#Despite the fact I have no merch of him

[eddiesshovel]

Some photos of Garry because I love him a lot and you guys deserve Garry photos

these photos are from the art book!!

[heirbane]

Like I earnestly believe that for all he's known for, gaius DID look at the black rose project and put his foot down and did his best to make it impossible to proceed. Even earlier on, before Werlyt, we were seeing glimpses of the cracks in how far he was willing to go for Garlemald. How is that overlooked? How do people see that and blanket him as a bad person? Like, he IS - but there's hope there.

[thelostconsultant]

Instant dad - part 1

pairing: Oscar Piastri x ex!reader

summary: You have no choice but to tell Oscar he has a five years old son. Now he wants to be a part of his life to make things complicated...

note: Oscar is in his early 30s, so yeah, there's a time jump.

[pilot]

A bit over a week later Oscar was sitting in his rented car in the school’s parking lot, thinking about how this conversation could go. According to you, they were aware of the fact he had not known Oliver existed until recently, so he hoped they didn’t expect him to talk about what he was like. Sure, over the past week he asked you about him, he wanted to prepare for meeting him, but they hadn’t met in person. How could he know what to say? After taking a deep breath, he got out and went inside, feeling more nervous than he did when he was getting in the car before a race.

If he was this nervous now, what would he feel like before meeting his son? 

Spending years in a boarding school prepared him for this meeting, and the principal was everything he imagined him to be. He was polite, not making a fuss over the fact he was–let’s say–famous. He even apologized for the mess he caused, saying he understood it was probably quite a shock for him, but this was the protocol, and they couldn’t make an exception. Oscar kept nodding, even assuring him it was okay, although deep down he was still confused and unsure of things. 

All of this despite his conversation with his mother, who had been overjoyed when she saw a video of Oliver, saying he was truly just like him, and she couldn’t wait to have the chance to meet her grandchild in person. But she also told him maybe this was the best thing that could happen to him. Having a child is truly an experience, and since he was still five, they had the chance to have a wonderful relationship. “You say he loves F1. Just imagine how happy he would be if he could go to some race weekends with you. You could teach him so much about racing, and you could bond over that,” she said. 

After he parked in front of your house in the afternoon, Oscar went to the trunk to get everything he brought with himself. From signed merch from both himself and Lando–just to be sure–to toy racing cars, he had a wide variety of gifts. Something will hopefully become a favorite, an item that he would keep close to himself. Maybe he went overboard, maybe he could’ve brought only one thing, but he had no idea what Oliver liked, so he couldn’t pick just one item. 

“Please, don’t tell me you brought all this for him.”

He looked up with a questioning hum, only to find you standing next to him on the sidewalk. Seeing you again brought back memories of your time together, of all of your little adventures during the short time you spent together, and he couldn’t help but wonder if you fled because you found out you were pregnant. If you didn’t leave him so suddenly, would things be different now? Would you be a big happy family? 

Clearing his throat, he flashed a sheepish smile at you. “I couldn’t choose,” he admitted as he grabbed the duffel bag and followed you to the front door. He couldn’t help but wonder what he could expect, and he had to ask you the most important thing. “Did you tell him that he was meeting his father today?” You nodded. That was good. “Is he excited?”

You bit on your lower lip as you watched him, clearly thinking about how to answer the question. But after a short break, you let out a sigh. “He’s a little confused, I think. My boyfriend, Alejandro, met him when he was only two, the three of us spent a lot of time together, and he moved in last year. Oliver… He assumed my boyfriend was his dad, which in a way he is, but we had to sit him down and explain the situation to him,” you said, looking sad all of a sudden. 

It was clear now why you were so against telling Oliver the truth. You wanted him to be close to your boyfriend, and you were probably afraid things between them would change once he got into the picture. Maybe you were even afraid things between you and your boyfriend would change too. He couldn’t blame you for that, but now that he knew he had a son, Oscar wanted to be a part of his life. He didn’t want to be some asshole who ignored his own blood. 

Once inside, he put the bag on the floor and followed you to the living room where Oliver was watching some cartoon on TV. Now that he saw him in person, he felt warmth spread through his body, because this kid looked exactly like he did at his age. You cleared your throat next to him to get your son’s attention, and when the kid noticed him, his eyes grew wide from surprise. He got off the couch and slowly walked over to them, his eyes never leaving his face as he tried to process who their guest was. 

“Hello, Oliver,” Oscar said as he crouched down. 

“You’re Oscar Piastri!” he yelled excitedly. 

Oscar couldn’t help but chuckle at this. “I am.”

You reached out to ruffle your son’s hair, then leaned down to be on somewhat eye level with him. “Honey, remember when I said your daddy was going to jump in to see you?” The little boy nodded. “It’s Oscar. He’s your dad,” you told him softly.

Suddenly the excitement was replaced by disbelief, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of you as he tried to process what he’d just been told. The corners of Oscar’s lips curled into a smile as he watched him, waiting patiently for the child’s decision. 

“So he’s my dad?” Oliver asked, earning a nod from you. “Does this mean I’m a Piastri?” It was Oscar’s turn to nod. “Mom, why am I not called Piastri?”

His eyes moved over to you just in time to see you gulp, clearly having trouble figuring out what to say to that. He couldn’t blame you for your confusion, it probably hadn’t occurred to you that one day you would have to respond to this question. With a kind smile, he put a hand on your arm, then turned to his son. “Because I’ve been away for a little too long. But I’m here, your mom and I can discuss if we could change that if you want,” he finished, barely daring to glance up at you, expecting to meet an angry look in your eyes.

But you didn’t look angry, if anything, you seemed relieved that he came to your rescue. There was a glint in your eyes, though, that told him you weren’t happy that Oliver brought up his surname. As he thought about it, it occurred to him that you had mentioned how you considered your boyfriend to be his father in a way, so maybe you would have rather given him his name. 

You placed a soft kiss on your son’s head, then informed him that you would leave the two of them alone so they could get to know each other. Father and son watched you leave the room, then he turned back to the child with a smile. “I brought you some things. Wanna see them?” he asked him, and when the little boy nodded, he went to grab his bag. 

As he opened the zipper, Oliver stood by his side, watching his every move with a happy smile on his face. Oscar pulled out the gifts, one by one, and couldn’t hold back his laugh as he watched his son proudly wearing his new baseball cap and shirt as he examined the toy car in his small hands. He began to talk about the last race, excitedly recounting the most memorable moments, including the end when his father crossed the finish line first. His big brown eyes turned to him, then he said that he was so happy he was here. 

When he wrapped his short arms around him, Oscar did the same and even pressed a kiss on the kid’s head. There was undeniably a certain connection between them that he couldn't explain, but they both knew it was there, otherwise his son probably wouldn't be this chill with the idea of being alone with a stranger. Okay, that and the fact he was his favorite driver.

They sat down in the middle of the living room, and Oliver decided to talk about his favorite books, proudly telling his father that he knew how to read, and that according to you and your boyfriend he was really good at it. “The other kids can barely read yet,” he said with a smug smile, “and I'm already learning math!”

“Do you know how to play chess?” Oscar asked him, but the boy only shook his head. “I should teach you. I started when I was younger than you, and my mom refused to play with me after a while.”

“Because you were so good?” 

With a shrug, he stretched his arms above his head. “I don't know, but I guess I was better than her. Not sure about other people, though,” he admitted with a warm smile.

Oliver let out a thoughtful hum. “Is she as awesome as my mom?” he suddenly asked, looking back at him. 

A laugh escaped him at the thought, which made his son tilt his head to the side in question. “That depends on who you ask. She loves to embarrass me online, which isn't always a good thing, but I love her, she's the best mum I could ask for. And there are a lot of people, especially my fans, who absolutely adore her for this gentle bullying,” he added with a laugh.

“My mom would never do that,” Oliver stated, his little nose scrunching at the thought. “She loves me too much.”

The two of them spent the next hour or so talking, sometimes stopping when the little boy got distracted by something he caught on TV. But he seemed interested, he wanted to learn as much as he could, and it was true the other way around, because Oscar asked a lot of questions too. He hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed until you walked in to tell your son it was time for dinner, a statement that came with the question whether or not his dad was allowed to stay. 

You didn’t let him stay, saying he was probably tired from traveling so much, then gave him a begging look to make him speak up too. Oscar let out a sigh and forced a smile on his face. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be back tomorrow. I’m staying for a few days and your mum let me come to see you every day,” he said happily. “In fact, I’ll be looking out for you tomorrow while she’s at work. How does that sound?”

Oliver squealed from happiness before he hugged you both, thanking you over and over again for letting him come over. “Can we go to the zoo?” he asked with bright eyes as he looked over at his father. 

“Sure, whatever you want,” Oscar responded with a nod. 

“Okay, time to wash your hands, Alejandro will be home soon, so we can start to eat,” you asked your son. Once he said goodbye to Oscar and disappeared, you turned to him with a forced smile. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

With a sigh, he stepped closer to you. “You were right, he’s a lot like me,” he began quietly, then stopped to consider what to say. He knew deep down that you wanted him to stay away, you didn’t want him to ruin the balance of your little family, but how could he give you that after getting to know his son? Oliver was his blood, he was truly a mini version of him, there was no way he would turn his back on him now. 

