#Like does Vlad have two cats with the same name?

[schnuffel-danny]

He’s cooking dinner for his cat.

[blurrymango]

AYO. Why the ffuck does Vlad Masters from Danny Phantom have two completely different cats both named the same damn name?

Like mate. Those are not the same cat at all.

[millylotus]

Written Together In The Stars, Before We Were Even Born

Betrothal AU

A long long time ago Time and Light met on the third hour of existence as they know it, and made a deal. They each wanted something from the other, the few sparks greed that Reality had. They could have traded these wants but they both know that the other would try and take the traded things back. So they decided to meet in the middle, Time for saw a few decades when two beings of their own would be the same age and most compatible and they both decided the two would be wed. That way neither would do anything to each other without the risk of endangering their kin. So Time now has infinite knowledge of the past and Light now has infinite knowledge of all future possibilities. Supereons into the future the time had come.

Duke and Danny wake up one morning, just turned 17, to find out they apparently have a fiance who they've never met or heard of before.

Gnomon shows up at Wayne manor during breakfast with the written contract to tell Duke about the betrothal. Duke, who hasn’t seen his bio-dad for almost a year now, is understandably suspicious. But after Gnomon thoroughly explains what’s going on and shows the very old contract, Duke can’t really deny it anymore.

Danny on the other hand was woken up by the contract falling on his head via Clockwork bullshit. His first reaction was to burst into Jazz’s room and scream about it, then Jazz called Sam and Tucker. They all went over the contract multiple times before they decided that Danny at least needed to find his betrothed.

The contract came with only a first name, with a home city written as well, just to make it a little easier for everyone

Danny’s the one who goes out to find Duke

The Batfam end up searching for Danny like the stalkers they are

It gets kinda ridiculous with all the things they find, [does anyone else know about the purple back gorillas Danny saved from extinction?] what with him being Vlad Masters’ godson and apparently almost died when he was fourteen

None of Danny’s pictures look right because of the whole ghostly thing, the ones with him younger are kinda visible if a bit blurry [Jazz & Danny being mildly liminal since birth is a little headcanon of mine]

BUt because they were before puberty and before he started taking testosterone [all i can hear is past pronunciation], those old pics look wildly different from what Danny looks like now

Duke decides to take a break and just go to his favorite bookstore/cafe, he mainly goes there for peace and quiet and to write his stories and poems

The Eclipse is a bookstore/library/lounge combo, with a warm tone dark academia jazz/painter aesthetic

The Eclipse is probs gonna become recurring now that I think about it [Add On: Just finished building it in the Sims this place is staying]

The three floors above ground are the library got little reading nooks, and study areas

The basement is the lounge area with a corner where the owners keep their own things/activities and drink bar on a wall

The owners are twins, Sarah and Edward Sulaiman, Sarah plays string instruments, jazz mainly, Edward paints people, still, and landscapes

It was midday but you wouldn’t be able to tell from the water heavy clouds and smog covering the Gotham sky like a blanket on top of a pillow fort.

A teenage boy walks the streets of Gotham, there’s nothing awfully unusual about that. He’s Filipino, average height a bit on the taller side, muscle hidden under his clothes loose with a visible silhouette. His fluffy black hair bounces with each step and his eyes, they’re a… wrong shade of blue, let's say that. His eyes scan the streets looking for someone he’d never seen before, never even heard of before this morning. He’d been doing so for hours now.

A heavy drop of rain hit the boy square on the top of his head, the boy recoiled into himself like a cat, clutching his wooden staff in surprise. He looks up to the sky, eyes wide as the sky seems to dump an ocean onto the earth.

The boy runs, looking up and down the street for cover, until he sees a store front with a covered porch. Ducking underneath the roof he stares out into the street where the pouring rain curtains everything.

Sighing, the boy turned to the door of the store, looking at the sign all it said was The Eclipse. The water drops from his body like he was never drenched.

Pushing the double door open a soft jingle sounded through the building, he looked around a checkout desk was to his right another kid behind the counter. The two stared at each other before the kid behind the counter set down their book.

“Welcome to The Eclipse bookstore and lounge, the lounge is in the basement, this floor is the bookstore, the two upper floors are a library. Need anything else?”

The boy shook his head, “Nah, I’m good.”

The kid nodded and went back to their book.

The boy decided to just go to the third floor, see what they had. The soft murmurs he could hear coming from the basement gave him enough reason to avoid all the people.

There weren’t many people on the upper floors, just more books and a couple lounge chairs. On the top floor he saw a curtain over an open entrance in the back.

Danny sighed in relief, a small cubby to relax in would be nice. Gliding over feet barely touching the ground as he mimed walking.

He moved aside the yellow curtain with his staff, and came face to face with another boy who had taken over the desk on the opposite wall.

The boy looked up from his papers and turned to Danny. The ghost was taken aback by how pretty the other boy was.

“Oh hey, you can sit here if you want,” The boy said, motioning to the small couch on the far wall.

Danny nodded, and went over to the couch, plopping down, his eyes glanced over to the other boy.

“So um, my names Danny by the way,”

Duke looked over to the cute boy on the couch. He’d come to The Eclipse to escape all the talk about his betrothed, it didn't hurt to talk to someone new, who might share a name with his fiance.

“I’m Duke, are you new to The Eclipse? I’ve never seen you around before.”

Danny nodded, “Just recently got to the city, I’m looking for a- a friend.”

Duke raised an eyebrow, “You don’t sound so sure about that.”

“Well I haven’t met them yet – Danny rubbed the back of his neck – All I got is a name.”

Danny blinked then looked at Duke with eyes wide, “You two actually have the same name.”

The two starred, and Duke got a sinking feeling that they were looking for each other.

Duke groaned, leaning back in his chair, “Daniel right?”

Danny nodded, still staring wide eyed, “Daniel Fenton-Phantom.”

He stood up walking over to Danny and sitting down next to him, the other pulled in his legs staring at Duke.

“Duke Thomas-Wayne,” He offered up his hand, Danny shook it.

“So we’re betrothed,” Danny said kinda breathless.

“Yeah, it seems so,” Duke said, looking to the ceiling.

They sat there, almost shoulder to shoulder.

“Twenty questions?” Danny asked.

Duke looked at him again, “Yeah sure why not.”

They chat for a bit, just talking getting to know each other

They get along swimmingly, and Duke says Danny could come with him to Wayne Manor latter to meet his family

Danny invites Duke to come over to Amity and met his sister and friends

The small room on top of The Eclipse, Bookstore and Lounge, has a few tall bookshelves, a couch on the far wall and a desk opposite to the entrance.

Today its giant bay window, by the couch, is being hit by heavy drops or rain, the room lit by a soft yellow light from a simple chandelier on the ceiling. A couple paintings made by one of the owners.

Blankets kept under the couch that had been pulled out and draped over the sleeping boy. Books pulled off the shelves and opened on the desk presented to the boy writing in his many notebooks and papers.

It was quiet with only white noise, it was nice, familiar even.

Two being too big to be perceived by the mortal mind, watched with fond emotions as their plans fell into perfect place.

Gnomon and Bruce end up going out to look for Duke at The Eclipse

I don’t know these two relationship but I’m getting reluctant co-parents with benefits, so ya know

Anyway they end up finding Duke, who’s fallen asleep

Danny had woken up at some point and moved Duke to the couch and gave him a blanket, Danny himself is on the floor asleep leaning on the couch

The dads coo over their boy a bit cause this is adorable

When Gnomon gets closer Danny’s ghost sense goes off and is immediately on his feet and guarding Duke, who’s starting to wake up

Bruce and Gnomon blinked at the teenage boy brandishing his staff at them, standing protectively in front of their son.

Bruce takes a tentative step forward, the boy immediately turns his staff to the man.

“Stay back,” He growled.

Gnomon raised an eyebrow, and Bruce frowned at the kid. But neither moved

Duke groaned, waking up slowly taking in the scene around him, before quickly sitting up, “B, Uba? What are you doing here?”

The boy looked between the fathers and their son.

“You know them?” He asked.

Duke stood up, “Yeah they’re my dads.”

Both men would deny that they preened from the title their child had given them.

“Oh – The boy’s face fell and he immediately pulled into himself, awkwardly shuffled to Duke’s side – Sorry about that Sirs.”

“No need to worry, your worry for Duke is understandable,” Bruce said, smiling softly.

Gnomon nodded, “But we must ask, who are you child?”

Duke and the boy shared a glance.

The boy stepped forward, reaching out a hand, “Daniel Fenton-Phantom, Duke’s betrothed.”

DEADLIGHTS MASTERPOST, GENERAL NOTES, MEMES, AO3

[mochii-evelaand]

Sinful Love

Back in the 1850s historical figures were brought back to life. Some evil, some lost in their own void, some yearning for love, and some back for vengeance. Although, they all shared something they can't forget, their sins. Shadows and monsters of the past haunt them, even if they may smile from afar, nothing will ever change the hollow darkness they never cease to notice. To feel your chest tighten with every step, memories of loved one's crumbling to dust, a heart so broken it hurts to even try and stop its hurting.

In this time no one is kind. Nobles after money and riches, society getting rid of who ever is different, the poor begging for help as they die from sickness or hunger. Even the orphanages weren't a place a child could eat properly. But, that doesn't stop people from changing and also falling in love, no matter how sinful it is, and no matter how wrong it was.

It's peaceful to see the parks full of couples and happy kids, the sight so wonderful and heartwarming, yet it made me feel lonely, longing for someone I could love, someone that can erase my worries without judging me or my past. Was it so hard to find someone like that? It was to me. Not until a few months though and I can't explain it.

Can a man fall in love with another man? Because, it appears that I did so, and they're now staying in this era, where I can chase them as much I want. The man was from Comte's mansion. Soft wavy magenta coloured hair, mismatched green and magenta eyes, and a murderous smile that sends shivers down my spine. His identity is pretty much known to me, but he's still a mystery I haven't solved, like a lock with a rusty heart that no key can open.

Alyth was his name, yet I heard some of the residents call him Cheshire, which I believe is somewhat accurate for his personality. Sharp witted, always keeps an eye around him, appears out of nowhere and often leaves a riddle here and there to help, and mostly playful, his wide smile the made his sharp teeth glisten in the dim light made him.. sexy.

Should I even be close to him, and why do I feel so attracted to him. Like a moth to a flame, his character intrigues me.

"Charles, what are you day dreaming about?" My thoughts were cut off as Johann spoke, and I realised I was staring blankly at my food. My lord even seemed confused, placing a hand on my shoulder. I don't know what to say, or if I'm even supposed to say anything. "Nothing. Say, I have a small question.." The two men hummed in unison, raising a brow as if they knew.

"Is it possible for a man to fall in love with another man, guys?"

"...Cheshire, isn't it?"

"Wahh?! How did you know?"

The two shared a glance, Johann smiling ever so slightly, while Vlad had his usual innocent pure one that hid his murderous tendencies. I was still confused, silently staring between the two. "It was obvious." The two spoke in one voice, and I was completely shocked. How did they know? Am I being watched? I thought no one would notice. "But.. Cheshire is quite the enigma. Though-" My lord paused, pushing a strawberry into his mouth and savouring the taste. "He likes you. Those cat eyes never show what he's thinking about, but he does think of you. Take a leap of faith and think about it... but I warn you that Cheshire is more dangerous then he lets on."

His words weren't a lie, Cheshire is quite dangerous, and those mismatched green and magenta shine uniquely in the dark like small lights- did he say he likes me? I took a close look at Vlad, rethinking his words. "Huh? He likes me?" The two shook their head, Vlad smiling and Johann completely done with my shit. The night continued with me asking questions, or the same one, and it was reassured everytime. I still wonder who Cheshire really is even if I knew him for three months.

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight -  I’m Back, AGAIN BITCHES

For: @ectoblastfromthepast @ninjysworld

Dying is kinda a given with Danny, but this time things are a little bit more genuine and the whole thing HASN’T landed him in the Ghost Zone this time either.

Okay. So it was bound to happen eventually. Obviously. Danny lived… well half-lived a wee bit too dangerous to not just up and die, like, all the way kind of die, eventually. So yeah, Danny kinda took a really big axe to the head, and a couple arrows to the chest, maybe he lost a foot somewhere along the way, and a mild case of blood blossom poisoning.

Sure none of that killed him. Hell no.

You know what did?

A stop sign.

Thing got bent up by some shitty ass wind and managed to impale him in such a way as to scoop his core clean out of his body and straight into an industrial wood-chipper. Both of which had a nice healthy coating of ectoplasm due to this being fucking Amity and goddamn EVERYTHING having a touch of the ecto now.

But killed by a fucking stop sign is some seriously hilarious shit if he says so himself. And he does say so himself, purely because he was still walking around. Sure, he sure as shit wasn’t walking around Amity Park, or the Ghost Zone; but whoever does the decorating here has a THING for the dramatics of death. Place has got the whole shebang. Decrepit skeletons, polished skulls, distant wailing screams of suffering, random bits of fire and what can only be assumed to be noxious gas, walls so high you can’t see the ceiling to make you feel all small and shit, ground is just uneven enough to make walking something of a nervous hassle if your balance isn’t the shit™️. So yeah, he might be admiring a bit. Maybe.

Some slender red-furred dude in a white tailcoat with long horns trailing back off their head and tiny ass sunglasses -dude, it ain’t fucking bright in here- popping up outta nowhere actually gets Danny to give an ounce of a shit.

He’s been in a lot of weird places alright? You can only get sent to nightmare realms and mindscapes and reality bent evil circuses, so many times before shit loses its unsettling nerve-racking sparkle.

The whoever or whatever the fuck quirks an eyebrow, chuckling some before pulling out a book, “well, you’re a calm one”.

“Eh, I managed to sneak cat shit and Kitty litter in Vlad’s favourite whiskey bottle, so if this is, like, dead dead afterlife shit; I’m good. Not all Gucci, but good”. The whatever chuckles more, “I like you kid”. Danny gives them a stupid thumbs up.

The guy flipping pages, “ah Daniel Fenton eh? And Danny Phantom. And two middle names too! Well someone’s a little overachiever”.

“Eh, I like to make shit complicated. Complicated means it kinda becomes everybody's problem”.

The whatever shakes their head with a smirk, “well, it’s time for judgment and all that”, shrugging and looking at Danny, whose now stuck his hands in his pockets lazily, “gotta look through those life choices, you know”. Danny just chuckles quietly. Oh this ought to be good.

“Oh! Defeated one of the most powerful tyrants in the universe, freeing quadrillions of ghosts from his wrath. Little goody goody for my tastes but impressive nonetheless. And I am always down for tearing down obnoxious tyrants who think themselves god”.

…

“Beat up two thousand and twenty geese?”.

Danny smirks, “I wanted to be the reason they started crossing the street. You know, ingrain a genetically passed down fear of me and these wicked fists”. That gets him more laughs from the whatever.

…

“I’m guessing the same reasoning for beating up this Box Ghost quite literally two times shy of two million times?”.

Danny scowls with feeling, “well shit, now I do have one regret. Quick, send me back so I can beat his annoying ass two more times”.

The whatever snorts, amused, “I would but technicalities and all that”.

…

“Accidentally put a not insignificant dent in the local tree population by getting the chills. Alright, can’t say that counts for anything either way”.

…

“Wow there is quite the list for harassing Vladimir Masters. Oh! Tricked into cannibalism via fingertips coated in popcorn seasoning, now there’s an idea indeed. And deleting yourself out of existence to remove his power? Tenacious”.

Danny points at them, “to be fair, I didn’t know I’d delete myself”, shrugging, “my lucks just shit like that”.

“Yes I see that you died by… having your core scooped out by an uprooted stop sign, after being brained by an axe, shot nineteen times by arrows, had your foot bitten off, somewhat badly poisoned by blood blossoms, and… having your spine shattered by a cement-filled rubber chicken? Wow. And I mean really. Wow”.

“What can I say, if you see me dying then know that somewhere somehow I was going hard”.

The whatever quirks an eyebrow, “sounds more like life and death really gave you the short end of the stick kid, some of this shit is truly inspired. Causing mass panic by force-feeding someone a confetti canon at their own wedding and setting it off? That must have been messy”.

