#Encouraging Participation and Engagement | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

staff · 2 years ago

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Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience.

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content.

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up.

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant.

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are.

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds.

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs.

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread.

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads.

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed.

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it.

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages.

Test what the right daily push notification limit is.

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users.

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

#tumblr #engineering #core product strategy

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transcriptioncity · 1 year ago

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The Psychology of Effective Meeting Moderation: Techniques to Foster Engagement and Collaboration

The Psychology of Effective Meeting Moderation Meeting moderation is an art rooted in psychological principles. Effective meeting moderation services can transform an ordinary meeting into a productive, engaging, and collaborative session. Understanding the psychology behind successful moderation can help you encourage participation and foster a sense of collaboration among attendees. Effective…

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thewriteadviceforwriters · 4 months ago

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How to Start Writing Again When the Spark Fades

Sometimes the well of creativity runs dry, leaving you staring at a blank page with nothing but frustration. But trust that the art of writing is as much about the journey as it is about the destination. Here are some ideas to help you reconnect with your writing practice when you feel like your passion has dimmed.

Redefine Your Environment Consider taking a deliberate step outside your usual writing space. The environment in which you work can drastically affect your mindset and creative flow. Even if it’s setting up in a different corner of your home, finding refuge in a local café, or enjoying the subtle distractions of a park bench, a change in scenery often signals a mental reset. This isn’t about permanent relocation, just a simple shift can break the monotony and stir new ideas that have been hiding in plain sight.

Embrace Imperfection The pressure to produce perfect prose can be paralyzing. Give yourself permission to create something imperfect yet honest. Think of every sentence you write as a rough sketch, a necessary experiment in understanding your own voice. When you allow yourself the space to write without the weight of perfection, you invite experimentation and genuine self-expression. That freedom lies at the heart of rediscovering why you fell in love with writing in the first place.

Set Incremental Goals for Continuous Momentum When the idea of diving into a full chapter feels overwhelming, scale back to manageable, bite-sized projects that feel achievable. Instead of demanding a polished page, challenge yourself to write a paragraph or even a single sentence each day. These micro-goals build a foundation of small successes, gradually restoring confidence and momentum. Over time, these consistent efforts enrich your creative reservoir, proving that every little step is indeed a victory.

Engage Deeply in the Process of Freewriting Allow yourself to spill thoughts onto the page without judgment or expectation. Freewriting is an exercise in vulnerability and self-exploration, offering you a space to unburden tangled ideas and unexpected insights. In these unfiltered moments, you might stumble upon a germ of an idea or a rediscovered passion that rekindles your creative fire. Embracing this unstructured approach can transform an intimidating blank page into an open canvas of potential you haven't tapped back into.

Rekindle Old Inspirations There is power in revisiting the work and moments that first ignited your creative spirit. Even if it’s rereading an old journal entry, rediscovering a favorite piece of literature, or reflecting on the stories that once moved you, reconnecting with your past inspirations can shed new light on your present creative journey. This reflective practice not only reminds you of your original passion but may also reveal new directions for your current writing endeavors.

Create a Consistent, Loving Writing Routine Creating a structured yet gentle routine can help reestablish your relationship with writing. Treat your writing time as a vital appointment, a moment carved out just for you. Even if inspiration seems scarce, the simple act of sitting down, opening your notebook, and letting words flow without self-censorship can be incredibly healing. Over time, this practice transforms writing from an obligation into a ritual of self-discovery and mindfulness.

Connect with a Community That Understands Engaging with fellow writers can remind you that you’re not alone in this struggle. The shared experience of creative highs and lows can be profoundly comforting. Join writing groups, participate in online forums, or simply reach out to someone whose work inspires you. These interactions foster a sense of belonging and accountability, encouraging you to keep writing even when the path isn’t clear. In the gentle exchange of ideas and feedback, there is often a spark that reignites your dedication.

Every writer’s journey is unique, filled with ebbs and flows. If you’re feeling disconnected, know that these moments are integral to growth. Embrace each phase as an opportunity to rediscover writing on its own terms, and allow your passion to guide you back into the words you love. If you need any advice from me, never be afraid to send me an ask.

Until next time, Rin T.

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punctuationbreakdown · 5 months ago

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About that Scientology connection...

One of the details that came to light this week in the latest article detailing the horrific allegations against Neil Gaiman (which I believe are true, to be clear, but not the primary focus of what I'm writing about here) is the extent of his ties to the Church of Scientology. I was most engaged with Neil's work as a teenager and in my early 20s, and I didn't recall seeing mention of the connection at the time (granted, that was more than a few years ago!). I couldn't let it go after reading the Vulture article, so I started to dig a bit and found a lot of information being shared on Reddit and even further digging uncovered archived forum posts from over a decade ago by former CoS members.

There are a lot of details in this article by Mikey Crotty, who appears to be an independent comics journalist, which was published by Mike Rinder on his blog in 2023. Rinder was famously an executive in the "church" in Australia and ran SeaOrg (the elite force of CoS, essentially, and responsible for internal discipline within the broader org) before ultimately leaving the organization and speaking out as loudly as he could about the abuses he had been complicit in as a member (at great personal risk, as anyone who is familiar with the tactics used against former CoS members will know).

The piece was written as an exposé about Gaiman's novel, The Ocean at the End of the Lane, which was semi-autobiographical. Crotty discusses details about Gaiman's family, Gaiman's participation in CoS, and the coverup his father orchestrated for an apparent suicide of a student of Scientology who had immigrated to the UK and was living with the Gaimans at the time. This suicide is written into The Ocean at the End of the Lane.

Neil's father, David Gaiman, was head of worldwide communications for the Church of Scientology in the 60s, and was leading the PR spin to protect the organization from increasing legal scrutiny in the UK at the time. Around the same time, a suicide occurred while a young man, Johannes Scheepers, was living with them (the Gaiman's took in CoS students as lodgers at their home on a regular basis, apparently). The Gaiman family launched a campaign to depict him as a broken down gambler to avoid further scandal for the organization. The logic doesn't quite add up, and it's more likely that Johannes was a new adherent who had been badly taken advantage of. You can read more details in the article I linked. Crotty makes the case that not only were the Gaimans lying about the death of the student, even going so far as to claim he wasn't actually lodging with them, but that Neil then went further to spread these lies in the form of fiction decades later (we now know this book was written as a result of the prompting of Amanda Palmer, who was encouraging him to confront his childhood experiences with CoS per the article in Vulture).

The article also points out evidence of Neil's continued involvement with Scientology:

Neil Gaiman’s history with Scientology is very murky; deliberately so. His family are practically Scientology royalty in the UK, he met his first wife Mary McGrath while she was studying Scientology and lodging at Harrow House and he himself worked as a Scientology Auditor for several years in the Eighties and was a Director of a Scientologist’s property company ‘Centrepoint’ until 1999. He now won’t discuss his own Scientology connections and states, without any details, that he’s no longer a member of the Cult that supported Apartheid up until the mid eighties, believes homosexuals are deviants and mental illness is a manifestation of personal failure in the sufferer’s current or past life; beliefs which are anathema to most of Neil’s adoring audience. His connection to Scientology and apparent departure from the cult first went public as part of a court case in 2002 where when asked “Are you still involved with the Church of Scientology?” Neil said “I don’t understand the question”, subsequently asked “Are you still a member of the Church of Scientology?” he replied “I don’t consider myself as such”. Even then his admission that he worked for the Church for 3 years is somewhat confusing: “I worked for a 3 year period after getting out of school as a ‘Counsellor’ for the Church of Scientology”; in fact he actually worked as an ‘Auditor’ in a process made famous in the award winning 2015 Documentary ‘Going Clear’ which explains how officials in the Church of Scientology keep in-depth records on everything its members say during private ‘auditing’ sessions and then use their secrets against them. Renowned Journalist and author on Scientology Tony Ortega says that Gaiman “became a Class VIII auditor, and even ran the Birmingham “org” as its ED, executive director. “. While there is no contradiction in Neil’s actual admission of working for Scientology up till the late Nineties and subsequently leaving the cult and its beliefs sometime in the early Noughties, conflicting details arise in the period since, when Neil has insisted he’s not a Scientologist. According to public records he was a shareholder in the family firm G&G Foods, which produces the vitamins used in Scientology’s highly criticized Narconon and De-Tox practices, since 2011. He transferred approximately a quarter of a million shares to Scientologist shareholders in 2013. There’s the book ‘Ocean’ also from 2013 and then there’s also his production company ‘The Blank Corporation’. ‘The Blank Corporation’ is Neil’s production company which works on all his adaptations such as ‘Sandman’, ‘Anansi Boys’, ‘Good Omens’ and the upcoming ‘Ocean at the End of the Lane’ in partnership with Netflix, Amazon, Warner Bros, the BBC and others. According to the website and any interviews, Neil founded ‘The Blank Corporation’ in 2016 with his Vice President and former P.A. Cat Mihos. According to the official Companies registration however, the company was actually set up by Neil and then wife (and still devout Scientologist) Mary McGrath in 2000. The company is still registered to a Scientologist’s P.O Box in Wisconsin, where Mary McGrath still works for the Church of Scientology. One company; two very different stories, it’s just another mystery, like what really happened to cause Johannes Scheepers to take his own life in 1968.

I want to note that based on what I've read, being a Class VIII auditor is the highest level you can go as an auditor in CoS without becoming a member of SeaOrg. Auditors are individuals who are key to the brainwashing process members of CoS undergo; they utilize the org's "technology" to identify past sins by doing intensive interrogation sessions with members. This means Neil was well trained in how to psychologically interrogate org members and held a position of relative power over them as he documented their dearest secrets for the org (primarily to blackmail them with should they ever want to leave, based on CoS records and former members' experiences).

I found forum posts where others reviewed public records that confirmed the majority of these claims, although unable to confirm the PO Box in Wisconsin. His sister, Lizzy Calcioli, is the current company director of G&G, which supplies pseudoscientific vitamin treatments to drug rehabilitation seekers that are horribly abused by Narconon (CoS does not allow actual medical intervention or medical practices in its org). According to public filings, Neil still owns shares in G&G.

There is also this interview from 2010 with the New Yorker, in which Neil claims he is no longer a member of CoS, but expresses sympathy with them:

These days, Gaiman tends to avoid questions about his faith, but says he is not a Scientologist. Like Judaism, Scientology is the religion of his family, and he feels some solidarity with them. “I will stand with groups when I feel like they’re being properly persecuted,” he told me.

It is also well known that celebrity members of CoS are encouraged/allowed to lie about their connection to it in order to support their monetary success. Because of course they're going to contribute back to the organization through that success, which it appears Neil has done.

