#a bathroom selfie in this restaurant to hurt us

[deathdoesntkillyou]

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 8

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: You get a preview of what it’s like to be working with Mackenzie.

Warnings: I apologize as there is no smut in here lmfao but there is a stubborn Bucky lols

A/N: The jitters just never go away whenever I post a new part for this ajkcnjasncakjcnakj I find this part boring tbh but uhh things will start picking up again in the next part I promise

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky decided to push through with his partnership with Wilson Enterprises. It was a big one, so it definitely required the entire team's effort and perseverance. Apparently, this is the company's biggest, most major project yet so this was going to look really good in your resume. It would also provide you with more credibility to further excel in your career.

Except that Bucky actually hired a marketing consultant to take over the entire project as his revenge.

"Any questions? About the project or about Kenzie?" Bucky asked, standing in front of the conference room, next to Mackenzie.

You confidently raised your hand when no one else did. Bucky tilted his head, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He knew you were affected, of fucking course you were!

"Yes?" he called out.

You stood up and sighed softly, "I mean this in the most respectful way, Mister Barnes." you said, emphasizing his name. "But as the head of marketing, what exactly is my role here? Given that Mackenzie was hired to spearhead the marketing aspect of this project." you said, giving Mackenzie a passive aggressive smile.

"I don't want to overstep on some boundaries here, that's why I'm asking. I just want clarity, that's all." you said.

Bucky was about to respond when Mackenzie stopped him, grabbing his arm and squeezing it before taking over the floor. You narrowed your eyes at how her slender fingers were wrapped around Bucky's arm.

"Honey..." Mackenzie started. "There's nothing to worry about, this is a collaborative work between you and I. So think of yourself as my assistant, someone to help me out with the project." she responded.

Bitch.

"I'm not an assistant, Mackenzie." you said, smiling at her.

Mackenzie laughed, "I'm sorry, my bad. I shouldn't have used that term. Oops." she said. "Although, I believe I have more experience in this area so maybe consider me a mentor?" she suggested.

Bitch!

Bucky cleared his throat, "If you have certain ideas, you can discuss it with her. She is a consultant after all. Given her impressive experience in the field, I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two from her."

The meeting was wrapped up by noon and you simply couldn't wait to get yourself out of the conference room. You didn't feel like talking to Bucky anymore in all honesty, not after what he was doing. You knew this was just to spite you, get you to cave in first and give in to him.

All the more that you wouldn't, especially not when he actually used your job against you.

Everyone started rushing out of the conference room, ready to head out for lunch. As soon as you reached the doorway, you overheard the short conversation between Bucky and Mackenzie.

"Hey Bucky, we still up for lunch?"

-

The bathroom was empty when you stepped inside and thank god for that because you couldn't hold back your emotions any further. Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes, not because you were hurt. Fuck no, you were angry and frustrated. So fucking angry at yourself for getting into this mess, at Bucky for being such an entitled prick, at the entire world for plotting against you.

You groaned in irritation as you wiped away your tears, sniffing as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You worked your ass off for this job, for your position. You risked your dignity when you let Bucky fuck you. You weren't going to let someone take that away from you.

You quickly fixed yourself when the door opened, followed by the loud clacking of someone's heels.

"Omg, are you crying?" Beverly gasped, rushing over to you.

You snickered, "No." you lied, "My eyes are itchy." you huffed out before noticing that Beverly was holding a sandwich in her hand.

"Why did you bring your sandwich here?" you curiously asked.

Beverly shrugged, "The pantry's full and the other girls don't exactly seem to like me...so..."

You shook your head and sighed, "Come with me, let's have lunch out. I need to get out of this fucking place anyway."

"Yay, omg! I knew you were nice! You're like, the only girl who actually talked to me nicely." Beverly said, tagging behind you as you exited the bathroom.

"Oh, there you are!" Mark called out. "I was looking for you. Wanna grab lunch? Oh...who's this?" he asked, noticing the blonde girl trailing behind you.

"I'm Beverly! I'm Sir James' new secretary." she introduced excitedly.

You sighed, "Don't ask me why." you said when Mark turned to you with a confused look, still not sure what happened to Bucky's previous secretary.

"So, lunch out? With Bev?" you asked.

-

You were completely zoning out during lunch despite the ongoing conversation between Mark and Bev, something about yoga? You honestly couldn't care less, not when you were feeling so conflicted about your current situation.

Would Bucky actually go that far just to get you back? Or does he actually hate you for saying no to him and is basically using his authority to make your life a living hell?

"So I heard about the new girl." Mark said, that snapped you out of your trance.

"Huh?" you asked.

"I find it weird for Mister Barnes to hire someone when you're here." Mark pointed out. "I mean, are you okay with that or..."

You snorted, "Fuck no. Look, I'm not gonna be the bigger person here. I was offended as fuck." you admitted.

"Yeah, it's super weird because she was hired through Tinder or something. Is that even legal?" Beverly pointed out as she scrolled through her phone.

You and Mark turned to her abruptly, "Tinder? Wait, what?" you asked.

Beverly chuckled, "I heard them talking this morning and Kenzie was like, 'It's so funny that we matched on Tinder and ended up doing business there you know' and I'm like omg Sir James has Tinder and I have one too but I never saw him there, bummer."

"Motherfucker." you hissed out.

Mark made a face, "Are you okay?" he carefully asked. "You've been really tensed since last week."

Apparently, Bucky never deleted his Tinder and have been swiping right on women. And that's how he met Mackenzie who just happened to be a marketing consultant. Now you were just furious, was he fucking her too? Has he been fucking other women this entire time?

"Hey, Bev..." you said, a plan hatching inside your mind. "Can I ask you a favor?" you asked nicely.

Beverly nodded, "Um duh, you're basically my office BFF now."

"If you ever hear Mister Barnes and Mackenzie talk about hmm, I don't know...something interesting. Maybe about the project...me 'cause you know, I'm the head of marketing and Mackenzie’s in the same field...let me know, will ya?" you asked.

Mark chuckled nervously, "I don't know what's going on but isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"She's not going to eavesdrop, Mark. She'll just...listen closely." you explained.

"Bev might get in trouble if Mister Barnes finds out." Mark warned.

You waved a hand, "She'll be fine, Mark. She's his secretary, she has to know everything. Besides, I'm not going to let her get in trouble, if she does then I'll take care of it."

Beverly squealed in delight, "Omg, you are not my office BFF. You're like my office mom! You and Mark are literally my office parents." she said, lifting her phone up in the air.

"Selfie! This one goes to the 'gram." she said, taking a quick photo of the three of you.

She then proceeded to edit the photo while you and Mark continued eating lunch.

"Bev, you should really put your phone away and eat first. We have less than half an hour left for lunch break." Mark called out.

Beverly groaned and rolled her eyes, "Way to get into the role, Mark. You're such a dad."

You snorted, "Yeah. Loosen up, daddy." you teased.

"Playing family after just one date, huh."

Bucky's presence in the same restaurant should've really intimidated you, most especially that he just witnessed you tease Mark like that. But you were too mad at him to even care, what was the point even? He didn't believe you even when you told him the truth that Mark was just a friend.

Why even try now?

"Hi Sir James." Beverly greeted happily.

"Mister Barnes." Mark acknowledged.

Bucky ignored them and kept his eyes on you. You didn't falter under his gaze and simply stared back at him with blank eyes. It's as if a staring competition took place when the both of you merely looked at each other, neither of you looking away nor attempting to do so.

"How was that date last Friday, Jim?" Bucky asked, his eyes still trained on yours.

Mark made a funny face at the name that Bucky called him but shrugged anyway. Before he could even respond, you decided to answer on his behalf. If Bucky wanted to spite you, you'd give him a taste of his own medicine.

"It was actually great. We might go on another one this Friday." you said.

"We are?" Mark asked in a whisper.

Bucky's hand landed on Mark's shoulder, "Don't count on it, Andrew. She's going to be doing a lot of work on Friday due to the project." he said through gritted teeth.

You shrugged, "Oh, but I thought Mackenzie's doing all my work?"

"I'm ready to head back, Buck."

Speak of the devil herself. Mackenzie weaved through the tables and approached Bucky, her face brightening up when she saw you, Mark and Beverly.

"Oh, hey you." she greeted you. "Look, I think we may have started off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm not here to take your job, just here to spice things up a bit. Improve your ideas, give Bucky some assistance." she chuckled, holding onto Bucky's arm yet again.

You fought back the urge to grab your glass of water and throw it at her face. As the saying goes, kill them with kindness. So you merely shrugged and extended an arm for a handshake.

"Of course. I would love to improve your ideas as well, you know. Just a healthy discourse between two marketing professionals. We good?" you said.

Mackenzie forced out a chuckle and reached for your hand, "We’re good. I look forward to working with you." she said before turning back to Bucky who was still gazing at you.

"Let's go?" she asked sweetly.

Bucky smirked at you before wrapping an arm around Mackenzie's waist, guiding her out of the restaurant the same way he did to you. You were too focused on Bucky's body language around Mackenzie that you failed to notice that Mark was watching you closely, your expressions and how you reacted towards Bucky.

"I think I know what's happening."

-

"You what?!"

"Shhh!" you hushed Mark and peeked out of the empty pantry to make sure the coast was clear.

Mark noticed the tension between you and Bucky and he came to a conclusion that the both of you dated at one point. He wasn't really wrong but he wasn't right either. So you decided to tell him everything, from the moment you matched with Bucky on Tinder until your last conversation with him last Saturday.

"I honestly thought you were dating, I didn't know there was sex involved. No wonder he had been calling me weird names." he said incredulously. "Was that you and Mister Barnes that Janet reported to the HR?" he asked, stifling his laughter.

You groaned, "Yes. Ugh, gave me a panic attack when I found out about that incident report." you said.

"Hey..." Mark called out. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. Your secret is safe with me." he reassured.

You nodded, "I think it was about time that I told someone about us anyway. This whole situation is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do next. And I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess, I shouldn't have said that we were going out again. I don't want you or your job getting compromised because of our petty fight." you exhaled.

You had to admit, you felt so much better now after confiding with Mark. It somewhat alleviated the weight on your shoulders, knowing that there was someone aware of what you were going through. Who would've thought that this person would end up being Mark? You did have friends outside of work of course, but you felt like they all wouldn't really understand the situation.

Half would hate you for rejecting Bucky and the other half would hate you for even swiping right on him.

"Do you mind an unsolicited advice?" Mark asked.

"Not at all." you said.

"Ignore him. Don't let him or Mackenzie get to you. Do what you do best, you're great at your job and you'll be fine. That might get him to realize that you're not a prize to be won. And if he still doesn't see that, then that's his loss. You're more than just that hot marketing girl at work." Mark said.

You laughed at his last statement, "Hot marketing girl at work?" you asked, shaking your head.

"It's true. So if in any case you decide to ditch the CEO and move on, you know where to find me." he joked, throwing a wink your way.

-

You wanted to finish all your reports so you could focus on the huge project so you decided to work until around nine in the evening. The floor was already empty by the time you were done. Bucky seemed to be working too, given that he was still replying to e-mails at this hour. Wanting to get all the reports over with, you decided to submit it to him before going home.

During the elevator ride to Bucky’s floor, you couldn’t help but wonder whether he was alone in the office. Would Mackenzie be there with him? Even at this hour? Your grip on the folder tightened at the thought of catching them in the act.

But did you have any right to feel this way though?

Brushing off the thoughts, you exhaled loudly and prepared yourself for whatever it was you were to witness. Upon reaching the door to Bucky’s office, you slightly turned your head to listen to anything. It was quiet. No hushed whispers nor strained grunts-- they weren’t fucking, thank goodness for that.

You decided not to knock and just walk inside like you used to, reminding yourself of Mark’s advice.

Don’t let Bucky get to you.

When you saw Bucky hunched over his desk, typing away on his e-mails instead of bending a certain brunette somewhere in his office, you had to admit that you were relieved. He looked up and his eyes looked dead tired, you almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“You should really learn how to knock.” Bucky called out, slamming his laptop shut.

“Look, Bucky. I was just rushing to submit these reports so I can go home.” you explained and placed the folder on top of his desk.

Bucky frowned, “I said to call me Mister Barnes.”

You huffed out, “I honestly don’t care, Bucky. I’m not playing your damn games anymore.” you said and turned around.

A hand on your arm pulled you back, harshly turning you around to face Bucky. He was fuming, as usual. At this point, you were no longer fazed.

“You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?” he asked.

You clenched your jaw and pulled your arm back, “I’m not doing anything. You bring in Beverly or Mackenzie or whoever it is that you have up your sleeve. I don’t fucking care. I just want to focus on work.” you said and stepped away.

“And you should too, Bucky.” you added.

“I don’t believe you.” he said.

You sighed, your shoulders dropping from exhaustion at this whole shenanigan. “I’m done, Bucky.”

And with that you turned around to exit his office, leaving Bucky unsure whether you truly meant what you said. A victorious smirk graced your lips as you walked back to the elevator.

You were far from done.

