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dixons-sunshine · 5 months

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The Archer's Girl | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: When the world ended, you and Daryl narrowly escaped the clutches of the dead and found yourselves in a quarry camp with Merle and some other people. Unwanted, someone in the camp takes a weird liking and disliking to you, and it made you extremely uncomfortable. Luckily, Daryl was there to stand up for you.

Genre: Fluff, some angst.

Era: Outbreak day; The Quarry.

Part of the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU but can be read as a standalone.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of morning sickness.

Word count: 4.4k.

A/n: Damn, I love when two requests correspond with each other and I can get them both into one fic. It's my favourite thing in the whole world. However, I feel like Daryl is kinda ooc in this, but I tried to imagine how he'd be with a woman he just met at the quarry and started forming a relationship with vs how he'd be with someone he's been with since he was a teenager, and in my mind, he'd totally be softer regarding someone he already knows and loves vs one he's just getting to know. So soft!Daryl in this, it is! Also, Carol is being a supportive queen in this because @celtic-crossbow's Blood Ties series has made me appreciate Carol more and made me realize that she would always be so supportive of someone who's pregnant. Anyways, I hope you like this!

(specially dedicated to @mydearestdaryl because we planned this fic in my comment section a while ago and I'm only getting to it now.)

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

“Daryl!” you called out, trying to push past the stampede of people trying to hurriedly evacuate the store you were in. You were abruptly shoved into one of the shelves, a sharp pain shooting up your side. A loud curse escaped your lips as you clutched your side.

Barely one minute ago, you had strayed from Daryl's side to go grab some milk. You had told him that you would be right back, but with all the chaos that suddenly unfolded in front of you, you highly regretted leaving him at all. With everything going to hell, you could be separated from the man you loved. That thought terrified you.

However, as you turned around, nothing terrified you more than the sight that beheld you.

On the floor, a woman was screaming in pure, unadulterated agony. On top of her was a man who's body appeared to be decaying, and he ripped a huge chunk of her flesh from her chest. His grimy hands were clawing at her stomach, and with little to no effort, he tore her stomach open. The sight was truly mortifying, and it would never be erased from your mind.

A hand grabbed your wrist from behind. You flinched and tried to rip your hand from the person's grip, but the familiar voice of your husband calmed you down. However, when you looked at him, you were surprised to note the splatter of dark blood all over his clothes and face.

“S'me! S'jus' me!” he hurriedly explained. He cast one glance to the horrific sight before you before dragging you along with him, the two of you moving quickly. He stopped momentarily in front of one of the shelves to grab two knives, carefully pushing one of them into your hold. “Ya see one'a these dead motherfuckers, ya stab 'em in the head, alrigh'? S'the only way they drop dead.”

“What? I don't—”

“Dun' think 'bout it, peach!” he cut you off, pulling you with him out of the store again. “They ain't alive. The news weren't lyin' to us 'bout the dead risin'. We got a real fucking problem on our hands now.”

Choosing to trust his judgement, you nodded and hurried next to him. The two of you ran down the sidewalk, heading in the direction of your apartment. As you continued onward, you highly regretted deciding to walk to the store instead of taking Daryl's truck. It would've been a whole lot easier to escape the mess surrounding you if you had a vehicle.

Just as the two of you arrived at your apartment building, about a dozen of the undead people were stumbling out of the door. Daryl quickly pulled you with him to the parking area instead, making a beeline for his truck. However, more of those things flooded the area and a couple of them were heading straight towards you, and it was clear that the two of you weren't escaping without a fight.

“Ya got yer knife?” Daryl questioned, shooting a glance at you over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” you told him, gripping the knife so tightly, your knuckles started turning white.

“Good,” he replied, stepping forward to plunge his knife into the skull of one of the monsters. He withdrew the knife, holding it ready to use at a moment's notice. “Ya gotta stab 'em in the head as hard as ya can, alrigh'? Dun' think 'bout 'em bein' alive. These assholes ain't alive.”

“Don't worry about me trying to talk them out of eating me or something,” you scoffed, replicating the way he was holding his knife with your own. “I'm not that stupid. All these fuckers are getting from me is a fatal blow to the head. They're not touching me.”

“Atta girl,” he praised with a small smile. However, his attention soon got diverted back towards the flood of the undead stumbling around the parking area.

As the two of you continued onwards, Daryl repeatedly stabbed the heads of the monsters. By some miracle, the two of you made it to his truck without you having to do anything. However, just as Daryl was getting into the driver's seat and you were opening the door to the passenger seat, a slimy, blood covered hand gripped your arm tightly in its clutches.

You let out a small cry of terror, instantly alerting Daryl to your horrifying predicament. However, as you struggled against the literal death grip of the monster, its teeth trying desperately to take a chunk of your flesh, you realized that you couldn't wait for Daryl to come to your rescue. By the time he managed to make it towards the other side of the truck, you would already be doomed. You had to take matters into your own hands.

Shakily, you drew your hand that held the knife back and plunged it deep into the thing's skull with a sickening force. The monster miraculously fell limp with the first blow, its hand falling from your arm. However, before you could fully process that you had just killed something that was once human, Daryl took your face in his hands and checked you over, his eyes filled with fear. You had never seen him with as much terror in his eyes ever before.

“Are ya okay?” he asked in a hurried manner, his voice shaky. “Please tell me the prick didn't get ya. No bites, scratches, nothin'.”

“I'm okay,” you assured him, watching him calm down somewhat. “But we have to leave. Right now.”

“Yeah, let's g—”

The deafening sound of a gunshot echoed through the area, followed closely by the rumble of a motorcycle. When the motorcycle came into view, you were both simultaneously relieved and disappointed to see none other than Merle Dixon. He stopped his motorcycle once he saw you, an exasperated look on his face.

“Y'all jus' gon' stand there and get eaten or get in the fuckin' truck? I did not risk my life gettin' here jus' to watch y'all get eaten alive.”

Daryl opened the door to the passenger side and quickly ushered you in, shouting over his shoulder at Merle. “Wha' the fuck are ya even doin' here?!”

“Helpin' yer sorry ass!” Merle exclaimed, shooting at another oncoming monster. “C'mon, let's go!”

Daryl didn't need to be told twice. He rushed to the driver's side and hurriedly got in, starting up his truck and speeding out of the parking area, following behind Merle's motorcycle. With all the chaos that unfolded, the two of you hadn't even managed to go grab some clothes from your apartment. However, by some stroke of luck, as you glanced towards the back of the truck, you noted that two duffel bags were resting there, as well as a bag with everything needed to construct a tent and Daryl's crossbow. You thanked your lucky stars that the two of you had gone camping for his hunting trip two days prior, and forgot to remove everything from his truck. The clothes were dirty, sure, but once you found a body of water, you'd be able to wash them. And Daryl's crossbow would more than likely come in handy.

“Are ya okay?” Daryl asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. He was nervously chewing on his thumbnail, his eyes darting between you and the road.

You nodded at him, trying to calm your racing thoughts. In a matter of thirty minutes, your life had flipped upside down. You had killed someone, whether they were dead or not. The blood from the kill coated your skin and made you feel sick at your actions, but you tried to remind yourself that the thing you killed wasn't human anymore. If you didn't kill it, it would've killed you. It would've killed—

Gasping, you sat upright and clutched at your stomach. Daryl looked at you worriedly, his eyes trailing to your stomach. His eyes widened in terror, his grip on the steering wheel tightening even more, if possible.

“Wha's wrong?” he questioned. “Oh, god. S'somethin' wrong with Peanut? Did those pricks—”

“No! No, nothing's wrong,” you reassured him, your hand resting on your stomach. “It's just... With everything going on, I forgot about the baby. I forgot about my own child, Daryl. What kind of future mother does that make me?”

Daryl moved one of his hands to rest on your thigh, his thumb rubbing reassuring circles on the fabric of your jeans. He sent you a small smile, hoping to bring you some comfort.

“S'okay,” he told you. “Yer not gon' be a bad mom. With everythin' goin' on, yer body went into fight or flight mode. S'cause of it tha' ya managed to keep the baby in yer belly safe. And once they're here, I know yer gon' do yer absolute best to protect 'em.”

“I hope so,” you mumbled, resting your hand that wasn't on your stomach over his hand. “I really hope so.”

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

One month had passed. One month since the dead started walking. One month since everything you knew got destroyed. One month since you had stumbled upon a quarry camp filled with other survivors with your husband and brother-in-law. One month since your life turned upside down.

You sighed as you washed one of Daryl's jeans, subtly listening to the other women's conversation, the other women sitting quite a distance from you. Most of the women in the small camp you were in tended to keep their distance from you, deeming you damaged goods because of the people you were with. Well, more so because Merle was your brother in law. You and Daryl tended to keep to yourselves, with Daryl only speaking to others when absolutely necessary, but the same couldn't be said for his hotheaded older brother. Merle had made quite the impression, and not a good one. And automatically, by mere association, they had deemed you and Daryl the same. Most of the women simply referred to you as the archer's girl, and you were pretty sure they didn't even know your actual name.

Most of the women didn't even bother acknowledging your existence most of the time. The only exception was a sweet woman named Carol Peletier, who offered you her kindness whenever she talked to you. She offered you tips on how to properly scrub stains from jeans, on how to fix up the holes in your husband's socks, and so much more. She was the only one who you'd felt comfortable enough sharing the secret of your pregnancy with, so even though she promised not to tell anyone, she silently offered you her support, and gave you advice regarding your pregnancy by telling you stories about her own pregnancy with little Sophia. Carol was your only true friend there, and you deeply appreciated her.

Without her, you probably would've snapped at the other women there for the judgemental looks they threw your way, so you cherished the friendship you had formed with her.

The touch of a calloused yet gentle hand drew you from your thoughts. You looked up and locked eyes with your husband, his blue eyes staring down at you with a softness only reserved for you. You sent him a smile and dropped the pair of jeans you were washing on the ground, standing up to face him better.

“Ya know all'a tha' washin' s'now ruined 'cause ya dropped it in mud, righ'?” he told you playfully, sending you a small smile.

You smiled and shrugged. “It's your jeans. I've never heard you complain about a little mud on them before, considering those kills you have to skin that stained these jeans in the first place.”

Daryl chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, yer righ',” he replied, before his smile fell and he adapted a more serious tone. “I have to go huntin'.”

“Again?” you asked incredulously, your mood visibly deflating. “You went on a hunt not even two days ago.”

“Yeah, I know,” Daryl sighed, fidgeting with his hands. “But tha' Shane prick demanded tha' I go on another hunt again fer some reason. I dun' know why, 'cause we have 'nough meat to last us another week or so, but he threatened to throw us out of the camp if I didn't go now. We can't leave. 'Specially not now.”

Your lips formed into a small smile as Daryl's eyes trailed down to your stomach, his eyes softening slightly as he thought about the life that fluttered there, the life that he had helped create. His very own son or daughter. A small being that he would go to great lengths to protect, even if they weren't born yet. His little Peanut.

You stepped forward and pressed a chaste kiss against his cheek, before withdrawing again. You giggled at the blush that spread across his face, and didn't miss the way his lips twitched up into a small smile. He could say whatever he wanted, but he secretly loved your little public displays of affection. It was never something big, like some passionate kiss or a full-blown make out session. It was always something small and sweet, something quick to show your affection without drawing too much attention to the two of you. A subtle graze of your hand against his, quick pecks on the cheek, a gentle squeeze on his shoulder, you name it. You knew how to show him love in public without making him uncomfortable, and he loved you for it.

