#OKAY BYE AGAIN SEE YOU IN ANOTHER TWO xoxo

[nonbinary-kaz]

Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, Shadow and Bone (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik Characters: Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey, Inej Ghafa, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Jordie Rietveld Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Disabled Character, Dyslexia, Anxiety, Autistic Wylan Van Eck, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness, Bad Parent Jan Van Eck, (he's not here but we hate him anyway), Found Family, Family Bonding, Team Bonding Series: Part 2 of Fuckt Up Lil Bros AU Summary:

Nobody had the luxury of showing up, completely new and completely strange, without people getting curious. Especially not when Kaz brought in that person. And especially when that person was Wylan Van Eck.

[bloodyymaryyy]

Gossip girl xoxo

Part 4

Part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / masterlist

Warnings : mention of underage drinking but other than that don't know

((Side note : apparently you guys like the series so what you want you take my beautiful people! I love you guys! Anyway I saw what happened with lando and I had to make that in here! Also something is coming soon I don't know if you will like it but I will enjoy writing so 🤷‍♀️))

Texts with lando

You : hi lan!

Landinio : hey!

You: I heard that you are going to King's day tomorrow with Martin

Landinio : yeah I am what's up?

You : well I got invited for some reason too and wanted to know if you will go with martin or you could carpool with me! I have the lambo here!

Landinio : OH SHIT! I am texting with will rn to cancel on him! There is no way I am missing the lambo ride with you!

You: okay sweet just text me when are you meeting and here you are staying at to come get you because I am out rn. Ttyl x!

Landinio : oh 😏 with who?

You : none of your bizz bye!

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Texts between martin and lando

Lando : hey martin sorry to cancel last minute but y/n is coming and she has her lambo here and I won't find another chance to rice that thing so... Sorry again!

Will : oh it's nothing I understand I would too!

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

After picking up lando from his hotel we headed out towards the boat that the party is held taking empty wide roads to really drive the thing, drifting and doing a few donuts in an empty parking lot just for the thrill of it but making sure to actually arrive in the boat party you both got out of the car talking and laughing entering and finding Martin by the dj booth.

Greetings were exchanged talking and laughing until the second round of drinks that started to kick in hopping around, dancing and sings to the rhythm being surrounded by the Dutch men.

You two weren't fazed by the phones recording your every move because you were having fun and a little tipsy, not that you would admit it both to anyone that in fact you were drunk continuing with the drinks and having fun and just as you were getting drinks you got elbowed in the face not really hard but enough to cause a little mountain the next hour not really noticeable.

Lando in the other hand just as you were nearing him again was hit or something because his nose was bleeding you drank both of them quickly and ran up to him while near you can see the bloody roll down in this lips and teeth he smiled at you teeth bloody, you started to laugh at the situation. Someone had a first aid kit and you cleaned the wound putting a plaster on the cut and a bandage wrapped around his head loosely because you were drunk it was going to be messy.

When you finished you started to laugh again at his stupid look he looked like a mummy but who cares? You two didn't nor did the men around you so you both continued dancing, bouncing, shouting lyrics and drinking again. You weren't piss drunk you could think and walk straight and so was lando, playing some songs with martin lando djing for a bit so will could take a break, talking to you laughing and gossiping about news lately and having fun and creating the mood for the actual club that Will, Lando and you will be going to after the pre party in the boat. You were sure you will regret going to another club but current you don't care about it, future you maybe.

You weren't a light weight by any means, starting drinking from a young age and in your teenage years going out drinking almost everyday drinking made it hard for you to get drunk so you were good by half of the actual party in the club but you wouldn't say lando was the same...

Cutting your night in the what you seen fit as to lando wouldn't start throwing up but you could see he was ready to do anyway calling a taxi and telling him the directions of your hotel so you won't drive while drunk.

Taking him by his bicep and wrapping one hand around his shoulder and the other in his arm you payed for the drinks you ordered and left, waiting for the taxi to arrive he was talking to you, whispered things, making sentences up that made no sense, talking gibberish almost falling in his face while you were laughing and loose the grip around him and quickly regaining strength keeping his upright the taxi finally arrived.

Getting him inside and going arout the car so you could take care of him he laid his head in your lap while you slowly and softly graced your hand through his brown curls and stroking his cheek softly while he closed his eyes smiled and opening one eye to look up at you periodically while you made small conversations with the driver which was a fan of the sport and you learned his daughter's favourite driver was you from a young age looking up at you and asking for a photo with you, he wanted a photo with lando but he was asleep so you decided against it, when you arrived you took his phone got a selfie with him and one alone from a high angle so he was visible but not his face just his hat and hoodie that he got out with, you paid the driver and slowly got out of the car and went around the car again opening the door taking his hand waking him up a little so he can get out but he feel asleep again on you as you closed the door.

You again wrapped a hand around him and holding his other firmly you opened the hotel door and getting inside the building, the receptionist was eyeing you but you didn't care you were determined to get him safe and tugged in, heading in the elevator you waited for the doors to close and pressing the button of your level.looking at the mirror you see on your dress a bit of blood from lando's nose you looked a bit disheveled with your eye sparkly eyeshadow somehow under your eye, the lipstick long gone now in its place your lip pencil a bit smeared around the corners of your mouth, in your forehead a little knob and in lando having his head buried in your neck seamingly asleep by his slow rhythmed breathing that was hitting your neck practically hugging you, the elevator pinged letting you know that you got to your floor you started trying to wake him up to stop hugging you but he didn't budged you decide to just carry him to your door which was easier taking out your card key which luckily you took out of your wallet in the taxi and opened the door.

Upon entering you left him to the bed trying once again to gently wake him up so he could change, you left the club at 4 :30 and now you read the clock it said 5 : 30 so you did all of this in an hour and in heels... He is gonna pay fro this but for now you laid a hoodie that you had oversized and long shorts again oversized that you knew that would fit you took your pj's and headed to the bathroom, you washed your face to get rid of the make up and changed out of the dress and heels.

Going again the the bed you saw lando's clothes messily tossed around the side of the bed he was occupying and in your clothes, the hoodie was one of your merch with a red bull logo in the back and you are not gonna tell that to him, wanting him to walk out with it, he was lying in your bed the covers covering most of him but his back and head out you took a picture and tugged him in and walking to your side of the bed pulling up the covers and getting in falling asleep almost instantly, felling a pair of hands wrapping around you and a head to your neck going closer to lando cuddling up on you and falling asleep peacefully

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Waking up in the morning was a struggle, you wouldn't say it was really a morning but evening waking up at 1pm by calls on your phone. Lando still asleep but starting to stir awake too by the annoying ringing of your phone you took your phone from the night stand you answered the phone without looking who it was

It was max

( the convo went like this)

Red : max / pink : y/n

Y/n? Why aren't you answering my calls? I have been calling you non stop from the morning where are you?

Max lower your voice... I have been sleeping what do you want? I am in my hotel room rn sleeping

Why are you still sleeping? What time did you leave the club last night?

4:30

Why? How did you get to the hotel?

Omg max can you interrogate me later? Let me sleep man...( a raspy voice could be heard in the background : stop talkinggg and then a sigh) shut up. Anyway I will call you back lat-

No! No don't fucking hang up! Are you with someone I heard a man! Who is he?!

Omg max! It's lando what do you want? I will talk to you later good bye!

I said and hand up the call not waiting for max to reply and rolled over now cuddling lando and falling asleep again for a few minutes then waking up by lando leaving the bed.

After he got a shower he came back and by then I dressed up to get food because I was starving waiting for lando you go together. We did you got a few pictures with fan and got food.

After that you called max and explained everything at some point max came with us to a few stored and hung out together and took max's plane and went to Monaco each to their own homes.

That's it thank you! ( not the end of the series tho)

[fivelakesinwriting]

Hey love! Could you do a Dylan smut where him and the reader are trying for another baby? It could be very fluffy and cute. Thanks!❤️

Author's Notes: I based this around the same family dynamic as Around the Carousel. Thank you for the request - if this was yours, I hope you love it! I decided to not make it full smut, I enjoyed the dynamic as it was. Doesn't mean there's a lack of love. Please let me know what you think if you have a moment - messages, comments and feedback are appreciated! Thank you! xoxo

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, Parenthood, Talk of pregnancy, Sexual references - Sexual innuendos. Otherwise rather fluffy.

Requested? Yes! Requests are OPEN!

*My work is not to be transferred, copied, translated or reposted to any other sites without my permission. And you do not have permission. Please see my masterlist for all other works and warnings. Thank you! xoxo

Dylan liked to say that after their daughter was born that he made a firm "promise" that he and his wife would have a longstanding date night. Although in total honesty, going to the grocery store for the potatoes for dinner with her felt like a romantic outing.

Yeah, he'll take all the grief. Pile it on.

But Dylan Rhodes O'Brien is nothing, if not a man of his word. So every other Saturday since Melody Lynn had been born, he and the wife did something. In the beginning when she didn't like being far away from the baby for too long it was just a coffee and a walk around the block. And slowly it progressed. A movie, a couple of cocktails, dinner and cocktails. Then before they knew it, they were kissing Melody's forehead goodbye as they dropped her off at a friend's house for her very first sleepover.

"You sure that you're alright to watch her tonight?" Dylan inquired, hands stuffed in his pockets as he watched his wife fuss over the baby one last time.

Pacifier? Check. Mr. Bear? Check.

His wife had vowed to him that if he had forgotten Mr. Bear than it would be a long, long time before he would ever see her naked again. Their daughter lived for that stuffed bear, so he knew that the stakes were high.

"I promise, we will be fine. You know I'm dying for a little girl time with Miss. Melody. We're going to watch a movie, decorate some cookies. It's going to be so much fun. Now, you two. Leave us alone, and go have your own fun." The tall woman smiled, brushing the baby's messy hair back from her face.

"Okay. Call us if you need anything, or have any questions?" Dylan's wife mumbled, wringing her hands nervously as she stepped down from the porch and watched their little girl curl her body happily into her Auntie.

"Leave. I love you, but leave. We are more than fine here. Wave bye to Mama and Papa, Miss. Melody."

Dylan gently wrapped his fingers around his wife's elbow and pulled her down the porch, back towards their family friendly S.U.V. Usually on date nights they took out the Audi, but this date night was different. Instead of going out for dinner, drinks, a movie or dancing - they had decided to do any, or all of those things at home. Dylan had picked up something for dinner, was happy with their selection of wine and the weather forecast, so he suggested they have a night at home.

"It's so strange being here without Mellie." She sighed as they walked back into their home, nothing but the sounds of their shoes over clean hardwood floors.

"Can put on some music. Are you getting hungry?" Dylan muttered as he walked up behind her once he locked their front door and placed his hands on her hips. He honestly didn't mind the silence, not that he didn't adore his daughter. But the break from ringing bells, songs about washing your hands, and the fucking Wiggles was much appreciated.

"Yeah. Pour me some wine, first?" His wife requested as she leaned her body back into his, a hand reaching back to softly brush her fingertips over his facial hair.

"Of course." Dylan nodded with a gentle kiss to the side of her face before he removed himself from her vicinity and towards the kitchen where the wine was waiting for them. He made a show of uncorking the wine bottle, because it always made her laugh. He filled their glasses as much as he possibly could without spilling over the brim, then handed his love her glass, silently toasting her and them.

"So, what are you making me for dinner?" She smiled, licking her lips free of the alcohol he had served her. She thumbed at the corners of her mouth, a nervous habit of hers that he had noticed over their years together.

"Don't worry about it. Go sit outside, enjoy the nice night and I'll take care of it." Dylan breathed out as he kissed her forehead, his hands cradling her face. He wanted to take care of her, because she spent so much of her time taking care of him and Melody. It was genuinely the least he could do.

Dylan liked cooking, he just never got much of an opportunity to do it. He worked a lot still. He had time with the baby after she was born, he refused to work. He didn't care what happened. He shut down everything he was doing and wouldn't be away from his wife or his daughter for longer than absolutely necessary. Then as she got older, and became a little more independent he went back to work for a few projects - minor things here and there that didn't require him being away so much. But Dylan loved getting all the things he needed together, chopping, dicing and cooking it all to make something (arguably) delicious.

"Dylan, that was so good." She groaned as she sat back in her chair, hands resting on her stomach after she dropped her fork down to her plate.

"I'm glad. Been a long time since I've been able to feed you. Wanted to remind you that I am, in fact, a decent cook." Dylan smiled as he brought his wine glass up to his lips and emptied it, eyes on his wife the entire time.

"I mean, you aren't terrible. You did almost burn down our old place when you tried to cook that salmon. Remember? Our apartment smelled so bad." She laughed as she finished off her own glass of wine.

"I am never going to live that down, am I?" Dylan smirked as he reached for the wine bottle, their second, and filled their glasses once more.

"Nope." She grinned, arms folded over the outdoor table as she watched him.

A silence came between them again, but neither seemed to mind. The evening wind was soft, moving her hair around her face and shoulders while the sun set behind them, giving their yard a soft, orange glow.

"You miss Mellie?" Dylan inquired softly as he took another sip of his wine, his eyes moving from his wife to their yard which was littered with their daughter's toys. Dolls, bubble machines, strollers for said dolls, a stray unmatched shoe or two, her favourite giant red ball and for some reason a cooking pot. Dylan never questioned why.

"Yeah. Do you?" She questioned as she ran her fingertips down the stem of her glass.

"I always miss her when she's away from me." Dylan nodded as he kicked his legs out, getting comfortable as he felt the alcohol rush to his head. He wasn't sure if it was age, or fatherhood, but he couldn't drink like he used to.

His wife looked over the table at him with sweet eyes, the closest thing to heart-shaped eyes he had ever seen. She rested her chin on her hands, holding her pretty face up as her eyes got heavy with the alcohol in her system.

"What do you think about us, maybe, trying to have another baby?" Dylan mumbled as he ran his fingers through his hair, his heart rate starting to pick up in his chest.

"You wanna get me pregnant, O'Brien?" His wife slurred, the wine getting the best of her as she took hold of her bottom lip between her teeth.

"You know I loved it when you were pregnant with Melody. You were all round, and soft. A monster for all things salty, or spicy. Couldn't feed you quick enough." Dylan teased as he slid his chair closer to hers, reminiscing about the time not too long ago, she had been pregnant with their girl.

"Lots of people dip their french fries in hot sauce." She pouted as she scooted to the edge of her seat so she was able to put her hands on his face, his facial hair prickling the tips of her fingers.

"Yeah. I'm sure lots of pregnant women do it." Dylan breathed out, the corners of his lips turning up as he reached for her hips and pulled her into his lap. He ran his hands over her soft, bare thighs. Her thin, short sundress hiked up above her hips as she rested in his lap, her feet across his armrest and her arms tossed around his neck.

"Do you really want to have another baby?" She questioned as she twisted a section of his hair at the top of his head around her fingertips.

"Yeah, I do. Been thinking about it for a while, and I like the idea of there being four of us. I think Melody could benefit from a sibling. And maybe, I like how you look when you're pregnant with my baby." Dylan smiled softly as he leaned his head back to look at her, his palm resting against her hip.

"M'kay. I'll let you take me inside on one condition. Tell me, boy or girl next?" She inquired as she got up off of his lap, stumbling on tipsy feet as she tried to steady herself.

"Honestly? I kinda like the idea of being surrounded by a bunch of beautiful women that look exactly like you. Besides, I can encourage at least one of them into liking baseball. So, a girl." Dylan laughed softly as he stood up with her and wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her.

"Dylan." She hummed as she turned around in his arms, her fingertips curling into the material of his shirt. She pressed up onto her toes to get closer to his height, trailing her fingertips from his chest up his neck and into his hair to make him shiver.

"Let's go, woman." Dylan grunted as he hitched at the waist, draping her body over his shoulder and doling out a firm smack to her backside before he secured his arms around her legs as he walked back inside their home.

"Dylan! You have a nice butt." She laughed as she returned the favour and smacked his backside while she was upside down over his shoulder, on the way to their bedroom.

"Thanks, hon." Dylan scoffed as he carefully walked through their home, stepping over more stray toys left behind by their daughter, making his way towards the master bedroom.

Dylan dropped them both down on the bed, a smile on his face at his wife's raucous giggle as they rolled in the sheets for a moment trying to gain some semblance of balance. Dylan pressed up on his forearms above her, looking down at her face while she looked up at him. Her eyes were a little heavy from all the wine, a soft flush in her face from being tossed over his shoulder.

"Kiss me." She whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her knees spread wide on the mattress for him. It was his not-so-secret favourite, the way her body opened up for him in moments like this, silently telling him that she wanted him too. And after all these years together their bodies seemed to move as one.

"Kiss you as much as you want. You know I love your mouth." Dylan muttered, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"Dylan!" His wife gasped, eyes wide as she tugged his hair and forced his head back.

"No! C'mon, don't do that. I wanna kiss." Dylan chuckled as he took hold of her hips and used his abdominal muscles to flip them over, making her straddle his waist. He pushed his hands underneath her dress, feeling her warm thighs beneath his palms.

"Fine. Give me a kiss then." She whispered as she lowered her chest down to his, holding his bearded jawline in her hand and guided his lips to hers.

Dylan breathed a sigh of relief through his nostrils as his lips finally connected with his wife's. He pressed his fingertips to her thighs underneath her dress, loving how soft and smooth her skin was. Her fingertips traced over the scruff along his jaw as she started to slowly move her hips, rubbing herself over his manhood. Dylan moved his thumbs up along her thighs to flick over the straps of her panties then hooking them underneath the thin lace.

"Take these off for me?" Dylan mumbled into their kiss, running the length of his thumbs over her hips. He reluctantly removed his hands from inside of her dress as she stood up over him, feet on either side of his hips as she shimmied out of her underwear and kicked it off of the bed.

Dylan reached up for her hips again, grabbing her bare skin beneath her dress and tossed her to the top of the bed. He pulled off his own shirt as his wife rustled around in the sheets, getting comfortable then he crawled between her legs again. He held his weight on his hands as he dropped his head down, kissing and sucking along her neck. He hummed into her skin as she twisted her fingers in his hair, keeping his lips against her neck while she hooked her ankles under his backside to keep him close.

"I know we fooled around in the shower last night, but it feels like it's been forever since I've felt you next to me like this." She breathed out as she moved her fingers from his scalp, down his shoulders and over his bare biceps.

"I'm right here, sweetheart." Dylan muttered into the crease of her neck as he moved to lace his fingers with hers, pinning her hands over her head against the pillows.

"Be closer." She wriggled in his grasp a little, fingers gripping at his while her knees pressed to his sides.

"You have to let me go a little for that, sweetie." Dylan laughed softly with a shift of his hips between his wife's tight gripped knees. He pressed his forehead to hers, letting her bite at his bottom lip as he continued to keep her hands above her head.

"Dylan?"

"Yes, my love." Dylan mumbled as he place soft kisses all over her face. Between her eyebrows, the corners of her eyes, the tip of her nose, her cheeks, chin and finally her lips.

"If it's only ever the three of us -"

"Then I'll still be the luckiest man in the world. Coming home to you and Mellie is the best thing that has ever happened to me. If it doesn't happen for us again, then that's just fine. I've got my girls." Dylan smiled softly, untangling one of their hands to hold her face and thumb at her cheekbone.

"But we can still try?"

"As much as you want." Dylan grinned with a lick of his lips.

**I have stopped doing a tag list for the time being. Please let me know what you think if you have a moment! Thank you so much xoxo

Requests for Dylan O'Brien and Andrew Garfield are open. Requests for OBX are closed.

[bopbopstyles]

CROWDED PLACES

RATING: R/smut (sex, cursing, some handcuffs)

WORD COUNT: 7.8k

CATEGORIES: roommate!harry, bi!y/n

MASTERLIST |  TALK TO ME | REST OF THE BIFICATHON

a/n: here is my entry for @harrysclementines​​ and i’s bificathon (view them all here)!!!!!! i had prompts 18 and 19 (”Y/N brings home girls and guys (roommate!harry)” and “Harry asks her about the differences in sex between guys and girls”) and here’s what happened. as a bi person i had SUCH a fun time writing this, and i hope you enjoy. named for the BANKS song of the same name. xoxo, love u all my bi angels!

“Are you saying I can just have sex in your bed without you there?”

You grimaced. “Actually on second thought, please don’t do that.”

“Only with you present, I promise.” The words were out of his mouth before he had even processed them, the unabashed flirtation so sexual and clear. It made your eyes widen and you stop midway through the sip of wine you were about to take. He didn’t even know what to say after that—did he apologize? He couldn’t read your face, couldn’t see if you were okay with his words or made you uncomfortable.

“H, are you trying to get me into bed with you?”

The nickname you had for him fell differently in this moment, the sexual context sending blood straight to his pants. “What if I was?”

or

Y/N is bi, Harry’s her roommate and curious

pls reblog and share with your friends 💕

Harry found out you were bi by walking into your shared kitchen and finding a girl struggling to figure out your shared intricate coffee maker dressed in your clothes, her hair tangled around her shoulders.

“Need help?” He asked, walking toward the stranger in his kitchen.

The girl’s head bounced up at the sound of his voice and sighed. “Fuck, you scared me. Uh, yeah, thanks. I was trying to make coffee for Y/N but…”

He chuckled to himself and nodded for the girl to move to the side. “Nice of you.”

“I’m Emily, by the way,” the girl told him. “You’re Harry, right? Y/N mentioned she had a roommate last night.”

Harry flicked some buttons on the machine, fiddled with the coffee filter, and then the machine whirred to life. “Yeah, I’m Harry. Y/N mentioned she was going to some club last night—that where you two met?”

The girl nodded, leaning against the counter. “Yeah.”

Harry paused, not really knowing what else to say over the sound of the coffee dropping into the cup situated below the spout. He had come in for some breakfast and coffee, but he didn’t really want to make small talk with your hookup of the week, if he was being honest. So he decided to table coffee, and instead grabbed a box of cereal from the cabinet and the milk from the fridge and made himself some cereal.

“Nice meeting you,” he said to the girl before turning around and heading back to his room.

“Bye,” Emily replied and with that he left the kitchen, beelining for the safety of his own space.

Settling down into his bed, he thought about the girl in his kitchen and you, obviously still tucked into your bed. You two had never really had the conversation about your sexualities—you’d become roommates last year through an advertisement you placed on Craigslist and had spent most of the year just figuring one another out and becoming friends. The topic had never really come up and he had just assumed—wrongly, apparently—that you were straight, since he only really saw you with guys. Although, to be fair, there were nights that you didn’t come home and he didn’t know where you ended up on those nights.

He didn’t care in the slightest, just intrigued by this new piece of information he had discovered. He was curious, if he was being honest, but he didn’t really know if it was his place to ask you about it. Was that rude? He didn’t really know. He’d never just…found out about his friends’ sexuality like this, usually they told him outright at some point, so he was in uncharted territory.

Perhaps he’d just let you bring it up. Or he’d mention that he had met Emily in the kitchen, and see where the conversation went. He settled on the latter, deciding that would open the discussion up but not be too aggressive. More than anything, he wanted you to feel comfortable talking to him about these kinds of things, and also know that he didn’t mind who you brought home or dated.

So, he settled into his pillows and turned on Netflix, starting up a crime documentary he hadn’t seen yet, and ate his cereal.

When he resurfaced two hours later, you were in the kitchen with a skillet of eggs cooking, scrolling through something on your phone and sipping on a cup of coffee. You greeted him with a quiet “good morning” and he responded with the same, before going to the sink to rinse out his bowl and place it in the dishwasher next to him. Then he grabbed himself a cup of coffee, adding a dash of milk, and settled in at the breakfast bar.

“So,” he said, making you turn and look at him. “I met Emily this morning.”

Your eyes widened slightly, but then you nodded. “She told me. Said you helped her with the coffee maker.”

“I did.” He took a sip of his coffee and paused, unsure of what to say next. “She seemed nice.”

You stood up and fully turned so you were facing him, your phone forgotten on the counter. “Yeah, she is.”

“Are you going to see her again?”

You seemed a bit shocked by the question, but shook your head. “I’m not really looking to date anyone right now.”

There was the confirmation he’d been seeking—that Emily had in fact been a hook up. “So all the people you’ve brought back…?”

“Are just some fun,” you finished. “Where’s this all coming from? We don’t usually talk about this stuff.”

“I was just trying to figure out if I needed to prepare to have another roommate,” he quipped, and you snorted before turning back around to where your eggs were sizzling in the pan.

“What about you?” You asked him, using the spatula next to the stove to lift the eggs out of the pan and placed them on a light blue glazed plate, one of the ones you’d bought when you moved in and adored. Harry was banned from using them, relegated to the white porcelain ones he’d purchased.

“Sorry?”

You grabbed the salt and pepper and sprinkled a bit on your eggs, then grabbed your slices of toast from the toaster where they were waiting. “Are you looking to date right now?”

He hadn’t been expecting you to throw the question back at him, but he figured you had every right to. He’d asked you, why not share himself? “I mean, if I met the right person I would be. But I’m not like, actively seeking a relationship.”

With a set of silverware in one hand and your plate in the other, you walked towards him, setting your food on the counter on the other side of the bar so you could face him as you ate. For some reason, you loved to eat standing up  and it had never made sense to him. “So you’re not on dating apps and all that? Hinge and that shit?”

He shook his head as you swiveled to grab the jam from the fridge and began to spread it on your toast. “I can never figure out how to talk to people on them. They’re just so awkward.”

You nodded in agreement before taking a bite of your toast. “Meeting people in person is way better. I tried one once and it was so unpleasant. Felt like so much work, you know? Like finding someone shouldn’t feel like a part-time job.”

He chuckled to himself at your observation. “Right? I’d rather just meet someone through friends or something and talk to them, be able to figure out in person if there’s something there.”

“One time I’d been talking to this girl on Bumble for two weeks, we met up, and I immediately was like, ‘fuck I have no sexual interest in her.’ You know? Like there was no chemistry. We would’ve been great friends, but the other stuff? Nada.” You always talked with your hands and even did in this moment, you slice of toast in one hand and a fork in the other.

“What’d you tell her?” He asked, taking another sip of his coffee as you took a bite of egg.

“The truth,” you said, covering your mouth as you spoke and chewed at the same time. He loved how comfortable you two had become with each other, the natural result of sharing an 800-square foot apartment with another person. “And then she texted me like a month later saying she thought ‘We had really good energy’ and wanted to see if I was interested. So I had to tell her again that I wasn’t interested.”

“Shit,” he said. “That’s brutal.”

“Yep,” you replied, popping the p of the word as you took another bite of your breakfast. “So, what are you up to today?”

He shrugged. “Nothing, really.”

“I was planning to go to IKEA to look at a new bed frame and look at all the room set-ups—want to come with?”

It was one of your favorite shared activities, which you had discovered when he had moved in and needed to buy a whole host of new furniture. You’d tagged along since you knew the apartment better, and you’d ended up spending practically the whole day inside. Since then, it was your rainy day activity.

“What’s wrong with your current bed frame?”

You shrugged, picking up your toast and taking a final bite. “It creaks too much. I think it’s just old, so I want something different.”

Harry tried not to think about why your bed creaked so much, and instead told you he’d come with.

