#I like listening to the songs as I write them on here

[luveline]

Can you write where the reader walks into James room and he's crying and its the first time shes seen him cry so she comforts him pls xx

thank you for your request! fem, 1.2k

James’ house is a sanctuary to everyone he’s ever met. There are scratches on the wall by the door where Sirius has thrown it open, long deep welts of ruin under a drunken hand, two best friends laughing to the bedroom where they share a bed. You’re used to Sirius by now, an extension of James you love and make room for, but waking up to the heir of the most noble family in London sleeping off a hangover with his face buried in your boyfriend's shoulder still surprises you. His snores never change. 

Then there’s Remus, the sweetheart, tracking dirt into the living room because he so often forgets he’s wearing shoes, distracted by a book or a thought he shares in half smiles knowing James will listen. 

You’re everywhere. In photos like the rest of them, in your coat on the hook, your clean washing on the stairs, your shoes in the bedroom cupboard. There’s a red smudge of your lipstick on the wall at the top of the stairs where James wiped your bottom lip and then used the wall to hang over you, kissing. He keeps meaning to paint over it, you know. He says the same thing every time you bring it up, a laughing, “I’ll get to it, you thing!” 

You’re used to smiles and sounds here. You aren’t acquainted with this. Sniffles from the bedroom, long, stringing gulps of air and the answering sob. It makes your chest flip. James hasn’t cried in front of you in a year of dating and two years of knowing him. James doesn’t even get pissed off unless it’s for somebody else. Something awful must’ve happened. You rush to find out what. 

In the bedroom, James is just sitting there falling apart. Just, sat on the bed, his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking like an awful jagged up and down, like he’s hurting; the shock of it is in every inch of movement. James is beautiful in everything, skin and hands and dark, dark hair, but he’s hurting now as he drags fingers wet with tears through frizzing curls. He must have heard you coming up but he can’t stop, lifting his chin, an apology twisted in his mouth that he doesn’t say aloud. 

“Lovely, what happened?” you ask, sure you’re gonna fall through the floor. “What happened? What–”

You aren’t giving him time to answer. You need to know. 

“No, it’s alright–”

“It’s not alright,” you say, standing in front of him with stiff arms. “What happened, James?” 

“It’s okay.” He cries a little, sniffs, looking up at you with swimming eyes. “It’s alright, I’m just– it’s just– well, it’s just everything, I suppose, but it’s…” He looks down, his mouth twisting again in an apology you don’t want to take. He shakes himself. 

“James, what’s everything?” 

“Silly stuff.” James takes your hand. Telling, that a boy who’s spent his entire life looking after the people he loves would attempt to comfort you with tears still hot on his cheeks. 

You look down at his long fingers. 

James plays piano. He learned your favourite song for you before he’d ever asked you out, and when he’d played it for you, he’d played so beautifully you felt sick for days, felt sick every time you thought of him, but in the moment he’d laughed at your teary eyes and pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head. Lovely girl, he’d said, laughing, I won’t play it again if you’re gonna cry like that.

You figure he must want comfort as he gives it, wrapping your arms around him to steer him toward a soft kiss, his hair like strands of satin under your lips. “Nothing that upsets you like this could ever be silly.” 

He pushes you away. Not without love, but pushing away regardless. He stands in the space you leave and wipes his cheeks with the backs of his hands. It’s nearly like he’s dancing. Just the way his arms move. But then he drops them and turns away from you, your heart plummeting to your stomach. 

“James.” 

“It’s not like that. I was hoping I’d be done before you got home. Should we go out for dinner or something?” 

“James–”

“What?” he asks, smiling, at odds with his sad eyes. “Love, it’s really fine, I’m fine.” Love. You let out a long breath, chest a cold ache slowly warmed by his gaze. There’s care for you in every eyelash, but it still shocks you when he hugs you. “It’s okay. Sorry I scared you.” 

James. “Fucking hell, Jamie, I’m not scared, I want you to tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it for you.”

He chokes on breath. “I’m fine,” he says. He doesn’t believe it himself, a crack running straight through his words. “Sorry,” he says, sickly, kissing the top of your head as you’d kissed his. 

Clearly he’s not going to let you be the one domineering the situation, but that’s okay. He can kiss your head and hold you on the edge of too tight. You slip a hand under the edge of his T-shirt to stroke his back, until your hand is numb to it, and he’s sagging against you heavily. 

“You’re really not fine, I can see that much.” 

He’s quiet, but you can tell there’s something he wants to say. 

“But that’s okay,” you say, hand clasping his back . You pat a steady rhythm there as he sighs. “It really is. I don’t know why you think you have to be finished crying before I get home, but that’s not true. You can cry. You can cry buckets. Please don’t pretend you’re not upset because of me, I’d feel so bad.”

Something hot and wet touches your forehead. “M’sorry.” 

“Nothing to be sorry for.” You pull back to pat his cheek. 

James stares at you. Tears well in usually warm eyes and get caught in the wet hedge of his lashes. You try to wipe them away before they can fall —you don’t wanna see your sweetheart crying. 

“Don’t frown,” he says softly. 

“I’m trying not to. Here, let me,” —you wipe his cheeks with your sleeve, voice a muttering thing as his skin pinks beneath your touch— “just get that there for you. Your eyes are red, Jamie, I hope you haven’t been upset for too long.” 

“No, uh. No, not too long.” 

“Can you please tell me what’s wrong? I’d like to know.” 

James’ face presses to your neck in seconds. He pauses, and then he sobs. That’s more like it. You stand there in the bedroom until your legs are stiff, and then you only move to lay him down in bed to be your little spoon. “It's not fine,” you say, your arm around him, the other playing in the swirl of his parting, “but it will be. You’re really too handsome for all these tears.”

“You think I’m handsome?”

He sounds sweet when he’s trying to make you laugh. You reach over him to kiss his hot cheek.  

[darkbluekies]

Cannot take what was never meant to leave

Yandere!king OC x fem!fairy!reader

Summary: Edmund walks out in the forest and finds something he never seen before: a tree fairy. Upon learning that he can't take her as long as her tree is there, he does the only thing he can think of.

Warnings: Edmund is a bit more insane than usual, reader is in a lot of pain, kidnapping, basically killing, use of an ax

Word count: 2.5k

A/N: this is HEAVILY inspired by Erutan's song "The Willow Maid"!! I have absolutely loved that song for ages, and after seeing PurestarMedia's music video of it on YouTube, I had to write something!! Edmund felt like the perfect fit for it!!

Summer is almost over. He can tell by a slight shift in the winds that colder times are approaching, even though barely any of the trees show any signs of autumn. He can't wait until he can bring out his thicker coat. He likes the colors of it much more.

Ten men he brought with him on his hunt for rabbits. They've decided to go into another part of the forest in hopes of finding anything.

Suddenly. A sound.

“Shh!” Edmund hushes and holds up a hand, signaling the others to stop.

He listens closely. It sounds like humming. It's a tune he has never heard before, but one that feels weirdly familiar — as if he has heard it in a dream or past life.

Quietly, they follow the sound until they reach a field full of small, white flowers. In the middle of the white field stands a tree with dark leaves. A scene taken straight out of one of the paintings hanging on the castle walls. Edmund notices someone sitting by the foot of the tree, resting among the roots. A woman?

The group of men creep closer. The woman is lying on the tree roots, leaning her head against the tree trunk, having a root under her knees for support. She's dressed in a long, white gown reminding Edmund of the small flowers. On her head rests a flower crown made of the very flowers. Her eyes are shut. Her mouth hums. 

A fairy.

One of Edmund’s men steps onto a branch on the floor, which snaps in half and pulls the fairy out of her thoughts. Her eyes snap open, revealing them to be deep and dark — and full of fear. She shoots up from her root and stumbles backwards, hiding behind her tree.

“Who are you?” she asks quickly. “What do you want?”

“You are a fairy”, Edmund says, still in disbelief.

“Yes … what do you want?”

“Have you seen any rabbits around here?”

She peeks out from behind the tree.

“What do you want them?” she asks and seems to notice the rifles hanging over their shoulders. “I'm not assisting you in killing harmless creatures.”

Edmund meets her dark eyes. They're hypnotic.

“You humans are despicable sometimes”, she says. “Killing innocent creatures who haven't done anything to you.”

“If I wouldn't, someone else would — man or animal.”

“I want you to leave.”

“Yeah, we should move on. We have rabbits to hunt.”

He can feel her eyes burn through his back as he walks back over the field of white flowers. He hopes that she will watch him until he disappears into the forest.

“Did you have a good hunt, your majesty?” his secretary asks as Edmund and his ten men come back to the castle.

“Caught a few rabbits”, he answers and smiles, thinking of the memory. “We encountered a fairy.”

They start to walk inside. 

“A fairy?” the secretary asks and holds the door into the castle open for the young king.

“What do you know about fairies?” Edmund asks. 

They walk down the large hall.

“I know that, like humans, there are different types of fairies”, the secretary says. “You found her in the woods, you said?”

Edmund nods. 

“She’s probably a tree fairy”, the secretary continues. 

“Yeah, she was sitting by a tree … almost like it was holding her”, Edmund says, furrowing his dark brows as he thinks about it. 

He holds out his arms as if he was carrying a woman, imagining her knees bending over his right arm and her back supported by his left … her head resting on his shoulder — like she had done to the tree bark. 

They walk into Edmund’s office, closing the door behind them. 

“What do you know about tree fairies?” Edmund asks and throws himself in his chair. 

“I know that they live in the woods and that they are connected to a particular tree. They feed off of sap from the tree and flower nectar — and if their tree bears fruit they eat that too.”

“What happens if they eat something else? Like meat? Or potatoes?”

“I don’t know, your majesty.”

“Would it kill them, do you think?”

“Perhaps. What I do know kills a tree fairy is killing their tree.”

Edmund looks up at him. “What?” 

“Their life source is connected to their tree. They live as long as their tree does.”

“So you’re saying that a fairy can become hundreds of years? Thousands even?”

“Could be.”

“Interesting.” He sighs and throws his head back. “You should have seen that thing. Before she noticed us she looked so … peaceful. She was resting and humming a tune. When she realized that we were there she flew up and hid behind her tree. All of that seemed so young and naive. Her tree wasn’t that large either. I think I’ve found myself a young fairy.”

“The fairy seems to interest you.”

“I’ve always wanted to meet a fairy. I didn’t believe that they actually existed. But now, I’ve found one. I think that I’m going to make her my wife.”

The next day, he returns with his ten men and his secretary, dressed in his autumn coat. On the way to the glade, Edmund picks a few flowers with the biggest nectars he can find, hoping that they will be a good enough gift. He is going to ask her to marry him. 

She is walking around the white flowers, picking up a few and putting them in her flower crown. She looks up as they come. This time she doesn’t look as startled, but there’s something wary in her eyes. 

She’s beautiful and delicate, there’s no denying. Edmund needs her. Every fiber of his body needs her. She needs to be his wife, to be the mother to his children. He refuses to leave without her. 

“What brings you back?” she asks as Edmund gets close enough, but doesn’t sound like she wants to know. 

He can tell that she wants to get back to her tree. She gives it quick glimpses and takes small steps back towards it. 

