#And your sense of self worth has been tied to being better

[social-media-shy]

I love this moment in ep 6 when Pat says, "thank you for saving Pa." It is such a turning point in their relationship. Until then, Pat has carried the guilt of not acting on that day near the river, and of Pran's transfer. He has constantly been trying to make it up to Pran, feeling like he owes him. And he has done a ton of stuff for Pran, but it has never felt monumental enough compared to the stuff Pran has done or gone through.

For Pat this was the moment he let go of all of that. And in a way Pran truly became one of his own, rather than an "other" he owes or has to make up stuff to. Recognising that all he ever needed to do was thank Pran. That there was nothing to feel inadequate or responsible for.

And while he told Pran that he thought about things from his perspective and Pran was put in the same position as him, so he could never hate him for any of it. Pat also finally gave himself that same consideration, empathy and kindness. Such a healing moment from the shit Pat's dad put him through. I love him. Iove them.

[ukiyowi]

𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐈

Note: These are my observations if it doesn't resonate scroll xx

Masterlist || Tip 🍯

𐂲 I've recently noticed, whatever sign your mars is in and whichever body part that sign rules, can often result in getting accidentally hurt or random in that part. (Example, Mars in gemini = getting hurt on arms/hands, in Capricorn = scalp/knees/teeth, in Aries = head/sometimes cheekbones, etc)

𐂲 One thing I've noticed about Virgo risings is how much they underestimate themselves, they also usually have trouble with anxiety and overthinking

𐂲 Mystic rectangles give a lot of balance to a person but it can also come with multiple internal hardships and conflicts (in forms of insomnia or mental illnesses) and they often need external help to reach their full potential

𐂲 Pluto - Neptune hard aspects especially squares bring into consideration the back and forth between transformation versus illusion, what I mean by that is they have trouble distinguishing patterns in their cycles and may think they're imagining changes rather than believing that it's real (I hope this makes sense I've been trying to word it for the past 5 mins)

𐂲 I know we talk a lot about Leo Risings having great hair but imo Pisces rising have such luscious hair, like they have sm volume and shine to them?? They also look like a waterfall, just flowing, it's so pretty <//3

𐂲 Saturn in 4th/5th/11th house can overshare on the internet about everything going on with their lives

𐂲 Pluto in 6th house feel powerful only when they're working, so they never stop and even when they feel burnt out, they feel their sense of self and self worth is only tied to what they can give, therefore they may face guilt when they try to rest.

𐂲 This is simply a personal observation/theory but I have noticed that people who have a lot of degrees that are higher in number like 20+ often feel more comfortable with people older than them especially if those degrees sit in Pluto or Saturn

𐂲 I've noticed Aries mercuries also have very heavy footsteps, you can hear the thump 😭

𐂲 12th house Pluto are their own best friend and worst enemy, they may enable bad habits for others and justify the same for themselves, HOWEVER once the natives know how to harness the power of Pluto and understand it better, they can be really influential because a lot of people may be subconsciously attracted to the power they possess.

𐂲 Can we talk about Leo risings and how good their self concept is? Like... Please teach me tysm

𐂲 LIBRA PLACEMENTS IN GENERAL HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME WITH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES I'LL CRY- I have a friend with Libra venus and she can never say no to someone especially if she starts liking them :// and it's so hard to see ppl just take advantage of her, I also have friends and relatives with Libra in the big 3 and not only are they complete givers, they also have such a hard time taking, they feel guilty.

✓✓✓ Going to be mean to some of my placements/aspects now

𐂲 Venus conjunct Mars are so fucking clingy but ALSO so flighty🤨🤨choose ??? Do you want to be in this relationship (platonic/romantic) or do you not, stop being so hot and cold (it may help if I tell you both of these are in gemini for me)

𐂲 Chiron - moon placements have mommy issues or wounds related to their mothers/maternal figures in their lives

𐂲 Jupiter virgos can be such doormats at times, just because you want to help people doesn't mean you keep emptying your cup to fill others'.

𐂲 Mercury in 1st have their self worth TIED to their intelligence, like stop flaunting your knowledge, low-key looks insecure.

𐂲 Jupiter opposition Uranus has such rebel without a cause energy, what are you going to "rebel" against now, please sit down for a second

𐂲 Mars Square Ascendant, people with this aspect are always ready to fight, feel like everything is a personal attack, and are terrible at being alone

✓✓✓ Back to your regularly scheduled programme

𐂲 Something I've wanted to say to each stellium I've met so far:

𐂲 Aries: You have a lot of life in you, hand some over🤲🤲🤲, seriously though you guys look at everything with such wonder and curiosity, you're also kinda impatient but that's fine with me :")

𐂲 Sagittarius: You're so cool, I want to be like you, introspective, self aware, your humour is a little concerning at times but you teach me so much all the time, you're the guide I've always wished for

𐂲 Leo: You're a born entertainer and at times I can be a bit envious because of how bright you shine, leaving me in the shadows, but I love you and your love for life regardless, you're a star

𐂲 Gemini: You are so stealthy in everything you do, sometimes you slip through the cracks, a trickster (affectionate), I love how you can be mischievous one second and completely serious the next

𐂲 2nd house: You're just so understanding and make me feel like home, it's like you are home personified, very warm and comforting, also so abundant in everything it's crazy

𐂲 8th house: Stop making me talk about my feelings I'll cry >:(( no but seriously, you guys have something about you that just makes people face what they're avoiding, and you are so good at empathising with them.

[callsign-rogueone]

not alone - r.g.

Ridoc Gamlyn x reader part three of Ridoc and Sweetheart’s story. words: 1.8k 🏷: Iron Flame spoilers in a vague sense, reader experiencing the joys of RSC, implications of torture but it’s not shown, mild panic attack / anxiety spiral / self-deprecating thoughts, bring tissues maybe, “happy” ending, Ridoc (and Sawyer) to the rescue! I am so stuck on the first-date scene that I just skipped it for now but it will happen eventually, I promise!!

This has to be a dream. It feels like something out of an adventure novel — waking up in a literal dungeon, chained to the wall. 

“Rhith?”

You wait a few seconds, but she doesn’t respond. Oh, gods, what if she… no, she’s okay. She has to be okay, because you’re okay. Maybe she’s asleep or off hunting or something.

But she’s never not responded to you before. She’s always replied, always been there to assuage your worries and remind you that it’ll be okay, just breathe. 

Breathe. Deep breaths, think about the butterflies… You look up, seeing no trace of them, no flutter of blue wings in the dim mage light of the room that you can’t seem to brighten, either.

You try it again, picturing them more clearly, thinking about the patterns on their wings and the colors… Nothing.

Something is definitely wrong. 

Why can’t you make a simple illusion? Is your signet broken? Is that why you’re down here? Is this some kind of reconditioning? A punishment? Or are you here to be executed for being defective?

“Rhith?” you try again, still working to steady your breathing, but every second that passes without a response only tightens the knot around your heart.

There’s no use. She’s not going to respond, because she’s given up on you, finally realized she’d chosen poorly, that you aren’t fit to be a rider after all, and decided to do away with you before the next Threshing, where she could choose a better rider, one who doesn’t need constant reassurance and hand-holding like a child.

The door swings open, a uniformed infantry officer stepping inside, here to decide your fate. He’s fully armed, a short blade in his hand, ready to carve into your skin or to pierce your heart, put you out of your misery — to thin the herd, to separate the wheat from the chaff. 

“I’m sorry,” you plead, as if that will change her mind. “I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll try harder, I’ll prove to you that I can handle it, just please don’t give up on me, don’t leave me here to die, please…”

He scoffs at you. “Crying already? This is going to be easier than I thought.”

You can’t dry your tears with your hands tied behind your back, so you settle for blinking them away and willing them to stop — you need to be strong if you want to get out of this room alive and see your brother and sister and the rest of your family again.

Family. That’s it — to convince them you’re worth it, you need to be someone else, someone who is worth it, like your brothers. 

You’re going to get through this. You’re going to endure whatever they put you through like Garrick would, and do it all with a straight face like Xaden, and be brave like Liam and smart like Brennan, and then Rhith will take you back, and everything will be okay again; you just need to stay strong.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Ridoc can’t find you at breakfast— you aren’t sitting with Bodhi and Imogen and the other marked ones like you always do. Maybe you’re sleeping in, he decides. The thought is a small comfort to him, but he can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

He hadn’t seen you all weekend, but that much is normal — he’d spent Saturday afternoon with his friends at the tavern in town, and you aren’t the going-out type; you’d rather curl up with a book to distract yourself from the rest of the world and it’s cruelty.

You hadn’t answered your door when he’d come to extend you the invitation, but he’d just assumed you were elsewhere. And your relationship is new, anyway, new enough that the word relationship probably isn’t the best to describe what the two of you have — you’ve been on two dates. You aren’t going to be spending every hour of your spare time together. 

But you aren’t at morning formation either, and as he settles into his usual seat at Battle Brief, you’re still nowhere to be found. There’s no denying it now; this isn’t a series of coincidences, this is a pattern, and something is definitely wrong.

Second squad seems to all realize what’s happening at once.

“I’m sure she’s okay,” Sawyer tries, but Ridoc seems unconvinced, bouncing his leg under the table nervously. His eyes snap toward the door as it creaks open, one person walking through.

You make it up to the back of the lecture hall, settling into the open chair beside Ridoc, your usual spot these days.

Everyone’s eyes widen at the cuts and bruises across your arms and face, knowing there’s likely even more covered by your clothes.

“Are you okay?” Violet asks in a whisper, knowing it’s a stupid question, but wanting to say something anyway.

You nod, chewing your lip. “I’m fine, but I can’t feel Rhith. I don’t know what happened.”

You’ve been trying all morning, had tried all night when they’d finally left you to sleep… you haven’t heard anything from her in two full days, but the infantry officer had let you go free, so you must have passed whatever test they’d given you, decided you were worthy of being a rider after all.

Guilt flickers in Ridoc’s chest - he should have told you, given you some kind of warning. “They did the same thing to us last week. It was something in the water. It’ll wear off soon, I promise.” He holds a hand out, a small icicle forming in his palm that he wraps in a piece of soft fabric. “Here.”

You take it from him, holding it to the killer bruise forming on your jaw from where the officer’s fist had nearly broken it. “Thank you.”

You’re exhausted. You’d barely had enough time to shower before class started, and you’re pretty sure you’re concussed; it’s hard to think, and everything is too bright in here, too loud…

You turn your gaze back to the professor, but don’t take any notes, don’t make any move to take a pen and paper from your bag, letting your eyes fall shut as Devera continues her analysis. It goes in one ear, out the other, but you know none of it is true anyway, or if it is, it’s only half the story.

