#I dunno how to explain this does this make sense?

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Mad Season 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, social anxiety, chronic illness, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes, Peter Parker

Summary: a class project gets messy. (short!reader)

Note: happy weekend.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

“Hey, how’d you get in?” Peter rushes in, a tray of drinks in hand. 

You pop up on the stool, broken from your trance. Uncertain what else to do, you spent much of your time trying to distract yourself with his schematics. You twist to face him. 

“Um, Bucky,” you answer and cringe at home dumb you sound. “He helped.” 

“Bucky? Helpful?” He nears and puts the cardboard tray on the table, “I guess he can be.” He picks at the edge of the tray, “I got you a blueberry matcha. The place I hit didn’t have strawberry in season anymore.” 

“Oh, sounds... interesting, but you--” 

“Didn’t have to. I know, you always say so but I felt bad for being so late. I told may to get an airtag for her wallet. She can be so--” he stops himself and chuckles. “It’s whatever. She’s got a lot going on.” 

“Mhm,” you accept the cup he offers. “I was just looking over the plans. I think we could probably just go with yours. Makes more sense.” 

“What? Oh, no way,” he takes his iced whatever. It just looks like layers of sugar and cream. “I think we could easily bring together both. Take some of your features and mine. I don’t want to take over.” 

“Yeah, but...” 

“But nothing. Really. It’s a team project, not my project,” he insists as he hops up on the stool next to you, “so,” he swipes his hand in the air and a holographic screen appears. You flinch. “Let’s compare and redraw.” 

You gape as another floating rectangle appears before him. No wonder his look so much better than your Paint hack job. You want to sink down and disappear. You always figured you’re not interesting enough to be his friend but now you’re certain you might be too stupid and poor for him too. 

“So, I’m going to get logged in...” he mutters. 

“Um, Peter?” You murmur, “are you sure you wanna be my partner?” 

“Why... wouldn’t I?” He hovers his hand before the screen as he looks at you. 

“I dunno. I don’t... I don’t have much to offer. Not a lab, not all these cool computers...” 

“Oh this? No, it’s not—it's not a big deal. Dude, I'm so lucky Mr. Stark is letting me use this. I’m not ignorant, you know? I just thought it would be easier. I don’t think your roommates like me much and mine are so loud.” he explains as he lowers his arm, crossing both over the table as he leans on it. “Do you not want to be my partner?” 

“Nnnooo,” you drag the word out. “No, I do, but I want to contribute to and I don’t know how to use any of this.” 

“That’s cool. I’ll show you.” 

“Um, okay,” you nibble your lip sheepishly. “I guess...” 

“Did you try the tea? Is it good?” He changes the subject. He does that a lot. Pivots around before you can finish your thoughts. 

“Not yet,” you look down at the bright pink lid, “where did you get this?” 

“Some place called Berry? I don’t know. Everything was bright. You’d hate it,” he laughs again. “Oh,” he snaps his fingers as you blow into the lid cautiously. “Before I forget, I’m having a party. I know it’s not really your thing but it’s ‘my turn’,” he makes quotations with his fingers, “and I don’t really wanna but I also thought I'd invite you in case you wanted to not be there with me, too.” 

Your blink in surprise, “a party?” 

“I know, too much. Well, I didn’t wanna leave you out.” 

“Mmm,” you drone nervously. It is really nice of him to think of you and after everything else, you hate to say no. “No one ever invited me to a party.” 

“No?” His brow furrows, “really?” 

You shake your head, “I’ll come. Yeah. I’ll try. You know, it’s college and ...” you take a sip and clear your throat, “should I bring a dessert?” 

He laughs and gives you a playful grudge, “wow, I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone ask me that except my aunt’s friends. Nope, you can just come as you are. You can always bring some drinks for yourself but I’ll have more than enough to share.” 

“Oh, okay,” you nod. 

“The tea good?” He asks again. 

“Yeah, sweet,” you put the cup down. 

“Awesome!” He grins. “I really didn’t think you’d come. I’m so excited.” 

“Really?” You ask. 

“Well, duh. You’re so fucking cool. Like all my other friends, they try so hard. It’s all ‘let’s go do shots’ or ‘watch me do this dumb shit’. You don’t even try, you’re just you. It’s like people don’t realize they can just be nice and be cool for just that.” 

“I... yeah,” you don’t know what to say.  

It’s like he’s calling you boring but not. You know you are and you don’t mind but you can’t ever remember when you just felt like everyone else. Where you weren’t the odd one out. Despite trying to include you, Peter still manages to push you to the edges. 

You wince as you notice how he stares at you. You fidget and pick at the button on the front of your corduroy skirt. His eyes flick down to the nervous movement. 

“I like that,” he reaches to touch the ridged fabric, “blue. Oh, thick.” 

Your leg twitches in surprise, “uh, yeah... found it at the student thrift shop.” 

“Really?” His fingers brush over the hem and touch your coloured tights. They linger for a moment before he pulls away. “Cute. I’ve never been there.” 

“It’s not bad...” you cross your legs as you knee tingles from his touch. That was strange. 

“Well, anyway,” he waggles his fingers as he turns back to the table, “uh, where was I?” He squints at the screens and taps in the air. He pauses and looks at you. “Here, I’ll show you how it work, alright?”  

He reaches over again and you brace yourself. He grabs the underside of the stool seat and drags you closer. He it so easily, you gasp. He’s a lot stronger than he looks. He slides his hand around so his arm is diagonal around your back. 

“Right, so...” his shoulder presses to you as he points with his other arm, “you can just use your finger. I’ll have to add your prints to the program. Put your hands up.” 

