#Non binary dragons are fucking real guys

[mittenslikescats]

Y’all the source dragon of life is confirmed to be non binary

Fucking take that homophobes first Cole got a boyfriend and now we have another non binary character

[dragon-business]

Kiryu and Rina

Each meeting with Rina starts with her relationship meter with Kiryu dropping after just one look at his outfit. Girl, it's almost vintage >c

Really rooting for her to enlighten Kiryu about the Agenda and the queer customs. He's having a hard time out there on Kamurocho streets. Kiryu can talk about Goromi with her, it'll ease him into it though socially acceptable talks "about girls". We're 1000% sure Rina opened up to Kiryu in the first place because she sensed the fellow gay in him.

Also we would love to hear Rina's opinions on Kiryu's journey. She is stanning him on his first awkward gay steps. He's trying, and it's adorable. Wanted to say he's taking his “baby steps” at first, but no. He's strolling in big and strong. Kiryu is almost a sugar baby material, look at him.

Rina: you know, people could pay big money to keep you around (: Kiryu: well, actually…

And this is how Rina learns the fun and casual story of a billion yen boy.

Rina nods seriously: some people just have a natural talent for these things, I guess.

And it's true, one day Kiryu's struggling to understand the concept of queerness, the next he's meeting up with the non-binary hostess with killer cheekbones.

And aside from that, Kiryu is fastly becoming a hit among the nightlife crowd and management of Kamurocho. He’s barely out of prison, and already protected male host club employees, that one club owner lady in white dress, got all the SHINE stuff watching his dates with a yakuza patriarch, had the said patriarch rent a whole strip club for a single date.

And they left the place completely wrecked. Oh, the rumours.

(Strip club got thoroughly compensated, even the girls got full shift pay)

Remembering how Kiryu came up to this strip club, and the manager stared at him, mumbling "we've heard so much about you, here, come in, come in"

– So, alright, if Kiryu had his second date with Goromi, then it would make sense for Rina to start pressuring him to go on a casual "date" too (marking the start of her substory). She wants to get all that sweet info, while having a free dinner or karaoke night.

Kiryu probably scared Majima quite a bit with all his forwardness and honesty. So he's gonna be avoiding Kiryu for a bit afterwards to gather his composure. And ofcourse it will make Kiryu think he fucked up somehow. He'll need some scolding and reassurance for sure.

(Majima will not be able to avoid Kiryu for too long, though; the dragon training is still not finished, and it takes precedence over Majima's complicated feelings)

Rina, with a death stare, after Kiryu had his first (and then again the second) date with Goromi: Lemme get this straight. Answer honestly. Are you aware you can date other guys as a guy? Kiryu: O:

He was aware of the concept, but didn't know he could apply it to real- I mean his life. Only after laying it out very clearly it finally clicked.

See, Kiryu had concepts of a "date" and "hanging out" stored separately in his head, each having very strict requirements and rules that (he thought) can't be changed. Like, meeting with telephone club girls in 0, bowling with Majima – Kiryu didn't think of those as dates. For it to be a date there should be the emotional connection, opposite gender present, food, handholding, and other classic movie-esc things. In bowling you only hold a ball.

But being around Goromi created the ideal mix of circumstances that allowed Kiryu to just relax and do and say what he wanted, not what he thought he's supposed to. It was a life changing experience.

Now he just needs a little more info to understand that there is way more to the world of relationships than the old fashioned hetero-normative clichés Kiryu picked up from his not-so-healthy-environment growing up.

- before / navigation / next

[mxbutchtwink]

Tell us about your D&D characters!

*kisses you with tongue* thank you for asking!

I have a couple, they are all constantly being developed

Kainan "Varg" Stanko, a half orc (half something else) barbarian who was raised in poverty and by gangs of bandits. He starts adventuring so he can afford to make a better life for himself. He's chaotic neutral, and covered from head to toe in scars- each one with their own story. I've been working on him the longest (8 page backstory blorbo).

Bramble Beetlewing, a fairy cleric who loves to party. He's and extremely feminine guy with bright pink wings and braided hair. A total hippy stoner who just wants to be gay and do arson.

Quin the bigender human paladin (he/she/they) with long as fuck dreads and a heart of gold. Also autism.

Deale, a butch lesbian albino dragon born who uses sie/ser/sern pronouns. Raised as a knight sie was assigned to a beautiful princess who sie fell in love with. After a very tragic event they were separated from each other, and now Deale has dedicated ser life to protecting others. Oh and sie has a prosthetic leg that I can never draw right.

Leandre Celeste, a high elf non-binary gay boy rogue. Cut off from their family's vast fortune, Leandre has to find a way to provide for themself out on the real world. Which is hard because they've never done a hard day's work in their life, so they mostly rely on stealing and swindling from others to get by.

I've also been working on DnD campaigns I want to DM. And I've even started developing my own ttrpgs, a monster of the week esque one and a star trek ish space opera saga, that I've had a lot of fun with! I love creating stories and choose your own adventure type things.

[ssg-nagareyn]

Nagareboshi

Smooth as a cactus flower

Cold as a supernova

A shooting star among dragons

Nigga I was always the jack of odd balls

I'm sorry, all trades and master of one-of-dones

Life really hasn't been a rave considered fun

It's a game that's pay to win

Pay your debts bitch

Money talks

Cash is king

Credit don't mean shit

You're too far in it to quit

I am nothing without my れ

From a time when all I knew

Was a name that stained my soul

As permanent as the tears I've cried

The night I learned too young

What it was like to stain your lips

From an overly curious boy

That you had called your family for hours

And you were deathly afraid of the consequences in telling anyone

Because “Heaven Knows” it was more of a crime “if I turned out gay” than if I was SA’d

Well it's no fun when you're the one tasting the bitter blade

I weep for my previous name because he

Never had a chance but I am thankful

For him because he birthed me

A birth that I spent too long hiding behind the same mask that I was born in.

I was never him, I never knew what me was.

What I saw on my computer screen were friends being free

Guys wearing skirts who would eventually become beautiful women

Bro I wasn't thinking of any of that I was too busy trying not to get picked on for being a weirdo

A quiet MF who stayed in the corner of the class playing on his Gameboy in lunch breaks

Told that piece of shit called my father that it was the village who raised me from a teen

Some of my best homies I met at one-thirteen are still a touch away if I need them

But not even they know the real me

Because I never knew who that bitch was until the eve of losing my life.

My mother. She was my life.

It has not been be same since that eve.

It's ironic isn't it? I spent two years of my life feeling the most liberated I felt.

The one person who I would be terrified and curious of seeing me like this is not here.

How would you feel? What would you react?

You'd tell me to clean my fucking room first off

You'd gasp and have a heart attack for seeing how I treat your wig

You'd see my photos and those focal points of anger would melt away

Even close confidants of us say that we look alike

Heck, we always did even when I was him

And when I told you I was non-binary you still accepted me even though you didn't get it.

I think you would have been a big help in my path of knowing how to use makeup

How to present myself

I've been going to lounges and open mics, bars and house shows with my friends

Isn't this what you used to do during The Garage and Roseland era?

I find myself protecting my homies much like a guard on standby

But I have fun because I know I'm protected.

So what did you do when you didn't feel protected?

When Jeannie passed, what went through your mind?

You left the apartment in a storm, grabbed your Newports, and I stayed up

I had school the next day but I had a stomach virus

But I didn't want to leave your side the following day and nothing you said was going to get me to go to school

I lied, you woulda forced me but promised me you'd be okay

I couldn't face Jeannie on her deathbed. I couldn't face you with the sheet over your body.

This wasn't meant to be a letter to you!

But…you are me, are you not?

When someone asked if my new name is my birthday, I said, I wasn't sure if I could call it.

But when you gave birth to me, you said it was a second birthday to you, right?

So, maybe, this whole Flow thing…was…like a second birthday for me.

When I lost you… Flow was born…

She…and you…became my second birthday.

That is in my name.

Malik was the middle name given to me by my mother.

My father gave me Naquan. In her words, he felt the name sounded cool.

But Malik had meaning. It meant King.

You looked up to Malcolm X.

That was his name. Malik el-Shabazz

I played Elden Ring two years ago

The main antagonist, her name was Marika.

There are no “Ls” in the Japanese language

So you can see the correlation, Malika, which means queen.

