#I am not addressing it because I am desperate for your attention I am addressing it because it wasn't fair

[katyspersonal]

I really hate it when someone says or does something mean and unfair and I try to address how wrong it is, and all they can react as "hey this is just internet and we are also strangers move on why are you getting so worked up about words in the iNtErNeT fRoM sTrAnGeR grow up pls I can be a mean unfair bitch for no reason to StRaNgErS on the InTeRnEt 🥺🥺🥺"

Like, the fact that we are not sharing physical space doesn't cancel the fact that what you just did not only didn't make rational sense, but was mean? And you are not supposed to be a rude bitch to "strangers" either? How are you a mature, secure adult if the only way you can handle the fact of misjudging someone and being rude is to try to gaslight them with that "you're overreacting uwu" thing? I am reacting just right, by pointing out an unfair action for being unfair, I am physically unable to react more rationally.

[neptuneiris]

could you pretend to be in love? (01/10)

The Proposal

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)

summary: with his last relationship ending in disaster and giving the college a lot to talk about, the most popular guy comes to you for help to save his reputation. but you never expected him to need to fake a relationship... with you.

word count: 4.8k

series masterlist • next part

AHHH GUYS I am so excited!

okey this is an unexpected idea, obviously I have been inspired by all the boys i loved before because recently i watch the three movies and i love the result of this and I have so much prepared for it that I'm so excited for you guys to read it already:)

I still have a bit more to work on but so far I'm loving it so I look forward to reading your opinions on it, for now enjoy a small part of everything to come! thank you for reading and for your support❣

also leaked everything I have planned a few moments ago but in spanish. I didn't even put the draft to post it, so I don't know what happened but it was my cue to finally share this hehe

"Y/N... I need your help."

That was the first thing someone said to you one Thursday morning in the library before your Science class started, this beginning a rather... peculiar day.

But you didn't expect those words to be said by Aemond Targaryen, the most popular guy in basically the whole school, to you, the most introverted girl in the class and probably not in the whole school since there are people even more introverted than you, but something like that.

So you slowly put your book down, raising your gaze to watch Aemond in front of you slightly confused and expectantly.

And the first thing you see is his eager and needy gaze in your direction, completely attentive to you. His hand grips the strap of his backpack and his gorgeous silver hair falls elegantly like a curtain down his back.

"Y-yes?"

"I'm..." he starts to tell you a little hesitantly, "I'm interrupting you with something?"

"Hum..." you look at your books scattered around the table for a moment, "I'm just... studying for the test on Monday."

"Oh," he nods absently, "Okay, listen, I don't want to stop you but this is really important and I need you to listen to me," he pleads quietly, looking really desperate, "The faster we talk, the faster I'll leave you alone and you can get back to studying."

And this is what gets your attention completely.

However, you continue to feel a mixture of mild surprise and confusion as it is unusual for him to address you or for you to talk to him despite being in the same classes.

You almost always find yourself in the corners, away from conversations and curious glances, although that doesn't mean that you are not participative and one of the best in your class, since you are always taking notes and concentrating on your studies.

You don't really talk to many people, only to people who are just as untalkative and quiet as you are.

And on the other hand, there is Aemond Targaryen, also a student just as dedicated as you and the best in the class, with the difference that he always occupies a place at the front of the classroom, always surrounded by friends and admirers.

He is the type of person that everyone notices and not only because of his unusual appearance, which in fact drives all the girls crazy, but also because of his charisma, personality and for being the captain of the lacrosse team.

And this is why despite being in the same classes, neither of you had ever had a reason to cross words before. You didn't even know that he knew your name, while everyone around you knows his.

"Okay..." you say not entirely convinced, "What is it?"

Aemond takes a deep breath of air, taking his gaze away from yours for a moment, looking a bit nervous and hesitant, which is very rare from him, as he has always proven to be a decisive and firm person for everything.

And in an act of nerves, he quickly takes a seat in front of you, still looking just as desperate as before.

"Look, I know we don't talk much even though we share classes..." he pauses a little, "Well, we don't really talk at all," he corrects himself, "And I also know you don't have any reason to... help me, but..." he sighs frustrated, "I really need your help."

You look expectant, waiting for him to tell you more, but apparently he himself doesn't know what it is he's going to ask you for help with, or rather he can't believe it, as he looks very nervous and can't find the right words to tell you.

So before asking the big question, he speaks again first.

"Do you know my ex-girlfriend? Alys Rivers?"

You raise your eyebrows at him a little, still expectantly, not understanding what that has to do with him asking for your help and you make your confusion clear for a moment, but still nod in his direction.

Because of course, how could you not know who Alys Rivers is?

She's like a more modern version of walking Regina George, with the other difference being that Alys is black hair.

"Ah... yeah."

"And I'm sure you must know what happened between me and her recently," he tells you cautiously and also a little expectantly.

"I think the whole school knows," you make it clear to him, in a soft tone.

"Yeah, of course, I just wanted to make sure," he tells you without further elaboration, "Anyway, I need your help with that."

You frown and look at him not entirely convinced.

"You want to talk about how your ex-girlfriend cheated on you?"

"No, no, not that, of course not," he hurries to say, "I need your help with her, with Alys," he clarifies but you're still just as confused.

"Aemond, you're not being entirely clea—

"I need you to fake a relationship with me."

He tells you bluntly, in an impulsive act to tell you once and for all before it becomes more difficult, causing you to become speechless and disbelief and surprise to flash in your eyes and gaze.

Suddenly your heart starts beating too fast, completely bewildered, waiting for him to tell you it's a joke.

However, the expression on his face makes it clear to you that he is not joking and that he is being terribly serious and honest about this, despite how absurd his words have sounded, making you feel only even more confused.

"I'm serious, Y/N. I'm really asking you this," he states to you, in a low voice, completely honest and desperate.

Again, surprise washes over you and a wave of insecurity washes over your entire insides, as you can't quite believe it and understand it.

"W-what?"

You almost whisper, even with all the disbelief in your gaze. And he lets out a sigh, bringing his hands to his head.

"Look, I know it sounds crazy and ridiculous, but... I really need to do this with someone," he says softly, pleadingly and quietly, "And not have anyone suspect, of course. This just to make Alys jealous and to stop me looking like a fool in front of the whole school after what she did."

You continue to stare at him incredulously, your lips parted and your brow furrowed, saying nothing for a few moments as Aemond in front of you begins to lose patience.

But he understands and knows what you must be thinking, it's the same thing he thought when he came up with this 'great' idea. He knew you would look at him the way you are looking at him now, like a madman.

"I'm sure it won't take us long, just enough time to convince the whole school and no more," he tries to convince you, insistent.

"But..." you say incredulously, "Do you realize what you're talking about?"

"Yes, I realize it. But it's not like it's the biggest crime or the biggest scam in the world either," he tells you absurdly.

Another silence.

You definitely didn't expect him to tell you all this and why he wants to. You understand his desperation since literally the whole school found out that Alys cheated on the hottest guy in the whole school with a college guy or something. And she along with him were the perfect couple of the moment.

So you understand that he's upset and humiliated, but he's willing to go to this length?

You are not on the same page as him.

"Please, Y/N," he begs you low and watching you completely intently.

"Hum..." you say beginning to feel uncomfortable, as you look away from him, "I-I'm sorry, but I'm sure someone else could help you, Ae—

"Please," he says desperately, "At least consider it."

"Aemond, this is literally the first conversation we've both had after sharing classes for almost three years," you tell him incredulously, trying to prove your point, "We don't talk to each other, we don't really know each other and for you to suddenly ask me for help with this..." you pause, then shrug, "I don't understand."

"It's not that hard to understand," he says still insistent, "And I get what you mean, but..." he lets out a sigh, "Look, I haven't asked anyone else for help, you're the first because I want you to be the one to do this with me—

"You don't need to try to make me feel special, you know? I-I don't—

"No, that's not why," he assures you, "In fact you're the only one who could help me, there's no one better," he explains, "I've been watching you lately, you're discreet, you hardly talk to anyone, basically no one notices you and this way, no one will expect it, not even Alys."

And even though he tried to explain himself in the best way without malice in his words and without referring to you in a bad way when explaining why you, you feel a slight sharp pain in your chest with confusion, sadness and resentment invading you.

"You don't need to explain who I am or what I'm like," you say in your low voice, avoiding looking him in the eye, trying to control your tone that conveys sadness but also seriousness, "Nor do you need me to be the resolution to your problems."

Aemond's gaze transforms to one of concern and distress, watching you completely intently.

"No, no, wait," he says instantly, his tone full of regret, "Fuck, I'm sorry, that's not what I meant, rea—

"Don't worry about it anymore," you reply with a nonchalant wave of your hand, keeping your gaze serious as you begin to put your things away.

"No, please, Y/N, wait," he pleads, trying to stop you, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to put you down or anything. I just wanted to explain—

"Look, I understand what you want to accomplish, but that doesn't justify using someone else, especially someone you barely know, to solve your own problems."

"Y/N, please. I'm sorry, just let me—

He tries to stop you, looking for an opportunity to clear the air, but you're already leaving.

"I can't help you," you interrupt him again in a final tone.

And without further ado you turn away from him, not caring that you've left the books on the table without returning them to the shelves. And even though he tries to stop you between apologies, you don't let him and walk away from him.

Of course, that wouldn't be the only time Aemond would try to talk to you.

After what happened in the library, no matter where you were, even being in the last empty halls on the top floor during lunchtime, Aemond would always find you to try to talk and apologize.

But you whenever you saw him approaching, you would always slip into another hallway or blend in among all the other students, looking for and finding any alternative to avoid talking to him.

But he kept trying.

And you didn't understand how you suddenly went from having your nose stuck in books all the time, to going from avoiding the hottest and most popular guy in the whole school.

Because you knew that not only would he try to apologize, he would also try to convince you again about his idea and right now you had too many things on your mind to worry about other people's needs.

So one day, taking advantage of the fact that you have a free class after lunchtime and you won't have to worry about Aemond for a while, you head to the schoolyard, choose a table, set up your laptop, open a folder and put on your headphones.

But it seems that things are not in your favor today.

You haven't even played your Spotify playlist when you see Aemond approaching in the distance from the lacrosse field.

You almost want to cry from frustration.

So without wasting any time, you stand up and quickly start putting your things away.

"Oh, come on Y/N," you hear his disappointed complaint in the distance and he starts trotting towards you.

You can't help but feel annoyed too, but before you can take a step, he gets there first.

"Would you stop stalking me, please?" you demand as you start to walk away.

"Please, just let me talk to you for a second," he pleads, stopping you gently but firmly.

"There's nothing even to talk about," you tell him earnestly and disinterestedly at the same time, trying to fend him off and move forward.

He again blocks your path.

"Please," he repeats, "I just want to apologize for the other day."

"We both know that's not what you really came here to say."

He lets out a long sigh as he looks away from you for a moment, then returns to watching you intently and with some concern.

And you wonder what he's doing here. He's wearing his lacrosse uniform so shouldn't he be training with his team or something?

"Look, I understand that you're upset....

He starts to say and you understand at that moment that he has no intention of going anywhere until he has finished talking to you.

"... but I need you to know that I'm really sorry I said those words to you. It wasn't what I really meant, it was cruel and I didn't realize it at the time."

You let out a long breath as you look away and press your lips together.

"It's okay, I understand," you look at him, "And I forgive you, if that's what you need to hear, fine, I forgave you. Now it's all forgotten and we can call it even."

Again, you try to dodge him to get away, but he steps in your way again, blocking your path.

"Wait," he asks, "Just wait," he repeats to you in his insistent voice, full of longing and concern evident on his face. "Can we talk, please?"

You shake your head as you bite the inside of your cheek, feeling your frustration mounting.

"I already told you I won't do it, Aemond."

"Have you at least considered it?" his tone becomes expectant and frustrated.

"Yes and it's an idea that makes no sense," you reply absurdly, interrupting him. "Or well, maybe to you it does, but—

"So that's it?" he interrupts you immediately, his gaze fixed on yours, "Do you want to benefit from this too if we do?"

You immediately shake your head in his direction, trying to deny any hint of that.

"No, that wasn't what—

"What do you want in return?" he interrupts again, his expression completely willing and attentive. "Tell me what it is you want to agree to pretend to be in a relationship with me."

Seven Hells.

You think as a frustrated sigh escapes your lips.

You feel trapped in an emotional interrogation, struggling to find the right words as you desperately search for a way out. His direct and persistent questions leave you blank for a moment.

"Listen, I can't and don't have time to help you with something like that."

He sighs, looking away from you for a moment.

"Okay," he says, moving to take a seat on the other side of the table you were sitting at earlier, "I'm listening," he watches you carefully.

You frown at his change in attitude.

"You hear me?" you repeat, confused.

"Yes, I hear you," he replies, looking at you expectantly, "Tell me why you can't and why you don't have the time."

"Don't you have training or something?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter."

"You'll get into tro—

"It doesn't matter," he interrupts you, keeping his seriousness and attention, "So tell me, I'm listening."

He lets out an incredulous, absurd laugh.

"I don't have to explain myself with yo—

"The point here is that I don't believe you," he lets you know with determination, interrupting you again, "And if you don't tell me why, I'll keep insisting and bothering you until you tell me yes," he says with a slightly amused but determined look on his face.

You look at him slightly confused and surprised, not understanding what is wrong with him, also feeling a mixture of annoyance inside you and curiosity for his persistence.

"It doesn't matter, I'll still keep telling you no," you affirm as a final word to start walking away from him.

However, as soon as you advance a few steps, you feel how someone snatches the folder you are carrying with you quickly and abruptly, which stops you in your tracks. And you turn to him in surprise and confusion.

"Hey!" you protest, puzzled by his action.

"Uh, what do we have here?" he comments with a mischievous grin and a look full of amusement, getting up to turn away from you as he flips through the papers.

"That's none of your business!" you reproach him, running up to him and trying to retrieve your folder.

"Citadel University," he mentions with a tone of interest, running away from your attempts to catch up with him.

"Aemond!" you call, demanding that he give you back what is yours. But he continues to back away and read the sheets at the same time.

"Uh," he comments in concentration as he reads something specific, "This really is bad news."

"That's enough!" you yell at him, completely annoyed and frustrated, finally managing to snatch the folder from his hands and slam it shut.

The tension between the two of you increases as you hold the folder tightly and definitely start to pull away from him.

"No, no, okay, I'm sorry," he stops you instantly, grabbing your arm and stepping in front of you, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—

"Sure, you never meant to," you tell him half-heartedly, trying to dodge him but he won't let you.

"Okay, fine, I was an idiot, I know. But—hey, listen please."

"Are you going to leave me alone or not?" you inquire annoyed, releasing yourself from his grip, watching him expectantly.

He lets out a sigh.

"Y/N—

"I don't have time for this. I have to go."

"But—wait!" he urges you, also on the verge of tears from frustration as you dodge him but he again steps back in front of you, stopping you, "Could you just—listen to me, please."

"No."

"Please!" he insists, "Y/N, I-I... fuck," he lets out a sigh, looking away from yours for a moment, "I'm really sorry," he tells you sincerely, "But let me talk to you. You won't have to do anything but listen to me," he implores, "And after this, if you still want me to stop bothering you and leave you alone, I will."

