#I can’t remember where I first heard it

[hana-no-seiiki]

WHY DON’T YOU GIVE ME A SMILE? (ACT 2)

YANDERE! BATFAM x JINX (ARCANE/LEAGUE)-ESQUE! READER

[ ACT ONE HERE ]

cw/tw: mentally ill reader. schizophrenic reader. reader w/ abandonment issues. manipulative reader. crimes. arson.

summary: we dive deeper into Gotham's explosive personality and history with those that took the title of ‘boy wonder’

MORE ON YOUR ORIGINS

“They were right! You’re just a Jinx.”

“Everybody shut up! I need to think!”

“We weren’t . . . “

As much as you scared the crap out of Joker’s goons. Since they saw you grow up first hand. A lot of them tended to be overprotective over you.

I mean, they’re insane enough to follow Joker. What more you?

They see you as his successor. An heir of sorts.

Which is why Jason Todd felt like he had no choice but to either fix you or keep you locked up.

You don’t remember much of him. If you did you would hate him.

He was the one that essentially helped you pull the trigger on your family.

If you haven’t read my other posts about it, here’s the rundown.

Jason had a massive crush on reader when the two of em were kids. Prior to everything. Before he was adopted, before reader set their world ablaze, before shit hit the fan essentially.

He saw how neglected you felt. The rejection you faced from your peers for not being strong enough. For being small and weak.

Him and your sister were pretty popular amongst the kids but it only made the comparisons worse.

It was always how they were “twice the kids at [Y/N]’s age.”

And so he thought of a little gift. Just a little something to show the others how cool you really are.

He didn’t expect you to use it that way. And the worst part of it all, he wasn’t there to comfort you. I mean sure, dozens of people died that day. Many of which he was somewhat fond of. But he was sure they’d want him to comfort you. To say that it wasn’t your fault.

And despite all that, you only knew Jason as that one guy Joker went too far with.

“Hey, [N/N].”

The call of your name almost froze you on the spot. Their screams pushed forward from the back of your mind into the forefront. You didn’t think. Your hands just pulled the trigger of your machine gun on its own.

“Who the hell are you?” You grit your teeth. You’ve heard of this Red Hood going around and ruining your adoptive father’s plans lately.

And what’s worse? The man kept forcing you to stay away. Plying you with all sorts of prostitutes and all the money you could ever need or want.

Despite your hostile disposition, the man in question doesn’t return it. “I’m sorry. This was all my fault. I shouldn’t have left you behind.”

“Leave.” You lowered your machine gun. A sudden wave of drowsiness overwhelmed you. A sense of calm. Weakness. Everything was screaming at you to end the source. But if he kept dodging your bullets them perhaps diplomacy would work.

You breathed out. [Y/N]. That name, that identity — though it fell down a well and was long dead it still had it uses.

Softened voice, doe eyes, and posture loose. If you had no other weapon they you always had your vulnerability.

“You need to leave, Joker is coming soon and I can’t help you if you’re caught.”

“Who was that, Jinx?” Joker asked.

You turned around. Your eyes meeting his chest and then his face, where that wide, freakish grin was stuck unto him.

“Old man, I think you mean what.” The toxic pink glint flashed through your eyes as you once again buried your old self along with the rest of the corpses that have met their demise by your hand.

“Meet Fishbones.”

BACK TO YOUR RIVAL:

Recently Tim had been . . . more agreeable to your demands somewhat?

You could tell he was pulling his punches.

Sometimes he’d even join you in your exploits.

You never trusted him of course. You never trusted anyone but yourself. But he was fun to be around is all. Whether it was you two beating each other to near death or blowing up buildings (he made sure to evacuate its residents before you two went all out).

“You know. I kinda wanna blow up that building. Don’t you think we’ll have a better view of the sky that way, Timmy?” You pointed to the structure with your signature gun shaped hand gesture.

That was one of Bruce’s buildings.

“You . . . “ Tim blinked at you a couple of times. “are so right.”

“Let’s go.” You yanked him the hand.

Tim smiled. Even if he wasn’t making direct contact with your skin, and you with his — he couldn’t help but smile at the intimacy of this moment. What were his worries with you beside him? All the sadness and anger felt so fleeting when he was with you.

His glee almost costed him his life as it took him a couple of moments to realize that you have pushed him off a building after a while of parkour.

He managed to grapple himself back, and with your assistance, he got back up to the ledge you two were on.

He gave you one half hearted glare. You laugh at his face, “You’re such a loser! Always ready to cry! Wah wah wah!” And you set off. Getting within the building with no care for stealth whatsoever.

What was the point of being all sneaky like when you had bombs on you?

"Wait up! Get back here!" Tim ran after you. He didn’t mind that you were essentially destroying all his and Bruce’s hard-work on his industries, but you were being too reckless. He would sure as hell minded if you were caught.

Turns out he wasn’t so far off when it came to his fears and suspicions.

“You. You set me up.” You glared at him. Hands on your blaster. Ready to shoot at a moment’s notice. Your eyes flicking between the men in front of you, wondering who was best to pick off first.

Batman, Nightwing, or the man you stupidly thought was your friend.

“No. No you have to believe me I—“ Tim tried to explain. But Dick cuts him off, “Good job, we couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You traitor. I knew it. I knew it.” Your voice got weaker and weaker.

No, no, no. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t part of the plan. Tim was supposed to be with you for longer.

“I told you, you have no choice.” Bruce finally spoke. His cape moved to his back.

He wasn’t going to let you go. Not without making it bloody.

“Oh, boohoo. You’ve always been no fun!” Your eyes never leave the two dark suited men, but Tim knew you were speaking to him. “Good thing I never trusted you.”

And you take a deep breath, dropping the laughing gas Harley gave you for emergencies. It wasn’t as strong as the original one, hell you’re sure that those people probably expected that move. But it at least blocked their line of sights on you, allowing you to create some distance.

You managed to get far enough to ready your weapons and send a call of help to your adoptive parents before your prediction proved to be true — footsteps behind you; loud and clear.

“Look’s like we’ve got even more company. Huh, boy savior?”

“Don’t move and I won’t cut you down.”

Pow pow in your hand, and desperation in your mind. The last thing you heard is a blade unsheathing before you pull the trigger.

୨ ©️ ୧⸝⸝﹕hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2024﹐⊂☁️⊃ ‹𝟹

AUTHOR’s NOTE: YALL THOUGHT THIS WAS GONE!! WELL THINK AGAIN!! I AM BACK!!! Sorry for the late update!! Man I’m so excited for season 2 of arcane ahahsheudidj

Taglist: @w31rdg1rl @cherry-peach-flavored @ice-cream-writes-stuff @speckle-meow-meow @inejghafawifesblog @sitepathos @mimiissia @rolo-at-midnight @mossyvampire @kawaiimusiccollection @harpy-space @takottai @maddeningmangos @obsessed-with-a-fictional @ihatemylifeuwu @caramelstrikezz @szapizzapanda @vanessa-boo @imbiafandbored @victor-rose @earphonejack09 @rainnyydaysworld @bubbabobabubbles @ksziggy @evan-trand @emo-z0mbiezzz @nyra-42 @h0rr0r-10ver-69 @orangeboulevard @alwayszealousdetective @huhuhhuhh @iwasveronica @imginarygirl @nebuluma @heyitsaloy @mysticalhills

[arcanesea]

fine line

PAIRING: kim seungmin x reader GENRE: fluff WC: 572 WARNINGS: none(?)

“Okay, that’s it,” Seungmin closed the book he was holding, looking directly at you. “What’s going on with you?”

Nothing’s going on with you, is what you want to say. But you just stopped scrolling and shifted your gaze to Seungmin who was leaning on the couch across from you. Your eyebrows raised in a questioning manner.

“You’ve sighed like 100 times in the past 15 minutes,” Seungmin observes. You rolled your eyes at him, focusing back on your screen. You scroll past a book review video; too tired to think, scroll past a breakfast recipe without saving it, scroll past a cute animation video without even smiling.

“101 times now,” Seungmin announces. You look at him, still not saying anything. Afraid that if you even open your mouth, you won’t stop talking. Seungmin stands from his seat and moves to the other end of your couch. He lifted your feet fleetingly before sitting down with your feet on his lap. “Don’t you want to share what’s inside that little brain of yours?”

“Are you saying I’m dumb?” you voiced for the first time since the last hour. You wittingly press your heel towards his thigh, earning a low grumble from Seungmin.

“That’s your word, I won’t say such things to my girlfriend,” Seungmin said, drumming to your shin. “So?”

You unintentionally sigh and then smile at Seungmin when you realize before setting your phone on your chest.

“Don’t you feel like the world is moving too fast?” you proposed. Lately, the bones in your body refuse to cooperate, and you’re just constantly tired. “Weren’t we just graduating high school yesterday? And suddenly we’re going on our own way, doing interns and everything else. It’s like we don’t even have time for each other.” your voice waning.

“Aw, is this your way of saying you miss me?” Seungmin teased. You respond by once again pressing your heel towards his thigh. “But I get you” he leaned back on the couch, pausing to find the right word to respond to you. You sigh again, laughing now that you remember the exact count of how many times you sigh.

“I don’t think it’s normal to feel this way, because like… we have different paces, and I shouldn’t compare myself to others. But at the same time, I just can’t stop thinking about where we’ll go in life… What will happen to… us?”

“Do you think we’ll break up after we graduate?” You nodded sheepishly. A grin plastered on your face, matching Seungmin’s playful energy. He puts a hand over his chest, sounding hurt, “Unbelievable.”

You laugh ardently. Of course, there’s only a small part of you that thinks that way, the others are proceeding with certainty that you’ll get through whatever crisis this is with him.

“I know you’ve heard enough of it, and it probably won’t have any effects. But we’re going to be fine, babe,” Seungmin said, tracing circles on your shin. “The future’s undecided, right, but we’re doing everything we can right now to shape it into something that we dreamt about.”

And he’s only wrong about one thing, every word he says does have its effect on you, and you believe in him. You believe you’ll be fine.

a/n. shout out to every last-year college student out there. we got this<3 also seungmin kinda look like jake (enha) on that pic... he's so boyfriend

[onlymurphy]

Look After You

SPOILERS: Through Drum Island

Why do I love writing Sanji suffering so much? Guess we'll never know.

You've braved the elements. You've climbed the mountain. It's over. Or, you think it's over until you find Sanji, Luffy, and Nami on the brink of death in the mountains of Drum Island. You struggle to keep your friends alive, especially when you see the severe extent of Sanji's injuries. In the chaos, however, Sanji does the strangest thing possible. He kisses you. Now, waiting anxiously to find out his fate, you're forced to remember the pivotal moments in your friendship and question whether being with him will end in love and joy, or destroy the relationship you have with the person you love most.

Sanji x fem!reader

Angst | Fluff | Friends to Lovers

PG-13

TW: Gore, blood, description of serious injury, mention of food insecurity, mention of arranged marriages.

This is the same reader as Worthy of You!

Cross-Posted on A03

Request Here

“Please.”

The cold is digging through your pants now, your knees numb. Maybe you would have noticed the discomfort if the rest of your body wasn’t gripped by the numbness of terror - unable to move but frantic as you fist at the torn material of Sanji’s shirt.

“Please” you beg him, your voice not even sounding like it belongs to you, like someone else is pleading with the half of your soul before you to just keep breathing. “Please don’t leave me. Breathe for me, Sanji.”

He seems as though he can’t move his head, but he darts his eyes to the side to look at you. They’re not your Sanji’s eyes. They’re grey, distant, something akin to the snow freezing your clothes to your skin.

“I’m dying” he mumbles.

You recoil from the words. How dare he speak such a thing into existence. How dare he threaten you in that way, imply that the universe has the strength to pry him from your arms.

“I’m dying” he repeats as if you hadn’t heard him the first time. “I don’t wanna die.”

You brush some of that hair out of his eyes, and oh Gods you’ve gotten blood on his pretty face.

“I got blood on your forehead” you whisper, not sure what else to say.

In glorious, perfect him, he forces his hand to slide across the snow until it’s laid on your knee. “It’s okay, Pretty.”

Pretty.

He can’t die. Who else will call you Pretty? What will stop that part of your soul from withering away to nothing?

You don’t want to move him or lift him in fear of irritating his injuries, but not being able to hold him in his agony is ripping you apart. Blood is soaking the front of his coat. The white snow below him is pure red, disgustingly reminding you of the raspberry sorbet he’d given you earlier. You can taste it at the thought of it, but when that taste turns to the metallic ghost of Sanji’s blood, it takes everything in you not to vomit.

“Where are you bleeding?” You wonder as you slowly, ever so slowly begin to wake from your shock. “I’m gonna take your coat off and stop the bleeding.”

He meekly shakes his head. “Help Nami. Help Luffy.”

Ever generous, ever brave, ever self-sacrificial.

“I covered up Luffy’s hands and feet and wrapped Nami in my coat. They’re gonna be fine for now.”

His hand shoots out with a newfound vigor then, fingers wrapping around your wrist.

“Go” he demands you, though the harsh word doesn’t quite land with the way his voice is beginning to break. “I’m dying.”

There it is again, that betrayal.

You try your best to ignore him, reaching into your belt and pulling out your knife. The blade makes quick work of his puffy jacket. Fluff instantly turns red when it exits the fabric, sticking to his wounds and falling to the snow.

“Stop” he whispers. “Please. Pretty, I can’t move my legs. I can’t feel my feet.”

No. No, that’s not true.

It’s the cold, that’s all. It’s just the ice.

You tear open his shirt, tears beginning to prick at your eyes. They feel as though they freeze the instant they come.

“Sanji” you begin once his coat and shirt have both been cut away. “I have to roll you a bit so I can see where you’re bleeding from. I think the wound is on your back.”

You don’t give him time to hesitate or be afraid. You use all the strength that’s left in your exhausted body to roll him just a bit. You nearly gag at the sight of your best friend’s back once it seems to peel up from the ice below.

His vertebrae are exposed to you. The white bone is a stark contrast against the blood and flesh, a vile set of stars on red skies. It appears as though the skin of his back has been scraped away, leaving a gory mess in its place. You can see the vein where the blood is coming from, pulsing and dripping red with every fragile beat of his heart.

Oh, your Sanji,

You’re going to set fire to the island after this.

