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wilteddreamsofbaldursgate · 8 months

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I’m a fierce believer and defender of Smooth Brain Astarion (affectionate).

I love that, if left to his own devices, he ends up dead in a ditch. I love that this pasty menace of an elf is a walking disaster. I love that his brain produces one coherent thought per day, only to have it backfire on him later on. I love that his first choice in freedom is to unapologetically be the worst version of himself. Because it makes sense.

That’s what abuse and trauma do to your brain—they fuck with it.

And in Astarion’s defence, the man didn’t have to use his brain for nearly 200 years—it’s probably the very thing that kept him as alive as he can be; to survive 200 years of pure shit.

And what use is his brain when his days and nights are dictated by someone else for as long as he can remember? When he has no say in what clothes he wears. When he doesn’t get to choose what or when to eat. When his body and mind aren’t his own, distorted by torture and hunger and self-loathing, forced to obey his vampiric master. Why use his brain when his survival depends exclusively on his abuser’s whims?

Astarion could’ve come up with the most brilliant plan possible to escape Cazador or save a mark from their doom, but he never stood a chance of succeeding—which doesn’t mean that he didn’t get punished for trying (or even thinking about it) anyway.

Existing under Cazador was a game he couldn’t win, so why bother playing?

And it’s only by chance that Astarion’s autonomy is returned to him literally overnight. It’s only natural that he’s overwhelmed by his newfound freedom. How is he expected to make sound decisions when he can’t even recall a time when he could do and say as he pleased?

Of course Astarion is a walking disaster when he finds himself on that beach after the Nautiloid crash—and he’s fully aware of that! That’s why it’s so crucial for him to get on the player’s/other companion’s good side.

He’s self-aware enough to be so insecure about himself that he would rather trust a stranger’s capabilities than his own.

Being a catastrophe of a person is part of Astarion’s character journey. Not only does he have to reclaim his personhood, he has to learn how to depend on his own brain again and I think that's such a painfully beautiful, important message Baldur’s Gate 3 sends.

Because healing isn’t pretty. Nor is it easy.

You’re not alright the moment you’re free of whatever horrors you had to live through—and that’s ok! There’s time and room for you to adjust.

And the moment Astarion feels more or less safe within his new environment, when he’s fed and treated like a person worthy of respect and consideration, his insights, skills and perception are crucial assets to the group.

Astarion knows his art and literature, and although his little remarks are unhinged at times, he's genuinely witty. Even his objections are, considering the circumstances, absolutely legitimate.

Personally, I love seeing Smooth Brain Astarion become more and more secure in his judgement the more Tav/other companions trust and support him.

Astarion is smart, his brain’s just been stewed for nearly 200 years.

#baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #baldur’s gate iii #astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #astarion headcanons #smooth brain astarion I will defend you until you can do it yourself #trauma can give you literal brain damage #of course he's a little eccentric #tw: trauma #tw: abuse #smooth brain astarion

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dolicekiss · 3 months

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Hello there,

If ur still taking Hannibal requests, could you potentially do a yandete Hannibal x reader (one-shot or headcanon it doesn't really matter) where the reader is an author who recently just came put with a new novel that got alot of popularity.

The reason it intrigued Hannibal so much is that the antagonist of the novel is based off the Chesapeake Ripper. Feeling flattered, Hannibal goes to one of her book signings, where he finds her absolutely captivating in person. What extents would this man do to get her attention?

♡: can i just say how descriptive some of y'all are with this.. this is literally book worthy 😭 also let me know if you want another part :[

Blood Ink

PAIRING: Yandere!Hannibal Lecter X Author!reader

CONTENT WARNING: dark hannibal, implied stalking, murder, mention of dead body, yandere behavior, unhinged hannibal, breaking in, leaving creepy little notes, obsessed hannibal

SYNOPSIS: Your book had gained immense popularity and you were quite the talk of the city, showing up in every article and news but capturing Hannibal Lecter’s attention was the worst thing ever, especially when you'd written an antagonist based off the Chesapeake ripper. Hannibal was flattered and in awe of how to I described him and his curiosity grew but so did his infatuation with you when he saw you.

Hannibal was flattered.

Completely amused by how you wrote depiction of him, how well you understood him despite never crossing paths.

Your abundance of understanding when it came to the mind of the killer was not only something he swooned over but how beautifully you wrote down all his murders impressed him, like they were pieces of art. It nearly worked to arouse him in a sense he craved to see you.

They were art, indeed.

Hannibal saw it that way, he saw beauty where most people saw something monstrous, something atrocious. You understood that and Hannibal had to meet you.

You'd written a book about him, a well written — descriptive book, showing off your skills of a true writer. A fan of literature he was and you had caught yourself the worst kind of attention.

The Chesapeake Ripper’s.

He had to meet you, had to see who this woman was who'd written such gruesome details about his murders. The book also included some fictional content, such as the Chesapeake Ripper committing crimes he'd never committed in the real world.

But Hannibal knew you'd included that only to add depth to him, to help the readers understand the beautiful cruelty of Hannibal Lecter.

After spending multiple hours on the internet and reading tabloids about you, watching your interviews, reading articles regarding your personal life and your work life, Hannibal finally made the decision to visit you at one of your book signings.

Your book was controversial, as many people accused you of using a serial killer as an antagonist in your book, giving him a rise in fame but it was never mentioned the book was about the Chesapeake Ripper at all. Only the antagonist had been based off him.

Hannibal was restless, so he grabbed his coat and left for your book signing which took place at a well known book store, in Baltimore too.

You were so close to him.

This had to be fate playing its game.

