#I think it depends on the intentions and the outcome

[justbreakonme]

I’m a writer cause I’m a manipulator, that is all.

[springcatalyst]

BELOVED, DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKED UP SIDE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE INDESCRIBABLE EFFECTS OF THE LIVES OF YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS??????????

oh babey you KNOW i do!!!!!

Sumaya is an old friend of Milo's that he'd known for quite literally forever. They grew up together, and while Sumaya had a twin, Milo did not (most fauns are born in twos), so he was always like an honorary triplet of theirs- both of them, but especially her. Wherever she was, chances were he was close behind. Eventually, though, because everything has to have an 'eventually,' something changes. It shifts the way they understand each other and in the aftereffects, promises are broken. That shift starts to seep out to other places and people and it scares him- with the threat of a consequence he does not deserve (though for a long while he believes them), he leaves.

But their friendship never really faltered, they didn't have a falling out they didn't even have a disagreement- things just... changed. Both were uncertain of what it would mean or what it even should mean. They are both missing something in the absence of the other, and both feel like they did something wrong in the way they left things. Sumaya is nostalgia personified to Milo, but she's also regret. Anybody else would blame her and they wouldn't be wrong, persay, but he can't. Her memory is bittersweet.

Diana is something similar to Julian, but they never really fractured (that, or they were fractured to begin with). They were never as close as Milo and Sumaya, by nature of the kinds of people they are, but they understood each other because they were in much the same circumstance. Their reasons were different but the end result was the same. She actually comes back later (ehehe) so she's more of a main character than others, but she's evidence of something that doesn't quite fit as it 'should' early in his arc. Then later she's a bit of meshing of past and present that he didn't want, but can't turn away. She's dangerous: not to him, but to the image he's built, to the idea of him. She knows too much. Even then, she doesn't know anything because he confides in her, she knows because she was there. For someone who runs on secrets and lies, that knowledge unsteadies him.

Ciara and Naomi are two very different people but they are both Julian's sisters so I'll group them together. They both serve as comparison and motivation (theoretically), and they're both factors in something that sours. Ciara is younger than him by about two years, she's pushy and curious and impatient and driven- she's very sweet but she's also very stubborn (all the Kil family are)- and that causes problems when Julian stands in her way. After a certain point, the choices he makes, or rather, the ones he doesn't, affect more lives than just his own. He lingers and postpones and because of the way things work here, that places Ciara on hold. She gets impatient, then frustrated, then angry as years pass. She pushes him, and it would be misleading to say she makes things happen, but she definitely plays a role.

Naomi is older than him by about a year and because of this doesn't drive him 'forward' (depending on what you think forward should look like) in the same way Ciara does, but she is involved. Naomi is quieter than Ciara, she's respectable and responsible, (and has a little bit of eldest daughter syndrome) and she generally stays in her lane to a T. That means, though, that even if she sees something that may need intervention, she will look the other way, because it's harder to get involved, easier to just let it sort itself out. Which means, naturally, that when this years-long problem arises with Julian and Ciara and a thousand other things, she takes the path of least resistance, which means convincing Julian to just essentially do what Ciara wants. Or trying to, because it doesn't work. She does something that's not quite mediating but isn't quite picking a side, either. I'm getting off topic now but she serves as an example, as an ideal, that he is not and couldn't be and doesn't want to be, but that he should be, nonetheless. She is "wouldn't it be easier?" She's "just do what you're supposed to" personified. But also, notably, she is the one person (other than Diana but, she's different) that he sees again after he leaves. It's completely chance and she doesn't recognize him (years have passed, he looks and acts completely different, she never thought she'd see him again, transgener, etc), but he gets something as close to closure as he's ever going to get by exchanging a few words with her. He does the closest thing to forgiveness that he is capable of, with her.

And Liliana has her (late) captain. Who also happens to be her father. Who also happens to not be named yet, so he's gonna be Captain Hart for now. He is belonging and family in a way that she lacks elsewhere, by nature of being a sailor and by nature of being a satyr. She looks up to him, emulates him when she can. And then he's taken from her, and right along with him, everything she wanted to be. She chases that for FUCKING ever, of course, and that itself is enough to, yaknow, irrevocably alter her, but there's something in that way that she warps in his absence. In her quest for revenge she bends the rules of who he was and who she wants to be in order to reach her goal, which means that if she were to look back, she would be less like him than she wanted. She is more isolated than he was trying to build for her, she is more deadly than he ever was, and she is less free- she doesn't sail to explore, anymore, she sails to Complete. To find and to hunt. She knows this, really. She knows that she is no longer a person he would recognize, but she can't even allow herself to acknowledge that. Everything fades away beneath that fury.

I guess I'll do one more because it's similar to above: Reiji's mother (also unnamed) does things to my brain. Her place in his life is also characterized by what the loss of it means. I've talked about her a little before but she is safety and defense, home and consistency, and then suddenly all of that is nowhere to be found. She is not dead, he doesn't mourn her like Liliana does her father, but he misses her indescribably. The loss of his flock is what really begins that pervading longing, that search for something more that he never finds. He's trying to get back a piece of what he had in them (she's just a good single person to put this on, but it's really the whole group). But also she specifically formed how he walks in the world, just by nature of being the one who primarily raised him. She's so incredibly romantic, she lives in fairy tale- good and bad. She somehow instilled in him both a deep distrust of people, as well as on omnipresent love for them, a need for them. His perspective is very black-and-white. You're good or you're not, you're friend or you're foe, you live or you die, you run or you fall. Nothing is in between, to him. It works in a pinch, but ultimately this way of thinking runs him into more uncertainty when all he is looking for is home.

[fangswbenefits]

Comfortable

Summary: Astarion walks in on you in a rather compromising situation. Naturally, he offers to help, but then you ask him to promise you something that he was not expecting…

Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav

Warnings: 18+. Astarion's POV. Fluff. Aftercare. Oral sex. Pillow humping. Innuendo. Mentions of masturbation.

Word count: 3.3k

It's a wavering sequence of whimpers that catches Astarion's attention just as he arrives at camp after a late night hunt.

The blood on non thinking creatures seldom presents itself as a decent meal, but he finds it unfair to depend exclusively on you.

The boars in the outskirts of Baldur's Gate are delectable enough to blind his hunger for a few hours – maybe a full day, if need be.

The camp seems peaceful and quiet with everyone still catching some rest after in their respective tents, and as the pale moon glows up high in the dark blue sky, he notices the dawn isn't breaking for at least a few more hours.

Maybe he can indulge in a trance to ease his mind and body after feeding, even though it's not a dire necessity.

But it seems that the night has other plans reserved for him.

His steps are light and sure, following the crescendo of sounds that seems to come from near his tent.

He would recognise that voice anywhere.

You.

As he draws near, trying to make out the origin of said whimpers, he vaguely wonders if you're having a dream.

That is the most reasonable explanation.

But then he hears what resembles a muffled groan.

A nightmare?

Instinctively, an eyebrow quirks as he approaches your tent.

And then he freezes.

Even through the obvious failed attempt at reining yourself in, he knows exactly what he heard.

His name. Muffled and barely intelligible, but his name, nonetheless.

An amused smile tugs at his lips as it dawns on him that you are indeed pleasuring yourself. Risky and unexpected, but beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Cheeky…

He could simply entertain this, and leave it to you to reach your peak on your own.

Unfortunately for him, he has just fed.

And unfortunately for you, he has every intention of interrupting your solo endeavour.

His usual cool body now flooded with the warmth and vigour that make it extremely easy not to succumb to your sweet and melodic whimpers.

As such, he tugs at the strings that hold both flaps together, successfully drawing a surprised gasp from you.

“You scared me!” 

He finds you propped up on one elbow before rushing to sit and pulling a blanket to cover yourself, a mortified look splattered across your face.

The sight in front of him is enough for the recently drunk blood to rush downwards at record speed. 

Predictable, but such is the nature of his body when it comes to you.

Flustered and quickened breaths. His senses are so sharp from the recent blood intake, that he can hear your heartbeat drumming fast in your chest.

By now, he knows you well enough.

So well, that he's sure he has just interrupted your climax.

The confirmation comes in the form of a low growl of frustration.

He almost feels sorry for you, but what crosses his mind is the offer of a moment of pleasure so great only he can provide.

“You were close.”

It isn't a question and he doesn't expect an answer.

But you're so visibly irritated that you scowl deeply. “Yes! Yes, I was. Thank you so much for interrupting.”

“My pleasure,” he retorts, knowing fully well he's about to set off a bomb if he doesn't choose his words carefully.

You have a temper he adores to test. He's used to dancing to your tune and knows exactly which strings to pull to get you riled up in ways that often lead to very enjoyable outcomes.

His cock welcomes your huff of annoyance with a faint twitch.

“Why didn’t you just… wait…” you almost cry out in sheer frustration.

He lets out a taunting laugh. “What, and miss out on all of the fun, darling?”

A dramatic pout settles your lips and it takes all of his self-control not to wipe it off your face with a kiss in an instant.

“How many did you take this time?”

It is a glaring taunt.

And your mouth drops open.

Maybe he should have eased his way in, considering the current predicament.

But the way your body is all flustered and heated from your own touch is enough to flare desire inside him. And whenever desire begins to swell inside him, the fine line between reason and pleasure begins to blur. 

Mostly because he knows he was the one on your mind when you had your fingers deep inside you.

Your eyes widen slowly, and you clutch the blanket closer to your lower half, still hiding the proof of your arousal from his prying eyes.

You don't reply at first, your pride keeping you silent.

But Astarion doesn't mind. In fact, he enjoys your resistance at first. Makes it all the more enjoyable when you finally give in.

“How many, darling?”

You frown, averting your eyes.

So stubborn…

His cock adores it.

“How many?” his tone is firmer this time and you slowly meet his eyes again.

“... two.”

He clicks his tongue, crouching before you. “Oh, darling…” 

Two fingers are not nearly enough to provide the fullness and stretch that only his cock can. But he appreciates your effort nonetheless.

It's quite adorable and enough to have his cock hardening even more.

Your fingers still glisten in the faint candlelight and he feels the sudden urge to have them in his mouth. He never tires of tasting you in more ways than one.

“You do not need to hide from me,” he says tenderly, but still not moving an inch. He wants you to feel comfortable enough under his gaze. “You've bared yourself to me many times, love.”

Still, you don't let go of the fabric, a slash of defiance crossing your face. “You took too long.”

Ah. “Did you miss me?”

You bite your lip, face softening as you nod twice.

And you were so desperate for him that you just couldn't wait?

Gods.

His cock stirs even more against his trousers at the silent realisation.

“And I am here now,” he says, dropping to his knees, as a wicked smile turns his lips. “So, allow me.”

He reaches out with his hand to tug at the fabric, silently looking for your permission.

A shaky sigh parts your lips and he spots a shiver as he pulls the blanket that keeps you from him.

His eyes drop to the sweet spot between your legs and he almost regrets having interrupted you.

Almost.

Your clit is so swollen it deliciously peeks from between your folds, parting them gently. It throbs faintly as he catches your clenching a few times, wetness dripping out.

After a moment, he manages to tear his gaze away, ignoring the twitches of protest from his cock.

He finds your half-hooded eyes. “May I?”

You hesitate at first, nearly pressing your thighs together, but he stops you with both hands on your knees, a reassuring grip that has you slowly but surely loosen up under his touch.

“You don't have to…”

No, he doesn't.

But he wants to.

In fact, he thinks he needs to.

He rubs circles along your flushed skin, wanting your full attention on him before he speaks, “I appreciate the concern, darling, but I'm impossibly hard and you look incredibly delectable.”

It's more than enough to have you yearning for more, as a surprise gasp parts your lips.

You finally nod, spreading your legs and leaning back as you settle on your elbows.

He offers a sly grin, lowering and positioning himself right where he craves to be.

But not before he eases some of the growing tension on his lower half. The blood coursing through his body is more of an inconvenience for now, and he's sure, under different circumstances, he'd have better control over this.

Or maybe not.

Maybe you're just that good for him.

