#Mainly cause both have their own issues that I think might stop them from getting together

[daeamour-a]

@royalreef​ asked: ❤❤❤ pretend i am sending the right heart emoji i am tired (yes feel free to do polly and milo while youre at it)

If It’s Love // Accepting

Miranda

If we kissed? [] Quickie. [X] Tongue. [X] Softly(?) bite your lip. [] We wouldn’t. [X] Long and meaningful. [] Let’s hit up the bedroom. [X] You remember last time? [] Awkward… [] Lol no. Would I go out with you? [X] Yes, definitely. [X] No. [X] I want to, but it wouldn’t work. [] Maybe. [] Nope, you’re like family. [] You’re cute, but probably not. [] Just simply not my type. [] If I knew you better. [] Already did. [X] I don’t know. If we took a picture together, we’d be… [] Hugging each other. [X] Just chilling. [] Holding hands. [] Kissing. [X] Acting dumb. [X] Normal picture. [] You holding me from behind. You are… [] Cute/Pretty. [] Good looking. [] Sexy. [X] All of the above You + me + room = … [X] Movies. [] Cuddling. [X] Hanging out. [] Kissing. [X] Playing games. [] Everything. [] Wouldn’t let you in. You should… [X] Hit me up. [X] Be mine. [] Marry me. [Already Did This] Reblog this so I can send you a heart. [X] Be studying If we got married, I’d… [] Divorce you. [X] Make kids. [] Take your money and bounce. [] Smash every day. [] I would cheat on you. [X] Be faithful. [] Kill you in your sleep [X] We wouldn’t

@milobelladonna​ / Milo

If we kissed? [X] Quickie. [X] Tongue. [] Softly bite your lip. [] We wouldn’t. [] Long and meaningful. [] Let’s hit up the bedroom. [] You remember last time? [X] Awkward… [] Lol no. Would I go out with you? [] Yes, definitely. [] No. [] I want to, but it wouldn’t work. [] Maybe. [] Nope, you’re like family. [X] You’re cute, but probably not. You know too much [] Just simply not my type. [X] If I knew you better. [] Already did. [X] I don’t know. If we took a picture together, we’d be… [] Hugging each other. [X] Just chilling. [] Holding hands. [] Kissing. [] Acting dumb. [X] Normal picture. [] You holding me from behind. You are… [] Cute/Pretty. [X] Good looking. [X] Sexy. [] All of the above You + me + room = … [] Movies. [] Cuddling. [X] Hanging out. [] Kissing. [] Playing games. [] Everything. [] Wouldn’t let you in. You should… [X] Hit me up. [] Be mine. [] Marry me. [] Reblog this so I can send you a heart. [] Be studying If we got married, I’d… [] Divorce you. [] Make kids. [X] Take your money and Bounce. [] Smash every day. [] I would cheat on you. [] Be faithful. [] Kill you in your sleep [X] We wouldn’t

@prankmasterz​ If we kissed? [X] Quickie. [X] Tongue. [] Softly bite your lip. [] We wouldn’t. [] Long and meaningful. [X] Let’s hit up the bedroom. [] You remember last time? [] Awkward… [] Lol no. Would I go out with you? [X] Yes, definitely. [] No. [] I want to, but it wouldn’t work. [] Maybe. [] Nope, you’re like family. [X] You’re cute, but probably not. [] Just simply not my type. [X] If I knew you better. [] Already did. [X] I don’t know. If we took a picture together, we’d be… [] Hugging each other. [X] Just chilling. [] Holding hands. [] Kissing. [X] Acting dumb. [X] Normal picture. [] You/Me holding me from behind. You are… [X] Cute/Pretty. [] Good looking. [X] Sexy. [] All of the above You + me + room = … [X] Movies. [] Cuddling. [X] Hanging out. [] Kissing. [X] Playing games. [] Everything. [] Wouldn’t let you in. You should… [X] Hit me up. [] Be mine. [] Marry me. [Already Did This] Reblog this so I can send you a heart. [X] Be studying If we got married, I’d… [] Divorce you. [X] Make kids. [] Take your money and bounce. [X] Smash every day. [] I would cheat on you. [X] Be faithful. [] Kill you in your sleep [X] We wouldn’t

[im-no-jedi]

I have Crosshair on the brain today for literally no reason and was really struck thinking about that moment with Wrecker and Tech in Kamino Lost. mainly how, yet again, Tech perfectly sums up what it's like being someone with a mental disability.

Wrecker breaks character a bit and gets angry at Crosshair for being such an ass, and especially for not putting an effort into leaving the Empire once his chip was removed. an understandable and valid reaction.

Crosshair doesn't have time to respond before Tech steps in though.

Tech straight up tells Wrecker to let it go. he doesn't need Crosshair to say anything because he already knows what Crosshair might say. despite not agreeing with him (as he later stated), Tech understands why Crosshair is behaving the way that he is. this indicates that Crosshair has behaved similarly in the past and therefore is no surprise to someone like Tech, who has the same problem. and he tries to explain that to Wrecker.

Tech outright states two of Crosshair's major character traits. two traits that can be seen both as positive and negative. neurodiverse people often have traits like this that manifest outside of their control, causing them to behave in ways that come across unnatural. it often takes an outside source, like Tech is doing here, for the person to even realize that those behaviors can be a bad thing. Tech even confirms the fact that it's simply a part of who Crosshair is.

but he doesn't stop there. because this goes beyond simple character traits, which can often be changed or altered in some way.

Tech starts by telling Wrecker that he can't change how Crosshair is. this is honestly good advice in general, but it especially applies to mental disability. no amount of work or effort can fully change how a neurodivergent person behaves. it's literally wired into their brain. sure, things like therapy and medication can help. but like a stubborn stain or a deep scar, those traits will never fully go away.

and Tech confirms this with one final statement.

Crosshair himself can't even do anything about it. and this to me is the real attribute of mental disability. it's simply something that's out of everyone's hands. it's also interesting to note Crosshair's expression here. he seems genuinely intrigued by Tech's statement, like he's just heard something he wasn't expecting to hear. Crosshair ends up asking why Tech "stood up" for him, but I think it goes beyond that. I think Crosshair hadn't considered that fact that things were out of his control. which we end up seeing in season two with his eventual strained relationship with the Empire.

now, this isn't me saying that we should excuse neurodivergent people for their behaviors. everyone, regardless of circumstance, should take responsibility for their own actions. and it's moments like this that are actually helpful in understanding how to deal with mental issues. I say this as a mentally disabled person myself. having that outside source to point out those behaviors, regardless of whether or not they were intentional, still have consequences. clearly, the consequence for TBB was the separation of Crosshair from the rest of the squad. he made that choice, but it was due to natural traits that were out of his control (among other things). hopefully he'll eventually realize this, but that remains to be seen.

it's no secret that I personally headcanon the entire Bad Batch as being neurodiverse. Tech may be the most obvious example, but the signs are there for the others as well. and this moment just further validates it for me. at the very least, it's an excellent comparison to mental disability, whether intentional or not, just like Tech's line in The Crossing. and I'll be forever grateful for a show like this giving us that representation 💙

[mymoodwriting]

Request for @not-liah (Sequel to Hybrid T.X.T) 10.2k, hybrids, domestic life, implied smut, physical attack, riots, claw marks, bleeding, hospital, false arrest, fire, death threats, kidnapping, dystopia, nomad life, ptsd, trauma, anxiety, abandonment issues, paranoia, attempted kidnapping, happy ending (@starillusion13)

“Rise and shine boys.”

It was always so nice to wake up in the loving embrace of your hybrids. You were never cold, and you never felt alone. Of course you had to get a bigger bed in order for all of you to fit, and they’d certainly fight at times as to who got to sleep by your side. At one point you had to set an order so they’d stop fighting. You didn’t want any of them getting hurt over such a trivial thing. Although the order wouldn’t stop them all from piling on top of each other to bombard you with morning kisses. It was an excellent wake up call.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough!” You giggled. “I have to get out of bed at some point.”

“No you don’t.” Beomgyu whined. “Let’s have a lazy day…”

“If I don’t get up to work, who’s gonna pay for your expensive treats? We might have to make some budget cuts.”

“What? No! That’s not fair!”

“We can have a lazy day on the weekends.”

“You heard the girl.” Soobin remarked. “Come on, we gotta get her out of bed.”

“Wait, what?”

Before you knew it all the boys had scrambled up and were grabbing you, pulling you out of bed. They were all laughing as you told them to take it easy, but soon enough they had you on your feet and were pushing you towards the bathroom.

“I’ll get started on breakfast.” Yeonjun volunteered. “Come on Tae.”

“What? Why me!?”

“Let’s go.”

They had all learned to do more around the house to help you. Their cooking was pretty good, but they always loved your home cooked meals the most. For work you now had your own little office at home. It was a nice set up, although you had to lock the door to keep the boys out. They’d still whine at the door, especially as it got close to lunch time, but you had to keep focus. It was much easier on everyone knowing the other was simply behind a door. Of course Soobin knew where the emergency key was in case they ever needed to get to you, but that was a secret between you and him.

You still preferred being home, you had everything you needed there, but your hybrids weren’t just pets. They had to look out for your health too, so they’d be taking you to the park to get some air, even if it was under the guise of them needing a walk, every now and then. There were also some hybrid friendly events that would be happening in the area where you could all go have fun together. Everything seemed to work out for you guys, and you couldn’t be any happier. It was a blessing that you found them that day cause you couldn’t imagine where you would be now without them.

“Y/n…”

“Hm?”

Sundays were mainly days to lounge around and watch TV. You were laid out on the couch with Kai resting on top of you. He found himself dozing off as you mindlessly pet his head and scratched his ears.

“I feel funny…”

“Huh? Are you sick?” You put your hand on Kai’s head. “You don’t feel hot.”

“I’m tingly…”

“Tin- where?”

“Hm?”

“When was the last time we played together?”

“Yesterday…”

“I meant intimately, Kai.”

Kai’s ears immediately perked up and he looked over at you, wide awake. You chuckled upon his reaction, petting his head again.

“You said you felt funny?” Kai nodded. “Any idea why?”

“I think so…”

“Ya! Ya!” Beomgyu came over and shoved Kai off of you. “What about me! We haven’t played in a while too!”

“Beomgyu! You can’t just shove Kai like that!”

You helped Kai sit back on the couch, giving Beomgyu a slight glare. Thankfully Kai wasn’t hurt, but that certainly wasn’t nice.

“Beomgyu, apologize.”

“Sorry…”

“Meanie.” Kai stuck his tongue out.

“Ya, I don’t want you two fighting.” You pet both of them. “Now, Beomgyu, were you eavesdropping?”

“A little bit… only one of us can lay on top of you at a time…”

“Ah, so you were jealous and waiting your turn?” Beomgyu nodded. “That’s very cute. Next time you should ask Kai to share.”

“But he’s always hogging your attention!”

“It must be hard when there’s five of you and only one of me.”

“Very.”

“Are we still gonna play…” Kai mumbled.

“You still feel funny?”

“Yeah…”

“Can I play too?” Beomgyu asked.

“Two on one doesn’t seem so bad.”

“Yes!” “Awesome!”

♥♥♥♥♥

You got used to playing with them, so even when it was more then one you always seemed to be the last one standing. It was cute to watch them sleep for once, although you made a note to change the bedsheets later. You quietly got up and went to shower, leaving the other two to rest. You went over to the kitchen but stopped when you heard the news.

“Another hybrid protest took place this afternoon. What started off as a peaceful demonstration evolved into a riot. Law enforcement officials kept things to a minimum, avoiding any casualties, although 46 people were sent to the hospital for treatment. Most hybrids that participated in the riots were arrested on the scene, but officials are still looking-”

“Soobin.”

“Hm?”

“You okay?”

You weren’t even sure how long hybrids had been around, but it felt like things would eventually develop in such a manner. As of late more and more hybrids were gathering together, asking for equal rights. They didn’t want to solely be pets or labor to people anymore. You could understand where they were coming from, although it did make you worry about your boys.

“I’m fine, why?”

“The news… how do you feel about it?”

“I’m happy where I am. We all are.”

“Okay. Let me know if you ever need to talk about anything.”

“Of course.” Soobin offered you a smile. “We do need to go grocery shopping soon.”

“Ah, tomorrow after work we can go. If you guys want something special for dinner we can get the ingredients too.”

“Great. I’ll discuss it with the others and let you know.”

“Thanks.”

Everyone adored grocery trips, although you always had to be firm with them about what they put in the shopping cart. You always made a list to make sure nothing was missed, and used it to make sure they weren’t too greedy.

“Y/n, can I have these?”

“I’m pretty sure your other box of treats is half full, Yeonjun.”

“No! It’s half empty!”

“You still have snacks at home. Next time you can get some.”

“Please, pretty please, I want these!”

“Yeonjun.”

“Please.” Yeonjun whined. “Please, please-”

A sudden scream took everyone by surprise. The boys immediately came to your side, looking around for the source. They didn’t need to wait long as more screaming erupted and people started to run. You heard as things were getting knocked over, and then there were the sounds of barking and roars.

“We need to get out of here.” Soobin stated. “Now.”

Soobin took your hand and started making his way to the nearest exit, the others right behind you. Although it wasn’t long before you found yourselves in trouble. Three hybrids got in your way, snarling and hissing. Your boys did the same, although you told them not to cause trouble. There was no reason to fight.

“We’re not some pets!” One of the hybrids yelled.

“Why are you protecting some human!” Another growled.

“Mind your business.” Taehyun snapped. “We can do what we want with our lives!”

“Is it really your life?”

“Not all humans are bad!”

“I’m not listening to a domesticated house cat!”

The hybrids moved to attack and Kai pulled you away from them, keeping you safe for the time being. You didn’t want anyone to fight, and when other hybrids were drawn to the commotion you got fearful. Kai kept you behind him, but he had to bare his own claws and fangs to keep you safe.

“Stop it! There’s no reason to hurt each other!”

You hated seeing your boys get hurt, and you couldn’t just continue to watch. You grabbed the nearest weapon-like object and hit the hybrid that was attacking Taehyun. The hybrid snarled and turned back to you only to get another hit in the face. While they were distracted Taehyun grabbed them from behind and threw them to the ground. You then ran over to help Beomgyu, only for another hybrid to get in your way. They roared and then you felt a pain in your chest.

You dropped your weapon and looked down, seeing the blood and claw marks on your chest. As the smell hit you everything started to blur. You could vaguely make out the hybrid taking another swing at you, but you didn’t feel anything. You collapsed to the floor, adding a throbbing pain in your head to the numbness that was consuming you. The second the boys had smelled blood they rushed over to you in a panic. Soobin had attacked the hybrid that hurt you, punching their face in until they heard sirens. From there all the other hybrids scrambled away.

“Y/n, stay with me.”

Yeonjun had you in his arms, Kai putting pressure on the wounds. They were all trying not to cry, talking to you so you stayed awake.

“Are you… are you ok…”

“What about you… why did you…”

“Don’t get hurt… over me…”

“Ya, we’re your emotional support hybrids.” Taehyun mumbled. “We’re supposed to take care of you.”

“Beomgyu.” Soobin called. “The sirens, go get help. We can’t move her like this.”

“Okay.”

“Y/n, hey, stay awake.” Yeonjun gently shook your head. “Tell me how you feel.”

“Uh… cold… but comfy…”

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Hm… are you gonna cook?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you want.”

“Then… surprise me…”

Kai laughed. “You trust him that much?”

“Yup…”

“Keep talking. Your birthday is coming up, what do you want to do?”

“Birthday… you… what about you… your birthday… we should celebrate you too…”

“We don’t really know our birthdays.” Soobin said. “We can figure that out together.”

“Yeah… I like that…”

Beomgyu came rushing back, paramedics right behind him. As much as they didn’t want to let go they had to step away as the paramedics took care of you. They got you on a gurney, taking you outside. The boys closely followed, but none of them were allowed to go with you in the ambulance. The paramedic did let them know what hospital you’d be taken to, so they could find you there. Soobin knew they wanted to argue but he held them back. There was chaos around them, firefighters and other paramedics around. 

They had minor injuries that didn’t require much attention so they figured they’d start making their way over to the hospital. Although amidst all the chaos police officers wound up arresting them, mistaking them for participants in the riot. They all tried to argue that wasn’t the case, that they were just helping their caretaker and needed to get to the hospital. Of course their story wasn’t believed and they wound up in a transport vehicle with other hybrids. It wasn’t until they were at a police station and being identified that the truth was revealed.

From there the officer was nice enough to call the hospital and check on your status, and to also check their story. With the situation cleared up they were let go, and Soobin made sure to ask for directions. Lucky for them it wasn’t a long walk to the hospital from the station. When they arrived Soobin asked the front desk for your room, thanking the nurse. They all headed up together, relieved that you were okay. Although upon getting to your room they realized there were two security guards outside and blocking their way.

“We’re her hybrids.” Soobin explained. “We’re here to check on her. Just tell her we’re here, she’ll let us in.”

“…”

Soobin knew the others were getting an idea to fight their way in but they didn’t need any more trouble. The night was already dragging on. Before Soobin could try to reason with the guards, someone stepped out of the room in a suit, clearly not the doctor.

“Excuse me, who are you? Why did you come out of y/n’s room?”

“And you are?”

“We’re her hybrids. We’re her emotional support hybrids so we can be here. The guards won’t let us in though.”

“Ah, so you’re the offenders.”

“Huh?”

“Security. Have them arrested.”

“What!?” Kai yelled. “On what grounds!”

“For attacking your owner.”

“That wasn’t us! The riot-”

The two security guards tried to arrest them, but this time around they weren’t going to let themselves be taken so easily. Of course this drew attention and more guards came, and eventually the police showed up as well. Things had never been this difficult for them on the streets. With all this commotion going on Beomgyu took the chance to break into the room, seeing you for a moment before being tazed. He tried to fight it but the shocks eventually cut his world to black.

♥♥♥♥♥

Instead of finding themselves behind bars, the boys woke up in a different cage. They had never been here before, but they heard about it. A hybrid pound. Kai was tugging at the chain door, but it was no use as he was still recovering from being tazed.

“Why are we here?” Yeonjun asked. “We didn’t do anything…”

They weren’t the only ones locked up. The other cages around them also housed some other hybrids. Some were beat up, others seemed like they had been here a while.

“That’s a dumb question.” A hybrid hissed. “Humans don’t treat us with any respect. They’ll throw you away with the thrash without a second thought.”

“Not all humans are like that.” Taehyun snapped. “You guys are the ones giving the rest of us a bad name!”

“Not every hybrid here participated in riots. Some here were taken off the streets, or taken from the place they thought was home. You say humans aren’t bad but you’re here with the rest of us now.”

“Something’s wrong.” Kai whimpered. “Why didn’t they let us see y/n?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll be okay.” Soobin assured. “When y/n gets better and realizes what happened she’ll clear everything up. She’ll get us out of here and then we’ll go home.”

A hybrid scoffed. “Keep dreaming.”

Since they didn’t know your condition there was no real way of knowing how long your recovery would take, so all they could do was wait. The days went on, they were fed some weird slop, but they kept hope. They couldn’t help but worry over you, but they knew you were in a hospital and getting treatment, so you’d be okay.

“Isn’t it your lucky day.” A staff member came over to their cage. “You’re going on a trip.”

“We’re gonna see y/n!” Taehyun cheered. “Finally.”

“Something like that.”

When taken out of the cage the boys were still chained up, that should have been the first red flag to them. They were escorted outside and into the back of a ban, their chains secured to the floor.

���Is all this necessary?”

“We did start a fight in a hospital.” Soobin reminded. “They’re being cautious.”

“Not our fault they didn’t let us see y/n.” Yeonjun grumbled.

“Just behave. All of you.”

“We know.”

It felt like eternity before they arrived at wherever they were supposed to be. When the door opened they were met with more security guards. The chains weren’t removed and the were escorted inside the building. It seemed quiet, except for a few people, but none of them really knew what was going on.

“Guys…” Beomgyu whispered. “I think this is a courthouse…”

“What?”

“It looks like the ones on TV.”

“Why would we be here?”

“No idea…”

Beomgyu’s guess was correct, and soon enough they entered a courtroom. None of them liked this, moreso when they saw you next to a stranger. It wasn’t a stranger for long as Soobin recognized the person next to you as the one that had them arrested in the hospital. He growled under his breath but Yeonjun elbowed him to stop. They were all confused over the matter, and they shouldn’t do anything to make it worse. You of course were their biggest concern. You were sitting next to that jerk, still dressed in your hospital clothes and sitting in a wheelchair. It looked like you hadn’t even noticed them, and that you weren’t entirely present either. The boys were moved to stand next to another gentleman that introduced themselves as their lawyer.

“Lawyer!” Kai questioned. “Why do we need a lawyer?”

“The prosecution is pressing charges against you.”

“For what?”

“The injuries y/n-”

“We got caught in the recent riot, she got injured there!”

“I know. We’ll run with that, but on that same note, the riots will certainly make it harder to convince the judge.”

“We’d never hurt her.”

“I know. This shouldn’t really be a case, but some prosecutors really have it out for hybrids as of late and will do anything to hurt them. I’ll do my best to get you all back home.”

They all had so many questions, so much worry over you. Especially how anyone got you roped into this mess. If anything this was the time you needed them most and they hadn’t been by your side at all. Once the proceeding began they could only sit back and watch how all these things unfolded. Although most of them would continue to stare over at you. Even from a distance they could tell you were tired, probably should still be in the hospital too. When they weren’t looking at you their gaze was to the prosecutor. This whole thing seemed suspicious, but they couldn’t do much about it right now. 

“The hybrids present are registered as your emotional support hybrids, correct?”

“Yes.”

Everyone seemed to know you weren’t in a position to be on the stand and talking about anything, but it seemed that the prosecutor insisted you were fine.

“Was this your idea?”

“No, I had-”

“It wasn’t your idea?”

“No…”

“Did they, the hybrids in question, suggest it?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. And our records show you didn’t adopt from a shelter. So, where did you find them?”

“They were living on the street.”

“Had you interacted with them before?”

“Not really…”

“Not really, or not at all?”

“Not at all.”

“So what compelled you to take them in and adopt them?”

“I… they were cute… and I didn’t want to leave them on the streets…”

“You have a good heart. Unfortunately that’s something that can be taken advantage of.”

“What?”

“A while after you adopted those hybrids you stepped away from your job, opting to work from home, correct?”

“Yes.”

“So they have more access to you?”

“I don’t see-”

“Yes or no?”

“Yes…”

“Your honor, this has gone on long enough. What’s the point of all these questions?”

“I’m getting there.”

“Please proceed.” The judge spoke.

“Very well.” The prosecutor cleared their throat. “The hybrids in y/n’s care have been taking advantage of and abusing their owner.”

“Excuse me!” Soobin snapped. “On what-”

Security and the others were immediately getting Soobin to sit back down and be quiet. He wasn’t the only one mad over the absurd statement, but it was hard on all of them to just sit there and watch.

“As I was saying. These hybrids took advantage of y/n’s kind nature. Most people adopt one or two hybrids, but five at a time? That’s quite a big responsibility. They outnumber their owner, and can over power them with ease. Furthermore they suggested becoming her emotional support hybrids, meaning they can follow her to more places. On top of all that her recent injuries-”

“Your honor, those injuries are a result of an attack from rioters.” The lawyer cut in. “They did not hurt their owner.”

“Do you have proof?” The prosecutor asked. “The sudden riot surely put her on edge and her memories of the event may not be clear. It’s the perfect scenario to hurt her and-”

“On what grounds do these hybrids have to hurt her?” The lawyer questioned. “They’ve never done so before.”

“But they have.”

“What?”

“I had further tests run on miss y/n, revealing multiple scars, as well as fading claw marks and bites. Such injuries are known to be caused by hybrids. Miss y/n has received previous abuse by-”

“They didn’t hurt me.” You stated. “I… I engaged… with them… in-”

“Coercion and manipulation. They forced you-”

“We didn’t do anything!” Yeonjun yelled. “She agreed-”

“Sit down.” The lawyer hissed.