You obey as he stays close. You’re overly away of it. The way he’s pressed to you. He doesn’t seem to notice at all. You try not to think of it and focus on his instructions. The project. That’s why you’re here. 

[sm-writes-chaos]

my ocs really are just facets of myself holy ezerk

[heartbreakprincewille]

Something which caught my attention during my rewatch was this line said by Sara in S2 E4:

She didn't had to bring Wilhelm and Simon in this conversation at all, but she did anyways. Like, it made me think, what if Sara treated Wilhelm and Simon's relationship as a blueprint in approaching August?

Because, as Sara says, she literally saw Wilhelm and Simon's relationship unfold in S1. She was probably the first person to notice them and one of the few people who actually knew how their relationship was (topped by maybe Felice in S2):

And Sara has a tendency of subconsciously copying people and their behaviors, the biggest example is Felice. She tries to dress up like Felice, wears Felice's clips in the exact same way she does, and even becomes a boarder to experience Felice's life. It's not supposed to be malicious or even intentional, it's just something that she craves and tries to replicate subconsciously to fulfill her desires of a upper-class life.

And when August kissed her at the stables in S1 E4, it set the gears in motion in her head. She never would have thought of pursuing August if he hadn't made the first move. For him, it was just a (petty and totally uncalled for) way to get back at Felice, but for Sara, it opened up a new desire, a new possibility in her: to date someone from the upper class. In her head, it's what Felice did, it's what Simon did(although I think she knows that Wilhelm's status doesn't matter to Simon at all).

And it also reminds of a subconscious but competitive sibling behavior of wanting something the other sibling has/had. Maybe you don't even want it or need it in reality, but it won't be a reach if Sara had this thinking of, "Well, Simon got to date someone from the upper class even though he hates them, so why can't I?", which again, doesn't actually have anything to do with Simon himself but it's more like Sara latching onto and projecting her own desires on a person who showed some interest in her, no matter how much far fetched or shallow it was(at least according to her). And in the beginning it was just an attempt to see how dating someone feels like and that too someone from the high society, but then she seriously fell for August.

[absolutelyzoned]

anyone else have this problem where its so hard to get attached to people and you feel like everyone is actually lying about liking you or just doesnt care . like,. i dont know how to explain it without sounding like a dick but i just. cant make myself like people

[pinkmirth]

i dunno if y’all get what i mean when i say this, but reiner looks like his name would start with a ‘g’ . . .

[toomanywordsnllines]

Yesterday I posted banter. Today I post sad. Yepie!

I’m mixing a little of the stuff that happened in the ‘09 game here cus god i love to suffer. They didn’t die in that mission (and of course it wasn’t sheperd) and this is what happens after Ghost finally wakes up, *does a little bow*

Enjoy

The door slides with a bang.

Brown eyes look up at him startled, probably because of the bang, maybe because of the blood going down his arms from where he tore away the drip, perhaps because he looks like a corpse himself. His eyes are foggy with medication, tired. Alive. He 's alive. Alive. alive alivealive– 

Captain Price had gotten up with his brusque entrance, he doesn’t care about what he has to say, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to hear him and whatever stupid shit he has to say. Right now he doesn’t care about anything, because Simon is alive and awake. He’s so relieved, he’s so– so…

So… angry.

He’s alive but so is the fury eating Gary away from the inside out.

He stalks closer to the bed, legs cooperative, shakes contained for now–

[His heart’s racing] Simon watches with wide eyes as Gary comes closer to the bed, the relief that floods his insides at seeing him alive almost makes him dizzy. [His heart races]. If he wasn't already laying down he thinks he might’ve passed out there and then. But–

There’s also something churning in his stomach. Heavy. He can’t put a word to it. It makes him feel sick. The expression on Gary’s face makes him feel sick. There’s apprehension in his veins as he finally reaches the bed [His heart doesn’t stop].

He doesn’t know why.

“What were you thinking?” Roach spits out, venom dripping out of his tongue, heavy and acidic, with no restrain. Price’s eyes widen from the corner of his vision. Surprised that he was able to speak after the two week long silence. After a week of a catatonic silence. After not moving, not eating, thinking. He speaks steady, contained, heart hammering down on his bruised ribs.

Simon looks at him, brow furrowed in confusion.

He looks up at Gary.

‘What was he thinking?’ of the mission, of course.

He wonders if Roach might’ve suffered a concussion of shorts. He was there. He knew what he did and why he did it. They had a task to complete and he completed it. They signed for this. What if he almost died? He also almost died! But that’s what they're there for. To complete the task or die trying their damn best. He knows that. Roach know that.

He tells Roach as much

“I was thinking of the mission, and how it had to be completed.”

He sees Roach’s jaw tighten, there’s fury, actually fury burning in his expression. To the point where Ghost sees him shake with it.

He doesn’t understand…

“You almost died.” Gary says through gritted teeth and his voice cracks at the last word.

Why is his voice cracking

“It’s the job Roach! I had to take you to safety, you needed help! What does it matter if I die, anyway!? The mission–”

One moment he’s looking at Roach

The next his face is staring at the window to his right, cheek stinging painfully.

The sound reverberates between the four silent walls like a clap of thunder. It makes his ears hurt.

He hears Price do some aborted choked sound before–

“WHAT ABOUT ME!?”

Simon looks slowly back at him, he’s not ready to see tears, the same way he wasn’t ready for the outburst or the slap, for Gary screaming, for his voice to crack–

“DID YOU THINK ABOUT ME– HOW I WOULD– IF YOU?! DO YOU TH– THINK SIMON?! DO YOU THINK ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF?! HOW COULD– HOW WOULD I–”

There’s a weird type of ringing to his ears, not the type you get after a bomb goes out or how when the blood flows through the brain painfully quickly, not this feels like…

He thinks he might go insane because–

It feels like a breath of fresh air.

