#I AM CRYING I AM IM SHAMBLES I AM NOT OKAY

[moonchild-in-blue]

EVERYBODY SHUT UP. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PICTURE EVER 😭💙😭💙😭

[shyrule]

i’m going to be so real with you when i say that my recent insomnia ‘flare’ has fucked me up tremendously like my heart is fucking fluttering and my head is now killing me n im weak as fuck n shake when i stand too long inhavent slept more than like 45 minute scraps in tthe past 3 days

[lunerna21]

***I meant to do a post for Chapter 1 of Book 7 earlier but it’s been super chaotic with the holidays 😭***

***Slightly longer post but I just want to get my feelings out lol***

BUT I do wanna vent about specific parts of this chapter cause I’m constantly on edge waiting for the release of Chapter 2 (even though I’ll be crying and hyperventilating throughout the next chapter)

First of all, let me start off with how much I love seeing Sebek have a bitch fit from us calling Malleus Tsunotaro

Like dude basically had an aneurysm and tantrum over it and I fucking love his reaction 😭

(Also totally not loving the attention from Malleus in the very beginning of the chapter 🙈)

Being such a huge fan of Sleeping Beauty I’m thriving on the focus of it for this Book and I can’t wait to see where it takes us ❤️

BUT BUT There were two parts that had me almost to the point of losing my goddamn mind

1. The idea that we could be leaving Ace, Deuce and Grim

When Deuce and Grim started reminiscing and getting upset about us leaving and Grim being alone again

JUST THE ABSOLUTE HEARTBREAK I FELT IN THIS SCENE WAS AWFUL LIKE TWST WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

CAN WE GIVE OURSELVES A BREAK WE KEEPING GOING THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT TOGETHER

BUT THEN ACE'S REACTION IS SENDING ME TO THE HEAVENS

I'M SO CONFUSED AT ACE'S REACTION LIKE CMON TELL ME HOW YOU ACTUALLY FEEL

Throughout the whole series we've always seen Ace consoling us and keeping his positive outlook, and I'm DYING to see how he reacts to us leaving when we have a guaranteed way home

I feel like once he know's our time is coming to an end, Ace is gonna be inconsolable and just completely break down and beg us to not leave

AND I WILL NOT BE OKAY

IF I SEE ALL THREE OF THEM CRYING ABOUT US LEAVING OR THE OTHER STUDENTS IM GONNA BE IN THERAPY FOR WEEKS

I wish we got to see him more vulnerable but I feel like Yana is just cooking something up to DEVASTATE the fandom

AND THE ACEYUU LOVER THAT I AM IM HOPING WE GET SOME DEVELOPMENT CAUSE THIS LITTLE SHIT IS SO GOOD AT MASKING HIS FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

LIKE CMON ACE TRAPPOLA LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL

2. Malleus speaking about this past

LET ME TELL YOU MALLEUS DRACONIA NEEDS SO MUCH GODDAMN LOVE

THE AMOUNT OF TIME MALLEUS WAS ALONE AND HE WAS USED TO IT IS ABSOLUTELY AWFUL

(Also screw that last option like why would I ever pick that after what he told us)

Just the fact as he was telling his story and we pointed it out and he was just like "Oh, I guess I was" and acknowledged it

Does everyone need to be so traumatized by their past in this game like goddamn the whole goddamn school needs a therapist

Just reminiscing on his reactions to spending time with us in the main story and side stories, and how much he enjoyed being included just makes the past events more special with him 😭

....And his reaction afterward we told him we'd found a way home...

WE'RE JUST ADDING ON MORE TO HIS LONELINESS AND I HATE IT CAN'T WE GIVE MALLEUS LOVE AND A BREAK

AND THEN THE WAY IT ENDED JUST SENDS ME INTO OVERDRIVE EVERY GODDAMN TIME

.....Malleus facing the horrible reality that everyone is slowly fading from his life and he has no way to prevent this is just....

When I tell you I'm going to be in therapy after Chapter 2, I will be so inconsolable that I will be in shambles for a while

I'm glad I'm also caught up to the Chapter 6 on the JPN server, but having to now relive everything in the EN server I will not be okay

Now I will sit in and cry impatiently as I wait for a date for the newest Chapter (ALSO MANIFESTING MORE CHAPTERS NEXT MONTH FOR BOTH SERVERS EVEN THOUGH IT HURTS)

Enjoying the rest of your day~~!! *walks off in tears*

[dremiruu]

alright i was planning to put out a big celebratory nublar six fanart for chaos theory day but since its 10 and I'm only done with darius I'm putting a pin in that and instead posting the notes i took at the time while watching the show!!

BIG JURASSIC WORLD CHAOS THEORY SPOILERS AHEAD

I'm going to come out with more sane-sounding analyses and all when i calm down so stick around for that -> for this i was just writing down whatever was in my head while watching but it's still fun!! (italicized the best fragments)

episode 1: - oh my fucking god bens a redditor. my sweet boy what have u done to him - darius calling brooklynn just to hear her voice made me tear up :(( - oh my GOD i missed benrius so so much

episode 2: - HE TURNED HIS VAN INTO A HUGE DORK POUCH AWWW LOVE THIS LITTLE (BIG) GUY - "guess we could've looked that up but… well…" BEN. - WHAT THE FUCK WHATTHEFUCK BEN AND BROOKLYNN WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME - SHES SO CUTE…… - im crying,,,, - brookes an investigative journalist awww that fits her so well - them bonding over dark jurrassic i CANNOT - ben being obsessive and dealing with constant anxiety ahhh - darius just called ben 'benjamin' i am in shambles - ohhhwwhbgb theyre fighting over trust and brooklynn and ughghhh my babies - awww bonding over candy i MISSED THEM SO MUCH

episode 3: - SAMMY LIVING ON HER FARM AHH - she doesnt talk to her parents anymore??? girl we all KNOW you care, you loved them SO MUCH?? she sacrificed so much for them what the hell happened - BUMPER CARRRRR SHES HEERREEEEEE - AWWW HER AND BENS REUNION!!!!!!! - ben defending bumpy. also i dont like carlos - SAMMY GIRLIE I LOVE U SO MUCH PLEASE GO SEE A THERAPIST. AVOIDING UR PROBLEMS BY KEEPING URSELF BUSY ISN'T HEALTHY. PLEASE - WHATTHEFUCK WHATTHEFUCK HER SEEING BROOKE I AM IN SHAMBLES - SAMMY GUTTIEREZ. STOP. - THE TEARS IN HER EYES - OH MY GOD IM SOBBING WHAT THE FUCK - "And what, Darius? Stop and think about Brooklynn dying, or my family not speaking to me, or Yaz pulling away from me? No. I… I can't stop. I won't." JESUS FUCGIN CHRSIT WHY - ^ im gonna have to post a whole analysis on this scene because wgat the fuck man - seeing them back in their 'hiding from the dinos' selves fbiudsjkbgfskd - Sammy with Brookes jacket awhghh - ^ also i STILL believe Brooklynns alive I DONT CARE WGAT ANYBODY SAYS PKAEASE - ^^ HHDFUSIGIF - alr this is the 2nd scene involving cars and jumping i have to start counting - ok ths is building up GOOD

episode 4: - ben being emo and sighing so somebody would notice him BROO - THEYRE SO CUTE?? benrius married for the double income shenanigans - YEAH BUMPYS A BOSS SHELL BE FINE - BGFDHUJKH THEYRE ADORABLE - i didn't know i needed benrius conspiring together until we got it - BEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND. !!!! - DARIUSES FLASHBACK SJIT?? - these children. (theyre older than me now i think) - oh my fucking god theyre all so traumatised - DARIUS AND KENJI ARENT ON SPEAKING TERMS. THE HELL. - KENJIIIII HEIII!!! - HES IGNORING HIM. WHAT THE FUVKING HWELL - hes an eat-love-climb kinda guyy - WHYRE THEY FIGHTINGG - oh hes BLAMING DARIUS for brooklynn? KENJI KON WHAT THE FUCK - she went to see daniel?????? why. - SAM CALLING YASMINA ALL THE TIME I - KENJ AND DARIUS WITH TRUST - sammy ranting about yaz doing things she doesn't like i- PLEASE communicate. i beg u creator gods make them actually TALK to each other - "I think we should split up." "gasp you and yaz?!" "what?! noo! us! the three of us!!! …why, did she say somethin'?" OH MY GODSHBKJG HOW BAD IS THEIR SITUATION IM SCARED - sammy just tickled the keys off him - THEY LEFT DARIUS TO DEAL WITH IT. - okay them having the emotional conversation ON THE CLIFFSIDE. ok. - KENJI BROKE UP W HER?? alright were getting dinostar then right - ^ christ man i am too good at guessing these things - DARIUS NOT KNOWING HOW CLIMBING ROPES WORK LMAO - okay B&Kenji were cute im gonna miss them - but Brooklynn ignoring him,,, JUSTIFIES IT. I GET IT KENJ OK - POOR KENJI??? WTF??????????? - OH GODFFDHGFBV AND BEFORE HER DEATH TOO WHY - OKAY i get that i should pay more attention to the dinostar crumbs and all but all i feel rn is sympathy for kenji. hes been done wrong ENTIRELY in this scenario and just. man. - HTEY GOT BUMPY

