#SHAVING IS STUPID I REFUSE TO DO IT

[kiribaku]

armpit hair induced dysphoria.... long rant abt​body hair and gender below

see, I refuse to shave my body bc it's demented that bc I was born with this set of sex characteristics I have to shave my body hair. absolutely moronic. so I refuse to do that, as a person who doesn't identify as a woman and as someone who's a feminist and thinks it's unfair to expect that of ppl. however I am aware of the rising number of men who shave for aesthetic reasons but it angers me that something as natural as body hair is seen as ugly and must be removed, it's so infuriating that our bodies are so commodified, esp women, and now men are actually performing that same way which. is awful imo nobody shld.

anyway back to my point, basically bc I have armpit hair, I feel serious discomfort around it being seen, so I never wear tank tops when I go out. and I have no idea why bc I wear JORTS all the time and my leg hair is out n about?? so why are armpits a problem. I'm thinking some "exposure therapy" (just going outside unshaved w a tanktop will help), but also, it's dysphoria too. not the usual one but more so dysphoria caused by imbalanced gender expression. like. ig subconsciously I see the hair as my masculine side, and the tight tank tops are too feminine, and so it clashes and makes me uncomfortable. AND AHGGHG THATS SO LAME AND IT PISSES ME OFF. I also prefer hiding my leg hair with black tights if I'm gonna wear a skirt or something fem bc again, the clashing, but I've mostly worn baggy shorts and the leg hair goes with it. ahhhhh I'm just so upset and uncomfortable abt it. I wish society didn't care and i wish men who stare and laugh and mock girls on the street dropped dead. like I feel unsafe in this town and country and this world. seeing a group of boys who r probably just friends going out terrifies me bc I know they're bad people. like I know from their style and way of moving it's just so obvious they're evil sleaze bags. and walking past them in feminine clothes but with hair??? death sentence idk. I'm just very unhappy with my gender, my expression of it, my wardrobe, my body, and everything.

[blockedbykei]

𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐏 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

🏐 — tsukishima kei x f!reader

— synopsis: tsukishima has always struggled wrapping the stupid bandages on his fingers. the new manager seemed to know how, but his pride was too stuck up for him to ask help. luckily, you knew him too well.

— warnings: swearing, blood

🏐 —

The ball slams onto the squeaky floor, the synthetic leader creasing as it meets the shined court. Tsukishima smirks at his opponents’ quick glance at the rolling ball.

“Was that your best, King?”

“Shut up,” Kageyama sneers. Hinata forbearingly chases after the ball. The blonde smirks, adjusting his glasses.

His legs ache, though he didn't have the care to complain nor request to take a break. Testing his endurance was good—he still had limits to test, he still had so much energy to drain. He wasn't going to waste his time tending for the ache.

Something that he wouldn't mind wasting his time on though, was fixing the bandages around his ring and index finger. They were loosening up, untucked from one another. So he looked at Daichi, motioned to his fingers, and his senior's approving nod permits his body to exit the court and onto the bleachers.

"When was the last time you changed those, bruh?" Tanaka blurts. He rubs his hand on his shaved head, his sweat dripping off his temples. "That shit's dirty."

"Just this morning. I'm not unhygienic." Tsukishima bluntly replies. "It got dirty from the ball. Have you seen that thing? When was the last time you changed those balls?"

Sugawara sits beside him, his towel being patted on his forehead. "Two years ago, probably."

Tsukishima fiddles with the thin straps of his bandages, tucking it underneath the wrapped gauze, but it irritates him when it refuses to stick. So he tries and he tries again; from the court to the bleachers, he thinks. A person could only do so much trying.

"Hey, (l/n)!"

His head snaps towards your direction, seeing you enter with a bag full of refilled water bottles. He'd politely take the bag off your shoulders, showing chivalry to remove the image of his isouciant demeanor. But Daichi had already beaten him, as well as carrying the other two bags brought by Yachi and Shimizu.

His fingers absentmindedly twirl and twirl as he stares from afar. His heart pounds uncremeniously against hist chest, like the sound of continuous free spiking against the court floor. He dislikes the feeling of sudden emotions.

But when you were the end of those emotions, he'd bear his hatred.

And Tsukishima had been staring for too long that he hasn't noticed you approaching him with that kind, everloving smile. He doesn't return it.

"Kei," you softly greet. His first name, never given verbal privilege to say but somehow it just felt right for you to say it. "Struggling with that?"

"Hm? O-oh. Yes," his back straightens, forearm on his knee. You sit down beside him but not beside him. He feels like whining. "Can't get the stupid thing wrapped properly."

"I can help—" you offer.

"I got it," Tsukishima tucks his arm against his chest like it was something you'd steal from him. You laugh through your nose. "Not my first time doing it."

"Just let me help," you wrap your hand on his wrist and yank it towards you, the bandage seamlessly falling off his calloused palm onto your lap. Tsukishima feels heat rising to his ears— feels the obnoxious stares of his teammates smiling teasingly as they bounce the balls from their hands to the floor.

And so your soft fingers caress against his, your thumb in the apex of his palm as you hold his hand firmly. Tsukishima puts the weight of his hand on yours, watching your eyes meticulously follow the movement of your fingers wrapping the dirty bandage around his ring and pinkie finger.

"Your scar looks cool," you say. "Where'd you get that?"

"From, uh, Ushijima's spike during our match against Shiratorizawa." His voice falters with embarrassment. "He was strong. An idiot though," he adds the last remark to aid his ego.

"Wow, Kei complimenting Ushijima."

"Followed by an insult," he looks up at you through his eyelashes and feels like he could collapse on the spot. Suddenly the ache on his legs didn't bother him anymore, like they'd been healed by your essence.

You tuck the bandage in. "He may be strong, but he can't block like you," you take his hand in yours and lightly tap it with the other one before standing up. You pick up a waterbottle from your bag and offer it to him. "Drink up. Can't have you dehydrated."

Tsukishima takes the bottle from you. You smile at him, and the edges of his lips quirk up to give you a half-smile, like some sort of gratitude. And you walk away from him.

He could've done a lot more than just speak like he wasn't thankful for your assistance. Instead he watched you walk away, wistfully.

🏐 —

Stupid fucking fingers.

There's blood dripping on the asphalt ground. Tsukishima hisses, Hinata gasps and covers his mouth.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He had bowed so much his back could break. Tsukishima didn't care, he only wanted to shove his entire fist up Kageyama's laughing ass.

Blocking balls was one thing. Blocking Hinata's spike, however...

"Idiot," he says lowly, though loud enough to enlighten Hinata of his disdain. "Shit, could you be careful next time, Shoyo?"

"What's going on?" You exit the gym, locking it behind you. "Is that blood?"

"Yes! Because this Pipsqueak thought we were on some real match. Spiked it at me when we're only three feet apart!"

"Calm down, Kei."

And then he did. He did calm down. His chest went back to it's steady pace as he clutched his hand, the blood's flow weak. You walk towards him and take his hand in yours, then you drag him to the locker room.

"Please don't tell me your scar opened."

He could laugh at that sentence, then again not everyone knows everything. He shakes his head and rubs his nose. "Just a wound from one of my fingers."

"Okay, sit here." He sits on a chair as you reach for the first aid kit.

Tsukishima likes you.

Straight to the point, he admits it to himself that he likes you, and he's proud of that. He could never admit that to anyone else though. Maybe it's because you were nice, and he couldn't bring himself to be mean to you and if he ever was, you put him in his place. Maybe he likes you because you're beautiful. Not just pretty, but beautiful. And you were skillfull at bandaging his fingers. That hit a special spot in his heart.

You sit on the desk in front of him and he offers his hand willingly, placing it on your thigh. You dabbed the antiseptic covered cotton on his bleeding wound. Tsukishima barely hisses from the pinching pain. Instead, he looks at you from the scratched lens of his glasses.

You look at him, laugh a little, and push his glasses up his nose.

Tsukishima blushes.

"Be careful next time, Kei," you advice, placing the cotton aside and start bandaging up his wound. "You're the smart one in the group. They could all go to shit if you get injured."

"Eh, I have you to heal me," his words slip past his lips before he could think about what he would say. His eyes widen a little. And his blush, could it be from embarrassment as you noticed his reaction, or could it be from the way you smile at him and massage the lines in his palm as a retort.

"You're cute," you raise a brow, tucking the bandage in.

"You wrap my bandages all the time." He puts his hands on his lap. And you still sit there, in front of him, on the desk. "You're my little healer."

"Is "little" an insult or?"

Tsukishima laughs. He laughs. Then he takes your hand and plays with your fingers, his fingertips tracing every ridge, every bump of your hand. You watch him as he does so, feeling yourself smile bigger and bigger at every second.

So he takes that chance to lace your hands together. You both blush, looking away from one another.

"Take it as an insult," he finally says. "Healer? Don't take it as an insult. I'll be calling you that from now on, though."

You roll your eyes, jumping off the desk. "Okay, Kei."

You both leave the locker room, hands still together, and his bandage still intact.

🏐—

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[teddybeartoji]

imagine laying on top of toji while he's watching some lame sports match or show like an old man and rubbing the stubble forming on his jaw with your hand. he got lazy to shave for one day and it's already like this so ofc you'll get curious!! and it's very relaxing to bother him when there's nothing to do...

"have you ever tried growing a beard out?" and then he'll just answer you with a grunt. something special about him being an old grump i'm going to bite him

NONNIEEEE!!!! TOJI THE OLD MAN TOJI THE GRUMP MY BELOVED!!!!!!! btw i loooooove toji and his stupid old man shows – top gear, two and a half men, prison break, the mentalist (???) etc etc. and aside from the various sports matches, he also loves to watch wwe lmao.

toji absolutely adores when you "annoy" him. his one hand is resting under his head while the other holds the tv remote, and he is doing his Best to not look at you. you look like a pup, staring at him with curious eyes. the prickly feeling of his stubble is making your nose scrunch up every so often and thinks you're just so cute like this. he just grumbles at your questions but you don't mind. you refuse to stop pestering him.

you're tracing your fingers over his earlobes asking whether he'd ever get a piercing; you gently pull at his cheeks, so he's making a funny face and it's so entertaining. you're quite literally using him as a stim toy.

you press an open-mouthed kiss to the junction of his neck and he groans at your antics. but. he cannot hide the smirk that's stretching onto his lips. he drops the remote and moves to squish your cheeks instead. "y'r ridiculous."

"yaluvit." your words are coming out all slurred, his hold on you making it hard to speak properly.

he hums and you feel his whole body vibrate. you melt even further into him. the laugh track plays in the background and he takes his hand from your face. you pucker your lips at him, asking for a kiss with a big grin. but you're just met with a palm against your mouth and now it's your turn to grumble at him.

he's already so smug, proud to be pestering you back. but not for long. because when your warm, wet tongue slides against his palm, he's actually Yelping out. and you use the moment to grab his wrist and stop him from pulling away. sinking your teeth into the side of his hand, he stares at you amusedly.

"are ya a dog?"

"maybe."

there are teeth marks in his skin when you finally let him go and he doesn't waste a second to pinch your side. "behave."

