#I'm trying to be considerate but I am definitely not an expert so don't take it too seriously

[basket-of-loquats]

do you have any tips for drawing people? if not that okay! :D

oh geez i am far from an expert!! I feel like every time anyone asks me for drawing advice i always just say "look at reference pics and practice" but like it's so true... im entirely self taught so reference pics are the only sort of thing ive ever relied on, idk any fancy techniques or proportions or anything!! i'll try to think of something less basic tho fjhdasgjfasgh

tip 1: understand the flow and keep it loose! i personally get trapped in the nitty gritty details so easily so one thing im trying to practice is to keep sketches loose and flowy! otherwise the pose will look stiff and unnatural.

these were my sketching steps for my most recent namseok piece. as you can see the first one is the barest of the bare, literally just me trying to understand what the flow of the characters might look like. the next sketch works to retain that flow while still fleshing out the actual forms! i changed namjoon's flow considerably which is all part of the process of not taking anything too seriously and not being afraid to change things up.

tip 2: anatomy!! you don't Always have to draw the anatomy beneath clothes tbh depending on what you're going far or what clothes you're drawing BUT in this case with these unfamiliar poses and form-clinging clothes i knew i had to trace out some anatomy beforehand! obviously neither of them are that accurate, firstly because i didn't have a ref pic for them bc this was just a sketch piece that i wasn't letting myself get too serious about, and secondly because again this Is just one sketch layer and so i'm still not getting too bogged down in details! things like hands i still kept loose and open, while things like eh,,, legs and feet,,, you can see i struggled with more to keep that loose vibe. i'll practice more :))) in any case knowing the anatomy of a form is essential to drawing anything, but humans especially!!! before you dress them up make sure the parts all look right lol

tip 3: don't be afraid to experiment! human bodies can do some weird poses and things that you might think would look unnatural might actually work! I find this is super true with things like hands.

neither of their poses are super common or natural or things you'd see a human do irl but they still came out okay! again i didn't have a ref for this piece so it was definitely experimental and i had to draw their poses a couple times to get that flow down right, esp namjoon who has a relatively stiff pose but i still wanted it to look light and floaty! Namjoon's right hand is also in a pose that doesn't come very naturally and might not be accurate to what his hand would Actually be doing in this pose but it still looks good and was more fun to draw!

here's another example of this sort of "go with the flow" mindset! i didn't have a ref for this one either but after lots of experimenting with hoseok's hands placements i found this flowy maybe less than accurate one that i really liked!

idk if any of this makes sense or is helpful but they're just thinks i'm actively trying to keep in mind these days when i draw humans. thanks for the ask!

[vizthedatum]

Being free and open, even at considerable risk of being socially shamed (but what else is new?)

It's been a relief to blog and be more present/honest in therapy... but also in all sectors of my life. --

I used to try to blog about my life in middle school and high school, but because I was holding on to so many family secrets (including my own childhood abuse) and closeted thoughts (I knew I was queer from an early age)... and also autistic masking... I could not be as open or even as vocal/descriptive. As a child, I was incredibly depressed and suicidal (my parents did not take me to get help even when I requested it until my high school forced them to take me in my senior year), so my peers would get scared and report me to high school counselors. I was underage - trying to openly talk about mental health, my identity exploration, my thoughts on my culture, sexuality, etc. It was tough to do openly. I often did so in private spaces, where I put myself at risk for abuse.

--

Historically, It has been hard for me to ask questions or be open with my thoughts. Not being able to ask questions definitely hindered my scientific training, but I pushed through somehow? There were so many times when I thought I'd fail... I'd simply scrape by. Many people have thought my thoughts were silly. And worse, I thought my thoughts were silly. Even though I know now that EVEN IF my thoughts are silly, expressing my thoughts is part of how I process the world around me... and my thoughts are not facts written in stone. --

When I started my PhD program and then met my ex-spouse... I honestly thought it could all change. I was so prolific with my Twitter account with my thoughts on my academic field of study - it was so freeing. I could write and present my scientific musings in educational settings - what a fantastic feeling. I could philosophically debate with my peers. And the more I became an expert, I was able to mentor and teach... and be opinionated! And I was and am respected for it.

But... I was still limited. I felt like I had to stay in the confines of what was socially and/or scientifically accepted.

I am changing that now. I'm talking with like-minded scientists about my thoughts, especially the ones I've researched and have experience in. I am not close-minded... and I want to grow. And I want to change things. I think I will somehow and someday. (For example, I want to add to the movement of changing gender and sex designations in collecting clinical healthcare data... among other things!) -- And I honestly thought I could explore my gender, neurodivergence, and poly-tendencies with my ex-spouse. I thought we could do anything together. I thought we could grow together. I thought we would be together for this whole entire lifetime. I will be in pain about that loss for a while. And while I feel myself growing from that experience and finding myself again... that pain and also the love from our relationship will never diminish from who I am. I am simply growing around it. Becoming more expansive. I am more than how people have treated me. I am not crazy or unreliable because I have strong feelings about things... and I'm not crazy for how I am, even if people don't understand autism or PTSD or being chronically ill. -- More on all this, in the years to come... but as I fight through my trauma recovery and several moments of extreme depression... it has given me life and motivation to be able to share what I think, both in professional and personal settings.

It has helped me feel more human, connected to others, and integrated within myself. And thus, it has helped me feel less suicidal and less dissociated... I no longer want to burn myself out by being "resilient by masking or dissociating" to survive.