Harry was pushing you around IKEA and frankly you were having the time of your life. Just to piss him off you’d gotten into the cart, folding up your body and leaning against the front of the cart, and he’d just rolled his eyes at you and called you a child before rolling the cart towards the entrance to the store.

You had made it through the bathroom section without much incident, but when you had reached the living rooms you had decided that you simply had to try out all of the couches, even though neither of you needed to buy one. Together you developed a rating scale—firmness of cushions, bounce level, and ability to lay down comfortably. A couple ranked high on all three scales, but none just blew you away, so you jointly decided you definitely didn’t need to invest in another couch for no reason.

In the kitchen department, you both oohed and ahhed over countertops and backsplashes, pointing out appliances you desperately wanted. You tried to convince Harry that you really needed new bar stools, but he wasn’t swayed. However, he did relent and allow you to buy some new spatulas and other kitchen utensils after you told him they were replacements for the current ones, which were two years old at least.

Finally, you reached the beds. Bed after bed laid out in front of you, just waiting for you to try them out and see which one was both sturdy and sleek. You beelined for the first one, sitting down on the mattress and looking up at Harry, who was leaning on his elbows on the handlebar of the cart and watching you.

“Come test it out with me,” you said, patting the bed next to you. “I need to see how the weight of two people feels on it.”

His eyebrows furrowed, but he left the cart and moved towards you. He was dressed in one of his favorite sweatshirt, a black one he’d gotten in Tokyo at a DJ Harvey and Keb Darge party, and a pair of blue jeans with a frayed hem, and white Vans with the pink and blue laces you’d given him for his birthday threaded through each one of the shoes, a beanie covering his curls and his black sunglasses tucked into the neck of the sweatshirt. You adored Harry’s clothes, frequently stealing them which he found aggravating and you loved doing for that very reason.

He settled on to the bed next to you, his knee knocking against yours as he settled back on his hands. “So? Thoughts?”

His eyes flickered over to you. “Seems sturdy enough, but I hate the headboard.”

You turned to look at the headboard, which was just one long piece of skinny blond wood. Upon investigation, you also hated it. “Agreed. Next one!” You scampered over to the next one, which had a wrought iron headboard in black and you quite liked the look of it. The rest of your furniture was black and your duvet was a light blue, so it would fit in perfectly. “What do you think of this one?”

Harry moved to sit next to you and shrugged. “Seems good.”

“The headboard up to par for you?”

“I like it. You?”

You nodded and then looked at him, deadpanning, “You could hook handcuffs through it.”

Harry choked on air, before bursting into laughter at your comment. “Is that a priority for you? The ability to handcuff someone to your headboard?”

“Honestly, yeah. Otherwise what good is it?”

He bit back a smile, and then turned to look at the other beds around you. “Well on that basis, we can cut out most of the beds here. Ones like these are the best, nothing that’s wood.”

“Know from personal experience, do you?” Harry blushed and you poked his side. “Didn’t know you were so kinky, Styles.”

“Right back at you,” he replied. “So what other tests are involved in the purchase of a bed?”

“Well,” you began, pushing yourself higher on the bed. “Mine creaks a ton, so I need to know how much this one does.”

He glanced between you and the bed, and then the number of people around. “What’s your plan? Jump on the bed or something?”

You shrugged. “Maybe. Got a better idea?”

“You could like, try and push it forward and back?”

“Go for it.”

Harry stood up and walked to the head of the bed, grabbing onto the frame and pulled it forward and back—or tried to. The headboard didn’t budge and you watched with a quirked smile. “It’s not moving,” he mumbled. “Maybe that’s good? Means it’s strong and all that?”

For being two 26-year-olds, you realized, the two of you still didn’t know much about furniture. “Probably. But I still think we should do the jump test.”

“I am not jumping on that bed with you.”

“Harry…”

“No, Y/N, we’re in the middle of a store!”

You huffed out a breath. “Fine.” Then, you turned over and got up on your hands and knees and pushed all of your weight into the mattress and moved backward and forth, trying to see if it would creak or sway as you moved. You could feel Harry’s eyes on your form but you paid him no mind, your focus on the task at hand.

Harry, meanwhile, swallowed thickly as he watched you, the sway of your body sending thoughts he really shouldn’t have been having through his head. Did you realize what you were doing? The position you were in and what it made him think of? Probably not.

“I think this one’s actually pretty good,” you informed him, turning over and lying down on the mattress. “Should I get the mattress too? I’ve had mine for like five years. What’s the lifespan on a mattress?”

“Dunno,” Harry answered, leaning his arm against the wrought iron headboard. “Can you afford both?”

You groaned and sat up. “Why on earth did you have to bring up money? I was having so much fun until you got all responsible on me.”

“Hey, someone’s got to have some sense in our apartment.”

“And that someone is you?”

“You’re the one who wanted to jump on beds in the middle of IKEA on a Saturday, not me.”

You huffed out a sigh and pushed yourself off the bed, coming to standing. “Come on, let’s go look at desks.”

“So you’re getting this one?”

You nodded. “It’s the best one for the handcuffs, isn’t it?” He blushed and you walked ahead of him, letting him push the cart after you.

You spent the rest of Saturday deconstructing your old bed frame and building your new one with Harry’s help. It was definitely a two person job—screwing together the support pieces to the headboard and placing the slats properly, lifting your mattress onto your new bed. By the end of the whole process you were tired, hungry, and a bit cranky, but you had a new bed that you adored. Harry ordered you both pizza, and you opened a bottle of red wine once you’d finished your food, pouring you both a glass.

Harry was sitting on the couch, his sweatshirt long gone, in just his jeans and a black t-shirt stretched across his muscular upper body. In the year he’d lived with you, he’d gained a significant amount of muscle mass, transforming from the more ropey guy who moved in, into this man who looked like a fucking Greek God after a day in the sun. You carried over the wine, handing him his glass and setting the bottle on the table for refills that would definitely occur.

You picked up the remote, anticipating a night of re-watching each of your favorite trashy teen dramas from the early 2000s (yours was What a Girl Wants or the Lizzie McGuire Movie, depending on your mood) when Harry spoke.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” you answered, taking a sip of your wine and opening the Netflix app on your TV.

“It might be a bit too personal, so if you don’t want to answer, just don’t—“

“Harry, just spit it out,” you said, cutting him off.

“What’s the difference in sex between guys and girls?” His question was rushed, but you made out every word and it made you choke on your wine a bit.

You set down your wine glass and turned to fully face him. “Like…generally?”

The blush that crept across his cheeks was endearing, obviously regretting the question once it was out of his mouth. “I don’t know. Fuck, forget I asked—“

“It’s fine,” you told him. You considered his question, mulling over the experiences you’d had with both sexes and comparing the two. To be honest, you didn’t spend much time comparing them because they were different in so many ways. “The most glaring thing,” you began, “is that sex with women can just keep on going until one of you like…can’t anymore. There’s no waiting or anything like there is with guys. So it means that it’s really intense for like a long period of time.”

He was listening intently, fingers tight around his wine glass as you spoke. To be frank, you couldn’t really believe you were having this conversation with Harry of all people. “I guess it’s also different because you don’t have penetration with girls—at least, not in the same way. I’ve never used a strap-on with anyone, just like oral and hands, so it means those things are more intense, in my opinion. Also, girls are really fucking good at oral—not that guys aren’t—but it’s just so good.”

“What makes them better?”

“Not better,” you said, “just different. Softer, in my opinion—like their fingers and hands are softer. And they also can figure out what you need faster, or maybe that’s just the people I’ve been with. There’s definitely something to be said for being a woman and knowing what other women need.”

If it wasn’t for the wine in his hand, Harry might not have had the courage to have this conversation. It had been sitting in the back of his mind for ages, before he even found out you were bi, but now that he knew you were you were one of the few people he could talk to about something like this. You were also one of the few people he trusted to have this conversation with and it to not become too awkward. He felt more comfortable around you than he did with most other people, that was for sure. He considered what you had said, mulling the words over in his head. Softer. He understood that—he loved the softness of women when they touched him, their longer fingernails and the kitten licks they spread over his body.

“Why do you ask?” You tucked your legs up, hooking your arm around your knees as you took another sip of your wine.

He chewed on his lip for a minute, rubbing his finger across the exterior of his glass. “I was just curious, I guess. I didn’t know you were bi until you brought Emily back, so I just started thinking about it a bit. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” you told him. “I guess I didn’t even realize you didn’t know, to be honest. I don’t really feel the need to constantly be coming out to people, if that makes sense. Especially if I trust that they won’t care either way.”

“It does.” He shifted forward, taking another sip of his wine and mirroring your position. “And I don’t care either way, just so you know.”

You gave him a smile. “I appreciate that.” You fiddled with the hem of your pajama shorts, the old ratty blue ones from Target you’d had since college, before asking the question floating around in your head. “Now that you’ve asked me a sexual question, it’s my turn.” His eyebrows jumped, but he nodded his okay. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?”

“Are you asking me about my kinks?” He asked, a playful grin on his face, and your eyes fluttered down in embarrassment. “To be honest, I haven’t really tried all that much—haven’t been in that many relationships where I feel comfortable trying stuff out, you know?”

“You’ve obviously tried handcuffs,” you quipped, and he blushed.

“I haven’t, actually. Just…thought about it, I guess.”

“Well,” you said, the wine emboldening you, “you’re always welcome to try it with my bed.”

He laughed, one of his full body ones that made you smile widely at him. “Are you saying I can just have sex in your bed without you there?”

You grimaced. “Actually on second thought, please don’t do that.”

“Only with you present, I promise.” The words were out of his mouth before he had even processed them, the unabashed flirtation so sexual and clear. It made your eyes widen and stop midway through the sip of wine you were about to take. He didn’t even know what to say after that—did he apologize? He couldn’t read your face, couldn’t see if you were okay with his words or made you uncomfortable.

But then you saved him, giving him a small and flirtatious smile, one he’d only seen you give others, never him. The one where your eyes had a fire to the edges, a slight curve to your pink lips, your tongue dart out to wet them. “H, are you trying to get me into bed with you?”

The nickname you had for him fell differently in this moment, the sexual context sending blood straight to his pants. “What if I was?”

The conversation had taken a rapid turn and it had your skin warming, your brain abuzz. What if he was? You had to admit, you’d always found Harry attractive, from that first moment you met him in a coffee shop after he responded to your Craigslist ad. You had always told yourself it was just normal attraction, the same attraction you had to that boy you’d known your entire life and knew was attractive but never actually considered anything more with. It was platonic. You lived with the guy, for Pete’s sake—you witnessed his messy room and how he struggled to cook fish properly and when he had vomited after a night out with his friends. You’d seen him at his worst and at his best, but so had he.

Living with Harry had brought you close in a way you didn’t expect—you didn’t necessarily share everything with him, but he knew you in a way few others did. He could read you well, know how your day was by the way you entered the apartment. You liked the same type of movies, you had routines, you shared about your families over pasta dinners and a bottle of wine when the power was out and you had nowhere else to be. More than anything, you felt safe with him, comfortable, valued. He had always gone out of his way to make sure you felt comfortable with living with him and you thought he was honestly the best roommate you had ever had. You were endlessly grateful he responded to the ad and you’d ended up living with him.

But sex with him? Would it change everything? Probably. Would it change it for the worst, though? You weren’t sure. “Would it change anything?” You asked hesitantly.

He paused, the tension between you thick in your small living room, the soft light from the lamp in the corner basking you both in a warm yellow glow. “Not unless we wanted it to.”

You swallowed thickly. “Then I wouldn’t say no,” you said, voice soft.

Harry’s eyes were boring a hole in yours, his breaths shallow and frequent, panting as you both stared at each other, trying to figure out if what you thought was going to happen would actually occur. “Are you sure?” He asked, leaning slightly towards you.

You lowered your legs so that your knees weren’t up to your chest, and pushed your body closer to his in answer. He reached out and hesitantly brought his hand up to your cheek, his palm warm against your skin, finding your gaze before leaning in to close the distance between you.

The second his lips brushed yours you wondered why you hadn’t done this earlier. With his hand cupping your cheek, he pulled you in closer, his free arm wrapping around your lower back and tugging you into his body. He tasted like pizza and red wine and you thought that you probably did too. Your hands reached up to grip the back of his neck, holding him closer to you and shifting towards him. It felt electric, kissing him, and you were falling into it faster than you could think, craving more and more from him, desperate for his touch and the way he prodded open your lips and touched your tongue with his own.

He was grabbing at your hips, squeezing your skin through your pajamas shorts and the oversized band t-shirt you wore, the pads of his fingers digging into you and his rings heavy against your clothes. Fuck it you decided, and pushed back on his shoulders a bit, unwinding your legs, and swinging them onto either side of his hips, settling firmly into his lap. He looked surprised at your movement, but not mad, especially whenever you adjusted and brushed over his hard-on.

“Fuck,” he mumbled against your lips when you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close as you kissed him. Pushing up the hem of your shirt, his fingers danced across your back, sliding up your bare skin. You never wore a bra at home, something he’d long ago gotten used to, but to have you pressed to his front, your nipples peaking out, and feeling your bare back under his hand was a completely different experience.

You tugged on the ends of his hair and he groaned into your mouth, a smile spreading across your lips that were between his. With your teeth you tugged on his bottom lip, pulling it away from his mouth and watching as his eyes fell to your mouth, his chest rising and falling as you let go of his lip and sat an inch away from him. Then, he was surging forward again, holding your head in one of his hands and pulling your mouth back to his, chasing you.

Everything about the moment felt good—from the way his hands felt on you to the smell of his cologne and the shower gel you both used, the shared laundry detergent on his clothes. His lips on yours, the prod of his tongue against yours, the way the sounds that left him rang in your ears. Your chest was crushed against his, knees tight against his hips, pushing him back into the pillow behind his head so that you were both horizontal on the couch, your body hovering over his.

The two of you lingered in that position, letting the swivel of your hips over his pelvis draw moans from you both, soft and breathy sounds that filled your living room. Harry’s hands ran under your shirt and then back down to your hips to guide you, a path he repeated over and over again and you weren’t complaining. You loved the feeling of his hands on your body. You were resting fully on his chest, your nipples hard under your shirt as you ground yourself against him, your forearms resting on the pillow behind his head for leverage.

When his hips bucked up into yours, you couldn’t help but rasp his name, a “Harry,” falling from your lips with ease. You trailed your lips down his neck in response, pushing at the neck of his shirt to find the spot at the base of his neck where you sucked harshly. His fingers pressed tighter on your hips and you smiled against his skin. “Like that?” You asked, licking over the mark you’d made.

“Yeah,” he said, rolling your hips over his. You could feel how hard he was through your pajama shorts and his jeans and you were curious. Living with him you’d seen him in just his briefs and the occasional swimsuit when he was heading to the pool with friends, but you’d never seen him fully nude. However, you had a pretty good idea of his size and you couldn’t say you weren’t eager.

Slowly, you inched your hand down his chest, digging your nails into his skin through his shirt, loving the noises that spilled from his mouth at the feeling. When your hand reached his jeans, though, he pulled at your wrist, ripping you away. “What?”

“I wanna do you,” he said. “You were talking earlier about oral and now I’m curious where I fall on the scale.”

He was going to kill you, wasn’t he? “Okay,” you told him, pressing your palm into his torso. “Where do you want to be?”

“Bed,” he replied, nudging at your nose. “Let’s see how much that new bed creaks.”

You pushed up off of him, and he followed you to your bed with his hands on your hips, tugging you back into his chest mid-way through the way to kiss you again, pulling a gasp from your throat when he surprised you. When you pushed open your door, for the first time there was no point in closing it behind you because the only other person who could have seen what was happening was already in the room with you. Harry’s body mirrored yours as you stepped backwards towards your bed, following you as you fell onto the duvet that you had placed there only a matter of hours earlier.

You wanted his skin, to see him and feel him in this way, and so you pushed at the hem of his shirt, the word, “Off,” sticking in your throat when he pulled it up and off of his body, tossing it to the side without consequence. Bare skin stretched in front of you, covered in swirlings of black ink that you had seen before, but never like this. Never when it was yours to see, to touch, to feel. So you took full advantage, sliding your palms up his chest as he leaned back down.

“Your turn,” he mumbled, sucking on your nipple through your shirt, your back arching towards his mouth in a silent beg for more. Fingers pressed into the sliver of your stomach that was exposed, and you raised your arms as if to tell he could push it off, which he did, creeping the fabric up your body and leaving kisses in the wake of the hem. Once it was over your head, he licked over your bare nipple and your a wet mewl left your lips.

“H,” you rasped, tugging on the locks of his hair, the strands threading between your fingers.

His head bounced up, the forest green of his irises barely visible, his pupils blown out with desire. “What?”

You opened your legs wider, and Harry smiled devilishly at you, giving your cleavage on final pull with his lips before creeping down your body. You didn’t stop him when he went to tug off your shorts, nor did you stop him when he laid between your legs, or when he licked and sucked and pulled at your inner thighs, making your chest shudder with desperation.

Nor did you stop him when his tongue touched your clit, licking a straight line up from your slit to your bud. Instead, you gasped his name, a curse mixed in falling from your lips, and tugged his head closer to you. He’d collected saliva on his tongue without you realizing it and the wetness of it was running all over your hot skin, a distinct slurping noise filling the air that only made it hotter. You picked up your head and watched in rapture as he licked into you, his curls falling into his face as he moved between your legs.

He alternated between sucking on your clit and swiping at your slit, nudging his tongue into you just to drive you crazy. Which he succeeded in doing, based on how your hips picked up when he did it, chasing the pressure he left in his wake. He was turning you into a mess, a mess only for him, desire and your orgasm falling through you faster than usual. For some reason he had been concerned about how good he was, but now he was between your legs and you didn’t know how you had gone twenty-six years without him. How you had lived with him for a year and never felt him like this, seen him like this—his head tilting up and the sight of your juices on coating his lips and chin, his tongue darting out to taste them.

“So?” He asked, pressing into your plush thighs, his rings leaving an indentation in their wake. “Where do I fit on the scale?”

“You haven’t made me come,” you responded, voice rough, breath catching in your lungs as you tried to inhale properly.

A wicked smile flashed onto his face, and then he brushed his tongue in a circle around your clit, your fingers tightening in his hair. “I’m not done yet.” Then he was back between your legs, drawing mewls and moans from you like it was his job, and there was nothing you could do to stop them. Your eyes fluttered shut and your head fell back against the mattress, back arching as you tried to grind down on his face. You could feel your walls tightening around nothing and you needed something there, a little bit more.

“Your fingers,” you said, picking up your head to look at him. “I need your fingers.”

Harry glanced up at you, before he answered your plea with his touch, not his words. Not being a man for warning, the tips of his forefinger and middle finger brushed at your entrance just once before pushing inside of you, a deep and unrelenting moan flowing from you with ease. “Yeah? That feel good?”

You could tell he liked praise and so you tightened your hold on his hair and muttered a Yes, bringing his lips back to your center as he drove his fingers inside of you at a brutal pace. The sound of his fingers and your wetness echoed in your ears, but the louder sound was Harry’s grunts and moans and curses below you whenever he brought his head up for air. Somehow, he seemed to be enjoying this as much as you, which definitely gave him some bonus points in your book.

“Gonna come for me, Y/N?” His words were rough and deep, a lower octave to his voice you hadn’t heard before, and it made you desperate for him. Your hips pushed down against his hand, craving more inside of you, and that was when the cold metal of his rings brushed your entrance. The coldness against the warmth of your skin felt heavenly and you mewled at the touch, Harry chuckling lightly from where he laid.

You could feel your belly tightening, the tell tale sign of an orgasm quickly approaching, but you needed just barely more from him. You didn’t know what it was, but you needed more. So you asked, a “More, please,” leaving your mouth in a chant.

He was unfazed, doubling his pace inside of you and suckling on your clit repeatedly before letting his lips fall to your entrance, slipping around the taught skin with his tongue to add to the sensation. It had your back arching and you knew you were mere seconds away. “Don’t stop, please, don’t stop,” you called into the room, your grip on his hair lethal as he licked you into your orgasm.

It crashed into you and he fucked you through it with his fingers, sucking and pulling on your bud as you rode his fingers, back arched and a series of curses circling around you. “Beautiful,” you barely heard him mumble into your skin, the low rumble of his voice sending vibrations through you.

Once you’d regained your breath he was crawling up the length of your body, kisses littered across your bare skin. “Fuck,” you said, a chuckle leaving you as you were reacquainted with the sight of his face hovering above you.

“So?” He asked, hands coming to rest on either side of your head. “What’s my rating?”

You tugged at his neck and dropped his body to yours, his lips meeting yours in a cruel fire. You rolled your hips up and wrapped your legs around his waist, shoving him to the side that he rotated, falling to his back and you above him. “You know exactly how good you are,” you told him, licking and pulling at his neck. “You arrogant asshole.”

A laugh rumbled in his chest, his hands coming to sit on your waist as you brushed back and forth on his jeans. “I distinctly remember you asking me not to stop, so I’m going to go with a high rating? Perhaps the best of all the men who have come before me?”

You knew his ego was big enough that you didn’t need to inflate it, but for some reason you did anyways. “You’d be right about that,” you told him, shoving his legs apart so you could sit between them and popping the button on his jeans. “Now, can I fuck you?”

Harry laughed one of his full body laughs, his head raising off the bed at your words. “Yeah, go ahead, sweetheart,” he said once he’d calmed, a smile stretched across his face at the sight of you between his knees.

With a roll of your eyes, you tugged on the denim, pulling it down his legs. “Do you ever wear underwear?” You asked him, pushing the material off the bed and gazing at his erect pink cock resting on his belly.

“Why?”

“Just trying to figure out how you manage to walk around with that thing and no underwear.”

“Oi!” He said, a frown fixing onto his lips at your laughter. “It’s not a thing, it’s my dick and it’s about to be fucking you, so no mean words, hmm?”

When your fingers wrapped around him all of his laughter and complaints were gone with a string of curse words, his hips bucking up at your touch. You pumped him a few times, nosing at his thigh just to rile him up a bit more. He was warm and heavy in your grip. For the most part, you found dicks the same as all body parts, but Harry’s was beautiful in a way few were. It made you even wetter than he had left you and gathered saliva on your tongue, and when you pushed on the tip delicately with your thumbpad and heard him groan, you knew you couldn’t wait any longer.

You pushed up off of the bed and he whined at your absence, but you ignored him. You had a mission. Rifling through your bedside table, you finally landed on the item you were searching for—the handcuffs you’d purchased a few months ago and had been waiting to try out.

Harry’s eyes widened at the clink of the metal and watched as you swung them on your finger, a coy smile on your face. “Remember these?” You asked, moving to the headboard where you threaded through the wrought iron. “Didn’t think I’d forgotten, did you?”

“No,” he said, gulping and raising his wrists to you, pliant as ever.

“Good,” you answered, a kiss to each of his wrists before securing them in the handcuffs, tugging on the chain to make sure it would hold. “Now then.” You re-positioned yourself over his hips, one knee on either side, and trailed your fingers down his chest. “You look so pretty laid out for me like this.”

Harry’s mind was spinning as he gazed up at you. He’d never felt quite like this—so powerless, but so desperate for someone. You’d turned him to mush with just a few touches and he wanted you in a way he had needed few. The handcuffs weren’t what did it, either, it was the way you touched him, the quirk of your smile and your laughter, how you had bucked into his face, how your fingers touched his skin. He didn’t realize until he was underneath you how long he had been waiting to be there at your mercy, willing to take any shred you’d give him.

“You okay?” You asked, voice soft as you touched his cheek.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “I’m okay.”

You leaned down and kissed his chest, before snatching the condom you’d laid out on the duvet. Rolling it down his length he hissed at the touch, but you tried to be gentle, knowing that the handcuffs were probably a lot. Then, you rose up onto your knees, positioning yourself over him, and raised his cock, brushing the tip against your entrance. Your eyes found his as you lowered onto him, a groan leaving both of your chests as you took him.

“Holy shit,” he said as your hips met him, his length fully inside of you. “Shit, Y/N.”

You rocked back and forth on him, your fingernails digging into his chest at the feeling of him fitting so snugly inside of you. “Feels so good,” you mumbled, your words long gone from making sense. It always happened—you lost the ability to think about what you were saying, words becoming a string of consciousness. “So deep, H.”

“Yeah?” You could hear the handcuffs rattling against your headboard as you moved over him, but the bed wasn’t creaking yet, just shifting back and forth. His hips raised up to yours, pushing him deeper inside of you somehow and it made you both moan, deep and unrestrained.

Not having to censor your sounds was a completely different experience and you loved it. Your eyes flickered up to where his wrists were clasped in the handcuffs, his nails digging into his palms, the cross tattoo on his thumb shining in the light of your bedroom. “How do they feel?” You asked, bouncing up and down on him.

He couldn’t answer at first, mind swimming from the tight metal on his wrists and the way you held him inside of you so snugly. His whole body was warm, from his sweat and your touch and just the overwhelming desire rolling through him. “Like them,” he finally got out, because he did. Something about the restraints made it more intense, the fact that he couldn’t touch you, the fact that you were just fucking him like you wanted to. It was making his orgasm rush towards him, a twitching throughout his body he was barely staving off.

“They’re hot,” you said, using your knees you speed up your tempo, needing him faster inside of you. “Like seeing you all tied up.”

Usually you didn’t feel this comfortable this quickly with someone you were hooking up with, but with Harry you knew he would never judge him. You trusted him fully and here, in this room, was no different. “I’m close,” he rasped when you swiveled your hips, brushing him against your g-spot and whining out his name.

“Yeah?” Your fingernails crept down his torso leaving long red marks in their wake. “Wanna see you come, H,” you mumbled, splaying your palms out on his abdomen, which was taut from the pleasure he was trying to hold off.

“Fuck,” he yelled when you clenched down on him, his hips bouncing up immediately, slamming against yours. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” then he was coming, the combination of the cold metal on his wrists leaving him at your mercy and the tightness you held around him combining to send him toppling over the edge.

You bent over, your torso resting on his and fucked yourself on him as best you could, not wanting to overwhelm him but also chasing your own release. The sound of your name on his tongue, a raw and unhinged moan ripping through him from his own sensitivity. “Close,” you said, kissing across his collarbone and blowing softly on the mark you’d left earlier.

The sight of his eyes screwed shut and the panting of his breath, the way his chest heaved as he tried to calm down, mixed with him begging for you to find your release left you squirming above him, body rattling with your orgasm. You clenched down on him as you came and he grunted at the feeling, but you couldn’t stop it, a call of his name leaving your mouth.

It left you worn-out and desperate for cuddles, so you reached up, unfastening the handcuffs and releasing his wrists. His hands found your skin immediately, hooking them around your back and pulling you flush. You lifted up off of him so that he could pull the condom off and you whimpered at the loss. “Tired,” you mumbled into his chest.

“S’okay,” he replied, kissing the top of your forehead. “You good?”

“Yeah,” you answered, shutting your eyes against his skin. “How was that?”

He let out a breath, taut and tight in the room. “Fucking insane,” he answered, and you giggled next to him as he pinched your ass lightly. “You’ve been hiding that from me for all this time, huh?”

