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ladybyakuya · 25 days

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| ALL I WANTED + GOJO SATORU .

+cw. — female!wife!reader x clan-head!husband!(sub)!gojo satoru, arrange marriage, hurt, angst, canon typical elements, smut, f!masturbation + m!masturbation & orgasm interruption.

+wc. — 2.3k

+syn.— satoru comes home from a bunch of missions only to find his wife in their shared bedroom not wanting him, or waiting for him but busy seeking pleasure that was his share to pour into you.

+notes. — special thanks to @gojoest for hyping me up with this idea. & thanks to @sugurouge for beta reading otherwise this never get posted lol | redirect to blog navigation.

The current head of the clan you belong to, your father stands facing his back to you. He is now the housemaster, not your father. “You’re going to be married,” said he, as his palms remained tightly clasped at his back while he looked out through the window. What you once called home became a distant memory in an instant. “You’re going to be married—” as his face turned towards you, “to Gojo Satoru.” you could figure out why he was looking away. “That monster!” he screams tears streaming down his face as his lips tremble in rage and disbelief; how of all people did the marriage broker who has been his friend for a long time have even agreed with such a decision? The thought of him suggesting the idea to the council does not even cross your father’s mind. How utterly naive! a low grunt followed as your father swatted away his chair knocking it down to the ground before killing every bit of hope you had despite the rumors. “This marriage. . . it is nothing but a hopeless dream. ”

Yes! You knew that already. The housemaids and staff just love to gossip about the doom of their sole source of bread and butter. The moment your father summoned you into his study room and told you the news while staring at the greenery of the garden of this mansion you knew your life was going to turn upside down and it did, just like you expected yet you were still disappointed, frustrated even when you came back to your room.

Satoru Gojo is the strongest jujutsu sorcerer in history ever known since Sukuna Ryomen was sealed. No other name has ever made it to the pages of jujutsu history. He is at the top of the jujutsu society regarding status, power, fame, and money. So, what do you do with the strongest of all? worship them out of devotion? subdue them with offerings lest it might lash out? swearing loyalty out of fear? Those were the thoughts that stemmed at the back of your mind when you first came to know about the fact that you were going to be the wife of the Gojo Satoru from a maid whose life never even crossed the threshold of your home. Her world was limited to the mossy parts of the mansion you resided in. Still, she could tell what kind of marriage you would be walking into.

Nothing shocking happened even on the night of your wedding. It was just as you anticipated. Two different futons were kept side by side. There was no sharing of words, glances, or kakebuton . Just both of your backs faced each other. At dawn, you woke up with your wedding kimono intact, a stainless white futon, and an empty room without Gojo.

The maids here knew better than to talk about it, even behind your back. They were aware of the power and status you held and that made everything a lot worse than you expected it to be. You had access to a lot of things, the family history archives, the financial sources, his previous missions— everything tied to him. Your husband, Gojo Satoru, was the clan head as well as the master of this mansion so there were no elderly people pushing responsibilities onto your shoulders like back at home. There was a sense of serenity in the air but how could you breathe it in for the rest of your life?

Satoru Gojo was the kind of man whom one could easily desire. Despite being his wife and the future mother of his children, trying to love him felt like a cyanide for you. You wanted your husband, not some Satoru Gojo oozing with knowledge and power. You wanted to look him in the eye, not just his back which you barely get a glimpse of at the crack of dawn as he occupies the sad side of the bed under a separate duvet. In earlier stages of this marriage, there was no curtain separating you and your husband’s side of the bed but after a month of utter silence and stealing glances, the first thing he installed was a curtain in the shared canopy bed. If he needed some privacy he could easily ask you to shift into another room but he bothered to talk one of those clan servants to install a fucking curtain as if the silence was not enough of a gulf in between you two.

Sometimes you thought that he was cheating on you but you always pushed it under the rug telling yourself, “You’re the wife of Satoru Gojo. No one can take that from you unless you walk out of this marriage. Not your father. Not that marriage broker —”

— Not even Gojo Satoru himself because he only married you to silence those nosy elders of his clan who pretend to be oh-so-worried for him. You were not foreign to that concept, after all, you are wrapped in the same shroud for all your life.

“You’re the wife of Gojo Satoru . . .No one . . .”

“You’re the wife of Gojo Satoru . . .”

“You’re the wife . . .”

“You’re . . .”

But the thought of getting his dick sucked by some other woman or man, or him putting his dick into someone — it filled you with too much anger to sleep in bed that night. For the first time, you miss home because there you are free to go anywhere even at night.

Satoru came home early that night, which was odd for his schedule, and was greeted with an empty bed after a long while. The sky is yet to be cracked open by sunlight. It is still too dark to be wandering around. Where could his wife have been gone to at this hour? He takes a spoonful of strawberry ice cream from the giant tub he held in his other hand before starting to look for you. But where should he look first? He does not know anything except the fact that he had put veils in different places of his house just to keep this house free of low-energy cursed spirits. Those veils sure did their job well but sometimes they would keep out non-sorcerers, people like you. His heart rejoices at the thought that he has to look for you in places only he is aware of, which means this is going to take a little less time, and he will find you much faster. Come to think of it, he has not been in the library section for a while but it is still as spotless as the first day he came here. Have you been visiting? Man! That sure worries him.

The pink layer of the tub has come down to half along with its skin being wet while the spoon is still experiencing the fierce appetite that Satoru had for anything sweet. He stands at the entrance of a long hallway before checking, thinking that this is the last place he has to look for but could it be possible that you were embarrassed enough to go back to your home?

Ahh…ahhh!

The spoon hits the wooden floor with a dull clatter as a wretched realization comes crashing down through his veins. Have you been cheating on him all this time? In his house? With some lowly servant ? Well, that sure makes it easier to end this sham of a marriage. He opens the door of a certain archive room as swiftly as possible trying to minimize the sound of his presence, making sure he does not shock you awake from your rendezvous. He is determined to catch you red-handed but when he opens the door he witnesses something that could have knocked the lights off his brain if he were not one of the greatest sorcerers of his time. The sight was not something of a fair appetite for ordinary people yet you sat by the marble slab of the giant window, with one of your arms nuked under your sapphire jinbei in between your legs as your skin glowed under that pale moonlight as if diamonds and pearls were embedded on your skin.

You were sweating, arching your body, moaning and all your husband could do was watch in awe. Your free hand travels from the bottom of your cleavage and up to the apex of your nape as you turn your head opening your eyes for a brief moment. You see the world so blurred that it spikes your approaching high, but as you open your eyes for the second time your high is gone like it never existed. Your husband, Gojo Satoru stood before you like an ivory statue of certain abandoned ruined cathedrals. The dress covers most of your body so a wave of relief washes over him despite realizing how dangerous the spot you chose . . .to . . .umh. . . pleasure yourself .

How long? How long was he watching you ? You shift your body to face him, and your hand slowly emerges from the warmth between your thighs. Satoru tries to ignore but traces of your arousal and his yearning are flourishing like fluorescence on your fingers as it rests on your thigh. You watch him gulp. Suddenly, Gojo Satoru is out of words. Teacher to his students of Jujutsu High, the strongest sorcerer, Nanami’s certified yapper is suddenly out of words. The slight slice of your boobs visible through your robe does not help either in the coherency of his thoughts. He had plans. He had plans to walk out of this marriage without being tainted as a “cheater” because the jujutsu society is so fucked up that they will not stop until they found this particular person that had made this marriage impossible to work on so that you, the wife, had to walk out it and dear God, they certainly are not fond of obstructions.

“What a nice place you chose to—” he finally looks away to keep the tub of semi-molten room-temperature strawberry ice cream on some bookshelf but before he could shift back his gaze on you again you were gone like a storm. The sound of your footsteps echoed in his ear till it stopped before he heard the click of a door. He does not understand if you are just too dumb or too brave to act the way you are acting right now. He follows you as a grunt of dismissal escapes from his chest. As he stands in front of the bathroom door he drowns yet again in utmost disbelief. He can still hear your shrill gasp of pleasure and he is not liking how his cock is responsive to it. At first, he hesitates to touch himself but the faint sound of your moans, the wet squelching sounds of your fingers moving in and out of your damp folds despite the door of the bathroom being locked buzzes in his ears like bees out in the hunt of honey.

Satoru gave up . You hear a thud as you continue to finger yourself knowing full well that your husband must have followed you all the way here after witnessing you in such a state. Indeed, you could have been accused of cheating on him without him checking the door and it would have been much worse. He sits against the bathroom door unfurling the black ribbon with a swish to take his cock out of his baggy white pants. The tip is already leaking. His cock is throbbing in his palm as he encapsulates his fingers around it, moving his fingers up and down slowly. On the other side of the door, as you could finally feel the pinnacle of your high you heard a soft groan; a pain, that seemed familiar, was palpable underneath that shrill cry of pleasure. Still when your fingers touched the part inside you that almost felt like unknotting something from inside you, at the basal of your navel Satoru’s hand moved faster to chase the similar high that had started to bubble in his body under the influence of your ripples of pleasure. You heard your husband moan as tears rolled down your cheeks when you closed your eyes feeling the knot finally unwinding.

Perhaps, both of you came simultaneously. Perhaps not, because you immediately opened the door after you had calmed from your high, only to be greeted with Satoru sitting right at the opposite wall of the bathroom door, legs folded in L-manner so that he could keep his hand over his knee. His cock is still visible through his white pants and it is still so hard. One of your eyebrows raises in silent reply . Satoru notices that. He looks at you and then looks away. You extend your hand towards his face, gaining his stern azure pair of eyes shining against whatever dim light the crack of the bathroom door could allow. There was no sign of resistance in him so as your palm touched his cheeks, you waited and gave him time to protest. yet none ever followed, instead, he surrendered to your touch, and your fingers curled under his chin as you ran your thumb over his lips. Satoru coiled against your touch imbibing as much as he could like a tide being high enough to touch the moon . . .a familiar voice shocked both of you awake.

“Lady Gojo. . .”

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uyuforu · 24 days

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Groom & Briede Persona Chart Observations III

Groom (5129), Briede (19029) are asteroids that are romance kind of asteroids. Groom represents the husband, and Briede represents the wife. If you are into men, look at your Groom Persona Chart, and if you are into women, look at Briede PC. Despite it is starting to be well known and recognized as asteroids, those two are still new, and we don't actually know that much in the end about those asteroids. Some say it will say the signs and placements of your FS, some say it will explain who is your FS. I have decided to make observations about it, and make a conclusion about those asteroids. Observations were made on married couple, still together or divorced, that I know.

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ How to know where your Future Spouse was born with Astrology?

જ⁀➴ Groom/ Briede/ Juno Aspects in Natal Chart

જ⁀➴ Briede/ Groom Persona Chart for Yourself

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⋆˚✿˖° Jupiter in a Groom or Briede PC can represent where you'll meet, how you will meet first (sign & house).

⋆˚✿˖° Discovery made on those Observations. A false idea that goes around in the astro community is that the Groom/ Briede PC is supposed to tell you your FS' placements. It's not true! Actually, this is pretty rare and it happened in 10% of the cases I studied. Don't count on this, Groom and Briede PC are supposed to tell you who they are, it's describing your FS, and not revealing their NC.

⋆˚✿˖° Placements that usual happens to describe placements of your FS (NOT ALWAYS):

- Rising sign can usually say what elements FS' Rising is. And I have noticed that your Spouse Rising sign trines the Rising on Groom/ Briede PC. EX: If you have Cancer Rising on your Groom/ Briede PC, your FS can be Scorpio Rising, because Cancer trines Scorpio.

- Moon Sign or house can indeed tell more about your FS' Moon sign. Sign can represent their house or element their moon is in.

- Rising degree can also sometimes say more about their Rising, and sometimes their degree too.

- Ruler of the Rising can also say what is in their 1H or FS Rising can have the same ruler, tho be careful with that, not always. It worked 5% in all the natives I have studied.

⋆˚✿˖° Libra Rising can mean your Spouse is very pretty, very good looking and know how to present herself well. Charismatic spouse.

⋆˚✿˖° Rising 5°/ 17°/ 29° means popular spouse, spouse can wear a lot of expensive clothing.

⋆˚✿˖° Cancer Rising can mean your Spouse can already be a parent when you meet. Spouse can also look quite nice, innocent, good looking. Spouse can have a difficult relationships with food too, and it can impact their appearance.

⋆˚✿˖° Virgo Rising can mean FS can look cold, away, or just very hardworking. You can see FS as being this way and just very serious most of the times.

⋆˚✿˖° Capricorn Rising means you may respect your FS a lot, and see them as very serious, hardworking. You could see them as the leader, and the person in charge.