You knew. After all these years, despite your time together being so short, you still knew him well enough to know what was going on in his head. “Just don’t break his heart, okay?” you asked, earning a nod from him. “Thanks for… everything. Tomorrow, then?”

“Tomorrow. Have a good night.”

tagged: @hc-dutch @nxlx96 @taliya8346282844eliviahdgdajs @laanswife @chunkpiboli @pakotrzl @1800-love-me

important: the taglist is closed. in fact, this might be the first and last time i'm doing this, because leaving someone out accidentally stresses me. sorry.

Anyway, what do you think? Should I continue?

[wannaeatramyeon]

Gun Park x Reader: Spoiling You

G/N. Soft/Fluffy. Masterlists

"I'm craving-"

Sentence not even finished, Gun has already paused his game and stood up. He hears the object of your heart and stomach's desire, plants a kiss softly atop your head then strides out the door before you even realise.

"...Huh?"

An hour later, a bag full of delicious goodness is deposited in your hands.

.

.

Frankly, what you want, you always get. Gun spoils you.

Trouble is, even if you briefly mention you like something in passing, he would still commit it to memory and it would be in your possession the next day, if not within the hour.

That man takes things to extremes. In fact, sometimes even a passing glance is enough for him to open his wallet and spoil you rotten.

"I feel bad," you tell him, after you find an entire new seasonal wardrobe awaiting on your bed, gift wrapped and bagged.

You had forgotten that an outfit had caught your attention yesterday and your eyes flickered over to the store window.

Gun didn't.

"Don't."

"You spent so much on me though,"

"I have it." Gun says, and you almost swoon from his very much understated flex.

A thought pops into your mind-

"... Is it a kink of yours?"

"What?"

"Being a sugar daddy. Sorta."

Gun pulls a face, "No." 

A predatory glint appears in his eyes and a smirk spreads. "-But I can show you some more of mine."

.

.

If the way he treats you is any indication of his past relationships, you're surprised he's not completely broke.

Actually, maybe what is more surprising is your own self constraint. Your morals.

If you had asked your past self what you would do if you were presented with what appears to be unlimited funds, and you could buy anything you wanted, then you thought you would go fucking hard.

However. Along with gratitude, you feel a pang of guilt despite Gun’s continuous reassurance and unexpected patience.

But gradually, over time, the guilt lifts as you learn this is one of his love languages. A combination of gift giving and acts of service that makes your heart completely melt.

The only difference between him and the average person is that what he considers a normal amount to spend on you is more than some people's entire annual salary.

What's worse is that he never particularly wants anything.  Honestly, he's a complete bitch to buy gifts for. It's almost impossible for you to reciprocate his generosity.

In return though, all Gun ever wants is your time and loyalty. You happily give both in spades. 

(And you pour your efforts into handmade presents instead.)

.

.

"Did you always go this crazy in past relationships?" You ask, gesturing at more gifts you're surrounded by. 

You talked about your favourite band, and the next day boxes and boxes of official merch, their entire discography - signed, was handed over to you.

"Past relationships?" Gun asks, head tilted, single brow arched. As if your question wasn't straight forward enough.

"Y'know. People that you've dated before."

"I haven't dated anyone before." 

Oh?

Gun says that like it's no big deal. Like it isn't the sweetest fact ever. Like... How on earth is that even possible?!

"For real?!"

He nods, and god. You fling yourself at him.

There's no breath of surprise, no stumbling. Bless his unhumanly fast reflexes. His arms are already open, he's poised, steady and unwavering, like he's always ready to catch you.

You make indecipherable noises. You tell him he is adorable and Gun protests that he is not. That just makes him more so.

You're his first relationship, and he doesn't tell you this today, but he also intends for you to be his only one too.

[nathaslosthershit]

Interviews and Playdates (OP81)

(Part of the Teen Dad!Oscar Piastri Au) Summary: The twins have made their paddock debut! The media is asking many of the drivers about it and the kids make a friend… or two.

The twins had been unable to sit still since they woke up this morning, too excited to get to visit the paddock for the first time and finally get to see their dad race. Oscar had hoped they would finally believe that he did in fact race the cars, something the twins were still not convinced of. 

Being that it was Oscar’s home race, he had decided to fly his family out to see his home. It was an exciting moment for the whole family. 

The minute they got to the paddock, all eyes were on them. Oscar and his fiancée had warned the kids of the media and fans, that there would be screaming and a lot of people. Luckily, the noise and amount of people just made the twins shy, huddling by their parents’ legs, which the adults definitely preferred, losing the two on the paddock at their first race wouldn’t have been the best of first impressions. 

As usual, the twins had their priorities in order. Before getting to the McLaren garage, they had demanded to their father that they be able to see their honorary uncle, Logan Sargeant, who wouldn’t be racing that day.

When the twins got to the Williams garage, their favorite American was waiting to greet them, with two LS2 Williams childrens hats, as well as a bag of blue colored candy for them to share. Despite how Logan had been feeling before they had come to visit, seeing them made him feel infinitely much better. 

“Logan please, they are off naps and if we give them sugar they are going to crash. I’m not even sure they are going to stay awake long enough to make it until race time.” Oscar pleaded as he watched his longtime friend ignore him and give his kids the treats anyway.

“Oscar its fine, let him spoil them a little.” Honey, Oscar’s fiancée, said.

“Do you guys like the new hats? See the LS? That's my logo. I thought when you guys are surrounded by all the orange- sorry papaya, you’d like to be able to easily see these two with their blue hats.” Logan said, first talking to the twins then their parents. Even if half of him just wanted to have them wearing Williams and Logan merch to piss Lando off, he also thought having them sticking out would be a good idea. It was sweet how much he cared.

After the Williams visit, on the way to the McLaren garage, the Piastri family was met with the two Haas drivers with two girls hiding behind them.

“Oscar, we have two girls here who wanted to say hi to the new grid kids.” Kevin Magnessun said as he pushed his daughter in front of him.

Oscar could see the Haas media admin recording this encounter, ready to capture the cute moment on tape.

But as kids do, there wasn’t much talking between the kids as their dads talked at first, finally after a bit of convincing and nudging, once the ice was broken, they had gotten along quite well. To the point that they all had to take their kids away, kicking and screaming once they had to leave. Luckily though, they had calmed down by the time they got to the McLaren garage. 

Tired from the sugar and fighting their parents when separating from the Haas girls, the twins weren’t too enthusiastic when greeted by McLaren members, which their parents apologized tenfold for. They did luckily perk up when they saw their second favorite  honorary uncle coming towards them. 

“What the hell are these two wearing, Oscar?” Lando asked, pointing to the LS hats the kids proudly adorned. 

“We stopped by the Williams garage just cause it was on the way and got two hats from Logan, I'm sure if you had beat him to it they would be wearing your merch but I think they are too attached to them now.” It was a lie, but Oscar didn’t feel the need to tell Lando his kids pleaded to go see Logan before him. He also didn’t mention that his son said he liked the hat so much because McLaren’s orange “hurt his eyes”. 

The kids were luckily well behaved for the race, having slept through a bit of it. They were also fortunate that, due to unfortunate circumstances, Logan joined them to watch a little bit of the Grand Prix. 

The best moment however, had to be when Oscar’s daughter saw him getting out of the car and finally muttered the words, “Daddy really drives the car!” to her mother. 

With all the excitement on the paddock about the Piastri twins, it seemed the media pen was more interested in what some of the drivers had to say about it, rather than asking questions about the race.

Logan Sargeant

“So Logan, rough day for you having to give up your car, but it seems your ‘niece and nephew’ have made their paddock debut, even rocking your own merch in the McLaren garage! How was that for you?” The interviewer asked.

“Yeah, them being here and keeping me company made it all a lot better. They immediately came to Williams because according to Oscar they were demanding to see me. And they wore the LS hats the entire time even though I wasn't racing so I think that has cemented me as the favorite once again.”

Lando Norris

“So it seems you and Logan Sargeant have a bit of an off track feud going on relating to the Norris twins and who their favorite uncle is. Logan had mentioned earlier that they had begged to go to Williams to visit him, before they even got to the McLaren garage. Did you know about this?”

The smile was immediately whipped from Lando’s face at this, “I had known, yes, when they came to the garage wearing Williams hats with a bag of treats in their hand I had assumed, but Oscar told me they just stopped over on the way there. I didn’t know they had asked specifically.”

“Seems he keeps lying to you about where the twins' loyalty lies.”

“He does! Makes me look like an idiot every time he does it.” Lando scoffed, “Whatever, I will win them over somehow. Logan just has a few years head start but I’ll find a way.”

Nico Hulkenburg

“Nico, a video posted by the Haas team earlier showed you and Kevin’s girls hanging out with the Piastri twins. Is there a budding friendship there between them?”

“Yes! They met for the first time today because Kevin and I had managed to bring our girls as well. So sweet seeing them altogether. I’m glad that Noemi will have more friends here. She was already telling her mom earlier that she wanted to plan a playdate with them. Might be hard given we live in different countries but I guess we will have to find a way.”

Daniel Ricciardo

“It's been a few months since it was revealed that your fellow aussie driver is a dad, now his kids are joining us on the paddock. What were your reactions at the time?” The interviewer asks.

