#I just wanna live alone or with someone who's patient enough to talk to me nicely :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonyjulian · 10 months

Text

This fic idea has been in my brain for few weeks now and since I'm definitely not gonna actually write it (mostly because English is my second language and I feel nervous writing in it, so sorry if some of sentences are wired) I wanna put it here

Basically, it's les mis au where instead of police inspector Javert grows up to be doctor. He still was born in prison and still has that fucked up mentality of "everyone who ever broke the law is a horrible person with no exception", but instead of "I'll make sure that everyone of them suffers the consequences of their actions" it's "I'll make sure they live long enough to suffer the consequences of their actions". So he's still an asshole, just in a slightly different way

It's a valvert fic obviously, so even though the main plot point are the same, there is a big difference between how Valjean and Javert actually interact with each other. Under read more I'll put basically the entire plot of this fic (each paragraph is different chapter), so if any one actually likes this idea, feel free to take it, just let me know

So it's all starts with Javert working in Toulon as doctor for a few months now. He gets a new patient who was crashed by a boulder and then he asks the guards about what happened, they tell him about a prisoner who lifted the boulder with his bare hands. Intrigued, he asks the guards to bring this prisoner to him to "make sure he didn't injured himself and can continue his work tomorrow". So they bring Valjean to him. For Javert it's a normal check up there he asks about the accident, how he's feeling right now and prison related questions (like for his real name, why he's here etc.), but for Valjean it's the first time in years someone talks with him like he's a person and not a beast. And, because Javert doesn't talk about how he hates every single lawbreaker, Valjean thinks that he actually cares about his patients and is a nice guy. It's the only time they actually talk in Toulon, but they see each other on few occasions.

Because Javert is a doctor, then he moves to m sur m, he has no idea that Valjean broke his parole and on the run. So then he meets mayor Madeleine, even though there is something familiar about him, he doesn't think much about it. Valjean on the other hand immediately recognised him, but decided not to tell him the truth for now and get to know him first. So instead of constantly avoiding each other, they actually become almost friends and start to develop mutual crush, but they don't act on it.

Then the accident with Fauchelevent carriage happens, Javert sees for the first time how strong is Madeleine and after tells him to visit the hospital to make sure he didn't hurt himself. Then they're in Javerts cabinet alone, he tells Madeleine how he heard stories in Toulon about a man, who was as strong as mayor himself. And just then Valjean decides to tell the truth, Javert is like: "But that man was a convict and we both know, that every person who broke the law is horrible and can't change for the better. You're saint in comparison to this man and I'm sorry for disrespecting you like that, monsieur le maire." Valjean then asks why he thinks like that, Javert tells him his backstory and his world view, so he decides not to tell him the truth again. After few more months, they both slowly realise they have feelings for each other, but because they unsure if the other feels the same, they still don't confess.

Then Fantine gets arrested, Valjean orders to release her and this time police officers let her go free with zero objections. Then he brings her to the hospital, he tells Javert that he found this woman unconscious on the street, because he's afraid that Javert might treat her different from other patients if he knew she was arrested. They now spend even more time together, because Valjean visits her every day and they both trying to safe her life. Few months later Javert gets a latter, in which he's ordered to go to Arras so can identify a convict who broke his parole and recently was captured. He gives this latter to the mayor and explains that he will leave for two days. Valjean asks what will he say to the officers and Javert is like: "I'll tell them the truth. If I'm sure that this man is Valjean, I'll tell them that. And if it's not him, I'll tell that they got the wrong man." Javert leaves and Valjean panics.

Then Javert returns, he tells the mayor that it was definitely Valjean and that his trial will be tomorrow. Just like in canon Valjean gets to Arras on time, tells the truth about his identity and returns to m sur m. He goes to the hospital and tells everything to Javert in hopes that, because they are friends, he'll understand and help him escape. But their dialogue goes horribly wrong and while they're fighting (or more accurately Valjean's trying to explain himself and Javert is furious and doesn't want to hear him out), Fantine dies. Valjean escapes to go for Cosette, while Javert tells the officers, where he might run. After all of this, Javert thinks that their whole friendship was a lie and that Valjean only wanted to make fun of him.

Valjean and Cosette both move to Paris, just like in canon. Javert get invetation to work in the most prestigious hospital in Paris, because he's one of the best doctors of his time (not because he's much better than any body, but because he likes to clean his work place after every patient and has much lower mortality rate). I'm still not sure, how I want them to meet in this chapter. It's either: Valjean gets injured, goes to hospital because Cosette forced him, they see each other from a distance and recognise each other, Valjean escapes; or: they both in the park listening to les Amis, Javert sees him from afar and tries to get closer to make sure it's really him, guards arrive to arrest the students and they get separated. Both versions lead to the same conclusion: Javert now knows, that Valjean is in Paris, and wants to put him behind bars.

Then the barricades are build, Javert is ordered to go there to help injured guards. There he sees Valjean in uniform, but before he can do anything, the guards go to attack the barricades and Valjean goes with them. Then they come back, Javert doesn't see him with them and checks every corpse, but still can't find him. He then learns from other guards that one of them joined the side of rebels, he decides to see who it was himself. He gets to the other side of barricades and then confronted by rebels he just insults them so they take him hostage. That's where they finally meet again and Valjean asks permission to kill him. Once they alone in the alley, Valjean frees him and breaks his world view like in canon, but he also confess his love for Javert and they kiss. Valjean gives him his new name and address and Javert leaves very confused.

After the barricades fell, Javert goes there and can't find Valjean. He realises, that he left through the sewers, but doesn't tell anybody about it. He returns to the hospital to help injured guards. There he gets a message from m. Gillenormand (who is his regular patient in this fic) about medical emergency. He goes to the mansion, guesses that Marius was injured on the barricades and learns that Valjean brought home. After that he goes to the address that Valjean has given him and finds him waiting. They finally talk, Javert has his mental breakdown, but this time Valjean helps him sort out all his thoughts: "Even though your motiv was wrong, you still saved countless of lives. And now you can continue your work but with compassion towards everyone, no matter who they were or who they are." Valjean convinces Javert to stay in his house for the night.

They start to spend more time together taking care of Marius. After he recovers, Javert tells Valjean that he decided to transfer from the prestige hospital to the one for people who can't afford proper medical care. Valjean is very happy with this decision (this is the place where I would have written smut, but you don't have to imagine that I'm not your boss). After Cosette moves out to live with Marius, Valjean asks Javert to move in with him and he agrees. Javert convinces him to tell Cosette the truth about his backstory and of course she forgives him and still loves him. The end.

#les mis #javert #jean valjean #valvert #god this post is long #les miserables

18 notes · View notes

whatstruthgottodowithit · 2 years

Text

Dating Joey Tribbiani Would Include

You’d meet somewhere normal.

Joey used to hitting on women anywhere and everywhere.

And he’d definitely hit on you.

And he’d be confused when you didn’t call for his usual go-to moves.

So he’d pursue you.

‘I’ve tried everything and she still doesn’t like me!’ ‘How about talking to her like she’s a human being?’ ‘Now’s no time for jokes Mon.’

He’d keep asking you out.

Until finally, you’d cave.

One date then he had to leave you alone.

And he’d go all out.

He’d definitely borrow from Chandler to take you out.

But he’d buy you flowers (and chocolates but they wouldn’t make the journey to your apartment)

And the date would end with him coming back to your apartment.

Because why the hell not?

And he’d love that he succeeded but there was a little niggle at the back of his mind.

But you’d not go on a second date.

You’d become friends.

The gang would love you.

You’d slot right in.

But the more he got to know you the more he fell in love.

It’d all come to a head when someone else asked you out.

‘Are you really going out with him?’ ‘Yeah, why?’ ‘No reason.’ ‘Joe?’ ‘Would I be selfish to ask that you don’t?’

After that, you’d find yourself in bed together again.

And for most of the following few days.

The man has moves.

But he’s also super sweet, loving and caring.

He loves to cook for you.

And all dates are definitely food-based.

He teaches you all his family recipes.

But you’ll never impress his nonna.

‘I love my Joey so I love you…but leave the cooking to Nonna.’

She loves you though.

And so do all his sisters.

He talks about having a big family like his.

The idea of pushing 7 Joey sized babies out makes you shiver

But seeing him with his nieces and nephews, Emma and the twins is enough to convince you.

He’d propose simply.

Like when you were cooking together.

‘Hey Y/N.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘Wanna get married?’ ‘Sure Joe, oh, you’re serious.’

And he’d have to have the big church wedding or his Ma would never let him hear the end of it.

And you’d eventually move out near Monica and Chandler.

Because even though Joey has grown up now he still needs his best man.

‘Do we really need to do this?’ ‘Hey looking after Joey is not easy.’ ‘I am right here.’ ‘Here’s what he eats.’ ‘I’m a grown man!’

And once you were settled out there you’d start trying for a baby.

He’d be the best dad.

So patient and caring.

And the only person you know who could play catch for 18 hours straight.

Every holiday was spent with the gang and their growing broods.

Hosted by Monica of course.

And though you all had your own lives and families it wasn’t too dissimilar to the days you spent at Central Perk. Just with a few more faces.

THIS IS PART OF MY CHRISTMAS CHALLENGE. I’LL BE POSTING AN IMAGINE EVERDAY FROM 1ST - 25TH DECEMBER. THIS AND ALL IMAGINES WILL BE UPLOADED IN THE LINK POSTED DAY BY DAY.

ADVENT CALENDAR OF IMAGINES

#my writing #my headcanons #joey tribbiani #joey tribbiani imagine #friends #friends imagine #friends headcanon #joey tribbiani headcanon #dating would include

122 notes · View notes

one-abuse-survivor · 1 year

Note

I'm the moving out anon hahah I'm 2 days into being in my uncles house and its crazy emotionally atm😅 i mean i feel so safe and he doesnt shout?? he asks nicely if he wants me to do something and like REALLY doesnt care if i make a mess? and doesnt care if i nap?? all things that would make my parents go ballistic hahha. yesterday I made some chicken and pasta for the first time ever and i dont really know how to work a cooker/stove thing nor am i too confident around boiling water lol (mum never let me do these things) i was throwing the pasta in the pan cos i didnt wanna pour it and get the water on me and he was in there and he just..didnt care that i was missing a lot lol like at all. he knew i was gonna clean it up hahha but i didnt do too great with the food i forgot a lot of things cos the time constraints of the food was making me kinda panic a little so i think ive gotta do some extra beginner stuff 😂😂 when he comes in my room he knocks and talks at a normal volume or quieter, and its just so relaxing. when we are going out shopping or smth, he sets a time then leaves me alone then comes in my room at the time and is calm af the whole time and we set off and hes just calm??? idk i feel like its a whole shock to my system atm hahaha im waiting for the other shoe to drop constantly even though i trust him enough to never be like that (like ever its not his thing to be explosive lol) will i get used to this in time? im sleepy a lot too like just exhausted hahah its crazy but these are 'normal' reactions, right?

Hi, nonnie! Sorry for the late reply. I'm so glad you were able to move in with someone who is so calm and who can provide you such a safe and normal space to live in!

This shock you're describing is really common when you've been abused, and when you have PTSD in general. It's like your body just cannot compute with the feeling of safety, and has to constantly anticipate the moment when the other person will finally snap, because that anticipation is the only thing that has kept you safe till now.

It does get better, though, and I hope it has for you since you sent this ask! Time, as well as more and more moments when the right people show you that they're not going to explode no matter what, will eventually, slowly teach your body that it doesn't need to be hypervigilant to be safe. Therapy can help, too, and just being aware of what you're going through and being patient with yourself can make a huge difference.

I've personally found that I have to repeat this process almost every time a new authority figure appears in my life. This can be really frustrating, and scary, because the feeling of fear and hypervigilance you thought you had overcome suddenly comes rushing back. But it does get easier over time, and there will come a day when you'll naturally expect people to be kind and respectful, and when the opposite—aggression and disrespect—will feel shocking and unexpected.

Hope you're doing well! Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

#ask #moving out anon #abuse #abuse tw #abusive parents #ptsd #trauma tw #Ptsd tw

2 notes · View notes

xsadcorebenji · 1 year

Text

i get sad and lonely often,

but it’s hard to access the emotions of self-hatred,

and it’s hard for me to care as much whenever anything bad happens anymore,

Fox died, i had to make a terrible decision,

it was the worst decision i could ever make for myself but it was necessary

that was my zenith,

not every other troubling experience i went through

that moment

i lose friends often and

i picture myself

again in some random town

anywhere

with another social group

until i am inevitably alone

and there’s no reason for me to want to die, as long as i live Fox lives on,

he’s here in my heart and in my memories, and i never want to die because i don’t want the world to forget Fox

there’s nothing

that will ever clear out that pain and

there’s no point in suppressing it or running away or avoiding it

it’s there; an open wound that refuses to close

and i’m tired,

i’m tired of people not making the fucking effort to understand me,

that’s not my responsibility

and thank GOD for a therapist patient with me enough to not tell me to just stop talking about Fox,

that pain lives on,

but as time passes and i remember

the good parts it’s hard not to fall in love all over again

no one was there when i was 23

there’s so much me where it’s like

Fuck Life, if Life wants to pass me by,

go fucking ahead, fuck life, fuck everything and everyone, don’t fucking rush me,

i just want to carve out space for myself to learn things i wanted to learn and fuck how fast everything passes,

i don’t care, pass me the FUCK by already then, fuck accelerationism, fuck the government, fuck all of it, how months feel like years,

and a day passes and it already feels like a fucking century passed

and everyone who “breaks up” (even in platonic context) with me with some variance of

“life goes on” (with every connotation of “oh well”)

suck shit and die already

“life goes on”

i wanna fucking smear your face into the pavement get the fuck over yourself.

the same people will idolize you

the same people are the first to demonize you

and i don’t care,

i’m so tired of all of it,

i’m tired of these lonely feelings that come on, and there’s really not much but to wait for it to pass

just a lot of missing out;

put simply lately been considering how i should’ve have skipped out on some dates during high school,

just because i wasn’t interested in the person

realize now that’s the point in dating,

actually fucking getting to know each other better

and i spent a lot of last year getting close to someone i really shouldn’t have been so forgiving with nor should have gotten close to,

just absolutely frustrating, because there was so much of the time we knew each other, you didn’t even FUCKING register in my head as anything like that,

and i just get so fucking suckered in whenever anyone reaches out to say “i care” whenever i’m feeling it, but christ

i wish people like you don’t exist,

energy vampires who feed off of anyone who seems to carry an earnestness you lack

and i am earnest by god

and i don’t care to carry resent for you

maybe just this large disdain,

and the ugly miserable thought of how easily you can throw it away

and if the thought of me hurts, i genuinely hope it does actually,

and i always want to say “and what are you going to fucking do about it?”

because whenever i think of you; i think of how i really need to be more careful,

but also

how much I NEVER WANT TO BE YOU;

i’m grateful shit failed because i want me more than ever,

and 33 has been a frustratingly lonely year thus far, and i suppose i don’t know if 34 will be better

part of me feels like i should be concerned with how often i alienate others now, but i also DON’T CARE, i am LITERALLY feeling like the most honest i can be with myself lately and if y’all can’t fuck with that

then fuck off, easy

just tired,

and in the end,

there’s just so much stuff i want to do for the sake of doing it absolutely for myself

and admittedly some of the stuff i do i have some petty motivation like

hope all this exercise and skin care and everything else pays off and i become so physically alluring that anyone’s who’s ever snubbed me just feels a searing fucking pain in their stomachs

but even then,

it’s just nice to move around again ultimately

and life

just keeps happening

stuff keeps happening

new things keep happening

it never ends and i’m painfully curious

and good stuff happens for friends and so many things happen

and admittedly i get jealous of good events just wishing i could experience the same

like wish i could experience dates

but i know i’m too picky, and i know it’s incredibly difficult for me to like

FEIGN having interest when i don’t

i just can’t call it a “closed mind”

but it’s like if there’s nothing really interesting i’m getting out of it, then what’s point

still,

i wish i went to more of those movie dates

and bowling dates

but again, i’m definitely more grown than i was in highschool

like understand myself a lot more

it just sucks it comes at a time where realistically

not a GODDAMN person “emotionally available”

like yeah, no shit, why you hanging out with me then?

oh right ENERGY,

drink it up, i hope you choke on it

sincerely sometimes,

“ewww you’re so ugly when you’re mean”

well you piss me the fuck off when you just come up with shit excuses to blow me off cuz you ain’t got integrity,

like all of it.

stop blaming me for your fucking messes please,

all of it,

fucking teacher sends me to the hospital because i have a fucking meltdown because motherfucker couldn’t hold his FUCKING end of the responsibility of a misunderstanding

“it’s all YOUR fault”

well, fucker i hope all those steroids or whatever fitness bullshit you were on just rotted your dick off and you’re just eternally flaccid

motherfuckers that can’t say “i’m sorry”

“shit was a mutual misunderstanding”

nah it’s “you this or that”

or “life goes on”

literally fuck off

you ain’t ever going to meet a motherfucker alive that even comes close to me,

and y’all better be armed with someone way better because some of y’all, i ain’t ever gonna fuck with you like that again

so i hope it was worth losing me, fucker

so many of you,

i genuinely hope it was worth it

“whew well you sound so toxic, so it’s probably relief for them,

they probably spare no thought for you”

shut the fuck up, negging self-talk,

if you’re trying to convince me they don’t spare a single thought about the craziest motherfucker they ever met

then you’re delusional as shit my friend,

well my obligatory friend,

who only recently can i just recognize you’re just bullshitting and to not take you so seriously

i’m angry so yeah “toxic” “toxic”

but i still fucking know

i’m the best friend anyone could ever have

because i actually show the fuck up.