Edmund holds out the flowers towards her. She hesitates before taking them out of his hand. Her fingertips barely graces his skin. Her touch is humanlike, kind and delicate. 

“Thank you”, she says and smells them softly. 

He smiles. He wants nothing more than to hug her, to hold what belongs to him in his arms, but he has to ask the question first.

“I want you to marry me”, Edmund says. 

The fairy drops the flowers in shock. They disappear underneath the small, white ones. Edmund furrows his brows.

“Marry you?” the fairy repeats, shocked. “How could I possibly-? No, no, I shall not.”

Edmund stares at her, eyes darkening, unable to understand how anyone could turn down his proposal. Women would travel far and wide to hear those words come from his mouth, and this fairy — who does she think she is — doesn’t even think twice before rejecting him. It should crush him, but instead it has the opposite effect. He will not leave without his fairy. 

He looks over his shoulder, at his ten men. “Seize her.”

Just as the ten men are about to grab the fleeing girl, his secretary grabs his shoulder. 

“Your majesty, don’t”, he says quickly. “That won’t be possible. She can’t leave the glade.”

“What do you mean?” Edmund scoffs.

���She’s connected to that tree.” He nods towards the tree in the middle of the field. “She can’t leave it.”

Edmund glares at the tree. That damn tree. The woman runs through the flowers towards her tree, hugging it tightly. Edmund finds it humorous how she thinks a simple tree could protect her. He could do it a hundred times better, will do it a hundred times better. 

He sees how she sinks down by the tree, huddled up by the tree bark, crying. Soon, she will search for comfort in him, not a damn tree. 

“We can’t take her”, the secretary says. “I don’t know what would happen if we tried, but as long as that tree is there, we can’t remove her.”

Edmund doesn’t answer as he walks back into the forest. The ten men follow him. His secretary keeps a distance. Edmund feels like he could explode with anger. He had pictured himself leaving the forest with his new fiance hand in hand. But he will not give up. He will get his fairy. 

He returns a third time the next day. This time he’s by himself … and this time, he’s brought an ax. Determined to take her with him. She will be his wife. This time, he’s not taking ‘no’ for an answer. He will not walk away empty handed. The thought consumes him as he marches through the forest, towards the glade. 

He can see her lying in the same spot he had seen her the first time. This time, she’s not humming. She opens her eyes as he gets nearer and jumps to her feet as her eyes fall on the sharp edge of the ax. 

“No!” she screams in pure panic. “No, what are you doing?! Don’t!”

Edmund lifts his hands and lands a blow on the bark, cutting away a piece. To his right, the fairy screams in agonizing pain and clutches her heart. He continues to hit the tree. The woman continues to scream. She cries in pain. 

It takes longer than he expects. He takes his eyes off the deep cut in the tree and turns them towards her. She’s lying between the roots, curled up with her hands pressed against her heart, crying and screaming. 

“Please stop!” she screams and sobs so that her entire body trembles. “Y-You’ll kill me! Please s-stop, please! I’m begging y-you!”

If he continues to hit the tree, she will die. 

Edmund will have to bring a piece of the tree with him and replant it in his castle’s garden so that it doesn’t die — so that she doesn’t die. He continues to chop. She continues to scream, cry and plead for him to stop. 

A loud creaking echoes through the air. He watches as the tree bends in half and falls. The fairy stumbles upon weak legs and hugs her fallen tree, sobbing. 

With the ax, Edmund manages to dig up root systems of the tree. He holds it in his left hand and grabs the fairy’s wrist tightly with his right. He yanks her up on her feet. 

“You belong to me now”, he says. 

She only sobs for an answer. She tries reaching out for her tree, but Edmund pulls her with him. She stumbles. He drags her into the forest. 

“Please …”, she sobs. “Please …”

He doesn’t know what she begs for. The tree is fallen, he can’t undo what he has done. 

“Please, I’m in so much pain”, she pants. 

He doesn’t listen, doesn’t have time for it. He has to get her to the castle, where he can lock her in, so that she can’t escape out to the forest again. 

He can feel her collapse. Edmund gasps and watches her lie lifeless on the ground. He shoves the tree roots in his pocket and hurries to check her pulse. She’s still living, for now. Edmund stresses to pick her up. Her limp body rests in his arms as he runs out of the forest, towards the castle. 

He runs into the castle yard, into the hallways and out to the garden. He lays the fairy down on the grass and hurried to dig a hole with his hands. Oh, how he hates the feeling of dirt under his nails. He can’t think about that now. 

He places the root in the hole and covers it with the soil. Edmund runs over to the fountain, cups his hands and fills it with water. He runs back and forth until enough water has been poured over it. He feels for a pulse on the fairy’s neck. There’s still a faint pulsation underneath his fingers. He removes his coat and places it on the ground beside the tree root before lifting the fairy onto it. He caresses her face. 

“You actually got her.”

He looks over his shoulder at his secretary. He stands there, looking at them in disbelief and horror. 

“Is she dead?” he asks. 

“No, not yet”, Edmund replies  breathlessly. “I brought a piece of the tree here and I have replanted it. She should survive. But we need flowers — lots of flowers. And anything else a fairy might eat. We need to nurture her back to life.”

“I’ll prepare some honey water, I think that should be drinkable.”

Edmund sits by the fairy, waiting patiently. 

Hours go by. She doesn’t move. Barely breathing. Edmund wonders if he she has fallen into some kind of limbo, where the tree is barely alive, and so is she. If the tree doesn’t survive, neither will she. He has to nurture both. 

He feeds the tree water and nutrient dense soil and tries to pour droplets of honey water into the fairy’s mouth. Sometimes she responds by swallowing softly, and sometimes let it drip out of her mouth. 

Hours turn to days. Days to weeks. As the tree slowly grows roots in Edmund’s soil and become stronger, so does the fairy. Edmund doubts that she will ever become as strong as she was before. The tree will never be in its full glory again, and neither will she. She can’t walk, her body is too weak to move more than a few minutes. He lets her rest by her short stub. When he can’t stay with her, he watches from afar, from one of the windows. She’s always curled up, hugging her stomach as if she’s got cramps. The poor thing never smiles anymore. 

He holds a glass of warm honey water in his hands as he walks out to the petty excuse of a tree. It'll take years to become as big as it originally was, but it will never be the original tree.

“Hi”, Edmund says softly and sits down beside the fairy, holding the cup to her dry lips.

She doesn't seem to care what she gets fed anymore. Maybe she hopes that it will kill her.

In a sense, Edmund has killed the fairy.

She drinks slowly.

“I don't know what to feed you when winter comes”, he says. “I have harvested a lot of nectar and sap, but I don't know how long that will be good for.”

A tear runs down her cheek. Edmund wipes it carefully.

“My fairy, don't worry”, he whispers reassuringly. “I will figure it out.”

He wishes that she could respond, but he hasn't heard her voice since that day she screams in pain — when he killed her.

He stands up, gives her forehead one last kiss before walking back inside. In the beginning, he used to have guards watch over the garden to make sure that she wouldn't run off, but he realized that as long as that tree is there, she isn't going anywhere.

[kaya-p]

heyy tay I would love it if you could write a nsfw alphabet for hasan because I reallyyyyy enjoy the way you write :))

NSFW ALPHABET WITH HASAN 🐦‍🔥❤️‍🔥

notes: im unbelievably horny… (and thank u sm anon😭)

🔖 — @babydollfacedangel @the-phantom-author @fullofgutsndopamine @questionable-behaviour @hasblair @bunnywabigheart @nfr-girly @benzodiazepines-withdrawal @kayakhasan @vicravluv @aomi-nabi

my pinned + my inbox is 📭 !

i am BEGGING YOU, to listen to this song while reading this please <3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

— i see hasan being a cuddly guy afterwards. gets you anything you need, he LOVES looking after you in bed and afterwards <333

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

— EVERTHING, especially your pussy. like he said before, all vaginas are beautiful <3

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

— SUCH A DIRTY SLUT FOR CREAMPIES!!! he’s practically confessed to enjoying creampies…

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

— he LOVES unsafe sex… heres the video at 46:08 <333

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

— he’s said that his body count is over 100…

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

— missionary with ur legs on his shoulders… ifykyk

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

— it’s a mixed of both, but when he’s giving… HES GIVING. but he does giggle every now and then <3

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

— STUBBLE GIRLYS STAND UP. there’s stubble/full shaved down there. makes him feel and look 10000000x hotter;)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

— like he’s said before… light some candles, slow n sensual, messy ass pussy fucker n eater ANDDDD lives for erotic and ambience lighting😋

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

— he prefers to be with you, while jacking off. ive explained this in my most popular nsfw work of him here.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

daddy, size, spanking, roleplay, exhibitionism, voyeurism, brat, praise, domination, creampies, blindfold sex, diy porn, choking (asphyxiation), katoptronophilia, public sex, quirofilia, getting caught, being close to being caught, degradation (to you), orgasm control, dirty talk, threesomes (if your comfortable with it), objectification, grinding, dry humping, breeding, sadism anddddd aftercare!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

— preferably at home (anywhere at home LMFAO) but doesn’t mind at all to do in public…

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

— you could literally looking like a hot mess and he would careless with bending over and pulling down ur joggers.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

— anything you don’t wanna do (same w him)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

— HES AN ACTUAL GOD… MESSY EATERRRR, beard… SOAKED (and his stubble is getting lighter), top… SOAKED, he for sure cums when whenever he’s eating you out. he’s going to fucking TOWN😭😭😭

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

— slow; for whenever he’s feeling sexy n erotic. but rough… OWHHHHHH🫡, until you become sore, beaten, used and EXHAUSTED. ifykyk, that clip of him on stream, the way to disney pride… HIS THRUSTS ARE SO DEEP, SEXY, SMOOTH, AND SWIFT AS HELLLLL

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

— sure why not, but you both prefer to go to third base then second base tbh. BUT, if you guys are out-out, 100% going to second base on each other no matter if you’re out with friends or on a date😭

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

— tbh, no. he’s had 100 women, sure he’s experienced. but like he’s said before, he’s pretty vanilla with some sexy ass kinks tho.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

— if i remember him saying before, he’s lasted for fours hours. DONT FULLY QUOTE ME ON THAT… I NEED TO FIND THIS CLIP OF IT. GIMME A CHANCE 😭😭

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

— 10000000%, he’s taking them toys to the battlefield. and likes he’s said before in the BDSM video, he has his own toys. in fact, he loves using them during sex.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

— are you fucking joking me… HAVE YOU SEE THIS MAN???? HES TEASING US EVERYDAY ON STREAM???? he’s a big PHATTTT teaser…

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

— in the BDSM video, he’s said he moans, growls and grunts a lot sooo…

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

— loves creampie-ing you in public whenever you don’t have the chance of changing underwear. he’s fucking loves filling you up, while letting his cock twitch in you when he’s done <3

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

— ive already stated this beforeeeee, 7inches and curves to the left!!!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

— pretty high, cant match it with u tho ;)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

— are you kidding me??? straight away LMFAOOO

[rosemariiaa]

~In this Unsaid~

pairing: Paige x Azzi

a/n: yea.. we’re here again and not at part 6 of my other fic, i procrastinate too much but i will start writing the chapter tomorrow 💌 also a tag for my baby ke @thaatdigitaldiary because she’s a lot of help and loves listening to me yap 💌

Song: Welcome and Goodbye- Dream, Ivory

theme- angst

Enjoy!!!