“How long will you be gone?” you asked, nervously fidgeting with your fingers.

Daryl noticed and subtly took your hands in his, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “Ain't no tellin'. Walsh demanded tha' I find some venison, and tha' might take me a while. Dun' even know if there are any deer here.”

You pursed your lips and nodded. “Stay safe, okay? I love you.”

Daryl nodded. Stepping out of his own comfort zone, he leaned down and pressed a feathery light kiss to your lips. When he pulled back, he gently caressed your cheek. “Always am. And I love ya more, sunshine.”

With that, he turned around and left, leaving you standing alone with the unfinished laundry. Watching his retreating figure, you smiled fondly, completely missing the envious looks the other women were sending your way.

They hadn't heard your conversation, the two of you being too far away to overhear anything, but they did see the way the archer interacted with you. It was so vastly different from the way he talked to anyone, including his own brother, his own flesh and blood. It was clear there was a lot of history between the two of you, good and bad, and it made the two of you a strong couple. From what Merle had let slip in his high state once, the two of you had been together since you were both merely seventeen years old, and by the looks of it, the two of you were still going strong. The two of you radiated love for one another, and that's more than most could say about their own past relationships.

It was clear the two of you shared something special, and it was unfair to them that they couldn't find love like that. And with the world ending, they doubted that they ever would.

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

Three days had passed. Three days where Daryl was nowhere to be found. Three days where you had to deal with Merle's disgusting attitude on your own. Three days where you had to sleep alone in your shared tent, wishing he was there.

It seemed like baby Dixon noticed their father's absence, and they weren't happy about it. For the past three days, you hadn't managed to keep anything down in the depths of your stomach. Any and all food you ate came right back up again a few hours later, and it wasn't exactly pleasant. Thankfully, nobody saw you whenever you rushed to the bushes behind the RV to spew the contents of your stomach out, so nobody knew of your pregnancy yet.

And you had Carol by your side whenever your stomach rebelled against you, so that was a major plus.

“God, I hate this so much,” you groaned in frustration, eliciting a laugh from the woman gently rubbing your back.

“It's what comes with the joys of pregnancy,” she laughed lightly, continuing the circular motion on your back until you felt better. Once you stood upright, she handed you a bottle of water, encouraging you to drink as much as you needed to. “Drink up. You need to stay hydrated.”

Once you had enough to drink, you handed her the bottle again. “Thank you,” you thanked her, giving her a small smile. “How'd you handle it? The morning sickness, I mean.”

“I was lucky enough to only experience a mild case of morning sickness,” Carol explained, wrapping her arm around you and starting to walk with you back to the main campsite. “You know, and I'm not saying this to pressure you at all, but maybe you should tell everyone about your pregnancy. It would be good for Glenn to be on the lookout for prenatal vitamins.”

“I can't,” you denied. “Then everyone will look at me like I'm carrying the plague and see me as just another liability. I can't have that. Daryl and I can handle things on our own until we absolutely have to tell everyone.”

“Okay,” Carol replied, before shifting the conversation away from something that quite obviously stressed you out. “I drank a lot of herbal teas when I was pregnant. That seemed to really work for the nausea.”

“Just great,” you sighed, shaking your head. “Where the fuck are we supposed to find that?”

Carol smiled and gently rubbed your shoulder. “I'll see if Dale has some. I remember him mentioning something about ginger tea.”

“What if he asks why you need it?” you asked hurriedly, worry lacing your tone.

“Don't worry, I won't tell him,” she reassured you. “I'll just tell him I'm feeling nauseous. That something I ate isn't corresponding with my stomach. Trust me, he'll believe it.”

You sent her a smile. “Thanks, Carol. I mean it.”

She smiled at you before disappearing into the RV, on a search for Dale. You stood waiting outside, staring ahead at the treeline. You hoped that by continuously looking at it, your husband would appear from the trees with a deer over his shoulders, dirty but unharmed. Alas, as you had learned over the last few days, that didn't work, and you wished you could go out there and look for him yourself, but you knew he'd be extremely mad if you did.

No, your main priority was your baby at that moment. Your husband had shown time and time again that he could take care of himself, so you chose to believe that he'd be fine. You had to believe that, otherwise you'd spiral into an abyss you didn't want to go down.

The feeling of somebody standing next to you startled you. You stumbled and nearly fell, but the hands of the mystery person caught you. Looking up, you locked eyes with the self-appointed leader of the group, Shane Walsh. His brown eyes were staring down at you, a small grin on his face.

“Sorry, girl. Didn't mean to startle you,” he apologized, slightly rubbing your arms.

Feeling extremely uncomfortable, you shrugged his hands from your arms and took a step back, putting some distance between the two of you. You sent him a tight-lipped smile.

“It's okay,” you replied, hoping that he would end the conversation with that. However, the man had other plans.

“What's your story, lady?” he asked curiosly, leaning back against the metal of the RV, his eyes trailing over you in a way you didn't like.

“My story?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “What's a pretty girl like yourself doing with a lowlife nothing like Daryl Dixon? I mean, you could have anyone you want, but you chose him, the redneck. Why?”

“Because I love him,” you stated matter-of-factly, sending him a harsh glare that only seemed to spur him on even more.

“Bullshit. There's gotta be something to it,” he disagreed, chuckling at the glare on your face. “There's no way that a guy like that managed to pull someone like you. It goes against all the laws of the universe. So tell me, what's he got to offer? Is he paying you? Are you some prostitute he keeps around for his own pleasure or something? You certainly look pretty enough to have a guy pay you for something like that.”

Before you could stutter out an angry reply to Shane's deprecating accusation, a hand gently gripped your shoulder and pulled you aside. Looking up, you saw Daryl, an angry look in his eyes. Without a word, he stepped forward and viciously connected his fist with Shane's nose, hearing the satisfying crack of the bone there.

“Son of a bitch!” Shane exclaimed, bending over to clutch his nose in his hands. “What the fuck, Dixon?!”

Daryl gripped Shane by the collar of his shirt and shoved him against the side of the RV, a threatening glare on his face. Terror filled Shane's eyes, something unusual for the for the man. Everyone started gathering around the fighting pair, and Carol, who had rushed from the RV once she heard the commotion, pulled you back from the battle ground, holding you firmly against her side.

“Listen'a me real fuckin' close, Walsh,” Daryl spat angrily, his voice dangerously low. “I dun' care wha' ya say 'bout me, but if ya ever talk 'bout my pregnant wife like tha' again, I'll do so much worse than jus' break yer nose. Ya dun' talk to her, ya dun' look at her, ya dun' even breathe the same fuckin' air as her. If ya do, I'll skin ya alive and feed the remainin' pieces of ya to the walkers. Do I make myself clear?”

“Fuck you,” Shane groaned out.

“Yer venison's on the table. Next time, go hunt fer it yer fuckin' self.”

Without waiting for a response, Daryl shoved Shane harshly and turned around, meeting your eyes. Instead of finding fear in your eyes from his actions, he found adoration instead. You stepped out of Carol's hold and took Daryl's hand in your own, dragging him to your shared tent. You didn't even spare a glance at the people, so you missed the way all of their eyes widened at the realization that you were pregnant, that they had been unnecessarily rude to a pregnant lady that had done absolutely nothing wrong. They had been harsh to an expecting mother and father, for no reason at all. Everyone felt guilty, but the groan that Shane emitted caught their attention once again.

Back in your shared tent with Daryl, you were stood busy gently cleaning the blood from his split knuckles while the man sat on the cot. Daryl was avoiding your eyes, feeling ashamed of his actions. In all the years that you had been together, you had only seen him lash out like that once—one time when you were drinking together in a bar when you were twenty-four, a guy had grabbed your breast without your consent, and Daryl had completely lost it. After that, he swore he'd never act like that around you ever again, but Shane made him break that promise.

“I'm not mad, you know,” you finally broke the silence, watching the way his ocean coloured eyes flickered over to you, the confusion evident in them. “Shane got what he deserved. Quite honestly, I planned on punching him, too. You just beat me to it.”

“M'sorry,” Daryl mumbled, ducking his gaze to the floor. “I know ya can fight yer own battles. S'jus'... Hearin' the way he talked 'bout ya, like ya were some object who's worth he could judge... I dun' know. It made me pissed. Ya dun' deserve to be treated like tha'. 'Specially not when yer carryin' a baby in yer belly. Speakin' of, m'sorry I revealed yer pregnant. I know ya wanted to keep tha' hidden.”

You smiled and gently lifted his chin with your finger, gazing deeply into his eyes. “It's okay. They would've found out eventually,” you told him, gently cupping his cheek. “Look at you, always so considerate about everyone else except yourself. You're amazing, Daryl Dixon.”

Daryl blushed. “Yer the amazin' one,” he countered, leaning forward to rest his forehead on your stomach. He placed a small kiss to the clothed skin. “Peanut's gon' have one hell of a mama.”

“And one hell of a daddy,” you replied, bringing one of your hands to thread through his hair. “I love you, Daryl.”

“Love ya more, peach,” Daryl murmured, closing his eyes at the comforting feeling. “Love ya too, Peanut.”

The serene moment was soon interrupted. The soft calling from Carol grabbed your attention, and you giggled at the groan Daryl let out.

“Y/n?” she called out. “I've got that ginger tea I promised you.”

“Ginger tea?” Daryl questioned, looking up at you.

“Yeah. I got a bunch of morning sickness without you around for some reason. Seems like Baby Dixon doesn't like when their daddy's not here.”

“Good,” Daryl chuckled, rubbing your stomach affectionately. “Then I guess ya won't mind if I stick 'round.”

“Hm,” you hummed, pretending to think about it before letting out a slight giggle. “I guess I'll keep you around.”

“Tha's real good to hear.”

Before you could respond, you heard the bellowing voice of your brother in law. You groaned in frustration, praying that Carol had gotten out of the line of fire, because your tent was about to become a war ground.

“When the fuck were ya plannin' on tellin' me ya got yer whore pregnant?”

Daryl visibly tensed up at his brother's words, anger flaring up in his eyes, and you knew that another beating was about to commence. “The fuck did ya jus' say, Merle?!”

“Ya heard me, boy.”

God, you hated Merle with a fiery passion, and you doubted that would ever change. But you loved Daryl, and you knew that as long as you had him by your side, you could face anything.

Yeah, your little Peanut was gonna have the best father ever.

©dixons-sunshine 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, adapted or translated to any other site or platform without evidence of my given consent.

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toxicanonymity · 7 months

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3:00 special.

3.5k words, slasher!Joel x f!reader | Slasher Joel SUMMARY: One shot - Joel entertains himself while you sleep, then makes good on his promise to ruin you in the morning. Title from his playlist, # 1. WARNINGS: I8+ dubious consent p in v sex, degradation, toy, vag fisting, dark humor, dark character, slasher typical regard for realism. creator chooses not to warn further detail but happy to answer Qs. hope my editing isn't too bad. A/N: Thank you so much everyone for the comments, mood boards, asks. Y'all make this AU fun to write and interactive. @toxicfics for notifs (how to see notifs all in one place) @toxicrecs for recs. dividers by @gasolinerainbowpuddles.

It's well after midnight. Joel is normally awake and on call at this hour. In fact, he’s on call right now, but he couldn't tell you where his phone is. You’re asleep under his arm, and he’s not tired enough to drift off. He shuts his eyes and thinks about what he wants to do to you.

