#AND ALSO this person seems nice and like someone I’d be down to hang out with since I have a weird schedule that matches some of her time

[obstinaterixatrix]

told alicia about meeting our neighbor at the draw meet and inviting her over & alicia was like didn’t you say you don’t want to meet new people because you knew enough? & I was like first of all yes and also I contain multitudes. second of all, I am well aware that what I’m going to say WILL sound insane.

[ceilidho]

prompt: IKEA soap/reader fic. PART 1. tags: dubcon

-

You duck behind a stack of boxes when you hear Johnny come whistling into the warehouse.

He shouts your name out somewhere off on the other side of the warehouse, voice echoing through the building. You keep absolutely still, fingers clamped around the clipboard that’s pressed close to your chest. Even your breathing slows, open-mouthed so as to keep it almost soundless. It’s strategic. You’ve gotten good at making yourself invisible back here, practically melting into the stack of boxes. 

A minute or two goes by with repeated calls of your name, echoing from different parts of the warehouse like Johnny’s making the rounds. Searching for you. He’s probably been looking around the store for ages, with his track record. Someone must have let it slip that you were assigned to inventory today instead of being out on the floor. 

You only let out a sigh when it’s been long enough that any reasonable person might have given up on trying to find you in the loading dock.

“Hiding from someone?” a deep voice asks from behind you.

Your gut all but self-ejects. When you turn around, he’s standing there in the same bright blue shirt that you also wear. His is stretched tight across his chest though, like it’s a size too small. You wonder sometimes if it’s on purpose. It’s hard not to let your eyes wander, but by now you’ve trained yourself to keep your eyes level when speaking to Johnny. 

“Nope,” you squeak. “Just…you know…counting. Counting boxes and…stacks.”

He laughs, loud enough to make you startle. It’s far too enthusiastic, like you told a particularly funny joke instead of stumbling over your words and you still don’t actually know if he finds you funny or not. 

“Cool,” Johnny says, taking a step closer to you. The clipboard doesn’t feel sufficient enough to put any real distance between the two of you. “Thought I could maybe come hang out with ye back here. Dinnae want ye to feel lonely.”

“Nope, not lonely at all. Totally peachy. Actually glad I could catch a break from…everyone.” You take a step back.

He follows you, another step forward. “Aye, dinnae worry, I get what ye mean. Some of the others—” he whistles, “—right buggers. Glad to catch a break myself as well.”

A bead of sweat rolls down the back of your neck. “Aren’t you supposed to be…out in the front? I, uh, don’t want you to get in trouble with Jeff—”

“Ah, Jeff’s fine, kitty, dinnae worry about me,” Johnny coos, sounding pleased as punch. He takes you at face value instead of reading into the set of your jaw and the way you keep inching away from him as he gets closer to you, convinced that you genuinely in your heart care about whether he gets written up or not. “They fuckin’ love me, ye ken? Think he wants ta take me out for lunch tomorrow, but told him I’d only go if he invited ye as well.”

“Oh. That’s nice,” you whisper instead of screaming. You’re doing that a lot these days. Talking through the scream bubbling behind your front teeth. 

“Would ye want ta then?” he asks, suddenly in your face, three quick steps bridging the gap between you in barely a second, hardly enough time for you to blink. You blink and it’s just Johnny, in startling definition. Thick eyebrows and scar across his chin, the bridge of his nose perfect like he’s never broken it before. “Grab some lunch with me?”

“I, uh…I brought my lunch from home.”

“It’s a’right, I’ll buy it for ye, hen. Dinnae need ta waste your money.” Sometimes when he talks to you, he gets like this, fervent and almost desperate. He seems only half aware of it. “Ye like that mediterranean place nearby, right? Seen ye go there once or twice; wanted ta tag along, but dinnae want ta alarm ye.”

“You saw me go there?” you repeat. 

“Aye, happened ta glance out the window when ye were on your lunch break. Back before management changed my break time. Cheers for that as well because it was really startin’ ta bother me, ye ken? Not being able ta eat with my favourite coworker.” 

You never know how to respond when Johnny lets on a bit too much about how he feels about you. Sometimes he slips up and it comes rushing out, a big spool of thread unwinding in front of you.  

“Yeah, well…I don’t know about today but maybe…” you say, trailing off. There’s a danger in just brushing him off, you feel. 

“Tomorrow then,” he decides, grin still splitting his face. “I’m no’ on the schedule, but I can drop by at your lunch break and go with ye. How’s that sound?”

“Well, you know…it sounds…” He’s close enough now that if you lean forward, you’ll faceplant in between his pecs. Despite everything, you have to slightly fight the urge. Sometimes you think it’d be easier if he weren’t so absurdly gorgeous. It doesn’t make any of his actions okay, it doesn’t excuse his behaviour just because he’s pretty, yet still he pulls you in somehow, magnetic. “It sounds—you know, actually, I think Jeff wanted to talk to me about something, so if you don’t mind—”

Johnny tries to say something, but you manage to duck around him and scurry off, disappearing into the stacks of boxes before pressing forward until you burst out the main doors out of the warehouse. It leads to a hall that goes towards the store, but you haul it to the women’s washroom instead. The one place he can’t follow you inside. 

In the washroom, you can finally breathe. Resting your hands on either side of the sink, you look into the mirror where haggard eyes with deep circles underneath stare back at you. 

You flinch when one of the toilets flush and the stall door opens, another coworker stepping out. 

“Did I hear Johnny outside?” she asks, taking the sink beside you to wash her hands. You nod, still tongue tied. “He really follows you everywhere, huh?”

For a second, your shoulders relax. “God, I know, he’s always just hovering—”

She cuts you off, sighing dreamily. “You’re so lucky. He’s so hot, it’s unreal. I can’t believe he works here, like that’s insane. I’d kill to have him as obsessed with me as he is with you.”

“He’s—he’s not into me, he’s just…you know, he just hovers.”

The water shuts off. Your coworker shoots you a dubious look, almost mocking. “Yeah, alright. Sure. Not into you. Not like he hangs off your every word. You don’t have to be humble—we’re already jealous. It’s like rubbing it in when you pretend like it’s totally normal.”

You slump, defeated, when she leaves without drying her hands. It’s moot to try and commiserate with anyone. They don’t see him the way you do, not for who he is. Your coworkers love Johnny; you’ve seen someone genuinely fistpump after being scheduled with him. 

They don’t see any of the weird shit though. They don’t see the way he insists on walking you to your car well into the evening after a closing shift together. They don’t notice the way Johnny laughs a little too hard and with too much vigour when someone calls him your shadow, his eyes just a little too bright and fervent. 

They’re never around to see him ask if you want to sit on his lap while he shows you how to use the forklift in the backroom. They’ve never seen him beg management to let him take his breaks with you and doesn't let you have a moment of peace, just sits with you in the breakroom or follows you to your car when you say that you're going out for lunch. 

Sometimes you look at him and think, this guy should not be in the Appliance section of a big box store. Johnny should be on the front cover of magazines, in commercials for toothpaste, acting in Hallmark movies, or maybe hand modelling for obscenely ornate watch companies that cost the equivalent of a mortgage—not handing out free samples of sliced cheese.

That was then.

It starts like this: an overeager sales associate who butts his way to the front of the line on your first day. 

You think at first that you’re golden. It seems like a sweet deal—an easy enough job, maybe not what you went to school for, but still something to pass the time and not too backbreaking. Plus, the guy shaking your hand and chatting up a storm in front of you is making you melt inside. He’s easy on the eyes—all bright smiles, effortless charm, either just brushing or exactly six feet, and built. Broad shouldered and lean. 

Johnny’s a model employee as well—knows the handbook inside and out, and shows you the ropes on your first day along with the assistant manager giving you a tour of the store, which is helpful because there’s at least three floors that you could easily get lost on. He walks elderly customers to their cars with their bags, shows up to work early for every shift, always with a smile and a positive attitude, and you find out early on that management loves him because of his frankly incredible sales record. 

(And you get it too; you can’t imagine anyone looking into those gorgeous blue eyes and turning him down.)

He's also a spokesperson for the company in all of their internal training videos because he was hired through some “Jobs for Vets” program that they just rolled out. The guy can also stack things on a shelf like no one's business, products lined up with military precision (hence the ex-military status). 

All in all, you can’t help feeling like for once in your life, you didn’t draw the short stick. 

Then one day, you’re alone with Johnny in the breakroom early in the morning before the store has opened yet and he turns to you with a wide, boyish grin and says apropos of nothing, “Named my fleshlight after you.”

You think your brain skips a couple tracks like a record player. You rewind and replay what was just said to you. There’s no two ways about it—you must have misheard him. Of course you did because surely your coworker of two months didn’t just look you in the eyes and say with a sweet sunshine smile that he named his sex toy after you. 

He doesn’t laugh, just stands there and smiles while stirring sugar into his coffee. He takes it black. You take note of that because the brain still has to work when the mind shuts down momentarily, so you use it instead to catalogue things around the breakroom. One of the motivational posters hanging near the door is hung a bit off-centre. The fluorescent lightbulb on the far side of the room is dimmer than the others. Johnny’s eyes have a little light spot in them like the tip of an ocean wave.

“Excuse me?” you ask, dumbfounded. Your voice sounds hollow even to you.

“I named her after ye,” he repeats, not a trace of shame in his voice. “Used ta not have a name at all, but figured since I say it so much when I’m enjoyin’ her, she might as well share it with ya.” 

He stares at you after saying that, letting it hang in the air. Your brain chooses that moment to come back online and all it can do is load that image of Johnny home alone with his fleshlight, toes curled in his sheets and the muscles of his legs straining as he moans your name. All you can do is give a little awkward laugh, growing more uncomfortable by the second the longer he stares at you without blinking. 

Then, something passes over his eyes and suddenly he's back to normal, laughing and clapping you on the arm before wandering off to the men's apparel section. 

It leaves you reeling for the rest of the day, sure you imagined it. It recontextualizes a few things for you though. He’s always been on the handsy side, verging on inappropriate, but skirting just enough around the edges of it that you usually brush off Johnny’s weird behaviour. Chalk it up to annoying little brotherly tendencies. You know he has a few older sisters anyway; you figured it was just how he related to women in his environment.

Not so. 

It escalates after that initial escalation. Not that things started off on an appropriate note, but at least before you could rationalize most of his quirks.

Now it’s this: his hand on your lower back during work hours when you’re busy helping a customer and he sidles up next to you, pinkie brushing so low on your back that you worry for a second that he might slip it down the back of your pants. Lifting you up by the hips whenever you have a hard time reaching something on a shelf instead of just reaching up and grabbing it for you. A complete misuse of his height. He digs his fingers into your sides and never lets you go right away when he puts you down. 

“Aw shit, bonnie,” he coos when you complain about it hurting you. “Dinnae mean ta hurt ye. Want me to give ye a little massage in the breakroom?” 

You learn quickly that there’s no point in complaining about his behaviour to anyone. You can't complain to any of your coworkers because the second you so much as criticize his work, they bark at you to be nice to him. He's just re-acclimating to civilian life, of course he's not perfect at his job yet, they say. They defend him almost viciously; the real jealous ones even tell on you in front of him, leaving you to stand there embarrassed and on the spot until Johnny just smiles and says that it's alright. That you'll just have to teach him better. 

There’s not much you can do besides grin and bear it. You can hope one day that you'll get transferred; you don't have much hope for him being transferred. Not with how endeared he is to management.

When you finally open the door, ready to leave the bathroom and get back to work, you nearly scream when Johnny lurches off the wall across from the bathroom door where he’s been leaning. Waiting for you.

“C’mon, hen,” he says, all teeth. “Lemme walk ye back ta work.”

[thetarttfuldickhead]

There was this post a little while back suggesting that Beard gets kicked out by Jane and moves in with Higgins and that’s very narratively satisfying and right, given that Leslie’s the one person daring to tell Beard that his relationship with Jane isn’t, you know, great. However, I’m a Roy & Jamie girl at heart, so I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Beard instead moved in with his fellow fan of few words, ie one Roy Kent.

Say, for instance, that Roy and Jamie are fucking/dating/what have you and Jamie gets it into his pretty, silly head that they can somehow hide the fact from Beard. Roy tells him stop being an idiot, of course he’s going to know if he’s staying here, only way to keep it from him if you keep away until he finds another place to live, and fuck no, I’m not moving in with you, how the fuck would I explain that, and anyway your fucking headboard would give me a migraine.

