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#Will I write this? Probably not
turtletotem · 1 year
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AU Idea: Griddlehark Bachelorette
Harrowhark Nonagesimus, the Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House, is choosing a spouse on national TV!
Candidates include:
Judith Deuteros! Who doesn't love a girl in uniform? Rumor has it the Reverend Daughter herself considered becoming a military chaplain once upon a time!
Palamedes Sextus! He's intelligent, polite, educated, a talented necromancer -- everything Harrow has said she wants.
Ortus Nigenad! A lifelong family friend and her parents' favored candidate. Will she give him a chance?
Ianthe AND Coronabeth Tridentarius! Not just two beautiful and accomplished young women, but identical twins competing for the hand of the same girl. #DRAMA
Abigail Pent AND Magnus Quinn! A married couple looking for a third. Anonymous sources say Harrowhark may have enough mommy and daddy issues to be swept off her feet by their stability and nurturing affection.
THE SURPRISE CANDIDATE -- Gideon Nav, Harrow's childhood bestie-slash-archnemesis, sweeping in on a cloud of glory from a successful tour in the Cohort to ask How do you like me now?
Who will get a rose, and who will get the boot? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!
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bboricha · 1 year
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ahahahahahhaa just saw fanart of childe chained up and now im just thinking garde!reader x boyfriend!childe where reader has to lock him up themselves and oh my god
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kagedbird · 2 years
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Was thinking while decompressing in the bath earlier of a story where Y/N is taken with some "friends" (acquaintances that really didn't have their best interests at heart) take them to Monty Golf in the Pizzaplex, and they try to goad Y/N into jumping into the waters with the fake gators.
In comes Monty, wondering why there's a human standing tensely next to a safety bar and death staring at the water. Sidling up and asking if they lost a golf ball. Joke that he's gotten one in his mouth one time by a kid who thought he was just a fake gator. Cracking jokes and semi flirting with Y/N.
All while the bullies stare at you, gobsmacked, at how you somehow got the Monty Gator's attention.
He tries to impress you, after you explain- awkwardly- how the sounds from the fake gators are bellowing- mating calls- by bellowing at you and you just. Try to hastily brush it off as, "Oh, haha! Great impression!! :))) Whoever you do that to will certainly be smitten!!!! :))))) Anyways,"
Cue giant puppy gator robot dogging your heels for the rest of your evening as you try to desperately ask your "friends" for help who are clearly no help to anyone at all.
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luvkun4 · 1 year
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Can we have more of Fitzgerald pls🥺
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OOO ykw it's a been a minute since i've talked about him.
i actually have a wip for him in my drafts that i'm probably never gonna write atp, where basically he's the owner of some country club you work at. and you're out with him on the golf course bc he was playing a game, then he offers to teach you how to play, which turns into him accidentally (but not really) flustering you when he bends you over a little to fix your form. and then after your little lesson he says you deserve a reward for doing such a good job. so as you're having that conversation, you take the golf cart somewhere a little more secluded which leads to him propositioning you after a lot of teasing, and then somehow you end up riding him right there on the golf cart <3
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inkskinned · 4 months
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
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tanjir0se · 4 months
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Disclaimer these are just a small sampling of some possible writer traits I’ve noticed either in myself or in fics I read. Also consider a rb for sample size !
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DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one
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football-in-tuxedos · 6 months
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What's distressing, but also important to understand, about JK Rowling hitting the "Denying trans people were targeted in the Holocaust" point is that it's kind of the last stop before she just goes full alt-right weirdo.
Joanne is denying the Holocaust (if a group was targeted, denying they were targeted is Holocaust denial) and that's going to lead to pushback from historians and experts. But Joanne is too deep in to believe what anyone who disagrees with her says, so she's just going to dismiss what those historians and experts tell her. And once she's disbelieving them about that one thing, well it's just a tiny step to start disbelieving them about other things.
This isn't by accident either, transphobic circles are swarming with far right agitators, ready to use hatred of trans people as an in to recruit people into their causes. They have handbooks for this sort of thing and they are, unfortunately, good at it. I suspect Joanne will be spouting coded versions of Great Replacement stuff by the end of the summer.
This is not a plea to try and pull Joanne out. She's too deep in, and even if she wasn't, she's already demonstrated an inability to examine her own prejudices, an unwillingness to hear criticism and a weakness to flattery. She is perfect recruitment bait for people who know what they're doing, and my impression is she's surrounded herself with people like that.
No, this is to understand two things: First is to use her as an example, to understand how a well meaning liberal can chase their own prejudices down a very dark rabbit hole. We are none of us immune to propaganda and even if we can't change what's happened to her, we can at least use it to protect ourselves.
And second is to understand that one of the main reasons you can't pull Joanne out of the transphobic pipeline is cause she is the pipeline now. She is the transphobic banner bearer now, she is funneling money and attention to these groups, she is their most famous celebrity and she is helping recruit people. Being able to show people how far she's gone, how deep into the right wing rabbit hole she's going, is important to help other people who still think she just "Had some concerns" know where her path leads.
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Female characters who are the sole voice of reason <<<<<<< Female characters who think of themselves as the sole voice of reason but who are actually just as insane as those around them
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elodieunderglass · 1 year
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changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.
I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.
Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.
No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.
But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?
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corkinavoid · 2 months
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DPxDC Summoning Failed Successfully
Imagine a warehouse. Imagine a bunch of cultists in dark robes with all the candles, daggers, ancient books, and chanting. Now add Danny.
Only not as the summoned being, no. As a sacrifice.
He is sitting down, tied to a chair, in the middle of the summoning circle, looking as bored and deadpan as he can possibly be. The cultists are chanting, and he frowns, listening to their chants for a moment.