Realization.

As Gary dissolves himself into tears, hyperventilating his breaths and screaming his voice raw. Simon realizes something.

As Gary breakdowns in front of him he realizes he feels– feels

And he feels horrible.

He feels loved.

He cares. He loves– He loves him. Him– Simon Riley. 

Ghost almost left him because he couldn’t see that. No. He saw it and he ignored it because no one can love Simon Riley. He…He doesn’t exist anymore he’s not worth tears no one ever cried for him no one ever mourned him no one ever cared he’s not worth being cared for he has nothing to give back– He saw Gary and he ignored him, brushed him away, put him to the side, pushed him under the rug because– he thought–

He watches as Gary presses his hands against the side of his face, like a child. He did that.

His hands twist in the blankets because he feels lost.

He did this but he doesn’t know how to fix it.

Guilt burns his throat.

It burns fiercely until he reaches out, hand grasping a stained jumper.

He pulls him gently towards himself. Tugs him to come closer, please. Gary shakes his head. He tugs him again. He falls into his arms like he belongs there. He sprawls on top of him, legs hanging over the bed and sits on the mattress like he belongs there.

Simon wraps his arms around him, cradles his head to his shoulder, pulls him closer by the waist and hugs him. He hasn’t hugged someone in so long.

But he fits like he belongs there.

“Please, don’t cry.” His voice cracks and it’s awful. It’s awful the stinging in his eyes and the guilt on his stomach, “don’t cry.” Please.

His mind sticks to a loop of saying it over and over and over, over again until Gary hugs him back, until his arms sneak around him and squeeze. Hold him tighter and closer. Sobs louder, shaking worse. But…

He’s there, Simon realizes, he’s there and he could’ve almost lost him. Could’ve almost left alone. alone.

The tears roll down easily, they burn, they hurt.

He’s so sorry

“‘m sorry,” he says to Gary’s hair and then he repeats it again, again, again and again. And he’ll repeat them until he can’t anymore–

He almost lost him.

And since I’m not THAT mean have a little bonus of what comes after all...this mess xoxo

Roach is sitting on the mattress. Legs swinging back and forth as he watches the window. The hospital lights don’t really help with his appearance. Accentuating every bandage and crease showing just how exhausted he looks. He should go back to his room and rest.

Ghost watches him from where he’s propped up on his pillows. As he traces the curve of Roach’s jaw with his eyes his mind plays That day on repeat. They haven’t really talked about it. Roach hasn’t been able to talk after it anyway and his hands shake too much to sign anything correctly. Price says he had a nervous breakdown somewhere between that day and today. He traces a finger gently over Roach’s knuckles.

He watches his shoulders and how they slump with exhaustion but how his neck is filled with tension. He grabs the hand and squeezes.

Per hospital rules, masks aren’t allowed, no balaclava and especially not one with a skull mask sewn to it. He was allowed to wear at least a surgical one. Gary seemingly discarded it. 

When Roach looks at him he can see all his face, it’s set into a neutral one, tired and worn. His eyes are a little blank before he blinks. Ghost squeezes the hand again.

Gary hums and Simon looks at him. Looks at both of his eyes, down the slope of his nose and over the many bandages that litter his face.

He sits up more, ungluing himself from the pillows that are shaped after him, to sit by himself. Gary frowns a little at the movement. Simon doesn’t really regard his expression much, opting to stare down at the hand he still has clasped in his.

He uncurls the fingers with his other, swiping them gently and pressing his thumb on the center of the palm. He smiles as the arm relaxes.

His whole hand circles the wrist keeping it secure.

“Gary.”

He lifts his head as he says it, catching how Gary stares at their point of contact with heavy lidded eyes. He looks almost asleep.

Roach looks up.

And there’s a pause as Simon looks at his eyes again, his mind is made up but he was expecting his heart to race and speed up. It doesn’t. Instead beating comfortably in his chest.

He smiles.

“I love you.”

Roach blinks. Then his eyes widen and Simon feels a little fuzzy at the feeling of his pulse accelerating on the tips of his fingers. 

Roach– Gary knows what he means, that’s why his face falls almost immediately after the surprise. 

His hand tries to sign before he sees it’s shaking too much for that.

Gary takes a deep breath and Simon sees him mouthing his name, before his voices comes out shakly:

“I don’t– I can’t–”

“I know”

He smiles because Gary looks at him. Idiot.

“I don’t care.”

There’s a pause and Simon is ready for rejection. His smile doesn’t waver however, maybe it’s the drugs because he feels like he’s floating. The feeling of speaking out what he’s feeling and putting it out there, finally after so long... couldn’t really break with a ‘no’. He’s fine with rejection; he just wanted Gary to know.

Tears slip past Roach’s eyes, that makes him panic.

He cups the side of his face and swipes the tears with his thumb, using his bent index finger to swipe more of them when they come out in reverence. "What 's wrong?”

Gary shakes his head, and anxiety floods Simon, but then he huffs a soft laugh.

“Haven’t heard that in a while.”

His voice is sticky with emotion. That won’t do Simon thinks so he pulls his mask down and cups both sides of his face pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Roach slips down and presses closer to his chest, he presses his chin on top of his head and leans back.

He’s starting to comb his fingers through his hair when he feels a finger gliding through his collarbone.

