#And if you can get that just from my into post not including the sensory issues like texture and sound and focus problems then what will a

[sunny-m00n]

heyy, just reading your intro post it kinda seems like you might have adhd and/or autism (as someone who has both myself and knows many people who have one or both), if i were you i'd check out some symptoms and find people talking about what it's like to have them to see if you can relate, might help understand a bit about how your brain works, and even if you don't think you have either it might help find ways to deal with life and your brain a little easier cause you clearly have some similar symptoms

funny you say this now, I’m actually going to the doctors on Thursday to check- my friends keep saying I probably have both and my therapist has started agreeing- I’m kinda scared in case I do have one or both, but excited to have something to call it besides “my brain being weird” (plus maybe accommodations?) so wish me luck? Lol

[koenigsbleachedshirt]

How the CoD men would fuck you 🫵🏻

Including: König, Ghost, Keegan, Krueger, Nikto x reader (can be read as neutral)

Contains: dacryphilia, size kink, belly bulge, riding, bondage, sensory deprivation, impact play, face fucking, face-sitting, knife play, marking, blood play

(Nikto's is a bit on the extreme side, so be warned)

And don't call me out!!! I know my favorites show!!!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

König

is the type to make you ride him

guides you by your hips, slow and deep

if you're not riding him, he definitely loves taking you in missionary..... he loves seeing the bulge on your belly

loves leaving his handprints on your skin from gripping you so hard

definitely gets off on your height difference, loves manhandling the fuck out of you - expect to be thrown and bent without warning

Ghost

always so rough with you- he doesn't hide how much he wants you, he's unfiltered and unapologetic with what he does

will make you sit on his face, no matter how much you protest and whine about it... he WILL eat you out, no matter what - and he does it like a starved man

the type to fuck you in full nelson, or just crushing you under him mercilessly as he burrows his thick cock into you

definitely has a thing for pounding you senseless- has you drooling within MINUTES

will also definitely degrade the shit out of you- but in the "look at my cute little cocksleeve, takin' me so well." kinda way

Keegan

devil in disguise. This motherfucker will tie you up and have his way with you until you physically can't take it anymore

will tie your hands to the bed posts and go down on you until you beg for him to stop- he also definitely busted a load while you did

loves leaving hickeys on your thighs, tummy, and chest - only for him to admire

definitely praises the living daylights out of you to somewhat make up for the relentless teasing you suffer under him

ALSO,, he loves using toys on you. He will hold a vibrator on you or fuck it into you, watching your expressions as he does.... only to deny you your orgasm

Krueger

he's such a little shit..... he's the type to rough you up, get you naked, and then have you suck him off - he's not exactly the gentlest either, he WILL fuck your face, hands in your hair and all

he definitely gets off on seeing your tear-streaked face from when he shoved his cock down your throat a little too far and made you gag

other than that, he also loves to manhandle you around. His favorite positions are definitely doggy, reverse cowgirl, and missionary. He WILL leave his marks on you. Everywhere.

have i mentioned that he loves degrading you and making you cry? Because he will. And if it isn't from his cruel words, then it's definitely from his unforgiving, hard, deep thrusts. He doesn't go fast, no no no... he goes SO DAMN SLOW it's maddening.

also the type to make sure that when he cums, it's in his favorite, tight little hole ;)

Nikto

depending on his mood, he's either the sweetest or the meanest. No in-between. Either you'll cry because it's too much, or you'll cry because it's not enough.

the type to carve his initials into your skin, dip his fingers in your blood, and feed it to you, only to lean in and shove his greedy tongue into your mouth - eager to get a taste of you

he will fuck you either hard and fast, or deep and slow... and you won't get away. He will cage you in and make you take it.

the type to make you cum so many times you're a babbling, brainless mess- molded to the shape of him... or he will deny you so many times you cry and beg for it, but once he gives you what you want, don't expect him to stop until HE is satisfied

he WILL go down on you after he finished - wanting to taste what he made of you...

[citrineandrosmarin]

Intuitive Free Writing

(Decided to make this its own post.)

Free Writing is a method of journaling but can also be used to communicate with entities such as deities. It can also help to develop your clairs. It's pretty simple to do and you can also do it via typing or probably even voice recording if those are more accessible for you. It involves writing your stream of consciousness without worrying about grammar or spelling.

Here is how you can do it:

Grab a notebook or whatever you are going to write/type with. Include a timer if you want to set a time limit.

Set up in a space where you will not be interrupted and have nothing distracting you. It can be quiet or with instrumental music (avoid music with lyrics unless you want to see if certain lyrics pop out to you).

Make an offering (optional) and pray to/invite the deity you want to speak to.You can use a divination tool to confirm their presence if you wish.

Ground and center yourself in the present. You want to get into a receptive, meditative state or as close to it as you are able to have.

Start writing. I usually start with something intentional to get the ball rolling such as "I am listening" or whatever just to get my hands moving.

Write everything that comes to mind or into your awareness - and do not try to control any of it or make judgements about it. You are just receiving right now. Don't worry about spelling or grammar or anything like that. If you smell chocolate then write that down. If you feel dumb doing this then write it down. If your mind is blank then write what you hear or smell or see or just write that your mind is blank.

You may notice in the moment that some things feel different or are definitely not your own thoughts. It may be easy to know what is your deity's message or it may not. If you do notice/feel something then you can write it down or make a little note with a symbol like a * or just be aware of it and continue.

Stop when the timer goes off or when it feels right or when your deity has delivered their message. Thank them.

Read over what you have written. I like to use highlighters here: one color for what was definitely my own thoughts and another for what I am certain is from the deity. You can also have a color for sensory observations, or wherever you're uncertain about where the thought or image comes from, or if you notice something that may be more towards the shadow work side of things or negative thoughts, etc.

Make a note on your experience. How did you feel? Did you sense any energies? Did you feel something different when you were getting down certain words? Reflect a bit on the experience.

If you want you can copy the results into a neater or summarised format then do so! If you have messy handwriting and some words are a mess then go in and make it clearer what the word is. You may look back months later and you don't want to be confused what word that one scribble is supposed to be! I have two journals, one to do this exercise in and one woth the neater notes and summaries.

It may take time to get comfortable doing this and to develop discernment but I've found it very helpful personally!

[nothorses]

So I'm thinking of going on low dose T, and ofc I'll get more feedback from doctors when I see them, but I know one of the changes is that you run warmer and have lower heat tolerance, and I'm already kind of heat sensitive (sweating is a sensory ick). Do you or your followers have any kind of coping strategies that have helped with that?

I ran warm before, too, and I'm definitely warmer now! I also have Raynaud's which kind of makes the whole experience a clusterfuck, but that's besides the point. lmao.

I live in a pretty cool/temperate area, so it isn't normally an issue except in the (increasingly horrible) summers, but I've found that the hardest time to stay cool has been at night. I share a bed with my partner who runs even warmer, and it's been 2.5 years of struggling to figure out how to be a comfortable temperature together.

The best advice I can give you is to just stay as far away from synthetic fibers as you can; "sweat wicking" and "cooling" and "athletic" stuff included. It's a lie. They're all plastic, and while they might feel cool to the touch at first, plastic doesn't breathe. It'll trap heat and moisture against your skin after enough time, especially in the form of blankets. (Fuck the Rest Evercool. Worst recommendation I've ever gotten.)

Look for 100% linen, or 100% cotton. I've heard wool also works well, but I haven't had luck with that personally. Woven fabrics are going to be cooler and more breathable than sateen, and waffle weave is like, the single most breathable weave afaik (it's more common in blankets, but some clothes are waffle).

