#I understand people who don't want to deal with the so called 'fandom discourse'

[zeroducks-2]

I feel like a lot of folks who insist that the rampant purity culture in fandom spaces is "not a real problem", and something "an adult with a job" shouldn't deal with, fail to realize that if you simply engage with a certain ship or a certain trope you are exposed to cyberbullying in the form of insults, death threats, rape threats, suibating, self-harm baiting, attempts at doxxing, loss of your livelihood.

Your traumas will be stepped on if you have any, and/or treated as a joke. Your coping mechanisms will be deemed wrong, bad, harmful to yourself and other people, and you will be shamed for having them. The work you have been doing for your mental health, regardless if you dabble in the hobbies you like because of past traumas or because it's just a past-time you have, will be kicked into the dirt because someone is grossed out by them and they arbitrarily decided you cannot express your interest in them.

It is a real problem. Being an adult with a job doesn't give you an "exempt from this" badge that will protect you from harassment if you engage with anything that antis deem immoral.

And there are no "two sides of the same coin" and "two versions to hear" when it comes to this. I don't care if you think someone liking something is "unhealthy", that's none of your business what another person likes. Antis do not "have a point", they never do, their reaction to seeing a dark trope or an "unhealthy ship" are never justified. Hurting real living and breathing people over fictional content is never justified!

[klerothesnowman]

The Sith are Nazis and it's never been subtle

This one ended up being really long. I spliced in some images when I could to break it up easier.

One of the things that causes the most friction in the world is the idea of morality. I know, that's the most water is wet statement ever said but I think people really miss just how much the nuance of morality goes over people's heads. Subjective, objective, relative, from a baseline we understand that there are different types of morality but I don't think people really grasp how much a persons personal morality can be wildly different to any another given person's, especially among people who share spaces like fandoms. Morality is shaped by personal experiences, there are personal experiences that are 99% ubiquitous among humanity like "Pain" that form the basis of everyone's moral compass, then there are the major cultural touchstones that no matter what your morality will be affected by, religion, nation, race, all that what have you. Everyone has an opinion on the Christian Church and that opinion is informed by your morals. People who have been abused by members of a church will have a very different view of the morality of a religion compared to people who have been raised Catholic compared to someone who was raised agnostic compared to someone raised agnostic and is queer compared to someone who has been raised Catholic and is queer compared to someone who has been raised Catholic and is queer and is also rich and so on and so forth you get it.

Morality is not a binary thing, and it's not a nine point grid either D&D, it's more like one of those circle charts that Jojo Stands get ranked on. You know the ones that always seem to show up in anime? I don't know what they're called. Except instead of a circle it's more like a ball, and everyone has this horrible looking 3D balls covered in bumps and spikes and dips and holes.

Why am I opening this ramble with a ramble about morality and religion? Because I'm on tumblr. When I decide I want to ramble about something I read the tags and see what the vibe is, see what people are saying about things. I'm not part of the "Fandom", I don't know the discourses, I see that there's Anti-Jedi and Pro-Jedi and "Stanikins" and all of these different labels and battlelines, and then I read about how people on either side are feeling attacked and harassed by people on other sides. I have no idea how real this is, I have no idea what kind of minefield I'm about to walk into. I'm just rambling about my thoughts and feelings about Star Wars because I like it and I'm a little extra aware that this one is going to ruffle feathers.

Because people are fuckin' worked up about Jedi. There are people who are making it part of their identity that they are anti-Jedi. And it's been happening for years, decades even. Because the experiences and trends of nerd culture has been pushing against systems and religion since I was a baby. Nerds being obnoxious atheists and smugly telling people "God isn't real" was basically the norm when I was a teenager, and before I was born nerds were dealing with being called evil and satanic. Nothing I'm rambling about here is new, in fact using D&D as a touchstone I think the current trend for nerddom's interaction with religion is ambivalence, despite faith and divine power being such an important part of D&D, there's basically zero interaction with divinities in 5e, and when there is it's hostile and has an asterisk against it. I'll do a ramble about this one day too

But the Jedi stuff is interesting to me, because there's a lot of directions people come at for it.

There's people who argue against just Jedi because they're a religion. There's people who argue the Jedi are slavers or kidnap children. People think Jedi are super beings who lord over everyone with their power. People think the Jedi force people to suppress their emotions and personhood. There are people who think Jedi are moral supremacists who silence and kill anyone who thinks about the Force differently from them.

I have some "Pro-Jedi" arguments to make but I'll save them for a different ramble, because this one's supposed to be about another group of people.

The people who think, from their point of view, the Jedi are evil.

The reason I rambled on so much about people being Anti-Jedi is because very often, these people end up being Pro-Sith. It's an obvious leap, if the Jedi are the problem then the people opposed to the Jedi might have the right idea. If your issue with the Jedi is that they disallow "Attachment", then here's the Sith who are all about Attachment. If your issue with the Jedi is that they suppress their emotions then here's the Sith who are always tapping into their emotions. There is an immediate appeal there.

Then there's the Sith Code, let's give it a read.

Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.

Pretty sweet, Passion is pretty positive, breaking chains and freedom. I can get behind that. The rest of Sith Philosophy is pretty swell too. It's about improvement through conflict. Your struggles make you stronger, makes you better, removes your shackles and lets you be free, but also recognizes that you will have to do whatever it takes to do so. The Jedi seek to wipe out the dark knowledge you attain, so you must sequester yourself and hide when you must hide, and strike when you must strike. It's stance could be summed up as something like... "The sacred mission of a Sith is to preserve the Sith Order's most valuable elements as you raise yourself to a dominant position, and all who do not are chaff."

There are people who are really into this. Like, really, really into this. They talk about how they apply this mentality to their real life. They describe themselves as Sith. There are also people who are only kind of into this, they think about positive Sith characters and make headcanons about the good things Sith do.

I need to stress, for those people, that what I am about to say is not hyperbole. I will provide sources.

The Sith Code and Philosophy is Nazi Propaganda. It is literally lifted from Mein Kampf. That quote I used to sum it up is a paraphrased quote from Britannica.com. That's Hitler.

The Sith Code was invented to be in opposition to the Jedi Code, its purpose is to twist a preexisting code to make you think the alternative isn't so bad and it uses codephrases to do so.

Passion, Strength, Victory, Chains, being Free, these are words that we have presubscribed meanings for, but what do they mean in the Sith Code? What IS Passion? What IS Strength? What IS Victory?

Most people I interact with see Passion as Love, passionate, exciting love, the exact thing the Jedi reject. But that can't be it, where's Palpatine's love? Where's Maul's? Where's Vader's?

Passion is obsession. The kind of obsession that will lead you to burning everything down if you don't get what you want. It's not letting anything stand between you and your goal, even if that thing is your goal itself.

Let's break the code down here.

Peace is a lie, there is only passion. We start with the obvious twist on the Jedi code, an immediate refutation of the Jedi's first line. It stands in opposition.

