#I love the funny men and I’m glad you like my art of them

[tobisaw]

IM BACK HERE AGAIN. YOUR HLVRAI DESIGNS GIVE ME LIFE<3.... (I also love the colors you use, excuse me I'm autistic about designs)

AGHHHH THIS IS SO SWEET THANK YOU… I’m happy so many people like my designs. It seriously means a lot this made my day

[arcadia345]

Astro observations🌺

FYI I’m not a real astrologer, just my observations :) TW🔞

The cancer moon men I know are pretty chill and laid back + funny, but the women are so bitchy and moody😭 with a big sweet tooth

Every twin I know either has Gemini or Pisces placements

You ever meet someone and their neck just stands out for some reason added points if they smell good, most likely they’re a Taurus rising/ mars. Good example is Megan thee stallion her neck is so cute to me hehe

Aries in the chart can show you the things you were introduced to at a very young age, the early memories that you think of and say ‘That was wild lol’

3rd: could’ve started learning way before you started school(like flash cards and things) siblings and cousins, music, having access to electronics early

4th: erratic home life, the woman around you could be go getters

6th: could’ve got a lot of injuries when younger, probably couldn’t have a peaceful day even if you tried, bad experiences with animals

7th: domestic abuse, might have seen people having affairs, lots of disagreements between couples

12th:paranormal events, you could’ve had a lot of deja vu moments without even knowing, tend to have strong spiritual gifts,people having ill intentions towards you

Aquarius moon or degree/ moon in the 11th tend to have a “second mom” a person that treats them like their one of their own children, sometimes even better than their own mother does. 🌚

The people with mars in the first house I know have so many battle scars on their body

Moon/cancer in 3rd love changing their voices, and they have a bad habit of not telling the whole truth / white lies

Water sign on the descendent- people are always wondering what you’re up to, no matter how much you show them they’ll still wanna know what you’re hiding

Your first house correlates to how you came into this world, I have Chiron (ruled by Virgo) in my 12 conjunct my ascendant, uhm she said she almost d*ed having me😀 and I was a C-section baby. And the hospital did her so dirty(you know much they hate black women) they didn’t even stitch her back up correctly or drain her fluids and to this day she still has problems. The also gave her extra dosages of drugs just cause she’s a plus size woman- honestly I could go on and on but it really correlates with my cap rising and Neptune/Uranus in 1st

Mercury ☌ Sun, these people voices are just💋💋 they sound so sensual and unique ugh hard to explain it but 🥴 ex. Jungkook , Tupac

Gemini/ Libra in 2nd love collecting things like figurines makeup clothes candles plushies, could easily be a borderline hoarder tho

Ives noticed that sun in 10th have a strained relationship with their father, but their later years in life their relationship gets better, or not could really go either way, also could have money issues in their early years but ends up climbing the corporate ladder. It may take you a while to tho but just know it’ll be worth it in the end :) also they always stand out at their work place in some way, the coworker that you’re glad to see clock in at rush hour cause you know they gonna handle shit

Venus- mercury positive aspects love giving out nicknames to their favorite people 🥺if they’re always calling you cute names just know they really care about you lol

Sag moons and degrees have no chill😀 like calm down bae sag anything tbh🚬

9th house ruler in the 11th could go to the same college with their old friends or could become very popular in the area they’re in, I think they’d make good bloggers

Air signs or degrees in 5th are trend setters.

Aquarius you inspire people, they could take things and make it into their own like art

With gemini here people will “copy & paste” ur looks. But no matter what it just looks like a knockoff version of what you did lmao it just never look as good as yours

Libra here people are very opinionated on how you express yourself either in a good way or bad, neither less you guys get a lot of compliments on your style

Every time I see a Capricorn rising with Neptune in the 1st it’s like their skin is see through and fragile😯makes sense tho since caps rule the skin and Neptune fogs things up. A good example is Ariana Grande her skin looks so delicate

Pluto/Scorpio in the 11th/11th house ruler in 8th, your friends could hate each other🤺 also they could have a rough life/childhood, trauma bonding or just experiencing traumatic events together is common here

Chiron in Aries (honestly any Aries placements it just depends on where it is), most people didn’t pay attention to them in their childhood in some way so they learned to be independent because of their lack of support cardinal things fr

That’s all for today! Give me a follow if you enjoyed💕

[girliism]

in which you and tashi go through the trials of ivf.

you and tashi were both career driven women adding a baby in the mix wasn’t something the two of you wanted to do right away, but being married for three years now every time you watched her interact with kids something in you yearned to have one of your own.

pregnancy consumes your mind. it seems like everyone you meet is pregnant or trying and you’re weirdly jealous. “tashi?” she hums at you. “what do think about having a baby?” tashi freezes in the middle of the aisle. now probably wasn’t the best time for this conversation, in the grocery store shopping to restock for the week. “um, i think having a baby would be a lot of work.” tashi stands up straighter and begins pushing the cart again. “yes, but i basically work from home already and we’d have our mothers to help us.” you could see in tashi’s face how hard she was thinking about this. “ok, and how would we get this baby?” you guys were stopped in the pasta aisle. “so glad you asked.” tashi liked when you got excited about things. “there’s of course always adoption but while reading i found this thing called reciprocal ivf. we’d take your egg and put it in my womb so the baby has a biological connection to both of us. tashi i’d be carrying your baby.” you grabbed her hands to hold them in yours getting a little emotional. the look you gave tashi made it easy for her to decide. “ok.” your eyebrows shot up. “ok? ok as in ok we’re going have a baby?” tashi’s nod was all you needed to start bouncing up and down squealing before tashi started to shush you.

you and tashi were at the clinic the following week, having done both your individual check ups it was time to meet with the doctor together. it felt like you had been sitting in that office waiting for the doctor for an eternity. tashi feeling you fidgeting next to her grabs your hand placing a kiss on the back of it then kissing the side of mouth. “i’m nervous.” you mumbled. the doctor walked in causing the two of you to sit up. “good morning ladies how are we today?” good mornings were echoed back to her. “so i’ve taken a look at both of you labs and you’re both very healthy women we should have no problem extracting eggs.” sighs of relief fall from you and tashi as you give each other happy smiles. “you’ve already decided to take the eggs from tashi all you need to do is find a donor our website has a list of all of the registered donor here at the clinic just browse through a give us a call.

later that night you sat on your side of the bed computer in lap as you scrolled through the different men. “oh tash, look what about him?” tashi crawled next to you looking over your shoulder at the computer. “no.” she was quick to deny slipping under the covers next to you. you sigh closing the laptop. “you’ve said that to all the guys i’ve shown.” you turned to face her. “we have to pick someone you know.” tashi just shrugged “i know that but it’s not like we’re ordering a pizza love the man we pick will be fertilizing the egg that will make our baby. it’s already scary enough that he’ll be a complete stranger.” you understood where tashi’s pickiness was coming from you too wanted the best of the best. you ran your fingers through tashi’s hair while she placed kisses on neck inching lower and lower when you gasps sitting upright. “what if we used your friend the cute blonde one.” tashi stopped her kisses. “art? you wanna use my ex boyfriend’s now boyfriend as our sperm donor?” the look tashi gave you was comical. you pushed her onto her back moving your body to straddle hers. “don’t look at me like that i’m serious.” you pouted. “we know art he’s funny, he’s tall, he’s athletic and even if he tries to deny it he’s a great singer come on tashi it never hurts to ask.” you whispered the last part against the skin of her neck sliding your hand up her shirt ghosting over her nipple. “fine i’ll call patrick tomorrow have them over for dinner.” tashi sighs out your mouth meeting hers.

at breakfast you could hear her on the phone with patrick before she hung up. “they’ll be over tonight, don’t forget to ice the good red.” she kissed your forehead then was off to tennis practice. you loved hanging out with art and patrick they were a fun couple despite the weird history between the two of them and your wife you all got along great. “did you guys get a new jacuzzi?” art questioned looking over your backyard that you had recently paid a lot of money to have renovated. you stood next to him “yes! i can’t believe you noticed that.” you and art talked more about the renovation while tashi and patrick fought at the grill over how long the meat should be cooked. “i’m the man here tashi i think know how to cook meat.” tashi gave him the look specially reserved for when men annoyed her. “why is it burning then?” she walked off after that leaving patrick to try and save his burning steak.

the four of you ate outside on the backyard patio. laughter filled the air and it got a little chilly as the sky got darker. patrick refilled his third glass of wine when he realized you hadn’t even had your first. “what’s up with you why aren’t you drinking?” you got quite and tashi cleared her throat. the two of you looked at each other silently asking each other who was gonna address it first. “thats has to do with the reason we asked you guys here on such short notice.” tashi said setting her wine glass down. “we’re trying for a baby and would like to know if art would wanna be our donor.” you blurted out not being able to take the suspension. art let out a sound of surprise before looking over at patrick the two of them now having their own silent conversation. it’s time like these where you wish you could read minds. “you can of course say no.” you added softly playing with the ends of the blanket hanging over your shoulders while tashi’s own hand squeezes your thigh. art downed the rest of his wine signaling for patrick to refill it. “first off congratulations you guys will be great mothers.” you and tashi give him small smiles. “i’m surprised you would even consider me for something thing like this but i’d be honored to be your donor.” you don’t know when tear stated forming in your eyes but they finally fall and tashi is pulling you into her arms pressing kisses on the side of your face. “we’re gonna be uncles!” patrick beats his hands rhythmically one the table and you can’t contain the happy sobs that break through.

