#Terrible writing

[ineffectualdemon]

I am fucking haunted by a terrible piece of writing that was shared on Livejournal (though it from an older actual published book) sometime in the early 2000s

If anyone knows what it is or can find it PLEASE let me me know as I need to read it again

Its an excerpt from a story about a woman and the fey? And there is a moment where the fey king? Prince? Casts a spell on her and then there is this long ass section of the worst purple prose of your life

Dude uses like 5 metaphors for every single body part! Like this isn't an exact quote but it's like "her toes were like snails, small white stones delicate bones, small white shells"

And the dude describes her ENTIRE BODY like that feature by feature!

This was posted in a writing group and blew up

There was a dramatic reading!

There was fan art!

AND I CAN'T FUCKING FIND ANY TRACE OF THIS TERRIBLE WRITING ONLINE

It's SO bad and I need to 1. Read it again and 2. Make sure Tumblr is aware of it because good god

[iveriee]

escape.

— tom riddle x gender neutral ! reader

—IN WHICH, you conduct an experiment. how would it feel date everyone's ideal student? he really is a riddle (pun intended) and you mean to solve him.

— toxic and obsessive behaviour. (yandere ) .masturbation (reader's genitalia is not specified). drugging. manipulation. smutty. overly flowery writing. mutual pining ? ?. stalking. dd;dne. murder attempt (?) an open ending lol. 2.4k ish words. angst. reader is a horny shit. not proofread, i just pulled this out of my drafts.

DATING TOM RIDDLE IS STRANGE,

he scares you—he really does.but not for the reasons one would think. he is not a monster with sharp claws that will dig into your flesh or a haunting, grey ghost that will glare at you.  infact, he is rather handsome with his flawless visage—with his high cheekbones, neat, precise black hair, and hazel eyes so dark that they are almost black. he is the kind of person you cannot look in the eyes—divine, pristine, unattainable, adored by the professors, and idolized by his peers.

you are sure he knows it. he knows—he knows that with perfection comes intrigue.  they cannot help but sink—fall, turn into mush, drown. they might aswell have been stabbed in the chest. but even with the hot, fresh blood gushing out of them, they do not question it. who are they to question him? he is beyond perfection—he allures them in and seeps into their bones. they are fish on land and he is water.

but you are guarded. you do not  melt when he smiles that smile of his. you do not blush when he gently takes your hand, his touch tender like the light caress of a feather. you do not feel warmth when his lips brush gently against yours, as if you were a fragile vase that he was trying not to break. it is a facade weaved of pure, soft silk. silk that would sharpen and snarl around you anyday he wanted.

of course, you aren't interested in being choked to death. but you are interested in him. his touches become even lighter and he looks at you so, so gently. his eyes soften when he sees you and you are not sure what he is thinking.  he stares at you almost as if you are an angel— precious.

but there is not merely 'love' in those dark eyes—when you hold his hand with trembling fingers or give him a piece of your treacle tart, his grip tightens and there is something so strange about his gaze. he looks at you with syrupy longing this time. pure longing. as if you are a polished treasure. his eyes grow heavy-lidded but they never leave you; as if you are his entire world and he might aswell sink to his knees and taste and lap at your every inch. he seems to want to devour you anyway.

you do not know how you feel about that.

                                 —

unfortunately, your layers are peeled back aswell and you slip away; you begin to smile whenever you see him—an unplanned burst, a summer flower when the sun kisses it. then, his scent of sandalwood wafts into your nostrils—a terrible, terrible thing, really.

you can smell it when you the sun's golden rays melt into your dormitory and the birds chirp.

you can smell it when the professor's words fly over your head.

you can smell it when your hands flow and you do not know what you are writing with the quill. you smell it everywhere but, it really emerges when you lay on your head on your pillow.  it slips in between your legs and what can you do but kick it out with your fingers?

it is lust then;  you want to fuck him.  and it is mutual aswell then; he wants to fuck you too. or that is what you think.

                  

                             —

it takes time to brindle up the courage but you do. maybe you shouldn't have.

"tom, would you mind fucking me?"

heat blooms in your stomach and it comes with a tight, sick knot of dread. you are scared. merlin, you will never admit it but you are scared. you scared of what he will say—you are scared of his lips curling into a scowl—you are scared to see disgust in his eyes, you are scared to never feel his soft touch again and you are so scared that you cannot speak further. how could you?  your throat is a dry, parched thing. you should've never said it.

his lips part and his eyes are blown wide. it is not comforting to see him shocked. he pauses to consider and the heavy, burning knot in your stomach tightens. you have done it. you have fucking ruined it.

his expression is then still; he does not smile or scoff—impassive, flawless. but this is not the time to admire him. you've made him uncomfortable at the very least and it lodges itself  between your lungs until you cannot breathe. are you so vile that you made the ultimate manipulator speechless?

"of course I will." he finally says, still unsmiling. your lips quiver and you slowly run your fingers across his face. his skin is velvet smooth, unmarred. you feel his warmth bleeding into your fingers and it's spring's kiss. the budding of plush, glistening cherries or the slick, red honeysuckles that flower when the snow softens into the soil.

again, you are a summer flower and he is the sun. he is only saying this because he doesn't want to upset you and you can't help but fall into it. he stirs your fingers away from his face and intertwines them with his own slender ones. "but," he pauses, lips brushing your fingers. "not today."

"why?" you ask. it's a stupid question. you are no one to question his autonomy but then again you do.

"because," he muses, hands slowly falling away from you. "i want our first time to be special and today is not exactly an extraordinary day, is it?".

"oh." you say. "i see."

but you don't. you don't see.

—

the days are restless.  and the nights — god, the nights? they are worse. was it not bad enough already? you think.  they are heavy, slick, and scorching. vicious, maybe. but that is alright. you'd love being viciously fucked — him pushing you beneath him in the bed, ignoring your soft whimpers and cries  and taking what he wants. his head buried between your thighs, your hands pulling harshly on his hair as your eyes roll back and—and—

in short, you ache — ache for him and the only substitute is your hand. even that is turning meagre. you cannot be satisfied with burning, lewd fantasies and a limb. and it is not as if he'll fuck you.

the heat spreads — a blazing scorch that fries your insides and boils your cheeks when you catch a whiff of that familiar sandalwood.

but even that is rare — he avoids you, turns the other way when you're both in the same hallway,  buries himself back into his studies if you ever bump into eachother in the library and pretends as though you are not there. no words are exchanged ever since that 'i see.'

it is a clever trick. and you willingly fall for it.  because maybe, just, maybe,  he is doing this to make you desperate with rotten, depraved longing — to make you want him back. yes, that is the case. he must doing this to make you as equally as stalker-ish as he is.

but you are not that naive. there is always a ghost that haunts your roaring masturbation.  it lingers, a depraved voyeur, and snickers as you wail out his name. it curves and twists and coils and blows into your ears as you clean your mess up with a handkerchief that smells of sandalwood — when will he come back? will  he even come back? did you make him uncomfortable? is he....disgusted?

and after every self-fuck, you shudder violently. how do your cheeks fare now, that his fingers don't trail across them? how are your lips now, that he does not bruise them with kisses? how is your waist, now that he does not wrap his arms around it? and how are you?. how the fuck are you?

you reach for something to hold on but there is nothing. you open your mouth to speak but there is no one. you lean in to kiss but there are no lips. how could you have ever survived his love? how could you have stood still as he gazed so, so heavily upon you? how could you have inhaled the sandalwood? merlin, you don't know because that was not you. who were you?

and, who are you? a summer flower in the sun, maybe. petals pale and withering, red leaves dull and withering — just a crunch beneath someone's feet. dancing in the autumn wind in search of that summer breeze.

