#I want to frolic with the same man in a different run through

[aceofspadegrass]

You know those Time Loop AUs? Yeah, so. Same premise, random thought occurred to me.

Imagine a fanfic series that effectively runs like a game. Like Undertale or really any RPG where you can choose your path every run through. So the fic runs through one version.

Then the next part in its series is, effectively, the same events, but ever so slightly different. You, as the reader, know what happens at the baseline level. You know the story. Hell, you know the protagonist. But this round the protagonist does something different.

Maybe it ends earlier, because the protagonist is a wet sack of bagels soaking in the bottom of a dumpster and fucks up earlier. Just fucking bungles it, dropped the buttered toast face side down.

Doesn't matter, the protagonist returns to the 'start' of the timeline, and they run through it again. Nothing at its story base line changes, other than a butterfly effect. If a monster is in an area, it'll be in that area unless forced otherwise. If there's an important item laying somehow, good chance it hasn't moved.

The protagonist knows this. They are aware that they're reliving everything, and either they go a little mad trying to break the loop, or they just have a nice time seeing what exactly else they could do. They know what happens, they may even already know the good ending.

Why not see if they can fuck shit up. You know, as a treat. It's not like they're going anywhere.

Yeah, it'll suck that any friendships they make will reset, but if you don't care enough you can just see what other kind of relationships you can make, can't you? Why not see if you can speed run an enemies to lovers trope? Why not see if you can stop your once best friend from seeing the Horrors?

A Fuck Around and Find Out Time Loop.

Hell, maybe the protagonist breaks the fourth wall one run-through. Just has a little 'Mind letting me NOT get eaten by rabid squirrels?' moment with the author.

So much can happen in one event timeline. A wibbly-wobbly 'Imagine if we just spent the entire time side questing while the main plot is right there' kind of series.

[kalee60]

i wish you would write a fic where jock!bucky seduces twink!steve, maybe he hits steve with that pec flex guys do that is both dick-ish and insanely hot at the same time?

Oh Manda - you absolute gorgeous gem! I very much like what you're asking me to create here 😘 I also love, love, love that you sent me a prompt!

I immediately think of sun, summer, ice cream, boys at the beach playing frisbee and our gorgeous Smol!Steve and Jock!Bucky as friends mutually pining (Ha - it's me, it was never going to be anything but this story!)

Once again, my quick little drabble (that I wrote today when I woke up {thanks to my sprinting buddies in discord}) turned into a 4k fic... But I mean - I think that's okay (more stucky for us - right?)

I hope you like where I took this, maybe in a slightly different direction than intended - it's also on ao3 here (with all tags necessary) if you prefer to check them out and read there instead, it'll be part of my stucky bingo fills - Beach and rated M for mild sexual content 😉

If you'd like a fic - here's the post - I wish you'd write a fic... (It might take me a little bit to write - but I will get there!)

Steve was in hell, literally. It was hot, he was sweaty and he was being tortured. Honestly, Steve really loved summer, but at the same time he loathed it. And most of that had to do with the fact he had to sit around in his large group of friends and watch Bucky fucking Barnes sans top and wearing only a small pair of running shorts frolic over the sand at the beach.

Life was unfair. 

How could somebody like Bucky actually exist in real time? He was a complete jock for starters, his looks and size perfect for being naturally great at sports, earning him a football scholarship of his choice (of course). And Steve, well Steve Rogers was as far from a jock as anyone could get. Not that he was horrible in the fitness and muscular department, but he was too little and his asthma still played up to join rugged contact sports. Being 5’4 also didn’t particularly endear him to any of the coaches at college who were scouting for star players. Plus studying to be a high school teacher probably wasn’t sporty enough, and he was leaning towards a specialist English role, not Gym.

So Steve joined the campus gym instead of a sporting team, did weights and classes and enjoyed it immensely. It was where he met Natasha, and that fateful meeting brought him to Bucky and his dickish jock ways and friends.

Though if Steve was to be fair (of which he was - usually) not all jocks were dicks, even if Steve had preconceived notions from high school what college boys would be like. He'd been pleasantly surprised to find that the captain of the football team was not only gorgeous, cocky and a bit of a douche, but also very smart, kind and had a smile that could make Steve’s legs turn to jelly with only a small half tilt.

But it was as he sat on a towel under the shade of a large umbrella that Carol had stolen from her parent’s garden shed, that Steve really felt the heat, and it had nothing to do with the blazing sun above him and the burning sand beneath his feet.

It was all Bucky Barnes and his chest, his slim waist, his tanned olive skin, the breadth of his shoulders, the thickness of his sinewed and muscled thighs that tapered down to calves that bunched up as he jumped and landed to grab the frisbee aimed at him.

Steve sighed heavily as his gaze lingered on the brunette. Bucky Barnes was every mans wet dream, every girls perfect prince, and Steve pulled his dark sunnies over his eyes again, ignoring the pounding in his chest, the throbbing in his groin as he watched Bucky behind dark lenses spring up and prance over the sand, laughing with a wide mouth that could do sinful things to Steve’s body. The worst part was that Bucky was doing all of this with no knowledge that Steve harboured the biggest crush of his life.

It really was unfair.

Sitting back to lean on his hands, stretching his legs out, he saw Bucky glance over at him, and gave a smile. Bucky grinned back and then grappled Sam to the sand to yank the frisbee from his grip. Life wasn’t unfair because Bucky didn’t date guys, he did, very much so, and girls too from what Steve had seen, it was just the guys Bucky dated were typically more like… jocks.

Steve hunched over, trying to not stare too long and inadvertently get turned on, finding it an impossibility as his eyes wouldn’t tear away from Bucky’s frame as he bounded effortlessly over the soft sand, something Steve couldn’t do. He’d almost lost a lung from the trek over to their secluded spot earlier that day. Soft sand was the enemy - that was fact.

“Heads up.”

Startled from his thoughts by Bucky’s deep voice urgently calling out his way, Steve looked up only to see the frisbee coming straight for him. With a reaction that even surprised himself, Steve raised his hand and caught the flying disc with nary a blink of an eye.

Bucky was skidding to a halt on his knees before him a second later.

“Shit, Steve. That was epic, you sure you don’t want to play? You can be on my team - my secret frisbee weapon.”

Steve’s mouth went dry as he tried to listen to the words leaving Bucky, because the delectable man was less than two feet away and the smell of sunscreen, sweat and something virile and uniquely Bucky entered his senses. Steve knew that if sitting next to Bucky in the dining hall was torture when Bucky was wearing his spicy cologne, he’d keel over being enveloped in his sweaty beach scent for longer than a minute. 

God he wanted Bucky to fill him, everywhere. Make him forget his name, take him over and over.

He realised that he still hadn’t answered and heat crept into his cheeks, managing to blurt out, “I’m good for now. Nat’s grabbing ice creams and I don’t want to get a stitch.”

Steve then gave Bucky what he hoped was a soft and cheeky winning grin, but the way Bucky faltered, swallowed tightly, face impassive made Steve wonder if he’d missed the mark on trying to be flirty.

He really was as hopeless as Darcy continually told him.

Steve’s eyes trailed down to Bucky’s broad and lightly haired chest, finding himself breathing quicker, wondering if he’d remembered to pack his inhaler. No, he was sure it was in the pocket of his backpack. Thank god, he might need it in the face of Bucky’s glorious muscles moving in his vision all day.

“If you’re sure,” Bucky finally said in a deep steady voice.

“Maybe later,” Steve stammered, holding up the frisbee with a shaky hand. He had to get a grip.

“Alright, later then, I’m holding you to that.” And Bucky took the disc from Steve’s grip and was off bounding towards Sam, Carol, Thor and Maria.

While Steve recalibrated his thoughts, Nat came back holding only one ice cream cone, licking it slowly with a sparkle in her eye as Clint trailed behind, wearing Nat’s beach bag and carrying the rest of the ice creams, and Steve worried she’d overestimated his balancing skills. But if Nat asked, Clint would do - it was kind of amazing the power she had over him without even trying. Although they weren’t dating (yet), Nat was never cruel, she was playing the long game and really liked Clint, but had been hurt before by some Russian asshole, and Steve knew that Clint, when Nat finally agreed to go out with him would never be the same man again. He’d be lost in deep shock and joy. They were perfect for each other.

A pang went through his gut as Steve watched them, taking a cone from Clint, wishing he had someone that wanted him as much as they wanted each other.

“Vanilla,” Nat commented with a scrunch of her nose at Steve’s choice as he took a lick of the creamy goodness, the chill on his tongue welcome under the heat of the day. “You’re so very basic, Rogers.”

“Hey there is nothing wrong with that. I happen to love vanilla.” A rich voice said from right in front of Steve as Bucky flopped down on the sand, kicking up little grains that stuck on Bucky’s thighs where he was sweating. Steve shut his eyes against the picture before him, once again pleading to any God or Goddess that would listen that it wasn’t fair, that they had to find him someone one day. He just hoped it would be soon, else his dick drop off from Bucky unwittingly giving him blue balls.

“You’re one to talk, you didn’t even want ice cream, just a soda. And a club soda at that.”

Bucky looked over to Nat, flashing her a wide grin, and Steve immediately started to lick his ice cream just to do anything but stare at the crinkling in the corners of Bucky’s eyes, or to watch his lips as they wrapped around the bottle tip. He only half listened to their banter as they kept teasing each other, Nat and Bucky having been best friends from childhood, the reason how Steve inadvertently fell into the group of jocks, for a lack of a better term to encompass all the fit people he was now surrounded with.

Nat had introduced him to everyone after they’d hit it off at the gym in first semester, and Steve had waited for the inevitable teasing to commence about his small stature, but it never came. He was always included, never mocked (unless it was called for, because he was a facts man and couldn’t help correcting people when they were clearly in the wrong) and it was such a novel experience, so how could he not fall immediately in lust with the football captain? One who had smokey blue-grey eyes, sinfully full lips made for kissing among other fun activities and a personality that you could fall into and live inside forever.

“Err, Steve… your ice cream, it’s ummm, dripping.”

“What?” Steve asked, realising that he’d been swirling his tongue over the top of the soft confectionary and that his fingers were now completely sticky as the ice cream dripped over them on to his thigh. “Oh shit.”

Steve immediately switched hands and started to lap at his fingers, tongue darting between them to catch all the creaminess, sucking them into his mouth one by one, only looking up when he heard a muted groan. Bucky was moving before him, squirming in the sand, and as his eyes landed on Bucky, he startled, surprised to find Bucky’s hooded gaze directly on Steve. But his eyes hadn’t landed just anywhere, they were trained to Steve’s mouth, and as Steve swiped his finger through the sweetness that had dribbled on his thigh, Bucky’s gaze followed that finger's movements. Steve without thought, heart thumping hard, confusion and awe flowing through his veins, stuck the digit in his mouth, licking off the stickiness. 

Thankfully, Steve had his sunglasses on, hiding his expression, but he knew his face was burning red at the brash and overt display. Bucky was watching him intently, the rise and fall of his gloriously thick chest heaved, and Bucky’s skin flushed from the exercise or maybe the sun. Steve wasn’t sure.

But it was as Steve licked around the base of the cone again, the ice cream melting quicker in the heat than he could swallow, Bucky’s pecs twitched.

Steve stopped all movement, caught at the tick of flesh, the way it bounced taut, watching with abject lust and desire as Bucky did it again - knowing exactly where Steve’s eyes were trained.

It was such a fucking dick move, a power move to get attention and Steve hated jocks who flexed like that, but on Bucky… on Bucky it was god damn mesmerizing. And it was after the third time Bucky’s pecs jumped, Bucky stood up abruptly and fled saying in a higher pitch than usual that he was jumping in the water, that Steve realised he might not have been doing it on purpose.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bucky was dead, he was going to die from being hard for... how long had he known Steve Rogers, six months maybe? Well, that was how long he’d survived with a non-stop boner for the blonde man. And he was at the end of his tether.

Steve was everything Bucky ever wanted in a partner, smart, strong, intense, funny, handsome  and a person that he could fall into, spend time with - love.

So it didn't help his little issue to be at the beach that day, watching Steve sit under the huge umbrella on brightly coloured towels in his swim trunks and a loose tank with arm holes so big he could see all the way through to his muscular chest and pink nipples. It was driving him fucking insane. 

Sure he’d seen Steve wearing an array of items at the gym, but he’d never witnessed him so carefree as he was at the beach. He was smiling more, relaxed, joking while big sunglasses hid those gorgeous eyes that would give the ocean a run for its money as to what was bluer.

But what killed Bucky that particular day over every other day he lusted after Steve, what made him clench and twitch all over was watching Steve lick up his ice cream. It was downright obscene, Steve shouldn’t be allowed to do that in public, or at least he should have a warning sticker on his person.

Steve had a mouth made for sucking cock, and Bucky wanted, no, he needed to know what having those lips wrapped around him felt like. Christ, he wanted to know what it felt like to be buried in Steve, maybe even have Steve press into him. Fuck.

There was only one thing for it.

He had to seduce Steve, and he had to do it soon.

But that begged the question - how?

How did Bucky capture the attention of the smartest, funniest, quick witted and grumpiest man on campus? Not only that, but to have Steve take him seriously? Bucky was aware that people thought he was only a dumb jock, that all he had to offer the world was to play ball and shit talk other teams and work out in the gym. Which, yeah of course he did all of those things - but he really was so much more. He was studying economics, was thinking about trying to specialise and work as an international trade specialist after college, and although Bucky really loved playing ball - it wasn’t his whole life. He’d never go pro - well, not without a hell of a lot of luck and persistence, and he wasn't sure he really wanted to take something he enjoyed and make it a living in that way. He’d seen how broken some sports stars bodies were after a career, and he still wanted to be able to walk at forty without having had three knee reconstructions.

But Steve, Steve saw through all of that, he spoke to Bucky like an intellect, like he had something worthy to say, to add to the conversation. Even at the gym after Nat had introduced them (Bucky begging to know who the gorgeous guy she was chatting to on the rowing machines was) Steve and he worked out together, had fun catcalling each other for being weak and helped each other with their forms - something Bucky largely did just to get hands on Steve even though Steve’s form was perfect.

Bucky had been taken with the slight man from the first moment he’d seen him, always under the impression that Steve was too smart to even think about dating a meathead like him, even if he truly wasn't what his physique made him. So he stuck with friendship, but now he wanted more. Was going to ask for more.

“Whatcha thinking?” Nat asked as she swam out to float in the water next to him.

“Nothing much,” He replied, ignoring her knowing hum. He hated that they’d been friends forever and she knew all his tells.

The much needed cold water had soothed his itching skin, and from his vantage point he could look back at their rag tag group of friends, able to stare unabashadly at Steve as he laughed with Clint and Thor about something, staring up at Thor as he... as he fucking flexed in front of Steve.

“Easy boy,” Natasha grabbed his bicep that was taut from clenching his fists, “Thor’s with Jane remember? Steve’s not interested in someone like Thor anyway.”

Bucky’s eyes swung to her immediately. “What do you mean? Because he's a jock?”

Nat let out an exasperated sigh. “No you idiot. Because he’s interest lies elsewhere.”

“Oh,” Bucky’s chest squeezed tight, wondering who had Steve’s undivided attention. And he couldn’t help but watch Steve as Carol held out a hand to pull him to his feet, and suddenly Bucky forgot his disappointment when Steve pulled his tank off, revealing a gorgeous toned body in all its glory. Bucky’s dick stirred. Thank fuck he was hidden in the water.

“You are a colossal idiot. You know that right?” Nat deadpanned.

“I have to ask Steve out,” he blurted. “I need to… I need to be with him.”

“I know,” Nat said with a smirk, and Bucky looked at her gratefully, if she helped he would be fine. “But that really sounds like a you problem. Have fun with that.”

“You horrible cow,” Bucky sniped back, ready to splash her, but she was already under the water stealthily swimming up behind Clint, only to dunk the unsuspecting man. 

Bucky’s attention suddenly caught on movement on the shoreline as Steve stood knee deep, testing the water and with no further hesitation, dove in, coming up for air not far from where Bucky floated. Bucky watched mesmerized as the sun glinted off Steve’s wet eyelashes, before he wiped the droplets from them, smiling at Bucky.

“Oh god, this water feels amazing.”

“So would you,” Bucky whispered.

“Huh?” Steve asked.

For a long moment, Bucky stared at Steve, realising that sound carried over water differently and Steve most likely caught what he said. Seducing someone was hard, even though he hadn’t even tried yet.

Instead of answering, Bucky ducked his head so his mouth went underwater and swam towards Steve like a shark, deciding that he just had to ask him point blank, no messing around with seduction. Slipping up out of the water at the last moment he put on his most predatory smile, Steve’s eyes widening and he looked around, face flushed and Bucky hoped he wasn’t looking for an escape.

He quickly darted behind Steve, wrapping his arms tight around his lithe body, trying not to linger too much as Steve was the perfect fit, felt so good against him; and when he heard the small gasp from Steve’s throat he launched him into the air. Flinging Steve into the water a few feet away.

“You fucker,” Steve exclaimed laughing as he came up for air, and Bucky smirked.

Suddenly with a smirk of his own that made Bucky inhale sharply, Steve disappeared under the water, Bucky feeling him come up underneath his body and with a strength that belied Steve’s small stature, completely turning Bucky on more than it should, he was pushed up out of the water, throwing him completely under as well.

“Jesus, Steve. You should join the team.” Bucky spluttered when he came up for air.

Steve grinned back, pushing wet hair out of his eyes and Bucky stared, lost in how stunning Steve looked in the sunlight, that he was there before him alone in the ocean full of people, “I mean they already have you and Sam as Captains. Wouldn’t want to put either of you out of a job.”

Bucky laughed, “I don’t doubt you’d do it too, Stevie.”

And when Steve stopped smiling, Bucky realised what he’d said.

“Shit, sorry - you don’t like that? Nicknames?”

“No I... I do…” Steve answered softly, and Bucky became lost in a blue that matched the water they were treading.

“Would you get out with me?” Bucky blurted.

“Sorry? Get out of the water?”

Bucky internally facepalmed himself. “No, I mean go out.”

“Out. With you?”

Bucky nodded.

“Err, why me?” Steve asked in a small voice lost on a gust of wind.

Looking at Steve, who stared back at him with questions in his eyes, Bucky wanted to explain how much he’d desired it for months, to tell Steve all the ways he wanted to make him happy, and as a multitude of words sat on his tongue, Bucky suddenly understood Steve might not listen to his reasoning, might not believe him. So he decided to show his intent instead, and swam closer. Steve’s eyes were wide, guileless, Bucky seeing a small spark of something more, and hoping he wasn’t triple jumping over a line, he swam up behind Steve. He felt Steve tense up, anticipating to be flung into the water again, but instead, Bucky pulled him closer so that Steve’s back slotted against his front and leaned in, mouth only an inch away from Steve’s ear.

“Why you? Oh Stevie, you have no idea how gorgeous you are. How much I want you.” Bucky pressed his nose against the back of Steve’s ear and inhaled deeply, sunscreen, salt and Steve’s shampoo filled his senses and he lost his head for a moment, especially when Steve let out a high pitched groan and wriggled back into Bucky. “I want to spread you out beneath me, I want to lick all the sweat off your body, sweat that I'm going to cause from working you hard, making you work extra hard for my dick, because Stevie - I want you, I want you bad, and I think you might want me back just as much.”

Bucky hoped he wasn’t completely off base with his desires, that Steve really was just as interested, and when Steve ground back against him, skin sliding against Bucky’s, letting out another moan at the friction when he felt Bucky hardening up underneath him, Bucky knew it was going to be ok.

“Yes…” Steve whimpered as his shorts caught against Bucky’s dick, pushing backwards.

“You want that baby?”

“Fuck. Yes, I do.”

“How much?”

Steve spluttered, and Bucky couldn’t help chuckle at the noise. “What do you mean?”

“How much do you want it?” Bucky knew he was being a prick, making his pec’s tense against Steve’s back, pulling him onto his lap as they floated in the water, before wrapping a leg around one of Steve’s pulling it to the side, making Steve gasp gorgeously.

“A normal amount,” Steve husked back.

“Oh, you want me a normal amount - is that all?” Bucky smirked before licking a sloppy stripe up Steve’s neck at the same time as he snuck a hand down the front of Steve’s swim trunks, gripping his dick tightly, feeling the impressive length and girth for the first time. Fuck, he was definietly not taking switching of the table. But not anytime soon. First, he wanted to take Steve apart in every way conceivable.

Steve meanwhile, was liquid in his arms, going slack as Bucky took his time to explore while they floated in circles not far from the shore, but far enough out they wouldn’t get in trouble. He hoped. 

The moans tearing from Steve’s throat were getting louder though, Bucky loving every noise punched out of Steve as he stroked harder under the water, the friction and pressure of the water making him slower and more languid than usual. And Bucky wanted to make Steve call out with no thought or boundaries, nothing to stifle his pleasure, he needed Steve coming in his arms, again and again.

“I think you might just want me a little more than that.” Bucky rasped against Steve’s neck, sucking a bruise onto his pink skin, giving Steve’s dick another sharp tug and before he knew what was happening, Steve was shaking in his arms, whimpering out a release and Bucky was speechless. Utterly speechless as he continued to stroke Steve slowly, carefully as he jerked in his hand.

“Holy fuck, you’re stunning, gorgeous, the absolute best,” Bucky rambled into Steve’s neck, nipping kisses and pressing his lips against him in absolute awe at what had just occured.

Suddenly Steve moved, spinning himself around to straddle Bucky and he went under for a moment as their weights shifted and came back up spluttering, only for Steve to launch himself so his lips pushed against his. Steve took over, devouring his mouth, and although Bucky was the one in control, holding them both up, he’d never felt so out of control as Steve writhed and ground down as best he could in the water. Shit, Steve was going to be a handful and Bucky was there for it.

As he kissed back, grabbing the back of Steve’s head, holding him still as he pressed his tongue in deeply, a huge beach ball smacked into the side of his face. They jumped apart with a gasp.

“Don’t make me go get the hose!” Nat yelled out as she and Clint swam around nearby. “It’s about time you dolts wised up, but this is a public beach with you know - families.”

Bucky watched as Steve’s face flushed a perfect shade of red, and he couldn’t help but grab him again, giving him a quick intense kiss, claiming Steve until he struggled for breath, to show Bucky’s intent was clear and true. It was pure perfection.

“We’ll pick this up again later.” Bucky promised.

“Later.” Steve replied breathlessly.

Suddenly Steve pushed himself away from Bucky, grabbing and throwing the beach ball, hitting Clint dead on the nose. The surprised yelp from both Clint and Natasha made Bucky laugh.

“Oh it’s so on, James,” Nat yelled out.

Steve piped up from his side, “you wish, Romanoff - we’re gonna take you down!”

Bucky beamed.

“Yeah!” he called over to them, dodging the ball that came directly for him as Nat and Clint shit-talked. And as he and Steve swam out to retrieve the ball floating behind them, Bucky turned to Steve and gave him an overtly salacious wink. “And once we take them down, I’m going to take you home and show you what going down is all about.”

Steve burst out laughing. “Really? That was incredibly lame, especially for a savvy sex-crazed jock.”

“You’re not interested in my proposal then?”

“Oh I’m interested,” Steve grinned, licking his lips and Bucky caught his breath. “But if you’re going to use dad jokes on the regular - I might have to start calling you something else in the bedroom.”

Steve then threw the ball, Nat ducking at the last minute, and Bucky didn’t even feel when the returning pitch slammed into his head; Steve’s words creating a delicious cacophony of images and filthy thoughts in his mind instead.

Bucky had always known that Stevie Rogers was going to be both the life and death of him, and as he rubbed his head, grasping the ball in one hand, ready to throw it, he couldn’t wait to see where their adventure would take them.

But first - Clint had to pay.

[cute-angi]

Tagged by @esperata​

Rule: list your favorite (male) characters from ten different fandoms

That's very difficult

SSDD - Same Shit Different Day

Stephen King's Dreamcatcher - Douglas Cavell

Duddits! There's no explanation there. It's Duddits! Love him!

The Riddler: Edward Nashton (Nigma)

I don't think it needs a big announcement that this was coming. As soon as I lost myself in Arkham and heard his transmissions, I was blown away. That's when I fell in love with him.

Final Fantasy XV - Verstael Besithia

I know what everyone is thinking right now. Why doesn't it say Ardyn? He's the cool villain after all. Or where are the chocobros? Nope... I already liked grumpy Verstael and then episode Ardyn just made me see pink-red as soon as I saw the trailer. (My interpretation of him, of course, has only become so "cold-hearted" over the years. You know how it is with fangirls...)

''The artist has a duty to seduce the ear and delight the spirit.... Say hello to an evening with Sander Cohen!''

Bioshock - Sander Cohen

I thought about it for a long time. And first I wanted to mention the Lutece twins. Those two are always my favorites. Then I thought of Augustus Sinclair. A man of honor! I love Sinclair. And Bioshock contains so many more brilliant characters. There are no bad ones. But then I just had to go with Cohen, because Fort Frolic won't let me go. Especially after reading Rapture and having more insight into his character. This man just so often reflects what most of us are like at our core. We are artists of the world and so vulnerable because of it. We walk the narrow path between madness and genius.

Because we're talking about artists...

The Evil Within - Stefano Valentini

I am, after all, someone who likes Tchaikovsky. And yes, of course the first game, was often better than the second. The second one didn't cost me much effort. I hardly managed the first one on easy at first. And Ruvik is one of the most interesting characters ever. But Stefano, like Cohen, has something ... strangely great about him.

Strange... I'm about to be hated by everyone.

Avatar The Last Airbender - Long Feng

Okay... okay... listen to me, please. Of course Iroh is the best character in the series and has helped me through so many stages of life.But I have a thing for really bad guys and as I get older, tastes change. Well, Long Feng is just sneaky? But he runs the Dai Li and through it he owns Ba Sing Se!  Hello? Of course I watch AsianDramas and yes please make me your queen. So I finally live behind safe walls.

"There is no war in Ba Sing Se" Okay... can the Dai li please adopt me as a lost princess?

Now that we have the embarrassing behind us, here comes something all too understandable:

Resident Evil (Village) - Karl Heisenberg

Instead of Male Characters, the rules should say, "Favorite Daddy Characters."

Okay...I have to do it...break the rules....

Mommy? Can I please stay up late and play with Bela, Cassandra and Daniela? I love this woman. Mommy!

Okay...don't forget the love for Donna!!!! Donna Beneviento~!!!!

Let's get serious again.

1, 2, 3, 4... Did you miss me, Monte d'Or?

Professor Layton - Descole

I triggered you guys with that quote, didn't I? Randal is really wonderful.I have just replayed Miracle Mask. But I've been in love with that damn guy since part 4. Descole is My childhood love that comes back every year.

Kingdom Hearts - Xehanort (And Eraqus)

Here again my love for evil. I never dared to admit that I love "Ansem" so much in the first game. Well..... now I'm allowed to and it's just the character around Xehanort that enchants me. But Xehanort doesn't exist on its own either. Only with the best of the best: Eraqus!

And now we come to the anime track:

Attack on Titan - Willy Tybur

I really like Levi a lot. But I'm also someone who tries to jump off the hype train. I like Levi. And I love Zeke Yeager. But with the first appearance of Willy Tybur in the manga... phew my heart. I was hoping at the time that he would still be the Warhammer. There' s a lot of content lost on his family.

Because we are talking about manga:

Naruto - Tobirama Senju (and Izuna Uchiha)

It's been a long time since I watched or read Naruto. But it helped me through my "most difficult time". I have the sign of the Senju clan tattooed on my back. And it always gives me strength to get through everything. And with Tobirama you also have to like Izuna. With him you love Madara and with this Hashirama. Oh these four... my heart.

[baeklooming-day]

Carousel of daisies | Baekhyun

🪄 Summary: A ghost who’s prison has been a magical carousel loved by kids for long decades, a ghost who will be set free only if he meets his soulmate, his daisy.

🪄 Genre: Ghost!AU, Soulmate!AU, Magic!AU, fluff

🪄 Word Count: 6.8k

🪄 A/N: Thank you Baekhyun for inspiring me. I love you.

🪄 Listen to Amusement Park 🎠

Masterlist.

1904

Amusement parks were without a bigger question a beautiful and colorful place to be, full of bedazzling joy and kids’ laughter.

Some of them were the wandering type of an amusement park, appearing and disappearing again in a particular spot, just to offer their candies and lights to everyone in town to enjoy with their loved ones.

Some people liked to call these parks „the pop-up amusement parks”, and even though usually they would announce a similar visit to make all the parents in town aware in advance of the soon to be frolics of their kids in a complete awe of the many jolly attractions which they were always so eager to try for themselves, the so awaited and cherished amusement parks used to simply move in a week or even a few days later without even caring to leave a notice to let it be known that they would be soon taking all the fun away again, leaving it a mystery if they would come back, or if another wandering amusement park was about to visit in their place anytime soon.

Apparently a lot of families thought of it to appear to be an even greater issue for the amusement parks to disappear so suddenly and quickly as if under a magical spell than to visit in the first place, so with the passing of time lots of different complaints had been filled and submitted to the mayor’s office, demanding to simply do something about it, to find a good enough solution to prevent all the kids in town from throwing big tantrums as soon as they learned that the park left, and at the same time to give them something equally as merry and bright to enjoy themselves in their leisure time.

To gift all the kids something to give them joy whenever, everyday, something what would stay and never go away, something what would always be bound to just be there no matter what.

An own amusement park was unfortunately, but unquestionably out of the question. The reason was not because the town could not allow themselves an expense of a similar level, but because there wasn’t really anyone who was actually willing to dedicate their hours during the day to look after the place and all the possible guests and screaming kids.

A simple, traditional playground had been crossed out of the suggestions list as well, alone for the fact that there already was a plenty of new colorful playgrounds around the town, and an additional one would obviously not be the most desirable thing in place of the amusement parks which the kids loved so much.

So everyone continued thinking carefully, everyone was contemplating and asking themselves what thing could possibly be the best choice out of all ideas named previously. Or perhaps the most entertaining idea had not been listed just yet?

Some well founded features had been kept in mind throughout the whole process of weekly brainstorming between the citizens, and those were that the new entertainment for kids in town should be, before anything else, something very particular and timeless.

And just as they thought that there was not such thing when nobody seemed to be able to come up with a suitable idea, someone simply threw the totally random, yet immediately enthralling suggestion.

„Let’s build a carousel.”

Almost all pairs of eyes present by the discussion snapped into the direction of the owner of the voice at the same time.

„A carousel?” Asked someone at the other side of the long table where everyone else was sitting.

„Yes, indeed.” Answered the same smooth voice. „We have a lot of playgrounds around our town, and some of them do have carousels but these are not really what I have in mind.”

„Enlighten us.”

„Let’s make it a carousel worthy of those standing in the biggest amusement parks as of now. In that way, the kids would have a piece of an amusement park everyday, but it wouldn’t be that big of a struggle to keep it together than a whole park, you know what I wanna say?” The owner of the voice slowly leaned back in his seat, waiting for a response from his fellow citizens.