episode 5: - aiaiai darius babY PLEASE - make them COMMUNICATE. PKEAFEEE - kenji calls ds mom more than he does whagthehellman - SAMS STILL CALLING YAZ AGHHH - OK THE TEARS IN HER EYES STOP IT - her and 'benjamin' bickering AHH - SHES SOOOO GIRLBOSS I LOVE LVOE HER - WTF THAT GUYS AN ASSHOLE?? - aaand THEYRE FREEING THE DINOS! - FHUCkin daniel kon - AHH THEYRE SO CUTESY - BEN SUSPECTING SAMMY. AND JUST SAMMY. WHAT THE FUCK - 'but i promise, I do trust you. now.' OOOHHHH MY SWEET SWEET DUDEEE. FUCK U - i get WHY i GUESSS, with his paranoia and all but thats an ASSHOLE move - daniel and kenji ermmbnbgvjsdk - HES TRYING TO MANIPULATE HIM AGAAAINN DUDE ITS GETTING BORING - w6AT. TF. KENJI - ooh the good ol dino chase!! - SAMMY BEING A GOOD FIGHTER AWHGHH - WFAH THAT SCARED ME - ok they made up!! - I KNEW THIS GUY WAS AWFUL - OKAYYYYY KENJ YESSS TALK ABOUT IT!!! FINALLYYYY COMMUNICATIONNNN - YESWSS AHDJFSN THEYRE TALKING - I LOVE THIS SO MUCH TEARS FLOWING DOWN MY CHEEKS AHFGDS - I HATE THIS FUCKING GUY AIGERG SDFJ - YES KENJI GO OFF BITCH!!!!!! - brooke… whatttth, - TF WAS SHE DOING - OH MY FUCKING GOD THE SCREAM I SCREAMT WHEN I SAW THIS DINOSAUR CONTROLLING PERSON NIGHTMARE FUCKING FUEL - WHAT THE FGUCK WHYS SHE SO UNCANNY VALLEY I LITTERALLY JUMPED AND MOVED AWAY IMMEDIATELY - oh he doesnt die :( - still WHO IS THAT?? - oh he does die :) - fr tho - KENJI POOR BABY IM SO SORRY. as if he didnt go through enough already.. - WHY TEHGFHBVCKJS OH WHO ARE U U EERIE FUCKIN - is kenj having a panic attack!!!! - BCFHSDKJFBJKDBFKJVX THEYRE SO CUFKING SCARY WHY ARE THEIR MOVEMENTS SO MECHANICAL - KENJI SAYING お父さん NOW I AM DDYING. I WILL NOT RECOVER.

episode 6: - SHITTTT YAZ'S HEREEE - ohhhh fuck shes dealing with A LOT - DARLING U OK??? - THE FLASHBACKS ARE TERRIFYING - shes so pretty!!!! - BROOKLYNN BITCH WHTWS FD - THEYRE SOOOOO CUTEEEEE - I LOVE HOW YAZS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES HAVE BEEN AND STILL ARE PORTRAYED - I'm SO glad to see her dealing with everything and slowly getting over some of her trauma - ooh ok YAZ AND SAMMY - THEYRE SO HSGDIUF - okay so the solution to the problem is. TALK. its just. TALK TO EACH OTHER. - AWHH OK SHES NOT READY I SUPPOSEE - SHIT sam bb i get protecting the ones u love. but u shouldnt hide things from ur gf just so she doesnt feel bad. especially things so huge. - AND YAZ. babygirl. you shouldn't avoid your gf if shes doing something ure uncomfortable with. you shouldn't ignore her and make her feel bad abt it. YASAMY. THIS IS AN INTERVENSION. TALK TO EACH OTHER. ACTUALLY. PLEASE - ^ this is me showing how much im loving this storyline. VERY annoyed. love angst in fav ships. GOTTA HAVE SOME SPICE ONCE IN A WHILE I GET IT - ^^ but if they break up im killing myself - sammY PLEASEEFH DONT ASSUME JUST TALK. PTSD/MENTAL HEALTH IN GENERAL ISNT THAT SIMPLE - theyre both doing wrong things AND I JUST AGHHH -ALTHOUGHH when they finally DO communicate itll be SOO satysfying - EEEE HERE THEY AREEEEEEE - awkward. a little. BUT SWEET - OK NO I CHANGED MY MIND THEYRE SOOOO CUTEEEE - and ben and yazs friendship AGHGHHHG - therapy island. awh okayy!! - YAZS SO PASSIONATE I LOVE IT - 'ohohohhh… let me show u!… benny boy' - this is GOOD. it IS impressive!! - SAMMY STOP IT - YES YASMINA TALK ABOUT IT - I AM LOVING THIS OH MY GOD - JESUS CHRIST BEN - NAH WHAT THE FUCK - WHY. BENJAMIN. - yasammyyyyyy i love u to hell and back WHY R U LIKE THIS - ben&yaz bonding!!!! - YEAHHH SHES HAPPY FOR UUUU - THE BESTIESSSS - OH MY GOD THE FUCKING DINOSAURS ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING - ohhh this isnt good!!! - OHHKAY THE GUYS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK - jumping car scene count: 3 - 'big bens got moves' SHE SAID THE LINE - i feel like DPW is gonna play a bigger role in this - ^AND IM RIGHT. - WGAT THE FUCNK

episode 7: - OHKAY WHATS GOING ON - theyre up buttt….. what the hell r they gonna do. they either drown or get eaten by a dino. - YASAMMMYYYYY I MISSED U SO MUCH - AND THEYRE SPEAKING AND SHJOWING AND HFUDSI - okay KENJIS HABING A PANIC ATTACK I AM - quick break to say the mental health representation and how its done in this show is one of the best examples on how to portray mentally unwell characters I've seen lately - WTF DOES THIS GUY HAVE TO DO WITH THIS - bens soggy van is what ure complaining about rn guttierez??? - OK THE SCENE OF BS DEATH I CANT IM SOBBING - them both reaching for the phone ok. - THEYRE ALIVE, - YASAMMYS BACK OFFICIALLY PEOPLE I AM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP - ben respectfully i love u but that van wouldve died of old age in a matter of a week - SHE HAD A PLACE - he finally got to throw them phones away - I AM SCREAMING OVER THESE YASAMMY MOMENTS IM AHGFSFJSV - 'oh i am so gonna hunt them from beyond the grave' yasmina fadoula will u marry me - oh right they dont have their phones so theyre not gonna be able to find each other - ok so if im picking up what theyre putting down correctly brooklynn was investigating illegall DPW dinosaur dropoffs?? - cant tell if kenjis coming to terms with it or being jealous - WHAT THE FUCK OK SHE EITHER GOT REALLY INTO THAT INVESTIGATING OR SHES ACTUALLY WENT CRAZY - ok this kenji sequence questioning scene was amazing

