#I’d start my PhD probably

[glowing-gold]

It’s tough for me to have a casual conversation with someone about The Beatles. You see, a lot of people know me as “the girl who loves The Beatles”, so at parties people come up to me, they make the innocent mistake of approaching me while I’m 3-4 drinks in, and they ask me, “so you really like The Beatles huh?” a harmless, get to know you kind of question, an ice breaker if you will. And at first, I have to pretend to be cool about it. I’m like “yeah, that’s me! Big Beatles Fan over here!” And they’ll be lulled into a false sense of security and start asking me questions they think are fun party questions to ask someone. So they ask me, they say “What’s your favorite song?” And I tell them, I can’t possibly choose. There are so many to choose from, it depends on my mood, the time of day, what color I’m wearing, the weather outside. Are we talking early Beatles, middle-era or late stage Beatles? Is it a ballad or a rocker? What album is it on? Is it a John song, Paul song or a George song? Who produced the song? Etc etc

and I can see their eyeballs start to bulge as they realize, perhaps this was not the casual conversation they were hoping to have at their friends birthday party. So I grin and shake my head and backpedal and let them know if I had to choose, with a gun to my head, I’d probably say the Abbey Road Medley. this puts them back at ease, i can see them silently thank god, because they know what I’m talking about, they’ve heard that one and they probably like it too! We discuss which parts are best (Bathroom Window) and which parts aren’t as strong (Mr. Mustard). But then I’ll forget to be cool and start telling them about how the guitar solos on The End are actually Paul George and John taking turns, and how it’s probably the last time any of them played together in the studio and how devastating that is when you take into account the title of the song and the fact that they knew it was all coming to a close…. But only if you consider Abbey Road to be the last Beatles album, which is a hot button topic considering Let It Be came out in ‘70…

So they look at me and nod, looking Nervous again. Then, thinking they’re saving themselves by changing the subject, they ask me another fun, easy to answer, non-loaded party question: “so why DID they break up???!!”

See, that’s when I have to make a decision. Do I give this person the PhD defense they never asked for? Do I shut down the conversation right there and then? Do I TRY to give them the short answer they’re looking for (keeping in mind, I’m a little tipsy)?

I usually try to make the answer short but every time it ends up into a dissertation. And god, help me. I can SEE them lose interest with every passing second. Their eyes glaze over, they’re on their fourth or fifth “damn, that’s crazy”. But I’m grabbing their arm, white knuckled and crazed, frantically pleading with them: “there’s a lick in Beef Jerky that sounds IDENTICAL to the lick in Let Me Roll It, which goes to show these two men couldn’t stop writing together even when they were separated for years, and they continue to write together 40+ after John’s DEATH and isn’t their story the most TRAGIC AND HEARTBREAKING LOVE STORY OF OUR TIME????!!!!!

anyway, this meme:

[myfairkatiecat]

Keefe (for bingo)

AHELDHKAUSHDKJAAHJSSHAKSBDKHSKSDSHAJAHDLDUSBSKSJSHALSHDHSKA

OK I CONTRADICTED MYSELF A LOT SO LET ME EXPLAIN

this is my favorite character of all time in any media, right up there with Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars, Nicholas & Nathaniel Benedict from TMBS (showverse) and Lancelot from bbc Merlin. Actually probably slightly above all those characters which is SAYING SOMETHING.

Is he comic relief? Yes.

Would I be his friend? Yes.

Has he done nothing wrong? Yes!! No he’s done many things wrong he’s so precious to me ok but the law he’s broken the law I love him so much he literally betrayed his friends I will always love him he has sooo much to answer for I’m glad Sophie forgives him after she chews him out she should chew him out longer but I suppose Fitz does that for her He has so many apologies to make but like he’s also done nothing wrong look I’m aware of my blorbo’s mistakes he’s honestly not as problematic as the tumblr fandom makes him out to be sometimes, and I MEAN that, but he’s also not as perfect and sweet as the eleven year olds on Wattpad make him out to be. He’s a LOT okay, you can’t analyze Keefe Sencen without the everything

Are my opinions unpopular? Yep! The other keefe girlies hate my opinions bc I acknowledge his character flaws and the Keefe haters hate my opinions bc I acknowledge the fact that he’s NOT an antagonist and actually has a lot of really good traits, and that’s NOT me making excuses. Also what are y’all on about saying he doesn’t get held accountable for his actions, like yeah Sophie forgives him pretty fast but not until she’s yelled at him, and the rest of his friends do NOT bounce back to normal (Fitz)

Do I relate to him? Yes, unfortunately. I have Fitz’s trauma and Keefe’s coping mechanisms (they aren’t good coping mechanisms but they’re literally mine)

Is the fandom wrong about him? Yes, the Keefe fans and Keefe haters alike. Don’t flatten this guy there’s SO MUCH THERE. (I’m not talking about my Keefe-negative mutuals—if I follow you, you didn’t flatten his character, I am very serious about Keefe Sencen)

Do I want to adopt him? YES I mean I’m literally his age but if I was old enough to adopt him I totally would, get that kid away from Cassius Sencen and kill Gisela Sencen. Honestly tho I’d settle for an Elwin adoption, dad!Elwin rocks

Did he need less screen time? *sighs in resigned Keefe fan* probably…objectively…yes…

Did canon do him dirty? I debated filling in this one. Because Shannon has made him a SUPER complex character. But also I swear if the ending of stellarlune isn’t the last time he steals something from Sophie to carry out a reckless plan he told no one about, I’ll riot. Don’t give him forward character progress and then erase it! If it’s a momentary relapse of bad habits I’ll allow it but I’m starting to want Shannon to let Keefe grow from all of that. Cause she keeps letting him get better—and then slip back. (Which isn’t unrealistic and I can work with!! I love him! But SHANNON PLEASE)

Do I want to study him? I want to get a full on PhD in this guy’s character arc actually

Did he need more screen time? Heh. Uh. Objectively NO. But also this amount of page time has allowed us to learn so much about his character complexities?? Like I’m torn between missing the other characters and eating up his character arc. Currently I’m gonna hope book 10 expands the other characters more bc I need more of them and 9.5 can feed my Keefe brain

Would I hit him with a golf cart? Listen my friend made this bingo game (hi Bods, if you’re reading this) and I know exactly what the actual intention was behind this square. But like. I want to slightly run into him with a golf cart. Just enough to slightly injure him and make him rethink his life choices (affectionate) (actually in the words of@phtalogreenpoison “I’d like to microwave Keefe. Just shortly”)

Does he need therapy? OH MY GOSH YES. I have thought this about other characters but SPECIFICALLY KEEFE HOLY GUACAMOLE GET THAT GUY THERAPY

Is he insane? Define insane. But I love him anyway (what is going on in his head half the time 😭)

Am I rotating him in my head 24/7? WELL YOU’VE READ THE POST WHAT DO YOU THINK

Do I have so many headcanons? Oh you guys don’t know the half of it. I have. So. Many. SO MANY

Is he wasted potential? Uhhhh I have too many thoughts on this to actually put it on this post. Genuinely love what Shannon’s doing with his character, like I said. But at some point she needs to. Address the things. Or he just becomes a guy with all these complications introduced that just kinda sit there and continue to change and grow and Keefe is the complex character to end all complex characters but Shannon you need to DO SOMETHING WITH THE MASTERPIECE OF A CHARACTER THAT YOU HAVE CREATED

The amount of bingos holy moly

Anyway

Keefe means a lot to me

Thanks for the ask anon!

[delyth88]

Loki episode 5 reaction and initial thoughts

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I can’t believe it! I’m so unused to getting what I hope for with Loki in movies and TV that I almost don’t know what to do when you get almost exactly what you’d hoped for!!!!!   (Within the bounds of this being the TVA version of Loki of course.) That was excellent!  And hit most of the key things I was hoping for as well as giving some absolutely charming additions!

It packed in a lot of story, and it was a delight to see the characters on the timeline. It wasn’t as gripping and tense as the last episode, but that's probably a good thing for my stress levels lol! But it was a really lovely time travel story.

And Loki has unlocked a new ability. Maybe.

The opening music!! Perfectly creepy!  And even more so than the music over the credits of the last episode. It really sounded like the disintegration of reality!

And I loved the way the letters disappeared from the Loki title card… *shivers*

It was a small thing, but nice to see at least one thing I’d guessed correct – that they started the episode with the reverse of this shot at the end of episode 4.

I loved how spooky it was having Loki walk through the corridors of the TVA by himself. And I did rather enjoy the moment he almost met himself.  That was cute. But it was clear that they needed to get on to other things quite quickly – there was a lot in this episode!!

The imagery of the universe disintegrating was perfectly terrifying! (Although I was getting big “snap” vibes.)  And what is Fail Safe Mode? And does it matter?

I was a little sad to see Casey was a prisoner. 😔   But I wonder if we’ll see these timeline versions of the characters again?  I feel like the need for them is over? Unless maybe briefly at the start of the last episode. So we didn't have to watch him being particularly horrible.

I didn’t pick that he’d be the first person Loki would visit, nor did I pick that it would all be unintentional. 

I did like the way Loki still hoped that Mobius would recognise him. And the conversation itself was ambiguous enough I suppose for the first couple of sentences that you could interpret it that way. Poor Loki looked so disappointed!

I laughed as was intended at the imitation of the inflatable advertising character.  😁

And then OB!!!  Omg!  I LOVE what they chose to do with his character!!!  He was so sweet, and retained his enthusiastic and super intelligent personality! I hadn’t really settled on what I thought OB might have been like on the timeline, but this was so much better! And how he was like “and I had to get a PHD to keep my day job as a theoretical physicist”….!  😄

And @pinkpondofasgard I hope you’ve seen this episode when you see this mention, because spoilers - looks like you were right about this being a location from OB’s past!  Which I think is super cool!  I don’t have any idea what this would be in the 1990s in the US, but obviously it worked so well for OB that he replicated it in the TVA!  Unless this whole series all turns out to be his dream… Ha ha! Ha…. ha…… er…  Anyway. I love that so many of the shelves are covered in books instead of technical TVA equipment.