⋆˚✿˖° Sun 11H means FS can be very popular, everyone can appreciate them. FS can party a lot and have a lot of friends.

⋆˚✿˖° Sun 12H could mean Spouse could have felt lonely their whole life, and they could have felt like no one truly understood them. Spouse can also have a mental illness. Spouse is very private too.

⋆˚✿˖° Moon 7H can mean FS can be your first love.

⋆˚✿˖° Moon 6H means FS can struggle to have fun and let it go most of the times, FS can also be quite perfectionist and hardworking.

⋆˚✿˖° Moon 8H can mean Spouse can be secretive and never show how they truly feel. They can often fake their emotions in front of people for the sake of not being rude or annoying.

⋆˚✿˖° Gemini Mercury means FS can look like someone who is smart, they can look quite funny. They can just be someone who gives the impression everything is good in their life.

⋆˚✿˖° Mercury 1H can mean FS is very smart, has a lot of knowledge, FS has a strong voice too. FS can be just known for how smart they are, people respect that a lot.

⋆˚✿˖° Venus 7H means Spouse will be very much in love with Native. It's a sign of a love marriage.

⋆˚✿˖° Venus 8H can mean Native and Spouse will have a secret romance, cheating can be involved. Spouse can also be pretty secretive about their romance.

⋆˚✿˖° Venus 2H is a sign your Spouse knows how to present themselves well, they could like beautiful things. Spouse could have been in a family that has money and they never lacked anything. Spouse could have had easily what they always wanted, materially speaking.

⋆˚✿˖° Mars 8H means a lot of sexual activities, and just be very sexually attracted to spouse. Spouse can also be quite violent, or just has a lot of anger issues.

⋆˚✿˖° Mars 9H can mean your Spouse could have traveled a lot before, could have lived abroad.

⋆˚✿˖° Jupiter 5H means you will have children with Spouse, Spouse has a strong desire for children. Spouse is very creative, and spouse could have a lot of hobbies, mostly creative hobbies. Spouse could be very lucky in general in their life.

⋆˚✿˖° Jupiter 1H means your Spouse can be very attractive, good looking, or you could find them to be very good looking.

⋆˚✿˖° Saturn 9H can mean Spouse will have hard time completing a diploma or with high studies in general.

⋆˚✿˖° Saturn 10H means Spouse can have daddy issues.

⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 4H means Native will have a step family from their spouse.

⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 12H can also indicate Spouse will divorce for you to be together.

⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 12H means Spouse's money status will transform and have a sudden change at some point and this can be because of the marriage.

⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 7H means you could meet Spouse when they are in a relationship or while you are in a relationship. This could also indicate meeting for a contract.

⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 5H means Spouse can have children at the most unexpected time, or will change their mind suddenly about children.

⋆˚✿˖° Neptune 8H can also be an indicator FS is very sensitive, and FS can feel like everyone hate them but it's not the case. FS can be a loner too, and be extra sensitive.

⋆˚✿˖° Neptune 3H means Spouse can lie very well, Spouse know how to use words to seduce. But can also mean Spouse isn't good at communication. It can also mean your Spouse is very secretive about their ideas and opinions. They don't necessarily lie but they are very secretive.

⋆˚✿˖° Neptune 5H means your Spouse is very creative, and has a lot of imagination. Spouse can also be very much in love with native that they forget reality. Can also mean Spouse has a child, that is hidden or forgotten. It can also mean your Spouse can have some illusions about children.

╰┈➤ Get your own Groom/ Briede Persona Chart, from 20€ to 60€ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

⋆˚✿˖° Pluto 1H means your Spouse is possessive and very intense. Spouse is very sexy and attracts a lot of people who desire them.

⋆˚✿˖° Pluto 4H can mean your Spouse can have a broken family, or have to step away from their family to be with Native.

⋆˚✿˖° Chiron 7H can mean your marriage will be difficult, a toxic marriage. Spouse had a lot of toxic relationships.

⋆˚✿˖° Chiron 4H means Spouse's wound is def related to their family, and spouse could have had a difficult relationship with their parents.

⋆˚✿˖° Chiron 7H can also mean a difficult marriage. It can indicate a marriage where there are a lot of obstacles.

⋆˚✿˖° Union (1585) in Virgo 11H can mean you can meet each other as colleagues and bond over a friendship first. This could indicate them working for you or they are helping you at work.

⋆˚✿˖° Union 6H Capricorn is an indicator to meet at work. In this case, they can be your boss.

⋆˚✿˖° 10H Stellium means your Spouse can be very hardworking, and spouse can love their job. Spouse can be the one providing in the relationship.

⋆˚✿˖° 5H Stellium can mean Spouse will already have a child when you meet them, or love children, will want children.

⋆˚✿˖° Stellium 6H means work can be very important in the native and spouse's story.

⋆˚✿˖° Stellium in 4H could be a soulmate sign. You could feel like your FS is your Soulmate, you feel very linked to them.

⋆˚✿˖° 2H Ruler in 8H means Native and their Spouse will share their money or gain money together.

⋆˚✿˖° 2H Ruler in 10H means your Spouse can make a lot of money at work.

⋆˚✿˖° 3H Ruler in 8H can mean Native and their Spouse will have a secret flirt going on, or they can flirt together in a very subtile way.

⋆˚✿˖° 4H Ruled by Saturn can mean Spouse had a rough childhood, daddy Issues perhaps

⋆˚✿˖° 5H Ruler in 7H can mean Spouse and Native will flirt a lot.

⋆˚✿˖° 7H Ruler in 8H means Marriage/ relationship comes from cheating.

⋆˚✿˖° 7H Ruler in 11H means Spouse will need to divorce or stop a serious commitment to be with the Native.

⋆˚✿˖° 10H Ruler in 12H means the Native and their spouse will work and gain money together. Perhaps creating a company together for example.

⋆˚✿˖° 12H Ruler in 7H means you can be your spouse's second marriage, but not first. Spouse can be divorced or you'll end their first marriage.

⋆˚✿˖° Sun conjunct Juno means Spouse is your Soulmate, destined partner.

⋆˚✿˖° Venus conjunct Groom/ Briede means Native will fall in love very hard for Spouse.

⋆˚✿˖° Jupiter conjunct Saturn can mean you won't feel attracted to your FS when you meet them, you might not even be interested in them at first.

⋆˚✿˖° Saturn opposite Sun means Spouse has daddy issues.

⋆˚✿˖° Uranus conjunct Neptune 5H means Native can change Spouse's opinion about children. Spouse can have illusions about it and Native can cause a transformation on their desires.

⋆˚✿˖° Groom/ Briede conjunct Venus 1H means FS can have love at first sight and be the one chasing/ being interested first.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

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nasa · 1 year

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Let's Explore a Metal-Rich Asteroid 🤘

Between Mars and Jupiter, there lies a unique, metal-rich asteroid named Psyche. Psyche’s special because it looks like it is part or all of the metallic interior of a planetesimal—an early planetary building block of our solar system. For the first time, we have the chance to visit a planetary core and possibly learn more about the turbulent history that created terrestrial planets.

Here are six things to know about the mission that’s a journey into the past: Psyche.

1. Psyche could help us learn more about the origins of our solar system.

After studying data from Earth-based radar and optical telescopes, scientists believe that Psyche collided with other large bodies in space and lost its outer rocky shell. This leads scientists to think that Psyche could have a metal-rich interior, which is a building block of a rocky planet. Since we can’t pierce the core of rocky planets like Mercury, Venus, Mars, and our home planet, Earth, Psyche offers us a window into how other planets are formed.

2. Psyche might be different than other objects in the solar system.

Rocks on Mars, Mercury, Venus, and Earth contain iron oxides. From afar, Psyche doesn’t seem to feature these chemical compounds, so it might have a different history of formation than other planets.

If the Psyche asteroid is leftover material from a planetary formation, scientists are excited to learn about the similarities and differences from other rocky planets. The asteroid might instead prove to be a never-before-seen solar system object. Either way, we’re prepared for the possibility of the unexpected!

3. Three science instruments and a gravity science investigation will be aboard the spacecraft.

The three instruments aboard will be a magnetometer, a gamma-ray and neutron spectrometer, and a multispectral imager. Here’s what each of them will do:

Magnetometer: Detect evidence of a magnetic field, which will tell us whether the asteroid formed from a planetary body

Gamma-ray and neutron spectrometer: Help us figure out what chemical elements Psyche is made of, and how it was formed

Multispectral imager: Gather and share information about the topography and mineral composition of Psyche

The gravity science investigation will allow scientists to determine the asteroid’s rotation, mass, and gravity field and to gain insight into the interior by analyzing the radio waves it communicates with. Then, scientists can measure how Psyche affects the spacecraft’s orbit.

4. The Psyche spacecraft will use a super-efficient propulsion system.

Psyche’s solar electric propulsion system harnesses energy from large solar arrays that convert sunlight into electricity, creating thrust. For the first time ever, we will be using Hall-effect thrusters in deep space.

5. This mission runs on collaboration.

To make this mission happen, we work together with universities, and industry and NASA to draw in resources and expertise.

NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory manages the mission and is responsible for system engineering, integration, and mission operations, while NASA’s Kennedy Space Center’s Launch Services Program manages launch operations and procured the SpaceX Falcon Heavy rocket.

Working with Arizona State University (ASU) offers opportunities for students to train as future instrument or mission leads. Mission leader and Principal Investigator Lindy Elkins-Tanton is also based at ASU.

Finally, Maxar Technologies is a key commercial participant and delivered the main body of the spacecraft, as well as most of its engineering hardware systems.

6. You can be a part of the journey.

Everyone can find activities to get involved on the mission’s webpage. There's an annual internship to interpret the mission, capstone courses for undergraduate projects, and age-appropriate lessons, craft projects, and videos.

You can join us for a virtual launch experience, and, of course, you can watch the launch with us on Oct. 12, 2023, at 10:16 a.m. EDT!

For official news on the mission, follow us on social media and check out NASA’s and ASU’s Psyche websites.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

#Psyche #Mission to Psyche #asteroid #NASA #exploration #technology #tech #spaceblr #solar system #space #not exactly #metalcore #but close?

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unbearableblog · 9 months

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My Christmas gift for you.

Messages (Carmen Berzatto x reader)

Summary Carmy’s actions towards the reader might eventually lead to consequences.

Word count ~2,8k

Warnings 18+, No use of Y/N (there is rarely a name but it’s just for aesthetics, you are welcome to insert your own name), action set in S2 so possible spoilers, cursing, angst, relationship problems, possible mentions of smut

A/N God this took a lot from me! Legit flew to Copenhagen haha. I am very grateful to each and every one of you who read, liked, commented or reposted and supported this! I would never think that this would happen. I hope you’re not going to crucify me over the plot. Thank you so much for waiting!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Chapter 1 (the one with departure, Denmark, and desserts)

Things were a little different at the Beef lately.

“Richie, shut the fuck up!”

“You first, child!”

Well, maybe not so different. But they certainly were different with you. Amongst the neverending screaming, cursing, and fighting, you somehow survived getting shot at, losing the power, dealing with the IRS, and everything else that constantly went wrong with this cursed place. The amount of experience you had in this short amount of time has topped anything you've done before. You couldn't catch your breath. But that's what you do for the ones you love, right?

It's been some time since you started helping Carmen with the Beef - serving the customers on a particularly busy day, calming down Carmen, sometimes giving Richie a pep talk when he needed to keep his shit together. But mostly you just chatted with Sydney and sat in the kitchen, doing your college assignments while watching Carmen work. You could never get tired of it - he looked so professional and smart. It was his element. Well, when everything was going well.

The entire time, you were there, talking to Carmen as he prepped for the day, giving him a smile and getting one back, just watching him go on about his day and move so swiftly like a well-oiled machine. Seeing him in an apron drove you wild. You'd have to stop yourself from going up to him and touching his god-given curls or rubbing his back through his white T-shirt (but more often you failed to do so). Most of the days you patiently waited to go home and show him everything that was on your mind all day.

One time he caught you staring, mind far away from the Beef. His voice brought you back.

“Are you thinking about my fingers again?” He said while putting his arms at his hips, almost offended.

You bit your lip and looked at him with a guilty smile.

His hand went up to brush through his curls.

“You’re not gonna get any work done if you keep thinking about that. And with the way you look at me, can say the same thing about myself.”

You whine and playfully pout, not wanting to keep studying.