A tragic tale as antagonists don't really exists in that game

Just people with their own duties to fulfill.

But even that felt too similar to my old self.

Reyna was the result of weeks of sitting alone after work, high out of my mind

Because it is the only way I have solace these days.

It means Queen but it's so fucking versatile! Reyn sounds close enough to Nay

Reyna is Re:Nay. Rebirth of Nay

And to emphasis that

The middle name’s Renée

The last name’s Nagare

Because that's just how it flows.

No, seriously, 流れ means Flow.

But if you take the れ away…

It becomes 流 (In person imagine me saying Ryu)

And this is also a part of me because there are many Flows to my essence.

I got many styles, all this time this was a poem

But I'm having a conversation with you

On some crazy stream of consciousness shit

Streams and flows, that's what it means when you take away the れ

But the “Re” is what makes me, me!

Without the Re, I'm not Reyna, a sovereign

I'm Nay without a birthright.

Renée without the Re is stillborn, much like how I spent two-thirds of my life

I can be a shooting star among dragons

But that's not my true calling,

That's like in the Street Fighter movie

Where they gave “Ryu” the name “Ryu Hoshi”

He is not a “Shooting Star” he a “Rising Dragon”

I am the Spark to your Soul among the stars

And my Soul is a fucking Satellitare

Pardon my Italian tongue

But I'm as beautiful as a Rose

And I almost fucking forgot that.

If only I wasn't staring at the Torii gates mentally

Mix my soul with the Spirit Realm

Walking around with a halo over my head

Even Lazuli got caught lacking among the Z-Fighters

No one is wasting a prayer on me with the Dragon Balls

It was a good run but all stars fade.

[kingdarkstalker]

reposting @nate0u0′s thoughts on the flames of hope with her permission!

text reads: “ Basically, the ending is very much an attempt at backpedaling some of the really fucked up implications throughout the arc and it's kind of insulting TBH. Like, there's this whole thing about how the protags are discussing how a lot of the Hivewings are still racist and want to be in the system that benefited them, and it feels less like an idea that was being built to, and one thrown in there to half-assedly apologize for the implications of the narrative up to that point. Like, it's the same issue that I discussed with Sora in my video: where this very natural reaction is treated as a last minute 'twist' and the lack of this theme's presence in any of the scenes where it would have been appropriate isn't just reductive, but actually disingenuously frames the issues being talked about. Like, even if we were to take the ending seriously as an attempt to rectify all the previous framing, it really doesn't work because this entire story has been about how the real threat is the "secret illuminati bad guy in the racism factory" and not the actual serious systemic issues being evoked. Like, to bring up the systemic bigotry only at this point implies that it's a problem we can deal with 'later' when it's actually like... literally the entire source of the problem IRL. It's not just reductive (which is arguably forgivable in a kids' book), it's actively wrong, which isn't really as defensible. 

Plus like, everything else that is there in the main story isn't much better. The non-binary character is introduced essentially being asked "are you a boy or a girl?", the story of the Scorching, again, kind of misunderstands power dynamics. While, at the very least, the fact that the humans committed their atrocities unprovoked is actually given narrative importance and it is framed that the violence committed by the dragons in self defence was more understandable, it still very wrongly has a framing that reactive violence like that IRL is as destructive as the acts committed by those in power. It's like... there's a fundamental misunderstanding that IRL, the violence used to maintain the status quo is always going to be more damaging and more organized, you know? Plus, this is all with me really trying to give the benefit of the doubt... if I were being really uncharitable, I could definitely say that the motivation of the Scorching kind of reads as "Oh, violence is okay when we're trying to secure a future for our white childre- I mean! Young dragonets!" Because like... the fact is... this is really still a story that condemned Sundew and the Leafwings and is only now willing to view violence with nuance when it's about "protecting the children"

[rabdoidal]

i know you listen to a lot of podcasts and ive found some of my favourites from hearing you talk about them! do you have any favourites?

under the cut! my top 10 podcasts at the moment:

Alice Isn’t Dead Genre: horror, thriller, drama, Lovecraftian, Americana Episode count: 30 (completed) Description: A truck driver searches across America for the wife she had long assumed was dead. In the course of her search, she will encounter not-quite-human serial murderers, towns literally lost in time, and a conspiracy that goes way beyond one missing woman. Thoughts: This podcast is, to me at least, completely flawless in every way. I would consider myself a person that listens to a lot of horror podcasts, but Alice Isn’t Dead takes the cake for its depictions of liminal middle America, the horror that is capitalism, and the most tender, realistic depiction of lesbians in any podcast. Anything else I could say would spoil it and for this, I don’t want to spoil it because I want every person alive that can stomach horror to listen to this.

Archive 81 Genre: horror, comedy, sci-fi, Lovecraftian Episode count: 35 (ongoing) Description: Archive 81 is a found footage horror podcast about ritual, stories, and sound. Thoughts: The latest podcast I’ve tried, and it’s definitely one that grows on you. The audio mixing is some of the best I’ve heard in any podcast, and every bump and scratch and hum of frequency weaves to form moments that are truly and viscerally gory. Season 3 and Left of The Dial are my favorites because again, I love Americana horror, and anything that involves family!

Artificial Ghost Radio Genre: non-fiction, discussion, comedy Episode count: 75 (ongoing) Description: Our Sisyphean music recommendation challenge with hosts Miles (he/him) and Jupiter (she/they) challenge each other to find songs based on arbitrary themes and to spin the WHEEL OF DISCORD to talk about a random song from their library! They can be found on twitter @artghostpod. Thoughts: Gotta plug my own podcast! We’re still small, but the people I’ve met from doing AGR has made my life richer and fuller, even through the ups and downs. I recommend starting with #58: Songs about Aliens ft. our friend Liz (@thescaryjokes)!

EOS 10 Genre: medical drama, comedy, sci-fi Episode count: 34 (ongoing) Description: Doctors in space, a deposed alien prince, a super gay space pirate and a fiery nurse who'll help you win your bar fight. Thoughts: It’s been a hot minute since I listened, but as someone that inherently loves things like Star Trek and procedural comedies, EOS 10 is a quick and hilarious listen! Fair warning some of the earlier stuff is a little bit ignorant when it comes to their LGBT characters, but it gets a lot better over time.

King Falls AM Genre: horror, comedy, Lovecraftian Episode count: 100 (ongoing) Description: King Falls AM centers on a lonely little mountain town's late-night AM talk radio show and its paranormal, peculiar happenings and inhabitants Thoughts: I’m a bit behind, but again, gotta love some Alpine American horror! King Falls AM perfectly captures the feeling and sound of listening to a small late night radio show with two bros, but it really goes from typical dude dialogue to heart wrenching found family alien conspiracy real quick. Same as EOS 10, fair warning for some ignorant language and LGBT stereotypes, but they address it and it gets better as it progresses.

Not Another D&D Podcast Genre: actual play Dungeons and Dragons, TTRPG, comedy Episode count: 128 (ongoing) Description: Welcome to the campaign after the campaign! Three unlikely adventurers attempt to right the wrongs caused by a party of legendary heroes who screwed up the world while trying to save it. Thoughts: I’m only like 40 episodes in because they’re thick, meaty ‘sodes, but god is NADDPOD fucking hilarious. I’ve tried a fair few TTRPG shows, but the chemistry and care that the cast has together is unmatched by others in the genre. I’m a complete sucker for shows that are so funny and so tragic in equal measures, and the entire concept of a D&D game set after the world has been so drastically changed by a different D&D game is so unique!

The Faculty of Horror Genre: non-fiction, horror, philosophy, sociology, feminism Episode count: 86 (ongoing) Description: Tackling all things horror with a slash of analysis and research, horror journalists and occasional academics Andrea Subissati and Alexandra West are your hosts for brain-plumping discussions on all things that go bump in the night. Thoughts: A little non-fiction in this list of fiction podcasts! The Faculty of Horror is a concise and educated intersectional feminist podcast, and it’s a breath of fresh air to listen to anyone that isn’t a cishet white guy talk about horror. I highly recommend the episode on Cabin in The Woods or Jennifer’s Body!