#personal

0 notes

sevi-just · 1 year

Note

Sveika.

no sērijas "Wanna be nosy? Here's your chance."

Viegls ice breaker. You can freely answer in english.

2, 6, 11, 12, 13, 17, 19, 21, 27, 31, 35, 41, 43

(I wish I could ask these ones anonymously, but..)

Sveiks! :) Thanks for asking, thats nice from you.

I will try my best answering in English. The last time i spoke was when i was leading an internship practice for foreign students from Germany and Finland. But thats was great experience.

Okey, it will be enough for small talk :D.

2. Shoe size. Not a fan about this question because my shoe size is 42. Pretty big for women but ..... i am 183 cm.

6. Age you get mistaken for. Actually i dont know the answer. When i was younger, then others mistaken that i am older because of my height. But at now i think i look suitable for my age. I dont know. Do I?

11. Best friend? As always, Mairis in my real and personal life. But in my professional life - Sandra. We both studied together. And at now we have great connection. And it is really nice that i have person with who i can talk about my practice and ask advice.

12. Relationship status. Unfortunately, single. For about two months now. Feeling really heartbroken and depressed. Trying to deal with it. Actually, really hard to talk about this. At this time in life, just trying to survive every day and drowning myself in job. Learning how to live again. Dont have anyone with who i can talk about this and these overwelming feelings are destroing me. Because i am holding all in. Yeah.

13. Biggest turn ons. Hmm. Thats depends on situation and person. In simple situation - confidence, strong eye contact, intelligence, beard, fit body, tattoes, strong body language. At next level situation - dominance, seduction, rough hold, blindfolded. Ahh, touching my neck - thats my weak point.

17. Someone you miss. I miss two things, actually three. Every day i miss my kitten Lea. Every minute i miss my ex. And the most who i miss - the old me. Me, before all the bad things started to happen. I was so happy and joyful. And now - just sad and empty person. But i think in backgroung - i was that all the time. The first thing that happened when i was just 14 years young, broken me so much.

19. A fact about your personality. This one made me think. Hmmm My horoscope is Taurus, i think thats says about me a lot. I am stubborn, very hardworking person. I am very patient. But if i am seeing that someone is testing me, i can explode.

I am very ambitious. I have many goals and dreams that i want to achieve. And with my hard work i am slowly achieving them.

I like simple things. For me comfort is priority.

I really love planning my time. Thats important for me.

Deep down i am very sensitive. I need really long time to start trusting someone.I like to be alone. If i have problem, some personal issue then i will solve it alone.

I rarely talk about personal things, unless I am extremely comfortable with the person.

21. What i love most about myself. That i can tell NO if i want to. Lately i am starting to love myself, my body, my figure. I love that i am tall, red head with freckles and pale skin. At now i am feeling comfortable in my body. I love how i look but thats why i am working out. I love that i am just simple, hardworking person. I love that i didnt afraid and become a veterinarian. Really love doing my job.

27. A description of the boy/girl i like. I am bisexual, and find attractive both genders. But i will tell about a boy at now. Hmm. He has dark hair and beard. He has fit body, really care about sport. He is confident, very protective about loved ones. Driving fast with cars and driving my mind crazy. He is very direct at what he is saying. He is tough but sensitive. I like that we can talk about everything, we can discuss so many things. He have his own opinion.

31. What your last text message says. - Saldus sapņus.

35. What i find attractive in men. Good looking. Men who treat himself right. He thinks about what how he is looking and what he is wearing. He need to be supportive. He needs to take lead.

41. Where i want to be right now. At now is night. And i hate to go sleep alone. It would be great just sleep in room where ir someone else. It would be excellent be in my best friend hug. Just rest my head at his shoulder and feel inner peace.

But in deeper meening. I just want to rest and have some time for myslf. I need place where i can be just me.

43. Sexiest person that comes in my mind immediately. First person that came in my mind is my ex. He means everything to me. And i am seeing just him. How he looks, how he moves.

Big thanks for asking.

1 note · View note

june-of-earth · 2 years

Text

Feb 05th, 23

1. I was out and about sorta traveling around from bar to bar. It felt like I was alone and had my night sorta planned just getting lost from tavern to tavern. Until I walked into a dive bar where I knew practically everyone. It wasn’t till I ran into someone I knew that my night would be taken a drastic turn. I was conversing where I thought the level of energy from this person was in a positive/neutral level, but it wasn’t. It’s like I crossed them and now I’m hearing it finally. To make the dream more of a guilt trip the bartender sorta gave me the same interaction. I can’t I’ve met her in my waking life. She’s a little older and has some stories to share. She comes off as someone’s opinions you’d respect. So I let her tell me what I did. I don’t feel to great about it. The bar lights turn on and she tells me to get out, and don’t ever come back here.

(I’ve been getting stuck in loops, and honestly its my drinking that’s a problem. I forgive my transgressions and move on without really looking at myself and getting myself help. Or actually stopping myself from putting up with this over and over again. It’s caused me some troubles along the way throughout the years, and I feel the bad is now equally weighed to the good times I’ve had. Lately I’ve been looking at myself and if i ever would be able to put this aside for a partner. Like actually settle down and just be at home. The last thing I wanna be is toxic to someone that loves me.)

2. I’m staying with a friend. It’s not the best of places but it’ll do. Time slowly passes and the water-n-tear are slowly making its appearance throughout the place. Eventually enough is enough and I decide to leave the place.

(This dream I can relate to in my waking life. Honestly because I’ve done it. I squandered some time not to long ago. I wasn’t living in the best of places, but it was a free bed. Not my best VH1 behind the music story, but I was unemployed and didn’t really have a lot going on in my life. Eventually some time passed and enough was enough. I had to get myself out of there. Took a lot of hurdles and some waiting but I’m getting myself back together. Just gotta be patient a little longer till I’m back to where I was at, and be more now than I was then.)

3. She looks like someone I know in my waking life. Not someone I fully know, where we can call ourselves friends. In this dream we know each other pretty well and it’s becoming pretty intimate. She really has a thing for me and it’s not until I meet someone else that this is finally starting to happen. I’m nervous, I wanna say it’s friends or bad timing that these two women are getting more closer and closer to meeting one another. It’s like I’m stuck between who to choose. The girl that I’m friends with finally confesses herself to me and I’m finally happy that this is happening. She starts telling me about how she feels and wants to take things to the next level with our relationship. She starts talking about this trip she was going with her friends and how she was wondering that if I would like to go. As soon has I come to speak out loud “yes!” For a brief second.. I look up to see that other girl across the way, I don’t speak out yes. She starts thinking I’m ignoring her, or if I heard what she just asked. And as soon as this happens the she looks at the other girl appears and looks back at me and her eyes are filled with rage. She starts shouting, thunder starts clapping in the background. She voices herself on how she wants nothing to do with me. I try to explain myself, how I’m committed to her, and want her and only her, but she wants me gone. I try to argue back..I say it’s not what you think… she starts screaming go away…I buckle…I don’t wanna fight this rage. I walk away a couple steps… I turned back but she started her car and without a second look…leaves. It starts to rain, and I walk home not knowing where the tears truly began, before or during the storm.

(I woke up pretty angry from this one. I didn’t really have a thought. Just anger. It’s just how I felt during that walk in my dream..in the rain. It’s like I walked until all my sadness left me…and as that sadness left me anger took its place until I was numb. It’s as a person who lost everything feels…empty..then after I don’t know how long of walking…I finally woke up, and I just felt so empty. So angry.)

—I found that if I just have something of the lines of a subject title for my dreams. I can slowly dial back on what occurred at times. Not all the details but the grit of it all. As long I have a subject title or something of an idea of main occurrence I can voice it out.

—I’ll try to post these more often. It’s been awhile. It really makes me think a lot in my waking life. How I wanna be better, and just need a push, and I feel that it’s my dreams that give me a push.

-Rico

#self #dreams

0 notes

letarasstuff · 3 years

Text

Unbreakable Bond

(A/N): This is based on this post and this tiktok

Summary: A big age gap between Aaron's children doesn't have to mean that they are unable to form a strong bond

Warnings: Mentions of Haley's death and failed relationships

Wordcount: 1.8k

✨Masterlist✨

_________________________________

His life took turns Aaron never expected. It’s not the “Oh, mh, well that was unexpected”-type of turns, I talk about the “God played Cards Against Humanity with angels and decided to make it happen for someone”-type. But looking back he would not want to change a thing.

After Haley and Beth he was convinced that God, the Universe, something out there shared the opinion that romantic love isn’t the right thing for him and Aaron accepted that fact. Even more when he and Jack went into witness protection. I mean, when you are worried about the life of your family being in danger because of a stalker, you don’t think about the beautiful neighbor, who lives next door, right? Right?

Well, without going into too much detail, Hotch did think about her and she about him and vice versa. Everything went good until Aaron received the message that the team found the stalker and that it was safe to come back. He decided to come clean to his girlfriend. They talked about the possibility of moving back to Quantico.

In the end they decided in favor of the move, the final argument was the surprising announcement of her being pregnant. Hotch wants to raise their youngest where his and Jack’s roots are located. But he decides against taking a position at the BAU, instead taking a desk job in order to be more at home. He also has the opportunity to work from home after little (Y/N) was born and continues to do so until she is old enough to go to Kindergarten. Even then he takes two days the week where he stays home. Aaron learned from his decisions and mistakes he made in the past and wants to live up to them and be a better father and husband than before.

And Hotch keeps it to this day, six years later. It’s (Y/N)’s first day of school, while Jack just graduated high school and goes off to college in a few weeks. Even though they have an age gap from twelve and a half years, their parents are sure there are no other siblings with such a strong bond.

Ever since his baby sister’s birth Jack is her biggest supporter, protector and friend. Her first word was his name, though it was more of a “ACK!”, but that’s the best nickname he ever got. As soon as (Y/N) was old enough to comprehend the concept of movies, he introduced her to Star Wars. Since then lightsaber wars out of cardboard pipes are not uncommon. Last Halloween they even dressed up as Chewbakka and Han Solo. You get three guesses on who was who.

“JACK!” (Y/N) runs into her big brother’s room with an excited expression on her face. “Daddy promised to buy me a real lightsaber after I read ten books! With lights and sounds and all! Isn’t that cool?” Jack smiles. Aaron did a similar thing with him. For a certain amount of books he got a reward they discussed beforehand. This way he felt motivated to read and improved writing and reading skills.

“This is awesome. I think that means we have to go book shopping together, what do you think?” (Y/N) is not only the cool kid that has an older brother, she is also the cool kid, whose older brother has a drivers license, a car and a part time job. She nods with big eyes, speechless, because the offer sounds like heaven to her. Getting books and one on one time with Jack after he was really busy with school for weeks? This has to be heaven.

“Ok, then you put your outside clothes on and I’ll tell Dad about our plan.” At that the little girl rushes to her room, not wanting to waste any more time. Jack makes his way down to the kitchen, where Aaron wipes the table from lunch down.

“Dad, I take (Y/N) to this bookstore in DC and we’ll probably go eat ice cream after that. Is that alright?” Hotch looks up at his son. It still feels like yesterday as he told Haley that Gideon is a big no as a baby name. Now he is all grown up and just a few weeks away from the next big chapter in his life.

“Of course, just let me get my wall-” Jack cuts him off. “No need, I want to use this as a kind of goodbye thing. At least until Thanksgiving.” Aaron knows what he means. It’s his last day before he goes off to college and just a couple more until the first classes begin. The family still hasn’t told their youngest exactly what’s going on. Else she would refuse to go to school and go on with her day, insisting on using all the time they have until Jack drives off.

Two hours later the siblings leave the bookstore, both of them having a bag in their hands. Of course Jack's heavier, but both he and the cashier assured (Y/N) that they lift the same amount of weight.

“Uncle Spence will be excited when I tell him that I read Harry Potter, he told me so many good things about it”, the girl gushes. Jack nods, indicating that he is listening. Of course they also picked books that are not that advanced. Still, no sister of his shall grow up without knowing the beauty of the wizarding world. Also, secretly he is hoping for her to turn out as nerdy as he is so they get more things to talk about. His next step is superheroes, especially the Marvel ones.

They converse until they get to an ice cream parlor and order both their usuals. “Do you think you are ready for me to tell you something important?” The older one asks after they sit down at a table. (Y/N) nods, confusion taking over her face.

“Uhm, you know how I graduated from high school? I’m done with school, but I want to get a degree, but for that I have to go to college. It’s pretty far away so I can’t come home for a few months. But I’m back home when Thanksgiving is and also for Christmas.” It doesn’t matter what Jack says, a sad frown has formed on the little one’s face. “Oh. And after Christmas, will you leave again?” He nods and explains when he is off from college and when not.

“We can always skype and write letters. How does that sound? And when you get your first phone, we can even text.” That (Y/N) lights up a bit. For her first year of school she got a stationary set and is eager to use it to this day.

“I’m going to miss you so much”, she says hugging her big brother. Jack pats her back. “I’ll miss you, too.”

The goodbye the next day is a heartfelt matter. Everybody cries, especially (Y/N). She can’t fathom a scenario where her brother isn’t there for her all the time.

The following weeks are also hard for the family. The youngest refuses to sleep alone for the first three days after Jack’s leave. She is more closed off and mainly just does her school work or reads the books he bought for her. By the time Thanksgiving is only away for another two weeks, (Y/N) has read through all of them at least two times.

Her father already ordered the lightsaber he promised her. Unfortunately shipping takes several months, so the little girl still has to wait patiently for her reward to arrive. In the meantime she works on getting the next and she is already pretty close to the comic book collection she wants.

“Sweetheart, can you set the table, please? Your Mom will be here soon from grocery shopping and she will need help getting them from the car into the house”, Hotch calls for his daughter while stirring in a pot.

The little girl nods, putting her stationary set and pens aside to do as her father asked. She is in the middle of answering her brother’s last letter, telling him that she is now the one that usually has to read aloud for the class because of her advanced skill for a first grader.

Just as she sets the last piece of silverware down the doorbell rings. “Sweetie, can you please open it? This should be your mother.” Happily (Y/N) runs up and turns the door knob. Over the last few months she hit a small growing spurt and is finally tall enough to reach it without standing on her tippy toes.

“Mo-” She nearly chokes on her own saliva. The one at the door is definitely not her mother. “JACK!” (Y/N) runs up to him and jumps onto his leg. “Hey Princess. I thought now that you read your books, we need to hold the most amazing lightsaber fight in history.” With a mischievous smile he pulls two from his back, giving one to his baby sister.

It is the most epic fight in history between an elementary schooler and a college boy. They can only be stopped by their parents announcing that it is a tie between both of them and that they have to sit down, else the food gets cold.

The following weeks mostly consist of (Y/N)’s joyous laughs and cuddling with her big brother. She even insists on him sleeping with her in her much smaller bed. On his last night before going back to college, the little girl turns to him in the middle of watching her favorite movie in the living room.

“Do you promise not to forget me when you are away? Because I alway think about you and tell my friends so much about you. I told them you are a hero, my hero, just like Daddy. They wanna meet you because of that.” Jack has to hold back tears at her statement.

“I also think of you so much. All of my friends at college are pretty jealous of me having such a sweet baby sister. Maybe one time you can visit me and I can introduce you to them.” The thought of that makes (Y/N) smile and is a little consolation to the thought of her brother leaving again.