Some of these things can be pretty scratchy at first, and I recommend a couple of washes on a high heat & some fabric softener before you start using them. We were able to break in our waffle blanket super quickly this way! (I know some folks recommend against softener for breathability reasons, but it's the only thing that actually worked for us, and it hasn't impacted breathability). After you break them in, though, cotton and linen fabrics are SUPER soft!

I also recommend staying away from leather. It's natural, but trust me: it's not breathable. It's coveted in outdoor rec spaces BECAUSE it's somewhat waterproof.

Outside of that, I'd really encourage you to lean towards multiple light layers that you can change/remove throughout the day to suit your needs (ex: light tee + fleece + wind/rain layer, maybe throw in a flannel somewhere), instead of one or two heavy ones (ex: shirt + big puffy cold weather jacket). It's a strategy common in the PNW that works great for regulating your temperature when you're dealing with humidity and somewhat unpredictable weather, and imo, it also really translates if you're just generally sensitive to heat and sweat.

Outside of that... depending on where you live, I really recommend having an AC/dehumidifier. Don't bother with trying to rig up a swamp cooler if you're sensitive to sweat- the increased humidity will make things worse. The general advice I heard when researching a good AC was that window units will always be more efficient than portable units (and a mini split is better than either), but if you have to go with a portable unit, go with a dual-hose. They'll be more efficient just because they don't create a vacuum that pulls in warm air from outside. This is the model we settled on- it was really highly recommended and cost effective for what it is, and it's been absolutely fantastic this summer.

Idk how you are about pits, but I wash mine with a benzoyl body wash and then use a deodorant with antiperspirant every day, and I virtually never smell or sweat. 🤷‍♂️ ymmv though

I'm sure folks will have things to add, so check the notes on this post- and good luck!

[aleksiej]

does rottmnt donnie dislike touch?

i have rewatched all of rottmnt and am ending this debacle once and for all (at least for me lol)

based on the two seasons, the movie and the comics (tho the comics don't really bring anything to this conversation) i think i have the answer to one of the more controversial topics in this fandom

(no, it's not the yuichi vs usagi debate, usagi obviously wins that no sweat)

so, does donnie dislike touch?

in the series, he is shown being fairly touchy with his siblings throughout the series, with some exceptions i will try to list now, tho not with proper episode names as i am not looking them up, sorry not sorry:

pilot episode, captured by draxum in a cacoon with mikey he's visibly uncomfortable and tries to get away

mikey's solo mission, he doesn't look at any of the and in response to a hug he pats mikey's head with a metal arm from his battle shell.

glued together, he's showing visible discomfort at being forced into close (touching) proximity of his brothers, tho that discomfort is somewhat elevated when they do a second go-round after the sticky foam ball got crushed

that time splinter caught everyone in a trap hanging in the lair (i think it's the forest survival episode?), he's, again, uncomfortable and the first to find a solution to their entrapment, be it on his phone

there's probably more, but that's what i remember from the series and spread out on about 60 episodes it's noticeable, but not a deciding factor, especially since donnie's also seen being fine with touch. now, the movie offers us even more of a look into donnie's relationship with touch. this list will include every instance presented i can think of, in no particular order.

during leo and raph's fight after they lost the key, donnie jumps on raph's back in an attempt to stop him from advancing in the fight, as mikey tries to shield leo. it's a very quick decision and doesn't seem to particularly trouble donnie.

after the kraang come through the portal and the turtles escape-pod out, mikey's panicking and grabbing cj, also causing him distress. donnie grabs mikey under his arms like a plushie and is shown to carry him until leo gets back with a panic attack and news of raph, upon which leo starts at cj with a fight in mind and donnie and mikey keep him away. again, no distress is coming off of donnie, no more than the regular situation call for (although he gets more logic-minded and quiet as the movie goes on with only small donnie moments breaking it up, which seems to be how he reacts to stress, but that'll be in another fever post)

he's touching mikey sometimes during the subway battle, but it's most likely he either didn't notice or didn't care, considering everything else happening in that fight (ps the kraang train is my favorite villainous entity in the franchise, give me more of the kraang train and i will give you my soul)

he's shown very visibly having sensory issues (very relatable) throughout the whole movie because of the kraang. not necessarily to do with touch, oh except for the part when he had to get EATEN BY THE TECHNODROME THROUGH HIS BARELY TOUCHED AT ALL SOFT SHELL which is shown to be a sensory nightmare and awful to touch and yes, i had night terrors if that, thank you very much.

at the very end, they all hug with no visible problems except for the fact that they are on staten island. that is to say, there's one important scene still, it happens before the end, but i wanted to have space to gush about it so here we go.

the famous scene of raph grabbing donnie and mikey flying through the air, yelling "don't worry donnie, it's not a hug, it's a rescue". probably the most important thing said in accordance to donnie's relationship with touch.

in my personal opinion, donnie doesn't mask (i mean look at his behavior) or if he does, he does it, rarely in public and even rarer with just his brothers. so every one of the hamato clan knows at least the most important of donnie's boundaries, especially related to the autism, as it's handled well within their family structure (both donnie's and mikey's autism is) . so, if raph calls out to him to warn about the hug he's giving donnie and treats it like a potential bad thing, there are really only two conclusions we can get to.

one, donnie doesn't like/hates physical contact. disputed by just about everything else in the show, except for the listed above exceptions.

two, donnie being open to touch or not is conditional. and considering the mentioned exceptions and raph's rescue from the movie, there's one similarity we can notice between them.

the touch affecting donnie is happening without his consent and without a form of escape.

(except for when donnie's hugged by mikey in his solo mission episode, but considering he's already kind of detached, i'm assuming he's just not up to it and so he uses his robotic extra arms to give comfort instead of ignoring his little brother which aww)

that's the uncomfortable part, the unpredictability and lack of a way to detach himself. aka, donnie's just like me for real. lmao.

donnie probably doesn't mind touch and welcomes it, but needs to be in control of the process and be able to leave if he gets overwhelmed. and his family knows that, hence raph's words in the movie that led so many people astray...

this might just be another evidence of how well donnie is written as an autistic character, both with his low empathy not being demonized and not preventing him from creating bonds (tho sometimes making it difficult) and the fact that the most common opinion of autistic people (that they hate touch, which is something a psychiatrist brought up as evidence of me not being autistic) doesn't apply to everyone.

as a summary, rottmnt donnie is probably the best version of donnie right now and he doesn't hate touching, he just has to touch on his own terms. extremely valid, extremely relatable.

[russsiangirl]

dodge mason headcanons ( x reader included! )

okay so first writing post on this acc, yayy (^O^) i also recently finished panic and my brain has been FULL of dodge so here you go teehee pls comment if youd want me to write more stuff like this !!

he's bi ( like we all saw his scenes with ray, right? talk ab gay awakening..)

wants to build up the courage to get in touch with his father's side of the family & see what they're like!

horrible social battery ( me too )

like he can only hang out with certain people for a certain amount of time before he's like "nuh uh"

also has sensory issues when it comes to clothes, thats why his wardrobe isnt huge

he mainly buys clothes from the same place bc thats what he trusts

not really a touchy-feely person, he's more of a sit in silence and soak in each other's presence person

doesn't really like sneakers, sticks with his boots no matter what

oooh relationship headcanon time

when you're dating dodge he will try his best to spoil you, take you out on dates all that nice stuff. he's constantly trying to see what you like when y'all are spending time together because he doesn't wanna mess up!!

he's not huge on big romantic gestures,, he likes quality time though, just spending hours in his arms and with him

also you do NOT have to worry about him cheating he's like a lil lost puppy with you.. like OUGH he's obsessed he's never letting go

he does have his own issues with jealously that are not resolved so he tries to show that you two are in fact dating as best as he can.

he takes you to his rodeos and takes you out to lunch and/or dinner after

I LOVE COWBOY!DODGE it was not talked about enough

SKIN-TO-SKIN CONTACT IS DODGES FAVORITE HE CRAVES IT SO BADDD

he also would love reading to you

dodge definitely wants kids one day,, and a big ass ranch.. with horses and yes.

who knows i might do a part 2 to this if y'all like it !!

remember to like and comment if you enjoyed!