“Well, I hadn’t known before he addressed it that he had kids, but it doesn’t seem like anyone else did so that isn’t too much of a surprise. Definitely a shock cause he is so young but good for him. I hadn’t seen his kids but I had heard they were over playing with the Haas girls which is adorable. He must be proud to show his kids what he does.” Daniel replied.

Alex Albon

“So, it seems one of your fellow 2019 rookie seems to have beef with your teammate over who is the better uncle to the Piastri twins. Being friends with both of them, do you have any input?”

“I knew before the rumors about the whole situation because Logan accidentally told most of our team when we were all kind of teasing him about how young he is and how he might be inexperienced in childcare, to which he then showed all of us the numerous pictures and videos of the twins that he took while babysitting or visiting, which I don’t think Oscar actually knew about him telling us. But it is sweet, he takes his uncle duties very seriously. Lando on the other hand, I think Oscar has done him an injustice by not telling him he isn’t the favorite because I think if he knew he had competition he would have been working much harder. Not that he isn’t also sweet with them but I think he may have offered to watch them a few more times.”

[theemporium]

Could you possibly write something for Nico where he dates shy reader and he is all lovey dovey with her post game win when they celebrate together? Perhaps she wears his jersey? Thank you for considering. 🫶🏻

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to support Nico, it was more so the fact the games were a lot more intense and intimidating when you were in person.

You watched every game without fail, though usually it was from the comfort of your own couch whilst you were buried in one of his hoodies. And despite what people assumed, he didn’t mind. He knew you supported him. He knew that the second the game was over, you would be on the phone to him to tell him exactly what you thought of the game, always complementing the way he played regardless of whether the Devils won or lost.

And he knew games in person weren’t really your thing. You didn’t like the attention of being sat by the glass and, even though you got along with the other players’ families and friends, it still felt a little intense to be in a suite with them for the whole game. You didn’t like the pressure of having to keep up friendly small talk during the game, but Nico knew you would because you would have felt bad otherwise. 

So, in all honesty, he didn’t mind that you didn’t go to his games. 

But there was something that made his heart want to burst out of his chest on the games you did attend in person. 

“Fuck you, Panthers!” 

Nico huffed out a laugh, shaking his head at Jack’s antics. The boy was already one too many drinks deep into their post-game celebration after—by some miraculous turn of events—thrashing the Panthers on Jersey soil with a buzzing 6-1. 

“You’re gonna get us kicked out,” Nico teased, but the boy didn’t care as he grinned widely at his captain. 

“Give it a break, Cap, go back to making heart eyes at your girl!” Jack snickered, wiggling his eyebrows at the two of you. He didn’t think Nico had let go of you since he had stepped out of the locker room. “We fucking broke the streak! We are allowed to celebrate!”

“Let him have his fun,” you said, your arms tightening to gain your boyfriend’s attention as he tore his eyes away from Jack to look down at you. His gaze softened in an instant and it made your stomach erupt with butterflies. “You all deserve to celebrate the win after the rough streak.” 

“Hm, maybe we won because you were here,” Nico teased, though there was a sincerity in his words that made you think he truly believed his own words. “Wanna come to Montreal with us?”

You snorted, shaking your head. “Today was all you, I had nothing to do with it.”

“I don’t know about that,” Nico said with a massive smile on his lips as his fingers playfully tugged on the hem of the jersey you were wearing. “We lost the last five games until my girl walked in with her lucky jersey on. I think that’s all the proof we need.”

Your cheeks burned as you glanced down at the lucky jersey in question. It was an old jersey of his, maybe one from a year or two ago. He had given it to you near the start of your relationship, when he was leaving for his first roadie since you started seeing each other. You joked about buying some Devils merch to support him whilst you watched the games and he had handed you the jersey the night before he left. You wore it for every game you watched—or at least, you tried to. 

This had been the first game in a while you had worn it since you lost it in the process of moving apartments with Nico, into an apartment big enough for the two of you.

“You hockey players and your superstitions,” you murmured, tucking your chin against your chest to hide how flushed ‘my girl’ made you.

But Nico was one step ahead of you as his hands moved to cup your cheeks, lifting your head until he could look down at your flustered face with a soft smile. “I heard kissing the captain after a win gives the team good luck for their next.”

You laughed and his expression brightened. “Yeah?”

“Mhm, an old hockey legend,” Nico nodded. 

“Well, you gotta kiss him now!” Jack exclaimed from the other side of the table. “We need the luck!”

You laughed harder as you wrapped your arms around his waist once again and grinned up at him. “I think I can get behind that superstition.”

And Nico barely gave you a chance to finish your sentence before he leaned down to kiss you, his smile pressed against yours.

.

[pinkanonwrites]

EARTHSPARK TRANSFORMERS DILDOS AGAIN!!

Bumblebee finding the ✨Stinger✨ while going down a rabbit hole of his merch. He is too horrified to ask if Alex has one (he doesn’t)

Optimus finding one obviously based off him and wondering if he should release an official one. I mean, it would be good for human and cybertronian relations right? Right??

Elita finds the mother of all strap-ons that would make a size queen weep and is like “🫤 why did they make mine so small?”

Megatron finds one probably called the Destroyer or something and is just horrified. Elita probably sent it to him jokingly because if she has to see this shit then so does everyone else

Wheeljack probably has an officially branded vibrator he designed. Has the same reputation as those rose toys but people have passed out using it and swore they saw the face of God after

Arcee finds a pocket pussy based off of her and is like “bro cybertronian valve would shred your dick to pieces!” And so a pencil sharpener based off Arcee was made

The Earthspark 'Bots are split into three different categories depending on how they feel about having knock-off sex toys made of them. They are as follows:

Deeply Embarrassed: Bumblebee and Megatron

Tentatively Curious: Optimus and Elita One

Genuinely Hyped: Wheeljack and Arcee

It's the one piece of merchandise above all else that Bumblebee is glad Alex doesn't own. He's... flattered? Kinda? That there are humans out there that may be into what he's got going on. But he's mostly embarrassed, and hopes to Primus no one ever asks him about it because NO, he did NOT sign off on this!

Meanwhile Megatron's is one of those three-foot tall ones that weighs like 60 pounds, custom textured with mechanical plating and details. He's confused that it even exists; There's no way any human on Earth can fit that thing into one of their tiny little holes, is there? It takes him a second to remember that humans are incredibly versatile, and insertion isn't they only way to have fun, then he gets supremely flustered.

Optimus is a little bit embarrassed, though not nearly as much as Megs or Bee. Despite this, the fact that there's even an interest in these sort of things gives him hope that humans and Cybertronians will be able to live in peace. Just gotta get past some... awkward speed bumps first.

Elita is impressed. Mainly because she hadn't really thought humans would be interested in Transformers in that way, so she's actually a little tickled by the idea of Cybertronians being desirable enough to humans for a whole adult toy line. She has a few qualms that the femme false spikes seem to always be more dainty than the mech ones, but she has no plans to whip it out for any designers so she can't really complain.

Wheeljack is sending signed designs with elaborate detail charts and specifics about strength and material and battery life. If it's gonna be associated with him anyway, why wouldn't he want it to be the best of the best? Let the humans have their fun, and it doesn't hurt to make a little money on the side to fund some research projects and base repairs.

Meanwhile Arcee is having fun messing with the toy designers by coming up with elaborate lies and exaggerations about Cybertronian anatomy purely for her own entertainment. After all, if none of these humans have the ball-bearings to ask her for proof of her little claims and spiels, that's on them!

[hyunteru]

red lips - k. kenma

in which a famous streamer goes live with his girlfriend for a well known challenge— the buldak noodle challenge

pairing: kozume kenma x f!reader

tags/warnings: just cute fluff, cursing, established relationship, timeskip, written in 2nd point of view, reader’s spice tolerance isn’t that good

“Hey guys, kozuken here with—“

“Me! hi chat!” Kenma couldn’t help but smile as he watched you reveal yourself on stream, waving happily at the camera as everyone settled into the stream and started spamming the chat box with comments and greetings. He doesn’t know how you somehow convinced him into doing this challenge with you. He remembers watching people do that stupid cinnamon challenge years ago and judging them for putting straight powder in their mouth, now here he is. In front of millions about to eat the world known “spiciest noodles ever.”

“Alright so— today we have the uhh…buldak hot chicken flavour ramen” Kenma starts off as he holds the empty package on the screen, to save time, the noodles were already cooked and “evenly” separated into two bowls, courtesy of you. “And i guess the challenge is to finish the bowl without literally dying or having to get milk”

“it smells and looks pretty good though” you observe as you take a hold of the bowl and use your chopsticks to mix them around a bit, keeping out the part where your eyes literally started watering when the hot steam hit your face the first time you added the sauce into the pot. “Yeah, nothing more appetizing than literal red.. orange looking noodles that burns my nose” Kenma says sarcastically as you roll your eyes playfully with a smile “You’re only saying that because you held the pot right up to your nose and smelled it!” “Did i?” laughter fell between you too as you playfully jabbed his side and he tried swatting your hand away.

