#And to think it's still all Winter's fault lol

[sysig]

Haha, this Winterkov stuff is fun- where did all these other feelings come from (Patreon)

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Lando Norris and [Y/n] Wolff are an on-and-off thing, fans think they're all good after [Y/n] releases a song supposedly about Lando, but they forget he's not the only Brit on the grid.

username1 HE LAUGHS AT ALL MY JOKES

↳username2 AND HE SAYS I'M SO AMERICAN

username3 sorry but in which part is y/n american?

↳username1 her mother, Y/m/n Y/l/n, is American and Y/n spent most of her life in the US after Y/m/n and Toto divorced

username3 oooh good to know, thank you!!

username4 I'm so happy to know Y/n and Lando are still together after all

↳username5 But they were never official

username4 But it's obvious! They were seen on dates many times, hanging out around Monaco, not to mention every time Y/n is in the paddock she spends more time in the McLaren garage than Mercedes'

username6 my fav nepo baby <3

username7 damn Lando must be doing a good job lol

username8 Y/n finally released a love song, everybody thank Lando

username9 Weren't there rumours about them being over forever just during the winter break?

↳username10 Toto would find a way to get Lando kicked out of F1 if he ever broke Y/n's heart lmao

username9 What does Toto gotta do with McLaren?

username10 He's rich? Lol

username9 And? Stroll's daddy is rich as well yet he can't make idk Verstappen disappear lol rich doesn't mean he can do anything he wants

username11 Guys I have a bad feeling, we actually haven't seen them together in a long time , I'm afraid they might be actually broken up for good

↳username6 I wouldn't read too much into it, Y/n studies in Monaco so she isn't able to attend races right now

username11 You sure? Y/n hasn't made a single appearance since the season started

username6 The season started in the middle of her uni year lol you ever thought of that?

↳username7 this is literally a love song, how are we even wondering if they broke up? she wouldn't release this if they were done

username6 THIS!! I feel like this song is a confirmation from Y/n that all is good, maybe she was tired of people talking if they're broken up or not

username5 Then why don't they make it official?

username6 that's not a question i can answer

username12 "I'll go anywhere he goes" then why aren't you attending races miss girl? Education can wait

↳username2 lmao it literally can't wait

username13 "the books you read" ma'am, Lando looks like he hasn't touched a single book his whole life

↳username12 And it's not like he dresses that well either, his style is nothing special

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

y/n's texts with Lando

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

username1 All men are the same I swear

↳username2 nooo I swear there are good ones, but that's just not Lando

username3 excuse me sir, y/n has just written a love song about you

username4 NOOOO THE WAY HE PUT HIS HAND ON THE GIRL'S LOWER BACK

↳username1 Him and Y/n are done frfr 😭

username5 Do we know who the girl is?

↳f1gossip Not yet, but I'm sure we'll know in no time

username6 Wtf is wrong with you, it's not her fault Lando can't focus on one woman

username7 But there's no way she didn't know about him and Y/n ;)

username6 There is/was no "Lando and Y/n", they never confirmed a relationship

username8 He's just won in Miami, I was hoping they'd make it official after that :(

↳username9 Sameeee it would be so cool

↳username10 Literally same, it'd be perfect

username11 Lando Norris, you disappoint me again

↳username12 at this point Y/n must be used to that lmao poor girl I hope she finds someone better

username13 WHAT DOES TOTO SAY ABOUT IT?

↳username3 Whats he supposed to say? Y/n is a grown woman, stop treating her like a baby

username14 I swear if we see Y/n back again with him after THIS I'm gonna break some dishes

↳username15 Yeah I hope she'll find some self respect and finally leave his ass

username16 Y/n I beg you to leave him, the d can't be THAT fire

yn_wolff posted on instastory

landonorris replied to your story:

↳mind if i join?

yn_wolff:

yeah lol don't join

landonorris:

i was gonna sail today anyway, what if we do it together?

hey i think i see u thru my window who are u with?

yn_wolff:

with dad and susie

stalker ass creep don't get anywhere near me today

landonorris:

I see another man

who is he?

*seen*

y/n answer me who is he

is that russell?

fucking russell wtf is he doing there

he better keep his hands away from you

what the fuck why are u hugging him

yn_wolff:

i'm hugging george and I'll do something worse if you don't stop with ur stalker shit

landonorris:

what the fuck do you mean y/n

yn_wolff:

don't worry, I'm sure that blonde girl would love to give you a hug, you should go see her

landonorris:

she's just a friend

y/n you're mine

she doesn't mean shit to me

don't show my texts to russell

yn_wolff:

Hello it's George, stop texting my girlfriend or we'll have to tell Toto

landonorris:

girlfriend?

username1 Right after? The Lando thing was yesterday

↳f1gossip Yeah, and this was this morning

username2 Whats Y/n doin with George? 🤨

↳username3 in case you forgot she's y/n WOLFF, the daughter of Mercedes' boss which GR drives for

username4 After seeing Y/n's story I hoped she's finally spending some time with Lando but...

↳username5 Have u seen what Lando posted? 😂

username4 What did he post?

username5 Oh apparently he deleted it already lol it was a story

username5 Anyway he posted like a lowkey thirst trap pic and the music he added was Tumblr girls by g eazy lmao

username4 Boohoo consequences of his own actions catching up

username5 Yeahh and he especially chose the verse that goes like "fucking off and on, always stop and go, probably got someone, choose not to know"

username6 Guys, I say we take in consideration the possibility of 'so american' being about George

landonorris Monaco weekend 🇲🇨☀

view all comments

username1 Why do I feel like he posted this just so people think Y/n was there with him even though there's not a single pic of her? 😂

↳username2 Bro why he want her when he can't have her anymore?

username3 get over it, it's your fault

username4 I feel like he's tryna say "Hey guys look, Y/n took these pics" but why would we believe it 💀

↳username1 Exactly!! We all KNOW she most likely spent the day with George

username5 Now all i think about when i see Lando is the story he deleted 😭

↳username6 totally hahah he literally called Y/n a bitch but also admitted that he can't help wanting other girls

username7 Wait when did this happen? When did he say that?

username6 he never said that, it's lyrics of a song he posted but quickly deleted

username5 He immediately regretted hahah

username8 @/maxfewtrell Tell Lando to behave, why are you even helping him with this bullshit?

username9 It's too late, you had your chance FOR HALF A YEAR and still chose to lead Y/n on, now she got someone else and you're being petty

↳username10 She let him lead her on for half a year? Damn it he should pay for her therapy

username9 I feel like she really hoped she can change him but realized "if you can't change the man, change the man"

username10 Very accurate lmao

username11 Guys, I believe Y/n and Lando were a thing for much more time than half a year, it was going on for at least a year, they were just very secretive about it

username9 Well, good for her to finally get out of this shit, she deserves so much better and I hope George will give her that

username1 I bet Toto loves his new son in law

↳username2 He has to be very relieved to know Y/n chose George eventually

username3 We still don't know if they're dating, remember George drives for Mercedes

username4 I really hope Lando is crying rn

username5 Now Lando for sure can't trick us into thinking Y/n was with him lmao

username6 I love George for saving Y/n

username7 I love them, they're all so old money, Y/n and George are a great match

username8 MY DELULU IS BECOMING TRULULU

username9 This is our confirmation that so american is about George

username10 I feel like Y/n upgraded at some point but at one point also downgraded

↳username2 Let's not talk about it, we should be happy for her and George, at least he won't treat her like an option

username11 George is literally THE MAN for Y/n, I'm so glad she finally realized that

↳username12 Chill, let's not assume stuff before we have any statement from them, we all know where assuming can get us

username13 This is my old money dream

username14 HEAR ME OUT but I'd actually love to see George and Y/n get married one day

↳username12 THIS is exactly where assuming can get us

yn_wolff Oh you'll like him, he's really kind andhe's funny like you sometimes, and I found someone I really like maybe for the first time

view all comments

username1 I'm so happy for them I'm gonna cry

lewishamilton Invite me next time!

↳georgerussell63 Toto said it was family only, I'm sorry, Lewis!

↳yn_wolff Ask Ferrari to invite you wtf

username1 lmao only Y/n Wolff can talk to a 7 times world champion like that

username2 YESSSS IT'S OFFICIAL

↳username1 Y/n is officially free from Lando!!

username3 I love the vibes, I love the fact that Y/n is dating a driver from her dad's team, I love the fact that Toto accepts it

↳username4 He must've been going CRAZY when Y/n had the situationship with Lando

username3 Absolutely and I think we all know about Toto's anger issues lol

susie_wolff 💝

↳yn_wolff 🩷

ymn_yln I hope George knows he's welcome in America too 😊

↳yn_wolff Of course!! We have a plane on Friday❤️

↳georgerussell63 I wanted to take Y/n to Miami so we can visit after the GP, but she refused 😔

yn_wolff Shut up I have uni!!

georgerussell63 It can't be more important than me meeting your mum

lilymhe Beautiful couple 😚

↳yn_wolff @/susie_wolff it's about you and dad💕

lilymhe Might as well be 😂

username3 Susie and Toto literally are Y/n and George in like 20 years lmao

alex_albon Finally, no more secrets

↳username2 ALBONO KNEW?

username4 Phew I can't imagine how much stress it was for him 😂

username5 George just MIGHT be the guy which so american is about...

username6 Something about this relationship makes me feel so at peace and I don't even know them in person

charles_leclerc Someone check on Lando😂

↳yn_wolff Charles 💀

username5 Is he wrong tho

username7 I laughed harder than I should've

↳username8 Betting all my money he's regretting all his actions

username9 As he should tbh imagine leading sb on for about a year, people who do this are evil

username8 Yeah, that was so wrong of him

username10 No but I need to know what books George reads tho

landonorris 👍

↳yn_wolff Stalker ass you don't even follow me

↳username4 THE AUDACITY

landonorris I hope you'll have fun while it lasts

↳yn_wolff YOU'RE the one to speak about lasting

↳georgerussell63 Not your place to worry about it🙂

username5 THE EMOJI MAKES IT SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON

username1 "THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE BOOKS YOU READ" he dresses well✅ he looks like he reads✅

username2 He's the perfect man for Y/n frfr

username3 I'm so happy that it's not about Lando after all, I was like girl he's treating you like shit and you write a love song??

username4 I've been waiting for it for YEARS

username5 So they had a thing for no longer than since the end of winter break and already made it official

↳username2 Something Lando couldn't do for almost a whole ass year lmao

username6 But have y'all noticed how obsessed with Y/n Lando is suddenly?

↳username1 of course he is, that's how it works, he's been rejected so his fragile ego is hurt

username3 He's even liking fans' edits of Y/n😭man is manifesting hard but I doubt anything can help him

username7 Good to know George's hands are warmer than hell, they don't look like it

username8 Girlie deserved a man who doesn't have commitment issues aka is a real man, I'm glad she got him

username9 Y'all think Lando reads Y/n x reader fanfics?👀

↳username1 Totally

↳username2 I can imagine it

↳username3 He'll do it until his delulu becomes trululu (it'll never happen🔥)

username10 I'll laugh so hard if now Lando will now stop fooling around with other girls 😂

username11 Can't wait for a whole album full of love songs about him

↳username12 I don't think we'll have to wait for long

[hyperfixiation-station]

Cw: OOC and fem-presenting reader, incorrect military stuff

But anyways I just had a lil thought about you, a young, feminine soldier, being offered a spot on the 141. And of course you take it, who wouldn't?

And you show up at base and you meet the team, an they are all welcoming gor the most part. You get settled in, meet and train with them, and form some sort of comradery with them.

And then the rumors start. Not from the 141, no, but from the other teams on base. That you slept your way into your position, that the only reason you were even offered a spot is because Price likes you in bed, stuff like that.

And it hurts, of course, but you don't mind so much because you've got a team of people who trust you and know your skills and are like a family to you. Except, maybe they aren't.

It wasnt your fault the mission went wrong. Or anyone's. There's was no way to know that the supposedly-sunny weather would turn on you. And it's not your fault that Ghist keep trying to push forward, even when visibility was almost than zero. Not you fault that you both got stranded.

It took hours for Price and Soap to find you. Hours of sitting in the cold, harsh winter weather with no real protection. By the time you guys were found, both you and Ghost were nearly frozen.

They got you in the chopper, wrapped you in blankets and gave you hand warmers to tide you over till you could get checked out by medical. Your eyes were closed, your head leaned back, looking like you're sleeping as you listened to Soap and Ghost bicker.

You thinks that's why he said it. He thought you were asleep, thought you wouldn't hear what he really thought of you.

"She's barely a real Soldier and you know it." Soap had spat at Ghost, "She's just Price's little plaything that he wants to feel important. Don't act like she's on the same level as us."

You don't even know what they were arguing about, don't know why that sentence needed to come out of his mouth. But it did. And maybe he meant it, maybe he didn't, but regardless, he still said it.

And what made it worse is that no one responded. There was no defense from Ghost, from Gaz, from Price- well, Price you could excuse cause he was flying the chopper, but everyone else? There was no excuse.

Of course everyone acts confused when they ask why you're upset, why you're giving them the cold shoulder, refusing to talk to them.

And it comes to blows one night, when your transfer request ends up on Prices desk. They corner you, demanding to know why you're leaving.

"Because." You say, "I'm not staying on a team that thinks my only purpose is to be some-some-some...sex toy for its captain, which isn't true, by the way. I've never had sex with anyone in this base, much less in this room."

Price gapes at you, completely floored by the words coming out of your mouth. But everyone else looks sheepish, cheeks flushing as the realize why you've been so frosty recently.

"That's not true." Gaz says finally, "we-"

"Oh puh-lease. Everyone here thinks it. 'A woman, and young one at that, getting into the 141 on her own merit? Preposterous.' But I didn't mind cause I thought..." your voice cracked and you had to take a deep breath before continuing, " I thought my team at least could value me for my skills. Clearly I was wrong."

And thats all I ahve for now folks, sorry for the abrupt ending I don't know even know where this was going and also my hands are shaking for some reason sorry for any errors lol

[satoruhour]

ur gonna get sick of seeing me in ur inbox lol but t i’ve been thinking a whole lot about sugar daddies and i need to know what the jjk men would be like as sugar daddies and what type of sugar baby they’d go for and and and their favourite things to do with you, both inside and outside the bedroom �� and how likely they are to fall in love and make u their wifey

a/n: i am so normal about jjk men. this shit is so long i got carried away. it’s too long that i’ll need to seperate and post nanami’s and toji’s part in a second post TT pt. 2 here

warnings: long piece, sugar daddy!au, discussions of kinks including daddy kink, creampies / breeding, public sex, exhibitionism, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, facials, cumshots, praise, degradation, dp, threesome, voyeurism, orgasm denial, overstimulation, lingerie, brat-taming, let me know if i missed anything. n*sfw under the cut

✶ GOJO

most annoying sugar daddy eva but he’s one of the fun ones where he feels like your best friend and sponsor all in one

i honestly see gojo not having a preference for specific sugar babies, but he doesn’t like babies who are ashamed of their relationship. like it’s one thing to be private of your relationship but another to introduce satoru as just your trust fund without alluding to your relationship

“he’s helping me with my university fees” like yeah any rich FRIEND could do that but it’s different from hooking an arm around his to introduce you two as a couple

sure maybe he may have blurred the lines at first when touches became more personal and whatnot but at this point he’s basically your boyfriend — even if you don’t want to explain the sugar daddy part, he still wants to be know as your partner and equal

you two “met” at an event where you were paid minimum wage for a waitress job, serving drinks to rich ppl and he’s so entranced with how you move. it’s not until later when he goes outside to accompany geto for a smoke that he sees you and your friends who worked the job together just talking and laughing in the parking lot while you rested your feet 

it was cute and refreshing seeing your laughter after experiencing your stoic expression in the stuffy event even he didnt want to go to. since it was once of the first few events he started attending as a new CEO

made an impression by approaching you when your friends went in and your back was turned but you took him as a creep and screamed and punched him and he’s groaning while you just apologise profusely

it’s his fault, he knows, approaching in such a dark area but he doesnt mind the dark bruise forming on his nose bridge even when his best friend was laughing from a distance and youre helping him off the ground. your hands are so soft and your voice so sweet he swears he wants to protect you from the get go

after that whole hooha, he finds out youre still a uni student trying to pay off fees and randomly asks if you want to be his sugar baby and realises he wants you to be his gf when you’re playing some digimon video game at his house, enjoying your winter break. youre triumphant in the round and he grabs your wrist mid celebratory pose and pulls you to him

are you going to punch me for payback? gojo pfts and laughs, and just says just wanted to tell you i like you and LEAVES dude is so afraid of your answer until youre wrapping your arms arnd him from behind muttering out a finally and hearing the vibration of his chuckle

gojo wants his baby to ask for help when you needs it, and doesn’t mind being spoiled

LOVES to buy you flashy stuff. glittery, bright coloured things (that somehow still look classy) that scream expensive. gojo is very good at persuasion. he listens you dont like it however

i feel like the more he gets to know you, he understands your style more so while some of the things he buys are still fairly gaudy, you’re surprised every time he manages to purchase something that fits your preference. he’s gotten very good at it

gojo wires you money when he feels like it, whenever. he calls what he has a “sugar baby radar” and it’s just him thinking youre panicking over not having money for a textbook or something and just types in a random amount to transfer to you lol

he’s just a chill guy though, who wants to be a good boyfriend as he is a sugar daddy. like yeah he’s had sugar babies before and he enjoys giving but you’ve always hooked him in from day one and he realises he doesn’t just want to give you money but love too

gojo wants a bit of balance in the relationship as well — so he accompanies you to fashion stores to try on clothes but he would also love it if you followed him to tailor stores or watch stores for normal CEO stuff 

you roll your eyes but actually you love every suit he changes into, and you always think of taking him right there

he LOVES his sunglasses that’s one thing he’s always dragging you to look at

and then there is interests that involve the both of you: lingerie shopping lol, jewellery, etc

he gets you a little G.S. initial necklace for your second anni and it looks so cute on you

clingy and so annoying bout it. you love it tho, seeing such a rich guy babble out five more minutes with hair sticking out everywhere.

he surrenders to you easily in the way he lets you crash his place whenever you’re cramming for an exam, or just needs some comfort. his things becomes yours very easily and he smiles when he finds himself wanting to learn how to cook properly when you’re sleeping in

likes to buy lingerie that matches his eyes, but ofc also picking your preferred colour. but seeing the fabric that matches the blue of his eyes drives him crazy, but also he gets to say “my eyes are always on you” and it’s just a reference to how there’s baby blue lingerie on you

HES SO LAME . i swear to god.

also a little bit of a boomer when it comes to younger slang and whatnot and it’s endearing to see when he’s supposed to be a CEO but you can’t help but laugh when he asks you for help on what fomo meant

very open on topics that touchy subjects or sensitive things. he may appear loud and annoying but he’s got depth to him due to his hardships since he was young. like yeah sure a guy who already was in line to take over his father couldn’t have hardships when he was young but he’s always despised this line of work. satoru is still finding a way to break off from his toxic family business to create his own, something that wont come without blackmail and scandals

the first time you heard this you were surprised because you had never seen gojo so serious before. he mentions it’s not obligatory for you to open up as well, but you mumble along about always struggling with money and working jobs to make ends meet. it’s not detrimental, but sometimes you wish there was someone treating you to a small meal or drink

this vulnerable state was early on in your relationship as well, and as you two go along, gojo is so grateful to be able to take care of you. it strengthens your relationship as well, because while you have your funny, hysterical moments, being vulnerable with your sugar daddy turned boyfriend is everything you could ask for

gojo realises the first time he might put a ring on you was when you guys had sex that was intense and broke the headboard LMFAO you two laughed about it during it, but during aftercare you’re patting his chest, telling him how you’ll end work early to meet him at IKEA to get a new one tomorrow — that simple act of going with someone to find furniture like ohhhh my god he was so whipped

like it’s one thing to buy clothes and material things but when you said that, flashes of your possible married life flashed before his eyes and he wants to say i love you but finds you’re already asleep. he can’t wait to actually move out of his family sponsored home into an apartment with you. gojo doesn’t care if it’s smaller than mansions and penthouses. if you’re happy, he is.

n*sfw hc’s below

gojo is open to a lot of things regarding your sex life. he didn’t want to scare you when you first started out but when he found out you’re just as much of a freak as he is he’s going to pound town baby!

not big on the daddy kink ngl (and he also because he’s too pathetic to be called a daddy), but loves using it in the context of cumming in you and breeding you and the prospect of you being pregnant with his child. 

even if it’s not on his checklist right now, he just loves the filthiness and saying things like that

loves to fuck in bathrooms of important events, the cold marble against your skin making you freeze up as your eyes can hardly focus on your reflection. you’re just thankful you were able to find the ‘cleaning’ sign to prevent anyone from entering

loves to tease you and threaten to take away his black card and youre whining. hes annoying, asking you to use your words and youre begging to cum on his fingers.

very playful in the bedroom but he’s always calling you his dumb baby who loves getting fucked stupid by him until theres only money and him on your mind

loves it when you wear the extensions to the G.S. initial necklace, buying four more initials: two for your wrist, two for your ankles so he can hear it jingle when you stroke his cock while your flick your tongue at his tip

r hear it next to his ear when your legs are on his shoulder as he rails into you

on a funnier note he would totally fuck you on a bed of money. just for shits and giggles

loves to film you especially in his office, whether you’re playing with yourself or sucking him off or getting fucked he loves it so much bc of the fact he’s so unprofessional in a professional setting

gojo likes it when you initiate sex, especially in places that are risky and pretty public. his office is a starter, coming in dressed in a tight pencil skirt to mirror his insufferable PA who kept making advances on him. she was demoted the very next day LMFAO

but yeah you wore the skirt to provoke him, pulling his tie over the table while a stocking clad knee rests on his wooden desk. there’s a confidence in you he’s never seen before and he just cant resist flicking his eyes down to the suffocating button up shirt you’ve got on

satoru doesn’t care that his whole office can hear you moan out his name or the slaps of his balls on your ass. or doesn’t really care about the construction workers looking at you two go at it like rabbits from the opposite building

the heat of the glass paired with your body that feels on fire is enough to make you lightheaded but the eyes and ears peeking in on your intercourse is so thrilling to you bc you know gojo can just pay them off to shut the fuck up

loves you on your knees giving him head when he’s in an important meeting, the swirl of your tongue feeling so good on his length

but what’s more he loves giving you head even more. doesnt matter where. office table, washing machine, bed, he’s so in love with your cum and cunt and has to eat you out at least once a day

gojo loves to cum in you but also on your face, especially if you wear glasses. seeing his white hot cum splattered on your lenses and your face while your tongue darts out to lick some of it off he swear there’s a few more blobs of cum that seeps out from his tip

warnings for drabble: reader has glasses, pet names, oral (m receiving), deepthroating, face-fucking, praise, facial, cum eating, semi-public sex 

“baby— sweetness, oh my g-god…” gojo whines out, once the board members are out of the meeting room, rolling his chair back slowly while you follow on your knees, cock still in your mouth. he’s glancing down at you with such need you’d think you’re the one leading the relationship, the hands in your hair tightening when you lick down his shaft before taking one of his balls in his mouth, sucking at the sack while pumping him.

the long acrylic nails that he paid for are on display along with your G.S. bracelet as you pump his dick, slick, wet noises fill the spacious meeting room. gojo almost wants to say something but your head descends on his large cock again, taking him right to the back of your mouth when his tip hits your throat and you struggle to keep your eyes open as you breathe through your nose.

“fuuckk… that’s it. take me s’well,” satoru moans at the tears forming at your waterline, pulling your head off for a moment for you to catch your breath and you know what he wants to do, because his hips cannot resist one bit whenever you’ve got his dick in your mouth. slowly, he starts to move his body off the office chair, thrusting up into your waiting, obedient mouth and he moans so loud he isn‘t surprised someone hasn’t come in already.

“so wet and warm, princess— s-shit, can’t wait to fuck your cute little pussy,” he has a foul mouth, and you moan around his length at the words, hands tensing around his thighs as he continued to fuck your face. gojo is so rough that your glasses are messed up, tilting to one side but you continue to feel up his body. you would get fired like this, sucking the cock of someone who has their pants pulled down halfway while wet, gurgling noises fill the space. but you knew the CEO, the man who’s now whining out your name as his hips start to stutter, eyes scrunched up in pure pleasure before forcing you off his cock, hands stroking his leaking cock in quick movements. you adjust your glasses like a good girl, sticking out your tongue as you admire the sight before you. want my cum all over your face, angelface?

satoru whimpers out that he’s gonna cum! with his heavy, beautiful cock out, pumping harshly before he shoots his load all over you, spilling his white, viscous liquid all over your face and glasses and you swallow whatever that’s close to your mouth and tongue, darting out to lick up the heavy ball of cum still leaking from his sensitive tip, and he jolts on your tongue.

you giggle, hand closing around his length once more and gojo just groans at its warmth. he loves it, he loves everything ’bout you and he can’t wait to turn over the tables later when he hears you say, “again.”

