#I HAVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH HER ALL MY LIFE

[drchucktingle]

On your blog you've talked about dealing with chronic as a result from the stress of masking your autism.

It's a bit of a different situation, but my little sister (who we've begun to suspect has adhd) has been experiencing chronic pain in her arms and legs. I may be totally off base, but I was wondering if a similar stess might potentially be a factor in her pain.

If you're willing, would you mind talking about how your pain affected before you found a way to manage it (I tried searching your tumblr, but not much came up, so sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been answered)?

Thanks either way, I love your books. Love is real!

sure buckaroo GOOD QUESTION. i have had chronic pain in some form or another for LONG TIME in a number of STRESS RELATED WAYS. in past it has been cracking teeth from clenching dang jaws while i sleep and things like that, but a few years ago it was FULL ON BODY PAIN AND TIGHTNESS like every muscle was clenching up. went to the doctor over and over all kinds of dang specialists and it was very difficult to figure out what was going on. eventually landed on a sort of nebulous trot of STRESS but i can get more specific.

there are several things about me that you would never know just from looking or even talking to me for long times. i am a bi buckaroo, i am a non-dysphoric trans buckaroo, i am an autistic buckaroo. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS IS EITHER HIDDEN AUTOMATICALLY OR I AM SUCH AN EXPERT AT HIDING THAT IT IS SECOND NATURE

autism presents its trot in many ways, so my words do not apply to all, but my version is EXTREME ORGANIZATION AND ENDLESS WORK ETHIC. in way of freud (which is a silly way but sometimes good for symbolism talk) i have what you would call an OVERDEVELOPED SUPER EGO which is a double edged sword. i can write 100s of books at an incredible pace, but also feel like my body is constantly collapsing in on itself

this is not really something i consciously think about much, but eventually these health problems started creeping up. it was all from carrying this mystery tension in my body, because while it feels EASY for me to mask i believe all that tension goes somewhere and it stores up and stores up and stores up.

so i think the HEALTHY way that i have found to deal with this (i think of it as releasing the steam valve a bit so the boiler does not break down) is ART. this space where i am allowed to be CHUCK TINGLE and write without obsessing over the spelling or punctuation, or to loudly express my queerness, or explore gender, and to let my neurotypical mask down DIRECTLY RELIEVES my chronic pain because it literally makes my muscles relax.

when i started out this ARTISTIC TROT as chuck i used a LOT of metaphor to keep my privacy, with different words or different versions of people for different things, and buckaroos found this very funny. as a way to express myself artistically i also liked this metaphor trot a lot, but i have also found that the LESS metaphor i paint over my life as chuck, the better it is for my health. if you have noticed, i talk less about some of the parts of my life that were metaphors, or maybe you have seen that my voice has relaxed a bit in interviews, or that i carry myself a little differently over time, this is partially why. (there is another artistic reason that was a planned trot from the beginning and it has to do with my feelings as a young autistic buckaroo of not fitting in on this timeline, but we can dive into that later).

anyway, as PRACTICAL ADVICE i would say that FINDING A SPACE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF WITHOUT FEAR OR MASKING has been the number one trot for me. that can be a pink bag over your head writing hundreds of erotic shorts, or that can be just laying on the ground howling your heart out, or doing whatever stim you need to do.

i will also say that ONCE I REALIZED IT WAS MUSCLE TENSION getting a physical therapist helped a lot. because there are two sides, you have to start releasing steam from the steam valve, but at the same time youve also gotta start HEALING THE DAMAGE. so i think stretching and techniques like that can be very helpful.

hope that helps buckaroo LOVE IS REAL

[poisonlove]

Strange couple | w.a

Pairing: Wednesday addams x reader

Warning: fluffy

"Hello, beauties!" I murmur with a smile plastered on my face as I walk into Wednesday and Enid's room.

I'd had a pleasant and intense morning.

Classes had been really fun and educational, I'd enjoyed the last chocolate pudding left at breakfast, found 5 dollars on the ground, scored the highest mark in Art surpassing my friend Xavier, and literally destroyed Bianca in fencing.

Despite everything, I missed my little and adorable deadly storm. I missed seeing her pitch-black eyes staring at me intensely, her sarcastic remarks, her obsession with being extremely tidy and punctual.

I missed kissing her and teasing her.

"Hi Y/N!" says Enid, full of life. "Someone's in a good mood, huh?" she adds, raising an eyebrow.

I look at my blonde friend lying on the bed with Thing and smile even more.

"Very much," I reply, chuckling.

My eyes shift to the figure on the other side of the room. Wednesday is typing her book with concentration on the typewriter. The sound of the keys furiously giving life to her thoughts fills me with pride.

She was extremely good at what she did.

"Don't you greet your girlfriend?" I ask with a small pout, trying to catch her attention.

Wednesday barely looks up from her typewriter, her face impassive and focused. "Hello, Y/N," she says in her usual calm, deep voice.

I raise an eyebrow, confused.

"Hello? Is that all you have to say?" I ask incredulously.

Meanwhile, I see Thing walk towards me and tug at the hem of my pants. "Hello, little one," I smile sweetly at Enid and Wednesday's friend, scratching his back as a greeting.

"So?" I ask Wednesday impatiently.

"Mmmh," Wednesday murmurs, still engrossed in her work. "Hi, baby," she adds automatically, probably trying to shorten the conversation as much as possible.

Thing starts gesticulating animatedly and I watch him attentively. "I know it's her writing time, but I wanted a proper greeting," I say, rolling my eyes at his comment.

Thing gestures even more quickly.

"I'm not being childish!" I mutter, offended.

I ignore Thing and see Enid barely holding back a laugh, the magazine she was reading abandoned beside her. Her expression tells me she finds the situation quite amusing.

Wednesday finally stops, lifts her gaze, and fixes me with those black eyes I adore so much. "You know my writing time is sacred, Y/N," she says calmly.

Her eyes soften, showing a glimpse of tenderness she usually hides so well. My heart skips a beat, struck by the rare expression of affection I can see behind her impassive mask. Even though her face remains serious, there's a hidden warmth in the way she looks at me.

"But I suppose I can make an exception for you," she adds, and I feel my heart swell with joy.

I smile with satisfaction, approaching her.

"That's better," I murmur as I lean down to give her a quick kiss on the lips. "Did you miss me?"Wednesday looks at me with her typical enigmatic expression.

"Maybe," she says cryptically, then returns to her typewriter.

Enid finally bursts out laughing. "You two are so cute together," she comments, shaking her head amused. "Too cute, even by Wednesday's standards," she adds with a playful singsong as she lies back on the bed and picks up the magazine again.

I approach and wrap my arms around Addams' shoulders, resting my chin on her collarbone.

Wednesday sighs loudly, visibly annoyed.

"You know, Y/N, there are better ways to spend your time," she says in a monotone voice.I chuckle softly.

"I know, but this is my favorite."

I start to annoy her romantically. I stroke her arm and leave open-mouthed kisses on her neck, feeling her skin quiver under my lips. Wednesday tries to stay focused, but I can see that my attentions are distracting her. The rhythm of the typewriter keys briefly pauses, and I notice a typo on the page.Wednesday stops, looking at the page with an annoyed expression.

"Y/N, stop," she says, trying to sound stern, but her tone betrays slight frustration mixed with resignation.

"You stop being so adorable," I whisper, continuing to kiss her neck. I feel a slight shiver run through her body, and this makes me smile even more.

Enid, from her spot on the bed, watches us with an amused smile. "You just won't let go, will you, Y/N?" she comments, shaking her head.

"You're a real nuisance," says Wednesday, trying to mask the amusement in her voice.

"But I'm your nuisance," I respond, playing with her braids.

Wednesday finally gives in, relaxing for a moment. "Yes, I suppose you are," she murmurs, barely turning her head to look at me with an expression that, despite everything, is full of affection. I smile shyly, and Wednesday leans in to give me a small kiss on the lips.

My knees go weak.

"Now leave me alone," she says in a calm and authoritative tone, fixing the mistake she had made.

I huff, but respect her request.

I start pacing back and forth along Wednesday's desk, carefully observing the objects that decorate it.

"Don't make noise," Wednesday mutters in a whisper.

My gaze lingers on a few photos of the two of us, moments captured that tell our story together. In one, we're hugging during a walk in the woods, in another, we're laughing at a school event. Next to them, there's a family photo with Gomez, Morticia, Pugsley, and Wednesday, all with their unmistakable stern looks.

Continuing to explore, I notice a necklace elegantly placed on the edge of the desk. I immediately recognize the pendant, a gift from Morticia to Wednesday, a symbol of protection and affection. The jewel reflects the light with a faint glow, emanating an aura of antiquity and mystery.

Finally, my attention is caught by a knife. The blade gleams in the light of the desk lamp, sharp and perfectly maintained. I can't help but reach out and trace the edge of the blade with my finger, feeling the cold metal against my skin. The knife is a piece of art, encrusted with intricate details on the handle, telling stories of tradition and danger.

"Careful," Wednesday's voice interrupts my thoughts. "That knife is extremely sharp."I turn to her with a mischievous smile.

"I know, but it's fascinating. Where's it from?"

"It was my grandmother's," Wednesday replies without taking her eyes off her work. "A family heirloom. She gave it to me when I turned thirteen."

"It's beautiful," I murmur, placing the knife back carefully.

Wednesday finally looks up from the typewriter, fixing me with slight curiosity. "Are you done exploring?"

"For now," I reply with a smirk.

Did I mention I love teasing her?

In a stealthy move, I grab the knife. Wednesday gives me a sideways glance as I toss it from one hand to the other with precision. She huffs, evidently irritated and gets up from her chair.

"Very funny, now give it back," she says, holding out her hand intensely.

I ignore her and smile even more.

Wednesday approached, determined to take the knife from my hands. I raised my arms, aware that my height gave me an advantage over her petite fury, and continued to provoke her. She pushed me, trying to grab the knife, but a misstep made us fall onto her bed.

“Hey,” I said with a sly smile as I looked at her straddling my legs.

An extremely compromising position.

Wednesday sighed heavily and brought her face closer to mine, making me smile even more. I closed my eyes, expecting a kiss, and sighed, feeling her hand on my cheek.

Our breaths mixed, the heat grew, but then everything faded like a dream.

I blinked in disbelief and saw Wednesday, with a satisfied expression, putting the knife back in its place.

"You two are a strange couple," Enid commented, amused.

“She played dirty,” I protested with a pout.

Wednesday returned to her seat at the typewriter.

“Soon you’ll learn all the tricks, Y/N Addams,” she said with icy calm.

“Aww,” exclaimed Enid with an adorable smile. Her eyes shone almost to the point of tears of joy at Wednesday’s words.

“Y/N Addams?” I asked, confused.

“Soon you will be, my dear,” Wednesday replied nonchalantly, returning to her writing.

For now, I chose not to ask further questions. However, deep down, I knew I couldn’t ignore this new turn in my life with Wednesday Addams at the center of it all.

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙written in the stars | DR3˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: age gap!!

summary: in which you both meet after break ups and mend each other, or in which the world focuses on the wrong things about your relationship

a/n: kind of an old request i never got round to but i fear i need to break up all the charles reqs with some daniel 🙏 hope u enjoy LOL

request!!!: can i req daniel ricciardo age gap fanfic pls plssss

my masterlist

fc: ruby lynn

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by yourbff, friend2, and others

yourusername girl's night 🍕

view all comments

yourbff girl what happened last night 😂

yourusername u know im the last person you should be expecting to remember that

yourbff oh okay valid

friend1 so much fun

yourusername ilysm

friend2 single life suits you babe

yourusername 😀 dont remind me

friend3 miss u wish i could've made it

yourusername soon u lil busy body!!!

yoursister interesting coping mechanism

yourusername learned from the best

yoursister 🤨 who me or mom

yourusername ...both

messages ->

/

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, yoursister, and others

yourbff so is he hot

yourusername YES. SO HOT

yourbff YESSSSS I TOLD U SO

yoursister and this is?

yourusername just a friend 😇

danielricciardo posted a story

liked by landonorris, f1gossip, and others

user1 helloooo???

user2 didnt u & heidi break up??

user3 is this heidi or a different girl

user4 i knew u & heidi didnt break up!!!

user5 so cute

landonorris and who is this?

danielricciardo 🤫

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and others

yourbff HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

yoursister happy birthday my angel :)

friend1 haps baps gorgeous

friend2 hbd

friend3 cant wait to see u later!!!

danielricciardo happy birthday❤️

messages ->

txts between daniel & lando !!

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and others

yourusername it's my party i'll cry if i want to

view all comments

user14 omg??? @.user15 look at this

user15 wtf how did u find this

user14 i jus noticed lando AND charles both followed her recently

user16 yo we got a detective over here

user17 SHE'S 22 YRS OLD???

user18 wowwww so young happy birthday i guess

user19 daniel is dating a 22 yr old...?

user20 kind of weird no

yourbff the most gorgeous girl

yourusername i love u

friend1 WOWWW im in love with you

liked by yourusername

danielricciardo hope you had the best time ❤️

yourusername oh i did, tysm for coming!!

user21 what if they're just friends

user22 😂 yea righttttt

twitter ->

instagram ->

f1gossip

liked by user20, user3, yourbff, and others

f1gossip daniel ricciardo spotted with rumoured new partner 22 year old y/n y/l/n. the two have sparked controversy recently due to their large age gap.

tagged: danielricciardo, yourusername

view all comments

user31 oh so they are dating.....

user32 who even cares abt their age gap as long as they're happy!!!

user33 frrrr they're both adults soo?

user34 right and they obviously just met recently

user35 im jus glad to see daniel moving on from heidi

user36 i kind of love them together

user37 we should just leave them alone

user38 agree it's literally none of our business

user39 sooo cute he's whipped for her i fear

user40 i love them ... LOL

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, and others

danielricciardo life's been a bit of a whirlwind 🌪️

view all comments

user41 omg sooo cute

user42 the candid pics of y/n omg he's obsessed

yourbff you cuties

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername

user43 awww he deserves to be happy tbh

user44 still not convinced on the age gap looool

user45 get over it...

landonorris ur new better half

danielricciardo shut up loser

yourusername yup🙂‍↕️ lando right for once

landonorris feels like ur bullying me but i'll take it

user46 maybe daniel is her sugar daddy

user47 wtf is wrong with you LOL

yourusername 😂😂😂😂😂😂

landonorris HAHAHAHA

danielricciardo hahahaha no way

maxverstappen1 sugar daddy daniel 🤨😨

yourusername 🩷🩷!!!!! my loveeee

danielricciardo 😍 you fixed my heart

yourusername and you mine🥹

user48 SOOO cute i love that they went thru break ups together

user49 they were meant to be

user59 written in the stars ✨

THE END 🩷

[penkura]

You have no idea how happy I am to finally find someone who writes for penguin 😭 he’s so fucking handsome and I love him sm!