When Hannibal entered into the crowded book store, there you were. A huge smile decorated your features as you moved your lips to engage in a conversation with one of your fans. Hair up in a neat french bun, only a few strands framing your face — nails freshly done and sharp, resting against your soft beautifully sculpted face.

You were absolutely breathtaking.

Hannibal had seen your picture but the electronic devices did no justice to your beauty.

Hannibal felt his heart give birth to a foreign sensation, spreading through his chest and mixing in with the veins in his body. The copper and the darkness becoming one. He was completely captivated by the mere sight of you and he hadn't even introduced himself yet.

You let out a cheery laugh, nodding your head at the person in front of you before lowering your gaze, fingers holding a marker tightly to sign on the first page of your book. Hannibal analyzed closely, how swiftly your fingers moved and how beautiful they were.

He, for a split moment, imagined them decorated on a plate with vegetables.

Hannibal inhaled a deep breath, a futile attempt to regain his composure that he was beginning to lose control over at the mere sight of you.

You were a sweetheart, from how you interacted with your fans and how full of life you seemed. Deep inside his heart he hoped that you were just the same on the inside too.

Hand clasped around your book, he walked into the line. Awaiting for the people in front of him to get their books signed. He was a patient man but right now, his restlessness almost made him want to crush through the people and get to you.

Finally when his turn arrived, Hannibal slid the book over to you on the beige table. You greeted him with that gleaming smile of yours, bright enough to light up the whole room and the darkness which had bloomed in his chest when he was only a little boy.

Hannibal wasn't aware that catching a whiff of you would consume him like this but here he was, struggling to keep himself from tipping over the edge. Your scent reminded him of flowers, a fluorescent garden with bright sun rays cascading down upon it. Giving it light and life. Growing drunk on it.

His nostrils flared, inhaling more of the sweet perfume you'd adorned yourself with like some obsessed puppy. God, he was fucking dizzy over how sugary you smelled and the man couldn't get enough of it. Like old restored wine, he craved to drown you down and savor you against his tongue.

“Beautiful writing skills you've got.” Hannibal complimented with a gentle smile. Your cheeks heated up, switching to a shade of rosette.

Your eyes sparkled. “Thank you. I guess you could say I put my soul into writing this book.”

Well you just dug yourself a deeper hole than you were in before by saying that. Hannibal’s heart fluttered at your words. You'd invested your soul into writing about him, him only and that fact made him feel like he was on cloud nine.

His smile lines deepened, watching as you reached for the book and flipped it open. Fingers tightly enveloping the marker between them, you scribbled your signature on the white paper along with your initials.

“You must have a really beautiful soul then.” Hannibal said and you swallowed. His politeness and his charm worked in mysterious ways to pull you towards him but Hannibal knew just by approaching you as a fan — which he was, wouldn't really work.

He had to do more to gain your attention, your full focus.

You slid his book back over to him and Hannibal nodded, picking it up. “It was a pleasure seeing you in person. Do you mind if I ask you a question, miss?”

You raised a brow but then slowly nodded.

Hannibal’s lips curved up. “Do you believe that the Chesapeake Ripper might read this book one day?”

Your brows furrowed. Hannibal’s question was peculiarly interesting, different than the questions others had for you. Fans excited to know about the inspiration behind the book, some aching to know where you'd come up with the sinister plot. But none like this.

Hannibal’s question had crossed your mind on multiple occasions.

“Maybe but if he does, I would be interested in knowing his opinion on the book.” You responded truthfully.

That was all Hannibal needed. He stared at you, with a longing foreign to you and then he nodded. You watched him walk out of the book store as your gaze clung to him. Something inside you told you this wouldn't be the first time you'd see this man.

You shook your head and signed the rest of the books, answering all the curious questions about your books and then leaving when the event had ended. It had gotten late and you swung your leather bag over your shoulder, heels clicking against the road when you crossed it to head to your car.

The night was dark and quiet — peace tainting spreading to corner, only the sound of crickets chatting could be heard along with the clicking of your pencil heels echoing in the vast space.

Before you could enter your car, a piece of paper stuck to the front glass of your car caught your attention. With a bemused expression on your face, you reached for it and ripped the sticky note off the glass.

As your gaze ran over the content of it, your hands began to tremble.

An absolute beauty you are. You have captured my mind, heart and soul with your enthralling words. Be careful, my Dearest.

You blinked, head immediately snapping up and gaze flickering all over the area you were in. Hoping you'd find someone who left this note but you were all alone, a deep silence greeting you. Panic filled you but your brain provided you with some reassurance.

A note left by a fan.

Maybe an admirer of your writing.

That had to be it.

Of course that was it. You released a nervous laugh, shaking your head. “Calm down, it's probably nothing.”

You took the note in your hand and got into your car, twisting the key into ignition and driving off to your house. On your way home, your mind kept repeating the words written in beautiful calligraphy over the paper. The twists of each letter — as if love had been poured into it.

You let out a breath, hoping that along with the run rising tomorrow you'd forget about this.

You preferred solitude and peace, not fond of the city so the area you lived in was quitw distant and overall stayed underneath complete silence. Cold breeze caressed your face as you drove by and when you finally reached home, you stepped out of the car with the intention to hit the bed.

Your arm throbbed from the amount of books you'd signed but you loved it. You loved writing down your thoughts, different plot lines. Invention of different characters was your coping mechanism.

You didn't know that when the next day you'd wake up, a horrible news would be awaiting you.

— ♡ —

Morning came by a flash.

You weren't typically cheerful but you weren't also grumpy either. An optimist was what you called yourself. You always looked forward to new days, trying to carry a positive mindset with you in life.