„Well...” Someone started. „I know what you mean. But is it even possible to pull this off? Those large carousels are almost an artwork themselves with how they look, in all these precise tiny details and colorings, let alone the mechanism inside them to make them move. Are you sure-”

„Yes.” Responded the smooth voice. „I want to do it. I need to do it.” A small pause. „For my son.”

„For your son?”

„Yes. For Baekhyun.”

„Awe, the little Baekhyun, always all over every carousel at playgrounds, right? Alright. I think your idea is good.” Said someone else, agreeing with the idea.

The young man smiled contentedly in his seat.

What wouldn’t a parent do for their own child in order to make them happy?

When the meeting ended, everyone who became enthralled with the idea rushed to prepare plans of realization of it almost right away.

The common excitement reached its peak, when many long months later after thoroughly planning and working on the project, it finally appeared, standing in the middle of the square in all its glory.

The carousel.

All the kids in town became immediately bewitched with the news, and as soon as they came to a view of the large, strikingly colorful and joyful merry-go-round displayed right before their big eyes, the cheering couldn’t find an end.

As good as every child fell in love with the newest attraction, but one particular little someone was markedly left in awe way more than all the other children.

A very little boy, with the softest locks of hair colored like pearls, was walking around the carousel with his little mouth agape, looking at it from every angle, kneeling on the ground in his lilac trousers to take a look at that joy from down below.

„Do you like it, Baekhyun?”

„Oh, yes!” The little boy exclaimed. „I love it, dad!” He quickly pulled himself up and approached his smiling father in jumping steps. „I loooooove it! I love it so much I wanna stay in that carousel forever!”

The young man let out a soft laugh. „Be careful what you wish for, my dear Baekhyun. It might really come true, sometimes differently than you originally wanted.”

Baekhyun looked up, with his brown eyes seemingly confused.

„But talking is not what we are here for today, is it?” The man said briefly, putting his hand on Baekhyun’s little head, gently caressing his pearly hair. „Do you want to make the honors of the first official ride on the carousel?” He asked, a wide smile making its way back on his lips as soon as he noticed the unduly frolic expression on his son’s face.

„Yes! Yes, I do want to!”

2004

The weather was outstandingly cold that afternoon, significantly much more colder than you were able to recall remembering the whole past week.

It was very, very early but awaited spring which has finally fallen on the quiet town, and if one was observant enough, tiny and green leaf blossoms which were just about to start blooming sometime soon, as if still too timid to break through their delicate shell and spread all over the branches of the trees soaking them in green, could be seen from a distance.

The afternoon, just like the whole day, has been cold, but as if to make up for the not so particularly pleasant temperature the sun was gently throwing its reassuring and comforting gold gleams and twinkles everywhere you could look, making a soothing, almost idyllic atmosphere at the square which merely appeared before your big curious eyes.

It was the first day when the sky was not all covered with weighing dark clouds, so you were continuously emanating with clear joy knowing that even if it took you the longest time ever, you had convinced your mom to take you to the square to play in the afternoon.

And now you were finally out there, letting out a sudden squeak of joy as soon as you came to a view of what you have been longing for ever since the first time as you heard your grandmother mentioning it at their home.

The beautiful, sparkling carousel full with colors, lights, and children’s happy giggles as it moved around spinning their world on that jolly merry-go-round ride.

“Mom!” You called out to your mom with as much volume as a four-year-old little girl could master, noticing how she was left far behind you because of how slowly she proceeded to walk. “Mom, mom, mommy! Look! Walk faster, mommy!” You continued to yell.

“Heavens, Y/N.” She exhaled, shivering a little as the cold breeze blew in her smooth face. “I am not used to these temperatures, not used at all.” She added under her breath, but not loud enough for you to hear.

You gave her a questioning look with your dazzly eyes. “Are you cold, mommy?” You asked, scooting a little closer to her and wrapping your small arms around her left leg.

“Yes honey, mommy is cold. Look-” She bent down to match your level, taking your little hands in hers. “Do you feel it? Cold as ice!” She said with a smile audible in her soft voice as she watched your eyes sparkling even more.

“But I am immune to coldness!” You exclaimed proudly.

“You are my little ice queen, yeah?” She soothed the wild silky locks on your small head, messy from the wind and from running. “But I feel like I will freeze if I stay like this any while longer.” She looked to the side, her eyes becoming instantly as big and sparkling as yours when she noticed a lovely coffee and tea house with people lining up to the entrance.

Your mom said something to you then, but as much as all your focus has usually always been on your mom, you did not hear a thing whilst your attention was brought somewhere else, your eyes being glued to something what seemed like only visible to you.

People were walking past him, not giving even one look, as if he was invisible for them, whilst in the background right behind him there was the colorful object of your awe, the carousel, spinning around with other laughing kids.

He looked as if he was frozen in a motion scene, just standing there calmly and holding a flower. He was wearing a sweater in a dark shade of teal, with two visible white stripes and blue and orange flowers at the front. His hair was of a color equivalent to a real pearl, his loose light locks looking as if they radiated some mysterious kind of gleam from within, just as if made of stardust.

The boy looked at you, blinking slowly, and you looked back, deciding to send him a candy smile as you felt some weird sort of warmth filling your young heart the longer your bright eyes stayed locked with his dark ones.

You were being pulled to the carousel and to the mystical boy with pearl colored hair, or at least that was how you felt when you suddenly let go of your mom’s hand, feeling a peculiar need to run in his direction.

But before you could do so, you felt your mom’s still very cold hand clasping around your own. “Y/N, did you hear what I just said? I said that I will go really, really quickly to buy a hot steaming coffee to warm myself up, alright? You will be a good little girl and will stay by the carousel until mommy comes back, will you?” She said. “You can already get on, I will be back before the ride ends, alright?”

You only nodded eagerly, earning a comforting smile from your mom as she dashed to the coffee place which was just two steps away from where you two were standing.

You quickly turned your little head to look at the boy again, but the moment your eyes landed where you saw him just seconds ago, you immediately noticed that he was gone, nowhere to be seen, as if disappeared in thin air. Nonetheless, you decided to walk up to the carousel, not wanting to believe that this mystical person wouldn’t appear before you in a minute again.

Baekhyun immediately felt this too, in the moment you came into his vision. He would lie if he claimed that he was not taken by a complete surprise as the unforeseen wave of peculiar warmth rushed to fill his ghostly heart. There was a time when he longed for this particular feeling to find him, there was a time when he would stay alert every minute of the day and look for you himself as much as the unbreakable bond which held him close to the carousel allowed him to.

It has been one hundred years since the carousel was built.

And it has already been eighty two years since he died.

Nobody would even ever suspect that the beloved and only son of the man who gave the town that marvelous, magical carousel, would leave at the young age of just twenty two, one windy day in 1922.

Baekhyun himself wasn’t too content to recall the events which took place in that memorable for his loved ones year. The mere thought which flashed through his mind the moment everything went dull, was his careless childish wish from when he was just four years old and went to see the newly acquired carousel with his father.

When he said that he wanted to stay in that carousel forever.

His wish has been granted to him, what he learned as he woke up in the carousel, being almost violently pulled back to it every time he tried to leave, as if some angry, invisible, formless force was clasping its claws around his limbs to send him flying back to the twinkling merry-go-round which became his mocking prison.

There was one way to break this unusual link and to set himself free.

In order to be able to perform that, he needed to meet his soulmate.

He didn’t know how he even knew that, but right after his awakening in the carousel, this thought was one of the first things which appeared between his returning memories of his life which he left behind way too soon for the looks of it.

Baekhyun was full of hope at the beginning, but as the following years flew by and his soulmate didn’t appear, he started to lose the last sprinkles of hope that he had left.

That was the reason why he was feeling so dazed and confused, so flabbergasted and refusing to believe what was occurring around him the moment you looked at him with your sparkling eyes and smiled at him warmly.

He knew it was you.

His soulmate.

The happiness was unfortunately soon replaced by a bittersweet feeling of disappointment as soon as he realized that standing there and smiling at him just a few steps away was a little girl, around four years old.

Even if you found him now, you were much too young to fulfill his floating dream of love and freedom, and he was perfectly aware of that.

He knew that he would have to wait for you even longer, until you became older and could love him properly.

But that didn’t necessarily mean that he couldn’t talk to you now already, did it?

Baekhyun swirled the little daisy flower in his fingers, taking a decisive step next to you, the little girl with sparkling eyes.

You made a jumping beeline to the colorful carousel, your mouth forming a little “o” at the view of shining figures of white horses which were spinning around happily.

You scrunched your little nose unamused, as you noticed all the horses being occupied, the ride not looking like it was about to end too soon as well.

“Why is everything taken?” You asked grumpily, throwing longing glimpses at the carousel.

“Do you want to ride on the merry-go-round too?” Asked an unfamiliar, velvet like voice coming from beside you.

Your little head instantly snapped to the direction of the sound, your eyes looking up to meet those of the owner of that melodic voice speaking to you.

“Oh!” You exclaimed. “Oh! You are the starry mister!” You said in awe, pointing your little finger at Baekhyun, examining his face.

He let out a soft chuckle, kneeling beside you to be on your eye level. “Starry?” He asked.

“Your hair looks like stars! So pretty!” You said, reaching out your small hand to sloppily caress his pearl locks in a childish manner.

Baekhyun felt another wave of warmth flowing through his foggy ghost heart, feeling a loving smile spreading on his lips. Seeing your natural childish curiosity and amazement, he was happy that he could witness it when you were still a little innocent child, yet to learn lots about life.

“What is your name?” He asked.

“My name is Y/N!” You replied joyfully. “And you?”

“Baekhyun.”

“So you are the magical Baekhyun.” You stated.

“Magical? Do you like magic?” Baekhyun asked.

“Yes, I do! And I like flowers too!” You answered.

“Flowers? Which flowers do you like?” He asked you another question, before looking at the white daisy which he has been holding in his hand all that time. “Do you like daisies, Y/N?

“I like daisies!” You replied. “And I like you, Baekhyun! You are nice and you have pretty hair!” You added, giving him a candy grin.

“Is that so?” Baekhyun couldn’t help it but mirror your genuine smile. “Will you be my daisy?” He asked, holding up the flower for you to see.

Your sparkling eyes fell on the little daisy immediately. “Yes, I will be your daisy!” You reached out your arm, squealing in joy when Baekhyun placed the small flower in your open hand.

“This is a promise, okay?” He said.

“Of course!” You nodded in agreement, even though you couldn’t understand it just yet.

The little magical moment was interrupted though, when suddenly the familiar voice of your mother filled the air, reaching your ears.

“Y/N! There you are!”

“Mommy, are you warm now?”

“Yes, I bought a coffee. Look!” Your mom happily held up a steaming cup of coffee, the steam visible as a faint white cloud in the chilly air. “Have you been standing here the whole time? Didn’t you want to get on the carousel?” She asked a little bewildered.

“I was talking to Baekhyun!” You said smiling.

If your mom looked bewildered before, now she must have looked totally puzzled. “Baekhyun? Who’s Baekhyun?” She asked.

“My new friend with hair that looks like stars!” You said, but then you knitted your eyebrows. “Mommy, he is standing right next to me!”

Your mom’s eyes looked at you, then at the air beside you, before she let out a deep breath and gently took your hand.

“They told me that having imaginary friends is normal at that age, yeah, they definitely told me that.” She mumbled to herself whilst sipping on her hot coffee, leading you away from the carousel.

You quickly turned around to have one last look at Baekhyun, still standing by the spinning carousel with his hands in his pockets, his eyes following your small figure. “Bye, Baekhyun! I will come back!” You yelled, waving him goodbye with your right hand.

“Y/N, stop it! There is none there! And let’s hurry, the wind is becoming worse, ugh!” Said your mom.

Baekhyun did not move, he stood like that as long as you were still visible in the distance.

He smiled.

Of course your mother could not see him. You were usually starting to lose the ability to see beyond living beings as you were becoming older, and little kids couldn’t tell the difference between a living person and a ghost.

Baekhyun put his hand on his head where your small fingers touched his hair, smiling softly.

“Until we meet again, my daisy.”

2021

“Woah!” Said your friend, Lorena, whilst whirling around and taking in the blooming sight of lovely cherry trees being planted everywhere you could lay your eyes. “You weren’t lying, Y/N, this town legitimately looks like out of a Disney film.” She added, stopping right next to you and your other friend, Lily.

“I told you multiple times.” You said with an elfin sneer.

“You did, but when was the last time you actually visited this place?” Asked Lorena. “When you were a toddler?”

You gave her a little judging look, only for the three of you to burst out in genuine laughter not even two seconds later.

You were nearing your 21st birthday with every following day, and because this year was of a particular meaning to you for many different reasons, you decided to spend it with your two closest friends in the charming small town where your grandparents lived, and recall the memories of when you were playing there as a little child one day in early spring.

But it was not the only reason why you were walking through the old climatic streets with buildings covered in green ivy just now.

As of lately, you have been having peculiar dreams.

You never linked any meaningful value to your dreams, merely because you just didn’t believe that there was anything extraordinary to that, a dream was after all just what your brain went through to “filter” itself at night, right?

But this time was quite different. You kept having weird blurry dreams where the only thing you could really make out of it was a colorful merry-go-round full of warm lights on the background of blurred delicate shades of gold and yellow. Sometimes it was the only object visible, but sometimes you could also see something else.

In the first dream in which you witnessed it, you couldn’t really tell what it was. The figure was standing before the spinning merry-go-round, looking as if painted with delicate, but messy brush strokes on a flawless canvas, forming a mix of dark and light colors. Knowing you, you just decided to completely ignore it, not thinking too much about it the next morning when you woke up. But as the days passed, you kept seeing that mysterious figure by the merry-go-round, with the difference that with every following dream it was becoming more clear.

More clear, but not clear enough to tell every little detail. All you could really tell was that it was clearly a person, just standing there, holding something in their hand, whilst their hair seemed to be glowing under the lights of the slowly spinning carousel behind them.

When these dreams have not left you alone for a whole month, you finally decided to visit the small town you knew from your early childhood, for it was the only place you knew which you could connect with the mystical merry-go-round you saw in your dreams every night as soon as you closed your eyes.

“Ey Lily, do you think there is a Starbucks somewhere?” Asked Lorena.

“I don’t know, but I saw a really pretty coffee place somewhere as we walked here.” Answered Lily, brushing her a little too long lilac dyed bangs away from her forehead. “It looked really old school, if you ask me. Oh, look, it’s there!” She pointed to a small building between the pink cherry trees, its walls seeming to be shimmering in a beautiful rose gold color.

“Oh my, it’s even cooler than Starbucks! Let’s go in there. Y/N?” Lorena turned around to look at you, but you couldn’t hear a word she just said.

Your sparkling eyes were glued to the one and only thing standing majestically in the middle of the square you knew so well from your memories and dreams.

The carousel.

It has not changed, it has not changed even a little from what you could tell, still being as colorful and merry as the last time when you saw it all those long years ago.

There were kids spinning around and laughing, other people just walking by, the scene awakening some kind of nostalgia inside you, knowing that this view was indeed very, very familiar to you, bringing back the events of the idyllic year 2004.

You were left there in awe, admiring the happy sight, when out of nowhere you felt a little wave of a warm feeling, as if comforting warmth flowing through your heart.

You felt your eyes widening a little, when in the moving crowd of other people you noticed a person, standing still and looking straight at you, with locks of very light, glistening hair.

Subconsciously, your feet took one, two steps ahead in the direction of that mystical person, feeling the peculiar need to just run to them.

But just as you took another step closer and wanted to look more closely who it was, the person disappeared, as if instantly brushed away with a magical spell.

You stopped, confused, looking around to see if there was anyone with such a light hair color, really resembling a pearl.

But there was none, no matter how carefully you looked.

“Y/N! Where are you going? Did you hear what we just said?” Asked Lorena, placing her hand on your shoulder, looking a little bewildered. “Left unattended you just start wandering off, just like when we were in school!” She paused, before talking again. “So listen, apparently there is a newly built game arcade just around the corner, how cool is that? And apparently, they have the old school Super Mario there! So Lily suggested that we go get a coffee at that pretty store there, and then we go to the arcade seeing that the night is falling already-” She took out her phone, checking the time. “Is it a good plan or is it a super good plan?” She asked joyously, looking at you.

But you were only half listening, your eyes still looking for the person with pearly hair between the people. “Y/N?” Lorena started again, her soft voice sounding a little concerned once she noticed your dazed expression. “What are you looking at?”

You brought your attention back to your friend, looking at her with two big question marks visible in your sparkling eyes. “I just saw someone. Someone familiar.” You replied, letting out an audible gasp when once again, before the merry-go-round, you saw him.

Now you could see clearly what the mystifying person looked like.

It was a boy. More or less around your own age. He was wearing a dark teal sweater with a floral pattern on it, and his hair was resembling a shining pearl. The soft looking locks of light hair were sliding gently on his forehead as he ever so lightly tilted his head to the left, his mystical eyes not leaving yours for even a split second.

“He’s standing right there, by the merry-go-round.” You said quietly, pointing your finger to the said direction.

Lily and Lorena both followed the direction where you pointed, but soon ended up giving each other, and yourself, puzzling looks.

“Um, Y/N, boo, there is none standing by the merry-go-round.” Said Lily. “Everyone is walking, besides the kids playing there are also going home already.”

You looked at Lily in disbelief. “But Lily, he IS there, the boy with-” You paused, feeling the already familiar warmth spilling on your heart the moment the boy smiled at you. “The boy with hair like pearls.” You said, just a little above a whisper.

“I really don’t see anyone like that, Y/N.” Said Lorena, now gently taking your hand and pulling you away from the carousel. “Let’s go and have a drink, okay?”

You nodded faintly, letting your friends take you away to the coffee place mentioned earlier.

There was no way that none else beside you could see the boy with pearly hair, whilst he was clearly just standing there in one point, not moving even an inch and instead just his eyes being fixated on one point in front of him.

On you.

He had this undeniably peculiar aura to him, he didn’t seem like just any regular person you could meet around on a daily basis, not even addressing the obvious until now fact, that everybody else genuinely seemed to not be able to see him standing there.

You watched the sky through the large glass window inside the lovely coffee place, as it became always darker and darker as the night was falling above the town.

You were holding your half empty, but still steaming, dark mocha in your small hands, contemplating whether your eyes started playing tricks on you or if you indeed saw what you saw just moments ago.

“So, girls.” Started Lorena, as soon as she finished her own cup of coffee, wiping away the cream from her nude lip. “Seriously, let’s go to that game arcade. It has been so long since we all played something old school like that.”

“I told you, my ideas are always the best.” Said Lily. “Y/N?”

You were just about to give your friend an answer, when briefly you caught a glimpse of a pearly head outside by the merry-go-round.

You flinched immediately, taking the last sip of your mocha and quickly standing up from the table. “Listen, you two can go ahead to the arcade, I really need to check something first. I will join you there later, okay?” You said, not even waiting for your friends’ reply and running out of the building.

“I’m a little worried about our Y/N, to be honest.” Said Lorena. “She literally looked as if she saw a ghost.” She added.

“Me too, if I’m being honest.” Said Lily. “But something tells me it isn’t anything bad. Let’s just go to the arcade and wait for Y/N like she told us to do. If she doesn’t show up within twenty minutes we will call her or just come back here.” She added, finishing her own drink.

By the time your friends left the coffee place and directed themselves to the game arcade, you were already circling the still illuminated, but completely quiet by now, merry-go-round. You were more than totally sure that you saw him standing just here again, but by the time you got out of the store and reached the middle of the square, he was nowhere to be seen.

You sighed in disbelief, running your fingers through your long silky locks.

The otherwise full of beans big square, was now completely quiet and empty under the dark blue night sky, all covered in twinkling stars creating a real magical atmosphere.

The majestic carousel, the object of your complete acclaim when you were just four years old, was still wholly illuminated and bright presenting itself before your eyes.

“Why is everything so quiet.” You said quietly to yourself.

“Last time everything was way too crowded, wasn’t it?” Said a velvet like voice, right next to you.

You flinched, startled a little by the sudden unfamiliar voice.

Or was it really unfamiliar?

Your head instantly snapped to the direction of the sound, making your jaw drop in awe, disbelief, and total surprise all at the same time.

Right before your eyes, there was the mystical boy with shining pearly hair and chocolate brown eyes which looked at you in a longing way.

“You are-” You started, still flabbergasted. “You are the boy with hair like pearls.”

“Pearls?” Asked the boy. “But I clearly remember you used to call it hair like stars.” He said softly.

Your eyes widened a little. “What? Wait.” You paused. “Do I know you?” You asked.

“You might know my name but you do not remember the owner.” He replied.

What on earth?

You were left a little, and by a little you wanted to say a lot, dazed and confused by his words, so as silly as it might have sounded you decided to change the subject by asking him a random question. “Um-” You started. “I saw the number 1922 engraved in the carousel, was it the year it was built?” You asked, looking at him with your sparkling eyes.

Her eyes are still as sparkling as I remember.

“No.” The boy replied, his voice smoother than anything else you have ever heard. “It was built in 1904.” He added.

“Woah.” You said in a genuine amazement. “Respect to those who take care of it, it looks as if it was newly built. But why is there 1922 then? Shouldn’t it be 1904 if it was the year it was built?” You asked, tracing the fine lines of detailed colorful engravings on the carousel.

“Do you know the story of this carousel?” The boy asked.

You looked at him, shaking your head, a sign for him to continue speaking.

“One of the noblemen of this town built this carousel for his only child in 1904.” He started. “1922 was the year when his son passed away.” He said in a quiet tone.

A little frown fell on your scarlet lips. “How old was he?” You asked.

“Twenty two.”

“Just one year older than me.” You muttered to yourself. “What a waste. He had his whole life ahead of him. What was his name?” You said.

“His name was Baekhyun.” The boy replied softly.

You paused for a brief moment, frozen.

Baekhyun?

You were sure you have already heard this name somewhere.

When you didn’t reply, the boy continued talking. “This carousel was of a great meaning to him.” He said. “And during spring time, he liked to collect daisies on the hill over there when he was little.” He added, looking at you warmly.

“Daisies?” You asked, feeling as if some old, forgotten memories were coming back to you the moment he said the name of these little flowers.

“Yes, daisies.” He said, a small smile falling on his soft lips. “Do you like daisies?”

“Um, yes, I do like daisies.” You replied slowly, not knowing what was the peculiar feeling which has flown over you just now.

The boy took a decisive step closer to you, soon you felt his cold hand very gently taking yours, not breaking eye contact. “Will you be my daisy?”

And then you felt it, everything coming back as if in a flash. The cold early spring day in 2004, you with your silky locks disheveled by the wind, the beautiful carousel, and the ghostly, mystical boy holding a single daisy, invisible to all the people around, but to you.

And then you also remembered it.

You remembered it when that boy with hair like pearls told you his name.

His name was Baekhyun.

“But, but-” You started, looking at him with big eyes. “No, this is impossible. You look-” You paused, breathing in and out. “You look just the same as then.” You were still feeling the cold coming from his soft hand, you gently squeezed it as if to prove to yourself that it was not a dream. “Could you really be the same Baekhyun who I have met here all those years back?” You asked in disbelief, your sparkling eyes twinkling in the moonlight as you looked at the mystical boy before you. “Could you be the same son of the nobleman who built this carousel? The same Baekhyun who died in 1922?” You asked in a quieter tone, not believing the sight before your eyes. “Is this really not a dream?”

She remembers.

“I have waited seventeen years for you to find me again, my daisy.” Baekhyun’s chocolate eyes were now just as sparkling as yours, little happy twinkles dancing in them as he reached his other hand to very gently cup your cheek, bringing your face closer to his.

You just looked at him in awe, the familiar feeling of warmth filling your heart spilling all over you again as he tenderly placed his lips on yours.

The moment your lips touched, you immediately noticed that his equally cold hands and lips started becoming warm, living, losing the ghostly cold they held before.

Without even being aware of this, your own free hand circled around Baekhyun’s neck, letting him kiss you in the sweetest way possible and letting yourself kiss him back.

The moment his lips left yours, you suddenly heard a loud sound similar to that of a breaking glass somewhere near the carousel.

With your arm still around him, you watched as Baekhyun’s eyes fell on the carousel, or more like on the ground next to it. You looked at the ground flabbergasted yourself, when laying there, completely broken, were immense chains made of the thickest glass.

The wave of warmth flew over you one more time when Baekhyun turned his head to look at you again, a light scarlet shade starting to color his once milky and bloodless cheeks.

Your fingers lingered a brief while before gently placing themselves on his cheek, the previous cold being completely gone, instead you felt the warmth coming from within his skin.

Just as if he was wholly alive again.

He appeared to become aware of this too, when he placed his own hand over your small one, feeling his lightly flushed cheek. “Am I-” He started in disbelief, his chocolate eyes widening. “Am I alive?”

You yourself were left in a complete awe even more than before, being able to do just as much as to look him in those brown eyes and nod eagerly, repeatedly.

It was crazy, the whole day in this small town full of magic, and you were more than sure that the most people would never believe it or simply give you stupid looks.

You were more than sure that none would be in the position to actually understand the unusual events which took place by the old merry-go-round, but you wouldn’t be too surprised, because you couldn’t really understand them yourself.

All you knew was the warmth which filled your heart always more and more, the longer your sparkling eyes stayed locked with Baekhyun’s brown ones, and the longer you stayed locked in his warm embrace.

Your eyes traveled over every little detail of his handsome face, until your fingers gently brushed away his pearly bangs which fell on his eyes.

He was perfect.

“So” You started softly. “I will be happy to be your daisy.” You said.

And you could swear, that this particular smile which appeared on his lips was the most enthralling thing in the whole universe.

“You will?” He asked, smile audible in his velvet like voice.

“Yes. Yes, I will.”

You stood there, softly smiling at each other, living in the moment of a magical marvel.

All you could see in that beautiful while was all the life which was coming back to Baekhyun’s eyes, the eyes which were lifeless and foggy just moments ago.

What you failed to see were your two best friends, Lorena and Lily, standing just some feet away, observing the lovely scene in awe.

“Do you see that, Lily?” Asked Lorena. “I would suggest you and me both make an appointment by the eye doctor, that boy with hair like pearls or whatever is REAL. Y/N really saw him there, but we did not?” She said, rubbing her eyes as if to make sure that she was seeing right. “And damn, he is handsome. Holy freak, they are both beautiful. My eyes start to hurt from all this beauty.”

Lily let out a genuine laugh. “You know what, Lori, let’s just go. Something tells me that those two have a lot of stuff to catch up on.” She said, taking Lorena’s hand to gently pull her away.

“Buuuut-” Said Lorena. “I really wanna know who he is.”

“An old friend?” Said Lily, whilst leading the still talking Lorena away.

Meanwhile, you and Baekhyun were still standing in the same position next to the colorful merry-go-round.

“You know, I actually never got to get on the merry-go-round.” You said.

“Well then-” Said Baekhyun, throwing a quick look at all the empty white horses reflecting the magical lights of the carousel before looking back at you. “Do you want to go on a merry-go-round ride with me?” He asked, a little pending audible in his velvet voice.

“Yes. Yes, I do.” You replied.

If you thought that looking at the carousel alone was a magical sight, then you surely felt as if you were in another magical dimension whilst you were spinning around on one of those snow white horses with Baekhyun right next to you.

The moment was even more magical, when a very soft and pretty melody reached your ears, sounding as if it was coming from inside of the spinning carousel.

Merry-go, merry-go, merry-go-round...

Beautiful you on the merry-go-round.

The lights of the merry-go-round have indeed always been beautiful and bedazzling, but right in that moment, that warm night, nothing could be more brighter than the twinkles in your sparkling eyes, and Baekhyun’s chocolate brown ones as you spun around for the tenth time.

It was perfect.

Author’s End Note: Thank you for reading! Don’t forget to REBLOG if you liked it and leave me your opinions! It helps to improve lots! I know that the ending might not be what everyone likes, but it seemed right to me to end the story in that and not another way. I really hope you enjoyed this, and seeing that this is the first story in 2021, I wish you all the luck and wonders in this year, and I genuinely hope it will be full of magic!!

[imagines--harrystyles]

Love is Complicated (part 2)

Reflecting on the relationship and memories from Y/N’s perspective 

Also I’m currently listening to Coney Island (Taylor Swift ft The National) so it’s definitely a vibe haha, hope you enjoy :)

----

A few days had passed since Harry left and you felt yourself slowing slipping through the cracks as you tried to process all that had happened. 

“Y/N what happened?! I thought you guys were going to get engaged this year! You guys were always perfect together, I just can’t believe this!” Gemma all but shouted through the phone. Even though she was Harry’s sister, she had also become one of your best friends since you’d started seeing Harry. 

“I know, honestly everything just got screwed up and I don’t even know anymore, Gem. With him leaving all the time and our lifestyles being so different, I just don’t know that it could work anymore.” You sighed as you heard your friend do the same on the other line.

“I know it’s hard, it’s not a normal life that Harry has but you guys had been figuring it out all these years, what changed?” Gemma didn’t sound accusatory or upset, just concerned. You were grateful you had her and, even though she wasn’t thrilled you hadn’t reached out to tell her what happened with Harry but instead had to hear it from him, she knew this was hard for you. You had talked with her about what you’d want your wedding to look like, how you looked forward to Harry’s dad jokes once he was actually a dad and the life that you were both hoping you’d build together.

“I don’t know, I think we both just got tired. We were both drained and couldn’t fight for each other anymore I guess,” you responded glumly. 

“Harry I’m so tired, I don’t know if I can make it to bed,” you sighed happily, sitting in the backseat of a black SUV with Harry as a driver pulled into the driveway to the home you shared. 

“Mmm, ‘ll have to carry ya in then,” Harry responded in the same light tone, both of you having consumed a large amount of alcohol and now coming down slightly so you both felt happily buzzed. 

The car came to a stop then, and you were surprised when Harry jumped out of his side of the car immediately. You laughed when you heard him bump into the door next to you and heard a muffled “ouch” before he swung open the car door. 

“M’ lady,” Harry smirked as he seemed to effortlessly scoop you into his arms and turn towards the front door with you in his arms. “Harry!” You squealed as he tripped on his own feet, causing you to almost plummet onto the cement. “Shit,” Harry laughed as he regained his balance and strengthened his grip on your back and underneath your legs. Finally reaching the front door, Harry fumbled around trying to find the key in his pocket while simultaneously holding you as you smirked at this clumsy and beautiful man. 

“Harry just let me down so we can go inside,” you laughed, but he did not follow your command. “Baby, I am carrying ya into this house whether ya like it or not,” he responded before planting a wet kiss on your nose. Finally finding the key, he spent way too much time trying to fit it into the lock on the door before tripping into the house with the two of you rolling on the ground before laughing together for the next five minutes. 

You walked out the front door after talking with Gemma, finally having the bare minimum amount of energy you needed to make the short walk to the grocery store to buy some more laundry detergent and other small items you needed for the house. It was a sunny day, almost aggressively so, and you almost felt like it was mocking you. You felt so glum and, wallowing in your sadness, you wanted to see a cloudy and gray sky that matched your mood. The bright blue sky and blinding sun just didn’t feel right.