episode 8: - wgat the aHELL wr they doin - ok darius and kenji awkwardly connecting. good - ^and darius being protective around kenj over brooklynns phone since he left so many voicemails that he doesnt want him to hear? jesus christ man - OKAY my favourite little trio in a truck with a dinosaur chat do we think theyll survive this - tbh the amount of times in these kids lives where the probablity of survival was scary low is. er. sad - ^ not only for them cause of trauma and stuff but for the random bg characters - dude dies after seeing a dino ONCE but six random kids? yeah theyll survive DOZENS without help - quickly ill just say we need a name for the lesbians and their emotional support muscle wall. their dynamic is superb - the kenji and brooklynn video I LOVE THEM - BABYTALK - . POOKIE BEAR. KENJI WENJI. - shit fuckballs they're fighting again - darius. just. talk? - YES THIS IS GOOD TOO THIS IS GOOD - that CAN be a coping mechanism i GUESSS - what. who r u - DPW BOSS? - YEAH I THOUGHT THEYD FALL FOR THAT AGAIN THANK GOD - YOU WERE IN WHAT WITH WHO NOW - ^WHAT THHFSDN - ^^I WAS EXPECTING THIS HIGHKEY BUT STILL - ^^^ its good that he told kenji about this - ^^^^ and its GREAT that kenji's understanding - is this THE video??? - SHE IS WHAT NOW - maybe this is how they get to take these dinos away?? by pretending the dinos are dead in the face of the law?? - 'ooh heyyy!. boo.' I LOVE U GUYS - it IS the video. - OK BUT A LITTLE BIT LONGER - if i was in dariuses place i would NEVER recover - KENJI RESPECTFULLY DON;T - ^DONT BLAME HIM???? - please dont let this be the scary lady - YEAH KENJ ATLEAST URE RESPECTFUL - whats going on with bumpy. - YASAMMMY I WANNA INJECT U INTO MY VEINS - SHESAIDTHELINESHESAIDTHELINE - ^ 'wanna make a little chaos?' WHAT IF I DIE. WHAT IF I DIE YASMINA. WHAT THEN. - 'maybe. maybe not!!!!' BABIES?? - r the dinos drugged or controlled with the same method the inhumane ladys using - ^or are they tranqued out of their minds. idk. - OH SHIT? THEY SHOULDNT KILL AT THE WATERING HOLE guess it isnt really that is it - BENJAMIN NO

episode 9: - now SAMMYS anxiety's spiking - ok bens gonna not die hopefully?? - i love them stalking. the little creepers. hehe - BUMPER CARRR WHATS GOING ON - ^ is she drugged or smth :((( - ^^^maybe shes pregnant?? but idk idk i dont think so - ^^^^ fucking forshadowing - ^^^^^ i sincerely hope its more positive than im thinking - COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!! YESSSS!!! - theyre the cutest!!!! Yasammy charades level teamwork!!!!! - ok i love both the teams - kenji and darius sticking up for each other despite everything. DO THEY WANNA MAKE ME SUFFER - the kon puns im crying - KENJI HELPING DARIUS CLIMB IM SCREAMING - ok quick intermission i LOVE yazs design shes so cute - hndsgjkb JUST FIND EACH OTHER ALREADY - BENJAMIN CMON U GOTTA SAVE HER - 'Are you dying?' WHATRF ESDGUHKUFDGKJBFDXBFVGBUFIDCFGVBKJSDXBC K EFAHBUISDAGEBDBWAUISDFK - ^ NO - ^^ NO - ^^^ NOOOOOOO - WHATTTTTFDSDGJBMGDF - SHE CANT BE - ILL SOB MY EYES OUT I SWEAR TO GOD - BEN HIDING AND CRYING I - I FEEL U IM DOING THE SAME EXACT THING RN - OKAY THEY KNOW NOW - yaz&sammy&kenji&darius reunion1!!!!1! - ^ AND WHERES BEN - BUMPY. U STRONG STRONG WOMAN. I WANT U TO KNOW THAT IF U DIE. I WILL TOO. - IM GONNA KILL MYSLEF/.

(this i fear is where i realise that im going insane)

- CREEPY MICRO BANGS IS AN AMAZING NAME FOR UNCANNY VALLEY WOMAN YEAH - yeah atp i think weve all figured out its an illegal dino selling business - wGAT - yeah WTF WAS SHE DOING - 'no talk. come quick. bumpys dying.' IM FUCKING DYING TOO!!!!!!!! FUCK THIS SHIT OH MY GOD - BUMPER CAR DO NOT. PLEASE. DONT. - WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I WAS RIGHT - ^ WTF WTF I - thats an egg. - DONT THINK ABOUT IT BUD.

episode 10: - these kids r so traumatised they do not need this - IS SHE RLY DEAD…. - ok so its two separate factors i think?? DPW on one side, creepy micro bangs on the other. right? - ^ this is delving DEEP into the mystery factor… - BEN WTF!!!!! DONT JUST??? DO THAT???????? - OMFG SHES HERE - ^ I HATE HER IHATEHERIHATEHER - SHES WHY THE DINOS R ACTING WEIRD - WHY IS SHE SO FUCKING UNCANNY I CANNOT - ^ SHES LIKEA CARNIVORE DINOSAUR IF IT WAS A HUMAN - ok so SHES the real boss. the unresponsive. wide eyed. controlling dinosaurs. microbangs. woman. - SWHE KILLED BROOKLYNN. - ^ WHAT THE FUCK. - im ngl i DID kinda dig her vibe but AFTER HEARING THIS I JUST CAngfijbdsuif FUCK U - who THE HELL - GET UR FREAKY ASS BOB AWAY - BRUH PUT THAT FUCKING WHISTLE DOWN - IM GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES OVER THIS LADY - WHAT THE - theyre way too lucky who the hell is driving that truck - i feel like atleast ONE of them shoulda got injured in that fall - OH MATEO!!!! HI BB - OOP CREEPY BANGS DEAD YIPPEE - AND THEYRE ALL GOING BAZONKAS?? BC SHES UNRESPONSIVE I PRESUME? - ALWAYS THE MFING RAPTORS - okay theyre definitely coca in the loca - WGAT TJR FJCUK EPIC EXPLOSION TYRANNOSAURUS REX - ^ R U SLASH J OR SRS RN - JESUS I LOVE THESE KIDs - where's yaz. - SAMMY!!! - 'Hey, Stripey! Leave. My girl. Alone!' YTHIS IS WHY I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW /affectionate - AND THE ALMOST KISS HALF HUG IM KMS - WHY R THEY LIKE THIS - HES LETTING THE ALLOSAURUS OUT???? HUHHHHHHH - DARIUS BOWMAN. - IS HE - IS HE FUCKING - SERIOUS RN - jesus christ this BOY. this BOY man. - DIE - DDDDIIIIIEEEEEE - what tf!!!! the broker??? - we still dont know the creepy bangs name…. - so we're getting a 2nd season right - AWW YASAMMY SHOT - HWRFIUSDHGSFDKHAWVBSDXCZKJLGDHSFKLJGBJKESRDFJ - WHYSDHIFUJDIGVBDFS - WHEN I TELL U I JUMPED I MEAN I JJJUUUUMMMMPPPEEEEDDDD - THIS EERIE ASS BITCH KEEPS ON SHOWING UP WHEN I DONT EXPECT IT - DONT GET ME WRONG - PEAK CHARACTER DESIGN - AND THE LOOK ITSELF IS RLY CUTE AND ALL - BUT IF I SAW A BITCH THAT LOOKED AND BEHAVED LIKE THIS I WOULDVE SCREAMED MY INTESTINES OUT AND RAN ALL THE WAY TO AUSTRALIA - THE CREEPIEST CHARACTER IVE SEEN IN YEARS IM AFRAID - oh she still cares about her dinos!!! this makes her a little more human - a little less scary - ok - her movements r less mechanical more affectionate now - less hvfudignb BIGBFI SHE JUST TURNED - thank GOD shes gone - theyre me - 'well that was… unnerving' WELL SAID - YASAMMY HUG!! - YEAHHHH THE LOOK!! - the regular schmegular 'let's save the day' speech. we gotchu darius!! - GASPPP - ok so UNREQUITED dinostar - OH MY GHRHSIUDF THATS SO FUCKING SAD - DARIUS MY BABY I - YEAH!! SHOW UP!!!!! - ofc they are????? - it IS a very brooklynn thing to fo - you kon count him in too!!! - LMAO MATEO I LOVE YOU - YUP YUP BUMPER CAR NEEDS CARE AND SAFETY - IS THIS THE END??? - please give me atleast one more cryptic scene - OH SHES IN ON IT TOO?/BG - bgiudsfgtbfseruifdgkdfx - I FUCKING TOLDF U - I TOLD U ALL - I SAID IT FIRST - HGIUDFSOI;GT;ERASFOICXLBVNIPGRSD - SHE LOST AN ATM - SHES ALIVE - THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN FUCKING TALKINHG ABOUT - TOLD U SHE COULDNT BE DEAD I MEAN. ITS BROOKLYNN.