Cockslut like you has gotta have toys lyin’ around. Prolly can’t go 12 hours without gettin’ your gash stuffed.

He cautiously lifts his arm off your back, slides out of bed, and tiptoes over to the window to get a little more moonlight in there. Then, he goes to your nightstand. You sigh in your sleep.

He opens the drawer and rolls his eyes in disappointment when there’s only one satin bag. Just a vibrator. Then he sees the corner of a dark, suede box sticking out from under your bed. Jackpot. You’re sleeping face down, and your arm is dangling off the bed, fingers nearly grazing the corner of the box. He manages to pull it out from under the bed without disturbing you. There’s another one behind it, too.

He sits on his knees and opens the box. Oh yeah. You’ve got all sorts of dildos, dongs, rabbits, there’s like six cocks in this box. There’s lube, a strap, suction cups. So many possibilities, he can’t think straight. God damn.

He picks up the biggest dick. He wraps his hand around it. Aren’t these things supposed to be bigger than real ones? Especially for a size queen like you. You must be using more than one at a time. He imagines you smashing two of them together and sitting on them, letting out a slutty moan as you sink down.

He’s hard as a rock. Your phone lights up on the nightstand, and he looks at it. It’s 2:33 and there’s a pop-up notification. It has a flame logo with the text, “Darren and 18 others are waiting for your response.” What the fuck is this?

He unplugs the phone and tries to open the notification, but it’s locked. He eyes your hand, still dangling off the bed, and carefully presses the screen against your thumb to unlock it. He has some trouble finding the notification again. He’ll figure it out, but first he’s got to do something about this brick in his boxers.

You’re snoring lightly now, covered by only a light sheet. You’re out cold. Probably out whoring every night this week, and now you’re finally catching up on sleep.

His stomach growls.

He sits up on his knees, facing your bed. You’re still on your stomach, and the knee closest to him is bent. Practically spread eagle, no surprise there. He pinches the sheet and slowly pulls it down until everything above your knees is exposed.

His balls twitch at the sight of your glistening wound. God damn, look at you leaking.

There’s a trail of cum and two dark spots on the sheet under you. Wonder how many loads you’ve got on this bed. Mattress must look worse than his. His cock bounces and rubs it with his wrist. He growls, looking at your snatch.

Yeah he’s gonna ruin you in the morning, or as soon as he’s done figuring out what kind of whoring you’re up to. He didn’t imagine the professional kind. You seemed more like an amateur.

But you’ve got 18 dicks waiting for you in this thing. He looks at your phone.

—

Joel opens the camera app and carefully lines up a shot between your legs. Then he takes a picture. SHIT, it flashes.

You whine in your sleep but don’t wake up. He looks at the picture. It’s a good shot, really good. He turns the flash off.

You probably won’t even wake up if he touches you. So used to having hands and dicks and tongues all around this sloppy cunt. He stands up and makes an upside-down v-shape with his fingers and uses them to spread you even wider. You twitch and a little drop of cum rolls out, making him moan softly. He takes another picture.

He goes out to your living room carrying a bottle of lube and your phone. There’s a massive tent bobbing in his tight boxers. He settles in on the sofa and takes out his cock and balls. His stomach growls again and he lazily rubs his belly. Guess mama was right, he should’ve ate more.

He lubes up his dick, then looks at the picture on your phone. Your app offers to auto-correct the last one, and he can see much better after saying yes.

Good lord.

He has half a mind to fuck you right now, but instead he wraps his hand around his cock.

He strokes himself, imagining those toys stuffing your slutty hole. What a sloppy mess you’d be, all fucked out and stretched from taking as many dicks as you could. He looks at the first picture, with the flash: an HD photo of the aftermath of his cock. You’re really something else. He’s never seen anyone take a dick like you. He switches between the pictures and groans at the sight of you spread wide open by his fingers. His hand makes you look smaller than you are. He could probably park his truck in there.

Fuck.

He strokes himself faster.

Another notification with a flame pops up. You have a new match!

Still jerking himself, he follows the notification and it opens your app.

“Alright, sex kitten,” he mutters under his breath.

A message badge at the bottom of the screen shows you have 21 new. God damn, you love cock. He fucks his fist, hips slightly flexing. “Ohh,” he moans and closes his eyes thinking about you browsing for dick, vag drooling. But none of them can stuff you and stretch you the way he does. He pulls his shirt up and sighs as he cums into his fist and on his belly.

He wipes his hand off on his shirt, leaving the cum smeared there, then wipes it again on his boxers before lying down on the sofa and using your phone with both hands.

It's this easy? He knew you were this easy. Let's see what these other guys are packing.

Joel opens a message from Marcus. Marcus says, “Hey, I saw you like coffee. Wanna grab a cup at the Bean Bar this week?” Joel clicks on the guy’s profile. He’s into traveling and books. No dick pics, not even an outline. What a fuckin’ loser. Joel deletes the match and returns to your list of guys. He sees a thumbnail of a guy with lips parted and his shoulders are bare. He opens that one.

Benny. “Damn look at you,” Benny said. “Wanna get at this?” There’s a picture of him grabbing a bulge in his gym shorts. He’s got a green dot by his name.

Joel thinks to himself, then types to Benny, “Yeah I love cock,” and sends it with a woosh.

He goes to look at Benny’s profile, and he’s a boxer. Most of his pics are shirtless. Lots of pics with slutty sweatpants. He looks like a dumbass, but at least he's smart enough to know what you’re looking for. The question is, does he have it.

Benny replies. “Fuck yeah, got plenty for ya.”

“Hm,” Joel doubts to himself, then types, “Show me.”

Benny replies, “Damn, most chicks don’t want the full monty.”

Joel squints in frustration. Is Benny dense?

“I SAID I LOVE COCK,” Joel replies on your behalf.

“Lmao I like it. I show you mine, you show me yours 😉,” Benny responds.

“No problem,” Joel sends.

Before he does anything else, Joel thinks to text himself those two pics. Mama’s right, he’s smart. He’s got her wits. His stomach growls again.

You wake up in the middle of the night and hear something. As you blink awake, a flickering blue light is coming from down the hall. You put on a long t-shirt and rub your eyes on your way to the living room. You begin to faintly hear the shamwow infomercial as the silhouette of Joel Miller’s hair comes into view. He’s sitting on your sofa watching tv. He bends forward and puts something on your coffee table. Then, as he settles back into the sofa, he does an exaggerated yawn and stretches his arms over the back of the couch. You look at the clock. It’s 3:45 AM.

You pad into the living room and observe him manspreading on the couch.

“Hey sleepyhead,” he yawns as you sit down next to him on the sofa, taking in the scene. He’s in boxers and a navy shirt that’s ridden up exposing a couple of inches of belly. There are darker blotches on the shirt.

“What are you doing out here?” you ask, voice hoarse with sleep. A better question would be, why are you still in my house?

“Couldn’t sleep. Got hungry. Want some casserole?” He sighs with the effort as he bends forward to get the Tupperware and fork for you.

“Where’d that come from?” you ask.

“Mama made it. Spaghetti casserole. Really good, you should try it.” He practically shoves it into your face.

You pick up the fork and take a bite.

“Mmm,” you hum in genuine enjoyment. “Wow, this is good.”

“Yeah,” he agrees with brightened eyes. “Ya know, you could come for dinner sometime. She’d love to have ya.” He mentions it casually, but there’s a glimmer of hope behind his eyes.

You know better than to laugh in his face, but you don’t exactly accept the invitation either. “Really?” you ask.

“Yeah,” Joel nods as you take another bite. “More where that came from.” You contemplate as you chew and he cradles his balls through his boxers. You finish your bite and put the casserole and fork down. He finishes a beer.

“Sure,” you nod, then get up to go back to bed.

“Where ya goin’?” He asks.

“Gotta work in a few hours.”

His face darkens, but he stays where he is.

“This whorefire app’s pretty cool,” Joel calls after you. What is he talking about?

You turn around and he’s standing up. He stretches with his arms wide, and his boxers are low enough to show his pubic hair and whiter skin, giving you a little rush of arousal. Your eyes pan over his body and you don’t even notice the phone in his hand. He tosses it onto the sofa.

He takes slow steps and you stand still. Soon he’s in arm’s reach and lowers his voice. “Get over here, kitten.”

He walks into you, then reaches around to grab your ass. He slides a palm down over your crack until his middle finger meets your slick.

“Mmm,” he growls.”I’ll tuck ya in.”

He smacks your ass with a low,“Ooh!” then walks into your bedroom.

You’re throbbing at the thought of having him again, but you find yourself muttering, “Said I had to sleep,” as you get back in bed. You slip your feet under the sheets.

He doesn’t waste any time before getting on top of you. “Spread’em, sweetheart.” He knees your legs apart and shoves his hand between your legs. He locks eyes with you as he rubs your most sensitive place. “Fuck,” he growls, then sits up on his knees. He holds the thick shape of his cock through his boxers and with his other hand, nudges your entrance, then easily slips a finger inside. When he adds a second, you whimper.

“I’m comin’,” he grumbles to your needy cunt. He pulls his boxers down and clumsily takes them off before settling back between your legs with his heavy cock looming, making you gush. He braces a hand on the bed, to the side of your hips. You’re ready, so ready for it. Your body is making space for him. You feel yourself opening up. But he gives you his fingers again. He slides in one, then two with ease, stacked vertically. It’s not enough, especially without any attention to your front.

“Look at this messy mouth, droolin’ all over, swallowin’ whatever I give it.” He adds a third finger, also stacked vertically. He thrusts them a few times, gazing at you in a trance, then rotates his hand palm up, with three thick fingers spreading you wide. He leans forward so his palm covers your clit, thank god, as he fucks you with three fingers.

He lowers his voice and reveals, “I know ya don’t gotta work. Found your paystub in your car, whoops.” He spreads his fingers and inhales a deep, hungry breath as his fingers continue filling you. “‘S’okay. Just be good for me.”

“I’m always good,” you breathe, hips lifting into his hand.

He chuckles darkly. “Always good. Almost cut my dick off one time,” he reminds you.

“You tried to kill me–ohhh,” He curls his fingers and digs his palm down on your front.

His face darkens, and his fingers pause all the way inside you. “Sweetheart, if I tried, ya wouldn’t be here.”

He shoots you a glare that makes the back of your neck go cold with sweat as his fingers slide out.

He shoves his cock in with a grunt that turns into a sigh as his girth spreads you open. With his eyes still dark, he withdraws half his length, then slams into you hard, “Mmmnngh,” with his jaw clenched. He releases his breath and sighs vocally, fully sheathed in your warmth.

His hips begin to move. “Gonna take this when I say, how I say,” he breathes, then grits his teeth as he slams into you again.

It’s like having a soda can between your legs, and your body welcomes it.

“Fuck you're tight. ‘Specially compared to earlier.”

Joel looks down where your bodies are joined and watches his big dick disappear between your legs. “Take it like a fuckin’ pro.” He buries his length in your dripping hole, you're getting wetter by the minute. “Fuck, you’re wet.” He slams into you hard and you brace your hand on the headboard.

“Fuck,” you whisper and raise your knees, spreading your legs wider.

“Good kitten,” he says.

He rails into you one more time and bottoms out. He reaches over to the other side of the bed near the headboard, and slides his hand under a pillow, retrieving a dong.

He holds it by the base and wobbles it in the air.

His cock slides out of you, arousal dripping everywhere onto the sheet.

