#Mom Humor

[themisinformer]

America Celebrates Mother’s Day By Cutting Childcare, Family Benefits

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a touching display of appreciation, the United States has celebrated Mother’s Day this year by passing sweeping cuts to childcare programs, family assistance subsidies, and parental leave.

“Today, we honor the selfless, hardworking mother’s of this great nation,” said House Speaker Mike Johnson moments before introducing a bill that would eliminate government funding for childcare centers “to encourage good old fashioned parenting.”

The bill also includes provisions to reduce access to paid parental leave, arguing that “real moms” wouldn’t need a break after childbirth if they “weren’t so lazy and had more grit.”

“To all the mother’s out there, we see you. We love you,” Johnson continued. “This is the one day of the year where we get to show appreciation to you, which is why we’re cutting programs in order to spice things up and make your job a bit more stimulating.”

Meanwhile, millions of mothers from across the nation have been treated to breakfast in bed, followed by being forced to clean the kitchen afterwards. Many mothers reported feeling deeply moved by the nation’s ability to express love through Instagram tributes while sitting back and watching them do all the real work.

“It’s nice to be appreciated once a year with Eggo waffles and the lack of government aid,” said Andrea Lopez, a mother of three and full time janitor at a local middle school. “It makes me feel really seen. Not by the government, but at least my husband and kids tried to make this day feel special.”

[toruandmidori]

Mother’s Day 2024 is on 12th May, less than a month to go!

Get ahead of the nagging this year and sort your cards out today. 

We have a wide range of disarmingly adorable and alarmingly inappropriate vintage and retro style Mother’s day cards in store. 

Perfect gifts for long suffering moms - all cards are left blank inside for your own message / apology. 

Shop the whole collection here, individual links below: 

YOU CAN STOP NAGGING NOW

SORRY ABOUT ALL THE STRETCH MARKS

WE ARE EVEN

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY BS

AIN’T GONNA CLEAN ITSELF

THE BEST I’VE GOT

HAPPY YOU GAVE BIRTH DAY

DAY DRUNK

[i-promise-i-am-not-on-drugs]

My mom just send me this, and I thought it was funny so I wanna show it here.

[traduction : "He's a dumbass. But he can read. But he's a dumbass."

"2 wheels" (which is how we call all kinds of two-wheeled vehicles)]

[thesimplefolk]

And here we've been thinking our mom's the only one!

[its-all-down-hill]

[chasingbalanceandchaos]

A Day in the Life of a Personal Support Worker: Embracing the Chaos, Heart, and Humanity 💙

As I sit here writing this, I find myself reflecting on what my day was like. You see, working as a personal support worker (PSW) isn’t just a job—it’s a calling. It’s about more than just providing physical care or helping someone with their daily routines. It’s about showing up every single day and embracing the unpredictability of each person’s needs. For those of you who might not be…

[theknucklehead]

I grew up reading Calvin & Hobbes, and one of my favorite running jokes was the snowmen that Calvin would build.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Why Michael watches soap operas in FNAF

[itsterricasallee]

I’m not mad, it’s just my face🤪

[detectivefunny]

maybe there's a universe where my mother is a successful youtuber and her captions with her 10 Million subs YouTube Play Button is “10 Million loyal subscribers....1 useless son”

[toruandmidori]

Give them the reward they deserve this Mother’s day (12th May) with our new disarmingly honest vintage style greetings card.

Cards are left blank inside for your own message / apology. 

Great gifts for long suffering moms this Mother’s day. 

Buy online here

[momcave]

Why Mommy Drinks: A Trip Down Memory Lane | Momcave LIVE

Embark on a hilarious journey into the chaos of motherhood with Betsy Stover and Jen on MomCave LIVE. Brace yourself for laughter and relatable moments as Betsy, the UCB improv teacher and mom of three, teams up with Jen to unveil the secrets behind “Why Mommy Drinks.” In this candid discussion, they reminisce about improv class days, share the challenges of raising teenagers, and dive into the…

[mollybeenoel]

Source

[deviouslittlecreature]

I'm crying this cover is actually so fucking funny I can't stop laughing at it

[imheretoreadafic]

There is an absurd amount of juice boxes in the Watchtower.

At first, they thought J'onn was the one purchasing and stashing them. It made sense. They're good for when you have low blood sugar, are dehydrated or lost blood. They're also tasty! And everyone knows how much J'onn likes sugary drinks and snacks.

But when Clark asks J'onn where he buys them, he gives him an odd look and says, "I do not purchase those."

Everyone interrogates him about who it is, but the alien is nothing but a man of his word and apparently promised whoever purchased them he wouldn't tell. It becomes a whole thing, obviously, because they won't let it go.

Bets are made about who the Juice Giver is. The younger members ask the Juice Giver for good luck before going on missions, and the older members are trying their absolute hardest to figure it out.

Then, Nightwing joins temporarily for a global wide meta human and alien kidnapping ring and is loopy from blood loss after being stabbed and stitched up. Batman is by his side in the medical area, cooing softly to him. Then, he pulls a juice box out of his belt.

Wally, who was also injured and is getting patched up on the cot next to them, gasps at the recognizable juice box brand. "YOURE THE JUICE GIVER!!" He literally screams, making Nightwing jump.

Batman's eyes widen, and he goes to shush him, but it's too late. Everyone with super hearing is busting through the door, and everyone else is following them. He sighs and resigns himself to the following chaos while helping his kid not stab himself in the eye with his straw.

[chasingbalanceandchaos]

The Gift That Always Wins: Why Amazon Gift Cards Are My Go-To Present  🎁

After attending what feels like dozens of birthday parties over the years…hello, parent life! I’ve finally figured out the gift that never fails: an Amazon gift card. It took me a while (and a lot of late-night store runs ) to realize that while kids love opening presents , parents really love flexibility. With an Amazon gift card, they can buy exactly what their child wants or needs, whether…