#And most people probably won’t care about my personal shit anyways

[marvel-leviathan]

I posted 20,803 times in 2022

36 posts created (0%)

20,767 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@plaguerightsactivist

@sp8sexual

@bchnnbrns

@kittilumpo

@genderneutralqueer

I tagged 1,639 of my posts in 2022

#critical role - 281 posts

#fanart - 217 posts

#dragon age - 194 posts

#gif - 177 posts

#critrole - 160 posts

#star wars - 128 posts

#cr spoilers - 78 posts

#cr3 - 67 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 63 posts

#art - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#last night right before bed i made myself cry because i imagined that in 30 years i will need a knee replacement and no one will take care

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

lmfao it’s 3 AM and there’s still an hour left on this campaign. 

will i be calling out of work tomorrow, since i start at 11? possibly.

am i a clown for critical role? definitely. 

4 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

#4

Here’s some rain + thunder from today’s earlier storm ☔️

5 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

#3

I love Aona with my whole heart omfg

I love reformed assassins being thrown into slice of life moments and not knowing what the fuck to do with themselves

5 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#2

Free Taldorei Reborn PDF’s!

If anyone would like a free PDF version of Taldorei Reborn, please let me know! I just bought it and have 2 downloads left, which I won’t be needing. 

8 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Watching shows like Bridgerton makes it extremely clear that I’m definitely ace/aro, because wtf are up with these people 😅

I get it’s a romantic show, but Jesus Christ

18 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bubblergoespop]

My Top Aaron Quotes

men who are just constantly tired of everything>>>>>

“Well buckle up, wiz kid.”

“So yeah, I am gonna miss you. I’m really gonna miss you.”

“Sue me. Except don’t. My brain is already fried from the financials, I don’t need to throw legalese on top of that.”

“Fuck it. There’s nothing in here I can’t replace. I want you."

“Oliver”

“I didn’t say I wanted to spend the day with you, I asked if you wanted to spend the day with me. I asked first.”

"Ell"

“Hey, stop it. Because you know how much I like you running your fingers through my hair. Makes my brain go all fuzzy.”

“I appreciate it. And you.”

“Oh, it’s not playing dirty. It’s just me making you feel good.”

“I didn’t realise I was apparently dating an anthropomorphic backpack.”

“H-hey—stop it. You—no, your kisses are just… it tickled. Shut up. So what if my sides are ticklish, it’s not like that’s weird, you shit.”

“Oh, and now you can’t even find the strength to lift your head out of my lap, hmm? You poor thing. Who knew that being lazy could be so exhausting?”

“I love you very much. Now get off me.”

“You talked a big talk back then. But it turns out you’re just a cuddle-hungry softy after all, huh? Yes you are. At least when you’re still sleepy, anyway.”

“I also know you’re probably the kind to fly off half-cocked and make me chase you down with the SPF 50 like a madman. If for no other reason than to infuriate me.”

“Come here. Come closer. Because I said so.”

“I love you. And I love rain. And I love being with the person I love while it rains. Isn’t that a fun little combo?”

“You are very cute looking up at me like that.”

“Or is the thought of a few more minutes in my arms that much of an imposition? Asshole. Mmm. I love you too.”

“I can’t even try to say a nice thing without you having to get some snark into it, can I? No, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You brat. I love you just as you are.”

“You make me better. And that’s no small order when you’re talking about me, given the high level I already started at.”

“A man’s gotta eat. And you’ve always been my favorite thing on the menu.”

“Oh yes, you’re so put upon. Your evil boyfriend only makes you a whole breakfast spread, he won’t then also let you sleep in even later than you already have.”

“Eli”

“Yes, in a shocking twist, I do find your absence unpleasant. Perish the thought, right?”

“Time spent with the people I care about is important to me. It doesn’t have to be time doing anything special, it doesn’t have to be conversations about our future or some greater purpose or any of that shit, I just want to be with the person that I’m with.”

“Sure, there are plenty of ways to sleep on a couch just fine. It’s your hybrid approach that lands somewhere between gymnast and pretzel that tends to get you in trouble.”

“You’re okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

“If it feels like it's coming on again, come tell us, okay?”

“I only met them a handful of times. They're sweet. They laugh a lot. They spent most of the time giving Elliott shit, it was funny. Not in like a mean way, like the way you do when you love somebody that much. They were a good balance for one another.”

“God I sound old. And I feel old. And I’m not, but it feels like it. A grumpy old man. Might as well start yelling at kids to not play so loud in the neighborhood, really complete the image.”

��Stop calling me an old man, only I’m allowed to call me old. Don’t be mean. I’m in a vulnerable state. I need baseless praise.”

“Yes. Holding you feels very productive.”

“Yeah. Let me just rub it on that pretty face for a little bit…”

“ It’d be fine. Almost as fine as you. I’m tired, I’m allowed to be stupid.”

“El, I have never hated you. You’re my little brother, I love you.”

“No the windows are mirrored glass. You should know that, you worked here.”

“Whose is it? Louder”

“Thank you baby. Yeah, thank you for trusting me like you do. […] All I wanna do is prove myself worthy of that trust.”

[syeren]

BATTLE OF WITS.

summary — sampo loves to rile people up, no matter who it is and what rank you are. but, once you step into his life, could he still keep up his uncaring demeanor?

genre — comedic fluff

Sampo is an easy guy, albeit, a con-artist but a real hunk of work. If something doesn’t catch his eye within a second or stimulate his brain for more than a minute… You can say bye-bye to trying to talk to him.

Majority of people view the picture on the vacation postcard of “not-giving-a-shit” and fall in love with the idea — swimming through the clear blue waters in this mental Mediterranean sea can be more deceiving than many think. It’s a one-way ticket to losing the most important skill in life, to feel concern. He for one, couldn’t care in the slightest. It all goes to show as to why he took up the very interesting and controversial means of work in the first place.

But once he stumbled across a person completely opposite to him, he couldn’t help but feel even more irritated. Of course, it was you, with your logical and reasonable thoughts and actions. Your morals were way higher on the scale than his, and he definitely could assume your IQ and EQ followed suit. He never felt so ridiculed and threatened by your demeanour because of this aura of “coolness” and “rationality.” That was the issue, he was always the smart one— or the lack thereof. If both your brains jostled within the ring, his would be pummelled to smithereens.

He wanted to brush off this problem as per usual, forcing himself to play the “unbothered” role because his ego couldn’t handle it anymore (ahh yes, the “be the bigger person” card.) But if this were a choice between mind over matter, the latter would reign dominant. He needs to showcase his true skills, it was his only “skill” anyway.

“Hey,” Sampo called out to you while you fumbled through your satchel. You gave him a quick eyebrow raise in response.

“What’s seven times eight?” he blurted out, standing directly in front with his arms crossed over his puffed chest. Yeesh.

You, on the other hand, gave him an indescribable expression that probably amounted to confusion, irritation, and most likely concern. “What?”

“C’moonn… I don’t have all day!”

Rolling your eyes, you continued to fish out some papers from your bookbag and grumbled the answer. “Fifty-six.”

“— Riddle me this. Imagine you’re in a tough situation where your pal is crying over their partner who was absolutely shit to them. Do you, A, comfort them, B, make fun of them, or C… Listen and give advice.”

Now it was completely indescribable about what you’re feeling or thinking. You slowly looked up to meet his eyes with a blank stare. You were judging him hard.

“… A with a mix of C.”

“No, only one answer!” he protested, wagging his finger in the air.

“Then A.”

He dropped his hand and returned to the same arm-crossed position. “This isn’t fun.”

“You think you’re not having fun? This feels like an interrogation, Sampo,” you playfully snapped, closing your book bag. “The fuck was that about?”

A mere shrug was all he responded with. “Just wanted to… Figure some things out,” he vaguely responded, to which, prompted your irritation even more.

“Sampo—“

“Okay, okay! Just heard from a little bird that you’ve got a head on your shoulders,” he replied in defence. “Wanted to see if it was true or not.”

“Of course I have a head on my shoulders,” you reiterated, shaking your head in disbelief. “What? You mean like, smarter?”

Sampo nodded his head. “Precisely.”

His answer made you immediately chuckle, letting out a breathy laugh. “Shouldn’t this little questionnaire prove the point? Such dumb questions.”

“Hey! They made you think though!” he argued. “Putting you on the spot and such.”

“… Easy questions like that won’t put anyone on the spot.”

Sampo inched even closer as he let out a prideful scoff, flipping his floppy bangs back with calloused fingers. “Fine. I’ll prepare something harder then—“

“Nope,” you interrupted.

“One thing’s for certain, you are one hell of a party pooper,” he stated dejectedly, rolling his eyes as he straightened his posture. “Natasha mentioned you were smart n’ all, but how is that any good if that pretty little head of yours is full of brash comments and half-assed sarcasm.”

“Since when were you and Natasha friends?” you deadpanned, the same sarcastic tone dripping from your lips.

“We always were! Hey! Don’t give me that face!” Sampo responded but as soon as he was speaking, your figure was slowly walking away from him. You lazily waved a hand in the air without turning around.

You, 1. Sampo, 0. Try harder next time, big guy.

[angelbarelywrites]

♡ scenarios | dating negan

♡ fandoms; The Walking Dead

♡ characters; Negan Smith

♡ reader; gender neutral

♡ cw; explicit sexual content

♡ notes; in case anyone forgot i’m technically not a dedicated slasher blog

i put this in sections so i didn’t have to make more than one post lol . also these take place while he’s still the ruler of the saviors. i’ve been obsessed since his first episode oh my god that’s eight years of hyperfixation so that’s usually where my brain goes plot- wise

i’m thinking Billy Butcher is up next? lmk who else we wanna see, Garcia Flynn from Timeless is probably too niche? but i love him so so much

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

I. Kisses/PDA

> negan is an affectionate person

> with his wives it’s just for show- they’re hot, and he wants all his followers jealous of his lifestyle

> but with you, it’s different

> his wives don’t like him, per-se. he’s convenient to be married to and easy on the eyes, but they’re cold to him

> and he knows why, he doesn’t really give a shit. especially now that he has you.