Okay, so now I’m seriously thinking there’s a chance OB might actually be the founder of the TVA.  HWR could easily have come along later and taken over the leadership and wiped his memories.  But the fact the rooms are sooooo similar is just a bit too weird.

I did like how they handled Loki explaining things to Mobius.  Mobius was suitably sceptical and Loki was trying so hard not to sound threatening, but that’s not really his bag, is it. Lol! Things would definitely have gone pear shaped if OB hadn’t turned up.

I feel like Loki’s getting a lot of use out of the phrase “I promise you this will make sense” lol!

While I was kinda looking forward to the multiple crazy conversations while Loki tries to convince people he’s not mad, I do appreciate they had to make this quick, and I liked how they made each interaction shorter than the one before it, until he didn’t even need to say anything after stepping through the time door.

Then there was Sylvie.  I was by this point just as surprised as Loki that she kept her memories.  Now I have to assume that’s because she wasn’t ever a TVA worker who had her memories wiped.  But if that’s the case, then why wasn’t she in the Loom room with Loki when he ‘woke up’?  I’m assuming we’re meant to understand that this is because Loki feels most at home in the TVA, rather than Asgard. I find that's a little bit much, personally.  But I guess I’ll put that one to the side for the moment.

I did not expect her to be so adamant about not helping.  I mean I should have, but I didn’t. Their conversation at the bar was interesting, and I liked that Loki was so concerned that the TVA folk get a choice.  (And I kinda think now that they might, come the end of the season.  With OB choosing to stay because it’s literally his dream, Casey because it’s better than being an escaped prisoner, and B-15 and Mobius choosing to leave.)

The whole scene in the record shop – that was cool!  The small things that went wrong first, and the way the store owner slowly noticed it. *shivers*

Although again, very similar to the snap. I like how small objects vanish first, and I really should have seen that coming when the tempad went missing, but I didn’t.  I think there was just so much squashed into this episode!

And this was such a haunting image.

And then Sylvie says “there’s nowhere left to go” before she too disintegrates.  Eeeee!

Again, this looked really cool!  Are we meant to understand that Loki could hear a moment in the timeline of a person each time he touched a thread?  I wonder if that holds for any thread? Or was that just illustrating his memories?

I’m not sure that’s important though, given he almost immediately jumps back to the TVA, but we haven’t seen this image from the mid-season trailer yet. Not one from this angle where Sylvie is still whole, and where Loki is standing confidently and making this specific gesture.  I wonder now if he’s just snapped his fingers? Perhaps this moment is revisited, or perhaps just an alternate take that looked cool for the trailer.

I did like the ending, and how he jumped back to them all to tell them he’d figured out how to do it.  I wonder if he’ll be able to come back to them under his own steam at a later date? 

I’m still not entirely sure if this is something that in integral to Loki now or whether its related to circumstances. Like will it be possible to time-slip after the TVA is restored? If that means going back within the TVA before the moment he started time-slipping in the first place. *shrug*

So, what point did he jump back to?  There’s an alarm blaring in the background, but no other identifying things.  So I’m guessing this is just as they watch Timely go down the stairs to suit up?

Does he try to stop Timely from going out there? Explain it didn’t work, and then ask OB for information in the last few moment before jumping back further?

And more importantly, after the multiverse is saved, does this mean he can jump to the time and place of any person he cares about?  Could he visit his Mum? Or a Thor?!! 🥲

Ah!  This was a really great time travel episode! And I'm thoroughly looking forward to the final episode.

Tagging @sparklegemstone @pinkpondofasgard @woodelf68 @scintillatingshortgirl19 @projectprotectloki @ladyofthestayingpower @juliabohemian @galaxythreads @makerofrunevests @thelightofthingshopedfor

As usual, please let me know if you'd rather not be tagged. :)

[morose-magnetrix]

Hi I saw that you’re a big Lorna Dane fan and that you’ve read a lot of her comics. Do you have a recommended reading list for her?

Hey there! 💚🧲 Thanks for the ask!

I use Travis Starnes’ reading order for my Polaris-athon (https://cmro.travis-starnes.com/character_details.php?character=426) but if you’re just wanting to get into her stories it’s way too much tbh. She has a lot of appearances and it can be difficult to sort through the meaningful ones and the ones where she’s just on the page as a recognizable cameo.

I haven’t managed to read all of her appearances yet - I’ve gotten up to the early 90s, and I’ve read most of her appearances from, like, 2016 onwards. I’m a little behind on Fall of X as well. So there likely are going to be some gaps here, but this would be my recommended reading list for Polaris 🧲 :

Krakoan Age (2019-)

this is the golden age for Polaris in my opinion, and where I’d honestly recommend you start reading!

Leah Williams’ X-Factor: This is where the modern revitalization of Polaris into the It Girl of Krakoa really begins. There is controversy surrounding the final issue of the series due to Prodigy's storyline (see here, here, and here for more info), but overall I really love this run. It’s very queer and does a great job of taking Polaris’ spotty characterization and having her begin a journey of self discovery.

Gerry Duggan’s X-Men: Gerry follows up on Leah’s work here and Polaris really starts to shine. Issue #5 is a standout and a personal favorite, if you only read one issue, it should be this one. She’s in vol. 1 as a main member of the team, and the spin offs from this period (Devil’s Reign X-Men and Death of Doctor Strange: X-Men/Black Knight) are really fun. Plus, Pepe Larraz’s redesign of her for this book is STUNNING.

Alex Segura's 'Control' arc in X-Men Unlimited (#96-99) : this is exclusive to the Marvel Unlimited app, but it’s really great. Lorna’s a cameo queen after leaving Gerry’s book, so it’s a nice centering of her and revisits some of her greatest villains.

Steve Orlando’s Scarlet Witch: Issue #3 is a must read in my opinion, particularly if you’re interested in Lorna’s relationship with her family (it builds off of Williams’ Trial of Magneto, which I love and establishes her PhD, but ultimately I think you can probably skip, it’s more of a Wanda focus).

The Lost Era (2010s)

This is the time period following the Decimation, where a lot of stories... tread water, tbh! Nothing here is essential reading for Polaris.

Lorna spends a lot of this era in the hands of Peter David, who is a vile scum sack of a person (see here for an example). I've read All New X-Factor (2014), where he characterizes her as someone who is completely unhinged and a danger to animals. It's not a fun time tbh. And again, it's Peter David - so I would skip this. You aren't missing much.

Cullen Bunn's X-Men Blue (2017): I've only read the first arc of this run, but it focuses on the time-displaced O5 X-Men (Jean, Warren, Scott, Bobby, Hank). Magneto is mentoring them, so Polaris steps in to keep him from making them too ~evil~. I haven't heard anything good or bad about her appearances in this book, so I can't really recommend one way or another. It's probably safe to skip.

Ed Brisson's Uncanny X-Men (2018): Again, I haven't read this one yet! It's the lead up to the Age of X-Man event, where she also appears. Similarly to X-Men Blue, I haven't really heard anything good or bad about this one. You can skip it if you'd like, it's right before Krakoa pops off which is a soft reboot from the entire franchise.

Decimation Era (2000s)

John Byrne's X-Men the Hidden Years: I haven't read this either yet, but I know some people really like it. It fleshes out a lot of the Silver Age stuff, and it's where Polaris uses the codename Magnetrix (where I got my blog name from lol).

Apocalypse: the Twelve: I have not read this. I have heard only bad things about it lmao. Polaris and Magneto are part of a prophecy about defeating Apocalypse, but it doesn't turn out the way they expect. Skip.

Grant Morrison's New X-Men #132: A transformative issue for Polaris and a HUGE milestone in her character. It deals with the Genoshan genocide, of which Polaris was one of the few survivors. Highly recommend.

Chuck Austen's Uncanny X-Men: So this run is very ~your mileage may vary~ - I haven't read it yet myself. BUT from what I know, Austen really builds on Morrison's trauma that they gave to Lorna, and really takes her away from the assimilationist characterization Peter David gave her. Plus, it has the iconic Magneto wedding dress panel (Uncanny X-Men (1981) #426)

House of M (2005): she's in it, she doesn't really do much! Skip.

Peter Milligan's X-Men: Polaris becomes Pestilence, the horseman of Apocalypse in the Blood of Apocalypse arc beginning in X-Men (1991) #181. I haven't read it, but tbh most Apocalypse storylines between the original X-Factor arc and the Krakoan age are bad, so it's probably safe to skip.

After her spin as Pestilence, Lorna goes to space and joins the Starjammers. I haven't read this yet either, but it seems like fun! Relevant titles would be Uncanny X-Men (1981) Rise and Fall of the Shi'Ar Empire (#475-486), X-Men: Emperor Vulcan #1-5 (2007), and then the War of Kings (2009) event.

1990s

Skip this entire era. She's basically just in Peter David's original run on X-Factor (1986). The artwork is pretty, but the writing comes off as very male gaze-y to me and her character arc is somewhat repetitive.

X-Factor (1986) #186 (eXaminations) is famous for being an in-depth character study of the entire team. It's where we first see Lorna's eating disorder pop up. It's well done, just, well - fuck the writer lol.

Claremont Run (1975-1980s)

Lorna's storyline is overall a little confusing and hard to follow in the Claremont era, mostly because she is a) mind-controlled for most of it and b) not the main plot. So she ends up appearing in random issues, sometimes gone for huge lengths at a time, and then reappears. It's really clear that Chris was interested in working with this character and had some great ideas for her, but she was never one of his main blorbos.

These are the issues you should check out:

Giant Size X-Men (1975): Claremont didn't write this, Len Wein did, but this is really the start of the Claremont run. It has some cool moments for Polaris, including an early example of a mutant circuit between her and Storm!

X-Men (1963) #97: Lorna and Havok are mind-controlled by Erik the Red (don't worry about it) to fight the X-Men.

X-Men (1963) #125-129: the Proteus arc, Lorna is on Muir island with Havok and helps out. Nothing super critical happens, she just sorta vibes (and enjoys not being mind controlled).

Uncanny X-Men (1981) #145-146: Arcade has kidnapped loved ones of the X-Men, tbh I would recommend reading this just for Polaris' outfit. It's this witchy purple thing that is INCREDIBLE.

