#I am a little bit sad that I won't be able to work on it for like a week though :( going on a trip and I'm gonna have zero time for it

[chaoscradle]

New Byler WIP yay!!

[206024]

prolonged baby fever vs the knowledge that we will never have the money to raise a child properly

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

Howdy!

If I may, could I request the 141 boys + König and Alejandro hurt/comfort where they say they can't make it home for the readers birthday or something of importance to them and they get all sad and stuff but lo and behold there is their favorite boy waiting to surprise them! Thanks so much and I hope this made sense lol ❤❤❤

Hehe, yes! (I chose this one for my birthday because I'm a sucker for angst to fluff🫣)

141 + König & Alejandro Where They "Can't Make" An Important Date

Warnings: swearing, slight angst, mentions of crying, FLUFFFF

Ps: this picture of Simon always gets me🙈😭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon Ghost Riley-

"I'm so sorry, babe. I won't be able to make it in time." Simon's voice sounded gruff from the other end of the phone. He'd sounded exhausted.

You bit your lip to prevent yourself from crying. You knew when getting into the relationship with him that it could be like this. His work came first. That was that.

"Of course, it's alright. I'll see you when you get home, okay?" You mustered the steadiest voice you could, as you did your best to remain strong. "I love you, Simon."

Simon's heart broke slightly at the break in your voice. "I love you too, Y/N. I'll see you soon."

As he hung up the call, you let your tears flow freely down your cheeks. You'd missed him terribly, and truly thought he was going to make it home in time for your birthday. You weren't always one for celebrating it, but all you wanted this year was your boyfriend to be by your side for it.

You went to the bathroom to wash your face, calming yourself down. He'd be here if he could. You knew that. You couldn't fault him for his job. You made your way downstairs and grabbed your keys. Deciding it best to treat yourself today, you went and got your favorite breakfast at the local diner.

~

When you arrived back home, you stopped short of the front door. The front door was slightly ajar, and you could've sworn you locked it when you left. You slowly opened the door, reaching for the pepper spray in your pocket as you walked inside the house.

The sight you'd seen in the kitchen had your insides melting as you let out a squeal. "Simon!?"

Simon picked his head up from his spot at the table, where he was setting up a cake and gifts he'd gotten you. "Hey, kid. Happy Birthday."

Your bag was thrown to the grown as you ran into your boyfriend's outstretched arms. "You're home! You're really home."

"Of course I am. I wouldn't miss my baby's birthday for the world." He gave you a longing kiss to your lips, before pulling away, resting his forehead on yours.

"But you said you couldn't make it?" You pulled back slightly, looking at him.

"I can be pretty convincing when I want to be. Helps that Price adores you." He kissed your forehead before grabbing your hand and leading you to the table. "Now, enough of the small talk. Got the whole day planned out for you."

Simon really did plan the entire day out for you, specifically catered to everything he knew you loved. He'd make sure his love was cared for and shown the utmost appreciation on their special day. You were everything to Simon, so it was only fair that he showed you what you meant to him.

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

"I promise, I'll make it up to you. The debrief is just lasting a little longer than we anticipated."

You felt a pang in your chest at your boyfriend's words. It was your 5 year anniversary today, and you'd had dinner plans to celebrate the special day. You'd just arrived at the restraunt, when you'd gotten the call from Johnny.

"Oh. Okay, I understand. It's fine, we don't have to celebrate today." Your voice trembled slightly as you fought against the tears beginning to form. "I'll see you soon?"

"Absolutely, baby. Got a little surprise for you, though. I made you a reservation at that hotel you love so much by our place. Head on over, there's a room waiting for you." Johnny smiled at the other end of the phone. You had no idea what was waiting for you.

You perked up slightly at this. It was clear he was still trying, even though he couldn't be there, and you couldn't fault him for that. You wiped away your tears and took a deep breath. "That's so thoughtful, Johnny. I'll grab a bag from home and head over. I'll call you later?"

"I won't be able to talk later, but you enjoy your night, sweetheart. I promise to make it up to you. I love you." Johnny said before hanging up the call.

Your bottom lip quivered as you hiccuped a shallow sob before wiping your eyes aggressively. It wasn't Johnny's fault. You knew that.

~

You'd arrived at the hotel an hour later and made your way up to your room. Sliding the key into the door, you shuffled in with your duffle bag nearly dropping to your knees at the sight that greeted you. Johnny had rented out a suite, with rose petals on the bed, and in the center of the bed sat your boyfriend.

"J-Johnny?" Your bottom lip wobbled as you took in the sight before you.

"Happy Anniversary, babe." He gave you a shit eating grin before making his way to you, engulfing you in a massive hug. "Wanted to surprise you." Only made it here half an hour ago. I was worried I wouldn't make it."

You squeezed him tightly as an elated laugh bubbled from your chest. "I love you so fucking much, Johnny."

"I love you too, sweets. Now, what do you say we pop open this champagne and enjoy ourselves an anniversary night?" He sent you a sly wink, silently telling you that you'd probably get very little sleep tonight.

Alejandro-

"Where's daddy?" Your daughter asked you, her little eyes pooling with tears. "He said he'd be here."

"I know, cariño, I'm sorry." You gave her a sad smile before adjusting her costume. "But you know what? You're going to do so good up there, and know that daddy is so proud of you."

You gave her back a reassuring pat as you watched her go with her friends to get ready.

Alejandro had gotten called in a few days ago but had promised your daughter he'd be here, and your heart broke slightly for her. Today was her theater camps day to perform their play, and she'd been talking about it all summer.

You exhaled deeply as you twiddled your thumbs before making your way to the audience to find an empty seat.

You found one toward the front row and sat before mindlessly scrolling on your phone to kill time until the show started.

"This seat taken?" You hear a familiar voice ask from beside you.

You turned to find your husband taking the unoccupied seat next to you. "Look lonely over here, figured a cutie like you could use some company."

"Ale?" You asked, unable to control your giddiness at your husband's sudden arrival. "You're here!"

"Si, mi amor. I wasn't going to miss her play. I got Rodolfo to take over during my absence. Needed to be here for my loves." He smiled at you warmly before leaning in to kiss you.

You sunk yourself into him as you returned the kiss, pulling back with an elated smile. "She's going to be so happy, baby."

He gave you a nod before kissing your forehead and lacing his fingers with yours. "I missed you, my love."

~

The lights dimmed as the play began, and you snuck glances throughout the production at your husband, who was beaming with pride at watching his little girl up on stage.

He was also by far the loudest, when all of the family members stood up to applaud their young performers, and his exuberance immediately caught the attention of his daughter.

Seconds after they were dismissed, she came barreling around the corner, tears in her eyes as she ran to her dad.

"Daddy!" Your daughter screamed, running as fast as her little legs could carry her. "I just knew you'd be here!"

Alejandro caught her in his arms, spinning her around. "Of course, princessa. You looked so beautiful up there. I'm so proud of you."

She wiped her tears away, throwing her arms around her dad. "I love you daddy, thank you for being here."

"I wouldn't miss it for anything, baby girl."

John Price-

"Where's John!?" You cried out, panic rising in your chest. He promised he'd be here, but where was he? You didn't want to bring your child into this world without him, but you couldn't wait much longer.

A few days ago, he'd gotten called in by Laswell along with Gaz for a simple mission that should've ended a day ago. John knew he'd do anything to be at the birth of your child, but he'd left you in the care of his best friend Simon, just in case. He trusted the man with his life, so there was nobody better he'd trust with his wife in a moment like this.

"I'm so sorry, he said he's running late. The plane hasn't landed yet that I know of." Simon told you, pushing back your sweaty hair that had fallen in your face. "It'll be okay."

"No, no, it won't be okay. He promised Simon!" You started to sob, your breathing increasing rapidly. "I want my husband!"

Another contraction tore through you, and you screamed out in pain, gripping your friends hand tightly. "Simon, he promised."

"I know, sweetheart." He rubbed a soothing hand on your back as your body racked from your sobbing.

Simon did his best to soothe you, as contractions and sobs tore through you. Your heart broke the closer your delivery got, knowing that your husband may truly not make it here in time.

It wasn't long after that the doctor came in, with the nurse in tow. He gave you a once over, and nodded to the woman next to him.

"Alright, Y/N. It's time to push. We can't delay any longer." The doctor gave you a sad smile before moving to sit at the end of the bed.

You gave a nod, a few more tears spilling out as you began squeezing Simon's hand harder and were preparing to push when your husband barged through the door, still fully clothed in his gear. "Fuck did I miss it?!"

"JOHN!" You cried out, reaching your arms wildly for your husband. "You're here, oh my god you're here."

John immediately ran to you, discarding some of his loose gear in the corner of the room, before enveloping you into a side hug. "Of fucking course I'm here sweetheart. I wouldn't miss this. I'm so sorry I'm late."

Simon gave you both a warm smile before kissing your temple and leaving the room. This was your moment, after all. "I'll be right outside. I can't wait to meet the little one."

John took Simon's spot, pressing soft kisses on your hands as you began to push. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear, cheering you on as you brought his daughter into the world.

~

Later that afternoon, John watched in admiration as you held his baby girl in your arms. His entire world, everything he had to live for, was sitting right in front of him.

John was damn grateful that he didn't have to miss this moment. Besides marrying you, this was the best day of his life.

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

It was nearing the end of your workday, and your excitement began to bubble in your chest as you awaited your anniversary dinner with your husband, Kyle.

You'd been together for a little over 7 years now, but this was your first as a married couple. Your legs bounced anxiously as you counted down the time, only stopping when you saw Kyle's caller ID on the phone.

Smiling to yourself, you were quick to grab your phone and answer. "Hey Ky."

"Hey, babe. Look, I don't think I'll be able to make it home tonight. The flight got delayed again. I'm so sorry. I know how much you were looking forward to tonignt."

You felt your eyes growing hot as you absorbed his words. He'd miss your first anniversary? "I see. It's...it's okay. Things happen."

Kyle sighed on the other end. He knew you were trying to stay strong. "I love you so much, okay? Happy Anniversary, baby. I promise I'll see you soon."

"You too." You choked out, quickly ending the call so he didn't hear you cry. You knew it always tore him up when you did.

You quickly tried composing yourself, as you were still at work before your eyes fell on the time. You still had a few hours until you could even go home.

~

Later that night, you'd decided to order takeout to soothe your sadness, and rounded the corner to your home when you saw Kyle's car in the driveway.

You blinked a few times as you parked the car. He said he wouldn't be able to make it? Why was his car here, though?

You unbuckled your seat belt, and made your way as fast as you could inside, stopping dead in your tracks as you saw your husband in the kitchen, cooking the two of you dinner.

The table had been set up with a vase of fresh cut roses, candles, and glasses of wine. Kyle heard your footsteps and turned around with a grin. "Happy Anniversary, babe."

You sprinted over to him, jumping on him and wrapping your legs around his waist as you squeezed him tightly. "I'm so happy you're here. I thought you weren't going to make it."

"About that. I actually made it in early this afternoon, but I had to go for a bit of a drive. Had to get you your anniversary gift. Thought it was going to take a lot longer than it did." He set you down, giving you a longing kiss before pulling away with a smile. "Care to watch the stove a moment?"

You gave him a curious glance as you watched him walk down the hall. You turned to the stove, watching the meal cook, before hearing a scuffle from behind you.

You turned around and were met with the sight of a puppy, barreling toward you. "Oh my God! It's a puppy!"

Kyle laughed, and he watched your face light up, crouching down beside you as the two of you pet the little creature. "I overheard you the other week talking to your friend about this guy. He was at that shelter in the country you like so much, so I had to go and get him."

"Kyle! This...this is amazing, I don't know how I could ever thank you. I can't express how grateful I am to you. I love you." Happy tears formed in your eyes as you pressed a kiss to your husband's lips, before returning your attention to the pup in front of you.

"All I ever need in return is your happiness, babe. Happy Anniversary."

König-

"Maus, I can't apologize enough. I don't know if I'll make it today."

You smiled sadly in the phone, glancing at your best friend across from you. "It's okay, Kö. It's not your fault. I'm with Y/F/N anyway, I won't be alone today."

"You guys out to eat?" König asked, and you could hear shuffling in the background.

"Yeah, they brought me out to breakfast. I'm not sure what we are doing next. They've evidently got an itinerary for me." You chuckled softly as your friend shot you a wink.

"That's wonderful, Schatz, I'll call you soon?"

"Of course. I love you, Kö."

"I love you too. Happy birthday." His warm tone had your heart panging in your chest. You missed him horribly, as you hadn't seen him for a few weeks. He was supposed to have been home today to celebrate your birthday, but it seemed the universe had other plans.

You hung up the call, putting your phone back in your bag, and turned back to your friend. "Alright. What else do we have today?"

~

Later on that afternoon, your best friend had driven up to your house with you in the passenger seat. "What are all those cars doing at your neighbors?"

You turned to inspect the house and saw quite a few cars lined up outside. "Oh, they always throw house parties. It's probably something like that."

You followed your best friend inside after exiting the car. The house was eerily quiet and dark, especially given you'd always left lights on whenever you left.

You looked to your best friend and saw a wide smile on their face. "Y/F/N?"

"SURPRISE!" You blinked a few times as all the lights had turned on at once, revealing the 141 boys, a few members of Kortac, and most importantly, your husband König.

You felt tears coming to your eyes as you absorbed the moment. König made his way over to you, beaming as he saw the look of pure elation on your face. "Happy Birthday, Maus."

You let out a squeal before jumping into your lover's arms. "Oh, König. I can't tell you how happy I am you're here. Thank you, thank you."

"There's nowhere else I'd ever want to be than by your side. I apologize for the secrecy, I'm not good at keeping secrets, so I needed a few hours to get everything together." He spoke softly, as he placed a chaste kiss to your lips.

"Alright, you two, get a room later. Let's enjoy this bomb ass persons birthday!" You heard Johnny call from the corner of the room, causing you and König to chuckle.

König pressed another kiss to your lips before pulling away with a contagious smile. "Happy Birthday, Y/N. I love you."

And a happy birthday it was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Unless gender is specifically mentioned in asks, I'm doing my very best to make it GN! For all my writings. Please bear with me if I make a few slip ups!

[thehusbandoden]

Can I request pregnant reader hcs for deku, bakugo, denki,kirishima,and Sero?

A/n: of course!! I hope these weren't repetitive or too short 😅

Pregnant Reader Headcannons Part 1 (Izuku, Bakugo, Denki, Kiri, and Sero)

General info:

Genre: fluff/slice of life \\ total wc: 1,544 \\ posted: 12/05/2023 \\ requested

Part 2 (Aizawa, Shoto, Shinso, and Tamaki)

Midoriya Izuku (202 words):

The sweetest husband.

He would literally do anything for you.

He rubs your feet, shoulders, back, and belly bump every day before work.

He'll make you breakfast and cuddle you as he spoils you with affection.

He's almost always blushing ever so slightly.

He just can't believe that he was able to get you.. you're just so.. perfect..

He's not really protective, but he will stand up if someone takes it too far.

He gets paternity leave around five months into your pregnancy.

He's literally with you every step of the way, doing his very best to support you however he possibly can.

You are absolutely spoiled.. and you totally love it.

He holds your belly bump for about half an hour every morning and night.. just trying to make your day a little bit better.

He'll give your feet a quick peck before putting your socks on.

Then comes the shoes..

And the ties..

And then he helps you up.

He's seriously so freaking selfless.

Oh, and he will not tolerate Bakugo's agressiveness towards you.

They almost got into a fight once...

Anyway I think he deserves to be at the very least in the top five.

Bakugo Katsuki (508 words):

You thought he was protective before?

Well you're in for it.

This man refuses to let you go anywhere without him.

When he's home, he won't even let you go to the bathroom without him..

He's still acts tsundere, but less extreme. If you tease him he'll deny it, unless you're having a bad day.. than he'll let you tease him all you want and he'll admit to his simp behavior.

When the two of you are outside he has an arm around your shoulders, his hand resting on your baby bump.

If anyone looks at you for too long he'll growl.. litteraly..

And if they still don't take the hint? He'll growl louder. Especially if it's a man.

He isn't afraid to get physical. Even if it ruins his reputation, if he sees someone flirting with you, or someone just gives him creepy vibes he'll pull you behind him, his chest puffing out as he glares, snarling.

His arm is around your waist, pulling you against him.

If the person still won't back down he'll get into their face, and he isn't afraid to hit them.. or straight up fight them if they hit back.

He is seriously a simp for you.

He'll rub your feet, back, shoulders, and belly bump.

He'll put on your socks shoes, and tie them. He'll get you snacks at 2 am and he'll cook for you whenever you'd like.

As soon as you started having difficulty with mudane tasks he took paternity leave.

He didn't ask his higher ups, he told them.

He was glued to your side almost 24/7.

Your wish was his demand, and your comfort was his ultimate desire.

He cooked every meal for you, making sure that you got all the nutrients you and baby/babies needed.

His hand was resting on your bump all the time.

He loved every inch of you even more than before, almost reminding you how goregous you are.

He's a whole lot stricter with your health. He makes sure that you eat enough, drink enough, and get enough sleep.

His exercise routine turned into a short walk with you in the mornings or evenings, holding you against him as he glared at whoever dared look at your beauty.

He's with you every step of the way, and doesn't say or do anything when you scream at him.

He handles your mood swings like a pro.

Sad?

Nothing cuddles, a movie, and your comfort food can't fix.

Angry or frustrated?

He'll be your punching bag.. as long as you cuddle him afterwards.. he gets insecure too, so don't wait too long.

Insecure?

He'll spend hours telling you every little thing he loves about you and why.

Energetic, excited, or happy?

He'll match your energy completely, making sure you feel seen and appreciated.

To be honest, he's one of the best husbands out there when you melt his cold heart.. as long as you give him cuddles.

(Don't ask what happens if he doesn't get his cuddles... and kisses. Do not forget his kisses.

Kaminari Denki (266 words):

This man..

He is so head over heels for you.

He spoiled you before.. but now you were surrounded in his love.

He calls you nicknames like:

Beautiful, gorgeous, my queen, my darling love, mother of my child, my everything, and my sexy Goddess.

Your self esteem literally skyrocketed.

He's complimenting you twice in every sentence, buying you endless gifts with notes attached to each one.

I'm not sure about anyone else.. but I believe that when Denki falls.. he falls hard.

Like he's not some flirt anymore.

He flirts with you, and you only.. 25/8.

Makes sure everyone knows that you're his.. that being said he's not overly protective unless he gets jealous/insecure or you're uncomfortable.

He literally rubs your feet like twice an hour.

Always touching you in some way or another.

This man is sooo freaking clingy.

He's been hours late to work just for cuddles.. he won't let you go.

And he doesn't listen to reason either.

You've literally almost peed the bed numerous times.. but he's quickly learned that cuddling you to that point makes him lose his cuddling privileges.. so he stops.

He literally whines if you leave him for more than a minute.

He'll call your name with a heartbroken tone, begging you to come back to him.

He'll go on and on with his sob story, asking you why you don't love him anymore and why you fell in love with someone else.. yes he is very dramatic.

All in all he's a great husband.. especially when you're pregnant.

(He wants like 20 more lol)

Kirishima Eijiro (451 words):

Kirishima is in the top three best husbands if not the first.

Especially when it comes to pregnancy.

He doesn't care what you say, this man is working, cleaning, cooking, and pampering you.

He's on paternity leave as soon as possible, asking nicely the first few times before getting agitated.

Like Bakugo, he's very protective.

He holds your hand or waist outside, and if it came down to it he would fight to protect you.

He's not really jealous per say, but he is insecure and kind of possessive.

If he sees a man staring at you he'll frown, but won't do anything but hold you a little tighter against his chest.