> you may not be his spouse- you’re sure as fuck not letting him call you that without a ring- but he’s even more physical with you

> standing by him? hand on your back. sitting? you’re on his lap. look cold? he gives you his jacket and keeps you tucked under his arm

> “i just like takin’ care of you darlin’”

> and he loves kissing you in front of others- from little pecks to long, lingering kisses that makes other people look away

> he seems possessive, and he doesn’t mind people pointing it out

> it’s not that he doesn’t trust you- it’s never that

> he trusts most of his men too…maybe not simon. because simon loves staring at your ass

> but he’s proud. he’s proud you’re his, and he’s yours, and that he gets to show you off

> and like hell he ever lets anyone forget it

> alone he acts like keeping his hands off you is impossible

> he smacks your ass any time you lean over, pulls you into big bear hugs from behind and randomly pick you up

> he doesn’t ever want you to doubt his feelings for you, and physically is the easiest way for him to show it

> he’s very sexual, big shocker

> but his favorite kisses are sleepy kisses

> you wait late into the night when he’s due home from terrorizing his territories

> some part of you is afraid one day he won’t come home- so you always wait

> you’ll be exhausted, rubbing your eyes and yawning and usually wrapped up in a blanket

> but no matter how long he takes directing his men and double checking inventory and dealing with the dead

> “hey there, baby doll”

> you always run straight into his arms and bury your face in his chest. he’ll laugh and pick you up, kissing you gently before he carries you to bed

> most times he falls asleep on top of the covers with you, eager for the morning when he can make it up to you for being gone so long

II. Sharing a bed

> negan isn’t used to sharing a bed anymore

> the wives have their own rooms just down the hall, and so do you

> no reason for him not to give you at least a little space

> and having a room is the height of luxury in the sanctuary anyways. it’s a perk of dating the boss

> but you don’t know how to tell him you do want to share a bed, even though you’re barely apart when you’re awake

> so you just…don’t. you assume it’s a boundary he wants to keep and don’t mention it

> until the night terrors start up again

> you’ve seen a lot of people die a lot of different ways. most of them people you cared a lot about

> the memories always seem to come back in your dreams no matter how far back you push them

> when you’re woken up by one in the middle of a harsh storm, it’s just a bit too much

> you just can’t stop crying, and it’s loud and you need held. you need him.

> you creep as quietly as you can down the hall, and you hesitate at the door until the thunder crashes again

> when you stumble in he sits up fast with a knife in his fist

> then he gives a slightly annoyed sigh in recognition, relaxing

> “the hell are you doing?”

> “i just- um-“

> you can tell he notices the wobble in your voice and opens his arms up without another smart remark

> “hey, hey, i’ve gotcha..”

> he doesn’t ask questions- you don’t cry for nothing. and he gets nightmares too

> falling asleep in his arms feels natural…so natural it becomes a habit

> and he sleeps better with you too, curled around you and holding you so tight you think he might be worried you’ll disappear

> it’s less than a week before you stop using your bed altogether

III. Let’s get kinky

> he’s happy in pretty much any dominant role, whatever you call him is good enough for him- daddy, sir, master, etc

> and he likes when you call him whatever it is in front of his men

> the only chance of getting your dick/strap in him is if he power bottoms. but 95 percent of the time? you’re receiving and it’s big

> he likes being risky. he’ll take you out to visit settlements just to have an excuse to stop and fuck you in the car

> or even in a house there, just a room over from his men and gagging you with his fingers so you don’t get caught

> not that he’ll care if they catch you anyways

> he has a nice big office- half of the reason he uses it is so he can have you on his lap as a cockwarmer while he reads or looks over inventory numbers

> the other half is so you can suck his dick under the desk while he talks to simon or dwight

> (simon is a raging pervert so he definitely knows, too)

> he loves fucking your face, watching you get all teary eyed and drooling all over yourself from taking his massive cock

> “oh look at the fuckin’ mess you’re making!”

> he’s generous though- he loves reciprocating oral

> and he loves overstimulating you too- whether that’s by edging you for hours or just making you cum again and again and again

> he loves taking you from behind, pushing your face into the mattress and gripping your hips so hard they bruise

> but he also loves when you ride him slow, gasping quietly as he watches you fall apart completely for him

[thezoraprince]

BotW/TotK men as dads

i have baby fever that won't go away

anyway, here's a... something

enjoy <3

Link

oh it’s gonna be wild

most rambunctious child (including Rivan’s)

sweet and caring

but overall, CHAOTIC

will teach his child literally everything he knows

not many words are spoken, but there’s so much love

sign language is a big thing for sure

hugs galore

will defend his child as if his life depended on it

Sidon (i have so many for Sidon, so only adding a little bit here)

so confident

yet so scared

lots of learning

gentle

the love in the household is UNREAL

takes his kid everywhere Mipha took him

the fun is never ending

Bazz

so much unlearning

scared he’s not giving his child enough attention

wants to spend all of his time with them

think’s he’s not good enough of a father

doesn’t know how to have deep; meaningful conversations

doesn’t want to be like his own father

loves and cares SO deeply

once he gets past all the heavy stuff, he’s the best dad a kid could have

Rivan

already a dad, and a good one at that

literally so on top of his game

others cannot compare

takes his kid to work and shows them how cool everyone is

“Bazz is a little on edge because you’re here, but we won’t worry about that.”

the fun dad

Dunma babysits sometimes to give Rivan a break

but he ends up not going anywhere because he loves his little family THAT much

silly af

an actual dilf

perfect father

100000/10

Ledo

so gentle

so kind

will literally gift his kid rocks that look cool

teaches them everything Dento taught him

would probably ask Dento to babysit

has the most well behaved child out of anyone on this list

another apprentice in the making

would hand-make his child toys

Revali

asshole stepdad energy to start with

lots of unlearning

lots of re-learning

scared shitless

once he eventually realizes his actions have consequences, he’ll own up to his mistakes

ends up being a cool dad

“don’t talk to me or my son ever again” energy

takes his child to the flight range everyday

“You’re the best, and don’t forget it.”

Teba

already a dad, and a cool one

Tulin is such a good brother (but man is he a little shit sometimes)

the kids would go to the flight range and Teba would let them go by themselves

not like he has a village to run or anything…

a little more strict than the others on this list, but it’s out of love and safety

trusts Tulin to take care of his younger sibling

goes with both of them to the flight range once every two weeks to watch what they’ve been working on

wants the best for his kids

but doesn’t want to get in the way of their fun

Daruk

a cool dad

wise

also fun

would be the one to take his child to the skatepark

Goron City better watch out, because these two are fly af

funny dad jokes

would call his kid ‘kiddo’ unironically

“kiddo goro”

Yunobo

i cannot see this one as a dad

more like the distant uncle

but he’d be so sweet

and so caring

so afraid he’d fuck up

needs constant reassurance

gentle af

takes things too personally

Tauro

THE cool dad

dilf energy for sure

would take his kid to research the Zonai ruins

and he’d probably end up losing them 30% of the time

don’t worry, they know where they are

uses his research and findings for teaching his child

these two would be the most knowledgable people in Hyrule 

Rauru

the wise one

and SO chill

and helpful af

only takes part in chaos if it’s the fun kind

will shut down ANY ‘funny business’

defends his child with his life

together they pick flowers for Sonia

the love is unmatched

and the surprises are never ending 

[catch1ngmoths]

Alex w s/o has stretch marks and they’re insecure of it? </3 I have them NSJSJANISJS my mom would point them out at me you don’t have to do it pookie bear ‼️‼️ don’t forgor to drink water and don’t starve yourself or stress yourself!! MWAH LIVE YOU POOKIE BEAR ‼️‼️💋

˚₊‧⁺⋆♱ Tiger stripes ˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

Summary: you have have stretch marks and are quite insecure about them; on the contrary, it's one of Alex's favorite physical features about you!

Note: MY BAE! MY BAE! MY BAE!! @billkaulitzsrealgf always makes me giggle and kick my feet fr, I LOVE YOUU🙏 I also have stretch marks on my inner thighs, AND my mom also points them out so I UNDERSTANDDD!! anyways, enjoy :3

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°

The first time he noticed them, he stared for a good while. Enough for you to notice. You started to get nervous, thinking he was staring at them in disgust.

When he noticed how uncomfortable and anxious you looked, he immediately felt bad. he looked up at you and smiled softly, “your stretch marks are beautiful cariño.” Alex says softly

You don’t believe him, thinking he’s just saying that because he caught onto your insecurity. “You don’t have to lie Lex, I know they’re not the most flattering..” you say with a nervous smile

He looks exasperated as you say this, looking at you with his mouth slightly parted. “No no! I actually really love them! They’re hot” he says with a playful and dramatic wink.

You laugh and hit his shoulder, making him laugh more. Ever since that day, he always lays where your stretch marks are. If they’re on your thighs, he lays on your thighs. If they’re on your stomach, he lays on your stomach and exc.

When you’re feeling extra insecure, he’ll trace them with his fingers, even littering little kisses on them. When y’all are getting intimate, he’ll kiss them while kissing down your body RAGHHH (⊙_⊙)

He loves tracing them with his fingers while yall are cuddling and shit, like just running his fingers down them in awe. HE LOVES THE WAY THEY FEEL!!

He just loves you so much, he really doesn’t give a fuck how you look or what features you have. He just loves you and thinks anything you hate about yourself or are insecure of makes you even more unique.