after art was cleared with your doctor his sperm count being high and health all he had to do was jizz in a cup, a process patrick was more than happy to help with. you had to wait for yours and tashi’s cycles to sync before the transfer could happen and when it did the days after that felt like everything was moving in slow motion. “we’ll take the test tonight, i’ll bring home two.” tashi said standing next to her car. she was on her way to practice. “ok” you whispered. tashi kissed you wanting to take all your worry away. “everything’s gonna be ok.” she rested her forehead against yours. you nodded giving her one last kiss before letting her drive away.

getting work done that day was nearly impossible all day long you constantly watch the clock waiting till tashi gets back with the pregnancy test. you were standing in front of the mirror hands moving over your flat stomach when you heard the front door open. tashi appeared in the bathroom door way a plastic bag in hand drink in the other. “ready to drink your weight in sunny d?” you couldn’t help but giggle at the reference. you and tashi sat with your backs against the tub staring at the two test on the counter. the loud ringing from your phones timer rips through the room. two minutes was up. “do you wanna flip it or should i?” and for the first time since starting this process you heard the nervousness laced in tashi’s voice. “you can.” you whispered back. tashi took a deep breath before turning over the test. you couldn’t see anything so the gasp tashi let out could be either good or bad. “oh my god.” her voice was breathy. “what tashi? what is it, what does say.” your heartbeat picking up. then tashi turned around showing you the test and right there big and bold was the word PREGNANT. “we’re gonna be mommies!” tashi grabbed your face kissing you but you were still in a daze not believing you were actually pregnant like a baby was growing inside you at that very moment. “we’re gonna be mommies.” you whispered eyes welling up. “we’re having a baby and we’re gonna be mommies.” you said louder jumping up and down smiling as happy tears slipped down yours and tashi’s face. tashi’s laughs mix perfectly with yours as you guys dance around in the bathroom. “you know i love you so much.” you threw your arms around tashi. “i think i already beat you too that.” she kisses your nose.

the two of you decided to wait till you were out of the first trimester to tell people. you told both your parents first then art and patrick. you were mentally prepared for the morning sickness and sore boobs that came with pregnancy but what caught you off guard was how horny you got. “come on tashi please we can be quick.” kissing under her jaw. “we have an appointment love. can’t you wait til after.” you really really couldn’t. “need you now.” your pout and puppy eyes and the whiney please you gave tashi had her on her knees face in between your legs.

“ready to find out the sex?” the doctor looks over to you and tashi. there was an on going bet about wether it was gonna be a boy or girl everyone was convinced it’d be a boy. “it’s a girl.” the doctor announced. you laugh “i knew it.” you stare at the screen the showed the baby inside you moving around.

the rest of your pregnancy was smooth, tashi absolutely doted on you, messaging your feet, bringing you whatever late night craving you got but the closer you got to your due the more she stuck to your side. “i just wanna be there when your water breaks.” but she wasn’t there. she had left you at your parents house to go on a grocery store run when it broke. “uh, mom i think my water just broke.” the look on your mothers face would have made you laugh but the contractions were causing you to wince in pain. the whole ride to the hospital was filled with your mom yelling at your dad to drive faster.

it felt like you were in the hospital room for hours. your voice turning raw from screaming, tashi’s hand slowly losing feeling from how hard you were squeezing it but still she made sure to tell you how good you were doing. after a few really good pushed a loud high pitched cry could be heard throughout the room. you daughter was finally born. you strained your neck trying get a look at her while the nurses cleaned her up. “congratulations she’s beautiful.” a tiny baby girl was placed in your arms. happy tears fell from yours and tashi’s eyes. “she’s so small.” tashi whispered her finger lightly stroking your daughters red cheek. “hi lily.” you greeted her when she opened her eyes for the first time, her big brown eyes catching yours.

(cheesed so much while writing this.)

[hecateisalesbian]

The Pride of- July?: A Final Thank You

WOW! I believe we did it! 30 Whole Days, an entire month, full of Pride! I’m honestly astounded that we were able to complete this! And I’m even more flabbergasted with how many people liked it! When i started this i thought only my mutuals and maybe one other would see this but no! This gained almost 200 notes and so many people participated in this! And I’d like to thank them all! And some even gave a few final words and talks. About Pride and Disability!

@outmaww

Thank you to Outmaww for being part of this and participating for the Lesbian Flag Day! You kicked off this project by being our first representative and I just wanna say thank you so much! 🩷

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@theosb0rnway

Thanks Oz for being there last minute when I was trying to find a representative for the Gay Flag! You pulled through and I’m very grateful for that! And for representing the Agender Flag too! Keep being awesome 🩵 💚

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@haystarlight

Thanks Sofi, I couldn’t have done this without you being an amazing bisexual disaster! And also being able to keep me in contact with Human! You are an amazing person and I hope you continue to be amazing 💜

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@solstakao

Let me start by saying that you are the best trans girl ever! 🏳️‍⚧️ I hope you get the boobs you desire lol. Thank you for representing the trans flag and being so funny! Thank you Jasmine ❤️

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@winter-socks

Not only did you represent the Trans flag, you also represented the Androsexual AND the Grayace flag! Thank you for that! And Puff even had a final closing statement about him and his disability!

“Being androsexual is a big part of my identity and what I find attractive. Androsexual means to be attracted to masculinity or just men in general, my LGBTQ+ identity has been all over the place, past few years. But I’ve found myself, I remember looking at pictures on Google that showed masculine people and I feel very attracted to them. Just something about masculine people makes me swoon over them !

I also have autism, self diagnosed. I’ve recently figured this out and have made connections between my experiences and autism through research. I have always been depressed, it seems from what my mom has told me, my family has a history of anxiety. I stim in different ways, experience noise sensitivity, have a hard time with boundaries, and more things that contribute to my autism. I hyperfixate on things for months to years, these things make me happy and people have said I’m obsessed. Which I am lol !! But it’s just how my brain works and I’m happy to have figured myself out, it all makes sense now. :)

Having autism is hard though, I can take stuff the wrong way, especially in real life where I have a hard time finding tone in people’s voices. So I end up taking them seriously. This is why tone indicators are a big thing for me and many others, we need people to use these so we don’t take them the wrong way. And I can get upset over the smallest things such as a noise I don’t like, it’s really hard. I always bring my headphones with me just in case it gets too loud. :)”

So thank you to Puff! You are a gem :) 🩵 💜 🤎

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@iridescentdiscord

Omnisexual AND DemiKING! You are amazing and supported me from the beginning! I’m very grateful you did this and for your kindness! Thank you 💙 🩵

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@mouse-in-a-piping-bag

Kat, my fellow Genderfluid, I am very glad you participated! You represented Omnisexual, Demisexual, and Genderfluid, and even created this amazing art!

Thank you Kat :} 💙 💜 🩶

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@rainbowangel110

What words can describe how amazing you are? You are one of my best and favorite mutuals and you are incredibly talented! I mean, just look at this lovely asexual art you made!

Thank you Rainbow 🌈 🩶

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@imhumanguysiswear

My first Mutual and an asexual king! I hope you can return soon to Tumblr! We all miss you! Thank you for doing this :) 🩶

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@dreamondelphinus

I Hope that you and your friend Bella have a wonderful life. Asexuals and Aromantics don’t deserve hate and definitely don’t need to be ‘fixed’. Keep being you :) 🩶

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@boilinghotsoupandcrackers

Your blog is super funny and I love seeing your posts on my dash! Thank you for representing Aroace and genderqueer! You are so cool! Thank you :) 🩶 💚 💜

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@zedleaked

You went very above and beyond with art and talking about your experience with being Aromantic! Your art looked beautiful

“To break the professional language for a sec, figuring out whether you are aromantic or not is hard, especially if you are not asexual as well. When I was figuring myself out I often found that I never really developed crushes on others and that made me feel weird since romance is so mainstream and talked about and for some reason I don’t feel these weird butterflies in my stomach or something? I guess I’m just weirdo! Sure, I can find people attractive and cute but I didn’t feel that romantic feeling. As a kid I would try and just scan other kids in my class to try and figure out if they’d be a good partner. I didn’t know that there had to be some kind of feeling to get in a relationship with someone. I just thought people would go ‘hey this person is nice and cute, I will be their partner!’ but that’s definitely not how it works. I would find it hard to differentiate romantic and platonic love because I mean… love is love…? I mean some would say romantic love is doing stuff like cuddling, holding hands, kissing, hugging… but you can also do that platonically, right? There’s just that extra step in romantic love that I just can’t see because I can’t experience that extra step. There are moments where I think I feel love but I realise that at the time I was just really eager to be their friend as I get very excited when meeting someone like me but if I really thought about if I would be in a romantic relationship with that person… the answer would probably be no. Some aromantics can feel lonely as they can’t feel romantic love and they don’t have the desire to devote their life to a person, but remember that you still have those platonic relationships and they can be just as strong if not stronger than romantic ones, nothing is better than hanging out with a really awesome friend. If you believe you’re on the aromantic spectrum but are unsure, try doing some research for yourself as there are many terms under the umbrella that may fit you! Demiromantic for example is when you only feel romantic love when close to someone or grey-romantic is when you feel fluctuating levels of romantic love but as a whole barely experience it”

Thank you Zed :) 💚

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@artkittycatty

Genderfluid Partner in Crime and Pansexual! I adore your art and your chaotic and optimistic energy! You truly brighten my blog and im very thankful for your contribution to this project! I mean, just look at how cute this art is!

