#(relationship things)

[long-distance-love]

Being called "my love" will always be superior to just "love", I will not elaborate.

[pharissofthemall374]

Things that my hypersexual partner has said to me, an asexual:

Them: *slides their hands in the legs of my pants, holding my ankles* LOOK!! I’m in your paaaaannts

[the-siren-in-your-fridge]

Amatonormativity has done irreparable damage to the minds of the youth

[abcd-adventures]

It never ceases to annoy me that no matter how much time has passed, my brain can still default to old fears when I am stressed or perceive that something is wrong. My husband has been quiet/a bit distant the last two days and despite wracking my brain and coming up with absolutely nothing that I have done to be the cause of this, my brain still tells me, "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!" And, then, there is the litany of things that in my looong-ago relationship would have caused my partner to be angry with me (utterly ridiculous shit usually related to my appearance or NORMAL interactions with others); those come up and all the old insecurities become front-and-center despite the years I've spent confronting them. Cool, Brain. Cool.

It has been almost TWENTY YEARS since I was with my ex-husband. (Holy shit...time is crazy and passes so fast.) It very much pisses me off that there are still threads of that relationship in my healthy, loving, 18-year relationship with my current husband. Obviously, I know--intellectually--that this is normal and that everyone carries their baggage...aaaaand it's even kind of my job to help people deal with that...but it still pisses me off when it's an issue for me! Lol And, knowing something intellectually doesn't magically make it easy to deal with. If only.

I know myself and my husband well enough to know the timing of when to bring something up. So, last night, after a mental reality check for myself and when B was in bed and we were both done with chores, I told my husband totally frankly that I knew something was going on with him and while I respect his need for space and to process it and that he could tell me or not tell me in his own time, I needed him to let me know if I had done anything to upset him and I reminded him why I needed to know (he is familiar with the details of my previous relationship). It led to the best conversation, and I was reminded for the millionth time how grateful I am to have my husband. As crazy as my brain is, it is still--at baseline--solidly aware that my husband is a source of stability. He is here to stay and he loves me. I KNOW that. My brain still goes crazy, but because I truly know that about my husband, I can systematically go through all the crazy thoughts and dismiss them. I feel so. fucking. lucky to have that, and I know how rare it is.

[ynnuf-ekaf]

[bitchycunt]

"You're so hard to please"

Hugs? Kisses? Late night conversations? Assurance? Commitment? Random calls and face times? Healthy bond and communication? Spending holidays at home while cuddling? Words and actions matching? Promises? Loving each other unconditionally? Soft core intimacy?

[isnt-she-lovelee]

Got back from staying with my bf for a week today, and while I'm sad that it's over, there were lots of little moments that made me so happy so I thought I'd tell you a few.

Walking back from being out all day and he just starts poking me in the ribs and making tickly gestures at me

Chilling in his room and I made a cheesy joke, and his response was to pin me down and tickle me until I took it back... I lasted about two minutes 😭

He held my arms above my head and because I was being the brat that I am, he had to use both hands, so he proceeded to use his nose to tickle me (it worked more than you'd expect)

He was being absolutely merciless with me and just kept giving me this look that absolutely melted me... Like really smiling like he was enjoying it and looking all mischievous... MY GOD 🫠

[gdrflxboy-gayace]

"boring adult things" I'm excited for in my (queerplatonic) relationship

my recently new relationship has got me thinking that adult life isn't so terrible. someday I get to do these things, yknow?

figure out how to cat-proof our apartment together (both regularly and for christmas decorations, the tree)

decorate our apartment. the living room omg

decide who gets which bedroom and view blahblah

organizing our bathroom, ie shower products + the counter

hugging each other while one does the dishes because "ohmygod thank you I hate doing the dishes" "I love you too"

being who your partner brings to work events (like holiday parties or social events they're supposed to bring a guest with)

setting a budget together, using our strengths and weaknesses financially

grocery shopping

first moving in together after college and having to work out our career paths together

teasing each other over our "silly" food preferences (ex: the consistency of mashed potatoes, which cheese is best, fork or spoon for ___, etc) but strictly sticking to them anyways when the other cooks

picking a standard-ish time we want our dinner to be every night

watching jeopardy together

one of us taking off our jacket and shoes and immediately collapsing onto the couch with the other, taking time to hear about each other's days and feel at home