“Oh it was, guy was sneezing confetti for a week. Highly recommend”, Danny shrugging, “but yeah, world did me pretty dirty. Protected everyone and all that, got beat the Hell, HA! I think I’m funny, up for it; and hated by pretty much everyone. Ever wonder what it would be like to be dissected by your own parents? I have. Super not cool. But, like, if I got away and say tripped on my own intestines while doing so that would be kinda hilarious and solidly horrifying for them”, intangibly -wow surprised that still works- digging in his stomach to produce three potatoes, a screwdriver, and a vintage magazine, “went and stuffed this shit in there just in case they ever went scalpel happy and did the shit. Gotta pack a few surprises”.

The whatever blinks, snapping the book close, “well now, that about says it for me”, clapping Danny on the shoulder, “kid, let’s get you back up there and get that ball rolling, because you’ve got some ideas that I am so here for”.

But both of them quirk eyebrows and tilt heads as little black lightning stuff sparks around Danny. The whatever cackling after a beat, “I have never met a mortal I was legitimately impressed and awed by!”, smirking, “well well well, kid, looks like you’ve got some pals willing to dabble in black magic to get you back. Even willing to do the real deal and make a deal with little ol’ Alastor and Fritz. Ha!”, the whatever laughs loudly, “don’t know if that’s gutsy or just foolish!”. They poof away the book thing, actually leaning an elbow on Danny’s shoulder, crossing their hooved ankles, “yer gettin’ to go back without even my help. Immediately”.

Danny snorts, eyeing the lightning, “wow, those dicks. Can’t let me rest for ten fucking minutes”, eh it tracks. Rest and relaxation effectively wasn’t his shit these days. Sam and Tucker, mostly Sam, we’re waaaaaaaaay too pushy about doing the ‘hero’ thing though. Like fuck, he doesn’t need to fight every battle, damn.

The whatever rolls their eyes so hard their furry head moves with it, “Hmpf. Well now I owe you a favour sooooo”, twirling a black clawed hand before poking Danny on the side of the head, black horns coated in white flames twisting up and back in a tight corkscrew off of the sides of Danny’s head. “Poof! Enjoy your Hellfire, I’m sure you’ll use it splendidly. Man you are one creative shit”, the whatever walking off a little, “and that temper! Really something else”, turning back around to face Danny, “you’re gonna go far, kid. Maybe send some poor saps my way every once a while though, would ya?”.

Danny tilting his head, “I’m not a killer”.

“Pah, figured. But well”, grinning wickedly, “everyone winds up here one day, one way or another. Ta-ta”, and waves as everything begins to be overtaken by the black lightning.

…

Sam and Tucker launching themselves on him seconds later, the lightning disappearing rapidly. “DANNY! IT WORKED! YOU’RE BACK!”. Then letting go of him only for Tucker to solidly punch him one on the shoulder.

Danny scowls at them, “Ancients you two. Couldn’t just let the dead lie huh?”.

Sam looks almost offended, “are you mad about that?!?”. Danny making a point to look pissed off before relenting, “you guys are idiots. I’m not even going to ask who Alastor and Fritz are”.

Tucker makes a face, “dude how the fuck did you?”. Danny shrugging, laying on the vaguely cold ground, “the Whatever thought it was very funny that you made deals with whoever”, putting his hands behind his head and eyeing them, “so what’s your end of your little bargains though?”. His friends look to each other, shrugging and looking back to him, “uh. A favour? In the future?”. Making Danny glare, “again idiots. Just for that, no hero shit all day from me”.

“Danny you can’t just ignore your duties!”.

“Dude, what the shit? You can’t just opt-out, dude”.

Danny rolls his eyes, sticking out his tongue at that. Their shit was gonna bite them in the ass so hard when whoever the fuck came knocking. But fuck it, whatever, they can fuck around and find out all they wanna. And he’ll be there to watch the shit show go down. Chuckling, “pretty sure that was Hell and also those were demons”. Sam rolls her eyes, obviously not giving half a fucking damn, and Tucker chuckles with a head shake, “well wonder what afterlife you’ll crop up in next, and- wait, dude! Do you have horns!”. And damn near straddles Danny to grab at them.

Sam absolutely takes a picture of Danny’s currently just black horns on just black hair with Tucker yanking on them. Until Danny figured out to make them go all white fire anyway, the geek falling back with a yelp. Danny sitting up, smirking, “Whatever was literally going to send me back here before y’all went and yanked my ass back by force”, shrugging, “apparently I’m too much of a chaotic pain in the ass to not keep kicking around to torture the living”.

Sam sighs, “only you, Danny. Only you”. While Tucker laughs, “Hell yeah! Literally!”. Sam throwing some of the chalk at him, “don’t you dare encourage jokes!”. Danny chuckling to himself before just… spitting fire at them. Making them look truly offended and grossed out; which he throws his head back and cackles at.

And then he absolutely goes and finds Boxy’s obnoxious ass. Shouting, “I went to Hell two good fights shy of kicking your ass two million times! So dance little man! Dance!”, and just starts chucking fire by the fistful at the ghost. The Box Ghost jumping and jerking around to avoid it is legit quite amusing.

---

The Whatever -they’ll go with that name, not as if their own was truly comprehensible- chuckles to themselves. What a child! Ended the world and eventually the universe all on his lonesome! Truly spectacular, and such a showman about it too! That one absolutely needed his own set of horns. Even if they didn’t get the chance to make a demon of him; oh well. There was always next time. And next time he might be a little more… malleable. After all ‘heroism’ -ha! as if that was truly a thing- always destroyed the so-called heroes. How’s that old saying go? Oh yes! You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain. And Daniel James Janus Fenton Phantom would live indeed. Oh yes he would. They can’t wait.

But…

Glancing over the bar, at the tall man in pinks and reds, “I’m surprised with you. What could you have to gain from those two mortals. Last I checked you only dealt with demons genuinely”.

“Oh those two? Why, didn’t you hear the news! Ha ha! The belle’s Undergrowth’s chosen, and the fellow? Why! He’s a reincarnated pharaoh! Interesting toys if I do say so myself. Yes Indeeny! And the half creature! A real charmer! Oh does he ever know how to wear a smile”.

The Whatever laughs at that. Alastor was hardly wrong. That one was a real comedian who mocked and pissed everyone off with a grin and a pun; and did so with some serious ingenuity and flare. What a truly interesting mortal, and an interesting mortal who’s now wielding a little taste of Hellfire himself.

End.

Prompts: It actually happened. Danny died. Fenton and Phantom were gone for good. Except his friends and sister refuse to accept it. They believe the universe owes them for everything they've been through and the number of times they've saved its sorry ass, so they turn to black magic to bring Danny back... From where? Is he the same as before, or has he changed? How? Is he grateful his friends brought him back, or does he resent them for calling him back to arms? and Danny dies, goes to hell, and comes back without a scratch.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Aideku au where no.1 hero deku (or a diff name) has to stop hero work temporarily after an injury (in a battle against afo? Idk) and works at us while he’s healing to “help the next gen of heroes” (WITH a teaching license)

And he does analysis for the hero students and teaches them it so they can improve and find villains weaknesses

He’s constantly bursting into aizawas lessons and class 1A is like “huh. He’s smart. He’s the no.1 hero. He seems like he’s friends w aizawa even tho he seems annoyed. What if they…got together???”

So they start planning on how to set them up and try to get the other teachers in on it. Monoma sees this and is like “no way VLAD SENSEI WERE HELPING U SEDUCE THE NO1 HERO”

Meanwhile aizawa is annoyed bc his husband keeps interrupting his class and now the students are up to something. Izuku on the other hand revels in the chaos he’s caused while having tea w nedzu

Okay okay no I love this.

So Izuku, #1 Pro Hero Dekiru, ends up getting browbeat into taking some time off by a combination of Shouta, his mom, his agency, and Toshi-sensei giving him sad eyes and going "don't make the same mistakes I did, my boy".

But, of course, Izuku being Izuku, he's going stir crazy in under a week.

There are only so many cold case files Naomasa will let him get his hands on and he was banned from stepping foot in any police building outside of an emergency by day 3.

Shouta's threatened to divorce him if he sets up one more conspiracy board in their apartment after the last two migrated from his office to the living room and one of the cats got tangled up in a bunch of the string and sent one of them crashing down at 3 am in the middle of them having "quality time" and startled both of them so bad that Izuku shattered yet another headboard and Shouta had to both get his capture weapon repaired and dodge Hizashi's questions about his limp for the next week.

Plus there's the fact that his main PR agent Hifumi-san has threatened to kill him herself if he tries to revive his HeroTube channel again after that last scandal/debacle with those anti-mutant Gang Orca haters he threatened to fight in front of All Might and all of the Gods. (He's holding onto control of his official Twitter account by the skin of his teeth at this point too because he won't stop tweeting controversial but entirely true shit but he won't let her take his #DekiruRants from him too.)

So he's obviously running out of things to do and has resorted to playing online CAH with Nezu since they've been banned from playing online chess/shogi/checkers/9 deck go fish/Minecraft/all terraforming games/and monopoly specifically together by Shouta and the others.

Which is, of course, around the time Nezu has a glorious idea. Maybe Izuku should put that teaching license he got the last time he broke his leg and had some downtime to use.

So Izuku, faced with the opportunity to spend more time with Shouta during the day and to, frankly, get the fuck out of the apartment in a way that won't get him in trouble, instantly agrees.

It only takes two afternoons of seeing Dekiru beaming up at Aizawa-sensei, patting Bakugou on the head and cooing about how "Kacchan is growing up so well", hovering over Todoroki, and giving the entire 1-A class ridiculously detailed analysis on their quirks before 1-A decides that they have to have him for keeps.

Thus begins their earnest efforts to Parent Trap Aizawa-sensei and Dekiru.

Monoma of course can't allow that to happen which results in Vlad King (one of the only staff members who doesn't know Aizawa and Izuku are married) also being put on the spot.

Aizawa's less than pleased about that, especially since Vlad's crush on Dekiru is basically an office joke by this time.

Bright side though, Izuku's not bored anymore.

[allzelemonz]

Mr. Mayor: Vlad Masters X NSG Reader

Decided to make it gender neutral despite the request because I love Vlad and I know other boys and enbys do too. Also made the reader Jack Fenton’s sibling because I think there’s a slap in the face situation part 2 later on.

Visiting your brother’s family was always great. Jack rambled on about something ghost related while Jazz caught you up on her academic successes and Maddie told you about the big new events you’d missed since visiting last. Your favorite part of the visit was taking Danny to hang out. Your nephew was your favorite, not that you’d ever say it out loud.

So taking Danny to the Nasty Burger to meet with his friends was right in your wheelhouse. Sam and Tucker seemed like really nice kids. You admired Sam’s taste in the weird things and Tucker’s understandable love for technology. In talking to the kids you remembered what Maddie had told you.

“So, the new mayor, not your favorite person?” You looked around at the high schooler's faces.

“He tried to make us wear school uniforms, started a curfew at four o’clock, and we almost lost the Nasty Burger.” Danny explained.

“Does he have some sort of vendetta against you or something?” You asked as you went to take a bite of a fry.

The teens looked at you skeptically. As if you knew something you weren’t supposed to.

“What?” You looked around. “Am I missing something?”

“He’s just a bad guy, that’s all.” Sam clarified.

“He’s the guy that’s been chasing after Danny’s mom since they were in college, other than that he never seemed that bad.” You set down the fry you were never going to get the chance to eat. “He and Jack always spent summers between semester doing stupid ghost expermments in th attic.”

“So you knew him before…” Danny stopped himself from finishing.

“Before?”

“Before college?” Tucker filled questioningly.

“Yeah, yeah, you knew him from when my dad went to college?”

“Not really.” You answered. “Just caught glimpses of him. I was in high school so I didn’t really pay attention to what Jack did.” You shrugged. “He seemed nice, but he stopped coming over so often for some reason.”

Once again the teens looked at each other as if they knew something special.

“All right, who wants to tell me?” You broke their little staring contest.

“Tell you what?” Tucker spoke in more of a series of squeaks rather than words.

“Yeah, there’s nothing to tell.” Sam covered.

You turned to Danny. “Nephew.”

He gulped and let out a nervous laugh. “It’s like Sam said, he’s just a really bad guy now.”

“Explain.”

The look of a disappointed (Aunt/Uncle/Auncle-This is the most common gender neutral term I’ve found) was something that could move mountains. Danny shifted in his seat clearly trying to come up with a convincing lie.

“Daniel, tell me.” You narrowed your brows and the kid looked white as a ghost.

Hold on, no. His hand was gone. The one that was resting on the table. Gone.

“Is this a ghost thing?” You asked.

Danny looked down at his hand and tried to play it off as if it was just a weird angle. It didn’t work. With all the nervous muttering and poorly formed excuses it was obvious they were lying.

“You’re half ghost?” It was hard to believe, but it was the only thing that the kids didn’t sound like they were lying about.

“Yes, just keep your voice down.” Danny warned. “Vlad is half ghost too, that’s how he became mayor and got all of his money.”

“So he’s bad because he played to his strengths?” You muttered to yourself.

You gathered up the trash around the table.

“Why don’t you introduce me to him, Danny. I’m sure he’s not that bad of a guy.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Sam chimed in.

“I may be related to Jack Fenton, but that doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.” You looked at Danny who seemed to forget that he could do ghostly things and was trying to hide in his shirt. “Come on, Danny.”

Reluctantly Danny left his friends to introduce you to his arch nemesis. A fourteen year old with an arch nemesis and it had to be your nephew. Town hall was busy, but that’s what town halls are like. Danny helped you walk through a few walls until you were outside of Vlad’s office. The fact that your nephew could just walk through walls was going to take some getting used to. Danny opened the door to see a rather handsome man sitting at a large desk with a fluffy white cat in his lap. He looked up at the sound of the door clicking open.

“Why Daniel, to what do I owe the pleasure?” His voice had a calming effect.

“My (Aunt/Uncle/Auncle) wanted to meet you.” Danny seemed tense in the way he spoke. “I’ll be at home.’ He muttered to you before leaving the room.

You closed the door as he left.

“Good to meet you Mr. Masters, I’m (Y/n), Jack’s (Brother/Sister/Sibling).”

“Oh, yes, I remember seeing you around.” Vlad recalled. “Please sit.”

You did so, taking the seat across from him.

“I wanted to meet you because I’d always been a fan of your work.”

“Oh, thank you, it's always nice to meet a fan.”

“And because I never got the chance to really meet you when you and Jack were friends.”

“I must say, I do regret not meeting you sooner.” Vlad leaned forward and rested his chin in his hands. The cat scurried away to a small tower by the window.

“Why did you and Jack stop talking?” You asked.

“Oh, college passed and we went separate ways.” He waved off the issues.

“That’s it?”

“Well, I used to have a bit of jealousy toward he and Maddie, but I feel it passing more and more with each word.”

“Each what?”

“Each day.” Vlad corrected himself.

“Right…” Your eyes wandered to the framed Packers jersey on his wall. “You’re a Packers fan?”

“Why yes.” Vlad smiled fondly at the jersey. “I’ve tried to buy the team itself, but no luck.”

“I’ve always been a bit of a fan, and I love the jersey.” You complemented.

“Say, would you like to accompany me to a game this season?”

You blushed red. A very attractive man just asked you to go to your favorite team's game.

“I, uh, I’d love to.”

“I have my own box, bottle service and all of the perks.” He bragged. “Afterall someone with your looks deserves nothing less.”

You let out a nervous half laugh. “Thank you, Mr. Masters.”

“Oh, please, Vlad.” He insisted.

“Right, Vlad.”

The name rolled off your tongue in such a pleasant way. Jack might kill you for this, but come on.

“If you’d like we go for dinner tonight as well.” Vlad offered.

“Sure.” You answered right away.

After having to interrogate Danny and his friends you realized you never really got to eat.

“Shall we then?” Vlad waited by you with his arm out to take.