Thank you 💜 💛

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@your-bigender-big-brother

Thank you for being apart of this and being educational to everyone! You even made my post even better by explaining even more about being bi-gender!

“If you'd like some further information on the bigender identity, I have a Gender of the Day post here! I also have a bigender masterpost here on my main blog.

Additionally, here are some other bigender flags! One of the most common ones currently being used by the community is the upper left one!

Want some bigender blogs to follow?

@talking-bigender @bigendering @bigender-culture-is

And as a little bonus, I have my own bigender flag down below, called the sunrise/sunset bigender flag.

- Your Bigender Big Brother 💙💚”

Thank You 🙏 💚

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@msmoon-and-the-cyberdemon

Thank you for being so enthusiastic about this and being wonderful! I hope your future is bright aswell 💚

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@loud-whistling-yes

Thank you for representing Demigirl and for just being proud!

“Hey guys! 👋 I'm the guest for today's pride of june! If you guys have any questions about demigirl as a gender identity, or any questions about it in general, I'm more than happy to give you my part of the answer! Do remember that everyone sees gender differently, and while there's no "right" or "wrong" answer to gender, I hope my answers might help anyone with whatever they're looking for. Happy pride everyone!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜”

Thank you Ah Wei 🩷

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@demigender-culture-is

Demigender Culture is YOU! Thank you for being in this and representing the demigender flag :) And you even made this!

Thank you! 💛

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@honeymilkhijinks

A polyamorous pansexual! And a non-binary! Thank you for participating in this and being you! 💜 💛 ❤️

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@jd-leifdeloos

thank you for being part of the Polyamorous flag day. It’s hard being accepted but you being there was very cool! Thank you so much ❤️

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@just-one-more-utmv-fan

Thank you for sharing light to the very unknown sexuality Gynesexual. You even made this!

You are helping more people learn about it just by reblogging all of this project :) 🤎

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@that-one-enby-ranger

Thank you for representing Abrosexual, a sexuality that I feel a lot of people forget about! You are amazing 💚

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@dejimonkaizaa

You were amazing for this project and you even decided to talk about your life as an intersex person!

“I have a condition called simple-virilizing congenital adrenal hyperplasia, or what’s usually called “classic CAH.” I was born with XX chromosomes and assigned female at birth, and I also have ambiguous genitalia and a hormone profile of typical estrogen and atypical testosterone called hyperandrogenism. This means I have one of the dozens of variations that can make a person what we call intersex. In many ways, I love my intersex body and identity, but much like any other person could, I do not feel my assigned sex is my gender. Being intersex is part of me, but I am also an intersex man. I am a transgender man, but I might fall better into a category called utltergender—while I will transition to be more masculine, I was already born with many of these features. What I would like for perisex (not-intersex) people to understand about being intersex is that you won’t always understand, and that’s okay. We will have bodies you don’t understand. We will have transition patterns you don’t understand. We will have identities you don’t understand. We are not born male or female in a world where everyone must be, and even when we identify ourselves within the binary, we are never truly accepted into it. Yet, to this end, you must advocate for us, because we are not enough to win fights on our own. We do not have communities like every other queer identity—most intersex people don’t know any other intersex people in real life. We don’t have clubs, we don’t have bars, we don’t even have representation at pride events much of the time—we are invisible. Make space for us. If you want to put I in the acronym, know why you do. Know who and what we are and why we are important beyond a quick gotcha against the binary.”

Thank you for being so open! 💜

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@askatrigenderlgbt

“Hey everyone, this post is going to be a bit different. Pride month is nearing an end and I was ask to make a special something for this project I'm in.

I want to talk about my journey with discovering my sexuality and gender identity, along with my battle with my disability battle with ADHD.

I was around 15 or 16 when I started to question my identity. I didn't understand what or why I was different from everyone else around me. I didn't understand why I faked being in love with boys or found myself only falling in love with fictional boys but not real guys. Then I began to think harder. I realized that maybe I wasn't so straight.

As I was finding my way I explored different labels, explored my gender, and eventually finally admitted that I needed therapy for my health.

At first I thought I was bisexual and nonbinary. At the time it felt correct, but time past and I realized it didn't make sense or feel right. I needed to keep looking. Then I identified as lesbian and demigirl, but once again later down the line they didn't feel like me.

Finding your identity takes time, trying things out for a time and seeing what makes you feel you. There is no rush, no impending doom waiting around the next second.

I finally found my gender when I was looking online about different genders in the trans and nonbinary umbrella: trigender.

Trigender is a gender similar to gender fluid. One identifies as three genders, whether all at once- like a mix of colors- or flux between the three- like colors melting into another.

Trigender was the labe that felt right, where I felt myself click into place. I felt like a woman, a man, but in between- nonbinary. It made sense and felt just right for me.

As for my sexuality? I am still into women, but I now use Gynosexual as my label. It is a gender neutral way to say that a person is attracted to women identifying genders or feminine traits. Which I am.

I also figured out I am ageosexual. Ageosexual is a sexuality on the asexual spectrum. Ageosexual is a sexuality where one isn't disgusted seeing anything sexual in nature, able to watch 'adult fun' without being uncomfortable, but still having no desire for sexual intercourse of any kind.

I can handle a sex scene or joke in media, but even the thought of actually having sex makes me uncomfortable and nauseous. I don't like even the thought of anyone I may date in the future see me naked, god forbid touch me. I will hold hands, kiss on the cheek, peck on the mouth, cuddle, hug, but anything else is a no. Just no.

So after finding the labels that fit me and have found myself comfortable with them, I settled on my pronouns next: they/them. I didn't like being referred to as just she/her, just female. I liked the more neutral they/them as it feels better and more like me. It felt right. But everyone around is still having to get used to my pronouns and using them. Learning is still going on, my family no used to my pronouns as they spent years with my old ones.

But my mental health during this? I went to see a therapist at 16, working on my depression and anxiety first. I was prescribed medication to help deal with my issues and given tools to help manage what the medication can't. Medicine isn't a cure for mental health, it just helps manage the issues one has.

After I was given the starting tools I worked on myself and tried hard in high school. I was more energetic, I felt less tired, and I had more motivation. It didn't last however. I began to have issues with attention, I kept getting distracted easily, forgot things constantly, was restless, overall a mess without knowing why.

Then my doctor prescribed me with a medication I recognized my mother taking. It was one she took for her bipolar. So I thought for a while I had bipolar, stupid I know but hey I wasn't thinking clearly. But soon I was diagnosed with ADHD, given medication and tools I needed to manage things, and found myself more relaxed- and given confirmation that I do not have bipolar. I could sleep longer than four hours. I could finally have my thoughts slow down. I even could focus better.

But the struggle wasn't done. You see, during one summer on a boiling hot day, I tried to end my life by heat stroke. I had turned my heater on full blare on the hotest day that week. Then I took a nap, hoping to anyone listening that I wouldn't wake up. I woke up, drenched in sweat, realizing what I nearly done. I turned off the heater and quickly tried to cool myself down. I only confessed about till six to seven months after that happened. This was when I was around 19, probably 20. I had dropped high school before this, the stress of dealing with family problems, moving, and the pandemic just beginning. I wasn't great mentally.

I have also experienced cutting before, something common sadly with people dealing with depression and constant stress. It wasn't a good feeling. The pain of cutting was not what I enjoyed ever, but I am ashamed to say this, but I did like how it made me numb to everything.

In the present day I am much better, not perfect but not a mess, I'm simply okay. I've been through so much and have many years to go hopefully. To end this post as it is long enough as it is I will say this:

Your journey will not be like anyone else's, it's your life and you will find the pieces of yourself in time. You just have to find what feels right and what is comfortable. You may have a hard time with your disabilities, mental or physical, but you have support around you ready to help. There are people who want to help you get better, you'll find them. I know it. Just be kind to yourself, allow time to feel out what it is you need. And allow yourself to make mistakes.

The worst thing I ever did was try to be perfect, to be strong. In actually, it's okay to be weak and to be imperfect. We all need to learn by making mistakes, grow from them. And sometimes we need to let out emotions, to stop trying to hold everything inside.

It's okay to be yourself.”

Thank you :) 🩷

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@notsofunsenpai

Thank you for participating and being a representative of the Pansexual Flag! You are wonderful 💛

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@bloggingboutburgers and their partner @civiart

You guys did so much! Not a lot of people know about QPRs and you did not shy away from the task of educating! You made this amazing art

And this amazing explanation

“What it's like to be in a QPR? Well, at the very least the QPR I'm in is very comfortable I'll say far most! It's hard to define in exact words to describe the relationship. It's the closeness and comfortable vulnerability of being with someone that you see as your life partner. The more meme-esque way I like describing it is Akhts is my ride or die!! Life is crazy and so unpredictable! It throws hands at ya in anyway it wants to and you just have to figure out how to roll with the punches and face it! It gets hard to face it on your own, so it's nice to build a dynamic with someone where you can share the messiness of life. There's that element of closeness you have with them that's just really comforting and fills your heart in a special way. It's always an honor being able to spend time together with a beloved and feel that solidarity confidence in one another. It's like the dynamic and development for this relationship just lead up to it naturally without the mix of romance and sexual attraction. It's definitely a relationship of what feels right to each individual. At least for mine, I'm really happy being in a QPR with Akhts! The dear really gives me a lot of comfort, company, and honestly sharing the braincell too. I'm honored to have her company and will absolutely prance my adoration for her! Life feels so much more fuller with her!"

