#Lickety Split (Part One)

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #245

Brain Curds are lightly edited daily writing - usually flash fiction and sometimes terrible on purpose.

Dr. Lindsay Buckley was a marriage counselor, and well-renowned at that. She’d saved hundreds of marriages over the course of her decades in the practice, including those of multiple presidents. She was the de-facto expert on resolving differences in other people’s marriages.

Which is why it was so strange that hers fell apart.

After twenty-five years of marriage, her husband asked for a divorce - and she didn’t even make an attempt to dissuade him. Frankly, she was as exhausted by him as he was of her. Plus, with the new freedom of being a bachelorette in her late forties, she could finally explore her long-neglected bisexuality.

One day, an attractive young couple in their thirties - the Davenports - happened to walk into her office. The man was well-built, with toned arms and a six-pack visible under his thin and tight tank top. His smile made Dr. Buckley swoon involuntarily. But his wife was gorgeous as well - curvy with strong legs that looked like they could crush a watermelon, and Buckley was tempted to find out firsthand. Both of them were exactly her type, and they were downright awful together.

The two sat at opposite ends of the couch, though Mr. Davenport leaned in his wife’s direction. Based on this body language, he believed they could fix their marriage. Strike one against him - he was a moron.

Mrs. Davenport threw up her hands. “Every time I come home from work, I see him sitting on the couch watching some trashy reality show.”

“Where do you work?” Dr. Buckley asked.

“I’m a gym trainer. But -”

“And what is the show in question?”

“Does that matter?”

The husband put his hand up. “It’s Limerence Peninsula.”

Buckley nodded. “I see.” She took note - not because it mattered for therapy, but because she was also a fan of the show.

“Anyway,” the wife continued. “He sits at home all day, doesn’t even do the dishes or vacuum the floors, and he thinks just because he’s a trophy husband, he doesn’t have to help run the household.”

“That’s not so bad. My ex-husband was like that. I make plenty of money to hire help.”

“What’s that got to do with us?”

“Hm?” Buckley pushed up her glasses. “Oh, nothing at all, honey, go on.”

“Well, I come home tired and sweaty, and I still have housework to do! When I ask him to do it, he always does it wrong, no matter how many times I show him the right way.”

“Tired and sweaty, you say? And how does he react to your odor?”

“What?!?”

“It’s very important, psychologically. Remember, I’m an expert.”

The husband raised his hand again. “I usually don’t touch her until she showers. Is that bad?”

Dr. Buckley was sure now that this man was a total himbo. “It’s a red flag, honey. Mrs. Davenport, wouldn’t you like him to appreciate you how you are? And offer, say, a foot rub after a long day?”

“Now that you mention it…” She replied. “Yes, I would like that! And it pains me deeply that he has never offered.”

Dr. Buckley nodded. “And, hypothetically, if another woman - or, a man, I suppose - but if another woman offered to rub your feet and shoulders, what would you say?”

Mrs. Davenport pondered. “I’d consider it.”

“Mm-hmm, mm-hmm…” Buckley wrote in her notebook. She still wasn’t sure which way Mrs. Davenport swung - but next it was time to get his side of the story.

Please comment, reblog, like, and follow if you enjoyed - I'd love to know what you think! To be continued tomorrow.

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

A Night Forgotten

Part Three

It’s getting more intense 😈

On top of her earlier worries, now Emoni had an even bigger dilemma to contend with: her boss/secret crush was fully awake...and back to his usual mocking self.

Joy.

What was she going to do now? Her options seemed limited to throwing on her clothes lickety-split and pulling a runner or grabbing the sheet, wrapping it around herself, and demanding he—

The toilet flushed, the tap ran for a moment, and then Erik was standing in the open doorway, drying his hands on a towel. With a quick up and down glance, he took her in from head to toe, and a slow, devastating smile crawled up his cheek. "Well, well. It seems I finally got something right between us, my precious Emoni. It's about fucking time."

Emoni dashed across the room and tore the bedding from the mattress, wrapping the soft, cool satin around her naked body.

“A-ha! So, you don't remember what you did to me last night!" she stated, somewhat miffed by the thought.

Surely it hadn't been that bad a lay...had it?

She tossed him a baleful eye.

“Months of trying to get me on a date, months of both our friends hammering away at me to give you a chance, months of putting up with that humiliating interdepartmental betting pool regarding you and my panties...and you can't even remember fucking me, can you?" She made a pftttt sound and crossed her arms in righteous indignation. "Wow, Erik!"

He laughed. "What a little hypocrite you are, Princess, since it appears you're in the same boat I am...figuratively and literally speaking," he countered, crossing his bulging arms and leaning against the bathroom doorpost. "You can't recall a damn thing about last night, either, can you? Can you?"

Her whole body flushed with sexual awareness and her nipples went instantly hard as Erik challenged her.

How was it that this same defiant behaviour during their formative school days had made her itch to cut his balls off and feed it to him back then, but a dozen years later, now it only made her want to lick him all over instead?

It had to have something to do with the long, attractive package currently swinging between his legs, because as he moved, lounging so sexily in the bathroom doorway, she suddenly found herself staring at it with an eager and lusty appreciation. Gahdamn! it was beautiful! And long…and thick…and—Whatever.

She blinked and forcibly turned away, her cheeks burning. "Will you please put some clothes on so we can talk?" she requested. "You're...distracting."

The Prince actually chuckled at that. "Am I really? Well, then I'll have to politely decline, baby girl. I'm enjoying redirecting your attention towards other more profitable thoughts."

She clucked her tongue in annoyance. "You're arrogance is through the roof about all of this."

"This isn't conceit, Emoni. This is contentment."

"It certainly sounds to me as if your ego is doing all the talking today."

"Well, it's not."

She turned back and cast a cynical expression in his direction. "Then, you’re telling me you’re not happy to swagger and strut around because you finally had sex with me after all these years of trying every line in your playbook to stick your dick in me?!”

He stared hard at her. "No, I'm not. I am, however, feeling a sudden urge to spank that ass. Care to step up and volunteer?" He actually growled then. "And for your information, baby girl, I don’t need a playbook, it comes natural. Who's the arrogant one again?"

“How am I the arrogant one!?” She shouted defensively.

“Well,” Erik started counting off on his fingers, “You find every moment to announce how I’ve been chasing after you all this time. You do it as if you’ve been playing this game of making me wait—

She huffed, he sniffed.

"So, we’re gonna stand here and act like you haven’t been wanting a nigga for a while now? Come on, ma. I can see right through you. It sucks you gotta play games when I could have shown you some things.”

He sounded a bit sulky at that.

Emoni glanced at him sideways. Erik truly looked upset by her accusations, which told her more than his words ever could. Perhaps whatever had happened between them the night before hadn't been pre-planned by him, and he hadn't been responsible for her memory gaps, after all.

“Okay…so…nothing?” She questioned.

“Nothing—well…I can remember us dancing. I remember how I dragged you to the dance floor and we Had a ball,” Erik smirked at the fuzzy memory, “You were….all over me. It was definitely the drinks because you would never do no shit like that sober, but…your ex was PISSED. We shared a drink…”

Erik blinked rapidly a few times then his thick, unruly brows snapped together. He drew a blank.

“That’s…wow—that’s exactly what I remember last as well…what the fuck?”

“Weird, right?” Erik said.

Which left Emoni wondering how in hell it was she could ever have forgotten making love to him, because that had been an event she'd ached for and dreamed of for years. That she couldn't remember anything significant at all in the aftermath was not just a maddening mystery, but also terribly disappointing to her as well. With his own memory of the night apparently lost, too, now she'd never be able to know how it had been between them. Had they connected body-to-body, soul-to-soul as she'd always fantasized, or had it been merely about sating sexual hungers and agreeing to move on? That knowledge was lost forever, it seemed, and that made her heavyhearted.

Clearing her throat, she figured she might as well attempt some civility, since he didn't appear to be at fault, if she was properly reading the signs.

“Right. So...what now?"

He shrugged. "We go back to bed."

She tightened the sheets around her with a twist of her hand, unsure if that idea wasn't the worst one in the history of co-worker one-offs and deserved an argument or if she should just give into the temptation and make a whole new set of epic mistakes today with Erik—this time, memorable ones. Decisions, decisions...

"And why would we do that?" she asked, trying to buy herself some time to come up with a third alternative.

Erik frowned at that. "To sleep. Maybe to fuck again later, once we're both more rested... Why are you so skittish all of the sudden?”

Because you're gloriously naked and suck-able, she thought, and I really want to run my mouth all over you this instant.

"Because I'm understandably nervous right now," she said instead, feeling her palms grow slick with a feverish need to touch him.

As if he'd discarded her words in favour of listening in on her more honest thoughts and impulses instead, he rewarded her with a slow, wicked smile. "Is that so?" he asked, his voice thick with lusty insinuation.

He shifted then, and it took all of Emoni’s willpower to keep her eyes from drifting downwards to seek out the slight movement between his legs again. No way was she getting caught in that mesmerizing action twice.

“Yes, I just said," she reiterated, fanning herself with a hand and wondering if it were possible to spontaneously combust.

Noting her distress, Erik’s teasing waned. "Why?

A third alternative suddenly presented itself: rationally discussing the matter to death. That's what Emoni did best, after all. "Because regardless of the fact that we've each experienced a disturbing loss of memories of the last twelve or so hours, we're both cognizant that some level of physical intimacy passed between us last night," she pointed out, switching into 'professional mode'. "Our relationship, therefore, has evolved and requires us to come to some form of an agreement and an arrangement as to its future."

"Agreement? Arrangement?" He almost sounded offended, “You're starting to sound like a wife looking for a pre-nup, Moni." He jerked his chin towards her bellybutton, and the piercing that lay just beneath the sheets that covered it. "Was that diamond chandelier in your navel not enough for you? Or do you need a bigger declaration of my intentions? I suppose I can get you a ring for your finger to match, if you want.”

She tsked at him for joking at a time like this. "I'm talking about our working relationship, you asshole! What we did here last night...this is going to alter that dynamic, like it or not."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "Why does it have to, though?”

Unbelievable! Could he not see that everything had changed?