✶GETO

doting sugar daddy!!! out of sex life he’s the most ‘giving’, but he has his moments of depriving you of things because you being a brat but yes he’s the softest in the normal context of a relationship

similarly, not much preference for sugar babies but he wouldn’t like babies who ask for too much? idk if that makes sense but it’s more of being given so many options of a type of clothing or bag but still whining to want something more expensive

like the money doesn’t bother him but it’s more of your attitude regarding material things. can’t stand babies who are rotten to the core and are actually spoiled that it ruins the act of him giving you things and of you asking for things because no matter what he buys you’re not satisfied

it also pisses him off if it carries into your way of treating people, dragging him away from his co-workers to only want him for yourself, that sort of thing

yea… that. unfortunately he’s had his fair share of babies like that, bc he’s so generous they end up so spoiled and terrible that even now he’s still getting texts from them. poor guy

he likes if you’re able to bite back with your own sort of fire, he doesnt expect you to if you dont like to but it turns him on seeing you shout at a co-worker for gossiping about your relationship perhaps

he met you through your intern position at his company, and it’s been a few weeks before you’re confused at why the CEO wanted to see you 

hes not one to rush into relationships but he was so interested in seeing you react to being asked to be his sugar baby that he blurts it out and slaps his hand on his mouth. “wrong thing. my bad”

when you’ve been under his care for a few months, he sees how hard you work while completing other assignments at lunch, he wants you to surrender to him when you need the comfort. lets you sleep in his office and reluctantly stroked your hair, shaking when you lean into the affection. ends up sleeping on the floor watching you and gets massive back pain and suffocates when you fall onto your boss at 7am in the morning

unfortunately the two of you were not exactly on the same page that day. you thought it was a one off thing. geto thinks youre already dating. this goes on for a few weeks ;;;

geto NEEVERR asked you out so you were surprised to find that geto wanted to be like, an actual boyfriend and an actual date when he showed you a piece of paper and it was like a new pottery studio that opened down the road

and he just says “i thought we already were dating?????”

yeah like he wasnt giving you more things than usual and being more touchy with you. you didnt want to read into it too much okay!!!!

but it’s fine, because geto was one of the best boyfriend you ever had. youre convinced he would be a great bf even if you werent in this sugar daddy / baby arrangement

geto likes to show you off quietly, a hand on your back and your thigh, or a whisper to your ears that it has the other workers talking, but you don’t mind when the things he says are sometimes the sweetest things. they’re also filthy.

it isnt bc he doesn’t want to show you off, but he likes the attention and gossip when you enter his office for the nth time that day and the eyes on him like he’s committing a crime. he likes the eyes that follow you knowing they can't have you. but he pays them, so they can’t say much

suguru loves to buy things that are for his eyes, going back to the ‘showing you off quietly’ part, like paying for a tattoo on your lower back, an anklet that’s sometimes hidden in your shoe, a belly button piercing, lingerie, he loves it

ofc he loves buying you clothes and dresses too, but he sometimes gets a bit jealous of everyone’s eyes on you so they’re sometimes a little less revealing than you would like

ok i should clarify too: he LIKES everyone’s eyes on you only when he knows he can show and tell them that youre his. but how tf is he supposed to do that with a mere dress??? u get what i mean

he’s not going to be an asshole and not let you wear a revealing piece of apparel that you like tho! but just know what you’ll be getting later at night lol

geto is very on trend as an older person, sometimes sending you tiktok trends you can do or updating you on conventions or events that you are interested in

he likes routine, so everyday he’ll be transferring a set amount of money to you for your daily allowance but sometimes you dont even use it all so it just piles up in your account lol

and he is observant, always wiring you more money than usual if you’re going out with your friends or meeting a friend for a bday, sacrificing his time to learn about your major so he can help you in whatever way he can !!! he’s that sort of bf

gives you handmade gifts sometimes!! it’s soooo endearing when he makes time for it and gives you something that isnt bought w/ money. likes to do those photo ones bc theyre ones that mean more to him, but he also rlly likes writing letters under them and giving you like a seven page letter talking bout why youre a blessing to him

is pretty stylish when he’s not in his suits. likes to wear baggy clothes like he’s nineteen again and he looks young enough to pull it off so you two always look cool when you two go out

weirdly his personality at work and on dates is vastly different from each other. you think that maybe he wants to keep work, work. but later on in the relationship you both realise it’s how you’re so easy-going to be around that he doesn’t have to be dominating with you??? like he’s so okay with you putting bunny ears on him or having his arm hooked around yours instead. basically he’s very comfortable in his masculinity and he wishes he could be like that at work too, but the finance bros would be questioning why this guy was even their CEO

geto listens to you easily. and like i said hes observant, bringing you a glass of water when you’re coughing or opening the blinds of his office when you’re reading. the smile you give him after every favour he does is enough reward for him, and he really doesn’t mind doing all those things for you either.

basically worships you, so when you’re suggesting that his company start having courses for men to learn how to be proper human beings (following your question of why he’s so diff at work vs with you), he’s immediately setting up a meeting to achieve that. the guys who are borderline misogynists obviously leave immediately and hes just like. why didnt i think of that b4????

is always always thinking of you. he’s become so distracted in meetings and conversations sometimes and your spell on him is hypnotising.

the first time he realises he properly loves you (and also wants to marry you) is when you two make love. like yes you’ve fucked and shit but it happens inside a shower where you offered to wash his hair. it’s cute seeing you stand on a small stool to reach his height, but the feel of your fingers massaging the shampoo into his scalp is soooo good. and from there he lets you wash his body with the loofah too, scrubbing down every inch until ofc one thing leads to another

he thinks it was your hands that held so much love, washing his body that the sex was slow and had a lot of feelings laced with it.

he also didn’t want to fall, though. but you slipped a little after coming the first time and geto was able to catch you in time. you shared giggles and a little kiss and he thinks that maybe this life forever with you would be one of the best things to happen to him

his resolve solidifies later when he’s calling his usual tiler to retile the showering part of the bathroom and when he ends the call he just goes would i do this for anyone else?

yeah probably not — and so geto buys a ring the very next day

n*sfw hc’s below

very comfortable with letting you take the lead if you want to, but usually likes to be the one running the show

like gojo he is very open to things but only if you’re okay with it. like you have to be the one to bring it up or he’s afraid he’ll scare you lol

gets turned on easily, but he’s very good at hiding it. like the day you wore a revealing dress to his office. it was so difficult not to moan out when he sees you walk through the door. he wanted to stand up and kiss you SO bad but he was in a zoom meeting with potential clients lmfao

but he made sure you knew you wouldnt be teasing him and getting off so easily that day after he asks you to stay where you were and he ended up making up some lame excuse of having another meeting anyway before he leaves the call and locks the door and slams you against it and he hikes up your dress as he places a leg on his shoulder

geto eats you out right then and there

also rmb how i said he gets jealous of ppl staring at you? well suguru loves it if it were to happen in a sexual context and he gets to fuck you in front of everybody. he just cant show them you belong to him at a normal event in a dress he bought, but he’s totally fine with pounding you from behind and letting them watch as you get ruined with tears and mascara running down your face

can be really mean behind doors if he’s not sweet with you. you like to tease him!!!! Sometimes you’re punished for it!!!! geto loves both ends of the spectrum: denying you your high and overstimulating you. he only ever denies you if youre being a brat but usually he likes to make you cum on his tongue multiple times before he’s fucking you

he enjoys your face of want and need, either grinding against him to cum (denial) or pushing him away despite your body wanting it (overstim)

sometimes makes you work for your allowance and tells you to tell him who’s fucking you so good just for some money in your pocket. your pussy is too good so he was going to give it to you anyway 

is not opposed to voyeurism. usually he brings his best friend over to fuck you and bc he’s a whiny bitch, geto gets off to both of you fucking like dogs in heat with a slow pace to his hand. often initiates threesomes with gojo and makes him the middle man, fucking him while gojo fucks you and he loves it every time. sometimes he makes gojo watch the two of you too

but he also loves it when you take two cocks in you, him up your pussy bc youre his, first and foremost, while satoru takes your ass. 

regarding sex, suguru likes it when you take the reins to pleasure yourself. he gets off seeing you use him as ive mentioned in the previous drabble, and just like the denial / overstim part, loves to see your mouth contort into an ‘o’ along with your rolled back eyes. bounce on his dick, ride his face, slobber over his cock while you rub your clit, he fuckin loves it

not big on the daddy thing either, but it depends on his mood tbh. im not sure how that works but he likes when you use it when youre deep in subspace and just going limp as he fucks you and all can manage is moaning out small “daddy’s” helplessly

warnings for drabble: gojo watches, sub!gojo, voyeurism, insinuation of stsg, exhibitionism, m! masturbation, overstimulation, semi-public sex, oral (f and slight m receiving) / cunnilingus, clit stimulation, pet names, praise, cum eating, implied threesome + 2nd round

“suguru— no, f-fuck, they’re gonna hear!” you muffle your moans with your mouth, hand clasped tight onto your lips while you’re pressed up against the door. you’ve been like this for three orgasms already, legs shaking while you struggle to keep your knees from buckling under you. it’s like geto doesn’t even care how the office door is so thin, occasional thumps occurring from how geto pushes you against the wood. the workers outside obviously know what’s going on, but they don’t dare say a word.

“let me enjoy this, princess,” he manages to say quickly before going back to slurping up your juices, but while you think your situation is bad, you’re glancing over to gojo in geto’s office chair, hand stroking his cock languidly, but every so often you can see how satoru thrusts his hips into the air, needing anything but his own hand right now. “and keep eye contact with satoru.”

geto purrs out his best friend’s name, pulling your hips towards his relentless mouth as your arousal drips down your inner thighs and legs. across you, there’s gojo who looks like he wants to touch the both of you so terribly, but is only subjected to tearful eyes and his warm hand that doesn’t compare to suguru’s or your mouth, little pants leaving his mouth. he watches as you grind your hips into his best friend’s mouth, the obscene noises of your sopping wet cunt makes him twitch in his hand.

“babygirl… suguru…” he whines out, sweat dripping down his body at the stuffiness of the office while the slick noises of him stroking his length reverberates throughout the room. geto hums at his begging voice, but only sucks on your clit harder and it makes you moan out, hands getting lost in his long black hair while your eyes are threatening to roll to the back of your head. the only ground you have now is satoru’s bright blue ones, a shiver going through you when he whimpers out your name

“you’re doing so well, s-satoru… shit,” you’re calling out to the white-haired male who locks eyes with you, both turned on at such a sight: the sweaty hair stuck to your face and your beautiful sounds, the flush on gojo’s cheeks and his angry tip that’s leaking pre-cum. “suguruu… oh my god—”

“yeah?” he speaks in between slobbering all over your pussy, “so fuckin’ wet for me, baby,” flicking and playing with your puffy, sensitive clit with his tongue until you hunch over him on a particular lick, the leg over his shoulder squeezing him so much that it cramps and you’re cumming suddenly and you’re forgetting about satoru and everyone outside. your head slams so hard against the door that you get a little lightheaded, but the crashing of your fourth orgasm is all you can fixate on as your body shudders and incessant whines escape your mouth.

“my favourite meal of the day,” geto smiles from below you and grins when you mumble out how it’s more of his fourth meal of the day, taking a hand from his hair before he places a kiss on the back of it and spares a glance towards gojo who’s close to crying.

with a nod from suguru, you’re walking on shaky legs before kneeling before satoru, wrapping your lips ’round his tip and that’s all it takes for him to cum, shooting ropes upon ropes of hot semen down your throat as you stroke his base. the other is bucking his hips into your mouth at the sensitivity, moaning out both your name and suguru’s.

“attagirl.” you slyly smile at the praise that befalls on your ears before showing both of them the cum that’s left on your tongue, already excited for the next round.

[whizzing-fizzbee]

Very NSFW request if you don’t mind 😂 Idk if this is sexy (I think it is lol) but can you imagine writing a fic/ one shot where they’re in 7th year, and Sebastian and MC are alone somewhere chatting, and they start talking about sex - both having some experience in this. They’re just friends (but like each other) Seb reveals quite sheepishly in convo that he cums too quickly through bjs/sex. And she… offers to help ‘coach’ him lol? Which seems insane at first but then she says that she can help him through it, how he can trust her blah blah, and it convinces him (plus I think deep down he’s dying to be with her like this, and so is she). So they do it. And I can imagine it being quite intimate, hot, and maybe kinda funny at times.

(I asked you and applin by the way. I’m not sure if you’d both want to write different takes on it, collab, or decide who should write it - but I thought I’d mention it)

Hellooo lovely! Thank you for this fun request. Here's Part I -- this'll be at least a two-, maybe three-part series, so buckle up. (:

What Are Friends For? | Part I

Sebastian Sallow x F!OC

Rating: Explicit/MDNI (smut, language); all characters are 18+ Words: ~8,300 Tags: friends with benefits, friends to lovers, sexual exploration, oral sex, semi-public sex, mutual pining, 3rd person POV

Notes: Characters are 18-year-old seventh-year Slytherins.

Read on AO3 or below the cut.

Spring had settled nicely over the Scottish Highlands, meaning Sebastian Sallow could be found outdoors. He took advantage of the favorable weather whenever he could, as the winter months tended to make him rather stir crazy. 

On this particularly warm afternoon – or at least warm by April’s standards – Sebastian lounged lazily on his back in the grass near the edge of the Great Lake. He had charmed pebbles from the lakeshore to hover above him, perfect for some Confringo target practice.

Sebastian squinted an eye as he aimed and blasted the small rocks apart, leaving little trace of their existence, until one final rock remained. Sebastian followed it with the tip of his wand, waiting for the right moment, when–

“Accio!” 

The rock zipped from the air above Sebastian straight to the open hand of Stella Alves. She smirked at Sebastian, her wand hand still outstretched as she tossed the rock lazily toward him. It bounced off his stomach and into the grass.

“There you are,” Stella said as she approached. She sank to the ground next to Sebastian, her legs outstretched as she sat back on her hands. “I thought maybe Sharp had given you detention for Friday’s incident.”

“That incident wasn’t my fault,” Sebastian drawled. “It was Weasley’s.”

“Oh? Garreth forced you to add lionfish spine to your cauldron?” Stella mused.

“No, but he left it on the table near my ingredients, and I accidentally picked some up while I was adding griffin claw,” Sebastian noted. “Not my fault.”

“Fair enough,” Stella snorted. “Guess I should’ve known you’d be out here. Though we do have that arithmancy exam to be studying for.”

“Callum’s got Violet McDowell in our dorm room,” Sebastian explained. “Can’t study in there.”

“And you can’t study in the library? Or the Undercroft?”

“I suppose,” Sebastian said with a dramatic sigh. “But it’s far too nice out to be cooped up inside.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

The pair fell quiet for a moment, interrupted only by the occasional chirps from the birds perched in the surrounding trees. They both stared outward at the lake, its shimmering surface guarding the inhabitants of its indigo depths.

“Wait,” Stella finally said with a furrowed brow. “I thought Violet was going out with Andrew.”

“That was last month, apparently.”

“Oh.”

“That doesn’t mean you should get back with your ex, by the way.”

Stella turned her head to glare at Sebastian. “And who said anything about that? Andrew and I broke up ages ago.”

“Just checking,” Sebastian said in a sing-song tone. Stella scoffed at him. 

“Do you really think that poorly of me?”

“Of course not. But I do remember how in love with Larson you were.”

“I was not!” Stella insisted, her cheeks tinged with a treasonous shade of strawberry. “It was nothing more than a harmless fling.”

Sebastian tilted his head for dramatic effect. “A harmless fling,” he deadpanned. “Stella, darling, the two of you had to be damn near pried apart with a wedge every day.”

“So?” Stella countered with narrowed eyes. “A healthy sex life is nothing to be ashamed of. You of all people should know that.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’ve no right to judge me for any of my past romantic encounters.”

“Oh, that’s what we’re calling them now,” Sebastian snickered. Stella smacked him gently on the back of the head.

“Sounds like you’re just bitter that you’re not the one in your dorm room with Violet McDowell,” she teased. Sebastian barked a sharp laugh.

“Darling, I’ve had Violet McDowell,” he noted. “Twice. Maybe three times. Can’t remember.”

“Charming,” Stella muttered blankly. Sebastian flashed her a cheeky grin. “Is there anyone you haven’t defiled?” Stella demanded.

“Other than you? Maybe a handful,” Sebastian chirped. He laughed at Stella’s disgusted expression. “Only joking, doll. Despite your harsh and judgmental assumptions, I haven’t made it a point to bed half of Hogwarts.”

“Oh? Then how many of our classmates have you had?”

They were inching toward tricky territory. Sure, Stella and Sebastian talked about sex, but they rarely revealed explicit details. Doing so always felt too suggestive, too flirtatious; it crossed an unspoken line that the pair avoided at all costs. But Stella had grown tired of the boys Hogwarts had to offer. It made her impatient and impulsive. Sebastian was the last man standing, because he was truly the only one standing – the one man she wanted and couldn’t have.

Meanwhile, Sebastian swallowed. He and Stella kept very few secrets from one another. After all, Stella had kept quiet about Sebastian’s sinister slip-up their fifth year, meaning Sebastian’s secrets couldn’t get much worse.

But there was one, tiny thing he didn’t want Stella to know. It was a secret that caused him constant stress, fearful that one of their female classmates would spill it. That was why Sebastian sometimes embellished his sexual escapades – to conceal the embarrassing occurrences that made him insecure.

“A-are you really asking me how many girls I’ve been with?” Sebastian asked, hopeful his tone sounded more amused than anxious.

“Why not?” Stella challenged. She, too, silently prayed her confidence was masking her pounding heart. “I’ll tell you the same.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. Now this was an intriguing offer. Though he knew Stella had sexual experience, she had never disclosed just how many of their classmates she’d granted such a privilege. 

But that would also mean revealing his own number of past partners. And while he would never judge Stella for her number, whatever it was, he feared she’d judge him for his. It wasn’t nearly as high as he often implied, though he’d never explicitly revealed it.

“All right,” Sebastian finally agreed. “Out with it then.”

Stella blanched. “What? No, you have to go first.”

“That hardly seems fair.”

“Fine. On the count of three?”

“Fine. One, two… three– four,” Sebastian revealed. He couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like Stella said the same.

“Well?” Stella demanded with narrowed eyes. “What is it?”

Sebastian frowned in confusion. “I told you – four.”

“Oh. I thought you were still counting.”

“No, four is… is the number.”

“Oh.”

Sebastian suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. He wasn’t sure how Stella would react, but certainly not like that. Not with a simple, anticlimactic oh.

“Oh?” he demanded. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Stella’s cheeks were deep crimson now. “Nothing,” she said quickly, her voice squeaking several octaves higher than usual. “It’s just… I just…” Her eyes suddenly became fascinated by her own shoes. “I just thought yours would be higher, is all.”

“Why do you sound disappointed?”

“I’m not!” Stella insisted. “I mean, it’s not like it matters. It’s not like I care. I’m just surprised, is all.”

“Did you really think I’ve been with half the school?”

“Maybe not that many,” Stella said as she fidgeted uncomfortably. “Just more than me.”

“It’s not a competition,” Sebastian laughed. 

“I know that! I just- I really thought yours would be higher.”

“You really think I’m like that?”

“You know I don’t,” Stella huffed. “I just thought you were way more experienced than me.”

“Why, you want me to teach you a few things?”

“Sebastian!”

“Only joking, darling.”

Sebastian could sense the shift in their connection. Stella was genuinely surprised by his revelation, and seemed to feel guilty for it. Sebastian, ever the protector of Stella and her feelings, decided some vulnerability might relieve her discomfort.

“You’d be surprised,” Sebastian said, his eyes decisively avoiding hers. “By my experience – or lack of. It’s… it’s not been easy for me.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Stella asked with a curious gaze that Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to meet. 

“It means that sometimes… I struggle,” Sebastian said carefully. Stella clearly wasn’t catching on, because she was staring at him in utter confusion. 

“Struggle with what?” 

“With… sex,” Sebastian answered through a clenched jaw. He couldn’t believe he was revealing any of this to her of all people. He could have sworn he’d dig an early grave before ever admitting this, especially to the one and only girl whose opinion actually mattered to him.

“How do you mean?” Stella had now turned to face him fully, her attention clearly engrossed by this exchange.

Sebastian chickened out. “The details aren’t important,” he said, unable to quell the surge in fear that gripped his nerves.

“Seb, it’s me,” Stella said in her best encouraging tone. In truth, it only made Sebastian more uneasy. “You can tell me.”

There was no turning back from this. They hadn’t just toed the boundary, they’d leapt over it with a running start. Sebastian sighed.

“Sometimes I… finish quicker than I’d like,” he said through gritted teeth. Silence answered him. He considered flinging himself into the lake and sinking to its onyx depths, never to return and never to address such an embarrassing revelation.

“I see,” Stella finally said tactfully. Sebastian’s insecurities weren’t squashed.

“Yeah,” was all he could manage. The wheels in Stella’s head were turning at breakneck speed, desperate to find the right words. She was stunned. She’d never met someone as confident and self-assured as Sebastian. Though his bravado sometimes stoked her ire, she’d always assumed it carried over into the bedroom.

It was a vulnerable admission and Stella was touched to know Sebastian trusted her with it.

“Does… does it happen every time?” she asked gently.

Sebastian shrugged. “Not every time. But more often than I’d like to admit.”

“Oh.” Stella bit her lip, unsure how to proceed, but even more unsure of just how much information she was willing to seek. The thought – the dreadfully detailed visions – of Sebastian doing those acts with their classmates made Stella want to drive her own wand through her right temple. “Is it… do you think it’s because you’re just… excited to be with them?”

Sebastian began to sweat. Beads formed over his brow and hairline as he shifted in his spot on the grass. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I mean, it’s always exciting for me. I am an 18-year-old bloke, after all. But it’s not like I’ve ever been too enamored with any of the girls I’ve been with. Especially since I’ve been with a few of them more than once.”

“I see.”

“I guess maybe I just overthink it.” Sebastian was rambling now. His brain screamed at him to stop talking, that shutting the fuck up would be his best bet, but untamed words kept pouring from his mouth. “And maybe overthinking it makes me tense up. And maybe all that tension makes it hard for me to… contain myself.”

“I see.” Stella was quite aware that she wasn’t contributing much to the discussion at this point, but she couldn’t speak freely. She couldn’t tell Sebastian she was secretly relieved he hadn’t had dozens of girls in his bed. She couldn’t reveal that she wanted to be one of those girls. And she certainly couldn’t tell him that his admission only made her want him more.

Could she?

What if there was a way she could get what she had always wanted without admitting it? Would that be wrong and deceitful? She wouldn’t act without Sebastian’s full consent, but would it be wrong to initiate sex with him when she was secretly in love with him? And what if doing so made her fall even harder for him? 

Or worse, what if she offered and he said no?

But would it be so wrong for two friends to rely on each other to improve their natural desires to be good in bed? And shouldn’t two friends be the ideal participants in something as simple as self-improvement? 

Stella’s silence was driving Sebastian mad. He began to wonder how immoral it would be to obliviate her and make her forget they’d ever had such a conversation. But just as he was reminding himself that doing so was absolutely demented, she smiled kindly at him.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll sort it all out in time,” she said, hoping he understood her sincerity. “Maybe you just need a little more practice.”

“Er, right,” Sebastian agreed. Shame creeped across his cheeks in the form of a deep blush. He felt like an absolute fool. Surely, she must think he was a pathetic, sorry excuse of a man – an amateur who had no idea how to please a woman. And surely, she’d never see him on a romantic level now.

But Sebastian noticed that Stella was chewing thoughtfully on her bottom lip. He waited for her to speak her mind, squirming as he fought to suppress his impatience.

Stella was working up the courage to propose something so bold, so forbidden, she’d surely die if Sebastian said no. And there was a very good chance he would. After all, they’d formed an impenetrable bond over the last near-three years. If Sebastian had any romantic interest in her, he would have certainly acted upon his feelings, right? 

Such a proposition could absolutely disintegrate their friendship. But this might be Stella’s only shot at exploring Sebastian Sallow in the one way she’d never known. She willed herself to be bold enough to take a chance.