Coffee and pancakes was your go to breakfast.

Once you'd prepared it, you sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Flipping through the channels while sipping onto your delicious, hot piping coffee which eased the prickling sensation caused by the shivering cold.

But then you stopped.

Eyes widening in horror over the news that flashed before you.

“The Chesapeake Ripper strikes again, taking another victim under his hold. This time it is an unidentified man in his thirties who was found dead last night in a forest. The FBI claims it was the Chesapeake Ripper who put up quite the show of the body.”

You blinked profusely.

The Ripper had stopped killing, quite for some time now. So why was he killing again? You were bemused but you didn't let it get to your head. A disturbing emotion seeped into your chest, anxiety spreading and you lost your appetite.

You decided it'd be best to go under the radar for now, as you'd written about the man.

There was a knock on the door and your panicked gaze switched to it. Placing your mug down, you stood up and walked to unlock the door. It revealed an FBI agent, also known as Will Graham. You'd come across tabloids about the compassionate empath who often helped with catching the murderers.

“Yes?”

Will raised his hand and you noticed he was holding your book. “You wrote this book?”

You nodded your head, an apprehensive feeling being born. “I did. Why?”

Will Graham invited himself in, gaze analyzing your home in scrutiny. You were taken aback by his behavior but still didn't say a word, as he was an FBI agent, a murder had been committed by the Chesapeake Ripper and he was holding your book.

“I'm sure you're aware of the murder that took place last night.” You couldn't understand what that had to do with you but you still heard him out, waiting for him to continue.

“Let's say our killer was heavily inspired by your book. Do you have anything to say about that?”

Your lips parted in confusion, brows furrowed as you were left flummoxed by the man's words. It's true you'd taken inspiration from the Chesapeake Ripper but that was all there was to it. There was no way someone had taken what you'd written to heart.

You took a step back. “I don't get this, agent Graham. What do you exactly mean by inspired?”

“I've read the book, miss. There are a few murder scenes which are fictional, never committed by the Chesapeake Ripper.” He explained, holding out printed parts of your own book. You slowly took them and then you were handed the photographs from the murder scene.

As your gaze swiped over it, your jaw dropped.

No way.

There was no way.

“No.” You whispered.

Exactly what you'd written, what you'd described, how you described it and even imagined it when you wrote it down. It was the same, a carbon copy like you yourself had committed the crime. You yourself had decorated the fucking set up.

You pressed a hand over your chest, feeling nauseous.

“Since they were fictional, the killer took it upon himself to bring them to life. Manifest them into reality, miss.” Your breathing grew uneven. A pang of guilt blossoming in your ribcage when your eyes glided over the dead body wrapped in dreadful vines, decorated with flowers.

Lily of the valley and Belladona.

Poisonous but beautiful flowers they were.

Your chest tightened.

Will noticed the raw fear and uncomfort spread on your face. It was exactly the same as what you'd written. Every detail, every touch, every little item was perfectly presented in the way you'd imagined it to be when you wrote it down. When you took hint of the body, your face became more flustered.

Exactly from the description of your book.

Blonde, male, short height and lean frame.

Just exactly the way you'd written him down and you looked at Will. “O-Organs. Is he missing a liver?”

Will nodded and that made you sick to your damn stomach.

Someone was out there — probably the Chesapeake Ripper and he had read your book.

This was a message.

To tell you he'd read your book.

Your fingers trembled and their grasp loosened over the pieces of paper, as well as the photographs. Falling to the floor.

Will kneeled down to gather them and then stood back on his feet.

“I-I don't know. I h-have no idea why he's doing this.” You stumbled over your words, palm pressing into your chest as your forehead became sweaty.

You were a mess.

“Calm down, please.” Will said, to reassure you. You could sense a panic attack knocking at the doors of your brain, struggling to breathe.

But you tried to calm yourself down. You weren't responsible for this as much as you felt like it. The fucking crime scene looked like you'd committed it, no wonder the FBI had come knocking on your damn door. This was going to sabotage you but at least they were aware someone else was doing the kills.

That calmed you down a little.

But you were still on edge. Taken aback from the abrupt change brought in one night.

“Am I a suspect?” You asked and Will shook his head. That relieved you a little.

After Will was done asking you some questions regarding the book and if there was anyone who you had shared the contents of it before the book was released, he left and you were all alone.

The scenes where the antagonist committed the fictional murders were completely out of your imagination. All thought about under the dark night and the glimmering stars.

You went to the kitchen to fetch yourself a glass of water and the cold water worked sufficiently to hydrate your parched mouth and throat.

You went into your room to grab your laptop, in hopes that you might find something on the internet. Leaning down, you tried to pick it up from your bed but stalled. A piece of paper capturing your attention. Folded neatly underneath your pillow.

Your breath hitched.

It was eerily similar to the paper that was stuck to your glass.

Heart beat picking up and hands beginning to shake, you reached for the paper and picked it up. As you unfolded it with bated breaths, your eyes widened.

Same hand writing, different words.

No amount of words were capable enough to describe the fear that you felt in that very moment when your gaze captured and read each and every word.

I hope you like what I prepared for you, my Dearest. There is more to come, please cherish and appreciate my gifts for you.

Tears stung your eyes vision blurry. You thought that was it but no. There was more, in the lower corner of the paper. You squinted your eyes and what you read next made you drop the note.

I must say, you are a gorgeous sight when you sleep.

