#I fuckin did it… and it only took 3 years lmao

[leviiackrman]

Of my 29 OCs… I have 1 left to draw…

[floreads]

baby blues • carmen berzatto x reader

pair: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

synopsis: sugar's childhood best friend throws her baby shower, and is reintroduced to carmy.

a/n: while researching the character ages for this piece i discovered that nothing really makes sense timeline wise for the siblings’ ages, so just for the sake of this fic i decided that carmy is 28, reader is 29, and sugar is 31 <3 also i did not proof read this lmao so sry for any mistakes !

warnings: anxiety/panic attack, lots of swearing lmao, mentions of hooking up but nothing explicit, lmk if i missed anything else <3

word count: 3.2k

"Okay - yo, be careful with the cake!" You run - or wobble, as quickly as your heels will let you - over to the dessert table, pulling your dress down as you go. Running the show in this outfit wasn’t the most comfortable, but you don’t have time to go home and change before the event is set to start. The venue staff wouldn’t let you come in any earlier than 1:00 PM to get everything ready, despite your numerous pleas. 

The two-tiered dessert wobbles slightly, as Richie and his colleague from the yet-unopened The Bear restaurant make the short but dangerous trek from the venue door to the row of long tables. 

"Relax, Y/N, we got it," Richie waves you away. "Marcus here is a professional." They place the cake slowly, but precisely, onto its display stand.  

"It's not him I'm worried about," you give him a playful squint. "Everything has to be perfect for Sugar. She deals with enough, having to see your ugly ol' mug every day." 

You turn away from him before he can fire back, and greet Marcus with a quick nod. "It's nice to finally meet you, Marcus. Beautiful work on the cake." 

He smiles back at you. "Of course, only the best for Sugar's baby."

That's all you wanted - the best for Sugar's baby. That's why you took it upon yourself to plan Sugar's baby shower. It's something you'd been planning basically your entire lives - ever since you two were old enough to steal your moms’ magazines during sleepovers. You two had planned your entire lives out together, and though the details have shifted over the years, there was one constant through it all: you’d always have each other.

Growing up, you and Sugar were virtually inseparable despite her being a few years older than you. Wherever one went, the other was soon to follow, like a shadow. You never really got along with your own parents, and as the only girl in her family, Natalie welcomed additional the feminine energy. Gone were the days of Mikey and Carmy ganging up on her when you were around. It was, and still is, you and Natalie against the world. 

You glance at your watch with an impatient sigh. 2:36 PM. You have less than half an hour before all of the guests arrive, and 54 minutes until Pete arrives with Sugar. You've been there for the last hour and a half getting everything ready for Sugar and her unborn baby, and yet there was one thing missing. Carmen Berzatto hasn't come with the food yet. 

"Does anyone know where the fuck Carmen is?" you ask, not to anyone in particular.

As if he was waiting for his cue, Carmy barrels through the door right then, breathing as if he’d just run the mile in gym class. Two women you have yet to meet, presumably from his restaurant that you’ve heard so much about, are right on his heels, helping him wheel in a cart full of food trays and serving utensils. 

“Fuckin’ finally. It’s nice of you to join us, Carmen.” You exaggeratedly throw your hands up, walking over to him. This was not the reunion you’d hoped for after not seeing Carmy in years, after what you’d dubbed the incident - one that not even Nat knows about. 

“Finally? We’re only,” he checks his watch, “ten minutes late.”

“Ten minutes?! Try an hour and ten minutes,” you scoff, looking at him incredulously. 

His eyes widen, and you are slightly taken aback by just how blue they are, though you don’t know how you could’ve forgotten. His face reddens and you aren’t sure if it’s because of the intensity of your gaze or his embarrassment at being late. Before you can think too much into it, he’s turning to look at Richie.

“What the fuck, Cousin, you told me she said 2:30.” 

Richie turns to you. “I thought that’s what you told me to say!”

The biggest sigh, possibly of all time, leaves your body and you cover your face. “No, Richie, I told you to tell him to be here by 1:30.” 

“You know, I seriously fuckin’ doubt you said that, but maybe next time you should just call him yourself.” Richie counters. 

“God fuckin’ forbid I accept help when you offer it! But don’t worry, I’ve learned my lesson, ya fuckin’ jagoff,” your teenage accent comes out for a second, as always ends up happening when you argue with Richie. 

Carmy, who knows the way you and Richie fight all too well after witnessing it through your teenage years, steps in between you two. “Alright, alright, it doesn’t fuckin’ matter who said what anymore. What matters is we’re here now and I need to set up this food ASAP.” He turns, giving you his full attention. “Y/N, where can we put this food?” 

You send Richie one final glare before turning and leading Carmy to two long tables at the front of the room. “You’ve got these tables right over here. The venue gave us some food warmers, I’m sure you can figure out how to set those up better than I can. Be fast, Berzatto, we’ve got less than an hour before Sugar gets here and if anything is out of place, I’ll kick your fuckin’ ass.”

“Heard, Red.” He gives you a curt nod and moves to grab one of the trays of food before pausing so slightly that you know no one noticed - no one but you. He recovers quickly though, and it’s as if nothing happened. 

Your pause, however, is much more notable. No one has called you Red since Mikey died. Though the nickname was just the result of an unfortunate at home, box hair dye job at 15 (you were experimenting with your look - they can’t all be winners, okay?), it solidified you as an unofficial member of the Berzatto clan. 

“U-um, I guess I’ll just leave you to it then,” you stammer out, busying your hands with your phone to hide their trembles. As if she can feel your discomfort, the girl with the long braids tucked into a scarf walks forward, between you and Carmy, and offers you her hand to shake.

“I’m Sydney, by the way, Carmy’s CDC at The Bear,” she smiles. “And this is Tina, my sous,” she gestures to the smaller, but older woman next to her. 

You take her hand and introduce yourself, mentally berating yourself for not introducing yourself earlier. It’s not like you to be so rude - the stress of planning and executing a surprise baby shower for your best friend paired with the unnerving feeling of seeing Carmy for the first time since Natalie’s wedding must be getting to you. It may not be your place, but you’re still a little mad at him for skipping out on Mikey’s funeral and dropping contact with you altogether.

“I’m sorry! I swear, I’m usually not this all over the place. This whole thing’s got me goin’ a little crazy,” you gesture around the room. “Y’know, I’ve been meanin’ to get over to The Bear - it’s all Sugar’s been able to talk about lately. Besides the baby, of course. I was outta town for friends and family night - visiting my grandparents.” This was a lie - if Carmy was going to ignore you, then you were going to ignore him. Though, you know you’ll end up in the establishment one of these days now that Sugar is so involved. 

“Well, I’m sure Carmy and Natalie would love to have you in one of these days.” 

Your eyes flit to Carmen while you give Sydney a tightlipped smile and nod. You try not to let the awkwardness between you and Carmy show when your eyes meet. While you’d normally make some snide remark about how Carmy doesn’t have room for you in his life anymore, you remind yourself that today is about Sugar - not whatever problems you have with her younger brother. 

You take a deep breath and clap your hands together, wearing the kind of artificial smile that only the cheerleading protagonist of an early aughts teen drama would give. “Maybe someday!” 

Sydney and Tina exchange a look that you pretend not to notice.

“Well, I’ll just leave you guys to it then! The guests will be here any minute, so I’m gonna do one last walkthrough. Everything’s gotta be perfect,” you mumble the last part to yourself.

3:27

You’re chewing on your bottom lip, eyes bouncing between the venue’s big analog clock and the party’s guests, consisting of The Bear’s staff and the entire Berzatto clan (besides Donna - while Pete was in charge of the invites, you’d made sure that he didn’t invite her) when your phone vibrates in your hand.

Pete: The eagle is flying.

Your eyebrows furrow.

You: wtf are you talking about dude???

You: can u text me like a normal person rn, im about to have an anxiety attack

Pete: Me and Nat are outside!

You look up, eyes wide.

“Everyone, shut the fuck up! Hey, shut the fuck up! She’s here!” You shout, gesturing around wildly. It’s a little hard to get the attention of the loudest family of all time. Thankfully, Carmy sees you struggling and steps up to the front of the room with you.

“Yo! Sugar’s here!” His voice fills the venue, and everyone gets into place in front of the overflowing gifts table. “C’mon,” he motions you over to the front of the group with him. You can hear Sugar before you see her.

“Seriously Pete, where the fuck are you taking me? I’m way too pregnant to be blindfolded right now. Plus, there’s shit I gotta do at The Bear.”

“We’re almost there, relax,” Pete says with a clear smile in his voice as he opens the door and guides Sugar into the room.

The room erupts with an out of sync “Surprise!” and Sugar rips her blindfold off immediately, looking around the room in disbelief. 

She turns to Pete and hits him lightly on the chest, “What the fuck, Pete? Is this my fuckin’ baby shower?” 

He leans in to give her a kiss with his hand resting on her baby bump, and the moment is so sweet you have to look away. 

“Yeah, Nat. As much as I’d like to take the credit, Y/N was the mastermind here.” He gestures over to you and Sugar runs over to you, squealing.

The two of you hug as tightly as you can with the baby between you as she thanks you repeatedly. “I can’t believe you did all this!” You give her one last squeeze before letting her go.

“You know I’d do anything for you, Sugar. Plus, I gotta make sure baby Berzatto knows how much I love them already. I’m campaigning hard for that Godmother spot.”

“Psh,” she waves you off. “You already know you’re a shoo-in. Who else am I supposed to have as the Godparents for my first born if not you and Carmy?” She scoffs and moves on to greet her brother. 

The relief you feel as Sugar gets smothered with love by her family and friends is visible on your face as you make your way to the small bar and pour yourself a generous glass of wine. Now that Sugar was here and having a good time, your job micromanaging was done. You see Richie make his way over to you, pouring a drink of his own. 

“Ya did good, kid,” he gives you a pat on the back as he watches Sugar and Tiff animatedly talking. 

“Yeah, no thanks to your attempts at sabotage,” you joke. What was that with you tellin’ Carmy the wrong time?”

“I refuse to accept that, there’s no fuckin’ way I gave Carmy the wrong time. Anyway, if you two would just grow the fuck up and talk to each other-”

“Okay, don’t even fuckin’ go there, Richie,” you cut him off, shaking your head. “You know damn well I’ve tried to talk to him. If there’s anyone you should be lecturin’’ about this, it’s him, not me.” You pause to finish your drink. “Believe me, I’ve fuckin’ tried.” You pour yourself a new drink, smaller than the first. No matter how much you want to be drunk right now, you need to keep a clear head in case anything goes wrong. 

“I don’t know what that kid’s problem is,” he gestures to Carmy, slightly shaking his head. “It’s like tradition for the maid of honor and best man to hook up at a wedding. Who fuckin’ cares?”

Your eyes widen and you aggressively shush him. “Wha- keep your fuckin’ voice down, asshole! How the fuck do you even know about that?!” You whisper-scream at him, positioning yourself in front of him instead of beside him. 

“Chill out, Cousin, Carmy told Mikey, and Mikey told me,” he shrugged. 

“Mikey told you- so you’ve known this whole fuckin’ ti-” your sentence tapers off at the sight behind Richie. You can feel your heartbeat speed up and your hands begin to shake. “What the fuck is she doing here?” You march off towards the entrance, on a mission.

Richie’s eyebrows pinch together as you stomp away. “Who the fuck are you talkin’ about?” He turns, watching you approach the one party crasher that could ruin this day: the Berzatto family matriarch. “Fuckin’ Donna,” he mutters to himself.

Before you can reach Donna, she’s already shouting into the room. “Oh my God, look at this beautiful Berzatto family event. Oh - everyone’s here!” You can practically hear the incoming drama in the tone of her voice. “Too bad it seems like you motherfuckers forgot to invite me,” she laughs humorlessly. “It’s a good thing Jimmy let it slip to me that Sugar’s baby shower was today. It’s a grandmother’s right to attend her first grandbaby’s baby shower.”

You hold your hands out to her as if she was a wild animal, waiting to strike. “Listen, Donna, you cannot be here right now.” She grabs your arms.

“Oh, Little Red, you used to love coming over to my house. I fed you, housed you when your own parents didn’t want to. You’re so ungrateful… that’s probably where my kids get it from,” she stumbles closer to you, and you can smell the alcohol on her lips. Before you can reply, Carmy is stepping between you guys, taking her hands off of your arms.

