#I feel so ugly!!! I want to be fixed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Hello :D

I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!

I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,

Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!

hello. oh my god. this took forever to find. im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is

my fall 2024 rendering tutorial! (this will be very very long)

FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering

i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush

FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!

my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals. it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.

one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.

contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔

okay so basically: contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.

shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark. BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.

it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself

YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense

so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing

adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky

the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer

around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol

adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol

i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.

i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)

i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol

make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you

this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead

i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.

the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer! the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol

if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only), i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps. there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.

personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me

then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)

as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)

i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way. you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!

along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes. don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!

now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is

THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared. like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different. on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.

don't be afraid to paint over your old art. rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless. find your balance and just go for it.

and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)

if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment. particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them) but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.

rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.

it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker. it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!

i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)

have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!

[luna-azzurra]

Do you have any tips for writing a character who hates their appearance? Like say this character has the ability to look like a normal human but their non-human form is quote on quote "ugly/hideous" (The creature's related to the character have the same issue/The self-hatred is taught by the elders and/or parents from the society the creature belongs to.)

"Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show" kind of thing. And the parents/elders aren't mean about it, they just know their real appearance isn't appealing.

Human appearance = Confidence, more self-acceptance, more self-love, etc.

Your character could feel stuck between these two identities, on one side, they’ve got their non-human form that’s been labeled as “ugly” or “hideous,” and on the other side, they have their human form, which is praised and makes them feel confident, even if it’s not their real self. It’s like a mask they wear to feel better about themselves, but deep down, there’s still this lingering feeling of “I’m not good enough as I am.”

You can show how this affects their self-esteem and mental state. Every time they look human, they feel a little bit stronger, a little more accepted, but it’s not really them. Maybe they start to rely on the human form so much that they feel lost without it, like they don’t know how to be themselves anymore. That confidence they get when they look human? It’s a bit fake, like wearing an outfit that makes you feel good for a while, but you know once you take it off, all the insecurities come rushing back.

They want to accept their real form, but every time they look at themselves, all they can hear are the voices from their parents and society telling them they’re not good enough, that they need to hide this part of themselves. You can show moments where they’re afraid to let anyone see their true form, even people they care about. They fear rejection, judgment, or that people will think they’re as hideous as they’ve been told their whole life. But, over time, maybe they start to question these ideas. Maybe someone in their life (a friend, a love interest, or even themselves) shows them that their real form isn’t as bad as they’ve been taught to believe. You could even explore little moments where they realize they don’t hate certain parts of their non-human self as much as they thought they did. It’s a slow, difficult process of learning to accept themselves, and it won’t be a quick fix. They might still struggle with the urge to hide behind their human form, but eventually, they start to see that their real self isn’t something they need to conceal or be ashamed of.

Example / The Mirror Scene

The bathroom mirror was fogged up from the hot water, but they could still see the outline of their face. Human face. The one that made them feel like they belonged. A quick wipe of the glass revealed familiar features: smooth skin, symmetrical eyes, a nose that didn’t make anyone flinch. A face they didn’t have to hide.

For a second, they almost smiled. Almost. This face was easier, so much easier, than the real one. The one they kept buried beneath layers of “normal.” With a shaky breath, they glanced at the door, locked, thankfully. No one could see them here. It was safe. It was just them and the mirror. But safety wasn’t comfort, not when the thing they feared most was their own reflection.

The familiar sensation of their skin shifting began, like a wave of pins and needles. Slowly, painfully, the human features faded, replaced by the reality underneath. Their jawline thickened, rough, uneven skin stretching across sharp ridges. The soft eyes they’d once admired in the mirror were now wide and strange, glowing faintly in the dim light.

They hated it. They hated that every time they looked like this, all they could hear was their mom’s voice, calm but full of pity. “You’ll feel better if you just stay in human form. It’s easier.”

Easier. Sure. Except it wasn’t them.

They leaned closer to the mirror, inspecting their real face. “Hideous,” they whispered, like they could get ahead of the insult before someone else could throw it at them. The word hung in the air, suffocating, familiar. They’d heard it a thousand times, from elders, parents, even their friends when they didn’t think anyone was listening.