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag​​ @weird-mumbling​​ @propertyofpoeandbucky​​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​​ @mostly-marvel-musings​​ @squishybabies​​ @megzdoodle​​ @suchababie​​ @annathesillyfriend​​ @xhollycowx​​ @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @5-seconds-of-mendes​​ @gogolucky13​​ @countonthesun​​ @iloveshawnieboi​​ @learisa​​ @borikenlove​​ @scarlet-natasha89​​

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​​ @jessou893​​ @stealapizzamyheart​​ @bagelofthelord​​ @mxnt​​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​​ @ohladymacbeth​​ @wildflowergubler​​ @supraveng​​ @twinerd14​​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​​ @charminivy​​ @amelia-song-pond​​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​​ @mcubqrnes @im-squished​​ @tcc-gizmachine​​ @sipsteacasually​​ @prettyintopeerpressure​​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky​

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Desperate Measures 2

Warnings: nonconsent and rape (miniseries); stalking, fear, intimidation, fingering, toyplay, fuck machine, control, overstimulation, cock ring, oral

This is dark!Steve Rogers and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: At first, you think it’s a joke when you get the strange messages, but when they don’t stop, you realise too late how real it all is.

Note: Okay, here’s the last half! 

Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Part 1

I can't let this, I can't let this go When I got you right where I want you I been pushing for this for so long

💌

You put your to-go box in the fridge. Your appetite was all but gone after the encounter but Eva barely seemed to notice as her gushing went from the unexpected cameo of America’s hero to Ray again. Another argument meant she was holding out to punish him but you knew it wouldn’t last. She was already incessantly checking her phone.

You sat as she took selfies on Snap and shared them in her passive aggressive way. You knew this dance. She’d keep going until she got a reaction. You took your own phone but hesitated before you lit up the screen. It unlocked as it registered your face and the number over your inbox made you wince.

It was like a story in itself, the unanswered text bubbles lined the rectangle; ‘where’d you go, sweetheart’ to ‘what’s wrong?’ to ‘I will find you’ to ‘you better answer me, sweetheart’. You could almost hear them in Steve’s deep tones and it made you shiver. The phone suddenly vibrated and sent another wave through you.

‘Seven tonight. I’ll meet you in front of the bar,’ the message said tersely.

You lowered the phone as Eva searched for better lighting and angled her phone around as she pouted. You watched her and the phone buzzed again. You looked down at the next message.

‘You answer me, sweetheart.’ Still all you could do was stare blankly until you felt another jolt, ‘either you come to me or I come to you.’

The threat was clear. It wasn’t just about you. He knew you were at Eva’s and you had no doubt he would break through any obstacle between you. You saw him sitting across from you in the restaurant, felt the way his eyes bore into you.

‘Okay,’ you texted back. It was all you could handle.

Eva giggled and flopped down on the sofa, “oooh, Ray is so mad.”

“Uh huh,” you murmured as the heart emoji popped up on your screen.

“I sent him the pic I got with the Captain,” she smirked, “he’s so jealous.”

“Do you two ever stop?” you rolled your eyes and set aside your phone.

“Babe, he might be a jackass but the way he serves--”

“Say no more,” you pointed your thumb down your throat, “please.”

💌

Eva was gone before seven. You were thankful that you wouldn’t need to explain yourself to her but disappointed nonetheless. You walked the block down to the bar and stood by the corner of the low wrought iron fence that lined the busy patio. You held your phone in your hand and hugged yourself with one arm. You felt sick and numb.

You felt a light touch on your elbow and spun. Steve smiled down at you as he wore a ball cap and dark blue jacket. 

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” he said, “I got a bit held up--”

“Why are you doing this?” you asked, finally finding your voice.

“Sweetheart,” he warned as his lips straightened, “I don’t like to be interrupted.”

“I don’t understand,” you hissed, “I just don’t. I don’t know why you’re doing this.”

“Why I’m doing what? Why I love you? Sweetheart, you need to be better to yourself and if you can’t do that, then I guess I have to,” he tickled your cheek with his fingertips, “are you hungry?”

“No,” you crossed your arms as he glanced over at the patio, “please, just stop. Leave me alone.”

He closed his eyes and his jaw tensed. He swallowed and his hand dropped to your shoulder. His thumb rubbed your shoulder through your light cardigan.

“Don’t be like this,” he said, “after all I’ve done for you. After--”

“I never asked for any of it,” you croaked.

“You interrupt me again,” he squeezed your upper arm and leaned in, “and there will be consequences.”

Your eyes widened and you gaped up at him. He grinned and dropped his hand to take yours. He drew you away from the hedges along the fence and walked you down the street.

“Since you’re not hungry, I guess we can just go home,” he tugged on you as you dragged your feet and you stumbled to catch up. It felt as if he would crush your hand as he stopped by a sleek car and reached into his pocket to unlock it with a chirp, “sweetheart,” his tone was grizzly as he exhaled in frustration, “I don’t like this. This isn’t you.” He opened the door and loomed over you as he lowered his voice to a whisper, “be a good girl.”

He nudged you into the car and you sat heavily as he shut the door with snap. Your hands shook as you turned your phone over and hit the emergency call number. Before you could hit the nine, he was in the driver’s seat and ripped your phone from your grasp. The doors locked with a loud click.

“What do you think the police will do for you?” he growled as he started the car, “do you think they’ll believe you? You think they don’t have a record of all the crazed fangirls who ever followed me around?” he scoffed and reached over to slap your thigh, “buckle up…” he lifted his hand and stroked your neck, “we don’t want you getting hurt, do we?”

You slowly pulled the belt over and buckled it. You were trembling so much it took several tries. You let out a brittle breath and sank back against the seat, “no,” you said quietly as you glanced out the window.

“Good,” he said as he drove with one hand still on your leg, “I only want to keep you safe.”

💌

The walk-up looked like any other on the street. She iron railing along the concrete steps, the faded brick, the frosted glass slats of the front door, and the twisted metal numbers just above the mailbox. Steve walked behind you and kept you trapped between him and the door as he unlocked it.

You entered if just to get away from him and he calmly locked the door as he followed. He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it with his cap on the hook along the wall. He waited and crossed his arms as he watched you expectantly. You hesitated and pulled off your cardigan. He took it and draped it beside his jacket.

You froze and stared at the shoe rack. There were several pairs of women’s shoes in the cubbies and the hooks not only held his own jackets, but at least two meant for a female counterpart. You took a step back and peered around. Your blood turned to ice as you saw yourself smiling back from a photo; a picture printed out from your social media.

“I’m still working on some things,” he said as he followed your gaze and adjusted the frame on the hook, “of course, you can bring some stuff over to make it more homey.”

“What…” the air rushed from your lungs and your head spun.

You backed up and caught yourself on the wall. You were losing your mind. This couldn’t be real. None of it. He was crazy.

“Let me show you around,” he didn’t seem to notice your distress, or he just didn’t care. He grabbed your hand again and pulled you away from the wall.

You let him guide you through the front room, the dining room, the kitchen and back up the hall as he pointed out the half-bath. You didn’t process much of it and as he urged you up the stairs, you tripped and hit your knees on the next step. He helped you up swiftly, his arm around you as he walked you up the rest of the way.

You could hardly support your own weight. He sat you down on a bench along the wall as you struggled to breathe. He knelt before you and framed your face with his hands.

“I was gonna wait,” he said, “but you made me do this. And now neither of us are ready but this how it has to be.”

You reached up and grabbed his hands as you stared back at him in horror. He didn’t even flinch as he kept his hands around your face.

“Get yourself together,” he said darkly, “now.”

He dropped his hands and stood. You watched him and nodded. You gulped and got to your feet, your legs weak but you forced yourself to stand.

“I’m sorry,” you said without thinking. He smiled and your heart dropped. Why were you apologising to him? You weren’t wrong, you were trapped.

“Come on,” he shoved you ahead of him and pointed you past the open bathroom door. You peeked in as you passed and stopped at the next, “go in.”

You entered the room. It was a tidy bedroom with everything in its place. The rug, the chair, the bed, the sheets, the dresser; everything was finely arranged and painted a scene you found in lifestyle magazines. He brushed by you and pointed to the door at the other side of the bed.

“Your closet,” he said.

You went forward and opened the door as he watched. He flicked the switch as you poked your head in to look around at the hangers. There were more clothes in the closet than you ever had. Some of them were even identical to pieces you already owned.

“Before we move on,” he went to the dresser and the subtle whisper of the drawer sliding out pulled your attention back to the room, “you should change.”

He laid out a frilly lavender piece. The fabric was see-through and there was no crotch. There were flowers embroidered where your nipples would be, the fabric ruched along straps. You looked at him and back at the flimsy lingerie.

“I’ll wait outside,” he backed away, “surprise me.”

“I… Steve--”

“Captain or sir,” he corrected as he filled the doorway with his broad figure, his hand on the handle, “you will learn the rules as we go.”

“I can’t--”

“You can,” he insisted, “rule number one: you address me properly. Rule number two, you do what I say. Rule number three,” he held up three fingers, “you break the rules and there will be consequences. Don’t make me repeat myself again.”

He stepped into the hall and slammed the door. You flinched and looked back at the purple bodysuit. You shuddered and sniffed as your eyes tingled and your nose tickled. You wanted to break down and cry but your fear kept your tears inside. You undressed and pulled on the dainty lingerie.

He knocked just as you finished and pushed open the door without response. His lips parted as his eyes roved your body and you tried to fold in on yourself. He waved you forward and you reluctantly crossed the room. His fingers danced along the seam along your side and lingered just along your pelvis. You may as well be naked.

He gestured you further down the hall to the door at the very end. He slapped your ass as you walked ahead of him and he groaned. You stopped as you saw the thick latch above the handle and you felt him against your back as he caught up.

“It’s unlocked… for now,” he said.

You opened the door as the lightbulb bloomed to life on a censor but you couldn’t cross the threshold. Your mouth hung open as you looked around at the walls, sketches of you pasted across every inch. In all of them, you were naked and contorted in some lurid position; some alone, some with Steve, others you were strapped own while a few had you touching yourself.

You took a step back and collided with Steve. He urged you inside with his body and the door closed. You peered around as he turned to lock the door but there wasn’t a keyhole but a keypad. You couldn’t see what he pressed as he shielded it with his back and your legs threatened to collapse again.

More than the pictures on the wall, the room was a personal playground. There was a bench in the middle that was fit for those kinkier videos you found on the internet, with straps hooked in rings along the legs. 

Aside from that, there were leather cuffs, crops, and other whips lined up neatly over a table, surrounded by a litany of silicon, metal and glass toys. In the corner, there was a boxy machine on wheels with a rod sticking out of it. 

You spun around and Steve caught you. You reached over his shoulder for the door as panic flowed through you like electricity.

“Please,” you begged, “please, let me go. You can’t--”

“Sweetheart,” he cooed as he took you off your feet and carried you further into the room, “tonight, we’re just getting you ready…”

“No, no, no,” you ranted as you struggled against him, “no, I can’t--”

He threw you down on your feet and as you wobbled, he caught your throat, “never say no to me,” his eyes flared with anger, “do you understand?”

You swallowed and nodded stiffly above his large hand, “yes..”

“Yes, what?” he sneered.

“Yes, sir,” you forced out, “I… I…”

“Will you be good?” he asked as he lifted a brow.

“I’ll be good, sir,” you echoed.

“Turn around,” he released you harshly and you staggered awkwardly until your back was to him. 

He rounded you and grabbed your wrist, he pulled you to the cushioned horse and urged you up onto it with a curt order. As he strapped you in, your panic spiked again and you pulled with a squeal of terror.

“If you continue to struggle, it will only be worse,” he said as he buckled in your ankle, your pelvis prone over the end of the bench, “sweetheart, I have to train you because right now, you’re being bad. I can’t love you if you’re bad.”

“Please,” you eked out, “Steve, this isn’t you. You’re-- you’re Captain America--”

“And you’re mine,” he snarled and grabbed the back of your neck as he stood and pushed your head down against the bench.

He trailed his hand down your back and slapped your ass. The strike stung badly and you whimpered as you braced for another. It never came and you sensed him move away from you. You turned your head to watch him as he went to the table but could not see what he was doing.

He spun back and marched around the back of the horse. You tried to crane your head up to keep an eye on him and he smacked your ass again. 

“Eyes forward,” he commanded.

You turned your head straight as you let out a whine and he pushed his hand down your thigh. He prodded your ass with the toy in his other hand and the soft click turned to buzz as the vibrations reverberated through your flesh. He rolled it down and pressed along your folds. You squeaked at the sudden ripple it sent through you.

“Just relax,” he coaxed as he pushed between your folds and cupped the toy against your clit, his hand nestled between the leather and your cunt. Every muscle in your body tensed and you gritted your teeth as your core burned to life, “that’s it, sweetheart,” he kneaded your ass with his other hand, “gotta get you ready for me.”

You muffled a sob and pressed your cheek to the bench. You curled your fingers around the metal legs and braced yourself against the rising pleasure. His touch crawled down your ass as he rolled the toy against your bud and he pushed a finger into you. You moaned as he pulled in and out.

“That’s it,” he purred and added another finger, “sweetheart, you’re so tight. So tight for me.”