Anyways onto my request, could you write a scenario with Law, Penguin, Zoro, and whoever else you’d like, of reader being hit on and then protecting her?

Thank you so much I am obsessed with your writing 😭💛

Yesss more love for Penguin!! He deserves it so much, omg, he's so good!

I've never been hit on before to my knowledge, so I'm just winging it here, but aahhh protective men. <3 I decided to add Shachi to this since he's started working his way into my circle of blorbos, so this my first time writing him in a romantic light lol. I hope you like it!

I'm sorry this took me SO LONG TO DO AAHH. I got back from vacation and life took over again.

Law

Law understands fully that his crew needs time off the Polar Tang every now and then, and that most of the time, that leads to everyone taking over a tavern when you dock, drinking their cares away while he watches to ensure no one does anything stupid. After the one time a fight broke out because Penguin unknowingly hit on the bar owner’s wife was enough, your captain keeps a close watch to cut off anyone who needs to stop before they do something to get you all in another fight.

Still, he has no problems letting you all have some time to relax and unwind, enjoy some drinks and the bad karaoke some of your crewmates partake in, as long as he keeps an eye on you specifically, Law is totally fine with the bar crawls that happen. He isn’t watching you because he doesn’t trust you, it’s the opposite. He trusts you more than anyone else on the crew, that’s why he watches you so closely when you’re out, to make sure you stay safe. There’s too many people out there, men and women, that are willing to lie or take advantage of you to get to him, Law understands that very well.

None of it has to do with the tiny little secret crush your captain has on you, nope. Not at all.

It has nothing everything to do with the guy flirting with you at the bar, it’s definitely not the reason his grip on his glass is so tight to the point you could hear a slight crack. Law can tell you aren’t entirely comfortable, by the nervous smile you have on your face as you inch back a little at a time, but the guy doesn’t seem to get the hint, moving closer, with a drunk grin on his face. Law doesn’t step in right away, just watching to make sure you’re safe. The second you let on that you feel unsafe, or the guy makes the wrong move, he’ll intervene. He has to keep his crewmates safe, small crush or not.

It's not even a minute later when the man puts a hand on your thigh, causing you to stiffen up, that you see the familiar blue from Law’s Room, and suddenly you’re sat in his lap as the drunkard jumps up when you disappear. Law’s arm wraps around your waist as the other guy looks around for you, too drunk to notice where you’ve been placed before he downs his own drink and asks for another, your captain almost sighing relief that he seems to be ignoring your sudden disappearance now.

“Uh, captain…?”

It takes just a moment for Law to realize you’re still in his lap, but he doesn’t bother to push you off or anything, not when he catches the eyes of another patron on you, instead pulling you a bit closer.

“Just stay here. I can keep those drunk idiots off you.”

You feel a bit weird sitting on his lap, but still nod, thankful Law watches out for you all.

You may have to talk to him later though, based on how touchy he seems to be while he keeps you with him, but that can wait. You’ll enjoy it while you can.

~~

Penguin

Penguin trusts you, sometimes he thinks more than he trusts Law and Shachi. He knows that no matter how many people try to flirt with or hit on you, you aren’t leaving his side. You two have been through far too much for you to even think about leaving Penguin at this point, and he does recognize that.

It still doesn’t help the pang he feels in his chest when someone starts to flirt with you, even thought you never reciprocate and instead bring up your boyfriend in retaliation. Most of the time that makes people back off, usually with a dejected look at the fact you’re already taken, and appear to be happily so. Rarely do people try to push and tell you to just forget about him, and when they do, it makes you angry enough to start yelling at them about how awful they are for trying to make you give up the best thing to ever happen to you, it never fails to make Penguin blush and give you all the love and affection in the world later.

Still, this time, he feels like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. An older man flirts with you at the bar, but you of course aren’t interested, making that apparent as you sit with her chin in your hand and barely respond. He doesn’t seem to get that you have no interest in him, even when you say you’ve got a wonderful boyfriend that you’re madly in love with. When you get up to leave, the guy grabs your arm and tells you to forget Penguin, which just makes you mad and your boyfriend quickly gets up to try and stop you from doing anything to get you thrown out.

“Excuse me?! I’m not gonna just ‘forget him’! He’s the love of my life, he’s been with me for years!! You’re insane if you think I’m going to just leave him because you think I’m easy or something! And another thing, I—”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Penguin hooks his arms under yours, lifting you up as you keep yelling and start kicking your legs, he gives a nervous smile to the man and the bartender, “Sorry about her! My girlfriend gets a little angry when she’s had too much to drink! Come on, sweetheart, let’s get back to the hotel~”

Even though you agree, the whole walk there you complain to Penguin about the man that was hitting on you, how he couldn’t take no for an answer, and it makes your boyfriend sigh with a smile.

He’s always the one to pull you from starting a fight, he doesn’t have to protect you most of the time, but he’s always glad to pull you away before you hurt someone.

~~

Shachi

Shachi knows, he knows, that you and Sanji are just friends. You’ve been friends since you were children, your moms were best friends, you and the blond were just very close and spent a lot of your time playing together back then. You’ve told him, multiple times, that Sanji’s flirting with you is a joke, he’s never had romantic feelings for you and vice versa, you’ve always viewed him as a brother.

He just can’t help it and ends up giving Sanji the slightest of glares every time your dear friend flirts with you, even as you laugh and shove his arm, it doesn’t really help your boyfriend in feeling less jealous about it. Does he feel bad about it? Most of the time, yes, but he still ends up putting an arm around your shoulders and either ignoring Sanji’s comments or glaring at him to the point your best friend feels a little awkward.

Shachi is just very protective of you, even about Sanji. He trusts you, but he doesn’t want someone to steal you away and you’re the best thing to happen to him in recent years. You notice it quickly, when Sanji takes glances from you to Shachi and back, so you smile and tell him that Nami could probably use his company, which always gets your friend to throw his flirting and heart eyes to the true object of his affection, and Sanji runs off to her. You feel Shachi physically relax, still keeping his arm around your shoulders though, as you look up at him.

“Shach. He’s my best friend.”

“I know, I just…I’m sorry…”

“No need to be sorry,” you give him a quick kiss that makes Shachi bury his face in your shoulder and wrap his other arm around your waist in a hug, “Just trust me, okay? I love Sanji like a brother, but I love you.”

Shachi nods, telling you he loves you too, and feeling so grateful he has such an understanding girlfriend. He doesn’t feel like he deserves you sometimes.

He tries to not let Sanji’s joking flirting get to him after that, but it can be hard for him at times. At least you know it’s just because he loves you and doesn’t want to lose you.

~~

Zoro

Zoro has never worried about you being hit on by others. You rarely ever reciprocate, only if you really are interested, and that’s only because your swordsman has yet to make a move on you.  Literally everyone around you can see the fact you both have feelings for each other, but neither of you wants to ruin your friendship, so you’ve not even tried to say or do anything to change your status.

So when he sees other bar patrons flirting with you, Zoro doesn’t do much apart from keep an eye on you. He knows he has no real right to, but he’s always ready to jump up and help you if needed, keeping his free hand on his swords just in case someone gets a little too friendly with you. There have been a few times he’s almost jumped up and helped you, but you’ve been able to shake off the people flirting with or touching you easily, normally saying you’d get them another drink but never going back. They’re normally too drunk to notice anyway as you sneak back to your crewmates.

That normally works, but tonight, it seems the man who’s attention you’ve grabbed is a little more stubborn than others. He sits closer than anyone else has, and keeps touching you, even as you remove his hands from you or shrug him off, he still does it. The man has no sense of personal space or your rejection of his touches, it makes Zoro grip his swords a little tighter as he watches. He really wishes he could just go over, tell the guy you’re his, and get you away from him. So at first he doesn’t, Zoro knows you can handle yourself well enough to stop anyone that make you feel uncomfortable, you’re not his partner either, you can do as you please.

But the second he sees the guy’s hand move further up your thigh and you almost seem to freeze, he’s up and by you in a second, pulling you out of your seat and behind him, sending a harsh glare to the patron that dared touch you without your consent.

“She pushed your hands off multiple times, how much does it take for you to get the hint?!”

“Hey man, she—”

“Leave my girl alone or you’re dealing with me next time.”

Zoro doesn’t wait for a response and takes your hand, leading you over to where the rest of your crew is still seated, placing you beside him and not letting go of your hand, even when you try to bring it up. None of them say anything either at first, until Sanji smirks just a bit.

“So…‘your girl’, huh?”

“Another word and I’ll tell Luffy the combination to the fridge lock.”

Even as they all laugh at the horrified look on Sanji’s face, you smile and look at Zoro, mouthing a ‘thank you’ when he looks back to you, before he holds your hand a little bit tighter with a nod.

You could’ve easily thrown the pervert that was touching you to the ground, Zoro even knows that, but he wouldn’t miss the chance to prove how important you are to him and that he can protect you from anything. Not like you needed him to show you that though.

[auroralwriting]

clean 2

tfatws! bucky barnes x stark! reader

bucky and you finally start your life together, washing each other clean of your pasts

word count: 2k | warnings: coupleish fluff with a hint of angst, part one

"Bucky, you have to admit, the navy sofa looks so much better than the green one."

The two sofas were displayed on two sets of phones, seemingly calling to be chosen. It was a tough pick, but ultimately, Bucky knew whatever color you wanted was going to be the one you'd get.

It had been a whole month since your first kisses, since the harsh end of Karli, and the new beginning to much happier lives. So far, the only people to know about Bucky and your relationship was Pepper and Morgan, both extremely accepting of the news. You both decided to wait on telling sam until your apartment was perfectly ready for visitors. That, of course, came with the much needed decoration of the place.

"C'mon, doll. Our sofa now is already so nice." Bucky argued.

Your face was dumbfounded, "Buck, that sofa was the previous owners. Imagine how gross it is, we have to get a new one. Plus, you can't say no to the one who's buying."

Bucky gave a defeated sigh, "I'm pretty sure this money isn't what Tony intended it to be for."

"Well, technically it's all my money since I own the company." You debated with a shrug. "And it's what I intend to use it for, that's all that matters."

So, with a few clicks, the couch was bought.

The apartment was filled with decorations now. It felt so much homier and more comfortable. Now, with you by his side, Bucky finally felt comfortable sleeping in a bed once again. Of course, it was one you had picked out, but Bucky didn't mind; you had wonderful taste.

The vibration of your phone buzzed in your pocket. Pulling it out to look at the screen, you smiled and showed it to Bucky.

"Hello?" You said as you pressed the accept button.

"Hi Auntie Iron!" Morgan's sweet voice came through the phone, out on speaker for you and Bucky to hear. You could see his eyes melt at her words.

"Hi there, Miss Morgan!" You cheered back. "How's my favorite niece in the whole wide galaxy?"

Morgan giggled, "I'm you're only niece!"

"Exactly!" You laughed. "How's Momma? Is she the one who called?"

"No, I'm mad at her." Morgan pouted, causing you to give a cheeky look to Bucky. "She won't let me have more juice pops."

You feigned a gasp, "No she didn't,"

"Tell her I can have all the juice pops ever!" Morgan cried out in exasperation.

"Well, Morgie, Momma said I have to be a better influence on you," You paused, handing the phone to Bucky, "But she never said your favorite Uncle had to be."

Morgan let out a huge gasp, "Uncle Bucky?" She yelled excitedly.

"Hi Morgan," Bucky smiled as he spoke. Bucky was nervous to meet Morgan, and officially meet Pepper, too. After about three and a half minutes, Morgan had Bucky wrapped around her little finger as she dangled from his metal arm. It took Pepper only seven minutes to accept Bucky with welcoming arms, with a slight amount of hesitancy, of course. But seeing Morgan so obsessed with him, it was hard to not crack. Now, you'd have to say Pepper liked Bucky more than you, and you were her in-law. "I hear your Mom won't let you have any more juice pops."

"It's not fair!" Morgan cried, "I only had one. Tell her you said it's okay, Uncle Buck!"

Bucky chuckled, "But did you have a cheeseburger today?"

Morgan went silent, "... No."

"Well that's probably why then," Bucky laughed. "How about this, you promise your Mom you'll eat all your vegetables at dinner and then you can have a juice pop before bed."

Through the phone, it was clear Morgan was gagging. "I hate carrots!"

"Then you probably won't get a juice pop. I'm doin' you a favor, Morg." Bucky said. "Your Mom's stubborn, this is the best deal I can get you."

A large sigh came through, "Fine," Morgan sighed, "But I want a purple one!"

"Then a purple one it is," Bucky grinned as Morgan cheered.

After a few minutes of talking to Pepper after Morgan finally handed the phone over, you laid your head on Bucky's lap as his hand found your hair. "They love you," You smiled.

"I love them," Bucky replied. A small silence ensued right after, and by looking at Bucky's face, his brows all creased and lips pressed together, you knew he was in deep thought.

"What?" You questioned softly, looking up and softly caressing his cheek. "Are you thinking about Steve?"

Bucky took sight of your face and knew there was no use lying. "You always know exactly what I'm thinking about." He mused, watching as you tilted your head slightly. "I'm just thinking about how.. happy he would've been for us."

"You think?" You acknowledged.

"Yeah," Bucky nodded thoughtfully. "He would've been over the moon for us." Bucky sat you up, sitting you down on his lap as his arms enclosed around your waist. "He woulda seen how happy you make me, how loved I feel. He would've had no choice but to love us."

With a small laugh, you put your hands on Bucky's cheeks, "He might've cried if you put it to him like that," You remarked as Bucky smiled softly. "You two are just big ol' softies,"

"Only for you, doll." Bucky's thumbs rubbed soft circles over your clothes in the softest touch he could give.

"What else are you thinking about?" You continued, "There's never just one thought in that mind of yours."

Bucky clicked his tongue, "Are you sure you aren't a mind reader? Maybe that suit is ingrained in your brain or something." You both laughed. Bucky continued, "I'm thinking about if Tony would've been happy for us."

"I think he would've," You answered as Bucky raised a brow. "Buck, I've literally never had a boyfriend longer than maybe two weeks. If anything, Tony would be thrilled I'm not dying alone in the near future." Bucky gave a small lopsided smile as you continued. "But I truly, from the bottom of my heart, believe he would've been so happy I found someone who loves me so much."

"He still would've punched me," Bucky shrugged.

You nodded with a hesitant grin, "Probably, but then he would've loved us."

Quickly, Bucky spoke, his words in a rush. "I wanna tell Sam about us."

Previously, you'd both talked about how you wanted to keep this private. However, it was becoming increasingly harder with the press following "CEO Stark" around everywhere, and how Sam wouldn't stop nagging Bucky about why he's been so off the radar in the last month.

"Are you sure it's time?" You asked softly. "We can still wait if you need time,"

Bucky's heart swelled at your gentle words. You always knew what to say to remind him he's his own person, allowed to make his own opinions, have his own thoughts and feelings. "Yeah, doll. I'm sure I'm ready."

"Okay," You nodded, a small smile creeping on your face. "When do we wanna tell him?"