Through passion, I gain strength. We've already done Passion, it's a nice little dressing up of "Being a raging psycho"

Through strength, I gain power. Strength is often intermingled with power, but it's often spoken of interchangably with being able to set aside morals. The Sith isn't an amoral monster who just killed a bunch of kids, he's just STRONG enough to do what needed to be done

Through power, I gain victory. Power isn't a code word. Power is Power, Power is what it's all about and there's no hiding it. In the Sith way the only thing that matters is that you are powerful enough to kill your rivals and stand on top.

Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me. I think the notions of breaking chains and being Free is the cleverest part of the Sith Code's propaganda kit. It's still seeing use in The Acolyte and it's still convincing people that the Sith are right, even when the guy who's calling for freedom mercs a child then and there.

The Sith are not misunderstood heroes. They're Nazis. They're facist might makes right would be autocrats trying to convince you they're right so you'll validate them and prove them right.

Sith Philosophy is self defeating. Following the Sith Code means you need to define yourself on your conflict, meaning your conflict can never end. For all its claims of being free and breaking chains you can never be free of what drives you or you will lose the strength it gives you. To break your chains you need to hold onto them tight, and you can never let them go.

[aro-bird]

I do have to say, as someone on the camp of "you could probably ship someone else who isn't non-partnering but honestly I don't care as long as you don't harass people over this", I think it's lost on some people that the reason why so many non-partnering aroaces may become defensive over these characters even if "it's just fandom" is the fact that a lot of aroaces who do fit these stereotypes and who may fall into this camp genuinely had horrible experiences about their social circles and yes, especially this fandom site, harassing them and saying they don't exist or that they're mentally ill and should "get fixed" among other things.

As common it is to see aspecs here on Tumblr, the queer social media site, you need to understand that there's still a lot of contempt for aroaces outside and inside this place. Hell, I received an ask calling aros and aces delusional just last Christmas Day 2023 that came with a wave of increased arophobia around that time. As much as that time period was definitely discourse against aroallo men, aphobes did not cherry pick on who they're sending hate to.

Besides this, a lot of non-partnering aroaces often receive this kind of dismissal in real life too and as much as some people may think it's not a big deal, it definitely fucks up your brain when people say you and your experiences not only don't matter but you are doomed to live a lonely and miserable life if you don't find someone. Even my otherwise very supportive relatives expressed this concern and it's absolutely out of care but it's fucking damaging to constantly hear that I will die alone if I don't find a partner (romantic, platonic, or otherwise).

This is besides dismissals like this or even non-acceptance had literally barred me from mental health care when I was a teenager because my specialist said I had a "distressed sexuality" and had specialists focused on that aspect rather than all my other issues.

The shipping of a non-partnering (typically romance repulsed or uninterested) character feels like another form of dismissal for someone like me, like my sexuality is not good enough or serious enough to be respected. The shipping of these characters sometimes reinforce the narrative that non-partnering aroace people can't find happiness on their own and do need someone (romantic, platonic, or otherwise) to be happy or they will become happier if they do find this someone. People are having fun with their ships but there are still many people who don't want to spend the time actually extending grace and understanding towards me and my experiences. I'm just another discourse topic and someone who's inconvenient to some of them.

This doesn't even account for how these fan communities aren't just filled with aspec people and do extend to allos who may take some of the discourse and actively apply it in real life to other real life aspec people. People who go and interact with real human beings and may hurt them or harass them. It isn't even accounting for the fact that even online things affect real people too.

Of course, I do understand that a lot more complex aspec identities often don't get the spotlight so they may express themselves through shipping fandom characters but non-partnering people should deserve more than these people isn't really the point of this post.

The point here is that there's a reason why a lot of non-partnering (typically repulsed or uninterested) aroace people get defensive about these things even in fan communities and it's very likely that it's because aphobia and especially against the stereotypical aroace™ still very much exist outside of our little community and they can be informed by media and the fans that consume it and this shit could genuinely have negative consequences. This of course extends to those who do have complex aspec identities as society does not treat those who don't live up to what is expected as "normal" in terms of romantic relationships and sexual attraction kindly.

Distancing yourself from these aroaces who do have frustrations with how media and fandom treat their sexuality because they're being "prudes" or are just affected by "purity culture" is unhelpful to say the least and honestly veers eerily close to shit I hear aphobes say about us.

Absolutely do stop people and block them if they're instigating and participating in harassment over shipping of all things, even these aroaces, but trying to say that every person who do have issues with shipping aroace characters are the same way with this is extremely lacking nuance and absolutely dismissive of other members of the community and why they may have the opinion they hold.

[copperbadge]

Sam, how did you find your therapist and build such a good working relationship? Every attempt I’ve made at therapy seems to fizzle out after a few months… and no therapist has ever understood the RSD aspect of my ADHD, which makes it all feel a little worse every time I try.

I mean, I think really we're still building it -- I haven't had her more than a couple of months and functionally it's been an every-two-weeks situation most of the time because we keep having to move/cancel. I don't know that I can really speak intelligently to building a relationship with a therapist because this is the first time I've ever done it where I was an adult and in control. As for finding one...

Chicago has a group called Clarity Clinic, which is like a WeWork for mental health professionals -- they offer scheduling, billing, and IT/office space to local people who I think are mostly independent operators otherwise. They have a directory that is highly filterable, so I found my psychiatrist there by filtering to stuff like Adult ADHD and medication management. He's great, but he didn't want to be my therapist and I didn't want him to. When I decided on therapy, I asked him if he knew anyone he could recommend, since he knew what my deal was in terms of personality, behavior, etc.

So he gave me a couple of names of fellow Clarity Clinic folks and I had a look on the website and chose the one that sounded like she'd get on best with me. I think I struck it lucky to be honest -- she's young (compared to me) and has ADHD, and she's very familiar with disability discourse, spoon theory, etc, even fandom to an extent. If I were to go looking today I might look more at therapists who specialize in twice-exceptional individuals, but she's good enough with what I'm aiming at that I don't want to change.

So the best advice I have is if you're being treated for other stuff by someone you trust I'd ask them, but also look for someone experienced with adult ADHD, and I'd look for someone on the younger side who's more likely to be understanding of neurodivergent needs. (I also recommend filtering to queer-friendly therapists if you can; I didn't necessarily need that but it means they're likely to be generally accepting and probably have more liberal politics. With the caveat that in shady places like BetterHealth, "LGBTQIA" counselors are sometimes homophobic creeps with an axe to grind.)

Building the relationship has taken proactivity on my part -- ensuring that I always have an appointment on the books (we book out about six weeks in advance now, because we know one of us will likely need to cancel/rebook at times), making sure that I have either an aim for treatment or at least something to talk about, etc. I think in your case probably having a list of things you want to deal with, so that you can check some boxes up top, might help.

I would definitely open with "I have ADHD and I need help with [aspects of that]; I also have RSD and I need to work with someone who respects that diagnosis and understands how to help with it." I went into mine saying "I have ADHD and I'm also struggling with some really big emotion, so I'm looking for help with those, but also like...I'm not really sure what therapy can offer. I've had some bad experiences in the past but they were all when I was a child, so I'm trying to explore some options." Her reaction was a combination of sympathy and a discussion of the kinds of things we might work on, which helped a great deal.