“Come on, princess,” he comes closer to you and whispers in your ear so that his whole voice goes through your body and his lips brush your ear “And when we get home you can tell me all about it while you sit on my ‘pretty’ cock”

Sometimes he would explain what he was doing or why things weren't going the way they were supposed to, sometimes you would share something you found fascinating in your assignment. He would always listen, even if he didn't fully understand, but you knew he was trying to. It made you feel so special - you got the whole attention of this hot 3 Michelin star chef, covered in tattoos and buff, but he looked at you with such care and softness. His muscular arms touched and wrapped around you with strong tenderness and appreciation. Sometimes you saw the same attention to the details in the food he was making - he really cared.

Everything changed after the Beef closed down.

Carmen was a little taken aback when you told him you were going to Copenhagen with Marcus. You were at the restaurant, like any other day, figuring out a thousand things that were wrong before the opening, when you heard Denmark being mentioned amongst the guys.

“Someone's going to Denmark?” you asked, turning around on your chair.

“Marcus is,” Carmen brushed off, and continued having his conversation with him.

“Wait, to Copenhagen? Why?” you felt ignored.

“Uhh, to learn everything about desserts,” Marcus answered. Carmen didn't even look in your direction.

“When? Why didn't you tell me?” you sounded excited because you were, but your heart felt like it was placed into an iron cage. Carmen knew how much that city meant to you, and to not even mention that your friend was going there felt neglectful. But maybe you were overreacting - he was probably busy, he doesn't have to tell you everything, and it surely wasn't for long anyway.

Berzatto shrugged his shoulders. “Why? It's just for some time.”

“I was actually thinking about going there too. I haven't seen my sister in a while. Maybe we could fly together? I know everything there,” you were ready to help Marcus as a bonus. You really appreciated him as a friend, and returning the favor for all those delicious pastries he made at your request would be terrific. You could also use a fucking break from Chiberia.

“For real? That would be awesome!” Marcus exclaimed with his arms, his smile releasing your heart from its prison.

“Uhh… yeah-yeah, sure, I guess,” Carmen squinted his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “I- uhhh, have to go out for a minute. Umm,” he swallowed “-meet that rep for me, yeah?”

An entire work shift of flying has gone by the time you started seeing the bronze-roofed houses sprinkled like decorations on a Red Velvet cake. You made Marcus promise you not to judge the country by its airport, as it usually was surprisingly dirty. Nevertheless, there were hints of what life there was like - a burst of energy, culture, and flavour. You walked what seemed like forever through the endless white halls with blue sections, wondering how many times Carmen had been here and whether you ever crossed paths. You kind of wished he was there. Your excitement rubbed off on your friend - Marcus was beaming with happiness, anticipating your time there. He knew it was going to be life-changing.

The moment you went outside felt like you could breathe again. The weight of The Beef, Carmen, stress, problems problems problems dropped off, was left behind, and never got on the plane. Your chest wasn't encircled by snakes that only pushed until you suffocated. Your mind was clear.

You helped Marcus settle in his awesome boat, and after reading the owner's note to "keep the water in Coco's bowl", searched for the cat for like 20 minutes. Unfortunately, your efforts were fruitless.

Marcus only let you go back alone because you assured him of your safety (you gave him a speech about how it wasn't like Chicago) and experience. Still, he made you text him when you got to your sister's. The two of you were always trying to make your relationship work, but the distance didn't make it easy. That did not mean that you were going to give up - you were used to making a lot of effort for the people you love. She was ecstatic and grateful to see her little sister. The rest of the evening was spent eating, sharing your lives, and talking about your mysterious boyfriend.

“I don’t know, he’s just so… distant. He always leaves somewhere, does god knows what when he knows we don’t have much time! Sometimes it feels like I care about the restaurant more than him. Which is so weird because he was so into it before! He planned the whole thing! And I am so fucking stressed from it all! I never even wanted to work in a restaurant but I was there for him!” you expressed your pain very loudly.

“Have you thought of… breaking up with him?”

You exhale and almost completely give up mentally.

“I don’t know… it feels like we don’t have much of a relationship at all anymore. We don’t go out, all the time is spent on the opening. I swear sometimes I’m there just for our friends and his sister, I can’t just leave them without help while he’s wandering somewhere”.

You couldn’t sleep because being in bed without Carmy by your side felt plain wrong. You were also jetlagged which meant that the peaceful world of Morpheus was avoiding you like a plague. The same thing happened to Marcus, so you both were just texting about what you were doing.

“idk, i gave up and went to get some tea” you typed, a warm mug in your hand as you cozied up on the couch with a blanket.

“yeah, same shit here. bout time to get ready anyway”

Your whole house was asleep, and probably would be so for a while. It was too dark to go out for your liking. Boredom kind of crept in.

“what is it exactly u're gonna do there?”

“uhhh i wish i knew. make some things from the pics i showed u i guess”

“can i watch?” Was it too much of a request? Who even knows if you'll be allowed there?

“yeah i think so. i'd love to not have to do this alone”

You smile, finish your tea, and get up to find some clothes.

You finally reached the place and were met by a tall man in an apron. He introduced himself as Luca, and you heard a very sultry voice softened by an accent. You wondered where he was from.

“I'm Chef Marcus. That's Liv. Is it cool if she just hangs around and watches me?”

“Hi,” you smile at him.

“Hello. You could also join in. What kind of a chef are you?”

“Oh I'm not, I'm -”

“Well, with the amount of time Liv spends in our kitchen listening to every word of the CDC, I'd say she might as well be a chef by now,” Marcus only half-jokes. You give him a look anyway.

Luca prepared everything and soon he and Marcus were working. You were sitting on the other side of the table, able to see everything. Only now you were starting to notice how strong he was, you have to be, you thought, if you stay on your feet all day. His arms were also covered in tattoos that didn't seem to make sense, like Carmy's.

“So who are you?” Luca's question doesn't sound rude, just curious.

“I'm his boss' girlfriend,” you nod as you speak.

“Wow,” he seems to be thinking something, but maybe it's just him being focused on putting the peanuts on dessert, “What are you doing here?”

“Uhh, visiting my sister? It was time and I thought Marcus here could use someone to show him around. As for here, I was really jetlagged and bored.”

Luca was amazing. The way he coached Marcus even when he made mistakes was consistently calm, stern, and leading. Not once did any of you feel berated or hear his voice go louder, all you knew was to just try again. His entire presence excreted stability and equilibrium.

After an extensive lesson, it was Marcus' turn to try. All of you leaned closer to the dessert in hopes of seeing more. You held your breath as you watched Marcus carefully place a tiny piece in the clockwise direction of the dessert when in the blurred background of your vision you felt something change. Instinctively, you looked up from the dish, and your eyes met the gaze of your friend's teacher. There he was, almost lying on the table, looking at you. As if he wasn't busy right now. As if the dessert didn't matter. Hypnotized. “Got it!” Marcus smiled and stood straight up. “Great job, chef,” Luca switched back to Marcus.

Suddenly a firework of spice embraced you in its scent, making your head go round from the all-encompassing desire to taste it.

“Oh my god, are those cinnamon buns?” you had to put your hands on the counter to keep yourself up. “Yeah,” Luca stood straight. “You like them?” “They smell amazing!” you could swear you saw a quick prideful smile brush Luca's lips.

“They are her favourite. And she's very specific about'em too,” Marcus threw you under the bus.

Luca seems interested. “In what way?”

“I'm not, okay? I just believe that cinnamon buns should have a lot of sugar and cinnamon, or else they're just buns. There was this place near the park, and the pastry they sold was like 90% dough. I didn't like that at all” you defend yourself, and Marcus scoffs, having heard you rant about it many times at The Beef.

“Abomination,” Luca shakes his head.

“Exactly! I love it when there is so much sugar that it's oozing out, that's how it'd supposed to be.”

Your lighthearted banter somehow led to Luca opening up and talking about his life and experience. He also shared a couple of stories about determination, his acceptance of not being the best, and some of his failures. Soon all of you were joking around and laughing at your pasts. You felt your heart warm up to him and thought that leaving the house was a good idea.

Marcus stepped outside to check on his mom. He called her sitter as often as he could, and every time you hoped that everything would be alright. Luca was silently doing his work, kneading some dough. It was a demanding process, but so meditative, and you couldn't help but float away watching his big hands grab and squeeze the smooth dough, throwing it back onto the table occasionally, his long fingers dug into it, leaving an impression. “So where is he now?” you ask. “Who?” “The chef who was better than you. Where is he now?” you wondered if Carmen knew him or told you about him. “Well, you tell me. Apparently, opening up a new restaurant,” the chef said, as he threw a careless nod in your direction. Huh? Your heart drops. What? You let out a nervous scoff. “You're saying it was… Carmen??” Your question was met with a simple nod as he kept working. “Carmen Berzatto, the chef that was better than you at everything?” you almost spell out. Luca just takes his eyes off the dough and watches your reaction. He is also confused. “God, he really is the best?” the question sounds more like an exhale. “People keep saying it, but I guess I didn't realize” you sit down, defeated, and stare off. Your mind keeps pacing - what happened to Carmen? How did he go from being the best to being a yelling mess of chaos? Why is someone who looked up to him so calm and collected but still successful? Why can't he be like that? “You sound surprised. What, he doesn't feel like it?” He asks while kneading the dough, this time slower and a little softer. You look at him, then shake your head away and look down. You want to tell him everything about the way Carmen treats you, and how different that is from what your beginning used to be, how he doesn't appreciate you even though you spent so much time in and on The Beef, and how unfair that is, and have his deep voice tell you the answer, but you can't. That would be weird. Luca notices your hesitation. “You know, when we worked together, he would often be… difficult,” there is a pause after he says it because he is reading your face, trying to understand if he's walking on thin ice. He isn't, so he continues. “Partly why I didn't become better than him was because he wouldn't let me.” “Yeah, he shared something like that.” His brows went a little higher, and his grip on the dough hardened and stayed there. “My point is, being with a person like that can't be easy. Man, we only worked together and I already wanted to smother him, can't imagine being in a bloody relationship,” his smile makes you laugh and for a second you forget every bad thing in the world.

Later that day you wanted to call Carmen. “Carm, you free?” You wished to tell him everything - how much you loved the city, how nice his friend was, the fun you were having, and how good this was for you. Kinda wanted to beat his ass for being so mean to Luca too. “not rn, Liv, busy”

Of course.

“Olivia! Come here!” your sister screamed to get your attention. You noticed she was standing at the door, talking to somebody, so you got up and approached her. “What's up?” you asked. She closed the door and turned to you, holding something in her hands. “It's a gift from your boyfriend,” she said in a teasing tone, and you could swear that the last time you saw her that giddy was in high school. “What? How do you know?” A drop of hope celebrated its birth in your chest. “The delivery guy said it's from a chef,” the last word she playfully stretched out, so it came out a little funny, like Tina says it. You couldn't believe it. There it was, a white box carefully tied with a red ribbon. Finally Carmen realised how distracted he was and decided to apologize. Obviously, you were gone, so he missed you. Your heart filled with warmth and you smiled to yourself - you knew things would get better. You take the hefty precious gift from your sister's hands, sit on the couch, and open it with anticipation. Inside, 9 breathtaking gourmet cinnamon rolls with caramelized sugar barely fitting, leaking out of the mouthwatering, well-kneaded dough. And a note.

"You deserve all the best in the world - Luca"

I hope you enjoyed it! Part 2 might come quicker if you comment how you liked it

Snippet from the next chapters

🏷️ Tagged everyone in the comments! If you want to be excluded, just let me know♥️ @carma-fanficaddict @eternallyvenus @sia2raw @helloheyhihowdyheya @soursopsista @m1dnightsnackz @custarrds

Dividers by @saradika

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tofupixel · 2 months

Note

Thank you for getting me to finally try pixel art! I‘ve always wanted to get into pixel art but I never knew what to start with and always ended up procrastinating. Your blog and the post you made on learning pixel art were what finally pushed me to give it a go. It was really helpful and I managed this little animation in Libresprite.