If anyone points them out, in a negative way he won’t hesitate to make them shut the hell up. People can insult him all they want but the moment someone insults YOU?? His beloved? Nah he’s pissed

He’d embarrass the FUCK outta the person that insulted you. And the thing is, he wouldn’t even feel bad! He wouldn’t insult the others persons appearance or anything because he doesn’t believe in that kinda stuff but he’d make them wish they just shut their lips

He’d say something like, “are you actually okay? Like genuinely. What makes you think you were cool for pointing that out like it’s a discusting thing? Funny how nobody’s laughing” he’d say, straight faced. THE OTHER PERSONS COOKED

If multiple people online tweet something like that out he’d probably address it on stream, saying something like:

“I wanna just say something before we start stream. People have been commenting on my s/o’s physical appearance and that’s something I’m not gonna tolerate. They’re such an amazing and supportive person. I’m not and will never be okay with that and I wanna make myself really clear when I say that.”

He’d genuinely do anything for you, not really caring what other people think or say because at the end of the day he loves you and that’s all that matters in his eyes!! Bbg loves you SO MUCH!

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°

[sundewhasaudhd]

Ok, let’s do this. So, this is my main DSMP AU

Jesus, the timeline of this thing so confusing, because most of the content for this AU was written down, it was me and my friend talking in character at 12:00-4:00am, so this probably won’t be fully concrete, and I’m still figuring out the main plot points and what’s canon to the AU. But a basic summary(ish) is: Dream got put back in prison (along with George), but not before messing with Ranboo’s memory book, so now he can possess Ranboo. Lots of shit happened, but I mainly focus on TNT duo (because they’re my sillies and I love them). TNT duo at this point basically just have a rivals with benefits sort of thing going on. Then, one day, Wilbur asked out Quackity, and he said yes. They went on that date, and had a great time, until, Quackity asked Wilbur to join Las Nevadas. Wilbur said he felt like he didn’t think he deserve it, Quackity took it SUPER personally (because of source he did), and then this occurred (I’m only showing the script because I’m not sure how else to describe it) (Wilbur’s W and Dream’s D if you couldn’t tell):

This interaction resulted in what I like to call “Wilbur’s self isolation arc”, where because he thinks he’s the worst person alive, he tries to shut out everyone who he thinks cares about him (which is literally just three people). And this works(ish), until he tries to it Quackity (kind of [I’ll post that script later {probably}]), and Quackity does NOT let that happen. Some time after that, Quackity asks Wilbur again if he to join Las Nevadas, to which Wilbur says yes this time (for reasons that make sense with context, I promise), and the major events after that are stuff that I consider spoilers, which I will gradually post after I post most of the stuff leading up to that. Geez, I really hope you like this and that this sounds interesting. If u want to hear me info dump about this AU to you, feel to message me about it on Tumblr :]. Anyways, I’m gonna go reread some script and scroll through Tumblr and Pinterest l, have a good day/night everyone, thank you for reading these, bye :D

[moreespressoformydepresso]

I was thinking about my AU’s where the tributes get their medical care after all the fixing and for a while now I’ve had it in my head that most of them don’t know what good medical care actually looks like so I decided to type it out!

So it’s pretty clear the Capitol oppresses the districts and treats them like shit at every opportunity, even if it’s against their own benefits. Treating them better and helping them advance would probably lead to more productivity, better products and far lower chance of a second rebellion but it’s apparently more fun to be an evil scumbag so into the toilet we go. This probably means they don’t let the Districts have any medical care, even if keeping your workers happy is a better decision. Meanwhile, the Capitol has all this fancy medical equipment like defibrillators and oxygen masks and anesthesia and stuff. Now imagine a bunch of terrified, injured kids who do not trust anyone but each other suddenly having all these unfamiliar machines shoved in their face while people in white lab coats prepare to inject them with a needle containing heavens know what kind of weird fluid.

That’s… not gonna go over well

Predictably, the kids all freak out and while their reactions are dimmed due to the several peacekeepers with guns surrounding them, quite a few like Reaper and Coral are still putting up a fight, several others are currently having a panic attack because “Oh no they’re gonna kill us anyway” and everyone is far too tense to be given the anesthetics necessary.

So what’s the solution? Having the mentors sit with their tributes and explain what’s going on because these kids will not believe anybody else. It’s the best option right now, and it would be especially interesting if this is emergency care and thus happening in a public space somewhere so people can see that. They can see the effects of their behavior in real time as literal 12-year-olds know not to take a Capitol citizen’s word for anything.

What makes doing this so interesting to me is the possibility to explore the different levels of effectiveness in this strategy and everyone’s way of handling it. Tributes like Lucy Gray, Jessup, Lamina, and Dill would calm down and listen to what their mentors are saying, possibly asking curious questions about how all of this works in more depth. Teslee and Circ would already know the technical stuff and ask about the more hands-on kinds of treatment, because they know this is gonna happen whether they like it or not so they try to distract themselves from it with curiosity.

Meanwhile, tributes like Bobbin, Reaper, Treech and Brandy are not calmed down in the slightest. Reaper stares Clemensia down with clear distrust and only ends up unhappily letting this happen because of Dill, Bobbin is slowly starting to get angrier and angrier with every snippy comment he throws Juno’s way about all the reasons he dislikes her. Brandy looks one wrong move away from a murder (though in fairness Arachne is only just starting to crack the code on how the tributes are just kids so she wasn’t the best person to be doing this anyway) and Treech is relaxing his muscles but he isn’t calming down at all. It becomes pretty clear with the several nervous glances he’s just scared Vipsania will punish him somehow for not complying, which she could given the peacekeepers around. She has to reassure him she won’t and be far more vulnerable and honest about her inner conflict since meeting him in order to make him (very reluctantly) give her the benefit of the doubt.

Marcus may clearly dislike Sejanus, but he does trust him enough to let the medical stuff happen and Sejanus goes around to help the mentors who are struggling with calming their tributes down. You can pry these two slowly reconciling from my cold dead hands and my ghost will just come to steal it back.

I think it would show the Capitol these kids are all different people, and moreover it would show them that they’re just reacting to the way they’re being treated. They’re fully capable of trusting Capitol citizens, but as Bobbin so helpfully makes them understand: some of them don’t have any reason to. Why trust someone with your life when you couldn’t even trust them to bring you food? When it’s so obvious they just needed you for their own gain or you’ve lost so much to the Capitol already that it just isn’t worth the risk?

Idk I thought it might be fun to explore

[queenofallimagines]

Meguru Bachira with a black s/o

LISTEN!! I picked up the 2 volume of the manga on accident when I went to target and I’m in love w him the man of my dreams!! Not taking blue lock right now bc besides Isagi and kunigami i don’t remember any other characters name or anything about them😅 feel free to talk to me about him tho I have SO many thoughts👀

** can you tell this is just me rambling 💀

Megaru💕:

- this pic gives me butterflies holy shit

- WHEW this man has huge unhinged sunshine energy

- Like giggling and kicking my feet how he’s the happy go lucky character trope (I.e hinata) but they make sure you remember he’s not “soft”

- Like the way y’all be uwuing hinata that is a grown man😐 he was throwing fists the WHOLE SERIES but he don’t know about sex? Bffr

- Anyway he’s definitely a switch but kinda leaning more top? he definitely just wants to fuck he don’t care who’s on top

- He’s so cuddly it’s adorable

- Getting neon yellow nails to match his hair>>>

- Definitely would like to match fits w you when y’all step out

- WOULD GET YOU AN ANKLE BRACELET W HIS INITIALS ON IT SO HE CAN KISS YOUR ANKLE WHEN HE PUTS YOUR LEGS OVER HIS SHOULDERS!!

- Most fashionable couple FR

- Always has to be touching you in some way

- Holding your hand, arm around you, hand in your pockets

- Wants to make sure you’re there and won’t slip away from him

- Imagining him going to meet your family and he’s SWEATING like he knows he’s not everyone’s cup of tea and really doesn’t want to start anything

- “You are good at soccer so you have like + 100 points right now”(watching Latino people watch the football on the Olympics is so scary 😫)

- Imagine your family watching his games😭 embarrassing bc now I’m imagining a room full of dads and uncles glued to the tv and cheering him on like he can hear it💀💀

- “You so skinny you need to eat more!”

- He’s charming your aunties to steal plates from your house

- You get in the car and he has like 3 Tupperwares full of left overs

- Great with kids because they think he’s cool

- he’s breaking they ankles in soccer tho he’s not gunna play nice w kids

- If “play where it’s safe cuz it’s NOT over here” was a person

- Like he can go 0-100 in a millisecond so if someone tries him

- Very “who’s gon beat my ass about it??” Type beat

- People think y’all are so cute bc he’s so smiley and sweet to you

- DEFINITELY says filthy shit in your ear too

- Like he’s cuddly w everyone he likes so you’d be no different but he’s slipping his hands up your shirt

- Number one hype man when you get your hair done

- So extra

- “My baby so cute🥹🥹”

- Box braids are his favorite bc he can put charms and stuff in your hair

- also medium long locs bc imagining him walking up to you and pushing them out your face to see your eyes🥺

- Freak

- Probably sends you links to sex toys and is like

- “👀👀??”

-“I’m a visual learner btw”

- The MOST unserious character in this whole series so far

- His song is rodeo but just the flo Milli verse i WILL NOT ELABORATE!!

- Once he get to doing that thing where he lower his voice just call in sick bc you probably not walking

- Not that he doesn’t care about your pleasure it’s more he’s fucking until HE taps out so your brains can be soup but he’s not done so,,,,hold on?

- If you like me and a few inches shorter than him will be smug about it

- His personality is big enough to count as a size kink but being a little taller makes him get a big head

- Talks you through it the whole time

- Switching back and fourth between degrading and praise so fast it makes your head spin

- “Hm? Don’t tell me my little slut is tapping out? You were begging me so nicely earlier”

- only one who can say babygirl and it not be cringe 🤭

- “be a good boy and spread your legs for me, hm?”