“Hey, Ma, that’s enough. Don’t talk to her like that.” His voice is stern, but you can see the tremble in his hands. 

She grabs his face, gently. “Oh, Carmy. I don’t even know you anymore. When was the last time I saw you, huh? You never come to see me.” The tears are flowing freely on her face now. 

You glance behind you, looking at Sugar just in time to see Pete whisking her away to the kitchen, and out of Donna’s line of fire. At the same time, Richie is walking up to Donna. He puts his arm around her and leads her out the door. “C’mon, D, I’ll call you a cab. You should go home and go to sleep.” 

She pushes him off. “Y’know what? Fuck you Richie. Fuck all of you people, you don’t care about me at all. I’ll fuckin’ leave. None of you will miss me anyway.”

You take a step towards them, but Richie holds out a hand in protest. “I got this, Red, don’t worry about it.”

As Donna turns to the door with Richie hot on her heels, you gingerly place your hand on Carmy’s shoulder. “Hey, Carmy, come outside with me,” you slide your hand down his arm, take his hand, and lead the way towards the back door. He doesn’t look up, but follows you closely without saying a word. 

The stark winter air is refreshing, though you’re sure that you’ll regret the decision to come outside without a coat. You pull Carmy down to sit on the cool steps with you, and place your hands on either side of his face. You can feel him hyperventilating as your eyes meet his, his eyes wet with unshed tears. You resist the urge to look away. It’s been years since you’ve helped Carmen through a panic attack, and the memories are almost strong enough to cause your own tears. “Carmy, you have to breathe for me, okay? Here, try to match me.” You begin with the box breathing technique that you learned when you were teenagers. You take a deep breath in. One, two, three, four. Deep breath out. One, two, three, four.

In. One, two, three, four. 

Out. One, two, three, four. 

Carmy’s hands grip yours, hard, as he tries to match your breathing. “Just look at me, Carmy. It’s just you and me here, okay?” He nods and then closes his eyes, feeling the movement of your breath. 

You can’t tell whether it’s just a few moments, or ten minutes before you feel Carmy calm down, but he eventually opens his eyes and his grip on you loosens. You let go abruptly, as if his skin was a hot stove. 

“I- sorry. I’m sorry-” he starts, but you refuse to let him apologize for having a panic attack. 

“Don’t, Carmy. You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

“I do, though-” he starts again, but you shake your head. 

“C’mon, Carm. I know we haven’t talked in a while, but you know better than to apologize to me for having a panic attack.”

“That’s not- I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I’m sorry I didn’t answer when you called, either. And I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you when Mikey died.” Oh. 

You can’t help but look away, smoothing away the nonexistent wrinkles in your dress. “Carmen…” you trail off, not knowing what to say. “Let’s just leave it in the past. I think we’ve both been through enough today, yeah? It’s not important anymore.” You give him a tightlipped smile and move to get up.

He lets out a frustrated sigh, grabbing your hand. “No, it is important. I was a jackass. To everyone, but especially to you. I don’t want you to think that you were just- that what we did wasn’t-” he breathes out, running his other hand through his disheveled curls. “You’re important to me, okay?” 

You give his hand one last squeeze before letting go and wrapping your arms around yourself. Whether it’s as an emotional shield or because of the cold, you don’t know, but this is all becoming too much for you. “I know, Carmy. It’s okay, really. We don’t have to talk about it. Actually, I would prefer it if we didn’t. It’s been years, we’ve both moved on. I heard about you and Claire, and I’m happy for you,” you give him a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes, and he can instantly tell it isn’t real. “Let’s just pretend none of it ever happened, and we can go back to who we were before. For Sugar’s sake, okay?” You give him a single nod, as if you were agreeing with yourself on his behalf, and go back inside before he can respond. 

He leans back on the step and pulls out a cigarette, before talking to the air: “Okay.”

dividers credit ! <3

[wispstalk]

20 questions for writers

under the cut. Thanks to @everybodyknows-everybodydies for tagging🖤

Tagging back: @nuwanders @jiubilant @ervona @ehlnofay @druidx @blossom-adventures @sylvienerevarine @throughtrialbyfire @da3drat no pressure

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Five

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

198327

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just elder scrolls. I have a feeling that's gonna be it for me. I've been tempted to write stardew valley fic lately which would perhaps be classed as "crack" (I know what that is in theory but the way people use it makes no sense to me) but I took a cursory look at the tag and I don't think the stardew valley fandom is ready for a ray fic lmao

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Well. I have five.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try 🫠 it haunts me how often I've left my beloved mutuals on read..... but if that's u and I did, I am telepathically beaming this: !!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Making out sloppy style etc etc

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

lol. lmao even

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

.....within AO3 I guess it's "Morning" but also that's set at a refugee camp? I will say the skyrim story will have a more peaceful ending but up until now fic writing has been an outlet for my thwarted rage and covid brain damage soooo

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I mean this is generally a culture of positive feedback. Someone did yell at me once for hitting martin septim with the transgender beam which is a level of no-life-havin loserdom which could be classed as "hate" but came off as pure cope and seethe

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I really bristle at the word smut sorry its too cutesy. I was a prodomme for seven years I don't do euphemisms lol. I wrote a sex scene into IITT to see how I felt about writing sex scenes. I learned that I am only interested in writing them if they serve specific functions. I have absolutely zero judgment toward anyone who wants to write about fuckin and suckin, that's just not why I'm here

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No but recently my household watched game of thrones together and my bf and his brother were cracking jokes like what if one of these medieval characters had a gundam. Neither of them read fic so I was like don't be too entertained by yourselves. I bet that has been written. looked it up on ao3 and sure as shit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'm not gonna lie I did find a fic where someone very obviously ripped me off but I don't wanna call them out. One specific instance where they bit my style was so clumsily applied as to be obvious, but their prose in general was fantastic so like. who care.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not as far as I know but that would make me holler

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nope. I'm not opposed to the idea but it's hard to imagine how I'd do this given my process. I think I'd be pretty difficult to work with

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

?!? I dunno I don't have one. I put a lot of effort into writing martinhok but I could not say that one, due to how overwhelmingly heterosexual the tag is. I'm sorry but can everyone who's not a faggot please pipe down

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have my moments with the skyrim wip. I've signed myself up for something pretty complicated and challenging but I also learned that I can finish things so I'm not really worried about it. The fact of the matter is: I do not care if this is good. It matters that it is done so I can move on with my life. If parts of it are boring and overlong that's yalls problem

16. What are your writing strengths?

I get a lot of compliments on my worldbuilding. I do think a lot about the minutiae of material culture and think I have a talent for incorporating detail in engaging ways

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm a cornball. This is a corny activity. I don't really care because I'm doing it for free. Enjoy the unsolicited view into an internet stranger's terrible psyche

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I try to apply with a light hand. I'm a dumbass sheltered American and I can mostly make myself understood in a Spanish-speaking country but that's about it. I like playing around with language and the idea of multilingual societies matters to me so I include it, but I'm not a linguist so I try to work within my limits. Whether I am successful at this is up to others.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Elder scrolls. Never felt compelled until i spent a winter playing oblivion and went wow this game has an incredibly bleak narrative behind a silly aesthetic. Oops now I'm in a lore pit

20. Favorite fic you've written?

The Nature of Fire is my best prose hands down. I'm gonna be real with y'all I am desperate for people to read it. It is genuinely the best I can do at this point and if you like what I've done so far, well, whatever u read sucks compared to this fic.

[legacyshenanigans]

Alright, long-winded and random, but do you guys wanna know about the wild dream I had? And I have dreams like this regularly, I don't know what that says about me, but yeah 🤣 here we go..

The dream was in segments for some reason, where I like fell into different areas randomly.

Segment 1:

I was in an office building, there was just a bunch of people in suits working on computers, but the office building was like a HUGE log cabin in the middle of a city, and I remember thinking IN my dream "this is so out of place" 🤣

Anyway, some woman wanders over to me with a giant bag filled with cutlery and she says "You have to go and set the table for lunch time" and I said in my dream "I dont work here" and she was like "It doesn't matter, just go and do it" so I took the bag and went into this room where there was the BIGGEST table I've ever seen, and I only had 10 minutes to set up all the cutlery on this table ready for the lunch hour, and for some reason one of my cousins who havnt seen for like 15 years showed up and started talking to me and I was like "Listen, I need to get this done stop talking to me" and he KEPT talking to me and in the end I lost my rag and I was like "If you're gonna stand there distracting me, atleast fucking help me!!" And then I fell through the floor into segment 2 of the dream.

Segment 2:

I was at a big house, and there was a pond in the back garden. One of my uncles wife's dad's was there (no idea why ive met him twice lmao) and he was telling me that there was way too many frogs in this pond and that it was really bothering him, because they're so loud and they're always splashing around in the water. He also told me there was a particular frog that looked really weird and it was like the leader of all the other frogs, and he told me to try and get rid of some of them, and gave me a net and a huge bag to put all the frogs in. Anyway, so there I am, scooping frogs and putting them in this bag, but they're all jumping out all over the fuckin place and it's total chaos. And then I see this "Leader" frog. It's bigger than the others, so I thought if I could get the leader in the bag and make it STAY in the bag, the others would follow, so I'm wading in the pond trying to catch this big frog, and I finally catch it and it starts fuckin snarling at me and trying to bite me, and I'm screaming for help, thrashing around, fighting this frog in this random ass pond, and then I suddenly went underwater, then popped up in segment 3 of the dream.

Segment 3:

I was sat on a sofa in a living room, and there was a little ginger dog next to me, staring at me. And then one of my uncles walked into the room and was like "are you ready to go?" And I was like "where?" And he said "We'll take the dogs for a walk" and I said "Dogs plural?" Because far as I knew there was only the one dog, the little ginger one that was next to me, and I looked back at the dog and there was now 4 of them all sat there looking at me. So we take them for a walk, and we're walking along the beach in the next town over to where I live now, and my uncle says "Had any weird dreams lately?" And I said "Yeah I'm having one right now, actually" and laughed, and my uncle looks at me confused and says "What do you mean?" And then I get confused and say "Well this is a dream, isn't it? I'm dreaming, like right now? None of this is real?" And my uncle stops and looks at me like I'm a fuckin monster or something, he looks terrified and his face started stretching out and going all fuckin weird and he starts screaming and his scream was getting louder and louder and the dogs turned to Ash like Thanos just did the snap or some shit. And the sand and sea on the beach went all black and fuzzy and then I woke up.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my talk. 🤣

If anyone is a big dream freak, lemme know what all this means? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[froggos-art-corner]

Hey y'all remember how I said i would post writing stuff? Well here's a fnaf AU for ya!!!

