Asgore, every so often, sees buttercups growing where there should be golden flowers. And it makes him think.
He thinks about his life. All the mistakes he’s made.
Toriel was right about him. He let so many monsters lose HOPE. He let his own children die, and other children, too.
He contemplates. He makes his decision.
He can’t.
He can’t let any more monsters down. If he… there would be no more hope. Yet, he couldn’t go back on his past decisions.
The past was in the past, and Asgore was not the type to go back on promises. He knows what he did was wrong.
BUT HE CANNOT DIE. HE CANNOT LOSE HOPE. HE HAS TO KEEP GOING.
As long as it takes.
He will keep going.
But sometimes, he’s selfish. He hopes no humans will fall down, and he rots underground. But he cannot condemn himself without condemning others to the same fate.
He will keep going. As long as he can. As long as it takes.
He misses his children. He misses his wife. He misses his friend. But they’ve all moved on, in different ways. Yet he can’t seem to go on, and leave this state of mind.
He thinks about his family. Rudy… felt like family. Asgore misses him. Toriel left him. She was right to. He misses her. His children are dead. They were so young. He wishes he died in their place. It’s selfish. But then, Toriel would still love him, and would rule in his place. She could spend time with them.
If Asgore had died that day.
Asriel was so full of joy. He loved everyone, and thought that everyone deserved to be forgiven.
Chara was so full of hate and anger when they first fell down. Asgore could tell why. He knew those feelings well. He could understand Chara, in his own way.
He thinks about how they gave him buttercups instead of butter by accident when they made him a pie. He thinks about how he got very sick and could barely get out of bed. He thinks about when Chara got very sick and could barely get out of bed.
Chara reminds him of himself.
Asgore cries softly. He realized. His paws are over his eyes as he collapses onto the floor. He laughs, despite himself. If his family could see him now.
He misses them so, so much.
=======OPTIONAL=======
Everyone is on the surface now.
He has a child again. The human who freed the monsters from their prison. They are everything like Chara, yet nothing like them at the same time. He feels like he might be replacing them. He feels guilty.
There is a tiny golden flower. His name is Flowey. Flowey the Flower. The name sounds like something he would come up with. It almost feels as if he did.
Flowey reminds Asgore of his son. Asriel. He misses him so much. Flowey is everything like him, but he acts so hateful. Perhaps he simply needs someone to talk to.
Toriel is back, but she refuses to talk to him, other than a few hateful comments. Others respond, but Asgore thinks he deserves it. She seems to be running out of bad things to say. He hopes it will get better.
Everything is different now. Everyone is trying so hard. He misses his old life. But he’s finally moving on.
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going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down
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Gods above I am so fucking stupid (but how could I resist) Based on this tweet. Unfortunately I could not extract the mandolin
[ID: a tweet by @neitherabaron on twitter replying to a reply on another post by Jessica Law. Her tweet reads “Stop taking my lyrics and making them weird!” The tweet in response, by Kofi, reads “my rewrite of trial by song: I’m not a man/i don’t have hands/thought I could speak (followed by 3 mins of dead silence)” end ID]
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