You jerk slightly when his mouth draws near your slick folds.

“Wait.”

And he does, his concentration slightly shaken as he promptly scans your face for any cause for alarm.

“Just… don't leave afterwards.”

Don't leave–

Astarion's lips are so close to your clit, he has to pull back slightly so he can have a proper look at you, his hardened cock still straining against his undergarments.

“What do you mean?” he asks, perplexed. 

There is hesitance in your eyes. “You tend to leave after… like you don't want to be here with me.”

That sounds like a whiplash to him, because it is not true at all.

Your words take him by surprise  and he immediately worries he may have said or done something that could be interpreted as mixed signals.

“Darling, I–”

But you immediately shake your head. “If you can stay after… I'd appreciate it. Only you want to, of course,” you quickly add. “It doesn't feel right otherwise…”

It isn't a request. Nor a plea.

It's just what feels right.

He's done this many times to the point of instinct. It comes natural to him to please others. The aftermath, though, is something that he's also used to forgoing. The mess, the sweat, the fluids… the unnecessary and forced talk…

But you are different, aren't you?

You are not… the others.

And after all you've been through, he feels his mind nearly snap in half as he realises just how much he's still holding back with you.

Even something as simple as just staying still felt… tainted.

Slowly, he nods. 

And slowly, your lips turn into a tender smile that he's grown to adore beyond comprehension.

“I'll stay.”

You heave a deep sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

Astarion counters the impromptu detour with unmatched expertise, lowering his head and admiring just how eager your body is for him.

Before he drags his tongue along your folds, he slithers his hand down to reach for the front of his trousers, hurriedly undoing them.

It's his turn to sigh in relief as his cock is set free.

But now he misses the friction and the carpeted floor of your tent feels too rough.

His eyes roam around in search of something – anything – more comfortable.

And then he's caught off guard by your offer.

“Maybe this will help.”

A pillow.

He chuckles deviously, appreciating your creativity in moments such as these. Promptly, he takes it in his hand and positions it under him, his cock welcoming the soft surface.

“I adore that mind of yours,” he says cheekily.

You are about to voice a reply, but no word comes out when his tongue hits your entrance. 

Immediately, your hips buck and his smile never wavers.

He knows what you crave, but he will take his time even if you're already close to the edge.

After all, he's addicted to his devotion to you even if he never utters it out loud. He prefers his actions speak for themselves. Words are treacherous and deceiving. Actions speak louder.

And so he indulges in you. He indulges you, because that is what keeps him from reaching the frayed ends of his mind. 

You're what grounds him these days.

And he will ground you with him.

As such, he drags the tip along your folds, collecting your wetness and he only stops once it finds your clit.

A soft moan escapes your lips and he hopes you have it in you to keep it down so as to not wake the others. 

He locks eyes with you one last time. “Are you ready, darling?”

Your hips roll twice, but he knows you're not ready. You never are for the pleasure he offers to you so passionately. 

Another roll and he knows you're growing impatient, so he gives your clit a quick swipe of his tongue before he latches.

He doesn't begin suckling hard right away, as he needs to ensure he can steady you for what's to come. Both arms loop around your thighs and he allows his eyes to flutter shut, losing himself in you.

It amazes him how your body responds to him, and your hips try to find a desperate rhythm as if you're riding his cock.

The pillow under him provides enough friction for him to roll his own hips, eager to match your tempo.

He could feel the wetness drenching the fabric, but he can't bring himself to care.

Your hand finds his curls and he growls against your clit as you tug gently, but evidently craving more.

And more he gives you.

He's sucking more fiercely this time, taking his time to savour the swell in between his teeth. From this angle, he can feel your wetness coating his chin. He can't directly feel it, but he just knows you're clenching desperately around nothing.

Maybe he should take it slower.

Maybe he should pry you open with two of his fingers, even though you're wet enough to take a third one.

But the unexpected friction caused by the pillow is begging to edge him beyond belief.

Is it from the blood he drank? Is he just so ridiculously aroused? Why is your clit so swollen this time? Is it from his incessant suckles? 

His mind turns into haze and he decides he's not looking for any logical answers.

He simply allows his hips to move on their own accord, matching the face with each suckle.

“Astarion… Gods…” 

You're fortunate his mouth is kept busy, or he'd hurl a snarky reply. Gods have no place here. The delicacies of carnal bliss are reserved for those who tread the earth.

He's the only one who'd ever worship you, and you'd worship him right back, because that's how it's meant to be.

Precum drips from his tip at an alarming rate. He's too hard. He's too aroused. His body is seeking to be inside yours.

But he decided against it.

No.

He wants to see you unravel for him and in front of him.

His eyes open once again and he takes in the sight of your body undulating. Skin all flushed and eyes read to drop close as you near the precipice.

As always, his latch is impeccable. He never lets go and takes pride in leaving you dripping for him.

A few droplets run down his chin and dangle from it, bestowing upon him the most enticing silent praise he could ask for.

He knows you're close when your fingers close around his curls, desperately rocking your hips against him.

A low growl of approval rumbles in his chest and he's starting to struggle to keep his pace.

He has to find a way to still his hips before you reach your climax in fear you'll drag him along with you far too soon.

And so he does.

This time, he wants to see it.

He wants to see you as you come for him.

He's mostly perplexed that you found a way to muffle your moans, your shirt rolled up and captured in between your teeth, granting him the privileged view of your heaving breasts and hardened nipples.

Momentarily, his hips threaten to buck driven by pure instinct.

But he manages to hold back.

And when he's sure you're too far gone, head tilting back and legs shaking ever so slightly, does he unlatch from your clit.

He pulls back enough to witness the first sets of contractions course through your body. 

Wetness drips from his chin, and he can't tear his gaze from the mesmerising way your entrance clenches rhythmically before him.

He's felt those contractions many times. He is well aware of just how vicious and relentless they can be around his cock, never failing to draw every last drop of his cum deep inside you.

Your muffled cries and the way your hips still momentarily, are all he needs to get lost in his own pleasure again.

He props himself high enough to place his hips at the right angle, rolling them urgently against the soft fabric of the pillow.

He's so close… so deliciously close.

Your taste lingers on his tongue and the vision of you still writhing under him holds his gaze almost painfully.

Your fingers ease on his curls and he feels the familiar tightening of his balls warning him that he's about to reach the point of no return. 

It comes and overtakes his body so violently his mind blanks for a brief moment, as his mouth drops open.

He wants to groan and growl and hiss, but no sound comes out.

The friction is so overwhelming, he can't help but to lose balance, his lips finding your swollen clit once again.

And just like before, he latches instinctively and you try to jerk away from him, definitely being hit with a sting of oversensitivity. 

He comes undone, suckling on you harder than ever before.

Ropes of cum spill from him rhythmically, his own contractions taking over. He can feel the fabric underneath him drench with each thrust, and he vaguely wonders how much of it he still has left in him.

Your clit is now the only thing grounding him as he rides out his climax and, in the far corner of his hazy mind, he's thankful that you eased into him once again, granting him the solace he is seeking so desperately.

There's only so much he can withstand as his senses are flooded with overwhelming pleasure, and he finds himself unlatching and almost slumping against your lower abdomen.

He's spent.

Utterly spent.

He thinks he hears a tender giggle, but maybe it's simply his mind playing tricks on him.

With effort, he hoists himself along your body, collapsing, the side of his face resting against your stomach.

He wants to say something, but he's rendered silent by the aftershock of his climax.

And that's when he feels your fingers again, raking along his scalp and through unruly curls. 

“Are you leaving?”

He says nothing.

Your fingertips work their magic along his skin and he's sure you can lull him into a trance if you so wished. 

You're too powerful and he's too in love with you to care.

“Astarion.”

Your voice is low and sweet and he hums in return, arm wrapped around your waist.

“Can we stay like this for a while?”

Who's he to deny you of it? Or himself?

He's sweaty and his cock drenched in cum and precum and you're a mess yourself. Hardly the epitome of romance.

Or maybe he's wrong because when you bring a soft piece of cloth to his temple and drag it along his face, he suddenly gets it.

He finally understands why you want him to stay.

Why it makes sense.

His eyes flutter shut as he basks in your tenderness and adoration. 

You hum a soft tune under your breath, cleaning him up.

Face and neck first.

“Can you shift higher?” you ask.

He realises your intentions and lifts his head to stare at you.

“You don't have to.”

All you do is offer him a smile. Your smile. “I want to. Allow me, lover.”

No one has ever taken care of him. No one has ever bothered to. Not until you. 

He silently does what you asked, too stunned to come up with a clever tease.

His eyes flutter shut in what comes close to embarrassment. For some reason, he feels more exposed than ever when you wrap the cloth around his cock.

“Tell me if it gets too much,” you say, your voice but a whisper.

He immediately shakes his head. “Not with you.”

A hiss parts his lips as you tenderly take care of him.

Astarion rests his head just above your breast and 

“Do you wish to talk?” he asks.

Your lips find their way through his damp curls, placing a kiss atop his head.

“Do you want to?”

He chuckles, feeling his cock soften in your hand – definitely a first. “I fear I'm too drained to do so.”

“Silence it is,” you say and he feels your warm breath against his skin.

Not just any silence.

Comfortable silence.

The rare type old romance books mention in passing and that many seek to no avail.

But he's found it because he's found you.

Masterlist

[writingwithcolor]

Not all Second-Language Speakers are Made Equal.

@waltzshouldbewriting asked:

Hello! I’m writing a story that features a character who’s first language is not English. He’s East African, specifically from Nairobi, Kenya, and is pretty fluent in English but it’s not his primary language, and he grew up speaking Swahili first. I’m struggling to figure out if it’s appropriate or in character to show him forgetting English words or grammar. From what I’ve researched, English is commonly spoken in Nairobi, but it wouldn’t be what was most spoken in his home. For context, this is an action/superhero type story, so he (and other characters) are often getting tired, stressed, and emotional. He also speaks more than two languages, so it makes sense to me that it would be easier to get confused, especially in a language that wasn’t his first. But I’m worried about ending up into stereotypes or tropes. For additional context: I’m monolingual, I’ve tried to learn a second language and it’s hard. A lot of how I’m approaching this comes from my own challenges correctly speaking my own, first and only language.

Diversity in Second-Language English

You seem to have an underlying assumption that second language acquisition happens the same for everyone. 

The way your character speaks English depends on so many unknown factors: 

Where does your story take place? You mention other characters; are they also Kenyan, or are they all from different countries?

Assuming the setting is not Kenya, is English the dominant language of your setting? 

How long has your character lived in Kenya vs. where he is now? 

What are his parents’ occupations? 

What level of schooling did he reach in Nairobi before emigrating? 

What type of school(s) did he go to, public or private? Private is more likely than you think. 

Did his schooling follow the national curriculum structure or a British one? Depends on school type and time period. 

Does he have familiarity with Kenyan English, or only the British English taught in school? 

Is this a contemporary setting with internet and social media?

I bring up this list not with the expectation that you should have had all of this in your ask, but to show you that second language acquisition of English, postcolonial global English acquisition in particular, is complex. 

My wording is also intentional: the way your character speaks English. To me, exploring how his background affects what his English specifically looks like is far more culturally interesting to me than deciding whether it makes him Good or Bad at the language. 

L2 Acquisition and Fluency

But let’s talk about fluency anyway: how expressive the individual is in this language, and adherence to fundamental structural rules of the language.

Fun fact: Japanese is my first language. The language I’m more fluent in today? English. Don’t assume that an ESL individual will be less fluent in English compared to their L1 counterparts on the basis that 1) it’s their second language, or 2) they don’t speak English at home. 

There’s even a word for this—circumstantial bilingualism, where a second language is acquired by necessity due to an individual’s environment. The mechanisms of learning and outcomes are completely different. 

You said you tried learning a second language and it was hard. You cannot compare circumstantial bilingualism to a monolingual speaker’s attempts to electively learn a second language. 

Motivations?

I understand that your motivation for giving this character difficulties with English is your own personal experience. However, there are completely different social factors at play.