My survival hinges upon my healing, which is about being authentic and sharing who I am, my creations, and my various stories of how I lead this life.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

The only two cents I will be giving about the trigger warning discussion is that taking any ideia to the extreme is not good. What I mean by that is that simply being pro or con the use of warnings, without taking context and other nuances in consideration can be dangerous.

Being completely against trigger warnings and simply disregarding the effect of what you put online can have on others, is just being irresponsible and causing a lot of unnecessary stress for others that happen to be wondering online. On the other side, trying to be overly wary of everything and anything that could possibly trigger or even cause the slightest bit of unrest to someone is, honestly, near impossible - the variety of things peoples fears and traumas can relate to are infinite, and no one could possibly dodge mentioning all of them.

I am not saying that your arguments are in favor of one of those extreme (you have been relatively moderate in your responses). It is however important to remind ourselves to not be so black and white when dealing with those matters, cause when we start reproducing a set idea on automatic, without giving some thought to context, that's when we make the most damage.

I also am aware that you work in the medical field, and so you are probably way more desensitized to bodily fluids and gore-ish elements in general (it comes with the job, that's normal). When something becomes comum on our day to day it can be difficult to remember how much the mere mention or display of an image with it can affect others. I deal with suicide, child abuse and sexual violence on a daily and constantly have to remind myself that despite the fact that me and my coworkers talk about those things unceremoniously (because we have to) among ourselves, for a lot of people those things are taboo, nearly unspeakable, and can be very triggering.

You most probably had no ill intentions, and some of the points you made in your responses make a lot of sense. I am not nagging at you or anything like that. But I also do agree that blood is a fairly common trigger, and maybe in this case it would be better to put a warning or switching the picture for something more campy where blood doesn't look like blood at all (like in 1977's Suspiria where the blood is straight up pink).

Don't stress too much about it, please.

~♡anon

Thank you for giving your two cents babe. It's always appreciated when an expert on the topic gives their thoughts.

As I have said I definitely understand the use of trigger warnings for specific things, and while yes I work in trauma and see horrific things all the time, I'm perfectly aware that things like bones breaking out of your skin or splattered brains aren't something the average person would be okay with seeing and if my picture had been graphic in an even much lesser extent than this, I would’ve put it under the cut from the start.

Again I understand blood itself is triggering to some but I believe it falls under the umbrella of such things like spiders, snakes, etc. Things that could potentially be triggering to a subset of people, but in of themselves they aren't distributing.

Anyway I will probably include a "tw blood" in the future for such images so it could be filtered out for people but those are my opinions on the topic.

[thegyusorcerer]

hi, im writing an essay about the aroace experience and i was wondering if you could name some of your favorite things, or just some good things idrk about being aroace? im aroace myself but im having brain fog and cant come up with anything other than having more appreciation for platonic relationships than others may realize lol

omg that sounds amazing! I'd love to name a couple of things I love about being aroace, thank you so much for sending this 🤭🧡 (& hopefully I'm not answering this too late, I've been on a family trip so I'm sorry 😭). I'll try to name as much as I can think of during this 45 minute road trip HAHAHA

Take into consideration all of these are from a romance and sex indifferent, aromantic asexual perspective (meaning that I don't really want nor desire romance or sex for myself, but I'm not repulsed by either. Just indifferent).

Favorite Things About Being AroAce 💚💜

1. Definitely appreciating and nurturing platonic relationships more than others do. Romance isn't part of my life which means that my emotional and affectionate needs are usually fulfilled through my platonic connections and found family. I've had the privilege of finding my people and I couldn't be more grateful for that 🥺💞.

2. imo, giving excellent relationship advice to my friends who need it bc I am able to see things from a more objective and rational perspective. I've been told I give great advice so I have proof for that one 😉

3. Not feeling guilty for saying "no." If someone asks me out, there's a big probability I don't like them back (bc of the whole aromantic thing you know) so I politely reject them and don't feel guilty about it bc I just can't reciprocate that feeling: I'm not being rude. I'm just being me 💚. Plus I'm saving them from a bad relationship bc I just can't do it. Romance isn't for me.

4. Appreciating beauty. Maybe is their eye color, haircut, height, curves, face angles, fashion style; just gorgeous. You can acknowledge someone is attractive without being attracted to them. Men, women (ofc this includes trans people too), non-binary people; just anyone who's pretty, you get to acknowledge that and know it's purely aesthetic 😏.

5. Picturing a future where I'm happy and fulfilled even if it doesn't fit the norms 🥺❤. I know that I won't have a romantic love story and I've made peace with that. Rather, I can view a future where I am learning, growing and having fun with friends, meeting new people and experiencing life the way I want. I can dedicate my life to my passions (music, literature, travel around the world and visit those places I've always dreamed of going to, become an expert on topics I love); all in all, a future that makes ME happy. 💫

Hope this has been helpful, xoxo.

[doberbutts]

Honestly I am of the opinion that spaying and neutering should be done more often for dogs and cats, but...honestly I'm glad I followed you because you've opened my mind to a lot more ways of being a good pet owner. I've got a lot more nuanced of an opinion now, thanks to you. It's a surgery that isn't always strictly necessary and it's not the mark of a bad pet owner to have an intact animal.

Just from my own experience, I do think that most people with dogs aren't in a position to have an intact animal responsibly, either because they don't provide their dogs with the proper training or because their dog has specific behavioral/health issues that make castration beneficial, but...

I mean, seeing a good dog owner/trainer who has intact animals and cares for those animals properly has really opened my eyes to the fact that it's important to have a specific need for any surgery to address, and non-surgical intervention to address that need is usually the preferred route due to the dangers inherent in any surgical procedure.