Pushing off from the wall, he approached her, "It was about time it did, too! All this time trying to get your attention the old-fashioned way was getting me nowhere with you. Derek and Natalie were right—you needed me to act, not attempt to manipulate you into making the first move,” Reaching out, he tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "I needed to change, my Emoni, or we were never getting here."

She rubbed at her achy temple. "Do you realise you always refer to me so possessively? Why do you do that? We're not even officially dating, but you talk about me as if I'm your significant other.” She argued.

The idea irritated her, because in truth, she'd wanted him to think of her in such a manner—had for a long time now—but Erik had always been impossible to pin down. Like a male butterfly, he'd always liked his freedom...and his women. Not that she'd been totally celibate over the years, but she couldn't boast near the number of partners he'd put to bed. And all along, even when he was with those other women, he'd shamelessly flirted with her, tossing out provocative innuendo or joking propositions that always ended in her scolding or itching to slap him, and invariably nursing a sore heart. It bothered her now that he would continue to play this game with her, especially as they'd obviously crossed a line last night.

"Where's my damn phone?" she asked, too tired to attempt looking for it.

Erik tore his eyes away from her and he scanned the room until he found her hand bag tossed on the floor beneath a lounge chair in his room. He took long strides to grab her bag and then he crossed over to her. He handed it to her and watched her open it, a relieved sigh escaping her mouth as she pulled it out. She checked the time and it was very late in the afternoon. No one had called her or texted. She went to her photos and there were over fifty pictures she’d taken.

She frowned at that. This could help.

"You're welcome," he said, looking at her.

"Oh, uh, thanks," she stammered after the fact, staring at her photo gallery, “But, um...I have a bunch of photos of us…do you?" She asked, "Is that karaoke?! Wait—a tattoo parlor?!!! Little White Chapel?!!! What the fuck?!"

Erik was silent for a long while in the face of that revelation, so she glanced up at him to find out why.

He was staring...no, glaring at her chest. The sheet had fallen and her titties were exposed. Deep brown areolas and thick, pointed nipples against tawny skin.

"Take that sheet off, Emoni," he demanded with a primal look in his eye, "Do it right now."

[good-chimes]

Cub takes over the Permit Office

A short textual recap of the Succession-style coup Cub just carried out (Timestamp: Grian s10 e21 14:40-29:30)

Grian, Scar and Skizz all receive a mysterious summons to a disciplinary hearing to discuss ‘restructuring’ at the Permit Office.

Scar and Skizz turn up thinking they’re in trouble with Grian. Grian, who has received two warnings for completely unfair reasons like ‘not doing his job’, knows he’s in trouble with Mysterious HQ Person (Grian, terrified but curious: Is it Doc??).

Waiting nervously, all three of them agree that their collective efforts are a shambles, a mild blame game ensues, also a horse is here and they can’t kill it because Judge Bdubs would object.

A flying figure approaches.

To Grian and Skizz’s surprise and Scar’s delight, it’s Cub.

Cub times his slow-falling potions to sink slowly and dramatically to the ground in a completely horizontal position. (Cub: Hello, boys) (Scar: Hello, God!)

Cub has a red tie and a gold name tag and performs an immediate show of dominance by taming the horse and handing out golden apples.

Scar: yeah that horse was—

Cub: it’s my horse now

Grian, eating the apple: He’s trying to butter us up. Skizz, don’t eat the apples.

Cub: Grian, I have some excellent news for you, my friend. You’re fired.

Grian: I’m what—

Cub: And also rehired! To a lesser position.

Grian: So I’m, what, assistant permit manager?

Cub: assistant TO the permit manager.

Cub: that’s me.

Cub: I’m sorry you had to find out this way

Grian: [into his hands] I’m so relieved I hate this job so much

Grian: IT’S NOT FUN AND I CAN’T CONTROL IT. LOOK AT THE SHOPPING DISTRICT. THERE’S POP UP SHOPS EVERYWHERE.

Grian: even I’ve got a pop up shop!!

Cub: Grian and I share a similar sentiment, which is that the permits shouldn’t exist

Cub: which is why we both have these jobs

Scar: But… but it was you two who came up with the idea of permits in the first place!

Cub: yeah

Cub: but you were supposed to enforce it

At this point it should be noted Cub has variously a) claimed he's been sent by the higher ups and he didn't want to do this but, boys, he has to, b) claimed he is one of the higher ups, c) claimed he's 'quite high up but not so much' d) vehemently denied that there exists anyone who has a fancier name tag than he does

Cub forces them into an immediate tour of the shopping district

There really are pop up shops everywhere

Cub: Alright, here's some TNT.

Grian: er! wait! I dunno—!

Cub: What.

Grian: Maybe we should give people some warning?

Cub: Hm

Scar: We did! We have a thing! I built a redstone countdown clock! [waves at the contraption of stacked red-yellow-white pillars he spent several weeks on]

Grian: Scar, that HASN'T MOVED SINCE YOU BUILT IT

Scar: It does move! It's just going slowly!

Cub: We need to move faster.

Scar: I can adjust it. This is 2024 advanced redstone. I can change it. [flies off]

Skizz: Can he really—

Grian, resigned: He's just going to mine it. [Scar mines it]

Skizz: Can I take a shot at him?

Cub: Fire away, Skizz

Grian: I'm not sure about this new management!

Meanwhile Cub has been contemplating the nearest popups in a critical way.

Cub: I'm going to be honest, I'm part of this glass collective, and even I want to see this one blown up.

Grian: Look, boss, what if we put a big billboard up that says 'Pop up purge'... certain date.

Cub: Hm.

Cub: That's very reasonable. I was just going to blow stuff up, but if you want to do that, I think it's a good choice.

Grian: How much time are you giving them, boss?

Skizz: Well, that's what the timer was—

Scar: I HAVE A TIMER! IT'S COUNTING DOWN!

Cub: We want to do this lickety-split. Let's go two weeks.

Grian: [repeating to himself under his breath] Two weeks!

Scar: I'll program the redstone!

Cub: You program it in, Scar. Grian, you make the billboard. Skizz…

Skizz: Yeah?

Cub: …you keep on keeping on, baby.

Cub: You've been the background of this whole operation, Skizz.

Skizz now dramatically attempts to get them to a high point so they can look at the layout of the shopping district, a simple task stymied only by the fact Scar and Grian both refuse to take any instructions unless they come from Cub

Cub then orders that pop up shops will be confiscated to Scar and Skizz's enforcement office. Grian very curious about the punishment for permit violations. Scar suggests banishing violators to the far reaches by Doc's 'shooty-offy cannon'. Cub approves this exile penalty enthusiastically.

Cub: Alright.

Grian: There's a storm comin'.

Scar: [looks up at the blue sky] Really?

Skizz: Us. He means us.

Grian: It's more like a moderate breeze.

Skizz: Well, that's official, we're under new management! And the tone I’m getting is that Rub-a-Dub-Cub is not messin’ around.

Cub: You guys gotta get to it.

[Actual in-game storm starts]

Grian: There is a storm coming.

Scar: A storm of pain!

Grian: [to Cub] I'm so relieved. I couldn’t keep control of any of this.

Cub: It's alright, Grian. [PEAL OF IN-GAME THUNDER] We'll keep people in line.

Grian: It feels like the permit office has taken a really dark turn

Cub: Nah, it'll be fine. People will care about their permits! [MORE THUNDER] People will comply :)

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Hero Box: Delivery of the Vile

Art & writing collaboration with @theavocadojam for the @d2artevents Brand Your Guardian zine! Link to Ao3 if you prefer to read it there.

"Kieran! It is good to see you."

The banging of pots and pans from the kitchen in the back formed a cacophonous counterpoint to Eris Morn's calm demeanor as she greeted Kieran Nor at the Drifter's new bento box delivery stall in the Last City market. Her glowing orb floated eerily between her hands.

Kieran nodded to Eris with a smile and approached the counter where she stood next to the cash register.

"I trust the Drifter has already provided you with sufficient instructions regarding your job duties. I have prepared this document to accompany your delivery." Eris paused and then continued. "The Drifter requested I ensure you understood this one to be... lickety... split." Eris said the last two words slowly as though she had never heard them before and was confused as to their meaning.

She gestured ominously with one hand toward a stack of hot, slightly greasy, boxes. One of them was dripping an unnatural phosphorescent substance. The Drifter's "Hero Box" logo was cheerfully emblazoned on each one.

Kieran's ghost, Blinx, floated over, spun his Fervent shell once, and then transmatted the containers into his inventory.

"I have also taken the liberty of sending coordinates to your ghost." Eris added.

Kieran looked down at the lettering on the parchment Eris had given him. Blinx hovered over his shoulder.

"Eris," Blinx asked. "Am I reading these coordinates right? Are we delivering this to... the Pyramid in Savathun's Throne World?"

"That assessment is accurate," Eris intoned.

“Who the hell’s ordering food in there?!” Kieran muttered.

There was a small explosion in the back.

"Dammit!" The Drifter's voice came from behind the door followed by an especially loud clanging and the hiss of escaping steam.

Eris stiffened in mild alarm and looked at the closed door behind her.

"I'm fine!" the Drifter's voice added.

Eris sighed and her three-eyed gaze returned to Kieran.

"I asked him the same question. His response was that the recipient had paid a premium for a lack of inquiry and that you would, likewise, be appropriately compensated for your own."

Kieran raised his eyebrows.

"So he just... didn't ask?" he asked Eris.

"Indeed," Eris confirmed.

"That's insane," Blinx said, widening his shell. "Why would he do that?"

"I believe it is part of his... business plan." Eris twitched the fingers of one hand and her Ahamkara bone floated over to one of the posters the Drifter had hastily put up along the side of the stall. The words "We deliver everywhere! No questions asked!" were in bright colours at a diagonal along the bottom third of the sign.

"...and," Eris added as her glowing orb returned to her hands, "...the delivery was also promised to be in... under thirty minutes."

Kieran heaved a long sigh and prepared to transmat.

Less than ten minutes later, Kieran was in the Throne World. He rode his Sparrow as far as he could but whoever designed the Pyramid seemed to have built it expressly to prevent anyone from taking a Sparrow inside. Jerks.