“Your honor.” The prosecutor spoke. “Given the information we’ve just learned it’s safe to say miss y/n is not in a good state of mind, and requires psychiatric help. These hybrids have been taking advantage of her in many ways and should not remain in her custody.”

“That’s not true.” You said. “None of that is true! It was my decision, they didn’t-”

In your attempt to change the narrative you had gotten up too fast, making yourself dizzy and pulling on your stitches. You nearly collapsed but a security guard caught you. Now everyone was concerned. Kai couldn’t help himself and jumped over the table, chains and all, wanting to get to you. Security tackled him to the ground though, and the others got rowdy too. Chaos erupted but they weren’t going to get anywhere near you. When they had been restrained the judge slammed their gavel and made a decision. Ultimately siding with the prosecution.

The boys had to be dragged out of the courtroom, screaming out your name, but you couldn’t respond. Once outside they wound tased and thrown back into the van that brought them here. They were mumbling and thrashing around in their restraints. They couldn’t believe what had just happened, and they all wanted to wake up from the nightmare. Instead they wound up back in a cage, left with nothing but despair. It all felt so unreal, and they didn’t even know what came next. They were no longer your hybrids. The prosecutor having made them out to be monsters that used you and hurt you. They weren’t even sure if you were aware of what had happened.

“Wa… what do we do now…” Taehyun mumbled. “Y/n… is she gonna be okay…”

“We can do an appeal or something.” Beomgyu said. “Right? The… the evidence…”

“Something is very wrong here.” Soobin remarked. “That whole situation… y/n… something is going on…”

“What are we supposed to do?” Yeonjun asked. “They got us locked up in cages and we have no idea where they took y/n.”

“I… I don’t know…”

“We have to get out of here first.” Kai added. “We can’t do anything in a cage.”

“Yeah… yeah that’s a good starting point.”

With a goal in mind they could all ease their nerves and focus on something else besides your well being. For the next couple of days they were quiet and well behaved, watching the staff and trying to get as much information as they could. They needed to know the rotations, as well as who had the keys to their cage. It was hard, but they still had enough information to form a decent plan. Although when they found themselves ready they received some horrid news.

“Good news you animals. We’ll no longer be keeping you here.” The person chuckled. “Your kind on the outside has caused enough trouble to justify putting all of you down.”

Those words immediately caused an uproar. Every hybrid yelling and yanking on the cage doors. It didn’t help them break free, and terror filled the atmosphere. The boys were panicking, their whole plan just thrown out the window. Before they could think of an alternative the whole building shook, the lights flickering for a moment. The staff member rushed out of the room, leaving the door open. From there everyone else could hear the loud screams. Next thing they knew a handful of hybrids came in, unlocking all the cages.

More chaos erupted as the ones who had been locked up scrambled out of their confinements and towards the nearest exit. They boys held back for a moment, letting things settle down before making their own escape. On their way out they could see other staff members being attacked and the fires that had erupted in the facility. This wasn’t their problem, so they ignored it and made their way outside. Things weren’t actually better out there. Now it made sense why they were freed. The world outside was on fire, both figuratively and literally. A major riot had broken out, and there was panic and all types of chaos around them.

“Wa… what do we do?” Taehyun questioned.

“The hospital.” Kai said. “Y/n would have been taken back to the hospital, right?”

“Do we even know how to get there from here?” Beomgyu wondered. “I don’t even know where we are.”

“I know where to go.” Soobin stated. “Let’s just try to avoid this mess.”

“That’s easier said than done.” Yeonjun commented.

“We just need to get to y/n, nothing else matters right now”

It wasn’t going to be an easy journey through this mess. Both humans and hybrids alike were looting, setting fires, and fighting one another. Sirens could be heard all around, and any law enforcement officers had their hands full breaking up fights. The boys stuck to the shadows, not wanting to draw attention to themselves, but there were still the crazy who just wanted a fight. They couldn’t avoid injury, but they stuck together and chose to run when they had the chance. Even as daylight began to illuminate the world the madness persisted. It was starting to become clear this wasn’t just one chaotic night, but the beginning of something else. They didn’t care for it, focusing on their mission.

It felt like a dream come true when they arrived at the familiar hospital. Although upon stepping inside they realized things weren’t great here. They didn’t care about anyone else though, making their way up to the floor you were on, pushing past anything and anyone that got in their way. All the pain felt worth it when they reached your room, but when they stepped inside they found it empty. Your patient information was still on the bed and outside the door, but you were nowhere to be seen. Kai and Beomgyu immediately went to check the rooms next door, finding them all empty too.

“There’s no one here…”

“They must have evacuated the patients.” Yeonjun realized. “She’s long gone now.”

“There has to be a record of where they sent her though, right?”

“Maybe.”

The boys found the nearest desk, lucky to find a computer logged in. Soobin typed in your name, finding your file. Although there was nothing in there about being transferred. According to the computer you were still in the hospital.

“There’s nothing…”

“Where would she go then?” Taehyun asked. “Where would they take her?”

“To one of the nearest hospitals.” Beomgyu said. “But which one?”

“How would we know?”

While they were discussing, Yeonjun was scanning his surroundings. Without telling anyone he ran off and tackled someone to the ground. The other guys rushed over, seeing that Yeonjun had a nurse pinned down. Before they could question him Yeonjun asked the nurse what had happened, and where patients would be transferred to. They gave them a list of hospitals, and told them that once an explosion had gone off nearby evacuation procedures were started. Many patients were moved before the chaos reached the hospital here.

“What do we do now…” Kai wondered. “She could be anywhere by now… and with the riots… we’ll wind up arrested won’t we? What if we get killed! We almost got-”

“Kai, calm down.” Taehyun pulled him into a hug. “We’ll find her… we will…”

“How…”

“I don’t know yet…”

“Soobin.” Yeonjun spoke. “What should we do?”

“We go home.”

“Huh?”

“We can’t be out on the streets right now, and we need to figure out our next move.”

“But-”

“Y/n’s in a hospital, she’ll be okay.”

“No.”

“What?”

“We have to go find her.” Beomgyu stated. “She’s alone and-”

“Look around you, Beomgyu. Everything is on fire, people and hybrids alike running wild. Look at yourself too, you’re no in condition to be traveling to another town. None of us are.”

“…”

“If we’re not okay, she’ll worry. Besides,” Soobin took in his surroundings. “I don’t think things are going to calm down easily after tonight.”

“What do you mean?” Taehyun questioned.

“Let’s just go home first.”

It was strange to be home without you. They had gotten used to you always being near them, the furthest you ever were was behind a door, but to not have you there at all, it felt wrong. They cleaned themselves up, and watched the world unfold from there. The news reported how the riot they experienced wasn’t just an isolated incident, but one of many that took place that night. To a degree they really had been sheltered, fortunate to have a roof over their bed and a loving owner. Many others weren’t so lucky, and the disparity between humans and hybrids had reached its tipping point. None of them could have ever imagined a revolution taking place.

A couple of days after they got home the news stopped broadcasting, all the channels just stopped. They all knew things had certainly taken a turn for the worse, and their worries over you only grew. It was probably just as dangerous, if not more, to go out into the world now, but circumstances have changed. They packed up some supplies, having their list and directions so they could go out and find you. Soobin kept the emergency phone with him, all of them holding onto the possibility of you calling them. They even left a note at home in case you came back while they were gone.

“So… where do we go first?”

♥♥♥♥♥

When the boys had first set out on their journey they thought they’d find you and be together again in a matter of days, a week or two, but now here they were, months later. Cutting communications was only the beginning. They didn’t really know what was going on with the world, but they only cared to find you. In the coming months they became nomads. They traveled to all the possible locations you could be, but the result was always the same. You weren’t there. Either the hospital itself was in shambles, or you weren’t on record. They even checked with the Jane Does, although none of them wanted to even fathom the idea that you were truly gone.

They weren’t the only nomads around. Many hybrids, and people, found themselves without a home. The world had turned into a dystopia in a matter of weeks. No one really knew what the future held, or how the world would move forward, but what kept them going was finding you. So as they traveled they asked about you, hoping someone had seen you, or perhaps knew where you were. They had pictures of you, and a few of your items, although the scent was faded. It was hard to keep hope, as everyday that went by felt like they were getting further and further from you until they finally had a breakthrough.

“You recognize her?”

“Yeah, she seems familiar.”

“Seriously, hold on a second.”

The boys had been in an abandoned building with some other lost souls, trying to keep warm for the night. They’d take a picture of you and spread out to see if anyone recognized you. For the most part the answer was no, but when Taehyun got a yes he freaked out. He scrambled to get one of your old shirts out for the dog hybrid to smell, and they nodded.

“Smells like her.”

“Where is she? Where did you last see her?”

When the others had heard Taehyun questioning someone they rushed over, also throwing questions at them. Soobin had to tell them all to calm down and listen. 

“She was pretty quiet, traveled with some hybrids. They took care of her but it was obvious she had been through some things. I saw the group again without her and asked, they said they had left her in a care facility.”

“A what?” Yeonjun questioned. “Care facility?”

“I heard that’s where they’ve been keeping humans, no idea what goes on there though.”

“A care facility… hybrids run it?”

“Yeah. Some places are starting to rebuild.”

“Hybrids on top…” Soobin mumbled. “Seems surreal.”

“Better than being beneath humans.”

“They weren’t all bad…”

“But the ones in power mostly were.”

“Yeah…”

“I hope you find her. I’m assuming she was your owner?”

“And we were her emotional support hybrids.” Kai commented. “We took care of each other…”

“She seemed like a good person. I’m sure she’s alright and will be happy to see you.”

“I hope so.”

It was reinvigorating to have a destination in mind, to know for certain that you were alive, and that they could actually see you again. Of course now there was the issue of finding this care facility, and they soon learned there was more than one. Thankfully that wouldn’t be much of a problem. When they found one they inquired about you, showing your picture and giving your name. You weren’t at that location, but you were in the system and they were given the address. They all stared at that piece of paper for a while, unable to believe this was where they could find you after all this time.

They wasted no time making the journey, setting little time aside to actually rest. When they arrived at the care facility they were told you were there. They stood outside for a moment, a strange disbelief gripping them tight. There was fear that maybe this was all a mix up, that they had rekindled hope only to be back at square one. Still, they had to know so they made their way inside. They went through the whole intro and asked about you again. It took a moment but it seemed that this was the place. Another hybrid came over and introduced themselves, intending to show them around the facility.

“What is a care facility…” Taehyun mumbled. “What do you do here…”

“It’s in the name, we care for humans.”

“Why though… they did a lot of bad things…”

“And we’re not them. Besides, not all humans are bad. You’re here to see the human that was once your owner, right?”

“Yeah…”

The facility was a lot bigger than they expected, and there was a decent number of humans there. They seemed to be doing alright, happy even, as if the world hadn’t fallen apart.

“Where’s y/n?” Kai asked. “I don’t see her around here.”

“Y/n is a special case.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t worry, she’s doing well, but her situation requires extra attention. She’s kept in her own room and attended to personally.”

“Why is that the case?” Yeonjun asked nervously. “What happened?”

“It’s… complicated… are you aware of the war that went on?”

“We avoided that.” Soobin answered. “And kept to ourselves while we traveled. We were lucky not to get so involved.”

“Indeed, but unfortunately y/n didn’t share in your fate.”

“What do you mean?”

“Humans were well aware they did not match us in power, even with their toys, and they’re own kind weren’t lining up to take arms. Supposedly some organization rounded up those that were injured by hybrids, intending to turn their hurt into anger and get them to fight.”

“Are you saying… y/n was tortured…” Beomgyu whimpered. “… she… she…”

“I only have the basic information of what happened. Any details… well I honestly don’t know where you could get them, the hybrid that dropped her off here let us know of her past. She never set foot on the battlefield though, the only injury she has is the one on her chest.”

“Oh… but she’s okay?”

“She’s doing well.”

The boys were led away from the main facility and to a more quiet area. They passed by multiple rooms, seeing some humans behind the glass. Eventually they came to a stop, all of them stepping closer to the window. They didn’t see anyone, but they could tell someone was lying in bed under the sheets.

“Can we see her?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“What?”

“Given her circumstances she can’t have unauthorized guests.”

“But it’s us.” Yeonjun countered. “She knows us, I’m sure she’s missed us as much as we have.”

“I understand you knew her in the past but-”

“We came here to take her home.” Soobin stated. “Now let us in.”

“Home? She is not leaving this facility-”

“Ya!”

Yeonjun suddenly tackled the other hybrid, searching them for a keycard. When he got it he tossed it over to Taehyun, who quickly got the door open. No one needed to be told what to do then, they all rushed into the room. Soobin knelt down by the bedside, carefully pulling back the cover. He couldn’t describe the joy he felt in seeing your sleeping face. He carefully brushed a strand of hair out of your face.

“Y/n…”

The others were also overjoyed to see you again, and Yeonjun made his way inside when he had a chance. Soobin pulled back the cover some more, revealing something unexpected. In your arms you had five plushies. Three dogs and two cats, all different styles but the colors of the fur matched them.

“Y/n… hey… sweetie… wake up…”

“Hm…”

You groaned, rubbing your face against the pillow. You peeked your eyes open a bit, seeing Soobin. A soft smile appeared on your face.

“Hi…”

“Hi… it’s so good to see you again…”

“You’re always in my dreams…”

“Dreams? Y/n, this isn’t a dream. It’s real, I’m here, we’re all here.”

“Huh?”

You felt a hand gently pet your head, reaching up yourself and feeling the warmth attached to it.

“Soobin…”

“Hi.”

You sat up and reached over to touch Soobin’s face. Tears began to sting your eyes as you realized he was real. He gave you a soft smile, wiping away some tears. You jumped into his arms for a hug, starting to cry. Then you felt another hand on your head, looking over to see the rest of your boys there too.

“… you… you’re all… real… you’re here…”

“Yes, yes we’re here, we’re real.”

“Get them out of here!”

“What!?”

What appeared to be security entered the room, grabbing the boys and trying to drag them out. You saw the commotion and held onto Soobin tighter.

“No, no, no, no, don’t go, don’t-”

“Everything’s going to be okay.”

As the two of you were surrounded Soobin kept a hold of you. He was grabbed, his arms being pried off of you. He tried to hold on, to fight back, but the second they could pull you away they started a commotion. You screamed and thrashed, crying for Soobin until you felt a pinch in your neck. You were left to sob until you passed out. Soobin continued to fight though, but was ultimately carried out of the room and thrown back out to the lobby with the rest of his brothers.

“Give her back to us right now!” Beomgyu yelled.

“That’s not going to happen.”

“And who are you!”

“The person in charge of this facility.”

“She’s not someone you can just keep!”

“And what right do you have to take her?”

“She’s ours!” Yeonjun stated. “We took care of her and-”

“You took care of her?”

“We’re her emotional support hybrids.”

The owner scoffed. “Very well, say I let you have her, where will you be taking her?”

“Home.”

“And where is that? Under a bridge?”

“We have a place.”

“And is it still standing? Do you have a means of providing for her? Food and other necessities. What about looking after her health? Her condition does require medication, and her injuries must be looked after with care. You said you’ve been traveling since this whole disaster started, she can’t just travel with all of you, so what is your plan here?”

“I… we…”

“We are not our predecessors. They handed over our kind to any human who could pay enough, not interested in the type of person they gave us too, or the plans they had for us, or if they were even capable of looking after us. We are not them. I can see she means a lot to you, I understand why she refused to let go of those plushies she has, but if you wish to look after her now, you need to prove that you can actually take care of her.”

“How exactly are we supposed to prove that?” Taehyun questioned.

“Right now many of us are in a state of rebuilding. Find yourselves a home, some stability, a way to continue your lives in a manner that can allow you to look after her and keep her safe. She’ll be here until then, I promise you that.”

♥♥♥♥♥

It was weird to walk out of that place without you. They had found you, and yet they couldn’t take you home. Then again they didn’t have a home. They hadn’t had one since they lost you. They were so close, and yet still so far.

“What do we do now?” 

“We go home.” Soobin said. 

“What? But-”

“We go home, and make sure we can actually look after y/n.”

Some wanted to argue, but considering how things just went down, they weren’t going to get to see you any time soon. It was a rather long journey home, but they made it nonetheless. The town they once called home was in ruins to a degree. They were fortunate enough to find the apartment building they had left behind in one piece. It wasn’t easy to get in as they had to move some ruble out of the way, but they got inside and went up to their old home. From the outside everything seemed okay, but there was only one way to know for sure. Soobin still had the key, and he was a bit shaky as he unlocked the door.

There was no light inside, electricity was cut off long ago. The sun was still out, so they had daylight to illuminate their path, and some flashlights. It was haunting to walk in there. Everything was still in its place, covered in dust, like time stopped. Yeonjun grabbed the note they had left behind in case you came back, crumbling it up in his hand. It had been so long since any of them had been back here, and it felt unfair to come back without you. Still, you weren’t lost in the world anymore, they just had to make this place a home again and they could all be reunited.

“Let’s get started.”

They got to cleaning, making the place feel like a home again. The rest of the building was abandoned, and soon enough they noticed clean up crews in the area. It really did appear that the world was rebuilding. Since no one else was around Soobin thought about taking over the building, getting it cleaned up properly and providing homes for those who needed it. He never imagined he’d wind up a building owner. It was kind of nice though, making friends with other hybrids. They had always stuck to themselves before when on the streets, and even when you adopted them they mostly stayed home. Before everything changed they were probably on the verge of a new chapter, but they took a detour.

About a week later things kinda felt like before. It was eerie to look out the window and see the world turning. The only difference was that the streets were occupied by hybrids and not humans. That was the only change. Everyone was kind, it was more of a community as they all helped each other out. They didn’t have to worry about food, or any other living necessities. Life felt like a dream, but it wasn’t complete, not yet. When the big day came everyone was giddy. Soobin was happy to see them all happy, but the big thing still had to be done. Yeonjun was also overjoyed to actually get to drive. Before it had been old junk cars, but this, this was a beauty.

“How long is the drive?” Kai asked.

“A couple of hours.” 

Beomgyu whined. “We’re gonna be gone all day?”

“We’ll be home by nighttime.” Soobin explained. “So don’t worry.”

A road trip was fun. Usually it was the things you did along the way, but they were excited for the destination. They could see how much things had changed, how the world had grown. Although they all got serious upon arriving at the care facility. It was still there, and as the promise went you’d still be there too. Soobin took charge, being the first one in. Things did look different, but he kept himself together, at least one of them had to.

“We’re here for y/n.”

“Hm… follow me.”

Soobin couldn’t imagine what you went through when adopting them. They just got taken to the vet and got their shots. Who knows what you did on the other end. This was probably the closest he’d get.

“How is she?”

“She’s been well, although after your last visit, and your actions, she’s needed some extra care. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

They were led back over to the room you had been in before. This time though they could see you were awake, sitting in the corner with a book in hand, your plushies in your lap.

“We’re not gonna get dragged out by security again, are we?” Taehyun questioned.

“No, but that depends on her. If she’s alright with you, then everything will be fine.”

This time they were allowed in. When the door opened you looked up, you were expecting a staff member but instead saw some familiar faces. Tears stung your eyes and you got up, rushing over to your boys. They met you halfway, pulling you into a hug.

“Are you really here?”

“Yes, yes we are.” Yeonjun assured. “And we’re gonna go home, for real.”

Yeonjun wiped away your tears, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. He helped you to your feet, giving you a piggyback ride. Beomgyu picked up your plushies following behind and played with them a bit. You hadn’t been outside of your room in so long, so it was a bit scary. You snuggled against Yeonjun, just holding on. If this was a dream you didn’t want to wake up. When you stepped outside the fresh air was nice and you took a deep breath.

“Pretty…”

“Just like you.”

Kai opened the back door of the car, getting in first and then helping you get in. Before Yeonjun could get in, Taehyun shoved his way inside, reminding him that he was the driver and wanting to sandwich you in. They each held one of your hands, Kai nuzzling your neck and making you giggle. Beomgyu hopped in after the others, Soobin doing a headcount, staring at you fondly for a while before shutting the door.

“Do you have everything?”

“Yes.” Soobin answered. “I’ll make sure she takes her medication, and we’ll keep a close eye on her injuries.”

“They’ve mainly healed by now, but still need care. The last thing to note is that you will need to bring her back for an evaluation.”

“I understand.”

“Then you can be on your way. Expect to hear from us in a few weeks.”

“Will do.”

Soobin got in the car, hearing your laughter. The two with you were tickling you, smiles on everyone’s face. This whole scene was different, but it was right. The journey home had a lot more happiness, but as night fell everyone in the back fell asleep. Now it was just Yeonjun and Soobin in the front.

“Is there anything I should know?” Yeonjun asked.

“About what?”

“Being y/n’s owners. The roles have changed for us.”

“Not entirely. We still look after each other, we’re just the ones responsible for her this time.”

“And that’s not a common thing. Hybrids having humans around.”

“Not yet, but I’m sure that’ll change. Not all humans were bad.”

“True.”

When they arrived back home the pair gently woke the others up, but they let you sleep. Soobin got you out of the car and carried you inside. Although as they got to the apartment you began to wake up. Seeing your home, it made everything else feel like a dream, and you had finally woken up.

“We… we’re home…”

“Yeah, we’re home.” Beomgyu kissed your cheek. “Finally.”

“Let’s get you to bed.” Taehyun smiled.

“No, I want to stay up.”

“You’re gonna mess up your sleep schedule if you stay up.” Yeonjun pet your head. “Besides, I’m sure we’re all tired from the trip.”

“Okay…”

You had a little pout, but let Soobin carry you over to the bedroom. He put you down and you crawled over to the center of the bed, snuggling the sheets. It all smelled like home, and it made you feel safe. One by one the others crawled into bed too, cuddling you and holding you close. You hadn’t noticed the silent tears on your face, but they did. Kai gently wiped them away, whispering soothing words that you were alright, and nothing bad was gonna happen again. Even if you wanted to stay up, you wound up easily falling asleep, surrounded by the warmth of your loved ones.

♥♥♥♥♥

Even if the boys were overjoyed to have you home, they found themselves having some trouble sleeping. They’d wake up randomly, seeing everyone else asleep, or maybe even catching another awake. Still, they returned to sleep, that is until Beomgyu woke up to discover you were missing.

“Y/n… y/n!”

His panic woke the others up, and they all quickly scrambled out of the bedroom, running around the house. When Taehyun found you by the window he called out to the others, going over to hug you from behind.

“There you are…”

“Hi.”

“Don’t scare us like that.”

“You were all sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Still.” Soobin said, coming over. “We were worried.”

“Sorry…”

“It’s okay. We’re all still here together.”

“What are you doing up?” Yeonjun asked. “Trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah… I didn’t see much before, but now… things have changed… it’s the same view, but it’s also not…”

“Things have changed.” Soobin agreed. “But we’re all together again.”

“Yeah…”

“Y/n.”

“Hm?”

“When… or if… you ever want to talk about what happened… we’re here for you.”

“What about you? What happened to you? That night… and the coming days are fuzzy…”

“Are you sure you want to talk about it now?”

“I want to know…”

Soobin pulled you close to him, holding your hand. Daylight was peeking over the horizon, slowly welcoming the new day.

“After that incident… we wound up arrested, mistaken for rioters. We cleared things up at the station and got directions to the hospital. Although when we got there there was security. They wouldn’t let us in your room… and we got arrested for real…”

“What happened at the hospital?” Taehyun asked. “Why couldn’t we see you?”

“I’m not so sure… I was given medication… I remember someone looking over my wounds… talking about revenge… that whole court scene… I don’t know what happened… but you’re okay right?”

“Yeah, of course.” Yeonjun assured. “We got separated from you and… the world changed, but we’ve been looking for you ever since.”