He holds the dong up to his hard cock. “Think you’ve graduated.”

He begins to line the toy up with your entrance.

“Supposed to use lube with that,” you protest.

“Sweetheart,” he laughs, then grumbles, “You should see the mess between your legs.” He wets his lips as he stares at your cunt. Arousal rolls down his cock, over his huge sack. “Still drippin’ off me, damn.”

He cups his balls and grunts “Mmm,” before returning to the task.

He lightly taps your pussy a few times, listening to the wet smacking sound. “You’re good,” he chuckles. He wipes off his hand on the head of the dong.

His brows furrow. He uses his thumb and finger to spread you wide, then begins to push the toy into you. “Nothin’ this greedy pussy can’t do.” It doesn’t feel nearly as good as he does.

He thrusts the dong in and out of you a few times then pauses with it mostly withdrawn. He presses the toy against one of your walls, and slides in one finger, then two alongside the toy.

You spread your legs wide so he can get even closer. He lines up his stiff cock flat against the side of the dildo and uses his fingers to help wedge the tip of his cock in. The stretch burns until he pushes a little more and you swallow nearly his whole tip.

He pushes a bit more and you groan.

“You can do it, baby.” He thumbs your clit, helping you open up more. His tan tummy swells with his flexing abs and he begins to push again. He presses his hips forward and his cock slides all the way into you along with the dong.

“God damn,” he breathes. “Wish you could see this—unngggh,” He pulls back, holding the toy steady, watching your pussy cling to him, the thin membrane stretched wide, begging him back. “Fuck, you can take a cock.”

Your insides swell with arousal. It's an incredibly full feeling, but it also makes you throb how he loves to watch you take as much as you can, and he's always got more to give, somehow.

“Shoulda used the strap,” he mumbles.

He thrusts and pushes the toy another time, then says “Fuck it.”

He slides out of you, and your cunt feels cold on the outside and inside.

“Oh, fuck,” Joel murmurs and strokes himself. “Baby you're gapin’.” He wedges three fingers together and slides them face up into you with such ease it makes your face burn. “Well,” he chuckles. “Damn.” He slides them almost all the way out and adds his pinky. Again they slide in you without much resistance after taking two cocks side by side.

“God damn, sweetheart,” Joel marvels. He slides the four wide digits as far in as they’ll go, then starts fucking you with his hand, thumb on your clit. Your body feels hollow with butterflies and all you can do is moan.

He clamps his hand down to grind the heel of his palm on your clit with four fingers all the way inside you and you groan, so close to the edge. Clit pounding.

“Come on, baby. Squeeze me and I'll give ya one more.”

You’d thought about it so many times since that once. The thought of his fist trips you right over the edge, the blood that was swelling your core exploding outward as waves of pleasure consume you.

“Attagirl,” he mutters with your pelvis lifting into his hand. “Fuck, that's hot.” He watches you clench around his hand, more arousal gathering on his fingers .

The tip of his cock is leaking now, but his attention is all on you. As you come down from your high, he says, “relax for me,” which you already are. He spits on his thumb, then slides his fingers out just enough to wedge his thumb in.

Your skin is hot from your climax. He begins to push in. “Fuck,” he mutters as he slides his hand in. “Only see this in porn,” he mumbles, sliding his hand in and out gently. The thought of him jacking off watching someone get fisted makes you twitch. “You’d be a star ya know.” Your skin gets hotter at the comment. His hand flexes inside you, then he slides it back out toward your entrance. His hand comes out, literally dripping.

He eyes your gaping cunt and says, “you should see this.”

He thumbs your clit with his dryer hand as he runs the knuckles of his wet fist through your folds. Then begins to nudge your stretched out hole. You widen your hips even more and he begins to nudge inside, wiggling his fist gently as your greedy cunt consumes it. It gets easier as he pushes deeper. “Oh, God,” he pants, wrist deep inside you. “Fuck, I gotta be back in there.”

He slides his fist out, braces a hand on the bed, and shoves himself into you all at once. It’s not a stretch at all. Your body is barely starting to gather itself back together, loosely hugging his cock.

He asks, “Want more, huh?”

You nod, face burning.

“This fat cock ain't doin’ it?” He fucks you loose and sloppy. “Ever seen a fatter one?” You shake your head no, and it's true. “Fattest cock ya’ever seen can't fill ya up.”

“Not now,” you mutter and grab the toy. You wrap your lips around it, tasting yourself as you wet it with slobber.

“Cause I ruined ya,” Joel nods. “Wrecked this greedy gash. Ohh baby, look at ya suck that cock.”

You take the toy out of your mouth with a pop and reach down to line the head up with his cock.

He pauses. “God DAMN,” he says as you push it in alongside him. He pushes his hips forward, filling you up.

You sigh as you're once again full.

“Fuck, that feels better,” he breathes, moving his hips to pump in and out of you to the same rhythm of your hand. “Ohh, fuck I'm gonna–”

“Hold on,” you tell him.

He’s struggling not to come. Sweating, panting, looking at your stuffed cunt, then your body, your blissed out face, then the ceiling as he fucks you while you fuck yourself, too.

Soon, he bottoms out with a groan and pulses inside.

“I dunno how ya do it,” he marvels. “Tight as hell, then she’s gapin’, beggin’ for more.”

When he slides out of you, you’re grateful he holds you as your body fills the void. He spoons you but stays up on one elbow so he’s hovering, looking at you in the moonlight. He brushes your burning cheek with his thumb and smiles. He nudges your chin to face him and he kisses you good night, again. You fall asleep spooning.

Your engagement is what makes this AU fun to write. I would love to hear your thots, what lore you want, etc. that's what makes Tumblr my platform of choice, too. If you're shy, anons are back on for now.

If you're not caught up on night walks, consider giving it a shot - Night Walks (latest - beach walks).

If you want more of a character, engage. It's fun for all. Don't use AI, which makes writing less fun.

IDK when or what I will post next.

@silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339 @manazo @taeslarityy @str84pedro @lokanda @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl @feministfanboi @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @may-machin @sloanexx @paleidiot @yourmistysecret @bean-is-reading @rainstorms-library @am-3-thyst

#slasher!joel #dark!joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x female reader #cw degradation #cw dubcon #dead dove au #toxicanonymity ☠️#slasher!joel miller #mama slasher

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marlinspirkhall · 1 year

Text

Tag game: URL song

“Spell your url with song titles and then tag as many people as there are letters.”

Prev thread got too long so I'm starting a new one. Thanks for the tag @frogayyyy !

Mountains O' Things (Tracy Chapman)

Angeles (Elliott Smith)

Regulars (Allie X)

Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream (Ed McCurdy)

Independence Day (Elliott Smith)

Neon Sisters (Thomas Dolby)

Sea, Swallow Me (Cocteau Twins)

Pissing In A River (Patti Smith)

Insomniatic (Aly and Aj)

Rosie (Joan Armtrading)

Killer Queen (Queen)

Happy (Mitski)

Anyone But Me (Joy Crookes)

Leave A Tender Moment Alone (Billy Joel)

Lyin' Eyes (Eagles)

No pressure tags: @blue-jello-queen @herenya-writes @convenient-plot-device @jimkirkachu @hurt-spock @renthebarbarian @ellisper @systemadministratorclu @redshiftsinger @joybates @beauty-grace-outer-space @detectivehole @gayspock @ifdragonscouldtalk @transxfiles @soft-and-certain and also, open tag to anyone who wants to do it!

#music tag #tag game #song recs #long post

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hunterbunter3000 · 1 year

Note

in conclusion. Sweetheart is Prices princess, Soaps handler/gossip buddy, Gaz therapist, and Ghost cuddle buddy (people doesnt need to know wbout that tho)

You gyat damn right. 100%

Totally didn't forget that this was in my asks no no nope I'm so sorry

Even tho she's everyone's princess, Price is the KIINNGGGG of princess treatment (🤭) Always complimenting her, praising her, touching her, buying her gifts, touchinggggg hheerrrrr, always helping her out of cars, down the stairs and helicopters. Sweetheart is his princess. He wants to make her his Queen tho

Soap and Sweetheart are definitely best friends first, and romantic feelings last (only Soap feels this tho LMAO) Like omg they do so many things together, but his favorite is tea and gossip time. Like they'd just be having a tea party in Soaps room, drinking hot tea and Sweetheart would tell Soap the deets everytime 💀

Sweetheart: Bitch, did you know that the janitor DIED

Soap: BITCH NO WAY HOW

Sweetheart: He slipped and his mop WENT UP HIS ASS AND SPEARED HIM THROUGH HIS STOMACH

Soap, spitting out his tea: OMMGGGGG YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN LYIN

Sweetheart: BITCH IM NOOOTTTT

And Gaz-- omg Gaz... He's so baby to me when it comes to Sweetheart 🥹 especially asking for help. He would peek in her dorm and knock on her wall. "Gaz? Hey, what's wrong?" She asks. His eyes would be soft and his brows would crease a bit, like a sad nervous puppy. "Uhm," he would start. And Sweetheart knew immediately what he needed. "Can I chat with you? Just for a bit" He would say with a soft voice. JUST-- PLEASE and she would smile and say "Of course, honey." And she would hold him while he talks out what he was feeling and just-- FFFFUCK IT MAKES ME MELT

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE MAKES ME MELT?? GHOST AND SWEETHEART-- BEING CUDDLE BUDDIES like she would sneak to his dorm and do their special knock that they have for cuddle sessions (EHEHEHE) and he would open it and yank her in. She would always snort cause he's so needy for her cuddles. Like he would just hug her close and nuzzle into her neck, smelling her and that just puts him at ease. He waddles, Sweets still I'm his arms, and they fall on his bed. They get comfortable in each other and Simon knocks tf OUT. OUT LIKE A LIGHT (and no one knows cause Sweetheart wakes up early and goes back to her own room HA)

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semisolidmind · 11 months

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I've had this question on my mind for a while, but how would Wukong and Macaque react to a reincarnated peaches that actually defend herself against demons?

Like obviously she's not a match for demons of their power and scale. But against regular demons, she can pretty much hold her own in a fight.

I just find the idea of Wukong and Macaque's reintroduction to peaches being her just beating the shit of out a couple of demons that were causing her trouble to be hilarious. 😂🤣

they'd be into it. even knowing she's strong just by human standards is very attractive to our two warlords.

im partial to the idea of her using a frying pan as a weapon (cause she works at a restaurant and that'd be one of the funny first things she'd see and grab in the event of being attacked there).

like, the first time mac meets her, she tries to hit him with the frying pan during one of the instances where he attacks the group. he stops the strike, blocking the pan with the back of his hand (it dented on contact); he compliments her on her bravery before disarming and kidnapping her anyway.

she could also go to hit wukong during a battle, and although the hit connects, the pan shatters. and she's standing there, angry and prepared to die, but...he's amused by her bravery/stupidity, and instead of knocking her head off, he just laughs. he keeps an eye on her after that.

the fact that reader can hold her own in a fight is just another reason she'd make a great queen.