“Guess so.”

He chuckled, nudging your forehead with his chin. “Think you might want to do that again sometime?”

You picked up your head, opening your eyes to look at him. “Sure I didn’t scare you off with the handcuffs?”

“Fuck no,” he replied in a rush. “Blew my mind.”

“Then yeah,” you told him. “As long as it’s my turn next.”

One of his eyebrows quirked up, and then a grin spread across his face. “Your turn, eh?”

His red-tinged wrists wrapped around you and smothered you in kisses, your hands batting at his body in a fit of laughter, but he didn’t quit. Instead, he pulled you close, a final press of his lips to your cheek, and you settled in against his body, knowing he’d be there in the morning.

He was your roommate, after all—where else did he have to be?

thank you for reading!!!! please go check out the other writers in the bificathon here, reblog this fic, and come chat with me in my inbox about this fic if you liked it. xoxo love you all!

[youngbeezer]

You should do sharing a milkshake with Kevin Hayes!!!

Referenced Post

Prompt-- 8. Sharing a milkshake (w Kevin Hayes)

A/N: Here's another blurb from the 14 oddly romantic things blurb set. Ok, so I'm sorry this kind of took forever to finish (I was having major writing block). I also don't think this turned out that good but..

Thanks for requesting, hope you like it

Word Count: 1459 (also turned out way longer than I imagined)

Warning(s): none i dont think ?

join my taglist :)

The final buzzer echoed throughout the half full arena, signalling the end of the 2020-2021 Flyers season. I wait a few minutes up in the press box, surrounded by all the other family members and WAGS. We all watch the players give their final appreciations to the loyal fans in the stadium and make their way through the tunnel.

I let out a little sigh when I saw everyone else in the room start making their way out the door and to the locker room. I take one more final moment to take in all my surroundings before we all leave this place for a good few months. I watch the few remaining fans weave their way through the seats, the zambonis making their way onto the ice, and the janitors getting a head start on cleaning.

“Hey a/n, you coming?” Ryanne, one of my closest friends and the captain's wife, asks.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” I sheepishly rush out as I rise from my seat to meet her at the doorway. She gives me a knowing smile before leading the way down to the locker room.

When we finally make it down there, a few of the guys have already started making their way out. Claude is one of them, and as he comes over he gives me a half smile trying to put on a brave face. I give him a quick hug and assure him,

“Great season cap.”

“Thanks y/n.” He gives me a genuine smile at that and another pat on the back before making his way over to his family.

I wait patiently for my boy to make his way out, and occasionally give a few of the other guys hugs and reassurances. Finally, I see Kevin walk through the locker room door trailing behind Nolan Patrick, who both make their way over once they spot me in the crowd. Nolan makes his way over to me first and says a quiet “hey” before going in for a much needed hug.

I don’t say much except for the standard, “I’m proud of you”, “you played great,” and give him a few back rubs. But once I see my boyfriend finally make his way over here, I give Nolan one last smile before wrapping my arms around Kevin’s neck and pulling him as close to me as possible. He immediately buries his head into the crook of my neck, where I notice a few wet spots hit my skin. I bring my hand up to tangle in his hair and soothe sweet nothings into his ear to try and calm him down.

“I love you so much Kev. No matter what happens or how the season ended, I am always going to be so incredibly proud of you.” I reassured softly, giving his shoulder a few sporadic kisses.

He eventually pulls away clearing his throat and gives me a gentle smile. He brings me in for a sweet kiss that tells me all I need to know. That he appreciates me and my words, and that he’s going to be okay.

“Hayesy, you two coming out with us?” Scott questions us, giving me a quick smile before bringing his attention back to my boyfriend.

“Nah we’re gonna have to pass on this one, sorry.” He answers, giving me a knowing look.

“No problem. See you soon bud. Bye y/n.” Scott gives Kevin a little pat on the back and me a quick hug and then makes his way out of the arena with his girlfriend and the rest of the group who are going out.

Now Kevin and I have always had a tradition that we started back when he was still playing with the Rangers. After a particularly tough game for Kev, he didn’t want to go out with the team, but he also didn’t want to go back home and sulk. So, on our way home from the game, we ended up coming across this diner. We went in, got some food, talked for hours, and we shared a milkshake. We always share a milkshake. Even though it is not technically on Kevin’s diet plan for hockey, it is a comfort food (and if we’re being honest, I drink more than half of it most of the time anyway) but it always seems to do the trick of making the night a little bit better. Now after games, Kevin just needs to give me one simple look, and I know right away that it’s a diner night.

I grab ahold of Kevin’s hand and wait for him to grab his hockey bag before trekking through the Wells Fargo Center and out to the parking lot. We got lucky that when we moved to Philly, we straight away found a cute little diner like 10 minutes from the stadium. So as soon as Kev’s bags are in the trunk and we are both situated in our seats, I start the engine and make my way towards one of our favorite spots.

Luckily when we arrive, there are barely any other customers so we get seated right away. Our waiter, Sally, waltz’s right over to us with her ever present grin.

“Hey you two. It’s good to see you again!” She greets us. Sally was our waiter the first time that we came here and right away warmed our hearts with her happy go lucky personality and charming presence. And every time we came here again, she always walked straight over to our table to greet us and get our usual order. She has been a huge part of making this place such a great escape.

Kevin’s face brightens up with Sally’s presence and he replies back, “It’s good to see you too Sally. How are the kids?”

“Oh they’re great hun. Thanks for asking.” She beams. “Can I get you guys your usual?”

“Yes please.” I smiled at her. Sally nods back and makes her way into the kitchen to place our order.

I bring my attention back to my boyfriend to find him already with his eyes on me. He intertwined our hands together, and even brought one of them up to his lips to give a little kiss.

“Thank you for being here with me.” He confided.

“Of course Kev. I meant what I said earlier. I am so so proud of you and of everything that you accomplished this season.” I declared back.

Before he could say anything else, Sally arrived back at our table with our order.

“Here you are darlin’s. A chocolate milkshake. With two straws.” She gave me a quick wink before retreating behind the diner counter.

“You know you’re seasons technically over… so we could have both gotten our own milkshakes. I wouldn’t have told anyone.” I tease a little.

Kevin scoffs a little before retorting back, “You’re only saying that because you just want an entire milkshake to yourself.”

I let out a giggle and gave him a shrug before taking the first sip of the chocolate heaven.

“I’m just kidding Kev. I wouldn’t change our tradition for the world.” I genuinely smile back at him.

Kevin is silent for a moment and just continues to stare at me as I [religiously] sip the chocolate milkshake.

“You know I love you right?” Kevin claimed.

I pause mid-sip to look back up at him. My face softens at the fondness I see on his face and I go to give his hand a quick squeeze.

“Of course. I love you too.”

“C'mere.” He smirks at me, beckoning me to meet him halfway across the table. Our lips meet into a passionate kiss that speaks volumes on how we are both feeling at this exact moment. There is absolutely no one else either of us would rather be here with at this moment, in a tiny little diner pouring our hearts out to each other after the Flyers season just ended.

From New York, to Winnipeg, to now Philadelphia. No matter where we both are, as long as we have each other, then that’s all we need. But Sally and this chocolate milkshake are a great bonus.

“Mhm, that’s good.” Kev mumbles against my lips as he pulls away.

I chuckle confusedly and raise my eyebrows up at him before asking, “What, my lips?”

“Nah, the milkshake. You taste like it.”

Now I am full on cackling in this tiny diner, causing every head to turn in our direction. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sally smiling from ear to ear watching us.

I shake my head at my ridiculous boyfriend, who is now practically gulping down sips of the milkshake and I bemusedly reflect,

“God, I love you so much.”

Taglist: @heatherawoowoo @barzysandmarnersbitch @joelsfarabees @barzy-xoxo @hockeyplayerstories

Tagging a few othr people so this doesn't flop,,,,

@luukasreichel @jamiesdrysdales @frederikanderson @carepriceisgoodathockey @lovereadinghockeyy @prettyboyjackhughes @gigissports @cherrylita @turcsandzegras @iwantahockeyhimbo @bb-nhlqueen7 @2manytabsopen

[jadedxrealityw]

-Humming- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

    ☼-🐍-☼

   Request: @the--queen-of-hell   Draco x reader where they obviously have a huge crush on each other... and reader catches Draco humming a sweet tune to himself whenever he's trying to calm down (because maybe his mom did they when he was little)?? And later, Draco finds reader playing that same tune on the piano, and they kiss. Then draco asks her to play it again, and he kinda falls asleep on her shoulder?? Sth like that?? fluff overload? No pressure tho, totes understand if u dont wanna write it! xoxo

   Kody: Super cute. 

   House: Slytherin

   Possible Triggers/Warnings: cursing, panic attacks

    ☼-🐍-☼

   being wealthy did not mean comfort, not one bit. Being able to buy anything you want did not mean you had everything. Draco Malfoy did not have everything. It was hard to find comfort in Hogwarts when he are raised to keep up a tough exterior. 

   at the age of 13 is when he figured out was panic attacks are. It’s also when he started to have them quite often. A couple things triggered them: stress, anything involving his father, and keeping up appearances. He was lucky to have met his friends Blaise, Theodore, Pansy, and you. 

   each and everyone of you were like him. Purebloods, wealthy, and wanted so desperately to separate yourselves from your parents. Blaise and Theo just wanted to get married and move away to a small town. Pansy wanted to be a fashion designer and of course marry Ginny Weasley. 

   you wanted to be a pianist and travel the world playing your music. Oh yes, you might be wondering what Draco wanted most in the world. Well, as cheesy as it was. To be with you. Over the years of friendship between you two it was natural that romance would blossom. 

   the thing is the both of you have insane insecurities that would prevent you each time from confessing. You needed each other and wouldn’t risk losing what you had for everything. Even if it meant yearning for each other for the rest of your days. Love is blind or maybe you both were

    ☼-🐍-☼

   today Draco was on his own. Blaise and Theo had to retake an exam they missed all morning, Pansy was on a date with Ginny, and you offered to help Mcgonagall to prepare for morning classes like you did every so often. Draco didn’t like being left alone for long periods of time, but wouldn’t say anything.

   as he stood in his room he heard a slight tap to left. He gently placed down the book he was reading and looked towards the direction the sound came from. He saw his owl at the window, letter attached to it’s foot. He pushes himself up from the bed and walks over.

  he reaches for the window latch and pops it open before he pushes both sides. He reaches for the letter and gently unties it from its claw. “Thank you” he spoke softly and gently pet the owls head. His father would never let him name him because he didn’t want him to become attached to the creature.

   he would think of a appropriate name another day for his feathery friend. He flips the letter over and sees a black wax stamp with the letter ‘M’ engraved in it. Speaking of his father. His expression instantly dropped as he used his finger to tear it open. 

   He picks out the letter and unfolds it recognizing his father’s handwriting. He began to read the contents of the letter. Same old same old, asking about his studies and such and pushing onto him about being a true Malfoy and whatever the hell that meant. He felt his chest tighten a bit, like the air was being sucked out of his lungs

   damnit. Why couldn’t he just live his own life? Why did he have to push nice people away just because they weren’t a Slytherin or a pureblood? It was bullshit. Draco started to hyperventilate. Shit. Not now. Everything became hot. Why was the room so hot?

   dropping the letter, Draco runs out of his dorm. He needed fresh air or he’d pass out. Running through the halls, he began to lose his sense of direction. He pushes open a random door and slides down the closet wall until he hits the floor. He was panting heavily and his hands were shaking.

   he begins to hum a tune. A sweet tune his mother used to hum to him when he was younger and had nightmares. She always say “When you hum this it will calm you down and someone will come and find you. Sweet dreams Draco” he pulled his knees up to his chest and continued to hum the tune. 

    ☼-🐍-☼

   after you finished helping professor Mcgonagall you began to walk back to the Slytherin house. It was always cold at Hogwarts so you put on layers. A black turtleneck sweater with a emerald green one on top and black and white plaid pants. 

   you walked past the music room where you went to play piano and heard a faint humming noise. Taking a few steps back you lean against the door to listen to it. It was definitely male, but you couldn’t tell who it exactly was. It was a lovely tune. It was sweet and upbeat, almost like a lullaby of some sorts.

   after a minute or so the humming stopped. You push open the door to find Draco curled up against the wall. You rush over to him, dropping to your knees beside him “Draco?” you say reaching to grab his face. He looks up from the ground and at you “Y/n?” he asked, almost unsure if it was you.

   you nod and wrap your arms around him “Sorry i wasn’t here” you spoke in a hushed tone. He lays his head on your shoulder, shaking his head “It’s fine. Your here now” he says. Both of you held each other until you could no longer that day. 

   someone did come to find him that day. 

    ☼-🐍-☼

   you couldn’t stop thinking about the tune you heard. You were tossing and turning in your bed unable to sleep. Fuck it. You threw your blanket off your body and pushed yourself out of bed. You slip on some black boots real quick over your off white long socks. You had been wearing stockings and a oversized emerald green flannel. 

   you slowly creep towards you door, trying to not step on any lose floor panels that would creek and alarm anyone. You turn the handle of the door and step out into a dark hallway, looking to left. You step out and face forward so you could walk down the hall.

   smack!

   you come face first with a hard and warm surface “Ow!” you exclaim as you take a step back. You look up to see the one and only Slytherin prince, hair a mess and a confused expression “Y/n? What in the hell are you doing up so late?” he asked.

   you stumble over your words for a moment “Just wanted to sneak some snacks from the great hall. Cover for me if Snape comes. Okay bye” you push past him and rush down the hall. Draco stood dumbfounded trying to decipher what you just said. 

   so he followed you of course. What friend wouldn’t?

    ☼-🐍-☼

   as you walk down the hall, you neared the music room. Your fingers itched to press down on the familiar keys. You push open the door and step into the almost empty room, a smile gracing your face. You walked towards the piano and take a seat on the bench.

   you roll up your sleeves to your elbows and straighten your back. The tune flew through your head and to your fingertips. You played the song exactly the way you heard it. You had never heard Draco hum this before and you wondered where he had heard it from. 

   you gently swayed your head as you played the tune. Closing your eyes you smiled brightly. Soon enough you felt a presence next you, causing you to stop playing. You open your eyes and see Draco sitting next to you. Oh shit. You were caught “You heard me this morning, didn’t you?” he asked.

   you slowly take your hands off the keys, nodding. You look down in shame expecting him to be angry for eavesdropping on his private moment. You felt one hand grab your chin and turn it upwards and to the left to face Draco. He leans in a captures your lips in a sweet kiss.

   you subconsciously pushed his chest away, breaking you two apart. Draco looks down at you, your faces inches apart. He looks mortified, scared of what your next actions would be “I’m so sorry-” but you smashed your lips onto him instead.   

   he kissed back instantly, one hand squeezing your side while the other laid on the nape of your neck. Your kiss was sloppy and fueled by by every unspoken confession that was never said over the years. Oxygen is needed for humans to live apparently so you both pull away panting for air.

   “My mother is right” he spoke, making you laugh in confusion. “What?” you question. “My mother told me that whenever you play the tune someone will come and find you. It worked for me and it worked for you” you smile lightly and you both kiss again for a short moment.

   after your sweet exchange Draco asked you to play the tune again and you did for him. After a couple minutes he laid his head on your shoulder and fell asleep listening to you play. You didn’t want to move him so you wrapped an arm around him and smiles “Sweet dreams Draco”

    ☼-🐍-☼

   Kody: Short and sweet. Remember you can be asked to join to taglist. Anyways, peace.

    ☼-🐍-☼

   Taglist: @sonbelleame @moonpi3 @dracosathenaeum

[keanureevesisbae]

Becky's debut novel (Sugar Sugar fic)

A/N: So, @thelastsock gave me such a great idea: a snippet of Becky's book. So I have a snippet here, including a front cover, back cover and a little dedication page (because I am extra like that 😂😂, what else do you expect from me). Hope you like it xoxo

Chapter 1

YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

Those are the exact words that greet me when I walk up our porch to our front door. Let’s just say that my mom has a special way of welcoming her quests. I step over the slightly offensive doormat to get inside. Not a lot of people would expect this kind of welcome from the mayor, but then again: no one expected her to win the elections in our town Starfall Fields in the first way.

Not to be mean, but even I never believed in my mom and not for a second did I think she had any chance of winning. Mom has been quite the controversy the second she moved into town. How on earth would she be able to be the mayor?

Weirdly enough, she hasn’t made a complete fool out of herself in these two months she has been mayor. Actually, she’s been doing quite well. It’s just that her housekeeping skills have been lower than low.

I open the refrigerator and scrunch up my nose when I notice there is barely anything edible in here. Great.

I grab my phone and send my mom a text.

Josie: You need to do groceries

Mom: Do it yourself, you lazy bitch

Mom: Still love you though 😘

I chuckle as I read her text. She’s quite something, my mom, and if we don’t call each other bitch at least once a day, there’s something up and we should worry.

People might find it odd that we call one another bitch, but it’s just our way of showing our affection towards the other.

Somehow I find some left over yogurt that isn’t expired already. I peel a banana (to only throw half of it away, because it’s brown and squishy, therefore absolutely repulsive) and cut it into slices. I drizzle some maple syrup on top of it and want to add some raisins, but when I open the jar, I find out there is only one raisin left in it.

‘Mom,’ I whine, though she can’t hear me. ‘Really?’ This is just absolutely fantastic. After a long day at school, a girl can barely enjoy a nice little afternoon snack. I grab my bowl and walk over to the dining table. My butt barely touched the soft seating of the chair, when my best friend Andy FaceTimes me. I place the phone against the fruit bowl before I press answer. ‘What do you want?’ I ask him. ‘You literally saw me half an hour ago.’

He smiles, two dimples appearing in his full cheeks. ‘You know I can’t get enough of you, sugar.’

Andy and I have been best friends since I can remember, but that is mostly because we’ve been in the same class the moment we both stepped foot into kindergarten and we’re neighbors. We’re literally the two houses in a radius of around half a mile (yes, we took the time to measure it) and he isn’t the worst guy to hang around with.

Okay, he is the only one that doesn’t make me that angry, I have to fight the urge to claw his eyes out. I’m not gonna beat around the bush: I love hanging out with him.

While we see each other the moment we step out of our houses to go to school, share every class of the day with one another and we walk from school back to our houses, it’s hard to function without the other one. Therefore, we usually FaceTime the second we can after separating.

We’re quite the symbiotic pair.

‘Spit it out, Andy. What do you want?’ I ask.

‘I was wondering what your plans are,’ Andy says. ‘Mainly for tonight.’

I can’t help but chuckle. ‘There was a plan of me hanging on the couch, watching a movie with my best friend while we eat junk food, but your voice is telling me that you have something else in mind for the two of us.’

He nods. ‘I was thinking about you and I doing some FindUrPricing tonight.’

‘FindUrPricing is not a word, you idiot.’

‘I don’t care, miss Doyle,’ he retorts with a sassy undertone. He shakes his head, gestures I have to wait (like I’m going anywhere) and comes back into frame, this time with a tablet in his hands. ‘I have like five of these things, so what do you say? Want to bury them tonight, while we try to find something cool for it in return?’

Andy has this obsession with solving puzzles in newspapers like the old soul he is and since he is quite good and really fast, he has won multiple prizes, including multiple tablets.

‘Only if I find a diamond ring,’ I answer with my mouth full of yogurt.

‘Yeah, that’s attractive. You’ll find yourself a boyfriend in no time with those manners.’

I show him the finger. ‘I don’t need etiquette lessons from you,’ I say.

Andy sticks out his tongue. ‘Are you coming with me tonight?’ he asks me. ‘You know I need you.’

I chuckle. Andy is a disaster when it comes to being in the dark, but since FindUrPrice is just more fun at night, I have become his personal guard. ‘Okay, okay, but only if I can sleep at your place tonight. I have no idea what time my mom will be back from work.’

Andy’s parents are going to the opera’s tonight and afterwards, they’re staying in a hotel near the big city. Normally, they aren’t the type of people to go to the opera’s, but when their son wins tickets, including a stay in one of the most luxurious hotels in the area, who are they to say no?

Since I have no idea what time my mom manages to pull herself from city hall (to say she is a workaholic is an understatement), I’d rather sleep at Andy’s, then telling her we’ve been wandering on the street late at night.

Especially on a school night.

Sure, my mom knows about FindUrPrice, but she forbade me to ever do it late at night, because “you never know what can happen”. I personally think it’s not that big of a deal, since Starfall Fields is boring as hell and absolutely harmless, but my mother wouldn’t be my mother if she didn’t envision my death.

FindUrPrice is an app for the younger folks in our city and the few around. The organization hid a few gifts and presents and whenever you follow the leads and find something, you have to place something nice in return. It’s cute and me and Andy do it from time to time.

‘You’re coming over now?’ Andy asks.

‘To help you do your laundry?’ I ask, nodding towards the screen, mainly towards the enormous pile of clothes on his bed. ‘Didn’t think so. See you in a few hours, Andy.’

‘Please,’ he begs, right at the same time as I hear his mom in the background yelling for him. ‘Yes, wait a minute!’ he yells. ‘Can I live with you? I feel like your mother never pushes you to do chores around the house.’

‘That’s because I do them voluntarily. If mom doesn’t do laundry, no one does it. If mom doesn’t clean the toilet, no one does it. Believe me, with a mom who all of the sudden turns a bit blind when it comes house chores, there is more to do here than there is at your place. Don’t you dare whine about it, Andrew Carter.’

We hang up and I grab a magazine from the table, reading through some of the articles. How to painlessly bikini wax yourself, how to get rid of strawberry legs, how to get yourself a man in a week.

Geez, mom, why do you read this?

No wait, better question: mom, why haven’t you gotten yourself a man in a week? This issue is three months old.

My phone rings again and without looking I answer, since I know exactly who is calling me. ‘Andy, I’m not helping you with your laundry,’ I say. ‘Shirts, sweaters and other items for your upper body go on a hanger and the rest with clothespins on a drying rack. How many times do I have to tell you that?’

‘Thank you for this wise, yet unnecessary lesson in laundry,’ mom says and I can hear her smile in her voice. ‘But laundry is your chore, so I pretend I didn’t hear it.’

‘What do you want?’ I ask my mom.

‘Wanted to know your plans for tonight.’

‘I was planning on hanging out with Andy,’ I say. Go outside, do some FindUrPricing. ‘Watch a movie. Probably sleep at his place. He is home alone, you know how he gets.’

Mom snorts. ‘Oh, do I know. How old was he when he rang our doorbell, nearly crying because he was afraid of the dark?’

‘The last time was a few months ago,’ I chuckle. ‘Why do you want to know my plans for tonight?’

‘You know,’ mom starts and I do know. ‘There is still a lot to do here at city hall.’

‘Right,’ I say, ‘and you wanted to know whether or not I mind. Mom, I’m your daughter, I truly don’t care.’

‘I’ll make it up to you,’ she says, mostly because she is trying to feel less guilty.

And I wouldn’t be her daughter if I wasn’t going to totally exploit her sweet offer. ‘So, you’re making breakfast for me and Andy tomorrow?’

She sighs. ‘Goodness gracious, really? I’m going to pull an all nighter.’

‘You wanted to be mayor and you’re also a mother. Deal with it.’

Mom scoffs. ‘And here I was thinking I was gonna get some sympathy from my daughter.’

‘Ew never,’ I say.

‘Well, I might just make breakfast for you, only if you eat it here. I might be your chef, but I’m not a waiter and I’m certainly not gonna walk it to the Carters.’

I scoff. ‘Okay, I think I can live with that.’

‘Alright, enjoy your night, Josie and don’t make it too late okay? Ten o’clock lights out, okay?’

No. ‘Of course. Bye mom.’

I look at the picture on the dining table. Despite not being blood related, my mom and I are really close. According to Andy’s mom, it never seemed like my mom would settle down. She moved to this boring place a few years prior to finding me on her doorstep. She was thirty and didn’t have a husband (nor had any intention of settling down with anyone—she turned down a lot of men who asked her out in Starfall Fields). Even back then, she was already a workaholic and worked over time as the mayor’s assistant.

One day, when she was getting herself ready for work, she heard soft cries from her front porch and when she checked it out, there was yours truly.

I was around a year old and in the cradle, there was a note saying that whoever found me, to take good care of me. My DNA wasn’t available in any database, just like there were no matches at all.

I have no idea who I am, who my biological family is and where I’m from.

Mom adopted me, because I only felt safe with her and since that moment, we were a duo.

A year and a half ago she became the mayor and since then she is everywhere in Starfall Fields, except home. I barely see her, but she does a lot for this town and I don’t think I have the right to whine about it, especially because it means many many sleepovers with Andy and many nights wandering around the woods to play FindUrPrice.

Sure, I miss her from time to time, because she’s still my mom. From someone who was home a lot, would wait for me on the porch no matter the weather when I came back from school and had chocolate pie ready for me and Andy, she changed to a real career woman who is everywhere in town.

But that’s okay, she’s happy and when she is, I am too. I should be, especially after everything she has done for me.

[karasunology]

❝ AW, YOU'RE BLUSHING LIKE A ROSE. ❞ & ❝ I LIKE THE WAY YOUR HAND FITS MINE. ❞ with KUROO TETSUROU !

✎ . . . "Aw, you're blushing like a rose." for Kuroo, please? (ृ°͈꒳​°͈ ृ)ु

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <33 ❞

✎ . . . I like the way your hand fits in mine + kuroo???

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <33 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ kuroo tetsurou. <3

-ˏˋ ✉️ REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN.

⇣ please read the RULES before requesting.

✎ . . . PROMPT LIST YOU COULD REQUEST FROM. PROMPT LIST O1 | PROMPT LIST O2 | PROMPT LIST O3

[ ♡ ] to the anons that sent these request, everyone say THANK YOU to them for pulling me out of my writer's block. requests are open for some cash cash money brain juice requests✨🙈

KUROO TETSUROU.

➜ kuroo is a fucking tease.

➜ in the bedroom? yeah.

➜ outside the bedroom? yeah.

➜ of course his teasing aren't way too much that could actually hurt anyone.

➜ but mf is an absoloute tease.

➜ did i mention he's a tease?

➜ he didn't know what it was that made him want to tease you but perhaps it was the way you scrunch your nose at him with furrowed eyebrows and narrowed eyes that wow, damn you were kinda cute.

➜ tehee🙈💫😋

➜ and wow, did it drove him mad

➜ the way your cheeks would turn into a bashful mess whenever he flirts with you using his awful but kinda smart chemistry pick up lines he took from google.

➜ some are innocent.

“ Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe. ”

➜ some are . . 🤪🙈

“ If I was an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes. ”

➜ again, everyone say THANK YOU GOOGLE

➜ and even now when you're already dating him and he STILL manages to fluster you, mf took PRIDE ON THAT

➜ he'd say it was because of his looks and charisma all together but honestly?

➜ it's just because he looked so FUCKING CUTE WHILE SAYING THE PICKUP LINES. like WHAT? an aobsoloute DORK

➜ the way he excitedly and eagerly awaited your reaction like a wholesome puppy wagging it's tail for it's owner.