"Hey, is that Latin?" He questions, but to no avail, "You know you're not actually using those words correctly, right?"
"Keep quiet, child!" One of the cultists snaps. Danny leans back in his chair and shrugs.
"I'm just saying, you ain't summoning shit with wrong grammar," he huffs, seemingly absolutely nonchalant about the whole thing. Oracle, who is watching the whole ordeal through the surveillance cameras, raises her eyebrows. Red Robin and Robin are already en route to the building the cultists chose for their extracurricular activities, but now she almost wants to watch this a bit longer.
Gothamites are pretty used to all kinds of shitshows, but this boy is from out of town. She checked him through facial recognition. Daniel Fenton, a transfer student from Amity Park, Illinois.
A few more cultists stop chanting and turn to Danny.
"Do you know Latin?" One of them asks, and the boy makes a half-nod, making a thoughtful face.
"Not fluently, but, like, it's a dead language, I felt kinda obligated to learn it. Just for the meme, you know?" He chuckles.
The cultists, judging by their confused silence, don't know. Barbara doesn't know what he's talking about, either. But she is almost curious now, so she taps Robin's and RR's comm lines:
"RR, Robin, when you arrive, don't jump into the scene," she asks.
"Understood," Tim answers immediately, but Damian, of course, demands explanations:
"Is there an obstacle?"
"Not really," Barbara humms, "The sacrifice is in the process of de-escalating the situation."
She can almost hear the questioning silence over the comm, but, thankfully, no one argues. Meanwhile, one of the cultists pipes up, voice full of doubt:
"So, you can... like, proofread our incantation?"
"Yeah, sure," Danny nods, apparently fine with being sacrificed, "Who you're trying to summon anyway?"
"Satan," that same cultist answers, and Danny laughs approvingly.
"Classic," he nods and smiles, "I'll give you this. The circle is mostly alright, so you don't need an incantation to summon the fucker, I have him on speed dial." And with that, he leans forward, screaming towards the floor: "Ey, Satan!"
Barbara must say the act was actually convincing, but he went a little overboard with it now. She reaches to tell both Robins to get in, but suddenly, a loud, booming voice reverberates through the building.
"The fuck do you want, kid?"
Cultists fall to their knees - it doesn't seem like an act of worship, more like their knees bucking. The whole circle dimly lights up in red, smoke raising from it.
"Do you see this shit, Oracle?" Red Robin questions, and she mhm's at him, not sure what else to say. If this is still an act or a trick, she must say it's a very good one. Although somehow she suspects it's not a trick. She's seen enough magic in her life to tell the difference.
"Do you want to come to Earth, be gay and do crimes?" Danny asks, almost mockingly.
"Fuck off."
The red light flickers and disappears, and Danny looks back up to cultists, grinning cheerfully.
"Welp, looks like he doesn't wanna," the kid concludes and stands up from his chair. Barbara hadn't seen when or how he got out of his bindings.
The cultists just watch him walk out of the circle in bewilderment.
"Pursue?" Robin's voice comes over the comms, and Barbara thinks for a moment.
"I get a feeling like that's a bad idea," Tim mutters over his line.
Barbara agrees.
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simonbrain · 11 days
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going to town on yourself after a long, gruelling week of work, legs spread and your face all fucked out as the vibrator between your legs buzzes deliciously against your clit. you were using the sheets to cover yourself, but they're all soaked; oh well, it's getting stuffy anyway. best to kick them off to avoid overheating.
you're so caught up in chasing your fourth orgasm that you don't realise in the fat ass window that grants you a beautiful view of the city are two men standing on top of a suspended platform, looking right at you. the one with the mohawk gawks, his mouth hanging open, maybe even a little bit of drool seeping down as he eyes the mess between your thighs. the bigger one wearing the black disposable mask sucks in a breath, his jaw clenched as he catches sight of your pretty pink tongue sticking out of your mouth.
your glossy eyes blink open; you're so fucking close. all it takes is your focus darting over to the window where those men are intruding on your privacy, and suddenly you're squirting, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you experience the most intense orgasm in your life.
(the two window washers are still staring at you when you take a peek at them, unmoving. their intense gazes manage to snap you out of your daze, and you feel around for the remote to roll down your electric blinds before you hide your face in a pillow, your stomach still fluttering.
good luck trying to go outside to run your errands later on; you don't even make it into your car before you're cornered by the same two creeps in the car park.
maybe you should have closed the blinds before you started. oops.)
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skellydun · 1 year
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absolutely love reading such a well-written story and falling a bit in love with the author based solely on the way they write. like baby the way you italicize words makes my heartbeat quicken.
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shinesurge · 1 month
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I like vending AND attending cons, and anybody who does either of those knows the concentration of neurodivergence/disability at these things is off the CHARTS so the actual interaction can sometimes get Weird for a bunch of reasons. I saw someone doing a version of this a while back and thought it was a really smart way to ease that a little bit! The sunflower/wood panel aesthetic is theming for my particular table but anything easy to pick up and put down should work I think; the original booth called them Anxiety Wands or something but not everyone is anxious! So I adjusted the wording a bit to include most folks. The response so far has been really positive, please feel free to do it at your own booth because I would also like to have this option when I'm shopping lmfao
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My favorite thing about Annabeth is her wardrobe.
Cause like, Rick simplifies her clothes in a way a man would, and you can tell.
Cause in EVERY book, from The Lightning Thief to Chalice, she’s in the goddamn CHB shirt. With like some shorts or cargo pants. Nothing more, nothing less.
He’s made improvements over the years, giving her some other clothes. But he’ll always come back to old faithful.
Like, he most definitely did it on accident, but he made her so Adam Sandler and I love it
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funtergeist · 4 months
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are there still any shadowpeach fans
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