#EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM I'M TAKEN BACK TO THAT MOMENT

[sunflowersoap]

back on my bullshit once again. thinks about how the headspace gangs reaction to starting to forget basil can probably tell you a lot about them.

for example, aubrey being EXTREMELY protective over that flower crown. her absolute rage at kel for kicking it off. her thinking "it used to belong to someone, we should return it." very similar to "how DARE basil ruin all our photos! they used to belong to all of us, and he throws us all out like we were nothing! he doesn't even care! he turned his back on all of us! on mari! she used to be here! she used to be a part of our lives! you think just because she isn't here you can just throw everything away? why don't you care? why don't you CARE?!"

her attachment to objects makes me think she values gift giving as a love language. this thing was so important to them, so I'll give it back. I'll give them this to show I care. this thing is special. it's not just an object to her, it's a physical display of their affection. so losing that object feels like losing the last bit of that love.

her being so intent on returning that flower crown even if it's broken and damaged. because someone loved it, so it must be special. her extreme protectiveness was still there, but now it was in a more destructive way. she's so protective of mari and her memory that she assumes the worst of everyone, because everyone pulling away and abandoning her or acting like everything was okay didn't just feel like a betrayal to her. she felt like they were betraying mari. that's why it pissed her off so bad when kel said think of how mari would feel. because oh, NOW you want to think of how mari would feel? NOW??

kel remembering the pictures also sticks out to me. he remembers basils words, even if his memories are so foggy. he has an attachment to those memories. this can also possibly tell us something about him. he doesn't hold on to objects as much as aubrey does, but those memories are everything to him. he listens, he holds all those moments so close to him. even when he's forgetting basil, he remembers all those little quirks he loves. he listened intently to basil, he cherished every single moment. he remembers his favorite things and why he does things and little details about him. even if he's forgetting the fact basil takes pictures, he remembers that they have pictures and WHY they were taken. his focus isn't really on the photo album in the real world. it's on the fact basil is sad and aubrey is so much different. his attachment isn't about the object. it's about the fact it means a lot to BASIL. that's why he wants it back. it makes basil happy. he doesn't understand why aubrey would do it, because his attachment was never to the album. it was "this makes basil happy and brings him joy. he loves this thing. he loves talking about it." so he memorized all his rambling about it. he isn't as attached to the album itself as aubrey is. it wasn't about the photos to kel, it was about spending time with basil. so to him, aubrey's anger seems irrational. it's honestly kinda like different love languages. hers is gift giving, his is quality time. so it doesn't make sense to him. it's basils thing. why would she steal it? it's his passion.

hero, if I'm recalling correctly, doesn't really need to be reminded of basil at the last resort. even while he's forgetting him more and more, he's keeping the group on task. he's bringing up the worry about forgetting things about basil. he looks out for basil. he's trying to keep the group positive. that's what he's trying to do. looking out for basil even when everything's becoming a blur. protecting him even when he isn't there. that's how you see heros love for basil manifest. protecting him. he jumps in to save basil with no hesitation. he tries to solve the fight between aubrey and basil. he looks out for basils health and safety. even if he doesn't know much about basil anymore, even if he's changing, he looks out for him. no matter how difficult it is, he protects him. because if basil can't protect himself, he'll do it. because basils his best friend and he loves him and he needs someone who looks out for him. if basil can't protect himself, he'll help as much as he can. even when he can barely remember him, he remembers he needs his help and THATS enough to keep going.

sunny? simple. he knows basil so fucking well. he knows basil talked to him about things he never talked to about anything else. he's terrified about something happening to basil, enough to have so many rooms of him dying horribly as worst fears. he feels like he can't save their relationship so he runs from it. he knows all of basils worst fears. he knows how trusting basil was of him. he knows how much basil cared about "who he thought he was" (despite what his mental illness makes him think, it's who he IS. not what he thinks he is.) he knows basil like the back of his own hand. he knows his worst traits, he knows his worst fears, he knows his pains and his insecurities and his guilt and his grief. THATS how sunny expresses care and his love language. knowing someone to that degree and listening.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I just think this game and the way different characters show love is very interesting.

[nori-the-cat]

RIIZE Eunseok's Career (Requested)

Remember, tarot readings should be taken with a grain of salt.

How does Eunseok feel to be in RIIZE?

Card(s): justice rx, 3oS, 5oS, 10oC rx, and 4oW

I was hoping for a happy tarot reading, but this one makes me feel a bit sad.

While I was doing the tarot reading, I listened to "Little Light" by Doyoung. There's a line in the song that says, "When the light turns on, I hope every day feels like that day. Because your breath and voice shine too, they'll light up a path in the dark and you'll find your way." I think he might be feeling a little worn out lately.

He might be feeling a mix of emotions about his role in the group. He could think that things aren't fair like he’s not getting the same chances or recognition as others. This might be making him feel hurt, especially if he was hoping for a specific role in a performance but didn’t get it.

There’s also a lot of tension and conflict around him. He might be feeling the stress of having to compete and stand out, and there could be disagreements within the group or with the management.

These work issues are likely affecting his happiness and sense of belonging. He might feel disconnected from the group and struggle to match his personal goals with the group's direction.

However, there is hope. Despite the challenges, Eunseok might find moments of joy and support from fans, family, or certain group members. Successful performances and celebrations can give him a sense of achievement and remind him why he chose this career.

I heard him say, "I want to be free and fly like a bird." That's why I picked those pictures and felt really comforted listening to Doyoung's latest album. I think Eunseok needs comfort and support right now.

What's going on in his career?

Card(s): the tower, QoW, and the devil

Alright, from these tarot cards, it seems like Eunseok is stuck in the past. He's still thinking about a member taking a break, the scandals, rumours, and his own issues (the rumours and scandals of his own). He feels like he's in a state of limbo.

I think SM Entertainment appointed him to be RIIZE leader, at least for now. During this time, he has to become a strong and charismatic leader, helping the group get back on track. But he is struggling with the darker side of fame, such as the temptation to conform to industry pressures. In this challenging period, he's learning to use his strength and weaknesses into an opportunity for personal and professional growth.

I had a feeling that SM Entertainment had chosen a temporary leader, and it was likely between Sungchan and Eunseok. But my gut feeling leaned more towards Eunseok. So now, it seems Eunseok is the current leader of RIIZE, while Sungchan used to lead before. It seems they might have been taking turns looking after the group.

What are Eunseok's career plans, goals and aspirations?

Card(s): 4oC rx, 3oS, 10oC, the star rx, and judgement

I don't think he's very ambitious at the moment. He doesn't seem to be into anything specific right now. He just wants to be happy and emotionally satisfied. The star card is upside down, which suggests he's not into fame, flashy stuff, or big attention.

He's going through a lot with a missing member, his own scandals, and rumours. Honestly, he just needs some rest and maybe some professional help. I hear him sighing a lot. He even said, "I'm so exhausted. I just want to take a break."

Also, he might be thinking about how to use his talents and opportunities to the fullest. He could be considering long-term goals and dreams that go beyond just RIIZE's current success.

Channelled songs for Eunseok:

This is a tarot reading request for moots @mrseokstone ♡

[eleonoraalbright]

Do You Want To Know A Secret?

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x fem!reader

Excerpt: You felt a deep sense of sadness settle in the bottom of your stomach, for now you were convinced that he only saw you as a friend. Perhaps if you had the tiniest bit of courage, you could tell Peter about your secret crush on him.

Your window was opened to the warm evening air, and the grounds of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters was a peaceful sight. Kids and teenagers were scattered on the lawn, either playing frisbee or basketball, some sat in circles laughing at the antics of those around them. All of the students seemed content and happy.

You weren’t. You sat in your bedroom by the window looking out at the scene feeling somewhat alienated from your peers, and jealous. It wasn’t the little kids running or the friends competing among each other you were jealous of; it was the couples. The couples that were blatantly making out, holding hands, or simply cuddled up together.

Scott and Jean were sitting down on the grass chatting. A young boy threw the frisbee in the wrong direction and it came hurtling towards Scott, whose back was turned and didn’t notice. Luckily, Jean did.

With her telekinetic abilities, she stopped the projectile and returned it to the grateful boy. Scott thanked his girlfriend by trailing kisses down her neck, whispering in her ear. Even from a distance, you could see Jean blush under his attention. You wanted that. Not from Scott but from someone else.

Your gaze turned back toward the picture you held in your hands. It was taken almost a year ago when the school had a summer party to celebrate the end of the semester. In the photo, you and Peter Maximoff were sitting down on a bench eating watermelon slices. Peter wore his ridiculous Hawaiian swim trunks decorated with a variety of tropical birds.

The day had been a blast filled with swimming, water balloon fights, tasty food, wonderful company, and your first kiss, sort of. Peter had kissed you on the cheek at the night’s end. When it happened your heart nearly exploded from excitement. For a time, you had hoped it was the beginning of a romance between you and him, but alas it was not. You didn’t see much of him last summer, and neither you nor him had made any steps into a relationship in the past year.

Your fingers brushed the picture of Peter’s face, and you felt a deep sense of sadness settle in the bottom of your stomach, for now you were convinced that he only saw you as a friend. Perhaps if you had the tiniest bit of courage, you could tell him about your secret crush on him but every time an opportunity arose for you to act, you’d get cold feet and leave before he’d suspect anything.

Sighing, you leaned your head against the wall trying to think of something other than Peter. You focused on your record player in front of you. The vinyl spinning around and around was hypnotizing and you relaxed for a moment, listening to John Lennon’s voice sing “Baby It’s You”.

Uh, oh, it doesn't matter what they say I know I'm gonna love you any old way What can I do, and it's true Don't want nobody, nobody

Cause baby, it's you

To help with your melancholy mood, you put on the Beatles’ first album Please Please Me. Now, when paying close attention to the lyrics, your thoughts drifted towards Peter again. You wanted him but he didn’t want you. Briefly, you were glad when the song changed but soured again when the song was “Do You Want To Know A Secret?”

Maybe a collection of love songs wasn’t the best idea to listen to when trying to forget about your crush. In irritation at the band singing about love, you almost threw the disc across your room. However, you calmed yourself, it wouldn't help your situation to destroy it. Besides, your dad bought the record when he was your age and gifted it to you as a present for your last birthday. 

Taking deep breaths in and out, you felt a rush of air beside you. Your stomach dropped when you saw who caused it. Peter, handsome as ever, was standing next to you, wearing his signature silver jacket and goggles. "Hey, whatcha up to?"

You pressed the picture to your front, covering it as much as you could with your hands. You hoped he wouldn't pay attention to the song, see the photo, and connect the dots. "Uh, nothing much. Just listening to some music."

Peter picked up the cover of the album and raised an eyebrow. "The Beatles? Seriously?" He questioned in mock disappointment. 

You shrugged your shoulders. "It's a good band, and I like this song." The record spun faster, and both of you were silent as George Harrison sang out:

Closer, let me whisper in your ear Say the words you long to hear I'm in love with you, ooh

Fidgeting, you glanced between the record player and Peter, feeling nervous. Peter did the same with you, though he seemed unbothered. You tapped your fingers tensely, wondering what possible course of action to take so you could slip away. It wouldn't be too random to jump out the window and army crawl through the bushes to escape, right?

Peter opened his mouth to speak, and fearing what might come out of his mouth, you said, "Yeah my dad bought it when he was younger, and he asked my mom out while they danced to this. She loves telling that story, always saying that without this song I might not have been born. So that's one of the reasons I like it, and it's a good song."

You stopped rambling, and noticed Peter had a curious expression on his face. "Do girls actually like that?"

"Huh?"

"That cheesy romance stuff, like your mom did. Girls like that?"

"Umm..." Your brain seemed to have short circuited at his question. "I mean it depends on the girl. Some girls do and some don't. Also depends on the circumstances, and who's asking is pretty important too." You let out a chuckle at the end, attempting to alleviate a bit of the awkwardness. 

Peter held the album for a few more seconds, digesting the information. He tossed the cover on your bed and asked, "Well, speaking of pleasing me, do you wanna go to 7-Eleven. A little bird told me they got a new shipment of twinkies." He had a lopsided grin on his face. 

You would've said yes, been happy to spend any amount of time with Peter, but now being in his company was unbearable. It was difficult having to joke, laugh, talk, and pretend you were content to be with him but not be with him. You couldn't keep up the façade. Not now. You replied, breaking eye contact, "I'm sorry, Pete. I don't want to right now."

"It'll take less than a minute. We can get some silly string too. Scott's room is lookin' real drab and it needs a bit of color stop to liven it up," he coaxed.

"No, I have a headache. I just want to be alone this evening." You gave him a sad smile, hoping he'd understand.

Peter was unhappy that you wouldn't come with him, but didn't pester any further. He nodded and departed without another word. You returned to gazing at the window, feeling dissatisfied with Peter's friendship and frustrated at your inability to tell him the truth.

"I'm glad I could come, Peter."

"Yeah, it's been a while since we hung out."

It was a hot July day in the suburbs of D.C. where you were staying with the Maximoff's. Over summer break, you had grown bored at home, so you decided to pay your favorite speedster a visit. An ample amount of time had elapsed since that evening in May, that you felt confident enough to be around Peter without becoming a stuttering lovestruck fool.

You had even gone out with a couple of dudes to get your mind off him. But now, with the two of you alone in his basement, your mind wandered over to possible romantic scenarios that could happen. You mentally rebuked yourself for thinking such things about your friend. Maybe there was some cute guy in a movie you could obsess over instead of Peter.

To distract yourself, you started looking through his extensive collection of stolen albums. He had all of Pink Floyd’s, including Atom Mother Heart, Meddle, Obscured by Clouds, and Dark Side of the Moon which was his favorite. 

"So, what do you feel like listening to?" You asked Peter who was playing Ms. Pac-Man on the other side of the room. Just as you were about to suggest Obscured by Clouds, he sped off and appeared again, this time closer to you, holding up a new one. It was Please Please Me.

"I was thinking of this one." He put it on his record player and fast-forward through a few songs until "Do You Want To Know A Secret" started playing. He held out his hand to you. Shocked by his actions, you took his hand hesitantly.

He put his other hand on your waist and began swaying. Peter was dancing with you! You tried to regain your composure and hoped he couldn't hear your heart beating a zillion miles per hour. 

You'll never know How much I really love you You'll never know How much I really care

You tried to begin a conversation to preoccupy yourself from the warm sensation spreading throughout your body but was stopped by Peter whispering in your ear. “Listen, do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell?” You stiffened at his words. "Closer, let me whisper in your ear. Say the words you long to hear."

He murmured the lyrics along with the song as it played. He continued, "I've known a secret for a week or two. Nobody knows, just we two." Peter twirled you around once then brought you closer to him. His lips brushed against your ears once more as he continued his soft singing. "Say the words you long to hear. I'm in love with you."

Tingles traveled up your spine when he said the romantic words. You looked him dead in the eyes, determining if this was all a giant joke, Peter being a jerk and playing with your tangled emotions, or if he was genuine. He returned your gaze and explained, "Technically it's been more than a week but that's what the song says."

You gaped at him. "Peter, are- are you serious? Are you joking?" You swallowed all of your apprehension and hardened your voice. "Cause if you are, I'll knock you into next Tuesday."

He gave a small chuckle at your reaction. "I wouldn't be slow dancing with you in my basement if I didn't like you." He emphasized the slow part to get his point across. However, something was off about Peter, he licked his lips, and looked, dare you say it, scared?

You realized he was waiting for you to say if you liked or didn't like him back. The thought made you smile. The fact that you, of all people, could make Peter nervous. How the tables had turned. You contained the laughter bubbling up inside you and answered, "I like you too, Peter."

His worried expression was quickly replaced with a cocky grin. "Huh, who knew this cheesy romance stuff worked?"

"Like mother, like daughter, I guess."

"Yeah, I should thank your dad next time I see him for the tip."

You let out a breathy laugh at his comment, before gingerly pressing your lips against his. He kissed back. You broke away first and rested your head on his shoulder. Peter hummed in contentment.

He whispered, "You know, I could get used to going this slow with you." In his cluttered basement, you and Peter danced to the Beatles, stopping more often than not to kiss each other. You were glad that his and your affections were no longer secret anymore. 

Listen, do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell, whoa, oh Closer, let me whisper in your ear Say the words you long to hear I'm in love with you

Taglist: @spderm4nnnn

[hooked-on-elvis]

"My Boy" (1973-1974)

Recorded on December 13, 1973 at Stax Studios, Memphis · Released on March 20, 1974 · Album: Good Times

MUSICIANS Guitar: James Burton, Johnny Christopher, Charlie Hodge. Bass: Norbert Putnam. Drums: Ronnie Tutt. Piano & Organ: David Briggs, Per-Erik Hallin. Vocals: Kathy Westmoreland, Mary (Jeannie) Greene, Mary Holladay, Susan Pilkington, Voice, J.D. Sumner & The Stamps. OVERDUBS Guitar: Dennis Linde, Alan Rush. Percussion: Rob Galbraith. Piano: Bobby Ogdin. Organ: Randy Cullers. Vocals: Ginger Holladay, Mary Holladay, Mary Cain.

RELEASES In March 1974 "My Boy" was first released on the album "Good Times", and in January 1975 the song came out as Side-A single (backed with "Thinking About You".

The master of “My Boy” was lengthened by splicing on a repeat of the last section.

"MY BOY" — LYRICS Songwriters: Bill Martin/Phil Coulter/Claude Francois/Jean-Pierre Bourtayre You're sleeping son, I know But really, this can't wait I wanted to explain Before it gets too late For your mother and me Love has finally died This is no happy home But God knows how I've tried Because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy I know it's hard to understand Why did we ever start? We're more like strangers now Each acting out a part I have laughed, I have cried I've lost every game Taken all I can take But I'll stay here just the same Because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy Sleep on, you haven't heard a word Perhaps it's just as well Why spoil your little dreams Why put you through the hell Life is no fairy tale As one day you will know But now you're just a child I'll stay here and watch you grow Because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy Because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy Yeah, because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy Oh, because you're all I have

--

TAKES · FROM FIRST TO MASTER

THE TAKE 2 Studio Sessions for RCA · December 13, 1973: Stax Studios, Memphis Please, read what Ernst Jorgensen says about the moment "My Boy" was being recorded, and listen to the take. -- The next night Elvis began with a song from his live repertoire, “My Boy,” which had been included in the August Las Vegas show. The song told the traumatic tale of losing a child through divorce, but Elvis wanted to be done with it fast. When Felton pushed for a third take, he exploded: “I told you to get this goddamn thing in two takes. I can’t sing it no more.” Take three was actually better; it lacked the long fade out Felton wanted, but he knew better than to ask for another, confident that he could loop it in mixing to get the effect he wanted. Excerpt: "Elvis Presley, A Life in Music: The Complete Recording Sessions" by Ernst Jorgensen. Foreword by Peter Guralnick (1998) -- So, when I first read this part of Jorgensen's book I hadn't listen to that take yet, but now that I did I don't take Elvis' comment as "he exploded", do you? If that was Elvis exploding, I have to reconsider a lot of the stories about his supposed short-tempered moments. Just saying. He sounded pretty like just casually commenting rather than snapping at Felton like the description of the moment made it look like. Still, I personally think that comment came for a reason, maybe EP was too polite - or too embarrassed - to show how affected by the lyrics of that song he was. Below is the take two alone, if you prefer to go straight to the point go to min. 3:50.

Elvis and Lisa Marie Presley at Baptist Memorial Hospital in Memphis, TN, on February, 1968. ♥

I must have been the only person in the fandom who hadn't seen this picture before. So cute! I'm meltinnnggg! Is it real? Looks edited, IDK. Anyway, what are your thoughts about Elvis' recording of My Boy? Do you think it had a meaning to him?

[carolmunson]

wish i had a river (e.m. x reader)

based off this cover of joni mitchell's river.

part two: here a/n: thought about starting a little mini series of one shots based off christmas or wintertime songs -- no part twos, no expansions, just little one shots based off the world the song builds for me. music really influences my writing so i thought this would be fun while i'm stuck in a rut with my WIPs. would really recommend listening to the song before or while reading.

cw: angst, angst, angst. mentions of a bad childhood. established relationship. reader is a first grade teacher. story is set in the early/mid 90s. divider by: @newlips

He sits over the kitchen table, scribbling furiously with a pen that was starting to stutter out of ink. He alternates between scribbling, sniffling, and wiping his eyes. He hadn't meant to yell, hadn't meant to start a fight. Christmas was never an easy time for him, his dad always tried to call him from prison. Wayne would take the photo books out and go through all the photos he had left of Eddie's mom. All the pictures of a younger Eddie seeing Santa: wishing for a new guitar, for a leather jacket, for his mom to come back, for a new daddy. Wayne thought it was nostalgic, but it just made Eddie sad. It made him remember that Christmas wasn't what it was like on TV -- it wasn't what it was like for you.

Now with Wayne getting a little weaker, a little sicker from the chemicals at the plant, he'd been begging Eddie to go through the photo albums with him. To hang up all the pictures of his younger self with Santa. Wayne just couldn't do it this year -- too tired, too couped up in bed. He'd taken a long sick leave with half pay so Eddie had taken up a second job at the mall in the shoe section of Macy's because they made commission. He felt lucky that the 90s were leaning towards a look that called for combat boots -- he was selling them in buckets to moms who thought he was cute and needed a gift for their angry son or daughter.

He had to wear his hair back at Macy's. He fucking hated it.

So he'd do the mechanics in the morning, run home to shower and change, do Thursday through Friday nights in shoes, pulling double shifts on the weekends. Eddie never had a day off and it was starting to strain on the two of you, only being able to see each other on some week nights.

He loved how understanding you'd been, doing your best to drop off dinner for him some nights at the mall. Being okay with doing nights in at your apartment on the otherside of town instead of dates. Letting him fall asleep on the couch while you watched your favorite claymation Christmas movies from the 60s. He'd started leaving and extra pair of coveralls in your closet incase he didn't wake up in time to get home before his shift at the shop.

You wake him up to a cup of coffee and some breakfast that you'd force him to eat because otherwise he wouldn't eat all day. He was getting thin, the stress was getting to him. On his feet all day, cars coming in all the time from the ice on the roads, new tires, the plows coming in every other night. The rush of people doing their holiday shopping, getting screamed at by someone's Reagan voting dad because they didn't have the new Air Force Ones in their son's size. Eddie would get in the van at night and just scream -- guttural, painful, angry.

The pen ran out of ink and he huffed, tossing it on the ground and wrenching away from the table to find a new one in Wayne's junk drawer. He opened the drawer so hard it came loose from the hinge of the wheels and the contents dumped onto the ground. He stood there for a moment, looking at the mess until his vision blurred with another round of fat tears.

"You okay in here, buddy?" Wayne asked, creeping into the kitchen from the back bedroom that Eddie had given back to him. He leaned onto the cane he'd started to use, holding onto the doorframe from support.

"Yeah, s'fine Uncle Wayne, you should just rest," he explains, trying to mask the cry about to fall out of his chest.

"S'it about that girl?" he asks gently.