At the same time, most vets I talked/listened to are under the stress of trying to make sure they can prevent unwanted outcomes - surprise litters, certain cancers, behavioral problems* - when so many of their clients aren't responsible enough to care for their animals properly. So the need isn't entirely just preventing unwated litters, but heading potential problems off at the pass due to irrespinsible owners, so the animals are less likely to suffer.

* You'd know more than me about dogs so I won't even try to act like I'm an expert on them, but for cats and guinea pigs, at least, the males do exhibit significant behavioral changes on the whole, acting calmer and less territorial/aggressive. It's obviously not the same for every individual, and there are significant risks especially for small mammals, but on the whole (I'll try to find some studies, I promise I'm not just spewing propaganda!!) that is the overall pattern. Then we take a step back and realize that, even if most of these issues respond positively to non-surgical options like specific training or a changed environment, most people...I don't exactly trust to be able to do that. I don't think most people are equipped to handle it. And we can argue whether or not they should have an animal, but since they do, I can definitely see why vets are pushing for castration to be a mandatory procedure. But at the same time, thanks to you, I'm seeing the other side to this, which is that we should be celebrating the responsible owners who are willing and able to address their pets' needs non-surgically, and for whom castration really is an elective procedure (aside from, obviously, when it is needed due to health concerns).

Oh, yes, and I'm not like, aggressively anti-neuter or anything either. If the cancer had been testicular or prostate cancer, CHOP THOSE SUCKERS OFF GOODBYE- but if they're not causing a problem? Then what's the reason to put a healthy animal through surgery? And what's the reason to put a dying animal through surgery he doesn't need?

At this point I only have females. And intact bitches are at risk for pyometra, especially as they age. All of my girls will eventually be spayed by 5 or 6 years old. Tater will likely be first as she already has a neurological problem and cannot be bred or shown anyway, and as long as the vet doesn't think she'll have a bad reaction with her special needs and her considerably small size then I have no problem doing it sometime after finishing up with the house buying. Fae and Sushi are show dogs and may be bred by their breeders eventually so they cannot be spayed currently. That decision is out of my hands- I have no interest in breeding dogs myself.

And other animals do show significant changes (although, personally, my opinion is that if you cannot deal with an intact animal's behavior, then you should not have the animal, as surgery should be a last resort to solving trainable concerns) to behavior and health and that shouldn't be disregarded as well. I just don't think the majority of them are necessary for dogs, because dogs are highly trainable.

And like... having had an intact dog around intact bitches in heat that he was definitely interested in... it's truly not that hard to keep them from breeding. Negligence or factors outside of your control (housemates letting them out together, someone employed to watch them NOT watching them, etc) are really the only reasons for an oops litter, and even then I have a hard time justifying it with how easy it was to keep Creed away from my girls when they were interested in breeding.

My future cats will be neutered before they go home as per contract with their breeder, which again is fine with me because I have zero interest in breeding cats. I don't buy dogs on neuter contracts. I prefer to make that decision on a case-by-case basis myself.

[meichenxi]

Hi!! I'm a college student about to graduate and my dream is to teach English in China and I was wondering if you could somehow help me and give me some advice. I have been studying Chinese during my years at university (and I love your blog!), along with my physics degree. I don't know if any of this is relevant but my level of Mandarin is not very high (HSK3), I study in the UK and I'm planning to get a TEFL 120 hour certification in June. Is this a solid plan? Love your blog, Isa

Hiii! Sorry it took me so long to get to this, I have my final exams at the moment and am on semi-hiatus. First, what an amazing dream!! You'll have a wonderful time :D

SO in general having a degree not in English language and a TEFL certificate is most definitely enough to secure you a job, but at the moment it is a rather 'special period', as every job advert says, and so finding a job is a little trickier because of visa problems.

Basically, there are no work or study visas available at the moment for people from the UK. The only people who can get into China are those who the Chinese Embassy deems 'foreign experts' and therefore 'crucial to China's progress', and your company or school will have to provide something called a PU letter. This grants you the ability to actually apply for the work visa, though itself doesn't grant it. At the moment there aren't that many companies available who can offer that.

Because of this, I'd recommend going through a recruitment company. I do not necessarily mean a graduate scheme (the ones advertised as such are not very well paid and you don't have much control over where you go), but a recruitment company. You can find these on any general site if you google 'ESL jobs China'.

In terms of actual jobs - generally speaking there are three categories, private language schools, state schools, and international schools. International schools are by far the best in terms of packages, but they rarely take graduates without 3 years of teaching experience. The good news is that if you do find somebody who is looking for recent grads (if you go to a particularly prestigious university like Oxbridge, for instance), you might be able to teach Physics or Science rather than English language. International schools will also be the easiest to deal with in terms of communication and visa applications, but the competition is quite stiff, and most people who apply will be teachers in their home countries already.

State schools are another good option if you want 'normal' teaching hours, good holidays, and older children. The position I have next year is in a good state school that has two programs, the Canadian curriculum and the GaoKao (the Chinese university entrance exam). The main disadvantage is that you may be the only foreigner in the school, and communication might be difficult. I don't just mean with Chinese but in general: you will be not told things, you will be excluded, you will turn up to your class and find someone else teaching it and be told just to go back to your office. If you can be flexible and have an open mind, state schools are great, but they may be quite exhausting especially if this is your first time in China. You will also have to teach to exams, and the curriculum might be tight. For me personally though, I would much rather teach in a state school than the next option -

Which is private language schools. These are very good - sometimes. This is the main problem: the quality of the schools, the teaching, and the ethos all vary from school to school. You may be teaching very young children, and you may be teaching exclusively in the evening. The schools may be very supportive of creativity in the classroom, or you may be literally forced to teach the flashcards they give you. The plus about these schools is that they often have competitive relocation packages, are not too bothered about how experienced (or not) you are, and that there will be a community of other English speaking colleagues (natives and not) to help you integrate.