‘Love you too.’ Puts my hands in my hips: MAN THAT’S A LOT OF WORDS [writes more]

they...make me feel...so much I could (and have) cry for them. They just mean so much to me eueueueeueu. This is me trying to explain -- as I put in my notes: “This about what made Ghost finally let Roach in. How it happened. And when he finally realized his feelings.” -- their relationship is kinda hard to put into words cus I see it as somthing more complex than friend and lover so here! They’re partners.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

i'm all ears for the book idea homie

You would not believe the confusion of this ask because I completely forgot about that post lmao

Anyway, yeah I thought it would be cool if we, as the fnaf community, made our own fnaf short story series for funsies. I was thinking without considering how to do it, so in my head I was saying it would be dope as hell if a bunch of us writers and artists got together and did a little series of spooky horror story fnaf books that followed the same format as the actual books, but with more art stuff for the artists to join in and... better writing in a lot of cases lmao. I was thinking of physical books at the time like how I've seen some some of those big community zines that raise money for charity but I have no idea how to do that so...

Now that it's not stupid in the morning before I've slept, the easiest way to do something like this I guess would to like... make a PDF maybe? Three stories per 'issue' I guess and release it for free of course! (Unless someone knows how to make 'pay what you want' with any money gained going to a good charity? I dunno. This would just make it optionally free) Someone could do epilogues for each one, so one long story over however many we make, which could be fun.

Could put it on a Neocities (which is a free website thingo that's also free to view) or something too. I dunno, it could be fun though! One collaborative project, linking together writers from different corners of the overall fnaf fandom to do what the source material is doing but better... that'd be pretty fucking cool ngl

The overall idea of what's actually getting written and stuff is where I'd pobably lose people though. The idea is basically 'do what the books are trying to do but better', as in... 'expand on the fnaf universe in short, fnaf themed stories' and not 'Blorbo Adventures: The Twink Robots Kiss' kind of stuff. So like... new animatronics, new attractions, new Fazbear themed horrors, people dying or whatever, possessed robots, terrible business decisions, elaborate coverups and... I dunno I've not read that many lmao but you get what I mean. Basically, do what you want, go crazy, just don't write your Canon Blorbos as you normally would if you were posting on Ao3.

I suppose it's like... Fazbear themed original fiction? Kind of? It could include re-imaginings of stuff of course, since that's part of what's in these books to begin with, but I still think it's probably not fan community oriented enough to ever see the light of day, ya know? Would be really fucking cool though!

Could do an interest check on it I suppose? How many people hate the books so much or want to write general spooky stories enough to join a poject like this? I dunno. If this post gets enough traction, I'll do a proper interest check and we'll see about it.

Also if none of this makes sense, you can for sure ask for clarification my brain is... not braining today :(

[orcelito]

Ykno the common critique I've seen around is that trimax fights r hard to follow & such. And I've always had the kind of thought of like "I mean sometimes it can be confusing, but if u stop to study it it's really not that bad"

Having a fight analysis post kinda blow up tho I'm seeing ppl comment over and over in the tags about how hard it is to keep up with the fights... and I'm just like. Is it really that confusing? Like genuinely. I thought it was one of those overblown fan critiques but it seems like a Lot of people agree with it.

[sea-jello]

ive noticed a pattern in the music that repeats in jeremy and christines relationship so heres my analysis

first up, we have the "christine" tune. you know the one im talking about. i think this tune is used to represent the stage of their relationship when their feelings are not mutual. mostly its used whenever they are talking ABOUT her, or jeremys love for her. for example when she appears and jeremy watches from a distance, or when the squip uses her and jeremys crush as leverage, like in upgrade. it’s also used in the play when christine gets squipped, and professes her “love” to jeremy. again, it’s still technically not mutual

then, we have the whole melody with “why am i telling this to you / guess there’s a part of me that wants to / i guess a part of me likes to [whatever]”. now this bit is used to represent when the feeling IS mutual, or when jeremy (and the audience) thinks it’s mutual. it’s in ilpr, a guy that i’d kinda be into, and when christine finally decides to go out with jeremy in voices in my head. in ilpr that line obviously makes us and jeremy believe christine has some sort of attraction or whatever to jeremy and just the SLIGHTEST chance the feelings might be mutual. in guy that i’d kinda be into the verse is again obviously MAJOR hinting at jeremy and us that maybe christine IS talking about jeremy, maybe it IS mutual. and voices in my head is self explanatory. i’m specifically repeating the word mutual just to make it more obvious

also fun little extra in a guy that i’d kinda be into, “she is totally into you” is the same tune as “why am i telling this to you”. the “why am i telling this to you” tune is a sort of god i can’t think of the word rn but like beginning?? hinting?? at the mutual-ness, which could totally tie back to the i guess voices in jeremy’s head telling him “yeah she IS into you, the feeling is mutual” yk what i’m talking about. it’s all a concept in my brain that i can’t articulate roll with it

now case in point, i think the little scene that made me realise and come up with all this bullshit can better represent everything. the scene at the halloween party, a guy that i’d kinda be into reprise. it starts off with the second melody, the mutual melody. “it’s kinda killer to sit and chat with you” and all that of course leads jeremy (and us) to believe christine might reciprocate his feelings, that it might be mutual. and then it shifts into the first melody, the not mutual melody, when jeremy’s gearing himself up to ask her out and christine turns him down because it’s not mutual

[theloveinc]

https://at.tumblr.com/theloveinc/709386875263188992/wncg70pa448c

Hello! I am curious about your tags on this post. How do you personally like characterizing embarrassment with Bakugo?