After a few minutes he'll start to get insecure, a lot of 'what ifs' going through his head.

He starts to think that the man might be more attractive, or stronger. Maybe he would be able to protect you better, or make you happier.

His thoughts continue to spiral until you notice, and pull him into a long, reassuring kiss.

It instantly makes him feel better, and he's really smiley as you pull away.

Whisper 'I love you, and only you' in his ear for extra points.

He is the definition of simp.

He'll do anything and everything you ask, even if it was just after a twelve hour shift, he won't complain and work to make you comfortable and happy.

When he finally gets paternity leave he isn't leaving your side for a second.

He's a lot less demanding than Bakugo.. more like a lost puppy.

If he could, he would definitely cuddle you all day every day.

He'll follow you throughout the house, sticking close behind you. He'd sit right in front of you as you use the bathroom if you'd let him.

He views you as his queen, and himself as your servant, even though you've told him many many times that he was your king.

He denied it until you had a meltdown over it one night when your hormones were through the roof.

He apologized profusely, holding you to his chest as he whispered reassurance .

He stopped calling himself your servant, but he still kept his simp behaviour.. that wasn't negotiable.

His favourite thing to do is cuddle after giving you a long and relaxing foot massage.

He'll spoil you rotten tbh... letting you buy as many baby clothes as you desire.

Don't get me wrong, he loved and spoiled you before your pregnancy, but now you could practically get away with anything.

He viewed you as his beautiful queen before.. but now you were his gorgeous Goddess.

And he would do anything to make sure that you were safe, comfortable, happy, and loved.

Sero Hanta (162 words):

I've never written for Sero before.. I hope it's at least okay lol <3

Sero is a huge romantic, and so of course he's going to give you the princess treatment.

Foot rubs, cuddles, and cravings galore.

He's a lot more laid back than some other characters, but he wouldn't tolerate someone making you uncomfortable.

If a guy came up and started flirting with you, he'd smirk and watch you reject them with a mischievous smile.

But.. if you looked uncomfortable he would immediately jump in, pulling you into a kiss as he grinned sinisterly at the man.

As soon as the guy was uncomfortable he pulled away, leaving a few pecks across your cheeks, nose, and lips.

He whispered an 'I love you' in your ear before wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you against him as he walked away.