#hannibal #hannibal lecter #hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal #hannibal one shot #hannibal lecter x reader #tw yandere #mads mikkelsen fanfic #mads mikkelsen #will graham #hannibal headcanons #dark hannibal lecter

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felassan · 1 month

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Snippets. 🐺💜

Corinne: "I’m screaming alongside the rest of y’all! It’s happening!!!!" [source]

Nathan: "Thrilled to share our latest trailer! Very proud of all these animators." [source]

Trick: "There we go." [source] / "I hear there's something at this [trailer] link now." [source]

Blair: "LIVE NOW! October 31st 💜🐉🐺" [source]

Brianne: "It's almost here... So close..." [source]

Corinne: "I’ve held the dagger in my hands, and well, needless to say I can’t wait until my own personal copy arrives. I’m definitely not going to be unhinged. 🤷‍♀️" [source]

Bryce: "if I may workpost for a sec, I'm forever grateful for days like today when I get to gush about dragon age with the fans. this community is so welcoming and my heart is so full today 💜" [source]

User: "Of the new companions, who do you think would have the best chance of beating you at pinball?" / Corinne: "Bellara, definitely. As an Elven tinkerer with a curious mind and playful spirit, I think she’d be so into it" [source]

Brianne: "So excited to share more of what we've worked on!" [source]

Corinne: "Some of the best moments I have is reading through the team’s experience, highlights, and feedback for the game. You’re right - we do love it! It’s a wonderfully talented group of folks I get the pleasure to work alongside." [source]

User: "MORRIGAN!!!!" / Corinne: "Keeping this secret has been KILLING me 😊" [source]. User: "I can't wait to find out all the other secrets that you've got in store for us." / Corinne: "Oh just you wait 😉" [source]

User: "HER CROWN I SEE THAT CROWN." [re: Morrigan] / Corinne: "👀" [source]

User: "CORINNE! It looks so good!! I can't wait to play it!" / Corinne: "Thank you so so much! The team did such a fantastic job. It’s been a labor of love for so many of us 💜" [source]

Corinne: "Can’t wait to hear about your adventures and the decisions you’ll make.I immediately preordered another copy of Rook’s Coffer even though we on the dev team get one 😅" [source]

Corinne: "I’m in awe of what this team has created 💜" [source]

Corinne: "We’re all so proud of this game and I mean it when I say we’re are just as excited to get it into your hands and hear about your adventures as your are to play it.This team is truly a wonderful group of creative people. 💜" [source]

Corinne: "The team has put so much of themselves into this return to Thedas, and believe me when I say that it means so much to all of us to see and hear about your excitement 💜" [source]

Corinne: "I’ll be honest, it still doesn’t feel real to me either that we are so close now. We all hope you’ll love this return to Thedas 😊" [source]

Corinne: "I hope you’ll share a pic of the Rook you settle on when you emerge from Character Creator. If you’re anything like me you’ll spend a loooot of time lost in the options 😉" [source]

Corinne: "Rogue is so so good. The Veil Ranger specialization is absolutely one of my favorites" [source]

Brianne: "I'm excited to see everyone's Rooks! I really like the ones I've made." [source]

Corinne: "Happy to say this time around we’ll be able to support those flowing locks in-game" [source]

The Codex is "vast" [source]

User: "question, of our 7 companions, which is most likely to be up early and watch the sunrise , which is most likely one to sleep till noon?" / Corinne: "When you see Davrin’s room, you’d certainly assume he’d be up watching the sunrise with that view. If only it weren’t in the fade 😅" [source]

User: "For purely scientific and artistic purposes....is Emmrich taller than a female elf or roughly the same height?" / Corinne: "Well… usually taller, but y’all can control your characters height now so 🤷‍♀️😅" [source]

Malcolm: "To all the people excited about the return of Her.... same, fam, same. And by Her I mean Morrigan. Just... just in case that wasn't clear." [source, two]

Malcolm: "The level art team for DA:Ve are incredible. The environments they've built are gobsmacking. I adore what they did for the Necropolis in particular." [source]

Malcolm: "And Rivain is just... 👀 Seeing this one go from early greybox to full art was such a delight" [source]

Malcolm: [image of bby Manfred] "That's my boy!" [source]

[textblock character limit break!]

User: "*remembering all those dang statues in my origin story in DAO* ah shit that’s a lot of gods" / Brianne: "You'll be fine. You... May want back-up 😁" [source]

Brianne: "While on the topic of Dragon Age: The Veilguard... I just adore him. [image of Assan]" [source]. / John: "the team's official Assan photographer" [source] / Brianne: "When I said I'd capture one, two, several more shots..." [source]

Brianne: "There are some spooky places to explore" [source]

User: "I'm so excited :)))))) I hope I spotted the bun hairstyle of one of my favorite hammer wielding characters in the world <3" [re: image of character who is probably Evka Ivo] / Brianne: "Well, would you look at that :)" [source]

Mary: "[Assan] is the best character in the game. We all know this to be true." [source]

Blair: "everyone went nuts about baby griffon, but Manfred is my boy, my sweet cheese, etc. ride or die, Manfred 💀💜" [source]

John: "am I playing our game for fun on a Friday night, I certainly am. romancing my own companion to do one last check to make sure all the conditionals work. folks it is a very strange thing" [source, two]

Trick thinks the Spellblade spec is delightful :D [source]

User: "Is Solas speaking in the Hallelujah cadence at the beginning of the Release Date Trailer ? I'm trying to match it up but the best I can get is opposite stresses although the meter is 8/8/11" / Trick: "In DAI, only a relative few lines were in that cadence. He hauls it out for special occasions. :)" [source]