It’s not like you hated spice, you tried to build up your tolerance but that always ended up in runny noses and ice cream. Kenma on the other hand didn’t care for it much. In general, he never liked trying new things. He stuck to what he knew and avoided trying things he knew he wouldn’t like. Despite that, you somehow convinced him to try these “viral” noodles that were going around the internet. People were good at faking reactions for views or money so you (and admittedly, him) were curious as to if these noodles were as “bad” as they seemed. Plus, it’s not like he could ever say no to you.

You held up the bowl to the camera as you pulled the noodles up with your chopsticks, displaying the red fiery noodles to the screen. “Oh by the way i added the whole sauce packet— you know? for the whole experience?” you added on as you retracted the bowl from the camera and held it in your hands as you looked at your boyfriend. You can tell by his face that he wasn’t excited or happy at that at all— Kenma wasn’t very good at hiding his distasteful face. “Of course you did” he huffs out as he grabs his bowl too and held his chopsticks, but there was no malice in his voice whatsoever. You were right anyways, if you’re gonna do some food challenge you might as well go all or nothing.

“Cheers!” You smiled as you took a generous amount into your mouth, Kenma watching you as he took a more cautious bite instead. “Oh wow— it’s actually pretty good” you say as you nod and look at your boyfriend as you continued chewing, but as you continued chewing the flavour intensified more and the burning feeling finally started to rest on your tongue. Kenma was already sweating in his merch hoodie, feeling the spice going down his throat and out his nose as he thinned his lips out and tried not to show a huge display of a reaction. Both of you in silence as you looked at each other, waiting for the other one to break. There was never an agreement on what the “winner” would get but you’re sure it would just be bragging rights, that and the fact that his whole chat would witness it.

The spice was hitting you in the back of your throat, making your mouth secrete more saliva to try to get rid of the burning sensation. Your resolve was falling but so was his, so now it was just a battle of endurance. Your eyes flickered to the glass of milk on the table and back at your boyfriend, a taunting push to see if he would break but he kept his composure and flickered his eyes to the milk glass as well and smirked lightly. “How are you holding in there?” Kenma teases as he looked at you, trying to ignore the way the spice was coming up again as he talked. “Great— just great.. i’m fine.. yeah” you resort, trying to convince yourself otherwise but you were sweating like crazy and the room felt much hotter than it was 10 minutes ago. You silently cursed at yourself for taking such a confident bite at the beginning. Watching too many mukbangs gave you some sort of will and determination that it wouldn’t be as bad, but obviously that’s coming to bite you in the ass now.

Kenma spent years with you, learning your body language and different behaviours. He knows you were fighting to not break by the way you were gripping your knees and occasionally wiping your palms against your pants. He knows you’re sharing the same burning feeling in his mouth and it definitely wasn’t pleasant. Kenma also knew how absolutely stubborn you are, but this spice wasn’t the good type of spice— no, this spice was burning and it felt like his taste buds were shrivelling up in real time. If Kenma was with Kuroo or anyone else, he would suck it up and hang in there to play to long game until the other person gives up. His dignity was too precious to risk and his competitive nature would’ve kicked in. But this was you, and god he loved you so much.

He reached over to the table and took the glass of milk and swallowed it down, the moment you saw him basically surrender, you reached over to grab your own glass and swallowed down the cooling liquid as well. Feeling the instant relief to the burning that once surrounded your mouth. You were honestly surprised that Kenma was the one to back down, you were sure that he was gonna just bite his tongue and hang in there. But, you weren’t gonna complain anyways. Panting lightly as you lowered the glass and finally feeling your body cool down, you look over at your boyfriend who equally looked relieved. He reached over with a napkin and wiped your lips that were covered in the sauce from the noodles, you didn’t even notice the burning on your lips because you were too focused on everywhere else. “Feeling better?” “Mhm— and i feel even more better knowing i just beat you!” Kenma smirked at that as he flicked your forehead “You want ice cream? there’s some in the freezer—“ You didn’t even waste a second to get up and immediately leave the room, basically cutting him off as you rushed out.

Kenma watched you leave with a fond smile, when you were out of sight he moved the two bowls aside and cleared his table a bit as he looked at his chat that were flooding with messages. “What do you mean i let her win, chat?” he says, acting clueless as he leans back on his chair. His eyes skimmed through the messages that kept coming in “What can i say? my girlfriend is just that much better” he says sincerely. He didn’t need to admit out loud how absolutely smitten he was with you, everything showed in his actions. It really didn’t take a genius to figure out how in love with you he is. And he was absolutely okay with that.

m.list

[skepticalarrie]

Could you please explain what that actually means when Simon said he doesn't own One Direction name?

I’m not a specialist, and we haven’t discussed contracts and business within the music industry for a while, so I apologize if I’m missing some facts. But basically, control over the band's name can have a massive impact on decision-making and financial outcomes. If he owned the name One Direction, that would give him full control over the brand, merch, and sort all commercial uses. The fucker regrets not owning it because he 👏 wants 👏 to 👏 profit 👏 more 👏. It’s all about money. He could be licensing products (he even mentions animations in the video), he could also organize a potential reunion and do whatever he wanted with the band, who knows…

There are so many layers to this. He also mentioned that a band member dropping out of half the tour wouldn’t be a problem if he owned the band because band ownership includes controlling decisions like continuing a tour despite these kinds of changes. I haven’t watched the full interview, but it seems to me he implies that One Direction wouldn’t be on indefinite hiatus if it were up to him. He could even have potentially reformed the band with new members or taken other directions to keep it going without even needing the consent of OT5. I mean, that’s how messed up things could have been. He regrets that the artists are the ones still in control and profiting from it!!!! He wanted to own it so the actual band members would be just puppets, not really an important part of it. No human decency, just money and business. And people still don’t believe all the awful things that went down behind the scenes. We don’t know half of what these fucking greedy people put the boys through.

Side note: He also implies multiple times that Syco did fully own the band at some point. Which is confusing, because we obviously know how controlling the label was for them and how much they profited from One Direction, but I’m pretty sure the boys always owned at least part of the band, they created a company at the very beginning and they obviously still own it and earn from the band to this day. So I’d love to know what the deal actually was and what point this changed.

In reference to this

[crispyanonart]

I know I only post art here but for future reference here are some Stardew Valley headcanons:

Sebastian and Maru actually have a good relationship because their parents shortcomings aren't their shortcomings, in fact Maru looks up to Seby a lot because he's an introvert like her but managed to have a tight friend group

Leah and Haley get lost in conversations about lighting and composition. When Leah arrived in town they didn't care for each other at first but ended up bonding over their artsy interests. Haley lets Leah use her dark room to do experiments, and secretly thinks she's effortlessly very cool

Maru doesn't really hang out with the others but Abigail saw her out of her nurse attire while visiting Sebastian and started being interested in her. Maru also noticed her and contrary to popular belief she's the one who started flirting first

Elliott loves to surprise Leah with stunning vegetarian charcuterie boards, they actually plan little pic nic dates around it, she brings the wine and they spend the evening on the lake dock

Harvey and Emily kind of fuss over Shane and his wellbeing, and he pretends to hate it but he's secretly very grateful for their friendship and sometimes feels like they (and the farmer lol) are the only people who didn't give up on him. Emily in particular likes to make dark jokes about his situation and she's the only one who gets the pass from Shane for it.

Sebastian spent years pining HARD after Sam and at some point he thought he was just envious of how easily he bonded with people and was liked by everyone.

Sam is very physical, he gives the biggest hugs to everyone but he specifically loves to push Sebastian's buttons to the limit. Actually, Sam has a hidden kind of sadistic side to him when it comes to sabotaging Lewis' plans and flustering Seby.

Penny is NOT a girl's girl, but she kind of gets dragged along to plans with the gals because ohana means family and not even the Pick Me© girl gets left behind

Emily managed to make Harvey try *magic* mushrooms once. He enjoyed the experience despite having tremendous anxiety about the whole thing, he found it scientifically interesting. He wouldn't do it again tho

Alex was so sure he had the biggest crush on Haley for all his teen years but in reality he just admired her femininity and her style. Haley didn't reciprocate but liked the attention because he actually never made a move towards her, so they had this comfortable situation that fit society standards. They started having an honest friendship only after Alex's coming out

Emily is the biggest fan of the Goblin Destroyers and she offers to sew special merch for them. Sam, Seb and Abby are so grateful for her support

[bearw-me]

Can we have poly Asmodeus and fizarolli with a s/o who's a k-pop idol ?

my first polyyyy i'm so excited! bless anon!

𝐀𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐮𝐬 + 𝐅𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲!𝐇𝐜𝐬

𐐒 ft : (poly!) asmodeus x kpop idol!reader x fizzarolli 𐐒 cw : fluff, cuddling, slight angst 𐐒 summary : general hcs! 𐐒 note : may i be the first to say this was the most wholesome-heart squeezing thing ive ever written/imagined

Asmodeus arranges shows for you in his club in the Lust Ring, if you have time, and they are special events he doesn't host very often (mostly because he adores you and wants you to be shown off, but also because he hates the way his sinners view you in the Lust Ring: objectively)

He LOVES singing with you

Fizzarolli is the one to attend ALL your shows, waving his light sticks in the air happily, probably cheering the loudest.

Asmodeus doesn't really like PDA unless its for his shows or a performance out of respect for your public image, but Fizz is a little more weary, mostly because (like in the show) he doesn't want to be the one to drag the two of you down

They both LOVE your dances and choreography, and the fact you allow them to have opinions on your outfits.