But yeah, I think it starts with establishing right from the jump what you want and need, and then spending time making sure that you both stay on top of that until you find a rhythm. We're still finding our rhythm, but it's getting easier as I'm learning to be clearer about what I want and more comfortable with being a participant instead of someone therapy just happens to.

[queerofthedagger]

not to stir the pot but i’ve seen some really shitty takes recently about arthur being gay and completely erasing gwen’s importance to him. what are your thoughts?

oof well that is in fact a loaded question but I genuinely feel your frustration so let's give this a shot lmao

the short of it, to quote a friend of mine: 2012 tumblr called and wants its shitty shipping discourse back (derogatory)

the slightly longer of it.... to start this off, no one has to ship anything. no one's saying that anyone has to ship anything, or headcanon characters a certain way, or that you're not "allowed" to say that you don't ship certain ships. that's just . not a thing that's happening, and I do wanna reiterate strongly that you don't have to ship anything.

that said, well. maybe if you find yourself with the urge to nail your 'why i don't ship this canon interracial couple' against the proverbial church doors, you should ask yourself.... why is it always the black characters you find "badly written." why is it always the black and the white character who have "no chemistry." why is it always the black character you find unrelatable, that you think would be soo much better suited dating another character of color, etc. etc. These things do not happen in a vacuum, and you don't need to hate or even dislike that character to play into tropes, stereotypes, and issues that very many people have very extensively explained to be less than stellar, to put it mildly.

And Imma come out and say this: fandom is not activism, you don't need to be a loud, outspoken activist and/or turn this into anything more than a hobby. if, even amongst the discussions had in the last years, you have never once stopped to ask yourself how you might deal with the internalized racism that we're all dealing with, how it might affect people in the spaces you share while doing your hobby, then, frankly, you gotta do better. fandom is not activism, but we all have some basic responsibility of not causing more harm than there already is going around. this should not be a controversial statement either.

you can ship merthur without invalidating and trampling all over the frankly brilliant fact that this show went and casted a black woman as queen guinevere. you can ship merthur without taking away scenes that are not about them - god knows there are enough. you can acknowledge that 75% of your shipping takes are subjective, that merthur isn't, wasn't, and was never going to be canon, and literally none of this takes away from the two generic white dudes whose faces you'd like to smash together. this entire fandom is and has been majorly about those two generic white guys, for well over a decade, and i'm saying all this as a white merthur shipper. like, this is the bare minimum. and yet, here we fucking are.

as for the arthur being gay thing - again, you don't need to headcanon anyone a certain way, but whenever i do see this specific headcanon it "somehow" always comes with an incredibly weird (to put this mildly also) understanding of sexuality, top/bottom discourse, and - you guessed it - takes on arwen, that are maybe something people might want to uhh. examine also.

this isn't a callout, or a call for a witchhunt, or or or. personally i block and move on, and I wouldn't have said anything more on this than a vague shitpost on my sideblog, but god knows i can never shut up and even less so when asked, and I do think that while, again, fandom is not activism and I'll stand by this, people should... try and aim to make some basic attempts at not causing harm. it's not even hard (although that should not be your measure but like, again. bare minimum). it really is as easy as not constantly invalidating and side-lining ships and/or characters, by doing basic research in how not to whitewash characters, why not to compare skintone to food when writing, etc.

On that note, none of these are things that I've come up with. A lot of people, especially fans of colour, have done a great deal of work to provide resources and education that are... incredibly easy to find if you can be fucked to make some effort. Imma link a bunch beneath too but like. Yeah I guess that's my take. You can ship whatever you want, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart. But 1. maybe sometimes take some time to consider what you're saying, 2. maybe take some time to do some basic self-education on some issues in general, and 3. writing posts on why you don't ship whatever ship has never accomplished anything beyond getting people who agree with you to stroke your ego, and step on the toes of people who don't. at best.

But also, last but not least, the block button is your friend and all that

Resources by people much better equipped to talk on these things than me:

How to stan the white guy with minimal contribution to fandom's racism problem

The racism in the Merlin fandom and towards Gwen specifically

Educating Merlin - a blog that's specifically tackling racism in this fandom

Fanlore on Fandom's Racism Problem(s) (use to find many links leading you to further discussions on it)

More Fanlore with further links

When white people talk about racism in fandom

Writing with Color - Resource blog for writing specifically, but honestly also covers so many topics that it's incredibly useful for doing some self-examination too

I'm not saying you need to agree with everything said in all of these sources, but also if your constant reaction to these discussions as a white person is to get defensive, to dismiss it, etc., I'm saying this in the nicest way possible: maybe sit with that for a bit. Ask yourself why requests like not constantly making fun of a ship gets you in such a huff. Etc. etc.

Lastly: if people would like to add onto this with more resources, that's highly welcome. That said, anyone clowning/harassing/being a bitch on this post will be blocked.

[stormblessed95]

Thank you for answering my ask Storm. I appreciate it. I am new to tumbler and have not read everything you have posted mainly focussed on the member dynamics in your masterlist. In your recent post you mentioned that the bullying had happened and that’s how I got to know. I believe in the same post or some posts after you said you were willing to engage in respectful discussions and after much diliberation I thought to myself, that it was ok to send that ask. And it was, coz you answered it so respectfully.

Even if I may not agree with you fully, I do see where you are coming from. Your blog is yours to moderate and that is that.

My gripe with this fandom is that a lot of fans do not allow for a difference of opinion which then just means that we are a cult. The boys are not perfect and it should be ok to call out some of the things they do if it is done in a respectful manner. It is really quite something for people to say that there is a need to police fans/solos or Jikook fans because look want happened to Taekookers. It is too late to make that call because now no fan would be able to take the Gandhian stance of looking the other way. History does define how the present is handled. Yes, it is negative approach but it is what it is.

In any fandom, big accounts have a moral responsibility to ensure that the same energy is given in calling out bullshit but a large number of the ot7 accounts are Taekookers so the same energy isn’t given and this is what has resulted in a whole lot of solo accounts who are unnecessarily hated on most of the time.

Thank you again for allowing discourse. I very much appreciate it.

Having a difference of opinion and not allowing anti rhetoric on my blog is not the same thing. And saying "I have these criticisms of Tae and I think that's fair" is fine, but it also doesn't change that it's the same rhetoric that his antis use against him and it's not something I'm interested in entertaining. I truly couldn't care less if people agree with me or not. That's always been the case. Just as it's always been true that I've held that this space is mine and mine alone. Y'all are here only if you want to be lol. You can feel however you want to feel, that doesn't mean I'm entitled to have to do anything about it nor does it mean I have to hold space for it. Which I think is the problem that occurs when you hit over a certain number of followers. I'm not quite sure when that transition happened for me, but sometimes I miss how my blog used to be 2+ years ago 😅😂

I love Tae. I love him so much. I love his bond with the members. I think there are for sure things we can talk about critically there. Just as there are things I think we can talk about critically for each member and for the group as a whole. Do I think now is the time? Probably not with all that is happening with k media and the harassment happening.

Do I think any of those critiques involve their relationships with each other, including how Tae interacts with JK, no. I think their relationship and how it works best for them, is not something we get to interject on. Opinions about that stem from personal biases and often, also anger about antis and the desire to protect other members from said antis.