“You lived on the streets again?”

“We had to find you.”

“Hm…” You stared out the window. “I don’t know what happened to me… it’s all a blur… yelling and pain… talks of revenge and helping… none of it made sense… I didn’t know what was happening… or what was going to happen… but I was so worried about you…”

Tears started falling down your cheeks, and the boys gathered around to comfort you. Beomgyu wiped them away, kissing your head and assuring you everything was okay.

“We’re all okay now. This isn’t a dream.”

“Promise…”

“I promise.”

“I’m so sorry…” Soobin added. “If we hadn’t… we should have stayed home…”

“It’s not your fault.” You reached over to pet him. “What matters is we found each other again.”

“I’m sorry…”

“We’re here now.”

“I know…”

“How did you…” Taehyun mumbled. “The place we found you… how did you get there…”

“I’m not entirely sure… I was rescued from that hell… the hybrids were so nice… and we traveled together but… I know I wasn’t all there… and I knew I was holding them back…” You took a moment. “Where was I? The hybrids were nice…”

“It was a care facility.” Kai explained. “No idea who started it, but it’s a place where humans are looked after and safe.”

“Like an adoption center… things really got flipped around.”

“I don’t know much about adoption, but we’re gonna take good care of you.”

“I know you will. Shall I make breakfast?”

“I can do it!” Beomgyu volunteered.

“Let’s do it together.”

In a strange way things did go back to the way they were, although you no longer had a job. It was like your weekends had been extended indefinitely, but you didn’t have to worry about anything else. When you asked about it Soobin just told you it was his responsibility and not to concern yourself with it. To a degree it left you feeling a bit uneasy, but you had to trust him, and remind yourself how it was before. You never burdened them with your struggles of work, or made them worry about the roof over their heads. You figured it out and worked hard, now they were doing the same for you.

Now that you had more time on your hands you focused on some old hobbies. You got better at cooking, even tried your hand at pastries. The amount of flour you’d have to clean up was hilarious, and the boys certainly looked funny with it in their fur. Overall, everyone was happy, and that’s what mattered most. You could enjoy every day without a worry in the world. Although there were things you kept to yourself, or at least you thought you did. The boys were aware you had trouble sleeping, waking up from nightmares that you wouldn’t remember in the morning. It would probably be worse if you didn’t take your medication.

They had gotten used to waking up over your soft cries, pulling you into their arms and holding you close until you calmed down again. They’d never bring this up to you, wanting you to remain happy and healthy. Whenever you’d sleep in someone would stay with you too, making sure you weren’t alone. Everything was good, and because of that they had forgotten about an important event coming up. Well, the little ones seemed to have forgotten but it remained fresh in Soobin’s mind. Not to mention as the days went by he started to get concerned about it.

“Why don’t we go out today?” Kai asked. “To the park or-”

“I wanna stay home.” You chimed in. “Let’s have a movie night. We can be in a big cuddle pile.”

“That sounds great!”

No one seemed to notice at first, and Soobin wasn’t concerned either, but he soon realized there was a pattern going on.

“Y/n, what are we missing in the pantry?”

“Oh, I can make you a list.”

“You gonna come with us to the store?”

“I thought we had items delivered to us?”

“Yeah, but we want to go out today.” Beomgyu said. “You should come.”

“Uh… I’m good.” You smiled. “Just be safe, and hurry back.”

“Will do.” Taehyun cheered.

Yeonjun stuck back with you, chilling in a pillow pile on the floor with the TV on. You were mindlessly petting Yeonjun, humming to yourself.

“Y/n.”

“Hm?”

“Should we make plans for a little journey?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m curious to go to some places and see what they’ve become.”

“They’re probably all better, or gone.”

“But don’t you wanna go see?”

“I’m okay. I can see a lot from out the window.”

“You’re right. Just an idea.”

When the others came back you jumped out of your seat to help them, wanting to put all the items away and discuss dinner plans. Yeonjun stayed put, soon joined by Soobin.

“Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“Y/n hasn’t been out of the house since we brought her home.”

“I know.”

“Her evaluation is coming up.”

“I know.”

“I don’t think she’s gonna wanna go…”

“I think you’re right.” Soobin sighed. “We need to bring it up before the day of, and talk about this.”

“Any idea why she’s like this?”

“The last time she stepped outside she didn’t come home for months. I understand why she’s not eager to leave, for anything.”

“True.”

“We’ll talk to her tomorrow, so let the others know, but in secret.”

“Will do.”

Soobin was dreading this, alright imagining the worst case scenario. You probably weren’t going to be happy with the conversation, but it couldn’t be avoided forever.

“Morning, y/n.”

“Hi, Soobin…”

“You sleep okay?”

“Hm… yeah…” You snuggled against him. “You?”

“I always sleep well when I have you.”

“Me too.”

“It seems like a nice day, should we go out?”

“Nah… let’s have a lazy day.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Soobin took a breath. “Y/n.”

“Hm?”

“Your evaluation is coming up.”

“My what?”

“It’s your check up.”

“Oh, a doctor is gonna come here?”

“No. We need to take you back to the-”

“Take me back?” You got up. “Take me back where?”

“The care facility you were at so they-”

“Why?”

“For a check up. You-”

“Someone can just come here.”

“Y/n, I know you’re scared, trust me, I’ve been there, but everything’s going to be fine. We’ll leave in the morning and-”

“No.”

“No?”

“I don’t wanna go.”

“You have to. It’s impor-”

“I said no.”

You got out of bed and left the room, Soobin quickly chased after you. He grabbed your arm and pulled you back, although you fought against him.

“Let go!”

“Y/n, we need to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t want to go.”

“You have to.”

“You can’t make me!”

“Y/n, you haven’t been out of the house in weeks now.”

“I’m fine!”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am! And if I’m gonna go out it won’t be for some dumb check up!”

“It’s not dumb! You have a huge scar on your chest and you have trouble sleeping sometimes!”

“I… I do not…”

Soobin sighed. “Y/n, please. Everything-”

“No! I said no!”

“Y/n…”

The others had heard the commotion and came over to the hallway. They knew Soobin was gonna talk to you, but they hadn’t thought it would turn into shouting. Taehyun stepped towards you, taking your hand.

“None of us ever liked going to the vet, we were scared something would happen and we wouldn’t come back home with you… so we get you’re scared…”

“I’m not sick.”

“We know, but it’s still important to have a check up, and it’s more than just that…”

“A lot happened.” Beomgyu added. “We just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“But I-”

“I am not losing you again.” Soobin stated. “And if we don’t go for your eval, they’ll take you away.”

“… wa… what? Why?”

“Cause we have to be better.” Yeonjun said. “We have to be sure we can and have been taking good care of you.”

“But you are, I trust you and-”

“A lot has changed, remember? Humans may not have always been nice to our kind, but we won’t make them suffer the way we have.”

“So check ups… and all that… are mandatory…”

“Yes.”

“We’re all gonna go and come back.” Kai remarked. “It’ll be a road trip, and nothing bad is gonna happen. We promise.”

“You can’t promise that…”

“But I can promise that no matter what happens, we’ll be together.” Soobin pulled you towards him. “No one is ever going to separate us again, I promise, we promise. We love you.”

Soobin pulled you into a hug, the others soon joining in. They all surrounded you, making happy noises and making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You still had a lot of worries, but in times like this they reminded you that you still had them, you always would. You had each other, and nothing was going to change that, not even if the world changed around you.

“I love you all too.”

[saltymongoose]

Okay, I'm very curious. You don't have to write oneshots or headcanons for this, I just wanna know what you think about it. How do you think the Player would act with the other factions of Nevada that aren't the main cast? Vampires, Vindevice, N51, MERC, Nexus Core, Asylum Patients, Tuffs, ect? I'm so invested in how the Player would react to other factions and how they would interact with the Player.

Okay buckle up y'all cause this is def gonna be a long one, and I'm also splitting this up into two parts cause omg there are so many lol.

[This part includes: Vampires, Tuffs, VendeVice, the Asylum Patients, and PrivSec] [Part 2]

Beginning with the Vampires, it is likely that the Player would be very fascinated with them. There's little explanation surrounding their existence, save for the fact that they are undead and have some mechanical augmentations (their mouths and claws). Furthermore, their singular appearance in the Arena Mode story-line doesn't allow for much of an explanation of how their gang works either. Both of these could generate a lot of curiosity on the Player's part, which might lead them to try and get friendly with the less feral members, if possible. (Which will lead to some issues with the boys because the Vampires are dangerous. And also their jealousy, but that's a given.)

As for the Vamps themselves, their interactions with the Player would be colored by their hunger, more often than not. The Status Quo keeps all information about you wrapped up tight within their own organization, but that hasn't stopped them from hearing some inklings about this strange figure regardless. They don't know anything about the Player until you choose to reveal these details to them (or unless they interrogate someone about it with less-than-peaceful methods), so for now I can see them wondering mainly about what you taste like.

Grunts have specific pheromones and their blood can have different tastes depending on who they bite - and you seem like you'd be a very interesting flavor to experience. Or to go even further, a few of them are even curious about what would happen if you become like them. They can turn the dead with their bites, but what would your changes be when subject to their abilities? Would you be tempted to join them? These questions only become more common in their minds if you do decide to go out of your way to get closer to them. However, then they'll also be thinking about what music you like, if you're interested in the more alternative subcultures like the ones they're in, or how you'd look dressed in their style.

Overall, they're mostly bloodthirsty and feral (literally), but there is some potential for friendships among them if you can come across them when they're more chilled out. (Although, they do find themselves liking this weird warmth they feel around you when you're really close. Wonder what that's about.)

The Tuffs are the same in the department of really knowing little about the Player, but they're far more approachable at the same time. If money's involved, they'll get along with you just great, but if you want something deeper than that, you'll have to probe their interests to get a good handle on who they are. For you, this means showing an interest in their motorcycles and their way of carrying themselves, which admittedly goes a long way because most people only come to them if they need someone beaten up (or worse).

I get the feeling that the Tuffs can be rather soft once you break through their rough exterior, and seeing your genuine interest in them is more than enough to do that. They don't really care about how different you look compared to grunts, if you get really close with them, you'll be considered part of their gang. (They might even gift you one of their fancy jackets too, which is sweet.) There's also something weirdly comforting about being in your presence, but they aren't quite sure what exactly it is. It does wonders to make them more at ease around you though.

The VendeVice are an interesting case amongst the more unimportant groups in Nevada. They're more powerful, wealthy, and influential than the Tuffs and Vampires, and their close working relationship with the SQ during the Arena Mode means that they've almost certainly heard about the Player before. (It's not like those contacts between them wouldn't accidentally let anything slip at some point, despite 2BDamned's best efforts.)

The VendeVice function as a mob, which means that they'd have probably tried to find out more about the Player in order to protect their own operations. This new figure is another piece on the board that they have to consider, and if the SQ apparently believes they're a big deal, they have to get in good with them for their own sake.

The Player themselves is probably cautious around them because, y'know, mafia. At this point in time, it'd be impossible not to know just how dangerous mob organizations can be, so every interaction with the VendeVice is one done with practiced politeness. Similarly, this group has an underlying reason to reciprocate the Player's courtesy, but they will also go above and beyond to make you feel welcome in Nevada Central. If you end up becoming closer to the pinstripe-clad members somehow (most likely through being so close with Doc to begin with - an ally of theirs), expect VIP treatment at their clubs and venues, and the best selection of wine at their restaurants, free of charge. It's a relationship built on mutual caution, at least in the beginning.

The Asylum Patients evoke a lot of sympathy from the Player for obvious reasons, so they'll treat them very kindly. Taking them out of their uncomfortable strait jackets, treating their wounds, and just talking to them like they're actually living beings instead of "captives". It won't erase the abuse that was once done to the poor grunts, but at least they would know that someone cares for them.

I think that the Patients would definitely have an affinity for the Player as well, no doubt because of their kindness, but also because of who they are. Perhaps Nevada's response to the Player will make it so the Patients' own "voices" and delusions they hear prompt them to get closer for whatever reason, or maybe it's just their own mental state convincing them of the Player's trustworthiness, but they grow quite fond of them very quickly. Then there's also the fact that being around them lessens their aches and fills them with a comfortable warmth. They feel at home for once, when they're around the Player. So really, the relationship between them would be one of the better ones when it comes to Nevada's miscellaneous groups.

Finally, we'll end this section with PrivSec. The Private Security group has less of a reason to be aware of the Player than most, considering they're not within the same circles. They're a crime-fighting organization that might swipe a few goods from their benefactors every now and then, and their coming across the SQ's agents was more of a chance occurrence. (It's their job to hold down the law in Nevada Central, so of course they'd be there if a bank was robbed.)

The Player's first impression will probably be to stay out of their view, but they aren't worth worrying about as much as other groups. In fact, it's rather unlikely that they'll be coming across each other much to begin with, since Doc's very hellbent on keeping the Player away from most other organizations. Unless it's a matter of one of the firms PrivSec deals with, it's none of their concern.

From this, you'd assume they have no interest in the Player either, but you might be surprised. Rumors circulate quickly, so they have heard things about some new being that's assisting the SQ. And while there is some curiosity amongst PrivSec's members about what's happening, they don't have enough information to form anything conclusive. Unless the Player is involved in something relating directly to them, they probably won't get any concrete answers, so all that remains is their questions about it.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I'm just waiting for the Episode of Savanaclaw to show little Leona and the little lion getting his hopes and dreams crushed by everyone around him.

Also, this might sound weird but I always thought Leona and Dominique from The Case Study of Vanitas were kinda similar. Their both the youngest child of high-standing families and were viewed as inferior towards their older sibling(s) (In Dominique's case, 2 older half siblings and deceased older twin brother). But in the end, Dominique realised that her cryokinesis is actually way more powerful than even her older half siblings' because hers aren't violent like those of her half-siblings.

Now, I'm not saying Leona's parents are abusive/cruel (though it could be a possibility) and told Leona "You're brother can already do this, why can't you?" or "Falena's already unlocked his Unique Magic, why're you so slow?" (that's the servants' job) but it wouldn't surprise me if they did accidentally said something insensitive (or Leona misinterpreted what they were really trying to say) to Leona that crushed his already crippling self-esteem issues.

Maybe Leona tried to tell his parents how badly he wanted to be king and they said something along the lines of "You're brother's already going to be the king, so stop whining. You've been given everything you wanted." or "Falena's going be the next king and you can't change that." And maybe that finally caused him to snap and start being apathetic towards everything.

Again, this is just a theory I have and it may not happen. Hell, I probably got a few things wrong about Leona's character and backstory.

I’ve only read like one volume of The Case Study of Vanitas I won it in a raffle haha and I don’t know if I’ll continue reading it so 😅 not sure if I 100% get all the details about Dominique and how she parallels Leona. I like Vanitas x Jeanne only because Jeanne hates his guts while Vanitas simps for her and it’s so funny—

Personally, I've never thought of Leona's parents as playing a particularly significant role in his trauma (mainly because the game never showed either of them in his flashback, nor did it indicate the parents as being the center or the “trigger” that made Leona lose hope in himself). The focus of the flashback was on servants and Farena/Falena. The other boys' OB flashbacks also obviously feature major sources for their trauma such as Mama Rosehearts, Azul's bullies, the Viper parents, etc. so if Leona’s parents did play a big role in him being the way he is, it’s strange that they didn’t show up in his flashback.

Leona's parents are barely even mentioned; I only ever recall one instance where it was said that his dad is ill enough to the point where he cannot lead their country, thus Farena/Falena has to act as king. There is no mention of Leona's mother as far as I can tell, and neither parent has been really characterized. Maybe they'll actually get mentioned in the manga adaptation's telling of Leona's flashback?

I don’t doubt that maybe the parents may have said a few insensitive things here and there offhandedly (because everyone naturally makes missteps), but I don’t know about outright telling Leona to “stop whining” or “why are you so slow”. That’s just… very blatantly rude to tell anyone, let alone your own child. I’m not saying it’s not possible for a parent to say such a thing, but I think it’s a bit of a leap in logic to suggest that parents we barely know about would.

I totally buy that Leona would get pissed off and lash out at his parents for misinterpretations on his part though. When his self esteem is already low and he believes the world is against him, it’ll skew his perception of others’ words and actions as negative too. We most clearly see this exemplified when Leona acts bitter towards Farena/Falena, in spite of his older brother showing actually showing Leona a lot of genuine support. I’m more inclined to believe that the parents were also pretty supportive and well-meaning (if Farena/Falena is of any indication), but that Leona interpreted their good will as pity and/or backhanded compliments, or that they could never understand his plight. I’d at least like to think they were a little more tactful/wise with their wording rather than sound annoyed every time Leona expressed a grievance 😔 Alternatively, the parents were probably just never around much due to royal duties, so maybe Leona felt like he never got that social support from their end.

The nature of Leona’s struggle is also something that’s generally seen as more cumulative, rather than there being a single turning point that made him give up on trying. I don’t think you can really point at any singular instance and say, “yes, this part of his past is what made him ‘snap’.” It’s the constant rejection and being beat down by the world and the people he’s trying to get validation from that wears away at his spirit.

[tea-and-spoons]

hi we're really sorry to bother you but we're really sort of desperate for advice?

so we have a vague cardiovascular condition that seems to be affecting our legs a whole lot. so we get really intense pain in the lower halves of both our legs. rest helps, of course, but its slow and we wont always be in a scenario where we'll be able to rest, yk? so we've been looking in to mobility aids because we kinda like the idea of being able to walk around outside without being in terrible pain /lh

but we've kind of got a few issues with it, being mainly: a) what. do we get. we're looking towards wheelchairs because the sitting will be good for the legs and also the hypertension. we do get a decent amount of activity in to avoid aggravating it (being. we pace around at home A Lot lol)

b) how do we get any kind of mobility aid without our parents knowing. our mother is the type to not really take us seriously at all regarding our health

and c) how to deal with the whole "erm. [xyz] = you cant get a mobility aid". for us its a whole fear that we're the cause of our own physical issues and therefore we arent Allowed to get a mobility aid cause that'd be. "stupid" ig, despite the fact thats a pretty fucking dumb line of reasoning. not like they'll stop making fucking. walkers if we buy one or whatever lol

sorry for the long ask, we're just kinda. desperate lol. and your blog seems nice (though totally no pressure to respond of course lol)

hope your day's going well :)

Hello hello, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer you! I hope things have been going okay in the meantime. I also support the idea of being able to walk around outside without terrible pain! Here's what I'm thinking that may help you get a mobility aid:

There are a few places where you can try out different mobility aids to see what you like- pharmacy, medical supply store, even the grocery store should have some scooters and possibly canes in the medical aisle. Nobody should question this, but if they do, you could tell them you're checking the height to see if it works, or shopping for your grandparent.

On a related note, try to make sure that your mobility aid isn't causing you to hunch forwards. If it is, you either need to make it taller, or you need to stay leaning on the backrest while you push a wheelchair.

If you find something you like at one of those stores, great! You might also find a secondhand version for cheaper online. I think you can have things shipped to the post office to pick up there.

Especially if you're not using the mobility aid around the house, I'm wondering about keeping it in your car or locker or a closet at work- whatever applies to you.

I will just put this out there- I obviously don't know your situation, but some people do change their minds about mobility aids when they see how much your quality of life improves.

Honestly I love your response of "it's not like they're going to stop making walkers"! Your physical issues are not your fault, and looking to reduce pain is a good goal. Even if it was your fault, you still deserve to feel better. Mobility aids are for anyone who benefits from them.

Good luck with everything! 💙

[uboat53]

I haven't commented much or directly on the current conflict between Israel and Hamas. There are reasons for that, but they're fairly complicated, so I think it's best to do so in the form of one of my LONG RANTS (TM).

WHY I HATE TALKING ABOUT THIS

Honestly, it's depressing. This has happened before, it'll happen again. Israel and Hamas will fight each other, most of the dead will be civilians, a disturbing amount of them will be children, and then things will get quiet again for a time until the next blow up during which only single-digits' worth of civilians will be killed each day instead of triple. No one thinks any of this will change and, in the meantime, it will dominate news coverage that could instead be going toward something where public information might actually make a difference.

I should note that I'm not trying to minimize the consequences of this conflict, but isn't everyone else also tired of watching death and destruction that accomplishes nothing? It's like watching an abusive couple that never seems to split up. Everyone is just waiting for the current violence to end, but no one seems to have any interest in making sure it's the last outbreak of violence.

So, as much as I hate talking about it, let's talk about it.

THE CURRENT OUTBREAK OF VIOLENCE

The current outbreak of violence began when Hamas staged a particularly devastating attack across the border from Gaza into Israel proper. Numbers are still coming in, but it appears that well over a thousand Israelis were killed and a few hundred captured and taken back to Gaza. The amount of death is bad, but it also represents a particular failure of Israeli intelligence and their military which failed to see the attack coming or do anything significant to stop it.

Since that time, Israel has been shelling Gaza. Numbers are still coming in with regards to that action as well, but it appears that over 5,000 Gazans have died so far continuing the usual pattern of far more Palestinian deaths than Israeli in any given conflict. There are rumors of a possible Israeli ground incursion into Gaza, but it remains to be seen if Israel can pull that out without massive civilian casualties, massive casualties of their own soldiers, or both.

Whatever happens, the most likely outcome is that both sides declare some form of victory, the shooting stops for the moment, and we go back to a situation which will inevitably result in the next outbreak of violence. Exactly what's happened in every previous outbreak of violence.

THE CAUSE OF VIOLENCE

No one who studies the situation is at all confused about what is causing the violence. Every nation has an original sin, Israel's original sin is the mass expulsion of Palestinians in the conflict that followed the creation of Israel and Palestine in 1948. Yes, it's far more complicated than just "Jews kicked non-Jews out" and, yes, that simplification actually is good enough to get a basic understanding of the issue.

(Lest people think I'm picking on Israel here, I live in a country that's "lucky" enough to have two original sins. We Americans managed to both enslave millions of Africans in a horrifying form of chattel slavery AND commit physical and cultural genocide against our indigenous population. Go USA?)

Since that time, Israel has also captured three territories from neighboring nations (the reason you don't hear much about the Golan Heights is that it barely has a population and is mainly just a strategic high ground between Israel and Syria), annexed them, and begun to settle them with hundreds of thousands of Jews, displacing the existing population in violation of international law.

At this moment, there are about 7 million Jews and 7 million non-Jews living in territories controlled by Israel. Most of the non-Jews have very few, if any, rights under Israeli control and this creates a breeding ground for violent opposition.

PEACE

Actual peace would require that Israelis and Palestinians both live under a situation that provides them with basic rights and liberties. Given this, it's pretty much always been clear that there are only two ways that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict can end peacefully. Either Israel and Palestine will become two separate states or all people currently living in Israeli controlled territory will become Israelis under a truly representative government.

The reason that neither of these has happened yet is fairly simple, the Israeli right-wing and particularly the settler movement, will not tolerate either one. They demand that all the territory attributed to the 12 tribes of Israel must be under Jewish control. (Note that this desire will eventually require war with Jordan as the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and Manasseh controlled the territory on the East Bank of the Jordan River, but that's for another time.) Separating Israel and Palestine would require giving up at least some of that territory and combining all peoples would result in a state that was basically no longer majority Jewish.

The problem is that the only other options are war crimes or crimes against humanity. The status-quo is increasingly (and accurately, in my opinion) being called Apartheid under the United Nations definition and, as far as I can tell, the only options other than separation or unification are mass expulsion or mass extermination.

PALESTINIANS

You'll note I haven't talked a lot about Palestinians in general or Hamas in particular here. That's because, from a high-level view of the conflict, they don't really matter.

Even Hamas' latest attack, brutal though it was, hasn't changed the situation in the slightest. Even if Israel had completely refrained from any sort of counterstrike, it would still control virtually every aspect of the lives of Palestinians in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. Likewise, even if every single Palestinian laid down every weapon today and committed to never pursuing violence again, it would not fundamentally change the main facts at issue.