Uncanny X-Men (1981) #218-219, 221-222, 239-241, 243, X-Factor (1986) #39: Polaris is possessed by Malice, so now she's fighting against the X-Men... and working for Sinister! It's not technically her, but it's iconic and is a prime example of a running motif of possession for her.

Uncanny X-Men (1981) #249-250: ZALADANE! An iconic retcon, we meet Lorna's long lost sister (again).

Uncanny X-Men (1981) #253-255, 257-258, 269, X-Factor (1986) #69, Uncanny X-Men (1981) #280, X-Factor (1986) #70: Big!Lorna and the Muir Island saga. It's very weird! But I love big!Lorna and her muscles, so we stan. This is also the very weird end of Chris Claremont's main run on the X-Men, where it's very clear the plots got messed with in the wrap-up.

After this, Peter David takes over X-Factor, and he's garbage!

The Silver Age (1960s)

So this is Lorna's debut era, she's an OG member of the X-Men! Unfortunately even here, they never quite know what to do with her. She's very much intended to function as Bobby's love interest, which... doesn't really work out lmao. But I do think this era is fun to read, especially knowing what retcons they're going to build out later on for her, particularly with regards to Magneto.

She's not in too many issues:

Arnold Drake's X-Men (1963) #49-52: Lorna's first appearance! It's super fun, definitely check it out.

Linda Fite's X-Men (1963) #57: Lorna fights a sentinel!

Roy Thomas's X-Men (1963) #58-62: Some more fun moments - Kazar/Sauron arc, and the first appearance of Havok!

Dennis O'Neil's X-Men (1963) #65-66: The Z'nox invasion, Lorna has some cool moments here. Still no codename tho lol.

I'll try to update this as I fill in my gaps, but happy reading!! 🧲💚

[kaylinamaes]

Writeblr intro!!

Since I haven’t gotten around to it,, Hi! Im Kayliná or just Liná (pronounced like kah-line-ah or line-ah)

I’m 24, Dutch and Palestinian. I speak English, Dutch, German, Turkish, and enough French/arabic to get by without embarrassing myself. Im born and raised in The Netherlands but im an avid traveler. I have my bachelors in Sociology and a minor in Middle Eastern Studies. Im currently pursuing a PhD in Sociology. I love baking, I’m obsessed with European history, horror and anything grotesque. I also have a baby boy who I’ll probably refer to as Musa.

I’ve been writing since I was about 10/11. It started with notebooks filled with unfinished novels I thought would make me famous (my handwriting is illegible), then ended up on discord with role playing. I considered writing and publishing my first book when I was 16 but never completed my draft (it’s my favourite wip unfortunately). As of right now I’m working on a project that I hope to publish by the end of the year.

A lot of my writing has been heavily influenced by autobiographical content and emotional depth, exploring themes of death, self, nature, and the feminine condition. I like to think that I’m in the range of contemporary fiction. Anything with psychological depth is right up my alley. I only write FxF romance for my main characters. Unfortunately I can only stomach anything else for side characters or backstory lore. I’m a raging lesbian so all my protagonists have to be as well.

I’m quite quiet generally but I’m always active and always listening. I’ve also got a disease that frequently has me on bed rest so, in turn, I’m always writing :)

I have 5 completed manuscripts, which I’ll probably give the descriptions for at a later date.

However, my main focus is Woman Austere:

The description I wrote at 3am says:

‘In a bustling cityscape (Beirut, Lebanon) where noise becomes a cacophony, Miriam, a woman in her early 30s with agoraphobia and severe OCD, finds solace in the simplicity of her secluded life. Haunted by her painful past, she seeks refuge in the quietude of her small flat, carefully crafted by the austerity she’s chosen. Miriam grapples with the memories of a love lost, the societal expectations that shaped her, and the tumultuous journey of self discovery, with the help of a woman who’s the inverted version of herself.’

Being Austere generally describes a person or thing that is severe or strict in manner, attitude, or appearance. A person described as austere still may exhibit warmth, kindness, and other qualities in specific contexts.

—

Anyway! That’s me :) I’d love to get to know everyone who’s interested in doing the same with me!

[gemini-care-barr]

Interesting you say ur top three heroes are Batman, Hal and flash! I’m surprised superman (or a superman member like superhero) didn’t take place of third and Bruce did! Can you indulge as to why? X

Oof, this one is gonna be a loaded answer haha.

So, just to get it out there, my top 5 heroes, in order, are The Flash (Barry Allen), Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), Batman (Bruce Wayne), Aquaman (Arthur Curry), and Superman (Clark Kent). There have been times in the past where Bruce and Hal have switched places, but they’ve been pretty solidly in their current spots for the past few years and I expect they’ll be staying there in the foreseeable future haha.

Now, I want to kinda defend my love of Clark while I’m here too, so I’ll start by saying I do absolutely adore him. I think he’s an amazing character and I’m absolutely already planning my future PHD dissertation on him and his stories haha. He has a rich history and is so admirable and sweet and good, not unlike my absolute bestest boy Barry, but I almost feel like that’s why he isn’t in my top 3. I already have Barry! And Barry scratches some intellectual and emotional itches that Clark doesn’t, which is the perfect segue into why I love Bruce.

I was a sad kid… lol. Like really sad! Like the level of sad where you can look at a ton of my childhood photos and I’m very rarely looking at the camera because I’d much rather be moping around with my face hiding up against my mom or dad ahaha. And it was with this incredible sadness that I looked upon Bruce’s face for the first time and saw a kindred spirit. Granted, Bruce had a (very well-known) reason to be sad while I was just a very marred by unfortunate events but otherwise mostly blessed child, but Bruce’s sadness was still very raw and real and relatable to me. And still is!

But I love him for more than just his broodiness, I also love him because of his incredible capacity to love and, maybe, hopefully, at least sometimes, be happy despite that sadness. Bruce is an amazingly tortured soul who still finds the time, and puts in the effort, to keep going, keep loving, keep finding and fighting for happiness. Does he get beaten down sometimes? Does he brood a lot? Does he come across as a bit heartless or cold? Self-isolate? Yes, all of the above. But he also has the BatFamily, he created the BatFamily. The BatFamily that includes Alfred, Selina, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Duke, Barbara, Cassandra, Stephanie, Kate, Lucius, Gordon, Luke, and probably several more than I’m woefully forgetting. And he fights for and loves all of them and they are his happiness and light and motivation and I just love that so much because, yeah, same. I can be incredibly sad and mopey and not want to be with anyone, but then I remember my family and friends and I want to fight for them and their happiness too and I get Bruce in those moments.

Still, Bruce is not only intensely relatable for me, he’s also hugely admirable. Because, man, do I not want to do anything for anyone sometimes haha. Yeah, I just went on a whole spiel about wanting to fight for the happiness of my loved ones, but, hey, I’m not perfect and I am very susceptible to thinking “yeah, I care, but I’m sad right now and I don’t really want to care,” but Bruce’s unending fight is the fight to care despite having no reason to. He’s literally a vigilante in the most corrupt and crime-ridden city on the planet, a place where no one cares, and yet he puts on the cape and cowl each night to show and prove that he cares even if no one else does. He cares even if he has no reason to. He cares even when he has a reason not to. He’s so sad and broken and isolated, but he cares. And that is so dang cool.

So, yeah, I’m not here to start any “Batman vs Superman: who is the cooler hero??” discourse, but I am going to point out that I think their true dichotomy isn’t that one has powers and the other is just a man. It’s that one serves as a beacon of hope for a world that wants to hope, while the other is a beacon of hope for a world that is so sick and tired of hoping. The storytelling possibilities are endless in either direction, and I, personally, just find myself extremely drawn to the latter.

Bottom line: he’ll always be my Bruce 🫶

[vampryoteuthis]

Hey do you have any akatsuki stories you’d recommend? Or just enstars stories in general? I’m still new to the game but I’d like to understand the characters more :3

I’m super flattered you’d ask me!! My reputation as the Akatsuki Guy continues to precede me huh… I also want to say I have a friend who is working on an akatsuki story masterlist right now, which will go into more depth than I might.

well! this got much longer than i expected! using the read more feature to spare all of you.

In general, for any era of enstars stories, I’d recommend switching between event stories and gacha stories, especially for any reminisce stories. The reminisce stories have some of the best plot driven writing in enstars, but almost all of them deal with heavy topics and are pretty darn long (Meteor Impact is currently the longest enstars story outside of the SS finals at 54 chapters!). This goes for any unit that’s from (!) era.

Also, when I say (!) era and (!!) era, I’m referring to the game the story is from. Anything from (!) era is from Ensemble Stars Basic, and anything from (!!) era is from Ensemble Stars Music. The timeline of Basic takes place a year prior to Music, and the units Alkaloid and Crazy:B are not present in any Basic stories (you probably already knew that but it never hurts to overexplain!) As for the aforementioned reminisce stories, as they’d have you believe, these stories take place prior to the events of Basic by a year. All of these stories, with the exception of Obbligato, were written during Basic’s game run. These are the stories that The War(tm) (which you may have heard of) takes place in.

ok now for the actual story recommendations… all of the (!) era stories can be found on the Wayback Machine (they used to be on the enstars wikia until they were taken off in August 2021), and (!!) era stories may be fan translated, but all will be officially translated in the English app (someday).

Please keep in mind these are all just recommendations! Read whatever you’d like at whatever pace.

For (!) era, I recommend reading the main story first. Akatsuki is pretty relevant in it, and it gives you a pretty good idea of their character at the start of the game. The main story is also covered in the anime, but it doesn’t give the most comprehensive takes on some characters. Think of it as watching an abridged movie version of a book.

After that, I recommend reading the event story Tanabata, which is a pretty early on (chronologically) story featuring both akatsuki and ra*bits, then read the event story Quarrel Festival which is an event story I’ve read at least five times at this point, and features akatsuki and fine. These are both pretty good stories for understanding akatsuki after the events of the main story (these stories take place in the summer, while the main story takes place in the spring).

