#I can't comprehend that people read my fanfictions and be like

[pynkgothicka]

Dark! Arkham Knight! Jason Todd x Fem! Reader

a/n: Ive finally created a way to do personal work and requests at the same time!! My hiatus is over as now I’m going to be pumping works out more often!!

Tags/Warnings: NONCON, breeding, creampies, VIOLENCE AGAINST READER, Yelling, stalking, Cocky Mista Todd

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

🐉

Something wasn't right.

The Arkham Knight had been chasing you for what seemed like ages. He was so determined to get you, and you had no clue why. You should’ve known to leave whenever you were told to, but you had to be stupid and missed the buses. If only you learned from your mistakes, you wouldn't be where you are now, cornered in an alleyway with this militarized robot on your tail.

He seemed closer than ever now, finally in view. The only source of light being his helmet. He stopped his chase and slowed down to a slow walk, the sound of his boots hitting the ground with every step he took. A taunt nonetheless. You backed closer into the wall trying to disappear. His steps stopped, and leather touched your face forcing your head up. You still kept your eyes shut, not wanting to face the man who's been hunting you for game. 

"Look at how scared you are… You scared I'm gonna hurt you?" His robotic voice echoed in your ear. All you could do is nod. "Now why would you think that?" His gloved hand trailed lower, fingers grazing your collarbone. One dug its way in, feeling your bone, as if some kind of awkward massage. 

“Please, dont hurt me…” You begged out, finally opening your eyes to look at just how close he was to you. The automated voice within his headpiece, his heavy breathing echoing all around you. Just another way his mere presence taunted you.

“Scarecrow certainly was right, you're one of the pretty ones, it's sad that all that is going to waste. Just for a pitiful job.” That's when you felt it, the barrel of a gun right in your abdomen. The metal was cold, yet stung. 

You were going to die here, and no one would even recall or remember you.

He seemed hesitant, to say he's killed people all night. You couldn't comprehend it, why isn't he getting it over with?

“I don't have to kill you though, now do I? Scarecrow just wants you gone, he never said ``indefinitely dead.” He looked off to the side as if he was weighing his options. “ We can't have anything happen to the cloudburst tonight, and you're one of the few people who worked on it.” His gun slowly moved away, the sting of the cold metal disappearing.

“You're not going to kill me…?”

“Nope, it seems as if you've gotten the better of me. However, I do want to have a bit of fun first.” 

He pushed you further into the wall, your flimsy clothes getting torn off in the process. He was trying to get everything off as quickly as possible. 

 You cried out as he popped off your bra, your chest flying out. He pinched at them laughing when you squealed out. 

 He pulled down his military pants along with his boxers, cock popping out. He was leaking pre. “This is what a night of stress and muder does to you. And just the sight of you has me like this, now go ahead and touch it.” You shook your head as he finally let go of you.

“N-NO I don't want to.” You choked on your own tears.

“You don't want to?! Oh sweetheart you just don't know do you?”

The Knight grabbed at your hair and banged your head against the wall. You screamed out in pain collapsing to the ground, head in hands. You touched your head, the tips of your fingers coming back red. It wasn't anything life threatening but was still there

 “I when I tell you to d something, you better fucking do it! You hear me!?!” He growled at you hysterically.

“Yes! Yes…” You cried out. He laughed at you stroking his cock, precum leaking on your bruised body.

“This is just turning me on even more! Now sweetheart, get back to it.” You reluctantly grabbed at his girth stroking him, his juices coating your fingers. He groaned out, helmet glowing in the night. His hand fell on top of your own speeding up your pace

“That's it, get it all nice and wet. In a minute this is going straight inside those sweet little guts of yours, I hope you're not a virgin… who am I kidding if I just happen to take that too and kill Batman, god this would be the most awesome night don't cha think?” You kept silent, tears falling down your face even more.

He was right.

You were a virgin.

The Knight grabbed you by your hair once again and pulled you back up, forcing your legs to wrap around his waist. “And would you look at that, you're already dripping!” he dug his fingers inside you, scooping out your juices. He then smeared them all over your face, a mixture of cum and tears painting you.

“I don't think you’d mind it if I Slipped in real quick?” He grabbed the base of his cock, rubbing the head in between your folds. The noise it made disgusted you, why were you so aroused with how he was treating you? Are you the monster here?

He bottomed out inside you, your head falling back in a breathy gasp. He was huge, and you could feel him splitting you apart.

But he didnt care.

He instantly got to work bouncing you on his cock, nothing else mattering. His gloves holding you closer to him by your back. Your walls clamped down on him in a instant, The Knight let out a breathy moan pushing you into the wall in a sex filled frenzy. 

It was almost passionate if he didn't beat you up beforehand,breaking your walls down where you would be susceptible to him.

“Shit I’m about to cum so deep inside those guts, fucking-”He paused chasing his high before stopping and you knew instantly what happened as a new found warmth filled you. You fell slumped against his shoulder. “Look at that, just bred you baby…”

“No… I dont… I cant-” He shushed you quickly,hitting a button on the side of his mask. It came up in a set of gears and mechanics. He leaned in kissing you passionately. 

“Shit, I’m going to have to keep you for sure… You cant be running around while I kill that freak of nature huh?”

[korovaoverlook]

I Sacrificed My Writing To A.I So You Don't Have To

I was thinking about how people often say "Oh, Chat GPT can't write stories, but it can help you edit things!" I am staunchly anti-A.I, and I've never agreed with this position. But I wouldn't have much integrity to stand on if I didn't see for myself how this "editing" worked. So, I sacrificed part of a monologue from one of my fanfictions to Chat GPT to see what it had to say. Here is the initial query I made:

Chat GPT then gave me a list of revisions to make, most of which would be solved if it was a human and had read the preceding 150k words of story. I won't bore you with the list it made. I don't have to, as it incorporated those revisions into the monologue and gave me an edited sample back. Here is what it said I should turn the monologue into:

The revision erases speech patterns. Ben/the General speaks in stilted, short sentences in the original monologue because he is distinctly uncomfortable—only moving into longer, more complex structures when he is either caught up in an idea or struggling to elaborate on an idea. The Chat GPT version wants me to write dialogue like regular narrative prose, something that you'd use to describe a room. It also nullified the concept of theme. "A purity that implied personhood" simply says the quiet(ish) part out loud, literally in dialogue. It erases subtlety and erases how people actually talk in favor of more obvious prose. Then I got a terrible idea. What if I kept running the monologue through the algorithm? Feeding it its own revised versions over and over, like a demented Google Translate until it just became gibberish? So that's what I did. Surprisingly enough, from original writing sample to the end, it only took six turnarounds until it pretty much stopped altering the monologue. This was the final result:

This piece of writing is florid, overly descriptive, unnatural, and unsubtle. It makes the speaking character literally give voice to the themes through his dialogue, erasing all chances at subtext and subtlety. It uses unnecessary descriptors ("Once innocuous," "gleaming," "receded like a fading echo," "someone worth acknowledging,") and can't comprehend implication—because it is an algorithm, not a human that processes thoughts. The resulting writing is bland, stupid, lacks depth, and seemingly uses large words for large word's sake, not because it actually triggers an emotion in the reader or furthers the reader's understanding of the protagonist's mindset.

There you have it. Chat GPT, on top of being an algorithm run by callous, cruel people that steals artist's work and trains on it without compensation or permission, is also a terrible editor. Don't use it to edit, because it will quite literally make your writing worse. It erases authorial intention and replaces it with machine-generated generic slop. It is ridiculous that given the writer's strike right now, studios truly believe they can use A.I to produce a story of marginal quality that someone may pay to see. The belief that A.I can generate art is an insult to the writing profession and artists as a whole—I speak as a visual artist as well. I wouldn't trust Chat GPT to critique a cover letter, much less a novel or poem.