[prettypinkporkchop]

Love u hunny❤️ love reading ur stories can I request one where Paul was ur bully in high school and u haven’t seen him since graduation where he made u cry then u see him at the grocery store and try to avoid him but he sees u and when u make eye contact he starts following u everywhere but of course u don’t forgive him to easy u make him work for it until he’s begging on his knees for u

I LOVE YOU TOO BABES! I GOTCHU!

Flashback:

You sit outside at the Cullen's house. Your party dress is soaked with beer because Paul poured it on you. You are crying, waiting for your parent to pick you up.

Paul tried to flirt with you, but to him, you turned out to be a prude. Now, he hates you. Your outfits are ugly. You're ugly, at least that's what he says.

His favorite things to do are taunt you. Fake flirt with you and laugh with his friends. He bumps into you and makes you fall on the floor.

One time, he bought you a drink from the vending machine, but he put mentos in it, so it exploded in your face.

Now:

You're holding the basket, looking at meats to cook. You feel eyes on the back of your head. It confuses you, so you turn and make eye contact with Paul Lahote.

Your heart speeds up, and you hold your breath. You quickly turn away and drop your basket. You're not even worried about anything else but leaving.

You run out, turning back to see Paul walking quickly. You speed up and get inside your car. You look back to see he stopped and is watching you.

--------

You open your door and slam it shut. You slide down, breathing really hard in panic. You start sobbing.

You thought moving further away from Forks would save you. You were so wrong.

You hear a knock on your door. You jump up up and answer the door.

Paul.

Paul.

Paul.

"I'm sorry. For everything." He says. You slam the door in his face.

You back away slowly. But you can hear him behind the door. "I need to talk to you. This is important." He says.

You ignore him completely. You walk away from your door and take a deep breath in and out. Suddenly, you feel the urge to actually let him speak. But, you're scared. But you two aren't teens anymore. Come on. Suck it up.

You step to the door and open it. Paul's face lights up. God, he looks so different. His hair is cut, and he's so... big.

"What do you have to say?" You lean on the door.

He looks over every detail of your face in awe of you. He coughs slightly and then shifts his feet. "I just want to say I regret the things I've said and done to you. They aren't right at all. I've changed, and I was really hoping I could make it up to you." He doesn't lose eye contact.

Your hands start to sweat. Is he for real right now? You have to gather all of the words you want to say. It takes a few minutes of staring at his face before it comes to you. "Paul, look. I appreciate whatever you're trying to do here, but you've hurt me. You've hurt me a lot. I still to this day feel like I'm nothing. And it's solely on you." You were surprised by how you stood up. You seemed so confident, but deep down, you wanted to curl in a ball and hide.

You notice a change in his face. He looks genuinely upset and guilty. His wipes over his face, and then his fingers hold his chin before falling next to his side. "I understand. I know. I'll do whatever I can to fix this." He says.

"Why do you want to? Why are you here?" You ask with attitude.

"Because, seeing you again, I realized something. I don't want you to hurt. You're not supposed to hurt around me or because of me."

You are confused as hell and don't understand what he means by that. He notices your confusion and then reaches out his hand for you to shake.

"I will tell you everything you need to know. But can you please give me a chance to start over with you." He begs.

You stare at his hand. He's so attractive. The way his veins and muscles look. Damn it, Lahote! Why now?

You shake your head and back away. "No. Not now." You shut the door.

You walk into your room and lay in your bed.

The next day, you wake up and check your phone. You have a message from an unsaved number.

Number: ayo, it's Quil. Remember me? Haha. Well, I was just wondering if this is still your number from school. If it is, hello! Can we talk about something?

Quil Ateara?! What?!

You haven't changed your number in years. This is a weird surprise. Quil was a good friend of yours. Along with Jacob, Embry, and Bella. You haven't spoken to any of them in YEARS.

You: Hey! Long time, friend. It's still me. What's up?

Quil: awesome! Well first off, how ya been?

You: I've been good. Moved out of the house when I turned 19. I have a good job. Life is peaceful. How are you?

Quil: well, a lot has changed. A looottttt. But it's okay! I heard you ran into Paul.

You: how do you know?

Quil: he told me. We are good friends now. Trust me, he's not the same guy he was back in school.

You: it was good talking to you. Lmk if you need anything.

You left it at that. What the hell?

You get out of bed and get ready for the day. You sit on your computer, doing check-ins for your job.

Your phone rings so you answer it. "Yup?" You ask.

"Hey, can you come into the office today? I have a side quest for you." Your coworker giggles. Oh gosh, Jessica. What does she need now?

