#I shot to popularity for some reason which meant I could REALLY get a birds eye view

[snippychicke]

Cats & Ships Chapter Three

Title: Cats & Ships

Overall Rating: Teen for now? May go into mature at a future date

Trigger warnings: Nothing beyond what's in the live-action series. I mean, Kuro's still manipulative and paranoid. It gets better tho? Slowly?

Pairings: Captain Kuro (Klahadore)/Reader; hints of Kaya/Usopp

Summary: It started out as a means to get information as Khaladore. Who would be better to provide information regarding the high seas than Syrup Village’s Harbormaster? Except, for the first time in a very long time, Kuro found himself trusting, and even liking, the young woman he shared tea with every week. 

And then the Straw Hat Pirates arrived and ruined his plans. Except fate decided his story wasn’t done there. 

Nor was yours.

Masterlist here! | Read on Ao3!

Returning to piracy was inevitable, as much as Kuro disliked it. He hated the fact that living in relative luxury and peace was at odds with his more… violent tendencies and that occasional thirst for blood. 

Which had meant finding Jango and Bezen Black (which wasn't hard. He just had to find the most popular dance hall in the East Blue and there was his First Mate), and then rebuild a crew. 

The new crew were as incompetent as his old ones, barely able to follow direction and often trying to improvise instead of sticking to the plan. But after making a few examples of those who crossed them, they had mostly fallen in line. 

Kuro couldn’t trust them -- but he couldn't trust anyone, not even Jango. Gone were the moments he could relax and not worry about finding a knife suddenly in his back, or poison in his drink. 

He had to be on guard. Always. Show no mercy, not a hint of weakness. 

The raiding of a passenger ship between his old haunting grounds of Syrup village and Shell Town  was supposed to be routine. Smash, grab, disappear before any of the marine vessels could answer the distress call. (So far no one had seemed to take his victims seriously when they claimed to be attacked by the Black Cat Pirates, but it was only a matter of time. Soon he would have a bounty on his head and an even larger target on his back.)

But of course, things had to go sideways. But in a way he had not anticipated. And that was when a small black streak shot across the deck towards the huddled group of passengers, snarling and hissing as it launched itself at one of his crew.  

Except a well timed kick sent the beast flying. Kuro's eye twitched when he realized the creature was a black and white cat, but it was the scream that followed that made Kuro pause his descent into the hull. 

“Kuro!” 

He knew that voice. He turned in time to see you try to lunge for the cat, only to be kneed in the chest by the same man who had punted the cat across the deck. 

"What did you just call that fleabag?" The man laughed, which was echoed by the rest of the crew in charge of keeping an eye on the passengers. "Did you really name your cat after the pirate captain? Well, my pretty little bird, it's your lucky day." 

Kuro took a breath. He should ignore it and continue on. Nevermind you or his namesake, or the sudden pang beneath his ribs as he remembered the time he had spent with you over the years. Or how fond he had grown of the one-eyed cat that unknowingly carried his name. 

Yet for some reason, he couldn't. The captain growled to himself as he turned and strode quickly to where the cat was climbing to its feet, obviously not used to the sway of a ship on open water. Or at least, Kuro… hoped. He hoped that was the cause of the cats shakiness and not something else. 

Picking a cat up with his Cat Claws would be impossible, making Kuro hesitate for a moment. Yet as soon as the cat recognized the towering figure, he was quickly climbing up the pirate's pant leg with plaintive whine. 

Soon, his namesake was settled in the nook of one of his arms, acting as if he hadn't just been treated like a ball. 

Which left you. Kuro turned to see you curled in a ball against the deck, shielding yourself from the boots of the pirates. His anger took control before he could think. 

Within a second he was behind the man who started it. The five blades of one Cat Claw easily slide into the man's back, ending the laughter with a choked breath. 

Silence quickly fell just as fast as the dead body hit the deck.

"We're not here to torture the passengers," Kuro stated coldly to the others, pushing his glasses back up as he glared down at the corpse. "Follow the plan, or the next person to step out of line will answer to me as well." 

"Sir, yes sir!" They shouted before scattering. Kuro waited until they were gone before glancing towards you. You were still half-laying on the deck, your eyes wide and full of tears, hair a mess…

But it was the blood smeared across your face and arms that made his temper flare even more. A busted lip, abrasions marring your skin…

"On your feet," he commanded, though far softer than if you had been anyone else. 

There was no doubt that you recognized him, not with the mixed expression on your face. Relief. Hope. Anger. Hurt. 

Which meant you knew. Knew everything. He couldn't trust you either. Not any more. 

You opened your mouth a few times, almost as if to say something before giving up and silently standing, wavering slightly. He wasn’t sure if you were shaky due to the abuse you had sustained, or the fact the seas were somewhat choppy today. Either way, he allowed you a moment to gain your balance before he turned back towards his ship.

 "Follow me." He stated and was able to hear your unsteady steps as you complied without argument  and followed him over the gangway plank that bridged the ships. 

He paused for a moment when you hesitated at the edge, shooting you a glance over his shoulder. It was all the warning you needed as you quickly stepped up on the narrow plank that served as a bridge.   

Despite being more than a few feet in front of you. Kuro could here your faint whimpers as you slowly crossed, and recalled you weren't fond of heights. 

Which, now that he had a moment to think, he had to wonder what in the blue seas were you doing out here? So far away from Syrup village? From the harbor you so dearly loved? You had never expressed the slightest interest to leave before, so what could compel you to do so? 

He led you to his quarters, and carefully allowed Kuro-the-cat to jump down on the swinging bed before removing the Cats Claws. "Please, close the door,” he stated when he heard you linger at the door. “I don't think we want Kuro trying to explore the rest of the ship." 

You closed the door, though you didn't move a step from it. "Is…Is he okay?" you finally spoke. 

Kuro smiled faintly to himself as he ran his bare hands along the cat in question, the cat purring happily with no flinching as he felt his ribs and legs. "He's fine. Cats have nine-lives, after all." 

Once he was satisfied the cat wasn't injured, he finally turned towards you. You quickly looked away, your face flushed as you hugged your arms to yourself, obviously terrified. 

He could hardly blame you, he could only imagine what was going on in your mind. How much of the truth did Kaya tell the village? Or did she just give a small hint and the rumor mill cause the story to develop in unexpected ways. 

Regardless, seeing you covered in blood unsettled him in ways he rather not admit. Kuro moved silently as he grabbed a clean cloth before dipping it in the wash basin, wetting it slightly before approaching you. 

"Now, are you okay?" He spoke as a warning before cupping your face, though you still jumped. His grip was gentle as he guided you to look towards him, carefully wiping the blood away. 

Honestly, they were minor injuries but still made his blood boil. 

(If only he could kill the idiot again. He should have taken his time. He wasn’t usually a fan of torture, but he could’ve made an exception.)

"Khala--" you cut off as his eyes met yours, and he arched an eyebrow, curious. "...Captain Kuro," you finished, as if acknowledging the elephant in the room.

Kuro's smile widened slightly, becoming cat-like as he stated your name in return before asking the question still bothering him. "What are you doing so far from home?" 

Your expression melted into grief unexpectedly before you pulled away from him. "Finding a new one." 

He pushed away the feeling caused by you stepping back and wadded up the bloodied cloth instead.“Did you finally realize you deserved better than that squalor of a village?” he asked as he tossed the cloth in a basket of other dirtied clothes.  

You scoffed, your gaze taking on a hard edge. “Hardly. More like I was no longer welcomed. After all, no one would trust a harbormaster who had been friends with a devious lying pirate.”

Kuro nodded his head slightly, not particularly insulted; that did make sense, he supposed. He hadn’t really given thought about the fallout of that night, other than the chances of the marines realizing that he still lived. 

He could easily see the villagers turning on you, the seeds of distrust quickly taking root and threatening to bloom into chaos. 

“My apologies,” he stated after a moment as he turned to check on his namesake, who had hopped up on the shelving holding items he had collected over the years. “Nothing went according to my plans, it seems.”

“Your plans? Your plans?” He turned back to see fire in your eyes as you glared at him. “For fucks’ sake, Klahadore-Kuro-whatever your name is, I had once admired you for your ingenuity and always being one step ahead, pirate or not. But mother sea, I had never realized you to be such an idiot!”

“Excuse me?” He felt an eye twitch in annoyance, irritation quickly simmering. Him? An idiot? The great Kuro of a thousand plans? Who were you to say such a thing? A tiny little harbormaster that had perhaps one of the quietest ports in all of the East Blue? 

“Why the hell did you think you needed to kill Kaya to get what you want?” You snarled, either not recognizing the signs of anger, or foolishly ignoring them. “She said it herself, she would have happily given you whatever you wanted! You were fucking family to her! Hell, now she's left the manor and the rest of the estate to the village so she can go off and become a doctor! Were you so blinded by greed to not see how much we--she-- cared for you?” 

Kuro hesitated, digesting your words and the implications. Could it have been that easy? Would Kaya have agreed to such a thing? And what did you mean the girl had left the village as well? A doctor? Why would she give up a life of luxury to be a doctor of all things? 

“It never crossed your mind, did it?” you continued after the silence lingered a few more moments. “You lived with us for three years, took care of the girl with such devotion… And you were so heartless that you never paused to think that maybe could be the path to your goal.” 

“You’ll get nowhere if you expect your goals to be handed to you on a silver platter," he argued sharply, stalking back towards you. "It’s best to take them, by force.” 

To emphasize his point, he grabbed your neck roughly, just below your chin to make you look up at him. He could feel your pulse bounding against his bare fingers, your eyes widening in fear.

 It would be so easy to twist your neck. Or squeeze his hand until you couldn’t breathe and he could watch the life fade slowly from your eyes. 

Except the longer he watched you, the more the bloodlust faded and something akin to regret took its place, causing his grip lightened. You… you had been one of the rare ones. 

One of the few he had trusted. The only one he had trusted in recent memory. 

“Are you going to kill me?” you spoke after a long moment, snapping him out of his thoughts. There was a cold darkness that seemed wrong in your eyes.  “Had that been part of your plan as well?”

No. It hadn’t. He had expected the arrangement with you to continue after Kaya’s ‘unfortunate’ death, until he tired of playing Klahadore and could no longer ignore the need for violence that was constantly itching in the back of his mind.

Hell, he could at least admit that he had entertained the thoughts of seeing if he could progress his relationship with you more than once. There was no denying he found you attractive, both physically as well as intellectually. 

He… had liked  you. 

He still liked you. 

Kuro’s hands traced down the line of your neck, watching the vein in your neck quiver as your heart raced. Your skin darkened with a blush, starting in the swell of your cheeks and quickly spreading. He always loved seeing you blush. 

If only you didn’t look so scared. As if you expected the Cat Claws to suddenly form and end your life. 

That trust he had enjoyed had been irreversibly damaged. No more tea while venting about the little annoyances of quiet village life. Or the warmth he felt when you mindlessly prepared him another cup exactly the way he liked it while you talked, putting a cookie on the saucer if he didn't take one. 

“No,” he finally answered, allowing his hand to drop. He turned, trying to calm himself as he picked up his namesake. Kuro-the-cat initially complained as he picked him up, before shifting and curling against his shoulder, purring. 

Maybe he should see about getting a cat for the ship. After all, they were the Black Cat Pirates. It would keep vermin out of the pantry at least. 

There was no better companion than a cat. 

“I wish you well, in fact,” he continued as he dropped the cat into your arms. “Your talents were wasted at Syrup village, harbormaster or not. Just be careful to avoid any other pirates in the future.”

[torquentor]

Hi all! I'm going to be making a mumu, which Hawke AND Aurelio will be a part of. I will be making them multiple verses, including modern, and my mumu will be multi fandom.. bc this fandom is poison.

Abusive muns? Sexism? Racism? Treating female / nb muses inferior to men? Muns who legit talk to other muns like shit? Using nicknames for marginalised groups, who suffer and die every day, as cute quirky things to call your character? Refusing to ship with women and force shipping with male muses? I could go on. No thank you. I want away from the nefarious body of this RPC. I am changing my alias, will be making a new discord, and will not be promoting my new blog here.

I will be messaging certain mutuals w my new info tho to carry on threads with Aurelio AND Hawke, but if I do not share with you and you see my blog in future? Please leave me alone. Dont ask me why, I'm not here to hold your hand and wave a magic wand and unveil all the shitty things people do for them. Reassess yourself. Take responsibility for yourself. Do better. This RPC is a horrorshow, and I ain't buying no more fuckin' tickets.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

a little unconventional (part one)

[foster au]

this is set in America because i don't know how Romania works

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rapture rising

“Alcina, my beloved sister, are you sure all of this is necessary?”

Alcina shot a glare over her shoulder at her toddling younger brother, who she was making carry in several boxes full of various items into one of the many rooms in her mansion. This one wasn’t one of the bedrooms, but rather a temporary storage room for all the things she had recently bought. She was going to have everything set up for the children to choose from when they eventually arrived. Just thinking about them getting to pick out their bedsheets and paint for their new rooms made a smile come to her lips, excitement rushing through her like dozens of butterflies flying for the first time.

…And then her idiot brother bumped into the doorframe and caused an avalanche of boxes to come down on top of him.

“Be careful!” Alcina barked, whirling around to him. She bent down to start picking the boxes up. “You’re lucky there was nothing fragile in here.”

“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Heisenberg grunted, rubbing his head.

“And to answer your questions, dearest brother, yes, this is all very necessary,” Alcina said. “I need this to be perfect for them. This may be the first time those little girls get a real home.”

“Inflating your ego, aren’t you?”

Alcina stepped on his foot.

“I have the paints.” Moreau, Alcina’s other brother, shuffled inside, holding several cans of paint on his arms. If they were hurting him, he didn’t say anything. He seemed pleased with himself for being so useful.

“Thank you, Sal,” Alcina said. She took the cans from him and placed them against the wall. “Yellow, green, red, blue, pink, purple… Do you think that’s enough? What if they want, like, a mauve room?”

“Mauve?” Heisenberg echoed as he was crow hopping on one foot, still recovering from being stomped on.

“It’s a shade of purple,” Moreau supplied.

“I know what mauve is, asshole,” Heisenberg hissed. “I was just saying.”

“And I’m just saying, what if they want a lighter-colored room?” Alcina said. “This purple is dark. Should I go buy more?”

“You could mix white into the paint?” Moreau suggested.

Alcina thought it over, then nodded. “Yes, I could do that. Good idea.”

“Who wants a mauve bedroom, anyway?” Heisenberg muttered.

“Alcina!” A fourth voice echoed throughout the house, and Alcina’s sister entered the room. Donna looked uncharacteristically bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. She was clutching something in her hands. “Alcina, I have finished them!”

“When did you get here?” Heisenberg looked at her.

“Just now,” Donna said. “It doesn’t matter. Look!”

A beautiful doll was presented to Alcina. It was hand-stitched and dressed with great care. All the little details, down to the freckles and shiny eyes, were incredibly-made, and Alcina couldn’t help but pick it up tentatively, as though she were afraid of accidentally destroying it.

“Oh, Donna,” she said. “It’s beautiful! Thank you.”

Donna beamed. “I have also made stuffed animals and toy clothes for them. An entire wardrobe, in fact. Many selections.”

“Damn,” Heisenberg looked impressed. “Toys dress better than I do.”

“We know,” the other three said in sync, eyeing his ratty trenchcoat and old cowboy hat that he insisted on wearing everywhere.

“You weren’t supposed to agree!” Heisenberg barked like one of his dogs.

“Shouldn’t have said anything,” Alcina shrugged daintily. She looked back at Donna and smiled. “Thank you, Donna. I really appreciate your support. I appreciate all of your support. Even yours, Karl.”

“Sure, sure…” Heisenberg said, though Alcina didn’t miss the glint of fondness in his eyes.

“This is so exciting,” Donna said. “It’s a wonderful thing you’re doing, Alcina. Do you remember when we were all adopted by Mother?”

Heisenberg snorted. “I remember being kidnapped as a child and held for ransom, and then being one of the abduction victims to be actually found alive, only to discover that my parents had been killed while trying to get me back, to which I was then thrown into a home with you three.”

Donna winced. “Not…quite what I had in mind.”

“And you say ‘you three’ like we weren’t your best friends growing up,” Moreau pointed out idly, not looking at Heisenberg as he was helping unload some of the boxes. That one in particular held a wide selection of different bed sheets, ranging from leopard print to floral to plain blue.

Heisenberg raised his nose and huffed. “Well. Still.”

Alcina shook her head with a warm smile.

She vividly remembered life with her adoptive mother, Miranda, and her three other siblings. She was reborn from ash and flame after her old family estate burned down to the ground, smoldering the life she used to have and taking her parents with it. Yes, she could still smell the smoke, taste the embers on her tongue, even now, thirty-five years later. She was so small back then, only nine years old when the fire started, and she watched her home crumble to pieces right before her teary eyes. She thought it was over, that she had nothing, that she was going to be alone forever without her mother and father, but then a woman in a black cowl whisked her up into tender arms and took her under her wing as though she were the chicken to a nurturing mother bird.

She was the first of Miranda’s ragtag rascal children with harsh upbringings. For two years, it was just the both of them, reading books and watching movies in a beautiful countryside manor that quickly became her new home. Though the wounds had still been raw, the burns were very fresh, Miranda filled the void in her heart that her parents’ death left behind, extinguishing that eternal fire of survivor guilt and mourning.

And then the others came along.

At the time, Alcina had been rather indignant at the idea of having siblings. She was an only child with her birth family and she preferred to stay an only child with her new one, too, but she never voiced this opinion to Miranda. She grinned and bore it, even if it meant losing the attention of her mother.

Though, they didn’t end up being that bad…

The first of the “intruders” as she used to call them was Salvatore Moreau, a boy her age, though three months younger, and with a story similar to her own. He had been in a car crash after his drunken father got into a pretty nasty collision. The engine caught fire and it wasn’t long until the rest of the car followed. Moreau was trapped in the inferno, but managed to get out, running towards a nearby lake to extinguish the flames that were trying to make him its newest pyre. Unfortunately, the event left him badly burned, the scar still lingering all these years later, and nobody wanted to take in such a “disfigured child.” Miranda, however, stepped up to the challenge and fostered the boy, eventually adopting him fully later on.

Alcina was, admittedly, rather uneased by her new brother’s appearance at first, but she quickly got accustomed to him, even protective. There were several moments in school where she verbally (and sometimes even physically) pummeled any kids who dared to make fun of him, drilling into the bullies that he was not to be messed with while she was around. Some of her best retributions were when she threatened to leak unwarranted dick pics to the entire school, as it wasn’t uncommon for horny teenage boys to try to get into her pants, and that always shut them up quickly, especially when she loudly proclaimed details on their pathetic excuse for a penis, like the size and shape.

She and Moreau grew close rather quickly, much quicker than Miranda had been expecting. They both enjoyed more mellow things, like reading books and going on walks through the forest. Moreau was the sole reason she passed any English assignments done on Shakespearean literature, as he actually knew how to discern the confusing text, while she had to reread the same page over and over again to simply get a loose grasp on the grammar. He enjoyed cheesy romcoms, birdwatching, and swimming, the last of which he had a strong affinity for because of how the lake beside the car wreck very well could have been the only reason he survived. Now, he owned that very lake and made it into a popular fishing and boating destination for locals and tourists alike.

The second to arrive was Donna Beneviento, when Alcina and Moreau were both twelve. She was a full five years younger than the two of them and didn’t talk very often, at least for a good chunk of the first year she was there. She was put into the foster program after her parents commit suicide, leaving her with nothing but anxiety, trauma-induced selective muteness, and a doll named Angie.

It took time, but Donna eventually started opening up. First to Miranda, and then to Alcina and Moreau. Alcina strongly remembered a time when her little sister came to her room during a thunderstorm, lips quivering, tears glistening in her eyes, Angie clutched in a vice from her thin arms. She didn’t say anything, just stared from the doorway, whimpering and shivering.

“Alright,” Alcina had sighed. She flipped open her comforter, welcoming Donna. “Come on.”

Donna had brightened and skittered into the bed, snuggling right up against Alcina’s side. Alcina didn’t mind and resumed the book she had been reading before--Animal Farm, she believed. Donna pointed at the pages and then looked up at her curiously.

“Oh, this?” Alcina had said. “It’s called Animal Farm. It’s about these talking farm animals overthrowing their farmer to gain freedom, only to then be ruled by a communist pig.”

Donna blinked. “What’s a communist?”

“Well, you see…”

Her late-night explanation was certainly aided by the fact that they were in the middle of the Cold War at the time.

Overtime, Donna slowly grew out of her shell. Though she was still soft-spoken and reserved, she was also very kind-hearted and incredibly creative, which she showed through paintings, arts and crafts, and doll making. She would make dolls out of anything she could find--wood, thread, clay--so it made sense when she eventually became a toymaker once she grew up.

Finally, there was Karl Heisenberg when Alcina and Moreau were thirteen and Donna was eight. Right from the start, he was a loud, spitfire ten-year-old that broke the serene silence that used to hang over Miranda’s estate. He caused a great amount of mischief and mayhem, though Alcina would later discover it was to hide the fact that he was deeply traumatized by what exactly had happened to make him a foster child.

Even now, so many years later, Alcina still didn’t know the full story. Miranda said it wasn’t her tale to share and Heisenberg simply didn’t like talking about it very much. But from what she did know, Heisenberg used to belong to an incredibly wealthy business owner that ruled over their company with an iron fist. Due to the harshness his parents inflicted on their employees, it caused the workers to revolt against the abuse. A certain group took this way too far and kidnapped Heisenberg, holding him for ransom so they could get better treatment and pay at their work. Something ended up happening during the time between Heisenberg being held hostage and his parents paying up, and it left his mother and father in a way that he could never bring himself to explain. She only got snippets of the brutality of their deaths through brief moments when he would come to after vicious nightmares, one of which she actually stepped in to stop when she heard him struggling one night.

“Their heads, Alci,” Heisenberg had gasped, clawing manically for a desperate grasp on her arms, his body jerking and spasming in terror as his nightmare was still releasing his small, twelve-year-old body. “Their heads-- their brains were--” And then he stopped and keeled into her chest, sobbing in a way Alcina had never seen him do before in the two years he was living with her before that moment. Despite her occasional vex towards the boy, he was still her little brother and she was still his big sister, so she had wrapped her arms around him and held him close while he trembled and cried.

She never did find out what Heisenberg meant by “their heads,” but she had a hunch. Still, she never asked.

Nowadays, Heisenberg ran his own factory, where he treated his employees the way his parents should have treated theirs, learning from their mistakes. He also fostered all different kinds of dog breeds until they found their forever homes and rescued the more ‘vicious’ ones, like pit bulls and rottweilers, all of which he treated like royalty.

A freakishly tall girl, a burned boy, a selective mute, and a dog lover… They certainly weren’t the epitome of the stereotypical nuclear family, but they were family through and through, if not by blood, then by bloodshed.

“Do you guys remember the time Karl tried to clean the dishwasher with Kool-Aid?” Donna reminisced with a giggle.

“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” Heisenberg said.

“Absolutely not,” Donna grinned at him.

“I still don’t know how you came to the conclusion that that would work,” Alcina shook her head.

Heisenberg threw his arms up into the air. “John said it did!”

“John also tried to steal a school urinal.”

“Also, you’re supposed to take all of the dishes out before you try to clean it with Kool-Aid,” Moreau spoke up. “You left all of the pots and plates and silverware in it.”

“And he didn’t even put it in the right spot!” Alcina joined, cackling. “You’re supposed to put the powder in the detergent dispenser. Karl, you just poured it out all over the dishes!”

“It wasn’t even the right powder,” Donna put in. “You’re supposed to strictly use unsweetened lemonade only. You used tropical punch!”

Alcina, Donna, and Moreau all burst into laughter, while Heisenberg crossed his arms and glared at them.

“John never specified any of that!” he blustered.

“Never trust John, dear,” Alcina tittered.

“Well, it happened!” Heisenberg said. “It’s over! What other boxes do you need to move!”

More laughter.

“I’m serious! I’ll get the boxes! Also WHAT IS THAT.”

They all turned to see a patchy tortoiseshell cat lazily strolling into the room with them. It looked like it had been run over, dismembered, run over again, and then put back together by a blind surgeon, but it held itself like it was the most pristine lion to ever walk the earth. It glanced over at the four siblings, meowed at them, then continued on its stroll to one of the empty boxes, which it jumped into and made itself comfortable inside.

“It’s a cat,” Donna said as if it should have been obvious, earning a snort from Moreau and then a glare from Heisenberg.

“It’s not funny,” Moreau said quickly after Heisenberg glared at him, too, but it was obvious Heisenberg’s leer was all in good fun.