Normally Kieran preferred to use Stasis, but for this particular job, speed was of the essence and if he couldn't drive through, he was going to need some extra mobility. Arc energy coursed through him as he went through the first Pyramid entrance at a dead run.

"...really convenient you ended up coming by for this right now." Fynch prattled on in Kieran's helmet.

"Oh?" Blinx asked over the comms link so Kieran could focus on running. "Why is that?"

"The team Ikora sent to clear this place out? They got lost in the Miasma and the Vanguard said they had higher priorities and to just wait. Worm breeding grounds are almost completely overrun."

Blinx sighed. "Wonderful."

Kieran turned his Lodestar Trace Rifle on a swarm of Screebs rushing toward him. They burst in sequence with a popping sound, painting the flooring with splashes of Dark Ether.

"I can't believe we have to fight our way through." Blinx complained to Fynch. "Who orders food in the middle of a warzone behind enemy lines?"

"Gotta admit I'm stumped on that one too," Fynch answered. "Let me know if you find out. Sure is weird."

Kieran triple-jumped, swapping out the Trace Rifle for a Grenade Launcher and landed a shot on a Scorn Abomination square in the middle of its rotting chest. He then swapped back to the Trace and proceeded to fry several Raiders as they fired on him while he slid on his knees.

The purple Void missiles from the now-dead Raiders bounced and scattered around Kieran as he leaned back and continued to slide under the low opening formed by a stone slab which was moving upward far too slowly for his liking. Then, with a rolling tumble forward, he was on his feet again continuing at a dead run, amplified with Arc Light.

The weird statuary and urns of the Pyramid's Dark City blurred in Kieran's vision as he blew past them heading deeper into the complex, effectively and efficiently removing all the Scorn which seemed to be bound and determined to get in his way.

Keimiks, Warden of the Harvest, was obviously not the recipient of the delivery order. But that was who Kieran came up against in the Incubation Chamber where his delivery needed to be made.

After mowing down several dozen Scorn, blowing up several Totems and getting some serious hits in on the Baron, Kieran found himself frustratingly teleported back to an area of the Dark City he'd already fought his way through.

"Dammit!" Blinx said in his ear. "This delay is going to eat into our delivery time. We need to get back in there fast!"

Kieran nodded quietly and increased his efforts, blowing through hostiles even more quickly than before, not stopping to take out any stragglers as long as his way forward was clear.

He'd just reached Keimiks again and managed to toss his Arc Staff right into the Scorn Baron's face when he was once more teleported back several rooms and prevented from finishing Keimiks off.

Kieran ground his teeth in frustration and channeled all his Light into his own mobility. The terrain around them seemed to blend together and the Ravagers and Stalkers fell crackling and jerking with electricity as Kieran ripped his way back through the Pyramid. Soon enough he was once more in the Incubation Chamber, tossing a Pulse Grenade at Keimiks' feet while emptying the entire magazine of his Cataphract GL3 Grenade Launcher into the oversized Scorn's face.

With a final gasp of Dark Ether the Baron fell to his knees and lay still.

Kieran, breathing heavily, ran over to the empty brazier in the middle of the room where his delivery coordinates had specified the order needed to be placed.

Blinx transmatted the dripping boxes down and Kieran slapped the parchment receipt Eris had given him on top of the stack.

"Four Hero Boxes," Kieran said, reading Eris' spidery script out breathlessly to the empty room. "Hive Nigiri, no wasabi. Wizard Fingers with extra Taken butter. Double order of Ascendant Eye Poppers." Kieran sucked in another lungful of air through his teeth. "And a Vanilla Vex Milk Flan. Hot and ready, as promised."

The dead mangled Scorn bodies scattered around them gave no response.

Blinx scanned the room. "This can't be happening. Did we just go through all that only for no one to even show up to pay and take the food?"

"Oh, I'll take the food, maggots. But I ain't payin' that scumbag Drifter anything."

Kieran and Blinx turned around to see Savathun's ghost, Immaru, gloating in the air behind them.

"Did... did Drifter know he was delivering to you?" Kiran asked, still catching his breath.

Immaru chortled as though this was the funniest joke ever. "Of course not. Mr. Ask-me-no-questions-I'll-tell-you-no-lies didn't ask. You glitter bums are so predictable"

"You stiff Drifter on the bill and you're getting blacklisted." Blinx snarled at the other ghost. "No more deliveries ever again, for all eternity."

"Nuh-uh," Immaru spun his shell and laughed. "He said thirty minutes or it's free." The tiny spiky Hive General leaned forward in the air. "You took thirty two."

"We were in this room three times!" Blinx practically shrieked. "We got teleported out twice!"

"Instructions were clear. Coordinates were given. You..." Immaru flexed the Hive chitin of his shell at Blinx. "...were slow. Now get the hell outta here before I call every Lucent Hive in the area down on your pathetic asses."

"Come on Blinx," Kieran said, his voice exhausted. "Let's go."

"Oh and thanks for dealing with my Scorn problem for me, jerkwads. Vanguard's been dragging its heels around here. I'll be sure to order food from that slimy basement creep again next time they slack off. You're so much cheaper than wasting my own resources, especially when your slow asses get me free dinner too."

"You!" Blinx began to rush toward Immaru. Kieran grabbed his ghost gently and walked out.

Be sure to check out the rest of the zine too!

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ortho Shroud - Cerberus Gear Voice Lines

Just a small reminder that Cerberus Ortho does not have a vignette.

When Summoned: Leave it to S.T.Y.X to handle magical calamities. We'll show that we have the world's greatest technological abilities!

Summon Line: Nii-san... Everyone, just you wait. I'll definitely come and save you all.

Groooovy!!: This is something that only I can do. That's why I have to go. This is the strength of my... "our" own determination!

Home: AI Data, migration completed.

Swap Looks: Resuming mission.

Home Idle 1: You can hide behind me. Don't worry, this body has high durability. No matter what happens, I'll protect you.

Home Idle 2: As long as I have this gear, I should be able to break through any strong magical barriers. I'll cut a path through.

Home Idle 3: The drive system and energy consumption is the pinnacle of efficiency. Mom's engineering skills are definitely top notch...

Home Idle - Login: Retrofitting complete. Commencing specialized anti-magical calamity functions with the 【Cerberus Gear】 attachment.

Home Idle - Groovy: We will definitely eliminate all disasters that emanate from blotting. That is both the mission and purpose of S.T.Y.X.

Home Tap 1: KB-RS01 gets its sustenance from electricity. But, for some reason, it also kind of likes pastries. Not that it can eat it, though.

Home Tap 2: The engineering division of S.T.Y.X is packed full of elite engineers. They all seem to be super interested in all the cutting-edge technology in my gear, too.

Home Tap 3: They both might be the pessimistic, downer types, but they're really reliable in a pinch. My dad and brother are really similar.

Home Tap 4: What's my brother like when we're back home? He's pretty much the same. He'll use chat functions to talk to the employees, and doesn't really talk to them, for the most part.

Home Tap 5: Careful! It's dangerous to reach out so suddenly like that. KB-RS02 might switch on his battle mode.

Home Tap - Groovy: The strongest person in our family has got to be my mom. She's usually nice, but... When she gets angry, she's really scary and no one's a match for her.

Duo: [ORTHO]: Let's clear this lickety-split, Nii-san! [IDIA]: Leave it to your big bro, Ortho!

Requested by @rotattooill.

[patibato]

[Kiroku SSR] Fantasy Ribs - Puffy Portrait Panic!

Part 1

Momiji: Phew. Finally finished the emergency shopping… oh, what's that?

There's a huge line over there… Is something going on?

??: Woof!

Momiji: Wait. That voice just now…

Shumai: Woof! Woof!

Momiji: Shumai!? What are you doing all the way out here… were you on a walk with someone?

Shumai: Woof.

*running*

Momiji: Ah, wait up…!

Shumai: Woof!

Momiji: That's…!

Young Man: Is it really no good? I've become so enamoured…

Kiroku: Ah… um…

Lady: Hey~ please, boy. I'd just love to have one of your…

Kiroku: Uh… um…

Momiji: Kiroku-kun!

Kiroku: …! Ch-Chief…

Momiji: What's up with this crowd…!

Kiroku: Uuh… um… -

Momiji: Ah, I know. Kiroku-kun, let's use PeChat!

Kiroku: …! Got, it.

> Kiroku: sorry i cant explain out loud

< Momiji: No worries, you're good. What happened?

> Kiroku: at first i was just sketching shumai by myself

> then some people came up and said they wanted me to draw their dogs too

> and i couldnt answer properly and now a bunch of people have gathered around and i dont know what to do

Momiji: I see… so you've been getting portrait requests. What do you want to do?

Kiroku: Ah… I, want…

> Kiroku: i like drawing animals so i want to do it if i can

> theyre all so cute

> and i think it could be good practice for giving hospitality by drawing portraits of tourists

Momiji: Got it! Could I help out, then? That way you'll be able to focus on the portraits.

Kiroku: …! …Thank, you…

Shumai: Woof!

Momiji: Shumai can help too. Alright, let's get these customers lined up lickety-split!

*sketching*

Kiroku: Here… It's… done.

Girl: Waaah! Mummy, look! The Taro the man drew is super cute!

Mother: It certainly is. Come on now, what do we say?

Girl: Thanks mister!

Kiroku: …Y-yeah. You're, wel… come…

Momiji: Thank you very much! Kiroku-kun, want to take a break?

Kiroku: …I want to… continue…

Momiji: Alright, but make sure you don't overdo it. Next in line please.

Kiroku: …

*sketching*

Momiji: (Kiroku-kun looks earnest… It's incredible how he's managed to stay focused the whole time despite doing quite a lot.)

(He even gets the finer details done neatly, like the collar designs and ribbon frills. I'm sure the owners will be happy with them.)

Kiroku: This one's… the last…

Lady: Oh dearie me! You drew him so adorably, isn't that wonderful Uu-chan?

Kiroku: Uu… chan…?

Uu-chan: Grr… awoo~…!

Lady: That would be my baby here, his name is actually Ulysses¹, but it's cute to call him Uu-chan.

Momiji: (With those sharp eyes, and that name… doesn't he resemble Ushio-kun a bit…?)