I definitely want to improve and your art is like the ultimate goal lol. Do you have any tips or instructions for how to get better or on what to focus on in the future? I‘d appreciate any kind of criticism/input you are willing to give! How do you manage to make such gigantic and beautiful landscapes?

thank you!! and i'm so happy you decided to give it a real go, you're doing great already!! the rendering on the body and the pink shading is really nice.

i can help a little with animation stuff but i'm not an expert, ill write something out about backgrounds at the end

i hope you don't mind but i edited the sprite a little, just to illustrate some stuff

🤺Animation stuff

i added an extra frame near the top of the arc so it slows down. this is called ease or slow in/out and usually happens at the beginning and end of movements. u can do even more slow but this is just a quick version

i also removed the middle frame (where the tail is straight down) to make the swing appear a bit more powerful. this could be the principle of timing in the same video. you can exaggerate smears if you do this, its up to you!! lately i tend to exaggerate stuff a lot, things arent super noticable in motion

i also got a good bit of advice from nickwoz that helped me, basically when you begin to animate, it really puts the rest of the sprite being still into focus. try to think of how you could animate other parts of the body, even subtly. and sometimes if individual pixels stay still they can catch the eye in an unintended way as well, just keep it in mind!!

if you want to learn animation more, you could take a look at duelyst sprites, they have incredible idle and ability animations, i study them a lot

heres one i downloaded a long time ago. i recommend just downloading stuff you like and looking at it!! i have a huge collection of pixel inspo. slowing animations down can really help you understand whats going on. its just a bunch of simple elements put together that makes it look so good.

IF U WANT MORE RESOURCES/ARTISTS I REOCMMEND TO GO AND STUDY LMK!!! IM LIKE A WIKIPEDIA, I AM A BIG FAN of pixel art and love to share

🌿 OK lets talk about landscape stuff

it looks like you have art experience already, but im gonna talk as if youre a complete noob cos it might help some other people who read this!! ur doing great 👍

❓ how to learn: study (and practise a lot)

what i mean by study: draw it, copy it, try to understand it. you can try to change characteristics about it. changing the angle or lighting can help u understand how something works in 3 dimensions.

sometimes it takes time, dont worry, you will figure out your own style through doing studies, its all a process

❓ how to draw landscape details?

study pixel artists and how they do it recommendations: fool, slym, jubilee, deceiver

also please look at real world references!! you got to build that visual library

❓ how to learn composition?

study traditional artists or animation. i did a ton of studies of ghibli backgrounds which i think helped my growth a lot recommendations: arcane, studio ghibli, traditional painters

im gonna break down a piece as well and maybe that will help. this is one from 2022 but its still one of my most popular and its pretty simple too!!

if we remove all the fancy stuff what we have is actually really simple. just a few large, overlapping shapes that all point towards our focal point. it's the brightest area with the most contrast and many edges point into it.

go to pinterest or google and just search "pretty landscape" or "mountains" or something and you can see what i'm doing is nothing special or unique!! break it down into bigger shapes to begin with, its just different areas of material mostly.

and heres how you can make any landscape from any colours. purple sky or mountain? orange grass? ok !! it all works, it doesnt matter. i just blend the colours.

when parts of the landscape are in the distance they become closer to the sky colour as there is more "sky" in between you and it. its called atmospheric perspective. so if the sky was red, the clouds would fade towards red.

OKKK i dont know what else to say so i hope that helps!! honestly 90% of what i do is intuitive and hard for me to really explain, so you dont have to know The Rules, you just kind of pick up stuff as you go.

GL and thanks so much for showing me your art!! please keep going!! 💕💕💕💕

#qna #tutorial #pixel art tutorial #colour theory #animation

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pennyblossom-meta · 6 months

Text

L Lawliet: a deep dive into the expanded universe pt.01

EDIT (07/04/2024): Added some imgs.

Apologies for being so late to give this a follow up to @maevearcher's meta which can be found here and here. As usual, she’s made excellent points and I'll try to answer the ones which caught my eye.

Since this post ended up gaining a life of its own and becoming a bit too long, I’m splitting it in 2 or 3 parts. The core of the content for part 01 starts after under the button to Read More.

Here we talk about L's humanity.

I'll start with a disclaimer of my own: while I consider the manga as the base for the story, I'm very much open to the expanded DN universe as a complementary study of the characters and their motivations — sometimes even filling in the blanks for some of the background mysteries, such as the dynamics of Wammy's House and how L's successors view him.

To further clarify: by canon I mean the manga and any works by Tsugumi Ohba as the base material. I think @maevearcher and I are more or less in agreement on that, from what she mentioned in her own posts. As she said, the written word is indeed the baseline truth.

The expansion of the DN universe also has its own very special set of problems; for example, in many ways, L:CtW (L: Change the WorLd) commits the sin of overindulgence by throwing in considerations that, arguably, go against canon. Besides the ending where L lives for a final 23 days and Watari dies, the portrayal of Near in the movie (though in the novel he's also walking a fine line between becoming partially and very much OOC) is also a point of contention. I confess that I really wasn't fond of the way they portrayed Misa as a potential crush of L given canon insights on his opinion about Light whether in the role of Kira or as a person (pg.64 of Vol 13: How to Read, henceforth referred to as V13:HTR), but aligning L to become more humane and forgiving was at least interesting.

The same happens with the live action movies, the 2015 series, and the musical. At least the game Spiraling Trap isn't clashing with canon elements — that I could tell. The main plot is separate from the events of DN and the dating sim is a little slice of heaven into L's thoughts and emotions which I dearly love.

However, while L:CtW does indeed overindulge, the novel AN:LABB (Another Note: LA BB Murder Cases) gives us a singular glimpse into L through the eyes of Mello while keeping the events mostly accurate to the main plot, even with its slight deviations. It's certainly an optional perspective to the core of DN, but one that I always found very insightful. In V13:HTR, Obha mentions how he would’ve liked that there were more novels about L and how he solved previous cases, in a similar fashion to how Nisio Isin approaches AN:LABB. Here’s what Ohba says in pg.61 of V13:HTR:

(...) I didn’t think up much for [L’s] past. For him to be in such an influential position, he must have solved an amazing amount of cases, but I have no idea what kind of cases they were or how he solved them. But I would love for NISIOISIN, who wrote the Death Note novel, to write more stories about that (...)

This means that, to some extent, even the original author, Ohba, accepts AN:LABB as close to canon — or rather, as canon as it can get given the creative liberties allowed to a third party writer. To that point, Nisio Isin took L’s capoeira demonstration during the Yotsuba arc and made it a whole thing in the novel, with L taking inspiration from Naomi Misora’s skills. However, given the importance of that event, in the main story, L takes a while to even remember Misora so we can infer that either the stress of the case is getting to him OR learning capoeira and subsequently Misora’s role in it didn’t leave that much of an imprint on him because true canon didn’t really put that much emphasis into it. Either way, it’s an extrapolation that works. The technicalities can be overlooked given how ambiguous the scene is, as there is more than room to deduce a different past.

At the same time, I am an apologist that there are shared characteristics to L throughout the different mediums. My own interpretation of L's character has the manga as a baseline, but the expanded universe has taught me that there are sides to him that might not be so easy to perceive in dialogue bubbles or illustrations alone. Little things like L's addictive personality or the way he represses feelings are visible in the manga but caught beautifully in the novels, for example.

Going from the written word into the screen also represents a loss of the purity achievable only within the narrative in-book, where you can extrapolate and reach your own conclusions without being subject to the bias of sound and movement — though manga aggregates the visual to words and with it an altogether different dimension of meaning. That's one of the many things I enjoy about elements of fiction introduced through books; the stillness of the images and the narrative are more complex. Every time the baseline gets adapted, it loses something or that something shifts to fit into the perception of others. It ceases being pure and its essence is fundamentally shattered. Like the concept of a musical score on paper that gets played by an orchestra, there will never be an adaptation as good as the source material because it breaks the illusion.

While I can certainly extrapolate and accept the loss, I find that the written word from the novels, the tone of a VA's voice and the body movements in a live action still complement the manga well, despite narrative clashes.

About L’s humanity

Recently I've been re-watching the anime and it's incredible how Alessandro Juliani's understanding of the character resulted in such a well-rounded voice for L. I actually prefer the EN version to the JP because of the voice acting. It's superbly brilliant, even if L becomes less listless. He's certainly still aloof, but his aggressiveness is portrayed more vividly; in contrast, L in the manga feels a bit more dangerous and scary to me due to the range of expressions that the anime didn't manage to add in due to time and budget constraints. If anything L tones down how dangerous he can be. He does this on purpose so that he can trick and trip his adversary, as can be seen during his earlier interactions with Light. At times, L makes a mockery of himself, apparently placing himself in the position of a more demure individual while sharply observing the world around him and forming conclusions.

As to @maevearcher ‘s first point:

(...) An image of this lonely autistic genius, locked inside the confines of his ways, waiting for the right person to come along and save him from the banes of his solitary existence…until he meets Light and realises there’s someone out there who he can relate to, for understanding and stuff. I personally don’t buy too much into that.

The depth to which L relates to Light can be overestimated, but not without reason. Theirs is mostly an adversarial relationship with varying deviations throughout the expanded universe, but if we solely consider the manga then we get this comment from Ohba regarding whether L has any friends on pg.64 of V13: HTR:

Nope. And when he says that Light is his first friend that’s a big lie. He never considers him a friend. He probably secretly thinks really negative things about him.

During the Yotsuba arc, L is at a disadvantage. Light has turned the tables, tricked him into what Beyond Birthday could not do and thus gained a solid position into rendering L almost powerless to charge him. To elaborate on the latter point: BB wanted to create the perfect, unsolvable crime to humiliate L, making him lose, and thus “spend the rest of his life trembling in fear of B’s shadow” (pg.163, AA:LABB); L would know who the guilty party was but wouldn’t be able to prove it or bring that person to justice. As such, L would not be able to solve the mystery. At the end of the novel BB fails due to Misora’s quick thinking and that’s that. However, Light has several advantages that BB lacked, starting with his own social position, charm and the impeccable reputation of a model student and the prized son of a police chief who helps solve cases every now and then.

We can argue that, what truly happens in manga canon, is L and Light showing how much they respect each other for their detective skills, forming a sort of strange kinship within the cat and mouse game, especially when Light loses his memories of the Death Note. The game thrills them and they enjoy pushing each other’s buttons. No one else has ever challenged them like this. That being said, the first time they meet up for coffee after the tennis match, L is observing Light like a hawk, keeps testing him for a reaction and seems somewhat irritated at how much Light talks. I would venture a guess that L doesn’t actually like Light that much, even when he loses his memories. He might even find Light a nuisance when he waves the flag of morality — though this is a common problem L is confronted with when dealing with the Task Force, in particular Chief Yagami and Aizawa. This also places him at another gruesome disadvantage, as he’s surrounded by people who openly dislike and criticise his methods. The Task Force is also extremely wary of the way L pursues Light and think he’s being stubborn without proof to substantiate his reasoning. Ironically, it’s Aizawa, one of L’s most critical subordinates, who initiates Light’s downfall years later once he starts to consider L’s suspicions in light of Near and Mello’s tactics.

Both L and Light respect the game, no matter where it takes them. I would further make an educated guess that Light even preyed on L’s vulnerabilities during the Yotsuba arc, predicting how L might fall into depression for failing at the game. Light was more than capable of understanding that L’s competitive and childish side would make him a sore loser, especially given that he had already “lost” the first round of battles just by showing his face. Even if there is a sliver of friendship between both during Light’s months of amnesia, it’s dead and buried the moment he becomes Kira again.

My conclusion here would be that, while what happened with Light was extreme, it was also somewhat similar to Beyond Birthday’s eternal enmity towards L: the challenge, the need to humiliate and take down the greatest detective, one of the most brilliant minds to ever walk the Earth. There are some notable quotes from AA:LABB that reference what it is to be L, surrounded by future challengers and individuals who both look up to L and want to prove they’re better than him:

Pg.69

By simple arithmetic, L's ability in 2002 was the equivalent of five ordinary investigative bureaus, and seven intelligence agencies (and by the time he faced off against Kira, those numbers had leapt upward several more notches). This is easy to think of as a reason to respect and admire someone, but let me say this as clearly as possible: that much ability in one human is extremely dangerous. Modern danger management techniques rely heavily on diffusing the risk, but his very existence was the exact opposite. In other words, if someone was planning to commit a crime, they could greatly increase their chances of getting away with it by simply killing L before they began. That was why L hid his identity Not because he was shy or because he never left the house. To ensure his own safety For a detective of L's ability, self-preservation and the preservation of world peace were one and the same, and it would not be correct to describe his actions as cowardly or self-centered.

Pg. 117

L was the goal of everyone in Wammy's House. Everyone of us wanted to surpass him. To step over him. To step on him. M did, N did, and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal.

Pg. 160:

B approached Naomi Misora, calling himself Rue Ryuzaki. Rue Ryuzaki - L.L. For anyone from Wammy's House, there could be no higher goal than identifying yourself with that letter - and Beyond Birthday seized this case as his chance.

One of the biggest problems with these quotes is that they paint a very complicated — and, ultimately, suffocating — picture of what it is like to be L. Ohba himself mentions Watari’s predisposition towards collecting geniuses from all over the world and what Wammy’s House has turned into, under the snippet for Watari’s character (pg.60 V13:HTR):

He’s a guy who cultivates detectives for fun. That’s kind of terrible, isn’t it?