“Hey” you tell him softly, trying to keep the fire-hot rage in your chest from dripping into your words. “Hey, I have to stop the bleeding. I have to grab it, and it’s gonna hurt.”

You quickly pull your second layer jacket off, laying it over Sanji’s bare front to try and stop his trembling. The shaking of his body only makes it worse, blood seeming to soak the snow around you faster and faster the colder he gets

“I’m sorry” you whisper to him before reaching beneath his back.

Hot bile rushes up your throat the instant your hand finds its target. His flesh is slippery with blood, oddly warm and throbbing when you grab his vein in your fingertips. You have to turn your head down and talk yourself through deep, shaking breaths to keep all the contents of your stomach from joining the blood in the snow.

Sanji moans when you give a particularly hard gag. He hisses in pain, gritting his teeth like it’s all as simple as removing a splinter or dressing a kitchen burn.

“I’m so sorry” you apologize despite his rather subdued reaction to having a vein tugged upon. “I’m sorry, I have to hurt you to stop it.”

He licks his lips, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. They make little flakes of ice collect in his lashes.

“Please” he begs, his voice barely anything. “Please, I can’t move my legs, angel. Go get Nami and Luffy inside.”

“I don’t care if I have to get as buff as Zoro and carry you everywhere for the rest of my life. I’m not leaving you.”

Of all the things Sanji could do, he smiles. His pink, plush lips are starting to gray.

He’s still bleeding. Do better.

“I don’t want you to get cold” he whispers. “Look at your goosebumps, Pretty.”

The laugh comes through the tears.

Oh, my Sanji don’t die. Who else could make me laugh here? Now? Don’t leave me behind.

“Shut up. No more talking. You have to rest.”

“Princess saving the prince?”

You nod. “Princess saving the prince.”

Sanji exhales then, his eyes drifting up to look at the sky. There’s barely anything of him left. The skin of his cheeks is white. His breath is all but gone.

Your Sanji is all but gone.

The little boy that used to peek at you from the kitchen doors of Baratie. Gone.

Swimming in the warm sea together, letting your skin burn under the summer sun. Gone.

Falling in love with him. Knowing you’re in love with him. The pain of being in love with him. Gone

Him, the first person to ever love you, the first person you’ve ever truly loved, the only person in the world you’d die for.

Dead.

Your heart hits your stomach like a boulder.

“Sanji!”

You’re shaking him. Gods, you don’t want to hurt him, but there’s something not right in the way his eyelashes have begun to bat quickly, the way his fingers are death-gripping his clothes.

He’s dead.

He’s gone.

“Sanji” you demand, the hysterics finally bubbling to the surface. “Look at me. Sanji? Please. Please, no. No, no, no, no, don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”

His eyelids drift shut.

You’re weeping now, pathetic in a pile in the bloodied snow, but you pay your shame no mind.

“Sanji!” You snap, enraged at yourself for yelling at him but more enraged at him for dying. “Please don’t leave me alone. I don’t wanna be alone again.”

“Pretty?”

Your tears are dripping onto his skin.

“Sanji?”

He flips his hand, using his finger to gesture you close. You obey.

You expect a whisper, a gentle word or two, but instead Sanji uses what little might he has left to grab a fistful of your shirt and pull your lips against his.

“Hey kid, you should come put something in your stomach.”

The doctor’s voice startles you from your trance, forcing your head back to look at her.

Dr. Kureha lurks behind you, her arms crossed over her chest. You swear that the woman hasn’t slept since you arrived, but she isn’t showing a single sign of being tired. She’s just as agitated as she was when you arrived, just as annoyed.

You haven’t received much gentile from her since your arrival to her castle, but there’s something about her face now that’s soft.

“Eat” she tells you, the demand coming off with an air of sadness. “You’ve got a couple nasty cuts and bruises yourself. You need a good meal.”

You glance back at the man lying before you, Sanji’s perfect face marred with black and blue as he sleeps the day away. As beautiful as he looks, as darling as he is to you, looking at him in this moment is physically painful for you. His entire body seems to be wrapped in bandages. His breathing -to you- sounds a little labored, different than it normally does when you lay your head on his chest for a nap on the deck.

You shrug. “I’m gonna stay with him. Thank you, Doctor.”

A hand comes down on your shoulder. It doesn’t pull or shove, but gives you a soft squeeze.

“You’re an idiot in love” she reminds you, her words accompanied by a small laugh. “Come on. You’re no use to him if you starve to death.”

Kureha’s words ring loudly in your head, but for all the wrong reasons. Sanji is going to wake up hungry, no one from Baratie to make a good meal for him. Sure, he’s taught you how to cook in the years you’ve been best friends, but you’re nothing compared to him and his old coworkers. Looking back at his injuries, the only thought that plagues your mind is the image of Sanji, hungry, panicked, and covered in his cuts and bruises.

“When will he wake up?” You ask her. “He’s gonna be hungry. It makes him nervous.”

The doctor strides up beside you, laying the back of her hand on Sanji’s forehead.

“He’s cooled down” she tells you. “His infection seems better.”

She walks around you then and pinches hard on Sanji’s ankle. He flinches, his beautiful face scrunching, his foot kicking up toward her hand.

“And his spine is resting well, it looks like.”

To see Sanji able to move his legs seems to pull a weight from your shoulders. You tried your best not to let is show, but there was nothing scarier in that moment of finding your crew in the snow than hearing Sanji say he couldn’t feel his legs. You knew that if he did survive his ordeal, he’d be broken to know he’d have to learn how to cook without his ability to walk.

The thing is, you were fully prepared to learn right along with him.

Usopp would lower the counters.

Nami would pay for it.

Zero would be just as mean.

Luffy would be just as demanding for meals.

The thought of your crew makes the first smile in days come to your lips. Of course you had nothing to worry for, nothing to fear.

You look over your shoulder then to peak at your captain. The tan boy lies on his back, long arms tossed from the side of his bed as he snores. You don’t know why, but something about him makes you feel safe. Maybe it’s because you know that he’ll never leave your crew behind. Maybe it’s because you know he couldn’t.

Dr. Kureha resorts to pulling at the collar of your shirt when you get lost in your thoughts. “Get up. We’re getting some food.”

You give Sanji’s hand one last squeeze before rising to your feet.

Kureha is smiling when you face her. “Atta girl. Come on.”

You reluctantly follow her out of the room, shutting the door behind you to let the boys rest without your constant worrying. You know they can’t really feel your anxiety in their sleep, but you can’t help the guilty twinge in your gut that your worry will only scare them.

What a funny thing you can be.

“Chopper wants to eat with us” Kureha tells you once the door is shut. “You mind?”

You cock an eyebrow. “Chopper? Your little reindeer?”

The doctor smirks at you, something poisonous in that smile of hers. “Yeah, my little reindeer.”

You shrug. “He’s precious. I don’t mind, as long I can pet him.”

For some reason, Kureha begins to laugh. “You’ll have to ask him how okay he is with that, but I don’t think he’ll mind if you’re nice.”

Kureha rounds the corner with you into her living space, but as soon as you do, you stop dead in your tracks.

A little…reindeer? Boy? Boy deer?

A little -creature, you decide- sits at the table. They’re tiny, maybe the size of a small child, chubby with little hooves sitting upon the table. Their back legs don’t quite hit the floor, so they swing them back and forth slowly.

They’re damn near the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, and they’re donned in Chopper’s big red hat.

“Chopper” Kureha begins. “Ready for dinner?”

Chopper. This is Chopper, the deer that pulled the sleigh into the castle.

He’s eaten a Devil Fruit. You’re sure of it.

The little reindeer narrows his eyes, but says nothing.

You smile, doing your best to hide the shock. “I’m sorry if I’m invading. I hope you don’t mind, Chopper.”

Upon hearing you speak to him, he seems to settle into his seat at the table. “I don’t mind.”

Oh, that little voice. You want to scoop him up into your arms and never put him down.

You take the seat across from him and continue to look his way as Dr. Kureha meanders over to the stove to grab what looks like a stew from it. Chopper is eyeballing you intensely, the serious look on his face not quite matching how cute he is. His eyes roam your face.

When he makes eye contact with you, he wrinkles his nose. “How do your bruises feel?”

“Good” you assure him. “Dr. Kureha took good care of me.”

You swear that if the reindeer didn’t have fur, he’d be blushing. “Actually, it was me that patched you up.”

You can’t help the way your jaw seems to drop to the table. “You’re a doctor?”

He nods furiously.

Your heart nearly bursts seeing him so filled to the brim with joy. He has such an innocence about him, such a sweetness. He’s just purely kind.

The moment makes you feel something, something akin to when you discovered Sanji was a chef.

You narrow your eyes, watching as Sanji pours cream into a pan sizzling away on the stove. The smell is absolutely heavenly. It’s what got you in the kitchen in the first place, got you to wander away from your parents and hunt down your best friend.

“What are you making?” You wonder, hoisting yourself onto the step stool next to him and peering into the pan.

He smiles, maybe brighter than you’ve ever seen. “Potato purée. It’s a side that Zeff wants to try out.”

The food in the pan looks divine, garlic and potatoes cooking into an aromatic blend. Your stomach growls. Zeff cooked an amazing meal for your family already this evening, but you hesitated to fill your belly with the way your mother was looking at you from the corner of her eye. If Sanji offers to feed you, you may just devour the entire pan yourself.

“Zeff trusts you to cook?” You question. “My mom would kill me if I went anywhere near the stove.”

Sanji snorts a bit. “Fancy pants rich McGee over here. We don’t all have maids that cook for us.”

You frown. There’s never really been too much banter between the two of you, Sanji always acting as the perfect gentleman despite only being ten years old. His attitude is new, and a little off putting. You almost feel the pressure of tears swelling in your bottom lid.

He seems to notice your silence instantly. His face falls as terror overrides his sweet face. “I’m sorry, Pretty” he rushes out. “I just meant that there’s nothing wrong with learning how to cook. I can teach you.”

He grabs a little spoon then, scooping a bit of the mixture he’s preparing and offering it to you.

“Try it” he urges. “I swear, you’ll like it. I work in a restaurant for a reason.”

You hesitate. It isn’t that you don’t love and trust Sanji, but you’ve never seen another child cook in all your life. Your mother has always kept your far away from the kitchen all your life.

“Darling, you’ll burn yourself.”

“Please, you might undercook food and get sick.”

“Hon, you might cut yourself on a knife.”

Huh, Sanji must be pretty brave to be working away in the kitchen. His smile even makes it seem like he’s enjoying himself.

You look up at him, and when you’re met with those bright blue eyes, your skepticism falls away.

You blow softly on the concoction, watching as the steam leaves the spoon and pools around Sanji’s face. He smiles, but you can tell there are nerves behind the dimpled grin.

The liquid sends warmth through your chest the instant it touches your tongue. It’s divine. It may just be a simple side or soup -you aren’t quite sure- but somehow it tastes the way that staying up late and telling ghost stories with Sanji feels. It’s cozy. It’s comfort. It’s perfectly Sanji. 

You smile. “Wow. Sanji, that’s really yummy.”

All the nerves fade from his smile. It becomes even wider. This is the first time you notice that he’s finally lost his front tooth, something you’ve been teasing him about for weeks. 

“Wait until it’s done” he beams. “I’m gonna put it with some salmon and Zeff is gonna let me have my own thing on the menu.”

On and on he goes, chattering away about all the dishes Zeff has been teaching him to make. It gets to a point where you really aren’t too sure what he's describing, but you don’t stop him. It’s rare to see your best friend so animated. All you can do is savor the moment, and log each little smile and laugh to memory.

Dr. Kureha drops a bowl of soup and some bread before you. Some of the soup unceremoniously sloshes out and lands on the table before you. “Eat up, kids.”

Chopper begins to devour his food immediately. You’re amazed that he can hold utensils as well as he can in the divide of his hoof. The little reindeer is full of surprises.

You stir the soup a bit, staring into the bowl. Truth be told, you aren’t really all that hungry. You haven’t been in the two days you’ve been here. Sanji has been your main concern. Knowing that there’s a chance he’ll wake up and not be able to walk has been wholly terrifying to you. Even now with that stress beginning to subside, there’s still no urge in you to eat knowing how starving Sanji is going to be when he wakes. You begin to feel the nerves returning then.

What if he wakes while you’re away? What if he looks for you? What if he’s afraid?

Chopper bats those big, wide eyes up to you.

“You should eat” he prompts you softly. “It‘ll help you heal faster.”

It’s hard not to want to do whatever he tells you in that sweet little voice. He was careful to stay out of sight for the last few days, a skittish thing, and you don’t want to risk doing anything that might scare him away.

You give him a little smile. “Of course. Just thinking.”

He slurps down another spoonful of soup. “What’s bothering you?”

Like a flash, the image of Sanji laying in the snow plagues your mind. You can nearly smell the blood, feel the slick of the liquid on your hands.

“Tired” you half-lie. “It’s been a long few days.”

Before the little reindeer can respond, Dr. Kureha takes a seat at the table with her own bowl of food. “Sitting at blondie’s bedside isn’t going to help that. You need to crawl into a bed and get some sleep.”

You give a half hearted laugh. “Wouldn’t be able to sleep if I couldn’t see him. I’m a little, uh, protective, I suppose.”

You see Dr. Kureha smirk out of the corner of your eye. “He your boyfriend or something?”

Huh.

Boyfriend.

Sanji reaches his hand out to you.

“Come on” he urges. “You can do it. It’s not that bad.”

You cross your arms over your chest and huff. There has to be a mad blush shading your cheeks at this point, but you’re far past caring. “No. I’m terrible at this, Sanji. I’m gonna embarrass the shit out of myself on Friday.”

Sanji laughs. “Stop it. You think whatever guy you’re gonna be dancing with is gonna know what he’s doing?”

“Yes!” You sigh. “Everyone in their weird rich people cult does. It’s like they pop ‘em out knowing which forks go where and how to do a Waltz.”

He softly takes your hand then, pulling you toward him and laying his hand on your hip. It’s a chaste touch, distance between you with fingers laid on the curve of your abdomen, but it still makes your skin positively burn.

You want nothing more than to just close the distance between the two of you. It’s moments like this where he’s borderline impossible not to kiss. It’s like your body is calling for him. You crave the feeling of those rosy lips on you, so curious to just to know.