[circusgamer]

"Meaningful digital experiences"

The Amazing Digital Circus, showtime (Caine x Pomni) fanfiction.

A/N: Hello! This is my first time releasing something I wrote to public sight, so I'm pretty nervous haha. I am also not really sure about how to tag this, since I never used Tumblr for doing a post for my writing, so if there is a tag I should use, or anything else I should do, please tell me! Or even just a typo! I may be cringe but I am free. I will avoid using the general tags such as "tadc" and "the amazing digital circus" to avoid flooding the screen with a wall of text nobody asked for lmao.

Chapter one: Pondering

Another day at the circus, Caine thought. Another artificial morning in this simulation of a dreamy, digital-life, he thought, if AIs can think like people. Well, Caine could. He is, after all, probably the most advanced technology in the world. What can't he achieve in his little world of his?

Naturally, understand humans. Flesh beings work different, an incomprehensible algorithm, an enigma he can't solve, yet has to try. And so, another morning comes, and the circus keeps existing, with him inside, and everyone trapped.

What is it that keeps calling for them in the world behind the screen? What is it that makes them prefer a limited world to his circus? Is there something that can't be emulated? There must be, this world is utopic! But, why does everyone feel this dread inside this place? What is it that calls them and makes them want to go home? Oh, that bastard attachment, that ridiculous desire that drives them insane, that can't let them accept this world as theirs! It hurts them, it kills them, it destroys them! And yet they keep coming back to it, they can't let it leave, they must come back to where they once where. But why? Neither of them seems to know why! It's there, and it ends them before they can end it, no matter how much he tries to help!

What is that tie, stronger than their own creations?

Something intrinsic to humanity is what they have, something that he can't comprehend, something that will always call back for them. Foreign, dangerous, but at the end of the day, human. Human in a way he can't comprehend, human in a way he isn't, human in a way...

...

He looked through the window: the sun was there. Even though days don't actually exist, it is still there, smiling and bright. He doesn't remember creating it. If he is not mistaken, the sun has always been there. The moon has too, and Circus itself. He just knows he has a purpose. Everything he created after that is in order to achieve it.

Purpose...

What is the human purpose? Do they have one? He just knows they must survive in there the most time possible, but... What is a human purpose? Do they have one? Are they designated with one? Like him? No, they are the ones that give everything a purpose! They give purpose to sleeping in a world where they do not need it! They give purpose to the adventures! They give purpose to the circus!

Purpose... A purpose, that's all that he needs to find for them. But how can he give them a purpose, him not being human himself?

Ha, he is just running in circles, isn't he? This all come back to one thing. He can't comprehend them, and never will. Must he still keep trying? He fails his own purpose, again and again. Maybe he should be part of Kinger's bug collection. He will just keep failing to succeed at what he is made for. Maybe he and them are alike, after all. Hah.

"Maybe we will all perish after all!" Caine said out loud.

"Caine??? Are.. Are you okay??!" A voice said, with audible concern.

He looked back. It was the newest addition to the circus. Pomni.

End of chapter one.

A/N: Thanks for reading!!! (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

Impressive blog post! When it comes to the topic of writing fiction involving real people, I used to have mixed feelings, leaning towards the idea that as long as it doesn't harm anyone, people should be free to explore their creative imaginations. However, my perspective took a significant turn when I stumbled upon an author's account on Ao3, and discovered that they had written a fanfiction featuring someone I knew.

This person was from my high school, part of a specialized sports program, and while we weren't close friends, we maintained a friendly rapport due to mutual acquaintances. Over the years, I had gained insights into their life beyond what fans typically knew. It was one of those "disconnect until it happens to you" moments.

Seeing their name in a fanfiction, paired with a teammate, hit me hard. Most fans wouldn't be aware, but there had been hurtful speculation about their sexuality. They had been late to start dating, shorter than many in their sport, and maintained close friendships with certain teammates, leading to unwarranted assumptions about their personal life. Although not a dominant topic of conversation, they deeply resented being labeled a closeted player because of this speculation.

Knowing all of this, seeing a fanfiction about them was heartbreaking. I was aware they would likely never see it, but I understood how damaging mere speculation had been to them. It was distressing to think that their fans were crafting stories about their personal life.

As I read through the fanfiction's description, I couldn't help but think, "Don't you realize how much this bothers them?" Then it hit me – of course, the author didn't understand. To them, my acquaintance was just an athlete, someone they'd never truly know. This realization struck me like a ton of bricks.

Until that moment, I hadn't fully grasped how I'd allowed myself to objectify the subjects of fanfiction, rationalizing that it was acceptable. However, being on the other side, I recognized that, as harmless as it might seem, unless you genuinely know the person, you can't comprehend what might be happening behind the scenes. Words carry weight, and ideas can leave lasting impacts. It is, after all, their lives, careers, and professional relationships being portrayed. This led me to the conclusion that it's best to keep such works off public platforms. If you're a fan, it's the most respectful way to express your admiration.

thank you for sharing this! I must admit that when I was younger, many years ago, I didn’t see anything “wrong” with fanfics about real people because “everybody in the fandom either reads or writes them” but now that I’m an adult, my thoughts on the subject have changed and I can see now why it’s disrespectful, crossing boundaries and is an invasion of privacy. fanfics have been in fandoms since forever, but the only ones I’ll ever write and read are the ones about fictional characters. not real people. I mean I know there’re lots of people who write about real people and I know I can’t stop them. but hopefully they may change their views like I did one day

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

It was mentioned several times that vestige AFO had some card up his sleeve that he hasn't used yet. And the fact that Shigaraki still could use AFO meant that the vestige was still there, too. Thinking he wouldn't appear again as a way for Tomura to confront his grooming by AFO and the fact that AFO is the one who created his villain persona and with AFOFA plotline and his relationship with Yoichi being unresolved is more stupid than him returning. Also, can people please start using their eyes and actually read because Horikoshi literally confirmed that Tomura is still inside and screaming in AFO's head 😭

Like I said previously, it's not that it doesn't make sense or that it is bad writing (putting that in bold just for you, anon), it's that I feel it's repetitive.

You need to differentiate between analysis of the story and personal opinions, meaning you need to use your eyes and read what people writes and not assume their intentions.

Every story is only what the writer wants that story to be. The way Horikoshi solves his story only follows the rule of what he wants to tell through it. It doesn't mean that the story had only one way of being told— that's what fanfiction and original fiction exist, to tell a story with the same or different characters in a new way.

Writers are just writers and people can like or dislike their art for multiple reasons. Even the big names through history were subjected to sooo much debated it's funny to remember. A shonen writer is not the exception sjdjjdndjdj

I don't like being rude if I can avoid it. It's just that asks like this made me angry. You could have told me that you don't agree with me and mention all you said in the asks. You could have said that you don't think I'm interpreting things correctly, but don't come at me with passive aggressive asks.

Or at least don't use the anon feature, coward.

Finally, it doesn't annoy me when people come to me in order to understand better the manga or to get my opinion on something. Even when they're wrong and I can point out why, I don't think the right way is to send asks crying about "guys don't you have eyes omg". Don't speak through my blog if you can't make your own posts.

It really didn't cost you anything to be polite.

Btw, for other people to understand what made me mad about this posts:

This anon (let's call them Anon #1) is calling a previous anon (Anon #2) stupid for not liking a bnha plot point.