“What if…” she began slowly, her palms sweating as she spoke. “What if I helped you practice?”

Her offer hovered in the air between them, a heavy haze that damn near made Sebastian choke as he processed the words. He had to have heard wrong. 

“Wh-what?” he said stupidly. “Practice what?”

“You know,” Stella said, fighting to maintain a casual air though her breathless words betrayed her. “Sex. I could help you practice.”

Sebastian shifted, certain that doing so would wake him from the very obvious dream he was having. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d dreamt of Stella in such a shameful manner. There was no other explanation for this. In no other realm of possibility would his best friend and the object of his unrequited desires be offering to have sex with him. But he wasn’t waking up. There were no bed curtains mocking him to remind him he was alone. There was no cold sweat or arousal that would need relieving in the boys’ showers. This was real.

“A-and how exactly would we do that?” Sebastian stuttered.

“We could just practice,” Stella said simply. “I could, you know, coach you through things. Different acts and positions and whatnot. We could practice them together until you, you know, gain more confidence.” When Sebastian didn’t immediately reply, it was Stella’s turn to babble on anxiously. “I just figure it makes sense, you know? We help each other out with everything else. It wouldn’t have to be any different than how we practice dueling together, or study together, right?”

But it would be different. They both knew that. But they were both too driven by desire to think better of it.

“And you’d… you’d be okay doing all that?” Sebastian asked softly. “With me?”

“Why not?” Stella offered boldly, though her shaking hands suggested otherwise. “I mean, we trust each other, right?”

“Right.”

“So why not? It seems like this could benefit us both. We can learn from each other, like everything else we do.”

Sebastian wasn’t sure how to respond. Of course he was going to say yes. He knew this arrangement could send their entire friendship spiraling south, but he was too desperate to know how it would feel to be with Stella to say no. This was his one and only chance to feel her, and to potentially convince her to consider him romantically. He could sweep her off her feet and make it impossible for her to think of anyone else.

Except there was that tiny, little problem of his inability to last long enough to prove himself to her. 

But if there was one thing Sebastian couldn’t resist (other than Stella), it was a challenge. He would learn. He’d figure it out or die trying. If this was his only shot at winning Stella over, he’d find a way, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to squander it.

But he also didn’t want to appear too eager. He didn’t want Stella to know he’d spent damn near every night dreaming about her in ways that would make her hair curl. She couldn’t know he’d spent day in and day out scheming ways to make her fall for him. He couldn’t let her know he was hopelessly, haphazardly in love with her.

“Well, I do suppose we tend to work together on everything else,” Sebastian mused carefully. 

“Do you… find me attractive enough that you could… you know…” Stella paused, terrified to ask such a question. “Become aroused.”

“Huh? Oh! Erm, of course.” The moment Sebastian answered, he wanted to sink into the ground, never to be seen again. But how else was he supposed to answer such a loaded question?

Stella was fucking stunning. Surely, she knew that. Surely, Sebastian didn’t have to tell her so. But he wanted to more than anything. He wanted to yank her by the collar of her shirt, pull her in close and tell her she was so beautiful, it made the heart inside his chest hurt and scream for relief.

“You’re beautiful, Stell. Do… do you find me, er, handsome enough to… you know?” Sebastian stammered.

Stella rolled her eyes. It was her most common defensive mechanism, her strongest veil for her insecurities. “Seb, come on,” she said, gazing at him with a pointed stare. She blinked for emphasis. “All the girls in our year practically fling themselves at you in hopes you’ll make them your wife when we graduate. You have to know you’re handsome.”

“Was just making sure.” 

And then came the silence. It squeezed itself around them until both of their airways felt constricted.

“So, are you saying you want to try it then?” Stella finally had the nerve to ask. She tucked her hands beneath her thighs in an attempt to keep herself from fiddling with her hair. It was her common tell for nervousness.

“I do if you do,” Sebastian replied, far too aware of the tightening sensation happening within his trousers. All this talk of sex was forcing the blood to rush from his brain to the one place he didn’t want Stella to see. But she’d see it all soon enough. 

“Alright,” Stella said with an air of forced confidence that she prayed sounded sexy and alluring. “When would you like to start?”

“Um, whenever it’s convenient for you.” Sebastian wanted to smack his palm against his forehead. He was speaking like he was in a formal job interview or having tea with the Minister of Magic, not agreeing to sex with his own best friend.

“We could start now,” Stella offered shyly. She glanced downward at the tent forming in Sebastian’s lap. Sebastian reddened even more.

“Oh. Okay, sure.”

Stella swallowed. This was it. She and Sebastian were going to plunge into the very risky waters of intimacy. But more importantly, he trusted her enough to guide him through one of life’s most personal, vulnerable endeavors. She wanted to get this right.

“We could use the Beasts classroom,” Stella offered. There were no classes that day. There’d be no reason for anyone to go anywhere near the classroom. At least that’s what Sebastian told himself as he found himself nodding in agreement.

Stella climbed to her feet and brushed loose blades of grass from the backs of her legs. It was then that Sebastian noticed how her skirt clung to her thighs. The pressure in his pants mounted.

Stella offered him her hand to help him up, her eyes averted as she led him toward the empty Beasts classroom. When they reached Professor Howin’s desk, Stella finally gathered the nerve to look Sebastian in the eye. Her gaze softened as she realized he was just as nervous as she was. The ever-confident Sebastian Sallow was unsure.

They didn’t speak at first, staring at one another as they both waited for the other to initiate action. Finally, Stella cleared her throat.

“Maybe we should start small,” she offered gently. “You know, foreplay stuff. Does that… does that sound good to you?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sebastian croaked.

Stella’s eyes shifted to Sebastian’s very evident erection. Her breath hitched at the notion that it was all for her; because of her. She’d touched herself in the quiet solitude of her bed to the very thought on countless occasions.

As Stella subconsciously ran her tongue across her bottom lip in thought, Sebastian clenched his jaw. His cock was pressing far too hard against the stiff fabric of his trousers for his liking, and the sight of Stella looking so fucking seductive was already testing his control.

“Maybe you should lean back against the desk?” Stella suggested. Sebastian obeyed without a word. Stella stepped toward him, her nerves still evident as she slowly lifted a hand to reach toward Sebastian’s erection. “May I…”

Sebastian nodded silently, too terrified that words would ruin the moment. Stella eyed him for a moment longer until her fingertips traced gently along the length of Sebastian’s erection. He inhaled sharply through his nose.

“I’ll go slow,” Stella whispered. Her fingers moved with tact over his taut trousers, tracing tantalizing lines over him. She suppressed a moan as she realized just how hard – and big – he was. She could swear she felt Sebastian’s cock twitch beneath her touch. “Does that feel good?” she asked innocently.

Sebastian nodded slowly, his failing attempts at controlling his breathing evident.

“I’m going to pick up the pace,” Stella warned, her eyes searching Sebastian’s for any indication he wanted her to stop. Instead, he nodded earnestly. “Tell me if it’s too much. Just… just keep breathing.”

She stroked his length faster, the friction of the fabric rough beneath the pads of her fingers. A grunt rumbled from Sebastian’s throat.

He knew this would be difficult. It always was. But he hadn’t properly accounted for the fact that this was Stella touching him. The way she was determined to take care of him, the way her voice purred as she spoke… it all made his self-control even slimmer. He was terrified he was going to embarrass himself.

“Relax,” Stella ordered gently. “Remember, it’s just me, Seb. Trust me.”

She clearly had no idea how much she affected Sebastian. So as she gazed at him with a soft, doe-eyed stare, Sebastian’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the desk behind him. 

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut as he fought for control over his body. He didn’t want to tense, certain that would result in an accident. But when he felt Stella’s fingers fumbling with the button of his trousers, his eyes shot open wide and his spine straightened.

“Alright?” Stella asked, her voice raspier than usual. Sebastian pretended not to notice and nodded his reply. His throat dried as he watched Stella reach inside his open trousers and fish his erection out. It popped eagerly from the fabric, but remained rigid in Stella’s hand. Sebastian held his breath as he watched her fingers curl around him before she began to stroke him with her soft hand. The surreal sight felt like a vision only meant for one of Sebastian’s most explicit dreams.

Sebastian cursed under his breath at the sensation. It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d been touched like this, but this was Stella. This actually meant something, because she meant everything.

“Relax,” Stella repeated. “Stop tensing so much. It’s just me.” She flashed him a reassuring smile, unaware that her curved lips and bright eyes were Sebastian’s very undoing. “Take a deep breath and exhale slowly, okay?”

Sebastian nodded and obeyed, exhaling until his shoulders slackened and the tightness in his abdomen eased.

“Now close your eyes,” Stella added. Sebastian’s eyes fluttered shut. “Tell me what you feel.”

“I feel… fuck, that feels so good,” Sebastian breathed. 

“Tell me. Describe it.”

“Huh?”

“Just do what I say, you git.”

Sebastian wasn’t sure how describing their current sex act would help, but he certainly was in no position to argue. The only position he wanted to be in was on top of – or beneath – Stella, preferably with much less clothing between them.

“Your hands… they’re smooth,” Sebastian murmured with closed eyes. “Warm, too.”

“What do you usually think about when you come?”

Sebastian resisted the urge to pop open a panicked eye. He couldn’t exactly tell Stella that the answer was always her. He couldn’t possibly explain that picturing her plump lips, curious eyes and the curve of her full hips was always the tipping point that sent his body into a euphoric state. She couldn’t know she was the cause for his filthiest behavior. 

“Erm, I don’t know,” Sebastian lied. “I think about lots of different things.” He grunted as he felt Stella’s thumb swipe over the tip of his cock. 

“How’s this feel?” Stella asked, her hand pumping harder. 

“S-so good,” Sebastian panted. 

“Do you feel like you’re going to… you know?”

“I-I don’t know.”

Stella’s line of questioning stopped for a moment as she continued to stroke him. She was thankful Sebastian’s closed eyes couldn’t see the flush creeping over her, or the way her eyes lingered on his cock. He felt like velvet and looked like he was big enough to fill her completely – and then some. It made the ache between her thighs throb.

Stella watched as Sebastian’s chest began to rise and fall, his labored breaths audible inside the classroom. He didn’t notice as Stella fell to her knees, her hand still dragging around his shaft.

Sebastian’s eyes shot open again the moment he felt the moisture of her mouth surrounding him. This was a display beyond anything he could envision – such a sinful act performed by an angelic figure was a paradox his brain could never conjure. It was enough to make him moan. 

“Remember to breathe, okay?” Stella said, her eyes peering up at him. She returned her lips to his cock and Sebastian bit back a groan as they tugged around his tip. 

The classroom soon filled with the coarse sounds of lips pulling around wet skin. Sebastian’s hands tangled in Stella’s hair, tightening as the coil inside him did the same. He was careening toward the edge, unsure how to stop himself.

He tried to breathe through it, but he was far beyond the threshold of sensory overload. The feeling of Stella’s mouth hungrily engulfing his cock, the vision of her on her knees before him, the sounds of her gurgling around his length – Sebastian was sure there wasn’t a single soul who would be immune to such divine sensations.

“Stella,” Sebastian panted. “I can’t-”

Stella hummed, the vibrations coursing around Sebastian’s cock until he was surging toward his ending. He didn’t want this to stop, but couldn’t help but feel impressed with himself for lasting as long as he had, especially given the circumstances.

“Stella…” Sebastian repeated. The warning merely spurred Stella on. She was eager to prove to him just how worthy she was to coach him through this. She'd show him just how good she could be at this - better than Violet McDowell or any other dumb girl who dared to approach Sebastian. Her cheeks hollowed and she sucked harder, her eyes watering as Sebastian’s tip dabbed the back of her throat. 

Sebastian let out a sharp shout, his hips jutting forward as his cock twitched. The small of his back pressed against the edge of the desk as he spilled into Stella’s mouth. Her throat closed around his tip, the warmth of her flesh guiding his release downward as she swallowed.

When it was over, Stella released him, his cock bobbing as it popped from her mouth. She remained on her knees while Sebastian caught his breath, his chest quietly rising and falling as he slumped against the desk. 

They didn’t speak. Sebastian quelled the urge to thank Stella, to praise her and tell her how fucking good she was, while Stella withheld the desire to beg Sebastian for more.

“You alright?” Sebastian finally asked, his eyes searching Stella for any signs that she was upset. But she smiled upward at him and nodded assuredly. 

Sebastian extended a hand to help her to her feet until the pair stood, the awkward silence exposing their uncertainty on how to proceed. But Stella reminded herself that she had promised to help Sebastian, and she was never one to back out on her word.

“So how was that?” she asked casually as Sebastian tucked himself back into his trousers.

Sebastian’s brain stuttered. The truth was it was the most incredible encounter he’d ever had, simply because he’d shared it with her. But that kind of honesty would surely sever whatever this was – and the entirety of their friendship.

“It was… you… you’re brilliant,” Sebastian finally managed, still shocked that such a lewd act had just occurred with the girl he'd deemed his best friend for more than two years. Stella seemed content with his analysis.

“I think the problem is you’re just so damn tense the entire time,” she noted. It was bizarre to be assessing a sexual encounter with her best friend like they were discussing quidditch tactics, but she had offered to coach him, hadn’t she?

But her evaluation had fallen on deaf ears, because now, Sebastian’s guilt was dissecting his brain. 

“You didn’t… I didn’t…” he started, his voice trailing off. “...How can I repay the favor?”

“You don’t need to,” Stella said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Not this time.”

Sebastian frowned – mostly because he didn’t want to be greedy, but also because he was desperate to touch her and wouldn’t forgive himself if he missed the opportunity to do so. He had to know how she felt, so yielding beneath his touch, how she moaned, how she looked when she fell apart at his orchestration.

“Please,” Sebastian pressed. “I can’t let you walk away without your share.”

Stella snorted. “Seb, really, it’s fine,” she promised. “You can make it up to me later.” She smirked as she smoothed out her skirt. “I’m pretty sure we’re just getting started.”

—

Sebastian was certain the entire afternoon had been some kind of demented dream when he woke up the following morning. But the details were far too vivid in his memory to have been a figment of his imagination; Stella’s fingers tracing over every ridge of his cock, her lips raw and red after they had wrapped around him, the plush sensation of her throat hugging his tip. It was better than any dream.

But now, how was he meant to face her? Guilt had clawed away at him the entire evening for not returning the favor. Now, all he could think about was how eager he was to do so. And what about their friendship? Had they really been stupid enough to jeopardize their entire bond all because of some suppressed sexual tension?

The war within his head made Sebastian want to sink into his porridge at breakfast. Ominis, sensing his friend’s tension, raised an eyebrow from the seat across from him.

“Alright mate?” Ominis asked. But Sebastian was too busy straightening in his seat to hear him. Stella was approaching the Slytherin table.

“Good morning,” she said breezily as she took the seat next to Ominis. Sebastian watched as she reached for a pastry, his eyes glued to her hands – those same hands that grabbed at his cock just hours before. He swallowed.

“Morning,” he managed. His eyes searched Stella for any indication of awkward tension, but she seemed as calm and content as ever.

“Have you two studied for tomorrow’s arithmancy exam?” Ominis asked. 

“No,” Stella said as she shook her head, her right cheek puffed out from a large bite of pastry. “Not yet. Haven’t had the time.”

“Me neither,” Sebastian chimed in.

“Haven’t had the time? What were the two of you doing all day yesterday? I didn’t see either of you after lunch,” Ominis said suspiciously. Stella shrugged while Sebastian began to spiral toward a panic attack. 

“Oh, we went to Hogsmeade,” Stella explained with casual ease. “I rescued a handful of diricrawl the other day and took them to Brood and Peck.” 

Sebastian blinked. It was rather alarming – and impressive – how easily the lie left Stella’s lips. Of course, Ominis wouldn’t mind if he learned his two closest friends had spent an afternoon engaged in illicit sex acts, but none of it actually meant anything, right? Meaning there was no point in disclosing such details to Ominis.

Sebastian was pulled from his spiraling thoughts when Stella’s stare shifted to him. “Perhaps we can study tonight?” she asked him. Her eyes glimmered pointedly and Sebastian picked up on her implication.

“Er, yeah,” he agreed as his stomach performed a series of somersaults. “Tonight.”

“Well, as enthralling as it would be to pour over charts tonight, I’ll have to leave you two to it,” Ominis prattled on, unaware that no one would be studying numerical values that evening. “I’ve got to pen an ancient runes essay and I promised to help Violet McDowell.”

Sebastian couldn’t help but snicker. “That all you’re helping her with, mate?”

Ominis scowled as Stella snorted. “Unlike some people, I actually care about my studies,” he said, his tone taking on a self-righteous air. “Right, Stella?”

Sebastian couldn’t help but bite back a laugh as Stella nearly choked on her pumpkin juice. “Oh, right you are, Ominis,” she said as she stole a quick glance at Sebastian. “Some of us are quite dedicated to our studies.”

Sebastian smirked into his own juice.

—

Hours later, Sebastian found himself pacing outside of the library. Stella had instructed him to meet her there, which sent Sebastian into a confused, manic state.

Had she decided she’d no longer help him with his little problem? Had yesterday been a letdown? Had she expected more from him? Why weren’t they meeting someplace more private? Had Sebastian misread Stella’s eyes? Were they actually going to study? He’d left all his books in his dormitory.

“Hey.”

Sebastian looked up to see Stella approaching. She wore another skirt that barely draped from her curves, making it difficult for Sebastian to focus on much else – though the top button of her blouse had popped open, serving as another excruciating distraction.

“Hey,” Sebastian croaked. Stella raised an amused eyebrow at him.

“Alright?” she asked.

Sebastian nodded. “Ready to… study?” 

Something flickered in Stella’s eyes that told Sebastian books and notes were not on the evening’s itinerary. “Ready,” she said, hoping she sounded more intriguing than nervous.

She started toward the nearest library door and Sebastian followed as she descended the staircase. The library was quiet, even for its usual standards. A small group of students sat at the right table, anxiously shuffling through Transfiguration notes. A fifth-year girl sat quietly in one corner, a romance novel open in her lap, while Duncan Hobhouse was flipping through an Herbology book at a table to himself.

“Come on,” Stella whispered as she led Sebastian to a table at the far end of the library, free from any students. She gathered an armful of books from the nearest shelf and dropped them on the table, her chair quietly scraping against the wood floor. She opened one to a random page to make it appear as if she was studying.

Sebastian took the seat next to her, his knees feeling wobbly as he lowered himself. He sat with a stiff back, his posture uncharacteristically prim and proper. It made Stella smirk.

“Relax!” she hissed quietly, one hand finding the top of Sebastian’s left knee beneath the table. It was anything but soothing. The muscles of Sebastian’s thighs went rigid and Stella gave his knee a gentle squeeze. His trousers were already feeling tight. Stella snuck a sideways glance at Sebastian, who was holding his breath. “If you make it through this test, I’ll reward you with something even better.”

Merlin, help him. He was a goner.

Stella slid a book in front of him. “Here,” she instructed. “Pretend you’re reading this.”

If her hand hadn’t been wandering up his leg, Sebastian would have laughed. It was an Introduction to Dueling book meant for first-years.

Sebastian flipped the book open to its center pages and focused on the words to keep himself from reacting to Stella’s hand, which was presently exploring his inner thigh. He gripped the edge of the table when it found his erection.

“How are you so hard already?” Stella whispered in his ear. Sebastian shot her a sideways glare.

“Kind of difficult to be anything but hard when you’re making lofty promises,” he growled back.

The friction of Stella’s hand running over the fabric of Sebastian’s trousers was just as glorious and agonizing as it had been the day before. Sebastian began to wonder if he was a hopeless case; a lost cause, meant to live his days in misery because he was too infatuated with his best friend to focus on their “practice.”

Stella shuffled in her seat and before Sebastian could react, she was unbuttoning his pants. 

“Are you mad?” he hissed. Stella merely shrugged.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“...No.”

"That's what I thought."

Stella’s hand disappeared, her fingers grazing the skin of Sebastian’s waist before they found the base of his cock inside his pants. Sebastian chewed his bottom lip to stifle a groan. Stella traced a teasing finger down the full length of his shaft until it found the tip, where she made tiny circular motions. Her movements were slow and tantalizing, signaling her genuine intent to help Sebastian learn to withstand such pleasure.

But the forbidden nature of their act was making it far too difficult for Sebastian to focus on the task at hand. The thrill of sharing such a salacious moment with Stella made his heightened arousal evident in his flushed cheeks and strained breathing. Stella seemed to notice he was struggling, because her strokes around his cock became slower and gentler.

“Close your eyes,” she hummed quietly. Sebastian nodded and let his eyelids flutter shut. Stella squirmed against her chair, her own arousal testing her patience. As much as she enjoyed the power of controlling Sebastian’s ultimate undoing, she was desperate for her own. She wanted nothing more than for him to treat her the same.

But for now, Stella was content with studying Sebastian’s face. She gazed at him in quiet adoration, her eyes scanning his flushed cheeks and the locs of tousled hair that had fallen out of place. She watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched with certain strokes of his cock, particularly the way the muscles strained whenever her thumb pressed against his tip. She would have sold her soul to merely climb into his lap and kiss every freckle on his face.

Her focus on Sebastian’s handsome features forced Stella’s attention to falter. Just as she found herself wondering if Sebastian was good with his own hands, Sophronia Franklin rounded a corner and strode into view.

Stella jumped, her surprise causing her fist to squeeze around Sebastian’s shaft as her elbow smashed against the table with a sharp bang. She swore loudly as the pain stung through her arm while Sebastian yelped, his eyes popping open in surprise.

Stella did her best to remain still, her palm pressed against Sebastian’s cock as she smiled politely at Sophronia, who was studying the pair with a quizzical stare. Stella returned her eyes to the book in front of her, pretending to think critically about the prose on its pages.

“Perhaps this spell would conjure manacles to bind the person on the receiving end,” she mused loud enough for Sophronia to hear. But her plan backfired, as Sophronia stopped in her tracks to double back.

“Were you two just talking about the alternate form of Incarcerous?” she asked curiously. She stood about three feet from the table, seemingly oblivious to the debauchery occurring beneath it.

“Oh,” Stella blinked. “Um, sort of. But doesn’t Incarcerous conjure ropes?”

“It does.” Sophronia nodded in approval of Stella’s knowledge. “But a modified version of the spell can conjure manacles.”

“Manacles,” Stella repeated blankly.

“Yes. You know, like shackles used for fastening hands or ankles,” Sophronia offered.

“Right.” 

“I can’t imagine what one would use them for nowadays,” Sophronia continued. “But I suppose they have their uses.”

“Can’t imagine,” Sebastian chimed in tersely through gritted teeth. Stella squeezed her hand gently to send a message. Sebastian wheezed.

“I suppose manacles might be a bit sturdier than rope,” Sophronia rattled on. “Much more secure, at least. They’d certainly be more likely to keep people in their place.”

“How wonderful for them,” Stella said stupidly.

Sophronia, seemingly bored with the rather one-sided discussion, shrugged and spun on her heels to continue toward the spiral staircase. Stella and Sebastian sat in still silence as she ascended, waiting in searing agony until her footsteps faded.

“Fucking hell,” Sebastian whined, his shoulders slumping forward. “Can you be more careful?” 

Stella clearly found the encounter more amusing than unsettling. She shot Sebastian a sheepish smile, which instantly dissolved his aggravation.

“Sorry,” she offered. “My bad. Didn’t notice her coming.”

“Yeah well, keep it up and she won’t be the only one.”

Stella snorted, eliciting a shush from Sebastian, who was looking positively distressed. 

“We should probably move,” Stella noted, her eyes scanning the area for any more potential intruders. “Consider this the passage of your test and the start of your reward. I’ve got just the place.”

“We can’t risk the Restricted Section just yet,” Sebastian said. “It’s too early. Scribner’s still around.”

“Not the Restricted Section,” Stella said as she removed her hand from Sebastian’s trousers. He swallowed a whimper at the sudden absence of her touch. “I know a better place.”

She waited for Sebastian to adjust his clothing before she stood, the books forgotten on the tabletop. She made a sweeping glance around the room before brandishing her wand to apply a disillusionment charm. Sebastian blinked at her invisible form and followed suit. 

“Where are you? I can’t follow you if I can’t see you,” he hissed. The sudden feeling of Stella’s hand closing around his wrist was his answer. Stella guided him quietly across the library toward the fireplace.

“Glacius,” Stella breathed. The flames dissolved and she tugged Sebastian through the fireplace to the small, discreet room on the other side to shed her disillusionment spell. “See? Told you this is better.”

“How the hell did you even find this place?” Sebastian demanded as his own disillusionment charm fell. He gazed around the space, impressed by the tapestries on the walls and furniture in the corner.