"whatever." you mutter back, your attention back on his cactus-like chin. your soft fingers trail over his skin and he kind of hates to admit that he wants to kiss you stupid right now.

[galedekarios]

minsc & gale

recently i've been doing a playthrough taking minsc along during the limited amount of time we do get to connect with his character in the game and i have to say he's growing on me in a way he didn't in previous titles.

i wanted to take the opportunity here to write a short post about his relationship with gale because that, too, is something i found myself enjoying despite the (too) few interactions that we have between them.

minsc's initial thoughts about gale

Player: How are you and Gale getting along? Minsc: I do not wish to speak of the wizard. Minsc: I could not have said it better myself. - Player Option 1: Gale's great - what's your problem with him? Minsc: He came to me one night with a little book of mischief - full of words and their meanings. Minsc: 'Posterior', he says. 'Can you say 'posterior'?' I refused! Minsc does not need to know the language of wizards. Player: 'Posterior' isn't wizard-talk - it's another word for 'butt'. Minsc: It is an inferior word. Far too long to use in a battle cry, which is where a 'butt' belongs. Minsc: Gale would do better to educate himself in the ways of sword and steel than to throw these pointy words at Minsc. Minsc: Ai, yes. Gale also owns a cat. A cat with wings! That is most unnerving for poor Boo. Player: You should give him a break - he's only trying to help. Minsc: Never! If he is not careful, Boo will shred his books and use them as bedding! - Player Option 2: Did you know that he has an explosive magical orb in his chest that could destroy a city? Minsc: WHAT? Minsc: That is a thousand times more interesting than anything that has ever been written in a book. Minsc: GALE! MY GOOD FRIEND! WHERE ARE YOU? MINSC AND BOO WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT THE EXPLODING.

they may not start off on the right foot, but with gale's genuine interest in other people's cultures as well as his perception and easy-going nature that changes:

sorcerous sundries

Minsc: Minsc has never trusted places such as this. Too much of a wizard's power can be simply packaged and picked up. devnote: Grumbling as we make our way through the shelves of Sorcerous Sundries Minsc: Well, picked up by all but Minsc. When he touches the many delicate little jars, oh how the wizards shout and stare! devnote: Revealing that his objection of Sorcerous Sundries is not in fact a deep philosophical belief that wizards have too much power - they just make him feel stupid and awkward when he pokes at their things Gale: Fear not, Minsc. You have a wizard at your side who positively encourages such curiosity. You'll fit right in. devnote: Reassuring Minsc: Obliged, wizard. Should we find our way to a weaponsmith, Minsc will rough you up a little - so that you too can fit in. devnote: Warm, comradely, would genuinely be doing Gale a favour

i feel like it truly speaks to gale's character that he doesn't dismiss minsc here - neither his feelings of inadequacy nor his innate curiosity about the things he perceives as wizardly.

it would've been very easy for gale - the wizard prodigy, the former chosen, to archwizard - to act the part of the haughty scholar, akin to the arrogant wizards that minsc describes in this banter, looking down on him, shouting at him, but gale doesn't.

gale reassures minsc, encourages him, telling him he'll fit right in. it reminds me of the way he treats karlach and fostering her interest in books and reading. another pair of seemingly polar opposites that still find a connection. i do think gale is quite natural at this, despite his long time spent in isolation.

and minsc does appreciate it - his tone changes to one of warmth, one of camaraderie - and i think this is also when minsc's perception of gale changes: from the annoying wizard to someone he sees as a companion and friend.

rashemi traditions

Minsc: Gale. Minsc worries you might send a fireball up his butt, with all of this stringy hair in your face. Gale: Is that why you keep your head shaved? I assumed it was a custom of some sort. devnote: Curious, referring to Minsc's origins Minsc: Oh, no! Most warriors of Rashemen wear long battle-braids, weighed down with stone. Minsc can show you, when next we camp? Gale: Thank you, but I'm more wizard than warrior. I'm not sure my scalp would stand up to such a plaiting. devnote: Very politely declining

i like this banter for several reasons: i think not only does it show the progression of their relationship with minsc offering to show gale the traditions of his homeland, gale also shows the same curiosity he shows many different cultures and ways of life, same as he does with lae'zel for instance and githyanki culture.

when he declines minsc's offer, he does so politely, without insulting minsc's traditions, putting the onus on himself instead. he's the wizard, not the warrior.

house of hope

Minsc: Gale! You will perhaps able to explain where Boo has not - what exactly is the difference between a devil and a demon? Gale: A fascinating question, one that boils down to which criteria we choose to apply. Are we speaking about the physiological? Theological? Etymological? devnote: In teacher-mode - up for an in-depth, intellectual discussion Minsc: Eh. Just how-to-kill... -ical. devnote: Non-plussed, echoing Gale's ending every word with 'ical' Gale: Oh. Then for your purposes, they are exactly the same. devnote: Disappointed

this banter genuinely made me laugh. again, i like how it shows the progression of their friendship, to the point of where minsc goes from finding gale annoying to imitating his speech. and gale doesn't put it beyond minsc to have an 'in-depth, intellectual' discussion... even if he is disappointed by the end of their banter, realising that minsc's priorities are... elsewhere.

wychlaran

depending on your party composition and who you take with you, minsc can also call gale his wychlaran.

The Wychlaran, meaning "wise old women" in the ancient language of Halardrim, also known as the Witches of Rashemen outside their lands, were the spiritual leaders of Rashemen, communing with the spirits and guiding the souls of the Rashemi people.

minsc does use it, too, to describe a special bond and a sense of duty and protectiveness to the people he ascribes this title to. he did so in bg1 with dynaheir and in bg2 with aerie.

elminster

Minsc: It must be difficult for Gale to imagine great Elminster a-courting. Writing poems. Doing... certain... deeds. Gale: Long before my time, thank goodness. That's not an image I care to dwell on. Minsc: Ugh. It is difficult for Minsc to think of, too. Let us speak no more of it. Minsc: ... Minsc: Of Elminster and the sex, I mean.

another banter that did genuinely make me laugh despite the seriousness of the situation, especially given the bond that elminster and gale share as well, which speaks of paternal feelings on elminster's part that come with a certain sense of responsibility, as well as gale's admiration, but also often exasperation with his former mentor.

on a more serious note, minsc offers great insights in his interactions with gale and gale's story:

mystra and the vremyonni

The vremyonni or Old Ones were an arcane brotherhood in Rashemen. Men that were arcane spellcasters in Rashemen had two choices, exile or to join the vremyonni. Many vremyonni were kept alive for eons by longevity magic. Vremyonni were expert weaponsmiths and magic item creators. On very rare occasions, vremyonni would fight in the defense of Rashemen. Vremyonni used secrets of magic that even the Witches of Rashemen did not use, destructive spells forbidden among the wilds of Rashemen, in case such magic was needed. The Running Rocks harbored secret strongholds of the vremyonni. All vremyonni wore masks.

Minsc: Gale reminds me of the vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rashemen. Minsc: While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. Minsc: It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth I thought it born of caution, after some catastrophe wrought by wizardly men-folk of old. Minsc: Now I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm? Minsc: Though this suggests that Mystra has never tempted a witch into foolishness. Not that I would blaspheme by suggesting otherwise. Minsc: I forget why I began this long and winding story. Yes Boo - we have been spending too long around the wizard.

i think this is a very interesting banter, especially since it's also only marked to trigger if gale agrees to return the crown to mystra.

it's easy to dismiss this banter, laugh it off as just another instance of minsc being minsc, but i think it's important to consider it within the context of game canon and what has been shown to us.

it's a story and everything within a story is there for a reason.

another great insight from minsc comes if gale is pushed towards the crown by the player:

gale and godhood

Minsc: Who among us has not been spurned by a lover? But a word of advice, if Minsc may be so bold: Minsc: Let the wizard lick his wounds. Write some rickety rhymes, and weep most manfully into his hamster's hide. Eh - his cat's hide. Minsc: But... his boasting is unbecoming. 'Claim godhood', he says? Will this make him any less a man with a half-mended heart?

again, minsc does at times share great insight into other characters and he does so here again with gale:

will this make him any less a man with a half-mended heart?

i think it quite accurately goes straight to the crux of what makes it so very easy to push gale towards godhood: he is hurt. he feels abandoned. by his goddess. by his former lover. both as a mystran and on deeply personal level.

he is drifting, seeking something to hold his head above the water. if it's not the protag's love or friendship, it will be the crown.

anyhow, i never expected to write this when i first learned that minsc would be a companion, but i truly did enjoy him and his interactions with gale in particular.

[jji-lee]

maybe it was jeno’s ‘good luck’ or the 3 shots of tequila that he had just downed with haechan, but mark was feeling very optimistic about finding you. he wandered around the frat house, stopping to greet some sexy wonder womans, just in case meeting you doesn’t go as planned, until he was led out onto the house’s patio.

it was mainly men back there, the march winds much too cold for any girl’s skimpy costume. just as he was about to leave he spotted an attractive looking girl with cat ears, well, mark couldn’t see her face per se… but her ass looked attractive. he prayed that this kitty was his mystery girl, because he might just leave this party with her and not you, not like you really knew who he was anyways.

as he approached you, he noticed the empty drink in your hand, eyes roaming the patio, hopefully looking for him.

“hey… kento girl?”

he saw your eyes widen slightly, pink cheeks peeking out from under your mask. score.

“uh yeah, you’re long lee? god that name sounds stupid when you say it out loud.”

you both chuckled at the mention of his dirty username. since when did his mask start feeling so hot? his hands reached towards your mask-

“nuh uh, we said we’d keep our masks on remember?”

mark would have to fuck you without seeing your face first, and to be honest, with a body like yours he didn’t really mind. he thought of his wise friend haechan’s words worst case scenario, just put her in doggy style and problem solved.

“sooo this is weird right, meeting officially but not knowing who we are.”

his mask muffled his speech, blaring music making it even harder to hear him, you reached towards his neck softly pulling his face down to meet yours, smiling before turning your ear towards him.

“sorry i can’t really hear you that well, what did you say?”

ok yes, you had heard his question, but what’s the harm in a little flirting? and clearly it was working as he stuttered his response out.

“um i was saying uh that it’s weird right you know like meeting but still not knowing who we are.”

mark was losing his mind. first of all he’s never met a girl to make the first move on him, you’re not slick, and second why did that noob level flirting actually do something to him. your cheeky smile was proof that you were proud at the fact you managed to fluster him,

“hmm i guess it is, but at least you know what half of my face looks like now, it’s only fair if you let me see half of yours.”

mark wasn’t even thinking before he pulled up his mask to reveal his lips and the bottom of his nose, feeling strangely naked in front of you (this was the most clothed he’d ever been near a girl he’s speaking to) he prayed you didn’t recognize him, what if you were a mark lee fanatic that knew him by his birthmark and you could-

“nice mustache.”

you snorted reaching up to touch his facial hair. he had forgotten to shave so caught up in the idea of meeting you tonight he had forgotten to shave. did he think that he’d keep the mask on all night? that he’d be balls deep in you, bare ass naked with a spiderman mask on? mark refuses to let a girl see him with facial hair. call it a silly superstition, but since that night drunk jisung told him that his chinese roommate had mentioned something about mustaches being bad sexual luck, mark has stayed clean shaven.