Uu-chan: Awooo! Bark!

Kiroku: !!

Lady: Wait! Uu-chan, where are you going!

Momiji: This is bad, after him!

Momiji: *pant, pant*… Doesn't look like he's here either… How about it, Shumai? Can you smell him?

Shumai: Woof… whimper…

Momiji: I see… I wonder where he went…

Lady: Uuu, Uu-chan…

Kiroku: …-…

…I… shouldn't have, drawn, that… portra…

Momiji: Huh?

Kiroku: When I… handed it over… her grip, on the lead, loosened… so that she… could look at, it.

Which meant… Uu-chan, could… escape…

Momiji: That's not your fault. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find—

Shumai: Woof!

Momiji: Ah, Shumai, don't just suddenly take off…!

Kiroku: …! Did he, find… him?

Momiji: There's some people over there, let's go ask!

¹The dog's name is actually William, which starts with a "ウ/U" when written in katakana, but obviously it starts with "W" in the Roman alphabet, so I changed it to a name starting with "U".

Part 2

Uu-chan: …Bark.

Lady: Uu-chan! You're safe…!

Kiroku: Thank good… ness…

Momiji: The portrait Kiroku-kun made came in really handy when talking to those people.

Shumai: Woof! Woof!

Kiroku: Thank you, too… Shumai.

Shumai: Woof!

Lady: Thank you all, truly. Here, have the treats I bought on my way to the park. Please do enjoy them.

Momiji: Wow, that's such a cute cookie tin! Are you sure?

Lady: I insist. This picture is so vivid, Uu-chan must have thought it was real and gotten startled.

That's how wonderful it is. I'm very grateful, boy!

Kiroku: …!

Thank you, too… I had… fun. Drawing… Uu-chan…

Momiji: (Kiroku-kun seems happy. What a relief…!)

Shumai: Yaaaw…oof.

Momiji: You worked really hard today, Shumai. You too, Kiroku-kun. Here, some hot chocolate. Let's eat the cookies we got earlier too.

Kiroku: …Thank, you.

Momiji: I'm glad everyone was happy, even with that incident.

…Still, all of the portraits were wonderful. I wonder if it's because you enjoyed drawing them—I could look at any of them forever and not feel bored.

Kiroku: …

In that, case… should I, draw, a portrait… of you, too…?

Momiji: What!? Really?

Kiroku: You helped… a lot, so… as thanks…

Momiji: I'd love that. Alright, please go right ahead!

*sketching*

Kiroku: …

Momiji: …

Kiroku: ……

Momiji: ………

(Th-this is bad…)

Kiroku: …

Momiji: (Kiroku-kun's staring directly at me…)

(So this is how it feels to have a portrait done. It's a little embarrassing…)

Option 1: Talk to him like this

Momiji: Ki-Kiroku-kun… is it okay to talk right now?

Kiroku: …?

Momiji: (He's not looking away…)

Um, how should I put this… This kind of thing, feels a little awkward…

Kiroku: …? What, does…?

Momiji: Well… staring at each other like this for so long, I guess…?

Kiroku: …

Kiroku: ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Momiji: Ah…! I-I'm sorry!? Even though you were concentrating, I…!

Kiroku: It… it's… al… ri… ght.

Option 2: Avert my gaze

Momiji: (Ah, I'll try looking at his hands. That way—)

Kiroku: …Chief.

Momiji: Wh-what?

Kiroku: Look… this way.

Momiji: Huh!?

Kiroku: I want to, draw you, while looking, at you, properly… Because, your eyes… are very… pretty.

Momiji: I-I see… thank you…

Kiroku: I'm… done.

Momiji: Uwah…! It's so colourful, but so coordinated at the same time. My own face looks so radiant here…! You really are incredible, Kiroku-kun!

Kiroku: …-…

Momiji: I really like it. Thank you so much! I'll go put it up in my room right away.

Kiroku: Ah… wai…

Momiji: Hm?

Kiroku: Uu……

Momiji: Ah, wanna use PeChat?

Kiroku: N-no… I'll use, my own, words…

Momiji: Alright, got it.

Kiroku: …

The reason, your portrait… is so colourful… is… because, I drew you… the way I, see… you.

To me… you're… someone who's, always… surrounded by, smiles… Both from, the people around you… and, your own, as… well.

So you're… overflowing with… all sorts of, colour. Sparkling and… dazzling.

Momiji: Kiroku-kun…

(The words he's getting out bit by bit are making me feel all warm inside.)

Kiroku: I'd like you to… keep showing me, lots of colours. …Thank you, for, today.

Momiji: …That's my line! Let's keep getting along from here on out too.

[rottingdotratt]

Obscura boys 3d model notes/process 😝😝

With the final dude created and this little project coming to a close I thought it'd be fun to put together a little overview with some of my thoughts about each one

Up first we got Oleander

I decided to do oleander first because I knew he would be the most annoying. And he was. Though I'm not sure if that's moreso because of him or because he was the third vroid model I made ever. He definitely took the longest but I also think he turned out really nice 😋 as long as you ignore his jacket clipping through itself every time he moves

4/10 overall experience

After oleander I made Keir because he is boring. because his black and brown color pallet and practical fashion sense seemed like a nice pallette cleanser. Though I never could've imagined just HOW FUCKING ANNOYING HIS GIANT BOOBS WERE OH MY GOD TRYING TO DRAW STRAIGHT LINES ACROSS HIS MASSIVE HONKERS WAS A NIGHTMARE THEY WARP AND DEFORM EVERYTHING WITHIN A 10 MILE RADIUS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ also his hair was super annoying but it was doable. He probably took the least amount of time all together but I kept putting it off so it took way longer

6/10 overall experience

After Keir I made Francesco because I asked on the discord who I should make next and 1 person said Fran 😎😎😎 he went pretty fast I felt, maybe it was because I was getting the hang of vroid finally or maybe it's cause I was listening to Pinkerton. it all went pretty well except for THAT STUPID FUCKING MIDDLE PART OH MY GOD YOU WOULDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE BUT IT WAS THE WORST HAIRSTYLE I HAD TO MAKE HANDS DOWN NO COMPETITION AND THEN WHEN I CONVERTED HIM TO PMX ALL THE PHYSICS WERE WHACK AND HE LOOKED LIKE HE HAD HORRIBLE STATIC CLING SO I HAD TO FIX HIS HAIR AND EXPORT HIM A SECOND TIME‼️‼️‼️‼️ but other than that he was smooth sailing and very polite

8/10 overall experience

And last but not least Cirrus

Ok I think I cheated for this one.. Like there's this vtuber named Pallas in the discord who already made Cirrus assets for vroid and they graciously let me use them so I didn't have to make the scarf, the shoes, or that dangly charm thing he has which are all the hardest parts so all I really did was make the hair, the mask, and the robe which I did lickety split😝😝😝 I'm not complaining though

9/10 overall experience

WAIT WE'RE NOT DONE YET🤯🤯🤯🤯 BONUS MODEL

my vespersona Lepidoptera

She was the second vroid model I made ever and she has the jank to prove it 😎😎😎 but without her the other dudes would not exist because what's the point of making 4 boyfriends if there isn't somebody for them to be 4 boyfriends for. And I guess I also learned a lot about making textures and using the hair tool and vroid in general and the separate program that can make textures transparent even though I didn't use it for any of the obscura dudes

I don't really have anything to say about her process besides making your own ocs is a cakewalk compared to characters you didn't make because you know what their back looks like even if you haven't drawn it

8/10 overall experience

Ok now I'm done 😋 thanks for reading

[bylerbigbang]

Switcheroo, In Your Shoes

Fic by @foodiewithdahoodie | Art by @jiuwann

Rated Teen | 36k words

Before high school, Mike and Will thought they'd be thick as thieves along with the rest of the party. However, they discover that they don't have any classes together and drift apart making new friends outside of their childhood friends or focus on their separate hobbies. Then, a rumor happens that further puts a wedge in between Mike and Will. Now, on graduation night, Mike and Will try to make amends and perhaps confess their feelings, only for things to go astray as the next day they have switched bodies. After not seeing eye to eye in so long, perhaps this is their chance to be in each other's shoes.

Warnings: smoking, underage drinking, F slurs, slut-shaming mention, implied sexual content (dreams, imaginations, seeing the other naked implicitly, attempted non-explicit first time - doesn't pan out because they're in each other's bodies), getting outed, AIDs reference, coming out, bullying, rumor has it

Read on Ao3 | View Art

Read an excerpt below:

“We’re gonna be late.” Will laughs to subside his desires and curiosities, ignoring how attentive Mike is being with him, and checks his wristwatch.

A matching one is around Mike’s wrist, same brand and model and year. They bought them together with their saved piggy bank allowances and the looting of couch cushions for loose change. Pooling their funds to have watches that rival Nancy's friendship bracelets she made with Barb.

“We’ll make it.” Mike promises, skillfully doing a four-in-knot tie. Big talk from a guy who’s regularly tardy to anything timed. Will decides to be nice and not bring up his doubts. When has Mike steered him wrong?

Folding the fabric lickety-split, Mike gets to work; pushing the wide end of the tie through the loop, forming the knot, slipping the end of the fabric through the knot and keeping it straight, to finally pulling the narrow end upward and taut on Will’s neck.

“Too loose? Too tight?” Mike tilts his head sideways inquisitively.

“Just right. Thanks.” Will hoarsely replies and drums his fingers on his thighs, restless.

“No problem.” Mike whispers and doesn’t remove himself.

Will looks at Mike’s stationary hands, timidly smiling and biting back a chuckle. “Are you gonna let go of me anytime soon?”

Mike says nothing in response. He simply and slowly nods with an unreadable expression that Will can’t decipher. Little by little, Mike statically withdraws, sliding his hands down inch by inch, fingers smoothing the fabric until reaching the pointed tip of Will’s tie pinched between his thumb and index finger. Neither of them make a move to leave for the ceremony. They just stand there, lost in a moment they don’t want to acknowledge, staring bashfully at their feet because eye contact would make it too heartfelt.