You walked with him to a limo reserved just for the mayor. He sat next to you and gave great conversation. You discussed the Packers, politics of Amity Park, and personal preferences. Dinner was much of the same, but with more food. Vlad wasn’t like Danny had said. He was a gentleman. He may have acquired his money by not-so-legal means, but he was a nice guy.

The ride home was more conversation. Vlad bought the ticket to the game he’d promised and inquired about why you were in Amity Park.

“It was just time to visit, catch up with Jazz and Danny.” You explained. “I try to tune out Jack, he calls every week or so anyway.”

“And how long will you be staying in our fair city?”

“Around a week.”

“And I couldn’t persuade you to stay any longer?” Vlad offered.

“I, uh, I don’t know.” You thought. “Maybe.”

“There is a position open at city hall if it interests you.” He met your eyes. “I’d be happy to pull some string to keep you around.”

“I wouldn’t mind that.” You nodded along.

You hadn’t noticed how close the two of you were. Until Vlad’s hand was already cupping your cheek. He gave you a moment to react before he leaned in and pressed your lips together. It was a sweet kiss, timid. As if he hadn’t done it in a long time.

You scooted closer to him on the seat and wrapped your arms around him, one of your hands finding his pony tail to play with. Vlad rested his other hand on your side and pulled you a bit closer. You pressed further and intensified the kiss. Vlad obliged and kept the pace, kissing you with as much passion.

The car came to a stop and made you both separate. Time was cut short.

“I suppose I’ll see you soon?”

“Of course.”

“Lunch tomorrow?”

“I’d love to.”

Vlad opened the door for you to step out and gave you one last smile before the car drove away. You were definitely going to see him again.

[theotheroccassionalfanficwriter]

To Our Beloved Tartaglia

Summary: A story on how two people say i love you without saying it.

A/N: Fluff for today’s birthday boy! I’m buying him a cake and celebrating his birthday! Implied sex at the end.

--

The freezing temperature of Dragonspine was one you’ve grown to find as a minor inconvenience. Though you do enjoy playing in its place and exploring it for treasures, you’ve never grown to like it. It was just a tourist destination in your humble opinion. Not that anyone who knew you agreed, even Paimon had wondered if you were quite alright in your brain.

Of course, correlation breeds attachment and from the moment you heard Tartaglia offhandedly mention how Dragonspine was like Snezhnaya in its freezing temperature, you’ve dedicated a time in the day to spend time in it to ensure that your body would not be shocked when it finally lands in Snezhnaya. If anyone noticed how you’ve silently grown fond of the place, you’d deny to your dying breath that it had to do with Tartaglia.

Not even Kaeya’s impressive boob window would be able to make you admit your growing intentions to tie down the volatile Harbinger to your side through marriage. There were some things you wanted to keep close to your chest, and this was one of them.

It stood to reason then that you would have kept your sudden desire to perfect the art of cocktail mixing or to be more honest, perfecting Blue Lagoon. Your sudden daily appearance in Cat’s Tail had been the talk of Mondstadt, it grew large enough that even the Traveler and Paimon had dropped by.

“Paimon wonders why you would work here just to practice your bartending skills?” Paimon had asked after being served a non-alcoholic drink.

“I wanted to make a drink for Childe with the fire water he gifted me on my birthday” You revealed as you finished the Long Island and gave it to the Traveler, “On the house.”

You winked at them.

“Huh? Why would you even want to do that?”

You smiled and didn’t answer Paimon, opting to give her food to distract her. On the side, the Traveler gave you a knowing look but you merely signaled them to keep it a secret. 

--

“I really hate the taste of fire water but it does its job in the cold. I don’t know why you’d want something like this, comrade...but if it makes you happy-”

“Since you hate the taste of it, give me enough time to make a drink suitable for you.”

“Hahaha! There’s no need to go that far, I’ve drank this when I was just a year in the Fatui!”

“Then I’ll give you a drink just for you as Tartaglia.”

--

When you saw his letter today, you couldn’t help but feel the bubbling emotion in your heart. Excitement rushed through your veins as you ignored the rest of the letters addressed to you to read his letter. You sat in front of your house’s door step, smile on your face as you read his letter.

You couldn’t help but imagine the whine in his tone, you lamented that the two of you couldn’t have bumped into him at Dragonspine but your travels took you far and wide through Teyvat. The chances of meeting him by chance were low, so you resigned on buying information of his whereabouts.

Nothing substantial, just sightings of him if only to fake a chance meeting but it didn't happen so far. The two of you were always on the opposite ends of Teyvat that you had half a mind that Celestia itself was sabotaging your love life. Your heart felt elated at knowing he was fondly remembering the time you had spent with each other, as well as the sparring sessions that always seemed like on the verge of something more.

When your eyes read the final words on his letter, you couldn’t help but feel your heartbeat quicken.

“A special day?” You muttered to yourself, your mind quickly churning as you hastily went inside your rented home in Mondstadt and quickly rushed towards your room to grab your room to change your clothes. You had thought he was in Snezhnaya so you had already sent his gift earlier, timing it so that it would arrive today but if his letter was to be understood, it meant that he was in Liyue today.

‘If I use the waypoints, I can get there quickly and spend the day with him!’ You thought as you began to meticulously fix yourself. You wanted to show him the best sides of you today.

Your clothes were meticulously picked, the outfit would pose no hazards during a battle while at the same time accentuating your figure and increasing your charm. You wanted to be prepared on the off chance Tartaglia wanted to have a spar, but if he wanted to go on a date,

“Then I’ll be prepared as well!” You giggled as you finished checking yourself out and began to apply light waterproof make-up. Your lips were glossed and purposely drawn to capture his attention on how kissable it was.

You sprayed a soft floral perfume before winking at the mirror and making your way to the nearest warp point and teleporting yourself in Liyue. 

You landed softly in front of the teleport waypoint in Feiyun Slope. The effort you spent on yourself was noticeable, the mid-morning populace of Liyue took a couple of glances at you. Anyone could tell that you were about to go on a date, eyes followed you as you happily walked towards the Northland Bank.

“Good morning, Vlad!”

“O-oh! Good morning! Are you here for Lord Tartaglia?” Vlad asked you, blushing after being caught mid-yawn.

“Yeah, I was hoping he was around here” You replied, suddenly feeling embarrassed at your haste.

Vlad grinned, it was no secret to the employees of the Northland Bank that you and Lord Tartaglia frequently went out together. As far as they were concerned, marriage was a foregone conclusion between the two of you.

“Of course! Just head straight to the second floor! Lord Tartaglia is still in his office around this time!” 

“Thanks! I heard Nadia’s into crab tofu this days~” You happily helped Vlad to further his relationship with Nadia.

Each step that you took made your smile brighter, your head was full of thoughts about him. Wondering if he had gotten stronger, was he eating well, did he get new scars, had he visited his family recently, was he taking good care of himself. All of this went through your head as you headed to his office but most of all you thought,

‘Did you think of me as much as I thought of you?’

Your heart was bursting at the seams and you couldn’t wait to be reunited with him. Your footsteps slowed as you reached the door to his office, you could hear the soft muffled sounds of scribbling behind the door. You stood in front of it, debating, thinking, on the words you wanted to say to him.

You hesitated, wondering if the words on his letter were just politeness and not a reflection of his true feelings towards you. You lingered in front of the door, listening to the sounds inside the room, and wondered if you could cross the line today. You thought of the package that had surely already arrived in Snezhnaya, before your thoughts could even spiral further down the road, the door opened and in front of you stood Tartaglia.

Somehow, against your will, you couldn’t help but smile at him. Your traitorous body revealing your heart right in front of him without any regard for your reservations.

“Tartaglia!” 

And when he smiled back, eyes soft as if the mere mention of his name had not revealed your fondness of him, you felt yourself fall in love with him again.

Your name felt safe in his mouth, treasured, and when he pulled you close and held you in a tight embrace, you prayed that he wouldn’t hear the quick and rapid pump of your heart nor would he realize how easily you melted in his embrace.

“You came! I didn’t really expect you to come so quickly!” His tone was bashful, pleased, and a little bit shy and it made you even softer for him.

“Neither did I! I was hoping you were here since I’ve never been to your home in Morepesok before…” You trailed off, feeling shy.

He laughed softly, “If you keep that up, I might just really think you’ve missed me so much!”

“I did miss you” You admitted with soft eyes as you watched his face slowly turn red.

“Comrade…” Tartaglia averted his eyes, the back of his covering half of his face, “I’m no match for you today.”

You chuckled softly, “Mhm. Before that let me greet you first.”

He looked at you and you wondered what sort of face you were making right now. You sincerely hoped it wasn’t weird or ugly.

“I’m listening.”

“Tartaglia, Happy birthday” You stepped closer to his personal space, hands on his chest as you tiptoed and kissed the corner of his mouth.

“I’ve actually sent your gift to Morepesok but since you’re here...today I’ll give myself to you.”

Tartaglia blushed as he grasped your hands and with unconcealed anticipation replied, “How bold! I can’t believe you’re saying that in broad daylight!”

“What’s bold about it?” You asked him “I’m willing to do anything you want today as your present since your real one is in Snezhnaya.”

“Oh.”

You frowned at his reaction, “I-I can change it to something else! Do you want new weapons?” You worried that you had disappointed him with your stand-in gift.

“No!” 

He coughed upon realizing his reaction and hastened to explain himself, “I mean, I’m glad to have you today! You can’t change it to something else!”

You felt relieved at his words. Tartaglia continued speaking, “I want to go on a date with you today, eat your cooking for lunch, and then spar in the afternoon, and we finish this at my room.”

“As you wish!”

--

In the morning, after Tartaglia had finished signing and writing the documents for the Fatui, the two of you ate breakfast at Wanmin Restaurant. His skills in using chopsticks were marginally better but it still took him many attempts before he could eat a couple of bites.

It was cute. It was endearing. And you were so so in love that you didn’t mind picking up the crystal shrimp and feeding it to him. 

“C’mon now, don’t be shy” You told him when his mouth remained close and you could see the hesitation in his eyes “You’ll need all the energy for our fight later.”

You locked eyes with him as he ate from your chopsticks, seeing up close how long his lashes were, the slight curl on its end and the fascinating blue of his eyes. You wondered if Tartaglia could see how much you loved him, if your eyes betrayed the depth of your affection for him. But as soon as he removed his mouth from the chopsticks, crystal shrimp gone, the moment had ended and you ate from your bowl of Universal Peace.

When you saw him swallow, you immediately reached for the Squirrel Fish and took a piece of it, offered it to him and Tartaglia ate. Had it anyone else you wouldn’t have bothered but as always, Tartaglia managed to be the exception and you didn’t mind.

After eating, the two of you walked along Liyue Harbor, browsing shops and buying him small trinkets to bring back home. You visited the blacksmith to commission him a new bow, one designed to further improve his skills at the bow. You would pick it up later in the day, and Tartaglia dragged you to watch opera. The two of you sat close, closer than usual and the butterflies in your stomach never settled down. His hand never left yours and you wondered what sort of picture the two of you painted in the eyes of Liyue’s populace.

You couldn’t help but wish that you could keep on celebrating his birthdays with him from now on.

By the time the play ended it was past lunch time, so the two you went to the market stalls and bought ingredients for a late lunch before heading back to his apartment. Tartaglia helped as you made his longevity noodles, telling him the story behind it from a time before Rex Lapis’.

“I guess, you must really like me that much if you’re giving me this to eat!”

“Well, since we met in the middle of my life, I wanted to make sure that we’d have a lot of time to spend together to make up for it” You teased him even if it was the truth.

You didn’t know what the future held for both of you but you wanted to be part of his life longer than the time you weren’t in it. In his kitchen, you served him the noodles, every part of it made with love and well-wishes for his life and you hoped that there would be more years to come that you could spend it this way.

‘I wonder if you could tell how much I love you with each bite you take?’

When all was said and done, when the two of you had gone through all of his wishes, you both sat at the pavilion in the Dwelling in the Clouds, stargazing and observing Celestia. Between the two of you were two glasses filled with Blue Lagoon.

“You know, I never thought that you’d really make a drink with Fire Water that I’d like” Tartaglia said, his gaze far away “Say, do you do this for others too?”

“I don’t” You confessed, your face felt like it was on fire, you had never been comfortable speaking out your love unless it was hidden behind a joke or said in a playful careless manner.

A moment later, Tartaglia’s movement had you looking at him, drinking in the rare sight of his gentle smile, a genuine one that carried only what you dared to hope was fondness for you.

“If you keep this up, looking at me like that, I might really get my hopes up” His voice was soft and gentle as his face came closer to yours.

“Say comrade, if I kissed you right now what would you do?”

Before you could even think of a reply his lips were on yours and you were pushed down the bench, glasses strewn aside as Tartaglia’s tongue entered your open mouth and kissed you deeply. Your arms embraced his neck as the two of you kissed passionately, drowning in each other in gentle passionate bliss above the clouds. His hand lingered on your thigh, squeezing and caressing it as he applied pressure on your crotch and creating a friction that had you arching your body close.

When the two of you came up for air, you looked so debauched that Tartaglia almost couldn’t help but devour you right then. The flush on your cheeks, the dazed look in your eyes and your glistening red lips that had been a temptation to him all day created a picture that would always linger in his mind.

“If I asked you to give yourself to me…” Tartaglia’s hand traveled down your inner thigh, getting closer to the sides of your crotch “would you?”

“...yes” You covered your eyes, if only to hide your embarrassment.

His soft laughter had you peeking back at him.

“Thank you”

His lips were back on yours and made no move to stop him as his hands went under your clothes, playing with your body as if he had spent time thinking on how to elicit moans from your mouth. He was gentle but purposeful in his acts as your clothes were removed piece by piece and discarded into a pile on the floor.

You bit your hand as he took you apart again and again, plunging you into a passionate love affair that had you crying for his name and tasting the sweetness of his love with each kiss. It felt sacrilegious to have done such an act in a place owned by the Adepti but each bite, each kiss, had your heart pounding in excitement.

You loved him as ardently as the fires of Natlan, as deep as the waters of Liyue’s seas, you loved him with all of your heart and every fiber of your being. What bliss it was to experience this love that made you feel human, that the mere mention of his name could bring a smile on your face.

How wonderful it was to be in his arms right now, enjoying the bliss of being loved and loved in return. With your hands clasped together with his, your heart filled to the seams, you spoke,

��I’m glad to have met you.”

--

When Tartaglia had left that letter on your doorstep,  he had stood in front of it for a long while. Wondering what you would say if he was the first thing you saw in the morning. Would you greet him with a happy birthday? Or would you scream in fright? His thoughts went on and on as he merely stood there thinking upon dozens of scenarios if only for you to be the first one to wish him a happy birthday.

He wanted to tell you that his days were no longer the same without you by his side, that the mundane everyday life no longer felt exciting when you weren’t there to experience it with him. He wanted to tell you how he always wanted you to just show up whenever your informants inquired about him.

He had entertained the thought that you would one day show up in his workplace, food in hand and his name on your lips but he knew that you were the type to stick to your duties, and really he couldn't fault you for that when he was the same. But sometimes, the selfish and childish part of him wanted you to throw away everything for him.

Just for a while, just for a moment, if only to have something to look back upon when all was said and done.

So when he had seen you standing before him, eyes bright and looking at him like he was your most cherished person, he couldn’t help the happiness that was bursting at the seams. And now that you were in his arms, on his lap with your head on his chest, he couldn’t help but kiss you again and again. Making up for lost time, for all of those moments when he could have breached the line and made a move but didn’t.

“Stay with me” He offered, asked even when he knew that it was impossible right now. Not when either of your allegiance could go against each other any time, you with the Adventurer’s guild and him with the Fatui.

“One day” you promised.

And that was enough for him. It gave him hope that both of you would make it out alive. It gave him something to look forward to when his time with the Harbingers had come to an end.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Yeah, forget side content, just gonna steam on ahead with the Sports Festival and onwards. I might not actually stop and start trying to do overarching plot stuff until ~chapter 100 (more specifically, post ch 97, the last chapter of the Kamino Arc) because then there will be enough material to actually like. Do stuff. Might also have something smaller after the Sports Festival since that’s ~chapter 50. Shrugs.