The Magnus Archives Genre: horror, office comedy Episode count: 180 (ongoing) Description: The Magnus Archives is a weekly horror fiction anthology podcast examining what lurks in the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organization dedicated to researching the esoteric and the weird. Join new head archivist Jonathan Sims as he attempts to bring a seemingly neglected collection of supernatural statements up to date, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his small but dedicated team. Thoughts: TMA is, similarly to A81, a bit of a slow burn to get into, but I think once you listen to a few episodes you’ll know if you want to continue. It’s a pretty standard prompt for a narrative, but the sheer amount of individual short horror stories they’ve managed to write is insane! And I love the slow break down between recording statements and the stuff happening within the archives. Also one of the best redemption stories in a character that starts off as such a grumpy fuck!

The Penumbra Podcast Genre: sci-fi, neo-noir, romance, comedy, found family, magic, medieval fantasy, adventure, mystery Episode count: 75 (ongoing) Description: At the Penumbra, you might follow Juno Steel, a brooding, sharp-witted private eye on Mars, as he tangles with an elusive homme fatale, tracks dangerous artifacts of an ancient alien civilization, and faces his three greatest fears: heights, blood, and relationships. Or you might enter the world of the Second Citadel, where the merciless Sir Caroline must corral a team of emotionally distraught all-male knights to defend their city against mind-manipulating monsters...even the ones they’ve fallen in love with. Thoughts: On god TPP was a life changing podcast for me. Having creators that are genuinely concerned with accurately representing minorities with care and dedication makes me feel spoiled when I try listen to anything else. The two main universes are so different with their own set of histories and cultures, but I love them both so completely. If you want LGBT+ representation, this is the seminal podcast for everything non-binary, trans, queer, and people that aren’t afraid to change and have that change be known! I haven’t listened to another podcast that actually depicts transitioning like they do, absolute king shit.

Wolf 359 Genre: space drama, comedy, action Episode count: 61 (completed) Description: WOLF 359 is a radio drama in the tradition of Golden Age of Radio shows. Set on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus space station, the dysfunctional crew deals with daily life-or-death emergencies, while searching for signs of alien life and discovering there might be more to their mission than they thought Thoughts: Wolf 359 is like if you fell down the stairs and at the bottom of the stairs was a bear trap, and then after you step in the bear trap someone helps you take off that beartrap, but then they kick you in the nuts. Just replace physical pain with emotional pain. It can be so funny but also so fucking stressful and sad – w359 isn’t afraid to kill its darlings, and it will break your heart but you will still say thank you.

[ranboounlabeled]

Incorrect Quotes

So I had the bright idea one day to make incorrect quotes based on a DnD campaign and the players. Why not post them here? If any of them find this and request this to be deleted, I won’t mind. Blu - DM, any other character you don’t see listed here Tuck - Alzora Autumn/Me - Aria Maria - Yeet Bard - Tad Whipple - Niyana ~ Aria at 3AM: Alzora wake up Alzora, annoyed: What is it? Aria: If butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans/mobians in their stomach? Alzora: The rest of Team Supernova: Niyana: aria what the fuck Yeet: No no, wait. She has a point. Yeet: What if they’re mobian butterflies? Snipe: What if they just feel really tiny butterflies in their stomachs? Niyana: That’s morbid. ~ Aria: is pink panther a lion Alzora: say that again but slower Aria: i don't get it? Alzora: he's the pink PANTHER Aria: okay? but is he a lion? Alzora: Aria. he's a panther Aria: is that a kind of lion??? Alzora: no it's a fucking panther Aria: I just googled it. Are they not pink?  Alzora: AND LIONS ARE??? ~ Yeet: *gets shot* Shit. Alzora: Language! ~ Niyana: Is 4 alot? Aria/Alzora: Depends on the context. Aria/Alzora: Money? No. Aria/Alzora: Murders? Yes. ~ Yeet: Just a reminder that I'm non-binary so if you've got a crush on me, u gay bro ~

Alzora: if one of you says that stupid thing again I will not hesitate to give you frost bite Aria: aw that's so sad alexa play despacito Alzora: starting with you Alt idea from our DM (context, Alzora is an ice dragon and I compare her to Elsa alot): Aria: thats so sad, alexa play Let it Go. Alzora: you will die in 3 days ~ Niyana: THE FLOOR IS LAVA Yeet: *helps Snipe onto a chair* Alzora: *throws Aria off the table* revenge Niyana: There are two types of people ~ Alzora: If anyone says ‘mood’ ‘same’ or 'me’ in response to something I say ever again, I will throw you out the nearest window Yeet: Mood Aria: Same Niyana: Me Alzora calling tad: hello? Tad can you come here quickly? Tad: why what happened? Alzora: well lets just say there’s a gun in my hand, 3 dead bodies on the floor, blood on the walls floor and ceiling, and police on the way Tad: Tad: what Tad: The police are going to be there? Yeah, you're on your own ~ Aria: Mobius is a hot, molten core with a solid crust. Therefore, its a ravioli Alzora: Please stop Yeet, taking notes: No no let her finish ~ Aria: Comparing me and Alzora is like comparing apples to oranges. Aria: I mean, I like apples, and I really don't like oranges. Aria: Oranges are annoying. ~ nesta: fuck your cake! aria: 