The reason I add this is that it's so, so important. It's very laudable and easy to wish for immersion and want to make Chinese friends - and you should!! - but living in another country without easy access to internet you are used to can be exhausting at times and even the staunchest believer in immersion is going to be stressed and tired and teary far from home. Having colleagues who want to improve their English can also be a good basis for a (somewhat awkward at first) friendship.

Some general tips: brush up on your English grammar. Seriously. Because the amount of teachers who have no idea and bluff their way through it is shocking and disrespects those who try very hard to make it a proper profession. Also having students ask you when you use the present perfect continuous and the present perfect simple and not knowing the answer is a very special kind of pain!! I'd recommend bringing a reputable grammar book with you, and using it when making your lesson plans.

Re Chinese: if you already have a little, your Chinese will improve so much when you're there!! Don't stress about it because China is a wonderful environment for learning - it's literally perfect, few people speak English and EVERYBODY wants to speak to you as many people are direct and very curious - but at the same time, the more you can learn, the easier it will be. Don't neglect your characters!! Learning useful menu characters and signs will be hugely helpful too. You won't need Chinese in your job really, but you definitely will in your daily life, so well done for learning and keep at it!!

The other thing I would say is: sort out your music and your social media and your banking before going to China. This includes a good VPN. You can't download apps on the google App Store, and to make the transition to the Chinese internet easier, I'd recommend getting a Weibo account, any music app, Baidu translate and maps and so on, and accustoming yourself to that before going.

Re where you are going and the package: you should have your flight paid, help with your visa, and transparency about quarantine procedures. You should also have accommodation or an accommodation allowance of between 2000-5000 (2000 is more than fine). Public or international schools may pay for your food during school-time as well. Re cities: prioritise what is important to you. If you want to save, bear in mind that China is extraordinarily cheap and that even in places like Shanghai, you can still save a lot if you live somewhat sensibly. To give you some context: I lived in Tianjin, a second-tier city, and I got 'pocket money' of 2000 every month (with accommodation and food paid), and I managed to save enough to do martial arts for a month at an academy after 5 months. And I was living well - going out about twice a week, taking taxis, eating out almost every evening (cheap food). So don't prioritise one position over another solely because of money, and also bear in mind kindergarten teachers may only be getting about 2000-3000 a month - so regardless of whether you earn 10,000 or 15,000, it's a) SIGNIFICANTLY enough to live very well and save very well too, and b) considerably more than many of your coworkers will be earning.

Also, different cities have different costs of living: 10,000 somewhere like Hangzhou will go considerably further than 16,000 in Shanghai. Another thing to bear in mind is the air quality, and the environment, and the access to green spaces. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THIS. If this is important to you, go somewhere smaller or in the south with access to nature - I nearly went crazy living in such a big city with such poor air quality. The positions I had to choose between were one in Shanghai, better paid and at a better school, and a position in Zhuhai in a campus in the mountains, in a third-tier city by the sea. I know now how important green is to me, how much I prefer a more relaxed pace of life, and so I chose the latter.

Lastly, don't be intimidating and don't be afraid to ask questions about your job. Make sure that everything they say is in the contract, in both the English version and the Chinese version. This is important because only the Chinese version is legal, so if you have a friend, get them to check that the same stuff is in each bit of the contract. Communication might be difficult, but don't be afraid to be direct and press for answers, don't just accept what you're told. You might be messed around with a bit, so it's important to 'shop around' for positions - don't feel bad if you do so, and don't be afraid to turn things down that don't suit. Finally, don't feel terrified if you can't find information about a school online - a lot of stuff isn't on Google, and will also be better accessed via WeChat or mini programs. Not finding information about your school or city does not mean it doesn't exist!!

So be prepared for a wild ride - and enjoy! If you have any more questions about any of this, please feel free to ask at any time!

meichenxi out :P

[burgerpocalypse]

Back 4 Blood Beta

It's not good. I don't recommend buying or playing this game. Avoid it. If you like it, you're actually wrong.

I'll be directly comparing Back 4 Blood to Left 4 Dead because it's the same development team (supposedly). I'm also in an especially unforgiving mood, so this will be an outwardly hostile discussion of this terrible product. If you think I'm just being overly negative and want the game to fail because I'm an asshole, well, yeah, I am, but this shoddy product deserves considerable ire and I won't be convinced otherwise.

Some publications and individuals are calling it good, a worthy successor to L4D. They're wrong. L4D was a charming, polished, streamlined game. B4B is passionless, janky, and complicated. It makes mistakes that L4D solved or cleverly avoided, and introduces critical issues that ruin the experience.

Game Feel

Shooting feels weak and unresponsive, slows your movement speed, and requires aim-down-sights to have any accuracy.

Basic movement is slow and plodding. Sprinting drains stamina almost instantly, and is barely faster

Melee attacks rapidly drains stamina and has dubious reach; shoving enemies provides almost no benefit unless you have a specific perk card.