The ice is starting to melt against the warmth of your skin, dripping down your wrist. He takes it back, letting it disappear into thin air and pocketing the wet handkerchief silently, resting an arm on the back of your chair and pressing a soft kiss to your bruised temple.

You blink awake at the sound of everyone getting up to leave — you must have gotten almost an hour of sleep. It’s taken some of the edge off, but your entire body still aches as you rise from your seat.

“Aotrom says she’s on the flight field,” Ridoc says, shouldering your bag before you can protest. “Do you wanna go see her?”

You just nod in response, your jaw still aching too much to speak. You make the walk up in silence, your heart clenching when you see Rhith standing there, waiting for you.

The comforting voice is finally back in your head. “Hello, sweet one.”

“Hi,” you say aloud, voice wavering. 

She lowers her head to you, letting you stroke a hand over the dark green scales of her nose. “I would never want to replace you, sweet one. You are just as strong and just as valuable as your brothers, and I chose you for a reason.”

You realize that she’d heard it all, your desperate pleas for her to spare your life, the promises that you’d be better, thinking she’d abandoned you…

“I’m sorry for thinking that, I just… my signet stopped working, and I couldn’t hear you…” you’re going to cry just thinking about it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she soothes. “Try it again.” 

You take a breath and close your eyes, picturing a butterfly. When you open them, you can see one floating through the gentle afternoon breeze. You add another, just to be sure that it wasn’t a fluke, and another… three of them now, content to flutter around in front of you.

Ridoc is still watching you, silent. The look of relief on your face breaks his heart.

He realizes that by separating you from Rhith, they’d taken away your only friend in that room. He’d had Rhiannon and Violet and Sawyer by his side the whole time, but you’d been entirely alone; no marked ones, nobody from your squad — you’re the only second-year left. They’d taken your best coping mechanism as well, your ability to self-soothe with your gentle projections. 

Rhith looks up at Ridoc, who stands a respectful distance away, your bookbag slung over his shoulder. “She says thank you,” you relay for her, “for taking care of me.”

Ridoc smiles. “Always, sweetheart. Now let's get you to the healers, hm?”

He holds out a hand, and you hesitate a moment before you take it, intertwining your fingers loosely. His skin is warm against yours, soft, gentle, safe. When you make it down the hill and across the bridge to the infirmary, you almost don’t want to let go.

You stay as close to Ridoc as you can for the rest of the day. He treats you incredibly carefully, even after you’ve been mended back to normal, the cuts healed and bruises faded completely.

You’re grateful to wake up in your own bed the next morning, silently getting ready for the day and falling into your place at morning formation.

“Atken,” Dain calls, gesturing for you to come see him. “You’re being transferred.”

What? Why? Your heart races, but you follow him silently, stopping in front of a different squad, in Fourth Wing.

“I think you already know most of your squadmates,” he prompts.

You take a good look at them — nearly all of your friends; Imogen and Sloane and Violet, and now Ridoc and his friends too. You might cry. “Thank you,” you say quietly.

“Don’t thank me, thank those two. They made quite the argument for transferring you.” He nods toward Ridoc and Sawyer — they both smile at you, Ridoc grinning from ear to ear, Sawyer looking rather bashful.

“So you won’t have to be alone anymore,” Ridoc answers before you can ask. 

You fall into the formation beside him, reaching over to hook your pinky around his in a tiny show of appreciation. “Thank you.”

He smiles at you, warm and bright, keeping your fingers interlocked through the morning roll and announcements.

Maybe your second year won’t be so bad anymore.

[treysimp]

i’m sick as a dog rn (i think it’s just a cold but it’s got me DOWN) and was wondering if you could do headcanons of either the second or third years taking care of a sick reader 😭

Aww! Me too lovely! Self-indulgence coming right up! 🛎🍳

Taking Care of You When You're Sick 🤧(GN!Reader/Octavinelle: Azul, Floyd, Jade)

Rating: G

Tags: Reader’s body not described nor are pronouns used, fluff, reader has a cold, Floyd says something suggestive but nothing actually happens haha, implied pining.

Words: 2k

Author’s notes: I ended up writing a short story rather than headcanons, whoops? Snipped it to just the Octotrio due to the length, haha. I just came down with a cold too, (as if just having recovered from surgery wasn't enough lol) so we can both project onto some cute fish boys to drown our sorrows together. 😖

Want more TWST? Here’s my masterlist!

Azul Ashengrotto:

He has no idea what to do (affectionate). Azul will notice your absence from daily activities fairly quickly. He had the schedules memorized of the more ah... let's call them 'notable' students, and that includes you. Grim had been attending classes, but if anyone asked him where you were he would just say something about him 'not being your babysitter'. This was technically correct because you were in fact, Grim's babysitter, but it wasn't worth the breath one would waste arguing with him.

By overhearing the conversation between some of your socially impaired first-year groupies, it appeared you were sick. This bothered him greatly. Humans were much more susceptible to disease than mermen and pathetic as it was, he felt a tinge of charity pull at his heart upon hearing that you were ill. He supposed that he could visit.

Armed with a ‘how to take care of a sick human’ article on his phone, a reusable bag, and a full wallet, he raided Sam’s shop for all of the things that are supposed to make even the frailest of humans feel better. He debated calling in Jade and Floyd for their assistance in taking care of you, but he decided the snide comments of the twins weren’t worth the possible benefits. If you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself after all. Armed with soup, tissues, multiple types of medicine, and hot and cold patches, Azul makes his way to Ramshackle.

He knocks, but no response. He supposed he should have guessed as much, it’s not like the ghosts would answer and Grim is doing whatever that fiery tanuki does on the daily.

“Prefect?” He called, pushing on the doorknob to find it unlocked. With a shrug he traipses inside, scanning around the lounge, the bathroom, and the kitchen. It was beaten to hell, but there was a charm to the small things you had littered around the place to make it feel like home. A tied rag potholder here, a stained apron there, he felt a small smile spread across his face. Cute. Terribly kitsch and with no sense of room appeal, but cute.

A floorboard creaked upstairs, and he figured that was where you might be. Azul headed up the stairs and softly called your name, hearing a loud ‘BWUH’ come behind a door that he assumed was yours. Knocking softly, he called out to you again.

“May I come in?” He asked, plastering on his proper salesman face. You so owed him for this display of goodwill.

“A-Azul? Uh, yeah.” You called, voice audibly hoarse and nasally.

Azul swept into your room and set down his bag of goods, sweeping over your room curiously for information. It was the cleanest room in the whole house, but that was like saying that you got second place out of three entries. There were your books and schoolwork, some knickknacks and souvenirs that your friends had undoubtedly given you, but it was otherwise quite bare. As to be expected, he supposed. After a moment of silence, his eyes finally fell on you. Your eyes were red and glassy, your lips chapped, and you were covered in goosebumps. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Wait, what…?

Azul slapped his hand to his chest instinctually, surprised at the sudden feeling that was washing over him. On the other hand, you looked at him with ever-increasing skepticism.

“How can I help you Azul?” You rasp, eyes flicking between his face and the bag that he had dropped on your floor. Azul looked a little flushed. Was it hot in here? Your fever was making it difficult to tell.

“I just ah…” Azul began, his pulse fluttering as he looked for a good explanation. “I just wanted to…”

Your brow was raised amusedly. How often did anyone get to see Azul of all people be at a loss for words?

“I just wanted to make sure that someone had thought to take care of you… since you’re alone here, and all.” He finished, the flush on his cheekbones darkening. He thought back to the times that his family had taken care of him when he was sick, and also the times that they hadn’t. The times that he was alone. And you, you were always that alone, weren’t you?

“Please allow me to help you… on the house.” He finished, eyes looking anywhere but at you.

“I see.” You say. You eye his bag, his expression, the way his hair was windswept in an uncharacteristic way, “Thank you, Azul.”

“You’re… very welcome.”

Floyd Leech:

He has no idea what to do (insult). Azul had returned from Ramshackle earlier that day in an uncharacteristically spacey mood, and he had a suspicion that it had something to do with you. Telling Jade that he was heading out, he walked to the decrepit building. Opening the door without knocking, he saw that one of Azul’s bags was on the table. Huh.

Rifling through the contents, he found supplies for human colds. Putting two and two together, his face curled into a smirk.

“Azul is making shrimp scampi, huh?” He giggled, cracking himself up with his joke. The soup was chicken noodle, but you had to work with the material you were given. Waltzing his way upstairs to your room, he slammed the door open, which woke you up with a start.

“W-what? Floyd?” You yelled, holding your blanket to your chest in surprise.

There was a slight sliver of skin exposed from the buttons of your pajama top had come loose. Floyd’s eyes flicked to your slipping collar and then back to your face, giggling while he strode forward, flopping to a seat next to you.

“Shrimpy, what is it about you, huh?” He asks, getting dangerously close to your face as his eyes scan for any microexpression that might give away your secret.

“You’re just so… different, aren’t you?” He asked, trailing a finger down the line between your ribs. You frowned and slapped his hand away.

“Floyd, I’m too tired for your weird teasing, okay? Get away, I don’t want to get you sick too.” You chide, trying to push him to his feet and off of your bed with your germy self.

Floyd clicked his tongue, “Aww, don’t be like that. Idiots don’t get colds you know? I’ll be fine.” He said with a grin, the low light sparkling off of his pointed teeth.

You frowned. You highly doubted that but you also knew so little about mermen that he might be right? Ugh, why was everything so confusing?

“Aww, your face is so cute.” Floyd cooed, squishing your cheeks like dough. “Should I sleep here with you? Will that make you feel better?” He asked, getting uncomfortably close again.

“Flowyed, stut upf.” You whined, words muffled by Floyd’s vice grip on your face.

“Fish are cold-blooded, you know? I’d be like an ice pack for your feverish ‘Lil head.” He continued, seemingly convincing himself more than you about why this was such a good idea.

“If you’re really good, we can snuggle naked?”

“FLOYD!”

“Fine, fine, you’re no fun,” Floyd sighed, finally standing up and walking towards your hall. He looked over his shoulder at you as he was closing the door, a mischievous sparkle in his eye.

“I’ll come to sleep with you when you’re well instead. Later!” He cackled, slamming the door shut to shield himself from the pillow you had tried to lob directly at your face.

Feeling even warmer than you had a minute ago, you collapsed in a huff and yelled into your pillow in frustration.

This freaking eel was going to kill you.