“sorry was that a bad joke, it actually does look good on you, well, looks good on half of your face.”

you smiled up at him, and suddenly he felt like maybe his luck wouldn’t be so bad tonight.

“i don’t usually go out much so shaving isn’t necessary, most girls hate it.”

lies. but he thinks so far the loser totally not frat boy thing is kinda working for him.

“i thought you didn’t talk to girls huh, are you a secret player my sweet romeo?”

this loser gets no girls thing was totally working for him. how did you get lucky enough to get matched with a nice guy who isn’t just interested in sex and (from seeing half his face) doesn’t seem to be completely unattractive? flirting didn’t come so easy for you, but those jello shots you had taken with chenle at the entrance seemed to finally be soaking into your blood stream. he chuckled nervously,

“yeah and what if i am?”

“then you’d have to go talk to another sexy cat woman tonight, sorry.”

you both knew you weren’t going anywhere as tension started to build. the cool air seemed to fade away as heat grew between the two of you. playful banter was always your favorite type of foreplay and spiderman’s nervous reactions to your flirting was only making you more excited.

“but if you reallyyy want me to stay i may need some convincing, maybe a little hmmm”

you pointed at your lips, slightly puckering them as you pretended to think.

“oh yeah?”

you didn’t even have to look up to hear the smirk in his tone. you smiled wide,

“only if that’s okay with you of course, i know you’re not too good with girls.”

his hands came out to grab your waist and slightly tug you towards him, your chest meeting his. a small gasp escaped you making him smile. he brought his face down to yours, breath fanning against your lips.

“you sure about this my juliet?”

you nodded slowly causing your lips to brush, and that seemed to be what finally broke the tension. his lips pressed against yours a soft groan coming from him. your arms came up to wrap around his neck pulling him impossibly closer. you slightly parted your lips allowing him access to your mouth, which of course he happily accepted, his tongue came out quickly to interlock with yours both of your mouths moving is sync. his sneaky hands came down to grab your ass slowly massaging the muscle. damn when was the last time you got laid? definitely not long enough to make you take this mystery man home with you, that’s for sure. you pulled away from him making sure to unstick his hands from your latex covered ass, if he had kept his hands there any longer you have no idea what you would’ve done.

“you’re a pretty good kisser mr. romeo.”

“not so bad yourself my juliet”

his hands reached out again to grab your waist again,

“we can take this somewhere more private if you want.”

oh if only he knew how much you wanted to.

“mmm i don’t think so, not tonight at least, we just met, and i have no idea who you are-“

he went to pull the rest of his mask off but you grabbed his hands stopping him.

“no! i mean not in a bad way just, no i don’t wanna know just yet!”

he let out a sigh, you could see his cheeks burn red from embarrassment.

“i’m gonna go meet up with my friends now okay? don’t follow me! until we meet again my romeo.”

you gave him a quick peck on the cheek before disappearing into the house.

“what the fuck just happened”

mark looked down at his now tight spiderman suit, did you just blue ball him?

𖦹 .ᐣ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ cryptic crush — [6] zoo wee mama

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notes : surpriseee i’m posting this early cause i feel bad for making you wait 😔 plot twist chenle’s roommate is jisung that’s how jisung knew she was hot earlier in the smau!!!

taglist : @sunghoonsgfreal , @dalsosapple , @nanaxwi , @neverbeurs , @miichellehciim , @h-aechanie , @hizhu , @mystverse , @wonwootakemyheart , @ppeachyttae , @jae-n0 , @onlyhyunjin , @alethea-moon , @onyourmark-99 , @sunnystarred , @p-d1ddy , @hisrkive , @flwrs4marklee , @haechskiss , @rutheaflowers , @busy-daydreaming02 , @byeonwooseokabs , @bunniin , @odxrilove , @candied-czennie , @injunnie-lemon , @sunflowerhae , @nosungluv , @222brainrot , @vklve , @aerivrs , @slayhaechan , @aek1ra , @honeynanamin , @roseangelxfuma

[alicerosejensen]

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH

I JUST HAD A CUTE LITTLE SCENARIO IDEA. It is about vendetta! leon and young(20’s) reader series! What about reader sitting on the bathrooms counter/vanity while helping Leon shave? His hands are resting on readers tighs or around her waist as he watches her focused eyes. I THINK THAT WOULD BE ADORABLE PLS.

And i don’t think this counts as an ask, but if you’ll want to do something with this im not complainig hahah 👁👁

Warning: Fluff, mention of injuries, age difference (implied but not mentioned), Leon!Vendetta, Leon gets taken care of (this man needs a little love and devotion); talking about nothing.

I'm sorry, I'm too lazy. I write slowly and because of some eternally tired condition

Coming back to you after so many weeks of silence was wrong, or at least unfair. To tell the truth, Leon did not feel that he should have done it at all, the doctor recommended bed rest, but it was all the same. It was not the first time he had been thrown like a rag doll, although this time he felt like he was on the edge, dangerously balancing between life and death, when Aris's claws almost pierced his flesh. At least Leon thought he was going to die thinking about you- the only good thing in his life in recent years.

He wasn't even sure if you would let him in, but when he broke out of the dark tunnel, the whole flight he thought only about how nice it was to return to the person who, for some reason, cared about him. You weren't his wife, you weren't his work partner, you were just a girl. The girl he was afraid to fall in love with because he always thought that this love would hurt you. Although it seems that only one was injured, and it was Leon himself, who came up with stupid rules for himself to protect you.

And here he is, you look at him without any malice, although it would be worth it. Leon really doesn't think he has the right to show up like this without an invitation, but he does, looking into your eyes with a guilty look, hoping that you won't drive him away and let him lick his wounds while he lets you love him tenderly.

"Come in," you nod head, letting him into your tiny apartment, in which Leon felt better than at home.

Although it looked more like a lone wolf's lair. It was much more comfortable and even somehow warmer with you.

Taking a step, Leon feels not like a government dog, but an ordinary person who is taken by the hand and let into a small corner of paradise. Maybe it will last a day, two or a week, but he will be a little happy and loved.

"Should I heat up your dinner?" You ask casually, as if he wasn't ignoring you and running away to drown his problems in alcohol. "Leon?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

"Coffee?" Again you offer him, but he just shakes his head negatively as he sits down on the chair in front of you.

"No"

Maybe you think he came here to end all the little things that were between you, but no. He just needs you as a salvation, otherwise his head will drown in regret.

All Leon wants is for his fight not to be in vain, but every time someone else takes the place of the bad guy, and corporations continue to create viruses that turn people into bioweapons. He runs his hand over his face, feeling the annoying stubble under his palm that should have been shaved off, but having drowned in alcohol, he didn’t want to do anything.

“I just,” he looks at you with a hazy look but completely sober, “Can I stay here? With you?”

Who are you to refuse him? But be honest with yourself, you want him to stay here, especially since his beaten appearance really said that he was better off not being alone. Under the T-shirt, bruises and abrasions on the face and arms and what appears to be a dislocated shoulder are visible. In any case, wanted to believe that Leon didn’t break any bones.

"You know that my answer is yes"

Leon doesn't smile. Just eternally grateful that he won't have to sit in his dark, lonely apartment lying on his bed again after taking a strong painkiller.

He sleeps well with you, he doesn't have nightmares, and he's just comfortable here. You can turn on the TV, watch an old movie with you and lie quietly, knowing that he will not be called anywhere until he recovers. There was work left in New York for B.S.A.A and TerraSave, but not for him, besides, he didn't take a shower before coming to you, fortunately you had some of his things, including a spare toothbrush and a new disposable razor.

And that was the problem. The problem with his shoulder, which you kept looking at without stopping, as if he had grown a third arm.

“Working moments,” Leon muttered, feeling that he really wouldn’t refuse your dinner. “Can I ask you something else?"

“Yeah, sure.” You really never refused him.

Arias threw him against the wall, clearly sparing no effort, but thanks to the adrenaline, Leon didn’t feel much pain and was able to maneuver and attack this crazy bastard. The truth is that falling from a motorcycle does not benefit his body, which is why when everything calmed down, Leon realized that it was simply difficult for him to pick up the very razor that was now in your hands and do such a simple job as shaving.

“Just stay still, or better yet, sit down,” you said loudly, seeing that Leon didn’t like the touch on his neck when you tried to cover him with shaving foam.

It was already like instinct when they touched his neck. Leon immediately jerked to the side when he felt someone else's palm on his skin, as if the touch caused him pain. He never talked about how often he was grabbed by the throat, but from his reaction one could guess that this was a sensitive area that he did not like to trust to anyone but himself.

“I can’t shave you if you twitch like a little kid who doesn’t want to wash his face,” you joked, using your finger to spread the shaving foam you had on your hand onto the tip of his nose.

"Just...a reflex"

You thought about it, biting your lip, but Leon just exhaled, gathering his strength, knowing that you weren't going to kill him. He trusted you, so he calmly sat down on a small chair, putting his hands on your waist, trying to relax.

You saw how tense his muscles were, as if at any moment he was ready to make a jerk, his fingers squeezed the fabric of your tank top while you distributed foam over his face, trying not to overuse the product at the site of his abrasions that have not yet healed. When that was done, the razor in your hands gently touched the skin of his neck and gently shaved off excess hair from his face with smooth movements against the coarse hairs.

Carefully avoiding all the cuts, you managed not to hurt him. Step by step, you constantly rinsed the razor to remove all the hairs from it and walk it over the places where the stubble still remained. The most difficult thing for Leon was his neck - he felt too exposed and vulnerable, but when it was over and you moved to another zone, it seemed to you that he even exhaled.

In the end, getting carried away with the case, you didn't even notice how Leon was gradually able to relax and carefully watched your movements, finding you charming when you are so focused only on him. Maybe it's a little selfish, but for him you look so beautiful that he thinks about asking you to shave him again in a week when the stubble grows back, just to watch you take care of him again.

It took you a few minutes to catch his eye when you were completely done. The blue eyes stared at you with such attention that for a second you might have thought that something interesting was written on your face since he was looking at you like that. It's a little awkward and you look at him in response, stupidly blinking your eyes when you wipe his face with a towel, which makes a smile bloom on your lips and you look away.

"What's funny?"

To be honest, there really wasn't anything funny, it was just embarrassing for you.

"Did you leave me something like a mustache?" He joked and you burst out laughing

"Good idea! I'll do it next time."

Leon chuckled, because as a temporary joke, you could do that. That's just the accumulated fatigue that fell like a heavy boulder on him did not allow him to rejoice as much as you do.

"You're obviously going to amuse Chris," He sighed. You threw the razor into the sink and froze for a moment when you felt his head pressed against your stomach, relaxing in layers as you run your fingers through his hair "Thank you"

"No problem," you kissed the top of his head, helping him stand up, noticing how he hisses from the pain in his back when he straightens up.