➜ now THAT, that could make anyone feel flustered ngl

➜ with his piercing amber eyes looking at you intently???

➜ phewww chileee😳🙈👉👈

➜ but i guess you were both right, his charisma does play apart in it too while being a huge ass dork that you wanna k*ss

➜ ngl remind me of peter parker

➜ and that man? was pheww😋😝

➜ he's a gentleman too, he'd always be the one in between the busy streets and the sidewalk.

➜ his reasoning??

“ i don't want you to be hit by a car or anything, pretty face. ”

➜ but HONESTLY? he just really cares a lot about you and doesn't want you to get hurt.

➜ lmao i want that

➜ he'd always have an arm hooked around you, and his reasoning would usually be :

“ i don't want anyone to think they have a chance with you. ”

➜ or

“ i want everyone to know that you're mine. ”

➜ but YOU KNOW WHAT??

➜ he just wants to be close to you and he doesn't want you to get lost at busy places

➜ i am in love with this man😭

➜ brb changing my theme to kuroo🙈

➜ cafe dates were a must with you two

➜ usually for just hanging around or study dates

➜ he always liked studying

➜ but maybe he liked it because he was doing it with you?

➜ that's a secret i'll never tell xoxo, gossip girl💋

➜ and in places like these, he'd just like to get you all flustered

➜ by giving you a kiss on the back of your hand whenever you get all the questions right in this one section

➜ maybe just simply writing heart doodles in the corner of the bool's page of your names together, knowing that your teacher might see it

➜ but he doesn't really care, he liked seeing you burrying your face to your hands because ONLY KUROO TETSUROU CAN DO THAT

➜ PERIOD BB💅😋

➜ or should i say periodic table? ok ok i'll leave now bye

➜ but his favourite? the google pick up lines😍😍

“ Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? 'Cause you are F-I-Ne. ” he grins at you, looking up from his phone as he read the words outloud just right after he asked google chemistry pick up lines

➜ bb you aren't original, and thats okay

“ oh my god, kuroo shut up ─ we're at a cafe for fuck's sake! ” you whisper shouted as you got closer to his face, leaning in, your nose scrunched up with your eyes narrowed at him. it looked like you were mad at him but when you see the pink tint at your cheeks? you were definitely probably, hopefully, not angry at him.

“ kitten, you should have told me you wanted my face this close to yours and i wouldn't object nor compl ─ ” you put his face away from yours, averting your eyes away from him while you try and hide your blushing face.

➜ but BEING THE SLY MF HE IS, he took this chance to grab onto your hand gently and intertwine it with his as a cheeky grin spread across his face in delight and satisfaction with your reaction and with the warmth of your hands molded with his.

➜ oh god he loves it ─ no, he loves you.

➜ but before you could slap it away, he made another comment.

“ aw, you're blushing like a rose. ” he teased, cooing at you as he fiddled with your hands.

“ h ─ how could i not? i like the way your hands fits mine. ”

➜ now it's kuroos turn to overheat

➜ because oh how the TURN TABLES.

➜ he didn't know of it was your bluntness, the red in your cheeks, or the comment you made.

➜ but he was flustered, flustered with himself and you with how you managed to caught HIM off-guard and wow, marry him already

➜ because you know what? under that teasing, sly, and confident layer of his, was a dorky ass mf that's just madly in love with you.

➜ his cheeks all flushed as he tried covering it with the back of his hand while the other was still holding onto yours as his gaze quickly averted away from you while he clears his throat.

➜ acting as if you didn't just almost made his heart LEAP OUT OF HIS CHEST.

➜ but you knew it, you knew that you made him feel all giddy inside, you knew that everytime you do these he secretly loves it ─ and you knew that only YOU can do that to him.

➜ and honestly?

➜ you too, were also a tease.

[cosmiclatte28]

#11 It’s a Small World (You x yuta x taeyong)

Eleventh day of Christmas

It’s a Small World (You x Yuta x Taeyong) 

warning : expect a plot twist okay? It’s quite interesting, hope this can be a real life story for someone 😂💖

I do not own the pictures, but I own the stories :) hope you enjoy this

You’re glad to spend the Christmas and New Year with your family in Japan and now it’s time to go back to work. Your company has given you an extra two days holiday since you’ve been doing great for them. Your family send you off to the airport that morning and you’ve checked in your luggage and have some hours to stroll around the airport before departing home.

The Kansai airport in Osaka was not the biggest, but you sure can still stroll around the stores and pick up last chance Japanese snacks from the mini kiosk and after purchasing your favorite chocolate bars, you walk to the waiting room.

Before sitting down, your phone vibrates and you check to see a new message coming in.

“Safe flight (y/n)! I’ll pick you up in Incheon. Don’t forget my souvenirs. XOXO TY” the message read and you slap your head for forgetting the most important souvenir.

Quickly you scroll the chat room and look for the list of things he asked.

“Ramen done, skin care done, snacks also done,” you mumble as you read through all of the things he listed. “And shit I forgot the book.”

The nearest bookstore is a ten minute walk, the directory said, and you still have an hour. Without a second thought you make your way to the bookstore. You won’t risk going back to Seoul without that book. You basically promised him you will get him one if you’re in Japan.

You pray that the book store has the complete comic series, or you’ll need to find something for an exchange.

“Here I go,” you huff when you stand outside of the small store.

You directly go to the comic area and run your eyes through the Japanese characters, mumbling their titles as your heart beats faster and faster whenever you read another title.

“Here it is! Howl’s Moving Castle!” your happy squeal almost make you get kicked out from the store, as you extend your hand to take the last complete comic book you brush someone else’s hand.

“I grabbed it first,” was all that taller man said when he saw you opening your mouth.

You are speechless and you still keep your hand on the book “Excuse me,” you finally can speak up to him.

His Japanese is fluent, so he must be someone from here. You cannot recognize his face because of his shades and his long hair.

“What? I touched the book first, your hand comes after it. So this belongs to me.” The man said in his deep calm voice.

You shake your head “Can’t you just buy something else? I want to give this to someone.”

He shakes his head “Too bad, I also need this as a gift.”

You tighten your grip and try to pull the book “No, look you don’t understand. I might die if I did not get this.”

He smirks “Oh yeah? Someone’s a diehard Miyazaki fan. Cliché” he shrugs his shoulder.

In a glance he looks like Howl, considering the loose white tee he wore, the tight pants, the long blonde hair, you just wish you can see his eyes.

Maybe he is one of those guys who do cosplay and he always dresses up as Howl so he looks like this in daily basis. Your mind must have been crazy.

A cough interrupts the cold staring contest you two held. Without letting go off the 4 comic book set, the two of you shoot your heads to the sound.

“I am sure you do not want to make a chaos here. Please put down the book, you haven’t bought that yet.” The store owner points his finger to the book you and this man hold.

Flustered the two of you just mutter a polite “Sorry,” but without letting go off the book.

“I need this like seriously, please help me out this one time.” You plead but the tall man shakes his head, okay in your mind he is an asshole now.

“I also need this, four of them to be precise.” He sighs.

You roll your eyes “But I also need four of them. Since we both need to at least bring this book, let’s share it.” You hate this, you don’t like backing down but considering your time limit and your urgent need to bring this book home, maybe bringing back 2 is better than none.

The shop owner seems to agree with you, he offers you two to share and just look for the rest series later. He apologized for not having extra copies, because the book is a best seller.

The tall man finally gives up when his phone vibrates and his alarm rings.

“Fine. You’ll take two I take two. You take the even numbers, I take the odds.” He pays the book and after thanking the shop owner he walks to you. You give him the money and walk away, only to notice he is also walking the same way.

“What’s your name?” he asks suddenly when the two of you are walking back to the gates.

“(Y/n), you?” you feel sort of cranky with him, why can’t he be a gentleman and just let you have the book.

He hasn’t introduced you his name for there is a call for the passengers leaving for Seoul.

“Whoops, that is my plane. Nice to meet you (y/n),” he waves and disappears like that.

You shake your head and mutter a curse, when you realize you’re having the same flight with him.

Slowly you queue behind the long lines and after handing the ticket, you board to the plane.

Well you tried to forget the unfavourable encounter and just explain everything to Taeyong, while wishing he didn’t hate you.

“Seat 27 H” you smile and put up your things on the cabin above your head.

You notice someone is not sitting beside you, but since you’re in the window seat you nicely make your way into the chair. You buckle your seat belt, leave a message to tell your parents you’re on board already and send Taeyong a message too that you’re on schedule. You lean back while looking out of the window, taking in one last view of the Osaka vibes.

“Good bye home,” you whisper

“I guess that window seat is mine,” a finger taps your shoulder.

“What?” you turn around to face the same man from the bookstore, “You again?!”

“Oh we meet again,” he pretends to sound surprised in his same deep voice you’re trying to forget.

He smirks and takes off his shades, “Nakamoto Yuta.” He offers a hand and to be polite you take his hand, but something didn’t feel right.

“It is my seat,” you scrunch your eyebrow.

He grins, “Well yeah by the ticket it was yours, but I always like to take the window seat. Besides I put something there already,” he shows you the book he bought is inside the pocket infront of you.

You roll your eyes, “That doesn’t mean this is yours. I paid to get the window seat.” You lied.

He acts surprised, ”Really? You’re lying. Now I usually ask them kindly to switch place with me-“

He cannot finish his sentence because you cut him “No. Sit on the aisle or find another chair Yuta.”

He smirks and shrugs his shoulder, “I thought people always fall for my smile, but not you. Fine, you won this time.” He simply sit down on the other seat and buckles his belt.

“Sorry for the bookstore incident, I hope we can still enjoy our flight back to Korea.” He said softly to you in Korean. Your eyes widen, oh he is a fluent Korean speaker.

You just nod and when you feel like there is nothing else to talk about right now, you put on the headphones and play yourself some music.

Something tickles your brain, something about Nakamoto Yuta, his name somehow feels familiar in your ear. You take off your headphone to listen to the safety procedure and that’s when Yuta speaks up again in Korean.

“Look at us,” he suddenly whispers, “We fought over the last book, fought over a window seat, both speak Korean… we have some things in common. Aren’t we basically a couple already?”

You punch his shoulder “Are you in your right mind?”

He looks at you annoyed “Didn’t you know I was flirting?”

You blush and scoff “Not that fast sir-“

He smirks “Oh Sir? You’re into that huh? Sounds interesting.” His gaze examines your face.

The way your eyes look into him with curiosity but defence, the way you hide your cheeks from blushing but your ears give away too much, and the way you bite your lips.

He winks, “Alright, I am not teasing my little lamb anymore. You might cry if I go too far. Just know that whoever dates you must be very lucky to win someone like you.”

Your heart fell for that, “Actually I am single,” you blurt that out and curse yourself when you see his gaze changes to a challenging one.

“Woah, were you hinting me?”

You shake your head “Sorry I just didn’t know I’d say that outloud.”

“People tend to tell the truth when they’re nervous. So tell me little lamb, are you nervous because I am too stunning or you’re afraid I might harm you.”

You close your eyes, it’s not the fear of him killing you in your sleep or robbing you. No, it’s pure nervousness.

“I am sorry, I need my time alone.” You give him a forced small smile so he doesn’t feel bad and you return to listening your music.

The rest of the flight, Yuta did not bother you anymore. He watched movies, played some game in his phone and even read some books.

You just interact with him when he helps you take out the things on the overhead cabin and while you wait for the luggage. He helps you with your luggage and you’re grateful for it, at least he is not a total asshole. He is actually sweet and caring, maybe he is a tsundere.

“Alright, I guess this is it. We part ways and maybe never see each other again.” Yuta pushes his trolley and you also did the same thing beside him.

You nervously chuckle, something in your hear wishes you’ll bump him once again. “Yeah, this is it. Thank you for helping me and the books.”

He laughs, “As much as I want to give you the remaining half, I promised someone this.”

You nod your head, “I understand, same thing goes to me.”

He taps his finger on the handle, “Think we might see each other again one day?”

You look to the distant, “Maybe? Hope it’s better than our first encounter.”

Yuta nods, “Yeah I wish that never happen again. So, this is it. Is someone picking you up?”

You take your phone out to see the message from the man picking you up, “Yes, my cousin is here. What about you? Taxi?”

“No, someone came to pick me up too.”

Your phone rings and both Yuta and you toss each other a glance. “Go, your cousin is here maybe.” He shoos you politely and you laugh at his action “See you when I see you! Bye Yuta!” you wave and walk with your trolley away while listening to your brother’s direction.

Yuta also picks up a call not longer after it, “Oh the mini market? Yeah I saw it. I’m walking there.”

You meet your cousin already and hug him tight “Taeyong!!! Glad you’re not late. Let’s go!” you try to bring him home first and show the other souvenirs first before finally telling him about the comic.

He ruffles your hair “I know you’re excited to go back to Seoul, but I am also here to pick up my friend. He’s also from Japan and I promised to pick him up too. He’s on his way.”

Your mind feels fuzzy but you try to ignore it, maybe you’re just nervous about telling the story. That was until you hear your cousin’s voice calling out a name you learnt today.

“Yuta!!”

“Taeyong-ah!!”

You peer over Taeyong’s shoulder and gasp when you see the same man you’ve been with the whole day.

“Yuta, this is the cousin I used to talk about, and (y/n) meet Yuta, my boyfriend.” Taeyong proudly introduces the two of you without knowing anything.

Yuta plays along and shakes your hand “The girl from the bookstore? (y/n) right?”

You smirk and play along too “Mister window seat! Yuta, true?”

Taeyong looks at the two of you with a big question mark on his face.

You stifle a laugh when Yuta nicely grabs his boyfriend’s hand and pushes his trolley to get to the car.

“We owe you a story, come let’s eat lunch and we will tell you everything!” you giggle as you push your belongings too.

Taeyong nods his head “Fine, looks like you two are hiding something. Hope it’s nothing bad.”

After loading your stuff and Yuta’s stuff, the three of you stop over a restaurant for lunch.

Once the lunch is over, you and Yuta both pull out a paper bag.

“For you, open it up and we will tell you the story.” You hand him the same bag Yuta handed over.

Taeyong curiously open the bag and screams when he sees the book, he wanted is complete here in front of his face.

“Oh the two of you did not forget! Why did you just get me two each?” he notices that soon when he arranges the comic books on the table.

“Who wanna tell?” you glance to Yuta.

He rolls his eyes, “You go first, then me.”

With that Taeyong laughs at the story both of you re-enact. He has the greatest laugh this year when he sees how you and Yuta re-do the scene while muttering the same Japanese words he did not understand.

“So, in the end both of you got me the complete set. Congratulations! None of you will die.” Taeyong ends the story with a nice wrap and the three of you can’t believe how small the world is.

See you tomorrow, on the last day!

Thank you so much!!! ily!!

Christmas masterlist

[anythingandeverything1d]

Back for you

Your pov:

You heard the sheets ruffle, the bed shifting as his weight was removed. You heard him unplug his phone, brush his teeth, flush the toilet, and wash his hands. A tear slipped down your cheek and into the pillow. You knew what was next. You heard him sigh and make his way over to your side of the bed, kneeling on the floor. You blinked through the tears, his green eyes focused on you with a frown. He pressed a kiss to your nose, tears falling from his eyes as well. “Bye babe, I love you.” he whispers. He kisses your lips softly and then stands up. You hear him grab his bags, the door open and then shut, and then you hear nothing but silence and the sound of you sniffling through tears.

---

Harry’s pov:

“Well hello beautiful people!” Harry yells into the mic. “How are you all doing?!” He walks around stage, his Gucci suit neatly pressed, his hair pushed back and a smile on his face. He looks out into the crowd, his attention captured by a two people in the front row. He watches a man with who he assumes is his girlfriend. His arms are around her waist. She of course is screaming and focused on Harry, but he focused on her, her smile, her laugh, and how how happy she is. Harry turns around, looking at the band and taking a minute. It feels as if he’s been shot, his chest hurts, and his heart is beating harder than it ever has, and the only thing he can think of is (y/n). He closes his eyes and pictures her, her face, her smell, her smile, and her laugh. He opens his eyes and shakes it off, nodding to the band. The music starts for Watermelon Sugar starts playing but when he turns around and looks out into the crowd of people he only sees her. (y/n). Her face is everywhere. He sees her smile in each and every girl in the crowd. Something about it pains him, but something about it also comforts him. 

“Tastes like strawberries, on a summer evening, and it sounds just like a song, I want more berries and that summer feeling, its so wonderful and warm” As he sings he thinks of her. Of the summer days they spent, laying out in the sun, her body on his, his lips on hers. He wants her more than anything. It’s been a month. A month since he woke her up to say goodbye, since he kissed her softly, wiped away her tears, and left her in bed. He FaceTimed her, called, and texted, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same as having her body tangled in his, his eyes locked on hers, and her laugh echoing through his ears. “Watermelon Sugar.” Harry finished the song and blinked. He had made it through the song without even a thought about anything but (y/n). He was losing his mind, he was going crazy. He had never felt like this before. Never had such a hard time leaving someone behind. 

He finished the concert and walked off stage in a little bit of a daze. “You okay?” Sarah asked Harry.

“Yeah...” he mumbled. He was tearing through his bag of things, looking for his phone. He searched the couch cushions, the bathroom, the snack table, and still came up empty. His heart was pounding, his body shaking, and his head spinning. He needed to call (y/n). He needed to hear her voice, to see what she was doing, how her day was going. “Has anyone seen my phone?” Harry asked, stress evident in his voice.

“Harry. Calm down.” Clare tried to soothe. “I’m sure it’s on the bus.”

“Yeah, relax Harry.” Mitch walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’ve been a little off today...everything okay?”

“I need my phone.” Harry snapped, his eyes rolling at their remarks. Clearly he was a little off. Clearly he wasn’t okay. He hadn’t gone a minute of the entire show not thinking of (y/n). He couldn’t get her face out of his head. He couldn’t shake the feeling that him being gone all the time was going to ruin what they had together. Harry took off running to the bus, relief flooding his body when he saw his phone laying in his bed. He quickly grabbed it, jumping onto the bed, still dressed in his Gucci suit, still dripping in sweat from his concert. He clicked her contact and then FaceTime button, his heart beating in synch with every ring. He saw connecting on the screen and nearly cried out of relief. Her face came into picture. She was cuddled in bed. In their bed. The light from her screen focused on her face, but everything else was dark. She smiled and it made Harry’s heart flutter. 

“H, what’s wrong? Aren’t you supposed to be doing a show?” Her voice was quiet, covered in sleep and a little bit of concern.

“Yeah. I just finished. But I wanted to call you. To tell you I’m coming back.”

“What?” she sat up a little bit, slightly waking up a little more.

“I’m coming back to you.” he said again, a smile playing on his lips.

Your pov:

Your mind was moving, well trying to move and process what he was saying. It was 4 am and you had been in a deep sleep. “What about tour?” 

“I’m going to fly home this weekend instead of just traveling with the band on the bus and then I’ll fly to where the concert is.” He smiled and a tear fell down his cheek.

You smiled, his face was full of excitement. Sweat glistened off his cheeks and his hair hung in damp sweaty curls. “You’re really coming home?” you were slightly confused and definitely sure you had heard him wrong. He wasn’t supposed to come home for another month or so once his European leg of the tour had ended. 

“I’m really coming home.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I’ve never really had this feeling before but I just can’t seem to get you out of my head. I looked out into the crowd tonight and all I saw was you. I don’t think I’ve ever been so into somebody before. I keep thinking about the way we touch and how that feeling is something I never want to lose. You are someone I never want to lose.” You smiled and watched him, making sure he wasn’t teasing you, but only excitement and love were evident on his face. “I know it’s been hard for you and  it’s been insanely hard for me. I don’t want tour to change us. I don’t want to lose you because every time we are together I have to say goodbye.”

“Harry-”

“You’re not going to walk away because I have to leave all the time right?” He pleaded, his eyes locking on yours through the screen. It made your heart nearly shatter knowing he was worried about something like that.

“I’m not going to leave you Harry.” you smiled, trying to capture his attention. “Ever.”

Harry ginned and nodded, happy to have the reassurance. “I have to go clean up and everything but I love you and will see you soon.”

“I love you too H.”

“Get some sleep.” His deep voice teased. 

“I’ll try.” He blew one last kiss before hanging up. Your mind was now fully awake and full of excitement. Harry was coming home. He would be here in a day or so. You would be able to hug him again, to kiss him and never let go.

The last month had been hard. From the moment he left, he had taken the happiness from the home you had built with him. Going to sleep wasn’t the same. His side of the bed was cold, empty, and no loner smelled of his cologne. His sink in the bathroom was dry, no toothpaste left over, and everything missing. His favorite snacks, the ones only he would eat had gone stale, and his chocolate milk in the fridge had spoiled. You no longer had to ask him to pick up his dirty underwear from the floor, or lower the toilet seat when he was finished. His shoes were not scattered about in your closet and his side of the bed was always freshly made. There were no more dad jokes to come home to, or full on belly laughs to enjoy during a funny movie. You constantly were over cooking, always forgetting it was just you eating dinner and the dishes always sat in the sink a little longer, no one to help you clean them or splash soapy water onto your face. The house felt too empty, too quiet and too cold without him here.

You rolled over in bed, trying to fall back to sleep as your excitement evened out. You closed your eyes, dreaming of Harry. His smile, his laugh, and how it would feel too finally be back in his arms again. 

---

You heard the door open and close and then you heard him drop his bags to the floor. You heard him walk over to your side of the bed, kneeling in front of you. You blinked through the tears already falling down your cheek, and focused on his green eyes. He pressed a kiss to your nose and smiled, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Hello love.” Your arms reached around him, pulling him in close. He stood up, following your body into bed. His weight in the bed shifted your position on the mattress. He pressed kisses to your lips and laughed, a rumble echoing through his chest. 

“I missed you.” the only words you could manage to get out. The only words that really mattered at the moment. You took a deep breath, trying to regain your composure. The familiar scent of his Tom Ford cologne entering your nose and instantly calming your body. You reached up, tangling your fingers in his hair and kissing him softly.

“I’ve miss you too (y/n).” he tugged your body into his lap, your legs straddling his body and your noses touching. He took a deep breath, his green eyes never leaving yours.

“I thought you were never coming back..”

“I’ll always be coming back for you.” 

---

Just a short little blurb!

xoxo

[saelwen]

Meludir x Reader (Request)

Meludir x Reader

Request: @lespaceboi​

Summary: Tauriel, Legolas and Thranduil try to put the reader and Meludir together. (Sorry i’m bad with summarys)

Warnings: Fluff

Words:1k

Releasing the string, the arrow flew straight to bullseye. Smiling to myself, I look to the elf beside me “Another perfect shoot! Let’s see if you do better, Meludir.” I said with a smirk, he sighs and shake his head “Ohhh! You’re on it!” he took a deep breath and shot his arrow, hitting next to the center of the target. Cheers sounded behind us, I turn around and saw my best friend, Tauriel, and Prince Legolas applauding to us, I look back to Meludir “Well, it looks that I won! You know what to do.” I said with a huge smile, he groans and nod. Me and Meludir had a bet if each one of us hit less the bullseye, lose. And the loser had to go to the middle of the training ground and yell that who win was the best at shooting.  

Meludir walk to the middle of the training ground, took a deep breath a while looking around him, seeing other warriors' elves training. Oh, this is going to be good! Lifting his head high “Y/N IS THE BEST SHOTER IN ALL MIRKWOOD! AND I NEVER WILL BE LIKE HER!” when he finished, me, Tauriel and Legolas were on the floor, laughing our ass out “I..I..I can’t believe he d..did that!” I said with tears running down from all the laughing. Meludir walk to us, with a red cheeks and a frown on his beautiful eyes “Guys! Stop laughing!...Oh Eru, this was the most embarrassing thing I did all my life.” he mumble under his breath, pouting like a child. Legolas walk to him, putting his hand on Meludir shoulder “Ohh, come on! It wasn’t that bad.” he said, cleaning his tears “Not for you!...Well. I need to go prepare for my night shift. Don’t think that we stay like this. Y/n! Tomorrow I want a rematch!” he said a while he starts walking to the exit “It’s okay for me, Meludir. If you want to lose again...” a smirk grew on his and my lips. I stay staring to him as he walks out of the training ground, smiling like a dork “Well, you're really down for him.” Tauriel said with a playful voice, I move my gaze from Meludir to her with a cofused look “What do you mean?” her smirk grew wider “Oh, come on Y/n! I know that you like Meludir. Everyone can see it.” I shake my head and pick my bow and arrows, tidying them up “Don’t be silly, Tauriel.” Legolas starts laughing “Y/n...even the King noticed how you two are always together and looking at each other with a love eyes.” I smile and shake my head “I have to do my guard duties. Good bye Mellons nin.” I bow to Legolas and walk out of the training area.  

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the days pass, I notice something strange. When I was on the training area, Tauriel always put me and Meludir sparring together. On the hunting times, Legolas separate the hunting group and send Meludir and me to see if is any threat. And now King Thranduil order me and Meludir to take patrol oh his halls together. They are planning something.

Walking down the hall with Meludir beside me “Hey, Mel! Did you notice how Tauriel, Legolas and King Thranduil have put us together all month?” he looks to me and nod furiously “Yes! What they want to do?” I think for a minute. Ohhh....a smirk grew on my face “I know what they want!” I lean to him and whisper into his ear my plan.

(Meludir P.O.V)

Sitting on the ground on the training area. I have finished my train with Prince Legolas and now we were sitting by a tree, sharing funny stories “Hey Legolas, can I ask you something?” he nods “Of course mellon nin.” I took a deep breath “Does Tauriel have someone? I wish to ask her to court...” Legolas eyes almost jump from his face “Ahh...Well...Ahh I don’t know...”. Suddenly Y/n and Tauriel walk to us “Hey guys!” Y/n said happily, Legolas shot up from his seat “Ahh Tauriel can I talk to you alone?”  he ask quickly but I grab Tauriel hand “Tauriel! I wish to say something that I can’t save to me anymore.....Since the first time I saw you, my heart begin beat faster. You are the most beautiful, kind and amazing woman I ever meet!....I want to ask you if I can court with you?” when I finished a huge silence stay between us, Tauriel eyes were wide and her mouth was hanging open, Legolas was looking down and shaking his head “Ahhh...Wow Meludir...I don’t know what to say...” she said a while looking to Y/n with a worry look.

(Y/n P.O.V)

We stay there for a while, looking at each other. Legolas was with a look that he would faint at any minute, Tauriel stand there, with a worried look, trying to think how she could say to Meludir that she doesn’t like him.

Suddenly I let a huge laugh, no longer could continue this joke. Legolas and Tauriel look at me with a confused and worried look “Y/n?...What so funny?” she ask me, tears were running down my cheeks. Meludir also was laughing his ass out, I went to him and grab his face and pull him down, giving a passionate kiss. Tauriel and Legolas stand there with they mouth hanging open.

Me and Meludir break apart and look to them, with a huge smirk on our face “I must say that this was the best prank that I have pull! You guys should see your faces!” me and Mel start laughing again “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?? You guys were together all this time??!!” Tauriel scream to us, we nod and Mel hug me softly “We are together almost 5 months.” he said softly. Legolas sighs and rub his hand on his face “Ok! I’m out!...I’m finishes with those idiots!” he walks towards the Palace, a while murmuring something to him.  