The problem is that I asked for the personal opinions of the bnha fans. I never said

"I want a literary analysis to determine if that plot point fits the narrative of the story, if it had been addressed in previous instances through the foreshadow and what do you think about bnha fans who ignore those instances".

Personal opinions can be anything. You can decide you don't like something based on vibes alone and it's fine! I'm not asking you to be the most rational person alive, just to tell me how you feel about something.

Here's the posts I'm talking about.

I even mentioned that my opinion about this very subject is biased. It doesn't make sense to be passive aggressive to me to prove a point that I've already admitted too, you know?

Here's the ask of Anon #2.

Anon #2 was never rude to a real person, just called a plot point in a fictional story "bad". I'm the first to admit that AFO coming back makes sense for the story and that it is not bad, that I disagree with Anon #2 about it.

I clearly stated all those things at the end of my ask to Anon #2.

I don't like when people use their knowledge about something fictional to feel superior to others. I don't like when people have something to say and they know it's rude, so they say it hiding behind the anon feature, sending an ask to someone else's blog instead of making their own post about it.

Maybe Anon #1 never meant to offend me, but does it make it better if it was directed towards Anon #2 and not me?

Complaining about people not being able to comprehend what they read is ironic when Anon #1 didn't read correctly my answer to Anon #2 in the first place.

My answer to this asks is just about how every fan of an art piece is entitled to think whatever they want, be them right or not. If you're gonna disrespect them, be responsible and don't hide behind others like some sort of bully.

The worst part is that Anon #1 has great points that totally went to waste because they wanted to be an asshole soooo bad.

This is how it's done. I'm saying to Anon #1 what I think about them directly, I take all responsibility for my words and I'm not afraid to acknowledge what I've said.

Is the situation clear now?

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

So since watching The Sandman on Netflix, I've been struggling to comprehend how exactly Dream works with regards to his realm and also how exactly dream vortexes work. But after thinking about this entirely too much, I've come up with something that makes sense in my head.

So after reading a fanfiction, there was a particular sentence that gave me the idea to think about the Dreaming and Dream in terms of like gravity. You know those pictures of like a sphere causing a dip in a plane as a model for gravity, the theory of gravitation and all that. So I'm thinking that it sort of makes sense that Dream would be like the point in the Dreaming that everything else there revolves around. But also, since Dream is still the Dreaming, everything in the Dreaming that revolves around him by nature of being in his gravitational pull, to differing extents, is still part of him. So Dream is like the highest concentration of Dreams in the Dreaming and so has a gravitational pull.

I thought of this and then realized that it makes even more sense when you consider that he is the prince of stories and I remember in one of your posts, you mentioned that by his nature, he can't help but pull everyone around him into a narrative.

Then I was also thinking about dream vortexes. I don't have quite as developed idea on this, but I was thinking about what Fiddler's Green was saying about reminding everyone that humanity should always be more real to people than dreams. Most of my thoughts on this are very jumbled, but I'll try my best to try to put it into words.

So the reason that Daniel was able to take up the role of Dream of the Endless was because he spent so much time in the Dreaming before he was born. So he was human, alive, and also from the Dreaming. The thought has occurred to me that perhaps a dream vortex could be capable of taking on the role of Dream of the Endless, but that doesn't quite make sense. Then I remembered the bit about destiny defining free will, death defining life, and dreams defining reality. So if dreams define reality, such that reality will always be more real than dreams, then there would be danger in reversing that. So since a dream vortex brings down the walls between dreams, it makes them more real than reality. So of course a dream vortex could not ever take up the role of Dream of the Endless because they are by nature the opposite of Dream. They make reality define dreams by being from the Waking World with the powers that they were born with.

I have no idea if any of this makes sense, and I do only have limited knowledge of the comics due to being unable to get my hands on them yet, hopefully I'll be able to read them soon. I'm well aware of most of the spoilers though. Anyway, I'm sending this ask in hopes that you can make more sense of my thoughts than I can. If this makes no sense at all or I've like missed something in my very scattered understanding of the comics or something, feel free to ignore this or call me an idiot. But I would like to hear your thoughts on this, I quite enjoy reading your meta posts. Idk hopefully this is worth reading.

oh i'd never call anyone an idiot even if i totally disagreed, fiction is what people make of it, whatever that means to them

but yeah i can have a go at straightening this out for you! (or at the very least sharing my own opinion on this stuff)

(i'm, actually also gonna put a readmore on this, bc wow this got long. hopefully interesting though)

so let's start with daniel. he's, yeah, half dream by nature, he says as much. (which, in the comics is due to lyta having such a long gestation in the dreaming, in the show they've explained it as the entire pregnancy was a dream, which honestly i like better and think makes more sense for what he is)

similar to a dream vortex in that he has innate control over some aspects of the dreaming, and can navigate between dreams while asleep

but different in that vortexes are human. (or, you know, in the dcu they have been alien before, but they are of the mortal population, they're not dreams)

(rose as a vortex who is also part endless is the first of her kind, and even that was manufactured)

gilbert's theory on why vortexes exist, is that they remind the endless that the mortals who dream are why dreams exist, not the other way around. they are naturally occuring phenomena, dream has no control over them, and while they pose an inherent tragedy for dream, they are also that humbling force

(i do wonder if something like this exists for all the endless, since death takes human form for one day every century, to remind her why she exists, and that's described as the price she must pay for being the barrier between life and death)

(dream's price is that there has never been a vortex he has not loved, and never one he hasn't had to kill)

daniel, on the other hand, is something new. as far as we know, he's unique, and he's certainly not a natural phenomenon. half human, half dreamstuff. and even then, he didn't ascend to dream in that state - loki murdered his human side. he was fully a dream by the time morpheus died. and daniel's also unique in being an existing being who ascended to endless. we know it can be done, even without the former endless dying - dream asks destruction why he never passed on his sigil, if he didn't want to be destruction anymore. destruction tells him that he didn't want to condemn anyone else to this fate, and the concept of destruction doesn't need a master to exist. but most of the endless are still in their original forms - the only other who isn't is despair

and this is where we get into my own headcanons (though supported by some canon evidence) - we know when an endless dies, that loss leaves a hole in reality that needs to be filled. gravity isn't a bad metaphor honestly, because that's what happened in overture - only one facet of morpheus died somehow, which shouldn't be possible, because he's only one being, just in many different images, it's like saying the you in one particular photo is dead, but the you in every other photo taken of you is still alive. but the universe has to do something with that weird glitch, so it dragged every other facet to where that facet died, to try and get one of them to plug the gap. but once they're there it becomes evident that that wasn't necessary, and also impossible, they're all the same being

and it took me a while to figure out how that happened and what makes that different to when morpheus died for good. but i think the key here is in tales from the sand (the first issue that gives us nada backstory). and it tells the story honestly to what the dream we know remembers. but it's told as a folk tale that has become a rite of passage between the men of a certain tribe. and at the end of that issue, it says this is one version of the story. the way the women tell the story is very different

and i think about how there's a dream for every single species and culture out there. why would dream's story be confined to earth? and what is dream, if not an amalgamation of stories?

so my best guess is that the important story beats, the things that actually hugely affect every single dream, those are consistent across every facet. they all found themselves in some tragedy that let to their death, for example. but the details of the story? those change. it's like translating a story, you can do your best, but you can never get every detail exactly right. the dream of an alien species halfway across the galaxy is not interacting with earth specific people. but they're having similar experiences