(link but it's just my prev post!)

hey!! thanks so much for asking :D

don't take my word as law, of course, (in general and) because Bakugo is actually a character who i project A LOT on in terms of like... perfectionism, insecurity, self-doubt and shame (kin moment LMFAO)... so most of my characterization comes from the way eye react to embarrassment, both my own and other's, in situations of all different kinds (like romantic ones, or slapstick ones, etc). it's a feeling that i've literally always hated.

but/so, because i lean more on the Bakugo whose personality (in Cee's words) is insecurity based, i think he tries to avoid embarrassment at ALL costs, because embarrassment = defeat and/or therefore, shame.

in my mind, it's related to his journey of going from overconfident + feeling on top of the world, to... realistic and capable of humility, both in terms of his skills AND personality. even if he's at a point where he can confidently (and aggressively) say he's a good hero/lover/friend/etc... there's still (or, there becomes) this desire in him to avoid the potential failure of being too much or doing too much (aka: acting like the same person he was before and during high school)

so i'd say... i like characterizing Bakugo as being shy and hesitant and careful (in a sense) before he's confident that he has you (or whatever thing) FOREVER. like a built-in safety feature to avoid doing something he'd regret, or become embarrassed by his treatment of others... until he knows for sure he'll get the result he wants. it's part of why i think he's such a hard worker, too :')

(and in a non-romantic context, this might be: not talking about a new move w/ his quirk that he hasn't perfected, or saying he's won XYZ when he hasn't yet.)

there's also the similar depiction of him sort of... leaning into the feelings of embarrassment (defeat) for the end reward... but as someone who has always like. despised that kind of shame and exposure... i just don't really see it being something he likes. but it makes sense too as another result of that journey.

i really, REALLY hope this makes sense!

[myrfing]

and (pointing at nothing) gourd isn’t really HEALTHY about his execution of his purpose either in that he is kind of insane about it. like he completely lacks a sense of self-preservation until after post-shb. he fully considers the possibility he will get blown up and die one million times and inflict terrible violence and just accepts that as almost a matter of fact. i think from a surface level outside view he can very much be taken as someone with an almost unnatural religious fanaticism but at the same time he’s like. not. he doesn’t actually ascribe to a divinity or a belief that he specifically will be rewarded or saved. he doesn’t do it out of need for approval or self hatred or insecurity or to prove his loyalty. he just believes that if he dies something stronger will grow in his place because that’s what he sees in the world all the time. if he believes in a heaven or hell it’s not somewhere else but right here.

his weirdness about it if anything comes from a sense of detachment-but-not-alienation that he found in the wake of the spires dying. the human part is is that this is him making sense of their choice to fight and die even though it hurt him. he WAS for a long time lost and empty in the wake of that decision and this is how he found purpose…it’s just that just because it came from troubled waters doesn’t mean it’s untrue or just a cheap justification. he feels like his place in the world is a given just because he was born, because that’s what he thought of his loved ones. he loves the world and his own existence within it but he loves the world just as much without so he sees no point in being defensive about his life. it’s very much like. a cucumber is a cucumber and it’s still a cucumber if you ate it. this is making even more sense as I keep going on

[the-casbah-way]

ok let me ramble very briefly about how i’d costume pilate and his soldiers in my own production of jcs and more importantly WHY (im drawing the designs rn and i’ll post them when i’m done) SO i really like the idea of a gothic production where all the characters are in mostly black with a lot of leather and chains and tattoos to give it a modern vibe, but i want to mix that with more period typical costuming especially in regards to pilate and the romans. so they would be dressed in ancient roman military gear except it would all be black with studs and chains (and tattoos of roman images and slogans like what they’ve been doing in the newer productions; i’ll get into why that’s important in another post). and the reason for this is because while i do understand why it’s supposed to be staged like it’s happening present day, i think that giving the show heavy ancient roman undertones would really emphasise the narrative of the roman oppression that all the characters are dealing with and therefore help the audience better sympathise with both judas but also caiaphas and the pharisees. i think if we remind the audience that these people are living under such a brutal military regime it will keep them from viewing the priests as two dimensional cliched villains because they absolutely are not; half the point of this story is that everyone is doomed by the narrative and that the antagonists are all acting out of fear because of the regime they’re living under. even pilate is acting out of fear of his emperor back home and i think traditional roman uniforms would really drive that whole idea home and help prevent the shitty trope that so many productions give in to where caiaphas and the pharisees only do what they do out of pure evil rather than. you know. fear of what their violent oppressors will do to them

[neon-danger]

If you could see any scene in your fics play out live which would it be

Yes

[yoichiris]

better than letting go | nagi seishiro x reader

✩ accidental sugar daddy nagi ✩ pro-player!nagi, roommates au, angst to fluff, heavy pining, miscommunication

"just go live with nagi," reo says offhandedly, "if you clean up after him, he'll let you stay there forever."

you open your mouth to refute the suggestion, because reo knows how you feel about nagi, knows you couldn't possibly stay in an enclosed space with him hours on day on end without jumping him... but before you do, nagi himself interrupts.

"i'm okay with that," he replies in his usual laid-back voice.

you glare at him because you think he sounds more excited about the cleaning part.

"you're going to be homeless," reo shrugs, "why not?"

you return your glare at reo, "why can't you just house me in one of your billion-dollar properties."

"then i'd have to ask my old man for permission," he waves you off like the asshole he is, "no thanks."

"what's wrong with living with me?" nagi wonders, and you hate him for acting like he wants to live with you so badly.

"look, just clean nagi's dirty underwear for the next year while you finish your degree and you won't have to worry about a thing," reo explains, as if there aren't other factors like your five-year infatuation with nagi, and maybe the fact that nagi lives like he doesn't know what a vacuum does.

you sigh, thinking about the end of your lease and the astronomical increase in rent incoming, and how much you don't want to work your stupid part-time job, and give in.

of course it's not that bad. all you had to do was keep your feelings to yourself.

