#28😱

[star-sim]

"noo! she's taken!" ☆ enha hyungs

☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen hyungs x celebrity! fem! reader ☆summary: you are a very well-loved celebrity, and your relationship is finally revealed to the public. ☆genre: fluff, silly boys ☆warning(s)? ygs liked the maknae ver so here's the hyung ver! maknae ver

heeseung ☆

i think ur a musician here

one of those very personable and insightful ones

giving laufey or mitski yk?

anyways heeseung is THE stan

within your fandom

he's the guy that EVERYONE KNOWS

like ppl will argue who is the best [name] stan and the moment he's brought up they shut their mouths

heeseung does not play around when it comes to stanning you, his gf

somewhat like riki, heeseung runs multiple stan accounts for you

but he's most active and most well-known on 1) youtube and 2) tiktok

all his youtube videos are titled

"[name] concert 11/25/2023 nyc, usa (she looked at me!)"

"[name] concert 11/26/2023 miami, usa"

"[name] concert 11/27/2023 berlin, germany (i touched her hand!)"

"[name] concert 11/28/2023 jakarta, indonesia"

"[name] concert 11/29/2023 melbourne, australia (i met her!)"

like how the fuck is he going to all of these concerts when theyre literal hours apart and OCEANS AWAY

he likes to vlog his concert experiences

and theyre very entertaining because he's like genuinely enjoying himself

on his tiktok he also records his concert experiences

but i also think he posts your fancams and makes edits of you

too many times where an edit of you became known as "that one [name] edit"

he makes a lot of thirst edits of u

too many captions like "i want her so bad" or "she's so fine i need her biblically"

everyone knows who he is, even ppl outside of your fandom or the music scene

hes just that one guy that really likes you

one day ur on tour

its all fine and dandy, ur eating everything up, ur fans are loving it

and heeseung is documenting his concert experience

as he always does

and then it ends and heeseung posts it

however

this concert vlog

is

uh

receiving a lot of attention

TOO MUCH ATTENTION

THAT ITS

VERY

SUSPICIOUS

........

you and hee are just hanging out in your hotel when his phone starts blowing up

and yours too

all the comments on his video are normal, the ones that are expressing playful envy at heeseung's presence at ur concert

and like

it's not like heeseung doesn't get these types of comments

but one comment catches his eye

it has like 50k likes

and hes like oh shit

"at 3:05 heeseung why are you kissing [name]"

kissing.

[name].

he clicks that timestamp

and oh my god

THERES LIKE A CLIP OF HEESEUNG KISSING YOU

you see

when heeseung records your concerts he's recording it both for his fanpage and for the memories

he'll take as many cute couple pictures and videos with you as possible

and he just so happened to accidentally add one of the clips of you and him

kissing.

in fact

he accidentally added A LOT OF CLIPS AND PICTURES of you and him being a couple

ones of you hugging him backstage, ones of you two holding hands, even one where viewers can faintly hear you calling heeseung "babe"

and the other comments

OH LORD THE OTHER COMMENTS

"THAT SHOULD BE ME"

"HEESEUNG MOVE ASIDE!!!!!!!!!"

"i hate seeing people live my dream"

"SHE'S MINE *growls*"

"[NAME] GET BEHIND ME"

obv theyre all half joking half confused, but i think ppl are able to joke w him bc he's such an obnoxious stan 😭

and heeseung is like

poor heeseung is sweating and panicking

bc shit HE JUST EXPOSED UR RELATIONSHIP

but when he tells u

you literally are just like

"okay"

OKAY????

"it's not a big deal"

heeseungs like WHATATATATA

at first he's kinda unsure

bc ur so chill abt it that he's almost afraid that ur actually mad at him 😭

but you legitimately do not care

and when he realizes this

he goes from

😱

to

😈

because

NOW HE CAN FLEX ON EVERYONE

he goes straight to twitter and drops more couple-y pictures of you and him

he probably posts a tiktok that pans over to you on his bed or something

caption like "it's exposed now, but yeah, [name] is actually my gf"

its goes so viral

hes so smug about it too

like whenever he gets into arguments abt who's a better fanpage hes like "I'M LITERALLY A HER BF???"

he becomes an inside joke in ur fandom

i think everyone jokingly flames his ass too

"why did she pick heeseung of all people...."

"pixelated fancam, ass editing, shitty camera, yet [name] still chose him... what did we do wrong"

"[name] wasn't lying in her song when she said she has bad taste in men"

"i can't believe heeseung literally stole my spot... i should be the one that she writes all her love songs about..."

free him 😭😭😭

jay ☆

ooh this one is kinda juicy

ur a musician slay

but sometimes you do modeling

for one of your shoots

you're showing off your midriff and ur just glowing sorry

all ur followers are like

"ughhh step on me [name]"

"i don't think ygs understand i need her"

"[NAME] ONE CHANCE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"

"i want her."

very quickly goes viral

ur just so hot ughhhhh

but ppl notice something upon closer inspection

you have a tattoo on ur back

at first everyone is like

"okay sexy lady love the tat"

but then

when they look closer

they can't help but see that incorporated into the design

is two

very

specific

letters

J and P

almost like they're someone's initials

🤨🤨🤨

hmmmmm

interesting.....

who is JP?

HMMM???

and now that ppl look at it

you have so many songs and albums that refer to JP

like ur one album

called

"just playing, i love you" but it's commonly abbreviated as "jpily"

JP????? ILY?? JP I LOVE YOU???

WHO THE HELL IS JP

"whoever jp is, he needs to meet me in the parking lot so we can have a talk 😆"

"jp my opp"

"jp kys!!!"