- Really sloppy kisser during sex too

- Will tell you to stick your tongue out for him

- On the rougher side of kinky stuff

- Fucks you like it’s the last time he ever will every time

- Don’t care about getting caught bc either way he’s not stopping

- Probably how you’d end up sleeping w him and Isagi I fear

- Isagi is so sweet and megaru is MEAN

- Isagi trying to go slow and be gentle and Megaru over here pulling your hair calling you a pretty whore

- this man In grey sweatpants would end me

- APART OF THE SHORT KING BIG DICK CREW

- he’s tall by Japanese standards but juuuuust 3cm above average in American height

- he already walks out the shower naked w NO care in the world

- probably walks around the house like that too Ngl

- “I am returning to the natural state of my birth” I will glue your clothes to your body sir :/

- feel like he’s more girth than length like don’t get me wrong he def has a third leg but he’s gunna have to work you open

- “ Oh don’t worry, I’ll make sure it fits”

- Act right dick™️ so don’t push him too far in public

- Definitely a bad influence!! You’re trying to be normal in public and he gives you a look

- Next thing you know he’s on his knees for you in a bathroom or an empty hallway🙄

- In the locker room so many times the rest of his friends already know, and when you two disappear they not stepping foot in there

- Buys you lingerie because he’s your biggest hype man

- When you feel confident you’re the most sexy

- “Mmm you look so good in that cute outfit, you won’t be too mad if I tear it off right?”

- Spreads your legs wide and will make you look in the mirror and watch as he fingers you open

- The type of man who fucks you so good you would get his name tatted on your ass

- Your family actually is probably like “don’t you go corrupting that sweet boy”

- And behind closed doors he’s got his hand holding your hair in a tight fist as he makes himself comfy in your throat

- “Let me hold your hair up for you💕”

- L$D- asap Rocky is also his song

[saturdaynightghostclub]

This is totally just about my personal life and I can’t necessarily generalize it, but I do feel like I’m encountering a certain sort of insecure standoffish behavior more and more in people my age and it’s really bugging me.

So many people I know approach new acquaintances and social situations with this attitude of “Well, they probably won’t like me anyway, so I won’t even try,” which I find both really juvenile and really unkind. And don’t get me wrong, I do think there’s a time and a place for not caring what people think of you, but when it comes to your attitude and the way you treat other people, you absolutely SHOULD care what they think. You SHOULD want people to like you, or at least not actively hate you, and assuming that everyone you meet is the type of person who won’t is frankly pretty mean. Obviously not everyone is going to like you or want to be your friend, but that doesn’t mean you get to enter every potential relationship like an antisocial ghoul and then be mad that you have no friends? Make this make sense.

It goes hand in hand with this super annoying deal where people throw all their energy into resisting whatever’s popular for the sake of being interesting, failing to realize that not only are they unoriginal but they’re a complete bummer to be around as well. I really assumed we’d all grown out of this, but I’m well into my twenties and encountering people relatively frequently who cannot stand to have anyone think of them as “basic” or “like the rest” or what have you, and I can’t help but wonder if they’re happy with themselves. It’s so corny to say, but the most interesting people are those who like what they like, wear what they want, etc without feeling like they need to justify it to everyone. Nobody is paying close enough attention to you to judge you for half the shit you’re convinced you’re being judged for, I promise.

[animusicnerd]

Every time I read another fantasy book with faeries, I die a little inside and not in a good way.

Anyway, let’s talk about some faery lore I found and probably will incorporate into my Lilia story out of spite and because I like it and wanna see it more.

Faeries can’t lie.

I’ve only seen like two authors do this so far (Holly Black and Emily Lloyd-Jones). A lot of other fantasies authors like SJM didn’t include it which I think is a real waste in potential for how high the stakes could get. They take everything in a literal sense and one sentence can easily kill someone or destroy their if they’re not careful. You literally have to think before you speak and if you’re not used to speaking that way, it’s all the more dangerous especially if you’re a human in the faerie realm. Whenever authors talk about the dangers of the faeries, it’s usually just the creatures in the woods and deals being made which downgrade the danger for me, in my opinion.

Having Lilia and Malleus not being able to lie would just be really fun especially where I’m going with in my story 💀. More stakes, more danger is just exciting and challenging to write because I have to be careful since majority of the cast of this story are faeries.

Iron burns faeries.

Personally, I like to think that Malleus and Lilia wear gloves most of the time because NRC just has a lot of iron things and they can’t be bothered to always check twice before touching something. It becomes tedious to them so wow gloves?? Easy fix for them.

Also since faeries are immortal and not much seems to hurt them, I just think it’s neat that iron would be the go-to for hurting them for information, killing them off and the like on top of magic use.

Iron also burns Maleficient in the live-action movies so…

Faery food is dangerous to humans.

I have like one human character (not reader) so it probably won’t be present as much but I just think it would be neat. Faery food is dangerous to humans because it puts them in a trance-like state. It makes humans want to stay with the fair folk forever as long as it’s fed at regular intervals from what I assume. The magic does wear off but again, if fed at regular intervals, humans could possibly stay in that mindless state forever.

Faeries are ruthless.

Seeing as they like to mess around with humans for fun (example: leading travelers off their paths, stealing items, etc.), I don’t think people should be surprised they are.

Malleus himself already seems to have a short-temper (almost roasted magicam monsters, got irritated when Rook asked why he appeared after Vil OB) and takes pleasure in seeing some of the other students suffer. He talks about wanting to see Azul cry and wanting to see Vil’s breakdown. I’m a little fuzzy on the details but yeah. Lilia also likes scaring people so there’s that. They’re both sadistic in their own ways whether you believe it or not.

Faeries are expected to be treated with respect and if not, you will get punished in some way. In a lot of cultures that includes stealing your children or making you sick in some way. I know that for Filipinos and Chamorros, you always have to say excuse me before you do your business in the jungle or else shit happens to you so yeah. Sometimes, it seems as if they’ll straight up torture you if you piss them off enough.

They also won’t hesitate to backstab their own it seems because from reading up on a lot of lore and Fae fantasy based stories, it sure as hell seems that way.

So basically, faeries are hella petty and would get you back a hundredfold if you piss them off.

Faeries have a hard time conceiving children.

To be honest, I’m not sure if this is true??? So to speak. I say this because I mostly see it in fantasy books, not through actual lore.

However, I do like it because it gives reason why faeries would take human lovers or their children (though from what I see, it’s mostly for entertainment or to get more servants?). Also, if they have a hard time conceiving children, it means that they value their young very much.

So you know, imagine being the only heir to the throne with no other family members in sight other than your grandmothers.

Just imagine the levels of protecting that would be taken to ensure your safety 🙂

Names have power.

This is for my own entertainment mostly. Having a faerie’s true name would allow you to control them so as always, be careful with wording.

Meaning don’t say, “My name is….”

Saying, “You may call me…” or giving faeries a nickname would stop you from being under their control if you haven’t already done that somehow.

However, I do headcanons that more powerful faeries aren’t subjected to that because of sheer will and pride in themselves so it probably won’t be present as much either lmao

That’s probably most of the general lore I’m including for now. I’m no expert so most of this is just things I’ve learned from fantasy series or my own research! Also, I doubt most of these are canon in Twisted Wonderland anyway. Except maybe the iron one since that is canon in the Maleficient movies but who knows.

[the-desolated-quill]

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga - Review

Not going to lie, I didn’t go into this film with high expectations. I loved Mad Max: Fury Road, and Charlize Theron’s Furiosa was a big reason for that. So the idea of doing a Furiosa prequel without the woman who helped make the character so iconic in the first place in my opinion seemed destined to fail, even with director and Mad Max creator George Miller still at the helm. Not to mention prequels are notoriously difficult to get right because you’re already at a disadvantage thanks to the audience’s prior knowledge of what’s to come. It’s hard to get people to care about your film when they already know how it will end.

Never have I been so disappointed to be right.

Anya Taylor-Joy is no Charlize Theron. Her shoes would be difficult to fill for even the most accomplished actress, and Taylor-Joy barely touches the sides. I don’t exactly rate her highly as a performer because in the few films I’ve seen her in she only ever seems to have one facial expression; vacant bewilderedness. But in her defence, she really has almost zero material to work with. It’s amazing really. Mad Max: Fury Road was able to tell a compelling story with very little exposition or dialogue. Furiosa, on the other hand, has tons of exposition and dialogue and yet has no story. To summarise the plot would be a fool’s errand because there really isn’t a plot to summarise. There’s some warlord played by Chris Hemsworth, wearing a very unconvincing prosthetic nose, who wants to take over Immortan Joe’s territory, except we know he won’t succeed and his reasons for why are vague and uninteresting. Furiosa gets passed from warlord to warlord like an unwanted sweater, and then she remembers that her mother was killed by these psychos and she should probably avenge her I guess. Meanwhile Immortan Joe (in name only because the original actor died and this new guy they’ve got cosplaying as him has all the stage presence of an irritable floor manager at your local supermarket) is busy discussing politics with his son Rictus, the People Eater, the Bullet Farmer and that guy from the Mad Max video game everyone has forgotten about. And good God do these guys love to talk. They talk and talk and talk some more, and then Chris Hemsworth arrives and starts talking and talking, and then some guy covered in tattoos starts talking and talking. There’s so much talking in this movie and yet, strangely, nobody is actually saying anything.

This film is an excellent example of the difference between story and lore. Furiosa has loads of lore. Loads of lore. But the story is practically non-existent and the information they provide is neither valuable nor necessary. This film is essentially a theatrical reenactment of the Mad Max wiki. No stone is left unturned. Ever wondered how the Organic Mechanic came to work for Immortan Joe? No? Well we’re going to tell you anyway. Do you want to know how the People Eater came to be in charge of Gas Town? Tough shit if you don’t because we’re going to lay it all out for you in laborious detail. Were you curious as to how the War Rig was built? I hope you were. Because we’re going to dedicate a significant section of the film detailing how it was built and them test running the fucking thing before having to fight a bunch of nameless goons in quite possibly the most boring action scene ever put to film. (This was the cardinal sin for me. I was so bored I actually fell asleep. The only time I’ve ever fallen asleep in a cinema was during that twenty minute underwater sequence in Avatar: The Way Of Water. Dozing off during James Cameron’s CGI circlejerk is one thing. Dozing off during a Mad Max film should be impossible).