Eddie nodded, getting to his knees and piling the junk back into the drawer half hazardly. His breath was shaky when he put the drawer back into place, not forgetting to grab a new pen, testing it on a piece of old mail before getting back to his seat at the table.

"You wanna talk about it, son?"

Wayne's soft drawl made Eddie break, shoulders shaking while he hid his face in his hands, "F-fuckin' blew it Wayne, I fuckin' blew it."

He'd gone to your apartment the for your week night 'date' of eating dinner and listening to records or watching TV. You'd been decorating here and there but this time everything was done, the apartment was glittering with holiday spirit. The tree was on the smaller side, but you'd been so proud if it -- all your grandmother's ornaments were shining against the multicolored lights. You'd answered the door with a big smile, sugar cookies on a plate in your hand, blank gingerbread men on the small coffee table in your living room. He saw the candy and frosting laid out and his heart sunk, he didn't have the energy for an activity.

"Hi honey," you smiled and leaned in for a kiss, but he only brushed his lips to your cheek. You knew he was tired and that was fine, he didn't owe you Christmas cheer you guessed.

"Hey," he mumbled, taking off his jacket and tossing it over the arm of the couch.

"Rough day?" you asked, putting the cookies down and grabbing his coat to hang it up.

"Just been fuckin' wild this past week," he shook his head, "Everyone's losing their fuckin' minds at the mall since the holiday's getting closer -- wish they never rebuilt that shithole."

He sat down in your recliner and let out a sigh that only 40 year olds that hate their wives make. You frowned.

"Sorry, baby," you ventured into the kitchen and came out with a cup of hot chocolate. He took it without saying thank you and sipped it bitterly while you took the sugar cookies back to the counter.

"I thought maybe we could decorate gingerbread men," you shrugged, quiet in your suggestion, "Just something fun to take your mind of things."

He looked down at the spread and then back up at you. When his eyes didn't light up, your insides caved in on themselves. So fucking stupid, he just worked 90 hours straight why would he want to decorate fucking cookies?

"S'real nice angel, but I'm not really feeling up to it," he assured, catching your change in demeanor.

"Oh, no, no, I get it," you nodded, quietly picking up the tupperwares full of candy and frosting and organizing them in the fridge. You'd bring them to your classroom the next day to decorate with your first graders and move the Gingerbread Man book up to this week instead of next week.

When you came back into the livingroom Eddie was walking around, observing your decor -- his face furrowed, bordering unhappy. Bored.

"Tree looks good," he said when he noticed you were back in the living room.

"Oh thanks," you smiled, "Steve brought me on Friday to go pick it up."

"Steve, huh?" Eddie asked with edge, not looking at you. You heard him let a soft huff out of his nose, seeing a mild shake of his head while he looked at the ornaments. He took one in his fingers, a crocheted wreath with a photo in the center -- you and your family by the fireplace in matching pajamas. Picture perfect. Your mom and dad call every Sunday after church. They think Eddie's a real hard worker, they admire him despite his taste in music and tattoos, they always pay for lunch when they take you both out when they come to town.

His eyes ventured lower and then he saw them: gifts. Gifts for him. Gifts from you and gifts from Santa. His head whipped around and his mouth was a thin line --

"We said--"

"I know what we said, honey, but you've been doing so much. I just wanted you to have a little something," you pleaded.

"I said no gifts this year and I meant no gifts this year," he gritted out.

"Baby, I know, but I just -- they aren't even fancy gifts! Just stuff you need, like, like -- there's socks in your stocking!" you offered any kind of explanation, "Some of them are even from my parents, they aren't all from me."

"Well that makes me look like a fuckin' asshole, doesn't it?" his voice was gravelly, he crossed his arms to look down at you while he stood at full height, "They're all gonna ask what I got you for Christmas."

"No they're not Ed, I already told them your si--"

"So you're telling your family my business now? Your poor fuckin' boyfriend who can't buy his girl shit because he's broke?" he argues, "Real fuckin' nice. Bet they can't wait to see me again."

"I can -- I can return them, I'm sorry," you sputtered, completely taken aback by his reaction, "I just...I don't know. I wanted you to have a nice Christmas."

"Maybe I didn't want one," he bites, exhaustion turning into unbridled frustration, "God, you think everyone likes this shit? All this holly jolly crap?"

You shake your head no, biting your lip to keep from crying but the tears well up anyway.

"You know you're just -- you're so caught up in the fuckin' magic of it all cause you don't know any different. Was your daddy ever callin' you from jail on Christmas morning? You ever wake up to nothing and wonder why Santa kept missing your uncle's fuckin' trailer?" he kept ranting, the tinsel on the tree shook with every stomp of his black boots. You shook your head no again.

"You have no fuckin' clue! Not everyone wants to be reminded of all the shit they never had," his nostril flared while he spoke, voice raising with every word that came out, "You think you're doing me a fuckin' favor?! Buying me shit, tryn'a get me to do these stupid arts and crafts? I'm not one of your students, Ms. First Grade -- stop treating me like one."

He took ragged breaths after his schpiel, trying to calm down but he was too riled up with his second wind. He looked at you with hard eyes even after you started to cry.

"I just wanted to do something nice," you shrugged, "Thought maybe this could be the year y'start-started liking Chri-christmas."

His eyes narrowed, "I don't need you to do shit for me. Christmas fucking sucks."

You blubbered, grabbing his coat out of the closet and putting his gifts in your arms, shoving them into his chest, "G-get out."

He held the jacket and gifts loosely against him, processing your request for a moment, his eyes softened.

"Get out, Ed!" you yelled, shoving him towards the door, "Just get the fuck out!"

He stumbled through when you opened the door, but held it open with his boot while you went to close it.

"You're gonna kick me out? Cause I don't wanna play fuckin' pretend with you?" he yelled, "Sorry that some of us have to live in the real world, angel. Wouldn't wanna impede on your fuckin' fairytale."

"Just go!" you yell back, tears staining your cheeks, "And don't fucking come back! You -- you fucking asshole."

He lets out a dark airy chuckle, "Fine, why don't go call up Harrington then? I'm sure he'll buy you somethin' real nice that you can show off to your parents."

With a final shove you were able to shut the door, leaving Eddie on the other side with his arm full of gifts. He clenched his jaw, half thinking to grab your spare key out from your welcome mat to barge right back in but he decided against it. He'd never really lost his temper like that with you before -- but God damn was he so tired. Tired of hearing about the holidays, of Wayne's cold trailer, of working two jobs, of the whole fuckin' season.

He took the van home, speeding over icy roads at first before he was able to finally calm down some. His eyes cast over to the gifts on the passengers seat and he huffed, pulling over into the empty Melvald's parking lot. He could see Joyce Byers restocking boxes of ornaments in the window, the light of the store giving him just enough to look at the wrapped packages next to him. He held one in his hand and took a deep breath, ripping the wrapping paper off slowly to reveal a shirt box.

He opened it slowly, a smile spreading across his face for the first time in weeks. It was a Black Sabbath tour t-shirt from their most recent string of concerts. He hadn't been able to make it to the one in Michigan even though it would've been face melting to see Black Sabbath and Motorhead the same night. Your brother had gone to the show in Pennsylvania and snagged him one as a surprise, but you wanted to save it for Christmas. With it was a framed set list in Ron Keel's writing, your brother's back stage passes had really come to good use. Keeping the gift a secret this long had been so hard for you.

He opened the next one after carefully putting the shirt and setlist in the back seat. Under the paper was a velvet box with a silver chain inside -- it was his chain, one that broke when he took you roller skating a couple months ago. He was just gonna trash it, it was tarnished and old anyway, but it had been Wayne's before he took the dog tags off and let Eddie replaced it with a guitar pick. You got it fixed, cleaned, and shined. It looked new. The original guitar pick was still attatched, with a few new ones nestled in the velvet at the center of the chain. Picks from shows you'd been to together, picks he'd thrown into the crowd when he performed. You 'd been collecting them and he didn't even know.

His lower lip trembled, eyes filling with tears as the guilt set in. You just wanted him to have a good Christmas.

He put the velvet box back in the pile of unopened gifts and pulled out of the parking lot. Before he knew it, he was fully crying, shoulders shaking in his leather jacket while he hopped out of the van and into the trailer. He picked up the phone, dialing your number, begging you to pick up so he could apologize and come back over.

"Hello?"

He was not expecting the voice of Steve Harrington to answer. His heart sunk so far down it might as well have fallen out. Eddie swallowed, trying to hold back another sob.

"Hey man, my girl around?" he asked, blinking back the tears threatening to stream down his face.

"Uh yeah, but her hands are kind of a mess," Steve laughs, Eddie hears you laugh in the background -- he aches at the sound, "We're just finishing up some cookie stuff for our classrooms tomorrow. Can she call you back in a bit?"

He could hear you shuffling in the background, the TV on blasting scenes from Rudolph -- The Island of Misfit Toys song played through the receiver while Steve waited for Eddie's response.

"Yeah, man, that's um -- that's fine. Have her call me," Eddie said softly, hanging up before Steve could reply. He knew you didn't like Steve like that; but something about the way your students would ask when you and Mr. Harrington were gonna 'get mawwied' put a pit in his stomach.

Eddie rifled through the junk drawer before he found what he wanted -- a deck of cards. It was worn and worse for wear, was probably missing some, but that way fine. It would do. If he couldn't buy you a present, he'd make you one instead. He'd seen Gareth do this a hundred times to win girls back and it worked every time.

Fifty-two things he loved about you. About you both together. His favorite memories. He'd doodle on some. You were his queen of hearts after all. So he started, frantic, feverish, writing novels on the first four, intricate drawings of where you met, your first date. A poem about your first kiss. It spilled out of him, just like his tears. He couldn't just lose you now, not on Christmas.

"I think that's a real nice gift," Wayne nods as Eddie finishes explaining, "Very heartfelt, buddy."

"Thanks, Wayne," Eddie's voice became groggy with talking and tears, "I just hope she likes it -- hope it's enough. Can't believe I -- that I made her cry like that -- s'not me."

"Better not be," Wayne barks a laugh, "Didn't raise ya to be a heartbreaker, kid."

Eddie smiles weakly, finishing the last card.

"Think it's too late to bring it over?" Eddie asks. Wayne shrugs and looks at the clock, just past 11 PM.

Wayne stands up from taking a seat, shaky while he does it, "Wouldn't say it's too, too late. 'Specially not if that boy's still there."

Before Eddie knows it, he's back on the road with the cards in an envelope. He'd finessed a bow out of some twine he found in Wayne's tool box, and decorated the outside of the envelope with red and green marker.

He shakily got to your door and could hear you both still manuevering around the kitchen. The clinks and clattered of bowls being cleaned so remeniscent of your after dinner cleanups. Sharing kisses between rinsing and drying.

He leaves the envelope on your welcome mat and knocks on the door, escaping into the stairwell as your apartment door opens.

"Who is it?" Eddie hears Steve ask.

"No one, it's oh -- " your little giggle makes him melt, "Looks like Santa dropped off something early."

"What is it?" Steve's voice sounds closer.

"It's um -- oh," your voice gets sullen.

"Eddie?" you call out. He wants to come out from hiding but he can't bring himself too. Not after how he acted.

"Gift from Ed?" Steve asks, "That's sweet of him."

"Yeah um, yeah, it is," you confirm softly. He waits to hear the door close with a click before walking back downstairs to his van. Maybe he can call out tomorrow and you can both decorate cookies until you get sick.

part two: here

[bluejay-the-geek]

DC characters/moments as Tortured Poets Department songs/lyrics bc i have a light concussion and am very bored (in the album's chronological order)

(disclaimer before someone is triggered- some of the lyrics are taken out of context or interpreted differently than what they actually mean. this is just for fun don't come for me. also this gets pretty angsty towards the end so proceed with caution)

"I was supposed to be sent away, But they forgot to come and get me"- tim drake very obviously bc neglecting parents/boarding school

"I love you, it's ruining my life"- early harleen quinzel about joker

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys"- the whole song is just harley quinn idc (pre-harlivy of course)

"Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym"- nightwing def cried at the gym at some point

"I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe"- dick grayson about bruce after moving out of wayne manor

"You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof, You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days"- remember the whole selena leaving bruce at the alter thing? yeah

"I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin', I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, It's mine alone to disgrace"- I'm just getting red hood vibes from this no specific reason

"Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you, Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to"- almost every gotham rouge to batman right after escaping arkham/prison. especially joker, catwoman and riddler lol

"At the park where we used to sit on children's swings, Wearing imaginary rings"- this one specific panel of tim and steph

"And this city reeks of driving myself crazy"- everyone who's ever been to gotham

"All my girls got their lace and their crimes, And your cheating husband disappeared, well, No one asks any questions here"- it's giving gotham city sirens

"Am I allowed to cry?"- maybe it's just me but i thought about clark kent discovering he had different biological parents and grieving about them even though the parents that actually raised him are alive and well

"So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream, "Who's afraid of little old me?", You should be" red hood's debut

"The scandal was contained, The bullet had just grazed, At all costs, keep your good name, You don't get to tell me you feel bad"- jason todd about the whole making batman choose between him and joker at the end of under the red hood

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me"- this is 100% Bane bc he was born and grew up in prison for a crime he didn't even do!! also cassandra cain and damian wayne

(^this is actually the lyric that inspired this entire post lol)

"You caged me and then you called me crazy, I am what I am 'cause you trained me, So who's afraid of me? Who's afraid of little old me?"- kind of a stretch but remember that time they put jason in arkham?

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)- again the whole song is harley about joker

"Your arson's match, your somber eyes, And I'll still see it until I die, You're the loss of my life"- bruce about jason. out of all the robins that died, jason's death hit him the hardest. even now when bruce sees red hood, he still sees that happy little kid that he lost

"I can read your mind, "She's having the time of her life", There in her glittering prime, The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night, I can show you lies"- bc we all know Nightwing is always dying on the inside, and it was very true in the discowing era bc it was right after he left the manor

"'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit"- jason pre-bruce

"I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague"- ok so we got joker about batman, cupid about green arrow, hush about bruce wayne... and a bunch of others but it's too many to write lol

"And you deserve prison, but you won't get time"- fucking tarantula that bitch

"The smallest man who ever lived"- the atom! not any of the messages in the song tho ofc he's just very small

"What if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, Worst sleep that I ever had, I circled you on a map ,I haven't come around in so long, But I'm coming back so strong"- joker to batman after escaping arkham again

"I haven't come around in so long, But I'm making a comeback to where I belong"- jason coming back to protect crime alley after being away from gotham for years after his resurrection

"Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you"- batman and catwoman<3

I Hate It Here- imagine the whole song as homeless jason todd taking shelter in the library💔

"I built a legacy that you can't undo, But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth, That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you"- bruce built a legacy as batman, and created a huge family he loves, and it hurts to think about but he wouldn't have any of it if joe chill hadn't murdered his parents

"Please, I've been on my knees, Change the prophecy, Don't want money, Just someone who wants my company"- kid bruce grew up all alone in a huge mansion, but he'd give all his billions away in a heartbeat if he could change his parent's fate

"So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst"- ok so you might think i chose cassandra cain for this only bc of the name, BUT- cass notices things others don't (like cassandra the prophet...), bc of her skills and abilities she is feared the most (Ik the song said "she feared" not "she is feared" but idc lol). like if someone knew so much about you just by looking you'd think she's some kind of a witch too

Peter- picture this: jason had a childhood friend back at crime alley. he left to live in wayne manor and become robin, and said goodbye to his old friend, promising they'd reunite again in the future. 3 years pass and his friend reads an article about jason's death. now listen to the song and try not to cry (if someone writes that fic send me the link IMMEDIATELY this has been haunting me) here's the link to the song with lyrics bc ik you're too lazy to look it up. also jason's middle name is peter:)

"Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, Excellent fun 'til you get to know her"- brucie wayne vs batman

"Started with a kiss, "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" But it always ends up with a town car speeding, Out the drive one evening"- catwoman and batman of course<3 the town car is the batmobile speeding out the batcave to catch catwoman (to arrest her or make out with her? probs both)

Robin- ofc we have to go robins for robin! imo that's bruce to dick and jason's robins, and dick to damian when he was his robin. dick and jason- despite the hard times they went through that led to them becoming robins, they were still mostly happy curious kids that run around covered in mud while bruce tried (unsuccessfully) to maintain the innocence they had left. as for damian- it's more of a stretch than the other 2 bc he had no childlike innocence before robin, but dick tried his hardest to extract the child that was hidden inside the ruthless assassin the league created, finally allowing him to experience normal kid things. idk

"He said, "I'm not a donor but, I'd give you my heart if you needed it", She rolled her eyes and said, "You're a professional""-to me this is clark kent completely in love and lois with her sass

"And at last, She knew what the agony had been for"- almost every hero. they suffer, they sacrifice, they fight, and sometimes they want to give up- but at the end of the day, they save lives, so it's all worth it

and that's it folks! feel free to add more/share your insights!!

sorry for any spelling/grammer mistakes, English isn't my first language plus like the title said i had a minor head injury a few days ago and I'm tired soI'm not proofreading this bc I'm going to sleep rn goodnight to all✌️

[waratah-moon]

oh my god this sounds soo good

"What were you thinking?" "To be honest, I wasn't" (Eddie does something stupid that puts both your names on every single tabloid in the city)”

“I may be an idiot, but I'm your idiot.” Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie x Famous!Reader WC: 1.8k Warnings: set in the 90s, alcohol consumption, mentions of Pam & Tommy, lil magazine cover edit at the bottom for vibe purposes only. masterlist / send me a message 💌 / other prompt drabbles

This was not Eddie’s most sober moment. In the process of waiting for their final category to be announced at the 37th Annual Grammy Awards ceremony, he’d downed three Jack and Cokes and taken one too many shots. In his defence, they’d performed their biggest single earlier in the ceremony and he was still chasing the adrenaline high that came from a lengthy round of applause. They’d also won Best Metal Performance; not that he cared about that too much.

Corroded Coffin was no stranger to Grammy awards. They’d won two Grammys the first year they were nominated. One for Best New Artist, which was a shock to everyone as it had never been awarded to a heavy metal band before, and one for Best Metal Performance for their debut album. That had been a years ago. 

Eddie didn’t care about winning awards. To him the fun part was making the music and performing it. The only opinions that mattered to Eddie were those of the fans. And maybe some of his fellow musicians. But in the end the Grammys for the rock and metal categories were ultimately voted on by people who didn’t even understand the genres, so to Eddie their award didn’t matter. But now they were nominated for one of the big categories; Record of The Year. That meant a little more.

He felt you place your hand on his knee, it must have been bouncing because he suddenly felt it still.

“Nervous?” Your voice was quiet beneath the chatter of the theatre, but he heard you loud and clear.

“Never,” he responded, his signature lopsided grin making an appearance on his face.

“You’re fidgeting.”

“I’m always fidgeting.”

“More so than usual,” you took his hand in yours, twisting the silver signet ring you’d bought him for your one year anniversary. That seemed like a lifetime ago now. “I’m so proud of you.”

“What if we don’t win?”

“I’ll break up with you.” You saw confusion pass over his face and you laughed. “If you don’t win, you don’t win. Doesn’t change anything, Eds. You already have three Grammys, I’m not sure we even have the room for another one.”

“You’re right, the space on the mantel is saved for your Oscar.”

You rolled your eyes, but your chest warmed. You went to speak but Garret hushed you as “Record of The Year” flashed on the screen behind the stage. 

Eddie couldn’t breath as he listened to the presenters read out the nominees, his heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest. He gripped your hand tightly, his toes fidgeting in his shoes. Suddenly people in the seats around him sprung up, hugging and cheering each other. 

"You did it, baby," Eddie felt you kiss him quickly before Garret blindly led him through the audience.

The band made their way to the stage for the third time that night, energy buzzing around them. Garret thanked the presenters and pushed Eddie in front of the microphone for the acceptance speech. the applause died down as the crowd listened to Eddie speak.

“Uh, wow. To be honest I don’t think any of us know what to say right now. Bands like ours never win this award so none of us were expecting it. Thank you for thinking our music is good,” he went to step away from the mic when Jeff said something to him, pushing him back to centre stage. “Oh shit, yeah. We’d like to thank our manager John, Tim and Suzy at Columbia, and Joel who worked his ass off in the studio.” Eddie’s eyes were hazy but they still managed to find you in the crowd. “Finally I need to thank my favourite girl. My muse. My beautiful wife. This is your song, baby. None of it would be possible without you,” he raised the award in the air while his band members shook his shoulders and clapped him on the back.

The rest of the night was a blur. You ended up at some after party hosted by god knows who, but you spotted some familiar faces. Pamela Anderson was in the corner watching after her brand-new husband as he did the drunken rounds pestering other guests. Eddie had told you he’d never liked Tommy, but you both loved Pam. You left Eddie’s grasp as he chatted away to some producer and headed for the blonde.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” you smile.

“I could say the same for you,” Pam pulls you into a hug which you return with a squeeze. When you pull back she takes your left hand in hers and inspects it. “No ring?”

You frown, “huh?”

“You got married and you didn’t get a ring?”

Your eyes widened. What? “Married? Who said I got married?”

“Eddie… When he… wait,” she blinked, her eyes travelling from Eddie back to you. “He called you his wife in his speech, everyone’s talking about it. Honestly I’m just upset I wasn’t invited.”

You flashed back to the ceremony, trying to remember what Eddie had said but blanking on everything past him calling you his “favourite girl.”

“We didn’t get married. We’re not even engaged,” you tell her. Your eyes wandered over to Eddie who had his arm over Garret’s shoulder and was laughing at something Jeff was saying. You’d been together for three years now with them being the happiest of your life. You had no doubt that he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. The two of you had talked about your future together before, both of you certain that you had one together, but he hadn’t popped the question. Yet. “Everyone’s talking about it?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m sure everyone will forget about it by tomorrow. Come on, let’s get some drinks, I have to tell you about my wedding.”

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

You woke up the next day with a headache and an answering machine full of messages. 

“Bitch you got married?!”

“Sweetie, I’ve spoken with a lawyer and we can get this annulled, please call me back when you get this message.”

“Darling, we need to talk about media strategy, the tabloids are having a field day with the shotgun wedding headline. I can get you on the Tonight Show tomorrow.”

It was past noon when Eddie sleepily entered the kitchen, oblivious to your tense state as you sat at the kitchen counter, hunched over a magazine, a half eaten muffin on the plate beside you.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Did you make muffins?” His voice was muffled as his face was pressed into the crook of your neck.

“Nope. Carla dropped them off. Along with this,” you held up the cover of the magazine.

A red carpet picture of you and Eddie was splashed across the cover alongside the title: AMERICA’S SWEETHEART AND ROCK AND ROLL BAD BOY GET HITCHED.

He took the magazine from your hand, holding it closer to his face, “rock and roll? Corroded Coffin is heavy metal.”

You groaned, “that’s what you’ve taken from this? Eddie, everyone thinks we got married.”

He hummed thoughtfully, dropping the tabloid back on the counter. He broke off a piece of your muffin and tossed it in his mouth. “Not that I mind, but why do they think that?”

You spun the barstool around to face him, his hands finding purchase on your hips. “You don’t remember what you said last night, do you?”