“Shh!” Stella clapped a hand over his mouth and shot him a sharp look. “No one can see us but they can still hear us. Remember, we’re in the library so silencing charms won’t work.”

“Still one of Scribner’s most asinine ideas,” Sebastian muttered. 

Stella whispered “Incendio” to reignite the flames in the fireplace, closing them in and guarding them from any wandering passerby. When she turned to face Sebastian again, her eyes drifted downward. His trousers were still tented. Now completely alone, Stella’s mind began to run wild with ideas of all the things she wanted to do with him.

“Wait,” Sebastian whispered as Stella reached to unbutton his pants again. He stopped her with a gentle hand around her wrist. “When do I get to return the favor for you?”

Stella squeezed her thighs together. The thought of Sebastian touching her had been burning between her legs for quite some time.  “Now, if you want.”

Sebastian didn’t hesitate. His hands snapped to her waist and he pulled her closer. “Now’s as good a time as any,” he murmured. He nudged her gently toward the armchair in the corner, guiding her backward until the backs of her legs met the seat. Stella sat and Sebastian dropped to his knees in front of her. 

His hands skimmed beneath the hem of her skirt and over her porcelain thighs. The heat between them made his cock stir with desire. As Sebastian bunched her skirt up around her waist, Stella held her breath. His eyes settled on the damp spot at the center of her panties. He stared for a moment as he mustered the courage to touch her.

It was finally happening. He was going to discover the depths of Stella he’d assumed were only reserved for his dreams. But he could feel himself starting to freeze, gripped by his insecurities that he wouldn’t be able to impress her. 

As Stella caught his gaze, Sebastian could feel his intensity soften. She smiled at him, her warmth radiating through him with a sense of comfort only she could offer. Sebastian decided he wasn’t going to leave that library until he had Stella squirming from his touch.

He planted a trail of kisses up Stella’s right thigh. He could hear her inhale sharply, her hips lifting off the chair as the ache became unbearable within her core.

Sebastian’s hands drifted toward her hips, peeling the waistband of her panties downward until they pooled around her ankles. The sight of her soaked entrance ignited an invigorating surge of avidity in him. He’d fling himself into the flames of that fireplace before he allowed anyone to deny him a taste.

But first, he needed to touch her. He had to know how soft, how slick she felt. When his thumb made contact with her clit, Stella whimpered. He pressed against it, the pink flesh warm, wet and arousing. 

Sebastian swiped his thumb, drawing a soft moan of approval from Stella. He began dragging his thumb back and forth in a steady rhythm while he sank a slow finger inside her. The surge of moisture surrounding his finger made Sebastian curse under his breath. There was no way he’d last long enough to bend Stella over the desk like he wanted, but if there was one thing he would ensure, it was to make Stella moan his name by any means possible.

Sebastian’s index finger pulled upward against her front wall as his thumb continued its assault on her clit. The fireplace room soon filled with the lewd sound of slick flesh, but the library’s visitors remained none the wiser.

Stella’s knees parted more as Sebastian added a second finger inside her, dipping and dragging against her walls in desperate determination to incite her undoing.

“God, Sebastian,” she breathed, her fingers gripping the armrests as she clenched her cunt around his fingers to coax her release. Sebastian hastened his movements, his fingers dabbing at the sensitive and spongy flesh until Stella was practically riding his hand. 

She let out a quiet whine as her hips lifted off the chair, grinding her cunt around Sebastian’s fingers until she was hurtling toward her pinnacle. The pressure within her core mounted, her walls pulling greedily at Sebastian’s fingers until they began to quiver. 

Stella unleashed a breathy hiss as she climaxed, her thighs clamped around Sebastian’s fingers in an attempt to prolong her peak. Her walls pulsed as his fingers continued to beckon. When the quaking subsided, she was breathless and sweaty, albeit fully satisfied.

But Sebastian wasn’t. Now, it was time for a taste.

Stella flinched when Sebastian’s tongue made contact with her sensitive entrance, but her hands immediately pulled at his hair, demanding more from him. Sebastian lapped at her folds and hummed in arousal at her taste. The pressure in his pants was excruciating.

His tongue flattened against her clit, pressing and prodding until Stella’s legs were shaking.

“Sebastian,” she panted, unsure if she could withstand the sensitivity between her thighs. But the way her hips were jutting upward, pressing her entrance against his tongue, told him she wanted more.

He drove his tongue harder against her clit, forcing it in swift, short swipes until Stella’s feet were kicking from the pleasure swelling inside her nerve endings. 

Her back arched and her nails sank into the back of Sebastian’s neck as heat sprawled across her cunt, its ripples triggering a blissful shriek from her. Sebastian was too preoccupied to address the sinful sounds threatening to expose them. The tight, binding tension inside him cracked. He swore loudly as the sensation of Stella’s seeping arousal against his tongue sent him over the edge.

When both of their highs had subsided, they froze, fearful for the sound of approaching footsteps that never came. Sebastian remained rooted in place, shame spreading over his features. 

This had never happened to him before. Sure, he’d had those premature incidents, but those always occurred as a result of someone touching him. It had never happened at the mere sight of someone else’s orgasm.

Stella couldn’t help but smirk at the damp spot that had appeared on his pants. The sheer thought of her release triggering Sebastian’s own undoing was more empowering than any bit of ancient magic. Sure, it was counterproductive to the coaching she had promised, but considering he had satisfied her – twice – she decided there’d be plenty more opportunities for carnal education.

And selfishly, there was something quite satisfying about causing the temporary downfall of the great Sebastian Sallow. She’d never admit to it, though.

“Alright?” Stella asked tenderly.

“What do you think?” Sebastian muttered as he brandished his wand. “Scourgify.”

“I think,” Stella mused as she pulled her panties back up, “Maybe we started with the stakes too high.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe we should try a more private setting – someplace where you’ll actually relax,” Stella explained. “Maybe these… public places are causing you too much stress.”

“What are you, my therapist now?”

“Sex therapist,” Stella quipped with a smirk. Sebastian turned red again. “To be fair,” Stella continued in a serious tone, “This therapy session was quite a stress reliever for me, so at least one of us benefited from it.” She frowned slightly as she rose to her feet. “I really was going to reward you, though.”

“Trust me,” Sebastian mumbled. “You’ve done plenty.”

Stella grinned as she flicked her wand toward the fireplace to freeze the flames. “What are friends for?”

[satubby]

[Once upon a dream: When I loved you]

[Once upon a dream, where I saw you sleeping in my arms, I'm starting to forget what loneliness is, my beautiful human baby... Child of man, is this what you call love? If so, I'm afraid of losing you and this feeling. —Malleus Draconia ]

Disclamer: I was listening to my usual music and I don't know why but YouTube recommended old songs that I gave a like to, so among them was One Upon a Dream, which led me to rewatch the 2014 Live Action based on Maleficent. and from there to doing this, anyway I'm sorry if there are spelling mistakes and as such I'm sorry if the characters in Diasomnia look like those in Oc I haven't played in a long time and I left the fandom due to lack of time and interest.

[This writing will have 2 parts, the second I will be thinking about how to do it and if it will have Lana del Rey's song, this time I put Cinderella's song, I'm sorry lol!]

It was a rainy night, a woman escaped from her pursuers and was carrying her baby in her arms. "Catch that bitch! She deserves to be punished for witchcraft!" 

The strange and mysterious woman ran faster than before when she heard the scream of those guards. How did she end up like this? She wondered, not long ago she was a happy woman, the prince loved her as she loved him, yet his stepmother the dowager empress, discovered her elven blood, which was considered blasphemy. She never asked to be singled out, even her pregnancy was a constant danger. 

From where did it all go wrong? It wasn't her fault or her baby in arms that the human world hates magical beings given how greedy they are, especially noble ones like her stepmother who called her a bastard abomination. 

Arinet, bastard daughter of the duke belonging to the south and daughter of a winter elf, was now nothing more than a heretic cursed and hated for the blood that ran in her veins. And she blamed herself for being foolish to believe that the dowager empress and her own stepmother would not conspire to ruin her romance with the crown prince.

Crying she coos trying to calm you down you in her arms, her precious baby, in tears she gave you one last kiss as she continued to run away from the gunfire coming from the archers and the duke's mages, falling down a through a snowy well, she smiled for the last time and left you hidden from the hunters who followed her, if she died it would not be with you, so she said goodbye crying and with the little strength in her feet, she ran despite her ankle pierced by the tip of the arrow shot before. 

Malleus was walking through the dreary paths of his forest full of thorns and dry trees covered with seasonal snow, it was another dull morning and the old black dragon, prince of fairies and dragons, was bored. When was the last time this forest had anything interesting beyond its creatures fearing him? He doesn't remember, yet his thoughts are broken when he hears a cry, more precisely, the cry of a small human baby, an offspring of man. Then his bare feet on the cold snow traversed like a dance in the snow, walking towards you he approached your basket, taking you from it curiously but awkwardly, whoever put you there did not measure the coldness of his forest, he was unaffected given his nature and body, Malleus was already warm on his own. 

Emerald eyes narrow slightly at the sight of you. He carefully and lightly touches your cheek with one of his sharp nails, accidentally giving you a scratch so he uses his magic to heal it. He've never seen a baby up close before, the ones he saw were many, different and weirder, but you're even more so given that human nature of yours. And him have no idea how to handle the situation. He lifts you up to his eye level... you look pretty upset about being out in the cold and he doesn't blame you for it, even your tender cotton cheeks were ruddy. 

"I wonder... What exactly are you? The humans I know are bigger than you." Malleus mutters under his breath as he looks towards you still trying to be careful. He can sense that you have a special thing, in fact he smells traces of magic on you, but that confuses him even more as to why you, a frail, human little thing of all things... are in the woods in the middle of the cold. 

Curiosity filled his being as he looked at you, you a small being resting in his big arms, sleeping as if he were not the dominant creature in this territory. He was confused. You are a human baby so... small that you could easily be killed by accident, could this little thing be so cute? As far as he knew, humans are ungraceful or so he was told, plus the fact that he has killed some fools daring to enter his lands. He gently used a finger to touch your little nose. So cute you looked! He was also intrigued. Why did they leave you, so small and vulnerable in their forest? And alone, with no one to hold and care for you. You would become food for vultures or some other monster very quickly.

Malleus looked around looking for the human responsible who has left you abandoned, however instead his nose detected a smell of iron and acrid mixed with traces of magic.... It was blood of the child of man, so walking with you, even if clumsily, he cradles you in his arms they go towards the place where the trail was, strangely on the way you didn't cry, in fact, you even fell asleep comfortably.

Normally everyone is afraid of him, although it is normal given his status but that makes him socially awkward and lonely, maybe that's why he unconsciously clung to you. Malleus then arrives at the place where that iron smell came from, finding the corpse of your mother, a beautiful woman but... The old dragon prince notices that she was stabbed several times and until her last minutes of life she fought. In addition there were traces of magic thrown, from elves more specifically although it does not give him so much importance; he bends down and takes a sample of blood, licking it from the snowy ground— This woman had Mana, like you, so he assumed it was your mother as you had the same bracelet as the woman as well as the same smell of that magic.

Malleus stares at the deceased woman with? something like a sad look in his vibrant green eyes. You moan slightly with a groan as you stir, but go back to sleep a few minutes later. Malleus' long tail wags behind him as he thinks, frowning slightly. He looks down at you in his arms, then at the strange looking woman, she has white hair and apparently blue eyes, plus somewhat pointed ears. Malleus knelt down next to her lifeless corpse, carefully analyzing the bracelet, it had elvish letters which read: "The eternal and pure shall remain, the evil and impure must be purged" And honestly he didn't understand what the engraving meant, so he just leaves it there. 

"A human mother and daughter abandoned in the forest.... Who would do such a heartless thing...?" His gaze hardens as he look around the area, trying to find any clues left behind, but there was nothing. He looks closely at the wounds on the body and notices every feature your mother shared with you, from the lips to your beauty, he couldn't help but be distracted from his goal. 

"She died protecting you, little daughter of man.... Now I understand her determination and strength. If I'm honest, she was no ordinary human, too bad that led to her cruel fate." Malleus gently touches your cheek wiping the drool running from your lips, you were still asleep.

There was a mixture of curiosity and a strange sense of melancholy in the eyes of the ancient being. His eyes sparkled as he recognized the faint traces of mana lingering in the air, mixed with the unmistakable scent of mingled human and elven blood, definitely the children of man were hard for the old dragon to comprehend.

"What a waste. A mortal life, snuffed out by the callousness of other humans."

He spoke softly, almost wistfully, his voice tinged with a touch of what seemed like sadness, though he did not understand it. He stood thoughtfully for a moment, then, sighing, he closes his eyes to the woman's corpse and with his green magic breath, casts a living flame that burns away all traces of your dead mother.

"Rest in peace daughter of man and nature, I will take care of your human baby." 

Then he withdraws with you in his arms, he doesn't know much about humans, in fact he hasn't even seen one in 400 years, yet his curiosity and compassion made him act like that [perhaps the fact that you, a small and fragile thing, managed to move something in him beyond indifference and boredom] Then he saw you sleeping, he smiled softly.... What a curious little thing you were.

Upon arriving at his castle, he was greeted by Lilia, his guardian and close friend, as a father figure to Malleus even though he is already an adult in dragon terms.

 Lilia approached smiling and playful, although he noticed the bundle in Malleus' arms, as a father figure and royal advisor, he was curious.... How unusual for his little Malleus. "Oh, I see you brought something interesting from the forest, hehehe, tell me, did lonely little Malleus get bored with himself and decide to bring a little human?" Lilia teased, however Malleus just snorted smiling at his advisor and guardian, still holding you in his arms.

The prince of Briar Valley had chuckled quietly at Lilia's comment as he walked carefully towards him, his expression was calm and the tail dragon wagged back and forth behind Malleus himself, revealing his mood. Lilia always teased him when he was bored with his normal routine.

"Hm, this... 'little human' was abandoned in the forest by her mother, I thought she would surely become dinner for a wandering monster. I was also curious to know what human cubs are like, I see they are fragile to be greedy when they reach adulthood."

Malleus mutters under his breath, his eyes moving quickly to look at the baby again as he sleeps soundly in his arms.

Lilia was really surprised, normally his little Mall showed no interest in anything and was very socially awkward, but here he was hugging you, a small and fragile little thing. Lilia fell from the ceiling of the throne room, like an ingratiating acrobat he sat up and then sighed the veteran fairy, speaking earnestly before his king and pupil. 

"Your Majesty, you know that raising another living being, especially a human, who is different from us in terms of biology and growth, is not easy at all so tell me your highness? Do you really plan to raise that human baby, YOU who barely even know about them, beyond the times they have tried to invade our lands? I really sometimes don't know what you think Mall" Lilia sighed looking seriously at the dragon, Malleus lifted you up in the air looking at you still sleeping, you looked so... soft and tender. You would be a beautiful girl. Mall raised an eyebrow at Lilia for his comments. 

"I am perfectly aware of that, Lilia. A fairy and a human child... a combination that I know very well will take time to understand..... She is more resilient than you think. But I cannot leave this baby alone, she was abandoned by her own mother. Such a cruel fate for an offspring of man." 

His eyes shifted down to look at you as your small body shifted restlessly in his arms, sighing again, he cradles you in his arms once more. Malleus smiles softly.

Lilia sighed again, smiling and shrugging his shoulders surrendering to the blackhaired prince's stubbornness. He then walked over to you to look at you, you were certainly pretty, though as Malleus said, you had magic that was rare in humans, so Lilia asked his king and pupil, "Malleus, tell me something, do you know what it's like to raise a human? The consequences of it are something with variables and they age fast, besides you are sure to do it, from what you told me his mother had magic.... What did she look like, eyes and hair color?" 

The dragon did not understand at first as he was dense at times, but then he understood what she meant, Lilia was asking the race of that human, if she was one and she certainly was not— Your mother was a half elf, a very beautiful one with white hair and blue eyes, perhaps that is why she was killed and in a desperate attempt to protect you both, she ran to her lands seeking to return home. So far he was able to piece together conjectures, his density and disinterest sometimes blinded him.

Malleus thought for a moment, studying your face, trying to find any resemblance you might have to your mother beyond your features but you looked more human. The old dragon prince hummed thoughtfully before finally speaking.

"She... was a half elf if I am correct. Her hair was soft and like a white flake.... Plus her eyes were a beautiful light blue color. But she also had magic, as strong as she may have been, the poor woman was outnumbered and killed for unknown reasons."

He looks towards you who were still sleeping once more as he spoke, his eyes soft as he recalls the memory of the woman.

Lilia analyzes the situation and then asks one more question. "How do you plan to take care of her? Sooner or later she will have to return to her homeland, is that okay with you? You know that the magical races and humans have accomplished nothing together for centuries and their traces of disdain still remain? So, be honest, my dear prince, how long do you plan to keep her here? Surely sooner or later you will get bored."

Lilia saw Malleus' expression, there were many emotions clashing and the veteran fairy smiled, he just needed a little push and Lilia would be sure that his beloved ward would understand the implications of this... What would Malleus do, the ever shy dragon monarch and the one who longs to know human emotions and humans themselves?

Malleus looked conflicted as he listened to Lilia's question. He knew there was tension between the races and he also knew it would be difficult for you to return home after being raised here. But him simply could not allow you to suffer, you were innocent. His green eyes shifted from Lilia to you, a small frown on his face debating his decisions.

"I'm... not entirely sure. If he goes home, I'm worried he'll never fit in with his own people.... And if he stays here, will he have a happy life?"

Lilia smiled and honestly, it wasn't bad that his beloved monarch and prince for once longed to have something, whether he was aware of it or not, that's why Lilia asked such a question. He wanted to see how far his pupil's interest would go. Would it be temporary or could you, a fragile little thing, really awaken something more in the bored and shy prince of thorns? The mere thought excited the former Fae.

Malleus let out a soft sigh as he lifted you closer to his chest, your small face was warm and soft to the touch, that little body fit perfectly like a puzzle piece in his arms. He felt something in his heart that wasn't there before as he looked at you, a strange feeling of responsibility, of protection, maybe even a hint of affection? He wasn't sure, he had never been close to a baby before, let alone a human like you were. 

"I don't want her to suffer the same fate as her mother..."

Lilia clapped his hands and smiled, there was a long way to go. "Very well Your Highness, let's learn about humans and especially about their offspring, breeding and feeding!" 

That afternoon Malleus was educated on what things they should and should not eat, down to the basic necessities. Malleus wrote everything down in his mind and would then apply it even though he still had doubts.

Malleus listened attentively as Lilia explained things, taking detailed notes in his mind of everything he told him. He was a fast learner and quickly remembered every detail. As Lilia spoke, the dragon prince gently ran a finger across your forehead, gently stroking the baby skin with an expression of slight amazement on his face. In a little over a year you will be able to walk, talk and think. Malleus couldn't believe how wonderful humans could be .... Or was it that you were just a unique baby?

And over the next few days Malleus did all sorts of things that no one would think possible coming from his royal highness and mighty dragon, but there he was changing diapers. "No! Be careful, don't you see? You're irritating her skin, though it's rare that she doesn't cry from your rough touch, anyway, look at tying a diaper!" Lilia pushed Malleus aside and changed your clothes, playing a little with you, making you laugh, but this was a simple provocation on the fairy's part, he wanted to see how Malleus would react to this and indeed, the dragon became jealous of his former tutor. 

Lilia turned as he saw Malleus' green eyes glowing, after finishing your change of clothes, he handed you over to the dark prince. "I assure you that you will improve with time and practice as I won't always be here!" 

Malleus watched as Lilia deftly changed your diaper, baby laughter filled the room as the old fae made you laugh. The dragon was a little puzzled to see Lilia do something with such ease, he even felt a little jealous for some reason, as he wanted to make you laugh too, but you just looked at him curiously. He let out a small snort as Lilia handed you over, looking at you and studying your face again, he was still clumsy in grabbing you. 

"TSK! TSK! Look how stiff you are, you should carry her more gently" The fae scolded his monarch and prince who grumbled like a child pouting softly. 

"I'm a fast learner, Lilia. Don't underestimate me..."

Lilia scoffed with laughter, his little Malleus was really cute in his own way [Of course if Lilia wasn't aware of his immense influence and power] At the dragon prince's frown, Lilia playfully apologized and raised his hands in peace. 

"I know, my dear prince, but you must be careful! You wouldn't want the little one to cry, would you? Well, leaving that aside, come to think of it, you haven't given her a name have you, you, do you want to give her one?" Lilia noted this, for several weeks now you had been called 'Child of Man' or 'Little Human' and if the Fae were honest, they can't always call you that, names are important though given Malleus' own obliviousness, he hadn't even noticed until his advisor and former guardian pointed it out to him. 

The fae-dragon sighed, squeezing into his embrace and widening his eyes in confusion when Lilia pointed that out. You would definitely need to be given a name of your own, and they couldn't always call you the man's daughter... or little girl. 

"Hm, I guess you're right... what do humans normally call their children? I don't want to accidentally give it a name that has an unfavorable meaning..."

Malleus was somewhat (perhaps too much) unaware and sometimes his naivety with humans or other races that are not dragons or Faes, are unknown to him (either in customs, ways of acting or physiology). Leaving aside that sometimes he himself prince was carried away by rumors or experiences of his own. "I don't know, but what do you think.... (T/N), sounds nice, means timeless and infinite." Advised the old Fae as Malleus looked at you, you were playing with his fingers sticking them into your mouth.

Malleus hummed curiously as he listened to Lilia's suggestion, raising his hand to gently touch the top of your head, letting you cling to his fingers as he continued to think... the name '(T/N)', sounds good... he thought. Then he looked at you, watching you play innocently with his fingers as you looked at the old dragon.

"(T/N)... (T/N)... yeah, yeah, that sounds pretty good..... (T/N), then."

That day Malleus finally gave you a name, which would be one of the first signs that his curiosity would turn into love and love into obsession.

It had been 5 years, for Malleus this was nothing, as he sometimes has long periods of sleep (of course Lilia would wake him up to avoid sleeping more) Otherwise your growth would be lost and since Malleus loves you too much, the prince of Briar Valley did not want to miss anything about you, that included your growth stages.

"She do grow up fast, I can hardly remember what her was like yesterday!" Lilia complained dramatically but Malleus, who was drinking his tea, put down his cup and smiled softly as he watched you play in the garden. From large your beauty was remarkable, unbeknownst to you, you made more than just the barren thorn garden bloom in his heart. 

Malleus smiled slightly as he watched you play in the garden, admiring the way you made the normally withered and barren garden come alive with your presence. He had certainly grown fonder of you over the past few years, watching you grow and learn new things always made him smile. He looked at Lilia with a loving smile on his face.

"In fact, Lilia... it seems like only yesterday that I found her in the forest... now she's growing with each passing day."

Lilia put his hands under his chin, watching you play and make wreaths, it's been a while since Briar Valley had this warm and colorful atmosphere. "Don't you think humans are kind of interesting and chaotic? By the way, our little girl will soon be 6 years old, what do you plan to do? The past years you gave her many a gift, but oh my little Mall! Remember that unicorn you gave her didn't even last because your jealousy won the battle?, poor creature, they ran as soon as you came angry at them" He chuckled, in the end Malleus was attached to his dragon nature more than his Fae half, as much as this one wanted to deny it. 

The prince of Briar Valley let out a small snort at the memory. He had indeed become jealous of the unicorn, and it wasn't the only time either.... Every time you got a new toy or friend from the animal world, he got so possessive that he couldn't help it. He sighed. silently as he thought for a moment before responding....

"Hm, I'm actually very aware of my little human birthday... like you said though, this time I want to do something special for her, but I have no idea what to give her."

The old fae laughed and responded with another question to the dragon prince's confusion. "And what do you think you can give him this time? It can't be something living or something non-living, since you get jealous over anything, like the time you 'accidentally' burned one of her favorite toys with your fire because it took her attention away from you." Lilia fiddled with the fork and Malleus coughed his tea, avoiding looking at the fae who teased him about his extreme behaviors. 

Since he was just processing centuries of emotional numbness and you were the one who awakened those experiences and emotions in him, it was difficult for him not to go to such extremes. 

The black-haired man snorted at Lilia's words as he looked away. It was true that he was extremely possessive of you and would get jealous of anything that caught your attention.... But he couldn't help it. The dragon sighed softly and closed his eyes, crossing his arms as he thought for a moment about a solution to this.

"Hm... How about... a new toy, but only she can touch it? Sounds like a good solution, doesn't it?" Malleus asked thinking it would be ideal but Lilia made a face almost as if to say 'Are you seriously thinking about that?' and answers him with another question.