At this point, Israel is overwhelmingly powerful compared to Palestine. It controls every legal, political, and military aspect of the interaction between the two sides and any changes in the current situation will rely almost entirely on what Israel chooses to do.

THE JEWISH ANGLE

I also haven't spoken much about religion in all of this. As many of you may know, I am Jewish (hello to those who don't) myself. More and more, I think the notion of Israel as a state representative of Judaism is no longer accurate. Instead, I think it largely seems to represent two other groups these days.

To explain the first group, I need to get a little "inside Judaism". I'm sure it will shock no one to know that Jews talk quite a bit about the Holocaust. In the last decade or so, I've noticed more and more, though, that there are really two different groups when we talk about it. The first group of Jews are the ones you've probably seen before, the "Never Again" crowd (I count myself in this one). This group of Jews believes that the Holocaust was wrong because genocide is wrong and we work to ensure that genocide becomes a thing of the past that will never happen to any group of people again.

The other group, though, believes that the Holocaust was wrong because it happened to the Jews. If you think for a moment about the difference between those two statements, you'll see that these are two very different groups with two very different sets of ideas in terms of their applications to the world. This is a bit anecdotal, but matches with conversations I've had with and comments I've seen from numerous other Jews in that time. It seems very much that Israel under Netanyahu, who has been Prime Minister for 13 of the last 14 years, has been representing the latter group under increasingly extreme governments.

The second group is not Jewish at all, it's American Evangelical Christians. This group believes that the Jewish people need to control the entirety of historical Israel in order to bring about the end times and have put extraordinary amounts of time, energy, and, most importantly, money behind that project. This has bought them enormous influence in Israel, perhaps even more than many Jewish groups, and they're a huge part of Prime Minister Netanyahu's political operation. Needless to say, they don't necessarily have the good of the Jewish people in mind when doing this, if you're familiar with the prophecies of Revelations you'll know that it does not end well for us.

So, is Israel really the Jewish state? To me it seems less and less true as time goes on. To me it looks more and more like it only represents a specific faction of Jews who are backed up by an increasingly domineering non-Jewish behemoth.

CONCLUSION

So yeah, this seems more and more depressing to me the more I look at it. Civilians are being killed in huge numbers by both sides in a war that no one seems to have any desire to actually end and a country that claims to represent a moral system that I identify with has come under the sway of one of its most extreme factions and their non-Jewish backers.

If you've got anything that could brighten my mood on the issue, I'd appreciate it. In the meantime, here's a clear statement of my position: Both sides are committing abhorrent violence and I do not support either of them. I support the civilians who are being attacked recklessly by both sides and encourage you to support organizations that focus on protecting and healing them throughout what is likely to continue to be a bloody conflict.

[theblindgoddess]

Batman au where everything is the same, except Bruce is a woman instead of a man.

Her name is Beatrice.

Her personality is exactly the same.

She’s still 6′ something and built like a tank.

Her superhero name is still Batman.

She was originally just going to go by The Bat, but then the media started calling her Batman, and she just rolled with it. Adds an extra layer of protection for her secret identity.

Some extra points that I find important

After the media dubs her ‘The Batman’, Bea spends hours gargling gravel in random closets in the manor to perfect her ‘manly Batman growly voice’ as she calls it. Her crime fighting identity is now male, and while she doesn’t speak much in the early days, when the time comes that she will need to speak she might as well have a voice that matches the name. She’s not going to do this halfway.

Bea has been diagnosed with OCD and is either somewhere on the autism spectrum or has ADHD, she stopped going to the psychiatrist before they could figure out which one. (Not that different from cannon, but it was important to me to mention it.)

While most of the Justice League only finds out Batman is a woman when she reveals her identity to them on her own terms, Wounder Woman can recognize a fellow warrior women almost on sight. She pulls Batman aside privately later to explain that she knows, and states that while she doesn’t understand why she is keeping her gender hidden from the others she will respect her decision to do so. They have girls nights twice a month.

When 12-year-old Jason Todd finds out that Batman is a woman after getting caught trying to steal her tires, his immediate response is to inform Bea that his respect for Batman has just increased immensely. Jason is very proud to have a new mom who could probably bench Superman.

While Bea enjoys wearing dresses, she mainly wears suits, pants, and traditionally ‘male’ clothing. Her reasons behind this being that it can be very hard to find dresses that fit her with out having them custom made, and while that's barely a hindrance with how much money she has, she also thinks that she just generally doesn’t look flattering in most dresses because of her build.

Branching off the last point, Bea had some major body image issues in her teenage years. While she wasn’t as huge back then, she still had a fair amount of muscle mass from being incredibly active in a few different sports and with helping Alfred take care of the manor wherever it was needed. She has also always preferred close cropped hair to longer styles that would just get in the way and annoy her. Because of these things she always looked more masculine and never fit the ‘ideal’ look for woman. The inadequate feelings caused by that were made worse because she felt like she didn’t know how to be a woman. While Leslie Tompkins was a great older female presence in Bea’s life, Leslie couldn’t be a constant presence. And while Alfred tried his best - and passed with flying colours and unflappable determination in most areas - he was still a man and just couldn’t understand somethings about womanhood no matter how hard he tried. Bea kept all of these negative thoughts and feelings about herself bottled up inside of her like the emotionally constipated person she is until one day everything bubbled over with explosive force and disastrous consequences. It was a bad few months for both her and Alfred after that incident. Alfred still feels guilty for not noticing the signs sooner. As an adult Bea has become one of the biggest advocates for healthy body positivity and mental health. She still deals with those thoughts and feelings, though not to the same extent and she recognizes that the majority of them stem from her OCD. She has copping mechanisms set up to help handle these thoughts and feelings and will almost always go talk to Alfred when any of her emotions become to much and she starts to drown in them. (One notable exception to the ‘always go talk to Alfred when everything gets to much’ rule was after Jason’s death.)

All of the few dresses and skirts that Bea owns are ankle or floor length and show very little skin. She just doesn’t feel comfortable having a lot of skin showing, to her it feels like an invasion of her privacy for anyone other then the people she trusts most in the world to see more skin then just what is generally visible while wearing a t-shirt and shorts that cover the knees. Tight fitting clothing gives her a similar feeling of discomfort, so if the outfit is more form fitting it has to be covering her ankles and wrists, but if it shows skin it has to be on the looser side. Everyone who is close to her understands this fact, and it has caused problems with injuries on the field of battle before. (Whenever one of her kids thinks that they have lost her trust they are very surprised when they are proven wrong the next time Bea gets hurt in battle with them and she lets them treat her injuries. Jason cries every time at this show of trust when it’s directed at him. Sometimes when Bea knows she’s messed up with one of her kids and doesn’t know how to fix it, she’ll go on patrol with them and get hurt on purpose just to let them know she still loves them and still trusts them even if she can’t say it. Alfred, Cass, and Tim are the only ones to have caught on to this behaviour yet, but Damian is suspicious and very close to figuring it out.)

Damian is still her biological kid, Talia is still his other parent, and Bea still had no idea of his existence for the first 9-ish years of his life. Haven’t figured out how that works exactly yet, if anyone has any suggestions I’m all ears.

Bea has less of a ‘sleeps around’ reputation then her cannon male counterpart mainly because most of Gotham high society is intimidated by pretty strong lady who could probably crush like a grape if she really wanted to and they have no idea how to handle it because there is no precedent for something like this. The last time Gotham high society had to deal with a woman even remotely as huge as Bea was in the mid to late 1800s with one of her ancestors. (Who was also named Beatrice and who is considered to be the first great Matriarch of the Wayne family as it is agreed upon by most historians that the Wayne name and business are as powerful and influential as they are today because of many of her actions and choices.) There have been plenty of tall and muscular women in Gotham high society, but Bea is just so huge that they just don’t know the proper and polite way to approach her. Would it be insensitive to bring up her size in casual conversation? This inability for the socialites to figure out how to talk to Bea about anything other than business is not helped by the airhead persona Bea puts of in public. She doesn’t mind though, people are hard to talk to, the less people that she has to mindlessly chat with the better. The majority of those Gotham socialites that aren’t intimidated by her size will mainly approach her for a relationship for either fame, money, or purely for sexual desires. Bea doesn’t want an intimate relationship with someone unless it’s going to be a serious one and with someone who cares for her and wants the relationship because of her and not what she could give them, and after the forth potential partner approached her purely to increase their standing in high society and for some fun in the sheets, she decided that it was not worth the damage her self worth would take for whatever extra secret identity protection being an airhead who also likes to sleep around might give her.

The whole ‘Batman is a dude but Beatrice Wayne is a girl’ thing did throw Tim for a bit when he figured out Robin’s identity. As far as 9-year-old Tim could tell, the only man who was a part of Dick Grayson’s life was Alfred, and Alfred looks nothing like Batman. It didn’t stall him for long though, because once he realized Batman and Bea had the exact same body type it wasn’t that far of a stretch to assume that Bea chose the name Batman as a way to hide her secret identity more, and he admits that it’s a smart idea. (Later when Tim takes up the superhero identity of Red Robin, he carefully crafts his costume to make him appear more feminine for the exact same reason. The flame wars on the internet over what Red Robin’s gender is are absolutely legendary, no one can say that they are one hundred percent certain as to what this vigilante’s gender might be)

Whenever someone finds out that Batman is indeed, in fact, a woman, they completely loose their minds. Some of them are in complete disbelief until it has been proven to them without a shadow of a doubt that Batman is in fact female. Some look deep inside of themselves and ask “how did I not figure it out?”. Others, mainly the non human/not raised in human society and culture ones (and John Constantine), go “ok, thank you for trusting me with this clearly very personal to you information” and move on with their lives.

A small handful of villains, both big bosses and small time henchmen, have figured out that Batman is a woman. Lex Luther pieced it together because he’s smart and is willing to accept the idea of women who are tanks unlike other smart villainous men who despite all the extensive evidence they have collected clearly pointing to at least the possibility that Beatrice Wayne is Batman refuse to entertain the idea simple because Bea is a woman and Batman has man in his name. (Lex’s right hand man is a very capable woman named Mercy, after all. He may treat most other people on this planet like they are beneath him, but he will never treat one gender as less then the others.) The majority of bad guys who know that Batman is a women don’t know her secret identity, and only realized Batman is a women because they were in a fight where someone got in a lucky shot at the Dark Knight, making him down for the count, and instead of whichever one of his army of children was with him in that fight got worried, but instead of calling out ‘dad’ before beating the stuffing out of all the collective bad guy force, they screamed ‘mom’ before beating the stuffing out of the collective bad guy force.

Selina Kyle found out that Batman is a woman one night a few years into both of their nightly careers. As Catwoman, she saw Batman sitting on the edge of a building looking even more broody then usual and offered to be a listening ear for Batman to rant to if he wanted. Batman, having had a crappy week, happily agreed, and given the strange nature of their relationship figured that it was only a matter of time before Catwoman found out her identity, completely dropped the ‘manly Batman growly voice’ and proceeded to rant about some gold digger who wasn’t taking no for an answer and who was starting to take it to far and about some  board member she was to deal with who keeps disregarding her and brushing her off when she tries to give her input into the inner workings of her own company, and the only reason this week hasn't fallen into her top 10 worst weeks of her life is because all of the pain resistance training that she endured before she let herself become Gotham’s protector that is making her period cramps manageable. Selina listens as she said she would and has a slowly building existential crisis because, holy crap, Batman is a woman, and not only that, but she’s giving out info that could probably easily link Batman to her secret identity, and is Batman actually trusting Catwoman, one of her more infamous rouges, with her secret identity?! After her hour long rant, Batman turns to look at Catwoman asking if she might have any advice, to find that Catwoman has done the mental equivalent of blue screening while trying to process all of this. They soon become kinda friends after this and Selina joins Bea and Diana on their bi-monthly girls nights. (Or Diana joins Bea and Selina on their bi-monthly girls nights, depends on if Selina and Bea become friends before or after the Justice League forms. Pick which one you like better.

Batman still has a bit of a reputation for ‘being involved’ with some villains.

When it comes time for Bea to give the puberty talk to any of the boys she’s raising, she freaks out. No mater how many books she reads, how many experts she consults, how many times she’s done this in the past, she still convinced that she’s gonna mess it up and misinform one of her boys on something very important when it comes to their biology and development that will have long lasting and horrible repercussions all because she doesn’t have personal experience in this area. Alfred helps out to keep Bea from having a panic attack, because in all honesty Bea would do just fine on her own for this parenthood milestone, the only thing that would negatively effect the situation, and therefore the outcome, is Bea having a panic attack. When it’s time to give Cass the puberty talk Bea breaths a huge sigh of relief because, finally!, she has personal experience with female puberty.

As a bit of a joke, Dick would give Bea presents for both mother’s day and father’s day, because while Bea may be a mother, Batman is, technically speaking in the eyes of most of the world, a father. This habit spread to Jason who would always try to one up the presents Dick would give Bea out of spite that Dick was kind of of jerk. When Tim joined the family and saw Dick giving Bea presents on both days, he just assumed that that’s what your supposed to do because his parents were never around for father’s day or mother’s day. After that the tradition just kind of stuck to the Wayne family, and they all give presents to multiple important parental figures on both holidays. ( It takes Tim years to realize that that is, in fact, not how everyone does things, but is in fact just a thing they do. He is very shocked.)

That’s all I have for now. If anyone else has any ideas they would like to add, please do!

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: SCP 1678 (Unlondon) x Reader (REQUESTED)

Source: Photo

SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Rules | My Original Post | Request | Socials

Requested by: @lilithisfurry

Ok, so I've done it!!! 😃

Before any of you say a thing, I know that there are 2 humanoid 1678s which are 1678-A (Bobbies/Policeman) and 1678-C (Wretch) and an avian type one (1678-B)

The one I'll be using is 1678-A (Policeman) because it takes too much time to write 3 versions of this SCP (But I might consider writing the other 2, but it's highly unlikely)

First Encounter

When you first met this humanoid, you were sent into SCP 1678 for some test

The police humanoid emitted a loud whistle as the speakers screamed ‘‘Police! Halt, criminal!’’

A couple of others who were with you attempted to shoot them with their guns but were quickly shown to be resistant

Luckily for them, they managed to plant some explosives which caused damage

The other 1678-As went in and attacked them which wasn't unusual because of their hostile nature

However, for you, one of them managed to capture you and ran

For some reason, it showed some interest towards you and warded off the other SCP 1678-As off from you

They seemed to understand that you were "marked" and left you alone

That particular 1678-A managed to get you out from harm and back to your foundation

The foundation staff did wonder what had happened and you told them everything with proof since you were wearing a bodycam

They've soon noticed that this particular policeman was softer towards you as you bandaged up its broken arm

Your feelings for him

After the incident, you were sent back down into 1678 for further research and you bumped back into the sane 1678-A

You only remembered that it was him because of its gesture and its unusual markings which distinguished him from the others

Somehow, you both were able to communicate with each other

The researchers realised that they seemed to understand human speech, mainly English, however, they seemed to understand other forms of European languages as well

Moreover, this particular Bobby also understood sign language and used it to his advantage to communicate with you, displaying some fondness for you

The researchers were reluctant to let you carry on with this test as they've noticed that you've reciprocated the same gesture

Let's just say that the researchers and the other Bobbies agreed to the fact that it was strange for you and that special policeman to be dating

His Confession

Over time, as you both became closer, he worked up the courage to sign to you that he cares a lot about you

And you've found that rather cute and returned the gesture

Which then made you both a rather unique type of couple

The other 1678-As were concerned and curious about this new relationship and so was the Foundation

The researchers had decided to borrow your newfound partner and took him to his new room (No, you've basically kidnapped him)

Needless to say, the other Bobbies were somewhat furious while others were glad that he's gone since he betrayed them for not killing you

Your new partner was somewhat homesick, so you've decided to paint some victorian style art for his cell

Date

From time to time, you both were shoved back into 1678 which just so happens to be the main place for you both to date

Some of his friends were relieved to see him and some would even offer you a hug

You obviously returned the gesture for being so flattering and because your man could finally get laid (NGL yall still be touch starved to the point you'd even date strange beings and objects)

Dates with this Bobby would be rather interesting

Like, he'd hold hands, but probably wouldn't start it during the beginning of the relationship because he's just shy (Just like everybody else here)

Since his face is all bandaged up, you wouldn't really be having many kisses

But he'll make it up with hugs instead

His fellow friends would probably enjoy bothering the both of you while you're there and would pull pranks on you both

If you both were in the foundation, you'd be chilling in his cell and talking bout your experiences in life (Not like you'd have much to say, get back to studying/work)

The researchers may poke fun of you both but would generally leave you both alone

When he gets jealous

Now, depending on who he's jealous of, he would react differently

If it was another fellow 1678-A, he would be slightly hostile and assert his dominance over the others

However, if it was a member of the foundation or anyone else that's not 1678-A for that matter, he'd be even more aggressive and would probably try and kill them

Unless you manage to stop him then it's fine

This Bobby would be slightly possessive because you're the only other person who genuinely cares about him other than his 1678 friends/family

If he sees you having a friendly chat with another person/SCP, he would wrap an arm around you just so the other person knows you're taken

I think over time he learns some boundaries so even if he is aggressive, he wouldn't just automatically send the dude you're with to hell

Unless that person is a crappy person then good for them

Yandere!1678-A

This yandere right here would literally kidnap you and take you back into 1678

He'd make sure that you would never find a way back into the foundation which does concern the researchers, so they send a group of D-classes and MTFs to find you

If he was feeling nice, he would let you wander around 1678 but he would most likely be next to or near you at all times

If he was having a bad day, he would tie you up in a random building and made sure that nobody can get in or out

Would most likely be even more hostile to everybody else around you

If you haven't behaved, he'd probs use something sharp to inflict pain on you

If you managed to behave, then he loosens the ropes around your arms, legs and neck

Probs would feed you tiny doses of 1678-D but only a bit because he's aware of how that affects the bodies of ordinary humans

Their younger sister

You and the other 1678-As would literally be families at this point or friends with the ones who are lurking away from the main area of 1678

And since you were rather new, you were treated as the younger one (That's also because you're the youngest one)

Would probably protect you from everything

You would be spoilt to death and wouldn't have to hurt a fly

One of the policemen would get you a 1678-B as your personal pet

And it's rather fond of you so it basically follows you around

Would most likely intimidate your dates if you have one

Even more so if they're a human/SCP from the Foundation

If it was another member of 1678 then they're more chill

However, if you were dating 1678-C, they'd be quite reluctant for you to be in a relationship with her but would let you anyways

When their kids say their name for the first time

Would 100% be crying internally and shocked

Like, it happened out of the blue since you both were just relaxing

Word would spread across the whole of 1678 because of this

And not because you both were a unique pairing in the first place

1678-A would try to teach your child some sign language in contrast to you who would teach them to communicate verbally

Most likely try and teach the kid to defend themselves and probably attack others

But you wouldn't let him because they were too young (Just like you lot!!! Shouldn't y'all be studying in primary or high/secondary schools?)

The other 1678s would literally yeet their way to meet the kid just so they can teach your child to say more words

And to swear of course

When his S/O is angry

Oh dear

If the foundation doesn't know any better, they'd just assume that all the Bobbies were the aggressive ones

And oh boy were they wrong

You were the one who needs a chill pill

Basically, some guy tried to hit on you and wouldn't stop

So you just casually gave him a taste in his own medicine

Which were a punch in the face and a kick in the nuts (Kids, don't do this to a guy unless he really deserves it)

He somehow got back up and carried on harassing you

Your man was just strolling around the park until he saw the commotion

He had to literally hold you back and made the guy run for his life

Which was a shocker since it's usually the other way around

And of course, everybody inside 1678 heard about the news and cheered on for you while others just ran since they didn't wanna have the first-hand experience with your anger issue

When someone tries to steal you away

Oh this man right here would gather all his police friends as well as the birds to hunt down whoever stole you away

He would be furious to the core and rightfully so

The foundation was informed of this and they didn't blame this SCP

And that's because the person who stole you was from the Chaos Insurgency

Both GOIs hated each other's guts so the foundation just kinda let 1678-A hunt down the guy

And he did along with the MTFs

But was met with you standing over the guy's dead body

Then everybody realised that your man taught you how to protect yourself

And you did it so perfectly that even 1678 was intimidated af

Nobody wanted to mess with you and your partner was relieved that he taught you self defence

When his pregnant!S/O gets hurt by accident

This particular 1678-A that just so happens to be your partner, is rather shy and introverted

Nad although he does his 'job' well, he would rather just stay away from any contact

Until he met you and you became pregnant

This 1678-A would be slightly more protective but would let you have some space

And because of this, you managed to give yourself a papercut

Which was met with a furious policeman

But was cooled down when you explained your injury to him

He was giving you a huge lecture about your safety and how not to get hurt because you're carrying his baby

Wouldn't leave you alone ever again

Even if that means he would have to sit by the corner at all times

Would send his mates to come over to check on you if he wasn't there

Meeting a dragon hybrid child fem!reader

Definitely would be curious about you since they mostly interact with Foundation staffs

Probably would try to attack you but instead got burnt

1678-A would definitely notice your strange appearance and that you cry lava

Would feel bad so he'd try and comfort you

This then leads to you both being rather attached to each other

This particular 1678-A would have to bribe the others to keep you

The foundation realising this would happen

Probably would let you stay there for research purposes

They would most likely help level up your telekineses

Treats you like their own child and would be extremely protective

Most likely would have a heart attack every time you show kindness towards foundation members instead of attacking them

Every time you're in danger, the ones attacking you would soon realise that they've screwed up

Because the SCPs can hear you cry which would summon a whole bunch of them

When he accidentally kills you

He was basically chilling with you until some MTF members arrived to take some samples for testing

They were attacked by the other 1678-As and retaliated

This chill guy would lead you to safety before attacking the remaining MTFs

You realising what has happened decided to try and help out

You noticed that one of the MTF members were about to shoot your guy and managed to throw the gun out of his hand

1678-A notices and tries to attack the member but instead killed you

The remaining MTF members flee as he mourns your death

He would be even more vengeful and aggressive to the foundation members

Which does scare off the other Bobbies

Stayed in one of the abandoned houses to cry alone

Yandere!1678 - A x Evil!Reader

I'd say aside from his yandere self and the fact that he's only more aggressive to everyone else aside from you and giving you some scars, he's pretty dense and thicc in the brain

Probably wouldn't notice that you were working on them for a project in the GOC

You were able to get away with a lot of things because of your small stature and innocent appearance

Definitely managed to fool this yandere!1678-A because of your appearance

You could be just as vicious when you want to be

Yandere!1678-A soon realises that you were just using him for some experiment and were angered to the point of no return

Would most likely try and hunt you down

But since you've already got enough information about this SCP, you were able to devise a plan to leave

Manages to catch up to you but you were fortunate enough to know enough self-defence tactics to ward him off

You never came back to him and he was depressed for all of eternity

Trying McDonald's Sprite

You were requested to bring some ordinary food to 1678 as a test

And you've decided that you wanted to bring some Sprite with some Apple pie, mozzarella dippers and pancakes (They're my soul food from Mackies ok? Don't judge)

When you arrived in 1678, that one particular policeman who is attached to you for some odd reason was curious about the food

Of course, he would need to take off the bandage on his head to taste the food but not before some bribery from you

He reminisced about the food since he loved eating them before he turned into 1678-A

Sprite, however, was slightly different

He never tried them and was surprised with how good they tasted

Most likely would ask you to get more for him though

Foundation staff would be rather conflicted but allowed you to reward him with Sprite and some food

Only whenever he behaved well though

When his kid swears at him

You should've seen the look on his face (oh the irony)

You both taught your kid verbal and non-verbal communications with some common sentences people would say

But never have either of you taught your kid how to swear

Kinda just happened and 1678-A was about to go into cardiac arrest (Pun intended)

Would hunt down whoever taught them that depending on the severity

Like if the kid was using a ton of swearing in a sentence and was directing it to either of you, 1678-A would kill the guy

You were more of a chill type of parent

But would recommend the kid to stop swearing sine it's rude

Most likely wound ground the kind for a week tbh

When the reader scares him (Child!Reader)

Well, let's just say you managed to make the policeman play hide and seek with you

And you were the one hiding since you secretly knew that you were a professional at it

So you made 1678-A to find you

And although he's pretty good at catching his victims, he couldn't find you (Cuz y'all be so short)

Like he was literally in front of you and he still couldn't see you and you even giggled

So you've decided to jump on him

And oh boy was he about to scream out for help

But luckily he didn't cuz the others would whoop yo ass

Probably wouldn't give you a lecture but would need a while for his precious heart to not go yeetus the fetus

He would probably yeet you though tbf

When the reader pole dances/aerial silk dance

1678-A probably would have some ideas on what pole dancing is

Maybe not as much with the term aerial silk dancing but would soon understand when he sees you dancing

Probably thinks that you're trying to fondue with him if you're pole dancing

Definitely would be in awe when he sees you dance with the aerial silks

Would have a difficult time mimicking you if he ever wants you to teach him

Has definitely fallen 1000 times while pole dancing and broke his arms while dancing 10 ft off the ground

If the others inside 1678 see you dancing, he'd be in a blushing mess, especially if you were dancing to certain kinds of songs

Would most likely tell you to dance for him privately so there's no peeking

Having a Pregnant!S/O

Would most definitely be on the guard more since you're carrying his child

1678-A would most likely follow you around like a well trained and clingy German Shepard

You'd most likely have to tell him to tone it down because you're pregnant, not some delicate flower

Would most likely do whatever you tell him to do, even if it means hurting himself as long as you're safe and sound

Definitely would make sure that another 1678 would be around you at all times when he's away from you

1678-A would occasionally rub your stomach and sing victorian era songs

Sometimes he would bring you some of your favourite foods

When you try to commit suicide

When he hears the news he was devastated

He literally ran 69 miles just to see you

Would give you a big boi lecture about doing that

Nearly had his heart jump out of his body

Would constantly follow you everywhere after this

He's basically your bodyguard at this point

Would bandage up your wounds

Makes sure that you're fed well and all and would give you random gifts out of the blue

Would most likely ask the other Bobbies to care for you if he's not there and would even give you 1678-B

Asks the Wretches to keep a lookout to make sure nobody hurts you

Having a hopelessly romantic/easily flustered GN!Reader

This particular Bobby would most likely be just as easily flustered and hopelessly romantic as you

I'd imagine him trying to make the first move and you both being in a blushing mess

You both would exchange little gifts every now and again

Everyone else just teases and ships you both

You both loving each other unconditionally and constantly worrying about each other when you're both away from each other

This Bobby would definitely protect you from the MTFs and/or D-classes from attacking you

You would make a deal with the foundation to keep your guy safe and sound

The foundation witnessing how lovey-dovey you both are and just dies of cringe and sweetness overload (but not as sweet as out 999)

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader (part 9 - FINALE)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

word count: 7.2k

warnings: smut (oral f receiving), semi-public sex (in a parked car) angst, arguments, implied smut, sappiness, time skips, some alcohol consumption here and there, lots of talking about issues including bucky's ptsd, I really have no idea how to warn for this but IT’S THE END SO STRAP IN FOLKS

Since that night, it had been like a stand-off in a Western movie, none of you saying anything because you had no idea what to say. Whenever he tried to start the conversation, you brushed him off.