Will has to hurry, his last name puts him in the second row. Very noticeable for the audience to see him tiptoeing to his seat. Mike can get away with slithering into his chair, perks of having a surname grouped with the last-letters-of-the-alphabet kids. Instead of parting ways, they gradually and courageously look at each other, their locked eyes conveying enormous emotions, words they wish to say palpable in the silence, lips tingling to free their thoughts and unburden their hearts.

Will is the first to spin on his heels, admiring himself in the mirror and squashing his relapsing hope that there could be something more that Mike leaves unsaid. Through the reflection, he subconsciously locks eyes again with Mike's large and sparkling ones.

Fiddling with his tie dozily, Will talks to Mike’s reflection. It’s easier to do than facing the real thing. “You gotta teach me sometime.”

“Definitely.”

“Well, we better go!”

“Yeah—Hey, wait!” Mike exclaims abruptly, his outburst pausing Will's receding footsteps. “Uh, can you, um, sign my yearbook?”

Gobsmacked, Will gawks at Mike, shyly laughing and raising an incredulous brow. “You mean right now?”

“Uh-huh! I mean—No! I mean later! Later! I have it stashed in my car.” Mike clarifies,

[missamyrisa2]

A tickle probe and milking machine… used for collection and sensory research.. I promise I’m a good boy… I don’t need any treatment…

You being a good boyyyy is exactly whyyy you need this treatment ~ you won't be naughty noooo not at allll as you are scanned and locked into the machine with all the examination tools spinning and buzzing around. Don't worry about the restraints on your wrists and ankles and chest, that's just normal procedure for your safety. It'll be over so fast, just lickety-split as the feather probes begin humming and twirling down to your navel and hipsss. Just routine examinations and reflex tests, nothing to worry your pretty little head about. The fuzz is designed to stimulate your nerves and help facilitate our data gathering.

Oohh? What was that sound? Now, I know that wasn't a giggle. You're a good boy and you wouldn't laugh at such a serious procedure now would you? Hmm I didn't think so. Now let's get back on track and get those probes up to your underarms so we'll just adjust the frame and lift your arms and go down those muscles. Yes, it's quite necessary for the probes to tremble like that and make those clicky sounds. I know it doesn't bother you because you're a good boy.

My, my. At least, I thought you were. My my my. Making such rude squeaks and giggles now? You'd better keep it together dear, I need to probe under those toes now. Yes, a fuzzy feather probe buzzing under each one. We have to do this in sequence after all. One toe and then the next and then, you guessed it, the next toe. Buzzing and feathering and stimulating. And hmmm ~ let's get the navel probe going faster now. Yes, in and out. Get allll the data from your bellybutton now.

My goodness ~ a moan? Why, I never. Good boys don't make such sounds and oooooooh dear, oooh junebugs, loook at this! Why, you aren't a good boy at all! You're so hard! Naughty naughty thing you. Dirty dirty dirty, getting so awfully aroused from a routine examination? There's only one treatment for a naughty thing like you. We need to drain you dry. Why yes, I do believe we'll be employing the milking machine module now. Oh, are we scared now? I see you shrinking there. Nope, nope nope. You aren't escaping this you awful arouser.

Let's just turn these probes up. Yes, now that I know what these do to you we'll just up your volume and frequency and ~ there we goooo, feather probes buzzing in your armpits and along your sides, and I'll bet you're even sensitive on these hips you naughty thing you. Ah. There we go. Be naughty. I need you extra naughty for the milking. Let's get those buzzies under your toes realllly twirling. Ooh, here it comes dirty boy, look at that. Yes, that red cap is coming for your nasty nasty part. The cap elongates into this sleeve and the insides are specially coated to extract a maximum payload of that ~ that nasty stuff.

Don't you worry your pretty head, we'll get you fixed up right quick. We're gonna get allll that naughtiness out of you, all of it. Yes, yes. Just pull the clicky crank and ~~~ theeere we goooo. There's a boyyyy. The milker likes youuuu. No no, you can't fight this. It won't be removed, nope. And the tickles are gonna keep you just so naughty and making those awful awful sounds. We'll get every naughty giggle and dirty moan out of you, I promise my formerly good boyyyy. We'll get you back to your goodness in no time and then you can sleep it off in the back lounge where we have plenty of giggle therapists on hand to make sure you are completely drained and recovered .

But for now just try to relax ~ anddd who am I kidding ~ you aren't going to relax. You're going to thrash and squirm so perfectly for me. So hotly, as you get so pink in the skin and worked up. Because listen to me ~ the machines aren't stopping. Nope. You're going to be probed and stimulated and drained until you've got nothing left in that naughty pool. Yes, buck and fight it. Give me all your energy. The machine can't be deterred. The milker has you and she's not letting goooo ~ and neither are the feather probes. In fact, let's add one to each of those naughty tush cheeks too ~ put you in your place. Yes, now you can't not buck right into that milker. Mmhmm. Don't resist it. You're gonna give me allll those honeydrops now, all of them. All your giggles too. I'm taking every one of them and then we're taking you in the back to drain you more.

And guess what ~ naughtiness can't be cured, I'm afraid. It can only be mitigated. That means we need to routinely drain you, flush alll that bad stuff out ~ but don't worryyyy we have the best in scanning tech and we'll be checking in on you regularly from now on. And you bet your pennies we'll be there to snatch you up so your naughtiness stays contained, every time. Now then, let's seeee what other sounds we can get outta ya ~<3

[garciaasfluffypen]

stand down

word count: 1.7k pairing: jennifer jareau & bau team warnings: jj’s an idiot who refuses to take care of herself, canon typical violence, gun/gunshot mentions, a/n: based off of the bullet list i wrote earlier last year of jj being hard of hearing/partially deaf because she’s all i can think about right now.

everything was fine. 

not.

jj adjusted in her seat yet again as she struggled to understand what was going on, the ringing in her ear becoming more and more prominent as the meeting went on. being in rural kansas had it's perks, but the random unit meetings to explain to the whole station what was happening roughly every day was not one of them. she found herself sinking to the back, sitting farther away from hotch so he didn’t jump to her for parts of the profile. everyone else could deal with it. and if she were being honest, the room was getting a bit stuffy and everyone’s voices were getting muffled. 

air. that’s what she needed. she needed air. 

knowing that she only had a few minutes before the team and the rest of the unit went out to find the guy they were looking for. garcia had worked her magic that morning, and it was only seconds before she had pinpointed his location. she was hoping nobody could tell that the ringing was bothering her, but considering that she’s had her airpod in all day and had to take it out, she wasn’t sure how easy that was going to be. the listening feature had become her saving grace over the past few months, using it to help hear things around her. it helped that she wore her hair down a majority of the time, so she was able to cover it. but when they went out on missions, it became harder. the volume only went up so high on the ear pieces, and she’s sure she’d be found out lickety split if they happened to look at how high she kept the volume. 

out of the corner of her eye, she saw emily poke her head out of the door, her words mumbling together. something along the lines of are you okay? if only she still had her airpod in. 

“yeah, sorry, needed air. i’ll be there in a second.” 

she took a big breath and made sure she looked mostly composed before heading back inside, silently following the team to where they had stored their gear that morning. she went through the steps like a zombie, knowing that something rough might happen if she didn’t pull her a-game out of her ass. that was, presuming it was in there at all. she hadn’t seen it lately, and it was beginning to bother her. it was probably the fact that instructions had been going in one ear and out the other recently, but she frankly didn’t want to deal with that at the moment. she just wanted to curl up in the hotel bed, catch up on the news and go to sleep before the team flew out back to dc. that wasn’t too much to ask for, right? 

out of habit, she put the earpiece on her right ear, the volume going all the way up. she stuck the mic pack in her back pocket, clipping the chord to her fbi vest as hotch rattled off instructions. she had started to realize she was getting every other word, but that was probably because her bad ear was occupied with the ear piece, making it so she had to listen out of her left. a majority of what hotch was saying was pretty standard, stuff she already knew. did she maybe miss a key point or two? probably. she needed to get herself into gear and pretend everything was fine. even though it wasn’t fine and she probably was putting herself at a greater risk of being hurt while going out to the field with hearing problems. but that was a problem for future jj.

the ride to the farm where the unsub was hiding was relatively short, giving jj the smallest amount of time to mentally prepare for what she was about to go through. instructions were being rattled off left and right, words barely registering as she watched everyone go around her. she once again stayed towards the back, hoping that it would help her feel less seen. she felt a pair of eyes on her, but brushed it off. now was not the time to be worrying about her. hotch split everyone up and got the ransom phone ready, about to press the call button when jj heard the sound of gunshots. everyone ran out, jj following emily and morgan towards one of the cars and ducking down. from what she was gathering, one of the local unit members had made a commotion and startled the unsub, causing him to start shooting. that left her team in a very compromising position, considering ransom requests hadn’t even been made yet. 

“what are we going to do?” morgan looked back to jj and emily. “i don’t like not having orders.” 

“just wait for hotch to say something. we technically don’t have to listen to bitch ass mcgee over there who’s making all the wrong calls.” 

jj nodded, agreeing. “em’s right. just wait for hotch to say something. we’re ready to go if need be.”

as if on cue, more gunshots rang out. the three jumped into position, waiting for the hand signal from rossi to start shooting. the local units were running all around them, almost as if they were chickens with their heads cut off. as more gunshots flew around them, jj could feel the ringing coming back, inwardly cursing at the horrible timing. she started concentrating hard, making sure she could pick up noises with her good ear to make sure she had somewhat of an understanding as to what was going on around her. everything was a blur as they waited and waited for the cue to come. finally, hotch’s voice cracked through the earpiece. 

“stand down, everyone.”

she cupped her hand over her ear, attempting to understand what hotch was saying. 