"jp is living my dream"

hehe

you see this

and jay aka mr JP himself sees this

and ur like

yk what let's tease the fans

for the next few months ur just teasing jay's existence

using his intials

like one time you wear a heart necklace that has the letters jp engraved in them

or when you tweeted "i love jp" but followed it up with "Jurassic Park is a wonderful movie 😆"

oh god you make it so obvious

"jp is the reason i make my music" and then following it up with "Jimmy Page is my favoritie guitarist 😛"

like ur fans are tired

and theyre getting outright insane

"guys the winter is getting cold and dire... the voices in my headare telling me that [name] is dating this jp person and i don't know how much longer i can live in denial"

"fuck you jp that should be me!!!"

"i hope jp knows how lucky he is... if a hot woman like [name] tattooed my initials i think i'd die maybe"

"i'm fighting demons (and jp)"

until finally!!!

you go to an award show

you look great as always

ugh queen

and ur getting interviewed

the interviewer asks you a playful question like

"oh are you here with any date?"

AND YOU JUST SMILE

"of course, i'm here with my boyfriend, jay park."

oh man

when that gets posted

EVERYONE IS GOING CRAZY

JAY PARK

JP

AAAAAAAAA

and when the actual award shows gets posted

it keeps panning over to you and jay

and everyone is like

THAT'S HER BF????

all jay can say is that he's prideful duh

everyone wants u but he's the only one that can have you

you definitely take a lot of pictures on the red carpet at the award show

and jay is with u in a lot of them

he's holding ur waist so tightly

like you're not gonna run away cuh it's okay omg 😭😭😭

anyways i think it gets resolved pretty easily

ur fandom accepts jay

but they still joke abt him

and when jay makes a twt account it gets worse

he WILL respond to them

and he WILL flex u

every time he does it shuts down the argument right away.... if he wants to win he just needs to mention ur name

"jay meet me after the concert, we will fight to the death for [name]'s love"

and this mf responds "can i bring [name] to be the ref?"

"jay ur hair looks so fucked up in this picture"

and he responds "yet [name] still picked me and not you"

you have to tell him to stop fighting ur 16 yr old fans HELP

jake ☆

sorry ur a musician again

you have a new song that came out

yk how in some songs

there's almost like an interlude

where there's speaking parts

like in agora hills theres a small part where doja cat says "baby can you call me back, it's so lonely in my mansion" yk?

you have something like that in your newest song

cute!

except it's not just your voice

but a MAN'S voice too

JAKE'S VOICE

the speaking part is very flirty and suggestive

and when it comes out

ppl are like

WHO IS THAT MAN

and then when the music video comes out

theres a male actor that you have many scenes with

now.... the male actor's face is cut out...

but there are still many scenes with you touching him, holding him, kissing him, and vice versa

and when the speaking part comes on

that male actor is supposed to be the male part if that makes sense

that male actor is

drum roll plS

JAKE

when ppl read the credits of the song and music video

they can't help but notice "jake sim"

and when they search ur other songs and mv's

"jake sim" has never showed up...

until this song.....

interesting....

ur fans do a lil detective work

and this jake sim guy doesn't have any involvement in the music or acting industry....

so why is he in ur song AND music video....

hmmmm

they can't find any ig account linked to him

except one that's very obscure

it has a funny username like

"@laylasdad1115" so ppl are like "oh that's probably not even him" and you weren't even following that account so they just let it go

WRONG!!1

@LAYLASDAD1115 IS JAKE

and although you're not following that account on ig

when ppl scroll down to your very very old posts

they see something

very

very

very

miniscule

but

very

very

very

crucial

a post of you and a golden labrador.... and the caption says "i love you layla"

layla... laylasdad1115

and THEN BOOM

NEW SONG COMES OUT

AND AT THE BEGINNING

YOU SAY

"jakey, kiss me!"

OH MY GOD

WHO IS JAKE SIM!!!!!!

"@laylasdad1115 u better watch out...."

"who do you think u are jake sim..."

and then you have a concert

and its not a massive stadium, it's very casual

and there's a part of the concert where you just answer questions that ur fans have and just hang out w them

and someone asks as a joke

"who's jakey in ur song btw?"

and with the most straight face

ur just like

"oh he's my boyfriend!" and then you point to the front row and ur like "he's actually here tonight, say hi baby!"

and jake is so enthusiastic abt it, hes like "hi guys!"

while everyone else in the room is like

WHAT.

the way ygs are so casual abt it is so appalling

"[NAME] YOU CAN'T JUST CASUALLY DROP THAT U HAVE A BF I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING MARRIED"

"she's taken..... i'm gonna die.... "

LMAAOAOAO

it's known in ur fandom now that ur bf is jake sim or wtv

i don't think anyone even calls him jake

out of pure disrespect (😭) they call him by his instagram username

"laylasdad1115 might be dating [name] but i'm legally bound to her so who's really winning"

when jake shows up to your concerts i do think your fans joke w him like

"ouuu jake ur so lucky [name] is here or i'd give you a black eye"

FREE HIMMMM

sunghoon ☆

three words: your personal bodyguard

you're an actress cutie

and it's award show season

at all of your award shows ppl notice there's this tall brooding figure looming over you

ITS SUNGHOON LMAO

he's like

GLARING AT EVERYONE

HE KEEPS SQUARING UP RANDOM PPL 😭😭😭

ik this might be a crazy crossover but the moment he spots ryan gosling he's so ready to throw fists