He's not really a 'simp', but he definitely is a good husband who takes care of you as much as he physically can.

~~~~~

Masterlist | Navigation | You can tip me here <3

Izuku's masterlist | Bakugo's masterlist | Denki's masterlist | Kiri's masterlist

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <33

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 5 - Put it into Speed Drive

Longer chapter this time! The next update probably won't be until Tuesday, and or Wednesday night and then Thursday.

For planning, after 2023 is up, I will not be keeping up with the actual schedule for the races. The chapters will still come in chronological order, but it won't be week by week. This will be the start of the parallel universe.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please comment! And now enjoy the show :)

You were practically buzzing after the suit fitting. It was just one step closer to getting you in the car. Which would happen very soon. Sunday to be exact. Tomorrow. There were just so many words to describe how soon it was. 

You went from no open doors in F1 to a door that was blown to bits and then shredded, leaving a giant hole for you to just walk through. However, your daydreams of blowing doors up were interrupted by the growl of you stomach. You walked through the door of the fitting room and found Vito right where you left him. 

Such a good manager. 

He was talking to someone though, and you really didn’t want to interrupt. But, your stomach was about to commence in the whale mating call song and you really didn’t want anyone to hear that. Your eyes glanced around before they landed on Mitch, who seemed to just be typing on her tablet. 

You quickly walk over and tap her on the shoulder. “Mitch, uh, where would I be able to find some food?” 

She looked up from her tablet with a smile. Dang, did she just smile at everything? 

“I can take you to get some food if you’d like me to?” she responded. You quickly nodded your head. Taking the lead, Mitch started to walk over to the other side of the sim room. How many rooms were connected to this place? You wondered as she opened a door. 

“This room is one of the more private areas, which in return, gets its own side of the building. From here you’re able to reach just about any other place.” Now that was creepy, could she read your mind? 

Your face must have been in a contemplative look as she let out a small laugh. The walk was short as the two of you entered an all-while room. A small cooking bar was to the left while tables and chairs littered the rest of the floor. Your mouth was wide open. 

You told Mitch, “Dams is not this nice.” A pout came from you. 

“Well, now you don’t have to be jealous. You know that you work here now,” she reminded you as she took a tray and began to walk down the bar. You followed her doing and picked up your own tray. Looking up, you gazed over the menu, trying to find something that looked like it would fit in your diet. 

“By the way, everything here is supposed to go hand in hand with a driver’s diet. So pick anything you’d like,” a voice said from behind the counter. A woman with a hairnet smiled as you finally decided on a club sandwich with some chips (the crunchy kind – not French fries). Once you got your food, you walked over to the table next to the window where Mitch was already sitting. 

You quickly remember that you practically left Vito, so you shot him a quick text letting him know where you were. In typical fashion, she just sent a thumbs up emoji. What a dad. 

The two of you ate in silence for a bit, before Mitch spoke up. 

“So kid, tell me a little bit about yourself.” She took a bite of her sandwich. 

You quickly swallowed. “Uh, I’m 20 years old. I’m from a lot of places, didn’t really stay in one place for long. The longest I stayed anywhere was Texas for 5 years (a.n. shameless plug). I’m pretty introverted and don’t normally talk to others first. I have a little apartment in Nice, but now I think I should look for one close to here. I am an only child. And Danny DeVito is my spirit animal.” 

Mitch almost spit out her drink as her shoulders began to shake. That also got you laughing. “What about you?” you questioned back. You were beginning to feel sad because your sandwich was almost gone. 

“Well, I am 35. I have been at Red Bull for two years now. I was an engineer before this and worked on the car. I don’t have any kids.” 

You interrupted her, “Well now you do.” You pointed at yourself before taking a giant slurp of your drink. 

She rolled her eyes before continuing, “I’ve lived in London my whole life. I have a degree in engineering as well. And my favorite season is fall.” 

Small talk continued as you finished your lunch, or almost dinner. As you looked out the window, you saw that the sun was about to begin to set. You hadn’t realized how long everything had taken. A yawn escaped your lips as you and Mitch made your way back to the simulator room. There Vito was waiting for you, looking ready to go. Saying goodbye with a hug, you told Mitch that you’d see her bright and early for the test drive. 

Not wanting to get left behind, you found yourself sticking to Vito as he guided the two of you back down the poster hallway. At least now you were familiar with the turns and twists. Like the past few days, a car was waiting for you outside. Vito slipped into the driver’s seat while you went around and climbed into the passenger side. 

You immediately connected your phone to sound system. You snickered as you chose the song. 

Vito groaned when he heard the opening notes. You could only laugh as the beat started to pick up. 

“Ah-ah Barbie you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Jump into the driver seat and put it into speed drive,” you sang, directed at Vito. To hear the base a bit more, you turned the volume up. However, when it came to the next verse, and you were about to start yelling, your phone began to ring. 

Arthur’s contact photo, one of you at his birthday, popped up. You immediately answered the face time and yelled. 

“Dude, you threw off my groove!” His laughs could be heard throughout the car as his face got into the camera range.  

“I’m sorry?” 

“You should be. What’s up?” 

“I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out later tonight? Since I’m here for testing.” You froze and looked at Vito with wide eyes. You quickly pointed your phone towards the roof of the car. 

You mouthed, “What do I do?” You were scared. What were you supposed to say? Oh hey Arthur, I actually signed a multi-year contract with Red Bull two days ago. Sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner? You definitely could not do that. 

Yet, a slight jut of Vito’s head told you that you could tell him the truth. You inhaled sharply. 

“I’m actually not in Paris at the moment.” Arthur paused. . You only hoped that he wouldn’t be mad at you. 

“You’re not? I thought you were going to be sim testing.” 

“I thought so to. And then I might have gotten a text from…” you muttered the last bit. 

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” He put a hand to his ear. 

You huffed before you shouted, clearly overwhelmed. “I got a text from Christian Horner and I’m driving with Red Bull for 2024!” Your shallowed breaths filled the air. Vito’s hand was placed on your knee for comfort. 

“Well, duh. I knew that dummy?” 

“Hello?” you could only get out. Who told him? 

“You do know that even though my brother may not seem to be friends with Max, they actually are. And Max likes to talk, so he told my brother and my brother told me.” Your eyes must have been bulging. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you sighed, “I didn’t know if I could.” 

Arthur responded, “It’s quite alright. It was fun making you panic for a moment.” 

“You’re an ass. First you interrupt my wonderful concert that Vito was enjoying…” 

“I was not,” Vito leaned towards the phone. 

“As I was saying, men the woman is speaking, and then you decide to make me almost spiral into a panic attack. Not nice TurTur.” You wiggled your finger at the screen. 

He smiled, “I’m actually here in London as well. Thought you might want some company. And Vito invited me to see you drive tomorrow. I’m waiting in your room.” He showed you a room that was almost identical to the one you had at the hotel. You squealed at the thought of seeing him. 

It was a good thing that the car had pulled up to the hotel, because you seat belt flew off in record time. You barely were able to get a quick thank you to the workers before you got to the elevator. You’re sure you pressed the buttons too many times, but the damn thing wouldn’t open any quicker. 

The moment the doors open, you bolted inside, but came into contact with a body, that knocked the two of you over. You said a quick apology before darting to the side and getting in the elevator. You barely saw a neon hoodie and some brown curls before the doors closed. 

Pressing hard down on your floor button, you willed the elevator to move quicker. After what felt like forever, the box dinged. You dashed down the carpeted hallway as you took your key card out of your pocket. 

Although you barely swiped it, the lock beeped and let you into the room. 

Arthur was not expecting you to all but tackle him as you dive bombed into his arms. The forced knocked the both of you off the bed. The pile of limbs and bodies that you and your best friend were ended up in a pile on the floor. You could not stop laughing as you held him tighter. 

You needed him, especially after these past stressful days. Remembering what he did earlier, you pulled back and started to hit him. His hands raised up and tried to defend against your much smaller hands. 

“You” -hit- “are” -smack- “an” -whack- “ass Arthur Leclerc.” 

“Ouch woman, you hurt me,” he feigns as he puts a hand on his heart. Your attacks died down as you hauled yourself off the floor. You held out a hand, he took it, and you lifted him as well. But the moment he was upright, you pushed him over on the bed. His giggles left his mouth. Instead of getting up like you thought he would, he snuggled more into your bed. 

You might as well join him. Hiking your leg up, you rolled him over some before slotting yourself in the space next to him. He let out a noise of complaint, even though he basically opened you with opened arms. 

“I’m glad you’re here. It’s been very stressful,” your words were muffled as you put your head on his chest. 

He let out a scoff, “Sure. You’ve been playing around in the top of the line simulator.” 

Whack. 

“Would you stop that?” he questioned as he dug his fingers into your sides. Laughter soon tumbled out of your lips before you could stop them. 

“Arthur, stop it!” You tried to force his hands away. But because of your smaller build, he was able to continue the attacks. 

A knock at the door saved your life. You all but rolled off the bed, out of Arthur’s arms, and walked to the door. However, you flipped Arthur off before your hand reached the knob. On the other side of the door, Vito stood with his phone in his hand. He looked up once the door was all the way opened. 

“Hi Vito. What’s up?” you asked with head cocked to the side.

“You two up for some karaoke?” He looked over your shoulder at Arthur, who was still sprawled on the bed. 

“I’m down for it. Hey Arthur!” you yelled, Vito wincing at the volume. 

Arthur’s head popped up. “Yeah?” 

“Karaoke?”

He smirked. “Hell yeah.” 

A couple of hours later, you found yourself with Arthur in a karaoke room. Vito had been blacked out for a while on the couch. 

“COUNTRY ROAD, TAKE ME HOME, TO A PLACE, WHERE I BELONG!” Arthur sang into the very cheap looking microphone. 

You continued, sounding as equally bad, “WEST VIRGINA, MOUTAIN MOMMA, COUNTRY ROAD, TAKE ME HoOOoooOOOmE!” 

The song ended and you and Arthur took a mock bow. 

Arthur chanted, “Next song, next song, next song.” Yeah, he was definitely gone. 

“Since you ruined this earlier, I’m picking this one.” You clicked on a button. The familiar beats from earlier that day filled the small room. Arthur groaned from beside you. “Nuh-uh. This is your faut, and now you have to pay the price.” 

Half-heartedly, Arthur began to sing, “She my best friend in the whole world.” He pointed at you while singing the lyrics. You placed your hands on your chest and mocked a sincere look. He only shoved your head away and continued. 

You decided that standing on the table was a good place to sing the chorus, “AH AH BARBIE YOU’RE SO FINE, YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND” 

Arthur finally got into it, “JUMP INTO THE DRIVERS SEAT AND PUT IT INTO SPEED DRive…” the music was suddenly shut off. 

An angry looking worker walked in and told you to get off the table and to leave for the night. You sheepishly got down, walked over to Vito with Arthur, woke him up, and you three were on your way. 

The two of you looked like kids who had to be taken home after getting in trouble with the principal at the school. However, that wouldn’t stop the snickers and giggles that soon filled the whole car, Vito included. 

You were glad that it wasn’t too late. The next morning would be terrible if you didn’t have a good night’s sleep. 

Arthur made sure to get what time everyone was leaving before retiring to his room for the night. You made sure to post some things on your Instagram story before heading to bed. 

You were surprised you had gotten some sleep, because when you woke up, you couldn’t stop shaking. Not know if it was from excitement or nervousness, you got ready quickly. There was a fruit bowl in your room. For breakfast, you indulged in a banana and an orange. Vito probably arranged for a bigger breakfast to be served at the practice track. 

You met up with Arthur and Vito in the lobby. You nudged him as you walked passed. 

“You ready?” he asked as he followed you to the car that was waiting under the walkway. 

“As I’ll every be.” There was a slight hitch in your tone that told Arthur everything he needed to know. 

After the two of you climbed into the back seats, and Vito in the passenger seat, Arthur put his arm around you. Just the feeling of his company helped to ease the anxiety that was bubbling inside you. It seemed to grow with each corner that got you closer and closer to the track. 

There would be quite a few people there today, more than you would like. But each person was necessary. The track was farther and out of the city. 

You knew that Mitch would have your suit and helmet ready for you once you got there. You would be debrief on the track and how the car should behave. You would be doing a mock race, but it would still be shorter than most races – about 50 laps or so. 

Your goal that you had gone over with Mitch would be to set one of the fastest test laps. Your time to beat was 1 minute and 19.721 seconds. You thumbs-upped the message and said that you’d try your best. 

The car slowed down as it approached the entrance. And before you knew it, you were in your suit and balaclava as Mitch talked with you once more before you started getting in the car. It was one of the newer cars, the RB 17. 

You saw Christian approach and you checked over a few more things. 

“You like the car?” he asked, nodding his head over to the machine behind him. 

“I love it. Can’t wait to see how she drives. Was she driven for any races?” You were curious and wanted to know. 

He smirked. “That is Max’s championship car.” Your hands froze, holding your zipper. You looked up at Christian, eyes wide. You gulped. 

“Aha, very funny.” 

“I’m not joking.” His face was deadpanned. 

“Well, I will try to be careful with it.” He only laughed and put a hand on your shoulder. 

“You just drive the car like you normally do. The sim showed me everything I need to know.” With that, he walked closer to the wall and put a on a set of headphone.

“No pressure Y/n,” you told yourself. Breathing in and out, you put your helmet on. Arthur decided to walk up and clip the two straps for you, something he often did before your races. You both did your little handshake before he patted you shoulder. He was also given some headphones, along with Vito. They were all counting on you. 

You stepped closer to the car. Lifting your leg, you swung it over, then the other. You shimmied down into the car and connected the things that needed to be connected. The men around you started to lower the car and take off the different machinery. You would start the track on medium tires. You were told that after the first half, you could switch to the softs if you think you needed to. 

The final parts of the car were put on and you were handed the steering wheel. You carefully placed the connect parts together as you felt the car turned on. You could feel it almost breathing. It was alive. 

You were able to taxi the car out onto the mock grid. 

“Alright Y/n, radio check,” Mitch’s voice came on through your helmet. 

“If I can have a walk up song for Vegas, I heard a rumor that that was coming back, and if I get introduced, can it be Life is a Highway? Please?” 

“Radio is working,” Mitch responded. 

“Please Mitch?” you prodded. You heard a sigh as you smiled. 

“We can discuss later. I will ask Christian.” You did a small pump of your hands before getting back into the zone. From where you were, you had a good view of the lights. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Speed. I am speed. 

Red. Red. Red. 

Green. 

Your feet hit the pedals and off you went for the “warming up” lap. The track had a good mix of straights and turns to warm up the tires. 

The first few laps after went smoothly. But, you knew it wasn’t time for your flying lap. To keep it fair, the past drivers only had one lap to set a time. 

You pressed the button for the radio, “There seems to be some unbalance on Turn 5. I don’t know if it’s the track or the car.” Your voice sounded rattly. 

“Checking,” Mitch responded back at the “pit lane.” 

Christian piped up from her right, “Max has said that before about that exact turn. It’s uncanny.” 

“Ok kid, it seems like it might be an issue with the track. Try to avoid it by slowing down to go wide, but accelerate going out of the apex.” 

“Roger,” you responded. On the next lap, you did exactly that. And you were pleased to see that it actually worked. 

“Balance of the car is good.” 

“Thank you Y/n.” 

“Can I come in for softs? I want to try the flying lap.” 

“Ok, box for softs.” 

You pulled your car into the pit lane. It wasn’t the fastest pit stop you’ve had, but it really didn’t matter. You did a few laps on the softs. Although you knew the track would eat them up, you also knew that you did your best laps on slightly used softs. 

Christian spoke up again, “She knows that softs run out quickly. She should have done the flying lap on the first one.” 

Now, Arthur talked first, “She does all of her best laps on slightly used softs. It’s how she’s won so many races. Because Y/n knows her tires better than anyone.” Christian hummed as he watched your dot go around the animated track. 

The radio beeped as a message came from your car, “I’m gonna go for it. Starting the flying lap.” 

Mitch responded, “Copy.” The team waited with baited breath and you seemed to glide around the turns. 

You were truly one with whatever car you drove. 

The clocked seemed to tick in slow motion as you finally came to the last straight. Once you passed the line, you slowed down just a bit. 

“Ok Mitch, how did I do?” you asked. 

She breathed before responding, “One minute, nineteen point 7 seconds. Congratulations kid, you have broken our current record. Your cheers could be heard over the radio. They mixed with the team’s own cheering as well. You were just .021 seconds faster than whoever held the previous record. And you did it in a two, almost, three year old car. 

“Who used to hold the position?” 

This time, Christian’s voice came on over the radio, “It was Max, kid.” 

You let out a laugh of disbelief, before realizing that Christian was on the radio. 

“Christian, can my walk up song for Vegas be Life is a Highway. Please.” You waited for his answer. 

“Sure kid.” 

“Yes! Best day ever! Can I got another lap? I want to put this baby into speed drive. Vito! Arthur!”

“On it kid.” 

“Got it Y/n!” 

You guessed one of them held their phones to the radio. This time you would hear the entire song. You knew it. You shimmied back down into the seat and floored the throttle. 

Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @leilanixx @angsthology @digitalizeduniqueness @topguncultleader @landosgirlxoxo @gods-menace @itsjustkhaos @thefandomswhre @alwaysboredsworld @vellicora @bintuabbas @sam-is-lost @empress-kimiko

[im-sleepdeprived]

Crazier • Pt. 1

pairing: mcu!peter parker x reader

a/n: this is a series ! prob 3 parts im thinking (i think im back AH), editing took me 10000 years actually so if there's something wrong PLEASE don't tell me !!! :D

warnings: umm just me not knowing anything about star wars, girls support girls<3, mentions of breakup, honestly theres nothing wrong but i think i said 'shit' like twice if you give a shit lmfao

"There's no way you actually think 'Return Of The Jedi' is better than 'The Empire Strikes Back'. Like, come on dude, it's so obvious which is better," Ned exclaimed, obviously feeling very strongly about the little debate he had currently going on with Peter. 

However, Peter couldn't have been more nonchalant. "Listen, man, I love debating with you but I know where I stand and this is where I draw the line," he shrugged.

Ned opened his mouth, no doubt to argue some more with his best friend, when his gaze shifted to you, "Hey man, maybe we should talk about something Y/N can enjoy too."

That made your head snap up from where you were just toying with the food on your tray. "Don't worry about me guys," you forced a smile, "Honestly, I love watching Ned beat you into a pulp about movies," you looked at Peter. 

Peter put on his 'sad-puppy-dog-face', "Ouch babe. You're supposed to side with me here, I'm your boyfriend after all." 

"Well, I would've sided with you if you hadn't bailed on me when we were supposed to watch the movies together the other night. If you'd been there then I would've been able to contribute to this conversation and agree with who I genuinely thought was right, which at this moment, I believe, is Ned." 

Ned grinned at you from across the table and you two high-fived while Peter just pouted some more, "I'm sorry sweetheart, I really am but y'know I had the internship."

You rolled your eyes, "Of course, I know that. At this point the surprising thing is whenever you don't have that internship," you looked at Ned, "Dude, do you know how many dates and hangouts he's canceled on me? I feel like I should be able to sue at this point. Can you sue someone for wasting your time?"

Ned winced, "Pete, I love you man, but you need to start actually acting like her boyfriend otherwise you won't be her boyfriend for much longer."

Peter's eyes widened a bit but then his face quickly turned nonchalant, "It was just a few slip-ups, don't worry about it," he threw an arm around you and pulled you in, kissing the top of your head, "but you're right, we should talk about something we'd all enjoy."

Laughing, you said, "I told you guys, I enjoy hearing you debate because Ned is always-"

Peter threw a hand up, "Don't finish that sentence. I've had enough of you two fraternizing against me for the day."

You and Ned laughed some more, "Well honestly, you two can continue your...," you waved your hands, " 'old-couple-bickering' and I can scooch down a little and go hang out with M.J.."

Peter pulled you in closer at that, "No don't leave," he muttered in your hair. 

"Yeah," Ned started, "let's talk about something else like," he trailed off, "OH, you're managing the school play next week, right? That's gotta be interesting, tell us about that."

"It's really nothing 'Manager' is really just a fun name they stuck on me. Mrs. Lightbody does most of the work."

"Oh come on," Peter said, "when you first got the part, it was all you wanted to talk about. What happened?"

you happened, you thought. It's true, you had been too excited that you'd been chosen to be in charge of everything and you couldn't wait to rant to your boyfriend about just that. That was until he basically ignored you and shook it off as nothing, running away for the stark internship. You hadn't really wanted to talk about it with anybody after that. Maybe it wasn't as cool as you'd thought it was. 

You looked down and just shrugged, "Dunno, guess I just didn't think you guys would be interested in it. You've never really shown interest in theater before."

"Well, that was before my gorgeous girlfriend was in charge. Now, go on, tell us what it's like to get a bunch of theater kids on track."

You laughed, "God it's torture. I'm convinced it's some personalized hell made for someone's eternal punishment and I do not envy them."

Peter and Ned laughed along with you, Peter saying, "Yeah I bet. We all know how much you love your control."

You gasped, eyebrows furrowing, "Peter Parker are you saying I'm a control freak?"

He held up both of his hands in surrender, "No of course not babe," he traded a glance with Ned when you weren't looking. 

"Anyway," he propped an elbow on the table, rested his head on his palm, and made a motion with his other hand, "continue."

You looked at Ned, "Are you sure I'm not boring you," you asked, shoving your hand in Peter's face when he went to argue.

"Of course not Y/N! Wild, out-of-control theater kids is a favorite subject of mine," he grinned and you huffed a laugh. 

"Fine, it's not as easy as I thought'd it be I'll say that. There's always someone way out of line, either singing songs from musicals at the top of their lungs or fighting someone else with the props. One time a kid started climbing the curtain bags and it was disastrous."

You told them all the funny stories you had from the past rehearsals and how you couldn't wait for the upcoming ones. 

"Hey these sound fun how come I haven't been to one yet," Peter asked, referring to the rehearsals. 

You scoffed, "Please Parker, you can barely make it to a date. There's no way you're gonna make it to one of these."

Peter felt a wave of guilt rush over him. He'd been leaving you hanging a lot lately. 

"I'm sorry Y/N/N, really I am. But I want to come to one of these. I want to see you doing your thing. In fact, when's the next one I'll be there," he sounded so sure of himself but you weren't. 

"Um," you hesitated, not really sure if you should answer him, "They're every other day after school until opening night. But Peter, honestly, you don't have to come I know how busy your schedule is and you barely fit in things that you need to do, I seriously doubt you have the time to voluntarily do this," you told him, refusing to get your hopes up. 

"Hey," he leaned closer to you, "I know I haven't been the best boyfriend lately but I promise I'm going to be there for you today."

"Peter," you said quietly not being able to meet his eyes and that alone made his heartbreak, "Don't make promises you can't keep. That never ends well."