Thank you both! I wish you the best of lives! 🩷

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And finally, I’d like to thank my mutual and friend @bloodied-dagger, who made this wonderful musical piece to end off pride month

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow! This got long haha! In all seriousness though, thank you all! You all did such a wonderful job and really helped me on this project. But now Pride Month is Over. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be prideful though. The US Supreme Court made a ruling on June 30th saying businesses had the right to deny service to queer people. This is devastating to the queer community and is ranking us equivalent to a second class. We should be recognized as human beings and shouldn’t be made to feel guilty, dirty, or sinful for being who we are.

Now that July is here lots of queers are joking about Gay Wrath Month, but July already has its pride. July is about Disability. Disability is still rarely accommodated even in 2023 and we need to draw attention to that. People with disabilities shouldn’t be looked upon as if they were lower than those without. So this month mine and your challenge is to help those with disabilities. Donate to funds or just simply don’t be a jerk or make ableist jokes. Be kind this month.

All of my Art will be posted in a big post on my art blog @accidentally-drank-paintwater if anyone wishes to see all of them together. Happy Pride!

[violivs]

NMTDaily: And So It Begins

- Beatrice’s first vlog! What an opening line, I love it lol. I remembered the hand wave on “hello, people of the Internet” having a wider arc across the screen than it actually does, funny enough! Glad I didn’t specify the wide wave when I referenced this line in MARRIED, the fic I posted on the 25th.

- “I’m not too old for Halloween”, girl after my own heart!

- Always thought it was interesting that Bea’s mother is American. I wonder how/why they decided that. It’s the kind of super specific detail that makes Bea feel so real, because who would make that up? It’s also interesting that it means Bea and Ben’s families are both somewhat international. Another parallel for them, another thing they have in common.

- I bet the Aunties’ wedding was the cutest thing ever, imagine Hero and Leo standing up with them! That’s probably the last time all of the Dukes were together before the story starts.

- I’m surprised Bea’s parents moved because her dad got a promotion. I would have assumed her mom did, because we get the impression of her as the high-powered businesswoman. But good for Bea’s dad. Is it canon that he’s a university professor? (Promotion = tenure?) Or did I make that up for fanfic and/or confuse him with Ben’s parents being professors in canon? Listening for that. Maybe Bea’s dad was actually also a business person all along and that’s how her parents met. Who knows.

- Bea says Australia like I say Indiana, lol (no hate to anyone from Indiana though! Just another of those inborn rivalries with the neighbor, like the Oz/NZ one.)

- “A great science program” I forgot Bea was a science person!

- I always loved the set decoration in this room, I remember it’s Hero’s room, and it’s so artsy and cozy and pretty. Love the wall art.

- “Leo and I are in charge of the house for the next six months” Excuse me, does this series really only take place over six months? Well, it ends in the first week of November, so that’s seven full months. I think it felt like it lasted a whole year when it was airing though. Time slowed down during a certain arc for sure.

- “in-joke with myself!” Classic. I kind of love that the text on screen saying “good one Beatrice” is Bea talking to herself again in-world, but out-of-world it’s kind of the Candle Wasters talking, interacting both with their own main character and with the audience. Meta.

- “Sorry my life is so boring” are like, THE famous last words for an LIW protagonist. Honey, you got a big storm coming!

- I was always so incredibly impressed with Beatrice’s independence, her comfort with leaving her parents and essentially being on her own before she even finished high school. I was alone in a college dorm hours away from home when I first watched this, second semester of freshman year if I’m not mistaken, and I could barely believe I’d managed it. I couldn’t imagine doing that any earlier than I had. I thought she was so brave and cool. I think Bea actually shows more hesitation and nervousness than I realized she did in this episode, both because she’s not used to vlogging yet and because being in a new place is nerve-wracking, but I still think she’s so brave.

- It’s so interesting that in a reversal of the play, it’s our Beatrice who comes from away to Messina to start the story, instead of Benedick and the other men returning from war. Of course, we’ll see how the boys’ arrival on the scene is modernized soon enough!

- Harriett does such a great job making you care about Bea and like her right from the start. You just want to keep listening to her talk. I can’t wait to do just that over the next seven months.

- The Benedict Cumberbatch crush is a stroke of genius, but what are the odds that there happens to be a super famous guy named Benedict that you can reference who is at peak relevance in the exact year your MAAN modernization premieres? Truly, this series as it exists could only have happened in 2014. It was the perfect time and the perfect people. What luck.

- Oh, this is the wider arc hand wave I was remembering! It’s just at the end of the video and not the beginning. Funny!

- Covering the camera with her hand and ducking out of frame at the end of her first video is a direct parallel to what Bea and Hero do in their final NMTD video, sliding out of frame and all. Love that.

- I can’t believe how much there is to talk about even with these early episodes. These posts are gonna get so long they’ll have to go under a cut for the later episodes!

💖🦩🥭

[entorri]

BruceFest 2022 | Ted Raimi Photos & Signing Experience #1

Ted was the first person I got to meet at the festival! Seeing him in person on the stage at the opening ceremony was so surreal— it felt like a dream. Actually, throughout the entire weekend, I had to keep grounding myself and reminding myself that I was there. In the flesh. And they were, too.

Before taking my first picture with him, I was very fidgety and anxious and I was messing with my hair a lot, to the point where someone my dad and I had met at the fest, who was standing in line with us, started to pick on me about it. The man went right before me, and as he was leaving, I was standing next to Ted and he whispered something in his ear. I knew exactly what he was doing, and so I dejectedly whine, “Hey, come on! Don’t do that!”

Ted turns to me and goes, “oh, are you nervous about your hair?”

I say, “I am nervous about my hair, yeah. And they keep making fun of me for it!”

He immediately says “it looks great! It looks amazing! Are you kidding me?”

Ted helps me get in position for the picture. He’s super gentle and respectful! We take the picture, I say my goodbye, and then I get right back in line for another photo with Ted, but with my dad too!

When I walk through the curtain again, Ted smiles and says “Hey, I know you! We go way back! Glad to see you again!”

Ted then instructs my dad to get on his left side. He explains to him that he’s going to push my dad away and that my dad has to look super pissed about it as Ted and I get all cozy together. 💀 I’d seen Ted do this in photos before online, and I was honored he wanted to try it out with me.

Ted is incredibly personable, charming, and funny. He knows exactly what to say to make you feel at ease and treats you like an old friend. At the signings, he asked for my name, which you usually don’t get from celebrities at these events— and he remembered it throughout the weekend as well! But he also called me “dear” / “my dear” and “young lady,” which felt so nice.

Men can flatter women and make them feel beautiful and appreciated without being disrespectful and gross? Who woulda thought?

The first thing I asked him to sign was this print of an art piece I made of Travis. Here’s how our conversation went:

N: Hello!

T: Hey! How you doing again? Good to see ya!

N: I’m good, how are you? I just have this art print I’d love you to sign for me.

T: This is great!

N: Thank you!

T: Where do I—? How do I get these cool things? I always find them online.

N: Honestly? I will literally—

Then Bruce leans over to check out what Ted is signing. Ted shows him.

T: It’s me!

B: Where’s that from?

T: It’s from the game.

B: Really?

T: I’m a cop, yeah.

N: Rough night.

T: Yeah, rough night. It’s really weird, I guess I’m just learning this but I’m sure you’re quite used to it, but— there’s a whole bunch of fan art which is, like, an alternate reality of that world. So, this [my art piece] isn’t in the game, but it takes place during a long night where these—

B: Yeah, with Evil Dead there’s just a bunch of— just a bunch of art.

T: Yeah! Pretty much the same thing.

N: I will totally print it out and bring you another print tomorrow!

T: Would you?!

N: Yeah!

T: Is it expensive to do?

N: No, not at all!

T: Thank you! And who do I make it out to, first of all? Is it your— did you draw this?!

N: Yes!

T: This is your—?! Oh, I saw this online! I think it’s online?

N: I posted it a couple places, yeah.

T: Not on… not on Pinterest…

N: Instagram?

T: No, it was…

N: Tumblr?

T: Tumblr! I saw it on Tumblr! Yeah, you’re really talented!

And then he asks for my name. He notices my signature on my art and says he recognizes it. I pronounce it for him and told him that it’s a play on my name.

And then I quickly show him a picture of the gecko I got over the summer, who I named Joxer. Ted said he’s adorable. Bruce was leaning over and seemed to want a peek too, so I showed him, and then he started singing, “Joxer the mighty, smells like Aphrodite,” and Ted joined in. <3

I went through to get a couple more things signed. Here’s how they turned out! Ted always has something funny to write on the pictures.