The judgments made towards a native speaker forgetting words or using grammar differently are rooted in ableism and classism (that the speaker must be poor, uneducated, or unintelligent). That alone is a hefty subject to cover. And I trust you to be able to cover that!

But on top of that, for a second language speaker, it’s racism and xenophobia, which often lend themselves to their own ableist or classist assumptions (that those of the speaker’s race/ethnicity must be collectively unintelligent, that they are uneducated or low class due to the occupations where they could find work, or conversely that they are snobby and isolationist and can't be bothered to learn a new language). Intersections, intersections.

If you want to explore your experiences in your writing, give a monolingual English speaker in your cast a learning disability or some other difficulty learning language, whatever you most relate with. And sure, multilingual folks can occasionally forget words like anyone else does, or think of a word in one language and take a second to come up with it in the other language. But do not assume that multilinguals, immigrants, or multiethnic individuals inherently struggle with English or with multiple languages just because you do.

~ Rina

[skilledmeowjesty]

Pairing: Xavier x afab MC

Genre: Smut

Rating: 18+

Word count: 2,420

Tags: slight exhibitionism, oral (MC receiving), unprotected

Content: this is basically a rewrite of the date Fluffy Trap options/outcome, so while it's not required to have that card, this would make more sense if you have

AN: while I've been writing fanfic for over a decade, this is my first attempt at writing an X Reader fic, and it's my first fic not in past tense, so apologies ahead of time if there's issues

"Your final gift is right here"

Azul eyes bore into yours, and for a split second, you freeze, words caught in your throat

This wasn't going as planned

The original plan was simple, just payback for dozens of pranks you had endured at his hands, getting an embarrassing photo as revenge for what he'd been putting you through the past few weeks

Not this

“Is it you, Mr. Bunny Butler?” You ask in retort, slight tease in your tone, even as your heart pounded away so hard you were sure he could hear it

He sat there, leaning back on his arms, watching you intently, his entire focus on you alone

He looked ridiculous and admittedly cute in his bunny butler costume, the bunny headband giving him an innocent charm, looking harmless, but you knew better, not about to fall for the false sense of security, he was a wolf in a bunny disguise, the intensity of his ocean eyes making goosebumps cover your skin

“Will you unwrap your present if I say yes?” He asks then in reply, and once again, your thoughts come to a complete halt

This wasn't going as planned

You lean forward from your place next to him, your hand coming out, giving his tie a soft tap, which Xaiver reacts by pulling back, his hand gently pushing yours away

“What do you want?” he asks this time, the telltale sign of his blush flushing his cheeks, his ears turning deep crimson as his eyes dart down to your bottom lip that you bit gently out of nerves

You blink, trying to think of a quick comeback, something that would fluster him, embarrass him, a proper payback for messing with you for as long as he had been

But, it was hard, the intensity of his gaze, the outfit he wore, the entire air he gave off making your thoughts run ramped, but not able to focus on anything outside of just how handsome he looked, unable to think of anything besides the pull you felt by his very presence in that moment

This wasn't going as planned

‘Call me Master', ‘Sing a song', both of these replies came to mind, but neither are actually said, a single word response tumbles from your lips

“You”

In the blink of an eye, Xavier moves, sitting up, his fingers weaving through your hair as his hand cups the back of your head, his mouth on yours instantly

You let out a startled moan, which he swallows, his body pushing yours back, lying you down on your back, hovering over you, his free arm supporting his weight as his tongue brushed over your lips

This wasn't going as planned

Desperately, you find your fingers clutching into the ends of his butler's vest, tight, holding onto his clothing as if your life depended on it, opening his mouth to him at his silent yet demanding request

Xavier wastes no time, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hand moving from the back of your head to your thigh, pulling to encourage you to wrap your leg around him

This wasn't going as planned

You do as he asks, both your legs snaking around his waist as he shifts to lie directly over you, and you pull away from his intoxicating kiss to gasp when his hips roll down onto yours in the new position, causing Xavier to shift his mouth to your neck, his teeth gently grazing over your skin as he breathes his next words out

“Is this really what you want?” he asks, his tone already husky, dripping with arousal, and the desire in his voice makes your breath catch in your throat, your heart pounding harshly in your chest as his hand moves further up your thigh, forward towards your top, his glove covered fingers stopping just before entering the whim of your shirt

You knew he was asking permission to go further, even as forward as he was being, he still seemed to want to respect whatever line you decided to draw between you two, but at that very moment, there was no line, and you didn't want him to stop, to hold back at all

This wasn't going as planned

Instead of replying with words, your hands release their death grip on his vest to slowly begin unbuttoning it, and Xavier took at as a ‘yes’

Once again, he rolled his hips down against your own, and you could feel the bulge of his growing arousal press against the dampness of your own, another breathy gasp escaping you

This was so different than what you imagined. Of course you thought about it before, having held a silent flame for him for quite some time, you had imagined countless times what your first kiss might be like, what his body would feel like pressed against your own, but nothing could have prepared you to the reality of it, his hot breath against your skin, the skill of his fingers as they explored under your shirt, the bulk of his frame and how strong his body felt when pressed so prominently against your own, it's stole your very breath away

This wasn't going as planned, but, you didn't really mind

When his hands finally made it up to your bra from under your shirt, he pushed the offending fabric up, the cool of the leather covering his fingers as they pinched lightly on your nipples seemed to heighten the sensation, all while his lips danced against your neck with a mix of kisses and soft bites, knowing you'd have marks on your skin when this was all over, and that thought made you unconsciously clench, your body suddenly feeling empty, void, wanting him inside you already

The fact you two were still on the floor of the photo studio didn't even cross your mind, your thoughts completely filled with Xavier alone, hyper focused on the outline of his bulge as he continuously ground down against you, able to feel some of his size through the fabric of his trousers, but it still wasn't enough

Your fingers finally unbuttoned both his vest and his shirt, and so your hands move to explore the expands of his muscular chest, roaming over his frame before your fingers moved to the waistband of his pants, all while Xavier kept up his own assault on your breasts and neck

When you started to fumble with his belt, he pulled back entirely, impatience getting the better of him, he couldn't seem to wait any longer, yanking off his top before moving to remove his belt, looking down at you with an expression you've never seen on him before

The normally laidback and tired Xavier had a fire in his eyes, with determination you'd never seen outside of an intense battle, his breathing labored as he finally finished unbuttoning his pants

You could see the way his blush flushed over his torso, his hands moving then to grip the waistband of your pants, and he pulled them down in one single swoop, practically tearing the clothing off of you, leaving you in only your underwear

Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, your shirt and bra already pushed up by him previously, leaving your breasts exposed as your greedy lungs tried to gulp in as much air as possible, but it wasn't enough

You weren't sure that in that moment, any amount would be enough

Without a single word, he bent down again, his lips finding their home in between your breasts, a trail of kisses moving down, over your navel, to your hips, lower and lower until his face was rested comfortably between your thighs

When his lips pressed against your cloth covered folds, you gasped, before moving to bite the back of your hand to avoid making too much noise

But being quiet was impossible, especially when he moved the fabric of your panties to the side to lap at your dripping arousal directly, his skilled tongue exploring and moving with purpose, causing your hips to shake almost uncontrollably, his name gasped out, half muffled against your hand as your tried your hardest to keep quiet but to no avail

This was definitely unexpected, his mouth moving with precision, and you could feel yourself being pushed closer and closer to your own undoing, his tongue flicking over your clit before moving to dip in and out of you in a way that left you seeing stars, it was as if he knew your body already, knew what would make you weak and leave you panting even though it was the first time you two did anything remotely similar

Darker thoughts creeped in then, his expertise in making your hips shake so violently for him so quickly giving you the sneaking suspicion he'd had way more experience than most, and while it wasn't your first experience yourself, you couldn't push down the burning jealousy that came with the thought

That was quickly forgotten, though, when he introduced his fingers, and you felt him insert two into you to match the movement of his tongue, feeling his bare skin as he had removed his gloves burned, and you quickly lost all thought

You threw your head back, your hand leaving your mouth to weave into his hair, your hips canting and rolling into his mouth, his name repeatedly leaving your lips like a mantra as you felt your undoing inching closer and closer

“I'm-” you give voice to warning, but Xavier only replies by redoubling his efforts, the tightly coiled string snapping as you ride out the intensity of your orgasm, his tongue not relenting in its movements

Gasping, desperately you tug at his hair, your next words groaned out as you look down at him

“W-Wait!” You moan, and he finally pulls back, meeting your gaze with that same fire, and you felt your heart skip a beat

He waits for you patiently, his hand wiping your arousal off his lips, and you find it suddenly difficult to think, let alone speak

“I-” you pause, trying desperately to catch your breath, your chest still heaving, your blood rushing intently through your veins from your orgasm, your skin burning as if caught aflame

“I want you” you finally manage to get out, and Xavier gives a single nod, pushing his pants and boxers down entirely to free his length before his hands found your hips

Your mouth went dry as you look at him, sitting back on his knees, shirtless, flushed, his cock standing tall, proud, the thickness and length much more than you could have imagined, the size you felt while it was clothed behind his pants was nothing in comparison to the reality

“Understood” he just says, before pulling you towards him, and pushing his way into your body in one thrust

You gasp at the feeling of him filling you entirely, his length filling every inch of you in a way that left you seeing stars, the angle perfectly hitting your g-spot, and you once against lost your breath

He doesn't move at first, just leaning over you, his hands still holding tightly onto your hips, his mouth coming closer to your own as he breathes out his next words against your lips

“Hold onto me” he instructs, and you immediately circle your arms around his neck, pressing your forehead to his as finally, he starts to thrust

“Ah!” You immediately yell, louder than intended, and his mouth crashes into yours to silence you, once again swallowing your moans as he picks up pace, and you try your hardest to keep your voice down, but it was proving to be incredibly difficult when each thrust was angled just right it was all but impossible to hold back your gasps

You were reminded, once again, that regardless of how laidback Xavier was, he was incredibly fit, incredibly strong, and in that moment, he seemed to be using all of his power to leave you a puddle of lust and want under him, his thrusts pushing into you with such precision, such force, that you could feel your second orgasm building almost instantly

Your hands move to his back, fingernails digging into his skin, unable to hold back, and he groans against your mouth at the sting

He pulls back enough to rest his forehead to yours, and you find yourself biting down hard on your bottom lip, trying to keep quiet, not not yell his name out when it was the only thing you could think of doing, your thoughts completely filled by him and him alone

“You don't know how long I've waited for this” he breathes, his eyes boring into yours. You feel yourself clench around him subconsciously at the fact he felt the same, that you had both imagined each other's kiss, touch, bodies

“So tight” he groans under his breath, wincing

His hands tightening their hold on your hips as he increases his pace, continuing, “-for you. How many lifetimes I've waited…” the emotions in his eyes shifting to that of longing as he brushes his lips to yours, his tone vulnerable

“X-Xavier..?” You ask in a gasp, trying to speak but it was impossible, not when he continued to pound into you, filling every inch, taking over every sense, and you could feel your second orgasm inches away, your nails continuing their path down his back

Reading your body perfectly, and knowing you were so close to coming undone, Xavier moves his lips to the cuff of your ear, breathing his next words in a hot whisper

“I've loved you for centuries” he confesses, and it send you over the edge, your climax crashing over you hard, so much more intense than your first, your legs wrapping around and holding him to you in a death grip

Your heart pounded so loudly in your ears, it was hard to focus on anything in that moment, vaguely able to make out Xavier moaning your name, barely registering how tightly he held your hips in a way that was sure to leave bruises as he continued to thrust into you as he barreled towards his own end, only focusing on the feeling him of releasing inside of you

Chest heaving, you were left speechless, but he didn't speak either, just giving a soft smile, before gently kissing your forehead

This didn't go as planned, and you couldn't be happier that it didn't

______________

Lemme know y'all's thoughts 👀

[howtofightwrite]

What is the difference between fencing and actual sword fighting, exactly? If I were to throw an olympic fencer against a master swordsperson, what would the most likely outcome of such a fight be?

