#Overall a 10/10 for me do highly recommend

[that-birdy-chick]

To all fellow podcasts fans, if you're a fan of Red Valley and horror-sci-fi with a twinge of great comedy than I highly recommend you check out Down.

It's only 24 short episodes and I promise you it's amazing!

It has flawed characters that quickly really grew on me, gripping writing and a perfect balance between the horrors™ of the deep sea and hilarious moments to ever so slightly lift the tension and feelings of dread when it needs to.

Also the voice acting is fantastic and the sound design is great too.

So please please check it out! It deserves all the love and more people to appreciate it!

[visualbutterflysworld]

Sleeping with Vinnie | Vhackerr

NO THIS IS NOT A SMUT! YA NASTYS ! here’s how I imagine actually sleeping with vinnie is like. Sorry for the lack of posts :P

Vinnie is the big spoon at first but somehow in the middle of the night he becomes the little spoon

I don’t think Vinnie snores tbh but he definitely drools. He sleeps with his mouth open and sometimes if he’s napping real hard you put random food in his mouth and take pictures

“Y/N! WHY IS THERE A PHOTO OF ME SLEEPING WITH GUMMY WORMS IN MY MOUTH!?!”

When you guys are in a deep sleep you put one of your legs on him unintentionally. Sometimes he wakes up and has to move your leg bc it’s crushing his…yk.

Sometimes when you guys wake up Hera is in the middle between you guys

If you have a lot of hair and don’t wrap it(or forget to) then sometimes your hair gets in vinnie’s face. He’ll wake up doing that thing from white chicks when Marcus gets the wig in his face

When you guys fight and you kick vinnie out of the bedroom he magically somehow gets in and still cuddles with you. Sometimes you think you’re tripping and you didn’t fight the night before but you did.

His response is that he can’t sleep without you which instantly makes you melt.

Overall, sleeping with vinnie is amazing. 10/10. Highly recommended

[mono-blogs-art]

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko - The Lesbian Office RomCom You Needed

Blatant flirting, hilarious misunderstandings, and lesbian shenanigans aplenty - this show is funny, over-dramatic, and most of all gay as hell. Here's my review! Spoiler-free version first, and a more detailed spoiler-y version under the cut. I hope you enjoy!

A quick summary: Overall: 9/10, you should absolutely watch this! Genre: RomCom, with some serious elements and a heartfelt exploration of sexuality Watch if you are looking for... : A silly and fun time, a happy ending, misunderstandings, and character development. Highly recommended to watch this with your partner(s) or your sapphic friends! Watch out for... : Although the tone of the show is mostly comedic, it contains discussion & depiction of homophobia at the workplace and past trauma relating to that Where to watch: Official TL on GagaOOLala, or Fansubs by @furritsubs (highly recommended!)

"Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko" (Ayaka-chan wa Hiroko-senpai ni Koishiteru) is a Jdrama adaption of a manga by the same title. The series premiered this year July 2024 and has wrapped up a short while ago, with a total runtime of 8 episodes of 24 minutes each.

The title of the show already says all; the plot is simple: Junior staff member Ayaka is head-over-heels for Hiroko, her senior at the company she works at. And she has decided to go on the offensive.

There are many obstacles in Ayaka's way: first of all, Hiroko is 13 years older than her (they are 23 and 36), and her superior at the workplace. Hiroko is beloved by both her superiors as well as her staff, so Ayaka's love for her is just one of many. And no matter how blatantly she ups her advances (and girl, she is BOLD), Hiroko is 100% convinced that all the flirting is just misplaced, straight-woman obliviousness.

The irony of it all is that Ayaka is absolutely barking up the right tree, because Hiroko is a lesbian, but has been firmly in the closet at work - something that she has no plans on changing. Her professional life and her personal must stay completely separate, at all cost. The only place she can truly be herself is the lesbian bar she's been a regular at for years.

^ Me when I'm a lesbian disaster doing insane mental gymnastics

However, "giving up" is not in Ayaka's vocabulary. As her seduction attempts keep escalating and being misunderstood, Hiroko's hard exterior begins to crumble bit by bit. Can Hiroko finally overcome her rigid ways, and let herself fall for someone?

Although the show is first and foremost a comedy, both Ayaka and Hiroko as characters are handled really well. They have their own problems, insecurities, reservations about the other, and both have a simple but great arc over the course of the series. Ayaka is discovering her sexuality, something she had never even considered before falling for Hiroko. What does being in love with a woman mean for her future? And Hiroko, who is already very confident in her sexuality, is confronted by her past trauma, and the fact that she's still not ready to come out despite the changing times. And while being undercover has saved her career in the past, it has also made her feel alone and isolated. She likes Ayaka back, but can't allow her true colors to show.

Something that I find very hard to achieve with comedy shows is the switch between funny and serious, and I think that Ayahiro manages this very well. Both of our main characters feel grounded enough in reality that when they get emotional, it feels relatable and sincere. For a silly show like this, striking a balance like that is crucial, and save for a few pacing issues in the later half of the show (that I honestly didn't mind at all), I think the show totally nails it. Ayahiro is not a realistic show, but it contains elements of reality that made me connect to it, despite all the insane shenanigans that go on. And because of that the show made me laugh and cry as much as it did, often in the same episode. It works, and Kudos to the writers (and actors!) for that.

Speaking of actors, one thing I must mention is that the show is very well made. The actors (especially Mori Kanna as Hiroko is the standout for me, she has a natural charisma and gay swagger) do a fantastic job, the leads' chemistry is great. The production overall has some real money behind it, with lots of changing sets that all look great and have been crafted with care. Ayaka's outfits are absolute KILLER, she is giving insane femme energy. The show also looks very pretty, the color graders turn that saturation up to 100 and it fits Ayaka's rose-tinted world well.

That's it for the spoiler-less part, I'll now get into specific characters and plot points with full spoilers up to the end of the series under the cut. If you don't want to get spoiled, I hope the review until now made you want to watch the show for yourself! I hope you enjoy!

First of all I need to disclaim that I have not read the original manga that she show is based on, so I can't compare the series to its original and how the plot is written there. I do intend to read it (I hope it gets localized to German so I can support the official release, but I might check out the English Official TL anyway before that) but for now, I will only judge the series as is.

Ayaka: Our protagonist is a femme fatale, in... another meaning of the word, I guess. She is a disaster, bad at pretty much everything she does except not giving up. Once she has set her mind to something, she will get it done. That leads her to often be inconsiderate and unable to see what others around her are feeling, which goes mostly for her best friend Risa, but also for Hiroko, whose feelings she also fails to consider even when pursuing her. Ayaka has to learn the hard way that her naivete is hurting others, and herself. She hasn't really thought her advances through, simply acting on instinct. But as the series goes on, she takes her feelings and her newly discovered sexuality seriously, and grows comfortable with calling herself a lesbian. She is also unashamedly horny, like, Oh My God, this girl is trying to get laid so bad. This is hilarious and refreshing to see, and although her seduction attempts are often played as comedic, it doesn't feel like she is being ridiculed for her sexuality by the show. Ayaka often crosses boundaries (physical and emotional) with Hiroko, both out of naivite and in deliberate attempts to seduce her. To me this was never truly infuriating, even though sometimes she really did go too far, but for me it always kept in tone with the comedy of the show. Even when Ayaka finally comes out in front of the entire office, she makes it clear that she doesn't want Hiroko to do the same if she's not ready.

Hiroko: Our deuteragonist is probably my favourite character in the show, and I think she's very relatable and well done. As an older lesbian, she's got plenty of experience, having even earned the title of "The Ace" in her lesbian friend circle for being a talented womanizer. But a traumatic experience of losing her last partner due to being found out at the workplace has changed her. She's afraid to get attached, she's unable to let people get close to her true self. So when Ayaka is fighting tooth and nail to get to her, Hiroko is caught in conflict between her feelings of attraction and her past trauma. She does everything in her power to dismiss Ayaka's advances to protect herself, and later when she learns that Ayaka is in fact not straight (duh), she still turns her down to protect Ayaka's (and her own) career. Hiroko is a bit of a conservative - something she's also called out for in her lesbian friend circle - she believes that coming out at work is impossible and irresponsible. And you know, I get it. Not only does she have personal bad experiences with exactly that, it's also not unreasonable to think it would be a bad idea to hook up with your junior of 13 years. Like, I get it girl. Hiroko is clearly attracted to Ayaka, not just physically but also emotionally, because Ayaka is everything Hiroko wants to be but can't. And that leads to Hiroko constantly underestimating Ayaka, even treating her like a child. She thinks Ayaka is not really thinking the gravity of her actions through, and she gets called out for that and has to overcome it. In the end, Hiroko ends up being a character that needs time, and needs to unlearn a whole bunch of shitty behaviour, something the show clearly also shows is being worked on and that Ayaka also respects (more on that later).