[miscling]

i went on a big adventure, and i can't decide where to start in terms of posting about it.

well, the short version is i went to a fantastic fetish market in the uk with @capnsoapy, who is a wonderful cute charming little puppy. i had a wonderful time exploring a new place and getting to know it better and hanging out in a deeply kinky space.

i also spent an unwise amount of money on new playthings to add to my toybox, which i have obviously taken a bunch of pictures to show off, i have new wonderful leatherwear, spiky things, a new sensory deprivation hood, some very fun play knives, and my new wife (i love her so much). i'll share some links to where i got things from as i go (all uk shops, which were what i wanted to find at the market more than anything else. i'm super excited about all the stuff i got. i picked up so many business cards for so many shops, that if you name something you want to find, i can probably point you in a direction)

the long version is long, and below.

so first, i got a new collar and lead

look at that colour! i went into the market with a mindset that i didn't have much carrying capacity, so my plan was to only buy stuff i fell in love with immediately. i would have loved to find a day collar of some kind, but this one leapt onto me. it's shaped and has rings on the front and back so the lead can be attached to either, and is really comfy - i haven't taken it off since i got home. (sold by leatherdelights.co.uk)

next is the best stim toy i have ever found:

it's basically a rolling pin covered in little spikes that has a blue-red shift as you roll it. it'll be a sadistic little tickle/sensation tool, but to be honest just rolling it between your hands is amazing in itself. it was passing between me and soapy all afternoon. i got it from spikySHXT.co.uk

the next bits also came from there too!

look at these cuties! i had to do a little ropework to show them off, because they're little spikes to wrap around shibari in case you have a wrigging escape artist or masochist. i'm gonna have a lot of fun with these. imagine them attached to a crotch rope, for example!

my love for sensory deprivation led me to the next bit

yeah. it's a bag. it's cotton with a blackout lining. once you're in it, you can't see much at all. i can see a little bit of the swirly pattern though, which more than a few of you will see the appeal of. i like it for not being as intense and overwhelming as some hoods that sit against the hair and face tightly, while still getting the same effect. it comes from Head Bags UK

okay so what do you all think about knifeplay?

so i've been wanting some play-knives for a while, but the uk is kinda harsh on the sale of knives so finding places to buy them is kinda difficult. i saw these knives and immediately fell in love. they can be sharpened for more of an edge, which i'm definitely going to do, becuase these are amazing. they're from cotswold wood art

finally i get to introduce my wife who i love and adore

i have been riding her pretty much all day, including the whole time i've been writing this post. i picked her up and knew i had to have her. it feels amazing to grind against, especially when one of the tentacles is penetrating me, and it also came with a remote vibe that slots into the base so i am having a lot of fun with her. she came from sinnovator which does all kinds of monsterfucky toys.

also... if you made it this far and you have me on discord you should totally ask me for the video i recorded earlier of me and my wife enjoying our marriage.

[mbgwriting]

Describing Setting with Intent

Recently, I saw a post expressing the sentiment somewhere along the lines of I’m a good writer until I have to describe a room and then forget about it. And my first thought was…so don’t describe the room. Just don’t.

I know what you’re thinking. But my reader won’t know what’s in my mind if I don’t describe it! It’s lush and atmospheric! (Or possibly, It’s my story and I want to!)

Listen. Writer to writer. I know. But if your reader is too bored with your description of the setting to get through the page, they’re not going to see your vision at all because they’re not going to finish your story. 

That doesn’t mean that you can’t give them an idea of what they’re looking at, and that doesn’t mean you can’t ever describe the setting! Let’s talk about it. 

-If you’re bored, your reader is bored. First and foremost. This is just something to remember all the time when writing. If you don’t want to write it, if it’s not working, if you think it’s not interesting–that is your writer’s instinct telling you something! Find a way around it instead of slogging through because you think you have to. 

-Sprinkle in your scene imagery. Think of yourself as the salt bae of descriptive information. Instead of info-dumping, only give tidbits of information as they become relevant to your POV character. Your character notices the breeze as it blows their hair into their face. They notice the uneven ground as they stumble on it. And look, on your first draft, maybe you do info-dump! It’s okay! You have the words on the page, that’s what the first draft is for. When I catch myself doing this, it’s as simple as asking where you can flesh out (and spread out) those details in a more interesting way. 

-Remember what your POV character would actually notice. This example isn’t a room description, but the concept applies. I read The Silent Patient this year. The first chapter begins as a journal entry, and it includes a detailed description of the journal…which we are meant to believe the POV character is currently writing in. When was the last time you wrote in your diary and said “yeah this is my pink Hello Kitty notebook and she’s eating an apple on the cover”? Never. You’ve never done that. You know what the notebook you’re writing in looks like. And guess what? As a reader, that information was not essential to me. I know what a journal looks like. So your main character shouldn’t be describing a familiar setting to your reader like they’ve never seen it before. That isn’t to say you can’t get away with a throwaway detail here and there. It means that it should be just that—a throwaway, so small that it’s barely noticeable, but adds to the visual experience. 

-Go beyond the visual. This goes hand-in-hand with imagery. What does your setting sound like? Smell like? What is the lighting like? Is it warm or cold? Does it feel damp? This is especially useful because even in a familiar place, you might overlook visuals but still pick up on other sensory input–like when you walk into your house and notice if it smells like dinner is cooking or if someone forgot to take the garbage out. 

-Use character action to give texture to the room. What the heck does that mean? It’s a really obnoxious way to say the same thing you’ve heard a thousand times. Show, don’t tell. This can be as simple as mentioning that a chair feels rickety as your character sits down, or giving your characters something to do as they have their conversation. Even if they are simply chatting over the dinner table, you can describe the clink of the cutlery during an awkward silence, the way a character watches the condensation trickle down their glass in order to avoid eye contact, the way another character is distracted by the background noise.

-When you do describe a room, do it with intent. There are times when you can actually describe the room. But people don’t need to know the wall color or that the curtains are made from your MC’s grandmother’s favorite dress unless that’s important to the story. The details you give need to hold weight. For example: in my most recent novel, I spent 2-3 sentences describing the meticulous neatness of my character’s bedroom, but only so that his father could come in a page later and find something to criticize about it. At another point I described a room in a different character's house. This time I used a lot of detail, turning the description into a deluge of information—because I was describing a room in a hoarder’s house. I wanted the reader to feel just as overwhelmed by the room as my character did. 

-The setting description should always do double duty. You’ll notice that all of the examples I gave came down to one simple point: if you’re describing something, there needs to be a reason. It needs to tie into characterization, or theme, or plot, or tone. It needs to add value to the overall story. Otherwise, endless setting descriptions are just…a little bit boring.

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

I'm in my feels about how the way ghosts interact with the world and each other affects Edwin and Charles as sensory seeking and sensory avoidant neurodivergents.

While it's already hard to understand the dynamics of ghostly interactions with their environment at play I'm pretty sure of these things. So we know that Edwin and Charles don't feel items and other alive people the same as they would alive. It's a different touch-based-sensory-less experience(?) at least that's what we know. And we know that they can feel other supernatural beings and each other, differently. I'm in the camp of its basically the same as normal human sensory touch but that could be argued a bit. However we're sticking with that both for the sake of this post and cause I want to.

