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separatist-apologist · 6 months

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Lying In Between The Memories

You could call it paradise but it looks just like hell to me

Summary: Following the blood rite, Gwyneth Berdara can't shake the memories of a life long-gone.

The shadowsinger can't seem to move on after five centuries of loving the same woman.

Together, they'll have to carve a new path forward.

Read on AO3 | Previous Chapter

[ongoing TW for Sexual Assault]

Azriel couldn’t say what woke him. Something was wrong—Azriel could taste fear in the back of his throat. It was enough to sit him up in bed, one hand flung out for Gwyn. Her side of the bed was empty and cold, telling him she’d been gone long enough for her warmth to evaporate, too. The mating bond was still new to Azriel—and yet he was pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to ring like an alarm bell in his chest.

Dressing quickly, Azriel made his way into the living area to find it utterly wrecked. With a deep inhale, Azriel noted that Gwyn’s scent was stronger than the underlying vanilla one just beneath…and something spicy and hot lingered just at the door.

Eris.

A growl rumbled in his throat even as he tried to reassure himself that she’d likely just walked off with the Autumn Court heir. That seemed like the kind of thing she’d do given how unconcerned for her own personal safety she was. Azriel swallowed, hand hovering over the handle of the door. In his mind, he saw that flame licking over her fingers.

Had Eris recognized something in her? Some magic that belonged to his family, some claim he thought he might have? Azriel swore, right then and there, that he’d kill Eris if he so much as shot Gwyn a dirty look, Rhys’s politics be damned.

Just outside the door, Azriel found a scene far worse than anything he’d been imagining. Guards swarmed the body of the prince, still smoking and charred from whatever had touched him. It was Eris, he lied to himself. He knew it wasn’t. Standing there, the guards all turned to look at him and Azriel knew there would be no easy escape.

Which was why he allowed them to “escort” him to the dungeons before helpfully disarming him. He wasn’t alone—in the cell that was opened for him, a familiar blonde was curled up on the floor, knees touching her chin. It was the Day Court scholar, rumbled and streaked with dirt, but otherwise unharmed.

“Where is Helion?” Azriel asked, not bothering to introduce himself.

“Gone, if he’s smart,” she replied in a sad voice. “They all are.”

They all are.

“The female I came with—”

“Gone,” the blonde informed him in that despondent voice. “Eris took her.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Azriel demanded, turning the full force of the spymaster onto the female before him.

“Because I saw him, you overgrown bat,” she snapped in response. “He shattered the wards in the palace—letting them think I did it—and raced off to Prythian before he could be blamed for what he did to the prince.”

“I’ll kill him,” Azriel swore, running a hand through his hair.

“You can get in line,” she replied, words dripping with fury. Azriel didn’t bother responding to that. Where the fuck were his shadows? He wasn’t used to such silence, to not knowing everything happening around him. Had they all left with his mate? And would he be mad if they had?

Maybe a little.

Azriel wasted the morning pacing back and forth, planning his escape. He’d take the Day Court female with him, deposit her before Rhys, and then march himself into Autumn, consequences be damned. In his mind, the whole thing was a little glorious—not only did he avenge Mor by killing Eris, he killed Beron, too. Perhaps Lucien would be named the new High Lord which seemed acceptable enough, though still irksome.

He hated to see the people he disliked get something good, after all.

“They’re going to torture answers out of us,” the blonde whispered when the sounds of metal scraping against metal filled the otherwise gloomy darkness. “I’ve never been tortured before.”

Pity squeezed at him. “Whatever secrets matter to you, guard them—weave truth with lies and no matter what, don’t tell them anything to make the pain stop.”

“Why not?”

“Because the pain will only intensify,” he promised, thinking of his own methods. “If they’re going to kill us, nothing we say will convince them not to. Might as well take your secrets to your grave.”

That didn’t make her seem to feel any better. In truth, Azriel couldn’t focus on this female. Not when the door was wrenched open and the two were dragged out by guards wearing chain metal gloves. The female dug in her heels, kicking and thrashing which was, in Azriel’s opinion, a waste of time and energy. She’d wear herself out before the actual torturing even began.

Azriel was joined by all but one of his shadows just in time for his wrists to be shackled over his head.

Eris took Gwyn, they whispered frantically. Azriel needed to free himself to get to her—and in order to free himself, he needed to be alone. He met the blank, bored stares of the Fae males before him and he knew, without needing to ask, that he was going to be suspended like he was for hours.

Grit your teeth, he told himself, remember you have had worse.

Nothing King Gunnar subjected him to could be worse than what he’d endured at the hands of his fathers. And if it was, it certainly wasn’t worse than what he’d been subjected to at the hands of Rhysand’s father. Azriel could withstand immortal levels of pain without cracking and as the door swung shut behind his torturers, Azriel opened a long forgotten door in his mind.

It was where he’d once hidden as a boy, shielding his mind from the pain of his body. He could get through anything so long as he had that little retreat, along with the reminder the pain was merely temporary.

No questions were asked at the beginning. Azriel had been prepared for that. Better to merely hurt for pains sake and then, once the subject was desperate, begin asking casual questions. What Azriel hadn’t expected was the King himself to enter, drinking in the sight of his sweaty, bloody form. The only thing keeping Azriel on his feet was sheer will—the restraints holding his arms up were useless at that point.

Were he to slump, he’d break both his wrists and dislocate his shoulders. Azriels shadows, hidden in the dark, swarmed in that unseen space, whispering a warning only he could hear.

Don’t trust him, don’t trust him, don’t trust him—

Azriel didn’t need to be told as much.

“Your…friend…was she? Gwyneth? Killed my son.”

Azriel didn’t react at all, unwilling to betray Gwyn at all. If she had killed Kai—and he knew she hadn’t—Azriel assumed her reasoning made sense. And if her reasons had been nonsense, he still would have stared that ancient male down and dared him to do his worst.

Azriel would go to his grave before he betrayed his own mate.

“Tell me where she is, and I’ll release you to your lord.”

Azriel inclined his head to the side and then, as Gunnar approached, spat on his boots. Blood splattered against the crisp white of his trousers, filling Azriel with animal pleasure. Next time it would be Gunnar’s blood, and not Azriel’s, that decorated his clothes.

He merely needed a reprieve.

“Do you hear that?” Gunnar asked, ignoring the insult as the Day Court female’s screams echoed around them. “I don’t think she’ll hold up as well as you have. You can do this for days, can’t you?”

Again, Azriel refused to respond.

“You know, I heard a rumor about your kind,” Gunnar continued, sidestepping Azriel. He reached for one of his wings before Azriel could stop him, slicing with a knife held in his hands. The pain was white hot like a branding iron was taken to his flesh and his mind. He couldn’t help but jerk away, causing the metal rings to clank loudly overhead.

“I guess what I heard was true,” Gunnar said, watching red blood streak down the onyx wings. “Would they grow back if I cut them off?”

Azriel’s heart splattered at his feet. No, they wouldn’t. If Gunnar ordered his men to cut Azriel’s wings at the root, he’d spend the rest of his life without them, wishing he did. The thought of being an Illyrian without wings—of the disgrace—made bile pool in his stomach. Before that moment, Azriel hadn’t been afraid, only angry.

But now he was scared. Losing his wings was worse than death. For the first time in his life, Azriel was tempted to beg—to plead.

And still, he refused.

“I’ll need a bigger knife,” Gunnar mused, looking at the rather pathetic blade in his hand. “Maybe yours?”

Nothing. Azriel didn’t care if Gunnar had truthteller, didn’t care if he decided to hack at Azriel’s wings. He focused himself with the reminder that if Rhys knew what was happening, he’d be coming. And the moment Rhys and Cassian and Feyre and Nesta descended on this place, they’d leave it in ruin. They would come.

They would come.

Even for him. Even though he didn’t deserve it, even though he’d made a mess of everything. Azriel lifted his chin and squared his shoulders, willing his traitorous heart to slow.

“You could avoid all this, of course,” Gunnar continued, ever reasonable even with Azriel’s blood splattered against his clothes. “Tell me where your female companion has gone.”

Azriel nodded his head, beckoning for the king to come closer. Gunnar did—the utter fool. Azriel couldn’t help his laugh when he smashed his face against Gunnar’s, forehead colliding with the kings very fragile, very breakable nose. Gunnar swore, stumbling back with one hand covering the injury as Azriel threw his head back in a hoarse laugh.

He’d die before he told the Montessere royals anything about Gwyn.

“You’ll regret that, brute,” Gunnar snarled, beckoning for the heavy door to be opened. Azriel let his laugh trail after the king like one of his shadows, silenced only when the heavy, iron door slammed shut behind him. Mercifully, Azriel was alone.

He counted in his head, forcing himself to go slow even when he wanted to race through the numbers and free himself. He wasn’t going to show his hand only to end up shackled all over again. When he emerged, it would be like death itself.

And Azriel’s retribution would be vicious in its intensity.

No one came by the time he finished.

“Now,” he whispered to his shadows. They darted and swirled around him, slipping through the cracks of the locks holding him. He heard them whispering to each other before the locks clicked and he was freed, knees buckling beneath the full weight of his body. It was tempting to sink to the floor and regain himself and Azriel knew if he did, he might not get back up.

All he wanted was to sleep. His wing burned from the wound, still knitting itself together. He’d be able to fly on it, but it would be excruciating. Telling himself he’d suffered far worse, Azriel pushed his way into the dungeon to follow the sounds of pleadings and screams. Helion might have been content to leave this female behind, but Azriel was not.

“Cover me,” he murmured, fading into the darkness as his shadows obscured his form. All Azriel would allow himself to focus on was escape, forcing him to push all thoughts of Gwyn aside. She would be fine, he told himself. He’d trained her well. And still, fear tried to grip his heart, icy cold and unyielding. She’d suffered enough and he’d sworn no more harm would come to her.

He’d failed her already. No wonder she couldn’t feel the bond between them. Maybe she recognized she deserved better than a male that couldn’t even keep her safe. Shaking his head, Azriel banished the thought. There would be time enough for her to break their mating bond but for now, she was stuck with him whether she liked him or not. All he needed to do was get out and find her—and bring her home.

But first, a little bloody revenge. Peering into the other holding cell, Azriel found the blonde hanging from the chains by her wrists, blood pooled around the white of her dress. She was merely whispering, “please stop,” over and over through raw, chapped lips. Even Azriel would have quit by then, satisfied she knew nothing of use. Now they cut at her simply for the sake of hurting her—a lazy brutality Azriel couldn’t abide by.

He didn’t need his dagger to kill the three males inside. All Azriel needed was his own hands, darting from the shadows to rip open their throats in a violent display of fury. The Day Court female didn’t scream, lifting her head to watch with what he swore was approval. Perhaps this was revenge for her, too—though in truth, Azriel only thought of his own anger, his own retribution.

“We need to go,” Azriel told her once three headless bodies lay broken at his feet. He didn’t dare look at the heads, uninterested in seeing the bloody pulp that remained. There was enough tissue splattered against the wall, besides. No one would be getting up anytime soon.

“Arina,” she whispered, crumpling into his arms once she’d been freed. Azriel merely hauled her up against his chest, undeterred by her weakness. He merely strode out, snatching up his dagger from a nearby table as he did. It was almost laughable how easy it was to get outside, slipping through a servants door in the wall straight into a courtyard.

Of course, the sight of the pair of them sent everyone into a frenzy, but Azriel was as quick as he’d ever been. Groaning slightly, he kicked off the ground before anyone got within a hundred yards of him, airborne before they could scramble for arrows. He’d told himself he was prepared for the pain, for the strain his injured wing felt beneath their combined weights.

He needed only to get far enough away he could winnow.

“You’re falling!” Arina cried, arms around his neck.

“Stop talking,” Azriel ordered, aware his voice sounded disoriented. With his vision blurred at the edges, Azriel took them higher into the clouds, blinking against the blinding sun overhead. Wind pushed them along, helped by the female he carried. He wanted to thank her for blowing it against his dripping face but his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth.

They weren’t going to make it.

Screwing up his face, Azriel thought of home. He thought of Rhys and Cassian drinking on the steps to the River House, laughing in a heap over some inappropriate joke. He saw Feyre holding Nyx who fisted at her hair, a smudge of blue paint on her cheek. Mor was there, grinning ear to ear while Amren scowled, telling Mor of all the ways he, Cass, and Rhys had been a disappointment in recent days. He saw Nesta sitting just inside, one leg crossed while the other bounced, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

And he saw Gwyn, perched on the edge of Nesta’s chair, talking a million miles a minute to Emerie, who was seemingly the only person in the world who could understand every word spilling from her lips.

Home. Azriel thought about home.

Take me home.

Shadow enveloped them both, sending them careening wildly before they collapsed against grass in a graceless heap. Blinking, Azriel recognized the hazy mountains half hidden in fog in the distance. And he recognized the female voice crying his name.

“Azriel,” Feyre cried, her soft hands touching his face. “Get Rhys—bring me the High Lord—!”

Her words blurred along with his vision and try as he might, Azriel couldn’t get any of the words out. He could feel her soft presence in his mind, could hear her speaking to him.

Show me what happened, Az, Feyre murmured lovingly, fingers still caressing his cheek. Let me in.

Rhys would have merely shattered Azriel’s defenses but Feyre, ever cognizant of what it felt like to have no choice at all. She’d let him take his secrets to the grave if he wanted and would have advocated for Rhys to leave him be, as she’d done so many times before. Azriel let her in gratefully, rolling onto his back while Feyre pressed something wet to his lips.

It was blood.

He tried to push her away but the High Lady ordered, “Drink,” and Azriel’s body complied before he could balk. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Azriel remembered her blood was the very same that ran through Thesan and Feyre was trying to heal him. He was too focused by her presence in his mind, flipping through the day's events frantically.

“It doesn’t make sense,” she whispered just as she stumbled into Azriel’s memories with Gwyn. He snarled without meaning to, elicting a louder, angrier roar from the descending High Lord.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” Feyre breathed as Rhys dropped to his knees beside them. “I should have—oh, but Az that’s so wonderful—I should have asked first, I didn’t know, didn’t think…”

“I want her back,” Azriel whispered, his consciousness fading. Forcing himself to look Feyre in the eye, Azriel said, “I want her back.”

It was the last thing he remembered.

GWYN:

“You don’t have to do this, Eris,” Gwyn said for what must have been the millionth time that day. “Just let me go. I won’t tell anyone anything.”

“Liar,” Eris replied smoothly, fingers grazing the small of her back as he pushed her forward.

“You’ll regret this,” she warned, certain Azriel must be awake by then. Was he looking for her? Did he even care?

Yes, she thought firmly. Even if he didn’t know what she was to him, Gwyn was certain her disappearance would matter to him. Even if his only fear centered around Nesta’s fury, Gwyn believed Azriel would come for her.

“You’re not the only one with loved ones on the line. The easier you make this, the faster we can be done with the entire thing,” Eris warned, stopping her before two massive, wooden doors carved with an image of a terrifying dragon bellowing fire. The Vanserra crest? She couldn’t ask Eris, though she wouldn’t have even if she’d had the time. The only thing Gwyn wanted to ask Eris was where his heart—if he had one—was so she could rip it from his chest and shove it down his throat.

Eris was bringing her to Beron Vanserra. Seated atop a massive, hollowed out oak tree, the High Lord of Autumn was a terrifying sight. The rest of his sons stood just beside him, stairstepped in height leading up to the dais their father was perched atop. The Lady of Autumn sat beside him in a smaller, less ostentatious throne and crowned in burnished leaves wrapped around her pretty, auburn hair.

She leaned forward when Gwyn was pushed in, russet eyes shining. Gwyn searched her features for a moment, looking for anything of Catrin only to be left wholly empty. Their mother had always said Catrin came from Spring—moody and turbulent—and Gwyn from Autumn—firey and brash. She could see herself in the Lady of Autumn which did nothing to temper the fear running rampant through her.

Beron Vanserra didn’t move when Gwyn arrived at the foot of the dais. She wasn’t so rebellious she couldn’t bow, a show of self-preservation rather than deference. Eris’ knee hit the wood floor beneath them, eyes averted while Gwyn remained on her feet.

Rhysand was her High Lord—there was no law that said she was required to reside where her ancestors had, and no law that forced her to acknowledge a foreign High Lord as her own. Beron must have wondered, too, because he barked out, “Kneel.” The punch of magic made her chest ache though Gwyn was able to withstand the onslaught and remain as she was.

“Why am I here?” she asked, terrified to look up.

“My sister,” the Lady of Autumn breathed to the room of Vanserra’s, “had a son.”

Gwyn only sighed.

“He died in the war,” the Lady continued, her voice rich with her regret. “They all did. I thought they’d all been lost and then Eris said…”

Gwyn dared to look up at her, wishing this could be a happier reunion. All she could think about was Azriel—did he think she’d left him? That the night they’d spent together meant nothing to her and she was merely bored? The fear she might hurt him clawed at her chest, making her desperate to return to him. Maybe once things were settled on the continent and with her mate, she could return to Autumn and sort the entire mess of her lineage out.

“You’re certain she was Cyra’s?” Beron Vanserra asked his wife, his voice softening around the edges.

“I’m certain.”

“Then she stays,” Beron announced, not bothering to consult with Gwyn at all. A scream all but erupted in her throat, swallowed when Eris’s hand snaked beneath her dress to squeeze her ankle in warning. Shut up, he warned silently. Gwyn did as she was told, daring to look up at the High Lord. “At least until we can make a proper exchange for her. Give her comfortable accommodations and instruct her on how females conduct themselves within the walls of the Forest House.”

And that was that. Gwyn was swept out of the room by Eris, fingertips pressed into the small of her back. Neither of them spoke until they were back in the hall, and when Gwyn attempted to tell Eris where he could shove his hospitality, he said, “Watch your mouth.”

“You don’t know what I was going to say,” she replied, petulant and frustrated.

“I know that look on your face,” Eris replied smoothly, running a hand through his perfect hair. “You should be thanking me.”

“Thanking you for what? Kidnapping me? Holding me captive while you try and hold your brother captive? Rhysand will never—”

“Shut your fucking mouth,” Eris hissed as they passed a group of silent courtiers, all staring at the pair. Fine, she thought, privately seething. Gwyn said nothing until Eris all but shoved her into a bed chamber she didn’t bother observing. All she saw was a glass door leading toward the woods and the escape route she’d take the moment Eris stopped talking.

“You can’t say whatever you want here. People are listening,” he told her, fingers curled around her upper arm as he led her deeper into the room. “You can do nothing but sit here and wait. If you do what I know you’re thinking about, twelve dogs will rip you to pieces before you ever get close to another Court's borders. There won’t be enough pieces to burn.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Gwyn threatened, rounding on him.

“You can get the fuck in line,” Eris retorted hotly, cheeks flushed red with anger. “I’ll be dead before you ever get your turn. I saved you from the wrath of Montessere.”

“Why?”

Eris merely stared her down. “My reasons are my own. There is no where to go—”

“When Azriel finds out—”

“He can get in line, too. Right behind you,” Eris all but snarled, turning his head angrily. “I left things behind, too. People I—” he took a breath rather than betray himself. “All in due time.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“I don’t care,” Eris replied in that irritating way of his. “If you make me chase you down tonight, you’ll live to regret it—”

“No, Eris Vanserra, you will live to regret bringing me here,” she retorted, rising to her full height. It didn’t intimidate him in the slightest but Gwyn meant every word she said. She had never bowed before the whims of more powerful men, even if it meant endangering her own life. She wasn’t about to start now, either. Eris had taken it upon himself to get her out, but Gwyn needed to go back. She needed to get Azriel and she needed answers.

What had that creature been? There had been no time to truly think about it given how quickly everything happened and yet Gwyn knew she was close. It had been that damn Day Court scholars fault, really—if she hadn’t stolen Gwyn’s cipher, Gwyn would have gotten back into bed with Azriel and everything would be fine.

Maybe even Kai would be alive.

“I already regret bringing you here,” Eris grumbled, turning his back on her. “Don’t try and leave, Gwyn. I swear to the Mother above, you will not make it out alive and I do not want problems with Night.”

Eris turned to leave, confident he’d gotten the last word. Gwyn wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. Eris didn’t know to be afraid of her—yet. But she knew he was afraid.

“He’s my mate,” she whispered, delighted when Eris froze, his whole body going taut. “And when he finds you…”

Gwyn didn’t need to say. Eris merely glanced over his shoulder, strange look on his face. “Then he knows how I feel right now.” Eris still got the last word, cryptic as it was. Gwyn didn’t have it in her to care, either. Whatever inner turmoil he had wasn’t her problem. Maybe she would have cared had he come to her as a cousin interested in reconnecting rather than kidnapping her. Gwyn merely waited, deciding she’d do what Eris had warned her not to, and make a break for it.

Pacing, Gwyn waited for the sun to set. She ignored servants who slipped in and out, turning down her bed and fussing with her clothes and hair in an attempt to make her look nice. Gwyn was impatient with the whole affair—how did people like Eris stand it? She imagined this was the life Nesta had once been used to. Gwyn could picture imperious Nesta here, looking down her nose at everyone and making even the terrible Eris Vanserra shake in his expensive, polished boots.

No one had ever waited on her hand and foot—she’d always been responsible for herself. As nice as it would have been to be doted on, she didn’t think she could stand a lifetime of people bowing and scraping.

The moment the moon replaced the sun, Gwyn yanked open the door that led outside. Cool air curled around her face, the smell of it all wrong. Perhaps her grandfather had lived here, and some memory of this place lingered in her blood. It wasn’t strong enough to make her want to stay, or to feel like home. She felt like an intruder, an outsider trapped among the rot. She was a shadow among the leaves, ancient among new death.

And she wasn’t alone. Gwyn made it to the treeline with massive wings spread themselves out, blotting out the sliver of moonlight spilling among the grass.

Emerie grinned at her as Nesta appeared, sword casual over her shoulder. “Heard you needed a rescue.”

Gwyn’s relief was palpable. “You found me.”

“Did you doubt us?” Nesta asked, pulling Gwyn into a hug.

“Never,” Gwyn said, blinking rapidly against the hard leather covering Nesta’s shoulder. “But I was starting to worry.”

“Well, cast your worries aside because the cavalry has arrived,” Emerie said, resting her chin atop Gwyn’s head.

“Will you take me home?” Gwyn asked them.

Emerie and Nesta held out their hands and Gwyn took them like a lifeline.

“Let’s go.”

#gwynriel #now i get to nap

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bwabys-scenarios · 1 year

Text

Reunited

Part 23

Illumi x Reader x ??????

part 22

part 24

A/N: so feitan may seem OOC and that’s only because he’s already gone through most of his character development. The next few chapters will delve into Reader and Feitan’s backstory :3

taglist: @tsukilover11 @mercyboluthecrazychicken @sxyriii @merinfawleygoestohogwarts @shidoni-san @living4tomrua @lemonslut @honeylunalove

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, comment a ❤️, make sure you can be mentioned/tagged, and have your age in your bio!(this fic is 18+)

(Name) steadied her basket against her hip, humming to herself as she walked down the street. She stopped every few minutes, pretending to check the wares of a market stall, but she was focusing on tracking auras.

Her grumpy friend had told her his friends were tough, but she didn’t think she’d have that much trouble finding them. She’d been walking around for an hour, slowly reaching the edge of town before she had noticed.

(Name) looked over the vast expanse of empty land, stepping off of the paved path to venture out. She made sure the lid of her basket was firmly shut before she began walking.

If a band of thieves would be anywhere, it would be in the middle of nowhere.

(Name) hadn’t ever asked what his group was called, and she didn’t really want to know. Being friends with him was easy when she didn’t know the extent of his crimes, and she wanted to keep it that way.

Was it selfish, and morally wrong? Maybe, but (Name) wasn’t one to judge people for their ways of life, unless it was someone like Hisoka. Now he gave her the creeps.

The farther she walked, the more sure she was that she could sense one of the men’s aura. He was the boss of her friend, a man named Chrollo.

They had first met when Chrollo came to fetch her friend. He said he owed her, but she refused to accept that. After all, saving her friends life wasn’t something she saw as a debt. Even if she hadn’t befriended the grumpy man, she didn’t view people’s lives as transactions.

(Name) saw a building in the distance, the aura growing stronger with each step she took. She kept her own aura calm, not performing any nen.

When she finally reached the building, (name) felt a hand on her shoulder.

“What are you doing so far from town, Miss?”

(Name)’s grip on her basket tightened. The voice belonged to a woman, one she didn’t recognize. She’d only met male members so far, so the woman wouldn’t know her either.

“I’m a friend of Chrollo.”

The woman’s grip on her shoulder loosened for just a moment, before returning. “I see.”

Pakunoda had looked into the girl’s memories, and knew she was telling the truth. She kept her grip on her shoulder as she led (Name) inside. “Don’t make any sudden movements.”

(Name) nodded her head in response, allowing the woman to lead her to the center of the building.

“My name is Pakunoda. Your friend will be arriving tonight.” She informed (Name).

“I know. I’m a bit impatient.”

“I can see.”

Light trickled into the dark room, a few figures visible.

“Oh, Pakunoda- wait, who is that?”

A blonde man approached the two, leaning down to get a better look at (Name)‘s face. She backed up a bit, Pakunoda squeezing her shoulder lightly to get her to stay still.

“She is a friend. Pakunoda, you can release her.”

Pakunoda did so immediately, (Name) reaching up to rub her shoulder. The woman must not know her strength, because (Name)’s shoulder ached from the pressure of her hand.

“Chrollo! Oh it’s been ages!”

(Name) waved, walking forward slightly before someone stood in her way. Another blonde, taller than the previous one, stood between her and chrollo.

“(Name).” He stated, staring down at the girl. She gasped, a smile appearing on her face.

“Phinks!”

She gave him a quick hug, laughing. “Did you get even taller? Oh my gosh!”

She pulled away, happily patting his arm. The man didn’t react much, only giving her a small smile. “You shouldn’t get too close to the boss, some of the members don’t know you well enough yet.”

(Name) glanced around the room. There were a few faces she didn’t recognize, a small creature, the blonde from before, a man covered in bandages, and a girl with short black hair.

Then there we another familiar face.

“Uvo, is that you?”

She left Phinks side, the beast of a man stepping forward. “The one and only, doll face. Forgiven me yet?”

She scoffed, pulling out a bag containing 10 large cookies. “You ate three of my chickens. Alive. It’s not that you aren’t forgiven, I’m just still perplexed on how you didn’t get salmonella.”

The man took the bag, cheering childishly. “Ahh, (Name)‘s home cooking. What’s the occasion?”

He had ignored her statement, deciding to toss multiple cookies into his mouth at once. She put her hands on her hips, a grin on her lips.