You took a cab home from the event. He slept in his own room for the first time in months.

Finally, suddenly, you were ready to talk about it nearly 30 hours later, knocking on the guest room door and entering to find Bucky on his bed, re-reading Flowers for Algernon. He sat up quickly and shut it, setting it aside. “Hey,” he greeted softly, hesitant like you were a deer in a clearing and he was extending a handful of grain in his palm.

“Hey,” you returned, already fighting back your emotions. “I think I’m ready to talk.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “I’m ready to listen.”

“I just… I want to make sure that you understand this is a really big deal.”

He nodded again.

“I had to do a lot of damage control to prevent being banned from all HFPA events— that includes the Golden Globes, you know, I can’t exactly skip those just because my boyfriend went fucking nuts at a party.” And there was the anger again— you had tried to wait until you could be neutral about this but it barely lasted, mainly because you were still embarrassed about the way you’d handled yourself that night. “You’re lucky not many people saw; you’re lucky no reporters were there! Can you imagine if someone had a fucking picture of this? There were cameras everywhere, what the fuck were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking!” he defended. “I saw you with him and he was touching you and I just… I saw red.”

You sighed slowly. “That’s not a good thing. That’s really, really concerning.”

“I know, I agree— you’re right. I need…” he trailed off, taking a breath before starting over. “I need to work on that.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “I just… I can’t really be a part of that. You need to work on that on your own.”

He stood up instantly, almost looking… afraid? Terrified, really, and heartbroken. “On my own, like what? What does that mean?”

“It means that I think maybe you should go back to your own apartment for a while. I just… need to be alone for a bit.”

“You need to be alone?” he repeated. “Or you need to be away from me?’

“Both.”

His head fell into his hands instantly. "Please don't tell me I fucked this up," he whimpered. "Please don't tell me I ruined this."

"I— I don't know."

"Please, please, please," he sighed, just louder than a whisper, suddenly stepping forward, grabbing your hand and clutching it to his chest. "Look at me," he begged.

You did, hesitantly, fighting everything in you that wanted to cry (and not doing so good of a job at it).

"Please, I lo—"

"Don't," you grimaced. "Don't say that."

"But it's true."

"It doesn't matter!" you yelped, surprising both of you with your volume.

“Are we going to have a chance to talk about this again? Am I going to get a chance to make it up to you?”

“You don’t make it up to me, you fix it. And that takes time.”

He shook his head, looking shocked and confused and completely blindsided which made you feel sick to your stomach. “How long?”

“I don’t know…” you mumbled.

“Am I not going to see you at all, for however long it takes?” he pressed.

“I… that’s sort of the idea.”

He shivered and pulled you into a hug. “Please don’t hate me forever,” he whispered against the top of your head.

“I don’t hate you,” you promised, doing your best not to hug him back even though all you wanted was to wrap yourself around him and feel safe in his arms again.

“Then don’t make me go,” he pleaded as he pulled back, clutching your face. “Let me stay and we can work through this together.”

“That’s not how this works,” you reminded him

“But I don’t know how to be without you,” he explained shakily.

“That’s not really my problem!” you yelped, and he turned away like he’d been slapped, dropping his hands from your face. A long, heavy silence fell between you as you watched him stand there, contemplating.

“If this is my last chance,” he finally spoke softly, barely breaking the silence, “to say everything I want to say…”

“It’s not,” you assured. “We’re going to talk about this again, but you need to go now.”

He nodded, his adam’s apple bobbing with a swallow of nothing. When he looked at you again, you hated how much bluer his eyes looked when they were bloodshot and filled with tears. “Can I kiss you?”

You shook your head. He bit his lip and turned to walk away; you stared at your feet because you couldn’t watch him go.

You heard him grab his backpack, shoving a few things from the drawers into it; he set his key on the table, walked into the open hall, and as soon as you heard the front door open and shut you were plunged into solitude and silence. With a whimper, you crumpled to the floor and cried, the look of betrayal on his face burned into your mind.

It was obvious, to your horror, that he really hadn’t seen it coming; he hadn’t packed his things, or prepared in any way for the conversation going like that. He had been waiting for an olive branch and got a switch to the face instead. You didn’t know anything about working on relationships, repairing broken things… when something went wrong, all you knew how to do was bail.

You knew how to do a new take and say the line right this time. You knew how to take off your eyeliner and start over. You knew how to kick unsuspecting C-listers out of cars because you already got yours. But you didn’t know how to stay, and work, and frankly you were just too scared to try. Last time you tried to make it work, you got burned. And as much as a logical part of you knew that wasn’t Bucky’s fault or responsibility, your heart just couldn’t survive another relationship where you put everything into putting the pieces back together while the other person stood there and watched you just to pull them apart again.

It had to end at some point, right? It was you, it was him… and that’s just how these things go.

//

He knew it was too good to be true. He knew you were too good for him. Anybody with at least one eyeball and half a brain could see that. But still, he hadn’t been ready to let you go.

Being in his apartment felt like stopping in a ghost town; there might as well have been a tumbleweed rolling through the living room. It was beyond a bachelor pad: it was more like an unfinished work site, considering his ‘couch’ was cinderblocks and a few two-by-fours, and his bed was a mattress on the floor.

One toothbrush. No books. A half-empty shampoo bottle in the shower and some hard water stains he needed to scrub away at some point.

This place didn’t feel like a home, it barely felt like a livable space. It was a three-dimensional homage to how empty his life had been before you, and he realized that was only his own fault.

Then again, this was all his fault.

But still, he had let himself obsess over you, turn you into his whole world and it made him into somebody he didn’t want to be. He had been working so hard to keep you happy, inspired more than anything by his fear to lose you, that he’d forgotten to give you space and now here he was… giving you so much more space than he ever wanted to, or knew how to deal with.

But he wanted to use this, if he could. As much as it was tempting to binge on junk food, drink too much and watch porn for an hour, as much as he wanted to run away from everything he was feeling, he owed it to you and to himself to face it all and learn from it. He wanted to be the man you deserved, if that was even humanly possible; he wanted to be who you used to think he was.

//

The next week went by in a blur: a blur filled with shitty romcoms, Ben & Jerry’s straight from the carton, and phone calls ignored.

It would all be fine with time, you knew that, but god, it fucking hurt now. It made you want to call him and at least apologize for having sex with him when you knew he wouldn’t have wanted to if he knew you were upset. More time and distance from the situation made you appreciate that it was manipulative, even if it by no means justified the way he grabbed you, or shoving anybody in the first place.

Truth was, you were scared of Bucky long before that happened. You were scared of how strong your feelings were for him; and, in turn, you were scared of how strong his feelings were for you. You felt loved by him, and you didn’t know what to do with that. So you self-destructed.

Just in time to tear you out of your spiralling thoughts, the intercom buzzed from the front gate. You furrowed your brow, wondering who it could be, and got up to check the camera feed.

You couldn’t see the face of the driver, just his arm, but you’d recognize that Rolex on his wrist anywhere.

“What do you want?” you asked coldly, holding down the intercom talk button.

"Let me in," Sam instructed.

"And why should I?"

"Cause if you don't, I'll press charges against your boyfriend."

BEEP BEEP BEEP! the gate announced its opening.

You took the time while he parked his car and walked to the door to throw out the wrappers from all your questionable “meals” (i.e., candy and ramen), change into slightly nicer sweats and splash your face so you looked slightly less dead. Just as you came downstairs from your rushed primping, Sam knocked on the door and you turned off the TV, tossing the remote aside. “It’s open!” you called out.

He turned the knob and stepped in with just one foot, peering around.

“Is the Terminator home?” he asked coyly. “Cause I actually think I’ve been assaulted enough for one week.”

“No, he’s gone. And don’t call him that.”

“What?” he shrugged, finally coming all the way in and letting the door swing shut on its own, taking his shades off and sliding them into the collar of his v-neck shirt. “It’s a compliment, and you really invite the killer robot comparisons when you’re part robot, look like a killer, and act like a thug.”

“He’s sensitive about the arm, okay? It’s one of the reasons he… it’s part of why we waited so long to go public.”

Sam glanced down to beside the door, where three pairs of your shoes were haphazardly lined up while his boots were noticeably absent. “And the fact that he’s moved out? When’s that gonna go public?” He always had an eye for these things, the bastard.

“I… I don’t know,” you sighed. “What do you want, exactly? Because honestly, I really can’t handle you right now.”

“I’m just trying to be a friend,” he explained, stepping closer again as you leaned against the breakfast bar.

“You seemed a lot more than friendly on Saturday,” you reminded him. “God, Sam, why did you have to do that?”

“So it’s my fault, then?” he rolled his eyes.

“No, of course not,” you assured, “but you knew I wasn’t single. I was actually happy… did you even want me back? Or did you just want to fuck with my life?”

“I did want you back, really.” He paused for a moment, more serious than he almost ever got. “I still do.”

You scoffed, looking away. “What happened to just being a friend?”

“That’s not why I’m here, this time. I’m just here to tell you that I’m worried about you.”

You took your weight off the bar and circled it into the kitchen, Sam mirroring you by following around the other side. “Do you want something to drink?” you asked, opening the fridge. He opened his mouth to answer but then leaned in as he stared at your hand where it was right in front of his face gripping the refrigerator’s door handle.

"He did that to you?" Sam pointed to the bruise on your wrist. You let go of the fridge and pulled your sleeve down to cover it again but that was answer enough. "Jesus, babe, this guy's fucking crazy."

"He's not crazy, and don't call me that," you frowned. "I don't think he meant to, really— his prosthetic is powerful and it was in need of a recalibration. He shouldn’t have grabbed me, but, he probably didn’t mean to do it so hard.”

Sam didn’t seem too convinced by that explanation, but didn’t say anything.

“Believe it or don’t, Sam, but either way it’s none of your business,” you frowned.

“Right, I know,” he nodded. “I just want what’s best for you.”

“And that’s you?” you pressed with an incredulous raised brow, opening the fridge again to grab yourself a green juice (because you were, again, trying to look like you had your shit together) and starting to walk away.

“I’ve changed, believe it or not,” he explained as he followed you out of the kitchen again. “Occasionally, people are capable of that.”

“If that’s true, then I owe it to Bucky to wait for him like I said I would,” you shot back. “I told him to leave so we could work on things separately. Not so I could entertain your come-to-Jesus moment.”

“It’s not a ‘come-to-Jesus’ moment, it’s just a ‘give me another chance’ moment,” he corrected as you took a long sip of the juice, “it’s a ‘maybe we ended things too soon’ moment.”

You looked at him in silent judgment as you kept drinking, and the way he was looking at you made you glad the glass bottle was keeping your lips occupied.

“It’s an ‘I’m still in love with you’ moment.”

Before you could stop yourself, you spit the juice right onto him, covering your mouth in shock just a moment too late.

For one of those indefinite moments, you were just staring at each other while you both contemplated that you had said he loved you and you had spat juice onto him.

“Okay, I was prepared to get shot down,” he admitted. “This is… worse.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you rushed, trying not to laugh, “I… I’ll get some paper towels, I can get you a new shirt, but it’ll have to be one of the ones Bucky left behind…”

“Oh god, it’s sticky,” he grimaced, as he tried to peel his shirt from his skin, “can I just use your shower maybe?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” you nodded, “upstairs and down—”

“I remember where it is,” he reminded you as he stepped past you to make his way to the bathroom. “I knew I should’ve waited to say it until she was done drinking…” you heard him mumble to himself before he disappeared and you heard the bathroom door shut.

But truthfully, it wasn’t really the fact that he said it, or the concept of Sam loving you at all that made you spit out your drink. It was that when he said it, you realized you were in love with Bucky. Which, yes, would’ve been obvious to anyone else but it came as quite a shock to you.

It made you realize that you wanted to make this work. You wanted to be vulnerable, you wanted to try, even if it ended just as badly as it nearly had last week; even if it meant dealing with all the shit that you’d pushed down for so long.

You wanted to have another chance, this time knowing how hard it would be to be without him.

Just as you pondered what to do with that realization, a knock at the door startled you. Who could have made it to the door without buzzing the intercom?

Somebody who has the gate code already, you realized, and your heart sank. You weren’t ready to see him again— specifically, you weren’t ready to be seen by him again. Sure, cleaning up the trash and splashing your face was enough for a guest like Sam, but you had been imagining that when you saw Bucky again you’d be all dolled up looking like you were doing better than ever, like you were thriving without him just to rub it in that you were the best he ever had.

Couldn’t he have just waited a few hours after your realization so you could go to him on your own terms, with your whole speech prepared and everything? As an actress, you were much more comfortable reading lines than improvising.

Another knock made you sigh and set down the half-empty bottle of green juice, running up to the door to answer it.

“Hi,” he greeted soberly when you opened the door.

“Hey,” you nodded back, “listen, now’s not a great time…”

“Listen, I’m not here to cause any problems, or ask you for anything, I just need some of my stuff back,” he explained.

“Okay, it would’ve been better if you had come at another time—”

“I know, I’m not trying to invade your space,” he sighed. “I shouldn’t have used the gate code, I didn’t mean to surprise you, honestly it was just second nature but I realize now I should’ve called first— well, I don’t think you’re taking my calls right now—”

“Bucky, please, we can talk later,” you assured, trying to shut the door.

“Can we?” he sighed. “I mean, will we?”

“Yes, but I’m busy right now,” you explained.

“When?” he asked, voice full of hope. “Soon?”

“I— I don’t know, sure,” you shrugged.

“You’re just saying that to get me to leave,” he realized flatly. “I understand, I don’t blame you— god, I just hate how scared you are of me. I’m everything I never wanted to be. I just wanted to keep you safe and now I can’t even do that, now you think of me as a threat. You should have the gate code changed, if it’ll make you sleep better—”

“I sleep fine, just go and we’ll deal with all of this soon— really, I promise!”

“You promised before and this week without you has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do!” he returned, getting more emotional as he gestured with his hands. “I’m not saying this should all go away in a week, there’s so much more I have to do, but… but not being able to see you at all is killing me. And it’s not like I don’t see you, your movies are on every fucking channel, but you know, I don’t get to really see you, talk to you— that’s what I miss, I miss when we would talk for hours.”

“I miss that too,” you agreed, “it’s all going to happen, it’s just that I need you to go right now—”

And of course, Sam picked just the right time to come running down your staircase with only a towel around his waist.

Bucky tensed up as he saw Sam, jaw tightening. "Oh."

You had no idea what would happen. Was Bucky going to attack him again? Would Sam try to hit Bucky? Were you going to drop dead from sheer embarrassment?

Instead, Bucky just sighed a little and looked to the ground, almost laughing though he seemed anything but amused. “You’ve got a funny idea of what ‘being alone’ means,” he sneered.

“Sam was just—” you began to defend.

"No, it’s okay, I see how it is," Bucky informed you quietly, coldly. He didn’t even seem angry anymore, just defeated. "I'll leave. I'm sorry that I… I'm sorry."

And he turned to leave, you reached out and grabbed his arm. "Wait, it's not—"

He shrugged your hand away as he kept walking, forcing you to chase him.

"Don't leave, please— Bucky, I love you too."

He stopped, but didn't turn around yet; you just stood behind him, staring at his back as it rose and fell with a slow breath. When he looked back at you, his eyes were red, brimming with tears and heartbreak. "Don't say things you don't mean."

"I mean it," you promised.

“And what does that mean for us?”

“I… I don’t know,” you admitted.

“I don’t think I’m ready to come back yet. As much as I miss living with you— and as much as my apartment is so gross—”

You giggled a little, glad you could laugh with him again even if just for a second.

“I need more time. I’m not going to subject you to me until I know I can be… stable, again.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “Whatever you need.”

“But maybe we could… go out sometime? Somewhere where there aren’t paparazzi, ideally?”

“Uh, Vermont?” you offered jokingly. “I’ll find somewhere, though. We’ll talk this all out.”

He nodded slowly, swallowing a little. “Okay.”

With obvious hesitance, he leaned in slightly and gave you a kiss on the forehead. You wanted more than anything to get up on your tiptoes and kiss his lips, but it was probably too soon. He smiled down at you slightly before he turned to walk away, and you did the same as you made it back into the house.

“Hey, listen,” you began as you found Sam still waiting in a towel looking completely lost.

“That doesn’t sound like the beginning of good news,” he sighed.

“I’m so glad you were honest with me and I’m still really sorry for spitting on you, and for Bucky shoving you, and for everything awful that went down between us. And some part of me is always gonna love you, but—”

“I know,” he nodded, clearly disappointed but resigned in a peaceful way. “It’s okay. I had my chance, I blew it, and if this Bucky guy has his then I just hope he isn’t taking it for granted.”

You smiled a little. “He’s not.”

“Then I’ll get dressed and go. Please direct me to his favorite shirt, so that I may steal it,” he requested formally, making you laugh, but you weren’t ready to let it go just yet; instead, you stepped forward and pulled him into a hug.

“You’re a good friend, Sam,” you mumbled against his bare chest.

“Yeah, kinda wish I wasn’t though,” he sighed as he hugged you back.

“Kinda wish I’d made you get dressed before hugging you,” you admitted, the awkwardness of his nudity finally catching up with you.

“Yeah…” he agreed in a whispered sigh.

//

His palms were actually sweaty; well, at least one of them was. He hadn’t been this worked up about a date since high school.

But there was so much more riding on that now than there was then. If he blew this, you probably would dump him for good, and he’d become ‘that guy Y/N Y/L/N dated for a minute’ to the rest of the world.

And there was so much more to him than that— he was learning to really let that shine after three weeks of therapy on Mondays and Thursdays— and so much more to his relationship with you, but it would still be pretty humiliating. More importantly, he would be heartbroken if he never got a chance to hold you again, kiss you again, tell you he loved you not during a fight…

His eyes glanced to the door instinctively when someone stepped in, but it still wasn’t you. He checked his watch and closed his eyes: it was still a few minutes early, you probably wouldn’t be here until 6:30, since that was when you’d agreed to meet when you discussed all this over text. But the length of time between 6:27 and 6:30 just seemed to keep getting longer and longer.

When you finally walked in, it was like one of those movie moments where everything slowed down, the ambient noise and background music faded away, and all he could see was you. If this was it, at least he got to see you like this one last time.

He waved you over, watching you walk closer and feeling his heart race as you pulled him into a hug.

“I missed you,” he blurted out right away.

“Missed you too,” you mumbled back, pulling from the embrace as he moved to pull out your chair for you.

“So,” he began as he sat down, “do you… want me to go first? Or do you want to go first?”

“I love you,” you said instantly, and he couldn’t fight a wide smile.

“I love you too,” he whispered back.

“Now that that’s out of the way,” you grinned, “I think you should go first.”

“Well, now that you say that suddenly I forget everything I’ve been practicing in the mirror all day,” he chuckled. “I already told you I’ve been in therapy, and they finally got me on stuff for my PTSD… it feels weird to say it, to talk about it like I really have it… but I do, and I’m working on not being ashamed of that. What I am ashamed of is the way I treated you that day, how I let my anger get the best of me and how I hurt you when you’re the most important person in my life. You didn’t deserve that. And if I haven’t said it enough, I’m truly sorry.”

“I know,” you nodded, “thank you. I’m glad you’re getting help… I don’t want to see you like that for your own sake, too.”

“Just because you don’t hate me doesn’t mean you have to forgive me. And just because you forgive me doesn’t mean you have to take me back,” he reminded you softly.

“But I do forgive you, and I do want you back,” you promised. “And I want to apologize, too, for the things I did wrong… obviously it’s basically impossible for me to hurt you physically, you’re so much stronger than I am, but I hurt you with how I handled some things and I regret that.”

“It did hurt, but I still reacted poorly at basically every turn. I shouldn’t have gotten jealous of Sam in the first place, if you and him have something going on then that’s none of my business—”

“Of course it’s your business, Bucky, you’re my boyfriend!” you laughed. “You don’t need to be jumping for joy when I talk to my ex, you just need to not be that aggressive about it.”

“Am I your boyfriend?” he asked sheepishly. “Is he your ex?”

"When you came over the other day, and he was there… nothing happened, really. He came over, I told him I didn't want to be anything more than friends, he asked to use my shower… I don't know how to prove it to you—"

"You don't have to," he shook his head. "If you say nothing happened, then nothing happened."

“I mean, we hugged,” you remembered. “And he took your Fleetwood Mac shirt.”