So basically it takes years after the events of Ruin, the ending where Cassie seemed to have died but she didn't in this au since Gregory, Vanessa and Freddy went here and saved her [Also in this au the Princess quest ending is the canon ending for SB]

So basically a good couple of years later Gregory is 20 years old and Vanessa is somewhere in her 40's and Freddy has a full body cause when they saved Cassie, they all live in Ness's house [ima shorten their names] and Gerg is feeling guilt about hurting all of the other animatronics, so he wants to go back and save them but Ness is like ''Hell fuckin no'' but Greg goes and does it anyways cuz he doesn't want to listen to Ness <3

And Cass follows Greg there since she knows how to fix animatronic too [They both took engineering classes btw] but when they get there Cass shows Greg the Vanny mask and Greg puts it on and is like, ''why tf did you hide this?'' and she goes, ''Idk'' so they use the Vanny mask to get around and shit, but this time instead of showing the mimic or the glitch thing it shows Glitchtrap and only to Greg so Greg is confused but ignores him for now

But long story short they turn off all the animatronics and put them all ina area where they can get fixed Including Glamrock Bonnie along with Sun [along with his counterparts] and DJ and then they go home since it took them forever to find and to turn them off [especially since they don't like Greg LMAO]

When they get home Freddy is like ''Where the hell were you two it's midnight??'' and they answer, ''Dw about it bbg'' and he goes, ''Alr'' then Cass goes to bed and Greg looks for more information about Glitchtrap since he curious now, and during that he finds Ness's VR headset and he hides it in his bedroom then epps

The next morning he hooks up the VR headset to his TV and plays the HW game from the start, still finding Glithtrap in there and it even talks to him, explaining some things about the game and leaving hints about who he is, witch he is William Afton

Once he finds out who hes talking to is WIlliam Afton he's very confused, since yk William Afton has been dead for YEARS and William explains himself and twists the story so Greg will be on his side��

Something that had been going on as Greg had played the VR, Will had gotten more and more control of Greg without Greg knowing, but to everyone else in the house, something is clearly wrong with Greg but they cant identify what yet 

On one fateful afternoon tho, Ness finds the VR headset in Greg’s bedroom and Greg and Ness have a huge argument about it, to the point where Ness slaps Greg and Freddy has to break them up

As Greg progresses through the vr game, Greg and Cass fix the animatronics at the Pizza Plex one by one, getting them in working cognition but also finding out more about Will

The more info they find about Will at the PP [Pizza Plex] Greg finds out Will lied to him about the actual story witch causes Greg to get mad at Will but he's too far deep to break off from Will’s powers so he keeps losing his mind to the point where he's hearing and seeing things that aren't there, he even makes a bear suit so he could kill

But when Ness, Freddy, and Cass find out about all of this it's too late, he's in Will’s compete control and they cant do anything besides kill Greg, witch no one wants to do so Greg asks Cass t compete fixing the animatronics and then stabs himself multiple times with a knife in front of Ness, Cass and Freddy, witch they all cry over

But thats the bad ending

The good ending is where you fix all the animatronics before Greg loses his mind completely and he's able to fight off Will’s virus

[moonjxsung]

okay okay we're leaving annoying shit in the past year so i wanna start the new year by asking you *drum roll* what were your favorite fics you wrote last year? you can make a top 5 if you wish, pretend you're in top 5 breakdown by watcher (this reference will not make sense to most ppl probably but i had to make it)

also maybe some of your favorites or The™️ favorite quote you wrote? (maybe this one is impossible to answer bc you wrote like 500k words last year sorry)

can't believe my first ask when you're back is me being like fuckin oprah w you

so happy you're back bestie let's alllll have a good 2024 even if it's only in our silly blogs online

-🐟

Oh my goodness I love this QUESTIONNNN you had me scrolling through my own masterlist and reading my work again for this 🥹🫶

Okay my TOP 5 FAVORITE FICS……. This was simultaneously a hard and an easy question at the same time but:

1. When the Rain Stops

2. Where the Storm Looms

3. Seasons

4. Biker!Minho drabble

5. VOYIS + B&B

I know most people are going to wonder where Lost in Translation is and I LOVE that fic, but weirdly it took me a very short amount of time to write so it never quite stuck with me like the others did! WTRS/WTSL series was my favorite series by far, it was just supposed to be porn with a plot and I literally spun a wheel with some options to determine where the characters would have sex, AND to pick which member it was going to involve 🤫 I was so reluctant when I got Minho bc I really wasn’t familiar with writing him but I think it created a completely new version of him in my mind and the character and world building just wouldn’t stop once I started it. It was also my most highly requested fic for a part 2 considering part 1 had a severe lack of resolution and I just fell in love with the characters (I think I was extremely Minho biased for weeks after finishing it lmao). Seasons was a challenge for me but I always love writing about Felix and I think putting myself in the headspace of that little town was super healing and I was SO sad when I reached the end of it. Biker Minho smut was probably my most self-fulfilling one regarding ✨spiciness✨ and maybe my most requested drabble for a part 2 (highly considering it if you guys want it? 👀) he’s just so FINE….. and last but certainly not least was VOYIS, I actually researched a lot of art techniques and I listened to a lot of classical music while writing this one so it was just an experience! I was immediately intrigued at the request itself, which is why it’s tied with Begged and Borrowed as they were the two I was so interested in I wrote them at the same time, literally switching back and forth between documents 😅

And a few favorite quotes (in no particular order):

1. “How could a higher power accept the felicitations of the same man who’s been fucking you behind the groom’s back? Within the four walls of which transforms hate to love, and sin to virtue? What a waste, Minho concludes again. What a waste to have loved this deeply, and to pacify your fears only for another man to reap the benefits. Try as Jung might, he’ll never know you the way Minho does. And the vast trench that separates you from Jung, one which paints a clear divide of friendship and his superficial love for you- that will remain permanent, too.”

- Begged and Borrowed

2. “And if you were to climb out of your body and paint this exact moment, all you would see are an indistinguishable, amorphous set of limbs that seem to dissolve into each other like hues of paint on a palette. Two colors swirling around to make one, the two of you like primary colors that create endless possibilities when mixed together like this, offspring of a hundred different shades, painting the darkened studio around you with your yearning for one another.”

- Visions of You in Solitude

3. “Except maybe simple wasn’t the solution all along- for once, he’s determined to bask in all your complexities, even if it means sacrificing everything he left the city to pursue.”

- When the Rain Stops

4. “But he feels it- he feels you, in this city, at every corner he turns. He sees traces of you in the people who smile at him when he passes them by. He sees you in the people who hold doors open for him, the baristas who make foam hearts in his lattes every morning, even the businessmen when they catch themselves admiring the beauty of the buildings on a smoke break. He sees you in all things good, when he’s reminded momentarily that the world has more to offer than boxing him in the confines of a dark bar out in the suburbs. And while he’s not completely in love with life all over again, it’s a start.”

- Where the Storm Looms

5. “The phenomenon begs the question- had the fire ever really stopped? Were you ever in the process of mending if not wailing like this, your vulnerability on display for the world to see as your walls are finally let down? Is this what it means to feel?”

- Seasons

Thank you for these questions, it’s good to be back 🫶💫 I love you! Let’s have an amazing 2024 🫶🩷💓

[sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler]

the holidays are always really fucking weird, i dont like many of them but specifically December is just- ew

Anyway ill just thro my mini pitty party real quick:

These song explains how I feel about christmas time *perfectly*

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas by mother mother (christmas playlist)

From heres basically a trauma dump about being in the hospital, but i typically talk about this in a tone more like "oh yea! i nearly died lmao"

When i was like, just turning 6 I had 💫pneumonia💫 & needed to go to the 💫hospital💫. So I spent like, 12/11-31/15 in the hospital. along the way i had these treats happen (not really in order, 💜=story from family member, ❤=i actually remember this)

💜being diagnosed by my sisters 16 yo boyfriend by looking at my gums, whereas medical staff took 4 days

❤Some mcdonalds, cool auntys banana bread, jello & making popin cookin sets w/ my older sister

💜a 5 day medically induced coma

lung surgery therefor cool fuckin scars on my back (WHICH I CANT FUCKING SHOW ANYONE CAUSE I WAS CURSED W/ TITS AND 2/3 ARE UNDER MY BRA)

💜waking up from said coma periodically only to say "im scared" w/ my mom trying to comfort me but i had ear shit going on

💜Finnaly actually woke up, yelled "IM DEAD", which is reportadly the scariest shit my dad has ever heard, my mom asks if i hurt, i say yes, she like "ur not dead honey" again i was 6 & in & out of a coma 😂 (idk why but I've always found that story funny)

💜my parents being thretened w/ truancy by my dumbass school

❤Christmas, I had *2* mini christmas trees in my hospital room 💅 1 was cool but my cool uncle & aunty got me a pink 1 which I still have to this day as a lamp

💜only trusting 1 of my doctors cause he looked like my grandfather who'd been deceased for 2years at that point

❤💜going on walks around the kids floor in a wheelchair & stealing a little gingerbread beanie baby ornament but they didnt care so they just let me keep it & i still have it somehwere.

💜my mom met a lady who had a son who was a few months old & they didnt expect to live past a couple weeks but he *did* (more on that later)

💜had food in the cafeteria and i proceeded to rub the pizza i got *into my hair*. My response? "Its just cheese" my family and I quote that to this day lmao.

💜being reverted to a toddler for a good minute (someone asked my age i said i was 3, i was not) & needing to relearn walking, talking, the little bit of reading i knew & getting into a shower w/out being scared of being pulled down the drain

❤said dude who asked my age worked at the hospital cafeteria & we visited him after most of my appointments. miss u uncle (that was what he went by), wish u well. Dont know where he since covid cause the part of the building cafeteria was in was torn down.

❤and after all that later and i got releaced on new years eve :>

results:

From there forward i had a 20-30minute nebulizer to do every 4 hours (which my parents had to wake up at like 2am for a half hour for), 2 twice daily inhailers, 2 nasil sprays, "the tire" (tastes like shit and makes me feel anxious) (that isnt even all of it my mom counted 8 meds at one point) and i slowly dropped them year by year till they had me down to just rescue inhailer as needed & if my lungs r really shit for a min i go on the tire. (Tire=prednisolone but what 6 year old is remembering that name lol)

specialist appointments every week, then 2 weeks, then every month, 3 months, 6 months, now im at checkup every year and check in as needed

"Look whos inside again" by bo burnham is my life in a nutshell

To this day the smell of a consentrated area of hand sanatizer just has me stop in my tracks lol.

seeing a picture of tiny me on my parents facebook feed yearly of me unconscious in a hospital bed w/ tubes in mah face

couple of close friend i met post hospital (keep in mind i was like 7) didn't believe me so i ran around the playground cursing them the fuck out (never did get in trouble for that 😂) ((I still talk to 1 of them shes cool))

Idk where to put this but about that kid I was talking about before, I found out last year around this time he had just died- of 💫pneumonia💫. yea that fucked me up for a good minute, he was around 6 too which didn't help, I never even met the kid and I still had a weird form of survivors guilt.

Anyway have a merry fucking christmas i really dont get this holiday lol, treat yourself kindly, feel free to be the grinch you are and explain in detail why u hate the holidays u arent alone lol

[malachiexists13]

9. "Can we meet?"

//tw: angst

Notes: I've kinda made Albedo into a stupid dick in this story but I promise he'll get better lmao. Also apologies for how long this took <3 I have a D in Disaster Science and Istg if I failed the 3rd unit test, my father will crucify me /j

EDIT: IF YOU SAW THIS WITHOUT THE TAGLIST. NO YOU DIDN'T. I fuckin' knew I forgot something but I couldn't remember what until it was posted. omfgggg

You have chosen... "Give Albedo a chance to explain himself"

This action will have consequences

Angered by the lack of response they were receiving, Y/n put their phone on silent and stormed out of their room, paying no mind to the concerned looks from Thoma and Venti. They walked out of the apartment and made their way towards Scaramouche’s dorm. Not a single cohesive thought echoed in their mind, only unanswered and anger-induced questions. How could one night at the start of this year cause so much worthless and unnecessary trouble? 

‘Calm down, you need to calm down, Y/n.’ Even though they wanted to stay mad, they couldn’t. Sure, they could stay mad at A, but what was the point of allowing Heizou and Scaramouche to see that anger as though it were directed at them? Y/n took a deep breath, and before they knew it, they were in front of Scaramouche’s door. And that was when the nerves set in. This would be the first time they’d seen Scaramouche since that day in the park in person. And the entire situation with A… Did they even care about his identity anymore by this point? 

But pondering was no use. Not when the answer stood on the other side of the door. Taking another deep breath, they raised their hand and softly knocked on the door. Some shuffling and footsteps could be heard on the other side before the door opened with a creek and they were greeted by Scaramouche. Without any words exchanged, he gestured for them to enter and led them into the living room, where Heizou was waiting. 

“..Let’s get this over with. Who’s A?” Y/n spoke as soon as Heizou noticed their presence. Heizou nodded and pulled out his phone, “I used his phone to send all the evidence to myself before deleting the conversation off of his. All you need to do is read the contact name and it’s right there,” Heizou told them, then handed his phone to them. The screen was opened to a conversation dated earlier that day, with only screenshots having been sent. Screenshots of Y/n’s and A’s conversations. At the top, the name ‘’Bedo’ was typed out. 

“..’’Bedo..’?” Y/n muttered before realization dawned on them, “Albedo?!” they questioned, getting a solemn nod from Heizou in response. “He… I don’t…” Y/n muttered, unsure of how to respond. “..I’ll give you some time, Y/n. Talk to you later, Scara.” Heizou said, then left. Scaramouche walked up to Y/n, placing a hand on their shoulder. When they met his gaze, he opened his arms, a wordless offer. And one Y/n wasn’t keen to turn down. They nodded, and allowed Scara to pull them into an embrace, finding comfort in his warmth. 