"okay barbie boy you look like you want a broken nose"

sunghoon is very protective of you

obv bc the film industry is lowk kinda sus and exploitative, he def watches out for u a lot

everyone kinda just assumes that he's ur scary bodyguard

but then paparazzi pictures come out

and hes with you

in every

single

one

"goddamn her bodyguard is passionate about his job 😭😭😭"

in fact when the annoying invasive paparazzi interviewers come to talk to you sunghoon is sending the the NASTIEST GLARES

but like it's valid bc ur literally walking to Walgreens at 9AM on a tuesday why do you need to be photographed

"hi [name] can we ask you a few questions-"

hoon literally answers for u

"No. 😐."

interviewers are so rude, theyre like "well i didn't ask you, did i... [name] can we ask you-"

sunghoon just blinks and says

"No. 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐." again

and then ygs leave

theres clips of you at the airport where sunghoon is scaring all ur fans, which makes way for you to have a cmfortable flight

i think ur fans appreciate him but theyre lowk scared

"oh god this guy does not play abt his job 😭😭"

until one day

you get playfully asked abt ur bodyguard on an ig live

and ur like "wait what that's not my bodyguard, that's my bf"

UR WHAT????

HUH????

😱😱😱

ur fans are in the trenches

"i cant hate him bc he protects [name].... but damn i wish that was me 😞😞😞"

and when they review some of the clips w you and sunghoon they see you smiling and giggling with him

"he makes her happy so ig i'll let him have her </3"

"this is the hardest sacrifice i have to make"

i lowk think sunghoon doesn't care

he FIGHTS EVERYONE

only for u ofc 😊😊😊

maknae ver

[1donteat1restrict]

AŃA/3D songs

put your songs in the comments

note: some of these songs are explicitly about 3Ds

1. skinny by rebzyyx

2. blood on my docs by h3artcrush

3. hip bones by punkinloveee

4. thigh gap by ratrace90210

5. carmen by lana del rey

6. sippy cup by melanie martinez

7. orange juice by melanie martinez

8. creep by radiohead

9. restoration of the neglected by rebzyyx

10. i hate my emotions by rebzyyx

11. black bathing suit by lana del rey

12. 4 morant by com truise

13. 13 by h3artcrush

14. i luv being skinny by zeija

15. reality tv by punkinloveee

16. beauty’s pain but im gorgeous by horrormovies

17. nothing lasts 4ever by rebzyyx

18. yellow by coldplay

19. girl of my dreams by guti

20. things to do by alex g

21. sextape by deftones

22. pretty when you cry by lana del rey

23. 4st 7lb by manic street preachers

24. she is suffering by manic street preachers

25. you get me so high by the neighborhood

26. transgender by crystal castles

27. void by melanie martinez

28. no one here by kensuke ushio

29. the difference between medicine and poison is the dose

30. pretty cvnt by swrslt

31. cigarettes out the window by tv girl

32. nintendo 64 by alex g

33. diet mountain dew by lana del rey

34. i don't hate my body im just afraid of it by mallrat

35. precious by Depeche Mode

36. diet coke by leanna firestone

37. pennyroyal tea by Nirvana

38. ugly by the smashing pumpkins

39. you're no one by somburd

40. let me get what i want by deftones

41. let it go by the neighborhood

42. hunger by Florence + the machine

43. skeleton appreciation day by will wood

44. cynical skin by get scared

-omg i didn't think people would see this again 😱-

[pandenewie]

Dress Coded Masterlist

SYNOPSIS:

Dress codes are dumb. And everyone in school agrees. So why is the dear student council president Yang Jungwon so insistent on upholding such a stupid rule? And why is Y/n so insistent on changing his mind?

OR

Y/n finds a new way to break the dress code each day, purely to spite the student council president and make him change the stupid rule. But what started as a simple act of rebellion soon takes a turn as more is found out about the goody-two-shoes president. 

PAIRING: jungwon x gn!reader

GENRE: nonidol!au, highschool!au, socialmedia!au, sorta fake dating (you'll see), mild enemies to lovers, fluff, suggestive, angst (light), cursing, attempted humour. Ft. Enhypen Ni-ki + Jay + Jake, P1Harmony Soul + Jongseob, Kep1er Bahiyyih + Hikaru (+ Youngeun mention), Le Sserafim Eunchae, IVE Wonyoung, ZB1 Ricky, Seventeen Wonwoo

**any pictures used of "yn" are for outfit descriptions only and do not represent yn's gender/race/physical appearance in any way :))**

STARTED: 08/04/23

FINISHED: 02/10/23

STATUS: completed

PROFILES:

Sk8ter Bois | H2hoes

CHAPTERS:

00 - The Dress Code | 0.3k words

01 - White Privilege

02 - Pu$$y Gang

03 - A Little Manipulation

04 - Manifesting

05 - when bae gets you in trouble | 1.9k words

06 - Shota's Minecraft Girlfriend

07 - It's my turn to use the braincell

08 - It's Giving Control Freak | 1.7k words

09 - Enemies 👹 to Enemies 😊

10 - Damage Control

11 - I have the mind of a mastermind

12 - Potato Chips | 1.8k words

13 - DRUGS?? 😱😱

14 - Real Men Clean Bathrooms | 2.4k words

15 - Dr Dilf

16 - L + Ratio + Y/n will never love you

17 - Stuco Rizz | 2.1k words

18 - From homies to nomies

19 - De-yassified

20 - Mama I'm in love with a criminal | 1.6k words

21 - Prison Wife Era

22 - Family Vacation | 2.9k words

23 - Please No Feelings | 2.5k words

24 - Trauma Bonded ❤ | 1.9k words

25 - BREAK HIS HEART ❗❗

26 - This wasn't part of the plan | 1.9k words

27 - Gold Star

28 - Good Boy Gone Bad ❌ Good Boy Gone Sad ✔

29 - If it isn't the consequences of my own actions

30 - No More Hobocore

31 - Somebody that you used to know | 1.2k words

32 - Jongseob Marriage Counsellor

33 - Cute, platonically

34 - Where we went wrong | 3.2k words

35 - Ronald McDonald if he slayed

36 - No More Mr Nice Guy

37 - It's Giving Grease | 3.0k words

38 - The Updated Dress Code | 0.5k words

39 - Do-over Date | 2.6k words

FINALE - #savejungwonfromyn

TAG LIST (closed): @kang-yeosangs-initials @kpopstanmeg @b1ndignity @soobiverse @dudufodd @mikadorbs @pagesofmiracles @tya0 @ilovewonyo @bringer-ofchaos @huening-ly @latriii @callmeblondie @run2min @straykids-riley (can't tag) @rikimylove @chaechae-23 @lacimolela @n1ght-maring (can't tag) @luvvsjungwonn @yenqa @tzuyusluv @viyqe @vocaloshin @deadgirlwalking3 @flamiricky @hanniesss @grayscorner @wonqr @neozon3nha @beomgyusonlywife @ahnneyong @lani-heart @jayujus @str4wb3rizz @yunwonie @danielleismyname @spilled-coffee-cup @jaylans-stuff @oceanmsxoxo @j-wyoung @mrowwww @lazy-miya @shinsou-rii @minkyungseokie @s7noo @beatr2x @thatoneembarrasingmoment @soobawrz

@miumiuoi @lucyinthesky-00 @wrapmeinatortilla

[mitamicah]

Are You? Uno Reverse Card. Hockey Jerseys? How many more things will these two change the meaning of for me x'D!?

This artwork is drawn to celebrate that after months of dreaming and hoping beyong belief the 'Are You' tattoo saga has concluded with me getting both Bojan and Jere's handwriting (featured in the art as well) inked permanently on my art August 13 2024 😱😭💚💙

For the curious I'll post the full timeline of the saga below the line :3

May 7 2023; Two idiots go out together during the preshow days of Eurovision 2023. Their banter birth this iconic phrase

May-October 2023; Saying Are You in the right cadence (after this called to ‘are you’/’are you-ing’) becomes one of my favourite vocal stims

October-November 2023; The idea of an Are You tattoo is born in my mind.

November 28 2023; Joker Out announces their upcoming Europe tour.

December 1 2023: I buy Early Access tickets to Joker Out’s Malmø gig naively thinking it includes Meet and Greet (and that it would be the only show I attend – I end up going to four in total). Mentally planning to ask Bojan to contribute to the tattoo.

January-February 2024; I realize MnG is not included in the ticket- changes plans to make a sign for the show.

March 15 2024; Bojan sees my sign at the soundcheck of the Malmø gig and agrees to it within half a sentence (ends up writing it twice).  Afterwards I’m lucky enough to hug and thank him. Plus, we Are You together for what seems like minutes.

March-April 2024; I make a few concept art for the tattoo using both Bojan’s sentences that I share on social media. A friend (hi @feral4kaarijasquat) suggests trying to get Jere involved.

Story 5 - March 22 2024; I get a tattoo to memorize following Joker Out around in march. I end up half promising the tattoo artist that she can work on my Are You tattoo as well when/if I manage to get Jere’s attention.

May 4 2024; I take a sign with me to the Käärijä Böle Arena shows yet despite being on the second and third row I fail to get his attention.

Spring-summer 2024; Käärijä announces upcoming Europe tour where I buy ticket for Hamburg. After the disappointing and stressful experience at Böle I decide to put my tattoo hunting on hold for the summer.

July 3 2024; Gets first row to Käärijä’s homegig at Ravintola Backas, Vantaa. Jere sees and acknowledge me twice, including Are you-ing me. (This is important because it showed me that getting his attention was possible).

July 5 2024; Makes spontaneous sign out of half a pizza lid to bring to Käärijä’s Allas Sea Pool gig. Two songs into the setlist Jere Are You the crowd, then sees the sign (I’d put in the air that second) and jokingly half-agrees to write it on my ass. With the help of a wonderful finn I go home with Jere’s handwriting after that concert (also waves at Jere by the fence outside of the venue).

July-August 2024; I put together the finished concept art and contact the tattoo artist. I’d asked for a possible appointment on September 20 (if you know, you know) but she is unable to make it.

August 13 2024; I am contacted by the tattoo artist about a spontaneous appointment – within two hours after our first message I have gotten the tattoo.

[yukimisouzou-kim]

The Shenanigan of MalleYuu #28 Yuu’s View

Yuu: *looks at Malleus dreamily* “Hah… Tsunotarou is really beautiful…”💕💕💕 Grim: “Pfft! I bet you will see him differently when he grows some wrinkles!”😏 Yuu: *imagines Malleus as old man* “Still beautiful!”☺️❤️ Grim: “What about as a woman?” Yuu: “Beautiful! And pretty!”☺️💕 Grim: “As lizard?!” Yuu: “Beautiful! Gorgeous!”🥰 Grim: “AS A BAD EVIL GUY!?” Yuu: “Definitely still beautiful!”😆💕 Malleus: *SCREAMS AND GOING OVERBLOT* Yuu: “STILL BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT!”😆💕💕💕 Grim: “HE’S OVERBLOTTING, YOU IDIOT!!!”🤬😱

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfics - Crack Fic

Words: 986 😅

@wolfstarmicrofic

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Moony

(13:47) Sirius, I’m going to fucking murder you in your sleep. 😌

Padfoot

(13:48) you can try

(13:48) but

(13:48) i’ve been awake for hours

Prongs

(13:48) What did he do now?/

Moony

(13:48) He knows what he did.