Everyone profits from L. Watari becomes richer than ever. Wammy's House becomes breeding ground for geniuses who end up dreaming of a life where they enjoy constant thrill and challenge. However, in order to do so, the dream cannot be complete until the successor crushes the original; until M, N, B and A defeat L. At least one of L’s successors couldn’t handle the pressure and committed suicide. B, known as Backup, runs away from the orphanage and goes on a murder rampage. Having never met L in person, he deduces several personality quirks that the “original” demonstrates, going as far as exacerbating them in order to be creepy and repulsive. Mello, who boasts of having met L in person and being privy to stories about how he defeated several other detectives (then taking their aliases as a trophy) both fervently admires L and wants to step on him.

Step on him. That’s quite the turn of phrase. It does sound scary, doesn’t it? To be surrounded by people who would take the opportunity to pull you down, no matter how much they admire you. They want to be you, to prove that they’re better than you. It’s game and ego. Life and death. Winner and loser.

And that’s perhaps the most blatant summary in approved canon of what it is like to be L that we’ll ever get. We can, of course, argue that Watari cares about L. He’s not only his handler, but also the one who brought him into Wammy’s House. It’s fairly clear that he nurtured (and even enabled) some of L’s most distressing character traits, though I wouldn’t necessarily say it was with a purely utilitarian agenda. It’s perfectly acceptable to extrapolate how Watari might’ve wanted to keep L, a child of great intellectual genius, happy by allowing him to be challenged and properly educated. In fact, AN:LABB (pg. 145-46) even gives us L’s perspective on the kindness that justice can achieve, which is confirmed within the expanded universe to be similar to Watari’s teachings as L confronts Kujo in L:CtW.

"I have nothing to do with him," L said. "To be completely accurate, I do not even know B. He is simply someone I am aware of. But none of this affects my judgment. Certainly I was interested in this case, and began to investigate it because I knew who the killer was. But that did not alter the way I investigated it, or the manner in which my investigation proceeded. Naomi Misora, I cannot overlook evil. I cannot forgive it. It does not matter if I know the person who commits evil or not. I am only interested in justice." "Only... in justice... " Misora gasped. "Then ... nothing else matters?" "I wouldn't say that, but it is not a priority." “You won't forgive any evil, no matter what the evil is?" "I wouldn't say that, but it is not a priority." "'But..." Like a thirteen-year-old victim. "There are people who justice cannot save." Like a thirteen-year-old criminal. “And there are people who evil can save." "There are. But even so," L said, his tone not changing at all. As if gently admonishing Naomi Misora. “Justice has more power than anything else." "Power? By power ... you mean strength?" "No. I mean kindness." He said it so easily. Misora almost dropped the phone. L The century's greatest detective, L. The detective of justice, L. Who solved every case, no matter how difficult... " ...I misunderstood you, L." "Did you? Well, I'm glad we cleared that up."

I would, once again, venture another educated guess that, while Watari’s primary reasons for starting a program of successors to L was noble, it ultimately backfired on an individual level. Society wise, the letters, as L calls them in L:CtW, are a force for good. They solve crimes, help law forces around the world to keep peace. Some of them even become scientists like Dr Kujo — though she becomes the main antagonist in the spin-off novel. However, the pressure this kind of lifestyle fostered creates a group of individuals who are highly competitive and manipulative. Some, like A, can’t handle it. Even L has his own troubles, being called a reclusive sociopath, possibly by the police forces who treat him as a utility rather than a person. He’s someone they admire and resent, who is tolerated given how effective he is at cracking down cases.

This passage from L:CtW paints a grim picture of the way L suppresses his own feelings as he breaks down for not being able to prevent Maki from being kidnapped (pg. 150-51):

"Light...it hurts. My heart--" It was a hurt that L Lawliet had suppressed, that he had to suppress in order to continue his existence as the peerless Detective L. How had the world's top detective been described in regard to facets of his personality rather than his ability as a detective? He had been called a kinky detective who relished bizarre murders, a human computer capable only of measuring mass murders in terms of cold numbers, a reclusive sociopath. What L thought of such estimations of his personality only L could know. But no one could truly understand L. How L did not and could not forget the faces of thousands of victims. Who could comprehend the man who had lived his life, and had to live confronting all the lives that ended prematurely, the tears of grief-stricken survivors, the devaluing of life as a daily reality. How was it possible to measure the pain of such a man? Was it a strain so heavy that L's back curved under all its weight? Was it an agony so terribly to leave the indelible dark circles around his eyes? Was it a feeling so bitter that every bite he took needed to be coated in sugar? The chronically rounded shoulders, the inevitable dark circles, the eccentric tastes--L suppressed the pain of being a champion of justice, but the evidence of the pain was moulded into his very body.”

Even within the clear disparity from the official canon, this passage slaps. It humanises L further, making the detective become a person and not just a machine who is content with his lifestyle. I know there’s a tendency for those who prefer the manga to see L as someone who is unabashedly himself and perfectly alright with the life he lives. I would argue that the Kira case was not only the most difficult challenge L ever faced, but also a series of moments where he had to be at his best — and at his worst. He had to do everything within his power to solve the case, not only because of his pride but because of what he considers to be his sense of justice. Saying with such confidence ‘I am justice’ is a rather cheesy and childish thing to say out loud, though I read it as both what started as a child’s stubbornness and what L became, as he positioned himself as a barrier to prevent crimes.

L suppresses himself, represses his emotions; he tries to control them, as Fu Takashi says in an interview, he is “dependent on games or battles of the mind”. Perhaps this is a consequence of the foundations of his personality. Despite L’s innate stubbornness, it could be argued that this is as much his fault as it is Watari’s, who didn’t nurture L’s social skills as he should have when he was a child. By not having an outlet outside of his hobby, L is trapped in a prison of his own making. Superficially, L is a “smart guy who hates losing”, but what about the rest? What about the things that make him human, the connections with others? In the same interview, it is mentioned how L feels lonely and needs affection. But what affection can you get when you isolate yourself from the world and keep everyone at arm’s length? He’s not a machine. Even machines become obsolete with time, and need outside help to keep functioning.

As for the latter point, if everyone around L is trying to step on him, humiliate him and surpass him, then it’s only natural that his emotional defences would be up. Aside from Watari, whose loyalty he can count on, he’s alone. L has no one else. And everyone around him will have a dangerous, significant probability to betray him.

Next in part 02: About romance, having someone close and intimate, the meaning of the Monster speech.

Tagging @rinneroraito and @sharkiethrts who might be interested in this meta.

#death note #l lawliet #death note meta #light yagami #spiraling trap #l lawliet headcanons #l lawliet x reader #watari #mello #mello death note #nate river #mihael keehl #near death note #beyond birthday #another note #l change the world #l death note #l lawliet death note

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dawnholde-if · 9 months

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⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

╔═══════《✧》═══════╗

WELCOME TO DAWNHOLDE

INSTITUTE FOR THE ARCANE

╚═══════《✧》═══════╝

Dear [REDACTED],

Hello, and thank you for applying to the Dawnholde Institute, located in Solador, Land of Eclipses. We're pleased to offer you acceptance to the Institute as a first-year student. During your time here, you'll strengthen your specialty magic, as well as branch out to other types to diversify your skill set. We boast the top magic programs in the land for students, with fulfilling extracurriculars and a competitive environment designed to help every young mage and magician thrive, as well as students from a variety of backgrounds as a testament to the diversity of our world.

We look forward to your arrival, and hope that your years with us will be filled with enlightenment.

Praise be to the Sun,

Eruless Chromavere, Head of Magical Studies

You are the firstborn child of the Monarch of the island nation of Sparia, located in the treacherous Sacred Sea. You're set to inherit the throne once the current Monarch has passed on, but you could want nothing less. Becoming the greatest mage in the land is your end goal, so one night you flee to Solador, home to the Dawnholde Institute for the Arcane, the best magic school in the realm. It's been your dream to go there ever since you were young.

Keep your identity hidden to stay out of prying eyes and out of the way of your parent's spies trying to bring you back. Make allies and enemies while keeping up with your studies, join a club (or not), and... fall in love ? That's not part of the plan, but things happen, just don't let it distract you.

Play as male, female, or nonbinary and choose your pronouns

Decide which magic to specialize in, be it elemental, healing, object manipulation, or a number of any other kinds.

Meet 6 RO's, 3 of which are gender selectable

Take lessons in various magical subjects on your quest for greatness

Academic Rivals to Friends (to Lovers ?)

There is a dragon guy :)

Summon one of 4 familiars

Avoid the drama that plagues all schools

Name: Finch K. Lorelai

Pronouns: They/Them Heritage: Half-Elf Magical Specialty: Necromancy Year: 2nd Brief Description: Finch comes from a long lineage of necromancers, is widely considered one of the only child prodigies to come out of that field, and possesses the ability to speak to the dead. They're ambitious and your self-proclaimed academic rival. They don't like sharing the top spot and is antagonistic towards you, even more so if they learn your true identity. The lines between disdain and affection are very fine, however, and there's the possibility to sweep their feet out from under them when they least expect it.

Name: Desily Bramblecove

Pronouns: She (default)/They (selectable) Heritage: Faefolk (Pixie) Magical Specialty: Shapeshifting Year: 3rd Brief Description: Desily is a difficult spirit to pin down, often doing what she wants when she wants to. She loves playing hard to get and causing general uproar, then slipping away to let others deal with the aftermath. She's fickle, even for a fae, but obsessive. If you're not careful, you may fall into her grasp without even realizing it. If you so choose to spend time with her, be prepared to partake in any schemes she may cook up.

Name: Merrick Midae

Pronouns: They (default)/He/She (selectable) Heritage: Merfolk (Anglerfish) Magical Specialty: Light Manipulation Year: 1st Brief Description: A shy, not-very-little merperson who came to land to study all manners of magic. A jack of all trades, Merrick is a little good at most magic, but they wanted to learn more about what was beyond the sea. They're not the bravest, but they'd do anything for a close friend. Perhaps they'll take a liking to you.

Name: Caidrith, Ruler of Rime

Pronouns: He (default)/She/They (selectable) Heritage: Draconic Royalty Magical Specialty: Ice and Temperature manipulation Year: 4th Brief Description: Caidrith, or simply Caid, as you know him, is the only person at Dawnholde who knows of your past. Caid is the second-born to the rulers over northern dragonkin. Though his chances of accquiring the throne are low, it's better to be safe than sorry. He enrolled in the school to learn self defense, then stuck around for the people. You've known him since childhood, as your parents often had strategy meetings together. He can be stoic, but you know Caid cares for you, though maybe not in a way you know of.

Name: Rycharde, Knight of the Tainted Lands

Pronouns: He/Him Heritage: Catfolk Magical Specialty: Protection and Healing Year: 3rd Brief Description: Rycharde hails from a plague-ridden kingdom on it's last legs. Catfolk are usually able to use magic due to distant Fae ancestery, but Rycharde has no innate magic. Instead, he draws on the patron deity of his city for his power, making him a magician instead of a mage. He's proud of his failing homeland and devoted to his city, but that's not the only thing he could turn his attention to. After all, temptation is one hell of a motivator.

Name: Cere Quicrow

Pronouns: She/Her Heritage: Manifested Air Elemental (Birdfolk appearance) Magical Specialty: Divination Year: 1st Brief Description: Cere takes the form of a birdfolk, but is a manifested elemental in reality. She takes great pride in her appearance and is quite vain, but hates being the center of attention and keeps to herself. She's flighty and a perfectionist, leaving herself conflicted on what she really wants, be it freedom and impulsive decisions or to finish her "secret project." Maybe she'll let you in on it if you're nice to her?

DEMO [TBA] \\ CAST LIST [TBA] \\ ASKBOX \\ DEV DISCORD \\ CARRD [TBA]

#dawnholde if #finch lorelai #desily bramblecove #merrick midae #caidrith ror #rycharde kotl #cere quicrow #interactive fiction #upcoming if #if wip #if game #demo wip #demo tba #if #scared as fuck to post this but im excited too !

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foxconfessorandthewolf · 5 months

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Okay, so I’m a bit wine drunk but I don’t think I’ve ever really articulated why I love Snarry together and I’m currently trying to finish a fic after taking a three-year-hiatus from writing these two, so this is probably a good exercise!