Your breath hitched as clicked the toy to a higher setting and his fingers sped up inside you as he bent them to reach that most tender spot. Your voice wisped from you without restraint and your eyes rolled back as the pleasure smothered your fear.

“I don’t think you’re ready,” he said, “too tight…” he fucked you even harder with his hand, “you need more.”

Your cunt clenched around him as you came and your walls twitched against his thick fingers. An ocean of pleasure washed over you as he teased your clit to the point of pain. You cried out at the overstimulation as your orgasm crashed down on you. You barely had time to catch your breath as he brought you to another peak and you whined desperately through your teeth.

He slid his fingers out slowly and spread your juices down your thigh and left the toy beneath you as he freed his hand. He backed away and you heard the sloppy noise of him sucking on his wet fingers. Your eyes fluttered open as he went to the table again and wiped his hand on his jeans.

He came back to you and pushed down the straps of the lingerie. He lifted you the inch allotted by the restraint and pinched your nipples with the metal clamps, letting the chain hang between them as he dropped you back down. You grumbled as the feeling plucked at your core.

He returned to the table then went to the corner. You looked up as he rolled the machine towards you, a dildo screwed onto the rod. You pulled at your cuffs helplessly and he slowed as neared you. He stopped and knelt to caress your head as he gripped the firm toy.

“Not quite as big as me,” he smirked, “but it will help…”

“Please,” your thighs tensed as the toy beneath you kept buzzing, “please, sir, no more.”

“Shhh,” he stood and rolled the machine around you.

You listened to him as he adjusted it and lined it up with your cunt. He pushed it until the tip was at your entrance and you stretched around it as he inched it forward. He stopped until the toy filled you. There was a momentary lull and then a subtle whir added to the vibe of the toy as the dildo moved mechanically in and out of you.

You sucked in air as you were fucked by the toy and Steve fixed the vibe beneath you so that it was flush to your clit. You cried out and he backed away as he looked you over. You squeezed your eyes shut as you tried to resist the pressure building inside of you. The steady motion of the toy was enough to push you further and further with each stroke.

When you opened your eyes again, you found Steve leaned against the table, his eyes watching you over a sketch pad as his hand moved a pencil on the other side. You didn’t even have the sense left to be ashamed. You bit your lip and rolled your eyes back as you succumbed to another orgasm. You heard his low hum of satisfaction and quaked atop the bench.

You groaned and opened your eyes again as he neared. He pet your head and held up the pad before you. Lines of graphite etched your image onto the paper and you stared at the sight of your fearful pleasure. He smiled proudly and stood. He puffed his chest and ripped free the page and taped it up with the rest.

“I think that’s the best one,” he said, “it’s a lot easier with the real thing.”

You quivered and panted against the bench. He disappeared behind you and the toy plunged into you even faster and deeper than before. You grunted and lifted your head as you arched your back.

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart,” he reached under you again and clicked the button on the toy until it was on the sixth setting, a vibration that built to top speed only to restart at the lowest and build back up, over and over, urging you to climax only to ease off right before it came, “you’ll be ready… soon.”

He retreated and you looked around your shoulder as you heard the pinpad, “where… where are you going… sir?”

“You need time,” he said as he opened the door, “I’ll be back when you’re ready.”

The door closed and you whined. You tried to rip your hands free from the straps and kick your legs but did nothing but add to the whirlwind of pleasure and pain. You were screwed, literally.

💌

You didn’t know how long Steve left you for but it felt like forever. You hardly heard the door as he entered or the deep of the pin pad as he locked it. You only truly knew he was there when the machine stopped. He slowly slid it out of you and rolled it back to the corner. He took the dead toy from beneath your cunt and paced around you.

He wore only his briefs and stopped by the table as he rubbed the front of them. Your vision was hazy and your mind could only think of your core. Even after all that, you wanted more. You need more. You’d been fucked for what could have been hours but hadn’t cum since he abandoned you.

He pulled down his underwear as he faced you completely. He was only half-erect as his fingers toy with a silicon ring. You squinted as he squirted lube onto the ring and rolled it down his length. He grunted as he got to his base and stroked himself as he neared.

He traced an oily finger along your cheek and gripped your jaw, “open, sweetheart.”

He was completely hard by then and pushed his tip to your lips until they parted. He slid inside as he spread his hand over your head and pinned it to the bench as bent his legs. He poked at your throat but didn’t force himself deep, even as you hardly took in half his length. He fucked your mouth carefully as your saliva squelched loudly.

“You ready for me?” he asked as he continued to thrust, “hmmm?” He pulled out of your mouth and you coughed as your spit clung to his tip. He pushed a finger against your tongue and bent over you, “we have lots of time to use that mouth…”

He stood and dragged his hand down your back and came up behind you. He groped your ass and spread your cheeks with a purr. He rested his cock between them and rubbed himself against your ass as he kneaded your hips.

“You ready, sweetheart? You gotta tell me,” he dragged his nails down your thighs and you trembled.

“I’m… ready…” you gasped out, “sir, please…”

You couldn’t think straight, you could see clearly, and you surely couldn’t fight it any longer. You wiggled your ass and let out a pathetic groan.

“Mhmmm,” he gripped his cock and pushed his tip down along your folds. He pressed against your entrance and tapped it cloyingly.

“Please… sir,” you begged, “please, I’m good. I’m being good.”

“Yes, you are,” he praised and pushed into you just a little.

You moaned and slowly he inched deeper. He was bigger than the toy, thick and throbbing as he filled you more than you could handle. You whined and exclaimed as his pelvis came flush to your cunt. Your toes curled and you scratched at the metal.

“Fuck,” he bent over you, his hard torso to your back, “you are so tight…” he whispered in your ear and felt along the clamp over your nipple, “is it too much, sweetheart?”

You nodded and bared your teeth. He pulled back and you exhaled but he thrust just as deep and you shouted in surprise. He did it again as he crushed you against the bench and squeezed the clamp tighter on your nipple. Your voice trickled from you in weak whimpers as your body shook uncontrollably.

His other arm snaked around you and he buried his hand beneath your pelvis. He parted your folds with two fingers and flicked your clit with another. You murmured and rolled your head against the leather as he sped up, his flesh clapping loudly as he hammered into you without restraint.

“Ah, sweetheart, I don’t think I’d last much longer,” he purred in your ear, “fuck I coulda cum in your mouth if I didn’t… prepare.”

He stood up and kept his hand under you as he rutted into you, his free hand against the small of your back as he played with your bud and tilted his hips wildly. His voice mingled with your own but you were so dazed, you could only hear the squelching and slapping of your bodies.

“You’re mine,” he panted between thrusts, “aren’t you? Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m… yours…” you uttered, “sir...CAPTAIN!”

You shouted as he slowed and rolled his hips tauntingly. You raised your head and squeezed the straps of your restraints as you tried to bend your legs. Your body tensed and your back arched against your will. Your tongue lolled out of your mouth as you came at last.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he groaned as you gushed around him, “fuck, you fit me perfect.”

You dropped your head and he pulled back to grip your hips, fucking you faster and harder. Your entire body ached as he railed into you. The bench quaked under you and you feared both you and the metal would break.

“All mine,” he buried himself entirely and held himself there, “sweetheart.”

He pulled out of you suddenly and you gulped at air as he came around you. He bent to unstrap your wrists and ankles. He lifted you off of the bench and you let him, too weak to stand on your own. He bent his knees and scooped you up, tossing your arms over his shoulder as he held you against him and entered you from below.

He nibbled your lip as he moved you up and down his length and you hugged him loosely. He walked around as if you weighed nothing and turned to lay you down on your back, staying inside you as he stood over the bench. He gripped your sides and rammed his hips against you as he held your ass just above the leather. Your reached up and clung to the bench above you and let your eyes roll back once more.

“Mmmm, don’t pass out on me now, sweetheart,” he grabbed your chin and forced two fingers into your mouth, “I’m not even close to finished with you.”

[harveywritings92]

BNHA vampire soulmate scenario: you see them again/ they introduce themselves.

 They find you and don't leave you alone.

--------------------------------------------------

Dabi: It had been almost a month since the 7/11 incident, Dabi kept his distance watching and protecting you from the shadows, That all change today, he was watching your house from the old abandoned grocery store-across the road from your bar (your house is on top of the bar). He noticed you haven't step outside for almost two days, Dabi frowned as he step out of his hideout and as soon as he got close enough to your home his nose scrunched up as he was hit by a fowl stench: he made a disgusted noise... it was like mix of rotten milk and cantaloupe...

You were sick! but that wouldn't explain your lack of activity...unless- Dabi felt his stomach drop into his feet he checked the gargoyle you keep by the door for your spare key, he unlocked the door and walked inside your house and found you passed out on the floor at the bottom of your stairs! he rush over crouched down to check on you... he put his hand on your neck, Fuck your skin was like a furnace. "What the fuck do I do?" he hissed picking you up of the floor and putting you on the couch in your living room.

You wheezed in protest feeling your body being lifted away from the nice cold floor, your eyes opened straining to see who had moved you? but all you could see was a black and purple blob looking down at you; before moving away from sight as your overheated mind tried to comprehend what was happening, Who was that? How did they get in... but soon you drifted back into unconsciousness, and felt something cold on the back of your head...

You woke up disoriented and very confuse you looked around and you were still in your Livingroom... with half melted bag of frozen carrots resting behind your neck and another bag of frozen corn shoved down your shirt, which bewildered you the last thing you remembered was trying to crawl upstairs and go to your room, than nothing. You heard someone clear their throat and looked next to you to find a man who looked like a ragdoll was sitting in your recliner watching you...

"Who the fuc-" you croaked only for the guy to thrust a yellow pill and a glass of water towards you. "Take this first.." he muttered as you eyed the pill suspiciously "patchy" rolled his eyes at your wariness. "It's just Tylenol." he put the glass on the coffee table and showed you the box, "If I wanted to hurt you, wouldn't I have done it already?" he stated as you hesitantly took the pill and the water from him and swallowed it trying not to gag as it went down your throat. "Who are you?" you hissed voice still hoarse trying not to show fear, which was in vain as Patchy's cerulean eyes lit up in amusement seeing through your bluff. "I have several names, but these days I go by Dabi." he said waiting for your reaction but, to his utter astonishment you clearly had no idea who he was... "ok..."Dabi" How did you get into my house?" you huffed as Dabi gave you this unimpressed look. 

"Y'know the whole reason for hiding a key, is to not make it obvious."

"What are you talking about? What key?"

"Yeah, good one...the key under the gargoyle."

"...I don't keep a key under my gargoyle."

You say watching Dabi's expression shift to confusion as the scarred man pulled the the duplicate key from his pocket, he showed it to you and your stomach felt like it was full of rocks... that was definitely your house key!... But, it looked newer, shinier then the one in your purse. "You don't recognize this?" Dabi asked feeling your fear which caused his instincts go haywire wanting to remove whatever caused the distress, as you shook your head insisting you've never owned a spare key!

Dabi took a sharp breath through his nose, taking it in all the scents around the house before picking up faint traces of a another male... Dabi let out a low inhuman growl as he relaxed against into the recliner. "Good news doll, you gotta a new roommate." Your mouth opened to protest, but something in the deep crevices of your soul was telling you to trust the scarred man as he played around with the duplicate key. with a feral glint in his eye. "Bad news is... It's gonna suck for whoever the hell pissed me off." his purred flashing his fangs at you.  

---------------------------------

Hawks: You were at work it had been to weeks since Hawks showed up on your doorstep, let's just it didn't go so well... It was like in the movies you opened the door saw the blond vampire standing there, you gasped, screamed and fainted scaring the crap out of the poor guy! At the moment he was currently loitering outside the gym you were teaching at, he could hear some of your students parents talking about you.

"It's waste I tell you, someone with her Quirk should've gone pro!" A woman said in a snarky tone the man next to her nodded. " I agree. if I had a Quirk like L/n-san I would be saving lives and kicking ass, instead of teaching kids how to dog paddle!" Keigo growled looking up from his phone and spoke up. 

"Yeah...She could've gone pro, but instead she's here teaching your kids not to drown..." 

Both adults froze and saw the number 2 hero glowering at them his wings slightly puffed and raised making him look bigger, They sheepishly apologized and scurried off, Just as you walked out, with an unreadable expression it was obvious you had heard everything just now, but were relucted to say anything as the two of you started the routine of walking home together, you were still on the ropes about Hawks. 

When he first showed up (after you woke up) you freaked out thinking he was there to to silence you and keep his secret, however after calming you down, he started going on about soulmates, blood-bonds and you being his other half, you were very reluctant to believe him after all... the first time you saw him, he was covered in blood feeding off a woman who looked half dead! Hawks seemed genuinely remorseful about you seeing that, it wasn't his intention to scare you, he explained how the woman was fine. 

She wasn't dead like Y/n had thought! he just used his venom to put her into a state of ecstasy... she likely has no idea the winged blond had been drinking her blood, She was at home most likely believing she had a wild night with the number 2 hero. He even showed you the girl's social media account to prove it; There she was doing a bathroom selfie bragging about the wicked "hickey" Hawks had given her...