“No, no. Tom from Tom and Jerry is a cat,” Heisenberg said. “THAT is an overgrown street rat.”

“Well, one could assume the same about you, but you don’t see us pointing it out,” Donna said breezily.

Another bout of laughter, this time with Heisenberg included.

“Okay, okay, you got me there,” Heisenberg said.

“Must you insist on reacting the same way every single time you see Tea Cake?” Alcina finally spoke up through the playful bickering. She crouched down next to the cat and stroked its back, which caused it to purr in content.

“It’s my trademark,” Heisenberg said with a shrug. “That old woman is still alive?”

“And kicking,” Alcina smiled fondly at her pet.

Tea Cake had been with her for a long fourteen years, witnessing more than a few existential crises and drunken concerts put on to chase off her lurking PTSD. That cat came during the worst part of her life, and Alcina owed everything to that little beast. She learned how to laugh and smile and genuinely feel again, not hide behind the facade that she was a strong, powerful woman who could take on everything and come out without a scratch.

And, yes, Alcina had known- still knew, that she had Miranda and her siblings, but sometimes they were not enough, not back then, not when she was filled with so much shame and self-hatred and disgust. Animals were different in a way people couldn’t be. Animals didn’t lie, they didn’t judge or think about how messed up you were in their heads. They didn’t share your secrets or give you false hope. They just--be there. They listened and lent their presence and, sometimes, that was all that was needed, and some people didn’t seem to understand that.

Tea Cake’s fur had dried more of Alcina’s tears than anyone else ever had because she never let them fall in front of others. Tea Cake didn’t get upset when Alcina touched her; she didn’t understand the concept of emotional trauma and sexual harassment and body image issues. She just cared, even if she didn’t quite get it.

Alcina would probably be dead if it weren’t for her.

Yes, she remembered that fateful night… The wind in her shaggy hair she hadn’t washed in days, the moonglow on her ashen skin, the tears burning in her eyes--all of it was so clear, even now. She remembered how horribly, hopelessly depressed she had been and how she drove out to a field with a note on the dashboard and a gun in the passenger seat.

At the time, nothing had helped her. Her antidepressants weren’t working, going out only made her feel unsafe, and her family’s presence no longer brought her comfort and happiness, rather guilt and shame. The only thing that ever helped was when she drowned herself in the alcohol she made for a living, drinking away her despair and trauma until her body tingled and the phantom hands went away. She was surprised her liver never exploded inside of her during those awful few months.

She had sat in her car for a while, leaning her head on the steering wheel and wallowing in silence and darkness. Then, she got out, made sure the note was visible, and grabbed the gun.

She considered calling or texting her mother and siblings, but that would make it hurt worse. It was better to leave them with their last memories of her than to have this sudden news of a goodbye that they wouldn’t be able to stop.

She placed the pistol’s barrel in her mouth and rested her finger on the trigger. Her life didn’t flash before her eyes like some movies or books say it did, and she was quite thankful for it. She didn’t want to relive the agony she had been put through that led her up to that point. She just shut her eyes as tight as possible in preparation for the bullet to pass through her brain…

Then, there was a rustling from the grass nearby.

Alcina hesitated. The metallic taste of the gun left her tongue and she looked in the direction of the noise.

“Hello?” she had called out in her best possible not-about-to-kill-herself voice.

A tiny meow answered her.

“Your roadkill wants you,” Heisenberg’s voice cut through the daze that had momentarily descended upon Alcina’s mind.

Blinking, Alcina realized that Tea Cake was gnawing on her finger and meowing. She smiled.

“It’s probably dinner time,” Alcina said. She stood up straight. “Come on, children. I have news to share.”

Curious, her three younger siblings followed her out of the room and to her kitchen, Tea Cake padding after them eagerly. Her house was a beautiful creation of the finest wood and the most luxurious stonework. Top-of-the-line appliances filled the space and every little detail, down to the hanging droplets on the chandelier and the grooves in the staircase railing, were customized to her preference. 6 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms, 17,182 square feet, 14.99 acres filled by lush vineyards, and $5,500,000 later, and you had the Dimitrescu Estate.

And it was a barren prison.

It had always been there, ever since she moved in: that lingering loneliness that seemed to shroud every hallway. She had so much space, but nobody to fill it. Nobody except herself, Tea Cake, and her maids, of course. Lying awake one night, thinking about this issue as she often did, a solution had finally come to her.

After pouring some wet food into Tea Cake’s food bowl, Alcina grabbed a bottle of sweet butter wine out of her wine fridge and poured a glass for herself and each of her siblings, all of which were staring at her curiously. After taking a long sip, she finally began: “As you all know, I have plans to foster a child. And I greatly appreciate all of the support you three have provided me up until now.”

“Is this an award ceremony or something?” Heisenberg joked light-heartedly. “Can I have the award for most boxes carried? I think I deserve that one.”

“You mean most boxes dropped?” Donna giggled, earning her a playful poke in the side.

“No, it is not an award ceremony,” Alcina glared at Heisenberg without any fire in her gaze. She opened up a drawer in the stainless kitchen island they were gathered around. “Though, this may very well be an award…” She pulled out a blue folder packed full of papers and set it on the marble countertop, grinning brightly. “I just wanted to let you all know first that my training is done. I’ve completed all the classes.” Her heart swelled in her heart as she spoke her next words: “I’m a foster mom now.”

All at once, her younger siblings lit up brighter than the sun’s supernova, throwing their arms up into the air and letting out a celebratory shout. Donna and Moreau even raced around the island to hug Alcina, which she returned with a laugh.

“Oh, that’s so wonderful, Alcina!” Donna said, squeezing her with surprising strength. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Me too,” Moreau agreed.

“Sal, are you crying?”

“No!” Moreau yelped, then sniffled. “I just have something in my eye, that’s all.”

“You mean tears?” Heisenberg teased. He then looked at Alcina. “That’s amazing, Alcina. I’m really happy for you. You deserve this.”

“Aww,” Alcina crooned. “Is my little brother going soft?”

Heisenberg instantly steeled himself. “Me? No way! I was just saying what you would want to hear.”

Still being embraced on either side by her other brother and sister, Alcina chuckled. “I see.”

“Do you know your placement yet?” Donna asked, looking up at Alcina as though she were a child again.

“Placements,” Alcina corrected. She couldn’t help but grin again as she spoke of her future children. “Two. I’m getting two little girls.”

“Aww!” Donna and Moreau both cooed.

Heisenberg was nodding. “Girls. Yes. I can do girls.” He looked up at Alcina. “I’m getting them a puppy.”

“Oh, you don’t have--”

“I’m getting them a puppy,” Heisenberg said again, and it was clear he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

Alcina chuckled. “Alright. A puppy it is.”

Donna and Moreau began to join in on plans for being the greatest aunt and uncle, with Moreau saying that they needed to come to his lake for a swim and Donna listing off all the toys she would make for them. Alcina listened to them with a fond smile, happy to have such a supportive family. This was exactly what her daughters were going to need.

Daughters.

Just thinking about that word made her heart flutter in her chest. Her grin turned giddy. She was going to be a mother soon.

As she sipped from her wine glass, she thought about her placements. She had gotten the call four days ago and was scheduled to meet the little ones in the next two weeks. She could still hear her caseworker’s words in her ears during the conversation as she recalled it to her siblings.

“The first is named Daniela,” Duke had said. He was a studious, patient man with a warm smile and hands like chipmunk paws, keen on helping Alcina ever since she started her training to become a foster parent six months ago. “She’s a little girl and eleven years old. Her parents have, unfortunately, recently died due to a car crash. Her living relatives are unfit to take care of her, so she’s been placed into the foster system. Right now, she’s staying with her aunt and uncle, but she cannot be kept there much longer because of, ah…jealousy issues with their actual child.

The second is named Cassandra. Another girl, this one twelve years old. She’s been in the foster program ever since she was a baby when she was given up, as she was born from a teenager who couldn’t take care of her. She’s had…quite a few foster homes, all of which had given her up to someone else due to…issues. I understand if you don’t want to take this child. She’s been known to cause problems in her houses and pick fights. There is-- woo, that’s a lot of complaints… There are some notes on her left by her former families and-- Goddamn. They’re writing of her like she’s a monster or something…”

“Of course, I couldn’t turn down either of them,” Alcina concluded her retelling. “Especially the second one. Cassandra. The poor thing sounds like she needs a good home.”

“You’re so sweet, Alci,” Donna said, smiling at her.

“Think you can handle it?” Heisenberg asked. “I’m not doubting your abilities, but from what you said about the kid… Well, she just sounds difficult.”

“You were difficult,” Alcina said, grinning at him. “And everything turned out just fine, didn’t it?”

Her youngest brother’s concern didn’t diminish. “Yes, but… I don’t want anything to happen to you or my niece.”

Alcina, Donna, and Moreau all cooed. Heisenberg huffed.

“Oh, shut it! I have a heart!”

“You do,” Alcina’s smile lightened slightly. “But don’t worry: everything will be okay. I can do this. I need to do this. Those two little girls need a mother.”

Heisenberg considered her for a moment, then nodded. He smiled at her. “You’ve got a good heart, Alcina,” he said. “If you ever need any help, I’m here.”

“Me too!” Donna joined in.

“Me three!” Moreau piped up.

Alcina laughed. “Thank you. Really. This means a lot to me. Now…” She raised her glass. “Let’s drink before we have to cut back because there will be children around!”

Her siblings laughed and mimicked her gesture.

Alcina couldn’t wait.

[writerwithfluffysocks]

BB Fic Rec List

Remember to kudos, like, favorite and review! Authors love that love and support for their work!

Most of these fics are rated T or M so if you're underage or that's not your thing then these probably won't be for you. Fics are broken down into categories to make it easier and each states number of chapters, rating and word count. Enjoy!

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CANON FICS

A Dream Within a Dream by BlindAssassinUK (M, 25 chapters, 125k words)

Booth struggles to recover from his brain surgery and with Sweets' assessment that his feelings for Bones aren't real. As if this wasn't enough to keep our favourite FBI agent busy, a serial killer comes to town. Mostly written in tandem with Season 5.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5392047/1/A-Dream-Within-a-Dream

A Lotta Heart by nelliesbones (M, 10 chapters, 18k words)

"Bones, she believes in the system." Except that she didn't. Not completely. Not anymore... This is a story about a woman protecting her family. A story about the man who loves her. Spoilerfree, warm-hearted and M for a reason.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8186135/1/A-Lotta-Heart

An Aggregation of Maladjusted Companions by Jazzyproz (M, 43 chapters, 250k words)

Suffering from a declining solve rate following their returns to DC, Booth and Brennan are forced to attend a team-building convention. Neither of them think they need the workshops or exercises, but it's apparent to everyone around them that if they don't do something, the whole team will soon be falling apart. Can they fix their broken partnership?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11132403/1/An-Aggregation-of-Maladjusted-Companions

An Unexpected Outcome by BB-loverr (M, 5 chapters, 8k)

Before she could do anything Booth had her pinned. He made sure most of his weight was on his elbows so he wasn't crushing her. Someone is after Bones & Booth is protecting her. Set in early season 5

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5590619/1/An-Unexpected-Outcome

Becoming One by nelliesbones (M, 21 chapters, 83k) 

He is handsome, she is beautiful, and somewhere in between… they have made a baby. Warm-hearted and M for a reason. Slightly spoiler-y AN's, the story itself is spoilerfree.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7012130/1/Becoming-One

By Any Means Necessary by Heather Wyatt (M, 45 chapters, 433k, DARKER FIC)

When an overseas trip for Brennan leaves her in terrible danger, Booth does what is necessary to save her - even if what he is forced to do has the potential to drive her away from him forever. Set in season 5, pre-100th; Inspired by the movie "Taken".

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11549096/1/By-Any-Means-Necessary

Can You Save Her, Agent Booth? by Jazzyproz (M, 62 chapters, 464k)

Booth receives a disturbing text in the middle of the night aboout Bones - will he be able to find her in time? Or will he lose her forever? Will this guy really kill her, or is it just a bluff?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7723263/1/Can-You-Save-Her-Agent-Booth

Coitus by willgirl (M, 5 chapters, 4k)

After a date, Brennan finds herself unexpectedly at Booth's door. B&B, Rated M for Smut!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4126515/1/Coitus

First a Dream by Firstadream (M, 17 chapters, 53k)

"I don't want you to move on..." Post 5x16 story. What should've happened between Booth and Brennan.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5900783/1/First-A-Dream

For You, I’d Bleed Myself Dry by coffeehelps (M, 1 chapter, 11k)

The night that Booth took a bullet for Brennan in front of that karaoke stage was forever ingrained in Brennan's mind. Every year, on the anniversary of that night, Brennan experiences those volatile feelings all over again… and they help her realize just how much Booth means to her.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13382298/1/for-you-i-d-bleed-myself-dry

Learning to Fly by Shelly (T, 3 chapters, 8k)

It was never his intention to hurt her. And, yet, she was sitting on the edge of the tub, his bathrobe consuming her small frame, tears cascading down her cheeks. He didn't know how to fix this. Post "The End in the Beginning."

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5231358/1/Learning-to-Fly

Recklessness and Repercussions by Nothing But Bones (M, 7 chapters, 29k)

Booth overhears one of his colleagues crudely reliving an intimate rendezvous with Brennan, and his ill-conceived reaction threatens to end their partnership on a permanent basis, leaving their emotions running dangerously high.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4605409/1/Recklessness-Repercussions

This Secret Dance by ALottaHeart (M, 14 chapters, 43k)

But this secret dance, it goes on. This. This is for them, between them, and they're not ready to share that with the world. Not yet. They've waited too long. Booth/Brennan. Spoilers for 100th episode.

CASE FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6062651/1/This-Secret-Dance

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Bone of Contention by Mochi-girl (M, 15 chapters, 33k)

During a murder investigation, a man from Brennan's past returns, and spins her relationship with Booth in a new direction.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5558981/1/Bone-of-Contention

Case File 2010c by lexeb (M, 1 chapter, 40k)

Booth and Bones face their worst case to date. Will our duo catch their man? Dark themes and imagery. Note rating. Written as an episode. Most characters appear.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5789374/1/Case-File-2010C

Crimson Catastrophe by Dangereux (M, 5 chapters, 24k)

Booth and Brennan work a case that pushes them both to their limits, and into each other's arms.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5929308/1/Crimson-Catastrophe

Fear and Faith by Some1tookmyname (M, 35 chapters, 59k)

When a suspicious note is discovered in an unexpected place, Booth and Brennan fight against an unknown enemy to protect the life they've built together.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7981371/1/Fear-and-Faith

Getting Clean by blc (M, 1 chapter, 11k)

Brennan feels soiled after catching a serial killer. Booth helps her get clean again. Long Angst/Romance

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4621793/1/Getting-Clean

Hearts in Overdrive by Christi Whitson (M, 22 chapters, 136k)

After stumbling upon the suspicious deaths of two men from Brennan's past, she is determined to learn the truth about how they died. Booth and Brennan deal with the emotional fallout of their discoveries as the events of S3 unfold.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12190876/1/Hearts-in-Overdrive

The Effects of the Fan by gatewatcher (T, 1 chapter, 9k)

Someone is stalking Brennan. Will Booth be able to keep her safe? What will the effects be from his attempt?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12568373/1/The-Effects-of-the-Fan

The Gentleman in the Club by TheModernLeper (M, 11 chapters, 10k)

The team tracks a serial killer to a popular night club. With Brennan as bait, can Booth and the team keep her from becoming his next victim?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4764864/1/The-Gentleman-in-the-Club

The Remains in the Rain by forensicsfan (T, 45 chapters, 70k)

What starts out as a trip to Seattle to promote Brennan's latest book turns into much more as secrets surface in flood waters and Booth and Brennan find that a few of their own secrets surface in the process.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3934573/1/The-Remains-in-the-Rain

The Two in One in the Park by ShaViva (T, 17 chapters, 80k)

Brennan and Booth are called in to investigate the remains of two victims arranged to portray a killer's twisted vision of a romantic forever. As they close in on the culprit they find themselves closing in on each other as well. AU early season 6. B&B

AU FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6054481/1/The-Two-in-One-in-the-Park

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All My Yesterdays by cardiogod (M, 36 chapters, 134k)

Booth has been taught since early childhood that a wise man builds his house on rock, not sand, but it isn't until the ground starts shifting under him that he realizes he never learned how to tell them apart.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7801702/1/All-My-Yesterdays

Burdens Which Allow Us To Fly by Mis Chi Evous (T, 1 chapter, 9k)

An alternate universe, where Brennan's parents are both killed, and Russ is in the Army with Booth. A study in how some things are meant to be.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6290511/1/Burdens-Which-Allow-Us-To-Fly

Desert Storm by Alonzo Anonymouse (M, 12 chapters, 13k)

Operation Desert Storm: Sergeant Seeley Booth was captured and tortured. His first assignment back is to stand guard over an Anthropology professor and his grad students, sent to identify bodies. One of those students is Temperance Brennan.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6032735/1/Desert-Storm

Hostile Takeover by F.H. Blake (M, 22 chapters, 70k)

Booth is a billionaire businessman hell-bent on buying Bones' club, The Lab. Bones is hell-bent on keeping Booth as far away from her club as possible. The two worlds collide one night over too many shots, and Booth and Bones soon realise that enemies don't constantly want to rip each other's clothes off.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12538952/1/Hostile-Takeover

Killing Two Birds by dmnky (M, 34 chapters, 171k)

After six months in Maluku, Brennan is summoned to Afghanistan to identify remains from a military helicopter crash and assist Sgt. Maj. Booth in investigating the cause of it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7710873/1/Killing-Two-Birds

The Couple in the Alternate Universe by perscribo (M, 12 chapters, 22k)

Booth and Brennan are not who we know them to be. One is on the right side of the law and the other isn't. Their love story under conflicting circumstances.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12583235/1/The-Couple-in-the-Alternate-Universe

His by Athena Alexandria (T, 40 chapters, 99k)

AU. Post The Critic in the Cabernet. Booth struggles with his decision to let Brennan raise their child alone after she uses his sperm to get pregnant.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6660822/1/His

The Opportunity by BtrixMcG (M, 8 chapters, 49k)

AU: Seeley Booth is the CEO of a prominent communications company and one of the most powerful men in the industry. Temperance Brennan is a brilliant young analyst who comes into his employ and gets far more than she bargained for.

COLLEGE/HIGH SCHOOL AU FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6582371/1/The-Opportunity

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Follow You Down by ButterflyWhisperer (T, 26 chapters, 85k)

The year is 1989 and our favorite group of crime fighters meet 16 years prior to 2005. Temperance Brennan is a lonely foster kid that just moved to D.C while Seeley Booth is battling demons from his past. What happens when this unlikely pair of teenagers & their friends end up trying to solve a murder their favorite teacher was framed for? And will love blossom?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10640406/1/Follow-You-Down

Healing Two Souls by cmol8806 (M, 43 chapters, 146k)

Temperance Brennan is almost eighteen and entering her last foster home after barely surviving her last one. Seeley Booth is just returned from war, with new nightmares. What happens when they meet?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6867582/1/Healing-Two-Souls

Purak: A Less Cheesy Way of Saying You Complete Me by boothaddict77 (T, 35 chapters, 163k)

14-year-old Tempe Brennan, recently abandoned by her parents, moves into a new home with her brother and his friend. Of course, the young man they will be sharing a roof with is none other than Seeley Booth.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7764189/1/Purak-A-Less-Cheesy-Way-of-Saying-You-Complete-Me

White Knight by LordLanceahlot (M, 17 chapters, 52k)

Temperance 'I-don't-know-what-that-means' Brennan. At a fraternity party. Drinking heavily and being mauled by some punk frat boys. Booth scowled at the thought. His freaking forensics tutor. Time to go play white knight.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5785872/1/White-Knight

Beginning of Forever by JulesSC (M, 37 chapters, 301k)

Chicago, 1988. Tempe, 14 year old foster child. Seeley, 16 year old jaded junior. Can these two help each other and change each other's lives?

SMUT HEAVY FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6346762/1/Beginning-of-Forever

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Any Way She Wants It by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 7 chapters, 33k)

When Booth's prodding makes Brennan snap and reveal the extent of her frustrations, he offers to help her out. He thinks, he can handle it, but nothing is ever that simple.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6343873/1/Any-Way-She-Wants-It

Bad Excuses by Pereybere (M, 4 chapters, 7k)

Brennan and Booth are using work stress as an excuse to get naughty.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4134057/1/Bad-Excuses

Breaking All The Rules Tonight by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 25 chapters, 57k)

Brennan tells Booth she has a sex date and he doesn't take it very well. He's determined to show her why she should be his.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5303079/1/Breaking-all-the-Rules-Tonight

Silent Surrender by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 25 chapters, 27k)

Brennan shows up at Booth's house needing only one thing: him. One silent night could never be enough but it's months later and they still find themselves going crazy at night and pretending during the day. How much longer can they keep silent?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5398682/1/Silent-Surrender

Exercise in Self Restraint by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 8 chapters, 30k)

B&B are in an established relationship and Brennan has a naughty proposal for Booth which involves tons of frustration.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5617523/1/Exercise-in-Self-Restraint

Fighting Words by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 26 chapters, 71k)

Collection of one-shots. Some heated words, an argument, and tons of B/B hotness.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5448139/1/Fighting-Words

Hours by Dispatch22705 (M, 25 chapters, 47k)

A look at 24 different sexy times between Booth and Brennan. One post for every hour.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7506156/1/Hours

Colors by Dispatch22705 (M, 12 chapters, 50k)

12 separate one shots: each one based on a color idea.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5845810/1/Colors

Rooftops and Invitations by Space77 (M, 5 chapters, 17k)

You can’t stop thinking about him, you can’t stop looking at him. So do something about it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4516879/1/Rooftops-and-Invitations

Talk to Me by SSJL (M, 31 chapters, 118k)

All he wanted was a moment of honesty from her. All she wanted was to be able to give him this.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3458085/1/Talk-to-Me

Morning, Nooner and Night by Dispatch22705 (M, 1 chapter, 9k)

A 'one shot' so to speak, of a few firsts between Booth and Brennan. He made love to her in the morning, had sex with her at noon and broke a few laws with her at night.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7239541/1/Morning-Nooner-and-Night

Only Between Us by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 100 chapters, 142k)

Collection of one-shots, some really short, others longer. Some funny, some angsty, some sweet. But ALL should be steamy/sexy/sweet. ALL revolving around B/B and their smoking hot dynamic.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5329849/1/Only-Between-Us

Alphabet by OrigamiFlower (M, 15 chapters, 22k)

A whole load of one shots of Booth and Brennan dedicated to the Alphabet.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6088489/1/Alphabet

Alphabet Recurrences by Dr Madness (M, 25 chapters, 51k)

The Alphabet means a lot to Booth and Brennan. It captures every single romantic, hot, steamy and dirty moment between them.

ONE-SHOT FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5666368/1/Alphabet-recurrences

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A Family Business by nelliesbones (M, 14 chapters, 20k)

A story of one-shots and scenes around the beautiful and highly anticipated season seven of Bones.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7449862/1/A-Family-Business

An Epic Before Bed by eitoph (T, 1 chapter, 3k)

She's written this life and she's lived this life, and now she knows which one she prefers. 4.26/6.22/6.23 and how they all fit together.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7037787/1/An-Epic-Before-Bed

Anything by CupcakeBean (M, 1 chapter, 3k)

“I’ve flown across the country, pulled strings, broken the law, risked my career, risked my life, *lost* my life - all for her." Booth and Brennan realize how much they mean to each other and give in to their attraction.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4961754/1/Anything

Don’t Mess With Booth by Aisho9 (T, 1 chapter, 2k)

Caught in the middle of someone else's battle, Brennan is hurt. The perp is in hot water enough, but now he's got a pissed off Booth to deal with, too.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5869658/1/Don-t-Mess-With-The-Booth

Ferocious Love by rhyme time (M, 1 chapter, 1k)

Booth is feeling possessive of his wife.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9789714/1/Ferocious-Love

Lies and Life by Tadpole24 (T, 1 chapter, 1k)

“I’m not this person who can’t tell if it’s reality or fantasy and I’m not this person who shows up on someone’s door step, crying at 3 am. This is something Bren would do, not something Bones would.”

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5693685/1/Lies-and-Life

Pray for George who offends Booth and Brennan by Hannah Taylor1 (M, 1 chapter, 6k)

A cautionary tale for those who would cross Booth and his lady love.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5890044/1/Pray-for-George-who-offends-Booth-and-Brennan

The Finally in the Holding by carol204 (M, 1 chapter, 5k)

Booth appears in Brennan's house on a rainy night with unresolved issues. She's pushed him too far and now they've reached their breaking point.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6630976/1/The-Finally-to-the-Holding

The Standard by RositaLG (M, 1 chapter, 1k)

"Tell me again." He said, his voice strained with anger and his jaw ticking in restraint. "Tell me that you don't need me."