Jade Leech:

Something was apparently in the air today, because both Azul and Floyd had gone to visit the Ramshackle Prefect. Jade had to admit that he was quite fond of them, their naïveté about the world they had found themself in was quite entertaining to watch, especially as it pertained to non-humans such as himself. One day they had taken multiple hours to quiz him about merpeople, their food, their culture, and even their anatomy. Jade had offered a “demonstration” on the anatomy portion, but they had sadly refused his kindness. A pity.

Both Azul and his brother had returned with significant mood changes. Azul had returned in a strangely introspective mood, staring dazedly out the windows with his brows knit in thought and then locking himself in his office for the last few hours, clearly wrapped up in some sort of project.

On the other hand, while Floyd was similarly distracted, he seemed quite frustrated. He was being fairly active on campus, running around in search of stimulation. Jade recognized this as being one of Floyd’s many coping mechanisms when he was actively trying to distract himself. How very interesting.

Walking up to Ramshackle, Jade was distracted by the thought of how the gloomy and decrepit building could be well utilized as a greenhouse for some tricky plants he had hoped to cultivate. He filed away that thought for later, perhaps the Prefect would be willing to trade him some growing space in one of the spare rooms at a later date. He would just need to think of something that they wanted enough to give it to him. Well, he was here anyway, might as well try and find out.

Entering the charming hovel of the entryway, Jade notices the Prefect’s shoes discarded next to the doorway. He certainly did not trust the floor enough to do the same.

Walking up the stairs, Jade decided that the best bet would be simply to beeline to the Prefect. He had brought his mushroom risotto along with him, thinking that you might appreciate a home-cooked meal when you were ill. The feedback he had received upon serving it in the cafeteria was quite positive from the other humans, so he was about 70% sure this particular species of fungi was not lethal to your species. Well, the ones from here at least. That is what the other 30% is for.

Rapping his knuckles lightly on the door, he heard a quiet ‘come in’ from inside the room. Jade turned the knob and let himself inside, holding up the thermos with risotto in one hand and one with peppermint tea in another.

“I apologize for the intrusion.”

“Jade?” You ask, “Wow, I think I’ve had more visitors from Octinavelle today than when you all tried to steal this place.” You graveled, weak cough shaking your body as you laugh.

Jade gives you a warm, genuine smile. His face crumples into a melodic laugh, a real one, and he covers his face to stifle the sound.

“Well, the location is still quite ideal if you ever change your mind.” He says, stepping forward to place the food he brought on your nightstand. “Food and drink, I get the feeling that you might not make some otherwise.”

You look wide-eyed at the two containers, carefully picking them up and unscrewing the caps to see the contents. Through your stuffed-up nose you could smell a hint of mint, and the risotto looked decadently buttery.

You looked to Jade, and he motioned to the attached cutlery. Taking a wary bite, your mouth was met with something both delicious, hearty, and oddly familiar. Had you had this before? Your heart skipped a beat at how tender this moment felt. Jade’s eyes looked lidded and fond while tears threatened to well up in the corners of your eyes.

“I-I really needed this, I think.” You say, your ‘D’s sounded like ‘B’s due to your stuffy nose. “Thank you very much, Jade.”

Jade nods, looking pleased. You continue eating your fill and then allow Jade to gather his dishes, promising that he will come again soon with another dish. You were fairly excited at the prospect.

Jade pauses for a moment at the door, seemingly in thought. He returns to your side, but before you can question him, you feel a warm peck at your forehead.

“Feel better.”

Jade leaves as fast as he came in. You sit there flustered and confused.

Is this just a merman thing or what?

Pray for me! I hate phlegm with my entire body, I want to die and to kill at the same time. Why hast mine own body forsaken me?

What did you think? suggestions, feedback? LMK!

Love you, reader!

Requested Tags:

@certe-cose, @readinganas, @yandere-kou, @daeda21, @sideofblog, @buckketboy, @kxhyuns, @aikochan4859, @kumiko-desu, @destinationdesignation, @star-gods, @fragmentedstarlight, @sarahyumiko2, @sappyisyourpappy, @sunnyseaside, @bunntsu, @rebel-faes-writing, @stillserene, @witch-waycult, @fr0llo, @bluesylveon2, @dari-kun, @kit4kat256, @riddle-simp, @fightmecowardlmao, @lovelynai, @chillywinterbreeze, @venniin, @acherrytart, @naniky,

[conditioned-to-obey]

Sir, gotta share with someone and was hoping it'd be okay to share this with you. I went to my first lesson at a dungeon about bdsm, and learned I really like receiving impact play, specifically floggers, paddles, and spanking on my bottom. Didn't know that before today, also curious to get tied up, never been tied before and the dungeon has a specific rigger that does stuff for newbies to bdsm.

That sounds wonderful, doll. New experiences and exploration in a safe controlled environment where you feel comfortable is worth it's weight in gold. I will always remember my first times in that regard as well. Not only doing, but being tied up as well.

Rope, Shibari, and bondage can invoke such a unique sense of calm and quiet of the mind. It's truly a beautiful art. The process of tying and maneuvering some one into various vulnerable positions and through different variations. It can be incredibly fun and intimate.

Good job being open to trying new things. Learning ones self better can only work to enhance your understanding of your own pleasure, body and safe limits.

[ingravinoveritas]

Have you seen AL's latest insta story? sure, it would even be cute... if she didn't set a trend of subtly (not so subtly) commenting on his looks.

also idk if you hadn't seen this one from November 16th:

(yes it looks like his handwriting) random thoughts:

"I think he likes me" tee-hee? Much need for validation?

gurl, going without a phone for a week? seriously? how? why?

... How did you even post, if you're phoneless? or did you wait to have one, to stage this pic?

maybe it's me, but sharing such an intimate note seems *just a bit* in bad taste.

Am I being too petty? Maybe. Whatever.

(Finally getting around to answering more Asks, so thank you all for being so patient!) @artificial-indulgence No, I don't think you are being petty at all. I'm really very tired of Anna's posts as of late, and all of the above is certainly no exception.

I think it's worth noting that she posted that picture with Bernard (and all of the pictures from her Insta story) in a separate post, because apparently she didn't get enough attention, and the picture of Michael and David was dead last in the post. Which seems fitting, given that the caption on the post was a "A weekend of vanity and insanity" and the first few pictures were of her, suggesting that she was using the picture of Michael and David to get more traction for her own pictures.

This ties into your comment, @longingtolinger-blog, because she did indeed post that story calling herself a "vain twat" just earlier in the same day as the story with the pic of Michael and David:

And I had the same thought, that it seemed as if she was trying to be self-deprecating, but it just...didn't land? It came across as awkward, mostly because vanity/being vain isn't really something to brag about. Do we all have moments of being vain? Of course. But Anna seems to be making it part of her personality, and it's just...not cute. Also, in the same way as Michael calling David his lover, you generally don't refer to yourself as a "vain twat" if you don't want people to think that you're a vain twat.

That said, I did see AL's Insta story from the 16th, and nearly three weeks later, it still doesn't make sense. As you said, how did she post this without a phone? Or, as we could infer, does this mean she got that note sometime earlier in the week, and waited at least several days just to stage this picture? Also, with two little kids around, how does it make sense for her to not even have a backup phone? We could certainly assume that she did, but the story above would suggest otherwise, since Michael had to email her (which is, for the record, about the least romantic correspondence imaginable). Let's also remember that on the 16th, Michael was still in the middle of being virulently attacked on Twitter after the events of October 30th, and Anna had plenty of opportunities to defend him. To say something like, "Michael's a great guy, he does a lot of charity work, he doesn't deserve to be attacked like this." Instead, it was all about her and what she gets from him. In fact, the week prior to the 16th, she posted another Insta story of flowers that he supposedly sent her, with that song "My Love Mine All Mine" in the story, thereby doubling down on bragging about him getting her things while saying nothing about him as an actual person.

Going back to the first story above, we know that Michael has previously been affectionately compared to the Tennants' dog Bernard (and David to their other dog, Myrtle). But as you said, given AL's history of making snarky comments about Michael's appearance, it feels a lot less affectionate and a lot more unkind coming from her. What surprised me about her Insta story the most, however, was how not surprising it was, as that story is actually not the first time Anna has "joked" about leaving Michael. And given that that seems to be an enjoyed pastime of hers, it almost seems like they would both be happier and better off if she actually did leave him.

It somehow becomes worse when we see this exchange, which took place on Twitter yesterday:

(Maybe she should get a refund, since she seems pretty unsatisfied with what she's got...)

Again, I would have no problem saying that this was just teasing or ribbing or whatever if it weren't for literally everything else in this post, plus what I've also talked about on my blog previously. But complaining about Michael like this publicly makes her come across as so damn rude and ungrateful. Contrast this with David "complaining" about Michael and it only makes the difference even more stark: That with David, there's a mutual respect and affection and reciprocation, which we do not at all ever see Michael do with her. And I can't help but think that if their relationship is as great as she would like everyone to believe, she wouldn't be on Twitter going back and forth with fans just to get that validation, as you mentioned.

Those are pretty much my thoughts on AL's posts/stories from the last month. It's interesting to me that more people seem to be noticing the weirdness of all this, and I appreciate both of you writing in. And as always, glad to hear from my followers about what you all think...

[glitterguts13]

Do you have any favourite of hcs (any kind) of aventurine?

Oh, I have so much to say about Aventurine it's not even funny, so here comes a jumbled mix of thoughts.

TW: topics of slavery, self-harm, sexual abuse, and suicidal ideation. Please read with caution!

Aventurine struggles with genuine physical and emotional intimacy. Having been used, abused, and tortured all this life, mentally, sexually, and physically, he's grown to learn that people are to be kept at arm's length the whole time.

Because of this, Aventurine became very hyper-sexual to deal with the trauma. To him, if he starts it and stays in control, he can't be hurt. This isn't true at all, but it's the only way he knows how to handle people who start getting touchy with him because saying 'no' never worked in the past.

If someone does manage to break down his walls and form a genuine emotional bond with him...he really doesn't know what to do. He showers his partners with gifts and money, is extremely sex driven, and doesn't have any consideration for his own well-being. He's so worried about losing them, that he gives too much.

Aventurine doesn't know how to ask for things he wants. In the sense, he doesn't know how to say "Please, just hold my hand." or "Will you brush my hair?" These simple little acts of love that he desperately craves, but can't ask for because he's worried he's being needy.

For fucks sake just hold this man and remind him that his worth isn't tied to his wealth or his body.

The hand that trembles, hold it tightly and press it to your lips. He'll fall to pieces.