Tauriel looks to me “Why didn’t you told me?? I’m your best friend! God...all the work that me, Legolas and King Thranduil had!” i smile at her frustration “We thought that you guys knew it. It was quite obvious...And yes, we knew about your little plan, that’s why we did this prank.” Tauriel huff and walk away “Oh Eru giving strength to put up with this idiots...” she murmured to herself.

Well that was a day to remember.

Hey Guys!! Here a new request. Hope you like it. Request are open! Feel free to comment and tell what you think.

XOXO

[yibuo]

Hey, I love your blog ❤️. Can I ask for Uniq full story? I've seen a bits of it online but it's such a mess I can't figure out what's truth. Have a nice day 😁

FUNNY how i received this ask when i was crying about wenhan’s baby angel voice in best friend just earlier

tldr if i ever meet du hua it’s on SIGHT

LOL okay idk if this is the FULL story i probably won’t include details and stuff because i didn’t closely follow uniq during their whole hiatus thing (i had the brainpower to stan one group at a time but now look at me TWO kpop groups AND i’m starting to follow a cpop group AND pd camp 2020 AND am constantly fuming at yibo and xiao zhan’s management agencies for ruining their idol groups )

pls correct me if i’m wrong im small brain ok i’m putting this in keep reading bc it’s too long and a ramble

tldr thanks yuehua for messing w/ 5 guys’ dreams.. even though they’re successful they’re not able to do what they originally wanted to

also there’s this legendary video dragging yuehua

also thank u for ur love sweetie i love u too xoxo i hope ur having a wonderful day/evening/night!

LOOL anyway so uniq is a korean-chinese boy group formed under yuehua ent which has korean and chinese management ... you probably know other kpop artists from yuehua like wjsn (co-managed by starship) or everglow... if you’re into cpop there’s next/next7...anyway they have 3 chinese members(yixuan, wenhan, and yibo) and 2 korean members (sungjoo and seungyoun) and they debuted in 2014 with falling in love, promoted btwn china and korea, released a couple of osts (for like, teenage mutant ninja turtles and madagascar lol lol lol) and then in 2015 they came back w/ eoeo (if you’re into kpop you probably know eoeo at least) it’s their most well-known song, and this comeback was w/ their first (and only lol lol) ep/mini album.

they started garnering a good amount of attention and started to appear on more variety shows in korea and china, started promoting in japan, they even went to brazil in a fanmeet that’s pretty cool lol , (but...why didn’t they solidify uniq’s position in kr/ch with their momentum instead of sending them to different countries??? we love money-minded yeehaw entertainment)

and then china’s hallyu ban happened (which is something that i never really understood and never took the time to fully research because it hurt my brain) but essentially chinese govt restricted k-entertainment from profitting in china because politics, for example a lot of kpop tours and fanmeets got cancelled. and this put uniq in a difficult position because they’re split between being based in china and korea, but eventually the ban got lessened (there’s still tension but like, there’s literally adore u playing in the camp of pd camp 2020 ep 2 so like lol) but yeehaw made NO efforts to maintain the group musically b/c they’re money-minded cows and if they split uniq up into a kr and a chinese unit they can’t make as much money as if they sent the members into acting.... (literally there’s an interview from a couple yrs back where xuan talks about how itd be nice to make music but it doesn’t make as much as acting does in china :-(( ) so while they still had events in japan, they didn’t do much together in their main bases, and acted a lot cool cool

one thing i never understood is why yuehua never just pushed them more in the kr market...there are so many groups in the k-industry w/ chinese members (i literally STAN one, my ULT is a chinese member in a kpop group what the HECK)...but making money right lol anyway so xuan, wenhan, and yibo went into acting in china (and yibo is an mc on day day up), and acting takes up sm time, (gonna quote my chinese friend here who’s a sad wjsn ot13 stan who misses cheng xiao, mmq, and wxy, once ur popular in china it’s goodbye kpop) and sungjoo went into acting in korea (if you’ve ever watched my secret terrius or the disaster that was liar and his lover w/ joy, sungjoo is in those lol) and seungyoun continued to produce and release music as woodz and luizy

but it’s sad because they all trained for so long to perform on the stage as 5 but yuehua’s shitty management in the hallyu ban crisis thing really screwed them over...in terms of being on the stage like come on! THEY HAVE TALENT.. ok in early 2018 they released an ep and in dec 2018 they released their single monster (last single together lol), but again, no group promotion, no being able to perform on the stage, no nothing (oh yeah also yibo was a dance mentor on produce 101 china in 2018 nice)

2019 was a good year for most of the members:

-wenhan went on qcyn (youth with you season 1, the second show in the idol producer franchise) and got 1st, debuting in unine which he’s currently a part of, and got to perform on the stage after years of not being able to, thanks yuehua

-yixuan went on all for one (another survival program from youku), also got 1st, and debuted in new storm

-yibo (as we all know) acted in the untamed and became ultra-popular for his well-roundedness

-seungyoun went on the 4th season/spinoff of produce 101 in kr called produce x 101 and got 5th place, debuting in x1, which later disbanded, THANKS MNET THAT’S ANOTHER STORY BUT anyway i don’t think seungyoun was rigged into place, does yuehua even care that much?? lmOA he was so loveable on px101 and i think the move perf rly sealed the deal for everyone

-sungjoo...was done dirty by yeehaw...he’s a MAIN VOCAL he has SOLo potential but yeehaw just put him in the dungeon thanks.. and he recently enlisted in the army not too long ago

oh also sungjoo, xuan, and yibo performed monster + eoeo together at yuehua’s 10 anniversary concert...seungyoun wasn’t there because of x1 and wenhan performed with unine

wow yeehaw really thought they deserved a 10th anniversaryy celebration LMFAO

***the members are still part of uniq though, survival shows are weird

anyway as we can see each member is talented in their own way and uniq is an unfortunate case of yuehua not knowing how to manage people lol but if you watch their shows you know that they’re genuine and tight-knit, and even though they might not be together rn, in their hearts they’re still a part of uniq (cue pics of their weibo usernames having uniq in them, cue wenhan spamming his dad’s video with “UNIQ IS STILL TOGETHER” when his dad talks about how uniq disbanded) and they haven’t forgotten their identity of being part of uniq even as they get older. their contracts expire in 2022 and w/ kim sungjoo in the army, who knows if they actually will make a comeback but this is why everyone hates yuehua and everyone misses uniq bye

again i know they’re successful individually, i know seungyoun’s able to produce his own music, yibo’s able to turn his hobbies into work, wenhan and yixuan are still able to perform on a stage, they came here for uniq and got separated w/o them ever wanting to

[nessiancalore]

Nessian one-shot (again bc,why not)

it supposed to be when things are "already okay" once everything that's going to happen in ACOTAR4 happens basing the fact that they would still not be together (yes, my mind went far lol)

hope you don't mind if there's any grammatical errors, English is not my first language.

let's go.

-----------

Nesta

Nesta hated waking up so early. But even if she didn't have to, Cassian did. And he was not quiet when he made those gross breakfasts of his. Thankfully she learned one thing or two about cooking because relying on him to eat would be impossible.

They've been living in this house, rhysand's mother house, for quite a while, and things were better now.After all she faced this past few months, she was now in recovery, and that included training. That she learned to like.

Her and Cassian became friends, of course they still had a few arguments but they decided to try no to for their own sake so...friends. But if there's one thing she could not put aside is the fact that she is attracted to him and that this irritates her.

In her particular morning training,that she asked him for it about a two months ago, when he appears shirtless, and once or twice when she caught him leaving the bathroom with nothing but a towel, the taught of taking that towel away was not easy to avoid.

It felt ridiculous consider that 'a problem' after all the actual problems she (and them) faced but now since things are "normal" — as they could be considering she's fae with powers in a illyrian camp, and when Feyre asked her to go back to Velaris she said no — she couldn't stop thinking about him.

He was the person that never stopped fighting for her sake, and he's good and a buzzard sometimes but he can be very sweet.

And Nesta hated to admit that to herself.

He hasn't stopped being....well... himself. With the "sweetheart" and the suggestions to "easy her tension" that he always did but... That was just him being him. She saw him doing to Morrigan too...But they had that kiss and that moment in her room, but gods that was so long ago.

All that made her very confuse.

Of course she saw him looking at her body too, he's not blind, and Nesta it is very beautiful but that's what most men, males, do...

So, now, there she was, going to training with the guy she...likes.

Because that's what it was, like a ridiculous teenager, Nesta had a crush.

Yes, to consider all the things he means to her and all they've been through, it's WAY more than that, but, let's go easy on the thinking about it so "I really really REALLY like him as a friend and have a... thing... for the other part" that was the best she could do so far is...lying to herself.

Cassian was teaching her a few blows which made both very sweat and a lot of contact between their bodies and before her mind suggested something stupid the female stepped away.

"Tired already sweetheart?"

"I'm not a fight machine, dumbass"

"Alright, let's take...three" he gave a cocky grin.

As she went to get water her shirt was so soaked, she was waiting a fight brasier and the illyrian females did it all the time so, Nesta took out her shirt, leaving her with the top and her illyrian fighting pants, mother they were comfortable.

-----------

Cassian

Was she trying to kill him?

Before, when she had lost that weight, Nesta was still beautiful, of course, but she was sick, and that make him look at her differently once he actually understood what was happening, but right now, she won muscles. She was healthy, almost shinning.

That beautiful body was even more beautiful, if that was possible.

And she just decides to take her shirt like that?!

It was only fare, he did it too..To see how sometimes she would give him a side look, that Nesta thought he wasn't noting, or walking around the house in his towel but still..

He has been keeping away after everything because they've became friends and ruining that would kill him. She's fine, she's healing and beside what he feels, she needs a friend and not a bastard bothering her.

Even though she said herself that he's important to her, she could have meant as friend.

So those shirtless things where just to irritate her, and see how it goals........

"Feeling hot in there Archeon?"

"... Let's just go back to training"

And they did, until she showed him a new move that Laurel, the female illyrian captain, taught her.

Basically trapping your opponent's waist between your legs and involve his neck with your arm, face down.

She did while he stopped to arrange his stripes so he was caught by surprise, and there he has.

In that position.

With a almost bare waist and very sweat Nesta.

-----------

Nesta

She was trying not to think about his body over hers.

The movement was really hard and she wanted to try, so the fae barely tought about the consequences.

"Nice move Archeon"

"So general, how does is feel to be — she tighted her legs around him — beating down by a Fae?"

"Oh If is a female I definitely don't mind"

He could see he wasn't trying to leave but was on alert, waiting for the moment.

So she did the one thing he was probably not expecting, let his head off, but not his waist.

And there he was, staring at her.

"I need you to teach me how to leave from this, Laurel never did"

"Do you really want to?", with a bedroom voice.

And he could be just kidding, if he having gave her that look.

"Why wouldn't I?", barely a whisper.

"I don't know.Why your legs still around me?"

"Why don't you free yourself?"

"You haven't answer my first question. Are these other ones just a distraction?"

"What you think?"

"Another question"

And just like back then, she knew exactly how to answer him.

But this time her hand went to the back of his neck and they've got so close they were sharing a breath.

"I don't want to"

And thank the mother he didn't either.

The kiss started slow, as if he was waiting for her to back away, definitely not what she thought he would do, and even if her heart melted with the gesture, this wasn't the time for cute so se open her mouth to him, to show him what she wanted.

-----------

Cassian

And thank the mother she wanted.

He passed his hands around her and brought her up to his lap, not even bothering where they were, who could come in.

This was Nesta and him only.

He kissed her so strong, once she let him, he thought she might step away, but there she was, spreading that beautiful neck of hers to the male.

He went slow again, for the memory, but once she made a sound, a low one, like it was meat only for him to hear, the male went strong and vicious.After a few minutes he learned a spot that made her moan louder and look at him.

And when those beautiful hands got to his shirt he taught Nesta was going to take it out but no, she shredded, and started to kiss his torso, his neck,his tattoo and it was his turn to make a sound.

-----------

Nesta

He tasted,right.

Everything about him, she wanted, she needed.

He started to kiss her breasts once she was done with his neck and her head went back. It didn't took much to him notice her look at the balcony on the wall behind them, he got up with her let's still around him, almost falling down, making they both laugh a little bit. But the laugh was over again once he learned her against that wall pulled into her mouth again, his tongue was circling hers and she felt his male part growing between her legs, and mother, she wanted.

Once she got to his belt, the fae gave him a look, a question, and he just grabbed her behind — it felt like his hands were meant to be there — and that was answer enough.

Nesta had undone the bottom but they still kept kissing, and he pulled her hair a little bit and she grrined while cursing.

Oh I'll show him how to provoke.

It was going hot, and great, she was about to pull it out from the balcony so that she could...play. But..

"Wait wait " When he pulled her face out, holding her by the neck, she still leaned, but his eyes were closed.

"Is... — gods she was breathless— something wrong?"

"No...shit" he, still eyes closed, placed his fourhead on hers "Rhys is— he gave a deep breath— here"

He called him by mind then.

"..Oh"

Cassian opened his eyes and instead of looking at her mouth of her body, he was looking at her eyes.

"What?"

"I have to go"

"Then..go"

"I don't want to"

"... Me neither" and maybe it was suprise she saw in him but she held his hands and lowered them down interlacing their fingers and kissed him slightly.

They stood like that for a few seconds and then...they laughed.

Maybe is was the almost... you know but... she could see he was blushing.

"So..."

"Yeah.." still laughing she placed her head in his shoulder for a few seconds as he leaned his head in hers.

"I should..."

"You should.." pulling back.

"I'm sorry to ruin your fun", he lifted one eyebrow to her and point down with his eyes.

Cocky son of bitch.

-----------

Cassian

She pulled herself out of the balcony and placed in front of him, wicked look in those beautiful eyes, and ripped out the rest of his shirt off of him.Went for the water and spread some in his hair.Went for his belt to closed again, eyes still in his as those hands slightly, and purposely, touched his warrior. And once he thought she was done the woman, THAT woman licked the water that felt in his lips.

"Now you're good" she whispered

Cassian was a second away from grabbing her and, devour wasn't a enough word for to it, when rhys called him again and he just gave her another kiss before leaving.

-----------

Nesta

And then she smiled.

I kinda like writing, even though I don't I'm actually good yet, but I'll get somewhere soon, hope you guys enjoy some nessian content

bye xoxo.

[twdeadlysins]

Cherokee Rose: Part One

Season two, episode four (1/2)

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x Reader

Word Count:  4,793

Warnings: Slow burn, mention of minor character death, the usual walking dead violence, language, blood, and such with possible typos

Author’s Note: I don’t own anything from The Walking Dead, so all credit goes to their respective owners. This is a twd series rewrite with the reader inserted into the mix. I did and will continue to use dialogue from the actual show because I want it to be similar to what you’ve already watched, but obviously have the reader in it.

Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve uploaded another part for this series. Writer’s block, lack of motivation, and just life has been factors in why I haven’t. I’m trying to get back into the groove of things! <3

I hope you like this part!!! I feel like you guys will, but then again I have my doubts lmao ... okay bye LUL xoxo

If you want to be (un)tagged for this series rewrite, don’t hesitate to send me an ask, message me, or leave a comment and I’ll add/remove you. The same goes for any other fics! I’m in no way, shape, or form a writer. Any feedback is appreciated, but hate is a different story. Thank you and enjoy!

The gifs I use aren’t mine, so all credit goes to their respective owners.

MASTERLIST // TWD SERIES REWRITE

When you woke up the next morning, Hershel had wrapped fresh bandages around your forearms after checking your wounds to see how they were healing. He gave you more antibiotics and told you they, along with your hip were healing well before you went to go help Shane, Glenn, T-Dog, Maggie, and Beth with collecting rocks for Otis’ memorial. As you were placing the stones into the wheelbarrow, you heard a familiar motorcycle engine in the distance, making you and the others pause and look. You smiled seeing the motorcycle, the RV and another car approach the farm, your group was finally together again. 

T-Dog had gotten Rick and the others while the rest of you outside walked near the porch to meet up with everyone. You limped your way over, but ended up tripping along the way. Glenn had caught you and slung your arm around his neck while you cussed under your breath. You couldn’t believe you lost your footing, your hip felt kind of better, but it still was a pain in the ass to walk. “Thanks,” you mumbled, earning a nod in return. Daryl swung his leg off his bike, kicking the stand in place as Dale, Carol and Andrea walked up. “How is he?’ Dale asked with concern. 

“He’ll pull through, thanks to Hershel and his people,” Lori replied with an appreciative smile. “And Shane,” Rick added, causing you to peer over at him. “We’d have lost Carl if not for him.” 

“And Otis.” All eyes landed on you as you wandered yours right back at them, feeling Glenn squeeze your waist to comfort you. Otis is dead, but he still saved Carl… he brought you all here in the first place… if he didn’t do that, then Rick and Lori would’ve lost their child. You didn’t want anyone to forget that… that he sacrificed himself to save a life- Carl’s life… unless someone else made that choice for him, either way he died for someone you loved. Dale hugged Rick as Carol did the same to Lori, expressing how worried they were before Dale questioned how it happened it in the first place. 

“Hunting accident. That’s all, just a stupid accident.” Rick glanced over at you and Shane as he said it since you two were with him when it happened. Carol came up to you, causing Glenn to release his hold on you so you could hug her back. You were a little tense given the fact you that she despised you… at least to you it seemed she did for losing her child, so her even acknowledging you was weird. “How are you doin?” You sighed with a slight smile as she rubbed your arm, moving some hair out of your face. “I’ve been better.” Before she could reply, you saw Andrea approach from behind Carol, making her turn around to see what you were looking at. She peeked over at you with a closed-lip smile before stepping aside to go talk to T-Dog. It seemed that Carol was going to apologize since her eyes suddenly glossed over with regret, but you could be wrong… regardless that conversation was going to have to be at a later date. 

Andrea stuffed her hands in her pockets, glancing at the ground before finally making eye contact with you. “Look… I’m sorry about what I said-”

“Good, you should be,” you retorted before she could finish apologizing, making her face contort with a mixture of guilt and shock. “Because believe it or not we care about you, Andrea. I get wanting to go out your way, but next time… if there is a next time that you think about doing it again… think about the effect it would have on all of us.” You understood why she blamed you and Dale for ‘saving’ her back at the C.D.C, but that didn’t mean she was right by doing that. Neither one of you forced her hand like she said, you gave her a choice and if she would have still fought you on it, then you would’ve left her. 

The blonde solemnly nodded her head and walked away once it was clear that you weren’t going to continue the conversation. You felt rude for dismissing her like that, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t still bothered by what she said back at the highway. From the moment you met her and she pulled her gun on you, you weren’t very fond of her and you still weren’t, but you still cared about her. You cared for everyone in the group, hell you even cared for the Greene family and you haven’t even been on their farm for that long, only a couple days.

Your orbs connected to the archer’s for a split second before he tore them away to follow Rick and the rest of them to the memorial service. You couldn’t tell what flooded his eyes, but you had mixed emotions about him staring at you. 

On one hand you felt shy and flustered because his attention could be captured by a million other things, but it was solely on you… then again that could be because he’s pissed at you… then you were ticked off. He infuriated you after the C.D.C, when he shouted at you for risking your life… like you were careless. Yes, going into a building that was going to blow up in mere minutes was a huge risk, but you knew what you were doing. Daryl then had the nerve to shout at you for chasing after Sophia especially when you had a concussion, but you could care less. Sophia was in danger and you weren’t about to stay put because of your injuries… her life mattered more than you being banged up. 

Everyone gathered around a pile of rocks that were bigger than your hand and each stacked one on top for Otis as Hershel gave a speech. Otis gave his life to save Carl’s and it didn’t matter to you that he had accidentally caused the whole mess in the first place. He was a hero and no one was going to take that away from him on your watch. 

While Hershel spoke, you carefully watched Shane’s behavior, you were still skeptical of the story he told about that night… it just didn’t sit right with you. His head was shaved off and your gut told you it was because of the tiny, but noticeable bald spot he had on his head… he was definitely leaving something out- hiding something. He was staring off into space, zoned out in his own little world, not paying attention in the slightest like he was reliving a memory. His mouth was agape and his brows were slightly creased, but you stopped studying him when Hershel asked him if he would speak for Otis. 

“I’m not good at it. I’m sorry,” he muttered, looking between the doctor and the ground with a sigh. 

“You were the last one with him. You shared his final moments, please, I need to hear. I need to know his death had meaning.” You bit your lip as you fumbled with your belt buckle, staring at the ground while a grieving Patrica pleaded to Shane. 

According to Shane, they were down to their pistols with very little ammo. He was already limping and it was pretty bad with his ankle all swollen up. Otis had said, “We’ve got to save the boy” before handing his backpack to Shane and shoving him ahead. Otis instructed him to run, that he’d take the rear and cover him, but when Shane looked back- he trailed off, not finishing the story and limped to place a rock on top of the stack.

The ending was obvious and you scanned your eyes over everyone, gauging their reactions and Dale didn’t seem convinced and it was evident when the two of you looked at each other. You’d have to talk to him about his thoughts and you still didn’t forget what you interrupted in the woods between the two of them. Daryl didn’t seem to believe it either, so maybe you could try and talk to him about that too. 

“If not for Otis, I’d have never made it out alive and that goes for Carl too. It was Otis… he saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his.” Patricia nodded her head, assured that her husband’s death was not in vain, but to you… he was trying too hard. Okay, that sounded like it didn’t make sense, maybe it didn’t, but to you it did. Shane, at least to you, was praising his death, glorifying even, like he was convincing not only everyone else, but himself that it was okay… that it wasn’t his fault. 

“If not for Otis… He saved us both… if any death ever had meaning it was his” 

Were you making all this shit up? Reading too much into things? Patricia did ask for Shane to assure her that Otis’ death had meaning, but something was up… right? You sure as hell didn’t know and you were afraid to find out if something other than what Shane said did happen. If Shane did get Otis killed, would that be so bad? In the end, it was to save Carl and if you were in his shoes… you would’ve done the same thing or hell, even taken yourself out. But to be fair, you had a more pressing matter to ahead to now that Carl was okay… finding Sophia. 

You and Rick had informed Hershel on the situation and told him today would be three days since she had gone missing. Three days. She’s been scared and alone for three days. Before you could start thinking deprecated thoughts, Maggie unraveled a county survey map on top of the hood of a car with Rick, Shane, Daryl, Hershel, Andrea and yourself surrounding it. The map was a blessing, it showed terrains and elevations, finally giving you guys a visual and be organized to set up grid searches. 

Hershel spoke up and told Rick that he wouldn’t be doing any of that today since he gave three units of blood. He wouldn’t last five minutes in this heat before passing out. The doctor then went on to Shane about his ankle, if he pushed it now, he’d be laid in bed for a month. 

“Guess it’s just me.” Daryl leaned forward to look at the map, but you hurriedly slammed your hand on the hood, blocking the paper from getting moved or studied. The hunter glared at you with questioning brows, wondering what the hell you were doing. 

“Nuh uh. I’m going with.”

“Like hell ya’re woman,” he huffed. “Ya still got a minor concussion, a busted hip and n’ infection in ya arms. Even saw ya trip earlier!” You rolled your eyes before snapping your head to Hershel when he agreed with him. You were in no condition to go out, you were worse than Shane and he had a fucked up ankle, so what made you think you could go out? 

You sighed and threw your ups arms dramatically. “I don’ know, I’m stubborn okay?” Everyone chuckled, saying that was a given which made you squint your eyes at them with crossed arms, grumbling while Daryl proceeded to look at the map. He was going to head back to the creek and work his way from there whereas Shane offered the idea for himself to drive up to the interstate to see if Sophia made her way back. So then it was set, tomorrow you’d all officially start searching for her together and you didn’t care what anybody said… you were going to too.

Shane had brought up a good point, everyone couldn’t walk around carrying knives out there, so you guys would have to train them to use guns. It was a great idea, you thought everyone should know how to operate a gun especially with surviving in this world. The people who were experienced with weaponry can’t be there to save the day for people who didn’t. If you wanted to survive this epidemic, then guns were your best friend. 

“Even though I could help out with the gun training, I think knowing basic knowledge in combat is essential too. So while you and Rick do gun training, I could do hand to hand combat along with some knife training if anyone’s interested?” 

Rick and Shane exchanged glances at each other which made you roll your eyes. “Yes, I know hip, concussion, cuts- whatever! I’ll take it easy, damn.” The two of them smiled and nodded their heads, saying it was a good idea, but Hershel brought up how he didn’t want anyone carrying guns on his property, stating that him and his family were doing just fine without turning into an armed camp. Before you could voice your opinion that disagreed with his request, Shane beat you to it. 

“All due respect, you get a crowd of those things wandering in here…“

“Look, we’re guests here,” Rick interrupted and you knew he was all for carrying guns, but he was trying to be respectful… like he said you all were guests. “This is your property and we will respect that.” Your best friend peered between you, Shane, and at Andrea since you all knew how much she wanted her gun since you have known her. Rick then withdrew his gun and placed it on the hood of the car to show Hershel and everyone else that he was serious and that you all would respect his wishes. 

Shane pressed his lips together and looked away as he set his pistol down as well, not wanting to obey almost as much as you did. You had your arms crossed, leaning on the hood of the car, staring at the guns, not wanting to give yours up. A clear of a throat made you peer your eyes up, not moving anything else in your body as you saw Rick direct his eyes to your gun and to the hood, waiting for you to comply. Everyone else was standing by for you, so you grunted and unholstered your P99 that was at your hip, slamming it on the car. 

“Y/N…” Your best friend prompted, causing you to toss your eyes to the back of your head, loudly exhaling through your nose as you took out the other one that was at your other hip. “Thank y…” Rick trailed off once you reached behind your waistband and set down another handgun. He nodded his head. “Okay-” Rick’s eyes widened as you winced, kneeling down to unhook not one, but two Glock 42 pistols from your ankles, placing it with the others. “... Is that it?” He cautiously inquired. 

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed with frustration picking up your hunting rifle that was leaning on the car beside you, sliding it to the collection. “Ya want my machete?! And my knives too?! ‘Cause if that’s the case we’ll be here all night!” Rick shook his head, thanking you to try and calm you down. You felt naked without your guns, you felt unbalanced… all the weight that you were used to was gone and you hated it. Yes, having that amount of guns might be a little excessive, but you never know. 

“I didn’t even know you had that many,” Andrea spoke with bewilderment as she gawked at the display of the various weapons.

“Weren’t supposed to… that’s the point,” you mumbled, slightly whining with crossed arms. Yeah, you still had your machete and knives, but knives don’t win a gunfight… or a humongous herd of walkers wanting to eat your face off. 

Rick continued to set up a plan, first things first: set camp, find Sophia. “I hate to be the one to ask, but somebody’s got to. What happens if we find her and she's a bit? I think we should all be clear on how we handle that,” Shane brought up, causing you to stop bouncing your leg at the thought of that outcome. Rick clenched his jaw before saying that Shane can do what has to be done, hating the idea of it as well. 