Original post: "I know that the AP Stylebook says the proper possessive form of Harris is Harris'. But the AP Stylebook also says not to use the Oxford comma. It's not a serious publication, let alone an authority on punctuation." Trick: "There was an actual voices-raised argument among the BioWare Writers and Editors over S-apostrophe vs S-apostrophe-S, along with threats made to writers who proposed character names ending in S in the future. Question time: Can anyone think of an antagonist in DA:I whose name ended in S? Corypheus's assassins' scimitars's's'' blades are coated with poison." [source, two] User: "I make everybody mad by switching between -s' and -s's depending on if the "s" represents a voiced or unvoiced consonant: Anders', but Fenris's." Trick: "I think that was very close to the consensus we landed on." [source]

Mass Effect

User: "fully accept that the answer may be "that was 8 million years ago I have no idea" but did you unilaterally decide to make Thane hallucinogenic when licked while writing ME2 dialog??" / Trick: "Yes. My intention was always that Mordin was trolling you there, but I don't think everyone took it that way. 🤣" [source]

#dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age the veilguard spoilers #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #morrigan #queen of my heart #feels #mass effect #fenris #solas #the devs excitement and pride is so lovely and ace to see #im so excited :D

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 9 months

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hi it's the good omens mascot here's some shit about me that might be relevant

I appear to have accidentally caused chaos so I figured you might as well know about me since I'm responsible for it. And also so that you know who you broke, thanks ineffable fandom.

I have been called the prophet by some of you all. This is not entirely untrue, but I would like to add as I did in one post, that Apollo also gave me the curses of art, (very emotional) music, (sometimes good mostly dreadful) poetry, (same parentheses apply, except that the dreadful is on purpose) writing and (used to be good now dreadful) medical knowledge, and so yes, you did accidently adopt a messenger of an ancient Greek god.

Yes, this entire entry into your cult happened from start to now happened in 48 hours.

This will seem less bizarre when I give you context about me and fandoms. I changed career paths (after three years of intense study that cost me my sanity) from science to the arts because I was inspired by drarry fanfiction of them leaving their ministry jobs and following their dreams. Yes I tossed three years and my loss of sanity away in one week of decisions. I'm now a designer. Thanks Draco.

I read so much drarry fanfiction that my mum had to take me to the hospital for injured wrists. I wore wrist and elbow supports and was in constant pain for a few months. I was only later introduced to autoscroll. Yes, I am a fool. Yes, I am unaware of how to human.

I'm broke and cheap enough that I feel guilty buying bottled water, but for Christmas I spent the equivalent of around 150 bottles of water getting a Bakewell tart custom made (they don't sell them where I live). Why? Because in one single fanfiction, it is Draco's favourite food. I would never spend that kind of money on a dessert for any real human being.

That is to say, you all are not ready for when I REALLY fall for Crowley. I don't saunter vaguely downwards for people. I bypass earth and crash into hell, leaving a smoking pit in its infernal ground.

I swear I'm not as dumb as I seem, I just have ZERO general knowledge, and am terrible with faces. I can tell you what the graffiti on the walls of Pompeii from before 70 AD said but I don't know who my previous president was, and personally I think that's very classy of me.

Some of you seem concerned about my sleep schedule. Worry not, I sleep in four installments, night, morning nap, afternoon nap, evening nap. I sleep more than you all, that I can promise. I sleep more than my doggy sister.

About the streams and the timezones, I have no idea how to make it so people can watch, because I frequently mix up east and west and last morning I mixed up the Pacific and Atlantic ocean. I don't know at what point the Eastern hemisphere becomes the Western or how any of it works. I also thought Wakanda was a real place.

But hey fun fact, in 2020 diclofenac sales were dropping in Iceland. I know this because I wanted to make sure to use the correct painkiller in one sentence of a story I was writing. It was completely irrelevant. But hey any of you writers here probably feel my pain. I don't write fanfiction, but I am an author and I write original stories. And honestly what is more useful, Icelandic diclofenac sales from three years ago or timezones?

A career test once told me to be a standup comedian.

Yes that's me Asmi, just your regular dumbass lad who is slightly unhinged, serving himbo twink energy, hello hi nice to meet you all. PS: the poll results are out and Doctor Who won, so tremble, DW fandom.

#good omens fandom #good omens mascot #asmi #weirdly-specific-but-ok #this is me y'all #good omens brainrot #thanks for breaking me i figured you should know about me #crowley #just crowley i'm going to shatter soon #drarry #draco malfoy #fandom culture #fandom things #doctor who #dw fandom #more inaccurate summaries coming up #good omens #fanfiction #and how it ruined and saved me

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lottiecrabie · 11 months

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girlie brings professor!matty some cheap raspberry wine and rides him on the couch in his office

well he Has been looking very professor🤸‍♀️

the office is hot and stuffy, air thick with cigarette smoke and pine scent. the furnace is right beside it, and it heats and heats and heats until sweat sticks you to his tartan couch.

matty speaks of art theories, gesturing and nearly knocking his whiskey glass as he does so. you listen avidly, mostly. every word is a lesson, a treasure, a puzzle to scratch and undo and complete. still, the way he pushes his glasses up his nose is distracting, and you can’t stop your gaze flicking to the buttons of his orange shirt he pops one by one, the temperature gaining ground on him.

it’s just the heat, you remind yourself. it’s something else, too.

you nod at him. you sprawl on the couch; mary janes kicked off, feet tucked under your legs, elbow resting on the back pillows. comfortable, familiar, unprofessional. you’ve been here before— made a home of it, even.

the wine rests precariously on the tartan couch, but it’s not very scary. little worse could happen to it; it’s beat-up and dirty, pulled from some vintage shop fifteen somethings years ago, and tucked oasis of many college students since.

you take a swig straight from the bottle, licking the droplets. matty’s eyes flick to your lips, pink from raspberry wine. you smirk. ‘d’you want a taste?’ you ask, knowing.

his eyes settle on the wine. ‘is it any better than the last one?’