The first and most obvious answer is that only one of these individuals is trained for combat.

The second answer is that only one of them uses (and trains with intent to use) a real weapon.

I’m going to assume this question revolves around an Olympic fencer dueling with a master swordsman with a live weapon and not in accordance with Olympic fencing rules. An Olympic fencer’s best chance at winning is a bout with a modern epee/saber under Olympic fencing rules and it’s also the case where (probably) no one dies or is gravely injured.

Olympic fencing is a sport. As a result of its evolution, it’s pretty much unrecognizable as even a martial form today and, in pursuit of the new requirements for winning, has divested itself of the weapon aspect. While much of the terminology remains the same, the key difference to grasp about Olympic fencers is that they’re not trained to fence around the idea that the sword in their hand is a dangerous weapon (because it isn’t.) In fact, the ultimate goal of winning in their sport (score points) is hindered by that mentality. To the Olympic fencer, it doesn’t matter if they get hit so long as they score first and have right of way when they do. If those at the top of the sport were handed a real historical epee, told to fence, and changed nothing in their approach, the end result would be a double suicide. (Which is ironic because that’s one of the reasons why the epee was restricted historically. When it came to dueling, it was a little too efficient.)

There is no caution here because there doesn’t need to be. Tactics and techniques which will cause a fencer to commit suicide against an opponent with a live blade work exceptionally well once the risk of death is off the table.

This isn’t just restricted to Olympic fencing. If you take any martial art that has transitioned to a sport and put the practitioner up against someone who kills people for a living, even if they are one of the best in their field, they will be at an inherent disadvantage. The requirements for winning according to the sport’s rules are vastly different from the requirements for winning in a life or death situation.

And that’s just the first hurdle.

The next hurdle is the weapon itself.

Duels are specifically between weapons of the same type. This rule is meant to level the playing field and ensure the duel is decided on “skill” rather than weapon advantage. Depending on their point of origin (for the purpose of this question, I’m assuming European) a master swordsman would have been familiar with and likely trained in several different sword styles, depending on era would be a master of their own school or in the employ of a noble house. If you need a comparable profession for a master duelist, think of them like lawyers. Except, the victory was decided by skill with a blade rather than a compelling argument. (We could say that skill with a blade is a compelling argument, but I digress.) One doesn’t get to be a master swordsman until after many years of study with the blade and victories under their belt. Depending on the era of history, the duel requirements of the duel could be anywhere between armored or unarmored, to first blood or to the death, and cover a variety of different swords, each with their own developed styles (and that is styles plural.)

Our Olympic fencer will be fucked by varying degrees depending on the live blade in question but, make no mistake, they’ll be pretty much fucked by any option picked. Running counter to their ubiquitous nature in popular culture, swords are not one size fits all. Outside of common principles there’s almost no training crossover. Every sword handles differently. These variations include length of the blade, length of the hilt, location of the crossguard, the weapon’s weight, the weapon’s weight distribution, the location of its balance point, whether it is primarily used with one hand or two, whether it is primarily a weapon for thrusting (the rapier) or cutting (the saber,) etc. Their grip would be off, and  probably wouldn’t be able to hold the sword properly.

The modern version of a fencing “sword” is not equivalent to any of these. Their closest stylistic match up in terms of inherited movement is the 19th century epee, but we’re still miles apart.

Then there’s the mentality issue.

The Olympic fencer hasn’t trained around the idea that death or major injury are accidental. Possible, yes, a risk, yes, but in the same way they are for any other sport. These are surprise, tragic occurrences and not part of regular bouts. For reference, in terms of the dangers of physical contact, a modern fencer faces less risk than a football player. For the master swordsman, the opposite is true. There is no variant of historical dueling which doesn’t risk death in some capacity, whether that’s a confirmed death on the dueling field itself or from an injury or infection later. Those historical circumstances where you see individuals dueling topless is (ironically) for practical reasons and not titillation. Many duelists, victorious or not, died from infection after cloth or other detritus got into their wounds. In this way, our modern Olympic fencer is less prepared than a duelist of average skill, much less a master.

Is the Olympic fencer ready to put their life and body on the line? To risk death, permanent injury, a potential blinding in one eye, in a bout that, at best, involves zero physical protection? I’m not sure. Probably not off the cuff. It requires a different mindset.

Are they ready to inflict damage on another person? Are they ready to kill another person? And even if they’re ready, are they willing to? Are they resolved to? Are they ready to risk their own life in pursuit of it?

The Olympic fencer is on the starting line with these questions.

The Master Swordsman has already answered them.

One of the difficult aspects about writing violence and characters who practice martial disciplines with intent to exercise those skills is internalizing the risks involved and ensuring their a natural part of your character’s mindset and their approach to combat.

Fiction is an illusion. Your narrative’s world is as real as you, the author, choose to make it. Characters are immortal, have infinite stamina, possess skill with every weapon, are unbeatable unless you choose otherwise. Regardless of reality, if you choose to make an Olympic fencer and a Master Swordsman fight exactly the same way with the same skill set, that’s how it is.

I’ve seen plenty of published authors treat swords as universal and modern Olympic fencing like it lends their character any real martial skills. (I mean, beyond excellent conditioning.) You can do it and get away with it if that’s what you want. Personally, I find it less interesting because it cheats the character out of their growth. Also, you don’t need to lean into that approach for “Girls Can Fight” or as a way for a female character to gain combat skills because there were female fencers who trained on the blade.

Ways for the Olympic fencer to win:

Dumb luck.

Yeah. That’s it.

The Master Swordsman should knock the blade out of their hand, take the Olympic fencer under their wing as their apprentice, and wander the world together solving crimes.

10/10.

-Michi

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

[merakiui]

wait,,, i think i understand malleus's appeal (i say for the nth time, but please hear me out!!!!)

mal is commissioning the most talented artists in all of briar valley to make elegant marble sculptures, watercolor paintings, portraits, etc of you and he worships them with everything he's got. the artists have to be extremely careful and meticulous because if they portray you in a way that offends you or malleus they're being incinerated on the spot. T_T luckily, you often prevent this outcome by appreciating the artist's efforts by honestly expressing your approval for the parts that are indeed praiseworthy, thereby sparing the poor soul. it takes some convincing, but malleus soon comes to see the beauty he neglected to notice before, even if he still swears they got your eyes wrong by a very slight, minuscule detail.

the two of you fuck in the castle gardens. this is sacrosanct. if you ever want to be taken anywhere else that isn't in the bedroom, he'll send everyone away so the two of you are afforded true privacy. also, malleus has this habit where he cups your tummy with his palm so he can feel his dick(s) pressing up and bulging against your belly!!!! he handles you so sweetly and gently AND THE TWO OF YOU ARE SO IN LOVE AAAAAAAAAAA.

he also tends to hover. a lot. he likes being near you, but sometimes if you're doing something and he's not occupied he'll just,,,, tower over you like a second shadow. he doesn't mind the silence, but then he also doesn't realize he hovers. the hovering gets really bad and even more habitual when or if you're pregnant. ;;;; he cannot be away from you for one second; he has to be by your side at all times.

lots of kisses to the top of your hand. lots of tender kisses to your lips. they always feel so chaste and fleeting; he just likes to snag a kiss every now and then hehe. it recharges him. <3 but then also lots of slow, deep kisses stolen in shadowed halls, where he's leaning down and tilting your head to meet his mouth at an angle, and he rests his hand on your waist to pull you flush against him.

if you're ever sad, he's sad. the whole castle gets this incredibly gloomy feeling and depending on the level of sadness it may even be felt over briar valley. ^^;;; similarly, when you're happy he's happy. he doesn't need anything else, for he already has everything he could ever want (you).

he's a really good listener. the type who never zones out while you're talking and he listens so intently to everything you say. he will gladly sit and listen to you rant or vent or excitedly ramble about all manner of things. he thinks your enthusiasm is very attractive. of course, if you're venting, he's ready to get rid of the thing or person causing you such anguish. think the meme of "is the sun bothering you, my beloved?" with the person pointing the gun at the sun.

this is one of the many dynamics you likely have with mal:

[cocklessboy]

So here's the thing about having a post break containment on tumblr: if you make a mistake in the original post, there's absolutely fucking nothing you can do about it.

The people reblogging once you realize your mistake aren't reblogging it from your blog. They're reblogging it from someone you never even knew existed. If you edit the original, it does not affect the copies already being passed around.

You can make an addition to the post with a correction! But here's the thing. Posts tend to break containment if they are tagged and people see it in the tags they follow. But reblogs don't appear in tags. Only original posts do. So your addition will only be reblogged by people who follow you, and it's pretty rare for a post with a correction added in a reblog to break containment in the same way as the original.

So you wind up getting a lot of reblogs with angry comments about how you're wrong (and that's if they're being polite - the less polite ones will attack you rather viciously, which is not something I would wish on anyone). And even if you didn't make a mistake, if there's something you didn't make clear enough for Tumblr Reading Comprehension™️, you'll wind up inundated with angry comments from people who missed the point, and it's too late to go back and adjust your wording to make it clearer.

(That's why I'm making a new post for this instead of responding to the comments I got on the post in question, by the way. I'm hoping some of the same people who spread around the original might spot this one in the tags and share it around as well.)

So what is this about? I recently made a post about how a friend was worried that I was addicted to my ADHD meds purely because I said I look forward to taking them and they bring me joy.

The purpose of that post was:

Something bringing you joy doesn't necessarily make it addictive. (For fuck's sake stop being afraid of pleasure.)

Even if something is addictive, that's not inherently harmful.

Don't be afraid to take your meds just because they might be addictive. If they help you more than they harm you, take them.

I also made a comment about how my ADHD meds aren't addictive anyway. This is the point people have been pouncing on me about. So allow me to explain where that assertion came from.

My psychiatrist, an ADHD specialist who manages my meds: I know you're nervous about addiction and tolerance to meds, but don't worry. If you have ADHD, methylphenidate is not physically addictive.

My GP, who I got a second opinion from out of nervousness: Yup, your psychiatrist is right. You don't need to be afraid to take these. Take them as directed and you will not form a physical dependence on them. If you notice them getting less effective with time, though, you can always just take a break from them to remove any tolerance.

Me, after a year and a half of taking these meds: Yup, no addiction here. I guess my doctors were right.

So here we are. Two doctors and my own personal experience have assured me that ADHD meds are not something to be afraid of. Yet I keep seeing people afraid to take their meds because they're afraid of dependence. So why don't I do a nice thing in this post of mine and reassure my fellow gremlin-brained tumblrs that their meds are perfectly safe to take!

And to be fair, I've gotten quite a few reblogs with tags and additions and comments saying thank you, I was afraid to take my meds, even though they help me, but now I'm reassured that I shouldn't be scared.

And I think that's a positive outcome.

On the other hand, I'm getting some very angry comments from some people who seem to think I'm attempting to spread a vicious, intentional lie claiming that people with ADHD are immune to stimulant addiction and that I'm going to do all kinds of harm, presumably on purpose, because there's nothing I enjoy more than ruining other people's lives! 🙌

I would assume that anyone who thought about this for more than three seconds would realize that's not the case, but this is tumblr.

I've gotten angry rants ranging from "this author you've never heard of wrote a book where he defined addiction as inherently harmful, and therefore you're harming people by saying being addicted to something is not inherently bad!" to "STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATION!!!" to "OP is making statements that are incompatible with reality!" and folks? I'm real fucking tired of it.

Is it possible that my doctors are wrong? Of course! Doctors get things wrong all the time, especially when it comes to stuff like ADHD! But yelling at me from across the internet and accusing me of lying is not helpful.

There is nothing I can do about the original post. I can reblog it with an addition clarifying that yes, everyone is capable of becoming psychologically dependent on basically anything in a way that would be considered addiction, and yes, that includes ADHD people and their meds.