"Fuck." Leon hisses in pain, catching his breath, realizing that maybe he should drink more painkillers and let a loved one take care of him. "I think I'm catching up with my age"

"Maybe. But I think you should rest and follow the doctor's recommendations at least until you stop needing painkillers."

"Until the next mission, you mean?"

You didn't say anything because you didn't know much about his work. After laying Leon on the bed, he finally exhaled with relief after looking at you with secret gratitude. Literally the only person who gives him warmth and comfort, and maybe he should come to you instead of washing down his bitterness in a bar. Thinking about it, Leon even thought that if he had stayed with you, he would not be suffering from his injuries now, however… What would have happened to Chris and Rebecca? But it's too late to regret what happened. He's alive and he's with you now. He lies in your bed listening to the usual chatter while the TV is on in the background and you settle down next to him bringing an extra blanket and pillow.

In the end, you just plopped down next to him, thoughtfully looking at the picture on the TV, pulling the blanket over yourself. Leon moved a little closer to you, hugging you around the waist, nuzzling your cheek, covering his eyes from fatigue. Of course you knew that he works for the government, but never what he does specifically. You saw the "DSO" marking on his gun, but you were afraid to ask him about it, although the fact that Leon has the right to carry and store weapons freely already hinted that he does not work in some average position and his injuries… one is worse than the other.

It is difficult to unravel the thoughts of this person, especially when he is completely immersed in himself. You know that he has some problems with alcohol and a couple of times you even quarreled about it, after which Leon always apologized by coming to you with flowers and other gifts. You turn off the light in the room, turning to him, meeting the tired gaze of blue eyes.

"Thank you. I rarely say this, but I'm grateful for everything you do for me."

"I know."

"Maybe you should find a better guy than me, but" he snuggled even closer and there was fear in his words, as if you could make him leave right now, "but I want to be with you. I can't lead a normal life, but being here with you feels like I'm becoming normal. Who he was before September 30, 1998"

"And what happened on September 30th?" you ask, putting your hand on his palm, smiling, and immediately see how noticeably even in the dark his face changes, becoming more gloomy.

"My first day working as a cop. I overslept and was late for my first day at work"

He could have said a lot and revealed his soul to you without fear if he hadn't been bound by the government. Raccoon City is classified information, and even no matter how much he values you, you shouldn't know anything about it. Fortunately, you do not pry into the truth, leaving his personal border untouched, and for this Leon is infinitely grateful. Maybe in a couple of weeks, when his injuries stop being so painful and his condition improves, he'll even laugh at what kind of mustache you made for him while shaving him again. He will really be happy and he will not need alcohol in this.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Birthday! Free space if this gets in on time, but either way birthday wishes and thank you so much for all your writings. They're really good and such a bright spot in my day.

Carlton is having a good day up until he sees what’s clearly a civilian’s motorcycle parked in one of the reserved spots. If the state of disrepair didn’t make it obvious, the ACAB bumper sticker stuck on the back certainly did. Oh, he was going to give this asshole the biggest fine he could, and get his bike towed for good measure! The good people of the SBPD are working hard everyday to keep the streets safe and this guy wants to make a mockery of that right in front of them? What a sick bastard.

He stalks inside, face set into a scowl. “McNab!” he shouts, startling the officer who turns from whoever he’d been talking to. “Who the hell’s bike is that out front?”

He looks at him, wide eyed, but then a kid in a leather jacket is stepping out from behind him and clapping him on the shoulder. He’s got on faded jeans, brown boots, and a dark blue henley. He’s a couple days off from a decent shave and Carlton’s not at all surprised when he says, “It’s mine. Sweet ride, right?”

“You can’t park there,” he snaps. “I’m writing you a ticket – McNab, write him a ticket! Now!”

“Uh,” McNab looks between them uncertainly. “But he, you know, um. He can park there, Detective.”

Carlton snarls, “Why the hell do you think that?”

“It’s okay, Buzz,” the kid says, stepping forward and offering his hand to Carlton with a smirk that has him itching for his cuffs. “I’m Shawn Spencer.”

“I don’t care who you are,” he says. “Only police personnel can park in that area.”

Spencer’s grin gets a little wider. 

McNab is honest to god wringing his hands. “Um, Detective, he is. Police personnel, I mean. He’s the new head of Internal Affairs.”

Carlton stares. This has to be some sort of practical joke. “Are you even old enough to have gone through the academy?”

“My youthful appearance is due to my intense moisturizing routine, a zest for life, and my good humor,” he says. “Laughter really is the best medicine.”

“You’re out of dress code,” he says, because most of him is still refusing to believe that this is happening.

“I’ll write myself up for it later,” Spencer says, which is ridiculous, because that’s not an IA issue, it’s an HR one. Which as the head of Internal Affairs, he should know.

He opens his mouth, but whatever he was going to say is interrupted by Chief Vick swooping in, several files held in her hand. “Gentleman. Detective Spencer, my office, now.”

Spencer winks at them. “Buzz. Lassie.”

What the hell did Spencer just call him? Before he’s managed to choke back his outrage, Spencer’s in Chief Vick’s office and McNab is making a hasty retreat.

He stalks over to his desk and Lucinda glances up from her own desk at his approach. She’d left early this morning to go back to her place to shower and change and had been responsible for the good mood he’d been in up until he’d encountered Spencer and his stupid bike. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing,” he says, then, “Did you meet the new internal affairs guy?”

“Shawn? Yeah, he seems nice,” she says, already looking back down at her paperwork.

Nice? Nice?

The day’s just begun and it’s already shot to hell.

[littlesislovesyou]

tell me how much better than my wife you are. Give me details

Where to start? I’m sure I’m much tighter than she is, probably a better body too, I probably take care of myself a lot more than she does, I’m always shaved, always smell good 🥰 whenever I go into public and at home<3 I never don’t look good, I’m sure I’m also way better in bed than your wife, I’d do things she refuses to do, she’s probably so boring and never wants to anymore, compared to such a younger girl who wants it all the time, I’m always ready for it, always so wet<3 I’m sure I get wetter than her too💕 I wouldn’t nag you everyday and stress you out, or spend your hard earned money on stupid things, I’d be just happy with you filling my lil pussy every night and maybe a few more times<333

[puddinqinq]

Could I maybe request a nsfw alphabet for Naruto and Sasuke. <33

Nsfw alphabet ft. Naruto & Sasuke!

A/n: thanks for being my first ask! ♡ sorry if it's a bit short, this is my first time with nsfw 😭🩷

Naruto Uzumaki -

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): He tries his best! He's super full of energy, and sometimes forget you're tired after sex. Let him know what you need and he's got it for you! His favorite part of aftercare is probably holding you and talking.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): His favorite part of himself is probably his hands! Whether in a sexual context or not, he loves touching you. His favorite part of you is your face, he loves looking at the expressions you make!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person): He loves finishing on your face, or in your mouth!

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): He REALLY wants to fuck you with his shadow clones.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): Moderately? He's had a couple partners since becoming more popular in the village. He has to be told what you like!

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.): He's often all over you at random times, he likes going at it against the wall.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc): He's very silly, it's in his nature!

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.): Naruto doesn't shave. He's not a fan. His hair is just a bit darker than the ones on his head!

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…): Naruto can be intimate, but oftentimes can't be serious. That doesn't mean he doesn't find it romantic, he just likes cracking jokes and giggling throughout sex!

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon): He masturbates a lot, even with a partner. Very very easily worked up.

K = Kink (one of their kinks): Praise 100%, he lives for your affection and compliments.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do): On the wall or over a counter... Often too impatient to make it to bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Praising him about nearly anything! He's immediately all over you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Naruto refuses to degrade, he'd feel too guilty afterwards.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc): Prefers to receive, but is never opposed to giving!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Fast! He's naturally very hyper, and sometimes will need to be told to slow down.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.): Loves them! He gets to set a fast pace and get things done before having to head out on a mission, go out, etc.!

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.): He'll experiment if you want to! He's plenty happy with his sex life as it is, but would try most things at least once if asked.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…): Lots of stamina! He lasts pretty long and can go for multiple rounds without needing a break (please...tell him if you need a second).

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): Not really, he doesn't see a need for them. He doesn't mind you having any, but won't go out of his way to use them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): Huge tease! Even if it's stupid icha icha paradise quotes it's his mission to fluster you. Once he discovers edging it's definitely his favorite thing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make): Surprisingly I don't think he'd be very loud, talkative sure. But he's more likely to groan and grunt quietly.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice): He goes way, way rougher on you if he feels shown up my Sasuke.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words): about 5.5 inches, but pretty thick. Veiny.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): Incredibly high, he's almost always down for anything.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): Doesn't fall asleep for a while, but tries to once you're asleep.

-

Sasuke Uchiha -

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): So attentive! Constantly asking if you're alright and if he can get anything for you. Has water and a cloth on standby for you!

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): He likes his eyes most. Not only as a pride thing but because whenever you compliment them it fills him with so much joy. He says he loves every part of you equally, but I think he's an ass guy in (not so) secret.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person): He's absolutely without question into breeding. Restoring the clan and all of that.. If you ask him not to of course he'll comply but other wise he'll ask to finish inside.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): He may or may not steal some of your clothes to bring with him on travels, and jerk off while smelling them.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): I'd say he's pretty experienced, many women find him wildly attractive.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual): Missionary, he loves looking into your eyes!

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc): He's very serious. Naruto's exact opposite, he sometimes makes a sarcastic remark but otherwise he's not one for jokes.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.): He trims and sometimes shaves, both hair colors are the same!

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…): Very very romantic! He wants to make it special for you most of the time, even if you've been together long.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon): Not too often actually. Only if he really really misses you! Otherwise, it's incredibly rare.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Breeding, obviously. He loses his control at the thought of you having his children.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do): 100% the bed, he's normally going out of his way to take things to the bedroom if you both aren't there already.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Talks about wanting kids, and smelling you. If you have a perfume you often wear or shampoo you use he's buying you more the moment you run out.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): He hates the idea of causing you any pain, even light slaps make him feel awful.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc): He prefers to give! He's okay dying if it's between your thighs. Sometimes you'd have to pry him off of you after he starts, Sasuke is a determined man.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Sasuke is slow and sensual, he may speed up towards the end but is more into the intimate aspect of sex.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.): Absolutely not a fan. Maybe if he's in a rush and especially worked up, but even then he wouldn't feel as satisfied.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.): He's okay trying what you want! He doesn't have many specific things he'd like to try. Maybe temperature play. Not risky at all.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…): Pretty high stamina, a lot like Naruto! Lasts pretty long and for a good amount of rounds.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): Is out too much to use toys, really. He likes using vibrators on you when he's home, though!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): He's wrapped around your finger, if you want something he won't deny you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make): He's a lot more vocal when he's close, otherwise it's an occasional grunt (sometimes you wonder if he's even enjoying it... He is.)

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice): I think he's blunt about what he wants. He's likely to straight up tell you, "I want to have sex". Pretty honest guy!

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words): About 7 inches, not very thick. Upward curve.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): I don't actually think it's very high! He likes it, yeah, but his libido is a bit below average. He doesn't mind whenever you want, though. You often may have to take initiative.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): Not very quickly. He holds you until you're asleep but stays up thinking or looking at you before he finally closes his eyes.