—

he is excellent and you hate him for it. you hate his gleaming, polished record of perfection. you hate his poise, how he speaks so eloquently. you hate his disarming smile with dimples on the left. you hate all that because it is not yours, but it was once.

was once, you remind yourself as Slughorn partners you both in potions. does the old geezer know somehow? you think, as you make the pain-staking journey to his seat. it's in the first row, of course. goody-two shoes.

your feet are being prickled with nails, perhaps — because every other step needs another intake of breath. your chest is a heavy, taut band and it is sick — oh so sick that you do not feel your eyes sting. the air hits your cheeks like a violent punch as you sit down. fucking sandalwood.

what will you say? there is so much and yet no words form as your lips part. an apology, maybe. or a confrontation. both do not sound logical and you want something that is — you cannot afford to spill your tears infront of him.

and him? he does not look your way, no, he remains impassive; still, eyes focused on his potion, long slender fingers working with effortless grace. he is beautiful. so, so disgustingly beautiful. the perfect curve of his nose, the way he towers over you, and something else — not quite there —. the phantom of a frown that marrs his lips as you continue to glare at him.

you snap your head away and wonder if he'll grip your face and turn your gaze back towards him and then whisper into you ear that you're all his. you still remember it. that murky look of longing he gave you. it is impossible to describe wholly, too depraved, too deep for words. his eyes, narrowed with aching, never left you. almost as if he was a starved man, hungry and ready to devour.

it makes you tingle.

it will not happen again, you decide midway through mixing your ingredients. so you must do it yourself.

"riddle..?" you say, his last name an unfamiliar pang on your tongue. "did i...did I do something wrong?

he doesn't hear you — atleast that is what you think. of course he wouldn't respond — what were you thinking? there is no reason for him to. you are a stranger; a pathetic creep, a perverse fool. blind. stupid, even.

and maybe you are being a fool again but — that look could not surely not be erased in a matter of days. surely he could not have discarded you like a torn piece of parchment or, more accurately; the pulpy, rotten stem of a summer flower.

but oh he did. he did do that. he threw you away and now you want him to take you back. "...riddle?" you repeat.

he turns to you. and it is the blossoming of flowers again. the gentle rebirth of the summer flower, squashed in damp mud, slender stem sprouting out of the ground — wet. tiny. fragile. he is once again divine, pristine, unattainable.

with his flawless pale skin, jet-black hair that falls in gentle waves above in his forehead, dark eyes lightly rimmed with lashes, and a perfectly carved nose, he scares you again; how can one be so beautiful? his lips quirk but he does not  smile. "no." he says. "you haven't done anything wrong, you could never."

ah.

you melt into heated goop. light, dreamy and weightless. your fingers tremble to reach out take his hand but you do not. you cannot. when was the last time you felt your cheeks burn in this way? you don't remember but honestly you do not care and besides—

Potions ends and so does your excitement.

your legs sprint on their own, perhaps, because you did not mean to bump into him in the hallway. (or perhaps you did.) huffing out for breath, you take his hand before he can turn away. his hand is so warm — long and slender. you could hold it forever and let the heat crisp you. you are surprised by your own firm grip as his eyes widen. he raises a brow but doesn't pull away.

"tom," you whisper. "please. please. don't go... don't leave me alone again. not after what you just said. for fuck's sake." you croak out. "please?"

his lips curve into a thin line and your lips are trembling already, afraid that a sob might crack through. he still does not pull away. "come here." he coos as though you are a pet. and maybe you are because you do as he says.  you bury yourself into his chest and consume that sandalwood. god. you inhale it deeply until it's wafting inside your nostrils — so poignant that you're drowning.

you're drowning and his neck is the only thing you can hold on to, and hence you wrap your arms around it. his fingers trail across your hair and you shiver. it is as if you are floating now. a sob howls through and another and another — and you cry. until your cheeks are wet and slick with hot tears and the front of his robes are soaked.

"sorry." you say. "so sorry for ruining your uniform." he does not smile at the jest but he instead takes a strand of your hair and kisses it, like he always does. a sweet gesture, perhaps but there is something else. something you cannot quite put your finger on. a storm clouding his dark eyes, just like that syrupy look. except, he remains still. nobody could notice it, besides you because you know  his stares.

he lowers his gaze, looking at nothing in particular. you feel his nails digging into your flesh as he leans in and whispers, his breath hitching. "you are mine." he bites your earlobe and you wince — but you do not mind the sudden pang of pain. it is, in it's own twisted way, alluring. a strange kind of allure. "all mine." he is right, you are all his and you'd be happy to be that all your life

and then you feel something prick against you. he raises his wand and presses it against your throat.

what the fuck.?

you go cold — throat parched, lips parted. your stomach squeezes uncomfortably tight and you can feel the bile splashing beneath your tongue. your ears ring with an indescribable echo. why in— no, what is he doing?  "tom..? why are you-"

"shh," he murmurs, pressing his lips to your sweat-drenched hand. "be quiet." you open your mouth to speak but no words come out. no matter how much you try, it is as if there is some invisible barrier that does not allow you to speak. "do you not understand?" he asks, but it is not an question. "so desperate and blindly in love, aren't you?" he grabs your collar and a smile, if you could call it that, graces his lips. you cannot breathe.

"but I like that. it is amusing, really, to see how lonely and touch-starved you are." he muses, his hands tightening around your throat. fuck. fuck. fuck. you thrash your legs but it is of no use. how could you have ever  idolized him? how? "but you are not mine. not yet, at least."

something sweet trickles down your throat, leaving fire in it's wake — you kick and silently scream as your lungs burn saccharinely with an ache. scorching to your core, lighting your heart on sizzling candy.

a love potion, you think as your eyes turn hazy and the world spins — why is everything so..far? tom himself feels as though he's miles away from you, his voice is but an echo, and his touch is numb. not there at all. so much for an experiment. why, you think. you already loved him.

even if that treacle tart you gave him had poison in it. on second thought, this love potion might aswell.

[firewolf111]

Projecting onto Roman time!

Janus: Are you okay?

Roman: I'm fine.

Janus: You know, for some reason, I do believe you.

Roman: *growing frustrated* Well, what do you want me to say?

Janus: The truth.

Roman: *chuckling* That's ironic coming from you.

Janus: *sighs* I didn't come here to fight, so if you could just-

Roman: Just what? Huh? You know what?! *throws hands up in the air* Fine. You want the truth?!