I also agree that a large number of "OT7" accounts on Twitter don't give the same proper energy to calling out bad behavior because they are taekookers or diet solos/shippers. But then we shouldn't be calling them OT7 accounts, right? I promise there are really good larger accounts out there that aren't full of bullshit. You just gotta use your block button freely. Because not giving fake ot7 a platform, is a good way to start. But it's hard when it seems like no one else cares. I promise I understand that. I understand the frustration and the pain that brings. As someone who deals with haters who feel protected behind an anon label, I feel like I extra understand it sometimes.

Fandom spaces are going to be what you make of them. All types fandom can be full of so much bullshit. You gotta carve out a corner in it that brings you happiness and peace and do what you can that way. Or you aren't going to have any fun. And that's what fandom should be, something that is fun and brings you joy.

Thanks for replying kindly again 💜

[philsdrivinglicence]

Killing the white supremacist inside you. Easy mode. From one whitey to another.

Disclaimer: I am not an academic or an expert. Just a white person who's life was changed for the radically better during the BLM protests of 2020 who wants to share what worked for them.

Below is a non-comprehensive list of first steps you can take to begin the hard work of unpicking the layers upon layers of white supremacist bullshit baked into you from birth by the culture we live in (even if you grew up progressive or in a big city you are not exempt from this).

I made this list because POC in the phandom have been doing a lot of heavy lifting the past few days. I figured the least I could do is share what worked for me to understand what racism is and how its more subtle forms can manifest.

I hope we can all use the below as a starting point to help make the phandom a less racist and more welcoming place.

(btw I do think we are generally more self ware than many fandoms but as we are a mostly white space we have to keep ourselves accountable as white supremacy is an insidious bastard that will catch you unawares if you let it.)

So. Without further ado.

- read this article

- Read "Why I'm No Longer Talking To White People About Race" by Reni Eddo Lodge (how you choose to source this book I will not judge but consider supporting a local book store)

- Stop being so afraid of being called racist. - Hopefully, if you are engaging in good faith then you already accept that racism is baked into our society. Racist is not a dogwhistle for "evil person". It is a descriptor of very specific behavior that we can all fall into if we don't keep ourselves sharp. So part 2 of this step is -

- Look back on your life and identify a time when you have participated in racism. My go to example is my 14 year old "never met a black person in real life" self, yelling along to N****s in Paris (uncensored, duh) at a house party with a bunch of other white 14 year olds. If you're getting really introspective you'll probably have multiple of these such moments. Sit with them, feel the cringe, think about what you might say to that version of yourself now, how you might have acted differently had you been aware the behavior was problematic. And then forgive yourself. Self flagellation does nothing good, the thing to do now is learn and progress. But you can't know what to change/avoid if you don't have examples to work off of. (This one is lowkey hard mode but worth doing early on so you can see your own progress over time. Also, if the examples you are thinking of were directly harmful you may also want to consider making amends in some way).

- Look at your playlists/album collection. If you don't see many/any POC musicians make a conscious effort to change that. Seek out interviews with your favourite artists and see which black artists have influenced them. Add them to your rotation.

- Do this with youtubers, authors, actors, screenwriters etc, etc. In all forms or art and entertainment, look at what you consume and if you find it overerall skewing white, make an effort to fill it with colour.

(Kill the voice inside you that says "I just prefer - blank-", or "the stuff they make just isn't for me, I prefer stuff I can relate to". This is the white supremacy talking, POC are not a monolith, look harder, you will find artists you connect with)

- Every time a POC points something out to you that seems off to them (I often refer to this as "this doesn't pass the sniff test") before jumping in to defend your fave/point of view/TV show etc. really sit with what they have said and try to consider why what they are pointing out, while not a big deal to you, could be a big deal to them.

Like I said up top, this is a non comprehensive list and is only intended as a starting point.

I usually wouldn't post something like this as I prefer to stay out of discourse but the conversation going on this past few days has really disappointed me. So many people are being dismissive toward POC fans and completely missing the points they are trying to make. So here's my two cents. Hope it's helpful.

[that-left-turn]

Please, I beg you, please stop posting any anons that try to invalidate Carol, Mel, Caryl or the fandom. I'm on practically any platform. That anon is full of bullshit and tries to warm up allegations from years ago. That bullshit with not speaking out etc is as untrue as their newest claims.

Please, by posting these anons you're unfortunately dragging their bullshit on our accounts too.

Can't we just outright ignore them, please. We don't need that drama. And it's always the same anon jumping from one Caryl account to another every few days.

I really love your account and how you're always interacting with people but no matter how you explain something or not. These fans don't want to understand your standpoint. For them, all Carylers are bad. So please, let's just enjoy our fandom and leave drama out of our safe zone.

If you'll indulge me, I'll explain my reasons for engaging and then, we can see where that leaves us?

I'm aware that there are anons who don't reach out in good faith. (You should see some of the asks I don't post 🫣) I'm not gullible and my response isn't about convincing these anons or having a never-ending argument. I don't want drama. I want to reach the lurkers and the passersby. People who haven't given the workings of racism much thought, or who don't have ready access to this information or a cultural cheat sheet to decipher it. Not everyone lives in the US, and TV shows and movies are not a reliable reflection of real life good tools to understand how and why something's contentious.

A chunk of time ago, there was an incident where a Caryler wrote something racist and was called out (I believe by a Caryler of Color?), but it turned into "a whole thing" instead of just an apology and an amendment. The responses from other (white) Carylers in the wake of it made me so sad. They couldn't see the problem, which is why I wrote a post that provided historical background and cultural context. Because of anon asks, I later wrote some more posts on racism (in relation to TWDU and TV/film) and on general industry practices, including some of the problems with misogyny.

Regarding the ask you referenced, someone sent me screenshots of the mentioned tweet and it wasn't from years ago. It was in the last couple of days and those pictures were racist. I still think a part of the general problem—not speaking specifically about this tweet because it's on a different platform and I have no context for the poster or the discourse over there—is one of awareness, not rampant racism. Racists so seldom are the raging, frothing-at-the-mouth kind. It's usually that nice-lady-who-lives-around-the-corner type, who's kind to children and animals. She has some slight biases that you write off because she's a good person and does all these other nice things.

If you've never been a minority—always visible and seen—in your community and you've never had to deal with insidious bigotry on a personal level because your name signals that you belong to the dominant culture, your skin tone is light, you wear no outward signs that you're Other (like a hijab, yarmulke or dastār), and you don't speak with a foreign accent or in a dialect that's considered "lower class," then it's so easy to not notice what it's like for those who deal with that in their daily life.

The visible portion of the Caryl fandom is predominantly white, so it isn't a "safe zone" for POC when someone says/does something ill-advised, even if it's about a different part of the fandom. It's a reminder of real life and that you have to behave in a way that doesn't make white people uncomfortable. If you don't, then you're a troublemaker or the one who doesn't understand that "it's not that deep. Just get over it." Getting over systematically being treated as 'less than' by otherwise well-meaning people isn't a realistic expectation—look at Caryl and their invisible emotional scars that they struggle with—low self-esteem from reinforced institutionalized prejudice doesn't just "go away."