Risa: Easily the character I struggled with the most, Ayaka's best friend Risa is complicated. She's very observant but also shy, and secretly harbors a crush on Ayaka. Quietly struggling with her sexuality, she only decides to come out when she realises that Ayaka's feelings for Hiroko are serious. Oh, it's messy! She confesses to Ayaka, who in turn has to struggle with her feelings for someone else, but also not wanting to lose her closest confidant. And to her credit, Risa takes the rejection quite gracefully and continues to support Ayaka in her pursuit of Hiroko. However, Risa also outs Hiroko against her will to Ayaka, which... is just a shitty thing to do, even though she just wanted to help her friend. Good motive, still murder. After the conflict between Ayaka and Risa is resolved, Risa just kind of... is around, quietly worrying in her corner and kind of (in my opinion) overstepping her boundaries with Hiroko. I don't dislike Risa, but I thought her character was not done super well in parts, and although I understand the complicated situation she herself is in, the show doesn't really let her grow as much as the other characters. Anyway, good for her for bagging the hottest chick at the lesbian bar, though. Good for her!

The "break-up": The story's conflict comes to a peak when Hiroko finally realises there is only one way to shut this all down. She needs to fulfill Ayaka's desire, and then turn her down, once and for all. But Hiroko at this point still thinks Ayaka is immature and hasn't really thought her actions through. Ayaka sheepishly asks for a kiss, so Hiroko kisses her. "Now you've achieved everything you wanted." We're done, you can give up on me and this childish crush you have on me. And most importantly, I can let you go, too. Not realising that Ayaka wants much more. She wants a real relationship, she wants the kiss, sex, real emotions, she wants to see Hiroko's true self too. She wants a partnership.

The Finale: With the encouragement of her peers, Ayaka finds the courage to express her feelings to Hiroko one last time. And she finds just the right words to finally get through to her. Hiroko realises how much of an ass she's been all this time, how she ended up hurting the girl she loves and herself by denying herself happiness. This whole scene was so well done (Kudos to Kato Shiho as Ayaka, this is probably her best scene in the entire show), brother I cried so hard. And finally Hiroko can say what she should have a long time ago: "I'm sorry."

One year later: In the show's worst case of bad pacing, we immediately cut from their tearful reunion to "one year later", lol. I don't mind the sudden jump too much, but maybe a bit of a slower fade-out would have softened the blow, because I think a few people probably found this very jarring xD not too bad for me. I was actually positively surprised that we actually get to see the aftermath, see how their relationship has developed a year into it.

I've seen a few people complain about this "no-sex scene" (lol) and I just want to add my two cents. I actually really like how this scene played out, for two reasons. Reason 1 is that it's just very much in-character for Hiroko. We've seen her struggle back-and-forth with the intimacy Ayaka wanted from her for the past 7.5 episodes, and her own internalised homophobia and constant fear of "crossing the line". She's a traumatized person, and it makes total sense to me that even one year into the relationship, she's still struggling with sexual intimacy. Sure, a whole year is a long time not having sex with your partner (even though you both clearly wanted to from day 1) but like... it makes sense for Hiroko. She's still working through the past 10+ years of repression. I do understand how this scene can be interpreted as "the show is afraid to show them being horny and sexy together, they're cowards for making Hiroko so obsessed with Ayaka's "purity" etc" and like, yes, that is a totally valid interpretation, but IMO also a quite bad faith one.

"I'm happy to know you feel that way. Which is why, could you please wait a little more, just until I sort my feelings out?" "What?" "I want to cherish you, Ayaka." "Right." "I'm sorry for everything, Ayaka." "For everything?" "In the end, it seems like I still haven't came out yet. I understand that I'm making you endure something when you don't have to. But… I do want to be with you, and I want to keep my job. I'm really sorry for making you put up with my selfishness."

^ Like, that is the conversation that follows. It's not just about sex for Hiroko, that kind of intimacy holds a deeper meaning to her and she's just not ready for it yet, and trying to sincerely tell her partner that. And when Ayaka reaffirms her willingness to be patient in this scene and is respectful of Hiroko's choice, Hiroko realizes that she's being a stupid coward, and finally makes a decision...

... to come out in front of the whole office, who's been gossiping about their relationship the whole year anyway.

And that is the end of the show!

So really, Hiroko did manage to overcome her fears in the end, and it took her a whole year into a healthy relationship to do so. And I think that is honestly much more realistic than some people would like to believe. Is the smooch in front of the whole office silly and cheesy and over-dramatic? Of course, but that's the entire show so far. And if you think that kiss-and-dip is dumb then I can't help you, I think you just don't like fun.

Oh yeah, and my reason 2 why I thought that no-sex scene was done well is because it's just funny. Ayaka has been DTF since minute 1 of the show, and her still being unable to get it this far into it is just funny. I would have loved a little nod to them finally getting down at the very, very end, but eh, I can live with it like this. They've conquered the emotional hurdles, I'm certain they will cross that other bridge when they get there on their own time.

Conclusion: "Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko" is a great and incredibly funny lesbian show that touched me emotionally much more than I thought it would. It made me cry several times, the production and acting quality positively surprised me, and honestly deserves my Nr 2 spot of favourite Lesbian JDrama after Tsukutabe (which is a 10/10 show) for now. I really hope this type of show gets imitators, adapting relatively short stories into mini-series with great quality. I appreciate the more adult tone of this series, its shameless comedy while still being able to hit serious beats with real emotion. From what I've seen of the BTS, the actors and staff also handled the subject matter with respect and care and had a lot of fun making the show. I don't think a season 2 is needed, but I do hope that the series can inspire more similar works. I love Ayaka and Hiroko, and I'm so happy they got their happy ending, and by God, I hope they have the best sex ever in their beautiful lesbian future. God bless.

That's it from me, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this show as much as I did! Hopefully see you soon!

[ruruvxz]

“10:36”

Girlfriend!Kim Minji x Cheater!Reader

ft. Marsh Danielle

↳ synopsis: L/N Y/N, named one of the sweetest girl in the planet finally rots her girlfriend’s heart. Any sane person would feel sad, maybe even a little regretful and accommodating for all their wrong doings. Not Y/N though, she's kept it in for a long time, her heart has gone bitter and cold, and she knows what she’s doing is wrong, but who can blame such a sweetly wretched heart.

↳ cw: cheating, commitment issues, morally gray reader, codependency, Minji is lovesick and blind, hurt no comfort, reader has implied chronic depression, victim blaming, swearing, pure angst

↳ word count: 4.6k

a/n: read this Karina fic where she kept cheating on me… which gave me an striking idea, mentally ill, unapologetic, rude and overall not a good person, Reader! anyways you don’t need to listen to 10:36 but I highly recommend listening to it since it’s such a great song. And yes I am personally beefing with Y/N even if I wrote them (fluff ver. apple cider)

Your eyes looming to the TV, not paying attention to whatever was playing. I mean you couldn't concentrate due to your phone blowing up, notification after notification of all your failed hookups barking at your phone like a rabid pack of dogs. God, do people know when to shut up nowadays? It was aggravating how much they pleaded for closure, and who were they to demand that from you? You're the sweet innocent Y/N L/N after all.

Before you even got to text them back some bullshit excuse your eyes darted to the front from the sudden click. You carefully examined the door pushing it open at an agonizingly slow pace, sighing as your eyes met Minji's as she slid her way inside, her eyes bagging with how deeply exhausted she was. She meets your blank stare with a meek smile, pushing down any emotions built inside of you after your recent rendezvous with another lover, you put on your best fictitious grin.

"Baby!" You cheered, getting up from the leather couch, the same one Minji gifted you when you both first moved in with one another. Quickening your pace as you ran towards her, wrapping your arms around her neck, Minji was left letting out a coy smile before kissing your cheek. Usually, she would be greeted by another empty living room with the kitchen light dimly lighting the surrounding vicinity, it was depressing but she had a 9/5 and you took the night shift. (Or that's what you would tell her.)

Needless to say, seeing your bright smile was more than pleasant, her overworked eyes lightening up as you continued to hug her. "Ah, bug, you're still here?" She smiled hugging you tighter, grasping you almost as if you were to disappear at any moment in time. As you both stand in each other's embrace your mind couldn't help but let your mind drift to someone else.

"Fuck, I wish Danielle was here with me..."

You knew how terrible it was to imagine someone else's grasp, especially since you were imagining your girlfriend's best friend of all people... And to be frank, there was no other valid explanation for feeling this way. But you felt so devoid of any strong emotion, it truly made you feel disgusted with yourself but what could you do?

Minji softly grabbed a piece of your hair to stroke before you eventually led her over to the couch to spend some quality time with her. I mean, that's the least you could do after what you went off doing while she wasn't home.

Danielle messaged you late last night wondering if she could plan an outing for the next day, and you (not-so) hesitantly agreed to her offer. It was a terrible thing to do since you've already learned about her immature crush on you, but it wouldn't lead to anything, right? Nevertheless, you still decided to get lunch together, and she brought you to your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant. (Not exactly, in reality, it was something you despised because it was the only restaurant Minji would bring you time and time again. Danielle, and many others, were under the assumption it was somewhere you LOVED going to. And who could blame them, you would always post photos promoting the establishment whilst hiding out Minji from any photo.)

It was a fusion restaurant, but the overall atmosphere was an American-style family diner. The ones you'd see in 80's sitcoms that Minji begged you to watch with you, it was tacky, but they stayed engraved in your head. Danielle would drag you to the table nearest to the window to get the clearest view of the sky, but you'd much rather sit in the booth in the corner, hidden away from the world. Of course, of how accommodating Danielle was she gave in to your request, despite that hiccup the day "outing" continued as scheduled. Eating her meal she ordered claims that the burgers are "The best she's ever had since moving from Australia" but in reality, you think it's nothing special.