As you made the short walk to the store, you passed by the little park that you’d walked by a million times before. It looked so much different now, however, as so many things did.

“I’m in the mood to frolic,” you told Harry as the two of you strolled, hand in hand, into the little park that had become a favorite spot for the both of you. Harry laughed before squeezing your hand a little tighter and then spinning you in a circle. “Well let’s see it then.” Harry looked at you with a childish grin, and you felt so young and free. You loved when Harry was in this mood and you felt like yours was matching his on this particular day. 

“Mm, I don’t want people to look at me. You first,” you responded, grinning at Harry as you imagined the videos on the internet of the Harry Styles having a frolic in his local park. It was a beautiful day and there were so many people out and about, you were surprised no one had recognized him and asked for a picture yet.

“Fiiiine.” Harry drew out the word, and you just laughed as you turned to continue walking through the park. You couldn’t help the squeal that made its way from you as you turned to see Harry frolicking- no, prancing - through the park. You quickly noticed all the eyes on him, many finally recognizing him while some just pointed and laughed. 

“Well don’ leave me hanging, love. Come frolic!” Harry yelled as he continued to run slowly and then sporadically leap into the air. And despite the eyes that were now on the both of you, you ran after Harry feeling exuberant and like a child.

You finally dragged yourself into the store that you had made your way through so many times before, but it felt different now. Everything felt different. You and Harry would always laugh at the moody playlist that would be playing throughout the store, which you thought would be kind of depressing if you were here alone. You were never here alone. Until now. 

Sheryl Crow belted out the heart-wrenching chorus of “If It Makes You Happy” as you meandered through the produce section, looking for the good apples that didn’t taste bitter and gross. You stopped in your tracks as you passed the kiwis, staring at the sad looking fruit and almost smirking at how depressed you were feeling at that moment because of a stupid fruit.

“Ooh Harry look, kiwis!” You pointed and laughed as you and your boyfriend made your way through the store. Harry rolled his eyes and pouted, just as he did every week when the two of you passed through the produce section and you pointed at the kiwis and laughed. “Like the song,” you added, just for extra clarification.

“Yes thank youuu,” Harry drew out the word, pretending to be annoyed. He thought it was cute how you thought of him every time you saw certain fruits.

“Why is the song named Kiwi anyway? It just doesn’t make sense to me,” you asked, slightly kidding but also curious to know the answer. 

“I don’t know it just... fit the vibe,” Harry responded with a smirk.

“Oh shut up,” you laughed as you put more kiwis than anyone would need or want into a plastic bag and threw them into the cart, causing Harry to squawk before picking up a watermelon and pretending to throw it in the cart. Except he accidentally let go and it broke open on the floor between the two of you, this time causing you to squawk and run away as fast as you could, Harry cackling behind you. 

You left the store without a single fruit in hand as you made the short journey back to the house you two shared. Tears welled in your eyes as you felt lonelier than ever before, wondering if Harry had even thought of you since he left. 

[preciousthingsareprecious]

Finding Us Chapter 20

Insert Mushu’s I liiiiive gif here because Finding Us is back! My goal for this year is to get this fic finished, because as surprising as it may seem I don’t think there are that many chapters left waiting to be written. 

I hope you guys enjoy it, and I am so sorry for the just wildly long delay between chapters. 

AO3 Link

~

Titus moved at a faster pace than Damian was willing to run. He watched as his dog scampered ahead on the sidewalk, pausing here and there to sniff at trees or examine bushes and flowers, but always darting forward to something new and interesting. Still, he stayed within Damian’s line of sight, and even paused to look back at him every so often with an inquisitive tilt of his head.

Damian had allowed the dog off his leash after Titus’s excitement had almost pulled him off his feet. It had been a few days since he’d been able to take him out for a proper walk, and the dog was eager to stretch his legs and explore. Damian wasn’t worried about Titus getting into trouble, he was well trained and the chance of meeting someone else was slim, especially since they were walking the path between home and Drake Manor. It was private property, and far enough from most civilization that few bothered to wander out here for fun.

He was happy to follow the animal at a slower pace. He refused to admit that Pennyworth’s reminder that he was not fully recovered yet had been accurate. His inability to balance properly earlier, had nothing to do with his head. Neither did his lethargy. He was simply tired from the stress of having to worry about Drake.

Everything was Drake’s fault, even Damian’s escape outside. Damian had needed to get away from the tense atmosphere filling the house, and the tension there. So he’d claimed Titus needed a walk, promised to return soon, and scurried away from Father and Grayson’s grumpy voices, irritated with their lack of progress. Damian was frustrated himself, having worked from the early morning and past lunch alongside everyone.

Damian bit his lip before huffing, Drake was an imbecile.

Honestly, did he not realize this was an issue he should have spoken of before now? It was as if he thought he could ignore weirder than normal stalking and it would simply go away.

He kicked at a pebble, sending it arcing through the air to thump against a tree trunk. Drake had not learned anything apparently. It was one thing to hide it from Damian, he could understand that. They still did not have the best relationship (little relationship at all if Drake could have his way and Damian did not want that), but he would have expected his brother to have spoken to Grayson or Father at the very least. But no, Timothy had not even considered how his family would see the situation, had not thought of what allowing that psychopath to get close to him would do to any of them.

“The fool.” Damian mumbled.

At his voice, Titus stopped his examination of a stump and ran back to him to butt his leg for a moment. When Damian did little more than give him a quick pat to the head, Titus ran forward again.

Damian wished he were still home, digging through information. Part of the reason he’d taken his walk was because he’d been banned from doing just that. He had been outvoted. Father, Grayson, and even Todd had insisted it was time for Damian to take a break and see to his growing headache. As if any of them were resting. It was too much fuss over injuries that were paltry. He might not be as irritated if Grayson had been forced to rest as well.

The man was as stubborn as Father. While he had been partnered with Grayson, Damian had been told of his brother’s famous hard head, but he had not truly realized it until he began to work with the man. He wondered how the two ever worked together when disagreeing, their attitudes were so similar. When they got it in their heads to do something, they were almost unmovable. Like Titus when he refused to give Damian his favorite stuffed toy.

Damian could be that stubborn. He had many times, but when faced with not one but two people wielding such power, well he’d much rather find an alternate means of helping. He did make a mental note to sway Father to his side in forcing Grayson to rest later. He would not be the only one bullied into a break.

Drake Manor came into sight as Damian and Titus moved out of a tree line. The building was not as stately as Wayne Manor, but it was kept up well, even with Drake spending hardly any time there anymore. Damian liked to think that if he had a whole mansion to himself he’d use it more than Drake did. Though that might get lonely. Perhaps he would use it the same way his brother did: as more of an escape than anything.

Now that he was here, Damian’s reasons for coming felt shaky at best. He had been so sure of himself when he’d snatched the keys to the estate from Drake’s room and decided to secretly investigate. He’d hoped that-- well Damian wasn’t sure what he’d hoped. To find the stalker here? Camped out at Drake’s childhood home sifting through his mail or something? It felt silly. Like he was grasping at straws.

It would be even sillier to turn on his heel and leave, so Damian stomped ahead. He turned the gate key in his hands, Drake had probably already been out here, searching the grounds for any signs of his stalker. Father too would have come to look. And Todd and Cain and Grayson and the whole lot of his family. Damian was simply last to come up with the idea.

“Tt,” he said, and put the key into the lock, turning it until he heard a click.

The gate swung inwards, giving Damian access to a spot he was sure would lead to nothing. But he would not give up. Grayson used to-- and sometimes still did -- give him cases to read over that he thought he’d solved but wanted ‘fresh eyes on’. When Damian had asked why, when they were already solved, Grayson had said that everyone saw things differently, and a new perspective could reveal things everyone else missed.

Damian was going to be the new perspective.

He decided to check the inside first, and circle around the grounds after. That way if he took too long and someone came looking for him Damian would have managed to explore most of the spot he was most curious about.

Titus darted through the open gate off to explore the new area. Damian let him frolic for the time it took him to approach the house then called the dog over to him. He’d rather have his friend close by through the exploration.

Only his whistle didn’t catch Titus’s attention, and when Damian didn’t see the dog coming close, he looked up to search for him, the keys dangling in his fingers.

Titus stood close to the front gate to the driveway, growling, with his ears pulled back, at a man. The man stood very still, even separated by wrought iron.

Damian hurried over to stand near Titus, “Hey boy, it’s okay.” he said, resting a hand on the dog’s head and frowning at the person Titus had decided was no good.

The man looked to be in his late forties, with dark hair speckled with some grey, and deep lines on his face. He was dressed plainly, and in a coat and gloves that were appropriate for the weather only if he’d planned to stay out late. Everything was done in dark tones, with nothing that really stood out. What was most interesting was the fact that a small envelope was held tightly to his side in one of his hands.

Damian did not glare at the man since he did not wish to make him bolt, but every fiber of his being said there was something very wrong about this guy.

“Can I help you?” Damian asked, raising himself up and filling his tone with as much authority as he might have in addressing one of Grandfather’s men who’d stepped out of line.

“Hi, you wouldn’t happen to be Tim Drake would you?”

Damian’s heart sped up, and he squeezed his hand around Titus’s collar, “I do not think I should tell you. I don’t know you, and so far you have not introduced yourself.”

“Oh, sorry, I’m Joe, I’m an old acquaintance of your dad’s.” The man gave Damian a smile that felt a little too bright, “Listen, I’ve been out of town for a couple years, and well I came by to give my condolences and just say hi. We used to be pretty close back in the day.”

He thought Damian was Timothy. Well then he couldn’t have been that close a friend. Damian shared a hair color with his brother, that was it. It should be obvious he was not the son of a supposed ‘old friend’.  

“Timothy is my brother, and he would not appreciate you snooping around. Now I would kindly ask you to leave.”

Titus’ growl turned into a bark, and he tried to pull away from Damian to lurch at the man. Damian held firm, but did not hush his loyal friend.

The man glanced down at Titus and back up at Damian, “Alright, okay, I’ll try calling ahead next time. Have a nice day.”

“Wait--” Damian called, as the man turned, “Did you not have a letter you wished delivered?” he pointed to the envelope clasped close to the man’s side.

“Oh! Yeah.” The man smiled, “Will you give this to your brother? I wasn’t sure if I’d catch him or not, so I thought I’d say hi with it.”

Damian stepped a little closer to the gate and took the offered letter. It did not seem to weigh much, and might have been what the man said. He gave him a sharp nod of dismissal.  

Once the man was gone, Damian turned and hurried back to the manor at an almost sprint. He would have run, but moving quickly was making his headache return and he was not certain the man he’d just run into was Drake’s stalker or not. It could be a false alarm.

When he returned home he came in the back he quickly examined Titus’ paws for mud or any pebbles he might have picked up on the walk then let him run into the house. He paused in the kitchen where Pennyworth was enjoying a cup of tea.

“Back so soon?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I have brought news.” Damian told him, “Where are Father and Timothy?”

“Downstairs with the others. Might I ask what this news is?”

“I ran into a strange man on my walk. He was attempting to enter Drake Manor.”

Pennyworth straightened at this, and looked Damian over. “That is news.”

Something told Damian that the butler was not just reacting to the man, but Damian’s involvement. He seemed concerned, but in that way that said he was trying to hide it.

“I was perfectly safe.” Damian said, “Titus was there and the gate was between us. I had planned to examine the house for clues to help the search.”

Now Pennyworth’s lips turned up in a smile, “I see. Well then, head downstairs. I’m sure the others will be interested to hear of your news. And I expect you back up here in a reasonable amount of time. Breakthrough or not, you are still recovering, and I could use a hand with dinner.”

Damian nodded, “Of course.”

He made his way out of the kitchen and down to the cave at a more sedate pace, knowing Pennyworth’s eyes and ears were on him, alert for any sounds of Damian “exerting” himself. Thankfully it was not long before he was exiting the elevator and moving into the cave proper.

There, he found Father at the computer, with Richard leaning over his shoulder as they both read something. Todd and Drake were sparring on the mats while Cain watched, and Brown did handstands. Damian stopped just between the practice mats and computer to watch them all.

Upon seeing him, Brown dropped from her handstand to wave, “Back from your walk?”

Richard turned to frown at Damian, but before he could send him back upstairs Todd spoke up, ducking under Drake’s fist.

“Nope, you are not supposed to be down here, Squirt. Upstairs before Alfred figures out you’ve snuck down.”

Damian huffed, “I did not sneak anywhere, Pennyworth is aware of my location. While you all have been dallying I have made a breakthrough in Drake’s case.”

Todd froze, and took a kick directly to his stomach for it. He oofed and doubled over while Drake scrambled to make sure he was fine. Father and Richard both turned fully in Damian’s direction.

“What do you mean, Dames?” Richard asked.

“You weren’t supposed to be doing case work upstairs either.” Father reprimanded.

“I was taking Titus on a walk.” Damian defended.

Yes he had been planning on sneaking case work into the walk, but it really hadn’t come up, so technically he was still telling the truth. He had only really managed the walk before he’d run into “Joe”. It was pure luck he’d come across the man at that time. If he had been any slower or faster he might have missed him altogether. Or perhaps even been mistaken for Timothy inside the house. That might not have gone over nearly as well as the meeting at the gate had.

“Well what did you find?” Drake asked.

He and Todd had straightened and were moving closer. Cain and Brown kept back, they were interested, but leaving things up to those who’d been closest to the investigation so far.

Damian held up the letter, “A man gave this to me outside Drake Manor. He initially mistook me for Drake despite claiming to be an old family friend. From his manner and way of speaking I suspect he is either Drake’s stalker, or someone hired by them to drop off the latest threat. In either case he was a terrible actor.”

Drake snatched the envelope from Damian’s hands and tore it open before anyone could stop him. He removed a single sheet from within, stared at it for a moment, then silently handed it over to Father.

Father read it, his face darkening with every line he scanned. Damian resisted the urge to stand up on his tiptoes to peer over the sheet and read what was on it. Whatever it contained, he was certain it was more of the same creepy and unsettling information Drake had been receiving for a while now.

Part of him thought he should have opened the letter himself before presenting it to the family. It had been an oversight to just hold it out as he had done. What if there had been something dangerous inside? And to have put more threats upon Drake like this, after they were trying to stop everything--it was embarrassing. He should have checked.

But then again, Drake would have insisted on reading it. Everyone would probably insist. Still, it wasn’t the letter that was important. It was the person who had delivered it.

“Damian, you said you saw the person who delivered this?” Richard asked, looking up, concern on his face.

He nodded, “Yes, I can sketch him, and we should be able to use it to identify him.”

Todd moved over beside Damian, and ruffled his hair, “That’s great! Even if he’s not the guy, he’s connected with him, this is a good lead.”

Damian scowled, and ducked away from him, “It was simply luck. I was in the right place at the right time. If not, we would only have another creepy letter.”

“And boy is it creepy.” Todd said, yanking the letter away with a whistle, “He said he likes the smell of your shampoo on your pillow? Ew, and also totally false unless he somehow got in here.” Todd looked up with a frown, “He couldn’t have gotten in here right?”

“It is most likely a lie intended to be built upon a truth. Either he believed Timothy was still staying at Drake Manor or it was supposed to come here and the hired hand chose the wrong home.” Damian said.

Both Richard and Drake’s attention shot up to look at Damian. He frowned at them confused for a moment, then realized his mistake. He turned the frown into a glare.

“Pennyworth asked me not to be too long. I will return upstairs to aid him then draw the picture of your stalker.”  

With that he turned on his heel and left them to glean whatever they could from the letter

[erizawayumako888]

It's been a while, how many years have passed? 5? 10? maybe even more? we both lay side by side on top of the hill, green fields and village by the mountain. The place we call home, or for me, used to be one.

We may not have been the closest of friends, but your company is quite enjoyable. Especially back then, when I was a child, young and free, naive and innocent. I would run around the village, play with other kids, other times hanging out with older friends like you. I've been looking up to you, we don't talk much, but you're an admirable figure, as a kid I thought about how cool you are, I talked a lot about you although I didn't have the guts to really tell you how I feel.

Kids would cringe at the idea of the idea of a girl and boy kissing or holding hands, including me. I kept on denying how I feel, I was so young I felt that it was disgusting although it felt good. As I grow up we grew further apart, just like every other kids growing out of their interests or old friends. I forgotten that you even existed for years.

All those years as I grew up, a lot of terrible things happened. I looked at you, assuming that you are smiling back at me underneath that mask. You were quite pleased to see an old friend, a little girl you used to spend time with, gone for quite a while and returned a grown up woman. You sat comfortably beside me, thinking that I'm still the same old bright young woman. How unfortunate, my friend. You couldn't have been more wrong...

I didn't grow up to be the lady society expects me to be, I run, jump and play like boys, I prefer dinosaurs and superheroes over dressing up and dolls. Other kids think I am weird, I got bullied and rejected. I learnes how to just keep things by myself, since I am a bother for others. But it didn't stop there, now that I am being quiet, the grown ups hated me just for speaking too little. I still listen to and reply to them, I just don't talk much to other kids or when not needed.

They tried to shackle and chain my freedom, telling me that just because I am a girl I am not allowed to do this or that. I am forced to wear complicated clothings, constantly how a woman's only goal in life is to bow down to her husband. I am sick of being tossed and controlled around up to 14 years of my life, only to be told that it is the right thing to carry on beibg tossed and controlled around by a man until the day I die.

This place I grew up in, what I once see as a peaceful village... I hate everyone in there. All of them, judgemental hypocrites, feeling that they're always right when they condemn people for being themselves. I'm sick of it, I can't take it any longer. My guardian angel held me tight, telling me that everythings going to be okay.

Hell no, I am no longer enduring that while faking a smile. I ran away from her, from the village, into the forest depth. And that's when I came face to face with the devil herself. And attractive woman with red, glistening hair. Her sharp glare accompanied with curled horbs decorating her head, standing proud with her bat-like wings stretched over and her devilish tail swaying around. She stood proud, loud and clear she declared ,"My child, I can help you avenge those who have wronged you!".

My guardian angel grabbed my arm whimpering ,"Don't listen to her" I looked back at her feeling bad... But you are my guardian angel, yet you don't protect me from the hell I have been through. But still, you are my friend, but what kind of friend sees you suffering and does nothing about it, only telling me to be patient and take it all?

I closed my eyes, under my eyelids it's pitch black as expected. However everything soon turns to be red, bright red, visions of flames of hell is getting clearer. But I felt very excited, not realizing I grinned wider as the estacy grew. I opened my eyes feeling euphoric, for the first time in a while my laugh echoes out of excitement. I can't tell where and what I am looking, I only know that I can't stop laughing, my arms have to keep moving slashing through the air, I feltike I'm hit something, at a glance I might have seen a terrified face but the adrenaline rush makes me ignorant of it. My vision grows blurry and redder, as the screams from hell grew louder and pierces my ears.

Finally I'm exhausted. My head feels very heavy, as if heavy weights are being attach to its left and right, I fell forward to the ground. That is when I realized I literaly have weights on my head... that demon lady's horns, they are on my head now. I could feel some wind, some moving attached to my back, those are her wings... and my hands, red.

I saw my guardian angel there, her once white gown is now stained in red. She is no longer movinh or breathing. I cried when I realized what happened. Slowly I carried her lifeless body on top of a hill far away from the village, under a huge, old tree surrounded by the flower beds we used to play at. It was where we would laugh and make flower crowns, where we would frolic and run with the animals. But now, this is her final resting place.

I kept replaying those memories as I walked with my old friend. He didn't say a word and follwed behind me, until I stopped in front of the nameless tombstone. I picked up a few flowers and poured them on top of it, before I fall on my knees. Had hadn't a clue of what happened that day, in attempt of consoling me he held my shoulder ,"Friend of yours?" I didn't say a word.

After my first murder, I finally realizes that I no longer have a guardian angel, instead I have a demon by my side. She promised me that shw would be much more helpful, and she seems to be telling the truth. With my new found power I walked back to the village in the middle of the night, fpr one last time. I flew from home to home, looking for the faces of those who had wronged me to rip them off. A glint of satisfication when they all run and scream in fear before finally, they all drop dead in silence.

By the time the sun goes up, I looked into a mirror, seeing myself as a beat decorated in red. The light shines on the blood covering me, it was an amazing kind of feeling I never had before. I flew away far into the darkest depths of forest, looking for a new place to live.

I travlled the lands into other villages and towns, there are times I do try to make friends and hide my past, I may not be hated anymore but I always fear how if I would. So I keep myself away from others, no one can be trusted, except for myself and the demon inside of me.

It is quite frustrating as a loner when I had feelings for a man, yet I remember how I was treated, by their kind especially. I don't want to let my feelings of attachment to bribg down my ego. I am not the one who will submit, I will be the one to dominate them.

And thus my journey began, I trained to grow stronger. When I see a man I found to my liking I would take them away and trest them like a toy. I will toss and turn them aroubd to my heart's content, although I do love and care for them it is a pleasureable way to avenge those men who wronged me. You say that girls can't be strong? You say that girls have to obey their husbands with a leash around her neck? Then this time my love, you are the one with the leash around your neck.

Two, three pets were not enough. I always needed more, and I have lost counted after all these years. Perhaps 30 or 40, and it won't stop anytime soon. At times I cry for nights knowijg how much I hurt my loved obes, but the voices of my relatives, telling me to kneel down and be a 'good girl', especoally my grandma...

She was not a nice old lady who makes cookies for you, she would always tell me it is wrong to be myself, she would always say that my nice face and body is jist a great asset to find me a good man. I am sick of it, and even after I've left my family behind their taunting voicr still taunts me. Aslong as the voices goes on, my torturous games will cobtinue. I do hesitate and feel guilty, but at the same time I enjoy it when I watch my boys cry in the dungeon after what I do to them.

I finally fibished plucking the weeds around the graveyard, I stared at the weed I grasp in my hands thinking... Maybe I should stop afterall, I cannot forever keep on hurting people especially those who I cared about. But just as I smiled in relief her voice echoes again ,"My dear, why don't you have a man yet? Relax, and kneel down. Be. A. Good. Girl."

I stood up yelling and tossed the weed aside, I screamed loudly towards the sky as my old friebd backed off. Both of my fists tightens as I stared into the horizon, I clenched my teeth and tears began flowing down my face.

My old friend slowly walked towards me ,"Is everything alright?" He asked. I turned my head slowly, now face to face to the so familiar face. But I noticed a difference, slowly my vision turns red. Not just his masked face, but the sky and grass, everything turns red. I began to smirk and laugh as tears continue to rush like waterfall ,"I'm sorry my love, she is coming back."

I laughed harder than ever as the demon's horns sprout out of my scalp, bat like wings spread on my back blocking the sun and drops a shadow covering my old friend. He stared at me as he drew his sword, I can tell that he hesitates just like I do. But I can't stop now, I need him in my collection, as long as that old witches words burns in my ears I need new toys to take my anger and grudge on.

I laughed harder and harder as I clawed my way through, my claws clashing against his sword under the setting sun. His skill impressive as ever, in a blink of an eye as I tried to hold back my demond I could feel my head lighter, and I notuced both of my horns were severed laying on the ground. Well played, my dear. This gets more interesting.

I growled and shoots lightning from my finger, I am not trying to attack him however I just want to play around for now. He leaps aroubd dodging my attacks, at times deflecting them with his sword which celarly backfires me, I took my own hit but I am not done yet.

Now, a huge orb forms in my palms, I run to him swinging it to his direction. He was ready to slocr the orb but just at the moment my other claw slaps his sword away. Checkmate. You are unarmed now. I growled like a beast as I grabbed him by force, he was fighting back kicking and punchibg but I am not backing down, not especially when I am a demon at least 10 times his size for now.

I grasped him in my claws and flew away from the spot. Finally another collection, another victim for my grudge and hatred, mixed with my love and obsession. I do love you dear, but your kind has to pay what they have done to me. The fun has just started, pet.

[joy1579]

RFA + Saeran and MC on a snow day

so where i live it does not snow often. it gets cold but we don’t usually get enough moisture to get snow.  so as much as i would love do do more snow activities tis but a futile dream. maybe when i move. i don’t know. point is i don’t know much about snow day activities so a lot of activities are repeated but hopefully each character is different enough for everyone to enjoy.

oh also so I changed my ask box so y’all know i do take requests for mysme writing. my only current rules are that I don’t write for V and NSFW stuff will be kept vauge. oh but i do LOVE writing for jumin so def hit me up if you got anything for him.

and as always feel free to check out my master list!

Jumin

He spends it learning about what other people do on snow days so it’s a little bit of everything

-        You know this man has a real fireplace because that is classy and cozy (at least I think so)

-        Imagine sitting on the floor across from Jumin with Elizabeth between you two

-        Your take turns teasing her with toys as she jumps and plays towards one of you then the other

-        When you do go out you’re in super warm clothes and even then he’ll have his arms around you to keep you close and warm next to him

-        He is not prepared when you pull away from him to run through the snow like a child but he chuckles watching you practically frolic

-        Until he see’s you tumble into a pile of snow and rushes to help you out

-        But when he gets there your giggling like a mad woman and you pull him down to kiss him in the snow

-        “have some fun with me MR. Han”

-        “if you insist MRS. Han”

-        You show him all the commoner Snow day activities

-        Snow angels, snow men, snow ice cream, maple syrup snow candy

-        At the end of the day your curled against him in a big armchair by the fires he’s reading to you while you both warm up

Yoosung

His day is all about fun fair play with intermittent kisses and cuddles he’s just happy to be with you

-        This boy may not have a fireplace but just imagine curling up with him under a heated blanket

-        Also he loves snowball fights. He goes all out building himself a snow wall to hide behind and creating a war cry before popping up to pelt you with snowballs

-        You sneak around and tackle him into the snow peppering his whole face with kisses

-        Y’all try to build an igloo

-        Y’all fail to build an igloo

-        You build an entire family of snowmen to live in your collapsed igloo

-        You and he name each snow man and even try to make them a little snow meal

-        Then you start sneezing and he notices how red your nose and cheeks are from the cold

-        He rubs your hands in his and breaths on them to warm your finger

-        Eskimo kisses while sipping hot chocolate

-        This boy makes the absolute best hot chocolate complete with whip cream and red and green Christmas sprinkles

-        you put your cold hands on his face hot blushing face and laugh when he lurches backwards its less fun when he does the same

Saeyoung

he might take the snow fun a bit too far. But hey you both had fun so it’s cool right?

-        he didn’t know it was snowing until you dropped a half melted snowball on his head while he works

-        he makes a freaking snowball machine gun, his cat robot fights by his side

-        you are out numbered and out gunned but he refuses your surrender you are now a prisoner of snowball war

-        he DID make an igloo (for snowball war prisoners) and you and him bring blankets and watch movies on his laptop while all cuddled up together

-        igloo make outs, until Saeran comes to check on you two

-        not only does he stumble into some ridiculous booby trap Saeyoung made

-        but when he finally makes it through you guys are making out and he tells you two to get a room

-        “we have a room! I built it myself!”

-        Saeran calls Saeyoung an idiot but does tell you to come inside before you catch a cold

-        You make you and Saeran tea, Saeyoung tries hot DR. Pepper (spoiler alert it’s not good)

-        You make soup for everyone and you all have a movie night

Zen

Romance. He will romance the pants off you. quite literally. It wasn’t his plan but he’s not complaining.

-        Boy legit does not get cold so he lends you his coat

-        But it’s so big on you, like floppy sleeves and knee length big. He thinks it’s so cute.

-        And then your nose and cheeks all flushed from the cold.

-        He’s dead, you killed him. Zen doesn’t live in that body anymore, now only the beast remains.

-        He’s afraid you’ll catch a cold so he keeps you inside the rest of the time

-        you and he absolutely go sledding (he’s not gonna miss a chance to hold you that tight against him)

-        it’s hard to control himself when y’all tumble over each other at the bottom of the hill and he ends up laughing on top of you

-        you nose scrunched with your laughter at the crash and pillowey snow around you

-        he sings you “walking in a winter wonderland” as you two get take out from a nearby restaurant

-        hot showers (interpret that HOWEVER you want wink wonk) to help you both warm up

Jaehee

its cozy and warm and peaceful. You spend most of it in shelter watching the snow fall from inside.

-        snow days are actually really good for y’alls business because everyone wants hot drinks when its cold out

-        she bundles the heck up. Coat gloves scarf hat boots earmuffs hat all of it

-        she looks so cute all bundled up you just have to kiss her nose

-        after the café crowd dies down you make her a drink and you two sit letting the drinks warm your hands as you watch the snow outside fall

-        she gasps. You know what would be perfect for cold weather like this? molten lava cake!

-        You gasp. You know what would go perfectly with that? fresh snow ice cream

-        You both get to work and make what is hands down the best dessert you’ve ever shared

-        It won’t work in the café obviously but your both glad you got to enjoy it together

-        On your way home you hold her gloved hand and she kisses your cheek

-        You spend the night watching DVD’s of Zen’s past Christmas plays

Saeran

It’s all about balance on this day, balance Saeran’s two different sides and balancing him and his brothers sometimes oppositional personalities.

-        Hot tea with all his winter flowers (you know he’s planned his garden with flowers that bloom at all different times)

-        you and he try to catch snowflakes on your tongues and make snow angles

-        he probably gets irrationally angry when something knocks a tree branch and dumps snow on his head

-        you calm him down and promise you two can gang up on Saeyoung in a snowball fight

-        you two forgot he had a snowball machine gun and end up hiding behind a snow pile

-        you call a truce once Saeyoung runs out of ammo and drag Saeran inside so he doesn’t catch a cold

-        you make him chicken noodle soup and snuggle with him until he’s warm again

-        you hear Saeyoung come in and Saeran tells him that if Saeyoung dares touch him with anything cold he will personally throttle Saeyoung with an icicle

-        you hush Saeran gently because that’s not nice besides Saeyoung knows better you say sending a harsh look at a Saeyoung who has a large snowball melting in his hands

-        Saeyoung decides that he probably shouldn’t go against you and Saeran together (clever boy)

[frangelic999]

Resident Evil Time

As we all know, Spooky Season began on August 1st, as it does every year. Skeletons began to emerge from the earth, and we all joined together to help along the slightly unripe ones with just a knuckle bone sticking up out of the lawn. Pumpkins rolled down into town from the foothills, snuggling into piles of radiant leaves as they awaited their new, temporary keepers. Here on the west coast of America, ash began to fall from the sky, as it does every season of ash, and we all went out to frolic in the ash as we gasped for air in our newly toxic Zone. It never rains in California, except when it’s raining ash. As such, around August 1st I began my quest of playing every mainline Resident Evil game, and a couple of spin-offs. What follows is the book report that I wrote on this experience.