~ Niyana: I’ve been working on my evil laugh! ‘Cause everybody’s got an evil laugh, you know, like... Ha ha ha ha HA! Like that. Alzora: Okay, here’s the thing. You’re not ready... for the evil laugh, okay, you can do a chuckle? Like a mildly upset chuckle? After MY evil laugh. ~ Snipe: You're smiling. Did something good happen? Aria: Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Niyana: Alzora tripped and fell down the stairs. ~ Yeet: So, why is Aria mad at you? Alzora: They sneezed and I accidentally said "shut the fuck up" instead of "bless you". Yeet: Alzora: Yeet: How do you accidentally say "shut the fuck up"?! ~ Alzora: Anyone who says 'uwu' or 'owo' again is being arrested for crimes against humanity! Aria: Cwimes against huwumanity. Alzora: I'm going to break your fingers. ~ Yeet, while crying: LOVE IS DEAD AND NEVER EXISTED! ALL YOU DID WAS BETRAY ME AS I LAY SICK AND FESTERING! YOU ARE THE DEFINITION OF DREAD! Snipe: Are you ok???  Yeet, crying even more: NIYANA STOLE MY FUCKIGN WEAPONS! [This breakdown is immediately followed by Yeet trying to beat the shit out of a 15 year-old] ~ Alzora: Good Morning!   Aria: Good Morning everyone Snipe: Good Morning. [ half of everyone else says their good mornings] Yeet: My god you all sound like robots! “good morning” this “good morning” that. Yeet: Spice it up!!! Niyana: HEY MOTHERFUCKERS ~ Alzora: *falls*  Alzora: Alzora: I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies. ~ Aria: Tall people are the enemy! Alzora: I'm sorry, I can't hear you from up here. Aria: I will tie your fucking shoelaces together and you won't even know it! ~ Niyana: But rules were made to be broken! Tad: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Nesta: Uh, pinatas. Alzora: Glow sticks. Yeet: Karate boards. Aria: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Niyana: And rules! Snipe: Don’t forget bones. Yeet: Ye-Wait no- ~ Aria: Onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts. Alzora, used to Aria: Sure they are, Aria. Aria: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Alzora: Okay. Aria: Lasagna is just spaghetti-flavored cake. Alzora: … Aria, oblivious: Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions. Alzora, crying: Aria, please stop. Yeet, fascinated: No, continue. ~ Yeet: Hey, Snipe, what are you doing here? Snipe: This is where I come to cry. Yeet: What. Snipe: I said this is where I come to be a cool guy. ~ [loud crashing comes from Team Supernova's room, Tad runs in to find the room completely trashed] Tad: What happened in here!? [The rest of the Team are on an elevated surface]  Aria, on top of the bookshelf, shaking: We saw a spider... ~ Yeet: Isn’t it amazing what friends learn from each other? Aria: I learn a lot from Phin because he makes so many mistakes. ~ Aria: AVJDJAHDHSHS Tad: what is that? Aria: a keyboard smash Tad: how do I do it? Aria: just press anything Tad: 7 ~ Alzora: Bitch. Aria: Blocked. Alzora: Wait, unblock me, I need to tell you something. Aria: Unblocked. Alzora: Bitch. ~ Alzora: Don’t say a word. Aria: Aria: Fergalicious. Alzora: I said no words. Aria: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble, it’s not a word. Now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you. ~ Aria: Olli? Why are you outside? It's pouring! Olli, drenched: The aesthetic, Miss Aria. Aria: Olli, please. Olli: ThE aEsThEtIc, MiSs ArIa! ~ Niyana: There’s no “i” in happyness. Aria: There is if you fuckin’ spell it right. ~ Niyana: Do you care if I take the skin off the Furby? Niyana: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of Us. Niyana: Also I want to softhack his circuits. Yeet: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that sentence ever again. Tad, not looking up from his sketch book: I could design some long furby designs if you need me to. ~ Stella: I have a mafia! Yeet: We have a Niyana. ~ Yeet: Bro. Snipe: What bro? Yeet: Tell the whole world we’re bros. Snipe: *whispers* We’re bros. Yeet: Why’d you whisper bro? Snipe: Because you’re my whole world bro. Yeet: B R O. ~ Yeet: Your house is burning down! You can only save one thing. What do you save? Aria: My house?? ~ Aria: Yeet, do you ever want to talk about your emotions? Yeet: No. Alzora: I do. Aria: I know, Alzora. Alzora: I’m sad. Aria: I know, Alzora. ~ Stella: *looking around in closet* What should I change into? Snipe: A better person. ~ Whatever characters Yeet writes into fanfiction: *hugging and vibing* Yeet: Who would ever want to harm such a loving relationship? Yeet, brandishing a pen: I WOOOOULD! ~ Yeet: Chillax~ Alzora: That’s not a word. Yeet: Sometimes the ones who deny “chillax” are the ones who need to chillax the most. ~ Aria: 13 year old me would be both terrified and in awe at who I am now. Niyana: 13 year old me wouldn't think I'd get this far. Yeet: I would fight a 13 year old me. ~ Snipe: Yeet came into my room in the middle of the night, I pretended to be asleep, and they stroked my hair for a minute then left. Are they planning to kill me??? Aria: No they just care about you, idiot. ~ Yeet: Well, I guess you could say I’ve fallen for you. Snipe: You just fell down seven flights of stairs, how are you even alive? ~ Yeet: I wish I could block people in real life. Alzora: A restraining order. Niyana: Murder. ~ Alzora: What the frick is wrong with you? Snipe: Please be more specific and resubmit with the proper paperwork. ~ [on a city bus] Stranger: Are you traveling for business or pleasure? Alzora, in full armor: Combat. ~ Aria: Who ate my fries? Yeet? Yeet: I don’t like fries. Aria: Snipe? Snipe: I don’t need food. Aria: Niyana? Niyana: …It was Alzora. Alzora: Yeah it was. Aria: wh ~ Alzora: They are completely literal people. Metaphors go over their heads. Yeet: Nothing goes over my head... my reflexes are too fast! I would catch it. ~ Yeet: Live by the ass, die by the ass. Tad: S t o p ~ Niyana: Is there a word that is a mix between sad and mad? Tad: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolate. Yeet: Smad. ~ Tad: If someone is trying to rob a civilian, what is the correct course of action? Yeet: T-pose to assert dominance Tad: No. Niyana: Say "Thank you Chaos, for this meal I'm about to have" and then- Tad, interrupting: even worse Yeet, taking notes: Wait, let her finish ~ Aria: Hey Alzora, do you think Snipe feels regret? Because i just saw him choke down one of Tad’s pancakes in half a second. Alzora: Snipe has only one emotion and that’s hubris. ~ Yeet: *peeling a banana* May I take your jacket lol Snipe: Do you think other people can't hear you? ~ Aria: You have to pick your battles, Alzora. Alzora: I’m full of rage and I’m picking all of them. ~ Nesta, T-posing in the hallway: Good morning, parental figure. Tad, not looking up from his coffee: Hello, problem child. ~ Yeet, throwing his head in Snipe’s lap: Tell me I’m pretty. Snipe, lovingly stroking their hair: You’re pretty fucking annoying, that’s what you are. ~ Yeet, hoarsely: I think I'm losing my voice. Niyana: Ha! That means you can't yell at me anymore! [later that day]  Niyana: Turns out, Yeet is scarier when they’re quiet. ~ Snipe: WE'RE SINKING IN DEEP WATER. Yeet: Don't worry. I learned this from a survival TV show. Yeet: OH TOOOOODLES-- ~ Niyana: Who else uses can openers to drink soft drinks? Yeet: This is extremely unhinged I must try it immediately. ~ Snipe: Boil up some mountain dew. It’s gonna be a long night. Aria: You could have said anything else. Yeet: fire burn and cauldron bubble, baja blast to fuel my trouble. ~ Aria: What do you want for dinner? Niyana: How about Sonic? Aria: *whispers* He's so fast how would we catch him-

[opalescient]

the most beautiful actual book recs — pride month edition 🥰🌈✨

june 28 is a big day in pride history; on this day in 1969, patrons of the Stonewall Inn and other bars decided to be a catalyst for change and stand up against the police raids targeted at members of the lgbt community. they are now known as the ones who inspired the lgbt protests. so in commemoration of their bravery, here are some lgbt novels! lack of media representation is real mans. i hope you guys like them 🤍

we are okay by nina lacour ☆

You go through life thinking there’s so much you need…

Until you leave with only your phone, your wallet, and a picture of your mother.

Marin hasn’t spoken to anyone from her old life since the day she left everything behind. No one knows the truth about those final weeks. Not even her best friend, Mabel. But even thousands of miles away from the California coast, at college in New York, Marin still feels the pull of the life and tragedy she’s tried to outrun. Now, months later, alone in an emptied dorm for winter break, Marin waits. Mabel is coming to visit, and Marin will be forced to face everything that’s been left unsaid and finally confront the loneliness that has made a home in her heart.

TW: depression, grief

hi this is my favourite book of all time

this book was the (very tearful) final step of my pansexual awakening :”)

lesbian and so FUCKING BEAUTIFULLLL

you will finish this in one sitting. bet.

favourite quote: “I was afraid of how we lived without opening doors.”

they both die at the end by adam silvera

On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They’re going to die today.

Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure—to live a lifetime in a single day.

you’ve probably seen this on booktok

made me so angry-sad??? because can we only truly live in the face of death?????

also gay. i love how personal and realistic it is, but how could you rip them apart like that???

favourite quote: “We were all lost and okay with not being found for a while.”

how it feels to float by helena fox

Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn’t be here but is. So Biz doesn’t tell anymore anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn’t tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was six. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface— normal okay regular fine.

But after what happens on the beach—first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe—maybe maybe maybe—there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

TW: grief, trauma

the emotion in this book. so vivid and raw.

very unique writing style that nailed every single emotion and thought and wow i am in love with this book

made me feel so full of love at the end 🥺

favourite quote: “I think of hearts in bodies and the rhythm inside us we don’t get to choose.”

the hand, the eye, the heart by zoe marriott

Zhilan was assigned female at birth; despite an unusual gift for illusions, they know they will live out their life in the perfumed confines of the women’s quarters. But when civil war sets the country aflame, Zhilan is the only one who can save their disabled Father from death on the battlefield.

By taking his place.

Surviving brutal army training as a male recruit – Zhi – is only the first challenge. Soon Zhi���s unique talents draw them into an even more perilous fight, in the glittering court of the Land of Dragons, where love and betrayal are two sides of the same smile. The fate of an Empire rests on Zhi’s shoulders. But to win, they must first decide where their loyalty, and their heart, truly belongs.

TW: mentions of prostitution, rape, war, slight ptsd

mulan, but make it trans. and better.

i love the ambiguity and fluidity written into the non-binary character!!! tied with the morally grey plotline!!!! nice!!!!!!

also i would say that there’s a major plot twist but i CALLED IT

there’s a happy ending for this, disney style, but still sooooo good ☺️✨

favourite quote: “People trust their eyes above all else— but most people see what they wish to see, or what they believe they should see; not what is really there.”

