#I shouldn’t feel like I’m running from tigers when I wanna take a break!!!!!

[rottenlittlefink]

Google, how do I stop feeling guilt, shame, and impending doom every time I need to take a sick day :3

[please-buckme]

Madripoor.

Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: smutty 18+, oral (m! Receiving), cursing, a lot of saliva

Summary: you meet Bucky at Sharon’s party.

The music thunderously blasts through the speakers as the party raged on. People grinding and kissing while their drinks splashed to the beat. The lights danced around the room, sprinkling around the party goers like confetti at a parade. And then there was you, totally drunk and having the time of your life.

The music ran through your body just like the alcohol you’d consumed. Madripoor was the place to be if you were looking for a good time, innocent or not so innocent. You found your way here after leaving home so many years ago. This was your place, you couldn’t imagine living anywhere else, especially after living here for so long. You’d die of boredom if you ever decided to leave.

Tonight you were at a fellow colleagues party; Sharon Carter. You ultimately came to do some business with her. She had something you wanted and you paid a hefty price to get it. Once you dealt with the matter at hand, you joined the party. Sharon danced and chatted with you but didn't have a drink herself. She told you she had business to attend to later.

Your eyesight was a little blurry when you scanned the crowd of people, but you suddenly had 20/20 vision when your eyes landed on them.

“Who are they?” You asked Sharon.

“Ah, the business I’m attending to later.” She smirked.

“Sharon!” You swatted her shoulder. “Good for you, girl.”

“Oh, God. No. Not like that. I mean, we have actual business to attend to later. You’re disgusting.” She scuffed, cringing at the idea of being with either man.

Your eyes locked with the icy blue ones that stared back at you, almost beakening you to come over. He smirked, his gaze roamed down your body, drinking in your features as you rubbed your thighs together.

“Mind if I introduce myself?” You ask, absentmindedly handing off your drink to Sharon.

“Um, sure. Go right ahead.”

The piercing blue eyes never left yours when you started walking across the dance floor to him.

“Hi.” He said flatly. You giggled, finding his grumpy demeanor kinda cute.

“Hi.” You say back, grabbing his hand. If you hadn’t lived in Madripoor for so long with all the crazy things that go on here daily, you would’ve been shocked to feel the cool metal of his hand against your palm. But you didn’t even flinch, if anything it made you want him more.

“What’s your name?” You asked, still shaking his hand.

“Ah, Winter Soldier.” He said nervously. “Yours?” “Summer Civilian.” Bucky grinned down at you, pausing the shaking of your hands and just held it there between the two of you.

“Ha ha.”

“Tell me your real name and I’ll tell you mine.” You challenge.

“I’m sort of in the middle of something- Ah, I’m undercover.” He released your hand to run his own through his hair anxiously.

“Your secret’s safe with me.” You challenge him again.

He leans in close to your ear, his hot breath fanning over your ear almost causes you to whimper, “I’m Bucky.”

You smile when he stands straight again, “I’m y/n.”“It’s nice to meet you, y/n.” He takes your hand and shakes it again.

“Same to you, Bucky.” You stand staring at one another until the other man breaks the sexual tension that’s blossoming against you and Bucky.

“I’m Sa- I mean Smiling Tiger.” He corrects.

You can’t help but to bust out laughing, “Smiling Tiger. You can’t be serious. That man is one of my biggest clients. I’m not buying that cover for one second. At least Bucky came up with a fake name.”

Bucky huffed out a laugh like sigh. The man claiming to be Smiling Tiger just rolled his eyes and walked away. You giggled staring down at your feet and back up to Bucky. He was gorgeous. He wore an all black suit that clung perfectly to his toned body. His large biceps were outlined to perfection and the pants he wore did his thighs a great justice. You wanted him and you wanted him now.

“Would you like to talk somewhere more.. private?” You asked, hanging your arms over his shoulders. You’d forgotten how drunk you were until you felt the weight of your arms on his shoulders. He didn’t seem to mind though.

“I- I shouldn’t. Like I said I’m in the middle of something right now. I have to stay where they can find me.” He gasps when your lips attach to his neck.

You smirk against his neck, “That’s fine. We can have fun right where we are.” One of your hands slides down his chest and past his toned stomach until your hand reaches its final destination on his crotch.

“Wow wow wow” he panicked and grabbed your wrist. “Are you crazy? We could get arrested for public indecency or something.”

You laughed hysterically, his innocence towards the situation made a warmth bubble up in your chest.

You lean in to him drunkenly as your fingers pad over his chest, “Bucky baby, this is Madripoor. Look around you. Everyone here is doing something that should be considered illegal. I could sink down to my knees and take you each by each in to my mouth and nobody would even blink.”

Bucky groaned at your words. You could tell he’d been deprived of sexual relations just by the way he reacted to your fingers dancing across his chest and the dirty words you spoke.

“Would you like that, Bucky? Would you like to watch me choke on your cock in front of all these people?” You ask. Your fingers made their way back down his body but found his hard cock this time. You gasped, “You would like that, dirty boy.”

“Goddammit” He cursed, pulling at your wrist again as he bulldozed through the crowd on the way to the bathroom. The door was locked when he smashed his way through. Two people had the same idea as you, they sat against the sink until Bucky ordered them to leave. With no hesitation, they ran through the now busted door. “So demanding.” You teased.

“On your fucking knees, Princess.” He ordered, latching the door.

You whimpered, “Yes, Sir.” You did as you were told, sitting on your knees in front of him while he unclasped his belt.

“You wanna suck my dick so bad,” he grunted, undoing the zipper and shimmying his pants down to his ankles. “Then you’re gonna. You're not coming up off that floor until I say. And when I’m done with your mouth, I’m gonna fuck that pretty little pussy of yours, you got that?”

“Oh, God. Yes.” You agree, pulling his underwear down his legs to release him. His cock spring free, slapping against his shirt.

Precum dripped from his tip and you whimpered. Bucky was larger than you’d expected, in length and girth. The veins of his cock pulsed in your hand when you started stroking him slowly. The tip was bright red and in need of release, which you had no problem in helping with that.

Once your lips closed around the tip, Bucky knitted his fingers into your hair and shoved his cock as far as he could down your throat. You gag as saliva collects in your mouth and runs down your chin. He pulls out and thrusts back in hard.

“This is what you want, right? To gag on my cock?” He grunts when you flick your tongue at his base. You just nod and gargle incoherent praise around him.

He starts with rough, slow thrusts, slamming in and out until your throat is nice and open for him. Then he fucks your face properly. You know by this point your makeup is completely ruined/gone due to the tears and drool running down your face.

At one point Bucky pulled out completely just to look at your fucked out state. His flesh hand roughly fingered your mouth, then smeared your own spit over your face.

“God, you’re so filthy.” He whimpered and then lined himself up with your mouth again, “You take me so well, Baby. Rub that pussy for me. Get it nice and ready for me.”

You moan against him and run your fingers over your wet folds. You insert one finger and whimper. You were soaked. Your wetness dripped down your thighs and onto the bathroom floor. You added another finger, hoping to stretch your walls enough for Bucky to glad right in. “Does it feel good, Baby?” He asked in a patronizing tone. You nodded, “Is your pussy ready for me now?”

He released you suddenly and your saliva dripped from his cock and your mouth to the floor. You’d already made such a mess of the bathroom and all you’d done was suck his cock.

“I asked you a question.”

“Yes, my pussy’s so ready for your cock.” You whine still stroking him.

He smirks down at you, grabbing your chin, “I’ll be the judge of that.” He lifts you from the floor with only his metal arm and carries you to the counter.

“Vibranium?” You ask.

“Yeah.” He answers confused as to how you’d know that.

“Nice.” You hustled for a living and vibranium was something everybody wanted. You were gonna get that arm somehow.

He sat you on the counter and positioned himself between your legs. You shimmied your dress up to your waist and lined him up to your entrance. Before he pushed in he grabbed your face and pulled you in for a bruising kiss. His lips felt warm and full against yours.

For a guy that was out of practice, his lips worked your mouth like his life depended on it. They were soft and inviting. His tongue roamed your mouth so delicately that you barely even noticed it was there. This was Bucky, the real Bucky.

He took your bottom lip between his teeth as he pushed his cock inside you. Both your moans filled the room as he bottomed out inside you. He entered you slowly before pulling out and slamming into you. You yelped when you felt him right at your hilt, the knot in your stomach twisting tighter and tighter.

“You're so deep, Bucky.” You whimpered.

“I know, Baby, I know. Just relax.” His thrusts were slower, helping you adjust. He praised you each time he bottomed out inside you, “You’re doing so good for me.” He’d say.

Once your walls relaxed around him, he picked up speed. He was holding back, you could tell, but was still pounding into you. Your hands wandered down to his ass as you coaxed him into going a little rough.

He got the hint immediately. He pulled out completely then slammed back in making your legs quiver. Then he pulled out again and flipped you over the sink. He reinserted himself and fucked you from behind. Somehow he felt even bigger in this position.

“Bucky-“ You moaned just before he brought his fingers down to your clit. “Yes- just like that. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

There was a mirror in front of you and he made eye contact with you the whole time he took you from behind.

Bucky owned you in this moment. He was marking you as his with his cock as he pounded into you. And by the way he rubbed at your clit, he was making sure you’d never find another man that fucked you like he did.

Your eyes clenched shut when the knot in your stomach was on the verge of snapping.

“Bucky, I’m- oh fuck.. I’m gonna cum.” You managed whimpered out.

“Cum for me. I’ve got you. Cum for me, Princess.” With that he picked up his pace just enough to push you over the edge. He pulled you up so your back was against his chest, driving his cock deeper inside you. You mewled as your climax peaked. Your walls clenched around him as your warm cum drenched his cock.

“That’s it, Baby. Oh, God, I can feel it, I can feel it. Give it all to me, Baby.” Bucky groaned and rubbed your clit a little more aggressively, making you jolt in his arms.

“You're gonna make me cum, too. Where do you want it?” He asks, still pounding into you.

“Let’s finish how we started, in my mouth.” He pulls out and you sink to the floor and insert him back into your mouth. You taste your wetness along with your cum as you suck him dry.

“That’s it. Just like that- fuck I’m cumming, Princess.” He groaned and stuttered his hips as he busted on your tongue. You hummed as his spend coated your tongue and throat. He had a unique taste. Cum usually didn't taste all that great but his did. He was salty and sweet, like salted caramel popcorn on Christmas.

He pulled out and collapsed on the floor next to you. You looked at each other, breathing hard and smiled.

“That was-“

“Incredible” You finished the sentence for him.

“Yeah” He chuckled.

“I guess you should get going. They’re probably looking for you by now.” You assured him.

“Yeah.” He repeated, “That was amazing, though. You were amazing. Thank you.”

You giggled, “Don't mention it.” You paused, locking eyes with each other for a moment until Bucky leaned in and kissed you again. The same softness from before that made you a little lightheaded. “Will I see you again?” You asked, breaking the kiss.

“Definitely.” He whispered, standing up now and tucking himself back into his pants.

“Good because next time that arm is mine.”

Bucky gave you a wide eyed look, “What?” He laughed.

“I want that arm, Bucky.”

He walked over towards, planting one final kiss to your lips. “You’ll get my arm, just not the way you're expecting.” He smirked before running out the bathroom door to look for the fake Smiling Tiger.

If Bucky did ever come back, you know you’ll never let him leave again.

Masterlist

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[azaleavi]

Woman Like Me - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky meets someone in Madripoor who reminds him of himself a long time ago

Warning(s): language, bad writing lol

Author’s Note: this is my first time writing so any feedback is appreciated and i didn’t know how to end it so it’s horrible but i tried

Word count: 2.2K

Part 2

“Selby will see you now”

The three men walk through the corridors and into the room where Selby is waiting for them. It is full of cash and guns on tables.

“You should know Baron. People don’t just come into my bar and make demands.”

“Not a demand, an offer” Zemo sits down on the couch while Sam and Bucky stand on either side of it.

“A lot has changed since you were here last” Selby eyes Bucky up and down, clearly recognising him as the Winter Soldier “By the way I thought you were rotting away in a German prison” she turns back to the man sitting in front of her and lifts her eyebrows “How did you escape?”

“People like us always find a way, don’t we?” Zemo shrugs “I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for”

“Yore taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger” the woman points at Sam then smiles at him, not paying attention to Zemo anymore. Sam nods slightly, trying to speak as little as possible. Selby playfully purrs at him, joking about his name. Sam looks away not wanting to give her the satisfaction of replying to that. She turns back to Zemo and smiles.

“What’s the offer?”

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum” Zemo stands up walking over to where Bucky is standing acting like the Winter Soldier “and I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course” he holds Bucky’s shoulders while he tries his best to not react. That was not part of the plan. But of course you can’t trust Zemo to not change it to whatever benefits him.”He will do anything you want” he grabs a hold of his chin insinuating things Bucky doesn’t even want to think about. He hates it. Feeling like a toy between the two and he can’t do anything about it. Not if he wants to succeed in getting the information they need.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember” she smiles, pleased. “I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately” Zemo sits back down on the couch waiting for Selby to start talking.

“Yeah you were right to came to me. Arrogant, but right. The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank. Or…” she looks at Bucky for a second “condemn, depending on what side you’re on.”

“Is Nagel still in Madripoor?”

“Oh. The bread crumbs you can have for free but the bakery is gonna cost you Baron. And unfortunately you don’t have the means to pay me” she stands, walking closer to Sam. Bucky immediately tenses, ready for a fight. Something doesn’t feel right.” I don’t need your Soldier” she smiles, something sinister behind it ”as I have my own little puppet. Tell her to come in” the three of them freeze as one of the men with guns goes through a door in the back.

They hear his voice but can’t make out what he says. When he stops talking a woman walks out, into the room they’re in. Bucky feels like his world is turned upside down. The woman is fully decked out with guns and knives and is wearing tactical gear with combat boots. But that’s not what unnerves Bucky. It’s the dead, soulless eyes that stare back at him. A cruel reminder of what he used to look like.

“Come here girl” Selby smiles and the woman complies without a question never taking her eyes off the strangers in the room “look at that. Isn’t it amazing what a few words can do a person’s mind when said in the right order?” Bucky finally looks at Selby realising she is watching him “Isn’t that right Winter Soldier?” Bucky can’t speak. He knows he can’t break character, but it’s damn hard not to when he sees someone like him and he knows he should help.

“How is this possible?” Zemo breaks the silence, clearly baffled by seeing another winter soldier-like person.

“Well it was quite easy to get a hold of Hydra’s files in Madripoor” Selby walks behind the woman who can’t be older than 25 and puts her hands on her shoulder. “Don’t worry though, they were sadly destroyed after we used it once on her. But we got the perfect soldier out of it” Bucky tenses at the mention of the perfect soldier. That’s what he was called back then. I need to help this girl he thinks I can’t let her go through the same shit I had to go through. He looks at Sam who is already looking back at him. They seem to think about the same thing.

“Harcos…” Selby starts talking in a foreign language but she is interrupted by a glass window shattering. Bucky sees Selby on the floor dead, a bullet hole in her chest and he immediately goes into fight mode. The woman or harcos he should say doesn’t waste any time and takes a gun off her back but before she can start shooting he is in front of her. He tries to twist the gun out of her hands but he finds out that she is strong. Too strong for her to be human. She is a super soldier which shouldn’t surprise him at this point but it still does.

They start fighting but their strength is evenly matched and Bucky doesn’t want to kill her. He uses his metal arm to finally grab the gun from her and throws it to the side. She kicks him in the chest and he is flung backwards into the wall. Bucky gets a hold of the gun he threw away and knocks her out with the back of it. The others finish fighting as well and they look at each other.

“Now what?” asks Sam looking at the woman lying on the floor.

“I recommend we kill her” chimes in Zemo before Bucky can start talking.

“We are not killing her” Bucky goes and picks her up, thinking about how they could get her out of here without drawing too much attention. He hold her bridal style and puts her head against his neck, hiding her face.”we need to get out of here and fast” Zemo walks to the door, opens it a little and looks through the open space.

“Put down your guns and follow my lead” the other two are hesitant to do what Zemo says but they don’t really have any other choice. They walk through the doors and out into the streets trying to look as casual as possible. Well, as casual you can be with an unconscious woman in your hands. But in Madripoor it’s not an uncommon sight so no one really pays attention to them. That is until every single person in the vicinity starts getting text messages and looks at them. Shit they know what happened Bucky thinks and they start to walk faster. Suddenly the people around them get out their guns and start shooting at them. Zemo runs to the right while Bucky and Sam start running straight down the street.

“I can’t run in these heels” Sam shouts trying to keep up with Bucky who is running slower than he could so he doesn’t leave Sam behind. They turn into a darker alley with to people on motorcycles following them. Suddenly two shots rang out from somewhere in one of the buildings and the motorcyclists are dead on the ground.

“You seem to have a guardian angel” Zemo shows up, out of breath from all the running.

“Well this is too perfect” Sharon shows up out of nowhere holding a gun in her hands. Her eyes immediately go to the woman in Bucky’s hands and the men can see her surprise. “Please tell me that’s not Harcos in your hands” Bucky looks down to see the woman, who seems to be calmly sleeping. How she didn’t wake up while they were running around is beyond him, but he is glad he doesn’t have to fight her again.

“Would you believe me if I said no?” asks Sam trying to lighten the situation.

“We need to get out of here before they see you carrying around Madripoor’s most valuable asset.” Bucky tenses, pulling her closer and not liking how that sounds. Asset. The word brings back horrible memories of times he would much rather forget. He needs to help this girl. He will not allow someone else be called asset “come on, I have a place in High Town where you can lie low” Sharon starts walking and the men follow him, Sam dragging Zemo with him.

They walk into her place which is filled with stolen artwork, that turns out to be the original.

“So can you tell us who is this harcos that Bucky decided to save?” Sam sends a look at Bucky who is putting the woman down on the couch. She is still out cold which is starting to get concerning.

“Y/N L/N. 24 years old. Has been a super soldier since she was a kid. She was Nagel’s first patient” she draws air quotes with her fingers ”well… the first successful one anyway. And when the Blip happened Selby used the chaos to get the files on the brainwashing and used it on her. Her memories are not gone like your resident Winter Soldier here but she still has trigger words that turn her into a mindless killing machine” they all watched the girl who started to stir awake from her deep sleep.

“Uhm… how are we going to go about this?” Sam watched her intently, getting ready for a fight. Bucky was still standing next to her when she opened her eyes staring straight into his. She sat up, panicked trying to crawl back from him. She obviously knew who he was and she was scared. How is she scared of him? She is supposed to be a super-soldier.

“What do you want?” she speaks for the first time.

“Hey it’s okay, we don’t want to hurt you” Sam walked over to her trying to calm her down. She snaps her head at him.

“Well then I would like an explanation” Y/N is till unsure about them but once in her life she wants to trust people and maybe the Avengers would be a good start.

“Do you remember fighting me?” Bucky speaks up.

“Yeah, kinda hard to forget fighting the Winter Soldier” she looks back at Bucky.

“I’m not him anymore” he shakes his head.

“Well at least someone got out of this thing” she shows a pained smile

“I head you have trigger words too”

“Yes and I would rather you don’t say them” he can’t understand how she can joke about something like this.

“We don’t even know the words” Sharon speaks

“Although I wish I did” Zemo smiles trying to get a rise out of y/n. But he doesn’t know her so he doesn’t know that that’s a very hard thing to do. Oh she gets angry easily but she was trained to not show it and not act on it.

“Very funny Zemo” she sends him a mock smile. He seems surprised that she knows who he is which she notices “Yes I know who you are, don’t be so surprised. So what are the Avengers doing in Madripoor?” she turns to Sam.

“A group of people got hold of the super-soldier serum and they used it on themselves so we are trying to stop them” Sam explains

“Sounds fun”

“I think she would be a valuable help” Zemo speaks again and Bucky immediately thinks that he has some ulterior motives.

“Stop your schemes Zemo” Sam shuts him down but y/n seems to be deep in thought.

“I mean she could help…” Bucky starts but Sam sends him a pointed look so he shuts his mouth.

“We do not need another liability with us” Sam looks at y/n who is already looking at him “No offence”

“None taken, but I agree with James” she stands up and walks over to Sam “I understand that I’m not stable, but I know what it’s like to have the serum in your veins and I want to help any way I can. As long as no one says the words I’m good”

“Yeah that’s exactly my concern. What if someone does know the trigger words and uses it against us? Against you?” he points at her. She thinks about if for a second.

“Okay how about this? I go with you but only step in to help when you say I can.” She offers, a hopeful look in her eyes. Sam knows she just wants to help but it’s still risky. He sighs.

“You can come if you do what I say. But if I feel like you are risking our mission you are sitting it out and only come in when I tell you to. Understand?” he says firmly, holding out his hand. She takes it and they shake hands.

“Let’s get these super-soldiers”

[baby-bearie]

the waves don’t move here

(NOT MY GIF)

jj maybank x reader

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a/n: i know y’all don’t like the magical stuff as much, but i kind of liked this idea so this one’s for me :)

The sky is a weird shade of blue. 

That’s all you can think about. The sky is a brighter shade of blue than it normally is. Everything looks brighter. 

The trees are overly green, the road is nearly blinding you with how much the asphalt is reflecting the sun, and you realize you have no clue where you are. 

Or how you got there. 

You’re standing in the middle of the street. There is absolutely nobody around. It’s eerily silent. 

Not even a bird chirps. 

You search your brain to try and figure out how you wound up here. The street around you looks vaguely familiar. The look of the houses, the sound of waves crashing nearby tell you you’re still home. 

But you know every single inch of your island, and you’ve never been on this street before. 

Your legs carry you down the street without you even realizing, and you’re suddenly facing the ocean. The dock you stand on is just as unfamiliar as the street was. It looks somewhat like home, but deep down you know it’s not. This is not home. 

It doesn’t take you long to realize this is a dream. In what world would the Outer Banks ever be this quiet?

Once you realize, you settle yourself on the end of the dock, dipping your legs into the water. There are no ships in sight. The ocean is open, endless. The water doesn’t move. 

You’ve always wondered what it would be like to lucid dream. You’re pretty sure the very first step is to realize you’re dreaming. 

Check. You pinch your arm to see if you can wake yourself up and nothing happens. 

Maybe you can control the dream. Maybe you can manifest a tiger. 

You close your eyes and scrunch them up tightly. 

How do you create a tiger? You try and picture one in your mind. 

You peek one eye open. No tiger. 

Okay, maybe you need to say it out loud. “A tiger.” 

You point to the dock, still closing your eyes. 

“Roar?” 

The sound of a voice, a human voice, makes you open your eyes and turn sharply. 

It’s a boy. About your age, too. He seats himself next to you. 

Apparently, your subconscious definitely knows how to make your perfect guy. He’s not a tiger, but he’s a hell of a lot better. 

You’re not waking up anytime soon. You might as well play along. 

“Hi,” you deadpan. 

“Hi,” his voice is filled with confusion. “I’m JJ.” 

Your subconscious knows what you like really well if it’s making a voice like that. 

“I’m Y/n. But, you know. You probably know that.” You laugh. This is so weird. You’re introducing you to yourself. 

“Why would I know that?” JJ questions, sounding more confused than before. 

“Because, you know,” You nod at JJ, assuming this manifestation of yourself understands. He just shrugs. 

“So, like, who are you? Like, what are you doing here?” You prod.

“Shouldn’t I ask you that?” He shoots back. Now it’s your turn to be confused. 

“No?” 

You don’t remember how long you talked to JJ that night. You remember telling him how you can’t stand the texture of mushy apples, though. You remember him telling you the craziest things about a treasure hunt. 

God, you really did have an overactive imagination.

When you wake up the next morning, the only thing you can recall other than JJ is the way the waves didn’t move. 

You spend the day at work, bussing tables at the Wreck. It’s a good distraction from your running mind. 

When your head hits the pillow that night, you keep him in your mind. You can’t manifest a tiger, but hopefully you can manifest a boy. 

You open your eyes and you’re on the street again. This time, you know exactly where you are. You sprint down the street, not stopping until the small houses have turned into the familiar dock. You run towards the ocean. 

He’s already there when you get there. He’s sitting in the same spot, and turns to look at you as your bare feet thud on the ground. 

“You came,” JJ smiles. 

“I think I would have found you even if I didn’t try.” “We don’t really get much choice, do we.” 

You take your place next to him.

“So, you wanna tell me more about this treasure hunt of yours?” 

You know when you wake up, you won’t remember this. You tell him how you cry when you watch those puppy commercials. He tells you how he loves the feeling of the sun on his back after he’s been surfing.

You tell him how your sister died when you were little. He tells you about his fear of his dad.

You’re both silent for a moment. Everything is silent. The waves don’t crash. The waves don’t move. 

When you wake up, you stare up at the ceiling for a moment. He should’ve been real. You’ve never been able to connect with anyone like you’ve connected with the boy in your dreams.

But it’s just you. Just your brain coping with itself by creating a version of you to connect with. 

You haven’t talked with anybody like that in a long time.

Nights after nights pass, and you continue to meet JJ in your dreams. You know you’re not really talking to someone, but it feels good to get it all of your chest. To just keep talking and know someone can listen. You tell him things you’re not even sure you really knew about yourself. 

Many of those nights, JJ talks to you. He tells you his dad hits him. You’re not sure what to say. 

He tells you some crazy things. You listen, and marvel at the way your brain has crafted this boy. This perfect boy. 

Over these nights, things change. It’s in the way he places his hand on yours when he sits next to you. It’s in the way he looks at you when he listens to you talk. It’s in the way you realize JJ isn’t just a piece of your imagination. 

The last time you meet JJ at the dock, you tell him you haven’t figured out how to surf, but you’re trying to learn. That makes him smile. 

“I love surfing! I wish I could teach you.” 