“..I don’t even know Albedo but… I.. I just never took him to be this type…” they whispered. “I know. Hell- I know him and I was shocked.” Scara muttered, “..But it’ll be okay.” “No- I… I cussed him out, Kuni.. I.. I was so mean. He just-- he was evading the question and I got mad and--” they whimpered. “Hey, hey.. You don’t owe him anything, okay? If anything, he deserved that for being so needlessly evasive.” Scara whispered, gently running a hand through Y/n’s hair. “..Kuni… I don’t know what to do. I only messaged him out of curiosity and I… what do I do?” 

“..You don’t need to talk to him anymore. But the decision is yours. Whatever choice you make, I’ll be here for you… Okay?” Scara told them. “..T..Thank you, Kunikuzushi.” Y/n whispered, hugging him tighter. But he only chuckled, “I don’t need any thanks. I’ll always be here for you, Y/n. You’re my best friend, …I care… deeply about you.” Y/n didn’t respond, choosing to bask in the warmth of his embrace. 

Previous || Masterlist || Next

Notes: might be getting a new phone soon so format may change. Idk, I'll try to keep it consistent until. Anyways, see ya'll in like- another week lmao.

Taglist: @chosomybeloved @swivy123 @ayanokomu @ghostlysyntaxed @deathkat657 @hey-comrade-hold-stil @caffeine-mess @semi-orangeapple @makimakimi @neigesprincess

[bubblyqueer000]

APRIL FOOLS JOKE POST Mondo Owada x Me PART 3!! THE FUCKENING :0

soz I haven't been posting. I'll make an update soon C:

still tho gotta do my yearly april fools day post!!

FUCKING SHIT WIENER COCK DOODLE!! HEY DICK NOSES IT’S BUBZ CHAN AND IM MAD. RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDFNNJHBNJHBGBHNJHBGVHNHBVGBNBHHB

Okay so like last year that little cock weasel, monocumstain killed my boyfriend, mondo because he was mad he commited a hate crime and fucked me on the tables in the cafeteria, coating them in his dick cheese in the process. UGGGGHH

BUT ACTUALLY I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS REALLY PUNISHED BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE TASKED WITH SCRAPING HIS SMEGMA OFF OF EVERY SURFACE OF THE SCHOOL!!!! >:C

I was in the midst of using a metal spatula to scrape off his dried up mondo butter from under the tables when I felt a horrible pain filling my chest.

“Ow tf” I sayed

“Shut the fuck up” said Kyoto

“No you cunt, my stomach really hurts.”

“Well no shit we’re all like a million years old now and during that whole time mondo was fuckin destroying your organs.” Said toastermi

“…

…

Shit u right.” And then I felt another horrible fucking pain in my tummy!!! “AHHHHHHFHDNDNBDNDJDNDND NO YOU BITCHES IDK WHATS HAPPENING”

“maybe u need a nap c: “ Nina told me

“YOU DONUT SUCKING FUCK WAD HELP ME.” 

“DON’T WORRY YALL I GOT THIS!” Said sakura, kicking me as hard as she could in the stomach making my organs squirt out of my ass with a loud shlorp. 

“OH SHIT IN THE SINK GET HER TO THE SINK!” Shouted byakuya bc he thought it was my period and he was scared of periods and stuf. 

So yea soccer ball carried me over her shoulder into the kitchen and plopped me in the sink where I screamed and farted loudly lmfao. I really hope that no one actually gets turned on by this dear fucking god. 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” idk how birth works soz. 

So yeah I shitted out a bb. 

“What the fuck” Said everyone collectively. 

“Goo goo ga ga 😀” He goo goo ga gad

“HOW THE SHIT DID THIS HAPPEN?” 

“Because you had tons of unprotected sex with mondo.”

“Oh yeah ur right. Alright well… Idk ummm ill name u mondo after ur dad ig.”

“otay” he said bc that’s how babies talk according to fan fic writers wtf is wrong with you people??

“Acutually you can;t lol” said byakuya smartily. “Bc if u did that everytime you called him that hed think of how u fucked his dad or some shit.”

“Byakuya what the actual fuck. I don’t think you understand the absurdity of what you just said. Not only is that sexualizing my infant son, but it’s also an incredibly perverse interpretation of a healthy relationship based on love and respect, and now that he’s passed us on, it’s all the more insensitive.” I told him and everyone started clapping. I looked at the fuckin kid and thought and thought. “Wait wat was mondo’s brother’s name again?”

“Diarrhea.” Sayd makoto.

“LMAOOOOO k ur names diarrhea.” i told the child. 

“K lol.” he said. 

“Ermmm… ERRRRMM…. ERRRMEN AOT…… ERMINEM SLIM SHABBY SLIM ANUS….. ERRRRM…” byakuya erms.

“WHAT WANT BUTT FART???” I sowed   

“well everyone knows that babies need a mommy and daddy or else thre brains wont work. so im volunteering to be ur rich and morty. fuck wait no. rich baby daddy” he explammmed rickbabydaddily 

“??? Tf no!! richie bitches suck” and then I rapped the entirety of piggy pie by icp for everyone but it was a parody that fit the situation like that one mlp web series we all watched as kids that had the parody wreck it ralph op and there was also fuckin evelyn evelyn and confrontation from jekly and hyde parodies ummmm… hold on let me google it. PRINCESS TRIXIE SPARKLE BY MAGPIE PONY.

so I took a break from writing this and taking care of my bastard son to re watch that series and then the first four seasons of mlp and then like all of rainbow dash presents fuck i miss the early days of mlp lmao    

So anyways after that I came out of my room and Daiya II was like a teenager because I was watching mlp content for like fifteen years. 

“Hewwo mwommy” he said 

“Ew why do you still talk like that? Get that shit out of here.”

“Jeez you’re such a bitch.” He told me.

“:0??? >:0! Go to ur room you little shit!” 

“NO mom! >:0! YOU go to YOUR room!”

“Wait what.” and then my own son stabbed me. “Ow bitch u stabbed me in the tit.” 

“Yea but it’s dedly bc ur like 47893845748398.”

“...”

“...”

“SHIT” so yeah I fuckin died. 

“You… cunt.” I said and stoped living. 

When I woke up I was in hell. And who else was there???

Ur MOM! (sorry if ur mom is actually ded or somethin rip)

BUT ALSO MONDO AND DAIYA OWADA (the first one not my son)???? :0

“Hey cootie ;0” said doodie owada

“MONDO!” I cried running over to him.

“Am I a joke to you?” Daiya asked bc i ignored his dumb ass

“Wassup bbygrl C:” Mondo asked. 

“I missed you so much.” I told him. 

“Awww”

…

…

…

…

… 

“Kay let’s fuck already.” 

“K.” 

Our clothes all burned off bc my homophobic relatives tell me that I hell is hot. Then they bent me over. I suckked daiyas dick and took mondos in my ass. 

“Glucglucglucglucglucgluc” i said suckn dick. 

“Coom” and then I fake my organism. 

Soooo yeah were done and were just chillin wit angel hazbin hotel bc it’s hell. BUT IT TURNED OUT THAT DAIYA II WAS THERE BC HE WAS EXECUTED LMFAO

Anyways happy april fools day seeya next year :3

[thekidsarentalright]

HELLO I SURVIVED!! my voice is extremely fucked up from screaming and my legs hurt but i’m alive!! i feel like there’s so much stuff i need to ramble abt so i’m just gonna write a fuckin essay here lmao i’m so sorry 😭

ok so the stage looked SO cool in person. the backdrops were gorgeous <3 and everything was like a physical prop, not projections… including the giant replica of bubbles the dog <3 pete kept pretending to put his hand in its mouth and patrick was singing to it! and the pyro was insane, i could feel the heat from it and i was Not super close to the stage. they Also had a clock on the side of the stage that would go backwards every so often… like going back in time to play older songs 😭

UM?!?! THAT SETLIST?!?!?! ginasfs was NOT a possibility in my head at all, so that was absolutely insane, my god!!! everyone was like “???” after pete said they’d never played it live. and then it started and my brain literally blacked out. like my only thought was “there’s no way this is happening, what the FUCK”. that song is so important to me and honestly was one of the first ones i remember loving when i got into fob, so that was a whole moment!! if there’s a different song every time that’s so scary, i SO hope u get the song u want if that’s the case! <333

“don’t forget who left the light on 20 years ago” had me tearing up and then all the tttyg stuff… fob wants us all dead fr! and THEN HEAVEN IOWA?! AND HEADFIRST SLIDE?!?!?! i was HOLLERING the whole time, my throat still hurts 💀 and FAKE OUT OMG WHERE DO I EVEN START 😭 the pink lights worked and it looked so pretty!!! it took some ppl a minute to get theirs set up, so the stadium kinda gradually lit up more and more and by the middle of the song it was fully lit! i swear i saw the exact moment where patrick realized what was going on and he smiled so big <3 i teared up so hard (was trying not to cry bc i had glitter on my face lol… i kinda cried anyway) and then pete gave us a shoutout! i’m def keeping my seashell on like… my wall or smth <3

also the covers!! that first song patrick did at the piano is lake shore drive, it’s actually what he was playing in that tiktok of him in the studio back in like… february! (it’s the piano thing right after the clip of him playing trumpet) my mom recognized it when i was watching that video originally and asked why he was playing it, so i already knew the song… was Not expecting it live tho 🤯 and then don’t stop believing?!?! we were all v confused but excited lmao… and then crazy train a bit later 😅

and pete did baby annihilation!! honestly when i said he could do it and i’d cheer, i did NOT expect him to actually do it lmaoo… but he did and it was fantastic!! hold me like a grudge was also incredibly fun, it goes so hard live <3 shoutout to the ppl who were doing the clapping during the bridge w me lol

every time patrick started talking he’d go “hi” in this soft voice and i was just like “HIIIII 🥺” AND HE WORE DOC MARTENS!!! AAAA 💓 he was so sunshiny and just skipping around like usual <3

OH ALSO!! idk what the other venues on this tour are like, but wrigley has this thing above the stage where they have a couple different flags, and all except one of them were changed out to be the smiley face logo!! it reminded me of when they planted their flag in the lftos music video and i got emotional looking at it 😭 like. they did it!! and it’s so obvious they’re excited to be doing all this!! ur gonna have an absolute blast at your show for Sure!

(the openers were fucking amazing too, i totally didn’t process that tai was playing until literally right before they came onstage. and then they covered snakes on a plane and were like “iykyk” and i very nearly died lmao)

(alsooooo congrats on finishing ur first year of college!! happy stardust summer! mwah 💕)

- 🧋 anon

SOOO sorry to be answering this a couple days later tumblr never showed me i got it!!!!! ANYWAYS

ohhhhh my god it sounds like it was such a fantastic like. incredibly special concert, i'm so happy for u!!! the setlist and the set itself literally blew my mind as i was watching a livestream of the show like????? my god they really pulled out ALLL the stops while also keeping the classics on there, really a setlist to please Everyone i think?? also w the set like. all the animatronic stuff and different backgrounds and everything. patrick was Not kidding when he said this show was visually different than anything they'd ever done before i am. SOOOO impressed. actually both by that and the stardust project, i remember something similar happened for mania tour and it was really pretty (kept my cutouts and still have them!!!) so im VERY glad it's happening this time for fake out <333 they deserve to see all of our love in every way possible <333

SO interesting that that's what he was playing on that tiktok omg he was practicing for so longggggg.... insane that ur show got a special lil piano mashup and then last night he did what a time to be alive.... so curious to see if its wattba forever now or if that's gonna be different each night Too!!!

and YEAHHH baby annihilation being on the setlist is making me soooo ;__; every time i think abt it im sooooo proud of pete for like. being confident enough to do That in front of thousands of people. also made me so happy to see patrick skipping around stage in his slay lil outfit like all four of them were SOOO happy u could tell i just. god i love them, they DID it they had their lil flag planted and played such a good show. last nights show was no doubt so good and special too from every video i've seen i just. i Know this tour is gonna be the tour of a lifetime, im SOOO excited for my show and also so glad urs was such a wonderful time and experience like u got so many special lil things!!! ginasfs and snakes on a plane etc!!!!!!!!! loved hearing all of this <33333

[rabble-dabble]

So, regarding your latest piece.