Well, Jamie says mulishly, I’m not staying away.

Fine, Roy says, secretly a little relieved. So he’ll know. Big fucking deal.

And in this version of events Roy really is cool with it, because it has to come out sooner or later and he’s not ashamed and it’s not like Beard’s gonna say anything (Roy may or may not be mistaken in this assumption), and anyway, he’s Roy Kent, he does whatever the hell he wants, okay. Only Jamie doesn’t accept that, because he has this strong and somewhat misguided notion that he needs to defend Roy’s honour by not letting anyone suspect he’s fucking his player. So Jamie starts making up increasingly absurd excuses as to why he should show up at Roy’s place like having some work done at my house and Roy was concerned I’d be breathing in poisonous fumes, yeah, so he said I had to come over here and um, Coach, I think I strained my calf today, could you maybe take a look here in the bedroom ‘cause my back hurts too and I need to lay down and yeah, Beard’s eyebrows are not as psychotic as Roy’s but they certainly climb and climb and climb. Later in the evening he just glances at Roy, so, you and Jamie, huh? And Roy shrugs, unconcerned, yeah, and pours himself another cup of tea. He doesn’t tell Jamie that they’ve been made, though; it’s still kind of fun watching the muppet make a fool of himself. Besides, the idea of their encounters being particularly illicit seems to really get Jamie going, so.

Alternatively, Jamie agrees to stay away, and then proceeds to do everything in his power to set Beard up with someone else so that Beard can be happy and move in with his new friend and Jamie can go back to shagging his grumpy old boyfriend all over the house. The attempts are predictably absurd, but also oddly sweet (‘cause Jamie wants the relationship to last, right, so that Beard doesn’t come knocking on Roy’s door again anytime soon, so obviously he needs to find someone properly nice, but it’s hard for him to figure what nice means to someone as odd as Beard).

(These two scenarios work if Keeley’s part of the mix, too, btw. She can either join in Jamie’s antics because she’s a weird girl at heart, or she can be the voice of reason if a voice of reason is what gets you going.)

Or say that Roy and Jamie really are just friends (for the moment, at least) and it’s Roy that gets a little nervous about Beard realizing just how close they are. Like, he’s reluctantly cool with everyone knowing that Jaime is his favourite player (though of course he’d deny it if someone dared say it to his face) or them knowing that Roy spends stupid amounts of time torturing training Jamie, but he’s not quite comfortable having people know that they also just… hang out. That Roy cooks Jamie dinner. Leaves Phoebe with him when Roy’s busy with a coaching crisis. That they watch stupid shit on the telly together, and that Roy doesn’t complain (much) when Jamie curls up to him like a cat. That stuff’s private, all right? So he stops having Jamie over, starts brushing him off, and at first Jamie’s undeterred because if he let Roy’s grumpiness get to him he’d never not be gotten to, but Roy persists and Jamie starts to wilt, hurt and confused. In the end, Beard – wise, all-seeing Beard – fixes Roy with one long stare and notes that there’s nothing wrong with having a friend, Coach. Plenty wrong with being shit to the ones you’ve got, though, and Roy doesn’t even yell fuck he just stands there, stony like, until he jerks a short nod and stalks off to make things up to Jamie.

Anyway, the idea of Beard bearing witness to Roy and/or Jamie being particularly ridiculous about each other is very funny, to me.

(I tried to hunt down that original post because even though I didn’t want to add to it and derail OP’s poignant take with my Roy & Jamie obsession, I still want to credit them for the original idea. Couldn’t find it, however, but please give me a shout if you have a link. Aha! @coachbeards is the original galaxy brain!)

[mamamangaka]

(No one has posted this and I need it so I shall cook for myself)

- Yandere!Alastor with a g/n reader who likes toys and art stuff -

Okay so here’s the thing I kinda see about Alastor:

Hes a fucking looney who will do anything and everything to keep you if he happens to fall in love.

But lemme tell you if you break past those walls and manage to ameliorate his aceness to the point that he’s yandere about you then baby you done.

You might as well have signed over your soul to him.

I like to think only one thing in particular would peak his interest at first.

Maybe your drawing outside a coffee shop -

Or reading tarot cards at the park?

Perhaps even reading under a tree, who knows?

But whatever it is, Alastor saw you and he froze.

He never once expected to fall so deeply in love (especially not at first sight) and I feel that when he did finally succumb after a bit of denial, it would be a quick realization and he’d make a decision to seek you out immediately.

He’d closely stalk you for some time but when he gets you, he’d keep you in his radio tower, where no one else goes and where his world really is.

He’d probably kidnap you mere weeks after realizing he’s enamored, it wouldn’t take long before he came up behind you out of nowhere.

He was someone you’d only seen once or twice in passing but found attractive each time, though you weren’t exactly thinking about a partnership.

He wouldn’t be asking you, he’d simply take you.

(You didn’t need to know he’d been admiring you anyway.)

You weren’t someone of great power or who was well known. You simply met a tragic fate and unfortunately ended up here by mistake due to being involved in “black magic”.

It was unfair, in your opinion, to be cast down simply due to your divination talents and history.

Never once did you misuse your gifts yet here you were.

When you come around, you’re in Alastor room in the hotel.

He explains the situation and gives you options.

You ask to go, not interested in whatever he’s offering and he explains that’s not an option so you need to pick another one.

After demanding to leave, trying to open the door, banging and calling for help and eventually pleading and sobbing with him, you realize you aren’t going anywhere.

You wheep and hoarsely beg as he carries you into the wooded area that seems to pocket into another place.

You realize later that it was a path to the radio tower.

There’s a wooden door that leads to his own personal “home” in that tower.

And inside, I’d expect it’s quite nice.

Greenery everywhere, plants and/or herbs hanging from the ceiling and a cozy woodstove. Lovely flowers and pretty trees surrounding the outside, blocking the view of the horrors that hell had naturally.

A earthy, modest but very comfortable and exquisite environment and cottage style house with at least one library on hand.

But he can take all this beauty away quite easily, so don’t forget or step out of line. The view is a luxury he gives based on your behavior; do not tread lightly.

Now, he’s very commanding and strict with his darling, often times dictating what they eat and wear, bossing them around and physically moving them to where he wants.

• “My little doe, you were simply taking too much time to get to me, I was just helping you along.”

• “Oh darling, don’t you know I’m doing this for your own good? Don’t cry, come here: give me a kiss.”

• “No no, little doe. It’s best if you rest right now. Ah, yes, I can see you don’t want to sleep. How about I read to you or turn the radio on, hm?”

But he’s also super old timey and you would immediately be considered his spouse, and he would pamper and treat you with such respect (at least as much as he could)

If he found out you liked dolls or soft toys, well he’d be all over that and try to use it to his advantage.

I feel like it would be a rag doll copy of himself or a porcelain/ball jointed doll (dressed in 1920-1950 attire) as a Victorian styled Queen or what not.

• “You seem so lonely honey bun, so I picked you up something nice. Hopefully it will warm you a little when you think of me.”

• “I can see you fiddle with your hands a lot, mi amor. Here, have a doll to dress and play with for when your pretty hands need a break from the books.”

• “Oh my, it seems a nap is in order for your crankiness. Where is your toy? It’s better for you to have something to sleep with while I’m doing the broadcast.”

But he wouldn’t have bought it for you, oh no, because the only thing he buys you is the most pristine art supplies and most flattering jewelry and clothes —

— he’d have made this himself for you, from his own power.

And he’d use it to keep an eye on you no matter where you happened to be.

Needed a moment alone? Not without the doll he gave you.

Was hiding from punishment? Not without the doll.

If you left it somewhere in a vain attempt for distance, you’d find it on your person the second you reached in your bag or turned around.

And when Alastor found out you left it? He’d be livid.

But you wouldn’t know he was mad by his face, only his voice and the static crackle in the background.

• “Don’t you ever leave that doll again sweetheart. Do you understand me?”

• “This is how I protect you, darling. It’s best for everyone if you follow direction.”

• “Now honey, you don’t want to lose your privilege to wander around the hotel and mingle with the others, do you? Then you best keep that doll close, hm?”

If you possibly took a liking to the doll he gave you, well..

His heart might soar, he won’t lie

How cute and innocent you were, so completely unaware of the horrors he possesses — the doll possesses — if you step out of line

It’s something he really loves about you; you trust him (mostly bc you have to)

And if you took up sewing to make outfits for the doll?? He’d be so over the moon and even conjure up a little wardrobe for them if enough clothes are made.

And your drawings??? Oh don’t even get me started

too late I did it myself here I go

He would parade you around like you were the messiah of the demonic art world

It didn’t matter if you or anyone else thought you were good

You like doing it? Hes gonna over indulge you.

You drew something just for him???

Then it’s getting a golden frame and you’re getting the radio host fame.

He wouldn’t let anyone touch your sketchbook. He’d actually kill anyone who destroys any piece of your work.

He always coos over you, he’s literally obsessed with you.

Admires you while your drawing like you are the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.

Always begs to see your drawings.

Does everything in his power to help you with inspiration or getting out of art block.

Hangs up his favorite pieces you’ve done around the hotel and talks you up to everyone.

• “My my, who would have guessed my little doe was so full of talent? Ah-ha, well me, of course!”

• “Oh yes, they’re nothing short of extraordinary and excel in everything they attempt. It’s absolutely magnificent.”

• “Quite the looker, aren’t they? It’s no wonder I fell so hard, they made this old withering heart beat once more.”

NOW LETS ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM:

What if you broke a rule? Either accidental or on purpose?

*rubs palms together deviously*

I mean it’s hell, so it’s not like you could actually die and he’d permanently lose you, but I could see him considering killing, traumatizing and horrifying you to make a point for when you came back. If you broke the rule on purpose or left the hotel without a damn good reason or asking him, I definitely think he’d ponder on it.

But I honestly don’t know if he’d be able to go that far if he’s to the point that he’s fallen for you.

I definitely think he’d be the kind to chain you away for a bit and ignore you for a while after really scaring you though, having only come in when you cry out for him or need to be attended.

He’d be condescending and emotionally manipulating for sure.

• “Well dear, we wouldn’t be in this predicament if you would have just listened and been good, hm?”

• “No no, you can’t come downstairs. I told you this time out is for two weeks. It’s been only two days darling.”

•“Now that’s not the way one of such class as ourselves behave. Shush your crying, my sweet.”

He wouldn’t tolerate a darling openly defying him, he’d put you over his knee and bruise your behind so quick and wouldn’t think twice.

And getting off punishments easy? Nah.

Good behavior or not, you’re gonna be going through the whole thing every single time. He won’t let you have even an ounce of wiggle room on that.

Your bottom stings after only thirty spanks? He isn’t stopping. He said 50 and he meant it, so buckle up buttercup, this is gonna be a long ride.

You don’t want to finish your plate? Well that’s a nice opinion, quite cute! .. but he doesn’t recall asking you what you wanted, so eat up ~

You aren’t tired? Well, allow him the pleasure of wearing you out and soothing you to slumber.

I think he’d allow the darling to cling to him though, that’s the kind of yandere I see him as. He’d maybe mock you a little at first and seem patronizing but all in all, he finds the need to touch him endearing and he does become fond of it.

I think he’d make you dependent on it, really. He’d always encourage you to cuddle up to him, always making sure you sit or stand directly next to him and that’s he’s always got his arm around you or you hanging onto his own.

He’d be tolerant of your crying. I think he’d find you cute while in distress, so that would be his favorite time to hold you tight. He’d caress your tearstreaks and kiss away the droplets.

•“Sweet sugar plum, you’ve been so emotional lately.”

• “Pretty crybaby, what can I do to make you feel better? Come now, there must be something your husband can whip up for you.”

“Oh, my poor, darling y/n..” he’d tsk, stroking the side of your face and nuzzling noses, “don’t cry, hush now, it’s alright, your faithful and devoted protector is here.”