Now here you are a month later and the vampire hasn't left your side since! Well... Except for when he has to go on patrol, then he has one of his feathers following you, and you have this sinking suspicion that Hawks has been sleeping on your roof at night...though you're never sure, you could hear something rolling around up there but whatever it is, is usually gone by the time you go check it out, later that night Hawks texted you inviting you to dinner, you read the restaurant's name... Dang that's pretty swanky place, you didn't even know if you had a dress or whatever to wear! luckily in the far reaches of your closet you found an old black dress that seemed suitable enough for the job... and sighed. " I only wore this once, to a funeral..." you muttered before getting ready.

You wished you had taken a shot of whiskey before you left the house, you were a ball of shaking anxiety as you entered the restaurant, the hostess eyed you with a unpleasant sneer. "Can I help you?" she said in fake sweet tone. "Y-Y/n L/n, I-I'm here to meet a Mr. T.K.?" you stammered the hostess scrunched her nose as she gave you a once over snorted. 

"I don't know how you found out about his reservation... but I can assure you the number 2 hero doesn't associate with your type." she with sneer your face would would've been flushed with anger if you weren't holding back every fiber in your body to slap that smug smile off that bitch's face. "Well can you go check?" you snapped standing up to your full height which threw the hostess off, she curt nod and walked off into the back...

(Hawks knew you were here he could smell you the second you walked in, his eyes briefly skimmed over the menu as he herd hostess approach, without you... "Sorry about that Hawks." the redhead cooed as the blonde looked at her bemused she snorted. "Some fake (h/c) slut tried to say you were waiting on her-" she continued talking as Keigo talked over her. " I am waiting for Y/n." he stated firmly as the hostess finished what she was saying. "Just let me ask my boss to let me off and we ca..." she trailed off and blinked not believing what she just heard.

"w-What?" she chortled thinking this was a joke as Hawks deadpanned repeating what he said. "I am waiting for Y/n, go get her." it wasn't request the hostess looked like a fish as she stared at the No. 2 slack-jawed. "Bu...You.. I- what about me?!" she sputtered lip quivering like a child who'd been denied candy, the winged man just eyed her incredulously making it clear he doesn't know her. "What are you talking about?" Hostess didn't answer she just stomped away to go get you.)    

A few minutes later she came back all red in the face. "Please follow me ma'am." she huffed now it was your turn to be smug. "Oh?... But I thought the No. 2 hero didn’t associate with my type?" you hissed as she snapped her head up to look at you eyes her brown eyes filled with jealous rage and you realized....It was her. The girl from the park. "My apologies ma'am." she said with a forced cheery tone as she led you to a private booth where Hawks was waiting his wings stood up at full attention as you sat down.

"Hey did you have any trouble?" he asked nodded towards the front desk where the hostess was giving both of of you the stink-eye. "You don't recognize her?" you whispered as Keigo's brow furrowed as he tried to piece it together.... had.. they slept together?...Hmm no, signed her tits? that was a possibility, He hummed scratching his beard You could tell he was drawing blanks. "She's the woman from the night...when we met?" His gold eyes widened.

 "Oh... the blood that tasted like charcoal and moldy bread." he grimaced in disgusted as he finally pieced it together you tilted your head as him bemused. "That’s what smoker's blood taste like...to me anyways, other Vamps have told me it varies." he stated you hummed nodding your head both intrigue and worried that you were getting use to this odd situation.

While you two were going over the menu, Keigo couldn't help but notice how off you were acting, you were fidgeting and looking around almost like you were...scared. why would you scared? all the other girls he'd brough.... Then it hit Keigo like ton of bricks. 

He was treating you like one of his fans! and not his...hopefully soon to be lover, Dammit! He didn't even think about your comfort zones or asked if you wanted to go out and where did you want to go, he just assumed you would jump at the chance, because what girl doesn't want to go on a date with the number two hero?

After a few moments Keigo put the menu down. "Hey...wanna get out of here?" You were about to protest but the blond put his hand up. "Let me rephrase that; Do you want go somewhere else?" you shyly nodded Keigo called the waiter paid for the drink he had earlier and the two of you went on a very simple and impromptu park date involving pizza and an outdoor movie theater that Keigo had no idea existed; all in all he actually had fun! 

And so did you given the joy and admiration he was sensing coming off you in waves. as opposed the fear and defensiveness you usually gave off around him, which made Hawks hopeful for the future... but for now he'll just settle on being friends, He smiled staring at the spare key you gave him, the blond let out a tiny churr feeling giddy as he fell asleep on your couch, as you caught him outside earlier.  

…..Yes, he was totally sleeping on your roof.

[riotgirl21]

Mental Health Fic for @doinmybesthere : Bokuto

A/N: Writing this was difficult. I struggled with my weight since my teens and have been recovering from an ED. I’ve never liked how I looked so this was hard.

It started with small things at first. Moving his hands when he spooned you and putting his hands on your legs or hips, wearing layers around the house even when it was warm, getting annoyed when he tickled you instead of laughing like you usually did and most recent was not taking selfies with him when he asked. The last one was very odd, you both had albums dedicated to selfies everytime you went on a date.

Bokuto was officially confused.

He started paying more attention to the way you held yourself, he often caught you staring into space when you were watching a film or picking at the food you had spent hours cooking. You stopped buying the snacks you enjoyed and would sit there while he ate them during movie night. You had refused to go out today, instead opting to stay indoors in your hoodie and some leggings.

Another thing he noticed, you had stopped wearing shorts. He loved seeing your legs and ass in them, they always looked amazing and he would enjoy laying on them during a movie or when you were lounging around. Not that the leggings looked bad, it was just different.

"Hey babe, a new restaurant opened down the road, you wanna get take out tonight instead of cooking?"

Bokuto was scrolling through his phone for the menu, he'd seen the storefront in the way back from the gym and wanted to try it out. Plus he thought you were tired so the rest would do you some good, maybe you'd feel better.

"No, thank you Kou." You yelled from the bathroom. "You go ahead though."

"But.... but... but it's no fun by myself."

Met with silence, he pouted before peering at the bathroom door where you had been for at least 20 minutes. You weren't showering, the water wasn't on and you weren't using the toilet since the door was ajar. Hoping to be able to persuade you to get food he dropped his phone on the sofa before calling out to you while he bounced over to the bathroom.

"Baaaaaaabe, let's get- what are you doing?"

Dropping you t-shirt, you gasped when you saw your boyfriend open the door. Wiping your face, you shook your head as walked to him and kissed him on the cheek. Trying to move past, you avoided his gaze when he pulled you back gently towards him.

"Nothing. It's all good." Forcing your voice to be happy you moved away again, feeling the tears well up when he started lifting up your hoodie. "Don't... please."

"Baby, tell me what's wrong. You've been off recently and I don't know why. Did I do something? Is it work? Or family?" Pulling you into a hug, Bokuto cupped the back of your head as you started crying. "Woah, hey. Baby, please don't cry."

"I hate it."

Placing his ear towards you, he listened as you mumbled again.

"I hate my body. I hate it all."

The last word was a sob, body shaking as you cried while he held you. His arms around your body holding you close, he could feel the tears seep through his t-shirt and his chest actually hurt as he listened to you. Shushing and rocking you gently, he maneuvered you both to the bedroom and stood you both in front of the mirror.

Looking at your reflection, he marveled at how lucky he was to have you in his life. You supported him and looked after him, made sure he ate and rested after a match. His friends adored you and were super jealous, going as far to say that you were too good for him and they would steal you away. His family adored you too, you fit in with his sisters and his mum would often buy cute couple outfits for you both on holidays like Christmas.

Gently forcing you to look up, he wiped your tears and kissed your eyelids then your forehead. Tucking your hair behind your ears and wiping your nose with the bottom of his t-shirt, smiling when you wrinkled your nose at him.

"Tell me what part you don't like, baby."

"All of it."

Sighing, he shook his head fondly before turning your around to face the mirror, a little harder when you tried to move away and hide.

"Show me."

Tears began welling up in your eyes again, you shook your head before covering your face.

"Close your eyes then." Moving your hands down to your sides, he kissed the back of your head. "Tell me."

Taking an audible deep breath even with your eyes closed you felt exposed. You didn't look in the mirror unless you really needed to and even then you avoided full length ones. Never walking around the house half naked like your boyfriend did and definitely did not let him fuck you in front of it.

"My arms. They're... they wobble when I... when I move them."

You felt Bokuto's hands run from your shoulders to your hands and back again, stopping at your elbows. His breath was warm in your ear, chin resting on your shoulders you spoke.

"These arms? The ones that hold me when I'm sick, hug me when I'm down. These arms? The ones that are attached to these hands. The very hands that run through my hair when I'm lying down on your lap or go around my neck when I'm kissing you. Baby, I love these arms."

"Kou... I... I can't."

A kiss to your cheek, your body rocking side to side as he hummed.

"You can. It's just me, baby."

"My stomach... it's got rolls and when I sit they... bulge over my jeans."

Bokuto's hands moved to your stomach, moving past your hoodie and leggings, instead resting on your bare skin. Even when you moved to remove them, he held tight.

"This stomach? The one that keeps you alive? Fills with food when you're hungry? The one that protects all your organs and keeps my girl alive? The very stomach that will carry my baby one day. That stomach? Baby, do you know how thankful I am for your stomach."

You couldn't help but smile a little, his words were sweet and so sincere... even if they sounded odd to anyone else, they were perfect coming from him.

"Next?"

"Kou..."

"You can do this, come on."

"My thighs have stretch marks on them and cellulite. It looks horrible in swimsuits."

His hand moved to your ass, giving it a small tap before they caressed the front of your thighs. Eyes still closed, you could feel him tugging your leggings down before his fingers rubbed the naked skin of your legs.

"These legs? The one that carry you when you run to me after a game? The ones that wrap around my hips when I'm inside you. The legs that help you run when we're having a tickle fight? These legs baby? I love these legs, they fit perfectly around me."

Shaking your head again, tears streaming down your face now as Bokuto kissed your neck. Hands turning your around by your hips before he kissed you sweetly, slowly and with intent. His hands cupping your ass before moving up to your back and neck.

"This body is perfect. There's nothing wrong with how it looks. You're perfect for me, baby. I don't want you feeling like this, I'll tell you how beautiful you are everyday if that helps. If you're worried about things like this, you can come out with me when I go for a run or we can go hiking, I know you love that. Yeah?" You nodded. "Now what about dinner? You need to eat something."

"I don't... I..."

"How about a compromise? We can cook some food at home and then share something small from the restaurant down the road. A starter or something?"

You started to nod, thoughts running hough your mind. The calories, the nutrients all filing through your brain like a movie.

"Baby, look at me." Holding your face in his hands, he rubbed his nose against yours. "It's ok. You choose the starter, yeah? Something we can share."

You nodded again, more confident than before but still worried.

"Nothing will change how much I love you. Understand? You're always going to be my girl."

[talkfastromance4]

when i’m dreaming--calum hood oneshot

yeah so i’m going through something so this is very, very self-indulgent. 

word count: 2.3k

warnings: drinking linked a little with coping, going through a depressive low, best friend!calum

feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

***

Calum notices something is wrong the minute she steps outside. He was about to take a drink of his white claw, but his eyes went to her nails when she pulled Crystal in for a hug. She typically paints them to match her mood and today they’re opalescent pink, barely noticeable but still there. In plain sight but still visible while she secretly wants to be invisible.

She smiles and cracks jokes with everyone she says hello to then when she steps in front of Calum, he sees the sadness in her eyes. They’ve been best friends for awhile now, they’ve shared secrets, stories of first loves and heartaches, their fears, their wildest dreams. But there was always something she kept hidden, tucked away in a box welded shut.

“Hey bud,” she sighs.

“Hey short stuff,” he grins playfully pulling her in for a hug. Her arms wrap around him and he makes sure to give her an extra tight squeeze.

“I’m not that short,” she grumbles in his chest.

“You’re shorter than me,” he reminds rubbing her shoulder with his thumb. Although her arms are loose around him he can feel the tension in her shoulders that she’s carrying.

“Stop hogging her! I haven’t seen her in weeks!” Ashton exclaims and Calum pulls away.

He knows it was too soon to break the hug but to keep up with her own façade he doubts anyone else sees, he does it.

“Hey, you’re the one who disappeared into the desert for all those weeks,” she jokes rising on her toes to loop her arms around Ashton’s neck.

He gives her a big bear hug that lifts her a few inches off the ground, Calum sees her nails digging into her arm as she squeezes him.

“Had to recenter myself, you should try it sometime,” Ashton teases right back. As if she was shocked, she removes herself from the hug then accepts a bottle of Mike’s from Luke.

“I can take something stronger than this, Hemmings,” she takes a large chug regardless.

“Yeah? Like tequila? I got some limes,” he jerks his thumb behind him towards the drink table.

“I said stronger not deadly. You know I can’t handle tequila,” she scrunches her nose.

Everyone else laughs but alarms are going off in Calum’s head.

“Yeah, the floor of my Tesla doesn’t like tequila either,” Michael chimes in with a tray of shots.

“I told you to pull over,” she shrugs lifting up a shot. She takes a whiff and nods in approval at his selected alcohol choice.