“He what?” Bucky yelped, but then calmed himself down immediately. “Whatever, it’s fine, the point is that I have a lot of shit I still need to work on. Because the truth is, you’re not mine—”

“No, I—”

“Really, you’re not. You’re your own person. That’s what made me fall in love with you in the first place, I love that you’re independent and strong and… maybe a little crazy, but you’re exactly who you need to be. You don’t belong to me.”

“I don’t mind belonging to you as long as it’s fair, Bucky; as long as we belong to each other.”

“Sweetheart, you always had me,” he laughed. “From day one.”

“Then let’s figure your shit out. Believe it or not, I’ve got shit too… commitment issues, abandonment issues, daddy issues—”

“Ooh, I have that one too!” he beamed, making you laugh. “You know, when I was talking to my therapist, she had me do this thing where I talked about my hopes and stuff and, I don’t know, maybe it’s dumb but I wanted us to do that. I want to know what you’re hoping for for this.”

“Okay,” you nodded, “well, I’m hoping that you’ll move back in soon but not right away, maybe in a few months? I want us to get better at being apart, it’ll come in handy when I have to go to far off places for filming and stuff.”

“Totally with you,” he agreed, “might have to start buying some real furniture for my place though.”

“What about you?” you prompted.

“I’m hoping that you still think I'm cute enough to put up with some of my crap," he smirked, "if not all of it."

"Definitely," you grinned.

“I’m hoping that in the future, if you’re upset, you’ll tell me and we can work it out, and then have make-up sex," he added.

“Deal,” you chuckled.

“And, if I’m being honest,” he continued, leaning in closer and lowering his voice, “I’m hoping that I can take you home tonight.”

It was so simple, but it made a shiver run down your spine. This distance had caused more than just your heart to grow fonder, and you were craving his touch more than ever. “Where’s home?” you asked coyly.

“It’s wherever you wanna go,” he purred. “Your place, my place, the back of your car—”

“That one,” you nodded eagerly, “definitely that one.”

//

You wanted to go right then and there but he made you sit through the whole dinner, with all the trappings of wining and dining, though for you it sometimes felt more like whining and dying because you needed him so bad you couldn't think. But he stayed patient, keeping up the conversation, asking more about a new project you were tentatively linked with, telling you more about the newest improvements to his prosthetic.

He picked up the check, which was absurd to you but he insisted, and escorted you to your car as if his intentions were just gentlemanliness even though you knew it was far worse than that.

He (gently) pinned you up against the side of the car, kissing you slowly, making you melt like it was no effort for him at all. As his lips made their way to your ear, he whispered to you darkly, "get in the back and spread your legs for me."

You were sure you'd never obeyed an instruction so fast, hopping in and happily watching him climb in behind you. He instantly knelt down between your spread legs, holding you by your thighs as he pushed your dress up, and you were already lifting your hips up to let him pull your panties down to your ankles.

"So eager," he whispered happily, kissing his way up one of your legs and never breaking his gaze away from yours. Your mouth fell slack as you watched him get higher and higher, closer to where you were already dripping with need. "Been wanting to do this since that night, however many months ago, where I had to watch somebody else do this to you," he admitted with a grin that nipped at your inner thighs. "I know I've tasted you a thousand times since then, but I wanted to do it here."

There was a lot you could say to that, but it was all lost to a gasp as he licked one long, thin stripe right across your entrance and over your clit. Already you were shaking and grabbing his hair— he'd grown it out just enough that you could really dig your fingers into it, but even so he kept his teasing pace.

He kept going, that slow and torturous cycle where just as your clit got some much-needed attention, he started back over at your leaking opening again.

"The fuck are you doing down there, trying to figure how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" you finally groaned, making him chuckle at how demanding you'd become.

"I'm just making sure I do this right," he dismissed. "Want more, baby?"

"Please," you shuddered. "Need your tongue inside me."

He grinned and put you out of your misery, really latching his lips onto you now as he pushed his tongue inside and curled it against your g-spot. It was enough to make your back arch dramatically and your fingers clench on his hair, a little growl echoing out of his mouth and into your body in response.

Your legs were accidentally clamping down on his head each time he sucked on your clit, but he didn't seem to mind, if anything it egged him on.

"C-close, so close," you chanted our warning as his hands tightened on your thighs he gave wide laps to your throbbing button.

"Say you love me baby," he mumbled his demand against your skin.

"Bucky, yes, I love you," you whimpered. "Love you so much, fuck, I'm gonna come…"

He nodded as he wrapped his lips around your clit and kept sucking, harder than ever, until your whole body was literally quaking and you weren't sure if you had closed your eyes or if your vision just went black for a second. As if that weren't enough, he kept going until you had to push him off of you by his forehead, shivering and catching your breath as aftershocks rocked your body.

"You're so amazing," he groaned huskily as he sat up and pulled you into a rough kiss, the taste of your pleasure coating your tongue as it tangled with his. Just as you were about to reach down and attempt to operate his belt buckle with your tingling fingers, he pulled back from the kiss a moment too soon. "And now you get to drive yourself home," he grinned, patting you on the cheek reassuringly.

"What? That's it?!" you squawked.

"You just came so hard you nearly blacked out and you're asking me if that's it?" he smirked incredulously.

"I just thought you would want to, you know… go all the way," you explained, cringing at the immature phrase.

"Hey, I'm a gentleman, and this is still our first date," he reminded you.

"But aren't you, you know…?"

"Oh, I am," he nodded quickly, leaning in to bite at your neck. "Don't worry about me, princess, I can take care of myself." He chuckled at your whimper and pulled back to look right into your eyes. "But it's not about me, is it? You want my cock all for yourself, don't you?"

You nodded, making him giggle sweetly.

"Well, you're just gonna have to wait," he cooed, poking the tip of your nose with his finger and laughing harder at your needy whine. "We'll go out again next weekend and maybe if it goes well, it'll lead to something more, alright?"

"Okay," you sighed, "I can wait a week. I think."

He smiled and kissed you again, helping you pull your panties back up and rubbing your thigh appreciatively. "Goodnight," he whispered against your lips, slipping out of the car and shutting the door behind him.

You sighed and let your head fall back against the seat, watching out the window as he walked back to his bike. You hated to see him go, but you did love watching him walk away.

//

two years later…

“Will the Six Million Dollar Man be joining us?” Sam asked with a smirk as he glanced to the door of the bowling alley, checking to see if anyone had walked in.

“When he gets off of work,” you promised.

“Why do you call him that?” Natasha asked Sam innocently.

“You’ll see,” Sam promised, kissing his girlfriend on the cheek, but you figured there was a pretty good chance she wouldn't get the reference anyway.

Right on cue, Bucky appeared in the doorway and you and Sam waved him to the correct lane. “Hey guys,” he greeted, “hey babe,” he pulled you into a quick kiss. “And happy birthday, Sam.”

“Shh, keep it down, we don’t want any Hollywood people to find out that I’m aging,” Sam joked. “Are you gonna join the game or just observe?”

“I’ll join, if it’s not too late,” Bucky decided.

“Since when do you bowl?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Since I got the prosthetic recalibrated to throw the perfect strike every time,” he winked.

Beers and turns went pretty quickly after that, light conversation interspersed in between, until the more raucous parts of the evening died down and you left Bucky for a moment to join Sam at the bar.

Sam nodded to acknowledge you as you leaned beside him, and you ordered yourself one more drink before you called it a night.

“So, Natasha,” you started the conversation, watching the way Sam couldn’t hide his smile. “She’s great.”

“Yeah, she’s really something,” he agreed. “I wanted you guys to meet her sooner, but you were gone filming for so long and all.”

“Don’t fuck this one up, Sam,” you threatened.

“I’m trying not to!” he defended, before looking around like he was trying to make sure no one was looking. As you furrowed your brow and wondered what he was up to, he pulled out his phone from his jacket pocket and showed you a picture: a ring, with a massive diamond and accents of citrine.

“Holy shit…” you sighed, pulling the phone closer to get a better look.

“Had it custom made, I’m gonna pick it up tomorrow,” he explained, putting the phone away. “I don’t even know how I’m gonna ask her yet… I just know I need to snag this one before she slips through my fingers.”

“You’re really like a whole new man,” you realized aloud.

“I’m telling you, this girl… she really changed everything for me,” he sighed wistfully, and you nodded because you knew what that was like.

“I knew you just needed a good woman to straighten you out, Wilson,” you joked, patting him on the shoulder, “my only mistake was ever thinking it was me.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I thought it was you, too,” he smiled softly. “I really loved you, even when I was stepping out on you… and I think I needed to love you, and to lose you, to be here now.   So, thank you.”

“Uh, you’re welcome, I guess,” you laughed a little, taking a slow sip of your drink.

“And if she says yes, I’m gonna need all the marriage advice you have to offer,” he bargained.

“I mean, we’ve only been married for a month,” you chuckled, “I don’t think we’re far enough into it to really provide significant guidance.”

“And you’ve already gone through so much together.  Is he doing alright?  You know, his nightmares and stuff…”

You glanced over and where Bucky and Natasha were chatting, admiring how at ease he looked; he usually had a harder time with new people.  “Yeah, it’s been a lot better, he’s on new meds… how did you know about that?”

“He talks to me sometimes,” Sam admitted.  “And as someone who has played a PTSD-striken veteran in not one, but two major motion pictures, I’m sort of an expert,” he winked, but then got serious again.  “I would’ve asked him how he was doing myself but he wouldn’t let me ask him personal stuff on my birthday.”

“I bet he’d let you ask him for his opinion on the ring you just showed me.”

“Um, why would I want his opinion when he bought you that?” he grimaced, pointing at the ring on your finger.  “I mean, sapphires?  Really?”

“Cut it out,” you laughed, shoving him on the shoulder.

“Okay, fine,” he relented. 

“Are you coming to my premiere tomorrow, by the way?” you asked.  “I have it on good authority you were invited, since I demanded it.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” he nodded, “Nat really wants to go, too.  She’s a big fan of your work.”

“Well, tell her she was great in that one about the missing girl,” you replied.  

“I’ll be sure to tell her exactly that.”

“We should head home, you know how early premiere prep starts,” you sighed with an exhausted roll of your eyes, finishing the last of your drink before grabbing Sam on the shoulder.  “Good luck with however you decide to pop the question with Nat.  Let me know if you need anything.”

He nodded and let you go, and once you got Bucky’s attention and said goodbye to Nat, the two of you made your way out back to the car.

“I’m glad you and Sam get along,” you reminded him as you squeezed his hand.

“What gives you that impression?” he scoffed.

You shook your head and smiled, letting him walk you to the car in silence.

Less than 24 hours later, you held his hand in just the same way as you sat beside each other in the screening auditorium, watching your latest film fade to black and hearing the crowd at the premiere— mostly cast, crew, and critics— erupt into applause.

"I have a little surprise for you," you whispered in his ear as the credits began to flash.

"I am not gonna let you blow me in this crowded theater," he instantly scolded.

"No, not that," you giggled, although you secretly wondered how much less crowded the theater would have to be for him to let you try it.  "Just wait until my name comes up."

Written and Directed by Hope Van Dyne

A Paramount Pictures Film

In Association with Europa

And then there it was, in big white letters, just as much of a trip to see as the first time you saw your name on the big screen.  But something very important had changed.

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes

Everyone at the screening was clapping and cheering, but you were so focused on him that his whisper was the only thing you heard.  "Sweetheart," he gasped, and you smiled wide.  "You didn't have to—"

"I wanted to."

"It's just a stage name, if you want to keep it the same—"

"Buck, really.  I want your name there with mine."

"But your credits…" he protested, though the break in his voice made it clear he was tearing up.  "You're an actress and you've established your career already and it's so important to you—"

"Hey," you soothed, reaching up to brush your hand over his cheek, forcing him to look at you.  "Your wife is the most important thing I've ever been."

[animeomegas]

(infertile alpha request) oh, sorry! Preferably Naruto, Death Note or Obey me

(Thank you so much for clarifying! I’ve done Naruto and Death Note 💓 Enjoy!)

Naruto – He is a bit sad when he hears the news. He definitely wanted to adopt at least one child, so he’s not sad about never having children, because he knows he still can easily, but he was kinda really looking forward to being pregnant. He wanted to know what it was like, all the things he’d seen other couples go through (ultrasounds, cravings, birth classes), and it’s a little startling to have that dream suddenly ripped away from him. He’s not comfortable with any other conception methods, so he adopts all his children. But, when he’s cuddled up with his three adopted children, he can’t believe he was ever upset about not having biological children, and the thought that having biological children would have stopped him adopting all of his current children makes him feel sick because he can’t imagine a life without all his precious pups. Where would they be if he didn’t adopt them? Naruto decides that it was better this way, in the end.

Sasuke canon – Sasuke is very conflicted, at first. He had been clinging onto this dream of reviving his clan since he was a child, but now the only person he could ever tolerate having sex with can’t give him that… He’s not getting a donor, no way. There are no orphans from his clan to adopt. He honestly doesn’t know what to do, there seems to be no good answer. In the end, I think he would decide to just never use birth control and see what happens. The chances may be extremely slim, but he’s not comfortable with any other conception method, so it’s this or nothing. It might actually be quite a good experience for Sasuke in the end, because he is finally forced to examine some of the goals he clung to as a child to keep himself from breaking down and see if they are something he ever actually wanted. He might think about what life would have been like with his own pup occasionally, but he’s never been as happy as he is with his alpha and that is more than good enough for him (but not good enough for the council who harass him about having as many children as possible, constantly.)

Sasuke non-massacre AU – He doesn’t think it’s a big deal tbh. He got himself sterilised while he was in his early twenties because he didn’t want to deal with the possibility of getting pregnant, and he had to fight his clan for it! So, he’s glad that you won’t have to do that same, but it’s easier for alphas anyway. If you’re in a relationship with him, then you obviously don’t want pups, so he doesn’t think much about it. He’s like “Oh, okay,” then ends the discussion.

Shikamaru – This might be a problem… His child will be the next clan leader and they have to be of his blood, as is clan tradition. He would probably have to go for a donor to get pregnant, probably some distant clan member he’s never met before, but he feels really weird about it. He doesn’t like it, but he bites his tongue for once and gets on with it. He keeps it a secret from most people. The other biological parent is a clan member, so he just lets people believe that Shikamaru’s Nara genes were super strong, and that’s why there’s none of his alpha in their pup. I don’t think he would ever tell his pup that they weren’t biologically the child of both of their parents, he doesn’t think it matters and he doesn’t want to cause drama or have to involve the other bio parent if his pup asks after them. It’s better left as a family secret.

Shino – His situation is similar to Shikamaru’s. His child will be the next clan leader and in order to have a kikaichu and be trained like his clanmates, they have to be biologically an Aburame. Shino is also not comfortable with other conception methods, but mainly because he’s terrified of his alpha rejecting the pup if they aren’t theirs or reacting badly if Shino is pregnant with someone else. Some alphas have a hard time with those instincts and can’t accept non-biological pups or get violent when their mate is carrying someone else’s offspring. Shino is pretty scared. He also is so humiliated during the invasive insemination procedure. In the end, he had nothing to worry about, as his alpha was the perfect parent to their pup, but for about a year, Shino is constantly stressed that everything is going to change suddenly, and his mate will snap and leave them or something. It’s a tough time for him.

Neji – He’s actually quite relieved. It makes him feel a lot less guilty for his own fertility problems. If you’re both sterile, he’s sad that you’re both lacking something you want, but it makes dealing with his own problems easier. There are many orphans in the clan, so you both adopt from that pool, and Neji couldn’t be happier and prouder of his children.

Kakashi – Thank fuck for that. He got sterilised when he was in ANBU, just in case he had any missions that involved seduction. Kakashi might make a joke about how you’re lucky that you got to avoid the hospital and still be sterile. He wishes lol. Anything that helps him remain childless is good in his book.

Iruka – He makes sure his mate isn’t upset, but Iruka himself is totally fine. He wouldn’t mind not having children at all, and if they both decided to have children, Iruka would want to adopt anyway. He thinks it makes so much more sense to adopt when there are so many pups who need loving homes. He does get a little sad if his mate is sad though, but only out of empathy, not because he himself is sad.

Itachi canon – It is very helpful for him. While Itachi has issues with his heat and his health, he doesn’t have many problems getting pregnant, he just can't carry to term. And birth control is hard as a missing nin, so he’s very glad that he doesn’t have to worry about it. (Miscarriages are not fun, and with a fertile mate he would certainly have suffered through a few). It’s better for him this way, his circumstances prevent him from having children anyway.

Itachi non-massacre AU – He’s devastated. He doesn’t blame his alpha at all, but he’s very upset. His clan will never let him adopt, if they're losing one of their best shinobi to stay at home and raise children, those children better be the new top shinobi, so they have to be his biological children. He using artificial insemination, and he uses the sperm of another Uchiha (one that he's not directly related to). The clan elders are overjoyed that Itachi's pups will be 100% Uchiha blood rather than mixed. But Itachi is very, very firm about making legal protections for his mate as their pups' parent. He doesn't want his clan to pull anything to try and exclude his alpha or claim that his mate doesn't have authority over their own child. He's very firm about those conditions.

Sai – Huh, well, he hadn’t given pups much thought tbh. He’s totally okay with not having children, he genuinely doesn’t care that much. He likes it just being his alpha and him, so why change it?

Gaara – He’s another one who is completely devastated when he hears the news, but he is very stoic about it on the outside because he wants to be a good support for his alpha who might be struggling. He really mourns being able to carry his alpha’s pups. He doesn’t want to adopt because he really wants to carry a pup and breastfeed and everything, but he’s also worried about his alpha feeling betrayed or excluded if he goes for a sperm donor. He’s desperate for his own children, two at least, so he wants to use a sperm donor.

...

L – He nods and files it away in his brain with all the other information about his beloved, but he doesn’t file it as important. You have already agreed to not have children, so it doesn’t matter either way.

Light – Hmm, this is a problem for his plan. He needs someone to take over the perfect world he’s creating, and he was planning on it being the biological child of him and his mate. Well, it needs to be his child, but it doesn’t matter too much if it’s also his alpha’s biological child. Light isn’t comfortable with artificial insemination, but he’s down for seducing one of his fangirls/fanboys and using them. He wouldn’t tell them that the pup is theirs though because he doesn’t want to be tied down to someone he can’t stand. If they got too suspicious that his pup was theirs, they might find themselves the victims of a mysterious death.

Matsuda – He’s distraught for you and himself. He’s a very traditional person who wants traditional things, a couple of kids, a nice house, a dog, that kind of thing. He would want to try every possible method to conceive naturally, but after two years going back and forth between various fertility clinics, it’s clear that he’s not going to get what he wants. Matsuda goes back and forth between various other methods but eventually decides to adopt an infant. He never really stops hoping that he’ll magically become pregnant, but that doesn’t mean he loves his child any less, because he absolutely dotes on them.

[ubi-goes-uwu]

Spies are Forever Fix-It

Spies are Forever is one of my favorite musicals, but I think the ending is flawed. Curt’s whole ark is meant to illustrate him learning to trust again (in himself and others) while becoming more considerate and careful as an agent, less reckless, after Owen’s traumatic death.

BUT, and hear me out, WHY is that accomplished by moving on FROM Owen?

Because OK, the whole issue he is having in the beggining of the story is how to deal with his guilt over Owen’s death and at the same time, grieve him. That’s because he never got to apologize or make up for his mistake, and he blames himself for being alone, having caused the death of the man he loved. As such, he feels undeserving of having love in his life post-Owen, both because he feels it’s his fault that he is gone (and so he might cause other people he loves to die if they get close (canon Owen gets it super right torturing Curt with the death of the Informant)) and because it would mean abandoning Owen in his heart.

So, he starts the story depressed, guilt-ridden and an alcoholic. The way the story is set, however, makes it so that he doesn’t become a more careful spy, or stop drinking, or realize the gray area of his work (between Owen’s POV and his own). No. He just learns to let people to have his back again.

Killing Owen, though, him having turned into a villain, doesn’t read as moving on from my perspective. (It just reads as catharsis for a moment after the revelation of Owen’s misdeeds and all the mean things he’s saying to Curt). For one very important reason:

THEY NEVER TALK ABOUT THE INCITING INCIDENT.

(that way, Curt never really gets closure on what happened, because he just writes off his guilt on account of Owen turning out to be evil anyway - but that’s not a long term solution)

Of course, Owen references it lightly when he reveals his identity to Curt, but they don’t talk it out at all. If you listen to the lyrics of “One Step Ahead”, (“You played me from the start/Look at you, without a clue/You know you broke my heart”), they talk about it in a very weird way that implies that Owen was working for Chimera all along, but that’s not the case!

Because when he reveals himself, Owen says that he was recruited after the incident, and that it changed his worldview.

They never say the obvious things they should - typical narrative misunderstanding -, because although Owen does say that he blamed Curt for his “death”, Curt doesn’t apologize for it or defend himself, leaving the conversation in this weird limbo.

To fix this, Curt can’t KILL OWEN, he needs to UNDERSTAND HIM in order to move on. And there were many things to be said, on both sides. The points Owen could make are:

Curt broke the railing Owen fell through;

Curt let the banana peel that Owen slipped on on the floor, even after Owen asked him to pick it up;

Curt didn’t listen to the directive of the mission, (bring the shoes or use the camera in his watch as planned), and decided they were going to blow up the facility;

Curt set the timer to less time than Owen agreed to;

Curt drank on the job, even as Owen asked him not to;

Curt didn’t think they needed to close the door through which the henchman came through and cornered them;

Curt left the building without Owen.

Basically, Curt was careless and sloppy. I think that what Curt felt guilty for was a mixture of these things, but mainly letting Owen fall, which I don’t think Owen holds against him (again, Curt is reckless, and goes with it, I don’t think he would have done anything differently if he could go back, simply try harder to catch Owen, leaning on his physical prowess and not on careful measurements to make sure the mission would work, while Owen would blame him for that carelessness and not being unable to catch him, a feat that was impossible and that there’s no way to fix) The points Curt could make are:

Owen didn’t really protest any of Curt’s actions very veehemently;

The dynamic they had was very much Reckless Hothead/ Careful and Calculated (Curt tried to make Owen more layed back, Owen tried to make Curt more careful), and the situation just played out and unfortunate instance of the dynamic at play;

With very little discussion, Owen conceded and also drank from Curt’s flask;

Even before the Chimera reveal, in those first scenes, you could tell there was competitiveness between them, (when they talk to Cynthia, for example), and that prompted Curt to set the timer with less time, something Owen would’ve probably done too (When Curt suggested five minutes, Owen suggested four competitively);

There was no way Curt could’ve known that Owen was still alive after the fall, and the building was about to blow up.

So, here’s my suggestion towards fixing this problem, and having a complete ark for both Curt and Owen:

Firstly, a few things to establish, because the musical doesn’t:

Owen really did love Curt, he was recruited by Chimera after he “died”.

After Curt left the warehouse, it blew up, and Chimera then was able to aprehend an injured Owen quite easily. After a slow recovery, they shared their ideas with a broken and abandoned Owen, who then entered the organization.

Sometime in those four years, Owen took the role of DMA, taking orders from Chimera on who to kill and when (maybe he doesn’t personally kill all 1147 people personally, but is given a backstory with all of these kills).

PS: I find it weird that we are given the detail that most of those people are teen girls and young women, but I think that might’ve been to misdirect us/ make the twist more shocking later, anyway I can’t make sense of it, we can just track it back to Chimera, though.

EDIT: I was made aware that it was just to show the picture of Starkid fans (most in that demographic) as the victims and probably does not relate to the story at all.

My suggestion is,

Firstly, that Owen show a physical sign of the trauma his body has been through. Just because it’s my choice and it would be easy to see, I suggest it’s extensive burns on half of his face, being an impactful revelation as he takes off his latex mask of Joe Walker.

He does kill the informant and give Tatiana and Curt the information about Chimera, running away to make Curt chase him (we saw earlier, in Torture Tango, that he does indeed want to torture and kill Curt, something he thinks he himself needs to destroy the man he was before Chimera, whom he thinks is naive and idealistic).