“do not engage.” 

she scrunched her face. she heard him say engage. why wasn’t anyone moving? without a second thought, jj lurched forward, leaving her spot from behind the car and ducking down as a slew of gunshots rang out. there were a few possible ways to go in- one was more covered, the other wasn’t but had a more direct line to the front door. or, if she felt adventurous, she could go around to the back and head in through one of the windows that had been busted in the midst of everything or the side door. hotch was yelling something in her ear, but the sounds were all muffled as she got closer to the house. she could feel emily and morgan staring at her back, but she refused to turn around. she couldn’t take their stares of confusion as she made her way towards the house, barrel rolling behind a bush before the unsub could see her. more and more words were failing to register in her brain as she tried to figure out her plan of action. she could see the unsub pacing in the front room, meaning if she went in the side door she had a better chance of catching him off guard. 

she made her way to the side of the house, slowly opening the side door. in the window she saw emily and morgan aiming their guns while rossi and spencer made their way to the other vehicle the units were using as a shield. as slowly and quietly as she could, she made her way down the hallway, her breathing shallow so she didn’t make too much noise. she paused outside of the room dustin was in, straining to hear what he was saying. she couldn’t hear much, since he was talking under his breath. she rounded the corner, his name barely falling from her lips before he turned around with a handgun pointed at her.

pop! pop!

dustin fell to the floor, his gun flying across the floor as jj moved closer to him. she had missed his heart, going closer to his lungs. that was good. they could get him to the hospital for treatment and questioning. the team had an idea of his motive, but didn’t know the whole story. they probably never would know the whole story, since they were leaving tomorrow. but from what she remembered, some people talked within hours of waking up from the anesthesia. she hoped dustin would be one of them. 

the rest of the team filed in, the local units closely following as everyone spread out around the house. jj stood off to the side, recounting every step she took meticulously, as she knew the paperwork would be a bitch since she had to use her weapon. she felt a figure pop up beside her on the left, taking a second to let her know he was there before speaking. 

“are you okay?” rossi looked over to her.

“yeah, fine.” jj nodded. 

“that was ballsy.” 

“hm?” it took a second to register. “i was following orders.”

“orders to not engage?” 

he said do not engage. 

oh.

“i-”

“it’s okay, kid. everyone is in denial when their hearing starts to go.” rossi patted her on the back. “do you want me to talk to hotch before you do?”

“no i… i fucked up. i need to own up to it.” jj wrung her hands together. “it was my own fault.” i could have listened more closely. i could have done better.

“don’t beat yourself up over it. he’ll be upset, but he’ll understand.” 

“but what if he doesn't?”

“i’ll throw him in quantico creek to teach him a lesson.” 

jj chuckled lightly before heading towards the front of the house, stepping to the side as dustin was rolled off on a stretcher. she saw hotch standing by the ransom phone, talking to the chief of the local unit. with a breath, she made her way over and waited for him to be done talking. 

“rossi mentioned you wanted to talk to me?” she took the earpiece off her ear. 

“yes.” hotch sighed. “when were you going to tell me you were struggling with your hearing?” 

jj didn’t respond. 

“what you did today was pretty fucking dangerous, jj. i gave orders to not engage. you, more than anyone on this team, should understand the importance of ransom needs being met before attempting to engage. i need to know you’re with me.” 

“i am.” 

“i’m giving you the weekend off, call your doctor and get your hearing checked when we get home. after that, you’re not allowed in the field unless i see fit, are we clear?” 

“yes sir.”

hotch’s features softened. “all that aside, are you okay?” 

“i…” jj paused. “i’ll be fine.” 

at least, that was the hope. 

[dogueteeth-fhr]

ooooooo 4 or 11 (or both) for the fhr prompts?

Thank you for the prompt! Cheshire took over me for this one :3

11. Babysitting Spoon for a day.

He's terribly warm, for something so small and thin. Even when he trembles and whines, begging for Cheshire's hand to keep patting him with big tapioca pearl eyes, the heat he exudes is something she almost would have expected from his handler, not from this twig of a dog.

Regardless, Cheshire sighs, frowning down at the pup who rolls over to have his underbelly given attention. Cheshire really wishes that he understood why in the world Steel thought that she was the perfect person to dogsit. The two of them aren't even close. In fact— and yes, certainly this is it— Cheshire is quite certain that this is some form of psychological warfare disguised as a show of trust. Yes, that would be Marshal Steel's angle, wouldn't it?

It's no secret that Cheshire doesn't like dogs.

It would be unfair to say that she hates them. It would even be a disservice to say that he dislikes them. He thinks that every dog is great and wonderful and everything a person never could be.

So long as they keep a twenty foot difference away from her— and even that is generous of zir.

She knows how fast they can turn. Lickety-split, quicker than lightning to a rod, ivory goring flesh as the handler barks orders and Cheshire is sent stumbling back in line. They don't bother to heal the bites. There was no pain in such lessons to stay back, stay in line, blocked by the gate in zir spine, so a lesson had to be learned in other ways. The fear of infection, sepsis. Of being rendered inert- a useless, blunt tool meant to be scrapped for parts. To be submitted to the ridicule of the others, fingers twitching louder against zir ears than rattling branches on a window. The shame. The fear. Being small. Tiny. Weak. Cradling his arm, praying the stitches and antiseptic would stay.

Even Spoon could leave his legacy on Cheshire's wrist if he so desired.

The thought churns his stomach and Cheshire's hand retracts from Spoon as if she'd been burned, leaving the dog whining and worried as Cheshire shrinks away. Zir mind is sharp and coiled, curdled on her tongue, spoiled and rotten just like everything about her. Just like everything about the world. People. Zirself.

"It's alright," she says, offering the worried greyhound a wan mile, voice honey as he gulps back the soured milk in zir chest. He doesn't dare touch Spoon's mind when hers is like this. He doesn't deserve it. Chen would have her head, too. Chen doesn't deserve that... even as annoying as he is.

Daniel would be mad at him too, wouldn't he?

Cheshire can't stop the small smile from zir face at the thought of him. Even far away, the thought of him clears the clouds from his head. Makes curdled milk turn pillowy soft yogurt, even makes Spoon lurching to lick away at his face not so scary, not so bad. Minus the breath smell.

Daniel is just as bad with Spoon as Cheshire is.

Uncertain, a little jumpy. Unable to fully predict the dog's wants and needs, unable to fully read his movements. Julia is different. Sure. Confident. Even when she gets it wrong, bouncing back like the mistakes she made never mattered all along.

Cheshire sighs, giving up on pushing Spoon back. Zir eyes still wander the room, as if she were being watched. It still makes zir stomach churn to let zir guard down. Force zir muscles soft, let Spoon climb down into her lap. Let himself look as tired as she feels. As small.

"How am I going to do this?" She whispers to Spoon in the dark, gingerly scratching his ears. His little eyes are intent, wide, listening; little tapioca pearls of attention and affection, and she can't help but give his little forehead a kiss. Zir hand softly holding his muzzle. Never forgetting.

Daniel.

Julia.

Sometimes the lies grate. Sometimes zir teeth ache between kisses. Lies growing like cavities, sweetened and smoothed with diversions and secrets. But it's better for everyone involved, isn't it? What people don't know won't hurt them. Julia doesn't need to know her best friend and situationship beat her bloody at the gala. Daniel doesn't need to know his fucked-up lover broke his knee beyond repair. Chen doesn't need to know he trusted a killer to babysit his dog.

No one ever needs to know.

"It'll all be over soon," He murmurs into Spoon's fur, stroking the silver silk, allowing herself the weakness of a hug, the shame of curling into the happy, warm, trusting body that believes zir hands could never hurt.

One way or another.

Good end or bad.

This masquerade will be over soon.

[vomitingstars]

It's a Sleepover Baby! Pt. 1

FunShine Jill x Fem!Reader

Summary: FunShine Jill and y/n have an epic girls night adventure. Typical girl stuff like decorating cupcakes and practicing kissing?

Contains: manipulation, sneaky shit, Jill is a sneaky perv, this is just the intro the real shit begins in part 2

"Come on, Sunspot! It's Saturday. We can't spend all day in bed wasting away." Jill gently attempts to shake your groggy body awake. Whines of exhaustion escaped your lips.

"Jill, please. I'm 'eepy..." Your buff bestie lifted your limp body out of bed and slung you over her shoulder, then carried you off to the bathroom to help you freshen up. You felt a little jealous of her. She always looked so well put together. Constantly energized. Hair perfect. That sweet scent. Maybe that's one of the perks of being dead?

"Yeah yeah. You can rest later tonight. Just relax and let me take care of you~" Jill wets your toothbrush and applies a splat of toothpaste with a little giggle. He well manicure hand gently pries your mouth open. Thrusting the toothbrush in your gaping maw without hesitation. You could've sworn there was something a bit off with her smile. Your brows knit together in a moment of protest but she's quick to notice in the mirror. Distracting you with chit chat about your plans tonight.

"We'll decorate cupcakes, sing karaoke, paint each other's nails, tell spooky ghost stories! Oh, I'm so excited!" Lost in her excitement, Jill thrusted the toothbrush a little too far back towards your throat, causing you to gag. She apologized for accidentally causing you to choke.

You glared at her. Could've sword there was just the tiniest smirk on her face for a split second. Well, it wasn't much of a glare. It was more of an annoyed pout. "I'm not letting you brush my teeth anymore. You like it too much."

Jill whines about you being unfair and just wanting to make your life easier. Your brain isn't fully awake right now though. You're only half aware of the fact that she's done washing your face and carrying you off to the kitchen table for breakfast. She's prepared a fruit salad and blueberry muffins. It's tasty and really shakes off that tired, low energy feeling.

You ghostly gal pal carries you off princess style to the bathroom once more and strips off your pajamas. "You always seem to forget I have legs." You comment while shaking your head with a laugh. It's not a real complaint. If anything, you love being held. Jill makes you feel small, but in a good way. At least most times that is. She preps a bath for the two of you. The bath is mostly Jill chatting your ear off about her adventures in Cloudy Town as she scrubs your body thoroughly. She really doesn't miss a single spot. You would feel embarrassed if you hadn't grown accustomed to Jill's touchy feeling treatment.

You used to cover your body and ask for privacy. For her to leave the room or at least turn around when you change clothes. Of course, Jill managed to help you see, it really isn't a big deal. "Come on, Sunshine, we're both gals. It's nothing I haven't seen before! We're both girls so it's okay right?" You guess it makes sense. It's the same thing as changing in the locker room. Right? So why did this feel different? More...intimate?