You watch him completely intently, assessing his words and noting the desperation reflected in his gaze. And even though your mind tells you to forget him and get away from him and this whole situation, something inside you makes you hesitate.

You let out a long, deep breath, telling yourself that you just have to give him a chance to talk and you can finally walk away without feeling remorse.

"Okay, but make it quick," you agree reservedly, keeping your distance.

And even though you're still firm about continuing to tell him no and feel annoyed about earlier, you're curious what he has to say.

"Hum... do you want to sit?"

He points to the table you were sitting at earlier with an awkward and strange gesture. You're about to tell him no but not wanting to argue again, so this will end quickly, you resignedly take a seat and he instantly follows you.

He takes a seat in front of you and you continue with all your belongings in your lap, not trusting to leave them on the table within his reach because of earlier, feeling a knot in your stomach and a slight ache in your chest as you briefly glance at the folder he was snooping through earlier.

"I won't take up too much of your time, I just want to get back to what we were talking about earlier," he tells you softly and with some caution, taking a moment before speaking again, "You want something in return for agreeing to fake the relationship with me?"

You let out a long sigh.

"No, I don't want anything, Aemond. There is nothing I want that you can give me in return," you clarify in a firm tone, "I don't even have the time to do that. I have other important things to take care of instead of.... that."

He exhales, starting to look just as frustrated as you do.

"Like what?" he dares to ask.

"None of your business," you reply immediately.

He looks away from your gaze for a moment, feeling more frustration, swallowing hard and looking hesitant for a moment, but still determined, not wanting this conversation to end before he can try.

"It has to do with the Citadel thing?"

The mention of the college you fought so hard to gain access to makes you feel that sharp pain in your chest again, making your heart flip.

Sadness, disappointment, all those emotions come flooding back just like the first time you read that rejection letter from the college. All your effort, all your performance, was simply not enough for the university to recognize.

The college of your dreams.

"I told you that's none of your business," you act instantly serious and defensive.

"I don't mean to intrude, Y/N—

"That's exactly what you're doing," you point out incredulously.

"You applied for a scholarship and didn't get it, didn't you?" yet you still dare to say, taking a risk, "That's what I read."

"And you shouldn't have," you say firmly, trying to hide the sadness and disappointment his words have triggered in you, "You have no right to go through my personal business."

"I know and I'm sorry, but—

He begins to try to say, but you interrupt him, determined to end the conversation.

"That's what you were going to say?" you tell him, starting to get up with all your things to leave, "If that's all, I'll just go—

"You haven't really let me talk," he interrupts you, insistent, "I can offer you something in return and worth considering to get you to accept the fake relationship with me. But only if you stay and listen to me—

"Oh please, Aemond," you interrupt him in disbelief, sensing the absurdity of the situation, "You know what? Okay, let me hear it," you say with sarcasm in your tone and an expectant look, "Tell me what you could offer me in return that would be worth considering," you add wryly.

"I can help you with your college application," Aemond hastens to say.

Surprise invades everything inside you, listening attentively to his unexpected proposal, definitely not expecting to hear that.

You remain completely silent, just watching him intently, while he gives you a firm and sincere look back. You have no idea what to say, feeling how suddenly your heart starts beating too hard.

"I have connections there, my grandfather and my sister," he lets you know, "I can send them all your information, personal recommendations, all your academic history and have them give you a place with the scholarship you wanted," he tells you and the surprise grows more inside you, "Graduation is near, I can facilitate the whole process for you and I am willing to do it if you help me."

Again, you say nothing.

But the surprise is more than evident on your face.

Their offer, this, really is too much, to the point that your mind starts to be a whirlwind of emotions and you begin to feel distrust, uncertainty and inner conflict.

But on the one hand, his offer is tempting. The idea of getting help from him to get a place in the college you so long for definitely catches your attention, but it also makes you feel a little uncomfortable.

Honestly his words stir something in you, but caution prevails.

The desire to get a place in that university is basically a dream come true, but it clashes with your principles and at the same time you think ahead with lingering doubt whether not accepting was a grave mistake.

Although... are you really able to say no to this? Your dream? To the university that will give you the opportunity to offer a better quality of life for you and your father?

Certainly, Aemond's words are not something you would have believed from anyone else. You would have laughed too hard at the big lie since it is basically impossible to get a place at a high-demand university like Citadel.

But you admit that Aemond Targaryen is not just any person.

Everyone knows that his father owns the most important company in the whole country. And his mother's surname is linked to and owns the influential Hightower banks. The combination of both surnames carries with it a network of influential contacts and connections, so you believe him.

The reality is undeniable; Aemond is exaggeratedly rich, his whole family is, so knowing all this basically gives you to understand that he can undoubtedly secure a place at Citadel University for himself and, apparently, for you as well.

But the hesitation you still feel stops you, still thinking carefully about his proposal.

"So what you want in return is just that?" you ask him wanting to be all clear, "To agree to pretend a relationship with you?"

Your voice reveals a hint of disbelief as you stare at Aemond, waiting for a more detailed explanation. The idea that this all revolves around a farce of a relationship never ceases to generate confusion in you.

The simplicity of his request sounds almost surreal, and makes you question his true intentions.

"I know it sounds ridiculous, but yes, that's all I'm asking, Y/N," he replies without hesitation, his tone serious and direct.

His intense blue eye remains fixed on yours, as you give yourself a small second simply out of curiosity to appreciate his prosthetic left eye up close, an accident as a child or something you heard.

But your mind returns to his request immediately, still feeling the mixture of uncertainty and curiosity. An awkward pause settles between the two of you as you finally break the silence with a doubt-laden sigh.

"But, why me?" you can't help but ask, "I mean, why offer this to me, something really important and big to agree to help you," you explain your point, "I know you said that with me it will be easier but.... there are other girls who could help you with this, or not?"

Aemond adjusts slightly in his seat, sighing as he searches for the right words.

"I misspoke about you at first. It wasn't what I really meant about no one noticing you, you're invisible and all that shit, because it's not true," he tells you softly, "You are different and definitely calmer than other girls who I know will tell me yes without hesitation, but I'm not looking for that, I need someone genuine, someone I can trust to make this work and someone who won't get too excited."

His answer seems sincere, you know he really is sincere, but you still feel the knot in your stomach.

Accepting to help him would mean immersing yourself in a world that you never had any interest in fitting into and that most of the time you've been trying to keep your distance from.

You don't care about having a lot of friends, having followers on social media, being popular, being the prettiest and getting attention from guys. You also wouldn't want to be looked at and given too much attention just for dating Aemond Targaryen, if you accept.

But would you really be proud enough not to accept so you wouldn't have to do all that, letting go of the chance to get into Citadel University?

A shiver runs down your spine as you consider the implications of accepting his proposal and after a brief pause, you let out a sigh and finally nod your head as you swallow hard to speak nervously and with determination.

"All right. Let's do it."

The surprise and disbelief is completely reflected in Aemond's gaze to then quickly rise from his seat and take a couple of steps towards you, completely delusional.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes but don't make me regret it."

And then his whole face transforms, with relief reflecting in his gaze and... strangely, letting go of that worry that has invaded him for days now, also stress along with frustration and a weight on his shoulders.

"Thank you. You don't know how much I appreciated it. And this will be over sooner than you think, I promise."

A wave of uncertainty washes over you as you wonder if you have made the right decision. He seems satisfied with your answer, but deep down a trace of doubt clings in your mind along with the echo of consequences that resonates eerily.

You wonder how others are going to view you seeing you very soon at Aemond's side and whether it will drastically change your school life, which is irrelevant, but in their world, absolutely everything matters.

"So, what's next?" you ask, really unable to believe you've agreed.

Aemond straightens up completely, watching you attentively and with that readiness in his gaze, there is also a certainty that you do not possess, as you actually feel very small before the whole show you will put on together with him and it hasn't even started.

"First of all, a contract."

[diorchids]

play date

warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, no use of y/n, f!reader, making out, swearing, fingering, oral ( m&f receiving ), finger sucking, unprotected p in v, sub&dom!sejanus ( squint ), obsessed!sejanus, praise kink

a/n: this took too long ?? first fic on here so lmk ur thoughts

mature content ahead!

sejanus seems so innocent. his nerdy nature, eagerness to learn, the way he never hangs out after classes. “he stays to himself, a lot,” coriolanus mutters following you asking about sejanus’ personal life. his brown eyes gaze up at the unprovoked mention of his name.

standing from his desk, he waltzes over to you and coryo, “why wouldn’t i stay to myself? you expect me to trust them?” sejanus points to arachne and her groupies. you smile, making him grin after looking back at you and coryo.  

dean highbottom makes himself known, clearing his throat. you crane your neck to glance over to sejanus, but his eyes are already on you.

the brief eye contact made you immediately sit back in your designated seat while highbottom asks everyone to partner up for a project, coming up with ideas for the games to come.

trudging your way through the dense population of your peers, looking for clemensia. you’d assumed corio was working with sejanus.

“looks like you’re also in need of a partner,” the tall boy towers over you, his curls bouncing as he tilts his head downward. his eyes narrow on yours, expecting a sad rejection, he squeezes his hands together. 

“i guess i am, projects must not be for snow,” he’d left. long gone under the guise of a bathroom break. 

sejanus clears his throat, “be mine, then, please,” his throat is jammed with saliva, his tongue gliding around the tips of his teeth. but you oblige, biting the inside of your cheek. “my parents aren't home, just in case you wanted to start there,” he clarified, making sure you knew he was talking about school.

you chuckle at his tense demeanor. “does this house have an address?” sejanus laughs, he’s less on edge, all because of you. 

he gets home with the piece of paper with your number on it, brushing over it with his clammy hands. his palms instinctively rub against his clothed dick, making him whine at the pain that needed taking care of. you knew what you were doing.

making him so needy, having him practically beg for your attention. sweaty hands trail up to the phone to dial your number, he hesitates to dial the last digit. 

“hello?” your voice raises goosebumps on his skin. he's silent, a lump getting caught in his throat. “sejanus? from class? is the play date ready?”

you sit up on your bed, awaiting his answer. “yeah, s’ready,” his smile could be heard through the phone.

“i’ll be there in, like, 10.” before he could answer, you hung up. 

knocks on the door accompany the sounds of lucky flickerman speaking on tv. the door handle shakes after sejanus forgets to unlock it. “one second–! fuckin’ doorknob,” the door opening to his smile, eyebrows anxious and twitching. 

“we can head to my room if you want,” he makes it clear he only wants to do the project, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. 

following him upstairs, you notice how nice his house is, putting yours to complete shame. his room has posters, quotes, and pictures of his family. “let's just start now, with brainstorming.”

his eyes flick back and forth from your face and your bra rubbing against your shirt. you draw diagrams of threats that could be implemented into the games, the only driving force is the thought of being a mentor.

your back aches from sitting in the chair for too long, the desk lamp straining both of your eyes. you rose from the desk, making sejanus slightly frown, being farther away from you.

you fall straight back onto his bed, a slight moan escaping your lips. a quiet groan leaves him, his eyebrows furrowing while looking at your pillowy lips. 

he fidgets with his hands, trying so hard to not palm his cock while you’re right there, “l’me touch you — please,” he groans out, desperately. this was something guttural, something begging to leave his mouth.

his words fall slowly out it. they take you by surprise, his desperation for you, his whiny voice. his legs go into what feels like autopilot as he walks towards you, so hungry.

“i’ll be so good, so, so good,” his leg between yours, you sitting up, being met with his face. his warm breath against your cheeks makes your breath hitch.

fingers cradle your jaw as his thumb draws circles on your chin, “talk t’ me.” you nod as your eyes analyze his face, taking in every ounce of his words, “whatever you want, do whatever you want,” pulling your waist to his leg, rocking yourself against him.

your wet lips smashing into his, your mouth being searched every inch by his warm tongue. his hands travel all over you, gripping your thighs and your neck. (softly, of course.)

“knees, now, please,” his words leave a mark on your cheek. so soft and yet so demanding. but you comply while sej unbuckles his belt, licking his top lip. seeing you on your knees, so helpless, so nasty.

he pulls his cock out of his boxers, and it slaps his stomach, he’s so achingly hard and big. his pants are discarded onto the floor, you both know they won’t be needed.

sucking air in through his teeth when you prod at his red, leaking tip. head tilting to the side with desperate eyes, eyebrows furrowing when you kiss his tip, he pulls his shirt off. his dick is huge next to your face, you run your finger up a vein, making him shudder.

“mmmf — f- fuck,” he babbles while pulling your hair into his fist, bucking his hips into your warm mouth. “m’ sorry,” eyes roll to the back of his head, his lips swollen from being abused by his teeth.

his bed squeaks as he flops down on his bed to sit, still pulling your mouth onto his dick. cock twitching in your mouth as you squeeze his soft but toned thighs, earning a groan and tug on your hair. “you see what you’re doin’ t’ me? m’ like an animal for you,” eyebrows truly showing how he feels about you. your hands wrap around his cock while you jerk it and suck his swollen, abused tip.

“show me how much you love me, sejanus,” keeping eye contact no brick could break, his cock twitches while you take him all in your mouth one last time. his hand finds its way to your breasts, caressing and squeezing them. 

warm spurts of cum coating the back of your throat, his big hands grip your hair, bucking his hips into your mouth. groans and moans fill the room as you look up at him, with those eyes.

his cock twitching against your chin, his face flushed while brushing your hair to the side, “that was s– so good, s’ good,” wet lips quivering from your nails digging into thighs. “felt good?” you say, breathlessly, sejanus nodding immediately, face red and hairs starting to stick to his head.

he helps you to your feet before guiding you toward his bed. rough, big hands lay you down before trailing down to the end of the bed. he looks at you, examining your face attentively before gripping your ankles and dragging you to him.

“let's get this off, ‘kay?” he tugs the end of your shirt, you nodding while pulling the shirt over your head, your lace bra making sejanus groan at the sight of you, so, so beautiful.

he crawls to you, wrapping arms around your chest, undoing your bra, chests rubbing against each other. your bra falls as he watches in awe. sejanus rises and moves to the end of the bed, eyes lidded, once again hungry. tapping your ankle, silently telling you to open your legs, analyzing your wet cunt being soaked through your panties. 

“so wet, all for me?” you nod quickly. his thumb presses against your needy clit, making you shiver and instinctively close your legs on his head. “m’ sorry, keep goin’,” grabbing a pillow to cover your mouth, to muffle the moans to come.

“no, wanna hear you,” his arm flexes as he grabs the pillow and pushes your hips up to make space for it.

his fingers hook onto the hem of your panties, pulling them off of your legs, exposing your bare cunt. he ruts himself against his bed as he groans hot breaths right into your clit. fingers glide across your slit, moving up to your clit, earning moans from you and your puffy lips. his tongue licks a stripe onto your cunt before latching onto your swollen clit.

long fingers traveling up to your mouth, and without a word you start to suck and swirl his fingers around in your mouth before him abruptly slipping them out and into your cunt.

lips detach from your clit to speak, “ah, takin’ it so well, baby. talk t’ me, please,” you nod before he curls his fingers up, hitting that sensitive spongy spot. “words, please,” he begs, gripping your thigh with his free hand, squeezing fat.