“And her mother? What do we you tell her?” Maggie genuinely asked, earning Andrea to respond that we’d tell her the truth. It’d be difficult, but Carol deserved to have some closure and to know what happened to her daughter… you just hoped it was a good outcome- that someone would find her alive. 

Shane picked up his weapon announcing that he would gather and secure all the others, making sure no one’s carrying until you were all at a practice range off site. He then put in a request of at least one rifleman on lookout which made your ears perk up and hurriedly look at Shane who was already looking at you as if to volunteer you, but then he brought up Dale having experience. Your shoulders slouched and you gave him a hardened look, letting him know you were pissed. 

Hershel didn’t seem to like that either as he thought about it, so Rick put in the extra effort to convince him that your people would feel a lot safer and less inclined to a carry gun. You scoffed in your head not feeling that way, but whatever to get the old man to agree right? Well Rick could mean that, that everyone would feel safe and not feel the need to carry, but not you and he gave you a look telling you he knew. Hershel ultimately nodded his head which was a relief, but damn you wanted at least one of your guns on you. 

You stood there while everyone departed except for Rick, Hershel, Maggie, and Andrea. The doctor’s daughter asked if you guys had anymore bandages, antibiotics or anything of that nature, but unfortunately what she saw was all you guys had. Maggie then mentioned going on a pharmacy run into town since they were running low, she’s done it before, so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. 

Rick turned around to show Hershel and her daughter Glenn, who was helping Lori set up a tent. The cop had described him as the ‘go-to-town expert’ and for her to ask him to tag along, just to be cautious. Her father gestured his head to go over there, giving her permission to go before you went to rest on the steps of the house. 

You winced as you settled down, stretching your legs out before remembering you wouldn’t need your ankle holsters anymore. While you leaned down to remove them, you saw someone approach you in your peripheral. They sat beside you and took their hat off before asking what you were doing. “Well, Rick, these aren’t much of use to me anymore considering I don’t have a single weapon,” you replied with a bit of an attitude which you instantly regretted. You closed your eyes and exhaled before finally looking at your best friend as you piled the holsters in your lap. “Sorry, I don’t fully support the no weapon rule, but I do respect it and I’m not mad at you for following it. It’s just… I don’t know. I’m so used to carrying and I feel unprotected without them,” you confessed, fiddling with the holsters. 

Rick sighed and rubbed your shoulder to comfort you, showing you he understood by the gesture. “We got Dale.”

“Yeah, I know, but I’m used to protecting myself and others… not others protecting me.”

“Well, maybe ya should let them, Y/N.” Rick scooted closer, your sides squished together as he continued to soothe circles on your other shoulder. You rested your head on his shoulder, seeing a confused Glenn watch Maggie walk away. He must’ve learned about the horses and the thought of him riding one made your mouth quirk up, then an idea struck you.

“Daryl!” The outburst made you slightly jolt up which made Rick hurriedly apologize, but you dismissed it with a wave of your hand saying you had to do something anyways. As you went to push yourself up, the cop grabbed a hold of your hand to aid you while the hunter waited to hear what Rick had stopped him for. You said your thanks, catching Daryl’s eye, feeling a tad bit awkward before trudging off to your destination. 

You knew it’d be better for your hip to rest and not do anything, but that sounded more torturous than just dealing with it and walking. The walk over to the stables made you think about Daryl, how things were still tense between the two of you… you hated it. The two of you were stubborn, so there was no telling when this little feud would end. You could try and put your hardheadedness aside and talk to him, but the last time you did he ignored you. So why would this time be any different? 

“Maggie?” The brunette poked her head out and smiled in the middle of saddling a horse. You swallowed nervously, stuffing your hands in your back pockets as you got closer to where she was. 

“What can I do for ya?” 

“I- uh… I thought since- could you?-” What you wanted to ask wouldn’t come out as you stumbled over your words, mentally cursing yourself for being nervous and you didn’t know why. It wasn’t like it was a bad thing to ask, it was normal, so why were you stuttering so much? 

Maggie stopped what she was doing and worriedly came up to you, touching your arms in concern. “Everything alright, Y/N?” You nodded your head quickly, forcing yourself to swallow before yanking your hands out of your jeans to rub your face. 

“Yeah, I- uh- since you and Glenn are running to the pharmacy… I wanted to… I wanted to ask a favor,” you sheepishly asked, taking a piece of paper out of your front pocket. 

Maggie nodded. “Yeah, anything you need, Y/N. Is that it?” She questioned, pointing to the small note within your grasp. Your head slightly motioned a ‘yes’, handing her the list to which she opened, reading the contents. 

“I was diagnosed years ago, so don’t worry…” Maggie gave you a sympathetic smile before assuring you that’d she get you what was on the list. “Thanks, Maggie, I appreciate it.” 

“Okay, I know you shouldn’t with your injury n’ all, but it’s better than limping back. Would you want to ride the horse back with me?” Maggie inquired with a smile after you were done helping her get both of the horses ready, causing you to grin and your eyes to light up. She helped you up the horse, it was a little painful, but you ignored it. The pain was bearable and the excitement of riding a horse made you feel like a little kid on Christmas morning. Last time you rode a horse was with Rick… and that turned out… great, but this time you got to hold the reins. 

“Know how to ride?” 

“Oh, yeah!” You beamed, wanting to take off, but you couldn’t make the horse race off considering your hip besides you were just taking the horse up to the house… not a town over. “My uncle took me horse riding a lot. I even competed in a horse race,” you chuckled at the memory and even harder when you saw Maggie’s shocked, but impressed reaction. 

“Did you win?” The farmer’s daughter asked as you both slowly trekked toward the farm house, causing you to furrow your brows in confusion and her to giggle. “The race, did you win the horse race?”

“Oh!” The realization hit and you laughed. “Nah, I came in like third, but to me it wasn’t about winning. I just liked the adrenaline rush and the wind, the way it made me feel.” Maggie grinned and bobbed her head in understanding, letting a comfortable, gleeful silence loom between the two of you before you remembered something else to ask her. 

“And Maggie?” Her smile faltered once she heard that your tone was different, more worried and urgent. “Can we keep the things on that list I gave you a secret? I just don’t want everyone knowing or worrying about me.”

“Yeah, of course, Y/N.” Maggie held out her hand and your mouth twitched up at the comforting gesture. You grabbed her hand and squeezed, smiles spreading across your faces as you made it back near the house. 

Despite knowing her for only a couple days, you considered her to be a very good friend. She welcomed you- a stranger, helped you through your panic attack and continued to be generous and nice. Other people would’ve looked the other way, ignored you and not given you a time of day, but not her and to you it showed you could trust her. Trusting people was hard for you, talking to and befriending them, sure, you could do that. You were a people person after all, being one helped with being a good cop, but that didn’t mean you trusted every person you met. The list of people you trusted- that you could depend your life on could be counted on your fingers. 

“Y/N! What the hell!” Glenn scolded with his arms extended out while you rolled your eyes and carefully swung your leg off the horse. “Are you crazy? You’re injured and you’re riding a horse?”

“Will you stop yelling at me and help dimwit!” He rushed up to you and grabbed onto your waist and wrist, aiding you off the horse. You had gotten halfway, but you were scared you’d lose your footing or apply too much pressure to your foot, ultimately hurting your hip. “Glenn, I appreciate your concern, but I’m a big girl. Thanks for helping me.” 

“I know… just be careful, okay?” You smiled and patted his baseball cap. “Also… dimwit?” 

Before you could respond, Dale and T-Dog rushed over and said there was a problem with the well which raised a few concerned brows. Everyone, but Rick, Hershel, Daryl and Carol followed the two men to the well, wondering what the hell was the matter. The answer to your question was answered when you peeked into the well to see a very big and disgusting walker look up at you from below. You brought your fingers under your nose and grimaced. “Ew, what the fuck?” 

“How long do you think it’s been down there?” Glenn asked, resting his palms on his bent knees, staring at the walker with disgust. 

“Long enough to grow gills,” Andrea joked, but with a serious tone, making you smirk regardless. It’s probably been in there since the dead start to rise, it didn’t even look like it used to be a person like walkers usually did. Being in the water did a number on it. 

“We can’t leave it in there. God knows what’s doing to the water.” You peered at Lori with confusion not understanding what the point was. 

“We gotta get it out,” Shane agreed with his hands on his hips before T-Dog gave a simple solution, to put a bullet in its head. Maggie objected to the idea and so did Andrea, saying if it didn’t already contaminate the water, then blowing its brains out would do the job. 

“I’m pretty sure it just existing in the water is contaminating the water. Either way, I’m not drinking it,” you commented, your face contorting into repugnance at the thought of even taking a sip of the water after that has been in there.  

Shane chuckled at you and you looked at him, your facial features still showing distaste. “So it has to come out alive?” T-Dog asked, glaring coldly down at the creature with no emotion whatsoever and not wanting to have to get it out. 

“So to speak,” Shane joked, making you cover your mouth as you involuntarily giggled. You coughed to mask your humor, trying to be serious in the situation and it was especially hard when they tried baiting the walker with a canned ham. A canned ham doesn’t kick and scream, so it wasn’t going to budge unless you used live bait… great. 

“We need live bait,” Andrea said moments after you came to the same conclusion, immediately eyeing Glenn who gazed up realizing that she meant him. He sighed, knowing he had to be the one to do it since no one else would, but the tightening of a rope brought everyone’s attention to you. 

“Who’s ready to make a wish?”

_____________________________________

MASTERLIST // TWD SERIES REWRITE

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! If you’d like to added or removed from the tags don’t hesitate to send me an ask or message! <3

A/N: Omg sorry for the lack of Daryl AGAIN. I know he’s in there for a little bit throughout, but to be fair I’m going by the show ya know? Don’t worry though!! I’m almost done with the second part to this and I’m pretty sure we’ll get more of him!! 

Taglist: @jodiereedus22 @sourwolf-sterek32 @jll72-blog @mtngirlforever  @haleypearce @nikkipea @sombra--speaks @the-three-eyed-ravenclaw @bunnymother93 @holyn0vak @myshakespeareandarling @million-dollar-milkshake @thatsoragan @firehoopinmama @mummy-woves-you @sheebthezeeb @j-a-val @filleinterrupted @gruffle1 @lonewolf471 @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @gabbygurrl @burningsorr0ws @siren-queen03 @intogoode @randomfandommess @dixonluvv @aestheticmattilyn @samlott2202 @freggietale @fandomfanatic97 @lxdyred @ii-chuuya-gravity-ii @dashesoflipstick @bucky-barnes-babies @magnumstyles @selvadorada @jordangdelacruz @evilunicorns4minions @littlefool-smalljester @thelastdragon6 @ellie-andthemachine

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Man and Wife Pt.07

The Great Divide

04/19/2019

Pairing: Bucky x Reader          Word Count: 11,985

*Masterpost in Notes     Warnings: language, smut, unprotected sex, infidelity, alcohol consumption, drunk sex, PTSD, violence, so much fucking angst in this one y’all

A/N: I have never been so terrified of posting a chapter before. After the last chapter’s feedback I wanted to make sure to address some of the things that were stressing you guys out. I already knew how it would play out but your feedback helped me realize how much clearer I needed to make it so I created a whole new scene that I hadn’t intended to include. Hopefully you guys will forgive my babe, Casey. This is the big one guys, the one I have been writing and leading and building this relationship up to. I hope I do it justice because I really want it to be worth the journey you guys have taken with me so far. This is the chapter that I pictured when I decided to keep writing this story. I hope you love it--or hate it in the right way--as much as I do. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

“Right here, baby.” Bucky slaps the mitts he’s wearing together, a loud slap, slap filling the room and reverberating back towards you.

You wince. Timid little shit that you are. You’ve never been in a fight before! And here you are facing off with your very large, very strong, threatening mechanical armed husband.

Deep down you know that he would never hurt you but just seeing him face you his hands held in front of you waiting for your punch, you blink, terrified. He’s not even wearing actual boxing gloves like you are. Why are you so scared?

Get a grip, Y/N! You shoot out towards him, a sloppy right hook towards his left hand and you aim too low. Your glove scrapes the bottom of his and you go flying towards him.

Several gasps reach your ears. Bucky catches you, opening his arms so that you fall backwards into him, having twirled around with the momentum of your punch.

“You okay?” He asks, his deep voice pooling with worry. He’s trying to keep it contained but it’s coming out of him in waves.

“Yeah.” You reply, your voice meek and soft as you eye the absolute crowd you’ve drawn into the gym.

Steve and Sam are standing beside the punching bags as they had already been in the gym when you and Bucky had arrived. Wanda had come to meet you, for moral support of course, and sits on a weight bench a good distance away.

Some time, while you had been training, Vision had joined her. Tony and Bruce are huddled by the treadmills. And Natasha and Rhodey are having a quiet exchange, both of their eyebrows drawn together as they eye you and Bucky with concern.

Bucky hikes you back up onto your feet, his arms underneath yours. He turns you and places his mitt covered hands on the sides of your shoulders, trying to reclaim your focus.

Why are all the Avengers in here watching you? This is embarrassing. You suck.

“You sure?”

You chew your lip but nod.

“Okay then. Let’s keep going.” Bucky suddenly says and your eyes finally find his. He holds his hands up again and you move back so that you can retake your stance and you thrust forward once more, aiming your weak punch to meet their target.

You do it over and over. Punch after punch after punch. You miss more than half of them. You trip twice over your own feet, and once Bucky catches you the other, Sam shoots forward and manages to make it so that you land on him and not the hard floor.

When you can barely keep your arms up, Bucky moves onto your legs. He makes you kick and kick and kick. Higher and higher though you can barely reach the base of his chest. You fall a few times here too, but Bucky is quick to dive for you and two times Steve steps in to catch you.

You’re at it for hours, straining to keep going because Bucky still looks perfect across from you. He’s not sweating. You are. You’re drenched. He’s not winded. You are. Your shoulders are heaving, rising and falling as you struggle against the exhaustion you’ve never felt before in your entire life. You never work out. You sit in chairs and read books. This kind of activity has your stomach rolling and it feels like that one time you and Casey had raced down the street in high school and you’d stopped to hurl because while Casey ran track, you’d preferred to write for the school paper.

“Buck maybe-?” Steve, trying to intervene on your behalf.

“Again, Y/N.” He’s firm but still gentle in his coaxing. “Come on, baby, you can do this.”

You blink, sweat burning your eyes as it drips down your forehead.

You shake your head. You can’t feel your legs; your arms are appendages made of what feels like TV fuzz when there’s nothing to see on a channel. White noise.

“I can’t.” You tell him.

“Yes, you can, Y/N. Come on. Just a few more punches.”

“Bucky, no. I can’t.”

“Yes. You can, kitten. Punch me.”

“I’m tired.”

“Punch me!”

“No!”

The gym freezes and all sound seems to vanish as your and Bucky’s shouts echo around you.

“I’m tired! I can’t do this anymore.” You head for the door, struggling to pull the Velcro strap from around your glove but you finally manage it and you’re so eager to pull off the other you just yank the it off.

It pulls painfully around your wrist and you hiss as you drop the glove and stop walking to look at the skin bruise. There’s a rush of feet behind you at your quiet exclamation of pain and you turn to watch as Sam, Steve, Bucky, and Nat all come rushing towards you.

“You okay?” Nat asks.

“What happened?” Sam gasps.

“Is it bad?” Steve wonders.

“Let me see.” Bucky exclaims, the closest, he reaches out and takes your forearm.

You yank it back and turn to head out of that stupid gym and away from the terrible feeling of inadequacy that it provoked in you.

“Y/N…” Bucky calls after you softly and he follows.

You try and walk fast but your legs are so tired that they buckle beneath you and Bucky races to catch you before you can fall.

“I’m sorry, I should have let you take a break. Or…started slower? Next time we’ll-”

“Next time?” You ask, fear and anger turning your blood cold and your eyes wide as you look at Bucky and push him away. You need space. “There isn’t going to be a next time, Bucky.”

“What do you mean? I know I overdid it a bit, but you did really great for your first time. Next time it’ll be easier, and we’ll do less. It won’t be so hard-”

“Bucky.” You speak a bit more loudly so that you can talk over him. You’ve had a problem speaking your mind with him and right now, you’re adamant in making sure that he hears you. “I will not be doing this again. This isn’t who I am.”

“This isn’t about it being about who you are, Y/N. This is about you being safe when I’m not around. Now, with everyone knowing that someone who knows the Avengers lives in our building, it’s important that we make sure you can take care of yourself.”

“Then we can do it some other way because I am not doing that-” You point back at the gym door. “-ever again. I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

“This isn’t an option, Y/N. You need to do this. You need to be able to at least put up a fight.”

“No.”

“Y/N!” Bucky pleads, his voice rising as his face begins to turn lava red.

“This isn’t who I am, Bucky! If you wanted a fighter, then maybe you should have married one!” You push past him and make a beeline for the bathroom because you can feel it coming.

Stumbling with noodle legs inside, you throw yourself over the toilet and wretch up your entire lunch.

This is definitely not a memory you had been hoping to make at the compound. You’re crying by the time you finish throwing up. You wash your face, determined to hide the stains on your cheeks from crying and the way hurling has made your eyes red.

Your legs are still noodles as you walk back out of the bathroom. Bucky’s standing beside the door, holding up the wall with his arms crossed over his wide chest. He drops it when he sees you and rushes back to your side.

You can already see the regret in his eyes. Your chest just about caves in. He must have heard you throwing up.

“I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to make you sick. I-”

“Don’t worry about it, Bucky. It’s not your fault. I’ve just never been very athletic. I can run if I have to but working out? It’s never been my thing.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“I said don’t worry about it.” You don’t want to feel guilty about being useless in this department and yet, you do.

“What can I do to make it up to you?”

“Bucky…” Your voice is already strained with annoyance as you ready yourself for another shouting match. Why can’t he hear you telling him to drop it? Why does he have to press it and make you feel worse? You know that he’s sorry. You know that he only did it because he was worried, but you suck! You really do. You’re no good at this fighting thing. You’ve failed him.

Your husband needs only one thing from you to feel that you’re safe when he can’t be at home and you can’t give it to him.

“Buck!” Steve’s voice floats down the hall, a panicked cry as he races towards the two of you.

Normally, you’d be eager to kill him for interrupting but just this once…

“What?” Bucky turns towards him, but he reaches back, and you take his hand. Fighting aside, this is precious time with Bucky that you suddenly feel might be ripped away from you.

It’s been a month since you and Bucky had the team over to the apartment and you’ve spent more time away from him than with him. It sucks but you get that they’re still chasing the same guy they’ve been chasing for almost half a year.

Who he was? What he’d done? You have no idea. All you know is that Bucky is worried about him coming to look for you—or technically him and just happens to find you.

“We gotta go.”

“Ffff…” Bucky lets the curse trail into nothing, and he squeezes your hand. He doesn’t want to leave you.

You’re not sure why but it’s getting harder to tell him bye. And today, after just having fought?

“Go, Bucky.” You tell him, squeezing his hand in return.

He turns to you and it’s so routine to just kiss you and leave that it surprises you when Bucky pulls you aside, away from Steve.

“Can you do something for me?”

“Anything, Buck.”

“I need you to text me.”

“What?”

“Just a few times a day. Once when you wake up and once before you go to sleep. I might not be able to respond every time but at least I’ll know that you’re safe in bed or safe and out.”

You’re about to protest because you’ve made it all this time without such assurances however, the frantic fear in his steel blue eyes takes your breath away.

“Okay.”

“Thank you, Y/N. Thank you.” Bucky leans down and presses his lips against yours desperately. “And I’m sorry.”

“Go.” You push him, shaking your head because you don’t want to go back to talking about your training.

“I love you.” He declares and kisses you one more time.

You kiss him back, cherishing the soft plush of his lips before he’s pulling away, taking his sweet flavor with him.

“I love you too.”

He backs away from you and only when he reaches Steve does, he turn and head back down the opposite way at a run with Steve.

“Where?”

“Siberia.” Steve tells him. “The base where we found Zemo.”

“Why there?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

Then they’re out of earshot and you can no longer hear them.

There’s a pounding on your door. You look up, startled by the sudden sound and set your manuscript aside. Well, not your manuscript. You’ve never done any extensive writing yourself. Just a few small pieces here and there that you’ve kept hidden where no one might read them.

Who would be coming here? Now? Day three of Bucky being gone. The entire team, actually. You’ve avoided the news because you’re not interested in what you might see.

You stress out enough watching them fight on the news after he’s home. You don’t need to see it while it’s happening.

You’re a little bitter as you make your way to the door. You’d just managed to get yourself to stop worrying about Bucky and Henry has been texting you nonstop to see if you’re alright because he’s watching the news and things apparently “look bad” for the Avengers.

He’d finally stopped texting you when you text him back in all caps;

Y/N: WILL YOU JUST STOP TEXTING ME?! I DON’T WANNA KNOW HOW CLOSE BUCKY JUST CAME TO GETTING DECAPITATED!

Henry: Sorry. I’ll stop. But if you need anything. I’m here.

And then a few moments after that, you shot Bucky a text. Just in case.

Y/N: Baby, text me as soon as you can. I’m worried. I just wanna know you're okay.

The bitterness hits an all time high when you press the small display by the door to see who it is on the other side and spot Casey teetering nervously on her heels.

Goddangit. With a sigh you unlock the door and pull it open then walk back towards the dining table. You sit back down on your chair with your feet balanced on the edge of the table as you pull your manuscript back onto your lap.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Casey accuses the moment she’s stepped inside. She makes sure to lock the door. Maybe if the two of you were only friends then you may have told her to go away, but Casey is like your sister. This connection won’t be severed easily.

“Really?” You ask, voice easy but razor sharp with hostility. You’ve never been this angry at her before. Not even when she borrowed your mom’s dress and accidentally tore it.

Casey makes her way to the table and drops a small drink cradle with two coffees, still hot. Winter is finally here, but only in spirit. There is no snow yet but Thanksgiving’s around the corner and the season has fully changed.

The bitter aroma of java and the sweet hint of cocoa makes your mouth water. As much as you want that coffee though, you’re not going to touch it.

“Hey, quit your shit and tell me what’s going on. You haven’t answered any of my calls and you sure as hell haven’t returned any of my texts. Why are you mad at me?”

“For someone who threatened to kick Bucky’s ass if he hurt me, you seem unconcerned about the fact that you’ve been helping him do it.”

“Me? Wha-?” She blinks, shocked and stunned into silence. For a minute Casey stands with her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

She pulls the nearest chair out, slams it into the floor, and sits. “Explain.”

“Explain what?” You snap.

“Explain what you mean, Y/N because I’m seriously flummoxed here. How the hell have I been helping Bucky hurt you?”

“You were there, Case! You were at those stupid dinners and those parties after they came home from mission. I never thought you’d keep that from me. Didn’t you ever wonder why I wasn’t there with Bucky?”

“That���s why you’ve been avoiding me?” Casey realizes. “Y/N…I-I thought you knew. I thought-”

Casey takes a deep breath as you stare at your manuscript, refusing to meet her green eyes because if you do, you just might cry.

“I’m going to start at the beginning. Okay? Because I hate it when you’re mad at me. It feels like death.”

“Fine.” You reply curtly.

“The first time I went to one of their after-mission dinners, Sam was so exhausted we snuck off to his room. I saw no one that night. The few after that, we did hang out with the team, but Bucky wasn’t there.”

“Wait, what do you mean he wasn’t there?” Where the hell was he? He wasn’t at home!

“I mean, he was there but he wasn’t in the den with us. He’d come in and grab some food and then disappear. At first, I just thought he was maybe grabbing some food to go, to come here. I mean he grabbed enough food to feed four people.” This assumption makes sense for Case. She doesn’t know how much Bucky can eat. “Then one night he came out a second time and I asked Sam why Bucky didn’t hang out with the rest of the team and he told me that Bucky usually needed some time alone after a mission. I was going to go ask him why he wasn’t just going home or why the fuck you weren't there with him but then Natasha stopped me and told me that Bucky was dangerous after a mission if he didn’t unwind the right way. To give him space. I guess she saw where my mind was at, on you, and she assured me that Bucky deliberately kept his distance until he knew he was safe. For you.”

“Dangerous? Dangerous how, Case?” You’re sitting up now, slowly lowering the manuscript back onto the table as your feet find the floor.

“See, I asked her that and she said that on really bad days he can get violent. Not intentionally, but it’s like he has flashbacks? And he just…reacts. One time apparently, just after he’d joined the team, he broke Steve’s arm.”

A shocking wave of pain makes your heart stutter as you remember the things that Steve told you. The way Bucky lost his arm, what they did after that, the torture, the theft of who he was, and you can see how flashbacks to that time of his life might prompt unexpectedly violent reactions.

“Anyway, she said that Bucky locks himself up in his room for a little while to make sure it’s not one of those days and if he’s okay then he’ll come home. She said that other times he just gets really irritable and he tends to pick fights. Not physical fights but he’ll nitpick or make mean little comments. She said it’s a type of-”

“PTSD?” You ask, looking down at your hands because you can’t help but picture Bucky struggling alone, and you hate it. You can also remember each time that Bucky probably forced himself to come home earlier and that might have been why you and he would bicker over the dishes or the clothes you left in the room unfolded.

“Yeah. You two have seemed so happy lately that I was sure that things were getting better? Sam told me that Bucky’s made huge leaps in improvements since he met you. He’s been coming home sooner, and he’s been starting his decompressing on the jet. Secluding himself from the team. And he was calling you more? I didn’t know that he had been struggling so much and I…I thought you knew, Y/N which is why I never mentioned it.”

You shake your head, unable to find the words, and sorry that you took this anger out on Casey. It also really irritates you that all of this could have just been avoided if Bucky had said something. He has a right to struggle and deal with it on his own if that’s what he needs but you should at least know what he’s dealing with. You don’t have to be there; you just need to know that he’s okay! Damn him.

“And you never brought it up, so…damn it, Y/N, why didn’t you tell me you’ve been struggling?”

“And admit that Bucky and I are struggling open communication? That it feels like he's keeping me at a distance? I didn’t want to say it out loud. If I say it out loud…then, it's real.” You lapse into silence, slowly shaking your head. “I’m sorry, Case. That I’ve been ignoring you. I just got so angry after I saw how well you knew Thor and the rest of the team when I hardly knew them, and I’m married to one of them.” You confess. “Shouldn't I know them better?”

“Well, Sam’s a lot more outgoing than Bucky is. He invites me out when he and someone from the team get together outside of work. Not all the time but when he knows I’ll enjoy it. Never when he works out which is, I think when he spends most of his time with Bucky.”

From what you know of Bucky, the only time he goes out is really just to do that, work out or train.

“I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to push you away. I mean, I did but now it kinda sucks because it wasn’t your fault. This whole marriage thing is much harder than I ever thought it would be.”

“Y/N, you married someone you hardly knew. It was always going to be a shitshow getting adjusted to a whole other human being, especially when all you got to see were Bucky’s good parts. Now that you’ve seen some of the bad, now that you know he’s not always happy and charming, do you regret marrying him?”

