#Neurodivergent life

[mekanikaltrifle]

Pouring one out for the neurodivergent folks who struggle to read tone in text in an increasingly online era of communication. For whom emojis and tone indicators don't quite cut it, who frequently misread things or are misunderstood ourselves. For whom socialising is already hard and text messaging makes it even harder. I'm thinking of you. Me too. It's hard, isn't it?

[cattistic]

Thoughts on Masking

I've been masking since i knew about my ASD diagnosis, which was at age 10.

Ever since i was told i had ASD, i knew i would have to deal with some shame because i was a super violent kid when i was young and i still am, but to lesser frequency now.

Like, i wouldn't be able to deal with my sensory overloads, not even a little, as a child. Immediately, i'd be scratching, hitting or slapping adults and throwing items at just about everyone then running away.

Or i'd be forced into a dark place because i was having a meltdown, which was violent because i'd be hitting anyone that came close to me and kept there until i shut up and focused solely on the dark which was scary back then.

That was when i was still in another SPED school because i was definitely not ready for my old Elementary school. They put me there so they could have me school ready, which happened, thank god, when i got into Grade 4.

These experiences of my violence and later regret has scared away potential friends out of my classmates, and they have been isolating me out of fear.

So, that's why i masked the entirety or the majority of the time that i was at my elementary school. I was violent and could possibly hurt a classmate that i deem to be a friend of mine, since i still had somewhat frequent meltdowns.

I was literally just trying to mask my meltdowns because they were the most violent and visibly autistic thing i could do, but i was also ashamed of the fact that i really needed services and i needed a lot of those services just to enter the classroom before i was fully mainstreamed again near my graduation.

I still remember those times today, and i'm a high schooler. That was why i still isolate myself from everyone, mostly other students, in fear of my having another meltdown and thus scaring away more potential friends away.

But i now notice that my masking has taken a toll on me, and it hasn't yet because i only isolate but not mask my other symptoms. So i don't support masking your entire autism, just some parts like i had to.

[t0mies-b0dy]

There's something so goddamn rewarding about being able to navigate grocery stores and errands like an adult instead of a mildly functioning neurodivergent like fuck yeah lookit me i'm a human person >:D its like bein a spy or smth and finally blending into the crowd.

And I don't mean to sound like an ableist ass while saying this, I'm a barely functioning neurodiv as well, and its still taking me a bit to admit that, to a degree, I have certain needs that neurotypical society doesn't really offer unless that neurodivergence is obvious. For people with invisible disabilities or high masking tendencies (like me, who didn't even grasp the concept of neurodivergence til I hit my 20s) it's a whole new challenge. Because on top of looking close to normal on the surface, you have people you go to about these sensory issues and get shit like "well try [neurotypical blanket solution here]!" and you do and its like fitting a screw with the wrong screwdriver, it just doesn't work that well.

It's when you find your own solutions to these issues (typically after months of trial and error) and see that ohmyfuckinggod this is what they were on about.

[ruby-eats-window-panes]

Skincare is sensory hell

hey fellow autistic babes how tf do i do skincare when it makes me want to die???? Sensory tips any1?? Rinsing my face feels like I'm drowning and having moisturizer near my nose and mouth makes me feel so gross. My skin is so bad and doing skincare is so hard on me i barely do it all or avoid it so hard I end up not even brushing my teeth(also sensory hell) or do other important routine shit. Can anyone else out there relate?

[thehappyfeminist-22]

I embarked on a small personal project today. One of the quirks of my neurodivergence is that if I don't have certain things (clothes, jewelry, grocery items, books, ect.) displayed or hung up where I can see them, I'll forget they exist and I end up not using/wearing/reading them.

My jewelry has been a particular problem because I've never really had a place to display all of it. I've had my necklaces and bracelets in two small jewelry boxes and my earrings in a large zip pouch for the longest time.

So today, I went to Dollar Tree and got some of these cute stick-on hooks (I love the ones that look like wood grain) and hung my necklaces on the wall in my bathroom.

I've had this metal tree for a while and it honestly never occurred to me to use it for a jewelry holder until now. I hung all my bracelets on it and re-discovered some I forgot I had. I also put what few rings I have on this little ring holder next to the sink.

The biggest thing was figuring out a way to display my earrings because, as you can see, I have A LOT of them. I found this holder with clear pockets that hangs on the back of the door on Amazon and it's PERFECT! It has pockets on both sides and I've got room to grow into as I collect more earrings.

I'm so happy with how it all turned out and so proud of myself for getting this one thing organized!

[heresiae]

Another episode of "How fucked up is my brain?"