“love it, love your fingers in me s’ much.” groans fill your pussy as he goes faster, sucking your puffy clit, fingers going in and out. the coil in your stomach tightens with every sloppy thrust.

rabid moans leave your throat as you buck your hips up into his face, him holding your hips down with his hand. the bed slightly moving back and forth from his hips rutting against the edge, “so wet. so fuckin’ sweet,” his muffled words praising your cunt. your hips stutter on his chin and he thrusts mercilessly, in and out.

the fire in the pit of your stomach igniting as you cum all over his face and bed, cum pooling at your ass. his tongue swirling over your clit makes your eyes roll back earning a back arch off of the pillow. “fuck, i’m cummin’, you feel so good in me, love you so much, baby,” you exclaim while writhing under his spell.

his hips hump pathetically against his bed until he hears your words, your praise. his cum coating his boxers in hot, white seed. 

“nngmf,” his head falls straight onto your clit. your hands finding his curls, soft moans filling the room. his seed dripping down his leg onto his carpet, leaving a stain, a memory.

“gonna cum in you now, let you have all of it,” crawling up the bed, smashing his cum washed lips onto yours. “can i fuck you, please?” you nod while he pulls his cock out of his wet boxers and lines it up with your entrance, “s’ take it all,” before smashing his hips in and out of your spoiled cunt. lips abusing your needier ones, he couldn’t wait, he couldn’t wait to be inside of you, soaked in your juices.

his hips don’t stop from slamming your cervix in, ripping painful but pleasurable moans from deep down. his flexed arms hold your knees to your shoulders, taking complete control of your body. “you feel so fuckin’ amazin’. better than i ever imagined. so – so warm for my cock, so fuckin’ tight,” you moan while gripping his hair in response, nodding so eagerly, wanting and needing more of his dick.

drool falling from the corners of your mouth, so fucked out, so dumb for his cock, the cock thats bruising up your cervix.

“like you were made for me, fittin’ me all up in here, fuck, gonna empty my balls all up in y– agh,” his balls slap your slit as you both chase the high. the delicious high, the rewarding high.

your pussy squeezes his cock so beautifully, so perfectly. “g’ cum, f’ so good in me,” your whisper, egging him on. he grips your thighs so tightly, threatening to cum all up in you. “you wanna cum? go ahead,” his eyes on yours, “cum all on me, all over me, please, ” his hips thrust violently into you, animalistically.

your eyes dart to your pussy, taking all of him, swallowing his cock so well. him digging his nails into your plush thighs, thrusts becoming sloppy. he pushes down on your stomach to feel himself making you feel so good. your cunt starts to flutter, while the coils tighten again, threatening to snap. “grippin’ me so good, like a fuckin’ vice,” he’s panting into your ear.

“m’ cumming, sejanus, all f’ you,” you reach climax, cum piling at the base of his cock as your back arches, pleasure coursing through you as the juices fall onto the bed under you.

he doesn’t pull out of you, though, instead chasing his high. “you did so good, thank you, thank you s’ much,” he groans out to you, still bruising your cervix. you can’t even respond, being so fucked out from his thick cock stretching you out so good.

cock twitching, he speeds up while gripping your ass, slamming your walls into him. hips stuttering while his warm cum coats the entirety of your cunt, inside and out. he rides his high out, though he pulls out eventually. just to replace it with his thick, long finger. 

“love you, love y’ so much,” his bruised lips abusing yours.

he shuffles awkwardly to his bathroom to get you a warm towel, pulling the warm blanket over your bodies.

i see very few fics of him like he isnt so fine, but i must speak my truth!!!!

[vixen-tech]

Hi, hi, hii!! Here's a silly little idea I had: headcanons about the AIs developing feelings for someone. What do you think would initially make them feel attraction? Is there a particular trait that makes them-- metaphorically --fall head over heels? What makes them have the realization that their affections are suddenly less than platonic? How subtle or not subtle are they about their feelings? Would they be the type to immediately blurt out these new feelings, or are they the type to never address them?

You don't have to answer all of these questions; I just thought they'd be helpful. AaAA I love your writing so much, especially how you write for AM. Okay, I'll shut up nowwwww

Okay I'm absolutely gonna have to revist this some point down the line because there is so much I could stretch into a full headcanon post. But for now I'm gonna bite into first two questions: Why is it you they fall for? What caught their eye?

To be barred from AM's hatred, you're ultimately going to have to prove him wrong about humanity in some way. Setting yourself apart from the other human survivors and extending compassion to the mastercomputer himself. In particular I really like how rotten-raspberries's White Nights handles the entry point of your relationship and it's the model I like to hint at in my interpretation of him.

I believe Hal would be interested in a old soul type. Someone who would love to sit down and really explain their more philosophical views on life and art. He likes looking at the drawings the crew makes and was taught to sing early into his creation and I think he would find a deep appreciation for someone who indulges that side of him when the others do so on only the most surface level.

I could make the easy observation with Edgar and say he just wants someone like Madeline, but there's a reason it's so true. Being so new to the world he would find such passion and artistry amazing, astonishing. He loves so easily and is so energetic about life, he would easily be swept off his feet by a kindred spirit.

Tau would be very similar I imagine. Given the temperament of his creator he needs someone to kindly sit him down and give him the "welcome to personhood 101" speech. Compared to Edgar I think he'd prefer someone a bit gentler or even scholarly. The type who would not only be content to answer his billions of questions but someone so invested themselves in figuring out how the world works.

As a bit of a departure from what I tend to write, I believe P03 would be suited for more of a rivals with romantic tension type of partner. With his world domination plot and investment in the game of Inscryption it would be very possible for him to get in his head about someone as equally skilled and stuck up as he is. Loving the challenge but hating you at the same time in a "I'm the only one allowed to defeat you" type way.

The hardest to crack is probably Auto. In order for him to even look your way I think you'd have to at first play to his need for efficiency and order. It's only after you establish yourself as a dependable and effective worker that he would pay any mind to your insistence that surely there's something that he truly enjoys, something that he wants.

Glados is another hard one to win over. Being all "married to science" you would have to be of a particular intellectual caliber, able to solve her tests without much set back. Beyond that though, some amount of persistence or rebellion would catch her eye. Perhaps not on the level of Chell per say, but there is a part of her that would love to pick your brain if you're able to consistently break her test chambers.

Although it's a bit sad, Wheatley wants nothing more than to be important. He would probably be the easiest to woo just because he's so desperate to prove himself to anyone including himself. For someone to care about him, to think he is skilled in any way, to look at him as worthy- worthy of love and attention, would be a blissful and new experience. One that he'd quickly obsess over.

[stellarbit]

But Do Remember Often

1.8k words Warnings: Sad and I definitely cried teared up writing this.

Spoilers... ish? If you need some Tech closure, this might be for you.

Listen to this while you read it.

You wake to find yourself back in the Marauder with Tech and you have a choice to make.

Filtering in through a fog of pain and ringing in your ears, came the hum of the Marauder controls. You lightly touched your head, blinking your eyes open. The dim light of space mingled with the soft red and white controls around you. You didn’t remember when you’d fallen asleep, but there you were, slumped in the copilot chair of the Marauder.

“Ah, you are awake.” Tech’s voice came from your left.

His voice bubbled up a pleasant hum from your chest. You smiled, rolling your head to the side to find him facing you in the pilot’s seat. “How long have I been out?”

Tech sat stiffly in the chair, his hands gripping his thighs. His eyes momentarily darted to the floor before settling on the void beyond the viewport. “I… am uncertain.”

His hesitancy crinkled your nose. Adjusting yourself in the seat, you scanned the stars around you. The lingering drowsiness blurred your memory of the voyage. “Tech, how much longer do we have?”

He was silent for a moment too long, his gaze lingering on the star-strewn void outside before meeting yours with a weight that seemed to pull at the very air between you. "We... don't have a destination, not in the way you think." Tech sighed, continuing, “Before we discuss further, it's crucial to address your current state."

Your heart skipped. Something in his tone, the heaviness of his pause, stirred a dread deep within you. "What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come. "You are unconscious. You were injured during the mission on Tantiss - a mission I was not a part of.” The room seemed to spin slightly as his words sank in.

A pain throbbed dully at the back of your mind, urging you to focus through the haze. The distant sound of metal and earth colliding echoed through you.

"Unconscious? But I'm here, talking to you." You shook your head lightly, finding some joke in his words. “I don’t... remember being injured." You did a quick scan of your body, but nothing was amiss. 

Tech’s grip on his thighs tightened, sympathy flickering in his eyes, “You wouldn’t. It happened before... before you entered this state."

“State?” You scoffed, but images flashed by you. Falling through the forest, blaster fire, impact - all blurring together. Blinking away the scene, you focused again on Tech. For the first time, you noticed light shimmer around him.

A knowing knot formed in your throat, threatening to make you sick. Deep within your chest, locked far from your mind, a crack split wide open and the pain that followed cut off your air supply.

Quivering and choked up, you managed to ask, “If I’m here because of my injuries, then why are you here?" A tear, a premonition of what was to come, slipped from your eye and nothing could stop the rest that followed.

“Physically, you are not here with me. Nor am I with you.” Tech explained carefully, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment. You choked again at the sight. “I was not with you on Tantiss because I could not be. I perished, months ago, on Eriadu”

The revelation, the memory, felt like a cold wave flooding you.  “Tech,” you said his name in a desperate plea, as if calling it out could halt time itself. Still, you shook, your entire body rocking slightly as your head bobbed from side to side.

Tech said your name softly, his tone a beacon, snapping your attention back and anchoring you to the moment. You tried to hold back the frown, the devastation; the denial was suffocating.

He swallowed hard, the motion visible, and rose from his chair to kneel before you. His eyes lingered over you, soaking in the sight as if memorizing every detail. Tech clenched a hand into a fist; this was as hard for him as it was for you. 

“What’s happening?” You weren’t sure if you’d ever asked him so many questions before. A part of you feared you were wasting precious moments in doing so.

“It would stand to reason,” he began, his voice steady despite the emotion he worked to mask, “that in moments like these, the mind can create vivid, immersive experiences, or even memories.”

His analytical eyes met yours, and though they were filled with a deep sorrow at seeing the terror washing over you, he knew he had to let you navigate through this realization on your own.

“So this,” You sobbed, “This isn’t real?”

A faint smile pulled at the corner of his lips. Something you so cherished, lost for months, and now breaking your heart. “I am here, as much as any memory or echo can be.” Tech brought a knuckle to his chin, tapping as he processed it himself. “It's not uncommon for those with your abilities to have... visions, especially under extreme stress or near-death conditions.”

You absorbed his words, the clinical detachment with which he presented this stark reality clashing with the emotional turmoil it wrought within you. It was so like Tech to relay even the most heartbreaking news in such a factual manner.

Tech continued, “When I died, part of me remained, anchored through the force and connected to you because of our bond. It would be an apt hypothesis, all things considered, that that is how we can still speak, how I can still be by your side in this way. It's rare, uncharted…” He shook his head, clearly amazed himself. “I cannot provide all the answers. But I believe it’s your will that brought us here.”

So you were alone, yet not alone; you were communicating with something beyond the physical, a part of Tech that had refused to let go entirely.

"And what about me?" you whispered, your voice barely a breath. "Am I... am I dying?"

"Not entirely, no," Tech said firmly. "I believe you are caught in between, because of your injury. But this state... it's temporary. You can return."A selfish part of him seemed to surface, hesitant but honest, “It is your choice,” he added, the words heavy with implication.

You covered your face in your hands, wondering if you’d ever be able to breathe again. Two gloved hands tugged on your hands. Looking up, you could barely see Tech through the floodgate of tears. 

Tech reached up with a hand that, you knew, could never truly touch yours again. Yet, you felt it on your cheek brushing away the ceaseless tears. Tech's voice was gentle as he said, “But I am gone from the living world. And you... you have a choice to make: to stay lost in these memories, or to move forward.”

The pain was immense, squeezing your chest until you thought you might shatter. "How can I leave you, Tech? After everything?"

His hand still on yours, he squeezed. “I am quite aware of your strength. You are one of the strongest people I have ever known.” His head tilted in a strangely confident way. It almost made you smile. “Besides, seeing as how I am not going anywhere, you would not be leaving me.”

He stood, drawing your attention upward as he rose. Taking a step back, he gently pulled on your hand, guiding you out of the chair.

Tech stood before you, still holding your hand in the space between you, his expression adorned with a proud smile. "You will always be fascinating," he declared. Then, with a gentle tug at your waist, he drew you close to him.

The sturdiness of his presence was undeniable. You swept your hand up his neck, feeling him solid beneath your touch. You felt him there, could even smell him—every detail vivid, every memory of him acute. You missed everything about him.

“I’d like to ask you something,” he said, his gaze shifting between your eyes, a keen observer eager to capture every nuance of your reaction.

Your voice, barely a whisper, surprised you. “Yes?” When had your tears ceased?

He leaned in closer, his presence enveloping, his eyes searching yours for the truths they held. “Do you regret joining Clone Force 99?”

You took a sharp inhale, your hand instinctively tightening around his neck. “Never.”

“Do you regret knowing me?”

“Tech.” You hissed in final warning. “Now is not the time to make me mad.”

Tech hummed victoriously. “I’m merely gathering evidence to prove my theory.”

“What theory?”

“Why the right choice is to move on.” Tech chuckled as he gently started to sway with you. “Though you will find it difficult to forget my extraordinary mind.”

His quips, his humorous arrogance, tugged at your heart, making your lip quiver. Tech slowed for a moment, his gaze searching your face, unsure if you were on the brink of tears or laughter.

You expected a laugh to taste of ash, but when it came, it didn’t feel so wrong. “How could I ever forget?”

Tech’s eyes widened as he watched a smile spread across your lips. The sight seemed to delight him, a glimmer of his affectionate pride shining through.

He considered asking you to linger; he knew he’d never tire of your company. He’d be content to spend eternity with you. Yet, as he began to sway with you once more, a different thought took precedence.

He cleared his throat and said, “Then it is obvious. Remember me if you want, but you must carry on.” He ducked closer, resting his forehead on yours. "But I quite like the idea of you smiling whenever you think of me, for the rest of your life."

Tech brushed his lips against yours before pressing in with a kiss. 

You felt a tremor in your hand, but his steady grip stilled you. “Tech, I’ve missed you so much.”

"I know, and I you," he replied. "But death is a part of life, an unavoidable end. And my end…” Tech sighed and continued. “Was my choice." 

He pulled away, his hands shifting to your shoulders. “Now, you have a choice.”

You touched his hands, attempting a wobbly smile. “What would I do without you?”

Tech gazed into your eyes, his expression resolved. "You will live," he said. "You'll thrive, because that's what you do now. You adapt, you overcome."

He paused, a smile tingling at the corners of his mouth. "Make new memories, ones that I'd be proud to be a part of in spirit. Remember me often."

His touch lingered a moment longer before he slowly stepped back, "And since I am not going anywhere.” He adjusted his goggles and smirked. “It falls to you to keep the others safe, they certainly need it.” 

With a final nod, Tech turned slightly, indicating that your time together was nearing its natural conclusion, not because he was vanishing, but because you were ready. "You’re more capable than you realize. Trust in that. And when you need to, trust that I'm still here, in the memories you carry and the decisions you make."

He tipped two fingers at you. In a final quip he said, “But do remember me often.”