This analysis got long as shit so readmore it is

Now we see Edwin being very touch avoidant with relatively everyone (besides Niko and Charles) and we see Charles being touch seeking with just about everyone. This makes sense to me under the fact that they as neurodivergent beings both have their more usual "resting state" on the touch-sensory-acceptance scale where Edwin generally rests at the sensory avoidant side and Charles rests at the sensory seeking side.

The implications though of how the fact that you can't really feel things through touch the same way as you would alive really gets to me though. Because you might think that without the sensory part of touch there wouldn't be anything to activate the neurodivergent avoidance right? Well obviously this is not the case for Edwin as we see him from the beginning tolerating touches from Charles and no one else. Then we gain Niko too as someone he appreciates the touch of. And if he can't really Feel the alive people, like Crystal, the same that means that the new ghost touch sensory experience also triggers the touch avoidance. And we see Charles practically touching anyone and (anything) who will let him which means the ghostly touch also triggers touch seeking. So does this mean that under DBDA dynamics neurodivergence finds a way to still be sensitive to sensory experiences under any circumstance? Both in avoiding and seeking it? Does this mean that it's more of a mental thing than the actual 5 senses of it? This is so interesting to me because I've often thought that having the ability to turn off and on sensory capabilities would be LOVELY for my mental health (I have ADHD) I'm not so sure that's true anymore because my brain would just adjust and find ways to avoid and seek THAT new feeling. The feeling of the absence of feeling.

Now the difference between ghost-alive touch/ghost-environmental object touch and ghost-fellow ghost or other supernatural being touch is also interesting to me in sensory seeking terms. Because we also see Edwin enjoying Charles touch specifically and at first we could assume that he only likes touch under ghostly sensory feelings. And us neurodivergent people often have our people that we have more spoons to handle the touch of than others. Which also has very adorablely soft implications of Charles being Edwin's Safe Person including sensorily. But then we see him enjoy Niko's touch too which means that he can also find his sensorily safe person in alive interaction sensories terms. And obviously we see Charles being sensory avoidant too when he's out of spoons for that, like when he bats Edwin's hand away when Edwin attempts to comfort him at the lighthouse. And we see Edwin also sensory seek in, as George put it, craving Charles' touch after their hug in episode 5.

Now I'm fairly certain that they feel things in Hell the same as they would between other supernatural beings and as they did when alive. Which after 70 fucking years of that, I don't even KNOW how I would feel about touch as an already sensory avoidant person if I was in Edwin's shoes. Genuinely an unfathomable part of the experience for me. But clearly Edwin still can handle touch just more specific about it. No different than a regular neurodivergence experience really. Which just gives me so many emotions because Edwin baby boy I knew you were so so strong but 🥺 how did you handle this so well too 🥺. I don't know how you did it. He has so much credit for how he's handled (well everything, but specifically this) so well under these circumstances. Someone pls tell him he deserves more credit than he gives himself.

Anyway my Edwin hell emotions aside, i saw someone mention awhile ago (I would credit them but I don't remember who) that Charles and Edwin wear their gloves so often specifically to avoid having to think about the fact that they don't have the normal human sense of touch anymore which is just so something. Because that in and of itself is its own sensory avoidant behavior. Avoiding the fact that they're not really experiencing a specific flavor of sensory anymore? Could this be true for their many layers of clothing they don to possible keep from feeling that they can't feel the environment the same? Like wind/the snow in ep1, the temperature, and other elements? Sensory avoidance too. A supernaturally charged type of sensory avoidance but still. Sensory avoidance. Plus how we see them lose their layers and gloves when they're in their office bubble alone? Their home? Their comfort space where they have the spoons to relax? And possibly have the spoons to handle the new (well new as a relative term) different type of touch sensory experience that is their ghostly existence? Cause in THESE terms Edwin's sensory seeking in the form of rolling up his sleeves and placing his legs propped up upon the couch arm to experience this new type of environmental feel more fully. And Charles is sensory seeking in the form of Touching Everyone of His Magic Bag Items (and doing classic neurodivergent rearranging and setting up just to take back down play but that's beside the point) and fidgeting by throwing (and consequently touching) the ball in ep1. Which IS in line with how when we're more emotionally comfortable we have the spoons for being more comfortable with other things like more touch and more audio and more visuals as neurodivergents. These are the environmental and worldly items based touch. But we also see them touching EACHOTHER more within their office comfort zone, which means they also feel more sensory seeking in the way we're familiar with in their home bubble. And having the spoons for being more emotionally vulnerable there too but that's not really the point of this post.

In conclusion, how Edwin and Charles still act as touch-sensory seeking and avoidant neurodivergent individuals after this long as ghosts really enamors me. I didn't really go into analyzing the other 4 senses have changed for them but we know they can see and hear the same so those sensory seeking levels wouldn't change, and smell and taste are too things they mentioned they don't have anymore as ghosts but they HAVEN'T touched on how smell and taste senses would work between them and other supernatural entities like. I can't really comment on how the minute differences between ghost on alive and and ghost on ghost feelings would differ without knowing more. Like perhaps this would be touched on more in season 2? Like the taste of eachother hmm? Much to think about. Anyway yeah this was my neurodivergent reading of their touch based sensory seeking, I probably didn't consider some things, so I would love to hear your input on this too!

[schizopositivity]

Hello, I’m starting the process of trying to unlearn the harmful messaging, misinformation, and stereotypes surrounding psychosis/schizophrenia. I’m coming from a place of humility and ignorance - fully trying to abandon all of my preconceptions about these experiences and the people that have them. I found your blog while looking for people’s personal experiences and understanding of these conditions. Thank you for sharing this information and your perspective with the world! It can’t possibly be easy, and the honesty you share is helping people like me finally learn the right way. Thank you for all the work you put into this blog and for sharing it with the world.

As I was reading through your backlog, one of your posts discussed how medication can often specifically remove the positive symptoms of these conditions. I was wondering if you could explain in a little more detail what the positive symptoms are? It was my first time encountering this idea and I want to make sure I don’t get misinformation. If this question is insensitive, please feel free to discard it - I’m asking in the best faith and don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Thank you for your time!

Aw thank you! Sometimes I forget that people reading my posts don't already have a certain baseline understanding of terms commonly used for schizophrenia. So this is a great chance for me to teach people about the way schizophrenia symptoms are commonly categorized.

Since schizophrenia can include many different symptoms that are treated using different methods (or are untreatable) the symptoms have been put into 3 categories.

Positive symptoms are symptoms that add something to a schizophrenic person's life that many people don't have. Positive in this context just means "adding to", not as in "good" or "happy". Positive symptoms include hallucinations, illusions, delusions, catatonia, disorganized speech and disorganized thoughts. These symptoms are typically treated with antipsychotic medication. These symptoms can also come and go throughout someone's life.

Negative symptoms are symptoms that take away something in a schizophrenic person's life that many people do have. Negative in this context just means "taking away from", not "bad". Negative symptoms include avolition (lack of motivation), anhedonia (lack of pleasure), alogia (limited or lack of speech), flat or blunted affect, and social withdrawal. These symptoms might be treatable with therapy and social support. These symptoms are consistently present throughout someone's life.

Cognitive symptoms are symptoms caused by a difference in brain structure that causes a difference how the brain works in schizophrenic people. Cognitive symptoms include slower processing speed, impaired working memory, reduced attention and vigilance, reduced verbal learning, trouble with reasoning and problem solving, impaired sensory perception, and impaired social cognition. These symptoms might be treated with therapy. These symptoms are consistently present throughout someone's life.