(and any future sparring is an excuse to get their hands on her or pin her down. if they say otherwise they be lyin 🤣)

#bad end wukong #twice as bad au

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thisisnotthenerd · 9 months

Text

and the other half of round two, the sidequests!

feel free to give reasoning/propaganda as you like!

the intrepid heroes poll

quick episode descriptions:

volcano of violence: all of the lotr parallels in one place. leiland being a cringefail after casting circle of death. markus negotiating with an eagle. the combination of grasping web and reverse gravity. balloon elf. sokhbarr raising the lava mog. the concept of galfast hamhead. efink facing her father and husband and beign conflicted

the great chase: caravan chase, mad max style on the teenager's bed. ti wants to blow up the boy. car-go and bean are remarkably effective. boomer is a boarding party. jizz balloons. lots of toy vehicles. car-go transforms with felix inside.

the horizon beyond the squall: marcid attacking a chimney. you wrote a whole song just to be mean to me. cheese, prince bitch. no kings for this captain. nat 20 medicine check to revive myrtle. destroy undead. beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker. bob's inflict wounds. ending with cheese getting a ship and the buccaneer buddies sailing off.

unfinished business: splitting up to resolve the mystery. buckster's legendary nat 20 persuasion to give advantage on stealth. daisy and the vicar sneaking in. sylvester failing at climbing the tower. lars killing the constable and pretending to be a ghost for lucretia. gangie and the vicar undulating. daisy and sylvester simultaneously arriving. shitting out of a window to "provide a cushion". daisy getting her story with sylvester's help. gangie falling into mrs. molesly's room. sylvester almost dying but getting a nat 20 death save with buckster's help. a wedding and bacchanal.

we're the heroes: one of these things is not like the others. collecting the bag of socks. jammer crying about weights. sam and philtrum. dates at the questing beast. the tournament. dream's cinderella moment. where did those mice get lithium. you don't get wet fire. i disavow you. what do you want me to tell your family. he had enough. blast him to the underworld. you can gps a phone. my girl just glinda'd your ass! that's some american magic, bitch! evan and dream lock up tallulah's wand in an orb.

i fucking love you: no one is surprised. incendiary cloud. OSTENTATIA'S DIVINE INTERVENTION ON A 19. god wants a bag from ostentatia. antiope will not submit. penny texts i'm in. nta 20 counterspell on finger of death. nonna wallace approves. katja trips a snake. i didn't even know you could trip a snake. antiope's incredible action surge turn that ends with showing her ass. sam is power word killed. that's my sister. danielle channels anima. revivify. bringing talura through the doorway in death. ending with graduation and 'take us to the book!'.

waylaid by werewolves: the werewolves are girls. zarb mini with six buttholes. chewing gum mist. fifi. shooting through the flamethrower. losing dracula. drago was the star. fifi becomes a werewolf. reading a letter in the middle of battle. florina under the carriage. enraged frenzy. i've heard of a cat scan. i make the horse fly. something seems very familiar about her. the dog is my wife! izzy holds with disappointment. a monster has been eating my letters to you.

duel on the southern lawn: rumor phase. rue writes the letter and commands wuvvy to burn it. i drank tea and went to bed. letter to wrackingspelt. rue's assistant. hob getting clocked by rue. wuvvy demanding satisfaction. andhera demanding satisfaction. wet wrestling. this is the biggest stretch of a fuckin' lifetime. nat 20 to be a slippy boy. hoisting andhera up by his taut cotton pants. accepting the hand of friendship.

yonder where the fruit do be lyin': quichei. deli's perception roll. raphaniel as a youth pastor. giant radish head. colin is covered in blue. extremely realistic fake orange. rick perry, you dog. silence. queen's losing it. raphaniel gets the orange down. banana boat guy. come on provolone! deli attacks queen pamela rocks. subtle spell shatter in the carriage. brennan kills pamela rocks again. you died for nothing. chasing and murdering the mushroom guy.

in the heart of death: brennan walks jujubee through an optimized turn. 49 damage immediately. troyánn slips. keekee starts falling. scorching ray. the devil works hard, but d20 works harder. buddy bear shoves zaria into the pit. lightning javelin in the titty. fireball. princess does like 70 damage and pushed kerwyn into the abyss. troyánn goes down. princess gets keena. nat 20 counterspell. twyla crits on morgan to end the battle.

case closed: the party converges on oblongata station once more. they're facing down the don and madam loathing, who can turn them against each other. imelda and dan flash the gangsters to wildly differing results. ivana rolls a 59 on hunch and he still comes back. elias punches his boss. dan goes down. the fix eats the key. conrad rolls a 57 [the number of heinz varieties] to bring down madam loathing. elias steals a birthday cake and runs out into the street, gets a date and reconciles his childhood trauma as he goes into witness protection.

evolution & revolution: warning the populace. pitching scam calls. driving the truck. phoebe is jaegering dr. wenabocker in a very gross maxi. the ground collapses. revenants are charmed. viola is very efficient. thorn calls lightning. tula attacks her son for 67 damage. ava attacks the groun for 109 damage and a long rest. jaysohn gets phoebe. lila fireballs. viola crits twice and kills one guy with paladin/fighter shenanigans and then kills the rest by kicking the trigger of a gun and hitting a gas tank. tula heals jaysohn, lukas, and herself a little bit. battle is over in 1.33 rounds.

#dimension 20 #battle episode of all time #escape from the bloodkeep #tiny heist #pirates of leviathan #mice & murder #misfits & magic #the seven #coffin run #a court of fey and flowers #the ravening war #dungeons and drag queens #mentopolis #burrow's end #d20 poll #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 spoilers

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mj-102009 · 10 months

Text

First Time for Everything (Colby Brock x oc)

Summary: After the first visit to the Queen Mary ship, Colby's best friend Avery is there to help with clean up

Warnings: fluff, light angst, ghosts?

Masterlist

----------------------------------------

I could always tell when they had a bad idea they were too afraid to share.

First Corey started acting up, he asked a bit more than usual about my line of work and how I dealt with the spirits. I told him honestly and that was that.

Then Sam.

“Can I use your camera? Like the good one”

I nodded. “Of course. Why?”

He fidgeted. “Video idea.”

That was my breaking point.

Me: What are you idiots planning?

Colbyyyyyyy: What?

Samuel Adams: Nothing

Corey: Huh?

Jake From Statefarm: wdym Avery nothing’s going on we swear lol

Me: Lyin’ to me Jake Webber?

Jake From Statefarm: no

Me: istfg ill text tara rn

Jake From Statefarm: Been real nice boys o7

Colbyyyyyyyy: Bitch don’t do it

Samuel Adams: Jake fucking no

Me: Jake.

Me: Now.

Jake From Statefarm: We got tickets to the queen mary

Colbyyyyyyyy: Bro rlly

Corey: Dawg

Samuel Adams: Avery don’t get mad

I gaped at my phone for a solid minute before typing a response.

Me: Are ya’ll fuckin mental???

Me: That place is fucking dangerous

Me: Like-

Me: At least be protected???

Me: Please

Colbyyyyyyyy: Ofc

Samuel Adams: Yeah

Samuel Adams: How do we go about that?

Me: Sage and crystals

Colbyyyyyyyy: Or we can just wing it

Corey: ^

Jake From Statefarm: I like that idea

Me: NO

Me: IDIOTS

Colbyyyyyyyy: C'mon man what could go wrong?

Me: A LOT OF SHIT

Me: DEMONS

Me: NEGATIVE SPIRITS

Me: POSSESSION

Me: SEX DEMONS

Corey: Sex demons???

Jake From Statefarm: Listen Ave if smth goes wrong you can say i told u so

Me: Idiots

Me: Fine

“Are you super sure?” I asked Colby for the tenth time.

He chuckled. “Yes we’re all sure, just like exploring.”

I groaned. “Nothing like that Colbs, DEMONS MAN,” I paused for effect. “DEMONS.”

“Avery stop worrying we’ll be fine,” Sam chimed in.

I was practically fuming, my phone was held in a vice grip and I had begun to pace the floors. “Just…be safe and call if anything happens, or if you need help.”

“Yes ma’am,” He laughed. “Text you when we land.”

I looked around the empty house after the call, all the boys were away for filming and my friends were busy. Now left alone to my anxieties, I dropped on the couch and sighed.

I woke up to my bedroom door being knocked on softly, a groan rose from my throat and I rolled over onto my side. “Go away,” I mumbled into my pillow.

“Avery?”

Immediately I was awake and sprinting to my door. On the other side stood a wilted Jake, he had his backpack on his shoulder, tearstained hoodie still on, face red after a cry.

“Jake?” I said, not wasting any time to gather him in my arms and bring him in for a hug, not caring why he was in tears in my door frame. “You okay?”

He squeezed my quick and rubbed his face with a shrug. “I’ll be fine, going to Tara’s place– but, uh,” he rubbed the back of his neck and looked at me, “Colby’s the one to be worried about.”

I swore and bolted down the hall, sliding to a quick stop at his door, I knocked. “Colby?”

No answer.

“It’s Avery,” I said softly. “Jake didn’t tell me what happened, I’m sure it was a lot. I get it of course, we don’t have to talk about anything if that’s what you want.”

No answer, just a soft click of the door being unlocked.

“I’m coming in,” I slowly opened the door, and poked my head in. “Cole?”

He was on the edge of his bed, a black tank top and plaid pajama shorts, I sharply inhaled through my nose at the sight of his face. A few tear streaks marked where he’d cried, slowly he looked at me and I felt my heartbreak at the confused look in his eyes.

“You were right,” He said slowly. “About…everything.”

In a few short steps I was beside him and wiping away the signs of sadness with my hands lightly cupping his face. “Oh bubs I’m so sorry.”

He chuckled and closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. “Don’t say that, it was our choice.”

“I should have done more to stop you,” I told him.

The room fell silent for a moment, just me allowing my friend to seek comfort in my warmth. “Do you want to tell me what happened now or do you want to sleep?”

He opened his eyes and pulled back from my palms. “Uh, it was kind of a lot…”

In hushed tones and shaky words he told me the full story of what had happened in B340, I listened and wiped away his tears as they fell. At the end I pulled him to my chest and his hands sought to bunch in my hoodie, we fell back onto the bed and I slid up to the pillows.

Colby pulled me closer and rested his head on my arm to use as a pillow, both arms still around me and his breath brushed my collar.

“Sleep now?”

He nodded and kept his eyes closed as I ran my hand through his hair.

“G’night,” He mumbled.

“Goodnight bubs.”

I vividly remember that night. Colby and I curled up in his room while I whispered reassurances in his ear about what they’d seen, or rather heard.

The next day I’d given Sam a huge hug and he cried for a few minutes. Then the rest of the boys slowly came over, with Kat, Tara, and I watching them and helping with what we could. Later in the week Aaron told them about the recording and I marveled at the light tapping.

It took them a while to take it all in and release this to the public. But shortly after they did, Colby came into my room to talk.

I was sitting at my desk editing through my most recent video, I heard a series of muttering from outside my door before a knock.

“Come in,” I called, spinning in my seat to face the door.

Colby shyly walked in and stood in the middle of the room with an awkward expression. I blinked and stared blankly at him.

“Need something bubs?” I ask, amused. “Or just here to hang?”

He rubbed his neck. “I, uh, I had a question.”

“Shoot,” I told him.

“Where did you start when you went ghost hunting for the first time?”

I blinked and racked my brain for an answer. “Ummmm, I think it was a small cabin a few miles from my old house in Kansas.”

His shoulders sagged and he sighed. “Well shit.”

“What’s going on bubs?” I asked.

“The boys and I were just doing some thinking,” he said cryptically.

I chuckled and crossed my arms. “Last time you lot did some thinking I ended up babysitting a gaggle of grown men for days.”

“We were going to look into ghost hunting,” He admitted quietly.

The room took a brief pause of silence, my eyes widened and my hand ran through my hair slowly. “Really?” I said softly.