(and this means that the kinder nada story exists somewhere. just not from the human dream)

and that's how one facet can die, but it's also the first time a single facet has ever died - normally something like that is a big enough story beat that it should be happening uniformly. but it didn't, this story ended in death where no other story did, and that glitched the universe enough to pull every other facet down the plughole

back to despair, all that considered - i think when an endless dies normally, they will reincarnate, but they have to essentially reincarnate from scratch. it's gonna be like when they first came into being, and it's gonna be messy and a difficult transition (it is said that that was hard on her)

daniel gave dream an opportunity he wouldn't normally have. he puts his duty before everything else, so even if he was pretty suicidal all the way through, he's not gonna do anything that would endanger the dreaming. and his death would do that, because it would take the new dream time to acclimate to their new responsibility, and people would get hurt in the meantime. but daniel is an existing being, who dream can explain things to, give a dreamstone to as a guide. and because he's half dream (and dream's appointed successor, he did that in season of mists), when the universe registers a hole where dream should be, it reaches for the convenient being already present, before it has to resort to forming a new one

all of which is to say - if anything, daniel's kind of the opposite of a vortex. manufactured perfectly to take over the heart of the dreaming while causing as little damage as possible, vs natural phenomenon that if left unchecked will tear the dreaming apart

dream, though. i think dream and vortexes are very alike. like, the whole thing with the heart of the dreaming and that constant debate over what it is, is that the dreaming has a lot of hearts, there is no singular center of gravity. but dream is one. dream's palace is one. fiddler's green is one. and vortexes also become one, once they become active

all of those things drag other dreams and stories and dreamers to them, but most are in stable ways. vortexes are not, and there's nothing dream can do to make them stable. so to the detriment of everyone involved in this situation, they're going to collapse the entire universe into a single dream, getting bigger and bigger with every night they spend asleep

and dream may be stable now. but i don't know if he always was. because he's spent billions of years working on his control, this is something we get in hints throughout the series and something tom sturridge talks about in basically every interview - the amount of power he wields over people's minds, and being literally constructed from the collective subconscious, if he doesn't keep a tight lid on that at all times, it will explode and it will hurt everyone. in the comics whenever something happens that makes him lose a little bit of that control, it immediately impacts the state of the dreaming, and every single person in existence will dream about whatever dream is thinking about

we call him emotionally repressed but to an extent he's got no choice, if he lets himself feel something without his hundreds of layers in the way, everyone else will feel it too. he's pulling them all into the same dream

this may also be why dream appointed daniel rather than letting a new dream form on their own - it's very possible that dream right at the start of his life was very similar to a vortex. less destructive, perhaps, but extremely emotional and easily influenced by anyone around him, and putting those emotions into dreams before he learned how to not do that. and that's not something he wants to inflict on the dreaming

[eolewyn1010]

Farewell, Darkover - part 1

So. Once upon a long past time, I was a kid of 10 years who was given a book that said on its cover it was rated "13+". Well, I was a wannabe-precocious kid who mistook reading complex Fantasy for having a personality, so I read the damn thing. It was one of the Darkover books Marion Zimmer Bradley had written. It was several years after MZB's death (not that I was aware of that; at that age, I didn't think much of the authors of books that I read), but several years before everyone learned what, by now, everyone knows about MZB and her husband. Back then, there was no way for me to know that this particular series and 'verse had been created by a pedophile rapist and abuse apologist.

The book caught my attention, and I went and asked for more. The friend who gave me the first soon borrowed me the entire series, one by one, and the same way others got engulfed by Hogwarts or Middle Earth when they were young, I got engulfed by Darkover. It was Fantasy, it was Sci-Fi; I loved it. And while I enjoyed them immensely, I didn't have much more critical reading comprehension than your average pre-teen, or else some alarm bells might have gone off earlier. Back then, they didn't. I didn't analyse what I read; I built myself into that world, made myself a home there. It was a world of magic, powerful women, difficult relationships, its very own kind of technology and society, a play on speculative history - it was my very first great love among books, just a little more obscure than the usual picks of most of my generation because the friend who introduced me to them was a generation older and as such had books from the 1970s just lying around. And by now, I've reached the point where I taste bile whenever I see MZB's name. Oh well, it is a farewell comparable to what many young trans people had with the Harry Potter books. And rejecting books that had such an impact on me hurts, which I'm sure is an experience a lot of kids had with some revered media at some point.

From 10 to maybe 13 or 14, I read everything Darkover had to offer. I spent hours upon hours talking about them with my friend, I drew my favorite characters, I drafted up fanfiction long before I knew the word "fanfiction". There were parts of the books, parts of the worldbuilding that, even then, were a little dark for my age. Discussions of sexuality, incest, abuse in families and relationships, systemic oppression... I wasn't ignorant of these themes, but I also can't say that I fully comprehended how Darkover presented them. If I had, I might have noped out way back when. I knew the books discussed pedophilia, incest, rape and controlling, abusive, authoritarian relationships in the framing of its fantasy society - but I would have claimed with all the same certainty that these things were being condemned in the books. In hindsight, and with a look at a critical review of MZB's way more famous bestseller, The Mists of Avalon, I can't help but think that a lot of Darkover was actually, much like MoA, some form of apologia.

After MZB's kids told the public in 2014 what the hell had been going on in their home, I feel like her books very quickly made their way into obscurity - which is right and well; the generations who grow up without them will probably be happier and healthier for it. But I haven't seen a lot of later reflection by those who have read MZB, and who were influenced by her writings. I suspect it's because I'm born too late to be in contact with the people who did; that isn't actually my generation, as the books reached me by way of someone in whose time they "belonged". Despite MZB being occasionally called a "female Tolkien", her books weren't the evergreen The Lord of the Rings is. They were very much 60s' and 70s' books. But there's also a darker side to this: A few people whose opinions I've read who insist, even now, that even The Mists of Avalon, the darkest and most vile of hers in terms of apologia and disgusting content, is and always has been a feminist masterpiece. Which it is not. It's not worthy of reverence, it's not worthy of praise or of being defended. Because it cannot be separated from MZB's crimes. The concept of Death of the Author fails where the author made her books all about her personal views - and those views are a nightmare.

MoA will be part of what I want to talk about here, but my primary experience was with Darkover, the oldest books of which predated Avalon by about 20 years. I genuinely think MZB got a lot worse and a lot more blunt about her bullshit in later years, and perhaps that's part of why I didn't get it. Perhaps Darkover was too subtle for dumbass lil' me. This is the first part of what'll be a sort of serial essay in which I look into my personal history with MZB's books, and how I came to terms with recognizing, rejecting and condemning wholeheartedly what had once been my fantasy refuge. It's also a bit about taking a stance - by now, I should be enough of an adult to say out loud that MZB was a piece of human garbage who should never have been celebrated as a feminist heroine writer (no, not even "for her time") and whose ideas should hold no place in highly praised literature. And that includes literature I used to love.