You ordered the same thing you usually do, carnitas tacos messily plated on a plastic dish, it usually tasted so bland though somehow sharing it with her tasted so much better than eating it with anyone else. You hated to admit it because you already had someone waiting for you at home but she made the world stop for a bit, made staying still for a moment seem so... bearable. For once in your pathetic existence you felt like you understood something and just wanted to sit down and talk.

"Mmm, Y/N—it's really good!" Danielle spoke up, parts of her burger decorated the corners of her face as she munched. Laughing at her childlike behavior you wipe the excess crumbs off her mouth, noticing her slight blush plaster across her face as you pull back to speak.

"Mhm?" You replied turned off your phone and flipped it over on the table giving her your full attention. Her voice was just too adorable to ignore. You knew you found yourself despicable for giving her more attention than you had given Minji for the past few months. But you couldn't stop yourself, it was so lonely and you just needed a warm body to hold, just until your girlfriend could come back to you.

She nodded her head hurriedly before shoving another fry into her mouth before she spoke once more. "Yup!! Look open your mouth" She'd pick up the fries and line it up up to your mouth, cautiously leaving your mouth agape before she shoved the fries into your mouth. It surprised you how fast she inserted it into your mouth you started aggressively coughing before she apologized profusely.

After your little outbreak, you start laughing uncontrollably at how concerned she looked, she whacked your head from the other side of the table while you continued to laugh. But you didn't have the heart to tell her that the fries she force-fed you tasted like generic McDonald's fries but, with that face, could you say anything? Danielle looked so captivating, an allure you hadn't felt in months, and before you knew it it was already 8:14. Minji comes back at 9 and you shouldn't risk coming home late AGAIN.

"Ah, I'm so sorry Dani, it's already so late, I need to be home at 9." You commented cutting her story off short about how she met up with a coworker of hers during some mindless shopping spree. She looked understanding but disappointed nevertheless as she was hoping she could spend more time with you even if it was in this cramped restaurant.

You looked into her eyes once more before getting up to take your leave, she looked stumped but quickly regained her composure as an idea flashed across her mind. "Okay! I'll drop you off at the train station then!" She stood up and let her hand out for you to grab. Once you stood up she interlocked your fingers together, your heart beating out of your chest as she did. What person would react like this to a friend, let alone someone who was in a relationship, but god were you one sick bastard to reason with yourself? You knew you'd done worse with others so why was this any different?

After minutes of slow walking and talking mindlessly with one another you finally arrived at the station, it was a tad disappointing but you knew it had to end soon. Climbing up the stairs your hands continued to lock in with one another, you felt her suddenly yank away. Turning back to see what happened you noticed one of her heels came off, but coincidentally your train just arrived.

"Oh Y/N go on, I'll get on the other one, it's just another 10 minutes!" She defensively said. Instead of listening to her you ran down the stairs and grabbed her heels, even if you were struggling a little bit to get back up you were happy to help her. You handed her back her heel as you heard the train plow through once more, the screeching metal tracks lingering as it drove off.

Danielle looked down at you as you handed her the heel with a worried face, she looked so bothered but you reassured her. "Even if the train leaves, it's worth it, it's worth waiting for you" You smiled before grabbing her hand once more and dragging her back up to the platform, the light-dark enough to cover her red face.

"Y/N" She laughed as she dropped her bag and hugged you tightly, her embrace was soft and loving you didn't want to leave it. (Nor do you deserve such an affectionate interaction.) You broke the hug before she led you to a, presumably empty, seating area, the sunlight dropping and sinking. While you sat there together Danielle was content sitting down with you in complete silence as it meant being by your side.

"I'm sorry for making you wait." She sighed awkwardly trying to break the silence you created, her body immediately straightened as you rested your head on her shoulder. Her breath hitched as you grabbed her warm hands, the nightfall being significantly colder.

"It's fine that we have to wait, I love you." You trailed off, your mind not proceeding with the bullshit you slurred out of your mouth. It was a force of habit, no matter if it was Danielle or Minji, those stupid strings of words haunted your every moment. (Maybe if you were a little cautious, if you learned to shut your mouth maybe you wouldn't have to be calling people at night while Minji was in deep sleep, explaining in slurred words "I have this thing where I— I can't be by myself— but look...")

The memory of what you accidentally slipped up to Danielle came back to haunt you, why would you ever say that, but regardless you couldn't break your facade now, not with Minji resting quietly on your lap. "How was your day love" You twirled her hair as she dozed off by your touch, she was so soft and delicate. It reminded you of how she'd do the same after a long day, her hands caressing your head like a dog. She was silent but that's who she was. As you ran your hand through her jet-black hair, you were all over he, losing yourself, all before she snapped you out of your daze to speak. "It was okay, but great now that you're with me." She smiled underneath you, she reached her hand above to your face to caress your mellow cheeks, and your heart ached as she did so.

"How was yours, my dear?" She lifted her head dragging you a bit down to intertwine your lips tenderly, as she pulled back and laid back down on your thighs you felt your teeth sink into your lips. It was a force of habit but thank god she hadn't noticed as her head was locked into the TV, you felt yourself about to throw up at the idea of telling her what you did. As usual, you tried to play off what happened this afternoon like nothing happened.

Your hands shook as you continued to play with her hair wondering what lies you would spit through your teeth. "Mmm, nothing much I hung out with some friends then went back home to wait for my wonderful girlfriend." You beamed smiling hopelessly to not break the persons you've created.

"Friends, who? I'd love to meet them." She chuckled, turning her head back to meet your gaze, your hands slowly lifting up and away from her head. You rested them on the armrest, coughing at the thought of her finding you were out and about with her best friends who she didn't even know you talked to.

"Just Dani! She's asked me if she wanted to get lunch with her." You answered honestly, if you hadn't you knew you'd just dig yourself a deeper hole and lead to another heated argument, where you'd end up running off to sleep the night somewhere else.

"Oh." She scoffed, the realization of her best friend and her girlfriend being closer than she'd expected hurt her feelings a little more than it originally should've.

"What's wrong with that." You bite back, annoyed about how sassy she was becoming day by day, as if you were doing something— someone, she wasn't aware of.

"It's just... didn't know you were close with her like that." She raised her body from my lap and sat properly looking me in the eye, clearly annoyed by the situation. (To be fair, as hard as you tried to be sneaky with your late-night affairs, by claiming you had a night shift, she picked up on your inconsistencies fairly quickly. How you'd leave either before she arrived or after she slept became more and more oddly suspicious. Or how you'd often slip your phone away to your back pocket whenever she came closer to you. It was all messing with her brain and the sudden "connection" you had with Danielle made her more and more suspicious.)

"I guess but isn't, Dani—Danielle one of your closest friends, yet you talk shit like this about her?" You retorted, trying to hide your offense terribly at her statement, of course, she didn't mean any harm with what she said but it felt as if she was insinuating something. Something you didn't like. You took off your gaze from hers as you rested your head on your palm and raised the volume of the TV to drown her out.

Rightfully annoyed at your reaction she raised her voice just a little bit. "Well sorry, I'm sorry I feel uncomfortable by the fact you chose to get lunch with my friend, instead of your girlfriend!" She rolled her eyes and folded her arms, her frustration was enough to cause global warming. You bite your tongue once more, you didn't want to say anything you regretted but you couldn't just let her take a jab at you without any conviction.

"I mean, she didn't do anything to you? Yet you're being so aggressive." You replied as you grabbed the remote with your free hand to skim through the channels, every new show being broadcast made you even more aggravated. How could there be nothing good showing? You mashed the next button again and again as you heard her open her mouth once more.

"That's not what I meant it's just, for the past few months you've cared about going out with me? Sorry for feeling like that's so terrible!" She scorned as you still didn't pay any attention to her, continuing to skim through the shows on air today. You pushed your tongue to the inside corner of your cheek before you asserted another retort.

"Maybe if you weren't always so defensive and angry I would hang out with you" You laugh sarcastically under your breath annoyed, and you finally landed on Law & Order. It was Minji's comfort show but you couldn't care less about what she liked right now, all you wanted her to do was pipe down and calm down. She clenched her jaw at how dismissive and disrespectful you were, the fact you weren't even looking at Minji added more salt to the wounds.

She grabbed your shoulder yanking you hard enough to look at her, you paid her one single glance before swatting her hand away from my shoulder. She looked dumbfounded, as for the first time in her life she finally raised her voice, this time with real intention to get off on you. "What the fuck— Y/N! What is up with you recently??"

Oh, she's testing you right now, your blood pressure has risen significantly and you felt it harder to focus on what they were saying in the show. Finally giving in you pushed your head to lock into her enraged state. "You know what's fucking 'up with me' it's your attitude? I can't even hang out with my friends anymore?"

Minji was most definitely fed up at this point as she stared back at you, clenching her fist, stopping her from saying something atrocious. "Oh no you DEFINITELY can, you know what you can't do? Fucking leave your girlfriend in the middle of the night saying you have a night shift and leave me alone in our bed!" She spat out as she stood up trying to get that notion into your thick skull.