It’s hard to believe this was made by the same person behind Fury Road. Back then George Miller seemed to understand that there was no point in bogging the narrative down in pointless exposition or needless backstories. What mattered was the characters, the relationships, the here and now. Remember the scene when Furiosa discovered her home was destroyed long ago and she takes her mechanical arm off, falls to her knees and screams her head off. All that pain and anguish and sorrow and regret all perfectly conveyed without a single line of dialogue. What can a prequel possibly add to this scene? Does knowing that Furiosa’s mother was beaten and burned alive in front of her when she was a little girl make that scene any more powerful? Of course not. It’s just an unnecessary detail that I didn’t need nor do I really care about. She lost her mother. Okay. So? I had already assumed that from watching Fury Road. I didn’t need her life story explained to me in a PowerPoint presentation. I suppose the only thing I was vaguely interested in was how Furiosa lost her arm, and even that is anticlimactic. She basically loses it by accident in a car chase. Now some of you may be getting annoyed that I’m giving away ‘spoilers’, but the truth is there’s nothing really to spoil. There’s no plot. Only lore. Specifically lore nobody really asked for in the first place. They don’t even bother fleshing out Furiosa’s relationship with the Wives. How’s that for irony? Fury Road was deservedly praised for its feminist themes and giving its female characters agency. Meanwhile the prequel has its male characters spouting literal pages of dialogue while the women, including Furiosa, get almost zero development and barely get a line in edgeways. Oops.

Furiosa astounds me. It astounds me that it’s made by the same man who made Fury Road. It astounds me that after nine years of struggling to get this film off the ground that this is the best George Miller can come up with. It astounds me that this cost $168 million to make when it would be much cheaper, quicker and less painful for the audience to just smack them in the face with a copy of the Mad Max Encyclopedia and be done with it. It astounds me that this boring slog of a film is actually getting positive reviews when this is a textbook example of how NOT to do a prequel. I’m just astounded. Apparently this film is bombing at the box office. Good. That may sound harsh, but it’s true. This is one of the most mind numbing, dull, pointless films I’ve ever had the displeasure of sitting through, and I’m never going to get those 150 hours back.

Sorry, did I say hours? It sure felt like hours.

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

hello! hope you’re having a good day so far <3 i was wondering if i could have some headcanons of any of the class 1-a students (feel free to pick the ones you wanna write for in case you don’t want to write for the entire class!) reacting to the fem! reader (their crush) gaining small crushes on random people in public or online? for example, she’ll be at a store and if she comes across a cashier she thinks is cute, she’ll text her friends something like “GUYS OMG. I GOT MY STUFF CHECKED OUT BY A CUTE CASHIER. I’M DOWN SO BAD FOR THEM AND IT’S NOT EVEN LIKE I HAVE A CHANCE 😭” or maybe she’ll come across a cute cosplayer cosplaying her favorite anime character on social media and send a link to her friends like “HOLY SHIT LOOK HOW HOT THIS COSPLAYER IS JJAJAJSJSJ”. how jealous would the students be? hehe 😉 tysm! 💕

(OH MY GOD IM SORRY FOR TAKING A LONG TIME TO MAKE THIS!! MY DUMBASS KEPT PROCRASTINATING BUT ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST, I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!)

1A with a FEM! Reader that Gets Small Crushes Easily

(Characters Included- Mina, Kirishima, Iida, Denki, Tokoyami, and Tsuyu)

(Warning: Jealousy)

Mina Ashido

- Mina would probably get a little jealous, but she would still be super excited about your small crush.

- She will ask LOTS and LOTS of questions and will DEMAND answers from you. “What did they look like?!”,“How cute are they?!”, “Are they super hot?!”

- If you saw a hot cashier she will ask what store they work at so that she can see for herself.

- Would be extremely happy for you but would still be a bit sad obviously because you’re her crush.

Eijiro Kirishima

- Like Mina, he would be a little jealous. When you’re talking about your crush, if he gets jealous at the person who you’re talking about he would be disappointed in himself because he thinks it’s not very manly to be jealous of others.

- He would go to the Bakusquad to cheer him up.

- Bakugou and Mina are the main ones that help him, even though Bakugou is angry all the time he still cares for his friends.

Tenya Iida

- At first he would be very confused at the feeling of jealousy. He will sit on his bed, thinking about this feeling.

- Eventually he will go to the Dekusquad and ask for some advice. Or he might ask his brother.

- He doesn’t like the feeling of jealousy so when he can he’ll go and train to distract himself.

Denki Kaminari

- Very similar to Mina.

- If you are talking about a girl crush you have he will ask TONS of questions. He wants to see pictures of the girl you have a crush on.

- Even though he’s a little sad, he will still hype you up and encourage you to talk to them the next time you run into them.

Fumikage Tokoyami

- He would act like he doesn’t care, but he does a TINY bit.

- Probably would listen to “Brutal” by Olivia Rodrigo because of this situation.

- He won’t get that jealous because he knows that there’s plenty of fish in the sea.

- When you are talking about your crush dark shadow will come out and say “OOOO YOU HAVE A CRUSH!~ WHO’S THE LUCKY PERSON!” Meanwhile Tokoyami is yelling at him.

Tsuyu Asui

- She wouldn’t be necessarily jealous but instead she would be sad. You would never know that she’s sad on the inside every time you talk about your crush.

- BUT she is happy for you and is willing to listen to all your rants about how it should be illegal to be that hot/cute.

- She knows that it’s most likely just a small crush and nothing major will happen.

Masterlist

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Greetings and salutations and welcome to the FIRST EPISODE of what I’m calling

Bedtime Stories With PCE

Let me explain.

So I, like many other people, make up little stories in my head in my downtime, particularly when trying to fall asleep, and for the past year or so those stories have been South Park related, and wound up driving me to make an ao3 and actually write those stories down and curse the cyberspace with them, but the thing is, not all of my mental stories make it to even my notes, because I didn’t have the intention of writing them down. Either because they’re way too self indulgent and most people would be bored with lack of plot, or they’re just a continuation of an old Whumpshot that I think abt before bed, and I feel like if I were to put these bedtime stories out there it would be SUPER annoying, ESPECIALLY because

A lot of my little bedtime mental stories are OrangeJuiceVerse. Which is off putting enough as is, because I feel like while the series is all essentially stand alone stories that take place in the same universe, people look at a series with over 19 works and get overwhelmed because to be fair, that’s a lot even if most are oneshots. So I wanted to start a tumblr exclusive series, for the handful of people who would welcome the stuff I don’t feel confident enough to put on ao3, my little continuations to things that didn’t warrant a chapter 2 structurally, that kind of thing.

So, here’s the first episode! the most self indulgent couple thousand words of Stan taking care of an injured Kyle that I have ever done, following the events of Bicycle Lane , if ya read it lmk what you think, y’all know the drill, here

•covered•

Kyle woke up again without Stan beside him, and to to the noise of his phone ringing on the nightstand. Against his better judgement, he answered, already disgruntled at seeing the caller ID.

“Can I help you?” He grumbled.

Cartman’s grin was audible. “So you’re alive.”

Yep, this asshole would never learn to start a call like a normal person. “Why would you think I wasn’t alive, fatass?”

“Uh, because you look at least half dead in the picture your dildo sent?”

Kyle pulled the phone away from his face to open the ‘SP Survivors’ group, and groaned. Stan had sent a photo of Kyle, asleep with one arm draped over his eyes and the other holding Moose to his chest like a kid with a stuffed animal, and the caption was “Speak No Evil Take No Shit Broflovski won’t let a car take him out 🤘🏻”, which was definitely Stan’s attempt at calming himself by joking about the events of the day. Just without nearly enough context, naturally.

“I can’t believe he sent you guys that,” Kyle groaned.

“So you actually did get hit by a car?” Cartman’s tone took on that thinly veiled concern of his. “You hurt, bitch?”

Kyle rolled his eyes and glanced at the open bedroom door, pretty annoyed that he was starting to feel the ache in his body again now that he was fully awake, not to mention that he had woken up alone, but his boyfriend and cat were probably just downstairs. “I’m alright, jackass. Just banged up, but not bad.”

“Good, because if you died, the hippie would totally kill himself, and I plan weddings, not funerals.”

“That’s NOT fucking FUNNY, Cartman!!!”

He heard footsteps on the stairs after raising his voice. Thank God.

Cartman snickered. “Sorry, sorry, I think it is, though. Did you get a look at the license plate so you could sue the driver?”

“No, dude, it was fast as shit and they barely hit me anyway.”

“Traffic cams, idiot. You show the courts the picture of your battered little body, go to the er and milk it for all it’s worth, get a doctor to testify-“ of course Cartman was already scheming.

“I’m hanging up on you.”

“Not if I hang up on you first.” Then he added, “I’m glad you’re okay.” And dropped the call. Asshole always had to get the last word in.

Kyle laughed weakly and covered his eyes again, pulling his hand away only when he felt a tiny weight jump onto the bed. “Hi, little man.”

“Don’t know what world you’re in that’s got you calling me “little”, dude,” Stan joked, joining them.

Stan knew full well Kyle was talking to the cat. And he felt a thousand times better when Stan leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Hi, baby, you okay? When did you wake up from your nap?”

“Mm. Hi. A few minutes ago when Cartman called.”

Moose butted his little head against Kyle’s hand, looking to get pets. Stan smiled apologetically. “Yeah, sorry, dude, I figured the guys would call me for details since you were, like, asleep in the picture.”

“You know how Cartman is.” Kyle waited for Stan to get settled and then shifted himself so that his head was on his partner’s shoulder. “Did you have a panic attack while I was out? That why you went around telling the group that I faced off against a car?”

“Not a panic attack,” Stan assured him. “I just-I went to get our shit out of the truck and I was gonna start fixing your bike, and then I got to thinking about it again, what could have happened, you on the side of the road like that, you know.”