(13:49) I said I shouldn’t go out last night.

Padfoot

(13:49) and yet out you went

Moony

(13:49) And yet, out I went. 😔

Prongs

(13:50) Pretty sure I just heard Moony sigh through the wall.

(13:50) So what did Pads do?

Padfoot

(13:55) O NO

(13:55) o nooooooooo 😬😬😬😬

Wormtail

(13:56) ???

Padfoot

(13:56) i may have given us all personalised ringtones on moonsss phone

Prongs

(13:57) 😂😂😂😂😂😂WHAT WS MNE?!??!!?

(13:57) Moony don’t bang on my wall to punish me for shoddy spelling when Sirius hasn’t used a capital letter since 2008.

(13:57) BUT WHAT WAS MINE

Padfoot

(13:58) do-re-mi from the sound of music

Prongs

(13:58) I am less excied about this now.

Padfoot

(13:59) naturally pete’s was rat-a-tat-tat by fall out boy and courtney love (absolute banger btw)

Prongs

(13:59) Nvm I’m back on board!

(13:59) What about yours?

Moony

(14:00) You Belong with Me.

Wormtail

(14:02) Ah. 🙃

Moony

(14:04) So Benjy suggested we ‘take a break’

Padfoot

(14:04) fuck im so sorry moons

(14:05) i can text him and tell him it was a joke

Moony

(14:06) Nah, it’s ok. I care a lot less than I thought I would tbh.

(14:10) James. Your headphones are unplugged.

Prongs

(14:10) SORRY SORRY FUCK ITS NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE

Padfoot

(14:10) wow moony’s having a crisis and you’re having a wank

(14:11) harsh

Moony

(14:12) I’m not having a crisis. I’m fine. That’s probably not a great comment on my relationship though?

(14:12) JAMES! HEADPHONES!

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Wormtail

(20:27) Lads, 😱😱 I think Benjy’s on a date

(20:28) Just showed up here with some guy

Padfoot

(20:28) moony sleeping 🤫 wtf we need details

Prongs

(20:29) Nvm, Sirius woke him when he yelled wtf

Moony

(20:40) Yeah, I bet that's David. He’s on Benjy’s course and he may have come up a few times.

(20:41) He didn’t even give it 8 hours. Wow. What a prick. I’m not surprised though, which probably also speaks volumes.

(20:41) Fuck. 😂

Padfoot

(20:41) you have four minutes to make yourself presentable moons then we’re coming in with tea and chocolate and a movie

(20:42) three minutes

Moony

(20:42) 👀👀👀 What’s happening next door?

Padfoot

(20:43) TWO MINUTES dont change the subject

(20:43) new neighbours

(20:43) all girls

(20:43) james is in love already 😂

Prongs

(20:43) I AN NOT

(20:44) BAD PADFOOT

Moony

(20:44) When did you meet them?

Padfoot

(20:44) one minute moony moon also we did not meet them but james spent a lot of time peeking out of his windoe this morning

(20:44) winDOE AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂

(20:44) let the record state that i was assaulted with a wooden spoon 😔

Moony

(20:44) 😏😏😏

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Moony

(10:01) Just met the neighbours.

(10:01) They asked what James’ ‘deal’ is.

(10:01) You were not slick at all. 😂

(10:02) They invited us over for drinks tonight, though.

Prongs

(10:02) It’s not my fault they were so loud moving in that I had to see what the commotion was.

(10:02) There was Beyonce and shrieking. I was merely a CONCERNED citizen. 😌

Moony

(10:02) That’s your story and you’re sticking to it?

(10:03) Benjy and David are already Facebook official. Wow.

Prongs

(10:04) Moony. He is a massive twat. You have terrible taste in partners.

Moony

(10:05) That is not at all reassuring.

(10:06) I’m going to drink so much tonight. 🙃🙃🙃

Prongs

(10:07) oh yeeeeah? Anyone from next door ccatch your eye?

Padfoot

(10:07) moonys only got eyes for me thank you very much 😤😤

Moony

(10:08) Don’t get me wrong, they’re all pretty, but no.

(10:08) Plus, I CLEARLY only have eyes for Pads.

Prongs

(10:17) So… whats her nameeee? 🫠

Moony

(10:18) Who?

Prongs

(10:18) YOU KNOW WHO

Moony

(10:19) Drawing a real blank here.

Padfoot

(10:20) hes just giggling at his phone

Moony

(10:20) Traitor.

Padfoot

(10:20) MOONY EHY MuST YOU WOUND ME SO

Wormtail

(10:20) Did you two sleep together again?

Prongs

(10:21) I mean the red headed, fiery goddess who lives next door and laughs like a witch.

(10:22) Ooooooooooh? 👀👀

Moony

(10:22) Emphasis on the word SLEEP. Yes.

(10:23) No homo.

(10:23) I mean, partially homo, I guess. 😂

Padfoot

(10:23) FULL HOMO BIG HOMO ENERGY IN THIS ROOM ;)

(10:23) get over it wormy

Wormtail

(10:23) I didn;t mean it like that!!!! It’s fine if you want to do that!

(10:24) I only request that you do it in Remus’ room, bc Sirius is next to me and I don’t need to hear his cum noise.