[elliesflower]

i saw you in a dream [6]

chapter 5 here

summary; you get in your head about ellie and cat.

chapter; 6/? 2.5k words

cw (per chapter); language, light angst

an; SURPRISE SHAWTY

it's my birthday but i felt like giving y'all a gift. you all make my days so special and put a smile on my face with your sweet comments and messages. i love you all with my whole heart!

find this chapter on ao3 here, i also made a spotify playlist to go with this story, listen to it here :)

“Cat,” you repeated her name, with a smile. But it felt like poison rolling off your tongue. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she smiled back, and her teeth were fucking perfect, bleached white and practically sparkling in the soft ambient lighting in the theatre. It sounded insincere, somehow. 

“So, Ellie,” Cat was back to talking to Ellie as if you didn’t exist, turning away from you so that you could gaze at her super angular jawline and dreamy slick black hair as it gently brushed her shoulders. Ellie shot you a quick look that you couldn’t quite decipher—it’s not like Cat would have noticed though, she was too busy tugging at the hem of Ellie’s flannel. You quickly averted your eyes, backing away slowly, scanning the room for Dina. Wishing desperately that the earth would just open up and swallow you whole. Their conversation suddenly seemed…personal. 

“I was thinking tonight I’d take you out to dinner, my treat! Your set was amazing,” she was purring. “I couldn’t have done this without you,” and if she had a tail it would be sticking straight up in the air, curling at the tip and pulling Ellie in. You glanced back at Ellie, who didn’t look at you, and instead looked down and grabbed Cat’s hand from her flannel. You turned all the way around now, swallowing the lump in your throat. 

But Ellie sang your song. Your song? The two of you had hung out one time. You can’t have a song with someone after one hang out, can you? It’s a pretty popular song, and easy enough for a quick performance. Yeah. Your brain tried to piece it all together, drowning out Ellie and Cat’s voices behind you, maybe if you squeezed your eyes shut you could just pretend you were somewhere far, far away, not making a fool of yourself in front of a pretty girl you thought might like you too. 

“Dude, we gotta go, my chem professor just saw me and he’s gonna rip me a new one for missing my final,” Dina appeared practically out of thin air, like a goddamn angel, and grabbed your arm, tugging harshly. You opened your eyes, blinking at her. 

“Wait, you skipped your chemistry final?” 

“What? It’s not like I was gonna pass anyways,” she shook her head at you like it was obvious. 

“Oh. Yeah, okay, whatever,” you sounded dejected. You felt dejected. You probably looked it, too. Dina glanced behind you, presumably at whatever disgusting form of PDA was occurring between Ellie and Cat, based on the change in her expression.

“Who the fuck-” 

“It doesn’t matter,” you cut her off, starting towards the door. “Let’s just go.”

It was stupid. This was stupid. Of course Ellie would end up with a person like Cat. Girls like Ellie don’t go for people like…you. People like Cat always have the upperhand—their features the pinnacle of modern beauty standards, voices like a slow dripping faucet of saccharine honey, a presence that captivates the room in an instant. There was no competing with that. They always win. 

“Hey,” Dina’s voice was laced with concern, and she was by your side in an instant, matching your stride as you practically stomped towards the exit. You tried to blink away the tears that slightly clouded your vision. “What happened back there?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you said, not looking at her. You could feel her gaze piercing into the side of your head, and could envision her brows pinched together with worry. 

“C’mon, just tell me. Who was that?” 

“It was no one,” you grumbled, blinking rapidly now, fighting the burning behind your eyes. 

“Well ‘no one’ sure had some fucking audacity to-”

“Audacity to what, Dina?” You stopped dead in your tracks, turning to face her. She looked at you with wide eyes. “I said I don’t want to talk about it.” Your tone was harsh. You felt it, as it painted Dina’s face with dispirit, the corners of her mouth turning downward slightly. Instantly, you regretted it. 

“Okay. I’ll leave it,” she forced a smile, but you couldn’t say anything else, just stuck dead in your tracks as you looked at her, unmoving. Blinking. Why the fuck are you blinking so much?

“Seriously, it’s okay,” she said after a moment, but her voice sounded a little shaky, and you felt like shit. How did Ellie get into your head like this? 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” you burst, the pressure behind your eyes turning into a waterfall, spilling from your eyes as you covered them with your hands, shaking your head. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just…a lot.” 

“Hey, I said it’s okay,” Dina assured, and her voice made you want to cry even harder—she was so good to you, grabbing your hands away from your face and leading you further down the hall, away from the people that were trickling out of the theater. “I’m sorry for pressuring you. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. Ever.” 

“No, it’s not that,” you sniffed, letting her lead you out the main entrance. “I do want to tell you, it’s just…frustrating,” you sighed, exasperated as the cold hit your face and pricked your skin through the holes of your sweater. 

“I get it,” she nodded. 

“I can’t believe I thought I actually had a chance with her,” you moped, wiping the wetness from under your eyes. Dina was quiet next to you as you walked, though she looked deep in thought, watching the ground as the two of you walked. She led you all the way to a bench just outside of your dorm building without saying another word. You watched your breath turn to fog as you sat, instinctively pressing against Dina to share body heat. 

You felt shameful. Both for that terrible interaction with Ellie, and for snapping at Dina. You wished you had never even gone to that open mic, that you had just said you were sick like you’d proposed to Dina a few hours before when the nerves were settling in—you supposed you should have listened to your gut. 

“That was her roommate. Cat,” and yep, the name was still venomous. Dina looked at you, silently prodding you to continue. You looked down at your hands, rubbing them together in your lap. 

“Apparently, they ‘go way back,’” you made air quotes. “Wednesday, when she invited me to this, she mentioned something about a toxic ex. I have a feeling it’s her. Although she kind of acts more like they’re currently together.”

Dina watched you for another moment, before turning away, looking down at her feet. She was silent for a moment, and you wanted to scream. Even Dina, the queen of advice, had nothing to say to you. Lovely. 

“I’m sorry, but if Ellie doesn’t see what she could have with you then she’s fucking stupid,” she blurted suddenly, and she was no longer sad, but angry. You looked at her, and she was shaking her head, looking out into the empty courtyard.

“Dina, it’s really okay,” you said, but your voice was small and unconvincing. 

“No, I’m serious,” she said. “That was fucked up. And I’m sorry.”

You looked back down at your hands. 

“It’s okay,” it didn’t sound like it. “It was just a crush. I’ll get over it.” Dina kept her eyes on you, watching as you bounced your knee anxiously. 

Just a crush. Hah. Okay. 

“Do you want to go inside?” Dina asked after a beat. Yeah, you were fucked. 

“I think I’m gonna hang out down here for a minute. I could use the fresh air,” you said quietly. 

“Fresh air? Dude, it’s fucking freezing out here, you’re going to catch a cold or something,” Dina chided, before standing up. “God, you’re making me sound like a mom.”

“I’m really okay, Dee,” you tried to smile, but it felt awkward on your otherwise solemn face. “I’ll walk around a bit. I’ll be fine.” She looked at you for another moment with pursed lips, before nodding slightly. 

“Turn your ringer up, yeah?” 

You nodded, accepting her warm hug, gratefully. Ironically, you thought, she also kind of hugged like a mom. 

You regretted not going in with her about thirty seconds into your walk. It was kind of hard to think about anything but the bitter cold stinging your cheeks—though, you supposed, that was kind of a good thing. Maybe the freeze would seep into your brain and ruin the part of your brain responsible for holding onto memory of Ellie. Kind of pathetic, huh?

“Are you out here all alone?” 

You nearly stumbled over nothing, flinching when a voice startled you out of your thoughts, turning quickly to the sound. 

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. 

“Ellie,” you breathed, your eyes widening, your heart rate increasing by the second. She adorned a tan Carhartt coat now, her hands stuffed in her pockets, and she looked a whole lot warmer than you felt. You swallowed thickly, unsure of what else to say. So much for forgetting about her. 

“You disappeared,” she spoke for you, kicking her foot against the ground softly. Nervously.

“Yeah,” you said lamely. She nodded for a second, before looking down at her feet. You wanted to run away. 

“What are you-”

“I just wanted to-”

Both of you tried to speak at the same time. You immediately crossed your arms across your chest, partially for warmth, mostly because you felt really fucking awkward. 

“Uh, go ahead,” she gestured at you to continue speaking. 

“Oh, I, uh- was just going to ask…uh, what you were doing. Out here,” you stammered a bit, trying to gauge her expression. Fuck, she was hard to read. 

“Well, my house is that way,” she pointed behind you. “So, I gotta walk…this way…” she trailed off, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly. 

“Right,” you nodded, shivering slightly as a breeze swept between the two of you. You didn’t really want to hear what she was going to say. 

“Are you cold?” She asked, eyes suddenly soft. 

“Well I’m not exactly warm,” you quipped, but it didn’t have much weight to it. The corner of Ellie’s mouth twitched up slightly, but her face remained neutral. 

“Do you want to come over?” 

You felt faint. You felt like crying. You felt like saying no. You felt like saying yes. But you couldn’t say anything, so you just nodded instead. 

Ellie gave you her jacket, after weak protest. It smelled like how your tent does on a warm summer night in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the stars and the peaceful whisper of wind through the trees—also like weed, and that amber aroma that seemed to be trapped in her pores. 

She didn’t say a single word to you, after that. Just walked, wordlessly beside you on the familiar path to her house. You tried to regulate your breathing, tried to push aside the questions that ran through your brain like, why is Ellie here, walking me to her house when she could be having dinner with Cat? And also, where is Cat? 

Ellie’s house smelled exactly as you remembered it, though, the scent was mildly soured when you suddenly remembered that Cat lived here, too. The warm air against your cold skin made you shiver slightly as you shrugged off Ellie’s coat in the entryway—of course, she was by your side in an instant, grabbing it from you before throwing it over the rack. It was still silent as the two of you kicked off your shoes, before Ellie turned to look at you. 

“Do you want to go upstairs?” You weren’t sure why she was asking you. You were already shoe-less, in her entryway. 

“Lead the way,” you found yourself saying. Just like the first time. 

Ellie’s room still smelled the same, too. Earthy and rich, dreamy and intoxicating. You felt high already. Your brain was spinning, your heart racing, your hands slightly shaky. Ellie sat down on the edge of her bed, leaving plenty of room for you—if you ever stopped hovering near the door. 

“You can sit, you know,” Ellie said after a moment, smiling softly at you. An invitation. You swallowed. What the fuck are you doing here? 

But then you were sitting, next to her, just this close to touching her leg with your own. You didn’t look at her. It felt like middle school. It felt exciting. It felt so fucking confusing. 

“So, I thought you were going to dinner with Cat. What happened?” Your mouth was moving before your brain could stop you, and Ellie practically flinched at your words. She regained herself quickly, though.

“Oh, I didn’t really want to go out. I’m just a little tired,” she said, pulling her legs up onto the bed and crossing them beneath her.

“If you’re tired then what am I doing here?” You asked. Her eyes widened a bit.

“Well, I mean- I’m not that tired, I just- didn’t want to go out anywhere, you know?” 

No, you didn’t really. 

“Yeah,” you said instead. She was getting harder to read by the second. You shrunk back a bit, drawing your legs up onto the bed and leaning against the headboard opposite of Ellie. The pause hung heavy, nearly tangible between your bodies.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, looking down at her lap. You watched a loose strand of hair fall into her face, and her nose scrunched up. You wanted to brush it away, to feel the warmth of her skin beneath your palm as you caressed her face—

“For what?” You asked, even though you kind of knew. 

“For Cat,” she said quietly. 

“What about her?” 

“She can be kind of…a lot.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” You asked, like you were entitled to that information. Like you’d hung out more than once. 

“No, she’s not.” Ellie was quick to deny, looking back up at you now. Her eyes sparkled in the soft yellow lamplight cascading upon her face. Your throat felt tight. You nodded, pulling your knees into your chest. 

“She used to be.” Ah, there it is. 

“And now she’s your…”

“Roommate.”

“Right.”

Just the other day, Ellie had said she knows all about toxic exes. You didn’t think that meant she literally lived with one. What are you doing here?

“She’s just my roommate, I swear,” she was insistent, leaning forward, trapping you in her gaze. You nodded again. You weren’t sure why she was repeating herself. You glanced at the clock behind her on her desk, which read 10:32pm.

“It’s getting late,” you said weakly, knowing fully well you’d be up until three am. Ellie’s face fell, just slightly. 

“You just got here,” she said, though she wasn’t being much of a great host. 

“You said you were tired.”