"I'd rather be in someone else's embrace than be with yours! FUCK, you're so fucking suffocating!" You shouted back, quickly regretting what you said, realizing a little too late that you had released a bit more information than you were trying to let on. But before you could take it back and apologize she was already standing over you, her hands covering her mouth.

Minji’s jaw unclenched, processing every word that came out of your mouth. "What." Her voice sounded shaky, she tried her hardest to sound stern but you knew her long enough to know it was just a facade. Her face turned into someone who had just been told their loved one died, completely and utterly in disbelief.

It hurt seeing Minji so hurt, but it felt so good to get that out of your chest, she's been suffocating you for a year now, she should know where you’re coming from. Honestly, you hadn’t planned on staying for fairly long but after moving in with her it became harder to leave. "Fuck. It’s just—" You stopped before continuing “I wanna love you but I'm scared so I rather pretend”  You stood up and turned your body away from her, you didn't want to look at her at all. If you did, maybe you’d just run back by her side and then the cycle continues once more.

She covered her face between her palms, and looked up at the ceiling, just praying she'd wake up from this sick and twisted dream. "Y/N, please tell me. Are you?" She mumbled underneath her hands, but enough for me to tell what she said.

"Am I, what? Am I cheating on you?" You turned back at her with a disgusted face, not at her, but at yourself, you couldn’t fathom how you’d do something like this. After all, you experienced the same thing. You felt sick to your stomach but you knew she should already puzzle the answer together, yet she's still trying to ask.

"Just answer the fucking question" Her voice bubbling up with rage, after all the years of committing herself to you, you turn your back and do this? Oh how badly she wanted to make your life miserable after this. But a part of her didn't want to ask this question, she wanted, somehow, someway, you would turn a full 180 and tell her this was all some sick twisted joke.

“Fuck you Y/N… truly, fuck you— you kept me like a secret but I kept you like a fucking oath.” She spat out, grabbing out to you, the weight of your actions felt like a knife digging itself deeper into your heart. You were too cowardly to look at her, let alone answer her question. For someone so confident about cheating on her, you know stood in front of her unwilling to face the consequences.

"I—“ You cut yourself off, you did feel awful as you stared into her fiery gaze, but what was the point she already knew? "I’m so sorry.” You blurted out, it honestly came out as a statement then it did an apology, and by the looks of it, she looked even more infuriated.

"FUCK Y/N, PLEASE JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!" She screamed at you, making you jump a little, but with your broken ego, you weren’t going to take that, with crossed arms you announced your wholehearted answer.

"Yeah, I did, and it wasn’t with Danielle. Don’t worry about her…" You bitterly bit back trying to get it in through to her, you were truly so despised at this moment, but to save face you preached some half-assed excuse.

"You know Minji, it isn’t my fault— You're selfish, how do you not get it. For as long as I remember you've only ever thought about yourself." You said, leaving Minji to stand in utter anguish at the shit you were spewing. How could she be the selfish one? You bit back your tongue before realizing this was probably the only moment to let out everything you’ve built up over your whole relationship.

"I reach for you and you’re not there, I'm so fucking numb but you don't care. A part of me feels for you, but it hurts, it hurts so much." Her stare etching deeper into your mind, she didn’t bite back, but you could see through her fuming portrayal that tears were pooling from her eyes.

"enlighten me, my dear, why am I still here? Why did you even— why did you even pick me? You don't talk to me, you never want to talk about anything and you’re always just with Hanni. I know you're confused and hurt, but when I needed a warm body to hold, you were never there. And when you where you wanted too much from me— I didn’t know how I could give you everything" You inched closer to her wiping the tears off her face, she placed her hand on top of yours. Maybe this was the only emotionally intimate time you both had in months. As you rested her hand on her plush cheeks, you took a moment to appreciate her beauty one last time, she was gorgeous, undoubtedly, gorgeous.

(You couldn’t admit to yourself that this reminded you about the first time you met, your eyes locked with hers as she stumbled out of another stress-inducing meeting. She looked so out of it so you graciously offered her your apple cider, under the pretense that it was apple juice. You examined her as you were a bit surprised a young girl like her was working this late into the night, it was already 10:36. You looked back at her while stopping to laugh loudly as her eyes winced while chugging down your drink. She looked so annoyed but somewhat happy she met you, her drowsy eyes lighting up as you offered to get her an actual drink at a nearby bar. You had a bad habit of analyzing her, her hair smelt like a sweet fruit punch, and her smile was so infectious.

You remember holding her face just like this as you led her back to her apartment, she looked dazed out of her mind as you pulled her on her leather couch to rest. In a drunken state, she commented on how she liked your hair and pulled you down into her lap to play with it. You couldn’t stop your face from heating up but she didn’t happen to notice, she looked down at you and complimented the jacket you wore. So after that you always wore it, and even at this exact moment, you were wearing that stupid jacket once more.)

"I didn’t— as much as I hate you right now maybe we just got lost in translation… no— maybe I asked for too much." She weakly smiled biting back her rage while staring deeply at you.

"I've done the math there's no solution, we'll never last, I’m so sorry Minji, there’s just no universe where I can see our happy ending." Minji closed her eyes, biting her lips, maybe she already lost you, or maybe she never had you in the beginning, but all she knew this would be your last moments holding each other. Your heart constantly aching throughout the whole ordeal, as she leaned her head closer to yours your lips slowly touched, having one last passionate kiss, until you broke it up. Minji looked at you with sorrowful yet entrancing eyes as she connected your foreheads, forcing you both to lie in the moment.

"in the morning you're not in my bed, I'll just sleep until I fall dead, my love" She joked weakly as you intertwined your lips together once more before letting out a deep sigh. "I guess this is where you get your stuff and leave, Y/N" She pathetically laughed and more tears streamed down her face.

"Yeah, don't worry I'll be gone by tomorrow..." You turned away taking a breather, before taking one last look at the living room that we had built together. The walls were decorated with inside jokes and pictures you took together, you inspected every one of them, knowing she’d probably throw them out later on in life. Your eyes landed on the coffee pot she gifted you on your anniversary, she built it during her pottery lessons to surprise you, it didn’t work so well, but it was cute. You sigh as you look at the pictures all from different occasions like when you celebrated your first Christmas with her, or when she met your parents, the memories of each decoration hitting you like a train.

"Where are you going to go?" She asked trying to figure out where you’ll run off to now, you laughed for a moment, before looking back at her. Her hands balling up as she awaited your answer, you cupped her face again and smiled at her question.

"Probably crash out with my ex-roommate if she still has a spare room somewhere."

"Oh, uhm…" She laughed elegantly and hugged you tightly not wanting to let you go. "I'll drop you off wherever— whenever you need to go, just please stay with me tonight. It's only…” She trailed off looking at the clock.

“10:36,” You both say in unison.

guys count how much I referenced other songs… anyways back to writing fluff im literally started to tweak out

[the-goya-jerker]

What are your thoughts on Can’t Help Myself by Sun Yuan and Peng Yu? AKA the robotic arm sweeping up something bloodlike leaking out of it.

[Also requested by @archvillain]

First, I would like to highly recommend watching a video of this robot, it's cool as hell, and the movements really sell it, honestly.

So, I want to start with acknowledging the actual meaning of this piece. It's about the violence and Sisyphean nature of guarding and enforcing borders. "Every border implies the violence of its maintenance" and all of that. This is a very important political message. However, I think allowing yourself to only see an art for the intended meaning is counterproductive to the very nature of art.

The robot moves in a jerky fashion, tries desperately to keep this blood-like substance close to it. In doing so, it slowly destroys itself. It gunks up it's own mechanisms, it works itself to death.

And yet, this is all it can do. It was made to do this eternally. It lacks free will, it cannot do anything else and it cannot desire to do anything else. It quite literally, cannot help itself.

I find the jerky movements alluring, the inhuman nature of it, the constant reminder that it is far from human. I find the lack of control it has erotic. As I've said before, both extreme control and extreme loss of control are erotic, in my opinion.

The blood-like substance it seeks to contain and the voyeuristic nature of the viewer just elevate this. We are watching something, and should we be watching it? The desperation of the robot, the way it almost seems to be cleaning up its own blood, these feel intimate, like something not intended for us.

Overall, I give this one a 10/10. It elicits a strong "i think i hauve covid" from me.

[lucrel]

FINALLY READ UTRH AND I THINK IM GOING INSANE.

NOT THE GREEK MYTHOLOGICAL ALLUSIONS

god the fic potential outta this one! jason not being able to stay dead is a fav trope, but “he Was Never supposed to die” mixed with the “jason’s death is a canon event”… !! the universe is truly out here against my man. imagine if jason learned that the superboy shenanigans fixed his death; that coming back to life trapped in his coffin was actually the universe doing something right. this panel is very funny to me

bruce, my guy. love ya but you are so full of shit. you have the emotional availability of a wood chip

also nobody told me bruce and jason literally WATCH AS BLUDHAVEN IS NUKED and the confrontation happens IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS?!?!? HUH??!?

and all of the alt covers……,,,,,,,, i’m feeling Things

also i liked the black mask banter a lot more than i thought i would!!!!! he’s actually pretty funny

and since i saw the movie first, it was interesting seeing what they kept and what they scrapped. no onyx or jason killing captain nazi (and bruce getting upset about it lmao) yet i could hear jason’s monologue word for word in jensen ackles’s voice. i liked the way he blew up mask’s office in the movie more, but you can See jason’s planning and schemes cookin in the comic

overall a solid 9/10 i really liked it more than i thought i would highly recommend :D

all panels from batman: under the red hood by judd winick!