Sanji takes a small step to the side and urges you to sway with him. “You’re the birthday girl” he continues on. “If you just want to sway around, that’s what you can do and no one can say a thing.”

You huff. “I don’t want to embarrass my mom. Gods know she’ll tell me if I do.”

For the first time since the evening began, Sanji’s smile fades. It’s like watching the sun implode into darkness right before your eyes.

“You’re not embarrassing. Your birthday is supposed to be fun.”

You sigh, stepping a bit closer to Sanji and burying your head in his shoulder. He smells like cigarettes, his hair faintly scented with a citrusy musk. If only this smell could lull you to sleep at night. If only you could spend the nights curled up in his arms, safe from the world by his side. 

He’s right of course. Your birthday is supposed to be fun, but it simply hasn’t been for you in the last few years. Your parents are more than antsy to have you married off the instant you turn eighteen. Every year since you turned thirteen, they’ve been hosting lavish parties of all the highest-ranking naval officers in hopes they’d bring their eligible bachelor sons with them. Your birthdays have become speed dates with every teenaged boy in and above your tax bracket.

“I don’t want to get married next year” you mumble suddenly, speaking against Sanji’s chest.

He exhales softly, the warmth of his breath ruffling your hair. “Do you really think they’re gonna make you?”

You nod. “I think they might give me a few years of grace if I really try to find someone I like, but if I just resist them, I think they’re gonna find someone for me. They’re getting frustrated.”

Sanji hums, his sway stopping as he pulls you against him. “Let’s run away. We can take my shopping boat and go be pirates together.”

A laugh finds its way up from your throat. “Yes, because my marine dad would love his only child becoming a pirate.”

“We won’t tell him” Sanji proclaims, taking your hand and beginning the tiny dance again. “We’ll go find the All Blue together and build our own restaurant. We’ll get rich.”

This makes you laugh a true, gut laugh.

“Sanji” you begin, tilting back in his arms and letting him sway you back and forth with his grip around your waist. “I have no skills that are helpful in a restaurant.”

“Not true!” He informs you through a laugh. “You’re good with your sword. You can chase off the riff raff.”

“So us becoming pirates wouldn’t make us the riff raff?”

He snorts a bit, pulling you back up so the two of you are now face to face.

His soft smile makes your heart go still in your chest.

“We’ll be good riff raff.”

Don’t kiss him. Don’t kiss Sanji. Don’t kiss your best friend.

The door of the Baratie swinging open grabs your attention, both of you turning your heads to see Zeff standing in the doorway.

“Oi, keep some breathing room between ya, got it?” The old cook demands.

Sanji rolls his eyes and lets his hands drop from your hips. The separation is like a death.

Dr. Kureha taps her spoon on the edge of her bowl. “Hey, your head feeling alright kid?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. I’m sorry. I’m exhausted.”

She furrows her brow, scooping more stew into her mouth. You get the feeling that she’s being very observant of you every time she looks upon you, like she’s considering something about you. You’re not sure why. Surely if she’d ask you, you’d tell her, but she doesn’t seem like the kind of person to be outright with emotional questions.

After this momentary stare down, Chopper chimes in from where he sits across from you.

“I know you don’t want to leave your friends, so I can set up a mattress on the floor for you so you can rest.”

Your gaze lingers one more moment on Doctrine before you look to the little reindeer. He’s wearing a wide grin, his teeth showing.

“You don’t have to, Chopper” you tell him softly. “I’m fine, really. I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

The little doctor aggressively shakes his head. “No! You need sleep. I’d be a bad doctor if I let you exhaust yourself without helping you.”

There’s something in that sweet little voice that’s just so hard to say no to. He genuinely just wants to help, make sure you’re healthy. It’s been awhile since your crew has been treated with that sort of heartfelt kindness.

You smile, looking to Dr. Kureha. “I hope that’s okay. We’ve already intruded on your guys enough.”

She shrugs. “Don’t give a shit what you kids do as long as no one gets in the way of treating your friends.”

You hate to admit it, but something about the woman’s harsh tone is rather comforting to you. It reminds you of the way Zeff used to scold you and Sanji.

Chopper slams his spoon down in the bowl then, smiling brightly. “I’ll go get everything set up for you! You need rest.”

He hops down, little hooves clicking against the floor as he exits the room. You could just eat him up with how precious he is. It tickles you a bit, knowing someone so little and cute is something as heavy as a doctor. You wonder then what he’s seen, what he’s been through. It makes you ache a bit.

How could the world be so unkind to someone so small that they feel the need to become a savior?

The doctor dropping her own spoon into her bowl grabs your attention. She turns to you and frowns.

“What you did was pretty intense” she begins, grabbing her own bowl and rising to her feet. “You okay in the head, kid?”

You tilt your head. “What did I do?”

She drops her bowl in the sink, turning on the faucet. “Knowing where and how to grab an artery is impressive. How’d you know what to do?”

You shy away from the strange compliment. When you keep your hands idle for too long, you can still feeling the lukewarm, slippery feeling of gripping the inside of Sanji’s back. It makes your stomach twist, your bile raise.

“I was raised by a marine admiral. You learn a lot of terrible shit when your dad is in the military.”

“Strict?”

You shake your head. “I’m his entire life. Letting me go to be a pirate was the hardest thing he ever did. Part of loving me so much was teaching me how to take care of myself, how to save myself. Sometimes that got dark, I guess.”

Kureha approaches, gesturing to your still-filled bowl. “Eat. That injury on him is never gonna heal all the way. He should be able to walk when he wakes up, but you’re gonna have to do pain management, probably for the rest of his life.

You do as you’re told, scooping another spoonful of chowder into your mouth despite being a little bamboozled by the way her sentences take so many twists and turns.

“How are you kids sleeping at night on your ship? A hammock or swinging bed isn’t gonna cut it for him for a few weeks.”

“Hammocks for the boys” you reply. “I have a bed, though. So does Nami.”

“Nami’s the girl with the infection?”

You nod.

“Well” she begins as she takes a seat across from you at the table again. “If he’s your little boyfriend, it shouldn’t be a problem to let him sleep in your bed for awhile.”

There it is again, that word.

Boyfriend.

“Yeah, that won’t be an issue” you assure her, knowing damn well that she can see the wild blush on your cheeks. “I’d do anything to make sure he gets better.”

The doctor smirks and looks as though she’s going to continue to speak, but the conversation is cut off by a bloodcurdling scream from the other room. You turn so quickly that your back cracks and aches, the speed at which you fly to your feet making your knees creak.

Dr. Kureha shoots up out of her chair just as Chopper comes barreling into the room, little legs carrying him as fast as they can.

“Help!” He shrieks, dashing under the bed Nami rests in. “They’re gonna eat me, Doctorine!”

Before either of you can ask anything of the little reindeer, Luffy and Sanji come spilling into the room through the doorway, both shirtless and bruised with crazed looks in their eyes.

“Sanji! Luffy!” You snarl, that familiar need to scold the boys rising to your chest the instant you catch sight of their misbehavior. “Stop! What the fuck?”

Luffy points wildly at Chopper who’s still hiding under the bed. “Sanji’s gonna cook that talking reindeer and make me food!”

Chopper screams. You can’t help but begin to laugh.

“Guys, that’s Chopper. You can’t eat him” you inform them as Dr. Kureha reaches under the bed, pulling Chopper from his hiding place. “He’s a doctor.”

The little reindeer growls at the boys, but can’t get down from Doctorine’s arms. Luffy looks horribly unsatisfied.

“What can we eat, then?” He wonders, a pout on his face. “I’m starving! Food!”

Just as you’re about to answer him, you notice Sanji seem to come to his senses. He reaches his arm around his midsection, slipping down until he’s leaning against the doorframe. He winces in pain the instant his back makes contact with the stone wall.

“Sanji?”

You join him on the floor, reaching out to pull him into your chest and relieve his back from the pressure of the wall. He buries his face into your shoulder, taking a deep, shaking breath. You feel the tears. They’re hot and dreadful, but as much as you want to take his face in your hands and wipe away his agony, you don’t want to embarrass him in front of Luffy.

“Why the hell are you two morons out of bed?” Doctorine snaps, setting Chopper back down onto the floor.

Luffy ignores her, going your side. “Sanji? You okay?”

Sanji nods, lifting his head then and plastering a smile onto his face. “Yep, just sore.”

Doctorine kneels down by the three of you and presses her hand down in Sanji’s lower back without saying a word. He falls into you again, crying out into the crook of your neck. You swipe Dr. Kureha’s hand away.

“Stop” you snap at her. “You’re hurting him.”

“I don’t think he re-injured anything” she determines, taking no note of your aggression. “But the area was torn apart something nasty. You need to get back into bed and stay there.”

You run your hands through Sanji’s hair. He’s sweaty, a bit unkempt. It’s a rare sight for your stylish and put-together best friend.

“Come on” your urge him. “Let’s get you back into bed. I need some sleep, too. I’ll stay with you.”

He nuzzles into your neck. It sends a shockwave through you. He’s so delicate, so sweet. You almost have the urge to release him from your arms so that you don’t hurt him.

“How can I say no when a beautiful woman is gonna sleep in the same room as me?” he teases despite the twinges of pain in his voice.

You giggle a bit. “I’ll sleep in your bed if that’s what gets you back in there.”

Sanji doesn’t need to be told twice to crawl into bed with you. He allows you and Luffy to help him to his feet, holding onto you tightly.

“Go” Kureha urges the two of you. “Both of you need to get your asses to sleep.”

Sanji leans on you the entire time you walk back to his assigned bed, nearly collapsing when the two of you get close enough for him to lie down.

“Sanji” you fret. “My God. What were you thinking, jumping up like that when you’re hurt?”

He groans as you help him lie back down on his belly. “I was thinking that my captain was hungry and I had to feed him.”

You giggle and begin to stroke his hair. “How heroic. How do you feel?”

He does his best to shrug. “Terrible, but better because there’s a beautiful lady in bed with me.”

You roll your eyes, but there’s no denying the blush that rises to your cheeks.

“Sanji” you begin, feeling knots start to tie in your gut. “Do uh, do you remember anything about me finding you guys?”

He lets his eyes drift shut, taking a deep breath.

“Hm. No, I don’t think so. I’m sorry you had to see that. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, Pretty.”

“Me?” You wonder. “Sanji, you fractured your spine and severed an artery. I haven’t been through anything compared to you.”

Sanji’s voice comes quiet, a bit shaky. “I what?”

Ah. He wouldn’t really know the extent of his injuries. He’s been unconscious for days.

“I separated from you guys to try and get those animals to back off. I found you when I climbed up the side of the mountain. You told me you couldn’t move your legs and you were bleeding from your back bad.”

He opens his eyes and rolls his head around so he can look up at you. There are tears. They kill you.

“Pretty, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.”

You shrug, trying to keep the memory of Sanji in the snow out of your mind.

“You told me you didn’t want to die” you whispered. “You told me to leave you, though.”

He reaches for your hand and gives it a tight squeeze. Even the simple touch gets your heart racing.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

You kneel down beside him so you can look into his eyes, smiling to try and soothe his ever-growing worry.

“Don’t apologize for getting Nami here safely, Sanji. You saved her life” you remind him.

“I scared you” he whispers. “I’m sorry, Pretty.”

You gently boop his nose, making him smile. “I love you. Don’t apologize.”

It might just be the cold, but a blush rushes to his cheeks at your words. Goddamn, he’s too sweet for you. He’s practically giving you cavities by just smiling at you.

You lower your gaze then, looking down into your hands.

There’s one piece of information about this ordeal that you haven’t shared with Sanji just yet.

Something in you doesn’t particularly want to tell him that he kissed you. Ever since it happened, you’ve been going back in forth in your mind, trying to decide what it could mean.

Did he just kiss you because he was scared, stressed? Was he delusional from all the blood he had lost?

Did he truly mean it?

Every option would send you reeling. If he didn’t mean it, you’d be heartbroken and a little embarrassed. Years of loving him quietly would end in a faux kiss brought on by pain and delusion.

If he did mean it, you could have everything you’ve always wanted. You could be with him.

“You can’t be with him. It’s not an option.”

Your mother paces around the room as she speaks, her hands tangled in her hair.

“You can’t be with him” she repeats, her voice filled to the brim with venom. “No. Will you please say something to her?”

You look to your father, vision blurred by the tears in your eyes. He rubs his hand down his face.

“Isn’t this a non issue?” He begins. “If Zeff won’t let her marry the damn kid, what’s the problem?”

Your mother throws her hands up in the air as if to surrender. “Right, because he’d say no if we went to him and said ‘hi Zeff, do you want your unruly, rude son who’s probably going to be impossible to marry off to marry into our wealthy, well-respected family?’”

“Don’t be rude to Sanji” you mutter, coming to your friend’s rescue being the only thing you can think to do. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“He gives customers concussions on a weekly basis! He’s a mess! He’s a waiter!”

“He’s a cook” you correct her. “He’s smart, and he’s kind, and he respects me unlike the half the morons you’ve tried to set me up with.”

Your mother points at you with a venomous look on her face. “Don’t you cop an attitude with me. Your father and I have been busting our butts for the last three years to try and find someone respectable for you to marry, someone that can take care of you, and the only time you ever show any interest in a man is for Sanji?”

“Honey, please-”

“Don’t” -your mother’s accusatory finger flies to point at your dad- “Defend her. We’ve given her everything she could ask for for the last nineteen years and now she’s trying to put me in an early grave.”

“You don’t think you’re overreacting a little bit?” Your father argues. “She has enough training to where she could become a marine if she wanted to and pay her own way. I don’t think it’s completely necessary to dictate who she marries if she proves she can take care of herself.”

“A woman’s husband is supposed to take care of her, not the other way around.”

“Is that why you married me?”

The room falls silent after your father’s words fall into the air. You can feel their weight as if it were you they were directed at, feel the way they must have slammed straight into your mother’s chest and taken her breath away. You almost feel sorry for her.

Your mother lowers her gaze, staring down at the expensive pair of shoes your father surely bought for her.

You look to your dad. He’s staring at your mother with intensity, his eyes dark. You’ve never heard your father raise his voice at your mother in nineteen years. He’s always soft with her, kind. It reminds you much of the way that Sanji is with you.