"Hey if I said I'll be there, then I'll be there. come on, gotta have a little more faith in me than that sweetheart," he smiled a little, letting it grow into a grin when he saw your lips tugging up at the corners of your mouth. 

"Promise," you asked. 

"Promise," he confirmed, leaning in for a sweet kiss. Maybe he could really be there for you this time instead of-

Something hit the side of your face making you both turn your heads towards your other friend. You looked down to find a bunch of rolled-up napkins lying on the floor. 

"Well as glad as I am that y'all got that settled, let us remember that this is a public space," Ned said making you both laugh. 

"So it's settled, meet you in the auditorium after last period right," Peter asked you, trying to make sure he had the times correct. 

"Oh," you replied, a little shocked that he was actually doing this, "Yeah, if you're showing up then I guess so."

peter laughed, "Y/N come on, what did we just have an entire conversation about? Of course, I'm showing up."

You nodded slowly then looked towards Ned, "I didn't hit my head anywhere just a minute ago, did I?" 

Ned just shrugged, "I'm just as surprised as you are Y/N. Peter needs to step up his game and I'm sure the internship can wait an evening. After all," he gave Peter a hard look before an amused expression took over his face, "After all, what is an internship if not just running around making copies of random things and memorizing dozens of different coffee orders."

"Hey man come on, we've been over this." he nodded his head towards you and widened his eyes slightly, but you didn't notice, too busy taking a sip from your chocolate milk, "This isn't just any internship. I have to be available at every moment in case Mr. Stark decides he needs me on something."

"Mhm, whatever," Ned took a bite of his sandwich, "All I'm saying is that no matter how important it is, you need to learn to divide up your time evenly."

"Don't worry Ned, I'll be sure to sign him up for some time management classes," you said seriously, making Ned choke on his food from laughter. 

Peter sighed, one arm still resting on the table, the palm of it holding his head. his other arm tucked away under the table, hand holding yours. 

you were feeling amazing, your mood completely lifted now. Peter was finally making the first step to fix things after your many failed attempts. Things could start going back to how they were at the beginning of your relationship. sweet, caring, and mutual. 

You were so sick of feeling like this whole thing was one-sided but now things finally looked like they were turning up. 

Little did you know. 

When the day finally ended you couldn't wait. Spending time with Peter while hanging out with your new friends (somewhat, you weren't really sure but you were optimistic) seemed like it be such a good time. Almost too good to be true. 

You rushed towards your locker and gathered your stuff before shooting Peter a text that you'll just meet him in the auditorium. 

You arrived there before anyone else, which was typical, everyone would be wandering the halls with their friends for a while before making their way here. The cast and crew might mess around a bit but in the end, they were extremely passionate about what they did and you knew that in the end, the show would be amazing. They were all incredibly talented. 

little by little everyone started filing in in little groups. You searched them all for Peter but he was never a part of them. Oh well, he was probably caught up with Ned and MJ at the moment. He'll be here in a bit. 

When the majority of people were present you, reluctantly, decided you had to get things started whether Peter was here yet or not. Everyone had to start getting to work and he should be here any minute now. 

"Ok everyone, you've been wandering around long enough. Time to get started," you clapped your hands together, a clipboard held under your arm, "Noah, Jack, and Lacy we've got to start making progress on the set and I don't want paint everywhere we've had one paint fight too many," you narrowed your eyes at Noah and Jack who looked down sheepishly. It had been a mess. It'd looked as if a pride parade had thrown up all over the stage. 

"This background is our last chance and if you mess it up again we'll probably have to cancel and if that happens, I will not hesitate to unleash Lexi on you," you gestured towards the girl who glared at them and you could've sworn you saw them pale which made smile a small smile. 

You pulled out your clipboard to skim through and see what was on the agenda. "Where's our light-man," you asked and looked up. Everyone shrugged looking around until a girl, Martha, spoke, "Lenny had a teacher meeting, he's running a bit late but he'll be here."

You nodded, "Martha that reminds me, how's your mom doing with the costumes? does she have everything she needs?" 

Martha nodded quickly, "Measurements and everything. All of them should be ready a few days before the big day and she'll be here that night for any mending that might be needed." She shot you two big thumbs up. 

"Good, good, good," you muttered under your breath. You looked around at everyone and shrugged lightly, "OK so I guess everyone just rehearse your lines, get to work and we should be good for the next couple of hours."

Chatter quickly spread across the large room as everyone got together working and talking. You sat down on a seat and let out a long sigh. You tugged your phone out of your pocket and looked for a new message from Peter. There was nothing. You sent two more and added a call for good measure. He didn't pick up, it just rang all the way through. Maybe he got caught up with a teacher. Or maybe he got detention and didn't get a chance to tell you. 

You had more important things to get to and Peter would get here whenever he got the chance. He'd promised after all. So you shouldn't worry about it too much. 

You started making rounds around all the groups of working teenagers, stopping when you saw Lexi waving you over to her little group which mostly consisted of the main cast. 

You walked over to them, "And how's everything going over here? Any trouble?" They all shook their heads. 

"Actually, I think we're getting along rather well, it's a great cast you've rounded up here miss Y/L/N," Mrs. Lightbody said, making you feel extremely proud. 

"I actually wanted to talk to you," Lexi said kindly. 

"Oh? What's up, Lex." She grabbed your hand and led you a little farther away from the group, turning and shooting them a quick reassuring smile. 

Lexi was the star of the whole play, playing the main character, so you'd worked with her closely these past few weeks. She helped you with even the slightest things so you wouldn't get too stressed or anxious (she claimed you were the only sane person in the whole group and it needed to stay that way). She was undoubtedly the most excited person about the whole play and you couldn't blame her, you could already tell from just practice that she was going to do amazing. She was on the popular side where school cliques were involved, but she was always such a sweetheart. She quickly became a great friend of yours and you hoped it stayed that way even after the play and all these fun little get-togethers were over. 

"Hey, Y/N I noticed you seemed a little off before. I'm sorry if I'm out of line saying this but I just wanted to check in on you and make sure everything was okay. Anything going on? I'm always here to listen if you need to talk," she smiled one of her heartwarming smiles. 

You were a little shocked that she'd noticed, "Thanks Lex, really, but I'm fine I promise. but thank you so much for looking out for me."

she had a look on her face like she didn't believe you but she didn't push it, which you appreciated, "ok well if you decide you want to talk about I'm always around I promise," she grabbed you into a hug which you gladly accepted. she pulled away and squeezed your shoulder before heading back to the group. 

You loved her but really there was nothing wrong. Because Peter was gonna show up. Even if he hadn't answered you yet. He's gonna show up, follow you like a lost puppy, and marvel at your every move in that way of his to the point where it got annoying, and you were gonna make him swear to never come to one of these again. To which he would pout and give you puppy-dog eyes and you'd both forget whatever it was you'd said. 

He had to come. otherwise, you might seriously start considering Ned's words from earlier. or you won't be her boyfriend for much longer. 

Peter had to show up because maybe your whole relationship was on the line. 

An hour of a bunch of nonsense arguing passed until you finally heard the press of the large auditorium doors opening up. 

Your heart flew when you saw the large mess of brunette curls turned to close the doors. however, your hope quickly deflated as soon as the figure turned around. it was just Lenny the light-man. 

"Lenny, great. I need you to start working on the lights and getting them ready," you told him. He nodded and quickly made his way backstage. 

You were totally bummed. peter hadn't even replied to you so you had no clue what was going on. you'd even gone so far as to text Ned who'd just sent you a shrugging emoji and an apology for not knowing where he was. 

You felt a little broken, with each passing minute, your hope that your boyfriend might still show up dying down. 

You were desperate so you walked down to the side of the stage where Lexi was chatting with her 'co-star' Brad Davis, who played her love interest. 

You walked up to them, your hand lightly grabbing Lexi's shoulder which brought her attention to you, "Can I talk to you," you whispered. She nodded quickly. You looked towards Brad whose attention was already on you, "Is it alright if I just steal her for a moment," you sent him a fake smile. He smiled back, "No don't worry about it, she's all yours."

He looked like he was might say something else but you didn't give him the chance to before dragging your friend away from all the commotion, "I'm ready to talk now."

She looked at you knowingly before sitting down and patting the spot next to her. So you sat and you told her everything. You told her about all the missed dates, how sometimes he'd just ignore you completely making it impossible to reach him and come back and act like nothing happened, how it always seemed like he was hiding something, and how you were so tired. 

And she listened, of course, never making you feel like you were being overdramatic, and making you feel something that Peter always failed to. Seen. 

When you finally finished Lexi looked at you with total sympathy-eyes, you hated it but you sucked it up because you had chosen to talk to her. 

"Permission to speak freely?" she asked hesitantly. You nodded quickly, "Yes of course, please do that's why I came to you in the first place." 

"Dump his ass," she deadpanned. Your eyes widened in shock as you looked at her. "Really?" you asked. She nodded, "Y/N, I love you but it's obvious that this boy doesn't. Because if he did there's no way he'd test you like that, I mean, he's standing you up right now when he promised he'd be here. I say end it before it gets worse. But hey," she held up both hands, "If you think I'm out of line saying that I totally understand but I'm just telling you what I'd do if I was in your shoes."

"You think I should dump him," you mumbled looking down, not really believing it. You'd thought about it sure, what would happen if you two weren't together anymore but you'd never considered it an option, let alone a solution. 

"Thanks, Lex, I'll think about it," you gave her a tight smile and she smiled back. "I just hope you do whatever feels best for you Y/N, you've been looking down lately and you don't deserve that." She gave your hand a squeeze and one last smile before she went back to practice. 

You weren't seriously thinking about ending things with Peter, you were too scared to lose him. Your friendship was more important than any relationship ever could be. But the longer he went as a no-show the more it ran through your brain for the rest of rehearsal. Peter never texted or called. You were desperate for a simple "sorry" at this point, not wanting to have to settle for the worst option. But as time went on, the less it seemed like an option and more like a task. Something you had to do, that had to be done—something new to check off your clipboard. 

Rehearsal ended and people left in groups as they had come. You lingered, smiling and saying you had just a few things to check up on before you left whenever someone took regard for your incessant hovering. Soon enough you were the only person in the big empty room. 

You sat at the edge of the stage, legs dangling, and pulled out your phone from your pocket. You sent one last text, we need to talk. 

After about ten minutes of waiting there, you decided it was getting late and you had to get home before it was too dark. maybe you could convince your parents to let you head over to Peter's after dinner and you could get over with it then. your mind was made up. you were gonna break up with him. 

You gathered your things and made your way up to the big double doors. The hallways were quiet and you were hyperaware of every step of yours. It was weird to see the school so dead, a big contrast to the usual packed hallways. The more you thought about it the more it was like you could almost hear the running footsteps of students. No scratch that, student. Okay at this point it started sounding too real.

You turned around to catch your boyfriend speeding down the hallway, skidding to a stop when you saw you. 

"Oh my god Y/N, I'm so sorry I totally lost track of time. I was just helping May out with a few things and next thing I know-" 

You held up a hand to stop him, "Save it Peter I really don't care." 

His face fell, "But, hey, let me make it up to you! Let's go get some ice cream or something. You can tell me what rehearsal was like today and I'll walk you home after. It's getting dark."

You crossed your arms. you almost wanted to agree but you knew better than that, this whole thing was getting way too much for you to handle. 

"Peter I'm done," you told him simply. he looked at you a little confused, "done...done with what?"

"This," you almost screamed as you pointed at the two of you, "I'm done with this, this whole act because, let's face it, we both know you weren't helping May with shit." you were surprised you had gotten this far without crying and you wanted to keep it that way so you sucked in a breath and tried to steady your heartbeat. 

The guilty look in his eyes told you enough. you were right. he moved the slightest step closer but you moved back, you really didn't feel like touching him at the moment. "come on sweetheart," he said weakly, "there's gotta be something I can do. I promise I'll show up on time more, you'll never have to wait for me again. I'll be around you so much you'll get sick of me. just please don't do this."

"That's the thing, Peter," you groaned, "I don't want to be sick of you but I'm sick of the way you keep treating me. you make me feel like shit Peter. you're my boyfriend and you make me feel terrible. and I keep trying to help you out, coming up with different excuses each time but I've finally run out. I want a stable relationship and you can't give me that so I'm done." 

His eyes were red now and you had to push back the guilt you were feeling, he brought this upon himself. it's true, you wouldn't have done this unless it was absolutely necessary. you loved him but you just couldn't handle it anymore. 

"I can," his voice broke slightly on that last word, "I can give you that y/n just give me another chance to show you." 

You huffed, "Well Peter, part of a stable relationship is honesty. can you be honest and tell me where you were today? 'Cause it's been established that you weren't with May."

He froze a little and you continued, "In fact, why don't you tell me where you were when you missed all those dates, all those couple hangouts, and all those group hangouts? When you missed my parents' anniversary dinner that they invited you to, or my little brother's birthday party that he was really excited you'd be there for. Go ahead Pete," you flung out your arms, "tell me where you were and I'll believe you can give me a stable relationship."

He looked physically conflicted, as if he was genuinely having an inner battle with himself, "I- I can't y/n/n, but you have to believe me when I say it's for the best."

"And I can't Peter. I can't so just forget this," you cleared your throat, "Come back when you can actually handle a relationship Parker, or you know what, don't because either way, I'm through with this."

You turned to walk away. his hand reached out to grab your wrist but you dodged it and held your hand up, "I don't think we should talk anymore," you kept walking and he didn't follow. You didn't want him to. But in all honesty, it was hard to turn your back when the person you were leaving was always the one you ran to when your heart shattered as it did right then. 

the cold air hit you hard and the tears finally came, slightly smudging the concealer under your eyes but you couldn't care less at the moment. 

It was true what he'd said, it was dark already and windy so you tried to be alert on your way home, deciding you could process all your emotions when you're home safe. 

You were walking for a bit, wiping your tears and trying to keep your vision clear when you heard a slight thud next to you and footsteps matching up to catch yours. "Hello Miss, it's pretty dark, can I walk you home?"

part 2 is here !!

[neoarchipelago]

And they were roommates (Part 10)

A/N : God... part 10 already! i am so so scared to post this chapter i'm torn to be in between this is good and this is trash so... be merciful!

Warnings: VIOLENCE! BLOOD! GRAPHIC !

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

The realization kept spinning in your brain. He was darkends. He had been so close to you from the beginning. Fuck he knew you before you started working on the damn mission! 

"I… Don't understand… you moved in before I started working on this…" you questioned. 

He sent you a look in the rear view mirror. 

"Correct. The mission had started before they asked you to join. I was supposed to simply make sure they were failing. Infiltrating the base, keeping undercover, ruining your search and probably send you on a wrong path." He explained. 

You watched through the car window, trying to figure out where he was taking you. 

While you started thinking about some way to escape, your mind quickly stopped on your connected watch. 

"But then I met you. Such a pretty girl." 

The praise made you nauseous. He watched the road as you started preparing your move on your watch. 

"You started working on the mission and fuck" he chuckled. "You became even more interesting!" He cheered. 

You kept clicking on your watch, sending your location to your contacts. All of them because you weren't exactly paying attention. 

While you were working on your laptop in the hideout, while you kept passing over and over the events that almost got you killed, you had decided to prepare a little safety net. You hacked your connected watch, creating a locking system that would send your live location to contacts of choice. You thanked your past self. 

"You were so bright, so smart, you managed to fully counter my attacks or find every little thing I tried to hide. Your mind… fascinated me." He kept obsessing. 

You could have been flattered if this wasn't said by a psychopath stalker trying to kidnap you. You were loosening the strap of your watch taking it off. You let it fall on the floor making sure to hide the small watch in your pocket. 

"So you decided to try to kill me ?! That makes no fucking sense Peter! If that's even your real name!" You raged. Fuck your throat right now. 

"Oh it is. It's not Hansen though. I didn't try to kill you. You were so sad when I met you… remember?" He spoke in an angrier tone. 

You were trying to figure something out, some way to escape even if you had to jump out of the car. 

"Because of that dickhead." 

"Don't call him that!" You yelled. 

"Shut up!" He roared. 

You were taken aback. It was the first time he actually yelled at you.

"That fucking asshole left you broken. And then he comes back and you let yourself be manipulated by him! You were meant to be fucking MINE." 

You felt your skin crawl. He was turning completely mad. And you were feeling the panic grow. 

"You and me…. Can you think about it? How we'd be the most powerful couple ever? We'd be Bonnie and Clyde…" 

"They fucking died…" you noted. 

"Such a smart mouth. You're lucky I also like that about you." He threatened. 

You bit your lip. Now wasn't the moment to be a smart ass. 

"So yeah. I got jealous. I thought maybe I could make you realize he wouldn't keep you safe. And then I'd propose to be your bodyguard and you know, make you fall for me… make you realize how good we'd be together." He kept explaining. 

You were finally understanding where he was headed. To one of the bases exit. He was trying to take you out of the base. 

"You won't be able to take me far. Even if you leave the base." You said. 

"Don't worry. I have friends waiting for us." He smirked. 

You swallowed hard. 

"What are you going to do with me…" that scary question was the only thing in your mind now. 

"That'll depend on you." 

The way he said it scared you horribly. It was terrifying. 

The tension was broken by your phone ringing. Price was calling you. 

"Go on birdie. Answer. Put it on speakerphone and give. It."

You obeyed, although unwillingly. 

"Sparrow, where are you?!" 

He sent a look in the rearview mirror for you to answer. 

"I'm in the car with Hansen." 

"Are you alright?! We found Soap." 

"Is he alright?!" You worried immediately. 

"He's ok. He said Hansen injected him with something." 

"What?! What the fuck did you do! You said you didn't hurt him!" You yelled, making Price aware of the listener. 

"I didn't. I simply tranquilized him. He took a nap." He laughed. 

"Hansen. What's going on?!" Laswell roared. 

"I'm simply taking what belongs to me." He spoke matter of factly. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"My birdie." 

Silence fell on the call. You knew she had understood. She knew the truth. 

"You won't be able to leave this base, I can assure you that." She said. 

"Ah don't worry. I'll manage. Where's the other disguised idiot? Hand him over. I want to speak to him." 

You closed your eyes. No. This was going to be horrible. You were absolutely shocked to hear Price laugh. You opened your eyes wide, a look of confusion on your face. 

"He's already gone. He got in his Jeep and is hunting you down." 

You saw Peter visibly pale. 

"He doesn't even know who you really are. You hurt his friend. You stole his bunny. You're already fucking dead." 

Peter grabbed the phone in a fury, opening his window and throwing it out. You gasped out loud. 

"Hey!" You scolded. 

"Don't try me!" He threatened again. 

You were getting dangerously close to the exit. You couldn't let him bring you out of base. You couldn't.  The idea of jumping out of the car finally settled in your mind when a glimpse of a vehicle to the left made your head turn. You had very little time to process what was happening when the impact made your seatbelt block. A military car had driven right into the car you were in at full speed, aiming for the driver's seat. 

Both cars were now at a stop, your head ringing. You were hyperventilating, now watching Gaz and Konig stepping out of the car and aiming their guns at Peter. He immediately made the car roar, trying to drive away when a second impact made you shake again. You yelled this time. Peter's car was stuck in between two big ones. You had to get out now, you had to make a run for it. 

Your blood ran cold when you saw Peter reach for his own gun. No nononoo.. FUCK. 

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR!" Soap's voice roared. 

Soap… fuck. They were here. They were here. 

You pushed the seatbelt, finally freeing yourself and opening the car door. 

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE BITCH!" Peter Screamed. 

Konig appeared in a flash, grabbing Peter's shirt through the window, taking his attention from you. In another flash a black shadow passed over the hood of the car pushing Konig away and throwing the driver's side door open. 

"Simon!" You let out in between a yelp and a whine. 

He wasn't listening. He had a knife in his hand. He cut through the seatbelt like butter. He grabbed Peter's gun, throwing it somewhere on the ground. He very roughly pulled Peter out. 

You were frozen in place. Your mind was trying to process what was happening. Everything was happening so fast… Your car door opened, making you jump. 

"Y/N!" 

You cried. You let out a broken exhale and you cried. 

"Johnny…" 

"You're ok! You're ok! We're here!" He smiled, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you out. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck. He was ok. He was fine. God, you felt so guilty. He got hurt because of you. If he had been killed-

"I'm ok! I'm ok… breathe. We need to get you out of here!" He soothed. 

"It's darkends!" You let out loud in between cries. 

He froze. He immediately turned to the rest of the team, catching Gaz's eyes as he wasn't too far. 

"HE'S THE HACKER!" Gaz repeated in a yell.

You looked at Ghost who had Peter pinned against the car, arms behind his back. As soon as it clicked in his brain, he threw Peter to the ground and jumped on him. Your eyes widened. 

You pushed by Soap, surprising him enough to give you a chance to run around the car to keep the fighting men into view. 

"Y/N NO!" You heard him reprimand.

You froze at the sight, Ghost was on top of Peter repeatedly punching him in the face, blood coating his hand. 

Soap caught you as Ghost reached for his firearm, pointing it at Peter's head. It took a second. No hesitation.

"DON'T LOO-" 

The gunshot made you jump. Soap's voice lost in the sound. Your ears ringing. 

It's funny how your brain fixates on the little things during shocking moments. For you it was the little splashes of blood on his mask. You could see them as Simon noticed you, wide eyed. 

That's all you could take in before Soap made you forcefully turn around. 

"BLOODY HELL Y/N" he screamed worriedly.

You tried to catch your breath. More cars came rushing. You could hear Price and Laswell's voices. It was over. He was gone. Darkends… Peter. He was dead. Your were safe. You were shocked. And what terrified you wasn't the fact that Simon just executed him in front of you. He clearly didn't mean to show you such a horrible thing. You knew it. He had tried to shield you from the sight by pushing Peter to the ground. No. What terrified you was how grateful you were that he did it. That he killed him. 

The thought was horrible. But Peter was dead. And you were glad he was. Because that man, who helped human traffickers, drug dealers and other horrible people, had used people to get to you, had tried to kill you and kidnapped you. 