To be clear, this does NOT contradict the intent of my original post: that ADHD meds are good, you should take them, medication making you feel good is nothing to fear, pleasure is not the same as addiction, addiction is not inherently dangerous, and according to my doctors, who are fallible human beings but my most trusted source of information as of the writing of that post, ADHD meds are not physically addictive - as in, your BODY will not become dependent on them to function. This is the definition of "addiction" I had in mind when I wrote that post - and I think in a lot of cases the thing upsetting people is that we don't even actually disagree on what we're trying to say, but there was a miscommunication in terms of what I actually meant.

If I could go back and edit that original post and have it change everywhere it's been reblogged, I absolutely would. I would clarify where my information was coming from and what definition of "addiction" I intended, and reiterate that even if something can cause physical dependence, that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't take it.

But I can't. That post is out there now and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Keep this in mind as you go forward in your tumblr journey, friends. If you come across a semi-popular post with a mistake in it, you can bet every bit of your ass that OP has heard about it many, many times already, probably in very impolite terms, and there is nothing they can do about the original post. Unless they're a massively popular blog, a reblog with an addition or correction will not be seen by the people spreading around the original.

And for fuck's sake, stop assuming ill intent on the part of people who say something incorrect online. There are people out there who intentionally spread misinformation, but those people are rare, and usually trying to get you to not vote democrat in US elections, not trying to encourage you to take your fucking meds. If you see a mistake, it's probably an honest one, and if you really want to correct it, be a decent fucking human being, be polite and kind, and try assuming good intentions on the part of the person who said it.

The person telling you to take your meds is not your fucking enemy.

Oh, and do me a favor and reblog this, please. I actually have very few followers so no one will see it if it doesn't get reblogged. Thank you.

[buwheal]

[You've Got Mail!]

You can now send your favorite salesman emails!! YAY!!

Here's some rules and information about the askbox.

First and foremost;

I try to answer as many asks as I can, but I will not answer every single one. Sometimes I just cant do anything with it that will work realistically with the perimeters of the world, and I apologize!! Its nothing against you guys!!

(Unless you break the rules ofc.)

So if you dont see yours after a long while, it’s probably something that wont work, sorry! You can always send more than one ask whenever and see if that one works instead!

Besides that, here’s the rest of what you need to know!

[RULES] :

Spamton physically PRINTS OUT each "email", so dont send asks that have a physical interaction. Sorry! Thats just how i decided to set up the world/situation, and is not really anything against you guys :-)

(more of a request than a rule tbh) Preferably try to send real questions or statements. most joke asks are funny, but are surprisingly hard to create an in character response for. You can still send joke asks if you really want to, just dont expect an answer X-P

I know he may be a personification of spam emails... BUT DONT SPAM!!! I mean it! It clogs the askbox and is a real pain. You can send him more than one ask, though, as long as you arent repetitively sending a ton in a short burst!!

Dont be sexual or romantic, please! Even "As a joke". I dont like Spamton like that and it makes me uncomfortable, plus I can't really answer that in character in a way that wouldnt provoke more of that. Thank you!!

Be respectful and patient!! I am just one person doing everything, lol, and this got far more popular than anticipated, so i will take a long time. I try my best to get at least one out every other day but i'll need breaks eventually!!!

I cannot spawn or give/spawn/materialize things for/to Spamton if you ask because of the way it’s set up. You are really just lines of text from a computer to Spamton, BUT... You can still do a lot if you think outside the box. or,, errr,, outside the computer. Kind of. Your words and your actions affect him and his reactions to you, so word it correctly and you can get him to do something or say something. Hes not stupid though, and he CAN usually tell when your intentions are... less.. than good.

[INFORMATION] :

[YGM!] is technically an AU!!! not only do the events of the game not occur, but this is also set before then!

Asks are put out one a day, regardless if i have more than one, UNLESS i need to connect two(or more) to complete one event.

I am one person doing every ask and every unique frame of art, so expect 1 ask (If youre lucky, two) maybe every other day Monday-Friday depending on my workload per day. I have weekends off so more asks, around 2-3, CAN (but usually arent) be done for future use.

This is just for fun!! I am using the askbox to exercise my drawing consistency, Spamton's personality, and the way he speaks and responds to different situations! This is a way I am using to improve my understanding of him as a character, so it wont be always consistent as I am growing and learning!

Just a little disclaimer, he WILL be mean. He is a sour, nasty, grumpy, bastard and I am absolutely not opposed to him responding as such. Just keep that in mind when sending an ask if you dont want that!

If you want a common outcome, talk to other people about it! go crazy! I dont mind long threads on my posts if you want to create a plan. Infact, I can even help and tell you things occasionally!!

What you say to him DOES and WILL affect the way he responds. Trust is lost far easier than it is gained, so keep this in mind. It is possible to regain his trust, but still hard. He is not a trusting person to begin with and being mean certainly doesnt help. BUT.. I am not opposed to being mean. Infact, they are quite fun to do. Either way is entertaining for me, so do as you will. YOU can choose to hurt or help him.

Using tone tags, while not required, are really helpful and assist me in understanding the intention in your ask if you think it may be interpreted another way! (i.e. sarcasm) :-)!!

I pick and choose asks depending on his situation, or if i have a good idea for a response, so you may need to wait a bit before i can get to yours!! Ones that i have an idea for take priority, especially when its to progress a scene. Or, alternatively, i am saving your ask for something i have planned.

I WILL reuse frames and poses to get these out faster and for my convienence :-) especially for the frames where there is no need to change his pose! So like.. dont think too hard about it lol.

Also, i prefer if you specify if the ask is for me /or/ Spamton. I do still do normal asks, lol. If its for me, just let me know!! I can usually tell, but most asks will be interpreted as for Spamton. I appreciate ones that start with his name before said thing is asked/stated specifically!! (i.e. "Spamton, __ __ __")

I wont be consistent with the way its answered. Sometimes it's one panel, sometimes its a couple panels, or sometimes they're animated gifs!! It varies depending on what i feel, so if youre lucky you can get a gif, lol. Those take longer usually though. Ive mostly switched to a gif formatting rather than multiple panels in a comic style, for the formatting! The animation quality can vary :-)

Thats about it!! Have fun!! ^_^

[haileyywrites]

-> I am like you - so never abandon me. In this world, it will be me and you side by side.

-> gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned) with platonic brother Scaramouche! Spoilers for Scaramouche and Ei's backstories! Scaramouche is referred to by his real name!

-> Small mentions of death - not detailed! Unhealthy family dynamics?

Kunikuzushi came into this world as a mere experiment into the making of pupets. He wasn't meant to resemble the Electro Archon as he was merely a test to the limits of such technology.

While Ei didn't expect much to anything from it, yet she was still disappointed in him or rather disappointed of how he turned out. He was too emotional, too human perhaps, for her desired outcome. An imperfection.

This did not deter her, however. The second time she decided to create a puppet, she wanted something closer to the end result she wished. So, she created you. But even you were not what she hoped for.

Yes, you did resemble her - like how a child would resemble their mother, but that was not what she wanted. As neither of you aged or changed it was easy to mistake Kunikuzushi as your twin - the resemblance between you two was even more apparent than with your mother!

But what Ei seeked was a clone-like puppet to rule Inazuma in her stead - under her command, while she would seek Eternity for Inazuma in the plane of Euthymia. Neither of you fit into her standards, as she saw you to be too kind hearted, too human to rule the nation of eternity.

So you were cast out. Simply thrown away like used toys after she finished playing with them... She saw this as a kindness - but it seemed more like she felt guilty. That she felt like she owed you two that much after giving you life when you clearly felt like any other human.

Together you would stumble through the country side as wanderers, all while trying to learn everything about the world around you. Endlessly seeking something. Something to give you meaning to your existence, a reason to life. But if your own creator - your own mother turned you away, what purpose could your life possibly serve?

No matter where or how far you wandered together, it never ended well for you or those around you... They would either betray you or die - which your brother saw as another form of betrayal. Especially when the small boy had promised to...

At least through it all, you had each other. During the freezing nights spent sleeping outside - huddled together to avoid the biting winds, or days were you had to resort into leaning against one another after not having eaten in days. Helping each other through every nightmare...

Though you might not have completely noticed it, but all your hardships had changed Kunikuzushi over time. He was colder and more suspicious of others - always asking after their intentions. He smiled and laughed less... It was what he had to do to make sure he would never be betrayed again, it was to keep you both safe.

You were the only one to never betray him, and the only constant in his life... He knew he could always count on you, but he was becoming more paranoid. He kept thinking and dreaming of you either dying - with him unable to protect you, or you joining with the rest of the world in betraying him.

In a twisted sense, he was rather glad you were meek and dependent on him. It lowered the chances of you betraying him, unless influenced by someone else - which he wouldn't let happen. As well your own fear of abandonment wouldn't allow that to happen. But not to worry, as he was just as loyal to you. He would never let anyone or anything harm you, just as long as you stood by his side loyaly.

As he decended from his hopeful, happy and naive personality, he would come to cherish it in you. He wanted protect this part of you at all costs. You could still see the world in that sweet innocent way after all that happened to you, while he couldn't afford to do so - lest he put you both in danger. It was a sacrifice he was more than willing to make for you.

Even when the Fatui picked you up and he became the Balladeer, he wasn't opposed to hurting his fellow Harbingers or any Fatui member if they dared to threatened you or your life. You were his light in the darkness and the reason he actually wanted to create the world the Tsaritsa spoke of.

He never let you see that side of him though, you never met Scaramouche and for good reason. To you he was simply Kunikuzushi - your older brother, who protected you - even if his protection meant essentially locking you inside, unless with him of course.

The Fatui and its Harbingers essentially hated and despised him. He was cruel and never in a good mood, often screaming for any reason to anyone. While with you he was sweet and gentle, making jokes and doing menial tasks to keep you entertained.

You were the last piece of Kunikuzushi he had left and he would let you - and only you, keep it.

After seeing his backstory I've just been wanting to hold and comfort him - so I'm just milking out content from that, but I do have others coming ^^3

Feel free to reblog :)

[leakyweep]

Doflamingo x Reader - Walk Home - NSFW

Warnings: dark content, dub con, possible non con based on readers perception, gendered nicknames (princess, darling), doffy getting reader intoxicated with the intention to manipulate, penetration, cream pie, coercion, manipulation, doffy manhandling, doffy in general

MINORS, DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

It had been a long night at the bar; from the way you had danced like your life depended on it to get you through your tough breakup, the blonde, tall man who'd approached you with such a grin you thought he'd eat you whole, the drinks he had you guzzle...

Now, you were sitting prettily in Doflamingo's lap, shrouded in shadows at the back of the bar. His lips engulfed yours in a fiery, passionate kiss, his hands running across your skin in a rough snare that was enough to entrap you in his charm. His words were as sweet as honey while he promised you all the things you could want in the world if you'd just let him have you, to keep you for only himself.

"I know it sounds selfish..." His lips danced across the skin of your neck, breaths hot against your ear, "I just can't help myself... and think of all that's in it for you, princess. Anything you could ask for, it's yours." The curl in his lip, the gleam in his eye, it made your stomach churn... deep in your chest you felt dread, as if this man would bring you trouble.

"I... um..." You were flattered, truly. However, you had just met the man! You couldn't just be whisked away by him, no matter how much you wanted to. You had a life, a job; you couldn't just go missing... or could you? "I just need some time to think."

You couldn't cogitate clearly right now, neither with him sitting so handsomely under you nor with the alcohol coursing through your veins, brain dizzy and vision a bit hazy.

The way his smile fell, the way that shine in his glass-covered gaze blinked out, the way his fingers gripped the skin of your hips as if he were angry at you declining... it made your guts churn, heart beating faster.

Almost as fast as the grin was gone, it was back, as if it had never disappeared. He nodded towards the bar while taking your dainty hand. "Then why don't we have another drink, and I’ll make sure you get home safe? You seem to be quite inebriated, and I'd hate for such a princess as yourself to be taken in the night."

If you weren't so damn drunk you'd decline him again, but you couldn't argue with his logic. You were in no state to trust a walk home by yourself. Besides, it was only a five minute walk back to your apartment.