‘marginally so.’

matty sighs, opening his palm. he takes it like a duty, like you’re forcing him, as if it’s not completely his decision. he takes the babiest sip, then winces. ‘you drink this shit?’ matty spits, a disgusted grimace frowning his features. you laugh at the sight of it, swiping back the wine from him. ‘how do you not vomit pink by the end of it?’

‘dunno,’ you start, the light set-up of a tease. ‘guess i’m just better at handling my liquor.’

matty snorts. ‘yeah, i remember the state of you after two glasses of cognac.’ you shrug, innocent.

you take a swig of the bottle. the sweet, rubbery taste washes your mouth. you grin, dropping two cold fingers on his trousers, blinking at him as you graze them. ‘do you want another taste? don’t think you really took the time to appreciate the understated flavors.’

‘flavors,’ he mocks, though still leans in, and kisses you. your hand finds his hair immediately, loving to mess with his already undone curls, rake and tug until they stick out of his head like some mad scientist. give a face to those unhinged ramblings.

you kiss hungrily, licking and biting until you’re not quite sure you remember your name. matty breathes away to whisper, ‘mmh, you’re right. it’s a bit floral.’

‘shut up,’ you pant, pulling his head down.

you climb onto his lap, pushing him back on the couch. he lets his head fall on the pillows, tilting it up in offering as you devour him. his hands weight at your waist, respectful.

you break away from him, frantically unbuttoning his shirt until you get lazy, leaving it half-falling off his torso. it reveals the one tattoo you desperately crave to see, anyway; chest ink bright and depraved.

you focus on his pants instead, unbuckling his belt with shaky fingers. ‘woah,’ matty laughs. ‘are you even ready for me?’

you stare up at him, surprised. you steal a hand from him, placing it on the burning, wet heat between your legs. ‘always.’

‘fuck,’ he mutters, rubbing at your entrance, gathering a pool of your juices, slicking your clit. you jump at the contact, low moan as you work his pants again. ‘been all wet for how long?’

‘god, ever since you started talking.’ you finally spring free his hard cock, practically salivating at it. you rise up on your knees, stroking him.

matty’s not quite done with teasing you, blocking the way as he swipes and circles your bud. ‘is that right?’ he smirks, cheeky. ‘does it always get you all needy for me?’

‘yeah,’ you pout slightly, rolling your hips onto his hand, begging for more.

‘even when i teach?’ he pouts back, mocking. you groan, your head falling on his shoulder. ‘use your words, smart girl.’

‘yes.’

‘oh, it must be so hard for you, sitting in class for hours and hours, listening to me talk, all wet and throbbing and aching for my cock.’ he speeds up his fingers. you cry in the collar of his shirt, drooling on the cotton.

‘sir, please, i need—‘

‘right, right,’ he says, finally freeing the way, moving your underwear aside as he does so. you flash a smile in glee. ‘you’ve been so good for me lately. been all patient, too. you deserve it.’ pride shines through your skin. you lower yourself on his length, gasping in relief.

you rock your hips as soon as you get used to the stretch of him, rolling and bucking until pleasure waves through you. his hands dig into your flesh, encouraging.

‘what do you do, then?’ he whispers. ‘when you get all turned on in the middle of my class?’

you mewl, thrusting faster. the words get you needier somehow. get you ready for that fatal strike of ecstasy. matty pinches the skin of your thigh, punishing like a professor.

you clench around him, understanding his demand. ‘i—‘ you start, but his cock makes any thinking quite hard. ‘jesus, i— i go to the bathroom, sometimes.’

‘to touch yourself?’

you shut your eyes, nodding. ‘just a little, just to relieve some tension. i don’t— i don’t come.’

matty’s hands fall to your ass, puppeteering your deeper, closer. you fuck hard and fast, out of breath. ‘course not,’ he teases. ‘i know how you get when you come. whole bloody building would hear you.’ you flush. ‘when, then?’

your hand holds your weight up on the pillows of the tartan couch. your thighs ache, but you remain focused, determined. ready to blow. ‘when i get home. i get my vibrator and i—‘

‘hands can’t do it, huh?’ he laughs. ‘not like me.’ as though to prove it, he sneaks two fingers to your clit, rubbing better and faster than you ever could, that callus making you see heaven. you cry, gripping the tartan couch.

‘i play back the whole lesson,’ you admit. ‘how you looked and how you sounded like and— and i think of you saying it to me, in bed. think of all the things you’ve done to me, and what you would do if you were there. fuck, it makes me come so hard.’

you feel your hips grow erratic, bucking wildly and desperately. your legs shake, exhausted, overrun with euphoria. you say his name, again and again, a worship and a plea.

‘next time, darling,’ he says. ‘come find me. don’t need to do all of that; i got a perfectly good desk in that classroom that’s semi-standing up.’ you throb around him, hit with a wave of heat at that idea. ‘oh, you like that.’

‘promise?’ you squeak, dropping your head back as you get close.

‘you don’t know how often i’ve thought of bending you over it in the middle of class, love. you don’t have to worry about my word.’

you cry out, thrusting up and down, letting yourself exist in only his office, only the shape of his hands, until your brain breaks and you snap with a scream. you throb around him, falling on his shoulder, shaking.

he shushes you gently, holding your hips up as he continues to fuck into you. ‘so good, darling. so pretty,’ he promises, stroking your hair. ‘my best girl. my perfect girl. gonna make me come so hard.’ you whine. ‘where do you want it?’