[solar-wing]

⚣ Therapist BatBro 👓

⚣👓 A/N → Therpist BatBro makes his debut. The second pic is honestly what I feel a therapy session in the Wayne family would look like. This is from another request I got from my previous account.

⚣👓 Summary → Your family isn't pleased with your new hobby or group of friends. But, somehow you've made it a business. Gotta respect the hustle at least.

⚣👓 Words → 2.3k

REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 👓

⚣ ENJOY 👓

The way I see it, you're either a vigilante with the fam and all the villains just seem to like you for some reason and ask where you are during a battle OR you're not a vigilante and you volunteer at Arkham (which would be absolutely insane but it's Arkham so it breaks even) and everyone there is cool with you. Even the Joker (which won't fly well with Jason at all).

We're going to go with the second option for this one.

So, since Bruce was adamant about you not joining the family business as a vigilante since you were the youngest and he had an unyielding urge to protect you and your childhood innocence, you needed to find something to do in your free time.

What better than to volunteer at a crazy house for psychopathic murdering villains?

Of course, considering Arkham was filled mainly with criminals your father had put there along with your siblings, it probably wouldn’t be wise to do that since they’d obviously wouldn’t approve.

SO, you did it anyway and just didn't tell them.

BatBro contemplating...

Duke was the first to find out. Batman had supplies Arkham needed but since he was at work and Duke always took the day shift as everyone liked to joke, who better to drop it off than him? Imagine his surprise when he finds his baby bro in there serving ice cream to Mr. Freeze.

"Here ya go Fries, my man. I sprinkled some ice shavings on there to make it a little tangier for you..." You said handing him the cone.

"Ha ha ha, aren't you hilarious." Victor Fries replied with a genuine smile. As far as The Signal persona knew, he was only capable of smirking or mean-mugging the shit of people, with the exception of an occasional shivering face while mocking someone for how cold they were.

'Oh, they're not gonna believe this...' Duke thought, racing home right after. The way he left the institution, the guards almost thought there was a breakout or a fight going on. Nope, but there might be when he told everyone.

Of course, no one believed him at first, just staring at the dude as if he just said the craziest thing in the world like Bruce being an emotionally available parent.

When you came home that night acting cagey and weirder than normal, they figured something was going on and maybe you were at Arkham but for something completely different than what Duke thought it could be. Because, there would be no way Bruce Wayne’s, aka Batman, own son would ever even consider fraternizing with criminals, let alone his enemies. Right?

So, like any other sane, normal family who responded to distressing situations with maturity and rationality... they spied on you.

Damian, Tim, & Cass followed you the next day. Tim was understandably distraught but also curious how you could have managed to form a friendship with Gotham's criminally insane.

Like...THEY WERE INSANE. But, when he really thought about it, considering the family you came from...yeah, okay. He can see the correlation now.

Damian, however, refused to believe his little brother could be so stupid and dense. How could you form relations with the enemy like that? It was stupidity. Plain idiocy at its finest. It was betrayal!

On the other hand, it was a smart move looking from an assassin's point of view. You know the whole keep your friends close and enemies closer deal, but that was his thing. Not yours! So you'd be getting extra noogies and brotherly beatdowns when you got home. In the name of camaraderie and righting your careless decisions.

Cass thought it was fucking hilarious.

Upon their arrival and finding you trading riddle jokes with Riddler, their jaws all collectively dropped to the floor.

"Okay, okay okay..." You breathed, calming down from your wheezing laughter. "Riddle me this...I'm neither a man nor a woman but don't hurt my wittle feelings cause I'm still a person. I'll kick you and scream at you, even both during a tantrum. My ego's bigger than my head but shorter than my height, who am I?"

Riddler took a moment to think about it before the metaphorical lightbulb appeared above his head, "Boy Wonder!" He pointed.

"Which one?" You immediately responded.

"The fourth one!"

"Yes!"

Tim and Cass both had to think about it before they realized the clues in the riddle. They're eyes went wide when they realized who you were talking about, and turned to see Damian who looked ready to tear your head off with his teeth.

"He's in for it when he gets home..." He growled through his grinding teeth.

Damian pissed (Left) | Tim & Cass (Right)

Everyone was mildly concerned when they came home that night and asked them how everything went only for Damian's immediate response to be that he was going to get his revenge sketchbook.

Why Damian has a revenge sketchbook, no one knows. But, everyone was just the right amount unsettled by it.

That night at dinner there was a bit of a tense air as Damian had to be placed between both Bruce and Jason to keep him from lunging at you with his salad fork. Usually, you were used to Damian’s somewhat murderous tantrums, but this was on another level.

He almost looked like he would grow horns out of his head at any moment, which would actually be somewhat fitting. Considering he was the grandson of the Demon and all.

You also noticed how Tim and Cass kept weirdly staring at you. Neither of them said something, which was odd(well except maybe for Cass), but you just ignored it and ate your dinner.

That night, you put some of your old booby traps from when you first moved into the manor back into place. You needed some sort of reassurance and protection to help you sleep. At many points throughout the night, you shot out of bed and grabbed one of the many random weapons you had hidden around you when you thought you heard someone trying to sneak into your room.

Damian definitely tried but had learned his lesson after the last time he got caught in one of your traps. You took a lot of inspiration from movies like Home Alone and The Parent Trap.

The next day, Dick and Steph went to check out the mental institution insane asylum.

Steph also thought it was funny like Cass but in a more ironic type of way. She’d rooted for you to get your own vigilante identity and join the family business. So this was like the ultimate petty revenge and she was here for it.

But Dick just couldn't imagine you in a place like this. His sweet adorable baby brother, in this horrid mess? He was calling it, either blackmail or manipulation. A rude awakening was awaiting him around the corner.

They looked to see you in the middle of practicing a handshake with Bane.

"No Bane, fist bump, then the arm wiggle..." You said, showing him the move for the 4th time.

"Oh sorry buddy," He replied.

"No problem man, let's try again."

They watched you go through the whole routine, Steph taking a video on her phone while Dick looked in surprise and jealousy. How come you and him didn't have a handshake like that? Every little brother should want to have a cool handshake with their cool big brother! Was he not good enough?!

Steph laughing in petty (Left) | Dick breaking down (Right)

When Dick stormed into the manor later muttering about showing you a real handshake, Bruce only raised an eyebrow when Steph walked in looking thoroughly entertained like she just watched the funniest show of her life. It certainly felt like it.

That afternoon, Dick gave you the cold shoulder all day. He even canceled your weekly brother movie night, which shocked everyone, especially your dad. What could have been so bad that would cause Bruce’s first protege to treat his kid brother like this? The same kid who he’d absolutely lose it if they went to anyone other than him for advice or would pout if he didn’t get the first hug from him when in a room full of people.

Of course, he still cracked when you gave him the hurt puppy dog eyes (a trick you learned from Jason that he used to use on Bruce all the time when he was younger). Dick caved and you guys ended up watching a movie, though you were mildly concerned whenever your oldest brother paused the movie and took the time to highlight the friendship and connection between two characters, especially if they were siblings.

Something like a special code, an inside joke, or even maybe a HANDSHAKE. What does it say about a big brother if his little brother doesn’t want to have a cool special handshake with him?!

Subtle.

You just nodded along, making a mental note to avoid any family-oriented films for your next movie night.

But, after this incident, you’d fully managed to get Bruce’s attention. He knew that Dick out of all his children was usually the least likely to get irate over something that wasn’t serious. So the fact that he did, despite how unserious it may have seemed, but it was settled.

Something was going on and your dad, no…Batman was going to get to the bottom of it.

Jason decided to come along with your father, fully prepared to drag you out of the building by force if he had to. He even went as far as calling your boyfriend Conner Kent, aka Superboy, who he and Bruce had a love/hate relationship with because they couldn't really threaten the boy like they wanted to if he hurt you.

Well, Jason couldn’t at least.

Bruce had more than enough kryptonite in multiple storages across his warehouse and had no problem showing it to the half-Kryptonian as a warning.

Conner was more than a little peeved, try fucking pissed when he heard you'd been hanging out with supervillains. And he as well was ready to sling you over his shoulder if he had to. But, probably not in front of your dad who kept throwing pointed glares his way as they moved through the building.

When Batman showed up demanding to see where the volunteer by your name was, they quickly rushed to show him to your location. He couldn't fathom this. The mere thought that his youngest child, his sweet, innocent (on a good day) good-natured son, would be hanging around all his enemies, laughing with them like they were good ol pals?

He'd sooner believe Joker was going to therapy.

The shock of his lifetime was also waiting for him around the corner.

They came around to see you through a window sitting in an office room in business casual attire, holding a clipboard and writing down notes while Joker was laying on a couch with his cuffed hands resting on his chest, venting out his emotions.

"And sometimes, I do feel like I go a bit far. But, I can't take all the blame. I mean, everyone paints me as the villain, but Batsy plays into our little game just as much as I do. Why does he get painted as the hero and me as a crazy clown? Well, you know, besides the clown face, HAHAHA!" He vented, ending with his usual eerie cackle.

"Uh-huh, and how does that make you feel?" You asked while scribbling a few notes on your legal pad and adjusting the fake glasses on your face before turning around at the sound of the door opening.

You felt your heart drop in your stomach when you saw your father, brother, and boyfriend all staring at you with very unhappy looks.

"BATSY! Oh, do come in! We were just talking about you. I think it's about time you and I got some relationship counseling." Joker exclaimed.

Not one word was said while Conner grabbed you by your wrists, (gently of course because he's caring like that) and dragged you out of the room, Jason not too far behind, ready to tear you a new one. Batman held his shoulder, while Joker just watched in amusement, "Guess my hour's up."

You, Bruce, and Jason arguing (Left) | Joker enjoying the show (Right)

You were immediately brought home after getting an earful from Jason to which you offered him his own free session.

He agreed.

Bruce demands to know why you would even consider going there, socializing with those people.

"Well, seeing as how I can't join the family business, I figured I could do some good in some way. And villains or not, they've got good in them! Just you know, when they're not trying to murder people." You answered.

You were interrupted by your other siblings appearing before you felt an arm forcibly turn you around which Conner raised an annoyed eyebrow at, but he kept his mouth shut.

"What does Bane have that I don't? Am I not good enough as an older brother to have a handshake with?"

You sighed, "Is that why you were so upset the other day?! Ugh, would you like to create a special handshake with me, Dick?"

" Yes! Super secret too! You can't have any handshakes with anybody else!" He hugged you while you patted his back.

Brothers could be so needy sometimes.

You could see your boyfriend eyeing you both with the strangest look. In your defense, he had plenty of warning of how weird your family was.

Before things could calm down too much though, everyone heard a shrill voice screaming your name from the top of the staircase.

"Y/N!"

"Fuck..." You muttered under your breath, before turning to see Tim and Cass giving you nervous looks.

“You were there with Riddler, weren’t you?”

They could barely look you in the eye as you turned to see Damian standing on the banister, holding one of your slippers in his hand.