Zombies (or Ridden, a terrible, thoughtless name for zombies) shumble at you like they're competing for the Jank Olympics. One zombie can drain your health bar in seconds through sheer jankitude.

Players will regularly be yeeted, and it will seem like you just experienced an unintended bug or glitch rather than a deliberate force.

You're constantly taking damage from random, unidentifiable sources.

In summary, the game feel of this particular game is woeful.

Characters and Monsters

I hate the player characters. Well, that's a lie. HG, the prepper guy, or whatever his name is, is the only one I don't hate. He doesn't say cringeworthy lines, and he has a definable personality beyond broad emotional traits or bog-standard tropes. Player animations are also jank

The Ridden, which I will reiterate are named terribly, are indistinguishable from each other, players, and the environment. The common zombies are of the same color and height as players, so you're gonna probably be shooting teammates a lot, especially when everyone's covered in blood effects. Special zombies are awfully designed, to the point that I have to complain about them for the rest of this section. They:

are unpredictable, in a bad way

have entirely too much health with easily missed weak points

do far too much damage from unreasonable distances

move faster than the player's default speed, and can charge for extended distances

often appear in multiples and crowd chokepoints

The Hocker operates like the Smoker from L4D, but can lock down multiple players at once, chunk your health from great distances, and repeatedly jump from vantage point to vantage point at random. Its name is also stupid.

The Snitcher calls more zombies if you shoot it, which isn't obvious at all until you end up shooting it and call more zombies. It's also a key mistake that the developers of L4D avoided through rigorous playtesting, which allowed them to see that a similarly designed enemy was completely unfair, resulting in it being cut from the final release. Its name is also stupid.

The big fat guy can douse you in health-draining bile from 50 meters away, is difficult to kill, and has a variant that charge you and explode. This like they took the Boomer and made it worse in uniquely awful ways, just to see if they could. I don't remember the name, but its probably stupid.

The big arm guy can thwack you for 50% of your health bar, pin you in place, is also difficult to kill, and has a variant that is even more difficult to kill. I don't remember his name either, bu its definitely stupid.

The final one I can remember is the one that sits in a flesh pod and ambushes a player that gets too close, pinning them exactly like the Hunter would. The flesh pod blends into the environment in an especially egregious way, and the enemy itself looks stupid. Its names is also probably stupid.

Difficulty

I've cut my teeth on L4D and other coop shooters. I've beaten all the official campaigns on Expert. This game is stupid hard and unforgiving to such a degree that I fully believe that the developers do not understand at all what made L4D fun.

As players lose health, they also accrue trauma, which reduces maximum HP, potentially down to 40 HP. This cannot be recovered, even after respawning at a safe room or midround, unless you find a special medicine locker, which costs copper to use.

Levels are far too long, and there is never, ever any room to breathe. Players are constantly assaulted by zombies from all angles with no sense of rhythm or dramatic tension.

Levels also have no flow. Players will feel as though they are randomly wandering with no sense that they are being led in a particular direction. In L4D, the player characters would constantly be making observations about the environment (i.e. "Up that ladder!" or "We can use X to get across"). While L4D used tooltips to point out important objects, B4B relies entirely upon them.

Players have an elaborate inventory and currency system that is confusing and unreliable. Instead of providing healing and ammo at the start of each level, players have to buy it with copper. Like, literal in-game microtransactions. Each player has a unique wallet, though any copper picked up is given to all players equally. The copper system is an unnecessary addition that serves to slow down the start of a round.

Players can hold one offensive, healing, and support item. Medkits are not given a specific item slot, but instead compete with bandages and pills for inventory space. Guns and melee weapons also have tiers and ranks that are ill-defined. I have an extensive list of gripes I could go on about with this system, but I'll list some key issues:

There are too many items of each type, and they are too plentiful in the environment to be worth spending copper on

Ammo is broken into 4 types, which can leave you with lots of ammo for a weapon type you aren't using and no ammo for the gun you're actually using

Weapon attachments and ammo upgrades do nothing but provide confusion and force you to stop and stare at a stat screen to understand what it is you're adding to your gun. You also can't transfer them between guns, so you'll eventually have to swap a lower-tier gun with great attachments for a higher-tier gun with no attachments

Some offensive items do not behave in the way you expect them to, or provide so little value that they aren't worth using

Bandages and medkits operate identically, offering no interesting decision-making opportunities

The efficacy of healing items in general is needlessly reduced by players being able to heal by killing enemies, as well as trauma reducing max HP to the point that they don't provide any value

The Legacy of Left 4 Dead

Left 4 Dead provided a tightly packaged experience that nearly anyone could pick up on, and has a satisfying core loop that kept me coming back for years in spite of its many obvious glaring flaws. It was not bogged down by unnecessary progression systems or overly complex mechanics.

Since Valve allowed the series to shrivel and die, there has been no refinement of the mechanics that give L4D its magic, only inferior imitations that do not understand why things were they way they were.

Warhammer: Vermintide fails by being too complex, with vast differences between player characters, and an awful gear system that locks players out of higher difficulties with an arbitrary power system and random lootboxes

PAYDAY has zero polish, an unfathomably dull progression system, uninspired characters, awful artificial difficulty, and generally wastes the player's time with crushing amounts of busy work and waiting around

Back 4 Blood could have been great, but it completely misses the point. I'm going to try and play more of it while the beta is open, since I'm a miserable masochist, but also because some small part of me still wants to like it.

I'm sorry that this was so long and uncoordinated. I also apologize if you do enjoy the game. I just hope that I was able to provide a unique perspective of some small value to someone.