"nagi," you hiss, "nagi, wake up, you're going to be late!"

he only stirs, covers tucked under his chin, as if he's hiding from you. you inch the door wider, stepping into his room hesitantly. he doesn't even make a move.

"nagi," you whine, crouching at the side of his bed.

he makes a sound of acknowledgment but keeps his eyes closed, so you sit cross-legged on the floor, watching his sleeping form. he's so cute like this, you think, yearning.

it's been a week since you moved in with nagi. in a lot of ways, he's exactly what you thought he would be like in private: he's rarely home, and when he is, he's quiet.

you thought he would spend more time in his room, under the covers, but you realize quickly he's furnished his couch with the coziest throw and likes to curl under there when he is home.

it makes your heart warm when you come home to see nagi, his toes sticking out from underneath the blanket, waiting for you to eat dinner.

"...what time is it?" you hear him mumble.

your heart skips a beat when he opens his eyes, groggy with sleep, and touches your arm. you sigh shakily.

"too late," you smile softly at him, "i'll prep your pre-workout so you can take it with you, okay?"

"thanks," he tells you, his voice raspy.

he smiles back at you and reaches out, poking you in the forehead. when you feel his fingers touch your skin, you think you'll drop dead right there.

"are you gonna move out after you graduate?" reo asks, nine months into your arrangement.

you've been avoiding even thinking about it. you're busy with graduation, you justify to yourself, you don't have time to look for a new place yet.

"hm?" you hum innocently, "i dunno. haven't had time to think about it."

"nagi asked me 'bout it," he mentions casually, and you freeze. is he counting the days down until you leave?

you and nagi have settled into a daily routine: you wake him up, he goes to practice, you study after class, and when he comes back late at night, he hangs out with you for an hour before he has to sleep. mostly, you and nagi sit on either end of the couch, sharing the cozy throw, and read manga.

it's lulled you into a false sense of security, you think.

"oh," is all you manage to say. maybe he finds you bothersome? maybe he wants his own space back?

reo hits you over the head, lightly. "what's that face for? it's been going good living with nagi, right?"

and it was. it was everything you had dreamed of, and it shocked you how well you got along with nagi. you think of how, in early mornings when both of you (mostly you) are rushing out the door, bumping hips in the kitchen, even then it seems like you were working together.

"yep," you reply, sipping your iced coffee, "too good."

reo takes a bite of his food, and suggests, "maybe you two should just keep living together. you can split rent or something."

"can't rely on nagi forever," you protest.

"why not?" he says, just like he did when he had first suggested this whole thing, "isn't that what you want?"

you kick him under the table, angry that he was bringing your feelings up now. yes, you want to scream, it is. but nothing has changed between you and nagi, nothing at all.

you're always trying to keep your feelings in check: when he peers over your shoulder as you're cooking, the warmth of his body hot asgainst yours. or how adorable he looks when he comes out of the shower, his shaggy hair falling over his eyes, his face shiny. those are the times your feelings want to burst.

"just talk to nagi about it," reo nudges. you're not sure if he's talking about the housing or the feelings.

you're curled up with nagi on the couch when you muster the courage to say anything. your legs are touching his under the blanket, and you feel as if that might connect you to him.

there's a month left until you graduate, which is absolutely not enough time for you to find a place to live, but you were scared. you hear the victory sounds of nagi's mobile game, so you decide now's better than never.

"so," you start, and his gaze drifts over to you, "i haven't really found a new place to live yet."

it's quiet. "s'okay," nagi mumbles, not even looking up from his phone, "you can move out whenever."

well, at least that answers your question on whether or not he wants you to move out. at least he wasn't pushing you out the door, you tell yourself.

you don't know what else to say. do you want me to leave so badly? you want to ask. can't i stay with you? you think, desperate. but those words don't leave your mouth.

"are you coming to my graduation?" you ask lightly, and regret it when you realize that you've opened yourself up again.

he shrugs. "dunno my prac schedule yet, but reo's going right?" he replies, as if reo could replace him.

you feel cold despite the blanket, and sink deeper into the couch, feeling drained. from the corner of your eye, you see nagi tapping away at his phone, signaling to you that he's still deep in his game. you take your legs away, knowing he wouldn't even notice.

"yep," you say and awkwardly crawl out of your warm spot on the couch. "i'm gonna go to bed first, nagi."

"g'night," he replies, finally looking up as you pass him with your head bowed. he watches you walk back to your room, and doesn't take his eyes off of you until you close the door behind you.

you eventually begged reo to find you an empty unit in one of his father's rental properties.

he had been insistent you just talk to nagi, as if he knew something you didn't, but you had to explain that you did, and nagi had no objections to you moving out, and you weren't going to wait until he shoved you out the door to move on.

it has been so awkward since that small conversation you'd had with nagi. maybe it was you, feeling out of place, like you had reached a point of no return.

waking him up in the mornings were now rushed, gently pushing him awake and scurrying off before he was fully awake. leaving his pre-workout on the counter instead of handing it to him. sitting at the kitchen table under the guise of studying instead of curling up on the couch with him.

it's not that he'd changed, you knew, it's that you couldn't keep playing pretend with your feelings anymore.

you hear the front door click as nagi walks into the apartment.

"hey," he says, pushing open the door to your room, "i'm home."

you turn from your position at the front of your closet, where you were just about to take out your suitcase. "oh, hey," you reply lamely, "welcome home."

he hovers, something he's never really done, as if he knows you have something to say, as if he had something to say. the words were stuck in your throat.

"reo told me you're moving out," nagi finally tells you.

traitor, you curse at reo. "uh, yeah," you smile tightly, "i didn't want to keep bothering you, so..."

"you're not bothering me," he replies, maybe a little too quickly, but you don't notice.

there's another silence. what else can you say?