The gym echoes with the laughter of teammates, but all Paige could hear was the pounding of her heart. She sat on the bleachers and glared, watching Azzi joke and laugh with the others. It was maddening how easily they seemed to connect while she felt the weight of many unsaid words pressing down.

After practice, as the group began to go their separate ways, Paige found Azzi leaning against the wall, arms crossed, a mask of indifference hiding the storm underneath. Taking a breath that felt heavy in her chest, Paige finally approached the brunette.

“Why do you keep pretending everything’s fine?” The words slipped out, sharper than she intended.

Azzi didn’t look up. She couldn’t. Her gaze was fixed on the floor. “I’m not pretending. Just… tired, I guess.”

“Tired of what? Me? Us?” Paige stepped closer, frustration bubbling. “Because I can’t keep doing this back-and-forth. It’s exhausting Az.” Finally, Azzi met her gaze, anger flaring. “You think I want to feel like this? You think I enjoy watching you pull away?”

“Then why don’t you say something? Anything. I just want to know how you feel.”

“What do you want me to say?” Azzi’s voice trembled. “That I can’t stop thinking about you? That every time I see you, it hurts because I know it’s not enough?”

Paige’s heart dropped at the confession. “It’s not enough for me either. I keep wishing we could just… figure it out.”

“But we never do!” Azzi exclaimed, her voice cracking. “We keep circling around this, and it’s killing me. I’m scared of losing you completely.”

Paige felt tears prick her eyes. “You won’t lose me. I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t keep waiting for you to decide what you want.”

Azzi swallowed hard, voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe I already know, but I don’t know how to say it.”

Oh.

The silence stretched, heavy with unspoken truths. Paige took a step closer, the distance between them feeling both tantalizingly close and impossibly far. She could feel the heat radiating off Azzi, tension crackling like static.

Before the moment could dissolve, the buzzer sounded, signaling the end of practice. The spell broke, leaving only the echoes of their conversation hanging in the air.

———-

Days blurred as Paige prepared to leave for a tournament. The night before her departure, she lays in bed, staring at the ceiling, thoughts of Azzi flooding her mind like a tide pulling her under. They’d both been avoiding each other since that confrontation, and the silence felt like a chasm between them.

The next morning, at the airport, she felt her heart in her throat as she spotted Azzi across the terminal, standing like a beacon in the chaos. Paige’s breath hitched, a mix of longing and dread washing over her.

Azzi walked over, her expression a careful mask. “You came,” she said softly.

“I had to,” Paige replied, voice trembling. “I didn’t want to leave things like this.”

They stood there, surrounded by bustling travelers, but it was just them in that moment. The noise faded into the background as they locked eyes.

“This doesn’t feel real,” Paige said, struggling to hold back tears. “Like, I’m really leaving, and we’re just… here.”

Azzi’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears. “I hate this. I hate that it always ends like this.”

“I thought things would change. That we’d find a way to make it work,” Paige’s voice was thick with emotion.

“And what if we don’t? What if this is just… it? Another goodbye?” Azzi’s voice cracked, the vulnerability tearing at Paige’s heart.

“I don’t want it to be. I wish I could take you with me, but…” Paige’s words faltered, a sob threatening to escape.

“But you can’t. I can’t. It’s never been that easy for us,” Azzi replied, her tone heavy with resignation. Paige stepped closer, desperation in her gaze. “I’ll always care about you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, but caring isn’t enough.” Azzi’s voice broke as tears slipped down her cheeks.

As Paige stepped back, silence enveloped them, thick with everything left unspoken. She turned to leave but paused, glancing back one last time. Their eyes met, filled with unvoiced feelings, aching and raw.

“Maybe next time we’ll finally say what we mean,” Paige whispered.

“And what if next time never comes?” Azzi’s voice was barely a breath, filled with dread.

With that, Paige turned and walked away, each step feeling like a piece of her heart was left behind. The weight of goodbye settled in, a haunting melody that would follow her long after she left.

The air felt colder without Azzi’s presence. As Paige walked towards her gate, the echo of their unfinished story lingered in her mind—a welcome and a goodbye, forever intertwined, lost in the spaces they could never seem to bridge.

[iamakinniecollector]

something stupid

a/n: well, I thought about it a bit and I think I'll try to write my ideas for bill cipher x reader, I love him so much, I can't wait to get his book ^^ (sorry if my english is wrong, it's not my native language, and I'm terrible at handwriting too)

warning: bill is the trigger itself, cringe, a little g0re, stalker

summary: bill can't say the words "I love you", so how does he show his love?

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to hand you a bouquet made of guts, you don't know if they're made of human guts or... anyway, it definitely doesn't matter what they're made of, right?

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to sing karaoke with you while you are both completely drunk.

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to say stupid and some even silly pick-up lines, like:

“Do you come here often? what a coincidence, me too! Did you know that?" you two are in your house.

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to ask how your day was, even though he already knows what it was like because he’s been stalking you all day. You can't blame him for enjoying hearing your voice!

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to own rats and use them to spell your name on the door of his house, it’s cute in a way, but it’s extremely stressful to get all those dead rats out and he knows it.

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to watch you sleep at dawn, he listens to your breathing and the beautiful beating of your heart, but don’t worry! He doesn’t do anything to you while you sleep… every now and then you wake up with a pen scratch on your face, lucky for you that pens aren’t permanent.

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to spoil you and at the same time be spoiled (most of the time he prefers to be spoiled), this triangle is pure need juice, he is just a pre-teen.

— Bill hates saying the words "I love you", it's a stupid and idiotic phrase that humans invented, but sometimes he can't help but feel the urge to say something stupid like: I love you.

a/n: yes i made this based on the song "something stupid" let me be a stupid cringe

[yanderes-galore]

I saw a concept for Vox with singer darling on your drafts list and I immediately got a little idea.

can you write a yandere scenario for Vox where he watches/participates in darling's interview regarding a new release of their album? The interviewer (or maybe Vox is interviewing darling himself?) asks darling whether they sing their love songs with someone in mind. Only for darling to giggle and say yes.

I hope i described the general plot alright ":D

Sure! I think I have some ideas for this :)

The Concept this was based off of here.

The Interview

Yandere! Vox x Singer! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Delusional behavior, Isolation, Toxic work enviornment, Mature themes, Suggestive end, Forced relationship.

You are Vox's greatest star.

Starting as a singer he found at a club with Val, Vox picked you for a partnership... a deal. He fell for your voice upon hearing of your debut. Nowadays... you're his perfect singer.

By contract, you belong to Vox. Yet to you it's only in contract... only business. In return you're paid, given proper living, and overall backed by Vox. You're a star now... making albums and showing off your voice on TV.

Naturally, as a star, interviews are often set up for you to partake in. Vox, as your manager, sets them up for you to answer questions. He even sticks around during the interviews.

To him, it's a power move to show who you sing for... or perhaps to capture the audience for him and his prized singer.

Recently your albums have been featuring more love songs. You cover various genres at the suggestion of your audience and manager... yet love songs seem to have been your biggest hit. Which meant, of course, you were made to sing more love songs with your hypnotic voice.

Vox is aware he technically owns you through a deal. However... Vox wishes he had you completely. In fact, in his possessive delusions, he's convinced you already love him.

Being your boss wasn't going to cut it for him.

Normally Vox is... bored at your interviews. The only thing he's ever interested in is your voice as you speak. Even then he feels envy towards your interviewer.

Seriously, he should just take over the job of your interviewer after this, it would be so much easier for him....

He sits quietly on the couch beside you as the interviewer continues your latest interview. He's half paying attention, an arm around the back of the couch and over your shoulders. He's all smiles but he isn't paying attention...

Until one question came up.

"You've been writing a ton of love songs lately... anyone in mind?" The interviewer asks, catching you off guard for a moment. However... Vox listened eagerly, eyes glancing at you.

It's quiet for a long time but Vox can see a blush creep on your face. You clear your throat, still seeming to recover from the question. Vox can't help but feel a bit... anxious to hear what you have to say.

Then Vox hears your giggle and he feels a spark within him at the sound.

"Love songs? Oh, well... recently I have, yes." You giggle out. Vox nearly short circuits upon hearing what you said. He looks away, trying to calm himself, but his screen heats anyways.

Recently you've been thinking of someone for your love songs? There was always the option of you loving someone else. In fact, most people would assume you loved anyone but your boss.

Not Vox though.

No, Vox felt convinced you meant him. He didn't even care about the rest of the interview after that. He just felt so... giddy.

Your voice became white noise to him. He couldn't care about anything else. Even after the interview... Vox was more infatuated than he's ever been.

This wasn't like him. In fact, internally he's cursing himself for not keeping his composure. Yet he can't remove the smug smile on his face when around you.

After that interview, Vox rarely left your side. He originally was quite invasive and controlling with you. Except nowadays... there was a seductive aura to him.

You were aware of Vox's... behavior around you. He was probably your biggest fan even as your boss. The interview only proved such a theory to you.

In fact it may have just made things worse for you.

When you record a song or do an interview, Vox makes it a goal to show claim over you. He often praises you on TV, wrapping an arm around you as he leans against you. When you're done recording, Vox begins to get flirtatious until something else pulls away his attention.

The worst part...? You weren't even thinking of him when making your love songs. The passion you poured into your work was not because of him.

No, in fact, Vox's behavior stressed you out. He has stressed you out ever since he pressured you into a deal at the club. Your heart didn't belong to him... It belonged to another sinner you met and were involved with before Vox came along.

You would be a fool to decline the deal, however. An invitation to become a star by a Vee? It's a fantastic opportunity...

Even if it's just meant for Vox to continue living his delusional fantasies... the Overlord having fallen for you way before your deal.

The fact Vox made you a star is often what made you tolerate his behavior. You laughed off the flirting, you played along on TV... you did everything to keep your fame. You even give Vox every album you make for his growth... collection.

You hoped that was the only change the interview caused. You could deal with Vox being a bit more flirty. You can work if he keeps his delusions...

Until he confronted you.

"You sing about me, don't you?" Vox asks one night, sitting at a table in front of you. It was the day after a night of singing at the club. To help you relax, Vox bought you a drink or two to chat with you.

"I...." You struggle to say, feeling nervous under his glowing screen. What do you say? Will he know you're lying?

"No need to be shy, dear..." Vox chuckles, appearing unusually cheery. "I know the truth... you love me, don't you? Fallen for my charm? Isn't that what makes your music devilish?"

You feel small under his smug smirk. As usual... The TV was full of himself. However, you'd be idiotic to shatter his delusions... unless you're prepared for what happens after.

"Oh, of course....!" You force yourself to say with a smile, hoping to play off your feelings as genuine. "You're a great inspiration to me...."

"That so?" Vox hums, leaning on his hand. His gaze looks you over, still smug yet... hungry.