“Of course you do.” “What does that mean?” JJ frowns. 

“Of course you love surfing. You’re just the perfect embodiment of who I’ve been looking for, so of course you know how to surf. You know how to surf because I want to surf.”

“Y/n, what are you talking about?” “Yeah, yeah, you’ll- sorry, I’ll never admit it. You’re not real.”

“No, you’re not real.” 

You turned your head so fast that if this was real, you would’ve had whiplash.

“What?” “I know you’re not real, man. My brain just gave me someone to talk to because I couldn’t take being alone anymore.” JJ sighs. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god, you’re real, aren’t you?” You whisper. 

There’s no way this can be true. You couldn’t have spent the past months calling yourself crazy for being in love with a boy in your dreams just to find out that he was real. 

“Yeah? I wish you were.” “JJ, I am.” “Quit it. There’s no one like you in my world. I would’ve found you by now.” “I’m not kidding, this whole time I thought you were just my imagination, but,” you take a breath in, “but you’re real. Aren’t you?” 

“So, so what? We’re both just dreaming the same dreams?” “I don’t know. I guess?” “Nah, this doesn’t make sense. What if we’re sleepwalking? Maybe we just sleepwalk to the same spot.” “JJ, that makes less sense.” “It makes just as much sense as us sharing dreams!” “The waves don’t move here, JJ.” You waved a hand towards the still water. 

JJ left first that night. When you woke up, you tried to remember everything he had said to you. With each passing minute, more and more slipped away from you. 

What did he tell you? Something about surfing?

All you could remember was the feeling. You remembered the overwhelming feeling of relief. As if a thousand pounds had been lifted off your shoulders. As if you could breathe again. 

You couldn’t focus at work. You nearly dropped an entire plate of sandwiches and soup on a poor group of teenagers. 

When you took your break, you retreated outside for a breather. You sighed and leaned your head back against the building. 

“You’re so weird, Pope.” “I’m just saying!” The voices of teenage boys rung out in the air, snapping you out of your thoughts. You turned and rushed back into the restaurant, aggressively re-tying the apron around your waist and tugging your hair back into a rubber band. 

The door blew open as you turned to clear dishes off of a nearby table. You didn’t check to see as they seated themselves at a table in your section. They must’ve been the people from outside. Setting down your tray, you hustled over to the new table, fumbling to get your pad out. 

“Hi, welcome to the Wreck, do you need a second or can I get you started with,” The rest of your sentence failed to slip out. You had just managed to get the pen out of your pocket when you looked at the table and the words died in your mouth. There were 3 boys. 2 of them you didn’t recognize. 

One you definitely did. 

JJ’s lips parted and his eyes grew wide. Your pen clattered to the floor, long forgotten. Neither of you could find it in you to say anything. 

The other two boys seemed more confused, calling their friend’s name. 

“Is this,” JJ got out, his finger mindlessly twirling around his head, “am I dreaming again?”

You tore your eyes away from JJ to look out the window, out towards the water. 

The waves were crashing, pulled by the ebb and flow of the water. 

You shook your head. 

“I’m, uh. I’m JJ.” His voice was unsteady, just as unsure as you were that this could be real. 

“I’m Y/n. But you probably know that.” 

[writing-radionoises]

clear waters

ship: not ship centric, background kunikidazai and shin soukoku

genre: pure fluff

prompt: the ada goes on a family outing

notes: the new chapter has caused me nothing but pain so i wrote another installment in the ada akutagawa series

Atsushi has offhandedly mentioned over lunch break that he had never been to a zoo.

Akutagawa had agreed with him, stating that he hadn’t either, and really had barely been around Yokohama.

Hearing that gave Dazai a pit in his stomach, truthfully, though he’d never say that aloud.

Akutagawa had been with the agency for a little over six months now, they had put their past behind them maybe three months ago.

Dazai had watched the other flourish from afar, watched him open up and feel happy.

Dazai had watched from afar, watching Atsushi and Akutagawa’s relationship develop, giving them little pushes now and then to the final product.

It went unsaid, but Dazai knew what they were to each other. They smiled freely with each other, exchanged small talk frequently over work, and other such things.

Akutagawa had a habit of bringing in hot chocolate for Atsushi whenever he went to get tea.

Dazai had had enough relationships to know what they were to each other.

He was just glad he managed to make it all come together…

Though other than that, the gentle pushes to a relationship, Dazai remained uninvolved with Akutagawa.

Perhaps it was just neglect, or subconsciously avoiding it.

Dazai could recall being dragged to the zoo a couple times by Elise…

“Gin always wanted to go,” Akutagawa explained, sipping at his tea as he looked back up at Atsushi, “Never had enough money, nor time… So it never happened.”

Atsushi smiled in return, “I had never left the orphanage until I was eighteen, I’ve been meaning to take Kyouka for awhile. I think she’d really like it, you know?”

“Then why don't we go?” Dazai said with a smile, from his position on Kunikida’s desk.

Kunikida glanced up at his spouse, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Do we have time for that?”

“Probably not!” Dazai replied, “But regardless, it should be a little family trip! Have a break, we can take the whole agency. I bet Fukuzawa-senpai wants to see the big cats~”

“I wanna see the penguins,” Ranpo proudly announced, “I’ll go ask him.”

“Ranpo, wait-” Kunikida said, though Ranpo had already left the room as the blond sighed and nodded.

“Give in~” Dazai said to the other, ruffling his hair gently.

Atsushi smiled once more, shaking his wrist with glee, “I’m gonna go tell Kyouka!”

He passed his cup to Akutagawa as he dashed for the other side of the agency.

Fukuzawa had, of course, agreed. Dazai knew he could rarely say no to Ranpo, led alone Kyouka, who was extremely excited for the trip.

The group took the bus into the Yokohama zoo and from there, split off into a couple of different groups.

Fukuzawa, Kyouka, and Ranpo immediately went off towards the aquatics section. Kyouka wanted to see otters, and Ranpo wanted to see penguins. Dazai is fairly certain Fukuzawa just wanted to see the other two happy.

Yosano, Tanizaki, and Kenji moved off into the reptilian section, with Kenji mostly leading the way, and Tanizaki clearly nervous.

That left Atsushi, Akutagawa, Kunikida, and Dazai together.

Dazai was fairly certain Kunikida wouldn’t let Dazai alone in a public ever, so he expected this.

Atsushi held onto Akutagawa’s hand, and led them out into the big cats section.

Dazai and Kunikida followed suit.

One way or another, Kunikida and Atsushi trailed off more towards the lions, while Akutagawa seemed mesmerized by the tiger exhibit.

Dazai stayed back, standing beside Akutagawa and watching him intently. He occasionally glanced back at the tiger exhibit, of the tiger just happily basking in the sun. A smile came to Dazai’s face.

“You like tigers?” Dazai asked, to which Akutagawa nodded.

“I thought you knew that,” he replied, looking down at the locket around his neck and fidgeting with it.

It was a golden heart locket, the chain tucked underneath the collar of his short sleeved white blouse. Dazai was pretty certain there was likely a photo of Gin inside the locket, since the two siblings separated, though he had never actually seen it. The most notable part about the necklace was more of the charm on it, next to the locket. It was a simple charm, half of the full yin and yang symbol, the dark side of it.

Dazai had seen Atsushi with the other half of the symbol, clipped onto one of his handmade bracelets that Kyouka had given him.

“Well, I assumed you did,” Dazai replied, half mindedly running a hand through his curls, “Though I thought I’d confirm.”

“Why?” Akutagawa asked, looking up at Dazai in confusion, “What does it matter?”

“Why not?” Osamu replied with a chuckle, “You’re a part of the agency now, you’re like family. Why shouldn’t I know some things about you?”

Ryuunosuke glanced away, looking back at the tiger with a face of dismay.

“... I’m not used to that.”

“Used to what?”

“People wanting to know me as a person, and not just a weapon,” Akutagawa explained, followed by a soft sigh, “There wasn’t a point to getting to know me when I was in the Port Mafia, most of the people I met there were more interested in my ability than my person. Now that I’m here, it feels like whiplash.”

“Ah, I thought the same thing,” Dazai mused, propping up his face in his hands, “I used to be so angry with everyone at the agency, I’m not sure why. Everyone was kind to me, and yet, I still thought everyone there was out to get me… I suppose there probably is a reason I could figure out if I dig deep enough in my memories, but that never goes well.”

“Mm,” Akutagawa hummed in response, nodding along, “It may be… Strange to me as well, because I had never really had a family before.”

“Oh?”

“I barely knew my parents, and I hated them,” Akutagawa said, followed by a slight laugh, “I had always wondered why they bothered creating my sister and I if they were never going to care for us… Regardless, I didn’t know them long, as you know, I grew up on the streets.”

“I remember,” Dazai remarked, “You looked like a drowned rat when Odasaku and I first found you. I just about had to apprehend you to get you to take a bath.”

A smile appeared on Akutagawa’s face as he instantly hid it behind his hand, followed by a laugh.

Dazai stops mid thought at the sight, a certain unnamed emotion making its way into his chest, as if being hit with a sudden understanding.

For the first time in the six or seven years Dazai had probably known Akutagawa, it was the first time Dazai had seen pure joy on the other’s face.

Not fear, not unease, not stress, not anger.

Pure, and unfiltered joy.

It was almost hard to comprehend, Dazai had known this kid since he was fourteen, maybe fifteen, and never seen a genuine smile.

He almost felt like a proud parent, having taken in this kid off the streets and cared for him enough to finally feel joy again.

… Is this how Odasaku felt, all those years ago?

“Dazai?” Ryuunosuke asked, looking up at the brunette with curiosity.

Dazai snapped out of his thoughts, of his own epiphany and gave Akutagawa a smile.

“Hey, let’s go find Atsushi, alright?” He said, ruffling the smaller one’s hair as Akutagawa gave a nod.

They left the tiger exhibit, and met up with Atsushi and Kunikida at the center of the room. Atsushi had ran for Akutagawa instantly, catching the other in a practically bone-crushing hug.

“Ryuu! There you are, I was just about to text you!”

“I don’t answer my texts ever, jinko.”

“Well maybe you should! I’d like to know where you are sometimes!”

“No.”

Dazai looked at the two and laughed, then looked up at Kunikida and gave him a wave.

“Did you have fun, mister honey bunny?”

Kunikida rolled his eyes, “Call me that again and I’ll divorce you.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“I might,” Kunikida replied teasingly, “But yes, it was interesting. I take it that it was the same for you?”

Dazai nodded, glancing back at Akutagawa, who was now being clung to against his will.

“Yes, definitely,” Dazai replied, happily, “I learned Akutagawa likes tigers.”

“Ha,” Kunikida remarked, rolling his eyes as he glanced at Atsushi and Akutagawa, “Never would’ve expected that.”

[takivvatanga]

Budgie

A little girl with a bright red ribbon in her curly hair, her head resting against the train window, her backpack wedged between her feet. Her fingernails are painted bright orange. A reward for her good behaviour. It’s starting to chip and peel, but she won’t allow her mother to remove it. She likes the bright colour, likes the way it makes her feel grown up. Stella doesn’t want to be little anymore. She can’t wait to be like the big girls that catch the same train as her, with their long shiny hair and dark-rimmed eyes, their high heeled boots, their tight jeans, their shiny satin jackets. She steals a glance at a group of them, sitting across the aisle from Stella’s seat. Two girls share a set of headphones. Another is laughing brightly as she is looking at her phone. Her lips are painted a glossy pink. “What are you looking at, oi?”, one of them snaps at Stella. “Fucking stupid little kid.” Stella says nothing, lowers her head.  Stupid. That’s the word that hurts the most. Everyone knows, she thinks. Everyone knows I’m stupid. Before I’ve even said anything.

She doesn’t want to go to school today.  Not now. Not now that she’s already been reminded of the fact that she’s stupid, that she’ll always be stupid. That’s all school does, anyway. Make her feel bad. Make her feel dumb. There’s a park close to the next stop. She’s been there a couple of times before, all by herself. Stella wishes her mum would take her there some time. She’s asked to go so many times, but the answer is always no. Well, not exactly no. But no is what she means when she says: When the weather gets a bit warmer. When I’m not so busy with work. When I feel a little bit better.

Stella’s mother is having a difficult time. Stella doesn’t understand why, or what to do to make it better. She hardly leaves the house, but she isn’t there, either. Stella wishes she could help her, drag her out from that strange, half-real place behind her eyes. But she doesn’t know how. She’s only a little kid. A fucking stupid little kid. The train starts to slow, a cluster of tall, green trees beckoning from the distance. Stella looks down at her painted nails. For being good. Skipping school to spend all day at the park isn’t good. Stella feels a pang of guilt, but she shoulders her backpack and heads for the doors all the same. 

Her first stop is the little kiosk at the end of the platform. Her hand dips into the pocket of her jeans. A few coins, a pretty rock she dug up in the garden at home. The little bell that by all rights should be attached to Merlin’s collar. To stop him from catching birds, because he brings them inside before they’re even properly dead, leaving them to flutter frantically with their mangled wings, leaving a trail of pale feathers that keep on turning up in the most impossible places. Merlin hates the bell, so Stella secretly removed it. Unlike him, she likes the sound it makes. Stella counts her change, stands up on tiptoe to get a better look at the brightly coloured treats on offer. “Can I get a Crunchie?” “Shouldn’t you be at school?” The lady behind the counter gazes sternly down at the little dark haired girl over the rim of her thick glasses. Stella shrugs, trying her best to look unfazed.  “I don’t have school today. Can I get a Crunchie?” “You don’t have manners, either, do you?” “Can I get a Crunchie please.”  “Here you go.”

Stella hands over her coins, pockets the chocolate bar. What next? There’s a few shops scattered about, she could risk a look, perhaps? But what if someone notices her? What if they call her parents? They can’t find out about her skipping school, not in a million years. Stella bites her lip, frowns at the thought of the sheer amount of trouble she’d end up finding herself in. No, best to stick to the original plan. 

She makes her way down the street towards the park, taking a bite of her chocolate bar as she walks, skipping over the cracks in the sidewalk. Stella feels powerful, free to go and do whatever she pleases. No one will ever know about her little adventure as long as she keeps an eye on the time. She checks her watch, both excited and overwhelmed at the vast amount of hours stretching out before her. Today is hers, and hers alone. Stella hums a little tune. She doesn’t know where it comes from, doesn’t know the words. The song has always been there, has always been a part of her. Sometimes, it quietens for weeks on end, only to burst back into her mind with a vehemence that makes her little heart beat so fiercely that it almost hurts. She hasn’t heard it for some time, but as soon as she stepped through the park’s gates, there it was. Gravel crunches under her feet as she skips along the path that leads into the trees. She tries to imagine that she isn’t in the city anymore at all, that she is wandering alone in a wild, exciting place untouched by human hands. She picks up a stick, holds it in her hand like a weapon. It’s good to have a weapon. It’s dark, underneath those trees. There has to be something hiding in there. Wild animals, tigers, lions, wolves. Stella isn’t scared. She will fight all of them, if it comes down to it. She swishes her stick through the air, satisfied at the sound it makes, before pushing it through the belt loops of her jeans. The playground is just around the bend, in the next clearing. It’s a good playground. It has a flying fox, even. The flying fox is Stella’s favourite. This early in the day, there will be no one else here, she won’t have to wait her turn. The little girl breaks into a run, feeling not in the least bit guilty when the rattling of her schoolbooks and her pencil case reminds her of the fact that she shouldn’t really be here. But is she really here, if nobody finds out? 

Stella rides the flying fox until her arms hurt from pulling it back up onto the platform, plays on the swings until she’s dizzy. She goes down the slide a million times, even though it’s a slide for little kids that isn’t particularly exciting. The seesaw makes her wish she wasn’t here alone. Maybe she could balance across? She takes off her shoes and socks to get a better grip on the thin metal bar, stretches her arms out for balance, humming to herself as she carefully puts one foot in front of the other. 

Careful, now. Careful. It’s gonna go down shortly and she wants to make it across without falling off. It isn’t the sudden movement of the seesaw that sends her falling to the sandy ground, but the rustling noise from the bushes behind her. Was that footsteps? Stella scrambles to her feet, her heart in her throat, her hand clutching the stick at her hip. “Hello?” She’s trying to sound brave. It isn’t working. What if it’s a tiger? Or worse, a monster? One with big eyes and rows upon rows of terrible teeth, straight out of one of her nightmares? The monster coughs, spits, emerges from the undergrowth. It’s not a monster at all. It’s only a man. “I’m not allowed to talk to strangers!” Stella calls out, stick still in hand, inching towards where she’s put down her bag and shoes. “Just as well I’m not talking to you then”, the man replies. His voice sounds hoarse, as if his throat hurts. He’s wearing at least three coats, his jeans are stained, and there’s a hole as big as Stella’s hand in one of his shoes. His beard almost covers the entirety of his face, but Stella can see that his eyes are sad. “Shouldn’t you be at school?” Stella puffs out her chest, swishes her stick. “Shouldn’t you be at work?” He stops in his tracks. Stella can see that his hands are shaking. “It doesn’t work like that.” “How does it work, then?” “It works by staying in school, little girl.” “I’m not little. And my name is Stella. What’s yours?” “Budgie.” Stella wrinkles her nose, swishes her stick at some long grass beside her. “That’s not a real name.” “Well, it’s my name. It’s what people call me, that’s good enough.” “Where do you live?” He shrugs, then gestures around him. “Everywhere.” “No, I mean where’s your house? Where’s your parents?” “They...aren’t around anymore. Not for a long time.” “My Dad works at the hospital. My mum works too, but she works at home on the computer. She’s always on the computer.” Stella shrugs, too. She’s never met a homeless person before. She’s seen them around, of course, at the train station, in the city, in parks just like this one. But she’s never actually talked to one of them. He seems nice. Nice and more than just a little bit sad. Stella is used to people being sad. “Do they know you’re out here, skipping school?” “I’m not.” “Yes, you are.” “I’m not.” “Don’t lie. Makes you look stupid.” Stella slumps her shoulders. There it is again. That horrible, horrible word.  “I didn’t wanna go today.” “So you came to the park instead. Disturbing my rest with your yelling on that damn flying fox.”  “I didn’t know you were there! It’s too late to sleep anyway. It’s almost lunchtime!”

Stella doesn’t like the thought of someone sleeping during the day. It makes her think of her Dad, of having to keep quiet all day long because he needs to sleep the day away so he can work at night. Some weeks, Stella hardly sees him. It’s not so bad when he’s on day shift, she can accept the fact that he simply isn’t around. But when he’s asleep? It feels unfair, that he’s right there and yet so far from her reach. It makes her feel cheated.  “Do you work at night?” “You know what? Yeah. I guess I do.” “What’s your job?” “I told you, it doesn’t work like that. I do… a lot of things. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things I hope you won’t ever have to understand.” “Bad things?” “Sometimes, yeah.” Stella’s eyes grow wide. Should she be feeling scared? She picks up her backpack, holding it in front of her chest like a shield. “Don’t worry about it, yeah? I’m not gonna hurt you. I ain’t never hurt nobody.” “Then why did you say that?” “Because you asked.” “Huh.” Stella scratches her head. 

“How old are you?” “As old as my tongue and slightly older than my teeth.”  “And how old is your tongue?”  “As old as my nose.” “You got grey hair.”  “It’s about to get even greyer if you don’t stop asking me questions.”  “Sorry.”  “It’s okay. It’s...nice to talk to you, Stella. Not many around who’ll talk to...someone like me.”  “But you’re funny! And you’re nice. Not really really nice, but nice enough.”

He chuckles a little at that. There’s almost a glint in his eyes. Stella notices that he is very thin, his body appearing much bulkier than it really is because of his many coats. “What do you have for lunch? I got a sandwich. And a crunchie bar. Bought it with my own money.” “Huh. Sounds good.” Stella unzips her backpack, pulls out her lunchbox. It’s bright purple with an orange S on it. 

“Do you want some? It’s got tomatoes though. Do you like tomatoes?” “I do.” 

“Here. You can have it.” She opens the lid of the lunchbox, holds it out to him. He approaches slowly, hesitant. His left leg has a limp. Stella wonders why but doesn’t dare ask. His hands shake as he takes the sandwich. There’s dirt under his fingernails. “Thank you.” “It’s okay. Do you want some of my Crunchie, too?” She doesn’t wait for his answer, breaks the remaining chocolate bar in half, pops a piece into her mouth and holds the other out to him. When he takes it, his fingertips brush against hers. They are hard and callused, like stone. “You know, Stella - you really shouldn’t talk to strangers”, he tells her, in between bites of the sandwich. “Some people are bad. Dangerous. A little thing like you. No one even knows where you are. What if something happens to you?” “Nothing is gonna happen to me.” “Don’t be so sure of that. This city… this is a cold place, Stella. A place where bad things happen. Your Mum and Dad - they’d be beside themselves if something happened to you.” “I don’t think Mum would notice.” “She would. Believe me.” “You don’t even know my Mum.” “You’re right, I don’t. But I know she’d notice. It’s what Mums are supposed to do.” “She’s not like that. She’s...not like other Mums.” “That...sounds hard. I’m sorry. My parents weren’t exactly like other parents, either.” “Are they dead?” He nods, looks down at his feet. “I think so.” “You don’t know?” He shakes his head. Stella’s heart swells with sadness, with sympathy. Impulsively, she flings her arms around his legs. He smells of cold smoke, of stale sweat, of something else that Stella can’t quite place. 

“What are you doing?” He pulls away, almost violently, startled by the sudden contact. “Giving you a hug. So you don’t have to feel so sad.” “I’m not.” “Yes you are. I can tell.” “Maybe I am. But that doesn’t mean that you can go around hugging me like that.” “I’m just trying to help.” “I don’t need your help.” “Sorry.” 

He says nothing, for a while, fishes a pouch of tobacco out of one of his pockets, rolls a cigarette.  “Smoking is bad. My Dad smokes sometimes. He doesn’t think I know but I can smell it. Mum can smell it too, she gets real mad about it.”  “Your Mum’s a wise lady. It is bad. But there’s a lot of things that are worse.”  “What kind of things?”  “Things that are none of your business.”

Stella sighs, shifts her weight from one bare foot to the other, checks her watch. She needs to make sure that she doesn’t end up being late coming home. She doubts her mother would notice, but she’d rather not take any chances. 

“I have to go home now.” She picks up her socks, shakes them briskly to get rid of the sand and dirt, pulls them on. “Yeah. You better. You got far to go?” “Not too far. I catch the train. All by myself.” “Take care, eh?” “I always do.” Stella slips her sneakers on, tugs at the laces. “If I come back sometime, will you be here? I can give you another sandwich, and as many tomatoes as you can eat.” He doesn’t answer straight away, then gives an almost imperceptible nod of his head. “Probably, yeah. This is a good spot. Don’t think I’ll be moving on for a while.” “We can be friends.” “No, we can’t.” “Why not?” “It’s complicated. But if you see me, you’re more than welcome to say hello. It’s nice, to talk to someone.” “Bye, Budgie! Even though that’s still not a real name.” “Bye, Stella.” 

She shoulders her backpack, waves over her shoulder as she walks away. Budgie waves back. He looks sad, standing there all by himself. 

“Hey Stella!” “What?” “Stay in school! I mean it!” __________

“Mum? I’m home!” She’s right on time. Stella smiles to herself, proud of the successful deception, her little mind bursting with colourful memories of what turned out to be the most exciting, most memorable day she has had in a long time. “Mum?” Her mother is working at the kitchen table, eyes firmly fixed on the screen of her computer, a cup of tea beside her. Merlin is curled up on her lap. “Oh, hello Stella. How was school?” “Great. It was great, Mum. I had the best day.” “That’s lovely, sweetheart.” “Mum?” “Yes?” “Tomorrow, can I have two sandwiches?”

[blackdogblues]

NOT SURE if I want this to be canon but have some Nick/Anita angst :) with a happy ending of course.

-

  Goodneighbor is a long walk from Diamond City. Usually, he can make it in a handful of nights, if no one gets in the way. But this isn’t usual. This, tonight, and the nights it takes to get there, Nick is tired, tired for the first time ever in this un-life he lives. Vaguely, he remembers this feeling from before, from the old Nick, but he’s never felt it himself. Logically, it shouldn’t be happening--he’s a synth. Synths don’t get tired.

 And yet, here we are.

 He doesn’t bother with diagnostics. He doesn’t care.

 So it takes him a while to get there. He meanders a lot. Stops to take a lot of smoke breaks. And when he gets to the mayor’s house, he trudges up those stairs with feet that feel like concrete blocks and collapses on Hancock’s couch like a sack of bricks.

 “Hey, Nicky,” Hancock says from beside him, where he lounges like a drugged-up cat.

 “Hey, John.”

 Even Nick, with his dulled senses, can smell the rancid, toxic scent of chems on him. He’s stoned out of his gourd, because of course he is. Nick sighs and fishes in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes, and finds nothing.

 “Dammit--”

 Hancock produces a pack with a flick of his wrist, like a magician. Nick sighs again.

 “Thanks.”

 “No problem, my man.” Hancock watches as he takes the pack and taps out a cigarette, black eyes dull and yet all-seeing. “Rough case?”

 “Something like that.”

---

Dark eyes search his face. She’s started to wring her hands. Nick is stunned into silence. Anita’s gone and dropped a bomb--no, three--between the two of them, just like the ones that ended the world. And like those bombs, these change everything. Three bombs. Three words.

 I love you.

 The longer he goes without speaking, the more nervous she gets. But he can’t make his brain work. His neuro-computational circuitry comprehends it, the I and the love and the you, but he, Nick, the person, can’t make it fit together in his head. 

 Him. An old synth. Not even a good one.

 “Well?” she asks, real quiet. 