Additionally, we know from public accounts of CoS's practices and leaked documents that once someone leaves the organization, they are not allowed to continue to associate with anyone within the cult. Isolation of former victims is one of the many tools used against them. The fact that Neil maintained a marriage for decades to an active member who still works for CoS, as well as relationships with his family members who are leaders in CoS, indicates he is either still on the books as a member or is contributing to CoS in order to avoid alienation from his family. Any sympathy a desire to remain connected with his family might conjure is misguided in my opinion, because we know that he's likely profiting off of shares in a company that takes advantage of and contributes to the traumatization of vulnerable patients as a CoS affiliated business.

Had I known Neil Gaiman was so closely connected to the "church" sooner (one degree away from L. Ron Hubbard himself as a child!), I would not have supported his work in the way that I did in the past. And I think he knew that a significant portion of his audience would respond the same way, which is why he obfuscated and downplayed those connections.

His alleged ongoing involvement also changes the way I perceive his actions - Deception and manipulation is, by former member's accounts, standard procedure for leaders within Scientology. It should come as no surprise that he will continue to deny any evidence, attempt to blame his victims, and lie lie lie to avoid potential consequences. It is, after all, the example he was given and trained in as an active participant in a destructive cult that he has never publicly disavowed and that he appears to continue to support.

I think this information should be taken into account as former (hopefully) fans react to his responses to these accusations. I wish for peace for the victims who are now speaking out, and I hope they are able to reach the resolution they deserve.

#neil gaiman #scientology #op

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letteredlettered · 7 months ago

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feedback and fic in fandom (3 f's of our own)

This conversation about feedback on fic says everything I’ve been wanting to say better than I could say it. But I’ll go ahead and try anyway.

Over the last five years or so there have been some great discussions around the rise of commodification of fanworks and decline of fandom community. This commodification looks a bit like enshittification of the internet: a cool site exists; its popularity makes someone realize they can get money from it; it has more and more ads; the site adds features to drive engagement, including The Algorithm; the things that made the site cool start to fall away. The site exists now as a vehicle purely to get clicks, and the people on it are on it solely to get clicks—to make money, to be successful, for some kind of social cachet.

AO3 doesn’t have advertisements. It’s not making money. But what is happening to fandom is proof of concept that enshittification changes the way we as humans engage. A cool website in 2004 was often a community space where you could meet people, have conversations, find cool things, and make cool things. A cool website in 2024 is either a content farm that will continually feed you enough content to hold your attention, or a social media site where your participation will come with stats to show you whether you are holding the attention of others.

AO3 wasn’t built to be a community space. It doesn’t have great functions for meeting people and having conversations. The idea was that, because fandom community spaces already existed, AO3 would serve the part of that community where you can find the cool things and store the cool things you made. It was meant to be a library in a city, not the whole city itself.

But it was also never meant to be a website in 2024, a content farm constantly generating content solely for your clicks and eyeballs and ad revenue, or a social media site where the content creators themselves vie for your clicks and eyeballs.

The most common talking point when people discuss the enshittification of fandom is the folks out there who are treating AO3 as that first kind of enshittified website: the content farm. This discussion is about how people treat fanfic as a product for consumption.

The post that kicked off the discussion on @sitp-recs’s blog was about someone who wasn’t getting very many kudos or comments on their fic, and was feeling pretty demoralized about it, then joined a discord server and found an entire channel dedicated to people loving their fic. But those on that server had never come to share that love with the author, which the author found really discouraging.

There are more and more stories like this. Someone on tiktok pulls a quote from a fic on AO3 and makes a 10-second video with them staring at a wall, the quote pasted at the bottom, music playing over it. It has 100,000 hearts, and 100 comments with people gushing over the fic, which has 80 kudos on AO3. Overall, people notice more and more hits on their fics, but fewer and fewer comments or even kudos. Fewer and fewer people seem to feel the need to interact with the author, instead treating the fic like a product to be used and discarded—which the enshittified internet (a stunning feature of late-stage capitalism!) encourages. The fandom community is dying, these stories conclude.

I agree. 100%. Both of the stories above have happened to me—viral tiktoks about my fic, secret discord channels to follow and discuss my fic—and let me tell you, it fucking sucks.

But from these observations about fandom enshittification, the discussion continues in a very odd direction. The solution to the death of fandom community is our favorite enshittification buzzword: engagement. We should engage the authors. They’re producing these products for free. We consume them at no cost. We must demonstrate our gratitude by paying them back.

It’s as though the capitalist consumption that the enshittified web encourages is so ingrained within us that we must think in terms of payment, in terms of exchange, transaction. Or as though, by forgoing payment, authors are some kind of martyrs defying capitalism, and the only way to honor their great sacrifice is comments and kudos.

Indeed, the discourse around this sometimes does veer away from capitalist rhetoric into something that smells almost religious in desperation. Authors are gods who bestow us mere mortals with the fruits of their labor benevolently, through love; the least we can do is worship them. Meanwhile the authors adopt the groveling sentiment of starving artists: I produce great art; I only humbly ask that you feed me in return.

These kinds of entreaties make my skin crawl for a number of reasons. I’m not a god. I’m not writing because I love you. I don’t expect your worship or even your praise.

I think the thing that disturbs me the most about it is that it suggests that authors (or, if the OP is feeling generous fan work creators) are the most important people in fandom. I’ve even seen posts stating that without creators, fandom wouldn’t exist—as though readers aren’t just as important. As though conversations where people discuss characterizations and plot points and randomly spin out interpretations and ideas and thoughts related to canon are meaningless. I’ve even seen people scramble to include folks having these discussions as “creators,” as though realizing that these people are necessary and integral to fandom communities but unable to drop the idea that the producers are the ones who are important. As though that person who just lurks can never count.

Is this what community is? When you join the queer community, are you expected to produce a product of your queerness? If not, must you actively participate and give back to the queer community in order to be considered a part of it? Or is it enough that you are queer, that you exist as a queer person and want to be around others who are queer, you want to be a part of something? What is community, anyway?

The problem with people raising the authors above everyone else in the community and demanding that tribute be paid is that they are decrying the “content farm” style of 2024 website out of one side of their mouth, but out of the other side are instead demanding that AO3 become a 2024-style social media website. Authors are influencers. “Engagement” and clicks are the things that really matter. They are in fact suggesting that the way to solve the commodification of fanfic is by “paying authors back” with stats.

Before anyone comes at me with the idea that comments aren’t just “stats,” I will clarify what I mean. There are literally hundreds of posts on tumblr alone claiming that any comment “helps” the author. Someone replies that they are shy to comment. Someone else replies that incoherent keyboard smashes, a single emoji, or the comment “kudos” are all that is required to satisfy the author, all that is required as tribute—all that is required as payment to keep this economy healthy.

I’m not condemning the comments that are keyboard smashes or emojis or a single kind word. I receive them. They make me happy. If anyone wants to leave such a comment on my fics, I’m really grateful for it. But this is not community-building. This is a transaction. In @yiiiiiiiikes25’s excellent response in the post linked at the beginning, they point out that “you have a cool hat” is something that is “perfectly nice” to hear from someone—and it is! We all want to be told we have a cool hat! But as they go on to say, what builds community is interactions that are deep and specific, interactions that are rich in quality, not in quantity. A kudos or a comment that says only ❤️are lovely things to receive, but they don’t build community.

My reaction, when I see people begging for kudos and comments as the only means by which to keep fandom community alive, is very close to @eleadore's. I want to say, “No. Readers do not need to comment or kudos. Believe not these hucksters who claim to know the appropriate method of fandom participation. Participate as you feel able, or not at all; nothing is required of you.”

I’ve been told before (several times) that I’m not qualified to participate in such discussions because I am an established author who has some fics with very high stats. It doesn’t matter that I have also been a new writer with almost no one reading my fics. It doesn’t matter that I still write in new fandoms where no one in that fandom knows me. It doesn’t matter that I, like any human being, still care about receiving recognition and attention and praise.

And maybe that’s correct. I personally don’t think that billionaires have a place in deciding the direction of the economy, and--if we're really going to consider fandom an economy--in fandom terms, if I’m not a billionaire, or even a millionaire, I’m definitely in the infamous “one percent.” So, just as no one wants to hear Elon Musk say “money isn’t everything,” maybe it’s not my place to say “kudos isn’t required, actually.”

That said, I’m not the only one who has a problem with the stats-based discourse around fandom community. However, the main counter-response to this discussion I see goes something like this: you shouldn’t be writing fic for validation. If you’re writing for attention, you’re doing it for the wrong reason. Authors should write fic because they love it without any expectation of return.

This is, in my opinion, missing the point of what is meant by fandom community.

I wrote fanfic before I knew that fanfic, as a concept, existed. I read books; I wanted them to be different; I wrote little stories for myself with new endings, with self-inserts, with cross-overs, with alternate universes. I did it for myself in the 90s. It never occurred to me that anyone else would do this, much less that people would share.

As @faiell points out—creating and sharing are two different things. I created fics for myself, but I decided to share them in the early 2000s because other people might like them, too. And of course, I wanted to hear whether other people liked them. How could I not? I might decorate my home just for me and not for anyone else’s preferences, but when people come over and say my house is nice, how can I not enjoy that? And if a lot of people think my house is nice, which encourages me to post pictures of it online, isn’t it understandable I might do so with the hope that more people will say my house is nice? And, honestly, if no one is appreciating my pictures, I probably won’t continue to go through the trouble of taking them and posting them. I’ll just enjoy my house that I decorated without sharing, the end.

When I found out there were whole fannish communities where people discussed canon and tossed ideas around about it, made theories and prompts and insights into the characters, fics they had written and recs for other fics and analyses of fics and art based on fics and fics based on art—I wanted to be a part of that, too. Now, sometimes, I write fic not out of an internal need to do so but out of a desire to participate in that community.

The idea that we write fic only for the love of it, then post it only because we possess it, is a process entirely centered on the self. It’s fandom in a vacuum. The idea that we share this thing, that we feel pleasure if someone likes it but feel nothing at all if no one says anything about it, that it’s completely okay to be ignored and unseen—that’s not what a community is either. That’s some weird sort of self-aggrandizement through self-effacement—because yes, there is often a weird kind of virtue-signaling in this kind of discourse.

I say this as someone who has virtue-signaled in that way: “some people write for stats, but I write for myself.” It’s bullshit. Sure, I write for myself, but why post it on the internet? Honestly, said virtue has a whiff of the capitalist machine, which would like you to produce for the sake of production, work for the sake of work. The noblest among us expect no recompense for that which they give!

The reason that I’m bringing this back around to capitalism is that capitalism actively works to dismantle community. The reason that folks are out here pleading for “engagement” in order to “pay back” authors for the products they give us “for free” is because people no longer even have the language to discuss how to participate in meaningful community. And frankly, how to build back fandom community, in the face of enshittification, is getting harder and harder to see.

But I do think that if we value fanfic and the fanfic community, it’s really, really not constructive to judge whether someone’s reasons for writing fanfic are valid. It’s also weird to me that it would be considered wrong that someone’s reason for sharing fanfic is because they would like to receive some recognition for it, when in fact that seems to be the most natural reason in the world for sharing something so private and vulnerable with the world.