Aaron watches the interaction going down, happy to see the strong bond between his children, despite their age gap. This is nothing like he and Sean were and that is a relief for him and the worries he had in the beginning. It is a sign that he did do some things right as a father.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

#aaron hotch x child!reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x daughter!reader #aaron hotchner x daughter!reader #aaron hotchner x child!reader #jack hotchner #jack hotchner x sister!reader #jack hotchner x reader #x daughter!reader #x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotch #x child!reader

603 notes · View notes

tteokdoroki · 3 years

Text

— “TRUST YOU + KATSUKI BAKUGOU.”

author’s note(s): two thousand words of pure sloppy filth written for your entertainment and inspired by an ask i got from my ♈️ anon, who asked me to imagine college katsuki teaching you how to give bjs,, so this is dedicated to them. i hope you enjoy this my fellow sinners! there’s a lot in this one so read the warmings!

warning(s): mdni, 18+. heavy smut, dark content, dub-con, forced photography, cheating, manipulation, power play dynamics, dacryphilia, slight infantilisation, throat fucking, blow jobs, cum play, facials, corruption!kink, praise!kink, fem!reader, mentions of boyfriend!sero and college!bakugou.

“suki, a-are you sure this is okay?”

your voice trembles as you lower yourself between bakugou’s thighs, both of them instinctively spread when your palms grip them with a slight nervousness. you’re so fucking stupid, so trusting but of course he’d never given you a reason to feel anything otherwise. your suki took care of you, an innocent girl from a small town— fresh look in her eyes from the moment you’d stepped onto campus.

of course you’d shaken more when you’d first met the blonde, he was big with dark and blood red eyes that spelled bad news if you didn’t look closely enough. and yet, you still trusted him because suki promised he would protect you from all the bad men and women and non binary folk on campus. he would always come swooping in to protect your chubby cheeks and doe eyed smile.

you always thought it was because he cared about you, your friends always told you that you were lucky your roommate even paid attention to you and suki always brushed away your doubts— but it was really because he dreamed of you, dreamed of taking away the very purity that shone within your bright eyes.

“‘course it’s okay princess, remember, suki always takes care of you. yer’gonna trust me, right?” bakugou reassures you, an evil glint hidden behind the soft smile he gives you while his large hand pats your cheek affectionately. his chest burns at how easily you lean into him, nuzzling his palm stupidly. you should consider yourself lucky that it’s katsuki who’s guiding your innocent hands to the tent in his pants and not some other guy from campus.

katsuki had seen the way they looked at you, watching the way your thick thighs bounced as you walked and their hungry eyes drifting down to your chest as you talked. it made him angry that other people looked at you as if you were just a piece of meat— which you were. but you were his little slab of ass and they needed to learn that. even your boyfriend; sero who made you cry twice a week over stupid things, needed to be taught a lesson.

after all; that’s how you ended up right where you were right now. between the legs of your roommate— drooling over your first cock like the dumb, hungry cock whore bakugou knew you really were. you wanted to learn how to make it up to sero and what better way to a man’s heart than a fuckin’ blowjob, right? the blonde had thought the best way to teach a virgin like you would be through a hands on experience.

he watches as the dark in your eyes takes over and your pupils dilate, fingers much smaller in comparison to the hard-on his pants hide. you palm bakugou lightly, mimicking the heavy petting your boyfriend had coaxed you into a few times before and watch with awe as your roommate shudders underneath your touch— a dark growl reverberating in his chest. “trust you,” you whisper quietly, the words slightly slurred as you begin to drool, growing hungry for your first taste of a real man. “b-but what if someone finds out suki, w-wont we get in trouble? what if sero—?”

leaning down to capture your lips, he pulls you into a honeyed kiss— grinning at the way your body leans into him, always so desperate for more. “no one will find out, sweetness, i won’t say anythin’ if you don’t,” he lives for the giggle that streams from between your lips and pats your cheek once when you look up at him earnestly. it was only a small lie, but bakugou would worry about that latter. “now how about’cha take out that cock ‘n i’ll show you how ta take it jus right.”

you nod so fast that you make yourself dizzier than you already are— the foreign feeling of lust building up at the forefront of your mind. katsuki could tell that you’d never seen a dick before, it was easy to tell from the way your bottom lip trembles at his sheer size alone; thick and weighty in a way that dwarfs your hand.

his tip is an angry shade of red that could rival that of his eyes, even while they drip with a desire to corrupt and ruin you. his mind runs wild with thoughts of bending you over the bed and fucking your virgin cunny until you’ve been given a proper reason to cry, the image of salty tears running down your hot cheeks alone causes fat drops of precum to ooze from the tip and onto your fingers.

“‘s big suki, dunno if i can take it,” you whine, lips pushing into a pout while your fingers say the opposite, hesitantly curling around bakugou’s thickness. he moans from deep within his chest at the sight of your hands barely able to close around him and bucks his hips up into your enclosed fist. you can’t help but watch, salivating at how beautiful your roommate looks while he fucks into your tight grip, spitting onto his own cock to ease the glide of your hand up and down him.

bakugou’s chest heaves, even as he starts leaning back on his elbows to get a better view— you’re doing so well for him, he can’t imagine letting you touch anyone else the way you touch him. you’re his and he plans on ruining everyone else for you. “you can. you will.” he spits out at you through gritted teeth, vermillion eyes hooded and voice authoritative. submissive as you are, you listen to him— because suki is never wrong, he knows best and if you listen to him you’ll learn well. “yer gonna start by gettin’ that mouth on me, kay sweetness? y’wanted to learn how to suck a cock butcha ain’t doin’ much suckin’.”

“but ‘suki—“

he doesn’t miss the way your hand freezes in hesitation and a nervousness takes over you— katsuki has already been so patient with you but that very patience is wearing thin, how is he going to teach you that he’s all you’ll ever need if you won’t fuck his cock like he’s asked. taking a fist full of your hair, the blonde drags you forward despite your whimpers and forces your mouth only inches from his twitching length.

“don’t you trust me sweetness? don’cha wanna get good at suckin’ dick... so your boyfriend don’t leave ya?” bakugou seethes, eyes swimming with darkness that almost scares you. you want to be good for him, nodding your head in compliance while tears sting at your pretty doe eyes. bakugou would apologise for that later, reassure you that you’re still his darling sweetness and that he never meant to make you cry but he can’t help the way his girth jumps at the view of your water eyes. your head jerks with every word he spits at you, frightened whimper sounding in your throat as you utter a weak ‘yes.’, only then does katsuki finally relent, bringing you close to his tip again and tapping it against your glossy lips. “that’s what i fuckin’ thought, princess. now open up.”

doing as you’re told, slowly take his engorged rip past plush lips— giving gentle kitten licks to the oozing centre. precum doesn’t taste as bad as you thought it would, maybe it’s because of katsuki and because of him the liquid is sweet against your tongue, making you eager to taste more. you feel so fucking good, albeit a little bit sloppy but a pleasured smirk burns against bakugou’s lips as you take him, your virgin mouth, hot and wet around him and if he didn’t know any better, he could cum in an instance.

“fuckin’ hell princess, that’s a good girl, y’sure you’ve never done this before...” he grunts out, fixated on the way you practically make out with his cock and the husky sound of his voice makes your innocent cunt flutter along with the praise. glancing up at the blonde above you, you moan at the way katsuki’s face contorts with pleasure— nothing like you’ve ever seen before and you desperately want him to make that face whenever you’re around. slurping noises fill the air as you practically make out with his cock— getting bolder and bolder with the way your tongue moves against him.

you make out with his cock like you’re kissing katsuki bakugou, he’d taught you that too.

his nails scratch against your scalp with every lap of your tongue to his length, mapping out the thick veins on the underside. you moan around him in a way that makes him shudder. the same hand in your hair moves to the back of your head, pushing you further down on bakugou’s cock and forcing more of himself down your tight throat.

“can’t believe no one’s thought to fuck your throat before, sweetness, s’fuckin’ tight. yer gonna let me use you right? yeah? you my good girl?” katsuki babbles mindlessly, intoxicated with the heat of your mouth and the way you sloppily drool all over him, a combination of your spit and his precum dripping between his weighty balls.

you’ve never made a man feel this good before, not even hanta has responded to your touch like this— and you could so easily become addicted to the way pleasuring katsuki makes you feel. the blonde’s hips jump up, cock hitting the back of your throat and you yelp on surprise— gagging at the unexpected and new feeling. hearing you gargle over his dick while you sloppily suck it down makes pride swirl in bakugou’s chest— accompanied by shallow thrusts deeper into your mouth.

what a mess he’s made of his sweet, innocent little roommate— he has you looking like pure sin as mixes of his arousal, your mascara and your tears cascade down your chubby cheeks like a waterfall. “fuck baby, suck me off, just like fuckin’ that, such a good fuckin’ girl for your suki...” he curses. “gettin’ close baby, why don’t you swallow for me— make me cum yeah?”

you do just that, attempting to bob your head up and down before swallowing around katsuki’s cock. you feel so proud of yourself when his hips and breathing stutter simultaneously— earning yourself a small victory. you want to be the reason your roommate cums, want him to be the course for his earth shattering pleasure...it’s the least you could do for the blonde after everything he’s taught you. this is your way of showing your gratitude for how much he’s taken care of you.

“gonna fuckin’ cum, gonna fuckin’ cum...atta girl sweetness,” bakugou praises you as your hand moves experimentally to squeeze at his balls, heavy with cum. his grip on you tightens and all he can think about is how pretty you’ll look when he’s stained your innocent, supple skin with all of his seed. he’ll mark you up as his, fuck your mouth so good that you’ll only ever drool over his cock. he wants you to long for him and only him. a strangled moan escapes katsuki when you let the spit gathered in your mouth, spew out against his girth and and all it takes is one sweet look from you before the cord in his stomach snaps.

“s-shit, fuck—oh god, fuck...” bakugou’s hips stall as he falls into orgasm, the world of colours flashing behind his vermillion eyes while his viscous hot seed fills your mouth and his dam of pleasure finally breaks. there’s not a thought in your mind as hot white paints your tongue, nothing aside from how good your roommate tastes and how much you yearn to taste him again.

not even sero comes to mind. he’s addictively sweet against your tastebuds and swallow every drop that katsuki has to offer— milking him for all of his worth and even lapping up the reminders of his release after he pulls from the confines of your mouth due to over sensitivity. “holy, fuck princess...” the blonde pants, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“did i do good, suki?” you ask with a muffled, sweet voice. your chin and cheeks are still messy with sticky globs of cum and the rims of your bambi eyes blackened with the traces of your eye makeup...you look like a fucking sin on legs and if he wasn’t so fucked out, bakugou would have claimed your mouth again.

using a thumb, and despite his breathlessness, bakugou leans forward and collects his arousal from your baby fat cheeks and pushes the digit past your cherry lips. he swears lowly as you eagerly suck on his thumb, cleaning it off as though you didn’t just take a mouthful of him already. “so good baby, suki’s s’fuckin’ proud of you, yeah?” he coos, patting your face softly before holding his arms out to pull you into his lap.

you wiggle happily at the praise, allowing yourself to be scooped up into your roomie’s arms as you whisper a small ‘thank you for teaching me, suki,’ to him. you’re so cute, so precious, curling in on the man like a defenceless baby before you fall asleep, a dirty mess in his arms. bakugou thinks to clean you up, but not before snapping a picture of your face dirtied with his cum.

you wouldn’t find out about it and it’s not like it mattered, you trusted your suki with all your heart...and even if he did send the picture to your boyfriend, hanta... it’s not like that mattered either— you’d thank him for it later, you always did after katsuki had taught you a lesson.

this would simply be a lesson to remind you, that you were always going to be his.

— TAGLIST: i didn’t tag you if i didn’t see an age in your bio lol

@bakugous-trauma @greenchild @luv-dum @souleatermia @younggoth136 @fullchonk @t0xic-todoroki @chou-maitresse @definitetrashlord

1K notes · View notes

idy-ll-ique · 4 years

Text

I'll Hold Mine.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Requested: Nope

Warnings: None

Genre : Pure fluff

Summary: Y/N has stuffed toys. She's ashamed of telling anyone else she has stuffed toys. Bucky doesn't understand why, they're so cute after all!

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Before you ask, yes, I was screaming the whole time while writing— this wasn't what you were gonna ask? Oh. Enjoy!

---

Bucky Barnes stared as the woman walked into the communal area, bleary eyed. "Y/N, good morning! Had a good night's sleep?" Clint asked her. Bucky quietly watched as Y/N nodded, but he knew she was lying. "Good morning to you two," she greeted them, giving them a small smile. Clint, about to walk out of the room, ruffled her hair and left.

"You're lying."

"Pardon?" Y/N blinked, staring at Bucky as she waited for her coffee to be prepared. "You didn't sleep well, I can see it all over your face," he rephrased, taking a sip of his coffee. "Fine, you caught me!" she groaned, "I didn't sleep last night." Bucky frowned when the woman plopped down next to him, clutching her mug with both hands.

"Why not? Is everything okay?" he asked worriedly. "It's embarrassing and I'm not going to tell you." She refused to speak after that. Embarrassing? Her? In his eyes, never. He didn't press on, though, silently offering his sad friend some company. When he heard a sniffle, he couldn't help it.

"Tell me what happened. I promise I won't judge you," he insisted, turning to look at her. "It's just— it's just that—" Y/N took in a shuddering breath. God, why was she making a fool of herself in front of her crush?! "Morning, people! Oh, oh no, I picked a bad timing—" Bucky and Y/N both turned to Tony, who slowly backed out of the room.

Nope, she wasn't doing it.

"I'm sorry, Buck," she mumbled, got up, kept her mug away and left. Bucky nearly crushed the mug he was holding, cursing Tony because why did he have to walk in just as Y/N was opening up to him?! He huffed and sat alone, drinking his coffee in misery.

The thing is, Y/N was great friends with everyone. She was loud, cheerful, funny and excruciatingly beautiful— you get the gist. Not with him, though. Around him, she was always quiet, shy, meek… submissive, in a way.

Hey Y/N, can you pass me that bottle?

If it were anyone else: "Your legs finally give up on you? About damn time." With him? "Yeah sure, here you go." She never, ever talked witty with him. Something about her was off… was she scared of him? Bucky's eyes went wide. Of course, that was it! Y/N Y/L/N was afraid of James Barnes! Why, though?

He was always so good to her. Nobody minded teasing Y/N, sometimes going too far but it was all in fun and Y/N knew that. Bucky, on the other hand…

Roast Y/N or finish the bottle of beer— you always drink when it comes to her, simp!

He could never. He had no idea what her insecurities were, what if he accidentally pushed a button and she stopped talking to him? At least they still made small talk, if she stopped talking to him, he didn't know how he would live. "Hey, everything okay?" Startled, he looked up at Steve.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat, "Everything is fine, what happened?" Steve sighed and sat next to his best friend. "It's Y/N, isn't it? I know the look on your face," he chuckled. "She was crying," Bucky spoke softly, "And she was about to tell me what happened but Stark walked into the room. Then she left without telling me."

"Why doesn't she talk to me?" he continued, intently staring at Steve. "I'd think that's fairly obvious," Steve laughed, "The woman loves you. Classic traits of a crush, Bucky. She limits her conversations with you because she doesn't want to embarrass herself. She never talks back to you because what if you start hating her?" Bucky blinked.

"Me? Hate her? Not possible," he scoffed. "You didn't find out why she was crying, right?" Bucky shook his head. "Why don't you go to the privacy of her room and find out? No one will interrupt you there, you might form a good bond and who knows? That might be the start of a beautiful, perfect relationship."

"I can't just go there like hey we were talking and you didn't tell me something so I've come to find out, that's invading her personal boundaries! She'll tell me when she's ready," Bucky spoke indignantly. "She hasn't eaten breakfast yet, there are some muffins in the oven, why don't you take those to her room?" Steve suggested.

After a minute of consideration, Bucky agreed.

---

Three short raps on the door.

"Y/N?"

Inside the room, Y/N froze. What was Bucky doing here? She glanced around her room, horrified, because it was a mess. "What happened?" she shouted from inside. "I brought you some breakfast, thought you might be hungry." She was hungry, though. "Wait 5 minutes!" Bucky patiently stood outside as Y/N made her room more presentable—

By hiding all her stuffed toys.

Some went in the wardrobe, some tossed carelessly under the bed, some stashed in the bedside drawer until she was certain there were no animals on display. "I'm so sorry," she whispered to the toys before opening the door to her room. "Bucky! Thank you for bringing me food, come in! Sorry, it's a mess."

Bucky waved his arm in dismissal as he walked in, looking around the room. "Your place is beautiful," he commented, giving her a small smile. She blushed and rubbed the back of her neck, shrugging. Both of them sat on the bed and Y/N picked up a muffin. "What do you wanna ask me?" At the blatant question, Bucky looked up.

"Why were you crying?" Y/N sighed and looked at her lap. "Sorry if it made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to," she muttered. "No, no, it did not make me feel uncomfortable, I wanna help you," Bucky answered, shaking his head. "It's…" "Embarrassing? We've been through that, I don't care." A small laugh escaped her lips.