“Can’t I just treat some friends to some snacks?” She asked, before pausing.

“Oh, wait. I need to introduce myself!”

She set her basket down, making sure it was out of Uvogin’s reach.

“Hello, I’m (Name). I met one of your comrades after he was injured. I took care of him, and we became friends. He told me you would be meeting up in York New, so I decided to visit! Oh, and I brought treats!”

The girl busied herself with pulling out the various baked goods, not noticing the people around her whispering.

“Pakunoda, is she really not a threat?” Bonolenov asked, glancing at the girl. Pakunoda nodded, leaning against the wall.

“She tells the truth. The girl is not to be harmed, unless you want to piss off the boss and-“

Shalnark watched as (Name) cleared off a section of the floor, Uvogin lifting and tossing large debris at her command.

‘Interesting, she knows quite a few of us. The boss seems to like her as well.’

He watched her spread out a pink and white checkered picnic blanket, humming to herself as she set out several plates of treats.

“(Name), I assume he told you to wait to see him until tomorrow.”

The entire group quieted when Chrollo spoke. He had approached the girl, standing a few feet away. (Name) looked up, pursing her lips.

“Well… I may have gone against his wishes and followed your aura here…”

Chrollo smirked, crouching down in front of her. “Oh, have you learned nen? Is he aware of that?”

She nodded, lifting a plate of cookies to him. “Yes, but I haven’t told him my ability yet.”

The troupe watched in mild shock as Chrollo took a cookie, taking a bite before continuing.

“Mm, that’s probably for the best. It’s smart to keep your ability and class a secret. Some people can use it against you.”

Chrollo finished his treat and peered into the basket, (Name) noticing and opening it wider.

“Don’t worry, I brought the jam you like. I made it just before I left home, so it’s fresh!”

Chrollo took the jar, nodding in approval. “Thank you. I was surprised when he called me saying you sent me a package of jam and syrup because you heard my birthday was in autumn.” He hummed, giving her a once over.

She was an interesting girl, and he owed her a great deal for saving a fellow spiders life, even if she didn’t want to be repaid.

Uvogin laid out across the blanket, snacking on the various baked goods, but there was something else in the basket she hadn’t taken out.

“(Name), what else is in the basket?”

Chrollo already knew, having seen it when she’d opened the lid.

“Oh, it’s a birthday cake, but that’s off limits, so don’t eat it. That means you, Uvo.”

The large man waved his hand dismissively. “I won’t. Rather not get beat with your shoe again.” he teased. (Name) turned red, smacking his thigh lightly.

“Ugh, I told you not to tell people about that. I still feel awful! Though you did deserve it…”

Shalnark took a seat next to the girl. After witnessing Chrollo be so calm around her, he saw no need to be weary.

“So, tell me, who exactly are you here for?”

——————

As the sky darkened, the late group began approaching the designated building for their hide out.

“I sense another presence in the building, one that doesn’t belong to any of the spiders.” Nobunaga stated, his hand on the hilt of his sword.

Machi hummed. “Probably a hostage. Maybe that’s why we were summoned. Feitan, looks like you have some work to do.”

The man was quiet, simply following behind the two. He could sense the presence as well, but it felt weirdly familiar. Maybe it was someone out for revenge? Oftentimes when the troupe stole, many lives were taken. A loved one of the deceased could have come seeking revenge.

The soft sound of laughter could be heard through the building, Feitan recognized Uvogin’s hearty laugh almost instantly. There was also a soft feminine voice speaking along with him. It was just soft enough that he couldn’t place who it belonged to, but recognized it.

“It seems they’ve arrived.”

Chrollo closed the book he’d been reading, causing (Name) to jump. She had been exchanging numbers with Shalnark before he spoke, the two becoming quick friends.

“Oh!” (Name) turned around, looking out the door to see several figures standing in the doorway.

As they stepped into the light, (Name)’s face lit up, jumping up into a standing position.

“Oh, does that presence belong to this girl? Hmm.” Machi stated, giving her a once over.

“(Name).”

Feitan stood a few feet in front of her, his eyes wide and confused. Why was she here, and why was Shalnark sitting so close to her?

(Name) stood and brushed off the skirt of her dress. It was a plain white summer dress, but it hugged all the right curves and showed off a bit too much cleavage, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by some members of the troupe. Including Feitan.

She walked forward, pulling Feitan into a hug and giving his a light squeeze.

“Feitan! I missed you so much!”

The entire group stated on in shock as she planted a kiss on his cheek, squeezing the man tightly.

‘Oh dear, she’s dead. And we just became friends too.’ Shalnark thought, getting ready to delete her contact from his phone.

But no one was ready for what happened next.

Instead of ripping her heart out or throwing her to the ground, Feitan’s hands awkwardly patted her back, a tired sigh leaving his lips. He was obviously flustered from the kiss, but hid it well enough.

“Missed you too.”

—————

It took everyone a minute to recover, their attention kept firmly on the girl in front of them.

“Told you to stay at condo.” Feitan mumbled, rubbing his cheek. “Dangerous.”

“You know I hate waiting. Besides, I got here fine on my own, didn’t I?”

She gave him her signature smile, the man sighing. “We talk about it later. Introduce yourself, they don’t know you.”

The girl nodded, approaching the middle of the room.

“Hi, I’m (Name). Some of you know me already, but I’m Fei’s friend. We met a few years ago after he was injured in a battle. I found him, nursed him back to health, and now we meet up when we can!”

She smiled sweetly. It was a lot to take in. Feitan was a quiet and cold man, ruthless in nature. It was hard to imagine him befriending such a sweet girl. Especially when she seemed so… soft. In both the physical, and emotional sense.

Feitan kept the girl close to him. Although he didn’t touch her, his eyes stayed on her figure, only glancing up when Chrollo began to speak.

“Treat her like one of our own. (Name) has my respect.”

(Name) blushed, waving her hand dismissively. “Oh, Chrollo, I told you I’m not worthy of your respect. I didn’t do anything special.”

Chrollo shook his head, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Taking care of a person for three months isn’t something to sneeze at.”

He addressed the troupe, smiling. “(Name) has prepared snacks, they are safe to eat. Enjoy them while we wait for Hisoka.”

(Name) froze at the mention of Hisoka’s name. ‘Hisoka will be here? I mean, I knew Fei and him were connected somehow, but I was hoping he wouldn’t show up.’

She sat down, handing out cookies and chocolates to the members that approached. Shalnark was the first, sitting next to her again and taking a cookie from her hand.

Feitan didn’t sit down, but he stood near (Name), watching over her interactions with his fellow spiders. Just his eyes on them was enough of a warning to not try anything funny. It’s not like they would, considering Chrollo gave her such high praise, but Feitan… worried.

He hadn’t planned on EVER introducing (Name) to the entire Troupe. Sure she’d met a few of them out of necessity, but that was where he wanted to leave it.

“Fei, are you gonna try some?”

(Name had scooted closer to him, offering him a piece of dark chocolate.

“Try later. Tomorrow.”

She gave him a small pout, but her expression quickly changed when the chocolate was eaten out of her hand by Shalnark.

“Man, Feitan, you’re missing out, this is great!”

He reached over her lap for another, but quickly pulled away when he made eye contact with Feitan.

‘Hmm! He sure is giving me a good death glare!’

Feitan, brushed his hand against the handle of his umbrella, his eyes never leaving (Name). She seemed oblivious to the staring, chatting along with Shalnark and Uvogin.

“Yeah, she finally had her babies! Fei, do you wanna see the pictures?”

“Already showed me.”

(Name) had pulled out her phone and started showing the group pictures of her cat Tammy and her kittens. Pakunoda seemed particularly interested, (Name) promising the woman that she could meet her cats someday.

Feitan had already received his fair share of pictures and videos.

“Aww, but this one looks just like you!”

Feitan raised an eyebrow at this. Shalnark gasped, pulling her phone closer. “Oh wow, it really does. Haha, Fei we’ve found your twin!”

Feitan rolled his eyes, strolling over to (Name) and holding his hand out. “Oh? Here.”

She handed him her phone, the man scrolling through her pictures to see the cat she had been talking about.

It was a small black kitten with a white puff on its chest, resembling a skull. It had the prettiest gray eyes, stretched out on its back to expose its tummy.

“…”

He kept scrolling, pausing when he came across the image of her with another man. He was tall, with long black hair and piercing dark eyes. The man had a hand on her waist, pulling her in closer, (Name) smiling.

“Who this?”

Feitan turned the screen to (Name), trying to hide the jealousy bubbling up in his chest. She leaned forward and narrowed her eyes to get a better look.

“Oh! That’s the guy who kidnapped me!”

“Kidnapped?” Chrollo asked with a tilt of his head. “I wasn’t made aware that you had been kidnapped, (Name).”

She laughed, Feitan huffing. “Oh, well kidnapping is an exaggeration. We fought in the exam, he threatened to kill my friend, I was like NOO! Then he knocked me out and I woke up in the infirmary. He was like “grrr you owe me a favor”. And well darn, I don’t really wanna be in debt to an assassin, so I went with him!”

She said this as if it were the funniest thing in the world, but the troupe just stared at her in a mix of shock and intrigue.

“(Name), I think you were just kidnapped.” Shalnark stated, flicking her forehead. “And an assassin? How exactly did you become indebted to him?”

“Oh, he saved my panties. Wait! That was someone else…”

“Didn’t tell that part.” Feitan said, pinching her cheek. “How that happen?”

“Ow! Okay so… the assassin trained me, and one morning he woke me up by throwing me in a river.”

He pinched harder. “Left that out too.”

“Hey I don’t have to tell you everything!” She swatted his hand away, crossing her arms over her chest. “Anyways, I hung out my clothes to dry and had to walk around in a sports bra. Super uncomfortable but hey, not every outfit can be a winner.”

“Idiot.” Feitan slapped a hand over his forehead, groaning. He knew she was a bit ditzy, but he had assumed his sweet friend would at least have enough survival instincts to not walk around half naked during a Hunter exam. Now part of him wished he had joined her… of course to protect her, not for any other reason.

“Rude. So, of course, I had to hang my underwear up. The assassin said I shouldn’t, but gosh, maybe he shouldn’t have thrown me into a river! I saw a big fish, do you know how scary it is to come face to face with a fish underwater?? I don’t think so!”

“Off track.”

She blinked. “Oops, sorry. I met up with a friend of mine I made during the exam, and his badge was stolen, and so were my panties! Him and another guy I became friends with left and took back his badge and my underwear. It was my lucky pair, so I was really glad to have them back!”

She smiled triumphantly, brushing her hair out of her face. The building filled with laughter, none other than Chrollo himself being the source of it.

“Ahh, interesting as always. It’s never boring when you come around, (Name). Do you have any more stories of the exam?”

(Name) nodded excitedly. “Oh, plenty!”

———————

“And then Hisoka was like “tell anyone and you’re dead” or something! I don’t know I wasn’t really paying attention cuz my wrist hurt!”

She made a motion of grabbing her wrist, mocking Hisoka’s voice.

“… he hurt you?”

(Name) froze, sensing a change in Feitan’s aura. She’d only ever felt something like that once before, when she’d been attacked in her home when she was caring for Feitan.

“Already dislike. Should teach him a lesson.”

“Feitan.”

The man’s aura calmed when Chrollo spoke up, flipping a page of his book. “You know the rules. I’ll talk with Hisoka about his behavior, so don’t worry about it.”

Feitan just nodded, staring at her wrist. It had healed completely, but just the knowledge that she’d felt pain because of Hisoka made him sick.

“Fei, don’t worry. It doesn’t hurt.”

She said this in a whisper, leaning closer to him. He’d finally taken a seat at the picnic blanket, though he wasn’t exactly relaxed at the moment. It was hard to concentrate on her words however, when she was so close to him. The man only tsked, pushing her head away. “Whatever.”

As the night went on, (Name) started to become visibly tired. Her eyes fluttered close and her head began to lean forward before she’d jump awake, answering whatever question Shalnark had asked.

Although weary, most of the group didn’t seem to mind (Name)’s presence. She had that kind of magnetic personality that pulled people closer to her, the kindness she gave out so freely being the pulling force.

Several of the spiders had joined the picnic, including Pakunoda, Shizuku, and Nobunaga(due to Uvogin’s urging). (Name) stayed by Feitan’s side, partially because she wanted to and also because he was keeping a good grip on her arm.

Her, Pakunoda, and Shalnark were getting along great. She had even exchanged numbers with Pakunoda like she did with Shalnark, immediately sending the woman all the pictures of her cats she had available.

As she once again dozed off, she was awoken by Feitan catching her, the man growling. “If tired, go home. Late.”

“Mmm…” she nodded, sleepily leaning against his shoulder and passing out again.

“…”

Phinks couldn’t help but snicker. I mean, who wouldn’t laugh seeing their usually cold friend being used as a pillow by a girl he was obviously interested in.

Feitan moved (Name) so she was resting her head on his lap, allowing himself to run his fingers through her hair for just a second.

—————

After Hisoka joined and they had their meeting, (Name) stirred, opening her eyes.

“Ah, what time is it?”

“Late.”

(Name) looked up to see Feitan, the realization that she was laying in his lap dawning on her. “Oh no. I should probably head home.”

She stood, collecting her basket, but leaving everything but the cake behind. “I’ll visit again some other time, please enjoy the baked goods. I have more at home, so these are all for you!”

(Name) yawned and began walking out the door, before being stopped by Hisoka.

“Going alone?”

The girl paused at the sound of his voice, glancing in the magician’s direction. “Yes?”

“Mmm, that’s unfortunate. I heard that York New is swarmed with the mafia because of the auction. Could be dangerous for a little thing like you to be out and about.”

(Name) turned slightly to meet the magician’s gaze. “I’m not defenseless anymore. I can handle it.”

“I go with you.”

(Name) hadn’t even noticed Feitan had snuck up behind her until he was grabbing her basket. “You don’t have to, I’m-“

“Shut up. Not busy tonight.”

“I thought you would be busy the night of September 1st?”

“(Name). It’s August 31st.”

She paused. “Oh. I knew that.”

——————

Shalnark watched the pair leave, turning to Phinks once they were out of earshot. “So… is that his girlfriend or something?”

Phinks let out a laugh. “No, not even close, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Feitan wishes she was. You saw the way he was watching her, right? Never seen him look at a person like that before.”

Shalnark hummed, looking down at her contact. “She’s cute. What do you think she sees in Feitan? A girl like her doesn’t seem like the type to hang around criminals.”

Phinks stopped laughing. He leaned against the wall, peeking out the window to watch the two walk into town. “You just met her, so keep your thoughts to yourself. (Name) ain’t the type to care about whether we steal or not. She’s got a good heart, and it seems she’s willing to let Feitan take up some space in it. I think he deserves to have someone care about him like that.”

Shalnark rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, closing his phone. “Oops, my bad. I guess I don’t know her.”

The blonde smiled. “But I think I will by the end of our stay.”

——————

“Fei, don’t walk so fast!” (Name) whined out.

The two had finally reached town, and despite it being late the streets were crowded. Feitan wasn’t a big fan of people, so he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Ouch!”

Because she was rushing to catch up with Feitan, (Name)’s foot caught on an uneven patch of concrete. She fell and scraped her knee, struggling to get back up before she got trampled.

The feeling of a hand grabbing hers caused her to look up. Feitan looked down at her with an unreadable expression, pulling her to her feet.

“Always trip. What, I gotta hold your hand like kid?”

(Name) huffed. He really seemed to enjoy teasing her. “No. I can walk by myself.”

Despite saying this, she kept her hand in his, allowing him to guide her through the throngs of people. He could feel her body heat through her hand, stealing a glance at her smiling face.

Once the pair finally arrived at her condo, she opened the door and invited him in. “Chrollo said you aren’t busy tonight, so why not stay? The bed is b-“

“Not sleeping in same bed.”

Feitan took a seat on the couch, crossing his legs as she set her basket on the table. “Aww, but you didn’t have any trouble sleeping with me last t-“

The man shot her a glare, silencing her. “You the one scared by storm.”

“Yeah, but I seem to remember a certain someone holding my hand while I slept!”

“You grabbed me. Strangely strong grip for girl.”

(Name) was the one to glare at him this time. “Whatever. That doesn’t matter, but…”

She opened the basket to reveal a small cake, covered in vanilla frosting and topped with big strawberries. “Happy Birthday!”

Feitan froze as a memory replayed in his head.

flashback

“You don’t have a birthday?”

“No. Don’t remember.”

The two sat on the porch of (Name)‘a home. Feitan relaxed against the porch swing, staring at the river. “Oh. That’s unfortunate…”

A few days passed, (Name) being weirdly secretive about something. She’d been coming to and from town, baking something she wouldn’t allow him to see.

“What are you hiding?”

(Name) nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Feitan whisper into her ear. “Hey! I thought I told you to stop sneaking up on me! I’m gonna pee my pants one day and I WILL make it your problem.”

He only rolled his eyes, glancing over her shoulder to peek at what she was making.

It was a small cake, with the words “Happy Birthday Feitan” written in messy icing. He was taken aback, physically backing away.

“Why?”

All he could do was ask her why. He hadn’t been the kindest to her during his stay, so why did she feel the need to make him such a thing? He couldn’t understand.

“I just felt like it. Everyone deserves to have a day where their birth is celebrated. I’m happy you were born, Feitan.”

Those words went straight to his heart, the man immediately leaving the house. He had trouble processing the way he felt, walking alongside the river until long after sunset. The cool night breeze helped to cool off his red face.

When he returned, the house had been decorated, with his favorite meal set out on the table. It was late, but (Name) sat at the table, looking up with a big smile when he returned.

“Happy Birthday, Feitan!”

flashback end

Feitan was much more relaxed with (Name), but her affection and care for him still unnerved the man. She quickly set the cake on the counter, sticking a few candles into it.

“Ah, darn. Forgot a lighter.”

Before she could rush out the door to go find one, Feitan flicked his own lighter on. “Have one.”

He lit the candles, (Name) offering him a seat after he finished.

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to youuu~ Happy Birthday dear Feitannnn~ Happy Birthday fo you!”

He waited patiently for her to finish her song before blowing out the candles.

“What did you wish for?”

“Not supposed to tell. Said it yourself, remember?”

She gasped, nodding before pulling out the candles to cut the cake.

He only had one wish, and that was…

‘Keep this idiot safe.’

(Name) walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her hair and wearing a nightgown. Feitan wore a pair of sweatpants and a black hoodie, lounging around on the couch after his own shower.

After his long stay with her, (Name) packed a few pairs of his clothes with her whenever she left to meet up with him, knowing he didn’t often pack extra outfits himself.

“Mmm, Fei, imma head to bed. If you get hungry there’s food in the fridge. Goodnight!”

He watched her close her bedroom door behind her before he responded.

“Night.”

Feitan rested his hand against his cheek, his ears turning pink. He didn’t want to admit how much he liked the lingering feeling of her lips, but now that he was alone he could allow himself to enjoy it.

“Stupid girl. Doesn’t understand how much I restrain myself.”

He laid down, pulling the soft pink blanket she’d provided him up to his chin. Hearing the sound of her soft breathing in the next room lulled him into a peaceful sleep.

——————

“Do you think you’ll ever find the one?”

Feitan stared at Shalnark from the corner of his eye. “The one? Meaning?”

The blonde laughed, leaning his cheek into the palm of his hand. “The one you’ll fall in love with. Like, a girlfriend.”

Feitan scoffed. He turned the page of his book and frowned. “Don’t believe in that.”

“Hmm, really. That’s a shame.”

“Feitan, Feitan!”

Feitan opened his eyes to see (Name) leaning over him, her finger poking his cheek. He was quick to slap her hand away, the girl yelping. “Okay, rude. I’ve been trying to wake you up for like 5 minutes. Breakfast is ready.”

He groaned, lifting himself up into a sitting position. “What’s the time?”

“It’s only 7 am. I know you like to wake up early.”

She set a cup of coffee and plate of pancakes in front of him before sitting down and starting on her own serving.

There was a small bowl of chopped fruits in between the two, which (Name) dipped a spoon into. “Get as much as you want. I’m not gonna be able to eat all of this.”

He didn’t say anything, his mouth was already full of pancakes. She tried not to giggle at his big cheeks, turning her attention to her food.

“So, what are your plans for today?” She asked.

“Nothing. Walking around town.”

(Name) glanced up, a smile pulling at her lips. “Oh? Then you’re free?”

“If boss doesn’t need me, yeah.”

She clapped her hands together, smiling down at the man. “Let’s go on a date, then!”

A/N: the next few chapters will go into feitan and (Name)’s history!!

198 notes · View notes

clarisse0o · 2 months

Text

Camp Wiegman-Part 17

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 5k

TW: Alcohol , mention of drugs

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Saturday, November 14; 1:25 PM - Home

I helped Sam and Sofia clear the plates. They were so surprised by my initiative that they didn’t dare say anything. I guess my punishments in the cafeteria paid off. I’ve handled hundreds of plates, so four won’t kill me. I sent Joan upstairs to get ready for three o’clock. It was a bit of a struggle because he didn’t want to let go of me, but I eventually managed. After all, we don’t need to rush. I wanted to enjoy my stay by spending some time alone in the garden. I put on my shoes and my military jacket before heading out. I walked to the back, away from prying eyes, and sat on the perfectly trimmed grass, even though it was wet from the humidity. I smiled as I let my fingers trail over the plaque in front of me.

“Hey, Dad. It’s been a while, huh?”

It had been a long time since I’d been here. The last time was a month and a half ago, the day before I left. Nothing has changed. They didn’t even remove the flowers I’d left. Proof that no one has been here since. I pulled my knees close and wrapped my arms around them. I stared at the photo on the plaque. I remembered it like it was yesterday, the fuss I made to my mom to set up a memorial place. He’s not really here. His grave is in Portugal. I needed an accessible place, and for once, she understood.

“Sorry I didn’t come sooner,” I murmured. “Let’s just say Mom outdid herself this time,” I chuckled nervously. “I regret that you’re not here to throw a wrench in her plans.”

It might seem strange to some, but I’ve gotten used to coming here to confide. My dad was always my confidant, and I didn’t want to lose that habit, even if he’s no longer here in flesh and blood. This place allows me to clear my mind when I need to. I think it’s the right time to do that today.

“I’m in Manchester now, at a private school, kind of like a military school. Can you believe it? Me, in there?” I giggled. “Hard to believe, right? Yet, I’m still alive after a month and a half. It’s not that bad, actually. It’s just the idea that’s scary.”

I paused to gather my thoughts. If he were still here, he would never have let Mom put me in a place like that. He would have supported me and defended me to the end, knowing I didn’t want to go.

“It was really tough at first. You would’ve had a good laugh. I thought I could get myself expelled, but I met someone stronger than me. I have a personal instructor, and believe me, she makes my life impossible. She reminds me a lot of you,” I murmured.

I let my head fall on my knees and closed my eyes. The cool breeze hit my face. I took a deep breath. I needed to tell him. I needed to talk to someone about what I really think, and I knew this was the perfect place to do it.

“She’s fair in her choices and punishments. I had a hard time adjusting, but I adapted. It’s been a long time since I had someone authoritative like her on my back. She takes care of me and does everything to show me that I can succeed. She gives me confidence, like you did when you were still here. You always had the right words to lift my spirits.”

I sighed deeply. I missed him way too much. Tears formed at the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my hand.

“I’ve also made a lot of friends. New friends. They’re very nice to me. One even accepted me for who I am. Her name is Alexia. She knows I’m gay. She encouraged me to tell the others, and I did. They all took it very well. I feel at home and I trust them… But the one I trust the most is Lucy, my instructor. I really wish you could meet her, you would have loved her.”

I stopped talking and lifted my head when I heard someone call me. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. I sighed, dreading the next few minutes. I got up, not forgetting to place a kiss on my hand before putting it back on the plaque.

“I have to go, but I’ll try to come back tomorrow before I leave. I love you, Dad.”

I sensed my mother’s impatience as she called me in a less pleasant manner. I sighed and walked back to the house. As soon as I stepped through the patio door into the living room, I ran into her. She was sitting in a chair with her arms crossed and a stern look on her face. It seemed the three weeks without seeing me hadn’t calmed her down. She invited me to sit on the couch across from her. I sat down and waited for it to happen. I was about to get an earful… I looked up to see her analyzing me in detail. She stared into my eyes before finally speaking.

“I don’t understand you,” she began. “I really don’t understand how a girl like you, with so much potential, manages to ruin everything. I sent you to that school to give you a chance to start over! Why do you always feel the need to mess everything up!?”

“Stop,” I murmured.

“No, I won’t stop this time! Stop acting like a child, Ona! You never wanted my help, so I thought this school would be beneficial, but even being there, I realize you’ll never change! Will there never be a way to get my little girl back? You went to Manchester having used drugs, for heaven’s sake! Do you realize your immaturity?! Did you think about your loved ones for a single second? About how worried they are about you?!”

I clenched my fists. It’s the pot calling the kettle black! She didn’t give me time to respond and kept accusing me of worrying everyone. Mapi would have come here to check on me. I wasn’t really in a state to give her any news. Maybe I should have asked Bronze to do it for me, but I had other things on my mind. I let her get angry, taking in the hurtful words she hurled at me. Eventually, she stopped, and I took advantage of the moment to spill my own thoughts.

“It’s your fault I’m like this!” I raised my voice. “Stop blaming everything on me when you have your share of responsibility!”

“I don’t see why it should be my fault!” she snapped.

And there it was. The tone already escalated. We’d never manage to have a normal conversation together. We couldn’t stand each other. Our views were different, and there was clearly a lack of communication.

“You’re the one who decided to start your little life with your new family without caring about me once!”

“Stop always blaming me for the same things, Ona! You’re not the center of the world!”“

- I always blame you for the same things because you don’t understand! You don’t even realize that you’re pushing me aside!

- And you? You’ve never given me a place in your life! No matter how much I try to help you, you never accept me! I’ve tried to understand you, but you’re completely closed off! The girl I knew was full of life! She laughed and smiled all the time. She’s certainly not this teenager who constantly throws tantrums and makes mistakes!

- Here we go again. Do you even hear yourself? Have you ever once tried to find out the reasons behind my behavior?!

She looked at me, bewildered. She didn’t even know how to respond. Her silence spoke volumes. She never tried to understand. For once, she let me speak, so I took the opportunity to get everything off my chest.

- No, of course not! You never look beyond your own nose. You accuse me every time without thinking further. You don’t even ask if I’m really guilty!

- Oh Ona! Stop always exaggerating!

- Do you remember the time you were called in because I hit a girl at school? Well, that girl spent her time humiliating me in the playground. One day I’d had enough and I snapped. For you, there was no doubt who was at fault that day! You believed that poor little girl over your own child! And it’s still the same now! You never listen to me! I’m always the one at fault no matter what!

