haruka and what each animal on his case represents, an analysis
before we begin, general CW for the issues haruka's story deals with (neglect, child abuse, animal death, etc).
Throughout the MVs, animals play an important role in Haruka's story. I think each of these represents a part of Haruka, both how he perceives himself and how he wants to be perceived. Even if Haruka presumably has numerous animal victims, the ones most emphasized are dogs, fish, and rabbits.
1. RABBITS
Haruka is seen on many occasions with his bunny plush. It’s so important that it appears not only in Weakness and Undercover but also in graffart’s collab, where each item is importan on the character's story in one way or another (like mahiru and the mantis). I see it as a toy from his childhood that he’s very attached to.
The fact that it’s specifically a rabbit is interesting to me, as the rabbit is a prey. If we go to the unique point of view of Japanese culture, rabbits are also quite related to the moon. The lunar cycles are also an important symbol in weakness, showing white, blue and finally red moons over a red sky. The origin of the relationship between rabbits and the moon is debated between admiration as they are perceived as objects of fertility and health because of their reproduction, or a legend that spread from India:
"a rabbit can't tolerate seeing people die and jumps into the fire to become food, then Indra rewards him for his sacrifice and takes him to the moon."
The theme of self sacrifice and the ultimate reward one receives for it is reinforced by Taoism, where the hare, like the moon, dies to be reborn and represents immortality. More popularly, rabbits are also associated with good fortune. It being white also points to innocence, and in turn to the pursuit of something that upon attainment brings discovery, an idea popularized by Alice in Wonderland. Even if it's more seen as a weak and tender animal, it has also been culturally represented as cruel and capable of aggression, closer to what Haruka is than the role of merely a prey. Haruka wants to be seen as weak prey that the strong hunt, to be pitied and loved for it. To be perceived as someone to be protected, as he cannot defend himself, but this is contradicted by his own actions both in weakness and throughout milgram. The prey becomes the predator and gives way to the next animal;
2. DOGS
The dog is universally a symbol of loyalty and the effort it takes to form a training bond between a wild animal and a human. Dogs are seen accompanying men and being obedient to women.
Dogs are perceived as creatures that love unconditionally and are capable of giving everything to protect those they love.
In terms of personality and behavior, they are the closest animals to Haruka, who accepts and actively seeks to be guided and to be faithful for someone, to be used to feel useful and not abandoned.
Even if they are domestic, the dogs whose breeds are distinguishable are large dogs, considered to be hunting dogs. Haruka being represented as a dog also creates a parallel with kotoko, who is represented by a wolf.
Haruka being represented as a dog also creates a parallel with kotoko, who is represented by a wolf. Dogs are the friendlier, "clean" version of wolves, domesticated to be obedient, while wolves maintain a certain solitary air of independence and savagery.
However, whenever a dog is featured on screen it is accompanied by loud instrumentals and rather graphic visuals. In Weakness, child Haruka accepts and expresses affection towards the animal, who apparently is suddenly injured and runs away from him into a forest, where he is disoriented and confused. Haruka follows its footsteps and ends up seeing his hands in horror, realizing that he's the cause of its injury.
The perspective of present Haruka isn't so different, who now attacks it, destroying it until the only remains are the necklace it was wearing, ultramarine liquid and eyes, which I consider represent the opinions of others and looks that judge him.
I think the fact that this dog bleeds the same color as Haruka's is a not-so-hidden hint at the fact that, in a way, Haruka is ending up with a part of himself (this time a bit smaller, not being human yet) to escape people's judgments.
There are also many sayings that by mistreating someone, "you are treating them like a dog", like an animal, something inferior, but that still sticks to what the human wants and believing all their words.
In AKAA, we see that instead of being a mix of at least two dogs, they're now separate entities and different breeds that dissolve as Haruka sings about being reborn. Again, dogs often appear in stories as spirit guides, helping humans enter and exit the realm of the dead safely, representing a middle ground between life and death. Dogs are followers of their owners, not leaders, and no matter how close a bond they form with humans, they are rarely recognized as equals to us.