[theriverbeyond]

what series scratch the same "itch" as TLT for you? Recently finished the trilogy and feel empty and have found nothing to fill the void in my chest (lol) that TLT had in the weeks I was reading it. I have already experienced homestuck, when thhey cry, and most of the other "big names" of similar media. Any format works as long as its good. I like morally grey characters (Ianthe), well written female leads, character driven narratives and lesbians (in that order.

1. Princess Floralinda and the forty-flight tower (by Tamsyn Muir. excellent audio book narrated by Moira Quirk, same voice actor as TLT)

2. All of Tamsyn Muir's other novellas and short stories (The magician's apprentice, The house that did 16 loops of time, undercover, chew, the deepwater bride, etc)

Next up is entirely my personal and extremely picky and subjective preferences of brain zing, ranked in order of me remembering them

Chainsaw man manga (i read this 5x back to back when I first got into it in 2021. part 1 is complete, part 2 is still updating. part 1 can be experienced as a complete work. the anime is very good but the first episode is not as good as everything after it)

This is how we lose the time war book (feels sorta like fanfiction but the prose is gorgeous)

Interview with the vampire tv show (it's fun, it's camp, there are a lot of gay and bisexual people making really terrible decisions and being very hot)

Gurren Lagann anime (my favorite anime of all time. the women characters are not good, as is typical of many animes. the bathhouse episode can be skipped in its entierty without losing any plot. the overall story is really good and gives me that zing)

Arcane tv show (i watched this in full once and every since have just watched a caitvi + jinx whump clipshow but it did give me that zing. i do not care about the men)

Fullmetal alchemist manga or FMA brotherhood (really good and at this point a classic. royai is the queerplatonic campal blueprint i will not be taking critique at this time)

Revolutionary girl utena anime (watch the sub, do not watch the dub, the dub didn't make them gay. it's really good but heavy TWs and also it is paced like a 90's anime so: slow with a fair amount of filler, which can be good or bad depending on your preferences)

I have complicated feelings about Baru Cormerant and recommend reading up on content warnings if things like violent homophobia and very intimate portrayals of being a colonized subject are things that would upset you. It felt a little too personal to my life for me to like... think it was "fun" or whatever like it felt uncomfortably personal (and also subjectively I didn't super enjoy the pacing of the latter 2 books) but it did make me feel a lot of things and think a lot of thoughts. if the blurb sounds like something you are interested in then I recomend giving it a shot and then you can decide what you think of it yourself

Ancillary justice book (liked this one a lot, but havent felt motivated to read the sequel)

Other fun Studio Trigger animes such as Promare, Cyberpunk 2077, Kill la Kill

Nausicaa and the valley of the wind manga (the movie is good but the manga spanned 10 years, is gorgeously rendered, and goes MUCH more in depth especially wrt climate philosophy and such)

Slay the Princess video game (on steam but also I got into it just by watching letsplays online. It's really good and REALLY interesting, i love how it uses the visual novel format to its story advantage to pull of some incredibly cool story twists. Highly recomend!)

I feel like I am forgetting things that made my brain zing. My childhood special interest was CATS the musical (stage play and 1998 recorded production) and i definitely got brain zing from that but I don't think it has a lot of taste overlaps with tlt. this post really went off the rails but in my defense, it is after midnight

[lovewash3d-doll]

•.*🩰*.•.Tips on How to Write Consistently .*•🩰*•.

………………………………………………….………………………

I am a person that especially struggles to write consistently: I’ll have a month-long writing phase where I write every day and then months without scribbling a single word. Over the years, I’ve developed some tips and techniques to initiate my writing phases even when I’m in the pirouettes and twirls of stress or a lack of creativity. They may be helpful to you or anyone attempting to write a little more!

1) Mentally Schedule Writing Time 🩰

Scheduling writing time is beyond adding it to your to-do list or planner as it is often left unchecked and forgotten—I’ve very guilty. Instead, you have mentally schedule it and put it in your mentality that you will write today! Tightly affirm that you will write and put it high on your priorities for the day! If writing is an afterthought, it will also be an afterthought before bed and the following day. Determination is really key and so is sticking to your word!

It’s also important to plan writing at reasonable times and for reasonable durations. I tend to plan to write after I finish my schoolwork but, I always end up too worn out and tired and simply slip into to bed. Instead, plan to write at a time where you know you won’t have any distractions or other tasking taking priority. If you’re seeing a friend later, grab your laptop or pen in the two hour period before. If you’re busy for the day, wake up an hour early or sacrifice some of your phone scrolling time for a quick few paragraphs.

Additionally, don’t expect yourself to immediately write for long periods of time or write very much. Unrealistic, unattainable goals can very easily kill your spirits so it’s important to be realistic. Start with 30 minutes and with the goal of writing one scene and naturally, as you get more in the mood, those 30 minutes will expand to an hour or even longer and your story or piece will have a fresh page written soon enough.

2) Books, Movies, & Music🩰

Before attempting to write, I always try to create the perfect atmosphere even if I may not particularly be in the mood! If I want to get in a creative mindset overall, I love reading a book in my genre or watching a tv show or movie that relates to the topic or plot line of my story. I mainly recommend reading a book since absorbing writing is a great way reinforce oneself to write. I also create music playlists for every story and listen to a couple songs before my writing session! It definitely sets the tone and puts me in the mindset of my story!

3) Do a Writing Challenge 🩰

One of my grandest periods of consistant writing was thanks to a writing challenge I did! For a Creative Writing Class project, I decided to follow the writing routines of several authors and blog about my experience. I dedicated at least half an hour every day and my results were fruitful. Not only was it a fun experience but, it also reinforced me to write and I got a lot of insight into different approaches! Any writing challenge is a very good motivator and I highly recommend it! For my challenge, I specifically pulled writing routines from this book (linked).

4) Journal Sessions 🩰

If you especially struggle to carve out large portions of time for your writing on a daily basis, a great tip is using a journal! Whenever you have 10-15 minutes of down time, let your stream of consciousness flow and write any scene or stanza or any part of your larger piece. Don’t worry about its quality: it’s simply important that you scribble something down. Once you have a considerable amount of time to focus on your writing, transfer your notebook writings to your laptop and edit away! After a few quick journal sessions, you’ll have a decent amount of material that you can mold into draft. It’s a lot easier to edit than to stare at a blank page!

5) Trip to Barnes & Nobles 🩰

This is a very niche tip that only applies if you are planning on writing a novel and looking to publish! I love Barnes & Nobles and sometimes, when I’m in a large writing slump, I love visiting a store and taking in the smell of fresh books and tracing book spines on the shelves. Looking at new releases and imagining my own book on those shelves really motivates me to go home and pick up my pen! It reminds me of my goals and sends me into a larger writing phase!

I hope this helps! Reblogs are appreciated! 🩷

XOXO,

lovewashed doll🩰

[whovianshifts]

thoughts on: the gateway tapes

As some of you may know, I *thought* that I shifted yesterday. Long story short, I was so deep in the void that, when my aunt came into my room and turned the big light in, i didn't realise until a flash of light woke me.

My heart jolted awake; I felt all my limbs alive at once and I genuinely, in that moment, thought that I had shifted. Like honestly, for a shifting simulation, I think it was pretty accurate haha.

But anyway, what I found more interesting was how effective the gateway tapes were.

The other day, I came across a tumblr post with a google doc attached explaining the tapes in great detail. Whilst I had heard about and tried it last year, this explanation was action-oriented and grounded shifting as a skill i could gradually acquire on my own, rather than an abstract sort of end goal based on luck (if you scroll like one post down you will find it, i HIGHLY recommend reading).

To summarise quickly, the tapes take you through 3 main stages of (in shifttok/blr terms) the void - Focus 3, Focus 10 and Focus 10-advanced. Its basically a guided meditation with some insanely effective frequencies that allows you to access and get comfortable with powerful states of mind that can aid in many spiritual practices, including shifting, LOA, and astral projection.

So, basics aside, let me tell you all about my first time experience:

Following the google doc, I began with basic Focus 3. Due to it's long introduction, I honestly just took time to get relaxed and close my eyes when I truly felt like it - already making it a comfortable experience. As I listened to the recording, the frequencies and especially the waves eased my body into a state of sleep. The way it allowed me to gradually enter this state without much effort really solidified to me that this meditation definitely does what it says on the tin - it isnt something you have to 'trust' or 'believe in' (terms that i find admittedly too vague to sometimes grasp onto), but instead just works effectively on its own. Of course, your own concentration is required - for me, as I have been in and out of the void in previous meditations, this was sort of easy - but if you try a few times to really focus, it works quickly.

For me, what I found most difficult was trying not to bring my attention back to my body when I reached Focus 3. At points, the 'void' state was stable and I could sort of chill in it, but other times, it oscillated between the former and just a numb feeling in my body. To clarify, it was a very fuzzy sort of numbness - my physical body was sort of imperceptible, but it always snapped me out of that pure void state and into a semi lucid reality. However, the google docs I am following through at the moment sort of described Focus 3 as an intermediate state, rather than a complete detachment from the body. I also think that honestly, with practice, I can see myself getting a lot better at recognising and accepting these feelings anyway, so I am sure it will become easier.