I don’t want to change the lyrics to the song “One Step Ahead”, because it’s a masterpiece, but I’d keep Owen taunting Curt in any way he sees how, and Curt feeling less and less guilty over his death (“I liked you better when you were dead!”). In this alternate SAF, Owen is appealing to Curt’s competitive side to make him act careless, saying he tricked him with his death, while it was actually something he had no control/feels powerless over. Curt is falling into that trap, becoming more agressive and resentful of Owen, feeling like he grieved and suffered for nothing (his feelings over Owen’s absence turned against the man himself).

That part where both of them sing “This is what you made me do” explains perfectly how I’m going to fix their arks. Owen went to Chimera because of what Curt made him realize about the problems with spies, and he wants to kill him because of how he felt abandoned when he “died”. Curt is about to kill Owen because of the self-righteoussness of his character, who sees everything in black and white, but more than that, he wants to become the person he was before Owen died, and ironically thinks that killing Owen is the way to do it (in his mind, it removes the guilt over “killing” someone he loved and cherished - good (in the white)- as he kills someone he “hates”, bad, in the black).

The dialogue afterwards is kept much the same. Owen doesn’t say thay he’ll dismantle everything Curt believes in/ Curt doesn’t respond that they used to share those beliefs. But Owen does say that Curt is a caveman, and he’s invented fire, he adds that spies make mistakes and kill people, manupulate things, and are overall unethical, calling Curt a careless brute. Curt responds that a world without spies sounds boring, and Owen says that’s because the world shouldn’t be his plaything.

Curt then says that the new Chimera system is no better than the old one, and that it would just be less invasive, but to everyone instead of select few. Owen responds as canon.

Curt brings up their secret, but Owen doesn’t reply that the secret died the night Curt left him for dead.

Instead, Owen says “No on should have to hide like we did, Curt. The problem isn’t that we loved each other! It’s what the damn government does to people like us. Force us down… Shame us.”

“But we can’t just turn against the government,” Curt yells. “It does more good then bad, we’ve had this conversation!”

“Well, I’ve changed my mind,” Owen responds, adjusting the gun to Curt’s head. “About a lot of things…”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Curt says. Owen’s caught off guard by that, and Curt uses this shock to knock the gun off of Owen’s hand.

This move kills Owen inside. Even after all this time, he wasn’t able to kill Curt when confronted with the love they once shared.

When Curt knocks the gun out of Owen’s hand, instead of saying “Killing me won’t stop Chimera, so what are you doing?”, Owen just looks into the barrel of the gun and lets out a resigned sigh.

“Finish the job, then,” he says. “Finish what you started four years ago.”

(The line affects Curt even more as he looks as the half of Owen’s face that’s burnt off)

“I thought you were dead!” Curt defends himself. “I would never have left you behind if I knew…”

“We promised! We swore we’d never leave each other! And you just…” Owen yells.

Curt swallows around air.

“Just do it,” Owen continued, having nothing to lose. “Kill me and bury behind the man you loved, but not enough to refrain from handling his heart as carelessly as you do everything else. And revel in the knowledge that in the end, you’re the one who was strong enough to pull the trigger!”

“I never wanted…” Curt started. “That’s not what I want, I just- ”

“Don’t pretend that’s true. If you pull the trigger, don’t pretend it’s to save the world. You know it’s so you never have to think about the broken, mangled man you left behind because of your mistakes.”

“I’M SORRY!” Curt yells. He’s shaking, but the gun is firmly planted against Owen’s head.

Owen is shocked.

“It was my fault. I watched you fall, I couldn’t reach you. You told me to… I know that it was my fault, I just don’t know how to fix it, O. Do you think I wouldn’t if I could? The day I lost you was the worst day of my life, I would do anything to go back!”

“It’s too late now,” Owen says, somber.

“Please, O. Give it up. The agency could pull some strings, Cynthia’s always liked you.”

Owen looks into Curt’s eyes, and for a moment, it seems like he’s about to say yes.

“No. It’s too late for me. I can’t ever live again. And it’s too late for the world, too. There’s no going back to that time. Things will only move faster. But you can still… There’s fixing you,” Owen says, leaning his forehead on the barrel of the gun. “There’s no fixing me.”

Curt takes one step towards Owen again. The gun shifts to point at his ear. His other hand brushes the burn scars on Owen’s face gently. The man nods, assertive.

“Goodbye,” Curt says, and pulls the trigger.

So, the apology brings Owen’s ark to a close. He’d gone too far in thinking of Curt’s actions as betrayal, and never let anyone get close to him again (DMA), also never letting himself feel. When Curt apologized, Owen felt all the strain from pushing it all down, all the anger, turn into sadness. He didn’t have the strength to go after a better future for himself after all he’d done, so he gave up.

Curt, this way, learns that Owen’s point of view isn’t just crazy evil, he just wanted to live in a world where he didn’t have to hide anymore, even if that meant exposing himself and going against the government (his old beliefs). With Owen’s final words, he now sees what could happen to him if he keeps pushing people away and trying to do everything by himself. He’ll burn out and die, like Owen did. So now his character has the motivation to grow and get better from his inital condition.

The Original Ending

I get that the original ending is a targedy, but the musical plays it off as good. The CIA is not better or worse than the NSA. Both are bad, and mean constant vigilance and fear. Curt and Owen don’t even aspire to live life outside of hiding, and their conflict is a horrible situation caused by it. Curt ends the musical in the same bad condition he was in at the beggining, just a little more open to trusting people (not a lot, though, he lies to Tatiana on the last line, going rogue recklessly).

Owen wasn’t the real villain. His actions are forgivable by the musical’s own logic. Tatiana also killed a lot of people (as the best assassin in the USSR) on behalf of an organization that manipulated her. Barb agrees with the plan for the NSA, and even wanted to make Chimera before she knew Chimera existed. Cynthia also says that the rise of the NSA is inevitable, and Curt leaves the agency symbolizing the end of the CIA spies era.

The real villain, on my opinion, should’ve been framed as the American government. They’re the ones that caused all of the issues the story grows upon, opression of gay people, spies, the NSA and lack of privacy, etc. And the Cold War, mostly, is the perfect context for this, as they criticize the USSR a lot through Tatiana’s story.

EDIT: I do think that the musical criticizes the US, obviously, mostly seen through the song “Somebody’s Gotta Do It”, which talks metaphorically about how the US made money selling to both the Allies and the Axis, and the song “Not So Bad”, which names various ways in which the german economy thrived, the US still trading with them during that period (that goshdarn capitalism). I just think that the messaging gets a little blurry in the end if it is to be believed that the US is the villain.

The musical is SO GOOD, but I think that in the ending, these messages thay could’ve been explored are a little lost, and it’s a shame.

[logicalbookthief]

Things Left Unsaid -- An Analysis of Rei & Touya

Apparently Rei has been getting a lot of flack lately, all of it undeserved, and since I had a post analyzing her relationship with Touya in the works already, I figured no time like the present.

Disclaimer #1: There are a lot of issues with the writing for Rei’s character that have nothing to do with her and everything to do with how the storyline is using her, which I will address and examine.

Disclaimer #2: I’m someone who, while always curious as to what kind of relationship Rei had with her oldest son before he died, never thought it would be revealed that Touya was close to his mom. I don’t think you get the Dabi we see in Chapters 290-295 without him being so warped by his relationship with his father yet so dependent on his attention that he was willing to kill his brother and himself simply for his father’s acknowledgement.

But that’s what I find so interesting about Rei and Touya -- it’s a relationship that mainly consists of regrets and things left unsaid. There isn’t the anger or resentment Dabi feels for Endeavor, because that intense level of emotion sprung from the loss of the father who used to be his whole world. His feelings toward his mother seem more amicable, but also more distant.

And while she could’ve done some things differently in regards to her oldest, I want to make it clear that the distance between them was very much by design.

After all, Touya was the end goal of their marriage. It was never any secret as to why Enji wanted to marry her and to some extent Rei must’ve realized that this child was not meant to be hers: the child was the transaction, the thing she was needed to create, to give to her husband. Of course she loved Touya and was likely his primary caregiver for most of his life, but there was no doubt that once his quirk manifested and he could begin his hero training, his life would be dominated by his father. Which is what happened.

Here, I would like to point out something I noticed in the flashback chapters. We never see any panels of Enji alone with any of his children during their infancy -- even with Shouto, the perfect child he longed for, we see Rei holding Shouto, sitting by him as he sleeps. Enji is there tangentially. Once Shouto begins his training, that is when we see him with his father.

So to see Enji with Touya when he was a baby, prior to his quirk manifesting, strikes me as a big deal. But it makes sense if you remember that he’d placed all his hopes, dreams and expectations on his firstborn. Initially, it doesn’t look like he even considered the possibility that Touya wouldn’t be his successor or that his little eugenics experiment would fail; this was his first, most optimistic attempt at a masterpiece. So I don’t believe it’s far-fetched to see him spend more time with Touya right off the bat (it’s what will make the eventual abandonment all the more crushing).

However, Rei isn’t seen at all in the snippet of Touya’s infancy, despite us knowing she was relegated to the caregiver role. Rei is literally out of the picture. Compare this to how she features prominently in Shouto’s infancy or how we see her holding a baby Natsuo. You could argue that, hey, we don’t see her holding a baby Fuyumi either, but there’s other scenes where Fuyumi’s attached to her mother’s hip or crying over her being hurt. Things that suggest a closeness, when the only scene we get of just her and Touya is one where they’re at odds. 

As we move further into Touya’s childhood, though, Rei becomes the only voice we hear advocate for him against his father. I’m referencing two specific instances:

When Enji coerces her into having more children to replace Touya now that his father has deemed him a failure, something she knows will hurt their son deeply.

And after Touya lashes out at Shouto, which Rei doesn’t blame on Touya, but rather on his father. She delivers such a satisfying condemnation of his actions, probably the most cutting one Endvr’s received to date, and it so accurately sums up one of his major character flaws.

How can you call yourself a hero when you can’t even face your own son?

The tragedy of it all is that Rei never said any of this in front of Touya -- it was always said in private, just to her husband. That alone took courage, yes, but it would’ve meant everything to Touya to hear her condemn his father aloud. Instead when she does speak to him, she says this:

It’s why I can’t wrap my head around that scene in Ch 302, where after Enji admits he didn’t know what to say to Touya, Rei replies, “Neither did I.” 

When we’re shown in flashbacks during that same chapter that she did understand her son. “He just wants to be acknowledged by you” is quite the indication that she, at the very least, understood the cause of Touya’s turmoil even if she couldn’t fully relate to it herself. So why can’t she say any of this to him?

The answer is in the way she addresses Touya, as it is nearly identical to how Nao addresses Tenko in this scene:

Both Touya and Tenko grew up in similar households: the father had all the power, physical and financial, so the mothers were left to try and comfort their children in a way that didn’t go against their husbands’ desires -- and so, to use Tenko’s own words, they would “reject them with kindness.”

So it’s no wonder that Touya lashes out at his mother after she suggests he pursue other things. He isn’t five like Tenko was, he’s thirteen and has a much clearer understanding of why she says this and why it’s a bit hypocritical, since he’s aware of her situation, too.

Just as she was bound by her family, who wanted her to marry Endvr for the money and status, he’s bound by the expectations of his family. I’m not sure if I’ve seen anyone else touch on this detail, but when Touya states that he knows his grandparents sold his mom into marriage so his dad could have a child, we could infer that Touya knows enough to realize that his mother might not have necessarily wanted him.

Not him specifically, but any child — the story has neglected to flesh her out beyond her marriage and motherhood, so we have no idea if Rei wanted to become a mother prior to this arrangement, despite how much she loves her kids now — although it is possible that he might’ve internalized it this way.

So you have Touya, who at least knows with certainty that his father wanted him to exist, yet he comes to understand that his father only wants him if he can meet a specific set of expectations, and if he cannot, he’ll be discarded. If he can’t surpass All Might, he can’t fulfill his reason for existing and his father will have to replace him. So to have his mother urge him to follow a path other than becoming a hero would mean, to Touya, accepting that he is the mistake he fears he is. Of course he isn’t going to respond well to that.

I don’t like when people try to compare Touya’s reaction in this moment to Shouto’s when Rei tells him he isn’t bound by his father’s blood, using that to paint Shouto as the “good” child and Touya as the “bad” one. They didn’t react differently because of any innate sense of goodness or lack thereof -- they reacted differently because the situations are different.

Telling Shouto that he didn’t have to be like his father comforted Shouto, who only knew his father as the bully who hurt his mom. He associated his father, and his father’s fire, with all of that fear and pain -- and thus, he associated the part of himself that took after his father with those feelings. She wasn’t denying his dream of becoming a hero, only assuring him that when he became a hero it could be whatever kind of hero he chose to be, that he wasn’t doomed to be like his father.

Whereas what she tells Touya sounds a lot like what his father told him, which was to give up on being a hero and pursue other aspirations.

Encouraging Shouto to become his own version of a hero still falls in line with what Endvr ultimately wants, which is for Shouto to be a hero capable of surpassing All Might. Whereas this is what happens when Touya continues to train to do that against his father’s wishes:

This is where the framing begins to bother me and where Rei’s characterization becomes inconsistent. 

So in this scene from Ch 302, we see Enji abusing his wife for “letting” Touya continue to train, punishing her for her “failure” to stop him. Obviously, none of that is Rei’s fault. If anything, Enji would be more responsible for preventing Touya from hurting himself since he’s the reason his son is hurting himself in the first place.

Moreover, the fact that he hits Rei over this sort of muddies the water of an previously-established narrative. Since the Sports Festival arc, we’ve known that Endvr abused his wife because she tried to interfere with Shouto’s training. It got to the point where she was terrified of her husband and it drove her to a breakdown. Why introduce this new aspect to the abuse, when it was already established that a) he was physically abusive and b) his motivations for abusing her were explicit to the audience? 

I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense that a man who hits his wife for one reason could find another reason to do it and justify his actions to himself. And while the scene does portray Endvr in a bad light to show how wrong his actions are, literally draping his figure in shadow, why does it even dare to suggest the idea that Rei was remiss in her duties as a mother? Again, the scene isn’t even necessary, since the narrative has long-since showed the audience that Enji abused his wife. 

By itself, the scene would read as further exploration of how Rei was victimized and how it affected her children. When you look at it with the chapter as a whole, though? Remember, this is the chapter where Rei claims that all of the family shares the blame in what happened to Touya, displacing some of the blame that rightfully rests on Enji. 

But my major gripe with this scene is how it reframes the sole moment we get of Rei and Touya alone. Because we know that Rei understands Touya, based on her confrontations with her husband in Ch 301 & 302. Rather than encourage him to be what he wants or acknowledge that his father is in the wrong, however, her advice falls in line with what Enji wants -- to stop Touya from training. And this comes after a scene where we see Enji beat his wife when she doesn’t stop Touya from training.

With all that in mind, it could potentially be read as Rei trying stop Touya for the sake of protecting herself and the family -- I don’t think it’s coincidence that in the scene where he hits her that we see Shouto, Fuyumi & Natsuo all as witnesses who are very distressed by what’s happening to their mother -- at the cost of Touya’s need to be validated. And if executed well or at least better than it has here, that wouldn’t be a bad choice of narrative per se, and it would fit into the pattern where the households the villains were raised in -- notably Shigaraki, Dabi & Toga -- mimic the society they live in, just on a smaller scale.

Except. Does that sort of narrative make sense based on what we already know about Rei?

Certainly, it is natural to want to protect yourself under physical and/or emotional duress by appeasing your abuser. This sort of complicated dynamic appears in the Shimura family, too. Just like in the house that Kotaro built, the Todoroki family revolves around the desires of the abuser and is dictated by his whims.

I would argue that Nao does give us a well-written example of this narrative. From the beginning, it’s established that she loves Tenko dearly. But in the house her husband built, there’s no room to love her son as he deserves. She prioritizes the feelings of Tenko’s father for the sake of maintaining peace in the household and this is established quickly and plainly.

Early on in the flashback, Kotaro exerts his control over the house, while Nao + her parents look uncomfortable. Despite this, we watch as they comply with his rules, all at the expense of Tenko’s feelings. When she stands up to Kotaro at last, it is not where Tenko can see and already too late. It’s a painful story, full of regret and sadness, but it is consistent from start to end. Nobody feels out-of-character or there to prop up anybody else.

So why doesn’t Rei feel as consistent in this narrative?

Because it doesn’t fit with everything we knew about Rei prior to her abuser’s subpar redemption arc.

The way she interacts with Touya would make sense, if this was how she was portrayed from the start. However, her behavior in Shouto’s flashback -- where she was first introduced -- contrasts what we get in the later Todoroki flashbacks.

Let’s compare this to the scenes in Ch 302. Here, Rei interferes on Shouto’s behalf. She advocates for her son in front of Shouto where he can hear. She stands up to his bully/villain and tries to protect him, while also validating his feelings in the process. Directly after this, Enji hits her, not for failing to comply with his demands, but for defying him. 

It is difficult to reconcile this Rei with the Rei we get in Ch 302. And if you try to find an in-story reason for the inconsistency, the options either do a disservice to Rei or make things even more painful for Touya. But I’m sure most of you have realized that I’m going to suggest a reason for this inconsistency that goes beyond the canon.

Because when Rei was first introduced in the story, Endvr was unequivocally the villain in the Todoroki family, not some misguided patriarch trying to atone for his “past” mistakes. Years later and in the midst of his redemption arc, the narrative seems to be intent on making this man more palatable to readers, and it’s used Rei at every opportunity to prop up his efforts to be better. Often, though, it takes some of the heat off Enji by displacing it onto other family members, most significantly Rei & Touya.

Like, you can literally see the difference in the frame from early in the manga to now:

Ch 39: Endvr trains his five-year-old to the point where he’s throwing up due overextension and being punched by a fully grown adult who is also his father. Rei tries to protect her son and gets slapped by Endvr. All the blames rests squarely on Endvr, who is clearly the aggressor and painted as the villain here.

Ch 302: Endvr hits Rei for not preventing Touya from sneaking out to train, knocking her to the ground. Again, Endvr is clearly the aggressor, but oh this time it’s not driven solely by his selfish desires it’s also cocnern for his son; Rei is the victim but oh she also should have been watching him more closely, and oh well why was Touya going out in the first place, when everyone has told him to stop and he knows his mom will get punished for it?

Honestly, I can understand where some people have mixed feelings over Rei’s character, particularly since the writing has done her such a disservice recently. With that being said, however, it takes a minimum amount of critical thinking to recognize that while you can criticize some choices she made, you cannot hold her to the same standard of accountability as Enji, it’s absurd. The power imbalance was obviously tipped in Endvr’s favor, always.

It is a shame, too, that we can’t have more discussions that don’t turn into some readers (a lot of whom are attempting to make Endvr sound less horrible than he actually was) trying to demonize her. It’s doubly a shame the story itself doesn’t bother to flesh her out as a person, instead using her as a prop, because the complex relationships she has with Touya -- with all her children, really -- has plenty of room for exploration. 

Like, there was no reason to add this new dimension of resentment due to her spouting Enji’s words back at Touya, when there was already a source of tension supported by previous canon -- the neglect the Todoroki kids suffered because Rei couldn’t be the parent they needed, due to her declining mental health and eventual breakdown.

Or, if you want to complicate their dynamic further, why not add something that focuses on Rei and has nothing to do with Enji? We learn in the flashbacks that Rei agreed to the marriage more-or-less to please her family, lamenting that she “intended to smile through it to the end,” essentially admitting that her hope was she could grin and bear it. It is telling that she had this attitude before entering her marriage; evidently, she was raised with the idea that she should be acquiescent to her parents’ whims and not express herself if she was only going to be contrary. Maybe she didn’t know how to deal with Touya’s very expressive, very emotional outbursts as a result. And her inability to respond would be the exact opposite of what Touya was seeking.

Not to mention that Touya died, and for the last decade, Rei was under the impression she had lost her son forever. He died while she was hospitalized, torn up with guilt over what she did to Shouto, only to find out that her other son died in a frankly horrific manner, and she could do nothing. By the time she would’ve found out, it was too late to even try to do anything. I can’t imagine what she must’ve felt in terms of regret alone, plus her grief. And I’m still mad we were robbed of her reaction to Touya being alive, because now suddenly there is a chance to do something, to change what was once written in stone.

Or what about Touya’s feelings for his mother, that have yet to be given much depth? As the oldest and most aware of his existence, it seems like he was the first to truly understand his mother’s situation and I can’t help but wonder: If Touya knew he vessel for his father’s ambition, and his mother was sold into role of creating/caring for him, did he question her love for him? Once he found out one parent’s love was conditional, it wouldn’t be a leap for him to consider it for the other. And yet if that’s true, Dabi doesn’t appear to hold any ill-will towards her for that. He was angry at her hypocrisy, because he knows she should understand, but her words to him didn’t reflect that.

All of that is fascinating and so much better than what we got in canon, so far at least. I’m hoping for them interact in the present at least once before the end of the series, and I think they will, but as to how satisfying a reconciliation it’ll be, I guess we’ll have to wait to see how the Todoroki plotline progresses from here on out.

[devildomimagines]

Request: HC for MC Who Can’t Eat “Healthy” Foods and Survives on Comfort Foods

Hi Anon who requested this! I hope you don’t mind that I made a new post for this instead of replying to your ask directly. I didn’t want to disclose all of the details from your ask publicly since some of it seemed pretty personal.

Prompt: HC for MC who can't properly eat healthy things, and they survive mainly for comfort foods or snacks. Due to that, they have a vitamin deficiency, and they cannot fulfill it properly because their doctors think that if they gave them vitamin supplements, they'll never start eating properly.

TW: Mentions of eating disorder and complications related.

Belphegor

Kind of gets it, eating can be a chore when he’s too tired to function.

He reaches for foods of convenience to eat quickly and get back to sleep. Probably only gets his nutrients filled because Beel is looking out for him and leaving nutritious snacks nearby in their room.

Belphie might tease you for being picky before you’ve divulged your situation.

Your hurt reactions to his teasing make him second guess what he thought was playful ribbing. 

When you do tell him, he immediately apologizes since you’ve explained that you can’t do anything to change how your body reacts to certain foods.

He’d share what snacks he eats and you two try to find ones you both can eat and offers comfort when you’re not feeling good.

Beelzebub

He likes when everyone eats together and he definitely noticed when you didn’t touch much from the table.

Also given his sin, he’d probably have to be the first one you have to communicate how this has affected your eating habits.

Beel offers to get together a varied assortment of foods for you to try. Anything you don’t want he can eat but so you can try to find something from the Devildom that you might like.

Just the idea of that much food made you queasy and quickly shut the idea down, letting him know you have tried a lot of things already.

He asked for a list of foods that you do like so he knows to both keep them around but also not eat them himself so you have them when you do feel up to eating.

Using the list of foods, if you’re ok with it, he will try to find things that are similar to them for you to try just to help try to give you some kind of variety in your diet.

Asmodeus

He’s probably an advocate for vitamins once you tell him about your experiences with doctors refusing to offer them.

Not only does it make things more convenient but getting the proper nutrients is vital for the care of your body.

Asmo wouldn’t care what you were eating as long as you were eating something.

He’d worry about you getting sick or not eating at all and passing out so he’d defend you if anyone questioned why you were eating the same food that you ate earlier.

Asmo gets you vitamins from the human realm to help you out. May or may not have involved Solomon to smuggle them into the Devildom haha

He really just wants you healthy and happy to live a long life.

Satan

With his own research and connections to restaurant owners he knows his way around a kitchen.

As a problem solver, he would probably offer different tactics to help at first thinking it was similar to being a picky eater. With a sad smile you would agree to try with him but gave him a warning that you’ve tried a lot before even meeting him.

He quickly learned this was much deeper than he had assumed. 

He apologizes for making light of the situation and offers to help in any way he can, whether it’s looking for explanations in the medical field or trying to find resources for you that you didn’t have in the human realm.