 He loves her too. He figured that out a long time ago. He loves the way she walks, the way she talks. He loves her eyes and her hair and her smile, loves that she cries during the kiss scenes in books, how she always wipes her feet outside even though there’s no such thing as a clean floor anymore, how she always lets Dogmeat sleep with her even when he’s been out in the dirt and rain. He loves her so much it takes away breath he doesn’t have. He loves her. 

 He has to say something. He wants to say something, some very specific somethings, but it just doesn’t work. It won’t work. It can’t work. Not him and her. Not a human and a synth. It just doesn’t… it doesn’t fit.

 So instead of saying “I love you too,” he says something else.

 “Look,” he says, taking a step forward. “Doll…”

 She takes a step back, still watching him. Her face has started to fall.

 “I know how you think you feel,” he hears himself say. “But you don’t wanna do this.”

 “Why not?” Her voice is small and brittle. “Do you… do you not--”

 “That’s not it,” he says quickly, because even with what he’s doing, he can’t let her say the words. “I mean… look at me.” He gestures to himself. “I’m not--I’m not human, sweetheart.”

 “I don’t want human. I want you.”

 “You say that now, but there are so many things I wouldn’t be able to do for you. Things I don’t got the parts for--”

 “You think I care about sex?” Anita says, voice taking on an indignant tone.

 “It’s more than that,” Nick says, exasperated. He takes off his hat and runs his fingers over his head, like the old Nick used to do when he had hair. “Do you really wanna be the woman who shacked up with a synth? No one’s gonna trust you. Everywhere you go, people are gonna look at you funny, call you names, treat you different--”

 “I was a black woman before the bombs fell,” she says harshly. “I already know what that feels like.”

 “Then you know it’d kill me to make you go through more of it,” he shoots back. She shrinks at his tone, and he softens. “Don’t ever think I don’t care for you, doll. But this… it just ain’t gonna work.”

 Her eyes are swimming with tears. He wants to kiss them away so badly it aches, but he can’t cross a bridge he’s already burned. 

 “Okay,” she whispers. He sighs.

 “‘Nita…”

 “It’s okay, Nicky,” she says, even softer. “It’s okay.”

---

 Nick lights up his cigarette and takes a long drag, wishing he could feel the nicotine. He needs it pretty damn badly right about now.

 They sit like that, the two of them, with John playing with his hunting knife and Nick smoking and playing the conversation over and over in his head like a broken record, for an unknowable time. He thinks it’s morning by the time he finally says something.

 “John.”

 “Hmmmmm?” 

 “If you love someone, and you aren’t any good for them, are you supposed to let them go?”

 Hancock lifts his head a little to look at Nick.

 “Normally,” he says. “I would say yeah. But I can’t think of anyone who’s too good for Nick Valentine.”

 They lapse into silence again. Then--

 “I want her.”

 “Then what are you doing in my room? Not that I’m not flattered ‘n all--”

 Nick rises from the couch.

 “That’s enough of that.”

 “You know you love me.” Hancock stabs the knife into the couch and rolls over to watch Nick stride for the door. “Go get ‘er, tiger.”

 “If it’s not too late.”

 “Dontcha know?” Hancock says. “The hero always arrives in the nick of time.”

 He laughs at his own joke while Nick heads for the stairs.

[lihikainanea]

(Le babie) the big sad: bill punishing tiger for something, but she either 1) didn't actually do anything to deserve a punishment yet bill thinks she did, or 2) really doesn't wanna be punished and can't mentally handle it so she cries or hides from him :(

Oh my god. Oh dear, god I feel like I just got junk punched.

Come with me, friends, down this road of agony. Hold my hand. It’s dark in here and I’m scared.

WHY didn’t she safe word? What did she do to merit punishment? Okay, okay okay okay hang on. Let’s wrap our heads around this. I have so many feelings because on the one hand, I don’t know what tiger would do that had her thinking she didn’t deserve punishment but that made Bill think she did (open to ideas, friends.) On the other hand, let’s say she like...broke or ruined something of Bill’s that he loved. I don’t think he would ever punish her for a genuine accident, which means that she would have been taunting him before but I also don’t think she would taunt him with something that meant a lot to him, you know? She would never be so careless.

Maybe....maybe tiger is wearing one of Bill’s favourite shirts. And she’s doing it because she’s all soff for him, and tiger basically has a free pass to anything in his wardrobe but this...this is really his favourite shirt. And he doesn’t get antsy when she wears it, but she’s being kind of a pain in the ass today. And maybe they’re in the kitchen cooking, and Bill is just kind of eyeing the shirt because tiger is clumsy in any situation, but in the kitchen as they cook something messy, Bill is doubly as hesitant. But tiger is in a sassy little mood.

“Tiger, be careful would you?” Bill warns as she opens a can of crushed tomatoes, pours them into a pan as they splatter. Tiger just rolls her eyes.

“I’m being careful, Bill,” she huffs and grabs a wooden spoon, stirs the pan.

“It’s just my favourite shirt, that’s all,” he mumbles.

“So if I ruin it I’ll owe you what, $5,000? or is this one of your $8,000 ones?” she sasses. Bill glares at her, but he doesn’t let her get away with that. Grabbing her elbow, he yanks her to him and flicks her nose.

“Watch it, kid,” he warns. She huffs again, and it earns her another flick on the nose.

“I thought you liked it when I wore your shirts,” she challenges him.

“I do like it when you wear my shirts. But I’m asking you to be careful,” he says again, and when she looks like she might roll her eyes, he grabs onto her chin roughly.

“And I said I’ll be careful,” she retorts. He doesn’t like her tone, but he lets her go anyway and she grabs the bottle of red wine.

“I’m an adult, in case you hadn’t noticed,” she says, “And I’m pretty capable of oh, I don’t know....not spilling things everywhere.”

He doesn’t even glance up, but she pours a hefty glass and takes a swig.

“Or maybe I’m not?” she says and his eyes flick up, just in time to see her purposely tilts the glass in front of her chest so that the wine comes dangerously close to the edge.

“Oops! I forgot how to adult,” she says sarcastically.

“Tiger.”

“Whoops!” she tilts the glass again towards her chest and swings it up at the last second, “Forgot there again.”

He puts his knife down and advances on her, but she takes a step back.

“Relax, sergeant. If you’re so paranoid, I’ll just take it off,” she puts the wine glass down on the counter, raises the shirt over her head. And then almost in slow motion, Bill stares in horror--the shirt is pulled over her head but her hands knock the glass on the way down, spilling burgundy red liquid all over his shirt as she still has her forearms in it. Tiger’s eyes go wide at the exact moment that Bill’s narrow, and his jaw clenches as he stares at her.

Her mouth drops open and she squeaks, but then in the blink of an eye, she’s gone. Running down the hall.

Bill takes a second, clenches his fists, takes a deep breath in.

“Tiger!” he bellows a second later and goes running after her. He checks the spare room, throws the closet door open, checks under the bed. Whips the curtains back. When he doesn’t find her he charges down the hall and into the bedroom, does the same thing. Just as he’s kneeling to check in the closet for her he hears footsteps running and hears a door slam, so he shoots up.

“I swear to god kid,” he threatens, “The more you hide the worse it’ll be.”

And he’s mad, he’s madder than hell because accidents happen but this happened because she was being a brat and not doing something simple that he asked. But the more she hides, the more he chases and can’t find her, the more his resistance kink is dialled to a million. She won’t be able to sit for a week, and that’s if she’s lucky.

Tiger is huddled in on herself in the hallway cupboard, and listen man--she feels awful. It’s why she ran. She’s beating herself up, berating herself, already in tears--because she knows better. And she should have just been careful, shouldn’t have taunted him like that. But she did, and she fucked up, and now his favourite shirt is ruined and she feels just so...bad. Bad in the context of their dynamic. She’s always so good for him, and this time she not only upset him, but she ruined one of his favourite things and tiger just....tiger thinks it’s done man. He won’t want her anymore. She’s too bad. And she’s spiralling and maybe--YES THAT’S IT--maybe she doesn’t safe word because she is incredibly aware of the fact that she deserves punishment.

She deserves all the bad things. Punishment. She deserves to not have him anymore. She deserves to be ignored by him, refused affection. And tiger is a martyr, so she’s not even thinking about using her safe word here--even though she is in not the right frame of mind at ALL to be punished--she’s done. With herself. Because how could she be so stupid? But there’s also like...man, there’s still an ounce of self-preservation in her. She knows she deserves the punishment, but at the same time--she can’t handle it. Can’t handle him putting his hands on her so roughly right now, even if she knows she deserves it. She can’t handle the roughness, can’t handle his anger (even though punishment is never about anger--in her headspace at that moment, she thinks it is), can’t handle the physicality and the pain of it.

She’s a mess.

But it’s why she also eventually stops switching her hiding place, and she doesn’t realize how loud her cries are but that’s how Bill finds her--just by the sound of her sobs. He’s still mad so he whips open the closet door and she flinches, curls up even more around herself, tries to push back further into the corner of the closet. And one look at her, and Bill knows something is pretty wrong.

“Tiger,” he murmurs lowly, lowers down and kneels in front of her, “Come here, sweetheart.”

But she shakes her head frantically, sobs choking her throat.

“No, no no no no no no no no,” she mutters over and over again.

Bill’s heart breaks, and his first instinct is to try and touch her to calm her down. So he reaches a hand out to her but she panics, lets go a horrible cry that Bill doesn’t ever want to hear again, and frantically pushes off her feet to try and get more into the corner of the closet and away from him. His eyes go wide, and he pulls his hand back.

“Pineapple,” he says, he tries to keep his tone gentle but he has to say it loud enough for her to hear. She stops her panicked movements, stops trying to get away from him.

“Tiger, pineapple,” he says again, “I’m not going to punish you.”

She’s not trying to claw her way away from him anymore, but she’s still sobbing and won’t look at him.

“Can you hear me, kid?” he asks, “I’m not going to punish you. Come on out.”

But tiger’s mind is just fucked, and she thinks maybe he’s trying to trick her. Get her out so he can grab her and then punish her.

“You’re lying,” she cries, “You’re going to hurt me.”

Bill rests on his knees, makes himself as small as he can so she’s not threatened by his size.

“Pineapple. Tiger, I would never do that,” he murmurs to her, “I’m not going to punish you. I promise, I’m not going to punish you.”

He keeps saying it because he needs to get through to her. Needs to be louder than those thoughts spiralling around her.

“Can I come closer?” he asks, but she shakes her head and starts backing up again.

“Okay, okay, easy kid,” he says. He slowly brings his legs around him, sits cross legged in front of her.

“I won’t come closer. But I’m going to stay right here,” he says, “Until you tell me that it’s okay.”

He lets it fall silent for a few minutes, testing to see if she’ll say anything, but she’s still just crying.

“Tiger,” he tries again a few minutes later, “I’m angry with you. But I’m not going to punish you, kid. I promise. Please, come out so I can hold you. That’s it, okay? I just want to hold you.”

And y’know, he tells her he’s angry with her because it’s the truth. And if he had said he wasn’t angry, then that would be a lie, tiger would know it was a lie, and she would think he was lying about not punishing her, too.

It takes her a long ass time. it starts first with the mumbled apologies, sad and interrupted by gasping breaths and hiccups, but Bill stays more still than a statue. Doesn’t move. Just keeps telling her gently that he knows she’s sorry, and that it’s okay. It’s followed by a few minutes of silence, but her cries are quieting down a bit. They’re still pretty intense, but now they’re a lot more sad than they are panicked.

“Bill...” she cries, kind of starts to crawl out a bit, and Bill ducks his eyes to see if she’ll meet his gaze. She doesn’t.

“I’m right here, sweet girl,” he says, “I’m not going to punish you.”

She sniffles, drags herself on all fours and starts to make her way out.

“Sit on your hands,” she says to him. His brow knits in confusion.

“What?”

“Sit on your hands, please,” she says again, and he does. Shifting his legs, he tucks his hands under his butt and waits for her next move.

“You promise you won’t grab me?” she asks. He sighs gently.

“Tiger, I promise you,” he says, still trying to catch her eyes, “I won’t grab you.”

“Swear on Granny’s head?”

“I swear on Granny’s head,” he says.

Slowly, so slowly, she starts to crawl out and over to him. Her face is red and tear-stained, her bottom lip is still quivering, but she eventually makes it to him and very hesitantly crawls into his lap, curling up to his chest. He nudges her with his nose, burying it deep wherever he can, kissing her wherever he can reach.

“Please, kid,” he murmurs, “Please can I put my arms around you?”

He feels her nod into his chest but it’s not good enough, because he needs to be sure.

“Say it, sweet girl,” he says, “Tell me it’s okay.”

“Yes,” she mumbles, and he moves as slowly as he can but he’s too impatient so it’s not as slow as he would like. But he wraps her up in his arms, crushes her to him, probably even shifts a bit to get her lying down with him on top of her, because she’ll feel safer that way. And he needs to know what happened--needs to know why her mind got away on her, needs to know why she didn’t use her safe word, needs to know all of it so that next time, he can help her faster. But now is not the time for that.

And it’s just such a hard hitter, you know, because a few days later tiger is going to need the punishment so that she can feel corrected, feel worthy of his correction, but she’s probably not going to ask him for it because she doesn’t think she deserves it, and Bill is certainly not going to just offer it up because he still thinks she’s in no state of mind to be punished.

But also, I really, really want to explore the other angle here, I just need some ideas for it. Because I think Bill knows tiger really well, I think he reads her really well, but I don’t think he’s perfect. And I think sometimes he gets it wrong--which is normal, because if she’s not saying anything, he can’t be expected to always get it right. That’s not fair. But what if one time she’s really not in the right mind to be punished but Bill doesn’t realize and tiger doesn’t say anything, so he punishes her anyway? Ohhhh my..

[turnaboutimagines]

Heya ! Can I request a fluffy regina berry x male child reader oneshot which takes place after the events of AAJA ? The reader is a 6 years old orphan living in the streets who take refuge in the circus from a snowstorm while it's closed. He thinks he is alone but he is frightened by her tiger approaching him until she arrives and stops him. Knowing he has nowhere to go, she picks him up and decides to raise him like her lil bro.

Regina is an absolute sweetheart and I was pleasantly surprised to see a request for her!  I feel like she’s exactly the type of person to get carried away and rush into something like this too alsdkjfslkdjf.  Hope this is to your taste, pal!feat. Male!Orphan!Child!Reader

The cold is bitter.  It seeps into your bones and freezes your joints as the wet snowflakes find purchase clinging to your hair and eyelashes.  Your hands are quickly turning an angry red as the shivers wracking your tiny body become more and more intense.

You need to find some place safe and warm… and there’s only one place that pops into your head: the Berry Big Circus.  It’s early morning and closed, meaning that there shouldn’t be anyone else around.  Plus, it’s in town for just a short while and you’ve always wanted to see what a circus is like.

Holding your breath, you make a run to the tent’s entrance, hoping that no one spots you in the heavy flurry of snow.  With fumbling fingers, you manage to create enough of a space in the tied up flaps of tarp to wiggle your way in.  It’s a tight fit, but you’ve been through worse.

And it is so worth it.

Your eyes go wide as you find yourself in a bonafide circus tent, it’s massive and glittering and just… everything that you thought it would be.  It feels magical!  Even with all of the props lying around,  But most importantly?  It’s warm, you’re out of the blizzard, and it seems like you’re alone with the only sounds being that of animals stirring in the back.  You’re safe…

…which means it’s time to warm up and explore.

Rubbing your hands together and blowing on them to try and regain feeling as you make your way over to the giant golden lion’s head.  It towers over you, teeth glinting in the overhead lights.  It was awesome.  Perhaps it would’ve scared some of the other children you knew, but you were always braver than them.

It seemed like there was something inside, most likely some equipment for the performances.  Curious, you step in and lower your hands back down, still rubbing them together for warmth as you get a better look.  The maw of the lion feels even larger on the inside somehow, kind of like the tent itself.  There are all sorts of different inside, from bowling pins to shiny silk scarves.  You can’t help but pick one of the purplish pink cloths up, running it through your fingers despite not having all your feeling back quite yet.

A grin breaks across your face as you toss one end up in the air, creating a wave of silky purple before beginning to twirl it around.  Like the gold of the lion, it catches the light to a dazzling effect as it ripples from your movements.

Maybe it’s for the people who fly around?  You’d heard they did that there, but you’d never seen it for yourself, but you think it’d look cool to watch someone pull this in the air behind them, it already looked—

Footsteps.

Behind you.

You freeze up, breath catching in your throat as you realize that… those don’t sound like they belong to a person, they’re too quiet and there’s too many of them.  Swallowing, you bring yourself to turn around… and come face to face with a tiger, slowly stalking toward you with its ambling gait.

The scarf falls out from your fingers as you freeze in place, breathing coming quick and uneven as you fight the urge to scream, knowing full well that’d give you away to anyone nearby.  If you don’t move or make a sound… it can’t see you, right?  That’s how this works?  Or were you supposed to run away?  Could you even outrun it?  You knew how to run away from scary things on the street, but you never learned anything about running away from a tiger.

Silent, fearful tears are streaming down your face as you stand as still as a statue.  Your tactic doesn’t seem to be working, because the tiger continues to come closer before it stops—dropping into what looks like a pouncing position.  You try to run, then, but you’re frozen with fear, legs feeling like jelly with how hard they’re trembling. You screw your eyes shut, too scared to do anything… when there’s a voice:

“Regent, there you are!  What are you doing, you silly little tiger!?  We have so much training to do today!”

Your heart’s pounding in your chest as you open one eye.  The tiger stands back up and looks back, letting out a strange grunting sound.  A lady comes running up to the tiger’s side, but she lets out a gasp when she sees you before her face lights back up again.

She’s like a princess from right out of a fairy tale, with her golden ringlets and shining smile and ability to talk to animals.

“Oh, Regent it looks like you made another friend!  You were trying to comfort him too, weren’t you?  How sweet of you!”  She gives the tiger a pat on the head before approaching you.  “And who might you be?  We weren’t supposed to have any visitors today.”

She doesn’t seem mad at you, but you can’t be sure of that.  Sometimes the older people who seem the nicest and smile the most are the meanest.  You sniffle and wipe away your tears as you stutter out your name, not wanting to look like a coward in front of the brave lady who’d just saved you from becoming that tiger’s next meal.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you!  My name’s Regina Berry, I’m the animal tamer here.”  She offers you one of her hands to shake, which you take after a moment’s hesitation.  It makes you feel more at ease.  “But what brings you to our circus today?  The weather outside is really scary…”

You nod.  “I-I needed to get warm… so I came in here.  I-I didn’t have anywhere else to go, Ms. Berry…  I’m sorry.”

Her eyebrows draw upwards, smile quickly turning into a concerned frown as she seems to think over the implications of your words.

“All by yourself?”

Another nod.

“But what about your parents?”

“I don’t have any…”

“…So, yours are stars in the sky, too?” she asks, eyes crinkling as her frown turns into a wince, tears well up in her distant eyes as she seems to recall a bad memory.

You blink back your own tears, but you nod after swallowing thickly.  You have to keep a brave face, but it’s hard when you think about them. 

“Mine are the same way… but I have everyone here are the circus and all my animals!  We’re like one big, happy family now.”  She brightens back up and tilts her baton back behind her as she seems to sparkle.  “What about you?  Do you have anybody like that?”

You shake your head and she seems to deflate, pouting as she brings her baton back in front of her and holds it tightly with both hands.

“Oh, nobody…?  But where do you live, then?”

You give her a small shrug before hugging yourself.  “Outside…”

“O-On the streets!?  Shouldn’t… shouldn’t you be at an orphanage or something?  I’ve heard that they’re really scary places where witches like to spirit children away to…”

You shake your head harder this time, but don’t refute her claims since there’s at least seem truth to it… but you don’t like thinking about those days at that terrible place.

Tears are welling up in your eyes when Regina suddenly hops up onto her feet, eyes sparkling as she bounces up and down.  “Oh, I know!  You can join the circus and be like my little brother!  We can teach you all sorts of tricks and I can show you how to make friends with all the animals!  You’ve already earned Regent’s friendship, so it’ll be easy for you.“

You stare up at her and back at the tiger who’s just… laying calmly behind her.  Nothing like the ferocious beast he seemed like when he was stalking toward you.  If you knew how to work with him, then maybe he wouldn’t be scary at all…!  And, strangely enough, you trust her more than you’ve trusted anyone in a long time.  It feels like she’s genuine, but this is still a lot to take in.

But you joining the circus… having a roof over your head and food to eat and a family of sorts?  That’s like a dream come true!  There just has to be some sort of catch… you’d learned to be suspicious of things that seemed too good to be true.

“A-Are you serious?”

“Of course!  I can’t just let you go back out in the cold all by yourself and I’ve been asking Uncle Moe to get me an assistant animal tamer for a while now.  I can teach you everything you need to know!  So, no catch!”  She pauses and that same sad expression crosses her face as her fantasy seems to burst.  “Oh, but if you don’t want to be my little brother and work at the circus, then we can still make sure you go where you want to, too.  I don’t wanna pressure you… I’m just excited about maybe having a little brother…”

“N-No, I wanna join the circus!” you blurt out before your face flushes pink, a bit embarrassed by how quickly you said that.  “If that’s really okay, I mean…”

Regina hops up and down, curls bouncing with her, and lets out a delighted laugh.  You can’t help but laugh, too, her exuberance already rubbing off on you.  When she calms down some, she offers you her hand once again with that same radiant smile.  

“Of course it is!!!  How about we go to the cafeteria!?  I’ll make you some hot chocolate and I’ll talk with my Uncle Moe about it!  He should be there at this time.  I have to make sure it’s okay with him, first, since he’s the ringleader and head of our happy family.  And you can think about it more, too!”

You take her hand and give her a shy nod as you place your hand in hers, hopeful that you’re going to finally find a home and a Berry Big family here at the circus.

[wincore]

wayv + sci-fi!au

a/n: i dont have a lot of time but i do have a lot of ideas so here’s my attempt at a bullet scenario!! i also wanted to write sci-fi aus which are not post apocalyptic so here’s my best and i know these are all like really far fetched and maybe a little cliched but it was fun writing them!!

doctor!kun

a doctor for mutants!!

so kind and steady, he pretty much won you over the first time you met

when you find yourself crying by the side of the street after being kicked out of your apartment

you did not expect a man with kind eyes and sweet smile to show up and offer you water and some tissues

especially an attractive man with an angelic voice 

even the unblemished white of his jacket adds to the whole angelic look

you’re so out of it after the whirlwind of events that the slightest of kindness makes you even more emotional

you start bawling your eyes out when he offers to listen

and you actually want to tell him everything

how you just naturally attract trouble, especially with your strange powers

how you’re not trained enough to control them and you’re just sort of clumsy 

how you really hate yourself for being born this way

but you can’t - you know he’d freak out, and you’d lose the last shred of kindness left for you

the serious look in the man’s face takes you by surprise

‘you’re...you’re a mutant, are you not?’

your eyes widen as you feel alert

he’s not part of the government, is he? he’s not trying to take you those horrible labs, is he? - oh god

you sit frozen in shock and no idea what to do

‘don’t worry!!’ he reassures you when he notices your obvious discomfort

‘i won’t harm you! here, i’ll stay five feet away if that makes you feel better’

he gets up and moves away, putting his arms up to emphasize he means no harm

you shy away from him but he stands still in his place

‘please don’t be afraid. i’m just like you.’

you raise an eyebrow at that and when he signals you to come forward, you do, albeit reluctantly and cautious

he takes your arm, careful enough to be gentle and presses his palm against the burn mark you got last week

you hiss at the contact and he mumbles a sorry before letting his palm rest for a few moments

when he removes it, your burn marks are completely erased like they were never there

you stare at him agape and he breaks into a wide smile

‘i’m kun. and i was wondering if you’d join our school for mutants.’

‘i’m sorry, what?’

‘it’s to train people like us for the world. how to survive and pass off as a normal human being’

kun seems serious about this, and you can’t help but feel a certain feeling of trust towards him - he’s like you, after all

well, not as messy as you are, though

which is why you agree, and find yourself in front of a large yet old brick building - it’s so large, you’re sure it could house over hundreds of people!

there’s a giant courtyard behind the first entrance, and the housing lies on the other side

the top floors of the housing building, lined with bay windows, catches your attention with how comfortable they look, how inviting

and the numerous people of all ages - children, teenagers, adults - present in the courtyard doing their own thing livens up the atmosphere of the entire place

you feel yourself smiling as kun gives you a tour around the place

unfortunately, you don’t listen to any instruction he tells you

when you look at kun, the stern expression he gives you makes you freeze

‘you didn’t listen, did you?’ he frowns

‘i...uh...ho-how would you know?’

‘i’ve seen enough kids on their first day’ he loosens up and gives you a smile

‘wait how old are you?’ you ask, puzzled ’don’t tell me you’re like 50′

‘do i look 50 to you?’ 

you laugh at his expression, all sour, and despite you barely learning anything about the place, you’re hopeful again

the next few weeks are the difficult part

you have different trainers for controlling each aspect of your abilities - defense, cover-up, intensity control

very occasionally, kun takes your defense classes and boy is he good at martial arts

the entire point of the defense classes is to defend yourself without getting your opponent hurt

you kinda suck at it but you have never seen anyone move so easy to find but so difficult to get a hold of, almost as if he’s untouchable

you wonder if you’ll ever be able to do that

there’s lessons on how to behave too - the ones you hate most

but those are probably the ones you need the most, you think disdainfully

the worst part, however, is that you don’t get to see kun very often

he’s always busy tending to the kids and other patients (particularly, these two kids called yangyang and chenle) or taking classes for other students in his free time

and while you have your own schedule, you really wanted to spend more time with kun

shhhhh no you totally don’t have a crush what

surprisingly, kun barely ever uses his abilities - just for really young kids to amaze them or if it’s a serious injury

he’s gone through med school, and you’re sure he possesses superhuman memory too with the way he has every part of the human body memorized

he’s really kinda cool to you - the way he works systematically and thoughtfully 

the night your sleeplessness is at its worst, you walk hesitantly towards kun’s office, hoping he could give you some mild sleeping pills

and maybe get to talk with him with that excuse

but instead, you eavesdrop on something you’re not supposed to

‘the government?’ kun asks the figure in black, sitting opposite him in his room

‘yes. they’re saying they know our location. but they want us to peacefully surrender ourselves.’