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7421321/1/The-Standard

We Belong Together by Dispatch22705 (M, 1 chapter, 5k)

While Booth is away, Brennan goes to a crime scene. Booth is furious when he finds out. When he calls her on it, it's in a place he wouldn't have expected, but is all so familiar to both of them. Angsty, angry sex but with a resolved B&B ending in bed

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5846725/1/We-Belong-Together

You With Me by mia101 (M, 1 chapter, 3k)

Takes place after Booth's fight in Vegas. Brennan is tending his injuries and recalling how it felt to watch him fight, wondering what it would be like if she were the kind of woman she's been pretending to be.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4224265/1/You-With-Me

[lunaajade]

Everything You Need to Know about “Shadow and Bone” on Netflix (*UPDATED: POSSIBLE LANGUAGE OF THORNS ADAPTATION INFO)

 Since it’s recently been confirmed that we’d be getting S&B content in a few days (finally!), I thought I’d compile and summarize as much info as I could to refresh everyone’s memories! Please spread the word/share this post to those who aren’t up to date! (I’ve seen some people online who are worried about how it’s going to turn out, and I’d like to be able to hopefully reassure those people)

Now, there’s a LOT of stuff, so there’s always the chance I missed/forgot something. This post will be split up into categories based on type of info, so here we go! I went back and listened to/watched both of the big live streams (NYCC and the S&B Charity Competition), went on the Grishaverse Reddit, etc. to find as much (extra/bonus) stuff as I could. (If I missed anything/got something wrong, please feel free to leave a comment!)

Update: A lot of people have been asking where it was confirmed we were getting content soon. I found out from one of the update accounts I follow.

Thanks for reading, everyone!

General/Key Info About the Show

-This first season will be adapting both “Shadow and Bone” and what has been dubbed a “Book 0″ (most likely meaning prequel/backstory/set-up) for “Six of Crows” -In relation to the above point, the timelines are being brought together for the show. (Normally in the books, the two series are set two years apart)(We don’t know how exactly or what this means for the story, but I have a really interesting theory that I thought up in relation to this, message me if you’d like to hear it.) -Leigh acknowledges and understands that some of us have doubts and are worried about the show, but she has publicly assured us (numerous times) of how much she loves the show and cast, how well she thinks the crew/writers did in bringing the Grishaverse to life, etc. See a later point below in the Facts/Tidbits section -The first season will have 8, one-hour long episodes -Alina has been made half Shu (half Asian) for the show! Leigh stated that was decided on after she and Eric had a lengthy discussion on Alina’s character. -The main cast (as in confirmed to be in all episodes) is comprised of Jessie Mei Li (as Alina), Archie Renaux (as Mal), Ben Barnes (as the Darkling), Freddy Carter (as Kaz), Amita Suman (as Inej), and Kit Young (as Jesper) -Wylan and Nikolai are NOT in the first season. (Nikolai didn’t appear until the second book, and Leigh confirmed that at this point in the story, the Crows had not met Wylan yet.) -Other cast members include Danielle Galligan (as Nina), Calahan Skogman (as Matthias), Daisy Head (as Genya), Sujaya Dasgupta (as Zoya), Luke Pasqualino (as David), Julian Kostov (as Fedyor), Simon Sears (as Ivan), Zoe Wanamaker (as Baghra), and more! -The Darkling will also be called “General Kirigan” in the show. From what we know, The Darkling will be the “enemy” to Ravka (so in essence, General Kirigan is his alias/fake persona (what he’ll most likely be referred to for most of the show), and no one knows that he’s actually their enemy. (Meaning it’ll most likely a super big moment when they learn their general was actually the Darkling in disguise)). -The show was shot on location in Budapest, Hungary. (And additional filming took place this past fall in Vancouver) -In order, the 8 episodes are titled the following: “A Searing Burst of Light”, “We’re All Someone’s Monster”, “The Making at the Heart of the World”, “Otkazat’sya”, “Show Me Who You Are”, “The Heart is An Arrow”, “The Unsea”, & “No Mourners”.

Other (Fun) Facts/Tidbits About the Show

-Upon seeing Jessie’s audition, Leigh loved her audition/portrayal of Alina so much that she apparently stated that she wanted her to play Alina or she’d be out of the project. She was sent five auditions to watch, Jessie’s was the third, and she said she didn’t bother watching the rest of them. -Leigh stated that she and Eric Heisserer (the creator of the show) said they were on the same page from the first meeting. All other past meetings with producers and companies about possible adaptations had left her with a bad feeling, but she said they’d had the same ideas about inclusion, story, staff, etc. She said she’s loved the respect he’s shown towards the work (and, in a way, to us the fans) -Netflix apparently also has the rights to adapt “The Language of Thorns” , though we’ve gotten no info on that adaptation yet. (UPDATE: I just watched a Leigh Bardugo event from Feb 2019 (a few weeks after the show was first announced, I think): As of  that day, she said that she thought that they were going to use LoT more for "texture” (IMO that might mean worldbuilding?) in the show. And I don’t know if she was talking about LoT specifically because she was very vague, but she said that there were certain things in the show that she thinks readers will be really excited about. Again, this was over a year ago, back when they were still in pre-production and stuff, so don’t take my word for it. Besides this, I couldn’t find anything else relating to a possible LoT adaptation. Maybe they’ll have the stories from LoT appear as actual folk tales told in the show, and that’s the “adaptation”? IDK. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpHnw8Ygw5c&t=1906s)) -Leigh is an exec. producer on the show! I’m no expert, so I don’t know how much say/power she had in the process, but she definitely had some. -There is a RAVKAN edition of the “Shadow and Bone” book that Leigh says makes a cameo in the show! -Jesper’s guns had custom etchings done on them by a Hungarian antique gunsmith! (And they were so good that Leigh and Eric said that it looked like it belonged in a museum--they were also described to be quite heavy!) -Eric Heisserer is the creator of the show, he is an award-winning writer, well known for “Arrival”, “Bird Box”, and more. (If I remember correctly, Leigh said that he’d reached out to her about making the show!) -A DeKappel painting (maybe the one owned by Van Eck?) was confirmed to be in the pilot episode. -Pekka Rollins and Tante Heleen have been confirmed to be in the first season, but their casting has (up to this point) not yet been revealed. -Bo Yul-Bayur is confirmed to be in the show! (Though Kuwei has not) -Leigh will have  a cameo in (I think) Episode 5! She will be wearing a Materialki kefta and will be opening a door, if I remember correctly. -A lot of the crew was also extremely passionate about the project and fans of the books -The “Lives of Saints” book that was published in October is an actual book/prop that is appearing in the show! -I’m personally fine with Mal, but Leigh says that Archie is going to change everyone’s minds with his portrayal! -The costume designer for the show is Wendy Partridge, known for her work on “Thor: The Dark World”, “Pompeii”, and more!  -The composer for the show is Joe Trapanese, known for composing for “The Greatest Showman”, “Straight Outta Compton”, “Lady and the Tramp”, and more! At the NYCC Grishaverse panel, they revealed a little bit of the score (”Grisha Theme”): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFxIEbsHKJA 

Fun Cast/On Set Stories/Facts

-The cast all loves each other, and are all extremely passionate about this show, which is great! (Leigh said that on her second visit to the set, she heard them singing together) -Leigh says that Ben Barnes once snuck up behind her on her first day on set and scared her by whispering “Fine, make me your villain” -Freddy’s favorite Grishaverse book is “Six of Crows”, but most specifically the first line of chapter 2 (”Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason.”) -Jessie would apparently come to set on some of her days off to support the cast and crew! -Sujaya has stated that her favorite Grishaverse character is Nikolai! (#Zoyalai) -Freddy has become famous/popular with the fandom, one of the reasons being because he often comments on posts/live streams asking something along the lines of “What was it like working with Freddy Carter? xoxo” -Danielle loves Nina and her journey in “King of Scars” -According to a Tweet, Freddy and Leigh said that there had been a scene with “a very pesky gate”--Freddy said that it “wouldn’t be proper to tweet the expletives [he] used that day” and that he thinks he “scarred” Amita and Eric. -Amita’s favorite thing about Inej is her silence, and her favorite Grishaverse book is “Six of Crows” (as of May, where we learned this during a live-stream, she said she’s read it three times and listened to the audiobook twice.) -There was a waffle truck on set on the last day of shooting! -Calahan says that if he could play any other Grishaverse character, he’d want to play Nikolai! -While she did work with the trainer to get more physically fit, Amita learned most of her knife techniques by herself! -Leigh said she cried a lot while on set! (She said there was one scene they were shooting that she has a very clear, vivid memory of writing many years back--based on the context of which she was talking about it, if I had to guess, I’d guess she’s describing the Winter Fete.) -Leigh also said that on one of her first days on set, it was funny/weird to see all the extras in First Army uniforms chilling on their phones, drinking coffee, etc. -One of Calahan’s favorite character dynamics in the books is the dynamic between Kaz and Matthias -There was a moment where Amita was fully in costume and doing amazing, graceful knife work, only to trip and fall when she’d finished. -Amita and Jessie and Sujaya were best friends on set. -Sujaya loved everything about playing Zoya. (Especially her confidence) -Leigh says one of her favorite props was Kaz’s cane, especially because of what it meant to her and the story. -If he could be any Grisha order, Calahan says he’d want to be a Corporalki -Calahan loves Matthias’s journey/arc. -Kit’s favorite Grishaverse book is “Crooked Kingdom”!

Links

-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X65iI1YXrbU (NYCC Grishaverse Panel) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHou5rVs6o0 (S&B Talent Show Charity Live Stream ft. the S&B Cast!--the IG video got taken down because Archie deleted his IG account and switched to a new one) -https://www.netflix.com/title/80236319 (”Shadow and Bone” on Netflix!) -https://twitter.com/shadowandbone_ (Official “Shadow and Bone” Twitter!) -https://www.instagram.com/shadowandbone/?hl=en (Official “Shadow and Bone” Instagram!) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRh-Pmbynww (Annoucement made by cast when filming wrapped! (can be found on the social media accounts, but here’s a link to YT)) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bpY8uLtyB4 (A S&B Cast Crack video by HeartPhantom--it highlights a lot of the inside jokes and memes that we’ve gotten to witness among the cast, and also just generally shows off how hilariously chaotic everyone is (this cast is the definition of chaotic good, lol))

[kakashiswilloffire]

STEAM, not STEM

ao3

word count: 1.6k

kabuto x sai, college au, enemies to lovers ish, same age au

this is my first server collab with @konoblog-simps! the prompt was college au for august, and you can see the rest of the multifandom fics and artwork here!

***

As a biochemistry major focused on pharmaceuticals with a five year plan included finishing this undergrad degree, moving across the country for a masters in organic chemistry, then likely moving again for a doctorate in organic, along with four internships along the way, so that he could become a renowned creator of antianxiety medications, he was pretty confident in his knowledge. There was nothing a chemistry professor could ask that he couldn’t answer. Calculus came to him as a breeze. His psychology courses presented absolutely no challenge to him. Statistics, courses in professionalism and building his portfolio, and meetings with potential employers never caused him to break a sweat.

This fucking art class might kill him, though.

He had resented for years that humanities courses were required in science degree paths. It was his junior year and he had fought with his advisor for the past four semesters before finally giving in and agreeing to take a class on charcoal sketching. There was no way he would be caught dead in the hugely popular pottery class taught by the blond professor with tattoos of mouths on the back of his hands. Nor would he voluntarily take any basic introductory course in drawing or painting.

That was how he found himself in an advanced charcoal techniques course, prepared to blow through a handful of drawings and easily earn high marks.

However, in a class size of eight, he was drawing attention for the wrong reasons.

To start, the others all seemed to know each other from previous courses, which immediately made him the outsider. To make matters worse, the professor greatly preferred their work to his own. A part of him couldn’t blame the man who insisted he be called Tenzo rather than by any title or honorific. His drawings were definitely in a different style to the rest of the class, and it was a style that didn’t seem to be changing or improving as the weeks passed.

It wouldn’t be so frustrating if it wasn’t the first thing he had ever tried that was proving to be a struggle. As if that wasn’t enough to deal with, the asshole in the front row seemed to take to charcoal like breathing.

On the first day, when Tenzo had gone over the syllabus, he had also made them all introduce themselves and play a get to know you game. They all pretended that it wasn’t for Kabuto’s benefit. Fu and Torune had begun, making a point of making physical contact with each other the whole time they spoke, though he had never seen Torune take off his gloves. The had tuned most of the others out as they spoke, noting Shin seemed decent enough, though he’d prefer if the man stopped coughing for more than a moment. What grated him to no end was the final person to speak.

Sai.

He spoke with a fake smile plastered across his face, eyes closed and voice dripping with confidence. He listed his credentials off without any thought, and it infuriated him that the list of accomplishments and certifications rivaled the length of his own. Sai listed his specialty in art as black and white realism, and his preferred medium as painting, though he was looking forward to learning more about charcoal. From there, he had turned to Kabuto with that same overly-relaxed smile and offered:

“Your turn, flash cards.”

The familiarity rubbed him the wrong way and he had been irritated with him ever since. What made it worse was that Sai was actually really good in the course. He hadn’t been lying about his skill in realism—anything he rendered looked like it was about to run off the page. He seemed to prefer birds, in all species, but every individual feather breathed and flowed and he never got the black dust accidentally smudged on his paper. In fact, he never got the dust anywhere. Kabuto always left the class covered in black smears on his skin, clothing, and bag, and there would always be some hidden patch of charcoal that he never found until he showered that night.

It infuriated him to no end that this shallow jerk who modelled his personality around whoever he was with was also, genuinely, so much better than him at this class that he desperately needed to pass.

Midterm grades had come back the other day and a vein had nearly popped out of his forehead when he saw the disastrously low score. Tenzo had noted that he saw improvement between this and where Kabuto had began the class, but it was still not on level with the rest of the class and where he would need to be in preparation for the next level pastels course. Apparently, it didn’t matter that he wouldn’t be taking the next level course. If he didn’t pass this course with a reasonably high grade, his scholarship sponsor, Orochimaru, would be furious. Risking the scholarship not being renewed meant risking the entire five year plan, and for that—

He’d have to suck it up.

“Hey, Sai?” he asked, forcing himself to keep his tone level. Admitting weakness was not his strength and he had no intention of making this a habit.

The crop top wearer glanced up from the hyper-realistic sheet of mice that he was effortlessly rendering. “Ah, Kabuto,” he said, the same smile from before falling across his face. “Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it?”

He gritted his teeth, then forced his jaw to relax. “The rain we’ve had all week? Sure, Sai.” He pulled up a stool, settling in to the easel next to him. “I wanted to ask you a question.”

Sai nodded, not pausing his movement as he gave life to a mouse’s tail. “My answer is yes.”

Kabuto blinked. Was asking for help really this simple? “You’re willing to tutor me for the final?”

That caused Sai to hesitate, tilting his head slightly to the side. After a beat, he replied “I suppose I could do that. You appear to be capable of learning how to improve your questionable techniques.”

Ignoring the dig, he pressed on. “I would appreciate that. Tenzo said that my linework is improving but my shading is still not where it needs to be. Something about being more mindful of my light sources.”

“I agree with his analysis,” Sai said, continuing on his sketch. “Your grasp of line weight is abysmal, which is a step up from your initial attempt, which was horrific. Your shading on our last assignment, the brickwork, was essentially nonexistent. All of your pieces so far have had at least four light sources that have no apparent source. It’s clear from your work that you have no regard for art and no passion for creation at all.”

He delivered the critique without halting a single graceful stroke on his canvas. There was no malice in his tone, and he said the words almost pleasantly, despite the cutting content.

“I am willing to teach you more technique and skill so that Tenzo is able to assign you a passing grade in this course. However, I do not believe you are capable of being an artist or creating anything of value in the world as you currently are.”

Kabuto froze. He had only meant to ask for a few tips, not to be dragged for all he was worth in this godforsaken art course. How dare this arrogant prick think he was incapable of creation?

He gripped his charcoal stick so tightly in his fist that it crumbled. “Listen, inky. Just because I’m focused in science doesn’t mean I can’t create anything meaningful. My goal is to be a pharmaceutical chemist, to create medications to change people’s lives. Just because I can’t draw some fucking—I don’t know, a fucking rat or a bowl of fruit or whatever, doesn’t make you better than me. So fuck off with that.”

Sai smirked, his eyes closing in his familiar pattern. “I never implied anything about our worth relative to each other. But I do think that it’s cute that you’re concerned about appearing to be less than me. That will create an excellent motivation for self-improvement for both of us in our relationship.”

The light caught Kabuto’s glasses, a white reflection flashing across the lenses. “We don’t have a relationship.”

Finally, Sai put his rectangle of charcoal down on the easel and sat up. “Do we not? What was the intent of your original question to me?”

Kabuto spluttered. “What do you mean? I came up and asked if you’d help me with the final and you said yes, then you were an ass.”

It was now Sai’s turn to blink. “You said that you had a question for me. I replied that my answer was yes. As a result, we are now boyfriends.” He wiped his fingers on a handkerchief hanging on the corner of his easel. “Was your question you intended to ask me not if I would be interested in a romantic relationship with you?”

He flushed a deep red. Sai was attractive, that was undeniable, but that was not how this encounter was meant to go. Romance was not in the five year plan. “I—”

“Just do it,” sighed Tenzo, sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. “For the love of God, both of you, stop staring at each other and bickering and just go out, would you?”

Sai smiled, the classic closed-eye smile that looked more genuine each time he did it. “Thank you, Tenzo.”

Kabuto was confused, but in order to learn the skills he needed to pass this class, he’d need to go along with the game. Without another word, he reached out and took Sai’s hand. Might as well give it a shot, right?

[hoodwinkd1]

Your Eyes Whispered Ch 11-13

Ch 8 - 10 here. Ch 14 here.

Chapter 11: morning, her place

Eris jumped out of sleep the next morning, waking suddenly to the pressure of someone attempting to break down his wards. His body tensed immediately, an instinctual growl rising in his throat at the perceived threat. His mind reacted a moment later, recognizing the scent currently trying to break down the front door.

“RHIANNON HARMONY OPEN THE DAMN DOOR.” Interesting. Eris had made it this far without ever asking Rhia for her last name.

He waved a hand, removing the additional wards he had placed on the house last night. Grabbing his tunic from the chair and throwing it over his head, Eris strode downstairs just in time to watch Sofine burst into the front room.

She gave him such a ferocious glare that he froze in place without meaning to. “I suppose you’re the reason Rhia left town mysteriously for two days?”

“I, uh, yes.” Eris really wasn’t used to anyone scolding him. “Rhia helped me out with a...situation at the palace. Coffee?”

He vaguely remembered Rhia owed him a thought from last night. All this relaxation and peace had done some damage on his sharp, cunning mind.

Sofine’s eyes widened momentarily. Whether she was surprised at the gesture or suddenly remembering who she was scolding, her tone calmed considerably. “She keeps the beans above the stove, if you didn’t know.”

Eris nodded, accepting the small olive branch she offered. He lit the front burner with a flick of his pointer finger while filling the kettle under the tap with a flex of his other hand. The movements came quickly, naturally, and some of the tension left his body at the small expulsions of magic.

Quick footsteps skittered to a stop at the bottom of the stairs as the love of his life took in the scene in front of her. Shit. Eris’ thoughts had become pathetic and obsessive without his permission. He would have scowled if the sight of Rhia treading into the kitchen nervously hadn’t been so damn endearing.

“Shit, Sofi, I’m sorry.” Rhia embraced her friend tightly. “I didn’t mean to leave so abruptly; you must have been so worried.”

Sofine laughed softly, kissing the top of her head. “Oh I was very calm. Other than yelling at the High Lord first thing this morning.”

“I’m sure he deserved it,” Rhia hummed. She then made her way towards Eris, who finished steeping the beans at exactly the right second, handing her a steaming cup of coffee as she reached him. “What did you do?”

“Other than drag you into my mess?” Eris inquired, repressing the bolt of guilt that shot through him at the idea of Rhia in danger at the palace. “I placed additional wards up last night.” He looked over her head at Sofine. “I’ll make sure to include you in them next time.”

Rhia raised an eyebrow. “Who gave you permission to place them in the first place?”

Eris noted her light tone and twinkling eyes. “You tried to break into the most heavily guarded building in the Autumn Court yesterday and branded yourself as an enemy to the crown. What if someone tries to arrest you for that again?”

“Rhia,” Sofine gasped. “You tried to break into the palace?” Swiveling her glare to Eris, she demanded: “Why didn’t you let her in?”

At least she was scolding them both now. Eris held his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t know she was there!”

“And I didn’t try to break in, I actually did break in,” Rhia grumbled. “You should really upgrade the security on the eastern external wall.”

Sofine huffed. “Will you both disagree on every little detail? I want the full story.” She sat herself down at the kitchen table, making a big show of getting comfortably situated. “I have time.”

Eris sensed that now would be a lovely time to retreat and leave Rhia to her own devices. “I have to return to the palace and the horrors of bureaucracy.” He leaned forward, giving Rhia half a second to adjust to his closeness, before placing a chaste kiss on her lips. Her mouth upturned into a small smile, one he wished he could spend hours exploring. “I’ll come back when I can, good?”

“Very good,” she replied. “I expect a full report of our Court’s political situation when you return.”

Eris sighed dramatically. “If you insist.” He waved to Sofine. “I hope you won’t be too disappointed in my abilities after hearing the full story.”

“To be determined.” Her face flushed lightly, a female still unused to the High Lord’s presence, but he only felt gratitude at her attempts to treat him as normal as possible.

Eris blinked and appeared in his chambers, taking a minute to change his clothing and wash his face. He uttered some choice words at the pile of paperwork littering his desk, rifling through the to-do lists, save-the-dates, business contracts, and personal correspondences to see if any of it required his immediate attention.

One of his spies, Jyn, had sent him a list of potential candidates to fill the vacant adviser roles that Eris skimmed quickly. He had a half-baked plan forming in his mind to let people vote on the Fae listed on the sheet, maybe even ensuring that each region had specific representation. Gerwin had helped him draft a few new pieces of legislation that Eris would announce during the Autumnal Equinox ball, so one more shouldn’t cause any additional havoc.

“Fuck,” Eris swore again, remembering that his Court’s largest annual celebration was only a fortnight away and he had no idea what the hell was going on with the event.

He already wanted to check on his mother and Liang would know the most about the upcoming celebrations. Two birds, one awkward acknowledgement that they shared a bedroom.

Eris walked down the corridor, stopping to chat with one of the servants to make sure everyone on staff last night had received additional pay for working through an attempted coup. The slender male named Yuri had confirmed that the throne room was completely cleaned of any body parts and that to his knowledge, everyone had gotten the money before heading home.

The Lady of the Autumn Court lived in a different wing of the palace than her husband and sons had, a different wing than where Eris now lived basically alone. As he approached the white double doors, he ignored the urge to open the door automatically and knocked instead.

“Yes?” His mother’s tone was curious and wary, until she laid eyes on him. “Oh, darling! Come in, come in.”

Eris followed her inside, observing how much lighter and joyful she seemed in the glow of day. Her decorations had always used softer colors and more patterns than typical Autumn design; even the gold that adorned the soft blue curtains looked brighter than the gold that detailed his traditional red decor.

“How are you?” he inquired. “Did the healers take a look at you last night?”

She herded him over to the seating area. “Yes, and you have nothing to worry about. I wasn’t harmed by the Night Court.” Eris let out a deep exhale. He hadn’t known how to delicately ask what she’d experienced in captivity, and her warm gaze confirmed that she hadn’t been tortured. “I might not be feared or even respected by the other Courts, but Keir knows exactly who my allies are. And who my family is.”

“If Rhysand hadn’t finally taken care of the trash ruining his terrority, there would have been a list of us ready to kill Keir for him,” Liang grumbled, joining them from the bedroom. “Eris.”

He returned her nod. “Thank you for insisting on the healers.” Eris turned his body to face her more directly. “I actually had a question for you, as well. The Autumnal Ball is supposed to be in two weeks and I--”

“Hadn’t planned anything for it?” Liang teased. “Not to worry. The High Lord typically shows little to no interest in the event planning.” Her words had a bitter edge to them, and Eris knew he wasn’t the High Lord she spoke of. “I can send details to your rooms later today for your approval.”

Eris held his hands up. “I trust your judgement much more than my own. I would be interested in seeing the plans, though, just for my own knowledge.”

“Of course. I’ll at least want your opinion on the guest list, make sure I didn't’ miss anyone important.” Liang sat next to his mother, who raised an eyebrow.