Anyways, onwards. Don’t you miss the days when the main trio of the series was Izuku, Tenya, and Ochako? Man, don’t I. :(

[No. 22 - That’s the Idea, Ochako!]

Character sheet! I am honestly laughing super hard at everything because just. ‘Very Ochako.’ Thank you, Horikoshi. A few things about the sheet:

1) god I love that her fingerpads are called soft. Like. Actual cat paw pad fingers going on here. just imagine if you like pressed one of them like you do with cat paw pads and like, she had cat claws that would extend. cute but also menacing.

2) strong legs. leg day squad. her, izuku, and iida all doing leg day workouts together tho... katsuki wishes he had the leg strength of those three y'all

3) That quirk description… that’s not quite how centrifugal forces work, but I mean. Superhero comic physics. At least he made an attempt at explaining her quirk. 

Anyways, onto the actual chapter.

We open up in a staff meeting in a conference room at UA, with Tsukauchi presenting the results of the police investigations. He states that the one called Shigaraki has a quirk that allows him to disintegrate anything he touches. They (the police) have been through the list of men in their twenties and thirties in the quirk registry with no luck - and nothing turned up on the ‘warp gate’ user Kurogiri either. With neither registered, both using aliases, and no quirk records, they’re pretty much confirmed to be members of the underworld.

God sorry, I’m just distracted with the sheer size difference between Toshinori and Nedzu here.

What the fuck. Why did you put the largest person in the room next to the smallest?

Whatever. Snipe surmises that they know next to nothing, but they need to learn fast, or the leader of the villains, Shigaraki, will heal up and be back again. Toshinori is thoughtful as he mulls over the use of ‘leader’, which Nedzu catches quickly and inquires into. Probably still heavily banking on Toshinori’s instincts here since he was technically right about his bad feeling about the USJ just two days before.

I mean, how it has to sting Nedzu that all his state of the art systems meant to keep out intruders and alert UA to situations on campus failed at the critical moment, while Toshinori’s instincts on something being wrong had been absolutely on point and, if Nedzu had let him go, might have solved the situation that much sooner.

(I mean, there’s arguments for what could have happened if All Might did arrive early, so. Shrugs.)

And so we get into the segment I like to fondly consider a prime example of the fact that yes, Toshinori does in fact have a 6/6 intelligence score for a reason. 

He brings up how nothing about the situation feels normal. It was an especially daring attack - and not just in the meticulous planning! Shigaraki had started going on about some ridiculous ideology… and though he didn’t say anything about his own quirk, he couldn’t keep himself from bragging about the nomu’s quirk. And when things didn’t go his way? He threw a tantrum. Toshinori then admits with grit teeth and clenched fist that the business about quirks was meant to provoke him, and that it did hurt.

Nedzu says that even so, it’s foolish for villains to reveal quirks in a battle against heroes and so waste the element of surprise. 

Toshinori surmises his previous observations about Shigaraki - spouting a plausible yet deluded ideology, bragging about the toy he brought along, simple-mindedly assuming all would go his way. If they thought about how the attack was carried out, it seems clear that Shigaraki couldn’t hide his childish nature, the sense that he does what he wants, and then flat-out calls him a man-child.

Vlad King sums up Toshinori’s words as Shigaraki being a kid with too much power. Midnight adds on how Shigaraki might never have received general quirk counseling in elementary school; Vlad wonders whether that even matters. 

Tsukauchi steps back into the conversation to give the rest of the arrest results - a total of 72 villains were apprehended at the USJ. He states that all of them were just back-alley thugs, but the question is why so many of them would agree to follow this ‘man-child.’ He points out that modern society is saturated with heroes, so small-time villains like them, who always get kicked around, might have been drawn in by that sort of pure, unaffected evil. 

Toshinori having a flashback here, though his expression… I wonder if he’s having doubts already. And honestly, that flashback bit has me wonder just how common ‘uncontrollable’ quirks really are… and what COUNTS as ‘uncontrollable’ in their society. 

To avoid a longer derail, Tsukauchi finishes up by saying that thanks to the heroes, the police can focus on their investigation. They’ll expand their search and devote efforts to apprehending the perpetrators. 

Nedzu finishes out the scene by musing over the use of ‘man-child,’ stating that in one way, Shigaraki is a lot like their students. He has potential to grow, if only he had a proper mentor to follow. It’s difficult to think about these things.

And so we shift scenes back over to 1a. I doubt this sports festival talk is happening at the same time as the staff meeting, if only because Aizawa should have been at said staff meeting. Or maybe he wasn’t supposed to be there at all and the homerooms were meant to handle themselves that morning? Wait, hold on-

That clock reads 8:25. This is happening during the homeroom period, which means that the other classes are having independant homeroom. Which also means it’s no surprise that Aizawa isn’t at that meeting, because he’s busy hobbling to his class to announce the sports festival. He probably had to be caught up on the meeting stuff later. 

Anyways. The class is surprised over the announcement of the sports festival, someone calling it ‘totally ordinary’ while another (I think Mineta) questions whether Aizawa’s sure about this, since they just had that villain attack. Aizawa states that it’s necessary to demonstrate that UA’s crisis management protocols are sound - or that’s the thinking, anyways. There will be five times the police presence of previous years. Oh, and also the sports festival is the greatest opportunity the class will get. It’s not something that can be cancelled over a few villains. 

Mineta (again?) asks if he’s sure about that, muttering about how it’s ‘just a stupid sports festival.’ Izuku seems completely horrified at the idea that Mineta might have never seen UA’s sports festival, which Mineta hastens to correct - he has, that’s not what he meant. 

I’m sorry just. That face. I can’t with this kid. Jdsjlgkd.

Also, we finally get to the page that had me double-take when I got to it because, well.

So yeah, apparently the BNHA timeline didn’t have certain current events happened that would force the cancellation of the Olympics. (I mean, obviously Hori had no way of knowing the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo would be cancelled, but it’s still like a huge sign of how long this series has been running that this is here.)

Moving on, basically the above surmises for readers that the sports festival is as big an event to them as the Olympics are to us. So basically, super hype. Momo notes that all the nation’s top heroes will be watching and scouting. Kaminari adds on how the heroes will be looking to hire the hero students as sidekicks after they graduate. Jirou makes a cutting retort how a lot of those sidekicks never manage to go solo, stuck as sidekicks forever, before telling Kaminari that’ll be him. 

Shot through the heart.

(Also a total aside I just realized: current manga events likely mean there will be no sports festival for 2a. I mean, I would say the events happening there are large enough in scope that UA just doesn’t have the inclination or interest in broadcasting vital information the villains could use. And like, no scouting, no internships, no purpose for it.

And I mean, even if they did, would any of the kids even be able to focus on doing their best? God knows how stressed and nervous they all must be with how society is basically collapsing outside the school.)

Aizawa tells the class that they’ll gain valuable experience and popularity if they’re picked up by a big-name hero. However, their time is limited. They need to show the pros what they’re made of to make futures for themselves. This happens once a year, so they have three shots. If they want to be heroes, this is an event they can’t miss.

The whole class seems to be taking this seriously, but Izuku…

Well, he doesn’t seem as enthused as expected.

Anyways, I’ll cut it there and leave the rest for next time, since there’s a time break in here anyways. It’s not quite halfway, but eh.

[vampiresuns]

picrew credit

It’s Nana’s parents!!! [Insert Screaming Cat meme] Louisa is on the right, and Vlad on the left. Here’s a short bio and some fun facts under the cut:

🫀 Louisa De Silva 🫀

Name: Louisa Aureliana De Silva Lascal.

Meaning of the name: ‘Louisa’ means famous battle, ‘Aureliana’ means golden, gilded. She is named after her paternal grandmother (Louisa) and her mother (Aureliana).

Nicknames: Lulu, Lu, Lucha, Luchita (Lucha is the spanish diminutive for ‘Luisa’, it is, also a pun on ‘fight’, which in spanish is also “lucha”).

Family: Joaquín De Silva (father), Aureliana Lascal (Mother), Paris De Silva (younger sister, owns the Moonstone and Jasmine, the magic shop), Alma De Silva (younger sister), Aelius Anatole (son).

Place of birth: City of Altazor, Altazor, Antiqulla region (the westernmost end of the Bulan range)

Favourite Food: Pollo arvejado, with a side of rice and fries.

Favourite Drink: Chicha, with a lot of ice.

Favourite Flower: Dandelions

Birthday: Feb 22nd

Age: Mid to late fifties

Height: 5′7

Zodiac: Aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising.

Patron Arcana: The Lovers, and Knight of Wands

Upright: partnerships, duality, union, Reversed: loss of balance, one-sidedness, disharmony  

Upright: action, adventure, fearlessness, Reversed: anger, impulsiveness, recklessness     

Gender & Orientation: Cis woman, bisexual.

Languages spoken: Alzor, Venterrean, Vesuvian Common Tongue, Balkovian, some Zadithi.

Magic: N/A, though Vlad has taught her a significant amount of alchemy, she is no magician.

Familiar: N/A

Occupation: Doctor

🥀 Vlad Radošević 🥀

Name: Vladislav Elyseo Radošević-Cassano

Meaning of the name: ‘Vlad’ means rule, and ‘slav’ means glory. ‘Elyseo’ comes from Elysium and means blissful. His middle name is after Elysian Juriša-Radošević, his grandmother.

Nicknames: Vlad, Eli (used exclusively by Valerian), Moj Mali (used exclusively by Mircea, means ‘my little one’)

Family: Matilda Cassano (biological mother, deceased), Krešmir Radošević (biological father, deceased), Mircea Radoševic (uncle and adoptive father), Florentino Cassano (uncle and adoptive father), Valeriy ‘Valerius’ Radoševic-Cassano (younger brother), Aelius Anatole (son).

Place of birth: Vesuvia — he considers himself Balkovian, however.

Favourite Food: Seafood peka.

Favourite Drink: The Blood Of His Enemies Coffee and Grapefruit soda, not together.

Favourite Flower: Heather, Tansy.

Birthday: October 25th

Age: Late fifties to 60.

Height: 6′5

Zodiac: Scorpio sun, Aries moon, Virgo rising.

Patron Arcana: The Lovers and King of Cups

Upright: partnerships, duality, union, Reversed: loss of balance, one-sidedness, disharmony  

Upright: compassion, control, balance, Reversed: coldness, moodiness, bad advice

Gender & Orientation: Cis man, bisexual.

Languages spoken: Balkovian, Vesuvian Common Tongue, Venterrean, Zadithi, Alzor, Nevivic, Hesperian. His Prakran is abysmal, but he can read it.

Magic: Alchemy.

Familiar: Cyrila ‘Kiki’ and Cecilia ‘Keke’, two Somali cats. You tell them apart because Kiki looks like she’s never produced a single thought in her life, and Keke because she looks like she thinks you’re a humongous idiot.

Occupation: Alchemist, researcher. 

Fun facts 🫀🥀

Vlad’s rapier (all the R-C have one) is called ‘Beheaded Voivode’. He can set the blade aflame through Alchemy.

Louisa was exiled from Altazor at the age of 20, then lived in Venterre and Zadith, were she finished her medical studies. She moved to Balkovia for what was supposed to be a 6 months programme and scientific coven, but then she met Vlad and she ended up staying. She was exiled for opposing the dictatorial regime existing in the country.

While Louisa knows alchemy —which she learnt to become a better doctor— she doesn’t consider herself a magic user. She, however, can lend her life force to Vlad if the need arises. This creates a unity of energy between them which Vlad can channel into more powerful alchemy. This is because they’re beneficiaries of The Lovers.

Thematically both of them are about breaking bad parenting cycles. Vlad’s parents were notoriously irresponsible, neglectful and despondent parents, with Matilda being even cruel and purposefully hurtful. Louisa’s were extremely unaccommodating, strict to the point of traumatising and extremely hypocritical. Neither of them wished to have children until they realised they could do it together.

Vlad and Louisa did not marry until the war in Balkovia ended. It began months before Anatole was born, and it ended when he was around the ages of three/four.

Vlad calls Anatole ‘Lilu’ and ‘Lily’, it comes from little.

Vlad’s monocle is functional. It’s made of alchemy altered glass and it’s the design of a group of fellow alchemists and Vlad himself. He has very little vision on his left eye due to almost blowing up a room trying to stabilise fireroot. He was successful, making him the first person to ever stabilise the compound through a stable, long-lasting method. In the future, Anatole uses his father’s alchemic breakthrough to provide public lighting to the streets of Vesuvia. This method is currently used in Balkovia for public buildings, since it requires very little money to run.

Both of them are quick tempered, but understanding with people they love. It’s if they don’t like you the problem.

Originally, Vlad thought Louisa was an alchemist because she was describing the process of lightening up a Molotov.

Louisa knows how to use firearms. She learnt in Altazor, when she began getting involved in the fight and protest against the dictatorship in it. She still has good aim, but is out of practice and prefers it that way. She prefers to focus in ways to help those affected.

Her best medicine is ER medicine and field medicine. She is trained to be a war doctor and was a volunteer when time permitted in the Balkovian war.

While Louisa’s relationship with her parents eased with time, it is not good. She prefers to keep them at a distance.

Originally, Aureliana and Joaquín opposed Louisa marrying Vlad. They even tried to make her go back to Altazor or at least Venterre when the war began, but Louisa told them she would rather take out her own femur and eat it. She, clearly, harboured a lot of resentment for them, as they were key to her exile. 

Louisa’s favourite Radošević outside of her husband was Elysian. It was the first time she had a positive role model whose politics were the same as hers, and didn’t punish her for it.

Vlad’s biggest personality trait is ‘I Love My Wife, I Love My Son’.

Louisa was one of the few doctors to treat poor people in Vesuvia who caught the Plague.

Vlad can only draw objects (for invention designs) and buildings.

Both of them read a lot. It’s not weird to find them having reading dates.

Vlad has a series of Alchemic symbols tattooed around his wrist. He uses them as magic on-the-go.

When raising Anatole, they privileged communication, autonomy, self-expression and support more than anything else. Even through his argumentative teenager phase.

Speaking of their son, Anatole takes after Louisa in terms of politics, moral compass, and determination to see things done and to do what is right.

Vlad’s politics can be summarised in “If you’re told not to tamper with the shelf, and you do, and it falls on your head, then that was your own damn fault”.

Whenever Vlad began brooding because he was “sure” Louisa didn’t like him, his cats bit him.

Louisa housed and protected her sister Paris when she ran away from Altazor looking for her, upon discovering the real reason why her sister was sent away. Paris showed up out of the blue at her doorstep. Their other sister, Alma, helped her orchestrate the escape.

Louisa gets ready in 30 minutes, tops. Vlad in 2 hours.

While Valerius acts like he can’t stand her, he actually loves and respects Louisa a ridiculous amount.

Vlad is more emotional than Louisa but has more trouble showing it. He’s gotten better with time.

Vlad sails. Louisa always makes fun of him for being insanely competitive, but joke’s on her because she’s just as bad. As a true Aquarius sun and a Sag moon, she hates being told what to do. Whenever she gets like that, Vlad just looks at her with heart eyes.

Vlad is closest to Violeta Radošević, Milenko’s mother, out of his generation of cousins. 

Except for formal occasions, Louisa doesn’t wear shirts or dresses that go past her ankles. Prefers them to the calf, as she needs to be able to move freely (she moves a lot).

It’s very likely Louisa is the one with undiagnosed ADHD out of the two of them, hence where Nana gets it from. She’s never checked. 

Louisa loves dancing (so does Vlad but he hates admitting it), and she taught Anatole most of what she knew. As she grew up, she was constantly in dancing lessons, inspired by her own mother’s love of ballroom dancing. It’s one of the few things she’s fully grateful about.

This is more of a language fun fact than anything else, but Alzor and Nopali are extremely similar languages, and are almost virtually interchangeable.

They both stand by ‘one child is enough’ but end up adopting all of Anatole’s friends on accident, sometimes, even his partners a little, depending on the verse we are in.

Finally, out of the Arcana canon characters, Vlad would get along the best with Nadia, Salim and Aisha. Louisa would get along the best with Nadia, Julian and Portia.