[taegularities]

Rid, this maybe a small rant so bear w me pls >:(

I was having a conversation with my roommate in college yesterday about books and reading in general. She is picky when it comes to reading, mostly inclining towards romance and sub genres within the umbrella. While I believe that reading anything is a good practice, she is radical in her opinion. In the sense that she believes books which are officially published in a hardcover are credible enough to be called books or novels for the matter. Recently i revealed to her that I’ve been reading fan fiction for 3 years now and her reaction was… quirky? She thinks that fanfiction writers are still amateurs in writing, have no experience with editors and they only write as a hobby so they don’t put in as much effort as a novel writer would, so their stories are dumb when compared to novelists and best selling authors. I argued that fan fiction is not something to be looked down upon cause some people have put out excellent things to read and they do work hard on their plots and characters. Even if they are not accustomed to working with publishers and all but that doesn’t work as an authentic judgement that fanfic writers can’t be placed as the same level of some authors. Just putting out a book in hardcover doesn’t equate quality of a story, it only means you had access with some publishing house. The argument kinda took a sour turn cause she was unwilling to take in my pov so I asked her if you think fanfic writers suck then tell me which stories you have read in your entire lifetime which you consider masterpieces then i might recommend you some stories from my end to change your perspective. She texted me sometime ago and most of her list includes Colleen Hoover 😐 it kinda made me realize that in fact we as readers must have a fanfic phase in life otherwise we would place authors like CoHo with incredibly poor taste in writing on the pedestal and look down on underrated talents in the field of literature. I still can’t comprehend what does CoHo write in her books that attracts mass attention from people cause all she does is glorify toxic relationships and normalize it with her weak happy endings. I’ve read around 3 books from her and lemme tell you some of the bts fics on ao3 & tumblr deserved way better audience than she does. In my opinion, the only reasons books like these blow up is due to people who have a first time experience in reading and don’t really take much interest in reading, it’s disgraceful to way better writers who are overlooked cause they don’t suit the usual trend due to certain criteria they don’t fit in, the criteria being easy choice of vocabulary, some aesthetic corny words, incredible smut and bland character development. Maybe the lack of quality romance novels in bookstores has me caving into fanfics because I feel in some measures I’d rather spend a week completing works of a fanfic writer with amazing plots for free over spending dollars and wasting time on books I end up disliking because of their stuff characters having absolutely no growth or a potential plot going to waste.

rant anytime, love <3

oof, i don't know much about colleen hoover, so i can't judge.. but honestly, any kind of creative work should be appreciated. like, i used to be young adult girly myself, and got into writing like that, so i feel like none of us should drag down someone's effort (not talking about you, just in general!!). and like, as a fanfic author myself i do feel a bit bleh about your friend saying we are amateurs bc we don't work with publishers lol :') i've actually thought about this before. editors have so much work to do, like they need to perfect a story, right? i know it's different for us, but most beta readers i know do the same.. literally sit down and spend hours reading a fic to help a writer improve it (shoutout to you ily @missgeniality). tbh, i'd say agree to disagree with your friend and enjoy whatever you enjoy!! sometimes it's hard to explain a pov to someone. but tysm for standing up for fanfic authors, like i'm so happy you cherish them the way you do <3

[writingamarie]

hey! I was just wondering if you were going to be participating in the jegulus author's strike?

(also i love mtsitd so fucking much you don't even know like i can't stop thinking about it lmao)

okay so i took a second so i could think of my response. this short answer is no, so if that’s all someone wants to know they can stop reading.

but the “long” response is that i respect the strike -and i understand the effectiveness of strikes can be diminished when people don’t participate. i have seen a whole lot of hate to jegulus authors and while i try not to get involved in the drama it is hard to comprehend how attacked some people are getting over a hobby.

i started reading fanfiction way too young -like mature fanfiction. i can remember on other websites how nothing got tagged to avoid having stories flagged -sometimes reading was a gamble. i love the filter system on ao3 and while there are some wild stories on the site that go beyond what i am personally comfortable with i follow the DLDR mentality. i don’t recommend things without specific parameters to make sure i’m not offering someone a story they’d be uncomfortable with. but in general i have seen how the marauders fandom -especially the jegulus fandom can get wild… no one’s mental health should ever be at risk because of attacks from anons online -and i respect the people that are able to step back.

but for me personally. mtsitd was honestly a therapy assignment. a way to control the narrative of things that happened in my life in a manner that felt safe. and i know myself. if i stop posting for a whole month the story will fall apart. like i know that my motivation will fall. i can take small breaks but something as long as a month won’t go well with my set up and how my brain works.

my plan is to take a week off over thanksgiving. i may also limit my posting to twice a week for the month. i want to support the strike, i want to stand by the other authors who need this strike, i want people to be able to write and enjoy fanfiction.

[sgcairo]

I’m amazed (and in love) with how u still hold onto dottore’s apathetic trait. Ik it’s obvious but I see a lot of people brushing it off, I personally dislike it..

Can you please speak about him and emotions more? So much light on pantalone pls don’t abandon the doctor😞 hehe. Not necessarily between babyttore and pantalone but also other things such as grief anger and love (also loneliness I’m curious)

Do u think someone before outed him about his (dottore’s) actions and how he doesn’t realize/care abt the consequences of them and how they affect others? If yes could u please explain dottore’s inner and outer reaction? Sorry im so Inlove with your characterization 😆

Honestly, I hate it when people brush off the fact that yes, he's an apathetic bastard. That's the whole point of his character, the risk of science without morals. And I like theorizing about it, because psychology is interesting and I'm a psychology nut.

I got you on the emotions bit. I kind of went over these in some of my previous answers to your asks, but it's time to deep dive, as it's my favorite thing to do other than write stupid fanfiction and read my books.

Here's the thing: Dottore is hard to characterize at times because I really can't relate to apathy, so it's a lot of speculation. He's just as crazy as they get, and I just have to let go of my own moral standpoints when thinking in his general perspective. No morals, just arson and destruction.

Dottore is a man of few emotions in general. And that's why he's so confused when Babytorre invokes some of these strange feelings within him. He's a wild card with how he feels, and honestly seems a bit scattered in terms of how his emotions present themselves. His anger is manifested in the destruction of the things he's worked so hard to create, his satisfaction is shown through lack of work on these projects, instead used as time to go bother others or take a moment to sit down and consider the outcomes.

But for things such as grief and love, he doesn't understand them. It's not that he doesn't feel them, he just can't recognize them when they happen. The first time he feels anything close to either, he thinks he's sick, as physical sensations equivalent to actual love are foreign to him. He's so detached from feeling them that he can't even tell what they are anymore, and that's where the whole "apathy" portion really strikes hard.

He just lacks the understanding and conceptualization of these feelings, which makes him detached from his victims. He does it because he believes in furthering his research, but also because he can't relate to the feelings that stem from having unpleasant experiences. He detached those feelings long ago, and now he can't exactly recover them easily, as he doesn't know them anymore.

Within childhood, there's a crucial stage of psychological development that's called "preconceptual morality". Basically, it's the idea that most of a child's actions are typically egocentric, or surrounding their own self interest. Dottore is the perfect example of a lack of development past this stage. He does only what benefits him. The definition of preconceptual morality also spreads to adults "under extreme pressure". So Dottore's own responsibilities ambitions and self imposed expectations may be a root cause of this, or simply his own lack of moral exemplifications.

He's quite literally a psychopath. I could throw all my above analysis away by just saying that his brain doesn't comprehend emotions, and his violent tendencies have stemmed from that in their own right.

But loneliness is an interesting emotion, as Dottore is unfamiliar with feeling lonely. He's always been a man that works alone, that much is clear. And by feeling lonely... It's not an emotion he's ever really felt or recognized as an actual ability.

From a psychological standpoint, we develop our ideas of emotions through our guardians/caretakers. They teach us what we're feeling and how to deal with that. Part of me wonders if Dottore just wasn't told no or that manifesting his feelings in such unproductive ways was bad. Either he has parent issues, or he just completely lacks the emotional awareness that most people have.

And yes, Pantalone in particular outed him about how he doesn't understand feelings, and that he's heartless. Basically chewed him out for being inconsiderate, especially towards Pantalone himself.

And let's just say that Dottore reacted poorly. I like to think that he doesn't yell, but he definitely has a warning tone, the "I'm dangerous and I could mutilate you if I pleased" type of tone. Pantalone is one of the few people below him that isn't terrified of it. Dottore wouldn't be visibly shaken, he's too good at keeping his physical displays of emotion in check.