“Is there anyone she wouldn’t have thought to invite, darling?” she asked innocently. “Do you have any new friends we don’t know about?”

Her words made him feel like an adolescent. “You know I don’t have friends. But I might send invitations to the other High Lords; see if they’d like to send a delegation.”

“Just let me or my assistant know if anyone needs to be seated separately to avoid a fight,” Liang offered. “We have over a thousand guests confirmed, so a few more won’t require much adjustment.”

Eris’ eyes bulged out of his head. “A thousand? Where did you find that many fucking people?”

“Language,” his mother admonished. “And we’ve always had a large attendance, though never quite this large.” She grinned at him. “I believe the host might be a bit more popular this year than in previous years.”

He fell into his thoughts as the two females ordered tea and went through some of the other details with him over the next hour. The annual ball was one of the only events that sent out a certain number of tickets to each regional capital, instead of inviting specific Fae individually. During Beron’s reign, only the required attendees who sat in governing roles showed up, but almost all of the optional invitations had been reserved this year with family members, friends, and colleagues. Eris hoped that meant his Court felt more comfortable with him than his father, and not that they all wanted a front-row seat to his inevitable failure or demise.

Liang sent him off with a few blank invitations, spelled to deliver themselves immediately after being addressed. He stopped by his rooms and scrawled out all the High Lords’ names, except for the Night Court’s which he addressed to Carina. She probably wouldn’t throw his letter directly in the fire. He also added a personal note, letting her know that he still owed her a very fancy dress for her help in finding his mother, offering to send his best tailor her measurements if she wanted to call in that deal.

Either through a simple mistake or a stroke of ingenuity, Liang had handed him 7 invitations, leaving Eris an extra blank one. Inspiration hit him like a brick. Rhia.

Would she want to come? See him in his role? Watch the entire fucking island scrutinize him? Normally, Eris would have let his thoughts swirl in a self-deprecating river until he’d talked himself out of the idea. He chose to stop himself this time, however, and practice healthy communication by just asking her.

Would they be able to hide their bond at such a large event? Any daemati would know, if they didn’t maintain their mental shields perfectly the entire time. The thought of hiding his feelings for Rhia, avoiding her gaze and looking at anyone else when perfection was right in front of him, drew a low growl from his lips. For her safety, though, he would do anything. Even if acting like he didn’t care felt so uniquely miserable.

Carina’s response drew him out of his thoughts. Cauldron, he was getting irrationally dismal in his old age. Maybe that was a side effect of patricide.

He snorted internally at the bleak joke.

Of course I’ll be there, idiot. Bryce is coming too. Something about how I never have any regard for my own safety blah blah blah. I’ve attached detailed instructions for your tailor, and I’ll be bringing a backup gown in case it’s not up to my standard. I have a reputation to uphold.

Eris let relief wash over him that he’d have at least one ally present. At the mention of Carina’s mate, he considered asking her for help with the whole mess of emotions that he went through daily. At the very least, she was one of the very few people in Prythian who understood the dangers of power, the sharpness of panic that came with putting loved ones in danger from enemies that normally wouldn’t spare them a second glance.

Hours of meetings and too many decisions stood between Eris and sitting in his favorite chair in a too-small kitchen. He gave himself one minute to hope that the violent chapters of his life had closed permanently, gave himself one minute to dream of what happiness and peace might actually look like, before re-entering his role as High Lord.

Chapter 12: spent their whole lives trying to put it into words

One small TW for abuse (past, nothing graphic). I've put the usually XXX before and after, but as always please let me know if I can make these warnings better and if you want a summary of that section.

“Hold that position. Yes! Exactly like that!” Rhia gasped. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement

Her student’s tiny arms began to tremble slightly at the exertion. Aliar’s face remained focused, however, as he used his leg muscles to push the wave of water higher and higher, until it touched the ceiling.

He dropped it suddenly. “Was that good?”

Rhia grinned. “That was wonderful . Did you see how much higher you raised it using your entire body instead of just your arms?”

He nodded quickly, a slow smile building on his face. Much quieter than the other two students he trained with, Aliar’s smile was equivalent to jumping with joy.

“Go grab some water, then you all can stretch and go home.” Rhia herded the trio of younglings toward the counter dividing the studio and her kitchen, where she always laid out a pitcher and cups. Raquel immediately stole Aliar’s attention, bestowing compliments and advice all in the same breath, at a speed too fast for anyone to follow along. They had a few more weeks before they would master water, all three of them did, but had made good progress nonetheless.

Rhia shuffled past Leyora carefully, from where the female had begun stretching in the most inconvenient spot, towards the dining room table. She eyed the blank parchment sitting there. The memory of the last time she had been waiting for a message from Eris while teaching this same trio hurt to recall, but she shook off any negative thoughts. Today had been good, her sleep undisturbed and her breathing easy.

It’s only been a day, she chided herself mentally. Give him time to respond, you needy wench.

“What is that?” Raquel demanded. Rhia barely stopped herself from jumping at their voice and shoved her hand away from the parchment. “Are you being sneaky with something?”

“What?” Rhia replied. “I’m an adult. I don’t have to sneak anything.”

Leyora raised her eyebrows. “Sounds like something a sneaky person would say.” Alair humphed in agreement.

“You’re all menaces. Raquel, finish your water.” Children could be eerily perceptive when they wanted to, usually when adults didn’t want them to.

As they grabbed their coats and ambled out, weather already turning gloomy before the Solstice, Rhia watched them go with a strange bittersweet feeling. Would she continue teaching if she became Lady--

Shit. That was not a road she had ever gone down and certainly didn’t need to go down. As if she would ever officially court Eris, nonetheless marry him when they hadn’t done anything more than kissing yet. When they still hadn’t talked through their pasts, their hopes, their darknesses.

Still, the thought lingered.

Rhia busied herself with making dinner as the sun set, drawing graceful golden designs on the walls. She sensed Sofine coming up to her door, grabbing two wine glasses as the Fae burst into the room.

“You read my mind,” she purred. Her gaze turned flirtatious as she noticed the wine Rhia had selected. “Feeling fancy tonight, are we? Expecting special guests?”

Rhia clicked her tongue. “You’re special enough for a nice bottle of wine. Sit, sit.”

Telling Sofi the full story, including how the mating bond had shared the agony of Eris’ stab wound, hadn’t been fun. Rhia had let her friend scold her, had let Sofi get out all of the frustration and worry she felt. Of course they both hoped that being Eris’ mate wouldn’t put Rhia in harm again, but the ordeal had created an entirely new set of anxieties.

So tonight, they stuck to pleasant topics. Rhia’s students, Sofine’s attempts to make a new kind of bread (Rhia secretly wondered how one could create a new kind of bread, but didn’t question it). The roasted vegetables turned out perfectly, a lucky feat when one’s best friend could cook better than anyone for miles.

And of course, the parchment glowed at exactly the wrong moment when Rhia had turned her back to bring the dishes to the sink. She heard Sofi’s gasp and whipped her head around, groaning when she saw her reading whatever message Eris had just sent.

“I’m a bit scandalized.” Sofi winked. “Is he always this dirty?”

Rhia gaped. “What the fuck? Give me that!” She moved at the speed of light, snatching the paper.

May I stop by tonight?

“Ugh, you’re such a bitch,” Rhia grumbled.

Sofine shrugged. “You should’ve seen your face. Maybe you wanted it to be a dirty message.”

That was the problem. Rhia would have loved a dirty message. Or she would have run screaming for the hills and never spoken to anyone ever again. It was a toss up.

“Do you mind if he crashes our plans?” she asked, stopping her perilous thoughts once more. Eris had never looked at her that way, at least not that she had noticed.

Sofi waved her glass of wine like a queen would her scepter. “Please. We hang out every other night. The male presence spices up the evening.”

If you don’t mind Sofi and I after two glasses of wine, Rhia wrote back.

Excellent. Shall I bring something from the royal cellar or do you have more than enough alcohol?

Oh definitely bring something. A fruity red, if you really want to win her over.

She couldn’t have counted to thirty in the time it took for Eris to appear in the kitchen.

“How did you possibly grab wine and winnow here that quickly?” Rhia demanded.

Eris shrugged. “I’m incredible like that.”

“Or he was sitting in the wine cellar, waiting to drown his sorrows if you said no,” Sofine piped up. Her cheeks flushed. “Sorry, I’m still not sure if I’m allowed to treat you normally and such.”

“Please,” Eris smiled. “Put me through all the shit you would normally put a male through.” With a mischievous look at Rhia, he added: “And feel free to tell me about those males while you’re at it.”

Rhia snatched the bottle from him. “Absolutely not.” She checked the label. “Cauldron damn me, this is 600 years old! Wait -- Eris, when exactly were you born?”

“I will not be age-shamed after procuring some of the finest wine in Autumn tonight,” he growled. “You know damn well how old I am.”

Sofine sighed. “I hope I’m not that grumpy in four hundred years.” She raised her now-empty glass up to Rhia, who gladly filled it.

---

Eris flicked his wrist and pulled out a glass for himself, then threw his body into the unoccupied chair. He let out a mock sigh at the females’ teasing, hiding his genuine joy at the playful conversation and quick remarks that flew across the room.

XXX

“I’m never throwing myself a birthday party again,” he insisted. “It’s just depressing at this point. I would’ve stopped throwing them years ago, if we hadn’t been...required to.” Eris trailed off. He’d almost shared the darling fact that Beron had forced all of his sons to host birthday galas, as an excuse to demand gifts and promises from various lords and nobility. Beron also loved nothing more than to use the annual occurrence as an excuse to run through the boys’ failures that year. The harsh words stung, but the sharp blows that followed drew a special kind of agony.

XXX

Rhia’s brow furrowed slightly at his sudden change in tone. “I throw too many birthdays for my students anyway.” He appreciated her attempt to lighten the mood, and appreciated the warmth of her hand on his that followed.

“That reminds me.” Eris squeezed her hand quickly, the other darting into his jacket pocket. “I have something for you. Both of you.” Inspiration struck as he handed the ball invitation to Rhia.

Her eyes danced across the sturdy parchment. “The Autumn Solstice Ball? In two weeks?”

Sofine jumped up. “What? Give me that!” She squealed as she read what Rhia had just spoken. “By the Mother, Eris!! Oh, you are such an improvement on anyone Rhia’s brought home.”

“Sofi’s always wanted to attend a ball,” Rhia shared. Eris tried to judge her expression, but he couldn’t figure out what she was thinking.

“And you? Would you be interested in attending?” he probed. “I, I know it might be complicated for you to attend with the whole...situation.” He gestured between the two of them. “We can do this any way you’d like.”

Rhia worked her bottom lip between her teeth. “I want to, I really do.” Eris had to restrain himself from running his thumb over her forehead until the skin relaxed. “I’m worried people will know, but I’m also exhausted already at the thought of hiding it all night, but I know it’d be strange for you to pop up with a mate randomly, and I--”

“I have an idea,” Sofine interrupted. Her eyes narrowed as her brain doubtlessly worked out some scheme that Eris would either detest or fancy. “It would save you both some trouble. You wouldn’t have to hide your feelings, but you wouldn’t have to come up with a backstory about how you met.”

Oh, Eris would definitely love or hate this.

Sofine took a sip of her wine. “Spit it out, you dramatic tart,” Rhia complained after a moment.

“Write your own fairytale.” Sofi let a smirk play on her lips. “Pretend like you’ve never met, as if Rhia and I just received the invitations through some mistake or some administrative process. And then at the ball, poof! The bond.”

Eris let her words run through his mind once, twice. “You think we should act like the bond clicked into place...at the ball?”

Shrugging, she defended her plan. “I can’t say whether or not you both want to bring your relationship into the public domain, but it would be wonderful, wouldn’t it?” Eris would have snorted at the dreamy look in her eyes if he hadn’t gotten the same look whenever he thought about a future with Rhia. “The new High Lord...hosting an extravagant ball...seeing the most beautiful woman grace his presence...falling love with her-”

“Cauldron, Sofi, are you a writer now?” Rhia stopped her friend from writing an entire novel aloud. Her gaze darted to Eris. “It feels a bit over-the-top, though.”

“I hate to even say this, because you know it isn’t a priority for me, but Gerwin would murder me if I didn’t consider how good of a public relations boost this could be.” Eris winced. It felt unbelievably shallow and inconsiderate to worry about his reputation while discussing his most intimate relationship.

Luckily, Rhia waved off his concerns with a hand on his arm. “Well maybe that’s something I care about.” She turned to her friend. “Do you mind giving us a moment?”

“I’ll give you all night,” Sofi smirked. “Take all the time you need to...talk. Bye!”

Her joke left them both groaning. However, Eris did take advantage of Sofi’s absence to pull Rhia away from the table and towards the much comfier couch across the room. She sat facing him, tucking her legs underneath her as she always did.

“Can I?” Eris stretched out his arm. Rhia gave him the softest smile and nodded, pulling herself closer until they were properly cuddled up next to each other.

“We obviously don’t have to this,” Eris began. “There’s ten other ways you could attend, not attend, whatever you want.”

She scrunched up her face. “Don’t ever repeat this, especially not to Sofi, but I’m completely in love with the idea,’ Rhia confessed. “It’s so silly, I know, but it feels nice to create some fake story. We could keep everything else private.”

Eris loved the idea for entirely different reasons, pretty much of all of them that he would get to dance with the most delightful Fae in this world in front of everyone without having to explain himself to anyone. However, he could work with this.

“So then? Should we do this?”

Rhia rolled her eyes. “Why does it feel like I’m signing my life away to some top-secret mission? Yes, let’s do it.”

He stayed over again that night, except this time they stayed awake talking until an obscene hour. Eris fell asleep with images of their future lulling him into peace.

Chapter 13: your eyes whispered (have we met) take 2

Eris threw himself on his bed, letting out a dramatic sigh that no one could hear. It had been a week and a half of pure stress that saw every kind of crisis, from interviewing potential advisers that ended up having criminal backgrounds to finding out the ballroom floor had somehow deteriorated and needed a fix immediately. Now, the day before the Solstice, Eris found himself wishing Auster had succeeded in his coup, if only for the fact that dealing with these logistics seemed a fitting punishment for treason.

His thoughts, as always, drifted to Rhia. They’d only had a couple nights together since, and Eris had to run back to the palace both times after a couple hours. The last interruption came at a particularly inopportune moment, right as he finished telling her the story of his darkest moment.

“Fuck,” Eris swore. Gerwin’s note made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that he had to come deal with a fight that broke out between some of his people. “I--”

“Go deal with it,” Rhia commanded, her voice unnaturally calm.

Eris let out a loose breath. He had literally just told her about Mor, about leaving a dying woman alone in the woods rather than offer her any aid because she had dared defy their fathers. “I don’t want to leave like this.”

Rhia hadn’t dropped her gaze at any point during the conversation and held his stare even now. “Are you worried that you’ve upset me beyond reproach? That this conversation is my breaking point?”

“Maybe.” He broke first, using the excuse of throwing on his coat to look away. “It’s what isolated the Autumn and Night Court permanently; why the precious Inner Circle will never tolerate me beyond my usefulness as an ally.”

Rhia snorted. “If we had more time, I’d spend all of it convincing you that this most certainly is not my breaking point. But we don’t.” She moved closer into his personal space. “So go deal with your drama and I’ll prove to you that the bridge between us is unbreakable another time.”

She always complained about his cheesy one-liners, but that sentence had carried him through the entire evening and subsequent morning. It wasn’t until that night, until he lay in his bed alone, that doubt began creeping in.

Eris’s mind raged a violent battle. The logical, rational part of him argued that Rhia had insisted they were fine, insisted she wasn’t upset at him. The dark, twisted part of him sneered at that optimism, insisted that she would never look at him again. Why would she, after hearing about his tragic engagement? After all, Rhia looked up to the Inner Circle as if they were deities, the same people who declared Eris a mortal enemy.

Sleep finally stole him from his painful journey through his memories, but his dreams offered little comfort. They swept him from memories of kisses and laughter to visions of tragedy and heartbreak at terrifying speeds.

---

Rhia finished her cup of tea. Sofi stood in front of her, buzzing with excitement, as they both eyed the sheer bags in front of them.

“I can’t stand it anymore,” Sofi declared, throwing her hands up in an overly dramatic gesture. “I’m opening them.”

She untied the lovely ribbon keeping their gowns wrapped in the protective shields before Rhia could protest. “Oh my goodness, Rhia, look .”

“Treya outdid herself,” Rhia agreed. One of her student’s guardians had offered to make them dresses for the Ball for a heavily discounted price, claiming that she had overstocked on specialty fabrics that weren’t selling.

She ran a hand softly over the gold silk. It felt luxurious, obscenely so, and Rhia found herself questioning if she deserved this. Not just the dress, but the entire situation. After so many years stuck in one place, doing one job, with basically one friend, the thought of changing her life overnight seemed beyond daunting. For Eris, though, she would try to step out of her comfort zone.

If only I could step far enough out of my comfort zone to jump his bones, Rhia thought to herself, half-humorously and half-miserable.

Sofi played with the straps of her sparkling red gown. “Where did you go just now?”

“Just wondering how the hell I got here,” Rhia answered. They played this game whenever either drifted too far into their own heads, a way to mindfully reenter the present. “It’s like a fantasy, isn’t it? Finding true love and prince overnight.”

Her tone must have struck bitter, because Sofi stopped admiring the fabric and looked her dead in the eye. “What are you worried about? That you don’t deserve this?”

“Yes, but it’s not...” Rhia fiddled with her gown once more. “We’ve talked a lot about what our life after tonight will look like, and it’s not like we’re about to get married or anything, but is it strange that I wish we were further along in our relationship? How can we just declare ourselves to the entire damn continent at this point?”

Sofi raised an eyebrow. “I would say this is a completely normal stage to tell your circle of people about a relationship. Eris’ circle just happens to include the general public.” She refilled her own mug, then froze. “When you say further along, you don’t mean sex, do you?”

“And what if I do?” Rhia challenged. Her cheeks flushed a bit. It’s not as if Sofi hadn’t seen her at her worst moments and through every failed relationship since, but this admission felt more embarrassing, for some reason. “I’m about to meet his mother and we’ve barely felt each other up.”

One beat of silence, then:

“I’m sorry,” Sofi cackled. “What is your logic here?” Her laughter grew as Rhia frowned, making her words difficult to decipher. “‘Hey Eris! I know everything’s just peachy emotionally, but I can’t go public with you until we’ve fucked!’ Rhia, you’re smarter than this.”

Rhia was smarter than this. “It sounds worse when you say it like that! I just...I’ve never waited this long before and it feels like I’m failing somehow.”

Sofi stopped giggling. “Hey,” she said softly. “You can’t compare relationships, or males, or even yourself in different situations. You’re happier than I’ve ever seen you, and that’s all that matters.”

“I am,” Rhia agreed. She took a deep breath, letting her thoughts settle. “I am, and you’re right.” Saying it out loud had helped calm the tornado of insecurities, helped her realize the fallacy of her worries. “Honestly, I think it’s a good sign we both overthink every tiny thing. As if we’re both terrified to damage what we have.”

Her friend clicked her tongue. “As long as that overthinking doesn’t create any damages itself.”

---

Eris was definitely overthinking their plan. Rhia had written him a short note about an hour ago, letting him know that her gown was perfect and she couldn’t wait. Somehow, her simple positivity had sent Eris into a swirl of anxiety that led him to interrogate Liang about every last logistical element.

“You’re hovering,” she snapped, as he followed her down the hallway. “Why are you asking me about the greeting line? You’ve done it a hundred times.”

Eris usually found her temper refreshing. Not today, though. “Yes, but we don’t normally greet everyone. How long will I be in line?”

Liang gave him a bemused look. “I don’t know, thirty minutes? How chatty do you plan to be? And it’s only for the appointed representatives from each village, like every single other time.” She turned sharply, narrowly avoiding a group of Fae carrying large trays of food to the main hall.

“Don’t follow me,” she called out, not bothering to turn her head to look back at her High Lord. Eris stopped walking, but still heard her mumble several profanities under her breath.

He ran a hand through his hair. Somehow, he had to conclude official introductions and make it into the main party before Rhia showed up, so their “first-glance” would seem authentic, without offending any local politicians by cutting their discussions short. If dinner began too soon, they’d have to wait for dancing, but would it even make sense to lock eyes after two hours at the Ball?

“Pull yourself together,” he mumbled to himself. Eris hated feeling out of control, but he simply couldn’t force a thousand people to move exactly how he wanted.

The plan stressed him out immensely, yet would provide political protection for their relationship. Technically, the law required Eris to disclose any “personal liaisons” to the palace staff and advisers, for security reasons and to allow advisers to approve any potential marriages. He obviously hadn’t done that under Beron to protect his lovers, and really didn’t want anyone saying a damn thing about his future spouse. Luckily, Prythian held mating bonds in the highest regard, and no one would dare say shit about him and Rhia, especially if the bond seemed to appear at an auspicious time of year.

“Talking to yourself now? I heard that’s a sign of mental exhaustion.” Eris turned to face his brother. “Why aren’t you up in your chambers getting pampered and prepared?” Lucien asked.

“I’m going there now,” Eris grumbled. “I was checking on any last minute issues.”

Lucien placed a hand on his shoulder. “How dedicated. Funny story, though, I had only just stepped into the entrance hall when Mother accosted me and demanded I send you back to your chambers.” He let out a small chuckle. “I believe the words ‘nuisance’ and ‘in the way’ were used.”

“It’s my party. I think I’m allowed to help out-”

“You don’t give a shit about event planning,” Lucien interrupted. “Go do your hair and make yourself pretty for your...special guest.”

Eris started. He hadn’t mentioned anything to his brother about Rhia. “What are you talking about?”

Lucien stepped back and put his hands in his pockets. The prick had spent way too much time in the Night Court. “Only that Carina seemed a little too excited for you. Anyways.”

Eris watched him walk away. Of course she had blabbed to his brother, probably immediately after Eris had confided in her last week. She was dogmatically good at keeping secrets when necessary, but notoriously good at gossiping about personal matters.

Still, he winnowed to his chambers and started a bath. His hair did look a bit a shabby, now that Lucien mentioned it.

----

The trees lining the cobblestone path twinkled with golden light, leading the way to the palace. Rhia and Sofi did their best not to gape at the scenery, at everything from the decorations to the masses of people. While they both had visited cities before Amarantha’s reign, the influx of sounds and sights overwhelmed their small-town sensibilities.

Rhia craned her neck to observe the massive double doors that were flung open to allow entrance. “Do they truly leave the doors open all night? Seems dangerous with all these crowds.”

“The only Fae who might break in has an invitation tonight,” Sofi snorted. She nodded at the thick parchment in Rhia’s hand. “Don’t even think about scaling the west wall.”

“East wall,” Rhia corrected automatically. Her heart had begun to race as they neared the doors, the entrance hall now visible over the other guests’ heads. The guards worked efficiently, splitting the crowd into three lines to check their invitations and scan for weapons.

The duo exchanged no further words until they reached the checkpoint. The guard let them through with no hassle, and Rhia let out a small breath. She didn’t expect to be denied entry or thrown in a prison cell, but her last encounter with palace guards had tainted her memory. Hopefully none of the members on staff tonight had arrested her previously.

“He certainly has taste, you think?” Sofi commented as they swept down the spacious hallway. Rhia nodded, enjoying the bright colors of the Autumn Court represented on ornate curtains, plush carpet, and detailed murals. On another occasion, she might have taken her time to admire the artwork like the other guests, but Rhia dragged Sofi quickly through them, with only one beautiful thing on her mind.

An extremely tall Fae stood at the end of the hall, in front of another set of large doors. Unfortunately, these were closed shut.

Rhia frowned at the sight. “Did we have the time wrong?”

“Oh, they just have to finish up the greeting line.” Rhia and Sofi jumped at the sudden comment. “They should open them shortly.”

Rhia grinned when she recognized the Fae next to her. “Gerwin! What are you doing out here with the rabble?” She placed a hand on Sofi’s wrist. “This is my dearest friend, Sofi. Sofi, this is Eris’ weapon master and all-around savior, Gerwin.”

He bowed slightly. “May I get that glowing compliment in writing? Pleased to meet you.”

Sofi laughed. “Likewise. I always think it’s good to know someone who knows where all the weapons are, in case of emergency.”

“The doors are now open,” droned the lanky Fae. Indeed, they swung open slowly behind him, revealing orchestral music and overlapping conversation. Gerwin shot them a quick wink and entered first, careful to act like a friendly stranger rather than an insider on the biggest secret of the year.

“Are you ready?” Sofi whispered under her breath. She slid her hand into Rhia’s, giving it a quick squeeze. “Last chance to run for the hills.”