[pricechecktranslations]

E.A.T. Prologue; Scene 6

E.A.T. Prologue pages 20-34

“—The parallel world we visited first, the ‘World of Giants and Beastmen’…There, we were subject to the situation where all of the residents of the manor excluding myself and Fry were murdered. …Though well, Ron has a deathless body, so he revived again immediately afterwards.”

Ron scratched his head as he listened to Lich’s story, his mood a touch complicated.

Miserably enough, he’d been the first one to get cut down by the traitor Jarre.

But as Lich said he was revived quickly, and after that under Lich’s orders he had given his undivided attention to maintaining the “Fat Man” that powered the mansion’s movement, it having become unsteady.

Lich’s explanation continued.

“Fortunately, aside from Ron the residents of this manor were already souls to begin with. I had made them bodies out of a special mud, and it was these that they were all dwelling inside. The ‘Soul Archives’ we have packed into the ship…Inside them is the data that forms the basis of each soul. In other words, as long as the ‘Soul Archives’ are not destroyed, then we can be resurrected as many times as needed, even if our bodies are destroyed.”

However.

There was a problem with that.

They could come back if they had bodies, but the reverse was also true—without a body, they would remain souls, unable to be revived.

“There wasn’t any of the ‘mud’ suitable for use in creating new bodies in the ‘World of Giants and Beastmen’.”

So then, Lich had been forced to use different bodies instead.

The only thing he was able to come up with in those circumstances were the ones who had attacked the manor—

The corpses of the bunny hero Jarre and his friends.

“For everyone other than Lady Banica, the bodies and souls were successfully compatible. However—”

Ron made a guess on seeing Lich’s clouded expression. “They didn’t work for Lady Banica. Why is that?”

After casting his eyes down for a moment, Lich looked up and replied, “—The only thing I can think of is a difference in the quality of her soul.”

“…? What does that mean?”

“Arte, Pollo, myself, and Eater…Seth as well I suppose—the quality of our souls is a little bit different from that of the average human. To put it in a way that you would understand, Mr. Ron…Basically, ours are souls are closer in nature to that of ‘gods’.”

“…”

Ron felt that he really didn’t actually understand that at all, but he could grasp the part about them not being “average humans” at least.

“However, Lady Banica…was originally a normal human being.”

That was true.

If she hadn’t been set upon and bewitched by a demon…she would have led her life as a normal person, and died that way.

“Through her contract with Vlad—with the demon, her soul had gained some particular properties; but that contract was broken before we set out on this journey. The demon did not come with us, opting instead to remain in our original world, and so at present it’s impossible to renew that contract.”

“So then…now we can’t resurrect Lady Banica?”

Lich replied, looking over at Ron as he pressed him for answers, “…We have several methods. The first is to search for ‘mud’ suitable for making her a new body. But there’s no guarantee that we’ll be able to find any hereafter in the course of our journey.”

“…What if we returned to our original world? There would be mud to make a body with there, surely?”

But Lich shook his head.

“That would be difficult. There’s an obstacle to it.”

“An obstacle?”

“A ‘ghost’. You recall that some trouble occurred the first time we shifted to a new plane, yes?”

“Yeah, I remember…Some trouble with an unknown cause put us on the verge of crashing—”

“Through my investigations afterward, I have determined that the cause was the ‘Ma Ghost’.”

“What…in the world is that?”

“A ‘pure evil’ that was responsible for our world being destroyed…You could call it an amalgamated entity. Though as of yet I’m not that clear on the specifics. Whatever the case, what is certain is that it’s a being that tries to destroy everything that comes in or out of that world.”

Lich advised that going back would be too dangerous until they’d found some method of dealing with it.

“So then, the other option available to us is…to find Lady Banica’s ‘alter ego’.”

“…I’m not smart like you are. I’d appreciate it if you could try to avoid using such specialized terminology when possible.”

“To put it simply, it’s a being that has Lady Banica’s ‘alternate self’. There’s a chance of one existing in every parallel world. Well…truthfully this is outside of my area of expertise…All this is assuming you believe what Seth has told us.”

“Shall I explain in more depth?” Seth cut in.

But Lich firmly shook his head.

“That’s enough. I’m certain that if we go on for too much longer you’ll just start rambling on contents entirely inconsequential to myself and Mr. Ron.”

“I suppose. I just thought this would finally be a good opportunity to talk about my advanced theory, so that’s unfortunate.”

Ron pondered over the current discussion and then concluded, trying to help himself understand in his own way, “So you’re saying we need to find this ‘alter-ego’…this alternate Lady Banica that might be in this parallel world?”

“That’s basically it. In the majority of cases the alter-ego will be different from Lady Banica in appearance, personality, and even name and identity. However, the soul will be of the same quality as Lady Banica’s…To put it another way, the body that the soul dwells inside has a high probability of being compatible with Lady Banica.”

And there, Ron recalled something.

The girl that Lich had brought over earlier.

“Could it be…that that girl with the horn is Lady Banica’s—”

“Yes. She is, without a doubt, Lady Banica’s ‘alter-ego’ that exists here in this ‘World of Angels and Demons’.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“Through analysis of the Akashic Record.”

“Sigh. I’ve no idea whatsoever what this ‘Akashic Record’ is…but if you say so, then it must be right.” Ron then said, adopting a more depressed attitude, “…Are you going to kill the girl?”

“I suppose I’ll have to. Only one soul can dwell in a single body. I don’t know what the risk is of forcibly pushing a second one in.”

“Do we…have the right to do that? To steal a person’s life for our own gain.”

But Lich calmly replied, not even pretending to look unsettled in the least, “Of course we do.”

“…Hmph, that’s right. You are all ‘beings close to gods’, of course. But…I’m not. Even if I’ve become like this, I was originally a normal human. I…can’t accept you doing such a thing.”

“Then what are you saying we should do? The way things are now, Lady Banica will forever be a disembodied soul. Are you alright with that?”

“…”

“To resurrect Lady Banica, we need to kill her alter-ego and obtain her body—Right now, that’s the only choice we have.”

He said that, but Ron still wasn’t convinced.

--When Banica had made her contract with the demon, Ron had already become one of the living dead, and so had no way to stop her.

He’d been unable to stop her falling to ‘evil’.

He couldn’t let the same thing happen again.

…Before, there had been another option available for Ron.

To follow the will of the gods and pass through that ‘gate’, carrying out his reincarnation.

But with his soul bound to a physical body, Ron hadn’t known…what would happen to him when he entered that ‘gate’.

Maybe his curse would have been lifted.

But he had no proof that it would.

In short, it was a sink-or-swim situation.

Some of Ron’s former family had been among the souls who’d passed through the ‘gate’.

But Ron felt that too much time had passed to earnestly rejoice in reuniting with them.

And apparently these family members would have ultimately had their memories erased as soon as they went through the ‘gate’ anyway.

He wasn’t afraid of that in itself.

Whether he died or was erased, it was all the same.

Rather, Ron had always wished before that his curse could be lifted so he could finally die.

“All people…die someday. People all fear death while they’re alive. But…I also know the suffering of being unable to die!” Ron shouted, full of emotion.

But Lich merely chuckled at that, and said back, “Hahah. That’s true. You wandered the world as a living dead man for centuries. It certainly must have been painful. But those are after all just your personal feelings. It has nothing to do with Lady Banica.”

“Perhaps so…But that’s not for you to decide on your own.”

As a tense atmosphere flowed between the two of them, Seth’s voice cut in once more.

“Ah--…It sounds like there’s solid reasoning in both of your arguments from what I’m hearing.”

“Shut your yap, Seth.”

“Now now Lich, don’t be so cruel. In times like these, I think it’s best…to let the person herself decide, don’t you think?”

“…? What do you mean?”

“—Come out now, kitty,” Seth called.

That very moment.

A cat suddenly raced out from below the chair Lich was sitting in.

“A cat…What’s a cat doing here?”

Ron gazed upon the cat with confusion.

On the other hand, Lich…was clearly disturbed.

And then he started shouting at the mask on the wall.

“Seth! You bastard…You’ve taken too much of a liberty!”

Then, after the cat jumped up to Lich’s knees, it descended upon his face.

And started quickly scratching at his cheeks with its claws.

“Ow!?”

Lich tumbled backwards out of his chair while the cat landed calmly on the ground, giving him a side-eye.

Looking up at him, the red-furred cat said—

--Yes, the cat…emitted a human voice.

It was the third time he’d witnessed such a scene today alone, so that in itself was naturally not all that surprising to Ron.

The problem was, this voice was unmistakably that of Banica Conchita herself.

“Calm down, Lich…And you too, Ron.”

“L-Lady Banica!?”

Ron’s eyes opened wide, and he peered down at the cat before him.

“Ha ha ha!” He could hear Seth’s loud laughter from the mask. “I felt sorry for Banica, having to stay as a soul until we found the alter-ego. Prodigy that I am, I prepared a temporary body for her! …Though, well, it’s just a simple animate plushy, a replica of something that I made long ago for a different purpose.”

“I see…Or, that’s what I’d like to say. Hah. Truly, there’s never a dull moment with you all around.” After heaving a great sigh, Ron started speaking to Banica. “It may be temporary, but thank goodness that you had a body prepared for you, Lady Banica…In any case, doesn’t this solve the problem?”

“What are you talking about. This body can only drink milk.”

“Oh, you can drink milk.”

“I’ll dry up if I don’t take in moisture.”

It was plainly evident that this was a little bit different from a normal plushy. In terms of its properties it seemed to be similar to the mud bodies that Lich made.

“Lady Banica…What do you intend to do now? Will you make your alter-ego’s body your own after all—”

“Hmm…I’m not sure.” Banica hopped into the chair that Lich had been sitting in a few moments before. “I caught a glance of her earlier…Her looks aren’t too bad. Though I’m a little concerned about that horn on her forehead. There’s a bigger problem than that, though…”

Banica looked up at Lich as he finally stood.

“Lich, that girl…seems to be blind.”

“Yes, you are correct. …Let me explain a little bit on her.”

Lich drew up to the front-most monitor in the cockpit and flicked its switch.

What came up to the screen was something that looked like a map and several pieces of information.

“First, about this world that we’re in now…This place is nicknamed the ‘World of Angels and Demons’. Needless to say, it’s another parallel world of the Third Period. In terms of climate, chemical configuration, and various other factors it greatly resembles the world of Evillious where we used to live…The biggest difference is in the species that dominates this world.”

Banica replied to Lich’s explanation, “The world we were in before was ruled by giants and beastmen. Is this place along similar lines?”

“Yes. The beings that govern this world…Or to be more accurate, used to govern it—was a species called ‘demons’.”

“Demons…Huh. Those were in our world too.”

“The ‘demons’ of this world are vastly different from the like of the ‘Demon of Deadly Sin’ that you once contracted with, Lady Banica. The ‘Demons of Deadly Sin’ were beings that could be said to share kinship with gods; the ‘demons’ of this world are…It would probably be best to just think of them as a kind of race. In other words, little more than a variety of demi-humans.”

“Moving on then…You just said that they ‘used’ to govern this world. So then…you’re saying they don’t anymore.”

Lich nodded.

“That’s right. Unfortunately, this world is already in a state of ruin. A race called ‘angels’ who didn’t like the existence of demons had waged war upon them.”

Apparently Lich couldn’t find out many of the particulars on these ‘angels’ even after some investigation.

“At present, at least, they don’t exist in this world any longer. Either they’ve already gone extinct, or else they’ve taken refuge somewhere where we can’t sense them with the mansion’s devices…”

Assuming that was even possible, Lich amended.

“What we do know is that those ‘angels’ were a race of humanoids that had wings on their back.”

“How do you know that?”

“That girl…Baum, she said so. She heard the sound of my wings flapping and mistakenly thought that I was an angel.”

There, Ron raised his hand and asked Lich, “I hate to butt in, but…When you brought that girl here, Sir Lich, you had changed form into a black bird. As far as I know…you didn’t have an ability like that before.”

“Ah…About that…While I was shifting Pollo and the others’ souls into the beastmen bodies, I quickly did something of an ‘experiment’ using my own body, just to be sure. To check to see that it wouldn’t be rejected or anything.”

A side effect had occurred with Lich’s body as a result…Before he knew it, he had gained that power of transformation.

“…You take unnecessary risks, you know.”

“Well, it’s thanks to this ability I was able to gain her trust and quickly bring her here.”

“…Wait just a second. There’s something odd in what you’ve just said, isn’t there?” This time it was Banica who asked Lich a question. “From what you’ve told us, this girl is a ‘demon’, right? Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“Then if she’s convinced you’re an ‘angel’, a group that opposed hers…Why would that make her trust you?”

“I didn’t know that she thought I was an ‘angel’ when we first met, so I just normally offered her help. I said I would take her to a safe place, given that she’d lost her sight and was injured. It probably…left a deep impression on her, to hear those words coming from an ‘angel’, who should have been her enemy. There is that proverb after all, ‘Yesterday’s enemies could be today’s friends’. Naturally, you could also say that I pulled it off with my natural charisma, haha.”

Banica replied to Lich’s boasting with an unamused expression. “You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”

“Ha ha, of course not. …I’m positive she came with me intending to kill me when I was asleep.”

Ron looked imploringly up to the heavens in astonishment. “Have you forgotten what caused this entire situation, Lich?”

“It won’t turn out like with Jarre, Ron. The other ‘demons’ are all but wiped out, and she herself doesn’t have any particular abilities. I’m sure we can deal with her.”

“Are you really so sure?”

Ron didn’t seem convinced, but Banica on the other hand let out a relaxed laugh.

“Haha, you worry too much, Ron.”

“But…”

“For now at least let’s listen to Lich’s full explanation…Please, continue.”

Taking Banica’s invitation, Lich cleared his throat and resumed his speech.

“—About that girl in particular…Her name is Baum Kuren. She was the imperial princess of the ‘Prasino Empire’, which used to rule over the demons. The Prasino Empire struggled against the angels to the very end, but my investigation tells me that all but Baum were killed off by the angels.”

On hearing that, Banica made a sound of pity.

“Oh my…She must be brimming with thoughts of revenge.”

“Baum herself lost her eyes after being burned by the angels. I said this earlier, but I am completely certain that she is your alter-ego, Lady Banica. …Though, naturally, I intend to do another inspection after this.” Lich once more turned to Banica, and said with a resolute demeanor, “Lady Banica. Please give me permission to kill Baum Kuren. I’ll make sure not to do any harm to the body itself. Once it’s all finished, you will be able to obtain a body that you can freely take meals in again. You wouldn’t be stuck in such a useless cat body as—”

Banica leaped at Lich and scratched his face once more.

“Who are you to call your master useless?”

“Ouch, ow…No, I didn’t mean it like that…”

“…Alright. You’ll need to do something about her eyes first. There’s no way I’m going to be blind when I return to a regular body.”

“Right, never fear on that front. With my skills I should have little trouble restoring her eyes.”

Seth had been silent for a while now, but there he opened his mouth to speak.

…Or rather, given that he didn’t currently have a mouth, it was more that they simply heard his voice.

“Going to reconstruct her eyeballs, hm? You certainly have the ability…but where are you going to get the materials?”

“I don’t have any mud, but I do have the beastmen corpses. I’ll look for someone among them who has suitable eyes.”

“I doubt that’ll work out. Beastmen and demons…Have you forgotten that these are races from two different worlds?”

“I’ll manage. You shut up, Seth.”

“Right…Well, I’ll just pray that you putting beastman genes into your body didn’t make you stupid as a side effect.”

Banica jumped from Lich’s head back down to the ground.

“Well, at any rate we’ll have to postpone this discussion until her eyes are fixed.”

“Yes…That shouldn’t take me long to do.”

“Hmm. I’m counting on you, Lich.”

“Yes my lady. Now then…I’d like to start making preparations for my work right away,” Lich said, rushing out of the cockpit.

“…Lady Banica.” Ron walked up to the red cat and began speaking to her. “Do you really intend to take that girl’s body for your own?”

“Well, maybe, maybe not…What would you think if it was you, Ron?”

“Huh? If what were me?”

“Your alter-ego, another you from a different world. If such a person appeared before you.”

“…I don’t know.”