"How are you sure you're not going to burn it or destroy it? It's funny to a point that you destroy his stuff out of jealousy, but (T/N) he doesn't find it funny. I have an idea! How about you take it to the meadow mmm? Flowers are beautiful and safe, you can't get jealous if they are symbols of love. You know, you always keep her cooped up here, the royal garden is beautiful and the castle too, but remember, kids are curious and like to explore, you used to do that when you were a little lizard." 

Malleus sighed, shaking his head and ignoring the ramblings of Lilia who boasted about how beautiful and tender the dragon prince was before he grew up. On the other hand, you approached towards them smiling and showing a butterfly in your hand.

 "Tsunotarou, look how pretty them is; although their wing was broken, but I repaired it!" You laughed, peeking out from the table with your small stature. Malleus looked at you smiling anyway and lifting you in his hands, you were just as small as when you were a baby but you were growing faster than expected. Either that, or it was just his abnormal perception of time. 

The Fae-dragon looked at you, his bright emerald eyes shining with pride as you showed him the butterfly. He couldn't help but smile broadly when he saw your enthusiasm and laughter. He always loved the way you looked when you were happy.

"Hm, it looks quite beautiful. You did a good job with the wing, it broke before..." He says complimenting your little acts of love for others though a bit jealous of that butterfly. He then lifts you up in his arms, hugging you like he does all the time. The dragon loved you as much as you loved him.

Lilia laughs internally, his enigmatic gaze analyzing the situation, only in time would Malleus accept his possessive and territorial side, Lilia would be sure to witness it. "Aww~ our princess is a saintess!" Lilia teased in her cheesy tone, then pressed her lips together mockingly as if she wanted to give you a duck kiss, you on the other hand laughed avoiding his lips as he began to chase you away from Prince Briar's embrace. Malleus looked at you and smiled though the vein in his forehead and neck said something more than simple elegance, jealousy, raw as poisonous. 

́Maybe I should break his neck and cut his legs off? ́ thought the Fae Dragon, but he restrained himself from those possessive and murderous fantasies, on the other hand Lilia felt a look on the back of his neck imagining that his pupil and monarch It was almost drilling his head (figuratively), in a way it was funny. 

 "AH!!! yuck, I don't want your kisses uncle Lilia, they're slimy and I hate it when you pinch my cheeks!" You exclaim, snapping Malleus out of his thoughts as Lilia caught you and you tried to push him away while laughing.

"Come on, just one little kiss! And can you blame me? You're so cute" The old fae squeezed you in his arms. Malleus felt a small twinge of discomfort in his chest as he watched Lilia try to give you a kiss, the dragon fae clenched his jaw slightly and his fists clenched into fists of fury.

"Lilia... Fuck!"

He muttered under his breath, looking at the two of them and keeping his feelings under control. Malleus again refused, it wasn't right to be jealous, he wouldn't give his advisor the pleasure of seeing him in such a state let alone losing control. 

So he represses his emotions once again, causing Lilia to look at him out of the corner of her eye and sighs, releasing you from his arms. "How boring you are! Well, anyway, I have to go, I need to check the barrier on the moor, what was it...like 200 years ago? Yeah, I haven't seen the state of it in 200 years.... I'm off then, have fun my children, bye bye bye!" Lilia smiled saying goodbye as the door closed, you on the other hand walked up to Malleus taking his hand.

"Tsunotarou... Were you upset? You know Uncle Lilia is like that, by the way I made you this crown! I hope you like it" Malleus looked sideways at you and blushed, coughing in embarrassment at your tenderness, he bent down to your height so you could put it on his head. The rose wreath, although twisted by its awkward horns, was still beautiful to look at. However, it was cute to see how your delicate little hands went out of their way to give him such a gift.

Malleus looked at you, his mood changing almost immediately as he saw your expression. He couldn't help the laughter that came from his pale but beautiful lips as he watched you try to put the crown on his head, but fail miserably as his horns got in the way of said task. He chuckled softly as he gently took the crown and put it on perfectly as he bent down and ruffled your hair.

"Thank you, he's lovely, as always... I won't get mad at Lilia, he's like that with everyone, but promise me you won't leave room for his jokes ok?"

"Yep! I won't let uncle bully me with his jokes anymore" You laughed once more, clapping your hands and with innocent grace, you hugged his neck giving him a kiss on his pale cheeks making Malleus blush once more that you would almost swear steam was coming out of his ears. So much so that his emotions affected the atmosphere of the whole valley, you saw how the gardens grew more roses and out of nowhere butterflies or birds appeared. 

Because of your innocence, you were frightened to see him so red, thinking you had done something wrong. "Tsunotarou is red because of me, now he has a fever!" You began to cry with worry in your girlish eyes, as you noticed earlier how hot he had become because of your actions, but you didn't know what triggered that.

Malleus looked surprised, his eyes widened at your innocent and adorable way of looking at the situation. He let out a small scoff and chuckled under his breath, he always forgot how innocently cute you were and how your naive personality embarrassed him most of the time.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong, it's okay...I'm fine, you're just too cute and beautiful my precious princess" He said softly as he stroked your back, trying to calm your crying as he blushed a little from embarrassment.

"Eh? ... Then why are you red? If you don't have a fever, maybe it's another illness? I don't want you to be sick, Tsunotarou!" You were still sad and worried but you weren't crying so much anymore, much to her relief. 

Malleus sighed, lifting you up in his arms and sitting you on his lap, then wiped away the excess tears by kissing your chubby little girl cheeks pulling them as a game and a little reprimand.

"That hurts, a lot Tsunotarou."

He smiled at your innocence and how you so quickly assumed he was sick because of his red face, he was a little amused that you couldn't see the underlying reason he was embarrassed rather than sick. A small chuckle escaped his pale lips when you complained at how hard he pulled on your cheeks, then he sat you on his lap as he stroked your head talking softly. 

"No, no, I'm not sick... it's much simpler than that, little girl."

The prince/monarch smiled at you once again saying how tender and beautiful you were in his eyes and that's why he was embarrassed when you did such tender acts.

"Am I pretty? But Sebek says I smell like a dirty human, but I don't know what that is. He always criticizes me, the other time he scolded me for accidentally knocking down one of your paintings in the office, he also says humans are ugly, does that mean I'm ugly and stinky?" your tender and gullible eyes made Malleus swallow bile, mostly because of what you were telling him, sometimes your tenderness and naivety reminded him of himself. 'Sebelk, that idiot' he thought to himself, cursing his loyal friend and self-proclaimed knight, though to Malleus Sebek was an annoying zealot.

The prince of Briar Valley shook his head and sighed softly. Yes, Sebek tended to say things he shouldn't say in front of you. And yes, he was also an absolute fanatic who was too loyal to him, sometimes not even liking his attitude because of how loud and restless he got. 

"No, you're not ugly, you're beautiful... in fact, you're the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen in my life... and ignore what Sebek says, because he's a brat who talks too much..."

And speaking of the devil, he will come! Sebek knocked on the door, although it didn't do much good as he ended up whipping it anyway, mostly to warn of his presence.

"MALLEUS-SAMA!!!" Both you and the aforementioned covered your ears at Sebek's cries and his following praise, the Prince of Thorns had to silence him before he gave any more speech about how he is the most perfect among dragons that ever lived.

"Ahem! As I was saying I brought breakfast because honestly Lilia-sama is horrible at cooking, and I also wanted to tell you that Silver will be away for a week and is still dealing with the demons in the troll pit." After that introduction, Sebek served everything with grace and- Perhaps too much perfection; even Malleus was sweating with embarrassment from his eyes with imaginary stars staring at him, sometimes Sebek was too overwhelming.

Sighing as he looked at Sebek and rolling his eyes at the green haired dragon's strong presence, the half-dragon fae let out a small snort as he listened to the strong praise and watched how hard Sebek tried to please him as he fed him breakfast. As he watched Sebek kneel on the ground after finishing with the table and the plates with food, Mall let out a small scoff.

"Very well, thank you, Sebek... you may go, I'm sure Silver will need help handling the demons in the pit..." He said, trying to get rid of him so that he would stop being too overwhelming; and be able to continue chatting with you without the stalker-like vigilance of the green-haired one. 

"Your highness... You're telling me you don't want me here? WHAT AN HONOR TO HAVE YOUR DISGUSTING TOWARDS ME, MALLEUS-SAMA!! YOU CAN EVEN TREAD ON ME IF YOU WANT, I WOULD LOVE TO BE YOUR RUG FOR WHATEVER—" The Green-haired's cries of adoration ceased as Malleus swung his black claw and pulled him out of the garden and into the castle hallway. Still, the young dragon's cries could be heard. You laughed so hard at Sebek's own witticisms that the black-haired fae's bad mood was relieved.

"Sebek is funny, even though he's always nagging me..." You pout as Malleus smiles at you burying his face in your baby neck.

He sighs again as he hears Sebek's ramblings and praise in the background, letting out a small scoff. He chuckled under his breath when he heard you laugh, nodded and agreed with you.

"I know, he's a jerk... but at least he's a loyal jerk, I guess..." Whispered the fae as he wrapped his arms around you once more, burying his head in your small shoulder, enjoying your scent that reminded him of fresh roses.

Days later Malleus took you flying through the forest as it was like your birthday present, as you laughed in his arms, the first spring breeze hit your delicate face, Malleus spread his draconic wings taking you even higher in the air to enjoy the view without actually stepping on solid ground. He won't admit it but he doesn't want something else to catch your attention and make you want to go out more often. Your hands caress a cloud and the black-haired man sees you laugh which makes him happy. 

 "This is the best birthday ever!!!! Thank you Tsunotarou" Your eyes looked at him and at that moment it was just the two of you, something in Malleus started to resonate it was like a: 'Badump! Badump!' ...It was the beating of his heart that echoed in his ears, for the first time he knew what that was, the feeling longed for millennia and jealous of those who could feel it and experience it but now he finally felt it. You were the reason? He wondered, but at that moment he didn't care, he just closed his eyes letting himself go while holding you in his arms.

Malleus watched you with a fond smile on his face as he saw the way your eyes sparkled when the breeze hit your face, happily observing how you were thrilled by small things like clouds. He chuckled softly as he watched you laugh at the simple joy of being in heaven....

"Of course, of course... Anything for my little daughter of man..."

His eyes closed as he embraced you, feeling the gentle beat of his heart flutter in his chest, his heart beating for the first time in centuries like butterflies in full spring. 

This moment was precious and although Malleus is not normally greedy, with you it is another case, he wants to have you and make you happy just like you do with your simplicity and innocence, his beautiful sleeping beauty.... The tulip in his garden of thorns.

"Tsunotarou! Look there— Is that me!!!? Woah, what a beautiful garden" Malleus smiled again seeing you excited, this is the special gift for you, in this forest there is a beautiful portrait made with so many flowers of so many colors and froms the air you can see it. So he wanted you to see how much he would give and do for you, for your smile and the feelings you make him feel, for what you are and represent in his life. 

He tilted his head to look at the portrait of the flowering garden in question, a small smile on his face as he watched the colors come together and form a beautiful image from above. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he listened to you speak, his ears twitching at the way you seemed to be getting more and more excited.

"It's beautiful... Do you want me to take you and take a closer look at it, little one?" he said, flying a little lower now so he could take you there and let you see the flowers up close.

You both descended and immediately ran through the fields of flowers, like a princess in his eyes, the prince and wizard Fae-Dragon, moved his hands making your dress turn white as snow and floral decorations grew from it, then he made you float. and dance in the air as you laughed.

"LOUDER!!! YAY! WHAT FUN" The prince of Briar Valley continued to wiggle his fingers and watched you float away, then he pulled you close to his face and their noses touched, the magic was removed and with a kiss on your forehead, you fell asleep. Malleus had long since ceased to feel alone, much less hated and feared, only loved by the simplicity of a human, his human.

At the end of your birthday, the prince of thorns tucked you into your bed and before you went to sleep, you gave a thank you. "Thank you for everything Tsunotarou.... Good night." 

Your smile faded as you slept, Malleus Sighed, leaving the room and walking to his own, the cold corridors smelled of wet earth and nature, his footsteps echoed against the aged stone until he reached the black door. The creaking reminded him of the years that passed and he never aged, his physical age stopped at his seventeen years. Upon entering, Malleus removed his clothes and then sank his body into the soft feather bed, his green eyes wandering to a shelf; There were all those gifts that to others are cheap trinkets made by the innocent hand of a girl like you, but to the Dragon Fae it was more than that, it felt special to receive them from the one he loved.

Malleus sat on the end of his bed for a second, his thoughts wandering as he looked at the items on the shelf. He couldn't help but feel warmth and happiness in his chest as he looked at the little trinkets... it brought a small smile to his face as he thought about how much happiness you brought him....

He lay fully back on the bed, resting his head on the pillows and pulling the covers over his shoulders, closing his eyes and letting the dreams take him soon....

And who knew that that nap of his would make the future of both of them turbulent, because Malleus fell into another one of his hibernations, besides, without anyone to wake him up with anti-sleep magic, he wouldn't be there for you. Lilia, Silver and Sebek would take a maximum of 4 months to return, the vast territory of the royal family of dragons and fairies had to be constantly supervised by many nobles and among them were the three close to Malleus. 

After waking up, you went to look for him and excited, you opened his door running towards him and climbed into his soft, padded bed but Malleus was still asleep, even so you decided to move and pull his cheeks, talk to him or yell at him. but nothing happens, he still does not respond.

"Tsunotarou? Come on it's already daytime! it's not funny.... Ugh! Don't scare me, come on, wake up already! You're going to make me mad... Humm!" You started to hit him on the cheeks, You even lifted his eyelids but as soon as you removed your fingers they closed again and still it didn't work and you couldn't use your magic since it only worked on plants and to heal wounds. "I have another idea! I'll look for uncle Lilia, he might wake you up" Jumping out of bed you leave the royal room and head to your own, preparing your backpack to go in search of the old fae.

It was your first time out of the castle, you were scared and the monsters terrify you, but as Uncle Lilia once said, "Never forget to be protected, if you wear a dragon scale, no monster or weirdo will attack you given our essence! So don't forget to take one, even Mall would be happy to give it to you". And that's what you did, as Malleus wouldn't wake up even if you removed a black scale from his tail, so you would use it as a toll and scare the monsters away.

A while after walking, you ended up lost. Since you have never left the castle unless Malleus or another fae (except Silver, from what Sebek said, he is a human like you.) guides you, you would get lost on your own and that happened. Now you didn't know where to go.

"Phew, wasn't this the way? Maybe I should go back, but... Why are there three paths? I don't know anymore! I'm lost!". You cried in frustration and continue walking, if Malleus would complain about anything, it's your pride and stubbornness.

It wasn't long after you left the castle that you still couldn't find the right path. Unfortunately, without high-ranking magic, you were doomed from the start to get lost if this happened, especially since Malleus would normally be guiding you.

The dark wood were mostly silent, a few crickets chirping could be heard. Even your footsteps echoed and you didn't even want to think about other unknown sounds because it made you nervous and afraid. But the sounds of the crickets soon faded away, leaving you in silence as the sound of rustling leaves added to the sound of your beautiful magical sandals made of flowers and wood. Suddenly, a soft glow caught your attention.

You had reached the end of the forest and the sun was about to set, you were apparently in a part where the barrier of magical flowers and thorns was weaker, you also had the scale of Malleus in your possession, so when you followed the path fleeing from the darkness; the thorns and bushes parted, allowing you to pass as you sensed the magic in that scale inside your bag. The fresh air greeted you, you smiled believing that you would return to the castle but it was not so, as you barely took a few steps, a carriage passed by you and the person stopped to look at you, it was a humble peasant. 

"Umm hey little girl, what are you doing on this side of the road? You don't know it, but there are ugly monsters roaming around."

"I don't know sir, but who are you and what are your names? I'm (T/N) and I'm looking for my uncle Lilia, I must wake up Tsunotarou or else he will sleep too much, so he won't be able to play with me" Facing your naivety, the farmer smiles and invites you to come up. 

Since Lilia never explained to you about the dangers outside (thinking that because of Malleus' obsession with you, it would be impossible to escape) you continued talking to these strangers.

The farmer, as well as the person sitting in front with the horses, were both older adults, who were quite surprised to see a young girl like you wandering through the dark and dangerous forest with no parents or other people in sight, just you and the forest behind you.

They both see that you were hungry and tired, the farmer felt bad for you, nodding and smiling as they brought out some stale bread and water to let you eat something. The person in the wagon with the horses watched you intently. In the end you end up going out with them, not knowing that your innocence would bring chaos and that the carelessness of some would make many pay, even death will be a mercy rather than delayed suffering. 

And so 4 months had passed, in that time the 2 faes and Silver returned from their duties, when they entered they were surprised to see the palace so... silent.

 "Lilia-sama, I can't find the rambunctious human, I already searched every floor for her but there's no trace" Sebek said in alarm when even Lilia couldn't find you either. 

Silver then cried out in surprise and somewhat worried, Malleus was in a state of hibernation earlier than expected, as normally dragons sleep 100 years but since he is half fairy, this time is maximum 50 years and it also depends on Malleus himself.

"No way, damn it, what are we going to do? Hurry Silver, go and get some chains, I need to wake him up but we mustn't just blurt out the news, Sebek gather everyone you can and look for her!" Lilia ordered as she bit his fingers cursing his luck. Once Silver finished binding Malleus, the old Fae put spells on the chains to at least hold some of the strength the Fae dragon prince possesses. In the end Malleus awoke with magic and the anti-sleep potion.

Malleus, dazed, opened his eyes after being suddenly awakened from his sleep, his senses immediately sought your presence again. The first thing he felt were the chains and spells on him, which irritated him, and as soon as he saw Lilia, his senses went on guard.

"Lilia...! What are all those chains and where did she go (Y/N)" His voice was soft but demanding, his cold, sharp eyes looked at the old Fae in front of him. 

"First calm down Malleus, you are not in your five senses, I didn't think it would come to this but there was a mistake and we miscalculated your hibernation, so we left and 4 months passed. And sorry to tell you but (Y/N) is not here. I think she went out to look for me, from what the few creatures who saw her told me, I only know for sure that she left the magical forest and Briar Valley, heading for the human world, in that case we can't track her and the only one who can is Silver, so I sent him to look for her.. " 

Malleus listened to him in silence, his calm and gentle expression slowly twisting into something much darker as he took in what Lilia was saying in his mind.

"You mean to tell me that you all left the castle without waking me up or leaving someone to take care of her?" The Raven-haired fae's voice was cold, his usually calm tone now filled with silent anger about to explode as he stared at Lilia for a second.

"Didn't any of you think that leaving a young woman home alone would end up with something like this.."

Lilia sighed just as frustrated, his cheerful and youthful demeanor left behind by his deadly and bitter self. "Look Malleus, I couldn't calculate the variables, you were supposed to hibernate until February but it was earlier than planned, I think the anti-sleep potion affects something in your hibernation states." 

Lilia rubbed his nose septum in frustration. Malleus might have looked calm but his vacant stare and his vibrant emerald eyes with shrunken slits, said otherwise, he was overthinking everything. 

"Can't you calculate the variables? I'm sure you have more than experience in dealing with issues revolving around me. You should know that this was a situation that had the possibility of happening, Lilia!"

Malleus' tone darkened with anger, he was beginning to blame Lilia even though he knew it wasn't entirely her fault, knowing that it is also his for constantly manipulating his sleep states making himself more unpredictable when it came to hibernating. 

"She's going to be lost in a world that is cruel and uncaring... Who knows what has already happened in the last 4 months?"

Unfortunately for everyone and especially for Sebek, who interrupted them, receiving almost lethal green fire from Malleus narrowly burning the green-haired Fae but resulting in the burned wall and a prince who was still raging almost eager to release his dragon form, but Sebek caught their attention.

"Can you listen to me for a moment? As I said, I went to investigate and proudly I can say that this is the only thing he left..... I'm sorry Malleus-sama and Lilia-sama" Sebek bowed showing pieces of the torn dress the prince of Briar Valley had given you, and that infuriated Malleus more and from that anger he went to raw but horrible sadness, a silent one because the words got stuck in his throat and tears fell from his beautiful emeralds for eyes.

Malleus stared at the torn pieces of your dress, his eyes widening as the reality of the situation slowly hit him. A small trembling of his hand became noticeable, as his fists clenched tightly to where it hurt, his nails slowly digging into his own skin and drawing blood as he reared up savagely towards the Raven-haired fae taking the piece of cloth from him. 

"No... She is still out there, we must look for her, I must— I MUST LOOK FOR HER!! Ah..., Sorry for that, please leave a time me alone."

His voice came out as a halting whisper, as he slowly closed his eyes... taking in what had just happened; the reality of what he had lost, the reality that he had lost you... of all things, losing you to him and his draconic heart was very devastating.

Lilia said nothing at the scene of his beloved ward and prince/monarch, so both Sebek and he let his process it all and so for a few days Malleus locked himself in his room without coming out, falling back into an abyss of loneliness and silent rage.

In the days that followed your disappearance, Malleus mourned your absence, spending his days trapped in his room, talking to no one if he could help it and only looking at the pieces of your dress... the only thing he had left of you or your scent. 

The fae dragon spent most of his time pacing his room or sobbing on his bed sheets, crying his eyes out and hating himself for how he had handled things when he could have avoided them.

Mmmmmm

Mmmmmm

So this was love

Mmmmmm

So this was love

So this was what made life divine

I was glowing, mmmmmm

And now I know

And now I know

The key to all heaven was mine

My heart had wings, mmmmmm

And I could fly

I touched every star in the sky, but no more

So this was my miracle?

That I've been dreaming, that I've lost

Mmmmmm

Mmmmmm

So this was love, but I won't feel anything, anymore

[butterflydm]

Rewatching 3x01 & 3x08 together (for fic purposes)

Spoilers for the whole season and some general spoilers for the books through, idk, I'll say Winter's Heart.

It really does feel like 3x01 set up some strong conflicts that were resolved in 3x08 -- Egwene's misgivings about Rand being about the madness as opposed to only about ~cheating~ comes across much more successfully if you only watch the first and last episodes of the season, lol.

I do personally feel like dragging Randgwene out for so long muddled the narrative that they were going for with them (from my own feelings and a sampling of what other people said -- some people picked up on them being mis-aligned but a lot of people basically attributed it all to Rand being A Bad Cheater Boyfriend, with Egwene essentially only being a passive victim instead of an active part of the relationship), because the themes that I've seen Rafe, Josha, and Maddy talk about in interviews (about Randgwene being about nostalgia and trying to keep in place a relationship that really doesn't exist anymore) feels like it comes across a lot more strongly without any of the intervening episodes between 3x01 and 3x08.

imo, 3x01 is also really the only episode where we get to see that Egwene is still ambitious, I think, and even then, it's only during her 3x01 Arches viewing (where mad!Rand tells her that she got 'what she always wanted' by becoming the Amyrlin, and so was potentially dismissed by viewers simply because it came out of Rand's mouth). And she never talks about it to anyone! It's all couched in her protecting Rand or being devoted to the Light (or protecting herself, once she realizes that there's an actual living person messing with her dreams). She never admits to any ambition in herself in s3, and she's never called out on it by anyone that the narrative tells us should be trusted on the matter (aka someone other than Rand).

What we needed was something like the scene with Elayne in early s2, where Elayne calls Egwene out on her jealousy of Nynaeve and it's obvious in Egwene's reaction that she hit on a sore spot and that Elayne is reading her accurately. Though, minor sidebar, now I kinda want to go back and see if Egwene ever admits to any faults, because it could be that that is supposed to be one of Egwene's flaws in the show -- we know from what was said in 1x07 that the pattern of the Randgwene pre-canon relationship was that if they had a fight, Rand (and only Rand) would apologize and that would 'fix' the fight, so Egwene never admitting to any faults or mistakes seems true for pre-canon Egwene; and when Randgwene 'resolve' their 1x07 fight, iirc Egwene never admits to there being any reason that Rand might doubt her devotion to Mat, a character who she has NEVER had a one-on-one conversation with on-screen and who she, in fact, did openly doubt when it came to his moral character. But it could be that I'm forgetting some lines that show!Egwene has had that would contradict this theory?