You nod quietly, leaning back in your chair to calm your nerves. The tension is suffocating for you. You can barely hear the beat of your heart over the bass of the club's music.

"Oh that's... Perfect!" Vox purrs, standing from his seat. You tense, watching him walk around to you before pulling you up from your seat. You squeak, which makes Vox hum in pleasure.

"Then if you feel the same... I think it's about time I showed you how much I adore you..." Vox chuckles, voice coated in desire. As though he's been waiting a long time for this. "I've been waiting for this for a long time...."

You look a bit fearful, but nod softly. Vox doesn't seem to notice, too full of himself to care. He merely cups your cheek... forcing you to look at him.

"You're mine, know that?" Vox whispers, red eyes scanning over you eagerly. "I hate how others look at you... but now... Now I won't have to worry about that, will I?"

You suffocate a yelp in your throat as Vox pulls you against his side, walking you out the club. His grip is tight. Another restraint to show you who you truly belong to... ever since that deal.

"Now let's get you home... I have a bonus to give you... now that you're fully mine." Vox teases, his words alluring. You only felt dread at the idea.

Vox wouldn't accept the idea of you loving someone else, of singing about someone else... you knew that... to him there was only one who belonged with you...

Him. Vox. Your boss, lover, and the owner of your soul.

[trainsinanime]

I sometimes reblog posts about US Americans being weird here, but honestly I don't love how angry or smug most of these posts are. It's just that angry and smug posts tend to get more traction, and so they get reblogged more, and so I tend to see them and reblog them myself. Hm, maybe there's a lesson for all of social media and for me in particular here.

Anyway, what I want out of these posts is not for any US Americans here to feel bad; it's just "funny" and perhaps, perhaps a tiny bit of consideration for how being US American means you experience the internet on easy mode.

This is not your personal fault. Nor is it ethically wrong. It's just a thing that exists, and it may be worth thinking about it.

Examples of that easy mode include:

It's your language. The vast majority of people on the internet need to know a second language to at least participate passively, let alone actively post. It's not just the internet; for e.g. my job, all documentation for all the tools is only in English, and I was required to listen to English lectures and write both my bachelor's and master's thesis in English, my second language, to pass. That's why e.g. posts about bilingualism tend to cause a bit of a discussion, because knowing a second language isn't a special skill but a necessary survival tool.

It is your world-wide culture. The list of most popular video games, TV shows, movies and songs tend to be fairly similar across the world (in particular the part of it we call it the western world, another discussion that I'll get into below), and they're dominated by the output of US media. There is no equivalent to e.g. Disney anywhere outside of the US.

It's your debates and discussions. Because of the huge importance the US has economically and culturally (not to mention militarily), we tend to discuss US topics a lot, and we tend to discuss them from an American point of view.

This introduces American oddities into a lot of the world. For example, I'm a STEM guy, I have a STEM education, a STEM job and my primary hobbies are also STEM based, so what I notice are imperial measurements like feet and inches. Those are not "one of two equally valid choices", they're the unique hobby of the English-speaking countries, and within them, increasingly only the US. But we still tend to see them here as if they were a normal usual thing, and often europeans (including me) feel compelled to provide translations into these units.

But it's not limited to that, court room dramas are another example where courts in the English-speaking world tend to work very differently from those in the rest of the world. E.g. there's no pleading guilty or innocent in most of the world. There are boundless more examples of that, and these things can be grating every once in a while.

As I said before, I don't think there's any moral value here either way. You're not wrong for being an American (but you're also not better because of it). As I hinted at before, I'm still in a very privileged position myself, being from a wealthy European country, and my culture even without Disney is still far closer to that of the US than it is to most of the rest of the world. I'm sitting in the very same glass house, just maybe a different corner (TODO fix this metaphor before posting).

For example, I'm talking about court rooms and inches versus meters, but if we're thinking about history and ethics, there's deep issues in both of them. When it comes to measurements, it's ultimately the question of whether you use the measurements of London or those of Paris. For most of the world it's a colonial imposition either way. You can make arguments for why one is better for technology than the other (and as you can probably guess, I have strong opinions here), but in the grand scheme of things, neither of them is more "ethical" or more "universal", not really anyway. Same with the way legal systems work, where again, countries either adopted (and more often than not were forced to adopt) either the English system or the French system (with quite a few countries choosing to adopt the German version of the French system as well).

I know that's a boring digression but it's something that's usually missing from these posts, especially ones written by europeans, including some I've written myself. I don't really have a conclusion to any of this either, except perhaps that this is something that's worth being aware of.

[marengogo]

Are You Sure ?! - #4: I Hate that YOU Love Hate You but, I Love YOU, so ...

I’m listening to a Mellow/Angsty Love playlist - (yes) it has BTS/ solos BTS songs as well

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello My Sentimental Girls, Bois and Enbys,

Please be kindly warned that I am going to be overpoweringly sensitive as I write this. Not necessarily because Are You Sure?! has unfortunately come to an end, but because, as I try to write this post, as always, “through” my TwinFlame’s JK emotional lens, the last two episodes really were so full of so many feelings that I am trying my best to order my thoughts and do them justice. Like, let me tell you, this boy really felt plenty, or better yet he allowed himself to truly feel a lot hence, as always, through respectful speculation and educated guessing I’ll try my best to convey my related observations. 

Towards the end of the post I’ll also have a little confession to make about something that I have been so determinedly ignoring, because the mere thought always makes me so uncomfortable, sad, and a tiny bit scared, so there’s also that.

All that being said, here I am, concluding this physical/sentimental journey, with my unrequested thoughts but with a hopeful sense that perhaps writing this down will somehow lessen my emotional weight, because let’s be for real, I am going to have AYS withdrawals on Thursday. So, is this post going to be long?  … 🤡 I mean, you should know me by now. For those who don’t know me, yes, it will be a long post 🙏🏾.

Truly free things are hard to come by nowadays. Undoubtedly, money has effectively found its way into our everything. Yet, there is one thing that hasn’t changed in its acquired value as in, how you get by it, and how you get it, etc. This one thing is still available free and you can find it anywhere, LITERALLY. However, whether or not you’ll be able to acquire it, and eventually keep it, is, to this day, one of the most debated, discussed, joyed over, cried over, mused over, etc, topic. 

Yes, you’ve guessed; it’s Love. 

I don’t believe I was actually ever taught about just Love in all its forms. Not at home, not at school school talked about famous people in love, sexual education, popular love … basically they beat around the bushes 🙄, or amongst friends, and if I had, I do not recall it, at all and y’all, I have one heck of a good memory, I will not be humble about that. I think that my first notions and ideas I formed about the concept of Love came through books and films, and let me tell you, there is an infinite related archive out there, which can be as exciting, as much as dangerous. Regardless, even though it was never really explained to me same for everyone most likely, as I grew up, EVERYONE loooved to talk about it, ALL THE TIME, so somehow, I made my own understanding of it. 

One of the things I understood was that some day, when I would become a woman, I would find an adult man, have a family, children, and live happily ever after because I would fall in love and some man would fall in love with me. I understood it as a given; Everyone, of a certain gender, falls in love with someone, of the opposite gender, because there is someone out there, of a certain gender, for everyone, of the opposite gender, just waiting to find you or to be found. Basically, Everyone will eventually find, and forever keep, mutual heterosexual romantic Love.

Spoiler alert: It wasn’t not true.

In fact, the true state of things is actually the very opposite. The minority of people on this planet, heterosexual or not, will experience, and live with true mutual romantic love, and will be able to keep it for a very long time, and even fewer others will be able to take it all the way to the day they die, those are at the Legendary Level ones. And I am not saying this because I am jaded or bitter or any other hurt and/or hater-inclined-behaviour, you can really miss me with alla dat. This is just that one very helpful, and hard, to accept and you don’t have to accept it by the way! reality that should hit everyone at some point, but not always does. When it doesn’t hit, people may end up tormenting themselves sometimes to death when and/or if they can’t “find love”, wondering if they are unloveable, what is wrong with them, etc etc etc.  

Reason why, it is paramount to love yourself first and foremost. 

Because it might be true that someone is “unlovable” or that there is “something wrong with them” but, if true, this is principally hindering one’s well-being because, finding and trying to fix whatever might be amiss with one's self, may not guarantee a successful mutual romantic love, but it does guarantee a happier life in general. I mean, listen, if in the scope of things, you might end up having to spend the rest of your life without a mutual romance, meaning, you have to spend infinite time with you, yourself & YOU, how is that going to work, if you don’t love yourself …? And, just in case it wasn’t common knowledge, Loving Yourself is not easy, like any other relationship, it takes work. The reason why therapy ain’t cheap ✌🏾💰💋but needed, honestly.

So, let’s make no mistake; alas Love, in any of its forms btw, if it is harmful, it is not Love is needed. In fact, as it turns out, human beings were “programmed” in such a way that having it in one's life would make their existence progress less painfully, or even painlessly. In addition, self-love is one of the purest, satisfying, and incredibly useful types of love out there.

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, for those lucky enough to find & keep romantic love regrettably, thus far, I am not one of those, trust me when I tell you, it is not at all smooth sailing. There are just so many factors to be factored in and the bear thought of it all can honestly be enough to make anyone not want to be bothered by it.

Yet, my beloved and most precious, TwinFlame seems to have found it. Now, I can’t guarantee it to be romantic as always, despite me believing it to be so but he sure as hell is fighting his darn life to keep it. So, yes, hm, I think

JK is in Love.

If it wasn’t clear enough in episode 1 all the way to this finale, JM is a person whose presence JK particularly wants in his life, and whose absence kinda makes him feel sort of … unsettled? … but I’ll dive deep into this, later on in this post. For now, it is important to point out that my TwinFlame not only actively looks after JM, but he actively seeks JM’s attention, he actively wants to be sought by JM, he actively tries to make JM happy, he actively wants to level with JM, he actively wants JM to be comfortable around himself JK and for JM to be comfortable with himself JM. Basically, JK cares, in his own way, quite loudly for JM. And I say “his own way” because I believe JK’s emotional intelligence (EI) to be somewhat different from the common ones. I actually received an ask about his EI, which I plan to answer very soon 🙏🏾, so for now, I will not dive into that in this, cos I really ain’t trying to compete with the length of dictionaries with this post 😬. 

Japanese people, traditionally, have a fascination for sad love stories, and ever since I got into 875, I’ve been wondering if Koreans feel the same way but in their case, it is likely to be just Sadness period. You see, in the West, we “all” love a heartbreaking and passionate love story, the reason why Romeo and Juliet will probably be eternally famous. Yet, we don’t believe that true love is love, because it is brought about by unbearable suffering, so it must be real. We are more of the true love, is love, because it leads to immeasurable happiness kinda style. Basically we Westerners love Romeo and Juliet because of what they could have been, but Japanese and maybe Koreans would love Romeo of Juliet because of what they were to each other. So when a person like me watches a movie like 5 Centimetres per Second and swears to never watch it EVER AGAIN which I haven’t and refuse to, a Japanese person might think that is probably one of those movies they’ll find themselves watching over and over again and let me tell you, it was great, I just don’t think I can handle a second viewing, no thanks.