3. FISH
Most of the similarities between Haruka and fish are presented visually, with Haruka being a passive spectator of his own life, observing others from behind something akin to a glass wall that separates him from normal people. He's constantly surrounded by water drowning, and in one scene is even presented at a fish-eye angle, being watched by his mother.
In AKAA we can see two specific species of fish.
Yellow bobfish: they're very complicated fish to keep in aquariums because they release toxins when stressed and are naturally solitary once they reach adulthood, it's not recommended to have more than two in the same tank because they are territorial and aggressive among their own species, however it's friendly and sociable with fish of other species. It responds to stress with aggression and attacks its own kind (in this case other weaklings) just like Haruka.
Clownfish: they usually inhabit anemones, forming a mutualism in which they find shelter and food. Toxins from anemones don't affect them as they develop immunity to them throughout their lives to eventually live in them. Anemones benefit from clownfishes cleaning its tentacles. Clownfish often eat parasites and are also known to steal more food from anemones than what they give in return. They are also capable of changing sex from male to female. Seeing this particular species depicted tells us a lot not only about haruka, but about his relationship with Muu, as for the first time it's not depicted as a mutual need, a codependency that endangers their lives if they become separated, but a mutually beneficial relationship where both can exist separately, but live much more comfortably by relating to each other in this way.
Extra: Insects (specifically butterflies) and parasites.
The symbolism of transformation and metamorphosis is so present that it even took the title of both voice dramas. Caterpillars can only wriggle and are no different from any worthless worm, but after a season, they manage to transform into a butterfly: beautiful, admirable, much more memorable and lovable. Having been forgiven and meeting Muu, Haruka manages to "fulfill" his metamorphosis and become someone he believes is better.
Still, from what is shown in AKAA, it doesn't seem that Haruka is entirely happy with this change happening - the monarch butterflies represents ambition and perseverance, but it seems to be rejected by haruka, who crushes it in his hands
Haruka longs for this transformation, but is unable to fully accept it happening. I think it's because no matter how much he changes and wants to be someone else, he can't get rid of the disastrous image he has of himself, or he has forced himself not to change so as not to be disliked even more by others.
Now, Kotoko is an important figure to Haruka despite not interacting much. It highlights both his codependency (or mutually beneficial relationship) with Muu as much as the fact that he assimilates a parasite.
This is a point I've made several times before, but Haruka's way of socializing is based on taking parts of others and melding them on himself, especially women. It started by stealing his mother's necklace and taking it as his own, continues by killing Mirai and stealing what he lacks, and ends now in a much more obvious way with Muu, imitating her personality, accepting her accessories and the clothes she chooses for him and even copying her sprite pose a bit.
If he had become closer to Yuno and Mahiru, I'm sure he would also start imitating their behaviors in one way or another. Haruka lives by taking parts of the women he surrounds herself with, and he seems to want to take something from kotoko as well, but it's still unclear what he wants.
What does all of this have in common?
Not only is the theme of change and rebirth prominent, but every animal that Haruka comes to hurt relates in one way or another to his desires, thoughts, or parts of himself. Figuratively, we can say that Haruka's case is about him eliminating and hiding every part of himself, until he murders his human victim, Mirai, who at the same time is the closest and most prominent part in him, with whom he wishes he could reconcile and exist together, accepting each other - for, unlike his other victims, Mirai is often presented as a friend and someone Haruka misses. I have yet to write Mirai's analysis on its own, so whether she is also a part of Haruka or not and whether all his kills are figurative is up to each one's choice, I tend to wander between both sides because I like both scenarios.
In a less figurative way and taking the case more literally, these facts are simple trivia and interesting symbolism to consider when analyzing Haruka.