Everyone's bombarded with subliminal messaging from the time that we're children and we absorb these "truths" subconsciously, without reflecting on the validity because we don't notice that our views are being influenced. (It's like erosion.) Which is why it's possible to say casually racist/sexist things and not be aware that what you're saying is racist or sexist. You don't consciously think that people who're different from you for one reason or another aren't fully human, but the signal you send out by using language or imagery that's some form of -ist conveys that sentiment to the person who's impacted and also that it's okay to talk about someone else in that way.

My aim isn't to throw stones at anyone or bring cross-platform drama. I would prefer it if people stopped asking me to 'do something about someone who did something on a different platform' because I'm not part of the landscape over there and I have no relationship with those people that I can use as social capital to affect anyone's behavior. But, I've tried to highlight social injustices affecting TBOC and Caryl fandom so people can see the issues, even if they're not personally affected by them.

That's why I'm also talking about how things work in the industry. I see a lot of assumptions among fans, which is understandable since it's not a field most people come in contact with. I've tried to offer explanations of how a production functions and the ways in which female creatives are confronted with sexism and misogyny. I would like for the industry to change, but for that to happen, consumers need to know what they're buying into. AMC and TWDU in particular is not a place where women want to work because the misogyny is deeply entrenched.

That doesn't mean that I want to disparage, undermine or dismiss Carol, Melissa, Caryl or the fandom. I talk about the workplace inequality and the lack of narrative integrity because I care about these characters. I want Carol and Melissa to get their dues. I want canon for Caryl because that representation matters and it could help change what we see on other shows too. (Tiny creeks turn into mighty rivers.) It's about the aforementioned narrative integrity: Caryl's emotional arc has run throughout the course of the flagship show, even if it was arrested for a couple of seasons during the Saviors arc.

A TV show isn't produced to satisfy its EPs. It's supposed to make the studio money and the only way to do that is if there's a paying audience. You have to respect the viewers. Write for them. If you distill an ensemble show into a small spinoff focused on two characters, you need to tell a story that viewers who are invested in those two characters will tune in for. You shouldn't try to weed out the audience you have in order to attract the audience you want to write for. That's a poor financial decision.

Regardless, I'm not trying to stir up drama, I promise. I hope anyone reading my posts can see that I'm not combative, and I'm not posting the hateful asks or those that have nothing to do with TBOC. I try to offer a fair perspective regarding the direction of the show. I see red flags, but I try to elaborate on why in more practical terms than "this is how I feel about it." I hope that comes across to people 🫠

[gamora-borealis]

long rambling essay under the read more about twt phannie discourse / discourse surrounding how people talk about dnp's relationship because I have thoughts I want to get off my chest:

ohh I am so glad I am using twitter less the twt phannies are having discourse again about if you are allowed to think dan and phil act cute together (which yeah most people assume it's in a coupley way but if on the off chance they're actually not a couple then they are still cute and gay besties??? literally doesn't change much???) or that it's bad to wonder if they are soft launching their relationship because of stuff they have said that implies it? like obviously don't tag them in stuff and I get being nervous that they will get recommended stuff on twitter but like, if you keep it to tumblr or discord or your small or private twitter then whatever I don't think it's that big of a deal. they didn't like the speculation when they were in the closet because it became such a huge focus that people were messaging them about it, violating their privacy, other YouTubers were making fun of them or trying to expose them, it was putting a lot of pressure on them to come out, etc (which I think that is what Dan was addressing in BIG and people misunderstand that part because what he said was a little bit clunky in terms of how he organized it because it was hard to talk about!) but I don't think they care if people in fan spaces have opinions on what their relationship is a long as we respect their right to talk about that kind of stuff on their own terms. like the way I view it is like if you had some friends that you thought were maybe dating or flirting and then were like "aw yeah they're cute" or "hmm I wonder if they're..." to your other friends. like I don't think it's cool to say it to the people in question's faces if they haven't openly talked about it yet but I don't think it's bad to wonder based on things you have observed??? idk personally I'm always noticing details and analyzing things because my personality is just like that and sometimes I like to talk about it, not in a spreading gossip way but like an, "in confidence" kind of way to get a second opinion out of curiosity. and like ultimately your want should be for people to be happy and they are the only ones who can decide what kind of relationship/s make them happy and you can respect that while wondering or having an opinion that you don't announce to them (and like, dnp tend to understand that indirects / tumblr / etc are meant for other fans and not them and that if they go looking through tags and stuff that they are going to potentially see these opinions or observations).

also like, I think they really don't care as much now that they are out because the pressure / fear has gone away and now they make jokes about it and call themselves phan and make fun of phannies lol. I think part of the reason that so many people are drawn to their relationship in the first place too is because they are these funny relatable (neurodivergent?) queer parasocial figures in what appears to be a strong / supportive relationship, whether they are together or are queer exes who are still besties and/or queerplatonic and roommates. like we love to see them being themselves / being queer together, whatever that means for them!!! because they've even acknowledged that before they were out they were still queer representation in the sense that a lot of times they subverted society's expectations of masculine friendships in their videos just by being themselves.

also dnp have been very loud about certain things lately I don't think it's weird to be like... are they going to finally reveal something because their behavior lately has been kinda wild! (although maybe they won't because they don't want the general public / locals / news attention about it that might actually be more annoying than the standard/familiar attention from a lot of their fandom and like that's completely fine too).

Idk there is just this weird virtue signaling on twitter that is very annoying to me. like personally I am like yeah a lot of stuff points to them being in a romantic relationship but I could be wrong and either way I really love them and the relationship that they do have and show us on camera. but one doesn't have to qualify with that every time when saying "aw they are cute!" or making an observation about something on your own blog or small account...

honestly if what comes off as virtue signaling to me is actually coming from a place of care, I do respect that... I just also think that some people go out of their way to police or denounce behavior because they are afraid of being identified with people who were actually harmful to dnp when I don't think the behavior they are being mad at in this instance is actually harmful and more so just a natural side effect of being parasocially invested in these two queer guys who have spent most of fourteen years together and have confirmed that their relationship has been "more than just romantic."

[maria-taiwin]

Hi! I saw your post about the top bottom discourse in the mxtx fandom, and just wanted to say that you're absolutely correct. Also, I've always found Xie Lian's character really interesting because MXTX actually breaks SO many stereotypes when it comes to him, especially regarding the "feminine/masculine" thing. People really are weird to talk about how Xie Lian being typically feminine is harmful because he's "a bottom" while looking at the whole situation through stereotypes themselves. Personally, I've always found comfort in his character and his nonchalance towards whether what he does will seem "manly" or otherwise, I think it's time the fandom does too honestly😭 And! By saying Xie Lian is feminine, are they implying that Hua Cheng is less feminine? If not, then where does he come in, in this argument, since he's "the top"? The last time I checked, Xie Lian is a martial god (if they want him to be tough and manly), and Hua Cheng has butterflies (cause butterflies are for girls right😌✌️). The misogyny is so obvious when you put it like that isn't it. Who's stereotyping now?😐🤨🤔

Thanks for your post and I agree with you! These people so busy with this t/b discourse just don't understand how they are the ones fixed with strict binary stereotypes, while these characters are not at all like that! I love how MXTX protagonists are comfortable with their masc and fem sides, and yet their so-called fans shame them over it.