Resident Evil is a series that’s been on my radar in one way or another as far back as 1996, when I was a kid, but I never really took a very close look at it, or wanted to, until I played RE7 in 2019. My oldest memory involving this game is wandering Blockbuster with my older brother looking for a game to rent. Another kid was there, also with their older brother, and the little kid suggested Resident Evil, but the bigger kid sagely declared “Nah, the controls are bad,” and they left it at that. I don’t know why I remember this, but I do, and my general feeling about Resident Evil was negative, I think because I had played the demo and didn’t like it, due to the fact that it’s not really designed in such a way that a kid would like it much. My first actual experience with the series, outside of that, was playing Resident Evil 3 in 1999. At the time, I loved it, but I was 12, and wouldn’t have been able to articulate anything about why I liked it other than “cool videogame, Jill pretty. Jill me.” I also played RE4 and RE5 around the time they came out, and I enjoyed them as fun action games, but still didn’t think much of the series or really care about survival horror. My other experience with the genre pretty much only extends to Alan Wake, Dino Crisis, and Dead Space, all of which I played so long ago that I remember almost nothing about them. What kind of monsters does Alan Wake fight? Couldn’t say. Could be anything, really. I remember the main character of Dino Crisis, Regina. She had red hair. Regina pretty. Regina me? Strangely enough, wanting to play the role of formidable, independent, resourceful, attractive women in games was a running theme in my formative years. What could this possibly mean? We may never know. But anyway, I was very excited to go on this journey into the survival horror franchise, and one of the most iconic franchises of all time. It had its highs and lows, but it was well worth it, and I emerged with a newfound appreciation for the design and appeal of survival horror games. The intention here isn’t to give a full, thorough analysis of these games or a breakdown of every aspect of them, but to compile my various thoughts on them, so it’s more of an opinionated overview than a deep dive. 

Resident Evil (1996)

It’s actually really hard to place this game when making a tier list, due to the simple fact that none of these other games would exist without the conventions Resident Evil set. It was groundbreaking, and literally invented a genre. At the same time, it's impossible for me to not compare it to other, better games, because I have knowledge of the rest of the series. It was an experiment for Capcom, and it shows in the game's rough edges. It feels like it had good ideas that didn’t always live up to their full potential, due to some combination of inexperience, available hardware/software, and questionable implementation.

RE1 is... not very good at being scary. It does its best, but it's a fairly early PS1 game. I think a lot of this has to do with the atmosphere and graphics. Visually, it’s just kind of ugly in that early PS1 way, and the color choices are dull and lack cohesion. For a horror game taking place in a spooky dilapidated mansion, it feels a little too bright, and I’m guessing it has to do with the fact that no one really knew how to make darkness convincing on PS1 at the time. But it’s not entirely the PS1’s fault this game is ugly, as you can see from RE2 and RE3 being not ugly. The color choices and backgrounds just aren’t especially lush or interesting.

I don't really need to go into the voice acting and writing of this game, due to their status of legendary badness. The live action cutscenes are unbelievably cheesy and almost impossible to watch with a straight face. The live action ending where Jill and Chris hold hands as they fly away in a helicopter is incredibly dumb. If you correctly chose Jill as your main character, it just seems incongruous that after fighting her way out of a deathtrap of horrifying creatures, she's now laying her head on the big strong man's shoulder. It’s bad, but fortunately the game isn’t entirely bad narratively. It was surprising, in a game from 1996, to see the in-world documents scattered around that add to the narrative, telling you what's really going on and adding detail to the broader strokes of the story. This is a thing that's ubiquitous in games now, AAA or otherwise, and I'm wondering if this game helped to establish that facet of games. RE1 has a simple story of evil corporate experiments gone wrong, with the driving force behind everything the player/character does being escape from the mansion, and this simplicity really works in its favor. As we shall see in later RE games, convoluted stories don’t really lend themselves all that well to horror. 

If you look at other games released in 1996, there are a lot of fast paced action games, like 3D platformers and first person shooters, as well as RPGs, and it's clear this game was something different. It has that slow, methodical play that makes survival horror feel unique. The feeling of not knowing what's waiting for you behind the next door, but knowing you have to go anyway, and that balance between surviving and solving puzzles to progress. The backtracking and item hunts, the interlocking paths and puzzles, the environmental storytelling and documents, the sense of isolation, it's all here in the first game. Some players may not find inventory management thrilling, but it’s a key part of these games, and it’s mostly done well in the good ones. Inventory management and item scarcity are a big part of what actually captures that feeling of “survival horror.” Since items are needed to progress, your inventory is directly tied to your progress, and at its best this forces you to make tough decisions about what you really need to carry and by extension makes you play more conservatively and prioritize avoidance. At its worst, it forces you to go back to previous areas for no reason and wastes your time while hurting the pace of the game, which RE1 is only guilty of at one point toward the end. The more weapons and ammo you have, the less room you have to do the work of actually progressing in the game through item-based puzzles, so you often have to sacrifice some of your lethality to progress smoothly. There’s a fine line between giving the player too many resources and too few, and almost all good survival horror games walk that line very well. It's also just thematically appropriate that your character isn't able to lug around a hundred pounds of gear. The open-ended nature of exploration, or the illusion thereof, is also an important aspect of survival horror. In good Resident Evil games, you usually have multiple doors you can choose to open, multiple potential paths, and feeling out which one is right, and which places are safe to travel, is a big part of the game. That exploratory feeling of gradually extending your reach and knowledge of the place you're in, knowing how vulnerable you are but also knowing you have to keep going deeper, gives the player a much greater sense of agency than more linear horror experiences.

All of these good design elements are firmly established by RE1, but they're just not executed as well as in future Resident Evil and survival horror titles, and by today's standards, playing it can feel like a chore. I think it certainly deserves a huge amount of credit for establishing almost everything that's good and defining about survival horror. There were earlier horror themed games, and I'm sure there are online people who'd be strangely invested in arguing that it's not the first survival horror game, but Resident Evil was clearly something new, different, and more sophisticated. It feels like a beginning, a rough draft, but it established something special. In some ways, I feel like RE1 has actually aged better than a lot of its 1996 contemporaries. Not in terms of controls, visuals or voice acting, heavens no. But, in terms of things like a focus on atmosphere, good pacing, and elegant, focused design, much of it still holds up today.

-Monster Review Corner-

These are the monsters that started it all. Zombies, undead dogs, hunters, Tyrant, and the absolute classic, a big plant that hates you. And who can forget the most forgettable monsters, giant spiders? The enemies themselves aren't especially exciting, but honestly, they work very well for the style and slow pace of this game. The deadly mansion full of the living dead is a classic horror setting. Things like Hunters and Tyrant seem pedestrian by series standards now, but they would have been a surprise in a zombie game in 1996, and Hunters are terrifying when they first appear. Overall monster score: 7/10

Time to complete: 5:46

Games were shorter overall in 1996, but the short game length is another survival horror trait the game established, and that brevity is a trait I really appreciate about this series and the genre as a whole. 

Resident Evil 2 (1998)

I feel like I’m going to be using the word “better” a lot. RE2 is immediately more cinematic than its predecessor, which is a good thing. It’s an important element of establishing tension and atmosphere. All the best horror movies, in my opinion, have smart and artful cinematography behind them. I’m not going to say Resident Evil 2 has masterful cinematic direction, but it’s a vast improvement over the previous game. Gone are the super cheesy FMV cutscenes and the atrocious voice acting. The voice acting here isn't great by today's standards, but people do talk mostly like humans! This must be due to the fact that it was the first time Capcom ever outsourced voice acting to a studio outside of Japan. The writing is also much, much better. The soundtrack is much more atmospheric, and even the save room music is better. Visually, the game looks so much better. Character models are more detailed and lifelike, and backgrounds are much more detailed, colorful and cohesive. I vastly prefer the character designs to those of RE1. They’re very 90s, in a fun anime way. Even the portraits in the inventory screen look way better. Even the story and the documents you find are more well written and interesting, and Umbrella is established as a more sinister and far-reaching presence. 

RE2 gives you separate campaigns for Claire and Leon that are similar, but different in some major ways. Rather than being a super long game, it has a short campaign that can be replayed multiple times with different characters for improved ranks, unlockables, and short bonus levels. I actually really like this kind of replayability, as opposed to the much more common type of replayability of modern games, which is just making the game 100 hours long and filled with boring sidequests, trinkets and skill points. This is  partially because I inevitably burn out on that kind of game, even if I like it (Horizon Zero Dawn, Breath of the Wild) and never finish the game. Super Bunnyhop has a whole video (“Let’s Talk About Game Length”) about the advantages of this game’s style of replay value which is worth a watch. I’m much more likely to rank a game among my favorites if I’m actually compelled to finish it. I’m always annoyed by how persistently gamers thoughtlessly complain about these games (or any game for that matter) being too short. Gee, maybe that has something to do with why 4, 5, and 6 all feel so bloated and outstay their welcome. Funny how the three most recent games in the series that brought it back from the brink of total irrelevance are all under ten hours in length.

The level design feels less haphazard and boring than RE1, but retains the satisfying sense of interconnectedness that the original mansion had. The balance of the game is good, and it feels dangerous without ever feeling unfair, like all the best RE games. Distribution of healing items and ammo feels right - I rarely felt like I was in serious danger of running out, but I always felt the pressure to conserve ammo and remember where healing items were to pick up later. This game is also a sterling example of the kinds of boss fights that work in survival horror. Rather than being reflex tests, boss fights are more a test of how smartly and conservatively you’ve been playing. If you’ve saved enough powerful ammo by playing well, you’ll have no problem with boss monsters, and there’s also the alligator fight, which, if you were paying attention to the area you just traversed, can be ended with one bullet. 

Overall, it’s a huge improvement over RE1 in every way imaginable, and a genuinely good game even by today’s standards, if you discount the cheesy voice acting and dated cutscenes. I finished RE1 in two sittings because I wanted to get it over with, but I finished RE2 nearly as fast because it was hard to stop playing. This is where the series came into its own, and RE2 feels like the beginning of the series as we know it today, while RE1 feels more like an experimental rough draft.

-Monster Review Corner-

This game, overall, has some great monsters. Fantastic monsters, and this is where you’ll find ‘em. First, we’ve got your classic zombies. Classic. We’ve got your zombie dogs, two for one deal. We’ve got some evil birds who inexplicably burst through a window one time. Okay, decent. Giant spiders, boooring. But then, here comes a new challenger! It’s lickers, one of perhaps the most iconic Resident Evil monsters. These nasty wall crawlin’ flesh puppies have got exposed brains, big ol’ claws, razor sharp tongues and a complete lack of sight. Due to this last fact, you can avoid them by being very quiet, which is extremely survival horror. Lickers are great. RE2 also has a giant alligator, which even the RE2 remake team thought was too silly to include in the remake (but to the great relief of everyone around the world, he made it anyway). Personally, I love the fact that they brought the classic urban cryptid, the mutant sewer gator, into the RE family. RE2 also has a Tyrant who chases you around in the second scenario. He’s just Nemesis before Nemesis. There are also big plant monsters who look like walking venus fly traps, totally rad. And finally, all of the G-Mutation designs pretty much set the stage for the monster design of all future RE mutants, including Nemesis. They have this alien, body horror feel to them that’s become a hallmark of the series. Overall monster score: 10/10

Time to complete: 5:06

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis (1999)

RE3 has a darker tone than RE2, a lot of quality of life changes, and the terrifying presence of an unstoppable Nemesis. It’s a more combat oriented game, not in that combat is more complex, but in that there are more weapons, more ammo, faster zombies, and in comparison to the two previous games there are more times where it’s safer to kill enemies than avoid them. Jill can also dodge and quick turn. Dodging is fine, and quick turn, was an excellent addition that’s been in every RE since then, minus RE7. It’s a very good game, but the fact that there are fewer moments of quiet exploration and puzzling detracts from the variety of the game and makes it feel more one note. It definitely feels more like an action movie, not just in its increased amount of fighting but also in its story beats and cutscenes. I think it’s important to make a distinction between the style of this game and RE4/5/6, in that those are action games with light or nonexistent survival horror elements, while this is a survival horror game with action elements. I played the game on hard mode, because this game only has hard and easy mode. Hard is essentially normal, it's what you'd come to expect from the series, and easy mode is easy and gives you an assault rifle at the start. 

The titular Nemesis is such a great way to change up the Resident Evil formula. The first time you encounter him, he kills Brad in a cutscene, and you run into the police station. You think he’ll just appear at certain times during cutscenes and maybe a boss fight, but then a little while later he bursts through a window and chases you, and he’s faster than anything encountered previously in the series. That’s when it becomes clear that you’re going to be hunted, and from that point on Nemesis is in the back of your mind at all times, injecting an undercurrent of paranoia into every moment of methodical exploration. Although, I do have complaints about Nemesis, too. If you’re familiar with the series up to this point, his appearances are undermined by that very knowledge. What I mean is that if you played the first two games, you start to get a sense of when events or attacks are going to be triggered in Resident Evil, and that makes Nemesis much more predictable. You start to think “whelp, it’s about time for another Nemesis attack,” and then he shows up. Also, the first time you’re actually supposed to stand and fight him is an awful boss fight, and the first really bad boss fight in the series. The game’s dodge mechanic is finicky and hard to time, and it’s an important part of winning the fight, at least on hard mode. He’s basically a bullet sponge, which is not interesting. 

Something that I like about three is it really expands on the setting by giving you lots of details about Umbrella and their relation to Raccoon City. You learn that not only have they infiltrated the city government and police, but a lot of the city's infrastructure was funded by Umbrella donations. You also learn that they maintain their own paramilitary force and are a far reaching, international corporation. Umbrella is really fleshed out as a more robust and powerful organization here. 

Another unique aspect of this game, that’s never been in another RE game, is the “choose your own adventure” system. Nemesis will be after you, and you can choose between two different options, such as running into the sewers or hiding in the kitchen. You have a limited time to make these choices, and they have positive or negative outcomes, but never outright kill you, as far as I could tell. It’s kind of neat, and an interesting way to change things up occasionally, but not especially important. 

Overall, this is an excellent Resident Evil game, though a good deal less original and groundbreaking than RE2.

-Monster Review Corner-

Honestly, most of the monsters are fine, but nothing to write home about. Nemesis is the star of the show, which you can already tell by the fact that the game is named after him and he’s on the front cover. He’s like the cooler, better, more deadly version of a Tyrant. Nemesis score: 10/10

Time to complete: 5:32

An Aside About Puzzles

I’ve been trying to figure out how to articulate what I like about the puzzles in this series, and this seems as good a place to put these thoughts as any. I get that not everyone likes the puzzles in this series, and that many of them can only be called puzzles in a very loose sense, but I think they add a crucial ingredient to the games.

The thing is, if they were more complicated or difficult puzzles, they would take up too much screen time, they would overpower the rest of the game, like too much salt in a dish. There are a lot of them where you have to follow riddle-like clues to figure out what to do, but they're all pretty easy. There are a lot of item hunts that boil down to finding item A and bringing it to point B, or combining item A with item B and using the result at point C, and I remember plenty of jokes over the years playfully lampooning this facet of Resident Evil. But, while playing through these games, I found myself dissatisfied with the view that these item hunts and simple puzzles are stupid, or bad game design. Because really, what makes these games good is not shooting or puzzles or atmosphere or good monsters, but all of these elements working together in harmony. It seems like the more harmonious that balance, the better the Resident Evil game. All these little parts make up the whole. The puzzles aren't hard, sure, but they aren't meant to be. They add an element of sleuthing and a sense of accomplishment and progression that would otherwise be lacking, and which could easily slip into frustration if they were any more difficult, and detract from the overall experience. If you just went around and shot at monsters and opened doors, it would be missing something big, and it would be a much poorer series. If you need evidence of that, may I direct you to Resident Evils 4 to 6. Without that exploratory feeling, without that aha feeling of figuring it out, it would feel bland. "If I use this item to open this, then I get this thing and I combine it with this, it frees up space in my inventory, and now I can take them back to the spot I remember from earlier because I was paying attention and taking mental notes, and I can open this path..." I'd argue that this feeling of things clicking together neatly, of attentive and methodical play paying off, is integral to the series and to the entire genre it spawned. The whole game is a puzzle that you’re figuring out, and things like item juggling, map knowledge, and carefully leaving enough space in your inventory are a part of that puzzle. 

The puzzles in the series are more representational than what might usually be called a puzzle. The item lugging, inventory swapping parts that I remember being maligned at one time are more akin to piecing together a jigsaw puzzle, but those pieces are scattered across a monster infested, carefully designed, difficult to traverse map. What made RE7 feel so much like a revival of Resident Evil, despite it being a first person game that looks and feels very little like its predecessors, was returning to this approach to game design. It was a polished and well made return to the principles that made survival horror popular. The fact that Capcom brought back all those often complained about puzzles and item hunts, and slashed the current idea of game length to ribbons, returning to the roots of the series, and then those games being so highly praised, feels so right in part because it feels like the developers are saying "look, a lot of you were totally wrong about what made these games good."

Resident Evil - Code: Veronica (2000)

To me the most immediately noticeable thing about this game is Claire’s embarrassingly early-2000s outfit: high rise boot cut jeans, cowgirl boots, a short-sleeved crop top jacket, all topped off with a pink choker and fingerless gloves. I don’t think I’ve ever seen character design that so perfectly encapsulates the time period of a game’s release. It’s bad, and the game only gets worse from there. 

I really tried to like Code Veronica, at first. But after playing RE1-3, saying it's underwhelming is putting it lightly. I honestly don't think I have a single good thing to say about this game, and it's possibly the worst mainline Resident Evil game ever made (RE6 being the only thing that might take that crown of trash in its stead). It's pretty much not possible to take Code Veronica seriously in any way, especially not as a horror game. The visuals have no sense of darkness or atmosphere and manage to look much worse than the old pre-rendered graphics, the puzzles are uninspired rehash, the enemies and bosses are irritating, the character designs are a particular type of early-2000s bad, the voice acting is insufferable, the story is asinine, and the game is full of the bad kind of backtracking. It's not entirely the game's fault it's ugly, it's a product of its time, but it's weird to see in retrospect because it looks worse than RE3 from one year prior. Previous RE games had bad voice acting, but this is the first one where the voice acting makes you want to turn the game off. 

Up until this point, the storylines of Resident Evil games were very simple. Evil corporation caused chaos with a virus, get out alive. There are details scattered throughout about how the city and government were being paid off, but that’s the gist of it. Code Veronica is where the lore of RE starts to get convoluted and sometimes very dumb. I won’t go into all the ways the story is bad, but suffice it to say this is definitely when Resident Evil jumped the shark, and it paves the way for the stupidity of RE4. It also uses the “mentally ill people are scary” horror trope, which is perhaps my least favorite horror trope. The villain for most of the game, Alfred, has *gasp* a split personality and thinks he’s also his sister. Of course, at one point Claire calls him a “crossdressing freak.” I’ll just leave it at that. Of course nobody who writes this kind of thing bothers to do any kind of research into the mental illnesses they use as story crutches. I feel like I need to mention the voice acting, for Steve and Alfred particularly. Steve sounds like he walked off of a middle school campus, and Alfred sounds like your local community theater’s production of Sweeney Todd. They’re both absolutely atrocious and make the game that much more annoying to play. Claire’s acting is about what you’d expect from a Saturday morning cartoon of the era.

As though the fact that it's a bad game visually and narratively wasn't enough, it's also badly designed, not much fun to play, and way longer than the previous three. The game’s map, at least for Claire’s portion (most of the game), is divided into multiple small areas, each with one path leading to them, so you have to go over these paths repeatedly once you’ve retrieved an item from a completely different area, and it makes for a lot of very tiresome backtracking. The series always had backtracking, of course, but never over such long, samey stretches of space. On top of this, there are tons of blatantly bad design choices. To name a few:

-The hallway you have to traverse multiple times containing moths which poison you and respawn every time you leave and are really hard to hit on top of being a waste of ammo. It’s hard to see how they were unaware that this is bad since they also leave an infinite supply of poison antidotes in the same room

-The fact that there’s no indication whatsoever that you should leave items behind for the next character you have to play, which left me struggling to even be able to kill enemies as Chris

-Multiple times where in order to trigger progress you have to look at or pick up a certain thing, not for any logical in-game reason but just because it triggers a cutscene. One of these makes you look at the same thing twice, and I wandered around not knowing what to do for a while before checking a walkthrough

-More than one save room that contains no item box, when this game asks you to constantly juggle items and repeatedly travel long distances with specific items

There’s more, but I don’t want to write or think about this bad game anymore. This game is a slag heap that deserves to be forgotten, and I hope it’s never remade. Something I find really disappointing about Code Veronica is that the setting is ripe for a good Resident Evil game, but they botch it. It takes place in two locations, a secret island prison run by Umbrella, and an antarctic research station, both of which I can imagine a great RE game taking place in. I guess, really, the best thing that can be said about Code Veronica is that it’s a survival horror game. They didn’t totally stray from the principles that made the series good, they just implemented those things very badly, in a very stupid game.

Time to complete: who knows, I quit near the final stretch of the game. The internet says it takes about 12:30, which is far too long.

REmake (2002)

I played the remake first, and it’s the only game I played out of order, because when I started I had no plans to play the entire series. It’s a remake that fixes everything wrong or dated about the original while keeping the things that made it good, and I would say it’s the definitive version of the game and the one that should be played. 

Visually, a lot of it looks very good, and uses darkness much better than the original. I like this game’s high def pre-rendered backgrounds, because it’s like looking into an alternate reality where pre-rendered graphics never went away, and just increased in fidelity. I actually really like a lot of the backgrounds in this game. Pre-rendered backgrounds have their shortcomings, but I think they can play a role in horror games. They give the developers total control of how things are framed, and framing/direction are a big part of what can make things ominous or scary in horror movies. You can do this to some extent in games with free cameras, but without nearly as much control. I think over time the popular consensus became that pre-rendered backgrounds are inherently bad, but I think like any style of graphics they have their pros and cons. The late 90s Final Fantasies are great examples of how pre-rendered graphics can be used to frame characters and events in certain ways.

The strongest suit of this game is that it really feels like a horror game, and avoidance is encouraged over combat due to scarce ammo and healing. The pace is slow and thoughtful, the mansion is sprawling and claustrophobic, and even one or two zombies feels like a threat, especially before you find the shotgun. Even after that, shotgun shells are fairly scarce. Like the original, combat mechanics are intentionally very simple and limited, though this one sees the introduction of the defensive items that return in the RE2 and 3 remakes. One thing I really like is that if you kill a zombie and leave their body, without decapitating or burning it, it will eventually mutate into a fast and powerful zombie, and these are genuinely threatening to encounter. You constantly have to make decisions in this game about what’s more important, immediate safety or conserving ammo. The fuel that’s used to burn corpses is limited, and can be used strategically to eliminate threats from frequently traveled areas. It’s a great idea for a game mechanic, but in practice, I rarely did this, because inventory is so limited that it didn’t feel worthwhile to use two of my eight slots on a lighter and fuel. Another nice added horror element is the fact that doors aren’t always safe. You’ll hear monsters pounding on doors, see them shaking, and at multiple points they’ll be smashed open when you thought you were safe.

A lot of the ideas that made this game good and the original good are ideas that were returned to in RE7, the RE3 remake, and especially the RE2 remake, and a big part of what made those games so successful. 

Time to complete: 10:15

In my opinion it ran a little too long. It takes almost twice as long as the original, and I feel like the added areas pad out that length rather than improving the game. Even though I think it’s a very good game, it started feeling like a slog in the last few hours.

Resident Evil Zero (2002)

After Code Veronica, it was initially refreshing to feel like I was actually playing Resident Evil again and not some subpar knockoff. This one feels a lot more like classic RE, and in its slower pace it’s most similar to REmake or the original trilogy. I played the HD remaster of RE0(which changes nothing but the graphics) since it's the one I own on steam, so I can't speak to the original GameCube graphics, but the art direction itself is vastly better, and it creates an atmosphere that's perfectly Resident Evil. Highly detailed backgrounds, with rich dark colors, old paintings, dusty bookshelves, soft clean lighting, marble and dark wood, wind-rustled ivy, shadows and rain, creep dilapidated industrial spaces. The HD remaster is gorgeous, and one of the best looking games in the series.

This game adds two major new mechanics: playing as a team of two and swapping between characters, and the ability to drop items anywhere. Character swapping is an interesting gimmick, made more of a curiosity by the fact that it will probably never be used again in a RE game. Often it's pretty neat, but just as often, it's an annoying chore. I like the idea of controlling two characters, but I don't think what they attempted to do with it was entirely successful, and could have been better with a couple of simple changes. Ultimately all the inventory management required feels like more trouble than it's worth, especially since you have to carry weapons and ammo for both characters. Between inventory management and swapping off-character actions, I found myself in the inventory screen a lot more than in previous games. It seems like they could have alleviated these problems with more inventory space and buttons for switching off-character actions. Most of the time it ends up feeling like a chore to manage two characters and two separate inventories. In theory, the ability to drop items anywhere adds an element of player choice and planning, but in practice, I just found myself missing the item box that allows you to access the same items from different places.

This game is fine for the first hour or two, but ends up getting more and more frustrating the farther you get into it. After playing about half the game, I started feeling like I'd be having a less terrible time on easy mode. I died in it a lot more times than in any previous game. The combination of really irritating new enemy types and all weapons (even the grenade launcher) feeling underpowered means there are multiple enemy encounters where you're just forced to lose health. This wouldn't be so bad if there were enough healing items around, but there aren't. Every enemy in the game, even a basic zombie, feels too bullet sponge-y. I repeatedly found myself with very little ammo and no healing items, so in a lot of situations I would just die, and reloading with the foreknowledge of what rooms would contain felt like the only way to progress. Managing the health of two characters, one who has very low health, makes it that much harder. I played through all of the previous games on normal difficulty (RE3 on hard) so I know I'm not imagining the spike in difficulty. It's possible they wanted to make this game challenging for series veterans, but if that's the case they missed the mark, because part of what makes a good RE game is excellent balance of difficulty. In a good RE, you always feel like you're facing adversity but still progressing, and you really don't die all that often if you're being careful and using the right weapons for situations. In RE0, you just die a lot to frustrating video game garbage and feel irritated that you have to reload and repeat content. To make matters even worse, aiming feels weirdly sticky in this game and movement feels clunkier than previous games for some reason.

Just like Code Veronica, this game has a premise that seems like it should excel as a Resident Evil game, but it misses the mark. With the new mechanics, it feels like they were struggling to think of ways to further refine and reinvent a series that was getting a little tired. I love the formula of the first three games, but I can understand why after six games following that same formula, with a lot of very similar in-game occurrences and puzzles, they wanted to move in a different direction with RE4. This game feels like it's floundering, attempting to reinvent the series while being chained to the same rules, and though I have mixed or negative feelings about the next three games, it feels like the series was in dire need of a total overhaul.

-Monster Review Corner-

Whoever designed the monsters in this game thought that giant animals are absolutely horrifying. Giant bat, giant scorpion, giant centipede, giant roaches. There are also guys made of leeches, and they're pretty boring and annoying to fight, and it's hard not to find the way they move comedic. There are also hunters and your typical zombies. All in all, a lackluster offering of critters. Overall monster score: 3/10

Resident Evil 4 (2005)

Let's get the obvious out of the way: this game feels almost nothing like Resident Evil, and feels less and less like it the further into it you get. The devs made sure to do a lot of things that make RE4’s identity as an action game very obvious. It’s a game of series firsts: first in the series with an over the shoulder camera, first with weapon stats, first with such an abundance of enemies and weapons, first with QTEs, first where the primary enemies aren’t shambling zombies, first with currency and a merchant, the first where Umbrella isn’t the big bad, the first where you can karate kick and suplex enemies. It’s incredibly not survival horror. It might succeed as a 2005 action game, but it fails miserably at being Resident Evil.

I’m feeling generous, so I’ll start with the things I like about RE4. I really do appreciate that it’s a slower and more methodical action game than its contemporaries, and precise, thoughtful shooting is rewarded. I also like that the over the shoulder camera gives you a pretty narrow field of view, which makes it always feel like enemies could be lurking just off screen. This makes things more tense and is often used to surprise the player, especially in the early game. The almost identical perspective used in the exceptional RE2 and RE3 remakes shows that they weren’t off the mark with this element of the game’s design. However, in RE4 even this good thing is undercut by the fact that jarring, anxious combat music plays whenever enemies are anywhere nearby. The first 2-4 hours of this game, just about up to the Mendez boss, are actually a pretty good game, and provide most of the really tense and scary moments. Unfortunately, these opening hours aren’t really indicative of all the stupid shit to come. Something I grew to hate about this game is that it feels like it just goes on and on and on. It took me around 12 hours, which is short by video game standards, but long by RE standards. By the time I reached the end, it had long outstayed its welcome. Even in these early, decent moments, there was still stuff I hated, like the button mashing quick time events to run from Indiana Jones boulders, the garishly glowing item drops, the dumb kicks, the dynamite zombies.

The crux of a survival horror experience is the feeling of vulnerability, and this feeling is only scarcely captured in the opening few hours of RE4, when it’s still sort of pretending to be Resident Evil. But then, you keep getting more and more powerful, as you do in action games, you keep getting more and more weapons and upgrades and grenades and facing more and more enemies and bosses until it all feels trivial. It’s thoroughly an action game, and by the time you’re near the end, storming a military fort guarded by heavily armed commando zombies manning gatling turrets while you’re aided by helicopter support, it’s clear the game has entirely stopped masquerading as Resident Evil. On top of being a big stupid action game, it’s also extremely a video game. The glowing items that are dropped whenever enemies die, the tiny adorable treasure chests full of doubloons, the big garish video game markers for QTEs(and the most heinous kinds of QTEs: button mashing QTEs and mid-cutscene QTEs), the action movie window jumps and kicks, the cultists driving a death drill, Leon’s backflips, the dumb one-liners that scarcely make sense at times, a giant fish boss, a mine cart level. The absurd stupidity of this game never lets up, so much so that playing it in 2020, it feels almost like an intentional parody, which I know it’s not. 

The story is kind of silly from the start, and delves increasingly into the realm of asinine bullshit as it goes on, as though Capcom and Shinji Mikami sought out the dumbest ideas they could find. In RE2, Leon was a cop for one day during a zombie apocalypse, and now somehow he's working for the White House on a solo mission finding the president's daughter. It's quite the barely explained leap. One of my least favorite things in the narrative department is that Leon's voice acting and dialogue make him insufferable. The humble rookie from RE2 is gone, replaced by a heavily masculinized, aggressive, arrogant, misogynistic, backflipping action movie hero. We went from six consecutive games with women either as one of two playable main characters or the only playable character, with Jill Valentine in RE3 single-handedly destroying the most powerful BOW ever created, to a game where a gruff manly man is tasked with rescuing a literal damsel in distress, and has actual lines like “Feh, women” and “Sorry, but following a lady’s lead just isn’t my style.” It’s atrociously bad, and I hate the character they decided he should be for this game. It also doesn’t even make sense, because why would he even have that attitude towards women after seeing what Claire can do in RE2? It’s a huge step backwards for the series. On top of this awfulness, the actual plot points are just increasingly unbelievable and imbecilic, in a way that totally undercuts any way in which the game could theoretically be frightening. At the end of the game, it’s not Leon and Ashley sitting in silence as they contemplate their harrowing and traumatic experience, it’s “Mission accomplished, right Leon?! Please have sex with me!” and then they literally ride off into the sunset on a jet ski.