Cuddle Hcs: Asmodeus loves to be in the middle, holding the two of your smaller bodies against him or both next to him on one side (he can definitely manage to wrap his arms around you both, so he does) and Fizz just likes having you both near him, having the smell and warmth of you both close is enough to have him finally fall asleep

If you're off on tour, Fizz has to call you every night and check in, holding you on the phone until you absolutely can't talk to him anymore (bonus if you just fall asleep with him and he can hear you snoring. it melts his heart) and he turns to Asmodeus until you're back

Despite being popular in hell themselves, Asmodeus and Fizz never actually try to "take advantage" of your fame, only support you when you need it

Your literal husbands

Fizz is clingy, while Asmodeus is a more possessive/jealous type

but also don't think Fizz will just stand there and let some guy try to eye-f*ck you either (he WILL strangle someone)

Asmodeus has a tattoo, or a mark on his chest, for the two of you

Fizz would love to manage your socials if you asked it of him (or give you opinions on your 'best' pictures)

Surprisingly, Asmodeus is the one who wears your merch (the most), mostly as a sleepy shirt, but he would wear it under his usual three-piece suit if he didn't feel like dressing that day

I feel like (obviously) As would rehearse your songs with you, giving you feedback on your notes and tone while you sang, While Fizz would help you with choreo!

Fizz likes to cuddle with you in bed, snuggling his face into your chest and vent about the day or what bothers him

Asmodeus loves to be involved with your career and brings you things you might need like body glitter or getting your nails done, even bringing you socks that match your outfit better.

The poly relationship would work really well, and Asmodeus and Fizz could really depend on each other when one of them wasn't their for you.

As feels like he needs to protect and be there for the two of you, and gets anxious or apprehensive when he's not there with you both

And Fizz knows he can depend on the both of you, comforted even if you both weren't physically there to hug him

[cheonstapes]

jjk men star in... 'IF YOU SEEK AMY' ( ˘ ɜ˘) ♬♪♫

a/n ~ i was listening to if you seek amy on repeat yesterday and was like omg what if i wrote abt that! music is my biggest inspo and i thought jjk guys would go best w this song~

summary; the men of jujutsu kaisen with a pretty, little, popstar.

wc; 1.2k+

pairings; various jjk men x fem!popstar!reader

cw; suggestive, descriptions of sex, oral sex, obsessive behaviour, reader getting harassed, hating, toji beats someone up for you💗, dirty gojo, NANAMIN!!!!, jjk men being supportive, reader is basically beyonce reincarnated, nawt proofread - been writing this all day

gojo as - the boyfriend

even if gojo was a hotshot sorcerer, constantly on the move, he always found time to admire his pretty little pop star girlfriend. front row tickets to all of your concerts, being the first one to buy your albums despite the fact that you always give him a copy way before it drops - he even had a hand in designing your merch, who knew your boyfriend was such a creative. he even has a fan account for you, with almost half a million followers, posting never before seen pics of you, cute ones of course - ones he’s taken of you. you don’t know about it, you don’t need to.  you especially don’t need to know about his other account, the one where he writes the filthiest stories about you. graphic descriptions about how well he would fuck you, how beautiful your body would look underneath him, the angelic moans you’d let out when he’d touch your gorgeous pussy. they’re all true, though, he is your boyfriend after all. people can write all the stories about you they want, but none of them truly know your body as well as gojo does.

nanami as - the manager

your manager, nanami, was pissed. pacing around his large office, growling down his phone at the poor lawyer on the other end - occasionally glancing at you as you sat quietly on the plush sofa, legs crossed as you scrolled through your phone. you weren’t happy though, scrolling through comments on your most recent posts. hate from insecure people who had nothing better to do with their lives was bearable - but now you had stalkers? these creepy ass guys who were constantly harassing you, threatening you, it was scary to say the least. you heard him slam the phone done onto the table, breathing slightly laboured in the midst of his anger. “i’ve dealt with those fuckers, they won’t bother you again sweetheart.” you smiled, it always calms him down whenever he sees your pretty smile. walking over to him, you hold his face in your hands, slowly leaning in to press a kiss on his soft lips, a hand running sensually down his broad chest over his dress shirt. “you always work so hard for me, babe. i think you deserve some lovin’ right now. just relax, ok?” having your man as your manager definitely comes with some perks, doesn’t it.

toji as - the bodyguard 

you loved attending events, getting to dress up with a team triple the size that you usually have was always such an experience. this time, the met gala was tomorrow and you couldn’t have been more excited. it was your third year in a row and each year your looks get better and better. this year, though? not even mystic meg could’ve predicted how utterly shit getting ready this year could’ve been. your dress, specially made for you by iris van herpen, was in ruins. they clearly didn’t do background checks on the people they had in your crew because he definitely wouldn’t have made it through in that case. a cute little intern, constantly singing praises of you, to your face at least. but he was plotting - coincidentally being placed in charge of taking care of your dress, and coincidentally blaming the heat gun for looking a little too much like a steamer. you were livid, and toji, your bodyguard, hated seeing you upset. he swore a zero tolerance policy for anyone who fucks with his little pop star, and that intern found out the hard way. you knew toji had some…unorthodox ways of dealing with things - not even phased when he comes back to you with dried blood staining his knuckles. only offering you a sexy grin and his arm, walking you back to the car to go pick up your new dress - “can’t wait to see what else they made ya princess, yer gonna be the most stunnin’ girl there.” 

geto as - the husband

geto made it very clear how much he hated going to these shows. he was only there for you, ignoring all the interviewers unless you were right there beside him, rejecting people left and right cause can they not see the goddess clinging onto his arm? but he did have to admit, he was a little excited this time around. a lot, actually, but if you knew that - he’d be at every award show from here on out. you’d been nominated for a grammy, artist of the year, and he was so, so proud of you. he held your hand tightly as they read out the nominees, thumb running along your knuckles. you always bite your lip when you were nervous, leg slightly jittery too, he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t nervous too. the announcer pulled out the card, pausing for dramatic effect, before reading out - “and the grammy goes to…y/n! congratulations!” geto’s eyes widen as screams erupted from the crowd, standing up as he smiles brightly at you, kissing you deeply. your celebrity friends congratulating you as you walked passed, making sure to drag geto on stage with you as you made your speech. he knew you would win, obviously, that’s why he was so prepared. booking the most extravagant restaurant he could find, choosing a private room for the two of you to dine alone - and so no one disturbed you both when he was showing you just how proud of you he really was.

choso as - the fan

choso loved his job. working at the bar where celebs came to get absolutely wasted, he had so much shit to talk about after work. but what he didn’t expect was to see his favourite singer, you, actually walk in that night. it wasn’t a secret that choso was quite literally obsessed with you, always asking if anyone saw you at the bar when he wasn’t working, and if they did - get him an autograph or even a little shout out video. he would listen to your music on the way to work, scrolling through your instagram and taking screenshots of pics that could be potential new wallpapers. he thought you were the most beautiful thing on earth, even saving himself just in case he ever got a chance to be with you for even one night. wishes surely do come true, he couldn’t even find it in him to respond as he stared at your glossy lips, you were asking to buy a drink but he was only thinking about leaning over to bar and kissing you until you couldn’t breathe. “d-drink? oh, sorry, n-no problem!” he made a mental note of your drink, making sure it was the best you’ve ever had. he paused as you pulled out your card, stammering as he waved his hands frantically. “wait! it’s-it’s on the house. i’m a…i really like your music, it’s the least i can do.” you couldn’t help but giggle, he was cute, very cute. you didn’t point out that you can see your face on his home screen, only leaning across the bar to get closer. “you’re too sweet, but please, let me do something for you in return. it’s the least i can do.” he looks dumbfounded, opening and closing his mouth before saying, “j-just an autograph and a picture would do, if that’s ok.” 

he changed his wallpaper that same night, you on your knees slobbering over his virgin cock. he couldn’t wait to see you again, trailing a finger over the autograph you gave him, your number written right underneath. saving himself for you was so worth it.