(ok all in all. this was. an experience. gonna leave it at that and go take a nap)

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 21

chapter 36:

1. “It's been so long. Oh, there you are, here you are, hi,” *deep breath* AHHHHHHHHH

2. 😭😭😭 “Remus keeps a firm grip on him and turns around to promptly leave, which is probably a little rude, considering that the others are here and may wish to greet him, but he honestly can't bring himself to care about that right now” i would expect nothing less

3. WOLFSTAR REUNION!!!! I AM IN SHAMBLES!

4. “On the way, James glances back with a grin, internally wishing Sirius all the good things, because no one deserves them more.”

oh. wow. that’s such a soft line. it’s literally making me melt

5. “Remus could not be more in love if he tried.” shit shit shit shit sobbing. wolfstar deserves the world

6. “He does love Sirius, though. Loves him dearly, with every defiant bone in his body. This man, who doesn't even realize the importance of what he's just done by giving Remus an unopened envelope. Remus, who owns nothing. Remus, who has nothing. Remus, who is not granted privacy or freedom for anything like this, for anything at all.”

i am on PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION and i am BAWLING my eyes out as silently as i possibly can. y’all don’t understand the restraint i have right now to not loudly sob

7. the LETTER has me CRYING

8. THE SECRET MESSAGE

9. oh, okay. remus killed an auror/greyback. it’s honestly not as bad as i thought it would be. also, i love the lily and remus duo. they’re so iconic

10. i LOVE LOVE LOVE that zar made a point for sirius to have the discussion that his demisexuality is NOT because of trauma and he’s always been that way. it’s beautiful <3

11. “”You can ask Regulus and James; I walked around for a solid month making everyone call me Mr. Sirius Macdonald."” STOP PLSS THATS SO FUNNY

12. SIRIUS JUST TOLD REMUS HE LOVED HIM!!! this is literally so sweet

13. andjskjdksksjsms the authors note:

“sirius, internally: a guillotine could not sever the head im about to give this man. good for them 😌”

chapter 37:

1. i’m starting a gofundme to get regulus a balcony

2. "”Sirius doesn't let me drink," James replies flatly.

"Well, don't say it like that, James. You make it sound like I'm a strict parent, or a controlling spouse," Sirius grumbles. "And I do let you drink, in moderation, when you're in a safe environment and in a good mental state. Don't forget to mention that you only let me drink within those same rules."”

i bet james is upset with the rules he made for sirius so long ago. came back to bite him in the ass

3. describing sirius as “ruffled like an offended bird” has done wonders for my mental health

4. james, remus, and sirius are all hanging out and i am beyond angry that peter doesn’t get to share this moment

5. pandora is such an angel and doesn’t deserve this pain

6. pandora and reg friendship >>>>>>>>>

7. their outfits for the night!! every last one of them is slaying so hard

8. “There's a tense moment where a group of murderers all stare around at each other, not opposed to adding a few more names to their lists. Oh, and Pandora is there, too, startlingly calm despite this.”

yaxley needs to shut his fucking mouth and stop implying that sirius will fuck his way through issues

9. “"You know what they'll assume we're doing."

"Running away," Regulus mutters.

James sighs in exasperation and fond amusement. "No, Reg. Fucking. They'll assume we've snuck off to find a corner to go fuck in."”

😭😭😭😭😭 i love reg. he’s so ready to leave

10. jegulus is getting their shit together and improving. i’m so glad

11. “James swallows. "They're—they destroy things now, when they never did before. They're rough sometimes. Bloody."

"Warm," Regulus counters, pressing another kiss to James' shaking fingers. "Steady. Strong. These hands hold the people you love. These hands care for them. They're gentle. Tender."”

this is love. what they have is love. it’s messy and broken and so difficult, but they’re trying and it’s love

12. and once again we have wolfstar my true loves ☺️☺️

i feel like nows a good time to add to respect bizzarestars’ wishes to not have the fic reposted or reuploaded a different site. i can’t remember his wishes about bookbinding, but respect those as well.

thank you, lovely people

[anime-dreams]

Idk man pt 2??? Jjk season 2 was traumatising (gege 😡) but sukuna was really hot

Anyways heres Shokos pov after ✨Gojoe✨ and 🗣️Geetoes🦶breakup (i love shoko omg shes so hot and shes savage)

I could barely recognise you after he left. Those blue eyes no longer held the familiar warmth and glow. Your mood swings were so sudden, your silence was so loud, i could not stand to be around you for too long anymore. But you know what i could not stand most? Seeing you, the supposed “strongest” wasting away, like a dimming star. What have you became? Unrecongisable. 

I still keep in touch with Geto. I receive his letters twice a week, and the way he talked about you, it was like you hung stars in the sky. Each one of those letters never failed to mention your name, never failed to ask me to check up on you. And that day, i knocked softly on your door, with a bag full of your favourite snacks. You were crying. I heard it. You never cried, at least, not in front of me. But when you opened the door, you greeted me with a smile that did not reach your eyes. Why are you hiding your feelings from me? Have i also not been with you for the past 2 years? I reached out my hand to pat your back, to try to comfort you, and you flinched, taking a step back, as my hand came into contact with seemingly nothing. Oh yeah, i forgot. Your infinity has been on ever since he left. You took one more step back awkwardly, not meeting my eyes. I know that i can never replace him, but for you to act like im a complete stranger… was i not there? Your actions following his disappearance… it made me question myself if my place in your lives have ever been as meaningful as i had thought. Was i merely an afterthought in the story of our friendship? I didnt even remember how i felt, but i heard myself yell: “Can you suck it up and get the hell over him already?” and the already flickering light in your eyes went out, completely. Before i knew it, your amplification blue took away the whole ceiling and turned it into shambles. Those chipped pieces of wood and shattered pieces of glass held my gaze, as i saw, reflected in them, an image of us. Once strong, now cracked and split. It hurts, you know. Is this how it’s going to end? 

We still talked, but every word you said, every smile you flashed at me, your eyes remained void. Every joke you cracked, every prank you pulled, hollowness echoed after them. I could do nothing but leave you to wallow in your misery. After all, im not him. I cant get you to open up to me like you do with him. You need to know when it’s necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy. Deep down, i believe that you havent lost who you are, you’re just different, and that’s okay. But it was painful, to see you like that. 

I stared at the image of you crouching over him, debating if i should disturb the moment. You said something, and he smiled, holding tightly onto his still bleeding shoulder. His lips moved, conveyed his last thoughts to you, then his arms slackened, and his head drooped. You remained there, saying nothing. Your blindfold was off, your shoulders were hunched, your jaw was clenched, and in those swirling shades of blue in your eyes, i could somehow only see emptiness. It wasent long before i had to step in. i was supposed to take care of his body’s disposal, after all. And before i could even touch him, you pushed me aside, with so much force that i almost fell. Your head turned, your eyes cast a piercing gaze at me, and those blue were no longer empty. In them, a whirlwind of emotions swirled, some of which i could not comprehend. How can i, anyway? When you never told me anything. I took that as my cue to leave. 

You and him fit each other perfectly, like yin and yang. Then… where am I? To you and him, what have i been this whole time? In some other life, we are standing side by side, and laughing at the fact that in some other life, we are apart. Gojo, Geto, i really hope that we will meet again, that in another life, our paths will cross again, not as Gojo, Geto, or Shoko, but 3 strangers that become the best of friends. Maybe in another life, our fates won’t be sealed and our destinies won’t be so complicated. Maybe in that other life, I will no longer feel invisible.

(😭😭😭its so sad that shoko stuck by toru and sugu all those times and shes like, so damn invisible. 'theres always a duo in a trio' 😢 i love her so much)

Anyways thanks for making it here!! Im the type that only writes when i feel really emo or when im free (student life's really busy :() so im not really active here BUT i appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism if any so pls do comment and TYSMMM FOR MAKING IT HERE 😍

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

⚠️‼WARNING!! HIRAKAGI MANGA CHAPTER 21 SPOILERS‼⚠️

I ALREADY SAID IT BEFORE BUT THIS CHAPTER HAD ME ON THE FLOOR!! I HAVE LEGIT PERISHED WHILE READING SO MY GHOST IS HERE TO WRITE ABOUT HOW AMAZING THIS CHAPTER WAS!!!

‼ SPOILERS BELOW CUT ‼

OKAY STARTING OFF STRONG, THE VERY FIRST PANEL!

LOOK AT THESE CUTIESSSS!! I WILL NEVER BE OVER THE FACT THAT KAGI IS THE FIRST THING HIRANO SEES EVERY MORNING!!!!

SASAKIIIII OGAAAAAA MY BOYS ITS BEEN TOO LONGGGGGG

BRIBERY! :D

Hirano back at it again feeding into the pilot propaganda

also, kinda gay to think about another man like that unprompted while using the word "exploring" if you ask me.

"I can't believe he had the nerve" I can't believe you had the nerve to even think that.

also, love sasaki giving one of his classic "I know what you are hirano" looks

HANZAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Have I ever said how much I love this dude? he is so silly and so important to me you don't understand. this panel is adorable!!!

HIRANOOO YOU ARE SO CLOSE TO GETTING IT, THE POINT IS RIGHT THERE!! IT IS NOT DIFFERENT WITH THE DAMN PEPPERS MY BOY!!!