Like you said, Xie Lian is not the typical manly hero, he looks like a blossom flower and yet he's a martial god and he can fight with basically any weapon, even a tree branch 😂

People say "but he's over feminized :(" but if you ask them if they know what are the Four Gentlemen in chinese literature, they don't reply you with common sense. They see a male character using a fan and they say: "Oh so he's effeminate 🙂".

There is a lot of ignorance about asian culture, it's not a fault, you can always do better and learn, but if people do ignorant essays full of inaccurate mindset then it's a problem 🙃 from simple things like throwing flowers at knights during parades (a common thing that unmarried girls did in ancient times to solicit courtship from the man they choose), to more prominent aspects. People got surprised even at long haired men like it wasn’t a common fashion in ancient asian times hahah.

Anyway, I just wish people would stop to combine bed positions with gender norms or personal dignity. It's not that big deal, I swear. Everyone is legit to have preferences and favorite tropes with no shaming or stupid fight. It's not a contest! And stop with that common unrealistic stereotype that switching causes personality disorder 😕

And yeah, Hua Cheng is the best babygirl of them 😉

[the-great-ladyg]

Hey there!

Welcome to my blog, name's Lady G, you can also call me Lady or Gaby, and this is my place for everything I enjoy or I'm interested in like selfshipping, some discourse, fandom and a bit of politics.

I identify as a genderfluid person, so you can use any pronouns when talking to me, I really don't mind.

I enjoy reading and writing, and I hope to start posting about my ideas in here, I'm eager to share my thoughts about my shipps and ideas, but maybe I'll post them in Spanish. I also like to draw and will post my drawings, maybe, I'm not sure.

I'm a selfshipper and also support oc x canon shipps, so this is your safe place for everyone that enjoys this.

I'm cringe, but I'm free.

I really suck at editing and "aesthetic".

Currently accepting anon asks.

You can find my AO3 here.

BYF

- English is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any grammar mistake, sometimes I might use Spanish when I post an opinion when I really get angry about something that I don't want to translate.

- I'm a proshipper/anti-harrassment/anti-censorship, I don't support any policing of art or the idea that kinks or the pixels someone enjoys is evidence of any crime, actions on real people are evidence, not shipping FlowerPunk.

- This is a 18+ blog, so if there's a minor they'll get blocked, and if someone is uncomfortable with this kind of blogs you can unfollow or ignore me.

- This is also a kink friendly blog, I might not share some kinks with other people, but I won't judge them, this is your safe place.

- If someone comes here to cause any problem, is an instant block, I don't want to deal with trolls and people who want to argue over stupid things.

- I don't really mind sharing F/Os with anyone, just don't bring canon x canon shipps or be obnoxious about your selfshipps with them in the way of "I love them more than you/I write/draw them better than you/I understand them better than you/You're loving them the wrong way", I'm kind of possessive in that way and want to avoid toxicity.

DNI

- Minors

- Antishippers, antiselfshippers, safeshippers, anti oc x canon

- Bigots (conservatives, TERFs, SWERFs, LGBTQphobes, islamophobes, racists, etc.)

- ED, SH, radqueer or related blogs

- If you use he/him or they/them pronouns as a way to try to misgender me thinking I'm a cis woman or treat me like a cis man

- Pro Israel/justify what Israel is doing or has been doing all these years

- Pro AMLO/support and/or justify AMLO (current Mexico's president) and his political party's actions/think any of Mexico's presidents since 2000 is the bad guy except AMLO/think AMLO is Mexico's messiah or best president

- If you'll try to lecture me on economic, cultural, social, etc. aspects about Mexico or being a Latin person and you're not Latin (like with all the "Oye Primos" thing), or you get offended in the name of Latins by things that concern us and you're not Latin (like the Mario poncho thing, or the Encanto drama, we Latins didn't get offended with that, but we did get offended with the American response, when they were trying to lecture us on what really offended us)

- Pro contact MAPs/pedos, zoos, necros, etc.

Favorite characters...

This is a section for characters that wouldn't only fit on a category of my F/O list, but also are characters I like a lot over others from their source material, or are just my favorite ones

- Sauron/Mairon/Annatar/many other names from Lord of the Rings

- Daemon Targaryen from House of the Dragon

F/Os list and tags

(there's no specific order, I'll list them in the order I remember them, might add more in the future)

If you wish to interact with any of them feel free to do so, but they can be OoC

Main

- Miguel O'Hara from Spiderverse movies (🩸🕷️)

- Hobie Brown from Spiderverse movies (🎸🕷️)

- Gladiolus Amiticia from Final Fantasy XV (🛡️⚔️)

- Maegor I "The Cruel" Targaryen from A Song of Ice and Fire (🩸🐲)

- Jean-Pierre Polnareff from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (🥖⚔️)

- Robert Edward O. Speedwagon from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (🎩👔)

- Syzoth/Reptile from Mortal Kombat games (🦎🥷🏻)

- Fujin from Mortal Kombat games (💨⚔️)

- Tenya Iida from My Hero Academia (🏃🏻‍♂️🟦)

- Brienne of Tarth from A Song of Ice and Fire (🗡️💎)

F/Os I also love

- Mike Zacharius from Attack on Titan (👃⚔️)

- Reiner Braun from Attack on Titan (🏃🏻‍♂️🛡️)

- Phoenix Ikki from Saint Seiya (🪽🔥)

- Aries Mu from Saint Seiya (🐏🔨)

- Scorpio Milo from Saint Seiya (🦂🪡)

- Gemini Saga from Saint Seiya (♊🌓)

- Thanatos from Saint Seiya (💀⬛)

- Dende from Dragon Ball (🟢🏔️)

- Raditz from Dragon Ball (🩸👊)

- Supreme Kai from Dragon Ball (💜🔮)

- Broly from Dragon Ball (🐶🥦)

- Mezo Shoji from My Hero Academia (🐙🔵)

- Thomas Hewitt from Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies (2003-2006) (🎭🩸)

- Brahms Heelshire from The Boy (🎭🧸)

- Yautja/ Predator: Scar (☠️⚔️), Feral Predator (☠️🐻), Fugitive Predator (💀🔪) from Predator franchise

- Drax the Destroyer from Guardians of the Galaxy (👊🔪)

- Ragnvaldr/Outlander from Fear and Hunger (🐺🪓)

- Nicholas D. Wolfwood from Trigun (🚬✝️)

- Millions Knives/Nai from Trigun (🪴🔪)

- Takeda Takahashi from Mortal Kombat games (⛓️🟡)

- Erron Black from Mortal Kombat games (🩸🔫)

- Kuai Liang from Mortal Kombat games (❄️🧊 as Sub-Zero) (🦂🔥 as Scorpion)

- Zeffeero/Rain from Mortal Kombat games (🥷🏻💧)

- Alucard from Hellsing (🧛🏻‍♂️🩸)