So if I am correct in thinking that Koreans feel similarly as Japanese in this matter, JK, like many other Korean folk, loves to sing sad/angsty/melancholic songs. Either by himself, or in company, like he used to with Tae probably they still do as well as watching sad movies, like JM’s favourite being The Notebook and JK’s being Titanic. Yet, here is where the glitch in the matrix happens; JK was most likely not that serious but wasn’t he? 😬 when he brought this up however, he seemed to be a little bothered by the fact that JM really liked “Hate You” out of all the song in his album. JM sang Seven, 3D and Standing Next to You this particular one he kept bringing up like there was no tomorrow, throughout all 3 trips, yet, when he played Hate You in the car, for the second time because he had as well in episode 6 JK was like; “Why?”. 

Let me tell you something.You know how I usually skip Spring Day, cause I can’t really handle it? Before AYS Ep. 8 I used to skip Hate You as well for the same reasons as Spring Day; it was too sad for me to bear as it felt closely related him singing it alone makes me relate it to him in my flowed brain, even though he didn’t write it 🙃 to people I love, people being the Tannies. Lovely by Khalid and Billie Eilish in comparison is MUCH SADDER but because I am in no way emotionally connected to either Khalid or Billie I don’t mind listening to the song at all I love that song. 

Anyways, Long story short, it looked like it bothered him a tiny bit. It felt almost as if “Sure, we are Koreans and we like sad love songs, this being an excellent one, but I don’t want MY love story to be sad” kind of bothered “also this better have NOTHING to do with the fact that Shawn Mendes wrote this song!” - perhaps nervously thought JK 🤡🤣😂. In fact, there are a few situations that came up, involving him and JM, which “bothered” him and he had no qualms in bringing up with JM right away, which by the way is healthy AF. JK seems to be the type of partner that wants to confront you right away and will not let it be until he hears the words that make him know that the “conflict” is cleared to his own satisfaction, or until he senses you don’t want to talk about it any further in that particular moment.

Those are all examples, during AYS, where JK was satisfied with the answer that JM gave him to the legit concerns/silly questions he brought up. JK’s reaction right after all of those answers was him being content/happy, by laughing, singing along, or something else, hence moving on. Below is an example where he wasn’t satisfied with the answer:

Did he just drop it? Did they talk it out? As always, we will never know, as this part cuts into another scene. Only JK, JM and the editors will know and this is a fact we should never forget. Never forget about editing limitations, and this is a very good moment to add that even though whoever translated this show did a shitty ass job, the crew that went with them, to film in Sapporo specifically, seemed to be quite familiar with them, their dynamics almost like friends, which I think contributed with JK and JM feeling as comfy as they did in Japan.

Japan.

By the looks of it, this is the country that holds special meaning to both myself and my TwinFlame and, NGL, this kinda makes me happy and feel special LOL 😜. BUT, I DIGRESS! Didn’t JK seem a bit more … relaxed? Besides the very romantic fact that he wanted to go back to Tokyo because it was their first trip, didn’t JK seem a tad flirtier, a tad cuter, a tad more annoying, a tad comfier and just so fucking happy? He, and I’d dare say JM as well, truly let their guards down, even if just a tad. The fact that JK & JM wondered how the crew would have edited the content tells me that they were fully aware about the fact that they were being filmed, but didn’t want to think too much about it, because they wanted to also have a sense of freedom. Because of that, perhaps, they tried to give us as much realness as they could, restraining themselves in some instances, while also saying Fuck it! in few other cases during which they perhaps forgot about the fact that they were being filmed, confidently relying on their trusted crew to properly edit the footage in the best way possible. But back to the main point,

JK is in Love.

JK is probably the type of person who wishes he could have an answer, and/or remedy, to any problem his significant other may have. Yeah, he is probably the type of man that wishes he could take away all their pain, or feel it for them instead, and it is exactly because he seems to be willing to do anything for his loved one’s well-being that I think that sometimes he does struggle with some of their societal boundaries, such as; age hierarchy. Without getting too much into his EI, the part in episode 7 where he brings up how things would have been if he and JM would have been born the same year really stood out and stayed with me.

In this particular instance, for the first time I finally got to see him kinda mind about their age difference, almost troubled and not because he might think it to be a lot which it isn't at all, but because according to their societal practices, he theoretically should constantly be mindful about it, limiting greatly the actions he can do, not that he’s ever heed to them, but the fact is that he should, and in certain situations, he must. If we think about it properly, right from their debut years, JK has struggled a lot with referring, and treating, JM as a hyung, which is actually quite weird considering that the person he treated more like a “chingu” friend of the same age in this context was is Tae, even though, to my knowledge, he’s never dropped honorifics with him and had no desire in doing so, as explained during the first In The Soop which in hindsight, I’m sure must have confused Tae a lot who has been trying to be his cool hyung for as long as I can remember  (the following pictures are not from In The Soop, but Festa 2021). 

Like, it is honestly so peculiar how, back in the day, JK had never really treated JM as your typical “chingu”, nor a hyung, yet found himself sticking by JM’s side a lot, off cameras, filming him a lot, acting stand-offish just to apologise right after, staring at him a lot, learning all his likes and dislikes, studying his body and habits, doing questionable things such as focusing rather often on his lips and butt through a camera lens, which eventually evolved into JM being the first member he’s ever bought a gift for, as well as being the first member he’s ever travelled alone with… basically, as I’ve stated, JK has really never seen JM as his hyung or friend though he does try to remind himself of it. 

So if JM is not a hyung, or a “chingu”; then what is he? 🙄… 

Wanna know what’s even funnier? JM clearly cares about JK enormously and though he likes most of all of his sides cos JK can be annoying when he wants to 🤡✌🏾 the side he likes the most is his cute side; but here comes the catch. It would seem that from their debut days, JM truly became fond of that cutesy, happily skipping, side that JK shows with his hyungs in particular and the fact that they are ALL his hyung, including JM, just made writing this sentence so weird NGL …, that cuddly, super-maknae aura he has many a time, with literally everyone but the 95s, because Tae, as speculated, he seems to see as a chingu and JM as a … charming person?? Whatever that means.

Now JK does give JM “cute”, sometimes, but it is not the little brother kind of cute. It’s that “don’t go without me…” kind of cute, “let’s buy the same one” kinda cute, “you didn’t show me first, so I am hurt” kinda cute, “how do I look?” kind of cute “I can film you, but don’t film me” kind cute, “... spend time with ME!” kinda cute … you get the jist, don’t you? Cause, repeat after me; He a simp, he a simp, he a simp! And there is nothing wrong with being a simp tbh, as long as you own up to it, and JK does own up to it marvellously 💋.

And remember when I mentioned about him feeling sort of unsettled when JM isn’t around? I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days but doesn’t it almost feel like a sort of … separation anxiety? Through the whole episodes it sometimes felt like he tried to do as much as possible, of anything, with JM as if he would just take off and leave at some point. This could also explain him always popping up on WEVERSE whenever JM took a flight, or trying his darn best to get him to come around even though they had just spent so much time together in the US. But who knows right? Perhaps he just really loves to spend every hour, every minute, every second with JM because, like crazy,  

JK is in Love.

So in love that he thought it important for himself to drive them to the airport, hence he didn’t drink that last beer I know he was dying inside, as well as taking a flight to Korea with JM, when he really could have just flown to the US from Japan. So in love that out of all the trips he's been to in his life, Are You Sure?! is the best trip he’s ever been on and he wishes to reboot when they come out of the military, where, by the way, they presently are together 🤡 . So in love that he wasn’t going to have JM get sad and lost in his own thoughts while in his presence, no, reason why, like a knight in shining armour, he “went and saved” him from his slump and not because JM was a princess in distress, but because prince charming also needs saving every once in a while If you ask me, the main “princess” in this relationship is my TwinFlame, no doubt, cause I also fo happen to think that they do take turns, for sure. Hence, the main “prince charming” is most definitely JM, and btw, frequency of a certain behaviour is not a factor that determines who is “main” 💋. 

Marengo Confession-Time!  😬- here it goes: I love watching people react to ANY 875 content, but I haven’t been able to watch anybody react to Are You Sure?! Because to put it plainly I am scared. I’m scared that people will question their relationship, or have homophobic reactions, or feel uncomfortable watching them when they do what they do. I just don’t want them to be hated for something they can’t help and are comfortable with. For the most part I am sure they would maybe nt comment, or chalk it up as “brotherly behavior", but what if they don’t? In fact, I am also so apprehensive of the reaction the world would have if they are a couple if they ever came out, it genuinely terrifies me.

I don’t want them to be looked at like freaks, or worse, so I am not able to bring myself to watch people react to them, in the same way I turn off when people have unwarranted shit to say when reacting to 875’s music. If they are a couple, I truly want them to be happy, safe, and become part of the Legendary Level ones. So, even though the world may not be fully ready to want their chapter in their history books, I hope it will someday,  because theirs would be such a motivating and enthralling chapter at that. 

I don’t know what will await them when they come out of ME. It is interesting though that JK made all these memories during the trip to take with himself and think about while serving. The snow he watched with JM, the restaurants they ate at, the time they tried skiing for the first time, the antics in the sauna and the “scuzzi”, the tuna-mayo gimbap he knew JM would love, the good afternoon and good night whiskey, and more. Now that I think about it, in some way, JK has a similar Love background to mine, he most likely wasn’t taught that romantic Love can come from someone of the same gender and he wasn’t exactly taught that not having children or a traditional family can be okay. 

Yet, I have a feeling that just like me, through movies perhaps, songs, or other means he’s figured out a thing or two. I have a feeling that he will decide for himself what Love is to himself, all the forms of Love he will need, who embodies Love for him, and what role Love will take in his life, and whether or not JM turns out to be that person MAKE NO MISTAKE: JM is an incredibly important person in his life. So, it is a strong feeling I have, but then again when has JK ever not taken control of his own life? When has he ever not followed his instincts and/or succumbed to what people want him to do? Same for JM really. 

These are two boys who found themselves in Seoul even though they were born in Busan, like, the universe wanted them to meet. They are two boys, who, along with the other five, made the phrase impossible Is Nothing feel real. After all, these are indeed two boys who really can’t be told to do anything. There is a very famous quote, which kinda makes me think of them:

I am the Master of my Fate, I am the Captain of my Soul.

So yeah, the future is uncertain but one thing is for sure, no relationship that took so long, so much care, and so many trails to build, can be so easily destroyed. So, fighting TwinFlame, whatever it is you want, you got this! 👊🏾.

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

PS - Dammit! I miss them so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Hidden Flames : Chapter 12

Word Count : 3.3k

Warnings : swearing, drinking, cheating but not really?, mentions of sex (very briefly), mentions of underwear (in a jokey way), drinking games, lots of making out, ANGST

A/N : Oooh boy this one was fun to write. Kayla and I had so much fun brainstorming this chapter so we both hope you enjoy reading it just as much! Special shout out to our Mae baby who also helped brainstorm this chapter! Much love

            She didn’t know how she got here. How everything blew up so fast. How one second they were playing games and the next everything was seemingly crumbling around her. Stuck between her fake boyfriend and the man she loves. She can feel eyes on her, awaiting her next move, but she’s stuck.