“I was going 75 on the freeway!”

“And that’s why I threw up. Ready?” she lifts her glass.

Calum meets her eyes as over the hands of their friends as Ashton gives an impromptu speech about friendship and long rides. He wasn’t really paying attention because when their eyes locked, he saw the panic, he saw the fear of whatever was going on in her head.

**

The next time he sees her is at the movies. Her eyes are darker along with her nails that are now a hunter’s green; camouflaged but still visible. While they’re waiting in line for snacks, he lifts her hand in his and runs his thumb over the color.

“This is a pretty color, I’ve never seen it on you before,” he says.

“Yeah, um…wanted to try something different,” she shrugs. “Do you want the blue icee?”

“Is that even a question?” he raises a brow, and she laughs.

Once they’re settled in the seats the previews start. Calum opens up the bags of sweet and sour treats while she opens the boxes of milk duds. The large bowl of popcorn (with extra butter) is settled between them, long red straws sticking out of their frozen drinks.

Throughout the whole movie, it’s an action romantic comedy, Calum keeps glancing at her. He watches her fingers disappear in the popcorn bowl, her hunter’s green nails appearing black in the dark theater. Calum’s seen enough movies to know this moment is foreshadowing the darkness she’s slipping into. He’s preparing himself for the fall but he’s not entirely sure she is.

**

Two weeks have gone by and he hasn’t seen her since the movie. Their schedules didn’t align so he decided to surprise her with takeout from her favorite Asian restaurant and chocolate cake from her favorite bakery.

When he opens the door, he hears Friends playing on her tv and he finds her horizontal on the couch. The hood of her sweatshirt is over her head, her arms wrapped around her torso, her black nails clutching the fabric.

Calum braces himself for what he’s walking into, sets the food on her counter and crouches in front of her. He pulls her hoodie back a little so he can see her face a bit better, her eyes are distant and staring off behind him.

“Hey,” he says softly then touches her hand. It’s very cold. “Y/N.”

Upon hearing her name does she finally look at him. Her eyes have filled and spilled with her tears in a matter of seconds. He links her fingers through his.

“Hi,” she mouths, her voice barely registering.

“Is this about…him?” he asks delicately.

About a year ago he chipped away at the welding on the box. He knows it involves a guy. He knows it’s about bad timing. He knows it’s about deep emotions.

She nods and the tears erupt more. She buries her face in her hands then adds another layer by hiding in the pillow.

“Nope, nope, hey,” he tugs on her arms. She’s pliant and allows him to drag her in a sitting position. He takes the place where her head was then brings her onto his lap. “I’ve got you, I’m right here.” He murmurs and pulls her hoodie down so he can rub at her hair.

She sobs loudly into his neck. Calum holds her as tight as he can, murmuring comforting words in her ear. Her sobs would subside, but he wouldn’t let go until she did. She’s very good at keeping her emotions at bay and even better at keeping people further away from her harbor. She doesn’t ask for help often, she doesn’t open up too much and when she does it’s always the footnoted version.

Three episodes of Friends later, her hold lessens, she gives a big sniff and peels herself away from Calum. He uses the sleeves of his shirt to wipe at her tears and nose.

“Have you eaten?” he asks, and she shakes her head. “I brought food. I’ll heat it up for you.”

She nods and falls back onto the couch. He rubs her knee then heads into the kitchen. When the food is prepared on plates he brings it to her and she takes it, scarfing down the first few bites heartily.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she finally speaks when her plate is empty.

“I know,” he nods looking over at her until she meets his brown eyes. “It’s okay.”

Calum ends up staying the night, his mind reeling from what the history is with this mystery guy. His thoughts get away from him as he stares at the ceiling above the couch. Was he some celebrity that kept her under the radar and broke her heart repeatedly? A Prince from some far-off country that got her hopes up and crushed them again and again?

He’s tossing and turning until he hears the shower turn on. Sad songs play over and over on her speakers, her voice singing along with the yearning words. Ghostin’ by Ariana and When the Party’s Over by Billie replay one after another.

She’s really hurting.

Calum bounds off the couch and opens the bathroom door.

“Y/N?” he makes sure his voice is a little louder than the music.

A sniff. “Yeah?” her voice is thick.

“Just want you to know I’m here,” he shuts the door and sits next to the shower.

His heart aches when he hears her crying again, the vocals echo and bounce off the tiles. Her sadness fills the room just as it’s filled in the hidden box of the guy who’s making her feel this way.

Four more repeats go by and the shower is finally shut off. Calum scrambles off the floor, sees her tug the towel from the door of the shower. Her shadow figure wraps it around herself and she opens the door. Her skin is red from the hot water, as are her eyes and cheeks from crying more tears. He grabs another towel and helps dry her hair while she stands there avoiding her reflection in the mirror.

“It’s been five years, why do I still feel like this?” she asks quietly.

“It hurts the most when it meant something.”

He left the bathroom after he dried and brushed her hair then waited for her in her bedroom. There’s pictures on her desk from high school. Her and some guy at prom. Her and the same guy a little bit older posing in a selfie on a couch, drunken smiles on their faces. Her and the same guy a little older again posed outside.

This must be from that box. She’s cracked it open and Calum is staring at some of the pieces that have broken her wholly.

“His name’s Henry,” she explains suddenly behind him.

Calum turns to her voice. The drastic change from the happy girl in the photos to the sad girl before him startles him. He remains silent to let her speak or to go into silence again. She moves onto her bed, sitting in the center and tucks her legs against her chest.

“We never dated. But we were always…together. Together in the physical sense for four years,” she continues. Calum joins her cautiously on the bed and listens. “Back and forth always. After every relationship we fell back into each other. He’s the longest relationship I’ve had, and it wasn’t even a real one.

“We cared about each other, and…I think he loved me. Time wasn’t on our side. It was too much or too little, I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Just when I think I’ve let go; I dream of him. Then he’s on my mind for days. And now this time…” she shakes her head and Calum pulls her against him. “I went on socials and I found out that he um…he’s a dad now. And I feel so stupid because that could have been me if we kept what we had. I feel stupid because a part of me wanted it to be me.”

Calum doesn’t fully understand the ins and outs of their relationship, but four years of physical affection and a rock to lean on, that’s a lot of history. He also doesn’t fully understand how this guy didn’t make it official with Y/N. She’s the perfect best friend with a big heart.

Calum wishes he knew her in school because he would have been the one to take her to prom. He would have been the one take her to movies and dinners and surprise her with flowers. He would have made it official rather than keep her guessing.

“I’m really going through it and I don’t know how to get out,” she whispers sadly.

“I think…” Calum heaves a big sigh and kisses her wet head. “I think you’re just cracking the surface of breaking free. I can tell he meant a lot to you and you meant a lot to him. Even if he never said it, you’ll always be a part of him just like he’ll be a part of you. Someone that important won’t just poof away.”

“But I want him to, it hurts.”

“I know it does, sweetheart. I’ll help you in any way I can, okay?”

“You’re so understanding and you’re so good, but I don’t want to cry over another guy when you’re here.”

“That’s what best friends do.”

She turns her head and gazes up at him. He notices the storm in her eyes aren’t as dark, her lips are chapped from the cracking of memories she spilled out.

“Calum, you’re more than my best friend.”

He hears a deeper truth in her statement, and it causes his breathing to quicken. The subtle yet very noticeable flick of her eyes to his lips causes him to react. He gives her a quick peck, but that smallest touch sent an enormous shock through his system.

They settle against her pillows, the kiss wasn’t awkward, but it filled them both with questions. Questions that will be answered at a different time because right now he wants to hear this most vulnerable part of her life. She takes his hand in hers first and plays with his fingers while she talks.

He makes comments and asks questions to try and understand a bit more. Calum kisses her head when her voice starts to shake. Hours go by and the sky starts to lighten, birds are awakening.

“Hey,” she says right as he’s about to fall asleep. They talked all night, but she quieted down about twenty minutes.

“Hm?” he opens his eyes.

“We match.”

He looks down at their intertwined fingers when she taps on his nail. His polish is chipped away from chewing on a hangnail then smiles at the black color. He lifts their hands and kisses their knuckles.

“I feel what you feel.”

“What exactly do you feel?”

“I felt you slipping. I can sense your emotions when no one else can, and I guess I painted my nails subconsciously because I didn’t want you to be alone in the dark,” he explains. She’s quiet for a moment and he thinks she really fell asleep this time.

“Thank you. I don’t think I’ll be this bad again.”

“If you are, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”

“Cal?”

“Hmm?” he sighs. It’s getting harder to keep his eyes open, but he doesn’t want her to stop talking. He doesn’t want her out of his arms.

“When I’m dreaming tonight it will be of you.”

**

Taglist: @calpalirwin @myloverboyash @loveroflrh @cxddlyash @princesslrh @spicylftv @notinthesameguey @itjustkindahappenedreally @calumance @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sarcastically-defensive17 @another-lonely-heart @devilatmydoor @thatscooibaby @suchalonelysunflower @dead-and-golden @mymindwide @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @karajaynetoday @quasighost @i-like-5sos @creampiecashton @calpops​ @littledrummeraussie​ @sexgodashton​ @f-mu​

[wrathandgreed]

🖤💢🧲💞💔 Satan?

🖤 - Random Romantic Headcanon

Maybe it comes from the number of novels he’s read, but he really truly loves outdoor/nature dates, especially picnics. The peace and quiet of the outdoors is a direct (and pleasing) contrast to the chaos in the house. He loves finding little wildflowers and putting them in your hair. Reading to you while you weave flower crowns or nibble on some baked goods or just stare up at the clouds is amazingly calming and romantic to him.

He likes to leave little notes for you to find. Sometimes he places them inside books he’s lending you, or he writes them in your notes so you’ll get a pick-me-up before another RAD test. Some of them are truly romantic, full of “I love yous” and lines of poetry, some of them are “let’s discuss this later” notes for the book you’re reading, and some are more like “redeem for free kiss” coupons that he leaves under your phone.

What are some habits of theirs that would take getting used to? (Sorry, can’t get the emoji on my ipad!)

The books.....are.....everywhere. Books on shelves, sure. Books in piles on the floor, okay. Books in the bed, questionable. Books under the sink in the bathroom? Really? Books FLOATING IN MIDAIR?? You smacked into one while trying to get up and pee in the middle of the night! Ouch! Every single space in his room is full of sharp hardcover book corners and, sometimes, it’s really freaking annoying. At some point, you have to either succumb or take a stand and refuse to sleep in his room until the bed is clear and there’s solid walkways.

He insists on watching every movie twice. The first time is to absorb the story. The second time is to dissect it with you for symbols, character growth, narrative flow, and basic storytelling principles. This is fine if you’re watching Jane Austen movies or some kind of super-intense Oscar winner. But do we need to do this for every barely-budgeted D-list horror movie? Can we just enjoy something without dissecting it? Once? (Satan has been removed from the Movie Night group chat.)

He insists on paying. For everything. It’s something he got from Lucifer without realizing it. You will NEVER be the one to approach the barista with an order. You will never be able to grab the check off the restaurant table first. At the bookstore? Forget it. He has an account; he doesn’t even pay there. The bills go right to Lucifer. This might be pleasing or annoying, depending on your tastes, but it definitely takes getting used to.

🧲 - What’s an easy way to turn them on/get them riled up?

I mean, do we even have to say it? Cat ears. Seriously, any kind of cat ears. If you have a pair of headphones with cat ears, get rid of them or you’ll never be allowed to listen to music in peace. If you want to really go for it, though, get a pair like the boys have to be wearing in the Paws and Claws events - ones that look really real, that twitch and move. Get them in your favorite color, or his favorite green-and-black. Be waiting in his room wearing the ears and a collar with a bell (and nothing else) and you won’t walk right tomorrow. Any time you want to torture him, take a selfie of yourself wearing the ears - even if you’re fully dressed - and send it to him at the most inopportune times. Wait until he’s being lectured by Lucifer or in a student council meeting or at an art gallery opening.

On a less deliberate note, he’s an absolute sucker for watching you stretch to reach things placed juuuuust a little too high for you. Watching your whole body lengthen out, watching your skirt ride up or your pants stretch over your ass, mesmerizes him. And if this happens with you in the library or his room, reaching tall for a book, you might not escape 😉

Also, you having anything around your neck, like a choker or collar. It doesn’t have to be sexual, but any time you wear one he can’t take his eyes off you. At every one of Diavolo’s fancy events, you make sure to wear a jeweled collar as a necklace.

💞 - Are they a big cuddles? What is cuddling them like?

Initially, he’s definitely not big into cuddles. He’s not used to physical touch and always, in the back of his mind, is the knowledge that he could get angry and hurt you at almost any moment. So he tends to be really stiff every time you lean into him or rest your body on him.

But he gives in really quick.

He realizes that when he relaxes into it, the anger that rages in him is less. Not gone, but it’s like the volume on it is turned down. So he becomes INTENSELY into cuddles. Anywhere the two of you are together, he’s touching you if he can. And if it’s a place you can relax, he’s cuddling.