[cosmiciaria]

The Dragon Prince Season 3 scattered thoughts:

MILD SPOILERS MIND YOU

How much better can the animation GET? BECAUSE THIS SEEMS PEAK PERFORMANCE

Is every f*cking elf in this story SO GORGEOUSLY BEAUTIFUL? That guy with the wing arms *kisses fingertips* PERFECTION

CALLUM AND RAYLA ARE SO CUTE OMG???? I HAVEN’T BEEN THIS INVESTED IN A SHIP SINCE I BOARDED THE TITANIC

Only RESPECT for my one true king

Soren has been redeemed - Sometimes I feel sorry for him, but he’s so hilarious I can forgive him anything. Also great character development there

I also feel terrible for Claudia. I can FEEL her torn between her father and her brother. And her distress for trying to keep her family together - man that girl is going to end up too  b r o k e n

I had the Gandalf and the LOTR vibes towards the end, you know what I mean

Amaya STILL SLAY QUEEN YASSS also Gren is back I love my son so much

I need to draw fanart of this season idk what but i will do something at least some sketches of Ezran because he deserves it

Idk if it was mentioned in the previous seasons but?? was i the only one who had the feeling that… Viren was in love with Sarai??? for a moment there i thought he was gonna use his own blood you know for what

I read somewhere here in tumblr that this season was about manipulation and toxic relationships and you know what Y E S Soren is a great example and I felt so happy for him when he realized it, and also Viren and his bug pet friend. Soren has a really important and heavy line towards the end and it went something like “if someone tells you to do something evil and they convince you that it’s something good, then that’s bad”. Lads, lasses, non-binary people: TATTOO THIS ON YOUR FACES. Actually look for the real quote because my memory sucks

I love that they know how to subvert expectations, not like other two guys whose surnames start with D’s and resemble an all time favorite board game known for their reptiles with wings and long and narrow spaces where you battle monsters to death

I MEAN SEASON 4 IS A THING NO??

Also i forgot to say i’m so happy Rayla is taller than Callum you know what boyz fuck those stupid stereotypes you know what this SHOW IS SUCH A DELIGHT IN THOSE ASPECTS like you know what?? your king has dark skin, you have lesbians and gays all around, and the girl is actually taller than the boy i’m just??? THANK YOU FOR EXISTING THAT’S ALL

[ins0mnia-an0nym0us-au]

re: getting told i have borderline nazi-ideology

I very recently had an interesting experience that I wanted to share.

I use Discord, a communication program that’s main purpose is an instant messaging feature, you can create a server, which can have multiple “rooms” in it for different topics of conversation. It also has various other features, like voice chatting, video-calling, screen-sharing, etc. 

There are lots of uses for it but mainly I use it just to hang out with people. Recently, I started branching out and joining different ‘fandom’ discord servers. I first joined an Arrowverse server, then just a server for people who ship a certain couple on one of the tv shows. 

But then I binged all of Agents of Shield and I wanted to find somewhere to talk about it, make some friends. So I joined a server and it started off pretty great. Everyone was very kind. We all love Marvel and Agents of Shield. 

Here’s where it turns into an experience (SPOILERS FOR AGENTS OF SHIELD) -

In Agents of Shield and the Marvel Universe in general, there is an organization called Hydra, which was founded by Nazis. Agents of Shield deals with Hydra a lot and one of the main cast members turns out to be a member of Hydra hidden within Shield. The actor Brett Dalton seems like an absolute sweetheart, I’ve actually seen him in person at Dragon-Con a few times and he’s one of those actors that refuses to sit behind his table, he stands in front of it to talk to his fans, give hugs, handshakes, etc.

People were talking about how apparently because of him being a Hydra member in the show and saying things like ‘Hail Hydra’ with fans or maybe even randomly (I’m not sure the context of that - if someone asked him to say it with them or whatever), that people cancelled him and that’s why he only does Hallmark movies now. Which is something I find ridiculous for a few reasons. 

Brett Dalton is an actor. He is given a role and he plays it. If that is a good guy or bad guy, it doesn’t matter, he reads the lines and acts the part. The fact that people ask him to repeat lines or certain lines get more famous than others is not his fault. 

This brought into question why certain people would even have ‘Hail Hydra’ as a favorite line. Which was incredibly stupid of a question in my opinion. 

Hydra is an iconic enemy organization within the Marvel Universe

‘Hail Hydra’ is a quick and easy line to say vs longer quotes

It comes from many iconic scenes in the franchise itself - both within comics & the cinematic universe

Then they questioned why anyone would be a fan of Hydra at all when it’s a Nazi run organization - a fictional, Nazi run organization. I pointed that out and they scoffed at that and said it doesn’t matter. So instead I tried the following reasons -

Some people just love to root for the bad guy - no matter how bad

Favorite actors/actresses play the villains

It’s ‘edgey’ to root for the bad guys

In the end they didn’t buy any of that as good enough reasoning and said that deep down every person who was a fan of Hydra must secretly be a Nazi or Nazi sympathizer and that even if Brett Dalton was a nice guy, he shouldn’t go around saying ‘Hail Hydra’ because some Jewish people have stated it makes them uncomfortable. 

Listen, if something makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to say that it does and if it is a good enough reason then maybe that person will change what they are doing, hell, maybe everyone else will agree with you. But I find this entire thing incredibly stupid. If you watch anything from Marvel and expect not to run into something referencing Hydra then you are either naive or incredibly foolish. If Hydra triggers you, if Nazism triggers you, just stay away from Marvel.

“But we should make Marvel available for everyone!”

No, we can’t make everything available for everyone. That is literally impossible. Should some Marvel content have less Nazi references in it for those triggered by it? Sure, I’m sure there is something out there for them. 

But this isn’t even the end of this experience I had on this server. I thought we ended this conversation on good terms. But I’ll never know if they were secretly reporting me to the server owner or not. The next bit is when I was given a ‘warning’ not to open my mouth again on my beliefs or I would be kicked from the server. 

It started when I saw people just saying things like “America is such shit” and “Yeah, America is such garbage” - even the Americans were saying this. Now I’m a proud American but I understand that the media is very influential, so I tried to be diplomatic in my approach. I entered by saying something like - “America definitely has its problems, that’s for sure, but so does every country - still, look how far we’ve come!”

Responses were not kind to that. They were insistent on just pointing out all the flaws in America. From apparently rampant racism, a fascist regime, terrible public education.

I once again tried to approach diplomatically. I simply said that there is racism everywhere, I don’t think I touched the fascist regime comment, and I agreed on the terrible public education comment. Which spiraled into a talk about our public education system. We all pretty much agreed that our public education system is shit… which I still don’t understand how someone can want more government when the government fucks everything they already run up. 

I’m not sure how it went from that to talking about being able to choose who to serve at your business. It’s hard to remember exactly. I just remember the whole Christian Baker thing being brought up but it turns out we were talking about two separate cases. 

They were talking about a case where a baker was contacted by a lesbian couple and that baker released their information to a hate website, later they sued the baker and won. Which - yeah, that baker deserved to be milked for every last dime. 

But I was talking about a baker that was contacted by a gay couple to make a ‘gay cake’ - this baker said no because it was against his religion, and even told them that he doesn’t make Halloween or Anti-American cakes but he’d happily make them other desserts. But they still sued him and originally the gay couple won but it was taken to the Supreme Court and the baker won the suit. I think it’s a good thing the baker won that case. 

No one should be able to tell you who you should or should not serve. If a gay baker is contacted by a homophobic person and is asked to make an anti-LGBTQ+ cake, they should have every right to say “no, I will not.” in the same way a Christian baker should have every right not to make a ‘gay cake’ or a cake covered in penises or an anti-Christ cake. 

Do I think it’s dumb not to make a cake for someone just because it’s gay? Yes. Take the business. In the same way I think if a gay person turns down someone just for being straight it’s dumb. But that is their right. 

But apparently because this is how I believe, I have borderline Nazi ideology and was told that if I didn’t keep my mouth shut when they spout off about politics, I would be kicked from the server. The message I received was laughable at best. All about making a ‘safe-space’ for members of the fandom from all ages, genders and orientations. 

How impressionable young people are around (a few sentences ago it was children - which, there are no children in this server, teenagers, they are teenagers) and that it may influence their minds and opinions in the future - as if their spouting off about how much they hate America and all of their political opinions won’t? The hypocrites. 

Then came the point in the message where I was basically called a Nazi. Which… really? I’m autistic, non-binary, lesbian, with several disabilities. The Nazis would have put me in the front of the line to be executed. The gall these people have to think that I could ever agree with Nazis or Nazism. I’ve been to the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, DC. I’ve watched unfiltered footage from WWII of the Concentration Camps and what they did to people like me. It’s disturbing to me how ignorant these people are of what Nazism actually is but mostly it’s sad because of how intolerant they are of anything but their own point of view.