Just recounting it brought back memories from years ago. My mother was unable to respond. I didn’t plan to stop there. She deserved to know what I really thought.

- You talk as if you’re a victim, but you don’t know what it’s like to have no trust from your own mother! Do you want to know what happened that weekend? Well, I drank! I drank a lot because I needed it after being locked up for three weeks because of you! I even ran into Feli at the party, but you wouldn’t know that because you never take an interest in my life!

I calmed down when I saw Joan watching us from the stairs with a terrified look. I realized at that moment that I had stood up in anger. I clenched my fists and closed my eyes to calm down and take a deep breath after shouting. My mother still didn’t dare respond. When I looked at her again, I saw that she was stunned.

- Do you know what saddens me the most? It’s that at least in this camp, I made new friends who completely trust me. For the first time in my life, I was allowed to justify my actions. She not only gave me the benefit of the doubt, but she even convinced me it wasn’t my fault when I started to have doubts.

She didn’t seem to understand my words, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to explain the whole story to her; she wasn’t worth it. She should have asked me when the time was right.

- So now, before you try to change me, you should reassess your principles and be a good mother. Meanwhile, I’m going to do my big sister duty and take Joan to the ice rink.

I didn’t give her time to recover from her emotions as I walked toward Joan, who hadn’t taken his eyes off me. His terrified look had turned to sadness. I knew he didn’t like it when I argued with our mother. He had already heard so much from our exchanges that I understood. I held out my arms to him, and he didn’t hesitate to come to me.

- I promised we’d go this afternoon, didn’t I?

- I don’t like it when you fight with Mom.

- I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry you have to see this, but I intend to make it up to you. Are you ready?

He nodded, and I smiled at him. I carried him to the coat rack in the entryway to get her jacket and shoes. I left the house without looking back at the living room where my mother hadn’t moved. Hector was taking us. I felt bad for bothering him for such a small thing every time, but I didn’t have a car. My mother never wanted to get me one, even though I’ve had my license for a long time. I could understand her. There were few times I was in a state to drive. I could have caused countless serious accidents. The ride was silent. I enjoyed the landscape, which was completely different from Manchester. It was much more familiar, having lived here for several years. When we arrived at the ice rink, I asked Hector to pick us up in two hours. Joan held my hand as we walked into the building. I had managed to calm down. I promised myself to enjoy it. Joan helped by spreading his good mood around. He was so excited that she pulled me toward the entrance. I was happy to see that he wasn’t angry with me anymore. He managed to bring out my first smile since the argument with my mother. There weren’t too many people at the counter, so I quickly got our tickets and then moved to the next counter to get our skates. I listened to him tell me little stories about his life. I found him so adorable. He had such a perfect life compared to mine. He had fun and didn’t worry about anything. I wished I could regain that carefree attitude. I just hoped he would turn out better than me.

- Hey, Ona?

- Hmm?

- Why do you always fight with Mom?

- Let’s just say Mom and I don’t see eye to eye, you understand? She doesn’t understand, and neither do I. Have you ever argued with a friend?

- Uh-huh.

- Well, it’s the same between Mom and me.

- Except I always forgive after a fight.

- I’d like that too, Jo, but it’s more complicated than that.

- Why? You just have to talk to solve the problem.

- Exactly, except Mom never lets me defend myself.

- That’s not fair!

It’s easier to give examples to a child so he can understand. I knew he was right, but I could never forgive my mother for everything she had done. Or rather, not done. She never tried to understand me.”

- I don’t love Mom anymore.

- What? No, no, no! You need to stay out of this.

- But she hurts you and even sent you far away from me.

I sighed, running my hand over my face. His words reminded me that I hadn’t been able to discuss his little misdeeds with him. I began to understand why he was acting out. He wanted to get back at our mother. Seeing that we wouldn’t find a free bench soon, I decided to crouch down.

- Joan, you shouldn’t get involved in this. It’s grown-up stuff.

- I am grown-up! he pouted.

- That’s not what I meant, I rolled my eyes. It’s just that it concerns Mom and me. Just because I’m having issues with her doesn’t mean you should too. You don’t need to give her a hard time just because she sent me to a school far away from you.

- But you do it when something displeases you!

I frowned. He really had an answer for everything. Why was he so clever? I was just like him at that age. I reacted quickly and asked all the questions that came to mind.

- It’s not the same. Mom takes care of you and you’ve always loved her. You don’t need to take my role at home. Understand?

- I guess, he mumbled.

- It’s not right to bother everyone and cause trouble, I continued. Mom and your dad can’t be proud of you acting this way. They love you a lot, you know, and it hurts them to see what you’re doing. So, I’m asking you to stop. Can you do that for me?

He frowned, then nodded. I think he understood now. I stood up when I finally saw a free spot. I managed to take it before someone else could.

- Will I be able to come see you once in Manchester? Because you know, waiting all the time is long!

- It will be complicated, I chuckled. If I stay there, I’m not allowed to leave the school. But if you want to come when I can go out, you’ll have to talk to Mom so she can bring you for a weekend.

- I’m big enough to go alone!

I laughed at the thought. I would pay to see Mom’s face when Joan told him that. I put our things in the locker, then helped Joan who was struggling to put on his skates. When we were ready, I didn’t need to hold Joan to move forward. He managed perfectly on his own. He had grown a lot since the last time I brought him here. He must have come without me because he seemed much more skilled than I remembered. I followed him as best as I could, he was moving everywhere. It made me happy to finally take care of him. She deserved it after all I put him through. I had two hours to make it up to him and enjoy it. We laughed a lot together. He managed to make me fall many times, which amused him greatly. Then we met a girl from his class. It seems flirting starts early these days! She was with her brother. I ended up talking with him since the two kids didn’t want to part. We spent the rest of the afternoon with them, much to my little brother’s delight. I couldn’t refuse him request even though I would have preferred to stay just the two of us.

Saturday, November 14; 6:20 PM - Ona’s Room.

I played with my phone in my hands. I had been hesitating for fifteen minutes to send a message to Bronze. I needed to talk and she was the only person who came to mind for the subject I wanted to discuss. I sighed, falling back onto my pillow. I had invited Mapi over for dinner tonight. She should be arriving soon, considering how long I had been thinking for nothing. I replayed my entire day in my mind, now that Joan was giving me a break. It was only because he was in the shower, otherwise, he would certainly be by my side. I opened my eyes when I heard noise downstairs. The sounds continued up the stairs. I sat up cross-legged just as my bedroom door flew open. She quickly spotted me, giving me a wide smile. She looked me up and down.

- Oh my God Ona! It’s so good to see you… looking normal.

- Happy to see you too, Leon, I giggled as I stood up.

She continued to examine me with a worried look. She sighed and finally hugged me. I eagerly accepted her embrace. I had missed her. Missed her so much.

- I’m fine, Maps… I’ve been through a lot, but I’m okay. I’m sorry I didn’t give you any news. I wasn’t able to, but I should have asked someone to do it for me.

- Don’t worry, it’s enough to see you in good shape.

- They took good care of me.

- You avoided rehab?

- Yeah, thanks to Bronze. She supported me against all odds.

We exchanged a smile. I could see she was holding back a comment. I knew her too well. I rolled my eyes in amusement and encouraged her to speak.

- I was wondering if… well um… you see… if that school is helping you? Sorry, she hurried. I know you don’t like talking about it, but I feel like it’s changing you a lot, you know and-

- Stop, I laughed, cutting her off. No one can stop you when you’re nervous. I don’t mind talking about it. I think you’re right, I sighed. The school is helping… at least the people there are…

- That’s good, she smiled. I was starting to lose hope of seeing the Ona I knew again.”

I smiled at her sincerely. I was losing hope too, if only she knew. I’ve been questioning a lot of things since that moment I cried in Bronze’s arms. That behavior triggered something deep inside me. It was the first time I managed to open up to someone. Not by talking about my past, but by talking about myself, about my fears. Since then, I’ve felt like I might be able to climb out of this, but the road is still very long.

- Anyway, I hope you’re ready because we’re going out tonight! she announced.

Oh no... For some reason, I haven’t liked hearing that phrase since last time. I’m really afraid of crossing my limits. She seems to see that I’m hesitant.

- Please! I promise I’ll watch over you. Ana is hosting the party. She suggested I bring you so you could meet her...

- I don’t know if it’s a good idea.

- Oh come on, it would be good for you to go out a bit. It’ll help you forget about school for a while. I won’t let you fall again.

- You’d better not. If Bronze has to get me sober again, she promised to keep me in school until I graduate.

- All the more reason for me to take care of you. No way she’s separating us!

- You’ll ditch me for your girlfriend at the first chance you get.

- I won’t take my eyes off you... Please! I’ve already told her you’re coming!

Saturday, November 14; 9:45 PM - Party at Ana’s House

Watch over me, my ass! It’s already been fifteen minutes since I started looking for Mapi, with no luck. I’m stuck in a house, far from home, where I don’t know anyone. The music is loud, and there’s alcohol and any kind of illegal substance. If Bronze knew I was in a place like this, she’d kill me. I had to say yes. I promised Mapi I’d meet her girlfriend, and here I am in her house, all alone. I already regret it. I drank a few glasses to please my best friend, but that’s all. She introduced me to Ana. She’s super nice, just like Mapi said. I felt like she didn’t like me much at first, but it seemed to improve as we talked. I know she’s not aware of our relationship with Mapi, and luckily, because she seems quite jealous already. I made my way to the kitchen. I finally saw some familiar faces. They were Ana’s friends that she introduced earlier. I was about to go to them when someone grabbed my arm. Please... Not again...

- Hey! Ona, right?

- Alex? What are you doing here?

If we had planned this, we couldn’t have managed it. He’s the brother of the little girl we met at the ice rink this afternoon. He already looks pretty wasted.

- I could ask you the same. I’ve never seen you here before! I’m here with my best friend.

- Same. The owner of the house is my best friend’s girlfriend.

- Oh, I didn’t know! Want some?

He offered me a joint. Great... Just what I needed. I had made an effort to avoid this kind of thing all evening, and now it’s right in front of me. I understood why he was in such a state.

- Sorry, I don’t do that anymore, I declined.

- Oh come on, it’s nothing serious.

- I said no, I’d rather get a drink.

- As you wish, he smiled. I’ll come with you, and we can go outside.

- If you want, sure.

It’s probably better than being alone, even though I’m not sure he’s great company. I made myself a drink and followed him outside. He introduced me to his friends. The good news is I found Mapi and Ana. The bad news is that the table we’re at is covered in drugs. There’s as much weed as there is cocaine on the table. It’s insane. Mapi noticed my concern and placed her arm around my shoulders to reassure me.

- Relax... I said I’d watch over you.

- Why aren’t you taking anything? Alex asked from my other side.

- I quit, and I don’t want to fall back into it.

- Here, drink a bit since you’re already here, it’ll do you good, Mapi said. There’s a room upstairs if you want to stay.

- No way. I promised Joan I’d come home to sleep with him.

- Just one drink then.

I accepted the drink, albeit reluctantly. I already knew I wouldn’t stop at just one. Especially since they were all eager for us to play drinking games. Again. I intended to leave the table, but my pride got the better of me when someone called me a chicken. Three in the morning came quickly. I was no longer in control of my movements. Somehow, I managed to get up from the table after refusing to kiss Alex in a game of spin the bottle. No more alcohol for tonight. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened last weekend here. I moved toward the garden. I needed to isolate myself to regain my composure. I went just far enough to hear only the laughter. I laughed as I remembered a guy’s joke. At the same time, I dialed a number on my phone.

- Ona? I heard on the other end.

- Heeey, Lucia ! How are you?

- Where are you?

I couldn’t help but laugh, thinking about what would happen when I got back. Her voice was stern, and she sounded angry. I was definitely not in control of my body or my mind.

- Everything’s fine! I’m not walking straight, but I’m okay!

- Don’t make me repeat myself. Where are you?

- At a party with Mapi! Oh dear, my head is spinning!

I burst out laughing as I leaned against a tree. I heard her sigh on the other end.

- Damn it, Ona, you’re so immature! Have you done anything other than drink?

- No, I said proudly. I listened to you for once.

- Go home. Now, she ordered.

- Or what?

- Ona... Don’t take advantage of the distance. I could make you run the miles you owe me for tonight to sober up first thing Monday morning, she threatened.

- Oh dear, I’m so scared!

- Don’t-

I hung up on her. I giggled, realizing the mess I had gotten myself into. What was I thinking calling her? I smiled when Mapi joined me. She had also had quite a few drinks, but she seemed more clear-headed than me. She laughed seeing my state.

- You okay, Onita ?

- Hummmm.

- Did you get a call from Commander? Who’s that?

- Bronze, I snickered. She’s going to kill me. I just hung up on her.

- You have her number?! she exclaimed, surprised.

- She gave it to me before she left. In case I had a problem, I explained. She knows I’m drunk, I’m screwed, I giggled.

Mapi teased me. I leaned my head against the tree behind me and closed my eyes for a moment. Not too long, because my head was really spinning.

- You should pick up, it’s her third call.

I realized she was right when I looked at my phone. I giggled again and finally answered on her fourth call. I didn’t even have time to put the phone to my ear before I had to pull it back.

- Damn it, Ona, don’t ever do that again, she yelled. Go home, now.

- Relax, baby, I laughed. It’s just a party.

- Baby? Mapi choked, spitting out her drink.

I laughed even harder, realizing the nickname I had just given her.

- Oops, shit! That’s not what you think, Maps, I giggled. Oh man, I’m really messed up.

- Are you with someone? I heard through my phone.

I let my phone slip accidentally. I laughed when I bumped into the tree. Before I could react, Mapi had picked up my phone and put it on speaker.

- Hey, this is Bronze, right?

- And who are you?

- Mapi, the best friend.

- Hmm. I know who you are. Has Ona taken any drugs?

- Thanks for the trust, I giggled. I said no!

- Shut up, Ona. I wasn't talking to you, and I don't want to hear from you anymore.

- No, she hasn’t taken anything, Mapi replied, laughing. She was adamant about it, and I stayed sober just to watch over her.

- See! You can trust me!

- I told you to be quiet, Ona! We’ll deal with this when you get back.

I groaned at her words. What did I say? I’m in trouble. I’m going to have a rough time. I rolled my eyes, knowing she couldn’t see me anyway.

- I can’t drive her back with all the alcohol I’ve had, my best friend said. But I can call her driver to pick her up.

- You can't be serious, Maps! You said I could stay here!

- And you said you wanted to sleep with Joan! she retorted.

- You made me drink like crazy, saying I needed to have fun!

- I never forced you to drink!

I was about to argue back, but Bronze’s voice interrupted our debate that could have gone on for hours. I laughed as she scolded me, calling me reckless. When I finally calmed down, I heard her sigh.

- Call her driver and tell him I want a message when she's in bed.

- You can't make me go home from a party across the country!

- Watch me!

- You've never forbidden me from going to parties!

- Have you seen your state? Do you want me to remind you how it ended last time? You’re going home, period! And believe me, we’ll have a serious talk when you get back, she repeated.

I groaned in frustration at her words. She talked a bit more with Mapi before the latter hung up. She continued to tap on my phone, probably calling Hector as planned. She stood up and helped me do the same. She held me up as we walked to the exit and through the outer gate.

- Come on, beautiful, it's time to go home.

- I don’t want to go home, I mumbled.

- But your girlfriend wants you to.

- She’s not my girlfriend, I grumbled more.

- You can tell me, you know? she laughed. You called her baby!

- It slipped out.

- Sure it did, she teased.

- It's true! She's going to kill me on Monday, damn it.

We waited five minutes in front of the house before Hector's service car appeared. He helped Mapi get me into the car. I was really in bad shape. Maybe Bronze wasn’t wrong. He closed the door after settling me in. I could still hear them talking, but I was too drunk to understand what they were saying. Hector joined the driver's side after their conversation. Mapi opened the door one last time to give me a kiss on the forehead.

- See you tomorrow. Sleep well, Ona.

I groaned slightly in response. She closed the door, and Hector drove off. It didn’t even take two minutes for me to fall asleep, my head resting against the car window.

#woso #lucy bronze #woso community #barca femeni #ona batlle #woso soccer #lionesses #sefutbol fem #ona batlle x lucy bronze #mapi leon

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therabbitthatpostthings · 3 months

Text

(Masterpost)

Nervous fingers tapped along the edges of the wooden mask. As you left the mountain, the weather warmed up so there was no real reason to still wear it. Snowy white paths turn to half melted slush. Dormant flowers poked through the frost patiently waiting to bloom. It felt like years since you had felt the sun shine.

You pondered if the lack of sunlight had made you grow paler. Would your parents even recognize you? It’s ridiculous to think they wouldn’t. You wished you could have sent word of your safety sooner though. How many nights did your father blame himself for letting you go up there? How many nights did your mother go hungry because she couldn’t bear the thought of eating? Did they try to go back for you? Did Giyuu send them away?

Your heart fluttered at the thought of them meeting Giyuu. Would they accept him? Would they accept you living in the mansion? Come to think of it, it’s quite inappropriate for you two to live together unmarried.

Would Giyuu want to get married?

Would he marry you…

A deep burning started in your heart. You couldn’t deny that the life you two had was domestic. You took care of each other. And Giyuu had asked you to stay. He wanted you to stay. And you wanted to stay with him. You lov-

“Woah there girl!” The old man called out. Two crows swooped down in front of the horse. You held onto the side as it thrashed wildly at the squawking birds. Out from the tree line ran three men in strange outfits. The white-haired one with a flashy headband was the tallest. He quickly approached the horse to help the old man calm her down.

“Sorry about that sir.” He spoke.

The birds landed by the feet of the other two men. The shortest one turned to you and you noticed the white scarf around him was actually a large snake. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” You replied. You tried your best not to stare but it’s not everyday you meet a peculiar trio of people.

You shakily climbed down from the wagon and thanked the driver. “I’ll find a ride back sir.” You assured him.

“You sure? I’ll be back this way in five days?” He asked.

“I’m sure,” You smiled.

With a tilt of his hat, he continued down the path. You turned to face the three strange men, the tallest of which seemed to be studying you. Before he could speak, the last one spoke up, “Sorry for startling you.”

He was the most intimidating one of the group. He didn’t wait for you to respond, he started walking down the first path and the two birds followed him. The flashy one said another apology before following him as well.

What an odd bunch.

No time to worry about them. You were home. Everything suddenly felt so melancholic. It felt like a lifetime since you had been here. You would be remiss to say you hadn’t missed it. It was nothing like the other village. The houses were patched together and spaced out from each other. Many families had moved out over the years leaving empty shells of homes. Gradually some of them fell apart without proper maintenance. What few people one the street eyes you quizzically. Maybe they thought they were seeing a ghost. Maybe it was the fine clothes you wore. Perhaps you should have worn your old clothes instead of the kimono Giyuu gave you. If you were any stronger your fingers would burst through the wood of your mask. You resisted the urge to put it on. This village was your whole life a couple months ago and yet you felt like a stranger in a ghost town.

At the very end of the road, tucked away under overgrown trees was your house. It looked exactly the same as when you left. Everything you ever knew existed right beyond this door. There was no reason to be scared. The door was stuck like always, with a little force you slid it open. It was strange looking at your parents shoes by the door. Even stranger was your parents sitting just a few feet in front of you. Startled, they stared at you. On the table sat an array of food that looked foreign in this house.

“(Y/N)?” Your father said barely above a whisper. He lightly walked up to you and reached for your arm. Then your other arm. And then your face.

“I’m home.” You smiled. And it broke him.

He engulfed you in his embrace as he broke out into sobs. Teacups hit the floor in your mother’s pursuit to reach you. She examined your face closely. Her eyes focused on every small detail. “My child…”

“I’m home mom.” You smiled.

Your heart swelled in a rush of emotions. You three cried in each other's arms on the floor of your home. They were scared to move. Terrified you would disappear if they let go.

“I thought I lost you. I should have never let you go (Y/N).” Your father pleaded. “Please forgive me.”

“Papa. You only wanted to keep us safe, I could never be mad at you. It’s okay Papa, I’m home.”

“I’ll never make that mistake (Y/N). I’ll always protect you.”

“I know Papa, I know. That’s why I’m here! On the other side of the mountain is a village, we could live there!” You rambled on about Urokodaki and his offer, Makomo and the village.

“(Y/N), have you been living in this village all these months?” Your mother was shocked at the notion.

“Well…no…” The crushing nervousness came rushing back.

What if they hate him?

What if I can't go back?

No. I promised Giyuu.

“I’ve been in the mansion…with Giyuu. He’s the Beast.”

Your mother gasped and your father's face twisted in anger. “So it was keeping you captive.” He growled. “I knew it! I knew all this food was a way of keeping us silent!”

“It’s not like that! I asked him to deliver you food and clothes, I knew you wouldn’t have survived this winter!”

“You asked him-”

“Papa please! Giyuu is so kind. He’s shy, a little awkward and sometimes says things without thinking. He’s been stuck on the mountain for years. Alone. I promise you, he wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

Your father couldn’t believe it. The same creature that threatened him? Couldn’t be. After all this time he was to believe the beast was kind?! Your father stepped back from you two and sat down. You looked over to your mother for aid but she was focused on your father.

You knew this wouldn’t be easy but you felt, somehow, more determined. Sitting next to him you slid the fox mask into his hands. “What is this?”

“He made it for me. I wear it whenever I go down to the village. That’s how I met Makomo and her grandfather.” You smiled. “Makomo told me they are supposed to keep away evil spirits. When you carve one for someone it’s your way of saying, ‘I'm with you and I’ll keep the evil away.’ That’s the kind of person Giyuu is.”

He ran his thumb over the engraved wood. He looked at you, the fancy clothes, the mask and then your mother. She looked unsure and concerned. He finally looked back at you. And he finally saw you. This was not the child that left him months ago. You looked so sure of yourself. Eyes burning with determination. How did you manage to change over just a couple of months? A part of him was scared that even if he said no you’d go back up that mountain again.

You spoke, “Papa, you don’t have to trust Giyuu but trust me. There’s nothing here for us anymore.”

“Dear, they're right.” Your mother stated. “If it wasn’t for the Beast, we’d have starved.”

He couldn’t deny that. He just wished it was his sacrifice that brought this prosperity to your family. Wouldn’t he be damning you all to deny a chance to start over. Your father lamented. “(Y/N), I trust you.”

“I promise, you two will love it there!” You cheered.

“I’m just happy, you’ve found yourself.” He smiled.

While you rambled on about the village and the mansion a thought struck your mother. She gasped as she stepped back in shock.

“Love? What's wrong?” Your father rushed to her side.

“The hunters..”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ♡ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ♡ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The slurry-filled roads turned to white snow. The two crows soared overhead signaling the path to the mountain. Tension had not settled between the men. The closer they got the more Uzui could hear the sounds of branches rustling and the earth moving. As the sun was setting the forest was changing its shape. The noise became louder with each step they took before it settled all at once. Uzui grabbed onto both hunters arms to stop them. They stood in total silence as the sun dipped below the horizon.

The trees parted. Out stepped a large figure that towered above them. All the noise in the area stopped in its presence. The creature slumped forward with long strands of pitch black hair cascading over its body. Every step gave way to hooved feet. The head of the creature scanned the area around itself. Its large antlers knocked against tree tops as it examined. After a moment it stopped, turned and lurched back up the mountain path.

Before the men had time to breathe the rumbling of the forest started again.

“Come on!” Shinazugawa yelled “Now before it closes completely!”

#writing fanfics at 3am-#cringe-#giyu tomioka x reader #giyu x reader #giyuu tomioka x reader #giyuu x reader #giyuu x you #giyuu x y/n #giyuu tomioka #tomioka giyu x reader #tomioka x y/n #tomioka giyuu #tomioka giyū #Giyuu the Beast AU #no beta we die like men

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ninapi · 1 year

Text

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Frantically in love ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

Premise: He let you go once and that was a mistake. Rekindling his relationship with his first and only love proved to be a difficult task for a man like Nanami.

Word Count: 3170

Note: You can read the first chapter here. 😊

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

Chapter 2: Overtime

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Time goes by fast when all you do is work.

Coming back to the academy was a low blow for Nanami. If he ever felt like he had made a mistake by letting you go, he was now certain, maybe running away from this wasn’t the best idea, or maybe he should have gone to Kyoto, be with his girlfriend, continue living like a sorcerer, just live, like a person not a machine.

For all he knows, he could be dead already if he had followed that path, but maybe, just maybe, his life would have been better, brighter, with you by his side.

“Nanamin!! You gotta come see this! There’s this ridiculously beautiful woman in the training grounds. I would dare to say even in the same league as Jennifer Lawrence.” an exasperated sigh could be heard leaving Nanami’s body, he was clearly not interested, but his fondness towards the youngster made him walk with him anyways.

“Told you already, I’m not interested in dating anyone.”

“Who said I’m letting you keep her? She does look older but who knows, maybe she likes younger guys!” the ridiculousness of it all made Nanami chuckle in between scoffs, he was a bit too much at times.

He wasn’t expecting, however, to see the love of his life standing there, flower petals dancing around you in the wind, like a scene coming out of a movie.

“Sensei, they said we can leave our things over there. I think you can leave now.”

“Will you be able to sleep without her?” Todo kept on bugging poor Kamo, he wasn’t a momma’s or daddy’s baby boy, he was sensei’s baby boy, and was still pretty dependent of you even if he was almost a man by now. He even tried to get his clan to accept you as his future bride, that’s how much he wanted you to continue being by his side, but you had to reject said offer as your heart was already taken and you cared way too much for the boy, he was like a son to you.

“Stop bugging him, Aoi-Chan, or you’ll have to face me again. Go, Nori-kun, I’ll be in a hotel downtown if you need me.” he just nodded, blushing slightly at his teammate’s provocations, he was normally respected by his team, but sometimes it was just too easy to tease him, and that would normally make him a better match in a fight.

“(Y/N…?)”

You could recognize that voice anywhere, turning to face the owner of the mellow voice you’ve missed so dearly, you lost your own at the sight, “Ken-chan…?”

“Ken-Chan? What? Do you know the pretty lady Nanamin? Life is so unfair I was sure I would get her number…Or wait! Can you actually get it for me? You know, put in a good word for me and stuff?” Yuji was once again being ridiculous, but thanks to his antics you both ended up laughing, lifting the heavy air around you away.

“What brings you here? I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with this world anymore…” your eyes glossed over, you still felt hurt, betrayed even, he just stopped calling you one day. No more messages, no more visits. He just let your relationship die out, seemingly for his carrier, yet he didn’t even have the decency to reply to your multiple messages or pick up a single one of your calls.

“Nanamin is training me. He’s super strong, it’s crazy.”