“Yeah, but I- well-” she stuttered, picking at her cuticles. 

“It’s okay,” you were saying, though you didn’t know why. It didn’t feel very okay. As soon as your feet hit the ground she was standing up as well, one hand awkwardly snaking into her back pocket as she took a deep breath. 

“I’ll walk you back to your dorm?” She offered. 

“It’s okay. I’ll have Dina meet me somewhere.” You won’t even text her. Ellie didn’t say anything, but she nodded, giving you a smile. 

It didn’t reach her eyes.

[steddieas-shegoes]

I didn’t feel like this post was enough of the Steve and Chrissy friendship so please enjoy the prologue ficlet I just spit out faster than a person actually can (please excuse typos!!!)

--------------------------------------------

“You ever think about leaving this place?”

“What, Hawkins?”

“Yeah.”

Steve and Chrissy were hiding under the bleachers, waiting for the school to clear out for the day. This was only their second time hanging out together, but Steve hadn’t had this much fun in years.

“I guess. It just doesn’t seem like it’ll happen for me.”

They were sitting across from each other, whispering in case there were any stragglers in the gym, Chrissy still in her cheerleader uniform from practice and Steve freshly showered from basketball practice.

Jason had left with his friends a while ago, so there probably wasn’t much of a reason to stay hidden, but neither of them wanted to deal with him if he came back.

“I have to get out.”

She said it so seriously, Steve wasn’t sure how to respond at first.

Luckily, she continued to explain before he had to.

“If I stay, my future is picked out for me. I’ll graduate, marry Jason, work as a secretary somewhere and have two or three kids that I don’t want. I won’t even get to go to college.”

“Do you want to?”

Chrissy blushed and looked down.

“I wanna be a vet. But my mom told me I can’t. Too much school and she thinks Jason will find someone else and then I’ll be alone.”

“You could find someone at school! That’s so stupid. Your mom sounds stupid.”

Chrissy gave him a small smile in agreement.

“She thinks it’s the life I want.”

“Well, let’s say you get out of here and become a vet. What else does your life look like?”

“Hm.” She tapped her fingers against her knee, then beamed at him. “I’d marry Eddie Munson and he’d bring me backstage on his tours.”

This made Steve pause.

“Eddie Munson? Why him?”

“He’s amazing. He’s cute, and nice, and different. He wants to leave here and be someone. He’s brave.”

Steve agreed. Of course, he didn’t know how to say so without giving away that he’d had a crush on Eddie for months. That was new for him; liking men, admitting that he liked men, knowing the man he liked was Eddie.

Chrissy was looking at him expectantly. He didn’t know what to say.

“What do you think about him?”

Something about the way she asked set alarm bells off in his head. Nobody knew about him liking guys the way he liked girls. It wasn’t exactly safe for others to know.

“I mean, he seems a little odd. But yeah, he seems nice.”

She squinted her eyes at him before looking away, her eyes finding a spot behind him to focus on as she spoke.

“You know I have a cousin, Brad, who has a partner a lot like Eddie. He’s not allowed at family stuff, but I write him letters sometimes and he sends some to me through a friend.”

“Oh.”

“So if you maybe thought Eddie was cute too…”

“What? What makes you think I think he’s cute?”

“Hey, calm down. I was just saying if you liked him, I’d be a safe person to tell, that’s all.”

Steve’s body relaxed. He didn’t have to know Chrissy that well to know she wouldn’t lie about that.

“I-”

“You also don’t have to tell me or anyone. It’s up to you.”

“I do think he’s cute. In an annoying way.”

There. That wasn’t so bad.

Chrissy was smiling at him, reaching a hand over to his knee to squeeze it.

“You should ask him out.”

“What.”

Okay, Chrissy was a smart girl. Surely, she understood why he couldn’t do that.

“Yeah! I bet he’d say yes. Who wouldn’t?”

“Any guy I ask out!”

“Not Eddie. I’m pretty sure he’s into both.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Just a hunch,” Chrissy shrugged.

“Do you have evidence for your hunch or are you just hoping I get punched in the face?”

Chrissy rolled her eyes at his dramatics. Maybe he was being dramatic, but not that dramatic.

“Not exactly. I’ve just seen him at a bar that’s known for being a safe place for people who may swing in different directions.”

“And what were you doing there?” He raised a brow in question.

“I was testing a hunch.”

“You and your hunches.”

“I was right about this one!”

“And what was that hunch?”

“That I liked girls.”

Steve didn’t know what to say. Chrissy Cunningham was like him?

“Oh. So you’re…”

“Yeah. That’s how I guessed you were. And how I’m guessing that Eddie is too.”

“Maybe. I think you’d have a better shot, though.”

Chrissy shrugged. “I think you should ask him out at graduation.”

“What? Step on stage to get my diploma and declare my love? That sounds like a move he would do, not me.”

“No. But after. Maybe invite him to the diner to celebrate.”

“What about you?”

“What about me? I’ve got Jason. Eddie’s gonna be out of this place as soon as he can. He shouldn’t have to wait on me.”

“You have just as much of a shot with him as I do.”

Chrissy thought for a moment before she gave him a soft smile.

“I think you two have a chance at something. Pinky promise me you’ll try?”

Steve held out his pinky and latched it with Chrissy’s.

He would try for her, but he wouldn’t let himself consider a future with Eddie.

[hanniology]

two umbrellas | jeon wonwoo

Synopsis: wonwoo doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but you do after meeting him. genre: fluff, sick fic, kinda angst. warnings: none I think besides the fact yn makes a bad pick up line. calls wonwoo, wonuwu, im sorry. word count: 1528. pairing: jeon wonwoo x gn!reader. Note: another repost until i have time to post some new stuff later. 

“Hey there Wonuwu.” 

The boy you addressed the new nickname to lifts an eyebrow. 

“Wonuwu?” He asked with a slight face of disgust. 

“Yea I think it’s a really cute name for you, what do you think?”

He turns to face you with a straight face, “No.” 

Rolling your eyes at his response as he goes back to take a tour of the library to make sure everybody has left the building already. Knowing you’re gonna follow him. 

“OUCH!!” He hears you exclaim behind him. 

“Wonuwu, my face hurts.”

Not looking behind him because it was probably just a line to one of your cheesy pick up lines you’d always make. 

“Did you walk into a bookshelf again?” 

“What no that was one time-it’s because I fell face-first for you~” You explain, he was right about it being a part of a pick up line but he still cringed. 

“You ruined the joke.” You grumbled while pouting. 

You’ve always been like this, making really bad, cheesy, overused pick up lines thinking it’d impress him. 

The two of you met in a coffee shop that you worked at, Jihoon, one of his roommates recommended it to him saying it had good coffee and was nice and quiet as long as you don’t go in at rush hour.  So he decided to go one day when he didn’t have work, and that day you were working. You remember that day when you saw him, he was absolutely beautiful. 

You were taking his order and well when giving him his coffee you thought of giving him your number on his cup. Wonwoo received the cup with the number on it and walked out of the coffee shop to meet up with some friends. He didn’t notice until later when Mingyu pointed out and convinced (read:begged) him to text the number. 

He obliged and texted your number asking who this was. You introduced yourself as the person who was serving him and told him he was so pretty and was gonna try and win him over.

 He blocked your number. 

He didn’t want to seem rude but he didn’t want to deal with some random person he doesn’t know that’s trying to woo him. He’s also just been a strong believer that love at first sight just doesn’t exist. 

No one can just grow feelings towards someone that quickly. 

He thought that'd be the end of you but that wasn’t until he found you sitting in the living room in his dorm. He thought you were trying to stalk him and threaten to call the auditory. To then realize you were in the same performing arts classes as hoshi and jun, his other roommates and are good friends with them and they invited you over. 

And as time passed you two became friends (?) it’s complicated, the two of you would hang out because of friends and sometimes just the two of you. You’d always go on with your lame pick up lines and he'd just simply ignore them and move on. 

“Why do you always insist on coming here? You could just go straight home from work. And it’s raining today.” 

“Eh, just thought I’d give you some company, you know, it gets quiet in the library when it’s closing time. It gotta be boring.” You shrugged. 

Wonwoo finished the turn of the library and went to go get his stuff and you as always followed him. You always did and it wasn’t anything weird. He was used to it but you wouldn’t do anything he wasn’t comfortable with; you always respected his boundaries. 

The two of you were outside now with rain falling down crashing to the ground, the sound of it much louder than it was when you two were indoors. 

You watch the frown slowly grow on Wonwoo’s face as he looks at the rain. 

“Here,” you hand him your umbrella. 

“No, no it’s fine the dorm isn’t too far from here, I don’t want you to get sick because of me.” He declines the umbrella, dropping it back into your hands. 

“Aww you care about me~” you coo. 

He scoffs before mumbling a “whatever”. 

“The dorm is not too far from here so I could make a run for it.” He says before dashing off with just a hood over his head. 

“Wait!” You yelled at him trying to get his attention, “I brought two just in case.” Take out the other umbrella from your bag. 

He didn't hear you, he was just running and you watch his form become smaller and smaller as he runs with you standing there with two umbrellas. 

Putting one back in your bag and opening the other, you started walking to your place. Stopping in your tracks when you remember his dorm is not that close to the library. 

The next day you weren’t too sure what to do. You didn’t have any classes today and you had a day off from work. Soonyoung and Jun were planning on going to some tiger sanctuary , you didn’t really feel like going. 

Ding noise came from your phone, rolling to the other side of your bed to reach over for your phone. You see a text message from Jihoon. 

Unplugging the charger from the phone opened up the message. 

It was weird for Jihoon to be messaging you, you always thought he hated you. He always looked somewhat annoyed when you were around, but Jun said he’s just always like that. You weren’t even sure if you guys ever exchanged numbers. 

Jihoon: yo I got your number from wonwoo’s phone. 

Jihoon: Can you come over? Wonwoo is sick and I got work and Jun and soon left already. 

Yn: sure but how’d he get sick?

Jihoon: The rain I think he came back soaked yesterday. 

So you were right that he would have gotten sick. And he calls himself smart. 

Yn: ok I’ll be there just need to stop by somewhere

Wonwoo slightly wakes up at the sudden noise he hears someone enter the room. Jihoon most likely already left, but he did say something about someone coming over, not remembering who because he was too tired.

He hears the footsteps gradually become louder and closer until the footsteps seem to stop in front of him. Looking up to see you, you were putting down a big bag on his nightstand.

“Oh you’re awake? Did I wake up? Sorry.” 

“Eh, it’s fine.” His voice sounded scratchy. Before he could even sit up he felt your hand pushing him down back to his previous lying position.

“Rest.” You demanded.

“What’s in the bag?” He sees you in the corner of his eye, as you slowly take everything out of the bag.

“Oh, well Jihoon said you were sick, but I didn’t know exactly what kind of sickness, so I just took one of everything from one of the shelves at the store.”

“Even got you some corn patches.” Holding them to him. With the sleepy boy giving you a strange look, giving him a shrug back.

“But why are you here and buying all this stuff for me?”

You finish taking out everything from the bag and take a seat on the ground next to his bed. “Because I care about you.” You say simply. 

“Yn-’’

You interrupted him knowing what he’s gonna say.

 “Yea Wonwoo I know you don’t like me the way I do but I mean I still like having you as a friend. Don’t worry the feeling I have for you will leave eventually, but I still care for you, you know.”

There was a silent pause after you said that, you weren’t looking at him, you were looking at the ground kicking your feet side to side at each other. So you just assume that sleep took over him. 

“Don’t.”

“Huh?” Lifting your head, seeing his body facing you and watching you with soft, droopy, sleeping eyes. 

“Don’t stop having those feelings for me. I don’t want those to leave while mine are starting to arrive.” He mumbled quietly, before taking a sneeze. 

Handing him a tissue, letting the gears in your head turn. “Wait, Arrive. What??”

“Yeah, I kinda wish I’m not all snotty sick and sleepy when I confessed.” He admits, letting his head fall back onto his pillow. 

“Well you wouldn’t have to if you just took my umbrella yesterday.”

“I didn’t want you to get sick.” He mumbled. 

“Awwww, you really do care about me.” You coo pinching his cheek. 

Rolling his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.” He scoffs. 

“Ok maybe I do care about you,” he quickly mumbles. 

“So you should leave or you’ll get sick too.”