‘they’ll never find this place. sicheng’s invisibility barriers are the strongest ever known. plus, you’re good at masking. you know that.’

‘yes, but aren’t you worried? they’re not usually this bold.’

‘taeyong. you know this is the safest place we have. if we were to have been breached, we already would have.’

the figure called taeyong relaxes into the chair and there’s a quiet pause

‘yeah, you’re right. there’ll always be threats. i just got worked up.’

there’s silence for a while and you hold your breath for fear of being caught

kun has his eyes focused on taeyong

and you think he’s about to say something when his eyes suddenly move to your form behind the door

you freeze, a shiver running down your spine at the strong gaze you’re met with before scrambling away

you sneak into a narrow space between two walls, suddenly afraid that you’ve done something you shouldn’t have

you try keeping a watch on the corridor, looking out for any shadow or figure

you don’t wanna be caught eavesdropping by kun - he’s pretty strict about keeping meetings confidential 

and when you’re sure enough time has passed, you peek your head out to find an empty corridor

you sigh in relief and push yourself out of the narrow cramped space to take a deep breath

‘you know, you should really focus on the sounds you make if you’re going to sneak around.’

you jump at kun’s voice and take a step back on reflex only for your back to hit the wall

‘i’m- i’m really sorry i- i didn’t mean to- i’m sorry’

kun doesn’t say anything, only draws closer till you wish you could fall through the wall for some space between the two of you

judging from the deep frown, you’d say you’re in for quite some scolding

but all you get is a long silence

instead, he presses his hand gently against your cheek

‘how’d you get that cut?’ he asks, looking concerned

you never noticed but now that he mentioned it, you feel a low burning on your cheek

you rack your brain to find an answer to when you could possibly get a gash like that 

but instead of waiting, kun just draws his thumb along it

and the burning falls numb

you look at him, confused

you thought he disliked using his powers

‘why did you- why did you do that? you could have just sent me to the infirmary. a band-aid would have been fine.’

‘that’s okay. it’s fixed either way.’

‘i thought you didn’t like using your gifts.’

‘it does take up the better part of my energy, yes, but i’m off to bed now anyway.’

kun takes a step back and you finally detach yourself from the wall

‘kun?’ 

you call when he’s about to turn away

‘hm?’

kun looks at you with the same warmth he had when he brought you here

‘thanks. i’ll never forget what you’ve done for me.’

he laughs, his brow up in a confused twist

‘i just want to keep you safe.’

kun presses a light kiss to your forehead, so soft you almost don’t feel it

‘good night’ he says and walks away

leaving you blushing deep red in a lonely corridor

gamer!ten

when you find your ex-boyfriend at the city aquarium, you feel the urge to crawl into some hole and wither away

you just wanted a day to relax and have fun, but it looks like fate doesn’t want you to

your ex hasn’t noticed you and you quickly hide behind one of the corners to avoid confrontation

you sigh when he leaves in another direction, and turn around to get back on your little tour

your heart almost leaps out of your chest when you find a puffer fish staring right back at you

you’re so sure there wasn’t any exhibit behind you - it was just a wall, wasn’t it?

when you look around and back at the glass enclosure, there’s suddenly a tiger shark there instead of a round little pufferfish

you’re honestly starting to freak out

you slowly back away from the shark staring at you, but when you bump into someone, you let out a scream

‘JEEZ you’re so loud!’

your eyes meet another’s and they stare at you with a calculating sort of expression

‘i uh hi...uh...sorry......about that’ you stutter

he stares at you blankly

‘oh,,,uh, it’s okay’

there’s an awkward silence before he opens his mouth again

‘wait a minute you’re real aren’t you?’

you knit your brows together

‘i’m sorry?”

he cocks his head to the side and the expression on his face changes into a mortified one before he looks back to you

‘okay don’t freak out’

and of course you turn around to see what he saw

and it’s a fucking blue whale in a tank that’s probably not meant to hold a blue whale

your eyes follow the slow cracking on the glass, every new vein kicking a bout of fear in you

but the guy beside you wastes no time in grabbing your hand and bolting before it all comes crashing down

at least one of you knows what’s going on

you’ve barely reached the exit, when water rushes in from behind and the grip on your wrist tightens 

‘this is gonna be messy’ he warns with a grimace

and you’re hit with a giant wave of water

great you’re gonna drown in an aquarium full of weird sea creatures who may or may not try to eat you

and the blue turns to black but you don’t feel the grip on your arm loosen, safely anchoring you

you wake up in an empty convenience store when bright daylight streams in through the windows

‘where the hell and fuck am i’

‘oh my god you’re awake i didn’t know if you could respawn i thought you died FOR REAL-’

‘what’

you see the guy from the aquarium, dark hair all mussed and wet, sitting with a towel around his neck and he passes one to you, which you take reluctantly

‘you really don’t know?’ he asks

you glare at him as you stand up and walk closer to him

do you look like you’re joking?

‘okay okay. you’re in a video game. i have no idea how you got in though. last time i checked glitches aren’t sentient.’

huh okay

at least it explains the shape-shifting fish and why an entire aquarium came crashing down on its own

you try to not think about the obvious madness of everything so far

‘i’m ten, by the way. and you’re welcome.’

‘for what?’

‘for saving your life?’ he answers with an incredulous face

you’re both quiet for a while before he sits down in front of you, still drying his hair

‘did you really not suspect a thing till now?’ he asks

‘i mean,,,,uh,,,,,when i saw my ex something had to be wrong’

he snickers as he adjusts something on his watch

you look at him expectantly

‘so are you going to explain why i’m here or why my ex is here or why everything feels so real’

‘oh right. have you ever seen those drones around your neighborhood?’

‘the round black ones?’

‘yeah! those are our scanning drones. we wanted the game to be as realistic as possible!’

‘so you spy on people?’

‘no’ 

it takes ten a full fifteen minutes to explain that this is just one of the new releases from his company and he’s a beta tester (or avid gamer, if you may) looking around for glitches in the background to report them before missions and enemies and other details can be added

you might live in one of the most technologically advanced cities in the world 

and you know times are changing from phone screens and ar/vr headsets but

never in your life would you have thought virtual reality could get so real that you confuse it with actual reality

‘what are you doing?’ you ask as you eye ten tap away on his watch

‘reporting that glitchy fish’

‘glitchy fish’ you repeat

that’s one way to put it

when he’s done he looks up and stares at you for a while till it gets on your nerves

‘what?’

‘i still don’t know if you’re a glitch or a player, darling’ he says with a hard stare

you gulp

he’s not going to leave you behind, is he?

‘you have any idea where your real body could be right now? maybe we could disconnect you from the server’

you shrug. you don’t remember starting or even purchasing this game

‘the game’s not even released to the public though, i have no idea how you’d get the game.’

you sigh. this isn’t getting anywhere

suddenly ten seems to realize something as he stands up straight

‘maybe your save files got deleted! that’s why you have no memory.’

you nod along without fully understanding

an explanation’s better than none

‘and? what do i have to do to get out of this game?’

ten scratches the back of his head sheepishly

‘haven’t figured that part out yet’

you sigh into your hands

‘we’re not giving up yet don’t be so sad’

you look back up to be greeted with a thousand watt smile

‘i, personally, think that sentient glitches are kinda cool’

‘i’m not a glitch!’ you protest

you can’t be. you just don’t know how you got into the game that’s all

‘well then let’s get going!’ he says as he pulls you up

you stumble behind him trying to steady yourself with his walking pace as you both exit the store

‘where are we going?’ you ask

‘you have a place to live, don’t you?’

‘but it’s,,,,,a simulation’

‘so are we now let’s get going, glitch’

‘i’m not a glitch, dickwad’

ten hesitates for a moment before nudging you to lead the way

‘we can try jogging your memory tomorrow’ he shrugs

‘if it doesn’t work, i’ll go back and try searching for your save files’

and you trust him on that 

virtual sunsets can’t be so pretty, you think as you walk towards your apartment, your only hope lying with a stranger

maybe this video game isn’t so bad

secret agent!winwin

uhh more like intergalactic secret agent

as someone from earth, you’re not happy with how things are going

illegal activities have grown in numbers, with crime rate off the charts

and the worst yet, the government is desperately trying to hide that everything is going wrong

so of course they want to send agents on covert operations to solve some of the problems

and man, being one of earth’s best secret agents is a pain in the ass

because you get sent to bring down an illegal kaiju fighting ring all on your own

if those monsters are let loose, you can’t even begin to comprehend the damage

you have no idea how they even made those - and they even established a command link with them!

it’s like mankind is itching to drive themselves extinct

as for your plan

getting in is easy for you with your disguise as a spectator 

you’re gonna thank the face sculptors you borrowed from the labs, but the rest was all you

in all honesty, the plan you made is easy

sneak into the team chambers, make sure the kaiju are put to sleep, and destroy the command links

and then of course, you make sure the ring is irreparably destroyed

should be easy enough - you have all your limbs and vital organs, what else can you need?

turns out having a few more eyes or blades on your spine or being as big as a skyscraper would also be cool

the near death experience you have in the spectator area makes you wonder why people come here at all

the creatures aren’t fully limited to the ring - sometimes their deadly sharp tails shoot into the watching bay

perhaps someone forgot to give you the memo

but you regain your composure as you sneak out while the crowd goes wild with their eyes glued to the monsters

seriously, how could anyone enjoy monsters tearing each other apart?

when you’re in a team personal room, you take down the players easy enough

but you hesitate when you look at the giant creature in the glass container

it sleeps so peacefully, even if its programmed to be controlled, to kill

just plug the poison in and they’ll die just as peacefully, you remind yourself

you get a horrible feeling in your gut though 

all these years you’ve managed to keep your missions almost casualty proof

and the first murder you’ll be doing is of innocent creatures tainted by mankind to kill

but of course, you think again, they’re a threat to other life if freed

you’re about to plug the driver in, when an arm snakes around your waist and twists you to the ground

you groan in pain but retaliate with a kick nonetheless

the figure dodges it by a hair’s width and tries wrapping a hand around your neck

the fight continues and you’ve never felt so drained in your life - this guy really knows hand to hand combat huh,,

you’ve never sparred with someone who moves so fluid, almost feline in how his footsteps never make a sound

you can never predict his next move

it’s difficult to fight him so you settle for restricting his movement as much as possible

you have him pinned for a while, as you demand an answer of him

while most of his face is covered, his eyes are not and you’d find them pretty if they weren’t from a person so dangerous

in all your years of training, you’ve never encountered an enemy this skilled

‘who sent you?’

he doesn’t answer, and an almost satisfied look passes across his features

in a flash, your positions are reversed and he cuffs your wrists with magnetic locks

you groan

this is not how you’re going out

you watch him as he sticks three patches on the container and it makes you wonder

they can’t be,,,,teleportation patches,,,can they

you thought they were just rumors

‘what are you doing?’ you ask, desperate to enough to distract him in any way

he raises an eyebrow and walks slowly towards you with a hard glare

‘putting things back in their place’

‘okay,,, and how’d you sneak in?’

you admit you’re a little curious - he doesn’t look like he’s been using face sculptors or presence erasers

he looks like he got in way easier than you did

‘you’re only the best on earth’ he says with a scoff

‘you know me?’

‘i know everyone who works for earth’s government. your firewalls are primitive’

you crinkle your nose at how casual he looks saying something so condescending

‘do you mind explaining what you’re gonna do with them?’

‘i told you. i’m putting things back in their place.’

‘what you’re gonna put them back in a test tube?’

he stops to look at you for a moment

‘you really don’t know?‘

you shake your head

why does he look at you with so much disdain?

‘a race of thieves pretending they’re pioneers,,,huh‘

‘now you’re just being mean :(’

you’re starting to form an idea of who he is, and it isn’t any less interesting than who he might be

‘how do you think you humans started breeding them?’

‘so you’re telling me,,,they were stolen?’

‘yes, and now they’ve been genetically modified to only fight. it’s sad’

‘sorry to break it to you buddy but human beings kinda suck’

he tilts his head

perhaps that was not the response he expected from your arrogant little race

he continues walking around the glass, analyzing the creature

‘they’re from a less developed planet under our protection. they’re going to die out if we don’t restore the natural order‘

you sit still, curious about the whole situation unfurling

he looks at you one last time, eyes unreadable again

‘i hope you stay out of my way. i’ll take care of the creatures‘

‘let me help you‘

‘i’m sorry?‘

he has an eyebrow raised in disbelief

‘i’ll help you. you wanna get them home, right? i want to help‘

it is a better way to get rid of them - that way you won’t be committing mindless murder

‘well, i need to get them to the labs first to rewire their bio codes, and then get them home‘

‘so you’ll let me help‘

‘i’m not used to,,,a partner‘

‘you wouldn’t tell me all of that unless you wanted me to help‘

you see a ghost of a smile across his features even if his lower face is masked

‘you’re going to wear a freezer bracelet in case you try something funny‘

you groan

‘we literally want the same thing - a little trust would be nice‘

‘you talk like a rookie too much to be a good agent‘

he walks up to you and removes the magnetic cuffs only to put the freezer bracelet on you

you massage your wrists and shoot him a glare

if you’re offering to help him, he could at least be a little nicer

in the next second, he pulls down his mask and extends a hand towards you

you’re almost a little starstruck by his face, honestly

his expression is strictly business when he speaks, a little uncaring even

but there’s a hint of a smile in his voice

‘i think it’d be a win-win situation for us to work together and get all these kaiju home’

time traveller!lucas

you go to the old park early in the morning not because you’re fond of waking up at ungodly hours

but there’s something about the silence of dawn that really helps you focus on your work

of course you do skip some days, it’s normal

but you like to be at the top, ahead of your own anxieties

on the fated day you don’t skip

you certainly weren’t expecting to find a boy hanging upside from a tree branch right in front of your face 

a lot of people don’t know about this place - only old couples and little children and dogs owners come visit

definitely not college kids

and it’s even emptier at this hour

the boy is startled by your presence, which isn’t good for him

because he ends up on the ground in a crumpled mess clutching his arm

the weirdest part is you recognize him from your classes, nanoscience maybe?

you’re sure he’s one of the more popular kids,,,,wong yukhei, is it?

you’ve seen him laugh with a giant group of friends in the hallway before

‘oww,,,,’

that snaps you out of your thoughts and you quickly kneel down beside him

‘are you okay?? did you hurt your arm?? do you need help??’

‘i’ll be fine!!!’ he squeaks when he sees you so close to him and shoots up

but something else catches his attention as he mutters an ‘oh boy’

and takes off in another direction

you look behind you but find nothing and scratch your head trying to figure out what’s up

what a weird boy

and you’re about to take your regular spot on the bench with your laptop

when the boy sudden materializes beside you again nearly giving you a heart attack

‘you’ve gotta come with me’

and suddenly you’re pulled by the arm into a strange darkness

like you’ve fallen into a lake of the murkiest waters, everything there and not there at the same time

but it lasts only a few seconds 

and when you’re able to see again, you’re not in a park

in fact you’re not in any place familiar

and there’s a horse cart coming right at you

you’re about to scream when you’re pulled to the side into an alley, almost tripping over the cobblestones

and you fall back into that murky water

light shines back again when you’re suddenly in a sort of desert

‘is that a fucking dinosaur?’

instead of an answer, you get arms wrapping around you and you’re back into murky waters

you take a breath of life in a dimly lit place

but it’s a different sort of darkness - more like someone turned the lights off instead of something that pulls you in

‘what the fuc-’

‘i’m sorry! i really am! but the situation is,,,,,,really bad’

you glare at him and a sliver of satisfaction crosses you when you see him stumble back at your gaze

‘i’m yukhei hi,,,,,,,and i’m also in your nanoscience class’

‘you know me?’ 

you don’t see his ears turn red in the dim light as he nudges you forward into a more lit area

‘we’re in 3145’

‘what? where’s that?’

‘no- that’s the year’

‘WHAT?!’

yukhei winces at the rise in your voice as you look at him for answers

in all honesty, he looks like a guilty puppy trying to avoid its owner

‘i’m so sorry i had to pull you into this!! but i didn’t have a choice, okay? the agents were after me, and they saw you too! and there was no way letting you be was okay-’

‘yukhei’

‘yes?’

‘tell me about the agents part’

‘oh right i’m supposed to deliver some information to the president of earth in 3145 but the old earth colonies sent them to get it from me’

‘.....okay’

he grins sheepishly 

‘don’t worry, okay?’ he says, eyes round and words firm

‘i just have to get this to the president and report the agents - and it’s finished!’

yukhei walks off in another direction and you follow nimbly behind him

the first sight that comes into view is the giant glass window on your left

there’s no wall - only a view of the city

and you swear you’ve never seen anything grander

it’s night but the lights are so bright it might as well be day at certain parts

there’s no being afraid of the dark here - humanity seems to have built empires to keep out their fears

drawn to the view, you walk closer to the glass and peer down

‘i can’t see the ground!’ you exclaim

yukhei turns around to look at you for a few seconds confused before coming to stand by your side

‘yeah! we’re like on of the tallest buildings ever built in human history! and this isn’t even the top floor’

your jaw drops as you look around at the rings you assume are roads with the vehicles moving on them

they have a sort of grace as they glide by at an incredible speed

there are rings after every few storeys and the bright lights nearly blind you when you try to look directly at them

the buildings themselves are of varying shapes, but they’re mostly black with lined windows emitting differently colored lights

you can see a tower in the distance, stretching out into skies you’ve never seen before, lights sorting out the texture of the clouds

you never thought nighttime could be so wonderfully lit

you turn your head to find yukhei grinning at you

‘i was totally dazed too the first time’

you find yourself smiling as yukhei points out certain things in the distance he finds cool

he’s so enthusiastic about all the places you feel yourself drawing closer, curious with certain questions

‘yukhei’ you ask suddenly ‘where are you from?’

‘the same as you! i was born in 1999, and i’m a university student- i mean, you know that,,,,,,,because we share a class together,,,’

he looks outside the glass

‘i don’t know why i took up this,,,,,,,,,,time traveling messenger job,,,,,honestly,,,,,,but it’s more fun when i’m not alone’

his shoulders sag but he straightens in a moment, like he refuses to be discouraged

‘anyway i gotta do this quick i’ll be back’

and you watch him run towards the end of the long corridor after shooting you a grin 

the hallway is tremendously large and he disappears into the dark soon despite the bright lights from the windows 

now that you think about it, it’s quite difficult to make out the ceiling - the corridors seem to be made for giants

you look back out the glass, wonder filling your senses again

you hope yukhei succeeds in his task quickly

would he ever mind giving you a tour of this place?

or just walk around with you here

it’s like every video game illustrator’s dream come true, this place

but yukhei comes back distressed after only a few minutes

‘i need a plan b’

turns out he forgot about the dinner party tonight - and there’s hundreds of thousands of guests beyond that door at the end of the corridor

there is no way to meet the president without greeting a horde of people

‘yukhei no’

‘i promise i’ll pay you back! anything you want!’

‘i am not sneaking into the president’s chamber while you distract the guests’

but you sigh and give in when you’re met with puppy eyes and pouty lips

where the hell did he learn that?

‘okay my face should be enough to distract people but just in case’

you roll your eyes as yukhei procures a black coat with gold embroidery and changes into dress shoes

he tries to comb aside his bangs as best as he can with his fingers but the strands make their way onto his face anyway

he then taps a button on his watch and his hoodie and jeans change into a dress shirt and formal pants in a blink

‘okay can’t believe that came in handy’ yukhei whistles at his garments

you, on the other hand, aren’t as calm

the president? of the entire earth? in the year 3145?

you can’t even dream up something this wild

and as yukhei drags you towards the door while you’re chewing on your nails

you pray nothing goes wrong in this plan

as you hide behind a large silver chair, you’re amazed at how good yukhei actually is at distracting

you can’t decipher the garbled nonsense that’s coming out of his mouth - you think it must be a different language, an alien language maybe or a new earth language

the guests look at him enamored and gleeful and with laughter

and you think he must have that effect on everyone he meets

well he certainly is charming, although in a weird way

with one last look at him and the crowd around, you sneak from table to table

till you reach the door at the corner 

you wouldn’t even have noticed it with the way it’s so well hidden - only at a certain angle can you make out the outline of the door, which is oddly circular

who knows maybe circles are back in fashion in the 32nd century

you push the door at one side 

and walk right into the presidential chamber

honestly, you expected a lock at least

it’s not as intimidating as you thought it’d be - in fact it looks like a normal office

well except for the techy stuff you can’t quite figure out

the lighting is soft blue and the mild smell of fresh flowers wafts through

it’s almost like a normal present day office

just keep it on the desk and go back just like yukhei said

you do just that and go back to the entrance

except the door is locked on the other side

you tug at it - it’s supposed to be rotating door, sort of like a spinning coin

but it’s wedged on tight

you slide onto the floor and hug your knees as you weigh the situation

what happens when the president finds you in her chamber? or worse, her security personnel

the president is a just but kind lady, yukhei had said to reassure you

but will you be prosecuted for trespassing? do laws even apply to you when you’re not from this era?

you swear you’ll have a mental breakdown right there

when yukhei walks in with trouble written all over his face

‘okay so,,,,another change of plan?’

there’s loud knocking at the door as yukhei scrambles around to seal it

‘okay the guards figured out i’m not the prince from some planet and we can’t go out now’

the terror on your face is obvious

‘well? what do we do?’

‘....wait for the president? she knows i’m supposed to be here’

you sigh into your hands

this is taking far too long and in a place far too closed for your liking

you find yourself having difficulty breathing

but when yukhei notices, he starts talking to you in halting words and laughter - his stories of where and when he’s been and all the dumb situations he got himself into

and even though the lilt in his voice gets loud

it helps you calm down

and you end up resting against his shoulder

you don’t know how you fell asleep but yukhei shakes you awake by the shoulder

‘the president’s here!’ he notifies

and you immediately jump up to stand straight

and when yukhei relates the events to the president in fumbling words,

you notice how dignified she is, especially with the stark contrast against yukhei’s awkward form in front of her

you almost giggle as he flusters over incorrect word usage

and your bumpy journey is over as soon as yukhei passes a small device to the president

‘good work’ she says with a smile and you’re escorted to a new room in a flurry

‘a gift’ one of the guards hands yukhei a small device

‘oh man! the latest one? this looks so cool!’

the bright smile on his face radiates excitement

your heart freezes when yukhei walks over to you, his smile still stretched across his face

‘let’s go home’ he says 

you take his hand and smile back

and the murky waters aren’t as suffocating this time

you’re by the park bench again like you haven’t been gone for a few hours

there’s an awkward air between you and yukhei as you try to part with a goodbye

and you’re about to sit alone on your bench again

when yukhei turns around to jog back beside you

‘hey,,,,uh,,, do you wanna hang out in 3145? i know some really good cafes and gaming joints,,,’

you break into a livened up smile

‘i’d love to’

therapist!xiaojun

but like,,,,a therapist for cyborgs,,,,

he mainly works with newly made cyborgs and helps them get used to their new body parts in one way or another

you’re actually one of the first long term patients he gets

and you’re,,,,well,,,,a special case

on one hand, you’re technically still human

but your brain has been replaced with processors to help your body function

the only patients he’s ever helped are ones with more outer cyber body parts like arms and legs and eyes

they think the same way, and it’s just adjusting to related physical activities that they need help for

he’s a little scared to admit that he might not know what to do, how to distract you from associated difficulties, how to help you completely adjust

but he’s going to give you his best shot anyway

all you know is that a car accident left you with irreparable brain damage 

and this was the only way to save you

you know who you are because that information has been fed to you

you know who you are but you just don’t think the same

in a way, you’ve gone back to thinking like a child because of the reset

learning things little by little 

but it wasn’t good enough for you to get back to where you were

it’s like you understood things but stopped feeling them

a sort of hollow shell for a computerized mind

and of course, you were having trouble getting used to processing things at an abnormal speed

the amount of information in your environment sometimes gave you a nasty headache

so your family had to call in a specialized therapist 

xiaojun is kind when he first meets you

he’s a little awkward in movement but he still smiles at you

and he’s genuine in the way he speaks

even you can tell him apart with your limited intuition

but you don’t talk to him - can’t talk to him even then

maybe you’re still afraid (with whatever remnants of fear left with you)

that the more you adjust to this, the more robotic you’ll feel

so the first three sessions you keep your mouth shut

but xiaojun doesn’t get exasperated with you, or groan or click his tongue

the simplicity of the room saves you a headache - the reality simulator of the room probably adjusts to the patient’s comfort

but honestly you wish you got one to get out of there

xiaojun is still kind, you think

he smiles when he asks you if you want to hear a song

you nod - whatever harm could a song do?

maybe it’s how he helps the other patients distract themselves from their sudden changes

and so he brings the guitar from the corner of the room

and plays you a song

it’s a sweet song at that, about gardenias and love

you want to hear it again, but you don’t want to speak

what if the voice that comes out is not your own?

so you settle for smiling at him and quietly appreciating the soft strumming of guitar

and at the end you thank him and leave

but on the fourth day, when he asks you a question you answer it

‘what’s your favorite fairy tale?’