Eddie tilted his head to the side, thinking. You could see the dark circles under his eyes, his hair mused from sleep. “No. What did I say?”

“When you won the grammy, after you thanked everyone, you thanked me.” 

“Yeah,” he nodded, his thumbs stroking the skin of your hips.

“You called me your wife.”

He squinted, trying to force his words to appear in his mind but failing. “Oh.”

“What were you thinking?”

“To be honest, I wasn’t. I was drunk, baby. It must have just slipped out.”

You covered his hands on your hips with yours, eyes wide as you watched his expression. “How does that just slip out, Eds?” He was chewing his lip now, trying to think of a way to defuse the situation. “Do you think of me as your wife?”

“Want me to be honest?”

“‘Course.”

“I love you. Our entire lives are intertwined. In all the important ways, you’re already my wife.”

Butterflies erupted in your stomach and suddenly your face felt hot. “But you haven’t asked me.”

“Do you wanna get married?” Yes, yes, yes. 

“You have to ask me properly.”

He huffed, dropping his hands from your hips and as he kissed your forehead. “Wait here.”

As Eddie disappeared from the kitchen you allowed yourself a moment to silently scream, fanning your cheeks. You were overwhelmed; too many thoughts raced through your mind as you tried to figure out what on earth was happening. It didn’t help that there was certainly alcohol still buzzing through your system. You swallowed the rest of the coffee that was sitting on the bench and pinched your wrist in an attempt to wake yourself up. Your mind still felt cloudy.

When Eddie finally returned, your eyes fell to his hands; he was fiddling with something small and velvet. “I was planning on doing this somewhere romantic. Maybe the lookout on Mullholand, but that doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is you and me.” He knelt down on one knee, opening the small box in his hand to flash a sparkling ring. “Baby, you’re the only person I want to go to sleep with, wake up with, spend my days with. You’re my favourite person. You’re my heart, my soul, my everything. You’re it for me, sweetheart.”

“Eds,” you felt your eyes getting wet as you watched the man you loved on his knees before you.

“Will you marry me?”

You were nodding before you got the words out, “yes, of course I will.” Your hands went to his cheeks and you leant down to kiss his lips. 

“Here, put this on before I drop it,” he took your left hand from his cheek, slipping the ring on your finger. You held your hand out, watching as the light bounced off the stone, making it sparkle. It was huge.

“Jesus christ, this weighs a ton.”

“Metal makes money, baby. Do you like it?”

“I love it. It’s perfect. How long have you been hiding this?”

He pondered the question, “I bought it last year.”

“Last year? We could have been engaged since last year? You’re an idiot, Eddie Munson.”

“But now I’m your idiot.”

“You’ve always been my idiot.”

4 months later...

note: Yes, that's JLo's 2000s Ben Afleck ring bc I think it's the height of celebrity extravagant rings lol not my style but sooooo 90s/00s.

taglist: @geekyfifi @livsters @bailey1212@babyfrosty@becca-alexa @munsonology @celestialuna13 @69your-best-night-mare69 @unknowniteminthebaggingarea @micheledawn1975 @neewtmas @silky-luxe @lokis-little-fawn @starrthemushroom @eddies-puppet

[ilyasorokinn]

i'm in love with you , ross macdonald

note, this is my first ever thing for ross or ever even broaching this fandom, so please be nice! i'm nice i promise! pair, ross macdonald x reader summary, y/n y/l/n and ross macdonald being in love for 10 minutes straight, or some cute moments in y/n and ross' relationship. warnings, mentions of quarantine, getting a tattoo (nothing graphic) (lmk if i missed anything) word count, 3289 words

(gif not mine)

If people knew Ross MacDonald, they knew you too. You and Ross had been together since the beginning of time, or at least long before the first album came out.

You and Ross were complete opposites which was what made you both so perfect together. Where he was quiet and a little more introverted, you were much more outgoing and extroverted. You were the golden retriever and he was the black cat.

Fans noticed the sweet moment between you, so edits were made, and of course video compilations.

Ross MacDonald and Y/N Y/L/N being in love for 10-minutes straight

The first clip was one fans knew very well. It was originally posted on Matty's Instagram and then later reposted on every 1975 fan account known to man.

You usually went to the first couple of shows with them, but due to scheduling conflicts, you couldn't make it to the first couple of shows like you normally would for the "At Their Very Best" tour.

Unbeknownst to Ross s, your schedule cleared up so you worked with the band to surprise him.

The video started and the first shot was of Ross' back as he and Matty walked down the hotel hallway toward Ross' room. The camera flipped quickly back to Matty who gave the camera an exasperated face as Ross continued to drone on about something.

"Ross, just open the door," Matty begged.

Ross raised a brow but opened the door and was greeted to balloons all over the ground before you popped up from behind the bed, "Surprise!" You shouted.

Ross stared at you trying to decipher if you were real and if you were actually there. "What?" Was all Ross said before he dropped his stuff on the ground and tackled you onto the bed and hugged you.

The short video ended right as you pulled away from the hug to cup his face and pull him in for a kiss.

The next clip was taken by a fan. It was a little grainy and the fan's hands were shaking but Ross was clearly in the shot and he could be seen looking up to the higher level of the theater up to someone.

The camera then panned up and when the camera focused, you were the person Ross was talking to from the stage. Matty was talking on stage and Ross was trying to be as inconspicuous as he could as to not draw attention up to you but it wasn't working.

You waved and he waved back discreetly. You drew a heart and blew him a kiss, laughing when he looked away, seemingly embarrassed.

"Y/N!" Matty shouted into the mic, making the crowd go wild when they realized you were there, "Stop distracting Ross!" He looked up at you on the balcony as everyone laughed.

"Sorry!" You shouted back with a laugh, waving to the crowd and blowing them a big kiss.

Something the band did before they went on stage showed what they were doing behind the scenes, leading up to them walking on stage.

So, fans went wild when everyone first showed up on the big screen, all in the green room, getting ready to head on stage. The camera panned around the room and you could feel the walls vibrate when the camera panned over to Matty.

You were listening to whatever Matty was talking about while also tying Ross' tie. You took a step back and looked at him, "Good?"

"Good." You gave him two thumbs up. You were both unaware of the camera filming you, both too stuck in your own little world. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled, leaning into his neck.

He hummed, wrapping his arms around your waist, "I'll see you out there." He pulled away, a smile on his face.

"Yeah, and if you don't, it's cause I'm getting funnel cake." You joked and he laughed, "I saw a funnel cake stand when we were walking around."

"You gonna save me some?" You nodded, "All right, I'll see you after."

"See you after." You both met halfway and kissed, "Be awesome rockstar." You pulled away and cupped his face.

No one could tell what either of you was saying, but they could tell that it was filled with love and that you both were in love. You pressed a kiss to his lips quickly before stepping away and waving.

The clip then switched over to a picture of you and Ross that you had posted. It wasn't anything special, just a sweet photo of you and Ross after an award show, looking nice and dressed up. Your arm was looped through his as you both smiled sweetly for the camera.

The photo was just something to look at while audio from a podcast you had done played in the background.

"I'm curious, and I know a lot of other people are curious too, what is it like dating a musician who is as high profile as Ross?" The host, Katya, asked.

You nodded, "It's a question I get asked often." You smiled, "But I never mind answering it and I'll answer it as honestly as I can. I don't know anything else."

"Really?" The other host, Lily asked.

"Yeah, he's my first serious boyfriend, and we've been together since, like, 2011, like a year before their first album went public. I had like middle school and high school boyfriends, but it was never as serious as it is with Ross."

"That's crazy," Lily commented.

"I know, it is. But, it really is the only thing I know. The long breaks, the tours, the getting recognized every so often." You shrugged, "But the one thing that I never take for granted is because we do long distance for such a long period of time, it just makes us cherish the time we do get to spend together."

"That's so sweet." You blushed as they both cooed.

"So, having been there since the beginning of the release process, what was that like?"

"Crazy, after Sex came out, everything went so quickly and I barely had time to comprehend. Then their first album came out and I felt like a chicken without a head for a good year after." They both laughed.

"So, they really went from being not famous and working normal jobs to almost the entire country knowing their names and their songs."

"Yeah, and it was a little scary at first, not gonna lie." You all shared a laugh, "But seeing how far they've all come, I'm proud, really. I feel like a proud mom."

"So, do you have a favorite song?" They both laughed when you gasped.

"You're trying to get me in trouble." You shook your head, "Um, not really I love them all equally."

"But off the record?"

"Off the record..." You blew out a breath, "Chocolate."

"Chocolate." You nodded.

"Good choice." Katya reached across the table and gave you a high five.

The next clip was a series of photos taken by the paparazzi. You didn't get paps taking pictures of you often, but when you did, it was usually you two together, and it was something sweet.

The first photo is of one of you two caught at dinner, sitting together. It's a real cliche. You were sitting across from each other with a candle in front of you, holdings hands from across the table and looking at each other like the other hung the moon.

The next was one that floated around Twitter for a while. It was a photo taken outside of a bar where the band was throwing an after-party after one of their shows, and you were in the middle of hopping bars when the photo was taken.

You were all waiting for Matty as you stood outside. You were wearing a tank top and had left your jacket in the car and it was cold, so Ross, being the good boyfriend, stood close to you and wrapped his jacket around you and managed to keep you warm.

The last in the dump was one even you posted. It was you and Ross at the airport. George was seen in the back, but the main focus was you and Ross.

You were walking beside him, on the opposite side of where all the cameras were. You both had sunglasses on to cover the bags from jet lag. You were carrying a small bag while Ross carried a backpack and dragged along two suitcases and if fans looked close enough, they would be able to read the luggage tags with your name on them.

The next clip was taken by a fan, again. The fan was waiting in line at a meet and greet the band was doing. The group in front of her moved and the fan who was filming walked up, handing her phone to the other person she was with.

The first person at the table was Matty. She got her CD and vinyl signed before making it to the end where Ross was, "Hi." She smiled nervously.

"Hello." He smiled, grabbing the sharpie and signing her items. As he signed her items, she pulled out a bracelet from her bag. It was a little bracelet she had made for you with your initials and a heart with cute colored beads.

He looked up from the signing when he was done, "What's that?" He asked, a smile on his face.

"I made a bracelet for Y/N." The girl answered, a smile on her face when Ross laughed.

"Did you? Oh, my." He gasped when she handed it to him, "Oh, she's gonna love it. She loves little bracelets, especially when it's homemade."

"That makes me happy." She beamed.

"Would you like a picture?"

The next photo that flashed on the screen was from your story and it was a photo of you smiling while wearing the little bracelet the fan had made you.

The caption read 'Thank you to the fan who made this for me! I love it so much and love you all!'

The photo then transitioned into a video taken by one of the cameramen who works at the concerts. it was a clip that went viral in the world of The 1975.

About You was a popular song on the album and it had gone viral so most fans knew it. Most of the time, on tour, Polly sang it, Carly sang it, and while you weren't a member of the band, you could sing.

Occasionally Ross would come home and tell you about a song they were working on and you would give your input and he would take it back to the band, so you were an unofficial member of the band.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome a very special friend to us all, in her first live performance ever, Mrs. Ross Macdonald herself," At that, the crowd went wild, "Miss Y/N Y/L/N!" You walked out onto the stage, waving to the crowd before hugging Matty and Adam.

You waved to the band, blew Polly a kiss, then met Ross halfway across the stage. You hugged and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before waving to the crowd again.

"You ready, Y/N?"

"So ready." You nodded, giving him a thumbs up. The music started. and you felt every nerve in your body go off. Ross kept glancing back at you, and when he finally caught your eye, he smiled.

You smiled back and took a deep breath. You closed your eyes as you sang the bridge, almost in your own world, "And there's something about you..."

Another video from a fan from a different angle was added. It was first on you, then moved across the stage over to Ross who was watching you, a smile on his face and what could only be described as the look of love on his face.

"...I never know what to think about." You opened your eyes and everyone went insane. You then became aware of just how many phones and cameras were pointed at you and smiled shyly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Y/N Y/L/N!" Matty shouted into the microphone, making the crowd again go wild. You waved before blowing air kisses to the crowd and hugging Ross again.

"How was that?" You asked nervously.

"So good." He kissed your forehead briefly before pulling away and hugging Matty and Adam. Before leaving the stage, you blew more air kisses to George, Polly, and the band on the set's second floor.

"She's so great, isn't she?" Matty spoke into the microphone once you were off stage, and you could hear the crowd from backstage in response to his question.

The next clip was a photo and video you had posted on your Instagram. It was no secret that Ross was covered in tattoos, so after you and Ross were sure and discussed it, you decided to get matching tattoos.

It wasn't anything drastic or anything too flashy, but it was something simple you had decided on. It was just each of your initials and they were in each of your handwriting, so you wrote the first letter of his name and vice versa.

The photo was you standing side by side, your hands in the frame so it showed the initials tattooed on your hands. It was small and not really noticeable unless you really looked for it.

The photo then transitioned into a video of you and Ross getting your tattoos. You were sitting in chairs next to each other. His hand was in your lap and it was clear with the way you weren't talking and the look, you were nervous. Ross knew this, so he did his best to comfort you from the chair next to you.

"Did you know flamingos sleep standing up?" Ross asked, trying anything to keep you calm.

"Yeah." You nodded.

"Did you know that giraffe's tongues are pink?"

"Ross Macdonald, I love you, but you are stressing me out." You glared at him.

"All right, I tried." He raised his hands in surrender, "You still doing good though?" He asked.

"I'm good." You reassured, "Can we turn on some music or something?"

The comments were crazy after you posted it. They all found it cute that Ross was trying to comfort you with random animal facts and found it cute that you were getting matching tattoos of your initials.

The next was a series of videos taken by fans from the same show. You were outside in the front of the building they were performing, a big bouquet of flowers in your hands.

You were smiling and waving to fans, "Hi, oh, my goodness." You gasped, “It’s so nice to see all of you.” You stopped by the barricade of the fans and took some pictures.

A fan handed you a sharpie and you started signing things that they held out. It wasn’t anything you were used to, so it was cool.

“Wow, this is new.” You laughed, “I’ve never had people ask for my autograph.” The group of fans whose items you were signing laughed.

"Are those for Ross?" The girl next to the fan who was filming asked.

"Yeah." You admitted, and they all gasped then all cooed about how cute it was, "Most of the time, the flowers in our home are for him, not that he never gets me them, but I like getting them for him whenever I can. It's a nice surprise." You shrugged, signing your name on someone's CD cover.

"Do you listen to The 1975?" Someone shouted as security led you inside the theater.

"Of course! They're my top artist every year on Spotify!" You laughed.

During quarantine, you were locked in your house obviously, so, while locked in your home, a cat had found its way into your backyard and had taken habitat in your flower patch in the sun.

You documented the whole process of you finding it, watching it from your kitchen window, then finally taking it in.

The first photo you posted on your story was a picture you had taken from your kitchen window of the cat, who at that point was nameless. The cat was laying in your flower patch in the sun.

The caption you had put on the photo was, "My flowers may be destroyed, but we have a new friend!"

The next video from your Instagram cat story was a video of Ross walking out into your garden, in his pajamas. You both approached the cat who was now standing by a tree in your backyard.

"Here, kitty." Ross cooed softly as he approached the cat with treats in hand. You stood back a distance, filming him as the cat hissed at him, "Geez!" Ross quickly retracted his hat as the cat practically pounced toward him.

"Be careful." You called out.

"Gee, thanks." He rolled his eyes. He held his hand out carefully with the food in it. The cat looked at it before approaching him and sniffing the food.

The cat then started eating the food out of his hand and once it was all gone, looked at Ross expediently, "Well, I guess that's a good sign." Ross turned around and headed towards the house.

The cat hopped off the ledge and followed him, "Ross..." You called out in awe that the cat was following him. He turned around and saw the cat trotting along behind him.

"I guess this is a very good sign." He shrugged, opening the door to your home and letting the cat enter before he followed.

The next photo was a photo of the cat snugging in Ross' arms with the caption, "Meet Biscuit!"

The last photo of your saga was a photo of Biscuit asleep on Ross' chest, who was also asleep, on the couch with the caption "Just a boy and his father".

A fan account had posted the photos you had posted of Ross and Biscuit and photos Ross had posted of you and Biscuit with the caption, "mom and dad are officially a mom and dad".

The last video you and Ross had posted together on your Instagrams. It was only a matter of time before you got married, and when you posted your engagement photos, the fans went wild.

It was a professional-looking wedding video. It started out with you and Ross standing in your hotel rooms, getting ready. The wedding, from what fans, could tell, was small with only your close friends and family.

A soft instrumental version of Robbers played in the background as you and Ross got ready. Your dress was zipped up while he straightened out his tie.

Then you were seen walking down towards a garden towards Ross, who was standing with his back to you, and it was clear at that moment, it was a video of your first look.

You smoothed out the front of your dress before taking a breath and reaching up to tap on his shoulder. He turned around and gasped, covering his mouth in shock.

After he got over the initial shock, he immediately wrapped you in a hug as he tried to sort out his thoughts. Nothing you were saying could be heard, but 'You look fucking amazing.' could be read falling from his lips.

The rest of the video was shots of you and Ross looking more in love than anyone could've thought, but the last shot of the video was a pan out from your seats at the reception.

You were sitting side by side, watching your guests on the dance floor with your head on his shoulder and his suit jacket around your shoulders.

-

add yourself to my taglist!

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of May 2024

[last month]

May 2024 was finals + road trip home from uni + getting settled in at home for the summer, so the songs on this month's list were the soundtrack to a really busy time for me. (Because of that, I'm extra grateful to them for helping me power through it all!) I didn't have the brainspace to be properly excited about any new releases (except Repion's at the end of the month), so a lot of the songs here kind of snuck up on me. Surprisingly, I'd still say I enjoyed May's releases more than April's, though!

1. Not Like Us -- Kendrick Lamar

The Drake-Kendrick beef finally graced my YouTube recommended at the beginning of May, just in time for "Not Like Us" to save me from the Inevitable Finals Gloom. The beat was what hooked me at first (so string instrument!! so texture!!), but there are SO MANY good lines here--more than enough to keep me excited about this song, even after I massively overplayed it in just a few days of finals. (I'm a 'leave songs on repeat for hours as I float in and out of The Work Vortex' kind of guy, you know?)

2. Candy Store -- from the 2014 Heathers soundtrack

No complicated reason here: the vocal performances are just breathtaking, so I haven't been able to get this song off my mind for the past two weeks. Shoutout to @embraceofday for introducing me to this one! (That was a couple of years ago, I think, but somehow it came back to me recently, and I've been more obsessed than ever!)

3. Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl -- yeule

I've been getting ads for I Saw the TV Glow all month, and they worked on me--sort of? I still have no plans to see the movie, but this song from the trailer has taken my listening by storm. Lyzette G on YouTube mentioned yeule last year (I am SO jealous of their taste in music), so I'm proud to say I like a yeule song now! This is peak 'driving home on the highway at night and your heart is all sparkles because she said she'll text you later', which is one of my favorite kinds of music, actually. (Yes, this is oddly specific. But it's also like A General Feeling, you know?) It's eerily inhuman but also full of longing; it keeps a consistent, hazy atmosphere while still including a few moments of emotional punch--it's great!!

4. Down Swinging -- Holly Humberstone

Saxophone solo!!!!!!! That actually isn't my favorite part of this song, though--the way Holly Humberstone sings "watch me keep my cool tonight" at the end of every chorus is full of just SO many emotions--shame, determination, acceptance, longing--I find it captivating (really, every lyric in this chorus is a gem). I love songs like this (see also: Betty Who's "You Can Cry Tomorrow" and Lee Hi's "HOLO"), songs that aren't about being over something bad but are just about being within something bad and getting by anyway. Being stuck, and knowing you're stuck, and being okay regardless? Sometimes, I just need to know that's possible, and "Down Swinging" makes it feel more real than ever.

5. I'm the Ocean -- Neil Young

My dad and I ran across this on our (twelve-hour) drive home from my university, while we were listening through this playlist. My dad is a huge Neil Young fan, while I'm just meh about him--"I'm the Ocean" caught my attention from first listen, though, and I've been revisiting it daily since then. (Funny enough, my dad doesn't care for this one.) I love its haziness, how it walks the line between hopelessness and rage and how you're never exactly sure how to feel about the speaker, or about the song itself. I love singing "I'm the ocean / I'm a giant undertow". (Like, that is a captivating lyric. So powerful, so simple yet so layered with meaning?) I love the crunchy TV-static guitar!!!

6. From Small Things (Big Things One Day Come) [Live at Malieveld...] -- Bruce Springsteen

Spotify keeps notifying me whenever Springsteen releases a new compilation album (they know me too well...)--and he just keeps releasing them. I'm not sure I needed all these albums, but I'm glad to get this gem, at least! This one has a super-singable chorus, and the fiddle solo is SUCH a high.

7. Turn it up -- PinkPantheress

Not particularly exciting, but super fun! It's a solid serotonin jam to go on a playlist with all the early Twice title tracks.

8. No Biggie -- Itzy

SO CUTE SO CUTE I LOVE IT. With "None of My Business" + this one, I've been so glad to see how well the post-NewJeans world suits Itzy. My main problem with a lot of their music, especially title tracks, is that the songs strain their vocals in ways that end up sounding unpleasant to me--a chilled-out song like this one reminds me just how listenable Itzy's music can be!

9. Rollercoaster - MTV Unplugged -- Bleachers

I think Spotify suggested this one to me. I am THE Bleachers girlie, but I'd never heard this specific version of "Rollercoaster" and oh my GOD does it make me emotional. If you've ever cried to "Someone to You" by Banners, I think you already understand what this one makes me feel.

10. The Ghost of Tom Joad (feat. Tom Morello) - Live in Anaheim, CA -- Bruce Springsteen

My #1 song from my #1 artist!! (Sorry, "Badlands". Your top spot was beautiful while it lasted, and we've had so many good times, but I just... I don't think you're the one for me anymore...) I did an essay about Springsteen for one of my finals, believe it or not, and I talked about this song in particular, so that explains the sudden spike in listens--though it's constantly in my rotation regardless.

11. Wave - Ollounder's Bold Dynamics Mix -- Ateez

It's a time-honored tradition, now: trashy club remixes are my THING during finals. This one stuck with me all month, though, because it's actually kind of compelling--I find it fun, even when I'm not speedrunning a final paper. "Wave" is just a really sweet song already, and I think this remix adds a variety of sounds that make it not just pleasant, but also super captivating.

12. Lookalike -- Conan Gray

No comment...

13. Set Me Free (Lindgren Remix) -- Twice

Re: trashy club remixes for finals. This is so trash, I can't even argue that it's worth listening to at any time other than finals season. (The synth riffs in the prechorus are kind of awesome, actually, but the vocals sound like you're listening to them through a tin can telephone.) It was a great hype song while I studied, though.

14. Maybe -- (G)I-DLE

My second-favorite G-IDLE song ever (though I have no idea how I'll make room for "Eyes Roll" and "Revenge" in an updated top ten) is never not welcome on my most-listened list, but I have no idea why this is here. Maybe I left it on repeat while working on a paper? It has the right kind of beat drop to give me the same kick of adrenaline as my trashy club remixes do--though in terms of how much I admire it, "Maybe" is on a whole different level!