Overall, I give this technique/meditation a 10/10 because it gives you the tools to be self-reliant and informed in your shifting journey rather than just throwing you into the deep end right away. Especially when terms like the void state, pure consciousness etc can be ambiguous and unclear, shifting can be really daunting - and lets *normalise* this feeling. Its so much better to work with this and ease yourself into shifting, rather than struggle against your instincts. In my experience, it's so difficult and counterintuitive to force yourself to feel confident; I much rather prefer taking things slow and working on my skills, developing this sense of confidence naturally. With the gateway tapes, they really do ease you in to this; Focus-10 is similar to Focus-3, but it encourages you to be more independent - and at this point, you've already started to develop a solid understanding of the void so you dont feel lost.

For me, this practice is so important; going into shifting, already finding a large part of it natural and easy, will undoubtedly make it a lot more feasible. Breaking it into small, manageable chunks like this helps with that feeling of intimidation too - I feel like yeah, I can achieve this, realistically.

Anyway, future resolutions

-STARFISH POSE: I never thought I would be saying this after the trauma of 2020 shifttok, but I finally understand why the starfish pose is so helpful. At points in this meditation, I did lose sensation in many parts of my body but my hands, clasped together, were always sort of there. Though a full starfish is soo uncomfortable, I will resolve to try and keep my limbs apart as I can tell this will help, as long as it's in a semi-comfortable manner too.

Anyway, happy shifting everyone :)

-tish

[wolfgirl-sister]

A lot of times, I have people ask me for recommendations for incest media, or just don't know where to start, so without further ado:

Cocteau Azaka's Incest Reading List!

Books

Wasteland by Francesca Lia Block

Incest Rating: 9.5/10

Incest Type: Siblings, Explicit, Focal Point

Genre: Romance, Drama, Tragedy, Coming of Age

Overall Rating: 9/10

Wasteland is a beautifully written, albeit heartbreaking, book about love, loss, and growing up as an outsider. The book utilizes multiple points of view, signified by changes in font and narrative distance, to paint the picture of three teens in 1980s SoCal who are looking for answers. The first time I read this book, I finished it in tears and immediately read it a second time, just because I wanted more of it.

Hale by K Webster

Incest Rating: 9/10

Incest Type: Siblings, Explicit, Focal Point

Genre: Romance, Drama

Overall Rating: 5/10

Hale is... Not a great book. The characters are so painfully cishet and neurotypical that, while they're ostensibly fleshed out, they're so perfectly, stereotypically normal that I legitimately felt alienated. I suppose the point is that it's not always the fucked up people who can be in a forbidden relationship, that even the girl next door can fall in love with her brother, but in execution the only reason the characters weren't boring is that they wrapped around to being fascinating if only because this was what being "normal" is like.

Overall quality aside, the romance itself is not only convincing, but spectacular. It's a poignant depiction of the line between siblings and lovers blurring until it's inevitably crossed, and it has an explicitly happy ending— a rarity in incest media.

Love's Forbidden Flower, by Diane Rinella

Incest Rating: 6/10

Incest Type: Siblings, Will They Won't They, Explicit

Genre: Romance, Drama

Overall Rating: 4/10

To be blunt, this book was a letdown. I appreciate what the author was going for, and I felt that it did achieve that, somewhat?

But I could not stand the characters, particularly the secondary love interest that's introduced after the main character is let down by her brother time and time again. The reason why this book is on here at all is the end of the second act/early parts of the third, where the protagonist's brother is redeemed and they finally are together, even if it's only temporary when they find that they're not able to withstand the challenges of a socially unacceptable relationship. Rinella wrote a fascinating turn in the plot with a bravery not usually becoming of Western authors of the genre, and for that I applaud her.

Kara no Kyoukai: Records in Oblivion by Kinoko Nasu

Incest rating: 6/10

Incest Type: Siblings, Unrequited, but Explicit, Sub-plot

Genre: Urban fantasy, neo-noir

Overall rating: 7/10

Obviously, I have a fondness for Kara no Kyoukai, and for Azaka specifically, but I'll admit that this isn't the most incestuous book on the list. It does have some payoff with a platonic date at the end, but primarily it's on this list because it does a good job of exploring Azaka's feelings and not invalidating them or downplaying them. I would recommend reading the KnK books prior to this one first, or else you'll most likely be hopelessly lost.

Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk

Incest Rating: 4/10

Incest Type: Siblings, Explicit, Questionably Requited? Auxillary to the Plot

Genre: Chuck Palahniuk, Drama

Overall Rating: 8/10

Like most of Palahniuk's works, Invisible Monsters is about fucked up people doing fucked up things, driven by self-destruction until they enter todestrieb. As usual, it's fucking glorious.

Invisible Monsters focuses on themes of beauty, identity, attention, disability, and the way that all of these intersect with womanhood. It's not for readers who are squeamish about depictions of transphobia or a narrator who is somewhat transphobic herself, but if you're able to stomach it I highly recommend it.

If you're reading it just for the incest, you'll probably be disappointed, but if you want a fantastic book with some small amount of explicit incest feelings, I would say go for it.

Not Forever, but For Now by Chuck Palahniuk

I'm putting this on the list because though I haven't read it yet, I know that it's explicitly incestuous. I cannot promise that the incest is good, I can't even promise that the book is good, but I can assure you that those brothers are fucking.

Manga

Sayuri-San no Imouto wa Tenshi

Incest Rating: 10/10

Incest Type: Explicit, Sisters, Focal Point

Genre: Yuri, Slice of Life, Romance, Comedy

Overall Rating: 9/10

This manga is very short, but focuses on the day to day life of a young woman and her estranged, sickly younger sister, who re-enters her life suddenly with a halo and wings that only the protagonist and her friend can see.

It's an extremely sweet, funny and lighthearted manga that is nonetheless deeply touching.

Citrus

Incest Rating: 5/10

Incest Type: Step-Sisters, Focal Point, Explicit

Genre: Yuri, Romance, Drama, Gyaru

Overall Rating: 6/10

Citrus is the queen of sister yuri, earning the rare privilege of an anime adaptation, which in this genre is rare! However, just because Citrus is queen does not make it the best, not even by a long shot. The plot is extremely melodramatic, the kisses questionably consensual for most of the first acts, and with the strict uniform standards, a lot of the tertiary characters can be difficult to discern in black and white. It has it's redeeming qualities, but mostly I've found that it's over-hyped.

I Met My Sister On A Dating Site

Incest Rating: 7/10

Incest Type: Sisters, Focal Point, Explicit

Genre: Yuri, Slice of Life, Comedy, Romance

Overall Rating: 7/10

This is a really cute and short manga with a great premise, but honestly it's very lacking in substance. That's okay though, because it does exactly what it sets out to do: be something short and sweet that ends with sisters dating.

Oshi no Ko

Incest Rating: 8/10

Incest Type: Siblings, Twins, Explicit, Ostensibly Requited? Sub plot

Genre: Drama, Thriller, Revenge, Idols

Overall Rating: 8/10

I've written my thoughts on Oshi no Ko elsewhere, but to keep this brief, this is a fantastic series, and reading/watching it was the time of my life. The art is glamorous and over the top, with visibly heightened emotions that really sell the drama of it all.

We've only just started to get to the incest as of this chapter being written, but Ruby's reaction to her brother are so endearing that I'm preemptively rating it very highly

Koi no Kaze

Incest Rating: 7/10

Incest Type: Siblings, Explicit, Focal Point

Genre: Romance, Slice of Life

Overall Rating: 6/10

I don't have too much to say about this one— it's your basic, straightforward sibling love story played straight, with not too many twists or turns. I do appreciate that it includes an outing scene, so I'm rating it a bit higher, but it also hits on public acceptance, which for some people is a really important part of the fantasy.

1 x 1/2

Incest Rating: 8/10

Incest Type: Mother/Daughter, Explicit, Focal Point

Genre: Romance, Drama, Yuri

Overall Rating: */10

Taiyaki, the mangaka who created 1 x 1/2, is in my opinion one of the greatest mother/daughter writers and artists out there. 1 x 1/2 is a complicated work to judge as an English speaker because what's currently on Mangadex is an excellent fan translation of an unfinished, no longer canon first draft. This is phenomenal, and does a great job of everything it sets out to do, until it ends very suddenly. When Taiyaki restarted 1 x 1/2, she partnered with an (incredibly mid) translation partner called Yuri Hub, which means that her work can no longer be fan translated, and the translation published is pretty clearly machine-based. It's honestly very disappointing, as I would love to have a proper translation of the new 1 x 1/2.

Visual Novels

Full Metal Daemon Muramasa

Incest Rating: 8/10

Incest Type: Siblings (Explicit? Implicit? Somewhat unrequited?), Parent/Child (Explicit)

Genre: Fantasy Mecha, Action, Drama, Samurai

Overall Rating: 9/10

Muramasa is an epic, and I don't know how to impress the drama of the fight scenes throughout, and the way that they combine real swordplay theory with imagined mecha combat, crossed with samurai tropes. It can be really difficult to get through, as the game is not even in the slightest for the squeamish. There's a lot of rape, both implied and explicit, however the antagonist's motivation is that she wants to ascend to godhood so that she's no longer bound by the rules of morality and therefore can marry her father. Additionally, her relationship with her brother is extremely sexually charged, and their fight scenes often involve comparisons to sex.