Padfoot

(10:25) let the record state that moonbeam laughed so hard at ‘cum noise’ that he banged his head on the wall and dropped his phone down the side of his bed 💀💀💀

Prongs

(10:25) Is his hed made of lead? That was so loud fuck.

(10:26) That means your cum noise is gonna be loud too. Ew no. go fuk by Pete.

Moony

(10:27) We’re not fucking, wow.

(10:27) We’re all very aware that I’m not Sirius’ type.

Padfoot

(10:28) what is my type

(10:28) fite me

Prongs

(10:28) dumb, obscenely pretty, easy.

Moony

(10:29) One out of three. Damn. 🙃

(10:29) Also you misspelled *bite. 😌

Padfoot

(10:30) which one what moony what wait what 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

[vodkamademedoit]

Happy Pokémon Day! 🎉🎇

It's been a minute. (28 years? 😱)

[iela-0989]

be careful promoting unverified fundraisers! decaffeinatedcrusadesweets/Sally Cheruiyot is a documented scammer profiting off of the genocide by copying a paragraph of nisreen shaheen’s gofundme https://gofund.me/223a4c96

they’ve been running this scam for months now, every time they are terminated they just make a new blog and spam send the exact same ask, and every time their PayPal account is reported they make a new one under a new name. you can use the tumblr search bar to search their previous names “purity sikuku” or “mercy jerop” or “dennis ochieng” or “julius kipkorir” or “janet cheptoo”

https://www.tumblr.com/kyra45/758067861748072448

https://www.tumblr.com/azalea-alter/760059462088278016/august-28-update

would you mind deleting their scam from your blog, or clearly labeling it as a scam so it doesn't spread to others?

Oh no😱😱😱 I already deleted my reblog on their post. Thank you so much for the information. Totally appreciated. Will be extra careful after this before reblogging🥺🥺🥺

[mybelde]

your bestfriend's twin brother 😱

pairing: Aether x fem!reader

genre: modern college au, fluff, crack, smau

summary: You have a pretty normal life, going to the same college as your bestfriend Lumine and your other friends, having average grades and having a good relationship with everyone you know. Well, everyone except your bestfriend's twin brother, Aether. Even though you've known Lumine since your first year in highschool, he always seemed to be avoiding you. The only times you did get to see him was when he was around Lumine. Once he spots you, he always run off, but why does his face seem red? Who knows.

Now, it was your second year in college and you've decided enough is enough. You've made it your goal to become friends with your bestfriend's twin brother before the year ends. It can't be that hard, right? But wait.. why are you catching feelings 🤨

author's note: my first smau so pls don't judge 💀 mostly going to be fluff and crack, probably ooc, i doubt there will be angst, unless?? also i have not seen smaus about Aether so this might just be me trying to self-indulge 🫣

likes and reblogs appreciated if you enjoyed the smau 🫶

status: completed [17 Nov 22 - 31 Jan 23]

Profiles: no bitches | short kings + child

↻ Other works

Act 1: From strangers to friends

01: new year, new me

02: bad feeling

03: first day ♤

04: wikihow | 4.5: besto friendo

05: apologies

06: friendly "hangout" ♤

07: blossoming friendship

08: it's quiet... too quiet

09: idiots, idiots everywhere

10: downpour ♤

11: are we friends? ♤ | 11.5: thank me ! !

Act 2: To thinking about you everyday

12: new hangout buddy

13: you're never this nice to me :/

14: too nice for your own good

15: denial era

16: lumine the thirdwheel ♤

17: we need to talk | 17.5: please shut the fuck up

18: so it's a "date" ?

19: just act normal ♤

20: separated shenanigans ♤

21: mixed feelings? can't relate lol

22: she can't hold you back

23: just make up your mind bro

24: everyone wants me fr

25: maybe i'm just a fool for you ♤ | 25.5: move your flat ass

Act 3: I think i'm in.... love?

26: questionable decisions....

27: GIRL WRONG ACCOUNT

28: how the turns have tabled

29: OPERATION AETHERYN STARTS NOW

30: W rizz

31: party night

32: how to stay sober challenge: failed ♤

33: drunk night confessions, am i right? ♤

34: you like me? ♤ | 34.5: first time? 🔞 ♤

35: #shipsailed, now don't get caught ♤

Act 4: Can't believe I'm yours now

36: down bad

37: you're weird | 37.5: suspicious behaviour

38: don't get caught challenge: failed ♤

39: code red

40: maybe we need to think about this

41: stop moping around and apologise ffs

42: sorry ♤

43: don't be a pussy

44: i only want you ♤

45: to my dear bestfriend

Fin

[1ris5starlight]

Mhh...I'm kinda curious now..

(0:21) That's a valid point to think.

(3:07) I don't like where it is going...Sun, you need to calm down..!

(3:53) OH god- I forgot how much they fought back than-

(6:02) Geez...that was a h*ll of a fight...I didn't see them fight for a long time...

(9:27) *terrified* Oh god...

(10:28) *still terrified* OH NO..

(10:51) *scared for Monty* MONTY!!

(11:22) *actually scared* 😨😨😱😱

(14:26) *still scared and angry* Monty! You shouldn't trust those psychopaths! They're going to kill everyone anyways!!!!

(14:48) *traumatised* PLS STOP IT.

(15:19) For how much I don't like to say it, but I agree with Moon with this..

(15:27) YEAH, I THINK IT IS.

*traumatised* GOD- THAT WAS HORRIBLE-

SUN, LISTEN TO MOON AND DON'T EVER WATCH THAT AGAIN PLS-

(By the way, I love how Moon and Sun look after each other to make sure they both are ok, like at the end of this video!)