-haha hehe haha ho

[mistydeyes]

hey, can i please request headcanons of 141 boys with reader that is a youtuber?

omg yes ofc! i used to (and still am) a HUGE YOUTUBE WATCHER so this was so fun to do :) thank you again for requesting!

vidcon but the uk version

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summary: You're not any regular civilian, you're a Youtuber ;) In all seriousness, here's some headcanons of how the boys interact with your channel and support you!

pairing: 141 x YouTuber!Reader

warnings: swearing

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price - beauty and skincare

you were already big on YouTube when you met John

he can't go into a Sephora without someone mentioning your latest video or TikTok

someone would assume you were an employee based on how you were able to help the fan pick out the best skincare and makeup

he was shocked at the sheer number of brand deals you participate in

he also is in awe at the corner you had dedicated to your ring light and makeup desk with a nice camera set-up

when you eventually move in together, he's just used to the number of parcels you get daily

he will insist on at least giving you some money when you do a beauty haul (even though you tell him you don't need it)

one time he tried to surprise you by picking out some things that you mentioned

now your most popular video is “trying out makeup that my boyfriend picked out”

his only annoyance is when you accidentally stain one of the face towels

eventually just buys a new set meant specifically for you when you wash off a look

you're planning on having a new video where you do skincare on him and finally get at some of his blackheads

soap - gaming

prior to meeting Johnny, you already had a sizable channel

you primarily did long lets plays and the occasional stream

your setup is absolutely gorgeous -i'm talking led lights, two monitors that have the best processing power, pro gaming chair, and posters

it took awhile to curate but it's your baby and you make sure he knows that

loves watching you game and will occasionally keep you company for those long streams

it reminds him of when his younger siblings would watch him game on their early Playstation and X-Box consoles

your subscribers love when he's there though because he has the best reactions

your most popular video? "my boyfriend plays five nights at freddy's ⚠️headphone warning⚠️"

despite having amazing technical skills on the field, his multitasking sucked and he would always forget to check on foxy or overuse the battery

you had a great time editing the video after and emphasizing the jumpscares

he won't subject you to rewatching your videos with him but he likes watching other channels or collars you've done

"This guy is absolute shite" "I know, that's why I don't play multiplayer with him anymore"

he'll be so excited if you ever get invited to a big event like Pax, E3, or Gamescom

you basically have to keep him on track as he loves stopping in artist's alley and looking at all the trinkets and merch people are selling

make sure to bring a huge suitcase because your game room is getting a few new additions

gaz - internet documentaries

think of Internet Historian or Down the Rabbit Hole vibe

your channel is dedicated to internet phenomena like Florida Man or the movement to Storm Area 51

you'd tell the facts of the trend and then add a few funny commentary pieces

usually your videos are 45 min to an 1 hr long so a lot of work goes into it

it's more of a hobby than anything but Kyle always thinks the amount of research you do for it is insane

"Babe I think you need a new laptop" "Why?" "I always know you're about to make a new docu-series because it sounds like a fucking airplane takin off"

once your laptop doesn't sound like its going to blow up, he'll be sure to keep you company as you write down your script

"Did you know that there was a convention for X or X happened?" is how most of your conversations go

he'll always smile and let you give him a spark notes version of what happened

will be the one telling you too sleep and that you can continue editing tomorrow

loves when companies send you things for ad reads

hoards all of the items from Dollar Shave Club and Raycon (his absolute favorite sponsor of yours)

he'll occasionally watch your videos while he's cooking or at the gym

always loves learning something new even if its about a failed furry convention

"I liked your latest video" is such a huge compliment from him because he knows how much effort you put into it

he'll occasionally feed you ideas that he sees while he's scrolling through social media

"You should do something on Hat Man" "WHO??" "Yk the guy you see when you take too much Benadryl, apparently Soap sees him too"

ghost - asmr

tbh doesn’t think much about your channel

you’ll just occasionally leave the room to record or crack some slime in front of a camera

however when your channel is mentioned in conversation, he considers revisiting

“have you heard about this asmr thing?” Gaz asked the group and Soap immediately interjected

“OH YEAH some of them are amazing to watch alone,” he said with a wink

“Like this account-“ Soap wasn’t able to finish his sentence before Ghost snatched the phone out of his hand

“Sorry just couldn’t see it” he apologized and he tried to suppress his disgust that someone else was listening to you at night like that

after that, he takes another look and watches a few of your more popular videos

ofc its your series roleplaying as a nurse or doctor taking care of someone

as well as one where you act like a sleepy girlfriend waking up next to their significant other

he will never say that he watches your videos but you do notice the uptick in views and likes (it's a cute little secret of his)

one time you attempted to ask all these questions about being in the military to help you write dialogue for your latest combat medic series

"People seriously want stuff like that?" "You'll be surprised, not tell me what you usually have in your pack"

he will cringe when you pull your asmr voice on him and whisper in your ear

"Cut that shit out."

[allyallyorange]

Back at it with Ateez AT AU

Hongjoong in a band + meeting Seonghwa

Read what @nnnnnnnothingtoseehere wrote cus its fun

Hongjoong blames the enormous box of posters in his hands. It’s big enough to entirely block his view of his own feet, and he can’t even see the raised section of the pavement until it’s too late. 

He hits the ground hard, posters spilling out of the box and rolling away. His hands took most of the fall, which is better than his face. 

He sits up slowly, hissing at the sight of his own scuffed up palms. He’s thankful it’s just his palms; he definitely needs his fingers for tonight. 

His palms will have to wait; he has multiple posters suddenly making a break for freedom. 

As Hongjoong staggers to his feet, he has a brief moment of thankfulness for the fact that the venue they’re performing at is located on a quieter street. There aren’t many pedestrians around, meaning less people to potentially step on the posters. 

He still breaks into a jog to try and catch some of them before they roll into the street. Not too fast though; rock stars don’t run. 

He has to bend down to gather up the posters, and soon has an armful. He is straightening up to bring them back to the box when he realizes there’s someone helping him. 

Hongjoong can’t see much of the stranger at the moment, white hair falling into his face as he scoops up several posters. He’s wearing an oversized black and white striped shirt, the demon notices absently, and has a tote bag slung over one shoulder that threatens to fall off as he reaches for another poster. 

The stranger stands up fully, allowing Hongjoong to actually get a look at him. 

He’s clearly human; Hongjoong could tell that just from his skin tone. Besides that, the demon can only make vague guesses about his age. He seems young-ish, but Hongjoong honestly has no idea. Besides that, he has incredibly round eyes, and an awkward smile. 

“Do you have somewhere to put these?” the stranger asks, lifting his armful of posters slightly. 

“Uh, yeah,” Hongjoong answers. 

He immediately turns on his heel, heading back to the box that he left on the ground beside the merch stand. He drops his bunch of posters into the box, suddenly very self conscious about everything he is doing. 

The stranger has followed him, and proceeds to kneel down beside the box to put his armful of posters away, making sure they’re neatly in place. 

Hongjoong stands there watching him for a second before he realizes he’s being weird. He heads back out to gather up the last few posters, returning to hand them to the very detail-oriented stranger. 

“There we go,” he finally says once the last roll is put away. “All done.” 

He stands up then, and Hongjoong realizes very quickly that he is several inches taller than him, despite his boots. He knew he should have gone with the three-inch heel. 

 “I’m Seonghwa, by the way,” the stranger says with another smile.

He sticks his hand out, and Hongjoong tries to take it in a cool and nonchalant manner. 

“I’m Hongjoong,” Hongjoong answers. 

“Nice to meet you, Hongjoong,” Seonghwa says easily. “I like your outfit.” 

Hongjoong can’t resist grinning at the compliment. He likes his outfit too, and may be wearing it hours before he needs to because he likes it that much. 

“Thanks,” he replies. “I like your hair.”

Seonghwa laughs slightly at that and thanks him, reaching up to comb his hair back with one hand. 

“So, what is all the paper for?” he asks, gesturing to the box on the ground between them. 

“They’re posters,” Hongjoong tells him. “I’m setting up the merch stand.” 

He steps slightly to the side so Seonghwa can see the table and booth behind him, already half-covered in t-shirts. 

“Oh,” Seonghwa says, eyes widening. “The Demon Prince? Is that the name of a show?” 

“A band,” Hongjoong corrects. “My band, actually.” 

“Really?” Seonghwa’s whole face lights up in excitement. “You’re the front man?” 

Hongjoong nods proudly, maybe sticking out his chest a little more. 

“What kind of music do you play?” Seonghwa asks, tilting his head as he waits for Hongjoong’s answer. 

“Rock,” Hongjoong answers easily. “Sometimes I switch it up a little, but I’m keeping in a more hardcore punk vein right now.” 

Seonghwa makes suitably impressed noises, and Hongjoong congratulates himself mentally for doing so well at this. This is easy! 

“Rock can be a really nebulous term,” he continues. “I don’t really care for some of the more laid back stuff that people call ‘rock’. Things like that misrepresent the genre and are just bad press in a lot of ways.” 

Hongjoong can feel himself loosening up as he talks; he knows about this kind of stuff and is very comfortable talking about it. He widens his stance slightly, leaning against the booth wall behind him and incorporating a few hand gestures. 

“I’m sorry for interrupting,” Seonghwa interjects after a few moments. “But you hurt your hands.” 

Hongjoong had honestly forgotten about his scraped-up palms. He flips his hands over, noting the way some of the deeper scratches are now oozing blood. 

“Oh yeah,” he says casually. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not,” Seonghwa tells him. He has stepped closer, and now reaches out to take one of Hongjoong’s hands, his touch gentle. 

The demon immediately freezes, incredibly aware of how small his hands look next to Seonghwa’s much bigger ones. 

“You should really wash them off,” Seonghwa is saying, bending over slightly to get a better look. “You don’t want anything to get infected.” 

“Yeah, I was planning on it,” Hongjoong answers. “There’s a sink inside and stuff.” 

He may have seen one briefly. He honestly isn’t sure. 

For a split second he’s sure Seonghwa is going to haul him to the possibly-imaginary sink right then and there. The human doesn’t, instead letting go of Hongjoong’s hand to dig in his tote bag briefly. 

“I thought I had some,” he mutters, pulling the bag halfway off his shoulder to look inside better. “Oh, here they are!” 

He triumphantly holds up a small plastic container decorated with cartoon animals. Hongjoong blinks at it for a second. 