Janus: Yes. That isn't what I asked for.

Roman: The truth is that it doesn't matter whether or not I'm okay.

Janus: Yes, it does. I'm not sure why-

Roman: No, it doesn't. Don't you get it?! I have to be okay. I don't have a choice! I'm supposed to be their hero. Everyone thinks I'm so strong, well I'm not. I'm a weak coward. But the one thing being a coward has taught me is how to avoid my problems. How to just *snaps fingers* turn off my emotions. Place a glass screen between them and me. How to feel them without feeling them, like knowing something in the back of your mind without being aware of it

Janus: Because that sounds sooo healthy.

Roman: It's not. I know it's not. But I have no choice. I have to be their hero. I don't know how not to be. They never taught me how not to. It's all I ever was. It's all they ever expected from me. Whether they know it's what they expect or not, it has become my role. And if I don't do it, who will? Who will keep them safe? So what if it hurts? Life hurts. They hurt as well. They have their own problems, and I can help them with it. I have to. It's who I am.

Janus: *extremely concerned* Roman-

Roman: *continuing without notice* It's who I have to be. For them. I have to stay strong, even if I'm not. And I'm not. I'm really not. But I'm good at pretending. I saw they needed a hero, so I took that role. I didn't even realize I had taken the role at first. And now, now that I realize, it's my whole identity. It's the person I've become, the only value I have. It's all they know me as. And that's okay, because they need a hero.

Janus: That isn't okay. Listen-

Roman: I can be that hero. Their problems are worse, right? That's why they unintentionally forced me into this role. Because I dont have any major problems. So, who cares if I don't know how to fight for myself? I can fight for them. I'm their hero. I have to be.

Roman: *leaning on the wall, panting* It's who I am. It's my point of existence.

Janus: ... Oh, sweetheart. What have we done to you?

[lexivass]

Another thing that bothers me about Alicent's arc these last episodes and her desire to be free is that it could work as her finally realizing her life was shitty and wanting to run away, if she realized her life was shitty, hence she shouldn't try to justify herself.

When they make her praise Viserys despite abusing her while still clutching to the memory of Aemma, they're saying Alicent suffered but she's capable of forgiving. Which is not bad, and is actually a clear sign she probably doesn't realize she's been traumatized.

But when they try to shift Alicent's character into this woman who wants to be free of her chains, who realized she always tried to go by the book and that didn't work, they're pretty much painting her as this forever big loser not because she wants to be free, but because nothing changed about her character from the Alicent from the beginning!

Yes, she realized all that, but do you mean to tell the woman who's been hurting herself due to anxiety since God knows when and is probably filled with rage and grief opened her third eye and just wants to go away from that mess???

"I did what was expected of me; I resented you for making your choices, Rhaenyra; I want to go away and live like a normal person." They should've made her go apeshit, throw in Rhaenyra's face what happened to her and how Rhaenyra has no right to judge her, she should fight for Haelena AND Aegon and actually try to win this war because if not, what was the reason for all of this?? Did her grandson died for nothing? Did Aegon almost died for nothing? Someone said the writers were set on humiliating Alicent this entire season, now i see that's true.

EDIT: If I was Alicent and realized everything I did and sacrificed (my youth, me bearing children for a rotten old man, the girl I loved, my own children and grandchildren's safety) was for nothing the last thing I would want was to go away. She should want revenge now more than ever!!!!

[bietrofastimoff23]

what kills me the most about alicole is that they came to a conclusion (albeit erroneous) that killing a child was god's punishment for their sin and they couldn't think of anything better than to sin again, probably ...to kill someone else ???

p.s. reminder -> only three people are to blame for Jaehaerys' death: Daemon, Blood and Cheese.

[emrys-merlin]

i’m still mad how in the episode 5x07 none of the knights defend Merlin when Gwen puts him in jail. Seriously, none of the knights question it. Merlin was their BROTHER (season 5 is such a mess and many characters were OOC). But at least GWAINE is the one who came in the morning to get Merlin out of the jail (with Gaius of course).

There's no way that Gwaine believes in these accusations even for one second.

[all-pacas]

anyway a friend and i watched the cam/chase engagement episode last night and holy shiiiit it's so messy, i know it's messy but i rewatch and go CHASE. NO. RUNNNN

she ghosts him, and promises she has a super good reason for it when he asks, and asks him to trust her. chase, who has the self esteem of a sea sponge, agrees. she then continues to ghost him. chase says ok, i am getting legit upset by this, i need you to tell me what's going on now. cameron refuses. he dumps her ass.

cameron finds him and tells him: lol actually i was ghosting you because i found out you wanted to propose and i hated that :) FOR SOME REASON chase does not seem comforted to know the woman he wants to marry was so freaked out by this that she ghosted him!! weird!! cameron DOES NOT apologize. instead she says she's ready for him to propose now uwu. chase, who has a backbone made of wet tissue paper, is like you??? want me to propose??? after i dumped you???? for ghosting me???? cameron: yes :) AND THEN HE DOES???

[npdterzo]

⸝⸝

a short, probably poorly written SoapGhost fic!!

zombie soap and human ghost. set in a apocalyptic type world.

this isn't necessarily a ship fic , just Simon longing for Soap, and Soap is unfortunately a corpse he can't bring himself to love.

cw ; small details of decaying corpses. death + small implied death mention

keep in mind, im not good at writing fics. Its not my specialty and i don't do it often. so if the writing is shit balls im sorry.

And drag along his companion. Soap.

Simon woke up, the sun was still rising. He didn't know what time it was, couldn't even tell what day it was anymore. But did it really matter, it was all the same anyway. Wake up, eat, smoke for a few, and then try and find some survivors.

Soap growled. He sounded disgusting, the gurgling from saliva and the hiss-like voice of his. It used to be haunting, not anymore. Not to Simon.

Simon couldn't kill Soap, and he didn't want Price to do it for him at the time either. He muzzled Soap with some rope he had found, tied his arms like a prisoner too. Had a rope around his neck to drag him places and tie him to poles whenever it was needed.

He should kill that disgusting thing. For most people, it'd be so easy. One look into his bloodshot eyes, his decayed skin, exposed flesh and bone. It would have most people shooting him without a care in the world.

But Simon needed Johnny. Needed to find that damn cure, and needed to save him.

Simon looked over at his friend, once his crush but he couldn't even fall in love with the disgusting living corpse that looked across to him, wanting to consume his entire body. He fell in love with the memory of Johnny. Not whatever that creature in the corner of his hideout was.

Simon stood up, walking over to grab a cigarette from a small bowl. Almost out, he'd try to find more on his walks around the disheveled city.

No food, he had given the rest of his meat to Soap. And yet, Soap needed live human flesh. Only then would he be satisfied. It drove Simon mad to know Soap was starving, craving his flesh.

Stepping outside, Simon looked down from the balcony he had set up his home. The cities crawling with near dead zombies, skeletons too. The early rising of the sun hit his face, and his home.