[casinoquartet]

okay so I would like to elaborate on a point you made on the swagdoons moments we should talk about more. Specifically the one about red knowing about the wormhole glitch. Also the whole god thing applies to this too.

Ash avoids any reference (and has lied about it multiple times IF red is telling the truth) to red knowing anything and just never elaborates when it comes to this sort of thing. Then red is just so open about it and it kinddd of sounding like he’s bragging when he talks about it. And he told no one?? 🤨 huh? Red knew sooo far back and told no one???

here is an example:

ash commented that red wasn’t in a video because his reaction to the god thing was basically: “cool.” and did not give any other details.

red has AT LEAST said twice that he knew about the god thing from basically page one (because ash told him?? I don’t know if I’m remembering right) and he didn’t hold back from the details

nothing they say lines up 😭😭😭 one of them is lying about this and either way it’s still so 🤨🤨. Why would you need to lie about it huh??? And I am 90% ash knows what red is saying and he isn’t specifically denying anything red says.

I’m sorry they are soo confusing and just making this much sense of something and to not share it with anyone feels like a felony so yeah…

THEN THE “oh I’d do so many things for you ash.” WAS JUST 😱😱😱🫵🤨🤨🤔🤨 IT WAS SO UNPROMPTED. then the SILENCE after ash said the equivalent of my reaction in emojis I just can’t anymore

also can you explain how after the matching sleeve thing ash just kept it for wayyyy too long. Is it still there??? I think it’s still there. It’s like 4am and I NEED to go to bed so I don’t think I should check. But it’s such an easy fix why is it still there it’s driving me crazy

OKAY regarding the "red knew about the plugin" thing, i'm mostly referencing this clip (51:58-52:10)

red: hold on, so did you dupe or...how did you get the crystals? ash: (hums) red: ...or did you get into creative mode, was that the plug-in? ash: no, no. (annoyed) why do you--okay just tell everyone my plan. i'm kidding, parrot just forgot to check my inventory (laughs)

if we take ash's god video at face value, he did know about the essentials plugin since august (though it is debatable if the wormhole team knew how to exploit it then, i'm inclined to believe that they did considering around a month later the comfort vod happened and ash leaked the wormhole plans 4 months early...lol). and having foresight, we do know that creative mode was necessary to get the entire wormhole exploit to work so...that's why i said it was implied red knew about the wormhole glitch the entire time

anyways, adding onto the "red wasn't in the first video" thing, here's ash mentioning it in a tweet on his alt acc, and while red pisses off (/lh) ash in the comfort vod (1:10:05-1:10:44), ash says that that is why red isn't in the video and red goes "i know"

(also i was just watching the vod where red mentions that he knew about the s3 god exploit from the very start and it's also implied here that he knew about the s4 one too?!?! he got an elytra from subz and subz, who was on the wormhole exploit team, asked him if red knew about the exploit, said never mind, and gave red the elytra anyways. red then says that he knew about the exploit the entire time so ?!?!?! clip from 1:27:51-1:28:27 btw)

ANYWAYS yeah i don't know wtf the "i'd do so many things for you" thing was about either. something is up with them. alas i'm not a mind reader so i don't know why on earth red said that or why ash keeps the cut sleeve (i'm guessing it's bc he thinks it looks cool?) but alas. swagdoons truly did swagdoons all over the place,

[wulvert]

How old are paperteeth characters?

avy- 26

scarlet- 28 (in the body of a 26 yr old 😱)

kelly- 27

trish- 21 iirc? or shes 23.. i forgot. i def have a more in depth post of their ages somewhere

[bruh45567]

IS THIS REAL? WTF

FIRST OF ALL, I DID NOT WANT TO BELIEVE IT AT FIRST, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TRUE, BUT I WAS SHOCKED WHEN I LEARNED THIS, SO BY THE WAY, I'M JUST SHAring MY OPINIONS IN THIS POST, THAT'S ALL.

SINCE CARLOTTA WAS FROM 1971, SHE WAS 28 YEARS OLD IN 1999 SO, ASSUME THAT CARMEN IS 1999, CARLOTTA GAVE BIRTH TO CARMEN IN 1999 AND WAS 28 YEARS OLD WHEN DEXTER WOLFE WAS OVER 40 YEARS OLD IN 1999, SO THERE'S A LOT OF AGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM OMG 😱😱😱😱 (SO DEXTER SUGAR DADDY MEANS LOL)

🚨🚨🚨🚨THIS IS JUST MY OPINION, NO COPY OR STOLE FROM ANYONE 🚨🚨🚨🚨

[theportugueseswiftie]

28 DAYYYYYSSSS!!!! 😱😱😱😭😭😭🤍🤍🤍 @taylorswift @taylornation

[snicketverse-fic-finder]

ASOUE characters: How popular are they on Ao3?✨📚😎😮🫢

No.of fics with each character in them

Baudelaires:

Beatrice: 417

Bertrand: 257

🔧Violet: 977 🏆

📚Klaus: 822

🍳 Sunny: 662

👶 Beatrice II: 192

Quagmires:

Mrs Quagmire: 34

Mr Quagmire: 28

🖋️Isadora: 369 🏆

🗞️ Duncan: 367

🗺️ Quigley: 332 (Surprising tbh, I thought he’d win out of the triplets at least)

Widdershins:

⚓️Captain Widdershins: 40

🍄 Fiona: 114

🪝 Fernald: 166 🏆

Olaf+his troupe:

🎭 Count Olaf: 722 🏆

🍸 Esmé Squalor: 379

Woman with hair but no beard: 30

Man with beard but no hair: 25

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143

Henchperson of indeterminate gender: 84

Bald man: 57

White-faced women: 56 (just mildly less popular than the bald man yet there’s TWO of them- that’s gotta blow 😔-)

🎪[The Freaks] 🎪

Kevin: 14 🏅

Hugo: 13

Collette: 12

Denouements:

Frank: 76

Ernest: 92

🦄: 102 🏆

Snickets: (Take this with a grain of salt bc they have a whole other series -ATWQ- going for them)

Jaques: 347

Kit: 410

Lemony: 536 🏆

Guardians+the likes:

🏦 Mr Poe: 104

🗞️ Eleanora Poe: 14

📰 Polly Poe: 1

🐑 Edgar Poe: 10

💰 Albert Poe: 6 (Why is Edgar more popular??)