Today was a very good day, weatherly speaking.

Unfortunately, this neuro divergent ass couldn't enjoy it BECAUSE she's in a deep pit of depression that she realized only quite recently and it's still halfway in the denial stage because, even if she realized that, she hasn't call her therapist yet.

Yes, this ass could be a little dumb sometimes.

Coming back on why she didn't enjoy her Sunday: her depression literally forbid her to do any work for my job Thursday and Friday. TOO BAD she has two deadlines for Monday the 6th (and she thought that the 6th was Tuesday. Sad realization of the Friday night). Of course she thought she could spring a 3 day work on 8 hours (yes, we can; more or less) BUT, thanks to the sad realization of Friday night, that wasn't feasible anymore.

SO, she decided: OK! I will work both days in the weekend!

Of course, Saturday nothing happened. She binge watched Criminal Minds (yes, WE KNOW) till 1AM, because that's how deep in the pit she is.

Today she woke up at noon (as per usual for the weekends) and while procrastinating in bed she came up with the chant "today's the day we make anxiety go away" (yes, it's basic, but hey! whatever works!).

That's because the more I procrastinate the more my Anxiety grow stronger and THAT'S NOT SOMETHING SHE NEEDS.

Result: she was able to do the work of 2 days in less than 8hrs for the first project (yeah, she always quote more time because it's what you do, don't you ever quote real time it takes for you to do shit or you'll never have a breather at work). Too bad she has now a sheet FULL of questions that she could have the answer Thursday already and the project can't be completed without them.

And now it's time for her second project... which she's not sure what task she has to do. According to her calendar, she did a call two weeks ago about one of them but she doesn't remember shit (not surprising since it's been two weeks of ONLY CALLS and she HATED every minute of them). The other one she remember, but not what they said to do in the meeting. So she will now do the second one because it has the biggest probabilities to be the one and tomorrow, she will ask a coworker to review it.

Thank you for following another episode of "How fuck up is my brain?"

[obsessed-sketches]

Does anyone else at school feel as if they're missing something? Like, let's say everyone's brains are cars. Everyone has a slightly different one and all work slightly differently but are all relatively similar.

So, Does anyone ever feel as if they've been given their Brain Car but not the knowledge or ability to drive or take care of it? Where do I find the User Manual?!

Right now, every time my Brain Car breaks down or I crash I am just stuck waiting on the side of the road until someone is able to stop and help me right myself again.

[gornwen]

You don't need Wikipedia, you need seven neurodivergent friends with wildly different special interests.

[dailydivergent]

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

[trudlejack]

(+part 2)

[cattistic]

Losing Skills

Ignore that previous post, it was meant to be queued but i somehow and accidentally posted it anyway. I gave up on it and deleted it, sorry!

Anyway.. I was reading about losing skills from a MSN autistic. They were saying about how they either forget or just lose their skill randomly, and i could relate to that post.

Many skills were lost due to me regressing or me just forgetting because i didn't practice that skill on a consistent basis. Especially swimming. Now, there was a swimming pool nearby before i moved houses, but now i can't find one so i can't go and practice.

I used to know how to swim a bit but it wasn't the best, as in i couldn't keep my head under the water without getting scared and refusing. I was scared because i thought it'd fill up my nose and i'd drown in the water, even if adults were watching me. I genuinely thought it was an assassination attempt, kid me was over active with her imagination.

I mean, i think i'm still pretty sick of drowning because of my nose filling up with water and i'd not be able to pull myself out of the water and thus, i still cannnot swim to this day. I really just use floaties to keep me afloat if ever the floor is deep enough that i'd need to continue kicking to keep myself above the water.

Anyway, explaining this was so i can explain in further details about me losing skills. Especially because i forgot, but i have regressed and lost certain skills before as a kid.

[neurodivergenttales]

The ‘you’re mature for your age’ to sleeping with a bed full of plushies in your mid twenties pipeline is real

[permdaydreamer]

This is for the people who didn’t party in their teens and twenties. For the people who didn’t have that “coming of age” movie experience with shenanigans and revelations. This is for the people who mostly keep to themselves. Who maybe prefer things to be quieter and gentler. This is for the people who don’t feel like they belong in a culture that values loud parties and flashing lights. I see you. And you are valid.

[lordbeebrain]

Idk what this strain is, but the ratio of green:purple just makes me think of the bagged mixed salads you can get at supermarkets… 😂🥴

[lesbeansoups]

bureaucracy - the final boss of any adhd individual

Or as i like to call it "missing a graduation deadline by 12 days due to writing down the wrong date, only to be told that you will receive your actual degree seven months later than anticipated because of this".