Let’s go back to that idea of how hurtful it is to find out your fanfic is trending on tiktok without anyone from tiktok saying anything to you about your fic, or how it can be painful to find out there’s a secret discord channel dedicated to your fic. The people who respond to that with, “Ah, but you shouldn’t be writing to get attention!” are missing the point. The fic did get attention. It got lots. Attention obviously wasn't why the writer was writing--they were writing to participate, and they didn't get to. At all.

However, if your conclusion is that the author was upset because these particular stats were not accruing under this author’s profile, thereby preventing them from achieving the vaunted status of BNF and influencer—I don’t know, maybe you’re right. But I don’t think that’s why I, personally, have been hurt by these things, and I doubt it’s what hurt the people in these posts either. They’re hurt because they want to participate, and they have been systematically excluded by the very people they thought were part of the community they thought they could participate in.

Sure, if those folks from tiktok and the discord server all came and showered the author with kudos and comments that said “kudos,” the author might have felt satisfied enough with the quantity of this recognition that they would continue writing. But in the end, this still does nothing to address the problem of fandom community, in which the deep, meaningful recognition, interactions, and relationships in fandom are getting harder and harder to have and to build, as a result of how people now expect to engage in online spaces.

So, how to address the problem of fandom community? You probably read this long, long post hoping that I had an answer, and for that I must apologize. I don’t have solutions. My intent was to be descriptive, rather than prescriptive. I wished to outline the problems that I’m seeing in what was hopefully a slightly new or at least thought-provoking way, rather than offer solutions.

But, now that I’m talking about being prescriptive, maybe I can offer one suggestion, which is—maybe the solution to this isn’t about prescribing behavior. I do understand the irony in writing a prescription saying we shouldn’t prescribe people, but I’m going to write it anyway:

Maybe we shouldn’t be telling anyone the appropriate reasons for writing fanfic or for sharing it. Maybe we shouldn’t be telling readers they need to kudos or need to comment. If we’re going to go pointing fingers, we should be pointing at the institutions of capitalism that have made the internet what it is today—but I don’t think that’s going to solve the problem either.

But I do think that describing this problem, understanding what it actually is, not blaming readers for it and not blaming authors for it—I do think that helps. The discussion I linked at the beginning of this post is what I think of as the fandom I miss, the fandom that's now harder and harder to access, the fandom that is dying. That fandom was a social space where people had opinions and disagreed and went back and forth and gazed at their navels and then talked about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

In the words of @yiiiiiiiikes25, it was a fuckin’ discussion about hats. And we’re hungry for it.

#fandom #long post #fic #feedback #comment culture

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clockwayswrites · 24 days ago

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(Not Exactly the Haunting of Danny Fenton)

Tim's PowerPoint

“Drake, why are we here?”

“Because Bruce told us to be,” Tim said, eyes focused on the interface set in the meeting table. Damian was like a dog, too much eye contact and he took it as a challenge.

Damian was thankfully silent for about two and a half seconds. Then, “And why is Todd here?”

Jason tossed some popcorn in his mouth, talking around it. “Cause this? This I have to see.”

Tim resisted the urge to sigh. It would just encourage them both. He went through his PowerPoint one more time. Neither of them would allow for mistakes. He didn’t give a fuck what they thought of how he provided the information, but it would have to be right.

Which was annoying with a complex concept like polyamory.

“Right, let’s get started so that we can get this over with,” Tim said as he sent the PowerPoint to the big screen. “Dick is apparently in a new relationship.”

Damian tilted his head. “He finally saw off with that that absurdly cheerful vagabond of a Speedster?”

Don’t give them the satisfaction of sighing. “No. Dick is still dating Wally. The two of them have agreed to try adding another person to their relationship. Bruce wants to make sure nothing is said to ruin the new relationship, hence this PowerPoint.”

“Adding another person?” Damian asked, nose all scrunched up. “Why?”

“Because Polyamory,” Tim said with a grand gesture to the screen where the Pac-Man ghosts were standing with heart eyes under the word.

“Are you Clyde?” Jason asked.

“What? I’m ignoring you, you’re not required to be here,” Tim said and clicked the button on the laser pointer-slash-remote to go to the next slide. It was a rather artistic shot of what Tim was ninety percent sure was a pigeon orgy. The Merriam-Webster definition was over the picture in yellow:

polyamory noun

poly·am·ory ˌpä-lē-ˈa-mə-rē

plural polyamories

: the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time

“Like much of nature,” Tim started as the picture behind the definition rotated between different animals from cats to frogs to cows and more, “some humans and humanoids participate in polyamory. There are, in fact, alien humanoids that engage in polyamory or polygamy as the primary form of relationships. If you are interested in a more detailed look at these alien races, there are links in the third slide.”

The third slide was the Clipart of the classic ‘little green man’ head with several footnote citations to various Justice League files. So maybe they shouldn’t have all that information, but Tim didn’t have a back door into the Justice League system for nothing.

“Considering that Dick, Wally, and their new third are all human, we will be focusing on the typical and basic human configurations of polyamory.”

Damian’s hand shot up. Raising his hand was, thankfully, a rule that had been made after the fifth time someone had been stabbed.

“Yes, Damian?” Don’t sigh, Tim reminded himself.

“Animals have the need to produce a large numbers of offspring. They also do not possess the same emotional processing powers as humans,” Damian stated. “While, perhaps, multiple partners assist in both the amount of offspring, but also the dispersal of genetic make up for animals, modern humans do not share this need.”

“…correct,” Tim agreed warily.

Damian kept his hand up as he continued. “I was also under the impression that if one is to be with a romantic partner long term, that the partner should be someone that one is romantically interested in and emotionally invested in.”

“Oh, he’s adorable,” Jason cooed.

“Raise your hand or shut up,” Tim said. “Yes, that’s generally correct, though there some other forms of relationships that are not romantic. We will cover some of these shortly.”

Damian nodded as if actually satisfied. “Then why would someone want to share?”

“Cause sharing is caring,” Jason said with a snicker.

“Ignore him,” Tim said, “and we’ll turn back to the slides! There are a few different types of standard polyamorous relationships! The first we’re covering is open relationships.”

On the screen, the words ‘open relationships’ went around in a circle like a train.

“In an open relationship, a member or members of the relationship are free to date, or otherwise engage with, whomever they might want to.” Tim clicked the buttons a few times and the main circle connected to other circles, some that spun and others that did not. “These other relationships may also be open or may be closed—limited to only a select amount of people—depending on the other person. These open relationships may also have certain rules in place or be completely open depending on the agreement of those in it.”

Tim clicked over to a rather scrunched list of rule examples. Maybe Tim made it purposefully unreadable so that he didn’t have to answer Damian’s questions about sex. Maybe.

“Why?” Damian asked. He sounded so confused that Tim decided to answer even though Damian hadn’t raised his hand.

“Lots of reasons. A person may want to experiment with other gender combinations. Or they may have different or more emotional, romantic, or physical needs than one partner can support.” Tim hurriedly clicked ahead to his slide on asexual and aromantic individuals. The background was a loop of hundreds of bouncy balls. Tim had no reason for that, he’d been losing his mind by then. “Asexuality and aromanticism run on a spectrum of course, but at a basic level, asexuals do not experience sexual attraction. They may be sex favorable or sex avoidant. So, for example, they might have an open relationship with their partner, so that the partner can satisfy their sexual needs.

“An aromantic individual does not experience romantic attraction, so again we might see multiple partners to satisfy the diverse need of the aromantic themselves or their partner.”

Damian frowned and tilted his head, but stayed quiet. Interestingly, Jason was also frowning slightly.

Tim moved on hurriedly and backed up to his intended slide. “Now, by contrast a closed relationship either does not add new partners, or partners are added with the approval of all members of the relationship. As a major simplification, this can be thought of as a series of arrows or triangles.”

“Now with arrows, the agreement and negotiations are still there, but everyone can be dating different people!” Tim said. Green Arrow stared back at them from the next screen. Tim thought it was particularity fitting, knowing what he knew of Oliver Queen. “So A might be dating B and C. And B is dating A and D. D and A are not dating. They might not even really be friends. Their relationship is known as metamors.”

Damian nodded slowly.

A spinning graphic of the triforce came up on the screen next. “This can really be any shape, but a triangle keeps it simple. Basically every member in this format is involved with every other member. This is what Dick will be in, if everything goes well. Think of it like… so A and B both like C. It’s not about A sharing B or B sharing A, not really, it’s about them both also getting C! It’s more cake. Though that’s an ace saying, but, um, it’s like getting an ice cream with two scoops, yeah?”

“Sure,” Damian mumbled, a lost sounding agreement.

“And this can be lots of shapes, like I said! This is how it would look with four people: triangles in a square. The more people you have, the more complicated the relationship, agreements, and managing emotions can get, but if people are a really good group with each other and are willing to talk, it can work out!”

Damian almost tentatively raised his hand.

“Yes?”

“How would… something like that even start?” Damian asked.

“Oh, well… like, I guess think of it like a hero team just with romance? Sometimes you know people deeply enough that you trust them with your life and identity and everything else. In cases like that, it might not be odd for things to… for things to, um,” Tim trailed off, blinking up at the interconnected square.

“Drake…?” Damian prompted.

Jason started giggling.

“I, what? Sorry!” Tim said with a shake of his head. He continued in a rush as he flicked through various relationship set up examples. “But something like that! So um, those are your basic types but things can be combined and changed and altered. The main thing is to respect that someone who is in a polyamorous relationship wants to be in one. And that if you enter one, that you aren’t afraid to talk things out, make boundaries that you need, and talk through any changing boundaries!”

Tim flicked quickly to his last side.

“Oh, and, um, queer platonic relationships is sorta like aroace stuff, people in it dedicate themselves to a partner or partners even if they have no romantic or sexual feelings. It’s basically a way to say that a person is that important to them just as a person!” Tim said as he fumbled for his phone. “Anyways! The PowerPoint has been emailed to you. Direct any questions to myself or Bruce and be polite to Dick, Wally, and their new guy, okay? Okay. Gotta run.”

“That was odd, was it not?” Tim heard Damian ask Jason.

“Yeah…” Jason was still staring at the screen on queer platonic relationships when Tim glanced back. “Actually, I have to go too, okay? Doesn’t have to be your jam for you to be polite, got it?”

“What on earth has gotten into them,” Damian mumbled.

Cassie crossed her arms as soon as Tim appeared on Mount Justice. “Okay, what’s the emergency?”

“It’s, okay, so Bruce made me give this presentation to Damian because Dick and Wally added a new person to their relationship and no one want’s Damian to be an asshole—”

“Like he normally is,” Cassie muttered.

“—and ruin things before it starts, you know?”

“Please tell me it wasn’t your normal style of PowerPoints?” Kon asked.

“Of course it was,” Tim said with a dismissive wave. “But I was giving it and—just it all made sense suddenly! We are all idiots.”

“Hey!” Bart chirped. “I mean, yeah, but hey!”