"Fine, I'll tell you. Promise you won't laugh," she whispered. "I promise." Y/N huddled close to him in case someone was somehow listening to them. "I lost my favorite stuffed toy and can't find her." Bucky sat silently for a few minutes. That was her definition of embarrassing?! What's embarrassing about stuffed toys?

"Should I help you?" he offered immediately, smiling at her. "You don't think I'm crazy? I'm a grown woman who still has stuffed toys. Names and everything," Y/N exclaimed, her jaw dropped. Bucky shrugged. "Of course I don't think you're crazy. There is nothing shameful about stuffed toys, I think it's quite sweet."

"Really? Just when I thought you couldn't be more perfect—" Bucky laughed at her words. They quickly finished eating the muffins and then stood up. "Have you checked the whole room?" Bucky asked her. She nodded. "Yes! The drawers, the cupboards, the wardrobe, over and under the bed… she's nowhere."

"But have you checked the bathroom?"

A loud groan left Y/N. "That's it, the bathroom! Ugh, I was so sleepy last night but I had to pee so I went to the bathroom, might've forgotten her inside, how stupid of me! Damn it!" As she kept rambling to herself, Bucky walked into the bathroom and fetched the doll that was sitting atop the sink. "Here you go, doll."

Y/N looked up at the nickname. "Hah, doll. Just like the one you're holding," she joked, taking the doll from his hands. "Yeah," he whispered, "Just like the one I'm holding." Y/N froze when his arms went around her waist, pulling her close to him. Was this actually happening?!

Did her crush like her back?!

She wanted to scream. "Bucky?" she whispered as he continued staring down at her, a dazed look on his face. "Why are you so adorable, doll?" he asked instead, gently rubbing her bottom lip with his thumb. Y/N gulped at the shockwaves the action sent throughout her body. "You tell me," she retorted, her breath hitching when he smirked at her.

"Find your wits now?" he teased, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips before she could answer. Shivers ran down her spine as she kissed the man back, clutching her doll tightly in her arms. Without breaking the kiss, Bucky walked forward until the back of Y/N's knees touched the bed. "Sit," he ordered and Y/N complied, looking at him with wide eyes.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Sleep."

Y/N blinked, expecting a sexy response but instead she got— "What?" she asked him, confused. Bucky knelt in front of her, taking her hand in his. "You haven't slept all night, doll, I need you to sleep. This—" He gestured between them, "—Has lots of time to happen. For now, all I want is for you to get some rest. You've had a tough morning." Y/N's eyes watered.

"Don't go away."

The way she said it was enough to keep him by her side forever and always. "Never, doll. Come on." He picked up the plate which was lying on the bed, dusted the crumbs off and lay down. Y/N lay down next to him, clutching her doll in her hands. She turned to face away from him as he turned, wrapping an arm around her, spooning her from behind.

"Thank you Bucky, goodnight."

He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to her exposed shoulder. "Goodnight. You hold your doll, I'll hold mine," he whispered, smiling when the sound of soft snores filled the room.

---

"Aye, sweet doll!"

"She is, isn't she?"

"You know damn well I wasn't talking about your girlfriend, Barnes—" Y/N burst out laughing as Sam and Bucky narrowed their eyes at each other. "But I was! Sweet doll." Y/N scrunched her nose as Bucky pressed his nose to her cheek, the stubble on his face pricking her skin. "Thank you, Sam, that means a lot."

"No worries!" He plopped down next to Steve, who was looking at them with a smile. After Y/N got into a relationship with Bucky, she was opening up more. She was no longer embarrassed about her stuffed toys; these people were her friends and they stood by her side no matter what, no judgement. That's all she needed.

Clutching her doll to her bosom, Y/N snuggled against Bucky's chest, resting her head in the crook of his neck. "All okay?" Bucky whispered to her, wrapping his arm around her as he brushed her hair away from her face. "Yeah," she whispered as Tony walked into the room, immediately getting hit in the face by a deflating balloon, "All okay."

"I love you so much, doll," he smiled, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead as she closed her eyes. "I love you too, Bucky," she smiled into his shoulder, "I love you too."

"As cute as all this is, it's your turn to pick a movie, Y/N so please, pick a movie."

"Hmm, I'm not in the mood… how about you pick one, Peter?"

"No! No, anyone but him!"

"Come on, we haven't watched Frozen 2 in a long time—"

"Shut up! No! Maybe give your boyfriend a turn, he picks better movies!"

"Never have I ever been so offended by something I 100% agree with."

"What do ya say, doll? Give me a turn?"

"Sure Barnes, whatever."

"Ouch."

"Deserved."

"Breaking News! For the first time in the history of the world, we're witnessing Y/N Y/L/N actively roasting James Barnes—"

"I don't mind anymore, everyone knows he's gonna come running back to me in no time."

"Hot damn!"

"Come on now, doll, you wanna be punished so badly—"

"Ugh, keep dirty talk out of this!"

Needless to say, movie night went great.

---

A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a like if you enjoyed!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fluff #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan characters #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

1K notes · View notes

junova · 3 years

Text

𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞.

notes: howdy guys, it's been a while. i've been taking a break and finally starting writing again, yay. it's been a rough few months and still treading through it, but i hope you enjoy a piece of my heart with this one.

if it's any consolation, my heart broke while writing this. </3

pairing — boxer!steve rogers x fem!reader

concept — steve has to come with terms of you not wanting him just as much as he wants you.

wc — 6.7k+ [yeah...]

warnings: 18+, themes alluding to sex, emotional cheating, soft!steve, heartbreak, kind of unrequited vibe going on, over all ✨ angst ✨

Even if it was the thousandth time to watch his body move in the ring, you still were memorized by the way he moved. You were in complete admiration of how his hips flowed so fluidly through his punches. Just like always, he was aware of your presence as you stood next to Sam and Wanda, both of them with proud smiles on their faces as he defeated yet another opponent.

Watching as they raised his arm, declaring him as the champion, something he’d been striving so intensely for, the past few months. Even if his body was bruised and littered with the hits Rumlow had been able to mark his body with and not to mention the busted lip, making him taste the blood with nearly every swallow.

It didn’t matter because he had followed through with what he had set his mind out to do. The looks Rumlow was giving him after all the smack talk he had served him was satisfying enough. Even if he didn’t think you did, he saw you standing there alongside his friends, celebrating the win of his life.

He couldn’t but smile proudly at your presence, even if the disapproval you have against his lifestyle was well known between the two of you and everyone else in your friend group.

Steve knew you weren’t a fan of the injuries you brought home in your shared apartment, the nights you actually stayed there. With Jordan’s absence from New York, you’d been staying there more consistently than ever.

He would never admit it out right, but it made his heart full. With you home, he could protect and he worried wherever you weren’t there. Even if he knew you were fully capable of defending yourself if need be, it would always make him feel better when you were close to him.

Just like him, you could confess it even to yourself, but when you were back in the apartment you shared with Steve, you’d always felt safer.

He went straight to the locker room, to clean himself up as best as he could without making his friends and Tony wait too long. He’d usually go straight to them but the group took notice he held himself back when you were around.

The first match you went to and he came up with bruises running along both rib cages, a bloody nose accompanied by a busted lip, he immediately took notice of the way you cowered away from him. Barely even looking at him as you congratulated him. From then on out, he realized how much it bothered you to see him physically injured.

When you’d come, he’d always make sure to clean himself up before. It really worked out on the days he didn’t want to be around many people. Only the stragglers from the crowd would be left, and his friends who supported him nearly every time.

As soon as he made his way over to the group, he was met with Sam’s warm smile pulling him into a warm hug. You found yourself wincing as soon as Steve did. “Easy there big buy, bruises are still fresh.” Sam let up just a tad, before everyone was congratulating him. You stood back with Tony, watching the proud smile grow on his face as he watched his prodigy surpass his monumental goal.

“You should think about coming to more matches. He fights better when you’re here watching him.” You twisted your neck so you could see his coach more clearly who was standing right beside you. “I’m sure he plays just as well when I’m not here. I still watch them everytime, just from home when it’s too much for me to stomach.”

You looked forward away from Tony, Steve coming into your line of vision as Sharon, his ex who had surprisingly shown up to corral by his side, someone you’d hadn’t seen near him in the past few weeks since she’d been out of the country for work.

“His technique and endurance is the same, but his intensity always rises higher when you’re here. I’m not the only one who notices, maybe the only one bold enough to say it to you.” Tony spoke as watched the man he took in when Steve was just sixteen.

Truly, it made his heart swell with pride to see him reach the level of success he had been dreaming for him since the pair had met. Knowing Steve for the past five years, also made him hyper aware of the girl he never seemed to shut up about, not that you’d ever find out.

No matter how much Tony was dying to let the words slip off his tongue.

“I’m just happy to be here for him.” Keeping your words short as you watched Sharon move closer to him, her hand resting on his chest and he didn’t even move away from it. You tried to ignore the ugly shade of green rising in your chest, but with him it always seemed to show.

Not that you’d had a right to, you weren’t single or emotionally available by any means, but the thought of him being with someone who had hurt him so much made you more protective of him than you had a right to be.

“C’mon little dove, have you thought about why you’d rather stay in the dinged up apartment with Steve than be with your boyfriend of three years across the country?” He pressed harder, making sure you were careful of your response. “My friends are here and so is my family. I can’t just leave everyone I love behind.” Your gaze never left Steve’s as he finally was out of Sharon’s grip.

“Steve’s here, too. You sure it has nothing to do with him?” Part of you couldn’t stand there with Tony and lie to him because you weren’t sure what was the nature of your relationship with the boxer.

Thankfully, you were saved from responding by the devil himself as made his way over to the two of you. Much to your dismay, he had to get in a few more words before Steve was in earshot. “Just think about why Steve lives with you when he’s had more than enough to move out for a while now.”

Before you could even process the words leaving his mouth, your favorite man in the ring immediately has you wrapped up in his arms. Holding you so close and so tightly, not even caring if it put more pressure on his lungs than he wished.

“Congrats on the win, Champion. I’m so proud of you.” The arms you had around him were placed gently, too afraid to put any weight on the new bruises. Not to mention the old ones which were still healing.

Once he pulled away from you, just enough so you could look at him. He hummed at Tony and with one nod of his head he knew when the young boxer wanted to be left alone. More times than not, it is usually with you.

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight. Isn’t Jordan in town?” Not even when it was the biggest moment of his career thus far did he care to indulge in his victories. Always it seemed to be looking after you.

“Stevie, this is your night. We don’t have to talk about me — we’re always talking about me.” For a moment he almost bought your act until he looked into those dazzling eyes of yours, ones he never seemed to grow tired of in the past few years.

“I’m not happy unless you’re happy. So, if you need a night where we just watch romcoms and chow on cookie dough ice cream, you know I’m all yours.” Unknowing to the two of you, everyone of your friends was watching the encounter and still couldn’t believe you still were with your current boyfriend.

Or that Steve was just waiting for you patiently. Something that didn’t come easy for him around women. Before you, he didn’t really do relationships with women that didn’t end with him in their bed at some point. Somehow, much to everyone’s dismay, he managed to keep his interactions platonic with you.

At least in their eyes.

“No, Stevie. I’m fine. He just didn’t follow through this time. It’s not the end of the world, I’ll be fine. Tonight, I just wanna be by your side and celebrate you.” Although, he didn’t really believe you Steve decided he would let it go.

“Regardless of it, thank you for coming tonight. Means the world to me.” It really did. Even more so, when he felt like he was one of the reasons you were still in Brooklyn and not in California living with your boyfriend instead.

“Oh, hush bubba. You’re getting so soft on me and you haven’t even had a proper drink in you yet. Let’s just celebrate with our friends, yeah?” You kissed his cheek sweetly, before you were off to Bucky and Nat’s place to get properly fed and surely get Steve drunk off his ass.

It really was the elephant in the room you were choosing to ignore. The fluttering feeling of adventurous butterflies traveling to spaces you didn’t know existed. Everytime he pulled you close to his side or kissed your temple.

When Bucky would do something monumentally stupid, he would whisper a line in your ear humorous enough to hear you laugh. Even right now, when you knew he was exhausted, muscles sore and aching — Steve was still tending to whatever you needed.

In this moment, your body nestled between his legs as he draped his arm across your chest, letting him hold you close was exactly what you needed. Even if you tried to remove yourself several times because of the new injuries, he would never let you.

“What’s next, Rogers?” Steve watched as he craned his neck towards Sharon. You’d almost forgotten she was here, she’d been so quiet most of the night.

“A whole lot of rest and then in a few weeks, right back into training.” He spoke with pride because winning the title went hand and hand with defending it. “You should come to the club. Danielle’s been itching to see you, again.”

Steve grimaced, not just as Sharon’s words, but with how stiff your body became. The way you rubbed back and forth with the tip of your fingers against his forearm came to a halt.

You weren’t really sure what to do because now you felt horrible for even feeling like you had a right to be upset in the first place. Because you didn’t. You weren’t single and Steve was. In this space in time, he did nothing wrong.

When you followed Nat back into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, away from him, it felt like he had made a mistake.

Just watching as you followed Nat up the pathway, in your pretty green dress, as you messed with the necklace adoring your neck. Something he learned you did when you were anxious.

“Why would you bring that up now? In front of her?” He was slightly pissed off she had driven you away and out of his arms. Steve would have you within his grip constantly if you would let him. Not that you did, but it was still a certain something he found himself wishing for. More than not though, someone else always seemed to hold your attention whenever he wasn’t in the ring.

Jordan. Tony. Sam. Natasha. Bucky. Wanda.

Tonight had seemed it might go in a different direction, until Sharon steered your mind elsewhere. One where you were a girl who missed her boyfriend. Or at least that’s what he thought.

Unknowingly to Steve, Jordan was the last thing on your mind, which allowed the guilt to settle in. Maybe, just this one time it was rightfully placed. The thoughts you were having scared you senseless — making you want to do something you knew you shouldn’t.

You just sat there on the padded bar tool as Nat grabbed a bottle of white with a bottle of red. Like time and time again, Nat read your mind just as she often did. “So, why couldn’t he come this time?” She drilled into you, her iridescent daggers as piercing as ever.

“He said he forgot his mother asked him to help her move out of the house. He said he’d make it up to me some other time.” Just like always.

But you held your tongue before voicing it to anyone other than yourself. It’d been months since you’d seen him in the flesh, and it was the first time he spoke to you in days when he informed you he’d been unable to spend any of his time off with you.

“He’s just never here and he keeps asking for me to move to Los Angeles, but my whole life is here. Before, he never seemed to really pressure me. He was always patient with me to travel at my own pace but I think he ultimately thought I would eventually go there with him.” You breathed out, scared of the truth dripping right out of you.

“I just-, you know what? Nevermind. It’s isn’t important.” She was never one to bite her tongue, but she found herself trying to when your feelings were involved.

“Tell me. What is it?” Your curious, bambi eyes peering into your soul, dying to pull the confession right out of her.

“Do you even miss him when you’re apart for so long? I’m not judging but it just seems like you’re okay. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but why don’t you ever go to him or Jordan to you?” Natasha spoke softly, afraid she might be poking the bear just a bit.

“Of course I miss him. I would see him if I could. I’m just a little too busy right now with work and my family.” You attacked back, feeling the need to defend yourself.

“Are you really going to make me say it?” With both bottles of wine on the counter, she went to grab three more wine glasses — for Sharon, herself, and you.

“Say what? What the hell are you talking about?” You pushed her as she put out the bottles of wine as she managed to link the three vines of the glasses in her left fingertips. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She was regretting it now, because maybe you weren’t quite ready to hear the words everyone else knew to be true. Anyone who was around the two of you could see it.

Perhaps, Nat never spoke a word of it because at the very least, she thought you wouldn’t be as naive to see his feelings. The ones he seemed to offer you on a silver platter, whether you wanted to reject or accept the offering, giving it to you wholeheartedly.

Following her out the patio door where the two of you stopped, not moving a step further. She didn’t really say anything either. Letting you bask in the glow before the fall.

He was laughing so hard, his hand clutching his chest as him. Golden hair shining bright by the fire pit, almost as

lively as his smile. Even if it looked like his spirit could have been beaten out of him tonight, he’d never show it.

When he had trouble keeping his eyes open, he’d force himself to stay alert because moments he could spend with ones he loved seemed too precious to pass up. Especially over the past few months — he didn’t even have to think twice about it.

Through the schedule Tony had him on, his life was eating, breathing, living boxing. Training every day in the gym, whether it be furthering his techniques in the gym to Tony making him regret any mistake he made in the ring.

Even some days he was just weight training when Tony told him he could rest. He couldn’t though. Not when he could taste the sweetness of his dreams on the tip of his tongues.