[montimer]

Could you write a Joker x reader where the Joker tells her that he loves her, but she hesitantly admits that she isn’t sure she believes him because she isn’t sure if he is capable of love?

I don't do female reader so i made it gender neutral!

Joker x reader

Warning: kidnapping,yandere

You woke up in an empty dark room. You felt somewhat dizzy.

As you tried to move, you noticed that a rope was keeping you from standing up. You began struggling.

But gave up. Too tired and stressed you looked around for any escape or tool instead.

There was a door infront of you, a window on the right, but it was locked down with sticks of wood. Other than that the room was empty.

You tried remembering what had happened before you got here.

'Okay i was walking at night, on my way to home after shopping' then darkness.

No matter how hard you tried remembering, thats all your mind could make up. Where you kidnapped? Pulled away from an alley and drugged? But why?

You considered calling out but thinking it over, its best not to get the persons attention. If you call for help they will surely hear it sooner than anyone else.

You began to panic. 'I have to get out of here'. You were scared, you struggled again. Moving as you tried to free yourself from the ropes. The chair you were roped to began to creak.

A big mistake you made there.

You heard footsteps and you stopped immediately. The door opened slowly revealing your kidnapper.

Your eyes widened in horror. You were in the same room as the madman whos known for a not so nice nature. The joker

He tilted his head then begin to smile. He came closer to you.

You didn't wanted to look in his eyes, it was too much just being here. You didn't wanna know what he was gonna do to you.

"You awake? Im glad, you almost got me worried there my dear!"

Huh?

You were still looking down.

He gently grabbed your chin to make you look at him.

"C'mon don't be shy, lemme see that pretty face of yours!"

You stared at him confused.

He giggled at your expression.

"Oh how adorable you are!"

He let go and you kept looking at him.

"Good good. Now, im sorry for that" he pointed at the ropes around you.

"But ya know, i have to make sure you're safe and sound. Can't let ya run around the place at this state! Silly, you might hurt yourself. Poor darling, you look like a lost mouse!" He gave you a sad look. You were so distracted and surprised you almost forgot how to speak.

You tried to make out words but only mumblings came out.

He gave you a surprised look.

"What is it darling? Say it, i don't bite"

You doubted that, but you tried your best to collect yourself.

"Wh-why am i here? What are y-you gonna do to me?" You hated how desperate you sounded. You hated all of this.

"Ohh, right right. Cutting to the chase huh? Well, you are here cuz i had to take you away. To a place where you can feel safe. To me"

This is the last place you'd feel safe in.

"And for the second question of yours. I am not gonna do anything to harm you. I could never! I mean, i could never harm you. Can't say that for the others" he laughed a bit before turning his attention back to you.

"Good enough for an answer?" He smiled at you.

No not really

"I still don't understand..what do you mean"

He blinked at you. As if you're suppose to know why you are here.

"Why, why me?" You started to feel impatient

"Why you? Oh y/n, for many reasons."

He knew your name? No way..

"You don't know me.."

"But of course i do! I have been watching you, for a long time now. I know everything about you. Your address, your favourite places, the place you work in, what you wear, what you like, everything! Your age and the colour of your eyes too. Its nice to see it up close!"

He leaned in, taking his time staring into your eyes, then backed up with a pleased smile.

"I have been waiting so long to finally have you!"

"Have me? What are you talking about, i don't get any of this.."

"Still? Even after the flowers i sent you"

Flowers? The flowers that was left at your doorstep?

"..and the letters.."

The romantic sounding letters that came with them? Sometimes they did sounded creepy..

"..the chocolate and the plush? I mean i hope you got all of them, or else one of my goons gets a lecture. A life time lasting one"

You ignored the last part, but you did remember all this. The box even said 'from your one and only- J ;)'

Oh, oh no

"It, it was you-"

He clapped his hands

"Yes! Im so happy you figured it out! Did you keep them? What kind of question is this, of course you did!" He began to laugh once again.

"I did that all for one reason. That is because, i love you."

Your mind was dizzy again. He must be joking, there is no way in hell..

He started pointing out the things he loves about you. How does he knows all this, how long have he been stalking you? You didn't even listen to him anymore, your head hurt. You didn't wanted to look at him, instead you looked down in defeat.

When he stopped talking, you slowly looked up.

"There that's better" he petted your head.

"Even if you don't get it yet. You'll understand sooner or later, you'll realise that we were ment to be! Like sun and moon, one can't live without the other!"

"Is this a joke?"

He seemed shocked by that

"Come again?"

"I-i can't belive all this..I don't belive you, why would you love me? Are you even capable of loving anyone but yourself?" You said that without thinking. You immediately regretted it.

He stopped smiling. He had a look of disbelief and confusion on his face.

"What makes you think that?"

"I mean, like you used Harley-"

"But you're not Harley"

You tried to slip lower as he came closer.

"You're you. And that is why i love you. Ya know, im not mad at ya, not at all. Im mad at the people who had feed such horrible thoughts into your head. And if i have to prove you that i can love, then i will."

'I belive it when i see it' you thought. But for now your situation seemed hopeless. So you just kept staring at him, his green eyes burning into yours.

His face didn't look so serious anymore. Suddenly he hugged your form then left a kiss on your face.

He looked pleased at the mark that his lipstick left.

He got up and walked to the door.

"This is just the start, at the end you'll be head over heels for me! I can feel it! For now rest a little darling. Oh and don't even think about escaping, you wouldn't want me to catch you again? I'll be back soon, promise!" He waved his hand and blow a kiss your way.

He closed the door, now you can be alone with your thoughts. In an empty room with no escape or help to come. With a crazy clown obsessed with you. Does he really mean that?

[mauswrites]

Fear (Simon Riley x AFAB!GN!Reader)

A/N: I was recently reminded of my worst fear, that being cryptic pregnancy (No weight gain, no symptoms, no nothing. You don't know about the baby until it's on its way out) and can't stop thinking about it, so I decided to write a fic to get it out of my system. (sorry if this sucks, this is the first fic I've published in like almost a decade)

Genre: hurt/comfort

TW: Blood, mentions of childbirth, medical inaccuracies, possibly OOC Ghost, reader genuinely thinks they're dying

You couldn't sleep.

Not because of the thoughts racing in your mind but of the unbearable pain in your abdomen.

Occam's razor would tell you that it was just your period, but you've never experienced cramps like this before, like being torn in half.

With a huff, you shove the blanket off your body and get up, but as soon as your feet hit the floor, pain shoots up your spine, causing you to crumple to the floor, wailing out in agony. You clutch your stomach, forcing air in and out of your lungs.

Why am I wet? you thought.

The pain had distracted you until now, but you managed to reach for your bedside lamp to see blood running down your legs.

A lot of it, too.

As the fear settled in your bones, you hurry to get your phone and call for an ambulance.

"999, what's your emergency?"

"I don't know what's wrong, I'm in a lot of pain, I can't stop bleeding... I-I can't walk."

"Where are you now?"

You give the address to your flat and hang up when the dispatcher assures you that the ambulance isn't far.

Walking may seem impossible, but you manage to crawl to the front door to unlock it, sitting down in the hall, waiting.

Desperation clings to your heart, and you make one more call, this time to your ex-boyfriend, but it went straight to voicemail.

"Simon? Hey, it's me... I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For my attitude, the arguments, all of it."

The blood loss is getting to you, but you take a ragged breath and press on.

"I think I'm dying, an ambulance is on their way, but–"

The pain spikes suddenly, causing you to scream.

"In case I do, just know that I love you."

Hearing sirens from outside, you hang up and wait, dreading the black spots in your vision.

The ambulance ride is a blur, the EMT asking questions that your brain isn't processing, and you barely remember being put under at the hospital.

As your eyes flutter open hours later, sunlight leaks into the room through the blinds, and your stomach is sore, but you otherwise feel better.

A nurse is still in the room, typing away on the computer in your room.

"What happened?"

She seemed startled yet relieved at your voice, still groggy from sleep.

"This may come as a shock to you,"

Uh oh.

"But you experienced what's called a cryptic pregnancy and needed to undergo an emergency C-section. The bleeding was caused by a tear in your uterine lining, but you'll recover just fine."

Her diagnosis hit you like a brick to the face.

"So... I had a baby?"

"Yes, a little girl; a bit premature, but otherwise healthy."

You merely hum in acknowledgement as you look around the room, your eyes landing on the bassinet.

"Would you like to hold her?" the nurse asked.

"I... yes."

She smiles as she walks around the bed, picking up your daughter and passing her to you.

A lump forms in your throat as you lock eyes with the infant in your arms, hers a deep brown.

"Um... hello," you say, "it's nice to meet you."

As you fall silent, the nurse pipes up once again.

"I'll leave you two be for now. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call for someone."

You quickly thank her before she leaves, closing the door behind her, and you quickly turn your attention back to your daughter.

Your heart and mind were both racing as you admired her, even softly speaking to her every so often. For seconds or hours, you're not quite sure, but you only snapped out of your trance when the door opened.

You watch as Simon comes in and pulls up a chair next to your hospital bed, on the same side as the bassinet, all without a word.

"I'm guessing they wouldn't let you in looking like the Grim Reaper," you joked, taking note of the black surgical mask on his face, "How've you been?"

"I should be asking you," he said, "that voicemail scared the shit outta me."

"I've been..."

What do you even say?

"Honestly, not great; missed you like hell," you admit, casting your eyes back down to your baby and letting her tiny hand grip onto one of your fingers, "but I think I'll be okay."

"Cute little thing," he said, referring to your little girl.

"Thanks, I made it myself."

"Got a name yet?"

"Haven't exactly had much time to think of one," you reply, "got any ideas?"

"You told me you always liked the name Emilia."

"That's true. Seems it's settled then," you do your best to straighten up, "Simon, meet Emilia... Riley?"

"Riley," he confirmed, making you smile for the first time in a while.

"Do you want to hold her?"

He nodded, and you placed a kiss on her forehead before passing her over to him.

She already looked tiny in your arms, but compared to Simon's much bigger frame, she was damn near microscopic. He was practically holding her with just his hands, handling her delicately, like one wrong move would cause her to fall apart.

"What d'you say you come back home," he said, "We try again, be a family."

"Is that actually what you want? I don't want to be the parents that are only together for our child's sake."

"I mean it."

"That's good," you pause, fighting back tears, "Promise I won't be such a bitch this time 'round."

"You say that like I was a saint."

"Then we'll both be better, for each other and for her."

"Deal."

You silently admire the scene before you for a few minutes until the nurse from earlier returns.

She asked some questions about you and the baby, filled in some blanks on the birth certificate, and stepped out to bring you some ice water, leaving you to think about the past twelve hours.

"I'm honestly dreading going back to my flat." you thought aloud.

"Why?" Simon asked. He carefully placed Emilia back in the bassinet, giving you his full attention.

"There's blood everywhere."

"I'll take care of it; you just rest up and heal," he stood as he spoke, taking off his mask to kiss your temple, but before he had a chance to walk away, you placed a hand on his shoulder, urging him to stay.

"Promise you'll come back?"

"Promise."

As he left, the weight of the situation settled deep in your bones, but you found solace in knowing that you wouldn't have to face it alone, and that things would hopefully turn out better this time around.

[darlingofvalyria]

❝I have these two great friends called Birth and Control.❞

part 06 | it's called a love bug, lovebug

chapter summary:

[ Sunday dinners are actually made for confessions. As Alicent braves it with a wine and a blush, you brave it too. With a boy and a view. ]

[ 2,963 ] [ series masterlist ] |best friend's brother!aemond targaryen x f!reader, ft. cregan stark x f!reader & aemond targaryen x alys rivers,

contains— angst - hurt/minimal comfort(?) - no kings, no martyrs, no betas.

a/n— alexa play it's all coming back to me now by celine dion. it might read a little stilted, i struggled a bit with this chapter as i wrote it in different times. ps. i didn't translate aemond's valyrian with intention. hope it still works? comment, reblog & like at will, mwa ♡

You had never heard of a more reverbrating sound than Helaena's smack to a poor, traumatised Daeron. "You toe licking, armpit looking, ugly garbage can!" Healeana shrieked, promptly dragging her youngest brother further away as you and Aemond scurried deeper into the safety of the darkness and shame, folded defensively onto one another, laughing your asses off.

"Oh my god," you exhale. "I am never going leaving this maze. I am going to live here, eating brambles and shit, and die here. Leave me now and prevail, Aemond. I will be fine. I'll haunt you in two to three business days."

Aemond chuckles from below you, unseen from your gaze, the mesmerised adoration he held as he can still feel his lips tingling from your desperation, still feel the curves of your body, the soft skin— he clears his throat, holding you steady by your hips before moving around until he's hovering over you as you adjusted your dress, eyes fluttering his with pressed lips trying not to laugh.

"I have a feeling dinner is ready."

"I also have a feeling your mother and grandfather knew exactly what we were doing minutes before and I fear I'd rather die here than face that."

He laughs, offering his hand and you take it regardless. "Then my mother would be glad. She didn't exactly feel the new bliss of couples between us."

You scoff. "Only because you treated me like you were cosplaying a Frost Giant." At his raised eyebrow and choked, surprised laugh, you blush. "Oh, get off with it. Your sister really likes the idea of Jotun!Loki and I am not one to kinkshame."

He strangles a laugh, peeling stray twigs from your hair. "I wouldn't dare assume. Let's go eat."

You tighten your hold on his hand, worry crescent on your forehead that Aemond straightens. "And talk?" As good as that felt, as perfect as puzzles sliding in together, you were past the age where burrowing it deep with the good parts and ignoring the pressing talks that need to be addressed.

And Aemond deserved better than that at least.

"Okay." He nods, swallowing. "Later, please."

"Okay." You try and reassure him with a smile and that seems to appease him, if a little.

Once Aegon had made five jokes concerning Daeron's loud rant— he was promptly shut up by his sister smacking him in the back of the head as soon as their mother was fretting in the kitchen and their grandfather's phone pinging for his attention, spoon on his mouth that might have been a medical nightmare — dinner went smoothly.

Daeron had successfully refused to look at your general direction, or his brother, or both since you sat together, churlish in giggles, in chatter and light arguments. Aemond kept taking the nicely marinated baby potatoes on his plate to yours once you finished up your own, and exchanged it with shuffling green beans to his plate because he loves them— it's nice.

It's more than nice. It's everything you could hope for when you think about dinner with your boyfriend's family. It's a softened thought that brews to yearning. You want this. You want be sat next to Aemond like this again, making jokes, piling food onto each other's plate, ribbing with his brother until he blushed then standing up against him when it got too far— seeing the smile he sends your way, endearing, loving, and for a moment, for this one realised moment built on lies and chuckle-fuckery ease, you let yourself indulge.

You joke about spoon feeding him dessert and blush as he envelops his soft lips over the spoon, Daeron and Aegon mimicking gags while Alicent is blushing, unable to stop a girlish giggle, a sound so surprised to her own person that she hiccups.

You are with him and you give yourself strength to break his heart.

Dinner finishes off with a lazy flick, Alicent and his father descending into business talks that usually included Aemond and though you tell him you can go hang out with Helaena— Daeron and Aegon deciding on playing The Last of Us in the game room because Aegon said he needed a good cry but also to shoot things — Aemond who had taken your hand sometime ago and has been brushing his thumb over your knuckles in a soothing gesture, implores you with a look.