The day passes by quickly as the two of you finished up the prep work for your sleepover. You went over your mental slumber party checklist. Sparkly pink drinks, a large pizza with your favorite toppings, and a slasher film playing on tv. The kitty kitchen timer rang loudly, letting everyone know the tray of cupcakes you had baked were ready to come out of the oven.

Jill pulls them out, lickety-split. Admiring the scent as they sat out of the oven to cool. Jill seemed really fond of the 80s slasher film you had put on. She sat you down in her lap and randomly started braiding your hair and chatting your ear off. She knows you're tender-headed and makes you squirm a little. She stifles a little chuckle when you do, and playfully scolds you for moving too much.

"Keep still, Sunspot or I'll have to start over." She wouldn't dare. Oh wait. She would. And she did. You're pretty sure she just wanted an excuse to hold you close. Jill really is an affectionate one. And you're pleasantly surprised when she holds a rose gold mirror up to your face so you can see the fruits of her labor.

"Jill, this is amazing!" You praised. Absolutely enamored with your reflection. Jill's praises were lost in a wave of bliss as you felt a cool sensation running along your scalp. She's taking a well-manicured finger with a bit of hair grease and just massaging your troubles away. It's a nostalgic feeling, really. Everything feels nice and calm, and the final girl succeeded in her endeavors.

"Ready for cupcakes?" Jill doesn't wait for your answer, already lifting you up and towards the kitchen for the next phase of the sleepover. Cupcake decoration.

[sordidmusings]

Update! (Again lol): plans, loss, and music

Howdy doody! I’ll get to the fic stuff lickety split cuz I imagine that’s the most pertinent for most. Next TLC soon to be posted and the part after that under way again! Just have to finish up checking up the next section as it was done before but was one of the fics claimed by one of my cringy “want to delete my existence” moods 💀🤡 that’s where my ao3 and masterlist went too so whoops lol did save my stuff from getting posted under someone else’s name once so sometimes that cringe instinct works out for the better 👌🏻 still trying to kick the habit tho 💀 but yeah just gotta clean it over and get it back up again! Thank you for your patience 🤍

Comfort fic with Croc is well underway! Sorry that that’s taking longer than expected and an even bigger sorry to the request for Croc and reader team bonding smut cuz that boys been taking ten million years. Both of you, I appreciate your patience too and hope to make it worth the wait!!

X Marine reader headcanons almost done in their first part! Doing the first installment as general headcanons/vibe and the backstory for them, the second being a detailed how they met, and the third being a big event for the relationship like a confession or one saving the other or coming to terms with the relationship being doomed etc etc. it kinda spiraled out of control on ideas as I have a tendency to do sorry 😅

Besides a Law fic, those are the priorities right now tho there’s also kinktober to discuss. I’ve always always wanted to do kinktober but I’m still not good enough. I’ve been trying to do some prep for it and think I may be able to get many headcanons out for the month on it but again I’m not at a quality or in life circumstances where I can make it happen with actual fic this year.

And with life circumstances, yeah there’s business with jobs and obligations and taking care of people and trying to take care of myself, but my great struggle for the past stretch of weeks and onwards is the death of my mentor, friend, and father figure who was my piano teacher. He was older but it was very sudden and we’ve all been scrambling to contend with the loss of him and try to keep all the programs he was running afloat and keep his memory and influence alive. His reach in the music community and the genuine depth with which he connected to others is now a huge wound for many of us. He was a person of exceptional quality and heart. There’s a memorial concert for him mid October that I’m one of the performers in and I’m glad it’s forcing me to practice because piano has been really hurting. Everything has been. I was already struggling to keep on top of things and in the face of this I really am floundering pretty bad, despite trying to take care of it myself cuz I know I was already asking much of others having to listen to me sometimes and most people go mute in the face of death and I don’t want that to be my experience with others right now.

So to share something more positive in this experience, here is a snippet of the piece I’m polishing back up for the memorial concert.

You’ll hear me mention briefly in the middle a “church bells section”. I was talking with @gingernut1314 about this piece while showing her some other stuff and so I gave context about why I chose it for his memorial. For ease imma just pop in a copy of that lol

{This is from the piece that I’m polishing back up for Ian’s memorial concert! It’s the second movement of Debussy’s Images for Piano. I finished learning all three with Ian. The first is likely my favorite, the third is a MONSTER (but that atm just kinda makes me want to get that back up again too to Conquer it lol), but the second one has the right mood for a memorial and is the one I spent the most time working on with him for expression (took forever to get it right and some of it was still only like just almost there when my recital came around 🤡) and it was the one I think he was happiest with how I played in the end. The final bit of the movement is just breathtaking and peaceful tho it does end sad. Ian talked about his time studying in Europe and visiting France and church bells echo on the mountainside there and that that’s the type of imagery to evoke there. He was a devout man himself and I thought that that being the end to something I play for his memory would make him happy.}

Thank again sweet pea for your time listening to me play and talk about classical piano and such in general!!! I appreciate you 🧡🧡🧡 and thank you to any of you who give this vid a listen and have this post a read. I hope to bring actual substance and treats to you all soon!!! I working on it I swear 💀💀💀

On a final note that sums basically all this shit up, that mentioned Law fic is something I’ve been mucking through to process some by engaging with a death that isn’t related to me. So! It is a fic where reader helps Law finally open up all the festering feelings and thoughts he wouldn’t let himself express around Cora’s death. I’ll give a more proper shout out there, but thank you to the people who have shown me kindness and understanding and friendship in the past couple months. You all know who you are (hopefully haha) - I try to impress these things directly to you as well but it felt right to say it here as well. Interacting with you all has impacted me positivity and you all make the world a more welcoming and loving place 🤍🤍🤍

I’d also like to extend a thank you to anyone interacting with any of my posts! I often feel invisible and unworthy so acknowledgements even small and passing are a nice !!!! to my brain and I appreciate it❣️

Talk to yall soon!

Oh and as a stupid ps cuz I forget things and have nowhere else to put this random thought - expect some One Piece crochet content sometime dhdjfhkdnd I’m finally almost fuckin done with a damn Bepo design that’s been fighting me forever 😤😤😤 same with a Cora swan lol might sneak some regular crochet and more piano in there too for shits and giggles but we’ll see - anyone else get The Guilt when you post things that don’t feel like the thing you promised or should ehcjfjldmccl cuz this bitch do and it keeps me from doing like anything cuz I’ve got a clinical case of the Brain Sillies 🤷🏼‍♀️ anyway - smooches!!!!

Oh and if you’re afraid to comment or like cuz the death topic - I won’t think anyone is being an ass for not mentioning it lol I brought it up for context and because he is so important to me not because I expect people on a post to do something about it. So as with all my content, no worries!! This is a Chill Zone that just so happens to have sad hours semi regularly but we vibe lol

[ponyguru]

Princess Lickety Split: the hair post! Part of what made this lovely girl (alt rehair? Semi custom? Whatever!) take so long is that I had so many colors to include, and I was using my old method of making hair plugs - melting each end with an open flame! 😵‍💫 It’s a very sturdy result, but very slow and not great to breathe, so I spent many long, cold nights in my back yard with a lighter and a N95 respirator, LOL! I also made way too many, afraid I would run out, but then I ran out of hair for her tail, and had to substitute in a little bit of another purple! 🤣 So to finish her off, here’s a shot of Rainbow Princess Lickety Split WIP, with her mane all installed, from January 2021! At that time I only had a few colors from the newer hair companies, so all of these are from my Dollyhair stock from years ago, combined with rainbow tinsel hair extensions from Amazon. I did my best to use jewel tones, but I would have preferred a darker green, if I had one. But she had already taken so long, I didn’t want to make poor @yodawgiheardyoulikeponies_ wait even longer! And I did fear an even darker green might take her from “jewel tones” to “gothic”, and we can’t have that! Unless she has a villainess cousin lurking somewhere… 👀 😜 So for your curiosity (you’ve all read so much, congrats!), her hair from forelock to nape is DH Cherry Pie, Nectarine, Butterfly, Lucky Clover, Forget Me Not, and Ultraviolet, with a little bit of Sour Grapes to bulk up her tail, all with added coordinating tinsel. Phew! I’m glad she finally home with Ariana, and living her best Rainbow Princess life! 🥰

[littlebundleofbolts]

Starter for @anotherhumanpet

Lickety-Split had been enjoying her time on this mudball called earth. They had these things called safaris where you could drive up to the four legged organics that crawled all over you. She was also excited to meet the two-legged organic partners that most of Team Prime seemed to be partnered up with. They came in so many colours.

"Oh, you're one of those humans I've heard so much about. Strange, I thought your species woulda been...taller." And a lot less fleshy, but apparently humans considered that rude so she muted that part. "I'm Lickety-Split, what do you change into?"

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Floyd Leech - Beach Wear Vignette

"'Flying Jellyfish'"

[Uninhabited Island – Sea]

Floyd: WAHOOOO!! GOIN' FOR ANOTHER FLIP!

[waves CRAAASH down]

Floyd: YAAAY! THIS FEELS AWESOME～♪

[waves CRAAASH down]

Jack: That guy's pretty amazing. He's getting better and better at surfing every time I see him.

Azul: Pbbft augh! And here I am doing everything I can to just stand on my board…

Jack: You need to work on your posture. Push your center of gravity in the direction you want to go without overdoing it.

Azul: Your advice is very rational and helpful, Jack-san. Floyd's relies too much on feeling.

Jack: Hm… …It's starting to get dark. We should probably leave the waters.

Azul: Yes, I agree. Floyd! We'll be heading back to the cottage soon!

Floyd: Ehh ～～～ Already?

Azul: It will be difficult to discern anything in the ocean at night. It's far too dangerous for us, especially now that we cannot transform back into our original mer-form.

Floyd: Fiiiine… Tch. I'm not done havin' fun, though. I wonder if there's anything we can do for fun at night around here.

Jack: At night, hm… Well, this is an uninhabited island, so it's pitch black at night. We'd only have the moonlight to do anything by. It'd be pretty impossible to do stuff outside.

Azul: Then, shall we create some kind of simple board games or card games to play inside with?

Floyd: Ehh～ Board games and card games can be done during the day, and we can play them anytime back on campus, too. That's not what I'm talking about…

Floyd: I wanna do somethin' fun that I can only do at night on this island, somethin' that's all bam and wheew and awesome!