Every day, dawn till dusk, training consumed every moment of his time. Steve thought his body was restless before, but now? Nothing came even close to this.

Leading Steve to be blissfully unaware of what was actually going in that fantastically bold head of yours.

“Just spill it, Romanov.” You pressured her, but your eyes were too weak to redirect your directions elsewhere. Only Steve holding your attention at one.

“Remember when Steve left for Spain for three months with Tony?” Your body stilled, having a feeling you knew where this was going. Regretting you told her what had happened with Steve in the first after promising him it would just stay between the two of you.

“It was the year Jordan and I had split for two months.” The memory of what happened always clouding your better judgement. The way his eyes shined still haunted you. “Steve had already been there a month when it happened and the second I told him he insisted on flying me out.”

Looking at him fondly, across the greenery before speaking so softly as if he was right next to you, “I could never say no to him. I still can’t.” Nat tried to ignore it but she could see through the fog of your first love fading even if you were trying your hardest to avoid the inevitable heartache.

The care you held for him was oozing out of you, bursting and breaking at the seams. When you kept thinking of him more than a roommate, more than a friend.

“Dove, you can’t just keep pretending your feelings don’t exist. The more you try to bury the root deep the more it will grow.” You knew she was right, but you really didn’t want to hurt anyone.

You supposed you were already causing pain unintentionally. “His biggest insecurity is him. Jordan thinks I’m still here because of him.” You confessed, the ongoing fight no secret to anyone, really.

“Aren’t you?” Maybe if you had been a better liar, you could’ve convinced her but everyone could read you like the back of your own hand.

You hated the spotlight she was putting on you, but even more so because she was right. Moving forward with Jordan meant leaving someone else behind, something you couldn’t seem to prepare yourself to do.

“I love Jordan. He’s my first love and I thought he would be the greatest one, too.” You really want to stop the love and admiration flowing out of you, but you couldn’t choose who you love and maybe it was time for you to stop fighting it.

“Then, I met Steve. He responded to the ad I put out for the spare room in my apartment and we met for coffee.” If you had listened to your mother, her wishes of you not to be in the company of a man who was a complete stranger, you’d never meet the most important person in your life.

“He looked more like a boy back then. Clean shaven. No beard. Steve was still muscular, but not nearly as toned as he is now. But his eyes? They pulled me right in. Still do, every damn time.” You should have held some sort of shame, but you didn’t.

“You should do something about it, Dove. He isn’t going to be single forever.” Nat questioned as you followed her lead, back to the roaring fire.

“Nat, I love Jordan. I could never do that to him.” You really couldn’t, but you also couldn’t find it in you to move with him either. “I know you love him, but you aren’t in love anymore.” Growing closer and closer, back to the group, you saw him clearly.

“What do you mean?” Trying to ignore the pain in your chest as Natasha spoke. “I think you’re scared of ending it with Jordan. Dove. I’ve known you for a long time now and I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you do with Steve.”

The words spilling out of her lips left you a little broken — the truth spearing you through. She wasn’t wrong, not one bit. Nat never nearly was, especially when your feelings were involved. Steve had become such an enigma to you in the past year.

The line of platonic friendship and overflowing emotional intimacy was becoming too entangled for you to even comprehend.

“Just think about it. I just want you to be happy.” The rest of the night, it’s all you could think about. A few days passed and it was still in the forefront of your mind.

When Steve was walking home with you this week, you couldn’t stop wondering all the hypotheticals swarming inside your dreams.

He could tell, too.

You’d never been so quiet, not ever. He’d like to hear you, especially when you were drunk. Like you seemed to be now, at least to him but tequila that lit a fire in your chest a few hours ago was beginning to wear off. Just when the feelings you kept trying to avoid would seep there way back in like your furry, fat cat Thor when he wormed his body through the gate into the apartment.

“What’s wrong? You’ve seemed off this week.” You felt his hand kiss yours, but he didn’t bother to find it’s home. He’d been keeping his distance or at least been trying to. You'd been so vulnerable lately and the last thing he wanted to do was exploit that.

Ever since Sharon had made a comment about Danielle, and you escaped with Nat, something changed. You more guarded around him, more than you'd ever been since you met.

Steve knew there was a reason for it, but he didn't want to push you — not when it looked like you would combust into a breakdown at any given moment.

“I’ve just been thinking about where my life is going and where I want it to go.” You confessed, letting your words linger. “Jordan wants me to move with him to California and I’m running out of reasons to say no.” In perfect harmony, your eyes met his at the same time.

They weren’t joyful what his bright blues usually possess, but this time they were indifferent. Not even you could read them.

“Do you want to move there with him?” Steve asked you, his heart on the verge of dropping into his stomach. “If it will make you happy, you should.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, you watched him drift away from you.

“I don’t know. It might.” Both of you coming to a halt, walking up to the apartment the two of you shared.

“He’s insecure about you. It’s why he’s pressuring me.” The two of your bodies so close but so far away as you stood in the doorway. With a confusing gaze and pouty lips, practically guiding you into temptation.

“He used to always tell me you were in love with me. He was fully convinced, still is. I never thought so. You were just my best friend, that was it. I just never really thought about it unless Jordan brought it up.” You would have loved to blame your sudden outburst on the alcohol, but it was something you'd been dying to do.

Before you never had the guts, but you a felt a pull towards Steve lately, like maybe there was something more trying to burst under the seams.

“I thought Tony was bullshitting me, fucking with me, but I didn’t ever give it a thought. Then, Nat brought up Spain.” Nights you told yourself were a mistake, but deep down it was the probably the safest you felt in a long time.

“What are you talking about? What did Tony say?” Fetching for the key, he slid it in before opening the door for you and following you inside. “Steve, why do you still live here?” Blushing cheeks and a string of incoherent words was all you could make out from him.

As he headed for the small couch, trying to make up an excuse good enough. One which you’d actually believe, he hoped.

“You make four times as much as me, if not more. For some reason, you’ve decided to stay in this shithole apartment — it doesn’t make sense.” He wished you would make sense of it, that way he didn’t have to say a word.

“Do you want me to move out?” He questioned, watching your movements. If you wanted him to move out, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

It was the last thing you wanted, but the line between your friendship with him was always blurred. Only now, when it was vaguely pointed out by the two people close to the both of you — it became more apparent than ever.

“No, I just, I guess I’m asking why. You know you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you’d like, but this place is a dump, Steve. Why on earth would you wanna stay here?” When he looked up, where you stood above him having a hard time biting his tongue.

Because you’re here.

It’s what he wanted to say, but he didn’t have the right and he would just be an asshole if he put you in a compromising position. He already felt guilty enough with his feelings in the first place, he didn't need to pile on.

“I guess it’s just easier to stay. It’s so close to the ring and I’m maybe a tad too comfortable.” You sat next to him on the couch. Finding yourself trapped in the green of his eyes. “Don’t you want something better?” Maybe it was him or maybe it was you. Neither of you could tell.

The two of you inched closer until Steve was caressing your thigh, just with the tip of his thumb. “I’m more than happy with where I’m at.”

“Well, I’m asking because I need to go to California. Just for a bit. I need to see Jordan, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him.” He didn’t stop touching, not even with the mention of his name.

Even if it pierced him every time you talked about him. Or when Jordan came to town, he felt like he didn’t exist to you.

He didn’t blame you, not at all. Jordan was your highschool sweetheart, and you wanted so badly for it to work but something was holding you back. Something you were trying to let go of.

“He loves me so much and wants to start building this whole new life, but how am I supposed to tell him?” Steve said nothing, letting you sink into the ground.

“He’s been nothing, but kind and loving. Always there, always supportive. The best partner I could have asked for.” Steve laced your hand in his like it was the most natural thing in the world, making butterflies erupt at full speed.

You couldn’t really pinpoint a moment when he started, but all you knew is how safe his warm, calloused hands made you feel. Since the moment you met, never failing to comfort you when needed.

“Then what’s the problem, Dove?” Steve questioned you, untangling his body from yours.

If he was going to help you, he needed to think and being so close to you wouldn’t get himself where you needed. Above all, you didn’t make any easier when a small whine left your throat — tugging at his heart strings.

“We never talk about what happened in Barcelona.” You watched his body tighten, muscles in his arm constricting.

It made him feel just as uneasy as it did to you. At least you could find comfort in that.

“Dove, there’s a reason for it. You and I both know it.” Steve was right. His self righteous sense of nature always kicked in when you wanted it the least.

“You don’t think about it? Because I do.” Pushing weight on his heart, you were very aware you held. You weren’t too naive to know just how much he cared for you, but coward enough to try and make him admit it first.

“You were broken up, things are different now. We’re home where you have a boyfriend and I have boxing.”

“Yes, where I have a boyfriend who wants me to abandon everything I hold close to me to join him without even bothering to ask me what I want.” You puffed out, exhaustion coming in overflow. “The past year, he hasn’t once asked me what I want.”

The boy with golden locks found himself wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, nurse you back to health with all the love he could offer.

But even he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t keep on spreading himself thin over a woman who was so conflicted, so distraught she was collapsing within herself. If he wasn’t too careful, he might fall right beside you.

“Before we got back together, he asked me.” You confessed, feeling better as soon as the secret flew from your mouth. “He asked you what?” Steve pressed on, a bit terrified of it truly, but even he had to know.

“He asked if anything happened between us the months I was there and I lied. Ever since we met, he’s been insecure. He thinks I’m going to leave you for him and it wasn’t the first time he asked either.” You wish you hadn’t dealt with the two of them so poorly, but with the expression on Steve’s face you knew you had.

“He knows I lied and it hurts even more he stayed with me anyways.” Steve didn’t move, his fear keeping him still.

“I don’t know how to be his after you, but I don’t know how to let go of my high school sweetheart either.” You felt trapped, in between an impossible decision. An old love, who loves you past your mistakes, past the hurt and a soulful heart admiring you from where you’re at and nothing less.

“Those nights don’t have to mean anything if you don’t want them to.” He spoke softly, his beautiful orbs catching yours in the moonlight peeking through the window.

“They mean too much to me, that’s the problem.” If he didn’t move as you inched closer to his body, planting yourself in front of him, you could tell he was straining himself.

“Do you remember the first time?” He looked confused, wondering if you truly were bold enough to speak of something you shouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Your hand found his chest, feeling the pulse of his rapid heart beat. “I was so shy and timid the first time with you, but you guided me so well.” Too fond of the memory of him worshipping every part of your body.

The very thing he wanted to do since the moment he met you, but Steve wanted more than that. Now more than ever.

“You don’t have to remind me, Dove. I remember.” He swallowed deeply, trying to erase the permanent memory of your body writhing beneath him, moaning out his name, begging him for more.

He still found himself thinking about it. Those two months with you had just amplified what he felt even more because now he knew what it was like for you to wake up in his arms, bare skin against his own.

The way you curled into his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist for optimal comfort.

Or when he’d wake up before you, which was most days, he’d find you murmuring his name in your sleep while soft fingertips caressed your skin lulling you into a more peaceful slumber.

“I never forget, Dove. That’s the problem.” With one finger, he pushed back the hair falling in your face tucking it behind your ear. “I tried to move past it, I went on a couple dates with this woman, Danielle.” You already felt your heart clench at the thought of him with someone else.

“She’s kind, smart, and beautiful and she seems to like me. Sharon keeps bugging me to take her out again since she set the two of us up.” Steve was trying to talk calmly, but he couldn’t ground himself. Especially when you only seemed to pull back further from him.

It was weird that Sharon set the pair up, considering she dated Steve not too long ago but it seemed she could put her feelings inside if it was for your despair.

In her daunting eyes, you were the reason her and the promising boxer broke up in the first place. As cliche as it was, she offered Steve an ultimatum after six months of dating — her or you.

Steve picked you.

It wasn’t like he loved her at that point. He did care for her, but you just meant too much to him. When kind, iridescent eyes met his own for the first time Steve never was able to stop thinking about them. Or you for that matter.

Carefully calculated as Steve could be, he managed to trap you between the closed door of his bedroom and his toned body.

“But I want to hear you say something before I do.” His gaze never faltered for a moment as he played with the hem of the short slip dress adoring your taut figure.

Half of your mind was begging you to retreat into your room and forget the last time you’d been pressed up against him like this. The other half wanted to see what he would do once he knew you were in the palm of his hand once again.

You had a feeling he already did.

His beard was grown out and his silky, golden hair that almost reached his shoulders make him look even more deliciously sinful.

“What’s that?” You tried not to gulp loudly, but if you even made the slightest movement, he would notice. “Tell me you’re in love with him.” His soft thumb caressing your side, not sure if he was trying to soothe himself or you.

“Just tell me five years down the line, you see him right there with you. Just say it, so I can move on.” He couldn’t even look at you, he couldn’t take the inevitable. “Tell me we’re just friends and Jordan’s your future.” You met his eyes, the prettiest blues you’ll ever see.

Commanding your attention without even trying — every damn time. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but you knew seeing him hurt was chipping a piece of you away. Watching his arched eyebrows furrowed in distress, fine lines being made in the middle for proof.

Soft fingertips met his skin, smoothing out his furrowed brows, closing his eyes trying to remember what you smelled like. Just like Sharon reached her breaking point, he had too. Steve couldn’t watch you any longer without being the one you wanted without a doubt.

“Stevie.” You softly whisper, before pulling him into your arms.

Even if he was double your size, he let you hold him as best as you could. Comfort him even if you were the reason he’s breaking.

The strong, persistent boxer had been transported back to the sick and thin kid he once was before all the guns and glory came. Steve was right back to where he got rejected by anyone and everyone. A time and many places where no one gave a damn about Steve Rogers, not anyone he wished for.

You watched him untangle himself from you, but you weren’t sure just how much time had passed. A few minutes? Thirty? An hour?

Only time could tell and she wasn’t really on your side at the moment.

“I’ve only found love once. Back in high school, there was this girl, Hazel. She was kind, sweet, eyes that shined like fresh honey. The first person to ever show any interest in me and I was in love with the fact that someone actually wanted me.” Steve felt his heart clench at the memory he wished to forget.

“I truly believed I loved her with every fiber in me and I thought she cared about me too, until I realized she was just using me to get to Bucky.” You watched the distress wash over him again and you wanted nothing more than to make him feel appreciated and loved. Not rejected and forgotten.

“It broke my heart for months because I truly believed I was in love with this girl who I hardly knew.” He sighed deeply, like he somehow already was aware of the soft whisper of goodbye.

“It always kind of stayed with me, not ever feeling like I was good enough for anyone until Tony found me. Graduated high school and I started training dawn till dusk until I couldn’t anymore just to start all over and do it the next day.” He was looking everywhere but you. Even if there was not a thing in this damn hallway, but two pressured hearts.

“Not too long after, I met you and I remember thinking this is the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met in my life.” Now, feeling like an absolute dick because you truly didn't deserve for this wonderful man to be in your life.

“You were so kind to me and you had no reason to be, but I learned it’s just who you are. This amazingly bright full beam, shining their light on everyone else — not paying attention to how much they give even if it’s everything they have.” Your skin felt hot beyond comparison, the passion in the words he spoke deeper than the memory of his skin against your own.

“I always tried to ignore it, how stupidly kind and thoughtful you are. How much you take care of me when you don’t have to. You cleaned my wounds for months without even asking me what I was doing.”

“I already knew you had a boyfriend, one you love very much, but I couldn’t stop myself from being around you. Now, I have to leave. I need to move on for me because I know how this ends for me — how it always has.” He sighed before walking away, leaving you hanging in every conceivable way. You didn’t notice the suitcase by the door before. Until he was walking out of the apartment with his possessions in hand — out of sight and out of mind.

“Wait!” He was already making it to his car, the old beat up pickup truck he couldn’t seem to get rid of when you reached him. “I just need time, Steve.” You’d been sprinting after him, until you caught up to him, making his attention fully focused on you.

“Jordan’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had — I don’t know how to let him go.” You were crying because maybe, deep down you were hoping you could have your cake and eat it too.

“And you’re the only person I’ve ever been in love with, Dove. I can’t keep sticking around hoping you’ll wake up one day and feel the same.” He emptied his belongings in his truck before returning his attention towards you.

“Steve, don’t do this. Please. Don’t leave me.” You’d become so dependent on him, more than you realized. “You’re the only person who truly loves me and not for who they want me to be.” Trying to plead with him, but it felt like you were only pushing him even further away.

“Then tell me I’m the only one you want.” But all he was left with silence because you couldn’t and he already knew what you didn’t. He knew you hated change more than anything, that you’d rather stay in what was comfortable even if you were presented with a different option.

Someone you wanted more.

With tears in your eyes, you looked up at him like he was crushing you and there was nothing to stop the numbing feeling. He sympathized, maybe more than he liked to admit, it’s what he chose to live with over the past year. It started the moment he met you if he was truly being honest.