"Who's short now?!" 

Alfred went to get the first aid kit.

Damian with your slipper...

BONUS:

☀️ | Bat Family | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

[descendantsramblings]

Maybe some dating headcanons for Morgie and Hook with a more dominant gn! partner?

And maybe some nsfw headcanons if ur ok with it but no need

I do not do smut, however I will cross over into makeout scenes. So if you consider that nsfw then sure it's nsfw. I hope you meant together because that's surely how I did this.

Also this is so different from my normal posts tone wise, let me know how we feel about it?

Any way!!! I haven't written head canons since 2021 (I think the Gil ones? Maybe Harry's idk) it feels so good to write them again.

The Dominant Type

James Hook x GN! Reader x Morgie le Fay head canons

No pronouns used

'Warnings: Sfw dominance, make out/heated scenes including hickey mentions (probably the furthest I'd ever be comfortable going) , pet names, reader is possessive but not in a toxic way, Polyamory (obviously) I talk about Hook's hair an ungodly amount read into that what you will

Word Count: 1.6K

Originally, back in freshman year when it all started, it was just you and James

But by Junior year James couldn’t deny that Morgie had a thing for you, he knew it should make him jealous but something about how his roommate- his best friend- stared at you was so hot 

And you’d have to be stupid to pretend you didn’t see that the sorcerer had a little thing for your boyfriend, hazel eyes always locked on Hook’s pouty lips while the two spoke, constantly trying to find a reason to touch him

When the two of you confronted it, talking about the boy between lazy kisses, both of you came to the realization that you wanted him too

So who could blame you two for asking him if he wanted to join you?

At first, Hook tried to hide that he was so submissive when it came to you, but Morgie-Who had watched from the sidelines for years by that point- knew better than that. It was no shock that you wore the pants so to speak

Quickly it fell into a rhythm, You were always the dominant one while Morgie and Hook were both switches in their own right. There was no true rhyme or reason to who leaned more submissive, it just sorta worked out

Hook Focused head canons:

He won’t admit it outside of the two of you but James is needy

And a giant brat

You never know if you’re getting him lounged across you like a house cat or extreme sass and attitude until one of you puts him back in his place and you love the unknown aspect of it- of him

He loves to hit you with a “make me” when you tell him to do something (Morgie gets an equal but different “bite me”) just to see the way you smirk, knowing he’s in for it

He’d die if his other friends knew though (Something that drives Morgie crazy because Hook is the biggest tease he’s ever met and he loves to catch an attitude in the hideout) 

He loves to playfully pull away from your lips so you’ll thread your hands through his hair and force him to hold still while you kiss him properly, sighing into your mouth at the contact 

James adores when you baby him though, he longs for it

Morgie making him sit on the bathroom counter so he can shave his face or you straddling his lap and putting his makeup on for him

If his boots come untied, you’re on the ground tying them for him before his mind has fully processed that it even was undone.

Doing his hair for him, or messing up his hair, really just anything that has to do with you touching his hair

He loves to push his luck in public for the thrill of you or Morgie shoving him against the door or wall to kiss him the second you’re all alone

Pull his hair while kissing him, Force him to look you in the eye while you speak. He eats it up, he likes when you two get more aggressive with him, especially if it’s you. The way you refuse to deal with his attitude drives him wild 

If he thinks Morgie is getting more attention than him he’ll lay across the two of you and genuinely pout, whining about how you both “hate him and want him to die” because he is the most dramatic boy to ever live

You often hold his hook, leaving his good hand open for Morgie to take but if you’re in the middle of the two of them it’s always his good hand, rubbing calming circles on the back of it with your thumb

Buries his face in your neck when he’s upset, playing with his hair while he’s snuggled into you like that will always calm him down

He’s melting into your touch if you or Morgie wash his hair for him, it’s his favorite act of love

Polishing his hook for him is also a love language in his mind

If y'all are spooning he absolutely has to be the little spoon

Loves it when you undo his shirt for him absent-mindedly pressing kisses on his face and neck and shoulders as you do. There’s nothing more to it, just you doing something minor to care for him all on your own 

He can’t sleep alone, if you’re not over he’s curled up against Morgie (not that the sorcerer would complain about the way his head fits so perfectly in the side of his neck, the boy is so warm when even in the summer Morgie can find a reason to shiver) 

You call him “Honey” and he just melts, kissing you before you can finish your sentence or staring you with those big puppy dogs eyes until you kiss him

Morgie Focused Head canons:

Unlike his boyfriend, Morgie very rarely has an attitude but by god is he clingy

Making grabby hands at one of you when you dare to be in a different part of the room from him

Laying on your back if you’re refusing to cuddle him for any reason because he needs the closeness

Adores laying on top of you with his arms tucked underneath you 

And he doesn’t care who sees it when he’s being needy, he proudly claims the two of you, you make him feel safe

He can pout like no one’s business though, Morgie knows how to get his way and make Hook think it was his idea (doesn’t work on you though, something he’s come to accept) 

Hug him from behind, it makes him feel good to know you give him affection just because you want to and not because he asks for it

He doesn’t prefer to be babied but he does like to be taken care of, to him there’s a major difference

Loves when you put one of your jackets on him and zip it up for him or when you drape it over his shoulders when you notice him shivering

Or standing between your -or Hook’s legs- letting you wash his face after calming him down, the gentle motions gaining  you all of his attention

He prefers to be in between you two, the middle spoon or the middle person while y’all are walking side by side, he likes to know he has both of his partner’s attention without having to fight for it. 

Doesn’t mind if you or Hook get rough with him but he prefers gentle touches. Softly hold his jaw while you kiss him, slide a hand into his back pocket when you walk with an arm around him. Card your fingers through his hair while he’s laying in your arms talking to you

He likes to sit on the floor, between your knees with his head in your lap while you play with his hair

He loves verbal dominance too. “Let me help you”, “Baby, come here”, “That’s my boy” it makes him feel appreciated, like you really see him 

Sits on your lap a lot, likes to feel your arms wrapped around his waist and your cheek pressed against his shoulder (likes it more when you tell him to do it)

He’s definitely the type to distract you from what you need to get done so he can lay in your arms for longer

Loves praise, you can get him flustered by simply telling him he did a good job on a test

Whiny, worse than Hook when it comes to being whiny, the boy nearly begs for things

Loves it when you get possessive over him, especially when Uliana is giving him a tough time

Nuzzles against you like he’s trying to scent you (maybe he is)

Call him “Baby”, “Sugar”, or “Sweetheart” and he’s a mess between your adoring hands, eyes looking up at you with stars in them 

Even if he’s not as submissive, he’ll sometimes ask you for permission for things (Mainly if you’re kissing James and he wants to)

When he is feeling completely submissive though, he loves looking to you for approval, nearly glowing if you specifically give him permission to do something without him having to ask (not that he needs your permission to begin with)

More of them together:

Morgie isn’t a brat on his own but when they’re both feeling more submissive Hook has no trouble coaxing him to be bratty with him. You have your work cut out for you if it’s one of those days. Nothing’s worse than one sassy man but two of them 

If you are sleeping over, most of the time you lay between them, they’ll both lay their head on your chest, letting their intertwined hands rest on your stomach. You’ll scratch Morgie’s head with the hand on his side while your other arm is around James’ waist pinning him to you with all three of your legs becoming one big tangle in Morgie’s bed

Grabbing the nape of Hook’s neck to pull him off of Morgie’s lips when you walk in on them making out, kissing him from behind while Morgie’s lips find a new home on the boy’s jaw. His half-lidded doe eyes look so pretty while he’s looking at you with hunger in them. 

Or holding Morgie still while Hook tickles him, the boy is absolutely the most ticklish person you know. 

They both love seeing you get jealous, especially since they know you can’t get set off by them. Heaven forbid some princess starts flirting with James or Uliana gets too handsy while trying to get Morgie to do something she wants. They know they’re going to end up with your hands all over them, whispering in their ear about how they better know they’re yours. It’s unbelievably hot to them

Heaven forbid they decide they want you to stop what you’re doing so you’ll pay attention to them, they’re pulling out all the stops until they can get what they want from you. 

You’re always touching one of them in some way, sometimes both of them. A hand on Hook’s shoulder, a leg thrown over Morgie’s lap, your arms both wrapped around their waists. 

Leaving visible hickeys on them, literally marking them as yours -especially on their jawlines or collar bones (something Morgie does in fact beg for) 

Sometimes Morgie kisses James purely so you’ll grab him by the neck to focus him back onto you. He doesn’t do it often but something about kissing you over his shoulder like that while James’ hands are on his hips is intoxicating

[aizawas-dryeye]

➭nanami kento headcanons

content: headcanons duh, fluff, drugs mentioned like once, smutty (cunnilingus, ass eating, spanking, TINY bit face slapping, nipple stuff

words: 484

ko-fi

this will include sfw and nsfw headcanons so do with that what you will

• • •

SFW

nanami definitely used to have gauges and maybe even a labret and he tries to hide the piercing scars as much as possible

probably raised by his grandparents OR raised by his mom and his grandma

i feel like he had some sort of bad hobby when he was younger like smoking or something that only really went away when he found his love of baking

day drinking with him is SO fun like if y'all go out to brunch and get mimosas and he gets a lil tipsy???? he turns into SUCH a gossip

this man wants children so bad but he refuses to while he's still a sorcerer

bisexual lmao 30/70 split u decide which is which (JKKKKKK its jus funni)

his cheeks get so pink and cute when he's drunk

he LOVES cats and wants one so bad but he’s sooooo allergic

first time he smoked weed, he lowkey greened out but literally nobody could tell because he has decorum

he can play all types of instruments because he was totally in a lil band in his teen years, but he’s best at bass guitar and the drums ! he doesn’t play now tho

NSFW (minors go away)

this man will eat pussy AND ass he dont give a FUCK ! certified fucking munch bro he will put it down hairy, shaved, sweaty, clean, from the back, upside down, in the shower, sitting on his face, 69 it truly does not matter please just smother him

definitely into spanking, like pulling you over his knee and slapping your ass jus for funzies (i also think he’d be into face slapping but only if requested and he’s very VERY hesitant at first, but i’m just biased bc i want nanami to shlap me across the face !)

he would never have sex in his office building bc hello, but if he had a home office he’d cockwarm you at his desk while he goes over stupid boring paperwork

likes doggy the most because he knows it’s the best way to get deep in your guts

he’s truly open to trying anything once, and lets you know if he’s uncomfortable

his neck is SENSITIIIIIIVE especially the nape bitch. if your scratch at his undercut he’ll like cum in his pants lol

the first time he had sex he had to fake his own orgasm

he’ll let you do all that weird shit where you like hold it while he pisses and stack donuts on it n shit

his thrusts are almost calculated to be torturous like it’s too good it overwhelms you. he reads your body language like it’s the fuckin holy bible, babyyyyy

lowkey likes when you play with his nipples EVEN THO he chastises you when you bite them. one time you accidentally bruised them and for like a week, every time his shirt brushed against his nipples he’d pop a boner

[sky-kiss]

Pinned Post: Guess I Should Make One

I mean, it's a Trash House. But I probably shouldn't have just like...a bunch of loose fic just rolling around the blog. I'm going to try and keep this updated but. I mean. You and I both know I won't.