(Not everyone with schizophrenia will have every single symptom listed in each category)

Here are some simplified infographics:

[reds-skull]

Fic recs - oneshots (part 3)

ALRIGHT I'm hoping this is the last oneshot post, since there are a lot of other fics I wanna recommend that don't fall in this category.

This post is like 5x longer than the other ones just because I wanted to finish all of my current oneshot recs and otherwise it will take like 3 more posts. So beware there are a lot more under the cut.

If you're new here, these are all sfw oneshots:

i've dug two graves for us, my dear. by eddie_dxaz - Johnny gets buried alive.

Scotch-Soaked Lips by FreeToWriteForMe - Ghost watches Soap while the team is in a bar.

I owe the hat man money and I don't want to see him by Louffox - Ghost gets drugged and hallucinates while Soap tries to keep both of them alive.

Painting the snow red by Faolamb - Ghost is a wraith and Soap werewolf. Soap loses control and Ghost calls him back.

Mild as May by lambstew4you - Ghost and Soap are on a mission, and they have a talk by the campfire.

Hell or High Water by lambstew4you - Soap gets kidnapped and put in a sensory deprivation tank. He is rescued, but the damage is already done.

Daylight Through The Fog by WeirdTin - Ghost is afraid of letting people in. Soap just wants to love every scar.

i never said i'd be alright (just thought i could hold myself together) by TheLastTheosaurus - Ghost gets injured on a mission with Soap. Without exfil in sight, he hides it. Despite his efforts Soap finds out.

Breathe in, Hold it by Hedgehog_kun - Simon and Johnny are in a relationship. Life is good, for once. But one night Soap comes home angry and drunk, and Ghost can't help but freeze.

How it started, how it's going by Nuria123 - The fic where Ghost thinks he and Soap are already dating (5+1).

heat death by eggtimelads - Soap and Ghost spend an afternoon fending off this relentless heat [relatable tbh].

note to self: drink in moderation by eggtimelads - Ghost gets drunk, does a little pining out loud, and gets his reputation ruined while also getting a boyfriend.

Absolutely by ElizaStyx - 5 times Soap confesses to Ghost in a language he thought Ghost didn't understand, and one time he knows full well Ghost does.

the shroud is made of linen by stars_boy - In which Ghost is interrupted while watching the sunrise.

Lets Go Stargazing For Real Next Time by Trouble_13 - Ghost thought they were getting somewhere, but it feels like they have to restart all over again.

Lonely Hearts Club by Wheezing_Joe - Soap and Rudy accidentally start fake dating. Ghost and Alejandro aren't too pleased with it [this is ghostsoap and alerudy, so it's twice as good]

Night Has Always Pushed Up Day by Sillililli - Ghost gets injured and is stuck in a hospital, when they bring in a blind Soap. They're forced to share a room.

dying all the way back to the root by Magpie (QuickSilverFox3) - Soap is separated from Ghost, but Ghost can still hear his voice. He just needs to find him before someone else does.

i fear you will know me but most of all i fear i will never know you by rocketnintendo - Soap hides the extent of his injuries. Ghost finds out and is gentle.

My Heart Leapt From Me by Macabre_Flower - A pipe bursts above Soap's bed in the middle of the night. Ghost offers to help.

Palimpsest by Blackbird_flyaway - Ghost loses all memory from the last 3 years, including all memory of Soap.

The way his feet strike the earth by Blackbird_flyaway - Soap puts on a blindfold and gets kissed as part of a drinking game only it becomes a lot more than that.

i need you to hurt me back instead by TheLastTheosaurus - 5 times Ghost needed a hug, and the one time his got one.

Figure Study by 002405 - Ghost asks Soap to draw him like one of his French girls. Things devolve from there.

love me despite by TheLastTheosaurus - Ghost needs rest. Soap helps him get it.

no better version i could pretend to be tonight by TheLastTheosaurus - Soap can't sleep. he goes to Ghost.

Wash your mouth out with soap by Red_Clegane [the one and only] - Soap is reminded how he got his call sign and Ghost helps him put the pieces back together.

sunday morning (rain is falling) by wellyesbutactuallyno - Soap wants to learn more about Ghost. Ghost lets him.

The Haircut by thevalesofanduin - Soap's hair is too long. Ghost helps him cut it.

On the nights you feel outnumbered (I'll be out there, somewhere) by Brigadier - Ghost feels more irritable than usual and gets involved in a bar fight.

I want to crack open your ribs and crawl in the space left behind (Je veux me lover au creux de ton creur et ne jamais repartir) by flaminpumpkin - Simon ends up having to drag his drunk sergeant back to base and finds himself in a sticky situation because he's too smitten with the man.

Bloody Delirium by GnawingAtMyEyes - Soap gets gravely injured and suffers from blood loss delirium.

Tell Me a Secret by resonatingkitty - Ghost asked Soap to tell him a secret one evening at a bar and what Soap tells him is not what he expected to hear.

Never Hide This (From Me Again) by resonatingkitty - during a mission, Soap gets nicked and doesn't report it to Ghost. Ghost doesn't take it well.

Bruised Peach by Phiunzirus - After their latest mission, Soap's right arm looks like a bruised peach. What happens when Ghost accidentally grabs it a bit too hard?

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again (it's been a long, long time) by Angelicasdean - Soap's been home for weeks now, but he's still missing the last piece of the puzzle. Thankfully, it's scheduled to return today.

Forbidden by eddie_dxaz - Ghost comes to terms with his feelings for Soap and tries to fight them. Unsuccessfully.

The Maskmaker by ElizaStyx - Soap finds Ghost working on a new mask.

Cat Dad by ElizaStyx - One day a little kitten appears at the 141 HQ and Soap falls in love. Too bad the kitty only likes Ghost.

Blind date with a book by Nuria123 - Ghost is a famous anonymous writer and Soap loves his books. They fall in love.

Recovery by Nuria123 - Soap and Ghost meet after being medically discharged at a rehab facility. Soap volunteers and Ghost is newly admitted. [this is one of the few fics to make me actually sob hard it's so extremely good]

can't keep johnny down by Wheezing_Joe - Soap loses commes on a mission and presumed dead. After finding his way back to base he's surprised by how much he's been missed.

red woven confessions by wayfaredsoldier - Soap got he and Ghost wishing bracelets in an attempt to grow closer to him and got far more than he expected.

made a bed with apathy (years worth of dust and neglect) by aetherealmoss - Soap gets triggered by someone who looks too much like his painful past, and Ghost is there to help him through it [TW SA, rape and child abuse on this one]

Safe With Me by Wixiany - Soap who is in an abusive relationship befriends Ghost when he moved into the neighborhood. His boyfriend accuses them of cheating and Ghost is blocked for several days until Soap shows up in the middle of the night.

snuffed by crown_twist - Johnny really, really doesn't like cigarettes. Ghost didn't know.

Choice by achievement_hunteresss - Shepherd captures the 141. He offers them a deal. He will let the other person go unharmed, if you shoot yourself in front of them.

tags by achievement_hunteresss - Soap asks for help with detangling his dogtags. Ghost accidentally unburies Simon.

Precipice by Islenthatur - Soap dies and has to choose (dw it's surprisingly not mcd)

Coven (Scheherazade) by basgijr - Ghost can't sway an overwhelming feeling that something isn't right. Soap is a werewolf that stinks of wet dog and also love (Ghost is a vampire). [this one I found from a Tumblr post that I lost]

sullen by rottin - Sparring goes a little wrong.