🐍Uncle Monty: 114

🐍 Ink/The Incredibly Deadly Viper: 8

🪟 Aunt Josephine: 72

Ike Anwhistle: 26

[🚬 Sir: 30

Charles: 54

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143 🏅

😃 Phil: 10 ]

[🎻Vice Principal Nero: 37 (That’s less than the bald man who has maybe 3 lines total, take that!)

Mrs Bass: 4 (Damn.)

Ms. Tench: 2 (Double damn)

Mr Remora: 3

📚 Olivia Caliban: 237 🏅]

🍸 Jerome Squalor: 104

(✨Esmé Squalor: 379 but I put her in the Olaf’s troupe section. This is just for quick comparison to Jerome. Poor guy. Ish. I don’t actually feel that bad for him tbh.)

🦅 The Council of Elders: 4

🎈 Hector: 48

Hal: 8

Babs: 9

Phil: 10

[🍎 Ishmael: 17

🐟 Miranda Caliban: 8

🕶️ Friday Caliban: 26 🏅

🚢 Thursday: 5 ]

Miscellaneous VFD members:

😎 Jacquelyn Scieszka: 172 🏆

🎥 Gustav Sebald: 78

🐟 Larry Your-Waiter: 85

👑 Duchess R of Winnipeg: 61 or 64 (3 are under ‘Duchess R’

Uncategorised:

Ben: 4

🚲 The Paperboy: 3

💃 Carmelita Spats: 149

Top 3:

1~ Violet Baudelaire! 🔧💜 (977 fics on Ao3 are tagged ‘Violet Baudelaire’! 🎉)

2~Klaus Baudelaire!!📚💙(822 fics!)

3~ Count Olaf! 👁️ 😈 (722 fics!)

Loser:

Polly Poe (with a disappointing 1 fic!😱)

[villaim]

texting: epel felmier

genre — fluff/crack

a/n — I KNOW I TOLD SOME OF YALL THAT I WOULD MAKE EPEL’S CONTACT JOHN DEERE 44 TRACTOR BUT I JUST GOT THIS BRILLIANT IDEA LAST MINUTE

notes — reader is yuu (ramshackle prefect), platonic?/romantic? idk whatever you interpret as

luke bryan — 9:28 pm

yuupunzel yuupunzel let down yer hair!

yuu — 9:28 pm

EPEL WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME THROUGH MY BEDROOM WINDOW

luke bryan — 9:28 pm

escaping from my house warden DURR

escape vil shoenheit obey 😱😱

yuu — 9:28 pm

vil is gonna vogue his way over here by 10 💀

luke bryan — 9:28 pm

open up before he does i ain’t risking it

we’ll just fake sleep when his prissy ass scampers over

yuu — 9:29 pm

if i open the door we are playing royal high

luke bryan — 9:29 pm

OMH NAUU

i caught vil playin this game last week 💀

open the door tho i didn’t escape pomefiore for nothin

yuu — 9:29 pm

On my way!

luke bryan — 12:27 am

this hoemo ace keeps blowing up my phone 💀

get yer stanky baller off my ass

yuu — 12:28 am

why is he texting you i’m literally talking to him rn

luke bryan — 12:28 am

HES ASKING FOR THE ANSWERS TO THE HOMEWORK 💀💀

yuu — 12:28 am

HE WAS JUST ASKING ME THE SAME THING STOOOO

DID YOU ANSWER HIM

luke bryan — 12:28 am

im ghosting him

he can deal with that shi himself

yuu — 12:29 am

HES COMPLAINING TO ME ABOUT IT 💀

bros gonna be enraged next morning when we meet

luke bryan — 12:29 am

i ain’t loosing to a lil brit like him

yuu — 12:29 am

WHEN DID I SAY YALL WERE GONNA FIGHT

ace isn’t even british goodbye

yuu — 2:46 pm

tell your house warden to stop calling me a little spudling im Sick of It.

luke bryan — 2:46 pm

he saw the text 💀💀

yuu — 2:46 pm

wow i just love love Love! vil shoenheit 😘🥺🥰

can we movie marathon tonight

luke bryan — 2:46 pm

VIL AINT GONNA LEMME COME OVER AFTER THAY 😭

yuu — 2:47 pm

PLEAAASSEEE BRO jack and deuce are coming PLEASR

i don’t care what you do to convince vily poo JUST GET YOUR ASS OVR HERE

luke bryan — 2:47 pm

I AINT GONNA GET ON MY KNEES JUST FOR THIS

luke bryan — 3:02 pm

what time do i’ve gotta be there

yuu — 3:02 pm

LMFAOO RHLDPP

luke bryan — 3:02 pm

SHURUP AND TELL ME THE TIME

taglist —

@spadecentral @astiesgoldenberry @pastelmages @ventisaircurrent