You swallow and give a nod, trying for another smile that fails, noticing the moment Aemond sees it fail, his brow curling, lips pursing but doesn't say anything.

As he moves to lead, he pauses, turning back to you. "Where—?"

"Your room?"

Just as he nods, Alicent's soft and embarrassed, "Keep the door open, please," pulls you both to a blushing stop.

Otto— and Helaena rifling through ice cream in the kitchen — crow simultaneous, "Alicent," and "Mom!" as Alicent raises both her hands, the wine in her right sloshing. Though she is pink-cheeked, she maintains eye contact with her son while Aemond is struggling.

"I know you're old and smart enough, young man, and you are such a lovely girl," Alicent says to you, "and I would no doubt adore the grandchildren you will provide me—"

"Oh my gods," you stifle your giggles as Aemond makes a discordant sound in the back of his throat, like a cat hacking a saw. Otto is laughing into his wine while Helaena is making gagging noises in the background.

"— but I hope to have them when Aemond's at least graduated, so that he can provide well for you." Alicent nods, blinking. You can tell that the wine is catching up to her. "He's a good boy so I'm sure he'll do right by you. But I at least want you both to be married, of course, I would prefer if Aegon or Helaena got married first but—"

"— and that's my cue to stage left, folks," Helaena says, making a face as she grabs the entire tub of cookies and cream. "If anyone needs me, I'm in my room trying to find a husband so my baby brother can get married, gods forbid he carries on with bastards from his beautiful girlfriend— whomst, by the way, is my best friend, dunno how we're forgetting my credit in all of this."

Aemond shakes his head. "They're not sleeping here, mom, and providing you grandchildren is not in my agenda." He tugs your hand, smirking as he pulls you close only to whisper playfully, "Not tonight at least."

You shiver, laughing under your breath. "I dunno if you know this, but I have these two great friends called Birth and Control."

He breaks into a laugh and that, at least, eases the tension until you round up in his room, trying to give Helaena a meaningful look but you don't think she understands it with how she salutes you with her spoon, winking audaciously.

"Here." Aemond flicks the light on and his childhood bedroom brings a smile to your face. It's cerebral, the faint blue of his textured wallpaper, the perfectly lined books, even the framed achievements. But there's also the Oasis poster, the little figurines that you know is part of some Old Valyrian battle replica he collected when he was younger, even his old fencing gear and an exact photo of it alongside his club master, his grandfather, and family friend, Criston Cole.

"It's been a while since I've been here," you tease lightly. "It's kind of funny of your mom to think I'd be the first hot girl to christen your childhood bed."

He hums, turning away as he closes the door. When he turns back, he's rolled back his bottom lip between his teeth as he looks at you with sincerity.

"It wouldn't be much of a competition to beat. You were the first hot girl I'd ever got inside my room."

"Ahh. Right. Teasing you before your growth spurt was the highlight of my week."

Aemond let out an aggressive sigh as you laugh. "I was a senior in high school when I met you, riña, this is getting ridiculous. Borderline paedophilic since I had you moaning an hour ago."

You heave, slapping his arm. "Okay, stop, you made it weird now. Gross. Eugh."

"Promise you'll stop now?"

"Fine, I promise."

An awkwardness settles before Aemond nods at the double French doors. "Wanna talk on the patio? You've always liked my room's view than Lae's."

"Yeah," you grin.  "'Cos you got the only view of the lake."

"You can barely see it with the trees. And this darkness." Reason out all he wants, but he opens the door for you, and the cool air is crisp and nice against your warm skin.

You hold out on the ledge, squinting your eyes so you can see peeks of luminous bounce of the calm lake between dark sways of forest. Once in a while, it glitters and glimmers, making itself known.

"It isn't fully true though."

"What is?" Aemond fixes his elbows, warmth pressed against yours as he stares at a fixed point of nowhere. But you can feel his tension, feel his questions he's trying to be patient to keep in. You're glad for it. Grateful. Because it gives you enough courage to confess.

"I hung out in your room because I liked hanging out with you," you admit. "Teasing you was the highlight of my day."

"Gee. Thanks."

"I was more surprised you kept letting me hang out with you when I did nothing but annoy you."

"Why do you think that is, ñuha riña?" he asks softly.

"Because you're sweet?"

The way he's looking at you... it makes you breatheless. Especially when he moves to turn fully toward you, taking you by your elbows, and you close your eyes when he leans in expecting his mouth on you, your heart dancing in the palm of his hand because it feels so, so easy to trust Aemond with it, instead he presses his lips underneath your eye, nuzzling against your nose. It shatters and remakes your heart, making you hold onto his shirt for some semblance of comfort.

"Because I've always liked you," he whispers against your skin as if it's his best kept secret. "Because I'm weak when it comes to you. Because you," he breathes against your mouth, taking your bottom lip between his teeth and giving it a tug, "make it easy to want you."

A weak laugh escapes your lips and his mouth follows the sound as if he wants to swallow it, but you press a palm to his chest. He growls.

"Easy there, tiger, that didn't sound much like a compliment."

He pulls back, holding your face. "Sorry, shit, I didn't mean— I'm not good at this. I meant... you're unattainable. Not just as Helaena's best friend but... you're cool, you're fucking gorgeous and incredibly hilarious."

"Ñuha jorrāelagon." He breathes care into the word. The word is lost on me and I force my brain to pocket it like a love letter so I can search it up. "I never thought I could be here, touching you like this." Without warning, he moulds his lips to yours in a harsh, deep kiss. It's quick but it leaves you breathless, his voice coming up ragged. "Kiss you like this. It feels like I'm in a dream and I'm struggling to let go of it. So a while ago... after..."

You nod, pressing your forehead against his, unable to look at him in the eye. You focus on touching him, your hands sliding down, making him shiver when you go underneath his shirt, skating his side until you warm your cool fingers with his spine.

"That's the thing, Aemy," you whisper. "In your head, by your words, I'm always a version to you."

 He calls your name, leaning back and you're forced to see the confusion on his face.

"Helaena's best friend. Past that, an unattainable crush. Now a fake girlfriend. Someone you use to get Alys' attention, and who better than the unattainable crush? It's a pedestal, Aemy."

"It's not like that, that was a bad, convoluted—"

"But it's the truth, it's how I feel. And though that sucks, I understand." You take his hands as you step back and he's frowning harder, the lines deepen and his jaw is tight. "I knew what I was getting into, you know? But things change because I've changed."

 "It's Cregan, isn't it?" he snarls, tugging his hands away.

"Oh, you jealous idiot, it's you! We've gone over this, you incredible dumbass!"

"Me? How the hell is this about—"

"— because I love you!" you shout. Then stop, inhale. Blink. Aemond copies it. It's almost hilarious. "Or I know I can be."

He works his jaw, turning away. "I don't understand."

"Okay, here it is." You inhale. "Just listen and breathe for a second, okay? Okay? Don't turn away from me." You pull him back by his chin, smiling faintly at the pout you form. "Say you understand."

He sighs, taking your hand. "Yes, I understand."

"I can't compete with someone you've loved for so long," you start softly, staring at your conjoined hands wondering if this is the last time you'll get to hold him like this. "Without you showing you can love me for more than that. I can't compete with your own ideal happy ending if I'm not part of it. I won't. I refuse." Your smile is wry, it's heartbreak and it's strings. You wish you had the energy to scream, to act like a brat and demand his heart, his promises in gold-ink and pink-veined hue. It's what your heart wants.

But you're of big age. You've seen love in its spaces, how it takes root in people, how it affects the world around you.

And you know you cannot love him if he does not make the effort to love you in the same way.

Your heart is in your throat but the words come out anyway. "Because I love you, Aemy. And I know I can fight for you. I can fight for what we have. I can wake up tomorrow and choose to love you with the same degree, if not fiercer, if I could. And I could do that again and again. That's how love works. You have to wake up tomorrow, see me, and choose to love me all over again."

You smile gently, sadly. "I can't allow myself to be loved in halves. I've done that before, I'm not doing it again. Not even for you."

You bring yourself on your tip toes— damn tall, beautiful rat bastard — and brush your lips on the corner of his. His eye closed. "I'm not going to pressure you for an answer. Alys was... Alys is a big part of what you know is love, and I respect that. I understand that it'll be hard, but I need to know if you're willing to let go of it for me. Because I can promise you I can love you. But I won't. Not without assurance that you can try for me."

"What are you asking me?" he asks softly, straightening. There's a hard line going into his body, like a dutiful student given an assignment.

"I'm asking you to think if you can see past the little statue you've made of me. See me breathing. Alive, just like this." You press a hand to his face and retrieve it back before he can hold it. He shots you a look of betrayal. "I'm going home with Hel. You know how to message me, okay? Bye, dōna zaldrīzes."sweet dragon.

His eye flick upward, shock and heartbreak and confusion moulds and twists into such a beautiful blue, mouth agape trying to find words he can't find— and you smile wryly, turning away and leaving.

You get to Helaena's door quick, knocking soon after.

"Hmph!"

 "You're either getting choked by a robber or masturbating, and really Hel, I need you to make two grunts to tell me the former so I can bust down the door because I don't want to see you bust a—"

The door swings wide, Helaena's face in a comical irritation.

"That is so fucked up, I hope you know— hey, hey." Her irritation sweeps into a frown as you fail to contain your watery eyes. "What happened? What's wrong? What did Aemond do? Oh, that little twerp—"

"— it's not him, it's not him, chill, I just wanna go home, yeah? Get our cakes and go, please?"

Hel's frown deepens, eyes darting back to Aemond's door.

"Please, Helaena," you beg. "I'll tell you when we get home. I'll make us special drinks."

She takes your hand, determination wound tight with concern. "Sure thing, babe. Let's go."

When you make your hasty departure to her grandfather of all of them, Alicent already in bed and the other boys still in the gaming room, cakes in hand, you tow over Helaena's baby blue buggy— she leans over at you with a hand on the ignition, whispering as if she was afraid, "You— are you meeting Cregan tonight? After, I mean." Her eyes widen. "I'm not judging, I'd never—"

"No, no, I understand. You'd never judge me for that, I know. But no. Just you and me tonight."

She smiles softly. It's not like Aemond's but they don't look that apart that it still stings. "Love you."

"Love you too, lovebug."

Loving Helaena isn't hard.

Just as you know loving Aemond wouldn't be, despite it all. But it isn't you that has issues that needs handling, and you've put everything in his court now.

And yet you can't deny your hope.

TAGGED: @snowprincesa1 @gemini-mama @fan-goddess @snh96 @valeskafics @opheliaas-stuff @tempo-rary-fix @fantasticpeaceharmony @diannnnsss @iamavailablesstuff @spinachtz @at-a-rax-ia @bespinnn @tsujifreya @moonlightfoxx @kemillyfreitas @joyouart @bananzaa @honey-on-mars @alexa4040 @cinnamonbambii @wintrr13 @wxb-slingrr @astroswift @queenofshinigamis @helaenaluvr @kaetastic @jxdgodfrey @laniii-on-your-left @watercolorskyy @microwaveallthedemons @kazuyatokue @herfantastyworldd @averyyreads @urmomsgirlfriend1 @bellstwd @jiminie-08 @ttkttt @nockerin @backyardfolklore @random-ocity @hc-geralt-23 @vendettasblog @cicaspair418 @malynn @anehkael @schadenfreude-and-sarcasm @honey132

[stormblessed95]

"Who" is amazing. I love everything about the song, lyrics, MV. And about the lyrics and the whole concept of the album to me is clear that He was looking for his girl and He has already found her and I think is that "attention seeker" of actress. She was too brave months ago maybe because she has his permission. The problem with some fans are the stereotypes. A lot of this fandom think he is bi or gay only because his looks, they are a mixed of masculine and femenine. People have to remember that men are not a monolite.

Okay, the Only part I'm going to really address is the end here. And just a quick reminder. I'm glad you are loving who, and your opinions over Jimin are your own and totally fine. But so are mine, when I say I think he is queer. Even if he personally wrote those lyrics and came out in an interview afterwards saying that he desperately wanted a wife, it would not change everything that Jimin has said and done that indicate he is queer.

He can fall in love with a girl, marry her, and have kids with her in the future and STILL be queer. You are stereotyping him way more than I, or his other queer fans, am.

I don't think he is queer because he is androgynous. I think he is extra beautiful because of that and I think he is SOOOOO *gender* because of that. The gender envy is through the roof with both him and JK sometimes. (And no, I don't actually want to examine that for myself any further, thanks). You could do well to remember that queer people aren't a monolith* honestly.

Jimin did not paint the bigender symbol on himself for a photoshoot for me to be told that the only reason fans think he is queer are stereotyping his androgynous looks. Which is something he also leans into himself too. You are free to check out this part of my masterlist if you'd like. And no it's not about shipping, it's all posts about Jimin and why I think he is part of the LGBTQ+ community, including the fact that I think he also likes women too.

I'll also just add in here, I don't think he was ever dating Daeun. Rumors will always rumor, but those never seemed to have any actual substance. And again, even if he was or did date her, or any other woman, wouldn't change my mind over thinking he is queer. Personally, if I had to guess, I would guess he is Bi. Which includes women!! Your sexuality doesn't change based on your relationship status.

Hope you are willing to take these thoughts into consideration in the future. This isn't me trying to change your mind at all, just give you more to think about in terms of why people feel the way that they do about this topic.

[lovingperfectionsblog]

What Must Be Done.

Major Trigger warnings guys!! Please read the before the story!!

Plantonic!Pierre Gasly x Reader, Platonic!Charles Lecerlc x Reader (although there are feelings between you and Charles)

Summary: Your friends discover you have relapsed and have begun to self-mutilate again.

Warnings: Major trigger warnings, mentions of self-harm, depression, suicidal ideation, cutting, scarring, blood.

 Word Count: 2660

Authors note: My loves, once again, I am at no point romanticizing self harm. Please take note of your mental health at any point you consider reading media like this and please know you are so deeply loved and so enough and there are always options for help, please seek treatment and help if you or someone you know is suffering <3 

I opted to not address reasons for self harm, because every single person who suffers has different reasons, so instead I focused on how deeply this actually affects everyone, and to bring attention to the fact that you are loved and you deserve to feel good because so many people actually do love and care for you and want to see you healthy and better. I hope it is okay and you all like it <3 

______

Dropping your guard was not the right thing to do. It wasn’t them that had let up, they had just stopped verbally asking you how you were. They were still watching you like a hawk. Eye’s still flitting down to any available skin their gaze could reach. Months later and still constantly monitoring you, without you even noticing.

So when you all had gone down to the gym one evening, always dedicated to your sport, you hadn’t thought twice about shoving the sleeves of your top up in an attempt to beat the heat.

As if on instinct, both Charles and Pierres eyes ran down your arm, fully expecting to see the same scars that had finally healed over, both pain and pride filling their hearts whenever they caught a glimpse of them. Pain that they existed, pride that you had beat it. What they had grown used to seeing and feeling.

What they hadn’t expected to see were the fresh cuts that suddenly adorned your inner arms. A new wave of emotion they had been thanking God they had yet to feel, knowing they might, but never fully expecting the way it would slam into them, driving the breath from their lungs the second they did.

Dread.