Aventurine is torn between desperately wanting a family and being terrified of having one. He wants a partner, children, and a home to come back to that's filled with love, warmth, and laughter...but he knows how quickly he could lose it, and just how big a target is painted on his back. It keeps him up at night, debating back and forth on if he should pursue his desire or leave it to rot like the rest of his dreams.

Topaz is the closest thing to a 'friend' he has inside of the IPC. While they're hardly besties, she's at least someone he can relax around and share a few drinks with. She's not given him any reason to distrust her, but I don't think he would ever fully rely on her either.

Has played his fair share of Russian Roulette, and leaves disappointed each time he wins.

Also, are we all just going to ignore that little tidbit where they mention he was strapped to an electric chair?? I can't even begin to imagine how that fucked him up both mentally and physically.

That being said, Aventurine has a lot of self-harm and pain-seeking tendencies. I won't go into details, but when he gets low, his mind begins to spiral and he has to find something to snap him out of it or else it just gets worse and worse until he's ready to make sure that gun is fully loaded.

He's grown better about it over the years, but he will never fully be able to heal and recover. Especially not as long as he's in the hands of the IPC. Ratio is the only one who catches wind of Aventurine's self-harming tendencies, but he doesn't have a clue on how to help him, so he keeps quiet.

The brand on his neck is a source of contention. He has the money to have it removed and covered up. He hates to see it, but in the same breath, he's almost afraid to lose it. If he does, will he lose sight of his past? Where he came from? He isn't ashamed of his past, but he also doesn't like the very clear reminder of it either. Jade makes passion comments on it often, and it makes his stomach twist everytime.

Donates obscene amounts of money to children in need. He will never let a child suffer, and while he clearly can't dismantle the entire fucked up system set in place, he's bought the contracts of many child slaves and freed them anonymously. He wants to save them all, but it just isn't possible, and it's one more thing that keeps him awake at night.

[turtleneck-crowley]

Wake up babes of the GO fandom turtleneck-crowley just dropped their most recent Magnus Opus🥰🥰🥰

Hey guys I am a eccentric genius artist of the century whose works will probably only be appreciated post mortem (self-diagnosed)

Im also very certain you would all blorbos me if I were a fictional character but alas I am a boring meat package that got birthed out of an afab physiology and thus a sack of mouldy potatoes might have been a more interesting source writing this post. (Pure hubris, part irrational resentment that you are all quite familiar with *cheeky hot wink*)

I happen to own a get out of jail free card called catch 22 which is crafted out of part sarcasm, part idgasinglefgtfoofmyfacei180dmycringethroughyearsofpainandselfrelctionthatim toocoolforyounow public image

(if you actually read that you deserve, well nothing actually except perhaps my condolences and a consensual pat on the back that implies my unlicensed diagnosis that you are in fact, not dyslexic)

Anyhow cracking on back to the sentence *sighs and rolls eyes with you*

(-I mean in the streets, not with you guys, here im babygirl with half a brain cell/true form), part wholesome idiocy, years of experience in masking, part looking presentable, part knowing how society and science and art works and trying to be in tact with my own sense of humanity as much as possible -at least to the point where I’m not breaking any humanitarian law…

And yes bitch the whole eccentric genius /madly passionate or passionately mad paradox catch 22 license holder is you af - want a gold star? ⭐️ (crowley ref) (affectionate banter)

Fact is tumblrinas like to heighten and balance their EQ and IQ agreed?

I’m hyper aware that you guys are smart enough to assess me as going through a manic phase that is on the verge of psychotic-having observed hints of madness in my recent posts deducing via your own experiences that I have gone through a strict diet of coffee, whiskey, smut that Neil Gaiman himself would tear his locks and Sir Terry Pratchett would roll in his grave, finished off with a nice slice of Hozier songs as dessert

(that’s on top of of a yet to be discovered food chain which I call the Antichrist diet footnote: please credit me after I die before my Tesla gets Edisoned

‘Tis actually a great alternative way to invoke a psychedelic experience in substitute of the more expensive and questionably unlawful way that is smoking crack *disclaimer not recommended for the faint hearted or those self-diagnosed as mentally stable)

You are perfectly correct! Here’s another gold star!!! ⭐️

In fact I am currently being yelled by my parents to come downstairs because I need to be dropped off to the asylum while I’m trying to actually do something that gives me joy (Joan of Arc eat your heart out) and I assure you I have eyes and witness my very legs , naked and hairy (and did I mention Im only wearing a slutty black bra and skirt that I wore as a swimming suit AND a pajama and now my back to the looney bin outfit?) leaving a perfectly good soup with baguettes as evidenced here

However, I would like to UNO reverse such a caring notion by giving you a purple heart 💜

and divert you with a fun little clip that displays our para social relationship that I am hoping has deepened through my superficial charm to portray our rendezvous as warm and familiar and human as our beloved Mr. Holmes and Doctor Watson:

No worries, Watson also came with the conslusion that the person he’s engaged with (more like to amiright- not us i mean, them, that’s where the analogy is cut off back into our real identities) is “not human”

Anyhow it might not be your cup of tea but at least hold the mug for a few minutes it’s worth it

Head fic: Gods of Sex and Idiocy

(If anything please see it as a game where we can title it better cause I’m shit at naming things - I call one of my plants Joe)

Hey Good Omens fandom

With the note of:

“who needs sane when you have creative”

-turtleneck-crowley

I have made a meta season 3 in my head and the stars have even sent me a playlist ??? (It’s the only one that seems to be downloaded on my wifi less phone)

Here’s the link:

Check out some of my latest posts

It’s really immersive and otherworldly

Down the rabbit hole and through the mirror you go 🐇🎩🪄

And what if season 1 is the ace route and season 2 is the sexual route so season 3 might be an aro route to defeating the enemy?

Ngk idk idc idgaf

I’m just like phone rn

(side note: why do I have the infinite capacity of taking pains (Sherlock reference) for being a mad artist instead of working on the next big physics formula answer? Good question: I’m actually just an emotional idiot aka sexy trash ✨ that’s addicted to blogging and I wouldn’t trade it for any other praise worthy status in the world 💜)

Honestly guys I sound like a sociopath but I’m really just very pained and fucked royally by circumstance that is too dramatic and gay for anyone except the loonies on tumblr to understand. I’m so disappointed by all this unjust pain and agony of the world- the children, the animals, the environment, the people that I have conditioned myself to display an eloquence so pungent it seems like I’m a cold manipulator. For if I ever showed myself for who I was to them- the judgers, the perverted, the scheming, I would surely be dead either by my own or someone else’s hands. Maybe I’m God and they just like tumblr and good omens and want to eat crepes in peace with the personality they split into 2 -preferably in Paris. Maybe they have been placed all the blame by the enemy and they are powerless to the human condition as you all are by an unknown enemy and is fated to be tortured in anxiety and pain invisible to all and the only infinite power they have is love that bleeds.

But I’ll give you and I both the peace of mind that I am an in fact just a mentally ill human whose life span is between the zones of expiration and fermentation, with a god complex, whom their closest people will never truly know how to care no matter how much they try- and in fact the more they try to help me the more they leave me in my original state- alone.

I leave you (no I’m not killing myself you idiot I’m going to the mental hospital to be molested by nightmares of demons - I literally experience it everyday- as they force me to take my sleeping pills which sinks me deeper into it-oh wait that’s kind of worse lmao) with this favorite piece of classical music of mine

Stay safe yall I love you

[chaotic-archaeologist]

hey reid, hope you don't mind if i come for some advice, i love your blog and it has motivated me to pursue my academic goals.

i'm currently in my first semester of my graduate program and while i like my peers, professors and everything i can't help but feel crushingly depressed and alone lol. i'm managing grad work fine (i think) but my advisor will check in on how i'm doing overall and i don't think i can really say i've mentally been in a bad place if it's even relevant to bring up. i don't want it to get to the point of it affecting my work, though i don't want to be dishonest.

Okay, so the good news and the bad news is that what you're experiencing is a totally normal part of grad school. Everyone goes through this to a certain degree. You've just moved to a new place and started a massively imposing endeavor—it makes sense that you're lonely and depressed. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.

Also, you said it yourself: you're in your first semester of your graduate program! Nobody is expecting you to have done anything monumental yet. Walk before you try to run. If you can go to a conference and apply for some funding by the end of the year, I would call that a win.

I bet you're probably used to being in the top of your undergraduate classes, and now in grad school you're thrown in with a bunch of other people who were also overachievers. It's intimidating. There's the temptation to look around at your peers and feel inadequate. Do not let yourself do this. That way, madness lies. I guarantee you that everyone else around you is feeling a similar panic about what they haven't done.

I would actually encourage you to talk with your advisor. You don't have to open up about your feelings. Instead, frame it around what you hope to accomplish, and check to see if they think that's reasonable. Last year around this time (when I was in my first semester) I sat down my advisor and we sketched out a rough two year plan. That included what classes I was going to take each semester, how I would spend my time in the summer, and opportunities I wanted to go after. If that kind of structure might help you, definitely do something similar.

Now here's my one piece of absolutely critical advice: you must find something that affirms your sense of self your outside of school. For me, it's volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters. One of my friends takes dance classes. Another does community organizing. Cooking. Roller derby. Anything that you can enjoy. The benefits to these sorts of activities are twofold.

First, they give you something to feel good about even when you're struggling academically. If your whole life is tied up in one thing, it can feel like the end of the world when you hit a rough patch. Spread your eggs out into other baskets. This is a form of self care.

Second, these activities introduce you to other people. A big part of making friends is just showing up at the same place as other people, and continuing to spend time with them. Grad school makes that difficult, but I promise you, your life will be so much better if you carve out some time for yourself.

Doing things with other students is also good! I took a bunch of my cohort to hockey games last year, and I'm planning on doing the same thing again. It can be a craft night, or a potluck—whatever you want. Build up some camaraderie! You don't have to be best friends with your fellow students, but it helps to have a friendly face around the department.

The thing about grad school is that you gotta spark your own joy, otherwise it'll eat you alive. Pull your nose back from the grindstone, take a breath, and do something to remind yourself that the world is beautiful and life is worth living.

-Reid

[rageagainstmymachine]

Kinktober 2023 | Edward Richtofen/ F! Reader | Fic 8

Self Pleasure

Words: 3,454

Tags: Masturbation, assisted masturbation, cum drinking

The fight was rough today. Being in the freezing alps of Austria did nothing to help your skills, and the food situation was keeping you on edge. You've been surviving on some deer meat Dempsey was able to kill, but the meat was running low, and so rations have been smaller and more spread out for a few days now. You were hungry.