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imagine babysitting with boyfriend!dabi
you were supposed to spend the day together but shit got in the way and now you were stuck at your relatives’ place and had to look after their kids for the afternoon. dabi was ready to disappear the second you mentioned it but you practically dragged him there by his collar and now he’s sitting on the couch pouting.
he would never admit it but he was worried that the kids might get scared by his appearance. well turns out they absolutely adore him.
it’s definitely annoying him at first that they won’t leave him alone for even a second and keep demanding that he plays with them. you glare at him after a while and he reluctantly gives in.
it starts with them playing with little race car models and they soon switch to drawing messily in one of their coloring books. dabi turns out to be quite the talented artist which you haven’t known until then.
however he draws the line when the kids want to play dress up. he vehemently refuses… for five minutes at least. when you return from the kitchen with snacks for everyone you have to try your absolute hardest not to burst out laughing when you see the sparkly tiara on his head. (you manage to take a picture without him noticing)
he doesn’t admit it but he’s actually having fun and watching you interact with the kids is putting thoughts into his head that he’s never had before. maybe starting a family of your own isn’t as bad of an idea as he used to think.
now all he can think about for the rest of the day is you underneath him with your legs pressed to your chest and the sound of your heavenly moans when he draws orgasm after orgasm from you until he finally cums inside of you. he rly hopes you won’t mind not using a condom this time...
- 🥛
YOU DID NOT JUST DO THIS TO ME—
the way i actually can picture him letting the kids grab onto his arms and then lift them up to spin the two of them around, once he’s done dabi would be dizzy as hell but then there are the kids who starts screaming “again!” “again!” which has him huff tiredly but still comply to what they want because they were having fun and that surprisingly made our arsonist hold back a smile, all this under your amused but still tender grin.
i can also see dabi play with them the ‘see you, can’t see you’ game, after you teach him, and he adores the laughs and giggles those little dwarfs let out when he exclaims “ah! here you are!”, in the most (semi) monotone voice someone could’ve ever hear, but the kids still loved it so much and that just leave him with a tingling sensation inside his chest from how moved he was, but still managed to keep it low or you wouldn’t let him live it down just like with the tiara moment.
once the kids were gone, you two finally alone, dabi is sitting on the couch with dazed eyes looking in front of him and lips slightly parted; when you sit next to him you’re about to ask him what was that face for, after snorting amused, when in a millisecond the villain has you laying beneath him as he hovers over your figure. you look surprised at him, being meet by a stare of pure desire and love that made your heart skip a beat from the intensity “w-what?”, you blurt out confused while glancing back at your boyfriend unsure on what’s gotten into him, then your eyes fell down and widened at the sight of the bulge inside his pants that was now pressing against your lower abdomen “you–?! wha–?!”
“i...”, dabi interrupted you “want to have kids with you princess.”, he confessed in a low husky gentle tone looking away from you with the back of his hand raising in front of his face and you blinked fervently, no because... was this cruel villain blushing right now?!
god he is so damn gorgeous like that, you can’t wrap your head around the fact that you have the most precious boyfriend out there, he’s truly such a gem honestly.
smiling tenderly at his confession you cup his cheeks, making him flinch slightly because of the sudden move, and pull him towards you meeting him halfway to kiss the raven-haired boy on his lips deeply, with an astonishing amount of love that left dabi speechless but yearning for more which is why a second later he was already ravishing yours back with as much passion as you.
when the two of you parted, panting, your hazy eyes locked and you swallowed down before slowly sliding your legs up his sides then closing them around dabi’s waist in a tight grip that pressed his boner against your clothed heat, a groan and moan leaving both your mouths at the friction. licking your lips under his burning gaze you start talking “what are you waiting for then?”, dabi looks with eyes that you can see ask for permission and “fill me up dabi.”, with that accompanied by a roll of your hips against his, he completely lost it.
after this, skins slapping together, pants, groans and moans are the only things that can be heard inside your living room as your man is cumming for the sixth time inside of you, balls deep into your pussy with the tip of his dick pressing hard against the swollen entrance of your womb as he’s spilling his load in complete ecstacy once again while you squirt all over his shaft and onto his pelvis with a pitiful cry, too overstimulated to even form a single syllable.