Thanks for reading. Sorry there's no interesting art to look at. I only put that comically small cover image there because it made me feel slightly better.

[schweeeppess]

Hello! I was wondering if you have any tips on writing for the Batboys? I'm planning on writing fics for them but I don't completely have their personalities down/don't know exactly how to write them.

Alrighty, let's give some tips :D

Disclaimer: I am in no way an expert on these characters. This is my grasp on the characters and their behaviors, and I know more about certain characters than I do others. If I say something you don't like, die mad. If you think I'm wrong on something, I respectuflly and honestly say good for you but keep your opinion to yourself, please. Thanks.

Dick Grayson

Keep in mind for him the fact that he has anger management issues. It takes quite a bit to get him to snap, but when he does snap, it's a terrible day for all parties involved.

Dick isn't as happy-go-lucky as fandom likes to paint him. He is serious, he is grim, and he is realistic whenever the need for it arises. He's an optimist, yes, but he's beyond smart enough to discern a very serious situation and just how to go about dealing with it.

He is a detective. People tend to forget that, for some reason. He's just as capable as Bruce or Jason are at solving complex problems. He's not the best detective there is, no, but he's still definitely above average with observation skills and such.

He tries to be there for people, but he can get overwhelmed sometimes with all his commitments and might forget some things

Which brings up this point: He overworks himself and tends to agree to do more things than he can easily manage. Dick has an issue with that; overworking himself.

Dick is also a very emotional person. He thinks with his heart most of the time. The phrase "heart on his sleeve" was probably made specifically for him. Dick is open about certain emotions, but make no mistake about the fact that he can close off probably better than Tim whenever he wants to. He feels with everything in him.

He's smart, he's funny, he's genuine, he's protective, he's compassionate, he's dependable, and he's above all loyal and kind.

Dick trusts you until you give him a reason not to, to borrow a phrase.

I think a good song to capture his character would be "Human" by Rag'n'Bone Man.

Jason Todd

Ohhh boy. Here we go.

Say it with me: Jason. Does. Not. Enjoy. Killing.

Seriously, I don't really know where people get the idea that he does from? Jason kills, yes. But why does he do it? For the better. He kills out of mercy and justice for victims (yes that includes the Talon he killed; Talons are victims to the Court of Owls, and nothing more), not because he enjoys it. I am not justifying anything, I'm just explaining.

Jason is also a very emotional person, but he's more of a heart on his cheek kinda guy. He tries to trample them down, but they get the better of him sometimes. Take everything he did in Under the Red Hood as an example. He did what he did because he was hurt and in pain and he needed Bruce to feel the same way.

Jason is hesitant to trust people, very careful to make sure he can't let people close enough to hurt him the way he's been hurt so many times before.

Look, Jason's not a fundementally bad person. He's just been betrayed too many times for someone his age. His mom was a drug addict, and she died. His dad was an abusive father. Bruce was the first real parent Jason ever had, and Bruce replaced him when he died.

My point is, everyone Jason as ever trusted has either turned their backs on him or died. He has attatchment issues, trust issues, parental issues, and so many more I can't even list them all.

He's really fucking smart. (Keep in mind that he was top of all his classes in school.)

Jason is kind, compassionate, empathetic, and loyal. He can be aggressive, brash, and can make fucking stupidass decisions sometimes, but he's still good at heart. He does things with the best intentions (well, now, anyways. Pit Madness made him do some unfavorable things).

Everyone says Jason isn't patient or a planner, but excuse me this is the same Jason as the one who very carefully planned Bruce's death via bomb under the Batmobile, right? Or are you talking about a different Jason. He's careful and thinks things through, planning meticulously at certain points.

Hands down a good Jason song is "I'll Be Good" by Jaymes Young.

Tim Drake

HE'S NOT ADDICTED TO CAFFEINE!!! That's a fandom thing that I'm kinda getting sick of seeing everywhere!!!

Tim Drake, self-esteem issues, self-worth issues, and attatchment issues galore. He tends to think himself expendable and unimportant sometimes. He just generally thinks less of himself a percentage of the time.

He's fucking genius. Plans at least three steps ahead of everyone and anyone now, but... He's jaded at times. Very jaded.

Tim tries not to feel at all, sometimes. He closes himself off and distances himself from everyone ever since Kon, Bart, and Stephanie died. Of course, Kon and Bart came back, and Stephanie wasn't ever really dead, but that hardly means anything.

Tim is quiet and introverted, keeps to himself a lot, but that doesn't mean he's timid.

He's smart and he knows it, but he doesn't let that get to his head. He's cool but funny, he's wise but geeky, he's jaded but soft...

Tim is loose. He's still a teenager, albeit a teen who's gone through and seen a lot. He likes having fun.

He's not all shy and unnecessary apologies, he's not so jaded that he speaks down to everyone in clipped tones, he's not gonna go cry in a corner whenever his feelings get hurt, he's not going to have a fit when things go wrong.

Tim is complicated. He's a teenager.

He's serious but relaxed, strict but loose, calculating but calm, realistic but kind.

He's funny, smart, cunning, intellectual, realistic, caring, considerate, compassionate, empathetic, thoughtful...

Yeah uh let me just say there are so many layers to all of these characters it's so amazing and I really delight in them.

Damian Wayne

Damian isn't a stick-up-the-ass jerk, alright?

He's just a kid. A kid who's seen, experienced, and witnessed far too much for someone his age.

Keep that in mind.