“Oh…um…I see…” so he was willing to come back to this life for a kid but not for you. Maybe Nori-Kun would still take you…a wild thought in an awful situation, mind you.

“I gotta go. Please don’t hurt my boy too much, I’m stronger than your teacher, you don’t wanna face my wrath if I see one too many bruises on his face.” smiling at Yuji, you walked away, unable to meet Nanami’s eyes.

He’s aged so much, you could see with a single glance how much he’s overworked himself, his face was thinner, his beautiful eyes carried bags underneath them now, very much bruised by the lack of sleep, yet he’s still as devilishly handsome as ever.

“Wait, (Y/N) please...” he grabbed your wrist gently, turning you around to face him. You didn’t want to talk to him right now, you had to process this, truth is you didn’t know he’d be there, otherwise you wouldn’t have come. You always thought about him, still wished to see him even if it was one last time, but you knew it would hurt, it would burn deep in your heart, the love you had for each other was supposed to be invincible, yet he gave you up so easily.

“I don’t think there’s anything left to talk about between us, Kento. You left me without a word. Months before our wedding, you just disappeared from my life. I thought you were dead!” you were now sobbing; the pain was still digging deeply within you even after all these years.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry…I know this will sound like an excuse but I kindda lost my way, I lost my sense of self, just didn’t know how to deal with how much I missed you and how desperate I felt without you in my life…” your crying just intensified, the pet name pouring salt into the wound, while Nanami welcomed your shaky self into the warmth of his strong arms.

You’ve missed this man so badly. He still used the same cologne, still smelled like freshly laundered shirts coming out of the dryer. His arms were stronger now, his face even more chiseled. He looked so different yet still the same.

He was still the same tall lanky boy you met on your first day of school, the one who stole all your firsts.

Your first crush.

First love.

First kiss.

First time.

First heartbreak.

“Wait what? You were marrying this hottie, Nanamin? Wow, and I thought Gojo sensei was the one that hauled all the babes around.” you couldn’t help but laugh at his words, seemed like Gojo senpai hadn’t changed one bit.

“Itadori could you please just shut up? Leave us, boy.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll leave you with your girlfriend?…hm…fiancée? or is it wife? Baby mama? Hmmm yeah, I like the sound of that one, let’s go with that.” Nanami just wanted to kill the poor boy, he really needed to shut up right now. Though he reminded him of Yu, his best and his worse…

You thought the very same thing, gifting one of your lovely smiles to Yuji who ended up speechless at the sight. “I can see why you couldn’t say no to this. Was it Gojo senpai’s doing?” he just nodded in reply, reaching for your hand almost timidly.

“Where are you staying? I can take you there, we could get something to eat and talk about this some more?” there hasn’t been one day that he hadn’t thought about you during these ten long years. There was nothing he regretted more than leaving you, nothing he wished more than to have you back in his life.

“Can you give me some time? I need to think this through before I hear what you have to say. Let’s meet for breakfast tomorrow morning.” you handed him your phone for him to add his latest phone number, sending him the address to your hotel right after.

“I’ll text you later.” waving in Yuji’s direction, you left the school grounds without even being able to say hi to your seniors.

You had a lot to think about.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

“So I heard you met (Y/N) earlier? Is she as hot as she used to or even more now?” Gojo was sipping in some iced tea, watching over his pupils while sharing some drinks with his fellow friend.

“She’s always been the most gorgeous there is. Time wouldn’t change that.”

“Oh, so she got hotter, I see. Well, now that she isn’t taken, I might pursue her interest…” Nanami’s veins were popping out of his forehead in annoyance. Truth is, he didn’t know where you stand, yes, he still loves you, but what about you? He was your number one during your high school years, even with Gojo after your every muscle, even after many training sessions alone with your loving Geto senpai, you never failed to return to his arms, nothing made your heart waver away from him.

But what about now?

You haven’t seen each other in ten years, forget about Gojo, what if you already found someone else? What if you married someone else? He didn’t see a ring on your finger, but that didn’t really mean anything…

Ignoring his senior, he got up from his seat, walking towards the entrance of the school grounds, the scheduled time for your meeting was getting closer and he didn’t want to be late, not even by a second.

You were already there waiting for him, it was clear that you dressed up for him, what you were wearing looked like a brand-new dress and shoes, makeup done to perfection, your hair up. Even the bag you were wearing matched the outfit, almost like a shop display. It made him smile, at least made him feel like he was a step closer in the right direction.

“You’re early.”

“So are you.” his hand laid itself on the small of your back as if it was its rightful place, guiding you inside the fancy-looking restaurant for some brunch.

The food was to die for, juicy, tender, full of flavors, the wine he got for the two of you was also lovely, even if it was a bit too early for a drink, everything always tastes better with good company.

You were too young last time you saw him; this was the first time you two had indulged in some alcohol together, and it was painfully obvious to him that your tolerance for it wasn’t the highest.

“Ken-chan…can I ask you something?” his eyes left his plate to meet your own, apprehensive about the direction the date might take after answering it.

He just nodded, patiently waiting for you to continue, “Did you not want to marry me? Is that why you left…?”

A loud clacking sound could be heard resonating on every corner of the restaurant, his knife had been discarded in a desperate attempt to hold one of your hands in his.

“No, that’s not it. Quite the contrary.” Confusion was covering your face, food still stuck in your throat as tears threaten to come out at your own thoughts.

“I wanted it so badly; I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, that’s why I had everything planned. But life had different plans for us, and I just didn’t know how to deal with my own disappointment and self doubts. I tried getting a promotion and getting transferred to an Osaka branch, at least we would be closer, but not even that worked. They were dark times, and you were the only one who ever managed to pull me away from darkness, without you by my side I just…yeah…”

You knew what he meant, the very same thing happened to you, he was the one who always managed to get you out of your darkness, the one who helped you move forward, even after loosing your friend, he was your grieve companion, your entire life, and when you faced loneliness, things weren’t pretty for the longest time. Especially not after he cut the relationship short without discussing things. “I just wished you would have said something…I seriously thought something bad had happened to you, that you were laying dead in some alleyway waiting for someone to find your remains…I even had to call senpai and ask if you were alright, it was embarrassing to say the least, even he knew more about you back then than your future wife did…”

“I’m sorry, my love…I ran away, drowned myself working overtime just to try to forget about you and move on, but in reality, your pajamas are still in my drawer, I still have that matching toothbrush set you got for us, the one with the cats…and I never let anyone sleep on your spot, not even old drunk cousins…” and at the end of the day that was all that mattered.

He, just like you, had never moved on, not in the slightest, it appears that the love you felt for one another only increased as time went by, as you missed each other desperately, as all you could think about was him and all he could think about was you.

You could see how much he was struggling to let his true feelings out, he’s never been the best at that, but it’s never been necessary, you could see right through him, you knew exactly what he was feeling just by looking into his eyes, even if his friends couldn’t differentiate if he was constipated or happy, you could.

“Do you really have…my pink cat toothbrush.” you mumbled in between sniffs, unable to contain yourself any longer.

“Of course I do baby. I know how much you liked it…” his thumb was rubbing circles onto the back of your hand, your tears messing up the beautiful makeup job that took you all morning to master.

“You’re so silly…” you were still crying, but the imminent smile adorning your face made his stomach somersault, he suddenly felt like his sixteen-year-old self the first time he kissed you. “Your fault…” that made you giggle; he’s always blamed you for making him do ridiculous things like wearing matching frog onesies to bed or line up at six in the morning to go to a damn theme park. He always complained, but always did what you asked of him without you having to ask him twice. These were the things that made you feel loved, seeing your stoic boyfriend dressed as a frog while watching horror movies laying his head on your lap. Nobody would believe you even if you had pictures of said day, but those were your most treasured memories, those that proved to you how loved you were by the man that held your heart to this day.

“Would you like to…come to my room…? I mean, what, no, no that sounded wrong, I mean so we can talk some more, relax without worrying about people seeing my messy mascara…not you know…sexy stuff…” you were now a blushing mess, trying to cover your destroyed face from the handsome businessman sitting across from you.

“Yeah…anything’s fine with me, even the sexy stuff…” he was teasing you and you knew it, he was just trying to lighten the mood, but it still caused a long forgotten deep desire to bubble up within you, his hands now seemingly hotter and were they always this big?

Oh my…

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

The walk over to your hotel room was mostly spent in silence, you were still trying to calm your racing heart, while Nanami texted Yuuji telling him he would have to miss the afternoon training session as his woman wanted him in her room. The text caused poor Yuuji’s heart to explode as intense thoughts filled his little brain with rated content.

The only reply he got from him though was a thumbs up sticker, his encouragement could be felt just as much as his dirty thoughts.

Your hotel wasn’t anything fancy, just a random business hotel that you got to book at the last minute.

There was no couch, no chairs, just barely space for one in a tiny bed and your personal bathroom, forcing Nanami to sit beside you on your bed after you finished removing your makeup.

“I think this is the first time we are in a hotel together, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, well we didn’t have to go far, we always lived on the same floor…” chuckling you recounted your endeavors with your young boyfriend, how after a couple of months of being together started sharing a bed, didn’t matter who’s bed was it, you just couldn’t be away from the other, specially not at night.

“Still is a bit weird, young couples always end up diving into love hotels at least once.”

“True, but we were both broke and well…why spend money if we could just do it whenever we wanted, and nobody ever noticed.”

“Ken-chan!” you swatted his arm, a terrified expression shining on your face, as if someone else would hear about it.

“What? You were there too, you know it’s true.”

“Well, yes I know…” you were now shyly burying your face on his shoulder, hoping he wouldn’t see how red your face was, but of course he saw it, he wouldn’t miss your adorable self ever again.

“Are you having nasty thoughts, babe? I can see your ears glow from here.” groaning, you lifted his arm to hide completely under his armpit, a low chuckle rumbling from his chest at your antics.

“Stop being adorable, or I won’t be able to stop myself.”

“What if I don’t want you to stop yourself…”

“Thought you didn’t want sexy stuff just yet-“

“KENTO!”

“Ok, ok, come here.” he gathered you in his arms, bringing you close to kiss your lips ever so softly, your fists balling on his chest. “I missed you, baby…so, so much…” peppering soft kisses all over your face, he hummed quietly, his hands roaming your back with need.

“I did too…way more than you ever did, I just know it…” his kisses were so soft that without noticing your tears were once again pouring down your beautiful face, "I wouldn't be so sure if I was you..." your heart was hurting but was also so full at the same time, it was confusing.

“Would you…consider…maybe giving me another chance?”

“Another chance as in dating or another chance as in going back to our home?” you were now the one kissing his jaw tenderly, his hands were resting under your shirt craving to feel more of your soft skin against his calloused hands.

“As in both…”

“Hm…you’ll have to work harder if you want me to move back in…” he just gave you a wicked smirk, pinning you down to the mattress.

And so, he did.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

“Yo, baby mama! Sup! You staying with us now?”

“Baby- WhAT?! Are you already pregnant, (Y/N)??? Damn you fast…” the envious look he was giving Nanami caused a fit of giggles among his students.

“I- Um, are you?”

“Who knows…maybe I am.” your cute little giggles enchanted Gojo’s students, suddenly wanting to be transferred to the Kyoto branch.

Only time would tell.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Previous Chapter Masterlist

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auxiliarydetective · 7 months

Note

asker!Alvita reporting for duty!! could I have all of this ask game for Cora and Lily??

Oooooooh, long post incoming!

1. Can your OC admit to mistakes or weaknesses? Can they accept help?

Cora can do all of these things, at least around people she trusts. Mistakes are human nature, and she'll admit to making them. Weaknesses? Definitely. She likes to remind people that she is, in fact, not a swordsman, and that her devil fruit has limited battle usability. (She's somewhat wrong about this, but let her talk.) Also, she can definitely accept help. Otherwise, her relationship with Zoro would be in trouble, because the only way this man knows to express his affection is to conveniently do things for her. Of course, he's not doing them for her, he's doing them because he feels like it. Totally not in love. Never. Sanji also loves spoiling his princess. The man would bridal carry her everywhere if she asked. She also frequently calls both of them for help against stronger enemies if she realizes she can't beat them and knows they have time.

Lily is very good at all three of these things and she will cry about it. She'll be fighting on enemy three times her size one moment and run into Sanji's arms the next, crying in fear about how she's too small to fight and how she wants to go home. She's also still learning about the world, so there's a lot of things for her to be wrong about and she doesn't mind being corrected.

2. Is your OC more emotional or more stoic? How do their emotions show and how do they feel about them?

Cora is more emotional, definitely. Not overly emotional, but her emotions do show. Fun fact, she's an angry crier, which automatically ends any verbal fights she might get into, either because her opponent is Sanji and he folds instantly at seeing her cry (it's similar for Zoro but not as instantaneous) or because Sanji has come to her defense because the person she's up against made her cry. Generally, Cora has fairly physical reactions to her emotions, as in she shakes heavily if she gets scared and she cries easily. She thinks she's a bit of a crybaby and a weakling, but Sanji will immediately tell her otherwise.

Lily? Oh boy, Lily. Her whole devil fruit is centered around emotions. Not only does it contribute to her being very emotional and having intense mood swings, it also converts her emotions into various effects, such as making the lights flicker, changing the weather, and, most prominently, turning her back into five-year-old when she gets too scared. She doesn't really have an opinion on her emotions, they just... happen.

3. Does your OC cry a lot? Why or why not?

I guess I already answered this, didn't I? Yes, both Cora and Lily cry a lot. For Cora, it's partially because that's just who she is, partially because of trauma, whereas Lily has her devil fruit, her mood swings and her (mental) age to blame.

4. Does your OC talk a lot? Are there things they tend to ramble about?

Cora probably talks a regular amount, but she loves to ramble about fashion. If you want to keep her talking for whatever reason, ask her about fashion, or sewing, or designing... Just anything that has to do with her work as a tailor. She could also talk about her boyfriends for ages if prompted and in the right environment.

Lily does talk a lot. Or rather, she rambles a lot. She's the kind of person who will sit in a car and point at and name not only animals or landmarks you pass but also every car she recognizes or finds odd or funny. She just loves to learn and explore. It's not that she doesn't know how to be quiet. She does! But she's also talkative, so she'll talk if there's no reason for her not to.

5. Are they a romantic?

Cora is definitely a romantic. Not as much as Sanji, but she does love romance, so these two together are a walking romance novel. If you want to impress her, a candlelit dinner with good food and pretty clothes is the perfect way to do it.

Lily is probably a little too young to be a romantic in that sort of sense, but she does romanticize life, in a way. A more or less childish way. She just loves to be alive and to see the world and... Yeah. Does that count?

6. Are they dramatic?

Cora is very dramatic, but only as a joke. She usually swallows her problems until she has to throw them back up, but if she has the chance to annoy Zoro by being dramatic, she'll be dramatic as hell. It gets even funnier if Sanji or someone else plays along. Nami especially is a great ally for weaponizing the drama, second place goes to Usopp.

To be fair, Lily isn't very dramatic. She's just a kid, and Zoro has to constantly remind himself of that if he's about to call her dramatic for crying about him stepping on a bug or something.

7. How would they prefer to die?

Cora would probably like to die quickly and painlessly, but if it has to be long and painful, she'll take it, as long as it helps her friends in any way.

Not at all? Lily doesn't think about dying, she's too busy thinking about how many marshmallows she can fit in her mouth or how quickly she can climb up to the crow's nest. But she'd probably prefer the quick and painless route.

8. What is guaranteed to make them angry?

For Cora, it's pretending to be a member of the Akaito Clan. There are so many fakers out there and she intends to personally commit arson against every single one of them and burn down their bootleg clothes and designs. It's just a huge disrespect to her family, their tradition and their name.

For Lily, I'd say it's hurting her friends that makes her the angriest. Depending on how big and tough the enemy is, she may also be very scared, but if you want to find out the quickest way to have a feral fennec fox biting and clawing at your neck, this is it.

9. What do they get really petty about?

Cora gets extremely petty about the difference between swordfighting and fencing. She is not a swordfighter because she uses a rapier and a rapier is used for fencing. Sworfighting is what Zoro does. You wouldn't be able to start a proper fight between someone using a katana and someone using a rapier. Thus, they must be two separate fighting styles. immaculate logic. Also, sewing and fashion. This color is the color she says it is, not any other.

Lily actually doesn't get petty at all. Or at least not often. She's just happy to be talking. But if you call a Zoan user a Mink or the other way around, you might be in trouble. They're two very different things.

10. What do they identify as?

See, this is why I kept this question that open and didn't limit it to gender identity or sexuality. Makes it a lot easier to answer.

Cora is bisexual and proud, as well as proudly polyamorous. She has two hands, why not use them? She also strongly identifies with her heritage as a member of the Akaito Clan and being a member of the Straw Hat Pirates.

Lily doesn't really think about gender identity or something as weird as sexuality. To be honest, I don't think she has even had sex ed yet. Does she even know what sexuality is? I mean, she knows what sex is, probably, but... Does she know what gender is? Anyways, a huge part of her identity comes from her being a fennec fox mink. Well, half, but she likes to omit that fact. Sometimes, she just refers to herself as simply a fennec fox, as in: "Of course I'm cold! I'm a desert fox, not an Arctic fox!" That's why she also identifies with her epithet. Also, the Straw Hat Pirates. The moment she lies about being a part of their crew is the day that hell freezes over. That's her family right there.

Thank you so much for your ask, Alvita! Have a lovely day <3

Taglist: @starcrossedjedis @daughter-of-melpomene @supermarine-silvally - let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

#one piece oc #opla oc #oc: akaito coraline #oc: felicity #ask #evie's ask extravaganza

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themorningsunshine · 2 years

Text

Light in the midst of darkness (4)

Series Masterlist

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Summary - Sometimes he thought she was a segment of his imagination, a figure conjured up by his mind for a sense of peace among his tormentors. Why else would somebody as pure as her will be at Hydra? But then he realised the imagination of his broken mind could never be so beautiful.

Word count - 2k

Warnings - Brief mention of chemicals and brainwashing

a/n - Here it is!!! I know this chapter took me ages and I am really really sorry. But silver lining, I have created an outline for the whole story so updates can hopefully be quicker. Thank you so much for sticking along.

The path to the medical rooms isn't how it used to be and the soldier wonders if they were always this brightened by light.

He had walked on these paths a lot of times before. Now that he knew for how long he had been here, he could only imagine how many times they had brought him here and erased his memory of the crime they had just made him commit. They never liked to leave evidence. What better way than erasing every trace from the committer's mind?

But he hasn't been strapped to that chair in 3 months. He has started to find tidbits of his memories, which changes much more than he ever thought. He still doesn't look into the mirror, but this time, not because he can't recognize the person staring back at him but because he despises the person who stares back at him through the mirror.

Every time he is sent on a mission, he loses a part of himself. He realizes he doesn't want to kill those people. He never did. The little voices that he used to hear from inside him during missions, begging and pleading with him to let those people go, make more sense now. The voice is much stronger now. It's like his own.

As the room with the chair approaches, he holds his breath. He never liked the chair before but he couldn't afford to be strapped now. It was nice knowing about himself. It was nice knowing that he wasn't bad. That he wasn't one of them. He also had someone other than himself he didn't want to forget.

As the two guards take him to the dreaded room, they can hear tidbits of conservation from inside. It was clearer to the soldier, owing to his super hearing.

"No, sir. We can't do that." There was that voice. The one who somehow could always calm him down. The voice that he had started to crave.

"What do you mean? We can't let him be without the wiping. It's too risky. We can't afford to do that." It was the voice of the general. The guards knew better than to interrupt now.

"Sir, but..."

"No, buts!! You are here to do as we say. Last I checked, we keep you alive to follow our orders and not give suggestions." The general's voice bellowed through the halls and it took everything in the soldier to not burst in, pick him up by the throat and throw him on the wall.

The general was about to walk towards the door, head tilted upwards with arrogance, when you spoke up again, "He will not be able to survive it, sir."

The general turned back and the soldier could almost sense how his brows would have furrowed.

"What do you mean? The soldier isn't an average human. He is a weapon. His endurance knows no bounds." The general lets out a dark chuckle at that as if he had tested it himself.

You need to physically hold yourself back from taking a step forward and punching the general. "That is how he has survived this long, sir. But you need to understand. Brainwashing releases Lysergic acid diethylamide into the brains of the subject. This blocks the memories of associates and almost any sense of environment. That is what makes them extremely obedient in the first place. But extreme use of this acid can lead to blockage of the nerves and then damage to the nervous system. Nobody can survive at that."

"What are you trying to say here?" The general asked with irritation in his voice, too arrogant to accept that he hadn't understood what had just come out of your mouth.

"Sir, in simple words, the soldier has been strapped to this chair for decades, it has damaged his mind. He has no memories or recollections of who he was. If any more of this is thrashed upon him, his mind will finally give up and all of Hydra's attempts at creating more supersoldiers will prove futile."

The soldier narrows his eyes. He feels a sudden rush of anger inside him. Why did you have to say that? If another one of those 'sessions' would kill him, he would willingly walk towards it. He wasn't allowed to choose for decades but he knew that if he got the opportunity now, he would rather die. The prospect of eternal peace is promising to him. No more missions, no murders, no more blood on his hands, none of those training sessions. He would much rather die, he thinks.

He knows his anger is unjustified. If anything, you were trying to save his life.

But another thought confuses him. You had said he had no recollections of his past, but if there was one person who knew that wasn't the truth except for him, it was you. Whenever he met you after missions or sessions or even during medical reports, he would talk to you about what he had started to remember and in turn, you told him about your family. So, what you said about his memories wasn't true.

The voice of the general brings him out of his thoughts. "Fine, do whatever. Just sew him up. A critical mission is coming up. We cannot take any risks." You just nodded your head trying your best to not smile.

After giving the soldier a disgusted look, the general steps out and walks away. The guards pushed the soldier inside and walked away.

When your eyes met him, you let out a sigh of relief. Most of the time when he came to you, he was in a terrible state. Even though you knew it was a regular medical report today, you couldn't help the relief that ran through you every time you saw him, well and alive.

You smiled at him and whispered a small, "hey"

The soldier didn't give you a response and just walked towards the devices which he knew would take recordings for the report. You didn't mind. Even though he had now started to talk to you, there were times when he preferred to be quiet and you understood.

As you walked towards him, your smile didn't flatten. "I am now going to take recordings of your heartbeat." This was a new habit you had developed. Even if you were about to do something as painless as listening to his heartbeats, you would always tell him about what was to come. Considering how everything was just thrashed upon him and how he had been treated by doctors all these years, you knew he hated all the medical procedures and you sincerely hoped this would slightly ease his worries.

But he didn't look up or meet your eye. He just sat there, muscles tensed and jaw so tightly closed, you were worried it would break. "Bucky, are you okay?"

He had thought he wouldn't reply to anything you said today or even look your way, but your voice dripping in concern and your eyes desperate for anything to calm down your worries made it impossible.

"Why?" He just whispers the first word that comes to his mind.

"I - I don't understand, Bucky. Is everything okay?"

"Why didn't you just let me die?" This time, he looks directly into your eyes, and all air is sucked out of your lungs at the intensity of his orbs.

"Bucky, I -. It's not what you think."

"Then, explain it to me. Tell me what that was about." It is the first time he has raised his voice in a commanding way and for a second, he is scared you would flinch away from him. That you would hate him, or worse, be scared of him. He didn't want to scare you. He was not as angry with you as he was with himself.

But you don't flinch. You understand his frustration and you know he deserves a chance to know the truth. He has had things hidden from him for years, you couldn't do the same to him.

"The chemical. The one I told the general about. That's not a real thing. I mean, it used to be. Like, 50 years ago but not anymore."

Bucky narrowed his eyes at you. He was relieved that you weren't scared of him but your statement confused him even further.

"Bucky, they don't use chemicals for brainwashing anymore. Maybe they figured out long ago how harmful that chemical could be and changed to electrocuting. And as dangerous and painful as that is, it is not life-threatening the way the chemical would have been."

"So, another one or two brainwashing sessions on the chair won't kill me."

You shook your head. "Nope. They have done that to you so often now that more sessions would hardly make a difference to your health."

"And the general doesn't know about this?"

"Nope. He has no idea about what happens outside the missions or the training grounds."

The soldier pauses for a second. Why did you do that? Lies or deceit were taken very seriously here. The consequences were worse than death. Why would you put yourself at risk?

"You can't keep lying to them. One day, they would find out." He says and internally prays to whatever god is up there that day never comes.

"Worth it." You reply without any ounce of hesitation in your voice. And you were being honest. You wouldn't let them hurt him, no matter what.

He shakes his head. "You don't have to do this for me. I am not worth it." And he believes this with every fiber of his being. Why would anyone risk anything to save him from pain?

"First of all, you are. You are worth much more than this, Bucky. And Second, I am not doing this for you. I am doing this for myself."

He narrowed his eyes at her in confusion before she continued.

"What will I do if you forgot about me, soldier?"

Bucky looks up and when his blue eyes meet yours, for a second, the whole world stops, there's no Hydra or the constant fear of something happening, the guilt or the memories, it's just two people who had found each other at the worst possible time and were now praying to whatever god was up there, to let them have this. Each other.

Things were calm and peaceful.

And it would stay like that. For some more time at least.

Taglist - @vicmc624 @buckybringsviolets @caritobbg @soulofendlessbook @kamaria-sweet-writes @pixxerella94 @shortnloud

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thecandywrites · 1 year

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Monster March 2023- Day 20- Humanoid Cat/Cat folk- Part 1

What to Bring to a Table

Ok, so we've all heard the saying that in relationships- 'What do you bring to the table?" Right? And the older I get, the more I realize, that metaphor is, as archaic as it is, still has a good point.

It's not really about what you can bring to a table, but it's about the table itself. Or its what you as the individual are and have made yourself into. Is the table well made? Is it purely decorative or is it dual purpose or is it rough or just slapped haphazardly together? Is it too high for anyone to reach? Is it so low that it's barely off the ground? How big should it be? Or should it fear that another will come along and saw it and break it apart and rebuild it to suit them? Or worse yet, look at the table that you've built and stacked and stocked for yourself, and think they're entitled to eat everything on it, leaving you with table scraps and a tale full of dirty dishes?

And it should also be a of note, that each dish that you may try to put on the table itself, may have been a labor of love and you may have put a lot of work and effort into it. But if all that hard work is not recognized or praised or noticed, but if anything, taken for granted or demanded, then why do it at all?

And I was totally listening to Labour by Paris Paloma while I was writing this and it shows. And while that song did unlock thousands of years of feminine rage, for guys to recognize that it is a lot of labor and that they should count themselves privledged to even be invited to take a seat at the table and come to the table with some support, and praise and recognition of all the hard work that went into the table and be willing to do the same and willing to join their own table to yours, not to feast and then walk away, but to help make both tables better and stronger for it and willing to cook for the food and clean up after too.