VGDVYHFBTGFHFTFHDBCC GOOD! VDVFYBTHFCGJC5V5HFHDYD

LOVE IT!

AAAAHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!! (and apparently so did other people too!!)

it's a redraw from last year's lyricstuck- but to be honest, i did the redraw literally last year. as in it was only a month after the first one that i decided to put in ACTUAL effort and redraw the fuckin thing. it worked out pretty well i think because it looks SOOOO much better than the original!

it took me a couple of days (because i put in actual effort lmao) but i was working on it for HOURS, just for like days straight because it was the only time i had to do it, so i knew i needed to finish it. i also fixed up mistakes i put in the first time - spelling mistakes, spacing, just little touches that needed fixed or coloured i didn't do originally. i think i struggled the most with the villian panel - i'm a bit insecure with how clearly you can see my (to me) childish drawings because i don't know how to work without lineart that well. i just blurred it last year but blurring it for the second one ruined the vibe i was going for so i kinda just grit my teeth and posted it knowing it wasn't my best, but hey, at least i tried!!

overall, i'm glad it turned out so great. it also highlights how much effort i've put into my artwork, and how it's paid off, plus how much more i still need to improve. i think i need to improve my backgrounds more, and learn how to not only draw things that AREN'T people, but without lineart as well.

thanks for the ask i was literally smiling when i got it <3

[blackbird-brewster]

AO3 Wrapped

I already answered [all of the even numbers], so might as well just finish out the list so I have it as a post.

How many words have you written this year?

In the four months I've been actively writing this year I have published: 390,729 words (holy fuckin shit!!!!!)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Definitely proud of [Fooled Around (and Fell in Love)], just due to the length of it and because I hadn't read any really healthy polyamory fics about my blorbos, so I'm so happy there is one now!

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

[Answered Here]

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

[Answered Here]

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

JJ/Tara!!!!! I just absolutely fell in love with them after finishing Fooled Around and I've written quite a [bit] [more] [with this pair]. I think they're an extremely underrated pairing in the CM fandom!

11. What work took you the longest to write?

My current WIP [Between You & Me] was started a month ago and still has more to go. Which is flipping wild bc it's only 30k right now....while Fooled Around is 168k and that took me about three and a half weeks to write

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

As mentioned above! [Fooled Around (and Fell in Love)] is 168,268 WC which is also my longest work in general. (Second longest is only 39k)

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

Not sure if [Between You & Me] will be finished by the end of the year or not (Fingers Crossed!) Also, [To Catch an Unsub] which I have decided to finish after leaving it on a cliffhanger since 2015!

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

[Answered Here]

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Tara/Rebecca!!! I have [two] [short little fics] for them already but as we get to know their relationship more, I will be writing more for them.

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

2,674 kudos!!

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Sort of? I wrote the third and final instalment of [A Journey Through the Silent Chasm], which already had one part by me and one part by Phoenix_Falls (PLEASE CHECK TAGS BEFORE READING)

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

Yes! I received three gifts from Bow_is_best_boi aka @darcyfangirlsfrequently <3

27. What do you listen to while writing?

For longer fics, I have a playlist for each pairing! [Jemily Jams] || [Temily Tunes] || [Jara Jukebox] || [Fooled Around Soundtrack]

For one-shots I usually listen to one song on repeat. All of those songs are on this playlist: [w00t4ewan CM Fic Titles]

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? Oh man, oh man, oh man. Let's see if I can narrow it down to top five? I wrote 51 works so far this year. It's hard to pick just ONE! (Welp, this post is about to become mature content lmao)

"And when JJ flooded the sheets with Tara's head between her thighs, the noise that tore from her mouth was the single most perfect sound that had ever graced Tara's ears; an uneven, guttural wail of ecstasy that seemed like it had been building in JJ's throat for seven long months, just waiting for Tara, and only Tara, to coax it out of her." [Between You & Me - JJ/Tara]

"It started in Paris, which sounded about as romantic and cliché as the start of any romantic story, but this wasn't just any story, this was their story. Over the years, Emily and JJ had choreographed an intricate, heart-breaking, dance of wilful ignorance created from the constant push and pull of their relationship. Each time Emily took one step forward, JJ took one step back and vice versa, step for step, they gravitated towards each other, while never quite being able to connect. It often seemed like they would never be dancing to the same beat, always one move out of sync with each other, until JJ took a leap of faith and just like any great dance partner, Emily was there to catch her." [If I Met You in Five Years - JJ/Emily]

“You’re parts!” JJ yelled from behind, as she approached Emily. Emily spun around when she heard JJ’s voice, she was exhausted and really just wanted to get home. She shook her head at JJ,  “What?” JJ had closed the distance now, she came to rest just a foot way from Emily. “You’re right. You’re right that there are parts of this job I can’t take home. You’re parts. You have always been the part of my job that I couldn’t take home, Emily. Or rather, you have always been the part of my job that I was too afraid to take home.” [Mercy - JJ/Emily]

"JJ never did get to see Paris, but all of the memories they made held more reverence than the entirety of the Louvre. Emily’s eyes were more dazzling than the lights on the Eiffel Tower. Their love felt older than the catacombs beneath the city. Emily’s body was far more hallowed than the pilgrimage up the stairs of Montmatre. For all intensive purposes, JJ had experienced Paris in the most authentic way possible." [Is There Somewhere - JJ/Emily]

After a while, Tara and Garcia saw a lull in the line at the bar and made a break for it. Tara had to pull JJ away from her new friend so she could join Garcia at the bar. Emily had gone to the bathroom but returned with a perplexed look. "What's wrong?" Tara asked her wife. "A drunk woman in the bathroom said she loves my grey hair and said I'm a total 'milk'? What does that mean?" Emily asked Garcia, figuring Garcia would be up to date on slang.  "Oh god. Emily, she probably called you a MILF," Garcia corrected, cackling. "It means Mom I'd Like to Fuck." "But I don't have kids," Emily replied.  "I have kids! What'd she look like Emily?" JJ asked excitedly.  "JJ, NO!" Garcia yelled. [HEATED - Tara/Emily]

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!! It's been so incredible to come back to writing fanfic for this fandom. I've been blown away by the amount of support from everyone. Find all my works on AO3: [w00t4ewan]

[legacyshenanigans]

Before I carry on with my regularly scheduled content, I wanted to do a post about one of my old jobs haha. Years ago I used to be a cleaner in a gambling hall in the small town I grew up in, and I swear to god I didn't get paid NEARLY enough to deal with the disgusting stuff I had to deal with. 🤣 most of folk that would come to the hall regularly were honestly VERMIN lmao. Yet they'd treat US like WE were the vermin, and I absolutely HATED my time there, but at that time I had no choice. It was horrible place to work. Here is a list of some GROSS things I remember from working there 🤣🤣

1. There was a number of toilets around the place, and quite often some of the toilets would be out of order, yet some of the customers were SO FUCKIN LAZY and couldn't be bothered walking to a WORKING toilet that they would just ignore the OUT OF ORDER signs on a toilet door and use it anyway and would have a shit, which, you guessed it, I would then have to deal with 🙃

2. There was a time I got into an argument with a woman. The place was quiet one day, REALLY quiet, I had JUST cleaned one of the toilets, And some regular alcoholic woman then went into that toilet a couple of minutes after I'd cleaned it, I saw her go in there, and then saw her come out like a minute later, and she clicks her fingers at me and says "Someone has had a shit on the floor in that toilet, and then smeared it all over the wall, it's disgusting!" So I looked at this fucking woman and I said "I have JUST cleaned that toilet..And you are the only person who's been in there since I've cleaned it..If I go in there and there's shit on the floor and walls, YOU are the one who just did it" and we had a HUGE argument in the middle of the hall 🤣🤣

3. The mens toilets were disgusting, but the women's were always worse believe it or not, women would stick their used fuckin jam rags to the toilet seats, or the toilet doors, or the toilet walls, even though we had sanitary bins in there. Which I then had to PEEL off peoples used pads and dispose of, also used tampons that would get thrown onto the floor or against walls..

4. In the men's toilets, it was a very regular occurrence that someone would pour the chemical cleaning liquid out of the toilet brush holders and piss into them, then put the toilet brush back into their piss..

5. I would often find drug related things in the toilets, Spoons, lighters, needles ect.

6. Used condoms were also a very regular occurrence in the toilets. I once even found a tied condom that had a plum in it and had shit on it, so I can only assume someone had shoved a plum in a condom up their asshole then took it out at the gambling hall for some fuckin weird reason lmao.

7. Shitty and pissy underwear left on the floors of the toilets was also another extremely regular occurrence in both the men's and womans toilets.

8. A woman on a mobility scooter once tried to fuckin run me over because she screamed at me and told me one of the gambling machines owed her money and I told her I was just a cleaner and didn't have the keys for the machines and told her to go and find another memeber of staff. 🤣

9. One time I went out to the back area to go to the skip room to dispose of some bin bags, and there was a woman having a shit in the doorway of the establishment...Which I had to clean up..

10. One time someone had taken a shit SO BIG that it wouldn't flush, and guess who had to go in there with a fucking stick and break it up..

11. I had some man ask me for a lighter, and I gave him my lighter to use, and when I went to hand it to him, he grabbed my hand and bit me, istg 🤣

12. I was in the men's toilets cleaning in there one day, with a sign on the door to say it was being cleaned, but some guy came in as I was cleaning the urinals and whipped out his cock and waggled it at me while laughing. 🙃

There's so many more things. Honestly. But there just a few...Thats why I fucking hated my job lmao.

The police were ALWAYS getting called because some fucked up thing would happen there on the reg, can't lie though, working there hardened me 🤣

[heytherejulietx]

movie night - stanley uris

↳ a/n - just a little drabble i typed out because i was bored and couldn’t stop thinking of fluffy fluffy stanley <3

↳ content warnings - swearing, aged up losers. that’s it this fic is just pure fluff lmao

↳ 1.2k word count

masterlists

@bucky-j-barnes @whaddyam3an @justanotherkpopstanlol join my tag list

movie nights at bill’s house always went the same; richie would commentate through the whole movie, and would switch seats multiple times because he couldn’t sit still. bev would throw popcorn at richie when he wouldn’t shut up. eddie would insist to sit as far from richie as possible to avoid the popcorn war, which usually ended up with him sat beside bill or mike. and y/n would have to endure more or less than two hours sat beside stanley. it wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy sitting beside him - she loved being near him, but that was the problem. sat beside the boy you’re crushing on and having to resist looking at them was basically torture.

stan and y/n had always been close - they were best friends way before the losers club was even a thing, so between them they had years of friendship before the group. whatever they did, y/n and stan would always end up doing it together. at the fair? they’d go on the rides together. at the cinema? they’d sit next to each other. so at bills for movie night they shared the love seat for the movie.

richie’s night to pick was always the worst, because it guaranteed him to talk even more than usual since it was a movie he enjoyed. y/n couldn’t be mad that he spoke through the movie, she knew her friend well enough to know that he simply couldn’t help it. it just made it even harder to focus on the movie.

though it seemed almost impossible to focus on the movie anyways, because all y/n wanted to do was sleep. she had been staying up later than usual all week to study for a test, so the fact that she’d had five hours of sleep in two days accompanied with sitting on a very comfy sofa pressed against her crush best friend just guaranteed that she’d be fighting sleep the whole movie.

“gremlins!” richie stood in front of the tv set as he loudly announced his movie choice for the night, waving the vhs case in front of all the losers as he grinned.

“isn’t that a christmas movie?” eddie piped up, and richie rolled his eyes.

“yeah, tiny little monsters running around and terrorising everybody. how festive.”

“it’s set at christmas you fuckin’ moron.”

as richie and eddie started bickering y/n rolled her eyes and tucked her legs underneath her thighs to get more comfortable, her back pressed against the sofa cushions. the movie hadn’t even started and she could have fallen asleep. she rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palms and sighed, thankful that it was probably only two hours until she could be in bed asleep. provided richie and eddie didn’t argue for much longer.

“now’s the time i get to say ‘i told you so’, right?” stan’s voice made her look up as the loveseat dipped beside her and she sighed, rolling her eyes.