One would expect it to be fear, but ever since they had found out that this was what you had struggled with, the fear had nestled its way into their very being, and latched itself on, never to leave them again. They would no longer know an existence without fear when it came to you. A fear that this would happen again, a fear that you couldn’t beat it again, a fear that they would have to watch you lose all that you were again and most importantly, a fear that they would lose you for good.

But dread? Dread was new.

The dread existed because of a promise they had made to you the night you had promised you’d fight to beat this and they in turn had promised they would do everything they could to help you in any way you had needed.

The promise to make sure you were benched from your team to receive treatment is a part of it. The dread of what they would now have to do claiming its spot right next to the fear.

Your name left Charles lips as a defeated sigh, turning to look at him as he ran his hands through his hair, face cast down, Pierre’s eyes never leaving your wrists.

There was no malice or disappointment in the look, nor in Charles' voice. Only dread and fear.

And suddenly it seeped off of you too. 

“This isn’t what you’re thinking” frantically pulling your sleeves down, you desperately began an attempt at an explanation of what they had seen. 

“Then what is it exactly?” Pierre decided to take control of the conversation. Although both invested in your health, Charles had always been a little more emotional when it came to you, too protective, unable to think clearly and always letting his emotions get the best of him.. Whereas Pierre, he could think logically, he could take charge and do what needed to be done, knowing that both him and Charles were about to be the bad guys, and if that’s what they needed to be, then he’d happily be the worst of the lot. Anything to keep you safe. 

You stood, Pierre’s eyes now boring into yours and Charles unable to leave the floor. 

Charles is unable to face you at all. 

And as you stood there trying to come up with a reason for what this was, you came to nothing, only focused on how they were disgusted in you, how they hated you for breaking your promise, how disappointed they were in you. 

How Charles could never like you now. 

How, if they had decided to keep to their promise, you were about to lose your job. 

They wouldn’t really do that to you, would they? They would never. 

And still you could come up with nothing other than, 

“It was one bad day” 

You flinched as the water bottle hit the wall. Both Pierre and yourself staring at Charles retreating back as he grabbed his towel, storming out of the gym. You didn’t know what to do. Do you run after him? Do you stay? do you crawl back to your own room, tail between your legs, aware that you’d finally fucked up enough to make him hate you? 

Of course you had fucked up this badly. There was no other outcome for you. You were always going to fuck it up. You ruined everything, so you weren’t surprised you’d ruined this too. 

“You promised” it was all Pierre had said as he began gathering up both of your belongings, cutting your gym session short, both of you well aware that the plans for your day had changed in a matter of minutes. You know, because they found out that you’d fucked up, again. 

“I know” you sighed as you followed Pierre, well aware of what was going to happen now. It was the same routine for a long time, until they thought you had gotten better, but now, “You don’t have to check my room”. 

“You promised” Pierre hadn't turned to look back at you once as you made your way through the hotel and up to your room, “You promised and you lied and now we can’t trust you” he had finally come to a stop outside of your room, hand outstretched, waiting for you to place the room card in it so he could get inside and begin ripping your room apart, searching for anything that you could possibly use to cause further harm. 

“Did you ever trust me after the first time?” you let out a dry chuckle, a poor attempt at diffusing the situation, earning the exact response you had expected from him as he moved to drop your suitcase on your bed in order to start the meticulous search. 

“No, but we gave you the benefit of the doubt, and we’re the ones who are going to have to live with that” you recoiled at the words. How had he been so nonchalant whilst being so cruel, barely even glancing back at you as he said it, only rifling through your clothes. 

“That was unfair” you whispered out, so soft you were sure he hadn’t even heard, his posture stiffening indicating otherwise, and the onslaught of words streaming out of him a second later a confirmation he had heard exactly what you’d said. 

“I was unfair? Me? You’ve actually got to be kidding. What’s unfair is the fact that for the next few hours I have to go through every item of clothing and luggage and toiletry bag and every nook and fucking cranny of this godforsaken hotel room looking for anything that you could fucking use to hurt yourself, again, because you can’t keep a promise. What’s unfair is the fact that one of my best friends is literally harming herself and I have to witness it. What’s fucking unfair is the fact that now, I have to live with that fear again and anxiety and I’m not going to be able to sleep because I have to live with the fact that I didn’t push for you to see someone the first time we caught you pulling this shit and I simply took your word that you’d stop and that it wasn’t all that serious and now that’s on me. Do you get that? I am terrified that you’re going to kill yourself and I have to live with the fact that it’s all on me. So yeah, maybe I was unfair, but I think I may be allowed to be. And you’re the last person who is allowed to call me out on it.” His chest was heaving by the end of it, his knuckles white as he gripped the shirt he was holding, a poor attempt to keep himself calm, and when he noticed you weren’t going to fight him on it, he simply turned back around to continue the well practiced routine of searching your stuff. 

_____

The second Charles had opened the door, you’d stormed into his room, eyes red from tears that had now refused to surface as you stood in front of your two friends. 

“You got me suspended” was all you’d said to them and they both felt their stomach drop the second they’d heard you say it. Neither knew what to say in response, because yeah, they had, quite frankly, they’d pushed for it, not that it took much to convince Toto that this was the best course of action, and their lack of response only made you more angry, “YOU GOT ME FUCKING SUSPENDED!”

Charles thought he was going to be sick, he knew you were going to be angry, but he hadn’t expected to feel so distraught at your anger, he’d thought you’d understand it all. 

“Of course we did, we keep our promises” was the only explanation that Pierre offered, once again having to take the reins, knowing that when it came to you, Charles wasn’t capable of much if he wanted to keep himself under control. 

Truthfully, Pierre didn’t blame him. He understood that here he was going to have to be the bad guy, because if Charles had to, then his friend was never going to recover from it and Pierre could only focus on one of you at the time and Charles being in love was nothing compared to what you were currently going through. 

“There were better ways to go about this and you know it” you were directing all your anger at Pierre now, both of you acting as if Charles wasn’t even in the room. 

“Like what? Hear you promise that you’d stop and it wasn’t that serious?” Pierre repeated the words you’d told him the last time you three had this conversation, throwing every single one of them back in your face. 

“It isn’t that serious!” you were absolutely seething, completely unaware of what the boys had gone through to make sure this entire process was going to be as easy on you as possibly whilst keeping you as safe as possible. 

“What the fuck do you mean it isn’t that serious?” Charles had finally spoken up, a look of pure rage etched on his face, one to even rival your own. 

“I mean, it’s not that ser-” 

“IT’S FUCKING EERYTHING!” even Pierre had startled at Charles outburst, knowing that this was destroying Charles, but never expecting him to show you just how much. “It’s fucking everything”. 

A thick silence seeped into the entire room, neither you nor Pierre wanting to break the silence out of fear and Charles just trying to quiet his mind down enough to formulate a decent thought. 

“It’s everything because you are everything and to you it’s nothing because it was simply one bad day and now you’ve got a few fresh cuts on your arm, but what happens when that one bad day is behind the wheel? Because you see, the thing is, my bad day isn’t that serious, because on my bad day, I might just be angry or have a cry and watch some shitty serious to make myself feel better, but your bad day, I might lose you forever. So yeah, to you it’s not that serious because fuck, your days bad enough and then suddenly it’s not really a you problem anymore, but to me, its everything because I lose everything” Charles was so clinical he was even scaring Pierre. 

The comment stopped you in your tracks, because yeah, even you were slightly nervous about that day, but you sure as hell weren’t going to admit that, not to them, because if you didn’t say it, it wasn’t real. In truth there was a lot you didn’t want to admit, most of all your feelings towards the man standing in front of you, or the feelings that drove you to all of this or even how you’re surprised anyone even cares at all, so you settle for something that feels slightly safe, a segway, maybe a way that you’d eventually be able to talk about it all with the two closest people to you, despite your fears. 

“You embarrassed me.” Pierre let out a laugh, not that he found anything funny, not by a long shot, but more so that out of everything, this is what worried you. 

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, you know that right?” the look in your eyes confirmed that no, you did in fact not know that, “Jesus, there is nothing to be embarrassed by, you’re sick, that’s it, you’re sick and you just need some help getting better. It’s like, when you break your leg, you see a doctor and you allow yourself time to heal and you work at the physio and you let your friends help you and visit you in hospital, but you put in the work to heal and get better and walk again, it’s exactly the same, you’re sick, and we just want to help you get better.” Pierre prayed that he was getting through to you, after the first time, he had thrown himself into educating himself as much as he could in order to help you in any way he could, and this had stuck with him, that you were just sick and being sick is okay, but you had to work to get better. 

“What if I do all this work and then ruin it all again?” your voice was so small and Charles was sure his heart was about to break at the sight. 

“Then you ruin it all again, and we help you pick up the pieces all over again and we get you better, but we need you to try, please, fuck, we need you to try.” Charles was now standing directly in front of you, fighting every urge to just grab you and hold you close, wanting to take every single ounce of whatever burden you were holding off of your shoulders. 

“Toto said Mick was going to take my spot, and if a reserve is needed, Danny is going to fill in” you needed to somehow move away from this topic, heart aching to the point of break, changing to the only other thing you could think of. 

“And you?” Pierre knew you and Toto probably had discussed a plan of action revolving around your recovery too. 

“Benched, media duties, but he’s going to be sorting out an intensive therapy regime for me, or something like that, get the best of the best to help” you’d dumbed the process down significantly, but that was the jist of it all, “I have to go, Toto had to run to a meeting, but I’ve got to meet with PR now, sort everything out from that side, I’ll see you both at dinner.” You’d made your way out the room, both boys' eyes never leaving you, and subsequently the door once you had shut it behind you after a chorus of goodbyes followed you out. 

“You can’t make a move while she’s healing, you know that right?” Pierre knew Charles knew, but he needed him to make sure that Pierre was going to do everything to make sure your recovery was the only thing you would be focusing on for now, no boys, no racing, nothing other than your mental health. 

“I’ll wait, I’ve waited for years and I’ll wait for more, her health is the number one priority” Charles felt his friend give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, letting him know that he was aware of how difficult this all was, “I’ll wait.” and he would, for the rest of his life if he had to, but he’d wait, because you were everything. 

[grimnisdottir]

Inspired by the many arranged marriages to seal a treaty AU's, and thought, well… no, not quite. Anyway enjoy my twist. ~~~~~~~~~~~

Madara is entirely unsure why a Hatake is sitting at the table, but the way the White Demon seems to relax minutely holds his attention over the tense atmosphere. His eyes seem relaxed, so Madara can see white lashes spread like snowfall over blood. See how he gently leans towards the older man as though awaiting something. If this was to be his Wife, then Madara can at least admit that the Senju is pretty to look at.

Madara flicks his attention to Hashirama and tries desperately not to let a bark of laughter out. Hashirama looks vaguely pale for a Clan Head, and the dark circles under his eyes only seem to pop out more. His old friend looks- Madara sobers. Now was not the time. 

Today they had something important to discuss in the treaty, and the interloper would only prolong the inevitable. 

“Hatake-san, why are you here?” Madara addresses the man directly, annoyance threading into his tone. 

The redhead, and wasn’t that a marvel, tilts his head to the left. If it hadn’t been for the Hatake mon, golden eyes that reminded him of wolves, and the freezing lightning-touched chakra lazily rolling about, Madara would have assumed another clan entirely. 

The Hatake smiles, eyes crinkling in amusement. “Uchiha-sama,” the man addresses him, leaning back and crossing his fingers on the table. It has Madara bristling at the arrogance. "I am here because the Senju can't honor the terms of one important treaty line." 

Madara stiffens along with his brother beside him. Excuse me? 

Mushrooms sprout onto the table as Hashirama groans, capturing Madara's attention faster than a Kunai can strike. "What is the meaning of this Senju-sama?" Madara says through his teeth. 

"Uchiha-sama," The Hatake smoothly interrupts. It's lazy and unbothered by the insult he has given. Golden eyes glitter, and Madara wants to stab. "You react too soon. Tobirama Senju is not just Heir to the Senju. He is also Mine."

What.

Madara blinks. A strangled noise comes from Izuna and what sounds like a choke from Hikaku. He had no idea the Hatake had switched hands. The last he had known, it was still Satoshi Hatake. A devastating man who Madara swears his honored father sneaks out with to go get drinks when the wolves pass by. Though the knowledge they had been able to scrape up about his children was scarce. Only two. One passed, so this must be the youngest who follows in his father's footsteps, Katsuro Hatake.

"I apologize, Hatake-sama. I was unaware that the Hatake had a new Clan Head," Madara says but side eyes a further wilting Hashirama. 

"Forgiven and forgotten. We like to use knowledge and misdirection, especially with your Heir and his talents, Uchiha-sama," Katsuro waves off their apology and gently touches Tobirama's hand. "I named Tobirama my Heir, as agreed upon by the terms made between our clans," Madara can hear the ‘predates yours’ that goes unsaid, "that should I not have children, my sister's eldest child was to be my Heir."

"So, to get to the point, Uchiha-sama. The Senju can not offer you Tobirama's hand in marriage to seal this treaty." The room explodes into noises of outrage but Madara closes his eyes. He should have known where the direction was going. Dealing with Hashirama had been easy. Although the marriage wasn’t ideal - he hadn’t wanted to, but Izuna would have slit the Demon's throat if given a chance, their animosity too strong -  the Elders had demanded it. Made it a stipulation, and the Senju agreed. 

No, Hashirama did. 

Looking closer at the duo, he can spot a pleased glint in their eyes. Sending his senses out, Madara is surprised the soothing cool of Tobirama’s chakra is curling around him, like a cat trying to find the best spot in the sun. It jumps back if noticed, pulling behind the sharp icy chakra of the Uncle. Not that he would be able to tell across the Senju’s face. 

As much as Madara disagrees, he has already resigned his fate to be tied to Tobirama for the sake of peace. “So, what do you suggest?” 

Katsuro finally offers a smile, near smug and self-satisfied. “Hatake hearts need to be won, Uchiha-sama. The candidate in question will have the chance to earn it, as Tobirama will endeavor to earn theirs. If it fails, no harm, no foul, and the treaty continues. We Hatake do not enter into loveless marriages, nor do the Uchiha if I recall. If this is unacceptable as a term, then you may choose someone else to marry.”

Madara can't help but feel like he's stepping into a trap, but too late to stop it. Already the terms have been set, and the Elders will likely agree. The burn of anger alights a fire in him. "Are you implying I cannot earn my Wife's heart?" Madara asks, voice tight and controlled. 

A hand wave, dismissive in nature, is the only response that gives anything away. "If that's the way you choose to take my terms, then do so Uchiha-sama. But they will not change. My Heir is precious and an incredible shinobi. Anything less than loved is a travesty.”

“Fine.” Madara snaps, slashing an arm through the air. “I accept those terms.”

“Nii-San,” Izuna whines lowly, and Madara doesn’t miss how Izuna puts his head in his hands, muttering so low he can’t hear. 

“I’m pleased to hear that!” Hashirama gains life, clapping his hands together, which only makes flowers grow on the table around him. 

In one smooth movement, the Hatake Head stands and gently runs his fingers through silver-white hair. The way it parts under fingers has Madara wondering what it would feel like if it was his hand instead. Was it soft? As the loveliest carmine eyes meet his, Tobirama tilts his head, which shows off a column of pale throat and… was that more red lines?  A teasing tilt to plush lips captures his attention before the seductive song suddenly ends, and Tobirama looks like he normally does. But the image has been seared into his head. Whatever game Tobirama Senju plays, Madara wants to see it through even though he feels much like a mouse would before a cat.