15. BOA -- Megan Thee Stallion

This is a wildly addictive song. The Gwen Stefani sample is such a good hook, but it's used so sparingly that I'm left hanging on Megan's every word, waiting for it to appear again. The deep bass makes the song feel full, though--by the end, I'm left wanting more without feeling like the listening experience was actually incomplete. My favorite line is definitely the Birkenstocks one; I still smile every time I hear it! I'm so excited for the album :)

Five-Star Songs (& Albums!) This Month

BOA -- Megan Thee Stallion

Lime -- Soojin

With just a few twists on a sweet, summery formula, "Lime" manages to stand out from the pack of cheery dance songs coming out at this time of year. The orchestral intro is so exciting, and the weirdly gritty vocal production (I still have no idea why anyone would consider that on a song like this--this album has some truly baffling production choices amid all the fantastic ones) unexpectedly grew on me. This song does sweet-and-sour so well!!

[Speaking of baffling production choices: "Drop Top" from this same album is a very nice listen, but what the hell is happening in the bridge... It would totally be a five-star song for me if not for that screechy violin (?) note in the dance break. Like. Why. Why would you just repeat the same ear-piercing note. The whole time. Have you considered a riff? Or making it just a TAD BIT quieter? Or just... a lower note? Anyway. Also, the ENTIRE title track, "Mona Lisa", is a baffling production choice. Just. The whole thing.]

Not Like Us -- Kendrick Lamar

Summer Daze -- Soojin

I like "Lime" a lot more than this one, but I can't help but admire "Summer Daze" too! I'm so in love with how it's a pop b-side just feels so authentically indie-rock? Like, "Más Lejos" by Atalhos was one of my favorite songs of the summer last year, and that's an actual indie-rock song--and it feels like everyone who had a hand in "Summer Daze" understood exactly why people enjoy that type of song & decided to write a love letter to the genre. This track would fit right in with anyone's wistful k-indie playlist!

Entre todas lo arreglamos (album) -- Repion

Yeah, fuck it--I added Repion to the stanlist this month! After this EP, how could I not? The pre-release "El día no me da" had my heart already--it was so similar to their last album, though, that I found it a tad bit boring. But as an opener for a song like "Viernes", "El día no me da" reaches its full potential; it functions so perfectly that my qualms completely disappear. "El día no me da" builds up the energy to this delightful high, and then "Viernes" is the rollercoaster ride back down, full of twists and turns--I love the experimentation with rhythm, which continues in "Qué hay de ti?". It adds such a nice edge to the album; even though this release retains the things that drew me to Repion in the first place--strong vocals and incessant energy--it feels anything but boilerplate. This EP has only one flaw, and it's the kazoo-sounding thing that shows up in "Vienen de pasárselo bien". Maybe it's a perfectly lovely instrument in other contexts, but I think it just sounds silly here, and I really would rather just appreciate their (always delightful) harmonies in peace. Those harmonies do save the song for me, though! To be fair, this album only has four songs--putting it in the albums category is kind of a stretch--but these four songs are packed with enough interesting ideas to make this the fullest EP I've heard in forever. (Plus, Repion gets extra-credit points for releasing my album of the year--a full-length one, too--last year.) I'm not sure if this EP will turn out to be a smaller part of an upcoming album, but I really hope so--I love this sound for them!

[chiriwritesstuff]

The Girl in IT - Behind the Music! (Behind the Scenes, Pt. 1)

The LIST │ Series Masterlist

Hi. Hello!  

As I've mentioned before: I want to thank each and every one of you who has liked, loved, and shown support to 'The Girl in IT' - it's been a crazy, wild ride! To show my thanks, I wanted to release a series of behind-the-scenes looks at the lore of the series, my motivations, headcannons, and inspirations that have taken part in the development of the series - down to things like music, imagery, and the little bits that embody 'The Girl in IT'. I hope you all find it insightful!

Let me preface this by stating that music holds a significant—if not the most substantial—role as inspiration in my life. I don't know what I'll do without it. I grew up listening to the music my dad was into - a lot of The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, and Led Zeppelin. I remember as a kid begging my parents for a boombox every birthday. I used to help my friend (a radio DJ at our college radio) come up with playlists back in college, and it was probably the first time I ever felt like I was a part of something creatively that I felt like I was good at, on my own terms.  

With that said, I definitely make and compile playlists for every single fic / series that I've ever released.  

Are you ready?

The Music (aka the most important part):

Creating a playlist for 'The Girl in IT' was definitely on the easier side- I know for a fact that Sugar, as an IT girlie, has playlists for every single aspect of her life: playlists for every single mood, for the shower, to hang out with Sir Bubbles, and of course, one when she thinks about Joel. When she's in her office, hard at work on every single one of Joel's requests, she's "locked in", listening to the playlist that corresponds to her mood.  

The Playlist:

'The Girl in IT' General Playlist

The general playlist is one that I curated for the present moment - It's a combination of Joel and Sugar, sure, but it encompasses a few emotions for the series - it's sexy, full of yearning and hope. I wanted it to be somewhat playful - it's definitely more Joel influenced than Sugar. When I think of an artist who embodies 'The Girl in IT', I think of Cannons. 'Heartbeat Highway' plays a prominent role with my inspiration for the series - especially 'Desire', 'Loving You' and 'Crush'. I wrote a lot of the chapters with this album playing in the background. Give the album a listen, it's so good!

Highlights in the general playlist:

'Crush' - Cannons (Sugar)  

It's feeling like déjà vu when I'm standing next to you And all these years of running, they led me straight to you I feel my heart exploding, my blood begins to rush This feeling, I can't ignore it, this can't be just a crush

'Come on Closer' - Jem (Joel - Chapter 3 - The Dressing Room Scene !!!!!)

Come on closer I want to show you What I'd like to do You sit back now Just relax now I'll take care of you

'Golden Hour' - Jvke (Joel - aka the song he forced Ellie to put on his playlist after hearing it in the car)

I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin My radiant beam in the night I don't need no light to see you

Sugar:

'The Girl in IT' Sugar's Playlist

I will admit: Sugar's playlist was a bit harder to develop than Joel's. We know as a whole that she likes him, that she's pined for him, but his "rejection" - when he "didn't show" to her birthday party all those years ago - it broke her, and a lot of the music in her playlist reflects her emotions from that time. She's inexperienced in love and is a loner - I reckon she has a close group of friends, but she doesn't put herself out there. There's a lot of yearning, longing, and regret in her.  

Highlights in Sugar's playlist:

'What do you go home to?' - Explosions in the Sky 

When I was in college, I listened to a lot of Explosions in the Sky. Something about the composition of their music always hit me deeply - it always was able to capture my feelings of longing and yearning, without any pretty poetic lyrics. When we first start off in the series, Sugar is down and out. She lives alone in a shoebox of an apartment she can barely afford and hasn't had any significant relationships. She's in her late 30s - so she's given up on trying to put herself out there, mostly to protect her heart from rejection. I feel this song encapsulates Sugar as a whole, and this song still makes me cry til this day.

'Fantasy' - Mariah Carey

Oh, when you walk by every night Talking sweet and looking fine I get kinda hectic inside Mmm, baby I'm so into you Darling, if you only knew All the things that flow through my mind But it's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby When I close my eyes You come and you take me It's so deep in my daydreams But it's just a sweet, sweet fantasy baby

This is very on the nose - it perfectly captures how Sugar felt when she first met Joel. It's all very innocent- she's been in love with him since day one. There's a forbiddenness to her affection - Joel's closer to her parent's age than her own, so she sees her infatuation as a fantasy. She doesn't think she has a chance with him, not then, not now.  

'The Trick is to Keep Breathing' - Garbage

She's not the kind of girl Who likes to tell the world About the way she feels about herself She takes a little time In making up her mind She doesn't want to fight against the tide Lately I'm not the only one I say never trust anyone Always the one who has to drag her down Maybe you'll get what you want this time around

Sugar is the kind of girl to hide herself. I also imagine due to her IT background, she listens to a lot of Garbage (the band, not garbage music, LOL). She's the kind of girl to talk to herself in her mind, to remind herself to take it day by day, to just keep breathing. She doesn't trust people and their motivations, especially if they are positive and good-natured. I know that it's frustrating to see since Joel has always been forthcoming with his feelings for her, but we must remember: I always intended for Sugar to be messy, to be relatable, and mostly, to be complex in her emotions. She's not going to make it easy on him, but Joel - he's up for a challenge, he's been ready. Sugar honestly doesn't know what's coming.

Joel:

'The Girl in IT' Joel's Playlist

Joel's playlist was a no-brainer. He knows exactly what he wants – and that's Sugar. He sees her in such a way that it takes his breath away. Joel also loves music, but he's the kind of guy who is stuck in a certain era, so there are a lot of classics in this. I also will die on the hill that Ellie also influences his music tastes - she always connects her iPhone to Bluetooth when they're in the car together, and Joel would be the type to hear a song that reminds him of Sugar and demand that Ellie puts it in his playlist (i.e. - 'Golden Hour' by Jvke).

Highlights in Joel's Playlist:

'And I Love Her' - The Beatles

A love like ours Could never die As long as I Have you near me

I have this headcannon where Joel knows exactly how Sugar sees herself - and I think he wants to help her see that she is more than the girl she believes to be. He sees a girl who works her ass off and wants to break the mold of being in her parent's expectations for her - and he's drawn to that spirit. He loves her for who she is, no other explanation needed. 

'Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put a Spell on You)' - Aqualung

Ok, I know what you're thinking. This song is stalkerish. It's gotten a bad rap - but do I care? No, not really. Do I think that Joel has felt this way about Sugar all this time? ABSOLUTELY. This song definitely shows that Joel has been waiting and biding his time - he's worked his ass off for TEN YEARS trying to be worthy of Sugar. This is Joel, yearning. This is also a look into how he sees Sugar as she interacts in the world, that she's this beautiful creature who hides herself and her beauty, how she has the ability to turn heads but she just doesn't see it. Let's take a look at the lyrics, because I think it speaks for itself:

I've been watching your world from afar I've been trying to be where you are And I've been secretly falling apart Unseen To me, you're strange and you're beautiful You'd be so perfect with me But you just can't see You turn every head but you don't see me

'Waiting for a Girl Like You' - Foreigner

When you love someone When you love someone It feels so right, so warm and true I need to know if you feel it too Maybe I'm wrong Won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong? This heart of mine has been hurt before This time I want to be sure

In this series, Joel has only been in one significant relationship: the one that he had with Sarah's mom. Now, we can sit and deliberate the nature of their relationship and how it ended, but honestly, I don't have the attention span nor the energy to do so. I think that after that relationship ended, Joel kind of gave up on love. He buried himself in his work and focused on being a good father, which, I think he has done a tremendous job at. When he first meets Sugar, Sarah is already an adult and is about to leave the nest. Joel is lonely. He's been ready to find love again, and I think when he first meets Sugar, this is the song that he immediately plays in his truck after that fateful day at the mall. He has been waiting for a girl like her, all this time.

'Here with Me' - Dido

And I won't go, I won't sleep I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me And I won't leave and I can't hide I cannot be, until you're resting here with me

If I am not mistaken, in the first episode of 'The Last of Us', in the kitchen scene, Dido was playing in the background. I've loved Dido forever - ever since my teen heart heard 'Here with Me' on 'Roswell' (on the WB!!! Older Geriatric Millenials RISE!). This is the song I think Joel has in mind after his confrontation with Sugar's dad, telling him to leave the birthday party and saying that he's not good enough to be with her. Joel in 'The Girl in IT' is a devoted Joel, and has always wanted Sugar to be by his side, even back then. This song also plays with his determination to be with her, to pay his dues, and to work his ass off to be the best version of himself for her. He's always been there and hasn't left her - and I think he would always be there if things didn't work out.  

Stay tuned for more behind-the-scenes looks at 'The Girl in IT', coming soon!

[molsno]

yesterday, I did shrooms for the first time. I wasn't really that sure what to expect. I take weed gummies every week, and I have experienced some psychogenic effects from them in the past, so I thought that they would be somewhat comparable, but they're really not. I wanted to write about my experience and organize my thoughts, so I tried to go into as much detail as possible. this post is very long, so I've put it under a read more.

first of all, I took them via capsule. I don't handle strong, bitter tastes very well, and I'd heard that's what they tasted like, so my girlfriend and I ground them up into a fine dust and packed them into pills. I ended up taking 6 pills, for a total of 1.8 grams of shrooms. I ate light beforehand since I knew nausea might be a problem. I just had a simple cheese and salami sandwich and then swallowed the pills.

it took a while for them to take effect, and I was a little anxious to find out how I would react. that said, I was in a pretty good mood yesterday - I had just had a job interview that I thought went really well, so I'd been feeling a little better than usual. normally I'm quite pessimistic, but I knew that going into a trip with a negative mindset would make for a bad experience, so I tried not to stress over it too much.

the effects were mild at first. my pupils began to dilate, and the ceiling looked as though it was tilting and rotating. the popcorn pattern had the illusion that it was sliding to the left as I stared at it, which made me giggly. based on what I'd heard, I thought that I would start having stronger visual distortions, and maybe even some hallucinations. that wasn't the case. I'd taken a milder strain of shrooms - golden teacher. and I was about to learn just how fitting that name was.

slowly, I started tearing up. I wasn't sure why it was happening at first; I thought it was just because I'd had my eyes open for a long time. but soon enough, the floodgates burst. the world fully opened up to me, and before I knew it, I couldn't stop crying tears of pure, unrestrained joy.

it's difficult to describe what it felt like, so let me give you some context. for the past 6 months, I've been unemployed since being laid off from my job, and I've been struggling to hold it together emotionally as things continue to fall apart around me. recently, every day has made me question whether or not life was even worth living. I've felt powerless to help myself as the horrors of capitalism continue to push me down and break my spirit. I've felt alienated from my friends, especially as many of them have left me and the friends I hold dear. and due to my aforementioned powerlessness, I felt as if it was impossible for me to truly help the people I care about as much as I want to, even when they're going through horrible crises, especially because of my own fears holding me back.

in an instant, all of that changed. I can honestly say I've never felt happier in my life than I did yesterday. I approached the window, which extends from floor to ceiling, and put my hands against it as I looked out. the sky was overcast, but the world had never seemed so bright. as I listened to the album "nurture" by porter robinson, I looked down at the city, watching all of the people walking around, and it dawned on me that like all of them, I'm just another person in this wide world.

it can be difficult for me to understand that, because being a marginalized trans woman living under a capitalist regime makes me feel so insignificant. but in reality, I'm connected to every single organism who's ever lived on this planet, and in that moment, I felt like I really understood what it means to be human.

in our industrialized society, it can be all too easy to downplay the significance of nature, to see it as less important than us, or in the worst cases, to see it as an obstacle to our survival. but that's simply not true! humans aren't separate from nature; we're just another part of it. even in a concrete jungle made by human and mechanical hands, nature surrounds us, we just have to know where to look.

sure, nature can be dangerous. there are plants, animals, and fungi that can easily kill us if we don't know what we're doing, if we don't respect their needs and desires. but humans survived for all of these millions of years by helping each other, by teaching each other, and by loving each other. even in the harshest conditions, we're incredibly resilient due to our eagerness to care for one another.

with tears still streaming down my face, I couldn't hold myself back from telling the people I care about how happy I was to know them and how much I love them, and how happy I was to be alive. for the first time in a long, long time, I felt genuine hope. I truly felt that no matter what happens, everything will turn out alright.

incidentally, I really wanted to go for a walk outside, but my girlfriend advised me not to, both because she was worried about my safety, and because there were too many people out there, and I was very obviously tripping. I think she made the right call this time, as I have no idea how a stranger would have reacted when I inevitably approached them with tears streaming down my face and told them how beautiful the world is. still, I believe that going for a walk through the park on shrooms some time would be really enjoyable. perhaps one day I can, when I have more experience and I'm in a less populated area.

in any case, I genuinely believe that these mushrooms were communicating with me. sure, we bought these from a company, meaning they were probably grown in a lab or some other artificial environment, but mushrooms just like these exist all over the world. they wanted to teach me to appreciate the natural environments they originated from. if I truly took their lesson to heart, if I researched and studied hard enough, if I learned how to reliably and consistently identify the organisms that exist in the world around me, it would be possible for me to go to a forest and safely identify mushrooms like these growing in the wild, where I could just pick them and eat them freely.

is it naive for me to believe that they intended to teach me that? maybe, but I don't think so. I would say I'm overall a skeptical person, but after this experience, I don't think it's fair for me to discount their intelligence. we may be different, but we're ultimately both organisms that exist on this earth together, and we all share a common ancestor. I'm no mycologist, but there are fungi out there that know how to take control of an ant's body and use it to spread their spores. I think it's fair to believe that they're intelligent enough to communicate with humans in their own way. that's why I think that golden teacher is the perfect name for them.

soon enough, the peak of my trip began to fade, and I stopped crying. I eventually got a headache, but I still felt wonderful. I ate some oreos and drank a glass of milk, then laid down for a while and processed my thoughts in silence.

after some time, I started to feel tired, and even a bit nauseous. I wanted to hold it in, but after an hour or so, it only grew stronger, so I rushed to the restroom and threw up. I hadn't been prepared for the nausea - I heard that it would usually only take effect about an hour into the trip, but mine didn't hit me until several hours after it had ended. although my stomach felt better, my head still hurt. despite being exhausted, I found myself unable to sleep. I stayed awake for hours. 2 am came to pass, then 3 am, then 4 am. at some point, I think I did fall asleep, as I remember having some dreams, but it was a very light sleep, and wasn't continuous at all. as I write this, I'm still very tired. I think I'm going to take melatonin tonight to help me sleep.

during my trip, I wanted to feel the euphoria I'd been feeling forever. but as it faded, I realized I don't need to. and in fact, I actually didn't want to; feeling so much joy was actually very overwhelming! it's difficult for me to convey just how strong the emotions I felt were, and having so many revelations in such a brief period of time was overly taxing on my brain. not to mention, throwing up and being unable to sleep was pretty unpleasant.

these mushrooms were never going to solve my problems or cure the emptiness I've felt inside, and it would be disrespectful toward them to ask them to do that. rather, they taught me how to obtain happiness for myself. they taught me to find value in the world around me, to pay attention to the nature that surrounds me in my day to day life, to be proactive and vulnerable with the people I care about, and to remember my place in the world. if I want to feel this joy, I have to put these lessons into practice, and work to make the world a better place for everyone. and I'm going to try my best do just that.

while I'd love to do this again (ideally with a bit more preparation), it's not something I can take for granted. I'm really glad I got to have this experience. I feel like it changed me for the better, and I want to do for the world what these mushrooms did for me. ❤️

[virgo-mess]

Silver Thread Chapter 8 part 2

Finally finished this part for you guys! I was ridiculously hung up on the Gala for some reason, and I think it's because the events of the Gala aren't super important, but the context is. So, there is some vague small talk surrounding it and some cute fluffy build-up, but ultimately, this chapter is very dark. So please read with discretion or skip this chapter all together if you have to. That being said, this part is over 16,000 words so I'm sorry if you're reading this super late. I hope that those of you are able to get through this and like it for what it is... and I'm sorry.

BIG TRIGGER WARNINGS: Graphic Violence, Abduction, Date rape drugging, Graphic attempted rape, and Graphic sexual assault, I left it kind of vague, but you can interpret that one part with the...however you'd like. There's a new character Pov in this part and Veda, Terry, Margaret, and Larry all have some cute moments in here.

PS: As usual some creative liberties were taken the pictures of the Majestic Downtown in downtown LA, but I've moved the location to Hollywood just because I can, jk it's just because I overthink everything and thought it was necessary for the plot. So, the "Majestic Hollywood" isn't a real place but is a real place all at the same time. Just ignore my rambling here.

Veda’s Pov

Sunday rolled around much quicker than Veda would’ve liked but it wasn’t because she was still nervous about going to the annual charity Gala at the Majestic Hollywood venue with Terry. She was still kind of nervous about the gala but the weekend she spent getting to know some of the kind of people in Terry’s world defiantly helped diminish a lot of her nerves. Now she was more excited about it than anything, but she still found herself not wanting their trip at the ranch to end. It was mostly because they made so many lasting memories in such a short period of time, they took enough pictures to fill two photo albums already and now she felt even closer to Terry on an emotional level.

Terry was able to open up to her a bit more about the time he spent in Vietnam after his emotional undoing during the fourth of July and as always Veda listened empathetically, planting comforting kisses on his temple as she stroked his hair. They spent most of Saturday cuddled up on the terrace or in their private whirlpool just enjoying each other’s company before taking their serene walk up to the waterfalls. They laughed, snapped pictures, and playfully splashed each other for what felt like hours in their perfect little bubble loving and taking care of each other like it was the only thing they lived for. So, when Sunday did finally come, and Veda had to watch the beautiful lavender and grand olive trees swaying in the summer wind like they were bidding her a farewell she couldn’t help but feel sad, a single tear rolled down her rosy cheek as the pulled out of the winding driveway.  

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Terry asked softly, as he pulled the car out of the winding driveway and onto the main road and gave her hand a gentle reassuring squeeze. Veda smiled at him adoringly, loving how he never seemed to miss a thing and knew her so well now.

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s not a big deal. I just really loved staying at the ranch with you and I’d definitely love to come back to it one day” she said sweetly, Terry’s eyes softened as he looked over at her in the glow of the summer sunshine.

“Oh, baby girl, we can go back every year if you want to, it can be our annual weekend getaway” he beamed, bringing her hand up to his lips to pepper it with adoring kisses. Veda giggled; her heart always fluttered at him making so many future plans for them always gently reassuring her that they were very much a sure thing.

“I’d love that, my love” Veda cooed, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek before resting her cheek on his strong with a content smile on her face. They spent the rest of the drive back to the Ennis house in one of their serene silences giving each other tender kisses as they got stuck in some of LA’s notoriously bad traffic. They didn’t mind of course, there was very few people either of them would enjoy being couped up in car with for a few hours with and Veda was glad Terry was one of hers and that she was one of his. She imagined she could quite happily live her life practically anywhere as long as Terry was by her side and that was something she never wanted to change. She loved and craved Terry with every fiber of her being.

They made it home around noon and spent the rest of the afternoon cuddled up by the pool reading and making small talk while they shared a sweet lunch. Just trying to fill in some time before they had to go get ready for the gala, Margaret and Veda agreed to help each other with their hair and make up which Veda was very excited about. Veda and Lucielle hadn’t had much time to do any mother and daughter bonding these days even though her mom wanted to drop her job in Fresno after hearing what happened at the pier. Veda of course refused to let her do that no matter how much she missed seeing and spending time with her on a daily basis. Margaret was very keen to help her fill that little void; she had no shame in admitting to Terry that Veda was the only reason she even agreed to attend the gala with them tonight.