Finally, your mother looks back up and sighs. “I love you because you’re a strong man and you take care of me and our daughter.”

“And I love Sanji because he respects me and makes me feel safe. Is that not enough?” You interrupt, the tears now flowing down your cheeks in excess.

Your mother shakes her head. “That’s all well and good until you realize that love isn’t the only part of a relationship. There’s financial and domestic things you need to take into account.”

Your father rolls his eyes. “I just said that she can become a marine if she wants to. Does it bother you that much to have a man cooking for her and not the other way around?”

“It’s not the cooking that bothers me” she snaps back. “It’s the fact that she’s the breadwinner in their marriage. What happens when she has babies? Who works? Who makes money to take care of the kids?”

“What if we don’t want kids?”

Your mother audibly gasps. “Don’t even say things like that. You come from an honorable and respected family. Not having children is social suicide for a woman in politics.”

“Bold of you to assume I care about politics and social standing.”

“So you want to be the breadwinner for your cook husband, but you don’t care about the very thing that could provide you with money?”

You bury your head in your hands and sigh. There’s practically no reasoning with your mother when she gets like this. She’s always been one to make everything about herself.

Your career has to be good enough to maintain her social standing.

Your marriage has to be politically upward.

Your have to have children so she can have grandchildren.

There are days where you feel like it’s her world that you’re just living in. You’re sure your father often feels the same way, but it’s rare that he argues against her like this. It seems that his appreciation for your and Sanji’s friendship is bolstering him this evening.

“I can’t deal with this anymore” your mother grumbles.

You lift your head from your hands to find your mother exiting the room.

“Come find me when you’re done being immature” she announces, unclear when she’s talking about you or your father. “You are not marrying Sanji. Don’t ever suggest it again.”

With that, she’s gone, the door slamming shut behind her. She leaves behind the same emptiness she always leaves. It feels like awkwardness, but a little more wicked, a little more damaging. Just like always, all you can do is sit and wait for the feeling to end.

You and your father sit in silence for what feels like too long. Neither of you speak. Neither of you even look at each other. The only sound to be heard is the pattering of the light rain on the windows of your home.

“Hon?”

You look up to your dad. There’s a melancholy expression on his face that you’ve never seen.

“I’m sorry” he tells you quietly. “Why didn’t you come to me with this? Why didn’t you say something?”

It’s so sick that you nearly laugh. “She just reacted like that and you’re asking me why I didn’t tell you sooner?”

You dad looks down and chuckles. “I guess. Why didn’t you tell just me?”

You shrug. “I don’t exactly want to talk about the boy I have a crush on with my dad.”

He waves you over then, patting the spot on the couch beside him. You rise to your feet and join him. He wraps his arm around you and pulls you close the moment you sit down. He feels like home, smells like home. If you were to close your eyes, you could imagine falling asleep in the family room and waking to him carrying you to your room.

“I like Sanji” he tells you, bringing you out of your thoughts. “I do. I think he respects you and he’s a nice kid.”

“Then why does mom have such an issue with me having a crush on him?”

He shakes his head. “Your mother comes from money. The only thing she knows is what she was taught. You need to give her grace when you’re trying to assimilate her with different ways of thinking.”

You snort. “And you’re just okay with that?”

“No” he reveals. “But everyone has something. You need to learn to live with the flaws of whoever you marry.”

“That doesn’t seem right.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

You lean your head on your father’s shoulder. He hugs you close, giving a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“Dad?”

“Hm?”

You bury your face in his shoulder when you speak, hoping maybe that your words will be muffled enough so he wouldn’t hear you.

“I love him.”

“You okay, Pretty?”

You shake your head. “Sorry. Thinking.”

“What about, my darling?” Sanji wonders, the pet name making your head spin.

His voice is so sweet to you, gentle and soft like the warmth of crawling to bed after a long day. It’s your home, your comfort.

You lean your head on the edge if his bed, staring into those captivating blue eyes.

“Thinking about you” you tell him honestly. “You scared me, Sanji. You getting hurt is one thing, but you told me to leave you to die.”

He struggles then to roll onto his side. His groan is painful to you, making your already tired heart ache. He looks at you with sad eyes once he’s settled back in.

“I’m sorry, beautiful” he whispers. “My worst fear is something hurting you because of me. My worst nightmare is hurting you.”

You reach your hand to him and begin to trace little patterns on his arm. His eyes drift closed as you do, something resembling peace flooding his strained features.

“I will never leave you to die” you breathe. “Don’t ever ask me to again, Sanji.”

He appears to heed the seriousness in your voice, nodding his head. “Never again, my love.”

My love.

You could die. It would be less painful than this pulling in your heart, this desire to be with him, to touch him. You can lie all you want and say that you can handle the distance, handle the yearning, but it hurts. It’s hurt for ten years.

“Sanji?”

“Princess?”

You stroke the back of your finger down his cheek. He exhales, warm breath flooding over your palm.

“Are you sure you don’t remember anything about me finding you guys?” You press. “Nothing at all?”

He darts his eyes away, his lower lip falling between his teeth to be gently nibbled. You’d sell your soul for that to be your lip.

“No” he sighs. “Why? Did something else happen? You really don’t seem like yourself.”

Should you just let it go?

You shrug. “I…I don’t know if I should tell you, to be honest.”

He narrows his eyes. “If it’s bothering you, I’d like to know. I can fix whatever’s making you unhappy.”

It isn’t making you unhappy. It’s the one thing you’ve always wanted.

“You…”

“I?”

You can feel it now, the roughness of  his lips, the warmth of his breath against your tongue in the bitter cold.

You crave it. You feel mad in wanting for it.

“Sanji, you kissed me” you blurt out, the words sounding foreign on your tongue. “You wanted me to come closer and I thought you were gonna say something to me, but you kissed me, and then Doctorine showed up and you passed out.”

A silence falls over the two of you once all your loud babbling is done. Sanji is white as a sheet, just staring through you as though you’re no longer in front of him. His mouth is slightly agape. Those eyes are blank, none of their usual joy swimming in them.

You pull your hand away from his cheek. “Sanji?”

His eyes seem to focus back on you. He swallows harshly before forcibly hiking himself up onto his elbow.

You lay a hand on his shoulder, trying gently to guide him back to bed.

He doesn’t budge.

“I…I kissed you?”

You nod.

“I” -he points to himself- “kissed you?”

“Yes” you clarify. “You kissed me. On the lips.”

He reaches his hand up and grips his hair. There’s panic in his eyes, terror that has drained all the color from every inch of his skin.

“I am so - I mean, I didn’t mean to…oh my Gods. I didn’t mean to offend you or-or upset you. Oh gods. I-”

You begin to softly hush him then, cutting off his panic. Your hand comes up to cradle his icy skin.

“Sanji” you soothe. “It’s fine. You didn’t offend me.”

He shakes his head. If you didn’t know better, you’d say he was on the verge of tears.

“I am so, so sorry” he whispers. “I never meant to do anything like that without asking you. I don’t know what I was thinking, kissing you without your permission.”

You stroke your thumb along his cheek. “You have my permission.”

His eyes go so wide you swear they’re going to pop out of his head. “What?”

You heart is slamming. You can hear your blood flowing in your ears, but you ignore it.

“To kiss me” you tell him, your voice wavering. “You have my permission to kiss me again. If you want to, of course.”

From where your hand has wandered down to his neck, you can feel his pulse quickening with every passing second. He has no words for you. There’s pure shock washed over his eyes. His stare is glazed, locked on your face with a dropped jaw.

You try to give him a comforting smile.

“Can I kiss you?” You ask.

He licks his lips.

“Please. Please kiss me.”

You do as is requested of you. You close the distance, gently guiding Sanji’s lips to yours.

He doesn’t move at first, just lets you press your lips against his. They’re rough, dry. His mouth is hot, maybe from the fever, maybe from his insanely aggressive pulse.

He seems to catch on after a second. His hand comes up to stroke your cheek, pulling you closer so that he can truly feel you, taste you.

This can’t be happening right now. I’m kissing Sanji. I’m kissing the love of my life.

He hums into your lips. The vibration is stunning. You whine, leaning over the bed and letting your hand up into Sanji’s hair. You don’t care that it’s greasy. You don’t care that his teeth aren’t brushed and his skin is dry. He’s safe. He’s with you.

He’s kissing you.

The last thing you want to do is pull away from him, but you can feel his body beginning to shake from holding up his own weight. You pull your lips away only to have his give chase.

“Sanji” you giggle. “Come on. You need to lay down and rest.”

“I need to kiss you” he breathes. “I need to kiss you enough to make up for the last ten years of not kissing you, my sweet. I need to show you how much love I have bottled up for you.”

Your smile is so big that your jaw is starting to hurt. “Ji, I love you. We have a lot of time.”

He nuzzles his nose against yours. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I looked out the Baratie doors and saw you sitting there with your parents.”

You softly kiss the tip of his cold nose. “Lay down. Rest, my love.”

He gives a breathy chuckle. “Say that again.”

You shake your head, not quite understanding his words.

“My love?”

“Again.”

You kiss him before speaking against his lips. “My love.”

He finally, settles laying back down on his side and letting his head rest against the pillow. You rise to your feet.

“Do you want me to sleep on the floor?” You wonder. “I don’t want to make it hard for you to sleep.”

He shakes his head, a nearly fearful expression on his face. “My queen should never sleep on the floor, not a day in her life. Get in bed.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You slide in beside him, his arm immediately coming up to wrap tightly around your waist.

It all feels right, perfect. His arm fits over you like a puzzle piece, like you were made to lay in the curve of his body.

“I love you, Sanji” you breathe.

He kisses the back of your head. “I love you. Rest. You deserve a good night of sleep.”

You snuggle even closer to Sanji, letting the beating of his heart lull you into your first sleep in days.

~

“You’ve barely slept in days.”

Nami puts her hands on your shoulders as she speaks, gently rubbing the aching muscles.

You shake your head. “I’m sleeping just fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Vivi and I can help take care of him, you know” she reminds you, her voice softer than it normally is. “He’s much better behaved now that he’s actually getting attention from a woman.”

You laugh, reaching up to softly ruffle Nami’s hair. “I’ve got him. I’m not exactly complaining that I get to cuddle and massage my boyfriend all day long.”

Nami gives you a laugh, rolling her eyes. “First of all, ew. Second of all, what’s it like? I mean, I know you’ve had a crush on him since forever.”

You feel a hot blush rising to your cheeks. Though it’s been a few weeks now since you and Sanji first told the crew you were dating, you still find yourself getting flustered whenever someone brings it up.

You shrug. “It uh, it seems normal, weirdly enough. We’ve been best friends for so long that the only thing that’s really different is uh, well all the kissing, I guess.”

Nami wrinkles her nose, but the smile remains on her face. “That’s disgusting. I’m happy for you, though.”

You grab the little tray up off the counter that you’ve been filling with water, snacks for Sanji, and his medicine. “Thanks. I’m sorry we’ve been kind of invading the bedroom lately. I promise that as soon he can sleep on his back, he’s going back to the boy’s room.”

She waves you off. “I don’t care. If he dies we have to go back to eating Zoro’s food. No one wants that.”

“Of course” you tell her, trying to stifle the laugh that’s coming up from your throat. “Tell everyone we’ll be up for dinner in a bit. I’m gonna wake him up.”

Nami nods, leaving you then as she makes her way from the kitchen.

Despite Sanji’s injuries, the last few weeks have been soft, peaceful. You spend your days cuddled in bed beside him, rubbing his back and listening to him tell you stories Zeff used to read to him as a little boy. You make him food and nap at his side. When he gets bored, the two of you head up to the deck where you bask together in the sun.

Sanji is napping away when you enter your bedroom. He snores softly, one arm hanging over the edge of the bed, both long legs sticking out from under the duvet.

You smile. This is all you’ve wanted, all you’ve ever dreamed of. Sanji has been your safety since you were just a child. You’ve never been satisfied dating, no one ever able to make you feel the way Sanji has made you feel. He’s stolen your heart, loved you so much. Who could ever compete?

You set the tray of Sanji’s refreshments on your bedside table and reach a hand out to gently jostle his shoulder.

“My love?” You hum. “Sweetheart, you need to get up and take your medicine so we can go have dinner.”

He yawns, one eye peeking open to look up at a you. Instantly, a smile lights up his face.

Gods, he’s your sun and stars.

“Hi” he begins. “How long was I sleeping?”

“A few hours. It was adorable. You were snoring.”

He scrunches up his nose, unable to hide the blush that rushes to his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Pretty. Do I keep you up with the snoring?”

You shake your head. “I love it. It reminds me that you’re next to me.”

The blush grows. You’ve loved seeing how much you can fluster him in the last few weeks. The smallest compliments make him blush. He whines and keens into every little kiss, every touch. It makes you want to kiss him until you die.

“Come on” you urge him. “You need to put something in your stomach and take your meds. Dr. Chopper’s orders.”

He snorts and hauls himself up until he’s leaning against your headboard. “The reindeer is a doctor. We’re gonna let the reindeer do surgery on us?”

You cock an eyebrow. “The reindeer already did surgery on you.”

Your lover visibly shudders. “With his hooves?”

“Worse. With his deer-man hands.”

Sanji leans his head back against the wall and groans, eliciting a booming laugh from your chest.

“Come on” you prod him. “It’s not that weird.”

He glances at you with faux terror in his eyes. “It is that weird” he assures you. “The reindeer saw me naked.”

“Chopper saw your ass.”

Another horrified groan, another belly laugh.

Gods, have you missed this goofy side of Sanji. There’s been a bit of a melancholic side to him for the last little while, maybe even since your journey with the crew began. You had always just brushed it off as homesickness, but in the days since he’s begun his bed-rest recovery, he’s been back to his charming, silly self.

“I love you when you’re like this” you inform him, flopping down on your belly beside him.

He downs the medication Chopper gave him before tilting his head at you. “Like what?”

“Happy. Rested.”

He looks down into his hands then, seeming to consider your words. On one hand, you know that the last few weeks have been a little anxiety inducing for him. Your other crew mates have had no choice but to start helping out in the kitchen, and losing control over his most sacred space always leaves Sanji in a sour mood.