"Well, I was supposed to work at home today. What do you need?" You ask.

"Girl, our boss is so flirting with me. I need backup. Should I ask him out?" She whispers.

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. "Jess, he's like 50. And that's not even allowed!" You laugh.

"Please come in!" She begs.

The drama would be fucking hilarious to see. "Fine." You say.

You head out of the house and go to the office. You park in your usual parking spot. A truck you've never seen before pulls up next to you. You squint to see who it is. They get out of the truck and it's fucking PAUL.

"Paul, what are you doing here?" You sigh in annoyance.

"I just wanted to give this to you." He says, walking around the car to you. It's your favorite flower. Did he remember your presentation in biology?

"Oh, thank you. I've got to go inside." You take it from him and turn around to walk inside. You're smiling, enjoying the attention Paul is giving you.

He's always been attractive to you, but now, it's extra. You can tell he has changed. But, you're not ready to get over the past yet.

You go inside and head to Jessica's station. She's not there. You look over to see everyone huddled over at the boss' door, listening.

Oh yeah, she got fired.

----

You get home from the store and notice a note on your door. You grab it and read it.

"Y/n, I think you're a wonderful person. I'm sorry and I'll say it forever."

The note actually made your heart soften for him. But, you can't give in.

----

You're at work, typing away. It's been a terrible day. Since Jessica got fired, all of her jobs have been put on you. Things are piling up.

There's a knock on your station wall. You look up and see a coworker. "Jesus, you scared me." You sigh.

"Sorry! Someone sent you something." He places it on your desk.

It's a black box. You slowly open it. Inside is a handmade bracelet. It's so pretty. Then, there's a note.

"I'm sorry."

---

You get home and see that familiar truck pull in behind you. Paul quickly gets out and walks over to you.

"What now?" You ask. You notice he is shirtless. His abs are crazy and he has a tattoo on his shoulder.

"Look, i.. I need to tell you something." He seems scared.

You decide to let him speak.

"I actually don't want you to think I'm crazy. Do you want to come to a bonfire with me tonight?" He asks.

"Not really." You scoff.

"It's just me and the guys. It's at the rez. We just talk over the tribes legends. This is very important." He urges.

"Fine. But no funny business." You say sternly.

"Yes, ma'am. I promise." He says genuinely. "I'll pick you up in an hour or so whenever you're ready." He goes to walk to his truck.

"Hey, no. That's too much driving. Just come inside and wait for me to get ready." You say.

He stops and looks at you with surprise. He follows you inside and looks around the house. You point to the couch and then go into your room. You leave him alone in there while you get ready.

You step out and see him sitting on the couch, thinking. "Ready." You say.

He jumps out of his thoughts and smiles up at you. "You look stunning." He gushes.

You can't help but blush and look away. "Thanks. Can we go?"

-----

You sit at the fire listening to Billy Black talk. Paul has been following you around the place. Every step you take, he's right behind you. But you've met some awesome people! Plus, you rekindled with Jacob, Embry, and Quil.

"The wolf in us can sense what humans can't. We must be ready for what is to come. It doesn't stop here. The quiet is only for a moment. Hold onto your imprints, your family, and friends. We don't know what could happen." Billy warns.

You turn to look at Paul. You're so confused. HUH!

After that, you sit in Paul's truck, waiting for him to take you back home. He finally gets in the drivers seat and sighs. "It's all true." He said.

"What, you're a wolf? You cut your hair, got buff, and got a tattoo just like your friends?" You scoff.

"It's serious. Vampires and shifters are real. And you're my imprint." He looks at you.

Your chest is starting to hurt. What have you gotten yourself into?

You're staring at his beautiful face. You're just falling in love. You have to stay strong. "Take me home, please." You say.

You open the door, slam it shut, and head to your house. Meanwhile, behind you, there's a begging, Paul. "Please don't leave me like this. I'll do anything for you. You are my world. I want to show you that." He calls out.

You stop in your tracks and turn to him. Before you can speak, he falls to his knees. "Y/n, let me love you." You can see a tear shed.

A switch flips in you. "Paul, can you show me?"

He looks up at you. "My.. wolf?"

You nod your head in response. He reaches out his hand for you to grab. You hesitate, but slip your fingers under his thumb. His big and warm hands fill you up with butterflies. You can't help but stare at how your hand fits in his.