He knew there was nothing left for him, no matter how much his heart clenched at the sound of your cries. He couldn’t be the one who was always taking care of you, loving you, when you didn’t feel what he felt. It was splitting him open, and you just kept taking pieces of him away — parts of him you would hold forever.

He let you cling onto him one more time, begging for him not to leave you. He let you believe he wouldn’t as he calmed you back in a false sense of security. Until you were asleep in his soft sheets later that night, leaving you lonely in the home you’d been sharing.

With only half of his belongings with him, he pulled up to the project he had just completed. Even now, with not a single hope you would ever see it after he just abandoned you, there was still a light hope you’d be able to at least see it one day. If Steve was ever strong enough to face his heartbreak again.

595 notes · View notes

johnnysnostril · 3 years

Text

makeup sex with nct 127 | part three [18+]

doyoung, jaehyun & jungwoo

“leave me alone.” i mumbled as i tossed my phone on the passenger seat of my car. i watched as the screen shut off completely before looking out towards the windshield.

this was my happy place.

the ocean.

i loved it here- i alway came here to think and just relax.

as i got out the car, i wrapped myself in my cardigan- feeling the cold breeze against my skin. i took my time walking out to the sand, taking off my sandals as the concrete ended.

i tip-toed to the shore and sat close enough to the water, just to get my feet wet.

as the thought of doyoung with another woman ran through my head, i tucked my knees into my chest and hugged myself.

being insecure was going to be the death of me. he knew i had trust issues, but he promised to help me work through this.

they just looked like they knew each other too well.

i didn’t even notice that an hour went by, until the sun started setting.

“mm, i should probably head back..” i said to myself.

“you’re a terrible hider.” i heard doyoung’s voice say. i could tell he was smiling.

“who said i was hiding?” i said keeping my eyes on the water.

he was silent for a moment.

as he sat down next to me, he stretched his legs out and sighed.

“how’d you even find me?” i finally said.

doyoung chuckled.

“you always come here, babe.”

i rolled my eyes at how well he knew me.

moving in front of me, he positioned himself so i was sitting in between his legs.

“baby, i’m sorry.” he began. “i was stupid to think that the performance wouldn’t trigger you. i didn’t think at all, actually. i’m sorry.” he voiced in a low tone.

i kept my eyes down.

“i had to see things from your prospective and now i understand- i would be upset too if i was in your shoes.”

“i’m not just being dramatic, you know?” i replied. “i can’t help it sometimes- i just don’t wanna see you with someone else..” i whispered. “and i understand. i wouldn’t wanna see you with anyone but me.” doyoung took my hands and laced our fingers.

“i’m new at this boyfriend stuff-“ he smiled. “i promise, i’ll get it right one of these days. be patient with me, please.” he pleaded. “look at me-“

our eyes met and he smiled.

“i love you. i’m not going anywhere, okay? you got me. i promise you’re the only one i want.”

i fell to pieces on the inside.

suddenly, i found myself climbing into his lap- resting my cheek on his shoulder. doyoung wrapped his arms around me and squeezed tightly. “do you forgive me?” he whispered. i nodded and gently kissed his neck. “i just miss you all the time, you know?” i whined. “i know baby. and i miss you too. let me make it up to you.” he said rubbing my back. i pulled away, looking right at him. “how are you going to do that?” i asked.

he softly smirked, pushing me on my back to lay in the sand. doyoung hovered over me and pressed his lips against mine. i smiled against his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck.

this felt like heaven.

immediately, i felt him getting excited. chuckling, i bit his bottom lip.

“i’m sorry- i can’t help it. i really missed you.” he groaned as i released his lip. “show me how much, baby.” i said unbuckling his belt. without hesitation, he slipped his hand under my dress and ripped off my thong. i squealed and watched as he took over the removal of his belt and pants.

sex on the beach.

lining himself up, he slid right in and my breathing hitched. to keep me from moaning too loud, he reconnected our lips- slipping his tongue in my mouth as he began to pump slowly.

giving jae the middle finger from across the room, i slipped my phone in my back pocket and folded my arms across my chest. he furrowed his brows and smiled a bit. i guess he really didn’t think i was being serious, but i was.

the dance teacher thanked everyone for coming after his little speech. everyone clapped and thanked him for his work.

as i collected my things, i made my way out the door in a quick manner.

“hey! wait-“ i heard jaehyun’s voice call out.

i kept going.

“babe!” he laughed as he caught up with me.

he back hugged me and kissed my shoulder. “get away from me!” i said pushing him off. “woah, why are you so angry?” jae moved in front of me as i approached the door. “you’re such a jerk- move.” i said slapping his chest.

walking out to his car, i waited by the passenger side door, for him to unlock the vehicle.

“babe.” he groaned as he spun me around by my waist to face him. “what did i do?” jae tried to lean down and kiss me but i pushed his face away. “you were flirting with those girls- i watched you for 15 fucking minutes.” placing his hands over his chest, he shook his head. “i was not flirting with anyone. that, i can promise you.” he said with a serious face.

i rolled my eyes and turned to face the car, yanking on the door handle. “just take me home.” i demanded. “wait- stop it.” he said grabbing my hand, making me face him once again. “i really wasn’t flirting with anyone-“ he repeated. “then what were you doing jaehyun? are you telling me that i’m just imagining you flirt with other females?” i shouted. he smiled, his dimples making their appearance. “you’re so sexy when you’re mad.”

“fuck you.” i said yanking on the door again.

jaehyun swiftly grabbed my waist, unlocking the car and tossing me in the backseat. he climbed in behind me, closing and locking the door.

pushing me back against the seats, he smashed his lips into mine. i pushed him back and he chuckled. “you can’t just kiss me and expect everything to be okay.” i said frustrated.

jaehyun was silent for a moment before parting his lips.

“you don’t get it-“ he started. “it’s always going to be you, babe.” he gently pressed his lips into my forehead. “i swear to god that you are the only person i wanna be with. i see myself spending the rest of my life with you. why would i do anything to fuck up the best thing thats ever happened to me?” he continued. “baby, i love you. and i mean that.”

he was actually being serious now.

his eyes searched for mine as i looked off to the side. jae kissed my lips and smiled. “it’s so cute when you get jealous. i love it.” he admitted.

“i wasn’t jealous.” i lied. “yes, you were. but that’s okay-“ he mumbled, kissing down my neck. he knew that was my sweet spot.

i instantly wrapped my arms around his neck and slightly smiled. “you’re still in trouble.” i whispered. “i like being in trouble.” he growled.

slipping his hand into my shorts, he made his way past my underwear and pressed his fingertips into my clit.

i packed up my belongings and wiped away the tear that fell from my eye.

throwing everything in the trunk, i slammed it down and leaned against my car.

i loved jungwoo so much but sometimes his timing was so bad. i knew what i got myself into when we first started dating- but he promised he would try and spend as much time with me as possible.

he had two rest days before going back on tour and he promised to spend those two days with me. although it wasn’t his fault that they had a last minute recording session, i did expect him to at least have lunch with me.

climbing into the drivers seat, i sat in the parking lot for a few minutes- which turned into an hour and a half. i just sat there. staring out the window.

was this really what i wanted?

making my way home, i pushed myself through the front door and furrowed my brows.

something was off.

i took off my shoes before stepped onto the carpet and made my way to my bedroom.

“surprise!” jungwoo yelled as i pushed open my door.

i jumped and screamed, closing my eyes.

he laughed and clapped his hands before coming over to hug me. “i’m sorry babe, i just couldn’t resist.” jungwoo chuckled. i playfully slapped his chest and giggled a little. “you’re such a jerk! why would you do that?” i looked up at him as he towered over me. his soft hands cupped my cheeks and he planted soft kisses on my lips, smiling. “it was a surprise.” he mumbled.

i huffed and pushed him back a little, taking my place on my bed and laying down. he immediately joined me, cuddling up next to me and nuzzling into my neck. “i’m actually really mad at you.” i said. jungwoo looked up from his little spoon position, giving me puppy dog eyes. “whyy?” he whined. “because, you promised to have lunch with me. i know sometimes you get busy and can’t do things- but, you-“ jungwoo interrupted me with a kiss and i whined.

he wiggled his way up, pulling me into his chest and wrapped his leg around mine. “i don’t wanna fight, baby. i know i’m an idiot. i need to find a way to spend more time with you.” he groaned.

i was silent.

“what about going on tour with me?” he said excitedly. looking up at him, i furrowed my brows. “and how would my bills get paid?”

jungwoo paused for a moment.

“you know you could stay with me in the dorm, right?” he admitted. i immediately shook my head. “i don’t wanna live with all boys.”

climbing on top of me, jungwoo hovered over my body. “we can make it work, baby. i just think that’s the only way that we can spend more time together.” he mumbled as he pecked my face multiple times. i wrapped my arms around him and sighed. “let’s just talk about this later, please.” i whispered, kissing his ear. “i just want you-“

jungwoo pulled back a little and smiled. “if you want me to blow your back out, just say that.” he gently sank his teeth into my bottom lip and pulled. i moaned softly and blushed.

“that’s exactly what i want-“ reaching down a little, i slipped my hand into his pants and ran my fingertips across his length.

#nct scenarios #nct fanfic #nct imagines #kpop fanfic #nct 127 #nct doyoung #nct jaehyun #nct jungwoo #nct 127 smut scenarios #nct 127 smut #nct 127 fan stories #nct 127 stories #johnnysnostril #nct doyoung smut #nct jaehyun smut #nct jungwoo smut

245 notes · View notes

whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years

Text

Coughing in the Bathroom (Eyeless Jack X F!Reader)

🌸 Coughing in the Bathroom

[Eyeless Jack X F!Reader]

[Warnings: Slight blood, slight language, slight alcohol, emotional cheating]

Part 2

In the world you live in, there’s a terrible thing called ‘Hanahaki Disease,’ and while it is ultimately rare, it is still feared widely throughout the globe. Love is an emotional virtually everyone feels, and it is through that monetary softness that the disease may take root. It affects those whose love is unrequited.

Five years ago, you never thought you would be under its spell.

The first time you met Eyeless Jack was a mess of combined hot headedness and a ‘my horse is bigger than yours’ type of deal. He was so brash and such a know it all! How could you NOT butt heads with him? The two of you spawned a little rivalry, and that rivalry grew to love.

How could you not fall in love with him? He’d been everything you’d ever wanted, and in your line of work, that’s hard to find. You’re what’s known as an ‘independent,’ someone who does not work directly under the Slender Man, but often crosses paths with him due to common goals and your abilities. While there is nothing inherently supernatural or otherworldly about you, you do have the gift of clairvoyance. Your clairvoyance isn’t super special, as you’re only prone to glimpses of the future based on current actions and what might (you are the world’s greatest predictor).

Jack IS supernatural. He’s not human, calls himself ‘a demon of some sorts.

The Slender Man saw potential in the two of you from your rivalry and decided to put the two of you together. It was that proximity that led him to falling helplessly, hopelessly, and ardently in love with you.

You never saw that coming.

Jack had told you he loved you when the two of you had just finished some of the grossest work you’ve done to date. He didn’t want to go back to the safe house the two of you had been holed up in with various other independents and instead urged you to hang out on the roof with him.

“Why are you rummaging through their fridge?” You asked, hands resting on your hips with a smile on your lips.

“Beer?” He finally asked as he poked his head out from the door.

You suppressed a chuckle and threw caution for the night to the wind. “Yeah, sounds good.”

With that, Jack tossed you a bottle, before snatching one for himself. Normally, he doesn’t drink, but he felt as if he needed the liquid courage to face you. He felt like he was being obvious with his intentions, but you’d managed to miss every gesture and hint he threw up to this point. If you’re anything like he is, you’re dense.

The two of you walked upwards and opened the door to the roof and were greeted by the lights of the city. The two of you don’t spend much time in people cluttered areas, but when you do, you always spend a moment together. He took a seat next to you on one of the lawn chairs hanging around and cracked the drink open, practically gulping it down.

“Are you thirsty?” You chuckled before opening your own. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you down one like that before,” you noted before taking a much smaller sip yourself.

Jack shifted uncomfortably for a moment as he took the bottle from his lips. It’s not that he was uncomfortable with you, but he was uncomfortable with the possibility that if you didn’t feel the same way, he could be subjected to the disease that’s claimed the lives of some damn good proxies and independents who fell in love with humans they never had a chance with. He hates getting sick, but he doesn’t think he can handle a broken heart and lungs full of flowers.

“No I-,” he took a deep breath. “Reader, I think you’re great.”

You laughed slightly. “I think you’re great too.”

Jack shook his head and took another swig before he attempted to speak again. “Not like that, it’s… I’m bad with words,” he sighed, feeling overwhelmed. The man isn’t used to speaking about his feelings.

You raised a brow. You know Jack, your Jack, to be someone concise, clear and to the point. He’s not one to fumble over his words. He’s not one to get bashful. You know where this is going, you can see it in your mind’s eye, but you won’t say it because a part of you enjoyed his aversion. “Right now you totally suck at speaking,” you lightly joked, which made him crack the tiniest smile.

That’s when he shot you a look. “You already know what I’m trying to say, don’t you?” He deadpanned, eyes narrowed at you slightly in accusation.

You let out a laugh and nodded, hand up in submission, “I did,” you giggled.

“I swear,” Jack breathed out as he tossed his bottle to the stone floor before he snatched yours and repeated the action. Before you could be surprised, he took you in his arms, his lips pressed to yours in a kiss full of everything he just couldn’t say.

Your arms wrapped around him, pleased that he had gotten to the point.

Jack has always made your heart flutter. He’s charming, but in his own way. Even though you have future vision to some varying degree, he has never failed to surprise you. For your first anniversary, he had brought you to the most beautiful flower field you’d ever seen.

“Have you always known that this was here?” You asked, eyes shining over the field full of lavender, sunflowers, poppies and other wildflowers. The scent rivaled that of the Slender Man’s garden.

“I spent the past year cultivating it,” he said as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, his head resting on top of yours. “Thought you’d appreciate it.”

“And I’m guessing you built the gazebo too?”

“Had some help from the proxies. Hoodie is surprisingly good at craftsmanship,” he said with a small chuckle. Jack pressed kisses to the crown of your head.

You allow him to sway you as you listen to the birds sing from the surrounding trees. “Is this what you were up to?” You asked.

Jack breathed out and shrugged. “A magician never reveals his secrets,” he teased.

You turned around in his grasp and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, hands loosely connected ‘round the back of his neck. “You suck,” you teased, sticking your tongue out before you pressed a kiss to his nose.

Jack laughed, his smile rivaling the warmth of the sun. “Thought that was your job,” he mused, making you gasp and smack his chest. He laughed again before you dropped the feigned annoyed attitude and joined him.

The rest of your anniversary was held under that gazebo, talking well into the night.

When the nights were hard and you were bruised from jobs that were rough, he was always there to pick you back up. You’d come back to the Slender Man’s mansion in need of minor medical attention and had only come to his home because it was close to where you’d gotten banged up.

“You can just wait in the waiting room,” a female proxy said as her green eyes scanned you over with little concern. She gestured for you to head down the hall to your left. “You won’t miss it.” It seemed your injuries paled in comparison to the gunshots, knife wounds, musical instruments to the skull and other more hefty injuries.

You thanked her with a small smile and then walked down the hall. You’d never really spent extended time in the Slender Man’s mansion; you had no reason to. You didn’t serve directly under him. Still, it was nice to be in something regal looking rather than a dirty field house wondering if the first aid kid was even usable or not.

You took a seat once you finally reached the waiting room, displeased to see that there were so many other people - mostly proxies - waiting for service. Some of them looked on the verge of passing out due to blood loss. How had no one attended to them yet? You waited and waited, watching as the more in danger patients were taken in before you finally nodded off. Your dreams were for the most part, empty, but your vision showed you that Jack was here, working. That thought alone was enough to wake you back up.

When your eyes reopened, you were overcome with emotions to see Jack in the doorway waiting for you to get up and follow him to the back. You scrambled up from your seat, mindful of not outwardly showing you were in a relationship (the Slender Man detested such bonds) and tried your best to remain cool and level headed.

Jack, who wore his mask, showed no signs he had any business with you until he brought you into a secluded room where he could attend to your injuries. The moment the door closed, he took off his mask and looked you over, worry lined on his face. “What’s wrong? Is it serious? O should have seen you sooner. Are you hurt-”

“Woah, woah,” you tiredly chuckled as you took his rapidly moving hands into yours. “It’s just minor bruises and cuts. Just wanna get them disinfected. I might’ve also sprained my wrist,” you sheepishly admitted.