I LOVE HOW HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING THROUGH EVERY STAGE OF GRIEF IN THAT SECOND PANEL LMAOOO

"I think......" I AM GOING TO KILL!!! WHY IS THIS HITTING ME JUST AS HARD AS THE "I guess he wasn't going to touch me" SCENE AAAAAAAAAAA

alsooo I count this entire page and the page before as more proof for my aspec hirano propaganda

KAGI MY SON YOU LOOK SO CUTEEE

WHEN I TELL YOU I DIE EVERY TIME HE DOES THIS

ACK THE BLUSH!!! NOT VERY HETERO-JUST-ROOMATES OF YOU HIRANO!!

also I love how he's slowly getting more and more flustered everytime kagi asks for 10 seconds

he looks so happy i am gonna CRY

........................... . z.d.s..s.

JAKKQOWISHSJHDBBDHDJWISKWOAOKAK

OH MY FUCKING,,,,,,,,,

I CANNOT DO THIS I CANNOT COPE I AM DEAD DYING ON THE FLOOR I HAVE DIED FROM GAYBRAIN I WILL NEVER RECOVER

also THIS WAS SO TSUNDERE OF YOU HIRANO IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE

also also THE FIRST TIME HIRANO INITIATES THE 10 SECONDS THIS IS A MONUMENTAL OCCASION I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD FRAME THIS PANEL

EXPLODES!!!! KAGI'S FACE I CANT DO THISSSSS

SO BLUNT KAGI LMAO!

"........." QHAT DOES THAT MEAN HIRANO!!! EXPLAIN!!!!!!!

.

WHAT.

WHATTYYTTJEOAJSKEHEKWJS

KAGI HELLO?!?!??!?!???! I AM UNWELL?????? YOU CANT BE DOING THIS TO ME????????

FIRST MITSUKOU DATE NOW THIS I AM IN SHAMBLES

THE MANGA IS JUST AS SHOCKED AS I AM?!?!?!!!

-------------

OVERALL: 10/10 CHAPTER I AM NEVER GOING TO RECOVER THANK YOU HARUSONO!!! I NEED FINANCIAL COMPENSATION FOR THE MENTAL DECOMPOSITION CAUSED BY THIS CHAPTER 🙏

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

TBB s3 Finale Thoughts!!

Fair warning, this one is very long

I am fear

Why is this intro music

What is this intro music

Help

“The base is 5 Klicks away. Can you make it?”

Jesus Christ what a scary question right from the start

Is Wrecker gonna…?

I’m not gonna say it

Jesus

This convo between Hemlock and Rampart was amazing

Two villains, being villainy together

Honestly the writers knew what they were doing

Honestly, I love that Emerie is owning up to her mistakes?

is she gonna 99 herself?

Jeez Jennifer’s Tweet really threw me

ALSO OMEGA GIRLBOSSING

LETS GOO

Oh shit, cross wiring a droid??

This is Tech’s training huh??

🥹🥹🥹🥹

he’d be so proud

EVA STRAPPED RHE PLUSHIE TO HER BACK IM CRYING

gaaaaaahh Omega is so grown up

I love her

AHHHHGH IM SOSCARED FOR WRECKER??

JEN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

WAIT SO

the kids just escaped

and now Echo is going to save the kids

NO

Ugh this can’t end well

This is

hhhhhhhh

I KNEW IT

omega is freeing the Zillo

ofc she is!!

love!!

Why does Guy With Googles seem like foreshadowing?

Where’s Tech Jen?

Where’d you put him?

Honestly the entire Zillo thing is giving Ahsoka freeing Maul

Echo realising she freed the Zillo

“How’d you know that?” “Because it’s exactly what I’d do.”

BESTIE THE WAY I SCREAMED

Crosshairs hand tremor getting worse literally has me in shambles

I am so scared for him

Actually for all of them

HHHHHHHHHH

Oh so batcher is alive

AAAHHHHH

OKAY

FIRST. OF. ALL.

Cross changing the plan because of Wreckers injury???

AHHHHGH THAT IS SO SWEET HELP???

SECONDLY

HIM OFFERING TI INFILTRATE THE BASE HIMSELF???

SCARY!!!

LASTLY

“You two, head to the communications array and try to contact Rex.”

I AM JUMPING AND SCREAMING WITH JOY

I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS

REX

YEA

BRING REX BACK

YEASSSSS!!!!

Oh I really shoulda waited this out

Are they not bringing Rex back?

Either waY THAG LINE??

“Clone Force 99 died with Tech.”

The entire conversation about Omega needing the others more than him?

“If we all go in, we won’t all make it out.”

AHHHHHH

NOOOoo

he’s right tho

shiiiiit

“Echo’s handiwork? Or Omega’s?” in sync: “Omega.” I AM SCREAMING

I think Hemcock realised that the Zillo was an intentional distraction

But he still has to make a move

And that made him angry

Love it

Our girl pissed him off

OH

OHHHH

THATS TECH

THERE HE IS

Okay so he wasn’t the operative we expected

BUT COME ONE

the chamber?? Reminds me of Echos on Skako

And the Helmet is different than all the others

And the back of the head like yea

That’s Tech!!!

Especially because Hemlock getting him now makes so much sense

He needs to figure out how to stop the batch, so why not use a former squad member? And reunite CLONE FORCE 99

Echo: sees loads of destruction

Echo: omega was here

“We need to fall back.”

And call Rex

Call Rex

And don’t 99 yourself

Cross

Don’t

“You should be more careful with your shooting hand.”

No.

No way.

No.

They didn’t

They couldn’t have

This actually has me wanting to cry wtf

Fuck, the batch being careened off unconscious in front of Echo is,,, very concerning

Echo has to call Rex now right

Gah poor guy must feel very unsettled

Ahhhh and the rest of the batch

hhhhhh

helpppp

“Causing chaos Havoc 5?”

AHHHHHH

he is so dad coded actually

🥹🥹🥹🥹

sweetness

I needed that

uuuughhh them splitting up so that the kids are safe

So sweet

But also

This is gonna be hard for them alone

Ah fuck

Shiiiiit

He’s trying to winter soldier them

Noooooo

“We’ll survive. But you won’t.”

In that defeated voice?

I’m crying

AND HOW DARE HEMLOCK TALK ABT TECH RHAT WAY

FUCK, THIS EPISODE

Ugh Echo’s speech

The clones banding together

I’m crying

Jesus I love this

Echo taking charge that way

Natural leader fr

I am in love <3

Fuck, Rampart is gonna fuck something up huh

He’s gonna ruin it for them isn’t he

Oh shit Tarkin is coming?

Oh no

GOD THE WAY I LOVE THE CLONES ALL RISING UP TOGETHER

yo the way that “training room” is built is actually wild

gah omega freeing them herself is v scary to me

sounds like something abt to go wrong

yup

shit

fuck

HEMLOCK YOU BITCH

NO NOT THE GAS

NO

FUCK

Oh good they finally got rid of rampart

slightly bummed about Nala Sue though, even tho she was mostly not that great

She really stepped up

Wrecker hulking out like that

I love it!!!

LETS GOOOO

“Get the kid.”

WRECKER YOU MACHINE

I LOVE

okay so maybe none of the operatives are tech

at least I hope so bc the batch is mowing them down

Also

Crosshairs hand rlly is gone

Fuck

Shiiiiiiit

How could they do this to him

hhhhhhh

ugh the fact that it’s raining too

The way Echo is panting

Poor baby is so tired

Wrecker too, they’re barely holding on

The fact that Crosshair is shooting with his other hand and still hitting target

Can’t keep him down

But still bro wtf

“They won’t risk hurting you.”

“Neither will you. You need me alive.”

God the writing is so good

ALSO SCORCH???

POOR GUY NOOOOO

we got wet hair hunter tho😏🥲

“Shoot the binders.”

“They’re too close.”

“She knows what to do. Wait on her, then take the shot.”

WOW

THE WRITING

THE

WRITING

THE ANIMATION

THE ACTION

THIS IS LITERALLY SO FUCKING GOOD WHAT

GOD SHE SAW CROSS’S HAND

the way she immediately began crying and hugged him

And then hunter joining in

I AM NOT OKAY

(the writingggggg)

(hhhhhhhaaaaaaaa)

Oh thank fuck they’re back on Pabu

Echo inviting Emerie back to Pantora

that’s actually so sweet

And the convo about them never having had a childhood? Gah this hurts my soul

that shot of them all sitting together <3

okay so full disclosure I didn’t type for most of the last scene because I was so gagged

ADULT OMEGA?