Simon looked over at Johnny. Looked at his blue eyes as the sun hit him. Even now, a corpse, a disgusting monster, his eyes were ethereal. And Simon was again hit the that pang of sadness and longing for him. He wanted to hold him close, tell him to please calm down. But his smell, his decayed skin, his slobber it was too much for Ghost to handle and he hadn't touched Johnny since he had found him in this state.

That was a month ago. Price said he didn't want to live with someone like Johnny and he left. Simon hadn't heard from him since that.

Simon got poor Soap out of his designated area on the pole, trying to avoid his spit as Johnny grumbled and hissed.

"Shhh. Please, don't complain," Simon begged in a whisper. He was so gentle to Soap. He knew the zombie liked calmness rather than chaos.

He pulled Johnny over to the place he was standing before, outside where the sun still hadn't completely rose over the awful looking city.

Simon turned around, and just stared at the corpse. His open wounds, his mouth, the dried blood around it. His missing arm, which was in Ghosts bag for when he found the cure. So that doctors could reattach it.

"I have not given up on you, Johnny," Simon muttered. He leaned over the balcony again, smoking his cigarette.

Johnny grumbled a bit. He could not talk, but actions spoke louder than words. Despite his urge to bite and kill Simon for his own pleasure, he leaned against his back, groaning and drooling. Simon could feel it, and yet didn't care. He longed for his touch again.

He looked as the sun rose completely over this city, abandoned. He wasn't gonna give up on Johnny, and based on Soaps actions, he wasn't gonna give up on Simon either.

[dinkflocculent]

Hiraeth - Part One: Anamolous

This is something I wrote for fun. It hasn't been proofread or edited in any form. I don't like how it's written, but I need to train myself to be softer on my pieces. Enjoy!

Dark, cold, cramped...

The cage wasn't comfortable, but it has become a comfort for Caspian. When opened, the noises were loud, the lights were bright, and Master was never nice when he came to visit.

Humans weren't so welcoming to his kind.

His species hasn't fought or terrorized humanity in decades; roles were switched. Now they were rare, exotic pets humans showed off to their guests. He was about to become a pet to be looked at. His cage moved at every bump the carriage went over. It was a nuisance, but he didn't want it to stop. Humans who had a large amount of money to pay for him were never good-hearted.

He curled tighter into his ball, trying to get the thin, small blanket to cover his body. He closed his eyes, dreaming of a reality not ruled by humanity.

***

His ears stung at the loud, incoherent yelling of Salesman; Caspian will never understand why humans punch doors to open them. The cage constantly shuffled and slid. Was humans so weak they couldn't hold his cage containing his average form?

He heard the slow creaking of the door, and locks being unlocked. 

"Oh, it's here," his new master didn't have a rough, cruel tone. It was soft but had a hint of disappointment. 

"It'll be hard to train it. This one's pretty obedient but rarely shows his teeth."

"Pesikos doesn't need to buy creatures to become guard dogs!" he felt his cage be roughly handed, praying the blanket over the cage doesn't get taken off.

Salesman huffs, the sound of hooves carrying off. A door closes and his cage moves as the handler walks. He's set down on a hard surface.

He's inside his new master's home.

He scoots towards a corner of his cage, shaking with fright. What will Master use him for? By the anger in their tone responding to Salesman's remark, he's definitely not going to be put into any sick beast fighting rings. Will he be a pet? Is Master nice to pets, or will he be something he can use to let out his anger after a long day?

A key is inserted into the lock, the door creaking open. The light from the outside world makes his eyes sting, his body curls up as if his life depended on it. Maybe it did.

What will his purpose be in Master's house? Will he ever escape this place? Will he ever escape his cruel existence?

"The poor thing's so afraid. I've never seen a dratleon this skittish..."

A kind human voice, one that belonged to humans who were nice to his kind.

A female's voice.

[sing-you-fools]

i am on page 74 of this book. these two characters met on page 37. this character has had less than half the narration time since then. he has described the other character as "careless-flighty-negligent" FOUR TIMES NOW. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING FOUR TIMES NOT EVEN LIKE "ONE OF THESE WORDS"

I MEAN LITERALLY THAT IT SAYS "CARELESS-FLIGHTY-NEGLIGENT" WITH THE HYPHENS AND EVERYTHING ON THE ACTUAL PAGES OF THIS ACTUAL PROFESIONALLY PUBLISHED BOOK

OVER AND FUCKING OVER

[idv-hunger-games]

Idv 75th Hunger Games AU - Quarter Quell

Game master Yidrha

District 1 || Luxury Items:

- Edgar 💀🦋🏹 ⭐️

- Qi Shiyi 🪦🕊️🤝🥋🎋

District 2 || Weapons/Peacekeepers: ⭐️

- Emma 💀🦋🛠️

- Leo 💀🦋 🪚

District 3 || 🕊️ || Electronics:

- Luka 😍🕊️🤝 🪤🔋🔓

- Alva 💀🦚⚡️🔋⭐️

District 4 || 🕊️ || Fishing:

- Luchino 💀🦋🔪

- Jose 💀🦋⚔️

District 5 || Electricity/Power:

- Burke 💀🦋🪤

- Percy 💀🦋⚔️

District 6 || Transportation:

- Brother 1 💀🦋🧰

- Joker 💀🦋🧨

District 7 || 🕊️ || Lumber:

- Robby 💀🕊️🪓⭐️

- Ganji 💀🦋🏏

District 8 || 🕊️ || Textiles:

- Aesop 💀💀🦋🧪🔪🩹

- Michiko 😍 🕊️ 🔪🔪🌟

District 9 || Grain:

- Ann 💀🦋🔪

- Demi 💀 🕊️🤝 🪤🩹

District 10 || Livestock:

- Bane 💀🦋⛓️

- Kevin 💀🦋🔫

District 11 || 🕊️ || Agriculture:

- Patricia 💀🕊️🤝🗡️

- Alice 😍 🕊️🛡️🩹

District 12 || Coal:

- Norton 😍🦋🤝🔓⛏️🧲⭐️

- Naib 😵🕊️🤝🗡️🌟

THEME: Darkwoods/red church/lakeside maps

Least amount of people. Prone to acid rain, have to take shelter inside church or in the lakeside houses. No food available, only toxic fish in rivers. river is undrinkable.

Most secure building, safe from weather conditions. dark with little natural lighting. Where the cornucopia is. Rotton wood makes building fragile. Hard to navigate. Small.

Tsunami, lots more people, lots more resources, waves of mosquitoes

The full map together

Day 1:

- Alice goes to Lakeside, finds 2 day's worth of rations

- Luca grabs a plastic tarp and wire, flees to Darkwood River

- Alva follows Luca discreetly, and receives a club from the sponsors.