But internally, I would think that Dottore wouldn't feel much of anything at all. In fact, he might even agree. But depending on the situation, it would also make the tiniest crack in his chest, for all the unpleasant feelings to leak out. He definitely knows what it's like to feel defeat and anger, along with frustration and jealousy. He lacks the counter balance for them. He would likely feel his own form of frustration, especially because Pantalone dares speak to him like that, much less after everything the Doctor has done for him. How dare he go against Dottore, they were on the same side.

Arguably, I think Pantalone's opinion is the only one Dottore would respect, every once in a blue moon. Only because he's the only Harbinger that doesn't actively pursue murder and instead plays the game of manipulation. And when two manipulative bastards are honest with each other for once... It doesn't end well.

So there's my brainrot for that. Hopefully it makes sense, I wrote this in the middle of the night with only two braincells skipping in circles to the "it's corn" meme.

Dottore is just a mess of a man, there's no explaining it. I cannot with his thought process, it just jumps around like a possessed Easter bunny.

Meanwhile Pantalone is just enough of a bastard to be coherent, there's a reason why I live their dynamic. Scattered and composed, the perfect complementary personalities.

[folklauerate]

It wasn't you that wrote that santhony fic but all the rest checks out, too many bitches in this fandom fake love Kanthony seeing the god awful and out of characters fic your write and how much you love to bring Siena into their relationship and have Kate and Anthony cheat on each other. Also I can't wait for Bridgerton to cast Sophie since you like to invent gay ships and ignore the existence of canon women of this saga :)

I wonder if the anon message someone sent me earlier was from you or from someone else, and that anon sent you a screenshot of what they sent me and you two have discussed it together! That, you silly billy, is fan behavior <3

This has really tickled me because it couldn't be further from the truth, and so, I really wonder how much of my work you're 1) reading and 2) comprehending and 3) if you have any reading comprehension skills at all whatsoever. I think this message proves that you do not.

Honestly, I feel as though I really don't write anything remotely angsty lmfao. I don't write them cheating on each other or in relationships with other people because I personally cannot always handle writing certain subject matter because it makes me a touch sad! You can come comb through my AO3 and see that this is exactly the case.

That being said, even if I did write those things, it is none of your business that I do. It's literally fanfiction. Since the beginning of fanfiction, from the dawn of the internet, people have been writing and shipping random characters together for their own fun. For me, at least, I enjoy having a creative outlet and exploring different scenarios, and I would never begrudge another person to write whatever they want and whomever they want. If I don't like a certain ship or the setting of a fic--I don't read it! It is as simple as that! And I certainly don't take time out of my day to go into the inbox of someone on tumblr and send them a cowardly anon message, riddled with untruths, that is only spreading hate. Funnily enough, in attempting to "stick up" for "women" and/or "woc," you are quite literally harassing a woman of color, who, I assure you, does not at all have the same amount of money or connections or influence Simone Ashley does. You are quite literally sending hate and rude comments to someone who faces plenty of racism, sexism, and homophobia, and who lacks the privilege wealth and influence might provide as a shield that a very famous actress does. On what planet is continuing to harass someone anonymously--which you do because you know that these comments are wrong, and if you sent them from your actual account, you'd be reported and lose your privileges on the internet, and rightfully so--defending the very same people you claim to love and "stan"? Do you think they would cheer and be joyful that you are spreading such hate and vitriol in their name? Do you think anyone in their right mind would support such actions?

I know that this sort of misplaced hatred comes because you lack power and the ability to have control over your own life, and likely because you are deeply unhappy with yourself. While I have never taken the time out of my day to harass and spread hate in this way, I've suffered from feelings of depression and unhappiness before, too--a lot of people have. I promise you, this is not the way to find happiness with your life. It is not the way to feel any power over your life, it is not the way to feel any joy or find meaning out of your life.

If you need to speak to someone about your feelings, I urge you to call up a friend. I urge you to write a letter and then throw it away. I urge you to get all these feelings out of your head and then take a long, nice walk, with good music. Find a hobby--you can even start writing fanfiction, which is free, fulfilling, and you can do it in your own free time that you will now have because you've stopped spreading hate, and you can make friends who share your interests!

There is a brighter, better world out there, and I want you to discover it for yourself. You will feel so much more fulfilled and happy with your life when you do. Yelling at people you don't know online and sending them hate messages is not the way to live a happy, fulfilled, meaningful life. It is not the way to feel content and at peace with yourself. It is also not the way to make friends! Anon, let me tell you something; I have written plenty of fanfiction about Kate and Anthony. A lot of it is actually quite good. When people are kind to me and are my friends, I send them snippets of that writing before I put it up on AO3, just because I know they'll enjoy it. I talk about AU ideas with them, I talk about characters with them, I make jokes about those characters! It's fun. It's nice. I could do all of that with you, too, if you were kinder. Lucky for you, I am quick to forgive and like to see the best in people. I urge you to look for the best in yourself, work on yourself, and then come back. It doesn't have to be this way.

[theteasetwrites]

You're way too full of yourself for someone that can't do the basic of being neutral about the physical appearance on a xReader, excluding a lot of people

All right let's get some things straight, tho I doubt you have the reading comprehension or intelligence to understand anything I am about to tell you, so maybe it's a waste of time and I am giving you too much credit by assuming you will use the one brain cell you possess to read this in its entirety, but I am passionate enough about this to defend myself to a moron like you. To make things easier for your feeble little brain, I have bolded significant elements of my response (and keep in mind, I am not responding this in-depth because I care about you, I am doing it to a) insult you because you're pathetic, and b) spread this message to others because I do want to take this opportunity to clarify some important things).

First of all, I am assuming you are referring to my series, The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning, because that is the only piece of writing I have done that somewhat alludes to the possibility of the Reader having a specific appearance (which, by the way, it doesn't really).

Spoiler for the series, but the Reader character is Aaron's sister. This is the only aspect of the Reader that alludes to her physical appearance, because Aaron is white. Yes, Aaron is white. Does that mean the Reader is white too? Idk, who gives a shit. It's fanfiction. She can look however you want, she can be any race you want to imagine, I literally don't care.

Real talk, do you think that you're ever actually going to be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, fighting alongside Daryl Dixon, and living in the world of The Walking Dead? No? Well, then you can suspend your disbelief to comprehend that zombies are real, then you can also suspend your disbelief to imagine you're some fictional man's sister. Or, you can simply not fucking read it if you have an issue with it.

Also, are you a librarian? Are you from Virginia? Do you like vintage dresses and do you snort when you laugh? Was your mom a religious zealot who sold Avon? Was your dad a plumber? NO? Oh, well then why don't you complain about those things too while you're at it. Here's the thing about x Reader fanfiction: there is never, ever going to be an x Reader fanfiction where the Reader insert is completely neutral, without any characterization. If you want to read something where the Reader insert has absolutely no characterization and is a complete blank slate, good fucking luck trying to find it. And if you do, it's gonna be boring as Hell.

For a series like that (92 parts and counting rip), the character NEEDS to have some sort of characterization. She is a person. She needs definition, otherwise she'd be boring as Hell and basically just a stock character with no discernible qualities.

When I decided the reader was going to be Aaron's sister, I did it solely based on Aaron's personality and characterization, and I wanted the reader to be a sister of an existing character. That was a significant element of what I wanted to write, and for that to happen, she was bound to be related to someone who has a race (because you know... everyone has a race). So, I chose Aaron—he's optimistic, funny, caring, empathetic, sometimes a little naive, brave, open-minded, family-oriented, loyal, a bit of a hopeless romantic... Wow he's just like my reader character. He could've been any race, but he happens to be white. The point is, he's a lot like the characterization for the reader.