His absolute favorite is snuggling on the couch - him on his back, you resting next to/on top of his chest. He can balance the bottom of his book on your shoulder and read, either silently or out loud to you, and it’s the calmest and most relaxed he’s ever been in his life.

If you need to be upright and doing something, resting your legs in his lap seems to be enough.....at least for awhile.

💔 - What could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

There’s the obvious things like cheating on him or dumping him to date one of his brothers, but that would wind up producing more wrath than heartbreak. I mean, definitely “destroy the Devildom brick by brick” levels of wrath, but every time he thought about it, he’d have the anger to sustain him, rather than heartbreak.

What would truly break his heart is indifference.

If you just.....fell out of love. If you went back to the human realm and just kind of faded out of his life.

He already deals with the feeling that people don’t see him, just an extension of Lucifer. To be forgotten, like he wasn’t worth remembering or keeping.....

Or worse, if you stayed in the Devildom and the relationship just kind of evaporated, drop by drop.

The only person in millennia to understand him, to really listen to him, to understand his pain and his trauma. The only one to get how he’s built himself together through knowledge. The only person who can calm him down with a few words or a soft brush of fingers through his hair.

The idea that the person who gave him so many new emotions - love, peace, true enjoyment - could look in his eyes and feel nothing.....

I think his heart - the new heart that you gave him - would simply wither and die.

[idy-ll-ique]

What The Hell, Gyllenhaal, You Could’ve Just Told Me!

Pairing: Jake Gyllenhaal x F!Reader

Requested: Nope

Warnings: None

Genre: Floof

Summary: Y/N is Jake's assistant and he has an interview with Another Man.

Author's Note: I've had enough of not posting so you're getting this. I wrote it a long time ago, I think a few weeks after his actual interview with Another Man. Anyway, I'm posting it now so enjoy!

---

Jake POV:

"Y/N! Where are you?" I groaned as she finally picked up my call. "Outside, open the door!" I got up from the couch and opened the main door to see Y/N rushing towards me. I blinked, she looked so beautiful. Then again, she always did. I ended the call and kept my phone away. "Thank God, where were you?" I asked her as she stood outside, panting. "I'm sorry, my alarm didn't go off, my phone's battery died. I woke up late and then… well, now that I'm here, we should probably leave."

I nodded, grabbing the keys to my car and house. We left the house and got into my car. Y/N, if you didn't know, was my assistant. And she was the prettiest girl I had ever laid my eyes on. "Where to, first?" I asked her. She took out her phone. "Interview for Another Man. Then the photoshoot," she told me. I sighed and she looked at me. "Everything cool?" she asked softly. "Yeah, I'm bored already." She laughed, which made me smile.

"Come on, man! You were so excited about this, I know you. It's something else." I chuckled, shaking my head. "It's nothing, I swear." She stared at me suspiciously for a few seconds and then gave up. "Whatever." There was silence in the car as Y/N opened Instagram on her phone. "Should I put on some songs? We've got at least another half an hour in the car," I said and she shrugged. "Sure! Songs would be nice." I grinned and turned the radio on. 

Y/N raised her phone and I glanced at her. Oh, she loved taking photos. I followed her on Instagram, it was the best thing ever. She posted videos of her dancing and singing. As planned, half an hour later, we reached the office of Another Man. I parked the car and the two of us got out. We walked towards the entrance.

"Oh my God, Y/N?!" At the high-pitched squeal, both of us turned around. Two women walked up to us. "Hi," Y/N waved. "We're big fans! We love your Instagram, you have a beautiful voice!" Y/N exchanged hugs with both of them. I stood to the side, smiling. "Holy shit, Jake Gyllenhaal!" one of them squealed, looking at me. "Hello." I shook hands with the two ladies. "Can we get a quick photo, please?" Their names were Rebecca and Julie.

Julie raised her phone to take a selfie. Y/N draped an arm around my shoulders. My arm went around her waist and we smiled at the camera. After that, they went away. "You're more famous now," I teased Y/N as we resumed our walk towards the building. "Shut up," Y/N muttered with a smile on her face, giving me a slight push.

I laughed, shoving my hands in the pocket of my jeans. "Really though, I agree with them. You do have a beautiful voice," I said as we walked into the building. I saw the interviewer and his crew waiting for us. 

"Aw, thanks Jakey-poo," Y/N smirked and I rolled my eyes. "Don't call me that," I told her and she shrugged. "Okie, Jacob Benjamin Gyllenhaal," she grinned. "Jake is fine," I sighed, waving at her as I walked towards the interviewer. He led me to another room and I glanced back at Y/N. She sat in the lobby on a couch, keeping her backpack on her lap.

The interviewer and I sat down. "Hi, I'm Alex," he said, holding his hand out. "Hi," I smiled, shaking his hand. 

"One question before the cameras roll- Who's the girl outside?" he asked. "Oh, that's my assistant, Y/N Y/L/N. Very sweet gal. She's more famous than I am, apparently," I laughed. "Really? How's that?" Alex asked, amazed. "We met two fans outside, like, 15 minutes ago. They recognized her first," I snorted. Alex laughed, too. The cameras rolled and we began with the interview. 

---

 "Thank you for talking to us, Jake! It's truly been amazing." Alex and I stood up, shaking hands. "Thank you for having me! Do we do the photoshoot now?" I asked him. "Yeah. We have a few sets designed and a few venues as well, assuming you'll be comfortable shooting at different places?" I scoffed, waving my hand. "Of course, I'm cool." Alex then introduced me to Jessie, who was the photographer. "How about I meet you at the bridge?" she offered.

"Sure, no problem."

She gave me the address and left. I walked out of the room and looked around for Y/N. She wasn't where she was supposed to be. Her stuff was there, where was she? "Boo!" Startled, I turned to look to my right. Y/N was grinning at me, wiping her hands with tissues. "Goddamn it," I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "Ha, gotcha. I was in the bathroom, silly," she snorted, walking towards her backpack. She kept her phone away and swung the backpack over her shoulders. 

"Where to, Captain?" she asked, tipping an imaginary cap. I told her the address as we walked out of the building. "You know, I met 3 people while you were giving an interview. I guess I am famous," she mumbled. "That is awesome, Y/N," I smiled, getting into the car. Y/N sat next to me and opened her backpack. "Yo, drink water."

She handed me a bottle of water before I could start the car. "I'm not thirsty." She stared at me with a raised eyebrow until I drank some water. 

I could never deny her, could I? I had a huge crush on her and it was common knowledge that people would do anything for their crush. I handed the bottle back and started the car. The bridge where we were supposed to go was nearly an hour away. "Ah, here it is. I waited for this for so long now, it's here. I'm impressed." What was she talking about? "What?" I asked her.

"News about us dating!" I nearly swerved the car. "The news about us WHAT?!" I asked her loudly. 

"Calm down, you big baby. Apparently when we met Rebecca and Julie there were paps around and they took a lot of photos. You know them, always printing the wrong news," she rolled her eyes. "Well then, Miss Famous, post it on your Instagram, tell them we're not dating," I grumbled. I did want to date her, though.

"Ah, good idea." She opened Instagram and I could hear her long nails clicking against the phone as she furiously typed something out. "Done," she said a minute later. 

"What did you write?"

 "I had been waiting for news like this. LMAO, I'm not dating @jakegyllenhaal I'm his babysitter," Y/N chuckled. "You wrote that?!" I yelled. Y/N burst out laughing. "Kidding, I wrote assistant, don't worry," she wheezed. I sighed in relief. A few minutes passed by in silence.

All of a sudden, Y/N's stomach started growling. "Shit, sorry," she whispered, blushing furiously. She clutched her stomach. "Hungry?" I chuckled. "Yeah," she sighed. "Wanna stop by, get some food?" She quickly shook her head. "No, we'll be late, then." I frowned. 

"It doesn't matter, you do. Come on, tell me where you want to eat," I said and she continued shaking her head. "It's alright. After the shoot we'll catch a snack, for sure," she insisted. I gave up. "Do you at least have snacks in that bag?" "Sure," she mumbled, taking out a toffee. She peeled off the wrapper and ate it. "Did you eat breakfast?" I questioned. "Nah, I was late, remember? Didn't bother," she shrugged.

"Not done, you gotta eat," I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, dad."

We reached the venue and I parked my car at the start of the bridge. The bridge was isolated for the shoot. "Aren't you getting down?" I asked Y/N when she didn't move. "I'm fine," she muttered, looking away. What happened with the sudden mood change? "Okay," I said slowly and closed the door after getting out. I kept the AC running for Y/N. Jessie was on the bridge, waiting. "Oh, hey, Jake! Ready?" I gave her a small smile. "Sure." She walked away and I leaned against the railing, sighing.

"Everything alright?" I heard and turned to look at the guy working on the lights. "Yeah, I'm fine," I told him and he nodded. "Alright, huge smile!" Jessie called out from a few feet away, holding the camera up. I managed a smile. Jessie was about to click the photo when she frowned. "Come on, man, not genuine. What's up?" Ignoring her question, I gave a broader smile. She simply lowered the camera, staring at me with a raised eyebrow. 

"We need authentic smiles, Jake. Do you want to shoot a little later when your mood is better?" Jessie asked softly, walking towards me. "Please! How about 2 hours later?" I sighed, relieved. "It's Y/N, isn't it?" I stared at her, shocked.

She only gave me a knowing smile. "I'm just like you, Jake. When my girlfriend is unhappy, my mood changes as well. Go make her feel better, then return when you're done," Jessie chuckled, patting my arm. I nodded and started walking away. I didn't even have the heart to correct her about the whole 'girlfriend' thing. 

"Also, what happened? Did you two get in a fight?" I turned around to face Jessie. "No, I… I found out Y/N did not eat breakfast and she was really hungry… but she refused to eat because I would be late to this shoot. She doesn't care a lot about herself because of me. I feel… guilty," I explained in a tired voice, rubbing the back of my neck. "Well then, I would definitely suggest feeding her first if it would make you feel better," she laughed. I gave her a small smile and walked towards my car. 

When I reached, my eyes widened. "Y/N, what the fuck, what happened? Why are you crying?" I hastily opened the door and sat in the driver's seat. She sniffled and wiped her tears. "I'm fine, it's just… whenever I'm super hungry I get all moody and sad because my stomach hurts and- Wait, are you done with the shoot already?" she questioned, confused. "No, we postponed it, we're up 2 hours later." I started the car. "What- Where are we going, Jake?" she asked as I drove to the nearest fast food restaurant. 

"We gotta put some food in that belly."

Y/N chuckled and I felt a hand on my thigh. "Thank you," she whispered, laying her head on my shoulder. "It's okay." We fell silent. "Did you postpone the shoot because of me?" Y/N asked quietly a few minutes later. "Yeah. I felt bad that you didn't eat for a long time and I couldn't smile for the photos. Jessie figured out it had something to do with you. She suggested we postpone, actually," I told her truthfully. "You're too sweet." 

Y/N pressed a kiss to my cheek and I smiled. We arrived at a McDonald's drive thru. We collected our orders and I drove back to the bridge. I parked the car in the same spot as before and turned to Y/N. 

"After you, milady," I smiled, gesturing towards the food. She took off the covering and bit into the burger. "Thank you so much, Jake, you're the best boss one could ask for," she squealed and I chuckled. I took out my phone to quickly check my Instagram while Y/N ate. I wasn't hungry, I didn't order anything for myself. When I heard a giggle, I looked up. 

Y/N had sauce all over her lips, pretending it was her lipstick. I opened the camera app and discretely clicked a photo because she looked too cute. With a smile, I returned to Instagram. "Wanna share?" Y/N questioned and I looked back at her. She was holding up the pack of fries. 

"Nah, I'm cool. You're the one who should be eating!" I told her. "Come on, man! You bought me two goddamn Big Macs and I was barely able to finish them! Eat this with me!" She shook the pack of fries in front of my face. I sighed and picked out one. We shared the pack of fries. 

Y/N was in a much better mood after eating. We had half an hour to kill after eating before we were back on schedule. "So… Y/N, tell me something about yourself." She narrowed her eyes at me. "What?" she deadpanned. "Come on, we've got nothing to do. Talk to me," I whined. "Well… what should I tell you?" she shrugged. "Your favourite things," I smiled. 

"The colour red, red roses, winter… the song Happy Now by Zedd…" she said, counting on her fingers. 

"That's nice, but I've never heard of the song," I shrugged. "Oh, no? The one that goes you're a world away, somewhere in the crowd, in a foreign place, are you happy now? There's nothing left to say, so I shut my mouth; won't you tell me, babe, are you happy now?" A smile bloomed on my face as Y/N sang. "Sing it for me," I blurted out and she looked at me. 

"Okay, let me put on the karaoke." Both of us took out our phones. I opened Camera and kept the video recorder ready. 

"Are you recording?" Y/N sighed, putting on the karaoke. "No, I'm on Instagram." Y/N believed my lie and started singing. She sang the first verse and the chorus. After she was done, I ended the video. "That was awesome! People are right, you do have an awesome voice," I told her with a grin. "Great! Your mood has improved, Jake, go for the shoot," Y/N said with a smile. "Only if you come along." Both of us got out of the car. 