Shaking your head, “No it’s fine, if I get sick you’ll take care of me I’m not too worried.” You smile at him. 

Letting out a sigh knowing that you aren’t gonna leave. 

He starts to toss in the bed pulling the blanket higher, looking like he’s ready to go to sleep. You watch as his eyes fall close and his breathing becomes slower. 

“You know I had two umbrellas.” You fall backwards giggling at Wonwoo’s reaction. 

[illusionsdelusions101]

Bet~Pedri Gonzalez

Type~Fluff with a bit of kissing

Pedri was an amazing friend. And he called you an amazing friend too. And doing everything together would definitely result in someone falling in love with the other person, right? Sure. Whatever you say. Pedri and you made a bet a year after you met.

You were sitting on the couch watching some cheesy friends to lovers movie when you said “Ugh, why would anyone be with their friend? It’s so awkward, you’ll have nothing to talk about!” You complain and munch on some popcorn, Pedri raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Whatever you say, it seems sweet.” He points out. You scoff and roll your eyes. “Sure. Within a week it would be just radio silence from each other. Pedri, can we just stay friends?” You look up at him. He turns to you “Like a bet that we don’t fall in love with each other?” He gave the bowl of popcorn to you. You take it and then nod. You shook hands and an agreement was formed. Don’t fall in love.

A year later

“WHAT THE FUCK Y/N?? YOU MADE THAT BET??” Your friend screams at you on the phone. You cringe at the memory while straightening your hair for a party you decide to attend with Pedri. “Look, I made it as a joke! I didn’t think i’d actually fall in love but he keeps up bringing jokes whenever we’re around Mikky and Frenkie like “Thank god that will never be us!” hits me on the shoulder and runs to the pitch then I always get a reminder how I fucked up!” You put the straightener down and groan. “Y/n. Get that man tonight or someone else will. You know your red dress? Wear that and he’ll swoon!” Your friend makes kissy noises and you groan again. “Fine! Fine! I have to go. Call you later?” You pick up the phone and press the hang up button. You go into your wardrobe and pick out a red bodycon dress. It was time to make this boy yours.

You show up to the party, hosted in a club and walk inside after paying the taxi driver. You didn’t spot Pedri immediately, you also didn’t come together because he thought a lot of fans would assume your together and he didn’t want that for you. You sat down at the bar, the club already full of dancing, electronic music and a strong smell of alcohol. You order a martini and play with the toothpick after you downed it. You glance at the door. When was he gonna be here?

Pedri was shuffling through the crowd of bodies, pushing and shoving a bit sometimes when he finally made it over to the bar, he saw you in the red dress, making his cheeks red and not from the booze. But when he saw you talking to some other guy, he was sent into a quiet rage. Yes, he liked you. But that stupid bet you made felt real so he was respecting your wishes, but if having a relationship with some fuckface then yeah, he was gonna break it. He made his way to you and tapping you on the shoulder. As you turn around, he sees that the guy has put his hand on your thigh. That was the final straw.

“Let’s go.” He said. You look at his confused. “What? I mean alright, you’re my ride so.” You get up, feeling the man’s hand slip off your thigh. “Nice to meet you.” You smile politely. He says the same and you walk away with Pedri. You made the way into his car and after being inside for a minute, he still hasn’t turn the car on. “Pedri, are we-“ “I don’t wanna see you with another guy.” He says, gripping the steering wheel. “What? Pedri, you can’t say stuff like that.” You look at him exasperated. He looked at you and after one minute he was kissing you on the lips. You pull him away a tiny bit and with red cheeks and heavy breathing you ask him “What about the bet?” You gulp.

“Screw the bet, your mine princesa.” He smirks and goes to kiss you again.

[zeta-in-de-walls]

TommyInnit Times article

Hey, so Tommy apparently did an Interview for the Times. I’m copy and pasting the whole Times article for those who can’t access it. It’s a nice read. Enjoy!

If you’ve never heard of Tom Simons — aka TommyInnit — your children most definitely have. The 18-year-old gamer from Nottingham is one of the world’s most successful online streamers, with 40 million followers across all social platforms hanging on his every (loud) word and anarchic in-joke. You know, the kind of shouty Minecraft-related banter that tweens and teens find hilarious but leaves their parents baffled.

There’s no doubt he’s a master of his craft, with Guinness world records for most viewers of a Minecraft livestream on Twitch, the gamers’ platform, and most followed Minecraft channel. His net worth is estimated to be $10 million. His live show in July at the Brighton Dome sold out within 24 hours and he had a book published this week. Not many gamers make that crossover, or have their first interview in The Times come to that.

Simons must be one of the richest self-made 18-year-olds in the country and has a running joke with his subscribers that he’s a billionaire. (It’s presumably a joke, but he won’t be drawn.) “It’s cool I’m set up for life, but it doesn’t feel relevant to who I am. I don’t spend very much,” he says. “It hasn’t changed how pissed off I was when they upped the cost of the bus fare by 10p to £1.30.” He seems to mean it. This summer he visited fellow YouTube millionaires in their mansions and on private jets in LA, but he’s content living in the two-bedroom flat in Brighton he bought from his landlord, and his mum still orders him a Tesco shop occasionally.

He’s definitely got one over on the kids at his secondary school in Nottingham who made fun of him after they discovered Channelnutpig, the first gaming channel he set up on YouTube aged 11. He was mortified and took it down immediately. “You want to fit in and make friends, and in year 7 you’re beginning to understand that girls exist,” he says. “So it wasn’t that cool shouting, ‘Hello everyone, it’s me, Tom!’ on my channel every week and have people play that back in front of you.”

Two years later he migrated to Twitch, again streaming Minecraft videos and filming banter with his online friends, and at 14 began the TommyInnit YouTube channel that now has 11.8 million subscribers. This time he kept it secret. “Every time we’d be in a science lesson and they’d show an educational video my eyes would be glued to the ‘recommended’ on YouTube in case I popped up and people found out. I kept that secret for so long. I had 100,000 subscribers when people started finding out. “When I got to 100,000 there was this weird new respect everyone had for me. I’d walk through the hallway and they would still glare at me, but no one would shove me. It was like I had a force field around me. It was so strange. I remember a week before someone getting me in a headlock and shoving me around. I thought, ‘Wow, I’ve levelled up!’ ”

Was he bullied at school? He pauses. “Just normal arseholes, not anything more than anyone else. I was quite quiet. I just teetered on the edge of being funny enough that people wouldn’t beat me up. If someone was shoving me around I’d just make jokes and they’d leave me alone. But also funny enough that no one thought I was cool. At all. Which is the exact place I’m in now really.”

Simons is more quiet, thoughtful and endearing in person than he is on his channels or in the book, a collection of silly quotes and zany ramblings. He’s a self-confessed nerd (“My dad and I are massive nerds”) and says that his audience are mostly “the people I would hang out with at school, who were awkward like me”. He adds, “I’m quite anxious in real life, but I’ve always been very social on the internet. If you message someone and they ignore you, who cares? It’s not real life.”

He believes that most of his fans are aged between 14 and 20, but he knows that a lot of younger kids tune in for the Minecraft banter (or possibly the swearing). A year ago he started a YouTube channel under his own name to make real-life videos that now has 5.6 million followers. It’s free to subscribe — his earnings come from the advertising. He recently spent a month in New York vlogging his daily antics, such as I’m literally Spider-Man, in which he dressed up as the superhero, and Making 100 Friends in 1 Day.

Why does he think he’s so successful when there are others creating content along the same lines? He’s perceptive in his answer. “I think it’s the loud funniness — me having fun with my friends. But there’s also this element of warmness. It’s welcoming and safe,” he says. “It’s never toxic or preying on other people. Nothing is at the expense of anyone else. It’s better for the world not to say the easy, rude joke or the put-downs. There’s so much of that on YouTube.”

He says that his parents have always been supportive. His dad, Iain, was in the gaming industry, owning an arcade in Nottingham before setting up the GameCity festival. He now works with his son.

Simons’s mum, Sarah, is an actor-turned-English teacher for adults with disabilities who set up the further education group, UKFEchat on Twitter. “She was on Twitter long before I was,” he says. “Now she has a cool internet personality advising people how to keep safe online.”

She was less cool, he admits, when his GCSEs were approaching in 2020. “She sat me down and said, ‘Right, you have 100,000 subscribers and that’s really good, but you need to take school seriously. I know you’re not revising and your grades are dropping.’ She was right — I was getting grade 3s in science. Then that week we went into a global pandemic and I didn’t do a minute of revision as the exams were cancelled.” He ended up with a very respectable collection of GCSEs, including a 9 (the top grade) in English language. “It was the perfect amount of ‘mum points’ I needed to spend the [lockdowns] in my bedroom making videos.”

He then went to college to study for a BTEC in film and TV. By now he was vlogging and would spend time out filming. “Near the start of the second year I remember saying to my tutor, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t make it in very much.’ He said, ‘Listen, I shouldn’t say this, but we’re teaching you the thing you’re already doing so if I were you I would drop out.’ So I did. I started college with a million [subscribers] and ended it with ten million.”

When his schoolfriends were studying for their A-levels this summer, Simons already had his own flat in Brighton, renting then buying it. However, he says: “A lot of people want to live a lavish life and I just don’t. Mum still orders me a Tesco shop occasionally and will say, ‘I knew you needed groceries.’ I’ll say, ‘How on earth did you know that from Nottingham?’ ”

He says that his parents were no pushovers when he was younger and his dad refused to let him play Grand Theft Auto 5, even though his friends were allowed. “He said: ‘It’s got strippers in; you murder in that game. You’re 12, you can’t look at that, I’m sorry.’ They were really on top of it because they understood [gaming] and they communicated with me about it. When it turned into a career, they said, ‘OK, it’s important. We get it.’ But they’d still make sure I didn’t stay in my room all day. I’d still have to walk the dogs and [we’d] have dinner as a family.”

Simons doesn’t know how his career will unfold. He’s also getting used to being recognised. “Walking through Brighton I can hear my name being whispered all around me. It was a big adjustment. I became a bit scared of people after being inside for a year [during the pandemic]. I forgot how big the world was beyond my screen, but I’m loving it now.”

TommyInnit Says . . . The Quote Book by Tom Simons, curated and edited by Wilbur Soot, is published by Quercus, £14.99

[inkdrinkerworld]

idk if you’ve ever seen my mad fat diary but finn reminds me so much of your james that it literally makes me SICK. if you’re interested, i implore you to think about james with a chubby and insecure reader where he basically has to spell it out that he likes them and then reaffirm it with his actions (brings you flowers, sweets, invites you to watch him play rugby, asks you to hang out with your friends). idk if you can work it in but there’s a line where the main character is like “you don’t have to kiss me because you feel sorry for me” and he responds like “i’m not kissing you because i feel sorry for you?? i’m kissing you because i want to” and that with james is so ajhhhhh

I haven’t seen it!!! Cw: insecure chubby!reader, negative self talk

James likes you. He’s liked you since you first transferred to his business class to make up credits for your semester.

He’s made it clear, in his mind, that he likes you by always saving you a seat next to him, and always having flowers on your desk every Monday.

You don’t seem to get it though.

You’re both in a ‘fight’ right now, James had asked you to come to his rugby game with his friends and you had asked him why he goes out of his way to be that nice to you.

“Because I like you,” he’d scratched his head when he said it. “I thought you realized that ages ago.”

You had shaken your head, “You don’t like me James, you think you do. I’m not your type.”

James had frowned after that, insisting you were wrong and you’d scoffed and said something about your being undesirable and James had left you standing in the hallway.

You haven’t answered his apologizing texts for leaving you in the hallway and not walking you back to your dorm.

Your brain hasn’t exactly caught up with the fact that James likes you. It feels unreal. James is fit, he’s got just about every girl on campus flocking to him. Him liking you feels like a cruel joke.

Still, you get off your bed and change into his rugby sweater and a pair of jeans and head to the pitch.

You reach there when they’re warming up and you can tell James is off. His runs aren’t as perfectly timed as they should be and his throws are short.

“James was worried you wouldn’t show.” Remus whispers as he and Sirius come to sit beside you.

You chew your lip and don’t tell them that you’d been thinking about staying home.

“He really does like you doll,” Sirius says and you roll your eyes.