"How about I invite him over to see the newly decorated place, and then we tell him together, in person." Bucky offered. He was always so good at making the best plans.

You nodded quickly, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pulled him in for a kiss. "That sounds wonderful," You agreed as you pulled apart.

"Man, this place looks great!" You heard Sam remark as he walked into your living room. Right now, you were waiting in Bucky and your bedroom for the right time to come out. "Did you hire some interior designer to do this? No way your taste picked out this shit."

Bucky laughed, "No, but I'll give your compliments to the chef,"

You could hear them walking around, "I'm proud of you, Bucky, really. You're doing great for yourself."

"I've had a lot of help along the way," Bucky replied. You didn't hear any footsteps anymore, so you assumed they were sitting down.

"Damn, this is a nice couch." Sam commented. You gave yourself a metaphorical pat on the back, you knew the navy one would be the best. "It's soft, this is nice. I could sleep here." After a beat, Sam asked, "So, what have you been up to?"

"I could ask you the same, Cap," Bucky teased.

Sam laughed, "Not too much, just a lot of press, then going back home to be with the family."

You could tell Bucky was probably nodding along, humming in reply like he always did. "Look, man. I have something I've been wanting to tell you." This was it.

"Oh God, who did you piss off this time?" Sam sighed as Bucky chuckled.

"It's not that bad," Slowly, you opened the bedroom door as quietly as you could and hid behind the wall, right around the corner to the living room. "There's something I- we've, been meaning to tell you,"

Before Sam could reply, you turned the corner and gave a small wave, leaning up on the fronts of your feet nervously. "Hi, Sam."

The look on Sam's face was so priceless you wished you would've taken a photo. For a moment, he just gaped at you, looking back and forth between Bucky and you. Then, the biggest smile known to man pushed its way through as he stood up, tightly hugging Bucky and giving him a clap on the back. "Man, I knew something was up with you!" Sam made his way over to you and gave you a tight hug. "And I knew Bucky wasn't the one to make this place look as nice as it does." The three of you laughed as you sat down next to Bucky, his arm wrapping around your waist.

"Any questions?" You asked as Sam sat down next to you. His eyes glimmered as he beamed.

"So many," Sam replied quickly. "One, who started this? Two, how long? Three, who else knows? Four-"

Bucky held out a hand, "Let's just start with three for now. Technically me, I kissed her first."

"And its been about a month now," You continued. "The only other people who know are Pepper and Morgan."

Sam raised a brow, "What was the jury's vote?"

"Jury voted in favor," You responded. "Bucky's already Morg's favorite uncle."

Bucky's face turned pink in embarrassment as Sam laughed, "Wow, Uncle Buck. I didn't know you were such a child magnet. All the kids you meet love you."

"What can I say, I'm just a people person." Bucky joked.

"It's just the metal arm," You joked as Bucky squeezed your side causing you to sequel lightly, pushing yourself into his side as he chuckled. "Soon we're hopefully gonna get a cat, too."

Bucky sighed, "Doll, I've already told you, we cannot get a cat."

"You'll love a cat!" You cried, "Plus, you're an animal person, you can't lie about that."

Sam chimed in, "Its true. When he met Kate Bishop's dog, he couldn't leave that thing alone for more than two minutes."

"It was the dog who couldn't leave me alone," Bucky scoffed.

The three of you continued to laugh and talk all night. Sam eventually convinced you both to come down to Sarah's again to spend some more time there. Of course, you quickly agreed. Now that your best friend and close family knew, it felt like all was becoming normal for once in your lives. Now was the time you began to shed yourselves free of your past and make a happier future together. Finally, you were both clean.

[cosmicdream222]

Welcome ✨

Call me Cosmic. she/her. Millennial.

I blog about manifesting, loa, reality shifting, the void, etc. If that isn’t your cup of tea, peace out 👽 Asks & DMs are open as long as you are kind & respectful but please read through the FAQ before asking anything!

★ About me ★

I started making aff tapes & subliminals for myself & sharing them here on tumblr in the fall of 2023, and began posting on yt in April 2024.

YouTube channel 📌Previous pinned

Void, shifting & loa stuff compiled from others

The void explained in an old reiki book

An interview with a shifter who has been time-leaping since 2001

The void explained by a lucid dreaming instructor

Near-death experience & manifesting

Misc inspiration from loa twitter

More motivation from loa twitter

Just desire, intend & know it's possible

The universe is a giant hologram

You already have it all

Master Shifter Love Remix Series

How shifting works (the whole package)

Shifting is a law - so treat it like one

Shifting is the least special thing in the world

Shifting/manifesting is not your job

You deserve everything you want

Vanilla explains: Past Lives, Death & Afterlives

Resources, Challenges & Methods

DMT breathwork to enter the void

Wake up with your dream life: affirm & relax challenge

EFT tapping script

Manifesting is not a process challenge

What is Psych-k?

The Phase Basics

SSILD for lucid dreaming

Tips for lucid dreaming

Dream life script Google doc template

My OG void concept aff tape

My Void state subs on Google drive

Full desired appearance & beauty sub

FAQ: Read these before sending a question!

"Can I manifest...?"

YES. It doesn't matter what it is: the answer is always yes. You can manifest anything you want. Anything!

I will no longer be answering any questions about deadlines/time

About me & my personal experiences & successes

The time I entered the void before I knew what the void was

How do you personally manifest?

Have you entered the void?

Backstory about me and this blog

A quick example on affirming to combat negative thoughts

Success: reconnected with sp after 8+ yrs NC

Manifesting/shifting/void 101

What is the state of the wish fulfilled?

A reminder not to create stories around unwanted circumstances

What is the void?

How do we manifest?

States are not a method

Persisting does not mean repetition

How do I persist properly?

Does robotic affirming work?

What is a saturating session?

Is birds before land a thing?

How do I improve my visualization skills?

How can I manifest in a scientifically proven way?

Doubts/fears/troubleshooting

Is shifting real?

What happens to my current self after shifting?

When we manifest are we shifting to a new reality?

When I manifest something, will other people see it too?

How can I stop obsessing about results?

I’m scared I’m abandoning/betraying people in this reality when I shift/enter the void

Why do some people fail?

What am I doing wrong?

I have doubts, what if this doesn’t work?

How do I convince the logical part of myself?

How can I ignore my toxic/negative circumstances?

What should I do if I’m overthinking?

Funnies :)

The affirming carrot

Me not reacting to 3D circumstances like

[ghettogirly]

how would a yandere/obsessive armando, where he wants the reader for himself and will do whatever it takes to have her, (she falls little by little for him) 🔥💗

P.S., I love youuuuu 🌷✨💗🛐

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍:

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄!𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

-> synopsis: how would armando be as a yandere?

-> theme: dark + obsessive themes.

-> format: headcanon.

-> warning: use of the n-word, armando is the real abuser, mention of abusive relationships, mention of domestic violence, verbal abuse, do not read if unstable relationships trigger you!

-> authors note: sorry for no post yesterday guys, i haven’t been well! i wanted to do this as a headcanon rather than a particular one shot. hope you enjoy, love you too!! 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝!

💿 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐓𝐎𝐗𝐈𝐂 - 𝐊𝐄𝐇𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐈

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[🕷️] 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

-> initially, he saw you arguing with your man outside late at night. he was getting all up in your face while you was there angrily-crying.

-> he was calling you all sorts of names, “bitch ass nigga” , “hoe”, any name you can think of, he said it.

-> armando was just watching from his car as he was pulled up on the street, leaving this clients house.

-> so when he saw a beautiful girl like you being berated by someone who’s supposed to love and protect you, it’s safe to say he was enraged.

-> the way your clothing accentuated your every curve, the curls bouncing on your shoulders and your full two-toned lips perfecting your face.

-> safe to say he was pissed with your boyfriend, who wouldn’t even appreciate what he had in front of him.

-> he didn’t intervene that night, wanting to just observe and see the dynamics before he did anything drastic.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[🕷️] 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

-> weirdly enough, you would spot this man every time you went shopping.

-> he was just in his own world, getting food and snacks, until one day you saw him pick up a bouquets of flowers

-> a hint of annoyance took over your face as you reminisced on the relationship you had with your boyfriend, whoever has this gorgeous man as their partner was lucky.

-> and i mean real lucky.

-> it was time for you to pay for your shopping and you was £20 short. Sighing, you was ready to just leave it all there and walk out as you picked up the wrong purse from your house.

-> “i’m so sor-“

-> “i’ll pay for it.”

-> it was the same handsome male you saw before, now offering to pay for all your food shopping. His hair was cleanly cut and his beard freshly groomed, he slightly smirked at you while handing you his card to tap onto the card machine.

-> “are you sure-“

-> “just use it amor.”

-> that was the day your heart warmed up for him a little more.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[🕷️] 𝐁𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

-> you spotted him at more places.

-> in the park, local corner shop, town centre, even the gym.

-> was you confused? yes.

-> did you care? no.

-> every time he saw you, he always checked up on you. Asking how you are, how work is, how is home life.

-> he even asked you out, which was a surprise, considering you thought he had a girlfriend.

-> “those flowers?? oh those were for my mom,” he reassured, slightly laughing.

-> “oh!!”

-> nevertheless, you had to reject him because you was still with that useless man. To which he did not understand.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[🕷️] 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

-> that wasn’t until your “boyfriend” put his hands on you was when you snapped back into reality and realised how abusive he was towards you.

-> even if you didn’t snap back into reality, armando would make sure you would. “¡No puedes seguir soportando este abuso!”

-> he was right. why was you still with him?

-> armando was there every time you was hurt, taking care of you, showing his love for you.

-> so you finally got the courage to stand up to him and leave him, with armando by your side. Your boyfriend obviously did not take it well, screaming and throwing things but he did not touch you, not wanting to take his chances with the muscular male that was beside you.

-> it was over.

-> While you went to the car to load up your things, armando suggested to wait in the house to collect the last of your belongings so your ex did not try anything.

-> "Aquí está lo último del dinero. Lo hiciste bien".

-> Your ex nodded and walked upstairs.

-> Walking out of the house, Armando met you in the car. “Everything okay?”

-> “Never better. Él nunca te volverá a hacer daño.”

-> placing a big kiss on his lips, you smiled. never even batting an eyelash to the though of Armando, your saviour, was the reason for your ex’s abuse.

-> just in order, to push you to the edge in order for you to become vulnerable and love him.

-> after all, it was pretty easy to convince your ex boyfriend. A couple thousand of pounds makes everyone happy, right?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[🕷️] 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

“¡No puedes seguir soportando este abuse!”: you can’t keep taking this abuse!

"Aquí está lo último del dinero. Lo hiciste bien". : Here is the last of the money. You did well.

Él nunca te volverá a hacer daño.” : He will never hurt you again.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[🕷️] 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @shurisgf @milliumizoomi @deadpool15 @5tarlan7 @thedarkworldofhananerea @tyneshaaa @wizewhispers @armandosbabymama @sarcasticbitchsblog @dyttomori @amplifiedmoan @azaleeia

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐..?

[heartsofminds]

i'm calling just to hear you scream - part i

"She’s tried to be positive. She’s tried to be kind. She’s trying to be the peacekeeper, but all of that falls out the window when her brother is bitching out everything that fucking blinks and breathes and Richie has slung a sledgehammer into the wrong wall that needed to be knocked down." or Natalie gets fed the fuck up and hires a hospitality attorney before everything else turns to shit. 

a/n: i couldn't help myself at all and had to bite by trying my hand at writing for carmy! what can i say? i love men with trauma that need to be cuddled like newborns! please enjoy the beginning of enemies to lovers to enemies back to lovers fic with a workaholic chef and an overly empathetic attorney. angst is my brand! i hope you enjoy!

Being the peacekeeper of your family is never something anyone ever sets out to be. 

One day you’re normal and live blissfully with the rose-colored lenses of naivety tinting life shades of bashful blush and magnetic magenta. The next day you’re diffusing a spitfire scarlett dispute between your anxiety-ridden mother and impulsively crude older brother while simultaneously taming the balloon of battered blue tears your baby brother sheds who observes from the corner; scared yet somehow unaware of the emotions sucking the oxygen out of everyone. 

At first, it feels good. It feels nice to be appreciated and turned to in moments of darkness. Helpfulness defines your livelihood and gives you the nameplate of the gold star child who can never do any wrong and always finds a solution. But then you realize that is what you ever really are, and you’re both hated for your inability to let things sour and for always having an answer despite uncertainty plaguing every course of action. 

Being the peacekeeper of your family is both a Medal of Honor, worn with pride and graciousness, yet a bullet wound wielded by shame and agony. The tenderness and hurt push on it until you can hardly stand it; half expecting pus to be seeping out in pale yellow heaps because the pain feels so real. 

There are no exit wounds. There are no breaks. There is no humanity or personal identity or room for self-discovery. 

A peacemaker is all you will be and all you will ever accomplish, and you’ll never say it out loud but it’s fucking exhausting. 

Being the peacemaker is something Natalie Berzatto never fucking asked for, yet here she is, playing project manager to her haywire (and sometimes freakishly obsessive) baby brother’s blind-eyed throw of a dart that manifested itself in asking Uncle Jimmy for an eight hundred thousand dollar loan with the promise to have it completely paid back within eight months. 

She’s not one to rain on a parade, but it’s hard to keep marching when your entire life has been putting out the fires of overly ambitious business ventures during unmedicated fits of mania. She had seen it with their dad, with their mom, and with Mikey. Carmen is the last needle needed to complete the fucked up haystack that engulfs their family. 

She’s tried to be positive. She’s tried to be kind. She’s trying to be the peacekeeper, but all of that falls out the window when her brother is bitching out everything that fucking blinks and breathes and Richie has slung a sledgehammer into the wrong wall that needed to be knocked down. 

Natalie has never thought of looking into Botox until now; when her face is set in a permanent scowl and her resting heart rate nears triple digits. Pete had been telling her for the past three weeks that she was doing amazing; that this was an impossible task to complete stress-free, and that the stress was “good” because it meant that she cared. 

Sometimes she doesn’t realize that not everyone has a mom who drives the fucking car through the den during Christmas Eve dinner nor does everyone have a mom who moves all the furniture to the backyard before having to leave for their oldest brother’s high school graduation. Not everyone has an older brother who blows his head off and doesn’t leave a note and not everyone has a younger brother who would lose his head if it wasn’t attached to his body and had his mouth that was spewing hurtful insults by the dozen.

Stress does not mean that you care. Stress means that your eyes are staring at the fucking Sun trying to see where the other shoe is getting ready to drop because there’s always another disappointment and always another phone call to make to the pharmacy for more SSRIs. 

Needless to say, Richie calling Neil “lard ass” on an antagonizing loop after he had pointed out the wrong wall was being destroyed was the last straw. Well, that and the fact she found a new patch of white hairs colonizing on her hairline the other morning. Constant shouted insults, gray hairs popping up overnight, and the colossal secret of a new infant making its arrival into the chaos in October weigh heavy on her. And she absolutely cannot afford to lose her cool and become the kind of bitchy and mean she knows that she’s capable of. 