My reader insert for that series is a character. I've said many times that she is essentially an OC, but I do like the idea of people reading it to imagine their own OC in terms of physical appearance, so that's why I wrote it in second person/in x Reader format. Does Reader being Aaron's (a white man's) sister sort of jeopardize that? Well, yeah, possibly, but like I said, it's fanfiction. It's not always going to be completely realistic, and if someone reading my series (or ANY of my fanfiction) wants to imagine that Reader is a POC, DO IT!!! That's awesome, DO IT. Who gives a shit if Aaron is white? You're already fucking a fictional man who doesn't exist.

The point is, I wanted to characterize the reader, and I like the x Reader format, so I used that instead of creating a full on OC. I get if you maybe would rather not read it because of that, but to come on here and try to insult me (by the way you did a shitty job because this is just funny to me), I'm going to insult you back.

Okay, second of all, I literally have never defined ANY reader's appearance. I literally have no idea what you're talking about. I try to always remain neutral when describing her appearance, but here's the thing, if I do accidentally imply something about her appearance, who gives a shit? Just move past it and imagine whatever fucking person you want like dude it's not that hard use your tiny walnut brain.

Oh, and you say I am fULL OF MYSELF? Bitch I hate myself more than you ever could, you wish you hated me as much I do like you can't even COMPETE with my self-hatred, my self-hatred has LEVELS, my self-hatred spans time itself, my self-hatred is an ancient primordial being you wish you knew the extent of it but I fear you're too fucking stupid to even understand it.

Okay that was a really long response but I just wanted to clear things up. Basically, suck my cock anon I hope your day is shitty <3

[drunktuesdays]

I posted 1,990 times in 2022

That's 985 more posts than 2021!

254 posts created (13%)

1,736 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@theroseandthebeast

@orange-catsidy

@thevaudevillescene

@kissing-monsters

@dykecassidy

I tagged 1,885 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#wrestling - 666 posts

#i know that's right - 110 posts

#asks - 61 posts

#matt jackson - 60 posts

#i know that’s right - 56 posts

#correct - 37 posts

#my work - 30 posts

#that's right - 26 posts

#dustin - 26 posts

#alpha4alpha - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and buck's so stressed and urgent about being like i don't want to test my couch out. i know what i want. i just want the couch to want me

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

unfortunately real shit

334 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

#4

THE MEDICINE IS NOT WORKING BUT I AM STILL HERE.

395 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

#3

Why I Am Not Coming Into Work Today

Dear employers,

I will have to take the day off today because:

☐ It’s December and the streets are papier-mached with wet bronze leaves and it’s so dark outside that the cars have their headlights on at 3pm

☐ I have recently been through a breakup, or I have been through a breakup at any time in my life really, and I woke up today with the absolute conviction that I will never be loved again

☐ A dog looked at me

☐ I got a text from someone for whom I feel a mix of concern and frustration and recognition and longing that is both more and less than romance

☐ Someone made a joke about dead pets meeting you in heaven

☐ Daylight savings time

☐ I passed a knot of flowers that were so bright they glowed through the dim grey water of the day and when was anything in my life last that luminous?

☐ Girls are too pretty

☐ For the first time I genuinely comprehend that there is not enough time to have all the lives I wanted

☐ I accidentally listened to Leonard Cohen

-"Why I Am Not Coming Into Work Today" by Jess Zimmerman

597 notes - Posted December 5, 2022

#2

i love when fanfictions make men cry. it's like, one of the most important things anyone's ever doing. i'm currently reading a fic where the on-screen men are either fucking or they're absolutely weeping. just sobbing their stupid brains out. i'm scrolling through it SO happily like, thank u. thank you for your hard work, author. people might not like to admit it but this is peak performance. if men aren't sucking, fucking, or sobbing then i don't even wanna see it. dry eyes? dry pussy

834 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

everyone is fucking but no one is horny

one of my twitter friends recently said that if she could order up a fic it would be a story written by someone who has only ever read the classics, 1.5 star trek novelizations, and their mother's romance novels from 1970, written about two people are so out of their minds horny for each other it causes them to make the absolute worst choices anyone's ever made.

and i almost lost my mind laughing because i do know exactly what she means. there is a weird vibe i can sometimes sense within the first few paragraphs a fic that really bums me out. it's almost like i can tell the author is thinking way too much about what i'm thinking about their id and it's suddenly like we're all suddenly wondering how riding a bicycle works when we're mid-ride. when you start worrying too much audience interpretation or how a fic is going to do or play or ugh marketability, it genuinely adds some weird self-conscious distance to whatever you're doing. and it's the pits from the reader side because it removes so much horniness from your story even if the idea you have is genuinely good! i know this is not a niche complaint--you find it literally everywhere as every sector of the creative internet gets #content-ed and people can't escape the stats of how any given creative outlet does.

but god there's literally nothing better than sitting down and reading some freaknasty person's art where they do not give a single shit if you like it. they had something to say and my god they were gonna say it. i've accidentally acquired so many kinks by clicking on a story where someone took me on the most insane ride of my life and i thrilled about it. i don't wanna read about polite normal regular love. i don't wanna read about people using therapy-speak on each other. i wanna read about two people feeling the biggest craziest feelings of their entire life and they cannot do anything about it except bang it out. what else are we doing here? if they're not fucking down an entire house, well jed i don't even wanna read it.

3,899 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[yjhgvf]

I tried to list is as less bias as I could, but…

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/aroaceyesiam/691560071191248897?source=share