I’m a bit on the older side of fandom, having been a fanartist and fervent reader since 2003, so my connection was really sparked during that time between OOTP and HBP when Snape and Harry were at some of their most clashing and deeply vitriolic, forced together into hateful vulnerability by Occulmency lessons. Every scene between them was electric, laced with tension as we truly did not know how things would go, or even where Snape’s true loyalties lay. He was an unknown, tied up with Harry’s own family’s mysterious past, connected to Harry in a myriad of odd ways that few other characters were, and - as a rivals-to-lovers lover - I was fascinated by him. From that first moment when they lock eyes in the Great Hall and that frisson of pain shoots through Harry’s scar, I desperately wanted to know who the hell this man was and his story. I think a lot of Snarry shippers come to the ship with a special appreciation for Severus Snape’s character himself. He’s such an incredibly drawn character, rich with complexity, complicated and pretty fucked up, with clearly-held passions, hatreds, weaknesses, and motivations. He’s emotional in a way a lot of other characters aren’t, though I think he’d loathe to hear that. And his character voice! It’s unique and pitch-perfect. You always know exactly who is speaking with his lines. Honestly, the way he evolved from a spy/traitor stock character to become so multifaceted and enigmatic is a masterpiece of characterization, and it’s an aspect of why I’m drawn to him - there’s still so much about his origins and well, what his damage was, that we don’t know. Because of this, I especially love Snarry fics that delve into character studies of him, trying to explore all the shadows left behind. I also admit I have a preference for interpreting Snape as morally grey. I like him petty, sharp-tongued, ambitious, with an incredibly liquid definition of what is right and wrong. He’s self-interested, dripping with disdain, and really doesn’t see that as a problem. What happens to him when he deeply falls in love?

I love a ship that makes me work for it. There’s no obvious line of how Snape and Harry might wind up together, so each fic is a wealth of possibilities of bringing these two together despite their roadblocks. As I mentioned, I’m big fan of animosity in a ship. Give me rivals, give me enemies, give me the sparking passions, the sharp fury, the way they stoke each others’ emotions and seek to hurt, the racing hearts, the raised hackles, the intense emotional reaction to another person. Just throw it at me. I devour that shit. I love the messy and taboo nature of their relationship, the complications raising from their age difference, temperaments, and largely similar and shared traumas. There’s an interesting element of Snape being a foil to James Potter, and how that relates to Harry and their past. Basically, this shit is really good potting soil for incredible fucking fics, packed with nutrients.

The shared natures of their traumas, like Voldemort and each being forgotten and abused as children and how they might be able to understand each other and bond from it is also something that’s fascinating to explore. I love when a writer pushes on Snape’s bruises, looking to make them hurt, cracking his sardonic brain open and rooting around in there, and I love when they compare and contrast to Harry’s. There’s a seductiveness to how Snape is so obsessed with Harry, fixated on his Boy Who Lived heroic reputation, clearly dripping with envy. What, beyond jealousy, might draw Snape to Harry and what, other than hatred, might draw Harry to Snape?

It’s all this, the passionate, electric, dangerous nature of their relationship; the way their characters contrast each other yet have surprising connections; and the question of finding solace that keeps me here, 21 years later. I’ve had wines less complex than this ship. They’re fascinating. They’re messy. They’re everything.

[crossposted from a reddit comment I just left, and wanted to share with y’all]

#snarry #i need them to hatefuck it out #i need snape to be cracked open and see all the tender parts fall out

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 8 months

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Hey raven, there gonna be a Crowley ssr card (im not joking)

[Referencing this post!]

RIP Cater 💀 Now he knows how Trey feels whenever his birthday gets overshadowed by Halloween event news…

It’s true what they say, boys (nb). Cope hard enough and your wishes and prayers for NPCs to become actual cards will become a reality… Happened with Rollo, now it’s happening with Crowley—and presumably other NRC Staff. (I wonder if Year 4 of JP anniversary will feature staff in the groovy with Grim??)

IT’S SO FUNNY THAT THEY MADE THE MOST USELESS STAFF MEMBER THE FIRST STAFF CARD 😭 I thought for sure they would “save the best for last” but I guess Crowley isn’t really “the best”, huh… BUT HEY, at least now we can chuck him into battles against OBs and make him be a responsible adult and actually work to earn his coin 💰

I hope we get vignettes and not just furniture for Crowley! It would be cool to have a short story that centers around him, even if it’s just him goofing around and being unproductive. I’ll happily take a day in the life of Crowley anytime!!

I have so many questions about how Crowley would work gameplay-wise?????? ?? ? ? ????? ?? ? I wonder if we’ll be able to make staff members attend class…? But that’s odd, isn’t it?? Why would teachers be studying? And what happens if there’s a situation where like. Crowley is a student but also Crowley crashed in for a Special Lesson segment? Double Crowley?!?!?!?! The Spiderman meme where they point at each other?? Or will staff not be able to attend lessons at all and you just have to feed them materials to level them up outside of class… (You know what, leeching off of resources that the students worked hard to farm is very in-character for Crowley, so if this is the case then I won’t be upset 😂) What about Duo Magic??? Will Crowley actually be able to combo with a student??? Or will it be with Grim or whatever staff card is coming next...?

His card art looks hella cool ✨ It’s really atmospheric but also has a bit of that unique Crowley flair if you notice where exactly he’s seated (on his own damn desk www) while posing so sassily. And is that the word RAVEN literally making up the teeth at the end of his key-like staff????? That’s so Crowley of him…

What I am slightly concerned about is…

***Spoilers for the full Crowley card illustration + book 7 main story below the cut!!!***

… Why is the composition of Malleus’s Dorm Uniform card and Crowley’s card kinda similar…

Malleus is clearly turned to the side, but the slight worm’s eye view is the same and the lighting is somewhat close (relatively dark)… and both of them are holding staves while sitting. Plus the timing of Crowley dropping mid-book 7… AND sharing elements in Malleus’s Masquerade (Crowley notoriously wears a mask) groovy of all things (similar angle, chandelier overhead)… With the fan theory of Crowley actually being Malleus’s missing dad at an all-time fever pitch in popularity, this has me a little worried (since I personally think the theory doesn’t have a lot of solid proof and leaves a lot to be explained in terms of his actions).

Maybe that’s me overthinking it, but TWST has been known to intentionally do parallel or mirrored designs before (though I’ll admit this instance isn’t as clear cut as previous instances). I’m just pointing out what I see and I’ll leave the final judgment up to you, dear readers! I’m sure the “Crowley is Malleus’s dad” theorists will be in a frenzy picking apart these details www

#twst #twisted wonderland #Malleus Draconia #Dire Crowley #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #spoilers #notes from the writing raven #question #Rollo Flamme #Grim #twst theory #twst theories #twisted wonderland theories #twisted wonderland theory #Cater Diamond #Trey Clover #Spiderman

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tunamayojazz · 10 months

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Love your art, any Toge/Yuuta fanfic recommendations? Thanks so much!!

hi!! thank you so much...🥺🩷🩷 and i am SO glad you asked this. i have so many!! here are the ones i read/reread more recently along with some of the tags. tried to make every rec here different from each other hehe have fun reading!!! can't help it (if you look like an angel) by glimmiks (12.4k)

tags: college au, friends to lovers, mutual pining, IKEA

THIS WAS SO FUN TO READ PLEASEEEE i absolutely love college aus so much. and you just know the 2nd years would be the most fun and chaotic as college students. their dynamic is just chefs KISS, and it's written so well here. the mutual pining in here is truly a 10-course meal and i always go back for another round.

i'm alright if you're alright by anonymous (14.2k)

tags: spoilers up to ch146, fluff, hurt/comfort, injury recovery, fix-it, love confessions, pining

post-shibuya fic excellence. i always have such a great time reading this like inuokkos really do eat so well in this fandom. yuta pining is always so great to read like he is Longingly thinking about toge at all times im cry

Magnificently Cursed by diggingupthegrave (91.2k)

tags: dark academia, magic au, magic school au, slow burn, angst, mutual pining

i will always always recommend diggingupthegrave fics. they are easily my favorite inuokko writer pls you have to read all their inuokko fics...i saved this particular one of theirs to read for much later bc i knew it was going to change my life (7 chapters ok) and boy did it do exactly that. the way they implemented canon elements into a magic setting was so so brillaint and i savored every bit of it.

Beat the Turtle Drum by CasuallyScreaming (7.4k) tags: major character death, post-shibuya incident arc, angst, minimal comfort, no shibuya spoilers read this before sleeping the other night and honestly how i managed to still fall asleep after was my body trying to protect me from full out bawling and having a mental breakdown...i don't think i've read a lot of MCD inuokko but god this one shook me to my core. almost like the feeling of loss and grief were bleeding through my phone screen. so well written and while it's definitely mostly painful, the ending....well you'll find out :')

a special occasion by Cheshire (2.5k) tags: idiots in love, established relationship, first dates this was so so cute...!!!!!!! panda: but aren't you two already dating? yuta: well yes! no. sorta, kinda. super cozy and fluffy read!!

is this how every day begins? by mitgi (5.4k) tags: roommates, living together, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, angst i will always love me a roommate au. this fic was such a lovely read and i'm actually going to reread this right after i finish writing this! there's so much to explore in inuokko's relationship and also when it's in different settings. every time i think about how the actual source material are literal crumbs, i'm just even more amazed by how writers are able to draw out the most of what info we have and write their mannerisms so well. it all feels right and so WARM UOGHHHHH

haunted by sieling_fan (3.3k)

tags: pining, hurt/comfort, canon typical angst, character study

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

you showed up just in time by diggingupthegrave (14.6k)

tags: time travel, friends to lovers, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, slight age gap

another diggingupthegrave fic that had me crying screaming shaking throwing up because god. this was so so good. the build up had me at the edge of my seat bc like oh my god what happened? what's happening?? why is this like that? @#$%^&*()_!!!!!!!!!!!!! and when it's all pieced together? oh it ended me. read this again and again for DAYS you would think i was researching it for a thesis or something. take your time reading this btw like im so serious.

okie that's all for me from now, i have so many more to rec honestly....sending out 100000000000 hearts to inuokko writers you are my roman empire....

#inuokko #ottoge #inumaki #yuuta #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fic rec #inumaki toge #okkotsu yuuta #okkotsu yuta #asks

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mermaidsirennikita · 2 months

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I'll be completely honest, I just kinda feel like the romance genre needs to accept that dubcon/noncon, whether or not you want to read it, was a big part of the genre's history.... and no amount of rerelease editing is going to make that go away.

You wrote a book; it was a long time ago; you followed conventions of the time; you maybe wouldn't now; but you were in fact writing into a genre that did raise you creatively on this element being a big part of it.

No issue with authors wanting to voice what they'd change, make edits with author's notes (and without the erasure of the original content). But pretending it didn't happen does nothing to help us, and it frankly makes it harder to treat the genre as one deserving of serious, potentially academic, analysis. If you're erasing the original work because it makes you uncomfortable, how can we discuss it honestly and analytically and contextually.

This is a very different matter in some ways, but—Eloisa James (an academic scholar who got her doctorate from Yale and taught at Fordham at one point, among other things) backed out of writing the forward to a special edition Georgette Heyer book because of the antisemitic content being removed. It erases an important part of the work, however we may dislike it. How can we DISCUSS the book if the book has been mangled and its history compromised?

"But it's less readable with the bad content", I mean, yeah. For a lot of readers, noncon and dubcon takes a book off the table. And that's so valid. And it's also true that no book can be for everyone. It Happened One Autumn is not for readers for whom dubcon and noncon is a hard stop. I so respect that. I frankly think it's a bit insulting to butcher a book like that in order to get readers who have hard limits to read something that like... famously did. Just let them pass on a book.

I mean, the reality is that for the AUTHOR, there are many reasons to make edits likke these, and again, I'm not necessarily against releasing a VERSION of your novel that better matches your perspective today... as long as that's very clearly not the only version around. For the publishers? It's money. It's making a book more palatable to a larger group of people.

But also... some people like reading dubcon and noncon. And that's okay. And they should have books with content that they like to read, too. And it's fine. There's a huge history of women reading that content specifically to process complex feelings about their experiences and their feelings about their places in the world, and also to simply have fun, and... yeah. That's valid, too.

I just have a lot of feelings about this practice, and it really does come back to a love of the genre and wanting everyone to have books that they enjoy reading (while acknowledging that literally zero books work for everyone and that's OKAY). And a RESPECT for the genre too, and a desire to make it something you can study, if you so please, like any other. I think there's a way to satisfy readers who want to just read for fun and people who want to read for fun and take the genre seriously. We just don't need to make every book cozy and without people who have flaws in order to do so.