But he starts walking, bringing you to the backyard of your house. He stops and backs away from you. "Stay right there. Don't get too close. I'm going to take off some of my clothes. You can turn around or close your eyes."

You turn your heels and face the other way, looking at the trees. You hear cracking and growling. You turn around. On the ground is a pile of clothes and shoes. In front of you stands a dark gray wolf. It is huge! You look into the brown eyes, and instantly, you feel Paul. The wolf whimpers and lowers its head.

After that ordeal, you're sitting on your couch, listening to Paul explain everything. You watch as his lips move. You just want to kiss him now.

You're zoned out. You lean in, interrupting him, and kiss him. He's in shock but grabs the back of your head and kisses you back. God his lips. They're moving in sync with yours. You can't pull away. No, you can't. You want more. You start to move your body closer, about to straddle his lap but he stops you, grabbing your hips. He pulls away and chuckles.

"No, no. That's another time, beautiful." He smirks.

You blush deeply and bite your lip, staring at him. "It all makes sense." You whisper.

[belladonnafleur]

🐸

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm in A Mood™ (stressed) so im going back to my roots of melting two character together into one person. So bruce wayne!danny fenton. Danny Fenton who, for eight years, grew up in a beautiful gothic manor with his mom and dad under the name "Bruce Wayne". Playing piano with his mother, running around the manor with his father.

Then when he's eight it's ripped away from him. There's blood on his hands and pearls pooling at his feet, and both his parents are dead in front of him.

And he gets shipped off to distant relatives "the Fentons" shortly after, Alfred close on his heels because someone needs to take care of him, someone that knows him. Bruce goes to the Fentons for the safety of anonymity. Gotham's press wants to sink its teeth into him.

Danny misses his city even if it took everything from him. There are shadows in his eyes and he's pale as a sheet even beside his distant cousins, and they change his name to "Danny Fenton' because nobody should know that their newest child was illustrious orphan Bruce Wayne.

They call him Bruce behind closed doors. Danny prefers it that way, he clings onto the name -- the one his parents gave him -- like a lifeline. He makes friends with Sam and Tucker. Tucker takes one look at the willowy, morbid little boy standing in the corner like a shade, ghosts in his eyes, and drags him out into the sunlight, and takes him over to Sam.

When Danny is twelve, he's still not over it -- and he's a little obsessed with the Fentons' research, with the morbid. He has books upon books on death, murder, detective work. Anything he can get his hands on. And stars. He loves stars.

Alfred owns the apartment next to them and comes over regularly. Danny clings to him.

When Danny is twelve, he's still quiet, meek, a shy little thing prone to being bullied. Freaky little Fenton with the night in his eyes and too-cold skin even before he put one foot in the grave. in a sleepover in his room with Sam and Tucker, he tells them the truth. They're his friends, he trusts them.

"My name is Bruce." he murmurs, voice quiet as the breeze, always quiet. he's staring at his star-covered sheets.

"Like Bruce Wayne?" Tucker asks, a joking tone in his voice.

Danny smiles a little, lamb-like with insecurity. "I am Bruce Wayne." And he takes them down to the lab, disrupting Maddie and Jack, to prove it. Sam tells them of her own wealth then shortly after. They start calling Danny "Bruce" in private too -- its trust. Thats what it is. It's trust.

Sam goes to media functions and comes back with aching feet and complaints on her tongue -- and Danny soaks it up all like a sponge, splayed across a beanbag chair with Tucker in her room. He's not envious of her, he used to go to events with his parents and they kept him safe from the ugly of Gotham's Elite. For the most part. He's had comments made at him, he doesn't miss them.

Alfred returns to the manor semi-regularly, Danny goes with him. he wanders the hallways and helps Alfred clean, the last thing either of them want is for their home to fall into disrepair. He brings Jazz with him next time, then Tucker, then Sam. They all help him clean, and he shows them his room. The one across from his parents', it feels strange.

When Danny dies when he's fourteen, the first adult he tells is Alfred. He and Jazz go over to his house more often than they stay in the Fentonworks building. At least at Alfred's, the food doesn't come to life. Alfred sits at the kitchen table and weeps when Danny tells him, Jazz is upstairs, and its just the two of them.

