#I also don’t
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That am I for if not to scroll through wlw couples on TikTok and not yearn
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i think about going on T and getting top surgery a lot more often then i ever thought i would
#idk who i am#or what i am#or what i want#i want to go on t#i also don’t#i want top surgery#but also i don’t#idk how i want to present#idk what pronouns i like#or what name#i don’t like my deadname#i still don’t feel right abt my new name#idk who i want to be#or who i’m supposed to be#like im so unsure n uncomfortable#i want to be someone i’m not#like idk how to figure out to present cuz i never even get dressed#i just don’t exist outside of my room so like idk how i act#idk who i am outside of other ppl either#like how tf do u figure this out when ur not even a person#like i don’t do anything i don’t have anything defining abt me#i’m so conflicted#i’m having an identity crisis#or just a crisis full stop#i just can’t#trans#nb#queer#gender identity#cw gender dysphoria
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Okay, but I have to say that part of me has no idea why (so don’t psychoanalyze me atm) but considering the support from my bestie and my love of villains in literature I’m gonna have to be nonjudgmental bc I feel I should announce my downfall as an obligation… I may have fallen into the slasher fic pool. I’d seen them float around before and was not for it, but now… perhaps I have been, the past few days 🙈
tagging for tags: @floral-and-fine 🙈😂😭🥰🙈
tagging for support: @purplebtsmagic
#tell me why some of the ones I’m reading-#are like- writing seemingly by#7th graders and no shade bc we all#started there- but- it makes me always think#‘I could do it better’ 🤔 more realistic#more nitty more gritty#and ahhh it makes me want to do it but ahhh#I also don’t#I haven’t even seen the movie tbh#and so idk if I should#idk where to even WATCH the movie#but I want to#and I even noticed a MUTUAL ALREADY HAD TOP BILLING ON#one of the hashtags#lmao#@floral-and-fine#love you mama#admittance#personal#writing#blog update#yeah you might see it#don’t comment 🙈😂😭🙈🙊
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When a fic doesn’t fit my head canons but it’s well-written

#I don’t think xy OR z happened but damn if this isn’t compelling#‘he would never do that. next chapter’#also it’s good to look beyond our own perceived ideas of the narrative and be fascinated by others takes#I’m only reading fanfics from one fandom so#gravity falls#fiddauthor#fan fiction#ao3#old man yaoi#the office#dwight schrute#screencaps
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Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.
But her family. Holy shit.
First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever
Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.
And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper
And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.
And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK
And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”
So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE
And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for
And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker
And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”
And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”
And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah
Yeah, I think I kinda get it
#Pride and prejudice#fuuuuuuuck#Yeah you both kinda stupid#I forgot some shit don’t hate me#Also yes I forgot Mary but I’m gonna say Darcy did too just to cover my ass#Self edit
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a feel like the new generation of fanfic readers NEED to understand that clicking on a fic (interaction) does nothing. ao3 has no algorithm. your private discord discussions of fic do not reach the authors. if you do not actively engage with writers they will stop posting. this isn’t social media this is community.
#i don’t care if you’re shy your usernames make you essentially anonymous#and also like you are going to have to interact with humans irl you can actually practice by doing it online#ao3#ao3 fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic
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sending illi & friends to the Big Dance…!!!









#mcr#my chemical romance#digital art#x#low key i don’t know if prep schools do prom but like. pretend#this is illi mcmillin To Me but they can also just be gerarde ❤️
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so many bands write songs about “relatable issues” that don’t resonate while the mountain goats write songs about issues no one has ever experienced before that are universal
#sometimes i legitimately have no idea what he is talking about but i also understand completely#like. the rivers *WERE* dry cuz it *WAS* late August!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!#and don’t even get me started on certain gardening secrets you don’t have yet (or certain gardening skills you’ll never learn)#the mountain goats#tmg
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College roommates, lab partners, to basically married pipeline
#myart#gravity falls#fiddauthor#ford pines#fiddleford#consider this a lil treat to make up for the many anguished souls from the last post#also!! thank you sm for all the love on the last post!#for all the new people I don’t actually draw gravity falls all that much-#will return to gravity falls shenanigans when need be
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if it was about 15 years ago i’d already have seen 12 different AMVs of chimera falin set to three days grace animal i have become on my feed but that just doesn’t happen anymore. because of woke
#i would also accept skillet monster for this.#dungeon meshi#they don’t even call them AMVs anymore. they call them fancams now. because of w#hall of fame
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endless night
#animal art#animal comic#penguin art#comic art#artists on tumblr#just a comic about emperor penguins#(they are emperor penguins but yellow didn’t go with the colour scheme loool)#(i tried to make it work just trust me lol)#i keep forgetting to upload here woops#sometimes i don’t wanna draw anthros#i’ve been wanting to experiment again#i have a couple pieces planned#but i also wanna do more horror#rlyyyyy hard to decide lmaoooo
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he bites
#Don’t ask why they’re in their suits while at school#I didn’t feel like making civilian outfits#I also have the og snap picture if anyone wants it#my doodles#artists on tumblr#Batfam#batfamily#batman#tim drake#damian wayne#stephanie brown#red robin#robin#spolier#spoiler dc#Dc
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Kissy Missy is a Real One
#(more doodles!)#(I also have a doodle of Riley…don’t know if I’ll post that)#kissy missy#fanart#art#poppy playtime fanart#poppy playtime chapter 4#poppy playtime doey#doey fanart#doey the doughman#kissy missy fanart#poppy playtime
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Jayce has an idea of what his perfect man should be like, it’s super specific and extremely vague at the same time
#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#arcane#my art#don’t worry Viktor you’re literally the ideal he just doesn’t know it yet#cause he is distracted by magic and thinks of nothing else#i would also consider letting (redacted) misgender me under certain circumstances
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most frustrating thing in the world is when you really like a character who sucks, and you know they suck, so you’re chill with people who dislike or even hate them because… well they suck, you get it. but then a whole bunch of people hate them for things that just aren’t actually accurate or canon to the character and just treat these inaccurate and awful character traits as a given, so then you feel like you gotta be this scumbag’s defense attorney. free my man, he did so much awful shit but he didn’t do that
#fuck it I’m adding the banner to the post itself not a reblog#jimmy has done many things but he did not storm the capitol or abuse his kids#still mostly a joke and i still like hearing about peoples shitty blorbos#but also I think some of you don’t know what ‘he didn’t do that’ means
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