At first I thought they were aiming to turn a beloved survival horror series into a big dumb action movie, which is partly true, but then I realized what they had really made: an amusement park. It’s divided into themed zones, like an amusement park: there’s a spooky village, a deathtrap castle, a haunted manor, slimy sewers, an underground tomb, a Mad Max island. There are little coaster cars with purple velvet seats that carry you through the castle, there’s a mine cart ride, living suits of armor, there’s literally a giant animatronic statue of Salazar you can climb around on, there are trinkets and treasures everywhere and a merchant always magically appearing to sell you new toys to make sure you don’t ever get bored or think too hard, there’s a lava-filled carousel room with fire-breathing dragon statues, a haunted house section, a shooting gallery, a cave full of monster bugs, a hedge maze, a tower of terror where flaming barrels are rolled down the stairs(and then you get to pull the lever to roll them!), there’s a crane game, an evil villain lair with a deadly laser corridor, there is for some reason a subterranean battle maze in a cage suspended over a chasm, and your whole visit to this horror themed wonder park culminates in a jet ski ride through a collapsing cavern.

I find it baffling, but "a masterpiece", "the best Resident Evil game", and “one of the best video games ever made” are actual ways I have seen this game described. Multiple reviewers called it the best of the series, and people continue to call it that. Gone is the tense, atmospheric, resource management based survival horror gameplay, the harmonious balance of puzzles, survival and action that made this series so beloved. It’s replaced with a theme park of homogenous action gameplay and an incredibly stupid story. In my mind, it’s not Resident Evil at all, and may as well have belonged to an entirely new series that’s continued in RE5 and RE6. Another oft repeated bit of unquestioned conventional wisdom about RE4 is that it “saved the series from itself,” which is strange given that it marked the beginning of a slump that lasted over a decade. But, who knows? Maybe Resident Evil had to undergo this kind of transformation and decline to ultimately produce the four most recent Resident Evil games, all among the best of the survival horror genre. If these bad mid series games had to come first in order for the latest four exceptional games to come later, then I’ll gladly suffer their existence.

-Monster Review Corner-

Another thing I actually like about this game is a lot of the creature design work. The Mendez boss fight feels like a Resident Evil fight, and his insect-like true form looks like a classic Resident Evil BOW. Verdugo and U-3, likewise, feel like classically inhuman RE creatures, and they’d be right at home in a survival horror series entry. Regenerators and Iron Maidens are genuinely terrifying creatures – or they would be in a survival horror game. Here, they’re just another enemy to mop up. The Plagas that burst out of enemies are a shock when they first appear, and look like horrifying hybrids of The Thing and facehuggers. The chainsaw men are initially one of the best and most horror-centric additions to the game, that is, until you get powerful enough to trivialize them and they stop appearing. At least in the first two hours, they’re legitimately scary due to your narrow field of view and the fact that they one shot you. But it seems like with each thing this game may have done right, there comes something that it did very wrong. Toward the end of the game, you start fighting stuff like the zombies with huge gatling guns, and it’s very dumb. I hate these military zombies, I really do.

Overall monster score: 6/10

Overall monster score minus the merc zombies and dumb robed cultists: 9/10

Time to complete: 11:28

By around the 8 or 9 hour mark, I was practically begging for this game to end.

Resident Evil 5 (2009)

When I started this, I thought I'd like RE4 more than RE5, but it turns out 5 is a much better game. It's a big dumb action movie, but it's a much better big dumb action movie than RE4, or RE6. The action is better, the graphics and art direction are better, the controls are better, the story, characters and dialogue are all better. It's too bad they just couldn't let go of the QTEs. It's a very good Capcom action game, but again, not a great Resident Evil game. It's much more confident as an action game than RE4, and almost entirely stops pretending its gameplay is about anything other than action, to its benefit. The combat is faster and more responsive, but still feels slower and more methodical than most action games. It’s just overall a significantly improved action game.

RE5 Chris is so much better than RE4 Leon. Chris and Sheva are a likable duo who feel like a typical RE pair and play off of each other well. The dialogue likewise has much more natural localization than most if not all previous games in the series. I don't really like how they gave Jill and Wesker Kojima character designs, and this bad aesthetic continues in RE Rev.

The files unlocked in the menu are actually kinda good, and this game expands and fills out the setting in some interesting ways, setting the stage for the Revelations games and RE6.

If you read the files, you learn what happened to Umbrella and how they shut down. What's nice is that the files and in-game story actually go into the ramifications of a world where BOWs exist and can be sold to people with various agendas. It's a world of corporations, NGOs, political subterfuge, and black market dealers making profit off of human suffering, where a whole international organization was created to handle bioweapon incidents. It's disappointing that with this backdrop, the game's actual story is ultimately reduced to a battle in a volcano to save the world from a supervillain. It's a very comic book conclusion.

I know they're infected with a monster virus, but the visual of black people as writhing, animalistic subhumans is, uh... problematic, to say the least. Also, the image of Africa The Continent as a land of dead goats, megaphone-shouting lunatics and rabid, violent crowds. Also the scene early on where some brown savages are carrying off a scantily clad white woman. At least she turns into a tentacle monster shortly after instead of being rescued. It's hard to deny that they probably chose part of Africa as RE5's setting due to the misconception of the entire continent being a war-torn land of petty dictators.

Some parts of the game are much better than others. Generally, the early game is good. The ancient city level is... pretty bad. And it culminates in a laser mirror puzzle that some version of would feel at home in an older RE, but here feels out of place and rhythm-disrupting. I wouldn't necessarily say the game gets really bad toward the end, except for the two consecutive Wesker boss fights. The boss fights against Wesker are both bad and pretty dull. You don't really want your climactic final battle against a longtime series villain to be so boring. I imagine it's a bit less long and dull with another player, like everything in the game. I've played this game in co-op and alone, and you're really missing something by not playing co-op. Sheva's AI can be very frustrating and many parts are clearly designed for two human brains. Overall, RE5 ends pretty fast, and wears out its welcome less than RE4. The biggest problem with RE4, 5 and 6 is that they totally lose the spirit of survival horror. Because of that, I don’t have much to say about the gameplay of RE5 other than it’s a pretty decent action game. If you’ve played an action game, you’ve seen this kind of game design before, and it’s just not all that interesting. 

Neither of the D LCs missions are especially good or interesting, but I want to mention them because they do show the beginnings of Capcom experimenting with the episodic formula that they'd continue with Revelations, Revelations 2 and RE6.

Lost in Nightmares sees Jill and Chris exploring Ozwell Spencer's sprawling mansion, and is meant to be a throwback to the old style of RE. Unfortunately it doesn't have the spark that made those old games good, probably because it was designed by the RE5 team. It mostly ends up just being an extended and unnecessary reference to the classic games.

Desperate Escape is essentially just another level of RE5, but you play as Jill. Since RE5 already exists and is a fine length, this doesn't really need to exist.

Time to complete: 9:17

Resident Evil: Revelations (2012)

It's very rough around the edges, far from the production value you'd expect from the series, and definitely not something I'd call exceptional, but there are some good things going on. It definitely does feel more like RE than 4 or 5, but still only kinda feels like survival horror. It would be no great loss if this game didn't exist, but it's an interesting experiment.

This game was originally made for 3DS, and it feels very inconsistent, in a way you'd kind of expect a spinoff game made for a handheld console to be. It’s split up into episodes that usually take around half an hour, and have you switching between characters, and the short length was meant to be tailored to a handheld experience. Usually each chapter starts with a sort of interlude related to the main story where you play as other characters in another location, then it switches back to Jill exploring the main ship the game takes place on. The bite sized nature of the episodes makes it feel easy to keep playing. Some parts of the game are very fun and flow well, and other parts are just dull or frustrating. The game feels like a confused mix of survival horror and RE5 style action, and between that and the constant character swapping and hit-or-miss dialogue, it feels like a game that’s not very sure of what it wants to be. The bulk of the game where you’re playing as Jill aboard the Queen Zenobia, a BOW infested ship adrift at sea, tends to be the strongest part of the game, and it’s a great setting that’s perhaps underwhelming due to the graphical capabilities of the 3DS. You end up in a similar setting near the end of RE7, also directed by Koushi Nakanishi, and it looks a lot better there, and does justice to the concept better. Like so many things in Revelations, it was a good idea, but a bit underwhelming in its execution. This period of Resident Evil was definitely a time of trying out new directions for the series. Revelations, RE6, and another spin off I didn’t play called Operation Raccoon City were all released in 2012. RE6 is bad, Revelations is okay, and by all accounts Operation Raccoon City is not all that good. After a year like this, it makes sense Capcom went back to the drawing board. 

The writing in Revelations is not great, and is sometimes suddenly better or worse, but I appreciate what they were going for with the rapport between characters. I also feel like this game messes up that classic survival horror feel of exploring an intimidating place alone. You're always with a partner and always switching perspectives, so it never feels like you're alone, and because of that switching you never even really feel like you're isolated from the outside world on the Zenobia. It feels more like a TV show storytelling technique than something that works well for survival horror. Part of what makes survival horror work is that atmosphere created by feeling isolated and vulnerable, and it doesn't really work when the game is always cutting away between chapters to show what so-and-so is doing elsewhere.

Most of the characters get Kojima style designs, which I'm really not a fan of. Previous RE character designs were always very grounded without being too boring, and included classics like Jill's beret look, Jill's blue tube top look, Claire's magenta shorts look, and Ada's red dress look. I’m really not a fan of the skintight suit covered in tubes, straps and gadgets style of character design. It feels very “anime Rob Liefield.” 

I appreciate what they wanted to do by telling a story in multiple perspectives, and how they did it to suit a handheld game, but at the same time I feel like it disrupts the flow of exploration and the atmosphere of survival horror. Revelations 2 does a significantly better job of telling a story in different perspectives. Revelations was pretty fun to play, and had some decent ideas, but it’s nothing I’ll ever return to. It would be remiss of me not to mention my favorite bad dialogue of the game, so here are all of the best lines:

"Sorry, I don't date cannibal monsters."

"Me and my sweet ass are on the way!"

“Jill, where are you?”

"I dunno. A room, I think."

"These terrorists must be brought to justice... blast it!" 

-Monster Review Corner-

They went for an “under the sea” aesthetic for the monsters in this game, so almost every monster is a variation of a bloated pale humanoid. It does have guys that are like walking mutant sharks with arms that are swords and shields, which I’m not going to pretend isn’t sick, but they really, really don’t fit in a Resident Evil game. Oops, wrong game, these guys were supposed to go to Etrian Odyssey. The only kinda cool RE monster is the one that’s like a nightmare mermaid with spiny abdomen teeth. Overall monster score: 4/10

Time to complete: 5:12

Random fact: this was the first RE game where you could move while shooting.

Resident Evil 6 (2012)

I’m not going to have much to say about this one. RE6 is bad in many of the same ways the Tomb Raider reboot trilogy is. Abandoning almost everything that gives the series its unique identity in favor of trying to make a game that will sell a lot of copies. Obsessed with QTEs and explosive, loud set pieces, and resentful of player agency. "No no, silly player, look over here. Move at this speed. Go this way. We know best. Now that's entertainment!" It's a game that desperately wants to entertain and impress, dragging you by the wrist through loud, brash, guns-blazing action campaigns that totally miss the point of both horror and Resident Evil. Most of the time it just feels like an arcade shooter, and you're expected to stick to the script so closely that it may as well be a rail shooter. It really does take away everything that makes survival horror special: it doesn’t have a slow pace, it’s not about exploration, you don’t feel vulnerable or isolated, there’s no sense of map knowledge or pathfinding, it has overwrought combat mechanics, there’s pretty much no quiet time, the atmosphere is more goofy than scary, and it takes forever to finish. Sometimes it feels like this game really wanted to be Left 4 Dead 2: the way campaigns are set up like movies, the special zombie types, the co-op play, the sprawling levels. Except the devs seemed to have no clue as to what actually makes Left 4 Dead fun. The producer said the idea behind RE6 was to create the “ultimate horror entertainment,” which perfectly explains why it feels so much like a bad movie you’re being forced to sit through. It’s bombastic and stupid like a Fast and Furious movie, but doesn’t even have the idiot charm of one of those movies. Resident Evil 6 is a long, forgettable and stupid third-person action game that doesn't even have the common decency to be fun. 

Time to complete: Who knows. I'd finish this game if someone was paying me to, but they're not. People say it takes over 20 hours, which sounds unbearable. 

Resident Evil: Revelations 2

Finally some good fucking Resident Evil. I was actually kind of surprised by how good this game was, something the mediocre Revelations didn't prepare me for. It's a very welcome return to a more survival horror style of gameplay. From the start, it's dark, lonely and atmospheric. You do always have a companion, but it's still mostly very good at capturing that survival horror isolation feeling. 

It does have a few holdovers from RE6, most notably sprinting, skills and dodging, but it's the same style of dodge as RE3R, which doesn't feel totally out of place in a survival horror game, rather than the over the top rolls and dives of RE6. It doesn't have any of the dumb combat moves or the pointless stamina gauge or the action movie bombast. Skills are mostly passive and have only a very slight effect on gameplay. To me, this is a good thing, but it also means there may as well be no skills at all. It feels like something that’s needlessly tacked on, as though they wanted to convince a certain subset of their potential audience that it’s not just a classic survival horror experience, or perhaps they were trying to make it feel more modern, or extend replay value, or all of the above. In any case, it doesn’t need to be there and I’m glad it has little effect. 

The game has a good deal of combat, but combat is simple enough to fit into a survival horror game. It would have been fine with less, but it's still fine, because it actually has things outside of combat, unlike 4-6, and lets you play, explore, and figure things out without a lot of overbearing guidance. A lot of the puzzles and navigation feel like classic RE, and it’s a great return to form in that regard. Sometimes it has a bit too much combat for my taste, but this is made up for by long stretches with few or no enemies, and it has those survival horror moments of exploration and puzzle solving to balance things out. 

This game does AI companions right, for the first time in the series. Moira and Natalia are both really useful, and I found myself wanting to switch to them almost as often as I wanted to play Claire and Barry. You also don't really need to babysit them because it's pretty hard for them to die and they’re good at following behind. There are multiple good segments of the game where your characters separate, and Claire or Barry need to cover their partner while they traverse a room to gain access to the next area. Unlike in RE5, though, you’re not required to have a second player to have fun during these parts, and I don’t think it’s even possible to play the game co-op. At first glance this seems like a missed opportunity, but honestly, if someone had to play either of the secondary characters full time, it would get boring very quickly. I think it was a necessary sacrifice to make the two character system work well in a single player experience. I really don’t mind, since I think of survival horror as a single player genre. As a result, it lacks both the painfully slow character switching of RE0 and the painfully stupid AI of RE5. 

It’s funny that just as in RE5, Rev 2 ends in two consecutive Wesker boss fights, but this time against Alex Wesker rather than Albert. Also, these Wesker boss fights are much better. The final boss makes use of the character swapping, and actually does it really well. Barry is running from mutant Alex through cliffside caves, and you switch between him and Claire, who’s in a helicopter with a sniper rifle. It’s very much a Resident Evil fight, in that it’s more about positioning and survival than it is about fast shooting or burning the boss down with damage. 

I also actually think this game has a good story for the series, but mostly what makes it stand out is the characters themselves. I also really appreciate the callbacks to previous games. It refers back to things from RE1, Code Veronica, Revelations, and RE5. Alex Wesker, who I think previously only existed in lore notes, is the villain, and the Uroboros virus of RE5 plays a small role. It makes nods to the larger mythos without being so convoluted that someone who doesn’t know everything about every game would have trouble following. The central story is easy to follow: you’re trapped on an unknown mastermind’s monster infested deathtrap island, infected with a virus that causes you to turn into a disgusting, mindless monster if your level of fear gets too high. I love their choices of Claire and Barry as the main characters. Claire being a beloved series staple, and Barry being an unexpected but surprisingly great choice. I also love how you play in two different timelines, Claire and Moira on the island six months before, and Barry and Natalia searching for them in the present. You travel through a lot of the same areas, but fight different enemies, take different paths and solve different puzzles. Rev 2 also has the most naturalistic character dialogue and acting the series has seen thus far. It feels like the rapport they were going for in Rev 1, but done better, and both pairs of player characters play off of each other well. I like that Claire takes a matter-of-fact, seen it all before approach to the situation, because she’s been through two different self-contained zombie apocalypses, while Moira the teenager is always cursing and yelling and basically saying “what the fuck,” and she really acts like I think a teenager might in such a situation. Barry, the dumpy old dude with dad jokes who came prepared with his dorky backpack and cargo pants, and the fearless 10-year-old girl Natalia, also go together well. By the end, I found myself actually caring about what happened to these characters.

Between Rev 2's gameplay, dialogue, and visual style, it's easy to see how it paved the way for the third-person RE2 and RE3 remakes. It was a very good move for the series, and I'm surprised it's not mentioned more often. Despite being a sequel to a spin-off, it was at the time better at being Resident Evil than anything since REmake, which came out thirteen years prior. It has its highs and lows, but it’s a big step in the right direction, and a good survival horror game. It’s not quite the same quality of RE7, RE2R or RE3R, but I really liked Revelations 2. 

-Monster Review Corner-

Honestly, the monster designs are one of the weakest parts of Rev 2. The principal zombie-likes are just these kind of blobby, gross dudes who run at you, sometimes while holding wrenches or other makeshift weapons. Most of the enemies follow the same pattern, kinda blobby humanoids that look like bloated corpses or conglomerations of body parts, and I find it pretty dull. There are also some generic RE dogs that for some reason have pig heads. I never hold zombie dogs against a Resident Evil game, because you can’t have a Resident Evil without evil dogs. I don’t make the rules. As you progress you just get bigger, meaner blobby corpse guys with different abilities. There are only really two exceptions that I find less boring than the rest: Glasps, and Alex Wesker’s monstrous forms. Glasps are invisible, bloated flying insectoids that instantly kill you if they catch you. In order to kill them, you need to switch to Natalia, who can sense them and point them out, then switch back to Barry to take your shot. They cause this weird vision effect when they’re near, implying that their invisibility is something they’re doing to your mind, which to me feels less out of place than physical invisibility. If you had asked me before if I thought an invisible enemy was suited to RE, I would’ve said no, but Glasps feel like a creature out of a STALKER game, and I like it. Alex's final form is classic RE, like the Tyrant or G-Mutation designs, but with more of a disfigured crone vibe. Her unnaturally long spiky spine and humanoid limbs give her a creepy marionette feel. The heavily mutated humanoids, like Nemesis, tend to be among the best RE monster designs. Before she injects herself with Uroboros and transforms, she looks like an ancient haglike being with the air of a hunched vulture, with tubes and staples and half her face peeled off, a victim of her own T-Phobos virus.

Time to complete: 7:45

A practically perfect length. It feels like a long and satisfying experience that's paced well and wastes very little of your time. 

Resident Evil 7: Biohazard (2017)

I actually played this game in early 2019, before I ever conceived of this journey through the series, and I was as surprised as anyone at Resident Evil 7 being a good game. An oft repeated sentiment among RE fans who dislike RE7 is "it's not Resident Evil." In my mind, that's a very strange thing to say, since it borrows almost all of its design principles from the classic trilogy. I think the negativity some people feel towards this game is a knee-jerk reaction to the first person perspective. I've learned that like any fandom, Resident Evil's is full of idiots who just kind of say things, and barely make any attempt to understand the thing they like so much. (Not to say everyone who's an RE fan is an idiot. People like Suzi the Sphere Hunter and Critique Quest on YouTube have plenty of insightful things to say. Your average video game comment leaver or redditor is just a "whoa, cool videogame" meme). RE7 brings back so many things from classic RE: a slow methodical pace, save rooms, a classic style map, limited inventory space, item boxes, emblem keys, limited ammo and healing, a small array of weapons, a relatively small number of enemies, a creepy isolated mansion, a lone protagonist, survival horror puzzles, a focus on exploring in order to escape, item-base progression, simple mechanics, a feeling of vulnerability, environmental storytelling, a relatively simple story, a harmonious balance of all these elements, and a short game length. Even the character switch at one point near the end of the game is classic RE. The design philosophy applied to RE7 is classic survival horror, through and through. This is so much the case that I noticed myself playing in a similar way to the classic era games. Checking my map to carefully plan the safest, most optimal route. Managing inventory for the least amount of backtracking. Making sure I checked every room as thoroughly as possible for useful items. Slowly making my way through a small but interconnected and well designed map. Feeling that sense of tension every time I opened an unfamiliar door. Getting absorbed in the atmosphere and taking my time. It's weird to say playing a horror game feels comforting, or cozy, but RE7 does, in a way. All of this isn't to say it feels just like playing the old games. It's a reinvention, rather than a re-creation, and I think that was the right route to take. 

RE7 is the first game to use Capcom's RE Engine, and it looks extremely good, especially its lighting. The one thing that doesn't look exceptional is the models for people and their movements and expressions. People move and make facial expressions in that weird video game way that never looks natural, and it's kind of impressive how far Capcom has come since 2017 in that department. This is greatly improved in the 2 & 3 remakes, which also both use the RE Engine. The first thing I noticed while replaying this game is how incredibly detailed everything is, including the sound design. You hear your character's slightly hesitant breath, his footsteps, the creaks and groans of an old house, and other muffled sounds that can't possibly be attributed to a house's age. All of the visual details let you imagine how every part of the Baker farm slowly fell into disrepair, the toll that multiple floods took on the place, and the gradual disintegration of a family's sanity and normalcy reflected in the physical dilapidation of the house. Like the Spencer mansion in 1996, the Baker property is as much a character as it is a setting. The return to a seemingly abandoned, sprawling house as a setting really helps establish that this is a return to form, a return to slow, creeping horror. The house is a shadowy urbex nightmare of abandoned spaces and black mold. The washed up tanker and the mines you explore in the game's final stretch aren't nearly as memorable or characterful as the house. RE7 succeeds in actually being scary more than most Resident Evil games. It's very good at being a horror game, but has all of the survival horror gameplay that makes the genre so satisfying.

The RE7 team wisely created a new narrative that’s almost entirely disconnected from the convoluted mythos the series has been building on since Code Veronica, but used the ending to leave the narrative open to that connection to the larger story. This, combined with the first person perspective, makes the game feel more intimate and more focused, which really works for it. It's really more a story about the house and its inhabitants, about Eveline, Mia, Zoe and the Baker family than it is about its protagonist, Ethan Winters. In my opinion, he's one of the weaker parts of the game. This series isn’t exactly renowned for its brilliant character writing, but he’s just kinda there, like American cheese. At least characters like Jill, Carlos, Ada, Claire, Chris, Sheva, Barry and Wesker are likeable and/or memorable in a video game character kinda way. Ethan feels intentionally designed to be the most unremarkable mid-30s white dude you could think of, almost like he's meant for a target audience, and he drags an excellent game down a little bit. Even Nemesis, the monster whose only line is "STAAAARRSs," is more memorable. They can really do better. So while I’m very excited to see what they do with RE8 after the quality of the last three games, I was disappointed to learn I’d still be playing as Ethan. I'm hoping they'll figure out a way to make him less lame. The other thing is, almost every RE protagonist is a member of S.T.A.R.S. or the BSAA, or someone who knows how to shoot a gun, so they at least have some explanation for how good they are at handling these situations. Ethan is literally just some guy who goes into a swamp to find his wife.

RE7 is at heart an amalgamation of a bunch of horror tropes and references, even references to the series itself, and yet it feels more like a loving homage to horror than a hackneyed rehash. Meet the family from Texas Chainsaw Massacre as you explore the mansion from Resident Evil/The People Under the Stairs and evade your wife who’s now a deadite from Evil Dead, meet the gross body horror man from From Beyond, shambling swamp monsters, an evil witch grandma, and the little girl from F.E.A.R. You also solve a puzzle from Saw in a serial killer’s murder maze. It's all bundled together and interwoven so well that it feels like something fresh and unique rather than horror's greatest hits.

Time to complete: 7:40

Like all of the best survival horror games, it ends right before it starts wearing out its welcome. The short length keeps any of its ideas from getting stale.

-Monster Review Corner-

There really aren't that many different kinds of monsters in this game, which I'm fine with. The principle zombie-likes of this game are slimy black sinewy humanoids called molded. Eveline, the bioweapon in the form of a little girl, is the cause behind everything bad that happened to the house and family, and she creates a black mold which infects those she wants to control, and which molded are made of. A lot of people think they're boring enemies, but personally I think they're perfectly suited to the setting of a dilapidated, water-damaged house that's being slowly reclaimed by the surrounding wilderness. The first enemy you actually encounter in this game is your wife Mia, who switches between normal Mia and evil deadite Mia. She also chops your hand off with a chainsaw, which is pretty fun. Jack is the Nemesis of RE7's early game. He's an unnaturally pallid middle-aged man who stalks you and has regenerative abilities which are later revealed to be... extensive. As you explore the house in the early game, you're always on edge because you know he could be lurking anywhere. In his later boss form, he's a bulging body horror monstrosity. Marguerite is another enemy who stalks you through the boat house with a creepy lantern. She creates bugs that attack you, so she's like a nasty bug crone. As a boss she employs hit and run tactics, lurking in the dark waiting for you, so slow and careful is the best way to fight her. Eveline is just the little girl from FEAR. No two ways about it. I'm honestly not a big fan of her, just because I kind of hate the creepy little kid horror trope.

Side note: I think this is the first game in the whole series without evil dogs.

Overall monster score: 7/10

Resident Evil 2 (2019)

To my taste, Resident Evil 2 remake might be the most ideal incarnation of Resident Evil that exists. It has everything that makes survival horror great, and it’s all implemented extremely well. Combine this with the gorgeous graphics and chilling atmosphere and you have a practically perfect survival horror game. It feels like the culmination of everything that worked in the series over the years, with the visual fidelity to do it justice. It’s a good remake because it does more than just faithfully recreate the original – it takes the best ideas from across the series. It has the methodical pace of classic survival horror, the backtracking and slow unlocking of new areas, the shadowy, eerie atmosphere of REmake, the highly detailed graphics and sound design of RE7, the item combining of RE3, Revelations 2 and RE7, the close over-the-shoulder view of RE4 and beyond, which notably feels like Rev 2. I’ve talked about how survival horror is a balance of things, and in that sense, RE2R is superbly balanced. Visually, it’s so detailed and nails the atmosphere so perfectly that it makes you want to move slowly just because it feels like you should. Moving forward feels foreboding. The way zombies look and move is scary, and lickers are terrifying. Narratively, it’s the same story but told better, and characters are much more human and believable than the original. Leon is just a regular dude, not the regular shithead he became in RE4 and RE6, and Claire is a great character. The Raccoon City police station is the strongest setting of the game, it’s all shadowed corridors, bloodstained walls and shattered windows. You really get the sense of it being a building that was formerly used as a museum, and the barricaded doors and aftermath of carnage everywhere help you imagine what happened as people fought for their lives, and lost, before you arrived. The sound design is extremely well done and detailed, which I never noticed until I played with headphones. (I wish I had paid more attention to sound design on this series playthrough. It can be an important part of survival horror). Gameplay is no slouch, either. Patient, precise shooting and tactical retreats pay off, and inventory management remains an integral part of progressing through the game. You eventually have much more inventory space than in the classic games, but it still never really feels like too much until right near the end of the game. Puzzles and item usage feel just how they should in survival horror. The Sherry and Ada portions, in Claire and Leon’s campaigns respectively, are both a nice change of pace and they’re short enough that they don’t wear out their welcome. 

Strangely, I don’t feel like I have much to say about this game, just because it so well embodies everything I’ve already cited as being good about survival horror. The police station especially is exceptional, in terms of atmosphere, map design, the layout of enemy encounters, methodical play, and balance. It’s very light on anything resembling fast paced action, and I love that. All in all, I think this is the most well-rounded and well-made Resident Evil game to date. It would be a great place to start the series, and a great way to show someone everything good about the genre. 

Time to complete: 

First run, Leon A: 7:49

Second run, Claire A: 6:39

Resident Evil 3 (2020)

Here are the common criticisms people have of this game, and why they’re wrong:

“It’s bad because they cut content from the original.”

First of all, these two are both excellent games, but they’re different enough to be completely separate games. Even the maps and the paths you travel through the game are totally different. Sure, it would be fun to see a clock tower area in the style of the remakes, but I’m not going to hold nonexistent content against a game, especially one that’s this good. If you want to relive RE3, it still exists. No one seemed to complain about how different RE2R is.

“It’s too short.”

It’s pretty much the same length as RE3, and it’s a fine length for a survival horror game. I like that the game is fast paced and concise, and this captures the spirit of classic survival horror. In this day and age I find short games refreshing, and brevity is a mark in a game’s favor rather than a mark against it. Also, when a game is short, I’m a million times more likely to want to replay it in the future. Case in point, this was the second time I played this game. If it took 20 hours, if it even took 10 hours, it would run too long. 

“It’s an action game, not survival horror.”

It’s more of an action game than RE2R, but even that is up for debate. I feel like throughout a lot of the game, you’re really not doing more shooting than you do in RE2R, and Jill isn’t really any more heavily armed than Leon or Claire end up being in that game. There are more boss fights, and more explosions, though, and by the end of the game you have a ton of ammo and resources, but they generally give you tons of stuff at the end of these games. I mentioned that original RE3 felt more like an action movie than the previous two games, and the remake is a lot better at being an action movie. It has a breakneck start where you’re almost immediately in a fight for your life against Nemesis as he bursts through the wall of Jill’s apartment and chases you through the streets, which culminates in the player ramming him off of a parking garage with a car. I’m normally not a big fan of explosive set pieces in games, but this one is really good and is great at setting the tone for the rest of the game. Just like the original, it’s more action oriented, but it’s just much better at action than the original RE3. I really wouldn’t classify it as an action game, like a lot of people seem to. Its pedigree and presentation are thoroughly survival horror, in my mind. Inventory management is an integral part of the game and most of the game has that slow survival horror gameplay. One thing I like less about this game than RE2R is that it has fewer puzzles. It’s not like it doesn’t have any, but they take a backseat, which is why I’d call it more action-oriented survival horror. 

“Nemesis doesn’t show up often enough.”

I really don’t know where this comes from, because I feel like if he showed up any more often than he already does it would get irritating and redundant. There are literally four separate boss fights against him, and multiple parts where he chases Jill around. How much more do you need in a five and a half hour game?

Now that that’s cleared up, on to other things.

The Resident Evil 2 Remake has a lot of noticeable similarities to the original version, but Resident Evil 3 Remake is basically a completely different game, and I honestly think that’s a good thing. Somehow, when you play the original RE3 in 2020, it feels more dated than RE2, and I thought RE2 was a better game. 