“be my guest, asshole.” she mumbled with a playful punch to his arm and he chuckled.

stanley leaned back into the sofa with his legs stretched out in front of him, and slung his arm around the back of the sofa right behind her. it was something he always had done so she never questioned it. he had a bowl of popcorn sat in his lap that bev was already reaching up to steal from her seat on the floor. y/n reached for a few pieces of popcorn herself as she leaned her head back against the sofa, turning her attention to the tv as richie had stopped bickering with eddie to load up the vhs tape.

the movie started playing and all that y/n could focus on was not falling asleep. for once she barely noticed richie’s commentary of the movie which progressed into bickering with eddie, she barely even noticed anything other than the way her eyelids had grown too heavy and the couch was so comfortable that she could drift off right there. her head was nodding as her eyes dropped shut, and in her half-coherent state she realised her head had fallen against something comfortable. sleepily she smiled slightly and leaned further into the soft material, and relaxed completely against what she was leaning against as she started drifting off to sleep.

she accidentally slept through the entire movie. when her eyelids fluttered open again the credits were rolling (she couldn’t make out the words because everything was a little blurry, but she could see the white lines scrolling against a black background and took an educated guess). she could hear richie arguing with eddie not surprisingly about one thing or another behind the sofa. glancing up she saw bev still sat on the floor, though ben sat beside her that time. bill was sat on the other sofa with mike at his side. where was stan?

y/n realised exactly where he was when she felt an arm tighten ever so subtly around her waist, and her eyes widened as her cheeks flushed pink when she figured out that she had been sleeping against stanley’s shoulder. she glanced down at herself and noticed that a blanket had been draped over her body, too, and couldn’t help but smile softly to herself. stan was comfortable. his sweater made his shoulder soft to lean against, and when she inhaled she could smell his comforting scent of cinnamon and vanilla. she almost wanted to pretend like she hadn’t woken up to spend more time with stan like that. though y/n knew that she would have to be home soon, and she really had to get some proper sleep in her bed. so reluctantly y/n sat up from his shoulder with a yawn and stretched out a little. laying in such a weird poison left her neck feeling funny, and she winced as she tried to stretch it out.

“hey,” stan was smiling softly when she glanced up at him, a look that she couldn’t quite decipher the meaning behind other than knowing that he was happy. “you fell asleep and i didn’t want to wake you. i know you haven’t really been sleeping well, and you looked so peaceful…” he trailed off with a sheepish smile, and y/n gave him a somewhat bashful one in return.

“thank you, i’m sorry for falling asleep on you.” she shook her head a little embarrassed, secretly still joyed over the soft moment.

before stan could respond richie had come back in front of the sofa and started complaining that y/n had missed the movie, though she wasn’t really listening. a small smile was still painted over her lips at the thought of how warm stan was and how nice it felt to be pressed against him.

the next time they had a movie night, stanley and y/n took the loveseat again. they watched labyrinth per bev’s request. y/n leaned against stan again with his arm around her waist, though that time she was fully awake.

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Thursday (Part 1)

Monday     Tuesday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, homophobia (f slurs and d slur), panic attacks, toxic friends, mentions of attempted suicide/getting told to kill yourself

Word count: 6,377

(A/N): ok, so I definitely got carried away with this, so I had to split Thursday into two parts. If I kept it in one part, it’d probs be like 10k-11k words long lmao

You woke up feeling strangely more refreshed than usual. Glancing at your clock, you saw that you actually woke up about thirty minutes before your alarm went off. You got a whopping twelve hours of sleep, a stark contrast from your recent sleep schedule consisting of no more than four hours a night. You felt like you could rule the world with how much energy you had. Sure, you felt anxiety pooling in your stomach like you usually did and you had a terrible dream about Haley rejecting you and getting completely outed to the entire school, but that did not stop you from throwing your covers off your bed and walking down the hall to the kitchen with the most confidence you’ve had since starting high school.

When you got to the kitchen, you saw a dead looking Uncle Schlatt slumped at the table chugging coffee and a chipper Philza trying to make conversation. Usually, you would’ve joined Schlatt in being dead inside, but today was different. You were filled to the brim with energy that you haven’t had in years. As you walked through the door, their heads turned towards you.

“Mornin Dad, mornin Uncle Schlatt!”

Your uncle merely grunted before going back to guzzling down his coffee. Your dad smiled at you, “well, looks like someone’s well rested.”

“Yeah, I got like twelve hours of sleep last night.”

“Glad to hear it, hun. You really needed it.”

“Glad to hear someone’s feeling well rested,” your uncle grumbled into his coffee. 

“Schlatt, don’t be such a downer all the time,” Philza rolled his eyes at your uncle. 

“Fuck you Phil, I’m a ball of fuckin sunshine. Ain’t that right, sweetheart?” 

“Yeah, Dad, I don’t know what you’re talkin about. Uncle Schlatt’s the heart and soul of this house. Even if he doesn’t live here.”

Schlatt gave a booming laugh, “suck it Phil. And that, (y/n), is why you’re my favorite niece.”

“At least I’m someone’s- wait. I’m your only niece.”

“Still my favorite niece!”

You grinned happily, that was better than nothing. “Love ya, Uncle Schlatt!”

Your uncle’s cocky grin turned more sincere and he diverted his full attention to you, “love ya too, kid.”

“Love each other quieter, you woke me up.” Wilbur’s tired voice complained as he walked into the room and slumped into his chair next to Schlatt. Schlatt clapped a hand onto his shoulder and rustled his hair.

“My man! How’s Sally, huh?”

Wilbur flushed red and started sputtering as Philza turned his confused gaze to his son. “Who’s Sally, Wilbur?”

You couldn’t leave your brother high and dry when he accepted you for being yourself so readily yesterday, so you quickly jumped in for him. “Sally’s just one of his friends at school. They’re job shadowing together for their project. Right, Wilbur?” You turned towards the flustered man with a somewhat forced smile and raised eyebrows. He looked at you with immense relief and nodded vigorously, his hair flopping onto his forehead. 

“Yes! We’re planning on job shadowing our band director, he said that it’d be a good idea if we want to major in music.” 

“Oh, why didn’t you tell me about her before! You should invite her over for dinner, I’d love to meet her!” Oh, your dad did not buy your terrible excuse for Wilbur, that man is like a bloodhound when it comes to sniffing out lies. Poor, poor Wilbur. 

Despite the blush remaining on his cheeks, Wilbur seemed to think that Philza actually bought his weak excuse. “I’ll invite her over soon. Does Friday night next week work?”

Philza grinned cheekily, “yes! I can’t believe you haven’t brought her over sooner if you’re close enough to job shadow with her!”

At this point, Schlatt’s face was cherry red with his almost failed attempt to hold in his laughter. “I’m not missin this. Me an’ Tubbs are comin over next Friday.” 

Wilbur still hasn’t noticed that they hadn’t bought it, you thought he was more perceptive than that. Eventually, Philza started to make breakfast and conversation lulled into a comfortable silence as everybody waited for Techno, Tommy, and Tubbo. Deciding to pull out your phone, you scrolled through your notifi- wait. Why did you have forty-two messages from Adrian and Sammy? Why did they make a groupchat with everyone except Annie? Furrowing your brows in confusion, you opened the group chat. What you read made your breathing catch in your chest and your skin blanch, it wasn’t a dream. Everything was real.

Sammy <3

(y/n) you fucking pervert

How could you do this to us????

Adrian <3

We’ve given you everything and yet you’re still a disgusting person. 

Fucking faggot

We thought we could fix you, but you’re broken

You’re always going to be

Sammy <3

And now, you’re gonna go to hell with all the other dykes and fairies.

It’ll probably be heaven for you, surrounded by perverts like yourself

You’re staying far away from Annie

Adrian <3

You’ve put her through so much shit and now this

We swear to god if you talk to her again we’re gonna make you wish you would’ve gone through with killing yourself freshman year

We’re leaking the pictures slut

You felt your anxiety melt away into betrayal. So they were yours and Haley’s stalkers? How dare they try to leak Haley’s pictures. They could leak yours, you didn’t give a shit if yours were leaked. You could learn to live with it, you always did after all the shit you put yourself through throughout the years, but Haley’s? She didn’t do anything. Even if her rejection was painful, you still deeply cared for her. She didn’t deserve that. You, however, did for not being normal. For making people around you uncomfortable with your presence. 

(Y/n)

That was you guys?????

Why the fuck would you do that

I trusted you 

All of you

Sammy <3

We trusted you too dyke

But you’re a two-faced bitch

And to think we actually thought you were our friend

Were you only friends with Ann and I so you could get into our pants?

I’m disgusted

You’re a fucking pervert.

Adrian <3

We shouldn’t have talked you out of suicide freshman year

You fucking deserve it

Make Annie’s life easier and just swan dive off a roof

You’ll be doing everyone a favor

(Y/n)

Listen, I don’t care if you leak my pictures.

Just don’t leak Haley’s

She has no part in this

I’ll leave you guys alone if you delete Haley’s pictures

Hell, I’ll do anything for you if you could release them after the final volleyball match today

It’s Haley’s time to shine and she deserves the attention as team captain

She’s worked so hard to get there all of high school and leaking my nudes would take the attention away from her

Let her have her moment

Sammy <3

For once she has a point

She probably manipulated the poor girl

Who knows what the fag would’ve done to her if we didn’t expose her

Adrian <3

Fine, we’ll delete Haley’s pictures and we’ll wait until after the game

But we’re leaking yours

You deserve it for what you did to Annie and Haley

“Kid, are you okay? You’re kinda pale over there buddy.”

Looking up from your phone, you saw everybody’s eyes on you. They each looked concerned, but Wilbur even more so. He was the only one in the room at the moment that knew about your panic attacks. He stood up from his spot and walked over to you with long strides.

“She just remembered the homework in stats that we forgot about. Techno asked us in the group chat about it, we were just about to go and see if he could help us.” 

“But Wilbur, I thought you took statistics last year.”

“No, that was algebra two, I’m taking stats this year,” that was a lie, he was in pre-calculus this year. “C’mon (y/n), lets go finish that assignment.” 

He grabbed your shoulder and hauled you into a stand before grabbing your hand and practically dragging you up the stairs and into Techno’s room. Said pink-haired teenager looked up angrily. “What’d I say about kno- (y/n)?”

Wilbur closed the door and locked it behind him. He dragged you over to Techno’s bed and sat you down on the edge before kneeling down to look you in the eyes.

“(Y/n), can I touch you? Is that alright?”

After you shakily nodded, he grabbed your hand and placed it over his chest. “Breathe with me.” Like yesterday, you tried to copy his movements, but it wasn’t working. Your panic attack was just getting worse by the minute. Techno pushed Wilbur aside and took his place kneeling in front of you and grabbing your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“(Y/n), can you tell me five things you can see around the room?”

When you didn’t move your wide eyes away from Techno’s face, he frowned and gently squeezed your hand. “You can get through this. What’re five things you can see around the room?”

You reluctantly tore your eyes away from his face and peered around the room. You hadn’t noticed that your blurred vision had tunneled until you realized that you couldn’t see anything in your peripheral vision. Your unseeing eyes flicked around the room. 

You tried to swallow, but you couldn’t do anything through the lump in your throat. With a shaky voice, you gasped out “I-I can’t breathe. I-”

“Deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Follow me.”

You tried to breathe with him, and you eventually got to the point where you could speak. Your eyes flicked around the room once again and slowly recognized your surroundings. 

“You… Wilbur… Desk… Window…”

“That’s good, just one more.”

Your eyes flicked around the room, “...Book.”

“Look back at me, you’re doing so good,” when you looked back at him, he had a small smile on his face. “Nice job. Now, four things you can feel. Can you do that for me?”

You shakily nodded and looked at your hands and around your surroundings. “Bed… Pants… You… Carpet.”

“Three things you can hear?”

“You… Birds… Breathing.”

“You’re almost there, I’m so proud of you. Two things you can smell?”

“Toast and… and burning?”

Despite his confusion about the sudden burning smell, he continued to smile at you. “Good, last one. One thing you can taste?”

You licked your lips before scrunching your nose slightly, “...snot.”

“Wilbur, can you go get her a few kleenexes and a glass of water?” Techno asked his brother without taking his eyes off you.

Wordlessly, he swiftly left the room. “Are you feeling better?”

You panted as you reached up to rub at your teary eyes, “yeah, how’d you know what to do?”