Also, I was severely injured last week and it's thrown yet another monkey wrench into my life. And then my grandmother's caretaker, went off her meds, got 51/50'd into the psyche ward for homicidal tendancies so I, even as injured and in as much pain as I'm in, have tried to help in facilitating her rescue and escape and get her safely to my Mom, only to find out, only hours before we were supposed to go that my parents both got Covid. And then I immediately tested myself, at the time, I tested negative. So it was up to me to clean/disinfect and sanitize my parent's van that just got an oil change and brand new tires so that two of my three sisters could take it down to AZ to pick up my grandmother and bring her here to Ohio. And guess what? I woke up sick this morning myself. Which, honestly, is no surprise for me. I just hope my injury continues to heal and I don't have to be hospitalized for it. Because i'm at risk for MRSA, Staff, Sepsis, and Gangrene. Murphy's Law might as well be my middle name.

Anyway, my first exophillia stories, were actually with rakshasa. So this is going...all the way back to the beginning and then reworking this and rewriting this was really fun for me. I forgot how much I missed this story and these characters. And this was actually fanfiction of @momolady 's Ruby Empire, that I got her permission to write, way back when.

Thanks to @borealwrites for their Monster March 2023 prompts. I know it's April now, but I only have 11 more prompts to go. And when I'm done, I'll put them all in a masterlist like I did with Kinktober.

Monster March 2023 Day 20- Humanoid Cat- Rakshasa

Zakira and Sulaimon

Part 1

Commander Sulaimon Ahusharaht stood stoically by as he waited for the envoy from Willow to come. Willow, was the newest prefecture and protected city state of The Ruby Empire. And his friend, Lomi, and his wife, who was from Willow, asked him if he could serve as an escort to some members of the envoy. She even offered to pay for him to do so. But Lomi and Zara-Joy were his friends and he gladly accepted the request, no payment needed. From that moment, Zara-Joy had told him all about who she wanted him to protect, her best friend, Zakira Ukani and her daughter Zeeanna, while they would be in The Crown City of The Ruby Empire. They were a small ethnic group from Masraiem, before the War of the Pharaohs tore The Old Kingdom from the top down and rebuilt the The New Kingdom of Masraiem a new, and a new dynasty to go with it. And thankfully the people of Willow were thankfully spared. But not for long. And before Willow knew it, it was pulled into a war, it had lost the knowledge and training to fight in the first place. Masraiem while demanding soldiers- did not offer the protection they once promised. Which was why they sought out the Ruby Empire instead.

According to Zara-Joy, Zakira was descended from the Old Dynasty Royalty. Granted it had been an affair with one of the pharaoh’s many sons. Thankfully she left with her illegitimate heir and kept them safe from The War of The Pharaoh’s and from being killed off as being an heir period, because they were out to take out any and all remnants of the Old Kingdom to set up The New Kingdom and the New Dynasty. However, the reason she still held the title of Mushrief was because her family had otherwise been the heads over the pharaoh's kitchens and especially the banquets. And those traditions got passed down to the point that Zakira was hands down, no contest- the best cook in all of Willow. Her family had planted the most amazing vineyards, growing many kinds of grapes, making the best wine. Olives for olive oil. And figs and palms for dates. Along with leeks, garlic, onions, tomatoes, and other herbs and especially spices. The most prized being saffron of course while her own family were also from the kitchens but were responsible for the desserts. Thus all the marshmallows and other confections, with figs and dates and pomegranates and other fruits.

But while all the talk of food had made Sulaimon very, very hungry. Zara-Joy stressed that he needed to use extra care and caution with her. Zakira was widowed. Her husband and love of her life, practically since infancy, had left for war, and not returned. Along with her own father and brothers. And she was the only daughter of her family. And so before the men went off to war, they all got hastily married, even though Zakira and Zahir had been planning on getting married anyway. But, instead had to share their wedding night with all the others. And she was one of four who got pregnant. And none of the fathers to the new babies had come back. Either a family got either a father, or in rare instances, a son back. But never both. Nearly all of the men of Willow had gone, except for the lame and very old. And only a handful had returned, and were never the same.

But Zakira’s father, nor her brothers, nor her husband came back. Her mother died of grief. And she nearly lost herself and her baby to grief several times. To the point, many of Zakira’s friends simply moved in with her to help her care for herself and at least nurture her own pregnancy. And Zakira had not moved on. She refused to wear white, because she refused to accept the deaths of any of them. And instead, had only worn black ever since. Even if the weather was good for it or not.

Sulaimon, being a black jaguar rakshasa himself, could empathize. He was naturally dark, so the sun was always shining most fiercely over him. And all he could hope was that for Zeeanna’s sake, she too would not be dressed in black either, for fear she would overheat. But Zara-Joy assured him that Zeeanna was now the only thing Zakira was living for, and she was the most loved, cherished, and spoiled rotten baby in all of Willow. Where Zakira would always make sure she was bathed, clean and well fed. So that Zeeanna would never have a reason to cry in the first place. Which worried Zara-Joy, who by now, was expecting herself and she worried that Zeeanna was going to grow up- never hearing the word “no” and know what it meant. And that the reason Zara-Joy specifically asked Sulaimon, was because he had a lot of experience with babies, since all of his siblings had them of all ages and he was used to watching them to give his siblings and their mates breaks and “date nights”. And that she was hoping Sulaimon would give Zeeanna, the gentle, but firm correction and loving discipline, she would no doubt need since she was fast approaching the terrible twos, despite only being about a year old.

But that, was what gave Sulaimon pause, because most parents were usually pretty protective over their kids and didn’t like “strangers” telling them how to parent their kids. Especially when he didn’t have any himself. So, he would just have to wait and see how this meeting with Zakira and Zeeanna would go.

But that fact that he was even willing, was a huge relief to Zara-Joy, who then, gave him a “gift” to exchange to Zakira since Willow was known for it’s customs and traditions of trading gifts. That he would give this bottle of perfume to her once they got to meet in person. And she’d give him a flower necklace that would match the one she would make for herself and the flower necklace would serve like a name badge so she would be able to tell him apart from the other escorts who were also called in on this.

Sulaimon watched as his comrades were happy to meet their person in the envoy to escort them while they were here, visiting with Zara-Joy and her husband.

Sulaimon waited and waited and waited as the envoy that never seemed to end, as he realized, it was practically one huge group of young women, all Zara-Joy’s age, with a few families, being in the mix. They all came in and greeted Zara Joy first before she pointed them to their escorts and protectors. And soon, all of his friends and comrades on either side of him and all around him were pulled to their intended protectee- while in the Crown City.

Finally, the last person in the envoy came through the gate, leaving Sulaimon to assume that this must have been Zakira Ukani. She was, indeed- wearing all black, although it was embroidered with gold thread as an accent. But she was clutching a small baby to her chest, wrapped in still damp white clothes to keep her cool in the heat. Which fit the description Zara-Joy gave him. So he figured that was his cue to finally go up and introduce himself at least.

But the closer he got, the moment she pulled her black hood back, to reveal a river of black and sun lightened brown hair, he was suddenly mesmerized and then slowed down to a stop as his pupils dilated as wide as they could be while his focus was suddenly solely on her. She had to be the most beautiful human looking woman he had ever seen before in his life. The Crown City had all sorts of species of people. So he was used to seeing all manner of them. But to see all of these very pretty girls come in, his friends were suddenly very pleased with the “assignment”.

But once she embraced her friend and then Zara-Joy pointed to him, her face changed to that of one of weariness and apprehension but she seemed to try to push that down as she purposefully came forward to at least meet him halfway before his feet soon did the same.

“Mushrief Zakira Ukani?” He greeted hopefully as he came over to her.

“Commander Sulaimon Ahushrat.” She greeted back cordially as her voice still had a thicker Masraiem accent. And he had heard tales of queens of the Pharoh’s being handpicked from the beauties of Masraiem to serve in his harem when he wasn’t, of course, fucking his own sisters to keep a “pure” bloodline, that is, well, at least, according the rumors anyway.

“I believe this is for you.” He offered the gift of the bottle of perfume.

“Thank you, and this is a gift for you.” She offered as she handed him the flower necklace whose blooms were the darkest reds and purples and practically black themselves, but their scents were heady and heavy but divine.

“Thank you.” As he took it from her and put it on himself while she put the bottle of perfume away into the bag that hung at her hip but hung across her own chest, over her mother’s sling, where her baby was nestled against so that her own mother’s breasts could serve as pillows when she would sleep. The baby still had milk on her face. This was probably why she was the last in, she wanted to feed her baby right before and was probably hanging back to do just that.

“So this must be little Zeeanna.” He gestured to the baby at her chest before said baby turned at the sound of her name from clutching at her mother to look him over curiously. And if Sulaimon thought that Zakira was beautiful, this little baby had to be the most adorable baby he had ever seen before in his life, his own nieces included.

But after Zeeanna looked him over, she seemed to make up her mind about him and pulled away from her mother and leaned towards him and started cooing and babbling at him and reaching out with her chubby little hands.

“No, Anna.” Zakira immediately pulled her baby away from him and tried to wrap her up even closer in the mother sling she had her daughter in.

“I wouldn’t mind holding her.” He offered.

“No, she’d hurt herself on all the weapons that are strapped to you.” Zakira sharply turned him down as she tried walking back to her horse while also trying to contain a now very wriggling and bawling baby in her mother’s sling.

“Here, I’ll take them off.” Sulaimon offered before he took off the straps across his chest where his daggers were and put them around his hips instead so his arms and chest were disarmed and open.

“Your armor’s most likely burning hot in the sun, it would burn her skin.” Zakira added as she tried to continue to excuse as she tried to walk away but with each wail of Anna, she got more upset and distressed, as did he before he took that off too and handed it all to a friend to keep for him.

“There, I’m not wearing anything that’ll hurt her or harm her. I can hold her.” He offered as Anna was trying to climb up her mom’s chest, and over her shoulder and cried and still reached out to him and Sulaimon didn’t care if he’d strip down to bare fur if he had to -because her cries were hurting him more than any burning arrow could.

Finally, Zakira turned around and noticed that he had taken off his chest armor and his daggers and even the swords on their belt at his waist before she begrudgingly and reluctantly got Anna out of her sling and then nervously handed her baby over and watched him like a hawk as he took her and held her securely in his arms as she instantly stopped crying and settled down as Sulaimon instantly started soothing her and cooing to her in turn.

“Well it’s nice to meet you too. So Anna huh?” He assumed as he looked at her as she smiled, showing off four, tiny little teeth in her otherwise bare gums. Sulaimon made sure his claws were otherwise deep into his fingers as he oh so carefully wiped the tears from Anna’s eyes and her cheeks and began to purr to put her at ease which helped her settle down more and relax and get comfortable.

“Everything ok?” He asked Zakira as he looked up from Anna to see Zakira standing there, watching him hold her daughter as she was frowning in confusion at the scene.

“She…she usually doesn’t like anyone but me to hold her.” Zakira reluctantly admitted.

“Zara-Joy said that she and Lomi got to when they came to visit Willow last.” Sulaimon recalled. So at least he wasn’t first rakshasa Zeeanna had ever met before.

“I…I thought it was a fluke.” Zakira allowed.

“Well, Zara-Joy is a very sweet person and her husband was always a remarkable guard in the Palace Guard and is a very good and honorable man. Babies have good senses about people.” Sulaimon offered before he reached up to brush Anna’s thick curls from her face before Anna reached out to grab his hand.

“Oh, Anna don’t…!” Zakiria immediately rushed to pull his hand out of her daughter’s grasp. But was not fast enough.

Because with lightning fast speed and surprising strength, Anna grabbed his hands, one hand on his thumb, and the other on his pinky and shoved the back of his first finger into her mouth and bit down. Hard.

Sulaimon impressed himself by not roaring out in pain but his ears pinned back as his gasp and grunt of pain while his tail nearly snapped like a whip. He just instantly clenched his jaw and let out a low growl as his face scrunched up in pain as his eyes snapped shut before he heard Anna let out the most evil little giggle as Zakira gasped in horror at her daughter’s actions.

He took a few calming breaths and opened his eyes and fixed Anna with a softened but still firm look of disapproval.

“I’m so sorry, she’s a biter. I should have warned you.” Zakira offered apologetically as she tried to pry his hand from her daughter’s mouth.

“No Anna! No biting! Biting bad!” Zakira chastised her baby and popped Anna in the mouth once she had freed Suilaimon’s hand from Anna’s grip and her daughter’s mouth, but that only sent Anna into hysterics again before she rolled in Sulaimons’ arms and sought comfort in Sulaiman's arms and chest and rolled away from her mom to avoid her look of disappointment and anger.

“Anna, you need to listen to your Mama ok? Biting for the fun of it is bad. If you’re biting to defend yourself, that’s one thing. But biting just to be mean is bad ok?” Sulaimon offered as he moved her to lay over his shoulder and rubbed soothing circles into her back as she then tried to climb into his shirt, like it was another sling before he opened up the top of the vest over his shirt to make a pocket to put herself in. as she was happy to do that.

Then she gave a huge burp and Sulaimon’s ears went back again as he could feel her milky spit up spill down his back. That this heat only amplified the scent and the feeling of it soaking into his clothes and going down them too.

“I am so sorry!” Zakira apologized again as she grabbed a cloth from her back to try to wipe it up and off of him before it would soak into his clothes too much. But then Zakira was happy to simply sigh in relief and then nuzzle her head into the crux of Sulaimon’s neck and shoulder and reach up and grab a fistful of his fur in her fist and then promptly, fell soundly asleep.

Zakira tried to clean it up only to look up and softly gasp at the sight again.

“What’s wrong?” Sulaimon asked as his ears trained on Zakira behind him.

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong, she’s…she’s asleep. She hasn’t slept hardly at all this whole trip. She has been incredibly upset and restless since we left home. And…she really needs it. I’m sorry she made a mess of your clothes. I can try to wash them once we get to..” She tried to offer.

“No, it’s fine. Babies are messy. I know. I don’t have any myself but all of my siblings do. This is not the first or the last time this vest and this outfit will have gotten spit up on it. And it’s pretty easy to clean too, no worries. There’s more than enough soap and fresh water to wash it, and I can wash it myself if need be.” Sulaimon calmly reassured her.

“Well, thank you, very much for understanding that and being so gracious about this.” Zakira offered.

“Thank you for trusting me with Anna.” Sulaimon offered in kind as they seemed to finally catch gazes and really see, each other, for who they really were. Sulaimon could just see that she was a young widow, trying to deal with immense grief and loss and motherhood all at once and all on her own. And he could empathize with that. And she could see that, while he may have looked rakshasa, there was still a very good man in there, underneath all that handsome fur.

“Well, you’re right, babies can tell things about people. And if she likes you enough to play with you, even though she did that by biting you. And if she is comfortable enough to fall asleep in your arms, and you’re willing to forgo your weapons and armor to just hold her. Then I’m sure I can entrust her into your care for now.” Zakira offered, with the shyest of smiles, it was small, but still precious before she noticed the others were getting back up on their horses.

“Do you need help to get back up on your horse?” Sulaimon asked.

“Uh, no, I’m fine, I got it.” She quickly dismissed.

“Yeah, I know you do. Just, let me at least, offer you a leg up. Here, put your foot on my knee, and you’ll get up on your horse easier.” He offered before he knelt next to her stallion, while still keeping Anna on his other shoulder and securely in his other arm.

“Thank you.” She thanked him as she took his free hand and used his offered knee to jump up onto her stallion and let him lead the stallion with the others as the group went to Zara-Joy’s palace with the others where she had many guest rooms prepared for her guests from home.

“Joy! You didn’t have to go all out like this.” Zakira said as she appraised the suite of rooms that her friend showed her to and the many gifts all around it.

“I can, so I did. Plus I mean look, won’t Anna look so pretty in these?” Zara-Joy asked as she showed Zakira the matching mommy and daughter outfits she had gotten Zakira, that progressed include other colors other than black, trying to tempt Zakira out of her prolonged mourning. Slowly, but surely.

“Yes, they’re very beautiful. I don’t know how I could ever…” Zakira began to say.

“Do not cheapen my gifts by trying to think of how much they are worth or how much trouble they were to acquire. Please, don’t steal my joy, accept them. And if you can bring yourself to wear even a bangle, I’ll be happy. I know it’s been hard grieving, but you’re here, enjoy it. They have an entire Spice District here in the Crown City in the Market Square, I’m sure you’ll have fun playing around and finding new ways to mix them together to make anything you wanted. My chefs would be eager to watch you work and try to copy down all those secret recipes your ancestors brought over from the old country being the exquisite Mushariefs they always have been. Your kitchen has always had the best food in all of Willow. Find something new and create something or put a twist on the old. Or even honor the old ways if you really want to. In the meantime, I know you’re anxious to get cleaned up from all the dust from the roads, come, this palace has it’s own private bathhouse.” Zara urged her friend before Anna woke up from her nap and looked around.

“Just in time, come on Anna, lets get you and Mommy and the other women cleaned up ok?” Zara-Joy said before Zakira took her daughter back from Sulaimon.

“Joy got you some special oils Sweetheart, come on, let’s get cleaned up and we can let Commander…” Zakira began.

“It’s just Sulaimon or Sully if you really want to be casual, you don’t have to use my rank or anything.” Sulaimon invited.

“Oh, well then it’s just Zakira for me then, excuse us.” She said as she simply grabbed the closest set of bathing robes, scooping up undergarments under them as she did so and put them with the basket of bathhouse supplies.

“You can use the other side of the bathhouse, and obviously, get your shirt and vest cleaned at least.” Zara-Joy urged Sulaimon as she went with her friend and urged all the women to join her in “the ladies” side of the bathhouse.

“Why did you choose Sulaimon to escort me around?” Zakira asked her friend once they disrobed and stepped into the ever hot and gently floating water. While the other women were already giddily talking about how much they liked and were attracted to their escorts.

“Because, when he’s not in “Commander Mode”, he’s surprisingly quiet yet gentle. He comes from a large but very good family. He’s always been single because the military has always been his career and he’s always saved his wages living in the barracks. And once all of his siblings got married and started having kids, suddenly he found himself on more blind dates because everyone always wants to play matchmaker with him. And he is very guarded against that sort of thing. As I know you have been since you lost Zahir. This way, I figured you’d both get the break from the pressure, even if it’s only for a visit.” Zara-Joy casually explained as she tried to hide her scheming smile as she helped wash Anna and wash her hair while Zakira washed Anna’s body and thought that over and did feel a sense of relief to learn that.

“Has he ever had…” Zakira began to ask but her emotion cut off her voice.

“No, he’s never been married, but according to Lomi, he did like one girl. But she couldn’t wait for him to even get out of basic training and was already six months pregnant by the time he came back from his training that takes a year. And the worst part was that she cheated on one of the idiots who got kicked out of basic training because it was too hard for him. And apparently had been having an affair with the other one before he even left for basic training. So ever since then, he’s just…thrown himself into his military career and training more cadets and making sure they are well trained, and very well equipped.” Zara-Joy answered.

“I wish Willow had had something like that.” Zakira muttered resentfully.

“I know. But now that Willow is an ally of The Ruby Empire, no more will the men of Willow be led to the slaughter and I’m sure Sulaimon would be the first to volunteer to teach such things there, so that Willow will no longer be vulnerable or at the mercy of anyone or anything, other than the weather itself.” Zara-Joy insisted as Zakira nodded but still fought back tears.

“Not that there’s many men left.” Zara practically hissed.

“The war took too much from us. From you especially. That’s why I chose the best soldier in King Amit’s army as your escort. Because even if he was without weapons altogether. He would and will find a way to keep you and especially Anna safe, even when you’re not inside your home or inside mine.” Joy soothed Zakira as she put conditioning oils into Anna’s hair.

“Where will he be staying while I’m here?” Zakira asked.

“In the next room over from you. And there is a private entrance from his quarters into yours so you don’t have to go out into the hallway if you don’t want to. But there’s a lock on all the doors so no one will have access to you or Anna without your permission and consent.” Zara reassured her friend.

Zakira got redressed in a bathrobe and took Anna back to her room so she could give Anna a proper massage and a chance to nurse again, since she did spit up quite a bit, and hopefully, fill a diaper or two before she would get dressed and then put Anna into her new outfit, because Zakira did not want Anna to make a mess of such a precious little outfit.

Then there was a knock on the door that Zara-Joy had told Zakira led to Sulaimon’s guest room.

“Yes Sulaimon?” Zakira asked.

“Dinner is almost ready. Are you ready or do you need help with Anna or anything?” He asked through the door as he finished getting redressed himself in clean clothes and had washed himself. So that he too would be fresh and clean for dinner.

“No, I’m…” Zakira began before Anna immediately popped off from nursing and began to babble and call out to Sulaimon and began crawling on the large bed to get towards the door while Zakira huffed and pulled the robe around her tighter once Anna got to the end of the bed and actually slid down from the bed to the chaise lounge at the bottom of the bed and then slid down safely to the floor and was crawling as fast as Zakira had ever seen Anna move before.

“Ah! Anna!” Zakira tried to lunge to catch her daughter before she slid from the bed and then got up to try to catch her before she fell from the chaise lounge at the end of the bed.

But Sulaimon, upon hearing Zakira yelp at her daughter broke the door down and open to get to her but only came in to see Anna there, sitting up on her feet on the other side with Zakira trying to reach for her as Anna smiled happily to see Sulaimon again and closed the distance between herself and him and climbed to stand up on his legs while babbling and reaching for him.

“Oh, I’m, I’m so sorry, I heard…” Sulaimon quickly apologized as he quickly scooped Anna up into his arms only to be met with the sight of Zakira in only a robe that had come a bit loose in her attempts to get her daughter up off the floor.

“Sorry to worry, you, obviously, she’s…she’s just fine, I just didn’t think she could move that fast.” Zakira tried to excuse as she looked at the way the wood broke in the door itself as the lock was still in the other half of the lock in the wall.

“Nor did I think you’d be that strong, unless that door is especially flimsy.” Zakira offered as she gestured to it before Zara-Joy and her husband Lomi came in to see the scene.

“What happened?” Zara-Joy asked as she looked between her friend and Sulaimon as Sulaimon’s ears pinned back sheepishly.

“I heard Zakira cry out for Anna and thought they were in danger, and I uh, I broke your door. I can uh. I can either pay for its repair or replacement.” Sulaimon offered.

“Wow, don’t worry about it. You were just doing your job.” Lomi reassured his friend as he appraised the door before he unlocked it and the other half of the locking mechanism fell onto the floor once it was released as Lomi picked it up.

“That’s quite impressive.” Lomi praised.

“Zakira, if you want to be moved I have another spare room available.” Zara-Joy offered consolingly.

“No it’s alright. I think if anything, it just proved that you chose a good and protective escort for me. To the point he’d break your house at the thought of Anna being in danger, it’s fine. I was going to unlock it and keep it unlocked anyway.” Zakira offered.

“Well, we can still get it replaced while we have dinner. But um, we would just need to put away your gifts for when the repairmen come to install the new door, but first you might want to get dressed.” Zara suggested before she helped Zakira get a set of clothes and into the bathroom before she put the gifts she had gotten her into the dressers and other places in the room before Lomi left to seek out a new doorman.

“Great first impression.” Sulaimon muttered to himself as he simply got Anna dressed in the matching outfit that corresponded to the one that Zakira had grabbed and got Anna dressed at least.

“I thought it wasn’t half bad.” Zara- Joy shrugged.

“Why’d you pick me as her escort? Why not Rhyad? He is a composer and you told me that Zakira was too. At least they would have that in common.” Sulaimon asked Zara as she continued to put all the jewelry that she knew Zakira probably overlooked before she pulled out a different necklace that didn’t match the style of any of the jewelry that was common in The Ruby Empire, much less the Crown City.

“I could have. But even though they both love music, they have very different views about it. Rhyad and his music is all about the big performance, the large, complicated and intricate workings. Zakira believes in the simple but profound and authentic music. That even if all you have, is your own voice, than that is all the instrument you really need to make good music. And using the natural sounds around you to set the pace and the rhythm. But otherwise, when Rhyad is not a composer, he is a pushover. And that’s not what Anna needs. Anna is a stinker through and through. Aren’t you- you cheeky rascal.” Zara-Joy cooed to Anna as she sat on the bed next to where Anna was being laid down so Sulaimon could dress her, after he checked her diaper to make sure it didn’t need changing.

“You have a great capacity to give Anna the gentle firmness in structure and discipline that she’s been missing so far. Honestly, I think Anna only does most of the naughty things as more of a joke and to get a laugh, which is why she’s the first to laugh, hoping her mother will too, or at least, just to see Zakira smile. Because all Zakira could do once Anna was born, was cry to see so much of Zahir in her. I’m surprised she just didn’t outright name her Zahini instead.”

Zara-Joy admitted in a low murmur as Zakira eavesdropped while she got ready.

“Too much like tahini or zucchini.” Sulaimon noted which got Zara-Joy to snicker a laugh while Zakira made a face.

“Yeah, that’s what Zahir had said before he left too. He liked the name Zeeanna, his little Anna - Banana. But not his little Zee, because there’s always too many little Zee’s in Willow as it is. It’s hard enough that I share my name with three others. You saw Zara-Grace and Zara-Hope already. So little Anna it is. And she does like bananas, ripe ones anyway. Which I thought was great, a way to finish off the Z’s and get back to the other letters of the alphabet.” Zara-Joy admitted with a bittersweet smile to Anna once Sulaimon finished dressing her before Zara-Joy put the distinctly Mizraim piece of jewelry onto Anna, coiling it around her chubby little upper arm as Zakira leaned against the door and fought back tears of the memory of Zahir talking about Anna-Bananna and how Zakira had laughed at how profoundly stupid that would be to name a daughter that as Zakira smiled bittersweetly at the memory and wiped the tears from her eyes before they could fall down her face and tried to regain her composure.

“There, like proper Khandi.” Zara-Joy cooed to Anna once she finished putting the arm band around her upper arm.

“Why did Wennet lead your people out of Mizraiem when she did?” Sulaimon asked.