Lessen the Load by Hammy1o1 - Price had to talk Ghost down from suicide a few times. Things change when Soap joins the taskforce. [obviously TW for suicide]

Aaaand that's all of them! And my god there's a lot. Next post I'm considering giving a list of writers I like (aka have a lot of fics that I like so I save their name instead of individual fics), which will be one post since there's not too many. After that we can finally get to the longer fics!

[elbiotipo]

Question: he would the hair in cat ears work for catgirls? do they get the same hair covering the ears as the rest of the head or would it be shorter for the ears only? if a catgirl has long curly hair, is the hair covering the ears also long and curly?

I would have to research that, but given I have a research subject next to me (my cat) cats do seem to have shorter hair in their ears by default, which makes sense because ears are well, ears, and they need to be mobile and clear of obstructions.

You can see here that this cat (not mine, he went away as I was writing this) has medium-length fur but the hairs covering the ears are rather short. It makes sense it would be the same for catgirls.

Now, does this mean that cat-people hair would be the same as their fur? Do notice that cat fur has a very different length and texture from human hair in that human hair doesn't have that layered thing that makes most mammal fur, individual hairs are also much longer. Furthermore, humans are WEIRD, just plain WEIRD in our hair distribution. No other mammals are like us, there are certainly hairless mammals, for sure, but the human distribution of hair is very much unlike other primates, with our hairy heads, stomach/pubic areas, beard and armpits, while those are usually bald in other primates. There is still considerable debate on the evolution of hairlesness in humans, from endothermic regulation (better sweating) to sexual selection (which might explain the persistance of, well, hair and body hair instead of complete hairlessness). What's interesting is that genes for a full fur (hair, I guess) coat in humans are still there, just disabled into vellus hairs which are a lot less prominent. If you want more on the subject, I warn you, it's a deep dive, but you can start in Wikipedia.

BACK TO CATS THOUGH, something that people often forget is that whiskers are indeed another kind of fur, but not only that, they are active sensory organs that take a big part of brains in many mammals. One we also lack. Humans are strange. But while cats can live without whiskers, it's still something very important to them. So I think that is something we forget about felines and feline characters.

It would also be a real interesting thing if cat-people had different hair, as in the thing in top of our heads (which seems to have evolved to protect our stupid big brains from the sun) similar to cat fur. Perhaps a catgirl would look pretty much human, but from touching the hair, seeing her eyes, perhaps even whiskers, you would see different stuff (assuming a fantasy or such setting). Given our genetics, it's not exactly implausible to have people whose fur just sticks to their hair and tail. It's just, well, I really need to make a post on this sort of stuff one day.

For a VERY fun deep dive into cat coat and eye genetics, I found this site full of deep explanations and charts about cat genetics. Including HYPOTHETICAL cat coats:

Honestly, don't miss it if you're doing cat-like characters. This is way more fun that just sticking ears and a tail and be done with it. Put the cat in catgirls again, that's what I say.

[thurio-edau]

SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

first of all, I should explain what I am going to do. starting with Ashlyn, I'll analyze and/or theorize the group. because there is a lot of depth to all their characters and I've really been wanting to do this for some time. it will be a total of 5 posts instead of 6, because I will be analyzing Tyler and Taylor together due to obvious reasons. I will also cut them at the beginning because they might be long and also there will be triggers.

Part 1: Ashlyn Banner

I'm starting with Ashlyn right here as the protagonist and the leader of the series. Ashlyn's probably won't be very long since this is not a character analysis and instead, a mental characteristic analysis. even though her character is written so well that doesn't mean she has to be mentally sick, since she seems to be... well the most stable one -until the recent chapters-

what I'll be starting off with, will be autism. even though it's not confirmed fully in canon, Red herself said that she wrote Ashlyn with autism in mind so in this analysis I'll mostly go through with the symptoms she shows and how it explains her character.

her most obvious and constantly repeated symptom is her sensory issues. she is able to hear phantom noises and other things no one can hear due to her hypersensitive hearing.

from the beginning of the series, she has been repeatedly struggling with loud noises even though she wore earplugs or noise-cancellation headphones. Ashlyn herself said that she didn't want to make friends growing up, one of the reasons being her sensitive hearing allowing her to hear everything. you'd also probably be wary of things like it if you had her hearing; any gossip, talking behind backs, rumours etc. would not be pleasant to hear and you'd be aware of everyone's true side.

the group understands her problems with her hearing being too strong, and looks after her whenever there's anything loud. which was first seen at the arcade if I'm correct, Taylor asked her if she'd be alright and Aiden got punched in the face while he was worried about her.

or the time Taylor and Logan were shooting at the centipede phantom, due to the bullets making extremely loud sounds for her. or in the facility, when Logan told her to cover her ears to take down a phantom.

from the moment she was born, she had always been sensitive to any loud sounds. reminding here that autism is a neurodivergency, which means someone's brain is diverse than most other who we call neurotypicals. autism, ADHD, bipolar etc. are neurodivergencies that cannot be obtained later in life, and has always been at the person's brain.

I see myself in her frequently, I also wear earplugs constantly and my friends are aware of the sensory issues I have. her reactions to said sensory issues are written really realistic and correctly.

next, boundaries and distancing.

once again, since the beginning, Ashlyn has been distancing herself from everyone around her. this part will mostly include Aiden due to him not understanding boundaries and having passed Ashlyn's lots of times.

autistic people tend to avoid eye contact, physical touch -if the person is not very close to them- and also usually not very expressive. for the love of god, the first time we see her geniunely smile is halfway through the series, when they get the car keys. the group's reaction to her smile is hilarious, even.

after the events of that night, Aiden is trying to understand her boundaries. he's an affectionate/caring person inside, and wants to hug her but keeps it low by just holding her head.

here we learn he did, indeed, hug her when he kept her from falling and Ashlyn even allowed it when she realized how scared he was for her.

despite keeping her boundaries always high, she let it happen this time, learning how to open up to people. before this night she was always on guard

by time she starts to see them as her actual friends, like the found family they are. autistic people are similar to cats actually, like those stray cats that will claw you instantly if you look at their eyes for long or make sudden moves to pet them. the cat sniffs your hand first, you feed it for some time, then a slight touch. the cat gets used to you after your own efforts to get close to it. Ashlyn is a similar case, she had to almost die to get used to them and accept them.

next, special interests. this part is a bit short but I feel as if it still counts to be honest.

ever since her childhood, she's been very interested in dancing. losing track of time as she does, not being interested in any other things if it wasn't related to ballet, making it a very important part of herself. her love for dance/ballet made her not take any interest in anything else like her self-defense classes her parents tried to give, and they were really surprised once she asked them to do it this time.

like cmon she has a literal dance mat on her room

which basically wraps the main symptoms! I can't really think of any detail symptoms for now because it's midnight here but I'm thinking of updating them each time I get more ideas. for the next part, mental disorders.

personally, I must say that I don't think she suffers from any mental disorders or illnesses. she's not depressive, just closed off. you might ask anxiety but she herself had said she isn't shy or nervous, she herself just doesn't like to talk a lot which is fully valid. Ashlyn hasn't showed any problems in talking in front of audiences, she isn't paranoid -her hypersensitive hearing doesn't count since it's not paranoia; she knows what's in there because she hears- and seems to be mentally more stable than the rest of the group. I also don't think she has anger issues the way Ben and Tyler do, it's just that everything got on her nerves quickly before she got used to the team.

she doesn't mind being the leader of the group and definitely isn't scared, as seen as how she went up against Tyler when they first were in the phantom dimension.