His smile turned slightly bashful, “I did some research last night. I’m glad I did, that was a bad panic attack. Can I- can I ask what caused it?”

You pulled out your phone and handed it to him, letting him scroll through the messages while you brought up your knees to your chest and rested your chin on your knees. You felt tired after that attack, however you had a little bit more energy than you usually did. Only a little bit more. It was probably because you slept for half the day and through the night yesterday. You watched your brother scroll through your texts with tired eyes. 

He was emotionless as he scrolled, making you somewhat scared about what his reaction would be. He probably hasn’t gotten to the whole “go kill yourself” or the stalking parts. Judging by his set jaw and labored breathing, he was pissed already and he didn’t even get to the bad parts yet.

In the middle of his scrolling, Wilbur came back with a box of tissues, a glass of water, and a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast. When you hardly moved to grab them, he sat on the bed beside you and handed you a tissue. After cleaning up, you took the glass of water and started to slowly sip at it. “Thanks, Wil.” 

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close to him. When he looked over Techno’s shoulder at your phone, you saw his eyebrows furrow. “Tech, what’s-”

He was interrupted as Techno shoved your phone into his hands and stood up to start pacing around his room. “Read it yourself.” He sounded more monotone than usual. He was absolutely furious.

You watched Wilbur’s face as he read through your messages. Unlike Technoblade, he looked furious. His eyes were set ablaze as his entire face turned an angry red. “(Y/n), what the absolute fuck? Why didn’t you tell us this was happening?”

Shrinking in on yourself and pulling your knees closer to your chest, you murmured out a small “sorry.” You saw him quickly turn his head to you as his face softened. He pulled you into a full hug.

“This isn’t your fault. None of it is, it’s all their fault,” he spat with disgust. “How’d they even get your nudes? Did you send them to anyone?”

You leaned your head against his shoulder, “that’s the thing, Wil. I’ve never taken nudes before. They took them through my window. I deserve it.”

You felt him freeze up and heard Techno pause his pacing to stomp over to you. He tore Wilbur’s arms off from you and held you out at arms length by your shoulders. He looked the most angry than you’ve ever seen him with his furious eyes burning into your own and his mouth set in a firm frown. It was terrifying to see him that angry.

“(Y/n), you don’t deserve a single fucking thing that’s happened to you. You were manipulated and gaslit by a group of self righteous assholes. You. Do. Not. Deserve. Anything. That. Happened. To. You. Do you understand me?” 

Despite your fears of him, you were determined to protect your friends. “But I do deserve it though. I was a bad friend to them. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t be a good friend to them when they were always helping me. I’m just not a good person in general. I deserve it for not being normal.”

“(Y/n)-”

“Technoblade, that’s enough.” Wilbur cut him off with a firm tone, putting a comforting hand on your arm.

“No it isn’t Wilbur. It’s not enough until she realizes how fucking toxic they are. What they’re doing is gaslighting. You’re in a psychology class, you should know what that is. Give me the definition of it. Now.”

“It’s when someone manipulates another person for their own personal gain… I’d know if I’m being gaslit, and I’m not. They’re just telling me the truth, they keep me in check. I could put more effort into my appearance and personality. I could stand to lose a couple of pounds.” “How do you not- ya know what? Listen. Just listen. That’s the definition of being gaslit. They’re constantly putting you down and making you self conscious about every. Little. Thing because they need to put someone down to fuel their own damaged egos and they laugh at you when you show that you’re hurt by their comments. That’s not a healthy friendship, (y/n). It’s toxic. 

“Real friends would never, and I mean never, do that to you. Real friends would never tell you that you looked like shit when you’re as beautiful as Aphrodite. Real friends would never out you to the entire school when you weren’t ready. Real friends would never tell you to lose weight because they wouldn’t care about what you look like. Real friends care about your well being and they look out for you. They love you for you.”

You fell silent as you contemplated his words. Were they really that toxic? You were planning on being a psychology major in college, so why didn’t you notice that they were actually always against you? You learned in your class that manipulative people are naturally cunning and sneaky, but you couldn’t help but feel stupid. You thought that they were helping you when they were clearly toxic. It was right under your nose and you didn’t even see the signs. What kind of psychology student were you if you couldn’t recognize the obvious signs of manipulation? 

On one hand, you were filled with betrayal. But on the other hand, you felt molten hot anger overwhelm and swirl around your entire body like a cyclone absolutely decimating everything in its path with its violent winds hurling in a blind rage anything and everything without a care of the outcome. You felt the burning hatred of a thousand suns rise up from deep within your being, filling you with a hatred that you didn’t know you were capable of. 

They fucked up your entire life, not you. They were the ones with the ugly personalities, not you. They were the ones that needed to improve themselves, not you. They were bad friends, not you. They laughed at the pain they brought upon you purposefully. They completely humiliated you. They betrayed your trust. They took pictures of you without your consent. They fucked up your relationship with Haley. They violated Haley. They fucking stole her dignity from her with those disgusting pictures they took of her. They were truly vile creatures undeserving of any mercy. Not that you were actually considering being merciful, that would be too good for them. They deserved everything you were going to throw at them. You were going to rise like a phoenix from the ashes of your past self. 

You felt yourself practically vibrate with fury as you held Technoblade’s intense gaze with one of your own. “Those bastards fucking used me for years. Literal years and I thought they were there for me,” you gave a sardonic laugh, your voice shaking with anger. “I-I’m gonna fuckin kill them the next time I see their sorry asses. Make them feel what it’s like to get tossed out of a car. Make them feel what it’s like to constantly get beaten down.”

Techno’s hands gripped your shoulders in a vice grip as his eyes sparked with a crazed delight and he grinned widely at you, “that’s the spirit! You’re gonna rain hellfire upon them, beat their asses (y/n)! Fuck em up! FUCK! EM! UP!”

Wilbur, always thinking about potential consequences and the voice of reason, spoke up with hesitance. “As much as I love that you’re finally realizing that they’re toxic as hell and want revenge, you’d have to wait at least until tomorrow. If you did it today, you wouldn’t be allowed to go to finals. Besides, I don’t think that you should even fight them. You would be out- wait. They’re the ones that opened the car door and fucked up your back?” Seeing you nod, his face darkened in anger. “...(Y/n), you’re gonna fuck em up as soon as you can tomorrow. We’ll back you up if they try to gang up on you, we aren’t eighteen yet, so it’s still legal. ”

“YES, SUCCUMB TO THE ANARCHY! WE’RE GONNA FUCK EM UP!”

“YOU ARE NOT FUCKING ANYONE UP ANYTIME SOON, TECHNOBLADE.” Philza’s voice boomed from behind the closed door. Said door swung open to reveal your father’s angry form and your uncle’s intrigued, slightly proud form.

You three stared at the two for a while with gaping mouths, your previous intensity substantially diminuendos into a quiet shock. No one fucks with an angry Dadza. Techno was the quickest to get over the shock. “...How long were you standing there?”

Your father sneered. “Well, long enough to hear that you three are going to fight someone! Why the hell would you do that?” 

Your brothers looked at you in a silent question. Shaking your head, you answered in a small voice, “there’s just some people messing with me at school. They were just worried about me. We weren’t gonna actually fight someone, they were just talking about how it’d be nice to get some revenge for me. I was just about to tell them that I could handle myself and we didn’t need to fight.”

Immediately, your dad’s stiff stance relaxed slightly as his eyes pierced into your own, searching them to see if you’re lying to him or not. You felt a cold sweat drip down the back of your head at the intensity of his gaze, you hated when he did that. It always made you feel like he was staring right at your soul. Eventually, his gaze softened.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you through it.”

“I didn’t want to bother you. Plus, it’s nothing I can’t handle by myself.”

“But you looked really panicked earlier hun. Are you sure you can-”

“I just forgot about my stats homework until this morning and I thought I wouldn’t be able to get it done in time, but I did! No worries,” you spoke a little faster than usual. You prayed that he wouldn’t see through your lie. 

“...Alright. Just let me know if it gets to be too much for you and I can talk with your principal about it. Now go eat something and get ready, you only have,” he glanced at the clock on the wall, “an hour before you have to be at school. Hurry up or you’re going to be late.”

Your dad turned around and walked down the hallway away from the room. Schlatt, however, loomed in the doorway for a while before he came into the room and closed the door behind him. You three watched him warily as he eyed you and your brothers.

“...Ya know, I approve,” after seeing your confused looks, he chuckled and spoke again. “I approve of you three fuckin em up. I heard part of your conversation, and those snot nosed brats deserve it for what they did to my favorite niece.”

You three stared at him with shock, making him laugh at you. “Close your mouths, you’re gonna catch flies.” He paused for a second before leaning towards you and whispering “now, you didn’t hear it from me, but the key to a good punch is following through with it. Don’t hesitate. Don’t tuck your thumb in, that’ll break it. Make sure you center your hit on your index and middle fingers, they are the strongest points of the hand. If you need to, go for the eyes, nose, and groin.”

“I-thank you Uncle Schlatt. I really appreciate it. Just- please don’t tell dad?”

“Of course not! I mean, if you don’t fuck em up enough I will. (Y/n), when you’re done, I want details.”

You saluted sarcastically, “yessir, will do!”

He gave a boisterous laugh, “you better. Now go get ready.” 

As he was about to walk out of the room, he suddenly paused and his hand shot to his pants pocket. He pulled something out before putting it into your hand and turning again to walk out of the room. “This is from Tubbo and Tommy. They were worried about you.” In your hand laid three of your favorite candies. You felt your heart swell at their innocent, caring natures. They were honestly some of the sweetest kids you’ve ever met. 

“Well boys, you get first pics!” You held out the candy to them.

Wilbur looked at you with knitted eyebrows, “but they gave those to you.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten through that panic attack without you guys helping me, so take this as a temporary thank you.” You watched as they glanced at each other before reaching out to grab a piece of candy.

“Alright, I’m gonna go get ready, you guys can take the bathroom before me. Love you guys!”

You went into your room and made sure your curtains were closed before turning to your closet. Humming in thought, you picked out a white button up and the nicest sweater you owned. You put on the collared button up then slipped the sweater on over it so that the collar poked out of the neck. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, feeling more confident in yourself than you’ve felt since you started hanging out with them. Fuck them, they always lied to you. You looked great in anything you put on. You felt elated and basked in the spectacular feeling of being able to like what you wore. 

While you waited for your brothers to leave the bathroom, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through your contacts before you stopped on one: Haley’s. The girl that stole your heart and relentlessly stomped on it until it was a red puddle at her feet. Despite the pain, you still loved her. She was your everything. Your thumb hovered over her icon, contemplating on texting her. You had to tell her that she didn’t have to worry about her pictures anymore. 

(Y/n)

Haley

I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I have good news

You don’t have to worry about your pics anymore

I took care of it.

You don’t have to reply to this

Just know that I took care of it and you don’t have to worry about it anymore.

You sat on your bed staring at your phone screen waiting for her to open your messages. You stared at the ‘delivered’ icon at the bottom of your message, waiting for it to say ‘read’. You stared for about ten minutes before you gave up, putting your phone in your pocket and standing up with a sigh. She would see it eventually. Just as you reached your door, you felt a vibration in your pocket. You whipped out your phone and smiled at Haley’s face on your screen. She was calling you. 

Taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, you clicked the answer button, “hey Hales.”

“(Y/n), what’d you do?”

“I took care of it. That’s all you have to know.”

“I think I should know more. What’d you do?”

You paused for a moment before you hesitantly said, “I asked them to delete your pictures and they have to, it’s part of our deal.”

“...You found out who they were?”

“Yeah, but that’s not important. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“(Y/n), don’t tell me what to worry about. Who are they?”

“...Fine, it was Adrian Schnieder, Annie Lockhart, and Sammy McConnor. Ya know, you’re scary when you’re mad Hales. Remind me not to get on your bad side again.”

“It was them? You hang out around them all the time, I thought you were good friends. Why would they do that?”

Even though she couldn’t see you, you shrugged. “I dunno. I think they were just jealous. They’re assholes and I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it a lot sooner. I’m sorry they put you through that, you didn’t deserve what they did to you.”

“God (y/n),” she sighed out, you imagined that she was running a hand through her hair. “I can’t imagine how much that hurt you. You four were really close.”