"you don't have to leave," nagi continues, "i don't mind if you stay here."

but do you want me to stay? you want to ask. the way he says it so casually, as if it didn't matter whether you stayed or not, only solidified your decision to be away from him. at least then you could just be his friend without delusions of sharing a life with him so intimately.

"nah," you try to keep your voice steady, "it's probably better this way."

"i like living with you, though," nagi shuffles his hair uncomfortably as he says it.

you laugh, maybe a little bitterly, "because i cook and clean for you?"

"no," he says quickly, looking flustered, "no, i just like it when you're here."

but why? you want to scream. your heart pounds, because you feel like you're close to something, but at the same time it feels so far. sometimes you're convinced that he knows about your feelings, that sometimes you two are talking about them even though the topic is unrelated.

"it was nice," you settle on saying, as if it wasn't life changing, "but i can afford living on my own now."

"i don't want you to leave," nagi almost sounds like he's whining, and your heart skips another beat.

"why not?" you say, frustrated, breathless, "we can't just keep living together forever."

"what if i want to?" he says, and you feel like the conversation has become out of control.

your mind is racing. what is happening right now, you try to breathe through your nose. what is he talking about right now, you try to ask yourself.

"nagi—" you stop yourself, trying to get a grip, "what are you saying?"

you're looking at him now and you're surprised by the determination in his eyes. it's what he looks like when he's really focused, like he is when he plays soccer.

"i want to live with you forever," he declares, sounding defiant, as if that wasn't what you wanted.

but you're not sure what it means. you only know that five years is a long time to be holding onto your feelings.

"i don't understand," you mumble, staring at the floor, quieter than before, "i love you, nagi. not as a friend. so no, i can't just live with you forever."

you feel him before you see him, his body towering over you. when you look up, he's pouting. he puts his hand on top of your head, gentle, warm.

"why do you look so sad," he wonders, as if he hadn't heard what you just said, "that's why i want to live with you forever, dummy."

you wake up to nagi wrapped around you.

"sei," you groan, turning in his arms to look at his sleeping face, "you're heavy."

he mutters, groggy, incoherent, and you can't help but press a kiss to his nose. his hair is falling all over his face, but your eyes memorize every slope. he squeezes you harder.

"why are you awake so early," he mutters, nudging your chest with his head, "it's my day off."

you soothe your hand down his bare back, feeling the tight muscles underneath your fingers. he works so hard, and his days off are so rare. you wiggle some more, to loosen his arms.

"i know," you smile, "but let me go make breakfast, kay? i'm hungry."

he shakes his head and whines. "no," he refuses, "just go back to sleep."

you relax, unable to tell him no. mornings with nagi often go like this, except that you usually have enough self-control to get him up. but sometimes, you remember what it was like wanting him so bad, that now you remind yourself to enjoy it.

as a partner, nagi is clingy, vulnerable. but he's also determined, and sometimes, the intensity with which he wants you catches you off guard.

"y/n," he calls, his breath hot against your neck, "i'm happy you're here."

you close your eyes, nodding. "me, too."

[eyeritestuff]

Billy Kid x Reader Headcanons ☆

—X—

A/N: super into ZZZ right now (and billy.)

CW: nothing, maybe a few suggestive jokes but everything is generally SFW :3 i’m super sleepy and writing this at 1am so bare with me when it comes to spelling and grammar :’)

Reader: Gender Neutral [they/them]

—X—

Billy takes a lot of selfies, especially when on missions, and sends them to you. You don’t know what made him start doing this, but you save each and every one of them and you make sure to drop whatever you’re doing to ask him about it.

Billy is on the spectrum. Don’t ask me the logistics of it, yes he’s sophisticated AI, but hear me out! Though you like to indulge in some childhood nostalgia, you aren’t particularly fixated on watching just one media from your childhood. However, one of the medias you watched back in the day is called Starlight Knight. As soon as you told him you enjoyed that show, he would come to you to talk about it. It wasn’t all the time, of course, but whenever conservation went dry (in person or via DMs), he’d make it a thing to talk to you about it for hours. It didn’t annoy you, not in the slightest. It made you happy to see him so happy about the children’s show, and so you entertained it as much as you could.

When Billy texts, he uses old fashioned emoticons as punctuation. Think ‘ :3 , ^_^ , o_O ’ and then replace it everywhere a period, an exclamation point, or a question mark would be. So many emoticons…

Billy loves to play video games, especially at the arcade. He invites you, and usually you tag along. When you can’t, he sends a selfie of him making a sad face. He’d probably captions it something like ‘Missing my pookie.. 💔💔’

On that same note, Billy will pick up on vocabulary you use and steal it. So if you have a habit of saying ‘pookie’ ? That’s his now. He’s using it all the time.

Billy panics easy when it comes to you. not only when it comes to safety, but also when it comes to romantic scenarios. During times you hang out with Anby and Nicole, they spill all the details of how Billy went on a rampage to find the perfect flowers, or how Billy sat in a corner all morning whining about how he didn’t find the right color outfit for you. Things along those lines!

Sortve related, but Billy gets flustered easily. Especially when you make dirty jokes, most of which aren’t really directed at him. He doesn’t get the jokes at first, but when he does understand them, he reacts in such an over the top and dramatic manner. Flailing around, gasping really loud, whining, yknow the works! One time you made a joke about ‘whimpering audios’ and he didn’t understand it. For a while too! Once he asked enough people (Anby explained it to him), he went silent and locked himself in his room for a considerable amount of time. He wasn’t sad or anything, just… shocked.