The thought of what would y'all do if worse comes to worst has crossed your mind, you won't lie, you've thought about who would be tastiest to eat. It was a fleeting thought, you promise, and you really haven't given it much thought...

but it would probably be Nikolai. Big man means more meat. Tender meat too, if it’s grilled like a brisket. But, he would be harder to kill, he would give you a good fight. They all would, they're soldiers... except Edward. He's not a soldier. Not as much meat there but Dempsey and Nikolai could overpower him... Now would he be tasty?

"Dempsey, if you had to eat someone-"

"Probably you." The marine answered before you could get the entire question out.

You crossed your arms, giving him a baffled look. "Me? Why me?"

"You're weak as hell compared to the rest of us. Easy kill." Dempsey said, smirking at your annoyed face.

You huffed and readjusted your crossed arms, looking away from him. "I'm not that weak." You're not mad that he's thought about it, because you have too. You're just annoyed that he has the audacity to not lie to your face.

"You wouldn't get as much meat from me than you would from Nikolai." You argued, trying to save yourself in this scenario. "Wouldn't the fight be worth it if it meant more meat?"

"Yeah but I could take you down in a heartbeat. I wouldn't want to risk getting tired out."

"I'm not THAT weak!"

"Whatever you say, sweetheart."

"What if we team up and eat Edward?" You say, looking over at your lover, who is currently looking through the window of the castle, staring off into the distance. "I'm sure he would forgive me."

Dempsey didn't even have to think before he furiously shook his head, a grimace finding his face. "Hell no! His meat is probably cursed or something. With all the voodoo that follows him I wouldn't be surprised." He said, before giving a look over to the scientist, eyebrows still furrowed. "I'm afraid if I even consume a bite of him I would turn into him."

"That's ridiculous." You laughed. "He's not contagious."

"We don't know that!" He pointed at you, narrowing his eyes.

"Fine. We're eating Nikolai then."

Just as you finalized it, the main doors slammed open, getting your attention. Speak of the devil. The Russian had been gone for a few hours, and you had wondered what he had been up to, but now it seemed that he was back, and was carrying something.

"We shall feast!" He yelled, happily. He was holding a large deer carcass across both shoulders, as well as two rabbits and a whole chicken tied to his belt. It only made sense that the man who grew up in these conditions would have a better time finding food in the snowy mountains than the rest of you, and with Nikolai's skills, the amount of food that the deer and the rabbits would provide should keep you fed for a good while.

Dempsey turned to you, a pointed glare on his face. "This is why we are eating you and not Nikolai. He's actually useful." Dempsey got up and walked with Nikolai outside, no doubt to help skin the animals. You happily jumped up to get the cooking supplies ready.

You were whistling a tune as you got the firepit ready, going outside to get firewood wasn't pleasant with the nipping cold but at this point you couldn't care less. You were going to get a filling hot meal! You shuffled in, carrying a few pieces of firewood, chastising yourself that you couldn't carry more at a time. Damn, maybe you were as weak as Dempsey said...

"Here let me take these." Edward offered, taking the pile from your arms and walking them to the firepit. He waved at you to stay there while he went outside to get more wood, able to carry much more than you. In the meantime you got the pot and filled it with snow, intending to boil it down to sterilized water to make the stew with. You only had a few cans left of vegetables, but this was better than nothing, and the meat would be the real star of this show.

As you waited for the water to boil, Edward came back in with another armful of firewood, stacking them into a pile by the pit. "I think that's enough, yes?" He asked, hands on his hips as he looked at the wood.

"Looks like it." You smile, watching as the small flames devoured more and more wood under the pot. "I'm really glad Nikolai was able to come in clutch like this. I was getting so delirious from hunger I was contemplating how you would taste."

Edward gave a light chuckle, shaking his head in amusement. "I would be offended if I didn't have the same thought about you."

You looked at him, feigning hurt. "So everyone's first cannibalistic choice is me? Unbelievable..." You mutter, hiding your smile by becoming too interested in the slowly melting snow. "I now know to keep an eye on you and Dempsey if we start running out of food again."

"Mein liebe, it was only a fleeting thought, truly the better meal would be Nikolai." Edward reasoned, smiling as you shook your head. He then cocked his eye at you, thinking more of what you just said. "Dempsey thought about eating you?"

"I mean, he wasn't foaming at the mouth about it, but I did ask who he would eat if it came to it... tried to get him on my side to agree we eat you but, no dice." You explained, chuckling at the end.

"oh ja? I assumed he would jump at the chance to kill me. Why am I not the first choice?"

"He's scared that your meat is cursed and he'll turn into you." You say, laughing.

Edward rolls his eyes, a smirk on his face. "Gut, let him think that if it keeps me safe from his grubby little fingers." He grimaced. Edward grabbed one can from the table and grabbed his pocket knife, using the can opener on it. "How come Dempsey und Takeo are safe from being eaten? You didn't mention eating either of them."

"Dempsey because one bite of him would probably clog all of my arteries and Takeo because I'm afraid the emperor himself will show up and... I don't know, make me atone for my sins or something." You say idly, stirring the half melted snow to hurry along the process. "Also I am not going to fuck around and find out with a samurai." You added, making a gesture with your free hand, as if swinging a sword. 

"Well lucky our gut und gracious Nikolai has fetched us some food. So we should not have to worry about it, ja?" Edward says. "Also I cannot stand to see Takeo silently starve another day. I respect him, aber... there is truly something wrong with that man. I have not heard him complain once. Es ist unnerving."

Edward was really one to talk, he would definitely be crowed man with most wrong with him if there was a vote. But, you couldn't deny the point he was making, the Japanese man had yet to show any sign of distress from the lack of food. You have seen him take the smallest portions without a word, and eat them silently, no sign of any emotion. Still, it was funny to hear Richtofen call someone else unnerving.

Soon enough, Nikolai and Dempsey were back with a pile of skinned and cleaned meat, as well as some organs that were also edible. Nikolai was visibly happy that some of the innards could be cooked and eaten too. With all the meat and organs, the stew would be plentiful.

The meat, innards and giblets were soon in the pot, and later on the vegetables. You used the last of the seasoning you have been hoarding on this meal, determined to truly feast like Nikolai exclaimed. It was unfortunate that you didn't have fresh coffee grounds, though. After much debating, Dempsey settling on using the already used grounds once more because it was better than nothing. It made weak coffee, but at least you could faintly tell you were drinking coffee.

It wasn't long after when the food was finished, and the group was gathered around the fire, each having a bowl in their hands and a spoon in the other. None of you had any manners as you wolfed down the warm, delicious meat, savoring every bite. You had never tasted anything so amazing in your life, it was truly heavenly. Even Takeo ate with less decorum than normal, the delicious meat must have taken over his senses.

After you were done eating, the bowls were left to the side as the group lounged by the fire, stomachs full and bodies warmed by the flames. You were laying against Edward's shoulder, the German's arm resting over yours, and his hand playing with the hem of your sleeve. One by one, the group started to retire to the rooms and nooks they've claimed, leaving you alone to clean up. You didn't mind, it gave you time to relax alone. Edward had tried to coax you to bed, but you told him to go ahead without you.

You felt tired and accomplished once everything was cleaned, and all the food was put away. You had placed the remaining meat outside so it would be preserved and kept. Dempsey would probably make jerky out of most of it tomorrow. You were humming a tune, looking at the stars as you made your way back inside, the warmth of the castle welcoming you as you closed the door.

You walked through the hallways, looking up at the paintings and artifacts that were on display. It was a shame that most of it was damaged, Richtofen had told you a lot of this castle and how he had been there before when he was a less important scientist. Now the paintings were ripped, the furniture was ruined and the entire place cold and barren, a stark difference from what he had described.

You made your way to the room Richtofen had claimed, a room he had mentioned belonged to Samantha many years ago. He had wished to be in the room he once stayed in, but with the damage the walls have suffered and the zero privacy, he had deemed the room unfit to sleep in. He had worked on fixing makeshift doors in the open doorways, and at this moment you were grateful for his craving for privacy. You felt the same way.

You opened the door as quietly as you could, hoping not to disturb your lover. The room was dark, the only light coming from a burning candle on the desk opposite from the bed. Edward was laying already - you could barely make him out, but it was him. He was on his back; small, curious noises escaped him as something rhythmically moved under the cover of darkness. You couldn't help but smirk, closing the door behind you, the click of the handle making the German jump slightly. He quickly snapped his eyes over to you, pulling the blanket over his lap. It was obvious he was doing exactly what you thought he was doing.

"And you didn't even wait for me?" You ask, crossing your arms. The alarm was still painted on his face, morphing into embarrassment.

"Scheiße..." Richtofen muttered, turning his head away from you. " I didn't know how long you were going to take."

Edward's face was flushed, you could tell even in the low light. His grip on the blanket tightened, as if he wanted to pull it off of himself but was fighting the urge, while his other hand was under the blanket, and you were willing to bet a lot that it was wrapped around his cock. He was breathing hard, and he looked so pretty in this light. He seemed to squirm in your silence, finding the need to fill it himself.

"I've been so stressed lately, so... tense. Haven't had any... release in days because of the food situation. Didn't want to use more energy than necessary..." He admitted, the grip on the blanket relaxing.

You hummed, taking a step forward, a smile forming on your face. "You must be really pent up then. What were you thinking about?"

Richtofen licked his lips, turning his head back to you, his eyes meeting yours. "Du. Always you." He said, his voice almost sounding needy.

You found you way over to the bed, crawling onto the soft mattress next to him, placing a hand on his clothed chest. "Is that so?"

Edward nodded, his hand still under the covers, unmoving.

You leaned down and placed a kiss to his lips, his body instinctively moving closer to you. You could feel the tension in his shoulders as you trailed a hand over them, your hand going to the back of his neck, keeping him in place as you deepened the kiss, his tongue finding yours. You pulled back and he followed, a whine leaving him.

"Why don't you give me a little show?" You whispered, your breath tickling his ear.

Edward groaned at the suggestion. A suggestion in which you knew drove him wild. Little bits and pieces of his desires would come to light each time you made love to him, you had figured he had some exhibitionist traits, but this is what confirmed it. He wanted to be watched, and you would indulge him.

He slowly lifted the covers off of himself, revealing his erection. His pants were shoved down just to his mid thighs, His button up twisted to the side as evidence of his hurried actions. He was gripping his cock, the tip flushed red, precum glistening from the candle light. You bit your lip, looking back up to meet his eyes, his expression lustful. You could see it much better now that your eyes have adjusted to the low light.