This is one of the best mecha VNs ever written, with a truly fantastic ending.

Tsukihime

Incest Rating: 7/10

Incest Type: Siblings, Explicit, Focal Point (of one route)

Genre: Action, Urban Fantasy, Horror

Overall Rating: 7/10

This game is a touchy subject for me. I've had the misfortune of playing Tsukihime after having it hyped up for literal years, so it not measuring up to that hype is less a statement on my objective assessment of the VN, and more a statement on how beloved it is.

Having said that, the Akiha route is fantastic. I'm not sure that I have much to say on the subject that hasn't already been said, but believe you me, Tsukihime is worth playing.

Love Ribbon

Incest Rating: 8/10

Incest Type: Sisters, Explicit, Focal Point

Genre: Slice of Life, Drama, Romance, Comedy, Yuri

Overall Rating: 6/10

Love Ribbon is a short, sweet VN that's a really solid 6/10 and is worth the $15 it costs to support an indie dev. It focuses on two sisters who were raised apart, and only meet when they share an apartment to attend a prestigious high school. The romance is cute, the plot is uncomplicated, and there are only two routes, but there's a long epilogue where they're explicitly dating and ostensibly get symbolically married. If you have unresolved daddy issues that you can't touch for fear of untangling something massive, this is a great read because so do those girls.

Thank you for reading, I hope that this list helps people!

[dailydemonspotlight]

sorry, have you done Neko Shogun? always wondered if that one was just, made up

Neko Shogun - Day 38 (Request)

Race: Enigma

Alignment: Light-Neutral

May 14, 2024

Once upon a time, there was only one cat mascot of the SMT series. The time before Persona 5- the time of Neko Shogun. One of the most popular (and infamous) demons in the series is this warrior cat, whose appearances started all the way back in 1995 in the first Devil Summoner. Since then, this cat has been a recurring demon throughout several games in the series, specifically being spotlighted in the Persona games. Where it came about from, though, is not from folklore, nor did it originate from legendary stories as its lore in the series would leave you to believe. No, Neko Shogun is none of those things. It is a pun.

Now, this will need a bit of context- during the Jiajing dynasty, there was a general who was incredibly popular, to the point of being seen as a god- a man named Mao Bowen, read sometimes as Mao Shangshu. During a war wherein China conquered Vietnam, he was hailed as a hero and held on a pedestal that almost seemed to make him like a god amongst men. Unfortunately, I can't find many sources on this, as I can't speak Chinese? Frustratingly, the SMT wiki commonly doesn't cite its sources, and the wild goose chase this sent me on has only led to many poorly google translated articles regarding this man, so I might have my story mixed up here.

What makes this even worse is that those articles paint a completely different story, but I'm getting ahead of myself. According to the SMT wiki, due to Mao's name being pronounced very similarly to the chinese word for cat, when the chinese people decided to build a temple in his honor, the temple was misnamed into one reading "Temple of General Cat." Now then, what was that about different stories? When you input the word that the wiki uses as the name of the temple, 貓將軍, it grants you a result of a wikipedia page, one that is completely different. According to the page, albeit roughly translated from chinese, the word 貓將軍 actually means "General Cat," and was used to refer to a folkloric figure in Taiwan.

According to this article, General Cat was a mischief-causing monster responsible for ruining many a day of the villagers in Yilan Town, a Taiwanese city during the Chinese/Vietnamese conflict. After people began to become fed up with the little pest, it came down with an ultimatum that they accepted- they would make a temple for it. So this is where the name of 'Temple of General Cat' comes from, right? I think so? The story surrounding this ferocious feline is hard to grasp for someone like me who can't read a lick of simplified Chinese, but as far as I can tell, this seems to be the actual origin of Neko Shogun- a mix of a pun and a taiwanese monster. Where did the factoid on the SMT wiki come from, then, though? I have no idea! Again, frustratingly, it doesn't cite ANY sources most of the time, so it might just genuinely be made the hell up!

My frustration aside, though, the Neko Shogun, interestingly, isn't entirely made up by the Megaten series- I would highly recommend looking further into it and correcting me if you speak Chinese, as my knowledge of this story is heavily barred by my monolingualism. Overall, I don't really know how to feel about this demon, and my opinion has been somewhat soured by my experience with researching it, but damn do I love its design. Neko Shogun, predictably, shows as a shogun, the red fan a typically used weapon by Samurai at the time. It's a cat samurai! And I love it for that.

All in all, while the lore is confusing, I really do enjoy Neko Shogun as a whole. His design is cute, and that's all you really need at the end of the day! 8/10. Please cite your sources, SMT wiki.

[littencloud9]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "littencloud9 "?

oooh! GREAT QUESTION i’m gonna rec my beautiful clever amazing mutuals’ fics obviously. and some others. i mainly read jjk and bsd fics so that’s probably all this list will have haha 😭

(also littencloud9 comes from my fav pokémon litten, + cloud9 was TECHNICALLY inspired by the song cloud 9 by beach bunny! but it’s a cute phrase so i stuck them together LOL)

in no particular order,

—> sun comes streaming through the window (& i can't sleep anymore) by @that-was-anticlimactic

| bsd, gen, teen and up, ~21k, kenji & ada

| good morning to one of my fav fics EVER. i have never sobbed so hard reading something. corey is the queen of kenji fics and this one is no exception i LOVE how the dynamics with kenji and the rest were portrayed and how much of a family they were 🥹🫶 (i also love her other fics.. the kunichuu ones and the pyramid ones especially you guys should check them out 🔪)

—> though i burn, how could i fall? by @zukkaoru

| bsd, gen, teen and up, 8.6k, kunikidazai + kunikida & ranpo

| HFHSGDHSS. i am always obsessed with grace’s kunikida characterisation. ada president kunikida is something that can be so personal. and i love that he had people helping him through the stress even when he pushed them away. TEARS. (also check out their other fics she has lots lots and i really like the tachigin, aku siblings, and kunichuuzai ones 🫶)

—> we can plant a memory garden by @ryuvnosuke

| bsd gen, mature, 4.2k, kunikida & yosano (during the great war)

| sorry not sorry for continuously reccing gen fics in this ship-focused fandom. anyway HELLO?? the set-up of this fic is already so so interesting, and i adored yosano’s character here!! and the description of.. pretty much everything, was super chilling. it was such a fantastic read 🫶 (i also adore ela’s tachigin fics and sskk fics too. she gets akutagawa like no one else)

—> reading between the lines by @spliqi

| bsd, m/m, teen and up, 12.3k, shin soukoku

| did you guys know that im spliqi’s biggest fan actually. their sskk characterisation is legit my favourite thing EVER i am always cackling when reading her fics. this one is my fav especially because of how ridiculously stupid yet clever they are. and how they cannot confess like normal people. highly recommend!! 🤍

—> baby, drive slow by zonnie

| jjk, m/m, mature, 15.8k, itafushi

| i am a SUCKER for roadtrip AUs. this fic was so so fun and i loved yuuji the greenest flag ever. i also love zonnie’s other itfs works! also megumi and nobara’s dynamic in their fics are the best thing ever i am obsessed 💗💗

—> quiet quitting is easy when your boss has already held your funeral and you’re technically still legally dead by @gothicakvtagawa

| bsd, m/m, teen and up, 24.5k, shin soukoku

| the sskk writers in this fandom truly get it. this fic was SUCH a great ride, and i loved that other character’s povs (kunikida, sigma, chuuya etc) were explored! i always love post-canon fics so this was such a treat. and fukuzawa father of the YEAR award in this fic. overall lovely lovely fic, amazing characterisation, and fun flow!! (their other sskk fics are also GEMS check those out)

—> and all i loved, i loved alone by featherx

| bsd, m/m, mature, 121.6k, ranpoe

| i always wonder how user featherx is doing after dropping this BOMB of a fic. it explores poe’s life from the start and i LOVED EVERY SECOND. the descriptions of how his ability feels, meeting new people, meeting karl, meeting the guild members, his relationship with ranpo and so on. exploration of sexuality too. overall this fic reads like the bsd poe wikipedia to me because of how on point everything feels. LOVE it

—> i hope i die first by @amythecinnabunny

| bsd, m/m, teen and up, major character death, 28.7k, shin soukoku

| yeah… this fic sent me into spirals. i sobbed so hard i had to take bathroom breaks. the epilogue was truly the cherry on top. if you wanna break your heart this fic is for you (also love her other fics! esp the higuchi & the sheep series, and the babysitting series!)

—> here and where you are by cityboys

| jjk, m/m + gen, teen and up, 17.3k, itafushi + jjk first years trio

| okay. i cry pretty easily reading things. but this one. ohhhhh my god. this one legit had me ugly crying for a whole hour. this one destroyed me. megumi is my pookie we know this so reading this HEARTWRENCHING fic from his pov was just. ouuuugh. basically yuuji’s memories are erased and he goes back to being a normal boy. but megumi and nobara remember him. enough said. please read this i was genuinely devastated

—> hey son, i killed your daddy by missingnooo

| jjk, gen + m/m, teen and up, 5.6k, gojo & megumi (+ satosugu and itafushi)

| THIS FIC!!! gojo and megumi are surprisingly underrated in this fandom which is crazy cause they’re literally related guys. but this was an emotional rollercoaster and i was hooked every second. gojo’s character felt very true to the story idk how to explain it but it was amazing. i cried. highly recommend

-

THATS 10!! i only dared to tag my mutuals aksjfksbd but heres my fic recs. thank you for the ask! <33

[acesamateurart]

Spring 2024 Commissions are Open!