Doffy held your waist steady to stumble over to the bar, order you another drink, and watch your lips wrap around the straw. His mind was swimming with dirty fantasies, his mind made up on what he'd do with you once he got you to say yes to him. Or not; it didn't matter to him. You'd submit to him somehow, this was just the easiest way to a non-violent outcome.

The way his gaze bore through you, as if he were gazing upon a fresh meal, ready to devour any second, it made a fire light in your core. You tried to swallow the feeling, push it deep down because you don't know what this dangerous man would do to you.

Your clothes were forgotten, thanks to Doffy, who had laid you down in your bed before leaving. He insisted he stay for a few minutes to make sure you'd be okay...

"Your body is so beautiful, darling... gonna use it, gonna make it feel so good..." his tone was opposite from his sweet words, low and sultry and preditorial. Your eyebrows knitted together, legs closing against his touch, your nerves on fire. You couldn't say much. Words slurred into one another, eliciting a small chuckle from the tall man as he peeled your panties off.

"Puh-please- I-" you were cut off by a hand around your mouth, fingers gripping against your hair. The sensation was enough to pull a moan from the back of your throat, nerves on high alert from the intoxication.

"Please, what? Use your words. You want me to keep going, right? Want me to make you feel good?"

His words were drowned out by the vodka clouding your thoughts, your eyes, your sense of good judgement. Hands were getting closer to your wet heat.

You couldn't help the buck of your hips, the mewls leaving your lips as he continued to cover them. His laugh reverberated against you. You had no choice but to submit, pinned under his weight and convinced by the alcohol that you wanted this.

You nodded furiously against his palm, your mind and body completely consumed by him now.

His movements were firm, unyielding to your squirming and whining to line his thick, veiny cock up to your pussy, his tip collecting some of the wet that had pooled at the bottom of your slit, drooling onto your bedsheets. His thick swollen head was enough to make you mewl, his length even more impressive. It lulled you to drawl out his name, and he grunted as his hips pressed yours against the bed, affixing your body there.

With a strong grip, he held your biceps down to the bed, as if he could never let you escape his grip, lest he lose you forever. When he pulled his cock out to the tip, he paused for a moment to leave a bite around your nipple and make you grunt his name. He then slammed his hips back down, a loud slap reverberating around the room, accompanied by a pitiful symphony of moans and sobs.

"Doesn't that feel so good?" After waiting a moment for your answer and being met with slurred syllables, he grabbed your chin with rough hands and began to pound into your weeping cunt at a merciless pace. He was like an animal in heat, needing anything to satisfy his hunger. "Hey- I asked you a question, princess. Does. it. feel. good?" Each word was punctuated with a sharp snap of his cock.

Your pussy was on fire. He was drilling into you furiously, like you were the last thing on earth he’d ever fuck in his life. His palm landed a loud smack! against your thigh, which was followed by a moan bitten back by his bony fingers in your mouth.

Your mind and body were at war with each other; on the one hand, the fire in your core was growing stronger with each thrust, each filthy, dirty word uttered from behind that shit-eating grin; on the other hand, your brain was telling you to stop, that this was wrong, that he coerced you into this.

The feeling of his head poking your pulsing walls was heavenly, his face carved in the moonlight like a marble statue. He was a handsome man- a handsome man who would take what he wants, when he wants it. And he was doing exactly that.

“D-D-“ Each time you tried to utter his name, you were met with a hard thrust. Your pussy clamped around his dick, pulsing walls beginning to give in to orgasm. You heard him chuckle, removing his fingers from your mouth to pull your hair downward, forcing you to look at him while your climax hit you. “Cumming-Fuck-“

Your body racked with twitching, his cock slammed deep inside as he spurted your insides with his creamy cum. A whine escaped your sore throat weakly, tears brimming your eyes and a thick ring of your cream wrapped around the base of the King’s length. Your vision was white around the edges, pupils dilated as you looked into his lusty eyes, brows furrowed and muscles spent.

“See, princess? Felt so good, right?”

[hom3landr]

"just lie to me, okay? just this once."

Necessary Lies

CW - Major Character Death, descriptions of gore and sickness, ANGST ANGST ANGST

Homelander’s intentions had been pure when he arranged to dose you with Compound V. He’s reminded by a friend that’s how the road to hell is paved

You aren’t getting better.

Homelander’s stomach turns.

You aren’t getting better.

He’d done everything right. The whole process was done under the supervision of all of Vought’s best doctors and scientists. Even as you screamed and begged, he’d been confident that any complications could be swiftly dealt with. Sure, you’d been an adult when the V had been introduced into your system but you are strong. You have to be. You have to.

He watches you in your room. It doesn’t seem right for you to be surrounded by so much blank white. You are color and light but even you can’t withstand the way the awful room dims your soul. Maybe if you could see the sun you’d get better. But the doctors insist you are too fragile to handle any environment except the sterile one you are contained in.

He bites his lip anxiously as you continue to hack up blood, the bright crimson automatically drawing the eye. His instincts tell him to scan you, to watch as the V twists your DNA and transforms you into something greater.

I told you not to get your hopes up. You tend to have a less than stellar track record when it comes to mud people.

He shakes his head and tries to ignore the little voice in his ear. He’s wrong this time. It’s a hiccup that’s all. You’re strong. You are.

The voice is blocked out but not by his own efforts. A horrible cry leaves your lips as your bones crack and shift under your skin. More red spews on the floor. He winces at the wet splat as a chunk of something hits the floor.

That was juicy. Wanna bet that was a lung?

Homelander tastes iron as he splits his own lip. It feels like it’s your blood he’s tasting. It’s your blood he’s spilt.

That one was a little mean, I admit. But buck up Bucko, this is what you signed up for. Maybe you’ll listen to me next time.

He’s done this before. Why the fuck were you the one with complications?

“There’s a good reason Vought doesn’t do it.”

That’s what he told Madelyn that fateful night.

He’d killed her too

He steps to the side as a squad of sour smelling scientists rush in to stabilize you. But what can they do? What can they do now that the only outcome is for the poison to run its course? He vividly fantasizes about popping each one’s head like a ripe melon as punishment for not fixing this. It doesn’t make him feel better.

Please

He begs the voice in his head.

Just lie to me, okay? Just this once.

The once dependable steady rhythm of your heartbeat is dangerously erratic.

You smell like death.

Please!

He worries the cut on his lip with his tongue. It feels strange to have a wound. The scientists flutter around you nervously. They know you’re a lost cause but Homelander’s icy gaze compels them to at least pretend to be helpful. Their terror burns his nose. He decides to make their demise slow.

No can do Buddy, you know that’s not what I’m here for. I’m the only one who’ll never lie to you.

Your heartbeat grows fainter. Your breaths rattle.

One of the scientists pisses himself.

Please…

You turn your head and despite your eyes meeting his, he knows you can’t see him. You wouldn’t be able to even without the wall in the way. He doesn’t think you can see much of anything anymore.

I told you so. Better go in and say your goodbyes.

I hate you

Aw buddy, I’m the only thing you have left.

Your heart stops and a noise all too terribly familiar leaves your throat. The last noise you’ll ever make. A wail just as wretched leaves his lips.

He didn’t even say goodbye. He let you die in that awful room alone. He wasn’t even holding your hand. You were alone like he was alone all those many years ago. Being poked at like he was.

He vomits bile onto the floor.

You’re gonna need me more than ever now. Better get used to it.

[beanghostprincess]

How would you rank each strawhat based on morality? Of cours they are all good people, but some are certainly more and others slightly less

I mean... I don't think morality is something we can make rankings of because it varies depending on your philosophy and a good person isn't always the one following the conventional, Kantian rules of morality. But I know where you're coming from. I guess I can just base it on my own understanding of what morality is, which basically follows the whole "an action is good when the outcome affects positively the majority of people/makes somebody external to you feel good/doesn't harm anybody external" (aka selflessness and altruism) and "an action doesn't have to be necessarily good and you can still be a good person because your initial intentions were good, even if the outcome wasn't the one you expected". So, basically, this ranking is based on altruism, selflessness, and the way their actions affect others and what are their views on society/how they behave with others. I also have in mind why they do the things they do and if their positive actions are done out of selfishness or pure altruism.

1- Chopper

Isn't it obvious? His whole character is literally about helping others. He's a caretaker who looks out for everybody and the common well-being and happiness. He has a strong sense of morality that's based on other people's joy and freedom, and he fights for the rights of every human being despite their background. He doesn't care about whether you're evil or not when it comes to your life, always saving the ones who need saving. His vision of the world is pretty simple, honestly. Besides, kindness is often related to naivete and he's well-known for that too. He treats people with respect, and kindness, often mimics others to fit in, and the only times he harms people is to fight for what he thinks is right (which is pretty often related to basic human rights being violated in a medical sense). Being a doctor doesn't make you morally good, but being this type of doctor specifically definitely does. He'd pretty much sacrifice himself if it meant helping others, using himself as a tester for various antidotes. He's by far the nicest straw hat. He's both selfless and altruistic and he even has his own set of morals that involve protecting humanity's basic rights when it comes to living. Wanting to cure every illness and make a world in which nobody can die before their time is basically his whole character.

2- Brook

What sets Chopper and Brook apart from the other Straw Hats is that they are pretty active in their altruism and try to do good for people unrelated to them. His whole thing is quite literally making others laugh from happiness. He's a musician. His whole life before joining the Straw Hats was to be in a crew full of artists who lived to make others happy with music. That's the most selfless passion ever. His cheerful and jokester personality is pretty much meant to cope in a funnier way to make others laugh and save them from being worried about him. He keeps wanting others to be comfortable and together as a family, he enjoys unity from spending so much time alone but it doesn't come from a place of selfishness, because he keeps wanting others to enjoy their time together. He might need/want company, but the way he asks for it is in a very polite way and he never wants to bother other people. His whole character is literally focused on wanting to go see Laboon and make him know he's alive. He could've tried to k word himself in the years he spent alone, but he didn't because somebody else was waiting for him. He might be a pervert but he asks for consent, having in mind what women want and he doesn't push things further if they don't want to. Brook is the definition of a very jokester gentleman with knowledge for consent and a very selfless attitude towards life, valuing others' needs before his own. Although he doesn't hesitate to cut people in half, he only does this to his enemies and, y'know, pirate life. And often it's either needed or they don't even end up dead, so... The reason he fights is to always keep others safe, rather than worrying about his own life (even though he's already dead yohoho!). I think he's one of the characters, along with Chopper and Robin, that value life the most and that's what makes them so good at protecting others.

3- Jinbe

The reason why Jinbe is third is because his sense of morality varies from Brook and Chopper's more empathetic and nondiscriminatory way of protecting people. Jinbe tends to follow logic within morality instead of instant emotions and I personally value more people who extend their empathy to everyone without a second thought than genuinely thinking about it first before acting. He has his own set of morals and what he considers to be right or wrong. He thinks first before doing anything and considers the outcome of whether saving somebody is plausible or not in the situation. That doesn't make him selfish, but just a logical person. What sets the difference between the other two and him is that Jinbe won't help everyone and Chopper/Brook will not hesitate to do so. Jinbe's caring side is mostly shown to be to his loved ones and he doesn't generally extend that behavior to people outside of his circle. He literally refused to look after Luffy because he didn't know the guy, even if he was Ace's friend. He acknowledges he can't help everyone and just takes care of his people. And when he does that, he does it in the most selfless and self-sacrificing of ways! He would die for his loved ones without hesitating and his whole character arc is about Jinbe deserving a break from looking after everyone instead of enjoying his own life. They quite literally have to force him to follow what he truly wants and yet he still goes back to help his people before joining the Straw Hats. So the reason why Jinbe is third is because he's just like Chopper and Brook, except that he acknowledges the reality of the world and uses a more logical approach, being more personal when it comes to taking care of people. Also, he wants to keep peace around the world and the way he approaches people is in a very respectful manner and tries to keep conflicts at bay, which is directly looking out for common ground and pacifism. I almost forgot to mention his whole deal with the liberation of slaves, and that's obviously something that makes him an even greater person. He fights for a cause, against the unfairness of the world. He makes the world a better place.