Sadly, there were no places in Estes park where I could get another print of my artwork, so I wasn’t able to fulfill my promise of getting one to him. At least I know that the Ted Raimi wanted a print of my art, though.

Insane. Crazy. Unbelievable.

I’ll be posting more about my experience at the fest with not only Ted, but Bruce too, so stay tuned! Until then, here’s Joxer, my idiot reptilian son. <3

[thesmutalorian]

Oh bro, scarlex #4evaaa 😤😤 (the ART for that pairing bro lmao, I love women for their weird passions so much). I am considering an AO3 account purely to do a chapter by chapter review/commentary for you lololol. I probably should just do it, the whole reason I haven’t is some teenage-born fear of the cops somehow interrogating me for some unrelated shit (????) and this sort of tomfoolery comes up bc they’ve seen my phone shit and next thing you know, dateline has me on blast for my risqué reading tastes smh 😔 it does not make sense in any way (like gorl it’s too late for your online trail, you’re already ruined) and I need to get over myself lmao

and no need to apologize for not writing his POV, you gotta do what you gotta do, bro. But I share the sentiment of “oh this absolute biTCH BOI” when I read his thoughts Lmfao. Friggy’s lack of a part 2 was devastating. I am unwell over it. I need Allison to have some goddamn agency. I have since branched out in my search and looked at ffn for content 🙂 which brings me to my next questiooooon, have you read a story called Cold Hands? It’s the first of a 3 part series, and although the premise had me kinda like ehhhh, I think it’s pretty good! I’m only just in the second part, but it’s a good time. 

I would actually die if I had to interact with murder crab men tbh. It couldn’t be me, would simply perish of fright, so I’m glad you understand LOL. 

Bro the space pond- that shit was delightful. I ENJOYED that, like Charlie needed a win and now she has a little spa/swimming pool/ oasis situation she’ll hopefully get more access to 😎 the tail, shit, I’m about here like 👀what that tail do👀👀

You should definitely feel free to post from that board of ta’kesh 👀 I am curious. also, finding out you are into mando is so funny when seeing the similarities between mandalorians and Yautjas 💀💀💀that shit killed me, I was like this woman knows what she’s about! 

I look forward to more good soup 😊

me reading your play by play if you do (but also I understand cause I’ll cry if I’m ever traditionally published and someone’s like ‘hey did you write about fcking the predator’)

I haven’t heard of cold hands but now I wanna check it out!!

the tail do {redacted} ☺️ and yes mando (read masked men) in general really do it for me — probably has to do w years of trying to decipher and cater to others’ emotional swings and loving the idea of Not that🤪 and then them being absolutely ruled by a strict code that they then twist or break for the sake of affection????? BROOOO SIGN ME TF UPPPPP 😤👏🏼 💳💳💥💥

(I forgot to drop fanart, none of it is mine just Pinterest sourced and I’d tag them if I knew)

*update* wonderful @predatorperspective said these are from

creature13, xenogardian and crispy-ghee 🫡

[dragonfruitghosts]

So I was never really sure how to post about this specific selfship due to my f/o being my own oc and also that this stemmed from me shipping said oc with my fictotype and it evolving into selfshipping. But fuck it I’m dedicating this post just to talking about my fictional boyfriend that I created

The funny story behind how Elliot became one of my main f/os is that I drew Larry (from the special interest and also one of my main fictotypes) in love and shit, and my bestie and brother said “give that man a boyfriend” and I replied “challenge accepted”. So I revamped Elliot, who was a very old sf oc at this point, and shipped him with Larry. This then ended up with me, the fictionkin of Larry, to be in love with Elliot.

It’s stupid, it was my own undoing, and I don’t regret it in the slightest I love this fictional man I created. So yeah technically my own self insert is a canon character. It’s happened before and I can bet it will happen again.

Anyways we’re T4T, we’re both gay ass men, we’re both ace and demiromantic, we’re both alterhuman and otherkin and fictionkin, and I always get so anxious about posting Larriot art for no fucking reason lmao. There’s so much I wanna talk about when it comes to Elliot and Larriot as a whole so idk if you wanna ask about these two idiots (affectionate) I’ll be glad to answer anything about them. I really wanna post more about my selfships since they all mean a lot to me so look out for that whenever I get confident enough to post selfship stuff again lol

Also I found this userbox template thing in the selfship tags (I can’t remember for the life of me where the post was where I found it I’m so sorry) and I decided to make some with a few of my f/os, so here’s my Elliot Drew one. It isn’t much but I really like it lol

[freetheshit-outofyou]

Hi Sir.

First, thank you for your years of service.

But thank you also for your intelligent, interesting, often funny, always thought provoking Tumblr!

(My own Tumblr is, um, less high minded.)

We may be very different men in some ways, but your ideas on government, self defense, outdoor recreation, food, nature, married life, and most other subjects are right on, Sir!

On marriage, I happen to have a husband, not a wife, but I think for both of us the experience is an amazing journey of discovery and adaptation.

On self defense, I was never in the military. Honestly I don't know what half the weapons you post are. I just try to do a little karate, and lately a little kobudo in my "old age." (59, the oldest I've ever been!) But I marvel at your evident skill and breadth of knowledge. The whole point of being able to fight, after all, is to attain peace.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts online, Sir!

Just when I’m sure the Human race is beyond recovery someone pops up and reminds me there are still good damned people on this blue sphere we call home. @hoss-sc, First and foremost, thank you for your kind words, with that said I have been accused of a great many things, High Minded is not one of them, but I'll take what I can get. Thank you, it is my honor to have served, I found more than I’ve lost and it changed my perspective on so much. It is true we are different men but as I have found, people as individuals, devoid of the separations and segregation that are placed on us by society and governments see more eye to eye than we know. When you understand that the very people, organizations and governments that keep putting us in little boxes are the very one’s fanning the flames of hate and distrust. Reminds me of this scene from Men In Black.

I don't have much need of those little boxes, those categories that we are yoked with. I chose who I like, or dislike, based on who they are not who I'm told they are. As I have said many times on here I don't care where a person comes from, who they bend a knee to, who they sleep with or what color they are. My baseline qualifier is what kind of Human they are. I have never had one of those artificial sub-categories clarify a person for me, only time and actions can so that. The chaff will always separate from the Wheat given enough time to do so.

I am pleased you and I have much more in common than not. I think every Human has Rights that exist before the laws of men. I think life outside teaches more practical lessons than and room and 4 walls can. I think Governments should be small and people should be allowed to be free. Hoss, I’m glad you have found your love and your happiness, damnit it is a rare thing in this age of instant gratifications and disposable relationships. With that said I have been married 3 times, the first one left me while I was deployed, the second one stabbed me and the one I spent all those years looking for, well, we’ve been together 17 years this July. I don’t care if one is in a same sex relationship or an opposite sex relationship, who people sleep with has very little to do with me or what I think of them. I’m sure you and I could have long conversations about the boxes society has created to keep people both locked up and hidden in. Self-defense, Man this hits me to my core. EVERY HUMAN HAS THE RIGHT TO SELF-DEFENSE!! Self-defense is the cornerstone to living a life free from oppression either from thugs and criminals or oppressive governments. I think everyone should learn a form of unarmed self-defense and learn to use firearms because deferring your safety and the safety of those you love to someone less concerned about your survival just isn’t the greatest option. I taught unarmed self-defense for 10 years and I have taught armed defense for close to 30 years, each one is an important aspect in our personal responsibility to not live in victimhood. A few years back I started training in Filipino martial arts (kali, escrima, arnis) with a guy out at NAS Fallon, it is so different from the traditional Jiu Jitsu I started with in the 90’s and the Gracie style of Jiu Jitsu I did for many many years and the same style my kids do now. I trained at if for a little over a year before the guy got orders and I haven’t found an instructor since, small town blues. I cannot accurately express how important I feel self-defense is. But, as you know, as we get on in the years all the shit we did to our bodies in our younger more rambunctious years starts to slow us down. I’ll be 53 in June and all those “Oh shit, I survived that!” moments remind me that I am not quite a spry as I once was, but I’m also not dead. I will never be as fast or agile as I was at 20 or 30 or even 40 but I will never go down without a fight, it’s just not in my DNA. Thank you again, I mean that from the deepest places in my soul. “The ultimate aim of martial arts is not having to use them” ― Miyamoto Musashi, A Book of Five Rings: The Classic Guide to Strategy

[binarybitex]

Since today is appreciation day, I obviously had to send something in ^^ This is going to be really long because I have a lot to ramble about -w-

Let's start with the obvious. Cardboard Castle. I FUCKING LOVE IT!!! I feel so lucky to have been graced with an over 100k-long slow burn with my favorite pair. You had my ass checking the tag every day to see if it had gotten an update. Every chapter is amazing, but 4 and 5 have to be my favorite. Something about them is just… idk. Maybe it's because I absolutely love carnivals and go to them every chance I get, and the way you described them it just made me feel like I was reliving them. Plus the corn maze scene?? Dawg you had me feeling like Sebastian thinking “Just kiss him!!” The fact that it’s not really a date, but totally is. Just reading it makes me feel so festive, no matter the time of year. Thinking about it now I have the urge to make some apple cider. With all the inspiration I get from it: here’s a little mood board based on it!