dabi has his eyes still rolled back into his skill in pure bliss when he hear you slurr about how much seed there’s inside your cunt, his cerulean irises going back to their place immediately before he raises from his hovering position on you with flushed cheeks as he smirks, totally high on you “of course there’s lots...”, and grabbing onto your waist he starts to rut his hips slowly, fucking all his seed into you with eyes clouded by desire “i gotta make sure my princess is filled up to the brim with our babies, right?”, he ends his sentence with a sharp thrust that made you let out a sob while holding onto his forearms for dear life, moaning continuously as dabi kept pounding into you “you can take more of it, i know it baby, i believe in my pretty girl nhgh–”, dabi kept blurting while throwing his head back with a throaty dragged groan at feeling your walls clench around him, hips picking up pace in no time.
letting out a breathy moan he looks down at you with sweat rolling down his temples long his pretty panting face, then he grabs your forearm to rub kind circles on it “i’m gonna make sure it’ll stick this time, so– ugh— bear with me for a little more ‘kay baby?”, you nod absentmindedly, too fucked out to register well what he’s saying to you, making him let out an amused snort at seeing your expression completely melted from the continuous pleasure and overstimulation “good girl, lemme reward you thenhgh—”, and with that another load of his seed was flowing inside of you and deep into your womb.
the pure bliss dabi feels everytime he cums deep in you, the imagery of his white ropes sticking inside your uterus, makes him rock hard all over again. mind completely lost into the ferverish sensation he’s been feeling for hours now thanks to his precious girl.
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ARE WE AFFIRMING YOUR GENDER?! IS THAT WHAT WE’RE DOING?!
Sci, first of all, I’m so sorry your dad said that listing your pronouns is embarrassing. It’s 2024. What’s embarrassing is being a parent who cares more about what other people think of them than what their child thinks of them. People don’t have to understand you, they don’t even have to agree with you, but if someone says they love you, the least they can do is make the attempt to show you they respect your identity as an individual person. I know this is particularly difficult for parents sometimes but it’s not impossible. I sincerely hope that someday your dad realizes how spectacular you are and how lucky he is to have the opportunity of knowing and loving someone as truly kind, funny, and generous as you are.
Second of all, LET’S GIVE ANOTHER SHOUT OUT TO THOSE PRONOUNS. Oooo I like the way you wear he/him. It’s loud, it’s rebellious, it’s confident, it’s authentic! It’s everything those angry white boys with podcasts WISH they were! You are entering your “boys will be boys” era and it’s covered in bright colors, zany patterns, sequins, and ATTITUDE.
I am so fucking proud of you for taking this big scary step into being your true self and laying it bare before the world. Just last night I was thinking about how one of the reasons I was so miserable in my 20s was because when I was around 21/22 I went back into the closet to make myself “more palatable” for the people around me. Less confusing for them. Less work for them. And I’ll never actually know what experiences I lost when I lost myself. I’ll never know what I could have done, the opportunities and stories and memories I missed out on because I was only living as half a person. I’m back on track now though, and the good news for you is: now that you’ve taken this step you never have to ask that question again.
I’ve gotta say, Sci, announcing your true pronouns is definitely one of the sexiest things you could ever do. And Wade agrees. <3
hooougghh bless you @nobutforrealthough - you're so cool and sexy and ough...
i feel so very exhausted in the head lately about identity things. i think a lot of people thought i was some kind of gender icon when really i'm just piecing things together as best as i can. i feel a little exhausted that people thought so much of me and i'm not delivering on it. (but i've felt that way all the time, all my life, from pretty much everybody.)
i guess it's difficult to do all this alone, without anyone in your corner. i think writing wade and peter, they sort of felt like friends to help me through it, because i don't really have anyone else out there to help me through and speak to me on my level. so – i kind of had to invent voices to give me courage. and it helps. but i worry that it's a little sad, too. sorry. i'm feeling very frank and bare this morning.
it's a lonely old world when you still haven't figured out where you fit in it. and maybe you're not meant to fit. but you kind of do need to fit, for your sanity. for your survival. so you contort and compromise and squeeze yourself into weird shapes and bug your head. and it's all so, so exhausting for me. and i think my body's finally telling me it's time to retire. my body is so, so tired...
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