He doesn't know what to do or how to behave. He went from the League, which was familiar and what he understood, to Gotham, somewhere unfamiliar and unknown. He had everything he knew stripped away and replaced with things he'd never even heard of, much less experienced.

He tries to hide it all behind a mask of bravado and superiority, but in reality he's lost and confused. He's struggling to adjust but is trying.

He's confused, uncertain, careful, and tentative, but he's also loyal, compassionate, funny, caring (in his own way), thoughtful, and actually charming (again in his own way).

He's struggling to adjust, but he's getting there.

[cutelittleluckysoul]

hey, may i get ships for star wars and marvel? i'm an expert at being an asshole, but a loveable asshole. i'm probably a bit too sarcastic for my own good, and my humour? not even going to lie, i'm hilarious. when i'm not being an asshole, i'm trying to help others with their problems. but the thing is, nobody ever asks me how i am. nobody ever really cares for me. while i may seem like i don't want to open up, that's all i ever really want to do. i wish i had someone to listen + care about me.

Hey of course^-^ I hope you are ok darling?😊

For the Prequels I would ship you with Anakin Skywalker

listen here the boy would care so much about you! 

he knows you always care for your friends 

but he sees that no one ever asks about you

and he absolutely hates it!

so he gives your friends a piece of his mind

and he is so considerate about your feelings

he always makes sure you know that you can talk to him

constantly asks how you are or how your day was etc.

he doesn’t want you to feel left out so he always includes you no matter what

even if you are technically not allowed to know everything

he will tell you anyway

he loves how assholy you can be sometimes

because he is the same

does he love you less because of it?

absolutely not

he probably loves you even more because of that

he also always laughs about your jokes

even in the most serious situations you are able to make him at least  smile

of course you are also there for him but he knows not to take advantage of you

but you help him with problems and he really appreciates it

but he would never just use you so you help him

nope Anakin would never do that

and the poor soul he catches doing that to you

he thinks you are way too good for this galaxy

and he will protect you at all costs

For the Original Trilogy I would ship you with Han Solo

now Han can be an asshole as well

so you two fit perfectly together

but you are more on the loveable side than he is

and he knows he can count on you 

for everything

he might be a bit daft sometimes when it comes to talking about feelings

and he doesn’t get it at first that you wanna talk about them and be asked about them

seriously it needs a big push from Chewie so he understands

and he isn’t the best at helping you with that

but he is willing to listen 

and if he has to he will make you feel better

because he loves you

and it takes some work to make a healthy relationship

which he isn’t really used to

but he loves you very much 

and he makes sure that you know he will always be there for you

even if he doesn’t he shows you with actions

he also has a serious talk with your friends 

how dare they use you like that

you have a big heart and he likes that

but he also really likes it when you are being a little asshole sometimes

it brings him great joy

as well as your humor 

because you are hilarious

and he needs to smile more

which he does when you are around

and Chewie definitely notices it

and teases him about it

Han denies it of course but he knows that he is whipped for you

For the Sequels I would ship you with Kylo Ren

now Kylo might seem tough at first but we all know he is really soft on the inside

and he has a lot of problems

which he comes to you with

but he would feel like he would burden you with them 

so he always tries to make it up to you by listening and helping you with your problems

at first it would feel like his obligation

but he soon realises he kinda likes helping you

it makes him feel useful in a more peaceful way

but also because he knows you have a lot on your back sometimes

and he wants to see you happy

and not bottle everything up like he did for a long time before he got to meet you

which he is very grateful for

and you take no shit from him which he appreciates a lot as well

because let's be honest sometimes he just doesn’t know what he is doing

so you are there to guide him

he would never admit it to anyone but you 

but he loves to laugh with you

he rarely does it 

but when he is around you a smile always creeps upon his face

and when you start joking around he can’t help but genuinely laugh

and it is such a beautiful sound

you wish he would always do it

he loves that you bring him so much joy

And for Marvel I would ship you with Stephen Strange

you would be able to get behind his big ego

and at first he would really hate how vulnerable he would get around you

because you are such a good listener and don’t judge him

but you can also be an asshole and he kinda like that about you

because sure you can be mean but he knows how sweet you can be

and you are honest with him which not many people were 

he always comes to you with his problems and insecurities about his hands

and you would always listen to him

even when he was being an asshole

you would tell him that he was being an asshole tho

and after he calmed down he would apologise

he would notice you being kind of closed off

so he would constantly ask you what was going on and if you were ok because he cared a great deal about you

he would tell you how toxic your friends were being

and he would have a serious talk about you with them and how wrong they are behaving

he would always have an open ear for your problems

even if he seems like he is he wouldn’t care he does

he really does

because you mean a lot to him

[kae-karo]

I'm a bit out of the loop with phandom stuff, so I don't know if it's been discussed, and I know it was over a week ago, but Adrian's new video rubbed me the wrong way, and I didn't know until just now why. It kind of felt like a stab at Dan? Like, he knows how important this kind of thing is to Dan, and he made a video going completely against it. I don't know if that makes sense, it's the best way I can describe it xx

hi dear! okay first and foremost i want to caution against referring to adrian/his vids as anything to do with the phandom, since he’s entirely separate and frankly i would like him to stay that way. that being said, i agree wholeheartedly that it felt like a lazy, unresearched attempt at being a mental health guru and - perhaps not intentionally - a bit of a snub at dan’s work with mental health orgs and his own daniel & depression vid

i know people have wanted my thoughts on it so i tried to watch it w.o giving him a view, idk if it worked but i genuinely want to be sure i’ve seen it before i express any opinions (i have a lot to say whoops)

my first complaint is how casual this is and the fact that he did it all in one take - this isn’t a topic that lends itself well to such levity, it’s a topic that requires careful thought and organization

he starts off by saying he sees ‘people unnecessarily struggling with mental illness’ which to me just implies that it’s somehow solely the fault of the person that they have a mental illness when we all know that’s of course not the case - he really needed to have a little more empathy in that statement, and it was so close to like. being a decent statement