Ashlyn is basically the autistic girl who doesn't like talking much and has high boundaries, but once she warms up to her friends she's willing to do anything for them as seen as the recent episodes in the facility. I'm almost fully sure that she is autistic, considering the signs she shows.

sorry if this was a bit boring! the next ones will definitely be more interesting because the rest of the characters have interesting backstories and oh boy some disorders, I just wanted to start with Ashlyn to see if I could do this the way it was in my mind. I'm sure the rest can be pretty good!

I'd like it if anyone else mentioned more stuff. next up will be Aiden, who has a plethora of characteristics and it's definitely going to be really interesting. thank you for reading so far but I won't be writing Aiden's now because hhhhhh i need some sleep

[writingquestionsanswered]

i’m autistic so when i’m doing Anything i am almost always specifically Avoiding noticing my surroundings, anything going on at all, so when it comes to descriptive writing i’m slowly realising i actually don’t know What to write. i can get a little bit in about physical body things like emotions or pain etc but i don’t reeaally know how to describe an environment or room or anything but i’m not really wanting to start looking for that in real life because it would overwhelm me so i’m not sure how to like. learn it, i guess?

Describing Environments as Autistic Writer

Describing environments can be tricky for any writer, but there's a great method you can use that will help make it easier. For any environment you need to describe, go looking on Google Image Search, Pinterest, Pexels, Shutterstock... wherever... for inspiration photos that represent that environment.

For example, let's say I need to describe a high school gymnasium. Google Image Search gives me lots of great pictures:

I can go through and find ones that match what I'm envisioning. Or, if I have nothing in mind, whichever one stands out as being a good fit. You can bookmark the image, save it, screen cap it, or print it out. Or, you might just keep the image open for reference while you describe the environment in your story.

Some people find it helpful to create "mood boards" or "aesthetics" with lots of different pictures that represent one location. Then, any time they need to describe that environment, they can look back to the collage image for reference.

Depending on whether you're a "planner" or a "pantser," you may want to gather all your inspiration photos in advance, or you may want to just wait until you come to an environment you need to describe and search for the inspiration images then.

Either way, once you have a photograph to guide you, it's much easier to figure out how to describe what the environment looks like. You can talk about things like layout, architectural structure/elements, size, shapes, color and texture, and decoration. You may also wish to include other sensory details, such as sound, smell, and feel... such as the echo inside a gym, the smell of rubber mats, and warmth from a lot of people crowded together to watch an event.

I hope that helps!

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[the-fluff-piece]

Hi, I know you just filled in a request of mine, but I couldn't stop thinking abt this one scene from a book. Basically, it's where fem!reader sits on Ace's, Law, and Monsert Trio's lap while theh feed the fem!reader strawberries dipped in chocolate with whipped cream on top. (Pls. include ace, i'm a major simp for him)

The scene requested is meant like a mindfulness-exercise, so it's a lot about the sensory experience. So this will be 5 Scenes where I try not to be too repetitive about the strawberry and try to bring out what makes each of them unique and lovable. We are directly entering the scene, so don't ask me where the food comes from xD

Also look ar my stories and headcanon master lists

Since it took me AGES here's the first two scenes with extra Ace and I'll post monster three when finished

Here is

An exercise in mindfulness

Part 2 coming soon!

You're having a panic attack, a breakdown, you're hyperventilating and don't know what to do anymore. Good thing your one piece suitor knows how to deal with it

Law

As a doctor, he immediately saw what was going on. The cold sweat on your forehead, the quick breathing, the fear in your eyes. It pained him to see you like that, so his first instinct was to draw you close.

"I'm here baby" He breathed into your hair as his arms wrapped tightly around you. Being held felt good.

He gently lifted your shaking body to sit you down on his lap as he settled on his bed.

"I got you. Concentrate on breathing. That's it, slowly" He guided you to calm down a bit.

He sat with you for a while, just breathing, before reaching over to get something from the nightstand.

"Close your eyes, open your mouth" he ordered in a soft voice and you complied.

"Taste it" something cool and wet touched your tongue. It was sweet and creamy in your mouth.

"Open up and bite down" he said, and you closed your mouth around it and bit down. A stream of sweet and fruity juice filled your mouth, made sweeter by the cream and there were also chunks of something...

"Let it sit in your mouth, taste it" Law said in his soft, deep voice. It was always easy for you to listen to him. His voice was deep and dark, it sounded soft and rich, especially that close to your ear. It was like the chocolate you began to taste as it melted in your mouth and balanced the sourness of the strawberry and the sweet cream with its heavy chocolate flavour.

You swallowed.

"Can you tell me what it is?" you could feel his breath tickle your ear.

"A strawberry? With dark chocolate and cream" you said and felt a soft kiss to your forehead as focus returned to your world. You realised that he was holding your hand in his, fingers threaded, and that he was rocking you back and forth.

You opened your eyes and saw the rest of the strawberry in his long fingers. He dipped it deep in cream once again, getting some on his fingers as well.

When he offered it to you, you took the strawberry in your mouth but couldn't resist to get the cream from his fingers as well. As you kissed it from his fingers, there was a light shiver in his body.

Ace

As your commander, he was responsible for you and your wellbeing. Always there, always an open ear and an easy smile. So when fear clasped its hand around your throat, you ran to him, heaving and babbling nonsense.

"Woah, slow down" He put his hands on your shoulders and made you look at him.

"Did something happen?" He asked, suddenly very serious.

You told him what led to your panic attack. "It's just in my head, I'm so sorry" you gasped for air because you hadn't been breathing right.

Suddenly, Ace put something on your head. In the midst of your attack, you were confused.

"This is now your safety hat" he explained. As you watched his black, messy hair in the wind you realised- your wearing his signature hat now.

"Come here, I know what will calm you down. A little comfort food." He reached for a small Basket and sat cross legged on the floor. You sank to your knees and stayed there, unable to move.

"If you stay like that your knees will hurt" He tugged on your arms to draw you into his lap.

"You know what calmed my baby brother down everytime? Food." He smiled a broad, reassuring smile and gave you a strawberry. You swallowed it almost without chewing.

"Hey! Not so fast, concentrate a bit ok? It'll calm you down" He reached for another.

"Now slowly, one bite. Keep it in your mouth. Notice all those small seeds in its surface? And the texture inside?" His voice was calm, soothing, "very good. Now you can chew and swallow."

You gulped it down, your throat still narrow, but your heart was beating a little calmer.

"You're in luck I planned for some sweet dessert. I've prepared everything! Here's another" this time, he dipped it in cream.

"I like the cream, it somehow makes it more fruity!" He said as he took one himself.

"Not so fast" He reminded you and you concentrated really hard on being slow and patient.

"Good stuff, right?" Another strawberry vanished in his mouth.

"Want another?" He asked.

You nodded and opened your mouth for one more. It was so generously dipped in cream that a drop landed on your chin.

"My bad" Ace said and wiped the cream with his finger and licking it off. He watched you eat and gave you another, with an even bigger crown of cream.

As he moved it to your mouth, a big drop fell, right on your collarbone. You definitely were in the moment now, the cool drop was like a needle on your skin.

"Oopsie" He whispered with a broad smile and trailed his fingers down your collarbone, "I'm so sorry..."

"You don't sound sorry" you chuckled.

"There's that smile again" and gave you a soft kiss.

"You were very brave" He whispered into your ear.

----

I hope the first part was to your liking! If you want something tweaked for the last three let me know ❤️

[redbleedingrose]

Girl Dad!Rhysand x Reader Headcanons Pt 2

Part 1

A/N: So it turns out you all enjoyed the first post and I kept coming up with more ideas so here we go!