“Because in Wennet’s temple, it’s a place of peace, understanding and clairvoyance. Wenet could see there was going to be feud between who would be next to be Pharaoh over Mizraiem. And she could tell it would be futile. Princes were already trying to pit the gods themselves against one another in the pantheon. And Wenet didn’t want any part of it. So she led her most loyal of followers out. And led them to Willow. A valley, surrounded by tall mountains that look like just another arid wasteland on the outside. But such mountains held treasures for us. And she wanted to enjoy such treasures in peace, without anyone coming to conquer and take them away. That is why if you ever get to go to Willow, it looks like a piece of Mazraiem plucked right out of the Mizraiem Delta and plopped right into the Willow Valley. Because that’s what Wenet did for us, or at least, according to the ancestors. She at first, only transported her temple to Willow. And then, as more and more of Mazriam was taken up by the sands when the Old Kingdom of Mazraiem fell when there was the war of the Pharaohs, and thankfully she got to save some of the better houses and transport them to Willow for us to live in. Now granted the houses were made for the Mazraiem Delta, we’ve made them our own and to suit the weather and conditions in The Willow Valley. She even had all of the priestesses and priests and loyal followers put all of their most precious possessions into the temple itself so that they could flee Mazraiem with only food and clothing and tents for shelter, saying they needed to go out into the wilderness to go on a pilgrimage, and not be stopped. Which, according the ancestors, worked.” Zara-Joy recounted.

“And then once they were safely out of Mazraiem, Wennet led them to the Valley of Willow herself, where she had already moved all of their houses and their gardens and even made off with one of the Pharaoh’s seed storehouses and his livestock. So for once, we could have our animals, breed and raise them with love and care, slaughter them as they got old to feed ourselves, but not before. Seeds and saplings and vines, so we could plant and grow our own food. And work for no one but ourselves. No more pyramids to build, no more elaborate burial rituals of the pharaohs and other nobles. And no more slavery, no more sacrifices to feed a never ending need to outdo the previous pharaoh before them. Just a place to worship in peace. To not toil under the sun and harvest food for the noble’s table while we were simply given bread and fish and oil, without having to brave crocodiles or hippos to get the fish in the first place.” Zara-Joy recalled with a fond smile.

“The reason Zakira has the title of Musharif was because her ancestry came from the pharaoh’s household of servants, Musharif was the title held by the head of the banquet feast, making sure every dish that came out of the kitchens, whether it be served to pharaoh or one of his nobles, or guests, would be met with pleasure. And that has not been forgotten. The foods from Zakira’s house since Willow’s founding, have always been the best in all of Willow. She elevates simple, humble ingredients and elevates them to dishes worthy to be used as food offerings to any and every god worthy of them.” Zara-Joy praised.

“Oh like your own confections do not deserve the same praise?” Zakira offered as she came out of the bathroom redressed in the outfit Zara-Joy had gotten her as Zara smiled while Sulaimon’s breath was practically pulled from his chest. Because Zakira was even more breathtaking. Which he didn’t think could be possible. But here he was, sitting down on the bed with Anna in his arms and smiling in awe while Anna giggled with glee to see her mom’s bashful smile at Zara-Joy’s praise.

“Sometimes. It depends on the humidity.” Zara-Joy shrugged.

“Here, I got you…” Zara said before she reached behind her and got out a special Masraiem style arm band that doubled as a bracelet and offered it to her friend as Zakira took it and smiled fondly at it before she put it over her wrist but refused any other makeup or jewelry.

“Thank you for indulging me. You look beautiful.” Zara-Joy praised.

“Agreed, very beautiful.” Sulaimon praised with a proud grin and realized as an afterthought that the teal on his own dress clothes matched hers and that made his heart beam with pride and happiness. Zakira spared Sulaimon an appreciative smile and decided to wear the perfume you had gotten her after all, just a small line down the center of her chest.

Sulaimon tried to hide his deep breath in when he smelled the perfume but Zakira caught it and grinned to herself before she put a couple of the toys into her bag along with a few extra cloth diapers and things into it.

“Well, dinner should be ready any time now.” Zara-Joy encouraged.

“Here, let me get that.” Sulaimon offered as he reached out for Anna’s diaper bag to put on and wear for her, so Zakira didn’t have to carry it herself. Zakira got her own flower necklace on and dupatta before leaving with him, taking his arm as he escorted them back to the dining room. When they arrived all the girls and young women gasped softly and reached over to grab their friends, cousins and sisters as they shared an excited look and bright, excited smiles.

“You look beautiful!” They all told Zakira as she walked by.

“Thank you, a gift from Joy.” Zakira answered.

“Aww!” They all fawned before reaching out to feel the silk of her skirt as she passed them. When she was done passing them they looked to Zara-Joy and gave her an appreciative smile for finally succeeding in getting her to wear a color other than black, even if it was just a skirt, it was still a small victory.

Zakira and Sulaimon sat down at the very long table, and towards the end that had the other young mothers and widows as Sulaimon’s friends were practically doing the same thing he was, holding the daughters of the women they were escorting while they were in Willow.

Although he could already see and feel all the romantic chemistry going off like fireworks among everyone else while he felt awkward because Zakira was not giving him any indication of any interest in him, other than platonic friendliness, as he felt more resistance than anything. But while he was attracted to her, he would respect that unconscious choice she had made and not pursue anything. But the conversation that Zakira engaged in was telling. She was proud of her home, and she was proud of her orchards and her vineyards and was very much looking forward to the harvest this year. And Sulaimon realized why she was resistant. She didn’t want to give up her freedom, independence and control up, which he could sympathize and empathize with. Because that’s why he had been resistant in the past, because he didn’t want to give up the lifestyle he had learned to like and appreciate up either. He liked his own freedom, independence and control over his own life, and his own finances and while he liked to come home to his family for the family dinners, and while the invitation was always open to move into the large suite of rooms that doubled as a home within his parent’s much larger home, he had liked his bachelorhood. Not that he would go out and stay out all night like he used to as a young cadet and soldier. But, that the option was always there. He liked having the ability to take on any assignment at the drop of a hat because he had no other obligations than his own work ones without a second thought about anything.

“You’ve been quiet.” Zakira noticed when she noticed that Sulaimon, other than eating and listening to the conversation, didn’t add too much to it.

“I’m just listening.” Sulaimon offered.

“And you’re brooding.” Zakira realized.

“I don’t mean to be.” Sulaimon replied apologetically.

“No, you’re thinking, I can practically see and hear the gears in your head turning from here. What do you think?” Zakira asked.

“About what?” Sulaimon asked.

“Any of it? All of it? Something in particular that’s catching your attention?” Zakira asked.

“How similar we are.” Sulaimon answered which got Zakira to blink in surprise as a small smile soon spread on her lips.

“How so?” She asked.

“You have a home that’s been in your family for generations since Willow’s founding, taken right from Masraiem. Your family, in that time has built up a lot. And you have a responsibility to all of it. To keep it safe and protected for Zeeanna. In Willow, you have full and complete control of everything. Your home, your fields, your vineyards, your orchards, your gardens. And traditions you feel you need to keep alive that have been passed down. And on top of that, you’re raising Anna all on your own when you thought you’d be sharing all of that with, with Zahir. Now you have to do it all by yourself. You’re a stronger person than most. You’ve strengthened your shoulders for such burdens, all while grieving. Most would have crumbled and been crushed by such things. And while you carry those burdens well, doesn’t mean that they’re not heavy. And it’s very admirable.” Sulaimon praised in a low murmur.

“So how are we similar in that respect?” Zakira asked.

“I’m the youngest Commander. I’m up for the position of being a General soon. And if I get it, I’ll be the youngest one to do so. It’s a lot of responsibility. And a burden that very few can comprehend, let alone wrap their heads around. You have a family legacy that you are doing everything you can to keep alive. And I can sympathise with that. Where you have fields, and orchards and vineyards, I have entire troops to care for and attend to myself. And I take that responsibility very seriously. And I’ve traded a “traditional” life for the one I have now. I moved out from my parents home as soon as the army could let me. I moved into the barracks and I never moved out. Granted I’ve moved around in the barracks, but other than my uniform and armor, I have all this freedom and independence to do what I want when I want, well, when I’m not following orders myself that is. And so far, I haven’t wanted to give that up for anything. And I don’t know how much Zara-Joy has told you about me. But because I’m a bachelor, I’m always getting set up on blind dates and all they see is decorated soldier, or they see my family’s legacy that everyone else in the family is keeping alive and building and adding onto, but me, because I wanted to have something of my own. And it came with a lot of responsibilities that I’ve had to strengthen my own shoulders to bear too. But I chose this and I chose my path and my job and my career. You haven’t. You haven’t had a choice in taking it all on and doing so all by yourself. You’re officially the strongest person I know.” Sulaimon offered as Zakira’s eyes got glassy but her smile was so sweet because she finally felt seen and felt sympathized and empathized with.

“It’s a lonely life isn’t it?” Zakira noted.

“It is. On one hand I see all my siblings married with kids and have families. And I know that marital union can bring a lot of happiness. But it can also come with a lot of strife and a lot of problems and complications and obligations. And all my siblings see me and my singleness, and they see my freedom and independence and they get jealous…” Sulaimon confessed.

“But they don’t see the responsibility and the burden and the loneliness.” Zakira finished for him.

“Right. Exactly.” Sulaimon nodded.

“Zara-Joy told me that you get set up on blind dates a lot. And that it’s always with girls who are privileged. And who are either after the glory of your military career, or your family’s status and wealth and think all they have to do is seduce a soldier and then never have to do much of anything else and that all their problems are over and that your family will take care of them. Which is why none of them have worked out. Because you don’t want a girl looking for an easy way out.” Zakira surmised.

“Right again. Because the older I get, the more I realize that there are huge differences between a girl, a young woman, and a mature woman. The girls always have their heads filled with fairy tales and are looking for the whole, love at first sight, soul mate, perfect match kind of thing, which is honestly setting themselves up for failure. The young women, they are looking for security and looking to use their own beauty, or wealth or influence to get whatever they want, thinking that if they say the right things, do the right things, dress the right way, look the right way, it will come to them. But it’s the mature ones, who realize that if they want a life they want to live and do so happily, they have to build it themselves or someone else will build it for them and they may not like how it’s built for them by someone else. And if they’re going to share what they’ve built with someone, they want it to be the right person who appreciates them and sees the value in what they’ve built and appreciates the work it took to make it that way.” Sulaimon noted as Zakira was impressed that he was mature and smart enough to put that together.

“I’ve always heard the saying “what are you bringing to the table”. And when I was younger, I thought I had a lot to bring. The older I get, the more I realize that it’s the table itself that’s the most important part. Is the table well made? Is the table made with good and sturdy materials? Was it built with time, and careful effort and planning and actually hand crafted? Or was it just slapped together at the last minute and wonky and unstable and the moment you put anything on it, it’s all gonna slide right off or fall apart at the first test of how much the table can hold. And so far, I like to think I’ve built a decent table for myself. Granted some of the materials used were from my family and the style is similar. But I’ve had to build it none the less. And then once it was built, I’ve had it stacked and piled high and sometimes, feels overflowing and cluttered, when it’s not bare or being rebuilt to handle more and more weight and loads in the first place.” Sulaimon tried to illustrate.

“Exactly. And if you’re going to join your table with someone else’s, you want the table to be the same height as your own. And you want it to be just as strong and just as well made and just as sturdy as your own. You want help to keep it decluttered, but you don’t want to shove everything you have onto someone else or have everything on someone else’s table shoved onto yours so theirs is cleared for lavish meals while yours is piled high with work.” Zakira surmised.

“Yes! Exactly right.” Sulaimon practically laughed and beamed because finally, finally, someone understood it.

“Well, then you’re right. We are very similar and have a lot in common. I always thought my table, was the family’s table. And then when there was no family. Suddenly, I had to take ownership of it. And then realize what was broken, what was needing work and realizing that it’s just too big of a table to handle by myself, when I always thought I’d only be taking up a chair at the end of it. Not the one at the head of it. And the head chair at the head of a big, long table, that’s had generations of crap put onto it, it’s cluttered and disorganized and overwhelming. But if I’m going to adjoin my table with anyone else’s I’d want help with it. And not simply hand it all over so that anyone else can do whatever they want to it, or break it apart and use it for firewood.” Zakira confessed.

“Or use it as a cutting board. Or take a hacksaw to it and cut it and resize it how they want it, and not realize it’s built that way for a reason. Not for the looks, but for function.” Sulaimon muttered.

“Or think that it’s all for show and it’s meant to be embellished with fancy engravings and set up to look like it’s always full with a feast, but all the dishes are empty. And it’s never meant to be used or eaten from, always meant to be ornamental.” Zakira murmured back.

“Exactly. Because, while those fancy and elaborate tables are pretty. That’s all they are. They have no strength, integrity or function besides being looked at for how pretty it is, but the moment you put any kind of weight on it, it’ll fall apart and break.” Sulaimon nodded in agreement.

“Or one that will look at the feast you’ve made for yourself on that table and help themselves to it, and pull up a chair without an invitation and without bringing a dish to add. And then once they’ve eaten, won’t even help wash any of the dirty dishes or help clean up after either.” Zakira added.

“Or worse yet, assume that they should sit at the head of that table that you slaved over, making every dish delicious and think they should eat first and eat their fill and leave nothing for the person, who actually made the food in the first place, when in reality, if you’re hungry, work, get ingredients and learn how to cook it yourself. Because the first thing I teach my soldiers is how to cook for themselves and how to forage for themselves and how to tell what is good and safe water or not, or how to clean the water in the first place. Let alone, how to cook. I see more and more incompetence and that incompetence being weaponized because such work is “beneath them”. Which is frankly, stupid. Because if one is hungry, they have two hands, they can make it themselves. And if they still depend on their mothers for such things, they might as well still be in diapers and sucking on their thumbs and not in my army, let alone my platoons.” Sulaimon professed and Zakira’s jaw was practically on the floor as her smile of delight was like sunshine. Because if she had thought Sulaimon was handsome before, he was practically the sexiest man she had ever laid her eyes on since Zahir for having that attitude alone. And she practically had to stop herself from grabbing him by the whiskers and kissing him right there at the table.

Oh, when Zara-Joy said, that besides, Lomi, Sulaimon was practically the best man in the Crown City, she was not kidding.

“What?” Sulaimon asked as he looked at her as she seemed to have something turn alight in her.

“I…wow. I completely agree. I want to meet your mom and thank her for raising one hell of a good son. Because I realize you’re a grown man. But yes! A thousand times yes! You have no idea how infuriating that can be! Everyone in Willow, ever since we settled there has always gone on and on and on about how great the food at our home was and always praised my mother for her cooking skills when it wasn’t that at all. My parents were equals in the household and always did everything together. It wasn’t my mother that was doing all the cooking and cleaning. It was both of them doing those things together, both of my parents were always in the kitchen with everyone else, everyone learned how to cook, everyone, once they were weaned, learned how to keep their room clean and then learned how to help make the rest of the house clean. How to mend clothes, how to cook, how to judge whether something was ripe or not. What to look for in ripe or unripe foods and how to pick your spices and how to blend them and grind them, and usually the more delicious the food, the more preparations went into it and how satisfying it is to do the work and then all come around and share a meal that everyone had a hand in making. And doing so as a team that made their marriage and every marriage before, a success. Because that’s part of why Wennet had us break off from Masaier, because she saw how it was the women that did all the work but the men got all the fruitages of their work and assumed that because they worked outside the home, that that exempted them from doing anything in the home. Wow. Just…wow. I’m astounded that we have that much in common. Good for you for figuring that out, and if going through military training is a requirement, I hope you get to teach every man here and far beyond that lesson. Cause that lesson alone will bring them so much peace and pleasure and satisfaction, not only in their tents but especially when they get home and really see how much labor goes into those things.” Zakira praised.

“Well I mean if you really want to meet her, I can let them know. I’m sure they’d love to meet you and you could exchange recipes if you wanted.” Sulaimon offered.

“I would love that.” Zakira smiled happily as she finally seemed to lower the last of her guard and for once, ate to her own satisfaction and enjoyed all the flavors of all the various dishes as Sulaimon walked her through the traditional favorites as they bonded over food, and how to cook said food. And especially how to do laundry. And especially about how to be a self-sufficient adult.

After dinner, there was a series of games played, the biggest one being ‘cahoots’ that after the second round, Sulaimon was quick to catch on what the key was before Zakira let him whisper what he thought it was into her ear as she nursed Anna on a nearby couch, using her dupatta to maintain some modesty as Sulaimon was happy to sit next to her and help tuck it around her and between them so that Anna could nurse in peace and Zakira could do so with some modesty, which Zakira really appreciated.

“Yup. You got it.” Zakira smiled happily that he caught on that fast as his whisper sent a delightful shiver down her body.

“Sorry, whiskers.” Sulaimon apologized when he saw her skin break out in gooseflesh.

“It’s ok.” Zakira waived off as now she really just enjoyed the sound of his voice as her imagination of how his mouth would feel on her skin while she felt a bit guilty about the thought and fantasy before she hissed a gasp and clenched her jaw before she pulled the cover out to fix her daughter with a look.

“You bite- you’re done.” Zakira threatened Anna who didn’t seem to like that her view of Sulaimon was obstructed as she looked from her mother to Sulaimon.

“Anna, no biting Mommy. You bite her, you’re not gonna nurse. Mommy’s body worked hard to make that milk. Don’t bite her.” Sulaimon repeated as he peeked in and locked gazes with her too.

Anna’s eyes got a bit wide as she then looked from him to her mom with a look of shock.

“Yeah, you need to listen. We mean it. If you’re hungry, eat. But if you’re gonna bite, you’re not gonna nurse and I’ll just wean you early. I’m not having you bite me on the one of two places you can get milk from.” Zakira leveled before Anna seemed to take a minute to think it over before she picked up nursing.

“Thanks for backing me up.” Zakira thanked him.

“Of course, always. A mother knows best right?” Sulaimon offered with an easy smile.

“Yeah, but it’s always great to have back up and support. You have a really nice balance between soft but still firm and authoritative tone to your voice.” Zakira praised.

“Comes with years of practice and imitating my brothers and brothers in law and my dad.” Sulaimon chuckled softly.

“Oh, so not something you learned in the army?” Zakira gently teased.

“No. I learned many things in the army. And I’ve fought my battles. But I’ve also watched my nieces and nephews and it was practically mutiny, because it was just me against at least a dozen of them. I was outmatched and outnumbered and they knew it and took full advantage at first. Thankfully my brothers and brothers in law and my dad have helped me since as well as my sisters and sisters in law. How to be firm, but not harsh. How to be patient but not a pushover. How to be kind but not do them the disservice of spoiling them to the point that they think they’re the masters and thinking they’re in charge and you’re their servant to do their bidding. That doesn’t work. That the parent, or in my case, the adult- and uncle was. I can command a legion of a thousand soldiers, no problem, and lead them head first into battle, no sweat. A dozen kids all at once? It’s a juggling act, only you’re juggling swords that are all out of balance, and on fire and everything is made of paper. A disaster in the making. Just…chaos. No order, all anarchy and mutiny. Well, at first. The more I do it, the better I get at it. Now, it can get a bit hectic, but not as chaotic as it was at first. It was a lesson in humility, I’ll tell you that. I thought I was pretty hot stuff when I made Captain and had my own troop of a hundred soldiers. But that was nothing, those kids brought me to my knees and practically begging for mercy and trying to turn myself into a eunuch just so I wouldn’t have any myself.” Sulaimon readily confessed which got Zakira to laugh.

“Did you succeed? Did you actually go through with it and chop your own balls off?” Zakira asked in that same teasing tone which got Sulaimon to grin and grow just a bit bashful.

“No. Tempted. But no. But once I learned how to be the adult in charge and how to wield my authority over those kids without making all of them cry and sob for being too harsh or sharp in tone with them, it got better. And then once I showed them, I was in charge and proved I was in charge and that they could scream and cry all they wanted, I wasn’t going to budge and give them an inch because I knew they could take a mile, and got to talk it out and help them use their words instead of their mouths or claws to express themselves, then it got much better. I’m pretty sure half my battle scars are from them anyway.” Sulaimon revealed.

“Well at least for Anna’s sake, you’ve learned that much at least.” Zakira offered before Anna drained that breast and began to climb to the other.

“Ok, ok, hold your horses.” Zakira placated as she put one breast away and readjusted herself to put Anna to the other breast to nurse as Sulaimon tried to help her change her dupatta to keep her modest.

“Would you mind putting your arm up and around my shoulders?” Zakira asked before he readily lifted his arm simply had her lean into his side before he, oh so gently and slowly let his arm settle around her shoulders before she seemed to relax and use his arm as a head rest as she led her head rest over his well muscled arm as her eyelids got heavier and heavier.

“Do you need to lay down?” He asked.

“Nah, just…I get tired every time she nurses.” Zakira admitted.

“The night is young. Once everyone figures out cahoots, then it’s on to…psh…any number of games. It’s when I’m waiting for Bullshit.” Zakira smiled as her eyes closed serenely.

“Excuse me?” Sulaimon asked.

“Oh it’s where you tell two truths and a lie. And everyone else has to figure out which is the line of bullshit, or the lie. It’s really fun, because the more you go, you can’t use the same three things, and then you really have to get creative to use in the game. And some people are easy to read and you can very easily tell which one is the lie.” Zakira offered.

“But you should ace that game. Humans have very expressive faces. You should catch on pretty quick, cause everyone has their little things that either they do with their faces or tells in what they do or how they hold themselves. Others, you’d swear all of them are the truth and others you’re pretty sure all of them are the lie. It works best when there’s alcohol involved because then the truths and the lies get more outlandish. But then that’s when you really get to the really good stuff too.” Zakira smiled as she relaxed and breathed a breath of relief to finally get the overfull ache from her breasts from milk released.

“Well, then I’ll give you a secret to use against us rakshasi, kajit and tabaxi and catfolk in general.”

“Ears and tail thwaps?” Zakira guessed.

“Well, yeah, there’s subtleties to it. And yes, there’s expressions in both. Body language, posture and fidgeting tell on us just as much.” Sulaimon divulged.

“So that thwapping that guy is doing with his tail on the floor over there, that’s irritation and frustration?” Zakira guessed as she didn’t even bother opening her eyes, just turned her head and nodded to the sound before settling back in.

“Yup.” He admitted before Zakira cracked an eye open.

“Black tiger with white stripes, his tail is rattling like a rattle snake. What’s that?” She asked as she nodded over to him.

“Oh that’s excitement and happiness.” Sulaimon revealed.

“And the one with lazy flicking, boredom?” Zakira guessed.

“That or thinking, usually serious thought.” Sulaimon gently corrected.

“Ah, so what are you seriously thinking about then?” Zakira asked once she noticed Sulaimon’s tail do the same as it laid next to him and the tip slowly flicked back and forth.

“What I want to make you for lunch or dinner when we go to my parent’s house whenever I get the message to them.”

“Mmm. I see.” Zakira nodded as she closed her eyes again.

“What should I bring?” She asked.

“Nothing, you’d be the guest.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna cut it. I don’t eat at tables where I’m not allowed to add anything to. If your parents open up their home, I should be a gracious guest right? How do I do that?” Zakira asked.

“Show up.” He admitted.

“And?” Zakira prodded as Sulaimon took a deep breath in and slowly let it exhale as he had to think about it as the flicking of his tail got a little faster.

“Honestly, they’d be happy to meet you and have you and show their own hospitality. So, you really don’t need to bring anything but yourself and Anna.” Sulaimon repeated.

“Fine, spice mix it is, I’ll put strip peppers in it.” Zakira replied with a shrug and a smug grin.

“Oh no, Zara-Joy already had me try those. Way too spicy for the kids.” Sulaimon quickly shook his head no, while his eyes went wide with fear.

“There’s more than one kind. Some of them are as sweet as cherry tomatoes, others are the spiciest thing to put in your mouth and would tempt you to strip your clothes off and in your case, shave your fur off. I’d use the mild ones. They have just enough kick to tingle the lips but not burn. But they have really good flavor. Of course, I guess I could just give them some seeds to them too, if the kids eat the spice level that tonights meal was served at, they’ll like it just fine, if anything I think the kids would giggle to feel the tingle.” She mused.

“Ok, that would be quite good then. They would love that.” Sulaimon had to admit.

“Figured.” She grinned before Anna finished nursing and was halfway into Suliamon’s chest before Zakira could even get her breast back into her top, but Sulaimon was ready and able to get her with his one free arm.

“There, better now you got a full belly?” He asked as he let her sit on his arm and use her arms up on his chest before he noticed the milk still around her mouth began to drip down, and without thinking, he licked her mouth clean which got Anna to squeal and wiggle and bounce in delight while Sulaimon tried not to get milk drunk himself because while he was nursed as a baby, he hadn’t gotten any since weaning and Zakira’s was…way too delicious.

But the act got Zakira to laugh as she finished putting her breast and pulled the dupatta off from being wrapped around her chest and moved the pillow that Anna had laid on to keep her arms from having to hold Anna’s full weight while she drank.

“Good?” Zakira asked Sulaimon before his ears laid down bashfully.

“Yeah, it’s milk.” Sulaimon sheepishly offered with a shrug.

“Mmmhmm.” Zakira hummed as she giggled through her nose.

“Whose ready for Bullshit?” Zakira asked the group that was still in a circle in the living room.

“I am!” All of the visitors from Willow began before Zakira got in and sat down on the pillow she had been using for Anna as the group let them into the circle as Sulaimon sent a message home that he would be bringing his protectee, Zakira and her daughter over to the house for a meal.

“You go first Zakira.” They urged her.

“Ok, 1. Anna has never pooped and threw up on me at the same time. 2. My house has the pantheon of Marsaier’s gods carved and painted on the walls. 3. There were 177 dunes of sand visible from the north side of the road between Willow and The Crown City.”

“Three’s bullshit!” Almost all of them answered.

“Nope. One. Anna was only four months old when she puked and pooped on me in bed at the same time.” Zakira proudly proclaimed as everyone laughed while groaning at the same time at how disgusting that was.

“Why’d you count the dunes?” Sulaimon asked.

“Boredom.” Zakira shrugged.

“Your turn.” Zakira urged Sulaimon.

“Oh um. 1. I was the youngest captain and youngest commander to be appointed in King Amit’s Army. 2. I have been on over 100 blind dates since I was appointed as a Captain that never resulted in a second date, 3 is… I have 216 weapons, six sets of armor but only 4 sets of the army uniform.” He proposed.

“Number 2 is bullshit.” Most of them suggested.

“Nah, I’m calling 3 bullshit, there’s no way you only have four sets of the uniform. But I believe all the other numbers are correct.” Zakira said.

“That’s true. I only have three sets of the uniform.” Sulaimon admitted.

“How?!” All the other soldiers asked.

“Less to wash and dry myself. Otherwise my rank is a pin to pin into the shoulders of the regular uniform.” Sulaimon shrugged.

“How do you have 216 weapons?!” Most of the people of Willow asked.

“Yes.” Sulaimon confirmed.

“Why so many sets of armor?” The others asked.