"Hey hey hey!" 

You blinked, finally falling back into reality. Kate was looking at you, features torn in worry. Her hands on your cheeks. You took a deep breath. 

"Are you alright?!" 

You nodded. 

"I… I'm fine. It's… over" you stumbled over your words. 

She held you, her arms now wrapping around your shoulders. Price was behind her, talking to Soap. You could clearly understand Soap explaining how you had witnessed Ghost kill Peter. The shock in Ghost's eyes flashed in your mind. No! Fuck! 

You couldn't be sure but he was probably feeling horrible having done that in front of you. He probably thought you hated him, that you thought horribly of him. 

You pushed Kate off of you. 

"Simon…" you called. 

"Y/N-" she tried.

"I want Simon!" Your voice broke as another cry escaped your lips. 

You needed him. You fucking needed him. You wanted him to hold you. And never fucking let you go. You felt vulnerable. The whole situation, the whole fallback of emotions made you want to be wrapped into his arms.

"Y/N." Price approached. "Not now. You need to leave this place." 

You were going to interrupt him. But he kept trying to reason you. 

"He needs to calm down-" 

"No!" You screamed, you've never heard this desperation in your voice before.

Soap looked divided. But as he looked at you, the way you were begging him through your gaze, he made up his mind. 

"LT!" He called. 

Price and Laswell turned to him furious. 

Your breath quickened. You weren't leaving without him. Fuck. You'd leave with him.

Price turned back to face you this time looking behind you. 

"Simon-" he started. 

But too late you had already turned around. Fucking hell. He looked absolutely nightmarish. His full black tactical clothes, his skull mask bloodied. His black hood casting a shadow on it. Even like that you could see pupils blown out. 

You must be insane. You must have gone completely mad. Because all you could see was his eyes. All you could notice was how hard he was breathing, how his shoulders were incredibly tense. 

Yes. Everyone must have thought you had gone completely insane. Because you ran to him, wrapping your arms around his waist burying your face in his chest. It took him a second before wrapping his arms around you. 

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… fuck… I'm sorry…" he chanted repeatedly. 

He held you tightly. You could hear Laswell and Price barking orders. But you blocked it out. You needed this. You needed to be in his arms. He saved you again. He rushed to come to you. 

"I'm sorry…" he let out again. 

"Simon" 

He stopped, looking at you directly, awaiting orders. As if your every word was a command. 

"Take me away…Please... Take me out of here…" You asked. 

He didn't hesitate. He held your hand, pulling you with him towards Price. 

"Price!" He roared, capturing the man's attention. "I'm taking her out of here!" 

He nodded, throwing him his keys. 

"Take her to the hideout!" Price ordered. 

You would have preferred to go home but your home had been trashed… it wasn't the best idea.

He held your hand as he pulled you to the passenger seat, making sure to block your view of the mess behind him. 

"Close your eyes…" he ordered softly. 

"But-"

"Please. Fuck. Bunny, please." He pleaded. 

So you did. You closed your eyes. You heard the car door open. You trusted him as led you in, sitting you and buckling you up. You kept your eyes closed as he closed the door and until his opened. Even then and until you were rolling away, you kept them closed. 

"You can open them now…" he softly let out. 

You batted your eyes, adjusting back to the light. You turned to him. His grip on the steering wheel was rough. 

"Simon…" you called. 

He flinched but didn't look at you. He was clearly speeding. Very clearly. 

"Simon!" You whined. 

"We're almost there. Please." 

You took a deep breath, Falling silent. 

"You did good…" 

You almost thought you imagined it. 

"I.. did?" You asked. 

"Yes. You did so good. Sending me your location. Being brave. You did good." 

The praise was oddly comforting. 

You had managed to arrive at the hideout in a crazy time frame. You both walked out. You were slightly calmer even if your heart still played drums in your chest. You walked to the front door, two soldiers standing in front of it. You walked in, Ghost behind you. The door closed, leaving you both finally alone to face the inevitable. 

After several seconds he spoke. 

"I'll tell the men to keep guard. Laswell should be joining you soon." 

You looked, appalled, as he turned to leave. 

"You're leaving?" 

For the second time, you didn't recognize the heartbroken tone in your own voice. He was running away. He didn't want to face you.

He looked at you immediately, worry in his eyes. 

"You… Want me to stay?" He asked in dismay. 

"Yes.. please… you're the only one I want to stay with…" you admitted. 

He looked completely lost. You wanted to make him understand how badly he mattered to you. That you found a peace in his violence that was insane. Unreal.

"I. Just executed someone, in front of you." He started, fully turning to you. "I will never fucking forgive myself for it" 

"You don't have to! I ran to you! You tried to hide it!" You knew where this was going. You could feel it. 

"You should have been taken away right away! I should have ordered Soap to do it! You didn't deserve it- " 

"I RAN TO YOU! " You cried out. Your poor throat reminding you that it was a terrible idea. 

You were both out of breath. He was slipping away from you… he was slipping through your fingers every second that passed he was pulling himself away from your embrace. He was trying to break everything, trying to save you from himself. He didn't seem to understand that you needed to drown in him.

"Don't…" you desperately asked. 

"Don't what…" he asked in a hopeless tone. 

"Don't do that to me… Simon please…" you wanted to cry. You wanted him to feel how helpless you were feeling. How much you loved him. How much you needed him. 

"Don't walk away from me…" your tear stained face begged. 

He closed his eyes. 

"I'm a fucking monster." 

"No. You're Simon!" You stepped closer to him as he opened his eyes. 

"You're lieutenant Simon Ghost Riley!!" You captured his clothed face in your hands. 

"You're my Simon ghost Riley…" you whispered. "Please… tell me you're not giving up on me… please… tell me I'm yours too…" 

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you incredibly close. 

"Are you not scared of me?" He asked in a breath. 

"No…" you answered. 

"Don't you hate me? Despise me?" 

"Never.." 

"You're fucking crazy." He concluded. 

You giggled bittersweetly. 

"You make me crazy…" 

"I am a monster." 

"Simon-" 

"I am. You should find better. You would be happier…" 

"I want my monster. I want all of him, I only feel safe and important with him…" 

He choked on a breath. 

"You wanted an answer." He started. 

You frowned a bit in confusion. 

"You wanted me to make up my mind. To tell you." He explained. 

You finally understood. Yes. You had asked him. You held your breath. 

"I want you in my life. Fuck you're all I want in my life. Tell me you want to be mine… I swear I'll never fucking leave you… I'll be as loyal as a dog, I swear I'll do everything to make you happy." He pleaded in a dark tone that contrasted heavily with the vow he was preaching. 

"Simon." You called making him look at you in the eyes. "I'm already yours." 

His hand left your waist to lift his mask up to his nose. Your breath hitched, time slowing when his lips fell on yours. You felt dizzy. His lips against yours in a desperate kiss to ground you both to each other. His soft tongue pleading access to more, that you willingly admitted, your own craving of more, of him, burning through you. The world disappeared. You had read this many times in books. You had never thought you would ever get to a point where you finally understood it. 

He groaned against you, you wrapped your hands around his neck. He lifted you up, sitting you on the table. You spread your legs, trapping him in between and pulling him closer. You were addicted. Absolutely lost. He kissed you like you were the only reason he'd ever inhale and exhale again. Desperately. His taste on your tongue was something you wanted to imprint in your mind forever.

You almost pitied the fact that you had to breathe when you separated to catch your breaths. He remained there. His forehead touching yours. You remained eyes closed. 

The atmosphere had entirely changed. It was as if you weren't being kidnapped thirty minutes ago. 

"Simon… don't leave…" you begged in a murmur. 

"Never." 

The night had fallen very quickly. Laswell had indeed passed by. She was relieved you were fine. She also fully understood that you needed time and decided to leave you two alone for a few days. The day had been terribly long. Horribly. You and Simon didn't let go of each other for hours, even dining with you sitting on his lap. Poor man hadn't even changed when it was finally time to go to bed. 

"Hey… bunny…" he called softly. 

You shook your head, knowing what he wanted to say. 

"Bunny come on… I need to change… you're gonna get dirty." 

"Don't care…" 

He chuckled. He sounded relieved. 

"Y/N, I promise .. I hop in the shower and I come to bed with you if you want. It'll take five minutes, I swear." He tried to convince you. 

You didn't want to let him go. But you understood he probably wanted to wash away all reminders of what happened. You nodded against his neck. He walked to the bed and softly dropped you. He grabbed Reaper from the ground. 

"Here doll, your plushie."

"Reaper…" you corrected him. 

He chuckled. Taking out his gloves, he let one of his thumbs run over your cheeks, brushing your hair away.

"I'll be right back." 

He was already ripping off his tactical gear as he walked out. You had time to catch a glimpse of his back, various bruises and scars, more or less recent painted it. It made you want to follow him and kiss every single one of them. Maybe it was too much… everything that was happening was confusing but fuck at the moment you couldn't care less. 

He had kept his promise, around 5 minutes after, he was back in the room, a towel around his midsection. 

Your breath caught in your throat. 

You sat in the bed. He was wearing a new balaclava. 

"Simon…" you called. 

You watched the bruises and cuts on his chest with a worried look. He stepped closer to you, grabbing your chin in one hand softly. 

"Hey. Eyes up." 

You obeyed.

"It's nothing. It's just a scratch. Alright?" 

You whined. 

"Shu-huhu…" he soothed. 

Fuck… your mind was a fucking blurr. You weren't drunk this time. But the adoration, the heart eyes were back. 

"It's nothing, little one…" 

You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch. 

"Fuck…" he cursed under his breath.

You opened them back slowly. 

"Turn around love, let me just grab some pants." 

You blushed, nodding. You turned around facing the wall. You heard him open his bag that he had brought into your room earlier. A few seconds later you felt the bed dent. You glanced back as he slipped under the covers with you. His arms immediately wrapped around you, pulling you to his chest. 

You both sighed at the same time. 

"Simon…" you called. 

"Yes bunny…" 

"Thank you for coming to save me…" you let out in a whisper.

"Darling… I will always come for you." He whispered in your ear. 

"I'm so glad it's over" 

"I'm glad too…" 

You smiled. 

"Let's sleep, little bunny… It's late." 

You whined a bit. 

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. " 

You closed your eyes at that. The warmth and the comfort of his arms and body pulled you  to sleep. 

The two next days felt out of reality. Laswell didn't contact you and the rest of the squad didn't pass by. It was only the two of you. And you couldn't let go of each other. Especially Simon. You didn't fully understand what was happening. You honestly didn't care. A silent agreement stood between you two that nothing mattered. No questions on the relation, no questions on behavior, nothing. 

You just basked in each other's presence. 

That night, you tried to get up to go to the bathroom. After close negotiations he had unwrapped his arms from you. You went to the bathroom, glanced at his dirty gear on the ground, and tried to put it in the washing machine. Tried. Because he had already crawled out of bed to find you.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm just putting this in the washer for-" 

"Forget about that…" 

He picked you up bridal style. 

"S-simon…" you blushed. 

"Fuck that. Come back to bed." 

And you did. Not getting out of bed before 11 am the next day. 

You had shared brunch. He stood behind you, hands over your stomach and face in your neck while you washed the dishes in his shirt. Then he pulled you to him making you follow him on the couch where you both laid down, a blanket over you, some tv show on screen. 

When you went back to bed that night, you made the mistake of stepping inside your bedroom without him. 

"Where are you going?" He asked. 

"Oh.. hum… I thought you might want to rest without having me annoying you…" 

He had stepped closer to you, incredibly close. 

"One more night… please…" he whispered. 

"Anything…" you whispered back, gladly pulling him after you. 

It calmed down for a bit the next day. You were able to walk around the house without having Simon attached to you or running to pick you up to immobilize you against him. Though none of this bothered you, you tried to focus a bit on what happened. You also tried to buy a new phone. Even like that, he made you sit on the couch in between his legs, with your laptop on your lap. 

He was watching TV, fingertips drawing circles on your naked thighs. You had first cursed yourself for wearing PJ shorts, and then had lost all track of your search for a new device, leaning back against him. 

On the third day, things seemed to fall back into your old ways. Playful, kind, sweet. Again a silent contract linked you both, as if the two last days were yours to keep. It was a moment needed for the both of you, after a painful time. You still put off a serious conversation about your new relationship to a later time. 

The boys were finally allowed to pass by. Soap and Gaz had immediately hugged you. 

"Little Sparrow!" Soap cheered. 

You hugged them back. 

Konig was also here and even though you didn't know him well, you couldn't stop yourself from hugging him. He saved you too. 

"Thank you konig." 

He had rubbed the back of his head, giggling. 

Price had held you in his arms for a little while before planting a kiss in your hair and stepping back. 

You all sat in the small living room space. Simon was still very possessive and made you sit in his lap on the ground, hands wrapped tightly around your waist. 

"Thank you everyone. For keeping me safe and saving me. And… I'm so sorry johnny…" 

"No no! Don't worry. I've gone through much worse. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I fucked up…" 

You shook your head. 

"No… we were all under pressure… no one suspected him." 

"I did." Interrupted Simon. 

You smiled. 

"Yeah… you did…" 

You could see the boys looking at each other, obviously a question on their mind. The burning question. Soap felt the bravest.

"Soo… what's this?" Soap asked changing subject and pointing repeatedly in between the both of you. 

You blushed heavily. Soap's grin growing. 

"She's my girlfriend." 

You were? Fuck. 

"Am I?" You asked, looking at him. "You never asked" You teased. 

"I asked you to be mine. You said you were. So, mine." He stated without a worry in the world. 

The boys laughed and you nestled closer to him. You spent the rest of the day hanging out together, finally at peace. 

In the next few days you met with Laswell. A few things had to be resolved. Your room needed a makeover. You wanted darkends's devices to gather information. 

"We'll keep his devices but you can't have them now. You need some time away from all of this." 

You had rolled your eyes but deep down you agreed. This had been a close call. Way too close. She had told you she would keep you informed about the apartment so for now you remained in the hideout with Simon. The boys passing by very often. 

You had been very happily shopping, the military giving you a huge amount of money as reparation for almost being killed in their care. You had bought new components for a brand new PC, a new phone, clothes and other things. One thing that you seemed to absolutely love doing was asking Simon's opinion on everything. 

"Simon, do you like this shirt?" 

"You'll look adorable in it." He kissed your forehead. 

You even used this new hobby to tease him. 

"What do you think of this skirt?" You smiled innocently. 

It had entirely backfired. 

"If you promise to wear no panties with it, it'll become my favorite piece of clothing." He growled.

You had blushed and thrown him a pillow. 

Some moments of serious talk had also been present. 

"You know I'm doing something dangerous… it could put you in danger… Are you sure you want to be with me?" He asked. 

"Simon I don't need to date you to be in danger. I'm the one who keeps getting attacked and almost killed, you're the one who should be having second thoughts!" 

The Best moments were the ones where He would steal kisses from you whenever he could. He'd stare at you from afar, making blush. He'd always stare into your eyes, asking for permission to kiss you. As if you needed to ever say it out loud to him.  Sometimes it would heat up very fast, but he would always stop. Much to both of your frustrations. 

But you did have this conversation. He had wanted to, and asked to take things slowly. He wanted you to be sure of things before heading to more. 

You had wanted to go spend some money at the shopping center, asking him to come with you. He had politely declined, offering to call Soap, Konig and Gaz to go with you. Shopping wasn't particularly his favorite thing to do. He sat on the couch, legs spread, a file in hand, looking down at you. The sight was particularly comical yet extremely exciting. You had dropped to your knees in between his to get his attention, he had immediately tensed. He looked at you like he wanted to devour you. You kept asking for him to come with you, he'd decline, his voice deepening more and more each time. 

"Y/N. Get up." He ordered. 

"Please… Simon come with me shopping…" you whined again, biting your lip. 

It was obvious. So obvious. But he played through, adoring the sight before him. 

It had been interrupted by Price and Soap walking in. You remained on the floor, now turning your head to Soap. 

"Soap! Ghost won't come with me…" 

"Try taking his pants off, it's easier to cu-" 

You had blushed heavily. Price tried his best not to laugh. You had never seen a man run so fast in his life. You had gotten up, after ghost had gotten up as well , walking out the door behind Soap. Price had finally laughed, you were heavily embarrassed but you had won, thanks to Soap. 

Today Simon was particularly quiet. He walked around, stealing kisses and touches every now and then. You were writing on your laptop, some things about darkends needed to be reported for the full file. Laswell had told you it wasn't urgent, but you wanted to finish it. You were also getting annoyed. The tiny place was starting to get on your nerves. You wanted to go back home. 

It was an antagonizing thought as you also were uncomfortable going back in that space. It felt different. Peter had been there. You had opened your door to him and he had broken in and trashed your stuff. You had talked about it with Simon, about your anxiousness. He had understood and tried to comfort you. 

So here you were, sitting in the small, now crowded space with everyone. Laswell, price and squad 141 including Konig. 

"Sparrow, ghost told me about your thoughts on your apartment." 

You sighed. Of course he did. You looked at him as he looked at you with a soft expression. 

"So we came up with something and I'd like to ask you if you'd be alright with it." 

You were now visibly curious. Price took the lead after Laswell. 

"Until we can find a new and better way to keep you safe, we thought about moving you closer to the base. Some place you'd feel safer." 

"What are you saying?" You asked. 

"There's a house in a residential area, very close to the base that's free. It's a family house so it's quite big." Laswell explained. 

"And we're all moving in with you guys!" Soap cheered, interrupting her, Gaz nodding. 

"It's temporary, it doesn't have to be permanent. It's an option, after everything that happened." Price added.

You looked at Ghost with a smile on your face, brows rising. 

"You accepted this?" You asked, a hint of a laugh in your voice. 

"It's safer if we're all there. I can't always be with you… and maybe you'll feel better in a new environment." He explained. 

You had mixed feelings. It sounded fun. But you'd have less privacy with Simon. You had started to accept them as a family. And after everything that happened it was perhaps best. 

"Alright… let's do that." 

[k2ntoss]

WISH YOU WERE HERE – PT. 2

tw ⭒ swearing, angst, couple argument, break up, stalking (NOT IN A CREEPY BAD KINDA WAY, OKAY??? DON'T DO THAT SHIT, IT'S WEIRD AND WRONG), mention of blood and injuries (reader gets into trouble but hey, it's okay), jason todd x fem!reader and okayyyyyy that's everything heh and just because i won't pay for your therapy there's fluff at the end (i'm crying so ugly i can't stand thinking about sad baby ): )

prompt from @unboundprompts "I know I'm not perfect, but we can work this out." !!!

a/n ⭒ once again song based fic, part two for dirty little secret with a bit more angst because i'm craving it. wish you were here by neck deep.

this one is for @millyhelp who requested part two :3

no word count, i'm lazy so deal with it. :3

one year thrown to waste or at leats, that's how it felt, because even if you tried to push one more month with jason it didn't worked out. you knew he tried hard to trust things could be fine but it simply didn't happened so one day you decided to show up on his place holding a box of the things he gave you.

a few books poking out of the box and also some of his clothes, the ones you used to wear to sleep because it allowed you to feel he was with you instead of wherever he was because you never knew it, your relationship was filled with secrets that didn't allowed the love you felt to breath until it suffocated.

"i can't do this anymore, jason" your words hit him as soon as jason opens the door of his place, eyes darting between your face and the box you hold on your arms and he knew that this day would come, sooner or later you'll end up getting tired of the things he couldn't give you.

but knowledge doesn't mean it is easier to accept your resolve, it burned inside of his chest because there was no way he would just let you go.

that he could have allowed to himself if things were easier, but this wasn't a fairytail in which after all the bad stuff you got to experience that pretty and fluffy happy ending so there wasn't another option for him or for you.

"just like that? just throwing everything to waste?" he asks as his hands take the box from your arms, eyes running over the objects on it and he notices the only framed picture of you both.

"are you sure i am the one throwing all to waste?" you ask him, and this time the table turns because he's the one that feels you stabbing him with each word because he knows that his fear is the only thing pulling you away from him.

there's a voice inside his head that screams at him to not let you go, he is totally capable of taking care of you and to keep you safe from all the bad shit that life throws at him but then there's the other voice, the one that whispers to him about his worst fears, the one that makes him have nightmares.

because in some of his dreams he lets you in to his life, without secrets and you accept him, you love him as he is but then he's naive enough to think that you can be into his arms safe. he dreams about you being in danger, about holding you into his arms but you're not here anymore and it's because he wasn't able to protect you. he never made it on time.

"i'm not gonna keep waiting, jason, i can't go arlund telling myself that you love me when i barely know you" jason wants to throw the box to hug you, to tell you everything about him and just cry against your chest because all his hell is making him be left alone once again. but he remains silent, standing with his eyes fixed on yours and he does a good job preventing the tears to pool at his lashline.

"people does not live of love" he says, blunt and harsh and it's true but how do you keep a relationship alive when it's burried deep into so many secrets?

"they don't but you can't expect people to be happy with someone that does not know how to love them" if you pay a little more attention you can hear his breath catching at his throat and beneath that, his heart shattering "i don't deserve this" it's the last thing he hears from you.

it's been two years, two damn year of being left alone all again. jason has lost count of how many times he has been about to call, just to hear your voice or to tell you he needs you.

two years of him moving out of that apartment to one of his safe houses, never being able to spend more than two nights complete there because he always ends up on the rooftop of the old building where he asked you to be his girlfriend.

there's days when he stands on the living room, in silence while he holds a cup of coffee and turns around to look at that photo; the only one he has with you because he told you he didn't liked photos but he wished he had a wall full of silly photographs of you kissing him and holding his hand but there's just that one. you lying over his chest and smiling widely while he pressed his chin to the top of your head.

he misses you so bad, because he deep inside knows that he had been unfair with you, he never knew how to love you and you deserved better and he wasn't enough, that's what jason tells to his reflex when he looks at it on the mirror and he's cried at it, he crumbles completely when he remembers how sad your eyes looked the last months with him.

he never fixed it. he never tried enough to make you happy. it was all his fault because no matter what, the people he loved the most always left him.

he remembers everyday how it has been two years and he hasn't been there next to you to celebrate your achieved goals, he hasn't been there to hold you and calm you when you needed it.

because maybe he wasn't really there but he is always taking care of you. it's been two years but jason takes time to, once or twice a week, go around your block to see if you're doing fine and the first year was hard because for a few months after your breakup you barely left your place.

he made sure to sneak into the building to leave food, without notes attached or anything that could tell you it was him and it never really crossed your mind because he cutted every knot with you, almost as if he vanished from your life. nothing else but a dream you had.