(I just went back and watched that Egwene & Elayne scene and Egwene never actually admits that Elayne was right and that she was feeling jealous; she straight-up denies it, in fact, just like she constantly denies in s3 that she's worried Rand might go mad -- it's just obvious in her reactions that what Elayne is saying is the truth. Plus it being about a friendship and not about a romance also helps un-cloud the issue, imo. As we also see in how Nynaeve gets more sympathy for wanting to 'save' Liandrin from the Shadow than Rand gets for wanting to 'save' Lanfear. So, yeah, that makes me lean towards 'this is an intentional flaw in Egwene's character' but I do feel like we needed something more in s3 to make that clear to viewers)

That is actually something that Mat could have potentially done if he'd gone into the Waste storyline the way that he does in the books -- been a contrast against/sounding board for Egwene. There's a bit of distance there, because he's one of Rand's best friends, but also a level of trust, because he's from the Two Rivers. I really do feel like we needed more of Egwene actually expressing her own feelings over the course of s3, because after 3x01, basically everything is other people telling Egwene how she feels while she either loudly denies it or looks off into the distance and says nothing. But according to the interviews, everyone else was right about Egwene's feelings and she was just in denial the whole time, but we never get anything validating that on-screen, imo. She just stays silent. So I really hope that we do get some conversations in s4 where Egwene expresses her own feelings instead of other people doing it for her.

Rewatching these two episodes so closely together also (as @markantonys recently talked about) really shows the contrast between the mad!Rand or the euphoric!Rand that we see in 3x01 vs the determined Rand that we see in 3x08, but we can also see that Egwene seems to feel like these are the same Rand, which means that she's not seeing him clearly. All that intervening space and the way that the Randfear relationship intersects with the relationship throughline makes it easier to go along with Egwene's viewpoint in 3x08, imo, and it's not as clear as it could be that she's not seeing the actual Rand who is standing in front of her but is instead seeing him through the lens of Arches!Rand who is screaming at her to bow to him. Everyone else is witnessing a prophecy coming to life, while Egwene is re-living one of her worst fears that she was forced to confront.

I feel like a conversation, or maybe more just showing us that Egwene is being affected by her visions, would have been good. Because it feels like Nynaeve's conversation about how deeply the Arches visions affects a person could be used to show that it's supposed to affecting Egwene too, even if she never talks about it but a) Elayne's visions aren't even shown on-screen and don't appear to have affected her at all and b) Nynaeve's talk sets up how her final vision in the Arches powers her own arc this season, so it's easy to mentally go "well, that's true for Nynaeve but it doesn't appear to be true for Elayne or Egwene".

So yeah, my general feeling is still that we either should have had Randgwene have their final relationship talk in 3x01 and had the rest of the season them resolving into a complex exes situation, or cut out some of the Liandrin backstory from 3x03 in order to put in some kind of Egwene scene where we can see how clearly she's seeing mad!Rand in the not-mad!Rand who is standing in front of her. Because it really feels like the way the narrative was played out disguises any issues that Egwene was bringing to the table in s3, and makes it look like the dissolution of their relationship was entirely Rand's fault. Especially since when Egwene talks about their 'relationship' to Elayne & Nynaeve, she says, "it's just as it was back home, like nothing's changed" while Rand says to Mat & Perrin, "we haven't really talked about [whether or not we're back in a relationship]" and we never get any kind of open and honest read from Egwene's perspective the entire season.

But, again, just watching 3x01 vs 3x08 does make the change in the relationship clear (even if Egwene still won't admit to Aviendha in 3x08 that they are no longer in a relationship! which is so wild to me!), and shows that Rand and Egwene have strongly conflicting points of view on how Rand needs to approach being the Dragon (especially now that Rand has fully embraced Moiraine's perspective, which contrasts sharply against Egwene's) and that this is, at this point in time, an irreconcilable difference in them that means that their relationship will never again be what it once was.

Egwene: "We could have kept you (Nynaeve) safe." vs Rand: "Safe's not possible anymore."

Egwene is trying to keep Rand 'safe' (from others? from himself?) all season but safety is not possible. But that might be what lies inside Egwene's refusal to commit to a break-up, even in 3x08? Because she believes that Rand 'needs' her in order to have the strength to pull himself back from the madness? idk she never talks about it! if that's the case, then maybe Rand not listening to her at the end of 3x08 means that she'll finally admit that they're not in a relationship anymore. We can only hope!

I do think that in the context of Egwene believing that she might need to 'stop' Rand, then her reaction to Aviendha asking if Rand ~deserves~ her strength is more interesting, because Rand's 'worthiness' is beside the point, if it's not about romance but instead potentially needing her strength to stop a 'mad!Rand' situation.

Rand absolutely is trying for a soft break-up in 3x01, though, with his assumption that Egwene is going to stay at the White Tower with Nynaeve and Mat, and she is not having any of it. And they're kinda stuck there until 3x06 though, again, it's wild that even in 3x08, Egwene will not verbally commit to no longer being in a relationship with Rand! (but Rand does, and it feels like the scene in 3x06 was clear enough to make the viewers feels that they're 'broken up enough' too, even if Egwene still won't say the words).

But by those same standards (was the 3x01 conflict resolved in 3x08?) -- it feels like Mat didn't go much of anywhere this season. He had some fan favorite scenes but the conflict that appears to be set up in his opening scenes -- not being able to help his friends because he's caught up in his own struggles -- remains the situation that he's in at the end of the season. Instead of being able to help Elayne or Nynaeve against the Black Ajah, he's caught up in his own struggles and taken out of the picture. He's struggling with memories in 3x01 and is now struggling with memories in the opposite direction in 3x08 (lost memories instead of new memories). He moved laterally but didn't actually resolve anything.

...that does line up with how Nynaeve's struggle with her block was essentially 'on hold' during s2 and then tee'd up to get knocked out in s3, so it could be that Mat was put on hold so that he can get the resolution to his current character struggle in s4 (fingers crossed for renewal, as always).

Taking Mat out of the Waste kinda feels like being put 'on hold' for Mat's own storyline but it has a MASSIVE impact on Rand's storyline.

Because everyone else who was already inclined to treat Rand like a person and also not be personally hurt by his relationship with Lanfear were already naturally leaving his plotline (Perrin, Elayne, and Nynaeve) so deliberately removing Mat -- who is the person who has been set up by the show to be the MOST sympathetic to Rand's concerns, as someone who a) has committed a similar 'crime' of abandonment that Rand did (1x06 Waygate abandonment vs 1x08 pretending to be dead), b) worried for weeks in s1 that he himself was the Dragon and was going mad, c) has already shown himself willing to support and uplift Rand (amateur therapy session in s2), d) has no reason to feel personally betrayed by Rand having feelings for Lanfear -- feeds into them wanting to play into Rand being more vulnerable to Lanfear when he's isolated.

And then that implies that bringing (some of) those people back into Rand's storyline in s4 would naturally/narratively give us a chance to get the other side of the story. Lanfear, the person who was trying to convince Rand that no one (but her) could genuinely care about him if they knew who he truly was, is now out of his life in a romantic way, and we are now free to bring back in the people who prove that she's wrong, because part of the point of s3 was to show us a Rand that would make the audience genuinely worry that he might pick Lanfear over the Light (but ultimately, I feel like the show would want to make it clear that Lanfear isn't actually correct and people are capable of loving and caring for all of who Rand is).

So it might have all been intentionally done to put us into Egwene's perspective to worry over Rand's mental state only to then bring in some characters in s4 who will be able to show us that part of that reaction was Egwene writing her own fears and worries onto Rand even though those fears aren't actually present (yet) in Rand's behavior.

It felt so significant to me that there was no Rand & Lanfear scene in the premiere and that really did play out throughout the season - Lanfear's primary dynamic this season, the one that mattered the most, was the one with Moiraine. Rand mentions Selene to Perrin and Mat -- that's the woman that he misses, the woman that he wanted. A woman who never existed. Moiraine is the one dealing with the woman who actually exists -- Lanfear. Just as it's Moiraine and Lan who deal with Lanfear in the season premiere, they are the ones who deal with her in the finale, while Rand has moved on from his ex and is dealing with things that matter more to him than holding on to a dead relationship with a cruel and manipulative woman.

The Randfear relationship is really well done on its own, but yeah I do feel like pulling the Randgwene relationship out so long kinda dilutes the power of what we see with Randfear, where Lanfear spends so long manipulating Rand and trying to convince him that no one but her can truly love him, only for Rand to go through the same realization that Lews Therin went through with her -- where she did something that accidentally revealed her cruelty and malice to him, and it make him realize the truth about her as a person. Because Egwene is mixed up in it, it gets dismissed as ~cheating~ instead of the abuse and manipulation of Rand that it is (otoh, it's entirely possible that even if Egwene weren't mixed up in it, it would still get dismissed the same way that the Mat-Tylin abusive dynamic is dismissed by some book!fans -- because some people genuinely believe that it's impossible for women to abuse men).

Randfear only have four (and a half, if you count Charn and Mierin) scenes together this season but each scene moves the story of their relationship's downfall forward in a powerful way -- we have the baseline of 3x02, which establishes that Lanfear is trying to tempt Rand and telling him that no one but her is capable of loving him because he's secretly just as awful as she is (peak abusive manipulation); we have 3x03, where Lanfear does her best to play on Rand's heartstrings and make him want to save her; we have 3x04, where Rand is given his hope that maybe Lanfear CAN be saved (and it's key that his hope comes from something that Lanfear herself had no way to manipulate); we have 3x05, where he momentarily gives in to temptation because he thinks there's a chance that 'Selene' really was a real version of Lanfear; and then we have 3x08, where Rand has learned who Lanfear really is and takes control of their relationship in order to finally end it. That is very economical and efficient storytelling! And the body language is all the Randfear scenes is just... excellently done. You can see the whole story just in the way they react to each other, without needing the words.

I will say, it feels very much like a warning sign that Moiraine and Lanfear agree that Rand's friends are 'holding him back' from 'the man that he must become' and then Rand comes around to agreeing with Moiraine (and, by extension, Lanfear) in the finale, and no longer objects to their methods (of hurting his friends to try to drive them away). Lanfear is maybe not the person that we should be agreeing with when it comes to how Rand's mental state should be handled.

That being said, the two parallel scenes of Rand and Moiraine's conversations in 3x01 vs 3x08 are very good -- we get them completely unable to connect and agree in 3x01, and when Moiraine crouches down to Rand's level, it feels like she's treating him like a child. While the 3x08 scene is both of them being willing to meet in the middle -- Moiraine admits she was wrong to try to force Rand to go to Tear, while otoh Rand has come fully to terms with the idea of embracing Moiraine's (unhealthy) policy of cutting himself off from his loved ones in order to embrace being the Dragon. And when Rand gets on her level in that second scene, it marks them seeing each other with vulnerability and mutual honesty, and they stand up together to fight their separate (yet linked) battles.

It cracks me up that Elayne gets kicked out of the ~serious conversation~ about the danger that Rand poses to the people he loves that Siuan wants to have with Egwene and Nynaeve... only to go talk to Rand and actually be the one person who has the greatest impact on him this entire season, by setting in motion his choice to go to the Aiel Waste and becoming the Car'a'carn to earn the Aiel as an army. Her advice here saves Rand's life (per what the Wise Ones told Moiraine in 3x03) and is key to him fulfilling the prophecies and the only people who know about it are her and Rand.

But that really does point out that Elayne gets left out of all of the "oh no, Rand is super-dangerous and is going to go mad" conversations that Egwene gets hammered with this season, so she's not bringing that with her everywhere she goes the way that Egwene is. But, yeah, this is another scene where Egwene has this instant denial and push-back against the idea that she might need to 'stop' Rand but apparently (from what was said in interviews and actually also the synopsis for the season that was put out) -- worrying about needing to 'stop' Rand was part of Egwene's struggle this season! I know I've mentioned it before but I really really feel like it needed some more attention and I feel like we could have sacrificed some of Liandrin's backstory in order to put a spotlight on this struggle of Egwene's.

Again, if you only watch 3x01 and 3x08 back to back, then I think that theme does come through successfully, but when you have all those intervening episodes, I feel like it gets kinda lost, especially since it's something that Egwene is never willing to admit out loud.

"Rand isn't used to having power. Command doesn't sit easily on his shoulders. But he will learn his duties and responsibilities to your people." Much like Elayne sets Rand's journey into motion, we see here that she has faith in his ability to become the Aiel's Car'a'carn. When Egwene is with Rand, she is always trying to see the boy that she once knew (the way that Lanfear is always trying to see Lews Therin? the way that Rand is trying to see Selene?), but Elayne sees the person that Rand actually is -- his challenges and his struggles included.

So I'm really hoping that we're going to see that when Elayne comes back into s4 and hopefully gets back into Rand's storyline relatively quickly -- Egwene will now be looking at Rand through the lens of mad!Rand from the Arches since she's decided he's not the boy that she used to know, while Elayne looks at him and sees the person that's really there.

Plus we see that Elayne is fully willing to wield dangerous power for the sake of the Light when she grabs the balefire rod from Jeaine and murders her with it without even the slightest bit of hesitation. So that's another place where it seems like she can understand the position that Rand is in.

There is also a very subtle and in-the-background Randlayne hug in the 3x01 goodbye scene. They definitely kept the Randlayne vibes low-key but present -- she's incredibly important to his story this season but not in a way that trips 'cheating' bells the way that his interactions with Lanfear did. The subtitles also say that Rand is telling Elayne "Thank you" here! It is VERY quiet though, because that's right when the music is kicking up. But I can hear it when I turn the sound up. So yeah, Elayne goes from saying goodbye to Aviendha right to saying goodbye to Rand.

(and the ta'veren boys goodbye hug is also very nice, even if I remain sad that pretty much all Cauthor got stripped out of one of the biggest Cauthor books in the series)

Aviendha's "My duty is to you, as yours is to your people." really does reinforce the point that Elayne made to Rand about how even if Aviendha is grumpy over Rand being the Car'a'carn, she does still stick by him. And that plays out in 3x08 as well, even though I do wish they'd actually gotten their own scene together, instead of Aviendha's single one-on-one conversation being with Egwene.

The White Tower scenes in 3x01 vs 3x08 go full-circle so hard and so painfully. That what Siuan tries to do to Liandrin here -- denounce her as a Darkfriend -- comes around on her in the end. Tried, stilled, interrogated, and executed. That was the plan for Liandrin, before her Black Ajah allies in the Hall came to rescue her. And, of course, Elaida made sure to send away Siuan's allies before moving forward with her coup.

So out of the Black Ajah that are revealed here, Liandrin is the only survivor that we see on-screen at the end of the season. We also get a foretaste of vengeful Leane here, who will see likely see in full force in s4, with that need for revenge turned against Elaida. Leane doesn't interact with Egwene in this episode, but she is there to witness Egwene repudiating Siuan's authority and leaving immediately after her Accepted Test (and so is Alviarin, who becomes Leane's counterpart at the end of the season).

We have the contrast of helpless!Nynaeve in 3x01 (because she's blocked) and then she gets unblocked in 3x08... but too late to do anything except save her own life. That's something that I've been turning over in my head. Nynaeve doesn't get to 'protect the kids'. She doesn't make it in time when Egwene needs to be saved in s2 and Egwene has to rescue herself; she isn't the one to heal Rand when he gets his dagger injury; she's not the one to save Mat's life in 3x08 even though she promises to help him in 3x01.

Maybe something about Nynaeve learning how to put on her own life vest before helping with anyone else's? I really am curious if Nynaeve is going to be able to help any of the kids in s4, now that her block is broken and she's no longer afraid of/hating her own power anymore.

[cressidagrey]

Recipe for Love - Peach Cobbler

Summary:

Azriel finds a bakery and creates his very own reward system.

Warnings:

Kinda Rhys Bashing, but when don't I do that?

A/N:

thanks to @k-godling for listening to me rambling on about this and finding the perfect name for that Bakery! This will eventually be a series consisting out of One-Shots, so if you have an idea, shoot it my way! (Also, if anybody actually tries out that recipe, let me know lol)

Peach Cobbler Filling 2 ½ cups sliced canned peaches ¾ cup canned peach syrup ¼ cup brown sugar (packed) 1 ½ tablespoons cornstarch Few grains salt Dough 1 tablespoon granulated sugar ⅛ teaspoon baking soda 1 cup prepared biscuit mix (or your own biscuit recipe) ⅓ cup cultured sour cream 2 to 3 tablespoons milk (if needed)  Sweet or sour cream for topping

Place peaches in bottom of casserole. Mix peach syrup, brown sugar, cornstarch and salt. Pour over peaches. Set casserole in hot oven, while mixing dough. Stir sugar and soda into biscuit mix. Add cream and milk to make soft dough; mix lightly. Place by spoonfuls on top of hot peaches. Bake 30 to 35 minutes until well browned. Serve warm with sweet or sour cream. 

The Spymaster of the Night Court was contemplating killing his High Lord. 

Or maybe it was Azriel contemplating killing his brother. 

Maybe it was both. 

Whatever it was, Azriel was definitely mentally planning Rhys’ tragic demise as he trudged his way through Velaris. 

It wasn’t the first time he had done it. Wouldn’t be the last time either. 

He would never actually go through with it. 

(Probably.)

Regardless of how annoying Rhys was… regardless of how the words of last Winter Solstice were still echoing in his head. 

Alone the thought of a pleasure hall made him want to throw up these days, after all.  

He didn’t. Azriel knew better than that. 

It didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. 

It was his own fault for allowing himself to fall in love with a mated female. It was his own fault for thinking that maybe he had a chance…for thinking that maybe…

He had never had a chance. Pretending otherwise wasn’t going to help him. 

Rhys had made himself clear months ago and then had done the same again today…today when Lucien had asked Elain to dinner and she had agreed. 

Of course, she had agreed. Azriel had taken himself out of the running months ago. 

Azriel had followed his High Lord’s order to the letter. 

Azriel had done everything that was asked of him, even when it had broken his fucking heart and left him…desolate. 

And as a thank you, he got Rhys’ crooning in his mind that See, Az? They worked things out. 

They had. Good for them. 

The food had tasted like ash in his mouth and he hadn’t managed to get down more than half a plate. Not more before he had excused himself, citing unrest in Spring…and had walked out of the River House without even properly seeing where he was going. 

Away. Far, far away. 

He had half a mind to let the shadows take him away. Maybe somewhere deep in the Illyrian Steppes, where there was no being anywhere near him. Where he could throw his magic at a mountain and destroy some rocks with the fury that embered deep within him…

You should get a treat! The shadows told him brightly at that moment, nearly making him stumble. 

What?

Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised him. 

The more forlorn he got, the more depressed…the more optimistic they became. The more they tried to get him to smile…the more they fed him with petty gossip included in their intelligence gathering… the more they did everything to make his life easier for him. 

They were trying. 

It was sweet.

I am not a dog, he grumbled back to them. He wasn’t. 

And besides…he didn’t deserve a treat anyway. For what? Doing his job? Surviving another week? Not killing Rhys during lunch that day? Not wringing Lucien’s neck for politely asking Elain to dinner? Not scratching out somebody’s eyes like a rabid…

Of course not, Master, the shadows agreed easily. You should still get a treat. Something nice, just for yourself. 

Something nice, just for yourself, he turned these words around in his head. 

He did have a lack of that in his life, but then he always had. He had never really had started to amass anything…collect anything…no little things to litter his rooms with…not even as much as a hobby, unless one called insomnia and stabbing the practice puppets in the House of Wind until they were reduced to rubble that. 

All of it was just…his job was his life and that was it. 

And it wasn’t like he deserved it anyway. 

Just like he didn’t deserve a mate, didn’t deserve Mor and didn’t deserve Elain…He didn’t deserve a fucking treat either. 

He clearly didn’t deserve anything that made his life easier. 

There’s this little bakery, the shadows proposed quietly. You could buy yourself a slice of cake! 

A slice of cake. A slice of cake before flying back to the House of Wind, barricading himself into his room and writing another report. 

A slice of cake before he would let the loneliness take over completely…before he would never even allow himself to look at any female ever again because he was not going to go through this pain again. 

Being a little bit overdramatic, Master? the shadows asked him with a sigh and he wanted to growl. 

No. No, actually, not really. 

Why shouldn’t he be overdramatic? 

At least in his own damn mind. It wasn’t like he was throwing that into anybody’s faces. Even when he had wanted to. He had wanted to scratch that smug little smile off Rhys’ face with his bare hand and…

You don’t, Master, the shadows sighed. You didn’t even want us to steal his favourite jacket. 

They had offered. They had offered to make Rhys’ life filled with annoying inconveniences. Azriel had said no after that Winter Solstice. Now he was reconsidering it. 

The problem was just that it wasn’t going to make him happy. 

The shades would be petty and that would be it, but he wouldn’t…it wouldn’t make him feel better. 

He would still feel unfairly treated…he would still feel always pushed to the edges of his family…the one whose emotions didn’t really matter…who’s happiness wasn’t a priority, not even a footnote, set firmly behind whatever was good for the court and that was that. 

He was the one send to do the dirty work, the one expected to deal with it, because clearly it didn’t bother him… which was a lie. Of course, it bothered him. But his skillset made him the obvious choice so…

Mor and whatever these 5 centuries had been…Mor who could have outright turned him down when he had yearned for her and had never bothered to do so. He was still waiting for her to do it. Even now. 

His hands clenched slowly, the scars feeling tighter. Autumn was coming…as soon as the leaves began to turn, the joints started to hurt him. 

They have double chocolate chip cookies, the shadows whispered like it was a state secret. He couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. 

Sugar was his one weakness. 

The shadows knew that. 

It would just be a few copper coins…maybe a silver one or two…his steps faltered.

One slice of cake? As a treat? Just a few minutes sat in one quiet corner of a bakery…alone. With just his shadows…that did sound…nice. 

As a treat for not killing Rhys, Azriel proposed. and for not doing anything, saying anything…for keeping his temper in check. 

He could work with that, right? 

It could be his very own reward system. One slice of cake for…for surviving another week. For not faltering. For not scratching anybody’s eyes out…for not loosing his temper and go into the illyrian Steppes and destroy a small mountain in a fit of rage. 

Huh. 

Maybe the shadows were onto something.

One shadows wrapped himself around his wrist and started tugging him along and Azriel followed. 

Down the bustling streets of Velaris, towards the outskirts of the Rainbow. 

There, Beehive Bakery took up the ground floor of a brownstone Townhouse…a yellow and white striped awning stretching over the length of it. It’s name was screamed from it’s sign above the door that was pushed open, quiet but lively conversation reaching his ears from within. There were three tables outside, filled with people, but as he walked into the shop, careful to tuck his wings into his body…there were still one or two tables left. Even one right there in one corner. 

It smelled heavenly in there…like vanilla and almond, wafting out of the oven thet must be in the backroom…a young High Fae was manning the till. She looked young. More a teen than anything, dark curly hair covering her head…Her limbs hadn’t yet lost all their coltish length. 

“Welcome to Beehive Bakery, what can I get you?” she asked him with more enthusiasm than  he had seen in a long, long time. 

For a moment, he came up short, eyes roving over the baked goods laid out behind the glass of the counter…and then finally snagging on the first cake in front of him…Peach Cobbler. It looked…great with a golden brown crust…there was one slice missing so he could see the perfect orange of carefully sliced peaches peeking out. 

“One Slice of Peach Cobbler, please,” he requested. 

“Coming right up,” she chirped brightly. “Some tea as well?” 

Azriel answered in the affirmative, quietly charmed by her sheer enthusiasm…A few moments later he exchanged a couple of silver coins for a plate holding a slice of peach cobbler, topped with a dollop of cream and a delicate teacup. 

He took both to the table he had sussed from the beginning. Clearly the worst place in the whole shop…but for his usage, it was perfect.

 The darkest corner, right in the back…covered in shadows…nobody would be able to peek at anything if he did choose to read some reports…and nobody could surprise him from the back. 

It was perfect. 

Perfect was also the only word he could imagine for that Peach Cobbler. Quite frankly it was best thing he had ever eaten. Tart but Sweet…and the topping crumbling and the peaches ooey gooey…it was so good it was startling. He could just get a teeny tiny bit of cinnamon in there…

Alone that Peach Cobbler had been worth every single coin. 

By the first forkful, he felt likes osmehting in his chest was easing. By the time he was left with only a third of it he was already dreading to finish the whole piece, because then it would be gone. 

And that just didn’t seem fair. 

He watched the people entering and then leaving again, some just coming for a single loaf of bread, some of them buying pastries or slices of cake to go…some sat down with a friend and conversed with them…The Beehive Bakery seemd to be a quietly buzzing hub of Velaris. 

The young girl behind the counter was busy fulfilling orders and smiling at every customer, some that called her by her name, Juniper. 

Halfway through the afternoon, a new female joined her behind the yonder. This one older, much tinier, her body filled out with lush curves…Blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders, held back by a handkerchief. 