“Well, there’s the regular training armor, the testing armor, the official deployment armor, which comes with a spare and then a formal fancy set for official ceremonies and then the last one is worn specifically for coronations.” Sulaimon listed off.

“Why only three sets of the uniform?” Zakira asked.

“One being worn, the second is dirty and in soapy water, soaking so the dirt and dust gets out of it before I can finish washing them when I’m done training for the day, the second is already up and drying in the sun, ready to be worn the next day.” Sulaimon smiled proudly.

“Simplicity and complexity, I like it.” Zakira smiled approvingly.

“Thanks.” He nodded before he got a message back from his parents.

“What’s that? New marching orders?” Zakira asked.

“No, I sent a message home about your interest in meeting my mother. They want to have you over for lunch or even dinner tomorrow.” Sulaimon offered.

“Oh, uh, which is better for them?” Zakira asked.

“Either or, your choice.” Sulaimon.

“Lunch is more informal.” Zakira decided.

“Lunch it is then.” Sulaimon nodded and wrote down her reply and gave it back to the messenger.

“I’ll need to go to the Spice District tomorrow morning then.” Zakira urged him.

“We will definitely do that then.” Sulaimon readily agreed.

After games, they all started to get sleepy and Sulaimon walked Zakira, the moment they tried to part, Anna began to cry like she was being tortured in between trying to nurse to go to bed.

So once she had nursed her fill but still cried incessantly, Zakira finally caved and called Sulaimon into the room.

“Sulaimon, Help.” Zakira said tiredly as she was sitting in bed, propped up by pillows and was near tears herself because of how exhausted she was from the rollercoaster of the ride the day was.

“I got her.” Sulaimon reassured her as he quickly slipped into the room, the only sign he had done so, being the white of his shorts and the way the light reflected off of the back of his iris’ as he fought not to practically get into bed with her and hold her too. So he picked Anna up from Zakira’s arms and pulled her into his own as her cries started to lesson considerably.

“Sweetheart, it’s time for bed. Come on now. Your Mommy’s had a very long and tiring day. We need to sleep.” He said before he cradled Anna into his own chest as Sulaimon paced the room, making sure to stay in the low lights coming into it from the windows so that Zakira could still watch him if she felt she needed to as he just kept purring, rocking and humming to Anna as Zakira gave him an appreciative smile and rearranged the pillows to simply lay back and tried to get some rest in the bed, even as attractive as the sight of a half naked Sulaimon was in the low moonlight.

Anna fought sleep and kept an iron grip on his fur on his chest and neck in her fists and refused to let go, even in light sleep. But Sulaimon was undeterred and kept with it, keeping his humming soft and kept his purring loud enough to settle Anna further into sleep as he walked around the room but mostly stayed to the foot of the bed. Once Anna finally slipped into deeper sleep and finally loosened her grip did he pull her hands off of his fur and kissed them sweetly nonetheless before kissing her temple as he changed his hold on her carefully so that she was laying down in his arms rather then on his chest but kept her close to make sure she wouldn’t wake up, she still turned and curled up to his chest, even in sleep and tried to grab at the shorter fur of his chest. But once she slipped back into a deep sleep again, her hold fading again, did he finally stop humming the lullaby’s his mother always sang and hummed to him and his siblings growing up.

“There. Get some sleep Zakira.” He breathed as he passed her back into Zakira��s hold in the bed.

“Thank you Sulaimon.” She thanked him as she grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it gratefully as she put Anna snuggly next to her in the bed and curled her whole body around her daughter.

Sulaimon smiled softly and fondly before he left the room and closed the new door as quietly and softly as he could.

Then he pulled a blanket and a pillow and pulled the chaise lounge that was at the bottom of his own bed and put it right on the other side of the door, not wanting to be any farther than he had to be from them as he kept an ear out for any noise inside the room.

Once he was asleep himself Wennet herself, taking the form of a lilac bunny, seemed to slip into the room by shadows. She considered him and was pleased by his efforts to be respectful to Zakira and mindful of her needed space yet protective enough to even guard her door at night and granted him very restful sleep, even as little of it that he would be getting. That even though he would only be sleeping for a handful of hours, that his sleep would be as restful and restorative to him as if he would be getting more than a dozen and granted him very pleasant dreams and hints at his future so he would remained patient, kind, and focused during the day. She also granted the same to Zakira, sensing how much Zakira needed the same while also blessing her with pleasant, enlightening and inspiring dreams as well so that her heart and mood would be lightened and she would be much more conducive to letting go of her pain, sorrow, anger and hurt and actually accept Sulaimon’s attention and affection and love and return it and come back to her former, happier self before she slipped out of the room and went around to the others who had come to The Crown City from Willow. It wasn’t too long before Anna had woken up as well and started to fuss which immediately woke up Sulaimon, his eyes snapping open and he immediately sat up and moved to get up and back into the room but then he heard Zakira’s gentle singing and humming and he couldn’t help but gasp softly at it’s ethereal beauty. Then he paid close attention to hear that she was humming and singing the same lullabies that Sulaimon had sung earlier. But coming from her, they sounded better than they ever could have. His heart melted as he swooned and laid back down, now that Anna had quieted down and let Zakira’s voice lull him back to sleep.

#Monster March #Monster March 2023 #Monster March 2023 Day 20- Humanoid Cat #Rakshasa #The Ruby Empire Fanfiction #With @momolady's permission of course

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aurasoulhikari · 1 year

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PMD Hero and Partner Week Day 3: Villains

Day 3 of Hero and Partner Week and the choices were friends, villains, and promise and I actually chose villains. Now I decided to use this day for the villains who were also victims of the circumstances that led them to become what they were from Gengar who felt jealousy and spite due to the curse he later broke to even Nuzleaf and the Beheeyem who didn't want to go to the Voidlands. So for this I chose Munna from Gates to the Infinity with my team Infinity team, Team Hope with Hero Sharpleaf the Snivy and partner Pikachu Mirai but for this it'll actually be focused on Munna and Mirai.

“Here’s your juice dear.”

“Thank you Kangaskhan.” Munna nodded her thanks to the owner who smiled and walked off. Munna used Psychic to lift her cup sipping the juice while looking at the return letter from Gigalith glad to know he was doing well. It had been a difficult choice in separating the group but they all agreed they needed to make up for the crimes they committed alongside Kyurem. Hence why they all agree to go their separate ways to spread help to other pokemon in their own way. She had come to Noe Town by chance after helping some traveling pokemon that wanted to reach it and decided to stay a while for rest.

“No way! Is that you Munna?!” The Dream Eater pokemon jumped by a sudden shout looking to see a female Raichu looking at her surprised much to her confusion.

“I'm sorry, do I know you?” She asked. The Raichu looked surprised before then having a sudden realization and smiled sheepishly.

“Ah right you wouldn't recognize me like this.” She admitted before smiling “It's me Mirai from Team Hope.”

Munna had to do a double take at this. Was this really the same too honest for her own good pipsqueak Pikachu? Evolution truly changed her but in a good way even Munna had to admit. Mirai looked more mature and stronger but she could still see that child-like cheerfulness that just radiates from her.

“Wow, it's been a while.” Munna replied.

“Yeah since the battle against the Bittercold.” Mirai agreed, taking a seat. “Everyone in Post Town and Paradise haven't seen you and your friends since.”

“We agreed about spreading out help to other pokemon who need it.” Munna stated. “It's the least we could do after what we’ve done.”

“That's great to hear you're moving forward with the hope you were able to find that day.” Mirai smiled.

“I suppose we are.” Munna shrugged. “I guess congratulations are in order for your Evolution.”

“Oh thanks!” Mirai smiled cheerfully. “We had gotten a Thunder Stone as a reward for a mission and the team talked me into using it. Best decision ever. I feel like I can do better for my team and for Paradise!”

“Speaking of, why are you here? This seems a bit far from Paradise.” Munna remarked.

“Oh! Well actually there was this mission that required a strong electric type and our team was recommended.” Mirai explained proudly. “Naturally we accepted and here we are!”

Munna truly admired Mirai, through all the hardships, she could still smile and enjoy helping other pokemon in need no matter what. The world needed more pokemon like her; this was something Munna understood. All the more reason…

“I'm sorry.” Munna spoke, surprising Mirai.

“Sorry? What for?” Mirai blinked surprised.

“For all the stuff me and my friends did to you guys, especially for kidnapping you.” Munna explained. “I never got the chance to say it so I wanted to do it now.”

Mirai looked surprised but then smiled. “Water under the bridge Munna. You guys had your reasons and though you made bad choices, you're making up for them now and that's what matters.” She smiled.

“.... You know you are way too honest for your own good.” Munna deadpanned.

“Heh yeah I get that a lot.” Mirai admitted sheepishly.

“Hey Mirai.” They both looked up seeing a Servine looking around. “It's time to get going.”

“Ah coming Sharpleaf!” Mirai called, before turning to Munna. “Mission time see you later Munna and swing by to Paradise!”

With that Munna watched Mirai quickly meet with Sharpleaf watching the partners talk before leaving the establishment and she couldn't help but give an amused smile and sipped her juice. Some things never change.

#heropartnerweek2023 #heropartnerweek #pmd gates to infinity #pmd munna #hero #servine #partner #raichu

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apaise · 5 months

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@fatescattered sent: “You saved me.” vivi @ nami

what started out as a fun little shopping trip quickly devolves into a chaotic meet and greet when the spice merchant recognizes vivi. she grabs vivi's hands, telling her how much terracotta had worried about her and igaram, and soon merchants and patrons alike begin to swarm the princess. with all eyes on vivi, it'd be the perfect opportunity to bag a few more spices for sanji gratis, but . . . nami holds back, knowing how vivi's kingdom needs all the support it can get to rebuild itself ( besides, she already impressed her hero discount upon the merchant earlier ).

nami watches as the butcher and grocer tell vivi how much she's grown, wondering if they were like old man toto, doting on the young princess in her rambunctious childhood. at first it's a sweet scene to witness . . . but as more and more people begin to join the crowd, nami starts to lose her line of sight of vivi, the pirate pushed further and further to the back. then suddenly, she's been squeezed outside the shop, alabasta sun harshly beating down on her as she struggles for a glimpse of vivi.

she manages to just catch vivi's expression through the weaving mob -- smiling brightly still, but brows scrunched with worry. nami tells herself the adoring denizens are too much for vivi -- ignoring that they are the ones currently standing in the way of vivi joining their crew. maybe if they loved her a little less, vivi's decision would already be made. she's swift to come to the rescue, clapping her hands to break through the murmurs of praise and affection.

❝ okay okay! 🎶 ❞ she calls out and the people turn in surprise; nami takes the opportunity to part the crowd as she walks back to vivi's side. ❝ sorry everyone, but the princess has places to be! but you'll catch her next time around, i'm sure, ❞ she winks to soften the blow before looping her arm around vivi's. there's some sighs of disappointment as they leave the shop and nami wishes she didn't care, but it's hard when their time in alabasta is coming to an end, and moments like these may become only memory, not habit.

vivi's playful words only serve to tug at painful nostalgia more, reminding nami of all those times she'd apologize and thank them and nami would have to pinch her cheek or tap her forehead to remind her they're a team. she was so strong then -- and even stronger now. as much as nami wants them to have a fun day out without worrying about vivi's decision, her thoughts inevitably keep circling back.

still, looking at vivi all flushed and pretty after the fanfare, the last thing nami wants to do is bring her mood down. away from the crowd's eyes, nami dares to pull her closer to her side, arm wrapping greedily as their shoulders touch. there's too many people to notice the way the pirate clings to the princess, hip bumping hers in jest.

❝ yeah? well, i'll accept my reward in the form of peach or pear juice ~ ❞ she sticks out her tongue in tease. never has she ever spoken such words -- payment in form of berries only, please -- but for vivi, nami will always make concessions. besides, the juice stand across the street pretty isolated; maybe they could at least avoid vivi's adoring public in the alley.

#( something something about the symbolism of nami getting pushed to the bg by the crowd lKJASDF )#( anyway i feel like there's plot holes in this cuz of how quickly they had to leave alabasta but IGNORE THATTT )#( still crying every day trying to get her voice down but DOING MY BEST FOR THE GIRLIES )#fatescattered #( c: nami )

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youcatchyman · 1 year

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22 Tips to Get Over an Ex-Girlfriend

You had a strong relationship, but now it’s over. Or you took a time out, which means that you are not together at the moment. Now is the time to let go and get over your ex-girlfriend. Just… How does it work?

Coping with a broken relationship is certainly not easy, especially when you still have strong feelings for your ex. However, you don’t have to worry that you will suffer lovesickness forever.

There is a way to get over your ex-girlfriend, get over your breakup, and move on with your life. No matter what goal you are striving for, whether you want to separate forever or give the relationship another chance, you should never sit still and do nothing after the breakup.

This article will help you get over the ex-girlfriend you broke up with. Read on to learn how to progress at this point!?

22 Effective Tips to Get Over an Ex-Girlfriend

You don’t have to face getting over the ex, the broken relationship, the letting go of the pain alone. The following tips will help you get over your ex-girlfriend. You can decide for yourself which tips will help you best personally.

1. Accept the loss

Although one tends to convince the ex that they belong together, it is better to refrain from such attempts. Your ex-girlfriend probably thought a lot about their decision and ultimately made their choice. If you can’t do anything about the cause of your breakup, there’s not much point in trying to mend the relationship.

You should rather try to accept that your relationship is over and take charge of your own life again. Of course, you need to get used to the fact that you are not a couple anymore. And this is certainly not easy at first, but you should not forget that your ex-girlfriend also has a difficult road to walk.

2. Cut off all contact with your ex-girlfriend

For your protection, you should temporarily cut off all contact. Going on through life as friends is a noble project, but it will only work once you both have worked through the breakup.

That’s why you should avoid your ex-girlfriend for at least a month. Contact via social media should also be avoided. This is also good if you want to try again in the future to get her back. Until then, you should give her a chance to feel what life is like without you.

3. Don’t glorify your ex-girlfriend

You don’t have to make your ex better than she is. She is guaranteed to have some not-so-great qualities as well. By recognizing the downsides of your ex-girlfriend, you’ll be able to more easily see the upsides of no longer being together. You shouldn’t just remember the good things about her. For example, you could make a list of all of your ex’s negative traits. Then you’ll find that you’re probably quite happy it’s over.

4. Pour your heart out

Make a date with your friends and talk your heart out about what you think of your ex-girlfriend. Get all your frustration off your chest. Putting your feelings into words will reduce your grief and anger. However, you should avoid drinking alcohol — otherwise, it can quickly happen that you send your ex-girlfriend a message in the middle of the night that you might regret later.

5. Beware of the ‘’White Bear Effect’’

Don’t try to put your ex-girlfriend out of your mind entirely, as that can quickly have the opposite effect. Psychologists call this the so-called ‘’White Bear Effect’’. The name derives from the test where someone is asked not to think about a white bear, and then, of course, the person immediately thinks about the bear.

The same goes for the ex: if you try not to think about your ex-girlfriend, she will play a central role in your thoughts for that very reason. That’s why you shouldn’t try to suppress your feelings. It’s better to talk about them with someone you trust or to write down your feelings and thoughts. Thinking about the ex-girlfriend every day and the breakup is part of the letting-go process.

6. Work on yourself

The goal is to emerge stronger from the breakup. Work on yourself so that you get new energy again. This can affect your appearance, perhaps by losing weight, getting a new hairstyle, or treating yourself to a new outfit. But you shouldn’t go overboard too much. You’re ok the way you are, but the whole thing can make you feel a little better.

But also you should work on your inner self. Reflect on the part you played at the end of your relationship and what you can learn from it. For example, you could try to be more patient, listen better, and be more understanding of other people’s opinions.

You can also work on yourself by taking a course to improve your career prospects or doing something you enjoy. You should look for improvements in your life that can make you happier! A positive side effect of this is that you will show your ex-girlfriend what you are missing out on.

7. Change your environment

If possible, change your furniture. Rearrange the furniture or buy new cushions for the sofa. Throw away the blanket you slept under that night and throw out that ugly painting that your ex-girlfriend thought was ‘so beautiful’. In this way, you build yourself a new, fresh environment that will make it easier for you to start your life again with renewed energy without your ex.

8. Find a valve

Find something to channel all your frustration about your ex-girlfriend and the broken relationship into positive energy. For example, you could sign up for a boxing class, go jogging, or do something creative; Draw a picture.

9. Challenge yourself by learning something new

Have you always wanted to learn to surf, play an instrument or maybe speak a new foreign language? Then do it! It’s just good to focus on something new that takes your mind off your ex-girlfriend. It can also give you a huge boost when you develop a new skill.

10. Spend time with friends and family

Of course, the ex was the person you always turned to when you needed someone. Now that she is no longer a part of your life, it’s good to focus more on relationships with friends and family. Try to reduce your dependency on your ex by strengthening your bonds with family and friends.

11. Remind yourself of the reason for your relationship break-up

Don’t cling to the thought of wanting to get back with your ex-girlfriend. There was a good reason your relationship failed, and that reason certainly didn’t just go away. That’s why you should be aware that getting back into a relationship with your ex-girlfriend is likely to end in as much pain as you’re going through. Is this really what you want?

12. Stop asking yourself how your ex-girlfriend is doing

If you find yourself constantly wondering how your ex-girlfriend is doing, you should stop right away. Instead, change the inner question to: “How am I doing now?” You should also tell the people who keep asking you about your ex-girlfriend. If you can’t remember the last time you wondered how she was doing, that’s a sign that you (almost) got over your ex- girlfriend-very good!

13. Do something your ex-girlfriend hates

Maybe your ex-girlfriend hated a certain restaurant, but you always liked it so much. Or was there a particular movie that she found stupid? Then you should check it out if you like it. Do something you could never do with your her, even though you always wanted to do it, then it will be easier for you to find yourself again.

14. Be good to yourself!

Don’t constantly criticize yourself for your part in your relationship breakdown. Stop thinking negatively about yourself!

Apparently, the two of you weren’t a good match after all, and that just can’t be changed.

There is guaranteed to be someone who is a much better match for you, so you should focus on what makes you a great person. Not only will you find yourself better this way, but you will also radiate a lot more positive energy — and be more attractive to a potential partner.

15. Avoid places you’ve been to together

Try to avoid places you’ve been (frequently) together, or else you won’t be able to shake the (good) memories of the two of you. You should rather go to new places where you can create new memories — with new people.

16. Temporarily cancel dates with mutual friends

If you have mutual friends, it’s best not to see them for a while either, or only meet them if you’re sure your ex-girlfriend won’t be there. You can relax this again at a later point in time, but preferably not during the first 3–6 months. This period will be needed to heal the wounds.

17. Don’t listen to melancholic music

If you want to make life more difficult for yourself, the best thing to do after a breakup is to constantly listen to sad (love) songs. Most sad love songs will keep reminding you that you will never be happy without your ex-girlfriend. But in reality, you can only be happy now that you’ve got over your ex-girlfriend! Think about it: How are you supposed to think positively of yourself when you’re constantly listening to negatively charged songs?

18. Try to make someone else laugh

At the moment, you are probably far too unhappy about your ex-girlfriend and also about your future. However, if you try to make someone else happy, you will end up being even more pleased than that person!

19. Talk about the matter with someone who has been through something similar

If you’re trying to get over your ex-girlfriend, it can be very helpful to talk to someone who has also successfully gotten over their ex. Of course, every broken relationship is different, but it can still be very helpful to hear the experiences of others.

20. Dates and sex help forgetting

What not to do when in a relationship: date or experience one-night stands. However, now you have full control over your life back. Enjoy it and go on a date with that woman you made eye contact with before!

Maybe you don’t feel like dating a new girl because your ex-girlfriend is still on your mind. But you should let that go! Just go on the date and enjoy. Of course, this does not have to result in a new relationship immediately. But you can make new friends and show your ex you can have a great time without her. It can even make you more attractive again.

21. Don’t expect things to sort themselves out anytime soon

If it wasn’t your decision to end the relationship, chances are you still have hope that the relationship can be repaired. This is often quite possible, but only over time.

Don’t be under the illusion that you’ll be back with your ex-girlfriend in just a few weeks.

Ending the relationship was probably a well-considered decision. That’s why you shouldn’t try too hastily to repair the relationship.

You should say goodbye to your ex-girlfriend in your head for the first few weeks. But if you’re secretly hoping for a quick reunion, you won’t be able to get over your grief. This will lead to disappointment again and again. You can certainly get her back, but you should still avoid her consistently for at least a month.

22. Have fun!

Of course, in the first few days or even weeks, you can indulge in your sorrows properly. After that, however, you should get back into action! Do something nice. Go out more often, read a good book, or travel. You should try to enjoy that you don’t have to be considerate of anyone and answer to nobody.

Do something you’ve wanted to do for a long time. It should always be about something that gives you pleasure. And if you don’t have the financial means to do this, look for affordable alternatives. Guaranteed there are. If this leaves you with money worries, it won’t help either.

Read also: Why Is My Girlfriend Ignoring Me? (The Ultimate Truth)

#relationshipadvice

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mytemporarycomfort · 2 years

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One last time

BOTW!Link x reader

A/N: I might consider doing this idea with some of the other champions.

Warning: Angst, Hanahaki disease, near death experience

Hanahaki Disease: is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated.

Link felt it pretty early on. His chest tightened and it hurt to breath. It wasn't unmanageable, but more of an inconvenience. He had a mission to defeat the calamity and it was more important his own life at this point. He tried so hard to focus on his mission, but his attention always went back to you.

You, the gentle loving person. He met you in a stable. He remembered what you sold. It was honeyed fruit and meat skewers, his favourites. Of course you would recognize him as the Hero so you offered him the food free of charge. He insisted on paying you for your hard work, but how can you accept it? He needed all the little bits of help he could get along the way through his journey. So when ever he needed a bit of respite, you were there. You were a new constant in this new life and a welcomed one too. He found your presence a calming one.

It all started when he woke up from a nightmare in the stable you worked at. You slept in the bed next to his and his thrashing woke you up too. He woke up to you putting a cool flannel on his head. In that moment, you looked like an angel, a goddess sent down from above. His chest tightened, he coughed, his throat tightened up, but somehow he managed to rasp out a quiet Thank you (y/n). And when you asked him if he needed anything, he asked you to stay if it was no trouble. And for him, of course you did. You two fell asleep on his bed and when you woke up he was gone.

It scared him that he was falling for you. He felt like a school boy all over again. He stayed away from that stable for a while. He needed to forget you. So he went out to journey again to get stronger for Hyrule. He might consider reaching out to you after he defeats Calamity, but right now he needed to forget you.

After weeks of journeying, he woke up to a stabbing pain in his throat. He coughed and jerked. When he uncovered his mouth, in his palms were petals of the Silent Princess.

He rode back to the stable as quick as he could, knowing he had little time left. When he arrived, your absence was clear. He questioned the stable master and asked if you were still here.

"Ah, (Y/N)? I believe she left a while ago. She mentioned going back to her home town to start a shop. I believe it was Hateno Village?"

The stable master didn't even finish before Link went on his way to find you. His coughing continued and left a trail of pale blue petals along the way. He needed to see you, even if it killed him.

Days passed before he arrived at the village. He walked up to the entrance. His breath was caught in his throat as he saw your back. You were at the entrance tending to a bed of flowers that were newly planted there.

"(Y/N)?"

When you turned around, you smiled.

"I'd recognize that voice anywhere Hero." but your smile didnt last long. You saw the petals. You saw the blood on the corner of his mouth and you knew. "Link, is that..?"

He nodded. He cautiously walked up to you. When he was within arms reach of you, he placed something in your hand. The first blue petal he coughed up. His eyes was filled with so much pain yet so much love. It was a silent plea for you to please accept him, love him back. And just like the night of the nightmare, you held him.

"Come with me." You said gently. You led him to your home. Inside was what he imagined. It was simple and cozy and everything he would've wanted if he had a proper home for himself. "How long has it been like this?"

He explained since the night you helped him though his nightmare, and why he was gone for so long. It all made sense. Since he hasn't returned to the stable you worked at for sometime, you feared the worst. You couldn't bring yourself to keep waiting for him there so you left in hopes of forgetting him.

"Why didn't you tell me Link? Why?" You asked as your eyes went glassy. He only looked down at his feet. He knew what was at stake. How could he drag you into this? It felt like a moment of weakness to be like this in front of you. His eyes shyly met yours, but what he didn't expect was for your hands to reach out for his. Link felt a shiver run up is spine. He looked back down at his feet, but then he noticed drops of water falling to the ground.

When he looked back up, he saw your eyes. Right there and then, he felt like he was hit with a breath of fresh air at last. You hugged him with all your strength. The feeling in his chest tightened even more. Then blue petals bursted out from his mouth. He felt as if all his energy was drained from his body, but it wasn't death-like. He didn't expect death to feel soft on his lips. He just need to see you one last time. Before all feeling left him, he heard it in the softest voice that has ever spoken to him.

"Please don't go, not yet. I love you."

#botw x reader #botw #loz #botw imagine #loz imagine #botw champions #loz botw #botw link #breath of the wild #legend of zelda #link x reader #botw link x reader #loz fanfic #loz x reader #angst #loz headcanons #loz botw x reader #loz breath of the wild #botw headcanons

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butwhyduh · 3 years

Text

Getting tall

Summary: Damian finally hits his growth spurts and the fam have opinions. Some damijon, timkon, jaytemis, and dickori mentioned.

Damian was an adorable tiny murder baby when he first showed up at the manor. Like a feral kitten. Short end of normal growth at 10 years old and thin too, Dr Leslie found. Make sure he eats 3 square meals and snacks when he wants and he’ll be just fine. Alfred had made it his mission, as he had done for both Jason and Tim, to put weight on Damian.

The first family member he outgrew was Cass. She reached over to ruffle his hair only to reach up above her head rather than below it. She didn’t mind. 5’4 isn’t very tall. She’d just have to remember that the next time they spar. Height wasn’t an important factor to her.

It was a few months later that Damian hit a massive growth spurt and grew 4 inches. He passed by 5’6 Stephanie.

“Hey little dude. What are they puttin in your food, miracle grow?” She asked when she noted how tall he was and how big his feet had gotten. Damian was a bit like the giant puppies all gangly. Alfred was adjusting the Robin costume monthly after Damian rushed to put it on for patrol one day and every time he raised his arms he felt his stomach show. Clothes were constantly being bought that met his newest height increase. The Kents were very appreciative of the barely worn clothing Jon got as Damian went through another pair.

“I’m perfectly normal in growth,” he said pulling on the hem of his shirt that was growing shorter by the day. Stephanie eyed him but left it. Tim hated the height jokes they would make when everyone started passing him in height. Nowadays Tim just rolled his eyes and deferred all short jokes to Bart who Damian was now taller than. Bart didn’t care at all because he was short but he was also at least top 3 faster people ever so who cares right?