it took you time, probably haldf a year to shake yourself well enough to try and return to your daily routine, work and college with maybe a small join with your close friends and jason always made sure to know you would be alright. even if he wasn't by your side.

what he didn't knew was about the nights you spent crying on your room, curtains closed shut and lights off as you called him just to be met with nothing. he never changed his number, you asked his classmates and they told you it was the same but it was weird because why an stranger would wanna know that? so you stopped asking about him, it was for the better.

the second year was harder, trying to forget jason was hard but slowly you managed to stop thinking about him. after breaking up he dropped out of college, none of his friends knew about him, he just disappeared from everywhere so it was easier to erase him from your mind and heart. if only it was possible.

because there would be days where after graduating you drive past the campus just to remember how he used to wait for you at the gates so you could spend a few hours to act the fool on his place or yours. some other days you would be on a store, looking for something you need when one of the songs he used to hum when he cooked started to play all around the place.

you were over him but it didn't took away the sharp pain on your chest, the small tears falling from your eyes just to be met by a "is anything wrong, princess?" and oh, how much you wished he was here, that it was him worrying about you.

it wasn't jason. you know how they say that a nail takes out another? you never thought it could work but it was worth the trying, right? a nice guy to hold your heart so tenderly that you felt safe. that you felt loved.

jason knows it, that's the only reason he's now going less around your block. seeing you with someone else hurts, it makes him so fucking sad he can't stand it and he has been about to knock at your door because he feels so determined to let you in to his world sometimes but he doesn't, he knows he'll be too selfish to try to go back to you after making you suffer so much.

he drives around your block once every two weeks now, he tries to make it part of his patrol so there's sometimes when you're on your couch cuddled by your new boyfriend, too lost to pay attention to any movie he picked up but looking into the window just to be met by a red spot that makes you feel somehow safe but as it comes it goes, maybe the light of the police sirens.

alike jason, there's days when you find yourself on the rooftop of the building where he used to live, sitting on the floor and looking at the sky. the tears stream down your cheeks until one night you hear the heavy stomp of boots and when you turn around the red hood is looking at you.

there's a strange tension on the air, he stands there frozen like a deer in front of a truck and you just look at him about to say something but it's too slow. he's running away, jumping from a rooftop to another like he was beeing chased and maybe it's common. you're not the first gotham citizen that has had an encounter with the vigilantes of the city.

but the way the white sockets of his helmet lingered on yours made you feel calm, the kind of calm jason's presence gave you two years ago and you remember why your face is damp. he knows, jason knows damn well you go sometimes to his old building but he never expected to find you there, crying.

back at his place he stares at the picture again, you used to look so happy... why did he had to ruin it all? it was everything he had from you, that picture to tell him you were never going to come back to him. suddenly being home felt like drowning so it was better to go out, some more patrol and kicking some criminals would make him better.

call it destiny or whatever you want but jason thanks the heavens to his gut feeling. he ends up around his old block, he sees you're leaving the place and it's almost midnight, you carry your bag and walk through the dark alleys to go back to your apartment.

it's weird how things work because you turn to an alley you usually avoid and trouble finds you, there's a group of three men.

"seems like luck has found us, guys" one of them talks, there's a laugh-like rumble on his voice that tells you this is in no way a good thing. they walk in your way, the fear makes you hold onto your bag as if it was the most important thing in life.

"maybe it's our time to have some fun, isn't it?" this time another one speaks, circling around you until your arm is held behind your back. the third of them snatches your bag out of your grip or at least he tries because your hand is clenched around it.

"c'mon, let go of it or you'll get hurt" he warns, his eyes fixed on yours with a glint of anger on them as his hand reaches for something on his back pocket but there you go, playing brave.

"let go off me, i'm gonna fucking scream" your voice sounds firm but there was a slight tremble to it, but the threat just makes them all laugh like a lame joke.

"the little bitch has some guts on her, huh?" the man that was holding your arm snarls, holding you thighter "what if my friend cuts you open so we can see them?" it makes your blood freeze, because at this point your bag is completely snatched from your hold and there's an stinging pain on your stomach.

almost as he was punching you, the man that has your bag presses his fist against your body in a harsh push when he stabs you. the pain is too much it makes you foggy, not being able to fully register what's going on around you miss the sound of bullets and the heavy steps of the combat boots.

there are three thuds across the alley as your attackers fall and all of the sudden there's someone holding you thightly. blurry eyes seeing a faint red speck in front of you and from afar you hear a modulated voice.

"c'mon... don't do this to me" jason mumbles, he's still wearing his helmet and he refuses to take it off. he's not brave enough to look directly at you because on his head this is all his fault "can't do this to me, princess... look at me, please"

maybe it's the shock of your injuries but there's something familiar in the way the red hood calls you princess and it makes your chest ache, your whines turning into crying loudly between his arms because now it's not only the wound that hurts.

"no, no... you have to resist, don't cry like that, baby" he coos, on the edge of losing it all because he feels like dying when you cry desperately holding onto his jacket "you gotta be strong, pretty, you can't leave me"

"why? why did you had to give up just like that?" it comes out of your mouth without even thinking and it makes jason shake because it was almost as if you were talking to him instead to a vigilante that's trying to take care of you.

"calm down, sweetheart, please" he leans in, his hand pressed against the wound once he takes off one of his gloves "you'll hurt yourself more, you just have to let me take you to a hospital" he says, picking you up with so much care, too much tenderness for a guy that once was a crime lord, that has made so much wrong.

he's quick, he supresses his shivering hands because he has to be sure you make it to the hospital in time even if he drives you around in his motorcycle and misses all the red lights, he couldn't care less about it.

later that night, when you are resting into a hospital room he's being scolded by batman but he's too busy pacing around the rooftop, he took off his helmet and his hands are all over his hair and face. jason is trying to gather himself up to see you.

was this all his fault? of course it was. the person he loved the most, the one that brought so many good things to his life was now lying on a hospital bed injured because he had been so stupid and weak.

without thinking twice about it jason sneaks back into the hospital, still on his red hood gear he goes to your room and locks the door before he seats next to the bed. the helmet rests at your feet while his hand holds yours, not feeling able to look at you he cries himself to sleep, his forehead pressed to your knuckles until it's 4 am.

"jason?" your voice is all gruffy, throat dry but you have to speak because jason was right there and you'll be damned if you didn't recognized the jet black hair and that pretty white streak, it felt so soft brushing against your skin before your fingers brushed into the silky strands "jason..."

he wakes up, scared when he feels his hair being ruffled but he settles as soon as he remembers your touch, it soothes him but when your hand stops scratching he looks up.

it hits you like a train, his clothes and the damn red helmet resting at your feet on the bed.

"it's a lot to explain..." jason starts, he knows it's too much because there are things that cannot be talked just like that about him. your fingers are squeezing his and it makes him break down again.

"is this... is this why you didn't wanted me around?" the question itself is enough to make him nod in silence, the tears are starting to flow down again and jason doesn't fight it.

"it sounds so fucking stupid when you say it like that... i feel so fucking stupid" his voice breaks and it's the first time you see him so vulnerable, it makes you want to hug him because even with everything that happened you loved him. how could you not love jason? he had always made you feel safe and understood, because maybe you didn't knew him so well he knew you and he always made sure to let you know he loved you with your every flaw.

"it is so hard to think about it because i feel like you don't deserve to deal with even more shit" he says, looking away "do you... do you know how it feels when i imagine how much danger you'll face around me? i can't stop thinking that you're here because of me, it's everything my fault, y/n."

it's heartbreaking, because you know he is seeing himself as someone who wasn't worth it and ad the red hood it was even worse because everyone knew about what he has done but there's so much more about him than just that.

"it's not your fault... it shouldn't have had happened but i turned into the wrong alley" your voice is low and a soft grunt escapes your lips when you sit yourself up to reach his chin, making jason look at you "and there's no reason why being around you should be easy, who said it had to be everything safe when we live in gotham?"

the small smile that makes it up to your lips makes his heart break, after all his shit, all the hurtful things he said before you were trying to make him laugh.

"i'm so sorry, y/n" he holds your hand again, hiding his face on the mattress of the bed as he cried "i know i'm not perfect, but we can work this out..."

"i know you're not perfect, not as jason todd nor as the red hood" you say, thumb caressing his knuckles as you look into his bloodied hands and notice is the same hand he held pressed against your stomach "but right along all your flaws there's a lot more and with all the shit we've been through... i still love you, just like that"

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 51)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut

With the wedding coming up, Cillian and you made even more of an effort to remain on good terms than you ever did before. While he was away, filming the Peaky Blinders Movie, you video called him so that Mara could see her daddy every day.

Every day, before she went to bed, you allowed Cillian to read her a story over the webcam, whenever he was able to.

It was a small gesture that meant a lot to Mara, and it helped her and Cillian to maintain a connection despite the distance.

Your therapist welcomed the positive communication and reminded you that you were doing an implacable job by keeping him involved even despite his busy schedule. 

During that time, you also noticed a slight change in Cillian's behavior. He seemed more relaxed, more at ease with himself, and with you. 

"So, what's the plan for Mara's birthday next week?" he asked one evening when he skyped in from London.

"I was thinking a party actually. She has been at daycare twice a week and made some friends. I was going to invite them and their parents. My mum, Siobhan and Emma are coming too, and I think even your mum is driving down from Cork. I also invited two friends from my mother's group," you said, filled with enthusiasm for Mara's big day.

Cillian chuckled, his eyes filled with warmth. "Sounds like you got everything planned out," he said, sounding genuinely pleased. 

"You know it would be nice for Mara if you could come,"  you added, hoping that he might be able to make the trip.

"I would love to," he said, "but you know I can't leave the set, Y/N. I have a busy schedule filming and I'm just hoping that things will ease up a bit in the next couple of weeks," Cillian said with sadness in his voice. 

You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment, but you knew that filming was important for Cillian's career.

"I know, but what I am saying is that you are more than welcome to come if you wanted to," you repeated, looking him straight in the eyes through the camera.

"And I appreciate that, really," he nodded, taking a deep breath. "But I still need to wrap up this movie." 

"I understand," you said softly, biting your bottom lip. "And, you know, you can always celebrate with her when you come back by taking her to the zoo or something. She probably won't remember the party anyway, but she will also remember the zoo," you chuckled, seeing how it was Mara's favorite place to go these days. 

"You are probably right you know," Cillian conceded, his expression softening even further. "Now, did you call the carpenter to fix up the shelving in the living room? I told him that you would call and to invoice for it. You might need that done before the party," he continued, seeing how one of the built in shelves had collapsed after you tried to carry out some DYI work on it. 

"No, he can't do it until the week after next, but Sean offered to fix it for me before the party which is nice,"  you informed him, noticing how Cillian's expression changed for a second.

"Sean, huh?" Cillian chuckled; his expression unreadable but you could hear a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Don't start, Cillian! Don't fucking start!" you shot back with irk, already feeling the familiar burn in the pit of your stomach.

"I didn't even say anything," Cillian smirked, his eyes glimmering as he studied your reaction.

"Then why are you acting the way you are when I bring up his name?" you asked, rolling your shoulders back, trying to release some tension in your body.

"I'm not. It's none of my business who you spend your time with so long as you keep Mara out of it," Cillian growled, scratching the back of his neck impatiently.

"You know what, I was actually thinking about inviting him to the party, as a friend of course and only if you would allow it. Because he has been a big help those last few days, running errands for me for her party while I was sitting my exams and he asked me whether he could come," you told Cillian nonchalantly, secretly enjoying his reaction.

"Oh, did he now?" Cillian said with a sigh as he adjusted the display setting. "So, you two are getting more serious then?" he enquired  without looking at you.

You could tell he was slightly irritated, he clearly didn't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing it on his face.

"Well, we are still taking things slow and we not being too serious about it. We agreed on no labels, but I still only consider him as a friend, with benefits,"  you replied, being brutally honest while watching Cillian's reactions closely.

"So poor Sean is still in the friend zone then, eh?"  Cillian quipped, the corner of his mouth curling into a slight smirk before he quickly hid it.

You noticed it, and it stung a little, but you tried not to let it get to you.

"Yes," you confirmed, doing your best to maintain a neutral expression. "He has been very supportive and helpful lately and I like having him around, but there is no pressure between us. We are both free to see other people. That's the way it is for now."

Cillian nodded, turning his gaze back to the camera. "Fair enough and thank you for clarifying your relationship status for me. I just hope he knows that too, because I am not the one who needs convincing Y/N," Cillian said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Whatever Cillian. Can you just give me an answer?"  you asked, your patience wearing thin.

Cillian's smirk faded, to be replaced by a look of annoyance. "What do you want me to say, Y/N? I don't want Sean around my daughter," he said firmly.

You let out a frustrated sigh. "Why not? He is a decent person and Mara won't even know who he is. There are other people there who are no more than friends either and there most certainly won't be any public display of affection," you argued , trying to reason with him.

Cillian sighed deeply, knowing that he couldn't win this argument. "Fine. He can come, but only if you make sure that nothing happens between the two of you that Mara might see, at least not until you are serious about him which, it clearly seems, will never happen," he relented , eliminating any obvious doubts in your mind.

***

Your mind began working overtime to decide a strategic approach to the situation. On one hand, you were glad that Cillian was allowing Sean to attend the party, but on the other hand, the caveat gave you a sense of unease. 

You explained the situation to Sean on your next date when your mother was looking after Mara and, much to your surprise, he was very understanding about it.

"My parents separated when I was twelve Y/N. I get it, so don't worry, okay? I don't even have to come. I can help you set up and then leave before Mara and your mum arrive," Sean suggested, trying to make things as easy as possible for both of you.

"I really appreciate that Sean, but I don't want you to feel like you have to leave on my account, especially since you have been helping me so much those last few days," you  told him sincerely.

"And I like helping you Y/N, because I know that being a single mum can be hard. Your ex hasn't really been making an effort to be here for Mara lately, so if I can do anything to help, I will," Sean replied with conviction.

"Cillian is away filming. That's his job Sean," you explained wearily, wondering if he had brought this up to upset you or validate his actions. 

"I know, but he should really make an effort to be there for his daughter's first birthday, don't you think?"  Sean queried, a hint of frustration coloring his voice.

"Maybe, but it's not my place to say or judge what he does, because he is still looking after us both," you responded, attempting to defuse the tension that had suddenly risen between you. "So, lets change the topic shall we?" you suggested, trying to keep the mood light and pleasant. 

"I am sorry Y/N. You are right," Sean sighed, taking a deep breath before giving you a gentle kiss.

***

Later that day, after you picked up Mara and Sean went his separate way to catch up with some of his friends, he couldn't help but feel slightly let down by the conversation he had with you about the upcoming birthday party and confided in a friend about it.

"Dude, you're acting like you are in some kind of relationship with this chick," his friend Mark joked, taking a swig of his beer. "You told me that you two agreed to be friends with benefits. You don't owe her anything other than your time while you are hooking up and she doesn't owe you anything either! So why do you even want to go to that kid's birthday party?"

Sean sighed, shaking his head as he stared out the bar window at the busy cobblestone street outside.

"Because I want to make an effort for her daughter and make her see that I could actually be right for her, you know?" Sean replied, finally giving voice to his true feelings. "It's just that she is so damn stubborn most of the time, and I know that she still has feelings for her ex, which I can't really compete with."

Mark chuckled, slapping Sean on the back. "Well, he is Thomas Fucking Shelby, man," he laughed, burying the rest of his beer in one swift gulp. 

"You are not helping Mark!" Sean rolled his eyes at his friend's remark. "I am trying here, you know?"  Sean said, sighing again, exasperated.

"I know, and Y/N is a lucky woman to have you," Mark smiled, clinking his empty bottle against Sean's before signaling for another round. "But dude, you need to just relax and stop worrying about her ex. If she wants to be with you, she will. It's that simple."

"She said she just wants to be friends and I don't even want her to meet you guys because I am worried that I will look like a fool when she decides to go back to  her ex," Sean sighed, sitting down on the couch in his apartment, feeling frustrated. "I mean, how am I seriously going to compete with someone like him, a famous fucking Hollywood actor?" Sean mumbled to himself as he paced around his apartment. 

"You may not be able to, but she may also just play hard to get, which is what a lot of women seem to do these days," Mark reminded him thoughtfully as he watched Sean struggle with his thoughts. "Maybe you should focus on being the best version of yourself for your sake and not for hers, and then she will soon see if you are right for her or not," Mark added with a raised eyebrow. "Or you could find something that makes her ex look really bad. He is famous enough, so surely, with the right help, you can dig up some dirt," Mark suggested with a sly grin and Sean's brow furrowed as he contemplated Mark's words, his mind racing with ideas of how he could ruin Cillian for you, once and for all. 

"Maybe I should try, yeah, but I don't want to fight dirty. Despite, I don't even know him or anyone who hangs out with him other than Y/N herself," he said, his morals preventing him from considering such a devious course of action.

"Well, let me help you then," Mark offered, pulling out his phone and conducting a quick online search. "I work for the Irish Times after all," his friend smirked,  focusing on the task at hand. 

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter @smailaway @sophiaaguirred @blondie-22

[milaisreading]

Amnesia

Warnings ⚠️:Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

"What do you mean (Y/n) won't be at practice today?!" Reo yelled at the screen Ego was shown on as the rest of the team went into panic mode. Just this morning she was fine and had even gone to help out the U-20 coach. So what was the issue now?!

"Did something happen during training?" Isagi spoke up next as the others looked at Ego, expecting him to deny it, but silence only greeted them.

"I knew it! You can't trust an Itoshi!"

"Shut up, Baro!" Rin yelled at the taller as Bachira started shaking in rage, wondering what that team did now.

"Ego-san, I left (Y/n) in the infirmary-"

"ANRI!" Ego yelled at the woman, pointing at the screen, indicating that he was still talking to the boys.

"Infirmary?!" Kunigami and Aryu yelled and bolted out of the room, followed by Nagi and Chigiri.

"What happened?!" Hiori yelled out, angry and worried over the state their manager might be in.

"Just go to the infirmary and don't overwhelm (Y/n) when she wakes up." Ego rubbed his temples, watching as the boys ran out.

"Anri!"

"Y-yes?" The woman asked in worry as he pointed at the phone.

"Call Lavinho and inform him what is going on. Tell him to keep those brats out."

"Alright! But what will the punishment for Sendou and Shidou be?" The woman asked, shuddering as she watched Ego grin like a maniac.

"No." The Spaniard said as he stood in front of the door, not phased by the glares he was getting from Kunigami and Baro.

"But coach, please we need to see (Y/n)." Otoya argued as Niko chimed in.

"Plus,maybe she will be scared and need us to protect her, once she wakes up."

This earned a nod from Rin, Nagi and Aryu as Lavinho raised an eyebrow.

"In the infirmary? Protection from what?" The man asked as the group fell silent, unsure what to even say.

"Well... needless?" Kurona spoke up as Karasu and Yukimiya quickly nodded their heads. Lavinho facepalmed and was about to sho them away again, but got interrupted as Chris opened the door.

"(Y/n) is awake now." The blonde's words struck a nerve, causing Chigiri and Isagi to push past the two while they told them to stay outside.

"(Y/n)?!"

"Are you alright?!" The two asked as the girl and Noel looked at them. Their eyes widened when they saw a bandage around her head and the girl blinking at them.

"Uhm..." The girl muttered as she watched Aryu and Nagi run to her bed.

"Hey you two!"

"Don't scare my child like that, Nagi!" Chris scolded the albino, but was left completely ignored.

"Do I...do I know them?" (Y/n) asked Noel, pointing at the group.

"What?!" Baro and Karasu yelled in disbelief, causing Lavinho and Chris to send them warning glares.

"(Y/n)... she had a little accident and the doctors said she might have temporary amnesia." Noel explained as (Y/n) kept looking back and fourth between the coach and the boys. This sent a wave of mixed emotions through the group, one part was sad that she couldn't remember them, bit the other was ready to kill whoever was responsible for this.

"So, I know them?" (Y/n) asked again. Otoya cleared his throat and walked up to (Y/n), grabbing her hand gently.

"How can you not remember me, my dear? I am your boyfriend after all." Otoya said sadly. The words needed a minute to be registered in everyone's heads, but once they did all hell broke loose.

"I-I am sorry, I really don't remember you!" (Y/n) started panicking.

"Otoya!" The boy earned a slap from Nagi and Kunigami had to pull him away as Lavinho and Bachira sent him menacing looks.

"Otoya, to my office." Lavinho said, but Japanese boy paid him no mind.

'Her hand is so soft.' He thought.

"Now, before Chris ends up in prison for a murder charge..." Noel started, looking at his colleague, who was being held back by Chigiri and Reo.

"...(Y/n) over here won't be able to manage you guys as well as she usually did. So please, while she is working make it easy on her." The boys all nodded as Noel sighed, looking at Gagamaru and Isagi.

"Isagi, Gagamaru, you two will be assisting (Y/n) while she is in this state. Got it?"

The two nodded their heads, earning protests from the others.

"What about us?! We can do just as well of a job!"

"Loki was the first one to say that Rin and Karasu won't be left alone with her. And Bachira is too wild and Otoya...well." Lavinho finished, pulling a little harder on the said boy's ear.

"What?! I can be calm too! Give me a chance, Lavinho!" Bachira yelled.

"And how are Rin and I not capable of taking care of (Y/n)?!" Karasu asked in agitation.

"Don't put me in the same place as these lukewarms. Isagi, stop cozying up to (Y/n)!"

"She is scared of you all yelling." Isagi deadpaned as (Y/n) hid behind him and Gagamaru, meanwhile the group grew louder, arguing with their coaches as to why they can't protect her.

"Thank you, Kunigami?" (Y/n) raised her eyebrow, hoping she got his name right. The orange-haired boy sent her a short smile as they walked down the hallway and he carried the box of footballs she was supposed to bring to Loki.