“For now. It’s better for us if we just stay friends. He’ll find someone better to like soon enough.”

Remus tuts, “In James’ mind, there is no one better. He’ll wait for you forever, if that’s what it takes.”

Neither of them say anything after that and you’re left with your thoughts again.

You do like James. You’ve liked James before he started bringing you those flowers every Monday. You’ve liked him before he offered to walk you to your dorm one night and just always did it after that.

He’s easy to like, you come to realise, because he does everything with purpose but also like it’s second nature. Like being near you and making sure you get home safe is something he’s always done.

The game is scrappy and James’ team win by a messy touchdown. Even after the game he’s sulking so you walk down to the pitch to greet him.

“Hi Jamie,” you’re in front of him and even behind the helmet you can tell his eyes widen. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

James takes off his helmet and sets it on the turf. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to get upset, but you can’t speak about yourself like that to me.”

He closes some of the distance between you. “Did you really mean it? Do you really like me?”

James makes a pitying sound in the back of his throat as he hears how uncertain you sound. “Since you sat next to me wearing those silly socks with the bears on them.”

His hands are on your cheeks, cupping them gently. “You’re the most beautiful, kind, gentle, amazing, thoughtful person I’ve ever met. Of course I’d like you.” He confesses and you feel the pinpricks of tears in your eyes.

“I like you too James, but what if you change your mind? What if you find someone else to like this much?”

James scoffs. “There’s no one else. Only you.” His forehead presses against yours and his eyes close.

“You’re it for me,” he says and you gasp.

“James,” he cuts you off.

“I mean it.” He pulls away for a moment. “Can I kiss you now? You’re wearing that cheery lip balm that messes with me head.”

“You don’t have to kiss me because you feel sorry for me.“

James groans, long and drawn. “Baby, you gotta get that mess outta your head. I’m not kissing you because I feel sorry for you. I’ll never kiss you because I feel sorry for you. I’m kissing you because I like you, yeah?”

James waits for your soft, ‘yeah’ and then melds your lips together.

[linos-luna]

Dreams ☁️

Seungmin x Poc!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Just suggestive. groping. Kissing

(Reader is implied to be Black, indigenous Latina or Metiza Latina, Native American, or Indian)

———————————————————————

You sat at your desk while resting your head on your hand. You were thinking about your friend/coworker, Seungmin. He’s in the office next to yours with a connected wall. He’s amazing. So smart and handsome along with patient with you.

Sometimes it took you longer to figure things out and instead of mocking you or getting mad at you about it, he’s kind and explains it for you.

A coworker in your specific room was supposed to help train you but it seemed that she resented you and constantly degraded you for not understanding. It often left you anxious when going to work. But it was worth it when Seungmin would come into the room.

He’d often come in to talk with his friend that was also in the room with you. But he was always nice enough to chat with you too. Sometimes you go to his office to ask questions rather than ask the girl right behind you.

Earlier that day that girl and Seungmin’s friend were talking about an exam that you didn’t know about: the ‘Baby Bar’? You’ve never heard of it. You knew the bar exam was for law students but what was the ‘Baby Bar’?? A shorter test?

“The baby bar! You don’t know what that is?!” She laughed. “How don’t you know?”

“I-I just never heard of it…”

“Y/n, even I’ve heard about it! It’s the baby bar!” The friend said while really enunciating the words Baby Bar. “You really don’t get it??”

“I…”

“Y/n.”

You felt a hand on your shoulder: It was seungmin.

“The Baby Bar is a test like the Bar exam. But you don’t have to go to law school. He explained. “There’s other requirements but you won’t be qualified for certain things.”

“Oh… thanks seungmin…” you replied shyly while looking down.

The man only gave a look to the girl that torments you on the daily which made her go back to working on her computer.

He waved bye to you before walking back to his room.

So now here you were. An hour later, thinking about this man.

But he has a girlfriend. You’ve met her once and she’s very nice. You’re the same star sign as her and you both have similar personalities. She’s shy but sweet. But even if he didn’t have her, you felt like he’d never go out with you.

The biggest difference was appearance. In that regard, she’s nothing like you. He seemed to have a type when seeing his past ex. Preferences that you didn’t fit. Having a race preference isn’t inherently good but you felt he had one. You were brown, dark thick hair, and definitely a different body shape. Sometimes you felt like a giant next to his girlfriend.

You sighed. If only you could be like her…

However you were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard your name.

“Hey y/n!”

You looked up, realizing that it was him.

“Oh, hi.”

“Can I talk to you for a minute.” He asked while standing in front of your desk.

“Um… yeah…”

“Y/n, do you like me?” He asked bluntly.

“W-what…?”

“You like me right? Like… have a crush?”

“Well yes—… but no… um…” You were blushing, unsure of what was happening. “I know you have a girlfriend so—… you shouldn’t worry about… it’s just a little crush…”

“I mean… I like you too.”

“But you have a girlfriend. I-I’d never do that to her…” you said nervously while standing up. “I know what it’s like to have someone else—”

“We broke up…” he said casually.

“Oh I’m sorry to hear…”

“Don’t be. She cheated on me.” He said with a sigh.

“I’ve always had a little crush on you though…” he said with a shrug. “I just never knew how to tell you.”

“Seungmin…”

“Would you like to hang out after work? There’s a new coffee shop that opened nearby.”

You were in shock. Was this actually happening?? Must be a dream right??

~~~

A few hours later and for find yourself at said coffee shop with Seungmin. It was a small place with not many people there.

You sipped on your drink as he talked to you. Only watching him and how handsome he is.

“Hey, are you listening.” He chuckled.

“Oh yeah.” You blushed. “Sorry.”

Seungmin rubbed your hand and you tensed up and blushed.

“Y/n. I know you don’t believe it… but I think you’re very cute:”

“Oh… thank you…”

“Y/n…” he sighed while pushing your chin up with his fingers. “You really are beautiful. Please believe me…”

You look at him with a smile.

“You doubt yourself a lot… and let yourself get degraded by that bitch in your office.” He said while rubbing your cheek. “You’re worth so much more…”

“Thank you seungmin…”

“C’mon…” he stood while tugging your arm.

“Where are we going…?”

“To the car. I’ll drive you home.” He said with a smile.

You nodded and followed. He held your hand and led you to his car. The grey Tesla. The car you see every day at work. You always wondered how he could afford the expensive car when you both hold the same position and you definitely can’t afford it. Maybe he does something on the side. Who knows?

“Y/n…” seungmin leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek. “Can I kiss you more? Can I touch you?”

You blushed and nodded. You were surprised he remembered. A while back you went on an awful date where you had some unconsentual advances forced on you. He must’ve remembered that. It was actually sweet.

Seungmin gently kissed your lips while holding onto your side.

It was a magical feeling and you leaned forward to get more. His lips were soft and you wanted to get closer.

Seungmin noticed this and backed his seat up, giving you room to crawl over and sit on his lap.

He rubbed your sides and continued making out with you.

You couldn’t help grinding lightly on his lap and whining as he reached his hand under your shirt.

He gently kissed down your neck as he played with the material of your bra.

You wanted his lips on yours again and he did exactly that.

Seungmin lightly groped your breast and you sighed as you pulled away and looked at him with a smile.

“Are you happy, sweetheart?” He asked while pushing some hair away from your face.

“Mmhm.” You nodded before hugging him. Resting your head on his chest. His cologne smelled so good. You were so relaxed as he rubbed your back. This was perfect…

~~~

“Y/n… y/n!”

Your head shot up. Back at your desk? But how?

“Oh good you’re awake!”

You looked up, seeing Seungmin there nudging your shoulder.

“I thought I’d wake you up before you know who comes back from lunch.” He said with a shrug.

“What…?” You looked around confused. “How long have I been sleeping….?

“Maybe 20-30 minutes? Don’t worry. No one saw you.”

“Oh.. well thanks for waking me up…”

The man nodded and started to head out.

You sighed and rested your head on your hand. A dream. It was all a dream?? That sucks.

“Hey y/n.”

You perked up as he walked back over to you, in front of your desk.

“Can I talk to you for a minute…?”

———————————————————————

All my fics are implied to have poc readers in mind so that everyone can enjoy them. That’s why it’s always in the tags. I just hate when y/n is described in fics to have specific non poc features. It makes ppl feel left out.

This fic in particular mentions race a little more directly so that’s why it says “x poc!Fem!Reader”

This is literally a dream I had with my crush that I’ve mentioned multiple times and sometimes I wonder these things like race since from what I’ve seen he’s only ever dated a specific race.

Also, the conversation about fhe “Baby Bar” did actually happen at work the way it played out here.

(Oh yeah that’s my actual work desk in the photo 😅)

[suzie-shooter]

Screaming Meals - Le Mans commentary highlights 10.06.23

 J: It's quarter to three, race is due to start at three o'clock. Obviously, you know, told Marcus to get here at two. C: Still not here.

J: I think the Cadillacs should have a good race. I mean it broke down in qualifying yesterday, it couldn't manage to do 45 minutes and now it's got to do 24 hours.

C: Roland Garros, women's finals, at the moment. J: Who's in that? C: Swiatek and [...] I don't know the other person. J: I went to school with someone called Swiatek. [...] But he was called Matthew so it's probably not him.

C: Why am I eating? Bit of a rough morning really. J: To say the least. Clem's parked up on struggle street.

C: Hoping for a moist affair.

C: Damn, my ramen's going to go everywhere. J: Ramen's going to be great ASMR as well, slopping and slurping everywhere like some kind of deranged ignoramus.

J: "What were Marcus' thoughts on James' last stream?" I think he quite liked it - I don't think he watched it 'cause he was racing so I don't know if he has too many thoughts on that stream. Nothing really happened, and yeah from his point of view he was a bit busy, so...

C: "Did Marcus like the Detroit track?" J: He loved it actually. C: D'you know what, you can ask him when he arrives, but, fucking, probably won't arrive. J: He's not officially late for another seven minutes.

C: So James is doing a 24 hour stream. J: I'm not.

C: Great mouthfeel. If I could paint a picture with words for ya,  it's ah, it's really good. J: I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have a real career waiting for you in food blogs.

C: I'm gonna take a couple of the old chillies out there. J: What an absolute - front cartilage. C: No, listen, I'm a backbone. Oh! Front cartilage, that's the opposite of a backbone. J: There you go, well done.

C: Loving the shorts too. J: Thank you. They were on sale. In 2014. C: Where'd you get those? J: I believe these are Billabong actually? C: Billabong? I didnt take you for a surfer. J: Yeah, I actually, I thought about learning surfing in September of 2017 and then quite quickly had the realisation that I was due to move to London in 2 months and it would be absolutely pointless.

J: [Marcus has] let us down, he's let himself down,  but more importantly - C: He's shaving his legs. J: He's let you guys down.

J: Let's see if Bourdais fucks it. C: That's not very nice James.

J: I'd love to see a replay of it, 'cause it was actually quite funny [...] oh it'd really tear your undies, on lap one of Le Mans, to put it in the wall like that.

C: Yeah, no, Dyson Airwrap, allows me to really straighten my hair in the mornings there and, er, allow me to have a bit more of a - bit more control.   J: Control's important. Just tell that to Jack Aitken.  

C: We've just got a slight issue really, getting new guests on. J: Yeah, no one seems to be keen. C: No one seems to be keen  these days. J: I'm not sure what's happened...

J: I left for Monaco, and I packed two hats and I returned with four. And I didn't even buy one.

C: Not only is it absolutely massive but it's also bent. (Alain Prost's nose)

C: Shall we give Marcus a call, see what he's up to? [...] Yes mate, you've got 750 people waiting for you to arrive, but you seem to be 40 minutes late [...] ah, fuck him. *hangs up*

C: Thing is, we promised Marcus and he's just not quite delivered. J: Yeah...I feel sorry for the woman who ends up with him.

C: A lot of people asking whether I should be sitting their Business A Levels - I actually participated - partake - ah - partook in the business exam a couple of years ago. J: Must have done well in your English one as well.

J: As an organisation, two thirds of us - well, three quarters with Rory - do care about you, the fans. Marcus is a scoundrel and a traitor. C: He's a sort of a Han Solo character. J: What, he gets it on with his sister? C: Yes James. J: I'm not accusing anyone of anything there. I regret I said that actually, but I've said it now.  Okay, so they're saying I was wrong there. C: You've fucked it up again.