‘it’s peter pan’ you answer without thinking

it wasn’t your favorite before the accident, but you’ve come to love it now

reading it over and over again, you’re sure the words are saved perfectly in your memory

especially when you have a computer for a brain

what would it be like to become a lost boy? 

run away to a place where you felt freedom?

it’s one of the nicer thoughts you have, really

and to your surprise

you find yourself talking to him easily and freely

maybe it’s his warmth, maybe it’s how he smiles

maybe you just like being in his presence

even if he’s just a therapist for people who aren’t quite human anymore

and you feel happy

you didn’t think your new brain would give you the chance to feel that

in fact, you’re feeling things so much that you start to dread the end of the therapy sessions

you tell xiaojun what you feel after a lot of internal debating

‘í’m not stupid i just can’t think the same way anymore’

xiaojun looks up at you

‘i know that. that’s why you’re here‘

‘no, you don’t get it - i used to be someone who worked a lot, right? but i don’t wanna do that anymore! i want to be more free, and you know, do less’

xiaojun has his full focus on you like every day

but something feels different

‘that’s perfect then. you’ve identified your problem,,,and well, there’s nothing wrong if you want to sit back and rest‘

‘but- but my family needs me to work!’

‘you know they don’t. you’re being unreasonably harsh on yourself‘

‘because i’m not the same anymore!‘

xiaojun leans forward at the rise in your voice

‘everyone who walks in here have changed in some way or another. everyone who hasn’t come in here are also the same. people change. that’s what they do, right?‘

you stay quiet for a few moments and see a flicker of worry across xiaojun’s face

‘but i’m not a person anymore, right?’

he frowns 

‘well you think and you feel. i think that’s enough to feel like a person’

‘i’m afraid i’ll stop feeling with this- this robot brain i have‘

xiaojun smiles again

‘but you’ve been feeling the past few weeks? and you’re feeling afraid now?’

you nod

‘then you’ve already proved your brain lets you feel’

he’s right, of course, you try to reason with yourself 

‘but what if i just stop feeling again?’

‘then you’ll start feeling again too’

you start to think again

you’re still feeling now 

fear is still the primitive feeling in your headspace

and maybe that’s what’s holding the humanity in you

you sigh and sit back

‘maybe if you try to let go of fear, you’ll have space for other feelings too’ xiaojun says with a smile ‘but that’s advice for everyone’

he checks the time on his watch and breathes out, signalling the session is over

but before you can leave, he comes and sits beside you

‘i know i’m your therapist, but can i speak to you as a friend for a moment?’

you’re a little taken aback but nod a yes nevertheless

‘when i was a kid, i had an accident too‘

you’re curious at the sudden words

‘and i had to get parts of my brain replaced‘

you look at him as he plays with his fingers

‘i decided to help people in an unbiased way, get them back on their feet‘

‘i didn’t feel for a very long time honestly. in fact, not until i met you. i felt understood after so long - and i wanted to thank you for it‘

‘since the sessions are ending, i just wanted you to know’

you feel a little embarrassed when xiaojun rubs his neck and awkwardly smiles at you

‘so if we’re friends, does that mean i can talk with you anytime?’ you ask with a shy smile

xiaojun smiles, warmth ever present

‘anytime‘

android!hendery

the moment the delivery bot dumps a fully functional android at your place, you know something’s wrong

‘i haven’t ordered this...gosh, i don’t even have the money!’

‘don’t worry. it’s already paid for.’

you knit your eyebrows together as you scan your finger over the delivery bot’s tablet and look at the giant box now in your living room

you walk around it, scrutinizing it when a note catches your eye

thought you might be bored of living alone, so here’s a cutie - xoxo, 10

what the fuck

ten really has nothing better to do huh

you immediately call him and his holographic image shows up on your living room in that damn posh suit

‘ten just what is this?’

‘huh?’

the look of feigned ignorance on his face pisses you off even more as you adjust your camera to focus on the box

‘that!’

‘oh it’s an android!! the latest from our labs’

‘and why is it here?’

‘it’s an early birthday present, darling’

you groan as a smirk makes its way onto his face

‘i mean he might be having the feature too but i’d have sent a sex droid if that’s wh-’

‘ten i will personally march into your office and slaughter you with every weapon possible if you continue talking’

he laughs at your repulsed expression for a good few seconds before standing up straight to face you

‘who’s gonna run the company if i die? besides, i personally helped with instructing for this one. i’m sure you’ll like him’

you sit on your couch and sigh

you definitely won’t if ten designed it

your best friend might be the ceo of a leading tech company but he’s still so annoyingly childish

‘well activate him! actually wait you know what i’ll do it myself cause you’re a prick’

‘ten no-’

there’s a sudden whir from the giant box sounding dreadfully like the booting up of a system and you stand up alarmed

‘oh wow it’s darker than i thought it would be oh boy.....and way more bubble wrap’

you freeze at the unknown voice

‘have fun, darling!’ ten says and disconnects after blowing a kiss at you

you groan and hesitantly make your way to the box which is surprisingly stagnant considering there’s a whole robot inside

your shaking hand presses the unpack button and inside stands a rather confused figure in standard android black, but it’s a hoodie and jeans instead of formal attire

with stretched and destroyed bubble wrap by his feet

but when he steps forward to greet you with a bright ‘hello!’ you swear it’s the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen

you’re at a loss for words for a few seconds

before you remember you really don’t want anyone else running around your place

‘hi uh,,,,’

you read the tag on his hoodie

‘hendery. hi. uh. i don’t know how to say this but,,,,is there any chance you could be returned? like you could be with ten maybe?’

his smile drops to a sad frown

‘you don’t want me?’

‘no. i mean yes! no wait! it’s not like that i just don’t- i don’t know- i’ve never had an android before. yes, that’s it!’

you grimace internally at your own words

he’s just an android - he’s not a real person! why are you getting so nervous?

maybe it’s the look of a kicked puppy that’s all across his face right now

you sigh and decide far too hastily that you’ll keep him for a month 

but you’ll talk to ten as soon as possible

‘um,,,,so like,,,,what do you do?’

‘you have to calibrate me with your bio readings!’ he says with a regained smile

‘uh what’

hendery raises an arm out and looks at you expectantly

‘give me your hand. only if you want. since i’m your personal android, i have to do this, you see?’

you look at him quizzically but give him your hand nonetheless

he clasps it with both his hands and goes still for a few seconds

you’re about to freak out when he moves again, the same polite smile on his face

‘my sensors are pretty accurate, but i think a saliva sample would’ve been more helpful for analyzing your dna’

‘i’m sorry? what?’

he presses his index finger against his lips to think (or pretend to think? do androids think like that?)

‘your permission for a kiss will get me the sample?’

you swear the smile on his face turns devilish as he winks

you step back with a glower trying to sputter out a response while he breaks into laughter

did ten include flirting in hendery’s code?

oh you are so going to kill him

‘that was a joke!’

you scramble back to your room with one last glare at hendery when he starts following you

‘did i say something wrong?’ he asks, the innocence on his face surely fake

it’s weird how your days adjust to hendery’s presence in them

he’s helpful, yes, but he’s also programmed with an annoying sense of humor

no, his jokes are not funny, you convince yourself every time you find yourself almost grinning

he’ll do what you ask him to do if you ask nicely

and he’s a little protective perhaps 

he never lets you go out without the companion band, which transmits location and biological data to him

it makes you feel safer in your neighborhood if you’re being honest

but of course, all of that is in his code

he could be modeled after ten for all you know with the way he gets on your nerves

but something about him is not like other androids - he’s a companionship android but you’ve never seen one so human

it’s unnerving to think he’s not human

only sometimes is he a little snarky with you

because apparently he’s programmed with common nineteen year old adult behaviors

and all that’s well and good but

the thing with hendery is that

he never

stops

talking

anything and everything - he just shoots off at the mouth

here you were thinking androids were made to be emotionless and fully catered to their user

but it’s his experiences hendery loves to talk about

what he feels when he sees things for the first time

and maybe it’s because you’ve been so used to living alone 

that the lively talk gets too much sometimes

‘hendery! just,,,,please stop,,,talking’

you massage your forehead trying to figure out the answers to the latest problems your professor just posted

when you turn to look at him, he’s staring at you with big doe eyes and you’re already starting to feel bad

‘i’m just,,,,not used to another person being here’ you explain

‘oh but i’m not a person!’

you frown at the nonchalant expression on his face

right. he’s right

not a person

but it doesn’t sit well with you as you get up to sit beside hendery

he’s not a person maybe, but he’s treated you nicer than anyone you know

‘i’m sorry. for snapping at you. and not welcoming you here.’

‘that’s okay. i’m an andr-’

‘no, no that’s not reason enough. i know it’s your code and i should thank ten, but thank you for being here with me.’

hendery smiles, and you wonder who put the twinkling lights in his eyes

‘i didn’t think i’d ever be treated as a person’ he says 

‘even if i’m intelligent enough to learn and feel’

you smile at him, it’s all you can do to reassure him

‘thank you’ he mumbles as he wraps his arms around you, a warm scent engulfing you

when he pulls away, his bright grin falls to a sudden frown

‘your data said you like warm hugs!! why are you so red and panicked?’ he asks, worried

your heart beats faster at his words and you scowl

gods he’s stupid for the latest AI

he presses all his fingers against your cheeks and furrows his eyebrows

‘your surface temperature isn’t right!’

he presses two fingers against your neck

‘neither is your pulse! i need to do a scan- oh’

his face breaks into a cheeky grin

‘don’t say it’ you glare

‘i wonder why you’re flustered,,,,,hmm’

‘hendery i will ship you back to ten’

he pouts and you throw your head back and laugh

you’ll be keeping hendery around for longer than a month after all

alien!yangyang

when you see the building suddenly collapsing a few blocks ahead of you, you think ‘shit this is it this is how i die fuck fuck fuck-’

you certainly did not expect to wake up in a weird room lit by dim blue lights, or even wake up at all

and the first thing you see is a boy at the corner, hugging his knees and dozing off against the leg of the bunk bed

you sit up on the bed, your head still feeling fuzzy and dangerously close to shutting down altogether

you steady yourself, and try taking in your surroundings

the walls are probably white, but they appear blue under the lights - in fact pretty much everything in the room is white that way

however, one of the walls seems to be a giant mirror, and you stare back at a very dazed version of you

even your clothes are white, you look unhealthily pale, a little skinnier and your hair is a mess

‘how long have i been here?’ you think

you absentmindedly get off the bed to walk towards the mirror, and that wakes up the boy with a start

he looks surprised for a moment to see you there, but it quickly turns into excitement as he rushes towards you

you register light brown hair and warm eyes, and a giant smile

but barely because your brain is still mush

‘omg are you real wait a minute are you really human??’

you’re suddenly bombarded with a lot of questions your weakened state can’t answer

and you find yourself getting a headache, to which he appears really confused

‘if i had my watch right now, i’d know what’s wrong with you ://’

‘i,,,,ow,,,,my head hurts,,,,,,stop talking’

‘oh,,,,’

you gaze incredulously at the boy - has he never heard of a headache before?

‘aren’t headaches eradicated yet on earth?’ 

he looks so genuinely curious that the mystery of everything around you just worsens your headache

you just continue staring with a ‘huh??’

he suddenly looks startled before looking back at you

‘i’m so sorry for my manners!! my name is yangyang. what’s yours?’

you look blank trying to register his words but manage to respond with your name

‘you don’t look too good,,,,,’

you almost snap with a ‘yeah no shit genius’ when the giant mirrors part and two people walk in wearing thick black suits and a black helmet 

you can’t see their faces and they carry a weird looking item that remotely resembles a gun

but the moment the doors open, your headache suddenly resides and you take in a large gulp of air

‘step forward’ one the guards demand, pointing the gun-like device towards you

you jump up in panic, and take a step forward when yangyang grabs your arm

‘they’re not going anywhere till you answer us’ he says, pursing his lips

‘we are not obligated to answer you.’

yangyang frowns but continues nonetheless ‘well,,,,’

he suddenly wraps an arm around your neck and bends it at an uncomfortable angle while pinning your struggling arms together with his other hand

‘you better take me to the commander of this ship unless you want their neck snapped in half’

the guards take a step towards you but increased pressure on your neck causes them to stop

they hesitate before agreeing and yangyang holds you close to him as you both follow one of the guards while the other stays behind you

you take a few turns like this before yangyang lets go of you subtly and kicks the guard behind in the chest and grabs their gun while they’re still in shock

when the front one turns to react, yangyang shoots without thinking and a beam appears knocking them unconscious

‘this does that?’ yangyang scratches his head before dropping the gun

you stare at him frozen but stumble backwards when he walks towards you

‘where are you going?? i’m not gonna hurt you!’ he defends

‘oh yeah? it didn’t look that way when you were ready to choke me to death!!’

‘that was just to get out! you’re obviously important for them to not have killed you and chucked you in with me’

‘and who are you?’

‘uhhh’

yangyang looks away at the doors sliding open at the other end and a look of panic temporarily crosses his face before he looks back at you with pleading eyes

‘please come with me. we don’t have much time’ he rushes

you look confused and worried at the same time, running over the options you have and their possible outcomes

‘it’s either me or them’ he points towards the guards who have a slightly modified version of the previous guns you saw

and in a split second

you choose yangyang

you don’t remember exactly what happens next - there’s a lot of running involved and the rush of adrenaline, and a lot of dodging deadly laser beams aimed at you

and by the end, you’re sitting in a rather small spacepod with yangyang frantically analyzing the buttons before the pod finally takes off with some clicks and whirs 

yangyang sighs in relief when the thing accelerates, almost grinning like an idiot when your surroundings change to a blur

you look at him quizzically and he shrugs - ‘what? i like the speed’

and when it finally slows down, you’re in some remote corner of the universe with a complete stranger, and not sure if you’ll ever get home

‘uh,,,yangyang,,,do you wanna explain everything now?’

yangyang hesitates at first but begins anyway

and you’re dizzy with the sudden influx of all the new information but it also excites you

‘,,,so you’re the prince,,,,,,of a whole planet,,,’ you repeat

yangyang nods, suddenly a little shy

times are hard for your neighboring galaxy, he tells you, after one of the more military advanced planets declared war on the others in an attempt to conquer the entire galaxy

and if they wanted to move onto earth too, it’s major trouble

the ship you both were on was just a spy ship, which means they’re just exploring earth and not setting conquest on it just yet

and you were probably a main test subject

however, he says he has full faith in the alliance between the three ruling planets of his galaxy and hopefully, this war will be the last

yangyang, in the meantime, was supposed to not get kidnapped but,,,,well,,,,,that happened

and now he’s not sure it’s safe to go back to his planet

you stay quiet for a bit before an idea strikes you

‘wanna visit earth?’ you ask

yangyang’s eyes light up as he turns to you

‘really? you’ll show me around?’

‘well, i can’t promise every place,,,but definitely around my city,,,’

and yangyang smiles the brightest of smiles at you, before turning to the controls and punching in earth’s coordinates

you grin back at him, dizzy with a sense of adventure

[sebinvld]

a playlist consisting of  7  tracks that detail sebin’s current outlook on life.

track 001:  tiger’s jaw, window.

“and it’s all in my head, the walls move in unnatural ways. found myself in a darker place; afraid of change, but more afraid to stay the same. and these days it’s hard not to feel alone, there is a dull glow coming through your window.”

with debut so close around the corner, sebin’s nights that are already spent quite restless have been even worse. he’s never wanted to debut and he still doesn’t want it anymore than he did years ago, and honestly, he’s scared. terrified, even, of what debut might mean and the changes that it will bring. then again, he doesn’t know which would be worse  —  staying in place or advancing in an undesirable direction. he feels very lost right now, much like he’s at a crossroads and despite his map telling him which is the right way to go, he’s completely ignoring it and stepping into the unknown.

track 002:  with confidence, keeper.

“i didn’t wanna drag them down, i couldn’t really work it out and even though it all went south, i still can’t figure it out. and i dive so deep into my brain, i can’t sleep; i think i’m losing all my friends, you know the devil plays for keeps.”

coming back from a mean streak is far from easy, but lately, sebin’s been thinking that maybe it’s something that he wants to do. he doesn’t exactly like being the mean guy anymore, doesn’t like knowing that there are people who fear him. but even when he tries to be nice, most people are used to only seeing his bad side and as a result, expect him to lash out at any given moment. it’s awkward and uncomfortable. he doesn’t know what he needs to do to make things better for himself and the people around him.

track 003:  grayscale, old friends.

“no one knows the pain like you did, wish we could talk it out like old friends.”

sebin will swear up and down that he doesn’t need his brother, and depending on how bad of a mood he’s in, he’ll even claim to hate him. but the truth is that sebin still loves his brother just as much as he did when they were kids; it’s just been hard for him to overcome the jealousy that comes with being the second favorite. lately, he’s been wanting more than ever to call seyeon and talk things out. god knows he could use someone to talk to, and before he cut him off, seyeon would always listen and he would always care. the only reason sebin hasn’t repaired the bridge he burnt so long ago is because of pride and fear:  to come back after spending so long away feels a lot like losing some kind of petty war, and he doesn’t want to run the risk of seyeon not caring like he used to.

track 004:  brand new, jesus christ.

“do you believe you’re missing out? that everything good is happening somewhere else? and with nobody in your bed, the night’s hard to get through.”

for the low price of sebin’s pride, come join him at his latest pity party! he really shouldn’t be, considering the fact that he lives with seven other people, but sebin’s incredibly lonely. especially lately, since he feels like his life is spiraling completely out of his control and he doesn’t really think anyone around him will be able to understand it. he doesn’t think that life is inherently shitty, but he does believe that he’s made too many wrong turns and bad decisions and the chances of him finding happiness with his life are quite low. he spends a lot of his free time comparing his life to old friends; on the surface, it seems like he won. he’s the celebrity. but on a deeper level, he knows he’s missing out on all the smaller things that he really wants in life. 

track 005:  broadside, the setting sun.

“it’s getting cold outside but i haven’t felt a thing this whole damn year. i lay in bed and pray the night takes me far away from here.”

sebin has always had a complicated relationship with sleep  —  he’s naturally an early riser, but once he became a trainee, it became more difficult for him to sleep at night. the already short hours never seemed long enough and even when he tried his hardest, he found himself spending half the nights awake, restless. he adjusted to never sleeping much and found ways to feel energized regardless, but after debuting, he’s found that all he really wants to do is sleep. it’s the only time that he feels comfortable, really. so he’s ditched his early morning runs in favor of an extra hour of sleep and even then, it’s difficult for him to wake up. he tries to sleep any chance he gets, whether it’s in vehicles on the way to schedules or during breaks in the practice room.

track 006:  broadside, overdramatic.

“well, if it hurts so bad, can you tell me this? why did you choose to break what you couldn’t fix? baby, you’re caught up in your ways, some things never change.”

sebin’s only true talent is feeling sorry for himself & he’s been doing a whole lot of that lately. the recent trip to jeju followed by kostion’s debut has opened sebin’s eyes wider than ever before to just how alone he really is. sure, he has friends, but most of them were pushed towards him by circumstance. not by choice. truth be told, it hurts him to know how many things he’s ruined that could’ve been amazing, had he not chosen hate. even with this self-awareness, though, he’s stuck in his ways and it’s unlikely that he’ll have any kind of redeeming moment. he’ll keep hurting people and hurting himself in the process and he’ll keep pretending that he’s the victim. that’s just the way it goes.

track 007:  neck deep, little dove.

“i’ll be hiding from the world and all that it expects of me and i’ll be diving down a depth into this old quarry and lately i’ve been pretty down, i don’t know why, i don’t know why.”

 instead of the defining anger, sebin’s been feeling pretty sad lately. for many reasons, but it mostly comes down to how unwelcome he feels in his own skin and how out of place he feels in the entertainment industry. he knows that idols work hard and he’s grown to respect them a little more than he did in the beginning, but it still isn’t for him  — the fake smiles, the perfect makeup, the suffocating optimism. he’s aware of the expectations placed upon an idol and he knows that he can’t meet those expectations. he feels much like an imposter, getting by on pure luck until someone realizes he doesn’t belong. and even if he doesn’t want this, he still doesn’t want to feel like such an outsider, either. it really gets him down.

[razorblade180]

Scrappy

[Lasting Embers universe]

Deep in the forest of of Menagerie an obstacle course as been set up for a group of individuals; all of them in black cammo pants and form fitting black t-shirts. Men and women crawling under wire, balance beams sprints, monkey bars, and worst of all a rope. This extended 75ft in the air with a bell that few can reach; including a sixteen year old white tiger faunus that was currently covered in mud.

Ilia:Come on rookie!!!!! You’re not even half way up there yet and I can tell you’re drenched and about to pass out. If you can’t do this then I don’t even know why you bothered showing up to boot camp!!!

Sienna:*inching up* Come on Sienna, you got this. So what if you’re tired? Doesn’t change the distance or the goal, just....keep....climbing.

Various recruits scream various things that are both positive and negative as instructed. Others toss small mud balls to add to the difficulty.

���You can do it!”

“Just fall already!!!!”

“Give it up runt! You’re the smallest here.”

“Show him what you’re made of!”

“Miner kid....”

That one caught her attention. She looked to her right to see a smug recruit on the ground staring at her with his red eyes. He was a stocky and in his early twenties. Brown hair and a scar across his face were all that really made him look interesting. Sienna would’ve gave him another one if she was allowed to.

Sienna:Of course Damon is trying to shoot me down. *climbs harder*

Damon:Aww don’t ignore me. Did I say something rude miner? That word should mean nothing to you right. *chucks mud ball*

Sienna:*blocks it* Fuck off......

Ilia:Language! You all might be thugs and mercenaries at heart but that doesn’t mean you get to act like it. Being apart of The Shadows means-

Recruits:Using ruthless lifestyle skills to uphold the honest living of others.

Ilia:I will give you all 50 more laps if you do that again.

Damon:That little mission statement is fine and all but does that even apply to kitty over here? Last time I checked this organization is supposed to have the most lethal people around and here we have a kid that doesn’t even a semblance. Can’t even smoke.

Sienna:Considering how my scores are better than yours, me not having a semblance should make you feel happy; it give you a chance to keep up with me. If breathing is still possible for you; might wanna quit while you can Mr. Mercenary.

Damon:*grits teeth*

Ilia:If you can talk then you can climb! Hurry up before I start chucking mud at you myself.

She did as she was told and picked up the pace as best as she could. Her arms felt like fire and the mud drying on her wasn’t helping. By the half way point things were slightly better; dodging mud was easier when none could travel that high up. Until one actually did make that far and landed right on her face; smacking her off the rope like if a baseball hit her.

Recruits:*catch her* Are you okay?

Sienna:Ow....what was up with the mu- *picks it up*

It’s as dense as a literal baseball and perfectly round for a moment before falling apart like normal mud. Her icy blue dart towards Damon as he tries not laugh; the recruits back up as they notice her pupils slowly get more cat like as they hear a low growl.

Damon:What’s wrong kitty cat? You seem a bit a bit ruffled. I’m just trying to bring out the best in you; a person with no semblance should work twice as hard to even get close enough to the same skill as someone who does. Think of it as real life experience.

Sienna:*gets up* The nurses will get real life experience stitching you up when I wrip out your-

Ilia:Enough! Both of you.

Sienna:Me!? But he’s the one who-

Ilia:Sienna, just walk away. I will handle this myself now go hit the showers.

Sienna:......*walks away frustrated*

Damon:That’s it? I expected more from you. I guess being oppressed and underground for so long made you used to being beneath others. Anyone else here would at least try putting me in my place. You however, I guess your just a runt after all. Bet your family pulled your weight in the mines.....

Sienna’s footsteps immediately stopped and pivoted around. Before Ilia could even register what was about to happen it was too late. The young Shadow in training was already passed her and swiping at the older man with close out and dangerously sharp. Each attack filled with rage as they failed to connect with her target that was reading her like a play book with ease. If she was thinking then it would’ve been clear a match with a seasoned mercenary wasn’t going to be some walk in the part. A quick jab to her nose and a foot ramming into her ribs made the message clear with obvious pain now shooting through her. His boots felt like straight steel.

Damon:Oh so you do have fighting spirit? Or at least try to that is....

Sienna:I’LL SHOW YOU FIGHTING SPIRIT!!!! *leaps at him*

Damon:*catches and throws her* Geez you’re like a rag doll. Light and totally flimsy. *puts boot on her* I’ll admit you have guts but that’s about all you-gah!!!!

Sienna:*clawing his leg* Do you ever shut up? Your voice is hurting my ears.

She manages to get her right leg in between both of his and wrap it around the punks leg from behind; her left leg does the same but wraps around the front of it like a vice. All of her wait is focused on driving her legs to the ground, causing the man to fall and put into a leg lock. Bone and muscle can be heard through the painful grunts from both fighters.

Sienna:I’ll break it, I swear I will.

Damon:*smiles* I believe you....

Suddenly the ground below them gets harder as he raises his pinned leg and slams it against the ground. Sienna’s head smacks the floor hard, everything gets blurry. Then everything got dark.....

[Oasis]

Jacquelyn:*watering flowers* hmmm hmm🎶

Jael:*running*Moooooom!

Jacquelyn:Hey there sweetheart *picks her up* why are you running? You know it’s dangerous for you.

Jael:Mom, I’m ten years old. I know my limits *pouts*

Jacquelyn:I know you’re upset right now but your pudgy cheeks are too adorable to take you seriously. *hugging her*

Jael:Agh, you’re squeezing too tight! I was running because you have a call!!!! *holds up scroll.* stop leaving your scroll around.

Jacquelyn:I got a call? That’s rare *answers* Hello, Jackie Frost speaking. Oh hi Ilia!!! How is training the-.....

Jael:???

Jacquelyn:SHE’S WHAT!?

[Infirmary]

Boot camp was a lot of things, unprepared wasn’t one of them. You don’t get together some of the most aggressive people the world has to offer without proper medical care. Breaking without consequences is another thing that isn’t tolerated as Sienna is learning. Only moments ago did she wake up to find herself with bandages around her head and in a hospital bed; also her left arm handcuffed to it. Everyone was about to be treated to a loud scream from the girl who wanted answers but thankfully Ilia walked in before Sienna got the chance.