OLD HIPPIE MAN HUNTER??

Omega joining the rebellion as a pilot

and Tech’s goggles on her dash

Okay so I know I was lobbying hard for Rex showing up, but at some point I got why he didn’t. This was about the batch. It was about the poetry of them stepping up into their natural roles and solving the problem themselves and I loved that.

Also, as most of you know, I was very strongly pro team Tech is alive and I don’t know how to feel now that we didn’t get a reveal. I’m thinking if we get another show maybe he might still come back but my optimism is a little,,, depleted.

Also I think it’s absolutely ridiculous that Tarkin reverts funds from Necromancer to Stardust AKA the Death Star. Like yeah, let’s forget about eternal life and focus on big floaty ball.

I just thought that was funny.

Also Crosshair saying that clone force 99 died with Tech. In a way that’s very true. They weren’t the same squad after that and they never will be. After that loss something was kicked loose in Hunter, I think. He was more sure than ever that he wanted to be a family before he wanted to be a squad. And in the end that’s what they got. There’s a bitter sweet poetic beauty in that I think.

Ugh honestly I think I need to sit in this for a while and process it because I’m a little,,, idk it was a lot. Like it was great but it was so much yanno? I’m kinda sad that the gap between Rex forming the rebellion and leaving the fight wasn’t filled yet, but I’m hopeful we get another show or short or something that fills it still, because honestly he’s earned it. I’d also like to see where Echo ends up fr

Idk I’m all over the place. I will repeat, again, that the writing was amazing. The dialogue, the action, the everything really. It was incredible.

I’m just gonna sit in that a while. Yeah. Hope y’all made it through and thanks for always reading all this. Hope I get a chance to do this again one day. Love you, bad batch fandom. We’re not going anywhere <3

xo, phi

[ritz-writes]

good omens s2 spoilers

okay. so we all know about the last scene in the bently. i had only heard 2 theories. one, crowley had the song queued up for his date with aziraphale. two, the bently started playing it itself.

i didnt know about the third one

some ppl think that its aziraphale that played it. that its his last words in a way. its his way of saying "i dont want to lose you. i do love you. im still here. im sorry" and so many other things

and i am IN SHAMBLES

i never even thought of that but i absolutely love that theory. i love all of them and i cant tell which i like more, but i think this might be the one i prefer. idk why.

either way im fucking crying

[jihyoruri]

..oh my god 😭😭

i was gonna go to bed but I saw the response.. and..

“even her members that just don’t say it up to her face like chaewon does, (she knows they love her but she also knows that they don’t think much about her when it comes to other factors of her besides her fathers money) but she’d rather play into it than show that she’s hurt, she was raised to be strong and to think that she’s better than everyone, she was raised to not let people see emotions because she’s richer and better”

IM GOING INSANE 😭😭NONO WHAT DO YOU MEAN. IM COOKED. IM LITERALLY WRITHING ON THE FLOOR.. RICHGIRLYN IM SO SORRY😭😭

okay so this may have just made me resign my spot at the shamelessyn fan club and start my new shift at the richgirlyn fanclub because this is DESTROYING me.

like. I’m literally in shambles. you have some sad yns but this is actually tearing me from the inside. she’s giving remember my name/thursday girl/come into the water by mitski. (I WILL DO A LYRIC ANALYSIS. ONE DAY)

her members.. yes they love her but do they love the real her.. would they still love her if she was weak? would they still love her if she couldn’t be strong anymore?? does she ever get jealous.. does she ever envy how easily they can cry how easily they can be weak how easily they get help.. does she ever envy them.. does she ever wish she didn’t have to be strong she didn’t have to be confident she didn’t have to be herself does she ever wish someone looked at her and saw a girl and not a monolith. she doesn’t know. (IMG OING CRAZY)

I just know this girl is holding the most insane thoughts it sounds like a war zone in her head after all this bottling up I’m actually coughing and writhing on the ground. (SHES JUST LIKE ME FR 😭😭)

need her to breakdown in the middle of her room while everyone else is asleep and she looks in the mirror and sees what she really is and feels the most horrible vitriol and disgust and everyone is asleep and she wishes someone would wake up and check on her but she knows they won’t so she wipes her face and goes to sleep and has to do it all over again. I JUST KNOW. I KNOW. SHE TOLD ME HERSELF😭 LET HER BE WEAK AND WANT NO ONE TO SEE HER BUT WISH SOMEONE WOULD I NEED HELP SO BAD PLEAAS

In conclusion. I am completely normal about her. i am completely sane. as her therapist she wants me to tell you that all of the above is false and richgirlyn has no problems and is actually just a silly girl!

-🎏

poor shameless!yn LOL

richgirl!yn definitely has that one sound in her head all the time yk the one where it’s actresses screaming over liquid smooth. 😭

[luckystar1327]

mistborn readthrough. The chapters of Despair. (Ch 51-54)

!!!Well of Ascension spoilers!!!

“The reasons that Kelsier had needed to die were clear to her, but that didn’t make her miss him any less.” Me after finishing tfe

oh no. spook is a kid. oh no absolutely not. if he dies. if he dies tears will be shed. he’s just a kid

aww spook :( baby

OH SHIT OKAY HERE WE GO TIME FOR SOMEONE TO DIE

Oh god. Elend just killed a man. Sweet little bookworm has executed a man.

OH NO :(((((

shiiiit okay theyre fucking dead.

IM SO PISSED I WAS READING AND I GOT TO THE PART WHERE THE KOLOSS BROKE THE GATE AND THEN SCHOOL STARTED NOOOO

K I HAVE FIVE MINUTES GOGO GO

this is not good guys. Koloss.

CLUBS. OH MY GOD.

fuck why is it dox’s pov. fuck oh no.

DOCKSON OH MY GOD NO

im crying in algebra right now help. dox. clubs. oh my god. dockson.

fuck. this is just a slaughter. this is such a stupid goddamn way to die.

breeze :( poor guy

tindwyl. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO FUCKING DIE?

HAHA BYE STRAFF YOU LITTLE BITCH

i gotta stop here. oh my god. i cant do this. I am in SHAMBLES

[darcyolsson]

hello i'm sending you this bc i'm going insane over aled atm and i feel like you Get It. anyway the last couple of chapters have made me so sad for him i feel like i'm grieving a dead character but he's literally right there 😭 but like knowing that the end of heartstopper means the start of radio silence and everything that aled has to go through like ... when he said i'm bad at studying at home i nearly started crying bc yeah of course he is ... and no one knows!! his best friends don't know!!

LITERALLY!! LITERALLY!!!!! that panel literally left 10 dead 14 injured + it being in an update so shortly after me having a full aled breakdown on the dash..... that was personal im barely recovered and now im spiralling again

it's sooo heartbreaking bc aled is kind of letting them in on the fact that Something is wrong, but it's very easy to take it as regular teenage whining (who doesnt get distracted studying at home, who doesn't think their mom sucks when theyre 15) so no one ever questions it or takes it seriously! bc why would they!

plus we know from radio silence that aled does not like to talk ab his home situation-- he genuinely goes quite far to keep frances from ever meeting carol, and when she finally does it's on accident-- so even IF one of his friends would try to dig deeper we know he would not let them. we're literally constantly being reminded that aled is not okay and steadily getting worse but also hiding it very well, SO well in fact that we know it's not going to get better for him before the end of heartstopper. i am in shambles. (and i love it. literally obsessed with the fact that someone who hasn't read radio silence wouldn't even catch on to the fact that something's up w him either just little breadcrumbs of suffering here and there i love you expanded fictional universes)

on that same note, i always kind of assumed we would see aled grow apart from the heartstopper gang, but these past few updates have made me realise that we literally don't have to? n&c make a small appearance in RS where it's evident they're still friends, just not very close ones, but it's like... always been this way?

charlie knows about daniel but as far as we know the rest of the gang might not even know he exists. none of them have any clue his home life is anything except ordinary. tao and charlie are close, as are the girls, but aled does not have anyone he's particularly close to in the group.

i think it's just a part of who he is, aled is very introverted and all of his Friend Space is probably currently being taken up by daniel. and that isn't a sad thing in itself but it's sad that he has many friends who would try to help him if they Knew but fact is aled is not someone who wants to let them know. so they dont. it all makes very much sense so let me repeat myself once more i am SHAMBLES!!!!