For a very short time, Damian was taller than Jon. He liked that. Jon thought it was pretty funny.

“D, I’m going to be taller. My dad and mom are both taller than yours. I’ll be taller in the end,” Jon said with a grin before Damian pushed him off the roof. Jon giggled and stared at Damian with obvious heart eyes. The kid was definitely smitten.

Tim was half an inch taller. He didn’t acknowledge it in any way. But it wasn’t surprising. His mother was tiny, his father lower end of average, and Tim probably skipped too many meals with working during an important growth phase while he was becoming Robin. 5’8.5 is a perfectly normal height for a man. He had an easier time with stealth.

Bruce watched as his son grew more handsome and taller everyday. He recognized things he hadn’t taken the time to see with Dick or Jason and had missed completely with Tim. Aftershave, cologne, and deodorant budget went up exponentially and Damian was barred from bringing any of his shoes in the house and his Robin uniform had to double washed occasionally. He spent far longer in the bathroom doing his hair and agonizing over any spot on his face.

Bruce even once caught Damian do the lean on the doorframe while talking to someone they like when Jon visited once. He had to give the worst birds and bees talk of all time. Bruce also noted how Damian had Talia’s nose and his lip curled the same way hers did when he smiled. He stretched when walking to the breakfast table the same way Dick did.

Damian didn’t get another true growth spurt for 2 years. There was plenty of jokes that he jumped up to his height and didn’t move again. Jon was once again taller than Damian. Alfred was ready this time with the massive amount of food the 15 year old could put away and panels in his costume for easier adjustments.

Talia smiled proudly at her son as he grew taller than her. He was turning out handsome like his father but kept her feature and in her mind, that was the perfect combo. She never told Damian because she didn’t him to grow arrogant.

Dick didn’t notice it right away. He was so busy with Bludhaven and the Titans that he didn’t notice Damian had gotten a full inch taller than him. He only realized when him and Damian practiced a complex move that required a taller and shorter partner while training. They paired up as they always did and the maneuver completely fell apart. Dick was mentally putting together why it failed when Damian walked over and it clicked. Little D was not so little anymore.

“You’re taller than me,” he said brightly. Damian immediately grinned.

“So now you’re little D,” Damian said back. Dick laughed at that one.

“Don’t let it go to your head. I can throw you around like a tilt-a-whirl,” Dick warned. Of course, that’s exactly what happened the next time they sparred when Damian tried to use his height advantage.

“I can beat Jason so don’t think you can beat me just by being bigger,” Dick said standing over Damian who rolled his eyes.

Dick had no problem with Damian getting taller. It was his own height he had a complicated relationship with. See, Dick grew up as an acrobat. Being tall is a disadvantage. More weight to swing, more body to move. And his father had told him growing up that almost every Grayson man has been 5’8. It’s a legacy as strong as flying above the circus crowd.

And so when at 15, Dick was very distraught with the fact that he hadn’t stopped growing at 5’8. It felt like a part of his history and family legacy had died. He wasn’t one of the 5’8 Grayson men. He never told anyone beside Kori, late at night where she told him she loved him tall or small. She had already far outpaced Dick and was on her way to being 6’4.

Duke and Alfred and Damian were the same height for a short while. Duke would joke that he could just wear the Robin’s costume since they were the same size. Damian would threaten to disembowel him if he touched it and that made Duke laugh even more.

When he grew taller Duke once again joked with Damian calling him a not so jolly green giant and Alfred considered his nutrition attempt a complete success. Damian went from a tiny kid to a tall strong young man.

Damian and Jon were practically the same size for a while. Jon barely bent his neck to rest his chin on Damian’s shoulder as his partner worked on a complex mechanical part. Then Jon hit another growth spurt to end in his final height of 6’2, same as Bruce and his father. Damian enjoyed having a taller boyfriend for a while but would never say anything. High school dances were nice.

Bruce could see Damian getting taller and stronger and was practically grown. Dr Leslie warned Bruce that growth could continue until Damian was in his early 20s and he could end up a quite tall young man or stop tomorrow.

Jason liked being the tallest and biggest in the family. He had an entire inch in height on Bruce and was at least 20 lbs heavier. He was built like tank. When Jason had died at 15, he was terrifyingly thin. Alfred had tried his best but Jason had suffered malnutrition and hunger from practically birth. He was short and thin and Dr Leslie had told Bruce he probably always would be. And so when Jason came back to life a giant 6’3 and over 200 lbs, it was a shock. It took him forever to accept his size as anything more than an amour to create fear in his enemies. The first time he had accidentally scared a woman walking in the street at night, Jason had hated that he was so big. But within his family, it had become a source of pride. He was certainly taller than Dick and Alfred and even Bruce.

So when he visited Cass’s birthday party and Jason stood next to Damian and realized that the kid was taller than him, he was a little shocked. Damian had reached his final height of 6’4.

“When the hell did you get so big?” Jason asked while cake was being served. Dick nosed in the conversation.

“Little D is taller than you now,” he said with a teasing grin at Jason.

“And yet you insist on calling me Little D,” Damian said with an eye roll.

“I call him Big D,” Jon said with a smile. Dick blanched and Jason coughed out an awkward laugh.

“Good for you, bro,” he said patting Damian on the back. Jon blushed at the sudden understanding.

“No! I mean- he’s taller than me. I didn’t mean- uh,” Jon stuttered. Damian grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him away from his brothers who were laughing.

“It’s weird you know,” Jason admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

“The fact that he is dating Jon?”

“No, they’ve been together forever. That he’s taller than me,” Jason said.

“Are you- does it bother you that you aren’t the tallest?” Dick asked with a gleeful smile.

“No,” Jason said abruptly.

“It could be like how I learned my little brother was bigger than me,” Dick teased. “All of a sudden you were just massive. My tiny little brother was this big dude. Good thing I’m comfortable with my masculinity.”

“Your girlfriend is like 6 inches taller than you. If that isn’t emasculating then there’s nothing I could do,” Jason answered.

“Yeah, she’s always been taller than me,” Dick said with a fond smile. “You can’t talk with the Amazon you’ve been hanging with.” He pushed Jason’s shoulder with a grin.

“We’re just friends-I guess,” Jason said uncomfortable. “That’s not the same-“

“Well at least Tim will always be our little brother,” Dick changed the subject but mentally noted Jason’s reaction to the mention of Artemis.

“Yeah, he’ll always be a shrimp,” Jason agreed.

“Honestly fuck you both,” Tim said from across the room. With Kon standing next to him he certainly looked tiny.

“Hey, it’s my birthday and I am the shortest and I can still kick all of your butts,” Cassandra reminded them both and they laughed but neither corrected her because they knew she was right.

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sunfish-studies · 3 years

Text

Let The Games Begin!

✄・・・ Feathery Ink [Karasuno Manager Series]

➜ Pairing: Karasuno x Manager! Reader

➜ Warning: none

➜ Notes: This is a separate series from Crisp Leaves. Similar to Crisp Leaves, manager in this story will be portrayed as a girl. She will be tall. This is just my appreciation towards tall girls, you guys are amazing.

Previous: ‹ Celebration › | Next: ‹ A Simple and Pure Strength ›

↷ SUMMARY ↶

Preliminaries for Interhigh in Miyagi commenced today and Karasuno vowed to blast through and win them all.

“I’m sorry that you have to cheer from above, Hitoka-chan, [Name]-chan,” Shimizu apologized in advance because while she could watch the game on the bench, the two of you could only watch them quite far away. It couldn’t be helped, only one manager was allowed to be on the bench during the game.

“It’s alright, Kiyoko-senpai,” you replied with determination. “In fact, leave the cheering to us! Right, Hitoka-chan?”

“That’s right!” Yachi nodded in agreement.

“Then, we’re counting on you two.” Shimizu smiled at both of your eagerness. While Shimizu called you by your given name, you decided to ask her if it’s okay to call her also by her given name–she instantly agreed, seemed extremely happy even. Since then, you started calling her by her given name still with a suffix.

“H-Hinata, are you okay?” Yachi asked in worry because the said orange-haired boy was holding his stomach and trembling.

“Do you still feel sick?” you also questioned, immediately kneeling and rummaging through your back for medicine. Which made you aware of another trembling figure sitting on the ground. “Y-Yamaguchi-kun, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Hinata replied. “I threw up on the way here, so I feel better.”

“Of course you’d feel sick after eating all those katsudon for breakfast.” Tsukishima snickered.

“It’s normal to eat katsudon on game days!” Hinata defended himself.

“And by ‘normal’, you mean…” Tsukishima deadpanned.

“You dumbass! Hinata, you stupid dumbass!” as if adding more salt to the wound, Kageyama was there to yell at him–making you almost burst out laughing from the limited insult he had in his vocabulary.

“I-I feel like I’m going to puke too, after remembering Hinata puking…” Yamaguchi pressed a hand upon his mouth, speaking in a very low voice which you almost missed. Both you and Tsukishima immediately snapped your head to face him.

“Huh?” Tsukishima replied in disbelief. “Go to bathroom, already!”

“H-Here’s a plastic bag you could use!” you yelped thrusting the item into his palm. “There’s also a medicine if you want! Don’t hold it, Yamaguchi-kun!”

“I thought you were busy concentrating but you were actually trying not to puke!?” you could hear Sugawara exclaimed and now you could confirm that Azumane was somehow in a similar state as Yamaguchi.

“Do you need medicine, senpai?” you’re instantly kneeling on his side with yet another plastic bag (just for caution), a bottle of warm water, and a small package of medicine. “I also have warm water you could drink!”

“T-thanks, [Name]-chan,” Azumane whispered. “You’re a life-saver.”

Even before the game, your team was in shambles.

Your first game would be against Ohgi Minami High School–you made sure to keep in track of the games and read the whole pamphlet to know about the teams who could be your opponents in the future. The warm-ups were smooth until it was time for the game–the first official game of Karasuno.

“The spring tournament… Karasuno’s battle is about to start…!” You could hear Yachi muttered from right beside you–upon the wall, hung the pure black banner for the team. Just like her, the nerves were getting into you the moment all of them assembled to hear a little bit of advice from Coach Ukai and encouraging speech from Takeda-sensei.

“Oh, so you watch the game too, Ukai-sensei?” the older man beside you questioned, both of you looked to the side and you instantly recognized older man who helped Hinata nailing his control.

“Yeah.”

“Good morning,” you greeted, bowing down which Yachi hastily copied.

“Oh, so you’re the manager,” Coach Ukai also recognized you and didn’t think twice to reply. Although he looked extremely strict (and he does on the court that is), but he’s not an entirely stiff person. And from his history, you put an absolute respect for him.

“Ukai? Grandson?” Yachi tilted her head in confusion.

“He’s the former Coach Ukai,” you explained. “He’s the famous coach who brought Karasuno to nationals and also the current Coach Ukai’s grandfather. The Little Giant was in his team.”

“Hee!?” Yachi yelped.

“[Name]-nee-chan!”

“Yuu-chan! You’re here to watch, too?” Ogasawara Yuu was the little kid who’s watching Hinata and Kageyama practice the day before and before you knew it, the two of you became friends. He didn’t hesitate to ask you questions and you found yourself enjoyed in indulging his curiosity.

“Yeah! Nee-chan, you’re from Karasuno, too, right? What are you doing up here?”

“T-There’s only one manager allowed on the bench. You didn’t know that?” Yachi argued.

“That’s why I’m here too,” you added, pointing to yourself.

“Ooh.”

The game itself was a sight to see–everyone’s moves were full with confidence, they had a full control of their decisions and movements. For example, your captain was waiting for the opponent to do the feint and managed to received it cleanly.

“S-so fast! It’s like he was waiting for it!” Yachi commented.

“It’s because they have been practicing with powerhouse schools with different kinds of power in serves and spikes. The diversity of their opponents from the training and their defenses and high level of it, the team is already used to it.” You pointed out, which made your friend gasped in awe.

As the game continued, you were immersed with the thrill of it. Kageyama successfully pulled off another service ace. Yachi was bouncing giddily from it.

“Nice serve, Kageyama-kun!” you called out. He turned to glance at you and gave you a fist.

“Another service ace!” Yachi cheered.

“Now we’re on set point,” You added, looking at the score board.

The match was going on smoothly for Karasuno, sure there was a little bump but that’s because you felt Ohgi Minami didn’t really give it their all after knowing they would lose–sometimes, people who witnessed someone who’s more skilled than them felt a tug of helplessness. However, not doing your best isn’t acceptable.

Thankfully, they seemed to change and blasted through after their former captain pulled up a speech. Even though they still loss, you knew it would make them even stronger. The frustration would linger and push them into working hard to win.

That’s that and now, you didn’t even have a chance to bask in your victory because another threat was looming.

You peeked over Kageyama’s shoulder, your own shoulder trembled slightly–you didn’t even need to look to know how Hinata and Yachi were both terrified out of their wits from the sight. While waiting for the results, your team watched the on-going match and at the same time witnessing something downright terrifying.

Kakugawa’s #9 basically pushed the ball over the block with ease and it almost send you into an early cardiac arrest. Hinata and Yachi squeaked in fright.

“That’s creepy!” Tanaka commented, words muffled from how he munched on a banana.

“It’s a weapon…” Azumane muttered in disbelief. “His height is a weapon…”

“I think I’m the one who needs the medicine now,” you whispered, feeling your heart threatened to jump out from your throat.

“It’s just height,” Kageyama said, peeling on a banana.

“It’s almost astronomical on how you’re still calm after watching that,” you sighed.

“I guess we know who we’re playing next,” He then continued, chewing on his food. After the match was over, the team had slight break and decided to study the charts. Your next opponent would be Kakugawa High School, who has an absurdly tall member who messes with your depth of perception.

Yachi squeaked in fright when the said tall member walked pass by–clearly towering over everyone with his two meters height.

“T-two meters is super huge,” Hinata stuttered, shoulders trembling.

“201 centimeters and 162 centimeters, huh…” Yamaguchi muttered, looking at the orange-haired boy.

“I’m 163 if you round it up-!” Hinata argued.

“201 centimeters and 162 centimeters, there’s a 40 centimeters difference.” Tsukishima cut him off.

“Listen!”

“F-forty centimeters is the same size as Ketty-chan,” Yachi tried to cheer him up. “It’s not that big.”

“Is that an attempt to cheer him up?” Tsukishima commented.

“It sure is.” You confirmed, smiling nervously.

“Tekachu is also 40 centimeters,” Yamaguchi added.

“So is a Fujikujira,” Tsukishima followed, which made all of you confused.

“F-Fujikujira?” you questioned. “What’s that?”

“It’s a kind of shark.”

“You’re smart, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi praised.

Hinata sluggishly walked–face pale and filled with resignation. “I…want to combine with that shark… If I combined with a Fujikujira, I’d be two meters tall…”

“Hey, what are you talking about?” Kageyama was thoroughly confused with his antics. He rose an eyebrow. “Are you really scared?”

It made Yachi worried but Shimizu was quick to reassure her that it would be fine, half of it was directed to you too. You tried your best not to worry–he sure has height, but Karasuno had strategies. Everything should be alright.

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narutogwriting · 3 years

Text

Ruin the Friendship

⋇✦ Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

⋇✦ Genre: angst; fluff; oneshot

⋇✦ CW: none

⋇✦ Length: 2.5k+

⋇✦ @gaarasandpit just a angst/fluff naruto x reader request if you’re up for it 🥰 maybe where the reader and him are somewhat close friends and he notices she’s drifting from him because her feelings get in the way? he’s oblivious and hurt about it then confrontation happens ending up in a good old love confession

“Cmon! Open up!” Naruto called from outside your house, pounding on the door like he had been incessantly for the past five minutes. “I know you’re in there!”

He did not, in fact, know whether or not you were in there, but he couldn’t imagine where else you would be.

All week you’d been missing; Naruto couldn’t find you anywhere. Sometimes he would see the flick of your hair from the corner of his eye or his ears would pick up the sound of your laugh, but by the time he turned to find you, you’d be gone.

Your absence in Naruto’s life wasn’t something of a minor inconvenience; it was a constant pain, as if he was missing a part of his own body. Iruka had joked that Naruto missing you was akin to that of a phantom limb, like there was something of him that should be there and it wasn’t and he ached because of it.

“No, Naruto. We haven’t seen her,” Shikamaru shrugged. Ino nodded her agreement.

“Sorry. Maybe she’s on a mission or something.

Naruto frowned, sighing in frustration. “Alright, well, thanks.” He muttered before he sulked off. Shikamaru and Ino watched him go, waiting until he disappeared before Ino gave you a kick under the table.

“Ow!” you whined as you crawled out from underneath, rubbing your shoulder.

Ino rolled her eyes at you. “You’re lucky Naruto’s an idiot, or he definitely would have seen you.” She told you as you slid yourself down into the seat next to her. “Remind me: why are you avoiding him again?”

Propping your elbows on the table, you rested your head in your hands as you gave a forlorn sigh. That was a loaded question. You were avoiding Naruto because the absolute worse thing that could ever occur had happened.

You’d fallen in love with the idiot blond.

And how could you not? You’d been best friends with Naruto for the longest time. He was a constant in your life, always at your side. It was rare that one of you was seen without the other.

There was no one in the entire world that could make you smile or laugh the way that he could. Whenever you were sad or hurt, he always had the words to make it all better. Naruto had the type of smile that could save people, and you were no exception. There wasn’t a person in the world that could meet someone with a heart like Naruto’s and not walk away changed.

It had been a slow thing, a soft, unsure growing. It wasn’t a feeling you’d recognized at all once, because you always loved Naruto.

It wasn’t totally strange for you to get excited when you saw him or miss him when he was gone. It wasn’t unusual to think about him before you went to sleep.

But when you began to wake up and your first thought was, “my god he’s beautiful” when you looked at the picture of the two of you on your night stand, that was a little strange. You never used to spend extra time in the morning doing your makeup when you knew you were going to see him soon.

And you never used to blush when he smiled at you. Even you could tell you laughed a little too hard when he said something even remotely funny.

It was one day when the two of you were taking a walk that it happened. He was telling you a story, his motions large and exaggerated. Of course, he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. As he turned to you, arms raised high over his head, his foot hit a rock. Naruto went sprawling to the floor, rolling across the ground and landing flat on his back.

You burst out laughing at the scene, hurrying to kneel at his side. “Are you okay!?” You asked him between giggles.

Naruto’s face was bright red with embarrassment as he laid on the floor. He looked up at you, smiling sheepishly. “Oops…”

It was such a simple thing, but you’d looked at Naruto and thought, “I love him so much.”

Nothing had ever startled you more.

Of course you loved Naruto; that was a given. It was never anything that needed to be thought or said. It was just a fact. But as soon as you had thought the words, you knew that it was different this time. You didn’t just love Naruto.

You were in love with him.

You’d hoped that the feelings would fade. Maybe it was just a fluke or a passing crush. Day in and day out, you waited for your feelings to go back to normal, but now that you’d acknowledged them, they only seemed to grow stronger. It got to the point where you couldn’t even look at naruto without turning into a blushing mess. It was pathetic.

So you’d decided there was only one reasonable solution: you would have to avoid him for as long as it took for the feelings to go away.

And of course you didn’t want to stay away from him. Being with him was as natural as breathing. But the way you saw it, if he found out about your feelings, your friendship could be ruined forever. This way, you could take some space, move on, and resume your friendship like nothing happened.

But Naruto wasn’t making that easy.

You hadn’t realized just how much time you and Naruto spent together until you were trying to distance yourself from him. He was everywhere. Every meal, every free moment, he was by your side or trying to be at least.

“Wanna go eat?” “Wanna go train with me?” “Let’s watch a movie!” “I heard there’s gonna be a festival in the next town over!”

You couldn’t get away from him. So this past week, you’d taken to hiding from him every time you saw him, deciding it was easiest to just avoid him completely. In all honesty, you couldn’t believe just how much time and effort Naruto was putting in to trying to find you.

But of course he was putting in effort. Because you were his best friend and he couldn’t understand it; where you’d gone or why you weren’t talking to him. Had he done something wrong? Were you mad at him or something? Your absence in Naruto’s life was drawing out every insecurity he hadn’t even realized he still had. He was worried, drowning in anxiety.

What if you’d decided you didn’t want to be his friend anymore? Maybe you were annoyed with him, found him to be too much. When you and Naruto had first become friends, he thought it was too good to be true. There was no way that someone as nice and pretty and cool as you would want to be friends with him. No one had ever wanted to be his friend before.

But there you were with your sweet smile and calming presence. You had accepted Naruto, every piece of him, without question or reservation. You meant everything to him, so the thought of losing you had sent Naruto into a panic.

You’d managed to avoid Naruto for a full week and a half. The past three days, as far as you knew, he hadn’t even made an effort to find you. It was a relief and heartbreaking all at once. You needed your space, but it hurt to think that maybe Naruto didn’t miss you at all anymore.

These were the thoughts racing through your head when you crawled into bed that night. You doubted you’d be getting much sleep; you’d barely gotten any since you had started avoiding Naruto.

Pulling the covers over yourself, you closed your eyes and tried to get comfortable. It seemed like hours you laid there awake before tiredness finally started to drift over you. You could feel yourself slowly dozing off to sleep when a sudden loud noise startled you awake. Sitting up quickly, your eyes darted to the window where the noise had come from.

Naruto had forcefully pried open the window, shoving himself not-so-gracefully through the opening and crashing onto the floor.

He quickly jumped to his feet, rubbing his head with a small wince before his eyes landed on you, widening slightly.

“Ah ha! I got you!” He shouted victoriously, pointing his finger in your direction. “You can’t hide from me anymore, believe it!”

God, he was too cute for words and that was exactly the problem. Your heart practically burst just looking at him as he appeared so accomplished and excited.

But the triumphant look on his face slowly vanished as he stared at you. When he spoke, his voice came out quietly, dripping with dejection. “Where have you been?”

Quietness settled over the room as the two of you stared at each other. Naruto made no move to get closer to you, and you likewise stayed strapped in your seat. “I’m sorry…” You offered weakly, unsure of what else to say.

“Don’t be sorry!” Naruto snapped, anger quickly replacing his despaired features. “Tell me why! What the hell? You think you can just avoid a guy? Cut me off like I’m nothing to you!?” He was trembling, his usual happy grin twisted into a broken grimace so despondent it took you off guard. You had caused that hurt that Naruto was feeling. The thought made you sick.

“If you don’t want to be my friend anymore, at least say something!” Naruto spat. “Don’t just run from me like a coward! If you have something to say, say it to my face!”

There was a harsh edge to Naruto’s voice that he never used with you before. Not in all of your years of friendship. You realized suddenly just how badly you’d hurt Naruto by avoiding him. It wasn’t something you’d considered; you’d only wanted some space so you could get back to normal with him.

But you saw it clearly now, the damage that you had done. Suddenly, in this moment, he was the lonely, isolated child that he had been before you met, feeling alone and abandoned in the world. And this time, it was because of you.

The regret was like bile on your tongue, and you wished fiercely that you could take back the past week and do it differently. You couldn’t stand the thought that it was you who had caused this damage to your best friend, the guy you loved so much.

You didn’t have any words to fix it. All you had was the truth.

“I love you.”

The words slipped from your mouth before you could pull them back in. And once they were out, they couldn’t be taken back.

Confusion quickly settled on Naruto’s face. It was as if you could see the anger dissipate from his body. He stared at you, mouth slightly agape, while he tried to process what you’d just said. “You… What?”

Turning bright red, you pulled the blanket back over your head in embarrassment. You couldn’t believe you’d just said that! Now there would never be any going back to the way that things were, but you had to tell him. You couldn’t just let him think that you were cutting him off without reason.

“I said I love you…” You muttered from under the blanket. “I’m in love with you, Naruto. I have been for a while now, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. So I thought if I just took some space and didn’t see you for a while, then maybe I would get over it, and then we could just keep things the way they were…”

It was much easier to get the words out when you were under the blanket and couldn’t see him, but you were still nauseous with anxiety as you told him how you felt. Your heart was steeling itself for rejection as you waited for his response.

The only noise was shuffling as Naruto came to your bed. You could feel the indent as he sat down next to you. He grabbed your blanket, slowly peeling it off of you and despite your reluctance, you let him.

You didn’t look at him as you pushed yourself back up into a sitting position. You’d never been so embarrassed before.

“Did it work?” He asked you quietly.

Fidgeting with the hem of your night shirt, you mumbled, “Did what work?”

“Are you over me?”

The question took you off guard, lingering between the two of you, and you couldn’t help but flicker your eyes to his. He was staring earnestly at you with those wide blue eyes you loved so much. You wanted to lie to him but you just couldn’t.

“No.”

Naruto’s focused expression stretched into a wide grin as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you to him. You were too startled to respond, so you just stared at him, confused, instead.

“You scared me!” Naruto laughed happily as he rested his cheek against your head. “I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore! You didn’t have to completely avoid me, ya know.”

There was a mix of relief and disappointment at his reaction. So, he wasn’t weirded out about your confession? Things didn’t have to change. The two of you could stay ‘just friends.’

“So, we’re okay?” You asked him nervously. “We’re still friends?”

Naruto gave a puzzled hum as he pulled away from the hug to stare at you. He raised his eyebrow as he studied you for a moment. You could almost see the light bulb go off above his head as he realized.

“Oh!” He laughed, grinning sheepishly and rubbing his neck. “I guess I forgot to tell you it back, huh? I thought it was obvious! I love you too, believe it!”

You blinked as he giggled embarrassedly, that signature smile of his on his lips. “Naruto!” You snapped at him, lunging and knocking you both off the bed. He landed on his back with you on top of him as you rubbed your fist into his head. “You dummy!”

“Hey! Cut it out!” Naruto whined, squirming under your touch. “Is that any way to treat your boyfriend!?”

The question was enough to make you stop, your mouth frozen in a surprised “o” shape, just like he hoped. He laughed, sitting up and holding you to him before he placed a happy kiss to your cheek, making your face flush over red.

You placed your hands on his shoulders, looking at him as it finally sunk in what he said. He loved you too. He called himself your boyfriend. “Is that your way of asking me?” You questioned.

Naruto nodded earnestly. “And my way to get you to stop giving me a noogie! It’s a win win! Well, if you say yes, that is…”

Shaking your head, you laughed as your whole body softened in relief. Your arms slipped around his neck as you hugged him tightly. “Yes, obviously!” You told him. “Yes! I love you.” Naruto hugged you back just as fiercely. When he finally pulled away, he didn’t hesitate. His hand reached up to cup your cheek as he leaned forward, pressing a sweet, soft kiss to your lips.

Well, you guessed your friendship was officially ruined. But suddenly, you didn’t mind so much.

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