Jack’s face fell again. “Jeeze, I should have seen you earlier,” he muttered to himself, moving around the room to get the supplies he needed. He slapped on his medical gloves again, and then got to work, leaving no part of you untouched. When it stung, he hushed you with words of love. “How did this happen?” He asked quietly.

“Alcoholic guy had way more power than I originally expected,” you winced. “I saw the possibility of him throwing me, but not him almost tearing off my wrist by slamming it in a door.”

“He what?” Jack growled.

“He’s dead now, don’t worry,” you said before you flashed Jack a reassuring look.

Jack seemed barely placated by your words and continued working.

When he finished working, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and gave you a look that told you he didn’t want you to leave.

“I have to,” you said as you allowed him to snake his arms around you. “I’ll be seeing you soon though, right?”

“I’m gonna be stuck in this area for a while,” he mumbled into your shoulder. “And you? You’re leaving Alabama right?”

You hesitantly nodded and sighed into him before you took in his scent that instantly calmed you. “Yeah, unfortunately. I have some work calling me out east,” you continued as he tensed in your arms. “Besides, I’m getting the vibe that if I stay much longer, the Slender Man is gonna be pissed at us.”

If Jack had eyes, he’d roll them. “I don’t care what he wants or likes,” he replied. That’s not entirely true, but love does weird things to people. “Stay a moment longer.”

You did.

There were times in your five year relationship that the two of you were split up for extended periods of time mostly on the whims and requests of the Slender Man. Those times you were apart were hard. And unfortunately, the two of you couldn’t actually text or call. Phones, electronics in general, were considered liabilities for people like you due to tracking and everything else. It just wasn’t safe, and BEN can only do so much.

Instead, the two of you would write letters to each other and enlist the help of Jeffery’s dog, Smile. Of course, the dog doesn’t always enjoy playing mail-dog, but he does enjoy the treats and favors he gets from the two of you.

The fifth year of your relationship with him had been a particularly long, hard separation due to distance. The two of you traded letters weekly via Smile. Everything from little anecdotes to how much you missed each other was shared between them until you got a letter that was calm before the storm.

‘Dear Reader, how have you been? I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write back to you, but Slender has put me on a really weird task. It’s time consuming as all hell and I kinda hate it. I’ve been placed with the proxies for a little while, and they all say ‘hi’ and hope you’re well as much as I do. … I love you, J.’ Of course, interspersed in the letter was a whole treasure trove of everything Jack had been up to.

‘Dear Jack, I’m glad to hear you’re doing alright. I’ve been lighting up the Midwest's farm fields - I don’t know why (I do have my inklings), but the proxies I’m currently with get it. They’re a nice bunch, but the one with a pig mask is kinda mean? Maybe you’ll have to fight him or something. There’s also talk of us converting some people to the proxy side, which is weird because it’s not my territory, but I’ll do what’s asked of me. What’s the task you’re currently up to? I love you, R.’

It had been a few weeks since you got the next letter, and that letter was the beginning of your end. You just didn’t know it yet, and you purposely blinded your future vision to it.

‘Dear Reader, I’m so sorry it took so long to get this letter back to you! I hope I didn’t worry you, but things have once again been really, really busy. In truth, I’m not supposed to tell you about this, but as long as he doesn’t find out… I can trust you with this, but you need to promise you won’t tell anyone else? I suppose it doesn’t matter because the whole of our society is going to be talking about it regardless. We’ve never seen something like this before. Zalgo (may his name burn for all eternity) had a kid, right? They call her Leia and she’s been causing a storm of issues for the tall man. We got a hold of her and she’s been under our watch since. She’s powerful, I’ll give her that. In a way, it’s admirable, but she’s also Slender’s biggest threat. The weirdest thing? She willingly gave herself up to us because she’s got daddy issues. Can you believe that? Zalgo’s favorite kid has daddy issues. She’s naturally murderous towards proxies so Masky, Toby, Hoodie and Kate have to be extra mindful of her. For the most part, she’s with me. We talk a lot, but I have no idea if I can trust her. She’s a great conversationalist though - nothing like her father. She doesn’t look anything like him either (you have seen his human form, right?) In fact, nothing about her screams spawn of Zalgo. She looks… normal, if that’s the right word. Other than that, her attitude reminds me of you. Funny, right? She asks about you every now and then, which is odd because I try not to mention you unless it’s with Hoodie. Hoodie says hi, by extension. She seems to not like you despite having never met you, which is also incredibly strange as she’s been nothing but kind to me and the proxies (despite her trying to kill them when her instincts take over). I digress, and I miss you. I love you, J.’

You’d read that letter over so many times poking and prodding it. The energy didn’t feel right, and your mind had shown you glimpses of what was to come. But of course, still in love with him, you acted like nothing was wrong and the future you had seen wasn’t absolute.

The first time you met Leia was largely an accident. A short while after you’d gotten that letter from Jack, you ‘swung by’ the area he was in and decided on a surprise visit. You knew Masky well enough, and the proxy had never been angry with you for visiting prior to. What difference would this one have been?

You knocked on the door in a way that only Masky would recognize to be greeted by the unmasked proxy.

“You’re here for him, aren’t you?” He asked, a tired smile coming onto his lips.

You nodded excitedly. “Where is he?”

“Back room, with uh-”

“She already knows,” both Hoodie and Kate said in unison as they barely spared a glance over their shoulders from the terrible movie playing on Lifetime.

Masky shot a slight glare towards his teammates but relented and moved aside in the doorway. “Have fun,” he said as you stepped inside. “Don’t do anything stupid and if you do, do so quietly?”

You slapped Masky’s shoulder and walked down the hall. You took a brief moment to wave to Toby who was reading something in one of the rooms before you reached the end where you heard laughter. To be polite, you knocked on the door, and to your surprise, it was not Jack who answered the door.

There she stood with long silver hair and the most alluring blue eyes you’d ever seen, her skin as warm as the cinnamon that floated on top of hot chocolate in the winter. She gave you a sickly saccharine smile before she turned her head over her shoulder to address Jack, “Reader is here,” she giggled.

You bit back a grimace but smiled when Jack got up and gently moved Leia aside in the doorframe to greet you.

“It’s so good to see you,” he said as he took you into his arms before he crushed you in his grip. “How have you been?” He whispered in your ear before he peppered your face with kisses.

You wished you could have enjoyed the moment as you laughed in his arms, but your eyes fluttered open for just a moment to see Leia’s unamused expression. “I’m okay,” you replied in a tone lacking the enthusiasm Jack expected to hear.

“Are you sure?” He asked as he checked you over to ensure you physical self was safe. His hands cupped your cheeks as you were forced to look up at him.

“Of course,” you replied in an attempt to play it cool.

“If you say so,” he trailed off before taking your hand in his and leading you to sit next to him on the bed.

From there, the world’s most awkward conversation took place between Jack and Leia with you attempting to cut in every once and a while. You saw it in little glimpses.

Her eyes never left his sockets, and he allowed it.

When her hand touched his knee, he made no motion to move it.

When she laughed, he smiled in a way that only you had been used to seeing.

He talked with her with so many inside jokes, you felt as if you were just peeking in on someone else’s conversation, not one you were invited to.

Gradually, through the hour, he’d moved closer to her than he had you. While his arm remained loosely wrapped around your waist, he’d leaned forward to hear her better. He watched her interaction first after he shared a story. His focus was on her. You’d left his field of vision.

A few weeks into your fifth year was all it took.

Things did not get any easier from there. Eventually, you were moved to helping the group in regards to Leia. According to Slender, it was to ‘protect her’ from her father and her now murderous siblings. That’s when the rift grew wider, and the roots took hold.

See, after that first in person interaction with Leia, you’d felt a scratchiness in your lungs. At first, you chalked it up to being under the weather, but after being moved to Masky’s group, you knew nothing would ever be the same. Your worst fear had come true, and all it took was a pair of blue eyes.

Physically, Jack was still yours. He’d hold you, kiss you and touch you like you were still his. He never physically left your side, nor did his flesh betray your relationship. No, it was something much deeper than that that brought about the sprouts that took hold in your lungs.

Emotionally, he’d left you the moment he laid sockets on her. Why did he give in so easily? Who knows - boredom? A premature seven year itch? You’re not sure. But you saw it - you saw his heart leave the space it once shared with you and take up residence with hers, and it was painful. So, so painful.

He looked at her like she owned the moon and commanded the tides.

He smiled at her in a way he used to smile with you.

He spoke to her in a tone so gentle, you assumed he’d only used it for you.

He spoke with you less frequently, and when he did, it was much shorter and to the point. Whenever you prodded him, he had chalked it up to being stressed and that of course, he still loved you.

“You’re just being paranoid.”

He told her things you’d never even scratched the surface of.

She viewed him as hers.

And he allowed it without leaving the safety net that was you.

Of course, this did not go unnoticed by the proxies. None of them wanted to get directly involved though.

Hoodie was amongst the most disturbed as he was usually the first to call out Jack’s bullshit and the first proxy to inquire about you and your wellbeing. Despite not spending any time with you, Hoodie viewed you as a good friend.

"You realize what you're doing isn't cool, right?" Hoodie said as he walked back to the temp house with Jack.

"I'm not doing anything," Jack replied. "This about Leia?"

"No, it's about Pennywise we met last year - of course it's about Leia," Hoodie hissed as he rolled his eyes. "You're digging a hole you won't be able to get back out of. You know that, right?"

Jack lightly shoved Hoodie's shoulder in response. He was uncomfortable with what Hoodie had insinuated, mostly because Hoodie's BS meter is never far off the mark and normally strikes true. But when he entered that house and saw Leia sitting at the table, he couldn't help but take his place at her side.

Perhaps Kate just believes in girl code, but as a fellow being under the Slender Man’s control, she’s got her eye out for you. She believed wholeheartedly that what Jack was doing was scummy, but of course, her focus is on you. It came in mugs of hot chocolate and late night living room talks. She cares, just quietly.

"Don't overwork yourself, okay?" She said softly as she draped a blanket around your shoulders.

You'd been nodding off much more in the living room than in the room you shared with Jack. "What?" You said sleepily.

Kate chuckled softly and let you rest your head on her lap. "Turn your brain off for a while with me and let's watch this gods awful movie." Anything to get your mind off of what's going on and if this movie does it for you, that's good enough for the moment.

"Yes, ma'am," you tiredly rib, a smile on your lips.

Toby is inexperienced when it comes to these things. He was the first person to find you hacking up forget-me-nots. That was a scary experience as he’s never seen the Hanahaki before. He’s too young and too inexperienced, where would he have seen it?

He can distinctly remember walking with you, patrolling the area for threats when you suddenly stopped. It’d been a few months of you in his group's care, and he’d seen you retreat into yourself the longer Jack spent time with Leia. He knew it, just didn’t know how to go about it.

“What’s w-w-wrong?” He asked.

You waved for him to go on. “I’m fine-” you tried to wheeze out before you began violently coughing.

Toby initially thought you were going through what Masky did. He’s handled that before and naively thought he could help you until he rushed to your side to see the small forming pile of blue flowers covered sparsely in drops of blood. “Oh n-n-no,” he whispered as he knelt at your side. He held you like you were glass. “R-Reader-”

“I said I’m fine!” You tried to reason before coughing once more, this time more blood than cursed flower.

“Does t-t-this look f-f-fine to you?” He asked in stress and worry. “We n-need to t-t-tell M-Masky or J-Ja-”

“No,” you coldly cut off as you wiped your mouth of the blood that dribbled down your chin.

Toby wanted to fight that notion badly, but instead focused on getting you back safe. “I-I’ll tell M-Masky we s-saw some n-n-not deer on t-the p-property,” he murmured as he carefully picked you back up.

You allowed him.

Masky knew the moment you walked back into the temp house with Toby holding you as inconspicuous as he could. It’s unfortunate, he thinks, because he knows what that’s like - to love someone and physically suffer because of it.

One day, he’d sent everyone out of the house except for you and urged you to sit down and have some apple cider with him to ‘celebrate’ his favorite season, fall.

“Let’s not beat around the bush,” he began. “You’ve got it.”

You shifted uncomfortably and averted your gaze from his and chose to look into your apple cider than his eyes. “What?”

“Reader,” Masky sighed as he sat up in his seat. “Please…”

“It’s not that serious,” you attempted to retort. “It’s not… It’s not that bad.”

“You’re delusional,” Masky said. “I saw the flowers in the trash bin.”

You rolled your eyes but crossed your arms over your chest anyways in an attempt to soothe yourself.

“You know what happens, right?” He continued, leaning forward. “It either takes you or you get the surgery done.”

A pregnant pause passes before you reluctantly speak.

“Is… Is it really that bad?”

Masky nodded, “From experience? Yeah,” he mumbled.

You gave him a look of both sympathy and intrigue.

“The Operator forced me to get the surgery,” he admitted.

You look into his eyes and see for the first time that he’s empty. His dark brown eyes, that are full of amiability, protective nature, it’s all a front. He doesn’t actually feel that way - it is what is expected of him, but he is hollow.

“What happened?” You asked shyly, unsure if that’s too sensitive or not.

“I don’t quite remember as that’s an outcome of having the surgery,” Masky hummed. “But I remember that I loved him- I don’t feel it, obviously - but I remember that I loved him more than anything, would’ve moved mountains for him, and then he died,” he sounded vaguely perturbed by the words, but they did not reach his heart. “I think his name was Jay.”

You felt something pierce your heart, but it was interrupted by the flowers in your lungs blooming through your mouth.

Masky held you as you coughed petals and blood in the bathtub.

You promised Masky you were going to speak things over with Jack. You promised you were going to solve this. But when he spoke to you with his empty words coated in honey, the pain became too much to bear. It hurt. Seeing him hurt. Hearing him hurt.

“Jack?” You ask quietly, slowly sitting up in the bed you shared with him, much too used to his arms not being slinked around your form by this point.

He roused slightly in the bed before he opened his eyes. “Yeah? What’s up?” He asks, a slight bite in his voice from being woken up.

“Can we talk about something?”

“Can’t it wait?” He sighs in a slightly exasperated tone.

You shake your head, and through the darkness, Jack’s form sloughs in defeat.

“What is it?” He asks.

“Are we okay?”

“Of course we’re okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love me?”

“I love you more than anything,” he replies, hand gripping yours.

He feels like ice.

“And what about Leia?”

“She’s a really good friend of mine.”

He suddenly feels warm.

“I’m sorry for waking you.”

“It’s nothing, now go to sleep, baby. We can talk about this in the morning,” he says with a small yawn before falling back into the comfort of slumber.

Your other hand at this point, has wrapped over your mouth to stifle the sounds of silence and the threat of flowers crawling up from your esophagus. You suffer in silence for a few minutes until you’re certain he’s asleep, then quietly excuse yourself to the bathroom.

You begin to cough as softly as you can, not wanting to be a burden to anyone in the house as forget-me-nots begin to fill up the sink. Blood splatters on the porcelain as well as the mirror. Your eyes are full of tears. You feel cold, much too cold.

As you continue to empty your lungs in vain, the light flicks on. You’re in too much pain and absorbed in velvety petals to realize it at first.

“I thought I told you to handle this,” Masky’s exhausted voice chides gently, his eyes dipping to the mess you’ve left in the basin of the sink.

You grip the edge of the sink before hacking up the rest of what the garden in your lungs has to offer before slinking down to the tile floor, utterly exhausted. “Turn the light off,” you whisper. Your back rests against the tub.

Masky does as you ask, allowing the moonlight to overtake as the main source of light in the small bathroom. His shoulders sag slightly as he joins you on this floor, his arm around your shoulders. “Get some sleep,” he says softly, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder.

You smile softly as the flowers continue to clog up your lungs. It looks like another fit is coming.

“Just let it pass,” he murmurs softly into your ear, his head resting loosely on top of yours as you attempt to suppress the flowers from reemerging. “It’ll be over soon.”

You move your eyes to look at his profile before you take in the scent of cigarettes. You continue to feel your lungs grow heavy with blossoms when you hear Leia’s door open. Her steps pad quietly along the wooden floor as she crosses the hall to the room you used to share with Jack. “You promise?” You manage to choke out before stifling your coughs as quietly as you can. Your eyelids are growing heavier. You can hear your heartbeat through your chest to the hallways of your ears. Leia has slipped into bed with Jack. You hear him shift. He’s holding her now.

“I promise,” he says gently, holding you just a little tighter.

You close your eyes and listen to Masky hum, hoping sleep washes over you soon.

#eyeless jack #xreader #creepypasta x reader #eyeless jack x reader #creepypasta #hanahaki #angst #masky #hoodie #brian thomas #tim wright #kate the chaser #reader insert

251 notes · View notes

helloalycia · 3 years

Text

The Wrong Lifetime – Five // Wanda Maximoff

chapter four | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter six

author’s note: dying of cramps but didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging, so enjoy! x

Taking Wanda to Blackpool was something I couldn't stop thinking about for the past three days.