Billy isn’t human, so he doesn’t necessarily get injured in the traditional sense. One time he came back from a commission with his arm all battered up. You never seen him so down in spirits! You were able to help him, luckily, because it was only one part on his arm that was damaged that really messed up the rest of it. You kissed his hand, and immediately after inspecting your handiwork, he stuck his hand out again. “I dunno.. my arm still feels wonky. How about another kiss for good measure?”

When you’re bored, you love to dress up as Billy. Well, you’re not really dressing like him, you’re just wearing his jacket. You also like to wear the jacket with certain outfits you think it would look best with. Since your boyfriend is so tall and broad in the arms, you mostly wore it as a shoulder drape in an odd anime fashion statement. Regardless, Billy loved to see you wear it.

Earlier I mentioned Billy loves to take selfies, but I forgot to mention how most of them include you, and despite having all of those selfies of himself, half of his camera roll is you. He likes to sneak pictures of you sometimes! It’s one of his more odder behaviors, but he takes such cinematic pictures of you, even when you’re wearing the worst outfits. You didn’t know how he did it, but it’s one of the things that made the random picture taking somewhat okay.

Billy loves hugs. Don’t ask me how it works in terms of comfort. I would assume it’s the equivalent of sleeping in a car. However, Billy does have plenty of plushies thanks to you, and you use those to your advantage… so it’s not all bad :)

You asked Billy to teach you how to sling guns, and the entire tutorial sesh was just him feeling every inch of your body, memorizing and admiring how you looked. He loved you. All of you! He thought he was being sneaky, but you knew (and secretly loved it too).

Billy loves to carry you on his back and walk around. All I’m saying is, he’s got handlebars on that jacket for a reason… this has to be one of them……

Billy loves stickers. Self Explanatory!

Billy loves giving you gifts. He puts your needs over his more than he should, but luckily you’re not in this relationship to take advantage of his immaturity and inexperience. You give back as much as you can.

Billy is clingy. Needed to type it out despite it being loud as hell in this list.

Billy cant cook. Not like he needs to anyways, but he wants to learn for you! So when you’re cooking, he watches close behind you and asks you every question he can think of.

Billy likes to ask why… a lot. It gets frustrating sometimes, but he genuinely wants to learn.

—X—

A/N: thx for reading! idk might make a part 2 i’m gonna go fall asleep now :3

[spicy-apple-pie]

I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE COMIC >:))))))

I did warn you…

Okay so idk if a lot of people know this, but Damian was originally given up for adoption right after he was born before his story was reconned.

So in this comic, Damian is 9 years old and in the foster system in Gotham, unknowing who his parents are. He’s never stays long in a home because he’s very aggressive. He’s smart though, so he orders a DNA testing kit to hopefully find a relative to take him. Imagine his shock when he finds out his father is Bruce Wayne.

So this 9 year old walks into WE by himself, toddles up to the secretary, and asks to see Bruce Wayne. The secretary is like “haha okay, let me help you find your parents.” And Damian is like “you can. My dad is Bruce Wayne.”

And then Tim shows up!! And he’s like, “who’s your dad?”

And Damian is suddenly really nervous and shyly passes Tim the DNA test results. Tim looks them over, and Damian thinks he’s going to get turned away. But then Tim smiles at him and asks him if he has time for a drink.

Damian basically explains his life story over a cup of hot chocolate to Tim. Tim listens and tells him that he’ll make sure Bruce sees it and gives him his number if he has any questions (Damian doesn’t have a phone). Damian gets up to throw out his cup but Tim is like “oh I can throw that out for you. Talk to you soon!”

Cut to the BatCave where Bruce is staring at the DNA test results. Showing him and Talia as the parents. Tim stands behind him. “I doubled and tripled checked.” He says. “Not to mention he’s the spitting image of you.” He mumbles under his breath, knowing that Bruce isn’t in the mood for jokes right now. Alfred places some Tylenol beside Bruce using his butler powers to sense his on coming headache.

“And you said he walked into the lobby by self?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah, he said he took the bus.”

“Oh dear,” Alfred comments, “that is certainly not safe for a boy his age in Gotham. I wonder if his social worker knows about that…”

So the next morning, Damian finds that he’s out of custody from his foster parents. And he’s like “but I didn’t do anything this time!” And his social workers like “no, they’re getting charged with child endangerment. We already have a place lined up for you.”

Lo and behold, his new foster home is Wayne Manor. And he meets Bruce for the first time and he’s really nervous. And Bruce has to turn away because he almost starts crying. And Damian asks Alfred if he did something wrong and Alfred’s like “no, he’s just very happy to see you.”

And that’s basically it. But I also have this idea of how he discovers his Dad is Batman.

He comes downstairs in the early morning for a snack before going back to sleep to find Red Hood raiding their fridge. He runs to Bruce and he’s freaking because fucking RED HOOD broke into their house.

And Bruce groans and is mildly annoyed about and Damian is like “???? Does this happen often????” Bruce brings him downstairs and Red Hood is still there, but making a grilled cheese with his helmet off.

“Jay, how many times do we need to tell you know masks in the house?”

“I dunno. How many fucking children are you going to adopt?” He gestures to Damian hiding behind Bruce.

“He doesn’t know yet, Jay. I was going to wait until he was more comfortable.”

Jason is a little sheepish because he did give the kid a bit of a fright, so he turns around to apologize and introduce himself. And instantly is like “holy shit, that’s a bio kid.”

“Language, Jay…”

“Don’t language me, where the fuck did he come from???”

“What is happening??!!” Damian finally yells.

And then Bruce shows him the BatCave.

I did warn you I’d talk your ear off. I came up with this circa. 2018 - 2019 but I feel like I finally have the skill to draw it. And I honestly fell in love with it again, so I might lol.

Edit: I did it