Girl dad Rhys back at it again stealing all our hearts smh <333333

I feel like Rhys is really into family vacations! He loves taking time to just relax with his mate and his little shining star, often taking you and the babe up to the private cabin to just get away from the stress of being high lord and high lady. He really believes that the key to having a happy and healthy relationship with both you and your daughter is being “normal” and truly just being himself around the people he cares most for in the entire world.

He is definitely the kind of mate to have a secluded beach house, a quaint cabin in the Illyrian mountains, a cozy cottage in the forests that he personally designed. Ofc there is a huge master bedroom with an on-suite sitting area with a gigantic balcony that has the best views in the entire home. He also designs the perfect room for your babe, even including additional rooms for any future children you may have (which he is quite desperate for). There is a play room with lots of sensory development toys, a library that holds collections of all your and your daughters favorite books from different authors, there is definitely a pool (for late night skinny dipping), and a music room that has the piano and guitars so your daughter can learn how to play.

He adores playing chess with his shining star. She always wins against her 500 year old father despite being only 3. He loves watching her little pigtails bounce as she dances and jumps with glee, teasing her mama: “I won mama, you never win against papa, right papa?” Her chubby cheeks flushing with excitement as she stares up at you with innocent widened eyes. “That’s right my shining star, papa always wins,” his violet eyes glinting with starlight as he sends you a cheeky wink that leaves you feeling flushed all over

The asshole never lets you win, in fact, he always has a stupid sexy smug smirk on his face every time you play against him.

At some point during your relationship, you forced Azriel to teach you all of Rhys’ dirty tricks so you can finally win against him.

It did not work.

Man’s already had you figured out. Watching you with one eyebrow raised and a grin tugging at his lips every time you played a move where you thought you had the upper hand, only for him to end up winning.

It’s okay though… he ate you out for hours as a reward for trying so hard

ANYWAY

I feel like your daughter and Rhys are connected on a deeper level. Like I said, this male adores her. Treats her like a princess. Coddles her to the extreme while making sure she understands her privilege. Regardless… they just understand each other more than you could ever describe. It is that unconditional deep love that he has for her that makes their bond so special.

Any time she has a nightmare? Rhys is already awake and jogging towards her room to bring her back to your bed and let her sleep between the both of you or on his chest.

When she was just a babe, before she could talk, you could swear that with the way Rhys and her stared at each other, they were communicating and could understand each other. They still do that now. It is like they have their own language, inside jokes that end with high pitched giggles and Rhys tickling her and pulling her close to smooch her ruddy cheeks.

There was a phase your daughter had where she would try to sneak into your bed to sleep with you and Rhys. You would wake up every single time she tried, silently watching with a soft smile and bleary eyes as Rhys shush’s her as she stares up at him with her violet puppy dog eyes, “C’mere little love, shh don’t wake mama, s’okay, you can sleep with us tonight,” already leaning down to pick her up under her outstretched arms to settle her between you both. When she crawls in behind you and tries to throw her tiny arm around your waist, you will turn around with a gentle groan and pull her into your chest, tucking her head under your chin and planting a soft kiss to her fluffy hair so she can snuggle into you completely.

Rhysand still struggles to sleep some nights. Some nights, he wakes up gasping for air and clutching his chest, staring at you desperately while you rub his back and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. On these nights though, Rhys is completely content and at ease. When you and his babe are with him, you both are entirely safe. The thing is… he feels entirely safe too. He leans in for a quick peck before scooting forward to cuddle you both into him, almost immediately sliding back into a deep sleep with you both in his arms.

This male is also the most extravagant and outlandish fae you have ever met. This male insists on matching EVERYWHERE. Before your daughter was born, he would have clothes that were specially made for you both so that you could match wherever you went. Now??? This male has you AND your daughter matching with him.

Matching pajama sets??? A MUST

Regular every day wear??? Better be matching

training clothes???

“We are on the same team darling, we have to match,” he pleads as you stare at him exasperated as hell. He will even rope your daughter in, I cannot with him frl… “Isn’t that right my little star? You want mama to match with me and you right?”

And how are you supposed to resist your adorable daughter clapping her tiny hands and clutching at your dress, rocking back and forth on her heels with her violet eyes looking up at you, “Yes mama! Please match with us!” with the largest toothy smile, reminding you how she is growing up too fast

Matching starfall outfits?? Absolutely, without a doubt, its not a want, its a NEED

Male gets weak in the knees when he realizes that you and your babe are wearing your hair in the same hairstyle. He bites at your exposed neck and whisper begs for another babe.

Can we just discuss how adorable your babe is? Her violet eyes and ruddy cheeks that are so chubby every time she smiles with wild hair that can barely be controlled? Her round belly and tiny hands that barely fist around 3 of Rhys’ fingers and her feet that stumble and scamper through the marbled floors with delighted screams as Azriel and Cassian play tag with her. She is your little angel.

All that to say, Rhysand absolutely blows raspberries onto her tummy that results in squeals and laughter that make the stars shine brighter. He also loves to pretend to eat and chew on her toes and feet. They are his favorite “snack” as he likes to tell your babe.

Whenever she falls or hurts herself, she immediately comes running to you with fat tears rolling down her ruddy cheeks and her arms sticking out so her mama can cuddle and kiss away her pain. Obviously a mama’s kiss is healing of all things. Rhys worries like a mother hen, fretting over her paper cut, “Should we call Madja darling?? Are you sure??? Look, she is crying!!! I think we should call Majda. She needs to clear out the clinic immediately so all of the healers can focus on her!!!” And you are just rolling your eyes and smooching away your shining stars tears and her boo boo. After she has calmed down a little, all she wants to do is cuddle with her papa, and he will immediately bring her into his arms and hold her against his chest, his fluttering heart with panic beating under her tiny head while he plants kisses all over her temple and forehead while checking her boo boo and signs of any other boo boos. He will also add his own kiss because, “papa wants to help too little love.”

You wanna know what Rhys thinks is the most adorable thing?? It is when your daughter follows you around and pretends to be high lady because she wants to be exactly like her mama. She drinks her milk from her sippy cup and pretends that it is the coffee that you drink every morning. She bosses Cassian around, forcing him to have tea parties with her to mimic gatherings with other courts, and loves when Mor dresses her up and gets her all dolled up. She loves joining you and Rhys in your shared office and acts like she is “in charge” of meetings, often falling asleep in the chair with her belly sticking out of her shirt that is riding up, milk dripping out of the sippy cup onto the wooden floors as it hangs out from her hand, soft snores while you and Rhys discuss political strategy softly in the background, kissing her head every so often to see that tiny sleepy smile as she shifts deeper into the sofa.

Rhysand has no strength against her. One messily pout from her gets her whatever she wants. Some high lord he is (affectionate in love eye roll)

She wants a horse?

“But darling, it is just a tiny project with 100 stables and 100 horses. It is entirely plausible. My little star deserves to have all the horses she wants”

She wants a pup?

“Okay little love, but we have to convince mama first so make sure you give her your puppy dog eyes okay?” (Smooches her cheeks ten times before settling her on his hip and making his way to your office)

She wants new shoes?

“My heart… she only has two closet collection of shoes… she should have at least fifteen as the future high lady!”

“Rhys she is only four.”

“That doesn’t matter darling! She deserves the best of the best, just as you do.”

She wants a new house?

“Sweetheart, we only have five houses. A high lord and lady can have a couple more. Especially if our shining star wants another.”

“Rhys, she does not need another house. She is fine.”

“But darling…” (whines like a baby until you give in and he builds another home for you)

She wants a sister?

“I think it’s time for another darling”

“You think so?”

“Yes darling, I-”

“I think so too husband.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

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