Ilia:Well look who’s finally awake? The troublemaker herself.

Sienna:ME!? I- ow...*holds her head*

Ilia:Woah there...*leans her back* Try not to scream or move around idiot. Concussions don’t like those things.

Sienna:N...noted, damn that Damon. Slamming me into mud wasn’t good enough; he had to make it hard as stone. I wouldn’t be surprised if the fall off the rope caused this either.

Ilia:I hear you blaming Damon but yet not yourself. This could’ve been avoided if you walked away. He was already gonna be punished but you had to escalate the situation didn’t you?

Sienna:But-

Ilia:No buts Sienna!

Sienna:.......

Ilia:In a mission you are expected to follow orders to the letter without hesitation. No matter what he said about you, disobeying me was the wrong call. Again and again your temper clouds your judgement; can you guess how many times I’ve seen you get into a fight.

Sienna:.......are we counting my whole life or just boot camp?

Ilia:Sigh......I think I should opt you out of Shadow training.

Her blood went cold at those words. If it wasn’t for the concussion, Sienna would’ve been shaking her head in denial and protest.

Sienna:You....you can’t do that. I’ve passed all tests, making the grades, honing my skills, I-

Ilia:You are young and hot headed. Not to mention filled with so much potential to do anything with your life. Damon is right about you not being like everyone else. Yes you’ve seen the worst of what this world has to offer since you were six but only as a victim. These people are used to being the thieves, spies, and murderers. Hands like yours shouldn’t be tainted like that. Especially when your family-

Sienna:Foster family...... I love them but that title is very important to me; it separates the past from the present. Also, are you forgetting I already have one person’s blood on my hands? *stares at them*

Ilia:That was self defense.

Sienna:Don’t care, they’re dead and I have to live with it. Those mines.....those stupid isolation rooms and “treatment’ programs. *clenches teeth* No way I could just go live some ordinary life after that. I’m only alive because clung to it and killed the part of me that could’ve lived normally. Guess in that phrasing then it means I killed two people that day. If I become a Shadow then I can stop horrible people from causing pain before they get the chance. I can stop more people like me from being shaped by such trauma. So please.... *tears up* don’t take me out the program. It’s my dream.

Ilia:.....I-

“Let her stay”

Both of them look towards the door to see Adam standing there with his arms crossed and learning against the door frame. Instantly Sienna’s ears and head drop down in guilt; upset with herself for causing such a mess that the leader of the whole organization swooped by.

Ilia:Shouldn’t you be laying low and doing paperwork?

Adam:Everyone here is sworn to secrecy and it’s not like those papers are going anywhere. *walks forward* Sienna......

Sienna:*Looking away* Yes sir......?

Adam:What’s with the formalities? It’s just us in here. Let’s try this again *slowly turns her head* Sienna.....

Sienna:.....Yeah dad?

Adam:It’s starting to feel like we see each other during lectures than at dinner.

Sienna:Maybe because you’re not home half the time....

Adam:Fair point, but you get what I’m saying right? Take it from me, short tempers get you into nothing but trouble that could’ve avoided entirely.

Sienna:It’s just....all the things he kept saying I....I can’t stand being weak. I’m the youngest there, no semblance, and completely wet behind the ears like he said. Still, I hate how he looked down on me. I know my grades should speak for themselves but they don’t.

Adam:I see, respect is what you wanted. Validation of all the effort you’ve put in. Tell me, is something like that really worth it from someone like him? Not only is he also a recruit but his scores are lower than yours despite his advantages. Do you know why?

Sienna:I want it more than he does.

Adam:Precisely, in this world you got so far by having a hunger to keep going like no one else; it was press on or lay dead on the bloody floor. Not many can do what you did at such a young age. As far as I’m concerned he’s right about not being like the rest; you’re better.

Sienna:*red*.......

Adam:Not to mention you got a pretty big heart that genuinely wants to help the best way it knows how. As a parent the path you’ve chosen scares me, but as your future boss I hope when I’m long gone that someone like you can continue keeping things on the straight and narrow. Before all that though you still need to graduate. How will you do that?

Sienna:*takes a breath* Following orders.....and learning to keep calm like Ilia says. I’m sorry dad.

Adam:I’m not the one who needs an apology.

Sienna:Ilia, I’m sorry for being such a handful. May I please stay in the program?

Ilia:......You’ll be on leave for two weeks. Just enough time for all the work you’re gonna miss to be annoying; also enough time to put you through horrific drills after your head heals. But yes you can stay. One day for sure I’m gonna make a fine Shadow out of you.

Sienna:*smiles* There’s not a doubt in my mind you will ma’am!

Ilia:Ugh, I feel so old when you say that. By the way your punishment begins now; I called your mom.

Sienna:You did wha-

Jacquelyn:*runs through door* Sienna!!!! Oh thank goodness you’re okay and- *gasp* Is that my darling husband!?

Sienna:Wow mom, I feel the love and concern right now...

Jael:*runs in* Sissy!

Sienna:Hey there kiddo! Oh I’ve missed you while I was at camp.

Jael:*sits on bed* Well maybe if you wrote letters then you’d miss me less. You’re as bad as Father!

Adam:Ouch.....right here.

Jael:*smiles* I know, why is my sister handcuffed?

Sienna:Don’t worry about it. I was misbehaving and they had to.

Jael:Hmph! That’s dumb...

Jael grabs the chain and squeezes tight. Soon after, her hand glows and she snaps snaps it easily. Sienna is amazed every time she sees her little sister discover how to use her semblance. Gravity control is a very useful thing to have.

Jael:All better! Whoever did that to you has to face me!

Ilia:It was me you little rascal.

Jael:Aunt Ilia? Fine, I meant went I said! *puts fists up*

Sienna:Looks like I’m not the only one with fighting spirit.

Ilia:I hope she doesn’t have an explosive temper like her big sis. *smiles* the world isn’t ready for that.

Adam:I’ll say, me or the world isn’t ready for that force of nature yet.

Jael:Please, like I’ll ever be as hot head as you two. I’m as cool as they come.

[six years later, hospital]

Sienna:*watching over a comatose Adam* If you don’t head out soon you’ll miss your boat to Beacon.

Jael:I’m leaving now. *opens door*

Sienna:Jael......don’t do anything reckless you hear me? You’re as cool as they come remember?

Jael:.......I thought I was. *leaves*

Sienna:I don’t know if you can hear me dad but please watch over her. Guess I wasn’t a very good role model.

Nothing was said after that, it wasn’t like she expected a response anyway. She began to close her eyes and hold her hands together. Sienna was never one to pray often, but this was too important to take any chances with. Selling her own wouldn’t be a bad price to pay if she could.

Sienna:Please.....don’t let her end up like me or the rest of us. Keep her hands clean....

[she-is-tim]

I love hating you | Elu enemies to lovers AU | Ch. 8

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6.5, 7

Lucas is an angry, closeted and frustrated gay teenager, while Eliott is the handsome, smart and popular guy in school. They hate each other… but not forever.

I want the best for you

Lucas was staring at his phone for probably an hour or so. He was at the flat with the boys, sitting on the couch. They were playing some video game, but he couldn’t care much. He kept checking his followers on instagram, seeing the blessed username still being there. Of course he immediately followed Eliott back, but since then there was no sign of him. He didn’t text Lucas or liked any other posts on his profile. He was still nervous, afraid that it was just a mistake and the boy could unfollow him at any second. 

When he was refreshing his follower list for like the hundredth time, Yann let out an annoyed sigh and snatched the phone from his hand. Lucas made an inhuman noise, getting the attention to the other two friends. Basile quickly paused the game. The short boy still tried to get back his phone, but his best friend had long arms and kept him back by placing his hand on Lucas’ chest. 

“No, this stays at my hands. You are being obsessed, man. What are you even looking at?” he asked, checking the phone screen and rolled his eyes. “Are you serious? He’s not gonna unfollow you.”

“Why not? Maybe it was a mistake and he will unfollow when he notices...” he started to ramble.

“Lucas, he’s trying to reach out, you shouldn’t be so worried about it.” Arthur said with a serious look, putting the controller on the coffee table. 

“But what if...”

“Lucas, just stop talking.” Basile said, surprising his friends yet once again. “You said that you like this guy, right? He’s out there, liking the post you made about him, following you on instagram and sending you drawings. What is holding you back? He is into you, I’m sure about that.” his face was serious, looking straight into his friend’s eyes, Lucas couldn’t respond to that, because he had a good point. Arthur on the other hand was smiling brightly, making him look even more handsome. 

“Baz, you really make that damned braincell work hard lately.” he said and squeezed his friend’s shoulder proudly. 

Yann smirked too, still holding Lucas’ phone in his hands, making sure that his best friend doesn’t check his instagram again. The short boy sighed with a fond smile on his face, then he got up to bring some beer from the kitchen. Not too much, since it was only wednesday, but they still can have some fun. He couldn’t remember the last time he was together with the boys like this. Just chilling home, playing video games, drinking beer and talking shit. 

Thursday went by eventless, Lucas didn’t see Eliott all day, even though they wew supposed to have literature together. He got just a tiny bit worried, but he tried to live up to what Basile said to him, But he couldn’t help himself. After school, he had to open his chat with Eliott and the chaotic idiot in his head decided to text him.

lucallemant Literature was boring today, we were talking about Rouge et Noir, did you read that one? 

He locked his phone now and put it down next to him on the couch, trying to focus his brain on the tv. Lisa was sitting not too far from him, wrapped in a blanket, staring at the screen with the dumbest face she could just make. Lucas smiled a little, he started to like her inevitable presence here, it made him feel like he wasn’t alone. He got up and walked to the kitchen, making some sandwiches, since he just noticed how hungry he was. 

When he finished eating, he walked back to the living room, hopping down next to his flatmate, who let out a disapproving groan. Lucas giggled, grabbing his phone and checking it. He almost had a heart attack when he saw Eliott’s username on the screen, unlocking it quickly and checking the message he got from him. 

srodulv Yeah, it’s a great book, you should read it too 

Lucas heart started to beat insanely fast and he wished he could have a room to run back to. He wanted to jump up and down in happiness, squealing like a baby seal and then throw himself on the bed as he types an answer. But he had to accept the little space on the couch, pulling up his legs, shaking uncontrollably. He had to start the sentence at least five times, because he kept making typos and writing stupid shit. He had to keep himself at the subject and not bringing up things between them. Eliott answered because he was talking about literature, which is one of his favorite subject in school. 

lucallemant I’m not a big reader and that book is LONG 

srodulv Books are supposed to be long

lucallemant Yeah, not my thing

srodulv You are just one grumpy hedgehog, huh? 

lucallemant I guess that’s my speciality

After that he got no response, but he still felt like he is the happiest guy on this planet. He hugged the phone to his chest, enjoying the serenity taking over his thoughts. Long minutes passed and the light buzz in his hand pulled him out of his thoughts. He was hoping it was a message from Eliott, but he felt just a little disappointment seeing the username of the sender.

sofalaoui Did you do something?  Lucas, he is fucking smiling I can’t explain how happy this makes me, but he’s smiling again 

Lucas was overwhelmed by his own feelings that these messages caused him. It was from Eliott’s best friend, who knew him better than anyone. He was saying that Eliott, the guy he was head over heels for is smiling again, after long times of being sad and depressed. He couldn’t handle this, so he just went to the bathroom, washing his face and staring at his reflection for long, agonizing minutes. 

He got startled by the knocking on the door. It was Lisa, she had to use the bathroom, so Lucas left and took his opportunity to lay on the couch. He was holding his phone to his chest, humming happily. Minutes passed when he felt buzzing, quickly checking what it was. Another text from Eliott.

srodulv So Rouge et Noir is the current book? 

lucallemant Yeah

srodulv Okay, just wanna make sure I’ll catch up on things for tomorrow

Lucas felt his heart beating in his throat, reading the text over and over again. Was this meaning that Eliott will come to school tomorrow? That they will have literature together? After such a long time. He tried to breathe through his nose, calm down his heart while he texted back.

lucallemant Good, gotta keep up that reputation of yours, right? 

srodulv Sort of 

lucallemant Tomorrow is going to be a long day

srodulv Why is that? 

lucallemant Daphné asked me and the boys to repaint that mural from hell after school

srodulv I see

Lucas didn’t know what to answer to that. He didn’t wanted to seem pushy by inviting Eliott to the common rom with them. It wasn’t easy for him to text back, so he probably doesn’t wanna rush meeting in person. And they will have literature together, so he’s going to see and be close to Eliott no matter what. At least he was hoping that it will be the case.

In the morning Lucas panicked. He was running around in the house, into the bathroom, then to the kitchen, back to the living room and repeated that circle until he bumped into a really annoyed Mika. The older boy grabbed his waist, making sure that he stops whatever he was doing and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Kitten, I’d really appreaciate if you’d stop this like right now.” he said, sounding like a disapproving parent.

“But Mika... I don’t know what to do, Eliott is going to come to school today and we’ll be having a class together and I just...”

“Okay, stop.” Mika raised his hand to stop his flatmate from rambling. “Is Eliott the guy you like? The one you had a thing with? That broke your heart?” he asked, raising his eyebrows so high they disappeared behind his dark locks.

“Yeah... also no. I mean, he didn’t break my heart... not completely...” he mumbled and looked at the ceiling now, letting out quiet curses under his breath before continuing. “I am still into him and it seems like he feels the same... we just had a conflict.” he tried to explain things without saying too much. It was burning inside him to tell people why it was difficult with Eliott, but he knew that sharing information about his mental illness wasn’t something he could just do.

“Okay, so you are so whipped for this Eliott guy that you don’t know... What to wear to school?” Mika asked, voice a bit high-pitched, a playful smirk appearing on his face and Lucas can feel the blush taking place on his cheeks.

“Well... I just... It’s not...” he mumbled and then just sighed. “Yeah, sort of.” he admitted. 

After that there was a really long and painful moment where Mika tried to pick him nice clothes that Lucas dismissed immediately. He tried to fix his hair, but the boy cut him off after he saw the hair products in his flatmate’s hand. All in all he put on navy blue jeans, a nice grey shirt and his favorite grey hoodie. He packed up black sweatpants and a shirt too, just to not ruin his outfit during the painting after school. 

He finally left the place, hearing Mika yelling stupid shit after him like “Go get him, tiger” and “Make that man yours”. Lucas felt really embarrassed and just wanted to get to school in one piece, without having a heart attack. At least his stupid flatmate helped him forget about the Eliott issue. He only remembered it again when he entered the school building and saw him. Standing by the lockers, cocky smile on his face as he talked to Alex. 

Lucas stopped by the doorway, staring at him, like he’s a unique statue on an exhibition. He could be. Considering that he looked so damn fine on this beautiful friday morning. Hair messy like always, shining in the sunlight, wearing black jeans, black shirt and a navy blue denim jacket. The sleeves were rolled up, showing off his forearms and that sweet tattoo on it. Lucas remembered how many times he traced his fingers up and down, kissing it even. 

He got so lost in his thoughts that he jumped a little when Alex yelled his name. His face felt much more warm that it should have been as he looked up from Eliott’s forearm and their eyes met. There was something in them that made Lucas’ stomach do a backflip. He couldn’t look away, especially not when that familiar, soft smile started to take place on the tall boy’s face. His heart fluttered in his chest. 

“Lucas, are you here?” he jumped yet once again when Alex snapped his fingers just inches from his face.

“What? Who... Yeah, I’m here.” he mumbled, shaking his head and looking away from Eliott, who stayed at his place thank god. “Good morning, Alex.”

“Morning.” he said with a wide smirk now. “How’s it going today?” 

“Good... yeah, I’m doing okay. What about you?” he asked, trying to play cool, not glancing over the tall, handsome boy who seemed to have fun watching him being awkward. Fuck you for being so smooth, Eliott! 

“I’m fine. You know, Eliott and I were just talking about my party tonight.” he explained.

“You’re throwing a party again?” Lucas raised his eyebrows. “But you had a party like... two or three weeks ago.” 

“What can I say? I love doing parties and my parents are always out for business.” he said smirking, shrugging it off easily. “You wanna come?” 

“I’m not sure. I have to repaint the mural in the common room with the guys. You know Daphné, she’ll kill us if we don’t do it now.” he said with an apologetic smile. He really wanted to go, especially if Eliott will be there, but he can’t choose him over his friends once again. That would be a dick move after all of their support.

“Sure, I get it.” Alex said and gently punched him on the shoulder. “Take care, little one.” he smirked and walked back to Eliott. 

Lucas let out a sigh as he watched the two boys just walking away. He pulled out his phone to check something, probably the time, but he wasn’t even sure, when a notification popped up at the top of his screen that he got a message. He clicked on it and almost had a heart attack.

srodulv You look pretty when you blush

Okay, this was not the right time to panic, but Eliott was just straight up flirting with him, shamelessly. While they were on bad therms. He didn’t know what to respond, so he just shoved his phone into his bag and walked to his class. This was making no sense. Eliott ignored him for almost a whole week, avoiding the only class they shared and now he was back with his cheesy flirts and soft smiles? How is he supposed to react to that? 

Lucas didn’t know how to feel during the day, especially not when literature class came and he had to sit next to Eliott. The boy seemed to be in a good mood, but they haven’t really talked to each other, he was actually doodling in his notebook during the whole class. It was just weird and Lucas started to have doubts. He really liked Eliott and wanted to try this relationship with him, but these sudden changes just made him confused. He was thinking that this might be because of his bipolarity, but he had to get rid of that thought. He had to shut out the negativity and just jump into this. It was something that made him happy, made him feel things he never felt before. This was the right thing. 

Lucas was mad when the boys said they will be late. He just finished his classes, walking towards the common room. It was already 15:34 and he still had to wait for that three idiots to get their shit together. He didn’t wanted to stay in school until midnight to paint a damn wall. Not like he had better things to do and he really hoped that his friends weren’t planning on ditching him. He put away his phone after texting back the boys, opening the heavy door. 

The common room looked so different, furniture moved to the sides, covered in plastic sheets, so is the floor, while the ugly ass mural was now fully visible in its terrible glory, having two spotlight on the sides of it. Lucas was glad that Daphné and the girls did the preparations and bought the paints for them, because he had no patience for that part. But he suddenly forgot everything when he saw a person, standing in front of the mural, hands shoved into his pockets. Lucas could only see his back, but he could pick out that hair from the biggest crowd anytime.

“Eliott...” he mumbled, dropping his bag on the floor. The door behind him slammed shut loudly, which startled the tall boy. He turned around and looked at Lucas with a shy smile on his face.

“Hey.” 

“What are you doing here?” he asked shocked, looking around to make sure no one else is in the room. It was just the two of them. 

“I was the one who offered to repaint the mural in the first place.” He said and shrugged. 

“That’s true... but I told you that I’ll do it with the guys.” he mumbled, talking nonsense, since his brain decided to take off the rest of the day apparently.

“Lucas, can you please notice that I’m trying my very best to have a face to face talk with you... alone.” he said, looking serious now, turning his whole body towards the short boy. Lucas had troubles breathing now, but his legs moved on their own, walking forward until it was just a few steps between them. 

“Okay then. I am here, we are alone.” he said, looking into the stormy eyes, feeling everything at once. Attraction, nervousness, fear, excitement, happiness, sadness. It was overwhelming, but he could handle it, if Eliott was there by his side.

“I think you should tell your friends to not come.” Eliott suggested with a little smile on his face. “If you really want us to have alone time...” 

Lucas just nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening the chat with the boys. He felt a bit bad that he’s ditching them once again, but this was important for him and Eliott. They had to talk and if it had to happen in the common room while painting a fucking wall, then so be it. 

Lucas Guys, I’m so sorry, but can you not come to the common room today? 

Arthur What’s wrong? We’ll be there, just late.

Yann  Yeah, don’t be so upset, Lulu

Basile I have great ideas

Lucas It’s not that... Eliott is here and i wanna be alone with him 

Arthur Woah, that was unexpected

Yann I don’t like this... 

Lucas It’s gonna be fine, and he was the one who offered Daphné to repaint this shit anyways, so...

Basile But I wanted to impress Daphné...

Yann We’ll go somewhere to drink You do you and smooth things out with that guy, Lulu

Arthur Good luck

Lucas sighed and put away his phone, looking at Eliott, who was now looking through the buckets of paints, checking all the colors. He opened the white ones, also grabbing a paint roller. The boy had to smile seeing his determined expression. He really wanted to make something out of this mural. 

“I told the guys.” he said which got the other’s attention quickly, glancing at Lucas over his shoulder. 

“Good, help me with this then.” he said and nodded his head towards the supplies. “Grab a roller, we’ll be painting it white first, making a clean canvas.” 

“Sure thing.” he said and did exactly what Eliott asked him to. 

They both had a bucket of white paint, starting to cover up the mural with it. None of them said a word during the process, but it felt alright. Lucas was sure that this was just to make both of them relaxed and comfortable before starting the real conversation. He hoped that the tall boy will soon open up to him, telling him whatever he feels about him... about whatever is going on between them. 

“You failed there.” he heard suddely, being startled by the closeness of the voice. Eliott was stading right next to him, pointing to a little spot where the mural was still visible under the paint.

“That wasn’t on purpose.” he mumbled, feeling dizzy now that this handsome, tall boy was being so close. 

“I can’t let you fail like that on me.” 

“I am not failing on you. Have some trust in me.” he said a bit angrily, looking at the boy, who now had a huge, blinding smile on his face. Lucas let out a relieved sigh. “You are beautiful when you smile.” he mumbled, surprising both Eliott and himself. 

“Say that again.” the tall boy demanded, leaning close to him. Lucas blushed heavily, turning his head away, staring at the almost fully covered mural. He made a squeaky noise when Eliott slid an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. “I missed you.” he whispered, resting his chin on the boy’s shoulder now. Lucas shivered and turned back to face Eliott, their lips were almost touching like that. He looked into the stormy grey eyes, letting out a soft sigh which made the tall one smile softly.

“I missed you too, Eliott.” he mumbled, letting the paint roller slip out of his hand, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck. 

“I think we have things to talk about.” he kept whispering, leaning his forehead to Lucas’. “I said... mean things to you.”

“Yeah, but so did I.” he admitted and closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. “I hit you... I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“I kinda deserved it...”

“No, you didn’t.” Lucas shook his head and slid his hands on Eliott’s face, cupping it gently. “All of this was my fault, I kissed you in public, not the other way around.” he said and sighed. 

“I should have told you about my bipolarity sooner.” 

“Listen here... Having a mental illness is something people can’t just talk about casualy. I understand why you were hesitating with it.” Lucas smiled, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. “You know... my mother is ill too.” he said suddenly, feeling like he had to get this rock off his chest, be honest with this guy in front of him. 

“What?” Eliott asked a bit shocked, leaning back a little so he could study the boy’s face. 

“She thinks that the apocalypse is coming, that Jesus and God are talking through her to save our soul.” he started, looking into the other’s eyes. “She is going to therapies and doing well, but sometimes she snaps. I don’t see her often, because... we had a hard time in my family. My father left us last year, cause he couldn’t handle her outbursts, then my mom’s condition got worse, I had to skip school to stay home with her, but I was just so useless... The only thing my father did for her was to hire a nurse and pay for her therapy. I was really sad and upset those days, Mika found me in front of a gay bar, totally wasted. He took me to his place and let me stay in their basement for a few weeks. When Manon found out about me, she was already packing up to London, so she let me take her room.” he finished his story with a deep sigh, leaning his forehead on Eliott’s chest. He couldn’t say anymore, this was already too much at once. His fucked up family could be enough reason for the boy to leave him right now, before things go further. 

“Okay...” Eliott sighed and wrapped both of his arms around Lucas now, pulling him as close as possible, burying his face into the soft hair. “Thank you for telling me all that.” he said softly. “I guess it’s my turn to share my dark backstory now.” his tone was a bit playful which made Lucas smile. He looked up at Eliott with that blissed expression on his face that was basically too seductive for the tall boy. He had to breathe in and then out, holding himself back from kissing this beautiful person in his arms. 

“You don’t have to.” Lucas said softly. “I can wait.”

“I really don’t think I deserve you, Lucas.” he sighed now, touching their foreheads again. “I’ve been through so much shit in my life... especially after I got diagnosed... And here you are, looking at me like that... making me harder to not kiss you.”

“Why can’t you kiss me?” he pouted, looking like a sweet hedgehog now who didn’t get his afternoon cuddles. Eliott chuckled. 

“Because we have a wall to paint.” he started, nodding towards the almost completely white wall. “And serious things to talk about.” he said, cupping the boy’s face now. “If I kiss you, we wouldn’t be talking, just making out and I will be fine with it... but there’s things I have to tell you.” 

“We will have time to talk...”

“No, Lucas.” he sighed and let him go now, taking a few steps back. He needed to keep distance, otherwise he would do something he doesn’t want to, just yet. 

“It’s okay, I am not scared.” the boy said seriously.

“You should be.” Eliott said now, looking at him dead in the eye. “There will be times when I won’t be nice, Lucas. When I don’t want you around. I will yell, send you away, slam doors at you... I will hurt you and I don’t think I could survive that. I want the best for you, but that is not me.” his voice cracked at the end, eyes filling with tears. He couldn’t look at the short boy in front of him, he just couldn’t do it. He had to say this to make things clear. He had to break things for good. 

“Okay, that is a bullshit.” Lucas said angrily, putting his hands on his hips. Eliott’s head shot up, looking at him in disbelief.

“Say what?” 

“I said that is a total bullshit. You can’t tell me what is good or bad for me. This is my life, Eliott. If I wanna jump into a relationship with a guy who has bipolar disorder, then so be it. You can’t stop me, because I know you want it to. So cut the bullshit.” he said with a serious and determined look on his face. 