- Aesop stabs Ann to death while trying to fighting over a sleeping bag, then flees to Darkwood

- Kevin shoots Ganji while fighting over a revolver, then runs away to Darkwood River

- He meets Luca . Luca offers an alliance with Kevin, and Kevin accepts because of Luca’s reputation. They camp out by Darkwood River. LAK - Luca Alva Kevin

- Qi Shiyi fights Luchiano for a spear, Luchiano is injured and retreats

- Qi Shiyi flees to Lakeside

- Burke and Percy attack Norton, Norton injures Burke with a pickaxe and Naib saves Norton by killing Percy

- Bane saves Burke and they flee to Lakeside. BB - Bane Burke

- Michiko grabs rations and throwing knives and throws two at Norton. One misses, but Naib jumps in the way and is hit in the shoulder

- Michiko goes to the shack in Darkwoods

- Patricia calls them, Naib and Norton follow

- Norton is distrustful

- Patricia leads them to Lakeside cave, they form an alliance. RA - Rebel Alliance

- Edgar finds a bow and arrow and shoots Brother 1

- Emma and Leo kill Joker together

- Robby kills Jose with an axe (chops head off)

- Robby makes his way towards the shipwreck at Lakeside, and on the way receives 3 apples and 2 bottles of water in a satchel

- Edgar, Emma, Leo, and Luchiano form an alliance. They settle inside the church. C - Careers

- Demi runs away and stakes out nearby

- comes back in the middle of the night and steals a med kit from C

- DAY END: 6 DEAD; 2 INJURED; 18 TRIBUTES REMAINING

Day 2:

- Aesop over night camouflaged into the surroundings and has set up traps in Darkwood

- In cave Patricia early in the morning leaves RA cave to go find Luca for the RA

- On the way she runs into Qi Shiyi and tells her to meet RA at the cave and draws the rebellion symbol on her wrist to show Naib

- Norton is supper confused as to why Naib just trust all these other tributes but goes with it

- Emma and Leo go to Darkwoods to kill people and finds Kevin

- Kevin gets attacked by Emma

- Alva comes to save Kevin to get in on alliance (LAK)

- Emma barley escapes, but is wounded

- After, Emma and Leo are looking around Leo gets caught in one of Aesop’s traps

- Emma tries her best to get her father out but Aesop comes up from behind and Leo pushes her away

- She runs off and Aesop kills Leo takes his saw

- Emma reports back to C and insist that they go back to kill Aesop

- Emma goes crazy when they refuse to help her and attacks Edgar

- Edgar kills her

- Luka alone meets up with Patricia and discuss plan

- Alva coming back with Kevin overhears them planning against the capital

- Luca sends Patricia away and promises to meet up later

- Kevin introduces Alva and Luka doesn’t tryst

- Robbie from a distance sees Burke and Bane coming his way and hides

- BB goes to the ship to rest

- Robbie attacks Bane, but a tsunami hits the ship

- Bane and Burke die; Robbie survives but is injured

- Naib, Norton and Qi Shiyi stuck in the cave as it floods, the entrance collapsed

- They start digging at the rocks to create a small opening. Naib gets through first and helps pull Qi Shiyi out. Norton almost gets out but gets swept up my the current.

- They find him after and Naib gives him mouth to mouth to revive him/ publicity

- Alva “prepares” the fish for Luka and Kevin

- Luka sees that Alva isn't eating the fish so throws it out when they aren't looking

- Kevin eats the fish and dies

- Luca confronts Alva, Alva reveals he knows about the rebel's plan (implied, not directly said) and threatens to inform the Capitol is Luka doesn't help Alva

- Luca garrotes him out with his wire

- DAY END: 12 DEAD; 4 INJURED; 12 TRIBUTES REMAINING;

Day 3: end

- x

Things that have to happen

* Edgar finds Demi passed out and kills her

* Patricia kills Edgar

- Luchino bit my poisonous snakes

- Luchino steals Robbie’s medicine

- Robbie fights him for it and kills luchino

- Too late, Robbie died from infection got no medicine

* Luchino comes back as a morphed lizard monster (based on dogs)

- Patty and qi xi Yi met up and cry about Demi

- Luchino comes

- They try to fight but patty doesn’t make it and anti is devastated cause patty sacrifices herself

* Aesop tried to caflaughe found a next of fire ants and then ran into acid water

While most of this is happening

* Luca meets up with RA and talks with them

- naib and qishiyi talk with Luca about how to get out (norton sleeping after almost drowning)

- Patricia somehow bird signals and qishiyi goes to support and leaves RA

* When Norton wakes up naib tells him that they have a plan to get out of here

- Norton is skeptical but it’s the only way

- Luca explains that there are secret exit gates in case of emergencies which they would try to decode or break

- Luca thinks he only needs a wire but little does he know he’s missing a crucial piece (a magnet)

- They go the direction which Luca thinks the exit gate is

* As they find the gate Luca is trying really hard but it’s just not unlocking

- While naib and Norton try to scout out things they see qishiyi running panicked

- Luchino hot on her ass and running their way

- Naib sees first and warns Norton but waits to help qishiyi (he tries but it only does so much)

- Luchino switches targets and then jumps after Norton and Luca

- In desperation invade Luca would get out he throws the token Mikey gave him in the 74th

- Surprise it’s a magnet!!! And just in the nick of time they open the gate

- Luca in desperation tries to use the wire and the fried exit gate to shock luchino

- This allows qishiyi and naib to get out as well

* It’s a 4 man escape but whose on the other side Yidrha (maybe her girl)

- Norton is crushed and thinks it was all for nothing but then she says she’s ganna help and everyone but him is chill

[ask-the-toy-box]

You broke her. Don't get mad at me, they wrote the comic that way.

[secretgamergirl]

StarCraft 2's story- Good or garbage?

I'm kind of lurking in the discord of a new RTS that's running a kickstarter right now. I don't know how strongly I want to endorse that because while what they have in the can looks darn good in terms of mechanics and gameplay polish and the people involved seem generally cool, I don't think anything at all is really pinned down otherwise. At the very least though it looks very "I'll make my own StarCraft 2! With blackjack! And hookers!" and I'm down for a game with that flavor of mechanics doing well when made by anyone other than, you know, Blizzard.

It's impossible not to draw comparisons when a game is pretty nakedly marketing itself as "we want to divorce the things we like about this one game from the monsters who made it" of course, and so now I'm thinking about just how powerfully terrible the writing was in StarCraft 2, but I'm not going to go off about it in some poor people who I don't know even have a writer yet's forums. I'm gonna ramble about it on my blog.

Now there's two ways to look at this one. We can look at the story of this game on its own, in a vacuum, or we can look at it as a continuation of the story of StarCraft. It's terrible by either standard, but let's start by looking at it as a continuation first.

Now, I'm not going to jump in here and just slap you with a novella long list of all the flagrant plot holes, direct contradictions, and unrecognizable characters if you actually go through these beat for beat. I've done so in the past. Might have done so on this blog. I mean when StarCraft 2 came out I was absolutely insufferable to everyone around me shouting about these things. Like... I don't even know how you can drop so many balls like that. Maybe they were doing that thing where they didn't even glance at the source material and were just poking around some fan wiki populated with random crap from tie-in novels and comics by people who were just going off on their own things... I do always have to mention though that whether by intent or incompetence they seem to have totally dropped the expansion's story from the canon, at least before 2's expansions came along years later.