Azul: There you go again with trying to describe it irrationally…

Floyd: Hmmm～ …AH! I GOT IT!

Floyd: Hey, hey, Azul. There's something I want you to show me how to do…

[Uninhabited Island – Near Spaceship]

Floyd: Stitch～ you there?

Stitch: ?

Floyd: So hey, can I have some of the leftover parts that you're not usin' to fix up your spaceship with?

Stitch: Ye.

Floyd: Hmm, so I wanna grind up all this metal into dust… Can you do that for me, Stitch?

Stitch: Rock and roll!

[shaka, shaka, shaka, shaka, shaka!!]

Floyd: Woah, awesome! Man, you really can do anything. You reduced a bunch of different parts to dust lickety-split.

Floyd: Mmkay, then it's Dr. Floyd's Experimentation Time～

Floyd: First, I'll start with this powder… Oh, I got green sparks!

Floyd: From this powder, I got red sparks, and this one over here gets me purple.

Floyd: And then using that rotten smellin' mud from the hot springs… I'll put it on this stick I dried… Like this…

Floyd: Aha, it's lookin' good! I'm a genius ♪

Stitch: ???

Floyd: You curious what I'm making, Stitch? This is what we call a "Flying Jellyfish."

Floyd: Uhhh, what did they call 'em on land, again? Oh, right, fireworks! Do you know what fireworks are?

Stitch: Yeah!

Floyd: Oh, are you gonna help me make some fireworks? Thanks～

Floyd: Back when we were kids, me and Jade would go up to the coastline to check 'em out. Ah, and when I say Jade, I'm talking about my brother.

Stitch: Ohana!

Floyd: Hm? Jade's not whatever that is. He's the same moray eel merman like me.

Stitch: ???

Floyd: Didn't I tell you? I'm a merman. Before I came to school, I lived in the ocean my whole life.

Floyd: And like, back in elementary school, we'd sneak up to the surface and watch the fireworks.

Floyd: My pops and mama always told us that it was dangerous for us kids to go by ourselves, so we shouldn't go near it.

Stitch: Grrr, rargh!

Floyd: Hmm? Oh, it's nothing like that. That whole thing where the humans and merfolk were afraid of each other is stuff from a long, long time ago.

Floyd: Folks've been comin' and goin' between the land and sea for a while now, ever since the mermaid princess married that human prince.

Floyd: But the reason why us elvers were told to stay away from the beaches was 'cause of the dangers of high waves or ebbing tides leavin' us stranded on the shore.

Floyd: The adults can somewhat get back on their own, but it's not that easy for the kids, y'know.

Floyd: There'd be a buncha shop all up and down the coast, too.

Floyd: Kinda like how we did the cottage here, they'd set up shops along the shoreline selling food, or accessories, or whatever.

Floyd: My parents own a few stores like that…

Floyd: But like, those were all stores for adult merfolks. They didn't like us kids goin' in by ourselves.

Floyd: So yeah, me 'n Jade would often go hang out near the beaches without tellin' them.

Floyd: 'Cause, I mean, if someone tells you not to do something, doesn't it just make you want to do it more?

Stitch: Yahahahaha!

Floyd: There's a ton of cool things to find around the shoreline… And the flying jellyfish ―the fireworks― were our favorite thing.

Floyd: It's super amazing to watch fireworks from the ocean.

Floyd: The light from the fireworks light up the dark ocean surface, sparkling like stars…

Floyd: It made me feel like I was swimming in the starry night sky.

Floyd: Oh yeah, you're from space, right, Stitch? That's so cool, I'd love to swim in the starry sky for real someday.

Floyd: I remember when I first came on land, there were a ton of things that new to me, like, strange things and weird people…

Floyd: I bet if I went to space, I'd get to see so many more awesome stuff.

Floyd: 'Cause there's a ton of other aliens like you and Gantu out there, right?

Floyd: Maaan. I bet even if I told him that I met an alien on an uninhabited island, Jade'll never believe me.

Floyd: "Your dreams are overflowing with originality, Floyd," he'd probably say.

Floyd: I know! You should come hang with us at Night Raven College someday, Stitch.

Floyd: You should bring your friends next time, too. I wanna see some crazy weird alien dudes. Like…

Floyd: Maybe an evil genius mad scientist that was the one that made you, or maybe a one-eyed federal agent who likes to wear disguises. Got anyone like that?

Stitch: Yahahahaha!

Azul: Floyd, Stitch-san. There you are. It's almost time for dinner.

Floyd: Eh, already? I got so wrapped up that time flew by so fast.

Azul: How did you do in crafting the firewor… Oh, wow! You've put together quite a lot.

Floyd: All the sticks you see bunched over there are the ones that you showed me how to make, and all these disc-lookin' ones'll spin.

Floyd: And this box over here is my own original creation!

Azul: Fireworks that you yourself put together? It won't explode all of a sudden, right…?

Floyd: It'll be fiiine, don't worry. I pumped a bit of magic into it, too.

Azul: Goodness… Once Floyd decides he wants to do something, his focus shoots through the roof.

Azul: I wish he were more like this during work, as well.

Floyd: After all that excitement, now I'm hungry. Azul, Stitch, can you guys help me carry all the fireworks?

Floyd: We can hide them on the beach and surprise the others later.

Stitch: Yeah!

[Uninhabited Island – Cottage]

Lilia: Floyd, Stitch, what's going on? Why are you taking us outside after we all finished eating?

Ace: The further we get from the cottage, the more pitch black it is. Also, why're you makin' me carry this bucket?

Floyd: It's fine, just trust me. Hurry and follow us.

Jack/Riddle/Ace: ???

[Uninhabited Island – Beach]

Floyd: We have arrived～!

Jack: The beach…? No, you better not be thinking of surfing in this darkness.

Floyd: Wrong～ The correct answer is… This!

[Fweeeeeeee…BOOM!]

Everyone: WOOOAH…!

Lilia: What a spectacular fireworks display! Floyd, how did you prepare all this?

Floyd: Me 'n Stitch made them by grinding up the leftover junk parts into powder.

Grim/Ace/Jack: YOU MADE THESE!?

Floyd: Stitch, can you bring out the rest?

Stitch: Ooo!

[thud, thud]

Jack: Woah! All that stuff Stitch just carried out here on his back… Don't tell me those are all fireworks?

Floyd: Yuup～ I wanted to shoot some fireworks on the beach at night, so I spent all my free time today makin' these.

Grim: This is awesome! I bet we can go all night with how many we got here!

Lilia: The long, thin ones are sparklers, I see… But what's this box?

Floyd: That's my original creation.

Floyd: We'll put it over here a little bit away from us, and… Goldfish-chan, give me a light!

Riddle: Don't use people as you would a match, seriously. …Hah!

[Shwaaaaa…!]

Everyone: OOOOHH…!

Floyd: Whaddya think? Isn't it cool with the way it lights up the pitch-black ocean, makin' it all sparkly?

Ace: Floyd-senpai, this is crazy awesome～! You're a genius! Can I try one too?

Floyd: Go ahead. Do as much as you'd like.

Lilia: Ooh! This sparkler's spitting out green sparks. It's just like the Diasomnia colors ♪

Jack: This one's giving off yellow sparks. Amazing, how'd you get different colors?

Riddle: This is my first time playing with fireworks. I just have to hold this end and light the other end, yes?

Azul: We'll often have fireworks placed on top of cakes and parfaits at the Mostro Lounge for celebrations, but…

Azul: It's not a bad change of pace to do it outside like this.

Grim: Nyahaha! I wanna hold one in both hands and set 'em off!

1. I want to try the hand-held fireworks! 2. I want to try the ground fireworks!

[laughing and cheering]

Azul: You were so gung-ho in preparing these, but you haven't touched a single firework at all.

Floyd: Hmm, I just feelin' like watching right now, instead of doin' anything.

Azul: I never took you for one to become so sentimental while watching fireworks.

Azul: Perhaps you're thinking… "If only Jade could see this too?"

Floyd: Huh, why Jade?

Floyd: I mean, I guess I've thought about how he's probably running the Lounge all by himself right now, so when we get back, we're gonna get an earful of complaints, sure.

Floyd: But it's not like I thought anything like, "Wish he was here～"

Floyd: 'Cause I mean, isn't it more fun to do our own thing and then come back with stories to tell?

Floyd: And if we like what we hear, then next time we can go together, and if it sounds boring, then we don't gotta go.

Floyd: It's not like me 'n Jade are the same person, anyway. Like, he just up and got hooked on hiking in the mountains one day and started going off on his own.

Floyd: Doing stuff on our own is way more fun than always doing the same thing together.

Floyd: 'Sides… If we were together all the time 'round the clock, I bet we'd suuuper hate each other’s guts about now.

Floyd: Like, back when we were kids, we'd get into huge fights and beat each other senseless almost every day.

Azul: Your sibling quarrels are really quite dreadful… I was quite shocked the first time I observed it happen.

Floyd: C'mon, we don't fight as much anymore. But that's 'cause we know if we go all out, our lives would be on the line.

Floyd: Eh, but when we do, we still go at it pretty hard.

[multiple fireworks goes off at once]

Riddle: Hey, Stitch! Grim! Don't get so greedy and light all those fireworks at once!

Stitch/Grim: NYAHA～!

Floyd: Ooh, looks like Stitch 'n them are havin' a blast!

Floyd: I think I'm feelin' like joinin' in now ♪

Azul: Heh. “Something fun that can only be done at night on this island, something bam and wheew and awesome”… Right, I see.

Azul: Have you been sated enough with this, Floyd?

Floyd: Eh～? You think I'd be satisfied just doin' this?

Azul: That was foolish of me to ask. I'm certain by tomorrow, you'll be searching for a different stimulus.

Floyd: See, you know me. Wonder what I should do tomorrow?

Floyd: Not every day that we get tossed onto an uninhabited island like this, so.

Floyd: Just so I can make Jade say, "Please take me with you next time" after he hears my stories…

Floyd: I'm gonna play and go wild and do all the stuff I wanna do, and make sure I have so much fun I don't have time to get bored at all ♪

Requested by Anonymous.