Danny's ghost form wears pearls around his wrist and the gloves look stained with some kind of black substance. He looks like a child who died in a lab accident, but he also looks like a child who has shadows dripping off his shoulders, curling at his feet, hanging from his eyes.

because amorphous blob batman has my heart always and danny/bruce will not escape it even in death even if that IS the only reason im giving him Mild BatBlob Vibes...so far

when they go to the manor, alfred helps danny make a pile of stones between Martha and Thomas' graves, nobody but the two of them (and sam and tucker) will know what it means. (not even bruce's children later down the line, not for a long, long time)

danny dives into ghost fighting on shaky feet and not half as witty as he once was in one world. he's skittish, skittering between blasts from shadow to shadow and clumsily making his way through each battle. but helping people lights a fire in him. he still has shadows dripping off his feet but there's a purpose in his eyes.

and god help him, he's going to help people.

[theloveinc]

There's a lot of validity in the idea that older Bakugo is a traumatized pro-hero with major PTSD... but you know what's kinda fucked up to think about? The fact that Bakugo is also a 22-year-old pro-hero with major PTSD even before that, too.

It's almost easy to imagine that things are actually better when he's older (the therapy finally a routine, the trauma long set and on the path to being healed)... and that it's his whole 20s that are spent as a pool of disaster trying to recover from the war(s).

He looks back and barely even remembers being twenty, much less twenty-five or twenty-seven. Barely remembers how little he slept, not at the hands of trying to balance hero work and getting a degree at the same time, but just out of the pure insomnia that came from trying to move on and every nightmare attached.

Hardly ever showering, never shaving (not that he ever grew much of a beard, but the facial hair was definitely there. There's pictures of him on the news with an awkward, grown out haircut and patches on facial hair that make him look positively... immature), barely even eating more than a few protein bars or an energy jelly drink-a day. It's a blur, and his friends are hardly there to pick him up out of it because they're all going through it, too. Somewhat.

It's definitely weird if you meet him during this period. He's not all there, at least, not all of the time. He doesn't really register your interactions, the friendship you extend to him (a younger, or ever older, version of him would've shown you that deep seeded ferocity in response, tried to bite the hand that fed him, even if it were love... but 20s Bakugo... doesn't seem to notice). Even though only one of his eyes is clouded over, the good one never seems to brighten up.

There's definitely moments when the old him shines through: when he's with Deku, when he's in the midst of battle, when he finds out that Todoroki still does a shitty job at chopping scallions. But it's a long time before he's even close to the same, able to step out from underneath the fog of simply surviving and into the sunshine of recovering.

But I think sticking through it with him is worth it.

(It's a weird moment, a happy moment, the first time you realize that Bakugo has changed. That the pouring rain outside hasn't bothered him since he showed up at your apartment. He forgot his umbrella, he's been quite careless ever since the war—wet and shaggy hair frizzed up, cheeks red from cold—but he doesn't seem to mind, with his bare feet up on your coffee table, his eyes gazing out the window. You hand his tea, and instead of gulping it down in one go, letting it burn in his throat, he winces at the heat.

"Tastes like shit," he says, and you laugh because it always does. Just this time, he noticed.)

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 United States Grand Prix - Sprint - Fernando Alonso

[gunstellations]

rk800 💙 rk900

[disposal-blueeee]

from this thing lolz

ty to @cherry-207 for the idea !! XPP

vargas by zarla-s

[outlying-hyppocrate]

in line to the bathroom just to cry!!

[detectiveneve]

I kind of want to just restart emrys so I can play her again more perfectly this time... kill even MORE fiends and such. but also I speedran grymforge a bit & the thing is that. emrys rolls up to moonrise towers already have a deep-seated and intense paladin-specific beef with ketheric. babygirl heard that he was 1. an evil paladin 2. broke his paladin vow to TWO gods prior 3. was like That and decided Actually, I'm going to project All of my own personal issues and insecurities onto you. And then I'm going to kill you. and then she still offered to spare him. so I need the buildup to that from grymforge. you see.

[the-casbah-way]

grabs my computer screen and starts shaking it how to cure gender dysphoria HOW TO CURE GENDER DYSPHORIA

[fandom-fae]

why is there no actually good music app :/

like i’m using apple music and most of it works okay but the search function sucks so bad and i considered switching to spotify a while ago so i tried that out for a bit but holy shit the user interface sucks so much. the only good thing there are the user created playlists

and why youtube music and amazon music suck is obvious probably lol

[cavity-collector]

i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

[eoinmcgonigal]

So I saw a post about tumblr wanting to try this 'communities' thing, and I just gotta vent/say my piece. (the tl;dr is 'fuck that shit')

1. I really hate the current trend of fracturing and fragmenting things down into little pieces so they can be categorised into boxes. That's not natural. (Also, discord pushing threads, which I already detest for 1) making me feel like I'm gonna hurl from the violently dissonant, ugly layout, 2) the severely narrow topic problem, and 3) how neurodiverse-hostile they are.)