Your phone number sits inside the LED-lit text thread of a friend she had known in high school. Becca was the older sister of Claire Cantor whom her little brother may have or may have not had a pathetic crush on years ago when he was in high school. 

She feels kind of grimy doing what she is; offering up information about Carmy to Becca to give to Claire who apparently thought her baby brother was the bee's knees (which, if she saw the way he was acting right now, Natalie knows she would run the other way). She doesn’t even think Carmen has the capability to think of anything outside of the restaurant and the menu and how royally fucked they all are. 

She can feel the dull ache of guilt in her chest that comes with knowing how unlikely anything is to come from this, and how wrong she is for pretending like her telling Becca where he grocery shops or if he has a girlfriend or if he was currently looking for someone to date would somehow tether Claire to a world where her and Carmen are a “thing” (because apparently “boyfriend and girlfriend” is too permanent of a word for Chicagoan twenty-somethings to use). 

But she’s doing it for the sake of everyone else! It can’t possibly be as gross and low-lived as she feels it is. 

Becca Cantor is insufferable and can only be taken in small doses, but she’s also a big wig junior partner at one of the most lucrative law firms in Chicago. Natalie hates blowing smoke up people’s asses who don’t deserve it (and in Becca’s case certainly don’t need it), but she desperately needs help and knows that she needs to figure something out before she fucks herself in such a deep hole that she couldn’t attempt to unfuck herself if she tried. 

Your official title is “junior associate” and you had been working at Becca’s firm following your graduation from Northwestern’s Pritzker School of Law a couple of years prior. Becca had said you were amazing; freakishly smart, funny, and hardworking. She also mentioned that you were the best kind of junior associate; the ones that know when to shut the fuck up and when to get the fuck out of the way. The addition added before the text conversation ended was how you were looking to get your foot into the hospitality legal field, and how you were willing to do anything concerning that for free fucking ninety-nine if it meant you would have some experience. 

Natalie sits with her lower lip worried between her teeth and her hands one tick shy of shaking. Her heart beats erratically despite lounging on her couch with the lights off and a re-run of That 70’s Show playing softly in the background. She makes a mental note to bring up the high resting heart rate at her next OB appointment. 

It’s because she’s pregnant. Yes. It has to be because she’s pregnant. 

She shouldn’t be nervous. It would be absolutely ridiculous to be nervous. She’s not nervous. 

She already ran the idea past Sydney and she agreed that they absolutely needed a lawyer in their back pocket. With all of the tax records fucked beyond belief, new workers being hired who actually knew their worth and wouldn’t tolerate not having an actual employement contract, and the lack of permits under their belt currently, a lawyer wouldn’t hurt if getting one turned out to not be as helpful as anticipated. Besides, Becca had said you were doing it for them pro bono which in turn meant free fucking nintey-nine. 

But Natalie had lied to Carmen about how much some fluted cocktail glasses cost to ensure that they purchased the cheaper ones so that she could run the numbers and figure out a way to put you on the payroll. Pro bono or not, you’re doing them a huge favor and part of her can’t put the peacekeeping to rest. 

Her fingers type and untype a novel of characters. She can’t seem to relax her mind enough to articulate what exactly she wants to say. She has one shot to not scare you off and not lose her mind in a fit of fiery rage and not have everything turn to shit and it be her fault. She has to be perfect. 

Fuck. She is nervous. 

Hi! This is Natalie Berzatto. I’m one of Becca Cantor’s friends and she referred me to you. I’m working on opening a restaurant and would like for you to swing by and discuss some things about it if you’re open to that! Please let me know. I’m looking forward to hearing back from you soon! 

Nat’s finger hits the blue “send” arrow in the rounded box of her phone screen the same time she pushes a gag to the back of her throat. She used to work at a marketing firm for Christ’s sake. Cold contacting people isn’t anything new and she’s usually not one to shy away from reaching out to anyone in her personal life first. But she can’t help the fact that she’s never been able to swallow the artificial bubble gummy niceness of reaching out to a complete stranger for the first time. She feels stupid and knows that she sounds even stupider but tries not to think about it. 

Besides, keeping everything together is never easy and she knows that she would be selfish for letting her discomfort prevent her from doing what she knows is best. 

Her breath is stuck in her chest as she eyes the open text thread to an unsaved number; her blue text message staring at her menacingly and breeding contempt as the seconds pass. She gasps loudly whenever she sees the gray bubbles pop up beneath it. Pete pokes his head into the living room with a tea towel in his hand and one of the ceramic plates they had eaten dinner on in the other. His eyes wear concern but he knows better than to confront his wife. Natalie was anything but sugary sweet when she was stressed and the influx of hormones as of late have not been helping. 

You see the message as soon as Natalie sends it. The unknown “312” number finds its way into your notifications and your eyes read over the words in a frenzy. You know that you’re intelligent. You graduated from law school for fuck’s sake, but for some reason you absolutely cannot comprehend the text you’re reading. 

Firstly, you were sure Becca hated your fucking guts. She was a junior partner that everyone hated being assigned to because she pushed all her work onto the associates and nothing ever seemed to be good enough for her. Part of the reason you had to take work home tonight was because she sent you an email with enough passive-aggressive undertone to know that these edits needed to be done now; never mind the fact that the time she took to type out the seven and a half page report about the original report probably took up so much time that she could’ve done the task herself. But yet you replied kindly and have been working through your brain fog and finger cramps since arriving home at six in the evening five hours ago. 

Secondly, hospitality litigation was absolutely above your pay grade. You had taken one elective course on it during your 2L year and did a two-week internship before the start of 3L simply because one of your friends wanted to go on vacation and needed to find someone to cover for them. You know jack shit about hospitality law and you don’t even know why Becca Cantor, of all fucking people, would be so willing to recommend you when she couldn’t care less if you lived or died. 

But of course, you can’t say no. You can never say no, and if this Natalie person was desperate enough to reach out to you via text at 11 PM on a Wednesday, she definitely needed help and needed it now. Besides, you would tell her that you do not need to be paid and if whatever she needs proves to be way too advanced for you, you can always help her find an attorney that knows what they’re doing.

Right? 

It definitely doesn’t mean that you’ll pull an all-nighter and research every aspect of hospitality law in Illinois that you can get your hands on. . .Or look up every department dealing with food and management regulations in the state. . .Or try and look at precedent cases. Your firm gave you unlimited access to West Law. Might as well use it for something slightly more interesting than trusts, estates, and contracts. 

You’re unusually pensive for something you know you would love to do. The ongoing battle as of late has been the dispute between seeking joy and wading in practicality; happiness or falsified peace? 

You rub your eyes with a roughness that would make your optometrist cringe. You know that staring at your computer screen five hours after your contracted work hours ended was the culprit for your dry eyes, but the hours you need are not going to bill themselves. Getting up to get your eyedrops will have to wait.

Replying to Natalie cannot. 

Your fingers type and untype; the feeling of texting back an unknown number foreign and unnerving. 

Thanks so much for reaching out and thinking of me! I would love to. What dates and times work for you, and where would it be best for us to meet? 

The text stares at you on your phone screen. Why do you sound so. . . corporate? Boring? Infantile.

She could probably tell you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about at all. The feeling of defeat rises in your throat but you ignore it and hit send instead. You’re trying to be better about that; letting your fear of uncertainty keep you from taking action. You’ve come to realize that the hard part isn’t doing the thing. It’s actually sitting in the aftermath of the “thing” and waiting for the rest of the world to catch up. 

You bite your lip so hard it begins to bleed and throbs with each pulse of watery blood that fills your mouth. The gentle suck you give it to stop the bleeding makes it partially numb. 

Fuck you, Becca. Fuck you, Becca. Fuck you, Becca. 

Natalie chirps when your text illuminates her screen. She gasps and sits up; startling Pete who had settled next to her after finishing the dishes. Her eyes curl up in the same way her lips do. 

Fucking finally. 

The world no longer feels like it’ll fall apart.

[actually-well-written]

THE HASHIRAS ARE ALL VIRGINS AND HERE'S MY ARGUMENT

Ok, ok, first of all, we should get something out of the way.

Tengen Uzui is NOT a virgin.

He might be the only one that isn't. He has three wives, first of all. pretty attractive ones too but it's not just that he's married either.

The characters have stated and acknowledged the fact that he's really attractive multiple times, not to mention even before meet his wives he was still a ladies man. So it's safe to assume even before beening his wives he was still NOT a virgin.

And besides, he has a son. So even in the rare case that he was, he's definitely not anymore

R.I.P. Uzui you would have loved saying Rizz 😔😔🙏🙏

Ok now, let's begin.

Shinobu kocho is a virgin.

First of all, she's a workaholic, she had to be a hashira, the head of her 'hospital', the teacher to Kanao, and not to mention she has been working on the poison for Domua and Muzan as well as the cure. I doubt she has any free time and if she did, I wouldn't be surprised if she used it to sleep or something, no time to go out and find someone poor girl is working herself to death og

Another thing is, she doesn't seem like the type to even what to get some action. First of all, there's her little obsession with poisoning people and threatening to kill people all the time, so that might be a bit of a repellent.

All though, characters have stated and treated her like a godness, because of her beauty. Therefore I believe if she was offered a chance she would decline probably a little passive aggressively also I feel like she believes that kind of thing just doesn't matter for her, given the fact she's been planning her death for years and probably just wants to stay pure enough for heaven when her short time comes to an end.

R.I.P. shinobu, you would have loved true crime documentaries 😔😔🙏🙏

Obanai Iguro is obviously a virgin.

He's literally had a fear and hatred for women because of his past, it's even been stated that he has a hatred to the demon slayer women, because he believes they are emotionally closed off. Which causes me to safely assume, that even if he wanted too, he believes that you can't have sex without the love.

Which also makes his love for Mitsuri even more pure, because he would absolutely still love her the same if she where to tell him he could never touch her again. He loves her for her soul and her love ❤️

R.I.P Obanai you would have loved Internet stalking 😔😔🙏🙏

Mitsuri Kanroji is a virgin.

Need I prove it? Fine, it's literally stated that before joining the corps, she has no luck with men dumbasses and she also explained that the reason she joined the corps was to find a man that would want a women like her. This proves that Mitsuri has not met a man that wants to be with a woman like her idiots therefore, she has no experience.

And I have the feeling that she also believes that you can't have sex without the love and if she was given the chance, she would politely decline. She would want to save herself for a person she would want to spend her life with. She also seems like the type to want a men to just hold her hand for 6 months getting to know her until they were to do something that intimate.

R.I.P. Mitsuri you would have been a Hello Kitty girl 😔😔🙏🙏

Kyojuro Rengoku is a virgin.

Alright, at first, I was sure this man was NOT a virgin. He's kind, he's handsome, and multiple women have admired him, but then I thought about it more.

First of all, almost everything he's done was to please his father, granted he eventually stopped trying so hard, but still. Given that mindset, he would want to be with someone that his family would approve of, and he couldn't do that with just anyone.

Say what you will, but I believe Rengoku's the type to get too attached to a person if he were to be intimate. Sex is a very vulnerable bonding moment after all. Also, before the death of his mother, it's very implied that he witnessed true love through watching his parents, he would want to have that for himself as well.

I feel like if he wanted to have that kind of intimacy it would be because he is married to them and because he wants to have children, therefore I believe he is a virgin by choice. Probably waiting for marriage or at the very least, a person he knows will be the mother to his children.

R.I.P Rengoku you would have loved buffets 😔😔🙏🙏

Giyu Tomioka is a virgin.

You would assume that he is a virgin. I mean, he's very closed off, quiet, accidentally comes off as rude, and he's very clueless, and is seems he spends a lot of his time being depressed.

Another thing is also that inferiority complex he suffers from. I believe that it goes farther from jaut believing he doesn't belong with the rank of the other hashira's, but it also goes into his daily life. And probably also makes him believe he doesn't deserve the 'cravings' of a man.

I also have this feeling that if he was given the chance, he would be very clueless or decline in a pretty dull voice he doesn't mean too, not to mention he makes a pretty big deal when people talk to him, implying he's not used to people demonstratimg behavior that shows they have interest in him

The thing is though, of he really wanted too, he could easily get as much game as he wanted too.

I mean, throughout the anime is implied that even the other hashira's notice how attractive giyu is, which might I add, says a lot, considering they all think he's rude.

And besides, he doesn't exactly act like he doesn't know how to pull, I mean come on, we can see that attitude he gets when Sanemi pushes his buttons far enough or when he grows some confidence for a few seconds 👀👀

R I.P Tomioka you would have loved animal crossing.😔😔🙏🙏

Sanemi Shinazugawa is a virgin

I know some people are gonna get a little butthurt on this one, but here me out.

Ok, first of all, there's that attitude of his. If you were on the street and a man was yelling at his younger brother for some stupid reason, would you find that man attractive after? I don't think so. And it's not just that, he's pretty aggressive, he's inpatient, and frankly he's scary looking. If a women were to be able to handle that trauma coping personality then I kinda doubt that in this area of time, all his scars would have been an attractive factor to some people.

I mean think about it, if your a village girl and a men looking like him come out of no where, wouldn't you be jumpscared?

Ok, but let's say it's a women from the corps, surly they would understand scars happen right? Well, sure, but here's a thing people keep forgetting. He's shy. Gyomei has stated that Sanemi is actually very shy at times. If he looked at a women that way, he would get really ashamed or embarrassed by it, and would probably avoid the said person. That been said, if he was given the chance then maybe he would take it.

Nah, who am I kidding, he would most definitely take it, but then here's another thing. I feel like he would get attached. Like I said, sex is a vulnerable bonding moment, no matter the situation. If he got with a women I'm pretty sure there is a huge chance he would end up being very close to that person and then feel conflicted but he doesn't want to get attached.

Therefore sex with Sanemi would have to be with someone he loves, because he would be aware that he would catch feelings. Argo, he's a virgin, because he refuses to risk losing another person that he loves. poor baby

R.I.P. Sanemi you would have loved raging at little kids in video games 😔😔🙏🙏

Gyomei Himejima is a virgin.

He's a virgin by choice. That's it. If he wanted to he easily could. But he doesn't want to and never will. Why? Well, probably because he wants to focus his attention on more important matters, like training, protecting children, prying for the departed souls, fighting demons.

And also, he has the sexual desires of a buddhist monk. He just doesn't care for this stuff. The end.

R.I.P. Gyomei you would have loved prayer rooms in airports 😔😔🙏🙏

Muichiro is a minor.

Thank you for listening to my argument and I hoped I have proved my point. Everything I have said today, is my opinion and should not be taken so seriously. Please don't attack me.

[unseededtoast]

Shadow of Obsession | Spencer Reid x Reader

Part Six

Series summary: In which you find that love is an obsession that can quickly spiral out of control.