Rhia scoffed. “Keep walking.” She forced her breath to come out evenly, slowly, hoping her body wouldn’t betray her by fainting before she even saw him.

The lights seemed even brighter, the music swelling to unprecedented volume, as she took those final steps into the ballroom, her eyes darting across all the irrelevant people and things. She only wanted to look at one person, only wanted to think of one thing tonight.

And then her eyes met his.

---

“Do you think you’ll make a trip to the Southern cities this winter? I spoke with the company maintaining your Milton estate, and it couldn’t be in better condition.” The dark-skinned representative beamed.

Eris attempted to return his enthusiasm. “Possibly. There’s still quite a bit of work to do around here. Thank you for coming.”

“Of course, my Lord. Have a wonderful evening.” As the Fae moved towards the dance floor, Eris dared to look back at the closed doors behind him. The official representatives had been let in forty minutes ago, and finally, he could see the end of the greeting line. If he could get through the next two conversations without screaming in frustration, he’d treat himself to the largest drink he could physically hold. Unless she arrived before he made it to the bar, then he’d settle on treating himself with a dance with the love of his life.

“The doors are now open.” The doormale’s voice sent a shot of adrenaline through Eris’ blood, grabbing his attention from the last group of dignitaries from the Dawn Court. His mother’s smile tightened, but her face remained diplomatic as she took over the greeting from her distracted son.

Eris strode away from the politicians and foreigners, away from his role as High Lord. As he walked, his prior thoughts and insecurities rose like a cloud of poison, choking him with doubt. This was the last time he could dream about what would happen when they saw each other’s faces again, the last time he could wonder if she’d come to brighten up his dull palatial life. The last time he could hate himself for offering her a choice to stand by him publicly, as if that wouldn’t put her in danger of scorn and harm.

Eris could barely breathe as he approached the edge of the dance floor. The string octet transitioned to louder music, meant to pull the crowds to their feet and into the arms of a partner. The first line of general guests darted in, chatting excitedly about the extravagance and the notable Fae already in the room.

He truly did stop breathing the moment he saw the tail of a silk golden gown. His eyes raked up the flowing skirt, small sections twisted into rose-like shapes until they reached the tight bodice. Then, his eyes devoured the low neckline and bare shoulders, stopping to note the one sleeve slipping down a smooth, brown arm, mocking the hand he wished to brush down that same arm.

Finally, after several seconds or an eternity, his eyes locked in on the most beautiful face he would ever see. Eris prayed to the Mother that he wouldn’t slip out of consciousness in that moment, when he looked his unbelievably perfect mate in the eye.

Rhia offered him the smallest smile, her hands rising to sit delicately at her stomach. She took a step towards him and--

Eris held back a snarl when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Gerwin mumbled an apology.

“You were standing so still that even I believe this was the moment the bond clicked in,” the weapons master remarked. “I think about half the room has noticed so far.”

“Good.” Eris turned back towards her, towards the angel he would never deserve. And yet, his doubts had completely vanished in her presence, leaving behind only the desire to hold her immediately. “I want them all to see this.”

With a final grin to his best friend, Eris walked across the floor. Fae jumped out of his way, and the gossip increased by a tenfold at his determined pace.

Sofi stood proudly next to her, failing to hold back her grin. She leaned over to whisper something in Rhia’s ear that Eris barely managed to catch. “I think you’ve caught someone’s attention.”

He was now close enough to inhale her scent. Cauldron, he must look like a besotted fool. Luckily, that was his role to play.

“My Lord.” Sofi bowed. Eris shot her a glance that might have appeared disdained to onlookers. She pursed her lips to hold back laughter.

“Have we met?” Eris asked. His tone came off light, casual, hiding the turmoil of love and desire flooding him. “You are absolutely enchanting.”

Rhia blushed and he almost gave in, almost kissed that blush right off her cheeks. “I haven’t had the honor, my Lord.”

“Eris,” he breathed. “To you, always Eris.”

“Rhiannon,” she countered. “Rhia, if you’d like.”

He held out a hand. “Will you do me the honor?”

She took it, and the warmth of her skin blazed across his body. Eris led them out to the dance floor, which had emptied in his journey across it.

The musicians changed their tune mid-note, slowing the tune down until a sweet, romantic song claimed the room. A few cautious couples stepped out from the edges of the crowd, but most of the room stood completely still and held their breaths, straining to figure out who had stolen their High Lord so abruptly.

Eris pulled Rhia close with one hand on her waist, keeping the touch gentle for her comfort. Their intertwined hands rose as their feet moved.

“Why aren’t they dancing?” she asked nervously.

“Don’t look at them. Look at me,” Eris urged. “It’s an old Court tradition, letting the highest ranking nobles have the first dance. They’ll join soon.”

“Why did you ask me to dance?”

He smiled at the question. She was still playing the game. “You must know that you’re the most flawless person in this room. I was wonderstruck.”

That beautiful blush appeared again. “I’ll guess you didn’t pass any mirrors on the way down here, then. I can’t take my eyes off of you.” The hand on his shoulder flexed as Rhia dared to let one finger brush his neck. He shivered.

“Please tell me you felt it too.” Eris’ instincts kept them from crashing into other dancers, since his eyes couldn’t be bothered to leave her face. “Tell me I’m not alone here.”

Passerbyers heard that one. His words spread across the crowd, the gossip faster than his flames ever could.

“Everything vanished when I saw your face,” Rhia replied. Her tone softened, her head tilted. “Yes, I felt it.” She leaned in, lips brushing his ear. “You’ll never be alone again, my love.” The words were murmured too softly for anyone else, an admission that was for him alone.

Gerwin would never let him forget it if he cried in front of everyone, so Eris swallowed back the rage of emotions in his throat. “Thank the Cauldron. Literally, since you’re my-”

A roar of thunder shattered the room, followed by a flash of darkness right in the center of the floor, several feet from where they stood. Some guests screamed, and the guards surged, but Eris merely sighed and held up a hand.

The night black vanished, leaving behind an unfairly attractive couple. The female waved to the crowd, flipping a lock of her raven hair over her shoulder. Her partner stood impassively next to her, his Illyrian wings marking him as obviously other.

Eris inclined his head. “Thank you for coming, Carina.”

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Hoping to Help

An AU story about who I thought might have been Swallow for a while. Neo spoilers (moreso in the AN than anything, I think, but still maybe stay away if you haven't finished the game, to be safe).

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33528064

Author’s Note:  Just imagine that in this AU, Rindo and Shoka just fall for each other because of the Game and the Game alone:)

‘Don’t worry, Rindragon. I’m coming to get you,’ Eri thought, as she typed a message to her most recent friend and prayed beyond measure that Neku and Shiki might be able to get him out of the Game.

For you see, Eri was none other than Swallow: Rindo’s online friend he’d been worrying about so much during his Reapers’ Game.

And Eri, honestly, was only ever in the UG a few times (the instances that Joshua would let her in to help Neku and Shiki with whatever mission they were on about something called an “Inversion”. And the Composer was far more lenient with Shiki coming and going from the UG than her… probably because if Josh had his way, Eri never would have been told about the Reapers’ Game at all). So Eri sometimes being in the UG (the times Josh would let her) explained some of the reason that she and Rindragon were still able to text.

But the other, Eri imagined, was that maybe in being around so many Ex-Players… they had somehow touched her, so that fate itself thought she was one of them and always in the UG, too.

And Eri would of course happily take being able to still talk with Rindragon this way, over Neku’s situation… where he wasn’t a Reaper yet, but every day Joshua was getting closer and closer to breaking his defenses down so he would choose that, Eri thought. Though part of her did wish that she was in the UG constantly, so she might be able to do anything for Rindragon.

And, yeah… Eri had technically lied to Rindragon, something she never wanted to do, about her being in the UG (all the time)—but it had been simpler than explaining her actual situation. And she really wasn’t even supposed to do that, according to Joshua, since he warned her that the Higher Plane would probably strike her down for knowing so much without being a former Player, if she wasn’t careful.

So, most of the time, Eri was mum’s the word about it at all, over anything that could be traced, and wouldn’t talk to Shiki, Neku, Beat, or Rhyme about other Plane stuff over the phone and might even go so far as to only whisper to them about it in their houses… but now Eri was almost willing to the risk of being murdered by the Higher Plane, just if it gave her one shot at saving Rindragon!

He was younger than her—Eri had been able to tell that right away—but she didn’t mind it. She’d always been popular with most ages, honestly, and he had been there for her when she’d been somewhat left out of Reapers’ Game talks with her friends (they tried with her. They really did. And Eri appreciated them for it, but it was clear that there were some things about it that they could really only share with each other) and wanted to start a game of her own with a new friend, like Shiki had new friends… it was why Eri had started playing FanGo to begin with.

But now, it almost seemed like her dream of playing FanGo with Rindragon was going to fade, too. And Eri was a go-getter, who worked so very hard and usually achieved her dreams that way… so lately, the fact that she’d been losing so much (like with Neku’s death, that had mortified her until she got to see him again) didn’t sit right with her at all, and she wanted to fix some of it… somehow and someway. And so, she’d try.

“Neku… I feel like you’re the key to going in and saving him, oh, Legendary Player. Any chance you can do that for a friend here?”

And if Eri wouldn’t have known better, she would have thought it was just a normal night with the three of them, sitting around her apartment, casually eating pizza… but of course with her luck lately, it was anything but.

“I’ll try, Eri,” Neku promised her, sending a small smile Eri’s way (he saved his big one’s for Shiki), while he pulled the cheese off his pizza (he was thinking about going vegan lately, Eri knew). “Even though the Reapers are trying hard to create walls I can’t pass—and will be on my ass the moment I try it--…but you do know there’s a chance we’ll have to fight him, right? If he remains Kubo’s lapdog? I’d say it would just be me doing that… but the way Josh is, the asshole may try to recruit you guys into the UG, too.”

And as Neku was clearly starting to get worked up here (at the idea of having to fight an innocent, or the two of them entering the UG again like him), Shiki reached over on the couch they were on together and ran soothing circles all over Neku’s back. And Eri found that she couldn’t blame Neku for being stressed… especially since he was pretty much a murdered specimen right now. Eri was stressed, mostly for Rindragon, but she didn’t even have the half of Neku’s issues going on for her. “Hopefully it won’t come to that!” Shiki encouraged Eri too, sending the large smile her way that Neku had been incapable of—but Eri thought it was kind of nice, in that regard. This couple clearly completed each other… even if it made her feel a bit lonely to see sometimes. “I’m sure Neku—and us, if it comes down to it—will find a way. Like when Neku got the Red Skull Pin off of my person, so he wouldn’t have to defeat me… We’ll think of something, Eri, I know it. And Rindragon seems strong,” Shiki continued on, proving that she was still very much was the new Shiki who believed in things, and not the old one who so easily got tripped up.

But Rindragon most certainly was that, Eri knew. You didn’t become one of the top FanGo players for nothing; you had to walk all over and work hard for it, to be strong enough and savvy enough catch the best creatures. So Eri knew that Rindragon was clearly fit—and had gamer’s hands, and therefore fast reflexes—but she was still so paranoid about him here.

“Shiki’s right, Eri,” Neku promised, squeezing her hand—that had still been on her keyboard—in an aim to comfort her even more now. Was she really that shaken up? “I’ve been in so many Games now, that I’m not going to make them say that I can’t have my way without a fight. And even though I don’t think I’m as reassuring as Beat would be here… If I need to carry all of us in the Game, I’ll do so.” And Neku did end up attempting to do that for them—which Eri knew she would always appreciate him for—but she ended up helping Rindragon (Rindo, who she properly knew the name of by then) against the Plague Noise, too (and Shiki aided in it as well, whose Imagination had gotten so powerful, that she didn’t even have to be a Player or Reaper to use some of her powers now. Eri got desperate and did kill herself for Rindo’s sake—and entered the Game that way—and that was something that Rindo gave her a mouthful for: and Eri had smiled amusedly at that, because in some ways… it felt weird to be chewed out by a kid. But it was a kid she adored, so she would take it… especially since she knew that if she survived, Josh had promised he would bring her back, so Rindo would no longer be able to be mad at her for throwing her life away for him then).

But it was no easy thing. Eri imagined she had as much trouble finding a psych she could use, as Shiki once had. But eventually, Eri had learned that if she carried pieces of fabric around, and something to draw on them with, the clothes would transform into what she’d drawn on them and she could then use them for a bomb… that took a while to set up this way, but did massive damage when it was done, so she could try and really best the bird that giant phoenix.

Then, everything was finally over. Peace rained in her friends’ lives again, and Eri couldn’t have been happier for it… and that Joshua kept his promises.

And now, Rindo was meeting up with Eri after he had aided his girlfriend, Shoka, find a better apartment to stay in, than the one Joshua had rented for her.

“It’s still so weird to think that you’re Swallow…” Rindo remarked, as the two of them played FanGo on their phones and headed towards 104 to shop some. “One of the lead designers of Gatto Nero. Damn, what are you doing hanging out with a loser like me?”

And at that, Eri had to laugh and give Rindo a quick hug around his waist, because he didn’t even know! “…Actually, I was starting to feel like the loser in not having played the Game… it was why I got into FanGo and met you. And I’m so glad that I did! But then when I found out you were in the Reapers’ Game… well, it was ironic, for sho, but I was afraid I would send Shiki and Neku to save you, and I would do nothing… and so you’d have no good opinion about little old me, when you finally met me at all! So, it meant a lot when you actually chewed me out for joining you in it, and throwing my safety away!

“You’re a good kid, Rindo. A good kid, I’m happy to be friends with,” Eri said, as the two of them dug out the lollipops they’d bought and sucked on them now… She hoped she wasn’t sounding too much like a mom here now, and scaring Rindo off, but when she looked over at him, she could tell that he still looked happy and deep in thought about this all. Good. “And you should totes intern with me for Gatto Nero, if you want. Your friends can too, really!!”

Rindo was guffawing now, as the two of them decided not to go into her and Shiki’s store, but rather up the stairs of the 104 building just to get a nice view.

Eri had no doubt that the girl who had given Rindo lots of advice in the past had finally reared her head, unlike the scared version of her, who had only been able to send him a few scared words in texts lately. And Rindo must have realized that, and been moved by it, because Rindo suddenly took Eri’s hand to shake it, and he smiled. “Sounds like a good deal, Swallow. Count me in!”

Author’s Note: Man, I had so many theories about Swallow while I played the Game… that all turned out to be wrong. Hahaha.

At first, I REALLY thought it was Rhyme, because Swallow sent Rindo a squirrel picture (essentially) and her name is “Swallow.” And I was like, “Squirrel Noise? And Rhyme got SWALLOWed by a Shark Noise?” Also, she’s around Rindo’s age. Ehh?!), but it quickly became clear that that wasn’t the case.

Then my next best guess was Eri for the longest time (which I wrote here), mainly because for a second, I was thinking the person at the computer (Rhyme) and Swallow were the same person, so all of this jumped into my head as to how it COULD have been Eri, even though I really didn’t think they would go this way (because I kind of figured they wouldn’t include Eri, sadly). Though it would have been cool.

Then I thought it was Shiki, for the same reasons I thought it was Eri (and I know that when I was thinking girl at their computer—Rhyme—was Swallow, the color palette should have been a dead giveaway that it was Rhyme. And really, it was. But I thought they MIGHT try and pull a fast one on us, sort of like they did with the Neku and Beat twist, and change the character’s color palettes or something), though clearly they didn’t. But then I didn’t think they would do that, because it might seem like Shiki was in love with Rindo over Neku or something… even though that would be kind of silly, because girls CAN have guy friends that are JUST their guy friends. So, I was really thinking Eri the most, out of the two of them.

I also thought it could be Joshua, for obvious reasons, but mostly I knew Swallow was a girl from the way they talked… typed.

And I think I thought it could have been Neku for five seconds, because when I thought the person at the computer desk and Swallow were the same person, and we then saw “Neku” come and save the Wicked Twisters (like computer-desk-person, Rhyme, had said about coming to save him [Beat], but at the time I thought she meant Rindo), I thought it was Neku because of that, fulfilling the promise, maybe. But I don’t really think I ever truly thought it could have been Neku. I think he was the one I imagined the least, because it would be too obvious.

Somehow, I missed the Shoka thing entirely… even though it seems so obvious now. But I’m kind of glad that I did, because it was a cool twist for me that way.

But here’s the Eri idea. I might the rest of them for fun, too (I already wrote the Shiki one… before this actually, so I hope in doing that, I didn’t steal some of this one’s thunder). Who knows?:)

Hope you all enjoyed!

[project-ohagi]

Tamaki Amajiki x Reader

Buy me a coffee!! <3

----

(Y/n) -

I love your cute smile.

I love your amazing laugh.

I love your silly jokes.

I love the way you make me feel - all warm and tingly inside.

I love that we have similar interests.

I love looking through your pictures.

I love smiling to myself when I think about you.

I love how enthusiastic I am to talk about you.

I love how dedicated I am to you.

I love the idea that we could be something more.

I love you, inside and out.

Tamaki's pale, pointy ears twitched nervously. The note he had written (after around seven failed drafts), conveyed almost all his feelings, but it still couldn't quite capture the real essence of his love. You seemed way out of his league - unbelievably pretty, sweet and kind, popular with students and staff alike. He always felt dejected, never hopeful, but his best friend (the exasperatingly energetic Mirio Togata) finally managed to convince the timid elf to let his emotions bleed on to paper. Tamaki wasn't about to let you find it, however, relinquishing any chance he might have had with you. Opening and closing his butterfly-embellished A5 notebook, an expression of utter embarrassment plastered on to his features, he made a point to sigh loudly. Thankfully, this didn't attract any unwanted attention, since he was currently alone in the classroom. Not even Mirio was eating with him today, which he thought odd, but perhaps the outgoing, bubbly boy had ultimately admitted defeat - Tamaki was surely a lost cause.

His Sasuke-esque indigo locks ghosted the notebook as he lowered his head, bashing it lightly on the table. How stupid could he be? Why would he even bother writing out something so humiliating? What if you did get hold of it? You might make fun of his feelings, although this stabbing sensation in his gut told him otherwise.

"But," He started, voice trembling like white noise. "T-This is my first love...if she rejects me, that will confirm I'm worthless, right? Not worthy of being a hero - not even a human being. I might as well be a potato, but I probably wouldn't be a good potato; I'd be the kind of deformed potato that gets thrown away before it can be sold. A worthless potato..."

Someone laughed a monstrous laugh, startling Tamaki out of his seat.

"You really like potatoes, huh Tamaki?"

"M-Mirio..."

Tamaki placed a hand over his clothed chest, feeling the vicious vibrations of his heart, pounding against his rib-cage in an effort to be released. Where would it run to, he wondered. The answer was blindingly obvious, yet he chose not to believe it. Surely you wouldn't accept the invitation into his deepest, darkest parts, where the monsters burrowed and the beastly thoughts dwelled...Who was he kidding? There was nothing cool or mysterious, extraordinary or interesting about him. That would likely be the reason for your distance. Tamaki's head hung low as he processed this, a frigid air seeming to hang around him alone. Other than the righteous blonde who stood before him, Tamaki was always alone. He always had been, and figured that he always would. Some things were simply destined never to change; they remained the same regardless of time or events. If the two of you weren't meant to be together, the universe would soon tell him definitively.

That smiling mass of muscle noticed his friend's dismay rather quickly.

"Let me guess - is it (Y/n)?"

Hoping that a hole in the ground would suddenly appear to swallow him up, Tamaki only nodded. He was afraid that the more he spoke of his love, the more his voice would break. It was a secluded classroom for now, sure, but the door was slightly ajar, and anyone could walk past. This image alone made him quiver on the spot.

"Haha! Why are you on the ground, Tamaki? I'm sure if you just tell her, everything will go your way!" Mirio beamed, although he didn't manage to instil much confidence in the indigo-haired boy.

Tamaki shielded his eyes. "Too bright..." He mumbled, but Mirio seemed not to hear him.

Instead, he resumed his monologue: "(Y/n) is really nice, so she'd never let you down! D'you remember that time she stayed after school with you to help tidy up, even though it wasn't her turn? Or what about when that guy tried to play a prank on you in our second year, and she stopped him? She was so badass, and I'm sure she likes you back! Why wouldn't she?"

"Because..." Tamaki stammered, almost incoherently. "I'm nothing compared to her. She's so amazing, and I'm...just me."

"Maybe she likes 'just you'!" The blonde pressed, desperate for his friend not to fall deeper into despair.

Tamaki shook his head, signalling his complete denial - it was too convenient to ever come true.

Soon, the bell echoed across UA, and students rushed in for their next class. Tamaki took his place once again, that always-present, gloomy aura repelling everyone. Almost everyone. Your seat was directly next to his, and he had yet to realise, but you were slowly moving your desk closer to his. Midnight made her entrance, and the lesson began. You spared a few glances to the side, gauging Tamaki's current mood. Mirio was seated a couple of desks away, but he made a sort of bird-call-like gesture to you. Midnight didn't notice, but some of your classmates sniggered. Mirio pointed to Tamaki. His notebook had been haphazardly tucked away under a pile of books and stationary, but you could see a beautiful blue butterfly - an Adonis Blue, and a male at that. A smile enveloped your face, as you wondered what secrets were buried within the pages.

Glancing back towards Mirio, you saw him nod. Not two seconds later, he stood up to brag about a presentation he had done for homework. It was bound to be awful, but you appreciated the signal; it was a distraction, to ensure that you could swipe the notebook without getting caught. It worked, and soon enough, it was splayed out on your desk, a range of colourful butterflies appearing to stare up at you. Tamaki still hadn't acknowledged the theft, so you decided to read. This was okay...right? After all, if it was something Mirio wanted you to examine, then it must be important, and it definitely involved you. Mirio wasn't the type to be cruel to his friends. You turned the cover, and started to flick through. You frowned - what was going on? Gazing towards the boisterous blonde, you shot him a quizzical look. While everyone was concentrating on Midnight, he mouthed a singular word: poem.

You tried again, and this time, you found exactly what you were looking for.

(Y/n) -

I love your cute smile.

I love your amazing laugh.

I love your silly jokes.

I love the way you make me feel - all warm and tingly inside.

I love that we have similar interests.

I love looking through your pictures.

I love smiling to myself when I think about you.

I love how enthusiastic I am to talk about you.

I love how dedicated I am to you.

I love the idea that we could be something more.

I love you, inside and out.

Tears were welling in your eyes, but you refused to wet the page. This was such a heartfelt confession. You dried your eyes, determined to write a tribute to love more eloquent than Tamaki's. However, your mission was a disaster. Words abandoned you and there was only one thought swirling around in the vast potion of your mind. So, taking a deep breath, you inked it on to the paper, watching your simple phrase manifest with pride.

Tamaki, I love you more than you will ever know.

[Word Count: 1306]

[a-student-out-of-time]

April Fools Special Review: Part 1

I had some ideas regarding this day. I initially was going to do a spoof review of a hypothetical Session 3 arc, but given that its looking that the Puppetmaster is gonna be a big wham arc, I think I’ll hold off because if I write say how Kana manages to deduce where Iroha’s family hideout is located and then she freaking dies, that kinda kills the joke. Then I was going to do a spoof review on why Oncoming Storm is the best arc ever, but then it would be too obvious that this was a joke. So instead, because I said I was going to do a new ‘style’ of reviewing, how about a test drive of that? After all reviews aren’t just about the Arcs overall, you can also do reviews on various characters.

So, this is going to be a non-jokey review on an individual character. This is just a test run to see what general reception of these character reviews are. If you guys like them, I have a few characters lined up for this to sprinkle in if the Mod feels like they want a break at some point. If not well…you just get a one-shot character review and that’s that. With that out of the way who is going to get the honours of getting the character review treatment?

Let’s start things off with a strong one. It’s widely accepted that the best Arc overall is the Concert Arc, so naturally the focus should be on one of the Otonokoji Twins and because Kanade looks like she is still got more to bring to the table, lets focus on who’s had the best character development by far, the would have been Ultimate Vocalist, and Death herself; Hibiki Otonokoji!

Important Note: This review is factually accurate up to Connections. As Puppetmaster, the current Arc is still in progress I’m not counting that so if something big relating to Hibiki occurs there it won’t be included in this.