“As for me…I’m quite excited over the whole thing!”

To Ron it looked like the cat’s eyes were sparkling.

<<prev------directory------next>>

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

The BNHA Group Chat Fic Nobody Asked For

Pairings: Todoroki Touya (Dabi)/Mr/ Compress (Sako Atsuhiro), Shimura Tenko (Shigaraki Tomura)/Chisaki Kai (Overhaul)/Kurono Hari (Chrono), Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)/Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)/Shirakumo Oboro (Loud Cloud), Fukukado Emi (Ms. Joke)/Kayama Nemuri (Midnight)

Word Count: 1,088 Words

Summary: Todo-siblings, teacher shenanigans, the 1-A twins accidentally freeze out the fifth floor, and Kirishima is best boy.

Warnings: Cursing, Sleep Deprivation, Insomnia, Abuse Mention, Mensuration/Period Mentions, Caps, Food Mention, Half Blind Character, Deaf Characters, Anxiety Mention, Mostly Mute Character (due to a different medical issue), Selectively Mute Character, let me know if I should add anything else.

Note: Natsuo and Fuyumi's chat names are based on quirk headcanons I have for them. Natsuo's is because I headcanon him to have a quirk where he can manipulate and generate water like Shoto can with his ice and Fuyumi's because I headcanon her to have a thermal manipulation quirk. Touya's is 'wine' because white and red wine and his hair is red and white.

Usernames: We Are Number One™ Aizawa: Dadzawa, Aoyama: immafiringmahlaser, Ashido: princessbubblegumknockoff, Asui: Galvan, Iida: Emergency Exit, Uraraka: 9.8, Ojiro: tailfloof, Kaminari: Pichu, Kirishima: baby shark, Koda: youredoingamazingsweetie, Sato: GuyFieriIsGod, Shoji: Cthulhu, Jirou: Jack Skellington, Sero: Spider-Man, Tokoyami: EdgarAllanCrows, Todoroki: WHERE?, Hagakure: cena, Bakugo: WHAT?, Midoriya: SmolMight, Mineta: Mineta, Shinsou: exhausted, Yaoyorozu: TheGreatCreator, Kurono: stopwatch, Chisaki: donthugmeimscared, Yukimura: choticgaydisaster, Bubaigawara: shadowclonejutsu, Shimura: idontfeelsogood, Awase: illrememberyouallintherapy, Kaibara: IDOWHATIWANT, Kamakiri: scyther, Kuroiro: itsmeyaboy, Kendo: Akimichi, Kodai: deadinside, Komori: shroomgurl, Shiozaki: wElCoMeToBiBlEsTuDiEs, Shishida: furry, Shoda: cryptid, Tsunotori: mylittlepony, Tsubaraba: airbender, Tetsutetsu: Iron Man, Tokage: t-rex costume, Fukidashi: glorifiedtextbubble, Honenuki: Eren Jaeger/spookyscaryskeletons, Bondo: Slimer, Monoma: HopeSummers, Yanagi: iLiEdImDyInGiNsIdE, Rin: snek, Toga: mystique, Sako: lostmymarbles, Hikiishi: queenofmagnetism, Iguchi: eye gucci, Shinokanri: stardust

Usernames: Emos Anonymous Kaminari: blackcloakedbrides, Shoji: fryingpan, Jirou: greentwentyfourhours, Tokoyami: myscientificinfatuation, Todoroki: twentyoneplotpoints, Bakugo: immobileinwhite, Midoriya: falldownboy, Shinsou: stabtheveil, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Chisaki: plummetingininverse, Yukimura: anxietyintheclub, Shimura: nappingwithsirens, Kuroiro: thousandfootcane, Kodai: marianaspit, Monoma: entiretimelow, Yanagi: recentyearsday, Sako: halfminutetomars, Aizawa: hollywoodlivingdead, Shouji: fryingpan, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Aoyama: phantomtown, Honenuki: visualizedragon, Sako: halfminutetomars, Awase: distressparade, Shinokanri: simplestrategy

Usernames: UA Teachers Are Tired™ Eraserhead/Aizawa: grumpy scarf cat, Present Mic/Yamada: screeching cockatiel, Midnight/Nemuri: chaotic goth gay Ingenium/Iida: gotta go fast, AllMight/Toshinori: actual sunshine, Vlad King/Kan: bloody hell, Power Loader/Majima: speechtotext, Ectoplasm: needalegup?, Snipe: kazoo cowboy, Cementoss: concrete block, Blackmist/Kurogiri: goth portals

We Love A Good, Caring Dadzawa In This House-Chapter 3

11:38 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

chaotic goth gay: so anygay we ever gonna talk bout the fact that the twins in 1a plan to take a week home?

kazoo cowboy: no??? it's their personal life????

needalegup?: I say we leave the boys alone.

screeching cockatiel: they don't like being referred to at 'the twins' Nemuri. They're separate beings.

chaotic goth gay: okay, the two canadian flags of Shouta's 25 nearly adopted children.

grumpy scarf cat: you're right but why say it?

bloody hell: I thought his class was 26 students now like mine? who tf you forgetting Nemuri?

chaotic goth gay: no one I be leaving out that little grapist tho. hate him and so does Shouta

screeching cockatiel: OwO oh worm?

grumpy scarf cat: never again Hizashi. never again.

screeching cockatiel: OvO

grumpy scarf cat: i hate you.

screeching cockatiel: love you too babe uwu

grumpy scarf cat: well,

grumpy scarf cat: i'm gonna go yeet myself off the roof for that one.

screeching cockatiel: Nuuuuuuu, how will me Hitoshi and Ayane ever survive without you!?

grumpy scarf cat: tru tru

grumpy scarf cat: I'll take Hitoshi with me.

screeching cockatiel: you wouldn't dare!

grumpy scarf cat: again tru tru

2:24 AM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

grumpy scarf cat: yeet yeet bitch he finally asleep [pic of Hitoshi asleep against Aizawa's side with Ayane asleep between them]

chaotic goth gay: that's perfect.

chaotic goth gay has changed their name to yeet yeet bitch

yeet yeet bitch: thank boi me sleep now

yeet yeet bitch is offline

4:14 AM

We Are Number One™

WHERE?: so anyway I'm ready to yeet our dad into the sun but that's too good for him

chaoticdisastergay: oh worm???? same hat??? could stand to snow his eyes out first tho

immafirinmahlaser: why y'all puttin ur father on blast in the main chat?

WHERE?: wait, where? oh fuck wrong one Touya, wrong one! mayday mayday

SmolMight: I was summoned my the word mayday what happened

SmolMight: oh

SmolMight: well then

lostmymarbles: Dear? Please lay down? I was comfortable?

chaoticdisastergay: well, speaking of tmi, I thought it was just a bathroom run but turns out my monthly came a week early, Atsu. I'm coming back.

WHERE?: that was a long time in the bathroom but okay.

lostmymarbles: Yeah, almost an hour. I'm lonely, the bed feels cold without you, snowdrop!

chaoticdisastergay: I had to shower over in the 1a dorms too, calm down.

lostmymarbles: Kay, come back to bed, I wanna cuddle.

SmolMight: Such precious. Most pure. We have been blessed with witnessing this couple be cute.

WHERE?: so anNYway, Touya, you goin back to the family chat?

chaoticgaydisaster: yee

4:30 AM

Trauma? Yeet. Memes? Yoink.

vulpix: anygay. still wanna yeet our dad into the sun but it'd still be too good for him.

lapis: I??? feel that????? wtf???????

thermostat: oh? a mood? in this good household?

wine: i really just want to go back to sleep but the brain machine broke i'm woke

vulpix: oh worm?

thermostat: anyway gotta actually get outta bed soon, drop off your girls at daycare, get mine to school, and go to work.

lapis: fine, gonna go with ya

thermostat: mhmmmm sure you are, you're gonna fall asleep in 20 minutes Natsuo.

lapis: that may be but i'll at least try

thermostat: doubt

thermostat is offline

8:24 AM

We Are Number One™

cena: so anyway tea apparently shoto and touya are going home all next week

princessbubblegumknockoff: oh? drama?

WHERE?: family visit no drama

chaoticgaydisaster: just visiting our family

SmolMight: so anygay Aizawa told us we have someone special visiting a1 today for class!

Spider-Man: I wonder who it is!

Dadzawa: toshi cmon I gotta get to class and drop you off like a gay goth god of insomniac children

exhausted: hol up im eating still

exhausted is offline

Dadzawa is offline

cena: well, no answers from them i guess

Emergency Exit: Everyone, please get off your phones in class!

9:37 AM

We Are Number One™

itsmeyaboy: so who was it that came to your class?

TheGreatCreator: The Big Three of UA

itsmeyaboy: huh. we had Hawks, Ryukyu, and Mirko

Iron Man: The Three Greats of UA

HopeSummers: We win.

SmolMight: Meh, we both got good people to teach us.

HopeSummers: Valid, carry on.

2:28 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

gotta go fast: so anyway, am i ever gonna get told why there's someone named speechtotext in this chatroom and who all they are?

kazoo cowboy: That's Majima with the support course.

needalegup?: he couldn't figure out how to work his phone with his fingers when we first made this chat and he used speech to text a lot.

goth portals: we used to get a lot of text messages where Hatsume had spoken over him and it became too much of a meme so Nemuri changed his name to speechtotext.

gotta go fast: understandable, have a nice day.

7:24 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: um guys all of floor five is frozen what happened?

Galvan: the girls' side isn't but it's getting cold over here

GuyFieriIsGod: My door is frozen shut.

Spider-Man: Todoroki or Yukimura must have had a nightmare again

TheGreatCreator: Does this happen often?

Spider-Man: more than you'd believe.

GuyFieriIsGod: Does anyone have an ice pick?

Galvan: i'm going downstairs before it spreads

TheGreatCreator: That's a good idea, Tsu, we don't want you getting too cold and hibernating.

WHAT?: wow

Spider-Man: wow? just wow? dude, help us!

WHAT?: ...

WHAT?: perish.

baby shark: I'm coming!

7:45 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: KIRISHIMA IS A GODSEND

GuyFieriIsGod: He got us out.

TheGreatCreator: It was easier because Todoroki likely melted it.

GuyFieriIsGod: Anyway, now that we're free, I'm making breakfast if anyone wants any. 1b and Shinsou included

WHAT?: wow

cena: Is Bakugo okay?

SmolMight: Yeah, that's just his morning brain. That happens if he gets less than an hour of sleep. He kinda short circuits for about an hour.

Pichu: excellent. thank you for this knowledge.

princessbubblegumknockoff: sometimes I question if your have a death wish.

Pichu: a death wish to get him to hug me and tell me i'm cute dammit!

Pichu is offline

baby shark: a very pure death wish. we don't deserve you denki!

WHERE?: It's been made apparent to me that I froze the fifth floor and I'm sorry.

chaoticgaydisaster: and I made enough snow it was practically snowmen

princessbubblegumknockoff: THEY RISE!

WHERE?: too early for this i need a pot of coffee

chaoticgaydisaster: mood but also gimme half dammit

Taglist: @logan-sanders-enthusiast @luckyicekitsune @whippedbel @lgbtforeverything @pinecone-chomper @mikmacmoo @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @purplespiderstormcloud @stankyratman @king-of-the-oranges @headcannons-and-random-things @fear-ze-queer @turtleluv799 @ymmm-someone

[gellavonhamster]

herr lucifer, beware, beware

Dracula x Carmilla crossover || Lucy Westenra & (/?) Carmilla Karnstein

ao3 link eng || ao3 link rus

Out of the ash

I rise with my red hair  

And I eat men like air.

– Sylvia Plath, Lady Lazarus

 Lucy dyes her hair for the first time in her life already after her death.

Twilight reigns in the room, where the air smells of perfume and mustiness; all windows are curtained, and the only light is coming from some thoroughly melted candles. This, however, causes difficulty neither for Lucy, as lately she has no trouble seeing in the dark, nor for her new acquaintance who has armed herself with a thick brush and is presently putting dye on Lucy’s hair. The flame of the candle standing on the table in front of Lucy keeps trembling nervously. A drop of dye falls on the bed sheet that Lucy is draped in as if in another shroud.  

“It’s green,” Lucy murmurs as she casts a glance at the swamp-coloured stain on her knees. In truth, she does not care much about the future colour of her hair – it is no longer possible for her to go for a stroll in daylight anyway.    

“That is just for now. On your hair, it will look red,” assures her Carmilla. That was how she introduced herself: “Call me Carmilla. This one is my favourite name.” It was her idea to dye Lucy’s hair. “It’s a small town, darling. You don’t need to be recognized. It’s enough that this much people are aware that you do not rest in peace.” ‘This much’ means her Arthur and Professor Van Helsing and Dr. Seward and Mr. Morris. Lucy watched them from behind the wall of someone’s moss-covered crypt while Carmilla – back then she didn’t know her name yet – was covering Lucy’s mouth with her hand and whispering in her ear: “See what they brought with them? They came to murder you. Forget what they meant to you, for they have ceased caring what you meant to them.” Lucy struggled to break away but couldn’t, because Carmilla, petite and delicate and outwardly not older than she, was as strong as five adult men – neither could she not look at the sharp wooden stake in Arthur’s hands. Then she let Carmilla lead her away from the graveyard, and left Arthur and the others by the crypt, possibly to wait for her until morning.

“It smells like grass,” Lucy observes. The dye smells of grass indeed and, ever so slightly, of cucumbers, for some reason.

“It’s henna, my dear. It’s made from dried leaves.” After the final dab, Carmilla throws the brush into a basin, pulls the bed sheet off Lucy, tears off a piece of fabric with ease, and wraps it around Lucy’s hair. “Now you have to wait for about two hours, and then wash your hair.”

It appears that Carmilla finds it all amusing – dyeing Lucy’s hair, picking out her own dresses to give her. Lucy follows her instructions almost mechanically, without much thought. The world around her is now far too full of sounds and smells and colours, much more than it used to be, and her new life is far too full of rules she doesn’t understand properly yet and finds perplexing. Therefore, if Carmilla needs her in order to stave off boredom, then she needs Carmilla in order to learn to navigate this new world without dying for the second time. Besides, she is all but constantly starving, and Carmilla is a much more experienced huntress than she, and doesn’t mind sharing, seeing as she doesn’t waste time on small children, and adults have plenty of blood to spare to satiate the two of them.

There is never any blood left for the ones they suck it from, though – unlike Lucy, Carmilla doesn’t let her prey walk away.  

“It is high time for us, child, to discuss what we are going to do next,” says Carmilla, as if having sensed that Lucy is pondering over the reasons why she needs Carmilla and Carmilla needs her. She sits down on the edge of the table, and looks at Lucy downwards. In the dusk, her eyes shine like those of a cat. “What do you remember about the one who granted you eternal life?”    

What does she remember about the one who killed her?

“Not much,” Lucy says tentatively. Strange as it may be, these memories are clearer now than they were back when she was alive, but still fairly vague, still seeming as much of a nightmare as before. “He was tall, with long dark hair, with a sharp nose. With a dark moustache. With a… cruel face. I don’t know who he was and where he came from – I’ve never seen him in Whitby before.”

“I know who he was,” says Carmilla. Her face, usually so sweet and gentle even as she drinks the blood of another victim, looks just as cruel now. “Vlad Dracula, a Transilvanian count.”

“Are you acquainted?”

“Not in person,” Carmilla looks away. She still looks angry, but aside from hate, a certain suppressed pain is discernible in her countenance. “He took something from me.”

“Took something?” Lucy echoes.

Carmilla gets up, approaches her from behind, and puts her hands on Lucy’s shoulders.

“Have you ever been in love, darling?” she asks. Her dainty hands stroke Lucy’s shoulders through the thin silk of the dressing gown.

Lucy thinks of Arthur – but she is no longer able to think of him the way she used to when she was alive. She is drawn to him as strongly as never before – but at the same time she is also drawn to her other two suitors, whom she only used to fantasise about briefly and lightly, and she cannot figure out what part of this attraction is love, and what is hunger. She thinks of Arthur’s slender neck, of blue lines on Dr. Seward’s pale wrists, of the outlines of veins on Mr. Morris’s strong arms. Of Mina in her bed, blanket thrown off in her sleep, throat bared to the July night. Of their blood that calls to her more vehemently than the dreams of kisses and embraces – although of those as well.    