‘inside,’ you hum. ‘want you to drip out of me all the way back home.’

‘fucking— shit,’ he groans, then fucks up into you a last time, spilling.

you breathe together as he slowly softens inside of you, still linked like some strange clay sculpture he would decorticate in class. your smile slacks your mouth. ‘i’m very excited for your next lesson, sir.’

he bursts out a laugh. ‘me too.’

#blurb #ask #crablurb #smut #matty healy smut #professor!matty

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nightcolorz · 1 year

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Unhinged Sybelle and Benji tangent (cw references to abuse csa trauma etc)

yeah so Marius’s turning of Benji and Sybelle isn’t about whether or not that was the right decision to make and isn’t made better by their contentment living as vampires in late canon. Benji and Sybelle’s relatively happy lives as vampires are irrelevant to me. The cruelty of how he did it is made worse by the hypocritical nature of turning a kid into a vampire after so firmly insisting that turning children is morally abhorrent and smth he should’ve never done, yeah, but that’s only a small part of it.

It was so awful and upsetting to me bcus of the deliberate stripping of Armand’s agency. See, we have a whole book where Armand tells the story of how throughout his entire life and childhood he was forced into the role of submissiveness and/or dependency. whether that be his childhood religious devotion that would eventually lead to his being buried alive for God or being sold into sexual slavery or Marius’s mentorship of him that ultimately intended to teach him to stay loyal and dependent on Marius’s authority to Marius’s relationship with him sexual and otherwise to the cult indoctrination, up until Lestat comes along and tilts his own view of submission and devotion as his only way to survive and function in the world onto its head.

He gives him a theater and then he gives him Louis. Armand floats around, tries to find purpose without devotion through using Louis and Daniel as tools to understanding the modern age. The modern age to Armand is possibility and independence, things he’s never had so much access to and doesn’t know exactly how to apply to himself until the devils minion chapter when he’s like ah ok I get it, life without devotion is something I’ve always been familiar with—it’s what Marius taught me! I Am The Master now with my excessive indulgence and my Boy and my sea side paradise.

But Armand is a Void™️ with no concept of self besides a collection of concepts and experiences and people he’s been exposed to throughout his existence, so rlly he’s kind of a fraud. Internally he’s still a saint who yearns for a God to follow, he’s no Marius, and this all comes to a head in Memnoch the devil when he throws himself into the sun for Jesus etc. and so TVA Armand is mixed the fuck up, he’s lost everything he’s been building for himself, he’s like an open wound, like red and gold sand art shaken around until it’s sludges of brown.

Armand believes himself to have no coherent narrative of a life, no coherent and consistent sense of self, just a collection of unrelated sequences that he draws from to occasionally preform personhood, and at the beginning of TVA he is very much just that. No thoughts only colors and pain. But he’s trying to rebuild himself as best he can, he has these young humans who he’s caring for, and through caring Armand finds meaning.

These humans are very much reflections of himself, or who he used to be, and seeing a personhood reflected back at him through these two gives him insight into his own value as an individual, as someone who is inherently worthy of having a life. So with Benji and Sybelle he tries to rebuild his own sense of personhood by giving them what he would want in there place. The conclusion he reaches at the end of his story to David is that after everything ultimately he is learning and rebuilding, gaining fulfillment and individuality he’s never had before through his empathy and care for these two people in his life. Benji and Sybelle are representative of Armand’s healing process!!! They mirror him bcus they are him!! He’s literally nurturing his inner child!! And with that there comes self care and self love etc etc. but then the book doesn’t end!!

Then after all that trauma and all that healing everything that Armand was tenderly attempting to build for his new life is stripped away ! When Marius turns Benji and Sybelle it doesn’t matttttter that they like being vampires. What matters is that when Armand finally gained agency and individuality Marius decided to take that from him! Marius decided that he actually knew better then Armand, and if Armand would just allow him to do what’s best for him then everything would be so much better and so much easier. And when Armand starts sobbing and screaming and fighting him that’s just justification to Marius that Armand isn’t capable of independence or self sufficiency, that he’s a child throwing a tantrum who can’t make his own decisions, that he should just be dependent on Marius like he used to be and trust that other people know what’s best for him.

That’s why it’s so tragic! That’s why it’s so frustrating and so sad. Armand was on the road to healing but then Marius stormed in like the symbolic representation of his past telling him that no matter what he does or the progress he makes he’s still Armand in the catacombs, Amadeo on the red sheets, Andrei waiting to be buried alive. So I don’t really give af if ultimately Benji and Sybelle are fine! It’s great that despite being a child vampire Benji is able to function independently and contently as an adult with minimal body dysmorphia and existential dread, but you know who’s not able to do that? Armand 😭😭

#tvc #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #vc #armand #interview with the vampire #iwtv #the vampire armand #benji mahmoud #sybelle tvc #Tvc meta #iwtv meta #VC meta #armand le russe #armand iwtv #armand vc #This was meant to be like a paragraph of rambling wtf happened #Sorry if my tone comes off as condescending I’m just very excited about armand #And I don’t agree with the assertion that Benji and sybelle’s good lives as vampires diminish the impact of their turning

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lablass-2882 · 7 months

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Decisions were made.

Omg......they were certianly made.

Ppppttthhhhhaahahahahaha.

Decisions were made.