“No, I mean—” Tim let out a noise of frustration and grabbed the nearest teammate, which happened to be Bart, and kissed him.

Bart made an adorable little squeak and then practically went boneless and still in a way that Tim had never seen Bart go before.

“Oh,” Kon said off to the side, sounding oddly flat. “That’s—congratulations you two.”

“Zeus, you are an idiot,” Cassie said.

Kon’s reply was muffled.

Tim pulled back, shoved the lax Bart at Cassie (who had just finished kissing Kon), and marched over to pull Kon into a quick, crushing kiss.

Kon blinked back. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” Tim said. “All of us. I want… I want all of you and for all of you to want all of you and for… and for us to be together—teammates and more in all the ways. Because I trust you all, and I never don’t want to have you.”

Tim looked from Kon, who still looked stunned, and over at Cassie who was cradling a boneless looking Bart and petting his hair. She rolled her eyes. “You’re all idiots.”

“Yeah,” Tim agreed breathlessly. “But you love us.”

“Yeah,” she agreed with a smile and a sigh. “yeah I do.”

#dc fanfic #dcu #yj core4 #dick/wally #kori/roy/jason #the connecting fic is dp x dc but Danny isn't even named here so #sorta soft #dp x dc #danny/dick/wally #thanks chesire and mimi for reading over it #I know this is a HUGE simplification of polyamory but

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literaryvein-reblogs · 1 month ago

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Some Writing Notes for your Sex Scenes

Foreplay - any sexual activity that comes before intercourse.

The purpose of foreplay is typically to pave the way for sex, but good foreplay can be enjoyable enough to be the main event.

Everyone has different preferences when it comes to foreplay—the possibilities for sexual stimulation are nearly endless.

With full consent from all participants, foreplay is an exciting way to explore your own desires, and it can often lead to a pleasurable orgasm.

Tips for Better Foreplay

There are many ways to improve your foreplay. Consider incorporating these foreplay ideas into your sex life.

Be mindful of your environment. Light some scented candles to set the mood, share a bottle of wine, or put on some sexy music and ask your partner to dance. A sensual environment makes you and your partner more comfortable to explore other forms of foreplay.

Take your time. Remain present with your partner, and savor every moment of anticipation. There’s no rush. Enjoy a long makeout session; kissing triggers the release of chemicals in your brain like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, giving you a sense of euphoria. If your clothes are still on, try dry humping. If you decide to remove your clothes, try performing a striptease or allowing your partner to help you slowly undress.

Consider roleplaying. Roleplaying can add an erotic element to your foreplay. If you’re comfortable with it, share your sexual fantasies with your partner and plan a roleplaying session. Use your imagination to build out the scenario in your mind, and perhaps pretend that you are strangers meeting for the first time. Alter your behavior to fit the role you’re playing, and enjoy experiencing a new kind of sexual encounter with your partner.

Perform a sensual massage. Find the erogenous zones on your partner’s body, then use massage oil to rub your partner with whatever intensity they prefer. You can also use feathers to tease your partner’s sensitive body parts, like their thighs, breasts, or back. As long as there is clear consent, consider running your hands down to your partner’s genitals to give their vulva or penis manual stimulation. Stroke and rub your partner with different motions and speeds. Using your lips and tongue on your partner’s erogenous zones is another great foreplay technique.

Try using sex toys. If you’re trying to shake up your foreplay routine, sex toys might do the trick. Consider using a blindfold or handcuffs to focus your partner’s awareness on every physical sensation. Vibrators are an excellent option to enhance foreplay. Move your vibrator across your partner’s body, searching for erogenous zones and focusing on areas like the nipples, scrotum, labia, and clitoris. The right sex toy can lead to exciting new foreplay techniques between you and your partner.

Communicate clearly. The key to long-term sexual satisfaction with your partner is good communication. Becoming more comfortable talking about your sexual desires will lower your inhibitions and generate more intimacy in your relationship. Consider sexting your partner when they are away or using dirty talk as a foreplay technique. Encourage your partner by telling them about the things they do that you enjoy, and ask them what they want out of foreplay. If your conversations about sex and foreplay are difficult, consider talking with a sex therapist to discuss ways of enhancing communication.

There are both psychological and physiological benefits of engaging in foreplay.

It can strengthen emotional intimacy within your long-term relationship, build your self-confidence with new sexual partners, and even reduce stress.

Foreplay also helps with sexual arousal, increasing blood flow to your genitals and preparing your body for sexual intercourse.

Oral Sex - involves stimulating your partner's genitals with your mouth.

You can perform oral stimulation using your tongue, lips, and/or throat.

Oral sex can be a form of foreplay before sexual intercourse or as the main event of a sexual experience.

There are 3 subcategories of oral sex: cunnilingus, fellatio, and analingus.

Types of Oral Sex

If you want to engage in oral sex, here are three oral sex acts to try with a partner:

Cunnilingus: Cunnilingus is an oral sex act perfomred on the vulva or vagina. During cunnilingus, the giving partner typically focuses on stimulating their partner’s clitoris, the most sensitive erogenous zone for vulva owners.

Fellatio: Fellatio, more commonly called a blow job, is an oral sex act that involves stimulating your partner’s penis with your mouth. Despite its name, a blow job doesn't actually involve blowing on the penis; rather, you perform a blow job by licking and sucking the penis.

Analingus: More commonly called a rim job or rimming, analingus is the act of orally stimulating a partner’s anus. Licking, kissing, and sucking can stimulate the sensitive nerve endings in and around the anus and rectum. With thoughtful safer sex practices and clear communication, rimming can be a pleasurable sexual activity for persons of all genders and sexual orientations.

Health Risks of Oral Sex

It is possible to contract STIs (sexually transmitted infections) through oral sex, but the risk is much lower than vaginal and anal sex. Use barrier methods and take precautions to practice safe sex:

Communicate with your partner. Talk to your partner about each other's sexual health history and STI status before engaging in oral sex.

Know the potential risks. STIs you can transmit through oral sex include Human papillomavirus (HPV), which causes genital warts; Hepatitis A, B, and C; oral herpes and genital herpes, gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Syphilis, and HIV. STIs can be asymptomatic, but possible symptoms include a sore throat and sores in or around the mouth or throat.

Use protection. For maximum STI prevention, use a condom during fellatio and a dental dam during cunnilingus and analingus.

Take precaution. The risk of STI transmission is typically higher for those giving oral sex than those receiving it. To decrease the risk while giving oral sex, avoid brushing your teeth or using dental floss right beforehand, since bleeding gums will increase exposure to any viruses.

Tips for Performing Cunnilingus

Direct clitoral stimulation can increase pleasure and lead to climax. Start performing cunniligus slowly, and keep these considerations in mind:

Know that every vulva is different. Be mindful that all vulvas (the external female genitalia including the clitoris, labia, and vaginal opening) are different. This means the smell, look, or taste of your partner's vulva may not be what you expect, and that's completely normal.

Focus on the clitoris. Direct and consistent clitoral stimulation is the key to making your partner orgasm. To locate the clitoris, look for where the two inner labia (the vaginal lips) connect at the top and form a small hood. Use your fingers to spread the labia apart. Underneath the hood is the clitoris, which looks like a tiny nub, typically slightly larger than a pea in size.

Start slow. A general rule for all sexual activities is to start slow and gradually increase the pace so that your partner has time to build up their level of arousal. Begin with slow, sensual licking. Before you target the clitoris, tease your partner and build suspense by lightly circling your tongue around the entire vulva area.

Pay attention to body language. One of the best ways to tell if you're pleasing your partner is to tune into their body language. Heavy breathing and tilting their hips closer to your mouth are good signs. If your partner isn't showing signs of pleasure, switch up your technique with a slight variation in tongue pressure, pacing, or location.

Encourage communication. Even easier than reading your partner's body language is listening to their own words. Let your partner know that you’re open to feedback, and be sure to ask questions mid-performance. Asking your partner about the pressure and speed is a great way to zero in on their pleasure.

Use your fingers or a sex toy. For enhanced stimulation, insert your fingers or a sex toy (like a vibrator or dildo) into your partner's vagina while simultaneously licking their clitoris. To massage your partner's g-spot, gently insert one or more fingers about two-inches inside the vagina and move your fingers towards you as though you're making a "come here" motion. Know that not everyone enjoys fingering during cunnilingus, so it's a good idea to discuss your partner's preferences before you give it a try.

When your partner is approaching orgasm, keep doing what you're doing. If your partner signals that they're close to climaxing, either verbally or through body language, don’t switch up your technique. Keep targeting the same spot until your partner orgasms or instructs you otherwise. (It may be okay to increase your tongue pressure or speed as your partner is approaching orgasm, but you should typically continue focusing on the same location.)

Blow Job Techniques

Experiment with these blow job techniques to find what feels best for your partner.

Use your lips to shield your teeth. If your teeth touch your partner’s penis, the sensation for them will likely be unpleasant. Wrap your lips over your teeth as a cushion as you go down on your partner.

Use your hands. For the best blow job, mix in some hand job work. Place your dominant hand around your partner's shaft, then simultaneously move your hand and mouth up and down the penis. To enhance this motion, twist your wrist back and forth as you move up and down. Make sure to use lube to prevent painful friction. Once you have the motion down, use your other hand to gently massage your partner's testicles.

Have an ejaculation plan. If you intend to bring your partner to orgasm, plan ahead so you're both prepared for ejaculation. If you prefer that your partner doesn't ejaculate in your mouth, let them know beforehand. That way, your partner can give you a verbal warning right before they orgasm, and you can switch to hand job-only mode as they climax. If you are okay with your partner climaxing in your mouth, decide whether you would rather spit or swallow. If you do choose to swallow, know that semen is perfectly safe to ingest.

Show enthusiasm. To give a good blow job, first express to your partner that you want to give them head. Try showing your enthusiasm through a little dirty talk. You can also ask your partner, "Do you like how this feels?" to show that you're invested in their pleasure and open to feedback. As you go down on your partner, look up every so often to make eye contact and indicate that you're enjoying yourself. If you’re not into giving blow jobs, be honest about that with your partner, and never feel pressured to do something you dislike. Only engage in sexual acts that you're comfortable with; if that doesn’t include blow jobs, try exploring alternate ways to please your partner.

Use your tongue to stimulate the penis head. During most of the blow job, you'll want to apply soft pressure with your tongue against the penis as you move your mouth up and down the shaft. For a pleasurable change of pace, try focusing your tongue attention on the head of the penis and the frenulum, the sensitive band of skin on the underside of the penis head. Grip the lower shaft with your hand, and use the tip of your tongue to lightly lick the top of the penis head in a slow circular motion.

Practice before trying to deep throat. Deep throating—the act of putting your partner's penis far enough into your mouth that it reaches your throat—is a turn-on for some blow job recipients, but you should only go as deep as is comfortable for you. If you want to attempt deep throating, first train your gag reflex by practicing without a partner. Start by slowly moving a toothbrush toward the back of your throat, and try to hold it there for 10 seconds. When you gag, relax, and overcome your gag reflex by taking deep breaths. Once you make it 10 seconds without gagging, move to a larger object like a dildo. Repeat the same process you’re comfortable moving the dildo back and forth in your mouth.