On the other hand, you know he was desperately in need of some rest. He doesn’t lay his head down at night until he’s sure the kitchen is thoroughly cleaned and the next day’s breakfast is prepped. He wakes up before the sun to ensure that everyone on the crew has hot coffee and a filling breakfast the instant they roll out of bed.

He lays his hand on your cheek then, beginning to stroke your lips with his thumb. His hands smell strange, like berries and summer.

Was he using the hand cream in your bedside table?

“I don’t wanna go back to sleeping in the idiot room” he tells you, the insult coming off his lips so softly, so sweetly. “How am I supposed to sleep alone when I know the most beautiful woman in the world is sleeping right down the hall? How can I go back to waking up to Zoro’s ugly mug when I’ve been seeing you every morning?

You kiss the calloused fingers that are running along your lips.

(Yes, he’s been stealing your hand cream.)

“When you do your watches at night, we’ll have slumber parties” you propose. “We’ll drink tea and eat snacks.”

He smiles. “As much as I adore the idea of tea under the stars together, there’s nothing I’ll miss more than holding you while you sleep.”

You smile. As much as you want Sanji better, you hate that he’ll be leaving your room in the next few nights. You spent so long dreaming he was beside you only to wake in despair, clutching at your pillows as if you could magically pull him from the sheets. The thought of being in that place again, reaching to hold him and finding nothing but a cold bed is enough to make you panic just a bit.

“I’ll ask Nami if I can have weekly sleepovers” you decide. “I’ll pay her. She’ll probably love that.”

Sanji boops the tip of your nose. “A genius idea, my brilliant love.”

You glance at the clock on the wall then, the sudden twinge in your stomach reminding you that the two of you are late for dinner.

“Come on” you urge him, swinging your legs off the bed and stretching your arms up over your head. “Let’s go eat dinner. Luffy’s gonna eat everything before we have a chance to have any.”

Sanji gives a melodramatic frown then. “Hm. Can I stay here and kiss you instead? Your lips are better than anything Moss can throw together.”

Oh, that’s tempting. Over the last few weeks, Sanji has been nothing but chaste and a gentleman with you. He doesn’t touch until he’s told he can. He doesn’t kiss you with any sort of vigor until you’ve signaled it’s alright. He holds your hand. He holds doors open for you. He pulls chairs out for you. Unbelievably to you, getting him to make out with you the few times he has took a bit of effort. He feared that every movement of his hands would scared you off. He was worried you wouldn’t like the taste of his lips, the way his tongue moved, the roughness of his hands.

He tasted like cigarettes and mint.

The two of you had a good laugh about your best friend’s tongue all the sudden being in your mouth.

The calloused skin of his hands reminded you of every dish he’d ever cooked for you, every fight he’d ever fought to protect you.

“I wish” you tell him. “I think they’re all going to grab a drink at that pub in town after dinner. I’ll volunteer to watch the ship, and we can spend some time together.”

His smile, somehow, grows.

If you could spend the rest of your life staring at the joy on his face, you would.

[adrift-in-thyme]

I saw your post about requesting things for your Fairy Time AU and have a question. Does this AU include any of the weaknesses the Fae have in real wild folklore (ex. Iron)?

Oh, maybe you could write a little snippet with Time/Hyrule debunking common fairy myths with the rest of the group?

First off I’m SO SO SORRY for the long wait!! My writing motivation flew out the window and didn’t return until today. Tysm for being patient <333

ALSO, this got unexpectedly angsty (though was it really unexpected? This is me we’re talking about XD). So sorry about that

CW for mentions of injury, specifically burn wounds, and mind control

—————————————-

Time expects questions. After all, it is only natural that in the face of the information they have managed to uncover, the heroes would wonder. A fairy is a mystical thing, mysterious even to those as closely acquainted as they. And to learn that blessed blood runs through two of their companions is no small thing.

But the queries that come, pelting like raindrops, are different than he anticipated.

“Magic,” Legend says when the sun is high and the heroes prepare for battle, “can it harm you in ways it doesn’t others? Mortals, I mean.”

“What about salt?” It is Wild who asks, when they have set up camp for the night. He peers at the rock salt in his hand as though it is liable to attack. “I’ve heard fairies don’t like it.”

“Can fairies die?” Wind asks with eyes so large, Time imagines he can see the Great Sea roiling within them. “In ways humans can’t?”

Iron, curses, traps to ensnare — they have heard of them all. And now, they wonder about them all.

It’s touching, Time decides as he and Hyrule respond to their queries. Or attempt to. It is difficult to reply to things that spear their deepest worries, their most intimate wounds. That dredge up memories long thought buried and fling them into the light of day.

But yes, this protective instinct, this reckless kindness is touching. Knowledge is power, especially where Hyrule’s saviors are concerned. Obtaining it can be the difference between success and defeat.

From anyone else, such queries would be little more than flaming arrows, flying towards the heart. And truthfully, Time must shove aside that soul-deep instinct to hold up his shield to stave them off. The words that usher from his lips, the answers he gives, could very well doom him.

They have — unspoken though they were — many times before.

“Iron is the fae’s greatest weakness,” he whispers, a secret that burns like the material he references. “However, spells, when properly cast, are just as dangerous.”

“Salt doesn’t harm us though,” Hyrule clarifies, his voice a summer’s day breeze. “And neither does your cooking, champion.”

Wild laughs at that, a sound like water singing over river stones.

Wind’s question is the hardest to answer, though. In a way, the reply is cloaked within the others, enveloped in the unveiling of their deepest frailties.

Iron will sear a fae’s skin clean off their bones, mangle their wings into masses of excruciating matter.

Spells will enslave them, transform them into monsters that devour their own kin. Or simply wipe their minds clean, enslave them to a purpose they can no longer remember to resist.

Yes, many things can kill a fairy. But the thing that truly does them in (the thing Time sometimes wonders about whether it will do him in) is not unique to fae-kind.

Fairies, like mortals, care deeply.

(Though, perhaps that care they hold inside goes further than even mortal capabilities. Perhaps, the protective instinct, the need to guard and heal and care for is unnatural. Perhaps, it always has been and Time has only failed to notice it.)

(Perhaps, the love he sees in Malon’s eyes when he wraps his arms around her waist and holds her close, the teasing affection in Warriors’ when he claps a hand on Time’s shoulder, the vulnerability in Twilight’s when Time admits his pride…perhaps, those are not quite the same stuff as the emotion in his own heart.)

(He will never know. He is content with that.)

Regardless, this love is the greatest danger fairies face. For when their loved ones are in danger, when evil threatens the people whose caring hands embrace their very souls, a fairy is helpless to stand back and do nothing.

The weaknesses that plague them — their small size and precious, fragile wings, these make a fairy vulnerable. But their willingness to lunge into the fire, that is what causes them to burn.

[lainiespicewrites]

Electric Summer pt 5

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long but please let me know what you think! and Enjoy!!

Plot: Sy and Lainie lead the kids in a scavenger hunt, spend some time at the beach and catch up finally spending some quality time together.

Warnings: Cursing, explicit language, fingering, orgasm

Not Beta'd, I claim my mistakes and will die on that hill lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lainie come on, the boys are catching up!” Emma called from the front of our group. I laughed and shook my head. 

“The boys,” I said, “are still one clue behind us, and they’re going the wrong way.” The girls laughed. 

“Okay but we still don’t know where we’re going!” Emma groaned. The girls stopped and turned to me. “Will you look at the clue again?” She asked, holding the card out. I nodded and took it from her. I read over the words on the page. ‘Frisbee, No! Football! Softball? Maybe flashlight tag! Just don’t wander too far from the pack when its dark or you’ll get lost in the woods.’ I thought for a moment while the girls continued to bicker. 

“It’s gotta be the softball field by the lake!” Nikki argued. 

“They said there won’t be two clues in one area, we already found our clue there under home plate!” Emma said. I stared at the card for a little longer and it clicked. I knew exactly where we were going. And if the boys had caught up then Logan would too. 

“Girls follow me! There’s no more time for arguing, come on!” I spun on my heels and we took off in the other direction. 

“Where are we going?” One of them squealed from behind me. 

“We’re going for  a hike!” I said. They didn’t argue but the puzzled look on their faces was priceless. I lead them to the opening of the path in the forest. 

“What does this have to do with a sports field?” Nikki asked. 

“You’ll see,” I said. “Hurry I think I hear the boys!” We took off in the woods. I tried to remember the path but it had been years since I’d been on this path. And it hadn’t been in the daylight. 

“You’re gonna let the girls beat us?” I heard Sy say somewhere behind us. They were catching up. The twigs snapped under our feet as I started to run quickly down the path trying to remember. 

“They’re catching up!” Emma called. 

“We can’t out run Sy have you seen that guy?” Nikki panted.  I looked back at the girls and laughed. 

“Come on, don't quit on me now! We’re almost there! I think..” I snickered. 

“You think?” One of them questioned from behind me. Instead of answering I lead them on a sharp left off the path through a small space in the trees. The boys were right behind us. Logan knew exactly where he was going. We had to find the last clue first. The counselors had a cheat sheet to help lead to the clue but we were only allowed to lead our campers to the right area not help them find the clue. The girls had to do this by  themselves. 

“Where do we even look? It’s all grass and trees!” Emma was extremely competitive and her brother was in Sy’s cabin. She was hellbent on not letting the boys win. 

“Read the clue again,” I suggested. 

“I’ve read it like 10 times! You’re the one that got us here!!” she cried. It took everything in me to hold back my laughter. I forgot how dramatic teenagers were. It wasn’t so long ago that I was one. 

“Okay, calm down,” I said softly. 

“Lainie this is no time for calm!” she said. Just then Ethan and the rest of the boys came running through the trees. “See!!” she said. 

“They haven’t found it yet!” one of the boys said. And they started running around the field flipping over rocks and shaking tree limbs. 

Sy stood leaning against a tree with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. I walked over and watched our kids all searching in a panic. It was chaos. 

“That …is your strategy?” I asked. Watching one of the boys attempt to climb up a tree. 

“Got us this far.” he said tearing his eyes away from the group and looking over at me. “You worried we’re gonna beat you?” He raised an eyebrow. I laughed so hard I snorted. I blushed covering my face. 

“Not a chance, pretty boy.” I smiled and bit my lip. Sy smiled and inched closer. 

“You remember this spot?” He asked his voice just above a whisper. I nodded. My cheeks felt even hotter. 

“I do. You got us in trouble.” I said. 

“That’s not how I remember it,” He chuckled. We heard a loud gasp from one of the girls. 

“I found something!” immediately the boys groaned. 

“You cheated!” Ethan yelled. Nikki rolled her eyes. 

“We did not cheat, if you guys didn’t search like cavemen maybe you’d have found something! Whatcha got Em?” She asked her. 

Emma stared at the little charm in her hand confused. 

“It’s not a card like the others but it has our cabin letter on it like it's supposed to.” she said. I walked over and looked at it Trying to hide the smile on my face. Logan and I of course knew what the twist at the end was. “What is it?” she asked gesturing to the charm. 

“It looks like it’s incomplete. Look on the side, that’s a tiny magnet. Like it’s supposed to connect to something, and on the back where our let is… it started to spell and …but it’s cut off.”

“So we have to help the boys find their piece?” Nikkie asked. 

“Yup,” Sy nodded leaning in over my shoulder. “We have to return back to campfire site with our complete charm as a family before everyone else to win the scavenger hunt.” He said. Without another word the kids scattered. They broke off into teams of two each boy and girl. Searching together. 

“Where did you find your piece?” Chase asked Emma frantically.  

Nikki yelled at Ethan as he tried to climb another tree. They were all workign hard searching to find the other piece.

 All except one. 

Beckett still lagged behind, I followed Sy as he approached him. 

“Hey man, How was Ryleigh, when you she left?” he asked him. He was startled not expecting us to be there. I watched as he tried to put on a face for us. Trying to mask his anxiety. I was a pro at that, or I thought I was. Logan always managed to see throught it when we were kids. I’m sure he could now too. 

“She was okay, her ankel was really hurting, though. I just feel bad.” Sy nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“That’s not your fault Beck. Stuff like this happens all the times. Lainie and I had a friend that sprained her ankle during a game of kick ball while we we’re here. Accidents happen. Don’t beat yourself up bud.” Beckket nodded sadly.

“Yeah,” He mumbled softly. “Uh her parents said if her ankles not broken and if she can take it easy she can come back to camp. And the nurse told Ryleigh while we were waiting she doesn’t think it’s broken.” He said. I gave him a soft smile. 

“Thats great. I’m sure she’ll be just fine and we’ll be seeing her in no time. You guys were becoming good friends huh?” I asked. I looked over at Sy and he was already looking in my direction trying to hide a smirk. Beckett ran his hand through his hand nervously and face got red. 

“Yeah. She’s just really cool and um…”

“WE FOUND IT!” Ethan yelled from across the field. 

“That’s our Que,” Logan smiled and nodded toward the others. We quickly joined them and found that they had in fact found the other piece connecting the two into one charm.  

“What did we find exactly?” Nikki asked. 

I observed the charm in Emma’s hand. It was round. Almost spiraled with little square pieces etched into it. 

“It looked like an old film reel. But we’ll have to find out!” 

“She’s right! We better head back to the campfire circle before we lose first place let’s go!” Sy called. He managed to get them all amped up again. Even Beckett. It was cute how competitive he was still. I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me. 

“What’s that all about?” He smiled as we jogged behind the kids following them back to camp. 

“Nothing,”I said, “you're just, still you.” I blushed softly. Logan chuckled. 

“I’d hope so.”  He raised an eyebrow and I laughed 

“No, I mean, you really haven’t changed since we were here, it’s …cute” I smiled. He smiled big, pulling me in and stopping to kiss my head. 

  “You’re still that same beautiful girl I never stopped thinking about.” He said. I looked up at him for a moment. I was lost in the way he was looking at me. Like I was the only thing that existed in that moment.  

“Lainie! Sy! Come on! Carrie and Andrew’s Cabins are catching up we have to go!” Emma called. Our trance broke and we both looked at each other wide eyed before we started running again. An awkward giggle escaped my lips but the moment had passed, we didn’t have time to discuss it anymore. We quickly caught up to our campers and we jogged the rest of the way to the campfire, which was about as far away as a football field. We just beat the other cabin there by about 20 seconds. 

Emma and Nikki and Ethan all ran to the center where the camp director Becca was waiting  for them. 