But no, I want to focus on just basic themes and character arcs here. So the original base game of StarCraft breaks its story into three arcs, each from the POV of a character from one of the three playable factions in the game. This isn't the greatest structure for maintaining narrative cohesion throughout, especially when one of those factions is the communal hive mind of a big swarm of space bugs who at the end of the day just want to eat everything. And if I'm being brutally honest, there isn't a whole lot to write home about in the back third either. They kinda slipped back into old habits there and it's kinda just the sort of stock fantasy story you tend to get with games. Decadent ancient space elf empire ignores a big obvious problem due to hubris and a frankly incompetent leader, turns out their ancient traditions and prejudices are total BS, go quest for some magic rocks, have your big grand final battle where the hero self-sacrifices to blow up the monsters.

That first third though, and some threads that carry through the rest, have some good stuff going on. We've got a newly appointed magistrate (the unseen unvoiced player) and marshall (Jimmy) on some backwoodsy wild west sort of planet. They're pretty young and idealistic. Space bugs attack, they try to help, trying to help gets them in trouble with their higher ups who don't really buy the seriousness of this space bug invasion. Desperate for anyone to help fight the good fight, they fall in with a fringe militant cult leader (Mengsk) and his right-hand gal (Kerrigan) who he busted out of some government psychic supersoldier program. Jimmy immediately crushes on her, she doesn't reciprocate.

The gang goes along with all of Mengsk's plans, overthrowing the government to gain control of their armies and psychic experimentation programs to deal with these space bugs, and the level of moral compromise this involves gradually ratchets up until everyone finds themselves complicit in Mengsk killing the whole civilian population of the capital by having Kerrigan set up a psychic murderbug attractor and nobody bother's to evacuate her afterwards.

The other two realize they made a really bad choice of who to throw in with, smash up some major military hardware in the process of bailing on Mengsk as he's setting himself up as dictator for life, and eventually throw their lot in with the protagonists in the third arc, just kinda helping out while they do the whole deal of defying the orders of the ancient space elf council, learning the magic arts of the misunderstood outcasts, flying a big spaceship into the main brain controlling the space bugs. Kerrigan meanwhile gets converted into a space bug/human hybrid super soldier which... honestly feels like it's setting stuff up for a big showdown that just kinda never happens.

Still, we've got characters, they've got arcs. Mostly we have Jimmy (and the silent player character) learning the hard way that long-established power structures tend to be too inflexible to be helpful, and you should never trust anyone openly seeking personal power because they will just exploit everyone around them. It all even roughly follows the classic 3 act structure (and I mean, there's literally 3 acts mapping to that too, just that act 2 is all shown from a villain's perspective). In other media, this is sort of just the bare minimum, but games rarely bother with characters growing, changing, or having real setbacks that make them question things along their way.

This was followed up with the expansion, Brood War, which mirrors that same structure. One long story arc for each of three playable factions. Space elves largely doing standard fantasy beats, middle third switching to a villainous POV so radically different the main narrative gets largely put on hold, and some really good stuff with threads stretching through the whole thing.

Here the villain interlude is that it turns out Earth in this setting is run by full-on fascists, they caught wind of everything going on in this region where there'd previously been a big rebellion, and swing back in to clamp down again. They don't interact with the actual protagonists much (generally, they see the space nazis sweeping in and run off to lay low), so we mostly just have them swooping in and quickly mopping up Mengsk's little newfound dictatorship, with the actual story being the relationship dynamic between the guy in charge (DuGalle), his right hand man he's known forever (Stukov), and a local rebel welcoming them with open arms (Duran). Long story short, Duran's actually a double agent and very gradually pits the other two against each other. DuGalle eventually has Duran kill Stukov thinking he stabbed him in the back, realizes that's dumb, ultimately fails at his whole invasion, and in the epilogue kills himself, which if you read the relevant bit of my FF14 summaries, you know is how I like my stories about clear nazi analogues to end.

In the main narrative though, we pick right back up from the big heroic sacrifice with the bummer of a reveal that killing the primary brain of the psychic space bug collective didn't really get the job done, because some of its secondary brains (refreshingly not a concept pulled out of nowhere, these were firmly established to serve the dual purposes of having clear military targets for a giant pile of bugs, and a way to actually have enough characters for dialog exchanges in that third of the story) are trying to put the band back together. In their current disorganized state though, Kerrigan is no longer a semi-autonomous corrupted bug minion, but totally has her free will and sense of self restored, while still being all chitinous and at least somewhat capable of commanding the other bugs.

So as the whole expansion plays out, and the perspective shifts from the space elves doing some real desperate migration and defense because the plan to save their home world from the big bug invasion ultimately failed, through the nazi invasion, and ultimately to the POV of the secondary bug-brain you'd previously played as who'd been buggified Kerrigan's baby sitter essentially, now forced into taking orders from her, we are mostly dealing with this big hanging question of whether she's really good and trustworthy again, or secretly still under bug control, or if she's good for now but any minute that hivemind could properly come back online and take her over again. And of course, Jimmy's all angsty and pining because he never got over that one-sided crush.

While there's plenty of red flags about her being trustworthy over the course of things, the narrative actually manages to play things close to the chest well enough for the ultimate reveal to be a pretty fun twist. She absolutely 100% is fundamentally herself again, it's just that for a series of mostly pretty well-justified reasons, she absolutely hates every other character in the story. Either they've been trying to kill her, they abused and manipulated her, or they've totally objectified her. Or they're nazis who just showed up, who you don't really need a personal reason to want to kill, but just for good measure they're trying to revive and mind control the central bug mind, so, yeah, that's a threat. So at the last minute the whole thing just reveals itself as a big elaborate revenge story with a fairly strongly gendered theme about being denied agency and being othered, where the actually quite clear-headed just ruthless girl wins.

And then, a decade later, we get StarCraft 2. And what's the main narrative of StarCraft 2? We spend the whole time focused on Jimmy, who has somehow gone from this young idealistic biker/space cowboy with thinning hair, talking like a hippie and bouncing around getting in way over his head trying to rescue people from space bugs by just lending a hand to whoever else seems interested in doing that and crushing on this girl Kerrigan who couldn't be clearer about not liking him back to uh... some sort of gruff jaded old former military general with a bunch of old war buddies, a drinking problem, and a full head of hair, cruising around on his big personal battleship saving various worlds from the big space bug threat pretty much singlehandedly, and hoping to rescue his love interest Kerrigan from space bug mind control, with the help of some kind of prophesied magic space rocks you can build a big totem out of. It even completely de-buggifies her in the end, leaving a helpless little naked girl to chivalrously scoop off the ground and carry to safety. P.S. She's white now.