J: I'm thinking that we're gonna need to reach out to the Serbian star and maybe start some kind of merch line: Novalak Djokovic.

J: So hot as well. Turned himself into a real DILF actually, Dan Carter. C: Absolute DILF. Dan Carter. Who's the biggest DILF for you? J: Ah what, just full stop, or in a certain area, or field? C: Full stop. J: It's probably got to be, um, Ryan Reynolds. C: Yeah, I was going to go with Ryan Reynolds. J: Yeah, he's a total DILF. C: Toto Wolff, in the comments. J: I feel like he'd be pretty boring in the sack. Patrick Dempsey, I mean you want to talk about hot old dudes and Le Mans, he's obviously got this team racing here.

J: Kimi Raikkonen there getting an honourable mention for, I'm assuming the DILF chat. C: Ah Kimi - pretty -  I mean -  probably not a - I wouldn't say he's a very vocal lover. J: Nah , he'd be a very silent lover. He'd be - I mean similar to Formula 1 media he'd communicate only in grunts and groans I believe. Very monotonous in his delivery of his love.

C: "Josef Newgarden qualifies as a DILF now." J: He does technically qualify as a DILF if - if he floats your boat, and you know, just speaking for myself there he's certainly floating mine.

J: I'm sure somebody knows what's going on here but it's not us. C: I've got no fucking idea.

(Screaming Meals technical gremlins make an appearance, giving us a brief glimpse of their kitchen)

J: Fixed! Fixed! How good! Just like the Formula 2 championship. C: I'm distancing myself so far away from that comment.

J: Where were we? I think we were talking about DILFs? C: Tom Hardy. DILF? J: Yeah, he's actually not my flavour of crisps to be honest, actually, Tom Hardy. He's quite short. I mean, you know, I'm not on the market, I'm just saying. C: You never cease to amaze me.

C: "Marcus being a male bimbo again." J: That would imply that at some stage he's actually stoppped being - 'cause you've said again - that implies that he's stopped being a male bimbo, whereas he's not.

J: "Marcus is Ken coded" - do you know what that means? C: Nope.

J: Clem's shades not quite dark enough to hide the fact that his eyes are now closed.

*Clem keels over sideways* J: Seem to have momentarily lost Clement Novalak, but I'm sure he will return.

J: 4.09 arrival predicted from Marcus Armstrong. C: Which is currently another 15 minutes. J: That's actually bang on 69 minutes late from Marcus Armstrong, you'd expect nothing less to be perfectly frank.

C: "Take a shot each time Clem yawns" - you're gonna be dead.

C: You're looking pretty moist.

C: Max Fewtrell. Doing the cooking. Probably doing a stream on cooking. J: Caged in his gimp suit on a leash.

J: I've been getting vastly mixed reviews on my long locks. C: It sort of looks a bit pubey at the back. J: Ally hates it. Ally fucking hates it. Which is why I'm keeping it.

C: First time he's actually text me since - hold on hold on - 17th May. J: There's a text string of Clem - I hope you don't mind me exposing this - there's three texts in a row from Clem to Fewtrell going - "Brother, I have an idea, a good one too" and he's just blanked him, he's not replied. Wise man. When Clement Novalak texts you to say he's got a good idea, don't fuckin' respond.

J: It really gets deep inside my goat. C: You do have a nice goat.

J [talking about buzzcuts]: Do you think it has like the same effect as like your downstairs, where it makes it look much bigger? C: I wouldn't want to have a massive head. J: Yeah exactly, that's what I'm thinking. C: 'Cause then it would make my massive honker look even larger. J: Yeah, no you don't want that. I can't afford my honker to look much bigger. I'm talking about my nose.

J: You do a good impression of a whipcrack actually. C: I just spat all over myself. J: Tune into Screaming Meals and watch two guys spit all over each other.

C: If I get a Pret [coffee] I'm gonna throw my phone out the window. J: Actually no you shouldn't do that it might kill someone. We're 28 floors up.

J: Actually I'm going to put the shot glasses in the freezer. Do you think I should put one in for his - his friend as well - do you think she's with him?

J: Yes it is a massive bottle of Corona, your eyes aren't deceiving you, Clem's not actually that small.

J: Is that our doorbell? I've never heard that before.

J: I had dinner with Marcus and a friend of his yesterday - can't remember her name - and he was still trying to insist that he's 6 ft tall.

J: "James show us the snazzy shorts you're wearing"

M: How are ya? C: You're three minutes late so that's  three shots. J: No, no, no you're an hour and thirteen minutes late.

M: How are you feeling? C: Pretty rooted. Where are we going tonight?

M: I'm not having any shots. I'm not drinking today. I've got to do some stuff later.

C: You disappoint me. M: I know. C: Every day. M: Yeah, I know.

J: My back is absolutely destroyed from carrying this shit. C: Yeah James, you do carry.

C: Marcus? M: Yo. J: Where do you stand on DILFs?

J: Up in the hypercar field it's been real bumper to bumper. C: C&B, bumper to bumper. J: Is C&B meaning what I think it means?

J: I hate to be fussy but could you two bastards move over a bit? C: I need to lie back and have a wee sleep.

M: Did you tell them we did a pod yesterday? J: No. M: Were we keeping that a secret? J: Yeah, we were.

M: Is this slaving away? I can't think of anything better than sitting back, watching the race, feet up on the table. C: No, get your grippers out! M: Oh the grippers are out by the way everyone. C: Disgusting, piece of filth. J: [...] five minutes, and it's underwear off, shoes off, grease in the hair.

J: "Marcus is raw-dogging his shoes" - yes!

M: By the way I have actually - I've started washing my hair everyone. You'll find out in the pod. C: And wearing deoderant. M: And wearing deoderant as well. C: And do you know what, you look better and I'm starting to think that - M: I am better. J: You might even just taste better. C: Pfffff what the fuck?? J: I was just going with the senses there. You said look, the obvious next choice was taste.

M: When we went to Long Beach weren't we meant to do an intro video? J: We wanted to do something like that, but we did run out of time because we were being cancelled and you had an indycar race to do.

M: Do you still have this as your background? J: HoyteyJ and Minougey? Hoytey. C: You've taken Hoytey off yours M: I've had to change mine. C: Yeah, I know why. J: What is it now? M: It's a dog. J: Well that's a bit rude. C: That's a bit rude. *James screams* M: It's literally like - no - it's a labrador, it's literally a little baby labrador, no! C: Oh shit yeah [chat's] just gone off. M: Come on!

C: I don't have a CV. I arrive, I say - Clement Novalak, enchante.

J: What? M: Heart rate J: Is 34? M: Yes. J: Are you alive? M: When I'm sleeping it dips down. J: When you're asleep your heart rate is 34? M: Yes. My Oura ring stops counting when it goes under 33. J: Does it assume you're dead?

C: It was the first night I had redbull vodka in about six months [...] I was doing a long distance run mate, in my bed. J: Don't need to know any more details than that.

C: Can you fucking - leave your grippers away from my grippers? J: Yeah, that's quite aggressive. C: With that fucking massive toenail. M: I just wanna play footsie [...] yeah, we're playing footsies everybody.

J: Imagine having the audacity to leave people waiting an hour and a quarter, and then just being on your phone.

M: Clem are you okay mate? Good.

J: Fuckin' hell, you selling tickets there mate? M: Gun show there. J: Watch Marcus now get competitive and not be able to resist getting his guns out.

J: What's going to run out first, our countdown to 22 hours, or the iPad battery? That might be the most interesting battle we've got going on here.

J: Thanks so much for sticking with us for the last couple of hours [...] we don't know anything that's going on in the race and we've made almost no effort to find out.

[linniewrites]

3:25 ; “why aren’t you sleeping ?”

Meliodas x f!goddess!reader

wc: 821

The night was dark. And yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to fall asleep. You had heard a conversation in the hallways earlier, and it had been stuck on your mind ever since. “Demons are so scary…” One had whispered to her friend. And she had answered, just as frightened, “I heard some of them have tricked humans into befriending them to kill them.” A third girl had joined in, but she didn’t seem afraid, she was disappointed by her friends, and by the humans. “That’s because humans are idiots. Who in their right mind could possibly believe that a demon would wanna talk to anyone else that isn’t a member of their race ?”

You felt the tears start to come up and threaten to spill and stain your cheeks. Was what they were saying true ? Did people truly find joy in making others suffer ? A sob broke through your mouth when one question found its place on your head. Is that what happened with Meliodas ? You ran, but it wasn’t fast enough, so you flew all the way to your apartments and locked yourself in your room to sob the sadness away. Now, a few hours later, you couldn’t fall asleep. So you decided to go outside for air. Elizabeth and your other fiends would scold you if they heard about it, but it was the only thing left to do. Your body unconsciously took you to the usual place where your meetings with your friend took place. You only realized where you were when your feet settled on the grass. You stayed there for a few minutes or maybe a few hours, you couldn’t really tell. Your head only raised when you heard a soft voice whisper your name, unsure of if it was really you in front of them. Your eyes met deep, black ones, who soon turned to their bright emerald. The cries you had succeeded in stopping came back up, surprising the demon. He leaped toward you, and delicately put his hands on your shoulders.

“Are you okay ? Why aren’t you sleeping ?” Your sobs got louder, and this time you pushed him away, making him fall on his back.

“Don’t do that ! Why’re you pretending like you care ? Shouldn’t you be hanging out with some other goddess, or maybe a fairy would do too right ?”

“What are you talking about ? I couldn’t sleep, so I came outside for air, that’s it.”

“Then go ! Go to fucking sleep, I don’t care ! Just leave me alone !”

“Okay, why’re you acting like this ? I didn’t do anything wrong ?” He tried to get closer to you to calm you down, but he stopped when you started pulling away from him. You laughed bitterly and jabbed your fingers on your temple.

“You think I’m so dumb, you think anyone that’s not a demon is dumb. But I’m not, and I don’t want to be friends with someone so mean.”

“What ? I don’t think you’re dumb, I think you’re the smartest person I know. And you’re also the nicest, so why are you being so rude ?”

“You really think I wouldn’t figure it out ? People talk you know ? I heard them say that demons have this habit of becoming friends with people just to kill them.”

“___, you really think I’d do that ?”

“The first time we met you tried to kill me, and then you were just, so willing to be my friend ! What happened that made you change your mind ?” You raised your voice at him once more, but you didn’t yell, you just sounded infuriated.

“I thought you were right. I knew that the way goddesses see us isn’t the way we are, so I figured it was the same for you.” He blushed and his voice got so quiet it was almost inaudible. “And you seemed like you didn’t mean any harm.”

“You thought I looked nice ? And that’s why you were listening to me ? After killing thousands of goddesses ?” He flinched at your last question, but then spoke up, defeated.

“I got home after meeting you and realized no one had ever cared for my vision of things. You were the first one… the first one that seemed to care about what I really had to say.” You stopped breathing for a moment, but when you started again, you started wailing. Your first real friend, the first one that wasn’t forced by your mother to remain by your side, you had tried to get rid of them. Soon, you felt strong arms embracing you, so you snuggled closer to Meliodas’ chest and wrapped your arms around his waist. His right hand found its place on the back of your head, and started combing through your hair to calm you down.

[landofzero-archive]

Hiyori Tomoe - Games With Old Friends

Writer: Suika

Season: Winter

(Location: Starmony Dorms Common Room)

Hiyori: Hm? Nagisa-kun, what are you doing over there?

Nagisa: …… I’m looking at the tabletop games on this shelf.

…… I got interested after listening to Yuuta-kun’s circle talk about it a little while back.

Hiyori: Ah, you’re talking about the ASOBI club? I’ve heard Jun-kun talk about it sometimes.

Since they left them in this common room, it means that anyone can play with these tabletop games, doesn’t it?

Nagisa: …… It seems to be what Yuuta-kun’s group intended by leaving them here.

Hiyori: In that case, Nagisa-kun, let’s play together! I just happen to be free right now!

Nagisa: …… Fufu, thank you Hiyori-kun. However, there’s a small problem.

Hiyori: What problem?

Nagisa: …… You need three or more players to play the games put out here. There’re not many games we can play with, since it’s just Hiyori-kun and I right now.