“Alright, Mr. Silver, I’m stealing this darling away from you now and there’s nothing you can do about it” Maragret quipped, stepping out onto the pool patio with a dress bag in her hands. Veda giggled watching a playful scowl cross Terry’s face as he narrowed his eyes at her from the chair they were currently cuddled up on.

“Watch it Margaret, if you keep stealing my girlfriend from me, I might have to let you go with a very good severance package of course” Terry said jokingly, playfully pouting at Veda with big blue puppy eyes when she wiggled out of his grasp. Veda rolled her eyes and quickly peppered his face with kisses before bouncing over to Margaret excitedly.

“Doing that won’t stop me from stealing her from you, sir. So, you’d just be without a girlfriend and a million dollars” Margaret said, flashing Terry a coy smile before tugging Veda into the house gently. Veda could hear Terry chuckling softly as they entered the house and made their way down the loggia to the master bedroom.

“What kind of dress did you get Margaret” Veda asked excitedly as she pointed to the dress bag she was still holding. Veda had gone dress shopping with Terry not too long before they left for their trip, Terry as usual was very eager to have her try on a ton of very pricey dresses. At some point she could just tell he was having a lot of fun dressing and undressing her in the dressing room, they did get a little handsy in there and she knew the snobby store attendant knew based on the nasty look she shot her when they were leaving.

“Take a look darling” Maragret said giving her a fond smile as she unzipped the bag, revealing a tea length navy blue dress with quarter length sheer sleeves that was covered in a pretty silver floral pattern. Veda gasped with big grin on her face as she eyed the dress.

“Oh, wow, Margaret it’s beautiful. You’re going to look amazing” Veda said sweetly, Margaret chuckled stroking one of Veda’s cheeks affectionately.

“You’re such a darling, what dress did you and Mr. Silver end up picking?” Margaret asked with a warm maternal smile as she moved toward the vanity to pull out a curling wand and make up. Veda giggled with a slightly impish grin on her face as she urged Margaret to sit on the vanity chair.

“You’ll just have to wait and see. I’m determined to get you all dolled up for tonight, who knows you might even go home with a handsome stranger tonight” Veda chirped, plugging in the curling wand, and getting right to work on Margaret’s makeup. Margaret chuckled with an amused smile on her face as Veda eagerly started doing her eyeshadow and liner.

“Darling, I haven’t met a handsome stranger since my late Mr. Spencer the only one leaving with a handsome man tonight is you. I do have to warn you that tons of desperate girls fawn over Mr. Silver at these events, and I don’t want you to feel discouraged. Mr. Silver only has eyes for you and if any of those women are anything less than polite to you, I’ll handle them.” Margaret said seriously, Veda smiled bashfully as she applied a little concealer and a soft pink blush to Margaret’s fair cheeks and started curling her light blonde hair.

“I know you will Margaret, you all take such good care of me and I’m not too worried about any of those desperate girls. Terry hardly even looks at them unless they’re being rude to me, and I know how to kill them with kindness. Here take a look” Veda said, finishing up with her hair Margaret flashed her another warm maternal smile before taking a look at herself in the mirror.

“Thank you, darling, I like it very much” Margaret said sincerely, stroking one of Veda’s cheeks affectionately for a long moment Veda gave her a sweet smile and placed her hand on top of hers gently.

“Are you okay?” Veda asked softly, Margaret nodded seeming to snap out whatever daydream she was in and rose up from the vanity seat to wrap Veda in a warm embrace. Veda didn’t hesitate to hug her back sensing that she really needed it after whatever distant memory plagued her mind.

“Yes, darling I’m fine, you just remind of someone I used to know is all. Here, have a seat and we’ll get started on you now” Maragaret said, gently urging her to sit down on the vanity seat, Veda sat and wondered who she could possibly remind her of, but she could sense that it might be a touchy subject and didn’t want to pry. So, Veda left the topic alone and shifted their conversation into something more lighthearted while Margaret got to work on her hair and makeup. Margaret was always so sweet to her but never really delved into the more personal aspects of her life. All Veda really knew was that her late husband had passed away in a car accident about fifteen years ago, Margaret never remarried after that, and she never mentioned ever having any children. Veda had always assumed she didn’t, but she never considered the possibility that maybe something had happened to any children they did have either.  

Veda and Margaret laughed and gossiped in a way that was very similar to the way Veda and Lucille often did, dancing on that sweet spot between having a strong mother- daughter bond and being the best of friends. While Margaret applied her makeup in a warm smokey look with shades of gold and deep burgundy, a thin layer of eyeliner and mascara, and then a very soft pink blush. Veda liked that it was a lot softer than some of the more shocking looks they usually published in the high fashion magazines, and it would go perfectly with the short burgundy cocktail dress she and Terry had picked out. Margaret then styled her black wavy hair into a more uniform curled half updo with pretty face framing strands just the way Veda liked it.

“Thank you, Margaret, this will go perfectly with my outfit tonight” Veda said happily, pulling her in for another warm hug with a beaming smile on her face. Margaret chuckled softly, smiling back affectionately when she let her go.

“You’re very welcome, darling, I’d love to see your outfit, why don’t you go get dressed while I tell Mr. Silver we’ll be ready shortly so he can come get dressed too. I’ll just use the guest bath, alight” Margaret said warmly, Veda nodded giving her one last quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before skipping towards the closet to pull out her short, form fitted burgundy off the shoulder cocktail dress, sheer black tights, and closed toed Jimmy Choo black suede platforms. Veda thought the ankle strap and thicker heel might help her walk in them a little better even though she knew Terry had no problem carrying her around if she asked him to. By the time Veda had dressed and stepped out of the close, Terry was already tying his tie in front of the full-length mirror.

“Need any help with that, my love?” Veda asked coyly, as she leaned against the closet doorway causally, Terry’s blue eyes lit up when he looked at her just like she knew they would.

“Yes, please. You’re so gorgeous” he breathed out, eagerly walking towards her with a bashful smile on his face, Veda smiled back at him with rosy cheeks she gave him a sweet kiss on the lips before reaching up to tie his black tie. Terry beamed down at her, stoking her cheek softly with a finger.

“And you’re very handsome.” she cooed, gently smoothing out his tie before giving him another sweet kiss on the lips. “May I ask you something” Veda said, looking up at Terry with curious eyes as she moved to grab the blazer he was planning to wear tonight.

“Of course, you may, baby girl, you can always ask me anything. Are you still a little nervous about tonight” Terry said softly, still stroking her cheek as he gazed into her brown eyes lovingly. Veda gave him a reassuring smile as she shook her head, gently urging him to turn around for her.

“No, I’m really excited about tonight actually. My question was in regard to Margaret, she doesn’t really talk about Mr. Spencer or her life back in England too much. Was Mr. Spencer the only family she had?” Veda asked curiously, helping Terry into his burgundy blazer which he matched to her dress perfectly Veda’s heart fluttered when he said it was so everyone knew they were an item, she loved that he loved being as exclusive with her as she was with him. Terry turned around to meet her gaze once she was done, there was a bit of a somber dancing in his blue eyes and Veda immediately regretted her nosy line of questioning.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I was just wondering because she said that I remind her of someone is all.” Veda said softly, reaching out to hold both of his hands gently, Terry flashed her a reassuring smile as be brought her small hands up to his lips and placed comforting kisses on the backs of them.

“No need to apologize, sweetheart. Margaret is very reserved when it comes to personal matters, if she told you that much that means she really adores you and I’m sure she doesn’t mind me telling you. It’s just a tough subject to talk about because she does have other family, but she hasn’t talked to them in years there’s a whole Spencer family feud going on from my knowledge. She was probably referring to her daughter, Rebecca, they’ve had a very difficult relationship since Mr. Spencer passed but I know Margaret really misses her, and she wishes they were closer.” Terry said softly, Veda nodded feeling a bit relieved but still concerned, that wasn’t the answer she was expecting but it was much better than her first assumption.

“Aw, that’s so sad, I understand why that wouldn’t be something she would want to talk about. Have they not tried to reconcile?” Veda asked, still looking up at him with curious eyes while Terry rubbed soothing circles on her hands.

“I know Margaret has tried to reach out but I’m not sure if she ever got a response, I’m not too sure what exactly happened between them, but I hope Rebecca comes around though I can understand what it might be like on her side of things too.” Terry said sincerely, Veda nodded knowing exactly what he meant since moving in she noticed Terry avoided a lot of his parents calls. She didn’t know what it was like not to have supportive parents even when her dad was around, he always encouraged her to find her own path, she wasn’t sure why Rebecca wasn’t reaching back out to Margaret, but she hoped Rebecca could put whatever it was aside for Margaret’s sake. She couldn’t imagine abandoning her own Mom in a foreign country no matter how upset she was at her.

“Yeah, I hope so too for Margaret’s sake, shall we get going I know the traffic up towards Hollywood can be rough at this time and Larry deserves to eat at a decent hour” Veda said shifting their conversation out of the somber dive it had taken with a bright smile. Terry chuckled nodding in acknowledgement.

“That we shall but first off, I got you something” Terry said with a mischievous glint in his eyes, Veda rolled her eyes though she was still smiling at him with loving brown eyes. She wished he would stop spending so much money on gifts for her she hadn’t exactly planned on going anywhere anytime soon, the transfer request felt like some weird far-off dream to her now.

“You have to stop showering me with gifts, Romeo, believe it or not we’re running out of space in here” she said jokingly, Terry shrugged giving her a kiss on the tip of her nose before pulling out a large black velvet box and revealing a beautiful diamond necklace with a tear drop ruby hanging in the middle of the chain. Veda gasped looking at the expensive necklace with wide doe eyes.

“We’ll just have to buy a bigger house then” Terry said nonchalantly, pulling the necklace out and clasping it around her neck gently. “See, it goes with your dress perfectly. You look amazing, baby girl” he said giving her another sweet kiss on the cheek with an adoring smile on his face. Veda blushed getting slightly teary eyed at the fact he looked so serious about them buying a bigger house together.

“We can’t buy a house until I can pay for half of it Mr. Silver, but thank you for the beautiful necklace, my love. I love it and I love you so much” Veda cooed, wrapping her arms around his torso in the form of a hug, Terry didn’t hesitate to hug her back as he placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

“I love you more, sweetheart, your wish is always my command you know that. Now let’s go show you off, huh” Terry said, giving her another tender kiss on the forehead he offered her his arm in true gentleman fashion and led her out of the bedroom and down the center loggia. The traffic over to Hollywood was as heavy as Veda predicted it would be, she and Terry took the opportunity to express just how good they thought the other looked while Veda sat in Terry’s lap in the backseat of the Rolls Royce Silver Wraith. Margaret had insisted on sitting up front by Larry as soon as she saw the slightly hungry look, they were giving each other by the time they ventured into the living room.

“If you mess her hair up Mr. Silver, I swear I won’t be saving you from the loquacious Walter Getty’s incessant bragging this evening” Maragaret quipped, pulling them out of their ardent kissing session with a pointed look on her face just as Larry was pulling in front of the Majestic Hollywood’s grand arched windows and marble columns. Veda blushed shifting in Terry’s lap with a bashful smile paying on her face.

“That’s not fair, Margaret, she threw herself at me what’s a man to do” Terry said teasingly, Veda pouted up at him and gave him a playful swat on the arm.

“That’s not true Margaret, he pounced on me you saw him” Veda said jokingly, Terry gave her a look of mock offense as he gripped one of her ass cheeks teasingly and trailed a few open mouth kisses down the length of her neck and shoulder. Veda bit back a moan as she felt a love bite forming on her shoulder, she crossed her legs to ease some of the throbbing she currently had radiating through her heat at the moment. She was mildly regretting wearing tights this evening. She should’ve known it was going to be virtually impossible for them to keep their hands off each other, now she was doomed to cross her fabric covered legs all night just to get a little friction. Larry chuckled softly under his breath as he parked the car in front of the venues main entrance.

“My innocent darling would never do such a thing; Mr. Silver and you know it. I’m going to go check us all in, you two are free to take as much time as you need to get whatever’s in your system out of it. We have foster children to raise money for” Margaret said firmly as Larry got out of the car to open her door for her while Terry and Veda giggled in the backseat.

“I can’t believe you threw me under the bus and told Margaret a little white lie, baby girl. You’re the one that pounced on me, and you know it” Terry chided, playfully narrowing his amused blue eyes at her Veda giggled with a mad blush on her cheeks. She had in fact been the one to pounce on him, those invisible walls she had built up were tumbling down quickly and they were taking her discomfort towards intimacy with them, and it was all because of Terry. Veda gazed up at him with shy eyes, playing with the ends of his black curls gently so she wouldn’t mess up his perfect ponytail.

“I know I did, Terry it’s just that I feel so close to you on an emotional and mental level and now I think I’m ready to feel that way with you on a physical level too…” she trailed shyly, Terry’s blue eyes softened as they gazed deeply into her brown ones for a long moment. They sat in silence for a moment, just staring at each other and Veda began to worry that the confession had brought forth some of her initial fears surrounding the nature of their relationship. Veda dropped her hand from his hair sharply and moved to pull away from him, suddenly feeling very self-conscious and a little discourage by his lack of response.

Her moving seemed to snap Terry out of whatever place his mind had wandered off to, he wrapped his arms around her tightly and gave her a soft reassuring smile before he pulled her in for a very passionate kiss. Veda melted into him almost immediately, every ounce of discouragement seemed to melt away and all she felt was his endless love and devotion radiating off of him. It filled her entire being, all consuming in the most beautiful way possible.

“I’m sorry, Veda, I didn’t mean to space out on you like that, you just surprised me that’s all. I’m so happy and honored that you’re considering being intimate with me. I just want to make sure that you’re saying it because you really want to and not because you think I want to.” Terry said softly, reaching up to cradle her face in his hands and gently stroke her cheeks with his thumbs, still gazing deeply into her eyes. Veda nodded her head eagerly with a coy smile playing on her lips as she gazed back at him.

“Yes, Terry I really want to, we don’t have to do it tonight of course. You just told me to let you know when I was ready and I am, my love” she said sincerely, Terry let out a content sigh as he peppered her face with more adoring kisses than Veda could count. She let out a content sigh of her own, feeling her heart swell with a joy that she only ever felt when she was with Terry.

“You make me so happy, sweetheart. I love you so much, I really wished you had told me about this back at the house. I would’ve skipped the gala and flew us out to France in a heartbeat, we can still do that tomorrow.” Terry said happily, Veda giggled shaking her head at him with a beaming smile on her face.

“We can’t just fly to France, silly, we just got back from a trip this morning. We really should be getting to Margaret though” she said teasingly, giving him a playful kiss on the tip of his nose. Terry chuckled, gently setting her down on the seat so he could open up the door and escort her to the gala.

“Don’t be silly, there’s no rule against taking two trips in a row. I’m sure your boss doesn’t mind you skipping work one bit” he said, stepping out of the car and offering her his hand. Veda giggled, rolling her eyes at him playfully.

Terry helped Veda out of the car, and they ventured under the venue’s large archway, Veda gawked at the imposing columns and the gorgeous large glass window she could hear Terry chuckling softly beside her as he gazed at her adoringly.

“Just you wait, baby girl” he cooed, placing a quick kiss on her cheek just as a worker opened the large, gilded door for them. Veda beamed up at him with rosy cheeks, Terry smiled back her adoringly as he led her into the lively lobby, her ears picked up some smooth jazz music echoing through the majestic room and the happy chatter of other gala attendees dressed in relaxed suits and classy cocktail dresses, Veda felt her excitement pick up as she gazed up at the 30-foot-high Italian ceilings, marble columns, and marble floor. Terry gently guided her further into the lobby and down a grand marble staircase.

“This is so beautiful, Terry” Veda said dreamily, as they walked into the main ballroom to see gorgeous chandeliers and a plethora of tables adorned in luscious clothes and awe-inspiring center pieces. Terry beamed at her adoringly before placing a tender kiss on her cheek, they found Margaret patiently waiting for them as she glanced at some of the things up for auction on a large table. Veda noticed a lot of nosy parties gaping at her and Terry while they had some hushed conversations, Veda leaned further into Terry’s side having felt a little uncomfortable under their scrutinizing eyes. The most intense gaze was coming from very leggy blonde woman with catlike green eyes, she was dressed in a revealing gold cocktail dress with a high slit up on thigh. Veda wrapped her arms around Terry’s torso possessively, she had a feeling the woman’s intense gaze had everything to do with the fact she was glued to Terry’s arm.

“I’m glad you like it, sweetheart. Don’t worry about them, you’re the most beautiful woman here by far” he cooed into her ear as he gave her another tender kiss on the cheek, Veda gave him a sweet smile with a mildly bashful blush gracing her cheeks. He could read her like a book now.

“Thank you, my love. So, what’s on the agenda?” she asked, Terry chuckled he always found her eagerness adorable.

“First, we mingle over cocktails I’ve got some people I really would like you to meet tonight, the dean of admissions from USC is here. I know you’re still thinking about USC, this is absolutely a no pressure meeting, baby girl. I just thought you’d like to hear about some other scholarship options, and she can answer all your questions. After cocktail hour we have dinner then there will be a lot of speeches and after that the real party begins. There are auctions as you know but there will also be dancing….” Terry trailed teasingly; Veda giggled because he knew the promise of dancing sold her on any deal, her heart fluttered at him tracking down the USC dean of admissions for her.

“You didn’t tell me there would be dancing, Mr. Silver, we haven’t gotten to dance since my birthday ball. Thank you for tracking down the dean of admissions for me, I really appreciate it and you, my love” she cooed lovingly, Terry gave her a sweet peck on the lips and a beaming smile.

“You’re very welcome, baby girl, should we go have a chat with her now?” Terry asked, Veda noticed the hopeful note in his tone, and she let her eyes soften as she gazed up at him.

“Of course I do, Romeo, lets go”

🖤🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🖤🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶

Tommy’s Pov

Tommy sighed, anxiously tapping his fingers on his steering wheel of his dad’s Cadilac Fleetwood watching men clad in classic suits and women dressed in modish cocktail dresses of various lengths wander in and out of the Majestic Hollywood’s lobby. If people were wandering around that meant dinner was over and the auctions, live music, and dancing had started. Sneaking into the hotel’s annual charity gala shouldn’t be that hard, he’s been to a few of them himself, but Tommy didn’t want to be at this one, not tonight, not with Dutch, not Chad. Not now that he knew what they were gearing up to do. Right now, Tommy was just waiting for an opening to rush in and warn Veda and her fiancé what Dutch and Chad were planning, he knew her fiancé was the one that smashed his mom’s China and keyed his new Corvette. Tommy didn’t really care though; he couldn’t deny he deserved some sort of punishment after what he said and what he let Chad do to her. For now, he was just glad his spot at Berkley wasn’t being threatened at the present moment.

  Tommy could vaguely hear Dutch and Chad engaging in a hushed conversation from where they stood outside the car surveying the patrons lingering in the cobblestone garden. They’d been increasingly hostile towards him since he asked them a pointed question about what they were up to tonight when they passed Hollywood Blvd but really their growing contempt for him started weeks prior. Tommy felt extremely guilty about what he let Chad do to Veda at the pier and about threatening her like that, he had only said most of what he said out of jealousy. Tommy had developed a crush on her shortly after she moved to Pasadena, but the guys thought it’d be a good idea to have one of them mess with her as a way to get back at Daniel.

Tommy hated the idea, obviously, but he didn’t have the guts to stand up to his friends back then, he knew they’d chew him out for wanting to be with some poor girl from Jersey no matter how beautiful she was. Veda was right nothing that happened with Cobra Kai was her fault and yet she was the one who suffered most, and this really struck a chord in Tommy. So, he never ended up telling Dutch about running into her or her new fiancé and he made Chad swear not to say anything either given his own criminal actions at the pier that day. Tommy should’ve known Chad wouldn’t stay true to his word, if there was one thing Chad couldn’t do it was keep a secret. He let everything spill long before he even got the restraining order she filed against him, and he made sure to leave his little misdeed out of the retelling of course. After he and Dutch got into a violent confrontation about the whole thing, Tommy stopped hanging out with him and Chad all together. He’d been spending the last few weeks with Bobby and Johnny going to Golf N’ Stuff and the movies.

So needless to say, Tommy was shocked when they showed up at his front door tonight asking for a ride because not only did Chad have a horrible new haircut and two broken arms, but his parents confiscated his Camero and kicked him out of the house. Tommy blindly agreed but only because Chad looked like he’d been through the ringer even though he was dressed in a nice suit. If he had known what they were planning to do before he pulled up to the hotel, he would’ve turned back, and they knew it. They kept him in the dark up until Dutch swung his passenger door open and revealed his plan to violate Veda LaRusso for having the nerve to dump him and find a man he could never compete with. Tommy could empathize with him on not being picked at least, first he lost Ali to Johnny and then he lost Veda to Dutch, he was sure Veda didn’t know he liked her that way but that didn’t stop his ego from being bruised. But Tommy couldn’t condone what Dutch was about to do to her in retaliation just like he couldn’t condone what he and Chad did to her at the pier.  Tommy wished he had spoken up in the dojo that day he heard Dutch and Johnny were cooking up another way to mess with Daniel LaRusso. Veda wasn’t the first girl Dutch emotionally and physically abused; she was just the first one that had someone to defend her. Now his silence had Dutch thinking he was untouchable, invincible even. Tommy knew he couldn’t change the past, but he was hoping he could change the future.

 Tommy glared at them from the driver’s seat, watching Dutch hastily adjust his tie and help fix Chad’s mess of a haircut. Tommy had to stifle a laugh when he swung open his front door to see Chad looking like his golden boy locks were in a losing battle with a weedwhacker.

“This is ridiculous guys, seriously how is Chad even going to help with two fucked up arms and a restraining order, huh, he’s not even supposed to be within 100 yards of Veda. You’re violating that right now Chaddy. Let’s just go see that new movie Back to the Future it’s got that kid from Teen Wolf and Family Ties and Christoper Lloyd, Bobby and Jimmy said it was pretty good.” Tommy said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, he supposed he could just leave them here it would at least slow them down if they didn’t have a getaway driver, but he knew if he could get to Veda’s giant of a fiancé first Dutch and Chad didn’t stand a chance. He really couldn’t believe they were even considering this an option after Chad was in the ER for a day and in the hospital for three.  Dutch bent down to glare at him through the open passenger door with intimidating, hollow brown eyes and a wicked looking smirk plastered on his face as he raked a rough hand through his peroxide strands.

“Well, no shit, Tommy, that’s why you’re going to help me and Chaddy here is only handling this” he said lowly, holding up a vile filled with clear liquid in his hand. Tommy’s eyes widened in disbelief, as if planning to rape and beat his ex-girlfriend to death wasn’t bad enough. Dutch was also in violation of his probation and was willing to throw his entire life away at this point, he didn’t have the luxury of being 17 anymore and Tommy doubted he could handle being tried as an adult. Tommy felt nauseated as he jolted himself out of the car, charging at Dutch with a speed he didn’t know he was capable of.

“What the hell is wrong with you, you can’t give her that shit! You’re not even supposed to have that shit with your probation what are you, fucking stupid?! Give me that!” Tommy sneered, attempting to pry the vile out of Dutch’s iron grip erratically. Dutch chuckled darkly, amusement dancing in his darkened eyes as he held the vile just out of reach. Chad eye’s darted between them, their commotion was starting to attract curious on lookers.