Edward slowly moved his hand up his shaft, his fingers squeezing lightly, a quiet gasp escaping him. He was slow, dragging out the motions, his hips bucking every now and then, wanting more. His eyes stayed on you, not once breaking contact.

You placed a hand on his thigh, running it up his leg, your hand wrapping around his, guiding it along his cock. You squeezed tighter, adjusting his grip. Edward was biting his lip, small moans escaping him with every stroke. He let you control his actions, his hand all but limp as you basically used it as a toy to stroke him with. He was beautiful like this, and he was yours.

You stroked him a few more times like this, teasing him with his own hand. His calloused fingers weren’t the same as your smooth ones, but you controlling him was almost as good. Almost.

"Show me how you like to be touched." You whisper, letting your hand fall away. "How do you please yourself when I'm not around?"

Richtofen swallowed a groan, his hips rocking as his hand worked his cock. He twisted his wrist each time he got to the head, his thumb pressing against his slit. His breathing was ragged, and his body was writhing, his legs trembling. His free hand fisted the sheets, gripping them tight.

"You fuck yourself so well, herr doctor" You cooed, kissing the side of his neck, biting his collarbone, the skin not hidden by his collar. He was making such lovely sounds, and the noises he was making were making you ache between your legs. "Now tell me what you fantasize about." You demand, wanting to know and see every little detail.

"Ich..." He breathed, his voice shaky and low. He was getting close, and you couldn't have that.

"Stop." You demanded, taking his wrist and pulling his hand off of his cock. Edward made a pitiful whine, his hips bucking in search of any friction, but finding none. You could see his eyes were glassy and half lidded, his pupils blown wide, a pleading look on his face. "Use your other hand." You instructed, letting go of the limb.

He looked at his left hand timidly, he was unpracticed with that hand, his right being his go-to. "But..." He started, his fingers flexing as if he were thinking about what he could possibly do.

"It's either that hand, or no hands at all." You warned. "I won't repeat myself again, Richtofen."

Edward nodded, moving his left hand to his cock, his fingers curling around the base, slowly dragging it up. It felt wrong, uncoordinated. He let his fingers tease the tip, a shiver running through his body, his legs twitching. He could only imagine how awkward he looked. It's like he couldn't get a good grip. It was infuriating- exactly what you wanted.

"You look frustrated." You commented, watching as his movements were jerky and unsure. He could hear the teasing tone in your voice.

"Scheiße, it feels wrong." He admitted, his cock twitching against his fingers, his hips bucking.

"You poor thing. Fine. I'll help." Your hand once again wrap around his, helping him pump his shaft. With your help it was much more pleasurable, the rhythm was set, his hips rolling with it. He was letting out a moan each time the head of his cock was rubbed.

"Does that feel good?" You whisper in his ear, moving your hand from his to solely focus on the tip. Your thumb stroked fast, tight circles against his frenulum, the action making him cry out and his back arch. You loved hearing the noises he was making. He was so desperate. The only words he could get out were strings of German curses and your name. He was close, you could tell.

"Are you going to cum? Are you going to spill over my hand, make a mess of yourself?" You ask, feeling the throb of his cock.

Edward couldn't speak, he was panting, his voice too strained, his mind hazy. He was too fucked out. He could only nod, his legs shaking as he thrust his hips up, wanting more. His left hand worked the base of his shaft, with messier strokes than you've seen thus far. He was a complete wreck, and he looked absolutely gorgeous.

"Then cum for me." You say, moving down his body, "Let me eat you right up." You wrapped your mouth around the tip of his cock, sucking on it, your tongue teasing the slit, flicking over the sensitive flesh.

That was all it took. With a strangled cry, Edward's body went rigid, his hips bucking upwards into the warmth of your mouth, the muscles in his legs spasming as he came, his cum spilling over your tongue. You moaned, taking everything he gave you. His hips were bucking as his orgasm ran its course, the hand on his cock pumping himself through his release. He filled your mouth, and you swallowed every drop, not spilling a single thing.

Edward's body went slack against the mattress, his breathing hard and shallow, his eyes fluttering closed. He was completely exhausted, and you could tell. He was covered in sweat, his hair disheveled and stuck to his forehead. The German was a sight for sore eyes, and you couldn't help but kiss him. He kissed back, his arms weakly wrapping around you, his lips lazily moving against yours. It was slow, and full of passion.

You pulled back, looking down at him, his eyes slowly opening, a lazy smile on his face.

"I'm so glad I got to feast today." You tell him, the double meaning hanging in the air.

“I couldn’t let my frauchen go hungry.” He murmured. His breathing was slow and even, any and all stress leaving his body. He weakly pulled you to his chest, kissing the top of your head. "Lieb' dich." He mumbled, already falling asleep.

"I love you too." You whispered back, knowing he probably didn't hear you. The candle burned out, the room was now bathed in darkness, the only sound was the howling wind outside.

You were happy.

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

I think my biggest complaint about the series, Fionna and Cake, was that up till episode 8, they were doing a pretty good job of laying out all the pieces, but then!

it just completely misses one of the problems it does a pretty good job of laying out. it points out that Simon is inattentive - blind. But Simon's not blind because he doesn't care! Simon's blind because he cares too much - he's quick to jump to conclusions - he's trapped in his own head! no crown required

ive said it before and ill say it again: he romanticizes his past so he makes his present look hopeless, he cant talk to Marcy because he just believes that his troubles aren't worth her attention - he's unable to see past his own opinions to like maybe think, Marcy loves him and would love to help him, that his opinion of being a burden is not in fact a shared opinion - its not a fact, period

it's not a matter of "think of Marcy" as in do it for her sake, it's a matter of "think of Marcy" as in would she really say that or are you putting words in her mouth - like simon, maybe your mental image of Marcy's a little OOC, bud

it shares a root with Simon thinking everything is great with Betty when it wasnt, Simon thinking everything is awful when it doesnt have to be

Which never gets addressed! By pointing out his blindness, we only got to one half of the problem!

The series just never ties up what it started

Here's Winter King, where Simon gets a good look of himself from the outside view, and see how his myopic perspective can be taken to dreadful extremes

And then, we see the love story from Simon's perspective and we notice Fionna pointing out all of Simon's blindspots

and then! He just... He never connects the dots. that maybe hes a little... self absorbed and his self loathing is masquerading as sense and logic when its not! its just self loathing! Even worse, he never even starts to, and it doesnt get included in the big spoonfeeding at the end of the series!!

which just reveals bigger faults within the story!!

Like, never giving Simon space to reflect explodes in the audience's faces when the story has to infodump at the last second!

that reveals that they should have started simon's journey to realization earlier especially when thr narrative already put the pieces there! Now its so obviois that any time he could have been spent spinning his little mental wheel, he spent trying to survive his road trip across the multiverse

it did his character disservice because by pushing all of his ability to reflect in a single episode, and spamming the exposition, it made simon look real stupid, and moreover never explores the issue fully!

everything casper and nova said could have been said earlier and better and not in the form of a kid's story, because by simplifying the issue - or dumbing it down - then the issue's nuances and complexities get lost in translation

yeah, thats very easy to misinterpret actually!!! especially when casper and nova doesnt even cover the whole problem!! (and look i get it, some audiences need it to be spelled out but really, a children's choose your own adventure??? that was the narrative tool to use here??)

[illegiblewords]

Discussing the sex lives of wizards in the name of psychology under the cut! BG3, warning for discussion of suicide and mental health issues.

Man, analysis of Gale’s sex scene keeps getting waved under my nose with the notion that if you don’t go with Weave you’ve done something wrong. I addressed it already but like.

1) One of the popular arguments is that Gale is magic, magic is Gale, you might as well forbid an artist from painting. One could argue that particular mentality is a huge part of why Gale having issues. I said it before but like—speaking from having been there IRL with writing and editing. As a creative, you don’t lose your entire medium if you take time to focus on acknowledging your self-worth and those who love you without the medium. It’s actually insanely important to be able to do that imo. Not making the first sexual encounter be through magic doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen or is an inferior thing generally. I think emphasizing it as a first encounter and not a last one is a huge deal. It’s also a big step beyond what Gale expects for himself at that point.

The reality Gale had resigned himself to, that he was terrified of, involved obeying Mystra even if she ordered him to kill himself. Her love and his worth are conditional upon how well he can please her. Gale’s ‘comfort zone’ of performing acts of service specifically to retain worth is actively harmful to him and is part of what he was conditioned to accept through abuse. Even in Act III he can struggle with the idea that he is not defined by Mystra’s expectations of him. Like Shadowheart, stepping into choices beyond the will of his goddess is almost unfathomable. It’s still really important to recognize there are other possibilities.

2) There’s a dev note about Gale bowing to the player’s preference if the player opts for non-magical sex. I want to pose for your consideration as a comparison—is it better to farm Astarion’s approval by staying in his comfort zone/sense of the familiar (cruelty, violence) when those things are maladaptive? It comes out a lot through the game that an overwhelming amount of his behavior ties to coping mechanisms that helped him survive with Cazador, but it’s extremely unhealthy outside of that scenario.

All of the companions have trauma caused by abuse. All of them have some measure of mental health issues at work tied to that. And the thing with mental illness linked to trauma is, that person’s brain is doing the best it can to protect them from threats. When the threat is no longer present and they have room to seek health + stability, those coping mechanisms may become a hindrance instead. For Gale, he’s struggled with severe isolation and self-esteem problems to the point that he’s convinced that without magic or unique acts of service he shouldn’t be alive. Mystra has reinforced this. I pose the threat to him (by his perception) has been worthlessness and abandonment. His defense became to make himself irreplaceably valuable through his abilities so he has a concrete defense against those threats. Gale is still learning to adapt to healthy relationships that aren’t with Mystra, where he isn’t being framed as expendable.

Another thing I want to raise for consideration is that there’s a pattern common to people preparing to kill themselves. This involves wrapping up unfinished business, giving away belongings, basically saying good-bye. Gale starts the ‘last night’ scene with that exact intent and mindset. He is planning to die. A player insisting against suicide is not wronging Gale. A player interacting with Gale outside his trauma to offer a different, more stable lifeline than ‘worth through abilities and offerings’ is not doing him a disservice.

Change and recovery can both be fucking scary. You literally have to challenge the way you look at the world, yourself, and other people. For a while you lose all sense of how to judge in that new context. There’s no guarantee the attempt to change will pay off. The idea of trying and failing is scary as hell under those circumstances too because it risks finding hope only for it to be destroyed again. That hurts more than if you've already given up and are braced for further harm.