Back on the topic of action: this game does a thing video games do I don’t usually like, which is when the main character is often seen falling off of exploding things and staggering through corridors and burning buildings and thrown against cars and so on and so forth. Here, I don’t really mind it though, maybe because it’s not a long game and these parts take up little of its play time. It also makes the fight against Nemesis feel more immediate and tangible. It does often feel like playing an action movie, but it’s Terminator 2, not Michael Bay. Also, the bad Nemesis boss fights of the original are replaced with actually good boss fights. 

One thing I really like about RE3R is the way characters are presented. Jill and Carlos both feel like more relatable, human characters, with actual personalities, and this makes you much more invested in their fight to escape the city. They end up being two of my favorite versions of RE characters, and I hope we see them in future games, though I find that kind of unlikely. Resident Evil is really not great when it comes to consistency in characters. It’s a shame because I’d love to see a direct sequel with this version of Jill and Carlos. Apart from these two, even the rest of the cast are given a lot more character and feel human. 

The Carlos segment of the game in the hospital is much more atmospheric and interesting than the original’s Carlos section, and this one ends with a siege style fight much like the cabin fight of RE4. On the topic of RE4, this game has a document explaining that Nemesis was created by implanting some kind of parasite into a Tyrant, and the author of the document berates Umbrella for going the route of parasites due to their unpredictability. You also fight a few zombies in the game who were infected by Nemesis and grow alien-looking parasites on their heads. It can be assumed that this is tying the lore of these games in with the Las Plagas parasites of RE4 and RE5 and paving the way for the RE4 Remake. I think this is neat, even though I wish they wouldn’t remake RE4 on account of it being garbage. 

All in all, I really like this game, and it’s one of my favorites of 2020. It’s a very good survival horror game with tons of detail and character that can be finished in two or three sittings. I have pretty much no complaints about it other than the aforementioned lack of puzzles. It’s more fast paced survival horror, but it’s very good in it’s own right.    

Time to complete: 4:36 (2nd playthrough)

I don’t know the exact time of my first playthrough, but my old save file that’s right before the final boss was at 5:52. 

Final Thoughts

I feel like after playing all of these games, it should be asked: is the story of Resident Evil any good? The answer to that is… kinda, sometimes? But also no, not really? It’s often entertaining, scary, gory, tense and atmospheric in the way that a good horror movie is. It’s also a little silly, often in a charming way, like how you can always tell at any given moment that this setting is a Japanese interpretation of America. The story itself goes well off the rails by the time you reach RE4. I mean, you’re rescuing the president’s daughter from evil zombie villagers and space alien tentacle monsters and cultists and ogres and then the zombies get body armor and guns. (Let's just not ever talk about the story of Code Veronica.) But the story isn’t really the point, is it? I think the series is vastly improved because there is a narrative, and it just wouldn't be the same without it, but you won’t find anything too deep or meaningful in that narrative. The one saving grace is that a defining feature of the story is ultimately the fact that corporations and governments are evil and only care about profit, to the extent of sacrificing hundreds of people in multiple biological weaponry incidents. That aspect at least feels true to life, especially in the midst of a pandemic that neither our government, nor the extremely powerful corporations that exercise control over that government, are doing anything about. Umbrella is an international corporation that no one dares or bothers to oppose who maintains their own paramilitary force, has their own private prisons and research sites, and has their hands in every part of the government and infrastructure of Raccoon City and who knows how many other cities. The villain is always ultimately the unchecked corporation - even in RE7, the nightmare family that seems disconnected from the outside world is ultimately revealed by in-game documents to be directly linked to corporate experimentation.

In Revelations 2, as well as the new 2 & 3 remakes, the characters are at least likable and there’s nothing incredibly dumb like you’ll find in RE 4, 5 or 6. Some would cite the part at the end of RE3R where Jill uses a humongous railgun called the FINGeR (Ferromagnetic Infantry-use Next Generation Railgun) to kill the final form of Nemesis as something dumb, but they are wrong. The characters of RE2R, RE3R and Revelations 2 are likeable and human, so they seem to at least be going in the right direction in that regard. The storytelling of RE7, RE2R and RE3R returns to the more grounded approach of the original trilogy, which is a good thing, and I think a good sign for the future of the series and its setting. 

There’s something I’ve noticed about RE games, which might just boil down to my own personal preferences. In pretty much every game, you end up in an entirely new location in the final act of the game, and that last part is never as good as the rest. In RE2R, you spend most of the game in the police station, then go to the sewers (and the orphanage if you’re playing as Claire). For the last stretch of the game you end up at NEST, Umbrella’s secret underground lab, and this part is weaker than the rest. Likewise, the ship and mines areas in RE7 are weaker than the majority of the game, the lab in RE3 and its remake, the lab in REmake, even the last section of RE5. This isn’t to say these parts are necessarily bad, just that they tend to be worse than the rest. At the same time, I think they’re necessary changes of pace and locale. I think there are two reasons for this: one, the first locations of RE games tend to be very strong settings with lots of character, and two, it’s an an example of a problem all horror fiction faces, which is that the more you ramp up tension, the harder it gets to do it in believable and interesting ways. If horror goes on too long, situations become predictable and it loses its bite, and survival horror games are no exception. Ramping up tension and action necessarily compromises the things that initially make horror enjoyable, like slow and eerie pacing, the danger of an unknown threat, the vulnerability of character or player, and the slow unraveling of mysterious and fatal circumstances. At the same time, horror needs a final act, needs some kind of closure, otherwise the building of tension feels like it was for nothing and the story is unsatisfying. I have no idea what the solution to this is, except brevity, which good RE games are very good at. 

I liked a few RE games already, but playing through them all really made me realize I like this series more than I previously thought, and I like survival horror a lot more than I thought. The really bad and long mid-series slump that lasted about thirteen years can’t be ignored, but I really like more than half of the games in the series. It created an entire genre with a devoted following, and I feel like RE2R brought the genre back into the limelight somewhat. You can see the influence of the genre even on games that aren’t really in the genre, like Prey, Gone Home, Bloodborne, and Left 4 Dead. I’m really looking forward to playing through my list of other survival horror games. 

Things Resident Evil showed me that I love about survival horror:

-Slow paced, thoughtful gameplay. You’re rarely rushed, and action isn’t the focus. Generally there’s nothing dragging you along in a certain direction, forcing you to look at or interact with certain things. It’s up to you to figure out the way forward.

-An emphasis on exploration. This is tied in with the previous point. A lot of the fear and tension comes from not knowing what's through the next door or what will happen next, but knowing you have to explore to progress. These games have a lot of backtracking, a healthy sense of map knowledge and memory as a useful skill, and lots of item-based progression. As I mentioned in my note about puzzles before, the whole map feels like a puzzle to be solved.

-A feeling of vulnerability, reinforced by things like limited defense options, slow movement, scarcity of items, limited inventory space, and simple combat. This goes hand in hand with the sense of isolation usually found in survival horror games.

-Environmental storytelling. Setting details being revealed through documents, destruction, corpses, bloodstains, locales, and even puzzles. 

-They aren’t defenseless walking sims. It's on you to survive. Having a way to respond to threats, but not feeling like you ever have quite enough, is much scarier than being defenseless. It's because it's a game - mechanically, you know a game isn't just going to give you no defenses, then throw you to the wolves. Survival horror acknowledges its framework of video game, its limitations and advantages. It gives more of a feeling of success or failure hinging on your decisions rather than on scripted events. The player feels like they have more agency, even if it's not always strictly the case.

-Making use of silence, something games aren't generally good at. This ties in with quiet time, something I wish more games were aware of. That is, times when the player is just quietly left to their own devices, exploring alone, solving puzzles, reading notes. You're not in danger 100% of the time, which gives the danger teeth.

-Simplicity of play, or accessibility. These games generally don’t contain any difficult mechanics or concepts that need to be explained, have little need for tutorials, and are easy to understand and play. Things like difficulty settings, auto aim, and the assist modes seen in RE2R and RE3R expand accessibility too. I think difficulty goes in this category too. Honestly, most survival horror games aren’t all that hard, because if you died all the time, you’d get bored and frustrated. Survival horror games seem to actually want you to have a good time. Imagine that. 

-Mostly short playtime. A genre that's often good at not wasting your time. It’s very good for people without much time or people who like to actually be able to finish games and move on to other games, or replay games. It might sound weird, but also, sometimes I feel like really long games have something to hide under all that repetitive content.

-New weapons or abilities feel earned, because you generally go through a lot to get to them and they’re not handed out very often.

-A harmonious balance of elements. When a survival horror game is good, it elegantly combines all of the aforementioned traits.

RE Score Sheet

Endings where I flew away in a helicopter: 8 Crank or valve handles collected and turned: 16 Zombies or dogs or birds that burst through windows: 19 Object pushing puzzles: 14 Shaped indentations filled (including cogs): 71 Jump scares: 13 Puzzles where you configure shapes or valves or gears or numbers or lights a certain way: 18 Oversized animal types: 12 (Spider, Bee, Moth, Snake, Shark, Worm, Scorpion, Cockroach, Centipede, Bat, Salamander, A Different Bat) Rooms with monsters in tubes: 8 Gigantic mutant plants: 4 Times when it looked like a character died but they didn't really: 10 Secret subterranean labs: 10 Switches that change the water level: 5 Batteries/cables attached to things: 9 Clock towers: 4 Vaccines synthesized: 4 Self destruct sequences: 7 Helicopters shot down or otherwise destroyed right before they were used to escape: 6 Unique viruses: 9 (Progenitor Virus, T-Virus, G-Virus, T-Veronica Virus, Uroburos Virus, T-Abyss Virus, C-Virus, T-Phobos Virus, Mold Virus)

Resident Evil Tier List

Obligatory tier list disclaimer: tier lists are stupid and bad and fail to acknowledge the many nuances of things.

[shireness-says]

A Twelve-Legged Matchmaker

Summary: Killian Jones has an undeniable crush on Emma Swan. He just needs a little nudge from man's best friend to act on it. Rated T for language. ~4K. Also on AO3.

~~~~~

A/N: Presenting my entry for the @cspupstravaganza! Huge thanks to @profdanglaisstuff to organizing such a fun event. This was a fun one to write. As always, extra kudos to @snidgetsafan for her phenomenal beta skills.

Tagging the usual suspects: @thisonesatellite, @scientificapricot, @teamhook, @kmomof4, @thejollyroger-writer, @snowbellewells, @winterbaby89, @awkwardnessandbaseball

Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

~~~~~

When Killian Jones decided that he’d like a pet - a dog, specifically - Bonny was not exactly what he’d had in mind.

It wasn't like he had a particular dog in mind when he went to the local shelter; mostly, he’d trusted an acquaintance who worked at the kennel would steer him towards a companion that would suit him best. David had suggested the idea in the first place when Killian had expressed loneliness after Liam had moved to Providence for a job, and had seemed more than happy to help. That's not to say that he didn't have an idea of the type of dog he was looking for; a puppy, something that would grow up to be at least midsize and not shed too much. A man's dog who he could take on runs and hikes and his boat. Maybe a labrador. 

Bonny, however, has different ideas.

Bonny technically shouldn't have been in the side room where all the puppies romped around - she was full grown at three years, after all - but her size hadn't looked too out of place. Long-haired dachshunds didn't get that large after all, unless you were measuring in spine length. He'd been sat on the floor, letting all the wee pups come and check him out and contemplating the pros and cons of a labrador-weimaraner mix when Bonny had sauntered right over to curl up in his lap. One look into those big eyes, especially when coupled with those soft and floppy ears, and Killian had known he'd be going home with a very different dog than he’d expected. So he'd filled out the paperwork and bought all kinds of supplies and explained to a very attentive dog that a man has his limits and referring to his dog as Precious was a line he just wasn't willing to cross, and the little dog had been his. Bonny, after the fierce lady pirate Anne Bonny. A proper sailor's name for a less-than-proper sailor's dog.

(He will say, his good girl had taken to the water like a pro; there's a whole album on his phone after their six months together of Bonny on the Jolly's deck, all decked out in her life jacket. Yes, he's now a man that dresses his dog in a life jacket. No, he doesn't care what you have to say about that.)

Bonny may not have been the dog he expected to adopt, but there's no doubt that she's the right dog for him. She's an affectionate little thing, a true cuddle bug at heart, and even if he has to wrestle half his bed back from her - really, his dog takes up an absurd amount of space for such a small creature - he wouldn't have it any other way. There's just something about the trust that she so obviously has in him and the way her entire back half wiggles with the force of her happiness when he comes home after a long day of work. 

(There’s also the added bonus that she’s already housetrained; the details of that process weren’t at the front of Killian’s mind when he first decided that he wanted a puppy.)

There's other unexpected advantages that come along with pet guardianship as well - namely the ability to get closer to his stunning blonde neighbor.

Before anyone makes any mistaken assumptions, it's not like that. He didn't adopt the dog as a ploy to pick up chicks - though he has to admit, if that was his aim, he couldn't have picked a better dog and a worse target. Emma Swan lives two doors down in a little cottage with her young son - Henry, if he remembers the name correctly. He'd been smitten from the moment the moving truck had pulled up. That's how he'd met David too, actually, his acquaintance at the kennel. He's still a little uncertain about the relationship there, but he knows that David has a tendency towards the overprotective where the lovely blonde is concerned. 

Emma has been wary of his advances, though, not that he can blame her; with Henry involved and the lad's father nowhere in sight, she's got all the more reason to protect her heart. He'd tried his usual flirting techniques when they'd first started crossing paths - the charm, the smirk, the swagger, the little innuendos women usually love - but she'd shut that down with a cold tone and an unamused look in her eyes. After that... well, it had seemed most gentlemanly to let sleeping dogs lie. He'd tried his best, she clearly wasn't interested, and that would have to be that.

Still. He yearns, in a way that isn't at all befitting of anyone above the age of fifteen - let alone a grown man of thirty. She's lovely and strong and he can't help but be absolutely taken with everything about her. 

It's a happy coincidence that the park he likes to take Bonny to for walks just happens to be the same park where Emma takes Henry to the playground. He swears. He didn't even know that was the case until he decided that Bonny could use a little socializing with creatures of her own species, something that she's definitely not getting in their little neighborhood. 

(Yes, he's turned into the most obnoxious dog dad. He is fully aware.)

As he said before, even once he knew that the park and playground were one of the Swan's regular haunts, he wasn't using Bonny as some sort of bait. He'd never dare - both because he'd never disrespect his Very Good Girl like that and because he knows Emma would see right through him immediately. The thing is, Henry's at just that perfect age where he's absolutely fascinated by puppies of all sizes - especially Bonny. As hesitant as Emma obviously is about her son's obvious enthusiasm, it's equally obvious that the little dog adores the toddler right back. Now, three months after Killian first started taking Bonny to the park, the two are thick as thieves; Henry's laugh rings out across the park's grassy green spaces as the two romp and chase each other, Bonny's entire back half wiggling in her excitement. It's also a chance for Killian to get to know Emma a little better. He wouldn't say that they're friends at the end of it, but there's a detente for certain. Maybe on an optimistic day, he'd even say that they were friendly. It's not something they've talked about, per se, but he definitely feels like some of the ice has thawed. 

"Thanks for this," she tells him quietly one day as they watch Henry frolic about the open space and Bonny chase along after him, making a fool of herself practically tripping over her elongated back half in her loving eagerness to play with the small human.

"What for?" Killian asks. It doesn't quite track; he's not doing particularly much, beyond sitting on a bench in varying amounts of silence with his lovely neighbor. What a hardship. 

"For letting Henry play with your dog," she replies, nodding in the direction of the spectacle. "Henry really wants a dog right now, and... well, we just can't afford it, honestly. There are months where it feels like enough of a victory to have kept Henry well-fed. Doesn't mean he's good about understanding that," she laughs. It sounds forced, like she's trying unnecessarily to lighten the mood; Killian doesn't much like it. "So... thank you, I guess, for being so understanding about letting him get his fix. I appreciate it."

"It's no problem, lass," Killian responds with a small smile. "And before you try to protest, it seriously isn't. You are - or rather, Henry is doing me a favor, wearing her out a bit. It means I'll just have a sweet, sleepy cuddle bug when I get home, which will be a nice change than her usual running around the house and trying to figure out if she wants in or out. Sweet thing just can't figure it out," he chuckles.

"Henry's the same way - the sleepiness, not the inside or outside thing," she laughs. It seems real this time, which Killian appreciates. She deserves to have more reasons to smile. "He gets home and practically just collapses - no arguing about naptime or anything, which is a pretty novel concept, let me tell you. Maybe that's what I should be thanking you for - letting your dog wear my kid out. It takes some doing, seriously."

"Ah, well, I'm always happy to help," Killian replies awkwardly with an even more awkward wink. He's not especially good about accepting this type of compliment - or any really. Still, it seems less gentlemanly at this point not to. "Anything for milady."

(In retrospect, he should have asked her to dinner at that point - as a date, as friends, as just two adults and a three-year-old eating lasagna, whatever. He just wants an excuse to see her outside of this park. That was his chance, while they were still in the middle of their rapport, and he blatantly missed it. Stupid, oblivious bastard. Time with only tell if he gets another opportunity.)

There are still things to look forward to, even as the weather turns colder and the leaves turn a multitude of colors. Bonny and Henry seem to be the only ones who aren't bothered by the shift in the weather; temperatures change fairly dramatically, up here in coastal Maine. The weather isn't what makes the appeal of this season, however. This year, that designation belongs to Halloween.

"Henry is so excited," Emma explains as they watch Henry clamber up the playground's structure; for once, Killian's crazy dog is curled at his and Emma's feet instead of chasing after her favorite toddler. Maybe she's actually learned how poorly adapted she is to the playground equipment. "He's going to be a pirate, if he hasn't shouted it in your face yet. What are you guys going to do?"

"Oh, I've got a plan in mind," Killian replies vaguely. It's not true in the least; Killian had rather forgot about the holiday until just now. But there's no way he can disappoint his favorite little swashbuckler either, leaving Killian stuck. At least for the moment. 

Which is how they've ended up here: one grown adult man, a bowl of candy, and his absurdly-shaped dog, now with twelve legs as the eight octopus limbs of her costume comically jangle every time she moves. She's a kraken. He found the knit, tentacled abomination of a sweater on Etsy. Somehow, the get-up makes her look even less threatening, which Killian didn't think was possible. Granted, her little matching hat featuring eyes poking out of her forehead doesn't help the picture. Killian isn't much for costumes himself, but damn if he won't dress his ridiculous little dog.

“Now we’re going to be very good and not run out the door, no matter how long it’s open, right?” he asks Bonny, more seriously than anyone would likely believe. So he talks to his dog; so what? Bonny, for her part, does a very good job of sitting calmly enough at his feet, though her tail wags ferociously.

He’ll take that as an agreement.

“Alright, then, let’s go! Let’s go see all the little kiddies!” he coos, patting at his leg until the little pup springs back to her feet. Not that it takes much prodding; despite her size, Bonny has all the energy of a coiled spring. Eagerly, she follows him to his small entryway, where Killian has set up a camp chair just inside the screen door. Killian knows from past years that the crowds of trick-or-treaters come in waves - fairly steady throughout the night, but with pauses in between where he hopes to maybe catch up on the mystery novel he’d checked out from the library. 

He doesn’t have to wait very long; by 6:30, the trickle of princesses and ninjas and devils begins, all here to pillage his candy (an excellent mix of Reese’s and 3 Musketeers and Milky Ways, with a bag of Twizzlers thrown in for good measure; never let him be accused of being the lame house in his neighborhood). Bonny, of course, is a hit; he can tell that she wants to leap all over their little visitors, begging for scritches and maybe a sample from their candy bags, but she stays put when Killian reminds her to stay inside. Truly, the best girl. 

By the end of the evening, however, he’s anxious; it’s almost eight, the proper trick-or-treaters have trickled off as teenagers in half-assed costumes who just want free candy take their place, and he still hasn’t seen Emma. Not that she and Henry are obligated to come by his house or anything - of course they’re not. Maybe they decided to cut the night short, or maybe (God forbid) Henry came down with something and they couldn’t come out at all. Or maybe they just decided to skip his house. Whatever. It’s fine, absolutely fine. That’s their prerogative. He’d just hope, after all Henry’s talk of his wonderful pirate costume, he’d maybe get to see it in person. 

(That is the reason he put Bonny in a kraken sweater, of all things. It wasn’t exactly a coincidence - rather, a planned coordination.)

Of course, the moment he starts accepting that the Swans just aren’t coming, the dynamic duo themselves begin making their way up his walk. Henry’s costume is everything he’d promised it would be, complete with a bandana and a drawn-on mustache and fake buckles on his light-up sneakers and a hook on his hand. Emma herself isn’t quite as decked out, but even she’s sporting a pair of cat ears and some eyeliner whiskers.

“Sorry we’re so late,” she calls as they approach his porch. “We went over to David’s neighborhood for trick-or-treating. They’ve got the good candy, supposedly.”

“Ah, naturally,” Killian smiles back. “I hope you didn’t cut your fun short, you didn’t have to drop by,” he tries to protest, but Emma waves him off.

“Henry was wearing out anyways. Plus you’re, like, two houses down from ours. It’s not exactly a hardship to make such a long trek.”

"Well I’m happy you did," Killian says, before opening the door wide and stepping aside. "Would you like to come in for a few minutes? The trick-or-treaters have mostly trickled off. I could make us a few cups of hot chocolate."

"That'd be nice. Thanks, Killian," she smiles back, helping Henry up the last few steps.

"Arrrrrr," the little boy growls ferociously. He's certainly committed to the pirate act; he even tries to shake his hook at Killian, but the effect is kind of ruined when the plastic appendage flies off to land at Killian's feet.

"I don't know about pirates, though," Killian teases with a wink at Emma. "Can I really trust such a fearsome pirate captain in my house?"

"That's a good point," Emma replies thoughtfully, playing along. "They are kind of known for pillaging. Will a pirate really be able to behave himself inside?"

"Yeah!" Henry's little voice pipes up from thigh level.

Killian keeps it going. "I've got a nice set of bookends in there; you don't think the captain would try and steal them, do you?"

"You know, I don't know. It might be better if only I came in."

"Now, I'll never say no to time alone with you, Swan," he replies saucily. It's pretty obvious that Emma almost certainly didn't think about her words first, and definitely didn't mean them that way; the sudden pops of pink on her cheeks are proof enough of that. "Come in, then. You know, I'll bet that pirates don't like hot chocolate anyways..."

"I do!" Henry says indignantly. Well, at least as indignantly as a three year old can manage. Which is a lot, all things considered. "It's me, Killy!"

"Me who?"

"Henry!"

Killian makes a show of crouching down and squinting, as if to see beneath the makeup. "Well look at that, it is Henry! You've got such a good costume, I didn't even recognize you with all that on. Do Henrys like hot chocolate, then?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright, you can come in too, then," Killian laughs, ruffling his hand along the boy's hair as he stands up.

As the Swans walk into his entryway and he closes the screen door again, Bonny wanders back in from the kitchen, undoubtedly drawn by the noise. Personally, Killian thinks she makes a very adorable sight with all those tentacles bobbing and swaying and dragging as she walks.

Henry, however, seems to disagree, as he catches one sight of Killian's wee beastie and hides back behind Emma, clutching at her leg. It's definitely not the reaction that Killian expected, especially when Henry usually gets along so well with Bonny.

"It's alright, it's just Bonny," Emma tries to tell him, dropping her voice into that soothing tone Killian's come to associate with motherhood and love and a home he's long since lost. 

"It's just a costume," Killian explains, though he does also crouch down to catch Bonny by her collar and keep her from barreling forward like he can already tell she wants to. Quickly, he undoes the velcro on the hat and tugs it off; it probably does look a little alarming to young eyes. "See?"

"She's just playing pretend, kiddo. Just like you are."

Henry still looks a little wary, but Bonny is about ready to wiggle out of Killian's grasp in her excitement to see her favorite little boy, so he quickly scoops her up to bring her to Henry in a more controlled manner. 

Once Bonny's familiar pink tongue flicks out to kiss at Henry's hands and face, he relaxes, thank goodness. "You're silly, Bonny!" he giggles. 

"Well she wanted to dress to match you, lad," Killian smiles, setting the pup down so boy and beast can wrestle and play.

"She really does make a cute sea monster," Emma chuckles as they watch.

“About as well behaved as one too, some days,” Killian grumbles without any heat. It’s hard to really mean it when Bonny is so obviously good with Henry. “Let’s go to the kitchen, I’ll make you that hot chocolate.”

The kitchen is just a few steps from the living room where Henry and Bonny now play and with a clear line of sight into the other room, so he knows they won’t have to worry about the little rascals escaping their supervision. Not that there’s much to get into; the liquor and the matches are in the kitchen, and he’s not aware of anything he’d need to worry about the devious duo breaking. The living room is only filled with shelves and shelves of books. About the worst either one could do is disrupt a stack of coffee table books, and some of those would probably benefit from having pages torn out; the “Mailboxes of the Northeast” book that Belle gifted him is a real head scratcher.

“Sorry about all that,” Killian tells Emma sheepishly, scratching behind his ear in mild embarrassment. “I thought it would be a fun idea to kind of tie Bonny’s costume into Henry’s, since I knew how excited he was, but that obviously backfired. I didn’t mean to scare him, Emma, truly.”

Killian pours all his sincerity into the words, but Emma just waves him off casually. “Killian, it’s fine. He’s three, there’s going to be things that scare him sometimes, and sometimes they’ll be pretty weird. That’s kids. You couldn’t have predicted that, and it’s not your fault. And anyways,” she nods towards her son in the other room with a fond smile, “it doesn’t look like it did any permanent damage, if the way they’re carrying on in your living room is any indication.”

“That’s true,” Killian has to admit. The way Henry and Bonny are alternately chasing one another around doesn’t exactly suggest a traumatized child. “Well, I just wanted to… make sure, I guess, that you knew I didn’t mean to scare him.”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t think that.” They lapse into silence as Killian busies himself with all the necessities of making hot chocolate - collecting milk from the fridge, grabbing a trio of mugs, searching at the back of the cupboard for the tin of good Ghirardelli powder. It’s a special occasion to have the Swans in his kitchen, after all, and they only deserve the best. He’s just finishing measuring out the proper amount of milk into the saucepan - go big or go home, right, and using the microwave is decidedly not going big - when Emma speaks again.

“I actually meant to thank you for being so good with Henry. I know all that back there wasn’t exactly what you expected when you invited us inside, but you did good. Helping to calm him down, I mean. Though even before that, with the playing and teasing about his costume… you’re really good with him.”

“Oh, Swan, you don’t need to thank me for that.” Even as Killian protests, he can feel a flush of pleased embarrassment creeping up his neck. “Thank you, but it’s not necessary. Henry’s a wonderful lad, a real credit to you.”

Emma blows past the compliment, though he does detect the slightest flush on her cheeks. “Maybe you don’t think it’s much, but it means a lot to me. Henry… there’s not really a lot of male role models in his life. Obviously, his dad’s not in the picture, so it’s pretty much just David. A lot of guys… most guys don’t really want to step up like that.”

“It’s my pleasure, Emma,” Killian replies, smiling gently. This almost feels like the beginning of a moment in a way that he hadn’t expected when they’d started this conversation. A part of him wants to seize on that feeling - to step into her space further, to brush that stray lock of hair back behind her ear, to let their hands just barely graze. It’s terrifying to take that step, though, when he knows that could break apart whatever understanding they’ve reached in their weeks at the park.

Killian thinks that Emma must be of the same mind, as he can see her swallow nervously before she continues again. “I actually wanted to ask you —”

He never finds out what Emma wanted to ask him, however, as right at that moment, Henry and Bonny burst into the kitchen, chasing each other around his and Emma’s legs and forcing them closer into each other’s space. It’s like a moment out of some cliche movie, and Killian can barely breathe for the anticipation of it all, his hands somehow braced against Emma’s upper arms as she stares back at him with eyes blown wide. It’s too close, and not close enough, and he really out to step back out of her space now that the little rascals have run back into the living room — 

But then Emma presses up on her toes to drop a gentle kiss on his lips, and all the frantic thoughts running through his head disappear. It’s just a quick little thing - barely a brush of her lips against his - but something about the tentative gesture feels like trust, feels like a different commitment. It feels like hope. 

“That was…” Killian tries to say, not certain of any of his words in truth, no real idea of how that sentence ends. Amazing? Unexpected? Life-changing?

“I was wondering if you’d want to get dinner sometime,” Emma finishes on a rush. Her cheeks are tinted the most charming shade of pink, but she doesn’t seem nervous about the asking - more settled, like she finally knows what she wants and how to get it. Luckily for her, he wants the same.

“I’d love that, Swan.” Like there’s any other answer.

“Well then… good.”

“Good.” As they stand in the kitchen, smiling like fools, Killian can’t help the absolutely silly thought that crosses his mind:

Bonny’s earned herself an awful lot of treats.

(After her clever efforts to push him and Emma together - literally, in this case? She more than deserves it.)

[sorcererinthestars]

Winter’s Awakening and Summer’s Last Dance

July 2021: rewritten. I’d appreciate it if you could share this one!

Jerevin Fae AU. Somewhat NSFW.

Heavy influence taken from the Samhain Fire Festival put on in Edinburgh every year. The fight between the Summer and the Winter Kings are put on in full detail on top of Calton’s Hill every Samhain and Beltane. Someday I’ll get to go! See the original myth here.

Ship: Jerevin

-

Gavin knows that his time as King is waning. He sits upon his throne, made of twined branches still sprouting their green leaves even as a subtle chill drifts through the air, and he knows. This happens every time, this ending, another turn in the Wheel of the Year, but he likes it not. His Revelers still dance in the green pasture sprawled out in front of him, some sleeping where they had fallen in their dance, some curled up by his feet against the throne. His Children, his Merry-Makers, they depended on him and his Season for their joy.

They’d all be gone soon. The winter’s chill was in the air, every once in a while it’d drift past his nose, the smell of leaves turning crisp as his Counterpart’s energy started to gather like the rays of sun upon his own golden skin.

Soon he as the Summer King would have to meet the Winter King yet again. They would dance and they would part and hopefully be able to settle into yet another Turn without needless bloodshed.

Gavin smiles gently - almost a smirk upon his pretty face - as he thinks of the last meeting of him and the Winter King. He had won that battle during the last Beltane festivities, when his forces triumphed over the Winter Kings’ last energy. It was almost tragic to look upon his Counterpart during their last meeting - the man was almost entirely depleted of his Ethereal Energies by that point. But he had given quite a show, even as he had laid beneath Gavin and gazed up at him.

Perhaps it was not love. Love was a pitiful, Mortal thing. It was not one for their dances, for their frolicking and merry-making. But Gavin got something out of his meetings with his Counterpart, a feeling of Oneness when they made love and ceded something of their power to the other.

In days long past, they used to fight with blades and sharpened sticks. Used to draw blood and fight for supremacy. But the Wheel of the Year turned unceasingly and who were they to argue with Fates far more powerful than Themselves? So they turned to a different battlefield, a game of power and control between two Beings far greater than the sum of their parts.

One of them always ended up on Top and won that seasons’ battle. The other would fade distantly away when they finished, ceding the power and energy to the other. Then they’d have a season of Revelry and merry-making until the other came back to capture their time again.