"That's right, you are really getting the hang of it. I am sure your memories will come back soon too." Kunigami praised, causing (Y/n)'s face to heat up a little.

"I hope so too! It's really annoying how everyone knows me and I don't remember anyone..." (Y/n) said sadly as Kunigami nodded his head.

"I can only imagine, but you will soon figure it out. Don't worry."

"You think so? Thank you-" The sweet moment got destroyed by Isagi and Gagamaru as they ran at Kunigami.

"You bastard, why did you lock us in the closet?"

"Snake!" Gagamaru added as they stopped in front of them, panting while Kunigami rolled his eyes.

"You guys were locked up?" (Y/n) raised her eyebrow as Isagi nodded his head.

"Yeah... if it wasn't for Chris-san, we would still be in there." The blue-eyed boy explained, just in time when Ego's voice was heard, calling for Kunigami to visit him in the office.

"And here? Do you remember this?" Hiori wondered as Kurona showed her a picture they took after a match with Bastard München. Isagi and Gagamaru were sitting on either side of (Y/n) as she observed Kurona's phone and eating her lunch. Gagamaru kept on glaring at Nagi and Reo, who were trying to approach the table, meanwhile Isagi was avoiding the stink eyes from Rin and Baro.

"I am sorry, I really can't remember anything. This was after a game with..."

"With Manshine, well it was a practice game." Kurona clarified as Hiori quickly spoke up.

"Don't worry! We have more pictures and videos."

"Maybe try showing (Y/n) the video she took of us during our match with the U-20?" Gagamaru offered as he received a side-eye from Hiori.

"You just want her to see your goalkeeper skills."

"So?"

"Uhh! Show her my winning goal!" Isagi added in as (Y/n) looked excitedly at Kurona and Hiori, both not having the heart to say no to her. While (Y/n) was watching the videos, giving Gagamaru and Isagi occasional compliments, the two boys sent each other triumphant looks.

'Lucky...'

'I wonder how it feels like to be praised like this by (Y/n)...'

"Nagi, Reo... what are you two doing?" The duo froze dead in their spots and looked at their coach Chris, who was looking ready to murder someone. Currently Nagi was laying (Y/n)'s lap while while Reo was laying his head on her shoulder. Chigiri sent the two a smirk, happy that Chris was mad at them now.

'Serves them right, they forced me to distract Gagamaru and Isagi, only for them to monopolize (Y/n)'s time.' The redhead thought.

"Get off you two, time for training." Chris said calmly as Reo tightened his grip on (Y/n).

"We just finished with the training!"

"Yeah, I am sleepy."

Chris felt his fists clench and his smile tighten.

"Get up you two, (Y/n) probably doesn't need you two annoying her."

"I don't mind. Noel-san said I have the afternoon off." (Y/n) defended the two.

"Can you comb my hair then? You do this all the time!" Chigiri cheered as (Y/n) nodded her head.

'These three...'  Chris felt his eye twitch while observing the trio sending them warning glares from time to time.

"Ouch!" (Y/n) yelped as she held her forehead in pain. Rin and Baro froze in their spots as they felt Loki and Snuffy sent daggers their way. The Ubers and PXG had a practice match and (Y/n) was called over to help out with some things as Aryu and Niko kept a close eye on her. The duo were sadly too focused on her to notice Baro, Rin and Karasu getting into a argument on the field. It ended up being bad enough to provoke Baro to kick the ball Rin's way, only for him to carelessly kick it away. It wasn't a gentle kick either, so when it did hit (Y/n), the girl felt like fainting again.

"(Y/n)!" Aryu yelled as him and Niko ran up to her. Snuffy took a deep breath as Loki inspected her head.

"Baro, to my office." The Italian coach said, causing the other players on the Ubers team to shiver in fear.

"It doesn't look too bad, but I think she should go to the infirmary." Loki said as Niko helped (Y/n) up.

"Alright, Aryu and Niko, you two bring (Y/n) to the infirmary and call Noel." The two boys nodded, watching as Snuffy walked up to where Baro was.

"Karasu, Rin. Come with me." Loki said with a tight smile, causing the duo to gulp.

"No."

"But-"

"No Yukimiya, I don't care what any of you have to say. Until (Y/n) isn't better, she is not seeing or talking to any of you. Did I make myself clear?" Noa asked, glaring at Yukimiya, Kurona and Kunigami.

"But what if she needs anything?"

"Anri is there to help her. You guys aren't safe for her to recover. We don't want another incident like the one hours ago."

"But we could-"

"Off to training, Kurona!" The trio flinched as they heard Ego's yelling from the speakers and sighed, opting to retreat for now.

[and-claudia]

Against All Odds pt. 7 (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

SHE LIVES!!!!!! Hey guys sorry it's been awhile!! This semester is crazy!! I got a little time off and was finally able to work on some writing!! I am still getting back into the swing of it so I am so sorry if this isn't my best quality!!

Warnings: more angst, allusions to SA

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

word count: 4000+ (shorter again, I know but I wanted to do the whole ambush part and the suburbs part together in one part, so the next one should be longer, but it may not be out until closer to Christmas once the semester is over)

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

gif not mine

After we had all gotten a chance to clean up, Joel decided to go out and see if he could get the truck started. Meanwhile, I went around the kitchen seeing if there was anything salvageable to bring with us. 

“Truck’s ready.” Joel said as he walked in. 

“Good, I found a few cans of food in here. I figured I could check the garage too before we left.” 

He nodded before turning around and walking back out. I turned to Ellie who was throwing her bag back on. 

“You ready?” I asked. 

“Yup. I’ll help you look in the garage when we get out there.” She said as we headed for the door. 

“Thanks.” 

We got to the truck and tossed our bags in before taking one last good look around. There wasn’t much out here in all honesty. I was ready to just get in the truck and leave when Ellie called me over. 

“Hey, I found some more cans over here!” She hollered causing Joel and I to walk over. 

“What‘cha got?” I asked. 

“I found a few things, they were all under that crusty shirt.” She said pointing to it. 

When I saw it, my eyes almost bulged out of my head. I knew where that shirt came from, and it belonged to the man standing beside me who had a similar expression on his face. 

“Ellie, go wash your hands, we’ll get the cans.” I said and she gave me a weird look, “Just go do it.” 

She shrugged and did as I said. 

“Huh, never really expected to see that again.” Joel said tossing the shirt aside. 

“Yeah, me neither… Do you think Bill or Frank ever found it?” I asked. 

He only shrugged and started grabbing the cans to put in the truck. So much for a conversation. 

When Ellie got back, we loaded up the truck with everything we were taking. Joel got into the driver's seat, and Ellie got in behind him. Out of instinct, I went to get in the backseat with Ellie. I had never actually ridden up front ever. I was still in a car seat when the outbreak happened and then anytime I rode in a vehicle after that, I was always in the back. 

“What are you doing?” Joel asked. 

“What?” 

“Get up front.” He nodded to the vacant seat beside him. 

I shut the door and went to get in the front seat, “This is weird.” I commented but to tell the truth, I was kinda excited to ride up front. 

“Both of you buckle up.” Joel said, as he started the truck. 

“What?” Ellie asked. 

“This thing.” I showed her mine that I had pulled down. 

She glanced around herself before Joel turned around in his seat and reached back to help her out. I couldn’t help but smile to myself, it was really such a dad thing to do, but I tried not to dwell on it too much knowing it would only make me sad. Subconsciously, my hand went to my stomach. 

“Is it safe?” I asked as he pulled out of the garage. 

“Hm?” 

“Riding in the front when you’re pregnant, is it safe?” I clarified. 

“You think I would tell you to if it wasn't?” He asked as we began to drive away from the house. 

I shrugged and reached up to open the glove compartment. I found a cassette tape in it. It was too faded to read what was written on the side. I shrugged and opened it anyway. 

“What are you doing?” Joel asked. 

“Road tunes.” I said as I put it in. 

An old song started playing that I vaguely recognized. I reached up to change it to see what else was on it, but Joel stopped me. 

“No leave it, leave it. This is good. This is Linda Ronstadt. Do you know who that is?” 

“I don’t.” Ellie said from the backseat. 

“I’ve heard of her… I think my mom used to listen to her… This song sounds a little familiar.” I said. 

We pulled up to the gate and Joel stopped. He took a deep breath before pressing the button to open it. The sun was low in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow across Joel’s face. I rested my head against the window as we drove. As the song got to the chorus I heard the familiar words “And I think I'm gonna love you, For a long long time” I couldn’t help but think of Joel… and as I sat there, eyes closed, I allowed myself to pretend, even for just a moment that everything was normal… that Joel and I were together, the outbreak never happened, maybe even we were the same age, going home to tell my parents about the baby, his daughter-no our daughters- sitting in the backseat. It felt so right. It felt like a dream… too good to be true. 

Progress was slow. Once every hour or so, we were having to stop to siphon gas out of abandoned cars. During one of our stops, I was looking at the map trying to help refine our route. I traced my pinky over a route that would take us longer but would ultimately be safer. 

“Why don’t we follow that one? 84?” Ellie asked pointing to a different interstate. 

“Because 84 goes to Hartford, the QZ there is in shambles. We’re trying to avoid it, but not take forever… so I’m thinking… stay here on 90, avoid Connecticut all altogether… only issue is, it does take us further North… so it’s going to take us even longer…” I said, scanning the map for any alternatives. 

“Well, we’re already taking forever, stopping every hour.” Ellie said with a sigh as she sat back in her seat. 

“I know, but we have to.” I said with a similar sigh just as Joel opened the door. 

“We have to what?” He asked, starting the truck again. 

“Stop every hour for gas.” I said. 

“But why? I thought cars were supposed to be useful. This just seems like a major inconvenience.” 

“They were. 20 years ago. But gas breaks down over time… the stuff I’m siphoning out of these cars is practically just water now. So to keep the truck going, gotta make stops. But it beats walking there.” 

“I think found us a route to take. It takes us North a bit, but it’ll avoid Conetticet completely. I think it’s worth it if it means we avoid Hartford.” 

“Let me see.” 

I showed him and to my surprise, he agreed it was the best option. 

“We got maybe two hours left of daylight… I wanna get past Springfield at least.” He said. 

I nodded and soon we were on the road again. We had already cycled through the tape and were now riding in an awkward silence. I glanced behind me at Ellie to see what she was doing and found her reading a book. 

“Whatcha reading?” 

She held it up to show me, “‘No Pun Intended: Volume Too’ by Will Livingston,” She said with a smile, “Get it? Volume Too.” 

“Jesus.” I heard Joel sigh under his breath, hearing our conversation. 

“Is there some good stuff in there?” I asked. 

She nodded and then scanned the page she was on to find a worthy joke, “Oh here, it doesn’t matter how hard you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationary.” 

I smiled, it was cheesy but good. 

“What did the mermaid wear to her math class?... An Alge Bra!” She said, laughing a little at it. 

I laughed some too and glanced over at Joel, he was shaking his head slightly, clearly not amused by the jokes. 

“I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone-” Ellie began another joke.

I knew this one and decided to push Joel’s buttons, just a little. 

“But then it dawned on me!” I said with Ellie. 

“No way, you know that one?” Ellie said. 

Joel looked over at me still not amused, “You can ride in the back.” He said. 

“You’re such a stick in the mud, you know that?” I said to him.

Thankfully Ellie got the hint that that was enough jokes for now and closed her book in favor of looking at what we were driving past. Both sides of the roads were covered in cars that had been forced off the road. 

“Must have been some truck.” Ellie said. 

“Yeah, they used to stick big-ass plows on them, and clear the roads for their tanks and such.” Joel said, not even glancing away from the road in font of him. 

“I wanna see a tank!” Ellie said. 

“I don’t.” I commented, talks usually didn’t mean good news. 

“You will. Tanks, choppers, all that stuff. But they’ll fight the wrong enemies. Just scattered around now.” He said, clearly bringing a heavier tone to our conversation than Ellie was wanting because she quickly changed the topic. 

“Oh yeah, I found this…” She said leaning forward and holding a new cassette tape in her hand, “This make you feel all nostalgic?” 

Joel glanced at it, “This is actually before my time.” 

“Great, even older, old music.” She said, sitting back.

“It’s a winner though.” Joel said, putting it in. 

“Found something else too.” Ellie said, pulling out a magazine from under the seat. 

She opened it and scanned the pages, “It’s light on the reading but it has some interesting pictures.” 

At that Joel and I both looked back to see what she had found. 

“No, no, no. Put that back.” Joel said immediately, meanwhile, I was just trying not to laugh.

During the whole exchange, I was just trying not to laugh, but then I was sent over the edge when I heard Ellie say, “Why are all these pages stuck together?” 

I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I started laughing so hard it was difficult to breathe. What made it even better was Joel trying to come up with a response. He stumbled over his words and couldn’t get an answer to form. 

“I’m just fuckin’ with ya.” Ellie said, before scooting over to the window and tossing it out. 

I was in tears by this point. 

“Dude, chill, you’re gonna piss yourself.” Ellie said. 

“I’m trying not to.” I said, whipping the tears from my eyes. 

After that, the drive died down. Every so often we would comment on what we saw. We passed some wild buffalo that had roamed more and more since the outbreak. We passed an old amusement park. You could see the old rollercoasters still standing tall. I had always wanted to ride one, but never got to. Joel told us about a few that he had been on when he and his brother went to Six Flags Fiesta Texas, a couple of my brothers had been there before too, I was just too little to go with them. Later on we saw the tanks that Joel promised. And just like the hundreds of cars we had passed, they were left abandoned on the side of the road. 

I was grateful when Joel announced that we had done enough driving for the day and pulled the truck off the main road, across a field, and into the tree line to keep us hidden. I got out and stretched. Sitting all day had made my knees stiff. 

“I’m gonna make us some food.” Joel said and I nodded. 

“I’m going to go find a place to pee.” I said, walking the other way. 

When I got back I could smell the food and it made my stomach rumble. 

“What is that?” I asked, walking over to stand by Joel. 

“20-year-old Chef Boyardee ravioli.” He said. 

“Could’ve left out the ‘20-year-old’ part.” I said, taking a seat. 

“You can raid what we have, it’s slim pickings though, but I guess if the smell or something is already making you feel sick.” He said. 

“Oh, no, I feel fine. It smells really good actually.” I said, happy that I didn’t feel like I was going to puke anytime soon. 

“Good. Here.” He said scooping some out and handing it to me, “Ellie, come eat.” He called the young girl over. 

Ellie took her portion and sat down with it then immediately dug in. 

“Slow down some.” Joel said. 

“This is good stuff, what is it?” She asked between bites. 

“Chef Boyardee.” 

“That guy was good.” She said, shoving another bite into her mouth. 

“I actually agree.” 

“Me too.” I nodded, taking a bite of my own. 

“So… how long we staying out here?” Ellie asked. 

“I figured I sleep tonight and drive tomorrow, all day, all night, get us to Wyoming by next mornin’.” Joel said. 

It wasn’t a bad plan, I just didn’t know if he’d be able to stay up that long without dosing off. Ellie must have thought the same thing. 

“Why doesn’t Yn take a shift driving? I feel like that’s a lot of driving for just one person.” She said. 

“I don’t know how to… well, I know the logistics of it, but I’ve never actually done it before. And don’t think right now is the time for driving lessons.” I said. 

She nodded before firing off another question, “Can we start a fire? I’m freezing.” 

I already knew the answer but Joel beat me to it, “Now why am I going to tell you no?” 

“Because infected will see the smoke.” She said with a sigh. 

“Fungus ain’t that smart.” He shot back. 

“We’re too remote now for infected.” I chimed in. 

“Okay, so people?” She asked and we nodded, “So what are they gonna do? Rob us?” 

“Oh, they’ll have way more in mind than that.” Joel said. 

Ellie nodded, understanding what he meant. A young girl, a woman in her 20s, and an older man wouldn’t be much of a fight against raiders, and if a big enough group got to us and overwhelmed us, they could easily have their way with any of us. It was a scary thought, but it was just the reality of what could happen. 

Conversation died off after that and we finished our meal in quietness. Then after that, we got ready to settle down for the night. We each grabbed a sleeping bag and brought them over to the lantern to set up. 

“Actually smells pretty good.” Ellie commented as she laid her’s out. 

“That would be Frank’s then.” Joel said. 

“That would mean you have Bill’s.” I said, popping the tag off of mine. I had found an unused one in one of Bill’s supply stashes. 

I hesitated as I thought about where to lay mine out. Yes Joel and I had a few moments today where we seemed like our old selves before we knew about the baby, but I wasn’t 100% sure where we were overall and I didn’t want to test my luck. So, I opted not to lay mine right next to his. We all got settled in and Ellie turned off the light. 

I was just about asleep when I heard Ellie call out for Joel. 

“Joel? Can I ask you a serious question?” She said. 

I was worried that something was wrong. 

“Yeah.” 

She took a deep breath and sighed, “Why did the scarecrow get an award?” She asked. 

There was a few beats of silence before Joel spoke up, “Because he was outstanding in his field.” 

I could see him fighting a smile. 

“You dick!” Ellie said with a laugh, “Did you read this?” 

“No.” Joel said, suppressing a laugh as he rolled over to but his back to us, “Now go to sleep. Both of you.” 

It was quiet for a few moments before Ellie spoke once again, “Those people you said… there’s no way anyone knows we’re here, right? No one’s going to find us.” 

“No one’s gonna find us.” Joel confirmed. 

“Okay.” Ellie said quietly. 

I fell sleep soon after that but was woken up only a few hours later. It was still dark out. I rolled over and saw Joel’s sleeping bag was empty. I glanced around and found him standing watch. I quietly got up and walked over to him, making sure not to startle him. 

“You should be asleep.” He said. 

“So should you.” I commented. 

He was silent for a moment, “I couldn’t… just paranoid, I guess.” 

I nodded. In the short time she’s been with us, I could tell the effect it had on Joel. I knew about Sarah. And I could tell that having Ellie around was bringing that all back to him. 

“Hey, we’ll be okay. Alright?” I said gently as I hugged onto his arm and laid my head on his shoulder. 

I could feel the way he relaxed some and let a sigh. After a few minutes of standing there with him a yawn escaped my lips. 

“You should go back to bed. I’m gonna stay up. Just in case. We’ll stop again tomorrow night and just get to Wyoming the next day.” He said. 

“Okay.” I let go of his arm only for him to catch me by the wrist gently. 

“I love you, you know that right?” He asked. 

I nodded, “I love you too, Joel.” I said quietly. 

And I meant it. Despite the shit show we’ve been through the past few days, I did still love him. I knew we would figure this all out eventually. It would take time, but we’d get there, together. I went back to my sleeping bag and slid back into it. When I woke back up the next morning, Joel was already heating up coffee on the camping stove. Ellie was just waking up as well. About 30 minutes later, we were loaded back up and on the road again. 

Joel had poured the coffee into thermos to drink on the road. In the past, I would’ve happily shared it with him. But now the smell was revolting almost. Ellie seemed to agree. 

“Is that seriously what the Starbucks in the QZ used to sell?” She asked, clearly disgusted. 

“Well, theirs was a lot fresher than what Bill saved up, but yeah, this what they sold.” Joel said. 

“Smells like burnt shit.” Ellie said. 

“Yeah, it’s gross.” 

“You love coffee.” Joel said. 

I shook my head, “Not anymore.” 

“Alright, eyes on the map, where am I heading?” 

“Keep headin' south until we hit 78, that will get us to 76, then from there we’ll get to 70 west which we will stay on for pretty much ever.” I said. 

Joel nodded.

“Where in Wyoming did you say your brother was?” Ellie asked. 

“Last contact came through a radio tower close to Cody.” Joel said. 

I scanned the map to find it and once I did I held it up to show her. 

“Wow that is deep in there… And what if he’s not there?” She asked. 

“Then odds are he’ll be near a settlement, probably close to another city out there. Ain’t too many of ‘em in Wyoming.” 

She nodded and I thought, more so hoped, that would be the end of her questions. I knew this was a touchy subject for Joel and I really didn’t want to upset him. 

“What’s his name?” She asked. 

“Who’s name?” 

“Your brother.” 

“Tommy.” He said. 

“Younger or older?” She fired off another question at him. 

“Younger.” “Why isn’t he with you?” 

I watched Joel for his reaction to this question. 

“Long story.” 

“Is it longer than 25 hours? ‘Cause I think that’s what we got.” She asked. 

I could tell Joel was considering his options of telling her or not. To my surprise, he began telling her about how he was a “joiner.” He told her that he enlisted in the Army right out of high school. Then after the outbreak, Tommy was the one who convinced Joel to join a group that was heading to Boston. He told her how Tommy met Marleen and how she convinced him to join the Fireflies. But last he heard he had quit that too and he was alone and that is why Joel was heading out there, to go get him. 

“If you don’t think there’s hope in the world, why bother going on?” Ellie asked. 

Joel glanced over at me for the briefest second before answering, “You haven’t seen the world, so you don’t know.” 

“You keep going for family. That’s about it.” He added. 

“I’m not family.” Ellie pointed out. 

“No, you’re cargo. And I made a promise to Tess. And she was like family.” 

I could tell the conversion was making him shut down. 

“What if you don’t find him?” Ellie asked. 

It was a legitimate question. One that I was too scared to ever dare ask. 

“I will.” Joel said firmly. 

“How do you know?” 

“I’m persistent.” 

That shut the conversation right down. 

“Hey Ellie, we got up pretty early. You can take a nap back there if you want.” I said. 

“I’m not even tired.” She said. 

But sure enough after about 30 min of silence, she was out. 

“Are you okay?” I asked Joel. 

He sighed, “Yeah.” 

“You sure?” 

He only nodded. 

I decided to drop it, he had already shut down, and there was no point in making it worse. Instead, I opted to also get some rest. Later that day, Joel had changed his mind and continued driving through the night. 

I could never fall asleep very long. I ended up dosing off and on throughout the night. When I woke up again, the sun had risen and we were approaching a city. Ahead of us was an overpass tunnel and from the looks of it, it was blocked. 

“Where are we?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. 

“Kansas City. Wait here.” Joel said, turning off the truck and going to get out but I stopped him. 

“Joel, we are way too close to the city for you to go out there alone.” I said, worried about Infected or even other people attacking him. 

“I’ll be fine.” He said and got out, then he grabbed the rifle from the back seat. 

I watched anxiously as he got closer to the tunnel. There could be anything in there. After a couple minutes of looking, he began making his way back. I didn’t take my eyes off him until he was back in the car. 

“Now what?” I asked. 

He grabbed the map to look for an alternate route.

“Screw it.” He said tossing me the map. 

“What’s the plan?” I asked. 

“We go back a ways, get off the highway, come back down, take the next ramp. Puts us back on the road, 5 minutes tops.” He said. 

I sat quietly as he drove but I began to grow wary as we got deeper and deeper into the city. 

“Where the fuck is the highway?” He asked. 

“I’m trying Joel!” I said looking between the map and the signs we were passing. They were all so faded it was nearly impossible to figure out where we were and him yelling at me wasn’t helping. 

“Quit looking at the state map!” 

“Joel, I am trying my fucking best! Quit yelling at me, I’m already freaked out as it is being this far into the goddamn city!” I shot back. 

“Well we wouldn’t be if you could just give me directions!” 

“I thought you had a fucking plan? 5 minutes tops, remember?!” I shot back. 

Suddenly Ellie yelled from the back seat, “Stop!” 

We did and turned to see what was wrong.

“Is that the QZ? Where the fuck is FEDRA?” She asked. 

Sure enough to our left was the entrance to the QZ with its gates wide open. 

“We need to get the fuck out of here.” I said. 

“Hey! Please help!” We all turned to the front to see an injured man stumbling towards us. 

“Both of you seatbelts, now.” Joel said, putting his own on too. 

“Aren’t we gonna help him?” Ellie asked, clearly confused. 

“No.” Joel and I both said. 

Joel turned the car to try and get away from him. I was scanning the area for anyone else, knowing it was a trap. 

“Joel!” Was all I was able to yell as I saw a guy throw a cinder block from a fire escape. 

It hit our windshield and shattered it. Joel kept driving. We ran over something and I could feel the car drop as it popped the tires. Then another man stepped out in front of us and began shooting. Joel swerved the truck to the left. I only caught a glimpse of the glass window before we went straight through it. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact I knew was coming. 