After that I really really recommend reading the Underdoctor gacha story because it’s very cute and fun and you probably need a break after Quarrel Festival. Then you should read the Hanafuda gacha story and the Cats and Camelia event story. These are both pretty light reads too which is nice!

Ok did you have fun reading light and easy to understand content? Because the next couple stories will not be that in the slightest. Repayfes is super important, because it’s (chronologically) the last story before (!!)’s story. Akatsuki is infamously not the main characters of this story - It’s primarily an UNDEAD and 2wink focused story. Nevertheless, it’s still important to read, especially for reading Crossroad, which is what DEADMANZ (the band that’s mentioned in Repayment Fes) is from. I could get a phd on this story it drives me absolutely crazy. Really good story for all 3 akatsukis but it primarily features Keito and Kuro. After that, buckle in, we’re reading Meteor Impact. This is like the big bad enstars story everyone talks about that changed their lives. It’s good, yes, but I’m begging you, dear reader, please read it for akatsuki’s moments too, and not just Chiaki and Kanata - they’re the featured 5 stars, yes, but this is an incredibly important story for akatsuki as well, not just ryuseitai and MaM.

Speaking of MaM I hope you like Madara because I’m making you read Shinsengumi next. Long time friends of mine know how much I love my little darling boy Madara Mikejima so you bet I love this story. It’s also a really good Kuro story so you bet I love it even more. Epic win. This story is not a reminisce story, so you’re finally free. It’s kinda heavy content wise Kuro talks about his mom and Madara does some mind game bullshit with multiple people but I HIGHLY recommend this one. Trust me

There’s also a song that goes with this one!

Ok and last but not least for (!) event stories, I recommend the Cinderella event. This one is a pretty fun read compared to whatever the hell Shinsengumi is. Kuro breaks a window. Keito wears a dress. Stellar content. I also think you should read the Four Beasts of Fistfighting gacha because it’s very important to understanding the Dragon King B1 which - wow! - is first mentioned in the Main Story! It’s like one big circle huh? Crazy

These aren’t every single akatsuki story, as well! Feel free to pick and choose gacha stories that feature any of the akatsuki members in them. I have some personal favorites, but they don’t really add any Lore context you’d be missing. Comic World and Onigashima are two of my favorites of these.

Ok that’s it for (!) content! This is already waaaay way too long so I’m so sorry.

For (!!) content, I recommend first reading the Music Main Story. Akatsuki isn’t a main character in this one, but they do have some important updates on what each character is up to and how akatsuki is doing as a unit after Kuro + Keito have graduated.

Now, this is where some stuff gets hard. Every story in the Japanese version of Enstars Music will eventually be translated, but engstars is about two years behind, meaning this post may be outdated soon! If there’s a story on here that looks cool and you don’t see it on engstars, know it’ll be there eventually! You can also look for fan translations online. Many translators do not like their translations being included in master lists, so I will not be linking to any direct translations in this post out of respect.

My number one recommendation for a music akatsuki story is Blade and Fist (also known as Unification by Force). It’s currently available to read on the English version, as it was Kuro’s center event. If you’re not an akatsuki fan after reading the over a dozen stories I suggested, this is gonna do it for you. It’s such a good story I highly highly highly recommend it!

I also recommend Spy the Mission (no souma in this one but keito + kuro are very prominent in it) and Vagabond (all of akatsuki is in this), for stories currently out in engstars. It also never hurts to browse idol stories of the three - the idol stories tend to be a lot more lighthearted and less plot relevant, and have the idols interacting with each other! Very very cute and fun. I recommend this for any idols you like, honestly!

Well, you made it. You read my entire word soup about akatsuki stories. Congrats. Did I mention it took doctors 20 years to realize I was autistic.

If you have any other questions please ask me!! Keep in mind this isn’t a comprehensive list at all - All of akatsuki have tons of other stories they’re in, these are just some of the most “important” ones!

have a wonderful night my dear sweet anonymous asker

[szallejhscorner]

Strawberry Crepes (Bonus Chapter)

How Long is Forever - Bonus Chapter

Here it is!! I promised to write this ages ago, and I finally found the time to do it. Not that easy with a five-month-old baby boy xD But here it finally is: the strawberry crepe date. I hope this can bring you some joy while we count down the days until season 2 will be there ♥

“I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Why not?”

“You didn’t answer me for hours.”

Instead of searching eye contact, you closely examine the crunching snow under your feet and how more and more tiny flakes become one with the already white carpet covering the floor. Chishiya walks next to you, hands tugged into the pockets of his winter coat, and you can hear a huff coming from his direction.

“I was at work. Don’t expect me to keep my hands on my phone all day long.”

You feel how your face reddens, but at least you can put the blame on the cold wind. “Yeah… I know. It was just… I saw you’d read the message and…”

Chishiya pauses, which you only notice after a couple more steps. As you turn around and finally face him, he watches you with a raised brow and a more than mocking grin. “Do you really think I’d give you my number just to ignore you afterwards?”

With a shrug, you start to walk again and hear Chishiya’s footsteps in the snow as he follows. “You’d be surprised.”

In fact, you’re more than glad that Chishiya agreed to visit the teahouse once more. It’s the third time now since you bumped into him in the hospital, only that today, you had suggested meeting already at his work place to walk down the street together.

You had been surprised when he had finally answered to your message, and shortly after, you were headed towards the hospital. This man is still a mystery to you. He is reserved and calm, rarely gives away anything about him and doesn’t seem too interested in other, and yet the feeling of connection hasn’t vanished the slightest.

Even now as you walk next to him, it feels like you have done this a thousand times already. As if he is an old childhood friend that you have almost forgotten about, but now that you’re next to him, the familiarity returns. Which is weird, because you’re sure that you have never met him anywhere before. That is something Chishiya agrees to, although you’re sure he feels it too.

Carefully walking through the snow, you watch him out of the corner of your eye. He has dyed his hair since the last time you’ve met; the dark hairline is almost invisible now. The cold has turned his otherwise light cheeks into a soft red and the breath comes out in white clouds, but there is no motion in his face otherwise.

For a brief moment, his eyes flicker towards you and then back to the street, unfazed by the attention you give him. It is weird – you both have rarely anything in common. Chishiya, who is about to earn his PhD and showing barely any interests in the things you like and do, continues to agree meeting you. Maybe it’s not only the love for cheesecakes that you have in common.

The colorful storefront is already in sight, and you grin at the thought of the many cake variants, too many for just a handful of visits. You’d have to come here at least a dozen times to try yourself through all the options, and maybe Chishiya will agree to accompany you a couple of times more?

“I hope they still have their homemade mango cheesecake today. It looked pretty nice the last- oh.”

You stop right in front of the door, Chishiya doing the same next to you. The teahouse is dark, and a plain white piece of paper is attached to the door. “Temporarily closed… but they were still open yesterday!”

The grin drops immediately, and you already mourn the missed chance of trying out the mango cheesecake. You hope that it will reopen soon enough, and not stay closed forever despite saying “temporarily”. It wouldn’t be the first store to do so.

Chishiya, who seems completely unfazed by the scene in front of him, never gets rid of his ever-mocking smirk. “Someone died, probably.”

“Why so?” You blink in confusion, unsure if he has made a very morbid joke or if he’s being serious. The raised brow and the following chuckle tell you it has to be the latter, though.

“Well, isn’t that obvious?” he answers with that cold voice that causes the butterflies inside your stomach to go crazy, “restaurants and such only close in the short run because there has been a fatality inside the family.”

“It doesn’t have to be something bad! Maybe… someone gave birth to a child or married?”

Another snort. “You think they wouldn’t have known that earlier?”

“Hrmpf.” Not even caring to say more, you look down towards the snowy ground to hide your pout while you try to warm your hands inside the pockets. Walking down here has kept you warm, but now that you’re not moving, winter’s cold is hitting you with its full force. Chishiya doesn’t seem bothered by the cold, and you wonder if hugging him would keep you warm. You don’t dare to do it actually, of course. But just standing in front of a closed store is not an option either, and you fear that the mysterious blonde will leave soon since there won’t be any cheesecakes today…

“No cheesecakes this time, I suppose”, he repeats your thoughts and starts to walk further down the road, making you wonder if he lives in that direction or if he just keeps walking to avoid the cold.

After a short moment of confusion, you quickly follow to catch up with him. He walks a fast pace now, a bit too fast for your liking. “What are we going to do now, then?”

Chishiya shrugs already before you have finished that sentence.

“I can’t speak for you.”

“You know any other teahouse or bakery or something nearby?” you try to keep the conversation running, most of all because you’re really in the mood for something sweet now, but the blonde shakes his head. “No.”

What follows is an awkward silence while you try to walk next to him, Chishiya not paying much attention to you. It makes you feel like a little child begging for attention while the adults don’t want it, and you already open your mouth to say goodbye, turn around and go home to drown in shame unnoticed when Chishiya stops all of a sudden, causing you to bump into his side.

“I’m so sorry! Wh…” you start, but then you notice that Chishiya isn’t looking at you and you follow his eyes instead. He has come to a halt in front of another store, this one definitely open with lots of warm lights and beautiful decorations promising a warm and comfy atmosphere. A crêperie.

“Oh.”

It’s impossible to keep back the grin, and so many thoughts are running through your head. So Chishiya is still interested in spending some time with you, and you will get something sweet at last. Besides, this room will definitely warm you up and shelter you from the freezing wind, and – well – you can spend more time with the fascinating blonde!

Said man opens the door without any further comment, activating a bell at the ceiling. The smell greeting you is fabulous, although it’s too much at once to name certain scents. All you know is that it’s sweet and wonderful and delicious, maybe even better than the teahouse.

“We can sit there”, you nod towards one of the remaining empty tables, but Chishiya is already heading there, proving that he has seen it too. It feels wonderful to take off your coat and let the warm air seep into your cold skin, and you watch the other tables to get a feeling of what is served here.

Crepes. Lots of them. With ice cream, with fruits, with syrup. It feels like heaven.

“How come I’ve never been to this place before?” you wonder while nodding towards the waiter to thank them for the menu. Chishiya opens his carte and takes a quick look, and it seems he has made a decision long before you could even take in the whole assortment.