Stimulate your partner's other erogenous zones. The key to a great blow job is to make it a full-body experience. While your mouth pleasures the penis, simultaneously stimulate other erogenous zones on your partner's body. Try massaging their balls, licking their inner thighs, stroking their perineum, or engaging in some anal play.

Add a sex toy to the mix. Try enhancing your blow jobs with a vibrator; simply press it against your cheek or chin so the vibration passes indirectly to your partner’s penis.

How to Give Analingus

If you and your partner decide to explore rimming as a type of anal stimulation, follow this step-by-step guide to safely engage in analingus.

Talk to your partner first. If you want to try rimming, start by telling your partner why you find it sexy and why it’s something you’d like to incorporate into your sex life. Be prepared for your partner to say no. You need consent before trying any form of sexual activity with a partner, including analingus. Remember that performing or receiving a rim job does not mean that other forms of anal sex are on the table.

Clean up first. The key to safe rimming is maintaining good hygiene practices. Use the bathroom at least an hour before engaging in anal play. Before receiving a rim job, take a shower with your partner and wash your anus with warm water and mild soap. If you are still worried about cleanliness, consider using an anal douche or enema. Be careful, though—overusing douches or enemas can result in the disruption of healthy gut bacteria. If you are experiencing gas, constipation, or diarrhea, avoid receiving a rim job until your digestive system is back to normal.

Go slow. When giving a rim job, take your time with various foreplay techniques, allowing your partner to become fully aroused. Light some candles, put on sexy music, and undress slowly. When you’re turned on, your muscles relax, making it easier to enjoy anal stimulation. Try a long make-out session, then slowly kiss your way down your partner’s body.

Find the right position. There are several positions you and your partner can try for pleasurable analingus. If you are the receiving partner, consider lying on your back with your hips propped up under a pillow and your partner on their knees in front of you. You can also stand with your partner kneeling behind you. Another good rimming position to try is doggy style.

Experiment with different techniques. When performing a rim job, explore different ways to stimulate your partner’s anus. Kiss your partner’s perineum, the area between their genitals and anus. Consider using your warm breath to tease your partner. Then, relax your tongue and start with long, slow licks. Try moving your tongue in a circular motion around your partner’s anus. Be sure to communicate clearly with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. Remember that if you or your partner becomes uncomfortable at any time, you can stop rimming immediately.

Use your hands. While it is possible to experience an anal orgasm in response to anal stimulation alone, stimulating other erogenous zones on your partner’s body can create an even more powerful sensation. During analingus, consider squeezing your partner’s nipples, rubbing their clit, fingering their vagina, or stroking their penis. With the right stimulation, a rim job can add a whole new pleasurable element to you and your partner’s orgasms.

Consider sex toys. The use of vibrators or BDSM gear like handcuffs can enhance your rim job. Consider purchasing sex furniture like swings or wedge pillows to assist with difficult positions. If you are interested in solo anal play, some anal sex toys are specifically designed to stimulate the nerve endings around your anus by imitating the sensation of analingus.

Doggy Style - a sex position in which one partner is positioned on all fours.

With one partner on their hands and knees (or elbows), the other partner can stand on their knees and use their hands to hold onto their partner’s hips.

This position can be great for anal or vaginal penetration, whether with a penis, strap-on, finger, or other sex toy.

Tips for Doggy-Style Sex

Use these techniques to turn doggy style into your new favorite sex position.

Prepare for deep penetration. When it comes to penetrative vaginal or anal sex, doggy style allows for deeper penetration. For vaginal penetration, doggy style decreases the distance between the vaginal opening and the cervix, increasing the likelihood of your partner striking this often-sensitive part. If this is painful for you, try slowing the pace, reducing the depth of penetration, or adjusting the angle. You can also use a cock ring or similar toy to create a barrier, preventing the penis or toy from going too deep.

Use props. Pillows, cushions, or other props placed underneath your joints can help you relax, prevent injury, and discover the perfect position. Taking time to get set up will make the experience more enjoyable.

Add sex toys. Doggy style is a great position for using sex toys. Try penetration via strap-on, dildo, or vibrator, but don’t forget about other erogenous zones. The doggy-style position can sometimes make it harder to access your partner’s nipples or clitoris—nipple clamps and a wand-style vibrator can help.

Keep it clean. One of the advantages of doggy-style sex is that it makes the anus readily accessible. When engaging in anal play, cleanliness is especially important since bacteria from feces can pass to the genitals. To reduce the risk of infection, shower or use a bidet both before and after sex, and clean dildos and other toys after each time you use them. Condoms can also prevent sexually transmitted infections. Use a new condom each time you switch between partners or orifices—or if the condom breaks or falls off.

Try oral sex. Although doggy-style is often thought of as a penetrative sexual position, it’s actually a great position for cunnilingus and anal rimming. If you’re new to anal rimming, simply apply lube to your partner’s anus (ensure that they’ve washed first), then stimulate with your tongue.

Try downward doggy style. If you’re into yoga, try this variation on the doggy-style position. The receiving partner starts on all fours (traditional doggy style), then lifts their knees up off the ground to come into an inverted-V shape. (It’s okay to bend your knees). The giving partner can then stand to penetrate their partner with their penis, strap-on, fingers, or favorite toy.

Cowgirl Position - a sex position that consists of a penetrative partner lying flat on their back, with a receiving partner straddled atop facing them.

The receiving partner can control the pace, angle, and depth of penetration as they bounce, gyrate their hips, or otherwise customize the movement in this position.

The sex position is one of the best sex positions for those who require clitoral stimulation to climax because it allows the vulva owner to grind into their partner to stimulate their clitoris.

Couples can perform the highly customizable position in reverse, horizontally, and with sex toys.

While the term “cowgirl” is widely used to describe the position, it can also be called “cowboy,” “rider,” “cowperson,” or another variation for males or gender non-conforming individuals who ride atop their partner during intercourse.

Benefits of the Cowgirl Position

The receiving partner can be in control. Since the receiving partner is on top, they can control the speed, depth, and angle of penetration during intercourse. This control is beneficial if the receiving partner wants to tailor the stimulation to their particular desires to achieve orgasm—for instance, bouncing at a specific angle to hit an especially sensitive internal spot.

It offers more clitoral stimulation than other positions. If the receiving partner is a vulva owner, the cowgirl position can offer much more clitoral stimulation than other positions (and for many vulva owners, clitoral stimulation is the key to orgasm). To achieve this stimulation, vulva owners will grind their clitoris on their partner during cowgirl or use their fingers to stimulate their clitoris.

It’s very customizable. There are many cowgirl variations, from upright to horizontal to reverse, each offering their own targeted stimulation. Upright and reverse cowgirl stimulate the vaginal canal and g-spot, while horizontal stimulates the g-spot and clitoris. While in the cowgirl position, both partner’s hands are free to stimulate each other’s bodies. Additionally, couples can perform cowgirl variations using anal penetration for a different type of stimulation.

How to Do the Cowgirl Position

The penetrative partner lies on their back. Whether the penetrative partner is a penis owner or uses a strap-on dildo, they should begin by lying on their back with their legs straight.

The receiving partner mounts. The receiving partner then straddles the penetrative partner, upright and face-to-face with their partner.

Begin stimulation. Once in position, there are many ways to begin stimulation. The receiving partner may bounce or grind against the penetrative partner, or the receiving partner can remain still as the penetrative partner thrusts upward. Couples can perform the cowgirl position vaginally, anally, without penetration, or modify it to suit their individual needs. For example, having the top partner lean back or forward, or the bottom partner sit up or elevate their knees.

Ways to Try Cowgirl Position

Go horizontal. While the most traditional form of cowgirl has the person on top riding upright on their partner, asking the receiving partner to lean down so that they’re close to, or resting on, their partner’s chest can provide additional pleasure. If the receiving partner is a vulva owner, this is also a great way to increase g-spot stimulation during penetration.

Sit up. Instead of lying down, have the penetrative partner sit up during cowgirl, so both partners’ bodies are upright. This angle makes it easier for the penetrative partner to stimulate the receiving partner’s body with their mouth—from lips to neck to chest—and can feel especially intimate, like an embrace.

Try a squatting position. The most common cowgirl position is when the receiving partner is on their knees while straddling their partner, which is usually most comfortable for the receiving partner. However, if the receiving partner is flexible, they can squat over the penetrative partner with their feet on the bed, allowing for extra power and muscle control while bouncing.

Try reverse cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl is a variation in which the top partner faces the penetrative partner’s legs away while bouncing. Depending on the penis or toy’s curvature, they can stimulate different areas inside the top partner—for vulva owners, the g-spot, and for penis owners, the prostate. Reverse cowgirl can also offer a less-stressful position for partners who might feel slightly self-conscious or not interested in being face-to-face with the other during sex.

Introduce toys. Couples vibrators and cock rings are great hands-free ways to increase stimulation during cowgirl. It’s also easy to introduce some light bondage by tying the penetrative partner’s wrists or ankles to the bed, giving even more control to the person on top. Pillows are also a great tool: a pillow under the penetrative partner’s glutes will help elevate the penis or toy for deeper penetration, while pillows under the receiving partner’s knees will give them extra control of penetration depth.

Reverse Cowgirl - a sex position that involves one partner lying face-up as the other partner straddles them while facing away from them.

The person lying down can penetrate their partner’s vagina or anus with their penis or a strap-on or other sex toy, and the partner who is on top can grind on their partner or use their fingers or a toy to stimulate themselves and/or their partner.

The name “reverse cowgirl” refers to another popular sex position, cowgirl, which is basically the same thing, but with both partners facing each other.

How to Get Into Reverse Cowgirl Position

If you’re the one lying down, position yourself comfortably on the bed, propping your head up with pillows.

You can also sit up against a wall or headboard.

Since you won’t be able to move much in this position, make sure you have everything you need close at hand, such as lube, toys, or condoms.

You can use your hands to help your partner get into position.

If you’re the one sitting up, straddle your partner’s hips, with your knees on either side of their thighs.

Shift backward and forward until you and your partner feel comfortable, then lower yourself down onto your partner.

You can rest your bodyweight on your partner or hover above them using your knees for support.

Tips for Sex in Reverse Cowgirl Position

Begin slowly. As with any new position, it’s important to start slowly to avoid injury and ensure everyone is comfortable—especially if penetration is involved.

Have one partner set the rhythm. This position works best if one partner sets the pace. The partner on top is in a superior position to control the depth of penetration or the rhythm of grinding. Once you’re both feeling comfortable, the lying-down partner can take a more active role, placing their hands on their partner’s hips or using their fingers to stimulate their partner.