He’s considerate of your needs of keeping the lights at a lower level to mitigate your light sensitivity and consults Asmo to help take care of your skin. Would not out you to Asmo if you wanted to keep it between the two of you.

Satan would come to your defense and cover for you if any of his brothers asked why you didn’t eat or if you didn’t join them for a meal.

Leviathan

He would first notice that part of his snack stash was missing. After Mammon’s denial of stealing from him, you felt guilty and came clean with a confession and explanation.

He nods along, he would be understanding of the situation and starts to stock extras for you.

Beel worries about you both getting the necessary vitamins and minerals and at Beel’s behest you look into supplements.

Levi’s pretty good at research when he puts his mind to it and has a list of top 5 options for humans and demons for you two to review with Beel to find what you’ll be able to stomach and will fill your daily needs.

Unfortunately you can’t stand to watch Levi gaming or recommended anime for long without getting a migraine from the flashing lights of the screen. 

He’d understand and enjoys just being in the same room together. Eventually he tires himself out and he’ll join in whatever has your attention at the time.

Mammon

He tries to play the part of the responsible older brother asking why you weren’t at dinner or commenting on only eating snacks.

When you initially blow him off by giving non answers he gets offended. He knows excuses when he hears them. Though usually it’s him giving the excuses to get out of trouble.

He’s basically got you cornered when you finally reveal why you don’t want to and can’t eat with the others.

Mammon completely shifts from accusatory to worrying about you. He asks a lot of questions to get familiar with what you do like to eat, things that you have tried, your experiences with doctors, family and friends.

By the end of his questions, he’d consider himself an expert on you. 

He’ll stop on his way home to get you some of the snacks you like and he’ll distract his brothers if they start catching on and you don’t want them to know. 

Lucifer

Out of all of them he may know about your health issues. Then again, if your doctors refuse to acknowledge it then it might not have been included in your dossier.

Once you’ve yielded the information, he would take it on himself to see to it that you’re getting the required daily nourishment in a “I know best” kind of fashion that’s very typical Lucifer.

As a good sport, you’d go along with his attempts but he pushes your boundaries of what you can handle and it causes you to break down.

He happens to pass your bathroom where he hears your retching and sobs.

Basically breaks down the door and seeing you in such a state breaks his heart, even more so since he quickly deduces he was the one that caused it. He’d crumple to the floor beside you, wrap you in his arms and swears to do better.

In his eyes, eating anything, whether it’s “healthy” or not, is better than this.

[austarus]

Harrison Wells (Eobard Thawne) x Reader Ballistic Confrontations (1/3)

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif belongs to me!

Yes, I’m alive.

*TW: mentions of suicide, drowning, and cutting. Along with Eobard being a dramatic bitch*

Word Count: 3184

Part 2   Part 3

Felicity deadpanned with Harry beside her on one of the Cortex monitors. She had glanced to all her friends. “The bottom line is that we have to catch these parallel-earth goose-steppers.” Everyone was well aware of her dislike towards Nazi’s. The things they had done on this earth to her ancestors and to people like her. Utterly Disgusting.  

“This might help,” Barry stepped in, holding up a blood-stained arrow.

“Is that a kryptonite arrow?” Kara’s sister, Alex, unfurled her arms as she gently took the lethal arrow away from him.

“Yup,” Barry responded with a sigh, hands at his hips while the others rounded together. He felt exhausted from chasing around Eobard while Kara and Oliver dealt with their doppelgangers. Years later and he still wasn’t fast enough to stop the yellow speedster.

“I know I shouldn't have to ask this question, but I have to ask this question.” Felicity interjected with quick words; worry seeded in her chest. “Oliver didn't shoot Kara, did he?”

“Sort of,” Barry replied, further clarifying with a face. The days just keep getting worse and worse with these parallel-dimension-hoppers. “The other Archer and flying woman are Oliver and Kara of Earth-X.”

“When you said that Earth-X was horrible,” Caitlin glanced back at Harry, who had raised a hand in mock defeat, “you might have undersold it.”

“Wait a minute. How- how could there be another Kara?” Alex was thoroughly confused; she was still new to the concept of parallel earths doppelgangers.

“Well, there are 53 Karas, just like there's 53 Kryptons and 53 Earths.” Harry explained simply.

“And the Thawne from our earth is working with them.” Barry gave a look, clearly annoyed at the fact that Thawne was back. Again. Thawne coming back due to time travel and the Speedforce were already giving him a headache just thinking about it all over again.

Caitlin just gave Barry an incredulous look. “He's an idiot.” Harry plainly stated.

Felicity already was thinking up of ways to track them down. “Ok, if that arrow has not-so-Supergirl's blood on it, we c—"

“We could track it using quantum analysis.” Harry cut her off, but she just nodded at his words.

“We could.”

***___***

“Harry, Cait, Iris,” Barry unfurled his arms and gestured to them with his head for a sidebar. The others were busy with Alex in isolating the city for Kara-X’s radioactive blood signatures. Felicity’s specialty. After all, she was able to track a deranged killer with just his face cream. “Whatever happens, (Y/N) can’t know Thawne’s here.” Both scientists gave odd looks to each other at the speedster’s words.

“Barry she’s going to find out one way or another, she’s part of this team too,” Iris voiced, side-glancing the door as if you’d step in at any moment.

“If he’s working with them, she has the right to know.” Caitlin added. “She should know what to expect.”

“Allen, unless you decide to lock her up in the pipeline until this is all over, she’ll find out.” Harry said. “You can’t possibly hide this from her forever.” The genius scientist hinted at the fact that when Barry had run back in time last year, Thawne had been the one to ‘fix’ things when really, he had altered the timeline. A timeline created to suits him and his plans. Even going as far to tell Barry that this was how the timeline was supposed to be before Thawne had caused the alteration when he had time-traveled back to kill Nora and escalated into what is now Team Flash. Three different timelines had been created, but this one, according to Thawne, is how the original one should have been. Just with a few… absences… Like Eddie and Ronnie. Barry had never mentioned any of this to you or the fact that Thawne had ended up escaping him that night. The scarlet speedster did not want you looking for the man in the yellow suit. But it seems that fate’s not on Barry’s side this time.

“Harry, I can’t have her chasing after him. Not with all this going on,” Barry protested. “One maniacal problem at a time.”

“Whether she does or doesn’t is up to her, Allen. You’re not a god.” Harry pursed his lips before heading to the side lab.

Barry ran his tongue over his lips tightly, frowning deeply at the echoed words. He didn’t need this right now. Those words stung the speedster, mainly with the aftermath of his time remnant – Savitar - claiming god-hood, wanting to alter everything and anything in his way to stay alive. Even to kill the love of his life. Jay Garrick told him that when he ran back to this timeline a year ago. ‘We’re not gods, Barry.’

How did Wells know about that? Maybe he didn’t. But it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that time-traveling powers shouldn’t be abused like that. Yet… Thawne always gets away with it. He gets away with barely a scratch. I can be one step ahead, but he’ll be 15 steps further.

Caitlin gave her friend a sympathetic look, exchanging one with Iris. Alex and Felicity were still present in the room, but too preocuppied with their blood sample. Barry’s intentions made sense, but it was your decision whether to chase after Thawne or not. It’s your choice on whether you’d even side with him for this battle.

***___***

You had stood right outside the Cortex in the corridor, your feet stopped when you heard Barry announce that “Thawne is working with them”. Your heart got caught in your chest. Eobard was here. He was back. But why in the hell would he ever work with Nazis? Nazis? Seriously Eo??? What the absolute fuck? You knew Eobard never had a tolerance for people like that. People like Eiling or Stagg, who would “poke fun” at those with disabilities, even if he had feigned his inability to walk in the end. People who would intentionally use their status to torture others. It just goes to show how people with that kind of caliber would think. So why this sudden change? Not ‘why now’. No, why at all?? How could he have stooped so low? That idiot. Unacceptable.

But what ached the most was Barry’s words. He doesn’t trust me… Even after all these years. Your heart shook and eyes narrowed as your eyes peered at the light being cast from the Cortex. You took in a breath. Taking a quiet step back, your feet carried you to one of the higher levels of STAR Labs- one of the tower levels. Your quiet place of refuge when this had gotten too much, whether it was because the shadows kept you safe from judgment or not, you didn’t know. If he wants to act like that, then two can play this game, Bartholomew Henry Allen. You looked out onto the city, subconscious scanning every light – every street. Lights winked in and out, the night progressing as the city remained unaware of the new monsters it currently hid. But what am I going to do?

***___***

Iris rubbed her eyes before taking a step closer to her almost-husband. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I can’t have (Y/N) fighting with us. Not now. Not in this battle.” Not when he’s lurking around.

“Why?”

“You know why? Thawne’s out there. Running, scheming.”

“So, you don’t trust her.” It was more of a statement rather than a question.

“Iris, she knew what he did to my mom. Lied to us about it for months back then and still chose Thawne when we locked him up. What makes this time different?”

“Barry, while all those sound like good points, first and foremost she’s our friend.” The speedster just shook his head, Iris huffed, “Look, it’s been -what?- 3? 4 years? Since she’d last been with him? Things have changed. You think after everything we’ve been through; she’ll throw that all away?”

“Yes! Old feelings come back; they always do and she’s going to get her revenge.”

“How do you know that? How do you know that she wants revenge?”

“Thawne will coax it out of her. He’s good at manipulating a person’s feelings.”

“And what would she get in the end?”

Barry didn’t answer her, instead he wrung his hands together.

“Barr, if she had wanted revenge, she would have done so already after the incident. But she didn’t. (Y/N) was depressed after Thawne was erased. Vulnerable. The love of her life was gone, just like that. Don’t you remember? How she wanted to end it all, but we stopped her.” Barry’s eyes flickered to the ground, remember the sight he had seen. Drowning. You were purposefully drowning yourself in your tub. The way your looked back at him- lifeless- when he had gotten you back to your senses. The blood the dripped, your cold skin. The monitor beeping every so often in the Cortex. Iris’ own mind shifted to when she had seen the scars littered on your arms when Caitlin had fully examined you. Your dull hair and gaunt face, nothing like the brilliant fire that rang through you months prior to Eobard’s erasure. “We helped her work through it when we found out. Caitlin and I looked after (Y/N) every second of the day until she was ready to get back on her two feet. And then Zoom happened and he was breaking you. Breaking your bones and your spirit- when you broke your back, she was all-hands-on-deck to step in and help in your place while still dealing with her own issues.”

“I know, it’s just- something just tells me otherwise with Thawne here.”

“Barry-”

“-She’s going to choose him, Iris. Nothing will change that. To her, everything we’ve been through until this point won’t mean anything. Not when Thawne’s at the end of the tunnel waiting for her. She’s going to choose him and help him.”

“But what if she doesn’t? What then, Barr?”

Barry just shrugged. “I-I don’t know, but I can’t take any chances. Not this time.” I can’t hesitate with Thawne here. One misstep and that’ll be all he needs to make his move.

Iris reached out to her fiancé, gently caressing his cheek. She knew that he won’t change his mind, no matter the reasons she could come up with. Barry thought in absolutes when it comes to Thawne. And your past emotional ties with the evil speedster only further drove his current mistrust. “Come on, we have to help the others.”

***___***

You threw the ball against the concrete wall opposite to you, all your strength forced into it. The stress ball ricocheted back to where you sat. You caught it with ease, giving it a firm squeeze as your eyes shut.

“How could you betray us? We were your friends, your family!-”

“You are-”

“We stood by you!”

“I just-”

“-Just what!? He took everything from me!”

You cringed at the voice from years past. Breathe in, breathe out.

“You’re just as guilty as him. No wonder, like calls to like.”

“I-”

“I don’t want your excuses.”

Breathe in, breathe out.

“I hope you rot with him.”

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Swallowing harshly, you did your breathing exercises to push Barry’s cold voice away. You had stolen the malleable ball from Harry- or rather, he had allowed you to take it from him. It was an unused gift from the others for Harry to deal with his anger issues. Instead of throwing beakers and graduated cylinders off desks, the Earth-2 scientist can simply channel his anger into this stress ball… Which had been a hard pass for him. Rather he preferred his method of anger outbursts, even if he did end up hurting himself in the process. So you put it to use instead; a tool for simple meditation, as well as the redirecting your certain senses. It’s made of rubber polymer so your electrokinesis didn’t harm your new toy in any way.

Your eyes lingered back onto the city, your arm hanging over your bent leg while your other remained outstretched. No good in hiding up here forever, it’ll make things more suspicious. Not like Barry isn’t suspecting anything anyway. But you had needed time to think, to collect your thoughts and assess what actions you would take. You touched the necklace Eobard had made for you in rich gold- a Columba. It’s a constellation signifying the dove in astrology as he always called you his little birdy. But also, because gave him a sense of peace which the dove has generally symbolized fore. A finger ran over the one of the six diamonds that twinkled for the constellation, connected to each by a trail of gold. Eobard. Licking your lips, you got up, you pocketed your ball and brushed any dust particle from your leggings.

Upon entering the Cortex, a group of heroes left: Oliver, Kara, Barry, Sara, and so on. Barry had shoved past you, your eyes meeting briefly as you raised an eyebrow. His expression was guarded, but you said nothing.

“I’m guessing they’re going on a little midnight excursion?” You turned to Felicity and Iris with a thumb pointing in their direction. Mick was nowhere to be found so you can assume he’s already raided the lounge fridge. Caitlin had already prepped the med bay for incoming injuries, which isn’t an uncommon expectation, but wasn’t in the Cortex.

“Ding ding ding, you’re correct,” Felicity piped up, typing away at her computer screen. She was already hacking into cameras around the warehouse as the inside had ones out of commission. “The remaining Legends are to be on standby, should something happen during the warehouse fight. Per Sara’s orders.” At least Felicity isn’t treating you any differently, especially with how close she is to Barry. He probably told her to.

“And we’re going to be…?” You raised an eyebrow, a bit offended no one decided to volunteer you for the fight. You wanted to kick some Nazi ass too. Fry those fuckers. Guess Barry told them all to not trust me. Great, thanks Barr. Bitterness welled up inside but didn’t show it. Felicity and Iris aren’t the ones to be at odds with. Maybe it’s a good thing if Eo’s there. Barry would have his eyes all over your interaction with him.

“Just doing some monitoring and staying on comms. The usual Overwatch stuff,” Felicity smiled up at you then quickly turned to her tech. You could tell that her mind was wondering. About what? You had no clue and decided it’d be best to not involve yourself should things go sour if you did and Barry would find a reason to blame you.

No, this reunion needed to be on the downlow. One away from prying eyes. Your eyes drifted to Iris’ back in a subtle manner before pulling out your phone to check the time.

“Where’s Harry?” You asked, if anything he was one of the people who hadn’t seen you for just your past. Didn’t care for it as Zoom terror and Jesse’s rescue were more pressing matters. And you had seen him for more than a doppelganger to Eobard, even if their tendencies and bristliness seemed similar. Harry was Harry and Eobard was Eobard. Both were their own men, it wasn’t that hard to see and understand. He had done his own share of horrors and dark deeds for Jesse that Harry was dealing with his own darkness, while your demons haunted you. In an odd way, you both understood one another. Begrudgingly at first, though. Plus, you needed to return the stress ball back to him, thinking he’d need it now with Thawne around. If anything, you found it funny how Harry got mad when people would call Thawne a Wells. The Wells doppelganger would spectacularly blow up, which was always a site to see. Though you were hoping the two would never meet. You chewed on the inside of your cheek on how that interaction could possibly go. Would you-

“He’s probably back in his lab,” Iris spoke up from the other side of the Cortex, padding up to you. You nodded at her, mind drifting once more as you strolling to the Cortex exit. Harry could hold his own, but up against Eo, with all his speed… You’d choose-

“Hey,” Iris stopped you, snapping you out of your thoughts and placing a hand on your arm. You blinked. A small smile was woven on her face, one of those comforting smiles that said that you can come to her for anything… But could you?

“Hey,” you returned it, feigning any indication that you had overheard what Barry had said earlier. Schooling your features, you calmed your nerves. I’ve done this before. Pretended not to know. I can do it again. I can’t trust no one, and it seems like no one can trust me. I’ll be the actress again in this drama, spun by Barry this time.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure”

Iris was perceptive, she didn’t miss the slight strain in your voice. The guarded look that the young journalist had become accustomed to receiving when approaching you. There were times where she’d realize you were walking on eggshells with her. Because of Barry. Because of the serrated words he had thrown at you like knives all those times ago. But there were times where all was well with the world, the past forgotten and the strength of your friendship with the team more prominent than ever.  Then again, having Nazi’s return and who are hell bent on ruling this Earth by eradicating its heroes then move on to the next Earth in the multiverse does tend to throw tension into the air. Iris bit her lip. Especially if she doesn’t know about Thawne.

“(Y/N), look there’s… there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“…”

“Iris, is something wrong? Are you ok?”

She noted sincerity on your face. “Thawne’s here.”

You pursed your lips, internally confused. “Iris-”

“And he’s fighting with the Earth-Xers.”

“I… what?!” Your rage was not false. Sure you knew about it earlier, but now it was necessary to unleash it. It’d make your surprise all the more legit.

“I needed you to know,” Iris swallowed.

“How?”

“When Barry, Oliver, and Kara intercepted their heist.”

“…” It was your turn to be silent. You knew, but you had to play a little longer until you could leave.

“I trust you, ok?”

“But” You knew there was a ‘but’. There always is one. Iris blinked, opening her mouth a few times then looking away before meeting your gaze once more.

“But I need to know you’re with us on this.”

Your eyes never left hers, your hand was held in both of hers. Before you could even respond an alarm had gone off. Both your necks snapped to Felicity, who snapped up from her sitting position.

“That was the corridor alarm.” Fear crippled its way in the air. “This is a setup.”

[williamaltman]

The truth about Wanda's family and ScarletVision in WandaVision:

So, it has been a while since the show aired, but to this day, I think a lot of people don't quite understand the logistics of all that happened. Mainly, in regards to the existence of Vision and the twins. A lot of people still think that they're "not real". What exactly counts as real might be a bit subjective, but they're not "fake" in the sense that a lot of people seem to think. A lot of those misconceptions seem to come from the fact that in the comics, Wanda's twins are said to "not be real". This comes from the fact that their souls come from a shard of Mephisto's, and after Pandemonium comes to take those shards back, they're gone. In the show however, as we know very well, there's no Mephisto. So how do the twins exist? According to Agatha in episode 9, the Scarlet Witch is a being capable of "Spontaneous creation". Right before, she says "Your children, Vision, this whole world you created... This is chaos magic, Wanda." So how do the twins and Vision exist? Simple, Wanda created them. They're not fake. They're not "an illusion". In fact, it is established many times that everything inside the Hex is REAL, not an illusion. As per Monica, in episode 5: "It's not an illusion, Wanda is rewriting reality" "Wanda's twins are hers. Everything might look fake on the TV, but everything in there is real" So why do they disappear without the hex? If they're real, shouldn't they stay alive? Again, Agatha explains: "You tied your family to this twisted world, and now one can't exist without the other." Wanda's mistake was that the creation of Vision and the twins was made a part of the same spell that created the Hex. So if she takes down the hex, she takes them down along with it. It seems like a lot of people miss the fact that, Agatha explains the situation clearly to her, and then offers to make a deal with her: If Wanda gives her her power, she'll correct the flaws in Wanda's spell and allow her to live happily with her family. The whole time that they're fighting and Wanda is shooting her power at her, Agatha thinks she's doing that as part of their deal. But we then learn that Agatha was lying, as she then tells Wanda: "About our deal... Once a spell is cast, it can never be changed. This world you created will always be broken." Which also explains the criticism of "Why didn't Wanda just keep the hex at her house?". She can't. The spell can't be changed. She either keeps it as is, or undoes it. No in-between. Now, more in regards to ScarletVision. I've seen some takes about their relationship in the show that are... Wrong, or at least questionable. >"Wanda is having sex with an illusion of Vision/a mind-controlled Vision/forcing him to be with her" Vision is not an illusion. He's a real person (synthezoid) with his own life and mind and free-will, exactly like the original Vision. The reason he disappears along with the hex is already explained above. Wanda is not mind-controlling Vision, or forcing him to do anything. Because he and the twins were created inside the hex, they don't need to be mind-controlled to fit in on the sitcoms, and they're also straight-up immune to Wanda's powers as shown when she tries to make the twins sleep, and as said by the creators in many interviews. In episode 5, there's the "You can't control me the way you do them" "Can't I?" which a lot of people misunderstand and take it as Wanda having control over Vision. But she doesn't. Her "Can't I?" is referring to what she does next: Rolling the credits, to end the episode. It doesn't affect Vision's mind at all. It also just doesn't work, as Vision is able to stop the credits when he continues to argue with her. And as we find out next episode, even changing the decade doesn't take away Vision's memories and knowledge of there being something wrong in WestView. >"Do Wanda and Vision have sex? Can they?" This one is kind of a tangent, but, I've seen a couple arguments about the scene in episode 2 where they go under the covers in bed. First of all: Yes, they obviously had

sex. The implication of the scene is pretty clear. Vision makes a suggestive face to Wanda and tells her to turn off the lights, right after she turned their separate beds into a double bed. The reason they have separate beds is that couples in actual 60's sitcoms did. Because them being in the same bed, implied, well, sex. There's just also no other way to interpret them going under the blanket and moving and turning off the lights especially after the faces they make at each other, so I'm not sure why there's even an argument about this. And yes, the fact tha Wanda gets pregnant at the end of the episode DOES help with that. Yes, Wanda gets pregnants with her powers... But that's not the story she wants, she wants it to be as if she and Vision can just naturally have children. So, when she has sex with Vision that night, that should be the point where the twins are really "conceived." >"But how can they have sex if Vision is a robot and doesn't have a-" Just think about it... Vision, with his powers, can create his own clothes. Full-on outfits. His whole costume and a cape. He's able to change from that to his casual turtleneck outfit. He can even alter his whole body to look human. It's just logical that he's also able to create a penis. Besides that, Paul Bettany and even Lizzie got asked about that and Vision's sex life a bunch of times. And every time they have said that, yes, Vision can change his density, Vision can create a penis, they do have sex somehow... Note that, when Wanda does get pregnant, they don't question anything about how "But how can she be pregnant if we don't do that?", but rather just "How is she months pregnant in a matter of 12 hours?". It's true that Vision as a synthezoid shouldn't be able to impregnate her at all, but if Wanda got pregnant without them even having sex AT ALL, that would definetely be more of an issue rather than just how fast the pregnancy has advanced. >"But that doesn't matter, cause Wanda's pregnancy is psychological". No. How is it psychological if the children are actually born? I guess the logic here is that both the pregnancy and the twins she give birth to are fake, and "an illusion", but that has already been established as NOT being the case. And then part of that comes from misunderstanding the storyline in the comics. Wanda's pregnancy was not psychological. She actually got pregnant and unlike the show had a normal 9 months pregnancy. The idea that the twins were fake originally came from them being shards of Mephisto (which was a retcon btw). And then, when Bendis came to write House of M, he wanted to frame Wanda as being crazy and unstable. So he emphasized the idea of them not being real to make it seem like part of Wanda's mental issues, and also went with the narrative that a pregnancy and babies created through magic were inheretly not real. But that's only the interpretation of one write in a couple stories. He also said "chaos magic" wasn't real, and then other comics dismissed that and said that it was. And then, they turned out to be real enough that they were able to be reincarnated into Wiccan and Speed. So, even in the comics, Wanda's pregnancy isn't exactly fake or psychological. Even if you still see it that way though, the show is NOT like the comics. It has its own logic, which, to come back to the beginning, is that: Wanda's powers make her capable of "spontaneous creation". She fully created the twins and Vision as living people. She made the mistake of tying their existence into the hex, so when she undid the hex, which was a spell that ALTERED REALITY rather than created illusions, they were gone along with it.