Also cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. Link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

*Content warning: description of sexual activity*

My hands should be on her smooth, soft skin. My lips should be on hers. Not his. Never his.

The miniscule camera remains where it was found, seemingly taunting you with every red blink. You and Spencer had both agreed that leaving it there was the best course of action. Taking it down or purposely covering it would tip off the stalker that they had found it. And who knows what kind of reaction that would invoke.

The two of you knew that it had recently been placed there, as Spencer would have noticed it earlier from one of the several nights he stayed over. After the discovery of the camera, a sense of dread filled your chest. You worry about what the stalker might have seen through the lens. If the stalker saw you on top of Spencer, then it's likely that something else is going to happen soon. That's just the nature of these cases, you had seen it time and time again.

And since then, neither you nor Spencer, had brought up the incidents from yesterday. The kiss shared in your bed, the passion on the living room couch. You know it had been real for you, but a tiny voice in the back of your mind wonders if he was just trying to keep you calm in the midst of this situation.

You remembered one case in particular, a while back in California, with a similar scenario. Spencer was placed on security detail for a woman and he ended up kissing her. He told the team it was to keep her from becoming overwhelmed with the situation, that she likely would have spiraled into a state of panic. He further elaborated that he gave her something to stay distracted. And you wonder if yesterday was all just some elaborate distraction.

Your heart sinks, saddened to think how you're supposed to move on from here if it was all just a ruse. There's no denying it, you've had a crush on Spencer since your early days at the BAU. You had tried to suppress it for as long as you could because you didn't want to ruing your professionalism or the team dynamic. But yesterday you were no longer able to withhold from your urges.

And now that you've had a taste of him, you never want to let him go. You want to be able to feel his hands on your body, feel his lips on your neck. You want him all to yourself, selfishly and shamelessly. Being the center of his attention like that was like a drug, one that you seem to have gotten hooked on the first time around.

The thought of him putting his hands on someone else like he did you makes you hot with anger and jealousy. You don't want his hands on anyone else, and you certainly can't stand the thought of him kissing someone else either. No, you want Spencer Reid all to yourself.

And you know if that is to ever happen, you have to find and stop the man who has turned your life upside down for the last week.

Now, you and Spencer sit at the dining room table, staring right at the manila folder that was slid underneath your door.

"Here's the timeline I put together, I am almost certain that it's correct." Spencer keeps his voice low as he speaks to you, spreading out the news articles and photos. You nod, showing him you understand and watch as the timeline gets pieced together.

Once it's all laid out, you take your time analyzing it. You recognize that the photos don't seem to be that old. In fact, you remember wearing a few of the outfits. You don't understand how you didn't realize all of this before, it seems clear as day.

"How didn't I see this?" You quietly ask, mostly to yourself. Spencer shifts in his seat, leaning forward to talk to you easier.

"It's probably just because you were in a state of shock." He explains, but it doesn't make it easier for you to accept.

"I should've been able to recognize this sooner. I mean, what the hell I'm a profiler and I couldn't even see the building blocks of my own case." You try to keep your voice quiet, but your anger and frustration bubble up. Spencer reaches over and puts a hand atop of yours, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Don't do that to yourself." He keeps his voice low and meets your eyes. They're soft and understanding, it doesn't seem like he's blaming you one bit for missing things. You sigh and look back down to the photos.

"You're going in to talk to the team today right?" You eventually ask, hoping that you'd be allowed to tag along.

"In about an hour, but you're still under lockdown. I can have one of the other agents stay with you here if you want?" Spencer offers and you're quick to turn it down. You don't want anyone other than him inside your apartment with you.

"That's okay. Just, come back here afterwards?" You ask, knowing it sounds desperate, but you don't care. He brings you comfort and you feel safe when he's here with you. Not that you doubt your own abilities, you just like having the reassurance.

"Of course." Spencer promises and the two of you fall back into a comfortable silence.

When it's time for him to leave, you close the door behind him and look over to where the camera was discovered. You really wonder how long it had been there. Standing just out of its reach, you stare right at it. It's very small, blends right into the television stand. If it weren't for the light you'd never know it was there at all.

You tilt your head and think about who you know has been inside your apartment. Of course, there was Spencer and yourself. But other than that, nobody had really been in here, that you know of. That is, except for agent Valentine.

-----

Spencer quickly makes his way to the BAU, his heart pounding from reading Hotch's message. Apparently, Hotch had not sent Valentine over to your apartment, nobody had sent Valentine anywhere. Spencer knew something was weird about him showing up, he just felt it.

Of course, he also has to remind himself that nothing has been proven. Yet. But, he has a feeling that they're going to find some concrete evidence very soon. Spencer had taken the manila folder with him, ready to hit the ground running.

As soon as he enters through the glass doors, he sees that everyone is waiting for him in the briefing room. He wastes no time, he goes in immediately. All eyes are on him, some more apologetic than others, some confused. But he pays them no mind, all he can think about is your safety and tracking down the man who has made your life hell, the man who turned your team against you.

With the reminder that half the team didn't even believe this was legitimate, he has to keep his anger in check if he wants their help. But deep down Spencer knows he would be able to handle this without their help, there's nothing he wouldn't do to protect you.

"Did you bring everything?" Hotch asks, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, it's all here." Spencer says and spreads out the evidence he's committed to memory.

"Can you brief the team on the situation?" Hotch then asks as everyone begins looking over everything. After a deep breath, he explains the situation and how it unfolded step by step.

By the end of his explanation, he can see the remorse on the team's faces. Their eyes are trained on the photos and it's Derek who decides to speak up first.

"Listen, I'm sorry-"

"You don't have to apologize to me, she's the one you have to beg forgiveness from. What if something had happened to her because none of us believed her? How many of these cases have we seen end badly because nobody believed the victim? She's not even some stranger, she's been part of this team for years. I still cannot comprehend how any of you doubted her. So if you want to apologize, I would start with her." Spencer cuts Derek off abruptly. Derek's mouth is left open, but he takes Spencer's intrusion in stride. He nods,

"I understand." Derek leaves it at that, and everyone else seems to take note, keeping their thoughts to themselves.

Spencer excuses himself from the room to keep himself from saying anything further. They know that they've entirely messed up, and it would only hurt the case to keep harping on it. He goes to the breakroom and makes some coffee, hoping that some sense of normalcy will help him get through the day. Truthfully, he wants to go running back to your apartment, but he knows he needs to be here.

As he sips on the hot coffee, his eyes travel to your empty desk. Wilted flowers sit on your desk, but the bright white paper attached to them catches his attention. He abandons his coffee and goes to your desk. The notes from the flowers find their way into Spencer's hands and he reads them over again, despite the fact he's had them memorized since the first time he read them.

But this time, two things catch his attention. On one of the notes, the words "brilliant mind" are used and in the other, the words "story not yet complete" are scrawled on the paper. Spencer's mind flashes back to yesterday, where Valentine stood in your apartment and used very similar words. In fact, he quoted verbatim the "brilliant mind" part.

By the time the dots connect in Spencer's mind, his phone rings in his pocket. He sees your name on the screen and doesn't hesitate to answer.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asks, heart thumping in his chest as he realizes he knows exactly who the stalker is. He had strong suspicions, but this was the final nail in the coffin, the last shred of evidence he needed to confirm it all.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just- I think I know who it is." You say, sounding breathless. Spencer's shoulders relax as he hears you're fine but his adrenaline spikes when you announce that you've also figured it out.

"Who?" He asks, hoping that you two have come to the same conclusion.

"It's Valentine." You say. Spencer looks back to the team in the briefing room and knows exactly what to do next.

"Listen to me. We're going to arrange the security detail to bring you here. We need to explain all of this to the team, and then we are going to find Valentine." Spencer says, walking towards the briefing room as you two exchange rushed goodbyes.

-----

Spencer tries his best to not stare at the clock while waiting for you to arrive. His foot taps anxiously against the floor, his eyes dart towards the elevator every few seconds. He's calculated the time it should take for you to get here and he's already decided that if you're even two minutes late that he will go out and find you himself. Sure, it may be a little dramatic and overkill but he is not prepared to spare any effort for you, not when Valentine is still out there somewhere.

The others wait in the briefing room as Spencer told them you were on your way. Right before he walked out of the room he noticed their shared glances full of tension. Secretly, Spencer couldn't wait to watch them beg for your forgiveness. His blood still boils if he thinks about it for too long. And though he knows a lot of things, he doesn't think he'll ever understand how the team could've turned on you so easily.

As he paces around the bullpen, he hears the elevator ding and the doors slide open. He rushes to greet you, relieved to see that you're accompanied by two agents he recognizes from the security detail. Spencer thanks the agents and leads you away from them with his hand on the small of your back. He looks over you quickly, making sure that you're okay.

"How did you figure it out?" He asks once he's satisfied that you're not in any distress. Or, no more than you've been experiencing for the last week.

"I was looking at the camera we found and remembered that Valentine was standing right over there when he came over. And then I started thinking. How did he get my address? Why did he say he was aware of the situation beyond the encryption? And his behavior reeked of desperation." You explain and Spencer nods. He glances back towards the briefing room and decides he wants to speak to you privately a little longer before the two of you head in.

"I knew there was something off about his behavior. And I knew that we would've noticed the camera sooner if it had been there a while." Spencer confirms your thoughts about Valentine's behavior. You nod your head and continue on your train of thought before you lose it.

"And I figured he got my address when he was working on my computer two months ago. Remember, after the article was published about the case where women were being killed for affairs, that Valentine had to come and install an encryption software onto my computer because the one I had was outdated?" You ask and Spencer nods,

"Yeah, yeah I remember he was asking about the pictures on your desk and about that case because the article was next to the computer. You showed him the article and said that it wasn't entirely true, but that you didn't care because the team wins together." Spencer's face lights up as more connections are being made.

"Right. And if he was working on the computer it's hard to say what else he installed on there. And then the photos from the folder? Those were taken roughly two months ago. Spencer, it all makes sense." You say, slightly breathless, almost in disbelief that you've finally figured it out, and that all the scattered pieces of the puzzle are finally coming together to form one cohesive picture.

"Come on, we should tell the others." Spencer says, resting his hand on the small of your back as the two of you walk into the briefing room.

He feels you tense as you walk in, and chooses to stand right beside you as you explain everything to the rest of the team, who gives you their full attention. Spencer's eyes watch each one of them as he tries to look for even the most minuscule indicator that someone doesn't believe you now. But much to his relief, he can't find anything of the sort in anyone. By now he's aware of everyone's behavior and is able to clock them all pretty easily. He can only find guilt and interest written on their faces.

-----

By the time you've explained everything to the team, you're met with several silent stares, each one exuding a different emotion. From a quick sweep you can pick out sadness, anger,and guilt.

But there's one person not here that you wish had made an appearance. After all your years here, you'd never known Penelope to miss something like this. But she's nowhere to be found. Perhaps that's because she still doesn't believe you. And with that crushing thought, you let yourself step closer to Spencer, who reaches for you but ultimately decides to give you a soft smile.

You know he was reaching to you to provide you comfort, but the team doesn't know what happened between the two of you and neither you nor Spencer seem to want to bring that to attention now. Maybe once the dust settles and the two of you figure out exactly what you're doing, but not now. Now you'll just have to settle for being comforted by his soft, puppy-dog eyes.

Breaking the silence, Hotch steps forward with a pointed look on his face.

"She is no longer safe to be in her apartment and she isn't safe here, not with Valentine working here. Temporary arrangements need to be made immediately. As for the rest of you, look into our systems for any other trace of interference. And once we get all of our evidence documented and Penelope determines if she can crack the code, that's when we go after Valentine." His words are concise and spoken with authority.

Everybody at the table nods and leaves the briefing room, leaving you, Spencer, and Hotch alone. Nerves prickle the tips of your fingers as you wait for Hotch's further orders.

"Is there anywhere you could go until we get Valentine?" Hotch's voice has noticeably softened and you're thankful. While you know Hotch has your back, his authority and confidence can sometimes be overwhelming.

"No, sir." You answer after considering the question.

You didn't have family in the area, there's no boyfriend you can crash with, and you know staying in a hotel with the security detail would draw unwanted attention. The crease between Hotch's eyebrows deepens, but before he can speak another word, Spencer clears his throat and takes a step forward.

"She can stay at my place." He offers and your heart swells.

While it's no strange occurrence for Spencer to stay at your apartment, you had never stayed at his before. You had always respected his aversion to shared spaces and germ transference but after yesterday's actions, this shouldn't have surprised you as much as it does. You quickly regain your composure and judge Hotch's reaction. His eyebrow is raised and he glances between you and Spencer critically.

"I'll inform the security detail of the location change." Hotch states and then turns to leave the room. The tightness in your chest is relieved as he walks out of the room. Your attention is then focused on Spencer, who's already looking at you.

"Are you sure?" You ask him, placing a gentle hand on his forearm. The corners of his moth tuck up into a smile and he nods.

"I'm positive. I would feel much better with you at my place." He affirms and you're unable to keep the grin off your face or the redness from staining your cheeks.

"Thank you, really. I'll go pack some things up and then I'll be over once you're done here for the day." You say and go to leave, but are stopped by Spencer's hand around yours.

"No, I'll go with you. I don't want you going back there alone. Especially now that we're on his trail. He could devolve and destabilize at any moment." Spencer says, keeping your hand within his. He pleads with his eyes for you to agree, and you know you're going to give in; after all you've never really been able to deny Spencer anything.

"Okay." Is all you say before the two of you walk out of the briefing room together.

----- Agent Valentine POV

The video on my screen plays over again and again and again. And each time I watch it, it doesn't become easier to accept. My knuckles turn white from how harshly I grip my computer mouse, replaying the video that's surely ingrained into my memory at this point.

As I see the dark footage of Spencer Reid on the couch with her, putting his hands all over her body, receiving her affections, my breathing becomes heavy and erratic.

My eyes are drawn to the way his fingers seem to map out every curve of her body and how his lips are able to taste the sweetness of her skin. It should be me. My hands should be on her smooth, soft skin. My lips should be on hers. Not his. Never his.

My printer sounds off as it prints a few copies of the image on my screen and I'm quick to add it to the others I have. I reserve one copy and hold it in front of my face before placing it on my desk and cutting out Spencer's face. I cannot even bear the sight of him anymore, my blood boils with unexplainable rage the more I think about him.

From the night at the bar I knew he was going to be a problem for me. That's why I tried to drive a wedge between them, but for some reason he didn't fall for it like the others. Not that my plan was bad, all I did was give her the credit she's rightfully due; it was her own teammates who didn't believe her. Perhaps that should show her how much they value her on the team.

I should've been the one to swoop in and save the day and then she would've had no choice but to see me. She would've seen everything I have to offer her. My eyes glance at my phone, hoping that she would call and ask me to install those cameras inside her apartment. After all, they would keep her safe. I would be here to make sure nobody got in, that she got home after work. My foot taps on the ground as I stare at my blank phone screen.