“Dutch, people are watching” Chad said in a hushed tone, Dutch rolled his eyes stuffing the vile in one of his suit pockets and landing a rough punch to Tommy’s gut. Tommy gasped, struggling for breath as he doubled over clutching his stomach, Dutch chuckled again placing a mock comforting hand on Tommy’s shoulder as he leaned down to speak to him with menacing black eyes.

“Fine Tommy, I won’t use this but only if you agree to help me get her out of there as quickly and quietly as possible. Otherwise Chaddy will be slipping this into her champagne glass, you see I’m going to get what I want from that little slut either way and I don’t really care how I get there. I guess the little lesson I taught her back in November when she tried wiggle out of my grasp the first time didn’t sink in. Now she and the rich giant she whored herself out for are going to pay the price for what they’ve both done. Look at all the stuff they’ve done to poor Chaddy here, look what they did to your new Corvette and do you really think your mom’s China just magically shattered all by itself, Tommy.” Dutch said disingenuously, he already knew Veda didn’t have a hand in any of those calculated attacks. She was smart but way too pure for any of that save for maybe some pointless China. Tommy glared at him, finally catching his breath he straightened up and took a threatening step towards him.

“I’m not helping you throw your life away, Dutch Howard. What do you think you’re gaining by doing this, huh. You just turned 18 three weeks ago, you have a vile of illegal GHB in your pocket, and you’re with a guy that’s not allowed to be within 100 yards of the girl you’re planning to use it on. A guy that’s already fucked up his life, Chad, you’re homeless right now, you don’t have a car, you don’t have a job, you don’t a have spot at Berkley. What you do have right now is two broken arms and restraining order that you’re in violation of right now. Is this really what you guys want to do? If it is then I won’t have any other choice but to stop you, I’ll get her fiancé and I’ll call the cops and tell them everything about you violating your probation and all the premeditating you’ve clearly done, Dutch, and you violating your restraining order Chad and being an accessory. I’ll forget everything if you guys get back in the car right now and let me take you home.” Tommy pleaded, Dutch clenched his jaw and for once appeared conflicted as he pondered over the ultimatum. Chad shifted uncomfortably looking down at his dress shoes with an abashed expression on his face.

“You don’t understand, Tommy. Veda abandoned me and I can’t allow her to think that’s okay, if she’s not going to be happy with me then she’s not going to be happy with anyone. So, you’re either with me or against me, Tommy, Chad, what’s it gonna be” Dutch said in an eerily calm voice, Tommy shook his head as he took a fighting stance ready to fight because Veda’s life depended on it. Chad glanced between them as he shakily made a move towards the still open passenger door.

“Dutch, you said we were just going to scare her, you didn’t say…I can’t go to prison” Chad stuttered looking a ghostly shade of white as he sat down on the passenger seat. Dutch let out a deeply disappointed sounding sigh before lunging at Tommy with enough force to tackle him onto the concrete. Tommy gasped, craning his head so it wouldn’t crack against the pavement, he didn’t have time to react, feeling slightly dazed as he felt two cool metal prongs embed themselves into the side of his neck.

“Dutch, stop” Chad yelled, cowering in the passenger seat with wide horrified green eyes. Dutch flashed him a sinister glare.

“You’re going to follow me inside and slip this in that pretty little bitch’s drink. Understand” he snarled, pulling the trigger on the stun gun more times than was legally necessary. Tommy soundlessly convulsed beneath Dutch feeling never ending torturous shocks radiate trough his body.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it man. Just stop doing that, you’ll kill him” Chad pleaded frantically, a satisfied devilish smirk crossed Dutch’s face as he pulled the trigger one final excruciating time. Dutch snatched the Cadillac keys out of his pocket before, rising slowly to his feet leering down at Tommy with black eyes as he lay convulsing involuntarily, still having no control over his muscles.

“I’m sorry, Tommy, if it’s any consolation this is probably the last time, you’ll ever have to see me because if I’m not happy with her then I won’t be happy with anyone either. You just rest now, hmm, you’ll be just fine.” Dutch said with an eerie note of sincerity as he beckoned a cowering Chad towards him.

Tommy gasped sharply watching Dutch leave his line of sight and Chad stopping momentarily, glancing down at him with concern swirling in his still frightened green eyes.

“Find tall man, go, go, be there soon” Tommy managed to gasp out hoarsely, Chad nodded with teary eyes before trailing after Dutch. Tommy laid on the ground for what felt like forever, starring up at the starry LA sky with a heavy heart as he thought of Veda innocently gulping a lethal glass of champagne. The thought was enough to motivate him to roll over on concrete, weakly rising to his knees and then his feet with a newfound determination. Dutch may be beyond saving at this point, but Veda wasn’t she deserved to be happy after all the things Dutch had done to her while they sat idly by. Tommy shakily made his way up to the Majestic Hollywood, ignoring the incredulous looks he was getting from snobby patrons for being underdressed as he trudged into the lobby and shoved past the brooding security guard sitting at the front desk to pick up the phone.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave” the guard said, roughly trying to pry the telephone out of his fingers.

“Can’t, sorry, I’m calling the police and you’re going to go do your job, okay. There’s a crazy looking kid with bleach blonde hair roaming around right now that you have to find, you hear me. He’s violent and if you don’t want any of these folks getting hurt you better move, now!” Tommy exclaimed as he finished dialing the three-digit number into the keypad with shaky fingers and wild blue eyes.

“911, what’s your emergency.”

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Veda’s Pov

The gala began with a lively cocktail hour and a very delicious dinner, Veda’s chat with the dean of admissions went perfectly, she told her all about the gifted program the university was planning to implement next fall. She also said that if Veda ended her freshman year at CalTech with academic excellence there was a possibility of Veda receiving a special grant so she could attend USC almost tuition free save for housing and school supplies. With this newfound information, Veda thought the odds of her starting her sophomore year at USC were very likely and she had her Romeo to thank for it. By the time dinner rolled around Terry had been unwittingly sucked into a very stale conversation with Walter Getty, a slightly self-centered business tycoon who was planning on opening two art museums in the next few years. Veda politely conversed with him about the future art museums he was planning to open but Walter only seemed interested in wooing her away from Terry. Veda thought it was funny Walter thought that was a possibility as if she and Terry weren’t basically on top of each other. Terry could tell Walter’s advances were making her uncomfortable and “suggested” she and Margaret go look at all the auction items for a while. So, Veda and Margaret happily sipped on tons champagne while they gossiped, made small talk with some other gala goers, and looked at auction items. All the champagne they were drinking seemed to go right through them and before they knew it, they were searching for a bathroom.

Veda went back to the table to tell Terry where they were going, Terry pouted at her with big blue puppy eyes because Walter Getty was still talking his ear off about something pointless.

“I’m sorry, my love, by the time I get back it should be time for dancing at least” Veda cooed, Terry chuckled softly and pointedly pulled her in for a very fiery kiss just to rub it in Walter’s face. It did serve to put a stop to Walter’s incessant babbling for a moment at least but the leer he was giving Veda made her skin crawl.

“Alright, baby girl but I’m going to hold you to that” Terry said teasingly, Veda giggled giving him another sweet kiss on the cheek before skipping off with Margaret. After a waiting in line for a while, Veda and Margaret decided to go look for a bathroom that didn’t have an insane line wrapped around the corner. They made their usual small talk as they wandered out of the ballroom to take the elevator up to the second-floor balcony. Veda took a little extra time gawking at some of the gorgeous architecture she hadn’t had a chance to peek at on the way in.

“So, that blonde girl, Julia, what’s her deal?” Veda asked nonchalantly, even though she was silently seething over the sheer audacity Julia had to brazenly flirt with Terry like she wasn’t even there as soon as they sat down at their table. Margaret chuckled softly, giving Veda a maternal pat on the shoulder and an affectionate light pinch on her cheek. Veda giggled rolling her eyes playfully, looping an arm with Margaret as they continued walking past a few stray party goers. She could faintly hear the music below them grow a bit louder indicating the auctions were taking their final bids and would soon be ending. Veda picked up their pace a bit because after the winners were announced the real dancing of the evening would commence and she wasn’t about to let Julia Vanderbilt snag her first gala dance out from under her nose.

“She has no deal, darling. She’s just a spoiled rich girl who can’t stand it when she doesn’t get her way. Julia’s been throwing herself at Mr. Silver for years, mostly all on Mr. Silver Sr.’s wishes to combine their family’s businesses and wealth. Obviously, our Mr. Silver couldn’t care less about his father’s dream, he still enlisted and begrudgingly agreed to take over Dynatox and that’s where the older Mr. Silver’s dream dies. Julia is so not his type anyway darling; you have nothing to worry about on that front, trust me” Maragret said with a reassuring smile on her face, Veda smiled back at her nodding in acknowledgment. Though she wished she didn’t have to care so much about making a good impression on these people for appearances sake. If she didn’t have to, she would have turned on the Jersey girl mystic before Julia even placed a perfectly manicured finger on Terry’s arm.

Veda and Margaret settled on the ladies’ room just off the main staircase, it was more secluded and virtually empty seen as how mostly everyone was trying to see if they won anything at the auction. Veda shuffled into a stall being mindful not to make a run in her sheer tights, they provided a nice barrier because the suede platform heels, she was wearing weren’t as comfortable as she had been hoping though they were notably easier to walk in. Veda knew Terry would probably be carrying her back to the Rolls Royce tonight anyway especially after their little moment in the car earlier.

“I’ll be just out here in the hall, darling” Maragaret called out by the bathroom door, having already finished freshening herself up for the evening. Veda nodded, giggling softly at herself for acting like Margaret could see her behind the door perhaps she should let up on the champagne for a while.

“Okay, Margaret” Veda chirped, hearing the click of Maragret’s heels become softer as she exited the bathroom. Veda finished up not to long after, but she took a little extra time in front of the bathroom mirror after washing her hands to smooth out her dress, adjusting the way the burgundy frill fell off her tanned shoulders. Veda hummed softly to herself as she pulled some lip gloss and some concealer out of her black and gold clutch, she quickly applied concealer over the little love bite Terry left on her shoulder in the car, she had forgotten all about it in her child like wonder fixation upon entering. Veda found the fact Julia and Walter were still blazingly trying to steal her and Terry from each other with this display on her shoulder incredibly odd. Veda applied her gloss over her plump lips in a thin even coat, and furrowed her brows as she vaguely heard a bit of a ruckus just outside the bathroom door. She gave herself one last look over, fixing one of her stray curls before tossing her things back into her bag and swinging the bathroom door open.

“Alright, Margaret, ready to see if you won that all-inclusive package to Hawaii, you know Terry will probably give you one if you’d just ask” Veda giggled, stepping out into the hallway to find it empty.

“Margaret” Veda called, wandering further down the secluded hallway to find it completely empty. Veda furrowed her brows again because it wasn’t like Margaret to just say she was going to be somewhere and not be there, Veda considered that Margaret may have meant the larger hallway by the balcony overlooking the gala. They did down a lot of champagne during their little gossip session near the auction and raffle table when Terry got tied up with Walter Getty. Veda ventured past the elevators and into the larger hallway near the balcony, letting her eyes sweep through the empty hall before craning her head to look over the banister. She sighed; she couldn’t really see anything going on down on the gala floor from where she was, but she could hear the faint buzz of excited chatter, lively jazz piano music, and the small ding of one of the elevators behind her.

“Maybe she went back to Terry” Veda mumbled under her breath to herself, she could find her way back to the ballroom easily, but she was still worried about where Margaret disappeared to. Veda continued looking over the banister, beginning her short journey back towards the ballroom in short strides still trying to catch a glimpse of Margaret’s blue and silver adorned dress skirt. Veda walked slowly down the empty hallway; she was looking up at some of the intricate paintings on the ceiling when a muffled cry caught her attention. Veda stopped for a moment listening to the sound intently from where she stood, she could pinpoint that it was coming from the hall leading to the bathroom and she felt her chest twinge with both concern and curiosity.

“Margaret, is that you?” Veda called out, turning on her heel she rushed back towards the elevators to find the hall still as empty as it was when she left it. Veda felt some of her curiosity shift into a realm of confusion and fear, she felt the hairs stand up on the back of her neck as she cautiously backed up towards the elevators with wide, doe like brown eyes. She felt her adrenaline pick up as goosebumps started to rise all over her tan skin, her ears drowned out the party chatter and live music long enough for her to hear one of the elevator doors ding and slide open next to her. Veda stopped in her tracks when she caught a glimpse of Margaret’s blue and silvery tulle skirt in the elevator out of the corner of her eye. Veda let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as she turned to face the elevator fully, taking in Margaret’s sprawled out form face down on the elevator floor. Veda gasped rushing to kneel beside her still, unmoving form frantically.

“Oh, Margaret!” Veda cried running her hand up her back, she too afraid to shift her if she was hurt badly. Margaret gave her a muffled reply turning her head to face Veda groggily, there was a gag on her mouth and a crimson stream gliding down her forehead. Veda gasped again, feeling unbearably sickened at the state Margaret was currently in as she gingerly untied the gag around her mouth before inspecting the gash hidden in her light blonde hairline.

“Maragret what happened, who did this to you” Veda asked softly, as she brushed some of her light hair off her forehead gently, she was relieved to see Margaret perk up slightly, but her blue eyes were filled with panic and concern as she gazed up into her brown ones. Margaret gripped Veda’s left hand firmly.

“You need to go to Mr. Silver, Veda, now” Margaret said firmly, but Veda caught the twinge of fear in her steely tone. Veda shook her head using her right hand to wipe off a bit of the blood trailing down her pale cheek with the gag she just removed from her mouth.

“No, I can’t leave you in here like this Margaret, let’s get you down to the lobby first come on” Veda said, ignoring the way the elevator doors persistently kept attempting to shut around her outstretched legs. Margaret shook her head frantically tightening the iron grip she had on Veda’s left hand with serious blue eyes.

“No, Veda, you have to go now! Dutch is here looking for you, I told him you went down to see the new Reserve bar downstairs before you headed back to the party. It’s not going to take him long to figure out I lied, so go, I’ll be fine darling. I’ve been through a lot worse believe me, now go!” Margaret pleaded, gently trying to shove her out of the elevator. Veda inhaled sharply feeling her blood run cold as she sat trying to process all the newfound information. The punishment for daring to be happy without Dutch Howard was finally catching up to her, she had hoped having Terry in the driver’s seat would at least give her a head start but it would appear Dutch had outwitted both of them. He showed up on the one-night Terry was too engrossed with keeping up social appearances to keep her glued to his side every second, she and Margaret had left him there almost twenty minutes ago now, Veda knew Terry was definitely getting anxious by now but since she’d left with Margaret, he’d be less compelled to come looking for her immediately. Veda didn’t have time to wonder how Dutch had even gotten into the gala or how he knew Margaret worked for Terry, let alone how he even knew any of them would even be here tonight.

Veda nodded letting out a shaky breath as she reached up to hit the button for the lobby, she was sure Dutch wouldn’t try to hurt Margaret further if she was in a room full of people. He liked to keep his more brutal assaults quiet and tonight he had no dojo or tournament rules to abide by. Veda let out another shaky breath as she stared back at Margaret with lifeless brown eyes.

“Okay, Margaret, I’ll see you later, be safe” Veda said shakily crawling out of the elevator not having the strength to rise to her feet at the moment. She forced herself to flash Margaret a reassuring smile though she was really doubting there was a possibility that she’d ever actually be seeing her, Terry, her mom, Daniel, Larry, Rob and Zoe, or Milos ever again. At least the other’s last memories of her would be happy, the last time she saw her brother she slammed the door in his face and told him she was disappointed in him. Veda sat on the ground unmoving as she watched Margaret struggling to sit up just as the elevator doors glided shut, seemingly in slow motion.

Veda struggled to her feet, listening once again to the lively music and happy chatter floating up through the marble floors and filling the stock-still empty hallways in a way that made her feel like they were sending her off. Veda was having trouble seeing past her present dire circumstances to consider all her other options. She could run to the staircase or toTerry screaming at the top of her lungs, part of her knew Dutch would still find her there but if she was going to die tonight, she would at least want to see Terry one last time. Veda forced herself to move her feet as quickly as she could in the devilish black heels currently trying to stymie her journey back to the ballroom. Their frantic clicks echoed through the empty hall, melding with the distant sounds of happy commotion and soft music in an eerily perfect harmony. The anxious clicks seemed to swell with the jazzy piano solo lulling up the staircase in an unpropitious crescendo. That was soon followed by a gloomy, dragging, direful diminuendo.

Veda’s plan to scream bloody murder were impeded by the cruel clammy hand that flew over her mouth and pinched her nose shut. She let out a muffled whimper thrashing in the cruel arm snaked firmly around her waist in a leachy vice. The only sounds filling her ears now were the screeching sound her heels made against the hard tiled floors and Dutch’s labored breathing.

“I’m assuming you never made it to the Reserve bar downstairs did ya, doll face. Don’t worry, you can have a drink in the car” Dutch snarled, planting a nasty kiss on her cheek that made her stomach churn as she struggled to breathe. Dutch tightened the hold around her waist as he violently yanked her into the elevator.

“I can tell by all your thrashing Chaddy didn’t hold up his end of the deal, but that’s alright I’ve got more in my pocket for you right here, honey and I’ll be dealing with Chaddy later.  When these doors open, you’re going act normal and not draw any attention to us if you do, you’re dead before we get out of the lobby, understand?” Dutch said, painfully yanking on her chin to make her look at him, Dutch removed the arm he had wrapped around her waist to dig in one of his suit pockets. Veda whimpered as the iridescent abalone hilt of Dutch’s nefarious nine-inch Italian stiletto switchblade came into view.

“You remember Lilith don’t you, doll face. I picked her because she reminded me of you, you know, beautiful, sexy, and impish. I named her after Adam’s first wife, you know the one who was banished from Eden for disobeying the rules Adam laid out for her. That’s also why I used her during our first little lesson back in November, honey. I wanted you to learn what would happen if you disobeyed me, but I guess the lesson didn’t take, huh. I’m willing to not use her tonight if you can show me that my teaching didn’t fall on deaf ears after all. Can you do that doll face?” Dutch taunted with a wicked smirk and wild brown eyes, Veda nodded franticly, feeling lightheaded from the lack of oxygen as a few hot tears rolled down her cheek. Dutch flashed her a nauseating smile finally removing his rough hand from her mouth and nose so she could breathe.

“Good, now push the button and we can save these for later” Dutch taunted, vilely licking the stray tears sliding down the length of her flushed cheek as he clasped a rotten hand around her throat firmly. Veda shuddered pushing the button to the lobby with one trembling finger, she tried to ignore the way Dutch trailed his other hand up to roughly fondle her breasts. She found herself wishing he’d just kill her if tonight meant she’d be losing her virginity to anyone other than Terry.

“They’re so big now, doll face, I should’ve been the first and only one to ever touch or look at these, Veda. Now you have to pay for being a little fucking slut” he hissed, the elevator doors slid open to reveal the lively lobby and Dutch took the opportunity to shove her as hard as he could without letting her actually hit the ground. He gripped her upper arm wrenching her through the lobby like a cop hauls away a monstrous criminal, ripping her away from Terry like a tornado rips up trees. She couldn’t help the tears that welled in eyes at the prospect of never being in Terry’s gentle arms again, of never seeing him again, of never loving him again if she couldn’t do any of that again she might as well be in a prison because being without him felt like that already. Veda’s terrified eyes were silently pleading to everyone, they passed to save her. Nobody really paid them any mind; they didn’t stick out amongst all the other patrons dressed up in suits and cocktail dresses. Veda caught sight of Larry shouting at one of the security guards while Margaret was being tended to by a paramedic. For a second Veda felt a small glimmer of hope, if she could find a way to catch their attention, she might live to see her Romeo again.

 Without giving it much thought Veda unclipped the clasp on the clutch she managed to hang on to in their scuffle upstairs and let the contents topple out onto the floor she made it a point to slip on the tube of concealer. Dutch flashed her a sinister look as she slid out of his hold and onto the floor with a painful thud, Veda winced as her head collided with the hard marble floor but the sea of concerned patrons rushing to her aid was worth it, getting to be in Terry’s arms again was worth everything. Not even the sinister look Dutch was giving her right now could convince her otherwise.

 Veda whimpered attempting to crawl away from him and into the sea of people stomping their way. Dutch let out a deep animalistic growl looking between her and the stampede with wild dark brown eyes. Veda felt her heart plummet into the pits of her still nauseated stomach when Dutch lunged at her with a speed, she didn’t think was possible. She didn’t have time to move out of the path of his ferocious hands before they tangled in her perfect black curls and ruthlessly yanked and dragged her across the white tiled floor. Veda didn’t hesitate to let out a blood curdling scream that echoed through the lobby, she was sure they could hear her all the way upstairs in the ballroom by now. Veda reached up to dig her nails into his vicious hands, scratching at them like a disgruntled kitten aggressively. Dutch only tightened his hold as he dragged her thrashing body towards the front entrance, dodging all the patrons making rescue attempts.

“You little bitch!” Dutch growled kicking all the items from her purse across the lobby with the same amount of force you’d use to kick down a door. Veda didn’t cease her Banshi like howling even when Dutch yanked her to her feet, and she felt him press Lilith’s cold baleful blade into the side of her neck. A buzz of hundreds of concerned, frantic protests flooded through the lobby as Dutch let them see what he had pressed against a very vulnerable part of her body. Veda only halted her screeching because she needed a moment to catch her breath, she could make out some of the voices calling out towards them now.

“That’s him right there!” Margaret cried, pointing to where Dutch was still standing frozen in the doorway. The security guard was advancing on them, speaking into his walkie talkie with his gun drawn.

“Sir, the police are already on their way, don’t make this worse for yourself by doing something stupid. Let the young lady go, now” the guard said, trying to get a clear shot at Dutch who simply positioned Veda further in front of him like a shield. Veda fought back tears as the small glimmer of hope in her heart started to extinguish.

“Oh, you’ve really done it this time, doll face. In case you haven’t noticed there’s no version of this where you will be getting away from me alive. If you’re not happy with me, you won’t be happy be with anyone and there’s nothing your rich pretty boy fiancé can do about it” Dutch whispered menacingly in her ear, Veda shuddered swallowing thickly as she felt Dutch backing them outside, she could see Larry cautiously approaching them out of the corner of her eye. The intense glare he was giving Dutch caught her by surprise because she had never seen Larry look anything less than warm and fatherly before. Now he looked so brooding, so incredibly formidable as he stalked towards Dutch like a lion stalks prey, he let his grey, fatherly eyes soften for a moment as they settled on her trembling form. Veda relaxed a bit under his protective gaze, for a moment she thought she might live to see another day.