He nodded. “Yeah, we did a lot of thinking and realized how exhilarating that felt.”

“It’s amazing,” I agreed. “But that’s a sudden switch…are you sure that you’re ready for it?”

“Ave,” He said, stepping closer. “You don’t need to baby me.”

I huffed out a laugh. “I know that but still,” he met my eyes. “You’re my best friend and I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Colby slowly tugged me up from my seat into a hug. “Thank you.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “For what?”

“For being you.”

That was 3 years ago.

“WHAT’S UP GUYS IT SAM AND COLBY!” Colby exclaimed in his usual fashion.

I rolled my eyes with a bright smile.

Sam cleared his throat and looked seriously at the camera. “Today we are back…at The Queen Mary.”

The two of them visibly shivered, I stepped forward and lightly set my hand on Colby’s back. He looked at me and back to the camera. “Today we are joined by the woman you all know and love…AVERY!”

I laughed and pinched his cheek. “Don’t forget Amanda and Matt.”

Sam shouted out the other two and they gave their introductions. Finally they started to talk about the last time they were here.

“Soooo we’re back,” Sam stated looking at Colby.

He sighed and dropped his head. “I vividly remember swearing to never come here again.”

“Hey last time I didn’t get to experience it,” I reminded them.

“Oh yeah,” Colby said. “Not sure if you guys know this but the last time we came here Avery was very insistent that we don’t go.”

I rolled my eyes again. “Did they listen? Noooo.”

“And now you’re back,” Amanda said.

The tour went well, of course with the occasional scare and jump on Matt’s part.

We sat on the floor of the ballroom, me in between Colby and Amanda.

“I’m opening up a line of communication for the spirits that reside on the Queen Mary,” Amanda called softly. “I call out specifically to the man John to come to me, anyone is welcome but I’m speaking directly to him.”

Sam set out a few rempods and such and Amanda pointed out a few people entering the room.

“You can touch any of these devices or make any noise to show us you’re here,” I added.

“They don’t know what those are.”

I rolled my eyes, I will always respect Sam and Colby’s decisions but this medium is really getting on my nerves. I understand that she can see the dead and such and I don’t doubt this but every word I say is “wrong”.

“My name is Avery, this is Sam, Colby, Matt, and Amanda,” I called around the room. “We have no harmful intentions, we only wish to hear your story.”

The room went quiet for a moment Sam opened his mouth to say something. “I there any-”

Knock.

Colby stiffened and searched for me, I grabbed his hand and smiled reassuringly. He smiled back and didn’t say anything.

Amanda began talking again about what she could see and what she felt. Sam asked a few questions and none of them were answered, Matt stood up and wanted to test something. I frowned sympathetically when I realized what was wrong. When he sat back down I patted his knee and mouthed ‘It’s okay’. Colby was watching me and I settled back next to him.

“What?” I whispered.

“Nothing,” He said quickly, turning to look at anything else.

They walked into the room first and began to just talk amongst themselves about that night. I stood leaning against the wall thinking Amanda came next to me.

“Can I help you?” I said politely.

She blinked rapidly. “No?”

I nodded. The silent filled the room for a moment before she sighed and whirled on me. “I feel like you don’t like me.”

“What? No,” I said, waving my hands. “I’m just not a people person, and I’m not super open with everyone I meet.”

A lie, she pissed me off with every word that fell from her mouth.

She tilted her head at me and frown.

Finally saving me from this conversation, Colby opened the door. “Avery, come in here real quick.”

I sprung up from my spot and walked through the door. Waves upon waves of just anger and agony flooded my senses, I winced and sat on the bed.

Sam spread his arms out to show off the room. “Well?”

“It’s freaky all right,” I nodded.

Colby laughed and pointed the camera at me. “Get why we got so freaked out?”

“For being ghost hunting virgins at the time?” I grinned. “Yes. And this place is…” I looked around and shuddered at the feeling of being watched. “I don’t like it.”

“For those of you that don’t know Avery or are new to the channel, she’s a really strong empath that we bring along to get the feel for the area,” Colby told the camera.

I raised an eyebrow. “And because I've been your best friend since middle school?”

Sam waved his hand in a dismissive manner. “Blah Blah Blah.”

“Asshole.”

We brought the rest of the gang in and I screwed my eyes shut as I felt the entity rear its face again. It seemed like Amanda did too because she had the same look that I did.

Sam clapped his hands together and grinned. “Ready?”

“30 MINUTES OF FOOTAGE.”

Sam was peeved to say the least, pacing around the room and ears practically smoking.

I shrugged and fell back onto the bed. “Happens sometimes.”

He groaned and grabbed the camera from Colby who was equally as upset but showed it in better ways. I sat up and patted him on the back as he sat beside me.

“Why don’t we try again?” I suggested, Sam gave me a look. “I’m serious, change SD cards and we’ll do an estes session.”

Amanda nodded. “I can listen as well and write down what I hear.”

“Or you can let Sam and Colby make a few of the calls for their channel,” I snapped.

Her eyes jumped to me, surprised and frantically blinked at my words. Colby gave me a concerned look and squeezed my hand as if to tell me to calm down.

Matt shifted nervously. “If we’re doing this again I might just go stand with the guide.”

The fire dancing in my eyes dulled as I remembered what the boys had gone through. “I can take you.”

“I’ll go too,” Colby said. I shot him a curious look. “So you don’t have to walk back alone.”

We set off down the hall making jokes and giggling like teenagers until we made it to the guide. Colby and I left Matt and walked back chatting quietly.

“Avery,” He said, interrupting a comfortable silence.

“Hm?”

Colby stopped walking and gently held my forearm, I raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. “You good bubs?”

He sighed and dropped his head onto my shoulder. “I didn’t wanna say it on camera but I have the worst headache ever.”

I ran my fingers through his hair and let him breathe slowly. “Stress?”

“I think so,” He said, lifting his head and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

A deep blush broke out across my face. “Sure you’ll be fine? I can ask Sam if he has any motrin in the first aid kit.”

“No,” He said, shaking his head. “I’ll be fine, I just needed a break.”

“That’s okay,” I promised, setting my hand on his cheek and smiling. “I take breaks sometimes too.”

He exhaled and smiled at me. “How did I get so lucky?”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Just…” He shrugged and set his hand over mine. “You.”

I laughed lightly. “You’ve told me that before.”

Colby’s eyes turned soft and he rubbed my hand with his thumb. “It’s true Ave, you’re amazing and kind and caring and beautiful,” His other hand played with the ends of my black hair. “You’re always putting others before yourself and thinking about what’s best for everyone.”

My eyes filled with tears and my jaw fell open in awe. “I’d kiss you right now if I could.”

“Why can’t you?”

We were so fucking close.

The moment the words left his mouth I was holding his face in my hands and leaning forward, rapidly closing the space. Our breath left at the same moment and our lips had just grazed each other.

“COLBY! AVERY! COME ON, WE HAVE A VIDEO TO FINISH!” Sam shouted from the door of B340.

We sprung apart like teenagers caught in the act. Once realizing that Sam had closed the door we burst into laughter.

I giggled once more and turned to Colby with a smile. “C’mon we can talk later, I want outta this place as soon as possible.”

The car ride was silent.

Trips like these usually end in a quiet ride home, each head processing what it had witnessed. Sam and I were in the front, Colby’s headache was making his thoughts swirl and he didn’t want to risk messing up the rental.

We dropped off Amanda and Matt to their respective locations. I handed Sam the gps with the location of our house and we rode in more quiet.

“You good back there?” I said breaking the silence.

Colby nodded. “It’s getting better.”

“Okay,” I said softly. “Tell me if you need the air turned down and such.”

It wasn’t awkward, we’d never been a trio for tension, I’d usually make a joke or two but this time I could tell that they needed the moment.

We came to the house and I trotted up to the door to unlock it while they brought in our stuff. I thanked Colby when he gave me my bag and they walked to their rooms to get some sleep.

“I’m gonna go to Katrina’s,” Sam said quietly. “Just for the night.”

I nodded. “That’s perfectly alright Sam, tell her I said hello.”

“Will do.”

In hindsight, I should have expected this. Sam had left to go see his girlfriend and Colby quietly excused himself to his room. This time around I didn’t go looking for him rather just cleaning up and heading off to edit a video.

My phone buzzed once in my pocket.

Colbyyyyyyyy: U awake?

I opened the message and saw that he had deleted it. I quickly jumped off my chair and padded softly over to his room.

“You ain’t slick bubs,” I laugh. “I’ve been awake for a while.”

He opened the door sheepishly and smiled. “Heeeeeeey.”

“Hi,” I said grinning. “Need something?”

He flushes deep red and rubs the back of his neck. “I just can’t sleep.”

“Wanna go watch a movie? Maybe lay in my bed while I edit?”

“Do you need to edit?” He asked. “I don’t want to bother you if you need to work.”

I thought about my upload schedule. “I can make time tomorrow.”

He shook his head rapidly. “I don’t want you to do more than you need to.”

“Then just come into my room and lay down,” I insisted. “If you need me Colby I’m right here. I am volunteering to do this, you are not making me.”

That seemed to do the trick, he slowly nodded watching me with wide eyes and walked into the hallway. I walked into the room and shut the door behind him.

Like he had done it a thousand times before, Colby walked over to my bed and laid underneath the white covers.

“I’ll be done in a few minutes,” I promised him.

He grumbled out an ‘mhm’ and watched me silently, I popped on my head phones and continued to sift through footage. After ten minutes or so I turned off my laptop and stood up to find Colby reading a random book on my bedside.

“Finally,” He sighed, smiling up at me and setting down the book.

I laughed breathily and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, quickly changing while Colby covered him face with the sheets. “Okay now you have my full undivided attention.”

He uncovered his head, smiled and just stuck his hands out. “Gimme a hug.”

Scooting beside him I let him wrap his arms around my waist, I reciprocated the hug and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “Wanna sleep or talk?”

I felt the rumble of his laugh in my chest. “I don’t think I can sleep.”

“Then we’ll talk till you feel safe,” I told him.

He looked up at me. “I do feel safe, Avery, you make me feel very safe.”

A beaming smile overtook my face. “Is that a good thing?”

“I think so?” He smiled and I gave a goofy one back.

I hugged him again. “You make me feel safe and loved, Colby Brock. “He was quiet and I was worried he was uncomfortable. “Bub-”

The moment I moved my head to look at him he was kissing me and I didn’t hesitate to do the same. God he was warm, I took note of how his bare skin felt under my palms and I blanked. My mind was solely focused on the beautiful boy kissing me.

We ran out of breath and pulled away, I was breathing heavily and propped up on my elbow. “That was-”

“I love you,” He interrupted giving me a look that made me blush. “You make me feel like the luckiest person in the world and I don’t say it enough. I’m sorry if that was over-stepping.” “Shut the fuck up,” I hissed with no real bite to my words. I pecked his lips again and held his face in my hands. “I have been waiting since 8th grade for this. Give me my moment.”

He chuckled and rolled he onto his chest. “Now I’m ready to go to bed.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

And that was enough for me.

Please do tell if you enjoyed!

I take requests as well.

#colby brock x reader #sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #oc #x oc #fluff #paranormal #youtube #oneshot #short story

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murfpersonalblog · 4 months

Text

IWTV S2 Ep4 Musings - Loumand

Assad was NOT. PLAYING.