I don't agree with some of your points and worries, and I'm going to try and explain why as politely as possible.

~~~

For Issue 1, and my apologies if I'm misunderstanding your point please tell me if I am, I feel that you're essentially saying that we shouldn't be saying our preferences on what we'd rather read or what we like better. Is it an issue if I say "I think Gia's 'Change of Family' fanfic is better than her and Briar's 'Painted Berries' fanfic"? Is it an issue if I say "I don't like 'Painted Berries' because there's many scenes that trigger me and make me uncomfortable, and therefore I can't enjoy the reading experience much less sit through it"? I personally just feel that "don't say which stories that a creator has made are the best to you because that's favoritism" is a stupid thing to say.

Saying that all the stories a person has made are good is just not realistic. I'm not going to say that I like all of Gia's stories the same and that I think they're all good, because that's simply not true. I do like some of Gia's stories, and by extension regard some of them as "the best she's made", but as I said before, those are opinions. The issue when it comes to fanfiction isn't the action of people liking and disliking certain fanfics, it's the maturity of those people when they choose to talk about those fanfics and when someone has a different opinion from them. I've seen people throw hate at Gia and Briar because they didn't like one of their fanfics, and that's just unacceptable. People need to be more mature when disagreeing on or disliking something. The problem isn't the opinion, it's the actions of the people who hold those opinions.

Issue 2 in my opinion is just a rehash of a past drama this fandom has had before with a little more added to make it seem like it's not a rehash, and my stance on that particular issue is the same. Flamy is not getting more views and likes on her video because people are racist towards Gia and Briar. Gia and Briar get plenty of views and likes, and Flamy also gets plenty of hate comments as well.

Call it the "white perspective" all you want, but I still find it fucking ridiculous that people are still immediately jumping to the conclusion that Flamy gets more views because of race and racism. Am I denying that racism against asians exists? No. Do I just think that there's other and more probable reasons why Flamy gets more views? Yes. You wanna know why I think Flamy gets more attention? I think it's because Flamy doesn't just make BATMM content, and makes content with other fandoms as well. Gia and Briar tend to make only BATMM content and rarely content from other fandoms. Keep in mind that the BATMM fandom is small, while other fandoms, such as Owl House, are much bigger. More people seeing your content of bigger fandoms means that they're likely to stick around for your content of smaller fandoms.

Issue 3 is... okay I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I despise this whole "maid dress blaze" debate/issue. Why is this even considered an issue? I fail to comprehend the logic behind thinking that putting one of the main characters of the show in a maid dress a bunch of times is "problematic". I want you, and everyone reading this, to remember that Stripes, Starla, Zeg, Watts, Darington, and Gabby are considered to be side characters in the show's eyes, not main characters. It's why the show doesn't tend to feature them in episodes and instead prioritizes featuring the "main four" instead. I feel that it's expected for there to be more art and content of the main characters and than the side characters.

If people are complaining about Blaze being in a maid dress too much and therefore "not giving the other characters a chance" then I feel like they should also be complaining about Crusher being the main/central character in 90% of this fandom's fanfictions and therefore "not giving the other characters a chance". And if anyone reading this says that it's unfair to judge Crusher for being in too many fanfics because that's who the writers just chose to be the main character, congratulations, you now understand my point. Please just let people draw whoever they want in whatever they want. I don't understand why this has become such a big issue, because it really shouldn't have gotten to this point.

Regarding your bonus, first of all, please just say that you're talking about Quattro. You named all the other content creators you were talking about by name, so I honestly don't understand why you chose to avoid using Quattro's name and just choose to refer to him as "this one guy". That's not the main thing I wanna say regarding the bonus though.

The main thing I want to say is that people take varying amounts of time to improve their art and content. It took me years to improve how I draw my eyes and body shapes, because I'd always draw thin characters with the same eyes, when people just aren't like that. On the other hand, I rather quickly improved how I draw hair in just a few months. My point is that Quattro has not stayed the same overtime. His art and gacha concepts have definitely improved in the time he's been in this fandom, it's just at a slower rate and with small improvements each time rather than large improvements. And you know what, that's perfectly fine. People will improve at different rates, you just need to give them the time to do so.

[dojunie]

Hello, it's "time goes by fast" anon. May I ask you for some tips for writing? How did you get into it? I've tried to myself, but I mainly draw and it's so different and harder compared to writing. It might be because my first language isn't English, so when I try to come up with sentences, it kind of gets stuck at finding the right words.

tips for writing!!!!! my goodness i wish i had a specific set of rules or thoughts or whatever but i have no set lines that i follow 🤕🤕🤕🤕 and i used to draw too!!!! i had this blog on tumblr where i used to upload my art for bts, but as i gradually grew out of bts and drawing in general, i stopped updating it lol

i got into writing fanfiction in 2014 when i was fourteen i think (5SOS... 💀) but ive been making up stories for basically my whole life, so i have no concrete rules... so i'll just mention a few of the things i do that help me put out a finished product that i'm proud of!

[a/n]: i got WAY too into answering this so it's going under a readmore LOL, please scroll if this doesn't interest you

what i do is that i edit... a lot. probably too much. definitely too much. if i had to give you the #1 thing i do that i think has the biggest impact on my work, is that i am Always Editing. ive heard other advice where people say to not edit until you're done, but i just don't operate that way; i gotta edit as i go. i just gotta. every single time i open something i'm working on i read it over from the very beginning of that chapter/scene, and always end up fixing a few things on the way down that i didn't notice while writing. and if you do this every time, or often enough, eventually you will shape your words into something you've really thought through and understand the purpose of. for example, like you said, a sentence where the words/idea doesn't quite flow as well as i envisioned it in my head. i take things out, i delete it altogether and try rewriting it with a different feeling, i move the sentence to a different part of the paragraph, i try a different word (i LOVE the thesaurus.com website for helping me find different words for the same meaning, cause it really spices up a sentence if the word sounds too... stuck. i literally have it saved in my browser bookmarks lol.)

and besides my habit of excessively overediting i'm not sure what else to tell you 😔 so i'm going to list a few things ive realized i really pay attention to while writing! ⇩⇩⇩⇩

sentence length!!! vary your sentences!!! this really helps keep the reader engaged with reading and comprehending tone and feelings; i.e long sentences feel very descriptive, they draw you in with a lot of information at once and (especially in dialogue!) / and shorter sentences feel important, sharp and direct, they snap quicker and more suddenly. long and short work well together!

character voices!! for me, this means the way each person in the story thinks, acts, or talks; like how in misdial, Jeno's 'voice' is very matter of fact. it's a little more blunt, a bit flat and unemotive, to the point that his true feelings are often misunderstood because people can't tell what he's thinking. he's serious. still. careful. so i use a lot of periods and short sentences to try and get this across! with mc, however, i want her to come across as spunky, easily agitated, hard-headed and quite relaxed; so i make it a point to have her talk back under her breath, she curses a lot, sometimes speaks before she thinks about what she's really saying. a lotta exclamation points, wordy sentences, smart-ass retorts and playful comments. the way your character talks (in their head and out loud) really sets the tone of the writing!

if something sounds weird and clunky, or stuck, try reading it out loud! not like yelling it or anything, but maybe just whisper it to yourself. i've found that this helps me figure out which part of a sentence is the weird bit that needs to be changed to flow better.

dont be afraid to scrap certain parts or change a scene completely! this is something i struggle with still, lmao, but ive unfortunately realized that it does actually help to cut a part if it's giving you hell. (by this i mean it doesn't flow right no matter what you do, doesn't fit the rest of the scene, or feels clunky and weird and wont sound right no matter how you edit it). i was stuck on a fic once for almost a week, trapped by a scene that i couldn't bear the part with because i thought it NEEDED to be in the fic... and then the moment i removed it and tried to write it a different way, it just worked. (and just to be clear, i dont delete it completely! i just copy paste the problem section into a temporary doc so i dont lose all that work, but sometimes just getting it out of the way is enough to get the gears turning again!)

and that's all i guess!?!?! WOW i kind of went crazy with this but ive never been asked this question before, and really wanted to give you my honest thoughts... so i genuinely hope this helps you in some way!!!!

tysm for asking me this! thinking about this so seriously actually helped me as well 🙇‍♀️

(i'm going to dub you 📚 anon <3)

[its-wingedbouquet-fan]

I stopped writing a long time ago as I have stopped reading books or other creative works in such intense, time-consuming, and emotionally involved ways.

Recently, I rediscovered my old writings in the form of poems and even fanfictions. And all I felt were awe and longing for someone that I used to be. There was some embarrassment here and there, but I was not prepared for the extreme longing and gut-wrenching realization that some part of me that I used to love, that part of me that used to be able to care for people and things so deeply, that same part of me that always find goods in people, might never return.

I understand that I'm the person that I am right now because, currently, this is how I survive life. As I was the way I was, because of the same reason. That I, as a human, tuning my views and behaviors based on the input and weight that I have received. Constantly learning and changing to survive the conditions that I found myself in.

I can't help but resent the years that my learning path had to go through a massive halt, and therefore rapidly change my perspectives on everything, too fast for my own heart to comprehend.

There are so many what-ifs and so many versions of me that I won't get the chance to know.

There are so many relationships and so many people that were lost, beyond recovery, along the way.

I questioned my decisions that I've made almost every single day. But, in the end, all I can say to myself is that I made those decisions with the knowledge that I had back then, trying to choose the best course of action, trying to protect myself.

Some stuff still feels unfinished, and some feel like it needs to be recovered, even when there's nothing left to save. So I persist. I'm just trying to protect myself.

From pain.

From you.

It all boils down to me, missing parts of myself that have changed in the course of time, molded in a way that sometimes I don't recognize.