“It’s okay little one, Mr. Silver will be here any second now” Larry said with a warm reassuring smile, Veda stared back at him with big teary brown eyes reaching out to him with trembling arms like a child reaches out to a parent when they want to be held. Larry reached an arm out to her but let it fall limp at his side when Veda let out a pained yelp as she felt Dutch yank her roughly by the hair again. The action stood in stark contrast to the gentle soothing passes Terry’s tender fingers always made through her thick hair. Veda inhaled sharply as she felt Lilith’s blade dig into her pregnable neck leaving a small crimson stream in her wake.

Larry’s grey eyes hardened settling on Dutch in the form of a menacing steely eyed glare that had Veda questioning everything, she thought she knew about him. She knew he sometimes helped Terry with violent matters, she naturally assumed he was merely the getaway driver and didn’t actually partake in any of the fighting. Veda caught a glimpse of a tattoo on Larry’s flexed forearm when he finished rolling up his sleeves like some big bad mob boss, she couldn’t help but stare at him in awe as he closed in on them. Unlike Dutch his steely grey eyes weren’t wild and ferocious instead they were controlled, wise, and calculated as they glowered at Dutch in the bright lobby lighting.

“If you don’t get that knife away from that little girl’s neck right now son, so help me I will pop you one and you won’t live to tell the tale about it” Larry said coolly, taking another intimidating step towards them. Veda felt Dutch tense a bit behind her, the last time she had seen him tense up in such a way was when Mr. Miyagi sought him out after picking her up from the hospital. It was the first time she ever saw Dutch look genuinely afraid and she found herself fighting the urge to crane her neck to relish in seeing it a second time.

“Take a shot at me, mustache, I dare you. I’ll slit her pretty little neck before you even take one more elderly step this way” Dutch said in a way that made Veda realize he was trying to sound more confident than he actually was. Larry’s threat was enough to make Dutch remove Lilith’s minatory blade from her neck, but he settled for clamping one of his rough clammy hands around her throat again firmly. Veda whimpered as Dutch planted another sickening kiss on Lilith’s fresh nick before slowly back walking her out of the building. Larry took several steps forward but stopped when Dutch tightened his hand around her neck hard enough to have Veda struggling to breath as she feebly tried to pry his wicked hand off her. If she got out of the way at least the security guard could get a clear shot at him, Dutch snarled in her ear gradually tightening his grasp around her throat as she flayed in his hold.

“Stop moving now or the old man gets it and we both know he’s no Mr. Miyagi don’t we doll face. You’re really forcing my hand here, my promise to not let Lilith have her way with you will now only be off the table if you lay down and take this cock the way you were made to. I may not have been the first to enter you, honey, but I’ll definitely be the last. Say your goodbyes to mustache here” Dutch taunted, only letting up on his hold on her throat when her face started to turn purple. Veda wheezed trying to get some air back in her burning lungs, she could vaguely feel Dutch roughly groping one of her breasts with his free hand as he dragged her away from the building.

“One step old man that’s all it’ll take. Tell your boss to come say his final goodbyes, huh.” Dutch cackled.

Veda felt the blood drain from her face as she gazed back at Larry with wide fearful eyes, any reaming fight she had left in her seemed to evaporate into thin air and she felt herself detach from her body for a moment. Everything there after felt like being stuck in one of her nightmares, unable to run or utter a single sound while Dutch is dragging her somewhere to rape and kill her for daring to not want him. None of the steps Dutch took down the long winding sidewalk felt real. Veda felt like she was looking down at herself from above as Dutch forced her into the Cadillac and took a moment to run his leachy hands all over her body. She knew he was being rough as he tried to feel her heat through her sheer tights, but Veda couldn’t quite feel what he was doing to her at the moment.

“Some one still doesn’t know how to obey I see” Dutch snarled, back handing her across her recently healed left cheek with enough force to make her head crash against the glove box. Veda snapped out of her episode with a wail, clutching her cheek in both pain and despair as Dutch slammed the Cadillac door shut and rounded to the driver’s side to start up the car. Veda watched a now blurry, group of people flood out of the Majestic Hollywood’s doors with multiple cries of her name the loudest cry emitting from a very frantic Terry Silver flying towards the car.  Veda sobbed staring at Terry longingly through the window as Dutch purposely revved the engine and let Terry approach the car with a sinister smirk plastered across his face.

“Take a good look, honey because this is the last time, you’ll ever see that rich pretty boy face of his. I can’t believe you let that giant inside that tight little pussy of yours, how loose are you now, huh” Dutch sneered, eyeing Terry’s strong build jealously as he pounded on the car window. Veda ignored him staring up at Terry with hopeful brown eyes, she could tell Terry heard what Dutch had said based on the intensity of his bangs on the window.

“Terry, help me” Veda sobbed, desperately trying to unlock her car door but had no success and settled for pounding her small fists against the glass that was keeping her from launching herself into Terry’s comforting arms. Veda ignored all of Dutch’s amused cackles from behind her as she pushed her face up against the glass sobbing uncontrollably. Terry’s eyes softened as the sound of police sirens added to the building tension.

“Hold on, baby girl. I don’t want to hurt you with the glass” Terry said, running his finger down the passenger window the same way he usually ran it down her cheek maintaining her gaze as Larry wordlessly smashed in the driver’s side window.

“I warned you son” Larry barked, smashing Dutch’s head against the steering wheel with a shocking amount of force. Dutch snarled throwing the car into drive and stepping on the accelerator, Veda yelped falling back into Dutch’s glass covered lap with a thud. Veda wailed as she heard Terry’s panicked screams and cries dying down with the sirens in the distance. Veda continued to sob with repeated panicked cries of Terry’s name pouring out of her mouth like rain falls from the sky during a summer thunderstorm.

“You really thought your fiancé was going to be your knight in shining armor didn’t you, why don’t you put that pretty little mouth to work while you’re down there, huh. Seen as how fucking you is going to feel like walking into a cave now” Dutch snarled, fisting her hair, and shoving her face into his glass riddled lap, she hissed in between sobs as she felt a shard of glass slice through her forehead. Dutch cackled darkly finally shoving her back into the passenger’s seat with a wicked smile on his face.

“Still not following directions I see. That’s alright, doll face, that’ll change real soon” Dutch said darkly, Veda glowered at him with a tear-stained face and a thick river of crimson streaming down her freshly re-bruised cheek. She bore into him with calculating eyes as he turned down too many streets and alleys for her to keep track of where they were or where they were going. Dutch met her gaze, chuckling darkly at the challenging eyebrow, she raised at him in the soft glow of the rapidly passing streetlamps.  Veda, but she didn’t let up on her harsh gaze because she could tell Dutch was getting uncomfortable, she watched him shift in his seat and focus his black eyes back on the road.

“Shit” Dutch hissed, shaking the glass from broken window off the arm of his nice little Gorgio Armani suit blazer, Veda couldn’t help the scowl that crossed her face at him having the audacity to wear a suit Terry could only wear, she wished she could rip it off his body. Veda really wished she could chew him out, but she knew that wouldn’t be a good idea with the present circumstances. She could still see Lilith’s iridescent handle peeking out of his right pocket, Veda wondered if she could swipe it without him noticing but to do that she’d have to get close to him and the thought of getting any closer to him than she was right now was absolutely revolting.

“Staring at me with those big brown puppy eyes won’t change what’s happening tonight, doll face. I’m taking what I’m owed even if your pussy is all used up now you’ve got another little hole I can use. Now drink this” Dutch taunted, holding up an already opened bottle of orange soda with a sinister smirk still plastered on his face. Veda gulped as he shoved the promised laced bottle of soda towards her with a wicked smirk plastered across his vile face, drinking this would definitely screw up any prospect of an escape plan. Veda shook her head scooting as far away from him and the debilitating concoction as she could. Dutch leered at her with dark eyes and the same wicked smirk spread across his face.

“You’re either going to drink some of it willingly or I’ll force the whole thing down your throat take your pick, honey. But the second option definitely ends with your pretty little body dead in a ditch” he said flatly, Veda held back tears as she reluctantly took the bottle from him with trembling hands, she brought it up to her lips but couldn’t bring herself to drink it. If she drank it Dutch could quite easily keep her drugged up and submissive to him for the rest of her life. That seemed to be what he was really aiming for he’d rather sentence her to a life of eternal suffering without Terry, than give her the mercy of being free from him whether it be dead or alive. If he by chance did let her get away the odds of remembering what he did to her tonight would be slim but he’d of still had his way with her by then and Veda couldn’t decide which one was worse.

“Should we see what Lilith thinks you should do” he barked, Veda whimpered taking a large gulp of the slightly salty soda with fresh tears streaming down her face. Dutch reached over to pet her hair with depraved hands in some mock attempt to soothe her as he urged her to take another gulp of the noxious drink before taking it calmly out of her trembling grasp. Veda glowered at him in the dim glow of the passing streetlamps. Lilith appeared to be her only hope of escape right now, it would be oddly poetic if she subdued him with the blade he bought in her honor.

“There you go, doll face, that wasn’t so bad was it. You’ll feel nice and relaxed in no time but there’s no reason I can’t have a little fun while we’re waiting, huh. I’ve got to see how much damage you’ve done to my little toy here before I can pick a fitting punishment” Dutch sneered, pawing at Veda’s sheer tights as he turned the car down a secluded park trail. Veda felt her stomach churn as Dutch put the car in park and killed the engine, his wild eyes glinted in the eerie glow of the lone streetlamp in front of the car, they observed the vacant park with a sickening hint of sinister glee. Veda could make out Dutch’s maroon Chevy Monte Carlo a little further down the trial, he had clearly been meticulously planning this out for quite a while. At least the car change presented Veda with a better opportunity to make a break for it if she did manage to slip Lilith from his wicked clutches, but she didn’t know how she was going to stomach what Dutch had planned to do to her until then. Once whatever poison he gave her finally kicked in, she was sure making her way by foot through the streets of Downtown Los Angeles was going to be difficult but any prospect of getting back to her sweet Terry was worth the hardship. Dutch’s wild eyes settled back on her in the form of a pervy, lecherous gaze that made her skin crawl. Dutch smirked, slowly pulling Lilith’s shimmery hilt out of his pocket and pushed her sliver button gently. Veda whimpered watching her long gleaming silver blade spring out with a soft click, spearing any hope Veda had of swiping her as she twirled in Dutch’s dark hands.

“Alright, honey, it’s time to assess the damage done to my property. Now, you can either lay on the back seat willingly or Lilith and I will give you a little push, what’s it gonna be, doll face.” Dutch purred fisting her black hair in one of his rough hands so he could bury his rotten nose in it, inhaling the scent like a depraved animal.

 “I’m still a virgin” Veda whimpered, hoping the confession would deter some of Dutch’s unadulterated wishes to ravish and destroy her for a moment but she instantly regretted it as Dutch’s lewd eyes roamed over her body with a newfound sickening desire to deflower her. Dutch loosened his hold on her black locks and run his hand down her bloody bruised cheek and shoulder petting her with a lascivious glint in his almost black eyes.

“Are you lying to me, doll face” Dutch purred in her ear, running a rough hand over her breasts with wild lecherous eyes that gleamed at her in the glow of the streetlamp the same way an animals eyes glint in the darkness. Veda shook her head still feeling incredibly nauseated as she forced herself to stare at him with innocent brown eyes.

“No” she said meekly, wishing she could pry his filthy hands off of her, but he was still clutching Lilith’s iridescent hilt in his left hand, and she already knew he wouldn’t hesitate to slice her with her sinister blade because he had done it before.

“I want to believe you, doll face, you know I don’t like hurting you. Let’s get you back there so I can inspect you and judge for myself, hmm” Dutch coaxed eerily, shrugging his blazer off his shoulders he laid it on the backseat, still playacting the role of the gentleman. Veda shuddered as he placed an imitation of a sweet kiss on her bruised cheek before clambering to the backseat. Dutch leered at her with dark eyes, beckoning her with Lilith’s glinting blade wordlessly gripping her soft flesh with rough hand. Veda had to hold back a sob as the harsh reality of the situation finally solidified in her mind it wouldn’t be long until the drugs finally sunk their teeth in her and she knew he wouldn’t be transferring her to his car unless she let him do this to her. So, Veda threw a shaky leg over the arm rest once again feeling herself detach from her body as Dutch forced her sit on the seat neck to him and planted another filthy sham of a tender kiss on her cheek with hungry brown eyes.

Veda sat unmoving as Dutch roughly captured her in a kiss when his odious chapped lips touched hers, she swore she felt a part of her die. Veda kept her eyes wide open and didn’t move her head as he assaulted her mouth because if she didn’t move it didn’t feel like kissing him back. Silent tears poured from her eyes as she thought of Terry and all the soft tender kisses, he gave her. He would never kiss her this aggressively, he would never touch her like this, he would never treat her like this. Dutch broke the vile kiss with a devilish smile on his face, he trailed a sham of a tender finger down her bloody and bruised cheek like he hadn’t been the one who put them there.

“Alright, time for me to see if lied to me, doll face. Ready?” Dutch purred, forcing her to lay on top of his blazer he eagerly slid a rough hand up the length of her legs and under her dress with Lilith’s blade still glinting at her menacingly. Veda let a sob escape her trembling lips, squirming uncomfortably her stomach churned as his predatory hand savagely shoved her cocktail dress up to her waist.

“No, please stop” Veda cried, her fight response seemed to finally kick in as she clawed the hand roaming over her stomach, aggressively. Dutch chortled darkly, watching her claw and kick at him with amused dark eyes before swopping in to hit her savagely across the face again. Veda hissed feeling blood start to flow from her right nostril and trail down the length of her cheek, she brought her knees up to her chest in an attempt to shield herself from his devious fingers. Dutch leered at her coiled form with dark sinister eyes as he tangled a rough hand in her black hair once more.

“This is a losing battle, honey. Straighten out now” Dutch hissed, forcefully prying her legs open with a sinister smile on his face. Veda sobbed still flailing her legs around in a desperate attempt to hinder his mission to deflower her in the backseat of Tommy’s dad’s Cadillac.

“Hold still now, or she’ll leave another stream on your pretty little thigh” Dutch taunted, pressing the glinting blade into the thin fabric of her sheer tights slashing through them in one sweep before giving her lacy panties the same vicious treatment. The only sounds filling the car were Veda’s desperate sobs, whimpers and protests as Dutch leered at the folds she had only reserved for Terry’s loving eyes.  Dutch looked up at her with a wolfish grin, pressing the blade into the delicate flesh of her toned stomach as a sinister reminder not to fight. He ignored her sobs and squirms, ravishing and violating her heat with rough tugs, pulls, stretches, and repeated painful dips into her taut dry nonconsenting entrance. Veda whimpered, struggling against him with hot tears rolling down her cheeks and soft cries of pain escaping her lips, her obvious discontentment with his rough molestation only seemed to spur him on.

“You didn’t lie to me, doll face and for that I’m going to give you a little reward before we really get started” Dutch said, roughly using a finger to toy with her puckered anus before trailing his filthy tongue from her clit to her still taut entrance. Veda trembled, still sobbing uncontrollably as Dutch let out a depraved moan and he forced three aggressive fingers inside of her nonconsenting entrance. Veda let out an agonized wail as he painfully pumped his burning fingers inside of her, it never hurt like this when Terry touched her. Veda feebly tried lurching away from him, but Dutch dug the blade into the flesh of her stomach in warning.

“Please, stop, you’re hurting me” Veda pleaded between dry heaves as she desperately tried to clamp her thighs together. Dutch rolled his dark eyes at her in his true crude form.

“Relax, doll face, just relax. You’re fine” he said indifferently, placing his filthy tongue back on her clit once more. Veda sobbed softly as he repeatedly pumped his harsh fingers inside of her, painfully stretching her out in a way Terry would never. Veda wasn’t sure what came over her, but she found the strength to tangle her fingers in Dutch’s grotesque bleach blonde hair and grip Lilith’s conniving blade in her other hand. She didn’t care that she could have severed a finger as she tore the wicked blade from his retched hand and ripped a golf ball sized chunk of hair from his vile head. The same way he came raging into her perfect little world like a tornado to rip her apart, to rip her away from Terry, to uproot her life. Dutch snarled, lurching away from her and toppling onto the carpeted car floor with a soft thud as he silently seethed at her.

“Stay back” Veda cried, her body still trembling as she held the long blade in front of her ready to strike if she had to. Dutch let out an annoyed sigh as he bore into her with blackened brown eyes clutching his head with a slightly pained expression.

“Let me out, now” Veda said firmly, Dutch chuckled darkly surveying her with deeply amused eyes in the soft glow of the streetlamp. He looked deeply satisfied to see her crimson stream stain the hilt of the blade he brought here just for her.

“Not until you give me what I want, doll face. I see you want to do this the hard way, so, let’s do it the hard way” Dutch taunted, pouncing on her like a deranged hyena he tried to wrestle the blade out her hand as he fisted her dark hair. Veda screeched, fighting back against him with everything she had, flailing around on the backseat, slashing at him with the blade, and kicking at him like her depended on it.

“Give me that” he growled, twisting her arm behind her back he pried the iridescent hilt from her bloody fingers with a sicken smile. Veda hissed in pain with her bruised cheek pressed up against the leather seat, Dutch gave her arm another painful twist just for fun.

 “Look at what you did to your pretty little fingers now, honey” he taunted darkly, Dutch chuckled as he yanked her up by the hair boring into her with sinister eyes as he ran his tongue across the fresh cuts with a depraved moan. Veda felt her stomach churn disgust, trying to free herself from his vice as she felt his hard cock prod the small of her back. Dutch cocked his head at her with an amused glint in his eyes.

“Is that it now, doll. That GHB should be kicking in any second now and I still need to use one of these little holes of yours. After this ridiculous outburst of yours, you, and I both know which one it’s going to be now don’t we” he snarled, shoving her head back down against the car seat roughly. Veda felt the color drain from her face as Dutch roughly spread her legs apart and toyed with her taut anus once more, he dug a boney elbow into her back to keep her from lurching forward. Veda felt a long string of his disgusting spit drip onto her hole, but she couldn’t bring herself to do anything but cry hysterically, completely petrified as his tip pushed against her puckered hole.

“Shit” Dutch hissed, suddenly lifting his weight off of her as he clambered back up to the front seat. Veda let out a relieved sigh, but sobs still racked thorough her shaky body as she sat back up to see what had made him stop his assault so suddenly. Not that she wasn’t grateful to or for whatever it was that helped her hold onto her purity for a little longer. Veda could see the glow of red and blue flashing lights flood through the windows of the Cadillac and she felt her heart leap with a newfound hope. As she watched Dutch frantically gather everything from the front seat and dump the orange carbonated poison out the broken window like that was really going to make a difference if the cops found her beaten in his backseat. Veda repressed a scoff as she pulled her cocktail dress over her mangled tights and sore heat gingerly before looking for her devilish, yet very expensive black heels on the carpeted car floor. She found them awkwardly shoved under the passengers along with a sleek jet-black stun gun, Veda silently thanked a bazillion people before picking the gun up gingerly and shoving it in one of her heels discreetly.

“Don’t get too excited there, honey. We’re just moving to the other car” Dutch said cooly, but Veda could see a wild hint of panic in his crazed eyes before he unlocked the door.

“Do I need to repeat my directions from the elevator, or do you think you can actually manage this time” Dutch taunted, glaring down at her from the driver’s seat with seething eyes as if this whole situation was all her fault somehow. Veda resisted the urge to snap at him just yet as she innocently nodded her head and batted her eyelashes at him, she could playact the role of the innocent maiden better than he could playact the role of a gentleman. Dutch gazed at her suspiciously for a moment.

“If you try to run, you’re dead, understand. You come out this door and you wait for me to get out first” he said roughly, pointing to the back passenger’s door on the driver’s side with wild eyes. Veda nodded again gripping the handle, she at least tried not to look too eager as she saw all the patrols going up and down the main street slowly. Dutch threw his door open and quickly scrambled out onto the park trail, his wild eyes were still glued on the patrol.

“Come on, hurry up” Dutch hissed impatiently, looking around the park anxiously. Veda pointedly took her sweet time opening up the door and she had to repress a smirk as she finally stepped out onto the slightly wet pavement because seeing him be the one suffering for once was deeply gratifying. Veda closed the car door gently, feeling the water on the ground seep through the soles of her tattered tights as she stood observing their surroundings for a moment. She was relieved to see they were somewhere in Downtown LA; she settled her eyes on Dutch’s still unmoving form as one of the patrol cars came to a halt across the street.

“Let’s go, now” Dutch said, giving her a harsh shove towards his Chevy Monte Carlo with a crazed look in his eyes as the patrol car turned on its harsh spotlight. Veda gripped the stun gun in her bloody hand but let Dutch pull her along for a bit, patiently waiting for the right time to strike. Veda slowed her steps a bit as they neared the Chevy, trying to pinpoint what the best exit route would be she doubted Dutch would follow her towards the patrols, but she knew he'd do whatever it took to keep her from getting there. Dutch unlocked the car door, frantically throwing the stuff in his hand on the backseat. Veda decided she really had nothing else to lose, she took advantage of his mild distraction and hurriedly veered off towards the park still gripping the gun and her heels in her small hands firmly as she neared the concrete steps. Veda jumped, feeling her adrenaline surge through her veins in anticipation when Dutch slammed the car door shut behind her with an ominous thud.

“Hey!” Dutch barked; she could hear him flying after her with a shocking amount of speed, his heavy footsteps reverberated off the cool concrete in eerie thumps like a baleful melody. Veda bounded down the first flight of concrete stairs as fast as her aching legs would carry, she was hoping to at least make it to the clearing so at least one of the patrol cars would see them if she wasn’t able to successfully subdue him. Veda’s frantic pitter-patters on the cool concrete were suspended when she felt Dutch seize her upper arm with a vicious hand, impelling her back into his barbarous clutches with a deranged snarl.

“You little bitch, what the hell did I just say” Dutch seethed clasping her throat with deranged wild eyes until she was gasping for air. Veda could tell by the determined look in his dark eyes he had every intention to strangle her and leave her for dead right under the cop’s noses and she wasn’t about to let it happen. Veda threw her expensive heels to the ground and aggressively imbedded the stun guns cobra like prongs into the flesh of Dutch’s strangling arm, pushing the button more times than necessary. Dutch let out a pained growl, recoiling his murderous hand from her neck immediately, stumbling back on to the cool pavement with a thud. Veda wished she could take a minute to relish in his just karma but knew Dutch wouldn’t take long to recover from the blow so, she bolted towards the second flight of steps in determination. She wasn’t going to die tonight and certainly not at Dutch’s hand, she was going to get out of here, she was going to get back to Terry because she had to.

“Where do you think you’re going, huh. I told you, if you’re not going to be happy with me, you’re not going to be happy with anyone.” Dutch snarled after his quick recovery, he flew towards Veda like a rabid animal, resolving to give her a violent shove down the second flight of concrete stairs. Veda yelped in both surprise and fear, she instinctively stuck out her left arm to brace herself as she went flying and landed on the cool harsh pavement with a loud thud, a sickening crack, and a loud pop. Veda let out her second Banshee shriek of the night coiling into herself on the damp ground as an excruciating, searing pain radiated through her entire arm.