Shattering the Bird Cage

Out of all the SDRA2 characters, the character who got robbed the most in terms of development was Hibiki. I’m not happy with Nikei’s ultimate fate or the fact that Iroha got zero character development but overall, I do feel satisfied with their character arcs, and can see what LINUJ was trying to do. Hibiki never got that chance as she died in Chapter 3, y’know that one chapter which has a notorious reputation for robbing characters of their character developments? *Taka, Hiyoko and Tenko coughs* I already had bad feelings that something was gonna happen to the twins because I seriously thought LINUJ was going to kill one off, and then the other would be a survivor. And it could have worked both ways, Hibiki being offed and Kanade learns to be more assertive of herself, or Kanade dies and Hibiki realises she needs to mature as an individual. As the game progresses though, you get the sense there’s something wrong with the twins. Kanade seemed too calm and too useful and as I mentioned in a previous arc review, I thought that Kanade was lying about her talent as that’s a common occurrence in Danganronpa. But Chapter 3 changed all that. After realising the previous two murders were indirectly caused by her immaturity and that she needs to take responsibility for her actions, Hibiki starts to go through some character development and becomes more useful to the group overall. But then the motive videos and her bitch of a sister slam-dunked that.

Point is, Hibiki couldn’t break away from her sister even if she tried. Heck, the Otonokoji Twins share their FTEs so you CANNOT do Hibiki and Kanade individually. As I pointed out to the Mod, I understood from a lore perspective why this was done, but I still found it very frustrating. But one of the main goals of ASOOT is that characters who got little to no character development or were done dirty, got their redeeming chance. And by heck did we get it. Nikei may have been the first Another character to make an appearance, but he wasn’t the first Another character mentioned, heck he was only the 4th character, as the Twins and Kanata came before him! When Hajime was searching information on people who would get caught up in the Tragedy during the Practical Exams arc when recovering from his ankle injury, he came across information that the Otonokoji Twins as part of their nationwide tour, were planning to visit Tokyo on July 5th. After hearing from the Anons how much of a bitch Kanade was, he made notes to do something about it but nothing much came from it. But as we know the Practical Exams had a heck of a fallout as Hajime revealed his superhero persona Kasugano for the first time to the general public, and the fallout of his exposing the teachers’ abuse meant that a third of the facility staff got fired, including the school’s guidance councillor. This meant Hope’s Peak brought in more people, mainly alumni from previous classes, and among them was Yoruko Kabuga, the former Ultimate Hostess. She requested to see Hajime which seemed very unusual. Sure, Hajime had a bit of a reputation in Hope’s Peak at that point as his preventing of Natsumi and Sato from killing themselves was extremely well known in the school and he has a few friends from the Main Course, but a newcomer like Yoruko wouldn’t have known that, it’s got to be more than that. And when talking to Yoruko, she accidently slipped and called Hajime ‘Kamakura’, but she shouldn’t have known about Hajime and Izuru being linked. Firstly, knowledge on the Project shouldn’t be known to her, and secondly Hajime cancelled his participation in said project. The only way that Yoruko could have known is if she is like Hajime and came from the future. A quick trip to the Physics building and a scan from Umeko confirmed that yes, Hajime isn’t the only time traveller around and Yoruko is another fellow resident from the OG Timeline.

Yoruko now being a fellow time traveller, obviously meant she threw her lot in with Hajime and joined the Quantum Crew. With that Hajime was able to get more details about the Void Killing Game from her, trying to persuade her that Void CAN be redeemed, and said they are no different from him and his friends, who did more fucked up shit then they did. Yoruko was relucent but she did relent in the end. And with Yoruko, Hajime was able to get precise details and after hearing how deprived Kanade truly was and that Hibiki was the biggest victim in all of this, he decided to go to the concert for two reasons. Firstly, to expose to the world Kanade’s true nature and get her arrested, and secondly to rescue Hibiki.

Naturally things didn’t go to plan at first as Kanade showed precisely WHY she gotten away from killing for so long as she tricked Hajime and Chiaki into eating poisoned chocolate and they died slowly and painfully. But little did Kanade or Hajime know is that he had a special power. When bathing with his girlfriends, yes plural, they noticed that Hajime had 9 glowing dots on his back and they are emitting concentrated Tachyonic energy that Umeko couldn’t figure out why this was going on. But when Kanade killed Hajime, he suddenly found himself outside of the hotel with Chiaki and the twins a few hours earlier. He hastily changed his plans and once back at the hotel he looked in the mirror and saw that his once 9 dots are now 8, implying he has up to nine lives, and he used one up. It’s a cool mechanic and it makes sense because whatever power bestowed Hajime with this ability also knows that Junko is a very tough opponent to defeat. It also gives Hajime a bit of a safety net so if things go really wrong, he can just reset and try again.

But eventually Hajime and co succeeded in nailing Kanade and getting her arrested, and Hibiki’s worldview just shatters. Imagine if you are Hibiki for a second. Throughout your entire life your parents have neglected you and all you had was your twin little sister. You did a lot of activities together and eventually discovered you two are really good at music, and thus decide to put a band together, and it became so good and popular that you decided to hit the idol industry. Your band, Melody Rhythm, topped the charts and your nationwide tour is a huge success. Sure, there is that annoying ‘curse’ rumours about how everyone close to you disappeared or committed suicide, but those are dumb rumours by haters, you don’t let that bother you. Then in Tokyo, you meet up with some students from Hope’s Peak Academy and they are looking to scout you and your sister for the prestigious school that graduation guarantees success for life. Hajime, the Ultimate Detective, said that those ‘curse rumours’ aren’t mere rumours, there is in fact a stalker that is after you and your sister and they are responsible for all the disappearances and suicides that have plagued your life. That’s…worrying but surely with the Ultimate Detective on the case, the stalker will be caught, those nasty curse rumours will disappear and you have new friends in Hope’s Peak Academy, right? And you get along really well with him and his girlfriend Chiaki, the Ultimate Gamer. Then one day you and Chiaki are shopping and meet up with some of Chiaki’s friends, who also seem like nice people. You are a bit worried where Kanade is but Chiaki said she’s with Hajime so they will join up with you two shortly. And then Chiaki goes to the bathroom and suddenly, the speakers in the shopping mall come to life. A conversation between Hajime and Kanade is broadcasted across the entire mall, and the truth comes out. All those disappearances…all those suicides…all those accidents…all of them were caused by the one person you trusted above all else, and worst of all, she did it because she had an incestuous lust over you and would kill anyone who gets close to you in order to degrade your mind into a subservient ‘puppet state’ where you do EVERYTHING she asks for. And just like that life as you knew it was OVER.

Unsurprisely Hibiki does not take the news well, so badly she takes it she immediately turns into the ‘puppet state’ where in her catatonic state, Chiaki and Mikan had to carry her to Yoruko’s car, thankfully, Hibiki is a short and light girl so this task is a lot easier than it could have been. I mean if Iroha of all people was able to carry Kanade back to the Monocruise in SDRA2, then I’m sure the combined efforts of Chiaki and Mikan could cope. After Kanade is tied up having been beaten to near unconscious by Sonia, clearing up all evidence that Hajime was there, and Gundham having finished leaving the evidence behind for the police, everyone then heads back to Hope’s Peak, where Hibiki is brought before the psychologists of the school, Koroko and Miaya. Neither of them could make heads or tails of the ‘puppet state’ and for the first few days, Hibiki was stuck in the Puppet State, being fed IV drips to keep her alive. Despite all the best efforts of Koroko and Miaya, they couldn’t snap her out of it, or even figure out what it was. Yoruko though had an idea to restore Hibiki. According to Kanade, the Puppet State does wear off after a while but we don’t know what the time limit is at the moment, or if the shock of finding out her sister’s true nature regressed to into a permanent Puppet State. Yoruko then over the course of the next few days, went through various interviews that the Otonokoji Twins had and got some voice clips of Kanade together in order to digitally construct a command for Hibiki to wake up. Once she got it together, it worked and Hibiki was now awake, having been in the Puppet State for 3 days.

//And so it begins!

[rhub4rb]

Of Birds and Bugs

AO3

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7

-_-_-_-

Marinette hadn’t put much thought into school, the weekend of the gala.

She knew that the pictures of the event would be all over social media, seeing as it had been a big deal. But not once had she thought about her classmates seeing it. Not once had she thought about Lila seeing it.

The night had been wonderful, very long, but wonderful, and Marinette’s manager was sure that her appearing at the event would boost her popularity in France.

But just because there had been a gala, did not mean Marinette was free from practice the next day. Sunday afternoon, Marinette came into the dance studio and late Sunday evening, Marinette left.

Marinette had been exhausted, and she had fallen asleep the moment her body had hit her chaise.

So, it was safe to say, Marinette’s brain had not been thinking about Lila and her classmates seeing the gala photos.

Maybe, if Marinette had thought about it, she would have noticed the weird, tense silence that entered the courtyard when Marinette arrived at school Monday morning. Maybe, Marinette would have noticed all the stares full of awe that were sent her way when she walked up the stairs.

But practice had been long that Sunday, so Marinette was tired, and she hadn’t completely woken up yet.

She wasn’t allowed to stay inside of her half-asleep state however because the moment she stepped foot inside the classroom, she wished she had just stayed at home in bed, like her parents had offered her.

“I can’t believe you know NeTi, Lila.”

Marinette froze at the door, a feeling of nausea rising inside her, the world turning, to the point she had to support herself up the door.

“Of course! I was the one who introduced her to Clara Nightingale as well.” Lila’s smile was sickeningly sweet, promising more than anyone bargained for. “Clara had originally wanted me as her protegé, but I’m simply too busy with all of my charity work, I was forced to turn her down.”

Bile rose in Marinette’s throat, but she swallowed it, along with her tears. Marinette was about to respond that, no, Lila did not, in fact, introduce NeTi to Clara, that was Jagged, but it seemed someone else had something to say on the matter.

“But isn’t Marinette NeTi?”

Alix.

Marinette almost burst into tears right there, the sheer amount of joy and happiness overflowing in her, overflooding and spreading.

“Marinette?” Lila huffed in disbelief, but Marinette could see it, the anger, the way her shoulders were tense, the way her hands fisted. “Of course not, they just look alike, you know,” Lila glanced at Marinette, and Marinette could feel her heart dropping to the floor, heavy with lead and misery. “Because they’re Asian.”

Anger cracked through the lead and misery, until Marinette’s heart almost burst at the seams.

She opened her mouth, ready to explain and to call Lila out, especially for the racist comment, but Adrien sensed what was coming, and from his position beside Lila, quickly sent Marinette a pleading look.

Don’t expose her, it said.

She isn’t hurting anyone, it said.

It didn’t say that they were in it together. Because that simply wasn’t true.

But it was enough to enforce the quiet in Marinette, and her dry mouth clamped shut, blood roaring in her ears.

Marinette didn’t spare the class another glance. She just turned her back and walked out.

-

Alix had been excited for school that Monday.

Who wouldn’t be when they just found out that their class president was a freaking idol?

Plus, it had felt like the perfect way to mend the broken bond between the class and Marinette.

Alix never really thought that the stuff Marinette did had been all that bad, Chloe had been way worse, and it wasn’t often that Marinette hated someone without good reason.

But Marinette had become more distant since Lila had arrived, always claiming to be busy with something, saying that she had things to do. Back then, it had hurt. Marinette was a good friend, and suddenly she just didn’t seem interested in any of them anymore.

Of course, the class hadn’t exactly been the nicest to her back then.

And, as Alix thought it over as she took her seat in the class, Marinette probably had been busy.

With idol stuff.

So cool.

Alix immediately shot Kim an excited grin, one returned wholeheartedly.

“Did you see the pictures of Marinette this weekend?” Alix asked her grin growing wider.

“Did I? My mom wanted to frame them!” Kim tried to make it sound like he was complaining, but the wide smile on his face betrayed his real feelings on the matter. “Did you hear some of her music?”

Alix took out her phone and opened it to show him the first full album.

‘Butterfly.’

“It’s freaking sick. You wouldn’t think that rock music would fit so well with that whole idol thing.”

The rest of the class filed in, all discussing Marinette, or NeTi as she apparently went by as a performer, with various degrees of excitement. Alya looked like she was about to explode having to wait for Marinette, probably hoping to get an interview, more than anything.

Alix and Kim were so caught up in their little conversation that they didn’t even hear what the rest of class was saying, not paying them any attention until they heard Alya’s voice cut through the classroom.

“I can’t believe you know NeTi, Lila.”

All conversation in the classroom halted, and none of them even seemed to notice the frozen Marinette at the door.

“Of course! I was the one who introduced her to Clara Nightingale as well.” Alix knew that wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true, because Marinette was NeTi. It was obvious that she was NeTi. So Alix did the right thing. “Clara had originally wanted me as her protegé, but I’m simply too busy with all of my charity work, I was forced to turn her down.”

Alix spoke up.

“But isn’t Marinette NeTi?”

Alix hardly noticed the annoyed glare Lila had sent her way, before Lila put on that too sweet smile, but Alix noticed and now it was so obvious what was going on.

“Marinette?” Alix was offended on Marinette’s behalf on the sheer amount of disbelief in Lila’s voice. “Of course not, they just look alike, you know,” Alix hoped that Lila wouldn’t finish that sentence the way she thought she would. “Because they’re Asian.”

Alix was just about to start yelling when she was elbowed in the side. She shot Kim a disgruntled look, but he nodded his head towards the classroom door. For a split second, as Alix turned her head to look at the door, she hoped beyond her growing dread that it wasn’t Marinette, don’t let it be Marinette-

Marinette looked so pale, like polluted snow.

She swayed, like a leaf in the wind, and she turned, and she walked out.

Alix wanted to throw up.

-

Kim couldn’t have gone to school fast enough, despite knowing that Marinette rarely ever came to school on time.

If there was a chance he could talk to Marinette before class started, he would very much like to.

First, to apologize for not being a good friend, and after that, to fangirl because holy hell Marinette was an idol.

At least he understood why she had become so distant. She had been busy. Among other things.

He felt like a jerk.

And he wanted to make up for that.

Kim knew he wasn’t the only one thinking this, he had been texting Alix the whole weekend about it, as well as discussing the fact that Marinette had been an idol for almost 3 years at this point. It was weird to think about.

It had also been a rabbit hole that he quickly fell into. He found interviews, fancams, TV features, live streams, and practice videos.

Don’t even get him started on the music videos.

Before he knew it, he had become a Titanium, as Marinette’s fans were apparently called.

Even after spending the better part of the weekend talking about this with Alix, they still managed to keep a conversation going about the major secret that Marinette had held.

They understood why she had kept it a secret, of course, Marinette had even mentioned it in an interview once. How everyone around her would feel disingenuine if their behavior changed, just because they knew about her career. She didn’t want that.

Still, Kim would fangirl over the fact that he was in the same class as an international star.

His and Alix’s discussion about which single was the best was cut short, however, by one comment.

“I can’t believe you know NeTi, Lila.”

Kim’s head shot up in the direction of Alya’s voice, and sure enough the rest of the class was surrounding Lila, like she was preaching heaven speak.

He saw Marinette too, frozen and pale, opening and closing her mouth, likely trying to find words to say.

She didn’t get the chance to say anything.

“Of course! I was the one who introduced her to Clara Nightingale as well.” Lila’s voice didn’t sound right in his ears, like it used to. “Clara had originally wanted me as her protegé, but I’m simply too busy with all of my charity work, I was forced to turn her down.”

Marinette was shaking. Her head, her hands, almost like she had been dumped in icy water.

Kim didn’t even know what to say, and only looked at Marinette with growing concern.

“But isn’t Marinette NeTi?”

The amount of happiness Kim saw taking over Marinette by just that made him want to punch a hole in the wall.

“Marinette?” Punch a hole in Lila, he meant. “Of course not, they just look alike, you know,” Kim really wanted to punch a hole in Lila. “Because they’re Asian.”

Kim saw Marinette’s anger flare, prepares to back her up when she snaps at Lila, notes Marinette opening her mouth-

She wilts like a flower in winter, and Kim follows her eyes.

Adrien.

He seemed to be looking at Marinette pleasingly, almost like he doesn’t-

The sick realization forces Kim to elbow Alix, because nothing seemed to be what it looked like anymore.

-

Marinette decided to head home.

She didn't know what else to do, but the thought of passing by Master Fu’s place later seemed rather appealing.

For now, the comforting weight of Tikki against her leg had to be enough, until she reached home.

When she reached the courtyard, however, she was stopped by a boy with black hair and a red hoodie.

It was Marc.

“Hey, Marinette, I was just, uhm, I was just wondering if maybe, you could, uh, you could sign this for me?”

Her eyes widened, tears welling up as she looked between him and the notebook he was holding out to her.

“I… I would love to.” Her voice was hoarse and thick with emotion, and Marinette was quick to cough in hopes of clearing it up a bit. “What- uhm, what would you like me to sign it as?”

“Could you maybe sign it Marinette ‘NeTi’ Dupain-Cheng for me?” He’s smiling, and Marinette can barely hold the tears back as she accepts the notebook and pen, doing her best to sign it well, hoping to not spill tears on the page.

She leaves a message for him, of course, and hugs him tightly when she’s done, whispering quiet thank you’s in hopes that he understands what he just did for her.

He waves goodbye as she leaves, and Marinette, despite still feeling the heaviness of Lila and Adrien weighing on her, takes a deep liberating breath, and smiles.

-_-_-_-

@ozmav @shizukiryuu @kuroko26 @fangirl-food-feelings @driftingmoonlitpetals @spicybelladonna @izzynuggets @thebookwormfairy @god-is-dead-and-so-am-i @melicmusicmagic @minightrose @graduatedmelon @awkwardturtlez @sizzling-fairy-oil @thornangelic727 @royalchaoticfangirl @vixen-uchiha @mewwitch @my-name-is-michell @mikantsume @imfreakingmagical @quuen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @constancetruggle @kae690 @resignedcatservant @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @drama-queen-supreme @derpingrainbow @captainmac6 @k-rena-k @lunar-wolf-warrior @skyel0ve @fandomfan315 @fanboy7794 @friedchikening @yin-390 @unholykrow @teresarosiadeviluke2112 @ayuchan07 @seraphichana @justanothersepticeyefan @politelyvicious @roseinbloom02 

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, Part 1.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you'll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like the scary example of what will happen when you don't obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: Man, Fez is just my main bitch from Euphoria. I just adore him the most. His breakfast is consistent with Respecting Women Juice™️ and Keeping His Shit Together Juice™️. He might not be the brightest man around, but I think he's gentle and caring. Like hell.

A/N: The reader is around 17 to 18 years old, not further explained, attending high school. Rue and the gang are around the same age and since Fezco's age was never actually clarified, let's go with 23.

A/N: This takes place in a universe where Jules was away for a while, but after a few months she came back to Rue.

Warnings: Talking about drugs, drug addiction, smoking, drinking alcohol. You know. Basically the normal lives of today's kids.

Word count: 3 K +/-

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Ever since you were a kid, the adults always told you that you can be whatever you would like to be. When you were five, they lied to you - they told you that you can be a pirate or a princess, or an astronaut or a zoo animal keeper for that matter. 

When you were ten, they usually started to be critical to you just as you started as well. You slowly realized that being a plumber or a social worker is maybe the place you were supposed to be, you started to base your imaginations off the reality. 

When you were fifteen, it all came together - you knew what should you do, what is off your limits and what stays in your boundaries. You could still be something even if you weren't the smartest or the funniest in your class, or the best of bureaucracy. 

And when you go to college you most likely know what you'll do with your life - that you would be a nurse, a teacher, a biologist or you know that you will not go to college at all. Sometimes the young people didn't even continue to college. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. It simply happens.

But they were the other ones - the people who weren't destined to have a normal life. Those who dropped out of high school and just started to live by their own rules and who tried their best to go through life without some bigger problems. 

Your mums usually told you not to be dumb, not to hang out around these people, stay out of their presence and ignoring them as well as you could. But some of them weren't that bad, they weren't the garbage of the society as your mums told you. 

Every one of them had a reason to be as they were - usually it was a reality-based reason, something that made a perfect sense when explained, a serious social issue. You just had to ask them - some of them became gang members to help their family financially, others had committed prostitution, some of them were part of the black market with guns. Most of their fates circled around money. Money, the thing you need to survive in this cruel, cruel world. 

Love meant a lot to those who wanted it. But money mattered way more. You needed money to survive - it was to survive or to be killed. No other options were remaining. 

You lived in a small town since you were born. Everyone knew everything about everyone. It was just as simple as that. It took you by surprise when your parents told you that you'll be moving out of your birth town in the next few weeks to some strange suburb on the other side of America. 

You heard that it actually snows there during winter which was a pleasant change from the hotness of Arizona. Also, it was nearer to the bigger cities of the United States - and you were pumped to visit them with your mum and siblings or cousins. To shop, to see something new, to actually get some experience.

“It isn't that bad. I like this place.” - Your little brother Cal called out as he stepped out of the truck. You carefully took the box out, almost tripped because of you untied old Converse shoes you still wore even after they tore apart near the base. You had an old, rainbow t-shirt on, it basically hung on your body because of how oversized it was, it covered your Adidas shorts completely. 

“New boys. New girls. Fresh start. No history. I love it,” - Francis, your older sister, said out loud. She came out of the closet four years ago and since then, she has dated numerous girls and boys. She was going to attend local college but you were sure that sooner or later, she will introduce you to another love of her life. - “And what about you, my little bean? You feel comfortable out here?” - She hung an arm around your shoulder and you gave her a nod. 

You weren't exactly the happiest about moving out of the town you have known your whole life so well, but both of your siblings were right. The neighborhood seemed to be quiet, safe, clean and nice, just an ideal place to base a family life in. Bikes were thrown around, the kid's screams of amusement could be heard just as the birds sang and the wind around you felt wet and yet warm in a nice way.

“Come on, you golden trio. You are unpacking your things for what seems like a whole eternity! We brought some pizza and Thai if you want some!” - Your mom shouted out of the front door with a huge smile, holding the plastic bag as proof for you. 

“Go.” - Your sis patted your shoulder and got into the truck to shut the back door completely, preventing stealing. You did not wait for her, you looked at your legs, how the fresh green grass breaks under your feet and the soles of your shoes, being careful about not fall down. 

Your mum always told you to tie your shoelaces but you never really listened since you were a small kid. It resulted in a lot of falling down, bruises, abrasion and you crying loud. But you learned how to walk with your shoelaces undone. It was your own choice, after all, you chose not to tie them - and they told you all along that your life depends on what you want and what you don't want. 

Your parent always told you how easy it actually is to live in your generation - that you can use cellphones, that you can use the internet, that they are taking care of everything you could probably need. 

You thought about it a lot - and you came to an opinion. It was not easy at all. To live in your age. It felt more like surviving than living for real. The drugs were easily accessible for the younglings - even your big sis was a serious stoner back in your hometown and you knew that it will not take long her to find the local dealer and become friends with him. The cyberbullying was a serious issue that made a lot of people's life worse, the bullies could easily find your personal information, your old photos, they could make fun or a living nightmare of you and your life. And when your nudes leaked out? Holy shit, you were fucked like hell.

Yeah. You were a high-schooler. But let's face it - almost everyone who tried to make a move with someone or who was in a relationship had sent a nude at some point in their life. It was some kind of a norm for the children your age. 

You were constantly in danger thanks to the great internet and that was a fact. The adults tried to teach you how to behave on the internet... But truly, did any of you actually give a crap? Every one of us took it as bullshit, not taking them too seriously. Who was actually safe around you? Drugs, alcohol, sex, porn, cigarettes, money everywhere around you. 

It was so easy to become corrupted. Just like everyone around you. 

You were not that innocent at all as well - your big sis was really popular back in your hometown - she was truly smart, she was funny, she used drugs and smoked, drank regularly. She was invited basically to every party in the town. Some of them were wild, some of them were pretty muted thanks to weed and ecstasy which was always distributed there. 

You smoked at the parties and did some shots - that wasn't so bad. Kids your age did a way worse thing at those parties. 

Your mum and dad knew that you and your sis attended some parties but they didn't know that there were drugs and alcohol present. You were the Sunday church raised children after all (which didn't mean that your parents discriminated or turn their backs to their oldest child when she said she's into girls a lot), they trusted you.

They often laughed that they have done it too. Sure, you smiled usually, but did you see a girl who is dozed off after Lexauryne, have you felt the actual fear about her life? Have you ever seen what shit Valium or heroin does to someone? Have your friend almost jumped off the roof when they took too much LSD? But you never said anything out loud. 

You have seen things. But everyone did. It wasn't easy to be a teenager in your age. 

Every one of your friends slowly became one of those types your parents always warned you about - at least a part of them was just like the people they talked about to scare you off. Maybe you were one of those people as well. What could you know?

You had your dinner with the typical witty sense of humor of your parents and the usual bickering between you, your little bro and older sis. You felt safe at those moments, away from reality, just chilling with your fam. 

The next morning was your first actual day of school after a weekend of moving in. Your dad went to his new workplace for the first time and your sis and your mum stayed home to continue with unpacking.