Long Fic:

Sex, Death & the Infinite Void - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

My ongoing fic, focused on Raphael's attempted conquest of the Hells. Things have not gone as smoothly as anticipated. He comes to the Dark Urge after death and makes a deal. Team Theater Kid does its best to navigate deals with Archdevils, start a cult, Joi's father manifesting in her life. Etc.

I Don't Think About You Anymore (But I Don't Think About You Any Less) - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

Ok, it's not long. A two-part fic in a sad times AU, where Raphael offered a Dark Urge a place as his consort. She refuses him. They have a terrible relationship (it gets better?)

Hell In Your Eyes - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

Raphael has a bad dream. He wants to feel in control again. So, he bangs his duchess. That's it. That's the fic. I lied. This is now a smut compilation fic.

Second Nature to Me Now - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

This is an unholy amalgamation of Baldur's Gate and My Fair Lady. No. I will not answer any questions.

A Helping Hand - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate [Archive of Our Own]

Haarlep/F!Tav/Ascended Fiend Raphael have a good time.

Raphael x Tav Tumblr Asks Fics: (Under the Cut. TOO MANY)

Oh, god. Why didn't I NAME any of these. The titles get unhinged:

Angry Raphael Doing Torture

Raphael Speaking Infernal to Tav is Sexy

Tav is a Moron Who Signed a Contract Without Reading It

Bathing Raphael

Tav Accepts Raphael's Offer to Go to Hell (But in a Hot Way?)

Raphael Dancing with Tav

Tav is in Danger, Raphael Saves Her

Tav Snoops Around the Devil's Den (Raph is Right There, Idiot)

Raphael Attempts A Love Confession (Local Devil Crashes/Burns)

Softer Raphael? I Think This One Involves Cuddles

Word Prompts: Love & Worth

Raphael x Haarlep: Haarlep Teaches Raph a Lesson

Raph X Tav: Sex in Front of Mirror

Raphael Get Mugged (But Not Killed!) in his OWN HOUSE

Local Devil Publicly Shamed, Emergency Contact Still His Ex

Local Devil Exploits Idiot BFF's Propensity for Dying

Devil's Boyfriend Asks Out Devil's Idiot Crush; Is Only Sane Person

Local Devil Too Lazy to Shave Himself, But Also Sexy/Shirtless

Local Devil Partners and Terrible Drow Bitch About Parents

Reader Makes Very Bad Choices with Local Ascended Fiend

Local Devil Gets a Treat (Smut)

Local Devil Reminds You He Is Not for Cuddles (He Is)

Local Devil Sandwich Local Idiot (But Cute)

Coffee Shop AU: Friends Attempt to Help Local Idiot Date Hot Man

Coffee Shop AU 2: Friends Takes Matters Into Own Hands Due to Growing Disgust and Repulsion with Local Idiot and Hot Man

Local Devil Masquerades as Priest; Local Idiot Fooled

Local Devil and Local Idiot Just Kinda Grind on Each Other?

Local Devil and Local Idiot Throwdown in Hell

Local Idiot Tries to Rob Local Devils, Is Shocked by Repercussions

Coffee Shop AU 3: Local Idiot and Hot Man Flirt After Date

Coffee Shop AU 4: Just Some Shower Cuddles

Local Idiots Saves Local Devil's Lives: Is a Threesome Currency?

Coffee Shop AU 5: Snowday

Ascended Fiend Raphael Smut

Local Devil Is Kind of Nice for Once, Offers Bath

Local Devil is Truly Over the Local Idiot's Stupidity

Raphael Solo Sexy-Time

Reader Get Wrecked By Local Devils

Local Devil is Feeling Soft for Local Idiot

Local Idiot is so Dumb She Causes Local Devil Psychic Damage

Local Devil naps on Local Idiot

Reader is Hunted by Haarlep and Ascended Fiend Raphael

Local Devil Horrified by Own Child

Local Devil Not Dead, Gets Some Horrible Revenge via Local Idiot

Huge Devil Creatures Gives Cuddles

Local Devil Really Badly Burned (But not Dead!)

Local Devil Mistaken for Tiefling (Exhausted)

Things go Very Badly for Local Idiot

Local Devil Catches a Cold

Local Devil Introduces Local Idiot To Devil Father. It's bad

Asmodeus x Baalphegor

Local Idiot Kills Devil Crush, Consults Major Devil Hottie for Help

Local Idiot has Pissed Off Local Devil, Relationship in Shambles

Local Devil Transforms Nude

Local Devil has Beautiful Hands

Coffeehouse AU: Office Hours

Local Devils go "Fishing"

Local Idiot Helps Bloody Naked Local Devil to Take a Bath

Dadphael: His Kids are Thieves

Local Idiots Gets Absolutely Destroyed by Local Devils

Local Devils are Genuinely Awful: Bad Ending

Local Demon Seduces Local Idiot

Raphael x F!Tav: Corruption Smutlet

Raphael x F!Tav: War

CoffeShop Au Part Whatever: It's Snowy or Rainy and they Cuddle

Raphael and an Angel Play Chess or Something

Raphael is really too old to be drinking milk but here we are

Doll!Tav Get Their World Rocked By Raph/Haarlep

Local Devil "Comforts" a Sad/Tired Tav

Raphael and Haarlep Wreck Local Idiot

Modern AU Snippet Channeling some House of Usher

Haarlep and Raphael have some Bath Fun

Raphael and Tav have a Kissy in Honor of Kissy Day

Raphael is not dead (but is pissed off)

Raphael is too good for sex but is still going bang you

Early Raphael/Haarlep

Raphael Lingers in Bed and has big cat energy

Post post post canon Raphael GETS THE BIG WIN

Raphael & Jaheira have a catty conversation

Random Crap (Headcanons & Stuff) & Other People's DOPE ART:

Raph x Joi: Dirty Headcanons

Joi Looks Like This

Timeskip Raphael (SHAHS, YOU QUEEN)

Raphael & Joi Shopping (Please Note the Brooch)

Simply Drew a Gorgeous Joi (Thank you!)

Simply Drew Raphael and Raphael

Commission of Duchess Joi!

Simply Drew The Cutest Raph/Joi I've Ever Seen, Go, Gaze Upon It

Simply Drew a Sexy Murder Joi (Fresh from hunting her not husband)

Commission of Archduke Raphael and Duchess Joi

Ok. I think that's all of them. You no longer have to roam the wilds of the blog if you do not wish. I have released you from that dark task. Love ya'll. You're great. /finger guns/ Send me asks if you want. If I don't get to them immediately, I apologize.

But yeah. Keep on keeping on. Keep like...being amazing for Raphael. He doesn't deserve it, and he won't appreciate it, but like...I dunno.

[queenimmadolla]

For the one word prompt ♥️

Eddie, friendship, angst (i feel like being sad tn lol)

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

“So, that happened.” Eddie’s knuckles rapped against his knees, an obvious sign of nerves.

The two of you were in Nancy Wheeler’s basement, surrounded by junk food and atrocious party hats to celebrate Argyle’s birthday. Pizza had arrived a couple of minutes ago, and everyone had suddenly decided eating upstairs was more appealing. Everyone, except you.

Your stomach was still turning from the event that took place three days ago. That, coupled with the other person involved also being in attendance of your friend group’s get together made for some unsettling waves in your belly. Some alone time would have been beneficial.

Then Eddie came back down before the rest of them and you wanted to die.

“Y-yeah,” you stuttered out, gaze focused on the television where Kim Carnes was so aesthetically crooning out about Bette Davis’ eyes, “I didn’t think they’d actually do it. Pretty sure they shaved a couple of years off their lifespan.”

Jonathan and Argyle, both cross faded, decided it would be a good idea to see who could handle eating a spoonful of salt better. Jonathan had coughed his out and stated his chest hurt.

“You know I wasn’t talking about that.”

You could feel the heavy weight of his gaze, face heating up while you picked at your nail polish.

When you didn’t say anything else, you heard him sigh and sink further into his chair.

“We slept together, Bits. That’s a pretty big fucking deal.”

Oh god. Why’d he have to say it outloud?

“I know, I was there.” You snapped, recalling how you’d gone over to his trailer to return a cassette of his—like you’d done a hundred damn times—with not a single fucking ulterior motive, and ended sweaty, naked and plastered to Eddie well into the night and early morning.

See, you had no trouble blowing a single moment of weakness over, that wouldn’t destroy your friendship. Make it a little awkward for a couple of days, but you’d be fine.

Unfortunately, it hadn’t been a single time. The two of you had reached for each other throughout the night and he’d been inside you for a large majority of that time.

You’d internally freaked the fuck out when you woke up, but Eddie was a heavy sleeper so you’d been able to make a quiet escape. Once you realized how much trouble that could have caused, you’d gone back over to Eddie’s only to see Steve’s car parked out front, and you’d overheard the conversation between the two through his open bedroom window, with Eddie stating he’d been glad you left in the morning.

You didn’t stick around after that.

“Not for long,” came his catty reply and you finally glared at him to find him already scowling right back; eyebrows pinched, chocolate brown eyes hardened and irritation written clearly all over his face.

“What do you want me to say? We both already know it shouldn’t have happened, so why talk about it?”

Eddie felt a sharp pang in his chest, but he refused to allow you to see how vulnerable he really was, not if you’d be breaking his heart tonight.

He’d been ecstatic when it happened, when you kept wanting him. The group would constantly tease him about you, all of them sure you would inevitably get together but Eddie was a pessimist. You’d been friends for a while and yeah—sometimes, it felt like you wanted the hugs the two of you would exchange to last as long as he did, but he never caught you staring. It was always the other way around and his wishful thinking would only get him hurt.

Then it wasn’t wishful, not that night. All Eddie knew was bliss and the pessimist in him was happy to retire until he’d woken up and you were gone. He felt a mixture of emotions and called Steve over to vent; while he was somewhat relieved you’d gone home—simply because he was terrified he would have said something stupid by talking out of his ass with nerves and end up driving you away—Eddie was eager to see you again but anxious on what to say.

With the pep talk from Steve, and how the two of you were obviously meant to be if the universe had finally brought you together like this, Eddie was ready for the talk.

Except, it didn't happen because you’d been actively avoiding him. He knew what that meant. Pessimist, remember?

“Because if we don’t talk about it, I’m afraid you won’t talk to me again.”

Your stiff posture relaxed, guilt sinking into your bones because you knew he was right, you had been ready to avoid anything but small talk with him and you hated it because he was one of your friends. You would have been in the wrong because you couldn’t face the consequences of your actions.

But. But, but, but…you knew you would have caved.

Eventually.

“That’s not true, Eddie.”

“Isn’t it?”

God, you also hated how he seemingly knew the way this conversation would play out, expecting every single one of your responses.

“It’s not,” you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, vulnerability was not something you liked to share. You liked to be the upbeat, chipper, groovy friend. Even when you weren’t. It was easy that way, keeping everything to yourself, “This is so embarrassing to say, given what got us into this, but I can’t stay away from you. You’re my friend and our friendship means everything to me.”