So definitely close to a freak out then. “Poor Stan.” Kyle placed a hand over Stan’s chest, feeling his heartbeat. “I’m okay, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

“You’re gonna stay that way,” Stan declared, his voice sounding like he did when he got really into a cause, like last year when he recruited Kyle’s ever eager to protest something mother for an anti-seaworld campaign. “Because I’m gonna nurse you back to health and never let anything happen to you again.”

Dramatic, cheesey, adorable, overprotective loser. Kyle snorted. “Nurse me back to health? What, am I a maiden who caught some mysterious illness and now must languish on the sitting room couch while my suitors bring me flowers? Is this a Jane Austen novel? What’s next, we have a dramatic kiss in the rain?”

The attempt to lighten the mood worked. Stan laughed and tenderly pressed his lips to his cheek.

“Sarcastic little fuck,” Stan chuckled. “Moose, I’m only giving your father a pass to be an asshole because he’s in pain and he’s cute.”

Moose had fallen asleep between them.

“Staniel, I have literally had worse, and so have you.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna baby you.”

He’d let Stan baby him, just a little, but only because he’d nearly had a full breakdown seeing Kyle hurt in the snow. Kyle would still pretend to argue against the coddling. “You better not-“

He was cut off by Stan’s phone vibrating with a FaceTime request from Kenny. Stan held it up with a grin.

“At least Ken has some sense.” He answered, and Kenny’s voice flooded forth.

“Stan the man! Show me the firefox!”

Kyle rolled his eyes at the nickname before Stan held his arms out farther to get them both in frame. “Hey, Ken.”

Marj popped into the screen too. “Kyle Broflovski! You’re tellin’ me you got hit by a car?! You better explain, mister.”

“I didn’t get hit by a car, it was more like a tap,” he insisted. “Driver didn’t even notice, it was so fast.”

Kenny gave a low whistle. “Still, though. Shit’s wild. You hurt bad?”

Stan handed him the phone so he could run his fingers through Kyle’s hair. Kyle showed his friends the bruise across his arm from trying to break the fall, which had developed into a blotchy purple over the past few hours.

“Gnarly, right? But it’s just some bruises and a twisted ankle. I’ll live. You guys tell Stan he doesn’t need to baby me.”

Marj laughed incredulously; Kenny grinned and shook his head. “That’ll be a sunny day in hell.”

“Huh?” Stan paused playing with Kyle’s hair. “Dude, the saying is cold day in hell.”

“Yes, but a lot of hell is actually cold, other than the lakes of fire and shit,” Kenny explained with that mischievous smile of his, like this should be common knowledge. “There’s no sun down there, though.”

Kyle was thoroughly confused, but his leg hurt and he needed to use the bathroom, so he didn’t ask for clarification. Plus even if he didn’t want to end the call, he’d learned that Kenny’s explanations for some of the stuff he said only confused you more.

He sighed. “I’ll take your word for it, man. Thanks for checking on me, guys.”

“Hey, we gotta keep an eye on each other, even if we went our separate ways,” Kenny said. “Can I draw a comic of you fist fighting Lightning McQueen?”

“He already started it,” Marj added.

Naturally. “Yeah, yeah, go for it. Love you guys.” He passed the phone back to his boyfriend.

“We’ll keep everyone updated,” Stan promised, like this was a life or death situation and not something that would have him laid up for two days, tops. “Bye, guys.”

“Peace.”

“Bye! Hope ya feel better!”

Kyle rolled his eyes again when Stan hung up. “Dude, should I be expecting a call from my mom next?”

Stan chuckled. “Nah, I figured you’d obliterate me if I told her.”

“And you were correct.” Because that would result in not only a three hour call, but also Sheila driving up so she could smother him. Kyle sat up slowly, irritated to discover that his back was stiff now too. “Bathroom quest,” he mumbled, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He didn’t push away Stan’s arm around his waist either.

“Easy, easy.” Stan helped him up, warm and gentle as ever. “Can you put any weight on it?”

When he did, it didn’t feel great, admittedly. The bruises on the outside of his calf from the car grazing him ached with the weight at standing, his ankle was pretty sore, and his knee felt stiff. But it was for sure more annoying than, like, agonizing or something, so he gave Stan’s arm a comforting squeeze.

“It’s not that bad.” But he figured he’d let his partner take care of him if he wanted, because Stan had been really fucking scared this afternoon, and Kyle knew he needed this. “You can help me, dude, just don’t try to hold me up while I piss or something.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Stan said with a smile, helping him walk carefully across the hall. “You got it?”

“Yes, honey, I got it.” Kyle sighed when he shut the bathroom door. Ignoring the sting of the abrasions on his palms when he braced his hands on the counter, he studied his reflection.

If he was completely honest, reality was finally starting to set in. He hadn’t fully accepted until Cartman mentioning funerals that, well, he could have died. Kyle could keep it together for Stan’s sake, but it was starting to get to him too. If that car had been going any faster, if they’d been a few inches closer, if he hadn’t been wearing his helmet, if he’d been knocked into oncoming traffic rather than into the ditch…

Kyle quickly peed and limped back over to the sink to wash his hands. There was cat hair stuck to the bandaid on his right hand, which helped a little to see. He was okay now. He was at home with his sweet blue eyed boys, both of whom would be ridiculously affectionate, but right now, seeing the (well tended) scratch at his hairline in the mirror, the gravity of everything kept tugging at him.

Can’t panic right now, Kyle told himself. He was a damn middle school counselor, had been for a couple months, and he had grown up with what he now knew was generalized anxiety (thank you, psychology degree). He knew the signs of a ‘what if’ spiral and when it was more helpful to “play the movie” or focus on the present.

Chronologically organizing where he’d been versus where he was now was an exercise his therapist during outpatient in high school had taught him, to contextualize progress and the order of events, keep out of the spiral of hypotheticals. Okay.

He’d ridden to the library down the road when Stan went to the gym, because his boyfriend was trying to get back into a routine of self care since coming out of a depressive slump and working out reminded him that he was alive. Kyle’s library mission was to find more book recommendations for his students that were a little more recent than his personal favorites, and he’d started the ride home with a decent list of YA novels and a few authors to research for the next time a kid was sent to his office not feeling engaged. He had been particularly excited to revisit the Inheritance series and order some paperbacks for his desk library that students who just needed some quiet time could choose from when there was a *vrzroom!* and he was flying off his bike, immediately pissed.

Not scared, not upset. Pissed.

Which was the whole reason Kyle didn’t drive unless he really needed to; because he got awful road rage when other drivers were fucking stupid. So, yeah, his first reaction was to be mad upon landing in dirty snow and seeing that his bike was definitely not in good enough shape to ride home and neither was he. His second reaction was to call Stan, and then call him again when the first time went to voicemail, because Stan would always rescue him if he needed it.

Another thing that had him mad was that while only a few cars had passed during this time, someone should have stopped. It’s that whole “oh no, someone else’ll help” hive mind mentality. Kyle was that person who stopped if he saw someone in trouble. So was his boyfriend.

God, Stan had been so visibly close to a full breakdown there in the beginning. Kyle got it now.

With one more mental reminder to stay in the here and now, Kyle pulled open the door and let Stan pick him up.

“Baby, you look like you just saw a ghost,” Stan said gently. Yeah. He was safe. Stan had him.

“Mm okay.” He wasn’t sure if he was reassuring himself or Stan. Probably both. “I think I just need some water.”

“Here.” Stan set him back on the bed and grabbed the massive “Ass Pro Shops” tumbler (another Kenny custom job) from the nightstand. Ice cubes clinked inside, which made Kyle’s heart ache with fondness; Stan had refilled his water while he was sleeping.

Moose settled himself back on Kyle’s chest after Kyle set the cup down. Stan sat on the mattress, carefully pulling Kyle’s legs into his lap. He was wearing one Breaking Bad sock and the other had Godzilla on it, and Kyle felt the back of his eyes burn again, because he was just so fucking cute, with that worried expression and the stupid mismatched socks and the Fall Out Boy shirt that was tight in the shoulders but he’d been too awkward to tell the Hot Topic employee she’d grabbed the wrong size when he bought it. And Kyle actually did almost cry at his partner’s broken murmured, “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, dude, hey. No, why are you sorry?”

“I- I missed your call, you could’ve-“

“Stan, I’m okay.” He was okay. “We’re not doing this again, sweetheart, I’ll be good as new soon; yeah I’m a little beat up, but gimme a few days and I’ll be back to normal.”

Once again, he was saying that just as much for his own sake. And he definitely wouldn’t tell Stan about Cartman’s comment regarding Stan killing himself if Kyle died. Absofuckinglutely not. But really, he WAS alright. Stan took a deep breath and smiled that dimpled smile down at him. That was a ‘fake it till you make it’ smile, for sure, but they’d make it.

“I’m gonna check on this, okay?” Stan said, the worry still present behind his eyes as he slipped his finger under the tucked in edge of the bandage halfway up Kyle’s shin. “Been a couple hours. You should probably take something too.”

Kyle nodded. If the color of the bruise on his arm was any indication, his leg was definitely gonna be gross. “Just don’t get freaked out if it looks crazy, dude. You know my pale ass skin shows bruises really hardcore.”

“I know, I just wanna make sure there’s not a hematoma going on or something.”

Between Kyle’s year of premed before switching to psych and Stan’s degree in veterinary science, they had a pretty solid understanding of injuries. Yeah, both of them would deny the extent of how bad off they were, but they had enough knowledge to know when the other was hurt bad enough to get some professional help.

They weren’t going to need professional help, Kyle determined, watching his partner unwrap his leg. It hurt a little more without the compression, but the mottled bruising on the side wasn’t raised, just dark.

Still, though, Stan looked upset, gently holding the slight puffiness at Kyle’s achilles and trailing a hand up the contusions to support his calf. “Dude, your poor leg,” Stan whined, “That looks really painful, Ky.”

“Looks worse than it feels,” Kyle reminded him. “I’m just white as shit and can’t even run into the kitchen counter without getting a bruise.”