I kept telling myself that I had to remain calm, not make her feel uncomfortable with my obvious attraction to her, and to give her the best day out considering she'd never been before. It wasn't anything more than a girl spending time with her soon-to-be sister-in-law, and I had to keep reminding myself that whenever I'd feel a stir of desire in my chest at the thought her pretty smile or intoxicating gaze.

My family were thrilled when they heard of my plans with Wanda. My parents were glad I was actually making an effort to get on with her, whilst my brother was excited I was becoming 'best friends', as he put it, with his fiancé. That one stung a little, the guilt pricking my insides, but I convinced myself that that was exactly what I was doing. It wasn't wrong if I didn't think of Wanda in any way but what she was. Right?

The weekend came around quickly enough, and on Saturday morning, I met with Wanda at the train station where she waiting for me with an enthusiastic smile.

"I brought my watercolours and sketchbook so I can paint what's there," she explained as we boarded the train. "I also bought a lot of pencils in case some snap. I'm gonna draw everything I see so I don't forget a single thing."

We slid into our seats and I smiled with admiration as she continued to ramble about all of the things she wanted to do today. She looked so lively when she spoke, her hands moving about frantically to express her excitement, and her lips permanently etched into a smile when she wittered on. I didn't mean to stare, but God, she looked beautiful.

"Thank you again for doing this," she finished, head turning to mine.

Now, I'd read and written many clichés of someone falling for someone else, particularly the moment they knew they were too far gone. It was hard to believe if they were true depictions of liking someone, but I liked reading and writing them.

It was now that I learnt that they were no exaggeration, for when she looked my way with a beaming smile and glowing green eyes, I knew it was too late. There was no going back for my attraction to Wanda.

"No need to thank me," I spoke slowly, surprised I could speak at all since she'd knocked the breath from my lungs. "I'm glad you're excited."

The journey was a few hours long and we made conversation the whole way. It was the longest I'd spent alone with her since meeting her and I was intrigued by everything she had to say, hanging onto every word with all of my attention. If that wasn't enough, her accent only made everything she said sound so much better. She was naturally soft-spoken, but syllables rolled off her tongue in a silky, raspy way with her accent entwined in her words. I loved it.

At one point, the topic of our families came up and I felt like my brother came up in almost every conversation I'd had with anyone who discussed family, so I took this as my opportunity to get to know hers instead.

"What's it like to have a twin?" I asked, leaning on my elbow as I watched her attentively.

She mirrored my action playfully, though answered my question. "It's just like having a normal sibling, except they're way more annoying."

I smiled, imaging just how annoying Pietro could be as a sibling.

"I love Pietro, but he's very frustrating at times," she spoke with a hint of endearment. "He constantly throws it in my face that's he's older than me by twelve minutes. As if that makes a difference."

A chuckle flew from my lips as she pouted at her own words.

"But he's also my best friend," she said with a sigh, like that fact was irritating in itself. "He knows me better than anyone and he's the easiest person for me to talk to. I don't have to hide anything from him." She paused, glancing upwards in thought. "Well, almost anything."

Pursing my lips, I wondered what she meant as she mumbled the last part, but didn't question it. Everyone was entitled to their secrets.

"So, you and your family moved to England when you were kids, right?" I tried to recall what my parents had told me of them. "From Sokovia."

"Yes, we were about..." She scrunched up her nose as she tried to remember. "Eight years old, I think?"

"Wow, that's young," I realised.

She hummed in agreement, smile fading as her eyes fell to her hands. "Yeah... I don't remember much, but there was a lot of unrest at the time. A war. It was dangerous for everyone and my parents were lucky to get us out when they did."

I frowned, knowing some of this already, but it was sadder to hear when it was coming from Wanda herself.

"Our extended family didn't make it out," she continued to explain, voice quieter. "I didn't know them much, my parents' siblings, so it's not that sad for me. Pietro, too. But it's strange to think, you know? Especially when all of your family are around with this wedding and–" She sighed, shaking her head and looking to me with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down."

I straightened up, reassuring her instantly. "Wanda, you don't need to apologise. It's okay. I... I didn't know any of that. I'm glad you told me."

She nodded, though the regret was still present in her gaze.

"I'm sorry all of that happened," I expressed honestly, not looking away. "But I'm glad you're here, if it makes a difference. You– your family are good people."

A small, appreciative smile graced her lips. "Thank you."

I shrugged, trying to brush it off so she wouldn't notice the heat rising up my neck. "It's nothing... so Sokovia. You speak Russian and English. That's pretty bloody cool."

She laughed wholeheartedly and any hint of sadness disappeared from her face, reassuring me completely. I didn't like to see her sad, especially when there was nothing I could do to make her feel better that I knew of.

"I promise to teach you some Russian today," she said with amusement. "A few words, just to diversify your vocabulary."

"Gee, thanks."

Another laugh escaped her and I chewed on my lip to contain my grin. I could get used to that sound.

—

When we reached Blackpool, Wanda was radiating with excitement. We couldn't make it two steps anywhere before she whipped out her sketchbook and began to sketch. She wasn't kidding when she said she was going to capture everything she saw.

I was patient, since the reason we came was for her, and watched as she worked. It was cute, seeing her concentrate and trying to stop dancing around with excitement every time I showed her something new.

We walked along the promenade and dipped in and out of the shops, looking at the gifts and clothes they sold. We bought a few things to commemorate the trip, but then Wanda was quick to drag me back outside so she could sketch the view of the beach from where we were stood. The grin on her face was convincing enough for me to let her drag me wherever she wanted. She looked so happy and I didn't care about anything else.

Eventually, around lunchtime, we headed to a café to have a break from all the excitement. Or rather, a break from running around. For Wanda, it was a better opportunity to sit still and sketch some more.

"So, you're drinking what, Y/N?" she asked, not looking up from her sketches as she worked.

I looked at my tea and lowered the cup. "Er, tea?"

"In Russian," she instructed.

"Oh." I cleared my throat, remembering what she taught me earlier. "Chay."

"And what's in the chay?" she asked, lifting her eyes to meet mine patiently. "The milk?"

"Moloko," I remembered, and the proud smile on her face reassured me I was correct. My shoulders relaxed as I returned her smile. "Thanks."

"You're a natural," she assured me, before looking back to her sketchbook. "I only taught you the words. You remembered it yourself. And before you know it, ty budesh' govorit' polnymi predlozheniyami na russkom."

My mouth opened with confusion, not knowing what she said. She seemed to realise as she chuckled at my expression.

"Never mind, milaya (darling)," she said with humoured eyes, before resuming her sketching.

I breathed out, taking another sip of my tea before grabbing a fork to dig into my pasta. As I chewed, I watched Wanda move her pencil effortlessly, creating lines that somehow resulted in a perfect drawing of the horizon.

"Do you only draw and paint landscapes?" I asked curiously.

"I can do portraits, too," she answered with a nod, glancing at me. "But they're never as good."

I gave her a knowing look. "I doubt that."

She merely smiled in response, eyes meeting mine for a moment, before shaking her head with amusement and looking back to her sketches. I chuckled, leaving her to it as I enjoyed my lunch and read the newspaper.

It was nice to just sit and enjoy each other's company as we did our own thing. I'd occasionally glance up to see Wanda focused on her drawing and smile, allowing myself to appreciate the sight, before looking back down to the paper and enjoying my pasta.

By the time I finished my food, as had Wanda, she straightened up and tore a page from her sketchbook. The noise pulled me from my reading and I looked up to see her holding the paper towards me.

I quirked a brow, but she simply shook the paper, signalling for me to take it. With confusion, I took it and became speechless when I saw what she'd drawn. It was me reading the paper, the exact view she must have had from being sat opposite me. It looked exactly like me, probably better since I knew I didn't look that good, and I was amazed at her talent all over again.

"You did this just now?" I asked with disbelief, looking up at her.

She shrugged and distracted herself with her pencil. "Yeah, it's not much. It's not my specialty."

I scoffed. "You're kidding. Wanda, this is amazing!"

Bashful smile on her lips, she glanced up at me. "Maybe it's the best portrait I've done. But I think that's down to my subject."

Even when she was embarrassed, she was still capable of turning the tables on me, leaving me a flustered mess. It was like her superpower. A very annoyingly cute superpower.

"That's what you look like y'know," she continued, nodding to the paper in my hand. "When you're focused on reading. You chew your lip with thought. And you get this little crease–" she pointed between her brows with a laugh, "–right here, and you seem to forget that anything else exists."

A sweet smile spread on her face as she tilted her head, watching me with intimidating eyes, very much aware of the effect her words had on me.

"You're very observant," I said, trying not to stutter, her gaze making me nervous. "Perfect skill for an artist."

She hummed in agreement, though didn't look away. "Mere artistic observation, right?"

My heart was hammering in her chest the longer she stared, especially when her words dawned on me. I'd said the exact same thing after she confronted me about picking her ring. I wondered if she could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Just like the first time I saw her, I was at a loss for words and couldn't look away. She was compelling, beautiful and remarkable all at once.

—

"Nebo," I said, hoping it was the correct word for 'sky' in Russian, as Wanda had taught me.

She grinned. "Yes! And horizon?"

I pulled a face as I thought carefully. "Er...gorizont?"

"The student is soon to become the master," she said, and I rolled my eyes, knowing that was anything but the truth. I appreciated her encouragement though.

"Okay, before we head to the beach, we have to buy some rock," I told her, leading her to the stall on the promenade. "I got it last time and it's so good."

She furrowed her brows. "What's that?"

I smiled at her expression. "It's a sweet. Kind of like boiled sugar that's formed into a stick of, well, rock."

She didn't seem convinced. "If you say it's good, I trust you, I guess..."

I laughed, grabbing her hand and tugging her to the stall. "You'll love it."

After getting two sticks of rock for Wanda and I, we began to walk to the sand. I glanced at the brunette, wanting to see her reaction. She eyed the hard candy before attempting to bite it, a small piece breaking off at the top. Crunching on it, she scrunched her nose up.

"It's hard," she noted, swallowing the piece. "Tasty, though."

"It's better if you suck on it, love," I let her know with a hidden smile. "Tastes much better."

She did as I said, beginning to suck on the top, and seemed to enjoy it more. Giving me a thumbs up as she sucked it, I couldn't help but laugh again. She looked adorable, so I left her to it and did the same as we walked along the sand and towards the benches in the distance.

Like a child experiencing something for the first time, she began to point excitedly at Blackpool Tower and the ferris wheel in the distance and I just kept nodding along, letting her get excited because it made my heart skip a beat every time she flashed me a smile.

When we reached the benches, I was glad that today wasn't a busy day. It wasn't exactly tourist season, so the beach was scarce of anyone but residents of the town. And even then, our side of the beach was pretty empty, giving us first dibs on a bench that wasn't broken or uncomfortable.

Settling on it, Wanda pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged so she could lean on them and pull out her watercolours. I sat beside her and leaned back, inhaling the salty air and exhaling peacefully. I never had much reason to visit here apart from when my parents took my brother and I on the occasional trip, but it was nice to appreciate the sound of the ocean washing over the sand and the seagulls squawking in the sky. A big difference compared to back home.

Another silence formed between us as she painted the water ahead, and I couldn't help but glance her way, watching her pucker her lips with concentration. All she'd wanted was this and I was glad I could finally give it to her.

So she wouldn't notice, I looked away and stared out at the blue expanse of ocean before me. I should have been appreciating its beauty, but all I could think about was how it was no contest to the girl sat beside me.

"I'm really glad you brought me here today," she said out of the blue after a while, "but I wouldn't have said yes if I'd known you would be bored."

I looked to her and saw she was still preoccupied by her painting. "I'm not bored. We came here so you could see the water and find some new subjects to paint. And that's exactly what we're doing."

She sighed, looking up at me with a questioning glance.

Smiling reassuringly, I said, "I like the quiet. And I like watching you work. You look happy. It's good to see."

She tensed her jaw, stifling a smile, but her eyes said it all. She was grateful. Of course, her eyes were also very easy to get lost in, even if she didn't mean for me to. And right now, under the sun, I found myself drowning in pools of blue.

"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly, a hint of a smile on her face.

Stupidly, I felt compelled to tell her the truth. "I'm thinking about how you have really pretty eyes."

Attempting to make me flustered yet again, her favourite hobby by now I was guessing, she raised a brow teasingly. "Oh, really?"

It didn't bother me this time though, as I maintained eye contact and felt my heart swelling with adoration. "Yes. It's like you hold all the elements in a single gaze."

Her smile faded and that's when I realised what I'd said, my heart dropping to my stomach in an instant. Swallowing hard, I looked away and shook my head. An apology was waiting on the tip of my tongue when she spoke with realisation.

"It was you."

I glanced her way nervously. "What was?"

She was staring like her mind was working something out and I was the missing piece. "The letter that Y/B/N gave me last week. He wrote the exact same thing. What you just said."

My brows knitted together with confusion, then it hit me. The love letter Y/B/N wrote. The one he assured me was for his own eyes. He'd given it to her. And I'd just gone and said the exact thing he'd written on it, no doubt passing it off as is his own words.

"Th–that wasn't me," I got out, shaking my head slowly. "I didn't even know he gave you a letter, Wanda."

She continued to watch me, eyes squinting with scepticism. I swallowed hard under her gaze, trying to think of how I could come back from this. But apparently I didn't have to, because she suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine.

My mind was foggy when her fingers rested behind my neck, tugging me closer. I closed my eyes, melting at her touch, and began to kiss her back, moving my lips against hers. She was slow and gentle with me, her lips as soft as they looked and sending the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy. I could have kissed her forever and been content, but my brain finally caught up to my actions and I reluctantly pulled away, stunned.

Glancing around to make sure nobody saw us – there was literally nobody here – I caught my breath and looked back to Wanda. Her eyes were drawn to my lips before they flickered to meet mine, darkened with desire.

"Why did you do that?" was all I could think to ask, and I was acutely aware of her fingers still grasping my neck, the skin burning where her tips grazed.

She licked her swollen lips, expression softening. "I think I've been falling for the wrong Y/L/N."

My lips pressed together, missing the feeling of hers against them. Never in a million years did I expect her to say something like that. I thought she'd been teasing me this whole time, but now, maybe there was truth to her actions.

"Did you really mean what you said?" she asked apprehensively.

"What?"

She swallowed. "What you said about my eyes. Did you mean it?"

Well, she'd kissed me, so there was no going back now.

I nodded, noticing the hesitance in her eyes. "Yes... you're beautiful, Wanda."

She didn't say anything and the silence was deafening. I almost wanted to run back home and pretend this never happened, but that was the cowardly side of me. The other side, the disbelieving side, wanted to stay here with her and keep living in this little bubble we'd created.

"Can I kiss you again?" she finally spoke, eyes flickering between mine for confirmation.

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded slowly, and she didn't waste another second as she leaned in once again. This time, I wasn't so surprised, so I kissed her back quickly, trying not to think about how wrong this was. How I'd been taught that this was wrong. Because I refused to believe this was wrong, that it was a sin, when it felt so damn right.

Wanda felt right.

—

When I got home later that afternoon, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

Wanda was all that was on my mind. Everything about her was floating around up there – the contagiousness of her smile, the brightness of her eyes, the taste of her lips. When I left this morning, I wasn't expecting to return with– well, I wasn't sure what we were, but we'd decided to give whatever this was a go.

Of course, she was still engaged to my brother, but I tried not to think about that. She made me happy and maybe in a different lifetime we could have been together, but this was the wrong lifetime which meant I'd have to make some wrong decisions, this possibly being one of them.

The guilt was still present, but the adoration I had for Wanda overpowered it. The fact that she actually liked me back was too thrilling for me to even concern myself with the lack of future this relationship would have. I just wanted to enjoy what we had whilst we had it, even if it meant being together in secret.

"So, how did your trip go?" my mum asked me when I returned, looking up from her knitting.

I stifled my grin the best I could. "It was fun. Wanda loved the seaside."

My mother seemed pleased as she smiled my way. "Y/N, that's great. You know, I'm really proud of you for making an effort with her. It means a lot to everyone."

"Mhm."

"She's going to be your sister-in-law after all," she continued knowingly, "so it's good you're spending time with her. Maybe you could do it more."

I hummed in agreement, my heart fluttering at the possibility of spending more time with Wanda. "Yeah, that could be good."

"Go on upstairs, you must be tired from the travelling," she said after a moment, noticing my distant headspace. "I'm glad you had fun today."

Wanda's smile appeared in my mind again, her lips ghosting my own. I sighed contently.

"Me, too."

#wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen #marvel #marvel imagine

380 notes · View notes