It’s still important to try though. Living in despair is pretty horrific. I’ll go a step further too to say feeding someone’s mental illness can be a form of abuse. I don’t think taking the Weave-sex option is abusive, but there is some risk of encouraging harmful complexes for Gale depending on interpretation.

The player seeing Gale’s tower, his books, Waterdeep—those are still beautiful things. But he presents them when and how he does because he’s planning to kill himself. I’d argue Gale offers to give as much as he knows how, as well as he knows how, specifically because he’s planning to kill himself. He wants to give the best of himself and his life to his love before he dies. He wants that to mean something to his love. Insisting that suicide is not on the table and that the sex scene is a first time rather than a last is still alien territory for Gale because of how much his sense of possibility has been narrowed. It also involves a radically different perception of relationships for Gale if they aren’t rooted in magic. Of course he’s nervous. What if his partner changes their mind? What if they’re disappointed? What if he says or does the wrong thing? What if he’s clumsy? What if he doesn’t make the encounter everything he wants to say and do only to kill himself after all? What if Gale Dekarios (not Gale of Waterdeep) slips from the world unmourned? What if his only legacy is how he died?

But again, Gale’s partner can insist this isn’t a last encounter. It’s a first. He doesn’t have to do everything right now. He doesn’t have to be running out of time the way he’s believed for over a year.

And by-the-by, sometimes partners do try new things together. Sometimes that involves trepidation. Being nervous isn’t mutually exclusive with consent or even having a good time. Sometimes having existing habits and mentalities challenged can result in growth, improved well-being, and finding new stuff to enjoy. Just gotta be mindful.

Again, Gale’s coping mechanism against the threat of abandonment is acquiring value in what he can uniquely give others. I would argue that for the physical sex scene in particular, there’s an opportunity to give to him instead. This would likely be somewhat beyond his experience and comfort zone given he was expected to impress his goddess through offerings before. Gale has a real fear of being deemed replaceable and discarded if he has nothing unique to provide. Positioned as someone being offered to is foreign for him. And doing it on mundane terms, not as the wizard of Waterdeep but as just Gale—that’s also foreign. Doesn’t make it a bad thing though. Imo it really is a good first step.

3) I’ve seen people get pissed about how the game can imply Gale isn’t great at physical sex. Between the books he reads and his relationship with Mystra, I’m going to suggest it’s possible Mystra was solely dealing with Gale on her terms, in the Weave, non-physically. And I’m also going to suggest that Gale has wanted to do more physically but felt like it was a dirty, ungrateful, mortal thing to want from his goddess. Would explain why he’s not as confident there. The fact that he has a book full of physical sex acts only to leave bodies behind just adds to my suspicion that while he knows he’s very good at Weave-sex, there’s a lot he never got to explore with Mystra regardless of his own interest.

I also really, really think it’s okay if Gale is less experienced with physical sex. No one is born knowing everything. Being able to engage in a safe way (so partner not being an ass about it lol), try new things, and become more familiar through practice could be sweet. No pressure, his partner wants to share this with him. Guy’s clearly a fast and enthusiastic learner anyway. 😉

I’d like to think Gale gets to deal with weird body sounds or moving inelegantly only to find it’s okay to laugh about that stuff. There’s less pressure. He can do things like boop his partner’s nose or make them reach to kiss him. Sex doesn’t always have to be some immaculate, serious affair. It isn’t his last chance. He isn’t being abandoned. He’s personally valued in this relationship.

Characters can have clumsy but heartfelt sex. Characters can have clumsy but charged fight scenes too. Areas of imperfection are part of being alive and there’s room to examine that in storytelling. Not everything needs to be expertly choreographed.

As one last thing, like… the sense I’m getting between discussions is that there’s some conversion contest stuff going on. Trying to put down one sex scene to justify the other schtick. Maybe I fueled that accidentally, dunno. I think some of it probably comes down to different interpretations of characters between fans. For my interpretation, I don’t think Weave-sex would work thematically. Another person’s interpretation might be a different story altogether.

Part of what makes Baldur’s Gate 3 cool imo is how varied the stories that come out of it can be. Which is to say nothing for fans bringing different spins. I might not go with God-Gale and see that iteration as tragic/unheathy. Somebody else might think it’s poetic justice since Mystra is a former mortal who ascended to godhood herself, and God-Gale realizes he is no less worthy than her. There is mutability here imo and I hope this can clarify I really do mean it on varied reads.

[trashendence]

i’ve seen people arguing that s5 buddie distance™ has come back in full force in ‘animal instincts’ but i wholeheartedly disagree. sure, s5 buddie was mainly about eddie dealing with his problems by distancing himself from the people in his life and his breakdown arc was foreshadowed in the very first episodes of the season, just like buck’s is now but. buck’s spiralling will play out in a completely different way this season.

for starters, they have recent history of helping each other through a crisis that is not physical in nature - outside of work and over extended periods of time -, and that’s not just a small, insignificant detail because it’ll explore buck’s insecurities, his lacking sense of worth and the amount of help he feels like he deserves in exchange for what he did for eddie. it’s fucked up but it’s how his brain will operate and eddie will shut it down immediately - “you act like you’re expendable, but you’re wrong” -.

the trauma buck will go through, then, was already brought up in s4, when eddie tried talking him through it and offered his support; he’s familiar with this side of buck’s psyche and it’s irremediably connected to him now.

everything ‘eddie and buck’-related in this episode spoke of closeness: eddie asking buck about chris, ramon as a parental figure trying to be better for his son, the very theme of being a parent to someone who’s growing outside of your control…it was a lot and, somehow, it’s still not the most obvious of foreshadowings. we see buck starting to Go Through It in three main instances: when he’s just been asked to be the donor and he sits in complete silence at the station, when he grabs the bike and goes after chim, and when he gets drunk with hen in the middle of the day. and each and every single time eddie is directly involved: he’s the one to notice buck is uncharacteristically silent, he’s the one yelling after him, demanding to know where the hell buck is going, and then - when nothing called for eddie to know - bobby and hen put each other on speaker and while not talking directly, buck and eddie are once again tied together. now eddie is aware of a third, flashing sign of distress. it’s clear and it’s one after the other after another, there is no mistaking it. the uncertainty buck experienced in relation to eddie during 5a can’t happen now that things are fast-paced, with time limits and eddie’s protective instincts in the mix.

buck won’t leave the 118 or pretend he’s okay. he hasn’t faced eddie with his problems yet only because he wants to postpone the conversation he knows is going to happen and he’s self-aware enough to understand that he can’t go through any of this alone - which is why he’s already seeked advice from hen -. thinking of it, it’s actually pretty neat how they both mantain their different natures through the worst and still learn from each other’s experiences as if they were the same person.

distance is no more.

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Philia 2 for Neira and June

Storge 3 for Noya and Liam

Storge 5 for Kala

(I hope your weekend is going well! c:)

[ask game]

Weekend's been busy but not bad (sans the heat lol), hope yours went well too! :]

Philia 2: Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these due to issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely?

Neira: To her surprise, she's better at it than she thought! Jowan was practically Neira's only friend in the Circle for various reasons, and after being conscripted is the first time that she forges connections with such a wide array of people. She is a good listener and respects boundaries and is doing her best to learn, though she does have a sort of. quiet stubbornness when it comes to getting through to people. The part she struggles with is the "i am allowed to gain something in turn" part of friendship, but what are friends for if not for forcibly teaching her this

June: She's... really not great at it, and shies away from even trying for a long time because she is very aware of this fact. June has trouble emphasising with people if she can't directly relate to them in some way, and often isn't good at communicating what she needs, both things that, you know, are important for friendships. The thought of having to Learn how to do it, and worse, the possibility of being rejected regardless is fucking intimidating. So for her finding friends is basically done via vibe check; either they get on from the get-go, or not at all.

She gets better at it though! Throughout Inquisition and after she puts a lot of effort into actually forging and maintaining proper friendships, and hey, it works! :)

Storge 3: How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

Noya: Her parents managed to leave her with a pretty good sense of self-worth, all things considered. Noya used to look up to her mother a lot, so when people told her that she was just like her it made her proud, even if it wasn't always said as a compliment. It did sometimes leave her feeling like she couldn't live up to the image she'd built of Adaia in her head, and things got even more muddled after she died. Eventually it circled back around to giving her confidence though. Cyrion surely played a big part in this, his support did a lot for her self-image. As for approval.. it wasn't exactly for approval and more for the sake of making him happy, but she did agree to the wedding for Cyrion's sake.

Liam: Ahahahah. Well. Intentional or not, both his parents' but especially Leandra's way of raising the kids has strongly tied his sense of self-worth to his ability to care for his loved ones. He is already protective by nature, and living as a family with apostates naturally meant they had to be careful, so protecting the family and his siblings has always been a high priority. Leandra starting to put increased responsibility and blame on him after Malcom's passing obviously didn't help. What would he sacrifice for it? A Lot <3

Storge 5: Is your OC able to love without necessarily needing or expecting reciprocation or reward? Or are all their relationships to some extent transactional? Have they ever loved another person unconditionally, whether a child or another adult?

Kala: Ohh this is an interesting one. For a very long time she believed that everything in life is, in some way, transactional. Nothing is for free. However i would also say that she loved Rica unconditionally. She would have argued that it was still transactional; they were both instrumental to each others' survival, after all. And she would have said that the reason she did not expect anything from Rica in return was because she owed her anyway.

It takes her a long time after getting out of Orzammar to come to appreciate love for its own sake, but at the same time comes to the conclusion that love is never unconditional. She believes that love doesn't form without prior conditions and will not last without them either, even if they are indirect or subconscious.

[larrikin-is-a-himbo]

Thoughts on rewatch of the Batman 2022

"Ave Maria" faintly playing in the background in the beginning. Hadn't noticed that before.

Gotta look fabulous before going to beat the life out of criminals.

This movie does a perfect job of separating Batman and Bruce Wayne. How different those two people are, despite being the same person.

Another aspect I love is that this is the very beginning stages of Batman's journey. He's not the "perfect, no mistakes, flawless detective work" Batman that most movies portray. He's learning, making mistakes, still needs to improve his skills and craft. And since it's the first years and he hasn't been established as an asset to the Gotham PD yet, the officers, rightfully so, *do not* like him which makes a lot of sense than letting him run amok. (Not that that gets any better with time but you feel the difference in how they take Batman's presence.)

"The city's eating itself. Maybe it's beyond saving. But I have to try." SEE that is how you characterise Bruce, hope and endurance in the face of despair.