“I know, but it was a long time coming. Like I said, I should’ve noticed that it was them. They’ve always been toxic as hell.”

“How’d you find out? What happened?”

“Did you hear about what they did to me yesterday?”

“Should I? If you’re not comfortable talking about it, that’s totally okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re gonna hear about it eventually, shit spreads like wildfire at Klinkver. Long story short, they outed me to the entire school and thought that I was only friends with them to get in their pants. They basically told me to kill myself,” you added nonchalantly. “But that’s not the important part about this. They told me that they were the people that took those pictures of you.”

“...(Y/n), how could you say that’s not important! They fucked up your life and all you care about is my pictures? What’d they say they’d do with yours?”

“I asked them to not leak them until after the match tonight so you could have the spotlight. You deserve it after all the hard work you’ve put in to get team captain. Zuri was hard to beat and you deserve the recognition for that.”

You heard her take a deep breath through her nose, “(y/n), for once in your life care about yourself over others. You’re gonna be exposed to the entire school and it bothers me that you’re being so nonchalant about that.”

“They’ve put me through worse. Besides,” you wove a hand in the air, “it’ll all blow over sooner or later when another person gets their nudes leaked. You remember how fast people forgot about Marlene’s nudes when May’s got leaked like a week later.”

“Still, it’s degrading to have people see you like that. No matter how fast they get over it, it doesn’t change the fact that they’ve seen you. You can’t come back from that sweetheart.”

You felt your heart skip a beat at the nickname. Even if she called almost everybody that, you felt special. “I don’t care if people see my boobs, it wasn’t even a clear picture anyways. It was hella blurry.”

Your door swung open for the second time today. There stood Tommy, his eyes peering innocently at you. “Dad wanted me to tell you to hurry up.”

You smiled at him, “thank you buddy. Let him know I’ll be down in a minute. Oh, and thank you for the candy, it really made me happy.”

He beamed brightly before he sprinted down the stairs. “Was that Tommy? Is he gonna be at the match tonight?”

“Of course, he and Tubbo are our team’s mascots after all. They would never miss a game, especially our final match.”

“I can’t wait to see them, but we need to talk about this. It’s more serious than you paint it as. How are you not pissed at those dumbasses? You trusted them and they betrayed you.”

“Oh, believe me I’m furious. Heh, I’m actually kinda shaking right now because of how pissed I am. But for now, I’m just gonna imagine their faces on the ball so I can keep my mind off them until tomorrow.”

“...Please don’t tell me you’re gonna do something stupid tomorrow.”

“I wouldn’t call it stupid per se, they deserve it for what they put you through. It’s more getting justice than being stupid.”

“(Y/n), I swear to god if you start a fight just to get back at them for me, I’m gonna slap you. Think about yourself every once and a while, they put you through so much. If you feel comfortable, you’re gonna tell me everything they did to you tonight on the bus coming home.”

“So we’re gonna sit together?” You tried and failed to stomp the hopeful tone from your voice.

Her laugh sounded angelic in your ear, “of course we are silly, you’re my best friend. I gotta go, my dad’s calling me. I’ll talk to you later!”

“See ya!” When you hung up, you danced around your room with joy. You- no, they- didn’t ruin your friendship with Haley after all! Oh, you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest with joy. Even if she didn’t like you like you adored her, you still cherished your friendship. Looking back, Haley and the team always had your back, they genuinely cared about you. They were perhaps the only ones you would fully trust in the future. 

“(Y/N), HURRY UP YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE!” Tommy’s voice outside your door shook you from your happy dance. “Coming!”

You ran to the bathroom and hastily went through your routine. Despite your rushing, you tried your best to look presentable. You were going to prove those snakes wrong, you were beautiful no matter what you wore or how you looked.

After running down the stairs with your bag, your dad stopped you before you could run out the door with your keys. “You look nice today hun.”

“Thanks Dad, I just wanted to dress up a bit for finals today. I’m honestly really pumped to play tonight.”

“That’s good,” he smiled at you before pulling you into a quick hug. “Just take it easy today, you need to save your energy for the match tonight... Listen, I don’t know what happened to you this morning and I don’t know exactly what’s going on in your life right now, but just know that I’m always gonna be here for you. Whether you need help with homework, advice, or if you want me to beat up someone else’s dad for you,” he chuckled, “I’ll do it.” 

You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, happy with the contact. You two stood in the hall for a moment before he pulled away and told you to leave for school. 

The drive to the school was uneventful with your brothers mainly holding up the conversation. As you pulled into the parking lot, you realized that you needed to catch up on two full days of stats homework.

“Hey Tech?” He hummed, looking over to you.

“Sorry, but would I be able to maybe copy your stats notes from Tuesday?”

“Yeah, I’ll give em to you so you can copy it before school starts. We’d have to go to Mr. Mullins for yesterday’s notes though. We can just ask him about it before school starts.”

As you pulled into a space and moved to leave the car, a hand stopped you. “(Y/n), if any of those two-faced bitches bother you at all, let us know. Don’t deal with this on your own, we’re here for you,” Wilbur said genuinely.

“Yeah, if they say anything bad about you, it’s on sight.”

You laughed, “thanks guys, I’ll let you guys know if they do anything. We gotta get going though if Tech and I wanna get those notes done.”

In the school, you and Techno successfully got your notes done before the first bell rang. The rest of class went by without a hitch with you actually somewhat understanding mostly everything being taught. You even got a question right when you were called on! Turns out not feeling weighed down by toxic people helps a lot with concentration.

The only block you were dreading was the second block. You were sure that if you even glanced at Annie and Adrian, you’d go apeshit on them. Luckily for them, they didn’t show up to class today. They were probably comforting Annie after you “manipulated” her, you thought with an eye roll. Today was just another work day, so you pulled out your laptop and opened Google Docs. You saw Annie’s and Adrian’s unfinished and you were slapped in the face with inspiration. 

They were still expecting you to finish their essays, so you were gonna finish them alright. You were going to completely rewrite their essays all about how they were terrible homophobes and how LGBT+ people are always facing some form of discrimination amongst their peers, complete with attached screenshots of them calling you slurs over text. You’d even write a little note at the beginning that would tell your teacher that they didn’t write this, but they made you write it so you deserved the credit for it. You didn’t care that this would take a while, the satisfaction that you would get would be worth it. This was going to completely screw up their grades, this essay was worth twenty five percent of your overall grade. Mr. Todd was really laid back, so he only had a few rules in the classroom. First was to respect your classmate’s time and work, second was to clean up after yourselves, and third (“the most important one” he said on the first day of school) was that he would never tolerate racism, sexism, transphobia, or homophobia in his classroom. Your masterpieces you were writing would definitely earn them a failing grade, a good scolding from Mr. Todd, and maybe a visit to the principal’s office. This would be first in a long line of gifts you have in mind for them. 

At lunch, you were slightly stumped as to where you should sit. You didn’t really know anybody in your lunch period, so you just sat at the empty table Adrian, Annie, and Sammy left for you today and ate while working on your masterpieces. Finding sources was extremely easy for you, you remembered doing extensive research about discrimination when you first found out that you weren’t the straight girl you thought you were. Luckily for you, you still had the old Google Doc full of sources you wanted to save for later. Thank you, freshman you. 

Third and fourth block went by relatively quickly, you completely finished the work in both classes with plenty of time left for you to continue typing up the essays. You had gotten Adrian’s completely done and Annie’s thesis written. Oh, revenge is sweet. You weren’t even done with what you had in store for them. 

You had their parent’s phone numbers and you got Adrian’s boss’ number from Marlene, who worked with him as a waitress. Annie’s parents were total sweethearts that would be absolutely fuming if you showed them what she said to you. You weren’t sure about Adrian’s or Sammy’s parents, but you were going to send them screenshots anyways. If Adrian’s parents were as bigoted as he was, you still had his boss to fall back on. You could email the screenshots to the principal and the athletic director so that you could have something to rely on if Sammy’s parents had the same beliefs as she did. She valued cross country more than everything, so you could fuck that up for her. Revenge never tasted so sweet to you before, it felt like you were high with how giddy you were. Techno and Wilbur were going to love this. 

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[adellovesrowan]

WAIT ADEL AND YOUR JACOB KILL EACH OTHER?

1: ok fuckin amazing end, like I love that

2: though I love this, p l e a s e tell me Adel and Rowan at least got married before! They need happiness... but I have a bad feeling...

HDNKDNDNDNNDND THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥺 im glad u like it LMAO and dont worry they do :3 they do they get married and have two lovely children <3

anyhow, lets just say the necklace adel always wears isnt just a necklace without a story behind it

years ago, some time in the 1800s, was a young wizard with one of the longest names hogwarts has ever heard, but history knew them as aditya rahayu.

aditya was known for their studies and teachings of foreign magic, specifically magic from the far southeast asia. some were good, some were bad. but the one study of magic that got them into the bad side of history was one called the suanggi magic, a branch of dark magic from papua that kills by simply being near the victim. they spent months learning about the suanggi and its ritual to become one.

it did not turn out great.

their failed attempt caused their suanggi to be worse than the actual thing. a successful suanggi transformation allows the wizard to gain full control of their suanggi and take the shape of a shadow or a completely normal human being as disguise. a failed attempt forces the suanggi to go out of the wizards control and take the form of a completely detectable monster.

aditya killed half the people of the village they lived in, almost killing their own baby daughter in the process. eventually, a hunt was sent out for the suanggi and aditya rahayu died at the age of 31. unfortunately, the suanggi did not die with them.

their daughter was a fine young witch, until the suanggi in her started to claw up at her magic, causing unexpected outbursts and the people around her to slowly wilt and drain. the suanggi steals the magic of the wizarding people around its host to gobble up for its own growth, slowly killing the wizards and emptying them of magic in their blood.

the curse, unfortunately genetic, continued down to adityas descendants, stopping at a squib. the suanggi only seems to react if the host held magic in their blood. so the suanggi bloodline was assumed to have stopped. until muggleborn delia young ( née sanjaya ) makes her appearance.

delia’s suanggi outburst alerted the newspapers and so had to be sent to another place to be subdued, and fortunately not killed right away. delia later married kenneth young and gave birth to jaka and adel young, both inheriting the suanggi magic.

as an alchemist, she forged her own seal to lock away the suanggi magic. unfortunately, her resources allowed her no more than one (1) amulet, which she gave to jaka who was about to leave for hogwarts. a few years after that, she and her husband were murdered, and 13 year old jaka had to protect his 5 year old baby sibling.

miserable, hopeless, and grieving his parents deaths, jaka started leaning against r’s shoulder even more, relying on their sweet promises of a better life for him and his sister. before he ran away from home, he passed the amulet down to adel, as a memory of their mother for her to keep. delia hadnt told him that the amulet was a seal.

r knew about jakas suanggi magic, and coaxed him into doing the ritual to exploit his magic to the fullest. unfortunately the boy was not immune to the promise of power as well, blinded by the belief that hes doing this for the good of his loved ones.

adel spent her years at hogwarts not knowing about the suanggi, until she got kidnapped and taken to r in her seventh year. to her shock and definitely grief, jaka stood by r’s side as they forced her to perform the long, painful ritual — not knowing that her mothers amulet prevented the suanggi from showing up.

the amulet somehow broke and adels suanggi violently took over her consciousness — attacking everyone in the range and killing a dozen of r members in the process. jaka transformed into his suanggi form, fully in control, and fought his unhinged sister off.

the fight ended when jaka pulled adel into a hug, which she hesitantly sank into. this is what shes been fighting for since the first day. this is what shes been yearning for in the corner of her dark room back at her grandpas house. what she gave up her childhood, safety, happiness, and sense of normalcy for. love and affection from the last family member she believed to truly love her.

shame that the hug shes sacrificed so much for physically killed her body. by being the closest she can get to her brother, jaka was able to absorb all of the magic inside her, sucking the life out of her in the process.

what jaka didnt know was that his body couldnt handle that amount of magic, so as soon as adel died in his arms, he exploded.

and thats the story of how the young siblings died :)

im jk i havent decided the exact magic-science behind it yet but for the first time in the history of suanggis, adels suanggi had saved her life. right now im thinking its bc the suanggi saved some residue magic in her. like your lungs saving residue air or something.

but yes adel young in fact survived a suanggi attack and continued to live her life <3