Jessie was talking to someone but turned as soon as she saw us. "Oh, hey guys! I hope you're fine now," Jessie snorted, looking at me. "I'm fine, honestly," I laughed. "Great! Let's get to work!" The photoshoot was a huge success. I had broad smiles throughout because everytime Jessie clicked a photo, my eyes were on Y/N. 

---

"Ya know, Jake, you shouldn't cut your hair."

Y/N and I were back at my place. "What? Why?" I asked, running a hand through my hair. "I think it's a good look on you. I like men with long hair, so when you're like, cuddling, you get to play with their hair," Y/N smiled, not looking up from her phone. I stared at her, a smile on my face. A few seconds later, Y/N looked up, wide eyed, cheeks as red as a tomato. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't- I-" I chuckled and got up from my place on the couch. I sat down on the floor in front of her. 

"Jake, what are you doing?" Y/N whispered as I took her hand. "Do whatever you want," I told her, placing her hand on top of my head. I heard a small chuckle and felt her hand combing through my hair, massaging my scalp. "Your hair is so soft," Y/N mumbled. 

"Thanks," I chuckled, closing my eyes. This was so soothing; I leaned back, laying my head on her lap. I took my phone in my hand and put on some songs. A song, specifically. All Your Days by Shallou and Emmitt Fenn. 

Y/N started singing along. I smiled, I could never get tired listening to her, her voice was absolutely angelic. "Hey, Y/N?" She made a humming noise. "Wanna get coffee later?" I heard her laughing and looked at her. She was grinning at me. "Are you asking me out?" she teased. "Yeah, actually," I whispered, eagerly awaiting her response. 

She leaned over and wrapped her arms around my shoulders in a tight hug. "Of course." I smiled, hugging back. 

"So, like… have you liked me for a while now?" Y/N questioned a while later. I was sitting next to her now and she was snuggled into my side. "You agreed to be my assistant around 5 years ago, right? I've liked you for the past 3," I answered truthfully and she sat up. She looked at me, an eyebrow raised. "You've lived with your feelings for 3 years now?" she asked loudly. 

"The most difficult three years of my life," I joked. "What the hell, Gyllenhaal, you could've just told me," she laughed. 

"You've liked me, too?" My jaw dropped. She nodded and I pulled her back in my arms. "If only we were bold enough," I laughed. She opened Camera on her phone. "I'm taking a selfie, join me." She smiled at the camera. That smile turned into a grin when I kissed her cheek. I watched as she opened Instagram, put a long caption and posted the picture. 

Alright, paps, you win this one. It wasn't one-sided; turns out, he's interested in me, too. Guess who's going on a date this evening with @jakegyllenhaal? 

I laughed when I read the caption. "You're a pro at coming up with Instagram captions," I told her. "You learn from the best," she winked. "Aw, thanks!" I said, touched. "What, no, I was talking about Ryan Reynolds." Y/N burst out laughing as I shoved her, frowning. "I'm kidding, stupid," she laughed, falling back against my chest.

---

A/N: Please ignore typos/mistakes, it’s just a fun, light-hearted fic. Thanks for reading, do like if you enjoyed it! Follow me for more fics, the masterlist is in my description (this reads like a YouTube outro lmaooo)

[calypsoff2]

Eleven.

I posted a picture of Chris and I on the beach, it was more of a selfie, and I’m just laid on my front in the sand, I was just generally taking a selfie and Chris horny ass was in the back biting my butt cheek, I took the picture and posted it, it’s kind of funny well. It turned out to be the most liked picture in a day, it’s funny to me and my mother said I need to keep that to myself, no way in hell I’m going to do that, the picture was too good not too, but we are having fun. I am just happy to be child free “Herbert messaged me” Chris said as he came out of the bathroom “saying” turning to Chris “tie it for me” I asked “oh he said my parents are nasty, I goes now who the hell are your parents, he said you two” I shivered as Chris came up behind me to tie the straps on my bikini “yeah I noticed that he calls us parents. He’s stupid, I like this. You look nice” he complimented me “thank you poppa, did I tell you Mel called. I said don’t call, I am busy, I am away with Chris, and I just want to spend time with him, just having fun. She does oh it will be quick, so she called, and she just apologised. She is upset that I am upset with her, like how does that even work, I am upset with her because she never told me shit, I find that to be sly and it is. Now she’s stuck with a baby, he’s a deadbeat” turning to Chris “mhmm he is a deadbeat, Camron commented on my Instagram post, yes he has a page. He put I miss you, I blocked him” Chris is stubborn now “that is up to you but it ain’t his fault his dad is a snake” I know Rylee is going to be asking because he won’t be coming to the house “mark my words Robyn, TJ will propose to Mel” I frowned “you think?” Chris nodded his head “I promise you now he will, he’s going to do it to please her. He says that Mel is lonely, because you have your life in order and she doesn’t, I think he knows she is vulnerable, and he is playing on that. Don’t be shocked if we go home and they are already, only way to stay in the circle. I am being deadass” this is worrying “I don’t want it” I whined out “I know but that’s on Mel, you know that” this is a shit situation, I don’t want my friend hurt either.

I fancy Chris so much; he is so fine. I like it, he is so daddy “so where we going?” Chris asked “well” I dragged out; I mean he doesn’t know we are seeing captain “we are meeting captain” Chris groaned out “why?” He questioned “it bugs me Chris, I still want to know what he meant by vague, he never clarifies, and I want know. I am not going to drop it until he confirms, I can’t get pregnant again to go through a loss again. I can’t do it, you don’t understand Chris how hard it is for me, how draining it is for me to lose babies. Not like it’s early on either, you don’t get it. Yes I have three beautiful girls but losing babies is really getting to me, it’s not easy to just keep trying and it not happening. I refuse to try” I am not even letting it happen either “but he doesn’t know shit, he’s assuming” I shushed him “he knows ok, trust me. My people know shit, my island people do and they are always right. I can’t take it, give me this” Chris is not happy, but I know Chris, he will do it for me and go “it’s just I don’t know, you believe in the evil eye and shit. Just life, take it as it is” here he goes with his mouth “Chris” crossing my arms across my chest as I sat on the bed “tuh! Fine, ok whatever” see I knew he would pull through, he would listen to me of course “you married a Caribbean girl, now you go to deal with it. Acting all brand new with me, boy” Chris rolled his eyes and walked off, he knew damn well I would be seeing captain, I need be relieved of this burden. I feel like shit to be honest; I can always put on a facade but deep down I feel awful. Losing these babies and going back to work and then Chris just acting like it’s nothing, but nobody will understand and especially a man for that matter, he can shrug it off all he wants and act like it’s fine but it’s not for me, he doesn’t get it at all because he is a man.

He’s been a little annoyed that I am making him go to this thing, he didn’t want to go but he is for me. I’ve always kept in contact with him, he doesn’t work there anymore so he’s meeting us at his favourite food place, he’s a lovely man with a heart of gold “this ain’t the usual place” Chris said pointing at the car window, Chris remembers the whole journey there I see “you are right, he doesn’t work there anymore” Chris’ eyes bulged out, like I am crazy “how do you know this?” He asked, I think Chris feels I am crazy, but I am far from crazy. I just feel fed up for the most part, there is a lot going on “because he gave me his phone number and I call him every so often to ask if he is ok, nothing else. He doesn’t actually tell you anything over the phone, he only does it in person and I just want to ask ok” Chris is so moody for what though “why are you mad? It makes no sense” he’s being extra weird about it “because if you don’t hear something you like you’re going to be upset, it will ruin the whole vibe. That is all” taking in a deep breath, Chris isn’t wrong “I am prepared to hear that I can’t give you what you want, I know what you want Chris. But I feel not prepared, I feel I can’t give you it. He said vague and it’s because I can’t, if it is then so it!” I spat “there is always surrogate, that way we know the sex too” waving him off “just be quiet” he never has any sense, he just speaks without thinking “nigga” now he’s annoyed me, forget captain “mhmmm sorry if I offended you, I am just showing you ways, well telling you there is other ways” this husband of mine, nobody else in the world will upset me or annoy me more than he does. But here I am, I adore him, but I won’t let him ruin my mood.

Arriving at the Marguerites restaurant, I said I would meet Captain here. I did say I wouldn’t mind meeting him at his home, but he said no, and for us to come here “thank you” getting out of the car, Captain reminds me of Bravo so much, every time I see him I just get choked up. He is such a good man; I love him for always checking in on me too “Robyn!” I gasped, he is waiting for us outside the restaurant “awww Captain, look at you” I clapped my hands shrieking “you look beautiful, look at you” hugging him close “awww thank you so much, you are the best” Captain hugged me tight “it is so good to see you, so so good princess” I swear I am cheesing so hard right now, moving back from the hug smiling “I love your shirt, look at you” Captain chuckled “Christopher, hello” stepping to the side laughing at my grumpy husband “you not happy to be here, it’s ok I got you” Chris laughed shaking his hand “I am always happy” he is such a liar “come, I have got us a beautiful spot. We can watch the sunset and we can eat lovely food, come follow me” he walked ahead of us, the customers here in the building just stared all wide eyed, I mean I don’t blame them. As soon as they noticed their phones are out, it was quick as we made our way out to the back. Feeling Chris’ hand on my butt, he is close to me as always.

Taking a sip of my wine, I mean it’s wine time of course “how are you Captain, are you well?” Chris asked him “I am blessed Chris; I am here with you both. I am getting old, look at you both” he pointed between me and Chris laughing “are we getting old?” I added “no, you are both getting more beautiful, Robyn more then anything but I am blessed” he is so sweet, he reminds me of what my dad should be. Captain has taken that part from him; he is just the best “how come you not working now, I was shocked when we come here. Retired already?” Captain chuckled putting his head “I am not well, I just want to rest and spend time with my kids” I wish I could meet his kids “I will be honest with you because Robyn to me, she is like my daughter. The sweetest angel, I got cancer and by the grace of god I am still here” my heart skipped a beat “no” I said “it’s all love, you don’t need to worry. We are here” shaking my head feeling the emotions hit me “no, that is so unfair” my voice broke putting my head down, Chris placed his hand on my back “please don’t cry Robyn, it’s ok. I am still here” this is the worst news ever “why the good people” I said through my sobs, this has actually hurt me a lot.

I am a mess now, it had to be this and it’s so unfair. Every good person that I attach myself too I just lose, how unfair is this “you are making me cry” Captain pointed at his heart “you’re a good woman Robyn” he said, shaking my head “by the grace of god I am going to get you to the best hospital, the best. I don’t care, you will have to accept it. You are too good, this is unfair” Captain is so relaxed “no, this is not about me. I have not told you this for you to start paying for my life, to start feeling sorry for me. This is my journey and I see the good in you both, stop being upset. I have lived a good life, I can’t be mad” Captain is smiling so much, him smiling is making me smile “you are always so positive, I wish I was like you” I said “because I take life as it comes and I am sure you were the same Robyn, Barbados. Your happy place” smiling lightly “see, if you lived and breathed in Barbados everyday you would be like me. America is stress, who wants to be there. I am happy so don’t feel sad for me, be happy. Yes, that beautiful smile. How is your friend? Is she pregnant yet?” I groaned out “that is a yes, I saw family for her. Alone though” my eyes widened “we shouldn’t be shocked now” oh Captain is good “she is a good woman too, she deserves better. She is lonely without you; she is at a part of her life where she is behind you. You have moved full steam ahead; she misses her friend. You don’t spend time with her unless she is tagging along, spend time with her as a friend” I breathed out “she has felt lonely since you got married, never mentioned it because she is happy for you but she is wanting your time, stop being busy” I am always busy “how can I stop being busy when I am trying to conquer the world” I chuckled “and you are by being yourself, you need to have time for loved ones. I feel you have a lot of unanswered questions for me, and you sharing that” Captain pointed at Chris’ blunt “you want one?” Chris said in shock “you in Jamaica son, of course” I am still sad to hear about his cancer “we eat and we can discuss” Captain is staring at Chris so hard, it was a little odd “Chris, you are the young man here. And the real Captain, you order for us. I eat anything” I am still judging Captain looking at Chris, he is testing something, it looks like he is “sure, here” Chris passed him the blunt, what is he thinking about my husband.

[bizarre-alien]

Saturday Morning

I made a short Erasermic fic on Saturday, and I just wanted to post this here because why not! It takes place when they were in their 20s, and Shota is gonna do something bold after a night of clubbing with Hizashi which, apparently, didn't turn out so well!

Saturday mornings were hard sometimes. Waking up hungover while my brain tries to recollect memories of last night only makes me numb with this dull melancholic ache in my chest. I stretched out my limbs across my bed to find that I was all alone. “Shocker.” I thought to myself sarcastically. I slowly turned my body over to get my phone that was on my nightstand. To my surprise, it was hooked up and charged. “No, I was too drunk to do something this responsible.” I mumbled as I unplugged it. There were some unread messages from Yamada, and it brought this warm feeling inside that my heart seemed to crave.

“Last night was WILD! Please text me when you wake up. I need to know you lived! 😭”

“I did lay you on your side with a bucket, pukey! 🤣”

“OMG ARE YOU ALIVE?? I MISS MY BEST FRIEND!”