The narrative parallel between the death of the mayor and his son finding the body, and young Bruce watching his parents being murdered. Oh, it's so good, I'm gonna eat my hand.

Bruce saying he doesn't care what happens to his family's business and all the work they've done, equating his worth to what he does as a vigilante just goes to show how much the trauma and mental anguish has taken over his life, and now the severe depression, suicidal tendencies, even subconsciously just looking for an excuse to not live hits too close to home.

Robert Pattinson's back 😳 (I am a whore, leave me alone)

Batman fucking up the twins will never not be funny.

You've gotta be honest, our edgelord's entrance into Penguin's lair is nothing short of iconic.

I love this version of Penguin so much, he's the right amount of menacing and goofy.

THE FIRST MEETING OF BATCAT. Love-at-first-sight if I've ever seen it.

I fucking LOVE seeing Catwoman in action.

If I don't meet my S/O with us having a 1v1 and them manhandling me, what even is the point of it all.

Selina and Bruce's socio-economic background play such a big role in their reasons and aspirations to be heroes (or vigilantes). Glad this movie doesn't gloss over that.

Batsy is such a bastard in his early days. Selina should deck him.

He has so much to learn and grow, not just as Batman, but as a person. Yes, this is about him sending Selina as a spy.

Bruce Wayne looking like he's having the worst time of his life when he's in public. I love this socially repulsive man with all my heart.

Bruce seeing his child self in the mayor's son, but now with new responsibility of solving this mystery, just wow. A lot of movies, at least the live-action ones, tend to not prioritise portraying Bruce's childhood or the trauma he experienced with the gruesome murder of his parents, because at his core that's what led him down this path, it's just as, if not more, important, to him being the saviour, the knight of Gotham.

Him getting jealous thinking that's Selina with Falcone. Somebody's in love.

Riddler and his stupid love letters. Get a life.

Batman, you idiot, why would you stand with your face right infront for the bomb.

The police station scene is so funny. Poor Jim is losing it. "Great, now I got you on assaulting an officer." "You got me on assaulting three." Bad bitch energy.

"We gotta get you out of here buddy." "🥺" Gay behaviour.

OOOOOH. THE ESCAPE SCENE. Can't wait to see Batsy hit the ground and eat shit. THERE IT IS.

The fucking chase scene. Hell yeah. Emo Batman has some of the best entrances and chases in this movie. It's actually fun to watch and isn't cringe. What a refreshing change.

"Good cop, batshit cop." Jim shoving the pictures of the mutilated face into Penguin's face. I can't breathe.

Jim and Bats interrogating Penguin. Penguin roasting the fuck out of them. "No habla espanol, fellas?" "Shut up!" FUCKING HILARIOUS. Them leaving his tied up, and him waddling while cursing. THAT'S how you do comedy without breaking the tone of the movie, especially for dark superhero movies.

I know Alfred doesn't die but godsdammit I hate seeing him hurt.

Bruce lashing out because he feels betrayed but also reeling from getting flashbacks to his father's death while seeing Alfred in that bed, my boy was in the worst emotional state. I forgive him for being a little bitch to his dad (Alfred).

The heart to heart between Bruce and Alfred is such a tender and love-full moment. I needed that :,)

Selina should have just killed Kenzie before Bats came around. I support women's rights, but more importantly I support women's right to murder.

Carmine Falcone is such a sleazebag character. He gives me the creeps.

I love Jim Gordon. No particular scene inspired that statement, I just love him.

THE SECOND BEST HALLWAY FIGHT SCENE IN THE WORLD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I want it injected in my veins.

When Falcone is arrested and Penguin speaks against Carmine, I love that scene because it's a subtle indication to the end of the movie, where we see Penguin will now take over the criminal underworld of Gotham. The mighty Falcon has been taken down, the city is drowned. What better opportunity for a flightless bird to takeover?

Riddler with his dumb ass jokes and reddit lives. What a clown. He's dangerous but I can't take him seriously.

Batman appears and he just [starts screaming] peak teenage boy behaviour. Cringe lord. Be better.

Starting the movie with "I am darkness", contemplating if Gotham can even be saved, and ending it with Batman lighting the way, leading Gotham out of the destruction. GODS. Him coming to the realisation that Gotham, and by extension himself, need hope and change, not clinging to the past, not vengeance. That is so poetic.

In regards to BatCat, the last meeting really signifies their love story. He loves her, he truly does, and maybe in this version of the story they end up together despite all the, but Gotham will always be his priority. She wants him to live, not just exist, but live, but Bruce gave up on that idea long ago.

"The Bat and the Cat, its got a nice ring to it. [Pause] Who am I kidding? You're already spoken for." OK, Mr. Matt Reeves, why don't you just shoot me between the eyes?

[thedragonchilde]

G Gundam meta notes, eps 35-39:

"Showdown! Bursting Machinegun Punch"

-the first appearance of Master's death cough?

-George seems so much shallower then the others when you put it that way. I'll have to pay extra attention to him in coming eps because he's more of an enigma than he seems

-Chibodee actually seems really anguished about this, dang

-and he switches from name back to epithet to create distance, interesting

-”work with me on this!” ayup, Chibodee needs hype as a motivator

-”reflecting a tradition of calm and simplicity” sure, that sounds like Domon 

-"better than he's ever been"

-”and most of all, it's for you”

-"you sure know how to make me happy"

-"CHIBODEE HAS LIT A FIRE IN DOMON'S SOUL"

-oh my god everything out of their mouths at this point, I can't keep up with listing every quote they're coming so fast

-”I can feel your dream”

-”your hunger ignited a fire within me”

-”you're a great rival!” :) gotta get that hype in there

-oooh, that fade in, did Chibs actually get knocked out for a few seconds?? Concussion check!

-you can practically see the shoujo bubbles, seriously, check the soft focus - and Domon is such an encouraging friend! It's so sweet, even if you're not a useless queer like me. In fact, it's a nice callback to their original faceoff! (And literally supportive too, even; I do love a good 'leaning on/propping up your teammate'. Although now I have to go back and note whether Domon reassures his friends on the regular or if it's just Chibodee–)

"A Knights' Pride! Gundam Rose Stolen"

-”I'm focusing solely on you” George, that's a little gay

-George talking with a rose in his mouth though, great line delivery

-"the Gundam Fight is not a sport" that's,,, hm. Certainly not how they seem to treat it. Interesting highlight of the difference between the fighters and the politicos

-hmm, it says something interesting that this is the circumstance in which we see George cry

-'knight' is a wildly anachronistic position, but there's something up here, as he clearly has some hangups about his self-worth tied up in fighting and country and,,,

-aside from Domon putting Shining to rest, this is the only other time we see someone talking to their Gundam. Rose really is George's lady, huh

-"just this one time I wish to fight only for myself" ooooh this has such juicy implications! (A ‘gilded cage’ corollary to Argo, re: fighting as freedom?)

-even at his most passionate he's still… restrained? That's not quite the right word. But like he almost doesn't know how to let himself go, even when he's clearly already gone

-"I've been devoutly loyal to x all my life (at the expense of my sense of self) but now I wanna do something for me" is so good

-it's almost like he believes fighting is the only thing he's good for. Something to dig into

"Sai Saici's New Attack! Blazing Dragon Gundam"

-Rain is so insecure about her place in Domon's life among fighters, and that's interesting, but she was never threatened before Allenby, which is understandable but somewhat less interesting

-Allenby calling Sai ‘kid’ and ‘baby boy’ like she's not closer to his age than Domon's 

-damn, Domon really gets Sai

-okay Wong almost made that sound like he's somehow in on Master being sick

-man, Zuisen and Keiun keep underestimating Sai. Like, nice job breaking it hero

-Sai’s dad was hot. I'm gonna guess Sai will grow up nice ;)

-I wonder what Shin Ryusen Kochouken would be in Mandarin (or whatever Chinese dialect Sai would speak)

-There's probably some cool stuff to be said about Asian solidarity by someone more knowledgeable than me. But like. These are really bros and I love it. Need more of this dynamic tbh

-aw, Rain getting the martial artist bond (so long as it's not with Allenby I guess)

"Domon vs. Argo! Charging Bolt Gundam"

-why would Neo Russia cover up something against a criminal they'd want more against? 

-Wong tortures people now, cool cool

-you don't always get to notice it, but Argo's eyes are such a pretty icy blue

-oh, it's "us" now, is it, Nastasha?

-I'm struggling with words on this one, and it might be because I've screamed over it too many times over the years (esp about things like how fucked up the hologram is, or The Date), like I feel I'm repeating myself

-or that I'm just wordlessly screaming at Argo and Nastasha because I fucking love them

-Argo just takes the whole damn fish

-Nastasha can cook! 

-interesting that she notices a superstition

-they go back and forth on whether they're using Berserker

-ARGO THAT SHOUT WAS DOWNRIGHT MUSICAL

-”now we can focus solely on each other” lil gay there Domon

-GET HIM, MASTER

-”I haven't forgotten my duties as the Black Joker” mind filling us in on what those duties are? 

-finally get tears from Argo and it's in flashback

-"Argo, you're awesome" :)

-"one x for the both of us" is SO GOOD, YOU GUYS

-"your fists have shown me the light to my soul" sounds kind of goofy but this situation is actually a really cool application of 'communicating with your fists' - Argo being someone who shows himself to be so respectful of life is incongruent with the incident the way Andrew remembers it, so the reality of current actions fills in the blanks of the past. This probably isn't coming out right.

"The Ultimate Attack! Duel With Master Asia"

-it's only a split second, but Argo has a nice butt

-tapping into Rain's insecurities about being needed, I see

-way to give the viewer whiplash re: Domon - show him being a jerk to Rain, then follow it with him being adorable with Fuunsaiki 

-,,,he communicates with the horse better than he does with Rain

-I don't know what that says about him but it's fuel for the autistic headcanon

-”are you trying to tell me I should ride you?” Now there's something that can be taken out of context

-what a messy divorce

-I wanna know when they actually mean ‘defeat’ and when they mean ‘kill’

-oh wow, Master Asia can actually get injured?

-”I could leave you behind” yeah, but you won't

-"the one thing I never taught you",,, and then proceeds to not teach him before asking him to do it. Unless they handwaved/skipped that part for us

-oooh, motive rant! And in case we forgot about the crapsack world setup from the early episodes, y'know, more fuel for the anti-war environmentalist fire

-the horse gets a suit-up!

-you know what, Domon, I get that you were worried, but you fuckin deserve Rain leaving