Like, naturally conversations meander. If you're only allowed to discuss one topic, it's gonna be stifling. You WILL run out of things to say. Making another little box isn't going to fix it, it'll just add to the clutter

2. Quite importantly, honestly, just stop fucking changing shit. It's unnecessary

3. It's not going to be neurodiverse-friendly. As if fandom hasn't changed enough to become increasingly unfriendly to people who are just here to enjoy their hyperfixation and/or special interest. I don't need another thing to learn to navigate. I don't need another place with different rules to carefully traverse. Yes, I'm fandom old and salty. I'm AuDHD and a spoonie with about half a spoon to spend on a good day. I do not have the energy to do all this switching about and jumping from thing to thing. It's exhausting. I want everything where I can find it, and where I can be passionate without having to perform tasks like it's some customer service job, or job interview

4. FOMO shit is toxic. This whole 'be a part of the thing!' necessity if you want to 'engage' or see the conversations and 'content'. Why? I guess it's a social media model that drives engagement, but the stress of it is going to fuck people up. What if you don't have the time, energy, health, spoons, social skills, etc? I have no idea how much interacting will be expected with other people in the 'community' but I can see it becoming a twitter-like circlejerk, and if you're not one of the 'in' crowd doing your required interaction/reblogging/commenting then you might as well not exist to that fandom/group

5. From the description, it looks like these things will be ripe for drama, toxicity, clique shit, becoming echo chambers, etc. because 'semi public' means you gotta opt in/join in some way and whatever's said isn't visible to any old user

Like, who is going to create and mod these things? Who decides what the rules are? What if your fave is 'problematic', or your kink is 'gross' (if nsfw is allowed at all), your take doesn't fit with fanon, or you are just a bit weird and people shun or turn on you for that?

I hope I'm wrong and either these things never happen or they're not as bad as I fear, but fuck sakes I have the above worries because it's shit I've seen happen time and time again, and I don't want to see given a place here

Also, genuinely, what the fuck is tumblr going to be like if you can't/don't want interact with these community things?

Quickly, 6. it creates an 'us' (in crowd) vs. 'them' (not part of our gang)

And then 7. who is going to be dominant in these 'communities'?

Yes, I'm upset right now, because tumblr was just fine (well, fine enough) until this point. I mean:

We have the ability to make sideblogs! (My Star Wars sideblog from... well a decade ago oops... is still out there, I don't touch it any more but I left it up for people to go through). Tumblr even made it so we can reply with sideblogs, which was a very neat update.

Tags!! I don't think it's as usual these days for people to go through tags to find new content, but that's how I do it, how I've always done it, and how I always intend to do it. I'm not following everyone who makes an SAS:RH post. I love you guys, but no. My dash would cause me to have a panic attack. It's already too much for me most days.

EFFORT!!!! I can be here every day full-time doing Stuff if I want! Or I can zone out for weeks if I want/need, materialise and contribute a silly meme, then drift off into the sunset again. If I 'miss' anything, I can go back through the tags, or scroll someone's blog. But honestly, who notices/cares on here if someone lurks or goes afk for a bit. It's super low pressure, because I'm doing what I can/want when I can/want

I want to opt in/out on my own time and terms. The thought of having to be part of a 'community' so I can see/not miss Content TM is freaking me out. I don't want there to be an 'appropriate' time window to interact with things like there is on other social media sites.

So, idk how the shit will look, but I don't agree with making things harder for people to access/find. I won't be posting stuff 'semi-privately'.

And you know what's super upsetting? The thought that I won't be able to see conversations and creations for things I love, because they're hidden away behind some complex new social thing I can't navigate. (Which is already an off-putting, ostracising problem on discord.) That's not how fandom communities should be.

The thought of there being less stuff 'out there' because it's in some 'community' somewhere... really not the direction I'd ever hope this site wold go in

I'm fuckin exhausted. Just lemme do my fandom whateverness without having to perform to some arbritary social interaction standard/requirements that I neither understand nor can do

[daandori]

decided to hurt myself by editing all my flaws out of my selfies and then comparing it to what i actually look like lol