“Aw, honey did you hurt yourself again?” Dutch taunted, strutting down the flight of stairs nonchalantly so he could watch her thrashing on the ground in agony up close. Veda clutched her mangled left arm with fresh tears streaming down her battered face for the hundredth time tonight. She glared up at Dutch still shrieking like a wounded animal, Dutch leered down at her with a sinister smile reaching out to pet her hair with a mock look of pity in his dark eyes. Veda lurched away from him angrily, momentarily letting go of her mangled arm to snatch up the sleek stun gun that slid out of her grasp during her violent fall. She pounced on him viciously, Dutch laid under her dumbfounded as she hammered the guns cobra-like prongs into as many parts of his vile flesh as she could.

“You and Lilith might want to turn yourselves in before my fiancé finds you” Veda said breathlessly, she watched Dutch thrash around on the cool pavement for a moment with emotionless brown eyes. Veda thought she’d at least feel happy watching him suffer like this but now she just found herself longing to be with Terry. Veda shakily crawled off a still angry thrashing Dutch, cradling her throbbing mangled arm in her bloody hand she hobbled down the remaining concrete steps, phlegmatic and dazed. Veda could tell the GHB laced orange soda he gave her was finally starting to sink its poisonous teeth into her and she didn’t want to be anywhere near Dutch when it finally got her. Veda ignored all of Dutch’s raging profanities and insults, staggering through the lush green clearing too focused on getting back to Terry to acknowledge the police sirens and the arrest being made behind her.

“Dutch Howard, put your hands where I can see them, where’s Veda LaRusso, what did you do to her.”

Veda clutched her arm wandering into the LA night in a haze of confusion, paranoia, and hopeless longing.  In a maze of dancing buildings, dodging concerned good Samaritans and lecherous pervs she called out Terry’s name at everything she passed. Hoping he would magically appear before her and rescue her, she didn’t know where she was, but she knew she wanted him right now, she knew needed him right now. Veda cried out his name repeatedly as she threw a rock at a window and hobbled through its jagged frame, hoping who she was looking for was on the other side.

[grilledkatniss]

Okay so I'm just now catching up on whatever this "why is she shading Joe if she's happy in her new relationship omg" and the comparisons with Lover's I Forgot That You Existed's reactions of "why would she feel the need to come after Calvin if she's in a happy relationship omg" and...

Alright, listen. Here's my super fresh out the over hot take: have we forgotten who we're talking about? Melancolia, and digging up the grave another time, and never leaving well enough alone, and remembering it all too well, and looking back, and recalling now, and seeing it all now that it's gone, and wishing she'd realized what she had, and the whole ass concept of midnights is her dealing with the past and coming to terms with the series of events (happy or unfortunate) that led up to where she is now. It's her coping and doing that hindsight is 20/20, introspective psychoanalytic revisiting of the past, a terribly underappreciated skill characteristic to someone who's very emotionally intelligent. She's like an Olympic Gymnast in emotional maturity and intelligence at this point, and as such she never stops training and practicing -as in, she never stops reminiscing and taking apart what was and isn't anymore, like someone who's trying to figure out what didn't work out, what was the last straw, where were the signs she missed, what should've gone differently, how they could have fixed things, etc etc- It's her niche, her field of expertise and trade mark. Why is it becoming an issue now? Like, our capacity for empathy is super selective, honestly.

Also, now knowing how long it'd been shelved, there's a new bigger book of itemized speculations from the public, many of which will hardly ever get any sign of official recognition, much less one of direct confirmation.

It was probably one of those songs that was meant to be just for her and never released, or that didn't fit any album yet. Hell, it was probably what nudged her into starting a whole new album after an entire year of putting out rerecordings. Maybe she was already well underway designing the concept for the album, maybe the concept was already set, maybe this one at the moment fit said concept and was a call back to another sleepless night that could've taken place at any point in her life, be that recent past or decades ago past, current relationship's past struggles, ancient relationship ponderings.. you know what I mean? She's not doing anything out of what we've learn to expect from her throughout her career but more specifically when it comes to her latest studio album, which literally, as the well established and expressively stated core concept foretells, is an exploration of a lifetime of insomnia inducing ruminations.

[That being said, at the beginning of the year she did spend quite a lot of time flying back and from NYC's Electric Lady Studios (but I actually think she was most likely working on the rerecording of Speak Now and 1989) so there's that on the table.]

But at the end of the day these are people we don't know personally, and unless Joe decides to write a memoir (highly improbable), write another few songs but on his own and make them public, or write/direct a piece in the audiovisual department that specifically addresses the end of a long and very scrutinized relationship, idk something of the like, we might never know his side of the story. Taylor has this very public outlet and a huge platform whereas Joe doesn't beyond his sporadic Instagram photo dumps every once in a while.

Anyway, I don't think her puting an already published song now out on Spotify is a dig. She probably knew this assumption was inevitable and by now super predictive, cause this type of speculation has happened with literally every single one of her songs. She simply decided not to shield away from the scrutiny that was to come regardless and not let the public frenzy censor her anymore. People were gonna think the worst either way, make up theories and demonize her and the intentions they imagine she had for putting out a song about her own life.

I also think she learned from the experience of the re-releases that now she doesn't have to limit her self expression to appease absolutely anyone other than herself. She doesn't have to keep the men in suits with the big pockets happy to get where she wants to go. The rerecordings are a passion project of hers, where the fans' impressions and opinions haven't weighed too much in the making of. Yet, the relentless encouragement she's received from said fans, along with the praise from the media as an after the fact result (which could have never been taken for granted since none of them were counting on it getting any sustancial pay off, keeping in mind an enterprise like that hadn't had that much commercial success in previous attempts by several other artists... which is exactly why she was doing it more for herself and her own personal moral and legal gain) have helped in getting her out of her head about releasing discarded projects. You know, stuff that for some reason or another had to be cut from the final more polished official version of the end product. And it reassured her in the fact that, in the position she's in, at least today, whatever she releases will most likely not bomb commercially. Also, as an added bonus, not only does she get to get things off her chest and speak her truth, but revel in the knowledge that it feeds both the media and her own fanbase with content she knows it's desperately being sought after and craved for, not out of necessity but out of greed for anything resembling an inside look into her up till very recently pretty much kept under wraps and extremely undisclosed private life. Yes, even if it's calculated, cause it's a taste of the type of flaunting and overexposing she was known for during the 1989 era, where everyone and everything clung to her for clout.

What was my point? Something along the lines of be thankful for the dashboard food she's providing us with, but also be nice??? Be more aware of the bigger picture and the inner workings behind the decision of putting out a previously shelved song??? And be empathetic??? It's not that hard??

And, sidenote: in case it was so -that she's still harboring some type of feelings towards Joe (anger, resentment, sadness, longing, etc)-, she's completely entitled to feel any which way she might deem appropriate in regards to her own life, her own relationships and situations, and act and react upon them accordingly. We, however, are NOT entitled to any answer whatsoever. All tidbits, drops of tea and crumbs of scones are hers to disclose if so she chooses and at will, not ours to demand.

[leehansfishies]

ENHYPEN’s Discography

Hello Fishies!! Today we're doing my absolute ult group's discography as my first post. Lemme know how you feel about this layout, and if I should add or omit certain parts.

One!! I got into Enha when they're first album came out, so I've been into their music for a hot minute. I truly love every song and I almost never skip their music when it comes on.

Two!! This is purely my opinion. If you disagree, that's fine, but be respectful. We all have our own taste, and we cannot fault each other for that.

Now that I got my little blurb out, let's actually get start!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I had to give their Korean title tracks a rank it would be :

1.Blessed-Cursed 2.Drunk-Dazed 3.Tamed-Dashed 4.Bite Me 5.Future Perfect 6.Fatal Trouble 7.Given-Taken 8.Sweet Venom 9.XO

I have always been a Blessed-Cursed girlie since it came out. I was clutching my hypothetical pearls when I was watching the music video. Like I woke up early before school to listen/watch, and then just had to go to school like nothing happened. XO is good, but at the time of me making this, it's been out for a day, so I don't truly have a solid opinion, but I really don't think it will change.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I had to give their Korean albums an overall rank it would be :

1.Manifesto Day One 2.Dark Blood 3.Border Day One 4.Dimension Dilemma 5.Dimension Answer 6.Memorabilia 7.Border Carnival 8.Orange Blood 9.Romance Untold

Guys, Manifesto Day 1 is one of the best albums ever imo. I love it so much and I immediately went to both Targets in my area to buy the 6 versions. Again, Romance Untold has only been out for a day as of posting this so I don't have a solid opinion, but i really don't think it'll change.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My favorite song from each album :

Border Day One Given-Taken - Absolutely iconic debut imo

Border Carnival Fever/Mixed Up - They just hit so hard

Dimension Dilemma GBGH - My fav club song

Dimension Answer Blessed-Cursed - Clutching my pearls

Manifesto Day 1 Foreshadow - It is so ungodly how good it it

Dark Blood Chaconne - I feel like I'm on drugs

Orange Blood Blind - It's so like cyber sounding to me

Memorabilia Teeth - I literally feel like the hottest girl in the room

Romance Untold Brought The Heat Back - Ass shaking banger

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just a couple extra things :

My least favorite song is Blockbuster. It is not a bad song whatsoever, I just don't vibe with it as much as all their other songs.

A song that I am not ashamed to admit I unironically love is Keep Swimmin' Through. It is saur cute and fun and I don't trust you if you don't sing along(jk)

Song Recs : Just A Little Bit Upper Side Dreamin' I Need The Light Criminal Love Zero Moment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you so much if you made it to the end!! I hope this was a fun little read for you and I hope you stick around ≧◡≦

[sofiiel]

Time of Your Life | Eddie x Reader

Excited Eddie | This Is Music! | Against The Rules? | a smidge surreal

Masterlist

A/n: God, Eddie would be so fun on a concert date. He'd be a great big ball of energy, the kind of guy that knows every lyric before it's sung. Just to see him thoroughly enjoy himself would be amazing, so, I'm giving this a go.

The band will remain nameless as B/n and M/n is for the musician's name, insert whatever band or person you think would be You and Eddie's desired concert for a day. Also, feel free to share who you and Eddie went to see.

Eddie can't stand still as the two of you wait in line. You bought him Floor tickets to see B/n. He's talking a mile a minute and if you hadn't become a pro at speed listening it would have sounded like a language you didn't know.

"And they're going to be preforming a song from the unreleased album, and we're going to be so close to the stage" He went on, nearly crushing the band Tee in his hands.

"Eddie, they'll be selling new ones inside, why'd you bring that old thing?" You ask. He blinks at you in disbelief, "you know what, I still love you." He said to you while hugging his shirt tight.

"It's the emotional connection. I need to have them sign this one, this shirt that has taken spills, this shirt that doubled as pajamas and carried my drool, this shirt that has seen blood sweat and tears." He ranted, "not some new shirt I hardly know."

You laugh and "sure, now I feel awkward about just buying a poster inside to get signed."

Eddie grins, "have them sign your pants." He said. "My pants?" you ask. Eddie shrugs, "yeah, why not?"

"Because these are my favorite ones, the signatures would wash out. And Not wearing them again isn't an option." You protest. Eddie hums, "you know you're right, those pants of yours have a beautiful view." He says, leaning to still a look at your butt.

"See, we both need these pants. Can't retire them yet." you say as Eddie stands closer, slipping his hand into your back pocket while you lean against him, waiting for the line to move.

Inside the lobby, Eddie has you by the hand, if he walked any faster he'd have to jog. You're glad you opted for the comfy shoes rather than the one that looked cool, and here you thought you'd regret it.

Now standing on the floor, Eddie is nearly bouncing, his eyes darting between you and the stage. "I'm so damned amped right now, babe." he says, the smile on his face just won't go away.

"Yes, and it's infectious!" you cheer, a smile to match his popping up.

Smoke fills the stage, and the amps are humming, As B/n greets the crowd and the intro to the first song plays, Eddie looses it. He's jumping up and down in the air, legs curled in with each leap so that his knees touch his stomach.

Horns are thrown up in the air as the jumping stops, and you toss yours up too. You and Eddie nearly scream the song lyrics as you sing to each other over the hundreds of voices singing right along with you.

Eddie holds you close once he needs a bit of time to catch his breath, the crowd gets a little pushy, Eddie quietly holds out his arm to create distance between a fan who nearly knocked out over trying to get a closer look at the stage, and you.

There are only a few songs left in the set now, and the moment he hears a new melody play, Eddie grabs your hand and drags you through the crowd. "Eddie!" You can't just-"

"We're still in the right section." He says quickly. However, when you stop, you find yourself looking right up at the band from the bottom of the stage. "Holy shit!" you gasp.

"I know!" Eddie cheers.

Eddie's already singing along with the new song, and the frontman seems to be pretty impressed.

It happens fast, your mind can't register it. Eddie's managed to get invited up to the stage, and he's dragging his emotional support Y/n right along with him.

You want to shout and to protest, but the grin he flashes you as he calls out over the roar of the crowd "let's go babe!" hushes you right up.

B/n is amused by both Eddie's euphoric hype, and your stunned deer expression. Eddie's not wasting this chance, and runs to one of the guitarists, begging for the guitar.

You feel awkward just lingering, But Eddie pulls you close to him as he lowers his stance and starts playing with the band, You warp your arms over his shoulders from behind, hugging him loosely enough so that he can play.

You feel pride swell in your chest as he keeps up with the pros, and they are each giving him props for it. Your eyes are stuck on him, you know you must look silly to those below, but you don't care.

Eddie returns the guitar to his heroes and whirls around to face you. He's got a chance to do something outrageous, and he's going to damn well do it.

There's a wildly mischievous smile on his face, showing all his teeth as his eyes twinkle. You don't have time to guess what's on his mind as you're pulled to him and dipped.

It happens so fast, for a second you think you're falling, but his grip on you his firm as he plants his lips against yours. In the thrill of everything that has happened, it's a passionate kiss, and you hold onto his arms. His heart is thundering in his ears, and you're hearing your own as well.

Eddie breaks the kiss, takes your hand and makes a run for it, with your hand in his you can't stop the momentum and have to follow as he says "jump!" Your feet follow his taking to the air, and you Mimic Eddie's movements as he turns, allowing the Crowd to carry the both of you.

Eddie throws his horns into the air, nearly cackling, his eyes squinting almost closed as he smirks curved up his cheeks. He's looking at you as you look around in amazement. "This isn't happening!" you call out, grinning. "It's totally happening!" He shouts at you.

The last song is sung, and B/N bids goodbye to the crowd that begging for one last song at the top of their lungs. Looking at Eddie, he's just about glistening with sweat from dancing about, banging his head, playing with the band and crowd-surfing.

He kisses your eyelids, "thank you" and your cheek, "I love you" then your nose "You're the most amazing person ever." and then your lips. This time the kiss is slow, his hands hold you by your hips, but one can't help up slip to rest against the side of your neck as he gently sucks and pulls at your bottom lip.

People exiting the concert hall into the lobby stare, or mutter about you two being sickening.

You don't care, nor do you truly notice. Eddie's slightly damp hair stick's to his cheek, you brush it away gently as you close your eyes, and part your lips. Eddie's careful with letting his tongue wander.

"Come on, the meet and greet has started!" a fan calls to their friend.

Eddie gasps and breaks the kiss, he takes up your hand again and books it up the hall. "We're gonna miss the signing!" He shouts.

Eddie quietly fanboyed in your ear while waiting in a line that wrapped around the hall for the signing. "I got to play with M/n! I can't fucking believe it!" Eddie said for the ninth time.

"You one day some excited aspiring artist is going to be gushing just like this about you." you say.

Eddie looks down at you and smiles gently, "Nah...." he says waving you off, He peeks around the line to see how far it is before looking back down at you bashfully, "you think?" he asks.

"Oh I know. And hopefully he's genius enough to drag his emotional support person up there with him, and shock the shit out of them with an earth-shattering kiss." you tell him.

Eddie smirked, "wait, it was earth-shattering?" He asked, brows raised high.

"Look the lines moving!" you say quickly, feeling your cheeks heat up. Eddie walks forward and turns back to you, "now back to how my kiss just rocked your world better than B/n, apparently." He said. Nope, you weren't getting out of that so easily.

Reaching the front of the line, Eddie fully calmed himself. It was obvious he didn't want to freak out too much in front of his heroes. He carefully laid out his shirt before them, untying it from his belt. "Hey, it's you, you've got some real talent," says M/n.

For a moment you thought Eddie would blush, but he fought it off well as he smiled. "You don't know how much that means to me. Like no Idea." Eddie said.

"The name of the future shredder? Who do we make this out to?" M/n asked with a smile only a star could give. And Eddie was indeed star struck.

"Eddie Munson." he says.

You lean around Eddie, and whisper your pet name for him. M/n laughs as he signs it to "Eddie P/n Munson," the other band members leave signatures of their own.

"Eddie Munson, Fucking Metal"

"Eddie, this one's for you."

"To Axe Murderer Munson"

Each one made his smile grow more, and you were concerned that his cheeks would spasm. But soon got lost in daydreaming, You couldn't wait for the day it was Eddie and the guys sitting at one of these tables.

It wasn't a matter of if, only when. Watching Eddie talk with the band, you found yourself silently wishing that when that day comes, you'd be there front and center, his biggest fan, and first in line to the signing.

"How, in the actual hell, did you just pull that off?" You ask Eddie as you sit in the passenger's seat of his Van. The two of you are headed for a diner, M/n wrote down on a piece of paper.

B/n collectively invited Eddie to dinner with them, to give him some pearls of wisdom into the life of professional musicians, a short of half hour crash course.

Eddie chuckled and shook his head, "I don't know. Pinch me." He said. You playfully reach towards his arm, "no! Not for real!" he called.

"I'm playing." you laugh.

"This is huge, I bet they remember you when Corroded Coffin hit's their level. Can you imagine? Looking back on today, when that happens?" You asked.

Eddie smiled faintly, eyes fixed to the road as he could feel his heart filling up.

"Or when you like going on tour with them, opening for them or maybe - maybe," you chatter on excitedly, "they open for Corroded, that, my love, would be clutch as hell."

"I don't know if I'm over the moon or scared of the faith you have in me, us." Eddie chuckled nervously. "It's some big shoes to fill, babe." He murmured.

"Oh you can do it, but You don't need to fill the shoes, You're going to make me proud regardless. You're my star no matter what." you tell him.

It's enough to make him blush. "I'll let you sign my favorite pants." you hum.

"It'll wash out." He laughed.

You shrug, "so you just keep signing them."

"Just saying, it's going to happen, just you wait." you add.

You and Eddie waited in the odd little diner with bright yellow seats. It wasn't the sort of place you expect B/n to choose to decompress. But then again, maybe that was the whole point.

"Probably fewer fans lurking about." was Eddie's reasoning.

After debriefing, freshening up and coming out of stage clothing, the members of B/n arrived at the diner.

After a bout of small talk, heavy praising of Eddie's skill, and some helpful friendly constructive criticism, B/n started to talk about the lifestyle, work ethic and more of being a professional musician.

You quietly wrote notes down for Eddie on napkins while he sat enthralled, listening attentively to the band and what words they had to offer him.

Eddie's heavily focused, you can tell by the serious expression on his face. You've only ever seen him this focused when he is working on a new song, writing up a campaign, or when listening to you when you really need it.

But you love that look, for a moment Eddie glances towards you. He catches you watching him, and he sends you a quick wink. It's a struggle to fight off a silly grin, surely you can sit around and be that couple in front of B/n.

Then again, it's much too late for that concern.

After the meal, a chat, and a smoke B/n leave to turn in for the night. As it stands to reason, they're exhausted.

Eddie stomps out his cigarette, and the two of you go back inside the diner, wanting desert. Eddie slumps in his chair once everything is quiet, his hands tucked behind his head as he exhales and whistles.

He looks at you, and you back at him, then slowly the two of you burst into a fit of laughter. "Holy shit, what's happening!" Eddie exclaimed gleefully. "They absolutely loved you." you say.

"I got tips, from M/n. I got tips from B/n" Eddie whispered, nearly dancing in his seat. "Oh, the guys are going to be so jealous." He exhaled.

"Green with it." You hummed.

Sitting up, Eddie fussed at his hair, eyes holding a dreamy wonder in them, as he watched the remains of his ice cream melt away. "Wow." he whispered.

You give him a warm smile, standing up you walk to sit in his lap and kiss him gently. "Happy birthday Eddie."

He looks up at you, takes your hands in his and kisses the back of them before holding your hands to his heart. "I'll never forget this day, ever. Even when I'm an ancient husk of myself, never forgetting this day." He said.

He kisses the back of your hands once more, "Or you. Not ever. I had the time of my life, and I had it with you." He whispered.

"Best birthday ever?" you ask.

Eddie nods and, leaning in for another kiss, he murmurs, "best birthday ever."

Masterlist

[memorypassage]

This is the story of one Cambridge boy, who, despite all his privileges, felt betrayed by the world. He saw destruction in every corner of his life. He lost all he thought he could ever love, so he fell to his knees and asked God, "Why must you punish me? I'm far too handsome to not be in magazines!"

But God said nothing to me, so I resigned to my room and scrolled, weeping, to the bottom of my Instagram. I clicked furiously through every one of my tagged photos and learned nothing about myself. I asked every girl I’ve ever slept with to rate my performance, and the results were horrifying. I watched Mad Max: Fury Road with my mother to learn what masculinity means. I read the top twelve pieces of relationship advice from How I Met Your Mother on Buzzfeed. I threw out my 2-in-1 and bought separate shampoo and conditioner. I listened to Jerskin Fendrix every day for a month. I googled myself so many times, I started trending. I read back my love letters to southeastern French villages, and knew that I was really just writing about you. I was so busy trying to understand who I was that I forgot my dog's birthday; I'm sorry, Dylan. I woke up every day and had to re-remember all that had been taken from me. Like the whole of Groundhog Day combined with just the second half of 50 First Dates

And at one moment, I never felt more like I wanted to die in my life. And in the next moment, I never felt more like I needed to try in my life. To be who I know I could be. To be an outrageous rock and roll icon. To be a masterful lover. To be the best dressed guy in this Shoreditch venue. To be on the cover of So Young magazine in collage form. To be a well-regarded DJ of rare techno on vinyl only. To be the hero of my dope childhood dreams

So I put on fresh socks and a Kanye West album, and went to find my next calling, to turn the page in the book of my life. I bought a coffee table book about minimalism, and a new sweater. I cut my own hair badly and started using face scrub. I unfollowed every girl who posted pictures of healthy meals, and every girl who posted pictures of happy meals. I’m sorry, Henry. I gave myself a hilarious name on Facebook. I pretended to not know who Lil Yachty was. I told everyone I'd met that I'd never seen Black Mirror. I threw out my bedframe, and put my mattress on the floor. I destroyed my aeropress and started drinking instant coffee. I acted like I knew nothing about craft beer. I bitched about every group in South London. I am sorry, Sorry

And as I started to define myself purely by the things I hated, I knew I had become the antithesis of my 2016 manifesto. I was so lost in my plight to exist, that I forgot to live, and I forgot to love. And so learn from me, children. Be better than I am! Vanity plagues me, but it's not too late for you. I love you. Good night