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[poetry-protest-pornography]

Okay, okay. I can't stop thinking about Kang and his approval seeking.

He plays a part to maintain his grandma's adoration, he tries so hard to do things that his dad will be proud of only to have the man shoot down every attempt.

And then, there's Sailom.

Even when he was actively bullying him, he was mostly angry that Sailom wasn't reacting the way he wanted him to. Sailom wasn't afraid of him, he wasn't giving in, he wasn't even properly mad. Sailom didn't give Kang a good grade in bullying him.

And now that they're... Whatever they are, Kang has rapidly shifted to wanting Sailom's positive attention and approval.

They do the money dance again when Kang leaves Sailom's house, only this time, Kang frames it as an almost apology:

When Sailom insists he won't keep the money unless Kang accepts his tutoring, Kang has a whole little moral crisis about standing him up (after carefully smiling and laughing off the comments from Max about how much he enjoys his own hot tutor), Kang shows up to the library hours late, and (after a fortifying breath) actually apologizes:

And then, when Sailom assures him that he wasn't waiting on him, Kang asks to dive into studying with this face:

After completing his assessments, we get this:

Look at those pleading eyes. Please please please tell me I did good.

And when Sailom's first reaction is confirmation? Look at how happy Kang is? Look at how he lights up!:

And then, the reveal:

He failed to get Sailom's approval, and he's devastated.

But it's more than that, too. He's realizing -- a little bit, at least, and it really comes together for him later with his dad -- that the way he's skating through life, the way he's letting his dad's lack of expectation and faith in him turn him into someone without direction, someone who can't meet simple expectations, even when they really want to, is making him miserable. The lack of effort has put him at a real disadvantage, he is woefully behind in school.

And for someone who puts a lot of work into coming off as the smartest, coolest, most in control guy in the room, he is at a loss. And all that wrong-footedness gets all wrapped up in his getting about Sailom. So first, he runs, and then, he doubles down on needing Sailom ('s approval).

We get the renewed commitment for tutoring when he shows up early. We get "let me drive you home", complete with "hold on tight " and both of them looking unbearably soft while the other can't see them. We get the dinner date with extra takeaway to share with Saifah. We get ... This:

And then later, after so much vulnerability and a whole ass chase, and a disaster of a surprise party, there's this:

Kang, getting a taste of what Sailom's attention feels like, of what meeting his expectations might gain him, and looking absolutely lost about it.

Kang has been trying to do well to prove himself to his dad, and his dad just constantly undercuts his efforts, and we see him give up, even after spending this whole episode fighting against the apathy and associated failures and disappointments that that has gotten him so far. But Sailom won't let him.

Sailom literally fights him in order to get him to keep going, to keep trying. Sailom sets himself as the motivation, as Kang's reason to keep going (Sailom took a very long pause when Kang asked "Do you want me to say I want you to be proud of me?" and let that particular word problem start working itself out in the background, and the answer came out "Yes" sometime thereafter).

And Kang is overwhelmed by the prospect of having someone's expectations, of being able to earn someone's approval.

And Sailom is overwhelmed by all the things he's feeling for this boy he literally spit on last week, but has now discovered is a whole mess, and also soft sad-boy under all that (I am on the fence as to whether he knew Kang was Umbrella Boy before he saw the picture).

They are both feeling so many things, and half of them are confusion, and I am also feeling many things.

[saey707]

aaaaa hi hello!! i love your work so much, the way you write kayn is wonderful! could i request literally anything for Ezreal? some smut headcanons, perhaps, or some discord messages would be so sweet — whatever you're in the mood for! i'm starving for ez content.... thank you so much in advance!! 💗

✿ Prompt: Intimacy with Ezreal! ✿

♡ champion focus: ezreal ♡ tw: nsfw ♡ Female reader

Author’s Note: Hey, anon! Thanks for being the first request for Ezreal so far in my inbox queue! ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ ᰔ I hope I am able to quench your thirst with this... short?? or can we consider this a long?? Anyways, cheers! ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

There is no denying that Ezreal is an inexperienced lover. Before you and he became an unlikely couple, he had no knowledge of how to be intimate with a girl. He had been rejected time and time again, in fact. Hell, he was lucky that you even started going out with him before he made it big and had a glow-up!

Intimacy has always been a scary thing for Ezreal. And that wasn't because he didn't want to be intimate with you- it was far from that! He was just always... a little bit insecure with the way he looked. The last thing he wanted was for you to be disappointed if you didn't like what you saw underneath his clothes...

The first night you both came closest to being intimate with one another was a failure. You both didn't make it past a painstakingly long make-out session because Ezreal made the two of you stop.

His hands trailed up and down your sides, lips interconnected with yours. He loved the way you felt on top of him, teasingly rolling your hips against his lap until he was flustered, yearning for more.

"A-Agh..~ That feels so fucking good, babe... Don't stop... P-Please~" the sultry sound of his voice begged for you, his nose pushing against your neck. It was all so perfect... So much so that you had hoped tonight would be the night he finally fucked you...

His hands trailed forward from your backside, lightly groping at your chest from underneath your shirt. Ez always knew the correct places to touch you and the precise moments to make you gasp for air. He knew when it was the appropriate time to deepen a kiss and shove his tongue into your mouth, dominating you with every cheeky move he made.

"Fuckk, Ez~" You purred with a sudden, sharp gasp. Ezreal grinned, his lips connecting with your jawline as you threw your head back, your fingers gently grazing against the front of his chest and protruding collarbones. That was the first mistake of the night...

Even though Ezreal was able to make a quick recovery by sliding one hand out from underneath your shirt, gently taking your hand into his own, he immediately began to shut down when you began to tug at the edge of his shirt. And with a frustrated groan when Ez spoke sternly for you to stop, he sheepishly did nothing more than apologize.

"Why do you do this every time, Ezreal?" you complained as your boyfriend began to try to sway you back into the mood. But when you pushed off of him, Ezreal whined and reached forward for you. Immediately, that drew your attention to his sad face... You relaxed, drawing a hand to his cheek. "You know you can tell me anything..." "I know. I just... The reason why I've been the way I am is because I'm just... Worried you won't be impressed with me."

You frowned, tilting his chin up to level with your own. "I love you the way you are, Ez. You don't have to try and impress me. There will never come a day when I judge you for the way you look, okay? You are a beautiful man!" You placed a gentle kiss on Ezreal's nose, using your thumbs to rub at his cheeks, "We don't have to do this tonight-" "No. Babe, I want to."

He sighed, dropping his hands to your thighs. "I've been wanting to have... sex... with you since we started being more intimate with one another." He dropped his head back, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "But I'm not experienced enough, and you'll only be even more disappointed with m-"

"Then let me lead." That caught him off guard.

But from the look on his face, you could tell that he wanted this. Even though it felt... extremely emasculating to him for a moment, Ezreal had no qualms about exploring outside of his realm of comfort. Who knows... Maybe he'll enjoy this!

You placed loving kisses atop the surface of his exposed neck, readying to get him back in the mood.

Ezreal sighed, huffing for air. It was as if a flipped switched off inside of him, deciding for himself to let you take control. It was as if he finally felt like he could breathe and let himself go.

Still, you didn't want to push Ezreal into something he was uncomfortable with. You didn't want him to get scared and back out of having sex with you entirely. But, you did want to experiment, poking around enough to see what he was willing to try... To see the extent of his comfort zone.

And when you began to sense his discomfort, whenever you pulled at his clothes, you didn't push it. You were gentle, encouraging and praising Ezreal in between hasty breaths.

He was relieved. He knew he could trust you... He knew you were making an effort to understand him, and he appreciated it.

"I-I need you... P-Please..! Please, babe!" You smirked at his neediness, shutting him up with a kiss. You allowed your fingers to undo the button of his pants, unzipping them slowly- just enough to free his aching cock. His face was flustered a bright red, steadying your hips with both of his hands so you can align your pussy with his exposed length.

With every affectionate touch, Ezreal felt himself slipping further and further into your grasp, begging for you to sedate his wants and needs with your body.

And as you rubbed against the tip of his cock, Ezreal winced and gripped your hips tighter. It was the first time a woman made him feel this good... It was almost too much for him to handle. But he still saw it through, pressing his nails into your skin, only encouraging you to slowly lower yourself more until you were entirely on his length. But it became evident from Ezreal's impatience- and inexperience- that he was desperate for you to pick up the pace.

He pulled you forward, slamming his hips up into your pussy. You cried as he rocked his hips needily, steadying yourself on top of him by placing your hands on his shoulders. "S-Sorry, baby!!" He panicked, but you shook your head. You had to assure him that it was okay- That you were okay.

His arms wrapped around you, his cheek pressed against your shoulder, your hands tangling in his luscious, leaf-like hair. His pace accelerated until the couch began shaking.

"E-Ezreal!! Hghn~ Hhgn! Ez!! Mm~ Yes~!" The delicious sounds you made, accompanied by the slapping of skin drove him up the wall.

"If you want more... You're gonna have to beg for it...~"

It didn't take your boyfriend long to come, and he was both surprised and relieved when he did. But you weren't done yet. You were going to reach your climax. And he certainly made it easy for you:

"Mmm... Good girl... Hah~ Fuck, you're incredible at this...~ You're gonna make me come again..!"

[ravens-two]

PICK A CARD reading

What do you need to work on?

Pile 1 -> Pile 2

Pile 3 -> Pile 4

Deck used: Dark Wood Tarot

TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC

Pile 1

2 of Pentacles

"We've been breathing underwater no we don't know how/ Time will keep us moving so don't turn back now" Closer every day - Chris Malinchak, Stealth

Hi, pile 1, I think it's really interesting that you picked an illustration with a person almost drowning and then this song came up. I feel like things have been difficult lately, it might be that you've been feeling like you're barely been able to keep up with everything that's going on in your life. With the 2 of Pentacles thrown in here as well, you may have been in a situation where you're trying to deal with two big things at once. Like, say for example, you're dealing with your own problems and a helping a friend deal with their problems as well. The first message that is coming for you pile 1 is that you need to prioritize because you won't be able to keep every ball in the air.

Now onto what you need to work on. The 2 of Pentacles is a card of duality and flexibility, of making space for a little bit of everything. For me this means that you need to work on not seeing things so black and white. I think that the people in this pile either have a bit of a fatalistic view of things or are super happy go lucky with no in-between. Spirit is asking you to try and look at things in a different way. Maybe things aren't all terrible - or maybe they aren't perfect. You need to recognize the good, the bad and the neutral in every situation. Also, you don't need to have a super strong and unchangeable opinion on everything. It's okay to change your mind as you grow and learn, and sometimes you won't have an opinion at all - and that is perfectly fine.

Going back to this difficult situation that you have been going through, maybe take a little bit to think about it and try to see it from a different angle. Has anything good come out of it? What is a simple thing that you could do that would make this situation better? Try to keep it as simple as possible, sometimes our fears and worries make our problems seem more monstrous than they truly are. As a last little message: be brave and keep going! You're so so strong and as your song says you're getting closer every day. Don't give up now!

Pile 2

The Sun

"Wake me when I fall" Wake me - Messages To Bears

Hey there, pile 2! First of all let me ask, how are you? Are you okay? This may not be for everyone, but I am getting deep sadness and depression vibes from this pile. There's almost a sense of mourning here. You may have recently lost someone or something that was very important to you. Some of you may have never even had this thing to begin with - like you wanted to get into a certain college but you didn't make it. Honestly the vibe here is like seeing the first rays of sunlight, but not being entirely convinced yet that it will rise indeed. I have this feeling that despite this loss and this longing you want to be hopeful, but you're not seeing enough proof that everything will be alright yet.

With the Sun card here more than working towards something (even though yes you do have to work for it) I think that what you need is reassurance. And I really want to give it to you pile 2. Yes, everything will be okay. No, the future won't undo what has been taken from you and it won't erase the pain you have been and you are going through. But you will laugh again, you will feel the sunshine on your skin again and you will feel happy and content. This was not the end. Your future is still being built and it wants to tell you that you will be alright. Side note, but the song "A quarter past five" by Avi Kaplan just came to mind because he sings something like "It turns out fine". And yeah pile 2 it does turn out fine.

Your life is currently in expansion, maybe it's really hard to see it yet, but it is. You will be safe, healthy and happy. The only thing that Spirit wants you to do is to hold on. Keep being hopeful, keep one foot after the other and you will get there. There isn't a future without pain, that's just impossible, but there is a future filled with joy and contentment ready for you.

Pile 3

The Tower

"Have I found you, flightless bird? / Or lost you, American mouth?" Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

Pile 3, the Tower is the card of destruction, but in your reading, rather than predict disaster this card is asking you to evaluate your behaviors. Have you been unnecessarily aggressive lately? Have you been lashing out at the people who love you? Even if you don't necessarily mean to, mean words may have been quick on your tongue lately. Spirit wants you to think about these misplaced aggressions. Who are you really angry with? or What are you really angry about? There are other, healthier, ways to use this anger. Art or sports could be a way to channel this aggression in a way that would make you feel better and that wouldn't hurt your loved ones. The most important thing to realize though is that misplacing your anger/taking it out on others doesn't make you a bad person. Realizing that you're doing it and not making an effort to change though, does.

This isn't necessarily the case for everyone though. I feel like some of you are taking it out on yourselves instead of other people. Simple thoughts like "oh you're so stupid" or "you screw everything up" are signs of self-aggression. Just like the others, I ask you to stop and to think what is causing that anger and why are you taking it out on yourself. Why do you feel that you deserve bad things? This is difficult work, but that will make you feel so much better.

Others of you may be trying to make trouble on purpose as a way to gain attention. This could be literal trouble, like stealing or cheating, or it could be a more subtle form like provoking someone into a fight. Again, we make no judgments here. But ask yourself why do you feel like you can't just ask other people for their attention? What or Who is making you feel unseen? You deserve to be loved just as you are pile 3 and you don't need to be perfect or to cause trouble to deserve other's attention.

Pile 4

7 of Pentacles

"I don't love very often when I do I love too hard" Stupid Boys - Cassidi

Pile 4, according to Sasha Graham (the creator of the Dark Wood Tarot) the 7 of Pentacles is a card of slumber. For you, the work you have to do is subtle in a way, because it's hard to realize all the small little things that we do and that hurt us in the long run. Constantly and without us realizing we continue to hurt ourselves until it's hard to understand where our problems are coming from. You need to wake up pile 4. I know that there are times when we just want to curl up into a ball and daydream our days away, but what you need to do right now is the opposite of that. You need to gather your courage and wake up. Go slowly at first, just watching, paying attention to yourself. What opportunities are you losing without even noticing, because you're afraid? These could be really "simple", like being invited to go out with a group of friends and refusing because you've been anxious. You think that going out will be worse for your anxiety, but the more that you keep refusing these outings the more your anxiety grows. You are giving it power, essentially. This is just an example, but some of you might actually have anxiety (also I also have it and I know that it's really easy to talk, but very hard to actually to take action).

Another big thing that you need to face is fear. What are you afraid of? What is fear taking from you? What would be the worst possible outcome of something? And then I need you to realize something, you are the one in control here, not your fears. They might freak you out, but they are not in control. Let's imagine that you're in a car with your fears, you're the one driving not them. They might try to grab the steering wheel, they may scream at you to slow down, they may be annoying as shit, but you're still the one driving. You get to decide your path, not your fears.

Ultimately, pile 4 there are big opportunities ahead of you, but you need to wake up, be brave and grab them.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Percy Jackson except Jason and Thalia were the first children born after the Big 3 vow.

Long before the events of the story.

Thalia still ends up and tree, but no one really knew what happened to Jason.

Until Sea of Monsters where instead of Tantalus showing up, Jason does.

Because if there's one thing Zeus/Jupiter's gonna do, it's punish his sons.

And just... Imagine everyone expecting some grised old being who's committed the worse crimes on earth.

But it's a kid.

It's a kid a few years older them wearing a tattered purple top.

He'd look like any other camper but there's chains on his wrists and ankles that drag behind him.

Scars covering his body and a tattoo no ones able to fully see.

His eyes mirror the sky before them and hold so much sadness that a person could drown in them.

Chiron is suprised to see him, a mix of greif and relief in his eyes as he greets him.

"It's good to see you, child."

"And you too, sir."

"None of that now, you are among friends."

Jason visibly relaxes at that, his smile goes from polite and practiced to genuine.

"Right... It's good to see you, old man."

His humour is so dry that's it's hard to tell when he's joking or not. And yet he's gotten some laughs.

It feels like a reward in itself when someone makes him laugh. His whole face lights up and for a second the sadness in him fades.

Jason's less off a new camp director as he is a glorified babysitter. And yet he takes it all in stride.

He's not a pushover and steps in to mediate, but for the most part let's everyone carry on as they wish.

If he's not around, Jason can be found sitting by his sisters tree. He talks in a hushed whisper, catching her up.

If anyone notices him crying, no one says a word.

Jason proves himself as a formidable fighter, having stopped a camper struggling with a sword technique and demonstrating it to them patiently.

Clarisse immediately challenges Jason.

He's clearly holding back but Jason does give her a fair fight. His fighting style is a lot more polished.

And yet, there's something wild about it.

He does smile at one point, when Maimer strikes him.

"I'm afraid, that little trick won't work on me."

It was a short fight but the Ares cabin definitely gained some respect for him.

Clarisse asks why he didn't use the electricity against her, and he says he can't.

Shaking his chains like that explained everything.

It's easy to forget Jason's parentage. Especially after seeing him gush over architecture with Annabeth.

Hell all he needs is grey eyes and he'd fit right in to the Athena cabin.

And yet, at the same time there's no one else who fits as Jason's parent than Zeus (well Jupiter but they don't know that.)

Jason's a natural leader, he's a great diplomat and can defuse even the most chaotic situations.

There's power in his words, authority and yet he doesn't abuse it. There's a weight that's always on his shoulders.

He's a mystery.

He doesn't sleep in the Zeus Cabin, he has a blanket and curls up on the ground. Apparently he's used too it.

Tho there's been times he has been persuaded to sleep in the Hermes cabin, it's rare he accepts.

Not that he sleeps much. People have heard the screams from his nightmares.

More often than not Jason's awake, talking to the Naids and Nymphs as he patrols camp grounds late at night.

Surprisingly none try and attack him, in fact they all treat him with respect.

Grover says that Jason's blessed by the wild by an ancient being, not that he knows who.

Jason doesn't talk a lot about himself, he will talk at length about his sister though. And old friends with a sad smile.

The past is a hard subject for him, he says bits and pieces but not much.

The camps magical food doesn't work for him. Jason goes out of camp borders and goes hunting.

He eats alone, outside and Hestia makes a fire for him. He always sacrifices some food to her.

But also to Hera, which was surprising.

"But your a son of Zeus... Does she accept offerings from you?"

"I'd hope so, I am her champion."

It takes a while for anyone to realise but Jason's chains are heavy.

In fact there are days where Jason simply can't move. Because lugging them around tires him out.

And sometimes the camps borders simply don't let him leave.

On those days some campers have hunted for him.

Jason's always suprised and thankful. He'll share and tell them not to out themselves in danger for him.

But they do so anyway.

Camp Half blood decided a long while back Jason was one of them.

He's like everyone's stressed out, tired, nerdy older brother.

Jason has no knowledge of pop culture and apparently that's a crime.

But since no tech is allowed at camp, which means a lot of reinactments of memes

He's still confused but very entertained.

They've seen him fight monsters and it's so different to how he's fought in spars.

Jason fights to survive, he doesn't have a weapon other than his own chains.

He growls, he rips monsters apart with his bare hands and teeth.

Only stopping when they've all been defeated.

It was awesome.

Tho he did almost get hit by lighting from above and had to rush back into camp.

"Can I ask, what are you being punished for?"

"Let's just say, me and my dad had a disagreement."

Zeus: He's a monster, he's nothing but trouble and a mistake.

Camp Half blood: If monster, why friend shaped?

[genopaint]

Am I too late?? It's time for another birthday redraw to celebrate another year on earth!

This year I redrew The Winged Reaper, the Diedra!

"When hell opens wide, skies turn grey The angel of death seeks his prey Corpses to be, tremble in fear The Diedra lives, the end is here"

Here's the original from way back in 2017! There's no real serious reason I wanted to go back to this one. It's maybe one of my first big dragons I did digitally? But truth be told it's just a cool design I still like and wanted to give another go. Hope y'all like the redo :)

And as for me? Well I'm a little late here as I'm writing this at 3 AM (it was REALLY hard to get this redesign looking in a way I was happy with, usually I have these things done the day before but this time I made it today lol) but hopefully you can bear with me for a little birthday message from me to you. This year has been pretty bad, I'll be honest. I've been going through a bit of a rough patch but I do hope you all have liked what I've been able to draw even if I don't feel as creative as I usually am lately. I'm 26 and as my 30's are slowly creeping up I'm getting a little sad about how little I feel like I've done in my 20's. I know I complained about a similar thing last year but I guess I'm just a little self conscious about my work and who I am as a person lately. But it's okay, there's still the whole rest of the year ahead of us and I know I'm far from the only person going through the wringer this year. So I won't be a bummer about it for too long. next year is kind of up in the air for me, I have a lot I want to get done, but I'm not sure how it's all gonna go. But we'll see when we get there I guess! I'm slowly getting back to working on my own stuff too and hopefully you all can see some progress on that sooner rather than later. I know I've been maybe not on my A game lately but I still really want to say thank you all so much for all the support. I know I say it every year but it really does mean the world to me and whenever I see people just making small talk or liking my art it really does make the days feel a little bit better. I truly do appreciate you all even if I don't show it well. Thank you all so much for being my friend, or a fan, or whatever. I hope by this time next year I'll be feeling better and we can have a wonderful birthday redraw. Until then though, best of luck to everyone through the rest of 2024 :)