"You should get up or you seriously will not go to school on time." - Your mum peeked into your room and you just mumbled something in response when Fran took your bed with her monster attack as you called, tickling you, kissing you into your hair and laughing along with you.

"Get your lazy ass off the bed, ma's right. I'll ride you to school." - She laughed and laid next to you, looking you in the face. You smiled at her, smoothed your hair and yawned. - "Ah shit, you thought about that again, didn't you? You'll be just fine. This is a good neighborhood, ma and pa told us yesterday. Nobody will shove a knife on your neck and threaten you to do drugs or take your money. Nobody will take your pics while you pee. I swear. You'll be alright, baby girl." - She kissed your forehead tenderly.

Fran always said that you worry about too many things. And she often said that you're way more adult than she'll ever be. But she didn't forget to mention that it's harming you a lot in a way.

"So that's how you make girls fall for you. I see it now." - You teased her. She took a pillow and smacked your head with it. But she laughed. Then Fran stood up and stopped at your door to take a last good look at her baby sister. - "Get your lazy ass up and have some good breakfast. We have something about forty-five minutes before you, I and the last shithead would have to go. Go get 'em, tiger!" - She yelled and clapped her hands, letting you alone.

You got the smallest room - Fran demanded the one on the second floor, saying it was for her study purposes. She lied. It was the only room with a balcony and she needed to smoke weed somewhere. Your brother had the second room because he could be a little brat and a pain in the ass sometimes. So you and your parents had the room on the first floor.

But you liked it. It was easier to make it comfortable and you could open a big window to look out on the street. And you had a big bed nonetheless so you were just fine about your new room.

You better did what Fran said - took some of your other shorts from your wardrobe, then you took out your favorite Lion King oversized t-shirt with Rafiki printed on it and you completed with a big ass hoodie which reaches up to the middle of your thighs. You put on some high socks on because you loved the look of them rolled down to your Converse shoes.

You cleaned your face and brushed your teeth and hair, putting it into a bun which was all over the place as always, then you tried to make your face more appealing with some eyeliner and mascara but in your eyes, you looked like a mess. You put your old, torn apart but trustworthy backpack over your shoulder and took off to the kitchen. Everyone was already eating, dad reading the news on his phone as he always used to.

"I don't want bacon!" - Cal yelled almost frantically and that almost freaked the living hell out of you. He loved bacon. What was his deal?

"What is it, young man?" - Mum asked and looked at him. Thanks to Fran's shit-eating grin you knew that she's the one responsible.

“I must declare that I am a proud vegetarian from now on.” - Cal said with a serious face and you just burst out of laughing. Cal was always like that. Smart pants. But he never was socially awkward. He just used some words that were too complicated for a boy his age.

“Oh really?” - You mum asked with a surprised face, watching all of you with her witty jokes prepared face. - “And why is that? Y/N will love to have some more bacon.” - And so it was. Another three slices to your empty, hungry stomach. Maybe Cal's sudden vegetarianism had some plusses to it. 

“Fran told me that it will make me more appealing in front of the girls. And I am a ladies man.” - Cal told with a serious face and that was the moment Fran’s grinning face bursted out of laughter as well. 

“You're also only thirteen years old, pal. No girls until you're at least sixteen. But you do you.” - Your dad said all of a sudden. You loved them so much it sometimes took you by a surprise. 

Then, when the breakfast was over, you went out to your sister’s car. Your dad had one and Fran was given your mum’s car. Your ma said shell take the bus to work so it's ok for Fran to have her own car to do her business with. 

“Okay, shithead one and shithead two. Are you ready for your first venture to the big, scary world?” - Fran joked and waves to ma when you were doing your seatbelt on the co-driver’s side.

“Bring it.” - You said, turning the radio on. It was a station you didn't know, some new hip hop songs. But it was enjoyable, so you just let it play, rolling the window down, leaning your crossed elbows into it. You were aware that your hair will be even messier after that, but you wanted to feel the actual atmosphere and energy of your new hometown.

You felt free from your burdens once again - the hip hop was almost screaming out of your car, the air felt cold between your hair and the sun shined on your skin gently. You were watching the new, strange people who lived there, walking in schools direction, groups of friends, some alone kids, some kids were riding bikes. 

It seemed to be like your old home yet it didn't feel like it. Something was just out of its place and weren’t sure if you can put that thing back. 

The car slowly drove next to some gas station or a small shop, you couldn't tell. But something caught your eye - a boy standing with his back turned to the car, in a long sky blue shirt with some clouds painted on it, jeans and a seriously short hair which color you couldn't figure out. You stuck your head out of the window, inhaling that view until you could. 

Something drawn your eyes in his direction, something told you that you should watch him. He was smoking, that was for sure, and moving his hands, probably talking with someone. 

The boy slowly disappeared because of some other building but you would swear that he turned in your direction as well. The air you were holding in slowly came out of your lungs as you slowly leaned to your seat. Francis was watching you but remained silent, just smoked her cigarette with her right wrist out of her window.

When the car stopped, Cal was almost immediately out of it, saying goodbye to you and Fran, but you remained there, leaning more and more down, trying to be invisible for the others.

“Chop chop, out of the car. You will have a great first day at your new school and you will find some friends.” - Fran told with a smile, smoothing your naked knee with her palm. 

“How can you know?” - Your gaze fell on the big hall leading to the main entrance, to all of those strange people there. That didn't feel right. You were scared for your life - new surroundings, new people, new feelings. How many of them tried some drugs? Will you even find someone to be friends with? The feeling inside you felt like exploding, the unsureness, the unknown, the fear. 

“Because I know your little bratty ass since the fucking day youve been born, dumbass.” - She laughed and undid your seatbelt, opening the door for you. - “Show those bastards who you are and that you are not afraid.” 

And with that, you got up and watched as Fran waved you and took off in her car. And you felt lost.

[orangeoctopi7]

Family Fun Day

The latest chapter of the Spider Stan AU is here!

Stanford came down to breakfast well-rested and refreshed Saturday morning. Fiddleford was supposed to get back tomorrow night and while Ford was still hurt that his best friend would lie to him, he was eager to finally start making some headway on the portal project. Stan, on the other hand, came into the kitchen looking as disheveled as his brother had ever seen him. There were dark bags under his eyes, and he was still wearing the same clothes he’d had on last night, now wrinkled as an old man. Ford figured this was approximately what he himself had looked like during finals week in college.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” The researcher asked his brother.

Stan gave a negative grunt and made a bee-line for the coffee maker.

“What kept you up?” Ford asked curiously.

His brother shrugged. “Readin’.”

“That’s… not like you.”

“Uh… couldn’t sleep. Started reading through some of your nerd stuff, hoping it’d bore me to sleep. Didn’t work.” Stan crossed his arms and glared at an innocuous spot on the ceiling.

“Oh. Well, if you need help sleeping in the future, I’ve developed some meditation techniques that have helped me.”

Stan took several long slurps of coffee and a few mouthfuls of cold cereal before responding. “Nah. I’m just too stressed.”

“Yes, meditation is meant to help with that.”

“We both been workin’ too hard! We needa take a day off and have some fun!” Stan continued right over his brother’s comment on meditation. “McWhozit’s been havin’ fun in California this whole time, playin’ with his kid, makin’ love to his wife. We deserve a break too!”

“I thought we had fun the other day while we were weight-testing the web shooters.”

“Well, sure, but that was mixin’ work an’ pleasure. I mean actually taking a break . No tests, no studies, no scientific observation. When’s the last time you did that?”

“Well, there was the night I spent at the Corduroy's cabin… although, it turned out to be haunted. I learned a great deal about ghosts, though.”

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, that. That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talkin’ about. Even when you’re supposed to be takin’ it easy, you end up doing research and/or almost dying. But not today! I officially declare this Family Fun Day! I’m gonna make sure you take a break. What do you do for fun in this hick town?”

Ford rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Well… there’s an arcade downtown. I hear they just got a new, cutting-edge game!”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Ugh, nerd stuff.”

“Oh, come on, there’s plenty of games where you punch things! You’ll love it!”

“Alright, fine. If that’s what you really wanna do, I’ll give it a shot.”

* * *

The arcade was small, dark, and noisy. Stan was honestly surprised his brother liked it here. He remembered his brother liking quiet, brightly lit places, like the window seat at the library, or an empty beach. The arcade was… overstimulating.

First, Ford dragged him over to what was apparently the newest and most popular game in the whole place. The art on the side of the cabinet showed a gorilla carrying off a damsel in distress, chased by a guy with a red hat and big mustache. It reminded Stan of one of his favorite Harry Claymore movies. Unfortunately, it seemed like every kid and nerd in town wanted to play this game.

“They really should devise a system where they can call up your number when it’s your turn to play.” Ford grumbled as he looked at the long line crowded around the console. “Well, I’m fairly sure that’s just a single-player anyway. Let’s find something cooperative.”

“Um, ok.” Stan followed his brother to another cabinet with no line. It was painted black, with the words BIRD FIGHT written in fancy script at the top, and a knight riding a beautiful white bird flying across the side. Stan watched the pixels move across the screen. “So in this game, you play as a sword-wielding knight… riding a swan?”

Ford scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I know it’s silly, but it’s a really fun cooperative game.”

“Are you kidding?” Stan laughed. “That’s the most intimidating thing I’ve ever seen! I tried to break into a mansion with swans on the grounds once. They gave me way more trouble than any guard dog ever did. I almost lost an eye!”

Stan struggled to learn the controls, despite Ford’s efforts to explain them to him. It had a control stick, but it only went left or right. To fly, you had to repeatedly tap the button to flap the swan’s wings. Stop flapping, and you would slowly descend.

“This is dumb.” Stan complained as he died a second time. “Why can’t I go up and down usin’ the stick thing? And how’d my guy get all the way on the other side of the screen all of a sudden!?”

“It’s a wrap around.” Ford replied, as though that meant something.

They made it through the first wave of enemies, mostly thanks to Ford, but it wasn’t long until Stan lost all four of his lives and he was stuck just watching his brother play, because he refused to waste more quarters on this thing. “This is too complicated.” He huffed.

“Well, let’s play something a little simpler.” Ford suggested. They wandered to the back of the arcade, Ford looking over all the different options, trying to decide which one Stan would enjoy. A light gray-and-black cabinet in a dark corner caught his eye. “Hmm, I haven’t seen this one before… Corner of Contradiction? Looks like a beat-em-up, I’m sure you’d enjoy that.”

The controls were certainly more straightforward than Bird Fight. There was a control stick to move your character around the screen, one button labeled “PUNCH”, the other labeled “JUMP”. Enemies always came in from the right side of the screen, so Stan didn’t have to split his attention as much either. He definitely took to this one much more quickly than the last game, but he was still clearly lagging behind Ford in skill. They made it through a whole level before Stan finally ran out of lives again, and Ford knelt down to add some more quarters to allow him to continue playing.

“Oh, what’s this?” The researcher paused when something caught his eye. When he stood back up, he was holding a small scrap of paper with some sort of symbols scribbled onto it. “Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A…” He read out loud. “I suppose B could be the jump button…” Ford input the code, and suddenly both of their life counters read 30. “Fantastic!”

Stan groaned. “We’re gonna spend all day playin’ this game!”

“Aren’t you having fun?” Ford shot him a concerned glance.

“Well sure, but I don’t wanna stay here playin’ this one game through 30 lives, even if I am losing three of them a minute!”

Ford smirked. “You’re just jealous that I’m actually better than you at fighting for once.”

“Please.” Stan scoffed. “Pushin’ a button isn’t fighting. If any of these games were anything like real fighting, I’d cream you.”

Ford’s face lit up. “I think I know just the game!” Once again, he led Stan through the arcade, this time coming to a stop at a very old game cabinet decorated like the American Flag. Instead of buttons or a control stick, it had two red boxing gloves attached to levers. PIXELWEIGHT CHAMP by SHMEGA the sign at the top read.

Stan grinned and cracked his knuckles. “Now this is more like it!”

The gloves were a little small, obviously meant for children, but Stan managed to squeeze his hands in. It wasn’t exactly like real boxing, but he still preferred it to the clunky control sticks and buttons of the other games. This game could tell if he was punching up, down, or even swinging a hook! Ford, for his part, seemed happy to just stand and watch his brother play for a while.

Stan made it through several bouts before finally reaching the final boss. It was the first opponent the game had thrown at him that really gave him any trouble. It kept on dodging every blow he aimed at the computerized contender. Finally, in a fit of frustration, he fell back on his signature move.

“Left Hook!” he shouted.

The left-hand controller ripped out of the cabinet with a metallic shriek and a sputter of sparks.

The twins gaped at the broken and now lightly smoking game before them.

“Time to go.” Stan said quickly, dropping the broken controller on the floor.

“Agreed.”

* * *

“Welp, that was a disaster.” Stan grunted as they sped away in his car. “Hopefully nobody calls the cops.”

“Perhaps, but at least I finally found a game you had fun with.” Ford smiled as he jotted down the cheat code he’d learned earlier in his Journal.

“Yeah, but now we got nothin’ to do for the rest of the day. Yeesh, this car is like an oven.” Stan griped, rolling down the windows. “There a pool in this town?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t recommend we go there.” Ford made a disgusted face. “It’s not exactly sanitary and I have reason to believe one of the life guards is a berserker.”

Stan grimaced. “Yeah, public pools are basically like underwater public busses. But it’s just so stinkin’ hot!”

Ford flipped absentmindedly through his Journal, suddenly stopping when a particular page caught his eye. “We should go to the beach!”

“I ain’t drivin three hours back to Portland just for the beach.”

“No, the beach at Lake Gravity Falls. It’s not exactly like the beach we grew up with but… it does remind me of home.”

“Alright, beach it is! Let’s swing back to your place and grab some swim stuff.”

* * *

The lakeside beach was very different from Glass Shard Beach. For one, it smelled a lot better. The shade of the surrounding cliffs and trees were much welcomed relief from the burning sun. Still, the gentle lapping waves of the lake were nothing compared to the majesty of the ocean. Ford didn’t have an extra pair of swim trunks, so Stan had to acquire some from the nearby bait and tackle shop while his brother wasn’t looking.

“Strange.” Ford mused as he observed the deserted lakeshore. “Given the extreme temperatures and the impending start of the school year, I expected this place to be packed.”

“It was, this mornin’.” The grizzled old lady who ran the bait and tackle shop wheezed ominously. “But somethin’ washed ashore that spooked ‘em all away!”

“What was it?” The researcher asked excitedly.

“Oh no you don’t!” Stan grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. “Family Fun Day, remember?”

“A giant tooth!” The woman cackled.

“Stanley, come on!” Ford pleaded.

“You need a break, genius!”

“Wasn’t this morning at the arcade enough?”

“Nope. Not for how long you’ve been without one. Now put on some sunblock. This tooth thingy will still be there tomorrow.”

“I bet you twenty dollars it won’t.”

“You should really know better than to bet against me by now.”

* * *

Stan found them a spot on the beach with plenty of shade from a large tree, with plenty of branches hanging over the water, and a couple of large fallen logs that made a good place to sit and leave their stuff without getting sand in everything.

“Y’know, it’s a good thing nobody else is here. Cuz look what I brought!” Stan pulled out one of the web shooters. “The world’s greatest rope swing!”

When Ford didn’t answer, he looked up to see his brother standing on the taller of the two logs, a pair of binoculars in hand, staring at a spot about a mile up the beach where Stan could see the giant tooth the old lady had mentioned. It was easily the size of his car. Ford stuffed the binoculars in his pocket, started a quick sketch in his Journal, and picked them up again for another look. Stan rolled his eyes with a sigh, put on the web shooter, and thwiped a line onto the binoculars, yanking them away with a flick of his wrist.

“Hey!” Ford whined.

“Hey yourself. We’re here to have fun, remember?”

“This is fun to me!” the researcher steamed.

“I know, nerd, but if you keep on working every day without takin’ a break every once in a while, even if it is fun for you, you’re gonna run yourself ragged!”

Ford grumbled, but he couldn’t help but see the sense in his brother’s words. He really hadn’t stopped studying and exploring and theorizing in the past six and a half years, not even for a day. And yet before Bill had proposed the idea of discovering the dimension of weirdness, he’d felt stuck in a rut. He still did, in some respects. Could it be due to burnout?

Still, he wasn’t about to tell Stan he was right. He put his Journal down with a beleaguered sigh. “It’s probably just something to do with the height-altering crystals.” He then looked up with a grin. “So, are you proposing a jumping contest?”

“You know it!” Stan shot a line up to the highest sturdy branch he could find hanging over the lake. “So, has this gauntlet got like, I dunno, a quick release button or something?”

“Actually, it should be waterproof.”

“Should be?”

“Well, I never got around to testing it.”

“Why does that not surprise me? Alright, I’ll take first swing.”

“Why do you get the first swing?” Ford protested.

“Because I’m the one who’s used these things the most, and I’m the most likely to survive if something goes wrong.”

The researcher rolled his eyes, but let his brother proceed with the first swing. Stan ran down the beach, lept off one of the logs, and let the line swing him over the water, where he released the line and sailed forward into the lake with a resounding splash.

“How was that?” Stan asked as soon as he poked his head back out of the water.

“Amateurish!” Ford grinned smugly. “You weren’t even close to the maximum distance of your swing, and your release arc was shallow.”

“Alright, Dr. Physics, let’s see you do better!” Stan splashed him and then threw the web shooter to the shore.

Ford ran along the largest log, leaping off the end towards the water before firing the web shooter up at a high branch. The line held fast, and whipped him out over the water. Just at the farthest point of the pendulum swing, Ford swung his legs out for a little more momentum, then released the line, throwing himself in a long arc before finally crashing down into the lake. He’d almost doubled Stan’s distance.

“Hah!” Ford laughed triumphantly as he swam back to shore.

“Pch, I can do that.” Stan scoffed.

“Well then, why didn’t you?”

“Cuz I didn’t know how until you just showed me, genius.”

Stan’s second attempt followed Ford’s example. He ran along the log and jumped into the air, but he could jump much higher than his brother, and his enhanced senses allowed him to pinpoint exactly where the best place to anchor for his line would be in that split-second of air-time. As the line stretched over the water, Stan shifted his weight and his grip, basically throwing himself off the end of the swing. He practically flew over the water before splashing down, easily doubling his brother’s distance.

“The student has become the master.” Stan grinned when he saw Ford’s shocked expression. They continued to use the web shooters as a rope swing for another couple of hours, each of them improving their techniques to go higher and farther each time, although Ford could never beat Stan’s distance again. Eventually, the researcher gave up on improving his own distance, and set about figuring out how to help Stan break his own record.

“It’s all about momentum.” Ford explained. “You’ve already perfected throwing yourself off the line at the farthest point of the pendulum’s swing, in order to produce the farthest arc you can. In order for you to reach even further into the lake, you’ll need more momentum, and at this point, the best way to add more momentum is to chain together more swings.”

“So, like we were doin’ in the forest a few days ago?”

“Exactly.”

Stan felt his stomach churn at the memory of how the branch had snapped, how he’d unexpectedly started falling. He wasn’t exactly afraid of heights anymore… he was just afraid of being up high and something going wrong. Still, he’d really gotten the hang of swinging today, and chances were even if something did go wrong, he’d just splash down into the lake. That would be fine.

“Ok, I’ll give it a shot.”

Stan climbed up one of the big pine trees a few yards back from the beach, found a sturdy branch to stand on, picked out his first anchor, and leapt into the air. Time seemed to slow down as he reached the end of his first swing. He picked out another anchor over the lake, released his first line, and swung out above the water. He could feel his own weight pulling him forward even as he came to the end of his rope, the momentum Ford had been going on about. Stan just shifted to let the weight carry him on further, and let go of the line. The air rushed past him as he continued up another foot before gravity finally started to overcome his forward motion. When he finally splashed into the water, he was so far from the shore, his brother looked like a little doll.

“Hah, I’m gonna be half-way into the lake if I go any further!” Stan laughed when he finally made it back to shore.

“You probably could, if you got swinging fast enough. Or if we added more weight.”

“More weight, huh?” Stan mused.

“I suppose we could stick water bottles to you, like we did with the car, although I fear that may increase the risk of a bad belly-flop….” Ford trailed off as he saw his brother grinning mischievously at him. “What?”

“I know a way we can double our weight.”

“‘We’? Oh no, no, no, no. No!”

* * *

“The greatest mystery is how I let you talk me into these things.” Ford grumbled, clinging to his brother’s back like a baby monkey.

“Quit your whining, I’m the one who’s afraid of heights.”

“...I honestly thought you were over that. What with the climbing buildings and all.”

“Eh, it’s complicated. I’m still not great with heights, but if I have something sturdy to hold onto or a reliable way to catch myself, it doesn’t bother me as much.”

They reached the large branch that Stan had used for a jumping-off platform before. Stan lined up his first anchor while Ford tried his best not to throw his brother off-balance. “You ready?” The Spider Man asked.

Ford took a deep breath before nodding. “Ready.”

At first, it wasn’t too different from the rope swing, except now he was holding onto his brother’s shoulders for dear life. Then they reached the end of the first pendulum swing and Ford felt his stomach leap up as they briefly achieved weightlessness. Then the forward yank of the next line set his heart racing as they shot up, over the water. There was one final moment of weightlessness, and Ford let out a holler of delight before finally dunking into the water.

It was better than any roller-coaster.

They came up out of the water gasping and laughing, splashing and shouting with triumph. It wasn’t exactly half-way into the lake, but they’d certainly gone farther than ever before. Unfortunately, that also meant it was a much farther swim back to shore. By the time they got back, the sun was starting to set.

“Welp, better lay down and dry off in the sun while we still can.” Stan mused, pulling off the web shooter and trying to find a spot on the log that wasn’t covered in shade.

“Actually, I think I know a faster way to dry off.” Ford picked up the gauntlet and gave his brother a significant look.

“Really, you wanna go again?”

“Just the swinging bit. The air rushing past us will dry us off in no time.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Alright, if you’re sure.”

The second time wasn’t nearly as scary to Ford, although he got the feeling Stan was still a little apprehensive about swinging with a passenger. Still, they swung through the trees together with little problem. It was thrilling. And while it certainly dried them off, the rushing air coupled with the dropping air temperature presented a new problem.

“Cccold!” Stan stuttered as they came to a stop back at the beach where they had left their things. He quickly changed back into his jeans and a jacket.

“We’ll have to remember to do this to dry off while the sun is still high, in the future.”

“Oh, so you’re sayin’ you’d do Family Fun Day again?”

Ford rolled his eyes, but smiled. “I’m sure you’ll force me to take breaks more often than once every six years.”

DOG KLJQ TTIE Y KUZ LLW? BHMB L QSODM QCXT! U KLL’Y WMQE RT FUVLJQY EPZU DOGZ HMWLP PZU YO DMLJQY BICRD!

[fanaticwritings]

smoke and mirrors- [prologue]

pairing: tom holland x reader

words: 1k

a/n: i am not writing a summary for this because the prologue is a summary of sorts. this is an idea that has been stuck with me since forever, in fact i started writing something like this for another character but tumblr fucked up and nobody really read it. @keepingupwiththeparkers' beautiful writing made me want to start writing again and if you're reading this, i'd like to say thank you. so much. (p.s: you don't have to read this story!) anyway, i promise that this fic is going to be real good. the idea real appeals to me and I'm gonna try my level best to execute it. it's not your normal ceo x reader; it's full of suspense, heart breaks, a LOT of fluff and a bit of smut. so please give this a read and i hope you stick around! thank you xo

//

The steady hum of the engine died as the black sedan came to a screeching halt. The chauffeur got out as you waited in the backseat, straightening the hem of your dress.

A second later, the door to your right opened and you were instantly blinded by a thousand flashes.

Unfazed, you stepped out of the car with effortless elegance that now came to you naturally.

Still blinded but unbothered, you trudged up the stairs to the hall, heels clicking behind you.

"Who are you wearing today, Ms.Y/N?"

"What is the next big thing for Winchester Corp?"

"Are you seeing Mr. Osterfield?"

"Holland & Co. remains to be your biggest competition even today. Thoughts?"

The paparazzi was as merciless and as invasive as ever. They didn't care about you being one of the youngest woman CEO of Manhattan, your personal life seemed to be of a prime importance.

"Winchester Corp has a lot in store for the public, some of which you will be seeing soon," you answered, flashing a radiant smile at the reporter.

You continued to answer other questions about the company for a while, ignoring personal questions all together.

You were thankful when you reached the top of the stairs and walked into the majestic hall, leaving the swarm of cameras behind you.

The interior of the hall was breathtaking. Large, crystal chandeliers hung from the white ceiling. Mosaic paintings of pictures from what looked like Roman Mythology adorned the walls that surrounded you. You recognized some of the stories, fondly remembering how much mythology had intrigued you when you were a child. Further down the hall, round, decorated tables were set up all around a raised platform. The architecture reminded you of a Roman cathedral which, perhaps, this place was.