With a sigh, I look over to a framed photo of her I keep on my desk, and her smile calms me immensely. Soon this whole headache will be over with and we will finally be able to live the life we deserve together. I can almost picture it.

I can see the two of us on the front porch of our home, hand in hand, as we watch the sunset and count the fireflies. I can see us sharing breakfast across the table from each other, the sunlight illuminating her as if she had come straight down from heaven. I can see the fulfilling life I know we'll have. And that reminder is all I need to keep moving forward. All of this will be worth it in the end, when I can finally have her.

I click through her social medias to see if she's updated anything only to find that she hasn't. But I still go through the photos and am in awe of her beauty, just like I'm seeing her for the first time all over again. And once I'm done with her socials I check her work credentials to view her recent activity. It seems she hasn't logged on in a few days.

I chew on the inside of my cheek as I ponder when I should come in and magically crack the encryption code to save the day. By then, I will have had enough time to delete any tracks I may have left and plant new ones, ones that would reflect Spencer was the one who meddled with FBI systems. And then she would see me as her savior, she would have no other choice but to finally see me and be done with Spencer for good.

It's then that I start deleting my trail and working on fabricating false information. But for some reason as I try to place the falsified records, my computer begins running slow. Frustrated, my fists ball up and I try to get it running faster. But no matter what I do, it's still stalling.

That is, until my failsafe alerts me that someone is already in the same system. My blood runs cold as I realize someone has actually cracked the encryption code and is seeing everything I've done and am currently doing.

With a racing heart I try to determine my best course of action. And unfortunately, I think they've forced my hand to do something drastic. 

-----

With a bag slung over your shoulder, you watch as Spencer opens his front door for you. The warm green walls invite you in and you realize it's been a while since you've been over here. But not much has changed. For a few moments you take it all in, seeing that he has a new bookshelf that he's already managed to fill and that he's rearranged his furniture slightly.

"It's so peaceful here." You say softly, placing your bag on the ground while you walk around. Spencer places his keys on the counter and watches you walk around his apartment.

"If you want, I can take the couch so you can get some rest." Your head swivels to look at him, eyebrows drawn tightly together. Does this mean he regrets what you two shared? Was everything just a distraction after all?

"Oh, um, you don't have to do that. This is your home, I can take the couch." You reply after a few minutes of jumbled thought. Your heart sinks as the words tumble out of your mouth.

You should've known better than to believe it was real.

Turning away from him, you walk to the window and look down at the street below. People are walking without a care in the world, and you wonder what life would be like if you hadn't taken this job. Maybe none of this would've happened if you just took another path.

Behind you, you hear Spencer grab your bag off the floor and you twist around to watch as he takes the bag into his bedroom. But you try not to put too much thought into it, he probably just doesn't want it laying in the floor.

Moments later, he comes to stand next to you, his hands shoved in his pockets. You don't know what to say, and apparently neither does he. There are a few questions burning on the tip of your tongue but you can't find it within you to ask. Not right now.

Instead you keep your eyes focused on the ground before you, wondering how much longer you're going to have to live here like this. During the quiet moments, which are few and far between, you're reminded of how much your life has been interrupted in just a few days.

You're no longer safe in your apartment, you and Spencer had actually kissed each other, your team turned their back on you, and one of the smartest people in the FBI is your stalker. At this point you're convinced you have the worst luck in the world.

"Are you hungry for dinner?" Spencer eventually breaks the silence, his voice raspy from the day.

Turning away from the window, you see how tired he is and you remember that he really hasn't slept much in two days. And now you're here in his home, disrupting his routine.

"I can take care of it. Please, let me. You're letting me stay here and you haven't had much sleep. It's really the least I can do." You answer and make your way to his kitchen.

He follows behind you and leans forward on the counter, watching you take inventory of his pantry. For as often as the team travels he keeps his pantry fairly well stocked, especially for a man.

"How do you feel about chicken parm?" You ask, closing the refrigerator door. Spencer's already looking at you, a small smile on his face.

"I think that sounds fantastic." He answers and sits on one of the stools. You nod and turn back around to collect everything you need.

While you prepare dinner, Spencer observes quietly. His hair is disheveled from the day and you notice some stubble adorning his jawline. A part of you hopes he keeps it and grows it out, there's just something about it that makes him look irresistible; more so than usual. He reaches up and loosens the tie around his neck and you try your best to sneak glances of him while you work. But eventually he's the only thing you can think about.

"Why don't you get changed into something more comfortable? It'll be done in a few minutes." You propose, hoping that he goes away for a few minutes so you can concentrate on not burning the sauce.

With a lazy nod, he slinks away to his bedroom and you let out a sigh. You wish you had the courage to ask him if the kisses were real. But you're afraid that if you ask, and he says no, that your only chance with him will wither and die. But if you don't ask, then you can convince yourself there's a chance.

After a few moments he returns in some simple sweatpants and a plain shirt. But somehow he makes it look like luxury loungewear. Instead of taking his spot at the counter, he walks behind the counter and looks over your shoulder. His hands rest on each of your shoulders and he rests his head atop of yours. In an instant, your heart thumps heavily in your chest, so much that you're sure he can feel it too.

"It smells amazing." His voice is quiet and deep, his lips are right by your ear which causes a shiver to run down your spine.

"Spencer." You say, not sure of exactly what you want to say, or ask, as your mind is becoming fuzzy and overwhelmed by his close proximity. His hands run down your shoulders, down your arms, before they rest on your hips.

Perhaps the kisses were real after all. Or maybe this is all just another distraction. Which means if this is a distraction then something else must've happened and he doesn't want you to find out about it yet so you aren't more scared.

You turn the heat off on the stove before you turn around in his arms. Your eyes meet his and you see how his eyes look over your face as if he's memorizing every small detail. Which he very well could be.

"Hmm?" He hums, his eyes flickering down to your lips.

"Spencer, what are we doing here?" You finally gain the courage to ask him.

He blinks a few times as if he's processing the question. For once, you're not sure if he has an answer at ready. Had you really just caused Spencer to really think about a question?

Eventually though, his grip becomes just slightly tighter on your hips and he licks his lips. With hopeful eyes, you look into his as he finally answers. You just hope he isn't about to break your heart.

"I think this entire situation made me realize how much I care about you. Can I be completely honest here?" He asks and you nod your head, wanting nothing more than the unfiltered truth from him.

"Of course." You affirm and he takes in a deep breath.

"When you realized someone had been stalking you, it made me come to understand that I hate the idea of someone laying claim to you like that. I hate the thought of someone looking at you with impure intentions, I hate the thought of someone invading your privacy, I hate the idea of someone else putting their hands on you. And if I am being honest here, I haven't had such violent thoughts since I was in prison. And, truthfully, I know I would do whatever it takes to make sure that you're safe; there would be nothing too extreme."

His words make your heart skip a beat and you find no traces of a lie in his eyes or written anywhere on his face. Instead, all you see is driven resolve. And you know he meant every single word.

"Spencer -"

"I'm sorry if that was too much, I know the way I said it was intense. But I mean it. You've found a way to infiltrate my every thought in the best way possible. I wake up and wonder if you slept okay and if you're alright and I go to bed wondering if you feel safe. And in the moments in between, I think about what I could be doing to make sure you feel safe, about what I can do to protect you from Valentine." He cuts you off and rambles on a bit more, and you take in every word.

If Spencer were anyone else his words may raise some concern, but because he's Spencer, your Spencer, you're just relieved. You're relieved because you know now that it was all real. And after he's done speaking, you lick your lips and fight the smile that wants to plaster itself on your face.

"Spencer, you're the only one that believed me about this from the get go. You're the one who made sure I've been safe. And, if I'm also being completely truthful here, you've found a way to occupy my every thought too." You say, trying not to let your voice waver at the end. Because Spencer is so close, it's hard to concentrate on exactly what you want to tell him. And as he hears your words, he smiles.

"And if I'm being even more truthful, all I've been able to think about is how your hands felt on my body, and how I never want anyone else to feel your touch." You go one step further to prove your point. He's so close to you now, that your noses almost touch. There's a growing heated tension between the two of you, and you know that it's going to give at some point.

"And I never want anyone to feel your lips on their skin, I never want someone else to hear the way you pant and moan. I want it all for myself." His voice is merely a whisper now. Your hands come up and grab the front of his shirt, no longer being able to take it.

Your lips crash onto his, and he wastes no time in cradling your face with one hand while the other wraps around your waist. Your mind flashes back to last night, but unlike last night there's a sort of hunger lingering between you two. Something primal, and desperate.

A few seconds of heated kisses leads Spencer to lifting you and setting you on the counter where your legs wrap around his waist. Your hand finds his hair and you tug on it slightly, eliciting a breathy pant from Spencer as he places kisses on your cheek down to your neck.

Your eyes flutter shut and your lips fall apart as you're bathed in warm ecstasy. There had been many many nights where you had dreamed of this happening, but now that your dreams are reality it's difficult to fully grasp.

Spencer's fingers slide up your thighs and sneak underneath your shirt. Your back arches into him and you encourage him to keep going. His lips find their way back to your neck and between his hands on your bare skin and his lips hovering over your sweet spot, you're convinced that you may explode from burning desire.

"Spencer please." You beg him, pushing your body to be closer to him, your legs pulling him closer into you.

His breathing is heavy as he pulls away and looks you in the eye. But only for a moment because before you know what's happening, he's scooping you off the counter and taking you to his bedroom.

Spencer places you gently on his bed and wastes no time to get his hands back on you. This time though, his hands travel further south. Your body is hot with need for him, you're sure your cheeks are flushed. And before Spencer takes even a single article of clothing off of you, he takes a step back to take in the view.

"You are so unbelievably beautiful." His breath is airy, his lips a dark pink and just slightly swollen.

Suddenly feeling self conscious about being under his careful gaze, you reach out for him,

"Come here." You tell him and then grab him by the front of his shirt. Spencer supports himself as he hovers above you.

The two of you kiss each other once more, full of passion and desire. You lead his hand to where you need him the most and you feel his breath hit hitch.

"Are you, you're sure about this?" He suddenly sounds nervous and you smile sweetly back.

"There's nothing I want more than you." You truthfully tell him, and he doesn't second guess your words.

His lithe fingers make quick work of the button on your pants and he tugs them down your legs with an almost expert precision. You see his pupils dilate as he looks over your soft skin, his hands grabbing onto your thighs and you swear you hear him restrain a moan.

He works his way towards the thin elastic waistband, his fingers hooking onto it and gently pulling. You lift your hips and watch him as he looks like a man starved, that's just been served a four course meal on a silver platter. His hair hangs down in front of his eyes, but you can still see the need within them.

Your eyes flutter shut once more as you feel the cool air of the room against your half-bare body. Spencer hums in appreciation and his hands find their way back to your thighs. Your breathing increases, you chest rises and falls quickly as you anticipate the feeling of Spencer's fingers.

But before you feel anything, both of your phones ring in the room next door.

Freezing in place, the two of you work your way through your mental fog and debate whether or not it's worth answering. Spencer looks heartbroken, as if he's a child on Christmas that's been told Santa forgot to stop at his house.

"We should, um, we should probably get that." You clear your throat and push away the deep disappointment you feel. Spencer stands up straight and offers you a hand off the bed.

"Yeah, yeah of course." It sounds like he's trying to convince himself and not you. Quickly, you pull your pants back on and find your phone before it stops ringing.

Desire is soon replaced with dread as you think of a hundred different reasons why the team would call both of you at the same time

-----

The entire team sits around the table in the briefing room as Garcia explains her breakthrough discovery. Spencer and you had decided to take seats on opposite sides of the table, but it doesn't help that you're thinking of his hands on your skin. 

"So basically that's how I cracked the AES 128. However, when I cracked it I saw everything he had done and what he was in the process of doing." Garcia explains, though most of the technical talk goes over your head. 

"And what did you find?" Hotch is the first one to speak up and he leans forward on the table, his elbows resting on the hard surface. Penelope takes in a deep breath and her eyes flicker over to Spencer. 

"Well, sir, it looks like he was trying to erase his tracks and replace them with Spencer's credentials. My best theory is that he was going to alter everything and then make the encryption go away so we would find it all. But that's not it, no, Valentine's credentials were used to enter the BAU the night that the evidence was retagged." She elaborates and your eyebrows scrunch together. 

You vividly remember receiving that text from Spencer and a shiver runs down your spine as you realize just how close Valentine's been operating this entire time. You swallow the sickness that wants to rise within you

"And I hate to be the bearer of even more bad news, but I am fairly sure that he went through your personnel file." Penelope looks at you as she speaks, her eyes full of sorrow. 

"That's how he knew where I live." You speak up, throat feeling dry. To keep from crying you bite the inside of your cheek. You had the suspicion that Valentine had done all of this, but to hear it confirmed out loud shakes you to your core. If he looked through your file then he knows just about everything there is to know about you.

This time, it's Spencer who breaks the silence. He stands from his spot at the table and angrily runs a hand through his hair. He paces back and forth before saying anything, probably choosing exactly the right words. Everyone's eyes are glued to him as he stops pacing. He pushes his button-up sleeves to his elbows and looks right into your eyes, like you are the only two in the room. 

"If I find him, I'm going to kill him." His voice is calm, level, serious. His rigid posture and bluntness is something you're vaguely familiar with, but you haven't seen this behavior from him in a long time, not since he was released from prison. 

"Don't-"

"Don't tell me I'm overreacting. We know how these things end. There's no chance in hell I'm letting him get close enough to hurt her. He will have to kill me first before he gets a chance at her. No, if I see him anywhere near me I don't think I'll be able to control myself." He admits. And even though his words should shake you, all they make you feel is safe. 

You know Spencer would go to any length to make sure that you're safe. That much is clear as day to you now. It's almost endearing to hear. And you'd be a liar if you said you wouldn't do the same for him. 

The rest of the team stays silent with his admission. Everyone knows that he means exactly what he said. And surprisingly, nobody tries to talk him down any further. They know he's right, these situations usually end with the victim badly injured or killed. We've seen it enough times. 

"We know how the behavior patterns of stalkers. If he gets wind that we're after him he'll go for her. Spencer, stay with her. The rest of you, it's time to bring him in." Hotch orders in a stern voice. The team is quick to get to their feet and get to work. 

Before you're whisked out of here once more, Spencer stands in front of you to block your path. You look up at him through your lashes and he takes your hands within his. 

"I'm sorry for the way I said everything, but I want you to know it's true. For what he's done to you, my beautiful girl, I would kill him in a heartbeat." He reiterates and it makes your heart beat faster. You squeeze his hands in appreciation. 

"Well, let's hope you don't find him first." You say with a small smile on your face. 

Spencer walks you out of the office with his hand on your lower back. He never once loses physical contact with you until you're safely in his car. And even then, his hand rests on your thigh. You observe his behavior, never having seen him so possessive before. It's interesting to you, seeing this side of him up close and personal. His eyes hold a burning intensity, like he could stare right through someone's soul, his shoulders seem broader from his tense posture, his jaw sharper from clenching it in anger and determination. 