“Alright! Our first place scavenger hunt Winners!  Cabin C and Cabin H. Let’s see your charm!” She said enthusiastically. Emma handed it to her. “Great! So since you’ve one first place you get the first choice to either Make a trade or keep your charm. Your charm tells us what  your activity is for tonight. And this one!” she paused looking at the piece in her hand. “Is a drive in movie night ont he lawn! Grab your blankets. We’ll have plenty of snacks and if your counselors are nice enough you may just get a double feature!” She looked over at us and winked. “You’ll get an opportunity to do all of the activities in the scavenger hunt. This just means you get first pick. Its up to you.” She handed back the charm and greeted her next group, turning them loose back to us. 

Sy was the first to speak when they headed back our way. 

“Well what do you think? Should we hold on to it and wait to see what everyone else has? Or should we keep it and plan our movie night?” The kids thought for a minute. Some of them were obviously exhausted from all the running. Then Beckett spoke.

“I think we should keep it! We’ve done a lot of running around today already. It’s supposed to be nice out tonight and if Ryleigh comes back it’ll be super chill and it’ll be something she can handle with her bad ankle and she won’t have to feel left out right when she gets back… uh.. If everyones cool with that?” Sy silently put a hand on his shoulder and I smiled. 

“I think that’s a great idea Beckett. I certainly don’t want anyone left out. It’s nice of you to think of her.” One of the boys snickered but Ethan turned and smacked him on the back of the head. 

“Dude shut up,” He said. 

“I didn’t say anything!” Chase argued. 

“You were gonna! If homeboy wants to be in love, let him.” 

“Boys!” Sy Barked quickly stopping their argument and saving Beckett from further embarrassment. “Knock it off, you’re both pretty.” he smirked. “But we’ve got other things to settle.” The girls fell into a fit of giggles. Before finally answer the matter at hand. 

“I don’t mind,” Nikki said. “I’m tired already and we still have half the day left. We should just chill tonight! And I want our friend to be included!” she said. 

“Yeah me too! I really like Ryleigh, I feel so bad that she got hurt! I want to help her feel better when she gets back. I think that’s a good idea Beckett!” Emma said. The other girls in our cabin agreed. The all seemed to have bonded quickly that first night. Ryleigh was quiet but I guess I wasn’t the only one keeping an eye on her. That made me feel good. 

The boys agreed. Ethan saying something about ‘bro code’. If looks could kill Beckett would have knocked him out.

We headed back to the campfire and the kidslet Becca know that we were staying with our movie night. I checked my watch and saw we still had like 3 hours to kill before dinner. We were going so hard for the scavenger hunt we literally almost missed lunch. 

“Okay, Well you guys have free time now. If you're gonna swim or go Boating give yourself enough time to get back here and dry off for dinner! If you need either one of us I think I’m gonna head down to the beach myself and Sy…?” I asked, looking over. Again his eyes were already on me. My throat immediately went dry. 

“I’m gonna head down to the beach too, you know where to find us or you can find anyone with a radio and they can get ahold of us for you! Be safe, don't do anything stupid! Go have fun! We’ll meet you at the dining hall at 5:45!” He told them. They were running off in different directions before he could finish his sentence. “And then there were two,” He chuckled.

“Yeah,” I chuckled, “and here I thought they liked us,” I said. Sy let out a soft laugh his shoulder brushing against mine. “I should, go get ready,” I blushed. “I’ll… meet you at the lake?” I asked.”

“Uh, Yeah,” He cleared his throat, “I’ll see you there,” He said quickly. And we headed off in separate directions. 

This was turning out to be much harder than I thought. It’s clear that we both want each other. But its not like we can be reckless and flirty and be all over each other when the kids are around. And I’m not sure thats what I want. I can’t get over the way he kissed me in the woods this morning. I can still taste him on my tongue. Being near him. Lights something up in me. But I’m terrified. I’ve never really done this before. Everything he’s done for me. Even without touching me, makes me feel better and makes me feel good. What if I can’t do that for him. What if I’m bad at it. I clearly don’t have nearly as much experience as he does. I don’t have any at all. What if we when I am ready… I suck at it. And When would we even have time for something like that? Does he want that? Am I not doing enough for him now? No, he would say something, and we literally just saw each other for the first time in 7 years 2 days ago! but… What does he expect from me? I felt my heart racing.

When I got back to the cabin it was empty. All of the girls were running around elsewhere. I flopped down onto my bunk and took a deep breath. Breathe Lainie. You're not a child anymore. You’re the adult here. I took one more deep inhale before I sat up and started to sift through my bag. My best friend had talked me into bringing a couple of two pieces I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with. As I was pulling the bathing suits out there was a knock on the door. Surely that couldn’t be Logan. 

I stood quickly and opened the door. Ryleigh was there with her Dad. She was on crutches but her ankle was only wrapped tightly in a bandage. “Hey, sweetheart!” I said quickly trying to keep the surprise off my face. I looked at her dad and gave him a gentle smile, “what did we find out?” I asked him? He returned my sympathetic look and patted Ryleigh on the shoulder.

“It’s sprained but not too bad. Dr just wants her to take it easy a couple of days, try to stay off of it best she can. But he okayed her to come back. And she begged us. I couldn’t say no.” He chuckled. 

“Dad,” she blushed.

“Alright, you just be careful, watch out for any flying footballs” he winked teasing her.

“Ugh,” she groaned. I chuckled softly. 

“We’ll take good care of her and keep her in one piece. Thank you for bringing her back! The kids were worried about her!” I told him. We said our goodbyes and I let Ryleigh get settled in.  “Are you doing okay, How are you feeling?”  I asked her. She sat on her bunk and let out a deep exhale that resonated with me  more than it should have. 

“My ankle hurts,”She said flatly. “But it’s really not too bad. I think I’m just overwhelmed. That was a lot happening at once.” I nodded and walked over  to sit with her on her bunk. 

“I understand. We were all really concerned about you, I’m glad you came back!” I told her. She smiled shyly. 

“I was having fun, I wasn’t gonna let this stop me,” She said. 

“I’m really glad to hear that!” I smiled. She looked over at my bunk, her eyes landing on the swim suits. 

“Were you about to go to the beach?” she asked. 

“I was, I was going to meet Sy down there, but If you wanna chill out and relax for a while I can hang out here with you!” I offered. 

“Actually… Can I come with you? I’ll have to just sit in the sand but I wanna get out in the sun and not just mope around.” she said. 

“Of course you can! Do you think you can get down there okay?” I asked, gesturing to her ankle. She nodded. 

“I’ll figure it out.”  she said. We both changed into more beach appropriate attire. I went back and forth for a moment about which swimsuit to wear, it was Ryleigh that helped me decide. 

“He already likes you, ya know.” she said. “Sy, I noticed the way he looks at you. But if you want his attention… The blue two piece is really cute.” she said. I wanted to protest. Or to retort with literally anything. But I couldn’t. I wasn’t naive enough to believe that the kids wouldn’t see it or not notice at some point. And Ryleigh was incredibly observant. I did end up wearing the blue two piece. After throwing on some shorts to walk down to the beach  and grabbing a towel, Ryleigh and I left the cabin. 

She did really well with her crutches until we hit the sand. Sy saw us immediately and stepped over to help. 

“Hey, you made it back!” He greeted her with a smile. He took her crutches and I let her lean on me 

“Yeah, it’s just a sprain!” She answered, with a shy smile. 

“You need some help?” He asked her. She shook her head and I walked with her as she slowly hopped along the sand. 

“She’s got!” I assured him. She found a spot to settle in, refusing to let me help her lay down her towel. She was stubborn. “You want us to hang out here without?” I offered. Again she shook her head. 

“I brought a book with me in my bag. I’m just gonna chill here!” She smiled. I nodded and Sy gave her a gentle smile. 

“Alright darlin’ we won’t be far. Let us know if you need anything!” he said. Ryleigh nodded. We left her alone walking off a little further down the beach. 

Now that we were alone and I had the chance to look at him, I suddenly felt shy. He looked so good. We stopped and set my towel up next to his and I had to stop myself from staring. He was shirtless. Of course he was, we were spending the afternoon by the water. His chest was strong and covered in hair that trailed down his toned stomach. I quickly flicked my eyes back to his. By the smirk on his face it was clear I’d been caught. Neither of us said anything. I sat down on my towel taking in the sun. I closed my eyes and stretched my legs out in front of me leaning back on my hands. 

“I needed this” I finally spoke. “It’s beautiful out here today.” Logan hummed softly in response. When I looked up his eyes were still on me before he finally sat down next to me. 

“It sure is.” He said. “Does this feel crazy to you too? Sittin here together again after all this time?” he asked. I nodded.

“It does, It’s weird. I never thought I would see you again. But now we’re here repeating the past. It’s like deja vu.” I laughed softly. 

“Or fate, bringing us back together again.” He smiled. He looked over at me brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes. 

“Logan,” I blushed. “I-I’m gonna go swim. Do you wanna join me?” I asked standing up quickly trying to avoid the moment. I quickly took my shorts off leaving me in just my bathing suit and ran toward the water. I figured he would follow. When I turned back Logan was still standing there with a sultry look in his eye, staring at me. And suddenly I felt naked. A shiver made its way down my spine before I finally found my voice to speak. “Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there staring all day?” I joked. 

Logan let out a chuckle before he ran toward me. I squealed, running into the water but he was faster than I was. He knelt down scooping me up in his arms carrying me further into the water. Instinctually I wrapped my arms around his neck holding on tight. 

“Put me down!” I kicked at the water in protest. He adjusted me in his arms, holding me close and letting his hand slide up to my hip. 

“Nope, You’re right where you should be.” I blushed. “You look so damn good,” He licked his lips, his eyes trailing up my body. I bit my lip feeling a bit self conscious in this position. 

“Logan there are so many people around right now.” I reminded him. He groaned, dropping his head to my shoulder. He set me down in the water. But he grabbed my hips underwater pulling me close. His lips brushed against my ear as he spoke. 

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep my hands off of you?” he whispered. I swallowed hard as he pulled away looking me in the eyes with a mischievous smile. I felt his thumbs graze against my hips making it difficult to stay upright, let alone string together a sentence. 

“Sy, I -I can’t. I mean. I…don’t know how. I’ve never….” I couldn’t say it. But the way his eyes suddenly soften told me he knew what I was trying to say. I was afraid I couldn’t keep up with him. I couldn’t please him. I’ve touched myself…I’d have got bat shit crazy by now if I hadn’t found some kind of release. I’ve never gone any further. My breath caught in my throat when he spoke again.  

“I’d be happy to show you darlin, we’ll go slow.” He said softly. The moment was ruined quickly by a group of campers that had gotten ahold of some super soakers. We had become collateral in their water war. 

“Sorry Lainie!” Ethan yelled as he aimed his gun at Chase.

“It’s my bad bud, The middle of the lake is fair game for a water fight. But watch out for the little ones okay?” He gave me a nod and quick thumbs up before dodging getting sprayed by Zach who was a few feet away.  “Do you encourage this behavior?” I looked up at Logan with a smirk, I watched him chuckle softly. “I don’t discourage it.” I laughed 

“That checks out.” I said. He looked at me with a raised brow. 

“Really, and whats that supposed to mean?” He challenged. I smirked as he watched me carefully. 

“Just that you always liked to start trouble.” I giggled splashing him playfully.

“Oh is that right?” He grinned as a slowly started to back away, looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn’t going to run into anyone. “Because I don’t remember ever getting caught for anything, unless… you were there.” I took off running in the water as quickly as I could. Which, arguably, was pretty slow. Logan ran behind me and we continued splashing each other. 

“I was a good kid until I met you Syverson!” I squealed trying to get away from him. “We only got in trouble because it was your idea!” He caught up to me by the dock and caught me around my waist. 

“You didn’t have to go along with it,” He smiled. I pouted turning around.

“I did. Because you’re so cool and so cute and I had a crush on you and… I just wanted to hang out with you. And you knew that!” I swatted at his chest playfully, “and you still did things that got us into trouble knowing I would go with you!” I watched as he took a moment to look around and then he chuckled. 

“You know we’re still in the middle of everybody,” He said, reluctantly letting go of my waist.

“I know, we suck at this.” I laughed. Logan paused, thinking for a moment. 

“You still wanna hang out with me?” I raised an eyebrow curiously and nodded. 

“Of couse I do!” I smiled. 

“Well, if you aren’t doing anything later, me and bunch of really cool kids are seeing a movie on the lawn, if you wanna be my date?”  I soft giggle escaped me. He made it feel like we were still the campers. Of course it’s not like we were old. But it felt like we could be carefree and wild again. 

“I’ll think about it.” I answered. 

***************************

Later that night after dinner and the end of the evening campfire, we set up for our movie. Logan and I set up the Projector Screen and set up the projector while the kids were off in the cabin getting lawn chairs and blankets. We discussed Movie options at dinner. Somehow they all ended up agreeing on the new Top Gun. I don’t know how but That was Logan’s fault. 

“You know, you didn’t tell me I’d be working during this date,” I teased as we finished tying the screen up to the pavilion. 

“So it is a date then?” he smirked. He walked over turning on the projector to make sure it was working. 

“Yeah, it is.” I stated. He walked over quickly taking a look around before pulling me against him and placing a soft kiss on my lips. I breathed him in kissing him back slowly. It was only a short soft kiss. But it had my head spinning, and my heart racing. I held onto his shoulder as we pulled away and he smiled.

“I wish it wouldn’t have wasted so much time not kissing you. I can’t get enough.” He murmured softly. I blushed. I heard chatter in the distance and I was sure it was some of our campers. 

“We should, get this set up and get settled in,” I stuttered. Sy finished setting up the movie waiting to play until all of the campers set up their chairs and blankets to lounge on the lawn. I watched them all get settled for a while. Beckett helped Ryleigh get settled. He was so excited when he saw she had made it back to camp. The two of them were sat on a blanket together. They probably would watch much of the movie. They'll likely just talk. They're so sweet.

Logan and I sat together on a blanket at the very back behind all of them so we could keep an eye on them. At least that was his excuse. But after the movie started to play and the kids were distracted Logan started making his move. 

“You warm enough?” He asked, noticing me tug my hoodie sleeves down over my hands. 