we don't intend to live in our home state, so navigating that independently while together at the same time

memorizing each other's orders (even more so) and surprising the other with coffee or treats occasionally

making the other's bed (we already sort of do this, also separate beds)

cuddling on the couch, one falls asleep and the other can't move without waking them so they set an alarm 'cause they know the sleepy one has work in the morning

if we do marriage for tax benefits kind of thing, doing taxes together

planning our holiday visits together -- who are we going to see when, buying plane tickets or choosing a route

using our vacation days every now and then to just do something small together

not seeing each other a lot for a few days because of bad work schedules and then choosing to spend time near each other no matter what other things have to get done -- you're cleaning the bathroom? sweet I'll help you, I miss you (the key to this is that the work schedules mean you just have more alone time, not that you don't have *any* time)

sharing calendars n stuff

working out family things together. giving distance when needed but discussing issues like parents aging, sibling emergencies, attending funerals

making sure we've taken new medications we're not used to remembering yet

supporting each other's new habits, like stretching every night or wearing a retainer (*nervous laughter*) or drinking a certain amount of water or eating less red meat

in my case, planning out when I eat nuts because of my partner's tree nut allergies

miserably cleaning out terribly silly things to clean like the oven but Together and with Music so it's tolerable

grabbing the mail for the other person

going to go vote together (have already done this but <3)

taking out the trash together

going to our high school reunion and afterwards we're just like "wow. huh. kay bye losers. shall we go get custard?"

the point is, I can't wait to keep spending the rest of my life with this person

[dramsstuff]

I suck at applying pressure. are we vibing or am i disturbing you?

[yours-trudy]

One simple trick to spice up the relationship and keep the people in the relationship on their toes.

[engravedinsanity]

🚩 red flags aren’t always about the other person. When you start lying to yourself about who they are so that you don’t have to face losing them, that’s the flag to pay attention to. 

[sweetkisschaos]

I hope I get to keep this one for a long time

[xiaq]

hey there! as someone who's now super happily in love with their friend, can you give some advice on how you knew you wanted to be romatically involved with B and, you know, friendship was not enough? i may or may not be going completely crazy atm and have absolutely no one to share it with bc all my friends are also my (possibly) crush's friends and i am not risking years of friendship for no good reason... help?

I'm very demisexual so I didn't ever look at him while we were friends and go "wow, would like to bang" so I'm not 100% sure my trajectory toward being more than friends is going to resonate for you. But I guess it mostly comes down to the fact that, First, I wanted to spend time with him ALL THE TIME. Which for my introverted self was odd. Like, I get peopled out very easily and to this day, even after living together for over a year now, I have yet to get tired of being in his presence. Second, I wanted to touch him all the time. One of my favorite tagged tropes in my fic is "how much can these losers platonically touch each other before they realize it's not platonic? THE ANSWER MAY SHOCK YOU." Except. I was very aware of the fact that wanting to just faceplant into your bro's neck and live there for a while was not normal. So. Those two things in conjunction were pretty good indicators, for me.

[the-siren-in-your-fridge]

“Omg my SO didn’t know we were dating for like a whole month!” That means you weren’t together. Just so we’re clear

Individual opinions on what constitutes as dating or relationship milestones vary so wildly between people (even people of the same culture) that until you guys are both on the same page as to what’s going on, you shouldn’t assume anything. If you’re thinking “okay so we’re doing typical partner things, this probably means we’re together,” you should probably check in with the person you’re thinking that about because they might view half of that stuff as friend stuff and the other half as undefined-but-leaning-towards-partners so it’s better to talk about it and be sure

I see so many people online complain that “we’re clearly together but they didn’t know that and they were seeing other people!” Solution is to talk about it. “They called me their partner but we haven’t had that conversation yet!” Have it now! Talk about it! Easy peasy broski

I know some people hate the “what are we” convo or think relationships are intuitive or obvious, but most of this stuff is arbitrary so it’s always better to ask. Be an adult and have the adult conversation lol I believe in you

[niroke]

Why do partners take the ugliest picture of you you've ever seen and think it's the cutest thing ever

[bitchycunt]

Everyone deserves a person in their life who won't give up on them and would tell them "it'll be okay, I got you."