- Toshikazu Hazamada from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (🤏🏻🎾)

- Mikitaka Hazekura from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (👽🍦)

- Rykiel from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (🧑🏻‍🚀🐄)

- Keicho Nijimura from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (🪖🏹)

- Firelord Ozai from Avatar: The Last Airbender (☄️🔥)

- Santana from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (🗿☁️)

- Oingo from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (🎭🧢)

- Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy VII (⚰️♦️)

- Glossu "Beast" Rabban Harkonnen from Dune (🦅🩸)

- Chase Young from Xiaolin Showdown (🐉🥣)

- Kevin Levin from Ben 10 series (👽🚘)

- Adam/The Creature from Frankenstein (🪡📚)

- Aegon II Targaryen from House of the Dragon (🐲🟢)

- Cregan Stark from A Song of Ice and Fire (🐺❄️)

- Cooper Howard/The Ghoul from Fallout TV series (☢️🐶)

Platonic F/Os

- Yuga Aoyama from My Hero Academia (✨💎)

- Narancia Ghirga from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (🍊🛩️)

- Finrod Felagund from Lord of the Rings (🧝🏼‍♂️🎻)

- Lúthien Tinuviel from Lord of the Rings (💃🏻🐺)

Familial F/Os

- Ned Stark from A Song of Ice and Fire (🗡️🐺)

- Aragorn Elessar from Lord of the Rings (👑🗡️)

- Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings (🥔🍳)

[anonymousredactedconfessions]

I'm gonna be real I'm like 80% sure I know who the "People are being so over the line about other people not wanting to hear Sam call Alexis a bitch." anon is. And listen.

My take on the Alexis situation? God sake move on. Me and my little dm of friends have been giggling our asses off because we as a collective have NEVER seen some fucking discourse over the word bitch in ANY fandom. ever. This isn't just target at that person but literally everyone that's said it's sexist to say the word bitch.

Grow up.

Have you been off you computer? gone outside? how chronically online are you. The main two people I saw saying that bitch is a sexist word and no one should be calling Alexis that were. lets just say 18 and under. I need y'all to know in the Adult world people are gonna say those words a lot. if you're finding them that offensive you need to settle down and assess how you're gonna enter the real world.

It's really stupid for discourse like this to be from an audio rp channel. Erik wasn't like "oh she's a bitch because she's a woman." Y'all need to realize how normalized the word bitch is. celebrities call people bitches all the time?? in good and bad ways? how the fuck do you feel about them??

I understand if you're uncomfortable with the word, confused, but whatever. If you're going to be this up in arms about it though you NEED to take a step back. People are gonna call her whatever they want, and if you find it that hard to deal with then if you make a post put your boundaries in your tags. no one is going to check your whole tumblr blog to see "don't call women bitches". most people just scroll the tags to find fresh content.

One last thing. The two people that were saying that bitch is a bad word to say. why did both of you so freely say the f slur then?? if that word is unoffensive, and allowed to be said, why not bitch? If we go down history lane you can see 'f slurs' being killed for just being gay. Not trying to compare or debate what's worse, but being brutally murdered for being queer is pretty bad. almost like your whole speech about how bitch was used to silence woman. so...

C'mon guys. this is an audio rp fandom. if you're not careful this WILL get back to erik and god forbid you all make him more afraid to add any kind of swearing to his fucking videos. christ. (sorry this is so long lmao been pent up about this for agesss)

.

[distortedwhite]

i Need to get this off my chest now that my head has cleared up but i don't wanna be annoying at my friends for bringing this up again because i hold deep grudges. unfortunately i am a bitch

the longer it stewed in my mind the angrier it made me.

i asked someone if they felt guilty their direct actions caused harm to someone. because yknow, humans are fascinating things in good and bad ways, and i was curious how they felt about it. (i did apologize for the stupid question, because out of context it sounds really dumb and patronizing.) the reason i asked is because well. the person scares me shitless, and they kept saying they will use their account as they please because Obviously it's their account and they can do whatever they want. but some of the things they do just rile up the fandom in really Bad ways and stirs up unnecessary discourse and i'm just... yeah of course you can't control your followers but thinking about the consequences of your actions does not hurt. at all. so i wanted to get their thoughts to stop my fear of them LOL we aren't friends but we have common friends so i wanted to at least make an attempt of trying understand them.

the response i get is (basically) Duh, just because i like characters like [insert villain characters] doesn't mean i'm cold and unfeeling and i'm like. i think i was apologizing? i'm not sure but i don't wanna check because i don't want to go back to being depressed. anyway they then proceed to tell me to stop making asumptions and reading things in bad faith which then made me feel bad. they already deal with hate from other people, they didn't need Me to accuse them of being this villain person(TM)

hours later i noticed how fucking odd that was. they tell me to stop reading things in bad faith, but literally accused me of thinking they are cold and unfeeling and a villain??? "well you implied that with your 'do you feel guilty' question" that's what you call bad faith reading.

i get Why they thought that; it's because of all those weirdos who think liking a villainous character means the person condones their actions and behave the same way. but i do not understand why they felt the need to tell me that, when i have been stressing the entire time that i don't think they are a bad person. so i'm now arriving at the thought that They read my thing in bad faith and i'm like... hypocrite much???

you don't understand how Angry this makes me. girl i don't think you should be telling me to stop assuming and reading things in bad faith when you couldn't do the same for me literally 5mins prior. telling me they don't like having their words misconstrued, but literally misconstruing my words and putting things i didn't say into my mouth is fucking rich and it makes me Pissed beyond words

oh yeah i'm now even more scared of them. go me, wanting to be less scared but now i'm More scared

[jamiesugah]

Shipper Tag Game

I was tagged by @heyholmesletsgo.

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore? Ooh, easy one. Danny and Michelle from Guiding Light. Danny was in the mafia. Michelle killed his brother (when he assaulted her). Danny married her to keep her safe from the rest of his family. They were *chef's kiss*. Probably my first introduction to fandom. There were shipper vids, fics, fan edits. And I mean this was, like, 1998, so it's not like the internet was huge back then. And it's not so much that I don't care in that I haven't thought about them in years. I wonder if there are fics for them on AO3.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one? I'd say Han and Leia.

3. Your first fanfic was about which couple? Trip and T'Pol from Star Trek Enterprise. I do not acknowledge that final episode.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of? That depends on how we're defining "fanart". Danny/Michelle had a lot of manips and screencap edits, but the first, like, original art I remember seeing was probably for Ron/Hermione.

5. Have you ever gotten into ship discourse? Dude, I ship Sterek AND Sheith, ship discourse just finds you. But actually the worst for me was when I was in the CSI: NY fandom. People legit hated me there. I got doxxed on LJ. That's one of the main reasons I'm a fairly passive consumer of fandom nowadays. I don't have the energy to deal with that shit.

6. Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently? Oh I have SO MANY NOTPs. I have a lot of filtered tags on Tumblr. Some of them are ships that squick me out, some of them have annoying or abusive fandoms and that turned me off the ship, and some of them are just I don't like them and don't want to see them.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read? I was simultaneously reading a SeanWhite (Not Me) and a WangXian (The Untamed) fic.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs? I mean... Yes?? Have you seen my blog?? SeanWhite and WangXian are the big ones right now but I have so many.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together? Sterek (Stiles/Derek, Teen Wolf) and Sheith (Shiro/Keith, Voltron Legendary Defender). Those fuckers were married, I don't care what garbage "canon" says.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting? Not a specific one, but I used to dislike slash on principle because slash shippers treated me like shit when I was in CSI: NY fandom, so I sort of thought they were all like that, and now all of my ships are queer so there you go.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? I mean, I think if Sterek and Sheith had been 20 years ago, no one would give a shit, but now the purity patrol polices everything. People are still calling us abusers for those, and those shows ended 6+ years ago.

12. What is your favorite crack ship? I don't really have one, honestly. I have a limited amount of mental energy to spend, so I'd rather focus on my OTPs.

13. What is the couple you read the most fanfics about? Total, ever? I think Merthur, followed by Sterek.

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common? Grumpy is in love with sunshine, sunshine & sunshine protector, usually some variation of that dynamic.

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship? Understanding that this is personal preference and I am not casting judgment on what anyone else ships: ships when there is, like, absolutely no evidence that the two people involved have any romantic feelings for each other. I railed against Leonard and Penny on TBBT for so many years because I'm pretty sure they got them together because they "made the most sense" but in actual canon they were horrible for each other. I have no idea WHY I was supposed to want them together.

I'm not going to tag anyone so if you want to do this, go nuts!

[kimtaegis]

„Because I feel like I'm getting less and less interested in anything and everything he's doing and it's making me so frustrated because I did like him as a person and his music as well.” „because I feel like I still like him,” But go off anon I guess. People like you are the reason why I left twitter because you make such a big deal about loving every member no matter what. I do love all of them. But I still have opinions and I can’t like everything. I’m open to what they are doing, I’m open to new music, photoshoots, brand deals, you name it. But I don’t have to and I can’t like everything all the time. And sorry if me voicing my frustration about something that has been bothering me for months and asking if anyone else feels the same way personally offended you. „I still don't think anon is army” well if that makes you sleep better then okay. But you know what, I’m going to tell you something: you are not obligated to like everything. Forcing yourself to say „omg it’s a hit” to every single song they release just so you can be called a true army is not how being a fan should be. Guess what, even if people tweet about every single release and how they love it and it’s a hit and all that, 50% of those people could secretly dislike that song. Because we have opinions. And maybe you didn’t have bad intentions but you really came across as someone who just blindly supports everything they do and you force yourself to like everything. And the fandom has shifted so much and everyone acts like if you don’t like absolutely everything they do then you can’t even like them because you’re not a fan. Believe me, if I could, I’d simply snap my fingers and go back to feeling the same way I felt a few months ago, but I can’t. And that’s what’s frustrating because he hasn’t done anything bad for me to like him less. But thanks for basically stating I’m not a fan just because my interest levels are not the same.

Thank you annie for your answer, and I'm sorry for even bringing this up. I didn't want to turn this into a discourse. I won’t send another ask again.

I hope it’s okay if I don’t go further into anything you said since it was mostly directed at the other person, and let me just end this by saying something about you and me: you don’t have to ever apologise to me for speaking up about what worries you, okay? with hindsight I maybe should’ve just not answered their message and spare you having to read it as well, I don’t know… I was upset too and wanted to make some things clear from my side. I understood what you wanted to express and I’m sorry I let this go as far as you having to justify your feelings to some other stranger.

lastly, because I don’t want any of you to get my text post wrong – you can ALWAYS come here and talk to me about your thoughts and feelings, okay? I said it before but I love that my blog can be this space for you, I happily try to comfort and help you in any way I can, I really do. I’m just not immune to the ‘heaviness’ some of these topics bring with them, and now that I’m much busier with work and my own priorities (have to) shift, it can get more difficult and exhausting than usual to try to find the time, headspace and right words to reply the way I want to you. I hope you can understand that when you talk to me about these kind of things, I start to worry (about you), too, and sometimes it can get overwhelming. just as for everyone else probably, a little light or silly or sweet conversation in between all those heavy topics would do me some good, especially these days. that’s all I wanted to express, really

[cashandprizes]

you... are trying to get my ass in trouble. I'm into it. Thanks for sending the ask <3

Link to the choose violence post here!

1. the character everyone gets wrong

It's probably going to be Alexis. I support women's rights and wrongs, but I think she was in a damned if you damned if you don't situation. Is she just gonna let Sam bleed out? He lived and found his soulmate, or whatever, and seems pretty damn happy all things considered. I want to die as much as the next person but... idk. Doesn't seem like there were any good choices.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

This discourse doesn't really apply to me because I'm a 100% switch on the bdsm test (yes, this is documented) and so I always love switching. And since my fave is either Guy on a good day or Regulus on a bad day, there is only the switch variant. I was never that kind of shipper, even back in my hardcore anime days.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

This will sooooo get me in trouble. But between the "I want to break Alexis's ribcage" and the "people who don't hate [redacted] ship are [long list of words calling people evil and abusive]" and the "if you write dark content or support Erik writing darker content you don't care about people who have experienced xyz" they're all pretty bad. I will not be screenshotting even though I think there's mutual blocking going on, but just know that I'm pretty sure the only reason I didn't also get death threats a month ago was because I had already blocked that person over something else.

Oh also? I hate the idea that the fandom needs to be welcoming to minors as a whole. I love when youths are into a fandom and make friends online, because that's what I did when I got on Tumblr pretty much a decade ago! I'd just like them to do it in their space for minors while I do things in my space for adults. I'm gonna be a whore and I don't need somebody's mama scrolling through their Tumblr and trying to be mad at me when I clearly say minors DNI. I don't understand why I have to make myself kid friendly when I tag my shit and make my stance clear. Literally what it says on the tin.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

I did at one point go through the Alexis tag and just block... so many fucking people for bad Alexis takes. I block A LOT of people without ages in their bio. I tend to block liberally, actually. Um, something that really annoyed me was realizing people couldn't understand don't like don't read. Instant block.

9. worst part of canon

This is a joke but I want more worldbuilding lore of how society functions. I love the lore for like the sky gods and all the old magic but I JUST WANT TO KNOW PRACTICAL SHIT. What happens when vampires go in the sun and does it change with age? How alive are vampires? Why don't my wolf shifters have knots, this is a real problem for me. How big are magical cities? How big is Shaw security? How big are most packs? Do all shifters form some sort of pack/collective group? How do empowered people get access to empowered resources or the internet or radio or tv? Do vampires piss?

I need answers.

Also. When will Erik finally write me the Avior BA using Calico's fic?

More realistically, I wasn't super satisfied with the Quinn ending which isn't a big deal, but I definitely felt like Darlin got wubified by Sam and David at the end. I'm sure some people liked them taking control, but that's the last thing I'd want. Just personality differences and also not the worst thing.

10. worst part of fanon

Why is everyone white?

I've never not been black so I'm used to this in fandom spaces at this point, but goddamn. Racism really is everywhere. Minority solidarity is more mythical than fucking unicorns.