4- Robin

I've had a hard time trying to think about whether she should go before or after Jinbe, but after some time debating it, I think this is the right place for her. Her whole character is basically all about learning how to live and love because she never had the chance to do so after so many years of suffering on her own. Her concept of helping others might be more altruistic than Jinbe's because I view her as somebody who would follow Chopper/Brook's standards and help everybody in need, instead of only keeping her protectiveness to her morality and circle. However, even if she's more altruistic and empathetic with outsiders, her view of socializing is more cynical than Jinbe's. She chooses a more abrupt way of fighting for what's right and instead of looking out for common peace and ground, she doesn't mind cracking a few necks and spines. She has fun with chaos and dark imagery, unlike Jinbe, who's a very caring man. And she is caring too! The sweetest! But Jinbe worries more about what could happen while Robin is still learning how to have fun and just vibes. She has this bit of selfishness and enjoyment for chaos and having a good time that Jinbe doesn't have because he's calmer than her. She's calm but she enjoys the fun drama, and Jinbe cares about his surroundings' well-being more. The way she treats enemies is crueler because Jinbe is polite while she doesn't care about cracking a few necks. Even if she's more empathetic towards strangers, looking out for the general peace is conventionally better for society than cracking people's necks, so, yeah. And she's a revolutionary and their views might follow a set of morals about freedom, but the way they deal with social issues is very arbitrary. Basically, she's a sweetie but she has a bit of a dark side.

5- Usopp

He's the sweetest guy of all time and normally wouldn't hurt a fly and he goes all the way to make everybody feel comfortable and have a sense of unity. However, the main difference between Usopp and the others (this is where the ranking kind of starts being more and more different in terms of complex morality) is that he's selfish out of fear and self-defense. A thing that is completely natural and proof that thinking about himself and his loved ones first doesn't make him a bad person, just careful and human. Selfishness is often seen as something bad and against the benefits of society as a whole, and it might be, but it doesn't make him a bad person (that again, I don't think we're able to judge this either). The cool thing about Usopp is that he's a growing character. He keeps learning more about himself every day and, even if he's a "coward", the bravest thing somebody can do is fight against fear. Especially when it comes to insecurities and when you're probably about to die. He isn't altruistic in the sense of risking his life for a stranger (unless he feels guilty about it or has the need to do so) but he is the kindest in the sense of embracing friendship and support. He brings domesticity and comfort to quite literally everybody he encounters. He's easy to befriend and to talk to. His whole thing about lying comes from trying to cheer up his mom about his dad leaving them, c'mon, even if he was suffering because of her illness. He fights for the ones he loves even if he's scared, and when he refuses to fight is when he doesn't know the people that much and, to be honest, fair. Nobody should be forced to sacrifice themselves for people they don't care about and I personally don't think that can talk about morality. Besides, the way he jokes around and does his little shenanigans with Luffy not really caring about the chaos around (besides when, y'know, personal safety) only makes everything I said more obvious.

6- Sanji

Sanji is a very... Complex character. The duality of men, basically. When he's kind he's at his best and when he's creepy he's at his worst but then he also has this view on how much people's lives matter depending on what he personally thinks. He's very emotion/trauma-driven, so perhaps that's why it's really hard to tell whether he follows a conventional morality or his own. His whole character arc is about him realizing that he's kind, empathetic, self-sacrificing, and everything the Vinsmokes aren't. But he also has a calculative and cold side that shows up when he doesn't give a single fuck about the people he's talking to. Basically, Sanji can be both the nicest and the meanest guy in the world depending on what he thinks of you, but he'll never let you starve due to his own morals of "nobody should die of hunger". Like he might beat the shit out of you but he's making you a damn risotto before the fight. Sanji is a very kind soul and he looks out for others and always puts them first, but his morality is pretty much focused on his past experiences. He also has these preferences for women, which are not morally correct (if you view this term as equality) because, unlike the other characters, he doesn't view their lives in the same way. However, that doesn't mean he hates men, he just puts women on a pedestal. He will put others first no matter what but if he doesn't care about you he won't give a single fuck. He literally was about to leave those kids in Punk Hazard and only helped because Nami said so. When he has to help somebody he cares about, though (or anybody, really) he always ends up self-sacrificing for the greater good. But it's not really coming from a place of "this is a good thing to do" but from a "their lives are more important than mine and I like to feel needed". Even if I do think he also does this out of empathy and love, both things coexist. He tries really hard to please others. He finds joy in feeling needed but also in making others happy, so it really is a mix of trauma and genuine kindness. He's quite literally the whole "doing good things because it feels good but also because it helps people, and helping people makes me feel good" but I don't think he does it in a selfish way, because he doesn't even realize he's doing it to feel better in the first place. He just doesn't value his life the way he should. So, TL;DR: Sanji's a selfless character when it comes to the people he loves and when his morals are at hand (huge difference between the other characters, who help people without having in mind those things), but if he doesn't care, he genuinely doesn't care. His self-sacrifice might come from a place of wanting to feel needed, and that could be seen as selfish, but I don't think he actively thinks about it. He just acts. The reason why he's number 6 despite being one of the kindest characters is because he canonically has preferences and uses his own morals to decide what to do instead of valuing everyone's lives equally. Besides, his whole thing being creepy with women (even if it's just a running gag) makes him less likable. But this is post-ts Sanji's fault mostly.

7- Franky

He's a family man. He puts his family and the people he loves first. He has his priorities and follows his morals about masculinity and that's it. Great pal that cares deeply about his loved ones and would beat the shit out of somebody if that person were to hurt him/them/his ideals. The reason why he's number seven despite seemingly being so nice at first, is pretty much because of his background. The whole Franky family? Beating up Usopp? Stealing the money? He was into very dark stuff, man. Mafia type of shit. That doesn't mean he's a bad person but his morals are pretty questionable, and they basically follow the "Protect family, protect home, protect ideals, befriend cool people, beat up people I don't like". He's very... American. I mean. He is technically canonically American and it makes a lot of sense if you think about it. He befriends people quickly but he can despise them just as quick too. Once again repeating the whole "only looks out for the people he likes or for his morals/what he loves" but if he isn't interested in something he'll just... Don't do it. But, yeah, he might be pretty empathetic because he resonates with all the sad stories he hears and doesn't hesitate to save people, but as I said, it's not really an "I save people because all people deserve to be saved" and it's more of an "I like this person so I'm gonna save them" which is exactly what happened with Usopp back at Water 7/Enies Lobby. I must say he's also kind, helpful, and energetic and loves to spread fun around the ship to make people happy. Seeing the ones he loves full of joy makes him complete, and that comes only from love. But he doesn't spread that love the way the characters before him would, you know? The reason why he's here is both because of his past and his behavior toward helping others which is basically about turning them into friends right away (which, you know, is exactly what Luffy does too).

8- Nami

She's a bitch. In the best of ways. But she's still a bitch. I'm always the first one to say she's one of the kindest characters. Her heart is just so, so big and she treats people in need with so much love it's obvious she has motherly traits and just loves to take care of people. However, the girl is greedy. She's greedy. Selfish. A liar. A thief. A bitch. A flirt. A queen, basically. To me, she's the best of the best and she would go on top if we were talking about best characters, but here we are judging based on morality and... She's just that. A bitch. With a very warm heart that just freezes the second she gives no fucks about you. You know, she's not evil, she just uses people to her advantage because (especially back at the start. Arlong Park things) she isn't used to trusting people. She has really obvious trust issues and she pretty much only loves a few specific people in her life. She would do anything for them. And yet, even when she loves somebody, she's still a manipulative menace. Morally speaking she's fucked up because she looks only for herself and the ones she cares about, and when she needs to run to save her ass, she does it. She doesn't leave anybody behind if she knows it's gonna be THE end, but if the one who's with her is only gonna end up hurt and not dead (usually Usopp. RIP Usopp) she's running for her life. Also, she's shameless and uses the strength of the Monster Trio to her advantage and I absolutely love it. She's the brains, let the others protect her fr. She knows she can fight, she's just scared af of dying and I find her so real for that. She likes teasing people and wrapping them around her finger to get what she wants! She doesn't care about anybody except for her crew because why would she? They're pirates! And she only does it when it's either about kids (she has a huge, soft, warm spot for them) or somebody she grows fond of. So, she's a sweetheart and a very caring girl to the ones she loves (or she's the meanest too, as a sign of true tough love) but she gives in between -10 and 0 fucks about others and will steal from them, no hesitation needed. She breaks so many morality norms within society that she makes the perfect pirate. Honestly, it looks like she's the only one in the crew interested in the part of being a pirate that's about stealing and treasures. I love her so damn much...

9- Luffy

A lot of people are going to disagree with me on this one, but this is the one part of the ranking I'm 100% sure about. And it's not even hard to explain: Luffy is selfish. He's a very selfish pirate. But he's empathetic, kind, and really easy to befriend if you manage him to like you. He also sees the good in people. But he isn't altruistic. He only helps people he chooses to help because he either likes them or finds them interesting enough or perhaps he owes them one or whatever. He loves people in such a huge way that, if he likes you, he'll do anything for you. Anything. But he only helps people he considers his friends/acquaintances without wanting to be seen as the hero of the story because he's literally just helping a friend out. If he doesn't care about somebody, he will just ignore them. Or be straight-up mean to them. He has no filter and if he hates somebody, he does it explicitly and without any remorse about it. He might be extremely empathetic and sacrifice his well-being but only when it comes to the people he cares about. Otherwise, he'll just groan in pain and boredom. On the other hand, Luffy is also Chaotic Good (haha me too!), and he has his own morals. They consist of freedom and liberty. He will help to free a whole village. Or prisoners. Slaves. Even if they aren't his friends. But only because all of his ideals are about freedom and choosing how to live your own life. It just bothers him personally. And it's not even "I'm helping these people be freed because they deserve it" it's more of a "The concept of cutting somebody's wings makes me so fucking furious I'm gonna make this everybody's problem. I don't care what these people do after this adventure, but they should be able to have the freedom to choose". So, yeah, basically Luffy follows his ideals of "I do whatever the fuck I want" and "Don't hurt my friends. Don't go against freedom. Or I'll beat you up". He's very stubborn, too. Chaotic. He doesn't think about how his decisions will affect others. He's a very independent person when it comes to decision making but he's also very needy in the sense of needing people around him to feel safe because he is, after all, an extrovert who loves his friends/family to death. Luffy is selfish because he does whatever he wants, even if he's empathetic, kind, and understanding. Those concepts can coexist perfectly.

10- Zoro

I don't think I need to explain this much, honestly? He's very introverted and doesn't let people in easily, so he just doesn't care about people who aren't in his circle. He fights for his loved ones to death and holds the people he loves close to his heart, to the point of doing anything for them. But... But his morals are basically shit outside of that. He used to kill pirates for bounties without any hesitation. He still pretty much murders the people they fight against without any remorse. And, y'know, they're pirates so I'm not judging here. He's selfish in the sense of being a very protective person with his things and his personal space, and he can come off as rude to outsiders because, well, he is genuinely rude to them because he genuinely doesn't care about them. Unless he befriends somebody, strangers to him are just strangers and he couldn't give less of a fuck about them and their tragedies UNLESS they're going through something that goes against his own/or a nakama's morals. I personally think he's a sweetheart, but if we're following moral codes about the well-being of society as a whole and how much positive impact somebody does? He's, like, the last one to choose from the crew. He cares about Kuina, his swords, Luffy, and his Nakama. Perhaps he befriends somebody along the way but it always feels more like just respect and not really a friendship. Not saying Zoro is a bad person for his introverted personality and cynical behavior, I just think he's very intimate with his circle and will only do what he thinks necessary instead of focusing on selflessness and altruism as a society. He's pretty strict about the pirate code and he follows those rules solemnly, so he does have a type of morality, but he doesn't focus on society's well-being. He doesn't mind causing chaos if he gets what he wants. He's just chilling. Passing by. I honestly think Nami/Zoro is a great friendship because they're both little shameless bitches. TL;DR: Zoro loves crew only. Fuck other people. Might respect acquaintances. Strong pirate/swordsman moral code. But he isn't an altruistic/society/people person.