“What is it?” he asks flatly. 

“They’re bandaids,” Seonghwa tells him, opening the container. “You’re going to need something if you have to play tonight.” 

“Oh,” Hongjoong says. “I guess you’re right.” 

Seonghwa gives him another smile, as well as a small handful of bandaids. 

“Thanks,” Hongjoong tells him, slipping them into his pocket. 

“Of course,” Seonghwa replies. “I’m glad I carry them.” 

Hongjoong watches as he puts the container back in his bag, then adjusts the strap so it hangs comfortably again. 

“Hey,” Hongjoong says abruptly, getting Seonghwa’s attention again. “Do you want to come to the show?” 

“Me?” Seonghwa asks, blinking a few times. 

“Yeah,” Hongjoong says. He doesn’t know who else the human thinks he could be talking to. “It starts at 8 tonight, right here.” 

He pauses for a second. 

“Well, not right here,” he quickly amends. “But at this venue.” 

“I knew what you meant,” Seonghwa assures him. “And while I would love to, I can’t. I have a kid at home, and he doesn’t like crowds at all.” 

Hongjoong nods slowly, thinking quickly over everything he knows about human children. It’s really not much, but he does know it’s probably not a good idea to leave babies alone at home for a long time. 

“That’s cool,” he replies, hoping this comes across as a nonchalant and normal response. 

Seonghwa clearly takes this to mean that Hongjoong thinks children as a whole are cool and that he definitely wants to hear more about them, his whole expression immediately brightening. 

“He’s a really sweet kid,” the human says, digging in his bag again. “Here’s a picture of him when he was little.” 

He holds out a small, well-loved picture, the edges tattered and almost soft. Hongjoong leans forward slightly, squinting at the miniature human who is in turn squinting at the camera in the picture. The demon can’t really make out much of their face, but he supposes they’re rather cute. 

“Nice,” he says vaguely, leaning back. 

“He’s a lot bigger now,” Seonghwa says, flipping the picture back around to look at it for a moment. “I think I have another picture somewhere-” 

“I’m good,” Hongjoong hurriedly says. “I don’t really like kids.” 

“Ahh,” Seonghwa replies, carefully putting the picture back in his bag. 

The conversation kind of dies there, with the two of them just awkwardly looking at each other, the box of posters, then each other again. 

“Do you want a poster?” Hongjoong finally says, desperate to break the silence somehow. “Since you can’t come and did help me pick all of them up.” 

“Oh,” Seonghwa says, looking down at the rolled up posters. “I didn’t realize they were posters.” 

Hongjoong laughs awkwardly at that, bending down to pick one up quickly. 

“Here,” he says roughly. 

Seonghwa takes it with a smile, thanking Hongjoong. 

“I’ll have to hang it up,” he says. “It’s not every day I meet a real rockstar.”

Hongjoong does his best to push down the immediate rush of glee that comes from the human’s words. He should definitely be totally normal about being called a rockstar; he is one, after all. 

“Hah, yeah,” he answers. “And I bet you don’t give other rockstars bandaids either.” 

Seonghwa laughs, but the demon is immediately kicking himself mentally for saying something so dumb. 

“No, you’re definitely right,” Seonghwa agrees. “I’ll certainly enjoy knowing you’ll be performing with gecko bandaids. Not every rockstar can pull that off, but I think you can.” 

Hongjoong can’t stop himself from flushing at the compliment, and he does his best to brush it off as well as he can. 

“Yeah, well,” he ends up saying. “A sense of style comes with the territory.”  

Seonghwa laughs again at that, and Hongjoong notices distantly that he looks really nice smiling like that. The thought is strange, and he shakes his head slightly to clear it. 

“So are you going to set these out?” Seonghwa asks, waggling the poster now cradled carefully in his hands. 

“That’s the plan,” Hongjoong tells him. He glances over his shoulder at the rest of the table. “I should get some of my bandmates to help.” 

“I could,” Seonghwa offers quickly, looking a little surprised by his own suggestion. “If you’re ok with it, that is.” 

“Uh, sure,” Hongjoong says, running a hand through his hair. “If you want to.” 

Seonghwa immediately nods, gaze flicking between Hongjoong’s face and the table behind him. 

“I like organizing things,” he says in explanation. “And I’ve organized everything at home already.” 

“Well, do you want to do the t-shirts?” Hongjoong asks. He steps around to the other side of the table, with Seonghwa doing the same but on the front end. 

“How do you want them?” the human immediately asks, eyes practically sparkling. 

“I mean, they’re all the same,” Hongjoong tells him. “I was just going to set them in piles.” 

“They come in different sizes, though,” Seonghwa points out, picking up the closest shirt. “This one is a small; you wouldn’t want it in with the larges.” 

Sizing hadn’t occurred to Hongjoong at all. He quickly tries to come up with a cool way to downplay this flaw in his thinking. 

“Do whatever you want,” he finally says, waving one hand. 

He probably should have kept the hand gestures to a minimum. The movement agitated his scuffed-up palms, and Seonghwa notices his slight grimace of discomfort. 

“You should go wash your hands off now,” he says, dragging the closest stack of t-shirts forward on the table. “I can watch things here.” 

Hongjoong is opening his mouth to say that it really doesn’t hurt when Seonghwa fixes him with a stern look. 

“Go wash them,” he says firmly. “You’ll get blood all over things if you don’t.” 

Something in his voice has Hongjoong automatically turning before he can even fully register what he’s doing, heading for the door that he left propped open. 

About halfway down the hallway inside, he begins to feel a little stupid. But he does need to wash his hands, and Seonghwa made a good point about getting blood on the merch. 

He spends most of the time washing his hands wondering if he could charge extra for bloodstained t-shirts and posters.

By the time he emerges from the building, Seonghwa has unboxed every t-shirt they have and laid them all neatly out in orderly stacks. He has moved on to organizing the posters, and looks up when Hongjoong steps closer to the table. 

“Did you wash your hands?” he asks, raising an eyebrow expectantly. 

Hongjoong finds himself holding out his hands for Seonghwa to inspect, feeling curiously like a little kid again. 

“Good job,” Seonghwa tells him. “Do you want help putting on the bandaids?” 

“I’m fine,” Hongjoong replies gruffly, already reaching into his pocket for the bandaids. 

Seonghwa watches him for a long moment, but doesn’t say anything. Hongjoong focuses on the bandaids in his hands, having to figure out how to open them first. 

He is surprised to learn that Seonghwa wasn’t joking about the bandaids. The first one he opens is covered in bright orange lizards, presumably geckos. 

No one will see his palms anyways, he quickly decides. And if he really ends up hating them, he can just take them off once Seonghwa leaves. 

Hongjoong puts the bandaids on as well as he can, frustrated at how inexpertly placed most of them are. It’s hard to put them on yourself, and he may regret refusing Seonghwa’s help. However, he does have a reputation to uphold, and so he struggles through the whole handful. 

When his scrapes are covered by various colorful geckos, he stuffs the bandaid scraps into his pocket. 

“Could you look over the t-shirts?” Seonghwa asks, nodding at that half of the table. “I want to make sure you like how I did it.” 

Hongjoong steps closer to the table, slowing down to really look at the neat stacks of t-shirts. They are incredibly exact; the demon wonders absently if Seonghwa has a ruler somewhere in his bag. He wouldn’t be surprised if he did. 

“Looks good,” he says, glancing over at the human. “Very precise.” 

Seonghwa flushes slightly at that, grinning. Hongjoong can feel his own cheeks heating up as well. 

“Thanks,” Seonghwa replies. “Is there anything else, or just the posters?” 

“Just the posters,” Hongjoong tells him. “I couldn’t line up any more merch unfortunately.” 

“What else would you have liked to do?” Seonghwa asks, glancing at him briefly before looking back at the neat rolls of posters in front of him. 

Hongjoong relaxes now that he is back in familiar territory. He easily launches into his plans for future merchandise, which include everything from hoodies to hats to shoes. Seonghwa makes all the right noises at the right times, occasionally asking questions to show that he is still listening. 

They talk like that for quite a while, long enough that Hongjoong loses track of time. He is only reminded of how late it’s getting when he realizes that the light has definitely changed to that distinctive late afternoon color. 

Unfortunately Seonghwa notices right at the same time. 

“It’s getting late,” he says with a bit of worry in his voice. “I should be getting back to Yeosang. He’s probably worried.” 

Hongjoong blinks at him, entirely unsure of who Yeosang is. 

Seonghwa doesn’t seem to notice, too busy looking over the merch table one last time as if he’s making sure nothing has moved. 

“Thanks for letting me organize things,” he says with a smile. “It was a lot of fun.” 

“No problem,” Hongjoong tells him. “I wasn’t going to stop you.” 

Seonghwa laughs at that, taking a half step back from the table. 

“Wait,” Hongjoong calls out before he can walk any further away. “Don’t forget your poster.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes immediately widen, and he retraces his few steps to take a rolled-up poster from Hongjoong’s hands. 

“Thanks for catching that,” he says with a relieved laugh. “I would have been so mad at myself if I’d forgotten.” 

Hongjoong laughs awkwardly at that, watching as Seonghwa carefully puts the poster in his bag, making sure it won’t get hurt. 

“You should come to our next show,” he blurts out. “Because you can’t make it to this one.” 