#romance novel blogging

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nightynightghoul · 7 months

Text

So I decided to continue with my ideas for what the abbey looks like...

I think this would be the "Summoning Well". So here's a good chunk of text with my headcannon and worldbuilding :)

This one's long too, so it's under the cut.

This round room has a path that connects it to the church, but it's closed off by an old, thick, sturdy wooden door. One of those that also has wrought iron decorating and reinforcing it. There is only one key, and the current papa has it. But that doesn't mean he's the only one that can summon ghouls. It's more so that every summoning has to go through his approval.

Inside, the walls are windowless and lined with stone carved statues that represent the summoning. There's only 3 kinds: a reader, a reaper, and a speaker.

In the center of the room there's a raised circular platform. The floor there has deep carvings to make the summoning symbol needed. In its middle there's a stone bowl. That would be the “well” that gives the room it's name.

On the opposite side of the door there's an altar, the summoning book and two distinct skulls on top of it. A human one and a ghoul one.

Behind it there's an old wooden desk. I think whoever is becoming Papa has to spend a lot of time in here to prepare for their title. Most likely studying magic or who knows what arcane things a satanic Papa needs to know.

All summonings need “ingredients” to be performed. The main thing is to line the circle with the element you're asking for. I chose plants for earth ghouls, a jug of special water for water ghouls, a brazier for fire, crystals for quintessence and an empty basket for air. Even though there's no way to plan or ask for multi ghouls or hybrids, they still happen. I'm thinking that as long as the main asked for element is present, then it's fine.

I know a lot of people headcannon that ghouls need a human vessel to come topside, but I'm just not so sure that I like that idea… So here's a happy middle: The bowl in the center has to be filled with blood for a ghoul to be summoned. When ghouls come up through it, they spill the blood, and it runs through the channels in the carved stone. (A gory image, but a pretty cool one). I'm thinking something like, ghouls do have bodies in hell, but to remain up top they need to have something from here in them. Think, magic blood transfusion or something like that. If that blood is human, from the papas, a sacrifice, a volunteer, or an animal I'm not sure.

The corridor surrounding the center part is empty on purpose. Summoning can't be made alone. (It's not that it's impossible, just harder and ill-advised). So current ghouls and maybe siblings have space to stand around and help with chanting or reciting.

Also, there's braziers and lots of candles to light up the room. A pretty nice aesthetic.

But what are the statues for? Nothing? I mean, it's a pretty concept. The reader represents the first part of a summoning, the reading, and studying. The reaper is about the blood you need to complete it. The sayer is about the chanting and reciting.

I suppose there should also be a table to place the summoning blanket we all seem to be writing about and other things like first aid? Water?

#the band ghost #nameless ghouls #ghost abbey map #the ghost ministry #Nighty'sHeadcannons

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misscammiedawn · 2 months

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The Strange Case of Murder Alters

CW: Discussions of real life murder, sexual violence and heavy stigmatization of the mentally ill

It's not easy writing essays about positive representation for complex dissociative disorders in fiction.

Even the most compassionate cases of intentional representation have flawed elements to them. There is no perfect depiction of plurality in popular culture as even those who specialize in the understanding and treatment of dissociative disorders do not have a full understanding of what it is like to live with conditions like this and those who do are often disregarded.

That all goes without noting that it is a highly subjective experience. There are as many presentations of plurality as there are plural people.

In writing this essay series I want to avoid murder alters because I hate how they are used to harm the most vulnerable people in our society.

But at the very least I can do my best to try and understand why people have this horrible view of others such as we...

Because behind the misunderstanding of our condition there is another issue at play.

The zeitgeist.

Today I want to talk about the social impact of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.

Released in 1886, the story is a mystery about a lawyer named Gabriel John Utterson who is investigating the suspected extortion of a his friend and client, Dr. Henry Jekyll by a thug named Edward Hyde.

It is so popular a piece of fiction that it has been adapted over 100 times.

See, the book is a mystery in which a lawyer uncovers the truth about the miracle elixir that allows Henry Jekyll to alter his appearance so that he may drop his social obligations and act without fear of consequence, knowing he can live his respectable life as Jekyll and any depravity within his soul can be exorcised within the guide of Edward Hyde with the Jekyll name unsullied.

The reveal that Jekyll and Hyde are the same person does not happen until the final pages, after Utterson discovers Hyde's body in Jekyll's lab, dressed in Henry's clothes and with a confession letter explaining the whole affair. It concludes that he can no longer control the physical transformations and that he will either be executed or have the courage to commit suicide. Either way the consequences fall onto someone other than himself.

Will Hyde die upon the scaffold? or will he find courage to release himself at the last moment? God knows; I am careless; this is my true hour of death, and what is to follow concerns another than myself. Here then, as I lay down the pen and proceed to seal up my confession, I bring the life of that unhappy Henry Jekyll to an end.

Henry had compartmentalized enough of his undesirable impulses and emotions that he stored them in an entirely other vessel, dissociating himself from the actions of Hyde enough that he ends his confession that they are the same with the notion that the consequences of their actions falls on someone other than himself.

Dissociative Identity Disorder has long been recognized as a condition though it was not fully understood, even by today's clouded understandings. The International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISSTD) has medical journals dating as far back as 1831 on the topic.

Though the concept of "dual personalities" was a curiosity to the medical community it was often discussed in the same breath as hypnotism, spirit mediums and possession. It was still understood and studied at the time.

Stevenson was clearly obsessed with the concept of duality of the soul as Jekyll and Hyde was his third attempt at writing a story which centered on the war of Good and Evil within a single soul.

His previous attempt at the concept, Markheim, is a short story about a man who commits a murder of passion while shopping for a gift to get his fiancee.

The story heavily features the concept of mirrors with the titular Markheim terrified of his own reflection, noting that there is nothing within a mirror that he wishes to see. After killing the store owner he searches the house for money and is approached by a stranger who debates with him on the concepts of good and evil, acting as a spiritual mirror that Markheim must see himself within until he stops trying to deny and obfuscate his responsibility in the evils he has committed.

The story ends with him woefully confessing that he has lost the love of good but still hates evil and confesses for the murder, allowing himself to be arrested.

The stories less focus on dissociated personalities and more upon the way a person can self justify unspeakable acts to themselves by avoiding their own reflection.

I'd mentioned that Jekyll and Hyde had been adapted over 100 times?

Perhaps I misspoke. You must forgive me...

You know, I'd imagined this essay as a video. I simply have never dabbled with the form and am concerned I would take to the form with the grace and skill of James Somerton. It's far easier to stick with the devil that I know, namely typing an irresponsible number of words at my Tumblr audience.

Indulging the mental image a moment, however, the prior segment having us (Camden potentially?) bathed in golden light wearing a suit and a top hat, speaking in a refined and elegant version of our English accent before switching to me (Dawn) in red light disheveled and looking oh so slutty and talking with a little bit of our old cockney twang.

You'll forgive my distraction for this little aside, I am simply too vain not to paint that mental picture as I type.

See, there are hundreds of Jekyll and Hyde adaptations. The issue is they are adaptations of Thomas Russell Sullivan's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a stage play that ran for 20 years with its run starting with Madison Square Theatre and Lyceum Theatre in New York and London respectively.

The stage play tells a neat chronological story focused on Dr. Jekyll rather than an investigation which flits between events as in the book. Moreover the play goes to lengths to sharpen the contrast between Jekyll and Hyde, a trend which would continue down the decades, allowing for Jekyll to be more socially active and Hyde's evil to be more random in its cruelty. The play also introduced women to the narrative and allowed for Hyde's depravity to include sexual violence. The original novella lacked any sexual motivation for Hyde and Stevenson outright denied that Hyde's "unspecified crimes" included sexual violence.

The other major change between the play and the book is that the lead actor, Richard Mansfield, insisted on playing the dual role. In fact the play was commissioned specifically to allow him this opportunity.

To quote a review in The Times (August 6th, 1888)

There is but little scope for acting in what has been described as Mr. Stevenson's "psychological study." As applied to the dramatic version of Mr. Stevenson's book, the accuracy of the word "psychological" is open to question. There is no transfusion of thought or character between "Dr. Jekyll" and "Mr. Hyde." In look, dress, and action they are wholly distinct individuals; and Mr. Mansfield's appearances, now in the one part and now in the other, involve no more psychology than the "business" of a "quick-change artiste" in the music-halls. There is much more psychology, for example, in Mr. Irving's impersonation of Mathias in The Bells, where the conscience-stricken burgomaster leads a double life - one in the society of his family and friends, the other in the solitude of his chamber. But except in the hands of a master, psychology is of small account on the stage, which deals much more effectively with the cardinal passions. It is with no regret that we note the absence of the psychological element from the dramatic version of "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde."

In the book the transformation was a physical change that allowed for Henry to act without repression allowing for an exploration into the psyche of an individual caught between actions which one can look at themselves in the mirror performing and those which they simply cannot accept as part of themselves.

In the play the transformation still plays out but it is one man acting both parts and using the weight of performance to mark them as separate characters. A transformation between good and evil spurred on by the elixir. As it was the first major adaption, however, the transformation was not displayed in light until the third act, allowing the twist and its shock to be preserved.

But still an act before the finale.

With every adaption, it seems, the contrast between Henry and Edward's good and evil sharpened and more and more of the audience entered the fiction armed with the knowledge of the transformation.

The gap grew wider.

As the elements changed the story became less about the war of desires versus reputation within a single man and more about a paragon divide between good and evil. A divide which allowed Henry to become more philanthropic and Edward to become more depraved. The further from the original we drifted the more wholly divided the parts of Jekyll became.

The play itself was a success and as noted all subsequent adaptations of the material would go on to focus on the chronological telling of events with the good doctor and his evil alter ego as the central figures, often dismissing Gabriel Utterson from the narrative entirely.

But there is one other element at play.

(if this were the video essay I'd dreamed it as then this would be where I snuck in a clip from Murder, Murder from the Jekyll and Hyde musical)

In 1888 a series of murders caught the public's attention. Known colloquially as The Whitechapel Murders these crimes are more well known in association with the legend surrounding the suspect Jack The Ripper.

The 11 murders carried out between 1888 and 1891 are a crime and a tragedy that truly did occur in the streets of London. With all the cartoon representations of Spring Heeled Jack, the walking tours and the general romantic gothic ethos that has prevailed through history it is important to remember that.

Particularly as the lasting sensationalism from late 1800s London still carries lingering sentiments in the public psyche.

The first of the Whitechapel murders occurred on August 7th 1888. 3 days after the play opened in the Lyceum Theatre.

The press of the time were quick to jump upon the similarities. The Irish Times in September of 1888 were quick to make the moral accusations, decrying Hyde's depiction as murdering for the fun of the thing. The article, linked above, takes great glee in crafting a comparison when none had existed and in time the association caught on.

Enough that Richard Mansfield himself was suspected of being the murderer in question.

Days after the Irish Times story the following was published in The Star

“MEANWHILE,” writes an eccentric correspondent, “you, and every one of the papers, have missed the obvious solution of the Whitechapel myst-ery. The murderer is a Mr Hyde, who seeks in the repose and comparative respectability of Dr Jekyll security from the crimes he commits in his baser shape. Of course, the lively imaginations of your readers will at once supply certain means of identification for the Dr Jekyll whose Mr Hyde seems daily growing in ferocious intensity. If he should turn out to be a statesman engaged in the harmless pursuit of golf at North Berwick - well, you, sir, at least, will be able gratefully to remember that you have prepared your readers for the shock of the inevitable discovery.”

Another went as far as to claim that the victims being women was enough to link it to the character from Stevenson's book, a book which lacked female characters or victims.

The fact that a woman was the victim in each case, and that she was poor, takes away the suspicion of robbery and suggests some unutterably fiendish motive such as that which is supposed to animate the mystical character of Hyde in Mr Stevenson’s book. When the devilish nature of Hyde was pictured in the novel nobody could believe that his prototype could be found in real life. These atrocities and apparently cause-less murders show that there is abroad at the present time in the East End a human monster even more terrible than Hyde.

(source of these quotes and a far more detailed analysis of the Mansfield/Jack connection, please read The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Saucy Jacky by Alan Sharp)

The legend had shifted and the idea of Hyde had been solidified in the public consciousness and forever linked with the murders within Whitechapel.

In adaptation these days Edward Hyde is depicted as wearing a big long black coat, a top hat and a cane and coincidentally the vision of Jack the Ripper in the public perception has followed a similar path.

It was only in adaptations where Jekyll and Hyde shared an actor that they also shared a sense of style and the disguise had to take a certain gentleman dressed in shadow approach.