Try a seated variation. In this variation, instead of lying down, one partner sits on the edge of the bed, on a chair, or against a wall, and the other partner sits on their lap facing forward. You can also start out seated, then move into full reverse cowgirl.

Look over your shoulder. Not being able to see your partner’s face during sex can feel sexy and mysterious, but sometimes you just want to look them in the eyes. Turn your head over your shoulder or lean back to take a peek at your partner.

Use sex toys. Reverse cowgirl is a great position for penetration, so it’s an good choice for strap-on sex. Since this position leaves your hands free, it also provides an opportunity to play with other toys, such as a bullet vibrator.

Sex Swing - (also called a love swing or sex sling) a harness that suspends one person in the air during sexual intercourse.

In addition to helping couples execute sex positions that would be otherwise challenging, a sex swing can make sex more exhilarating and effortless.

You can use a sex swing for oral, vaginal, and anal sex.

Sex swings reduce the strain on muscles and joints and can help those with certain physical impairments participate in a larger array of sexual activities.

For those interested in BDSM, sex swings can be used as bondage furniture.

Types of Sex Swings

Conventional sex swing: The standard sex swing typically features stirrups, a seat, and two main straps that support the swing. It may also have a headrest or handles. You can install a sex swing with hooks attached to the ceiling or on either side of a hallway, depending on the specific model. You can also hang most conventional sex swings from a sex swing stand.

Door sex swing: This type of swing attaches over a door frame and is simple to install. A door sex swing is a great option for your first sex swing becuase of its low price point and easy installation, but its location does limit the range of motion and available sex positions.

Sex slings: Similar to a hammock, sex slings have a large seat designed to support the entire body. They're available in a range of materials, including fabric, leather, and wood. Sex slings may have a limited range of positions compared to conventional sex swings.

Body sex swings: A body sex swing is a wearable harness that attaches to another person as opposed to a ceiling, wall, or a sex swing stand. The person wearing the body sex swing must be standing while their partner is strapped into the swing.

Spinning sex swing: This type of swing is capable of spinning 360 degrees in either direction.

Tips for Using a Sex Swing

Adding a sex swing to your sex life takes practice. When purchasing, installing, and using a sex swing, consider these tips.

Start with a basic door sex swing. If it's your first time using a sex swing, make sure it's an activity you enjoy before you invest in a full setup. Door sex swings are more accessible for beginners and relatively easy to install.

Follow the installation instructions carefully. It's crucial that you pay close attention to the assembly and installation instructions to ensure that your sex swing is safe to use. If you install a swing incorrectly, you risk injuring yourself and your partner. If mounting a swing to your wall or ceiling is outside of your abilities, consider using a door sex swing or a free-standing sex swing on a stand.

Communicate clearly when using a sex swing. It's essential that you and your partner have an open chain of communication to ensure the swinger is comfortable and enjoying themselves.

Use your momentum. Whether the standing partner is using their penis or a strap-on dildo, they can use the momentum of the partner on the swing to achieve deeper penetration and more intense sex.

Relax. If you're the swinger, release any tension in your body, and let your partner take control.

Sex Swing Positions

Adding a sex swing to your collection of sex toys will open up possibilities for new positions. You can use a sex swing for solo masturbation, but consider these positions to try with your partner:

Swinging missionary: The swinging partner rests on their back with both feet in the swing's leg straps as the penetrating partner stands between the swinger's legs.

Hanging doggy style: The swinging partner leans forward onto the swing so it supports them at their waist and places their hands into the straps for support. As with traditional doggy style, the other partner penetrates the swinger from behind, holding the swinger's hips up so their legs are suspended in the air.

Swinging cowgirl: This position is similar to the standard cowgirl position—but suspended in the air. This position requires the penetrating partner to sit back into the swing as their partner climbs on top and straddles them. The partner on top can either keep their feet on the ground or lift them up so both partners are suspended. For a slightly different position, the partner on top can face the other direction for swinging reverse cowgirl.

Supportive lap dance: This position requires both partners to keep their feet on the ground. One partner sits down with the swing's seat resting against their upper thighs, while the standing partner holds onto the swing's straps and penetrates the swinger from behind.

Floating oral sex: One partner lies back in the swing while the other kneels on the ground in front of them and performs oral sex. The kneeling partner can use their hands to caress and stimulate areas of the swinger's body that might be inaccessible without a swing.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ⚜ More: Notes ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

#requested #love #relationship #character development #writing notes #writeblr #literature #writing inspiration #character building #writing ideas #light academia #writers on tumblr #writing reference #spilled ink #dark academia #writing prompt #creative writing #max liebermann #writing resources

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creature-wizard · 11 months ago

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Continuing on the topic of connection being not a feeling, but a rather a set of circumstances in which you are engaging and participating, I think a lot of people out there just don't realize how dangerous the way many of us have been taught to think of feelings in relation to spirituality really is.

Like Zan pointed out, Evangelical Christians are taught that positive emotions are actually the Lord moving through them, rather than their own personal reactions to their experiences. Meanwhile, Evangelical church services are deliberately engineered to elicit these kinds of of feelings in people. It's pure emotional manipulation.

Similar ideas are found in New Age spirituality, where "spiritual discernment" is frequently boiled down to "does it make me feel good or not?" People are taught to evaluate politically charged information based on whether it, for lack of a better term, sparks joy. Now, determining whether or not something sparks joy is a wonderful way to decide whether you want to keep your old tea kettle, but here we're talking about information that people will base crucial personal and political choices on.

Meanwhile, New Age influencers do everything they can to make sure they're sparking joy for you. Let's take Paul White Gold Eagle, for example. His videos are constantly talking about things that sound exciting, like messages from archangels, dragons of light, and emerald transmissions. This type of baiting - joybaiting, I'll call it - is meant to hook you emotionally and make you think that this has to be true because it elicits that oooough, shiny reaction. Next thing you know, you've been joybaited into falling down the conspirituality pipeline and you believe some version of QAnon's conspiracy theories.

This kind of thinking is even dangerous in pagan circles. You find yourself thinking about a thing and noticing a lot? You feel an intense pull to study it? You'll find people out there telling you that you have a spiritual connection to it, like, maybe you were part of it in a past life. And maybe you go and get a past life reading, or even undergo hypnosis. And now you, the whitest gal in the surburb with zero familial connections to any Native people, feel entitled to appropriate some form of Native spirituality because you felt fascination with it, or what you thought it was, and now you're contributing to white sage decimation and spreading around some sort of Native-flavored form of neopaganism as if it's actual Native spirituality.

Or maybe you fall in with a neopagan cult leader who uses your fascination to convince you that you knew each other in a past life, and you were led to them in this life so you could continue some important work in this life, and they pull you completely into their bullshit.

Finally, it's dangerous because it encourages stalkers. A lot of stalkers are people with incredibly powerful fixations on others. These types of beliefs get them convinced that their victims are actually their soulmates or twin flames or whathaveyou, and make them feel justified in engaging in stalking behavior.

All of this is why it's important to recognize that connection is a circumstance, not a feeling. Your feelings are utterly irrelevant to whether you are actually connected. What most people take for "feeling connected" is literally just fascination or fixation, maybe reinforced by the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. Real connection is something you cultivate and build, and it does not exist outside of your actual, physical engagement and participation.

#connection #nature #witchcraft #witchblr #pagan #paganblr #connection is not a feeling #spirituality #animism

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etz-ashashiyot · 1 year ago

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All trolling and drive-by harassment aside, I do want to elaborate on the statement that the people harassing random Jews over Israel (and for that matter, the right-wingers harassing random Palestinians or Arabs over Hamas) absolutely do have a part in making this war worse and do need to take responsibility for it. (Will they? No. But those of us on the side of rationality, humanity, and peace need to hold them accountable.)

Here's the thing: when you pump out misinformation, disinformation, harass people who are not at the levers of control, deny proven atrocities, leverage people's cultural trauma against them, and/or gaslight them about any such behavior, you are actively participating in polarizing these communities against each other, when really we have a lot more in common than anyone seems to want to recognize.

Any legitimate peace process is going to be messy, requires nuance, a lot of grace, and overall is going to hinge on a lot of deeply traumatized and radicalized people letting go of and forgiving things no one should ever be asked to forgive. The more you polarize our communities, the more hatred you sow, the more you encourage and inflame outlandish maximalist ideas that are likely impossible and would require mass atrocities to accomplish in any event, the harder you make an already extremely difficult and delicate conversation.

And while I can't speak for anyone else, sowing hatred of Jews throughout the diaspora absolutely leads to people attacking us. Multiple people have already died because of this rampant, unchecked antisemitism. It is literally killing us.

So yes, if you engage in these behaviors, you do have blood on your hands.

#המצב™️#i/p #jumblr #watch me get hate mail over this #but I'm right #and more you hate this post the more likely it is that it's about you

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spanishsongs · 1 year ago

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There's been a lot of support for organisations like Standing Together, B'Tselem, etc.... But this won't be solved by just Israeli organisations. The sister side of this is combating antisemitism, and here are some Arab and Muslim organisations that are doing just that, so please consider supporting them as well.

The Council of Muslims Against Antisemitism - https://stopglobalantisemitism.com/

Muslims from across the political spectrum dedicated to fighting antisemitism. Officially endorses the IHRA definition of antisemitism, and have been raising awareness of the sexual violence committed by Hamas.

American Muslim and Multifaith Women's Empowerment Council - https://ammwec.org/

Empowering Muslim women on the frontlines, their goal is to get more Muslim women involved in all facets of political life, and they worked with the Obama administration on counter-radicalization efforts.

Builders of the Middle East - https://linktr.ee/buildersofmideast

Social media initiative dedicated to promote anti-extremism, and to building a more tolerant, stable and hopeful Middle East. Funders come from across the political spectrum include Israelis and Jews, Palestinians and Muslims.

Sharaka - https://www.sharakango.com/

An NGO dedicated to young leaders in the Middle East to encourage people-to-people engagement. Includes Israelis, Arabs, Jews, Muslims, Christians and Druze.

Sharaka has an entire program to dedicated to Holocaust education, and their members were participants in the first ever official delegation of Arabs and Muslims to participate in the March of the Living.

#fighting antisemitism #muslim jewish solidarity #antisemitism #peace is coming to the middle east #either help us or get out of the way

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heirofnight · 10 months ago

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meddling, pt. 4

pairing: azriel x reader

word count: 4.6k - we have a lot of ground to cover with this one

summary: reader accompanies azriel to an event at the house of wind that rhys is hosting for the summer court. fluff, angst, and jealous (borderline murderous) azriel ensue.

also based around this request: would you consider writing a protective/jealous azriel? like maybe someone is getting a little too comfortable with his mate lol

a/n: so sorry for all of the slow-burn pining that has taken place thus far. i think you'll find that this part will make up for that. as always, pls leave feedback! hope you love it <3

read parts one, two, and three

rhysand was hosting a courtly event at the house of wind this evening. you weren't quite sure of the political details regarding the whole thing, but you'd deduced that tarquin would be visiting from the summer court after hearing various brief conversations that cropped up during meals.

such as the one that took place during dinner at the town house the night before.