Gavin did wonder what the other King did during his turn around the Wheel, but he was forbidden to witness such times. Summer did not live long on a crisp Winter morn.

If the Revelers looked upon Gavin in this time, seeing a languidly golden man draped across a Summers’ throne, they’d see a King with no worry or care across his face, a golden crown of sunlight across his brow. They’d say he was oblivious to his coming loss even as the rest of them know that they cannot dance forever. All good times must come to an end and they must cede the lands to those of the Hearth.

But as summer grows overripe, almost hyperactive in its dying breath, a plentiful harvest stored away for the darker times, Gavin - The Summer King - looks over the fields and hills and valleys to the sea cliffs where he knows his Counterpart, his Lover, his Other Half is starting to stir.

–

As the cold air starts to gather across the dark sea cliffs, the Caillech - the Earth Mother, Triple Goddess - sends the Voice of the Sea to wake Jeremy from where he slumbers deep within the earth, in a land where the Sunlight cannot taint the cold skin of his form, mar his sleeping body as it awaits the new land.

He sleeps not, instead he is in almost a trance. Waiting, day by day, gathering his Energies slowly as the Summer King revels and dances overhead. Somewhere deep inside, he knows his Other Half is enjoying Himself wildly as he dances and lays with women and men and the genderless beings of the woods and the wind. He almost smiles. His roguish Counterpart never could resist an ounce of fun.

His winged Valraven, the keepers of The Hearth, his protective guard, are the ones who guide him back to his Body and Life as the sun and the night share equal times in the Sky. The air is crisp across his nose and kisses his cheeks with red blotches. He grins truly now, taking his first breath of air since he had laid back and allowed The Summer King to claim his rightful spot. The memory dances across his newly formed body and he hums in almost pleasure.

Sated, filled with a wild, uncontrollable energy he could hardly control, he knows it is almost His Time to live and to dance with the snow as it covers this Summer world in a blanket of white. Until blood looks sharp and vivid across a snowy landscape, until the air burns in his lungs in a way that reminds him - for now - he is vividly, sharply Alive.

It is almost his Time to rise, to take back what is rightfully His. All he has to do is mount that arrogant, wild-eyed little Fae Summer King and steal the last of his breath into his own lungs. A dance they were both willing to do. He’d look forward to having that being underneath him this time. His strength was almost at its max, now, so powerful compared to the slight form of the other.

Although, Jeremy does allow himself a brief moment of fondness. For whatever they were as Enemies, the two Balanced each other nicely, two sides of the same Wheel. He would enjoy their meeting. What was he to tell himself… he always did. Even when it was him giving up the ghost and allowing the other his reign Supreme?

However, the world for now is not his own. His Court had not yet been summoned. He is alone in a world that is turning slowly towards his power, but The Summer King has not yet ceded his grip on the land. He is alone. Solitary as he moves out of the sea cliffs and towards the Forest Wood where the Summer King tends to spend his time.

He feels the other’s Energies like a beacon, leading him towards the Meadow where they always have their last stand. Where before blood used to eagerly soak into the parched ground, now their sweat and lust do so instead. This is a far sweeter battle. And a far more satisfying one.

For as he says, they are not Enemies, not truly. They are two sides of the same coin, one cannot be without the other. Lovers, if such a mortal word could even apply.

He senses the Call and follows it blindly as the leaves beckon him Orange and Red and a delightful chill runs down the pale unmarked skin of his back.

–

For Jeremy, The Winter King, it seems like hardly any time has passed since he saw The Summer King’s visage across this Meadow. Last time, the Summer King had won. But now it was his turn and he gives a feral smile as he sees the other standing, his retinue surrounding him at first and then fading into the mist.

It was Samhain. It was the time that the dark would triumph against the Summer. For the world to die and be reborn again, for the Cleansing to take place. This was the time that Jeremy would rise and take his rightful place as the Winter King.

He steps forward, bowing gracefully, sweeping his arms in a gesture that shows off the hearty life in his new form. He’s muscly again, a striking figure as he stands, unclothed and ready for their dance.

The Summer King approaches warily. He knows this is the end of him and he casts aside the Vestements of his power - first the cloak of leaves he wears across his slender golden shoulders and then his resplendant golden Sun Crown.

They meet each other not as Kings, but as equals.

“Jeremy,” Gavin speaks, voice radiating across the meadow. It shakes not with arrogance or with fear, but instead with warm pleasure. “My King. It has been much too long.”

“And you, my little King,” Jeremy replies, bowing to him gracefully with a warm smile. “I have long slumbered. Have you fun with your Season? Made merry? Danced freely? Had all others bow to your Splendor and bless the Harvest you provided?”

Gavin smiles almost wickedly. “Yes. It has been quite fun.”

“Good,” Jeremy says, almost tenderly. He does not begrudge his fellow King his frolic. They were allowed to do as they pleased during their time. “You look tired.”

“The dance is done and I am seeking my bed,” Gavin answers truthfully. He does not shine so bright as the first time we had seen him, that is true. His golden light seems faded. It is time for Summer to die for Winter to rise.

“I shall allow that to happen, little one,” Jeremy purrs gently and then pulls Gavin into a hungry kiss. Their energy surges as they meet between them, Winter King meets Summer King in their battle form, fighting with tongue and teeth the way they used to with sword and steel. Gavin’s power surges for one last night of lust and pleasure, fighting with him as if they didn’t know how this was going to end.

Making it fun for the time they had. This was always the most supreme pleasure, the most bubbling of joy, as their energies fit together perfectly in the sweetest ecstasy. They dance with one another, true dance as the winter’s melody of the Wind mixes with the rustling of Gavin’s dying leaves.

Then they fall to mate as One, Jeremy on top of Gavin as he will take his energy as his own. They cry out but don’t protest, drinking what they can from each other, taking every ounce of pleasure they could in the last night of Togetherness they’d get before the end of the Winter season and the start again in the Spring, on some far off Beltane Jeremy didn’t want to rush.

As they end, panting, Jeremy steals a gentle kiss from Gavin’s lips. “Thank you, Summer King,” he says formally, and then breathes a gentle whisper into Gavin’s ear as the other shudders for breath as he comes down from his high. “Thank you, Gavin.”

Gavin smiles at him and one golden hand brushes Jeremy’s white marble cheek. “Be well and make merry,” he purrs before he fades away.

The other stands, brushing the leaf detritus off his body and takes the cape from where it was discarded on the forest floor. Instead of leaves, it was now the pine needles of the evergreen trees. The crown is moonlight and Holly, placed upon his brow.

He stands, resplendent in the moonlight, and sends one more gentle look at the spot where the Summer King had faded away before he crows his triumph to the sky and calls his Winter Court.

It was the start of his short life and by god, would he live it to the fullest.

Like the Summer King had bid.

[deans-baby-momma]

The Padackles Link-Chapter 57

“I don’t know Gen,” I say as soon as I get situated on the massage table, answering her earlier question about Jensen and myself. “Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate his efforts but..”

“Are you 100% sure that Jay was bothered because Dani is moving on? Has he told you that was the reason he was so upset and distant after JJ’s party? Because I have known that man for a long time, and I don’t think that’s the whole story.” 

She pauses and I consider her words for a moment before she speaks up again.

“Listen, let Jared and I keep Jackson tonight. You and Jay take this as an opportunity to get it all out. Tell him how you feel, what you are thinking and let him tell you his side of the story. He might just surprise you. But I promise you this. If Jensen is still pining for her, I will help you however you want. Need a place to stay? I got you. Want to disappear for a few days? We can go visit my parents.”

“Gen no!” It’s my turn to interrupt her. “I can’t just show up with you at your parents’ home. You don’t get as much time to visit with them as it is. They don’t need a depressed freeloader mooching on their time with their oldest daughter.” I cannot expect her to do that. I can’t expect people who are practically strangers to welcome me into their home while I’m so afflicted and my life is once again turning to shambles.

“Bullshit!” Gen exclaims. I can tell by the shift in her voice that she had lifted her head from the table so I do that same, mirroring her posture. Both of us are only covered by a thin white sheet but we lay there with our upper bodies propped up by our forearms and stare at one another.

“They love you Drea. You are like another daughter to them and they love little man as if he were their own grandson. Hell, they’ll be more than happy to spoil Jackson as much as they have Tom and Shep. Believe me! Everytime I talk to them, they always ask about you guys. They’ll want to help, trust me. And we don’t have to tell them what is going on. Just that you wanted to get away from the hustle and bustle of life. Their ranch is secluded so they will more than understand.” She shrugs as she re-situates on the table. “Besides, it’s just an option. It might not even come to that. You go listen to Jay’s side of the story and then we’ll go from there, Okay?”

“Yea okay,” I concede. “We’ll see.”

I lay back down and get prepared to enjoy the body massage Jensen had so graciously gifted me but I know in my heart that hearing, that seeing Dani with a new man was agonizing to him was going to be torture. 

BACK AT THE ACKLES/MURPHY RESIDENCE

Jensen uses the free time he has while Jackson naps to put together the next phase of his plan. While Drea and Gen are being pampered, he cleans the house, finished the laundry and marinades some chicken to grill later.

After placing the bowl of food into the refrigerator, Jensen grabs his phone and opens a music app to create the perfect playlist. It doesn’t take him long to combine the songs that undeniably depicts his affection for the mother of his son. He smiles as he sits the phone down and takes a look at his surroundings. 

The house looks like a home. He knows Drea worked endlessly, turning this place into something they can both be proud to call theirs. As he waits for Jackson to wake from his nap, he takes a stroll through the main rooms of the dwelling. 

The living room, with its floor to ceiling windows is cozy even with so much natural light flowing in.The creamy beige walls complement the dark paneled ceiling and beams; the white trim was flawlessly matched to the furniture Drea had chosen. As he walks by the sofa, he runs his forefinger along the back of the chaise. The crushed velvet fabric feels so soft and elegant under his touch. The mahogany wood of the coffee table, end tables and armoire are evenly reflected in the area rug, pulling all the pieces together to create a calm and peaceful area to lounge in or to entertain guests.

Turning back toward the kitchen, Jensen takes notice of how even that room, with all its bulky appliances and countertop gadgets was welcoming. The marble-topped island gleams under the bright overhead lights. It was the piece de resistance of the room. The stainless steel of the appliances brought out the silver veins that ran through the white marble, creating a softening effect. The hickory cabinetry played off the hue of the oak floor. 

He chuckles as he remembers the way Drea had gazed dreamily at the size of the room. She went on and on about how it was better than she could have imagined and that she had never had anything that nice, growing up or while she had been married to Chad. 

FLASHBACK

“Jay, it’s perfect! It’s more than perfect! It’s elegant yet functional. I can see us hosting parties and holidays with plenty of room for everyone to congregate and mingle. And that den! Jay, did you see that den?! The windows and doors were huge! And the recessed ceilings with the beams? Oh my god, I want this house. Do you think we can afford it?”

END FLASHBACK

Jensen grins as he remembers the day he signed the final papers, making the house legally theirs. He couldn’t wait to get home and surprise Drea. He hears the tell-tale signs that Jackson is waking from his nap so he meanders toward the nursery. It was almost time for Jared to be dropping by with his two boys. The Padalecki and Ackles men were going to the park.

Returning home, I quickly realize that Jensen isn’t there. I knew he had made plans with Jared to take the kids to the park. Even though our son was too young to yet enjoy the outing, knowing Jared’s method of watching kids, Tom and Shep were probably running rampant on the play area. The big guy loved to feed his kids sweets and then laugh at them as they ran amok. It was one of Genevieve’s biggest grievances. 

Since I am now home alone, no baby to take care off, I decide to enjoy a glass of wine. The day of indulgence at the spa had been relaxing and refreshing but the conversation with Gen had not. It brought up more questions than answers.

Was living with Jensen under the same roof a good thing? Was there so much tension in the air that it was going to have a negative effect on Jackson? Should I try and take our son and move out, taking him away from his father? Would that really be beneficial?

There is no doubt in my mind that Jensen doesn’t completely adore his son and he would in no way do anything detrimental to his child. But with things so bitter between us, were we just causing a hostile environment to raise a kid?

As I sip on the burgundy liquid, I resolutely came to a conclusion.

AT THE PARK

“Jare, man. I swear I don’t know what else to do,” Jensen voices as he holds his son while the Padalecki boys frolic around the toddler equipment at the playground.

“Have you tried explaining it to her?” Jared inquires, quickly reprimanding his oldest son. “Thomas, don’t climb on that!” 

“Dude, I have tried so many times but she just cuts me off, changes the subject,” Jensen declares, bouncing Jackson when he begins to whimper. “It’s like she is so sure she is right that she doesn’t want to hear any different.”

“Cognitive dissonance,” Jared states with a nod of his head. “I kinda get that. She has forced herself into believing  that you are going to ‘come to your senses and leave her’ that she refuses to consider anything to the contrary.”

“But I love her. Man, I love her so much. Why does she assume I’m going to leave?”

“Think about it Jay. The two most important people in her life, her mom and her husband, left her. Albeit, not willingly but a person’s mind can play some cruel tricks. She loved her mom tremendously and she got sick and died. Then she found Chad and fell deeply in love with him and was happy and then boom, he was gone. Plus, you guys lost a son. I know she loved Jacob dearly. Just another person that she cared for and is no longer here,” Jared ascertains. He chuckles and glances at his best friend before speaking up, keeping an eye on his own kids. “Hell, if I didn’t know better, I’d think she has Sam Winchester syndrome.”

Jensen rolls his eyes but smiles, lifting a sleepy Jackson onto his shoulder. “God help me then.”

THAT EVENING

After our girls day, Gen came back to the house and picked Jackson up along with his diaper bag and an overnight bag. “Talk. To. Him,” she had ordered me before walking out of the house and to her car. I turned around and headed to the bathroom. I want to shower and be relaxed when Jensen and I have that conversation.

Coming out of the bedroom, I smell the enticing aroma of Jensen’s  Italian chicken so I head to the kitchen to see if I can assist. 

I stand in the doorway between the hall and the kitchen and just watch him. He was so into preparing the food that he hadn’t noticed me yet. It gave me time to appreciate the man in front of me. Jensen was a very good-looking man with his symmetrical features. He was tall and lean but also had a bit of muscle to him, partially from years of doing some of his own stunt work and working out. His golden brown hair was styled in its usual fashion and I could hear faint humming along with the music on his phone coming from his plump pink lips. As I continued to watch him preparing dinner, I couldn’t help but feel my heart swell. I love him so much; that’s why it hurt so bad to know that he was still hung up on Dani. 

When he turns to grab a plate, Jensen finally notices me and smiles. The delighted expression reaches his green eyes easily. 

“Hey. I was just making you a plate. Want to join me in the dining nook?”

“Sure,” I reply as I head to the refrigerator. “Want a beer or water?”

“Nun uh. You go sit. I’m catering to you tonight.”

With a nod of my head, I turn and approach the table in the nook. There are two long-stemmed candlesticks in the middle and two empty wineglasses, along with a vase of flowers.. Along the windowsill are five tealights, their flames flickering giving off a charming ambience. Jensen had really outdone himself.

“You’ve just thought of everything haven’t you?” I ask with a smirk as I sit and watch him carry two plates and a bottle of wine over.

“Yep.”

After the plates are cleared, Jensen and I sit at the table and just enjoy each other’s company. For the first time in a while, I feel at ease and comfortable with him again. I go to speak when he beats me to it.

“Drea, can we talk? About what’s going on?”

I remember my promise to Gen, that I would listen to whatever he has to tell me, and nod my head. Picking up my wine glass, I take a sip.

“Can I ask you why you think that I’m still in love with Dani?”

“Because I know you are,” I whisper. “Actions speak louder than words. You were so upset that she had moved on that you got drunk, yelled at me and then took off.”

“Baby,” Jensen sighs. “You have it so totally wrong. I didn’t get upset that she was moving on. I’m happy for her. I hope she can find someone to love her as much as I love you. No, it was the WHO she was moving on with.”

“Josh?” I ask, confused. “Why?”

“Because,” Jensen sighs and reaches for my hand. “It’s simple really. He hurt you and she turns around and begins dating him just to throw it in your face.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Oh, how twisted things had become. Jensen had a look of confusion on his face as I continue. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Jay, he didn’t hurt me,” I begin explaining. “Yes, we dated. Mostly to help out Dani but I continued seeing him after we got those results. But honey, I didn’t love him. I wasn’t in love with him. I just….it felt good to have someone to go out with, have a good time. Baby, it doesn’t bother me a bit that Dani is dating Josh. Hell, he is a great guy. And he’s good with kids so we don’t have to worry about JJ. I’m happy for them.”

“What?” Jensen asked, incredulous. “I mean, I know you said when you broke up it was because you didn’t return his feelings, but are you saying-”

“I’m saying, I never loved Josh. Not the least little bit. He was a good friend, that was it.”

“But you two seemed to get along so well. I just knew you two were headed somewhere.”

“Nah, never saw him that way,” I answered, with a shrug of my shoulders. “Like I said, it was someone to go out with. He isn’t my type.”

Jensen quickly gets up and heads to the kitchen, picking his phone up and turning up the volume. Once the guitar begins to play, I recognize the song and feel tears well up into my eyes. Jensen approaches me and holds out his hand for me to take. 

As soon as I am standing he pulls me into his embrace and we begin swaying, him whisper-singing the song in my ear. 

I guess the time was right for us to say 

We'd take our time and live our lives

Together day by day

We'll make a wish and send it on a prayer

We know our dreams will all come true

With love that we can share

With you I never wonder - will you be there for me?

With you I never wonder - you're the right one for me?

I finally found the love of a lifetime

A love to last my whole life through

I finally found the love of a lifetime

Forever in my heart

I finally found the love of a lifetime

With every kiss, our love is like brand-new

And every star up in the sky

Was made for me and you

Still we both know that the road is long

We know that we will be together

Because our love is strong

I finally found the love of a lifetime

A love to last my whole life through

I finally found the love of a lifetime

Forever in my heart

I finally found the love of a lifetime

Ooh, I finally found the love of a lifetime

A love to last my whole life through, ooh

I finally found the love of a lifetime

Forever in my heart

I finally found the love of a lifetime (I finally found the love of a lifetime)

Love of a lifetime (I finally found the love of a lifetime)

I finally found the love (I finally found the love of a lifetime)

Ooh, forever in my heart

I finally found the love of a lifetime, ooh.

“Drea, I love you so much. I was trying to honor you by being pissed that my ex was dating your ex and in the midst of that I almost lost you. You are my love of a lifetime and I don’t ever want to lose you.” 

I look up into his jade green eyes to see them wet and almost overflowing. I smile as I tiptoe and whisper in his ear. “Jensen Ackles, I love you too. Make love to me.”

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[yukiwrites]

Many of Their Kind

Thank you for the support as always, @xpegasusuniverse! This is such an interesting topic, I got a bit carried away, heehee!

Summary: Seteth and Flayn were summoned to Askr after hearing all about it from Byleth. The older brother, overprotective as ever, would only allow his little sister to remain there once he was absolutely sure it would be safe, though Flayn couldn’t be happier to be able to meet new people, especially those with whom she and Seteth shared an unexpected bond with, the manaketes.

Commission info HERE and HERE!

______________________________

New Heroes from other worlds arrived practically daily on Askr, especially after the Summoner's Breidablik was magically enhanced during the recent skirmishes.

They amounted to the point that Kiran himself was unable to welcome and indulge them all until they were used to their day-to-day at the Order of Heroes, so the other people in charge also took it upon themselves to help the Heroes accommodate themselves as quickly as possible.

Anna, Sharena and Alfonse shared those duties mostly equally; the Crown Prince had his own royal duties to attend to, so he was more often than not too busy to help. Though since that was expected, Sharena and Anna didn't seem to mind the added task on their shoulders.

That particular morning, it was Anna's turn to walk the new heroes through the castle, though the newly arrived pair seemed to have other ideas in mind. 

Seteth and Flayn was how they had presented themselves, though Anna could swear she had seen their picture in the book depicting Fódlan's history under other aliases entirely.

The young woman looked around eagerly, ooh-ing and aaah-ing at every detail. "Look, Brother!" She nudged the tall man, pointing at this or that vase or decoration. "Even the architecture itself differs on its fundamentals! Everything here is so interesting!"

"Indeed." The green-haired man replied curtly, though warmly enough not to dismiss the girl's enthusiasm. "However, try not to attract much attention, Flayn, for we are still unaware of our role here as... 'Heroes'." He said the last word with contempt, though Anna could discern a large amount of worry in his tone, rather than disdain.

"Annnd here we have the, well, let's call it 'Administration Wing', for now. I don't think we ever gave it a name apart from 'Western Wing' now that I think about it." Anna concluded the hurried tour, simply going through the motions of doing so as her brain searched for the piece of information regarding those two that she was forgetting. "You seem to have more than a few questions, so I'll welcome you to my office so we can talk more leisurely."

"That would be ideal, Commander. I thank you." Seteth bobbed his head to the sides in compliance, nudging Flayn along the corridor towards Anna's study.

Once there, the man barely waited for Anna to take her seat behind the desk to ask. "I have heard from Professor Byleth that this world is very peculiar in its deepest roots."

"Yes?" Anna tilted her head in question.

"To speak bluntly, I have heard that a few of whom we've considered enemies in Fódlan are here as allies, instead. Namely, the," he glanced at Flayn with a painful expression, "Death Knight."

The young woman looked down in visible distress, digging her nails on her skirt. "You see, Commander, that man has attacked me on occasion and ever since then I- I have been terrified of him."

"It is as my sister says. How can I trust the integrity of an Order, otherworldly as it may be, that employs villains within their ranks? How do you maintain order within your own organization by having mutual enemies fighting on the same side of the battlefield?"

Anna took one index to her lips, looking up in thought. "That is a valid concern, good people," she said matter-of-factly, somehow seeming to remember something and jumping out of her seat to browser the bookshelf to her left. "However, unfounded. Every Hero summoned by Kiran's -- ah, he's our Summoner, I believe you met him immediately after crossing the portal to our world -- weapon is bound by the Pact of Non-aggression." She picked two or three volumes from the shelves, placing them on her desk as she sat back on her chair.

Flayn and Seteth exchanged curious glances, choosing to remain in silence to allow Anna to continue.

The Commander opened the first volume, its cover decorated in a pale silver. "You see, it's physically impossible for a Hero to harm another one within Askrian grounds. Well, even outside our borders -- as long as they were summoned by Breidablik, they're bound to this. We employ many, ah, unique characters from opposing sides of the same war, so we have heard no small amount of complaints on this matter. Yet, there has never been a case of a fight breaking out since their own bodies are subjugated by the Pact." She looked through a sentence or another, muttering a few ah-s of understanding. "There is also a potent, ancient magic protecting each and every one of you -- as long as you are under our command, you are under no peril of death."

"I would ask you to explain this further, Commander. How can one avoid death just by being in an unfamiliar world?"

Anna looked from the book to the duo, her mind finally clear on her suspicious. "You and your, ah... sister," she took a dignified pause to assert the two of them that she not only was aware of their most guarded secret but that she was willing to keep it so, "as any other Hero summoned to this world, are, let's say, a 'borrowed' power from your original world. We pluck you out of there to fight for us here, but this does not change at all your role nor your history back whence you came. For that to happen, the magic here protects you on an intimate level -- although you can be injured and forced to retreat the battlefield, no wounds you retain will be fatal. After all, your life -- or death -- only concerns your original world."

Seteth took one hand to his chin in thought as Flayn looked down at her own hands, pensive. "Most interesting," the man muttered, his interest piqued. "I would rather avoid sending my sister to battle altogether; she is a healer first and foremost, you see. Since you've just told us that the wounds aren't fatal..."

"Well, having field healers certainly helps with the progression of battle." Anna interrupted, knowing where Seteth wanted to take the conversation to. "But, of course, it'll ultimately depend on you whether you choose to fight for us or not. Kiran's weapon also has the power to server the, ah, 'heroic' bonds binding you to Askr -- meaning he can send you back home with a snap of his fingers, anytime you want."

Narrowing his eyes, the man took a moment to think, then sighed. "I see."

Feeling increasingly antsy, Flayn looked from Seteth to Anna. "Um, you are not planning to have Lord Kiran send me back on my own, are you, Brother? I will have no such thing, I say!"

"Flayn-"

"We are finally in a place where we can be ourselves, under no peril to our lives! And it is such a wonderful place! Have you not heard the curious songs of the birds or the different color of the sky once we crossed over? I simply must explore it all for myself! I am most too weary of being alone for so long, Brother! I beg you to say such thought of returning me alone has not crossed your mind!"

Seteth looked down in visible distress. "I would, dear Flayn, but it'd be a lie. I just worry for you so-"

"Well, worry no more, for our dear Commander Anna cleared all and any doubts you had regarding this world! Has she not?" Flayn got up with a bounce, her curls dancing over her shoulders. "It is time for us to make ourselves acquainted with the askrian ways of life, for as long as we are needed here." She curtsied elegantly to Anna before turning her back to the Commander, heading to the door. "I thank you for your time, Commander, however we must take our leave."

"Flayn!" Seteth scrambled on his feet, barely bowing to Anna before running after his sister. "Do not walk away like this, young lady! What poor manners!" He scolded as they walked through the door, leaving Anna to her books.

"There's still so much to happen with these two," she absent-mindedly caressed the silver book she had just read. "I hope their time here can help them enrich themselves for what's to come."

"Ah, the very air in here feels different in my lungs!" Flayn twirled around herself as she headed towards the garden, lured by the clear atmosphere. "Do you not feel it so, Brother?"

Panting, Seteth sighed loudly. "Flayn, just because this world might be safer than where we came from, it does not mean you can frolic around on your own! I beg you to always be with me whenever you want to take a walk... I fear for you, even if you are protected by this ancient magic of this place's."

Feeling rather bad for running like that, Flayn looked down, sheepish. "Forgive me, Brother. I know all you care about it my safety, but I assure you that I am more than capable of taking care of myself, especially in this unfamiliar world."

"It's precisely because this is an unfamiliar world that I worry even more-"

"Oh!" A surprised gasp came from beside them, right a bit ahead into the garden. "Are you two new Heroes? It's not always that we welcome more dragons into the fray!"

Flayn widened her eyes so much she felt they were bulging out. "D-dragons? W-whyever would you assume that about us, dear stranger?" She tried her best to act meek, stepping just a bit behind Seteth's shoulder.

The owner of the voice, a silver-haired, pointy-eared woman tilted her head in confusion. "Huh? Did I get it wrong? I can clearly feel it..."

Way more used to keeping his poker face, Seteth simply cleared his throat. "I'm afraid we haven't met yet, Lady...?"

"Ah, how boorish of me! I'm Corrin, nice to meet you!" She curtsied with the grace of a noble, despite wearing a strange-looking armor. "I can turn into a dragon, so that's why I assumed you two were the same. Something about your vibes..."

Flayn stared at Corrin's exposed ears, somehow wanting to do the same with her own. It's been so long since she felt the wind without fearing her hair going up! "I am Flayn, dear Corrin. Nice to meet you."

"Seteth. It's my pleasure."

Corrin smiled gleefully. "Can I ask where are you guys from? Ever since coming here, I've found so many shape-shifters from all over! I always thought I was alone in this, but finding other people that share this burden has made it lighter, somehow."

"Burden?" Flayn asked innocently, exchanging glances with Seteth.

"Oh, look at me babble! Sorry about that." She looked down in distress for half a second before shaking her head to do away with any negative thoughts. "I still have much to learn from those manaketes -- ah, that's how some of the other dragon shape-shifters call themselves in their worlds -- so it's no wonder I got you guys mixed up with actual shape-shifters."

"There are more? More people who can turn to beasts- to dragons? In this world and in many others?" Flayn stepped away from Seteth's protection, taking Corrin's hand in unabashed excitement.

"Why, yes! Do you want to meet them? They were going to teach me lots of stuff today just at that gazebo over there, in the middle of the garden."

"Oh, I would dearly love to meet them! They can impart much knowledge, can they not? I am eager to learn more and more!"

"Yes!" Corrin squeezed Flayn's hand, matching her excitement down to her giddy steps. "They as wise as they are old -- some of them are over 3,000 years old!"

"Three thous-" Seteth choked. Could these creatures be the exact same as the ones back in their own world? How did they manage to retain their draconic forms for so long? How fundamentally different were they from the children of the goddess, if there were any changes at all?

Even Seteth was getting excited about it, if he could be honest.

Once they arrived, however, Seteth couldn't help but scowl so deeply he even let out a 'that's it?' under his breath.

The 'ancient beings' waiting for them looked no older than children -- though their ears were immensely longer than Corrin's.

"I'm here, Nowi! Tiki and Fae, too! Good afternoon!" Corrin giggled as she pulled Flayn to the middle of the girls, who all welcomed them with excited bounces and hugs.

"You brought us another dragon friend!!" Nowi jumped in Flayn's arms, digging her face into the taller girl's chest. "This world is THE BEST, did you know? I struggled so much to find dragon friends back in Ylisse, but I just instantly found so many friends the moment I was summoned! IT'S THE BEST!" She giggled happily, twirling Flayn about.

"Well, you met me, though! The not-me, me." A young, green-haired girl -- Tiki -- smiled, also diving into the hug.

"Uh-huh, but that was wayyyy later. I was lonely for a long time, you know! A thousand years!"

Flayn gasped. "So it is true that you are all ancient beings-"

"I'm five!" Fae got on her tiptoes to pull Flayn's skirt. "Five hundred!"

"My, and your youth hasn't changed at all!" Flayn patted the little girl's head, truly already at home amidst these strangers -- they shared something akin to a bond that no one else but themselves had: the blood of immortals and their burdens.

“It warms the heart to see the young ones chatting so happily, doesn’t it?” Bantu said as though he had simply materialized beside Seteth.

“Gah-” The green-haired man flinched. “Since when-”

“Ohoho, I’ve been here the whole time, my lad.” Bantu smiled. “Let us have a seat, shall we? It fits us old men better to simply watch over the younger generation as they bloom on their own, don’t you agree?”

Seteth glanced at Flayn’s genuine smile, one he hadn’t seen in many an age. He allowed himself to smile as well, shaking his head slightly. “You are right. Let us converse over there, friendly stranger. I also have much to ask regarding your- no, our kind.”

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Awake (Captain America AU)

Summary: Grayson wakes up from the ice only to find his world has changed significantly. Love is the last thing on his mind, but once he meets the agent assigned to him all of that changes.

Warnings: violence, fluff

Word count: ~ 1600

When Grayson went into the ice, the world was very different than what he knows it to be today. It used to be about family and principles, the right thing to do and now...there's a thing called hookup culture where he doesn't fit in with that romantic heart of his, the internet which is very useful but very complicated and confusing and people who use ships in terms of relationships and not transportation.

A very different world indeed.

However, some things remained the same. Men fighting wars over things that don't matter at all, people dying because they look different or love differently than some consider norm, and beautiful women he still can't seem to win over because he turns into a blabbermouth a second into the conversation.