The final bit of the message was about how I had treated people flippantly despite how they expressed their discomfort. Again - the gall of these fucking people. Not one person ever fucking said they were uncomfortable when we were talking. I would have stopped talking about politics immediately if one person spoke up. They just kept talking, kept responding to my messages, but instead they went and tattled on me to the server owner. 

So, instead of staying in a server where I was told to just sit down and shut up, I messaged the owner back and told them exactly what I just told all of you. I also told them that they are exactly what is wrong with everyone today, why everyone is so divided and why no one talks to each other anymore. That going through life being unable to hear opposing opinions when they don’t do you any harm is a sad way to live. That it did make me sad that they had just assumed the worst in me because I did enjoy my time there, I even spent a solid month editing a photo as a Christmas gift to the server.

I apologized for making anyone uncomfortable but also told them that no one ever said anything. Then told them I won’t apologize for anything else and that I wouldn’t bother sticking around. Why would I? Everyone had been secretly talking about me it seems. No one had the same opinions as me and no one wanted to hear them. What was the point? So I just left the server. 

Being autistic makes it so hard to understand social queues in real life, doing so online is pretty much impossible unless you use emojis that have certain connotations linked to them. I generally have to take people at face value of what they are saying. If no one says that they are uncomfortable - I assume they aren’t. If no one tells me that I’m breaking a rule or doing something wrong, why would I assume differently? Mostly though it hurt me that they all just sat there and decided that I was pretty much a Nazi when I’d been nothing but nice to them. I thought we were becoming friends, some of us anyway. 

It just proves that once more, the crowd of ‘tolerance’ is the least tolerable. Now I have no Agents of Shield server and I miss my almost friends. 

[mysweetavalon]

Ok guys, it’s dragon age headcanon hours, and we’re going in order of every companion so let’s do this :) (in short all of them are gay)

- Alistair: Bisexual, and a trans guy

- Morrigan: Bisexual also, cis, I also think she’s on the ace spectrum but I’m not sure

- Leliana: Pansexual, non-binary of sorts

- Zevran: Pansexual, polyamourous, genderfluid, basically MCU Loki but an elf

- Oghren: Probably not straight

- Sten: Aroace, will beat you up

- Wynne: Bisexual

- Shale: So basically I know Shale’s a fucking rock but if they ever go back into their true body I headcanon them as nb and a lesbian despite them being a fucking rock

- Nathaniel: He’s gay, big fucking homo no way to convince me otherwise

- Velanna: Non-binary, lesbian, trans, and can stomp on my throat

- Anders: Bisexual in game, but I also headcanon him as being nb and using he/they pronouns

- Fenris: Bisexual in game, I imagine him as ace and honestly I’m gonna stick with that. Bioware screw you idc if he had a purely sexual relationship with Isabela and possibly the Champion he’s ace and I’m projecting.

- Sebastian: I actually headcanon him as aroace, and let me explain. I’m projecting. (Idc if he’s a bRoThEr oF thE fAiTh and he’s a religious fuck, I love him.)

- Merrill: Pansexual, ace also, non binanry,,, very cool,,,,

- Isabela: Bisexual, h*rny

- Hawke: Non-binary, lesbian, ace (in my canon)

- Sera: Lesbian obv, I see her as trans too

- Dorian: Gay shithead who will kin Hannibal Lecter unironically in real life

- Cassandra: Repressed lesbian

- Cullen: the only straight cis man

And that’s all for now :) u can comment who else you’d like to see my headcanons for if u want u_u

[mandarinastronaut]

Why The Goldfinch is appealing to queer people

I think people underestimate the value of casual representation a lot. Whenever I open my mouth about gay subtext, or gay-coded characters, at least one person’s ready to tell me that I already have canon and explicit representation, so why isn’t that enough? why do I have to make everything gay? it’s 2019 after all, and there’s plenty of lgbt+ content out there.

If I asked them to list all of this amazing content they’re talking about, they couldn’t. They’d tell me the names of three movies, two shows, and one book, and then go “this isn’t fair because I don’t watch queer specific stuff so I can’t name that many off the top of my head, but there’s obviously a lot more that I just don't know the names of.”

If 2019 is so fucking great and inclusive, then why can’t you name more than three things? why the FUCK is gay marriage still not legal worldwide? why is being queer still illegal in some places? why is it so that some people won’t sell us fucking cake or flowers? why is it still incredibly hard to have lgbt+ rep in kids media? and WHY, just WHY, are all of the mainstream queer movies I can think of, about white cis gay men?

*(now I don’t mean to say that there’s absolutely no casual, diverse, or mainstream rep, because there is, and the amount is growing all the time, and we’ve definitely made a lot of progress and are moving toward the right direction, but I mean that, there’s still not enough of it and that it’s still something you usually have to specifically look for)

If you’re a queer like me, you’re probably tired of the same old narrative, that focuses only on the character’s sexual, or gender, identity. You’d rather watch normal movies (shows, books, etc.). Like an action movie, where the protagonist is casually shown binding, or they casually mention having a same-gender partner. Wouldn’t that be refreshing? (and this isn’t even touching the diversity issue of lgbt+ rep.)

We want to see, and read about, asexual dragon fighting ladies, pansexual trans men who solve crimes together, non-binary youths aspiring to become artists, gay time traveling poc, and everything in between. Imagine, just imagine, being able to relate to mainstream media. That would change everything, wouldn’t it?

So when we detect subtext, we cling onto it. Because subtext, is only subtextual, and that’s pretty much how our identities are in real life. We’re not just queer, we’re people too. We have our own quirks, and interests, and dreams, just like cishets do.

This, and the lack of representation (let alone good, diverse and casual rep), are the reasons why queerbait works so well. Many fans aren’t able to detach themselves from a piece, even when it’s clearly just queerbait. Even if they’re being ridiculed for their interpretation by the creators themselves. (Looking at you, Supergirl cast.)

And so, that’s why The Goldfinch is so appealing to queer people. You have this insanely real feeling, complex guy (Theo), who just happens to be gay. We get to experience a multitude of things, from the loss of a parent to drug addiction, not just his queerness. His sexuality, is only a sub-storyline. It feels relatable, because it’s so casual. It’s not the main plot of the novel, it’s just sort of there. 

We want to be equal, not tolerated. And casual representation gives us that equality. It lets us feel normal for once. It lets us experience complex stories that aren’t just about our queerness. It lets us feel human again. 

[zedecksiew]

What Torchbearer Taught Me About RPGs

Google Plus is now dead. I found my preferred roleplaying-games community there. So many friends and discussions and games. I wrote the following piece on G+ in August 2017. It is the closest I’ve ever got, before or since, to RPG “theory”.

(This particular text is actually the version I posted to Facebook, which is the social-media account closest to my meat-space civilian life -- hence that little oh-what-is-an-RPG-anyway? tangent.)

+++

WHAT TORCHBEARER TAUGHT ME

Torchbearer is a roleplaying game. It taught me that I shouldn't play human characters, in roleplaying games.

~

Preamble: for the last three years, I've been playing a lot of tabletop roleplaying games (RPGs) over the Internet. Basically, you know that game the boys in Stranger Things play? That, but in a video conference.

I am a Person of Colour (tm), and I almost always play with white dudes.

I wish this didn't matter. But in 2015 I played with some dudes who, after hearing me speak, started talking about how English was definitely my second language.

Ever since I've been hyper-aware about how I present to white dudes.

~

Anyway: Torchbearer is an RPG. Based on another game called Burning Wheel, Torchbearer's schtick is nostalgia: it is designed to emulate perilous, early Dungeons & Dragons-style dungeon crawls.

It uses BW's "beliefs, instincts, and traits" (BITs) mechanic - define your character's personality and goals; get rewarded for playing accordingly.

I don't really have an issue with BITs. "Fight for what you believe in!" Oh, my self-sacrificing dwarf gets experience points for taking a hit meant for the foolhardy wizard - ie: actually being self-sacrificing? Neat!

~

But playing according to your character's beliefs and instincts is half of how you need to play in the Torchbearer ruleset.