"so, rhys, what exactly is the nature of this party we're hosting for summer?", cassian had asked, shoveling a spoonful of roasted vegetables into his mouth mid-sentence. a few droplets of the lemon & herb sauce had escaped his spoon, splattering against his bearded chin. you'd smiled at the sight, azriel hiding his own huff of laughter behind the rim of his wine glass.

rhys leveled his brother with a blank stare, shaking his head in mock disappointment at cassian's less than stellar table manners.

"it is not a party, cass," rhys drawled, sounding bored. "tarquin is visiting to discuss a few matters regarding the new treaty. however," rhys paused, taking his own sip of wine, "he's also bringing varian and cresseida," another pause, "and i believe - fifty others from his court," rhys finished, pushing his fingers into his temples.

cassian snorted, raising a dark eyebrow, "so - a party," he smirked, resting his elbows on the dark wooden table before him. "i propose we break out the expensive booze for the occasion," cass stated, attempting to use his most noble voice.

you met azriel's amused gaze from across the table, a dimpled smile spreading across his cheeks once you'd both locked eyes.

he shook his head in feigned exasperation at cassian's antics, and you'd nudged the toe of his boot with your own under the table, huffing a laugh.

"cassian, you will be on your best behavior," rhys stated, pointing a lithe finger in the war general's direction. "you're already on thin ice with summer - we need not encourage them to send more blood rubies our way," the high lord exhaled, stabbing a fork into his piece of roast.

you'd cleared your throat then, sitting up a bit straighter in your chair.

"am i allowed to join?", you'd asked. every head at the table lifted to look at you, surprised expressions on their faces. as comfortable as you'd become around the family, you still really only engaged with azriel on a consistent basis. and, as isolated as you'd been during your first few months residing at the house, no one truly expected you to willingly participate in this not-party.

your eyes darted from rhys' pleased expression over to azriel's honeyed gaze. he peered at you tenderly, with eyes that looked like hazel pools of pride.

he was, indeed, proud. proud that you'd spoken up, proud that you'd asked to join the rest of them for a gathering that would have otherwise made you feel the need to hide yourself away in your rooms only a few months ago.

"of course you can, sweet y/n," rhys said, voice oozing delight and charm.

your smile threatened to split your face in half, and you found azriel's eyes again. he nodded once, encouragingly. his own smile grew marginally, a dimple peeking through.

he tried his best to hide his budding fondness towards you around the rest of his family - especially cassian. his brother would never let him hear the end of it, otherwise. such busybodies, all of them. azriel was terrified of his family's meddling tendencies potentially spooking you in the opposite direction.

but, even with all of that being said, azriel couldn't help the words that spilled from his lips before he could stop them:

"uh -," he set his wine glass down gently - holding the stem between his fingers, swirling the liquid once, "you can accompany me, if you'd like to. if that would make you more comfortable," he said confidently, voice unwavering.

if his family had to witness him asking you to be his plus one to a formal party, the least he could do was sound like he wasn't nervous to do so. but, he was. he was very nervous.

however, the butterflies in his chest threatening to rip through his skin and flurry throughout the room only thrashed harder when he watched the way your eyes lit up at the offer.

your gaze flit around quickly, surveying everyone else's expressions - you were met with soft smiles as the family silently watched the sweet exchange. and then there was cassian, sporting a smug smirk as he pushed the food around on his plate.

you looked back to azriel, his expression soft, his fingers tapping quietly at the base of his wine glass.

"i would love to, az," you said graciously, and you sent another nudge to the toe of his boot with your own foot under the table - a 'thank you' said in a language that only the both of you spoke.

now, tonight, you were preparing for said event - having no idea what to expect. what you did know, though, was that you were attending it with azriel. a fact that definitely added a bit of pressure to the evening.

you knew that az would be a perfect gentleman, as he had been since you'd met him nearly eight months ago. but, you were developing very loud feelings for him - feelings that you were unable to shrink and contain in a quiet corner within your heart and mind any longer. they were boiling over, pushing and shoving to make themselves known.

and, honestly, if he didn't reciprocate those feelings, you weren't sure how you'd recover. this was not just some juvenile crush - azriel had helped mend together the pieces of you that were left jagged and splintered upon arriving in velaris. after your past, after the shattering pain you'd become used to, azriel had taken gentle hands and sanded away your abrasive edges.

you took a deep breath, studying your appearance in the floor-length mirror that was propped against your armoire. nuala and cerridwen had assisted you in getting ready for tonight, and honestly, you almost didn't recognize yourself.

your hair was set in long, elegant, loose curls down your back - the skin there exposed due to the gown you'd chosen. a black, silk, floor-length number that appeared as though tiny stars had been woven throughout the fabric. your makeup was beautiful - glowy and fresh. you looked happy. you looked like you belonged.

you were stunning, and you'd hoped your chosen ensemble would turn the head of the one male you couldn't stop thinking about.

little did you know, azriel hadn't been able to turn away from you since you'd arrived.

it was now half-past-seven, and you knew az would be knocking on your door soon to escort you downstairs for the party.

azriel shut his own bedroom door, waiting for the quiet click of the latch before descending down the hall to your chambers. he tugged on the left sleeve of his suit jacket, worrying over the fit of the formal clothing he'd chosen for the evening.

he stopped in front of your door, and opted to readjust his silver chain - a beautiful gift you'd given him only a month prior - to assure it laid correctly, before knocking. his wings twitched in anticipation, and he really hoped he wasn't over-dressed. he glanced down at his black dress shoes, his black slacks. he frowned, slipping a hand into his pocket to fidget with truth-teller nervously.

before his thoughts became too loud, too stifling, he heard your doorknob turn from the opposite side of the threshold.

and there you stood, in a dress that very well may have been sewn and stitched with the sole intention to bring him to his knees in front of you.

that, paired with your innocent eyes peering right up at him had azriel malfunctioning.

his mouth opened and closed several times as he took you in. open. close. open - you thought he may finally say something, but, alas, he closed it again.

while his mind was spinning, thrashing, screaming, his shadows had gone eerily still.

cauldron... boil me, was the only clear thought that he was able to translate from within the absolute stirring storm that was happening internally.

should he bow? he felt the overwhelming urge to drop to his knees and worship you like you had created him with your own hands.

speak, you fool, he commanded himself, realizing that the silence had stretched on for far too long.

"you-", he forced out, swallowing hard. "i am very lucky to have you on my arm this evening," he spoke, taking all of you in once more. you'd placed a dainty gold necklace around your neck, one that trailed right between your cleavage and down the front of your dress. azriel took that detail in now, his fingers twitching at the sight of it.

and you, well. you were struggling to keep your own composure from where you stood. this male in a suit was absolutely devastating. a suit that hugged his tall, muscular form so well, you'd wanted to personally thank the individual who tailored it.

the chain. your eyes snagged on the chain almost immediately. it sat against his bare clavicle, and that's when you'd realized that his chest was showing completely. he'd left the top three buttons of his black, silk dress shirt undone. his tan skin, marked with swirling illyrian ink, showing, and a chain?

you'd really hoped that cassian had convinced rhys to serve the expensive booze tonight. you were going to need it.

the party was progressing along, and after a few glasses of lavish wine, you'd felt loose enough to unabashedly enjoy yourself. azriel was doting, attentive. he'd provide you with a refilled glass every now and then without you even having to ask. he'd paraded you throughout the busy space with a chaste hand on your lower back - your exposed lower back. the feeling of his silver rings against your bare skin sent a bolt of lightening up your spine each time he guided you throughout the room. he'd gently check on you every now and then, asking how you were feeling, if you felt okay, if you needed anything.

and as the night further progressed, and more drinks were had, you found yourself leaning into his strong frame as you both mingled with various partygoers.

azriel had loosened up quite a bit himself - his own drinks allowing him to open up a bit more than usual. wide smiles were being thrown your way more frequently now, and his affectionate hands had found your body on several occasions as if they were acting on instinct.

he leaned into your ear, making sure his next words were only for you.

"you are stunning," he'd said in a gravelly voice, a single wing wrapping around your back as he spoke. he pulled back to take a sip of his drink, his eyes never leaving yours in the process.

you'd blushed, face on fire. but, the alcohol had made you a bit bolder than normal, so you unabashedly placed a hand on his bare chest as you took your turn leaning into him.

"i was hoping you'd think so," you said, your voice smooth as the silk you were wearing. your eyes traveled along the expanse of his face. his long lashes, freckled nose, full lips. your gaze landed on that damned chain once again, and you trailed your tongue across your lips subconsciously.

azriel tracked the movement, his breath hitching at the sight of you. the wing wrapped around your back tugged you in a bit closer to his body, and you stumbled slightly in your heels before pressing your shoulder into his.

"i always think so," he whispered, matter-of-fact.

you paused with your wine glass halfway to your mouth, locking your clouded gaze with his own molten-honey eyes.

he stared back, unblinking. he felt as though his chest was going to cave in. you were ruining him in the best way possible. his slightly drunk mind was swimming in thoughts of you, and he did not care if he drowned right where he stood.

just then, a tendril of shadow darted to the shell of azriel's ear, whispering something that only he could hear. you watched his expression drop momentarily, his shoulders slumping slightly.

"i'll be right back, okay? rhys, he-," he started, huffing out an exhale. "just, i'll be right back," he swallowed, downing the rest of his glass in one go. he was clearly disappointed in the interruption of your intimate moment, a moment that really seemed like it may have ended with his lips on yours.

he went to turn around, his wings tucking in tight to his back in preparation of having to push through a crowd of people. he reached an arm back behind him, wrapping a scarred hand around your wrist. peering over his broad shoulder, he met your eyes.

"will you be okay?," he paused, searching your features for any sign of discomfort at the prospect of being left alone.

you smiled, nodding once, "i'll be at the refreshments table - i need a refill," you offered, nodding your chin towards the large, extravagant spread at the other end of the room.

he nodded, offering you a dimpled smile.

"i won't be long, promise," he said, squeezing your wrist gently in a reassuring gesture.

you watched as he disappeared into the crowd, only the apex of his wings peeking over the heads of party-goers.

you loosed out a breath, making your own trek to the opposite end of the room with the sole purpose of refilling your glass.

you stood next to the exorbitant spread of food and drinks placed around the massive refreshments table, taking everything in with your back to the crowd. you were lost in thought about how much effort rhys put into this entire evening, how detail-oriented he was in his planning, when you felt a warm hand on your bare shoulder.

a hand that you knew was not azriel's.

you peered over your shoulder hesitantly, immediately feeling nerves flood your chest and stomach. you knew almost no one here tonight, aside from azriel and the inner circle - the amount of guests from summer out-populated your small group in excess.

and sure enough, your eyes met those of a summer court male, his orbs twinkling as he took in your appearance appreciatively. he made no effort to hide the way that his gaze raked over your form from head-to-toe, his eyes traveling all the way down to your heeled feet before they snapped back up to your face.