Stan cracked an actual smile again, definitely remembering the time Kyle had whacked his hip on the counter and later that night hadn’t noticed until Stan interrupted Super Best Spicy Time to go “JESUS! DID I JUST DO THAT?!”. Always worried too much, that one. Not that Kyle wasn’t the same way, but still.

Stan carefully felt around his kneecap. “Is this aggravated too? You twist it at all?”

“It’s okay.”

“Alright, baby, just tell me if you need me to find your brace.”

Kyle nearly laughed, because even if Stan had trouble keeping track of most things sometimes, he knew exactly where all the medical supplies were. He wouldn’t have to “find” anything; the first aid kit was under the sink, knee brace in the top of the closet, diabetes supplies in the third drawer in the bathroom, melatonin, vitamins, cold meds, and ibuprofen in the bathroom medicine cabinet. Speaking of, the bottle of painkillers was currently on the nightstand; one of those instances of Stan thinking ahead. Kyle reached over and shook out a few while Stan gently started wrapping his ankle, swallowing the pills dry.

Stan looked up with disgust. “Dude! Are you a fucking snake?! Your water is literally right there, don’t do that in front of us!”

“Sssssss.” Kyle laughed when Stan didn’t find him hissing funny and Moose gave him the side eye. “Why do you get so grossed out when I do that?”

“Because it’s weird!” Stan stopped his ‘medic duties’ to throw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Most people can’t swallow like that. I can’t.”

In all actuality, Kyle mostly took meds dry to get a rise out of his boyfriend, who was godawful at taking any kind of medicine and complained about the taste of any liquid cough syrup but had to literally swallow pills in food, like he was a puppy.

“So we’re talking about “swallowing” now, are we?” Kyle was definitely a fan of anything he could use to segue them into a lighter mood, even a sex joke. Kenny would be proud.

Stan shook his head, but grinned, going back to his self appointed task. “Why is it that you always get flirtier when you’re hurt?”

“Because your goddamn knight in shining armor complex is hot,” Kyle answered, wincing a little at the bruises being touched but completely endeared at Stan cradling his lower leg with careful hands and lightly kissing the top of the bandage when he was finished wrapping him up.

“Thought you hated the white knight routine,” Stan teased.

Kyle pulled him down to kiss him. “I like it when it’s warranted,” he murmured against Stan’s mouth. “You’re cute.”

“You’re still gonna complain about it.”

“Mm, you know me so well.”

Then Moose *mrowed* in protest from between them at not getting attention too, and Kyle laughed. “We’ve annoyed the creature.”

Stan picked the little brown cat up and kissed his tiny face. “What, young nastyman? You bored? Wanna watch Animal Planet?”

More like Stan wanted to watch Animal Planet. Kyle rolled his eyes and sat up, reaching for his adopted son. “Did you get fed, beasticle? Want a treat?”

“Oh he got his favorite,” Stan assured him. “And extra treats because someone’s upset that his father got banged up by a stupid driver.”

Moose let himself be cradled against Kyle’s chest, purring like a lawn mower. “Baby boy,” Kyle cooed, rocking the cat a little. They’d only gotten Moose a few months ago, when Stan was volunteering at the animal shelter before working up the courage to actually apply at the vet clinic, and their fur child had quickly become a staple in their lives. And Moose was a really chill cat, just the sweetest thing. “You and your dad don’t need to worry about me.”

“We’re gonna,” Stan pointed out. “So, the critter’s been fed, but we haven’t. Whatcha feeling?”

Ugh. Yeah. Food was a thing. Kyle tended to get nauseous when he was stressed, but he knew damn well the nausea also came from not eating. Still, though, nothing sounded particularly appealing. “Whatever you want, dude. I don’t have much of an opinion tonight.”

Stan clearly didn’t like that answer. “Baby…”

“Just make what you feel like and summon me when it’s ready.”

“You should stay lying down,” he insisted.

“You know I don’t like eating in bed.” That was part of the hang up too. Dinner involved getting up, and moving would remind him that he wasn’t at 100%, which would stress him out more, because he had work the day after tomorrow and needed to be all good for stopping hallway fights, and crumbs were gross to sleep on which would make it even harder to drift off than it usually was.

“And I don’t like you not eating.” Stan could be just as stubborn as himself sometimes. “I’m gonna doordash something that isn’t messy, and we’re eating in bed, and I’ll wash the sheets.” Standing up with a determined expression, Stan caught Kyle’s hand and brought it to his lips. “Give me a moment, melda târ, I have an idea.”

He hurried down the stairs, and Kyle felt himself scowling, definitely not wanting to acknowledge that if he was this pissy this fast, even with Stan being adorable, his sugar was dropping, and like hell was he gonna check. Which also meant his partner was right, and he did need to check. It had been a good five or so hours since lunch.

“God fucking…” in the 70s, which was far from the worst he’d seen from himself, but not great. No wonder he’d suddenly plummeted into a mood. Moose made a little squeak.

“Yeah, your dad’s right. I gotta eat.”

Stan triumphantly announced his presence back in the room with a “let’s fuckin’ gooooo”, precariously balancing a pint of ice cream, two spoons, a glass of cheap wine and a can of miller lite. “Bed picnic ice cream date while we decide!”

The enthusiasm was so sweet. Stan was trying really hard to cheer him up and make sure he didn’t let getting hurt be an eating disorder trigger. That was something Stan never stopped worrying about. For real, the calorie count on the ice cream container was crossed out, even though that whole ordeal had been like six years ago. Stan Marsh, the most adorable man on the planet, who had brought the only thing in the house that wouldn’t leave crumbs in the bed, and the only thing that sounded good. Fuck, he loved him.

Kyle managed a smile and accepted the ice cream. “Dude, yes. I didn’t even know what I needed.”

Stan sat down beside him and propped them both against the headboard, one arm around Kyle, who was starting on the ice cream (Stan had grabbed the vanilla instead of the chocolate chip, probably in case Moose started begging for some), and the other going for the remote to start finding something to watch.

“You always have an opinion, babe. If you don’t, that probably means something’s up,” Stan said simply. “Figured with that and if you haven’t eaten in a while, you were starting to drop, right? You check?”

“I’m… on the lower side,” Kyle admitted, and fuck, that ice cream tasted like a video game health potion. “Why ice cream?”

Stan selected the first episode of The Last Of Us, and sporting that dimpled grin of his, grabbed a spoonful. “You crave sweet things when you’re upset or hurt, and ice cream never fails to kickstart your appetite. I know you better than I know myself, dude.”

And that went the other way around, too. Kyle sighed and let his head drift to Stan’s shoulder, watching as his boyfriend scrolled through the list of food options.

“You feel like a sandwich?”

“I mean, I feel like a Stan, but-“ Stan cut off with a laugh when Kyle nudged him. “Yeah, yeah baby, you want grilled cheeses from that diner on the square?”

“Mhm. Just put in the order notes for them to leave the condiments out of the boxes so they don’t get covered in fry grease.”

Stan kissed him lightly on the forehead before taking a sip of his beer, grinning around the lip of the can.

“Why are you making that face, Stanathan?”

“Just… there you are.” Stan finished placing the order and wrapped both arms around him. Moose sniffed at the abandoned ice cream container while his humans held each other. “You’re here. You’re okay. And you’re feeling good enough to make requests on the packaging on a food order.”

“I mean, it’s kind of off putting when your ketchup cups are all slimy because they were in the same container with the fries that just got pulled out of the oil, plus the grease smell is gonna linger in the bedroom after anyway, so might as well minimize the stain risk, and- *mnh*!”

The kiss that Stan stopped him with tasted like vanilla, and that distinct taste that was all his own. His Stan; his hero when he needed help, the one who Kyle swore could read his mind sometimes. The man who was so gentle when he was injured but so strong if someone he cared about was threatened. Stan, who was a massive dork at the same time he was the coolest person Kyle knew. “Luck” didn’t begin to cover it.

But Stan had him covered.

[timeofjuly]

i keep thinking of the scenario if electrician were to run into ppl of her past like izzy from new years… i like imagine her going “ bunny it’s been so long you look better then ever “ and electrician is like 😀 do i know you..? due to their gaps in memory (i’m also interested how much their memory will affect them as the story progresses, i myself suffer from the issue and being young it’s kinda scary sometimes 😞)

This ask made me write something! This is set pre-RTC in the earlier days of MC’s sobriety. They’ve just moved to New Ebott here. 

Read it on AO3 or read it below!

Licence

You’re leaving the DMV, of all the fucking places, when it happens. 

Most people hate the DMV but you had practically skipped into the place for your eleven am appointment, overcome with joy at the thought of getting your driver’s licence back. The public transportation in New Ebott is great and your ass looks amazing after all the cycling you’ve been doing when the weather is nice, but there’s something about the independence of a car that you’ve missed. With your licence back, your employment prospects won’t be limited to the boundaries of public transport and your stamina when pedalling. 

With your licence back, you’ll be able to go to school. 

That’s the thing you’re most excited about. School. College. University. Whatever. You just want to learn something, to use the brain that you’ve let go to shit. You don’t even care what - at this point, with your dismal record and embarrassing results from high school, you’ll take what you can get. 

You’ve wasted enough of your life and you don’t want to squander a second more. 

After tucking your brand new licence safely in your back pocket, you leave the DMV, still smiling, and make your way to the bus stop. You’ll miss catching it; all the drivers are lovely and it’s nice to be driven around the city, like your own personal tour. 

You’ve got time to kill until the bus arrives, so you open your phone and start scrolling through hundreds of second hand car listings. 

You’re not picky; you have a tight budget and will probably hit your fair share of curbs in it anyway, but it’s nice to look at the fancier ones and dream. A convertible sounds nice; there’s a bright red one for sale, way outside of your budget. You imagine the wind in your hair, the sheer cool factor of rolling down the street with the top down. Oh, or maybe a motorbike; you had loved your stupid, ugly little scooter, and a motorbike would be even better. And you’d get to wear all the sexy leather gear. Double win. 

“Oh my stars, do my eyes deceive me?”