At the end of every session, you also get experience points for "embodiment" - roleplaying in a "believable and entertaining manner throughout the entire session".

Basically, this means funny accents and exaggerated manners. Which - hey: also seems to makes sense. Funny accents and exaggeration is what makes RPGs fun. I want to have fun. You're rewarding me for having fun? Neat!

~

Thing is: embodiment can only go to everybody at the table, minus one, in any given session.

It is quite a game-designer-ly thing to think that competition is a good way to make any experience points you gain feel earned / meaningful.

So: players have to rate each other's performances. Players compete to be entertaining.

And, in my group, embodiment effectively became the "you were the least memorable character, tonight, no XP for you" penalty.

~

I found a group to play Torchbearer with, on Roll20.

My first Torchbearer character was a not-conquistador: a cleric with light in his heart, come to bring Civilisation to savage lands.

He only ever got embodiment once, when I gave him an awful accent (his name was Ulric, so it was a German accent) as a last-ditch attempt to make myself stand out.

My second Torchbearer character was a goth-chick assassin. She spoke in a slinky voice and wore the blood of her victims as makeup. Massive OTT edge-lady.

The other dudes didn't think much of her, either.

~

Okay, fine. I'll be the first to admit I'm not a great role-player. Gotta try harder!

My third Torchbearer character was Slessik, the snivelling rat-man coward. Great warriors protect Slessik, yes-yes? I did the raspy voice and the hunched posture and mimed licking my whiskers and everything.

Slessik was a hit. His embodiment rate? 100%!

I had fun playing him. And, because in Torchbearer how well-liked you are basically equals how survivable your player-character is, Slessik was my longest-lasting character.

~

After Slessik, I had enough of playing an essentially non-human character. (It made my throat sore.)

My fourth Torchbearer character was an elf. He began as a slave. He was lazy, and tried stupid schemes to get out of work; this meant he got in trouble, more often than not.

He was also a massive coward. Essentially, I saw him as Slessik, in elf form, with a stammer instead of a hunch and rasp.

~

No more embodiment. Like, 0%.

My elf died pretty quick. Dead by the - second session, I think?

I sighed, and switched to a fearless, leap-into-danger mantis-man. He / it spoke in a raspy monotone, and was a ravenous predator.

One was the other dudes said:

"Yay! Slessik is back!"

~

Was it because I didn't do a voice, with my "human" PCs?

But the other dudes didn't do voices, either. They got their experience points.

Maybe I just didn't play with enough colour. But - the other dudes played characters just as trope-y and textbook as my own. Proud barbarian; mysterious wizard; quiet Aragorn-type ranger. They were archetypes, they were fun, they got embodiment.

But I didn't. Not unless I played a monster.

~

I started thinking about the other campaigns I'd played, online, with white dudes.

I realised I had a tendency to other myself. Play outsiders. Strict cannibal savage. Cyborg with binary-to-human translator. In any party of adventurers, I was usually the outlier figure.

Easier, you know? In our video conferences, I had different skin, a different speech pattern. I couldn't understand certain references. Didn't laugh at certain jokes. I kept quiet when the other guys talked about American-football teams.

Mirroring that dynamic in-game meant less dissonance, on the whole.

~

You know - that's fine. I'm not about to pretend the cultural divide isn't there. Neither am I going to make a big fuss about it.

It's just - a thing.

~

But there's a lesson here, for designers - of games, or otherwise:

~

Thor Olavsrud, Torchbearer's creator, day-jobs in tech.

His collaborator, the designer of Burning Wheel, Luke Crane, works for Kickstarter.

Crane has previously said that he designs his games against social dysfunction. He believes that players will inevitably, inadvertently be anti-social fucks, so Burning Wheel (and, by extension, Torchbearer) are systems designed to make that impossible.

These are systems that handhold you to civility, making sure that there are incentives for working together, being group-oriented, entertaining your fellow players.

~

Olavsrud and Crane are liberal types. Crane has taken selfies with Anita Sarkeesian. Hearts in the right place, and all that.

But I think it is a distinctly technocratic stance to think that people are intrinsically going to be terrible.

And that the solution isn't to be adults and talk out our problems, but build a system where bad behaviour is impossible. "Solve" the human condition through better design.

~

That doesn't work.

Torchbearer, a game / ruleset / system Olavsrud and Crane designed, because it tries to account for and course-correct real-life-people-around-a-table social dynamics in its system design -

Is the only game I've ever played that, in effect:

(a) mechanically rewarded me for intentionally other-ing myself, and (b) mechanically punished me for not other-ing myself.

~

My takeaway from all this:

Don't try to manage real-life social dynamics using rules and systems. It doesn't work. And it will probably cause some harm.

+++

Two years on, re-reading this, I still stand by what it says, by and large. I remain skeptical of using (game) design to social-engineer a Better World. (That still belongs to real-world organising and activism. No shortcuts!)

Two things I’d do differently:

1) “Crane has previously said that he designs his games against social dysfunction.“ 

I no longer remember the source of this assertion, so as it stands now it’s a claim with no evidence. (I will argue that the design notes in the Burning Wheel rulebook support the idea, though.)

2) I’d further emphasise that there were no bad-intentioned people in the above account.

Torchbearer’s designers are progressives. The guys I played with were -- with one notable, Pizzagate-believing exception -- decent folk. I still remember most of the sessions I had with those guys fondly. They probably identify as woke.

[run-to-stand-still]

So Monday night/Tuesday morning I read Lunav by @jpolish-writes-queer-ya-fantasy/@queercapwriting

And yeah I read it all in one sitting, and here is why:

The beginning is incredibly sad. This is in no way a complaint, Jenn Polish is really a fucking incredible author and yes I’m an HSP and get emotionally affected by fiction easily by this was unreal. Again not a complaint, but I got hella sad for the characters and probably would’ve cried if my body let me. IT GETS BETTER THOUGH SO STICK WITH IT OKAY! This book will make you think hard. It’s about people being abused for being different and yeah that’s hella sad but it’s an important message and it’s kinda the point for it to be sad. I’m real life it’s fucking sad how many people are treated unfairly and the amount of us that actually think about that and feel something about it is too little. We need to learn as a species to feel compassion. Unfortunately the people who could probably learn from this book are never gonna read it because it’s queer and gender queer af which is amazing but you know idiots are gonna refuse to read it.

This may turn into an essay.

Anywho, hella sad and I refused to sleep until it got better but then I ended up finishing the book. Oops? This book will break your heart but it’ll mend it okay I promise. Discrimination is heartbreaking and Jenn does a fucking amazing job of conveying that through this book. So while maybe I should have waited to read it until a time I wouldn’t have to stay up until 3 to finish it, it was totally worth it.

I’m a little worried this post may be a deterrent for reading it. That’s not my point. My point is if you start it and want to cry stick with it because it’s fucking worth it.

Some amazing things in the book to pique your interest

Pretty sure there were more non-binary characters than binary ones

The characters are treated as genderless until they declare their gender. Which is fucking rad and I’m fucking jealous of this culture

The main character is biracial, has a limp, two moms, and is compassionate even when she or others think she shouldn’t be.

There is a triad and they’re considered married (joined) and when they have a kid no one tells them their kid should only have two parents.

There’s a badass woman who’s fighting hard against this dick of a man in her life and if I say more this’ll become a spoiler but it’s always great to see women stand up for themselves and not just be damsels.

Dude the first page has a sentient rabbit. The trees can communicate. There are dragons! Centaurs! And Faeries oh my!

The bond between hatchling mates (you’ll get it when you read it) is an amazing form of friendship that makes my heart so happy.

There’s this whole thing where they speak nonverbally which is rad

There’s so much love in this book. The community is suffering but they’re there for each other. They mourn together and they push through together. I love it.

The bad guys aren’t pure evil (except maybe Xavier and some of his men) and the good guys aren’t only good. It’s not black and white and I love it.

I’m saying the words I love it a lot. Oops?

Anyway I have many more thoughts on the book but I wanted to yell a little and encourage all my mutuals to read this ASAP because it’s amazing.

[tuesdayinthedasarchive-blog]

Tag Game

I was tagged by @apiegohome  it was ages ago but I finally have time to do it!