#lablass talkie #rambles #if i can pull this off artwise i will be very satisfied #no promises #unhinged decision were made #stay tuned #my art #i swear im not trying to be cryptic #im just laughing too much

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flodaya · 8 months

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lets do this, official FYC campaign for the second annual Arts Awards @artsimpourtzi

TOMDAYA

Bestest moment of the year (aka the Arts Golden Crown award)

Most underrated moment of the year: tz at the brother's trust event

Most unexpected moment of the year

Best pretzeling exhibit

Best photo of the year

Sappiest moment of the year, sappy horny clingy disgusting, whatever you want to call it

Favorite concert

this is the hardest decision but i'm going with Usher, beyoncé 1.0 had the best moment of the year, but Usher had many hits in one night

Best city of the year (aka the MCA award)

London, hands down no competiton, let's not even kid ourselves, do not snub London istg

ZENDAYA

Best moment of the year: dayachella

Best red carpet outfit of the year

Best down bad moment of the year, girl GET UP

Best online moment of the year (RIP): posting tom unprovoked, girl????

TOM HOLLAND

Best down bad moment of the year

When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship When I feel most myself has to do with my relationship

Best online moment of the year, tom just randomly posting the most adorable picture of Z on his feed 🥹

ABOUT TOMDAYA (friends, family, lore)

Best Noon moment of the year: hanging out with your british granny and the mom of your dad's ex that your dad lowkey used as a rebound when your mommy and daddy went through a temporary break

Best Tomdaya tea

that one of the choir teacher and granny daphne.... likeeeee it's REAL #tome

Most unhinged anti theory of the year (aka the Flodaya award)

when they called the cute dorky picture tom posted for Z's birthday "active disprespect" lol

Most memorable tomdaya rumour of the year

the nonexistent rumor that Z posted an engagement ring and her overreaction to the whole thing, girllllll SO suspicious

Best account of people seeing them but NO PICTURES 😭

tz on a holland family vacation in portugal

TOMDAYA FANDOM

Best unglad art piece

glady's rendition of Z spreading her legs

The "you had to be there" tumblr moment award, seeing noon in EUROPE???? knowing it meant Z was staying in london for a WHILE, ohhhh i have not felt such parasocial joy in months

Biggest delulu moment of the year that came true: beyoncé 2.0

#tz #arts awards #fyc

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ebisul · 2 months

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Clone Martial Arts HCs!!!

Now that the poll has ended and I’ve done my own further research I wanted to share my headcannons for what Martial Arts I think Commander Cody and by extension the other Clones prefer. Keep in mind Im not an expert by any means so if this shits inaccurate thats my b

Now, The clones as a whole I think would be trained in as many martial arts as possible due to the obvious reasons.

Cody

For my beloved Commander Cody, I genuinely believe, while he utilizes many techniques from different disciplines and also makes shit up as he goes bc he truly is a feral overachiever, in my heart and soul i think Cody favors Muay Thai for personal use.

I know the poll said Taekwondo, however, while i think he has trained in it, he’s way more punchy than we give him credit for and i think he would prefer a more versatile art. While Taekwondo does have a focus on kicks and punches(depending on the ruleset apparently), Muay Thai utilizes punches, kicks, elbows, knees, and more. Muay Thai is also more effective in self defense due to the range being closer in comparison to TKD

I also think clinching, throws, and sweeps are all things Cody would utilize in his preferred art

I’ve always headcanoned Cody as boxing in his freetime for a while now and Muay Thai is just the specific form of boxing ive decided, followed closely by kickboxing.

Im also a sucker for any fic where Jango trains Cody personally so by extension I think Jango also prefers Muay Thai and Cody hangs onto that.

Rex

From here forward I didn’t plan on involving any more of the clones so be warned. I do think Cody is one of the only clones where his hobby is specifically training in a martial art but the rest probably have their favs too.

For Rex, I think japanese Jiu Jitsu is his style being designed for samurai and the battlefield. The specification is important to me. He’s tired of fighting all the time so its purely out of practicality and doesnt really pick up a martial art the way Cody does to blow off steam.

Rex is also a little unhinged, due to working under Anakin and Ahsoka of all people, so i do think he has some unconventionality to his fighting the same as Cody.

Wolffe

Wolffe strikes me as a Krav Maga guy. Thats just his vibe i guess. I think he would have picked it up after his encounter with Ventress becasue of its efficiency for self defense, practically, and because of the weapons defense.

Does this translate well to lightsabers? Idk does any of this translate to star wars? Theyre usually fighting droids so i dont really care. None of these actually exist in a Galaxy Far Far Away.

Fox

Fox I decided was Jeet Kune Do guy. JKD was conceived by Bruce Lee to be simple and direct and free which speaks very Fox to me, yknow?

Its all about intercepting the opponents attacks, responding or countering incoming attacks, and conserving movement and energy. Its a practical self defense technique and the principles are designed to help practitioners to make snap decisions, among other things. It all just screams Fox imo

Bly

Bly is into Hapkido. Specifically the deflecting attacks and using that against the opponent for joint locks and takedowns while also being more aggressive in comparison to Aikido. Im a big fan of fighting styles that use the opponents against themselves and i get the vibe that Bly is the kinda fighter who would favor that in a martial art.

I do think Bly also dabbles in Aikido as well. He definitely shows off to Aayla.

Ponds

Ponds is a hard one but im slapping TKD on him. Is it practical for war? Not really. I think the emphasis on the self discipline, respect, and mentality would make him a great pair to Mace Windu tho. I think he practices for the mental level of it all rather than the physical.

This got longer than i intended it to get but ive spent the past few hours on this. Mostly researching. If you want me to do more of these let me know!

#let it be known that i did watch the one scene of Cody kicking a droid multiple times before making this #also a lot of this is just a Vibe Reading backed by like minimal research bc i was getting tired #sw #star wars #tcw #the clone wars #commander cody #commander wolffe #captain rex #commander fox #commander bly #commander ponds

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