The blonde shoves his menu back to the corner of the table and leans back in his chair. “I guess you never bothered to walk further down the teahouse.”

“Fair!” You grin and let your eyes wander along the fabulous options. “Time to change that, though.”

Chishiya doesn’t respond and instead waits for you to make a decision on your dessert. His brown eyes burn into you, and it always makes you feel so exposed, as if it’s impossible to hide anything from him. Surprisingly, you barely care.

“Hmm…” you mumble, “the one with strawberries sounds promising. But blue berry vanilla doesn’t seem to be bad either… What about you?”

“I’ll take the strawberries.”

Whenever you’re out with Kuina and you both can’t decide on a dish, you usually take both and share with each other. Since the blonde wants to take strawberries, which is what you’d like to taste too, you say: “Oh! Maybe I can take the blueberries and we can sh-“

“No.” The answer comes quick like a shot, and you can tell he’s absolutely serious about it.

“Why not?” you ask with a pout that you can’t suppress, since you had hoped to find an easy solution to your difficulties to decide.

Chishiya raises a brow and huffs. “Don’t expect me to give away my strawberries. Take both if you can’t decide on one of them.”

“But that’s too much!” It’s not just one crepe with a handful of fruits. The plates that are delivered around you are so full that you can’t see the porcelain anymore, and one portion could suffice to satisfy three people.

“Not my problem, isn’t it?”

“You’re rude, you know that?” You stick out your tongue and seconds later the waiter returns to take your orders. And since you’re still unsure which one to take, you actually do what Chishiya has suggested: you order both. “I’ll so regret that later”, you mutter as soon as the waiter has gone.

The blonde laughs and subtly shakes his head. “You probably will. But don’t complain to me about a sore stomach.”

To pass the waiting time, you ask Chishiya a bit about his work. His answers are short, but he seems to enjoy talking about the things he can do best. How he’s had many more solo surgeries than any other surgeon his age, and that he plans to break the internal record for the longest operation. It has something to do with hearts, but you don’t really understand most of the terms he uses.

Here and there, you even tell a bit about yourself: what you do for a living, where you want to go with your life and all that. And again it feels like talking to an old friend that you haven’t seen for a long time.

The crepes are brought to your table, and you swallow upon seeing two huge plates filled to the brim with crepes, fruit and ice cream. Not enough to feed three people, but an entire country. And yet you’re excited to dive into this heaven of a dessert.

“Bon appétit”, you smile to Chishiya as you both try your crepes. Both the strawberry and the blueberry vanilla one are so delicious that you immediately feel like being in heaven, and it takes all your strength not to mourn out loud. The man sitting in front of you obviously enjoys his meal too, although his reactions are much more subtle. It’s rather a decent satisfaction in his face instead of the childish excitement that you feature.

And then, you have an idea. A stupid one, maybe, but it is your third date, so why not risk something?

You reach for his hand, careful, silently asking for permission. His skin is warm and soft, and you imagine that he takes good care since hands are a surgeon’s most precious instruments. And there it is again: the familiarity; the warmth that grows every time you look into his eyes. As if you’d been doing nothing else for your entire life.

He doesn’t stir. His eyes meet yours, frowning slightly, but he’s not retreating. Those eyes… they make you drown in them, like the endless cold of the ocean. You remember something that has never actually happened: you both lying next to each other, you stroking a strand of blonde hair behind his ear while staring into these exact eyes. It makes your stomach go crazy.

“Hm?” Chishiya hums questioningly, and you realize that you must have been staring at him intensely without saying a word for at least a minute.

It’s hilarious. You have only met this man a bit more than a week ago, and yet… yet if feels like you’ve known him for an eternity. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just…” you take a deep breath and decide to speak it out loud. “Ever since I met you, you’ve been like a very old friend. Someone who has been there for the majority of my life, and… holding your hand, I could swear that we did it a thousand times already. I know it’s ridiculous.”

“It is.”

But is it, really? What about these tales of soulmates, of lovers from previous lives who have met again? Chishiya doesn’t say so, but he squeezes your hand very quickly before releasing himself from your touch so he can return to his strawberries. It is gone so fast that you almost think it has been nothing but an imagination.

For a few minutes, you eat your crepes in silence. You rotate between both crepes but take care to eat all of the ice cream before it melts. It’s way too much for you to eat, of course, but you know they’ll give you the rest as takeaway.

The silence is not uncomfortable, though. Sure, you want to talk to him; want to hear his voice and learn more about him, maybe hold his hand again. Or even more. But there is no pressure to talk. Chishiya is here, and he won’t leave for another half an hour or so. And even then, you’re sure that you’ll meet again. For more crepes, and eventually for more closeness overall.

Remembering that there’ll be a family meeting later this day, you watch Chishiya’s features how he enjoys his strawberry crepe and wonder how it’d be to have him with you. It’s way too early for this of course, but you ask anyway: “What about we introduce you to my family soon?”

He chuckles and doesn’t even look up from his dessert. “We’re not there yet.”

“Yet?” You grin, and the tone in your voice causes his eyes to meet yours. “Does that mean we’ll be getting there someday?”

“Silly.” He shakes his head, but this time you can tell exactly that this is not what he’s actually saying. The shimmer of warmth in his eyes and the smirk on the edge of his lips is telling you all you need.

Not yet.

But you’re on a very good way to get there.

[maryoliverdotcom]

A Shade Darker Than Red: Chapter 7

Chapter 6.5, part 2

Two years went by and we had hardly any time left. A month, at best. And whose fault was it?

Some fancy college in Bhuvaneshwar.

“You’ll be able to apply for Oxford and Cambridge if you study here, mamoni,” Maa had told me six months ago. I couldn’t resist the offer.

With constant above average in both ICSE examinations and a track record full of fancy words (“prefect”, “head girl”, “captain”—that when cut down to its very marrow, meant being a slave to order), I realised this was probably the best chance I could get.

“Just imagine your life after this, after maybe even a PhD,” Maa murmured. It was almost like it was her dream I lived in, and not my (very real, unfortunately) life.

In a broader sense, though, I had it better than the others. Over the last couple of years, I had seen my closest friends succumb to tiny, white pills they named “drugs”—more like the pincers they use to cut your heartstrings out. I remembered empty parking lots, screams echoing off of the walls: except I could blame no one, not even Papa, this time. They were my screams, and they were my friends. Except sometimes. I confused the two.

Sometimes they were my friends’ screams, and sometimes they were mine. Sometimes the white cloth was draped over their heads, and sometimes over mine.

“Okay,” I told Maa. It was quite a dream, indeed. Mornings and nights spent doing what I loved. It felt a bit like getting back at those tiny pills, giving a silent nod to my friends. 

How cheesy, they’d have said.

Now, as I sat on the balcony, swinging my legs, Barandaye Roddur randomly blared from the dysfunctional speakers in my head. I hummed its tune, going quite off-key at some points.

“Renu?”

I continued tapping my fingers on the chair’s armrest. 

“Renu? Can I come in?”

I snapped out of my reverie. “Sorry, yeah, come on in!” I said, holding the door open. I’d recognise that voice anywhere.

“Paro, why do you have a penchant for randomly barging in at fucking five a.m?” I asked her, mildly annoyed. Well, I was supposed to be annoyed. Instead, I found myself grinning from ear to ear.

Paro shrugged nonchalantly, slipping into my chair. Sweat dripped from her hair and her arms seemed to have a slight tremor to them. Had she been practising bharatanatyam at five in the morning?

 “You don’t look too sad about it.”

“I don’t look too sad about it because I am merciful,” I said, holding back a chuckle. “You’re tired.”

Paro pouted. I wanted to lean down and kiss her lips, remove that pout. Holy shit, what the hell, Renu?

“D’you want some tea?” I asked, tearing my eyes away from her lips. Since when did she start wearing lip gloss?

Paro drummed her fingers along the armrest. “Sure.”

I walked into the kitchen, almost tripping over the ledge right outside the balcony. I set the kettle to boil. Maa was leaning against the kitchen counter, scrubbing the sink. I set the cup down on the counter and gently pried her hands away from the sink. “Let me do that for you, Maa.”

Maa stared at me, quirking her brow.

I huffed and rolled my eyes. “Just because I’m gonna go away next month,” I said. She continued to stare at me like I was a specimen she could dissect in her lab. 

“Come on, Maa, I’m not that useless!”

Maa shrugged and dropped the cloth at my side. “Is it just because Parvati is here?” she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

I furrowed my brows. “What?”

Maa shrugged again, trying her best to look nonchalant. “I mean, you two are quite the lovebirds. You sure you aren’t trying to impress her?” 

I felt heat rising in my cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Maa,” I said, getting to work. “Besides, even if I did want to impress her, I’d have done it long ago. How can you woo a girl in a month?”

Maa grinned. “You can,” she said simply. “I’ve done it before.”

The kettle whistled. I almost cursed out loud. “Okay,” I said, trying to look cool. “Okay. Okay.”

“Such a shame your father got in the way,” Maa continued as she twirled a strand of her own hair. I couldn’t help but smile. Life with two mothers would have surely been interesting.

“Hey, Renu!” Paro called from the balcony. “That kettle whistled twice, you know!”

“Right.” I flipped the switch off and poured the steaming hot water into Paro’s favourite cup. 

Maa nudged my shoulder. “If you really want to impress her, you aren’t doing an impressive job yet.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks, Maa.”

“Don’t roll those eyes at me. I’m off. Enjoy your alone time with Parvati.” Maa walked off to her bedroom, a cup of black tea in her hand. 

Stumbling awkwardly, I balanced two cups of tea on a tray and set it in front of Paro. “Both have two tablespoons of milk and a cube of sugar. Your choice,” I said. I already knew she was going to choose the cup with cherry blossoms and dragons engraved in its handle, but I preferred watching her face light up as she caught sight of her favourite cup.

Cups. They made up twenty percent of her day, and eighty percent of mine.

I sat down on the floor as she sipped her tea, trying not to stare at the way the sunlight illuminated her sharp eyes and the broken ridge of her nose.

“So,” I began, leaning against the wall. “What do you wanna talk about?”

Paro gave me a weird look. “Since when did we have committee meetings to decide what we want to talk about?”