“Of course not!” You protest the very thought of regretting your union. Marrying Bucky, even upset as you are now that he was going through all of that and keeping it from you, is the best thing you’ve ever done.

“Well, there you go. I guess you really do love him.” Case proclaims. You smile, feeling a bit better, at least with Casey. “Here. Have some coffee. Just like you like it. Extra shot of espresso and an extra pump of white chocolate.”

Casey grabs one of the coffee cups and places it in front of you.

“No. I shouldn’t.” You shake your head, but your smile is still in place and this seems to please Casey so that her own smile doesn’t falter.

“Yes, you should.” Case argues and pushes the cup towards you.

“No. I’m alright.”

“Y/N, just drink the damn coffee so that I feel like you’re not mad at me anymore.”

“I’m not mad at you anymore but if it means that much to you, how about you go get me a glass of milk and we’ll pretend it’s the coffee you bought me?” You offer gently and push the coffee away again as you lift the manuscript back onto the table.

“What the fuck, Y/N? Why won’t you just drink the damn coffee?” Casey wonders, annoyed that her gift isn’t accepted.

“Because you put an extra shot of espresso and I probably shouldn’t drink caffeine at all if I’m pregnant.”

Casey bursts into laughter. It’s loud and she throws her head back, her whole body shaking with her laughter until her eyes find your shy smile and you look down at your hands, neatly folded on your lap.

“Wait…you’re serious?” She stops laughing. “You’re pregnant?!”

“Bucky and I have been really careful. Well, except for two times. One right before we got married and once right after but since then we’ve used condoms every single time. I…I guess one of them broke?”

With a shaky breath you chuckle, and you wonder which time it was. Not that it matters. It’s just funny that for all the care the two of you took to keep this from happening, it happened anyway. You’re surprising calm about it. Like a sense of peace has found its way into you, calming your most frantic of nerves.

“Holy shit! Congratulations!” Casey pulls you into a hug and you laugh into her shoulder. “I mean, you are happy about it, right?”

“Well, it’s not exactly planned but yes. Sooner than I was hoping but if it’s time, it’s time. I can’t wait to meet this baby, Case.”

Casey’s arms tighten around you. “I’m so happy for you, Y/N.”

“Thanks.”

Casey pulls back and she does look very happy for you. Her eyes are twilight Caribbean sea sparkles, her cheeks and ears flushed, and you can see that little smirk that she always wears when something unexpected but exciting happens.

“Does Bucky know?” She wonders.

“No. Not yet. I only found out yesterday. I’m going to wait for him to come home to tell him and then we’ll make an appointment and go see the doctor together.” You’re absolutely overflowing with anticipation to share the most amazing news you’ve ever received yourself with the only person in your life that matters more than your adoptive sisters.

Bucky is going to be so happy.

You’ve been sitting on Casey’s couch, frantic with worry because two days have passed since you asked Bucky to text you and he has still not texted you.

Tempted to turn on the TV, you fled the apartment, Bucky’s ‘Barnes’ handgun safely stowed in your handbag—just in case.

Being at Casey’s is only slightly soothing. Your right hand gently rubs your tummy, nervous tic? Or a subconscious reminder that you’re pregnant? You don’t know yourself. What you do know is that you are out of your mind with images of Bucky’s broken and lifeless body laying on some road somewhere foreign.

The TV in Case’s living room suddenly turns on and the screen is filled with helicopter cam footage of large explosions. You catch a glimpse of Tony and Rhodey flying above a pair of buildings each only about ten stories tall. On the roof are two men, fighting, one wearing a sleek black Avengers uniform, his dark hair wild in the wind. The second, just as large and just as tall, wears torn and tattered rags in various shades of gray and brown.

They’re moving so fast and swift that your eyes struggle to keep up. Several other things are going on inside the buildings and around their base. You can see Wanda and Vision working on a group of black clad men. Natasha is fighting a woman at the base of the other building, throwing punches and kicks at speeds that embarrass your feeble attempts at learning to fight. Steve’s shield flies out of a window, Sam catches it as he rounds the building and then throws it back before diving inside with a splash of glass.

“Oh my God.” You gasp, terror freezing your heart and making your stomach turn.

“What the fu-? Damn it, Lisa. What did I say?” Casey yanks the remote out of Lisa’s hand—her roommate with long dark hair and rail-thin build. Her skin is slightly sallow and pale and her lips oddly full for her teeny tiny frame. “No TV! Go away.”

Lisa rolls her eyes and grumbles as she walks away towards the kitchen.

Casey shuts off the TV and you’re left sitting, quite literally at the edge of your seat, with your hand pressed tight to your stomach and your hand clutching hard to the soft plaid green fabric of your shirt.

“I’m sure they’re fine, Y/N. They have to be fine.” The worry in Casey’s voice reminds you that she has a horse in this race too and with a shared worried look, the two of you slip into silence.

The next day is no better. You’d spent the night glancing at your phone, hoping against all hope that Bucky would text back, but he never did. You stayed up until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any more and relief came only when there was a loud knock on your door.

You stumbled up, half past noon, and finally pressed the panel beside the door. It sprung to life and you jerked back as a pair of bright green eyes, right up against the lens of the camera, crinkled as the person they belonged to smiled.

“Let us in, mopey. I got a text from Sam.” She holds up the phone to the screen and although the message is a little long, two words jump out at you.

Bucky’s fine.

You unlock the door and yank Casey’s phone out of her hand as she moves inside, closely followed by Jess and another one of your friends. One of the girls that had gone to the Ocean Dome with you.

Though she’d been crazy enough to moon the cars behind you on that day, without the two other girls—the apparent bad influences—she was much sweet and smiled as she walked in.

“Hey, Y/N. Wow, your house is beautiful!”

“Thanks, Hali.” Though you’re not even looking at her as you scroll through Casey’s messages and ignore Casey’s nudes as you look for Bucky’s name in more of them. You know Casey’s body almost as well as your own. Curse—or blessing?—of growing up together.

Hali and Jess move into the kitchen carrying insulated wine bags and another bag with snacks while Casey makes a grab for her phone.

“Alright, that’s enough of that. Gimme my phone back, mopey.”

“Is that all he said?”

“Yes.” She finally manages to snatch the phone away from you and you look for her face. “He said they were probably not coming back soon. It might be a really long one this time, Y/N.”

Your heart drops. You’ve never been away from Bucky for more than a week and even that was stressful. Your own phone dings and you race back into your bedroom to get it.

Henry: Hey, just checking in. I’m at the office but if you want some company, I can come over?

You frown, disappointment making your bones feel brittle and like a good smack would snap them all into pieces.

Y/B: Casey and Jess are here. I’m fine. Thanks anyway.

“Bucky?” Casey asks, she’d wandered in after you, looking the bedroom over with eager eyes.

She’s never been in here. In fact, no one but you, Bucky, and Steve have been in the bedroom.

“No. Henry.”

“Oh my God! Is he still after you?”

“He’s not after me Case.”

“Tchyeah, okay. You keep telling yourself that. That dude’s got such a boner for you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“And how’s that?” You sigh, irritated with yourself for even responding to Henry. But you can’t help it. It’s a habit. Four years…that’s a long time to be close to someone. And you know very well that if you don’t reply he’ll only continue to text.

“Like he’d like nothing more than to give you the world.”

Casey’s words send your head spinning and you stare at her with your mouth slightly agape. What do you say to something like that?

“And like he wants to fuck you into next Tuesday.” Casey grins at you and moves over to look at the pictures of you and Bucky on your dresser. When she smiles at them, she’s much more genuine. “These are cute.”

She picks one up and stares at the picture of you and Bucky on the sofa, the first day you moved in. His smile is too wide, forced but his eye are bright with playfulness and the excitement of everything new. All the promises of the future open to both of you. He’s got his metal arm around your shoulders and he’s holding you in a semi-headlock while you laugh, eyes shut, as you hold his metal wrist.

“That’s uh…” You’re still reeling from Casey’s words about Henry, so it takes you a moment to find your voice. “It’s from the day we moved in. I was tired and Bucky saw it before I even said anything. He forced me to sit down on the couch and he wouldn’t let me get up. Then he grabbed his phone and snapped that picture. We made out for like…an hour after that.”

You smile, Henry completely driven from your mind. The smile shifts, twisting down into a pout as your eyes water.

“I can’t lose him, Case.”

Casey’s at your side instantly. “Don’t be stupid. He’s strong, babe. And Sam said he’s safe. Sam wouldn’t lie.”

You nod, hating the pit in your chest where Bucky usually is when he’s home. You want him home! And now they’re expected to be gone for a long time? How long? Another week? A month? Two months? You’re pregnant and you haven’t told him yet.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You know she is.

“You’ve been shut up in here since you came home yesterday afternoon, haven’t you?” She eyes the nest of blankets and the single shirt that Bucky last wore while he was here at home. You’d slept with it pressed against your face. You’re not ashamed and you nod.

“You need a break. We brought some drinks and some chocolates and some other snacks that you like. How about we go get our minds off the boys?”

“But I can’t drink, Case.” Your hands find your stomach and you give it a small rub.

“The wine is for us. You can drink the sparkling cider we brought. But, before you can drink, you seriously need to shower, and change. We might not be going anywhere but that’s no excuse to look like the monster from the black lagoon.”

You scoff, typical of her to point out what a mess you look in the mornings. And yet, Bucky hasn’t complained once…of course, that might be because he’s always gone when you wake up.

Ugh…a shower might be just what you need.

A shower was definitely what you needed. You felt much better after you got cleaned up and dressed yourself in a pair of ratty old jeans, rolled up to mid-shin and then topped with one of Bucky’s light gray sweaters. Even the clothes that he hasn’t worn smell like him.

The day passes in a flurry of girl-talk, binging on sweets, and drinking not just alcohol. After dinner, Jess finally busts out the wine. She’s still heavily pregnant but nearly ready to pop and like you cannot enjoy in the decadence of the red wine that Casey had picked out. Hali is already drunk of course.

As ten o’clock rolls around, she’s taken to laughing loudly at the silly jokes that Jess makes. Jess smiles, slightly annoyed, but slightly entertained by how easily she can make Hali laugh now that she’s drunk.

“Jess? I thought you were due this week?” You wonder, sipping on your sparkling cider, carefully poured into a champagne flute to make you feel like you can still party. Jess thinks nothing of it, or if she knows that you’re pregnant, she says nothing.

“I am. I was. This brat will not come out. She’s clinging to my uterus like a fucking koala.”

You chuckle.

The four of you have settled around the sofa. Jess is sitting in the orange armchair, laid back with her hands on her massive belly. Hali is sitting with her back to Jess now, legs extended across the sofa, her feet on Casey’s lap. You have chosen to sit at the end of the coffee table. You have easy access to your glass of sparkling cider and the carpet is actually pretty comfortable.

“What did your doctor say?”

“That she should just be patient. But when the fuck has Jess ever been patient?”

“She waited for me to get dressed and I took forever.” Hali offers, slurring her words as she speaks. She’s so far gone.

“Thanks, Hal, but I meant for something longer than a change of clothes.” Casey clarifies.

“Have you tried anything? To induce your labor?”

“Jeff and I fucked like a couple of rabbits this morning before the kids woke up. Didn’t work.”

“Is that supposed to work?” You ask, your giggles bubbling up towards your chest.

“I don’t know. But it was fun.” She grins at you, wide and Cheshire like.

You throw your head back and laugh, Casey simply smirks and shakes her head. You really hope that you and Bucky are still that into each other after so many years of marriage. Jess’s eldest is just about ten.

The four of you talk, exchange stories for another hour, and you’re still shaking with laughter at Casey’s explanation of how her roommate’s boyfriend likes to walk around naked when a boom at your front door startles your heart straight into your throat.

You scurry onto your knees while Hali, Jess, and Casey all sit up straighter and look towards the front door with you.

Your fear has lodged your heart up creating a lump so that you can’t properly swallow but you somehow manage to swallow it down as relief takes the place of your fear.

“Bucky.” You gasp quietly, your love and worry mingling to create a pained moan of his name.

It takes a second for the bliss of suddenly seeing him to pass. You hadn’t been expecting him after all. He was supposed to be gone for a long time according to Sam and Casey but here he is, looking…well, he looks pissed. His brow is furrowed, dark dilated eyes stare at the four of you. He’s dirty, covered in smudged dirt and dried blood. His uniform is torn in several places and his flesh hand, wrapped tightly around the handle of his duffel bag is shaking.

“Bucky?” You push yourself up further onto your knees and watch as he turns his glare towards your friends. He slams the door shut, making all of you jump, and without a word he stomps across the entryway and down the hall where the bedroom door is shoved open so hard you can hear it hit the wall of the room and then slam shut once more.

“Y/N?” Casey asks, worried.

You’re not hearing her. You’re on your feet and following after Bucky. You open the door slowly and take a careful gander around the room until you spot him yanking out used clothes from his duffel bag and throwing them into the hamper by his dresser.

Each movement is sharp, sudden, and furious. Even from across the room you can feel the rage radiating off his body. Should you leave him alone? You don’t want to leave him alone. You’ve missed him and you’d been so worried. So out of your mind with scenario after scenario of what might have been happening to him.

Then he never texted you back and-

“Why is the clothes still sitting on the chair?” He gripes.

“Bucky is everything okay?” You probe gently, careful with your tone and your word choice. He looks like he literally just came home from the mission and if what Casey had told you was right, if he needs time to settle after a mission, today he didn’t get it.

“Why didn’t you text me last night?”

“I did!” You protest the idea that you hadn’t texted him. Didn’t you? Shit.

“I asked you for one thing, Y/N. One gawdamn thing and you couldn’t even do that.”

“Hey!” You argue, raising your voice to match his volume. You’re not going to be chastised like some irresponsible child. “I texted you yesterday and asked you if you were okay because I was worried, and you never messaged me back. I stayed up half the night waiting for your reply and it never came.”

Bucky turns to look at you, his eyes still black, seething pools of bubbling pitch. It burns and scars your heart, this rage aimed at you.

“Oh, what? Was I supposed to stop mid-fight and text you back?”

“Don’t be stupid, Bucky. I have never once made it seem as if I expect you to put your fighting aside for me.”

“No. You just cling and suffocate me while I’m home.” Bucky growls, turning his back on you to pull more clothes from his duffel bag.

His words hit you like a slap to the face. Where is this coming from? Is that what he really feels? No. No, this is his PTSD talking. That meanness that Natasha had told Casey about.  He doesn’t mean it.

You try to calm your pounding heart, pushing the sharp ache away because you need to get through to him. You have news for him. Good news. Should you tell him now?

“You know, I cut the mission short, for you.” He spits, gesturing towards you with his right arm. “You never messaged me, and I was out of my fucking mind thinking that after we lost him in the city he’d come here, to get to me through you. Then I come home, and I find you yucking it up with your friends?”

“Bucky���” You plead, you just need to get a word in.

“None of this would be an issue if you’d just done the damn training like I asked. If you could protect yourself then I wouldn’t have to be here twenty-four seven. Why are you so fucking helpless?”

You laugh bitterly, edgy biting laughter as his words sting harshly. “Excuse me? You’re hardly here at all, what do you mean you’re here twenty-four seven? I’ve spent more time with Henry while we’ve been married than I have with you.”

Bucky punches the bedframe at the sound of Henry’s name, and you jump, startled by the violence.

“Don’t you dare say his name in this house.” He mutters, low and guttural.

“Bucky, what is this? Where is all this coming from? It’s just a misunderstanding! I know I didn’t text, but I was so wrapped up with waiting for you to text that I didn’t think that-”

“That’s right! You didn’t think. Instead I went two days without hearing from you and I was so certain that you must have been taken or killed that I raced back here breaking all protocol to make sure that you were safe. I just spent the last six days getting shot, blown up, punched, and fucking magicked around the city and you’re here at home laughing with your gowdamn pals!”

A quick and almost inaudible knock cuts through the tension of the room. A moment later, the door opens just enough for Casey to poke her head. Her eyes are wide and worried as they pass over Bucky and stop when they find you.

“Hey, we’re gonna go.”

No…fuck. “Case,” You begin, worried not only for Casey but Jess and Hali too.

“It’s okay, I’ll call you later, okay?”

“No, Case, you don’t have to go.” You turn to give Bucky a glare before moving after her out into the hallway. When you reach the living room, you can see Hali and Jess already standing by the door with their coats on.

When they see you and Casey they move out into the hallway.

“Casey,”

“Y/N. Really, it’s alright. You two need some space. If you need me though, call me.”

She gives you a tight smile and shuts the door behind her. You stare at the metal, chest aching and stomach turning. What must Casey have been feeling to leave like that? Normally she would have been jumping in to defend you, to fight this fight for you. But it’s not her fight and you can see why she felt she needed to go.

“Good. They’re gone. Now I can have some peace and quiet in my house.” Bucky’s voice grates your nerves, his little comment lighting a fire in the pit of your stomach.

“Your house?”

“I paid for it.” Who the fuck is this guy?

You turn to look at him, eyes wide and brimming with tears. “What did you just say?”

Maybe he finally sees how serious this whole thing has become because he doesn’t repeat his words, and yet he keeps his eyes on you, unwavering in his temper. His eyes are still black, so dilated that there is no hint of his cool blue. His stare, his narrowed brow and the way he clenches his metal fist tight, is unnerving. You’ve never been afraid of Bucky before but in this moment, this brief moment he’s not the man you married. Who the hell is he?

Bucky would never have spoken words to deliberately hurt you.

The words tumble from your lips with no coaxing. Like they’ve been waiting to be said for a long time. They fall so easy that it scares you how simple it was to open your mouth and say them.

“Maybe we got married to soon.” You ponder, looking down at his chest.

As sad as you are to say these words, you don’t expect the pain that follows when Bucky agrees with you. “Yeah. Maybe it was all a mistake.”

You meet his eyes again and he’s still staring at you with that cold stare. Unwilling to let him see you cry, you turn your back on him and after a minute, you hear him leave. The bedroom door shuts again and after a few more minutes, the shower comes on and you finally move towards the sofa.

You cry for a bit, drying your tears as they fall.

This isn’t Bucky. This isn’t Bucky. This isn’t my Bucky.

You repeat these words in your head over and over, trying to convince yourself that this isn’t happening. Your lip trembles as you place your hand on your stomach and rub it slowly. Marrying Bucky…you’d said too soon because even right now, you don’t regret marrying him.

Should you? Should you wish you hadn’t? With this baby coming and all the good moments? Does this bad one outweigh all of that? Perhaps it doesn’t. But you feel like shit now and all you want to do is curl up in bed and forget this night ever happened.

Almost an hour later, when your tears have dried Bucky’s form pulls your attention to the entrance of the hallway.

He’s showered but not dressed for bed. Jeans and a tight black long sleeve. Brown boots on his feet and his hair pulled back into a bun, higher than he normally wears it. He’s pulled it back carefully, styling it in the most minimalist of senses. A few dark strands of hair frame his bearded face and his eyes…you can see some blue now.

He shoves his hands into his pockets as he stares at the floor. “Steve just texted. Tony’s ordering some food and drinks. We lost Elias after he escaped into the city sewers and there’s no sense in searching until he pops up like he usually does so, so we’ll wait.”

“Who’s Elias?” You ponder, not really asking him but asking him at the same time. If he doesn’t answer, you don’t care.

When he answers he’s slightly exasperated, like you should know this already. “The bastard we’ve been chasing for near on six months, Y/N.”

You bristle at his tone. This isn’t your fault! “Well excuse me for not knowing. You don’t tell me shit, so how am I supposed to know who the fuck Elias is?”

Bucky shuts his eyes, straining against whatever anger he’s trying to keep contained. It sucks to see him struggle, swallowing hard to keep his calm. “You should go change so we can go.”

You look down at your hands, slouched against the couch, you fiddle with your thumb nail, scraping off the already chipped red nail polish. “I’m not going.”

“What?” Bucky asks, dark confusion rolling across his tongue.

“I’m tired. And I’m not in the mood to be around people. You go. I’m not going.”

You get up and make to move past him, but he grabs your elbow. Not hard, he doesn’t hurt you, but he’s keeping you from walking.

“What do you mean, you’re not going? You wanted this. You asked me for this. You wanted to be included so I’m including you.” He reminds you.

You reach up and push his hand off of your arm. “I said, I don’t want to go.”

“You’re going, Y/N. You’re my wife. You need to go.”

Your eyes widen, hadn’t he just said it was all a mistake?! And how dare he order you to do anything!

“No.”

His hand tightens around your arm, still not painful, but the pressure is intense.

“You’re going.”

“No, Bucky, I’m not. You expect me to follow you to the compound, hang around your friends, and play the dutiful wife after the way you just treated Casey and Jess? I will not go, and you can’t make me.”

“Damn it, Y/N, I need you there.” He insists and you yank your arm from his but he’s blocking the way to the bedroom with no intention of budging, so instead you turn around and head out the front door without a second glance back.

Bucky’s drunk. Thor is such a bro for bringing the good stuff with him.

Though Bucky isn’t quite sure how he manages to make liquors and beers that actually make him, and Steve feel it, he’s forever grateful. Today especially.

As Bucky empties his fourth glass of sweet sugar-honey whiskey—or he thinks it might qualify as whiskey, it has the same feral bite—he reaches up to wipe at his eyes, pressing the heel of his hand hard against his them turning his vision into swirling multicolored splotches in the blackness.

No matter how much he presses, he can’t erase the image of you walking away from him. Practically running. He can’t blame you. He was a downright dick to you. He didn’t mean the things he said but he said them all the same and he saw the way you cried because of them.

“Bucky, you alright?” Steve asks and claps Bucky’s shoulder. “Where’s Y/N? I thought you said you were going to start bringing her?”

“Steve, do you ever wonder if you’ve fucked something up so badly that there’s no possible way of fixing it?”

Steve slowly lowers himself into the seat beside Bucky, leaving his hand on his friend’s slouched back.

“Something happen with Y/N?”

“Yeah. I opened my mouth.”

“Where is she, Bucky?” Steve asks, a chastising quality to his tone.

“She left me.” Bucky says simply. “She walked away from me.”

“Buck, I’m sure Y/N didn’t leave you. She loves you. No matter what you do or say-”

“It was different this time, Stevie…I really fucked up. I said things I-I didn’t mean…or…maybe they’re things I don’t want to mean.”

Just one thing. That maybe marrying you was a mistake. He still can’t believe he said it. He wants to go back in time and shoot himself in the head rather than say that to your face again. Of course, it wasn’t a mistake. Or…or was it?

It could never be a mistake for him. You’ve given him stability and a reason to wake up every day and try harder to get over this darkness that perpetually haunts him, plaguing his life with ruin.

Since you’d come into his life, his nightmares had all but left him. But you…

You’re so small, so fragile. You should be protected and kept safe but it’s so hard to do that. It’s so difficult to take care of you when Bucky can’t even look after himself. He’s a mess. He’s still struggling so much with Hydra’s brainwashing. Maybe it would be better for you if you were with someone else?

“Buck, whatever you said, I’m sure Y/N knows that you didn’t mean it. And if she doesn’t, then you need to show her that you didn’t. It’s time you stop being such a dumbass and get your shit together Buck. For Y/N’s sake if not for your own. She depends on you.”

“Yeah.” Bucky agrees. “I think that’s the problem. I’m not dependable.”

Steve is about to argue when Tony’s voice calls out to him. He looks over towards the den door from the long dining table, and spots Tony with a group of new S.H.I.E.L.D. recruits sprinkled throughout the trainees that had previously come to talk.

“I’ll be back.” Steve assures him and disappears into the small cluster.

Bucky refills his glass and drinks again.

A few minutes later, he feels a warmth settle beside him. For a moment he thinks it might be you, having changed your mind. Then when he sees the blonde head of hair, this time carefully waved and left to flow down strong supple shoulders, he’s both pleased and disappointed that it isn’t you.

It’s in this moment, when the pleasure he feels at the fact that you didn’t cave and come running to him, that you’re finally standing up for yourself and all the shit he’s put you through, that Bucky realizes that he’s failed you.

He’s lost you. He’s been a shitty husband and soon, he’s sure, he’ll be a divorced man because he couldn’t protect and keep his wife happy. His eyes water slightly as he blinks at the pretty blonde.

“Hello again, Sergeant Barnes.” The blonde smiles.

How do men do this? How does anyone do this? How do they lose the loves of their lives and keep living after they’re gone? It’s suffocating—like you aren’t. He’d said you were suffocating but you’re not. He’s such shit. Fuck him. Fuck his life.

“Do I know you, sweetheart?” Bucky slurs, teetering more towards drunk than tipsy.

“We met up for coffee, remember? I had questions about your time with Hydra? Penny Santor?” She seems disappointed that he doesn’t recognize her.

Bucky squints at her and his eyes devour her form. She’s wearing a S.H.I.E.L.D. jumper. Dark blue and skin tight. He can see every shift of her muscles. He strong body is nothing like yours.

He downs the rest of his drink but continues to eye this girl.

“Did you fight Tasha in your training yet?” He asks, sitting up to turn and face her.

“Yeah!” She waves over one of the hired bartenders and asks for a drink of her own. For the next two hours, Penny Santor tells Bucky all about her training. She’s top of her unit, skilled in hand-to-hand with a specialty in knives and sleuthing.

In other words, she's sneaky as fuck.

She’s slurring too by the time he finally interrupts her again. She’s leaning her head on his shoulder, having fallen forward as she flirtatiously batted her eyelashes at him.

Every move her body makes, Bucky’s eyes studies. It’s mesmerizing, the way her muscles tighten and shift underneath her uniform.

She's strong…not fragile.

He really wants to see those muscles bare. He tilts his head a little so that he can look at her face, only inches away since it’s on his shoulder.

“Whadiyoo say yer time wass? Wid Tasha? How long dijoo last?” Bucky has had too much to drink and this blonde's pretty blurry face is dizzying. He can feel her hand on his thigh and although there is a small voice in his head screaming at him to get up and get some air, a much larger part of him wants to know: if this girl was left alone, would she be able to protect herself?

Could he leave her alone in a darkened alley and come out the other side unharmed? It's so tempting. Strength in a partner.

“Sergeant Barnes, whadar you rilly askin’ me?”

“Bucky.” He says, correcting her. His lips curved up minutely at the corners.

She laughs, giggling at the name and her cheeks flush bright red. “Okay…Buckyyyyy.”

“Yer really drunk.” He tells her, chuckling once, and she reaches up to slap his shoulder but misses and she falls closer to his face.

“So’re yoouuu.” She whispers, breathing bitter tonic and lemon onto Bucky’s lips.

“Icants take care of’er, Poppy.” Bucky's lips turn down, a frown, puppy-like in its strange intoxicated innocence.

“Iz Penny.”

“P-Penny…” Bucky stutters, upset, missing you. You’re a hole in his chest. With his mouth twisted and his eyes lost he reaches up to push—was it Poppy?—her blonde hair back behind her ear.

“I’mma kiss you now, Bucky.”

“No…” Bucky protests but Penny leans forward and presses her full mono-lips against his.

Fuzzy alarms go off in his head and he reaches up to push her away but instead his hands curve around the strong taut muscles of her shoulders as he pulls her closer.