There were a lot of people in the hall, some you recognized and most you didn't.

The Manhattan Gala was always like this.

Business tycoons, big shots of the city and some other important people you didn't bother remembering the names of, were the small group of people that were invited to the gala.

"Hello, Miss Y/N," a chaperone called to grab your attention and handed you a card with your name as well as the number of the table that was assigned to you.

You met a couple of business associates on the way to your allocated seat and a blond big shot who's name you failed to recall.

Before long you ran into Rachel Allen, chairman of another large scale company in the market. Her name you knew because she was always up in everyone's business and tired everybody easily.

"Hey, Y/N. Gosh, you look amazing! Is that Krutz you're wearing?" she cooed, giving you a smile that didn't exactly match her zestful tone.

Before you could reply, however, she gasped looking behind you, "Oh. Look who it is."

Ignoring her, curious as to who it could possibly be, you glanced over your shoulder, following her gaze to whoever she was looking at.

Even from across the room, his brown eyes were disarming.

*

Tom Holland was gifted with a natural and charming persona.

He was also sweet and gentle, which made him popular with the ladies. The fact that he was the CEO of a multi-million dollar company was only an added bonus. They flocked to him like birds to prey, almost fighting for attention. But little did they know he had eyes for one woman only.

He held Y/N's gaze for a long second, mouth twitching, before turning to the slightly older woman who was currently shaking his hand.

"Remember that you can always reach out to me," she was saying and Tom really hadn't been following so he only nodded, smiling.

Harrison Osterfield, his closest friend, caught up with him just then and Tom sighed in relief. He did enjoy being around people but only the kind who's names he at least remembered.

"If another person asks me about the shit with Winchester Corp, I'm gonna walk out of here," he blurted to Harrison, who

chuckled lightly, patting his shoulder.

"Mate, you wanted that to happen."

Tom shrugged, rolling his eyes.

They sat down at their table, exchanging plesantaries with those who sat with them.

The host of the evening was soon up on the stage, engaging in light-hearted humor. She then moved onto the performances that were lined up for the event and the crowd cheered.

Before they knew it, two hours had passed. The cultural dances and music had been really worth the while and since the charity gala was for such a good cause, Tom didn't complain much.

The crowd broke apart for dinner, later and once again the socialities resumed.

"I'm going to grab some food with Liz," Harrison informed him, gesturing towards the aisle that lead to the dining area.

"You'll be okay?"

"More than," Tom answered.

He grinned when Harrison shot him a knowing look and left to fetch his girlfriend.

He sat then, at his table, observing the crowd around him. People were shaking hands and laughing their hearts out, so much so, that to an outsider it would've looked like a merry affair. But only they themselves knew that it was all, mostly, a facade.

Events like these were more about expanding your networks and showing off your wealth. Little did they care about building real relationships.

Tom quite hated the atmosphere but certain things he could have no control of. Besides, he had even grown used to this, being in the business for so long.

He glanced around once more, only to catch Y/N looking at him again. She held his stare for a moment and then got up, straightening the long, velvet-black dress that she was wearing. She tucked a stray curl behind her ear and said something to the woman next to her.

He watched her make her way through the crowd and disappear behind one of the giant pillars in a far corner of the hall.

He looked at his rolex; 10:45 it told him. He waited a heartbeat before stalking off in the same direction as Y/N. As an afterthought he wondered if he should've waited a little longer. He decided that he didn't care.

The brain does as the heart wills.

He took short, cautious steps but it wasn't long before he had turned left into a dark aisle behind one of the pillars and caught up with her.

She was leaning against the railing of a staircase that lead to god knows where, her gown shimmering slightly in the dark.

"You look quite lovely, Miss L/N," he said, approaching her coolly, the hint of a smile playing at his lips.

*

You watched him get closer, straightening the cuffs of his black tux. All of his hair was gelled to a side except for a tiny unrelenting curl. You smiled to yourself.

"You don't look too bad yourself, Mr. Holland," you said, biting down on your lip as he drew closer.

There wasn't much distance between you two at all, but Tom took his time. Despite being shrouded in complete darkness you could feel his gaze travel down your figure, leaving you with a feeling of being completely bare.

Bastard.

The next thing you knew, you were being pulled towards him; a sharp tug of your arm resulting in you being thrown against his chest.

You couldn't suppress the soft chuckle that burst out of your lips when he buried his face into the nape of you neck, his hands encircling your waist.

"I missed you, darlin," he murmered, his breath warm on your skin.

"I did too," you whispered, throwing your arms around his neck as he drew back.

You stood pressed together for a while, noses brushing against the other's. The noise from the hall didn't quite reach this area, so all you could hear was Tom breathe deeply and his heart beat against your own.

You'd been doing this for two long years now, whole seven hundred and thirty days of it, but it wasn't enough.

It would never be enough.

And then Tom was kissing you, full and slow, taking his time to drink you in. He pulled you impossibly close, tiny hills forming on your skin at the touch.

Your lips fell into a routine, nipping and sucking at his own. You remembered how sloppy it had been the very first time. But now all of his being, every inch of his skin was etched into your memory. You couldn't get it wrong if you tried.

You felt him push you against the railing, the wood poking you slightly, as he deepened the kiss. It was a welcome pain. His hands squeezed your waist as one of your own fisted his hair.

"My place tonight?" he murmured against your lips when you had to break apart for air.

"Okay," you answered, slightly out of breath.

Being in a relationship when you were owners of giant companies wasn't easy at all. And the fact that your companies were arch rivals didn't help either.

Your relationship was the most private of affairs. Not a soul, bar a few friends, knew about it. To protect yourselves from being mercilessly prodded and judged, you played along with the rumors of you hating each other's guts. But it also meant that you could never be seen together in public, which made things... difficult.

Perhaps it was a part of the reason why you had made it so far. Perhaps it was because the universe willed it to be so.

Because you both thought, even though neither had admitted it, that you had found your soulmate.

It was the most perfect thing.

Until, it wasn't.

//

Tagging:

@lil-writes @captiveties @imaginingthefandoms @fangirlingonrhys @killbillls @borkystank @miklsnvengers @bunnie-kookie @silverreading @skz-in-ncity @estate-euphoric @tragicluver @aestheticgaybish @rororo06 @forever-stuck-in--neverland @sholland4

[want to be tagged? send an ask/ comment below!]

Please leave feedback, I'd be forever grateful!

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ Autumn Wind (Hikaru Amane) [o1/o2]

Genre: Friendship, Fluff, Comedy, Angst

Word Count: 2,483

Pairing: Reader x Davide

World: Prince of Tennis

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

“No way!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!!”

“No!!”

Momoshiro whined, glaring at you as you leaned against the wall of a nearby building.

“Just let it go, Momo-senpai.” Ryoma sighed, standing off to the side and watching the two of you with little interest.

“C’mon! Ple~ase!” Momo clapped his hands together, sticking his trembling bottom lip out.

“No, Momo!” you growled, glaring harder at the black-haired boy who scowled in response.

Momoshiro claims to be starving and happens to be broke. Ryoma is also hungry, and also has no money. You, on the other hand, had just gotten paid. Can you piece it together?

“I’ll be your best friend!”

“That gives me even more reason to keep saying no.” You scoffed, pushing off the wall and taking off down the street. Momo followed like a lost puppy, all the way to your house. You kicked your shoes off and went into the living room, plopping down on the couch. Momo sat on the floor next to you, looking up at you with an expectant face, while pulling off the puppy pout at the same time. Ryoma had taken the seat next to you, his eyes on the television as it played the popular cartoon, Pongebob Circlepants.

“Y/N~!” Momo whined again, resting his head on your leg which had been propped up on the coffee table, “Be a nice host and make me some food!”

“Momoshiro,” A vein appeared next to your eye as you clenched your fist around a pillow and threw it at his face, sending him to the floor with a yelp and a thud.

Ryoma sniggered, glancing at Momo before looking back at the TV.

“Oi! What’s going on down here?!” Your older brother, Harukaze, appeared with his best friend, Hikaru, at his side.

You kept your gaze on the wooden floor, refusing to look at Hikaru. You’ve had a huge crush on your brother’s best friend for two years now and you found it hard to even look at him. If your brother knew, though, he would kill you. Besides, you were convinced that Davide had no interest in you and he probably had a girlfriend already.

Momo whined, removing the pillow from his red face, “Your sibling is mean!”

Your eye twitched as you stood up, voice strained in an attempt to keep calm. “I’m the mean one? You’re the idiot who won’t shut up about food for more than three freaking seconds!”

“It’s only polite to offer food to guests!” he retorted, getting up off the floor and getting into your face.

“Polite, my ass!” You grabbed the collar of his shirt in your fist and he did the same as a strand of electricity connected your blazing eyes to one another.

“Oi! Oi!” The two of you were pulled away from each other, but that didn’t stop the staring contest you held. Five minutes later, Momo scoffed and looked away, glaring at the window.

You smirked in victory but quickly frowned when you realized something important; Bane was holding onto Momo, which meant only one thing - Davide was the one with his arm around your waist, holding you to his chest as his hand rested on your shoulder.

You gulped, tilting your head down so that your hair covered your eyes. “Um… I have to err… go… read something…” You shoved him away from you and ran out of the room, up the stairs, and into your bedroom. Sliding down the door, you put your hand over your face, feeling the burn against your skin. ‘Go read something? Honestly? That’s the best I could come up with?! Why, oh why, did he have to be the one guy I always make a fool out of myself in front of?’

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

“What… was that about?” Bane asked, looking at the doorway with a confused expression on his face.

“I dunno,” Momo muttered.

Ryoma pulled his hat down over his eyes. Was he the only one that noticed you responded like that because of Davide? No, Davide realized it too. You always acted that way every time he got close to you. He’s seen other guys hold you like that, hug you, and you always acted perfectly fine. Why only him? The question killed him because he couldn’t seem to find an answer.

“Someone wanna go check on Y/N?” asked Bane, who looked between the three other males in the room.

Before Davide could volunteer, Ryoma had already stood up and left the room.

Without knocking, he opened the door and walked in, closing it behind him. You were sitting at your desk, resting your head on the cold wooden surface with your arms resting around.

“Y/N-senpai,” Ryoma called, resting his hand on your shoulder.

You lifted your head to look at your kouhai, “Yes, Echizen?”

“You like him, don’t you, senpai?” The freshman sat on the side of your bed, sitting with his legs folded and chin resting in the palm of his hand.

“As always, you catch on too quick.” you sighed, leaning back in the chair. “I know nothing’ll probably ever happen between us and I don’t want to risk ruining the small friendship we have, ya know?” You got up and fell onto the bed next to him and he turned so that he was facing you.

“I don’t know about love, Y/N-senpai, but I’ll listen if you need it.”

You grinned, pulling the small boy into a tight hug. “I really appreciate that, Ryoma.”

There was a light knock on the door before it opened to reveal the three boys. You pulled away as they walked in. Momo raised his eyebrow and grinned, “You just wanted a chance to get close to Y/N, you little creep!” Ryoma’s cheeks went slightly pink as he pulled his hat down, making Momo laugh. “Echizen’s got a crush on Y/N!!”

“I do not, Momo-senpai!” Ryoma protested with a scowl.

“Hmm, but Y/N was hugging you.” Momo took a seat next to you, putting his arm over your shoulder, “Maybe you like Echizen, too?”

“Oh yes,” you said mockingly, putting your arm around Ryoma’s neck and pulling him closer. “I just love you so~ much, Echizen Ryoma.”

He flushed, trying to break free from your grip. “Senpai!”

You laughed, letting him go. Momo sniggered and Ryoma glared.

“You’re not… seriously in love are you?” Bane asked, looking between you and Ryoma. He didn’t seem too happy about the news. Davide was glaring at the small boy but you knew it was only because you were Bane’s sister. He’s always been protective over you.

‘But not because we’re close friends. Not because he cares about me. Because Bane is his best friend and it’s sort of like a job to help look out for me,’ you thought with a frown. You were about to tell him that it was just a joke when Ryoma spoke up.

“Y/N is dating Fuji-senpai,” he said, simply.

Momo’s mouth hung open as he stared at you.

Your mouth hung open as you stared at Ryoma with an incredulous look. Bane was opening and closing his mouth like a fish. And Davide was glaring even harder at Ryoma.

“I forbid this!” Bane managed out, crossing his arms and glaring at you. “Break up with him right now!”

Now that annoyed you. “Forbid it? You forbid it?”

“That’s right. Go on, call him and break it off!”

“No! You have no right to tell me what to do, Harukaze! Get out of my room!” you pushed him and Davide out and slammed the door in their shocked faces.

Momo raised his eyebrow in question, looking between you and Ryoma, “I didn’t know you were dating Fuji-senpai.”

“They’re not,” Ryoma said quietly, in case they were listening at the door.

“Not?” Momo muttered, confused. “But you just said -”

“It’s a plan to make the guy Y/N likes jealous,” he responded simply.

“Shusuke is going to kill us.” you groaned, “Besides, there’s no way he’s going to get jealous.”

“Davide seemed to be glaring pretty hard at Echizen. Wonder why…?” Momo mused, staring at the door as he stroked his chin.

You scoffed, “Only because of my brother.”

“Eh?”

“He feels it’s his job to protect me because I’m his best friend’s sister.”

“Ahhhh, that makes sense.” Momo nodded in understanding.

“Let’s go,” Ryoma stood up, “We better go talk to Fuji-senpai.”

You and Momo followed Ryoma out of the house, ignoring Bane’s requests to stop, and headed over to Shusuke’s house so you could then explain the situation and try and get him to play along. It honestly seemed like a waste of time, in your opinion, but a small part of you buried deep inside had hope.

Yumiko opened the door and smiled when she saw it was you, “Shusuke is up in his room.”

You all thanked her before running up the stairs and into Shusuke’s room. He and Yuuta were sitting on the floor with a photo album between them. Fuji smiled as he looked up at you. Ryoma and Momo took seats on the bed, while you sat next to Yuuta.

Upon noticing the looks on your faces, his smile dropped slightly. “What’s up?”

“I need a favor,” you told him, refusing to meet his calculating blue eyes.

“Hmm?” he tilted his head to the side. “What is it?”

“You want to take that one, Echizen?” you shot him a look.

“You have to be Y/N-senpai’s boyfriend,” Ryoma said in a bored tone.

“Oh?” Shusuke raised his eyebrow in question and Yuuta did the same, glancing at you.

“Y/N is crushing on someone and Echizen formed a plan.” Momo grinned.

“Without my consent, mind you.” You commented.

“You didn’t deny it, though.” Momo teased.

Your cheeks burned. “I didn’t have time…”

“Ahh,” Shusuke pieced it together and smiled, “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend so that he gets jealous, ne?”

“Pretty much,” you muttered, looking down at the random pictures Shusuke had taken; flowers, birds, trees, couples, the park, the lake, and a bunch of other random things. He really did love his photography.

“That’s no problem,” he smiled warmly.

“You… don’t mind?” you questioned, suspicion building within you.

“Of course not. You’re a good friend of mine and this will help you out.”

You smiled, throwing your arms around his neck. “Thank you Shusuke!”

He chuckled, patting your back, “Sure. May I ask who you like?”

“No!” you glared at Momo, “This idiot can’t keep his mouth shut. If I tell you, everyone’ll know!”

“Oi! I resent that!” Momo scoffed.

“Come on, Momo-senpai,” sighed Ryoma as he grabbed Momo’s wrist and pulled him out of the room.

Shusuke and Yuuta looked at you expectantly and you sighed. “My brother’s best friend, Hikaru.”

“Davide?” Shusuke asked, surprised, “I didn’t think he was your kind of guy.”

You shrugged, picking at the carpet. “I really like him but this plan is not going to work. I tried to tell Echizen that but the little brat doesn’t listen.”

Shusuke chuckled, “You’d be surprised.”

“Eh?”

“You never know if it’s going to work until you give it a try. I’ll make sure to come and get you in the morning, alright?”

“Sure.” ‘Maybe he’s right. I mean, he is the tensai of Seigaku. I should trust him and believe he’s right…. no matter how hard that might be,’

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

“Wake up,” someone shook your body but you groaned and ignored it. “Oi! You’re gonna be late!”

You groaned, rolling over onto your back and slowly opening your eyes, blinking until they adjusted to the bright light shining in through the window. You could still feel the person’s hand on your shoulder and, when you glanced over, you froze. Davide was standing over you, dressed and ready for school.

“W-What are you doing in here!?” you screamed, pushing his hand away and sitting up.

He shrugged, “Your brother asked me to get you up.”

“Harukaze,” you growled, springing out of bed and running downstairs. Your brother sat at the table and he didn’t have time to react before you kicked him in the face, sending him flying back into the wall. “What the hell were you thinking, idiot!? Telling Davide to wake me up!”

“I didn’t think it’d matter!” he retorted, rubbing his sore nose. “He’s woken you up before!”

“Wouldn’t matter… If you don’t feel like waking me up, then don’t! But don’t send him -” you pointed at Davide who had just entered the kitchen, “- to wake me up for you!” You hit your brother in the head before running out of the kitchen and back up to your room. The last thing you wanted was to be woken up by Hikaru!

You sat down on the bedroom floor, holding a hand over your rapidly beating heart. You wish you could escape that boy, but it seems like every time you turn around, he’s right there! ‘Oh, cupid, why have you cursed me like this? Or perhaps it was your doing, Karma! Either way, you both suck!’ You felt a presence behind you and turned around to see Davide standing there, rubbing his neck nervously. ‘See, I told you. Every time I turn around!’

“Sorry,” he said, softly. “If I woulda known you’d be so upset, I wouldn’t have done it. Sorry, Y/N-chan.”

You felt a pang in your heart when you saw his crestfallen face. He looked so sad as he turned around and left the room. You groaned, falling back onto the floor with a thud. ‘Why am I such an idiot? I still blame you Karma! Cupid!’

You weren’t sure how long you had laid there, but it felt like a couple hours at least. You didn’t move, too caught up in your mind replaying the image of his sad face.

“Y/N?” Shusuke’s face appeared above you. “We’re going to be late.” he murmured, grabbing your hand and pulling you off the floor, “Details when we leave. Now, get dressed.”

He left the room and you quickly changed into the Seigaku uniform before rushing down the stairs with your bag slung over your shoulder. Shusuke was standing in the living room, smiling brightly. Davide and Bane were sitting on the couch, glaring daggers at the brown-haired tensai.

“Ah, ready, love?” Shusuke questioned, his hand taking hold of your own.

You nodded, lacing your fingers with his. “Let’s go,”

Without a word to your brother and his friend, you stepped out of the house with Shusuke at your side. A comfortable silence rested over you for several minutes before you decided to break it.

“Hey, Shusuke?”

“Hm?”

“I think Karma and Cupid have teamed up against me.”

He laughed as the two of you stepped through the gates of Seishun Gakuen, the one place you knew you’d never run into Davide.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

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[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Tough Love, Part One

Banjo couldn’t have received a warmer welcome when arriving at the Smash Mansion, getting lost while finding his room and accidentally making the math teacher’s head explode not withstanding. Once he was settled back in, a welcome party was held in the parlor. Banjo and Kazooie mingled with the crowd, reuniting with old friends and making new ones as well. Elated didn’t even begin to describe how Banjo felt.

“I gotta say,” Banjo said with a cold drink in his hand and a smile on his fuzzy face. “It’s been too long. I haven’t even officially made it into the game yet, and already this feels more like home than Microsoft ever did. Honestly, I can’t thank y'all enough.”

“Hey, forget about it,” Mario said cheerfully as he padded Banjo on the back. “You’re more than a guest here. Since you helped make the Nintendo 64 a household name, you’re practically family.”

“Not what you said when you sold us off, tubby!” Kazooie spat. “You were soakin’ up rays on Isle Delfino while we were stuck in a wall in Grabbed by the Ghoulies!”

“Kazooie, we’ve been over this a hundred times…” Banjo said wistfully. “Mario had nothing to do with the Rare acquisition. That was a decision made by powers upon high way out of his control.” Banjo then looked back at his old platformer pal. “Sorry about that.”

“No worries,” Mario said with a laugh. “That cockney accented bird may be salty, but she’s got nothing on Waluigi fans.”

“Or people still asking for Gogo guy from Dragonwhatsits…” Daisy added, shrugging it off. “Anyway, how did the people at Rare and Microsoft react to your invitation? Bet they threw you one heck of a party!”

“Not really…” Banjo shrugged. “I mean, yeah, they threw me a party and they wished me well, but…well…” Banjo thought long and hard about the right words to say, scratching his head. “How can I put this delicately…you know that expression about one bad apple spoilin’ the whole barrel? Well, in this case, it was an bad acorn.”

While some of the younger smashers didn’t know what he meant by that, the older ones immediately put the pieces together. From Mario to Snake, and especially the Kongs, almost the entire cast of Brawl said in unison.

“Conker?” they all asked, to which Banjo and Kazooie both nodded.

“Conker,” they both said.

“That reminds me…” Samus said as she produced her built in bounty log, making a recording. “Reminder; renew that restraining order against raging alcoholic squirrel.”

“And man, what a mess that was…” Banjo said, dejected, as the event came back to him.

>FLASHBACK<

Banjo and Kazooie mingled at the congratulatory party that Rare and Microsoft threw for him. Nearly everyone from the Rare Replay collection were there, save for the Great Mighty Poo for obvious and sanitary reasons, and the Who’s Who of the X Box showed up to pay their respects as well.

“Congratulations, furball,” Marcus Fenix said with a friendly jab. “Give ‘em hell.”

“Thanks, Marcus,” said Banjo, turning his attention toward the crowd. “And thank all of you too. I was expecting cold drinks and maybe a couple pizzas, but y'all went all out when you didn’t have to. I appreciate it.”

“No worries,” said Master Chief. “Just make sure you smash that Doom Goon around.”

“No promises,” said Kazooie. “He’s not even officially part of the roster. Also, we don’t have a death wish.”

“Besides, you guys deserve this,” said Joanna Dark. “You two certainly did more for Nintendo than any two of us put together.”

“Exactly,” Jago chimed in. “It’s not like we’re seeing Blast Corps II anytime soon, are we?”

“Or a second Jet Force Gemini,” said, funnily enough, Juno. “And honestly, that’s fine by us.”

“Indeed,” his sister Vela said. “You have any idea how hard it is to get the smell of insectoid entrails off of you?”

Sadly, the friendly and chatty atmosphere was soon broken. It started with a smell, which Banjo caught and caused him to wear a sour look.

“What smells like stale peanuts, cheap whiskey, and urine?” he asked, which was answered in bitter, drunken sarcasm.

“Oh, yeah, the bear and bird made it to Smash Bros, la dee FUCKING da!”

“Take a wild guess…” Kazooie said in spite.

Banjo turned and the crowd parted, and sure enough there stood Conker with a look so bitter even a lemon would be sweet in comparison. He was a complete wreck, his clothes unkempt and his eyes bloodshot, his mouth wrapped around a half emptied bottle of whiskey. He was so drunk he could barely keep his feet under him.

“Conker?” Banjo said as he took in the sight. “Jeez, you’re a mess. What happened to you?”

“What happened to me?” Conker said as he fumbled toward Banjo. “I’ll tell you what happened to me! You were invited to be a fighter in Super Smash Bros, and I wasn’t! I’m an icon just as much as you are, and people still love my game! I was the Nintendo 64! What the hell did you idiots do for Nintendo that I didn’t, huh!?”

“Besides stay sober?” said Kazooie.

“Screw you!” Conker spat, pointing at Kazooie while still holding his bottle of whiskey. “I can quit whenever I want!”

“Okay, okay, settle down…” said Banjo, sensing a fight about to erupt. “Look, Conker, your game was a lot of fun, and you have a cult following for a reason. But icon? Come on, man. Even when we was at the height of our popularity, at the best of times guys like you and me were second fiddle to folks like Mario and Sonic.”

“Hey, I’m still a star!” Conker shot right back. “People still talk about my game and want a new one! You think they want a new game about that pop culture popping loser Gex!? Where’s his HD remake, huh!? People love me!”

“They love your game’s absurd premise and raunchy humor,” Kazooie said. “They tolerate you, Fuzz Nuts.”

“You’re not helping!” Banjo said sternly.

“I’m not trying to help!” Kazooie shot back.

“And yet you got an invitation, and I didn’t!” Conker slurred, nearly falling over. “Why!? Why’d they invite you, and not me!?”

At this point, the entire room was silent with everyone watching. Banjo exchanged a knowing look with Kazooie, the biting breagul nodding, then looked back at Conker with a pained but honest expression.

“Do you really want to know?”

To be concluded…