“Since now?”

Paro sighed and tutted at me. She leaned forward in her chair, the cup making a clink! as she kept it on the tray. “I got you a book,” she said. “I’ll give it to you later.” Her fingers tapped on the armrest again. Was she nervous? Since when was she nervous with me? 

“A book,” I repeated. “Why? My birthday’s a month away.”

Paro nodded, her eyes downcast. “I know.”

I smirked, taking a sip of my tea. “Oh, so a birthday gift in advance?” I teased her. “Nah, that won’t do. You’ll have to get a plane and come visit me.”

Silence. 

Paro clenched her jaw. “It’s a compilation of Edgar Allan Poe’s works.”

“All of them?” I asked, my eyes widening.

She seemed to consider it. Her nose crinkles up when she thinks too much. “I think so,” she replied. “You’d know better.”

I beamed and leaned in to pinch her cheek. “You’re adorable.”

Paro’s eyes widened. 

“What? Like I’ve never called you cute before?” I demanded, flailing my arms in annoyance. “Why does everyone think today’s the only day I’m behaving decently?”

She shrugged. “Maybe it’s because you’re really happy today.”

“Of course I am,” I said, grinning. “I’m always happy. But I’m happier with you.”

Was it because everything was red, or did Paro actually blush?

“What’s—what’s your favourite poem of Poe?” Paro asked. Strange. She never stuttered, either. She was always the daughter of the rich businessman she was meant to be: head held high, a cold expression on her face. To others, anyway. I’d probably punch her in the stomach if she tried that on me.

“Are you trying to change the subject?”

“Probably.”

I chuckled, leaning against the wall again. “Tamerlane,” I replied. 

Paro raised a perfectly arched eyebrow to scrutinise me. “Do you have a favourite verse?”

“Oh, she was worthy of all love,” I began in a teasing voice, twirling my fingers dramatically. “Love, as in infancy as mine—’twas such an angel minds above might envy, her young heart the shrine on which my every hope and thought were incense—then a goodly gift, for they were childish—and upright—pure—as her young example taught.”

I paused, trying and failing to keep up my facade. “Why did I leave it, and, adrift, trust to the fire within, for light?”

I looked at Paro, smiling down at me. Had she been staring this whole time?

“Did you really memorise all that?” she laughed. It was a sound as beautiful as ever. In another life, I could have been Poe, and she might have been my muse.  Now, I was just a girl who wrote poetry no one ever saw, writing on and on about a goddess, Parvati, who had stolen her heart, body and soul; who laughed, danced, breathed just like someone I knew.

I shrugged. “I’ve got nothing better to do with my time,” I joked.

“No,” Paro shook her head. “I think it’s the best thing you could do with your time.”

I looked up at her, and broken lines of Poe rushed through my mind: jumbled up lines from different verses, making sense, incredulously, once put together.

We grew in age, and love, together—I saw no Heaven, but in her eyes—and she would mark the opening skies—and laughing at her girlish wiles, I’d throw me on her throbbing breast—there was no need to speak the rest—I had no being, but in thee—have you known the passion, father? 

“What are you thinking?” Paro asked.

The words were out of my mouth before I could check them. “That you were the muse Poe wrote of, and I was the poet begging forgiveness.”

Silence. Of course I had to go on and do that.

I stood up and took the tray. “Sorry, I’ll just—” Paro shushed me as she pulled me over, smoothening the creases in my shirt. 

I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to speak, only to feel her finger on my lips. “When I tell you to shut up, shut up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I mumbled.

“I love you, now go help Auntie with the table,” she said, jumping off the chair.

We’d said “I love you” to each other many times, ever since we had met in that park when we were five—so why did this feel any different?

“Love you too,” I murmured, walking into the kitchen, Paro close at my heels.

I almost tripped again.

@avani-amulya @manujanolavu @nirmohi-premika @lovesickpdf @arachneofthoughts @sonilaalbindi @desi-yearning @alhad-si-simran @thatpagalchokri @trashmeowcan @waitingforthesunrise @vellibandi @thesunandstarss @chanda-chamke-cham-cham @damnn-dorothea @the-unhinged-fanwinggg @watchingblsnowandforever @disproportionatelysculpting @bundle-of-glitter @bibliophile-dendrophile please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist <3

so sorry for being inactive, school's opened now and exam season is starting in a week or so T-T it's getting easier now, though, so i may post renu and paro's stories every weekend<3

[uncharismatic-fauna]

Hi everyone! Jack here.

First off, I want to say thank you so much for all your support. I go through my notes every day and read all your tags and comments, and I love that you’re enjoying what I do and appreciating these animals as much as I do. That’s exactly why I started this blog, and it’s great to know I’m doing what I set out to do.

As most of you probably know, I don’t often post about myself on here, to keep the focus on education and awareness. But whenever I have big news, I like to share it with you guys. And boy do I have some big news: I’m going to graduate school in Australia! I’ll be getting my Master’s Degree studying turtles-- specifically the eastern long-necked turtle (Chelodina longicollis). This is a big step forward for me, especially as my long-term goal is to get my PhD and continue doing what I love- educating others on the incredible world we live in- at a professional level.

Unfortunately, this leads me to the part I hate the most. Moving halfway around the world is going to be expensive, and while I’m trying to save up for the trip, it’s not easy living paycheck to paycheck. So if you like what I do, or you see a post that particularly inspires you, consider leaving a tip. Or, if you don’t trust Tumblr with your money, I set up a ko-fi where I also occasionally post some of the amateur photography I do in my free time. I intensely dislike having to openly ask for donations, as it detracts from what I value most: free education for all. But rest assured, that principle will remain the driving force of uncharismatic fauna, and so tips won’t ever be required- simply appreciated.

Lastly, I’m always looking for ways to improve this blog. If there’s an animal you’d like a spotlight on, or more posts of one kind of another, or simply questions you have about any species or ecological terms, please send them in! Uncharismatic fauna is for you, so I’d love to hear any and all suggestions!

Thanks again for your support! <3 Jack (And Cecil and Percy)

[potato-jem]

hello nero my beloved soulmate!! <33

i’m back and i am already suffering from severe PHD (post holiday depression, i decided it is a thing). my friend left last night and i hate this. it’s so unfair that we live in two different countries and we can’t see each other as much as we would like to. i’ll probably see her soon, i should have another week off in august and we were talking about me visiting her this time so hopefully i’ll be able to go.

anyway, on to the trip!! it was so cool!! i mean the first week we stayed in tuscany, we went around florence and a few other cities around here, and we got tattoos!!! i told you about this already but they are so cute!!! our little irish dinosaurs (they’re irish because we met in ireland <3 they’re named saoirse and niamh).

then for the second week we went to rome!! oh it was so nice!! we found the perfect weather. it was always sunny and warm enough to go around in shorts, but never too hot not to be able to explore. we went for the usual places: the colosseum, the pantheon, the squares and fountains, all that. but also we accidentally found ourselves into the roman forums and they were amazing!! i’d never been in them, only seen them from above, but they are so big, you can see a whole city. but the highlight was ostia antica. it was this archeological site near rome and it’s so quiet because not may people know it. it’s an 84 acres site where you can literally walk into houses and shops and temples and theaters from the roman period. and it’s amazing because usually rome is very protected, like there are fences and barriers everywhere, you can’t get too close to a lot of stuff, but in ostia antica we could literally touch the ruins, walk through them and find our way back in a maze of doors and corridors. it was so cool!!! also that’s where i found the cats!! they were so cute and friendly 🥺

last thing before i close this letter. the food!!! oh the food. we found this little restaurant on the very first night, which was actually so close to the trevi fountain, and it was so cheap and good (very rare combination to find in the middle of rome). they had some of the best spaghetti i’ve ever tried. also we kept going back there in the next days so they recognized us and they were so nice because they offered us appetizers and wine and they always remembered that we liked to order three plates of pasta to share between the two of us. they were so nice!!

i really needed this trip. i needed to be off work for a few weeks and just disconnect from all the drama and stress. and the good food and wine helped a lot with that lol. but seriously i’m so happy, it was an amazing trip and it was so good to see my friend again after so long <3

but enough about me now!! how are you doing nero?? what have you been doing these last two weeks??

also, about our last letter, i am very happy that you are following my orders and planning a very relaxing trip :) you deserve to not even think about uni when you’re on a trip. and it’s gonna be so fun to dance to that kind of music!! can’t wait to hear all about that one!!

and i’m very happy you’re obsessed with me getting tattoos because this is turning into a sickness. i can’t stop now :’)

but here are my other two tatts!!! the little rainbow one is very simple but very personal. i’ve been waiting forever to get it and it looks perfect 🥺 (yayyy you can start booking stuff!!! that means tattoos coming soon!!!)

i’m enclosing a hug and a really big plate of cacio e pepe (a kind of spaghetti with cheese and black pepper) just because one can never have too much pasta <3333

hi cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

i believe phd (post holiday depression) is a thing, i get it every time. it’s sad that your friend has gone home, but think about august!!! that should be so fun!!!

i’ve seen pictures of tuscany and it’s so beautiful!! and yes tattoos!! the fact that they are irish dinosaurs named saoirse and niamh because you met in ireland is the cutest story behind a matching tattoo ever 🥺🥺

oh rome!!!! that weather sounds lovely, i’m glad it was around for the entire trip!! sounds like you got up to quite a lot!! i’m literally imagining you walking around and pointing out these little tourist attractions 🥺 but ostia antica sounds so beautiful. a whole 84 acres to explore and experience the ancient roman life?? i would go crazy in there, especially with all the cats!!

oh the food sounds incredible!!! it’s so amazing you found something good and cheap!!! but those people sound so nice 🥹🥹 i’m glad they also added to such a wonderful break you had! i feel like pasta now…

you definitely needed that trip!! just a refresh is sometimes all you need, and good food and wine are recommended to help relax by doctors actually 😌😌😌 but i’m so happy you got to see your friend after so long and i’m so glad that you enjoyed yourself!!!!