            Parties weren’t Y/n’s thing. They never have been. They were more Mingi’s thing. Something he picked up in university with his new friends. Something he chose over her time and time again. While her and Yeosang stayed home, watching movies and eating an absurd amount of food. And she wished Mingi would choose her just once.

            So no, parties were not her thing. But when she tried to say no, she made the mistake of looking at Mingi’s face, and he just looked so happy, she couldn’t bring herself to say no to him. Forever her weakness : Song Mingi.

            He promised to keep it small. Invite only their friends. Hoping she’d be more comfortable if there wasn’t a house full of people. He told her Mae and Wooyoung could make anything a party, so even with a small amount of people, it’ll be fun.

            Mingi and Kayla set everything up, telling Y/n and Yeosang that everyone was coming to celebrate them, so they don’t need to lift a finger. So Y/n sat on the couch, glancing over to the kitchen where the pair were setting up food and alcohol. Whispering and giggling amongst each other. She hated that she couldn’t look away, no matter how badly her heart was hurting.

            “Focus on me.” Yeosang said, gently grabbing her face. “Look at me and no one else.” His voice was soft and comforting. It brought her a calmness she only felt with him. So she listened, her eyes tracing over every part of his face. His eyes that looked at her with adoration. His lips that spoke to her softly. His nose that he liked to press into her neck when they were cuddling, telling her she smells nice. His birthmark that she loves so much, tracing it with her fingers every chance she got.

            Yeosang glanced up to see Mingi and Kayla looking at them, both of them completely frozen as they watched. He smiled before pressing a soft kiss to Y/n’s forehead. Her eyes widened slightly at the sudden contact. And then she did something that Yeosang wasn’t expecting. She kissed him.

            Everyone was confused, sobering up quickly as everything blew up. No one knew if they should move or say anything. Mae, Wooyoung, Cassi, and Hongjoong just sat silently, exchanging confused looks, as they watched everything unfold. Mingi was staring at Y/n, Y/n was looking between Mingi and where Yeosang went. Kayla was watching to see if Y/n would follow Yeosang, but no one said anything.

            Yeosang was still walking on air by the time everyone had shown up, reliving the kiss over and over in his mind. He hadn’t stopped smiling since she kissed him. Barely leaving her side, one arm around her at all times. He noticed Mingi and Kayla staring at them more than usual, as if they couldn’t look away from the couple.

            “What do we say to playing a game?” Kayla spoke up with a smile. Everyone began to gather in the living room, listening to Kayla explain the rules. To Y/n, it just sounded like a drinking game version of the newlywed game. And by the way Kayla keeps staring at her, she wonders if it’s to try and catch her and Yeosang in a lie. She started to feel nervous, and Yeosang seemed to notice if him squeezing her hand was anything to go by. So she focused on that and decided to just trust Yeosang.

            “Everyone have a drink?” Mingi asked after all the rules were explained and everyone sat with their respective partner. “Oh kitten your cup is practically empty. Here let me get you refill.” Mingi reached for Y/n’s cup, but before he could grab it, Yeosang took it from her hands, staring Mingi right in the eyes.

            “I can get my girlfriend a refill.” Yeosang says, still not moving or looking away from Mingi. Tension filled the room as the two stared at each other. Everyone stayed silent and still, wondering what the fuck was going on. Until someone had had enough and stood up.

            “I’ll get her a refill.” Mae said, ripping the cup from Yeosang’s hands. “Men.” She said with a roll of her eyes before sauntering into the kitchen and mixing Y/n a drink. Both Mingi and Yeosang were pouting when she returned, but she really didn’t care. “Here you go baby.” Y/n thanked her.

            “Can we start the game now? I want to show all you fuckers that Mae and I are the superior couple.” Wooyoung said.

            “Oh please. You forget if you have underwear on immediately after getting dressed. You expect us to believe you remember anything about Mae?” Hongjoong teased. “Obviously Cassi and I are the superior couple. I mean, just look at us.” Cassi was sitting in his lap, one arm draped around him. Hongjoong pressed a kiss to her cheek, making her giggle.

            “Oh do you wanna go old man?” Wooyoung said, earning a playful slap from his girlfriend. “Ouch! Hey!”

            “I’m older than him you dipshit.”

            “Ah yes but look how gracefully you’ve aged bunny.” Wooyoung replied, caressing her cheek before tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “Like a fine wine you only bring out for special occasions.” Mae tried to hide her smile. “Haven’t aged a day since we met.” She rolled her eyes and mumbled suck up under her breath, but she couldn’t deny the blush dusting across her face.

            “Okay. Okay! We get it. You’re in love.” Kayla joked, throwing a chocolate at Wooyoung, who just picked it up and ate it. “If anyone were to be a superior couple, it would be the throuple that is the wifey trio. So be lucky we paired off with our men tonight.”

            “Damn right. You tell them, Kayla.” Cassi replied, blowing her and Mae a kiss.

            “The best trio to ever trio.” Mae added.

            “You know how we can figure out who the superior couple is? By playing the game.” Mingi spoke up, wrapping an arm around Kayla. “And I think we’ll all be surprised by the answer.” He added with a smirk, pressing a kiss to Kayla’s cheek, taking her by surprise, but she did her best to play it off. And Y/n tried to pretend it didn’t bother her seeing them together.

            “Okay. Everyone grab a notebook and marker from the table. Let’s get started!” Kayla announced, clapping her hands together, taking a quick glance at Yeosang, hoping to see him looking over at her and Mingi. But his attention was only on Y/n, and she was starting to wonder if she was wrong about their relationship being fake.

~

            They were well into the game, everyone getting drunker by the minute. The questions were getting progressively harder, and even the long term couples were struggling. Yet, Yeosang and Y/n have yet to get a question wrong. Mingi and Kayla were taken by surprise, wondering how they could pass with flying colours.

            Mingi was especially taken by surprise, wondering how Yeosang could know things about her that even he doesn’t know. He’s known her longer than Yeosang has. He grew up with her. All the things he learned about her past, Mingi has lived through with her. He’s known her longer, loved her longer, and yet it’s like he doesn’t know her at all.

            “Okay I think we all know who the superior couple is. We can stop.” Cassi said, looking over to Yeosang and Y/n, smiling to herself as she watched her best friend with her boyfriend. Happy to see her so happy, to see her with someone that makes her glow.

            “I would just like the record to show that bunny and I definitely came in second though.” Wooyoung spoke up. He wrapped his arms around Mae’s waist, pressing a quick kiss to her shoulder after pulling her into his lap. “I may not remember underwear 9 times out of 10, but I remember every single detail of my girlfriend.”

            “Yeah, you probably could have left out the underwear part. But the other part was cute.” Mae replied with a smile, giving her boyfriend a kiss. “Some of those questions were hard as fuck.” She added, turning back to the rest of the group.

            “The wifey trio still would have creamed all of you.” Cassi taunted.

            “I think we’d rather watch you cream a different way.” Hongjoong teased, earning a soft slap on the arm, but Cassi was giggling, so he knew she wasn’t actually upset at him.

            “Y/n and Yeosang, how the fuck do you know so much about each other when you two just started dating?” Mae asked.

            “Yeah Y/n and Yeosang. How do you know each other so well?” Kayla asked, crossing her arms across her chest, looking at them like she was accusing them of something. Mingi was sat next to her, going through the last half hour in his mind. Memorizing every answer Yeosang gave about Y/n, promising himself that he’ll never forget a single detail about her. No matter what.

            “Simple really. We’ve been friends for years.” Yeosang answered. “And we talk more than we have sex.” Mingi’s head snapped towards them when he said this. They’ve had sex? How did he not know? Then he remembered all the nights he was gone at a party. Or just out with Kayla. All the nights he left Yeosang and Y/n alone, thinking that nothing would happen between them, and now he’s lost her.

            It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. Kayla and Mingi had everything planned, but Mingi saw his chance, and he took it. Against his better judgement. But Y/n was still standing in front of him, hesitating. Does that mean he still has a shot? “Y/n.” He spoke softly, and she looked up at him. He could see the tears welling up in her eyes, the confusion, the millions of questions. “I-“ but before he could finish his love confession, he was interrupted.

            “Let’s play a classic!” Mingi spoke up. It’s been almost an hour since the last game. Almost an hour since he realized that Kayla might have had Yeosang and Y/n all wrong. Almost an hour since the voices in his head wouldn’t shut up, telling him he’s lost her for good. “Spin the bottle.” He added, holding up an empty bottle.

            This wasn’t part of the original plan. They were hoping to catch them in their lie during the first game. Call them out for getting every question wrong, but they did the opposite. As if they were perfect for each other. Made for each other. Soulmates.

            This wasn’t part of the original plan, but Mingi was drunk and upset. And he needed an excuse to kiss Y/n. Prove to her that they were meant for each other, not her and Yeosang. Prove to her that they still had the spark they did in high school, that it grew into a flame. A hidden flame, because he was still scared to tell her he loved her, but a flame, nonetheless.          

            Everyone sat in a circle, the bottle in the center. It felt so high school, but everyone was so drunk that it didn’t matter. Mae took initiative and went first. It landed on Kayla, so she crawled across the circle towards her, crawled into her lap, and kissed her, her hands gently cupping Kayla’s face. “Goddamn why doesn’t she kiss me like that?” Wooyoung asked.

            “She does.” Cassi replied, slapping him on the arm.

            “Oh yeah.” Wooyoung replied with a giggle. Cassi rolled her eyes. Mae took her spot next to Wooyoung again after she was done making out with one of her girlfriends. Kayla took her turn, watching the bottle spin and spin, hoping it would land on Yeosang. It ended up landing on Wooyoung, so she crawled across the circle towards him and gave him a quick kiss.

            “Oh come on. I’ve watched him fuck you and now you’re shy?” Mae teased, so Kayla gave him another kiss, this time more intense. “Fuck. So much better!”

            The game continued like that for a while. Everyone taking turns. Only Y/n and Yeosang were giving quick kisses, while everyone else made out with whoever the bottle landed on. Somehow, the bottle had yet to land on Mingi. So everyone decided he should give it a spin so he could finally join in on the fun.

            He knew who he wanted it to land on. Watching the bottle so intensely it was as if he was trying to control it with his mind. And it worked. When it stopped, he looked into her eyes, a shy smile on his face trying to hide his excitement. She seemed nervous, but he didn’t hesitate in getting up, pulling her to her feet, and kissing her like he’d never see her again.

            She had promised Yeosang before the game that to keep up the ruse of their relationship, they would only give quick kisses, little pecks but nothing more. But she couldn’t help herself when it came to Mingi. Melting into the kiss quickly and wrapping her arms around his neck. And suddenly it was as if the entire world disappeared and all that was left was the two of them. Mingi and Y/n. Y/n and Mingi.  

            They shared a few kisses during their short lived relationship, but none like this. In high school, they were both so nervous, so awkward. It was all pecks and sloppy make outs. But this? This was full of passion, love, longing, need. All the feelings they’ve held back, they put into this kiss.

            Yeosang could feel his heart break a little at the sight and got up from the circle and stormed off. Only then did Y/n pull away from Mingi. “What did I just do?” She asked herself, turning to follow Yeosang, but Mingi grabbed her wrist, begging her to stay with his eyes.