Eddie was your friend, who didn’t want you. Not like you wanted him. And he didn’t have to.

“I don’t want to lose you, Bits.” Eddie’s resolve melted away, no longer was he the intimidating metal head who looked unapproachable. He was your friend again, “Especially, over this.”

Over you not wanting him; not wanting to kiss him, not wanting to intertwine your fingers, not wanting to sleep in his bed, not wanting to love him the way he loved you. It hurt. 

It hurt like hell and he felt like he was bleeding out but if it meant you’d stay in his life, he’d bleed out for the rest of it. 

“I don’t want to lose you, either, Eddie. Can we please be Bits and Eds again? Without the hormones ruining it?”

What you meant was, can you please forget about how nice I said it was to have you hold me?

You could see how glassy his eyes were and you were sure yours were no better. 

He gave you a small smile, arms opening up for a hug, “Of course.”

What Eddie meant to say was, I should’ve dealt with the awkward morning after and been awake to keep you from leaving. 

When you got up to curl into his lap for a hug–heart aching–the thought of how nice it was to be in his arms popped up again.

You shot that thought down and blew the smoke away from the barrel, your own heart bleeding in your hands.

[bonny-kookoo]

Hi Ms Bonny

So I remembered you said no one sends asks for the ilysib couple anymore, and I just had this idea last night but didn't have the energy to pick up my phone again💀

Okay so, basically kookie shaves his head right, maybe for the weather or his hair was damaged or I don't know really I'll need your creative mind for that part👀 and he becomes a little self conscious and oc comforts him by saying he's still😋 and he doesn't believe her. So she takes him out on a date and like before, everyone is looking at him and basically building his confidence back up.

PS I really hope you get this ask because I've sent some for this couple before and it was never answered

Tumblr sometimes eats asks, I'm so sorry :(

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──💜── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

He's avoiding you- and that's just so not your Jungkookie.

You thought everything was going well between the two of you- but apparently something must've happened to make him so withdrawn again, refusing to see you, refusing to meet up, refusing to show himself. You're not sure what's wrong-

But you're about to find out.

"You know, I'll just camp outside then, I don't care!" You threaten, sitting in front of his apartment door, stubborn as ever- when his voice is finally heard.

"You'll laugh." He whines, before you can hear something slide along the door before it falls to the floor with a thud- he's probably sat down on the other side of the door. "You'll.. I look stupid." He says.

"Did you dye your hair or something?" You ask, and he's quiet, making you angry. "Jeon Jungkook you could've buzzed it all off and well full on Vin Diesel on me what do I care! Are you serious right now?!" You get up to knock on the door and right his doorbell again. "Open that goddam door, I'm worried about you, nerd!" You cry out again, even stomping your leg in anger.

"No, I'm.. I'm fine. Just.." he stumbles over the words, clearly panicking.

"I'm sorry." You say, and it's quiet. "I.. I'm sorry if my constant joking has gone too far at some point, if I made you feel like.. self conscious or something, I swear I never wanted to do that." You confess, feeling terrible. This must be your doing, right? It has to be your fault. Because you're insensitive as fuck, and you can't read a room, and you got way too comfortable with him and-

The door opens. He stands in front of you, beanie on his head.

"Its.. it's not your fault." He tells you. "You didn't do anything." Jungkook mumbles, and you can't help yourself.

You basically tackle the poor guy, door falling out of his grip and closing behind you, making you successfully infiltrate his home. He holds you because he's missed you too- he hates the fact that he couldn't have you this close for days by now, no physical contact with you whatsoever, no visual sight of you. It felt like torture-

But he just feels like he can't face you.

"Why are you doing this?" You whine, tears clear in your eyes, making your eyelashes already heavy with them. You're not even wearing makeup today, he notices. This must've really gotten to you.

You're still so pretty.

"What happened?" You worry, and he begins to bite his lips, a nasty habit he has whenever he's nervous. "Jungkook.." you say his full name, no variation of it, no silly petname.

He knows it's serious.

"I.. look stupid." He confesses. "I.. had an accident, a few days ago, in the bathroom." He sighs, sitting down on his couch with you, while you listen. "I slipped when I stepped out the shower, and hit.. my head on the edge of one of the cabinets.."

"Oh Jungkookie-" you whine.

"And- and they had to like.. cause my hair was so long they couldn't stitch it without, you know, shaving it, and it looked dumb when I came home so I thought might as well buzz it all off-"

You're quiet, staring at him.

"Are you okay now?" You ask, oddly serious.

"Yeah, they kept me overnight to make sure I was fine-" he answers, before you shove him, hard, angry.

"You stupid idiot!" You scold. "You're so dumb! What the fuck?!" You complain, angry tears in your eyes. "What the hell do I care about your hair?! You could've died or something, and all you thought about was how you could look to me? Am I that shallow to you?" You ask him, and he shakes his head.

He deserves this. You're right.

"No.." he denies, taking the scolding like a dog that's being told off. "No you're not. I just.. felt weird. Like I'm not.. fit for you anymore. You should have a nice looking boyfriend and all that, and you always said how you love my hair-"

"I love you most!" You whine, leaning forward to climb on his lap, and cling to him. "I love you, not your body. That's just.. that's just the only thing I can touch, so I want you to take care of it.." you explain into his chest. "..so it'll be here for as long as possible.. until we're all wrinkly and old.."

"Oh." He hums, realizing what you mean.

He's never thought about it that way. But you're right- he doesn't love your body first and foremost either, but you- your personality, your soul, your mind. Your body is simply the vessel you live in, and he'd want you to keep it up and running for as long as he's alive too.

"I'm sorry." He confesses. "I'll never do that again."

"I sure dare you to, I swear I'm gonna break in next time!" You threaten, letting him dry your tears before your hands reach for his beanie. "..can I see it?" You wonder, and he looks down, shrugging.

"I guess." He confirms.

The moment you skip his hat off, you search for something- finding the small stitched wound near the tip of his ear, making you immediately coo at it, fingers carefully touching it. "Does it still hurt?" You wonder- and he shakes his head.

"Just a little, if I lay on it or something." He admits.

"Oh my baby-" You whine, before you rub his head. "This feels weird though. How is it still soft?" You wonder, taking the pressure away from the situation, making him laugh. "And you honestly rock this look. Now you really do look like a guy who can throw a punch."

"..I can and will, for you." He mumbles, making you laugh again.

"Heh, and I lo~ove you for it!" You sing a little, kissing his nose before you kiss his lips a couple of times, cheeks held in your hands.

And he can't believe he's been living without this for just a week.

He never wants to miss you ever again.

[sanjisblackasswife]

hiiii i love your headcanons about daily lifestyle moments with the monster trio🫠🫠🫠

how about them seeing their S/O waxing their legs or even their pussy? it could be funny

A/N: Haaaaaa thank u! I gotchu. Enjoy!

Monster Trio Watching You Wax (NSFW-ISH)

Black Fem Reader (…she calls Zoro the N word like ONCE)

CW: A bit suggestive, Mentions of PP🐔 and TooToo🐱, The Guys are a Bit OOC

Luffy

Luffy can either be incredibly fascinated or does not care, however let’s go with the first option because it’s more funny to witness

You don’t usually wax your legs too often, but it was a rainy and boring day and it was about that time so you stuck yourself in your room and Luffy came running in partially wet and ready to annoy you.

“Y/N! Where are your pants you finna touch yoursef again?”

“Luffy!? No! And I told you to stop bringing that up…”

You explain to him you’re waxing your legs and your vagina and he doesn’t really understand why you need to do that.

“I like your hair, though. Feels good.”

“Please stop—“

“Why?! It’s so soft when I eat—“

“LUFFY, SWEETHEART PLEASE—“

He wanders around your room, eating your snacks and watching you wax and you finally finish your legs and you decided to kick Luffy out to wax your cooter and this man refuses.

“I refuse to leave.”

“You don’t have a Choice—“

“It’s MY ship! PLEASEEEE? I wanna watch—OH WAIT CAN I DO IT FOR YOU?”

After a bunch of begging you decide why not…I mean you don’t have too much hair down there.

You sigh, pulling down your pants on the bed and Luffy pushes you on your back and spreads your legs open.

“You’re kinda wet—“

“LUFFY!”

You guide him on how to apply the wax, and though he is messy he manages to not burn off your clit…

However he snatched it to harshly and you screamed

“My bad…”

“GET THE HELL OUT!”

Zoro

“Why the hell are you shaving in here I want to take a nap—“

“Nigga, this is my room.”

He doesn’t really give af that you’re shaving, but when he opens his eyes and sees you take off your panties and he jumps up off the bed

“What—?!”

“Shutttt up i need to wax my pus—“

“WHILE IM IN HERE?”

“You literally seen it the other day—“

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT—“

You smile and offer for him to wax you and he flinched at your offer

“Oh don’t be a pussy—“

“DONT CALL ME THAT!”

He tsked, but agrees. You did most of the work putting on the wax and tape over it and invite him over to snatch it off.

“I don’t get why you do this stupid shit I told you I don’t care about the hair…”

“Just snatch it off!”

He snatches BOTH of them off with BOTH hands at THE SAME TIME.

Immediate tears.

“ARE YOU OKAY?!”

You’re in the curled up position on the bed trying not to scream so instead you flip him off.

Zoro pats your butt, “you’ll be okay.”

“NO IM NOT!”

He groans and leaves the room to come back later with an ice pack.

“What the hell is this—“

“Woman i told you not to wax—“

He’s trying okay he’s trying.”

Sanji

You tell him you won’t be bothering him today because you wanted to wax and Sanji being nosey asks “Wax what?”

“My legs and my…um…”

….

“My lady…”

Sanji knew exactly what you meant because that’s what he calls your cooter.

He does a love struck smile and prepare you a tray of snacks and juice while you wax your legs. Once you were done you began to pull down your panties and that’s when Sanji bursted in.

“O-oh..”

He got a side view of you now bent over with your panties down.

Could not handle it he nearly fell off the ship.

After he clams down and apologizes like crazy for not knocking you let him stay if he wanted as you waxed.

And that’s when he offered..

“I can…I can wax you….if you want…I don’t —-I don’t want you hurting yourself…”

You hesitate for a moment, he has blushing like crazy, but his eyes weren’t filled with hearts…maybe he wasn’t trynna be too much of a pervert.

You agree and let him. He was excited to say the least. He never cares about your hair either, he just loved looking at your 🐱 honestly.

If you were able to ignore his heavily breathing and shaky hands he was pretty good at applying the wax and the tape.

“Okay I’m ganna rip it off, my love.”

“Okaaay.”

He does it and quickly puts his cold hand on the area (like how waxers do, and Pat it a little)

You were shocked he did that and smiled at him, he had some blood trickle when he was done and that was only because he couldn’t stop staring at it.

“Stop staring!”

“I—um…but…she’s so pretty…”

You’re not supposed to have sex right after a wax, but the way Sanji kept rubbing the sides of your labia you gave in for him to only soothe you after a harsh wax with his mouth.