Eliott was just staring at him for a few minutes before a huge smile spread on his face. He took that few steps towards Lucas, scooping him up into his arms into a bone-crashing hug. The short boy laughed happily, hugging him back immediately. They looked into each other’s eyes and not knowing who made the first move, they were kissing. Wildly, passionately, trying to catch up on all those missed out days they weren’t together. Eliott let Lucas down, leaning after him, not letting go of his lips for one second. He held his waist, keeping him close and enjoying this sweet moment. 

Lucas was incredibly happy, feeling the butterflies flutter in his stomach as he wrapped his arms around Eliott’s neck. Their lips were making sloppy and slurping noises. After some time they got a bit dizzy and the tall boy tried to find themselves a solid place to sit down to, but he stumbled into a bucket of red paint, causing him and Lucas to fall, right into the paint. They looked at each other shocked first and then started laughing. Lucas dipped his hand into the bucket and wiped it into Eliott’s shirt. The older boy didn’t let this unanswered, he pulled closer a bucket of blue paint and sprinkled Lucas’ shirt with it. They continued this until their clothes were completely covered in paint, just like their hands, but then Eliott grabbed the short boy’s face, pulling him into a demanding kiss. 

Hours later they were standing in front of the repainted mural, looking like they were swimming in a pool of paint. Following Eliott’s suggestion, they tried to do some Jackson Pollock-looking galaxy out of it. The base was blue, pink and purple mixed together quite well, then above that just while, yellow and light blue sprinkled stains. Lucas was actually proud of their work, ignoring the fact that they totally ruined their clothes and wasted way too many paint in the process. Daphné will understand for sure. 

The dried paint on their face, their clothes and in their hair started to feel uncomfortable, but it was kind of embarrassing to leave the room like this. They could still hear some students walking and talking on the hallway. It wouldn’t be hard to make an excuse, but since both of their mouth were a shade of purple mixed from blue and red paint, that couldn’t be explained easily. Lucas glanced at Eliott, who was staring at their work with a satisfied expression on his face.

“We should take a shower.” Lucas said which catched Eliott’s attention. The tall boy looked at him, raising his eyebrows playfully, which made Lucas blush. Thankfully it wasn’t visible with all that paint covering his cheeks. “To get rid of the paint.” he said, trying to sound serious. “I’m pretty sure it’s not good for our skin to have this much paint on it.”

“It might not be healthy, but you look damn hot like this.” he said smirking, while Lucas rolled his eyes. 

“Sure, yeah.” he said clearly unimpressed and walked to his backpack now. He heard the steps behind him on the plastic sheet. Good thing Daphné covered the whole floor, because there was a lot of paint everywhere. 

“How about you get your attention back on me, huh?” Eliott said, sounding like a stubborn child. Lucas shot him a disapproving look over his shoulder before he continued searching in his bag. 

“I have clothes to change to. What about you?” he asked now that he found his jeans and clean shirt. 

“All i have is you, right here, showing that fine butt of yours to me, which is quite impressive, I gotta say.” Eliott replied which made the short boy to turn around and gave him the look, again. 

“Eliott Demaury, stop with the flirting. We gotta wash off the paint.” he said seriously, but a little smile was playing on his lips. He couldn’t be mad at this gorgeous person who made him so damn happy today. 

“Okay then.” he gave up, raising his hands now with a cheeky smile. “Let’s go.”

Lucas woke up feeling all sorts of pain in his body. His head felt dizzy, like he was drinking last night, which he was sure he didn’t do. He opened his eyes and turned to his side, but was shocked that he was alone in his “bed”. He sat up so quickly the rom started to spin with him a little. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and looking around. He was in the living room, on the pulled out couch, half naked under the blanket, arms still stained with paint, but Eliott was nowhere to be found. 

He felt waves of feelings washing over him, his eyes filling with tears. He thought that all of yesterday was just Eliott’s way to say goodbye and let him go. That their relationship ended even before it could start. He almost started crying when the tall boy appeared in the living room with two plates in his hands, wearing nothing but a boxer and Lucas’ grey hoodie, unzipped. He smiled brightly until he noticed that something was wrong. He quickly walked to the boy, putting down the plates to the coffee table, cupping Lucas’ face and forcing him to look at him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked worryingly, caressing his soft skin with his thumbs. Lucas could still smell the paint on his hands and it calmed him down.

“Nothing, I’m sorry.” he mumbled, sobbing a little. “I was just...” he looked at the bed and back at Eliott. The older boy chuckled and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

“Oh my. You thought I left?” he asked with a gentle smile on his face. “I would never leave you, not after what happened yesterday.” he said, leaning forward to knock his forehead on Lucas’ like he always did. The boy smiled now, eyes still a bit red. 

“I know, I was just...”

“I gave you good reasons not to trust me, I know.” he sighed.

“No, it’s not that... It’s just so hard to believe that we are... together.” he mumbled, not really sure if that’s the right therm to use, but it made Eliott’s smile brighter, so he was happy with it. 

“Yes, we are together for sure.” he said and kissed the boy deeply, passionately. 

“Looks like someone found their prince charming on this fine saturday morning.” Mika interrupted them, leaning to the wall that was separating the living room from the hall, having a big smile on his face. Lucas broke the kiss which made Eliott make a cute whining sound and looked at his flatmate over the boy’s shoulder. 

“How nice of you to giving us some privacy.” Lucas said with as much sarcasm as he just could so early in the morning. 

“Grumpy kitten must have a little morning tent in his underpants that has to be handled, huh?” Mika shot back with a wide smirk that made Eliott giggle. Lucas gave him a disapproval look before glancing back to his flatmate. “Just leave, please.” 

Mika just chuckled and waved as he walked into his room, victoriously. Lucas sighed, deeply and looked at the boy in front of him. He had stains of paint on his face too, but he was still that perfect guy he fell for. His hands cupped Eliott’s cheeks before he kissed him slowly, passionately. The tall boy didn’t hesitato to open his mouth and let Lucas deepend the kiss, playing with his tongue. His long fingers wandered into the boy’s long, soft hair, grabbing it just a little to pull him back, getting a little moan out of him as he kept kissing him, a bit more wildly than before. 

They pulled back after long minutes, lips swollen, eyes fully on each other, smiling like idiots. Lucas stroked Eliott’s neck softly, tracing around the stains of paint on his skin. The older boy enjoyed this, but then looked at the plates on the coffee table.

“We should eat it before it gets cold.” he said softly, letting go of the lovely boy, grabbing the plates and giving one to Lucas. 

The boy accepted it, making himself comfortable on the bed and also scooting to the side, giving space for Eliott to sit next to him. It was relaxing to just have a quiet breakfast on his damned couch with the most handsome guy he had ever seen. Who was now apparently his boyfriend too. 

Monday morning came like a lightning bolt. Lucas and Eliott spent the weekend at the flatshare, annoying the hell out of Mika and Lisa, while Manon usually just smiled at them like a proud mother. Of course Eliott had to announce their relationship to the whole world by posting on instagram, first by putting a video in his story where he filmed Lucas playing a video game with Mika. Then Lucas decided to fuck it and took a picture of Eliott laying on the couch, wearing Lucas’ clothes, putting it to his story with bubbling heart gifs around. He was so stupidly in love that he did that. Then Eliott asked him to take a selfie together, and Lucas had nothing against that, so now every single follower of Eliott knew that they are a couple. And to be honest, Lucas felt proud and happy. 

I hope you guys liked this one, I felt like this is a good way to finish it for now and pack some more fluff to the next chapter. Make sure to tell me your opinions on this. And the insta post is just a little extra, I’m not gonna put insta posts in the chapters of course, but this is just a soft way to end the chapter. 

[haouintheworld]

Prologue & Epilogue

OOC: Dropping mun’s first fanfiction in a decade featuring Judai and Johan before and after the events of Bonds Beyond Time. 

Pairing: Spiritshipping

Edit: Typos are fixed and now there are links in the text if you want know about more about Johan’s nightmares dreams and the mysterious mask, go follow @itsashowtime​ to learn more!

___________

The former Osiris Red student had been traveling the globe alone for almost a year now and had fallen out of touch with most of his schoolmates. He texted occasionally with O'Brien and Jim, mainly because they both felt the need to look after Judai as if he was their youngest brother. Asuka checked in once and a while, providing updates on her and Manjyome's lives. Kenzan texted when he could to update Judai on how quiet life had gotten at the Academy. Edo had badgered Judai into downloading Snapchat and they kept up with each other's adventures through brief pictures. The last Judai heard from Edo was a couple videos of Ryou moving in with him a few weeks prior. They'd made Judai laugh especially when he heard Sho complaining in the background. Despite Judai leaving without really saying goodbye, Johan had never drifted away. It was like Judai and Johan hadn't separated. Johan ensured they texted and called each other regularly while he was at university. Judai loved hearing about Johan's path to getting a degree in the history of dueling with a focus on ancient Rome. Apparently, his university had a acquired a few artifacts from an old nameless kingdom. They consisted of some golden braces and a gold-platinum sword which eerily matched this old mask Johan's family had kept for generations. 

Johan didn't mind staying up till odd hours just to talk depending on what time zone Judai was in. Judai didn't care about keeping odd hours either, especially if Johan needed to talk after a nightmare or a bad day. He'd found himself keeping a clock of Oslo's time zone on his home screen and sending postcards to Johan when he remembered to. 

Regardless of the miles between them, the connection he had with Johan only grew. Judai admitted to himself he missed his best friend more than anyone else. He'd said multiple times that he wished Johan could travel with him.

Judai shouldn't have been surprised with what happened in Venice. He traveled there following a lead about someone who'd stolen Ryou's Cyber End Dragon.

He'd just finished asking a batch of local workers if they had seen or heard of a mysterious masked stranger stealing Duel Monster cards. Then Johan called and after a few minutes of talking, Johan asked Judai to describe his surroundings. "Well if you'd just video call me, I could just show you." Judai pouted. "Judai, I told you my camera isn't working after I dropped it. Come on, I wanna hear about it." Johan dragged out the syllables in his name teasingly. Judai sighed, signalling that he agreed to humour his best friend. The giggle he heard from Johan made him smile involuntarily. "Well, I just walked out of a big library and behind me are two very tall columns with different statues on them... They both have wings?" Judai trailed off as his description of his surroundings turned into a question. Johan laughed, "You're the one who's there! And that big library is called the Biblioteca Nazionale Marciana."   Judai smiled, he liked the sound of Johan's Italian. He noticed windy feedback on Johan's end. "Are you on your run or something?" Judai inquired, reminding himself how more than a few times they'd caught up while Johan was working out. "Yep, I called you right before I walked out of my place," Johan confirmed before adding, "now go on." Judai rolled his eyes, "There are plenty of tourists around and jeez these people like their fancy archways. I'll have to send you a picture." "Ha, please do. I love that there's all these religious details and then they just have four horses randomly on the centre arch." "I know, right?" Judai glanced up at them before asking, "Have you been here before?" "Not until today." Judai's brain didn't process that the source of Johan's voice had changed for a second. He'd opened his mouth to question his best friend and then his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, his brain screaming at him to turn around. 

So he did.

And his heart soared.

"Johan."

"Judai." 

Closing the small distance between them, the two boys embraced each other. They both laughed joyfully, lost in their own little bubble. Judai even picked Johan up and twirled him around. They didn't realise the few kind looks they received from tourists and locals alike. Another couple was walking toward the water and looked knowingly at each other.

"What are you even- don't you have university or work?" Judai wondered, this was the last thing he'd expected to happen today. He was so thankful to see Johan in person instead of on a tiny screen! He was considerably taller than him now too! He held on to Johan's arms, not wanting to break their connection as if the bluenette would disappear. "I did this crazy thing called finishing a school year?" Johan teased before adding, "I was planning to come find you no matter where you were since I'd have the time. It's been too long and I... I really needed to see you." Judai smiled softly, he was so touched. He'd desperately missed having Johan by his side. As much as he appreciated Hane Kuriboh, his professor, Pharaoh, and the other duel spirits, Judai wanted to be with people that didn't exist on another plain of existence. Moreover, he missed getting lost in those emerald eyes. "I needed to see you too, Johan." Neither spoke for a beat, something unspoken shared between their souls. They were happy to just be in the moment with each other.  

Johan would've been the first to break the silence had not Ruby Carbuncle and Hane Kuriboh appeared angrily looking in the direction of a plaza. Swooping over their heads with a piercing metal screech, was a darkened version of Cyber End Dragon. Its tail running through the central part of the library Judai was just in. Everyone in the streets began screaming and sprinting in directions away from the dragon. Within seconds Judai and Johan had dropped their respective bags. They loaded and activated their duel disks in sync before calling out their ace monsters. "Let's go Elemental Hero Neos!" "Come on out, Rainbow Dragon!" The two monsters shimmered into existence, Judai tapped into the powers given to him by the Supreme King to materialise the monsters into real beings. 

Whoever was doing this had some serious power behind them.

Rainbow Dragon allowed Neos to fly near his head as the two sped towards Cyber End Dragon, their powers charging. However, before either could act, an unfamiliar pearly dragon appeared and rammed Rainbow Dragon into the ground in a flurry of stardust. The force sent Johan and Judai to the ground as Crystal Beasts and Elemental Heroes appeared around them.

"RAINBOW DRAGON!" Johan cried out. He pushed himself forcibly to his feet so he could run to his largest family member. Before he could sprint, Rainbow Dragon disappeared in a flash of light along with his respective card. The remaining dragons flew upwards and began circling the city. Neos barely had time to move out of danger's way and touched back down in the crater Rainbow Dragon was in.

"No... No. No! NO!" A chorus of denial sang from the Crystal Beasts and their Protector who fell to his knees. 

Amethyst Cat roared alongside with Topaz Tiger before lying around Johan. Ruby Carbuncle cried as she climbed into Johan’s arm and he cradled her. Emerald Tortoise settled himself next to Topaz before shrinking into his shell in an effort to hide his tears. Cobalt Eagle landed atop Emerald with a strained call. Sapphire Pegasus and Amber Mammoth flanked their family closely, both crestfallen. 

Judai watched the group mourn for a moment before moving to throw an arm around Johan. His best friend leaned into the touch and let his tears fall, his shoulders jerking. Judai had felt Rainbow Dragon disappear and couldn't sense him with any of his powers. He looked to his heroes and they shared looks of awe and disbelief. He could barely process what had just happened or how in the world something could defeat Rainbow Dragon that quickly. Where did the card go? Who was doing this and why?

A few minutes passed like this and Judai got the feeling there was more to Johan and his family's reaction. Something had been wrong as of late... Judai wondered if it related to the bad dreams Johan had that he hadn't even wanted to describe. Suddenly, Johan stood and turned, startling Judai and the duel spirits around them. "Sapphire. Cobalt. We're going up to get some answers. I’m not letting this happen again." His tone was firm as he made to mount Sapphire, Ruby hopping out of his arms and onto Sapphire's back. To Johan's shock Sapphire denied him, "You can't be reckless, we don't know what we're facing." "He's right," Amethyst chimed in, her voice painted with sadness, "we have to think about this." "We're not all being separated again." Amber added. Judai felt unknown guilt flood him at the idea of the Crystal Beasts being separated. Johan began to protest when Topaz growled back toward the sky. Everyone turned to witness a darkened Rainbow Dragon emerge from gathered clouds. A maniacal laugh echoed above. Emerald emerged, murmuring, "Judai Yuki..." His words carried more than a name. Emerald's tone and eyes asked Judai for an answer. For a hero.

Judai nodded and flashed a reassuring smile. “I'll bring Rainbow Dragon back! This guy won't know what hit him!”

Johan spun towards Judai, his face a conglomerate of incredulous, concerned anger.

“You're not going in there alone!”

Judai scoffed, rolling his eyes and taking a few backwards steps towards the chaos, “I won't be! I've got duel spirits too you know.”

“Judai! Whoever that is you can't duel them by yourself!”

“Watch me, Duel Academy prepared me for crises. Plus, if they're after rare spirits, you have to protect them and keep them away from the fight.” Judai motioned to the worried Crystal Beasts.

“Judai, I swear to- Fine! I'll use my Gem Knights then, that way their cards don't-”

"I CAN'T lose you again!" Judai implored and almost screamed, his eyes flashing gold. 

Johan looked taken aback, his eyes, red and glassy from crying, widened. Judai followed his impulse to close the distance between Johan and him. He took Johan's face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together. 

"Johan... You have to be safe, I can't duel, let alone think clearly at the thought of losing you, seeing you hurt like this..." Judai's eyes stared into Johan's emerald ones, willing him to understand.

Off in the distance, sounds of buildings crashing, dragon roars, and people screaming were heard. The two didn't have time to speak what their hearts yearned for.

Johan wrapped his arms around Judai's waist and squeezed him tight. They both shut their eyes for a beat.

“Go save Rainbow Dragon… and the world too while you're at it.” Johan relented, eliciting a chuckle from Judai.

“As you wish.” Judai joked, his eyes opening to see Johan's beautiful green eyes and a ghost of a smile. He was thankful to see those eyes.

“I'll wait for you here.” Johan loosened his grip so Judai could step away.

Judai smiled and made his “Gotcha” sign before sprinting towards the Piazza San Marco.

----

With a grin, Judai waved to Yusei as the latter started up his D-wheel and sped through a portal back to his time. Feeling the breeze pick up, Judai turned and observed his surroundings. He was back in Venice and the sun was setting, washing the buildings with shades of gold. His heart had settled after the intense duel with Paradox and once in a lifetime chance to tag duel with the King of Games. His smile wouldn't leave his face as he thought of all the incredible combos they pulled off to save their respective timelines. As Judai relived the duel, his thoughts were stolen by how Paradox had corrupted Rainbow Dragon also known as the reason Judai battled the villain in the first place. He pulled out his deck and flipped the top card. "It's good to see you, friend." Judai murmured to the card. He felt the dragon's gratitude channeled towards him before he heard what sounded like an ancient voice question him. "My protector, I am sure, is worried about both of us." The dragon ventured, echoing in his mind. At those words, Judai's heart started beating erratically and he clutched the cards in his hand tighter. Johan... With a quick movement, the cards were back in the deck box he kept clipped to his belt and Judai took off towards the place he'd last saw his best friend.

Gratefully, he admired how it seemed the destruction Paradox caused earlier disappeared because now he could appreciate the view. There weren’t many people lingering around. Judai wondered if anyone remembered how close they came to danger or if Time’s magic had interfered.

Either way, he could make out the silhouette of his best friend looking out over the water. Only Ruby sat on his shoulders now. Judai felt in his soul that he’d made this walk to Johan many times in this life and the one previous. He didn’t know very much about his past as the Supreme King besides the dreams he sometimes had. Once in a while, something might trigger a memory, but those moments were few and far between in this past year.

This was one of those moments. It was brief, but as the sunset shifted from golds to reds, Judai swore he saw Johan in glittering armour complete with a cape billowing in the wind.

As quick as it came, the illusion faded away as Ruby turned his way, alerting Johan of Judai’s return.

“What is it, Ruby?” Johan murmured, inclining his head towards her.

She chirped happily before disappearing to the plane duel spirits existed on. Judai assumed that’s where the other Crystal Beasts were along with his own duel spirits. He could hardly feel any of their presences, he wasn’t even sure Pharaoh was nearby?

They were purposefully leaving Judai alone with Johan.

Judai was good with that.

Johan turned to him, his eyes full of concern, doubt, hope, and something else Judai couldn’t decipher.

“Judai…”

Judai stopped an arm’s distance from Johan, trying his best to keep a straight face. Ultimately, he failed the second he reached back for his deck and pulled out Rainbow Dragon’s card. He smiled reassuringly and held it out for Johan.

“You did it!” Johan carefully took the card and held it to his heart. “I knew you would, but I was- we were all so worried, but when the buildings went back to normal I- How did you do it? What happened? I...I don’t know how to thank you.” Johan rushed through his words, his bright smile making Judai smile even bigger.

“It was no problem, I’d do anything for you!” Judai admitted happily as he watched Johan return the precious card to his deck. A dim rainbow halo emit briefly from the deck and the duelists knew things were back to normal.

They looked back at each other and laughed, pulling one another in for a victory hug. Johan’s arms wrapped around Judai’s neck while Judai’s went round Johan’s waist.

“You’re my best friend.” Johan said softly after a minute, making no move to end the embrace.

Judai responded by holding Johan a little tighter. His heartbeat pounded as something in his mind clicked into place. Judai couldn’t help but smile as he realised what he was about to do. This was something his heart and soul had known longer than his brain. Now, Judai wouldn’t let himself leave this spot without putting it into words.

“You’re mine…” Judai said finally, matching Johan’s tone. “Hey, I have an idea on how you could thank me.” He added playfully.

Johan pulled back and suspicion was etched on his face along with an unknowing smile. “What did you have in mind?”

Johan withdrew his arms from their hug only to have Judai take both of his hands into his. Judai loved seeing the blush which crept on Johan’s cheeks. Judai could feel his own cheeks burn at the what he was about to do.

“Just listen for a second, okay?” Judai asked.

Johan gave him a small nod. His emerald eyes were wide and his pupils dilated as he searched Judai’s face for a hint.

Taking a deep breath, Judai started, “I got to tag duel with Yugi Mutou and my new friend from the future Yusei against the jerk who stole Rainbow Dragon. It was incredible that we got to work together and meet up despite being from different times. Afterward we talked about how, somehow, we’d meet again because the friendship we made defies time.”

Johan reacted to everything Judai said and clearly had tons of questions from the way his jaw dropped. At the mention of defying time, Johan’s expression grew more serious, as if he was remembering something.

“And it’s just… such a cool thought that people can do that. No matter the adversity or what the world throws at us, people find their way back to each other.” Judai interlaced their fingers together at that and held his gaze on them.

“Johan, you’re… I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier, I realised in that moment… No I think I’ve known for a while that I… I’ve learned so much this past year being on my own. Most of all I learned how important you are to me. I care about everyone else from school too and our duel spirits. But you and I go through so much together and you’ve always been here for me even with continents and evil between us.”

Judai paused and looked back into Johan’s eyes, “I wish I had the words sooner and no matter what you say, I just hope you can let me stay in your life. I want to protect you and be by your side for as long as you’ll let me because... I’m in love with you. I have been a long time, so long that-”

“You don’t remember when you started?” Johan finished for Judai. The look on his face was one Judai will never forget because he knew that the love he felt for Johan was reflecting back at him. Their faces were a couple inches away.

Judai grinned, “Exactly...”

With that, they both leaned in and kissed each other tenderly. Johan disentangled one of his hands to cradle Judai’s face while Judai’s free hand found its way around Johan’s waist. They both smiled into their series of kisses, breathless and happy.

“I love you, Judai.”

“I love you too, Johan.”

[mgarriiplpyinn]

Spell (Destiel)

One moment I’m laying in bed listening to Led Zeppelin, the next a presumably drunk Castiel is being shoved into my room by an obviously Joking Sam. Sam tosses him onto the floor and winks before closing and locking my door from the outside.

“HEY!!”

I stand up defensively and angrily ask

“What the HELL is THIS?!..and why the HELL is CAS-“

I hear Sam laugh before he explains

“Gabriel put a Spell on Cas...I don’t know exactly what it does but apparently it manifests your greatest desire and coincidentally makes him Drunk”

I walk over to the door and yell

“That still doesn’t ANSWER my question?!...Why the HELL is he in MY room?!”

I can hear him laughing as he walks away leaving me Locked in my room with Castiel...

As I’m banging on the door and swearing at Sam Castiel comes up behind me on swaying feet. I turn around just in time to stop him from toppling over. He giggles as I fall against the door with the weight of him. He’s still pressed up against me as he looks up at me through his thick lashes. Something in his sweet expression changes and before I know what’s happening he’s sucking a deep red mark into my neck.

I involuntarily moan as his teeth find the sensitive spot behind my ear. I sigh and tilt my head to give him more access as he laves over the mark with his tongue. Once I realize that I’m getting turned on, I snap myself out of it and use my common sense to push him off me. He just so happens to fall back into my bed...

“WHAT THE HELL CAS?!”

I anxiously rub where his lips were on my neck and stride over to my nightstand.

Just as I reach for my phone I feel the zipper of my jeans being pulled down..

“Easy Tiger,” I huff out nervously and push his hands away “I’m gonna sort this out.”

I pick up my phone and call Sam to figure this whole thing out.

“Having fun Dean?”

“C’mon!..Stop jokin’ around!”

“Fine.”

“Good I’m glad you can be serio-“

“No..If I’m being serious...You’re gonna admit to how you feel about Castiel!”

During this whole conversation Cas had started running his hands up my sides. While Sam babbled on Castiel’s hands seemed to be touching everything.

I interrupt my brother’s boring speech to scold Cas as gently as I can while still getting my point across.

“Woah, Woah!...Just give me a MINUTE!..I-I need you to stop for a sec so I can sort this out..ok?”

Cas removes his hands and I think he’s done so I continue talking with Sam

“So what exactly needs to be done to reverse this who-“

I feel my pants being unbuttoned but what I’m not expecting is for Cas to be in front of me on his knees mouthing at my jeans.

And oh fuck if that isn’t the hottest thing I’ve seen..

Wait?!

I casually step back and redo the button on my jeans before I take a seat on the bed. Sam breaks the awkward silence and says

“So What exactly Caught your attention?...hmm?”

“Oh shut up”

I roll my eyes at Sam but my disdain doesn’t last long because In a split second Castiel is sitting on my lap and slurring in my ear

“I Wanna Mmake you feel gooood”

He gently bites my earlobe as his hands find their way to the button on my jeans again

I try to keep my composure and continue my conversation with Sam

“So how can we reverse this whole thing?...Or is it one of those OO EE OO AH AH Shabangs?”