[redactedwriting]

Pete finger my mouth and laugh at how wet it makes me and then finger my pussy pleasseeeee

you can’t just say that to me (resident pete girl*)

i’m rly rly getting like. 2007 pete from this. god save me . i’m also getting abap a little bit. MANIA. I TAKE IR ALL FUCKING BACK THIS IS LONG DARK HAIR MANIA PETE AND MY DICK IS IN SHAMBLES

holy fuck

HOLY FUCK.

him kinda teasing you about it, sitting on your lap with his fingers in your mouth, watching your eyes roll back sometimes and water up, your lashes fluttering as you try to keep eye contact but fail, eventually just tipping your head back and shutting your eyes and going loose with your jaw so he’ll just finger fuck your mouth

and he doesn’t have to feel between your thighs to know how wet you are, he’s been doing this with you for years, and he’s just as bad. he will (and has!) entirely gotten off on someone fucking his mouth with fingers before. he gets its. it’s laughing in solidarity (and also because he thinks it’s hot, and it is objectively very pathetic)

(I AM NOT SHAMING YOU, IM THE SAME WAY BESTIE)

but he’d laugh, that little dark chuckle, hooking his fingers against the backs of your teeth on the lower jaw, holding your mouth open and you widen your eyes

this might be too much but. he spits in your mouth ANYWAY UM

he’d get a hand down the front of your jeans and above your underwear and cock an eyebrow at you as both a “is this okay?” and a “you’re so wet from this?”

and you’d nod, yes to both, yes to everything.

he’d rub you over your underwear and keep your mouth open, fingers hooked, and your eyes would roll back and you can’t help but moan, try to open your legs more but the way he’s sitting on your lap with either of his legs on either side of yours doesn’t give you much room

he’d touch you like that, maybe not even going under your underwear to make you come, just rubbing over where you need him most through that fucking evil fabric. and you’d get so whimpery for him, watery eyes when you move your head on his fingers to get him to Really fuck your mouth, get down your throat and make you cry with it. he knows what you need.

[go-to-the-mirror]

headinhands

im not ready for threshold guys! im not! im really not! ive just woken up! oh god, whyyy why must i? it's not fair, it's not fair that i have to do this god damnit.

I'm in shambles and we haven't even started yet.

it's fine. it is fine. alright. lets just. go for it.

hi @a-mag-a-day, threshold time! Mostly rambling, always great words, if I tag it with meta, that means it's GREAT words. You know the drill.

I think it's really cool that this is a continuation/related to a season 1 statement. It really shows how much Jon's changed throughout the years.

He’s just a lonely old man looking for attention and trying to manipulate me into moving back in with him, even though I’ve told him so many times that that’s just not going to happen.

I just feel bad for both of them, both Paul and Marcus. How Paul's actually experiencing this, but Marcus is so... distrustful, for a good reason, that he doesn't believe Paul. That if it just happened a little sooner together then they'd have been able to help each other, but instead all they were able to do was make things worse.

Parallels to Jon and Helen or am I reading too much into it?

And I don’t like being manipulated. I don’t like being lied to.

The Spiral and The Web are pretty similar, you know. What with the whole gaslighting thing of The Spiral, make you doubt yourself, but that's also like manipulation, you know? Can I just gesture to Helen and Jon's whole thing as The Spiral also being a bit of a manipulation fear, because like... yea.

When I was thirteen, it was underneath a railway bridge. It was huge and metal this time, with solid iron bolts sealing it shut and a thick chain stretched across it. The warning stickers had long since peeled off, and someone had scrawled in chalk: ‘Warning: Danger of death.’ As I passed, something heavy began to bang on the other side, sending the chain dancing. It pounded again and again, and I didn’t know if it was trying to force its way out, or politely knocking, hoping to be let in.

Aaaa! Spooky! This statement is, yeah, it's scary, and really cool. I just nhhnhrnnh 10/10! it's so snazzy! This episode as a whole, mate, it's just great.

I was trying so hard to walk carefully, to seem like I wasn’t drunk, that I almost didn’t notice it until it was too late.

My drama teacher says that to act drunk you need to act like you aren't drunk. Like, act like you're acting like you're not drunk. You get it? I've never needed to act like I'm drunk so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

He just wants me to move back in with him, and I can’t. I just can’t. Sometimes, you just have to leave, even if what’s on the other side scares you.

A mic-drop ending again, yay! God, the way the statements end are always so cool, this is one of the most cool ones.

I never thought I’d miss those days, when I could throw out some half-baked speculation about drug abuse or mental illness and, woosh, away all the statements went.

I'm fine okay, it's fucking fine. It's so fine, I'm so fine, like so fucking fine, so much fineness in me. It's like! For Paul MacKensie, he can say that, he can say there's too much that doesn't add up, and that he wants to believe it but can't, he can fucking say that.

But he can't say that about this, he's mag 41 too deep. PODDED CAST!

AAA

But no, almost every one of those statements, those people … That poor old man. Like I can talk. Like I’m in any position to mourn the suffering of the innocent.

So, I was looking through old dms to find my reactions to threshold, and I found something, not on a first listen but here it is:

Last night I was thinking about Jon's line in threshold "Like I can talk. Like I'm in any position to mourn the suffering of the innocent," and literally crying. And thinking about how yk none of the avatars see themselves as undeserving of what they got, right, none of them. And I'm sad about that. It is not only the innocent that suffer. I have so many feelings about Mike Crew now you don't even know girls when girls when (gender neutral) they have a years long villain arc and at the end of it they can't recognize their former self This is about Jon and Mike Crew and Helen and Jude Perry and Hh

(messages to mapleejay (follow it) on the 28th December, 2022)

But there is one thing I know an awful lot better now than I did when I read his father’s statement. I know an awful lot more about doors.

FUCK DUDE YOU SURE DO!

I love him so much.

HELEN You rang? ARCHIVIST Marcus MacKenzie. Why didn’t you tell me? HELEN Is that name supposed to mean something to me? ARCHIVIST No, I suppose it wouldn’t, would it? Just an old man and his son for you to terrorise and feast on.

AAAAAAA JSWDAESDAFIJA THIS THIS ALRIGHT LIKE-

Okay, Jon's fucked up, he has fucked up, but he remembers their names, right? He remembers them. Jess Tirrell. Floyd Matharu. The others that we don't know the names of. Absolutely not proportional, Jon why the fuck did you do that, but like, hey, at least they're still people to him.

Also... "why didn't you tell me?" This implies they've been talking enough for Helen to have told him, which does make sense, actually. I have headcanons post-131. Well, post-132, when Jon's not throwing himself in a coffin, you know?

HELEN Ah, well, the son I was pursuing long before I was even Michael. And technically, I didn’t eat the old man. He passed away from terror before I even got a chance to open properly. ARCHIVIST And his son? Marcus? He was fine when I found his father’s statement two years ago, but now, suddenly, I can’t get through to him. HELEN No, I imagine not. I decided it was time to finish that game a few months ago. ARCHIVIST You… Why?

He sounds so bloody frantic, and just... oh my god just the way he's speaking, frantic and horrified, should he have known that this is what he'd get when he befriended monsters.

Aaaaa threshold <333

HELEN Not sure. I suppose Helen didn’t have quite the same attachment to him as a project. I’m not quite as much for decades-long campaigns of subtle terror these days. ARCHIVIST That’s horrible. HELEN Is it? We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? … Don’t we, Archivist? ARCHIVIST (Softly) Yes.

SCRATCHING AT THE WALLS HNNHHNRNHR

OH MY GODD I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYY IM JUST- AAAAAA SCREAMING CRYING SHAKING JON LIKE A CAT!

I had good words a while ago, again to @mapleejay

ME: To be fair the entire fandom's jon loosing their mind episodes are like the same (A Guest For Mr. Spider, Scrutiny, Can't even type scrutiny Uh the eye opens MAPLEEJAY: true ME: Feel like we as a society should be more obsessed with helen and jon MAPLEEJAY: relistening to the coming storm Again TRUEEE ME: And also whatever the hell eye contact was NO ONE TALKS ABOUT EITHER OF THEM AND HERE I AM ROTATING THEM IN MY BRAIN MAPLEEJAY: punching them beating them up /pos ME: Diversity loss! The distortion is a tory MAPLEEJAY: HAGAGDHQHD ME: But like also jokes aside oh my god them. Like hhhh - the new door where jon saw himself in helen and then helen IMMEDIATELY died - another twist where jon was about to die just like helen did and helen saved him (i actually never fucking saw- JUST LIKE HELEN DID [transcribers note: probably is drawing parallels between Jon almost dying to Michael, and Helen actually dying, and Helen being able to save Jon]) - taking stock where helen asks jon for help when SHE takes someone - threshold where JON goes to HELEN and HELEN (fuck why are they so similar) JON GOES TO HELEN BECAUSE SHE KILLED SOMEONE AND HELEN THROWS HIS VICTIMS BACK IN HIS FACE - a gravedigger's envy where theyRE BLOODY HHHHH WHY NO OK BECAUSE THE HELEN JON DAISY TRIO REFLECT OFF EACH OTHER AND I HATE THEM >:( - checking out WHICH IS IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE EPISODE WHERE MARTIN TALKS TO HIMSELF MIND AND IS LITERALLY THE MOST HONEST WE SEE HIM IN THE WHOLE SEASON LIKE NOT THAT HES LYING TO MARTIN BUT THAT HE'S NOT TRYING WITH HELEN *shaking them vigorously* fucking die

(10th January, 2023)

they. fuck them. god damnit, them <3

HELEN It would be better if you embraced it.