She whispers a moan against Bucky’s lips and those fuzzy alarms go off again as something registers as inherently incorrect in the moment. His mind loses this realization the next second and he groans against Penny’s lips.

“Bucky!” Suddenly yanked back, Bucky looks up towards the yanker and smiles as his blue eyes fall on his most bestest, most awesomestest friend in the whole fucking world.

“Stevie! Look Poppy, it’s Stevie. I still can’t believe you’re so damn tall.” He mumbles.

“Buck, you’re drunk. Let’s get you out of here.”

Cold winter air hits Bucky’s face with a harsh sting. It sobers him up a bit but not enough that he can walk on his own.

“How much did you drink, sheesh, Bucky, you reek.”

“It was just a couple of drinks.” Bucky’s slur is gone at least.

Soft, leather covered cushions make him float. It feels like he’s moving forward but he’s sitting so he can’t be moving.

“You just cling and suffocate me while I’m at home.” Bucky groans, shutting his eyes as his words repeat in his head.

“We’re almost there, Buck.”

“None of this would be an issue if you’d just done the damn training like I asked. If you could protect yourself then I wouldn’t have to be here twenty-four seven. Why are you so fucking helpless?” Bucky grits his teeth. He doesn’t want to be sober. The less drunk he is, the more he can hear himself tearing into you.

“Maybe we got married to soon.” Your words this time and they twist his heart. He reaches up and hits his chest with his harsh metal hand clawing at the fabric there to try and reach into his chest. Maybe he can rip his own heart out?

“Hey, stop it.” Steve says, pushing Bucky's hand down.

Bucky swings forward then slams his head back against the seat. Metallic screeching and the peak if leather fills the car.

“Woah, Buck, it’s okay. We’re almost to the apartment.”

“Yeah. Maybe it was all a mistake.”

“Yeah. Maybe it was all a mistake.” No.

“Yeah. Maybe it was all a mistake.” It wasn’t. Why did he say it?

“Fuck!” Bucky shouts, reaching up to pull at his hair while his own words haunt him, swirling around his mind with relentless persistence.

“Buck, what the hell is going on?” Steve asks, so worried his voice is demanding but soft. It drifts towards Bucky like a tip toeing whisper across his mind. He can tell that Steve is afraid to make whatever is happening worse.

Bucky can feel the car stop now. He’s less drunk. He can see the lights of the building clearly, the dusty blue painted brick, the black molding, the yellow bulb by the large doorway.

“You want help getting up there?”

“No.” Bucky shoves open the door and nearly trips over the curb, but he manages to regain his balance by holding onto the car door.

Steve rises out of his side and stares across the top of the car towards him. “Buck, wait, let me help you.”

“Fuck off, Steve.” Bucky sighs.

It creaks and groans in protest of his weight, so he slams it shut then stumbles towards the door with Steve’s eyes boring into his back. It’s a struggle up the stairs—the stupid building elevator seems to be under never ending restoration to preserve the original art deco architecture—but he reaches his floor after several minutes and stops to carefully place his thumb on the scanner to go inside.

It takes him two tries because the first time his hand misses and hits the pad off center.

As son as he’s inside he can feel your absence. This apartment, his home with you, it’s empty and cold. You’ve left him and the ripping agony of being abandoned by you threatens to overwhelm him.

“Y/N?” He calls out anyway, hoping that you’ll bound out from the hallway, smile stretching across your pretty face as your eyes light up the way they do only for him.

He doesn’t want to feel like this. If being in love means feeling like this, what’s the point of giving into it? He doesn’t need this pain. He doesn’t want it. But he can never regret you—the girl in the soft pink bathing suit, limping up the stairs, beautiful and helpless.

A timid knock on the door behind him has him whirling around. He pushes the door open. “Y/N?” He gasps.

Instead he finds Poppy…no, Penny. He remembers her now.

His eyes shift to her lips because although he fights through the fog obscuring the recent memory, he knows what those lips taste like. He finds her eyes, soft blue orbs with unrestrained desire.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky asks, almost angry but not quite. The misery in his chest like a filter, dulling his rage.

She says nothing but she edges her way through the opening in the door. Bucky steps back, seeing the drunken stupor in his eyes reflected in hers. She shouldn’t be here. He’s not…he can’t think straight. Too much has happened too quickly.

They lost Elias. He lost you. He hurt you, bad. He failed you. You left him. He said so many horrible things. What if that’s who he truly is? What if he’s the monster that they made him, and he can never be anything else?

Bucky doesn’t want to think. He doesn’t want to feel. He wants to lose himself in something. Anything. And there she so conveniently is, Penny, licking her lips, biting them and dragging them between her teeth. Tight, ripped body, and like him, all inhibitions gone.

Bucky blacks out, his mind shuts off and he pulls the girl hard against his body.

The next few minutes are a flurry of stumbling steps, crashing against walls, bumping teeth, and wet sloppy kisses. Thin, graceful hands tangle in his hair, yank it hard as he finds the zipper of her suit and nearly breaks it off.

As soon as her skin is exposed, he begins to feel it, stroking needy fingers along the velvet peach. He feels mattress on his back and gentle rutting against his thigh as his shirt is pulled over his head and his pants are quickly discarded after.

When she stands, Bucky pulls her uniform off and throws it aside. He lays her flat on her back and his hands go to work, caressing her most sensitive spots.

As his hands wind down along her sides, his thigh gently pressing against her heated sex, he shakes away the thought that these curves don’t feel right. They’re too tight. Too firm as he tries to grab hold. The curve in all the wrong ways and he gets no thrill from tracing them. As he trails kisses up along her toned stomach, the taste is all wrong. Too tart, too salty. It makes him want to gag for one shocking moment, but he pushes through it to taste her breasts.

The moan that floats from her lips is too deep, too long. The sound is terrible. He doesn’t like it.

For a moment Bucky opens his eyes and stares into her own hazy blues. They’re not your eyes. He shuts his eyes again hard, fighting the need to pull away and dives down to silence her moaning with his lips.

After another blackout passes, Bucky finds himself inside of her, thrusting, rough almost violent stabs with his cock, trying desperately to chase away the black pit in his chest. Sharp nails scrape his shoulders, too hard. It doesn’t hurt the right way. It irritates him and he suddenly wants to tie her hands up so she can’t touch him.

“Oh, yeah baby, just like that. Right there…ah…” A whispered pant, demanding and confident.

“Don’t talk.” Bucky growls. She’s not allowed to talk; her voice is all wrong. “Don’t say anything.”

“Why?”

“Just shut up.” He shoves himself in harder then pulls out to roughly turn her over, so he doesn’t have to look at her. Harsh metal digging into muscled hip and steel strong bone. She cries out from the pain, but Bucky doesn’t stop. He doesn’t care.

This is easier. Now that he can’t see her face, he feels a little better, but only a very little. He grips her hips and slams into her once more, moving faster and rougher. She reaches back to pull him closer, helping to shove him in further.

“Don’t touch me.” Bucky grunts, reaching back to slap her hand away.

She drops it and goes back to fisting the sheets. A few moments later she screams, too loud, too sharp, the sound is unpleasant and Bucky’s stomach rolls with toxic bile as she twitches around his cock.

He stops thrusting, watching as she pants then her eyes begin to shut and because she’s drunk, she falls asleep.

Breathless for many different reasons, Bucky rolls off of her and lays beside her, no climax for him because he could have fucked her all night and he would have never been able to do it. She isn’t you. He covers himself with his sheets as he shuts his eyes and once again presses the palms of his hands hard against his eyes.

None of that had felt right. None of that had been what he needed. He’d blacked out twice. For a few minutes, his mind had been at ease if only because he couldn’t think. Now all he can think about is the fact that he’s driven you away.

You’re not sure why you stay out so long. You don’t go see Henry. Of course, you don’t. Why would you? Though what with the office being so close, it would have at least been a place to lay low for a few hours.

But too much can go wrong. There’s too much temptation to take comfort in him because you know if you asked for it, he would give it. So instead, you avoid going by the office. You walk to Casey’s which takes you about half an hour but stop just outside her place and turn to head back.

You make this walk several times, all the way to Casey’s then back to the corner before you turn into your street, all the while trying to think of a way to fix all of this.

When the night is biting cold, and you can’t walk anymore because your legs are exhausted, you make your way back home.

The building is quiet, dead asleep. As you walk down the hall and stop at your door, you accept that this won’t be easily fixed. There’s a lot to talk about. So much more than just the things that were said tonight.

Bucky has been hiding so much from you, about himself. How are you supposed to make this marriage work if you don’t have all the information you need to do it? But he’s worth it. Your Bucky is worth it. All those beautiful moments spent with him, playful days spent in bed or lounging on the couch. Watching movies and listening to music he’s never heard before. Dancing in the living room and down the hallway when he gets excited with the sway of the song.

And so many blissful exchanges of love in bed. You’ve loved his body in so many ways since you’ve met him and he’s worshipped you passionately, lovingly. His touch is the most addictive of drugs and if you must struggle through getting him to open up to you to have that high again, you will, because now there’s more to come. A future growing in your belly. This baby means everything, and you can’t wait to tell him.

You shut your eyes tight, expel all your worry with a quick sigh, then press your thumb to the small panel. Your door clicks open and you move inside.

The living room light is on. Is Bucky home? You hadn’t been expecting him to be here.

You peel off your coat and hang it then remove your shoes. Slowly you make your way down the hall. Your door is slightly ajar.

Is he actually waiting for you? Did he not go to the compound after all? What if he didn’t? What if you’ve been walking around while he’s been waiting here to make up with you? To make it all better?

With a nervous, stuttering heart, you push the door open as quietly as you can then feel the bitter sting of confusion as your brain tries to catch up with why your chest is caving in. Your legs are already week and your knees want to buckle. You want to fall to the ground, but your mind doesn’t know why.

Wretched poison—burning, spitting, searing makes its way into your chest. The thing you call a heart dies and shrivels then rips itself into pieces as your eyes make out the naked shape of a sleeping woman barely covered with your pale-yellow bed sheets. You can see golden freckles splashed over the tight muscles of her shoulders, her tanned peachy skin glows even in the moonlight as if she were kissed by the sun. Beside her is the modestly covered but clearly also naked form of your husband.

How can he lay there so casually with his right arm underneath his head and his left leg propped up as he stares at the ceiling? Next to that woman? Covered in the sheets you picked? On your side of the bed? Your bed!

It takes only a second for this to happen, for you to see. The light of the hallway brightens the room as the door swings open and Bucky’s eyes move towards the shift and the near imperceptible creak of the hinge.

When he sees you, he shoots up, pushing himself up onto his elbows and then hands in a panic as his previously relaxed face tightens into agonized worry.

“Y/N…”

You can’t even speak. You have no voice. You have no strength, no will, all you have is the strangled torment that paints your whole world black. You gasp, sharp and sudden then turn and leave.

“Wait!” The sounds of tripping, stumbling, something breaking follow you into the hallway. “No! Y/N!”

Your hands are shaking as you reach the front door and bend down towards your shoes. You pull one on and then the other as Bucky comes barreling around the corner wearing only his briefs.

“Y/N…no. Wait I-”

Please don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.

He grabs your arm and you yank it away as if he’s burned you. You look at his face and he’s shaking his head, his blue eyes pleading and sorrowful. How dare he look like that, as if you’re the one wrong for catching him in bed with another woman. Or…maybe that’s just what you’re seeing? He could also genuinely be panicked with grief.

“This…” This marriage. This relationship. This agreement. This whole life and everything you and Bucky share…You take a deep breath and your voice hitches. “…was a mistake.”

You gasp but no tears stream down your face. You are too livid. Too enraged to do anything but shake with rage.

“No.”

You move for the door, forgetting your coat, but Bucky’s hand closes around your wrist and you round on him, hand held up, swinging fast to slap him. He flinches and you stop it a few inches from making impact as your mind floods with the stories that Steve told you. All the physical and mental abuse that Bucky has suffered…you can’t make your hand come down. You can’t add to that toxicity that began this whole mess.

Seeing Bucky flinch because of you somehow still hurts because it’s you making him cower.

“Baby please…” Bucky begs with profound desperation. “L-Let me explain.”

With one final tug you pull your arm out of his grip and leave, slamming the door shut behind you.

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[e11evenseggos]

A Call for Dr. Goodkin

Heyyy Chloe @blush-and-books​! I hope you enjoy your gift, xoxo Santa! @stitcherssecretsanta2019​

Read on AO3 or read below:

It was late. Any enthusiasm for the current case had worn off hours ago as the team puzzled over what Kirsten’s latest stitch could mean and where the clues would lead. Cameron was exhausted to say the least, so when his phone rang and he saw “Mom” pop up on the screen, he let out a long sigh.

I do not have the energy for a fight tonight, Mom. Keep it civil.

Despite himself, Cameron answered the phone, “Hey, Mom.”

“Hi my sweet, Cameron. How are you?” She cooed.

“I’m good. Tired but good.” He answered truthfully. “How are you?”

“Busy.”

“Okay. Listen, I really should go- “

“The research position at MIT has opened up again. I think you should take it.”

“Mom. I already have a job here. And a life.”

“Being stuck in a government lab in a random basement is not a life.”

“I have friends.”

“Have you met someone?”

“Not exactly.”

“Cameron.”

“Mom.”

“I think you should at least consider it. You’ve always loved the east coast, and your salary would increase exponentially. And you’d be at the forefront of neuroscience research and technology. The field would be lucky to have you.”

“Mom I- “

“Don’t let your talents waste away.” Click. Marion hung up without so much as a goodbye. Typical.

The next morning, Cameron sat at a table in the breakroom clutching a cup of coffee and staring off into space. 

Kirsten shuffled in, bleary-eyed from a restless night obsessing over finding Stinger, and made a beeline for the coffeemaker. As she brewed herself a large, extra-strong cup, she muttered, “Good morning” over her shoulder to Cameron who didn’t answer.

She turned to look at him as he sat there lost in space and sat down in front of him with her freshly brewed coffee. She nudged his leg gently with her foot. “Earth to Cameron.”

“Sorry, what?” He asked, coming out of his reverie.

“You okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, no. Yeah.”

“That’s not very convincing.”

“I know.”

“What’s up?”

“I got a call from my mom last night,” Cameron finally answered.

“Oh.” I understand. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. She just called to tell me about a research position that opened up. It’s a dream position for me, really. But I passed it up years ago to join the Stitchers program. And here I am.”

“Here you are. Where’s the position at?”

“MIT.”

“Wow. That’s so impressive.”

“It’s also so far away.”

“You’re not scared are you.” It wasn’t so much a question as a challenge.

“That’s not it.”

“Then what’s stopping you from chasing your dream?”

Cameron gives Kirsten a meaningful look, which she deftly ignored.

Eventually Cameron said, “Nothing…I guess.”

“I think it’s really great Cameron. You should go for it.” Kirsten said, trying to mean it.

“You think so?”

More convincing this time, “Yeah. You should at least think about it.”

“Okay, I will. Thanks,” Cameron said, still a little deflated. Nevertheless, he forced a smile as he stood up and headed to his workstation.

Kirsten remained seated, watching him go, the light gone from her eyes and an unfamiliar pressure in her chest.

****************************

A few weeks passed without mention of the research job. But one morning Cameron practically bounced into the lab. He rushed up to Kirsten and exclaimed, “I got the job!” He enveloped her in a tight bear hug.

“Cameron that’s great. I’m so proud of you,” she said as he released her from his grasp.

“Thanks. I can’t believe it’s actually happening.”

“I can.”

Linus and Camille walked up to them.

“Congrats, bro!”

“Congratulations, Cameron!” They cheered.

“Thanks, guys!”

“Have you told Maggie yet?” Camille asked.

Cameron paled at the thought. “No, not yet,” he muttered quietly.

Just then Maggie entered the lab. “What are you doing? Conference room now,” her voice as sharp and commanding as ever.

“Cameron needs to talk to you,” Camille said, effectively throwing him under the bus.

Cameron glared at Camille, but she just shrugged and said, “You’d never have done it on your own.”

“Very true,” Linus chimed in.

“That’s fair,” Cameron said at the same time.

“Fine. My office. Conference room in five,” Maggie said. Cameron followed her into her office. She closed the door behind him and sat behind her desk.

“Take a seat.”

“I’m okay.”

“Sit.”

Cameron sat.

Maggie said nothing.

“I got the research job at MIT,” he finally squeaked out.

“I know.”

“Right. Of course.” Maggie knows everything.

“When do you leave?”

“A few weeks.”

“Good. Then you’ll find us a replacement.” It wasn’t a request. It was an order.

“Yes, ma’am.” Cameron nodded a little too enthusiastically.

With that settled, Maggie led Cameron into the conference room.

“How did it go?” Kirsten asked.

“She took it pretty well, I think,” Cameron said.

“No, dude. She’s furious,” Camille chimed in. The three of them looked towards Maggie, whose facial expression was cold and unreadable.

“Definitely furious,” Kirsten agreed.

“Yup. I’m a dead man,” Cameron nodded.

****************************

Another case solved. More mind-mapping. And Kirsten and Cameron had barely talked since he first told her about the job opening. But with a day off and the weekend approaching, they finally had time to breathe and to be.  The rest of the team made their way toward the elevator, but Cameron and Kirsten hung back.

As the elevator doors sealed shut, Kirsten joined Cameron at his desk and said, “Nice work out there.”

“You too, Stretch.”

Kirsten smiled at the nickname. “You know, it’s not going to be the same here without you.”

“Don’t worry. Harry’s excellent. It’ll be like I never left,” Cameron reassured her.

“I’m not worried about the program. I’m just…going…to…miss you,” Kirsten finally forced out, her face unreadable.

“I’ll miss you too.” Cameron reached over, covering her hand with his, and gave it a tight squeeze. Kirsten opened her mouth as if to say something, but before she could get it out, the elevator dinged open and Linus came running back into the lab. Cameron and Kirsten both jerked their hands away, but not before he clocked their connection.

“Oh, hey guys. Don’t mind me. Forgot my replica Star Wars jacket,” Linus explained as he speed-walked across the lab to his workstation.

“We were actually just heading out,” Kirsten said, standing.

“Ahem, yeah,” Cameron echoed.

“Oh cool. Can you give me a ride then?” Linus asked Cameron.

“Sure.”

****************************

On the ride up to ground level, Kirsten turned to Cameron and said, “I’m really happy you’re going and living your dream. This is going to be perfect for you!”

“Pretty much perfect.” Cameron smiled at Kirsten.

Kirsten flashed him a bright grin and said, “Bye Cameron, bye Linus. See you next week.”

On the drive home, Cameron was unusually quiet. He barely reacted when Linus began rambling about Doctor Who. Linus stopped mid-sentence and said, “What’s wrong?”

Cameron let out a long sigh. “Nothing.”

“Well that definitely wasn’t convincing,” Linus said. “Spill it.”

“Everything’s good. Kirsten’s been really supportive of me getting this job,” Cameron said.

“She will miss you. We all will,” Linus said.

“I just thought there was maybe something between us,” Cameron finally admitted.

“We all did.”

“What?” Cameron turned to Linus.

“Nothing.”

“Linus.”

“It’s not like your feelings were a secret. This whole move though did put a wrench in our pool. I lost five hundred dollars,” Linus said.

“You made bets on us getting together?!” Cameron cried.

“It seemed inevitable,” Linus shrugged. “Guess I was wrong. Sorry, Cameron.”

“Me too.” Cameron and Linus fell into a contemplative silence.

“I made the right decision, right?” Cameron asked after a minute.

“Are you excited about the job?” Linus asked.

“Ecstatic.”

“Then, yes. You did.”                                                                                              

****************************

Kirsten climbed into the fish tank. Alex prepared the body in the corpse cassette. Linus double-checked the mind-mapping of the sample. Cameron stood at the helm, showing Harry the ropes.

“You want to call it?” Cameron asked Harry after everyone was ready.

“Sure,” Harry said, taking the earpiece from Cameron.

“Engineering?”

“Go.”

“Life-Sci?”

“Go.”

“Medical?”

“Go.”

“Communications?”

“Go.”

“Kirsten?”

Kirsten’s eyes flashed open at the use of her name rather than a nickname.

“Kirsten?” Harry asked again.

“Go.”

“Commence Stitch Neurosync on my count. Three, two, Stitch!” Harry shouted enthusiastically. Everyone manned their stations as Harry navigated Kirsten through the sample’s memories. “Do you see anything, Kirsten?”

“Of course, I do,” she practically snapped.

“Great! Tell us what you discover whenever you’re ready.”

“I always do.”

 After the stitch, Cameron pulled Kirsten aside. “What’s your problem?”

“Nothing.”

“Harry’s excellent.”

“Yeah, sure.” Kirsten’s sarcasm was obvious.

“He is qualified, kind, and everyone else likes him. So you’re just going to have to get used to him, cupcake.” This time it wasn’t the term of endearment it usually was but an insult. Cameron stormed off, not giving Kirsten time to respond.  

****************************

“I can’t believe we just worked our last case together,” Kirsten said as she helped Cameron finish the paperwork on their latest case, the air still a little tense from their fight earlier in the week.

“I know right?!”

“We need to have a going away party,” Kirsten said.

Just then, Camille walked by and said, “Oh, Linus and I already have that covered. Be here at five tomorrow evening.” Camille turned to Kirsten, “And don’t dress how you normally dress. Dress more like me. In fact, just pull something out of my closet.” Camille continued walking towards the elevator.

“Alright, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at five,” Kirsten said before following Camille. “Hold the door!” She called.

When Cameron walked off the elevator at five the next evening, the entire Stitch lab had been transformed. The emergency lights flashed, and the other lights were dimmed. A hand-painted banner was draped over the corpse cassette, reading “Good Luck Cameron!!!” Streamers hung from the ceiling, and a huge cake lay on the table in the conference room. The team cheered as he entered the lab.

“Congrats Cameron!”

“Thanks, guys!”

Camille popped the champagne and began filling flute glasses and passing them around to everyone. Harry cut the cake and brought slices out to everyone. When he presented one to Kirsten, she said, “No, thanks. I’m not big on chocolate.”

Cameron looked at her but said nothing and took the cake from Harry. “Thanks, man.”

“You’re welcome,” Harry said. He lingered with them, awkwardness building.

“So-“ Kirsten began. 

“I think I’m gonna go,” Harry said at the same time.

“Right,” Kirsten said.

Harry turned abruptly and walked away.

“K-“ Cameron began.

“I know,” Kirsten said before walking away. Cameron walked over to his now empty desk and sat on the edge. Linus and Camille came and sat beside him.

Camille raised her glass and said, “Here’s to new places and new adventures. Here’s to Cameron.”

Linus and Cameron dinked their glasses with Camille, and Linus said, “To Cameron, forever my bro.”  They each took a sip, and moments later Kirsten returned and joined them around his desk. She had a slice of chocolate cake in her hand. Cameron looked from Kirsten’s face down to the cake and back up again. He raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Kirsten avoided his gaze, knowingly.

“Who wants to do shots?” Kirsten asked, filling the silence.

“Literally always,” Camille cheered, setting down her empty champagne glass.

“Shots! Shots! Shots!” Linus cheered.

“Come with me,” Camille said, grabbing Kirsten by the arm and dragging her towards the breakroom. They returned with shot glasses and expensive tequila. Camille poured the tequila into the glasses, grabbed one, and took a shot. Kirsten, Cameron, and Linus all followed suit.

Five, six, seven shots later, they were all sitting down, backs pressed against the concrete wall. “Alright Kirsten. Truth or dare?” Cameron asked.

“Truth.” Kirsten took another shot.

“Do you miss Liam?”

“No.”

Cameron looked away from the group to hide the smile he unsuccessfully tried to suppress.

“Camille?” Kirsten asked.

“Dare. Of course,” Camille answered. 

“Okay, I dare you to kiss someone you’ve never kissed before,” Kirsten said.

“What are we? Twelve?” Camille asked. Kirsten simply raised her eyebrows, waiting. Camille leaned over Linus and gently kissed Cameron on the cheek. “I’m going to miss you, Goodkin.”

Everyone stared at her, surprised and sobered by the reminder of Cameron’s leaving.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be right back,” Kirsten said. She stood and made a beeline to the bathroom.

“I’ll go check on her,” Camille said before following Kirsten.

Kirsten was splashing her face with cold water when Camille entered the bathroom.

“You okay?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Kirsten answered. She grabbed a handful of paper towels and rubbed her face dry.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Camille asked.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“He’s about to leave.”

“That’s exactly why you should tell him.”

“It’s too late.”

“It’s not too late until he’s on that plane.” Camille slung an arm around Kirsten’s shoulders. “Come on. You need one more round of truth or dare.”

Kirsten smiled as she let Camille lead her out of the bathroom, but when they made their way over to where they had been sitting, Cameron and Linus were gone. Camille and Kirsten looked around the lab but couldn’t find either one of them. Camille walked over to Fisher and asked, “Where’s Cameron?”

“He left just a few minutes ago.”

Camille stared at him.

“For the airport.”

Camille still didn’t respond.

“His flight leaves in an hour,” Fisher said. “Camille!”

She finally snapped out of her shock and grabbed Kirsten by the arm, dragging her to the elevator. “Thanks, Fishy!” She called over her shoulder.

****************************

Camille sped down the freeway. Kirsten sat in the passenger seat, the phone pressed to her ear.

“He’s not answering.”

“Try again.”

“What if he doesn’t pick up?”

“We’ll figure it out. Just keep trying.”

****************************

Cameron paced at the gate, waiting to board the plane.

Did I make the right decision?

“I think it’s really great Cameron. You should go for it.”

Yes.

“I’m just…going…to…miss you.”

No.

“You should go for it.”

Yes.

“Going to miss you.”

No.

“Go.”

Yes.

“Miss you.”

No.

The only thing that broke Cameron out of his trance was hearing his name over the loudspeaker. “A call for Dr. Goodkin! A call for Dr. Goodkin!” The gate agent kept repeating.

“That’s me,” Cameron said, rushing up to the counter and flashing his ID. The agent motioned to him, and he stepped around the counter and took the phone from the agent.

“Cameron!” Kirsten practically screamed through the receiver.

“Stretch, is everything okay?” His brow furrowed and the concern was evident in his voice.

“No!” Kirsten practically sobbed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Turn around.”

“What?”

“Turn around.” 

Cameron turned and there stood Kirsten, phone pressed to her ear, tears streaming down her face. Cameron rushed over to her and cradled her face in his hands.

“Kirsten, what’s going on-“ Cameron began.

Kirsten cut him off before he could finish, saying all in one breath, “Iloveyou.”

“What?”

“I love you.” Tears continued to flow down Kirsten’s cheeks, and tears sprang to Cameron’s eyes as well.

“I love you too,” he all but whispered before kissing her gently on the lips. When they kissed, everyone at the gate cheered, clapped, and hollered. They broke apart, laughing at the response. Kirsten smiled sheepishly, but Cameron beamed.

“Come on, Stretch. Let’s get out of here,” Cameron took Kirsten’s hand in his and lead her towards the exit.

“You’re really staying here for me?”

“For us,” Cameron kissed Kirsten again and they both smiled as they walked into the crowd.