I hear Sam say something off to the Side and then I hear another voice so I ask

“Hey..Who are you talking to?”

There’s obviously a small tousle for the phone before I actually get an answer...

“HI-Ya Dean-o!...Is Castiel Enjoying himself?”

Fucking Gabriel.

“Can you just stop this already?!”

Gabriel Tsks me before he simply says

“It’s not that easy Lover boy!”

“WELL LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY YOU SHOU-“

I moan louder than I should considering I’m currently on the phone with an angel. But Christ!

Cas has both hands wrapped around my Hardening Erection..I’m snapped out by Gabriel saying

“That’s right Dean-o! You’re on your way to Fixing Dear Castiel...”

Before I can ask more he hangs up I angrily toss my phone onto the nightstand and begrudgingly remove Castiel from me.

Cas Whines as I pick him up and force him to sit on the floor a good foot away from me. As I put my half hard cock back into my boxers and zip up my jeans Cas complains

“Nooo!!” He falls forward and slams his hands on the ground and quietly slurs

“S’Not fair Dean.”

He looks so sad sitting there looking at the floor that eventually I feel guilty and say

“C’mon.”

I scoot over so I’m next to the headboard and pat the empty place next to me. His eyes light up as he quickly climbs up on the bed. I’m very nervous as I blurt out

“Cas...It’s not for nothin’ but, I do like you..it’s just you’re not in your right mind...and I don’t wanna take advantage of you..ok?”

Cas just stares at me innocently for a good while before he finally speaks

“You’re so hot when you’re nervous..”

I blush as his lust filled voice sends a pleasurable tingle down my spine. Cas still hasn’t stopped looking at me through the whole thing and finally I say

“What?”

He smirks and shyly asks

“Can we just kiss?...I promise no more..”

He looks so pure right there I can’t help but breath out a short

“Yes.”

His eyes light up and my stomach flips as he leans forward and gently presses his lips to mine. At first it’s a sweet chaste kiss but before I have a chance to react, his tongue finds it’s way into my open mouth. I shiver and let out a moan as his tongue languidly caresses mine. Soon I can feel him hard against my hip and I know for a fact that he can feel me. We thrust into each other absolutely desperate for friction. He tugs my bottom lip with his teeth and I think I’m gonna come right then and there. He sloppily mouths at my neck and I have to bite my fist to keep from moaning when his wandering hands rub over my nipples.

He does it again pulling back to watch as I bite my lip and arch into his touch.

He pushes my shirt up and starts kissing down my chest.. I shouldn’t be letting him do this..

“Ahh!..Cas!..Wait!wAIt!”

My pleading does nothing to stop him as he dips his tongue into my navel, sending a surge of heat south. I whimper as I feel his mouth working at the zipper of my jeans. And Dear God! He takes his time undoing the button. Once my jeans are unbuttoned and the zipper is pulled down he licks a long wet stripe from the top of my boxers all the way up to my chest. His lips brush the shell of my ear as he whispers

“I wanna see you orgasm.”

He runs his tongue over the shell of my ear as he pushes my jeans down in one swift motion taking my boxers with them. He nips at my neck as he takes a hold of my cock giving it a light squeeze and my eyes roll back in my head. He sucks just behind my ear as he rubs my right nipple with the rough pad of his thumb and I cry out.

“Cas!!..Oh!..sON oF A BITCH?!”

His laugh rumbles out against my throat and before I can catch my breath he speeds up his strokes adding a twist at the tip that has my toes curling and my hips shallowly thrusting up into his tight fist.

I couldn’t help but moan as he began kissing down my chest once again.

Between moans I gasped out

“Yes!..Yes!”

I buried my face in the crook of my elbow. I knew for a fact that if I watched I’d go off like a bomb. I let out an embarrassingly loud moan as he sucked just the tip of my cock into his warm mouth. I thrash under him as his tongue seems to run over every inch of my dick, making it throb painfully as I try not to cum. I successfully hold off my orgasm but when my fingers lace into his hair he hums, sending vibrations through my leaking cock. I whine at the sudden stimulation and I feel him smile around my girth before he proceeds to do it again. This time he makes sure to draw it out sucking hard as he does so.

My orgasm hits me hard and I let out a wail when instead of stopping he makes matters worse. He rapidly tongues my shooting slit and bobs his head still humming away. My orgasm goes on and on as I continue to writhe and moan at the stimulation. He swallows my cum down and sucks harder as my dick begins to soften. I think he’s going to stop but he just keeps going until I’m frantically trying to get away from the overstimulation. Every aftershock is drawn out by his merciless mouth. When I thought I was gonna pass out from it all Cas stilled...

He moved off me in a second and with terror in his eyes flung himself off of me. I sat up and worriedly asked

“Cas?...You alright?”

He looked at me shocked and managed to stutter out

“D-Did I...Did We?...Because I, Uh?”

He turned bright red when he noticed his hard on straining against his slacks. He jumped back as I stood up and reached out to comfort him. He jerked away from me violently his blue eyes wide with fear. I drew my hands back frantically trying to calm him down

“It’s ok, It’s OKAY...I can explain everything.”

He looked up at me as I continued on

“Gabriel put you under a spell and there was no stopping you. You were too str-“

“I didn’t hurt you did I?”

He stood up with a look of concern on his face. I chuckled and said

“No you definitely didn’t hurt me..”

We both smiled awkwardly before Cas shyly asked

“So what now?”

I dropped to my knees ready to return the favor and winked

[the-voice-of-hell]

Rent is Theft, part 23

Read from the beginning here, read the previous chapter here.  Note:  My MC is a Filipina trans woman and I am not.  If you have notes on that or anything else, hit me up.

                                                      ***

      I turned on the fans, turned off any lights I’d missed before.  Don’t panic.  The quick increase in the heat was counter to what the internet said about concrete, but maybe that was just because it’s a rather thin layer of the stuff.  Nothing supernatural in that, right?

      We drank our water.  I unlashed the twine that bound the ottomans into my fake bed, so we could space our bodies out a bit more as we lay there.  I retied them into two beds, as much as I didn’t want the extra labor.  You lay on three ottomans in a row, they’ll slide apart on you over time, and your body will be unconsciously tense as you try to hold them together.  That would be more work, ultimately.

      So we were on two improvised mini-beds, three feet apart, like a Hays Code era film about a married couple.  No implied fucking in this household.  The conjugal bed is hidden in the attic, along with the gay stuff and prospering criminals and other contraband concepts.

      “Did I apologize for this yet?,” I asked.

      “Yeah, stop doing that.”  She rolled the bottle on her forehead.  The cooling effect wouldn’t last.

      “Maybe we should talk about something to take our minds off the heat.”

      “I can’t think of what.  I don’t wanna tell cute stories when it’s like this, because when I think about the story after that, I’ll think about being hot.”

      “Yeah.  I could play music.”

      “But... same thing.”

      “Oh yeah, even worse.  I know whenever I hear a song I’ll remember other stuff that was going on when I played it before.  Maybe we’ll just talk about cold things, see if we can trick our imaginations.”

      “I don’t think my imagination is that good.”

      “Alright I thought of something I can do, but will you be OK just layin’ there alone?”

      “You’ll be here with me, right?”

      “You bet.  I was gonna go on my laptop and try to get more job interviews.”

      “Good idea.  Thank you, Courtney.”

      “You don’t have to say that.”

      I got my laptop out of the living room and brought it in.  I knew running it in that heat was a bad idea, but was getting desperate.  I lay down on my belly, chin propped with a thin pillow, arms dangling over the edge of the ottoman to my compy.  I turned it on.

      It took only a little longer to start up from nothing, but once I was past the loading screens, I found performance still very laggy.  Slow background startup operations, I’m sure.  But I had a bad feeling and kept my eye glued to the bottom right of the taskbar.

      I was waiting for a specific program to load - one that monitored motherboard performance.  I wouldn’t have to open it, because once it loaded from startup, it would display the processor temp right there in thumbnail.  A useful little thing.

      The thumbnail was only part visible glowing red beneath a pop-up window from the program.  “Excessive heat alert.  Shutdown recommended.”  Shit.  That made it official.  I couldn’t afford for my computer to melt now, so I turned it off.

      “My computer won’t work.  There goes that idea.”

      “Ugh.  I’m sorry.”

      “We apologize a lot, don’t we?”

      She seemed like she wanted to turn her head to face me, but that it would be too much exercise in her current state, and gave up after the most fleeting glance.  “Sorry about that.”

      “Love you.  I’ll think of something to talk about.”

      “OK.  Just remember.”

      “Nothing that will remind you of this later.  Roger.”  I drank my warm water and pondered it.  There was another knock at the door.  Fine.

      The doorknob was as hot as a hot shower now, initially shocking to the touch, but not scorching.  I got it open.  “Deandre.  Kids.  Pretty messed up, huh?”

      Deandre said, “Yeah.  Feels like we should all get out while we can.  This can’t be safe.  What are the odds they see us if we just use the stairs, go down one more floor, and hide out in the hall?  Ain’t nobody lives on that floor.”

      Knobby asked, “Are we gonna be alright?  I’m, eh, gettin’ kinda...”

      “I don’t know guys.  You could try it, I just...  I’d hate so much for any of us to get caught now, y’know?  It makes me sick.”

      “Heat can make you sick,” said Olivia.

      “I know it,” I said.  “I say, do what feels right.  I can’t tell you what to do and I wouldn’t want to.”

      “That’s the problem.  Nothing feels right,” said Deandre.

      “Well, until you make a move, drink plenty of water and rest as much as possible.  Guy said one hundred twenty-five degrees for three hours, but that’s up there.  Shouldn’t be that bad down here.  It shouldn’t.”

      “Yeah.”

      Me and Leimomi drank more water, as best we could.  It’s hard to chug when your body is starting to cook like a hot dog.  I searched my mind in increasing desperation.

      “Erotic Grime thriller.”

      “What?  Why?,” she asked.

      “Because it was the first thing I thought of, and the less we think of that guy sexually, the better.  You won’t wanna remember this later and you won’t.”

      “Heh.  Fuck it, OK.”

      “So Grime is a fast-paced computer programming man in the fast-paced world of computer programming.  The office is abuzz with activity.  It’s crunch time.  That’s when a product is about to hit a big milestone and we’re lagging behind expectation, so we all have to work extra hours.”

      “You’re there?”

      “Naw, no thanks.  Funny I was thinking of myself as part of that world.  I never do that, these days.  Maybe it was because I’ve been looking at job listings.

      Anyway, Grime is burning the midnight oil.  He’s wearing his skinny jeans and one of those ‘communist party’ t-shirts that has Karl Marx and Lenin with lampshades on their heads and bottles in hand.”

      “Don’t know that one.  Hard to imagine.”

      “It’s a bright red t-shirt.  It shrank in the wash a little bit.  Not enough he would throw it away, but a tighter fit than he’d usually go for.  In the cold late fall weather his nipples are pressing against the cloth.”

      “Ooh.”

      “Yeah, they’re ‘green’ buildings, so management skimps on AC in summer and heat in winter.  So Grime is there, nippin’ out, but typing so fast, like Sick Boy in Hackers, green matrix code raining down across his screens.  He’ll win the day.”

      “Does he have cool sunglasses?”

      “Is that hot?”

      “We’re all too hot right now, Courtney.”

      “His midnight black wraparound shades are ink dark portals to a level of Hell that is pure ice.  I think there was one of those in Dante’s Divine Comedy.  But yeah, frost is forming on the keys.  He has to step back, lest he freeze the whole desk like a liquid nitrogen bath.”

      “I can’t imagine it.”

      “Point is, he’s sexy action cool.  And he thinks he’s alone, but he’s wrong.  A sound from several cubicles away makes him leap for the katana at his deskside.”

      “Like a ninja sword?”

      “Exactly.  They let guys have those if they have enough corporate spirit.”

      “OK.”

      “His blade flashes like blue lightning, but nobody falls to his deadly moves.  He sees a guy step into the hall.”

      “A guy?  Huh.  A guy?  Are they gonna..?  Is there a girl in this one?”

      “No way.  It’s old school slash, baby.”

      “Does that mean..?”

      “Yup.  So he sees the guy stretching and is embarrassed.  He tosses the sword into a nearby cubicle, hoping he isn’t noticed.”

      “What’s the guy look like?”

      “He’s a silver fox.  Name is Michael Haeckel, he’s like six foot four.  Not chubby like Grime but not too skinny either.  You can tell just because he’s that tall and has big hands, he’s packing *redacted*”

      “Whoa.  Is he real?  Did you used to work with him?”

      “Yeah.”

      “Is it OK to make a dirty story about somebody else?”

      “I dunno.  We’re getting broiled like baby back ribs in here.  Ethics can wait.  Anyway, Michael was kinda sleepy and started to get *redacted*”

      “Can that happen?”

      “If you’re sleepy enough and you are packing *redacted* in my story.  So the outline of *redacted* is pretty visible in his acid wash jeans, and Grime is like, whoa, shit.  He hopes he wasn’t noticed.  He lucked out.  Michael does notice his situation though and picks up a clipboard fake casual to hold over his *redacted* while he goes to say hi.

      ‘Hey Graeme,’ Michael says.  ‘Hey,’ says Grime.  They talk about work, and how other guys don’t have the dedication like they do, to work so late on crunch.  Randomly, the subject of donating to charity comes up.  All the tech boys do it for tax breaks.”

      “That’s nice.”

      “It would be better for the world if any of those pricks paid their taxes.  Michael mentions that he’s giving to some LGBT charity.  Grime says that’s cool, but wonders why Michael feels like that’s a good one.  After all, he’s married to a lady and stuff.”

      “Hm.”

      “He says he’s actually bi.  One time in college he had sex with a dude and feels like it was beautiful and nobody should be judged for love.  Grime is like, cool, but you have been with nothing else but ladies forever.  Do you still feel bi?”

      “That seems rude.”

      “So does the funky bass music starting to play out of thin air - the sounds of love are soon to come.  Michael says, ‘Yeah,’ and they have a big moment.  Sexual tension in the air so thick you could cut it.”

      “Hm.  He’s six foot six?”

      “Yup.”

      “Silver fox?  Like a furry?”

      “Sure, why not?  So the guy says, ‘Maybe my wife doesn’t mind if I do stuff sometimes,’ and Grime is like, ‘Oh shit, I’ve never been with a dude before.  Is this really happening?’  And Michael is like, take it slow, and they do.”

      “Like taking off their clothes slow and stuff, or *redacted* slow?”

      “The first one.  Michael suggests they just watch each other *redacted* for a few minutes, see how it feels.  Grime and him are alone, think it’s funny.  Why not take advantage?  They *redaaaaaaaacted*”

      “Cool.  But I can’t *redacted* myself right now.”

      “Good.  That would be unethical, maybe.  I don’t know, whatever.  So the guys are showing each other what they got, and Michael is like, ‘Damn, Graham, what you wanna do now?,’ and Grime says ‘Graeme,’ but kinda chokes on it because he’s *redacted* like it’s water in the desert.  Oh. reminds me, drink some water, babe.”  I did the same, hard as it was.

      “So,” I continued, “Grime is *redacted*  Michael has to push him back a little and say, ‘Easy there, tiger.’  And that makes Grime all sad because he was fixin’ to experience *redacted*  That thing is too magnificent.”

      “What’s it look like?”

      “It’s like a white dude’s *redacted*, y’know, all *redaaaaacted, includes missile metaphor*”

      “Wow.  Haha, his *redacted* is the bomb.”

      “True.  So Michael says he wants to *redaaaaaaaacted*”

      “What’s it feel like, for somebody to have their *redacted* on a *redacted* ?”

      “Kinda crazy, like you got two *redacted* in a wrestling match, daring each other to make a move, but they can’t.  Not without help.  So Grime grabs *redacted*  He remembers to check in with Michael, because he doesn’t want to lose his privileges.  Michael lets him know, yeah, he’s doing it too *redacted*

      So he loosens up his grip a bit, and *redaaaaaaaaaaacted*

      “Yeah.  So they’re *redacted*?”

      “Yeah, y’know *redacted*  Does that make sense?  Anyway, it feels real good.  They’re feeling it, because *redaaaacted* lightly while *redaaaacted* tightly.”

      “That was a rhyme.  You should be a rapper.”

      “Oh yeah.  That’s a good job.  Where do I interview for that one?”

      “Sorry.”  She drank more water.  “Go on.”

      “They can’t take much more of it.  *redaaacted* so they gotta step back.

      So Grime is looking at the big man’s *redacted* and feeling inadequate, feeling like a child.  The guy senses his hesitance and says, ‘I like what you got, kid.  Let me see that.’  Then he goes down to his knees, taps an office chair to suggest Grime sit down in it.  Our boy rolls into position.

      He isn’t feeling it that much, like, *redaaacted*  But Michael gives him a look, so kind and beautiful like Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Then the older guy nuzzles Grime’s *redacted*  He feels Michael’s beard on his *redacted*  It feels crazy, but he knows he can't just *redacted* because it would scratch up his *redacted*

      Then Michael *redaaacted*  Grime is lightheaded, feeling like he might *redacted* at any moment, *redaaaaaaacted*

      But then Michael relents, right as Grime is about to *redacted*  He leans back and says, ‘You wanna feel this *redacted*?’  He’s gesturing to his *redacted*  Grime is speechless.  How can he say yes?  He’s never done anything like that before.  But still, he agrees.  Sometimes you hafta jump in the deep end.”

      “Whoa.  You think Grime would take a *redacted* in the *redacted*?”

      “Probably like it better if it was *redacted* but I bet he would.  Y’know, it’s just a story though.  Grime could have two *redacted* and taste like rose water if we wanted.”

      “Two *redacted* and he can *redacted* a furry?  OK.  Tell me about it.”

      “For real?  Grime has two *redacted* now?  And I’m supposed to get real about the furry thing?”

      “You mean he wasn’t really a furry?”

      “I guess he could be.  What kind of furry do you like?  Wolf boys?  Horse boys?”

      “Um, you said he was a silver fox.  And now Grime has two *redacted* and he wants to get a *redacted* in his *redacted* for a first time.”

      “Hm.  So Grime’s *redacteds* are kinda hanging there, like *redacted* but as soon as the older guy suggests *redacted* they both *redacted*

      “Why couldn’t Grime have had two *redacted* instead of the red hands thing?”

      “You really picturing that?  Because it’s just kinda abstract to me.  Hard to call the image to mind, really.  For me.”

      “I was thinkin’ like what it would feel like to have both in my *redacted* at the same time, be all filled up like that.”

      “Damn, baby.  I’d like to see that.  But I can’t *redacted* right now.  It’s too hot.”  I took a drink.

      “I know.”

      “Before I go on, should I describe the fox *redacted* looking like a fox *redacted* or a human *redacted* that maybe has some more hairs on it?”

      “What’s a fox *redacted* look like?  Don’t do it if it’s real weird.  That’s just gross.”

      “I don’t know, but I’d imagine they look like regular dog *redacted* which are pretty fuckin’ gross.  Moving on then, the silver-furred fox man stood up to his full height, his long human-like *redacted* brushing against Grime’s *redacted*  It was time for Grime to *redacted*

      They pushed all the printers and folders and three by five cards and highlighters and shit off of the desk, and Grime sat himself there with his legs up in the air.  Fox Michael probably made a sound like a fox makes, whatever that is.”

      “A howl, probably.”

      “Probably he howled.  Sometimes a howl is a mournful sound, the baying of bloodthirsty creatures on the moors, singing how theirs is a life of pursuit, of famine and violent feast, and eternal scraping in a social order from which the only escape is death.  But for the horny fox man, the howl is of Looney Tunes-esque hubba-hubba awooga-styled lust.  He rubs Grime’s *redacted* all over with his big fox paws, giving him little scratches with his short sharp claws.  Grime finds that exciting and bites his lip.

      Then Michael *redaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacted*

      “What are Grime’s two *redacted* doing?”

      “They’re wondering why they only have three *redacted* between them and not four.”

      “Three *redacted*?  What would that be like?”

      “Three *redacted* is good when you’re rubbing them on a regular set of two, because the *redacted* go between each other, don’t butt against each other and get sore.  It’s pure sensation, like God intended.”

      “Damn.  That makes me wish I had three *redacted* Courtney.”

      “Would you also like two *redacted*?  While we’re handing out body parts, it’s OK.”

      “No, I don’t know if I could have *redacted* right.  I don’t know.”

      “It’s OK, I prefer you with *redacted*  I mean, if you have a *redacted* and three *redacted* that might be kinda hard to *redacted* without being like you’re getting kicked in the *redacted* all the time, so you have some decisions to make.”

      “I don’t know what to do.”  She seemed a little upset.

      “It’s OK, babe!  It’s just a game.”

      “Ugh, sorry.  It was just the heat.  That would be weird if I was sad about pretend *redacted*”

      “Oh good.  I love you too much, honey.”

      “I’d laugh but it’s too hot.”

      “I understand.  Do you want me to keep going?”

      “Can you?  It’s bad in here.  Real bad.”

      “We’re just trying to kill time.  How much time have we been doing this?”

      “I dunno.  Feels like hours.”

      I got up the will to look at the time on my phone.  “Oh Christ.  It’s only been eleven minutes.”  I sobbed once, before I even noticed what I was doing.

      “Don’t cry, Courtney.”

      “You’re right,” I choked it down.  “Gotta conserve my water.”  I took another drink.  “So Grime is holding his *redacted* together loosely, one palm over the *redacted* kinda *redacted* so he doesn’t *redacted* before the fox even gets started.  Michael *redaaaaacted*”

      “Uh huh.”

      “Maybe I should be doing Goldilocks and the Three Bears.”

      “Whatever’s easiest.”

      “I guess we’re already here.  And I’ll have time to get through the whole fucking Grimm Brothers catalog.”  I almost cried again.

      “It’s OK.  You can stop, and we’ll just...”

      “No, no.  I can do this.  So Michael has his *redacted* all *redacted*  It’s *redaaaaacted*  I think if Michael is basically so humanoid his *redacted* looks like a *redacted* he’s gotta have a tail and an animal head.  So his tail is wagging like a happy dog and his face is all, again, awooga awooga.  You know, like a cartoon wolf when he sees a hot chick.

      He *redaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacted*

      Meanwhile, Grime is losing his mind.  He’s insane with ecstasy, didn’t even know it was possible to feel that good.  But he can’t get it together to help out, or say something, or do anything yet.  His mind is a technicolor CG explosion, like a commercial for expensive fruit juice.  Meanwhile his grip on his own *redacteds* has firmed into a stiff claw shape, like he’s clutching a stick shift in a muscle car.

      Finally, sometime around *redacted* Grime gets his brains back.  He says, ‘*redacted*’  Michael is ready and *redacted*  Grime knows if he actually *redacted* he’s gonna *redacted* on the spot, *redaaacted*”

      “Holy shit, Courtney.”

      “So Grime knows it’s basically game over, but he doesn’t wanna go out like a bitch.  He’s gotta get Michael to *redacted* somehow.  He knows he has practically no chance, but he begs for it, hopes that’ll work.  ‘Michael, *redacted* please.  I need your *redacted* dude.’  Michael likes that, but will he do it?”

      “I don’t know.”

      “You could make that up.  No pressure.  But does he *redacted* first?”

      “Yeah, but I can’t say it like you.”

      “OK, maybe I can teach you how someday.  You can be my bard apprentice.  In the meantime, Michael felt his *redaaacted*  His mind turned inside out, his mirthful expression went slack as lust stole the blood from his brain, then his eyes bulged and nostrils flared as...  I forgot he has a fox head.  Let’s say his long pink wet tongue flopped out the side of his mouth and he rolled his muzzle around and his ears went like... helicopters or whatever.

      Just for funsies, let’s imagine *redacted*  When it’s *redacted* hitting Grime’s *redacted* he feels a thrill *redacted* and he knows he actually won.

      He gets each *redacted* in a medium firm grip and they *redacted*  For whatever reason, *redacted*  Each got *redacted*  Grime’s *redacted* was *redacted* but in his excitement, and with his *redacted* it *redacted*  A *redacted* in a magic instant, then *redacted* their *redacted* like in the fancy grocery store, where they got those little pipes that spray water on the lettuce heads.  You know what I’m talking about?  Remember seeing one of those?”

      “OK, but it’s *redacted*?”

      “Yeah, it’s Grime’s *redacted* and it’s *redacted*  He yells in joy and then sucks in his mouth and bugs his eyes.  Oops, he thinks, somebody might be around.

      Michael *redacted* hastily, but not too fast, just to avoid accidents or discomfort, and uses his tall vantage to look around over the tops of the cubicles.  There’s nobody in sight, and he says as much.  He takes a wad of tissues out of a box and dabs up the *redacted* on himself while he watches Grime recover.

      He’s not recovering fast.  When Michael *redacted* the sensation prolonged his *redacted* even more, though there wasn’t much *redacted* left to *redacted*  It was kinda pathetic, just his two *redacted* rapidly *redacted*  Michael could see Grime’s *redacted* in the crappy green lights and the way they *redacted*  Grime’s head lolled and all he could say was ‘oh man’ over and over again.”

      “Oh fox man.”

      “Good catch.  I guess Michael’s probably lapping up the *redacted* from his muzzle and chest, leaving dabbed tongue shapes on his shirt.”

      “They didn’t get naked?”

      “I don’t remember.  That’s a missed opportunity.  Coulda said what they look like naked.”

      “Fox man and two *redacted* Grime.”

      “It’s true.”  I exhaled.  It would have been a sigh but I didn’t have the strength to muster a good inhale at the beginning, just weakly deflated my shallow lungs.  I had to hork down some air a moment later to make up for it.

      “You OK, Courtney?”

      “Ugh.  Sorry.  Let’s drink more water.”

                                                        ***

   Read next chapter here.