A like, reblog, and share go a long way!

Thanks to my incredible community, I was able to obtain some different style pen grips to make writing and doing art a little less painful! And that means: my commissions are once again open!

It also means that, since my quarter one bills are paid and I've obtained the accessibility items I was looking for, the first $100 of these commissions is going directly into mutual aid. The first $50 will be given to 10 GoFundMe campaigns out of Gaza (found and verified through Operation Olive Branch), and the next $50 are going towards menstrual products to donate to my city's Free Store (a place where people in need can "shop" for free, and hygiene items are currently on the donation list).

I am, of course, Just Some Guy™, so if you don't like my art style or don't trust internet strangers to follow through, I do highly recommend checking out Operation Olive Branch. They're doing incredible work with finding and verifying Gaza GoFundMe campaigns, and even if you can't afford to donate, spreading the word helps!

Read on for more commission info, or check out the commissions carrd.

Instead of doing a flat overall number of slots, I've decided to set a number of slots available by color options. So, there are 4 sketches, 3 flat colors, 2 full shadings, and 1 color line art with full shading.

As it currently stands, I think 2 full shading and 1 color line art is the maximum of those types of commissions I can accept for the next few months, but this is subject to change. The sketch and flat color commissions, however, are easier to do, so when I finish one from those categories, a slot will be renewed. To see what slots are available, check the Ko-fi module, or see what's in the current commission queue.

Please read the rules and TOS closely! Mistakes happen and there is grace, but repeatedly crossing rules and boundaries (requesting blacklisted ships, content I stated I won't draw, using my art in commercial graphics without telling me, etc.) will result in my no longer doing business with you. I reserve the right to turn down any commission I'm not comfortable with, be it skill-wise or content-wise.

You can request a deadline earlier than 60 days through the Ko-fi module, and I will let you know if a deadline feels unrealistic (e.g. giving me 3 days to do a full shading with color line art piece, I would tell you I need at least a week, etc.) so that we can make a plan that works for both of us.

As I said earlier in the post, if you don't like my art or don't trust strangers on the internet to give money where they say they will, that's a-okay! Here are the GoFundMe campaigns that I will be donating to:

Medical/Disabled Line 9: Fadi and His Family

Medical/Disabled Line 11: Rezeq's Family Freedom

Medical/Disabled Line 13: Yousef, Omaya, and Family

Medical/Disabled Line 32: Haya, Mother, and Family

Prenatal/Postpartum Line 35: Khaleel, Hadeel, and Newborn

Prenatal/Postpartum Line 36: Yesmeen's Family

Prenatal/Postpartum Line 39: Alladaa Family

Prenatal/Postpartum Line 45: Fedaa and Children

Mutual Aid Line 3: Salam & Solidarity

Mutual Aid Line 6: Medical Tent

[argumentl]

Nouteikarano 2 exhibition - brief report

I had a ticket for the first session of the last day of the exhibition! I arrived outside the gallery with about 10 mins to spare, very sweaty from the walk, but nevermind 😅 It seems like there were 10 spots per session for the Osaka run, and about 6 or 7 people were waiting there, including me. 

Fujieda came outside at 11am and called each person in by their ticket number. I was number 5! He touched my phone screen to swipe my ticket, and yes, that was an event for me! 😂 

Next I went upstairs to the 2nd floor, where Takabayashi was waiting, and he handed me the paper ticket for the event. This was the first time for me to actually talk to both managers in person, so I was quite happy about that 😄 

After this I was in the exhibition space. No photos were allowed at all this time unfortunately, it was quite a small room. 

I think the biggest difference from Tokyo is probably just that there was no space for the personal items display in this small room (and obviously no live painting). However, I did actually see 2 or 3 of those personal items hiding behind a kind of ridge at the top of the ceiling. I cant think of any reason why he would hide them there other than to see who was eagle-eyed enough to spot them!😅 

There was also some footage being projected on part of the wall, which was showing Kaoru in his art studio/apartment wearing a winter down jacket while painting. 

His bgm was playing in the background too. 

As for the art itself, it was an experience seeing all the pieces up close in reality. I had seen a few of them at Tora no ana, but there was stilll plenty which was new to me. One piece in particular made me well up!  (Here I can't really say much else, I'm planning to send my detailed thoughts about the art and the atmosphere to TTD)

His Hanshin × Dir happi coat was also on display on a mannequin, and didn't even have any 'no touching' signs with it! I was so tempted to just feel the sleeve at least or something, but out of respect I didn't touch it.

Of course, I spent the full hour in this tiny room looking at each piece over and over. 

A few people left after about ten mins, but some stayed the whole hour like me. I heard one woman telling the merch guy why she liked Kaoru so much. She was saying, "Its his sexy eyes, I love them!....I mean, his guitar playing is good too though", which made me laugh to myself a bit 😂 

As for merch I only bought the pamphlet, which is the only thing I really wanted to buy anyway. Initially, I wanted an acrylic stand too, but they are 12 types sold at random, so I decided against that in the end. 

Anyway, the pamphlet is wonderful, so I highly recommend getting it if it goes on GBS afterwards. 

One interesting thing I noticed since going to Kaoru's events is that a lot of his fans look as if they are a similar age to me or older. I do tend to feel like a bit of an old woman within the online fandom sometimes, so this is actually quite heartwarming to see 😄

Overall though, I can say it was a moving and fullfilling experience, and Im so grateful I was able to go!

[mioreviews]

The Boy and the Heron

[ Anime / Fantasy Coming of Age ]

Rating: 10/10

I've heard many things about <The Boy and the Heron>, Studio Ghibli's new movie. Lots of "it's confusing". But I honestly thought it was way better than the public seems to be saying. <The Boy and the Heron> is a story about a boy who moves to the countryside after his mother's death and runs into a mysterious heron that brings him to a mysterious world.

Very Studio Ghibli-esque! If you don't know what that means, it's magical from beginning to end! It's mind-blowingly magical with dumb, funny-looking birds (lol) mixed with finding familial love and acceptance.

Amazing, funny yet heart-touching story. Some people say it's confusing, but I honestly thought it was amazing storytelling through metaphors and fantasy elements. I like how the movie doesn't just explain everything for you. It's your job, as the audience, to interpret. Miyazaki is a wonderful storyteller.

Amazing art. The art is absolutely beautiful. I was blown away by it.

As for the cons:

It definitely does not explain everything for the audience. I thought it was interpretable where the public can come to a general consensus on the story's purpose though. But it's definitely up to the public to imagine what the world looked like through the child's eyes. I thought it was a wonderful interpretation of a child's perspective of longing for what they can't have and the adventure they go through to realize it.

The abrupt ending. I thought the ending was strangely abrupt, but it didn't bother me that much.

Overall,

<The Boy and the Heron> was an amazing comeback movie that I highly recommend everyone to watch. It was a great mix of awe, wonder, sorrow, and mystery. It felt way shorter than it actually was because I enjoyed it so much. Every character, main and side, had unique, charming personalities and physical characteristics. Even though I didn't even remember their names (there's so many lol), I could still recognize them easily. I rarely got lost or confused. You have to let the storytelling do work and go where it takes you.

Apparently <The Boy and the Heron> was inspired by real events that happened in Miyazaki's life (pretty much like an autobiography), and I think it made the story feel more realistic because of that. I loved that element. I could see Miyazaki in the boy's happiness and sorrow. The Japanese movie title is translated to <How Do You Live?>, and this movie does just that. It comments on reality vs fantasy, accepting vs avoidance, selfish vs selfless. A round of applause to Studio Ghibli.

[f1-junkie]

Top 5 Gewis fics

GLAD U ASKED!!! here are some of my beloved ones by my favourite authors (they aren’t in the order of preference they are all splendid)

also I suggest that you pay attention not only to the particular fic but to the author! They do have other amazing works

1. takes one to know one by the one and only @femmegeorge (bejwled on ao3)

an absolute must if you like slow burn, Georgie boy being a tease and taking control🔥🔥🔥🔥

2. sailing home under the stars by @63historian (withmycalamitouslove on ao3)

lesbian gewis absolutely delicious hurt comfort changed my brain chemistry 100000/10 😩😩😩😩😩😩

3. ‘Cause it seems to me, this thing is breaking down’ by @autumn816 (rainydays03 on ao3)

established ricrussell slowly but surely turning gewis! I’m not a fan of Daniel at all but San did an amazing job portraying the feelings of confusion, guilt and overall angsty mood of it, 1000% recommend!!

4. The Mission by dearest @formulaborb

Undercover agent au what else can you wish for?? Obsessed with the idea😩

5. firestone by @interlvgos (orphan_account on ao3)

Coral’s writing style is truly one of a kind, the way the boys’ feelings are portrayed here is immaculate!

Also highly recommend the drabbles by this author posted on their tumblr page! You can use tag #by me for navigation