This isn't like, "oh whoops, we forgot the main character lost one of his boots at the end of last season" nitpicking. This is doing complete 180s on the character arcs and backstories of the central characters here. Kerrigan not needing to be rescued from zerg corruption is the ENTIRE point of Brood War's story. Which also establishes there's no longer really a zerg threat of any sort beyond what she personally wants to tell her mindless bug pals to do. And really, even if you want to de-canonize all of that for whatever reason, tacking a "hero saves the girl" ending onto the story we had in the base game of the original StarCraft still just does not work. You're taking a story whose whole theme is "putting faith in the wrong sort of person has serious consequences" and then turning around and going "actually no it doesn't."

And you know, speaking of Mengsk, it's a much lesser point, but StarCraft 2 depicts him like he's some sort of grandiose emperor from some ancient dynasty. Big imperial palace, little silver spoon in his mouth prince of a son who wants to break from his family's legacy, the whole nine yards. Again, this both fundamentally misunderstands his part in the whole central narrative, and everything that happened to him in the expansion (where not very long at all after his big power grab the UED showed up and completely took him apart, and would have executed him but Kerrigan prolonged that to watch him squirm). And when did he have this kid of his? With who? And where is Jimmy getting all these war buddies? He didn't have'em at the start of things or he wouldn't have had to join up with Mengsk. And his war buddies from that war would just be the magistrate and the surviving protoss characters who act like they barely know him here.

So, no. This does not hold up at all as a continuation. How about if we just look at it in a vacuum then?

Nope, still bad. It leans heavily on a backstory we don't get to see. And I don't mean we're missing a ton of StarCraft 1 flashbacks. I mean, we have all these "old buddy" characters, especially Tychus, but we don't get into how they became friends or do anything to show how they still are, so there's no real emotional stakes to where that ends up going. We start with him drinking his life away in a bar over how he misses this apparent old girlfriend, but we never get into the history between them and even the depressed drinking never comes up again past that shot. We vaguely establish some bitter history with this Mengsk guy, but that never really leads anywhere at all. We just kinda have these various vague and generic handwaves at Standard Protagonist Backstory Stuff. Then we actually dive into things, and it's this very episodic affair where you just hop around from planet to planet either showing up to rescue people or showing up to collect a magic rock to help build the magic Toblerone that cures being half-space-bug. And I mean, I already covered how this sort of simplistic no tension, hero always wins, collect all the treasures for victory sort of narrative is the general baseline for game writing, but other people have been trying to move things forward the last couple decades and this is just sitting at the starting line with a princess to rescue.

Now to be fair, the original StarCraft absolutely also had questing around for magic rocks. The protoss have a totally magic rock based electrical grid, the overmind wanted to eat their special magic rocks to make them more vulnerable, the last protoss mission even had a big ancient temple that did an energy blast, but that one just killed all life on the planet outside of its immediate vicinity, which feels like a more grounded thing for an ancient alien artifact to do than... vaporize/purify space bugs and leave everything else alone. And it wasn't scattered in little bits everywhere.

And then of course there's the expansions to StarCraft 2... well the good thing here is they're so divorced from anything in the original game, and even from the base game of StarCraft 2 that you don't have to worry about them messing with the legacy. I mean, OK, Heart of the Swarm has this whole weird reset where we have Kerrigan mostly human again, just so she can go on a big spirit journey and bug herself up again, so that she's strong enough for her ultimate goal of... showing up to take down Mengsk... again. And you somehow end up with a zergified version of Stukov which... OK that's just the weirdest possible way to double back and recanonize that expansion. I'm not sure that Kerrigan and Stukov were ever even really aware of each other's existence, and he died to a bullet through the head in a military base with no zerg anywhere near it. I mean, unless you remember that Duran was a double agent working for Kerrigan. Except the thing there is if you know the plot of the secret epilogue mission you'd know he was ACTUALLY one of the secret ancient aliens who created both the protoss and the zerg just pretending to a horrible bug monster spy for Kerrigan, in turn pretending to be a normal human. And that's a pretty obscure detail I'd forgive someone for missing except that literally in the mission where you're playing as Zerg-Stukov, the whole reason you're playing as Zerg-Stukov is that Kerrigan is busy doing one of those things where the two wizards fire big energy blasts at each other like some kind of tug-of-war with weird phallic overtones, and the big energy phallus she's trying to squish back is FROM Duran, in his revealed-himself-to-be-that-whole-mess glory. They remembered one thing only to get it wrong basically.

But yeah, otherwise that one's just so wild a departure I don't even know what to say. There's just... named zerg characters? They're all like bug centaurs? Because we need people to talk to and they just totally forgot they had cerebrates to get around that problem? Instead of the ancient ancestral zerg being like, psychic ringworms gradually specializing their hosts over generations, here they're like... talking dinosaur puppies who steal each other's "essence" to get huge? Past a point there's so little resemblance to the source material that I can't even be mad. And then the protoss expansion just kinda decides that the whole casting the dark templar out of their society over irreconcilable religious differences is something they've actually done like... 3 or 4 times? So we've got the outcast invisible jedi and the outcast robots and the outcast Darth Vader wannabes with some sort of society-wide ordered queue where there's exactly one person directly ahead of everyone they're allowed to kill to move up in the world. Oh and we're claiming this one robot centaur is Fenix somehow. Despite Fenix being very dead, and this robot centaur neither having that goofy muppet-y orc voice nor the overwhelmingly positive attitude. And he also somehow doesn't notice that he's a robot centaur and not a guy in a life support pod inside a robot spider. They also expect us to believe this little naked twink turned into this pile of steroids and shoulderpads somehow:

Oh! I almost forgot but also there's this thing called the Khala and it's unambiguously this set of religious teachings defining a caste system and such... but then here someone watched Avatar so we're retconning that into some sort of psychic spiritual network you connect to through your hair. You don't plug your hair in though it's just like a wifi antenna. Also it only works if you're part of the main society that keeps throwing other people out none of these other people have hair wifi. Also like the entire deal here is that protoss just are not psychic, it's their one flaw. There's this whole thing with them representing physical perfection but being held back by being a bunch of very religious idiots, while the zerg are mentally perfect what with the hive mind but physically just, like, a ringworm, so the ultimate life form their creators really wanted to create requires the zerg to take over the protoss, or just going screw it and hybridizing the two in a lab. Again, this is one of those really obscure details, it only comes up in the weird backstory in the manual that doesn't even get touched on in the game outside the one secret mission in the expansion... but here we have the same scene both acknowledging that deep lore and totally contradicting it.

But yeah, taken as their own independent stories... well... what stories? Kerrigan wants to be a big buff bug lady so she can depose a jerk she already deposed, and she does that. There are no complications or twists along the way. "Artanis" has to go collect all the protoss the in-group don't count as people, because Satan got into their hair wifi and anyone who didn't just get a haircut turned evil. So he goes and does that. Again, no complications of any sort along the way. Also no real ideological conflicts.

The deal with the robot protoss is some idiots went "hey what if we took all of our greatest most celebrated heroes and we copied their minds into robots in their entirety" and then got super confused that they still, you know, want to be treated as people with rights and such and not just mindless robots. So, you know, simple fix there. Then the... actually just evil ones are... lead by John DeLancey. Everyone likes him. So, problem resolved? And the dark templar are already befriended from before, so nothing's needed there besides going to their homeworld to pick them up. Their uh.... home world everyone already evacuated to and then that was compromised and their leader was replaced with puppet and then everyone maybe died? But yeah they're fine.