As for chapter 5, I really just enjoyed the dialogue at the end. The vibes are also immaculate. I can enjoy a good angsty fic like the next guy, but David and Max just bonding with each other and being mundane makes me feel so soft. The dialogue really felt like two people just going over old memories. In your author’s note, you mentioned it would be a boring chapter, but I feel like it was anything but boring. Whenever I want to read something fluffy, I always go back to that chapter. Plus what Max did to Charly was hilarious. I don’t have as much to say about this one as I did chapter 4, but nonetheless, I love it!! To be honest, it was after reading chapter 5 that I really got into writing and decided to upload my work/become more active in the maxvid community as a whole.

And onto Heart Hallow ;D I don’t usually find myself getting into OC projects, but when webtoons recommended it to me, I was like “I’ll give it a go” AND I’M GLAD I DID BECAUSE AJDGWMEOWHFE. I adore the characters, the drawings (particularly the coloring you do for each panel!), and the little stories they go through each chapter. I can tell so much love went into it from just seeing how you talk about it when asked. Kara is up there as one of my favs (yes because she’s Aroace but it has a good personality!! I just like seeing Aroace characters >w>) but Lewis and Zeke are my top too. On several of my assignments, I have Z + L scribbled on them surrounded by hearts. It has driven my friends crazy trying to figure out who they are LMAO.

And just like I do with all my favorite media, I had to insert my OC in there somewhere :3 So, Spencer! I had a lot of fun filling out her card and doing the little edit. She managed to sneak her way into employment at HH (I’m not creative, please just accept this.) and is one of the housekeepers. So two things about her. One, she’s an artist. She does a lot of landscapes/portraits. And two, she’s super messy. Which is why she has a bunch of paint all over her! She’s good at getting it out though.

Anyways, the reason that she has paint all over her is that she noticed a lot of the walls at the hotel needed to be touched up, and since she’s really good with matching colors (make-up artist), she used what paint the hotel did have to create the color needed to re-paint the walls. Then she heard about the old murals that used to be on the walls (probably from Lewis) and was like, “Wait a second. I can paint landscapes. I should do that!” So she got (dubious) permission from Mr. Wright and got to painting! She does it whenever she has time. Mr. Wright seems like he wouldn’t care, cause free art. So yeah. She does a lot of painting so constantly dirty, much to Lewis’s annoyance. And every holiday she gives all her co-workers paintings because it's cheap and easy.

And some doodles :> Not the greatest artist but I like to think I’m funny.

She suffers from having bad taste in men disease :( Her two friends, Ava and Mia run a bakery and anytime they have leftovers they give them to her. If she has anything left from that she’ll take in with her to share the next day. She is also super tall (6’5) because it's funny to insert her into a show/movie/comic and have her be the tallest person there. I also had another meme in mind but I don’t think I’ll finish it in time so be prepared for a random meme in your DMs one day.

And that’s it. Sorry it’s so long, I just want to make sure I say everything on my mind!! You’re super cool and I love your stuff and keep up the good work :3 Have a great day!!! (again your art is really nice to look at ok bye)

hi omg!! this is the most pleasant thing to open my phone up to and I just have to thank you for taking the time to write all this to me! 🫶

I'm beyond elated you've loved cardboard castles as much as me. it's my baby, and chapters 4&5 are my favorites too! I LOVE the moodboard!! omg!! srsly you did such an amazing job with it!

and Spencer is adorable !! I had a feeling you might have been coming up with an OC 👀 she'd fit right in with the cast. love how tall she is... the fact that she's taller than lewis is just 🤌and we're definitely missing a creative personality type at Heart Hollow! (for now. a new character gets released soon towards the end of book 1. she's an eccentric artsy kinda woman herself!)

your art is so cute, I love your style!! and the fact you filled out an employee sheet for spencer makes me so happy 🫶

have a lovely day and I hope that you'll send some more stuff my way! my asks are always open :-)

(btw ur ask totally made my day!!!!)

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

FR THO, like atp we need just a filter for asks 🙄 It's nice to interact with your favs

I might post my writing out of boredom, because I have one written already, but I feel like if I post it I'm not gonna be able to post regularly. Just because I lose motivation, and die 😭

ALSO ARE YOU IN MY WALLS OR SMTH? I WROTE MY ART COMMENT THINKING OF MY DRAWING OF CHOSO 💀 I keep staring at it I love it sm I CANNOTT, rumor has it if you come into my room you might catch me pecking a kiss onto the page. God I love Choso sm, hes on my mind all the time, like atp I'm gonna charge him for rent 😭

Srsly tho, I didn't mean to draw him. I've been thinking of him so often that when I started drawing in my sketchbook, it just.. Turned into him. I don't even really be drawing men (I find it difficult, I have a really feminine style 💀) but I did it, and he looks a little cutesy rather than smexy, but for some reason it fits him??

Someone please end my suffering, well it isn't suffering, but I'm so obsessed with him 😔💔 I don't mind it, until my friends tell me I'm annoying cause I keep talking about him (Honestly they're sick in the head and need help, which I will NOT give cause this is so fake of them. I'll remember these moments when they call me at 9 pm again 😒)

BUT FR HELP, LIKE WHY DID MY FRIENDS KEEP ME UP UNTIL 5 AM?!?! I WOKE UP AT 3 PM, SO I'M TIRED. Gonna have to take a nap to even it out 😞 My dentures are tired yk? My bones ache from being awake 😢 (I love being dramatic)

But get to work. My forehead is cold and in need of ekisses 🤞😋 (I keep reading what you said because it makes me giggle, you're so funny 😭🙏)

GAHHJJSJAKKA, Im literally squealing like a little girl over all the romantic things in all of your stories omgomgomg. I NEED SOMEONE TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS, Standards have been risen impossibly high 💀

XOXO 👽 (Might nap after this, I'll let you know 😽)

oh yeah if i don’t write a whole smau before posting it i would never post regularly LMFAO that’s how it was with my first smaus …. shivers… BUTTTT who cares about posting regularly post ur writing 😈😈😈😈

yes i’m in ur walls if u hear scratching its just meeee! but no i get it the choso brain rot is REAL and debilitating… just a brain full of choso…. omg how silly u mostly draw women and i mostly draw men… i think the only women i draw is like rei and shoko LMFAO

YOULL RMBR THOSE MOMENTS WHEN THEY CALL AT 9PM LMFOAOAOAOA…. UNTIL 5AM??? i’d die like i’d simply pass away i fear.

i am glad u like the… romantic… aspects of my writing bc …. i suck at writing the romance parts i fear anyway i hope u had a good nap if u did nap !

[lyriclorelei]

Rules: 10 books for people to get to know you better, or that you just really like.

I wasn't technically tagged by @seiya-starsniper, but helping her brainstorm made me think about what I would choose, so here we are! Presented in the order I first read them:

Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery Anne and the residents of Avonlea have always been good friends. This was one of the few books on tape I had on a 2 week car trip when I was little and I didn’t get tired of listening to it on repeat pretty much the whole time (the same can’t be said for my parents).

Crisis on Conshelf Ten by Monica Hughes So, I first encountered this one when it was one of the passages in a reading comprehension section on a standardized test. I am so glad that I was able to remember the title without being about to write it down and that because of early amazon my parents were able to locate a copy of this out of print book.

Fullmetal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa When I got my first ever bonus from work, I bought the full set of this.

Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld I’ve thought about how violins would sound if they were made out of fabricated wood okay? I love this world and I love how in this one you see the 2 main technologies and then in the next books you see how they can blend and work together.

Real Men Don’t Rehearse by Justin Locke It’s possible I would have ended up as a librarian without having read this book, but this definitely planted the seeds when they did.

World War Z by Max Brooks I love when fiction uses nonfiction formats and Brooks in this really manages to think through all of the ramifications of something world altering like this in a way that truly captures my imagination. Also, as an aside, I have a talent for picking this up when it’s most incongruent to what’s happening in my life, like, you know, traveling to my cousin’s wedding.

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire “Old enough to know what I’m losing in the process of being found” and “she was a story, not an epilogue.” Listen, I became obsessed with a whole fruit because of this one.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel I really love stories with sprawling interconnected points of view. And this one in particular with the Star Trek: Voyager “survival is insufficient” focus on the importance of art to living has a particular place in my heart.

Record of a Spaceborn Few by Becky Chambers I adore this whole series, but this one in particular is where my heart is. It’s funny because I love all the alien species in this universe, but I really do love the way humans are still vastly imperfect, but there’s still such a highlight on the good there is.

His Quiet Agent by Ada Maria Soto It’s quickly become a little comfort story since I first found it.

Tagging: @no-literally, @inkyghoast, @perspicaciouslynameless, @allstrangeandwonderful

[thetooncrew]

as we’re nearing the last few hours of old novmenber, i just want to say thank you all for joining me on this journey!

there’s a bunch of info down in the cut about my personal thoughts about it all, but i realized i don’t want to make you all read 5 paragraphs of old man spiel if you don’t want to LOL. so click the readmore if you want to see me get a little sentimental and just a teensy bit heavy (though nothing horrible - i just talk about being transgender for a bit) about drawing old guys for an entire month.

i was gonna hit off the final day with a fanfiction or a song, but all the WIPs i have aren’t even really close to ‘final draft’ quality and the song i’ve been planning is still a bit of a WIP...maybe i’ll post the draft later today, though! For now, i’ll post the art and prompt later tonight. I hope you guys’ll like it!

not to get sappy, but i have to give MAJOR credit to pretty much all of the setup and planning to my lovely partner, @bloodyfox! they’re the one who created the initial list, worked with me to piece the final prompts together, and let me have a little spot in the their friend group server to post all of my art. this would literally not have been possible without them, so please give them some love!