The original book makes a big point of Henry's attire being different from Hyde's as their size difference is enough that during the unexpected transformations they must fashion a way to look presentable. Lanyon describes Hyde's attire as "the trousers hanging on his legs and rolled up to keep them from the ground, the waist of the coat below his haunches, and the collar sprawling wide upon his shoulders."

Yet the public perception had found a tidy visualization of Hyde and the visualization of an unknown killer shared that same picture.

And so too was the concept of "dual personalities" linked with murderous intention.

Thus was born the murder alter.

In other Media, Myself and I entries I have worked hard to avoid murder alters. In our very first essay we opened with a passage noting that we wished for positive depictions of dissociative disorders in fiction. Breaking that rule today is a matter of understanding why so many pieces of fiction tend to lean so heavily on the idea of an evil alter ego who kills "for the joy of it".

Because as Jekyll and Hyde's adaptations became more influenced by the culture surrounding their own reception within the public canon, so too did the inspirations take leaps and bounds.

The concept of duality and split personalities was in the public consciousness and focused entirely on the concepts of Good and Evil.

But that only introduced the concept to the public psyche. Even with the links and public fascination with Hyde and Jack the Ripper it was still a matter which existed only in the public's collective imagination.

It was in 1957 when Ed Gein was convicted of a number of violent and horrific crimes that the conversation and assumption become twisted into the stigma that we all endure today. Gein was sentenced to life in a mental institution after being declared unfit for trial by reason of his schizophrenia diagnosis.

His crimes and life were scrutinized and sensationalized at the time and used heavily as inspiration for a number of thrillers including and most famously the novel Psycho by Robert Bloch and its movie adaptation by Alfred Hitchcock and the character of Buffalo Bill in both book and movie versions of The Silence of the Lambs.

The titular "Psycho" from the movie and novel, Norman Bates, is revealed to have an alter personality modeled after his mother who murders any women who get close to him and Buffalo Bill is a serial killer who wishes to become a woman by kidnapping young women and taking their skin.

Both characters would go on to contribute a lot of stigma to both the mentally ill and those who exist outside of the gender binary.

and... that's just sad. Obviously we know that not every person who experiments with clothing outside of their rigidly state assigned gender allocation will have murderous intention. That's absurd.

An often underlooked line in Silence of the Lambs regarding Bill's gender is Clarice noting "Dr. Lecter, there's no correlation in the literature between transsexualism and violence. Transsexuals are very passive."

Ignoring the over simplification and generalization, it speaks against a public perception of AMAB transgender individuals. The stigma claims that trans women are prone to violent and displays of sexual aggression but the reality does not correspond with this perception at all.

The same is true of those with mental illness, especially when associated with childhood trauma.

Though Psycho does not include a throwaway line that makes him out to be an outlier, the story does depict him forming the evil "Mother" personality through the abuse of his own possessive and controlling mother wanting to keep him away from any other women.

Even in the midst of the stigmatizing depiction they were able to show Norman being meek enough to "never hurt a fly" and having been pacified by the abuse he received at his mother's hands.

The fact is that those with dissociative disorders are known to be far more likely to be the victims of violent crime than the perpetrators.

People with these conditions often had to endure horrible mistreatment, neglect and abuse at the hands of those who were supposed to care for them and that society lets us down by holding these violent and dangerous stereotypes is simply inexcusable.

Even those who have alters capable and willing to use violence, they are formed through self-preservation and do not act "for the fun of the thing" as the Irish Times correspondent put it, much of their violence is turned inwards or used to ward off people and prevent them getting close.

Another highly publicized case that adds to the stigma pool is that of Billy Milligan, convicted in 1975 and formally diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, his life and story have been directly adapted several times, including the infamously stigmatizing Split. Airing this year is a TV adaptation of Milligan's life starring Tom Holland.

It's clear the fascination and assumptions are still well and truly alive. Fact is the murder alter is likely not going to go away anytime soon. It is far too useful a narrative crutch for crime stories where a suspect does not even realize they are the guilty party and though there are only a small number of high profile cases, they have latched on to the public's imagination and been adapted multiple times with those adaptations inspiring further stories.

It's why we need good representation. It's why we want to highlight that good representation as much as we can.

Media, Myself and I is a series of Tumblr posts I make to highlight good representation of dissociative disorders in fiction. I do not claim to be the best at academia or research but I care deeply about the topic.

Originally I was going to use the Jekyll/Hyde stuff to build up to the only murder alter I respect but I think we can wait for another day to hear her laughing wav.

Please scroll the tag if you'd like to see more or click on any of the below essays:

Discworld and Plurality Incidental, intentional and accidental representation Gender, Dissociation and Clinical Stigma in The Third Person Recontextualized Memories in Umineko Derealization in Night in the Woods and Metal Gear Solid The Dangers of Hypnotic Personality Play in Penlight System Origins in The Incredible Hulk Relationships with Systems in The Incredible Hulk The Healing Journey in Mr. Robot

Thank you for reading.

#dawn posting #media myself and i #plurality #did #watch me post my trauma in public #jekyll and hyde

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ambermotta · 11 months

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Meeting a Dragon (Guide, Guardian, or Otherwise)

Disclaimer: the information I give is a mish-mash of personal experience, research, experience in study groups and other people's accounts. I don't claim to know the absolute truth. I'm just here to help!

Preparations

Just like any other type of spirit work you do, to connect with the right type of spiritual being you'll need to be in the right mindset. The more powerful and high frequency the spirit is at, the harder it can be to attune to their vibration.

For connecting with dragons I reccomend you do some heavy work on cleansing the environment and yourself, as well as make sure you have strong protections (how to do that is a matter for another post). Offerings prior to any ritual are also a great idea.

And after all the cleansing you will need to keep your negative thoughts and emotions in check as to not energetically upset the balance you have achieved. Of course, it's impossible to never experience these, so when you do it will be good to remind yourself to keep calm and return to a state of peace.

Something to Ponder

You may wonder - do I even have a dragon guardian? Maybe, maybe not. Either way, if you want to connect with any dragon willing to help you out you will need to do some introspection and evaluate things such as:

If I meet a dragon, what will I do with that information? What is my purpose? What is my goal with all of this?

Knowledge for the sake of knowing it is useless. You are far more likely to get a response from any spiritual being if you intend to do something with the information you're asking for, otherwise you're just wasting their time and energy to entertain a selfish curiosity.

Setting the Mood

After you have aligned your goals, energy, environment and mindset it's time to actually try to get in touch.

Do keep in mind that how successful you are can vary a lot depending on how keen you are to sensing energies, experience, whether the technique works for you and whether the dragon actually thinks if you're ready to meet them or not.

I recommend you try to "set the mood". You definitely DON'T need to do all of these or get a lot of supplies, but if you think you can get your hands on these things they may help you connect more easily:

Turn on music that you think matches the draconic energy you are looking for.

Gather elements of nature such as rocks, plants, branches and crystals that you feel are right for what you are doing. Remember to always ask for permission when taking anything from nature and make sure it's legal!

Gather the four elements. Light a candle, an incense, get a glass of water... for earth you can use crystals but I personally like having living plants.

You can turn off the lights to help your mind slow down. You can focus on the candle, or close your eyes so that you can pay more attention on what you feel rather than what you see.

Dress for the occasion. No particular outfit needed, just try to make it feel special.

You can gather and use any personal tools you have, like a wand, athame, or sacred necklace.

It is preferable to have a protective token with you, if you have any. If you don’t a protection circle will do!

Please remember you can connect with spirits without any of these, and you can have all of these and still feel nothing. These are things that usually HELP, but it's YOU who makes it happen.

Techniques

#1 Divination

When I met my dragon guide it was through a tarot reading. I didn't even have my own cards, I used a website to draw my cards and after I did I felt the need to close my eyes and just "feel it". I was not yet ready to work with this dragon (damn, it took me almost a decade), and even though I doubted it when the time came it turned out my odd attempt at tarot reading was actually VERY accurate.

I did not use a specific spread as far as I remember. I was never a spread type of reader. I just pulled the cards with the intention of figuring out the energy of the dragon and the meaning revealed itself with each card drawn, as well as their collective energy.

Some ideas of what to look for in your divination session are:

Is there a particular element, symbol or environment this dragon is associated with?

What can they teach me?

What should I do to connect and work with them?

Do they think I am ready? If not, what should I do?

What are they like? Big and bulky, or slender and gracious? Do they have limbs? How many? What colors do they like most?

What do they expect from how? How are you supposed to behave around them?

These answers may come to you in the cards (literally) or through your intuition (subjectively). Both are valid, don't restrict yourself just to what you see.

Remember no two readers read the same way. If you are already into divination, work with whatever you have the most affinity with. If you like tarot spreads or boards, that's awesome! If you're more of a intuitive reader don't be afraid of trusting yourself either. As long as you are prepared, you're good to go.

If you're not a reader and would instead like to get someone else to do the divination for you, make sure you are familiar with the reader. What do they usually read? What is their moral compass like? How do your guts feel about them? And even after the reading, it's important you trust what your own intuition says about it all.

#2 Meditation

Meditation means different things for different people.

For some it can be a state of relaxation and observing ones thoughts and feelings. Feeling energy. If this is the route you want to take, before you start the meditation you can invite the dragon to come and let you feel their energy.

You can also kind of turn this into a prayer/conversation kind of thing by talking to them either verbally, or through sharing with them your thoughts and/or feelings. I really like doing it this way because it feels very personal and emotions can get very strong. However, it is basically impossible to do if you are struggling with negative feelings or feeling very anxious. Unfortunately if you're not at balance and you can't bring yourself back to a relaxed state feeling them is going to be really hard.

The other way to do meditation is through guided meditation. With this technique you will have someone else being your guide and taking your mind on a journey. This is very beginner friendly and something I enjoyed a lot when I was first getting into meditation.

You don't have to restrict yourself to everything your guide says. They are there mostly to help you stay in the right mindset and remind you of what you're doing, plus facilitating your connection.

There are a few dragon-specific meditations online. Unfortunately there aren't many, but if the ones there are don't work for you you can either improvise with a more general guided meditation or use ones aimed at spirit guides and deities.

#3 Prayer

I'm using the word prayer to describe "establishing some sort of dialogue with a spiritual entity". If you'd like you can write your own prayer and treat it more as a sort of reverence to the dragons, this can definitely deepen your connection.

But prayer can be as simple as sitting in silence, in a peaceful mindset, and talking to your dragon guide. I would avoid unimportant mundane matters... It is best to have a dialogue that can actually help you connect with the dragon. Telling them your goals, your thoughts, asking about them... then just pay attention to how your body feels, and what thoughts come up. You may wish to avoid talking about problems right away if your focus is to get to know them.

This sort of direct-ish communication doesn't necessarily require anything fancy. If you are able to tune in, you can do it anywhere. But as I mentioned before, certain tools can help you with that, and it's always a good idea to make sure you are protected.

#4 Ask for signs

Be specific about it and ideally set a time period for it to show up. If you ask for a sign that is too easy to come up and easily explainable by physical causes then anything can feel like a sign and lead you into delusion. If it's too complex it can take a long time to manifest in the physical world.

Also keep in mind a sign can come in a more subjective way. For example, if you ask for a rainbow apple to confirm a sign from your dragon perhaps you'll not get a literal rainbow colored apple, but instead a crazy music video with psychedelic rainbow aesthetic and random apples (as well as other objects) thrown around. Yeah this has happened to me - but regarding Loki.

Overall I'm very very careful with signs and I'd rather try the other methods a few times before asking for this one because it's way too easy for your mind to get in your way (either making you doubtful or leading you into finding your signs) or you asking for things that are too out of this world. For the average person asking for signs is not healthy or trustworthy. Plus, it rarely gives you any further insight into the dragon.

Conclusion

After you're done make sure to thank the dragons for their time and energy however you like. It is a great time to give them an offering if you haven't already.

If you did not feel anything, keep trying. Keep this off your mind for a few days then try again, or try the next few weeks once per week. If you are still unsuccessful you can ask the dragons why they are not showing up, or what is blocking you from feeling them.

If you felt something but still couldn't figure out much about the dragon, be patient. There could be a number of reasons why. You may ask them for clarification!

In any case, the keyword is Patience. It can take years for you to be truly ready to work with them. Sometimes they are willing to work with you, but even when you think you are ready, you end up backing away... and that's okay. They are rarely in a hurry, and neither should you.

Thank you for reading!

#draconic wicca #dragon magick #draconic magick #witchblr #magick #witchcraft #draconic witch #draconic witchcraft #dragonkin #otherkin #spirit work #dragon guardian #spirit guides #witch tips #baby witch

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