So then after all the racism is solved forever by just... deciding not to do that anymore, Kerrigan jumps in some kind of magic pool to transform into a giant naked golden angel, and she does this to become the embodiment of purity of essence we apparently need (which also purges all zerg-ness I guess?) and... look there's no easy way to say this. It turns into Homestuck. That whole convoluted thing from Homestuck where there's this eternal cycle of universes being created by light and dark themed people teaming up to create the next one and in theory kind of operate as it's gods but not if they don't feel like it... we're just ripping all that off wholesale for this complete asspull of an ending. And then everyone shoots space satan in the face. He's a big squid. And then Kerrigan turns back into a normal human girl so she can go on a date with Jimmy. Oh and then there's a third expansion recycling the scrapped plot from that action game they were going to do back on the N64 or whatever but I learned how awful the company was before getting curious enough on that one.

It's just bad. Even by game writing standards, it's bad. And I didn't even get into how bad it is with women in particular. We've got the big doe-eyed scientist who needs to be rescued from the scary bugs and then oh no it turns out she got bit by a bug and now she's turning into one and has to be put down (and no, this has never been how that worked). Then we've got Kerrigan who aside from needing rescuing and purifying and coming out naked has this whole expansion to herself where in theory she's totally in charge and self-directing every decision, but every time you click anywhere the confirmation is just her getting all pouty and whiny? Like a toddler you're telling to put shoes on so you can go to the doctor or something? Like, is it just me? Is it the direction? Is it the voice filter? Was the actress just miserable in the recording booth?

Then she's got this little bug girl assistant who hangs down from the ceiling, kinda like the adjutant from the original StarCraft, but instead of being all detatched and robotic she's all uwu pwecious? And the protoss campaign just kinda keeps turning women into mouthpieces for Satan. It's... a whole thing.

So yeah, badly written stories all throughout, no matter how you slice it. No continuity, no consistency, no character arcs or tension, just be the big cool action hero, do some getting the band back together stuff, collect some magic rocks and ritual circles, purify this girl here with the big magic circle (3 times no less) and then whatever there's space Satan. It's a mess... did I even have a larger point with this?

Probably not, but it was entertaining I hope? Maybe throw a little cash my way?

[catsdrinkmocha]

I had to find some way to deal with my Malleus brain rot and here it is "I'll always love you"

1) This was cross posted on ao3 2) Forgive me if this is terrible but its literally 4/bout to be 5 a.m. rn so I'm blaming it on my not getting any sleep --------------------------------------------------- "Tsunotaro? What's wrong? Did something happen?" Yuu asked as the dragon fae nuzzled deeper to the crook of their neck. Yuu could feel what they guess was a little smile bloom onto their neck from the nickname they insisted on using. It was hard to see his face as Yuu's back was on his chest so it was mainly just an assumption.

Malleus replied but, whatever he said was lost in a sea of his mumbling as he held onto Yuu's waist tighter with one hand and held Yuu's hand with his other. It's not like Yuu would mind more attention from their boyfriend but he was acting strange. 

When Malleus had entered Ramshackle dorm, like he always did when he knew Yuu was home, he had greeted them half heartily and he couldn't even muster a smile like he usually did with his lover. In fact Malleus had sat on a completely different couch instead of immediately sitting with Yuu like he normally did. Malleus took every chance he could to get the prefect's affection so why now was he being so wary of them?

Malleus pouted but it wasn't the annoyed cute pout he did... It was in an almost sad way. He didn't look particularly upset with Yuu so, maybe something had happened during class? 

It had taken a good amount of coaxing just to get him curled up around the prefect like he was now. Yuu couldn't help but be worried about their partner and how quiet they've been. Malleus was always a quiet guy sure but never this quiet. Especially around Yuu!

Since Yuu's back was on Malleus' chest they did the next best thing. Gently, so he wouldn't be startled by the sudden movement, Yuu lifted their hands that were interlock with the others and brought it to their lips.

They left feather like kisses on Malleus' hand as he looked up with curiosity at what they were doing. Now that they've gotten his attention they turned themselves around to look at him.

"Is something bothering you? Or someone? Because if someone's bothering you know I won't hesitate to-" Yuu started only to get cut off by a deep chuckle that sent the good kind of shivers down their spine every time they heard it.

Malleus had been amused at how quickly his lover was to declare their worries for him. Yuu wasn't a violent person unless truly aggravated. To know they'd fight for him, no matter how much he'd certainly discourage it, made him fell warm inside. He felt safe and reassured that his worries were all part of his head messing with him.

"My dear there is nothing to worry about. It's just some insignificant thoughts I had putting a damper in my mood."

"Well what were you thinking about that made you this upset? You could barely look at me when you'd walk in. I was starting to think I did something," Yuu chuckled a little finishing off their sentence.

"You'd never do anything wrong," Malleus quickly reassured them that it wasn't their doing, "It was simply me over thinking. I just... I just guess I was scared when I thought you didn't want to spend you lunch with me. I was worried you were growing tried of me, or scared. There are so many things said about me that I wouldn't blame you if you've become wary of me. I wouldn't blame you if you'd leave me out of fear... because to everyone I'm a dangerous monster. That's all I'll ever be to anyone..." 

Malleus never thought that he could lay all his insecurities out in the open so easily but with Yuu it was almost too easy how they made him spill his thoughts.

"You're no monster. You're my beautifully majestic Tsunotaro," They booped his noise catching him off guard, "Who has all these things people seem to fear about him, from his horns to his scales he likes to keep tucked away, " Their fingers lifted part of his sleeve up to reveal dazzling obsidian scales, "It's really all just small pieces that make up my beautiful fae. Things I simply adore about him!"

He just stared at them as he tried to compose his thoughts. They like his scales! And his horns! Yuu had even referred to Malleus as their beautiful fae. He couldn't be happier. He gave a small peck to their forehead before laying his forehead on theirs.

"And me? Scared of you? I've been through five overblots! You're like a kitten who's always curled up in my lap compared to that! You couldn't get rid of me if you tried prying me off of you," they laughed heartily.

"Splendid because I have no intentions of letting you go," Malleus stated proudly with a hand on his chest. As he finished his words Yuu tenderly cups his cheek in their hand, which he instinctively leaning into, allowing himself to close his eyes and relax in the company of his lover.

Yuu had murmured something that if he were not a fae would have been impossible to hear.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't want to hang out with you. I was in a hurry. But, remember this ok? No matter what I'll always love you!"

[bacchicly]

worst smutty sentence I have ever written below the cut...the cutting room floor is calling...

 and wooosh his semen pulses and gushes out of his flared body into hers - propelling his rockets of DNA fast and deep into the microscopic obstacle course that is the last bastion of survival of the fittest.

[benslerandolitzlove]

Ughhh I’m just now watching last nights episode and is it just me or is the writing for SVU just terrible and cringy at this point!