I guess the big winning question overall, though, is why do I like old men in the first place? to the point I’d do an entire month of drawing them?

easy answer is that i just think they’re funny. something about the phenomenon of weird old cartoon men from the 90s to the ~10s is fascinating to me and it’s sad that they’re a dying art form these days.

long answer is...tough to get into, but the gist is that i’m transgender and nonconformity is something i seek. i have a very complicated relationship with being perceived as a “stereotypical” transgender man. i don’t like that a lot of representation - while i’m glad we’re getting it! - is filled with skinny, purposefully feminine-physique’d guys. no shade to trans men who WANT to be perceived this way, of course! live your life, i’m not speaking for all transgender people here. but personally, i can’t feel represented in these situations, so it helps me to personify myself as ‘ugly’, old, fat, etc. projecting myself onto these guys helps me feel like myself better, despite my love for lolita fashion and the like. i want to be a nonconformist in that way - that’s pretty much all there is to it.

sorry to get so sentimental on a silly joke month, but i’m a sappy man who celebrates every little thing he can get his hands on LOL. TLDR; thank you all for joining me, and i hope you guys have a great december!

[likeapray3r]

Reminiscing a lot about the past … can’t help but recognize the blessings I got out of nowhere early February last year… like in a shock-factor way… and I downplayed every bit of it… i went completely autopilot for months and it was great… I felt relieved for finally having some sort of stability after not having any stability in any area of my life for MONTHS, YEARS. I finally, for the first time in my life, did things for myself that were once so hard to do and most of them I just wasn’t even sure if I deserved or not... but doing it helped me cure something in me that didn’t realize I had the power to give myself a life I like until then. I disappeared from a lot of peoples lives from that point to now. I really miss my high school best friend but I know the friendship was dissolving for a reason. I still hung up the art print she got for me in Paris. I still have a lot of things from people I love and loved in the years. Some people I don’t keep a trace and some people I like to have in a place or depending on how I feel about them I’ll just scatter them around everywhere. I’m not gonna make it obvious but it’s natural. Sometimes I wish I could tell people about it all without feeling like it’s gonna come back to hit me in the face a little too hard. My memory is bad for a few things like passwords. A certain dull weight was completely lifted when I got a real apology from someone I felt completely resentful towards for years, and we’re friends now. That relationship should’ve always just been a friendship, it’s funny to laugh at when I look back it all now because I was so full of shit for assuming that THAT was ever love. I have been so naive throughout my life. I don’t think I realized how completely wrong I was about it once I actually fell in real love. She sends me pictures of her baby and I send her TikTok’s dragging scorpio men. I’m glad to have that instead of that dull pain. There is a lot of relief from just caring about people and letting people care about you in a way that’s honest and simple. I definitely feel more than dull pain for a lot of other things at this point but I don’t even think I want to talk about those yet. Maybe I will and maybe I won’t. Every day I change my mind about something even if it’s just an inch forward or an inch back. I’m not even fully sure how to feel about the things that still hurt because I don’t even know if any of it was real or if sometimes people walk into your life to skew your perception and then leave. Or maybe they weren’t ever really there. That’s what it started to feel like, anyway. Like I was playing with a shadow that never existed and was all in my head. It’s fine because it doesn’t matter now but I still have to live with it. I’ll probably always have to live with it. It’s fine because I’ve learned to live with a lot of things just fine.

[yeetlegay]

Hii. I just want to ask you a question as I like your answers and a welcome blog. How do you keep the differentiation between loving Kinn Porsche on screen and not going there hoping they're together in real life as their chemistry is amazing? I think we'd be too lucky if they were together in real life unfortunately :/

Glad to have you!

As to your question, to put it bluntly anon, I mind my business lol. Actors are professionals and deserve to be treated as such. I love that Mile and Apo seem to be close and enjoy each other’s company, but I don’t follow their personal lives at all beyond the occasional funny anecdotes I see, like how loaded Mile is lol.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to do that at all. I guess having spent a fair chunk of my undergrad years studying parasocial relationships and the commodification of celebrity bodies, I have a healthy fear of engaging in actors outside of their work. I don’t even follow them on social media for the most part, and I’ve only sat down and properly watched maybe two interviews in full with the Kinnporsche cast. Mostly I just see little clips here and there, and sometimes I get asks or DMs about specific interviews or behind the scenes and I’ll go check them out.

So for me it’s pretty easy to just, like, not step into that shippy territory. Again, I’m not saying it’s an inherently bad thing to do. Having written a fair amount about this in an academic setting (although it’s been years now lol), I know how nuanced this is and why people do get invested in celebrity relationships, especially when they’re “queer” (as in shipping two men, two women, etc). To an extent, it’s a natural response to very intentional marketing strategies and the inherent ways in which capitalism makes products of public figures. There’s no way, in almost any present-day society, to make art without being seen as part of it, an extension of it.

Would it be super cool to find out two actors from a show/movie you loved were dating? I mean, yeah! I think the sheer volume of fanfic with this trope speaks for itself lol. And it’s not like it doesn’t happen. Tons of celebrity couples started off as co-stars and fell in love on set. It makes for a good story.

That said, there’s boundaries here, and it’s always a good and healthy thing to analyze how you engage with celebrities and fandom to make sure you’re not contributing to harmful fan behavior or making the actors/singers/whoever uncomfortable. They’re people before they’re anything else, and they deserve respect and privacy just like anyone else does. 💖

[mrpenguinpants]

Spider’s Thread [Reverse AU]

Possessive Red Xiao x Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Commissioned for: @profoundwitchsalad

Art Credit: @ruoyeahs

Warning: Unhealthy relationships.

Prompt:

“You’ve ruined my life because I have a warped idea of what love is and I can’t live without you. But now you’re trying to leave me and I won’t allow that. You left me alive. You have a duty to live for me and by me. I’m not letting you go.”

---

Xiao Semi Series

[ Friendship ] [ Falling in Love ] [ Cuddles ] [ Protective ] [ Affection ] [ Jealously ] [ Opposites Attract ] [ String Of Fate (Soulmate) ] [ Fainting ]

Link to original posts:  [Red! Xiao.] [Reverse AU]

[Masterlist]

Alatus was once told a story by his Master. A sinner who falls into hell is rewarded for his only good deed, choosing not to kill a spider. As his reward, a thread is lowered down for him to climb out of Hell. In the end, the sinner remains in Hell because he kicks aside others and the thread breaks. Alatus doesn't remember why his Master told him this story but he still empathizes with the sinner. He would have done the same or asked for this 'saviour' to extend their hand down instead. That way he could pull them down.

"Xiao? Are you okay?"

He slowly opens his jade eyes to see you hunch over, peering down above him, eyebrows furrowed together in concern as you reach down and softly tap his temple. He allows you to take a moment to do whatever you want with his face before he reaches up to grasp at your wrist gently, holding back on his want to rub circles into your skin. His reminiscing can wait for now.

"What is it?" he asks curtly, sitting up and resting his elbow on his raised knee. You pout at his curt tone but shrug it off as you take a seat next to him and lean your shoulder against his. You dig into your bag and pull out slips of commission papers and hand it over to him to read through what needed to be done today. A few Hilichurl camps needed to be taken care of, sabotaging a slime balloon, all tasks that seem mundane to someone who fought in a war. As he's preoccupied, you take a moment to look at Xiao's face. He's just the slightest bit unnerved whenever you do this because you always seem to know what's bothering someone.

"Were you dreaming of her again?" you ask quietly. The silence is a good enough answer but you nod understandingly. You never knew his Master personally but you did fight a long strenuous battle against her. From one look you could tell she was a manipulative and cruel woman. While it may not be very kind to say, you were glad that with her passing, Xiao would be free from her physically. But mentally...there were still some things to work out. But Xiao was a very reclusive person, especially with his emotions, so pushing him any further would only make him irritated and closed off.

"Venti and Zhongli are joining our party for a bit if that’s alright. They'll help out a lot with our commissions and travelling. I like Liyue a lot but climbing mountains stresses my shoulders out," you laugh as you change the subject to something less depressing. Standing up as you dust your clothes off before turning to Xiao and holding your hand out for him to take. He stares at it hard for a few moments before huffing and reaching over to clasp your hands together.

It has been so frustratingly peaceful since the war ended. He's not used to it and he can still feel the lick of cutting winds and the heavy pressure of rocks against his body when he sees the bard and funeral parlor consultant just on the horizon. If it were up to him, he wouldn't play nice with these two Archons but they're important to you so he bites his tongue until he tastes blood. He knows the Archons do the same. As soon as the two of them spot you both, Venti is already rushing and tackling you to the ground in his excitement.

"Traveler! I haven't seen you in ages. You need to come and visit Mondstadt more," Venti cried into your shoulder as you awkwardly patted him on his back. Always with the dramatics but you cared about Venti all the same. Xiao scoffed before flicking his jade eyes to meet gold as Zhongli stared down at him cautiously. Since the war ended, everyone seemed to have this warped idea that Alatus had some vendetta against the Gods and Celestia but he was fighting because he was told to.