“Yes,” she replies. If there is one thing she is sure of, it is that she has been in love.

“So have I,” Carmilla tells her quietly. Her hands stop moving.

“What was his name?”

“Her name is not important,” and Lucy feels, inexplicably, a strange joy upon hearing how calmly Carmilla pronounces that ‘her’. She pictures Mina again – Mina, who probably has no idea that her Lucy is gone. “What is important is that she was special. Against my nature I knew that I would not deal with her the same way as with all my previous lovers. I wanted to make it so that we would always be together. To make her the same as me and you. She knew what I was, and agreed to my proposal, just asked me to give her time to settle some affairs she was to leave in the past. That’s how special she was.” Suddenly, Carmilla’s nails sink into her shoulders. “Then he came.”

“What happened next?” Lucy asks. It hurts, but not too much – her reborn body is far tougher than before. She can bear it for a while if it helps her find out what Carmilla wants from her after all. “He bit her first, didn’t he?”  

Carmilla snorts with disdain.

“No. What would that have changed? What would have a man’s bite meant against mine? No, he just drank her dry. All to the last drop. When I found her, she was already dead. Not dead like us, my dear – completely dead.”

So that’s it.

“You want revenge,” Lucy says. Carmilla loosens her grip a little, and bends down so that her cheek is touching Lucy’s.  

“Do you not?” she enquires.

Lucy thinks of Arthur – of the sharpened stake in his hands, of the wedding they didn’t get to have. Of her mother, dead with a mask of horror on her face. Of herself, a carefree and happy girl that exists no more.

She enjoys wandering at night, but she used to love the sun.

“Probably,” she admits gingerly. Carmilla puts her chin on Lucy’s shoulder.  

“Then,” she says with satisfaction, “come to London with me.”

The next couple of hours they spend preparing for the journey – packing dresses and shoes, undergarments and toiletries. In the process, Carmilla enlightens Lucy on the subject of the enemy they are going to face. According to her, he’s not just a vampire – he’s also a sorcerer, and thus more powerful and dangerous by a long way.  

“How will we beat him then?” Lucy cannot help wondering. Carmilla shrugs.  

“By the power of grief and rage, love and loss,” she says. “Also, we’ll catch him by surprise. He doesn’t expect you to come for him, all the more not me. Men like him have a short memory.”

Already towards morning, Lucy bends over the bathtub and washes off the henna. Examining the strands of her wet hair in the candlelight, she sees that they are red.

“I have learned to do without mirrors a long time ago,” remarks Carmilla, hugging her around the waist. “But sometimes one cannot help missing them. Let me assure you, darling, that this colour looks good on you.”

Red like dried blood – her own blood spilled by Dracula, his blood that will get spilled when she and Carmilla get him, the blood of Arthur and Mina and Dr. Seward and Mr. Morris who – somehow it feels so easy to believe it right now – will all be with her sooner or later.

Lucy smiles.

“That’s what I thought,” she says.

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Week Fog/Splatter (Also Works For Darkness/Poison And Glow Stick/REDRUM): Poised To Go Splat

Casper high, predictably, can’t even have a normal dance without it getting interrupted by something ecto.

Danny pushes in the gymnasium doors, drink -which is, in his opinion, unfortunately non-alcoholic punch- already in hand. Side-stepping and leaning against the wall purely to watch the pulsing, flashing, moving strobe lights and laser beams bouncing off and curving over people glowing bright neons thanks to the blacklight. Excluding that light, it was borderline pitch-black; which he finds he’s perfectly content with. Being able to see in even absolute dark and all that. Honestly, this would probably look cooler without his fantastic night vision. Seeing as everyone else probably can’t see the turned off ceiling lights or teachers dressed in dark colours hanging out watching the dance. But fuck, at least his parents aren’t here this time. Lancer is, but Lancer’s probably the only teacher left who doesn’t hate his entire being, guts, and continued existence.

Looking around at the decorations as he wanders aimlessly over to the food table, thank everything the theme was Creepy Critters, guess the school and town were finally tiring of making goddamn everything ghost-themed. Sure it was funny and ironic at first -honestly come on, a ghost going to ghost-themed events? HILARIOUS- but things lose that little spark of novelty real quick. Especially when you are a ghost -or half of one at least-, are surrounded by and fighting other ghosts, have ghost hunters for parents and friends, and live in the most haunted town in the world. Ghosts were their thing but nobody likes a one-trick pony, especially the people living with said pony. Now what does ponies have to do with the current Halloween Casper high ball and him acquiring fake cheesy snacks? Absolutely nothing. He’s not even wearing a pony costume. Sure he thought about it, FrightKnight would argue that undead alicorns absolutely do count as a creepy critter, but Danny’s pretty sure that’s not what the school was going for here.  

Needless to say, Danny’s rocking a pretty solid -if he says so himself- raven costume. And sure, maybe it was glowing all by itself and maybe the feathers were just slightly sentient and made of black moulded ectoplasm, but it’s not like anyone here’s going to notice that. Danny is exceptionally experienced with what people will and will not notice in this school and town. Regardless, he gets his hands on his sweet cheesy puffs... and is instantly disappointed they got the no-name brand. Those things were so greasy they legitimately tasted like straight-up flavourless grease, just with a side of cheese. Like someone poured grease into a mould, filled it with air to make it puffy ‘n shit,  and then sprinkled some cheese on top like an afterthought. Needless to say, he eats an entire handful. Danny Fenton-Phantom is not a man -teen, whatever- of refined tastes or any large amount of standards. He’ll eat cheese-flavoured grease, he’ll do it gladly.

Deciding to meander onto the dance floor aka the centre of the gym, to enjoy the light show and attempt to get lost in it a little. Most people are chitchatting with their friends, dancing stupidly, pretending to be drunk, or pretending they’re about to sneak into the bathroom to fuck purely to get a rise out of the teachers. Sure it takes all of half an hour for someone to start smashing apart glow sticks and smear the liquid around, which of course cause practically half his fellow teens -including him in all honesty- to follow suit, but that’s really par for the course at any Highschool dance worth it’s salt and ectoplasm. Besides, not like he actually had to wash his costume, fuck that he’ll just absorb the ectoplasm into his system; leaving the probably toxic glow stick juice though. He doesn’t have standards but he does have at least a mild desire to not intentionally poison himself. Regardless of the fact that his ectoplasm would just destroy whatever toxins anyway. Thinking of that though, maybe he could, like, drink one or two just to freak people out. It’s not a Casper party unless Danny Fenton does something weird and freaky, right? And pretending to get repeatedly trapped inside the mirrors and writing on them to be freed was so last year, like, literally last year. Yeah fuck it, self-inflicted poisoning be damned, that’s what he’s doing this year. Meaning he promptly snaps one open and shotguns it while winking at one of the teachers he can easily see. They scowl and throw out their hands to the side. Mission accomplished already. Nice.

Vaguely he wonders what the heck his friends are up to while he dances loosely and only absently aware of people around him. He knows neither’s coming, Tucker being grounded and Sam disliking the idea of school parties while also not being willing to tolerate one purely to keep Danny company. Which was fine, he could entertain and enjoy himself by himself just fine. And he gets that he can be a little much for most people, his friends included. But hey, they haven’t totally ditched him in life/half-life, so he’s going to consider it a plus. Tilting his head back to let some of the flashing beams periodically flash him straight in the eyes, how it made everything else blackout for a bit was a nice effect even if the light bordered on painfully bright for those split seconds. He gets his friends pulling away from him some, really it was hard for humans to be close with anything that wasn’t quite human enough. Same reason Vlad was utterly friendless, alongside being an evil nutcase anyway. Danny honestly doesn’t mind, honest, he’s perfected the loner act at least to some degree most of his life. He was always only close enough with people to be able to include them in his social circle. Sure Sam and Tucker got almost unhealthily close and attached to him for a while there, but the whole ‘we almost killed you and need to protect your dumbass now because fuck, you died’ and ‘this hero thing is cool af’ things wore off real quick. Their friendship was effectively back to normal now, close but at arm's length. He liked the breathing space even if it was just slightly lonely. But again, as he spins and twists a little, he’s perfected the sorta-loner thing.

He shotguns another little glow stick -that he’s pretty sure used to be wrapped around someone’s wrist- and lays spread out on the ground; not really giving a damn about occasionally being stepped on and waving off anyone who checks on him with a cheeky ‘I'm good’. That gets boring really quick though, especially as people just consciously know to avoid his spot on the floor now. He paused in his almost attempt to push himself up at hearing someone mutter, “ah yes! Finally got this stupid thing working”. Danny tilting his head at seeing something vibrate on the ceiling before making a hissing sound and spitting out fog. Ah, so they actually dished out for a fog machine? Oh wait, never-mind. It’s got a little green flaming F on it. Ah fuck, he should probably be worried about that, that F was probably ominous all things considered. But he can’t really be bothered to do more than watch it spit fog for a bit, fog machines were frickin’ awesome. He should totally buy one. Or make one.

It don’t take long to hear a couple mildly impressed sounds over the fogging up air above everyone’s heads, and a few complaints about it apparently smelling like rotten lime juice and cat piss. Which yeah, definitely ominous. Weren’t fog machines supposed to smell like fake vanilla or something? Make you wonder just what the Hell the added strong vanilla was there to attempt at covering up. Maybe this was just what it smelled like without the added vanilla. Doubtful and Danny’s hardly ever that lucky. Hence why he’s deciding staying on the floor is officially a good idea. Watching the effect with the lasers ‘n shit is cool as heck though.

He absolutely can tell when the fog gets far enough and thick enough to reach him, ‘cause the ecto making up his costume gets just vaguely liquidy. Oh yeah, he should probably nope out of this situation. At the very least if this stuff destroyed his costume he’d be stuck in just his boxers and a wife-beater. No one needs to see that. Or more specifically, he doesn’t want anyone to see that; considering all the scarring and the muscle he’s at least attempting to hide from the school at large.

Deciding to sit up and immediately deciding that crawling would have been a better idea at feeling like someone just started jabbing tiny needles into his face, which he immediately winces at and gets up. Pushing his way past the people, some looking legitimately drunk or otherwise like hot garbage. Zone, he probably looks drunk right about now since there is precisely zero chance he’s walking in a straight line considering how everything’s warping, bending, and pulsing. Yup, leave it to his parents to absently poison him at a seemingly basic normal high school dance. Lovely.

Well at least he got to have a good time for a while there. Right now though? He so totally is going to throw up. It’s happening and it can either happen on the dance floor -gross and unpleasant for everyone around- or in the locker room/bathroom -also gross, in fact it’s just slightly more gross but less embarrassing. But it’ll be less gross for everyone else. Which, come on, other people kinda tend to be his priority.

One stroke of luck though, the locker room is blessedly empty. Saving anyone from gross or just downright weird collateral when his costume effectively explodes in a sticky gooey ectoplasmic mess. Splattering all across the room while also sticking to him like some kind of disgusting vaguely sentient tar. Which effectively flings him into the centre of the room, smashing his back onto one of the benches, and makes wet slurpy suction noises when he lands on the ground properly. He absently thinks it was the single most comical stereotypical sounding ‘splat’ noise he’s ever heard, as he groans slightly.

Unsticking his arm from the ground with wet thwap suction noises to shot his hand over his mouth as he gags. Ah yup, there’s the whole vomit thing he was talking about. Shit body, time to get up. Preferably, like, now. It takes an honestly ungodly amount of effort to peel himself off the floor, the black ectoplasm still sticking and stretching with him as he stagger walks to the bathroom and effectively throws himself at the toilet; smashing his head on the ceramic tank in the process. Because, apparently, vomiting wasn’t enough for him. No. He also needed to have a mild headache. Fun.

It takes about three seconds before he feels like he’s hurling up his entire insides -which is a plausible theory- along with inner layers of flesh -also quite possible- and it glows ridiculously; that last one he can probably blame at least partly on the whole glow stick juice shooters idea of his.

Blinking down into the toilet bowl and wheezing, single most interesting mixture of glowing colours he’s seen in a long-ass time. And oh, yup more vomiting. Ah fuck, Jesus. He shoulda stayed home. He straight up really does feel like his insides are just mildly being torn apart or maybe liquified. Which, considering his costume and it’s black splatter remains, might be legitimately accurate. Which is, like, super not good for his half ecto ass. The fuck’s he supposed to do about it though? He’s stuck with his head in a toilet, ironically splattering the inside of that bowl about as much as the rest of the place was already messy with ecto.

He should at least attempt to do something about this. His phone is fuck knows where in the black mess behind him. Ancients knows if it even still will work properly after getting effectively soaked in supremely sticky ectoplasm and probably thrown violently into something. Eh, nobody said his ass wasn’t creative; hacking up his innards or not. Electing to use some of the ectoplasm -he’s not going to question how the heck he’s able to consciously move the black ecto. Beyond that he probably absorbed it some, in some weird attempt to make up for the glow stick contaminated crap he’s been hacking up- to smear a little ‘get help’ and ‘preferably from my dumbass parents’ on the mirrors, since speaking is kinda out of the option here. Not that anyone will walk in here and not call for help; this was kinda noticeable after all.

By the time someone does wander in he’s groaning into the stupid toilet -that he just mildly hates and feels way too friendly with at the moment- and feeling like his skin is going to bubble right off his muscles, his bones feel a little loose and wet too. Which, like, all that is a super supremely not good sign. Fuck, sometimes he wished his parents were just stupid rather than stupid smart. They wouldn’t be mildly good at actually hurting his ecto-ass otherwise.

“Oh holy crap, what the fuck”. Whoever’s footsteps get closer and make squelching noises, “oh god ew, why is it so sticky? Ah ew”. Danny retches again just to make a point that would dude bro to hurry the fuck up. “Fuck. Fenton? Of course it’s you, and- oh well that’s actually worrying. Ah, I’m just gonna go call your folks. Jesus fuck. You are one poor son of a bitch, you know that?”. Danny obviously doesn’t reply to that beyond sticking up a kinda floppy saggy arm and flipping the guy off weakly. “Wow fuck, that’s- uh. Are you like dissolving or something. Why the fuck do I still live in this tow- oh yeah hi! I don’t know what’s up but Fen-Danny dude is going all exorcist in the school locker rooms. Also kinda looks like he exploded black tar everywhere and bones seem questionable at best and pretty sure the toilet is, like, glowing or some shit so maybe come and like get him? So someone doesn’t have to, like, tie a liquid Danny up in garbage bags”. Ancients, people are way too used to weird shit in this fucking town.

Danny can almost hear his parents freaking the Hell out over the dudes phone, he would be actually able to hear it if it didn’t sound like he was underwater and actively sinking down deeper. This, decidedly, sucks. But he’s kinda good at the whole dissociating away the pain and other awfulness at this point. He feels it but like he’s watching himself feel it rather than directly feeling it. It’s a lot and kinda everything, but he’s not really there for it.

He feels the guy try to pat his back or some shit, whatever it is it definitely doesn’t happen right and he can feel himself latching onto the dude and sucking out whatever bits of ectoplasm the dude’s carting around in his system -every Amity Parker was ecto-contaminates after all- and Danny’s body kinda just devours it for some more energy. “Oh god, congrats I’m officially disgusted. I mean, I already was but give me back my freaking arm. Cannibalism is so not your style. Jesus”.

Both of them hear someone else opening the door. “I really wouldn’t, there’s some honestly nasty shit going on and this tar stuff is like fucking flypaper or some shit”.

“Holy fuck! Okay this is kinda cool and super Halloween-esque. But yeah- oh fuck! Hell no!”. Danny can tell the black ecto -which, fuck, absolutely part of him now. Cool. He needed the energy anyway- has sorta bubbled and popped onto the new guy and grabs at him. Promptly absorbing more ecto from that dude and apparently his ecto has just decided that this is the course of emergency action. Decontaminate people via lowkey ecto-cannibalising them. Yeah this is his luck alright. Not that this is actually really making him any better, since he just keeps throwing whatever up. But hey, it’s keeping him from getting worse. That’s something. What he honestly doesn’t appreciate really is new guy running out of the bathroom and taking a stretchy string of black with him. Right back to the whole poison fog situation. So he makes a damn point to smack more ecto on the mirror, ‘fog machine off’.