“I would like to,” Seonghwa tells him. “I really want to see what you’re like on stage.” 

Hongjoong distantly manages to form a coherent reply to that, doing his best to keep from jumping up and down from excitement. 

After his reply, the conversation kind of falls flat again. Hongjoong watches as Seonghwa’s gaze drops to the table again, one hand coming up to adjust his bag’s strap absently. 

“Well I really should be going,” he finally says, making eye contact with Hongjoong. “It was really nice to meet you.” 

“You too,” Hongjoong says awkwardly. “Thanks for helping with all of this.” 

He waves a hand vaguely, encompassing the table and everything on it. 

“You’re welcome,” Seonghwa says with a smile. “Like I said, it’s not every day I get to meet a real life rockstar.” 

Hongjoong chuckles at that, trying to seem cool again as he raises a hand to run through his hair. 

“It’s not every day I meet someone who carries gecko bandaids,” he points out, earning a genuine laugh and smile from Seonghwa. 

“Very true,” the human admits. “I guess we both had crazy experiences today.” 

They exchange mildly awkward goodbyes, and even more awkward waves when Seonghwa turns around halfway to the street and finds Hongjoong still watching him. 

In Hongjoong’s defense, he can’t just leave the whole merch table set up and unattended. That would be poor business practice. 

And maybe he just wanted to watch Seonghwa head off, poster sticking out of his tote bag. 

[thelesbianthespianposts]

Rating superhero/villain dynamics on how gay they are

Batman/Joker:

do i even have to say it. Usually they have a pretty one sided thing with Joker being high-key obsessed with him but Batman has no interest in that at all. Way overhyped imo. bonus points for the Lego Batman Movie 7/10

Superman/Lex Luthor

despite many factors and the fact they have a son together, there’s not a lot of tension. Plus Lex gives major homophobic vibes, (he’d make pride lexcorp merch while backing don’t say gay bills)

2/10 for kon

Green Lantern(Hal Jordan)/Sinestro

oh my god. They have the whole friends to enemies thing that you could swap for lovers to enemies so easily. The worst exes you’ve ever seen. I think they’re actually a couple in some comics (prolly an AU). That one episode of DC Super Hero Girls (the new one) where Hal fights both Sinestro and Carol and they’re said to be on the same level. good shit

10/10

Wonder Woman/Cheetah

it depends on the comic. Sometimes they’re very flirty and suggestive and other times they’re tearing each other’s clothes off bc the male author thought it’d be hot. I think that goes for a lot of woman/woman dynamics in comics tho. I honestly don’t get sometimes why they’re fighting bc they seem to have a lot in common.

6/10 they should just date

Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson

Jesus Christ guys wtf are y’all doing. They have the funniest dynamic in all of DC comics. Old ass ‘nam vet picks fight with 15 year old who he blames his son’s death on. While I adore the 2003 teen titans show, they got the dynamic so wrong. Their dynamic only becomes homoerotic once Dick is an adult. They have profound respect for each other but they also fucking hate each other. They’re enemies, they’re friends, they’re co-parents, they’re the least mentally stable people you’ve even seen.

20/10 unparalleled

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

Hi! Love your posts. Can you write crush headcanons for each of the turtles, like how they develop it, how they may act around them, and maybe ask them out? Thank you! Hope you have a great day!

TMNT crush headcanons:

Leonardo:

• Leo developes slow but meaningful crushes! He's very careful, and guarded of his feelings similar to Raph, but in his own way. His crush starts with feeling inspired by his person of interest, someone who makes him want to better himself in any way by either observing their passions, talents, and skills, or who encourages his limits to discover his own.

• He's thoughtful but very subtle about his affections towards someone, he doesn't exactly want them to know

• Observant, attentive, and a classic romantic is how he is—that last part, in his fantasies, at least. He dreams about being able to provide everything his crush could want or need, even though he can't always do so due to how they live

• Leo asks his crush out after a series of escalating gestures of love so it doesn't really catch them off guard. Asks them to meet him alone to talk because he has something important to say, and then makes the confession.

• "I know you have to know what I'm going to say, you're nervous, I can tell...I probably shouldn't have been so cryptic when I asked you to meet me in the dojo by yourself." He softens his posture a bit, to seem less tense. He'd lit several dozen candles scattered all over the room, partially for himself while he meditated to calm his mind a little, mostly to create an atmosphere. "You've become a close friend of mine despite everything, you know you're always welcome in our home, right? And you can come whenever." There's an awkward pause—he doesn't know how to continue with what he's saying. "Ah, anyways—I was saying...I enjoy your company, I would be honored to show you some stuff I know, in exchange for some of your time. Only if you'd like." God, he hoped that you would.

Michelangelo:

• Mikey couldn't hide his growing feelings, even if he wanted to. And it didn't take much for him to fall fast and hard for his crush; the attention he got was addictive and he wanted to give it back tenfold! He always wanted to feel wanted and accepted by others, so even though he couldn't have that from the rest of the human world, the fact that he had that from you was more than enough for him. He was grateful.

• He's his crush's biggest fan!! If there were merch, he'd wear it proudly even if it embarrassed you

• Creative and artistic; he painted and redesigned one of his old longboards just for you. It had some of his old pop-art on it, graffiti style, random sketches and doodles, and every sticker he could find. He tried to remember everything you liked to put it on the things he gave you, whether it were poster collages he made for his wall art or putting love onto the bottom of a skateboard. Big gift giver, so expect to get a LOT of stuff from him—even sentimental items he's nostalgic over, even if you feel bad to receive those things from him. He has a lot to give. 😌

• Mikey confesses by accident one day when he doesn't even mean to—he's playing around with you as usual and gets talkative when he's feeling excited, so it just slips out. Mid-play.

• "Ha-hah! That's what I'm taking about, I love you, Y/N!" There's a pause where it has to compute for a second. "Wait, did I just say that out loud?" He's serious for a moment—he can't believe he actually said that. But the next beat, he's back to smiling at you, laughing, maybe trying to deflect the hint of embarrassment he felt (which was rare for Mikey). "Yeah, I did say that out loud, I guess. Whoops...oh—now, tag, you're it!"

Donatello:

• Despite his brains and his intellectual nature, Donnie is an emotional person and actually falls in love almost immediately when he encounters that perfect person. He gets stars in his eyes and runs his own compatibility tests through his mind as he learns more about them, and annoyingly, they're stuck on his mind even when he's trying to work on his experiments and projects.

• Helpful, playful, a little stingy with your time lol—when he wants to spend time with his crush, he wants his brothers away because they take the limelight without thinking sometimes. Always offering to help you with homework or if you need anything fixed around the house, he's volunteering for that. Broken cabinet? Fixed. Wifi isn't working? No problem. Pipes under your sink leaking? He's been fixing up the Lair for years!

• Donnie is not shy. Let's say that rn. He's 👏 confident 👏. He's a little bit of a showoff competing with his brothers to snatch your attention, even if it's just games.

• He asks you if you'll have him on a date one night on your way out of the sewers. He'd been looking for the prime time to hit you with the question and was a little nervous to do it with his peers around, so he dropped the question when you went to leave for the night. "I know you're leaving—and this will only take a minute! But I had something to ask you." He lets you get curious. He holds up the keys to his prized possession, the Shellraiser, that he dreamed about driving you around in. "Ever gone on a joyride through New York in a souped-up garbage truck? No?...do you, maybe, want to do it with me? As a friend thing? Or maybe as more than just...friends?"

Raphael:

• Raph was completely UNready to admit he was getting soft for you. Or ready to commit to feeling the uncomfortable—but tantalizing—feelings you gave him. In honesty, for a good long while, Raph didn't let you know in the slightest he was getting his heart stolen over the course of the months he knew you.

• Very much puts off his crush with his prickly demeanor. But underneath that tough exterior, he's secretly taking every chance he can get to try to impress you in the ways he knows how; if there's any heavy lifting to be done, you bet he's volunteering himself out for that before anyone else can.

• Acts too good for sappy things until the moment his crush is being vulnerable—it disarms him, he's a protector at heart. He wants to be your shield from everything bad in the world, which is a lot.

• Raph plays the long game with his crush hinting over and over again he's in love, with no luck at times. It frustrates him but it's a challenge. He won't be outright and say it; everything he does is subtle, but the second your back is turned, he's making it known he's got your attention just to pull one over on his brothers (in good humor!)

• Makes his crush work with him to get the confession out, low-key. He makes you guess until you finally start to piece everything together. He will not be saying it with his words, but he'll definitely show it.

• "Y/N. C'mere," he says. "What're you still doing here this late, dummy? Already said it's not safe to walk home alone." Silence. "Agh, I did it again. Ignore my crap. But I mean it, stop goin' home alone, you know I told you I'd come too. And if I ain't available then I'm making Mikey go. Hear me? Stop acting like it's a burden or whatever..." He's kicking himself mentally for being unable to say what he actually wants to say. He ruffles your hair roughly to deflect. "See, now ya look silly like you act. Come on, let's go. I like you better safe in one piece than ending up in the back of some guy's van."

I lost all of my TMNT gifs from my old phone 😭 The post feels bare without it, but anyways, this is my first post in over a year so i hope it's good! 🐢🐢🐢🐢