The cold hand of panic twists through your ribcage and wraps around your heart, fingers taking hold and squeezing. 

You know that voice. 

You turn around.

On the sidewalk are two people staring at you with equally ecstatic expressions and you only recognise one of them. 

Izzy looks… well, she looks good, you suppose, clothes fashionable and scales polished to a sheen, though you can see a few of them are missing. The spines on her head are droopy, a little paler in colour than what you remember, and there’s a beadiness to her eyes that you never noticed before. 

You haven’t seen her in months but from how unfamiliar she looks, it feels more like years. 

“Damn, you’re looking good!” says the man you don’t recognise. 

And you know that you knew this person once, can hear the echo of his voice through the fog of your memory, even recognise his hands for the way they’d felt on your skin, but there’s something missing, something your stupid, ruined, useless brain is unable to grasp.

“Hey,” you say, affecting your brightest party-girl smile. “Long time no see.”

“Fucking hell, no shit!” the man laughs. He’s handsome, tall and very blond. “How’ve you been? You look so different.”

With each month you add to your sobriety, you’re told that with increasing frequency. You don’t really see it yourself - you feel like the exact same person most of the time. Worse, even. You’re horrible to be around when you’re in pain. 

“Good, really good,” you say. “How have –”

“Dude, I thought you were dead!” Izzy crows, looking delighted. “You just disappeared, like that.” She snaps her fingers, a jarring scrape of scale-on-claw. 

“Yeah, we all thought that Jesse threw the bunny out with the bath water,” the man says. His tone is light, like it’s a fucking joke or something. 

This person is a stranger to you. You couldn’t even guess his name if you tried. And yet he knows about that —

You tense. Pull a smile to your face. Do your best to shake off the phantom feeling of ice crystallising on the tip of your nose. “Nah, I’m not that easy to get rid of.”

And he laughs and so does Izzy and you laugh too, even though it feels like glass in your throat, because what else can you do?

“Well, I’m glad,” says Izzy and then she sweeps you up into a hug. She smells like old perfume clinging to unwashed clothes and you can feel a faint tremble in her hands as they grip your back. 

You hug back, even though you suddenly feel strange and unwieldy, like your arms aren’t your own. 

I want to go home, you think. Another thing you’d be able to do if you just had a fucking car and hadn’t lost your fucking licence in the first place. 

Izzy pulls back but then the man swoops in to take her place. You’re pressed to the line of his body, and though you’ve probably seen it naked, touched it all over, the feel of it is foreign to you. 

You let go first. 

“What’re you doing in New Ebott, anyway?” Izzy asks. 

“Just passing through,” you lie, because fuck if you’re letting her know that you live here now. “What about you guys?”

“Same thing,” Izzy says. “We’re crashing with Palyso at the moment, remember him?”

Nope. 

“Oh, yeah, totally.”

“Yeah, good guy, really funny. Hey, he’s actually having a party tonight, you should come! Just like old times.” The stranger waggles his eyebrows at you. 

You don’t need to remember the specifics to work out what he means. 

“Yeah, come with us,” Izzy begs. “Everyone’ll be so happy to see you. I’ll make it worth your while, I promise.”

The itch you’re not allowed to scratch burns. It’d be so easy, so fucking easy, to say yes. What’s one night? You don’t even need to use; who says you can’t have fun sober?

The word yes sits in your mouth like a hot coal and then the memory of water, cracking with thin shards of ice, washes over it. 

The desire is gutted out. Not even smoke remains. 

“I’ll sit this one out,” you say. 

“Aw, c’mon, bunny! You’ve gotta—“

The sound of an engine rumbles behind you and your soul sings with relief. 

Thank you, timely public transportation of New Ebott. 

“This is me,” you say, hoping you sound apologetic. “It was nice seeing you guys!”

You don’t wait for a reply, practically flinging yourself onto the bus. The driver gives you a concerned look - you’re a regular and most of them know you by name  - but you just give her a reassuring grin, because you’re fine. You’re fine. You’re completely, one hundred per cent fine. 

You take a seat near the front and stare down at your hands. You think of the way Izzy's shook. The way yours had once. The way they don’t anymore. You hadn’t noticed that until now. 

God fucking damnit. 

Stupid, unwarranted tears prickle hot at your eyes and worse, there’s something sharp poking you in the butt. 

Fearing that you’ve sat in something that’ll rip a hole in your pants - wouldn’t that be your fucking luck - you lift your hips and grope blindly at your ass. 

Oh, right. 

You forgot that you wedged it in your pocket after leaving the DMV. 

You look down at your brand new licence, turning the shiny plastic card around in your hands. Your own face stares back up at you. 

You dig around in your purse and from the very bottom, unearth the remains of your old licence, kept purely for sentimental reasons. It’s cut clean down the middle, made unusable the moment you’d lost it, but the image of your face is still intact. 

You compare the two, side-by-side. In the new one, your face is fuller and your skin smoother. Your lips have colour to them and your eyes are bright and awake, the whites white rather than bloodshot yellow. 

In the new one, you’re smiling. 

Huh. You see it, now. 

You do look different after all.

[afraid-of-squadra]

May I please ask for poly la squadra headcanons (Sorlato included) with my Tira please

https://www.tumblr.com/crazyyanderefangirlfan/708253472236142592/tira-columbina

Also Hi I’m new

Hello!

This is a great amount of info to analyze, so I hope you forgive me if there’re any inconsistencies.

She is probably the closest with Risotto, Formaggio and Prosciutto. Risotto appreciates her softer side paired with professionalism. Prosciutto can discuss how to better other members’ skills and general well-being with her, coordinating their methods. Formaggio likes to mess with her, as he does with everybody else, but at least she’s actually fun.

Risotto is a very busy man that takes no nonsense from anybody. However, he is a little more relaxed in her company – her Stand is very strong, so at least he doesn’t have to worry THAT much about something happening to her.

Ghiaccio is always riled up, and the dolls do get on his nerves every time he sees them in the “wrong” place. He starts screaming immediately, the noise gathering others, and doesn’t stop until Risotto tells him to shut up or Melone manages to calm him down. The worst thing Tira can do is actually argue with him. He will apologize after an hour or so, of course, but for the love of God, have her keep the dolls out of the shared spaces strictly. They have an image to maintain.

Melone, on the other hand, is rather pleased with the dolls. Hell, he’d play with them if Tira asked. Illuso may mock him however much he wants, but if it makes Tira happy, Melone is happy as well. He is very curious about them regardless. Who made them, how long ago, how rare they are, do they have names, does she believe they’re haunted (he’s ecstatic if they are)… He wants to know everything.

Pesci is scared of the porcelain dolls. Barbies and such are fine, but those porcelain, possibly haunted ones… Illuso, Formaggio, Sorbet and Gelato forced him to watch one too many scary movies, please keep the dolls away from this guy or he might get a stomachache from all the stress. That mammoni…

Prosciutto is probably the most fitting and most similar to her out of the bunch. He has a lot of respect and care for her, his gallantry fits compliment her feminine visage, in public they look like a movie couple, and out of that, they probably coexist just as harmoniously, a few specific kinds of situations excluded.

Illuso is an ass, we all know that. No idea how Tira even tolerates him, probably wants to strangle him to death from time to time? He does tease her less than others, though, almost as rarely as he does Prosciutto, for an obvious reason – he knows she’d fight back. If he sees her angry or upset, he hides into the mirror and stays there. However, as rare and unusual it is for him to offer anybody comfort, Tira is probably the only person who gets such treatment.

Formaggio is a sweet guy while she’s on his good side. He doesn’t mind the dolls at all, even shrinking himself to their size as a joke. If she has a dollhouse, he will happily agree to shrink them both to hang out there (who’s useless now, huh, Illuso?). But if he’s in a certain mood or if they had a fight… Well, Formaggio is one of the crueler members of the squad. He won’t start a full-blown Stand fight (by God, he knows he’d lose), but he has many other ways to get on her nerves until they either have a shouting match or she gets so upset he feels bad and immediately tries to make up for his little shit ways.

Sorbet and Gelato are very hard to tolerate unless you are them. Sorbet is mostly just…silent. He doesn’t talk to people. He may love them as much as he is able to love, but he won’t talk to people unless he has something to criticize or money to demand. Gelato is extremely clingy. When he’s not glued to Sorbet, he’s glued to Tira, either following her around like a puppy (more like a bloodthirsty war hound, but anyways) or demanding to cuddle. And if she denies him, he gets upset, then angry and then vindictive.

However much she enjoys teasing others up to smacking them jokingly, Illuso, Risotto and Prosciutto would take none of this shit. Formaggio or Gelato may laugh it off, Melone and Sorbet just ignore it, Ghiaccio grumble but otherwise just take it, poor sweet Pesci is used to it. But Illuso WILL change her alarm to Barbie Girl and hide some of her stuff in the mirror world and Prosciutto WILL scold her for such a show of disrespect. Risotto will just give her a glare and silent treatment. They take their tough guy image very seriously. Especially Prosciutto.

Her kindest gestures do raise a lot of questions to others. Most sigh and move on with their life, Illuso and Formaggio may take a couple jabs at her, but… Sorbet and Gelato are dumbfounded, not in a good way. Sorbet thinks it is unwise (what do you mean, you entertain children FOR FREE?), Gelato, being a cruel man in general, may even sabotage it all. It’s not out of malice or spite (so they assure themselves), they are just concerned that she will “grow soft”.

Risotto and Pesci are by far the most accepting of her being generally a better person than them all. They find it endearing, a reason to love her more. As long as she does everything well, this is a good quality. Formaggio, Melone and Sorbet are always trying to push her to be a bit meaner. After all, if she’s a good person, they feel inadequate. They need to bring her down to their level.

Any time there is a fight between the guys, it eventually turns into “hey, Tira, tell him he’s wrong”, as if she is their mom or something. All in all, them being mostly very competitive as well, they ARE fighting for her attention from time to time (even Pesci tries to do that, except he gets shut down very quickly).

I hope you like these!