"Xiao. It's good to see you again," Zhongli said to him. Xiao just nodded in acknowledgement. Even with this new mortal form, Morax never bothered to change his eyes. His gaze alone held the weight of the mountains he had thrown. If Xiao hadn’t been under one of them before, he might have crumbled under the pressure.

"Alright alright, Venti. I promise I'll drop by sometime this month but we still have commissions to do!" you laugh as you haul the bard onto his feet and swat his cape down from the speckles of dirt. He grins cheekily at you, linking pinkies with you to seal your promise, before suddenly lighting up as if he just remembered something.

"Actually! Before we start anything, I need to speak to Mr. Zhongli and Xiao. Super important archon things, you know?" Venti nodded to himself as the two mentioned people stared at him with varying levels of confusion. But Venti just waved their worries off and linked his arms with both men as he dragged them off to a more secluded corner with a surprising amount of strength, “We’ll be right back!”

"Do what you need to do but don't take too long," you called after the trio as you trailed off to the side, messing with your bag of commission papers and gear. Xiao hated that. He knows that these two Archons are your...friends.. but shouldn't you be a bit more cautious? Just because they have mortal forms doesn’t make them human, it doesn’t make him human either.

"Hey, there's no need to look so scary. There really is something important I wanted to talk to the two of you about," Venti speaks up as soon as you're out of earshot. It still gives Xiao whiplash whenever he drops the persona and switches back to Barbatos. "Since Morax is the only Archon I trust with this information and, while I don't trust you one bit, you're the one that's with her all the time you should also know. She's ascending to Celestia."

Barbatos gauges both of their reactions. Morax seems visibly surprised, his eyes slightly widened a fraction, while Xiao has no idea what that means. His Master didn’t exactly give him a history lesson on Celestia or Archons, just pointed to who was his enemy and dealt punishments when he failed.

"And what the hell does that mean?" Xiao asks as he crosses his arms. Venti appears for a second as the bard pouts before continuing.

"It's like I said. A mortal who performs great, heroic feats can ascend to Celestia and achieve godhood. Where they will watch over their people from above. I've only seen this once before so it took me a while to recognize the signs. But 1000 years ago, I helped a woman named Vennessa with her ascension and with the traveler's recent actions with winning the war. Well, you don't need me to explain the rest," Barbatos finishes. Zhongli simply hums as he cups his chin and absorbs what's just been heard. He doesn’t seem troubled by the news at all.

"Have you told her about this?" Zhongli questions as he looks towards the direction that you left. Venti shakes his head. “That would mean that she would vanish from this world."

“I know she loves this world. Whether she wishes to ascend or not isn’t my choice but I want her to continue her travels with that beloved smile on her face. But if she does choose to ascend, she will need our help," Venti stares at the two of them in a mix of pride, sadness, and determination. "Can I count on you two for your help?"

It's a complete white noise in Xiao's ears as his surroundings fade out. He thinks he can see Zhongli nod to Venti wishes, the ever calm smile on his face to match the cheery grin on Venti’s. What, now you want to become a God? Leave this world behind? That’s not funny. You made him give up everything. While in your eyes, your blinded hero syndrome, you think you've liberated him from a soulless conquest but he still has nothing. You still took everything away from him and your only compensation was to have him by your side until he left himself. But now you want to leave without a warning? That’s not fair. You don’t get to take back what you owe. He won't allow you to leave him behind.

“Did something happen? Did Venti say something unnecessary again?” you ask out of the blue. Zhongli and Venti had returned to their respective regions once your commissions were all finished. Since the three of them disappeared to talk Archon business, Xiao had seemed even more tense and aloof than usual. As if he was out of it? You knew that everyone was still suspicious of Xiao and they were angsty to leave you alone with him, but you knew Xiao would never do anything to hurt you. When he doesn't answer, you slowly reach over and you subtly nudge his head up onto your lap and look at him curiously. Before reaching down and cupping his cheek. He leans into your touch before turning his face into your palm and leaving a soft kiss. It makes you giggle at the ticklish feeling as you look at him so softly. It annoys him.

"You were never connected to the war and yet you fought against us anyways. Even when I killed so many people, why did you choose to spare me?" he asked as you blinked at him before giving it some serious thought. He went on a rampage and almost destroyed the world. It was fun. He doesn't have any regrets at all because he hated humanity. His own Master was human after all. But then you appeared and stopped him. A random outsider that wanted to play the hero. He thought it was cute. Perhaps he had underestimated the lengths someone would go to to save the world they loved but when he fell defeated at your feet. He said that this wouldn't change a single thing. He would still scorn humanity and what they did to him. He was so sure he would die there but you chose to extend your hand down to him instead despite what your companions felt. Even when the war ended and he had nowhere else to go, you offered him to travel with you. Nothing changed about his mentality, every person that chose to talk to him was quickly scared away with piercing eyes. Every conversation started would end in silence. Every touch would be met by the tip of his spear. But you would link your hands together with his and smile brightly, and he would always end up forgetting his trauma for a moment. You’ve... become precious to him.

"I love this world and everyone in it. You are a part of that world even if you tried to destroy it. It...didn't seem fair to leave you behind when you've suffered just as much," you finish but it only seemed to spark a wave of deep anger inside of Xiao. He quickly lurched up, almost knocking your forehead with his, before grabbing the scruff of your shirt collar and yanking you forward.

"Cut it out with that "love of everything" crap. It's revolting. So you're saying the people I killed weren't worth avenging? Do you think I'm so weak that I need protection? It's one thing to try and please everyone but at least have some awareness would you?" he snarled as he pushed you to the ground. He knew he was being harsh on you and you had every right to walk out and abandon him but you didn't. Of course, you wouldn't. You needed him as much as he needed you. You just reached over and tenderly reached your hand and placed it next to his. Damn it, why is he always the one stuck worrying about you.

"Then you want to protect me, right? Then don't break your promise. You left me alive which means you have a duty to live for me," he takes your hand in his and squeezes hard. Digging his nails into your own until crescents appear and tiny specks of blood appear so you know he's serious. He doesn't care how you interpret his words, just so long as you never leave him.

"Don't die on me, Hero."

It's been a few hours since the conversation so it's pitch black outside but Xiao was never one to sleep. Even if he could, his mind is too loud to fall asleep too. He's startled when you melt against him fully asleep. Honey smooth as you curl up to his warmth and cling to him like moss to a rock. He can feel his cheeks start to flush as his heart begins to pound against his chest. He can't breathe as his world is filtered through each beat that drums against his ears. He's not sure if there's actually something wrong with him or if it's just been a while since someone got so close and his instincts haven't left.

He's just realized it. He's feeling pain. The feeling in his chest is black but he can't claw it away. It's strange in a way that he can't explain it, that he's never felt before, that he's never felt the need to experience. His life had been warped by battle and a constant push to submit to his Master. They are all things he knows but the gentle words that come from your mouth, the bright eyes that hold the world, the horrible ice-hot feeling inside of him is so foreign yet too easy. He doesn't like it.

It makes him feel...clean in a way. Enlightened perhaps? His Master is long gone and it's like you said. He's free now. Free to make his own decisions and live his life how he wants to. He carefully turns over so as to not startle you away as he really looks at you. You look so peaceful in his arms, eyelids shut without worry, face slack without nightmares, breathing so softly against him. If you weren't so close to him that he couldn't feel the rise of your chest, he wonders if he would think you were dead. He stares at the lock of hair swaying back and forth with each breath like a starved man. The strange feeling doesn't stop. He hates it. It's everything that goes against him and what he knows and everything he should want. He's supposed to be the villain in your story, he should kill you right now-

"Xiao..." he hears you mumble beside him as you lean further into his arm. Damn it. How low is he going to go?

“What are you thinking about now? You just need to think about me. Don’t think about anything else...but me” Xiao sighs before he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into him until you're snug against his chest. Close to him, where he can touch you, where you belong. Not with Morax or Barbatos. Not with humans but beside him. He closes his eyes and nuzzles his head into your hair and he stares off into the distance. The feeling never leaves him for the remainder of the night.

"Ah! There you are. I was running around crazy looking for you," he turns his hair to see your flushed form pulling yourself up onto the mountain cliff, "When I woke up I couldn’t find you anywhere! You gave me a scare there."

He hates you. He hates you.

Words of his previous master ring in his ears, almost as if her very soul is wrapping around him as she whispers in his ear how weak he is. Ones with power that refuse to take what they want because they rather live in the comfort of nothing. Be greedier, take what belongs to you.

"Xiao?" you say as his piercing eyes stare directly through you. His Master always told him that she loved him. Even if he hated her he still clung to that false love. Of being wanted. Isn't love for a single person vile? Would feeling such emotions for one person instead of "everyone" bring you down to reality? It's not fair that you've crawled your way into his heart while you walk along in bliss. Now that he thinks about it. It was so simple. He just needs to monopolize your thoughts and love. This time it won't be as friends.

"I love you."

He'll pull you down to where he is. You extended your hand down to hell so it's your fault. He'll drag you down kicking and screaming if he has to. You left him alive. You have to live for him and by him. He's not letting go.

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