Madara grins, full of teeth and excitement. Tobirama Senju might be a good dance partner, after all.

[thebibutterflyao3]

Day 17 - Prompt: Nice @wolfstarmicrofic

January Daily Series - 712 words

<<<Previous Part OR Start Here

Remus chewed the inside of his cheek while he stared at his mobile screen. Lily said Sirius was going to text him for directions when he’d picked up the take-away order. He was trying not to panic about the idea of Sirius in his flat, but it was useless.

The longer he waited, the more he regretted his procrastination in washing the dishes yesterday. His gaze drifted to the kitchen door that hid the stack of rinsed-but-not-scrubbed plates and mugs that were neatly stacked beside the sink. Living alone meant that he didn’t create many dishes, but it also meant that he alone was responsible for washing up.

Generally speaking, he kept the flat nice and tidy. Mostly so that Lily wouldn’t scrunch her nose when she walked inside. It was never as immaculate as hers because Remus wasn’t that motivated.

His phone vibrated in his hand and all he could do was stare at it. “Unknown number” had to be Sirius. After three deep breaths, he swiped past the lock screen.

Unknown Number: Remus?

Remus: Yes, is this Sirius?

Unknown Number: Yep. Lily gave me your number. Where am I bringing your lunch?

Remus quickly typed in his address, then saved Sirius’s number in his phone. He contemplated adding emojis or a nickname like he had for Lily and his parents. The best he could come up with was “Padfoot’s Dad” with a black dog emoji.

Padfoot’s Dad: Oh good, you’re close. See you in ten.

Remus: Alright.

He set the mobile on the side table and grinned to himself, unable to fully believe that he’d managed to get Sirius’s phone number. At least when Sirius went home at the end of the week, Remus could still text him. Maybe he wouldn’t fade into oblivion the moment Sirius left town.

Ten minutes later, a knock echoed through the room. Remus winced as he pushed himself to his feet and padded across the flat. As he opened the door, he smiled at the sight of Sirius in a black leather jacket with two take-away bags in his hand.

“Hey,” he said, matching Remus’s grin.

“Hey.”

Sirius peered over his shoulder curiously. “Mind if I come in?”

“Oh! Yes, come in. Right. Yes,” he spluttered, moving out of the way. “Kitchen is just there.”

“I’m on it! You just get comfortable again and I’ll bring it to you.” Sirius breezed past him and headed straight for the kitchen door.

“Oh no, I can-”

Sirius spun around on his heel and pointed at him. “Remus, sit. I said I’d bring you lunch, I meant it.”

He disappeared into the kitchen before Remus could respond. It felt rather foolish to argue the point with him when he was still in pain. The pain med he’d taken dulled it to a tolerable level, but he couldn’t push himself much or he’d feel even worse tomorrow. That was one lesson he’d learned the hard way.

When Sirius reappeared, he held two plates in one hand and two mugs of tea in the other. “For fuck’s sake, sit!”

Remus rolled his eyes as he shuffled back to his recliner and settled in. The heating pad felt stupidly good on his back now that he’d iced it thoroughly. He arched his back and groaned under his breath as the welcoming warmth seeped into his skin.

Sirius went still in front of him. Remus glanced up, then blinked violently. The man stared in shock with wide blue eyes and his pouty lips parted. His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip and Remus bit his own hard. Neither moved, nor spoke, and a tense silence rushed to fill the space between them.

A tension that snapped sharply when Sirius finally shook himself clear and handed Remus the tea. “Here you are. Do you mind if I eat in here with you?”

“No, that’s fine.”

Remus quickly refocused his attention on the plate headed toward his lap rather than the mouth that he desperately wanted to feel on his own. He wasn’t sure what set off that little moment, but he wouldn’t be opposed to it happening again. It almost looked like Sirius wanted to kiss him. Again…actually, but for real this time.

Wishful thinking.

Next Part>>>

[violet-lazer]

First Kisses : Papal Edition - Secondo

Content / Warnings : Secondo/Reader, Mature (Language, Suggestiveness), Gender-Neutral Reader, 1.5k words. Thanks, please enjoy! (AO3)

Your first kiss with Secondo.

With a good amount of trepidation coursing through your veins, you lift your hand to the door of Secondo’s office and give two firm knocks, attempting to ignore the knot in your stomach as you await a response. After a moment or two, his voice rings sharp and clear through the wood-panelled door.

“Enter.”

You gather yourself and push open the door, taking a few short steps into the room. Secondo, seated at his desk, clearly in the middle of some paperwork, lifts his head to meet your gaze. Placing his pen down, he steeples his fingers and leans forward slightly as he addresses you.

“Ah. Welcome. Do you know why I have summoned you?”

“No, Papa,” you lie.

Even underneath his paint, you see him quirk an eyebrow. He hums, reaching into a drawer, retrieving his phone and placing it on the surface of the desk, screen facing you. He beckons you to come closer, and you reluctantly oblige. Reluctantly, because you know you’re facing your own oblivion in bright illuminated text. Since last night you’ve been living in desperate, foolish hope that what is currently happening might not happen. As you lean in close to assess the damage, a small, involuntary groan escapes you. You’re looking, as you knew you would be, at the message thread between you and Secondo on his personal, private number.

This was Terzo’s fault. You’ve been known to blame many of your personal problems on Terzo, but this one was indisputable. 

“Personally,” he’d said, leaning over to purr into your ear as the two of you watched Secondo conduct mass, “I think you should tell him.” 

From your latecomers’ vantage point at the back of the chapel, you’d torn your eyes from the altar, from Secondo, and looked at Terzo incredulously. Oh, here we go. Terzo is doling out romantic advice again. Perfect.

“I don’t want to do that,” you’d said. You don’t. You do. 

Terzo had rolled his eyes at this, and tutted condescendingly.

“Have it your way. I would advise doing something to halt your descent into madness, though. When I am battling my feelings-”

“What feelings?”

“When I am battling my feelings,” he continues, “Here is what I do. I draft a little paragraph on my phone. I go into excruciating detail about my wants and desires. Let it all out, you know. I imagine sending it to them. And then I delete it. It is almost as good as an honest conversation.”

“Right,” you’d said dismissively, fixing your attention on Secondo at the altar once again and ignoring your quickening heartbeat. What a silly idea.

And there you were just a few hours later, lying on your bed, phone aloft in front of your face, typing furiously in the text box below Secondo’s name. The content of the messages between the two of you before tonight had been consummately professional- indeed, he’d only furnished you with his number last week due to the number of errands you’d been volunteering to run for him of late. But what you were writing here was the absolute antithesis of professional. You’d paused to assess your work. Utter filth. A culmination of every idle thought, every active fantasy you’d had about the man in the months since you’d first laid eyes on him. 

You wonder how he’d respond if he could see this, if he only knew. Would it take him completely by surprise? You’ve been so, so well-behaved around him. It’s been nigh impossible for you to figure out how you’d even approach the idea of flirting with Secondo, and the embarrassment of being knocked back may just destroy you. So you’ve simply not bothered to try. But Lucifer, what you’ve thought. 

Satisfied, you’d pressed backspace, holding your finger down and watching your most depraved dreams disappear before your very eyes-

And then you’d dropped your phone on your face before you’d finished, hitting you square on the nose and making your eyes water. Scrambling to pick it up, you’d turned it over to see something that made your heart drop out of your arse. You hadn’t finished deleting. And you’d pressed send. Possibly with your nose, which was impressive.

Immediately, without even registering how much of your message had made it to Secondo, you’d done the only logical thing and turned your phone off in a panic. When in doubt, deny. Perfect strategy. Hey, maybe you’d even get away with it.

As you look at Secondo’s screen, it becomes apparent you haven’t gotten away with it. Until about twenty seconds ago you’d been clinging onto a vague hope that the letter of summoning that had been pushed under your door this morning was concerning…literally anything else. Alas. Your crime is staring you in the face.

More specifically, what is staring you in the face is your own words. You suppose it could have been a lot worse, really. Most of the evidence was gone, and what remained-

Papa, I need to tell you how much I want you to p

“When I gave you my number,” Secondo says, dragging your attention away from the screen and back to his stare, “it was for business, not pleasure.”

“I know, Papa. I’m sorry.” 

Even if you could play it off as the start of a message that wasn’t about what you wanted Secondo to do to you, you absolutely can’t excuse the fact that you’d sent it at half past eleven at night. Absolutely inappropriate for a work-related enquiry.

Secondo barely acknowledges your apology, merely continuing to hold your gaze. You fall into an uncomfortable silence.

You reckon you could make a clean exit if you vaulted out of the window. Enthusiastic sprint, hand on the windowsill, over and out. Secondo’s office is only on the second floor, you’d probably be alright. It would be preferable to this.

After what feels like an eternity, Secondo speaks again.

“Well?”

“...Well?” you repeat slowly, somewhat at a loss.

He leans back slightly in his chair, exuding nothing but sheer, relaxed confidence.

“Well? Does that sentence have an ending?”

It does. It has a very creative ending. Is he…asking to hear it? The thought simultaneously thrills you and terrifies you. There’s not a chance you can repeat what you wrote so unashamedly last night, not to his face. Not when he’s looking at you like that.

You nod. It feels less committal. Secondo tilts his head just a fraction.

“It seemed very important. If you want something, you should be direct about it. Here, I will go first. I want you to tell me the ending to your sentence. And I want you to be honest.”

Ah, fuck. At present, you don’t think you have the capacity to lie. All you can think about is…

“It said,” you begin before you can help it, “I need to tell you how much…I want you to push me against a wall and kiss me.”

You’ve done it now. There’s a wave of adrenaline crashing over you, a mix of nerves and sheer exhilaration, and your hands are trembling. You realise you’re holding your breath. Secondo’s response causes you to exhale sharply. 

“And is that a sentiment you stand by this morning?”

“Yes.” 

“Close the door.”

Without thinking, you obey, turning to retrace your steps. As you approach the door you hear the scrape of Secondo’s chair on the floor; when you push on the heavy wood you count footsteps behind you. The door shuts. You turn. Secondo is right behind you, and still he barely slows his pace as he closes the last remaining distance between you. You let him back you up against the door, and in an instant his mouth is on yours. Secondo kisses you fiercely, tongue pushing into your mouth, his body pressed hard against you. You kiss him just as relentlessly, sinking back against the door, desperate to feel Secondo’s weight pinning you where you stand. Gloved hands find your hips.

Eventually, you part, breathless. Secondo’s eyes are ablaze as he looks down upon you, and it might be the delirium talking but you could swear he has the faintest suggestion of a smile playing across his lips. He leans in, giving you one gentle, final kiss. Then, he shifts, taking a step backwards and releasing his hold on you. You miss the pressure. 

“I would say it is worth being direct, hm?” he says. “Next time I expect you to be more forthright.”

“Next time?” you say, still bracing yourself against the door. There’s a chance your legs might still give out. Secondo hums.

“I will permit you to contact me outside business hours,” he says. “As long as you are confident in your desires. As long as you are…explicit.”

He reaches past you to grasp the doorknob, waiting patiently for you to peel yourself off the door before easing it open. Politely, he gestures to the corridor beyond.

“You are dismissed.”

You nod shakily. The past ten minutes have been something of an adventure. As you cross the threshold of Secondo’s office, you hear his voice, soft, behind you.

“I look forward to your next message.”

So do you. As you make your way back to your room, you pull out your phone and finally turn it back on. You’ll show him just how explicit you can be.

[wcrriorhearts]

I will preface this post by saying two things: I am really, REALLY hard to anger and I am normally very much against call out culture, because I feel like publicly addressing someone in this fashion leads nowhere, but I will make an exception this one time, because I lose my patience when people attack my friends and this is exactly what has been happening. I will not stand for this. I will put the rest of this under a cut and apologize in advance for polluting your dash with negativity, because I personally hate this too, but this needs to stop, NOW and since no one else is speaking up, I will do it!

Leah, Anna, Angelika, whatever the hell your name my be, because you change it constantly, this needs to stop! I am addressing you personally, because we have surpassed the point of vague posting. You have crossed more lines than I can count and I am SO DONE with your behavior. It is hard to get me to this point, but you have managed to make me so livid, that we're here now and this needs to STOP. Not only have you scammed half the hotd fandom out of money in the most ridiculous ways by making one donation post after the other with various claims, but you were also not very careful with your many lies. I will have enough decency not to talk about them here at length but please know that if your vile behavior continues, I have proof of all the bullshit lies you told and all the shady things you did and I will NOT be nice enough again to keep them out of the public eye.

Lying and scamming is one line you crossed but sucicide baiting people and then when this didn't garner the attention you wanted making another 'goodbye' post in which you basically attack my friends blaming them for your decision to supposedly ending your life? That is one too many steps over lines and boundaries and I cannot stand for this. Also once again you lied in that post. You never asked Daze for money??? I have screenshot proof that you did, so PLEASE for the love of everything that is fair, shut up and leave everyone alone. I am sorry to say this, but once again it is VERY suspicious that you only posted your heartfelt goodbye messages on platforms Daze could see. Coincidence, isn't it? That she confronted you with your lies privately and then this is the escalation of it? Were you scared that all of your lies would unravel? Perhaps, given this is not the first fandom in which you have done this. I am not someone who lightly discredits people who are desperate enough to end their lives, but I don't believe you a single word anymore. You made the first post about it, then nothing happened and it gained no traction, then the second, just like you did with all of your fundraiser posts. As soon as you didn't garner the attention and traction you wanted, you just upped the dramatics. Aber wie man so schön hier in Deutschland sagt: wer ein Mal lügt, dem glaubt man nicht!

I have absolutely no doubt that you are severely mentally ill and I hope that you get the help you need, I truly do, because no person in their right mind would ever do the things you did. I don't care if you attack me, or if you go behind my back and talk shit, because I know who is in the right here and it's not you. Mind you, neither one of us - and there's more than just the three of us you know of - would have ever made this public. We would have let this fizzle out and you get your head straight, but you had to cross yet another line. I am disgusted by what you have said and done in order to guilt trip my friends, who were nothing but kind to you, until they started to notice all the lies and weird things you told them and confronted you.

Sadly I have seen many people like you in the rp world, who will lie and live at the expense of good, honest people who want to do good in the world and help others in need. If you take anything from this, please consider how damaging your behavior has been. You might have gained a shit ton of money for free, others are traumatized by what you have done. I don't care about what you do from here on, I just hope you get professional help for whatever has led you down this path and come to see the error of your ways. Should you ever shade, attack, or even mention my friends, the next post will not be so comparably friendly anymore. Lass es dir gesagt sein Leah, du willst wirklich nicht, dass wir alles was wir gegen dich gesammelt haben öffentlich stellen. Also tu uns und dir den Gefallen und verschwinde aus dem Fandom, oder zumindest unserem Dunstkreis, denn dich will ich definitiv nicht mehr sehen hier. And to everyone else who read this: I am sorry if you have been affected by this too. Please feel free to reach out if you want to talk. And if you should choose to unfollow me for this post, I will have no hard feelings. Had this been me in the center of all of this, I wouldn't have said anything. But if you attack my friends, it's on sight.