“Yeah, Just a little cold.” I stated. He grabbed the extra blanket and scooted closer. 

“C’mere,” He spoke and stretched his legs out leaving space for me to sit between them. I bit my lip and hesitated for a moment. Before settling between his legs and leaning back against his chest. He laid the blanket over our laps and wrapped his arms around me. “Better?” his breath was hot against my ear. 

“Mhmm,” I hummed biting my lip. We stayed just like that for a while. Logan ran his hands up and down my arms to keep me warm. He started to press a few kisses to my shoulder. And then soft kisses to my neck. 

“You looked so good today in that little two piece. You were driving me crazy.” He mumbled, still lazily pressing kisses to my neck. 

“Logan, we.. I… can’t,” I stuttered. Trying to find my words. I held in a moan as he started to softly suck on my neck. “Please, we shouldn’t,” I said, trying to make sense. 

“Shhh, relax Darlin,” he cooed in my ear, “I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want me too. I just wanna right my wrong, shouldn’t have left each other like we did back then. I wanna make you feel good, show you how you should be treated. Will you let me?” He whispered.  I swallowed hard. He had slipped his hands under my hoodie and his thumb was brushing against the skin of my lower belly. The soft touch made me want more. I turned my head meeting his eyes. Although they were filled with lust and desired and want, they were sincere. I knew he’d never do anything I wasn’t okay with. I knew he’d never hurt me. I knew I was safe here in his arms. I nodded. 

“Please,” I whispered. Logan kissed me softly and reluctantly pulled away. 

“Good girl. Now you just watch the movie and let me take care of you baby.” I kept my eyes on the screen as I felt him slip his hand past the waistband of my shorts. “Gonna go slow baby, just gonna make you feel good.” He whispered in my ear. 

I bit my lip holding in a gasp as his fingers grazed my clit. He brushed them down my folds circling my entrance letting out a deep groan. “So wet darlin, can’t wait to feel you.” he spoke softly. He moved his fingers back up pressing them against my clit teasing me in small circles. I clutched his arm holding in a moan. “Easy baby, you like that?” he asked. I nodded. He kept toying with my clit for moment before slowly pushing a finger inside me. 

I let my head fall back against his shoulder as he started pumping in in out. I let out a soft whimper trying to stay quiet. “You need more baby?” he asked. Again I nodded. He added a second finger pumping them faster. I felt a pressure build in my stomach and I started to grind on his fingers. 

“Thats it baby, you’re doing so good for me. You’re close aren’t ya,” He smirked kissing my neck.  I continued to chase my high and Logan pressed his thumb to my clit as he kept fucking me with is fingers. I couldn’t take anymore, I let head fall back against his shoulder. Logan used his other hand to cover my mouth to stifle my moan while I came on his hand. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He whispered in my ear as he held me. He slid his fingers out and I watches as he brought them to his lips sucking my juices off his fingers. “So good,” he groaned. He held me in his arms until the movie was over. We sent the kids back to get ready for bed as we packed every thing up. 

“You alright?” he asked, when we closed the pavilion for the night. I blushed nodding. 

“I’m great.” I giggled softly. He let out a laugh and pulled me in for a passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck kissing him back. 

“Easy baby, we’re taking slow, I don’t wanna push you too fast,” He smiled as we pulled away. 

“You’re an amazing guy Logan,” I smiled. He lifted my chin giving me one last soft kiss.

“Goodnight sweet girl. See you tomorrow. He smiled. 

“Good night Logan, I’ll see you in the morning.” I said, before we both reluctantly went our separate ways to check on our campers and settle in for the night. This summer was just getting started. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[dulcesiabits]

there is no heaven on earth except for you.

summary: you divorce nightowl and reconnect with him decades later.

notes: 1.2k words, divorce, suggestive content (implied sleeping together), inspired by several robobarbie drabbles (including one which i swore i read about a similar scenario but CANNOT find)

The ring glints between the two of you on the dining table, a shard of ice-cold diamond.

For a second, neither of you breathes.

And then you stand, and Nightowl looks down at the table listlessly, his bleached hair falling in front of his eyes.

“That’s it?” he asks quietly.

“That’s it,” you confirm. Your voice is flint and steel. Impenetrable. There’s no need to repeat the arguments that have been doggedly circling your apartment for weeks.

You’re not quite as young as you were when you got married, an impulsive decision that had felt so, so right at the time. His hand in yours. The two of you against the world. A ring he’d been saving up from the paycheck at his first architectural job.

You could have survived anything together. The end of the world. A national disaster. But somehow, it’s the small things that ended up tanking your relationship. The bills, the rent, the piling financial strains. The gratingly small habits. And the emotional insecurities, running deeper than you could possibly have begun to help him with.

It’s easy at first. You have infinite patience and love for Nightowl. You’ve promised to dedicate your life to him.

You can take it. The late nights, the constant need for reassurance, the desperate way he clings on to you, as if you’ll leave if he lets go. 

And then it becomes harder.

You grow older. You do your best. But nothing you do can reassure him, can save Nightowl from himself. It’s naive for you to think you could in the first place. You can’t love him enough to make up for deep wounds that tears him apart.

Like a sinking ship, you stay until the water is over your head, and now the both of you are drowning. 

“The lawyer will be in contact,” you say.

His shoulders shake, and his voice only wobbles slightly. “Okay.”

It’s for the best. That’s what you repeat to yourself as you stumble out into the elevator, down to your car. One day, you will be able to look back on this and forget it all.

—

Someone calls your name. A voice you haven’t heard in years, one that comes straight out of a dream.

“Hey,” he says. And you feel twenty five again, and all you can remember is the boyish smile and the bleached hair falling on your shoulder, warm arms pulling you closer. A ghost, one that seems determined to pull you back.

“Hi,” you say.

“Do you have time to catch up?” Nightowl says. It’s been thirty years? Thirty five? But his voice is as bright as ever. 

“Sure.”

On his hands, you notice, he has no rings. Just a pale band of skin where one once rested on his fourth finger.

—

There’s still a light band of skin where your ring once was. You thumb it over unconsciously, glancing out of the corner of your eye at the man besides you. You don’t think he’s noticed, absorbed into the ceramics of a long-lost civilization in front of the two of you.

Even after all these years, it still hasn’t faded. An indelible mark of your relationship, a ghost marriage: something that should have died long ago, but doesn’t go away.

He’s different now. Of course he would be, but it still hits you at unexpected moments. His long hair, tied back professionally, which he hasn’t bleached in decades. The wrinkles, which he would have used to complain about. But there are some things that are still the same, too: the dark thumb prints under his eyes. The mischievous twinkle.

You’ve changed too. You’re tired, older. You can’t stay up as late, move quite as fast, drink as much. You have your own wrinkles. You’ve found a streak of gray in your hair.

Nightowl catches your eye. “Like what you see?”

“Hm? What?” 

“The art,” he says cheekily, tilting his head. “What did you think I meant?”

Your face heats up. He’s caught you staring like some lovesick teenager. “The art. Of course.”

His laugh, you’re relieved to find, is still so, so warm.

—

The evening gloom rolls in as you find yourself in the lobby of his hotel. The misty street lights are turning on one by one outside, surrounded by halos.

“It was nice seeing you,” you tell him. As if your only history is being two old friends, and nothing more.

Nightowl dips his head. “It was. I’m glad. I didn’t realize you were still in the city.”

You shrug. “I like it here.”

“I do, too.”

“Well, I should probably go now. Before it gets late.”

You take a step back. Then another. The silence stretches between the two of you, wider than a thousand years, a thousand miles. A thousand unknown memories and experiences.

This is it. A beautiful evening, a chance meeting. And then two of you will vanish again, back to your own lives. It’s a better parting than your last one. A nice memory to take home with you, once it’s all said and done.

“Wait.” Nightowl strides towards you. He doesn’t touch you, but he doesn’t have to. “Do you want to stay? I can order room service.”

“For more wine?”

“More wine,” he confirms. “It goes on the company card, so we should take advantage of it.”

The only thing you can do is nod.

—

You wake up in a shaft of sunlight on your face like a spotlight, creeping through a gap in the blinds. Someone’s arm is around your waist, sheets pooling around your legs.

You squint, and then– shit. You try to rise, but Nightowl stirs at your movements, pressing a sleepy kiss against your shoulder.

“Good morning.”

“Nightowl,” you breathe. 

“Yes. That’s me.”

You close your eyes. Your head is throbbing, and you throw your mind back to the past, groping for the events of last night. The wine. The way the hours ticked away, until the easiest choice was to stay here. And how easy it was to fall right back into his arms.

“This was a mistake,” you begin.

“Really? Because it didn’t feel like one.”

“It’s been so long.”

“And I missed you,” he says quietly.

“Nightowl.”

“I’ve been with other people. But you weren’t just my spouse. You were my closest friend.”

You let out a breath, sinking into the plush hotel pillows. Nightowl reclines next to you, resting his chin on his propped hand. He’s drinking you in, and it sends heat throughout your body. To think that he could look at you the same, to want you the same.

“We left each other for a reason,” you say quietly. “We’re too old to be repeating the same mistakes.”

“But we’re not. We’re doing something different.” His hand slips into yours, palm to palm, fingers intertwined. “We’re not the same kids anymore.”

“I…” Your eyelashes flutter. “I know. But…”

“Do you regret this? Because I don’t.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Give us a chance again,” he says. “We can take it one step at a time. As slow as you want.”

In the sunlight, you see the pale band around his finger, glowing. “All right. But at least take me out first.”

“I think we’re already past that.” When he leans in, you only lean your head forward in response. Your first time, done again, and again, until the two of you finally get it right.

[furinangel]

My dear brother🎐

[Reader] is Sakura older sister!

Wind breaker!!

TW: mention of stabbing and fighting

When your brother was born, you were happy that your new little sibling had the same eyes like yours but the only thing that was different about both of you, was his hair; his hair is half black and half white while yours is fully black but you both have the same heterochromia eyes.

You remember how people picked on you just because of your eyes so you started to wear a eyepatch but that didn’t help at all, that’s when you begin to fight them to protect yourself.

Of course, when your parents heard that you started to fight others (protecting yourself) they sent you way because they don’t want a child that fights. oh, no,no! They want a well behaved kid, not a beater.

Before they could sent you away there stood a your little brother who was watching you with the most confused expression as he watched you pack up before you realized he was right there “big sis, where are you going?” He said as he comes up to you with little steps.

You stayed quiet before giving him a small smile and reach your hand for his little hand “Sakura… promise you will be strong without me…”

His eyes looked at you in even more confused but nodded his head anyway “I-I promise! But where are yo-“ you didn’t let him finish his sentence before bringing him close to you to, you tight the hug after your tears begin to fall down your skin.

That was the last time you ever saw your brother…

“[Name] are your there?” You snap out of it when you saw a hand waving in front of you, you turned your attention to your friend, Kotoha who was just trying to get your attention for the past few minutes “ah! Sorry kotoha, did you call for me?” You gave her a worried smile thinking that you did something wrong.

Kotoha just sighs before turning to get her wallet “I’m going to the grocery store you wanna come with me?”

“Nah im good, text me if you need any help with carrying anything” you told her before she left the cafe.

After your parents sent you away, they sent you to an orphanage that lived in this town where many fights had happened two years ago before that group came and changed everything. You still remember those kind eyes he had when you first met him…

Now here you were, working with his little sister who’s very mature for her age but you don’t mind it at all.

You wear [e/c] eye contact and dyed your hair [h/c] because you thought it would look nice on you but also want to leave the pain you felt in the past…

“That’s strange, why is kotoha taking so long?” You said to yourself before going outside to look for her but When you step foot outside to find her.

“Oh!”

“Oh!..”

There stand kotoha with someone who looks…

no way… your eyes widened in shocked to see someone that you weren’t expecting. A boy that looks just like your brother…

The boy looks at you in confusion but had an angry face that was telling you ‘what are you looking at’ look.

Kotoha feels the awkwardness here so she explains to you abou what just happened and why she was taking so long, which made you even more worried and felt bad that you didn’t agreed to come with her “next time you go shopping, I’m coming with you” you told her while grab the bags from her hand “You don’t need to” she said before turning to the boy “come inside! I did said I will repay you.” She goes inside with you and the boy did the same.

————

“You’re alone” she said to him before he stormed off, you watched the whole show that just happened in front of you. Heck, you couldn’t even turn around because you were still struck by the realization that he is your brother…

No… no way in hell he is…

You don’t deserve to call him your brother…

“Did you really have to say that to him?” You said to kotoha who just went back to washing the dishes “he had to hear it… he can’t make it to the top by himself, to be honest. He chose the right place and I’m sure he will have great friends here as well.”

You looked at her before chuckling softly “you sound like an old person” but before she could’ve say anything else, nosies were coming from outside.

You were about to go outside but Kotoha beats to you “Kotoha!!” You yelled out her name before going towards the door after her.

you saw how she gets grab by a man who held a knife very close to her neck but luckily that boy comes and kick him off of her.

the boy continues to fight until he gets stab in the leg.

“Watch out” you said to him as the bat swings towards him but doges, but his body hits kotoha making both of them cornered there as the man with the bat swings again.

in that moment you couldn’t stop yourself from calling his name�� your brothers name…

“SAKRUA!!”

That was the first time you ever called your brother’s name after so long… now, you promise yourself that you will never leave him again.

Hope you liked it! Let me know if you want part 2. Also I’m very sorry about how short this is, I’m still getting used to posting my writing which I’m not confident about but I’m happy to writing anything else!

-Angel

[triggerlil]

i bet God heard you coming

It humbles Gale all over again how the world keeps going. When he'd returned home from the war and the horses at the Spencers' stables still nuzzled into his palm, when Marge died and the sun still set pink over the cottonwoods across the fields. Now John was gone, and the birds still trilled excitedly in the early morning mist.

1.9k, also on AO3

It's one of the first warm nights of Spring when Gale looks at John for the last time. Sure, he has photos: the one John gave him that's long since creased from the amount of times Gale's held it, the hoarded newspaper clippings with smudged smirks and group shots around the planes where faces blurred. But this was his last moment seeing him in person, and despite the sadness that claws at his chest and grips his heart, he wants to remember everything. The dark sweep of curls across John's forehead, the crooked part of his nose from an unclean break, the small scars and marks that pepper his skin (which only ever made him more handsome), long still eyelashes the ghosts of which seemed to flutter now against Gale’s cheek. He absentmindedly brushes the sensation away, the raw skin under his eyes stinging, and his hand comes away wet with tears. He would’ve figured he had none left. 