            “I guess I’ll go check on your boyfriend since you’re so busy with mine.” Kayla said, storming off after Yeosang. Y/n opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out, turning again to follow, but Mingi stopped her again.

            “Please don’t go.” She looked up at him, then in the direction Yeosang and Kayla walked off in, back to Mingi, and then down to his hand still wrapped around her wrist. Gently, she removed his hand, but he grabbed her other wrist with his other hand. “Let me talk, Y/n. Please.”

            “We can talk later, Mingi. I have to fix things with Yeosang.” Mingi dropped his arm, allowing her to follow Yeosang. He realizes now he took too long to confess. She slipped through his fingers right in front of his eyes. He thought she’d always be there. That it would always be the two of them. But he sees now how wrong he was.

            “Why do you look like you just got rejected? It’s not like you’re in love with Y/n.” Wooyoung chuckled, clapping Mingi on the back, who just shot him a look. “Holy shit you’re in love with Y/n? Why didn’t you say something?” Mae pulled him away from Mingi, lightly smacking him on the arm, telling him to shut up.

~

            Yeosang was pacing in the backyard, trying to get the image of Mingi and Y/n out of his head. He should have known things would end up like this if they were to play spin the bottle. Should have known she would end up in Mingi’s arms.

            Their relationship was fake. Meant to make Mingi confess. He just hoped he had more time with her. To pretend everything was real, that she loved him and not Mingi. He knows he can’t make her fall in love with him, as much as he would love to do so, but when it’s just the two of them, he can pretend she does.

            He stopped pacing when he heard someone else come outside. He had hoped Y/n would follow him out, tell him she doesn’t love Mingi anymore. But this isn’t a movie. He’s not going to get the girl.

            “I’m so sorry, Yeosang.” Kayla said as she approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know why she would do something like that when she has you.”

            “I know why. And I’m fine. I just needed a minute.” He replied, brushing her hand off his shoulder. “Thanks for coming to check up on me though.” He gave her a small smile.

            “Of course. Y/n was too busy with Mingi, so I figured I should come make sure you were okay.” What did she mean by that? Were they still making out? Or worse. Did they go upstairs? “Seems like she just can’t make up her mind.” Yeosang looked towards the house, wondering what happened after he left. Did his leaving give them the perfect opportunity to go further? “What’s going through that pretty little head of yours?” Yeosang looked towards Kayla before looking back at the house and started to head back inside, but Kayla stopped him. Grabbing him by the arm, turning him around, and kissing him before she could stop herself.

            Yeosang quickly pushed her off. “What are you doing?” He asked, but her eyes were looking behind him, and she had a small smirk on her face. Y/n was standing at the door of the backyard, frozen in spot. “Pretty girl I can explain.”

        ��   “Please do.” Y/n took a couple steps closer, crossing her arms across her chest.

            “Kayla please give us some privacy.” Yeosang asked, his gaze not leaving Y/n. Kayla was shocked at how easily Y/n had him back wrapped around her finger. And she didn’t even appreciate it. Seemingly willing to leave the second Mingi showed a little bit of interest. Whereas Kayla would kill to be in her shoes and have Yeosang all to herself.

            “See how easily I can take what’s yours?” Kayla teased as she passed Y/n, bumping her shoulder as she walked by.

            “So just because our relationship is fake you think you can kiss whoever you want?” Y/n asked. Yeosang stepped closer to her, taking her hands in his.

            “She kissed me and I pushed her off, I swear.” Y/n didn’t say anything. “Besides you started it!”

            “It was part of the game, Yeosang!”

            “Looked a little passionate to be part of a game!” He threw his hands in the air before letting his arms fall back down to his sides.

            “You thought that was passionate? I’ll show you passionate!” She grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Yeosang was taken aback, but quickly returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her as close as he could. She wrapped her arms around his neck, getting more into the kiss. Loving the way his arms felt around her, melting at the way his lips felt against hers. Every time one of them pulled away, the other would pull them back, as if they couldn’t get enough of each other.

            And on the other side of the door stood two people feeling their hearts break all over again.  

back to masterlist

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[twistedroseytoesy]

Be prepared for Leona's scheme

Perfect song for book 2's events. animatic style for this one since the story for it is just from book 2 of the game.

Leona in front of his dorm: I never thought others' essential moving between some of the groups of students: They're crude and unspeakably plain he turns to them once he reaches the back: But maybe they've a glimmer of potential He flips his hair with a smirk: If allied to my vision and brain He snaps his fingers as a bolt of magic shoots between two whispering students: I know that your powers of retention Are as wet as a warthog's backside He hisses as he moves on top of a stone before them all: But thick as you are, pay attention! He glares into the star-filled night sky: My words are a matter of pride he waves his hand in front of a sloth beast person: It's clear from your vacant expressions He smirks as he points to his temple: The lights are not all on upstairs he pulls out a spelldrive disk: But we're talking winners and successions He throws it and many of them duck as it wizzes overhead: Even you can't be caught unawares summons illusionary trophies: So prepare for a chance of a lifetime illusions of news about savanaclaw: Be prepared for sensational news A shining new era Is tiptoeing nearer Jack: And where do we feature? Leona glaring at the wolf's returning glare: Just listen to teacher he frowns a bit: I know it sounds sordid he tosses illusionary money at them: But you'll be rewarded When at last I am given my dues! he pulls out and rips apart a diasomnia flag: And injustice deliciously squared all: Be prepared!

all: It's great that we'll soon be connected With a player who'll be all-time adored Leona smirking as he watches them: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected To take certain duties on board more illusionary money is thrown: The future is littered with prizes he smirks as he places a crown on his head: And though I'm the main addressee his smirk falls: The point that I must emphasize is the illusions disappear as he roars: You won't get a sniff without me!

He throws out another diasomnia flag: So prepare for the coup of the century he throws a picture of malleus into the mud: Be prepared for the murkiest scam Meticulous planning Tenacity spanning he looks at the 2nd place trophies from previous times: years of denial Is simply why I'll he sets them on fire: Be winner undisputed he walks past the lineup, some bowing some saluting: Respected, saluted he flips back onto the rock smirking: And seen for the wonder I am Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared Be prepared! all excitedly ripping up diasomnia stuff with claws and teeth: Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared Be prepared!

[afewproblems]

Season 2 Halloween AU Part Four

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

A very big thank you to @strangersteddierthings for chatting with me today and being such a great sounding board for the next update!

Synopsis: What if Eddie had been at Tina's Halloween Party in Season Two? Featuring Steve!Whump, Stancy Breakup, and Eddie just trying to keep up with all these new revelations about who King-Steve actually is...

***

"So…I have to ask," Eddie blurts out, cutting through the awkward silence that has fallen between them, "how were you gonna pick up your car before you ran into me?"

"I don't think it counts as running into you, if you were waiting for me Munson," Steve side steps the question expertly, flashing him a strange smirk that seems out of place. It falls after a second and twists into something pained.

"I was hoping Nance would take me," Steve says eventually, his voice soft, "which was pretty stupid in hindsight, 'specially cuz she was counting on me to drive her this morning, which--"

Steve cuts himself, snapping his mouth shut with a harsh click of teeth, he shakes his head and lifts his hand to run roughly through his hair.

"Doesn't matter anymore".

Eddie holds his breath, feeling the conversation begin to shift. It's as though he's stepped onto a tightrope and any wrong move could potentially send him over the edge.

He settles for nodding once, turning the key in the ignition.

Steve sighs and lets himself fall back into his seat, "I know you know already, the whole fucking school does, Billy saw to that," Steve gestures to his face, "say what you really want to ask". 

Eddie's fingers tighten around the wheel as he turns them out of the parking lot, fighting the immediate urge to say, 'why did Miss Priss throw it all away?' 

"You think I believe the rumours that come out of that shithole?" Eddie lies, keeping his eyes on the road this time.

He can feel Steve's unimpressed stare as they continue down mainstreet.

"Right, so you had no clue I was in detention?"

Eddie chews the inside of his cheek to fight the sly grin that begins to creep over his face, "Alright smart ass".

He hazards another glance at Steve as they begin to hit the residential area, he looks so different from the night before.

His limbs are loose, tension free, if it weren't for the heavy bags under Steve's eyes and the nervous tap of his fingers on the passenger door, Eddie would think he was finally relaxed.

"I knew a fight definitely happened, it's Hargrove," Eddie says slowly, carefully weighing his words, "but I typically prefer to hear the whole sordid story from the source before I pass any judgements, ya know?" 

Steve doesn't say anything as they continue driving through residential  the houses getting progressively bigger as they go.

"Did you," Steve pauses and breathes out slowly before shaking his head and lifting his face to meet Eddie's gaze, "is that offer for something stronger still open?" 

Eddie smiles, "I think that can be arranged". 

***

Eddie pulls over beside Tina Cline's house, wincing as the right front tire rolls over the curb and bounces the van as it lands on the street once more, startling a snort out of Steve. 

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Harrington," Eddie huffs as Steve shoots him a grin.

"Didn't say a word," Steve hums, unbuckling himself from the seat. Eddie watches as he opens the door and hops out. For a moment Eddie worries Steve will pull the same disappearing act from last night but he simply stops beside his car door and motions for Eddie to roll down his window. 

Eddie cracks his door open instead, "window's broken, what?" 

Steve rolls his eyes, "whatever Munson, you know the way? It's north on 5th and--"

"Then two more rights, yeah man," Eddie says with a laugh in his voice, "I dropped you off remember?" 

"Fuck off," Steve huffs out, he's grinning though.

Steve swings the Beemer’s door open and slides in. He turns on the ignition and flinches at the loud burst of music from the stereo, the volume obviously set from the mood of the previous night. 

'I want to know what love is, I want you to show me--'

Steve slams his hand against the console, cutting off the song with a harsh crack. 

The van is parked just behind the Beemer so Eddie can't see Steve's face, but his head drops down onto the wheel for just the briefest moment before he slowly lifts it, turns on his signal and pulls away from the curb. 

***

Steve beats him to the house.

He's getting out of the car, which is parked on the long driveway as Eddie pulls up to the street. 

Eddie hops out of the van, hiking his backpack higher up on his shoulders, not bothering to lock it. Who would even want his shitty van among the BMWs and Mercedes parked down this street --hell, Eddie could have sworn he saw a Jag three houses down.

Eddie stops short of the lawn. The Harrington house is so different in the light of day, the strange emptiness that seemed to ooze out of the dark windows the night before has disappeared, leaving an ordinary house in its wake. 

"Well?" Steve calls out as he pulls a pair of keys from his back pocket and spins them once on his finger, "you coming or what Munson?" 

Eddie rolls his eyes and jogs to catch up to Steve who turns on his heel to stride up the walk. He stuffs the key into the deadbolt and swings one of the double doors inwards before shucking off his sneakers.

No shoes? Fucking rich people man.

Steve must notice Eddie's expression because he blushes and shrugs, "I know, I know, but my parents will be home for Thanksgiving this year so…may as well…"

He gestures around the sterile foyer with a tight smile, as though it explains everything. 

If anything, Eddie has more questions. 