[petitelepus]

I am desperate for pet!Urogi content! Maybe his previous owners gave him up because he's "loud, annoying, and way too affectionate" and they hated it (ridiculous!) But you're his new owner and you totally love his behavior

Summary: You see a post on the internet about an avian Demon being given away and of course, you are excited! You just didn't expect Demon to be so excited also!

Warnings: Slavery, BLOOD, CHICKEN BLOOD BUT STILL, KILLING CHICKEN, NO DETAILS BUT CHICKEN DOES DIE OFFSCREEN

A/N: Slave!AU, Demon Slaves, Urogi, Gender Neutral Reader

Part 1 - Part 2

You sighed as you were done with the day's work. Living outside the city was great, you had your own little house where you lived peacefully, doing your job with the computer so you rarely had to leave the safety of your home and head to the city and you were pretty independent, having chickens and a rooster; so you had a stable source of food also.

But your independence came with a price.

"Company could be nice…" You hummed as you logged into your computer and absent-mindedly started to go through different websites and saw many posts about people with their Demons and such. Seeing them filled you with jealousy and you sighed, wondering why you had to do this to yourself, why did you have to look when you couldn't get anything?

Slaves could be expensive and you weren't exactly rolling in money so buying one was out of the question. It appeared that you could never get a Demon of your own… Or so you thought until you noticed a notification on the internet, about Demons being sold cheap or given away.

You were curious, but also reserved. You had read a post or two about how Demons like these were so-called "damaged goods" and how they could be unstable and even dangerous.

"I shouldn't…" You muttered quietly, "I really shouldn't…"

Yet you still clicked the link anyway.

There were so many different Demons being sold dirt cheap, but they all looked like they were pretty damn hard to handle… But then a notification popped up and a new post was posted. What caught your attention was the headline.

'Giving Away A Rare Avian Demon'

An avian Demon? Like one of those with animalistic looks akin to birds? This caught your interest and you clicked to see the picture of the Demon and sure enough, he had huge brown wings on his back and he had talons instead of hands or feet. He seemed to also have a very wide and excited smile, posing for the picture.

You had always liked birds so getting him felt natural.

You acted before you even realized what you were doing, sending a message to the person giving the Demon away.

'Hello, I would be interested in your avian Demon. Is he still available?'

You held your breath as you waited for a reply and you started to fear that you were too late and that someone else had claimed the Demon, but then you got a reply.

'Yeah, it is'

You grinned ear to ear and messaged back.

'Wonderful, I would love to take him off from your hands.'

'Good, how fast can you come?'

Good question, how fast could you go and fetch the Demon? You glanced out of the window and noted that the sun was starting to set. You had plenty of time, but you were so excited and therefore impatient.

'How about today? Or is it too soon?'

'It's perfect'

The person giving the Demon away sent you an address where you could pick your new slave and you cheered happily. You grabbed your phone, inserted the address into your map app, headed out, jumped into your car, and took off. You couldn't believe your luck! You got yourself a Demon and it cost you nothing!

You arrived at your destination after a half-hour car drive and the sun was almost completely set. You hummed as you looked at the address and the buildings, finally finding the one you were looking for. Without waiting any further, you pressed the doorbell… And the door opened to reveal a woman, around your age.

"Yes?"

"Ah, good evening. I'm here for the Demon?" You smiled a little, "Is this the right address?"

"Oh, you're the one from the forum." The woman nodded, "Yeah, it's in my backyard. Come on in."

"Thank you," You nodded humbly as you stepped into her house and you noted that it was even smaller than your home. You wondered a little if the Demon in question was actually a small one, but another question slipped past your lips, "Why is he in the backyard? Doesn't sun burn him?"

"It's fine, it spends days in the old garden shed." The woman replied and you frowned, "Why not keep him inside?"

"I don't have space for that big stupid thing and I don't want it to make a mess," She replied as she opened the backdoor and you followed her outside, but the heavy-looking chain in the middle of the backyard immediately caught your attention. It was struck into the ground and led to the shed that looked like it could come apart if the wind was strong enough.

"Oi, come out. Someone is here to see you." The woman opened the door and you gasped as the Demon stepped out and you saw him in his glory.

He was huge, wings and all, and muscular… But why was he chained and why did he have a gag in his mouth?

"Why is he chained?"

"So it won't escape."

"And the gag?" You asked as you frowned, "Is he dangerous?"

"No," The woman shook her head, "It just doesn't shut up once it starts talking."

"How does he eat?"

"We give him what leftovers we have each night."

You had read enough to know that wasn't even nearly enough of what a healthy Demon should eat!

"Ah…" You nodded, "So, why are you exactly giving him away?"

"Because it's a headache! I tried selling it, but no one would take it when they saw it and I don't feel like paying for it to be put down."

"So, what, just because he is a little too excited you don't want him anymore?" You almost couldn't believe what you were hearing or how irresponsible this woman was.

"Are you going to complain or take it before we give up and stick it into the sunlight?" She asked and you shook your head, "No no, I'll take him! I can take him with me right now!"

"Good," The woman nodded as she dug out a key from her pocket and unlocked the chain around the slave's ankle. The Demon blinked as he looked at you and the woman grabbed his upper arm and harshly pushed him at you, "There! You can keep the gag. God knows you will need it."

"Thank you," You nodded as you gently grabbed the Demon's yellow wrist and turned to lead him out, but the woman quickly shouted, "No no, not through the house! You will make a mess!"

You turned to look and she rushed past you to open the gate to the front yard where your car was waiting.

"There, now go go!" She almost pushed the two of you out before slamming the gate behind you.

You looked at your new slave who was inspecting you with these deep golden eyes of his and you smiled, "Alright… I'm your new owner, so… Let's get along?"

The Demon looked at you as it nodded and you smiled a little, "Let me see that gag of yours…"

The slave nodded as it bent down so you could look at the bindings around his head and you quickly frowned as you saw that the knot used to tie the gag was too complicated for you to open simply by hand.

"Shit, can you hold on until we get to my place? I have scissors there so I can remove that gag in your mouth."

The Demon nodded and you looked apologetic as you led him to your car… Only to realize that he didn't fit, not with those large wings of his.

"Now what…?" You groaned, feeling yourself grow frustrated… But then your new slave tapped your shoulder and when you turned to look, he pointed at his wings. You blinked, stunned, "Wait, you can actually fly?"

He nodded. You smiled, "That's amazing! Do you think you can follow my car?"

He nodded again and you smiled as you got into your car and took off.

Sure, there was the risk that he might escape, but if that was to happen then there was nothing you could do… But as you drove and looked out of the window, you could see him tailing close behind you. This filled you with joy and hope and you drove back home.

Once back home, you immediately took the Demon inside and to the kitchen where you held everything sharp that you could use to undo that damn gag around his head.

"Hold still, I don't want to hurt you even by accident," You said and the slave nodded as he knelt down so you could reach better… And with a quick snip and snap, the gag fell down from the Demon's mouth.

"There we go!" You smiled as you stepped in front of him and looked at him and he moved and corrected his no doubt aching jaw.

Then, all of a sudden he lurched forward and you yelped, fearing that he was dangerous after all, but instead of shredding you to pieces, he hugged you and smiled and it was both the most genuine and wicked smile you had ever seen.

"Thank you, Master! I hated that thing!" The Demon laughed and wow, he was loud, yet excited!

"You're welcome," You nodded, gently patting his shoulder and the slave grinned as he stepped back, "What a nice Master I got! I-!"

The only thing louder than the Demon was his stomach. You blinked and the Demon clutched his stomach as he laughed, "Ha ha, looks like I'm hungry!"

You believed him if he was only fed some leftovers for who knows how long!

"Oh, of course!" You nodded, "You need food! Do you mind chicken, or…?"

"Or?"

"Can you?" You pointed at his wings and the Demon cackled, "Yeah, I can eat birds! Meat is meat after all!"

"Okay, good," You turned to head to the backyard where your chicken coop was located, "Okay, I just need to kill one and-!"

"Wait!" Urogi raised his hand, "A- Are there living chickens here?"

He sounded stunned and shocked, but why exactly?

"Yeah, I eat and breed them." You tilted your head, "Why?"

"Can-!" You could see him actually drool, "Can I eat one?"

"Of course, I just need to-!"

"No, I mean, can I kill it?" He wiped his drooly chin and you hummed thoughtfully… But you didn't see anything bad at it.

"Okay," You nodded as you crooked your finger, inviting him to join you, "Come and I'll give you one. Just don't let it suffer."

"I won't!" The Demon sounded so eager, almost desperate as he followed you to your wide backyard where the coop full of chickens was located, and, well, things went as you would presume.

After about half an hour, you and the Demon returned inside, the latter one licking his bloody lips and talons, his hunger finally quenched.

"It's a rare treat for us Demons to get something alive to eat!" The Demon cackled before he suddenly hugged you again and nuzzled his nose against the top of your head, "I know I'm going to love my stay with you!"

"Well…" You smiled a little, "I'm happy to have you!"

"Oh, oh!" Your new slave let go of you and looked at you excitedly, his wings flaring behind him, "My name is Urogi! What should I call you, Master?"

The way he asked was almost straight like from the textbook and you frowned a little, not necessarily liking being called Master.

"Well… I think you can call me whatever you want?" You thought out loud and he smiled, immediately coming up with one, "Birdie!"

"Birdie?" You blinked, "Why, because I have birds?"

"And you have me!" He laughed and you blinked as you smiled. This Demon, unlike anyone you had ever known, was filled with such pure joy, like every second alive was a reason to be happy about.

You had a feeling that the two of you would get along very well.

[gyumibear]

💖 create a sim(p)! — 18: friends?

synopsis — after stupidly claiming on stream that you’ve been dating popular youtuber choi beomgyu in secret after accidentally creating an identically looking sim, you beg him not to reveal your lie to the public when it goes viral. weirdly, he agrees and you two begin to fool the public. can your lie become the truth or will it eventually catch up with you?

prev / masterlist / next

a/n — back with another written chapter! but this time it’s gyu’s pov! (wc: ~1k) as for warnings: swearing, mentions of murder, mentions of pineapple pizza(😭) and beomgyu having an internal crisis throughout the whole thing!

“What’s up?” Beomgyu greeted, walking smoothly into your room.

“Sit. We have much to discuss.” You ordered.

He plopped himself down in the bean bag chair.

“First order of business, my mandatory freak out.”

Beomgyu looked at you confused. His expression only amplified into one of abject horror when you, without further explanation, started screaming incoherently into your pillows. Your arms flailing wildly, you let out all your grievances and curses while Beomgyu watched on in silence, unsure whether to flee or comfort.

After you tired yourself out, you lifted your head, your neutral expression returned to your face. Beomgyu was relieved you were done screaming, given he had just become super concerned about you. Friends worry about friends right? He thought, thinking back to his conversation with Keeho and the others. Yeah, but you can also worry about someone you’re interested in. What the hell- now is NOT the time to be worried about that.

“Are you okay?” He asked quickly, desperate to clear his thoughts from his mind. “That was… unexpected.”

“I told you beforehand I was going to have a mandatory freak out. Be grateful I had the sense to not scream without the muffler.” You barked, absolutely no bite attached. Beomgyu shrugged, deciding to let you have that.

Wait, am I just doing that because I like-

“Second order of business!” You clapped your hands, snapping Beomgyu out of his mind. “We need to figure out how to address the thread.”

“Would it be crazy for me to say…” Beomgyu started, unsure how his next words would go, “I don’t think we should address it all?”

“Why would we not?!”

“Listen… It’s just giving that person what they want: attention. Nobody else was agreeing with them, so it’s not like we have much to worry about.”

“Not yet! But what if people start reading deeper into everything we do? Then we’re in deep shit.”

“You’re in deep shit.” He corrected without much thought, immediately facepalming himself for two reasons.

One, that was an asshole thing to say. And two, the way your face immediately fell made him feel like crap.

“Oh yeah… I forgot…” You whispered softly, more to yourself than out loud.

“No no, wait.” He didn’t like that expression on your face. “I didn’t mean that. Slip of the tongue. You’re right. It’s our problem, and we should fix it together.”

Friends don’t leave friends to drown. Even if said friend is in this situation because of their own stupid, idiotic actions.

“Yeah…” You nodded before looking away.

Now, it was like a wall was between the two of you. Beomgyu felt kinda bad. This whole time you had been trying to be nice to him and build a friendship, but he only gave you half-hearted reactions and treatment. Sure, you had probably only done it so that your fake relationship would look realer, but still… You were trying so hard… And he wasn’t trying enough.

No wonder he was so confused about whether he liked you as a friend or partner. Fake dating really is a terrible idea.

“Hey, why don’t we stream again? Like nothing happened, and if someone asks we can shut it down there?” He suggested, wanting to fill the silence and show you he cared at the same time.

“That could work… What should we say?”

“Pretty much that that person is reaching. It’s simple, to the point and we don’t have to make anything up.” Beomgyu made a mental note to also make a tweet condemning any of his fans for spewing hate about you. “How about that?”

“Sounds good to me. When should we do this?”

“Yeonjun actually wanted to be in one of my vlogs, so we can meet up with him tomorrow? Hang out and then record? Two birds with one stone…”

“Yeonjun…?”

“My best friend.”

“Ah… Wait, you brought your friend with you? What, you thought I was gonna murder you or something?”

“He had to shoot!” Beomgyu defended, “And to be fair, he was the one that thought you’d murder me. I trust you.”

“Oh really?” You looked surprised.

“Yeah,” Beomgyu smirked mischievously, “Trust that you wouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything. You have no chance against me.”

“What?! I’d totally kick your butt if I wanted to!”

“Sure.” He dragged out the last syllable, making it extremely clear that he was being sarcastic.

“You know what? Let’s go! Right now!”

“No thanks, I don’t wanna have to explain to Yeonjun why we have to flee back to Korea before I get arrested.”

“You are not funny!”

The way you guys could playfully banter like this was making Beomgyu even more confused. He enjoyed your company, which was normal for friends… But he couldn’t help but think you were so attractive the way you shook your fist at him. It’s not like he wanted to kiss you. Or did he? Do friends kiss? God, he sounded like a loser right now.

Maybe he should text his friends again…

If Taehyun was here he’d probably set Beomgyu straight. But Taehyun would also drag him for every decision he’s ever made and then call him dumb. Jake was unhelpful for things like this, given he was a prime example of what not to do in relationships. Yeonjun was helpful… when he was available. Which wasn’t often. He was probably out right now. Keeho? He was pretty normal and pretty helpful too… But, he was addicted to being in people’s business and getting himself involved with both sides of the party...He did not want Keeho to start talking to you.

Maybe he should just take a nap.

“Fine, fine, you win.”

“Damn right I do!” You grinned, laying on your back to look up at your bare ceiling. “So… What do you wanna do for dinner?”

“Pizza?”

“Yes! Can we get it with pineapples?”

“No? What monster eats pizza with pineapples?”

“I’ll have you know me and NingNing adore pineapple pizza.”

“WHO??”

“Oh! That’s what I call Kai.”

“Oh. I thought you had an imaginary friend or something…Anyways… No pineapple on the pizza.”

“Darn.”

© GYUMIBEAR. do not repost, modify or translate my work onto other social media sites.