“Done for the day?” she asked Juniper, and Azriel watched silently how she nearly absentmindedly fluttered around the space, replacing empty displays and generally making sure everything was in order. 

“I can stay if you need me, B,” Juniper said quickly but the blonde female waved her off, handing her a envelope from one of the pockets in her frilly pink apron. It had strawberries all over it, Azriel realised with some amusement. Juniper took the envelope, opened it to sneak a peek and then stared at her again. 

“That’s too much,” Juniper complained, clearly longsufferingly but B just laughed. 

“No, it isn’t. It’s just enough,” she promised and Juniper hugged her in thanks. 

“Thanks, B,” Juniper mumbled, before hanging up her apron and disappearing. Leaving B or whatever her name actually was, clearly in charge. 

In the meantime, Azriel had the shadows find him some of the reports he needed to read that were enchanted for secret keeping, only been able to be read by his eyes and his eyes only. 

B knew seemingly everybody that came into the bakery, knew the names of every customer, knew their order…and so Azriel settled in at that table and spend the rest of the afternoon, reading his report and draining his tea until only dark dregs remained. 

He listened to the cadence of her voice as she talked and relaxed in that little corner, where nobody paid him any mind. Nobody flinched away from him. 

Nobody cared. 

It wouldn’t stay his only visit. It would become a weekly tradition, a habit that he shouldn’t have but still had. 

Because he wanted to go to the Beehive Bakery. 

It was the one thing he wanted. 

What Azriel wanted had never mattered. 

Not really. 

Unless it was right here. Unless it was him buying himself Peach Cobbler and cream.

Unless it was him sitting in the darkest corner and just watching. 

[literaryavenger]

I love you and I hate it

Summary: Bucky's your best friend, but you're in love with him. Now that he has a girlfriend, will you be able to get a handle on your feelings?

Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: Bucky being a bit of an ass. Reader being dramatic. Angst. Language maybe. Minimal use of Y/N. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 2.7K

A/N: this is a two part because otherwise it was too long. Hope you like it! also, it's 4:30am and I can't help myself lol.

Masterlist

Loving your best friend is not something anyone ever plans.

Getting those kinds of feelings for the person closest to you changes the way you look at them, the way you interact and essentially your relationship with them, making everything unnecessarily complicated.

At least that’s how you see it.

You definitely didn't think something like that could ever happen to you. But to be fair, you also never thought Bucky Barnes would ever become your best friend at the compound.

When you first arrived as the newest avengers recruit the brooding supersoldier was not your biggest fan. Things didn’t start on the best note for you two.

- 2 years ago -

Steve was showing you around the compound and introducing you to people and team members as you met them. You arrived at the common room where Bucky and Sam were watching Tv.

"Hey guys. This is Y/N, the new recruit I told you about," Steve introduced you "this is Sam." he said to you as Sam got up from the couch putting out his hand.

"Nice to meet you." he said.

"You too," you said, shaking his hand "it’s so exciting to be here and meet all of you. You are all such remarkable people."

"Oh, complimenting me? I like you already." Sam said chuckling.

"Of course you do." Steve said, rolling his eyes with a smile, then turned to you "and this is Bucky" he said, pointing at the brunette still sitting on the couch.

"Hi Bucky, it’s nice to meet you too." you said, getting closer to him and holding out your hand for him to shake. Bucky, however, just looked at you for a moment before standing up, turning away from you and walking out of the room without saying a word.

"Uh... did I do something wrong?" you asked, very much confused, still looking at the door Bucky just ran out of.

"No, it’s always him." said Sam.

"Sam, don’t." Steve told him, then turned to you again "don’t mind Bucky, he’s not good with new people. It’s nothing personal, he’ll get used to it, don’t worry."

"Right. He’ll get used to me." you said as he gave you an apologetic look "yeah… anyway, let’s finish the tour."

"Sure, bye Sam. See you around, I guess." you told Sam with a smile.

"Yeah, see you guys at dinner." and with that you left to finish the tour of the compound that ultimately ended with your assigned room.

"So this is your room, Natasha has the room on the right and Sam has the one on the left." he pointed at them as he talked and then pointed at the room across from yours "that's Bucky, to his right is Peter and mine is to his left."

"A lot of neighbors, got it."  you said chuckling with Steve.

"Yeah. So I’ll let you get settled and I’ll see you at dinner with the team." he said.

"Yeah, see you later." 

If you were honest with yourself, you were a little disappointed at how meeting Bucky went, you were really looking forward to meeting the super soldier.

While all the other girls were busy crushin on Captain America, you always felt more attracted to Sergeant Barnes.

Something about him just made you curious, and, after all the Winter Soldier stuff came to light, you were one of the few people that saw right away that Bucky was a victim.

You never did understand how people could read all the details of what happened to him and still call him a monster, like it was his fault that he was captured, tortured and made to do things no decent human being would ever do.

In fact, you got in trouble more than one time for fighting when things escalated while you were defending the super soldier from agents that didn’t see it like you.

It’s really a shame that a lot of agents of Shield itself thought so ill of the Sergeant. Maybe that’s why he didn’t like you, maybe he thought you were one of them.

You had to make sure he knew you weren’t.

Having made up your mind, you decided there was no better time like the present. You crossed the hall and knocked on his door, and after a few moments he opened.

"I know, Steve, don-" he interrupted himself the second he laid eyes on you.

"Sorry, not Steve. Clearly. I’m sorry to bother you, Sergeant Barnes, I just wanted to let you know that I don’t have anything against you. I know some agents feel like you should be held accountable for the things you were forced to do, and they’re not really afraid to get vocal about it, but I’m not one of them. I don’t think any of it was your fault. It may not matter much to you, after all you don’t seem to like me very much, but it’s important to me that you know this. You’re kind of my  hero." you finished, a little embarrassed at admitting this to his face. He looked at you for a few moments and, just as you thought he was about to slam the door in your face, he grinned.

"I’m your hero, doll?" he asked, leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed in a way that made his biceps look huge and a smirk on his face.

After that you and Bucky became quick friends, spending more and more time together. Missions, training, down time, you were practically attached at the hip.

You were always careful not to let any feelings grow other than friendship and, mostly, it was easy.

There were some times where you somehow ended up flirting, but they were fleeting moments that passed as quickly as they came, and you decided, for your own peace of mind, to not overthink them and let it go every time.

Now, back to the present, the reason why you’re lost in your thoughts and feelings for Bucky.

You’re watching from a distance as Bucky smiles and laughs, happier than you’ve ever seen him surrounded by his friends, more relaxed than he’s ever been during a party.

You smile at his happiness, glad that he’s finally comfortable around pretty much everybody, but your face falls pretty fast as you see him wrap his right arm around her.

You’ve known Sharon for a while now, she was one of the agents in the list for the spot in the Avengers before you got it. You always felt like she resented you for it, like she should’ve been the one to get it because she was already close with some of the members of the team.

She was never openly hostile with you, but you did notice her hanging around Bucky more and more in the last few months. You didn’t think anything of it, but you were proved wrong just half an hour ago when Bucky started to introduce her to the avengers she didn’t already know as his girlfriend.

As soon as that word came out of his mouth, so casually you’d think he'd been saying it his whole life,  you felt like you were gonna throw up.

It took all your skills to keep your face as neutral as possible, you felt like Sharon’s eyes were on you the whole time, trying to see every micro expression she could find to know what you were thinking.

But you were probably just imagining that, right?

You excused yourself as soon as you could and went straight to the bar to get the strongest drink Nat could make, which she handed to you with a knowing look while glancing behind you.

You barely had time to think before you felt his hand on your shoulder, feeling his body next to you but you didn't turn to look at him, taking a sip of your drink instead.

"Hey, doll, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Sharon before, it’s still pretty new."

You tried to keep your voice as cheery as you normally would around him. "Why would you? It’s your relationship, why are you apologizing?"

He gave you a weird look you'd never seen before, before saying "Because we’re best friends? We usually tell each other everything… right?" he sounded a bit uncertain.

"Yeah, right, duh." you said, trying to give a genuine laugh "Well, it’s alright anyway, now I know! Stop worrying, just go be with her."

He looked around your face for a few more moments, like he was looking for something, before he said "ok, then." and left.

You managed to keep the smile on your face until you were sure he was gone, but dropped it as soon as you looked back ahead of you.

Taking another sip of your drink and making a face at how much alcohol was actually in it, you looked at Nat and, nodding, you left before she could comment on the scene you’re sure she just watched in its entirety. 

So here you are now, in a corner watching people enjoy themselves, just like you used to do at parties with Bucky by your side, except you’re alone.

You try to look on the bright side, you really are, but you can find none.

You can't talk about it with anyone either since nobody knows about your feelings for the super soldier, except for Natasha who always seems to know everything, but  you aren't too close with her and neither of you ever actually spoke about it out loud.

Not that you would've, you aren't the most outgoing person, usually keeping your feelings and most of your thoughts to yourself, with the exception of Bucky.

With him talking seems like the easiest thing in the world, it doesn't matter about what. He knows almost everything that he could possibly know about you, the only thing that you could never bring yourself to talk about is your feelings for him.

You feel a hand in the low of your back and, just as you're bringing your fist up, you realize it's just Steve. "Easy there, tiger." he chuckled, lowering your arm for you. "You seem a little on edge. Everything okay?"

"Everything’s just fine, Captain. You can salute your way to someone else now." His laugh makes you smile against your will.

"Okay, rookie, you don’t wanna talk about it." you roll your eyes at the old nickname, but he keep going, "you know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a party without your moping buddy."

You glance at Bucky, who's busy laughing it up with Clint and Laura, his arm still around Sharon. Your eyes find Steve’s again, and you simply shrug. "We’re allowed to do our own thing, aren’t we?"

"Of course you are... I was just wondering why you weren’t with him, that’s all."

You avoid his eyes while you quietly say, "he already has someone at his side tonight, doesn’t need me there."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" comes a voice from behind you.

Damn. The one moment you weren’t looking at him and he sneaks up on you.

You turn around and see him standing there, arms crossed in front of his chest, Sharon at his side with a smug look on her face that you convince yourself you’re just imagining.

"What’s what supposed to mean?"  You try playing dumb, but you know Bucky can see right through that.

He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly but when you just shrug and give him your best confused look, he sighs and looks at Sharon. "Hey babe, can you get me a scotch from the bar? I’ll meet you there."

You don't know if you're more hurt at him calling her that or relieved at the fact that he didn’t use the nickname that was usually reserved for you.

She just nods and, without taking her eyes off of you, gives him a kiss on the lips. Okay, you definitely didn’t imagine that. As soon as she’s far enough, Bucky turns back to you.

"What’s wrong with you tonight?" He asks sharply.

"Excuse me? Who said there was something wrong with me?" You say defensively.

"Oh come on doll, you’ve been weird ever since Sharon got here. What’s the matter, do you not like her or something?"

You don't know what to say. You certainly aren't about to tell your best friend that the reason you don’t like his new girlfriend is because you have feelings for him. That’s not gonna end well for anybody. So you decide to just keep on denying.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bucky, so why don’t you just go after you little girlfriend and enjoy your night with her."

"That, right there." he points at your face in a very accusatory manner. "What the fuck was that?"

"What was what?" you’re starting to raise your voice a little and swatting at his hand, getting annoyed at him for not letting this go.

"You’re being a jerk about Sharon, what is your problem with her?"

"I don’t have a problem with her!"

"Yes, you do!"

"Why are you trying to make this into a problem?!"

"Because I know you!" At this point you're both yelling.

"Well, clearly, you don’t know me as well as you think you do!" Lie.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?! Just tell me what the hell is your problem!"

"Why do you care so much? Even if I had a problem, it’s my business, it’s not like I’m your girlfriend!" Bucky just looks at you with a face you’d never seen on him before and you can't decipher.

The whole room seems to go quiet as you two just look at each other for a few moments, then Bucky finally speaks.

"You’re right." he says, in a much quieter voice than a second before "you’re not my girlfriend. I just thought you were my friend. Guess I was wrong. I’ll go after my little girlfriend now."

You can't find it in you to say anything and, when you just look at him, he scoffs and turns around to make his way to the bar.

Slowly it feels like everyone else starts to go back to what they were doing before your yelling match stopped the party in its tracks, but you feel like you can't breath, let alone move, as you watch the spot where Bucky was standing just moments ago, tears starting to form in your eyes.

You can’t believe that just happened. Did Bucky really just say you aren’t his friend?

A hand on your shoulder brings you back to reality and you hear Steve saying "are you okay?" from next to you.

In all honesty, you forgot he was even there.

All that comes out of you is a broken sob before you turn around and make a run for the elevator, as fast as you can run in heels and a floor-length cocktail dress.

Steve runs after you, but there are too many people around that slow him down, and by the time he gets to the elevator the doors had just closed.

He waits to see where you would stop, assuming your shared floor but you never know. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and he pushes the button of the elevator, glad that he waited a second more.

When he gets to the roof it's so dark outside that it takes a second before he find you, and once he does he slowly gets close to you.

What he was not expecting was to find you sitting on the ground, hugging your knees and crying.

Steve sits down next to you and puts his arm around your shoulders wordlessly while you cry.

After you calmed down a bit he says "He’s really worried about you, Y/N. If there’s something going on, you should just tell him. He’ll understand…"

You think about it for a few minutes while you find a way to tell Steve what's going on.

"How do you tell someone that the reason you’re sad is because you love them?" you say with tears starting to form again in your eyes.

Steve can only stare at you, at a loss for words. 

You hear something behind you and when you turn you see Bucky’s back, walking towards the elevator.

It doesn’t matter how long he was there for, he obviously heard you.

You look back at Steve that has an apologetic look on his face, confirming your fear. Damn super soldier hearing.

Well, it looks like your friendship with Bucky is officially dead.

Part 2

[supergraphicgirl81]

With A Little Help From My Friends ⋆⁺₊❅.

Lando Norris ₊ ⊹ [◉¯] . ݁˖

Formula 1 college hockey team social media AU! Instagram Edition

The tight-knit college hockey team, the Silver Blades, run by team captain Max Verstappen, isn't just about scoring goals—it's a chosen family. On and off the ice, the team has each other's backs, whether that's through college assignments, throwing awesome parties, or winning the championship together. Follow these overworked, tired, college students as they post through their day-to-day life.

With A Little Help From My Friends Masterlist ⊹ [◉¯] Lando Norris Masterlist ⊹ [◉¯]

LandoNorris4

liked by LewHamilton, ItsYourname, and others

LandoNorris4 fav fliks of da year

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LewHamilton Wow Lando these are really awesome, keep up the good work man (liked by LandoNorris4)

LandoNorris4 thanks mate 😊

RandomFan GOD nothing hotter than a crazy energetic athletic arts boy, what can't he do (liked by LandoNorris4)

CharLeclerc You'd be surprised.

MaxVerstappen Wow mate (liked by LandoNorris4)

MaxVerstappen I forget that you can do things besides destroy

LandoNorris4 (choosing to ignore the second part) thanks max! (liked by MaxVerstappen)

ItsYourname LANDHINOOOOOOOOO WAHHHHHHH (liked by LandoNorris4)

ItsYourname these are absolutely AMAZING what camera? what film? what lens?

LandoNorris4 omg coffee tomorrow??? i'll explain it all (liked by ItsYourname)

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LandoNorris4 i literally swear i'm going to quit

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OscarJP You say that every practice

LandoNorris4 yea but this time i mean it!!

OscarJP That too (liked by Albono)

RandomFan If Lando left the team i don't think i'd even watch anymore, he makes it.

DanielRicciardo Please dont feed his ego like this I'm begging you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (liked by LandoNorris4)

MaxVerstappen Lando

LandoNorris4 max

MaxVerstappen It's not my fault that you had to run more practices today

LandoNorris4 UHHHH IT KIND OF IS

MaxVerstappen YOU LITERALLY WERE LATE??????

AlexandraSaint Just remember if you quit hockey you'll become a nobody, so like you kind of have to stay cause being somebody is all you have (liked by MaxVerstappen, CharLeclerc, and DanielRicciardo)

LandoNorris4 😐

LandoNorris4 thanks alex (liked by AlexandraSaint)

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LandoNorris4 if that world still rotating, BETTER KEEP DAT ASS SHAKING

tagged CarlosSainz, ChargingSarge, ItsYourname, OscarJP, and AlexandraSaint

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LilyMuniHe OH MY GOD THIS MY SONG THIS MY SONG (liked by LandoNorris4)

ItsYourname DJ play club cant handle me right now 😜 (liked by LandoNorris4)

CarlosSainz You continue to amaze me everyday

LandoNorris4 carlos please, literally got a semi rn 😩😩😩😩

Franco43Colapinto 😧 (liked by LandoNorris4)

RandomClassmate this is so random but do you have an extra scantron for the test tomorrow lol

LandoNorris4 😦😦TEST?!?!?!?????????

OscarJP Lando I need you to take the photo down of us like immediately

LandoNorris4 no can do aussieroo (liked by ItsYourname)

ItsYourname LANDO DONT TAKE IT DOWN OSCARS BEING DRAMATIC

LandoNorris4 psh when is he not (liked by ItsYourname)

OscarJP ??????

AlexandraSaint while yall are still in brat summer, I'm in menace lando fall

LandoNorris4 just lando would have worked (liked by AlexandraSaint)

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LandoNorris4 ski trip was successful if i do say so myself

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MaxVerstappen Delete this. (liked by LandoNorris4)

MaxVerstappen Lando i'm not even playing delete this before i make you do laps

LandoNorris4 YOU CAN'T ITS WINTER BREAK

Franco43Colapinto ski trip season sounds to me more like perfect excuse to nail lando in the face with a snowball season

LandoNorris4 they really hurt franco (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

GeorgeRus I for one am loving this post. Who is that dashing, great-bodied, tall man behind you Lando?

MaxVerstappen You cant even see your body, in fact you can't see anything

GeorgeRus It's the aura Max, something you elderly wouldn't understand.

MaxVerstappen We're the same age???

LilyMuniHe OH MY GODDDDDD WHO IS THAT CUTIE PIE IN THE FIRST SLIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LandoNorris4 woah, lily, not cool, alex is one of my best friends (liked by Albono)

LilyMuniHe the dog lando, not you.

LandoNorris4 still, you're a taken woman be less desperate

LilyMuniHe 😐 (liked by LandoNorris4)

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[consistencynevermether]

Hiii, I just want to say that the vere fics (winter nights and spring flowers) you did is sooooooo good! Like, I've reread it multiple times because I just love it lol.

Sooo, my request is:

Cupping and pinching vere's cheeks!! Idk why I but I think his cheeks would be sooo soft like a marshmallow. You can do this however you want! (I just have this urge to pinch his cheeks whenever I see him)

I feel like I took this ask WAY to seriously but I hope this is close to what you were looking for! :)

content: Vere x gn reader, sfw, cannon typical swearing and violence, 1k words

Objectively speaking, you knew you were in the wrong. It was you who had been in a bad mood, you who had decided to be snippy to others, and it was your fault Vere had decided to flip you off as you stormed off to your room after you had decided to start up some petty argument about who knows what. 

Your bad mood started this morning when you were out walking with Kuras and Mhin. They knew you and Vere were closer than most, and began to poke and prod with questions subtly. Nothing You couldn’t brush off easily though.

The issue came when Mhin made a joke, asking if the markings on his face felt the same as his skin or if they were more rough. You had no idea of course, with your hands constantly bandaged. You had mumbled something to shift the conversation and stewed in unwarranted anger. You knew why you couldn’t touch Veres' face, but it pissed you off nonetheless. You desperately wanted to know the answer to Mhin’s little question.

And admittedly, you were a little touch starved. You could only fantasize about touching someone’s face.

At the core of the issue, you were upset about what your curse took from you, not just that you couldn’t touch one person's face. 

Which is how one offhand comment puts you in a sour mood for the rest of the day. And when Vere came to meet up with you in the afternoon, you were all too quick to lash out in annoyance. 

Vere of course reacted in kind, being just as snippy to you as you were to him. Which only infuriated you more. Of course you being irrational upset and him not really giving a fuck about your pissy mood, he easily managed to get the upper hand in the conversation. 

You had already decided to be petty today, so the conversation ended with you storming upstairs to your room above the wet wick, slamming the door in quite a dramatic fashion. 

(un)Fortunately for you, Vere wasn't quite done with you just yet, as he barged into your room, feeling no need to knock, and sitting on your desk chair. Fluttering his eyelashes and giving you a playful wave, he sat there silently, obviously waiting for an apology. Seems he wasnt that mad at you, considering he was already trying to get on your nerves again. 

Gods above he couldn’t give you a moment's peace could he? But irritatingly enough, you did owe him one. An apology that is. 

“Ugh. I'm sorry, alright? Can you leave now?” you said, finally breaking the silence. 

“Wow. such heartfelt and poetic wording. How could I not accept?” Vere’s sarcasm was evident in his tone. 

“I. am. Sorry.” you spat through gritted teeth. 

“Glad to hear it. Care to elaborate on what I did to piss you off so much?” he questioned. 

“You didn't do anything, Vere. That's why I said I was sorry.” 

“Then what's got you in such a foul mood?”

“It's stupid.” you admitted. 

“Knowing you, probably. But I'd still like to know who or what made you so upset. If you want I can make someone disappear. I've been needing something fun to toy with for a while.” Vere smirked while admiring his claws. Clearly enjoying the thought of the hunt. 

You sighed. “Well Mhin asked-”

“I get to kill Mhin??” Vere asked, a wide smile cracking across his face.

“No!” you admonished.

“Bore.” he huffed. 

You both lapsed back into silence, Vere clearly waiting on an answer. You were determined not to embarrass yourself further, and Vere finally realized you didn’t want to talk about it. 

Eventually when your annoyance faded, you were simply left with curiosity. It couldn’t hurt to ask surely. 

“Hey, Vere? Do your face markings feel any different than like… the rest of your face? Like is it fur?” You cautioned. 

“Want to find out?” He smiled.

Back to the crux of your problem. You could feel your sour mood returning.

“Well I can’t exactly check can I?” You snapped while raising your bandaged hands. “It’s not like I can-“ 

Before you could finish your sentence, Vere tackled you, nearly knocking you from your sitting position at the edge of the bed, and smushing the side of his face to yours, holding your face up to his. It almost reminded you of a cat rubbing the side of their cheek to your hand. 

“What are you doing?!” You exclaimed. 

“Well? Do the markings feel different?” He laughed. 

You pried your face from his, fighting laughter. 

“No. Feels about the same.” You smile.

“Question answered.” he responded. 

You couldn’t help but reach out and cup his cheeks, giving them a squeeze. 

“You're certainly acting more affectionate than usual.” You stated. 

“You were in a bad mood.” He shrugged. “Feeling less likely to bite my head off now?” 

“Only if I can keep squishing your face” you countered. 

“You have 30 seconds left” he deadpanned.

You shrugged and began to pinch his cheeks together, contorting his stoic expression with your bandaged hands. 

“Alright, that's enough” Vere declared, removing your hands from his face. 

You just smiled and moved to run your fingers through his hair. Before moving your hand down to cup his cheek one last time. Unconsciously you felt Vere nuzzle into it, just a little, before he pulled away.

“Thanks.” you smiled.

“Buy me a drink and well call it even” 

“Deal, let's go.”

[cosmos-coma]

Winter Mountain Soldier Spy - Part 5

A/N: I just can not look at this anymore lol, editing is currently the bane of me. I struggled for WEEKS with the dialogue and then suddenly 2 days ago it just COMES TO ME lmao. I guess that's just the nature of writing??

Pairing: Winter soldier!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Words: 2615

Bucky Masterlist | AO3

Like what I do? Consider buying me a Coffee!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

__________

“I…” Winter sighed, his expression wincing in pain as he fought his better judgment and pulled away, “I need to tell you something…”

Disappointment gripped your chest as he pulled away, leaving you cold at the loss of him, but you refused to show it. 

“I…” you tried and failed to keep the sigh from your voice, “Of course….” 

He nodded and took a quiet, contemplative breath, “I’m not what you think I am…” he started, “I’m… not a good man…” 

“Winter… you-”

“No-” He interrupted, low but firm, “I not- I know now that I not….” 

As quickly as it had opened, your mouth shut again and you nodded slowly. This wasn’t your time to talk. 

He took another breath, “They call me the Winter Solider…. An assassin whose name rattles only those who know which side of the gun they’ll end up on,” His calloused fingers twitched as they ached for the comfort of yours, but he knew he didn’t deserve it, “My hands are covered in more blood than I care to admit-More than I can remember… but I don’t remember much….” 