Rules: Answer 30 questions. Tag blogs you want to get to know better

Nickname(s): Online I mainly go my Vani (based on my long Nickname Danila Vanilla), otherwise, Nila is the main, Dani or D 

Gender: Non-binary

Sun Sign: Pisces

Height: 156 cm I’m a short arse

Time: 10:44pm

Fave band(s): There is like a million but - Nothing But Thieves, Dance Gavin Dance, Bring Me The Horizon, Nirvana, Queen, Holy Holy

Fave solo artist(s): The Weeknd, Tash Sultana, Flume, Ruby Fields 

Song stuck in my head: You really want to Know right now?!?! Undertale’s Megalovania

Last movie I saw: Bohemian Rhapsody 

Last show I watched: SheRa

When did I create my blog: This one 2015/16? cant remember its not my first blog

What do I post: My arts, mostly Kingdom Hearts and The Adventure Zone atm

Last thing I googled: How to 100% some Spyro levels

Do I have any other blogs: Lots, nah I have a reblog one (PunkrockAxel) and a personal but thats personal

Do I get asks: I did when I was less busy and more active! now not so much but thats on me

Why did I choose my url:Its my URL for most things and is homage to my love for Dragon Age

Following: 492, its kingdom hearts, TAZ and some random ones thrown in

Followed by: 268 how this keeps going up with my inactivity I love your guys

Average hours of sleep: Ive been getting my 7-8 hours finally but I get exhausted at work so I pass the fuck out

Lucky number: 9

Instruments: I play the spoons lol, i use to play guitar but i dont have one anymore

What I am wearing: Lion King shorts and a Pokemon shirt (not even joking)

Dream job: I’m kinda sorta doing it? Ive always just wanted to work with animals and currently I am an Animal Welfare Scientist

Dream trip: I need to go back to Italy, otherwise I’m going to New Zealand next year I want to see Hobbiton

Fave food: Pizza 

Nationality: Aussie

Fav song: Impossible you can not restrain me. According to Spotify its  The Divine Zero by Pierce The Veil

Last book I read: I’m currently reading Clay Bridge by Markus Zusak, last one I actually read was The Stolen Throne by David Gaider

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: I mean Thedas would be alright before all the shit went down, Mass Effect, Listen I want a real life Turian husband, Fullmetal Alchemist, Alchemy here I come (or Elder Scrolls cause mages and dragons woo)

Okay, I tag people that wanna the is a free invite

[kootenaygoon]

So,

Lyra was giving us a special tour.

Her medical shift ended around dinnertime and she came blazing out of the headquarters, still jazzed from a long shift of dealing with drugged-up idiots. Over the course of a day the medical staff dealt with everything from slivers to dehydration and minor wounds, but mostly they triaged all the different people in mental health distress thanks to what they called poly-substance abuse. There was the naked guy screaming out like a baby tyrannosaurus, the girl having a nervous breakdown, the bearded gentleman terrified by the alien chanting in his headspace. It was amazing to see her work, yammering into her walkie talkie while circling from one bed to the next, corralling patients. She only made it forty feet on to the grounds before a giant dude in a black and white prison uniform tossed himself on the ground in front of us and began howling, berserk and high-pitched.

“The crazy thing is I can tell you right now that he’s on too much ketamine. And believe it or not, the right way to deal with that is to give him more ketamine,” Lyra told me, as she flagged down the on-duty medical staff. They roared over with their ATV and loaded him up. 

“They can actually respond to an emergency anywhere on the ranch in two minutes, any stage or anywhere out in the camping area. Two minutes.”

Lyra was intensely proud to be working for Shambhala, but I wondered if somebody behind the scenes had instructed her to take the local journalist for a ride. She was definitely showing me the festival’s good side. The official types were busy arguing about the forest fire and they wanted to make sure I had other things to occupy my time. In the darkness it wasn’t as obvious that the smoke had only gotten thicker over the course of the day. There weren’t any new updates on Twitter, so I’d texted Chris Armstrong. He hadn’t gotten back to me yet.

“What do you think Jimmy will do?” I asked. “Like if they tell him to shut it down, can he just ignore that?”

We were hiking through the darkness, and Lyra shouted back over her shoulder at me. “I wouldn’t want to be in his position. He’s got $5 million at stake.”

“Have you had people checking in for smoke inhalation or anything like that?”

“Oh, a couple. But come on, it’s Friday. How close could the fire get by Monday, really? I heard they surveyed the fire and it’s still not even heading in this direction.”

“It’s just so ominous, you know? Trying to enjoy a music festival while the province is on fire. If things get worse I’m going to have to file a story tomorrow.”

“I doubt that will happen.”

Lyra found a side-gate to the Fractal Forest, hugged the guy manning it, then ushered Steph and I through it. Pretty soon I was climbing to the top of a flashing neon temple, looking out over the surging dance floor towards the looming green face of Yoda. In one of my Star stories I’d quoted a raver saying the muppet Jedi was making his “bass face”. My brainspace throbbed from the swampy soundscape, the light show lasers making me squint. I hadn’t really slept the night before, laying in my RAV arguing with Andrew Stevenson, so I’d now been awake for over 30 hours. Lyra put her hand on the base of my bare back, her lips tickling my ear while she narrated the scene in front of me. I loved the smell of her breath.

“Any of these kids could go down at any moment, from an overdose or whatever, and they don’t even stop the music. The medical team just drives right on to the dance floor and collects the person,” she said.

“You should see them do it. They’ve got it down to an art now.”

Eventually we worked our way back to the Pagoda Stage, where silhouetted women hung sultry from hoops and the newly constructed architecture came alive with rainbows of vibrating energy. My body felt heavy but I was trying to have a good time, half-dancing with Steph. I knew this was probably my last chance to enjoy the festival before I put on my journalism hat tomorrow, working on my harm reduction feature with Dr. Brendan Munn. Lyra pulled out her camera and took some blurry pictures in the darkness, as we hugged and posed. I told them I was heading off to find a washroom, then headed back towards the vendors lined up near the entrance.

That’s where I found Kori. I’d first connected with them during the Human Library event three months earlier. It was an event at the Nelson & District Public Library where readers were invited to take out real people for 20-minute interviews. I was covering it for the Star and ended up writing a cover story about Kori, the first non-binary person I’d ever met. As I approached I saw they were wearing a tutu and rocking a fu manchu moustache, their breasts brazenly bared. Kori had recently had a kid who was now potentially going to become the first British Columbian to have a birth certificate without a gender, and appeared on Piers Morgan arguing about the use of the pronoun “they”. From what I understood, Kori planned to utilize the female aspects of their body for the parenting experience before going through a further transition. During our interview at the library I’d been surprised to find myself attracted to them, because they reminded me of my ex Cat. 

I’d never met anyone like them.

“So I was thinking if I did LSD, then it would end up in my breast milk, right? So if I squirted it in your mouth right now, would you get high?” they asked, looming six inches taller than me.

I considered this. It felt strange to be attracted to someone who seemed like they could dominate me physically. “That would make sense. It would be kind of like recycling your drugs.”

“Exactly. Do you want to try?”

Hanging out with Kori was a trip, and always got me thinking about my own relationship with gender. Ever since I was in elementary school, I’d always considered myself to be a female in a male body. For a long time I even wished I could become a girl. I understood girls, gravitated to them, befriended them, while boys were obnoxious and scary and gross. This information never proved to be especially relevant, because I ended up being comfortably cisgender and hetero, but meeting Kori had me reconsidering the complexity of it all. If our sexualities were all in our brain matter, was it really possible to imagine an identity that contradicted your body? Could I imagine being a woman, and everything that came with that? In my fiction I’d created female characters, conjuring everything from lesbian heartbreak to a tragic father-daughter relationship. What if I took it one step further, and imagined childbirth? Could I be like Daenerys on that funeral pyre, giving birth to her dragons? Could I be more than this ordinary dude, hopelessly vanilla? 

Lyra and Steph eventually caught up, and I introduced them to Kori. We danced together in the shadows, throwing our arms around each other like we were in a football huddle. I gazed around at their three beautiful faces, full of love.

“It’s like I’m high on you guys. I’m feeling this incredible energy because I’m here partying with three mothers,” I said, my mouth gaping open happily.

Kori raised their eyebrows at me, and I knew I’d fucked something up. I was so careful with the pronouns!

“Three parents,” they said. “Three parents.”

The Kootenay Goon