He needed to make this quiet moment count because of all the things he’d never committed to memory. The blue of John’s eyes was already fading, would the tenor of his laugh be next? Would it only be the horror that stayed? The way John looked with blood splattered across his face, the sound of his shouts when he’d woken panting, the smell of gunpowder and death? If nightmares were the only parts of John he could salvage, that was better than nothing. 

He settles a hand over where John’s are folded across his stomach, wedding ring new enough that parts still shine. He knows he’s cold, but Gale sucks in a breath when he touches John’s cheek. It's as cold as when they marched.

“How’d we get here, huh?” He whispers, shaky. He’s going to have to move on soon, let others take their time. No one would interrupt him, but he can’t handle it much longer anyhow. The silence closes in and the overwhelming perfume of flowers starts to make him feel sick. He wants to sit John up and hug him so tightly he breaks his ribs, shake him until his bones fall out so Gale can finally accept the truth. “You weren't supposed to die on me, John.” 

He feels panic start to rise in his throat, bile and tar, he takes one long last look: there are the freckles he’d counted, the strong jaw he’d held, lips he’d ran the pad of his thumb over, broad shoulders and arms that’d wrapped around him, a chest he’d once seen rise and fall. He wrenches himself away before he can choose to stay and walks quickly back through the wake and out to the lawn. He should say something to Josephine, but he doesn’t know how. He hadn’t wanted to be around anyone when Marge died—except John. It’s late, the funeral is tomorrow afternoon, he’ll say something then. Gale sits on the pavement and waits for Esther to say goodbye for the both of them. Not for the first time he wishes he smoked. He settles for taking a toothpick and fiddling it between his teeth. Esther touches his shoulder gently as the crickets start singing, and they drive back to their hotel without talking.

The air is cool the next morning when Gale goes for a jog. The shock has worn off somewhat; he no longer has an excuse to stay indoors and wallow. Regardless it wouldn’t be a good look, grown men don’t grieve like widows over their best friends. Even if said friend should’ve had plenty of time left. It humbles Gale all over again how the world keeps going. When he'd returned home from the war and the horses at the Spencers' stables still nuzzled into his palm, when Marge died and the sun still set pink over the cottonwoods across the fields. Now John is gone, and the birds still trill excitedly in the early morning mist. His feet still strike the ground as his breath turns ragged and he has to bend over at the side of the road to dry heave and swallow hungry gulps of air. He shuffles back to the hotel and into the shower, listens to Esther get up and start dressing, singing under her breath. His wet hair dripping onto the back of her neck, he helps with the clasp on the pearl necklace he’d given her before they left. He wants to feel some part of Marge beside him today. Esther had been hesitant to accept at first, but Gale knew Marge would’ve liked to see it worn again. She would’ve wanted him to be happy. Tough luck, he thinks. She and John had made that pretty difficult. 

A few years older than Gale, Esther had lost someone herself. Her first husband had been shot off one of the beaches in Normandy and swallowed by the ocean. It’s unfortunately part of why they work so well together—they both know this isn’t their one great love, but it’s comforting and safe. They’ve talked a lot about the past, but Esther doesn’t know about John. No one knows about John. No one will ever know about he and John. Esther fastens the buttons on his service dress when his hands start shaking too much and goes on tiptoe to place a kiss under his eye. He wants to tell her she looks beautiful in black, but can’t get the words out, so he just takes her hand and doesn’t let go, even as they drive. 

“He was a good man,” Gale ends up saying. “I’ll always remember him.” It’s lame in comparison to the vastness of both their grief, but Josephine still clasps his hands, hugs Esther, and thanks them for coming all this way. 

Then they’re moving on, and Gale is speaking consoling words he can’t hear to John’s two daughters, who have so much of his playfulness in their features that he can barely stand it. Esther is calmly leading him to their seats, saying something, and he nods despite not understanding anything. The first speech is lost to the rushing of blood in his ears. He’s supposed to get up and say something, he has his speech tucked into his breast pocket, but his vision has tunneled down to nothing but the casket and the knowledge that John is in it. 

Yesterday was the last day he’d ever see John again. Esther squeezes his hand and he realizes it’s his turn. He somehow stands in front of the familiar faces of grief and talks about how John helped him get through the war, as if that’s even half of it. He can’t say he wishes he’d been there when John was five and scraped both knees falling off his bike, just so he could shush and console him, or how he would’ve held ice to every black eye John got fighting after school. He can't say he remembers watching John smoke outside the barracks and the swoop in his stomach when everything clicked. He can’t explain that John is someone he’s always known, that when he died he took a part of Gale with him. His voice cracks only once, and then he’s in his seat and doesn't remember walking back over. Esther takes his hand again, and she will never know just how deep his grief goes. He will never tell her about nights in the Stalag when it was so cold everyone was sharing bunks, but those were also the only nights he actually slept, drifting off to the comforting length of John's body pressed against his. Gale will take to his own grave how John came running after Marge died, sleeping together again—cramped on the couch because Gale couldn’t stand to be in the master bedroom—or the one brief moment they’d had alone before John’s wedding, Gale straightening John’s collar and running his fingers through the scruff of hair at the nape of his neck. They will never have any of that again, and Gale somehow has to find a way to live with it. He has to survive for the both of them, now. 

The air feels muggy with promised rain as guests trickle out of the funeral home. The Egan grandchildren run around on the grass, unaware of what they’ve lost, and their innocent screams carve a hole out of his stomach. He stops to talk to some of the other men from the 100th who were able to come, but he mostly nods and avoids their pitying stares. They invite him out for drinks tonight, in John’s honor. Hotel checkout is at 0900, but  by now he’s used to late nights and early mornings. Esther breaks away from the group of wives that have found themselves huddled around Josephine, and they drive somewhere for a coffee. 

“Are you going out tonight, for John?” She asks him.

He shrugs, wishing his hands would burn to the sides of this chipped diner mug he's holding.

“It’s been so long since any of the girls have seen each other, Josephine wants us over for wine later. You’d figure she’d be too exhausted, but I think she likes the distraction.” 

“Her and John always had that in common.” 

Esther stifles a laugh and pretends to cough. 

“I said I’d only go if I wasn’t leaving you alone.” 

Gale weighs his options. Stay in with Esther and feel guilty and sorry for himself, lie just to be alone, or go out with the men who are the closest to understanding what he and John had. 

“I��ll probably go out, just for a bit.” 

She nods, sipping her coffee. One milk and one sugar as opposed to Gale’s black; Marge liked just milk, and John was always two milk and enough sugar to rot your teeth. The steam tickles his face and the coffee tastes like every funeral he’s attended—bitter yet familiar. They decide to spend what’s left of the day at the cinema, and he runs his thumb along Esther’s wrist as they sit in the dark. He gets absorbed enough in the story he forgets where he is, the repetitive touch lulling him into the past. He’s at the local theatre in Wyoming watching an unbearably sappy romance with Marge, he’s in the barracks next to John smiling slyly around a toothpick while they bump knees and the men shout profanity at the projection. 

He doesn’t drink that night, the first and last time will always be that swig from John’s flask on VE-Day, but when he’s walking home down unfamiliar streets he fishes out a cigarette he got from a stranger at the bar. He exhales slow, lets the cloud of smoke envelope him in the familiar scent he’d come to associate with John. The rush to his head is a bit like flying a plane, the calm reminiscent of the sky stretching out before him, and he understands how people get addicted. He walks past a church and squints in the dark. He’s never been very religious—doesn’t count the desperate prayers to any God listening while enemy territory rushed towards him—wasn’t raised on it and never bothered. He takes a shuddering inhale and watches the embers burning down towards his fingers. He gazes at the cross atop the roof, silhouetted against the starry sky, and asks God for one last favour: if there is a Heaven, can Bucky be there waiting for him? He wants to see him at the pearly gaits, smirk playing on his boyish face, as he asks Gale what took him so long.

[wa-royal-tea]

Previous | Beginning | Next

(Transcript under the cut - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

Cassia Garden, Belcoast (3:57pm)

Indirah: Where’s my heels? Has anyone seen my heels?

Ginevra: I’m going to wait downstairs. Eloise, are you coming?

Eloise: Yeah!

Camille: Kak Lina, can you do my hair, please?

Catalina: Sure! Let me get the hairbrush first.

Belle: There. You’re all done.

Ginny: Thank you, mum. How do I look?

Belle: Beautiful. You look beautiful, my dear.

Ginny: Mum…please don’t cry. It’s too early for that.

Belle: I know…I just can’t believe you’re getting married already.

Belle: You grew up so fast. I still remember how small you were when I first met you.

Ginny: Mum…

Belle: I remember that day when you asked me if you can call me “mommy”. I can never forget that day, ever.

Belle: You made me a mother, Ginny. Even though I wasn’t the one who gave birth to you, you still loved and accepted me.

Ginny: But you loved me like your own too, mum. You’ve never treated me differently. Not even once.

Ginny: You’ll always be my mum. No one can tell me otherwise.

Belle: I wish Irene was here to see you like this. You grew up so well. She would be proud.

*door opens and closes*

Belle: Hugo? What are you doing here?

Hugo: Mum asked me to call everyone down. The guests are arriving.

Belle: Oh, yeah. Ginny, you wait here, alright? I’ll have Lina or Dira call you later when the ceremony is about to start.

Ginny: Okay. I’ll see you later.

Ginny: Aren’t you going to follow her?

Hugo: Grandpa wants to talk to you. I’ll wait for him outside, yeah?

Ginny: Okay. I’ll take care of him. Have a seat, grandpa.

*door opens and closes*

Anthony: I heard you made your dress.

Ginny: Mhm! Do you like it?

Anthony: Yes. It’s beautiful. You look great in it.

Ginny: Thank you, grandpa.

Ginny: What do you want to talk about? Are you alright?

Anthony: I’m alright, my dear. I just…I need to give you something.

Ginny: What’s that?

Anthony: It’s a letter. From your mother. She wrote it for you before she…passed.

Anthony: I had this since you were a child. But I never found the right opportunity to give it to you. I thought today would be a good time. I’m sorry it took me so long.

Ginny: It’s okay. You have your reasons.

Anthony: Here, read it.

Ginny: What is it about?

Anthony: I don’t know. I didn’t read it. It’s your letter.

Hi Genevieve, it’s mommy. Do you like the name I gave you? Your dad thinks it’s cute, and I agree. I think it’s a perfect name for you. But he said it’s a bit long so we should figure out a nickname for you. Maybe Gee? Vivi? Ginny? I don’t know. We’ll figure it out when you’re here I guess!

Your dad and I are so excited to have you. It wasn’t planned but nothing good in this world is planned!

You were a big surprise for both of us. I was scared when I first found out about you. I was scared that your dad and his family wouldn’t accept us.

I already had plans for us if his family decided to not want anything to do with you and me. I was sure that I could raise you on my own.

I imagined us living in a small home back in my home country. I can already see our life in it.

You taking your first steps there…

…first day of school…

…moving to college…

…and getting ready for your wedding.

It would’ve been perfect. Just you and me.

But when I told your dad about you, he was overjoyed. And despite his father’s disapproval, he asked me to marry him.

Adapting to this life wasn’t easy. But your dad made sure that I know I can always count on him whenever I needed him. Even when he’s far away for his military training.

He really loves you. Every time we got on a call, he always asks how are you doing. I sometimes feel like he loves you more than he loves me. But it’s alright. I know he’ll take good care of you when you’re here.

Just a few months left, and you’ll be in our arms. And every day I’m looking forward to it. Though I know once you’re here, I’m going to miss having you so close to me. It’s funny.

I hope you know how much I love you, Genevieve. I can’t promise you I’ll be the perfect mother, but I’ll try my best. I want you to know that I’ll always be there for you when things get hard.

Thank you for choosing me to be your mother. I love you, my daughter.

Love,

Mommy.

Anthony: I have been alive for a long time, Genevieve. I have no regrets about anything I’ve ever done.

Anthony: But if there’s one thing that I deeply regret doing is…not being kinder to your mother.

Anthony: I…I was horrible to her. I’ve never accepted her. No matter how kind she was to me, I can never see past my anger towards her for “ruining” Emery’s future by having you.

Anthony: A few days before you were born. I had my first heart attack and your mother was the first person to see the signs and called the doctor for me.

Anthony: If it weren’t for her, I probably wouldn’t be here today.

Anthony: I was thankful. But I was too prideful to say anything at the time.

Anthony: I promised to myself that I’d be kinder to her after that day, but when Emery broke the news that she passed…it was too late.

Anthony: When Emery brought you to your late grammy and me before leaving you with your Aunt Sofia, I saw Irene in you.

Anthony: And I swore to myself that day that I can’t die until I see you happy.

Anthony: I want you to live the best life that your mother would’ve hoped for you.

Anthony: You don’t have to forgive me for my behavior towards your mother when she was alive. And if you hate me now because of that, I completely understand.

Anthony: I’m just glad that I get to see you happy now. And I hope that you’ll remain happy for the rest of your life.

Ginny:…grandpa?

Anthony: Yes, dear?

Ginny: I have something to ask you.

[nixster627]

Lan Wangji: I like your pants.

Wei Wuxian: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Lan Wangji: I’d like them 100% off.

Wei Wuxian: The store can’t just sell free stuff...

Lan Wangji: That’s not what I-

Wei Wuxian: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Lan Zhan.

[deus-ex-mona]

omg happy 10th birthday to inokori sensei

[mycological-mariner]

Happy (late) Christmas, I found the Trafalgar sketch

[princeofyorkshire]

me to my mom 4 years ago: i’m bisexual

my mom today: so you still don’t know if you like boys or girls?

[adamprrishcycle]

Something about sleeping in your childhood bedroom after you’ve been moved out for years that is both comforting and devastating

[infestedslime]

Already getting some very very interesting changes in ac6 ng++. I wasn’t sure if this style of doing more stuff with the game’s story on ng+ playthroughs would land for me but it works really well and I’m super into it

[lanihaluki]

addition to the fyrus little mermaid au in tags!!