“They told me I was doing good. That we were putting the world back into order, and I believed them. The people I… ’worked’ for wiped me away regularly. They said it was necessary to keep information from their enemies, so all my memories, all my thoughts… they were shocked away until I was a blank slate again.” He shook his head, “But one day it didn’t seem to take. I don’t know if they didn’t shock me long enough or if I was just lucky- but I could still remember. All these bits and pieces— fragments of jumbled memories, they stayed with me… and piece by piece I started putting them back together.”

“I only remember the past few months well, but I see their faces- the ones I killed before. I lay down to sleep and these memories start flooding back to me. Not just old targets but people– people that I killed, surrounded by their friends and families. And I-” He sighed, looking down briefly as brought himself back to center, “I don’t know how many weeks or months they took from me-“

“Or years…” you whispered quietly, unable to hold the thought in.

His expression winced again in a sad sort of smile. It was obviously something he had considered before, but refused to give voice to, “Or years…” he confirmed with a nod, “I know now… that I’m not a good man— I never can be, but I’d do anything to not let myself get worse….” 

You nodded slowly, your fingers picking at the hem of your sleeve as you tried to process everything that was being piled on top of you. “I... Wow, okay… So, how did you end up on the road…? You were full of bullet holes….”

“I ran.” He answered simply, “I was on a mission- I don’t know how far away. My handlers for once had let their guard down and I just… ran. I remember hearing the shots, but I couldn’t tell you when I got hit. Most of them I only noticed in my last dozen or so miles… and then I stumbled into the road and you nearly hit me,” he explained plainly.

“the last dozen miles...?” You asked, amazed and confused, ‘This man ran more than 12 miles after being shot??‘ You could hardly believe it- but then again… this entire story felt unbelievable. But you knew Winter, and you knew he would never lie to you. He was always honest— sometimes to a fault- and he’d never had a reason to be dishonest with you, and you didn’t believe he was starting now. “Winter, who…Who did this to you?” You asked, trying not to sound as overwhelmed as you felt. 

He watched you for a moment, seemingly debating with himself before giving in and whispering quietly, “… Hydra.”

You frowned; you had heard that name before, though, for all the money in the world, you couldn’t seem to remember why. All you remembered was that it had left a bad taste in your mouth and a pit in your stomach. 

You nodded, and sat quietly for a moment, trying to take in everything you just heard. So you… almost hit a man, let an assassin into your car and house, stitched up his wounds, cooked him breakfast, and even let him sleep in the room directly above you for multiple weeks now. That’s… maybe poor thought on your part. 

But… on the other hand, this was Winter you were talking about. You knew him (now), and as much as he had been an assassin, he was also prey. He was hurt, scared, and cautious— constantly looking over his shoulder for the next strike. But he was also… remarkably protective.  

You thought back to the day after he arrived; how he had come out of the house looking terrified, knife held defensively in hand, because he couldn’t find you anywhere. 

You thought back to the grocery store; how his head turned at every new movement, how his hand refused to leave you, and how no matter what, he always found a way to put himself between you and the “potential threats” that walked past. 

Hell, even thinking back to your walk just a few hours ago! The way he threw his body over you in hopes of taking whatever bullet might be meant for you.

Hydra may have used him as a weapon, but he has always been a shield. All this time, you didn’t realize how much he’d been protecting you, looking over both of your shoulders, possibly even looking for Hydra itself, but you wouldn’t miss it again. 

Finally, you brought your gaze back up to him. Once again you found vivid blue eyes staring down at you, waiting in a pool of worry and fear for you to say something. Anything.

“Will they come for you…? Hydra..?” You asked quietly.

He paused, “…I don’t know. I tried to get rid of anything they could track when I ran, but… that doesn’t mean they won’t try,”  he said quietly. 

“… You never wanted to be a part of Hydra, did you…?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

Silently, he shook his head. 

“And you didn’t know what you were doing was wrong..? When they ordered you to do this…” 

For a moment his movements stuttered, but slowly he shook his head again, “No… but I still did it.”

“It’s true… ” You sighed, leaning against his shoulder just a bit before slowly reaching out and brushing the back of his hand with yours, “… but I don’t blame you.” 

All the tension immediately melted from his muscles and flowed into the ground as you finally reached out to him, his hand gently pushing back against yours, just enough to let you know he didn’t want to let you go again. 

“It’s…” you started to explain, “it was done by your hands, you’re right… and I.. don’t know the entire story, but I know that doesn’t seem like something I can argue…” you spoke low as you hooked a finger with his, “but I also know you had no choice…. Between erasing your memories, and the aftermath of your escape-“ you motioned with your head to his fresh gunshot wounds “- it’s clear that you couldn’t have controlled this…”

His throat closed up like a vice as the back of his eyes prickled with unfamiliar emotion. Despite knowing he still did not deserve it, he hooked another finger around yours and gave you a squeeze.

“I don’t blame you, Winter,” You repeated softly, “You may have done bad things in the past, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be a good man- And all I’ve seen from you is goodness…” You whispered softly as your free hand found his cheek. Your thumb swiped across smooth skin, interrupting the path of an escaped tear.

You pulled the end of your sleeve over your free hand, using it as a makeshift tissue as you tenderly dried his eyes. “It’s okay…” you assured as his temple came gently to rest against yours, his eyes closed as he tried to rein in this foreign expression. 

The two of you sat in comfortable silence there on the porch, wrapped in each other’s arms, with only the stars to listen and pass their judgement.  However you felt no judgement this night- only the weight of it finally leaving his shoulders. 

“Come… let’s head inside… I think we could both use an early night….”

——-

Hours later- well after you and Winter had gone your separate ways in hopes of sleep, you found yourself lingering once again in the dimly lit living room.

The tiny wood stove, scarcely bigger than a microwave, thrummed with warmth and the crackle of life as it hungrily consumed the logs in its belly. The warm glow and gentle heat washed over you through the dirtied glass door, tarnished by age and flame. 

Yet somehow still it could not warm you. 

The smooth cold floor seemed to seep up to rough the soles of your feet and your already chilled backside, to settle deep within, but it was still far better than your bed. There, you had laid shivering between the sheets for what felt like endless hours, but upon opening your eyes, had barely been two.

While the outdoor furnace provided most of the house’s heat, it was awfully slow to travel the house after cold days like these. The indoor wood stove, while rarely used, was good to quickly heat up a small room- or in this case, your frozen bones. 

You sat before the crackling fire with your knees tucked into your chest, trying desperately to conserve what warmth you had. With your sleepy eyes now slowly closing and your head resting admittedly awkwardly on your knee you thought you could fall asleep then and there. But whether it was your ridiculously cold ass or the thoughts of your recent conversation with Winter, you just couldn’t seem to get there. 

Confusing thoughts ran through your mind as you waited for sleep to take you; some stressed, some worried, and some relieved, but rarely was it coherent enough to be followed. Your tired mind had moved to a state of limbo, a constant stream of abstract moving emotions, yet still conscious enough to catch yourself every now and then and begin the cycle anew. You made a small huff of annoyance as a shiver passed through you and roused you from half-sleep once again. 

Maybe you were just too cold, maybe you should’ve grabbed a blanket to sit on- that probably would have been smart of you.

In the midst of your more coherent thoughts, a tired voice mumbled your name from the stairs.

“Mmm?” You hummed, your head turning toward the sound full seconds before you managed to open your eyes. As you looked back you saw Winter standing there, backlit by the lone light of the stairwell. 

His chest was bare, the warm artificial glow clinging and contorting around his skin and allowing you to make out the dark boxer briefs on his lower half. 

You smiled softly, trying to rub the drowsiness from your eyes as you blinked slowly back at him, “Winter…” you mumbled.

He looked around as he stepped down onto the landing and headed toward you, “Couldn’t sleep…?” He asked with a gentle voice, his good hand reaching out with a lingering hesitation, before brushing away one of your many stray hairs. 

“Too cold…” you grumbled as you leaned toward his touch, holding your knees a little tighter to your chest. “Why are you up…?” 

A faint, fond smile spread across his lips as he watched your sleep-stained expression and began to pull away, “Couldn’t sleep either… then I heard the fire going inside.”

Quickly, you brought your hand up to catch his and nodded, “I’m sorry I kept you up… I just can’t seem to get warm right now and I thought this was the best bet.”

Heat flushed across his bare chest as you took his hand, something he… wasn’t sure whether to expect after the rather overwhelming conversation you had just hours ago. But still, you held his hand with all the same tenderness, all the same love, that it left a pleasant buzz rolling around his chest. 

“Aren’t you cold…?” You asked, finally looking him over in better light. His upper half laid bare, allowing the flickering flame to dance and cast shadows over the array of scars that marred him. Some seemed to slash, some stabbed, and others— like his gunshots and metal arm— puckered with painful twisted skin. It wasn’t until now you noticed that even the gunshot wounds you had taken care of just weeks ago, already looked like they had been healing for a year or more. 

You looked back up at him before your gaze could linger long on his lower half, his dark boxer briefs leaving little to the imagination, even in the dim light.

Winter, seemingly unbothered by your once over and the lingering gaze on his scars and arm, shook his head, “I don’t get cold anymore….” 

You smiled, “That must be nice this time of year…” sighing, you patted your legs, a yawn hanging off your lips as you spoke, “I guess I should get back to bed… Winter, will you…?” You trailed off in question, holding your hands up to him for some help up. 

Instead, however, after only a half second of deliberation on his part, you found yourself being lifted into the air by a pair of strong arms. Surprise covered your face as Winter picked you up with no effort whatsoever, after all you were NOT a small person. Yet even still- like picking up a stuffed toy from the ground, he held you securely against his chest. 

The fireplace crackled and popped behind you, giving voice to the electricity that ran across your skin as you were pressed into his firm chest. Pleasant heat, unrivaled even by the fireplace, raced throughout your body and instantly warmed even the depths of you. 

Though as your surprise seemed to register to the super soldier you saw his expression begin to turn nervous, and you knew he had misread your signs, “…. I’m sorry, I…” he muttered his apology with a hint of sheepishness in his tone and began to put you down, until you quickly interjected.

“No…!” You rushed, holding him a little tighter, “No…. Please, don’t let me go…” there was a certain vulnerability in your voice that even you were not expecting to hear. 

Your fingers, which had unknowingly tangled themselves amongst his long hair tugged just a bit at your request, further emphasizing your will to stay, “Please…” you whispered again. You stared into the once cold pools of his eyes as you made your plea, and once again found yourself leaning into him. 

But this time it would not be wasted, as Winter leaned in as well, his nose brushing delicately against yours as he spoke a hair’s breadth away, “I will never let you go again….”

Your heart hammered away in your chest as he closed the narrow gap, and even still as soft lips pressed firmly against your own.

Your freehand found his cheek easily, urging him not to pull away and he turned toward your room. 

With the fire now long forgotten the Winter Soldier stayed true to his word, he never let you go again and he kept you warm all throughout the night to prove it.

______________

General Bucky Taglist:

@writingmysanity @simpxinnie @goldylions @yeehawbrothers @mgchaser

WMSS Taglist:

@fanfictionreaderfan @thesarcasmqueen-22

If you wanted to be added to the general or WMSS Taglist please ask/DM and let me know!

[un-love]

drunk voicemails with svt (part 2)

a/n: after 11 months, it's completed lol. i'm sorry for taking so long, i'm terrible at this writing thing

find part 1 here

♡॒ dokyeom

i keep thinking about that night. all the things you said, the things i said. the hurt in your eyes. i wish i had reached a hand out to wipe your tears. i wish i could go back and tell myself to stop avoiding my feelings under the pretence of giving you space. but i can't. the only thing left to do now is wonder. and drink. in that order. to wonder if there's a chance that you didn't mean it. if it breaks your heart as much as it breaks mine. if your days are as miserable as mine, or if you've moved on. does it make me a terrible person to hope you feel incomplete without me? your side of the bed is still unslept on, your clothes still living in my closet. you're still here, so why won't you talk to me? i'm starting to lose track of the voice mails i've left you, i'm sorry

♡॒ mingyu

oh hey. this went straight to voicemail...i know we just parted ways but i miss you. we're still at the bar and if i don't say this now, i never will. i spent half the night looking at you, i know you knew. you looked beautiful. i should be feeling embarrassed or something but the liquor has washed away the shame. i can't leave this unsaid anymore. okay? it hurts to go through the same motions everyday. i don't want to spend my days wishing cheol invites you to dinner every evening. i don't want to steal quick glances at you just because i'm afraid you'll disappear if i look away. don't wanna see you in anyone's arms but mine. want to walk you home without being worried about what you think of me. but you already know this, don't you? you've always been able to look right through me. you probably think i've said too much, but i swear, nothing i say will ever come close enough to how i feel about you. i almost want to take it back, but i won't. not tonight.

♡॒ minghao

i think of you when i'm sitting down to eat, when my friends buy mint chocolate ice cream or when i see the shirt you gifted me discarded in the back of my closet. the sunset was three different shades of pink last saturday and i almost sent you a picture. can you come back to me? the winter chill has permanently made a home in my bones and i'm lost without your touch. the threads of sanity i'm hanging on by are worn out now. my best friend is giving me a look that says he wants to leap across the bar and snatch my phone, but i don't care. i want to make it right. call me please.

♡॒ seungkwan

you were right. i'm not okay...i'm doing terribly. *laughs* nothing is okay. it hurts everywhere. it hurts when i close my eyes, it hurts when i take a breath and it hurts when i think about how i've pushed away everyone who wanted to help me. i keep having this dream where you refuse to let go of my hand. i'm cold. everything around me is crumbling and i think it's my fault. i can't say that i don't deserve this, but i need you now. will you come to me? will you come and hold my hand?

♡॒ vernon

i have been meaning to ask you this. i- yeah. you remember that dress you have? the long black one with sequins all over it? you look so beautiful in that. AND when you put up your hair and i can see your pretty face? stunning. why is it so hard for me to say these things to your face, dammit? it's all true. i wanted to tell you this before we— well the reason i'm calling is because i wanted to ask you to be my date to the wedding. and no, no that's not the only reason why i'm telling you how beautiful you are. it's one of the reasons. the other one is that i'm drunk! you're gorgeous, angelic even. and you still will be tomorrow, when i'm sober. so you know, back to the fact that i need a date. i mean i need You to be my date. i would love that. so ... call me back, yeah? is it odd that i already imagined how you would look on my arm in that dress? probably. i'm hanging up now-

♡॒ chan

i'm looking at the clock ticking and the numbers are blurry but the only thing on my mind is that your flight is in six hours. and then in another twelve hours you'll be in my arms. you and me. it's always been you, you know? the thought of us not having to be apart ever again is making me crazy, i'm sorry. i'm not jinxing it, right? god. the first thing we're doing is going down to my favourite ice cream place!!! i'll drive you back home and to work everyday. and when you put your hand against mine, it'll be soft. it won't be cold, hard glass anymore. can you fucking believe that? it's going to be incredible. come to me soon.

[horsegamergirl]

A new game blog just came out with many interesting things, here's a link if you want to read it whole, I'm gonna write down what I think is the most important/interesting:

They plan to release the showjumping with faults and penalties permanently sometime this fall or winter

They planned to release the wardrobe update in April, but they had to postpone to June. They ran into a problem with UI scaling, so it's again postponed, but they want to release it this year.

This delay also affected their plans to put more slots on the character and horse sheet. This mean that the ability to wear earrings and glasses at the same time, or the release of ear bonnets and horse blankets will be set to later. (Expected realease 2025 and later)

The customizable stables are coming (they said September on instagram under one post). Throughout the rest of this year, they'll release more options, so we can "mix and match". If people like it, they will continue to evolve and release new ones during 2025.

The new system for retrofitting older horses is nearly finished. They plan to finish it late 2024 and have all G3 horses retrofitted before summer 2025.

I'm gonna just copy this one: "We’re introducing a new way of interacting with your horse and fellow players in a revamped area set in a ye olde time. We hope you're as excited as we are for this addition — we think this journey in time will be magical!"

wait, wait, wait... a REVAMPED AREA?!?!

For now, breeding horses is off the table. Instead, they're focusing on more customization for horses and more interactions between the horse and the rider - this includes personality and reactions from your horses! (this will be G4 I think)

They started to work on the name changes, but changed the focus on functionality of the launcher and the handling of Star Coins Wallets. The name change is not forgotten, but it won't come in 2024 or 2025.

More body types, more face options and more skin colours are planned, but they have to optimize and improve graphical pipeline first, otherwise it could lead to game crashes and game instabilities. These optimizations and improvements will be done by January 2025. Additional body types will be worked on during 2025. They're also thinking of making it as a slider, so people can create themselves. Whatever they choose, it won't come earlier than late 2025 or even 2026, depending on what gets in the way.

Copying: "Narrative and Story!: This will be for another post. We will not stop, ever, to share stories from the universe of Jorvik—there are still many untold secrets, and much more to discover in the stories we've already begun." That sounds ominous lol, but does that mean they plan to finish the unfinished storylines?

There will be part 2 of this game blog, when it drops, I'll let y'all know.

[turvi]

Hey Turvi! I would love to read reader being pregnant with Remus' baby. He's just such a dilf, lol

Hii...so sorry for the delay. I hope you like this. Thanks for being patient I never got so many asks at the same time so thanks for being patient.

A/N: HE IS SOOOOO BEAUTIFUL.

WARNING: KISSING, PREGNANCY.

Remus shivered as he made his way to his home. The December wind was colder than usual. Evidently, there were only three people on the street, the harsh winter keeping people indoors.

It was so quiet he could only hear the sound of the snow crunching under his shoe and the cold wind blowing past him. The winter never suited him, but he still donned a smile, knowing his wife was waiting for him. Oh, how could he forget his little one growing in her belly?

Remus looked around, hoping no one saw him or else people would think he was crazy for smiling for no reason. But he could not help but smile like a dork. He is married to the one he has loved for what seems like forever, and now they are expecting a baby Lupin. He was so giddy he felt like a teenager.

He didn't even realise when he reached his front door, he was so lost in his thoughts of his Y/n and their child. He took out the spare key and opened the door. He was immediately welcomed by the smell of a home-cooked meal.

Remus frowned as he made walked towards the kitchen. He saw his beloved moving around the kitchen. She was five months into her pregnancy.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, planting kisses on her neck. Remus has always been protective of Y/n, but ever since she declared she was pregnant, his protectiveness only doubled down.

"I thought I made it clear I was making dinner for." His words mumbled as he kept kissing her shoulder. Remus groaned when he felt her hand in his hair.

"I wanted to make your favourite."

Y/n gasped when he lightly tugged her hair, exposing her neck. "Now be a good girl and go lay on our bed." his voice dropped an octave."

Y/n could only nod. As soon as she sat on their bed, Remus sat on the foot of the bed, massaging her feet as he looked at her fondly. "I told you to rest. But now you are on your feet more." He gently reprimanded her. "You have to be careful, lovie. You are carrying our little one." He gazed into her eyes with genuine worry. His thoughts run rampant. Worrying one wrong move and he will lose both her and their child.

As if reading his mind, she gently cupped his jaw, looking into his dark green eyes that were on the verge of tears. "Oh, Remmy." her voice cracked. She knew he tried to be strong for her, but deep down his heart was still hurting. "Darling, I am sorry if I worried you, I just wanted to do something nice for you."

Remus shook his head, wiping her tears that she didn't realise were there. "It's not your fault, lovie. I am just taking all the precautions I can," he said, caressing her protruding stomach. "I...I want to talk to him."

She nodded with a giddy smile, and he scooched closer, smirking as he leaned towards her belly. "Hey bud, it's Papa. I am so excited to meet you. Your mama and I are eagerly waiting for you."

Y/n smirked, "how do you know it's a boy?"

Remus hummed as he smiled lovingly at her. "Just a hunch. Either way, I will love our child." He kissed her stomach, his heart full of love. He has everything he ever wished for even if it scared him. "I love you so much. The words fail to explain how I feel for you my darling."

Y/n tugged him closer, kissing him, cupping his face, his eyes fluttered when he felt her warm hands on his cold cheeks. Remus took her hand and placed it on his chest, where she could feel his beating heart. "I promise to love you now and forever."

She smiled. It is their wedding vow they find themselves reciting it to each other randomly. "I promise to love you now and forever."

Y/n smiled as he kissed her again. His hand was still on her stomach protectively.

"Why don't you glue your hands on my stomach. That way, you can always protect the child." she teased and giggled as he pinched her nose.

"You have got quite a mouth on, you lovie." He growled as he grabbed her jaw and peppered kisses all over her face.

Y/n giggled as he kept kissing her. "I can't wait to meet our child," she mumbled against his lips

"Me too lovie. I'm so excited," he said kissing her stomach and continued talking to their child as she rested.

A/N: REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED

[cainightfics]

instead of answering all the asks individually, im just going to address the main question in one post...

where have i been? am i coming back?

tldr: 1) lots of places 2) yes

to answer in greater detail, it rly all begins with the night i made the horrible decision to hit submit on my application to grad school: december 15 2022. now i would not say grad school in itself has been horrible. my last life update in 2023 i was super broke and not doing well-- since then ive gotten scholarships, funding, and job opportunities, so contrary to most people's experience with grad school ive actually appreciated a (mostly) very financially stable existence here. i am just, to put it bluntly, tired. over the past 2 years, due to both my education and the general state of the world, ive had very little will to write fic. ive spent much of my time producing academic work or writing fiction elsewhere. i burned out bad writing my graduating honours thesis in 2023 and have been bombarded with similarly draining long term projects since. i became a semi-notable scholar in my micro-field and have been at conferences all around the world, on projects funded by the government, teaching classes etc but im ready for it to be over. im glad to have had the experience, but when i graduate in a couple months, i won't miss the mental exhaustion. im the type of person that values my freedom too much for all that.

aside from that, ive had 10 jobs in the last 2 years and been doing tons of random shit lol. i learned pretty early on into grad school that despite my success here, academia is really not my thing, so to deal with my disillusionment i started just doing whatever the fuck on weekends. why am i disillusioned? because there is systemic rot that becomes increasingly ridiculous and hypocritical the further up you get, most things you do are either pointless or happen on such a slow timeline they are rendered pointless through the slog, and because it's basically a pyramid scheme.

beyond the structural issues, a lot of people here are... kind of dumb. or maybe not dumb, but disappointing. i haven't made any friends here. that's definitely partially my fault, but also, i just don't find a lot of these people super inspiring or interesting or fun. i think im kind of the crazy person of my program lol. as some of you may know from my previous ask replies i have a very pessimistic and doomer mentality... and something about the insularity and toxic optimism of many ppl in academia bothers me. also you know when you can tell someone has never had the formative experience of working in customer service and being screamed at, assaulted, or threatened by a customer? and so without that formative experience they are annoyingly fresh and naive and innocent and nervous about everything and haven't been beaten down by life in a way that's made them more chill and empathetic? imagine that but it's every person in the room because you are at an elite school known for nepotism and everyone there grew up rich. yeah.

so onto the random shit ive been doing. ill just include the highlights

- found and raised a baby raven

- lived in the woods and survived off shoplifting and fishing for a portion of the winter

- became a cowboy for a bit

- harvested weed for two days, never got paid

- also randomly worked on a pirate ship for like 4 hrs

- went to mexico with 100usd

- went to nyc and visited e corp and elliots house and realized for myself how much elliots commute in-show doesn't make sense lol

- got a job at a maid cafe bc i thought it would be funny and they guilted me into working there for a full month

- very nearly got arrested while trying to ride the rails, had to hide in a cold metal rail car for 2 hrs in the middle of nowhere while i was literally hunted down

- for a while got very into the idea of becoming a hermit and living in a cave (may still revisit this in some way)

those are kind of the highlights! and the whole time i was plagued by the thought that i needed to go back to ao3 and finish what i started....

on a serious note, ive realized over the past 2 years that im not really built for a stable life. its not that i look down on it per say, i just can't do it. im incompatible with the life we are "supposed" to live according to the current cultural hegemony. what i enjoy is reading for fun, writing for fun, exploring, investigating, solving puzzles. when i feel stifled and overwhelmed, i can't focus on that. i do think the experience of grad school has helped me grow, but the development is almost negative-- that was my shot at taking a normal trajectory, or at trying to find validation and solace in a traditional setting. i realized the feedback and sort of affective dialectic of interacting with you, of writing and having my work read by an audience who shares the same interests as me, is far more fulfilling than what ive been doing. im really looking into trying to pursue a life where i can be somewhat self sufficient and have lots of time (and not just time, mental energy!!) for creative stuff. i have become increasingly pessimistic about our collective future and about The State Of Things, but at the same time, ive found existential freedom in giving up on the life everyone tells me i should be living

so anyways. if u feel inclined, i'd like to know what you've been up to as well!!