Though it may scare some, it only intensifies what you feel for him. 

[poggersbathwater]

vivziepop: this show is about criticising Christianity"

proceeds to: woobify sinners and make them overlords as a reward,for some reason all or most sinners (cannibals, rapists,murderers....etc) are queer,villainized Adam the first human (had nothing to do with Christianity at the time he got created and it's not his fault that god made him for a woman and just wanted peaceful life with her) who lost two women because of lucifer,made lucifer the good innocent guy (let's ignore that he is the main reason why humanity is suffering), "7 DEADLY SINS ARE GOOD FOR YOU ACTUALLY! LUST IS ABOUT CONSENT AND GLUTTONY ARE ABOUT SELF CONTROL,EXCEPT FOR GREED CAUSE THERE'S NO SUCH A THING AS A GOOD GREED CAUSE FUCK RICH!....btw please buy my Valentino cups! (I Wonder why 7 sins are deadly in a first place if they're caring and healthy according to viv)" "Wait.....are you telling me that stolas is a wise high ranking demon who give knowledge to those who summon him? Nonsense! Stolas is a horny softie who needs his imp slave to protect him! Screw accuracy! And you know what? I am making the rest of ars goetia and turn them into birds and had nothing to do with their demonology because I just need to use their names to make more characters"

(Yeah sorry about stolas accuracy part,it's just that I am tired of "not everything should be accurate" argument,that's like making thoth a Egyptian god of wisdom into a weak softie hypocrite character who is obsessed with sex and have nothing to do with his wisdom and knowledge,actually there's a lot of interesting things about thoth that makes him respected amongst gods and if viv wrote him he would be nothing but a joke character that have no personality outside of sex and victimhood mentally)

Alright lightning round here

Woobifying (idk what that means but i imagine it means glorification) sinners: I think the overlords are there to run businesses and industries in Hell, not to reward them exactly- but I do see the point you're making. The worse they are, the more power they have, which doesn't look too good for Hell's case.

Having most of the sinners be queer: Yeah I.. also get this one. It's weird how no fascists or.. well, generally bigoted people are there, but all the characters that ARE there happen to be queer. And I'm not saying queer people can't be bad, they can, but when there's more queer people than bigots in a place that's supposed to have the bad people... yeahhhhh no

Villainizing Adam: Yeah I hate how they turn Adam into a righteous douche- though it could make sense, since he did eat the fruit too (it probably changed his behavior a lot), turning him into a righteous douche who's bitter he lost his wife was.. kinda messed up.

The characterization of the sins: YEAH ACTUALLY THIS ONE SUCKS !! The whole point of Gluttony is that you just keep indulging without a care- the whole point of lust is that it's forced and it hurts people- if it wasn't about force, it'd be called love. Because consent is love. Force and betrayal (cheating/infidelity) is lust. The sins being characterized as good people takes away from why they are sins.

Stolas: Okay I don't know much about demon stuff, so I'll leave that alone (the ars goetia isn't talked about in Christianity so that's why I can't answer it), but I will say that stolas being the victim all the time is fucking ass. Yes, stolas has been forced into an arranged marriage. That sucks, it does. But that doesn't excuse any of his actions towards Blitzo, or his emotional unavailability towards Via.

I've never gotten this many asks Holy shit

[loveanton]

all the stars | park wonbin

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: “today i decided to let you go. not because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me or that you apologized, but because my soul deserves peace.”

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: ex!idol wonbin x f!reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: lovers to strangers!au

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 3k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: heartbreak, wonbin is really mean,,,that’s it really.

⏤ 𝑎/n: some angst to spice things up hehe

“to be infatuated with someone is not the same as being in love with them,” there’s a pregnant pause that slowly fills the lecture room as you and your fellow students dwell on your professor's words. “when you’re infatuated with a person, you are simply in love with the idea of them and what they can offer you at that moment. you lust for them but being in love is completely different. being in love means desiring the happiness of your partner, admiring them for the individual they are, and feeling motivated to be a better person. when you are in love, your relationship goes beyond the superficial things and the physical attraction.”

you pull your eyes away from your professor and glare down at your notes as your mind wanders off to a person you can’t seem to forget these days. park wonbin.

it’s been months since you last heard from the male who can’t seem to leave your thoughts, each memory your heart recalls to your brain breaks you even more.

was what you had with him love or was it infatuation? it couldn’t have been the latter, could it?

no, it wasn’t. you loved him fully and wholly, you loved him for who he was. you didn’t love him for the money, or the expensive gifts. no, you loved the real him. you loved wonbin, the person he always tried so hard to hide, not the well known singer. you loved his obsession with fashion, his cute little giggles, and his overwhelming generosity.

wonbin would do anything for anyone, he was a walking ray of literal sunshine and you miss the warmth he brought into your life.

what you had with him wasn’t infatuation because you could see forever with him-you can still see forever with him. you can still vividly picture the seven bedroom home that he would describe when you two were cuddled up in the backseat of his car. he promised he would build you your dream home and fill it with nothing but kids and pure love, maybe even a few pets if you ever overcame your fear of cats and dogs.

it was love. it is love, because you’re still in love with him even after he broke your heart. even after he left you because of his growing career and walked out on three years worth of effort and love.

“love is a tricky emotion and can be hard to decipher. it creeps in slowly until it fills your whole being and becomes a part of the oxygen you need to breathe. while you might not feel its presence at times, any form of removal and you feel as if you’re beginning to choke.”

you hear the last end of your professor's speech and you can’t help but agree. you’re suffocating without wonbin. regardless of the hurt he’s caused you, you still need him to breathe and you hate both yourself and him for that.

“we’ll pick this up another time, there’s reading for tonight so make sure to take notes because there will be a quiz next class.” professor xu announces before getting to work on wiping down the whiteboard.

you make work of quickly packing your bag before scooting back and exiting the lecture. on your way out you hear the frantic call of your name and that stops you in your steps. you turn around just in time to see your best friend yemi dashing towards you.

“what type of friend forgets about their bestie's existence?” she scoffs once she reaches your side.

you sigh at her dramatic claim before turning back around, “you seemed to be enjoying eye-fucking professor xu, i simply didn’t want to disturb you.”

a scandalized gasp leaves her lips and she reaches out to smack the back of your head. “i was not!”

you hiss at the stinging sensation but decide not to retaliate, “sure you weren’t.”

she falls into step beside you and contemplates her previous actions before asking, “...do you think he caught on?”

you hum, “seeing as you do it every class, probably.”

yemi groans and leans her head on your shoulder. “it’s not my fault God decided to make xu minghao so freaking attractive!”

you reach up and pat her head. “you’ll be fine.”

the two of you continue your walk back to your shared apartment in silence, your mind wanders back to wonbin and you wonder how he’s doing, if he’s eaten today, maybe if he’s even moved on.

“____?” you snap out of your daze when you hear yemi softly calling out to you. you turn your head to look at her and find her staring at you worriedly. “are you okay?”

you nod. “why wouldn’t i be.”

“because you’ve been silent for a whole ten minutes, this is a new record for you, ____…” she trails off and thinks for a few seconds before tentatively adding, “and you’re crying.”

you frown and reach a hand up to touch your cheeks. your eyes widen in surprise when you feel the moisture on them. “oh.”

hesitantly, yemi asks, “...are you thinking about wonbin again?”

and just like that, you brake. your heart cracks a bit more at the sound of his name and the tears instinctively begin to fall. yemi sighs and brings you in closer to wrap her arms around your frail body. you tremble in her arms as you sob like a baby and yemi swears under her breath as her vision gets foggy as tears clog her sight as well. she’s never hated your ex more than she does in this moment.

she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to forgive him for breaking your heart. all you ever did was love wonbin with your whole being, but the second it came down to it he picked his career and fame over you. the person he promised to love and protect forever.

he left you crying hysterically by the swing set where he first asked you to be his and took your first kiss. now you can’t even walk past the park without crying so you avoid it all together.

“i-i hate him so much yemi.” you cry into her shoulder and she nods.

“i know, me too.”

“it hurts even more because i’m still in love with him! i hate how he still has a piece of me, i hate how i can’t ever stop thinking about him or how i can’t even walk past a stupid park without crying! i just want to be free of him! i want to hate him as much as i love him,” you wail. you can feel yemi tighten her grip on you.

“i hate what he did to you, ____. i know how much you loved him and so it’s going to take you a while to stop loving him, i understand that but that doesn’t mean i understand you wasting away, i’m not saying you need to get over him now. but you can’t let the love you still have for him deter you from bettering yourself and eventually moving on.”

she pulls away and looks at your tear ridden face, “love yourself as much as you love him and find the strength to leave him in your past. stop letting him win.”

you sniff and wipe away the tears in frustration, “i’m trying yemi! you think i like the hold he still has over me? it’s hard to forget three years worth of memories and love!”

she lifts her hand to your cheek to wipe away a stray tear you didn’t even know fell from your eye. “i’m not asking you to forget the memories you made with wonbin my love. i’m telling you to accept the fact that it’s over.”

your body turns rigid as you fully process yemi’s words. she’s right, you need to accept that what you had with wonbin has run its course, he’s not coming back and desperately wishing he would won’t return him to you. you need to let him go so you can find peace and stop wasting your energy on someone who has made it clear you were never worth any of theirs to begin with.

you nod slowly and whisper a meek, “okay.”

11:58 pm

“____! i did the last ramen run, if i do it again the cashier is going to think i’m a pig!” yemi cries as she rolls around on your bed.

“yemi please, if i stop typing i won’t be able to pick up later!”

she shrugs, “okay and? i will literally give you my card please, ____.”

you sigh, “fine! but you have to cook it too!”

“whatever, just go get the ramen!” she whines.

you sigh and gently shut your laptop. you glare at yemi and snatch her bank card from her hand before promptly exiting your bedroom and apartment all together.

the walk to the seven eleven across the street doesn’t take you more than a minute. you greet the on duty cashier before picking up a basket and head straight for the ramen shelf at the back of the store, you make sure to pick out the spicy carbonara yemi had been crying about all night and one pack of tonkatsu for you. you make your way up to the front of the store to pay but make a quick detour at the candy aisle and pick out a few goodies for yourself, seeing as you’re not the one paying.

as you’re exiting the candy aisle, you hear an all too familiar infectious giggle. your heart begins to race and your grip weakens on the basket when you catch sight of a black haired male with a fresh cut entering the aisle holding hands with another female.

your heart seizes in your chest as your eyes greedily drink him in. the last time you saw him he had bleached his hair blond hell bent on growing out his hair because you would always cry when we he got a new cut. he would always cry about how his fringe would poke his eyes and beg you to tie his hair up for him. You even started carrying around extra hair ties just in case he needed his hair tied back.

he looks away from the girl by his side and makes eye contact with you, his smile faltering and his stare growing cold and distant. just like that you’re brought back to the night he broke your heart and took a piece of you with him.

“we need to break up, ____.”

you feel the world freeze around you as you stare at the back of wonbin’s head, “w-what?”

he straightens his back and turns to face you, pinning an icy glare on your face. “let’s break up. what we have was never meant to last, i can’t be with you anymore.”

you adamantly shake your head, “why? we’re happy together, i love you and you love me. isn’t that enough?”

he scoffs, “did you really think we would last? we’re from two different worlds, ____. it was fun while it lasted but let’s end it here.”

tears begin to prick your eyes as you stare at him in shock that slowly morphs into anger. “where is this coming from wonbin? just last night you told me you loved me and that you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else so why are you hurting me like this!?”

he clicks his tongue and steps closer to you causing you to take a step back. “it was all a lie, i used you to feel better about myself, i can’t see myself with you, imagine how that would look.” he chuckles darkly and glares at you, “world renowned singer dating a nobody.”

you feel your heart shatter at his harsh words, “w-what?”

he sighs, “i know you’re smarter than this, ____, use that big brain of yours for once. you and i were never meant to be, i’m making a name for myself and i need someone who’ll fit in, someone who comes from my world. not a middle class girl playing dress up in higher society.”

you want to slap him, you want to hurt him just as much as his words are hurting you but you can’t bring yourself to do it so you stand there and take the berating.

“delete my number, act as if we’ve never met. i want nothing more to do with you from now on.”

and with that, he leaves. leaves you crying by the swing set where the two of you shared so many memories. where he kissed you like his life depended on it, like you were the oxygen he needed to live.

you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you’re pulled back to reality. you thought your heart would crack some more seeing him again for the first time in three months but it doesn’t, instead you can feel it slowly mending itself back together.

yemi was right, it was time to accept and move on. seeing wonbin with his new girl is doing you more good than you thought it would, it’s clear he’s doing just fine without you so why should you continue to wallow in despair while he’s living his best life.

you deserve happiness too. you spare the couple a smile, probably the most genuine smile you’ve smiled in weeks before sidestepping them and walking to the cashier to pay for your snacks.

you don’t bother sneaking a glance at them, you don’t need to know if he’s looking at her the way he used to look at you, eyes filled with love and a beaming smile on his face. you also don’t need to know if he’s staring at you, hoping you’ll turn around and confront him for what he did to you all those months ago.

no, you don’t need it anymore because you’re choosing to let him go.

you thank the cashier and pick up your bags before exiting the store and jogging back to your apartment.

“yemi!” you call, once unlocking the door.

“what?” she screams back. you quickly drop the bag and sprint towards your room. you find her spread like an eagle across your sheets playing with her nintendo switch not really paying you any attention.

“i ran into wonbin.”

she snaps her head in your direction and quickly drops the game console. “what happened? are you okay?”

you smile and nod, “i think i’m ready to finally let him go.” you take a seat beside her and place your head on her shoulder. “he was with someone else, they seemed happy together and i wasn’t bitter like i thought i would be.”

you play with the strings of your sweatpants, “i want him to be happy. i don’t mind that he doesn’t derive his happiness from me anymore. being able to see him smile so freely and be at ease with someone else helped me realize that what we had truly is over and that’s okay. there’s no need for me to keep punishing myself for something that was never my fault to begin with.”

yemi smiles and wraps her arms around you. “i’m happy for you.”

you cuddle into her side and nuzzle her neck. “thank you. not just for this but for being there through it all, i really appreciate you yemi.”

she hums, “you can show me how much you appreciate me by making the ramen.”

2:08am

after bickering with yemi about who would be making the ramen and playing five rounds of rock-paper-scissors, you ultimately lost and cocked for the two of you with the promise of her cleaning up.

after your meals you watched one episode of how to get away with murder together before retreating to your designated rooms.

now, all alone and wide awake with your thoughts, you debate on whether or not you should text wonbin. you stare at his contact and contemplate.

you didn’t have the heart to block him like he told you to, instead you settled for changing his name from wonbin with an obscene amount of heart emoticons to just, jb.

after debating it for a few more moments you decide to do it, what could you possibly lose from this?