i’ve been doing alright!! i had my trip to sydney and my twice concert, and it was so much more fun than i thought it would be!!! so i took my best friend and a family friend of mine, and my manager from work came too, but we all booked our concert tickets together so it was me and my friends, my manager and her brother and his partner. (don’t even ask me how stressful buying six tickets was)

the japanese place opened up again, and we were staying somewhere even closer to it. we basically walked everywhere, because the train station is in the shopping centre next to the japanese place, and that was only ten minutes away. so i took my friends to eat more ramen than we could see and we shared a bottle of soju (my friends are lightweights and it was VERY funny to watch. i had to finish the bottle off though)

and then we did lots of activities on the tuesday before the concert and we went to that album shop and book shop again and i spent way too much money, cece’s orders 😌😌 i spent so much money in the album shop they gave me a free album and preorder benefit photocards (which are really rare!!) and i had to show my id in the book store because i bought a level one restricted novel (actually banned in my state, but my professors made me too curious), which was quite funny

the twice concert was so fun, literally everyone in the audience were dancing and singing, and i was gay panicking and it was wonderful! each of the members of twice also had a solo performance and they did so well! one of them, momo, had this dance where she HAD A POLE?!?!? AND SHE HAD NEVER POLE DANCED BEFORE?? she was so good, i will save your eardrums by not sending the video i took 😌

anyways, here’s the photo they posted at the end!! we are in the centre and slightly to the right <3 (i’m sure you’ll see me 😂😂)

and then we actually got the chance to go to the harbour bridge and the opera house, which are in the same place, so we didn’t waste too much time there! and then we went to this room of claw machines near the eateries and i managed to win two things!! (one of them i spent way too much money to grab out, but he looked so lonely and i had to get my son out 😭😭) and then we had gelato mochi, which my friend found. so they get a scoop of ice cream and wrap it with mochi! we all got two, because none of us can make a decision and it really was a good end to the trip 🥺

other than that, i am running a little behind on uni, but i decided to use some of my leave and take the week off work. i’m just going to smash out the essays i have due (and overdue) and i’ll probably be able to rest better during the big exam session 😌

i’ve been looking forward to seeing these two and you didn’t disappoint! the rainbow one is adorable and the font for the script on your ribs is beautiful!!! i think i might be addicted to your tattoo addiction 😂 (yay!!! i’m so excited!!)

i really wanted this cacio e pepe, all this talking of food made me hungry! i’m squeezing you back real tight and i’m giving you a bowl of ramen <3333333

[qqueenofhades]

Although I decidedly do not need student loan forgiveness (my parents were able to pay for my entire college tuition so I didn’t have to take loans or even work during college, which should tell you all you need to know about my financial background) I stand in solidarity with y’all and I hope Biden comes through on this. I’d much rather my tax dollars go to loan forgiveness than blowing up people abroad.

In this case, it's not Biden we need to worry about; it is, and as ever, the fucking Supreme Court. If some asshole Republican AG sues the administration over this (which they will) and if it reaches the Supreme Court (which it might), then you can absolutely 100% guarantee that it will be struck down in a 6-3 decision along ideological lines. As I said before in all my other posts about this issue, that was the shortcoming with Biden doing this as an executive order (though I'm glad he did anyway). Of course the usual suspects are bitching and whining about how cancelling $10k outright ($20k for Pell Grant recipients, aka the poorest/low-income bracket of students) isn't enough and he should have just done it all, but the plan also contains major structural improvements that will have much longer-term ramifications apart from just outright cancellation, including:

As long as you're making payments (which can include $0 monthly payments if you're on an Income-Driven Repayment plan), NO INTEREST will be added to the principal balance of your loan. That is huge. I probably have at least 10K more in debt than I did when I graduated with my masters, because of the fucking interest. This is one of the things that make student loans so predatory: even if you pay the minimum amount, and if you pay it steadily, you just can't get out of debt because it keeps compounding and increasing. This means your balance will be frozen, and paying it down (even, again, if you don't actually pay anything!) will make a difference!

Full cancellation in 10 years if you've made qualifying payments (which again might be $0 if your income is low)! Also huge! People can spend DECADES paying, so capping it at only 10 years and then they're gone either way is major!

IDR plans are now capped at 5% of your discretionary monthly income, instead of 10%, which again goes a long way to making payments affordable.

If you made payments up/past March 2020 (the start of the first pandemic pause) you can actually get that money back!

Cancelling 20K in debt for the lowest earners/Pell Grantees is legitimately fucking game-changing, and will fully erase student debt for an estimated 20 million people, predominantly Black and Latino with no generational or family wealth to speak of. Even if I get 10k knocked off my student loans, I'll still have upward of 50K left over from my undergraduate/graduate degrees; I also have separate UK-based loans from my PhD which I have had to continue paying this whole time (even though Britain is literally on the verge of becoming a failed state due to economic collapse, but I digress). Of course I wish that I, personally, qualified for more forgiveness or that it would all go away. However, I absolutely recognize that this policy is going to help a lot of people who are considerably worse off than me (and I'm broke, so there you go).

Anyway, there's a lot of good stuff in this policy, and I expect further reform if the Democrats can hold/increase their Congressional majorities. But like I said, the problem isn't Biden; the problem is fucking SCOTUS. So let's see what happens.

[clare-with-no-i]

read chap 3-13 of theogeny this morning since i was free until 2pm (wanted to wait until it was complete before starting, and did 1-2 last night since i had some time). very nice story! the tone and style of your writing feels totally professional (and honestly surpasses many published authors i’ve read LOL). however, i was especially blown away by all of the historical details about ancient athens & greece. i’m as close to the opposite of an expert on the time period as possible, thus am not fully convinced this isn’t based on a true story where you got sent back in time, but then chose to come back to the present afterwards. were there any sources you leaned particularly heavily on? even my own experience writing a gen-ed history paper about the original Olympic games during my undergrad felt about as straightforward as navigating a swamp of hopelessly entangled, greek-speaking, arguing jellyfish, what with all the completely speculative secondary sources and glaring holes in the firsthand accounts of the events.

i’ve been away from the depths of the hp fandom scene for a year or two, but my recollection of your blog was that you’re a law student? given that law ≠ classical greek history (as far as i know), i’d say the fact that you specifically researched all of this for the story makes it even more captivating. (although the attention to detail does also align exactly with the depth of case-research i’d assume is possessed by the top-tier, most competent lawyers, though that is purely speculation). but if your real answer is the time travel thing, just blink twice and cite wikipedia or whatever ;)

also, i’m curious how realistic it is for a classics scholar to know enough ancient greek that she can carry even a stilted conversation with native speakers. if so, i find it mind-blowing that such depth of knowledge of a dead language is wrapped up into a subset of a history PhD—makes my own discipline seem like 3rd grade times tables.

LOL thank you so much! this is such a wonderful, detailed review! I can safely say that I have not traveled back to ancient Athens, but if there's any way I can visit for about a day and then return to the modern era please LMK…

so: I tended to use a lot of sources from Google Scholar, JStor, my own university's online library, what have you; there are a few times I went back and read through my old Classical Civilizations lecture notes, but I only ever took an intro class so I wasn't exactly delving into the minutiae. many of the sources are listed in the end notes, but I have an entire bookmarks folder (which I should probably delete) that looks like this lol

of course, I had to suspend my disbelief and expect/hope the reader would suspend their disbelief at the things that I just couldn't really know; but that was my moment for artistic liberty, which I used a lot of let me tell you.

and yes! I'm a second year law student. but I started this story when I was still applying to law schools :") I have worked as an archival and online research assistant/hired researcher/research fellow since I was 19 in my undergrad days, so I've become very familiar with the process of sifting through online archives. I also just really enjoy it! I love learning about areas of history I don't know a lot about, so this was just such a perfect passion project.

so — in terms of speaking Ancient Greek, I think it's absolutely possible that students at the PhD level would be able to communicate, given that many programs have really robust Greek language curricula. however, and this is something I touched on in the early chapters and something I researched to the best of my ability, the way that academic accents from non-Greek native speakers (aka, modern Greek people) sound is very different in pronunciation and would likely sound strange and unnatural to someone in Ancient Greece; such is the nature of language development. so, I think would have been pretty much like any non-fluent language speaker being thrown into an immersive program with no preparation.

I'm not here for any discipline ribbing, though! I'm sure whatever it is you study is just as challenging and engaging as Lily's field :)

[holding-hands-and-hearts]

It Was Tuesday

content warning: talk of suicide / suicidal ideation.

They called to tell me you tried to kill yourself on a Tuesday. 

It was so late at night it was long into Wednesday, but for me it was still Tuesday evening, in the way that insomniacs’ schedules simply shift everything a few hours forward and noon is at 6pm. I did the math on the drive over, adding up the hours until the time I picked up the phone. I knew how you’d have done it but couldn’t say who’d found you, and the ambulance was usually pretty quick but the hospital receptionists don’t call until they know whether to give their deepest condolences or just tell you you’d better come in. 

It was the phrase they used that got me, I think. Attempted to take your own life. So casual, like you could just pick it up and walk away with it, and you’d just dropped it somewhere along the way. How is it to hold a life in your hands? Does it squirm between your palms? Or is it docile enough that you can just watch it for a while, trace the pits and scars and broken parts until something tells you that you may as well just trash the whole thing?

They called on a Tuesday, and I was sitting at the kitchen counter doing taxes when the phone rang, my dirty dishes stacked somewhere beyond my W-2. They called me by both names, and I was oddly touched that you’d had me as your emergency contact since before everyone else started saying “doctor” when they addressed me. I can’t believe I still don’t know what I’m doing, I told you after the piece of paper came in the mail, but what’s a PhD supposed to do about that? Turns out education doesn’t exempt you from real life. The doctorate doesn’t do the dishes, and I don’t know why in the world I bothered in the first place. 

Then they told me the ambulance had brought you in unresponsive, said the trauma care team is still working, and I think my brilliant response was “oh”, like I knew what all of that meant beyond the fact that you weren’t dead yet. They said the working assumption was that you’d tried to take your own life, that bizarre little phrase, like the trauma team was trying to pry it back from you as if you were a child trying to hold something you shouldn’t. It wasn’t too far from the truth, probably. 