“Ah, you literally have not let go of my arm. But ah fuck, I’ll just text a friend. Fuck man”.

-

The dance outside goes into mild panic chaos mode as soon as a guy book’s it out of the locker rooms like he’s attempting to flee from the black thing grabbing him, which promptly just explodes and splatters everywhere. Coating, bubbling, crawling, and splattering all over the floor, walls, and multiple people. From there it practically spreads around like a freaking plague sticking from person to person.

Someone does manage to get to one of the teachers though, “the, fog machine, it’s causing this, shit”. The teacher sighs, “of course something the Fenton's made is causing this”, and runs off.

The chaos only gets worse when the Fenton’s themselves barge in, everyone pointing at the black stuff -which they can’t even be sure is ectoplasm at this point- or at the locker room doors. Which is enough to jerk the two hunters out of their shock and get them back to bolting to the locker rooms, which had been their goal to begin with. Meanwhile, the teachers attempt to free people from the sticky mess, fend the black stuff off, or control the chaos. Everyone wondering why the heck school dancers can literally never ever go off without a hitch.

-

Danny makes a point to smear up the mirror messages at just vaguely scenting his folks, while the dude mutters, “oh thank fuck”. Danny can practically feel the guy flailing around the arm that isn’t apparently stuck in him, which like mind trip right? Not that this entire event wasn’t already a bullshit trip and a half.

Seconds later feeling a very solid hand on his shoulder as he retches a little more and feels dude guy get yanked away from him. Well obvious as shit what happened there. His folks suits were ecto-phobic and ecto-proof after all. “Danny? Sweetie?”. Ah so that was his mom. Nice to know. He’d like to leave this entire situation now. Thank you very much.

He can hear her scowl and sounding slightly less directly talking to him, “damnit. Looks like the ecto-repulsitory solution is affecting him. I knew we should have tested it at home”.

“There was hardly time Mads! Nothing for it now I guess!”. His dad freaking laughs. Cool. Glad they’re having fun. They could totally help him out here any minute now. Like, any minute now.

Those glow sticks were a bloody terrible idea, the toilet smells fucking rank and he’s blaming it on that; he needs some kind of scapegoat after all, and it sure as shit wasn’t gonna be his ecto.

Who he’s assuming is his mom pulls him back and he sorta collapses backwards -into what he’s just gonna assume is a blanket- rather bonelessly. Like, literally boneless. As in, fuck he’s so totally a vaguely person-shaped sorta semi-solid liquid right now. Lovely. He should probably pull himself together before he scares the piss, shit and vinegar out of his folks. And hey, he’s not smelling or tasting the lime anymore so he might actually be successful at that. Though he makes some not particularly impressed or happy gag/grumbling noises at feeling his folks physically trying to tear off stuff from him. Probably the black ecto, which was kinda understandable at the moment. But fuck, that’s kinda all that’s feeding him ecto-energy at the moment so kindly fuck off yeah? He does manage to slur out, “mom”, in an annoyed tone before gaging and coving his mouth with a very limp hand again.

“Jack, bucket now”. Which yeah cool, he’s down for not throwing up all over himself. So fine, he appreciates the bucket as he hacks and gags some more. But at the very least the whole vomit ecto thing feels less thick and sticky, more vaguely like light water. Which may or may not be a good thing. But that’s pretty typical for, like, half the shit that happens to him these days. He gives his folks a little thumbs up when he’s done though. Partly to be an ass, partly to be reassuring. Those two things don’t seem like they can coexist, but by the Ancients do they ever. His mom takes the bucket away.

Blinking his eyes open a bit blearily, noting being wrapped in a towel -an anti-ecto one specifically- like a little Danny burrito. Not that he was exactly edible. Zone, he very explicitly wasn’t edible. Considering how ectoplasm was pretty gosh darn toxic. Glancing around at the black sticky splattered everywhere, well damn he sure made one Hell of a mess. The poor fucking janitor. It looks like his folks successfully ripped it all off him and are using the blanket to keep it all off. Explains why he feels tired and energetically spent then. Wasn’t being fed/absorbing ectoplasmic energy any more. Eh oh well, not that he can really complain about that to his folks. Instead choosing to groan a little, “what have I told you guys, about not testing shit against, me and my shit, before using it, like this”. And really? They have had this conversation dozens of times. Sure they still -how they haven’t come across the idea of halfas yet is absolutely befuddling- thought he was just weirdly ecto-contaminated. But they knew shit affected him and yet....

“Sorry Sweetie”.

His dad laughs a little, “we were in a bit of a rush. Wanted to protect the dance from ghosts you know!”.

Danny snorts, oh yeah, they so totally protected it from ghosts... by literally poisoning one. “Funny thing. Don’t think no ghost, has ever crashed, one of the dances. Usually you guys”. Ah Hell, he didn’t mean for that to sound kinda cutting; based on their slight grimaces it was at least somewhat hurtful. Which of course means now he’s gotta fix that. Fuck him. “Didn’t mean it, that way. Aw Hell whatever. Let’s just go home, yeah?”.

His dad scoops him up without any hesitation, “you sure Danny-boy?”.

Danny rolls his eyes tiredly, slumping bonelessly, “I doubt I’ll be, doing much more dancing”. Hell, was anyone? Judging by how they all kinda scuttle embarrassingly out of the locker room to a gym filled with only sticky black and people still yanking their limbs and shoes out of the tar-like ectoplasm. Why the heck the laser light show is still going on he doesn’t have the slightest clue. But hey, it looks pretty fucking cool, he’ll give it that. He kinda wanted to squirm out of his fabric confines and reach down to scoop some up, it was kinda part of him after all, but Ancients knows what in all is in that stuff at this point. Bits of other people’s contamination, fog poison, glow stick juice, generalised floor hunk, food and juice obviously, maybe even bits of people’s food. Yeah, he’s gonna give that one a hard pass. Plus his folks would freak at him. They didn’t exactly want him more ‘contaminated’, after all. Still he gives an impressed whistle. One of the teachers scowling at him, “you just had to one-up yourself huh?”. Which Danny gives a cheeky lopsided and slightly melty smile at.

Danny speaks back up as his folks settle him down in the GAV, “so, what’s that stuff supposed to do? What did it even do?”. He has a few ideas but better to let them explain themselves to him. Their intentions did matter at least a little.

His dad perks up, “oh! It was supposed to disorient and discombobulate any ghosts! And make them unable to use abilities by making their ectoplasmic cells disjointed!”, then looking rather guilty, “I guess with you it made your more unusual ecto suffer some kind of disconnect with the rest of you. Like it made your body think it was rotten. Like food poisoning! And made your ecto ‘think’ your body was foreign so it tried dissolving it!”, tapping his chin, “not the slightest idea what was up with the black stuff clinging to you though”, and looks to his mom who shrugs.

Danny will admit that shit was confusing as Hell, so fine that would make a suitable deterrent. Not so suitable when the thing it’s trying to deter can’t fucking move away from it effectively though. So major design flaw there. Ah well, with his less than pleasant -for everyone involved- reaction, they’ll probably scrap this particular experiment. Which is totally fine by him. He may as well satiate their curiosity a little, to avoid any repeat incidences at the least, “ah well, I may have went and made my costume out of some of that black purified experimental ectoplasm”.

His mom blinks at him, “you did what???”, shaking her head in clear disbelief, though really they should expect this kind of stunt from him at this point, “sweetie, did you at least have something protecting your skin?”.

Danny grins a little, “I used that spray stuff”, which wasn’t even a lie. Walking around a dance with literal purified ecto on him without spraying on some kind of barrier to keep it from hurting anyone would have been grade A stupid, even for him. And honestly? That probably saved his ass slightly, was probably why that ecto had been able to absorb other ecto at all instead of just being a liquid sticky mess.

His mom taps her chin, “huh, the caustic interaction between the settled spray and fog formula must have caused the ectoplasm to coagulate and seek out energy sources”. Danny decidedly doesn’t say shit, let them think what they want. While she continues, “and you were its closest potential source but were obviously having a reaction yourself, so it just clung to you instead”. It would probably be mean of him to point at that it was kinda part of him at that point and that he could absolutely feel through it. Or that it wasn’t feeding itself but rather him. So that he, y’ know, would, like, pass out from energy loss or some shit. Passing out in a toilet, ugh that so would have been not fun. Thank you weirdly sticky black ecto stuff.

Anyway, he yawns, because now he’s tired and would like to genuinely replenish all the ecto he hacked up. At least he was a bit more solid now though. That was a positive something.

His mom smiles at him sweetly a bit as they get home, “I guess we best let you rest rather than spewing theories at you”, and nods at his dad, who swiftly and surprisingly smoothly scoops him up. Danny’s cool with this particular course of action, not making a fuss about his dad carrying him up to his room or his mom kissing him on the forehead afterwards.

Eyeing his phone, naw, he’ll let his friends find out on their own and be confused for a bit. That’s what they get for sorta ditching him.

-

Nightshade: do I want to know how you ‘unleashed a black slime monster’ at the dance?

PDAxpda: ???

PDAxpda: ‘monster’ not ‘ghost’

PDAxpda: found photo the heckers

Nightshade: someone also mentioned you got drunk on glow sticks and vomited literal rainbows

Nightshade: nice asettic but yoyr a dumbass

PDAxpda: 💯 that shits toxic

PDAxpda: not that that matters to a certain someone

Dpain: 😉

Dpain: and I guess I kinda qualify as a monster

PDAxpda: I hate the implications there

Nightshade: that black shit was you wasn’t it you ass

Dpain: only vaguly

Dpain: nebulously

Dpain: margunally

Nightshade: I hate you

Dpain: 😏

End.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Vlad Masters/Vlad Plasmius

 (WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Danny Phantom is the one truly great thing Butch Hartman can still slap his name on. A fantastic show, it evokes the fun of oldschool comics while still keeping that Hartman charm. But as a superhero show, it’s only as good as its villains, and thankfully it has one of the most impressive rogues galleries this side of the PPG. But every great rogues gallery needs a great archenemy, and of course Danny Phantom is able to provide that.

Vlad Masters, AKA Vlad Plasmius, is one of the coolest antagonists in a series chock full of cool antagonists. He has the style, he has the flair, he’s a politician, he has the hots for Danny’s mom and is a Green Bay Packers fan! What a fiend! Vlad is a great foil for Danny in a lot of ways due to being essentially a more experienced version of Danny himself due to having years of practice with his powers, which allows the show to showcase Danny’s growth as a hero as the threat of Vlad diminishes with time going on.

Shame about all those dropped plotlines, though.

Motivation/Goals: As established in his very first appearance, Vlad is a man who, despite his immense wealth, desires things he can’t possibly have. Humorously, one of these things is the Green Day Packers, but less humorously one of those things is Danny as a protege or even as a son. He frequently tries to get Danny to join him or to find some way to weasel his way into Danny’s life in ways that bring us into his third and most definitive motivation.

You see, Vlad “loves” Maddie Fenton. This is in quotations because the show makes it abundantly clear he loves the idea of having her more than anything else and that his attraction is entirely surface-level bitterness at Jack having something he doesn’t. So Vlad is a man who goes out of his way to try and woo a woman who has a rather clear lack of interest in him due to being married, yet still he continues to pursue her romantically despite the sheer impossibility. There’s a word for men like Vlad… you know what it is… Vlad Master is a

This alone truly solidifies him as one of the most evil men in fiction, and he honestly might be the biggest simp of all. Move over, Mordecai! The simp king is here to claim his crown! And if you doubt that Vlad is less of a simp than Mordecai… he’s a middle aged man who has been lusting after the same girl since college and has amassed a massive fortune and gained tons of power (through illegitimate means, according to the creators) solely so he can try and cuck his former best friend. Mordecai temporarily killing Rigby over a girl doesn’t even come close to the levels of simping on display. He literally named his cat after Maddie! Vlad is next level.

Performance: Martin Mull portrays Vlad and gives him the perfect classy yet slimy voice, but can you expect much less from the man deemed worthy to take up the mantle of Colonel Mustard in Clue? For the most part, Vlad remains a very effective villain who raises the stakes when he appears, and a lot of his intimidation factor comes from how well Mull is able to sell Vlad even when he’s doing really dumb stuff or is the butt of jokes. He definitely helps cement Vlad as the Norman Osborn of the 2000s.

Final Fate: After all of his scheming, all of his tricks, his becoming mayor of Amity Park, his hounding of Danny, Vlad ultimately decides to reveal his full hand when a deadly meteor is about to strike the Earth and wipe out all life. He ropes Jack into helping him, and of course Jack is crushed to learn the man he considered his best friend has not only hated him for years, but has constantly been trying to steal his wife and family from him. So when Vlad fails to stop the meteor and realizes there is no way he can return to Earth and face the people there now, he turns to Jack and pathetically asks if Jack would help a friend. And of course Jack says he would help a friend… but Vlad? No.

And so he abandons Vlad in the lonely vacuum of space, where he is doomed to wander as a pariah. The exchange between Jack and Vlad here is one of the sole bright spots in the otherwise depressingly awful series finale, “Phantom Planet,” so hell yeah am I gonna go into tons of detail about it. It’s probably one of Jack’s finest moments, as he finally stands up to the Simp King who has been stalking his family for years now.

Also Vlad gets crushed by a meteor at the very end of the episode.

Best Episodes: I think with Vlad it really depends on what you’re looking for. His introductory episode, “Bitter Reunions,” is a wonderful first impression that really set the tone for him for at least the first two seasons. “Masters of All Time” shows an alternate, powerless Vlad who still manages to be every bit as horrible as the main Vlad. And “The Ultimate Enemy” showcases him at his most sympathetic, with his brief appearance being a fantastic addition to an already stellar special.

Best Quote: Vlad drops this line in “Reign Storm,” and while nothing ever came from that particular plotline, this line has always stuck with me: “What? That I used two fourteen year old pawns to turn a knight and topple a king? It's chess, Daniel. Of course you don't understand. But then, you never really did.”

Final Thoughts & Score: Vlad is certainly a cool villain and a great foe, but unfortunately the show drops the ball with him a bit, though I think at least some of that is intentional. In the early seasons, he is much more dangerous and competent, having had decades to master his powers while Danny is still relatively new. But as time goes on, and Danny becomes more and more powerful and more accustomed to his abilities, Vlad’s threat level diminishes significantly, and while he is certainly no slouch, he loses a lot of his luster and his schemes become more petty and pathetic.

I think a lot of this can be attributed to his arrogance and pride, as well as his selfish desires. Vlad’s motivation is constantly to have things he simply cannot have and childishly act out of spite when he can’t get what he wants. More than anything he wants Danny as his son and Maddie as his wife, but it’s pretty apparent he doesn’t care about Maddie beyond the surface level and even with Danny it seems he more wants to spite Jack due to perceived slights than anything. He’s just a bitter, miserable, lonely man who is incapable of self-reflection; in fact, the only timeline in which Vlad realizes the error of his ways is one in which Danny’s whole family and Danny himself die, with his own powers being stripped away from him. His own ego and pride hinder any growth, and in the end it is ultimately what does him in, since he is left abandoned alone in space by the man he repeatedly tried to stab in the back, unable to return home to Earth because he foolishly revealed his powers, thinking he had everything under control.

While I do think his threat level diminishes a bit and the show doesn’t handle him quite as well as they could, I do think he’s a very effective thematic villain and an excellent archenemy to Danny. I do wish they had utilized some dropped plotlines such as whatever he was going to do with Fright Knight and of course the stuff with Dani, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hold him back from a perfect score, but I’d still say Vlad deserves a 9/10. A lot of it is because of his cool design and voice acting, and a lot of it is because he’s honestly a pretty savage deconstruction of the type of shallow, obsessive character type he embodies…

...but let’s be honest, he scores this high because he is the ultimate simp in all of fiction. Truly there is nothing more evil than that.