"well," he crooned, "i knew rhys hid away the good liquor, but i had no idea that he was in favor of hiding beautiful females, too," he purred, stepping a fraction closer to you. you turned to face him completely now, arms crossing over your chest to hide yourself from his wondering eyes.

"what's your name?," he continued, pausing to sip his drink, "and more importantly, where have you been?", his eyes sparkled, pure male confidence oozing from every pore on his body.

you opened your mouth, eyes flitting around the room to plot a potential escape route. you were not comfortable. not at all.

az, please come back, come back, come back, you chanted silently, your eyes dancing around the room quickly in hopes of spotting the tips of his wings amongst the large crowd. he knew that you'd be here - in this general area. surely, he'd come straight here to find you. right?

the male before you tutted quietly, grasping your chin with his thumb and pointer fingers to turn your head back towards him, wanting your full attention. he was also wearing rings, but his jewelry didn't have the same gut-twisting affect on you as azriel's had. no, your gut twisted now for a completely different reason.

"eyes on me, little one," he cooed, brushing a strand of hair from your face. you bristled, internally recoiling at his touch, at the term of endearment he'd bestowed on you.

the summer male's hand went to your shoulder, his fingers grazing the skin as they traveled down your bare arm.

"be careful," you heard a familiar voice snarl from beside you. his tone was cold, rough, and left no room for discussion.

azriel.

the male before you dropped your gaze immediately, standing up straighter in az's newfound presence. he dropped his hand back to his side, his fingers twitching as he stepped back from you - curiously eyeing azriel instead.

"ah, the shadowsinger," the man said, attempting to sound far more confident and at-ease than he obviously was. "to what do i owe the pleasure?," the summer male continued, swishing the wine around in his glass.

you didn't miss the way his eyes flashed with unease, and you almost let a smirk form at the sight. you glanced over at azriel, his shadows now swirling around him in agitation. his honey eyes, normally flooded with so much soft, affectionate warmth when settled on you, were now hard, narrowed, and full of ice. this was the feared shadowsinger of the night court - a side of him you had yet to see.

"you'd be wise to walk away," azriel started, his voice sharp. his hand found your lower back, much like it had the entire evening. except this time, it felt claiming, possessive. the cold metal of his rings were a nice reprieve from how warm your skin had become due to this entire interaction.

the male faltered for a moment, but he tried his best to glom onto the last fragment of dignity he had left. "now, now, azriel. there's no need to cause a scene over a female," he spat the word as if he were disgusted by it, and you felt azriel's hand twitch against your skin.

"i've caused a scene for far less," azriel deadpanned, voice lathered in irritation, "and mind how you address her," he continued, "i'd love nothing more than to personally deliver the hand that you used to touch her right back to tarquin's front gates," azriel's deep voice was death personified, and the summer male before you was smart to heed the warning. he exhaled a clipped breath before turning on his heel - striding away into the crowd and out of sight.

azriel let a low growl rumble deep within his chest as he kept his eyes locked on the retreating male, his eyes narrowed. he only allowed his gaze to find yours once he was sure you were both safe from his lingering presence.

you turned your body toward his, azriel's hand still splayed across your lower back. you had no idea what to say, where to start. there were too many emotions to sort through, too many feelings to give names to - and the liquor circulating through your veins wasn't helping, either.

he watched your expression carefully, his eyes softening - the way they always did once he'd sought you out. he rubbed your lower back affectionately, his pointer finger tracing small shapes across your skin.

"sorry," he finally muttered, his eyes searching your own, trying to gauge how you were feeling. he'd never wanted you to see that side of him - that cruel side of him that was able to inflict unimaginable pain and suffering onto the unfortunate soul at the other end of his blade. he didn't want you to run in the opposite direction, although he wouldn't blame you if you did.

after all, as someone who was so used to being shrouded by darkness and shadows, he'd come to believe that he didn't deserve to sunbathe in the light. and that's what you were - a blinding, all-compassing, warm beam of radiance.

his reaction to the summer male was instinctual, second-nature. and that particular reaction was azriel grasping onto every ounce of restraint that he could muster. his knee-jerk urge involved putting the knife in his pocket to good use.

"sorry?," you questioned, brows furrowing. "azriel, for what?", you continued, stepping closer to him, every instinct in your body compelling you to comfort him, to smooth out the concerned lines that had formed between his brows. to wash away the ashamed look that was threatening to flood his amber eyes.

"that-," he sighed, clearing his throat, "i shouldn't have acted that way," he finished, reaching up to absentmindedly run his fingertips across the chain that hung around his neck.

you tilted your head to the side curiously, "i'm glad that you did," you confided, "he made me horribly uncomfortable," and azriel bristled once more at the notion, at the idea of another male intruding on your personal space - going as far as to touch you.

his nostrils flared, and you offered him a comforting smile, wanting so badly to calm him down. you tipped your chin towards the outdoor balcony, resting a hand on his upper arm.

"i'm in the mood for some fresh air," you spoke, stepping around the side of his body to begin leading the way to the large glass doors that led outside. "join me?", you met his gaze hopefully, and azriel wondered if you knew that he would never say no to anything that you asked of him.

he nodded once, his hand still firmly splayed across your lower back. he followed you through the crowd and took his place beside you once more as you approached the balcony railing.

you stayed silent, peering up at the twinkling stars that blanketed the night sky. azriel glanced over at you, both of his hands now taking purchase on the railing.

your mirrored his actions, resting your own hands next to his as you leaned over slightly to take in the sight of velaris below - mesmerized by the smoking chimneys, the bright lights of the rainbow, and the sidra that flowed amongst it all.

"so beautiful," you whispered to yourself, awestruck by the picturesque view spread out before the two of you. it was so extravagant, a living, breathing work of art.

azriel swallowed, his eyes boring into the side of your face. he nodded once, "beautiful," he agreed on a breath, but he wasn't referring to the same view that you were.

the starlit sky perfectly matched the dress that looked as though it was poured over your body, and azriel didn't have much composure nor restraint left in him. not after the last few months, not after he'd seen you in his clothing, not after the affectionate glances and nervous touches shared between the both of you in a room full of others that had no clue, not after sitting across from you for dinner each night - where he'd started looking forward to your little foot nudging his own beneath the table, and not when another male had just tried to sweep you away from him.

his wings flared momentarily, the action allowing him to release some tension before they settled proudly against his back once again.

he stared at you for a moment longer, before touching that chain around his neck one last time - grounding him, giving him courage.

"y/n," he whispered, his large right hand lifting from the railing momentarily - before gently placing it right on top of your much smaller, softer one.

you looked over at him then, expectantly. you were so beautiful. so soft, so elegant, so perfect.

"i'm going to kiss you. do you think that would be alright?", he asked on softly, taking a deep breath of crisp evening air.

your eyes widened, and you blinked. your cheeks turned the sweetest shade of pink as your processed his question.

you felt frozen - of course that would be alright. you'd daydreamed about this moment for months. how his lips would feel, taste, how they'd move. would he be rough, gentle, would he use his tongue to explore your mouth? where would his hands go, where would your hands go? what if you were bad at-

just kiss him already, you scolded yourself, and before you could allow your nerves to take over, you nodded eagerly, a bashful smile creeping across your rosy features.

azriel exhaled a breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding, had almost convinced himself that he'd been rejected. he wouldn't have been wholly surprised, but still - it would have been agonizing all the same.

he stepped closer to you, his gentle fingers splaying across the left side of your jaw. as he angled your face upwards towards his, he allowed his thumb to caress the skin of your cheek, smiling at the warmth he felt from your perpetual blush.

"i've been thinking about this for so long," he whispered, ghosting his lips across your own. he shuddered at the feeling, the contact.

finally, he thought to himself.

you nodded, placing a hand on his bare chest.

"me too," you whispered back, nuzzling the tip of your nose against his. his other hand gripped your waist at the action, squeezing once.

and upon hearing your reciprocated want, azriel surged forward, his lips finding yours immediately, as if he'd done this for centuries. it wasn't rough, but it definitely wasn't gentle. you could feel months of repressed want flowing through the both of you, clashing where your lips met. exploding into fireworks and stars, creating vibrant new galaxies at the contact.

he squeezed your waist once more, feeling the fabric of your dress between his fingers. a soft groan trickled up his throat and directly into your mouth, and you almost burst into flames at the sound.

your hand slowly slid upward, caressing the bare skin of his chest before gripping his chain into your fist. and of course, this sent thoughts that were far from innocent cascading into azriel's muddled brain. he pulled back from the kiss, only a fraction, and his knees almost buckled beneath him when you chased his swollen lips with your own.

he leaned into you, pulling at your bottom lip with his teeth gently, and you let out a reactive whimper at the feeling. his head was swimming, and as much as azriel prided himself on being a gentleman, you were eliciting feelings that were too overwhelming, too much. his instincts were screaming at him to lie you down, spread you across his mattress, really show you how much you made him feel.

he pulled you against him, his wings wrapping around the both of you - to shield you from sight, to keep you warm, to bring you closer.

his lips met yours again, and his hands traveled from your waist, back up to your jaw, holding your face between his hands as if he were granted the honor of holding the most precious jewel ever discovered.

he supposed, in that moment, he was.

finally, he pulled away, placing a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose. he brushed loose strands of your hair behind your ears, smiling fondly at you.

"gods," he whispered, catching his breath. "you are such a dream," he finished, taking all of you in hungrily. he would never be satiated enough, not now that he's finally tasted you.

you sucked your lower lip into your mouth, still tasting him there, and his pupils dilated at the action.

smiling, you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck, playing with the clasp of his chain, "speaking of dreams," you mused, "i've been dreaming of this for a very, very long time," you smiled, playing with the cluster of curls at the nape of his neck.

"well, i hope i didn't disappoint," he teased, his hands finding your waist once more, fingertips grazing the exposed skin of your back.

you huffed out a laugh, resting your forehead against his bare chest, "you know," you started, tone laced with mock contemplation, "i wasn't able to really tell," you glanced up at him with a smirk.

azriel cocked an eyebrow, smirking down at you knowingly.

"i think we should try again, just to be sure," you quipped.

azriel laughed, a beautiful, melodic sound.

you didn't have to tell him twice.

a/n: FINALLY. i've heard all of your pleas, ok. here is the long awaited KISS <3 i hope i did it justice. pls leave feedback! this took me so long to execute properly, and i truly hope you loved it. my heart is a puddle on the floor !!!

tag list: @stressed-reader @vhjlucky13 @scarsandallaz @victory-salads @weirdo-fun @topaz125 @mrsjna @lovegoodlunaa @lilah-asteria @andreperez11 @luna9876 @kennedy-brooke @coolepowersthings @saltedcoffeescotch @99sunflower99 @nikt-wazny-y @rose-girls-world @mariacbzs @jesskidding3

#acotar #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel fic #azriel fluff #azriel imagine #azriel x you #azriel fanfic

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