It's what his best friend, his brother, Ethan used to make fun of him for. He knew Ethan would have a field day with the way he was rejected by his nurse before he could even ask her out due to him being too old for her....too old? He might be nearing his nineties according to the calendar, but he's far from old. He's still in his early twenties and very much in shape, still perfectly toned from his serum and then some.

"What did that punching bag do to you?" He stopped the punches, grabbing the bag with both hands, feeling the sweat roll down his entire body and his heavy breathing come in short puffs.

He completely lost himself in his mind, losing focus on the real world. He didn't even feel himself punching the bag or the soreness of his muscles and definitely missed the moment she walked in.

Y/N is a very skilled individual, she made sure he knew it the very day they met when she took him down in less than five seconds. Needless to say, Grayson was shocked. In all his time as Captain America, he never once lost a fight so fast and never to a girl.

She's also the agent SHIELD assigned to keep an eye on him and bring him in if he creates trouble.

Usually, Grayson would laugh at that notion, but he knew she could. No doubt about it.

And he absolutely loved that about her.

"Kissed my girl in high school." He pants out, turning around with a crooked smile reserved only for her.

Y/N is also the only girl who never made fun of his lame attempts to flirt, but she also never responded to them the way he hoped her to.

"Ooh, capital offense. Should I eliminate the target, Captain?" Y/N makeshifts a gun with her hands pressed together and the pointers targeted at the bag over his left shoulder.

"Stand down, agent." Grayson says, chuckling at her. He places his bandaged hands on his hips, blowing out some air down his chest to stop the oncoming river of sweat.

"Yes, sir." She quickly salutes him, her technique rusty and not at all proper, but appreciated.

"What brings you here, agent? I told Fury I'm done with fighting." Grayson states, starting to pull at his bandages to take them off. He keeps his eyes on the alluring woman before him, unable to deprive himself of such a breathtaking view. He's been stuck in the ice for seventy years and the last woman he cared about never got to know just how badly he wished there was another way.

He promised himself he won't make the same mistakes, but he's already running down a path of regret with Y/N. But if he were to spend more time with her, he'd have to return to his olden ways and face the blood on his hands.

Some day that didn’t seem like such a bad trade, others - it was unimaginable.

"You told Fury that, but not me. I am here to convince you, so what's it going to take?" She folds her arms over her chest and quirks an eyebrow, leaning on a column with her right shoulder.

"What's the mission about?" Grayson grabs a towel, wiping the sweat off his forehead and down to his neck as she tries to hide the lust his moves evoke. She'd love nothing more than to wrap her arms around his sweaty self and claims his lips as hers. She always found him to be devilishly handsome, but his disheveled sweaty look made it that much harder to keep her hands to herself.

"Saving a bunch of hostages and a couple of our own...I know the agents and they have families waiting for their safe return." Grayson noticed the subtle crease between her eyebrows and the almost quiver her lips made once they parted for a heavy sigh. This truly meant something to her.

"Personal experience?" He speaks his mind inadvertently, mentally face palming once she nods.

"Five years ago I had a husband and they killed him in cold blood two days after we got married. These are the same people and I'm going in there, with or without back up." She made it very clear and Grayson knew he wanted to help her. It wasn't so he could get a date nor to have her affection for him grow...he just wanted her to smile again for the lack of her smile felt colder than the ice he slept in.

He thought her to be glass, but glass is only brittle until it breaks. Once that happens, it becomes sharp and she's most definitely ready to cut and bleed.

"I'm in." And he kept his promise, picking up his shield once more and fighting the bad guys by her side.

He had trouble not staring at her as she tore her way through their enemies, all but tearing them to shreds. She's deadly as larkspur and just as beautiful.

"You think you're so special." One of the men coughed, blood spluttering from his mouth.

"So what makes you so special?" Y/N quirked her eyebrow at Grayson, taking a glass in her hand as she leaned on the wall calmly to catch her breath. She smiled, swirling the whiskey in her glass before downing it in one sip.

Grayson shrugs, shaking his head slightly with a faint, uneven smile on his lips as he admires the girl before him. She's unlike anyone he's ever met - in this life and the life he left behind after waking up from the icy death he was meant to find his end in.

"Nothing. I'm just a kid from New Jersey." His reply is simple and humble as he was brought up to be, but Y/N giggles, slamming the glass on the counter and throwing a shard at the man's throat. It hit the mark in seconds, drawing out the man's misery.

"Well, I am special. I'm special because I get to watch the life drain from your eyes and still have time to make a date with the handsome fella behind me."

Grayson shuddered in a mix of fear and admiration, but the words just now resonated with him. Even with all he knows about her, her obviously cruel tactics to take lives, but effective way of fighting, he still wants her - longs for her even.

"How about a dinner this Friday?" She smirks, glancing over her shoulder.

"You pick me up on that motorcycle of yours and take me dancing afterwards?" She adds, sweetening the pot.

"I, uh, can't dance." Grayson clears his throat awkwardly, realizing Margaret..Peggy never taught him as he never made it to their date.

"Neither can I, but we'll learn together." And with that, she pulled out the shard of glass and let the man bleed out, ending their mission.

"So, does this make you want to join the team? Saving people is hell of a lot better than wasting away in some old, dusty gym." She throws the glass to the floor, shattering it in the process.

Grayson swallows thickly, cocking his head to the side.

"Does it earn me a kiss from a beautiful gal as yourself?" He almost gasped at his own bravery in his advances, but he contained himself. He had to be confident to keep up with her.

She giggles, sauntering toward him. Placing her palms on his shoulders delicately, she leans in at a whisper distance from his lips. Even the smallest of moves would connect their lips and Grayson found it hard to catch a breath as her intoxicating perfume invaded his system.

This is far from what he’s used to considering this would have worked only on loose ladies in the past. It used to be all about words and charm, big romantic gestures, but he’s learning to accept his time had passed and a new age has long risen and he needs to adapt or wither.

She moves by his lips and to his left ear, reaching on her tiptoes.

"Not without a dinner. What do you take me for? A frolic?" She teased, enjoying seeing Captain America flustered.

"C'mon loverboy, time to go." She laced their fingers, clasping their hands together before tugging him after her.

She's going to be a lot of work, but worth it, he thinks.

If there's a reason to fight in this world, it is her, he's certain.

Maybe he can't live without war, but life with regret is far worse. So, in hope of changing his path, Grayson picks up his shield once more and the heavy burden that comes with it, willing to do whatever is necessary.

He's been out of the ice for month, but this is the first time he's ever truly felt warm and comfortable in his own skin in this day and age. And it's all thanks to her.

Tags: @xalayx @fallinginlove-16 @heyits-claire @accalialionheart

[webcricket]

Remember Rio; or, What is Love

Characters: CastielXReader ft. Dean Winchester

Word Count: 1984

Summary: Castiel has some hesitations early on in your relationship. Thankfully Dean is there to kick him in the ass. One confused celestial, non-explicit talk about sex, cowboys, and kisses.

Dean hoists a dry-rot ridden wooden box to waist-level and hurls it unceremoniously at the floor. The container collapses in on itself upon impact, contents skittering amok in a cloudburst of dust.

Several of the larger knickknacks cease their tumble at Castiel’s feet. He doesn’t bother to look down, too absorbed in inner turmoil of thought to pay any heed to them or Dean’s growing frustration.

The hunter isn’t annoyed about the frantic search through someone else’s collection of crap, it’s in the job description. What he is annoyed about is the angel’s brooding. And Cas happens to still be standing in the exact same spot he dallied in the last time Dean turned around from his present task of tossing a storage shelf in this dimly lit basement in search of some a cursed trinket Sam said they absolutely positively needed to destroy to save the world. Dean has as yet unspoken reservations about the merit’s of his brother’s claim and the moping celestial both. He picks up a delicate vase next – an intricate pattern of pink flowers and thin bright green vines laces the rim – and intentionally drops it arching a speculative brow when the angel doesn’t so much as flinch at the tinkle of shattering porcelain.

Boiling impatience pries apart the bite of the hunter’s tongue. “What the hell, man?” he grumbles. “Are you planning to just stand there all night or are you gonna help me find this damn totem?”

Cas blinks, blues resolving into focus on his friend. “Sorry, I was thinking about the other night.” The other night in question being the night of your third official date with the angel and the very same night you jumped his celestially articulated bones only to have him proceed to politely excuse himself mid-makeout session just when things got heated enough to warrant the peeling off of clothing, leaving you winded, wanton, and clutching his trench coat.

“Come on, you’ve been thinking for three days about something that requires zero thought and all the action.” Dean quells a reflexive roll of his greens, stepping over the glittering shards to clasp him roughly by the shoulder. “What are you so worried about anyway? You’ve done the deed before. With that reaper-” Dean scratches at his chin. “Amy, no-”

The angel respires a beleaguered sigh as Dean runs through a list of potential names. Cas has been trying to winnow down the reasons why he fled for days. It’s not because he’s a fully-functional powered-up angel of the Lord again and all the supposed sexlessness that formality entails. He’s equipped to satisfy a partner in every way a human can, and divinely more. He’s definitely physically attracted to you, so his vessel becoming aroused isn’t a barrier. He wants to please you any way he can, and he understands it’s clear you want to take the relationship to the next step in pursuit of that pleasure. No matter how much he thinks about it, he can’t quite pinpoint the source of his hesitation.

“April!” Dean hits on the correct name with an enthusiastic note.

Cas glares – April not being an entirely pleasant memory considering she killed him.

“What?” Dean shrugs, expression wholly unapologetic in amusement. “For Chuck’s sake, what’s there to think about? It’s not a freaking apocalypse. No one’s life is in danger. It’s just sex.”

“It’s different.” Cas’ jaw tenses around the words. “With April, it was just sex. With Y/N, it’s … different.” He repeats himself for lack of a better descriptor.

“Different how?” Dean squints, closely examining the angel’s stymied expression. He interprets therein the folds of his brow a light bulb revelation. “Well smack my ass and call me Sally, you’re in love!” Dean exclaims, overly triumphant in the revelation.

Cas’ gaze startles wide, creating a mountain-like crag of creases across the ridge of his forehead, then narrows precipitously into the softer ill-defined flatland of genuine bewilderment. The part about loving you is the least confusing aspect of the statement and he accepts it without qualm – with a passive wave of relief even in response to the exact sort of different he could not explain a mere moment before – the reason for the rest of the hands-on proposition to slap Dean’s derrière whilst referring to him as Sally is beyond angelic comprehension. “Why would I-”

“Shut up.” Dean interjects, holding up a quieting finger, halting the inevitable query of why Dean would require Cas to do any of the aforementioned buttock spanking and name-calling and whether this is the appropriate time or place for such an activity.

You choose that instant to mosey on into the dank cellar scene. Cas and Dean bickering like an old married couple about what you assume to be utter nonsense is nothing new; you’d be worried if they weren’t verbally sparring, static silence on either of their parts rarely bodes well. “Whatcha guys talkin’ ‘bout?” you ask with vague disinterest, surveying the mess for any sign of the totem.

Cas casts Dean a swimmingly deep blue puppy-eyed plea to say nothing.

Dean ignores the appeal. The hunter’s eyes twinkle more than they have right to in the poorly illumined basement; a confident smirk creeps across his face. Bulky biceps tighten the fabric of his grey Henley shirt as he crosses his arms in preparation for the unsolicited relational pot stirring in which he is about to partake. “Sex,” he states, louder than necessary; the sharpness of the single syllable slices the humidly heavy atmosphere; the thick foundation of the walls absorbs any attempted reverberation.

“Nothing,” Cas’ simultaneous utterance muddles Dean’s answer; the decibel of his voice sinks to an Earth-quaking grumble. Blues taking on a chagrinned shade, he shoots his friend a betrayed glower.

Re-crossing his limbs, Dean scowls in recrimination. “Really? You were feeling different about it minute ago. And now … nothing?”

Your mouth gapes into the shape of an unspoken oh. This, this could explain why Cas bolted the other night and hasn’t been able to look you in the eyes since let alone stay in the same room alone with you for more than an awkward minute. You always had your suspicions about their so-called profound bond and standing on the outside looking in it appears you’ve interrupted the discussion of a secretive tryst half of the liaison isn’t ready to openly chat about. “Maybe I should leave you two alone then,” you mutter, failing to disguise the disillusionment lowering your tone.

“You should really stay for this, sweetheart,” Dean reassures, reaching out to catch you by the wrist before you can turn to leave. “It involves you.”

You glance from his gleaming greens to his clutching fingers to Cas’ averted blues and back. You snort a light laugh, one imbed with false lightness of spirit in affront to the crush of disappointment you feel, and swat Dean’s gentle grip loose. You pursue the path of lashing out in lieu of letting either of them see your pain. “Look Dean-o, I don’t care what you think I said when we split that bottle of tequila last summer in Rio and passed out drunk on the balcony, I’m not interested in a cowboy themed threesome with you, or anyone else for that matter.” You direct the last bit at the angel who seems set on stolidly avoiding the interaction in favor of staring at the dusty-beamed ceiling.

Dean’s mouth mutely opens and closes in a vain attempt to formulate a rebuff; his cheeks warm to a freckled tint of pink. He doesn’t remember sharing that particular frolic of a fantasy with you, but also acknowledges with a bob of his head and a swallowed hmm that it sounds like something he could’ve admitted to in uninhibited drunken fervor. Because his best coping skill for embarrassment involves embracing the injurious fact with bombastic confidence, he accepts your personally revealing slight in Dean-branded stride. “First off little lady, you have no idea what you’re missing out on. And secondly,” he begins to recall several small snippets of detail, “it wasn’t tequila, it was RumChata.”

Your eyebrows lift. “That’s your take away from that night?”

“Yes. That, and your apparent fetish for ass-less chaps.”

It’s your fault for daring him to remember to stage his self-defense. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“Happy to oblige.” Dean takes a swaggering stride backward and bows. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” His pointed glare toward Cas effectively wields the departing verb as a strong suggestion and prompts you to recall the angel of your affection has been standing there wordlessly observing the entire exchange.

Conversationally contagious blush accosting your cheeks now, you cede to a compulsion to fill the weighty silence between you and the seraph with a throaty hum that never quite evolves into intelligible speech.

“I’m sorry.” Cas speaks first.

You peer up from studying your shoes, shod toes poking the sole of the foot opposite, to take in his fondly tempered features. The intensity of tenderness conveyed in his steady regard somersaults your stomach and frees a flock of butterflies whose fluttering wings unfold inside out to caress your skin with a pleasant shiver; these three days past you missed this sensation only he causes and which you hope never to grow accustomed to.

Given he failed to comprehend the bulk of the interaction he just witnessed, he steps nearer and clarifies for both your sakes the part for which he is apologetic. “Sorry about leaving so suddenly the other night when there was, uh, an expectation of” –his hands seek refuge in his pockets “-um, intimacy.”

“Oh, Cas” –you dive into the hooks of his arms, wrapping the rigid pillar of his vessel in a hug while keeping a carefully calculated platonic distance of a little over an inch between the press of your bodies “-there’s no expectation. No pressure. I just thought, I mean, you seemed into it so I-”

Fingers circling your shoulders, he dips you backward in order to meet your gaze as he speaks, “I was – am – ‘into it,’ as you say. I’ve thought of little else since that night except for how I might explain my retreat and earn your forgiveness.”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” You assuage his worry, assuming the explanation is forthcoming.

Broad palms smoothing to your spine, he pulls your pliant body close to banish the cushion of non-romantic space you created solely for his benefit and for which he determines there is no obvious benefit. Kissing first the top of your head, he perches his chin upon your lovingly consecrated crown. Exhaling a heated breath into your scalp, his lips move against the silken locks of your hair. “Dean, in his way, helped me understand a feeling I’ve struggled to identify. When it peaked that night – overwhelming, exhilarating, the height of a foreign precipice I could equate only with a sense of uncontrollable falling – I feared the unknown dangers it posed to you.”

“To us,” you correct. “We’re either together in this, or we’re-”

“Us,” he firmly agrees before you can finish; the hint of a smile touches his stoic pout.

Wriggling in his delightfully confining grasp, you wind your arms around his neck; anchoring your wandering fingers into the chestnut curls overlying his nape, you guide his forehead down to rest against yours. You know the feeling well to which he alluded; the terror, too, of a new love.

“Love,” he echoes the sentiment coloring your mind. “Yes, love.”

You shudder in surprise against the perceived incursion upon your thoughts and scold him with a mock-scowl.

Again seeking absolution, he teases you with the feathery brush of a kiss upon the side of your mouth; gratitude wells in his angelic heart when you give chase to his lips in order to seal and solidify your devotion despite his missteps; missteps of which he is certain there will be many yet to come.

Castiel tag list:  (Closed, if you’d like to be removed please let me know!)    @jeepangel  @sammiesamness  @willowing-love  @roxy-davenport  @blueicevalkyrie   @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11  @thesugargalaxy    @bluetina-blog  @dont-trust-humanity  @afanofmanystuffs  @honeybeetrash  @bucky-thorin-winchester  @superwholockz   @tistai  @wordstothewisereaders  @gill-ons  @mrswhozeewhatsis  @marisayouass  @stone-met   @castiel-savvy18  @samualmortgrim  @trexrambling  @magnificent-mantle  @kdfrqqg  @xdifsx  @moon-and-stars-cas  @mandilion76  @rockfairy  @peaceloveancolor  @unicorntrooper  @anisolatedship  @itsilvermorny  @aditimukul  @kudosia  @goofynerd-67babylove  @uninspirationalsonglyrics  @gray-avidan  @mishascupcake   @mishapanicmeow   @praisecastielamen  @roseyhxnt  @jessikared97  @let-the-imaginationflow  @warriorqueen1991   @sebastianstanslefteyebrow   @hisnameisboobear  @kristendanwayne  @fuschiarulerinthebluebox  @coolpencilpie  @jenabean75  @luciathewinchestergirl  @morganas-pendragons  @heyitscam99  @fangirl-and-stuff  @selahbela  @realgreglestrade  @splendidcas  @pointlesscasey  @i-larb-spooderman  @thewhiterabbit42  @thelostverse  @castieliswatchingoverme  @beccollie18  @dragonett8  @dixie-chick  @jtownraindancer   @carowinsthings  @passionghost  @sherlockedtash88  @futureparent  @gabbie7-11  @myfandomlife-blog  @dreamerkim  @shamelesslydean  @earthtokace  @neaeri  @justanormalangel  @lone-loba  @supernaturalymarvel  @lilrubixx  @wings-and-halo  @thehoneybeecastielfollows  @musiclovinchic93  @81mysteriouslyme  @the-bottom-of-the-abyss  @jaylarkson @pixiedusts  @spookysculderfiles  @laqueus-ludovicus  @missjenniferb @lexininja  @jessiekay2010   @skrratata  @rhiannonj79  @calicat79

[paladin-lynx]

Human SQUIPtober 2019, Day 10: Leaves

Human SQUIPtober 2019 Day 10: Leaves

Ships Involved: RiverWay (Two River SQUIP [River] x Broadway SQUIP [Ly])

Setting: AU where River and Ly somehow both became human after being SQUIPs for their respective Jeremys, and they now live together. They don’t quite understand how they can both exist, but it isn’t worth questioning it.

Trigger/Content Warnings: None

Author’s Notes: (I was almost on time with this one!) I’m back! Here’s a fluffier piece for this pair. Enjoy!

“Come on, Riv, you’re so slow! And you wonder why I call you an old man!”

River rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands into his pockets despite the fact that just a few years ago, he would’ve chided Jeremy for doing the same thing. Ly had convinced him that they should take advantage of the weather and take a stroll through the park. It was the middle of autumn, right at that perfect midway point between hot and cold where you needed a jacket, but nothing overly bulky or uncomfortable. River was wearing a light coat and scarf – the latter was more for the look than the practicality, sue him – while Ly ran ahead of him in a sweatshirt and beanie.

River absolutely loathed how adorable he looked.

Sometimes he found it unbelievable that they were, in a way, the same person, just different versions. People often mocked the theory of multiple universes where an entity could be one thing in one universe and the complete opposite in another. To be honest, River himself, with his constant overthinking and overanalyzing, would probably still be one of those people if it hadn’t been for the sudden appearance of the embodiment of the 3.0 Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor Patch at his doorstep, claiming to have been in the head of a completely different Jeremy Heere in a completely different Middleborough High.

“You specifically said you wanted to take a stroll, love,” River called after his companion, still keeping his leisurely pace. It was, in fact, a nice day and he was going to take the time to appreciate the fall scenery. This was one of his favorite times of year. Part of him wondered if it was because he’d been activated during this season, so it was one of the first things he got to experience through Jeremy’s eyes. The world was a ridiculous place, but it did have its nice aspects.

Ly finally slowed down so that River could catch up, turning to him with that stupid cheeky grin of his. “I can’t help getting excited. There’s so much to see and do out here, Riv. Stop being so dull.”

River blinked. That was right. This was Ly’s first autumn as a human, so of course he was going to be bouncing all over the place, just like he did with everything else he was experiencing for the first time as a human. River was half-convinced that the first time Ly had hooked up with someone – because of course he had done that, with his ‘cool party boy’ attitude – he’d probably finished early solely from how overwhelming all of the sensations were. River almost wanted to know so he could mock him for it, but at the same time, no thank you.

Even with the epiphany about Ly’s behavior, River still huffed. “You won’t be able to appreciate it if you’re just running past all of it.”

Ly sighed, readjusting his beanie. “I suppose you’re right. I’ll take it easy a bit.”

River couldn’t help a little smile, continuing along the path they were walking. “Come on, then.”

Ly walked beside him and gazed all around them. There was indeed a lot to take in. The trees had lost a lot of their leaves but weren’t completely bare yet. Brown, orange, and golden debris blazed against the green grass, and there was a slight nip in the breeze that whisked past that had River shrinking down into his coat for a brief moment, nuzzling his nose into his scarf. But just as quickly, the late afternoon sun melted away the chill.

It wasn’t as if Ly had been the only one with this idea. They weren’t alone at the park. There were plenty of people out. Families exploring the trails, people walking their dogs or letting them run free and frolic about, couples huddling together under the trees, and a plethora of others. River was pretty sure he spotted a group of teenagers decked out in costumes and armor rushing past at one point, weaving through the trees as they chased each other. He would bet they were LARPers. Judging by their outfits, from the glimpses he’d caught, it was some sort of fantasy adventure, like in Dungeons & Dragons.

Michael had once tried to get Jeremy to join one of his online D&D campaigns. Jeremy had refused because it was bad enough interacting with people he did know; he would be a mess with people he didn’t know and in a game that most of them had probably been playing for years that he had no idea about. Plus, that game involved math, and Jeremy despised math in all forms.

River furrowed his eyebrows at the thought, hurriedly shaking it away. He was here now. Jeremy and Michael were off living their best lives. Maybe Jeremy had joined the game after all. He’d like it. Christine would, too, at least the role-playing aspect.

River was having a difficult time pulling himself out of his own head, as he often did, but as always he was snapped back to reality by Ly’s voice: “Oh! Hello!”

He blinked and saw Ly kneeling down as a pair of dogs, tongues lolling from their mouths, bounded over to him. One was larger with curly golden fur while the other, which struggled a bit to keep up, was shorter and tubbier with darker brown fur, although River spotted some lighter markings on its belly. River guessed that the bigger one was a golden retriever and poodle mix – a goldendoodle, if he remembered currently – based on the wavy fur and the body shape. The smaller one took him a moment longer, unsure at first if it was a Boston terrier or a French bulldog, although he realized after a moment that it was too wide to be a Boston terrier.

Ly laughed as the goldendoodle eagerly lapped at his face and the bulldog jumped up to try and do the same. River watched from a safe few feet away, letting Ly have his moment, although after a moment the bulldog seemed to give up and decided to pick a new target, waddling over to River’s feet and giving him what almost looked like an open-mouthed smile.

River couldn’t help it as he chuckled and crouched down, offering the bulldog a few pats on the head, watching as it tried to lick his wrist. “Hello there, friend,” he greeted softly.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” River looked up to see a young woman, no older than twenty-five, jogging over to them with a bewildered look on her face. “They don’t normally run off like that, I guess they just got a bit too excited…” She leaned down to clip a leash to the goldendoodle’s collar, but Ly waved her away, grinning widely.

“It’s alright. We’re always happy to make a few new friends.” He peeked over at River. “Right, River?”

River, not wanting to be improper in front of a stranger, sighed softly, ruffling the bulldog’s ears as he gave the woman a polite smile. “It’s no trouble. I’m glad they stopped to see us instead of just booking it away from you.”

The woman laughed softly, and despite Ly’s insistence, she did clip the leashes onto the two dogs’ collars, just in case. “I know they would never hurt anyone, but you never know who might get scared, or annoyed.”

“Can I ask what their names are?” Ly questioned. River would never cease to be amazed at how quickly Ly could go from being a complete child to civil and well-mannered.

The woman smiled, pointing to the goldendoodle. “She’s Spaghetti”—she then pointed to the bulldog—“and he’s Meatball.”

Ly turned to River again, stars shimmering in his eyes as he grinned like an idiot. River wanted to tease him, but he felt his own heart melt at the woman’s words. He smiled softly down at Meatball, petting him again. “What cute names.”

“Thank you. I hate to pull them away from you, but I really do have to go…”

Ly leaned over to plant a little kiss on the top of Spaghetti’s head before getting to his feet. “Thank you for your time.”

She smiled and gave a little tug on the leashes, and the dogs trotted back over to her. They seemed well-trained, River thought to himself. He wondered what had caused them to just run away like they had. Were River and Ly that interesting? Or perhaps the two dogs had that strange sixth sense animals seemed to have and knew that something was off about them?

“Thank you for keeping them entertained.” The woman gave another smile and waved as she turned to lead the dogs away. “Have a nice day!”

“You too!” River and Ly called at the same time, exchanging a glance. Ly smirked and the moment was over, and River – as usual – turned away with a roll of his eyes. Soon enough, they were continuing on.

“Maybe we should get a pet,” Ly hummed.

River gave him a pointed look. “It’s enough work just looking after you.”

Ly laughed. “Oh, so I’m your pet now, am I?”

River blinked a few times before his cheeks warmed and he hid behind his scarf, looking away. “Why must you bring everything back to sex like a miscreant?”

“Everything comes from sex, dear River. In fact—”

“Do. Not. Finish that statement,” River practically growled.

Ly seemed to consider it for a moment before simply smiling and clasping his hands behind his back, walking ahead and humming under his breath. River sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, before following.

They walked in rather comfortable silence for a little while. It seemed they were both finally taking the chance to actually take in the setting around them and just enjoy the splendor that the park had to offer. Maybe Spaghetti, Meatball, and that young woman’s friendly attitude had put them in a better temperament. Maybe they could actually have a peaceful rest of their day here.

“River, River, look!”

Or not.

River raised an eyebrow as Ly pointed to a bettered tended-to area of the park. The fallen leaves were in large, neat piles underneath their trees. “What?”

“What do you mean, what?” Ly huffed. “The leaves!”

“Yes, what about them?”

Ly groaned, rolling his eyes. River furrowed his eyebrows before he suddenly realized what Ly was planning. “Ly,” he warned.

Ly turned to him with a grin before sprinting away, toward the piles. River’s eyes widened as he chased after him. “Ly, someone probably spent all day raking th—!”

He winced, slowing to a stop as Ly dove straight into the pile, face-first. He was laughing as the leaves dipped under him, some flying up only to float back down on top of him. Of course, River had memories from Jeremy’s brain of the boy running around with Michael when they were littler – and maybe not so little, too – and jumping into the piles of freshly raked leaves, much to the chagrin of an exhausted Mr. Heere. Even so, even with the joy he knew the boys had felt from the silly antic, River sighed, grimacing slightly as he walked over closer to the pile. “Are you happy with yourself?”

“Very,” Ly sighed out, flipping to lay on his back in the leaf-pile, arms and legs splayed out as he closed his eyes. He looked about ready to go to sleep.

“Come on, Ly, do you have any idea what could be in those leaves? Dirt and bugs and debris and—”

River stopped when he saw Ly had opened an eye and was smirking at him. Once again, with how well they knew one another, River knew what he was planning. He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you goddamn dare.”

“Or what, Riv?” Ly purred, pushing himself up to sit.

River took a step back, but Ly was faster, grabbing onto River’s arms in a surprisingly strong grip and letting himself fall back into the pile. “Ly—!” River started, only to let out a horribly undignified shriek as he lost his balance and tumbled forward, falling into the leaves and also mostly on top of Ly.

With their combined weight, they only sank further into the pile and River found himself surrounded on all sides by leaves. It was warmer than he expected, and he could begin to understand how Ly had looked so comfortable before. However, he still pushed himself up so he was on his hands and knees over Ly instead of just collapsed on top of him. Ly had a grin on his face that could put the Cheshire cat to shame, and River once again found it hard to believe that this man had once formulated a half-decent plan to take over the human race. He scowled, praying that no one had seen – or heard – any of that. “Now are you happy with yourself?”

“Very,” Ly cackled out.

River sighed heavily, shaking his head, letting loose a few leaves that had gotten stuck there. “Unbelievable. Honestly, you’re supposed to be so much more advanced than me and yet here you are, acting like—”

Ly cut River off again, except this time, it was because he had leaned up to press his lips to River’s, kissing him gently. It did the trick and River shut up, eyes widening and cheeks flaming, and he couldn’t even move. He didn’t kiss back, but he didn’t pull away. He was just there, frozen like a machine that had short-circuited. Ly pulled away after only a few heartbeats, but it may as well have been hours in River’s mind. He simply stared, dumbfounded, at Ly under him, mouth slightly agape in shock.

Ly gave him a genuine smile, not one of his usual cocky smirks. “I just want you to have a bit of fun for once,” he murmured.

River blinked again, rather owlishly, before groaning and nuzzling into his scarf again as if to hide away. It seemed to have become more of a safety blanket than he’d intended. “I often question your idea of ‘fun,’” he muttered.

Ly chuckled, before abruptly falling quiet, eyes widening a bit. “Hold still,” he whispered, reaching up. River listened but his brow creased as Ly’s fingers brushed just slightly against his hair, and a moment later, Ly pulled his hand back. River’s breath caught as he saw the caterpillar, small and fuzzy, that was leisurely inching its way across Ly’s hand.

“How the hell did I not feel that there?” River breathed.

“Because my kiss was so great that you couldn’t focus on anything else?” Ly teased, chuckling.

River huffed. “Well, I was right about there being bugs.”

“Lighten up, River. We like making new friends, remember? Come on.”

Hesitantly, River moved to lay beside Ly in the pile, offering his hand when the caterpillar got to the edge of Ly’s. It didn’t even miss a beat as it crawled onto the new territory. River pulled his hand back to himself, smiling just a bit as he turned his hand this way and that, watching the caterpillar tirelessly climb about.

“Aw, he likes you,” Ly cooed, leaning his head against River’s shoulder.

River scoffed, but his eyes never left his new little companion. He was silent for a moment. “…Maybe I’ll reconsider about getting a pet.”

He tried to ignore the way his chest warmed as Ly laughed against him.