I should come as soon as possible, they said, and then there was a pause on the other end of the line, and whoever it was staffing the phones at God-knows-what hour the Tuesday night you tried to die asked me if all of that made sense. I burst out laughing. 

I still picture them on the other end of the line, behind some circulation desk in some lobby, holding the receiver a few extra inches away from their ear; they saw someone’s kid in tears because they had to get a flu shot today, an empty-eyed daughter signing her dad’s postmortem, a repeat patient coming to chemo in a ball gown, and now I’m laughing because you’re nearly dead in the next room. It wasn’t until my sides ached and my lungs burned and I’d knocked my W-2 and half the stack of receipts off of the counter that I stopped, and my voice was practically a croak when I said “I’ll be there.”

Nothing’s sure but death and taxes, and it looks like we’re both just doing our best to be certain. 

*******

Do you remember that time you stayed awake with me? I was doing my dissertation, I was always doing that nightmare of a dissertation, determined to pull an all-nighter so I could tell myself I’d done something. You sat in the hard-back kitchen chair two feet away, watching Disney movies and reaching over to squeeze my hand when I stopped typing. Your fingers were warm. 

By four-thirty in the morning you’d finished the Emperor’s New Groove and Tangled and gone most of the way through Wall-E, and I was hungry and cold and hadn’t written eight thousand words in eight hours like I said I would, so you put the cinnamon rolls I’d been saving for an unspecified special occasion in the oven and held a butter knife full of fake cream cheese frosting in front of my nose. I gave up on the dissertation.

I didn’t have a couch, but the sheet set had come with an extra duvet I didn’t need in the spring and my next-door neighbor was a live-laugh-love fanatic who gave away throw pillows like party favors at the end of every season, so we grabbed oven mitts and forks and sat down to eat warm cinnamon rolls straight from the pan. The sun was rising outside my window and the woolen March clouds were positively dreary, but I tangled our ankles together, you laughed when I got cinnamon goop on the end of my nose, and you were so bright and beautiful in the early morning light that I forgot about anything else. 

It was nearly the same time in the morning when I started pacing in the waiting room. The doctors would all come to talk to people who weren’t me, and the tearstained faces of the others who’d waited overnight disappeared one by one, and slowly I was convinced I’d dreamed it. I still smelled cinnamon when I thought of you. I saw the outline of your face in the early morning light, warm hands and sticky fingers on the floor of my stupid apartment, and I remembered thinking so clearly how you were the most beautiful human being I’d ever seen. 

How in the world did you end up here?

I didn’t think anyone could be angry at someone suicidal, but all of a sudden I’m pissed at you, walking so furiously I’ll wear a hole in the stupid industrial carpet. There’s a lady in one of the chairs who looks like she’s lived there for at least the past week, gives me a dirty look as I go by for the six millionth time and I don’t care. They called me on a Tuesday night to tell me you had tried to kill yourself and here I am, so royally furious I want to shake you by the shoulders until you understand how much I hate that you didn’t call me first.

*******

Someone comes to tell me you’re alive when I’m already halfway done planning the funeral. I have this mental image of you upstairs eating Jell-O, and it’s not really you, but I’d take it. The other part of me already knows exactly what you’d look like lying in a morgue, and the dead feeling in the pit of my stomach tells me that that one’s more right. I know you’d hate a church memorial, don’t worry. I know you better than that. 

It’s Wednesday, no longer the morning, just Wednesday, and I ask if you’re okay. They don’t seem to know what to tell me. Visitors aren’t allowed yet, but the cafeteria’s open. 

“Okay,” I say. And I sit. I’m still angry at you. 

When you get out of here, we’re going to make cinnamon rolls. It’ll be sunrise, and maybe the weather’s terrible, and I still don’t have a couch, but I can’t do it without you. I can’t imagine any of this without you. 

*******

[humming-pokemon-helpers]

How about 1:Do you have a pokemon evolution story? tell it! and 2: Whats the story behind your pokemons name?

Also just, keep up they great work!

Thanks for asking, and for the praise; it’s always nice to see fellow Galar gym challengers around! (How long ago was your challenge, out of curiosity?)

If we’re talking about evolution stories (sorry, it’s a bit long), I’d have to say Chiru, my Altaria, takes the cake. At the time we met, I was doing both the Paldean Gym Challenge and my combined bachelors’-PhD program, so you can imagine I was pretty damn busy.

Chiru helped with a lot of that—he wasn’t only a good battler, but he was great at cleaning up around my dorm, so I relied on him a lot.

But eventually everything just piled up too much—too many assignments, the training schedule I had was too rough, and all of my Pokémon needed more care than I could handle giving. Luckily one of my classmates was kind enough to hold on to most of my partners until I was feeling better, except for Wolfgang and Chiru. Poor Chiru was besides himself trying to help out while I was stuck in my dorm doing nothing but work and sleep: he probably cleaned the place five times over each day. Until one day, when I could barely get out of bed, Chiru flew to my side, started glowing with a brilliant light, and evolved into Altaria. He started singing some really silly songs right after that, and didn’t quit until I dragged myself to the dining hall for food and took a shower. I honestly think he evolved just to cheer me up, and I think it shows how there really couldn’t be a better therapy Pokémon for me.

As for the names: Ringogo, my Appletun, is a funny one. I was a pretty big fan of Kantonian culture at the time, so I knew I wanted to use their word for apple, “ringo”, somewhere in there. But then he just started rolling away at light speed, and, well… Ringogo it was!

[francesderwent]

imissthembutitwasntadisaster said: Wait you got hit by a truck? Did I miss the Cate Lore? Babes when did this happen please elaborate

I searched the annals of my blog but I can’t find a time I told the whole story?? doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, but ah well.

it was December, in the year 2017. I had just finished my first semester of PhD school, and was going to leave the big city the next day to go home for Christmas break. I had probably written something like fifty pages worth of academic papers that week, and I was pretty sleep-deprived, but it was my turn to make dinner for my roommates one more time before we all went our separate ways for the holiday. at this point in my life, I was not in possession of a car, so I walked for twenty minutes or so to the local family-owned grocery story, bought the ingredients for fajitas, and started to walk back. “started” being the key term here.

there was a particular intersection I crossed every single day, any time I had to get anywhere. I think it was a four-lane road crossing another four-lane road, but I can’t remember now. anyway, it was right next to the metro stop, and every time people got off the train a whole crowd would jaywalk across the road without waiting for the light. and I, being a despicable goody-two-shoes, never did that. I would wait nicely for the light to change and the little pedestrian light to turn on, and then I would cross in the crosswalk.

on this particular day, I waited at the curb with my two very heavy bags of groceries, and when the light changed I stepped into the crosswalk, as per usual. it was not at this point that I was hit, because then it would be my fault for not checking to see if anyone was coming before I stepped into the crosswalk. no, I was at least eight steps into the crosswalk. at this point in the story I’d like to introduce a new character: a blue pick-up truck. the driver of said blue pick-up truck had been planning to make a right turn on a red light, and had been looking up ahead to the left to check for oncoming traffic. he was not, as it turns out, looking up ahead to check for four-foot-ten graduate students whose groceries weighed more than she did. I believe the driver saw me right before impact, and braked. I had also noticed the truck, just in time to know it was definitely going to hit me and there was nothing I could do.

the grille of the truck hit me in the vicinity of my left hip and knocked my feet out from under me. I landed face-first, caught myself on my hands and arms, and then bounced/slid/flew another twelve feet or so backwards. (I never had any bruising on my knees, so I can only assume I caught myself on my toes like the winter soldier.) I was fairly certain I was going to be run over by any, if not many of the cars waiting for the light, but when I looked up I just saw a row of drivers looking at me in horror with their mouths open. “alright,” I thought, “they see me. I might not be about to die.” nobody made a move to do anything or came rushing out to help me. the driver of the blue pick-up truck got out, and was looking dazedly one of my grocery bags, which was under his car. I waited for him to say something. he said, “I’ve completely crushed your groceries.” “that,” I said coldly, “is not really what I’m concerned about right now.” “no,” he said, “of course not.” seeing that I wasn’t going to get any sense out of him, I picked myself up and went and sat myself down on the curb and called my roommate. she was making candles or lemon curd or something for Christmas presents, and didn’t answer. the driver of the blue pick-up had pulled his truck over to the side of the road and was now hovering over me nervously. his all-too-clear shock was beginning to be funny. I offered my hand to shake, and introduced myself. he said his name was Bob. “You couldn’t have done this last week when I had finals, Bob?” I said. Bob did not think this was funny, and seemed to think he had really knocked something loose in my brain.

I examined myself for injuries. I had some road rash, and some pebbles in my arms. I picked them out. my roommate had not called back, and I was starting to contemplate just walking the rest of the way home. Bob did not think this was a good idea. just when I was about to start my trek, my roommate called back. “I was hit by a car,” I told her. “WHAT?” she said. I told her where I was, and a minute later she came screeching up in her car, got out, slammed her door, and stalked up to Bob demanding, “What happened?” my roommate is tall, and full of the intimidating confidence that comes from being the only girl in the PhD program while she was in classes, and she lifts weights. Bob cowered. I sat back and let her berate him. when he had cringingly handed over his insurance information, my roommate and I got into her car. “How do you feel?” she asked me. “Like I’ve been hit by a car,” I said. we both laughed. “I’m gonna stress-cry now,” I said, and promptly did so.

“I bet Specific Other Roommate cries,” my roommate said, after we’d gotten home and she’d called one of her doctor friends on speakerphone, and also the police. “She wasn’t even there, and I’m fine,” I said. Specific Other Roommate, when she got home from work and was told what had happened, first screamed, and then cried. I did not make fajitas. we ordered Greek food, and ate it while watching Guardians of the Galaxy 2, which I had never seen before. 

I bruised extensively, and was extremely stiff for about a week. my road rash was not fun. I did not go to the doctor. I did tell the story all throughout Christmas when I would normally have been trying to make doctoral studies sound interesting and approachable. I did manage to get out of doing any chores while I was home for the holidays. and I did act as bridesmaid and cantor for a friend’s wedding while I was still visibly bruised and abraded.

and that, my dear, is the lore.