Put those village feeders AWAY, sir~! 😍 You look ready to start lactating, omg! Assad NEVER misses a day at the gym!

What happened to y'all being so in sync, fellas?

Armand seems WAY more delusional here than Louis, for once. Which is telling--Armand had long been "failing" to hold onto his coven, and his authority.

Louis reading about Death while his daughter's arguing for her life, I can't.

And this little shrug when Armand punished Claudia, omfg, he is giving weak-willed-mother-who-lets-the-mean-stepfather-run-roughshod-over-her-kids-cuz-the-peen-is-too-good-and-he-pays-all-the-bills.

So we go from Lestat's "the Meat" and Claudia's "Kill Juice" to Armand's "Cattle."

NGL, I'd be pissed if I was the coven, too. How you gon' have this dude sit there not needing to follow the rules, while all of us are stuck wearing clown makeup and having our makers killed cuz of your dumb rules?!

I REALLY like this mutinous angle AMC's using, fleshing out the tension in the coven more, cuz it really makes sense.

I get that Louis would want to be around, but omfg cut the umbilcal already! I agree with the coven: like, WHY are you there exactly? Not even the worst helicopter moms are allowed to sit in class with their kids all day, so wtf? And I agree that Armand needs to draw MUCH thicker lines in the sand. Coven business is coven business--if Louis' not gonna even be allowed to speak up in Claudia's defense, then he shouldn't be there at all. ESPECIALLY if he's gonna flaunt how much he doesn't GAF about their rules--their CULTURE.

Aw crap, you got the homie Estelle mad, too?!

You done effed up, Louis--that's the smile of a psychopath. XD

Oh, he's keeping SOMETHING tight, he ain't lyin! 😜

👀

LOUIS! The ONE time you should've lied, omfg! 🤦 It's called making a UNITED FRONT, ffs!

Louis said Hot Girl Summer--literally.

🔥🕯️ FIRE GIFT LOUIS THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ️‍🕯️🔥

Louis said it only works when he's PISSED OFF, OH LAAAWWWWD!

This bit scared the crap out of me--at first I was like the coven's gonna jump y'all in your skivvies!? 😂 Then I was like wait--was that a crew member?! How did y'all not catch that in post!?

And then it all became clear.

*crosses self* HISSSSS.

CLEARLY it's not "great," when your man's man is throwing shade at your whole setup in Louis' head. 😬 Armand, you're barking up the wrong Rebound Tree, my guy.

The face that launched 1000 undead theatre kids into a blazing inferno. THE Louis of Troy, yaaaas~!

MESSY QUEEN.

🔥 FIRE GIFT LOUIS LFG. ️‍🔥

And this is likely why Louis believes what Armand said about him teaching Lestat the Mind Gift, cuz Armand taught Louis the Fire Gift.

Oh trust, we know you do, Armand. But how much does LOUIS know? 👀 ESPECIALLY when he doesn't go on hunts with y'all.

This can only end well.... 😬😈

AMC knows what they're doing--you knooooow that would've hurt Les to his core, if he knew Lou said ILY to Armand after only 1.5 years, when he (allegedly) never said it once to Lestat in 30. U_U Cuz you don't effing deserve it yet, Lestat! It's no skin off Lou's back to say that to Armand, cuz he's not REALLY giving up anything. He's not joining their stupid coven, and he's fine with them killing him. But Lou admitting that he loves Lestat means he'd have to take accountability for his COMPLICITY in everything that went wrong in his life, and that he chose Lestat over his entire family, his religion, his self respect, his sanity, ALL of it, for some heinous blonde Frenchman, lord have mercy. 😔 It's a hard pill to swallow.

And he's REALLY in the deep end now, if he expects his imaginary (boy)friend to start keeping promises. 🤦

#interview with the vampire #iwtv tvc metas #loumand #loustat #pyromaniac du lac #the hype is real #must see tv

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oririexcinere · 5 months

Text

"i must not tell lies" -The Boy Who Lived

Verse 1

Dear Delphini, I’m sorry that that man is your father, let me be honest I look at him and wish your grandpa woulda wore a condom I’m sorry that you gotta grow up and then stand behind his shadow Life is hard, I know, the challenges always gon’ be this home Sometimes our parents make mistakes that affect us until we grown And you a good kid that need good leadership Let me be your mentor, since your daddy don’t teach you shit Never let yourself depend on a 'leader' Either must die right there or expeliarmus that man, child Never fall in the pureblood bullshit, that’s bad religion Please remember, you could be dead even if you got horcruxes Never twist your morality, whether right or wrong, youre not just a Black too Get some discipline, don’t cut them corners like your daddy did, fuck what Slughorn did Understand, no throwin’ Killing Curses and hidin’ wands, that’s law Be proud of who you are, your strength come from within Lotta Dark Lords, that’s real, but your daddy ain’t one of them no more And you nothin’ like him, you’ll carry yourself as queen Can’t understand me right now, just play this when you 18

Verse 2

Dear Tom Sr, your son got some achivements, I hope you undermine them Especially with all the muggles that’s hurt inside this climate You one of 'em, so you know how it feels to be in alignment Dear Merope, you look for a future with emotion and hopin’ a man can see you and not be running you gave birth to a master manipulator Even usin’ you to prove who he is a huge favor I’m blamin’ the Gaunts for all his crazy believes Psychopath intuition, the man who like to play victim You created a horrible fuckin’ person, the nerve of you, Merope Girl, sit down, what I’m about to say is heavy, now listen Mhm, your son’s a sick man with sick thoughts I think wizards like him should die Him and Grindelward should get fucked up in a cell for the rest they life He hates Mixedbloods, enslaves them, with legislations of a selfharming fetish Cut his nose and hair off ‘cause he understand bein’ a monster just fit him better He got sorry excuses of wizards in his Death Eaters that pay him on a monthly allowance A child should never be compromised and he keepin’ their children around him And we gotta raise our kind knowin’ there’s purists like them lurkin’ Fuck a Department of Mysteries battle he should die so all of these wizards can live with a purpose I been in this world 7 years, I’ma tell y’all one lil’ secret It’s some weird shit goin’ on and some of these politicians be here to police it They be blamin' victims all inside of they home and feedin’ em to The Daily Prophet Then leak articles of themselves to further push their agendas To any wizard that be stayin’ neutral, know that you’re playin’ your children Or better, you’re sellin’ your grandkids, to the weirdos, not the good ones Rita Skeeter said, “Get you the truths,” so I’ma get mines The Ministry ‘bout to get raided, too, it’s only a matter of time Ayy, Longbottom, keep the family away, hey, Greengrass, will you keep the family away? To anybody that embody the love for they kids, keep the family away They lookin’ at you too if you standin’ by him, keep the family away I’m lookin’ to hex through any purist that lives, keep the family safe

Verse 3

Dear Bella, I’m sorry that your father wasnt active inside your world He didn’t commit to much but his career, yeah, that’s for sure He a narcissist, misogynist, livin’ inside his head Try destroy families rather than takin’ care of his own Shoulda bene teachin’ you spells or readin’ bedtime stories to you Or at your 11th birthday, opening the Hogwarts letter with you Instead, he be in France, payin’ for sex and poppin’ Potions Examples that you don’t deserve I wanna tell you that you’re loved, you’re brave, you’re kind but id be lyin' You got a gift to change the world and could change your baby daddy’s mind ‘Cause our children is the future, but he lives inside confusion Money’s always been illusion, but that’s the life he’s used to His father didn’t claim him neither History do repeat itself, sometimes it don’t need a reason But how I like to say it’s not your fault that he’s hidin’ another child Give ‘em grace, it’s the reason I respect Mr. Weasley So our babies like you can cope later Its a hopeless world but i wish for the better I never wanna hear you chase that man ‘cause his fell behavior Sittin’ at his feet with his other puppets for validation You need to know that love is eternity and trumps all pain I’ll tell you who your Lord is just play this song when it rains Yes, he’s a horcrux maker, torturer, dictator, right And a fuckin’ deadbeat that should never say “more life” Meet the Riddles

Verse 4

Dear Death Eaters, Take those masks off, I wanna see what’s under them achievements Why believe you? You never gave us nothin’ to believe in ‘Cause you lied about blood views, you lied about your legacies You lied about your family tree and your past tense all is perjury You lied about your superiority, you lied about your loyalty Hey Malfoys, Yall pussies, you lied on him, I know they all got you in ‘em You lied about your Imperios, you lied about your Lord, huh You lied about them other criminals that’s out there hopin’ that you come You lied about the only leader that can offer you some help, a greater good solution for yall

Verse 5

Dear Tom, I know you probably thinkin’ I wanted to crash your party But truthfully, I don’t have a hatin’ bone in my body This supposed to be a good exhibition within the Order But you fucked up the moment you showed up at my family’s house Why you had to stoop so low to discredit some selfulfilling prophecy? just for the lore? Guess intelligence is lost when the metaphors don’t reach you And I like to understand ‘cause your house was never a home 70, but you showin’ up as a 11-year-old You got mental problems, integrity problems rituals-coping’ and body problems, bad with money, Gringotts Solicitin’ wizardkind problems, therapy’s a lovely start I try to empathize with you ‘cause I know that you ain’t been through nothin’ Crave entitlement, but wanna be loved so bad that it’s puzzlin’ No dominance, let’s recap moments when you didn’t fit in No secret handshakes with your 'friends' No praise words from your Matron No cultural cachet to binge, just disrespectin' your mother Identities on the fence, don’t know which family will love ya, its back at the orphanage The skin that you’re livin’ in is compromised in souls Can’t channel your power even when holdin’ a Hallow You a blood shamer, you gon’ hide your own papa, ain’t ya? You embarrassed of him, that ain’t right, ain’t no mama to love you either Fuck a battle, this a long-life war with yourself.

mic drop.

#harry potter #tom riddle #voldemort #diss track #kendrick lamar #my post #Spotify

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daddyhausen · 1 year

Note

Hi!!! Yay for requests being open 😁

Could I please request a smutty Hangman please. Maybe falling into bed together after the first date?

Please and thank you!

• falling asleep on a stranger — hangman adam page •

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ masterlists } | { aew masterlist } | { hangman adam page masterlist }

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ summary } — they often say you should not fuck on the first date, but adam’s presence was simply to intoxicating for you to resist

{ warnings } — 18 + { minors do not interact } car sex, road head, mild drunk sex, oral sex { male + female receiving }, throatpie, multiple orgasms, male + female orgasms unprotected sex, rough sex, penetrative sex, vaginal sex

{ word count } — 2.5k

{ pairing } — fem!reader x hangman adam page

{ genre } — smut

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ taglist } — @cosmoholic13 @boutmachines @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @baysexuality @slut4kennyomega @wardlow @alexisquinnlee-bc @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @melissahausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @bonehead-playz @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @crowleysqueenofhell @romanreigns-supreme @janetreader @thenerdybaker523 @sunshinevirus @nicoleveno14 @rubyred1980 @elsteenerico @igncrxntripley

{ beta readers } — @allelitesmut + @legit9thlunaticwarrior

{ comment if you want to be added to the taglist }

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

the ambiance of the quaint little italian restaurant left you with a mild flirtatious feeling. yet you could not be so sure if it was adam’s presence before you or the glass of red wine stirring a commotion of arousal in your belly. the date had been going well so far, adam had been a gentleman throughout the night, treating you like a queen despite this being the first time you two had met officially. the night was spent getting to know each other, likes dislikes etc… typical first date things.

the restaurant lights held slight pinkish, almost rose gold hue that accentuated adam’s stoic, almost god-like features, the contours of his face seemed sharper, more masculine and handsome than you thought humanly possible, his golden curls, almost looked strawberry blond under the lighting, tied back into a sleek bun, letting a loose ringlet fall by his left temple, one of which he hastily tucked behind his ear

the blues of his irises glowing that of the blue irises that decorated the footpath leading to the restaurant. his gaze never leaving yours, not for a moment, even in silence as you tried to continue your story, getting flustered by his soft stare. in his gaze twinkled the slightest bit of lust, although you could surely be mistaken, thinking that the wine was to blame. adam still held that same lustful gaze, deep blues concentrated on your lips, scanning down to your cleavage, although the little black dress you wore surely left nothing to the imagination, yet his gaze never felt insulting or demeaning, it was as if he was admiring your body, that of what he could see anyway.