(MAG 146 - Threshold)

HELEN Oh Jon! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it. ARCHIVIST (Sadly) I know.

(MAG 187 - Checking Out)

MARTIN Huh. She couldn’t help what she was, I guess. ARCHIVIST She didn’t even try.

(MAG 188 - Centre of Attention)

Jon and Helen ✨ feelings ✨

I have highlighted those specific lines together so much, like... they just fit. Throwing them at a wall.

ARCHIVIST Were you controlled? HELEN What a delightful thought. I don’t believe so, no, but the Spider’s strings are subtle, so I suppose it’s not impossible. Why? ARCHIVIST I want to know. Can The Web control another avatar, one that serves a different power? Make them do things they don’t want to. Make them find victims, feed. (Helen laughs.) HELEN Perhaps. Perhaps not. Would that make life easier for you? Are you so sure you didn’t want to? (Helen laughs again.)

[ID: CC!GoodTimesWithScar with his head in his hands. /End ID]

ARCHIVIST Been a while since you’ve all come to see me together. I assume it’s not good news.

It starts with him being all... sarcastic and stuff, and then he's like Oh Shit. Oh Fuck. Oh No.

ARCHIVIST And what exactly is on this t— Oh.

OH BOY! OH GOODIE!

oh boy...

oh boy...

BASIRA How many? ARCHIVIST Basira, I— BASIRA How many? ARCHIVIST Four. MELANIE Jesus. BASIRA Including the one on the boat? DAISY What one on the boat? ARCHIVIST Including Floyd, five. MELANIE Jesus.

Firstly, like great voice acting, all of them, all of them. Yeah... I'm not going to say the secondly :D

ARCHIVIST Jess Tirrell, the woman on the tape, she was the fourth. I’d just tried to… I was weak, ravenous. I didn’t feel… The first was a supermarket cleaner, ended up lost for a weak in an endless warehouse. I didn’t even… I just went in for some shopping and he was there and I just… asked. The second was… It was after I got stabbed by Melanie. MELANIE You are not putting this on me. ARCHIVIST No, that’s not what I meant. I was walking the streets; I thought I was trying to clear my head. DAISY But you were hunting. ARCHIVIST Apparently. And I found a woman who, every year on her birthday, wakes up in a fresh grave, just for her. DAISY And the third was after the coffin. ARCHIVIST A man rejected by all who knew him, searching ever darker places for love. When he told me his story, he started weeping maggots. BASIRA Enough. ARCHIVIST I hope so.

IM USUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT WORDING MY THOUGHTS OKAY JUST-

You know what, take a gander through annabelle--cane's tumblr, it has good words. I just sort of went through his tma tag for a while ajsjdjhfs.

BASIRA You’re a danger, Jon, a monster. You’re hurting innocent people. ARCHIVIST So did Daisy. BASIRA Shut up! It’s not the same thing at all!

Like, Basira what the fuck, she's just... she's all like oh wow daisy's better for resisting, meanwhile trying to get daisy to hunt again, enabling her when she did, making all these excuses for as to why daisy's actually better and what she did wasn't wrong and awful.

Yes, I get that that's the whole point of Daisy and Basira as characters.

BASIRA I’ll tell you all what I find. Don’t let him eat anyone’s brain while I’m gone. ARCHIVIST That’s not what I do.

HE SOUNDS LIKE HES SULKING, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

I don't have a conclusion. Shaking Jon and Helen I love them so much. I still need a jon and helen tag. Threshold (starts fucking crying)

[needlab7]

hi i just finished your vwbb fic and im in shambles

the way you wrote wolfwoods steadfast comforting presence, the hole of his absence, his gentle kindess, his everything... the way vash sees and feels about him is how i feel and felt about him while reading trimax and seeing the way i love him perfectly reflected in the way vash does was an absolutely indescribable experience i honestly dont know how to put into words

the trust and the 'of course he catches him', the warmth, every time vash describes something about him as dear or darling or calls him his dearest friend- wolfwood is so so loved, as he should be, as he deserves to be...

and their constant back and forth and how considerate and attentive they are of each other when one of them misses a step, the understanding between them even when they cant say the words, their little 'wolfwood' 'hm?' thing with vash calling his name for reassurance or just because he can and wolfwood always always answering it, 'and silently slipping the promise of every year he has left into the margins' oh god...

im crying writing this, ive cried multiple times while reading, i cried after finishing reading, and i will probably cry again thinking about wolfwood and this fic, thank you so unbelievably much

Hi!! Oh my goodness, I am also crying with you !! ;v;

You are so sweet, I don’t even know where to start. Thank you so much for saying all of that <3 I was dumb enough to open this at work and was frantically fanning my face like no! you cannot cry here!

I’m so glad that you saw a reflection of your feelings about Wolfwood in the way I wrote him and the way that Vash views him. I tried to make him as gentle and soft as I possibly could while maintaining his snappishness because he really is a very tenderhearted person who never got a chance to be. Life and circumstance forced him to be violently defensive of himself and those he loves, and that driving part of his personality and the fear behind it don’t go away. But now he gets to be protective in the gentle way of a big brother or of a dear friend

This is the kind of domestic life he always should have been allowed to have. And now he is able to shed a lot of his self-protective defenses and let himself be as vulnerable as he wants and to feel safe doing it, even if it’s uncomfortable or he stumbles along the way. Because Vash will be there to catch him, too

And of course Vash adores him. But he also sees Wolfwood as the flawed person that he is, and he loves him for and despite it. They annoy each other and piss each other off sometimes, but at the end of the day there is just so much love and care and respect. And it’s fun for them in a strange sort of way to get to be angry about things that matter, but things where the stakes are so far below the life and death level they are used to. Things that they can get past with a huffy conversation or a few hours spent ignoring one another

All of their unspoken communication and awareness drive me absolutely up the wall. I had so much fun trying to find ways that they could learn to fill out and grow together when they’ve both been confined to these restrictive roles for most of their lives. And how they can recognize in one another just how hard they’re trying, and be respectful of the difficulty and thankful for the effort. 

They just…they just love each other so much ;; and I wanted to give them this peaceful and mundane future where they get to be earnest and then embarrassed about it, and say goofy things and heartfelt things and to reach out for help in whatever clumsy ways they are learning to be okay with, and to know ultimately that they are understood and they are loved

This kind of devolved into me just rambling about vashwood…

But again, thank you so so much. Truly, I am so happy that I was able to touch you in some way with this fic, and I am indescribably grateful that you would take the time to let me know <3

[kitten4sannie]

Omg 1 year?!? CONGRATULATIONS!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉I may have not been here for this entire journey but I'm so glad I stumbled upon your blog! You are such a sweet and caring person just in the small interactions we have had ( which I am so grateful for truly😭). But not just that you're an amazing person but you are an amazing writer!! Your work always make my days 100x better! I hope you know how appreciated you are for everything you do🩷 you are someone who inspires me to write someday (when I get the confidence lol) and unleash all these ideas I have! Okay before this gets tooooo long I just wanna say how happy I am for you that you reached 1 year!! And I really do hope you know how appreciated you are🩷🩷🩷 Thank you for being you🩷 ( so sorry if this is so long🥲 )

-genesis🧋

genesissss aren’t you just the sweetest?? *^* <33 thank youuuuu!! i’m so glad you stumbled upon my blog tooo bc our interactions make me so happy~~ i legit squeal and smile so hard when i get notifs for your asks and feedback and the people around me think i’m insane but it’s okay hehe :3 godddd to know that i inspire you and make your days better …. i am in complete shambles ….. ;;;;;; and when you decide to write i’ll be right here to support you!! and if you ever wanna talk fics or anything else my dms are open for you <3 i am actually gonna cry rn fr you’re such a beautiful human being ;; 💖 and no worries about your ask being long okay? i cherish your messages sm!! im sending you sm hugs and kisses and lovee rn i hope you feel ittttt 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