Steve cuts off the thought by clearing his throat, "we should smoke outside, last thing I need is for you to burn a hole in the couch or something".

Eddie steps over the threshold and has to stop himself from whistling, were the ceilings always this high in this place?

He lifts his foot to unlace his left chuck, snorting at the strange little table in the middle of the foyer. A giant vase sits atop it filled with a mixture of what have to be silk flowers --no way they were real. He pulls the shoe off and tosses it to the side before lifting his right foot. 

Eddie never had the greatest balance so he hops back and forth with his right foot in the air before hopping as close as he can to the wall of the foyer and leaning back against it.

He finally gets the knot in his laces undone and throws the sneaker to the floor, dropping his right foot to the hardwood.

Eddie looks up to find Steve staring with a bemused expression on his face, he ignores the wide hazel eyes and removes the backpack from his shoulders -which can't have been helping the balance issue. 

Eddie unzips the top and yanks out the trusty metal lunchbox, sliding a wicked grin into place.

"You said something about outside?"

***

By the time they've settled, facing one another on a couple of pool loungers, the sun has begun to dip low, painting the patio and empty pool a warm glowing copper. It catches Steve's hair, which shines like gold in the dying sunlight, like some Autumnal Fae King--

Eddie wants to slap himself, suddenly thankful for the November wind that cuts through the backyard, forcing him to chillout.

He picks up the grinder from his lunchbox, unscrewing the cap to open it.

"You good with a joint this evening my good King?" 

He pours a handful of a new strain Rick let him try the other day into the grinder and starts twisting. It's not something he would typically share with anyone other than Jeff, but Steve seemed like he could use something a little more special tonight.

Eddie looks up after a beat of silence, "yo, Major Tom, you with me?" 

Steve's face is pinched, tilted towards the empty pool, "please don't call me that," he says quietly.

"Major Tom?"

Steve raises his eyes to meet Eddie's gaze, his mouth cuts a hard line across his face, the typical easy grin it usually houses is gone. 

"King-Steve," he runs a hand through his hair, letting the fingers linger to grip and pull, "I just, that's not who I am anymore, I don't--"

Steve swallows harshly, "that's all anyone could talk about this morning".

He drops his voice and octave, "oh, King Steve is so pussy whipped he let his girl fuck Jonathan Byers before she dumped him".

"Is that what Hargrove said?" Eddie asks quietly as he pours out a portion of weed onto a paper.

Steve shakes his head, "that was Tommy, but that wasn't why I hit him". 

Eddie nods, and lifts the joint to his mouth to run his tongue along the edge of the paper. Steve watches him from the lounger, his eyes follow the movement before he blinks and continues.

"Tommy and I had been best friends since we were five, he uh, he knows a lot about me," Steve lifts his hand to his mouth and chews the nail of his thumb briefly before dropping it back into his lap.

"Stuff I don't tell anyone, stuff he knows will hurt". 

Eddie nods, twisting the joint closed, he can kind of understand that, although the only person in his life that knew him like that was Wayne.  

And Wayne would never hurt him. 

Did Steve really not have anyone else like that in his life, someone he could tell anything to that wouldn't look at him weird or judge him. Someone safe.

"Anyway, Hargrove started in on me after that, but he's been fucking with me for awhile so," Steve shrugs again, "he saw his big opportunity here".

"Hargrove's been messing with you?" Eddie asks sharply as he pours more weed onto another paper. He lifts it and runs his tongue along the edge of the paper before twisting it into shape. When he looks up, Steve's ears have gone slightly pink and he's sitting strangely, slightly hunched and twisted.

"Yeah," Steve says after a moment, he clears his throat and straightens his back, "yeah, it's just been at practice so far, and I thought it was just because he wanted to one up me for my spot but," he shakes his head, "it's getting worse". 

"You know, I have a bit of a reputation around school," Eddie says slowly, carefully, watching as Steve freezes and looks at Eddie with wide eyes.

"The Hellfire club is more than just the game we're playing, it's also kind of a sanctuary for kids that don't have anyone to lean on, we look after each other," Eddie continues, ignoring the way Steve relaxes slightly, "you wouldn't need to play or anything but if you need somewhere to sit at lunch now…" 

Steve looks at Eddie for a long time, his expression blank, guarded, "really? Just like that?" 

"Yeah man, besides I get to use my 'Mean and Scary Guy' persona on these fuckers so it's a win-win for me".

Steve grins, raising one skeptical eyebrow, "mean and scary?"

Eddie bristles a little bit at the questioning tone in Steve's voice and can't quite swallow the urge to snarl, "yeah I mean you looked plenty scared of the town freak yesterday". 

Steve winces and immediately starts to shake his head, inching forward in his seat so he's even closer to Eddie, their knees are almost touching.

"That's not, I wasn't," he stops and takes a deep breath, "I was upset about Nancy and it was so dark outside, the trees--"

"You afraid of the dark Harrington?" Eddie cuts him off, the lingering irritation still simmers in his voice as he coos. 

Steve just looks at him, there's something strange about the haunted expression on his face that makes the hair on the back of Eddie's arms stand on end. 

"Things happen in the dark, in the woods," Steve says softly, his eyes drift to the empty pool again. 

Eddie opens his mouth to ask Steve what the hell he means by that, when a voice shouts across the yard.

"Steve? STEVE?!" 

The sound of someone running through the grass has them both of their feet, the joints forgotten on the pool loungers. 

"Dustin?" 

A kid, he can't be more than twelve or thirteen, skids into the porchlight that has replaced the last copper rays of evening light, the sun fully set by now. The kid's blue eyes are wide underneath a mop of curly hair and hat, he's breathing hard.

"I need your help".

Tag List: @eriquin @luvinthefreaks @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @goodolefashionedloverboi @ellietheasexylibrarian @bambibiest @sadboislovebeans @howincrediblysapphicofyou @coleys-a-nerd @whycantiuseunderscore @airconditioning123 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @corrodedbisexual @starman-jpg @ilovecupcakesandtea @yoriposts @clumsiluni @pelinelin @phantomcat94 @lololol-1234 @anaibis @airconditioning123 @steveshairspray @hellfireone @sunswathe @eddielives1986 @tentativeghost @robin-not-batman @estrellami-1 @manda-panda-monium @tinyplanet95 @perseus-notjackson

Part Five

and for some peeps that I think may be interested! @steddierthings @steddie-there @steves-strapcollection @outpastthebrakers @henderdads @stevesbipanic

[moralcandy]

fifteen things that don't come back, by charlie slimecicle:

number one. the paper airplane you and your daughter throw at your husband while his back is turned in the kitchen, the two of you hiding behind the counter as you snicker quietly when he stops humming and yelps a curse as he turns around with a faux angry expression and a poorly-hidden smile.

number two. the glass your daughter broke trying to grab it from the cabinet on her tippy-toes. you didn't look over until you heard the glass shatter against the kitchen floor, too preoccupied with grabbing the jug of cold orange juice from the fridge to notice until it was too late. golden, afternoon sunlight shone warmly on the both of you from the open window as you swept it up while she stood to the side with a sheepish expression.

number three. your husband's soft shirt he let you borrow when you said you couldn't find your own but really you just quickly shoved yours under the bed when he wasn't looking. you absently noted that it smelled like him. your lips curved into a slight smile without input. your foot shoved your shirt under the bed a little bit farther.

number four. the pictures you took of your daughter and niece, hugging eachother as they posed for the camera, the photo incinerated into ash when you blew up your house. you frantically dug through your daughter's chest afterwards, soot covering your hands as you searched for the photograph. you did not find it.

number five. your niece.

number six. the feeling of a cold glass of wine held tipsily in your hand, the waterdrop of condensation slipping down the glass at the same pace your tears did down your cheeks. you downed the alcohol until there was nothing left except a burning feeling and a lump in your throat. the bartender did not give you another drink.

number seven. your friend, the one who used to laugh hysterically with you as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders before he began to scream at you while he wrapped his hands around your neck. he pushed you into the dirt, the metallic taste of blood in your mouth and the feeling of wet dirt on your skin as you absently question whether the water dripping on your face was the rain or the tears slipping down your friend's face. you know that was the funeral of your children, but you think both of the real 'you's died that day, too.

number eight. the warm, rumbling feeling of laughter in your chest as a smile hurts your cheeks, the sensation long gone. your mouth, for a moment, twitches into a small smile at the memory of the feeling.

number nine. the feeling of hands on your own, your husband's warm hands intertwined with yours as your cold, golden rings clink against eachother. your daughter's tiny hand clasped around yours as she leads you to a butterfly she found, grass brushing your ankles as you walk.

ten. the sound of your daughter's amused laughter, snorts interrupting occasionally. her head leans back as she giggles, her eyes scrunched up in happiness.

eleven. the sound of your husband's soothing voice, lilting with fondness as he looks at you. a smile absently crosses his face as he speaks, audible in his voice. you always remember smiling back.

twelve. your golden wedding band your husband lovingly slipped onto your ring finger so long ago, the one you furiously tossed into a dusty corner with particularily bad aim. you blame the poor aim on the tears blurring your vision, but it could've been the alcohol, really.

thirteen. your husband. you try to go to sleep in the center of your bed now, knowing that he won't be there. when you wake up, you always find yourself on the left side of the bed, as if you've moved in your sleep to accommodate someone. you scowl and think that your asleep self should stop being so stupid. ..you make the bed just in case he really does decide to come back.

fourteen. your daughter. whenever you make yourself breakfast now, you keep accidentally making two bowls, the muscle memory automatic, familiar, and no longer needed. you sit down at the table and set the bowls and begin to eat, but you always end up just stirring the cereal with your spoon as you stare at the untouched bowl across from you. you always end up throwing them both away. without your input, a frown tugs slightly at your lips as your pour out the second bowl but you know that nobody else was even here to eat it anyway. your eyes burn.

fifteen. your daughter, the one you know isn't the real one. sometimes you walk down those train tracks where you found her, hoping she'll be here this time. she never is. ..you still keep checking, just in case.

[lexosaurus]

I think, genuinely, the coolest part about being in this phandom for so long and semi-consistently putting creative projects out there is that I can look back over the years and see how much growth I've made in all areas of my creativity.

Like, I'm writing things now I wouldn't have even dreamed of years ago, and I'm composing music that past me would have been shell-shocked to hear. And I can see with each new fic I put out, each new song I make, how much better I'm getting. And it's not to say that I've mastered the art of writing and composition, but I've certainly improved a fuckton since like 2017 or whenever the hell I made this account.

Damn, y'all. It turns out that all the experts were right and skill is just a LOT of practice over a long period of time.

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

finally watched Wish and had a major brain blast

They’re besties now because I said so 💫

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

four walls playlist

[excelsior9173]

soooonnnngggg oooofffff thhheeee daaaayyyy!!

are you fuckin kidding me?! bro just whips out his massive fuckin range in the first verse of the song and i cannot. josh ramsay is not real (i have seen him live twice but he’s not real. can’t be)

i have never heard a musician with genius like this man and band. no one themes albums like they do, no one writes orchestral arrangements like they do, josh was born to write a broadway musical and it kills me that it hasn’t happened yet