“you’re staring again, cowboy” you reminded him with a playful smile, adam blinked out of his trance momentarily, although how could he not stare with the way your breasts filled the thin fabric of the dress, pushing up against the sleek satin, just about ready to burst out at a moments notice.

“what do you expect me to do when i got the most beautiful woman sittin’ right in front of me?” he remarked flirtatiously, mirroring the same playful smirk as you, nursing the glass of whiskey, stirring the glass against the table, downing the rest in one gulp, never breaking eye contact in the process

“oh you flatter me” you waved your hand slightly in an exaggerated manner, mocking royalty with your gesture as adam took your hand gently, holding it in his palm for a second, letting his thumb run over your knuckles, admiring just how small and petite your hand looked in his, how well it seemed to fit.

“i ain’t lyin’ when i say it…” the silence that fell after was not awkward, it felt rather comfortable just gazing into his eyes, hoping that the feeling you felt were not just that of intoxication. your belly swelled with arousal just at the sight of him. clenching your thighs tightly together underneath the table in hopes to try and quell your lust. just before you were able to piece together a response, adam’s voice broke you out of your trance

“shit…it’s getting late…” adam glanced down at his phone momentarily, breaking apart your hands, much to your dismay. you responded with a solemn “yeah” glancing down at your own phone to see that the clock had just ticked past 10:30pm. the restaurant would surely close soon, but you definitely did not want the date to end just yet.

“i’ll drive you home…don’t want a pretty lady such as yourself walkin’ home all by herself at this hour…if that’s alright with you?” adam’s offer seemed apprehensive, almost afraid that you would reject it and the date would end there and then. you offered him a small nod in acceptance, smiling softly as you watched adam’s muscular chest fall with a sigh of relief.

he held out his hand, awaiting you to accept, which you did graciously. he led you to his car, opening the door for you, a gentleman as always, even buckling up your seatbelt, your bodies felt so close in that moment, his chest against yours so much so that you could practically feel how fast his heart was beating against your skin. you thanked him kindly for the gesture, giving him the directions to your house before eventually beginning to drive.

he looked so concentrated, your gaze fixed on him, something about his posture was so arousing, the way his hands wrapped around the steering wheel, how his fingertips tapped against the leather in almost silent thrums, you only wished for those fingers to fill you up, feel him roam between your thighs, have his hands and tongue explore every crevice of your body, to touch him, to taste him, to feel every inch of him giving you such euphoric pleasure.

“adam…” you mumbled, although it sounded more like a whimper in the cowboy’s ears, a sound that made him hard in his jeans. he turned his attention to you in his peripherals, noticing how tight you’d clenched your thighs together. never were you one to be so reckless and impulsive with things like this, especially on first dates, but adam had this way about him, something that made you want to abandon your morals and better judgement, even if it was only for one night.

“yes, darlin’” the sound of the newly acquainted pet name rang through your ears, only drenching your panties further as you shuffled in your seat desperate for friction.

“i can’t wait…” you leaned over him slightly, palming his already half-hard cock through his jeans. the cowboy gave a soft grunt, trying his best to focus on the road and not on the impure thoughts that raced through his brain.

“i need you…” your whimpers became too much for adam to handle. the cowboy relaxed into his seat, keeping one hand on the steering wheel, the other beginning to unbuckle his belt.

“then you can have me…” he freed his cock, the appendage throbbing against his palm, thick veins littering his impressive size, the tip leaking with pre-cum, glossy against the skin.

you leaned down, offering a small kitten lick to his tip, adoring the way his breathing changed patterns even from the slightest touch, you pressed on, kissing his tip, feeling him grow fully erect against your lips, licking hot stripes up his shaft, a hand caressing the base of his cock, watching him for a change in demeanour. feeling satisfied with your work for the moment, you admired his cock, how big it was, how aroused he had become in the space of a few minutes. continuing with small kitten licks just to tease him

“c’mon now, darlin’ don’t tease me like that” his voice was low, a small chesty rumble rang through the confined space of his car.

“but it’s fun” you playfully tease him, quickly wrapping your lips around his shaft, taking the entirety of his length down your throat, holding yourself there for a moment, letting his hand fall to the back of your head for stability, fingers weaving through the stands of your hair.

“oh shit-“ he muttered through gritted teeth, feeling your cheeks hollow around his shaft, immediately beginning to bob your head. his fingers slowly starting to massage your scalp, a subtle way of thanking you for the pleasure he was receiving

adam tried his best to keep his gaze fixed on the road, but he could not help but let his eyes stare down at you from time to time, loving the way your lips worked around his shaft, how you managed to suck him off with little to no resistance from your throat.

“fuck darlin’ i don’t think i’ll be able to drive for much longer if you keep doing that” adam grunted through a deep throaty moan, knuckles painted white with the sheer grip he held on the steering wheel.

“then pull over…” you pried your head up for a moment to respond to him. a slight pop sound rang throughout the car as you pried to lips from his shaft, wiping the spit from your chin momentarily before instantly going back for another taste. he managed to find an empty alleyway in a desolate side street, away from any potential onlookers.

“i know it ain’t the most romantic place but fuck- i need you so bad darlin’” adam turned off the car, now finally being able to give you that attention you need and frankly you very well deserved. adam glanced down, finally able to watch the way you sucked him off, how you seemed so intoxicated with his cock, how you sat on your knees, pretty ass just peeking out from underneath your tight little dress. he undid the ties to your dress, pulling the thin string that held the top part together, watching the way your breasts fell out from behind the fabric, how your pierced nipples grazed against the denim of his jeans. he surely would have never expected such sultry jewellery from a seemingly innocent woman such as yourself

“you suck my cock so well…i ain’t gonna last much longer-“

adam’s sentence caught in his throat, feeling his first orgasm of the night wash over him, his hot seed filled your throat with little objection on your part, pulling off of him and swallowing his warmth, thankful to receive his cum, you kissed him, a small way of thanking him, he tasted himself on your lips, moaning into the kiss as his large palms, fell to your breasts, kneading the soft flesh.

“back seat…i need to taste you”

you obliged, crawling your way into the back seat, making sure to give him a full view of your ass as you did so. you pried up the skirt of your dress, beginning to trace delicate circles against your clit, the sensitive nub shielded by your soaked panties as adam began to strip himself. you sat there for a moment in complete bliss admiring his sculpted body, as he threw his clothes into the passenger seat.

he nestled himself between your thighs, your scent so sweet, he could practically feel the heat of your arousal radiating from your cunt, he gave a small glance in your direction for approval, one of which you happily obliged with an enthusiastic nod. before he began, he leaned up slightly, placing another sweet kiss to your lips, smearing the remainder of his cum against the petal shaped buds.

he dove in without hesitation, prying your panties to the side with his teeth, his tongue roaming around your void, sucking and nibbling at your already swollen clit, he let two fingers fall down, spreading you sweet folds, before sinking them deep into your cunt, loving the way your walls tightly gripped around his digits. his free hand remained on your breasts, tightening it’s grasp as he played and plucked your nipple piercings

“oh fuck…” you whined, hips moving in sync with with fingers, effectively fucking yourself on them. you felt adam smile into your cunt, wanting to take his time with but also wanting to ruin you then and there.

“adam please-“ your cunt quivered around his fingers, his tongue flicking your sensitive pearl with such speed you felt as if you’d release them and there.

“need to make you feel good, darlin’” he sucked your clit before pulling away with a pop, freeing his fingers from your void before lightly slapping your cunt, your body jolted with pleasure, already so overstimulated as he resumed the pleasure.

“adam! it feels so good…” adam increased the speed of his fingers, yet keeping his tongue to slow, methodical strokes. you whined his name through breathless moans, cumming around his fingers, feeling him moan into you as he sampled your sweetness. you almost felt bad for ruining the upholstery of his car seats. he did not seem to care that much.

“fuck…” he grunted, the sound drawn out as it left his lips, he stared down at your dripping cunt, adoring the way it pulsed around him, still so desperate to be filled, how a small sheen of sweat coated your skin, already so fucked out yet he’d barely just begun.

he reached into his car’s glove compartment, a box of condoms rested inside just in case of occasions such as this one, he pulled one out before you stopped him.

“no” you spoke breathlessly, almost in a daze, cock-drunk and so needy for him. adam gave a small exhale, still holding the condom, he returned to you, pressing his forehead sweetly to yours, remaining still for the moment.

“are you sure? i can always put one on just in case-“

“no adam…it’s okay…”

adam offered you a small kiss to your forehead, placing the condom back in the box and closing the compartment. he positioned himself between your thighs, lining his cock up with your entrance. he pressed his lips to yours, slipping himself inside you with ease. he felt you moan against his lips, arms instantly wrapping around his neck, keeping his gaze fixed on you.

“don’t be gentle, i wanna feel every inch of you” you encouraged, playing the the fallen strands of blonde curls that fell in front of his eyes. he gave a small nod, persisting with a rough thrust, one that made you whine in ecstasy. and feel every inch of him you did.

adam’s movements were relentless, yet calculated, every thrust he gave hit you in just the right spot, sending your body into overdrive with pleasure.

“you feel so fuckin’ good, darlin’. if i could keep my cock buried inside you forever, i would”

you leaned up, kissing him with such intense passion that he almost halted his movements. he was enthralled by your presence, how intoxicating your body was to him, how beautiful you were, how good you felt around him, adam was in complete awe of you.

you peered down, watching the way his cock filled you up to the brim, the way you could see the thick outline of him in your stomach, you were completely in love with the sight.

“adam…i’m close-“ you were on the verge of tears, already feeling them prick your waterlines, adam was a quick thinker, peppering delicate kisses to the tops of your eyelids as a way to soothe you momentarily

“so am i, darlin’” his breath was featherlight against your skin, moving up to press a longing kiss to your forehead “…can i?”

“cum inside me, adam…please”

he obliged, wrapping your legs around his waist, keeping him hooked to you as the distance between his thrusts substantially decreased.

“fuckfuckfuckfuck-“ he groaned through clenched teeth capturing your lips once more as you spilled around him, your sweet cunt pulsing around his cock, bringing him to his own release. he pumped his hot seed deep into your void, keeping himself buried deep until he was certain you’d accepted every last drop of him.

“fuck…you were amazing, darlin’”

“as were you, cowboy”

the both of you got dressed in a comfortable silence, as was the ride back to your apartment. he was still the gentleman you’d come to know, despite absolutely ruining you mere moments prior, offering to walk you back to your apartment.

before parting for the final time you turned to him, planting a gentle kiss to his lips.

“hey adam?” you questioned, watching him turn back to greet you

“how about you stay the night?”

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

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