‘we’re not taught ways to manage it’ yes okay that’s valid i support that, he does note that we aren’t taught ways to deal with events that crop up in almost all our lives in school! this is valid

i appreciate that he prefaced his rant of ‘advice’ by saying he’s not a professional and it’s his own experiences, but he doesn’t practice that when he’s talking - it definitely sounds like a ‘this is how you should do it’ kind of thing

i’m sorry but ‘meditation is huge, it’s massive’ like? okay that’s great but like. i don’t like that the medical side of things has been all but ignored - i know not everyone can afford it, but it should still be brought up in a video regarding mental health, or a vid like adrian’s should be prefaced by saying that he’s only talking about the kinds of things that worked for him that you can do by yourself alongside professional help, or something to that effect

i know people brought it up but him saying he can go from being a ‘depressed, obese fucking piece of shit person’ to who he is today is so immensely horrible and inconsiderate toward people struggling with weight or mental health or a combination. that’s just utterly horrible and if anything else he’s done in the past didn’t put me off him/his content before, that right there did - and he has no excuse. this is not a topic to be taken so lightly as to say in one shot and then post with no consideration

the way he talks about his ‘advice’ is so detrimental - instead of inspiring and encouraging, he’s trash talking and saying if you don’t do these things, you’re stuck and you’re not making enough effort and you’re, for all intents and purposes, fucked (i say because he said it so often)

‘we have to take absolute responsibility for ourselves, because no one else is gonna fix it’ no, maybe not ‘fix’ it, but they can help - my god, if you’re struggling with mental health, it can be eons easier to work toward feeling better if you have someone encouraging you, if you have someone you can vent to, if you have a professional or a doctor, if you have a support system. as much as it fucking sucks, it’s really really hard, nigh impossible, to improve without a support system!!!???

i’m sorry, it’s ‘liberating’ to know that you have the power (to change things yourself)? maybe for some people, but what i’ve heard from many many others is that it’s terrifying and daunting. again, this is something better done in several takes where he would’ve had time to analyze his own word choices and improve on them, saying something like ‘for me, it was liberating’

i’m very skeptical of him talking about all the biochemistry of exercise without any kind of resources backing him up - from a high level, i’ve no doubt he’s right (nutrition was more my specialty over exercise) but by the same token, he’s speaking as if he’s a professional and that’s something he needs to keep in check

he gets,,,,,,extensively preachy ‘you just have to start doing it, you have to start’ okay, but how? (or, in this case, what did he do bc i really don’t want him to actually say things as if he’s an expert) and what about the people who have trouble starting, or start ten times and give up eleven times? you can’t give these command-style statements without assistance and call it advice - that’s not advice, that’s preaching

‘food is medicine’ no my dude medicine is medicine, food is food. and it’s so so so important to remember that some people need medicine (actual medicine) regardless of how well they eat to help with their mental health - yes, eating right is important, absolutely, but it’s not always enough to help someone manage the symptoms of their mental health

stop. preaching. vegan. it’s very hard for people to eat vegan esp with low incomes, and it can be very hard for people on vegan diets to get enough protein without very careful food consumption - i know i saw someone post about it last week or w.e when this vid came out but for me and them and probably a lot of other people, being very overly conscious about the kinds of foods they’re consuming can lead to eating disorders (it did for me). people can live perfectly healthy lifestyles while still eating meat, still eating animal products and - shockingly - still eating the occasional fried greasy food!

‘if you can harness [your mind] and reign it in’.......look. i get it. trying to be conscious of your thoughts is important. but this is more of that ‘live laugh love’ bullshit that means absolutely nothing to someone who’s actually struggling? how can you tell what’s detrimental? some of it’s obvious ofc, but some of it really isn’t? ‘when you get your thoughts on a good wavelength’ okay that’s still not advice! that’s preaching! how does someone even approach that! at the very least, he could say how he approached it (i’m upset bc all he’s doing is saying ‘here’s where i was, here’s where i am now’ without any indication of the in-between - i don’t want him saying ‘this is how people should do it’ but i would’ve at least appreciated him saying how he did it)

‘magic starts to happen’ no. that’s not how dealing with a mental health issue works for most people. it’s not just 'uwu think positive thoughts uwu’. and it’s so so so scary to see someone preaching that, because you know what happens to the vast majority of the people who hear that but can’t just magically realign their thoughts? they can lose hope and lose motivation and decide there’s something wrong with them or they’re not ‘trying hard enough’ or they can never get better - which is so so heartbreakingly wrong!!!??? i’m so so severely disappointed in this video

‘you’re making your life an absolute misery for yourself and for everyone’ oh my god. oh my god how dare you. how dare you say that. there are so so many beautiful and wonderful and lovely humans out there whose brains force them to think these kinds of negative thoughts and you have the audacity to claim that it’s their fault - and worse, that they are making other people miserable. i’m not saying there’s no way for them to make tiny adjustments and help them get themselves on a path to improvement, but oh my god get out of here. get out get out get the fuck out i have never in my entire goddamn life wanted more to make a video directly countering all the bullshit he’s said especially this