02:08 AM 06 / 20 / 23

[you]: hey

[you]: you don't have to respond, i just have a few things i need to get off my chest and i'm not expecting anything from you. you don't even have to read this honestly but i need to say it.

[you]: i loved you. what we had was true unconditional love. being with you made me a better person and taught me to love fearlessly. i wasn't in love with the money or the expensive gifts or dates. i liked being in your presence, i liked the lowkey dates where we ate fast food in the back of your car, the dates where we were just wonbin and y/n. not the ones where you forced yourself to be park wonbin, that's not who i loved because he wasn't you. i loved the real you. i still love you.

[you]: but with that said, i'm choosing to let you go. i can't keep holding on to the idea that you're going to come back to me. it's time for me to leave you in my past and move on, i can't keep crying myself to sleep and wondering what i did wrong because the truth is, i didn't do anything wrong. the only thing you could possibly ever accuse me of is loving you too much.

[you]: i'm not asking for an apology or for you to even acknowledge the pain you've caused me. i'm not doing this for you, i'm doing it for me. i deserve just as much happiness as you do so i'm giving myself the closure you never did.

[you]: thank you for the memories we made together over the three years i got to call you mine. thank you for the late night drives when my insomnia was preventing me from sleeping, thank you for making the birthdays we shared together the most memorable. thank you for allowing me to know the real you, wonbin.

[you]: i hope you can continue to find happiness and that you never lose touch with the real you. a part of me will always love you.

you’re not even bothered by the fact that he left you on read. in fact a smile finds its way on your face. you place your phone down on your bedside table and fall asleep soundly for the first time in forever.

[uravitypng]

yandere denki ?? i just KNOW that denki love bombs the people he likes (if he was a yandere) , cw : dark ?

it started with one smile, just one.

you've known kaminari for a long time now and have always liked him. you thought he was charming in his own way, funny. you were closer to his other friends like kirishima than you were to him but that never stopped you from smiling at him, never stopped you complimenting him.

whenever you'd walk past him or you'd catch his eye you'd smile warmly and he loved how your smiles made him feel. you're just so sweet and kind.

you compliment him once and after that you compliment him more often after realising that he appreciates them when you saw his face light up and you swear you saw him blush. you believe everyone should be given praise and love, everyone should be told how much they matter to someone. you compliment everyone in your life, denki is no different. "you look handsome today kaminari." "did you do your hair differently? wait, it's pinned back, right? it looks good." "you were amazing today kami, who knows what would of happened if you weren't there."

you didn't realise what would happen after those smiles, after those compliments, you didn't realise the impact it would cause about denki's feelings towards you. all those unhealthy feelings- it makes him obsessed with you. he's never met anyone like you. you're so pretty, so sweet and soft towards him, no one has ever been so kind to him, not even his ex girlfriends. who can blame him for falling in love with you? he wants to keep you all to himself. so he love bombs you.

he gives you things and compliments you just as much as you compliment him. new books you wanted? brought. lipgloss your eyes lingered at while shopping? brought. clothes that he knows that you'll like (and he also wants to see you in)? brought. you don't know how denki keeps paying for all these things and every time you tell him you don't need him to buy you things and ask him why he keeps paying for things he replies and says things like, "i just like making you happy. if buying you new skirts or make up makes you happy then i want to do that. money is no issue. i like treating you. you're my friend after all." the way he says friend makes you shiver, every kind gesture makes your face hot and butterflies flutter in your stomach.

he takes extra shifts for more pay and delegates the rest of his time to spend with you. he knows he sees less of his other friends but it's worth it to see you more.

he constantly reminds you how beautiful you are, how talented you are. he alludes that you're better than other people for example, he doesn't outright tell you, 'you're so much prettier than jirou, i can't believe i liked her once, she's so boring compared to you.' he'll say things like, "you're so interesting, other people i use to know seem dull now." he hides his honesty with a chuckle.

denki will love bomb you until you like him back. manipulate you into falling in love with him.

you spent all last night cooking chocolates. it isn't anywhere near valentine's day but recently the man who stole your affection was talking about how a gesture of that kind makes his heart race. it's his birthday and even if he doesn't return your fondness you have towards him you hope they still make him happy. in the end you ended up having to buy chocolates to give to him after burning your homemade ones over and over again. disappointed at yourself and annoyed that you couldn't make it work you consider lying and saying you made them yourself. you don't think you'll tell him how you feel, burning all those chocolates must be a sign.

however when you knock on his door and give him chocolates he knows for sure his plan worked. you're all his now and you don't even know it. he's already got you wrapped around his finger. under his thumb.

turning up to dates late and smelling like some other women's perfume, coming home late when you're supposed to be spending the night together, secret texts and late replies, dismissing your feelings, less compliments with each passing day. he can play with you as much as he wants to, do whatever he wants with you- you're not leaving.

after a month or so he'll return to his previous self. it makes you want to please him more than you did, you don't want a repeat. you become needy for his attention and he doesn't mind one bit, this is what he wanted all along, your complete devotion to him.

is it possible that his obsession with you grows after he watches you become more docile and loyal towards him? you fill up his thoughts every second of ever day. he misses you and your smile when he's not with you. his obsession grows.

[artdcnaldson]

and when tashi punishes you in front of art for letting you get out of hand in the Olympics!au what then. you expect him to stand up for you - all the things he said about caring about you and wanting you - but he just looks away. tashi says you can leave, you can leave and art will never talk to you again because if tashi demands it he'll listen. you wont even exist to him. it'll be like he never knew you.

or.

you can take a little consequences for your actions. she likes your spirit, after all. your fire and passion. you just need a little discipline.

Exactly <3 When she practically drags you back to their house after the pregnancy test comes back negative and every bit of your pathetic lies come tumbling down around you <3 When she makes you tell Art everything, and you’re not crying pretty for him anymore, they’re ugly, humiliated tears that you got caught, that you’re having to admit that you were lying to him about a baby, that you thought you could manipulate him.

You think the tears will bring Art back to your side— that he’ll defend you and tell Tashi to stop, that you’ve had enough. They’ve worked on him plenty times before, but never with Tashi there. His jaw is set tight— you know he’s angry, that he’s livid but he’s letting Tashi handle it, handle you.

So Tashi gives you two options— face some consequences for once in your spoiled, bratty life, or you can just leave. Art would never see you again, never look at you, you’ll be nothing to him. It’s not even a choice to you— not even something you’re willing to consider. So you accept whatever consequences because you’re expecting Art to be the one doling it out.

But it’s not Art’s lap you’re bent over, it’s hers. And it’s not enough to just spank you with her hand— she’s mean about it. She uses a fucking paddle, like you’re a schoolgirl who misbehaved in class. It’s hard, and you yelp and bury your face into the duvet to muffle your cries, but Tashi just pulls your head back up, tells you to keep looking at Art. It feels like punishment enough, that he’s watching, but he’s not defending you, won’t own up to anything he said.

And he’s getting off on it— on finally seeing you brought to heel. He couldn’t do it, but Tashi can. Tashi has you babbling out apologies, with your makeup streaked, your ass stinging red, probably black and blue by the next day. But you don’t pussy out, you take it all and you’d take more, because the alternative is losing your favorite plaything, the object of your obsession.

And you think that’s it. You’re going to have trouble sitting— doing much of anything— but it doesn’t seem as bad as it could have been. But you’re simply ignored at your spot on the bed as Tashi kisses her husband. You pout the longer it goes on— as their tongues press against each other and slip into their mouths, as she pins Art to the bed and strips off both of their clothes.

That’s your punishment. Thats what you’re there for. How many times had you gotten off on Art telling you that you fucked him better? That your pussy was tighter and sweeter? That he loved you? That he’d leave her? You didn’t think he’d been lying until you had to watch, but you couldn’t look away.

So you listen to Art telling Tashi all the same things he told you, watch him fuck into Tashi’s cunt the way he’d done to you time and time again. Watch him cum, panting and moaning against her lips.

“I love you,” he pants, and she smiles, scratching at his scalp.

Your bottom lip wobbles and you feel hot tears on your lashline, and you’re worried you’ll have to just tap out and leave and give him up because it hurts.

He pulls out, and you watch his cum slip from her pussy, dripping down and onto the sheets. Tashi meets your gaze, nods expectantly. “Clean up the mess my husband made.”

You exhale a weak whine, crawl between her thighs and start licking at her, hesitantly at first. Her hand is in your hair, almost soothing as your tongue explores her— licking up the mixture of her and Art’s cum. You lose yourself in it until you’re just laving at her from her drooling entrance to her clit, all just seeking the taste of more.

“Okay, that’s enough,” She tells you, pushing your mouth off. She looks down at you indiscernibly, and you just lay against her thighs and sniffle out apologies.

[punkeropercyjackson]

My hatred for all the replacements of Duke in Jason's life in Batfanon is it always uses elements Duke has canonically.Joker Junior is only canon to Btas but Duke's origin story has his parents getting jokerized.Duke beat up the Joker post Jason's death and quiped about the latter to Jason's face upon first meeting.Jason instantly loved Duke as a brother unlike the tense relathionships he always starts off with everybody else and gives him special treatment.Duke was unfairly robbed of the Robin mantle even though he fits it perfectly and is literally so Robin-shaped and debuted the same year og Rhato did so it's such a no brainer he should've been The Outlaws' Robin(not that og Rhato stans would ever engage with an actual black character instead of the whitewashed violently misogynoiristic mess they did with Kory because they're too busy slobbering over Jayr*y to care about actual representation).Duke feels like he's not really part of the Batfam and it hurts him and he dosen't get told otherwise that much except by Jason and neither of those things are true for Tim.Duke is autistic-coded and has femme transmasc gender fuckery swag and as a black person i find it very innapropriate to ignore that seeing how autistic black kids have it even worse than white autistic kids-Including Duke and Tim themselves!-and how the trans community was so influenced by black trans people but gets whitewashed by white trans people and even nonblack trans poc

There's probably even more examples even barring the very,VERY weird habit of making Jason afrolatino not only not accurately to irl or in-character which is what makes us afrolatino Batfam fans think he's afrolatino to begin with in the same beat they completely overlook Duke as HIS Robin and him as DUKE'S Robin yet make a big show of including Stephanie when she's not even Bruce's kid and white girls are way more represented than black boys(and it's telling she's never headcanoned as black despite how well she works as a black girl character,even down to her name).Dudes,why are you even here.You pretty obviously don't even like the Batfam so would an original story not more fun for you?And the obsessive aversion to reading comics has no real basis,you can just ask people who've read the comics about the lore or watch video essays explaining it.You're not doing anything except ruining the Batfam fandom experience for everybody else and then calling us 'gatekeepers' for pointing out when you've gatekept far more than actual comics fans ever have.Including telling US what comics are like with no basis except a superiority complex and entitlement.And all this over stealing a black character's iconicness and basedness because you'll only believe it on white characters since you completely unironically believe black male characters are only supposed to the 'demure weak nerdy coward' stereotype and on top of always shipping incest and adults with minors????????Guys what the actual fuck

[thunderandsage]

hannibal fic recs

(in honor of my first ever fandom… yea i get the implications of how that makes me look 😂 anyways, my absolute favorites recs are the ones with red titles)

SEASON 1 ERA/VIBES

Pièce Montée, 3k words, episode-style case fic with well-written original characters and plot, sympathetic killers, would kill (ha) for this to be an actual episode on the show

where there is smoke, there is fire, 3k, georgia madchen character study, reading experience comparable to the joy and dread of watching sparks catch on kindling

Foreplay, 1.5k, despite the title not a smut fic but is actually a hannibal character study which takes the premise “seeing people as meat” and seeing how he does/doesn’t view people’s humanity

SEASON 2 ERA/VIBES

Salome, 6k words, tension, delves into the dark obsessive side of oscar wilde’s work, excellent hannibal pov

As Smoke to Flame, 3k, wherein the seduction does include fucking and predictably doesn’t make anything better, focuses on the inherent angst and betrayal of will’s ploy

Trotline, 7k, takes the fluffy-sounding premise of “will takes hannibal fishing” and makes it uh hannibal, an incredible take on hannibal’s sadism/cruelty, gorgeous looming sense of dread

each according to its own kind, 192k, after getting released will ditches the fbi and leaves for the other side of the continent, a love letter to the pacific northwest, the best will graham interpretation i have ever seen, slowburn character study, bonus points bc hannibal gets decked not once but twice in glorious detail, john steinbeck vibes, one of my favorite pieces of writing ever

pitiful things sometimes born in hospitals, 8k, daemon au where will has yet another difference, not a hannigram fic, beverly/will vibes, bittersweet and tragic

your heart is a vast stone desert, 10k, a conversation goes left field and enters the thorny splendor of psychedelic imagery and the most sinuous dialogue you’ve ever read, takes inspiration from ives’s play venus in fur

SEASON 3 ERA/VIBES

Silver Springs, 2k, a Dolce “let’s make this worse,” non-linear writing, heavy angst but god it hurts so good, gorgeous feels from the eponymous song

Tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks, 6k, a short scene in the BSHCI, what it means to be loved gently by a monster, grotesque and tender at the same time

highway 190, 10k, will graham growing up as a queer man in the deep south and beyond, religious trauma, prose as vivid and striking as a poisonous snake

Churrasco, 2k, leans into the avant-garde vibes of the show, all characters start out using false identities and you get to see them revealed slowly

Au Natur, 9k, a bleak but beautiful imagining of post-fall hannigram, fully embraces will graham’s manipulative tendencies

forgiveness, 1k, a poem-with-footnotes format as Will attempts to explain what his life has become to his father

Sins of Omission, 15k, Jack Crawford’s perspective on the development of hannigram, regret, very good outsider pov

VIBES-ADJACENT (aka fics that don’t “feel hannibal” or are vy AU, but are vy good nonetheless)

Adrasteia, 96k words, Kitchen Nightmares AU, nsfc (not safe for chilton), a hilariously sarcastic and done(tm) will graham, the first long hannibal fic that i read

Black Swan, 10k, as per the tags “all serial killers are birds, some birds are serial killers,” a cracky Swan Lake AU

Separately to a Wood, 13k, a “love at first sight” leads to “proposal during the breakfast scene,” soft

They Came to Florence or: Plagiarize This Fic, 5k, hannibal is a huge fan of will graham’s novels and becomes incensed when someone plagiarizes them, the author was apparently inspired to write this after someone plagiarized one of her fics and i respect that

Poppies, 5k, wherein it is acknowledged that for all the horror she’s been through abigail is just a teenage girl and is allowed some soft moments

their beaks not yet turned red, 134k, magical realism au where the baby does miraculously save the marriage, includes hilarious takes on the inherent absurdities of hannibal’s trial

Be Your Dog, 4k, a rock band au that adapts will graham’s proverbial “descent to the dark side” with an ominous intensity

Sagittarius, 13k, a salem witch trials au where will seeks to avenge abigail’s death by any means necessary, dark but cathartic

a siphon; to pass through, 71k, will has type one diabetes and hannibal is an infuriatingly smug vampire, crack but extremely well-written