Hiyori: Then it’s just a matter of calling up someone else! I’ll contact Jun-kun immediately……

Is what I thought I’d do, but I think he’s away for a photoshoot today?

Nagisa: …… Mm. It seems that Ibara also has a pre scheduled meeting in ES today.

Hiyori: Well, since it’s work it can’t be helped. We’ll get them to hang out when they’re back.

Tsumugi: Oh my. What are you two doing with all those things spread out on the table?

Hiyori: Tsumugi-kun as well as Eichi-kun, you’ve come at an excellent time! We’re just looking for people with time to spare♪

Eichi: Hiyori-kun, even if this is a shared open space, you shouldn’t leave things all scattered about like that.

Hiyori: How rude! I haven’t made a mess!

Nagisa: …… I planned to play some games here with Hiyori-kun, but we’re a bit troubled since we don’t have enough people. 

…… Do you two have any plans after this? If you’d like, how about playing together?

Eichi: Thank you for the invitation. However, I only meant to rest here for a bit before going back to work. Tsumugi is the same way too, right?

Tsumugi: Yes, but I’m okay with it.

I had some sudden work earlier today, but I somehow managed to finish it all by mid-morning.

I’ve just been working for a while, so this would be a nice change of pace♪

Hiyori: Fufu, then let’s play together, Tsumugi-kun. Look, come over here.

Nagisa: ……. What about you, Eichi-kun? If you’re busy with work, I won’t force you.

…… Yuta-kun said games are a lot more fun when there are more people to play with.

Eichi: …… Well, as Tsumugi-kun said, a little bit of it could be a nice change of pace.

Hiyori: You could have just earnestly said that you wanted to play.

Eichi: This and that are…… So this is a balancing game where you take away wooden blocks from the board, and the person who drops the board loses.

Nagisa: …… I know about the game where you put things down in turns, but for this one, you have to take them away, I see.

Tsumugi: It seems that what I heard about this game is true; this game needs quite a bit of preparation. I can’t seem to balance them on the board.

…… There. It seems that we managed to have the wooden blocks balanced on the board. Should we decide on the playing order now?

(Slight time skip)

Hiyori: Ahaha. The board fell down when it’s Eichi-kun’s turn, so this means it’s Eichi-kun’s loss.

Eichi: That move ruined the balance. It seems I miscalculated.

Nagisa: …… You need to consider the distance between the wooden blocks and the fulcrum, the shape and arrangement of the wooden blocks still left behind, before making the choice of which wooden block to take. This seems to be a game that requires one to use their head a lot more than I imagined.

Tsumugi: Yeah. The board tilts a lot whenever you take away a wooden block, so it makes my heart beat rapidly every single time.

Eichi: Yes. I’ve got a firm grasp on the balance between the wooden blocks and the board. Well then, shall we play again?

Hiyori: Hey, Tsumugi-kun. Is this small box another game we can play together?

Tsumugi: Yes. That’s a game where each player has to bring back treasure from the depths of the sea.The final rankings would be decided on the points of the treasures brought back.

It seems that since everyone is sharing the same oxygen tank, if even one person messes up, he will end up dragging everyone down and it’ll be game over.

Hiyori: So he said. It sounds a little difficult for someone greedy like you, right, Eichi-kun?

Eichi: That’s my line. If it’s a game that tests cooperation, wouldn’t it be a bad fit for Hiyori-kun?

Tsumugi: You two, let’s get along~

Eichi: Well then, do you want to play that game next?

Hiyori: Since we have so many games here, I thought it’ll be more fun if we play with a variety of them.

Nagisa: ………

Hiyori: Could it be that you already know this game, Nagisa-kun? Is there any other game you want to play?

Nagisa: …… No, that’s not it. I think I want to try playing this game too.

…… Sorry, I really enjoyed the balance game from just now, I wanted to play it one more time.

Hiyori: What, if that’s the case, you should have said that faster! Come on, Tsumugi-kun. Let’s get that game from earlier prepared one more time!

Tsumugi: Fufu, knowing that Nagisa-kun is enjoying it is making me happy too.

This is the game that Sora had told me he enjoyed♪ I’ll get it set up now.

Eichi: Ha…… You guys really are so free.

Hiyori: Good for you, Eichi-kun. You got your chance to get revenge on us.

Well, I’ll win the next round though♪

Eichi: …… Fufu, thank you. I’m looking forward to outwit Hiyori-kun starting from now♪

Don’t throw an unsightly tantrum just because you lost to me, okay?

<About one hour later>

(Location: Starmony Dorms Common Room (Evening))

Hiyori: Ahaha! You can have a lot of fun with commonfolk games too!

Nagisa: …… Mm. They have a charm that is completely different from chess and the likes. All the tabletop games were brimming with humour and were deeply interesting.

Eichi: Though, it takes up a lot more time than expected.

Tsumugi: I’m sorry, Eichi-kun. Everyone had so much fun, that I even lost track of time on when to stop playing.

Eichi: No, you don’t have to apologise, Tsumugi. I accompanied you for this long because I enjoyed myself too.

Hiyori: Mmhm. You should thank Nagisa-kun and I; who had invited you!

Eichi: I don’t really feel like thanking Hiyori-kun.

Hiyori: We’ve played quite a bit, but there are a few that we haven’t tried yet. We really can’t not call Jun-kun to come with us the next time we play.

Nagisa: ……I’ll try asking Ibara too.

Tsumugi: Seems like it’ll be a huge group. Then, I’ll ask Sora-kun if there is a game that can be enjoyed together by a lot of people.

Can I join you again when the time comes?

Hiyori: Of course. Better yet, let’s hold a game tournament in Starmony Dorms. That’ll be good weather……☆

Nagisa: …… Each individual has their own style of thinking. Rather than playing with just one person all the time, playing with a lot of people might serve to widen your range of strategy.

Eichi: I see. It’s a good idea for something like recreation.

It might be a good idea to take videos of idols on their days off to distribute them.

It just so happens that I was in the middle of formulating the details of my next project. I thought I should connect this to the plan.

Hiyori: Eichi-kun always likes to fill the gap in his free time with work. That’s just like Ibara.

But, I’ll forgive you. When the time comes, make sure to capture my gallant figure in the video♪

---

TL NOTES:

A nice little easter egg in the title; the title has a kanji in reference to the ‘ex’ in ex-fine. However, since ‘ex-friends’ does not entirely convey the dynamic between these characters, Mod decided to go with ‘old friends’.

Mod went on a little rabbit hole of tabletop games categorization on the internet due to this story. The games played in this story seem to be Bamboleo and Deep Sea Adventure.

[cookinguptales]

Y’know, I think one of the most refreshing things for me in WWDITS s4 has been the categorical refusal to turn Nadja into a mommy. It would have been so, so easy to do it and I think most shows would’ve.

I mean, how many times have we seen it, both IRL and on tv? A baby shows up, someone needs to take care of it, the only woman around goes into mommy mode because ~that’s just what women do~ and it’s what they’re expected to do. I was fully expecting Laszlo to adopt Baby Colin and for Nadja to end up coparenting with him. She’s his wife, after all.

But then that absolutely did not happen. If anything, I think I’d go so far as to say that she’s the least maternal and/or paternal person in the building. It’s not that she hates children or anything; she’s just physically incapable of telling one apart from a raccoon. Which is also nice. Some writers are so bad at writing women with complex desires that any woman who doesn’t want to be a mother is automatically turned into some unfair “baby-hating harpy” stereotype.

Laszlo has taken this child under his wing and loves him, even if he’s not always the best father. Guillermo also loves Colin, and though he’s not his father, he’s probably the most paternal (and probably also maternal) out of any of the people there. (And I feel like they’re also breaking down stereotypes about what it means to be paternal vs. maternal but that’s a whole separate essay.) Nandor is at least willing to hang out with the boy and has displayed highly paternal instincts in previous episodes.  But literally Nadja’s only interest in Baby Colin is how she can make money off of him, and that’s so valid. lmao

It’s especially nice because Nadja clearly does value family. It seems to be one of her primary drives, in fact. She brings up her family more than any other character, even though they’ve all been dead for hundreds of years, she’s more than willing to defend her (again, deceased) family’s honor, and it’s what finally started to break down barriers between her and Guillermo. Nadja very much values family. She just does not want to be a mother.

She does not want Guillermo to see her as a mother figure. She wants no part in parenting Baby Colin. She displays the maternal instincts of your average old boot. Nadja is not a mommy. 

And the show never once judges her for that.

(I mean, Guillermo might, but he has his own issues. lmao)

There has never been an episode where her not caring for Colin has upset him. There has never been an episode where he’s been harmed because she’s not providing him with affection. The narrative has never once punished her for her total disinterest in the care and raising of the creature that crawled out of the body of their dead friend. There has never been any expectation that she’d take care of Colin.

The closest we’ve gotten to that was probably Guillermo complaining that none of the vampires know anything about Colin and that it’s fallen solely on him, the “nanny”, to care for him. But that seemed like an equal indictment of all the vampires and seemed kind of wrapped up in Guillermo’s own abandonment issues.

What I’m getting at here is that Nadja has never been expected to put in more work with Colin because of her gender or because her husband was the person who decided to adopt the Colin child. She’s never been expected to parent him, she’s never been expected to be maternal towards him, she’s never been expected to shift around her life plans for him. She’s just happily embezzling from her own nightclub like the insane vampiric boss she is.

And boyyyyy I love that for her. It’s so rare and so refreshing and I love this show so much.

[shadamyheadcanons]

It’s kinda cute to see that Bark has a canonical crush on Amy (in the newest comic if you haven’t seen). She’s such a magnet for the stoic, hardy, initially antagonistic types lol. How do you think Shadow would feel to know that Bark was crushing on Amy before anyone else?

In reference to this interaction in IDW’s recent comic for her 30th anniversary:

It was also made apparent in Sonic’s 30th anniversary comic:

Looks like IDW took a cue from Archie and re-canonized Amy’s tendency to get cold easily. Sonic never took the hint...

...but it’s free real estate for other Amy ships. A+.

The bigger question is why a polar bear needs a scarf in the first place. Maybe I’m not supposed to ask that.

Anyway, I wouldn’t say it’s 100% confirmed that it’s a crush. No one ever says it is. He might just think she’s a sweet little girl. Panels like these make it seem like he just thinks she’s a nice kid, like a little sister. You could easily substitute Knuckles in for Bark here:

Blushing is usually used to indicate a crush, but not always. It can also be used to show embarrassment. I personally think he’s just shy because he’s not used to being hugged and hearing things like this:

It’s not surprising that Bark has a soft spot for her. He’s very strong and hangs out with Fang’s group, so a lot of people assume the worst. On top of that, he’s nonverbal, so he can’t really argue against it. She’s the only one who gives him a chance off the bat.

It’s also more appropriate if it’s not romantic, given their implied age gap. I’m glad Sega removed the official ages, but even without exact numbers, I’d be very surprised if an official Sonic publication made an older teenager have a crush on a child. If they did, I think Shadow would hunt him down, lol. I have a headcanon about him going after Storm about it, but Storm actively makes himself a problem. Bark isn’t like that.

Even if another stoic and quiet character developed a crush on Amy, though, I don’t think Shadow would be jealous. I usually imagine Shadow hiding his feelings for Amy, and this is the same situation. He doesn’t act on it. At most, I could see them exchanging a subtle nod of acknowledgement.

They’d just both have good taste. Shadow might have to get used to it, but after that, I doubt he would see a character like that as a “problem.”

Shadow also might just flat-out appreciate Bark. It’s always a relief to have someone else who makes her safety a priority. Even when Bark and Amy “fight,” he outright refuses to hurt her:

(In case anyone needs more evidence that blushing isn’t always romantic in this comic, Amy’s blushing right there in panel three. Something tells me she probably doesn’t see this as a romantic situation.)

And when they’re on the same team, he keeps an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t rush into danger and get out of her depth:

I made a post recently pointing out that Shadow might have helped Amy out in Cryptic Castle because he also notices she rushes into situations she can’t handle alone. She’s a danger magnet whose first ever appearance was getting kidnapped, and it was a long time before that stopped happening. We need more characters who’ll keep an eye on her. I can imagine Shadow and Bark pointing to situations like these and looking at each other as if to say, “Ah, so you’re the reason she made it to adulthood unscathed.” They’d see each other as allies, not competition.