[zirkkun]

hello i've briefly returned from my long hiatus

i'm. working on stuff? if you noticed i unfollowed you it's because i'm massively narrowing down the stuff on my feed. it doesn't mean i have anything against you! im just trying to keep my social media feeds more curated. i've gotten a massive spike of anxiety even thinking about going anywhere online other than a couple of my friends' dm's and tiny servers on discord lately. but i want to be able to share my work. being able to share my work and allow my thoughts to impact other people is what gives me the greatest joy... i've just been so scared to share anything really because i gained such a panic that anything i would say would open the floodgates for harassment of any kind, no matter what i said or even what i didn't say. i've not been directly hurt by this, it's mostly just an unending fear of imagining the worst possible outcome. but i know a lot of people who have, some of which are my closest friends, and the internet isn't... as fun as it used to be.

it's taken me ages to even want to make this post at all. it's arguably the last time i will be bluntly honest about my feelings directly for the foreseeable future, because i no longer feel safe doing so with anyone other than a couple few close friends. i'm not saying this to point any fingers or try and say others are the problem, i'm simply stating my feelings to explain why i've taken the actions i have. i'm gonna be making a lot of changes to how i post things and reorganizing stuff around so it will hopefully be a lot easier for me in the future to be less frightened to even open any social media page, and in turn, i'll still be able to share my works with people who adore seeing them or who may even need to see them, depending on the content. but if i become more closed off to messages and asks and stuff, well, I apologize, but i'm not in the mental headspace to handle it right now.

i appreciate everyone who has stuck around here despite my absence. the amount of people still following me even though i've barely posted anything in ages is... astounding to me. thank you. whether or not it was intentional hoping i would come back or you simply forgot you followed me ages ago, thank you.

hopefully this change ends up being for the better for everyone.

[joys-of-everyday]

On the fifty shades of morally grey

So quick thoughts on how MXTX writes morally grey.

Sorry, I mean, excessively long meta post on how MXTX writes morally grey. Light spoilers for all three books.

A gazillion caveats to begin with. Firstly, I don’t want to argue about whether character x is morally good, bad, grey, pink or whatever. In my books, arguing about whether someone is or is not morally grey is like arguing whether a colour is green, blue, teal, or turquoise – we’re arguing definitions. To add to that, I’m not saying that concepts like ‘this person is overall good’ doesn’t exist, but I would posit that a morally unquestionable person does not exist. Secondly, I also don’t want to pass moral judgements on any of the characters. That’s for a different post. I strictly want to focus on the storytelling techniques that make the reader think ‘hang on a second, are they good or bad?’. Thirdly, this whole post is mainly based on How Arcane Writes MORAL AMBIGUITY (9 Methods, 4 Rules) - YouTube. Great video, great channel (no knowledge of Arcane required). Would recommend if you are interested in story writing techniques!

1) The information gap and the poor narrator

Best example is Shen Jiu from SVSSS. We barely know anything about Shen Jiu. Almost everything we know is from SQQ’s notoriously unreliable perspective, so we’re left to fill in the gaps ourselves. Depending on exactly how those gaps are filled, you can get two completely different people. E.g. Did he have designs of NYY, or was he just ridiculously misunderstood? Who knows! We’re never told. Even if we were told, we should doubt it because it’s SQQ telling us.

2) 4D characterisation

Schnee’s video goes into this in more details, but this is where you build two narratives on top of one another. Best example is Jin Guangyao from MDZS. Is he an underdog who did what he could out of his situation and tried his best to be a better person working for the good of the common people? Or is he a selfish, manipulative, ambitious snake who at every stage pretends to be good in order to win the favour of those around him? The point is that both narratives make sense in the story. There are moments that lean more one way or another, but you can never quite pin him down completely.

3) Moments of weakness

Best example is Xie Lian from TGCF. On the whole, XL is a wonderful human being who you 100% want to root for. Except… there was that one time he made a mistake. He let his hurt and pain overcome him; he became hurtful himself. The point here is to add in just a few ‘moments’ which fundamentally impacts how the rest of the world perceives them from that point forwards. They are forever trying to redeem themselves, forever weighed down by what is a tiny proportion of their life. The underlying question is ‘is a moment of weakness a moral failure?’

Another good example is Qi Rong from TGCF. On the whole, he’s a piece of s***. But then there are moments when he’s a genuinely good father to Guzi, and that’s confusing.

4) Well-intentioned idiot

Trying to do the right thing and absolutely failing. Best example is Wei Wuxian from MDZS. His intentions are always good. There are extremely few moments where he is selfish or overly cruel. He is always fighting for justice, always self-sacrificing, always kind. And yet the outcome of his actions is pretty bad. The underlying question is ‘should you judge a person based on their intent, or on the consequences of their actions?’

(btw the name of the method is from schnee’s video. No shade on WWX. He is very smart… well, unless it comes to LWJ’s feelings.)

5) Excuses

Yes, they’re bad. But we feel sorry for them! Almost everyone fits into this boat, because doesn’t MXTX love trauma dumping? As one example, let’s look at Jiang Cheng from MDZS. JC’s behaviour towards WWX is pretty bad on its own. But given the context of his childhood being compared to him, of having his self-esteem brutally crushed by both parents? Knowing how much he’s done and sacrificed for him, how much he truly cared for him as family? It hits different.

A small point: ‘excuses aren’t enough’ we say a lot (and I agree, to an extent). But compare, for example, Jin Guangshan vs Xue Yang. JGS seems to be a power-hungry asshole for absolutely no reason. On the other hand, put XY in different circumstances and we feel like he might have been a better person. Just as food for thought, there was a Japanese monk Honen (1133-1212) who said: ‘The good person can reach the Pure Land, so of course the evil person can as well’. The point being that the people who struggle with anger and hate because of their circumstances are most in need of salvation.

6) World building and presenting hard questions

What is acceptable sacrifice in war?

Is it okay to make a super dangerous weapon for the sake of deterrence?

How much personal responsibility does someone hold for a lifetime of circumstances pushing them towards a morally questionable path?

What are the responsibilities of a leader – to do what is right, or to do what is best for their people?

The world of MDZS is imperfect. It’s full of horrors and disasters, as well as a mob of outsiders all trying to impart their opinions despite knowing little about the situation. An imperfect world presents unanswerable questions. We see the characters struggle with these questions, come to decisions, and make mistakes, all naturally arising within the complex world that’s been presented. 

TGCF does this most explicitly. We literally have Kemo and Pei Xiu arguing about the ethics of war and XL concluding that it’s a Hard Question. In fact, every backstory of every Heavenly Official presents a new Hard Question. I don’t know if I like this method over the more subtle style of MDZS, but I have Thoughts about the storytelling styles of both (long story short, I love them both for different reasons).

7) Worlds are colliding

A slightly complicated method that takes a huge amount of set up. To summarise, set up two arcs that we the reader both feel invested in. Then set up a point where the ‘good’ outcome of one is the ‘bad’ outcome of another. For MDZS, we have 1) JC and WWX’s brotherhood arc. 2) WWX standing up for justice arc. They’re both merrily developing all the way through the conflict with the Wens… right until the moment WWX has to make a choice: stand up for justice and leave JC behind, or to fulfil his promises to JC and turn a blind eye to the injustices against the Wens. The decision is a lose-lose scenario because of the way these arcs have been set up.

8) Spectrums, Spectrums, we love Spectrums

Gongyi Xiao is a cinnamon roll. As is Wen Ning and Quan Yizhen. Meanwhile, the Old Palace Master? Literally no redeeming qualities. Wen Chao? Absolute scum. Then there’s everyone lying somewhere in between. We like Lan Wangji more than JC (I think that seems to be the case for most people?) but we certainly like JC more than JGS. Having a spectrum of morality is important because it gives us reference points to contrast and compare. It also emphasises the moral greyness of everything, because sure, Mu Qing isn’t a noodle like Shi Qingxuan, but is he worse than White No Face?

9) Spectrums aren’t enough – adding depth

Almost all of WWX’s moral ambiguity comes from the fact he has hard decisions to make. And for each of these decisions, the outcome is murky. He developed a new technique to fight against the Wens, but at what cost later down the line? He defended the Wens and gave them a few years of life, but was it worth it?

Compare with JGY. JGY does a lot of good. He also does a lot of bad. The magnitude of both lists is ridiculous. Sure, you wouldn’t usually find someone who’s killed most of their family members in any way likable, but how often do you come across someone who literally ended a war?

So one way of creating moral ambiguity is to make each decision difficult, but another way to go about it is to just… make them do loads of things. Like loads of things. Good things, bad things, all the in between things. Judging each thing is not that hard, but then trying to judge the overall person based on it is extremely difficult.

10) Pulling from the real world

Often, moral questions in fiction is hard because (surprise, surprise) moral questions are just hard full stop. Idk enough Chinese history and culture to accurately pin down all of MXTX’s references, but things like stupid misunderstands leading to conflict, poverty and inequality, less than ideal family situations, the horrors of war… these are all things that happen irl. No matter how fantastical the setting, grounding moral conflicts in reality makes us feel more emotional and invested.

Anyway, I hope that was an enjoyable rundown! This is an imperfect list, so comments, criticisms, suggestions greatly appreciated!

[yandere-romanticaa]

Daichi wasn't the kind of guy to initiate physical affection in public but he was never opposed to it either. You got a pass for pretty much anything as long as it wasn't too crazy of course. A kiss on the cheek, holding hands, even something just a smidge risque went back and forth from being tolerated to downright wanted. Daichi was always such a softie when it came to you and it felt as though the sky was the limit.

His perfect blue sky quickly turned dark once he saw you being sweet with other people though.

It's fine, he would tell himself. (y/n) is just like that and I can't change it, he would try to reason with his overly paranoid mind. But seeing you act so carefree around guys such as Nishinoya and Tanaka - it drove him up the wall. His anger was bottled up and he never said anything, ever. As much as he hated to see just how close the three of you had gotten there was still a tiny smidge of patience left in him. Why? Because he is the team captain, that's why. No one in their right mind would go after you, even if those two clowns did have feelings for you they simply wouldn't do anything out of respect for him.

Their team captain.

That gave him some peace of mind as he watched the three of you goof off 24/7 and besides, having you around kept the morale high. It was an absolute win when he stopped to think about it - you get to help the team in any way you could meanwhile Daichi could keep an eye on you without worrying about your whereabouts. It really was the best possible outcome of this particular situation.

Pity that was only the case for practice though.

You had classes and other places to be, Daichi couldn't keep you on a leash no matter how tempting it was sometimes.

Ever since Karasuno picked up steam and became more popular as a result a lot of people started to ask questions and most of them turned to you because it was the most logical thing to do. You were in a relationship with Daichi, the beloved team leader, of course people were going to swarm all over you eventually.

Things quickly turned sour once Daichi picked up on the fact that some people had more wicked intentions. Be it to use you to get some information out of you or to steal you away from Daichi, both were horrible and it made him want to vomit his own blood. He would pace back and forth in his room, pondering on what he should do. Countless hours of sleep are lost as his mind wavers, paranoia seeping into his pores as his classmates keep asking what the hell is wrong with him and can he please stop making that scary face, it's disturbing.

After a little while though, Daichi has an epiphany. He can't go full on jealous boyfriend on his teammates because that would cause problems both inside and outside the court. Everyone else though?

They were fair game.

Don't get him wrong, he's not going to be some super creepy boyfriend who is going to take up all of your time (even though he wants to be just that but you won't ever catch him saying that out loud) but when someone else approaches you he can be as mean as he wants to be. He spent years training his nerves on morons such as Tanaka, he can be either the most condescending person to have ever lived or the rarer route of him just going for the kill.

Figuratively or literally, it would depend on the situation and person.

... no killing would be ideal though.

He has mastered the art of scary looking faces, people have literally ran away from him in the past because he's just that scary when he's mad. He is strong, he is smart, he knows how to utilize everything he has to his advantage.

And you won't even know just how jealous of a guy Daichi really is.