“I should’ve just crashed on your couch instead of taking the cab back to my place… Could’ve saved myself from stress and money… LMAOOO”

“SHOOOOOOTAAAAAAAA”

I couldn’t help but to laugh at his sweet attentiveness. He never failed to put a smile on my face even if he wasn’t around. I took a selfie and sent it to him. “I lived, bitch. 😤”

I felt my stomach shock from anticipation as I saw the ellipsis pop up. “YOU LOOK GOOD FOR A DEAD BITCH!!” The ellipsis came up again. “Also, you looked cuter than me in the shirt I let you wear. If you wanna keep it, you deserve it! I have your shirt, and it’s nice and clean! I think I’ll wear it today!”

I couldn’t help but to blush at his remark. “It’s mine now. I’ll take good care of it.” I looked down to see which shirt it was, and I gasped. It was an exclusive shirt from one of his favorite bands that he got at a live show. The exact one that he said he wanted to be buried in. “WAIT ARE YOU SURE BC I JUST SAW WHICH ONE IT WAS”

“It’s okay!! I’d rather see you wear it instead. 💖”

“... That’s very sweet…”

“How do I look? I’m going for that Shota Aizawa look. Don’t mind my lack of pants, please. 🥰🤣” His selfie nearly made me drown in affection. He looks so good in my shirt… And his legs...

“*Chef’s kiss* You rn…” Were we flirting, right now?? No. He has someone, right? “Wait… Are you flirting with me to make your so jealous? What did he do wrong, now? 🥴” The ellipsis came up, but went away… Then again… Then nothing. I began to worry. “Zashi, I’m playing. You know that, right?” The other end was radio silent, and I felt anxiety surge through me. Was it a sore topic and I didn’t know? Did I just ruin our friendship? I mean, how would that screw everything up? After all we’ve been through for the past 7 years, that couldn’t have been the final straw… right? I was pulled from my overthinking by my phone vibrating. It was Zashi calling, and I picked it up immediately. “Was that a bad thing to say? Because I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt-!”

“It’s okay, Sho!” He chuckled reassuringly to me, but I could hear the pain in his voice. “I forgot that you black out when you’re drunk… No, me and him are done. You broke his nose when I came to you crying about it. We had to leave the club because of all the drama, but no one knew who we were… Thank God, right?”

“Yeah…” I was silent for a moment as I tried to remember what happened.

“Sho! We’re leaving. Come on!” Hizashi roared as he made his way to me.

“Hold, hold, hold. What happened?” I stopped him in his tracks and grabbed his arms. “Zashi, are you okay? Where’s-?”

“Who cares? I hate him! Let’s go!”

“But you left me to blow him in the bathroom! What do you mean you hate him, now-?”

“I wish I didn’t, and I’m so sorry! He’s a monster in disguise, but I was too stupid to notice AGAIN!!” Zashi burst into tears as he held onto me tightly. We stumbled a bit, but I held him back with all I had. I feared that this was gonna happen.

“I knew there was a reason why I couldn’t stand him.”

“Baby, you got it all wrong! I love you, Hizashi! I wanna marry you!” I heard the voice of Zashi’s former lover, and the alcohol in me decided to take control of my body.

“You take another step, and you’ll regret it! Don’t think I won’t have you on the ground, you piece of garbage!”

“Sho, let’s just get out of here! I gotta go!” Hizashi pushed me towards the exit. “It’s not worth it!”

“Hizashi!” The moment he grabbed Hizashi’s arm, I went feral.

I dug my nails into his wrist to get him to let go of my best friend. “Piss off!” I roared as I got Hizashi behind me. Before I could register anything, I felt my right fist connect with his nose hard enough that it sent a shock up to my shoulder. “I knew you were trash the moment I laid eyes on you! You don’t deserve Zashi!” I wanted to go for more, but I felt a multitude of hands grasp at me and pull me towards the exit. I managed to spit on Zashi’s ex before we were escorted out of the club.

“Oh my God, Shota! That was intense!” Hizashi grabbed my shoulders and shook me. His makeup was smeared from his tears, but it made him look like an ethereal being. “You good?”

“Mmh.”

“I can’t believe you did that for me! You’re so sweet! Oh my gosh, like you- Oh, God!” He backed up as he looked at me again. “Alleyway. Alleyway!” He guided us to the alleyway and held my hair the moment I let everything out. “Oh, God. It’s on your shirt. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” When I spat out the remains, he gently took off my soiled shirt. “You are so lucky that I have on something sexy underneath this tee! I guess this may be a sign to dress sexy for myself instead of waiting for someone to see it in private, huh?” He pulled off his band tee and handed it to me with a smile. He had on a fishnet long sleeve bodysuit with nipple coverings, and he looked like the biggest rockstar in that moment… but, that was my best friend… My best friend is the biggest rockstar and he’s holding my gross shirt.

“You’re so freaking nice, Zashi!” I began to tear up as I put on the shirt. “I’m so sorry!”

“I should be sorry! I didn’t listen to you. I just listened to his dick!” We laughed like a couple of hyenas as we took our drunken selves to our favorite place to eat when we drank our weight in booze.

“Zashi." I sighed and shook my head. "I’m so sorry."

“Thanks. It hurts, you know? He wasn’t who I thought he was. I guess… I don’t know how to pick ‘em, huh?” He tried to laugh, but he went quiet.

Never in my life did I want to reach out to him through the phone and hug him as much as I do now, but all I could do was hug him with my words. “You have a big heart and a warm presence that deserves to be honored and cherished, and he just didn’t get it. If I had the chance, I’d punch him again. You deserve so much better, and you will get that.”

“When, Shota?” There was a pause.

“When the time and place is right.” I wanted to say right now and with me, but I chickened out. “That person will love you and nurture your heart, and that person will be the most lucky human in all existence and memory.”

“I wish it were-” He paused and sighed. “I wish it happened now.”

I felt my heart jump and my mind started to race. Did he want me? Should I risk it all? Were we both too afraid of screwing up our friendship? “Hizashi…”

“Hey, do you mind if we meet up somewhere? Your place, my place, a restaurant… Anywhere, honestly! I just need to see you. Sorry if that sounds clingy. I just-”

“Of course! I would love to meet up. You’re going through a tough situation, and I’m more than happy to be there for you.” I smiled. “You can come over to my place and we can decide if we wanna go out or not.”

“That sounds good. I’ll get coffee on the way, okay? I know you need it.” He chuckled.

“You’re the best.” I sighed in relief. “I think coffee would solve a lot of problems, right now.”

“Hey, Shota?”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to know how much I value our friendship. We had rocky moments, but there isn’t a day that I’m not grateful that we smoothed things out. I can freely be myself around you, and that’s really rare nowadays because all these fakes are roaming the streets.”

“It doesn’t help that you’re well known, huh?” I joked.

“Exactly! You keep me from losing my mind… You inspire me, you encourage me, and I know I can be vulnerable with you and you wouldn't judge me for it! I just really love- Ugh... No, I should stop. I’m getting sappy.” He burst into laughter.

“Funny enough, I needed to hear that.” I blushed and rubbed that back of my neck. “Hizashi, I actually wanna talk to you about something when you get here. It’s important to me, so that’s why I wanna wait.”

“Oh, for real? I’m not in trouble, am I?”

He was so cute. “No, not at all!” I snorted.

“Good! Give me a few minutes, okay? I’ll be there in a bit.”

“In Hizashi minutes, right? I'm guessing that it'll be an hour before you get here.”

“Shut up, man! I can’t help the fact that I’m a high maintenance scatterbrain!” He whined on the other line.

“Whatever. Just get here when you get here. You know where the spare key is, so I’m gonna take a shower and clean up the place a bit.”

“Sounds good!”

“Okay, cool. See you then.”

“See you!” He sang then hung up.

I looked at my phone with a whirlwind of emotions. The comfort of his voice still in my heart, but it wrestled with the anxiety that I felt in my chest as I knew what I set myself up for. The timing seems wrong, but I was so caught up that I could care less. What if he hates me for even confessing now? Yet again, it seemed that he was dying for me to confess… I just know that this is the last Saturday morning I wanted to spend hungover by myself. I wanted to wake up to messy blond hair in my mouth, limbs entangled, and the sweet smell of his natural scent mixed with the ghost of his perfume of choice from the night before.

The feeling was so strong that I clutched my pillow for dear life, and I couldn’t tell what kind of tears were falling from my eyes. All I could do is lay there and imagine what could possibly become a reality while also fear that I could make this imagery impossible if I said the wrong things. Funny enough, this hurricane of emotion is something that I’m just observing. Somewhere deep in my core, I felt a sense of relief and peace. And it was that very peace that gave me the strength to get up and get ready for a life changing discussion with my best friend.

Thank you! Bye!

[loudsuitlover]

Doctor Harry XXX. T la sudo

A/N: Everything will come for those patient enough to wait. (My abuela’s words, not mine.)

BLUE’S POV

Unbelievable. He’s still asleep. Is it possible that this is his longest night of sleep? Would he remember what he said last night? Was he hallucinating? He fell asleep right after. I remember when he told me I had recited Roy McBride’s lines on my sleep and I didn’t remember any of it the morning after. Will it be the same for him?

I have barely slept and as much as he has had trouble sleeping any other night, last night he peacefully slept through the entire night. Every time I’d wake up and look at him, there he was, peaceful, calm and vulnerable and in contrast I was tachycardic.

Harry’s phone screen illuminates with Hampstead name. I sigh. I’m about to pick up and tell them to fuck off and learn to solve their problems by themselves but I know that would be too much. But, come on, Hampstead, it’s Saturday morning and he’s asleep. Thank God it’s on silent mode.

He put it on silent mode! So if someone had called with an “emergency” last night, he wouldn’t have picked up because he was with me. Aw, I’m so proud of him! I want to kiss him until he wakes up and the suck him off to begin his day.

When the call ends, the missed call text pops up on his screen and only then I see the photo he’s got as his wallpaper. That’s me. My pulse accelerates. I don’t want to take his phone but that’s me. It’s a photo from his sister’s wedding and it’s taken from behind me when we were standing under the flower arch greeting the guests. He couldn’t have possibly taken it for he was right next to me but maybe the photographer did and he liked it. Hampstead texts him and the messages pop up on the screen.

Hampstead: Hey, I was just calling to remind you I still have the tickets for Kings of Leon tonight if you want to come!

I don’t want to read his messages. I know that’s terrible. But they’re right there… And they keep popping. I didn’t know Hampstead and him were friends. He’s never mentioned them.

Hampstead: Last week was fun!

Last week was fun? I hope he’s talking about the congress. But a congress, fun? I mean it can be interesting, it can even be thrilling… But fun?

Wait, what is going on with me? I’m not like this. What do I care what Harry talks about with his friends? Even though he’s never mentioned them… But what do I care he’s never mentioned them? Maybe they’re not that close and that’s why he has never said anything. But then, why would they invite him to a concert?

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m looking for Hampstead on Facebook. The only Hampstead I have friends in common with- those being Mario Matteoti and Harry Styles- is a girl, is a very beautiful girl. Sarah Hampstead. She’s blond and her hair is long like mine but straight. She wears it in a braid in most of the pictures and looks like Rapunzel. She’s a first year residence in Anaesthesiology at Grad hospital. The last picture she posted is a selfie with Harry. They’re smiling at the camera having a drink at some restaurant or hotel and she’s wearing her hair on a braid over her shoulder. It’s from last Tuesday when Harry was supposed to be at the congress.

My heart stops. I hate this. I hate that I’m doing this in the first place and I also hate that I’m feeling so threatened but I remember the fights I’ve had with Harry over her calls and how he walked away from me to take her call when we were at Marie’s house.

I don’t want to think this of him but… Why did he never tell me about her? And why does she think it’s okay to call him at those ungodly hours? And why does he always pick up? And why the fuck is she inviting him to a concert?

Last week was fun. Yeah, that drink they had looked like fun and they looked like they were having a good time on that stupid selfie. The congress. It’s impossible, I know it is, but what if the congress wasn’t a congress at all? I need to stop.

I get up from the bed and don’t know what to do. Do I shower without telling Harry? I mean I know he told me not to ask him if I could shower again… But it’s still his house. Well, fuck it, I need to get rid of the dirty feeling of having spied on him and then doubt him. But what if it’s true? Ugh, stop!

I can’t get their stupid selfie out of my head while I shower. Why the fuck did he never tell me about her if they’re colleagues? There’s a voice inside me that tells me he might have done it precisely to avoid this irrational reaction but fuck it. That’s not an excuse. I’m only reacting this way because he hid this from me. Why would he not tell me?

I guess I’ve acted jealous before, with Camille and that dinner of theirs… But I think when he explained it to me I took it nicely and I showed him I could be rational… Plus, does that give him the excuse to just hide things from me?

Last night he told me he loved me. I gotta focus on that. This Sarah Hampstead can text him all she wants, he loves me. He said it last night.

I forgot my clothes on my overnight bag so I make my way outside the bathroom wrapped in a towel and try not to make much noise but the moment I open the door I realize Harry’s not on the bed. I put on clean underwear and my clothes for the day and find him in the kitchen.

He’s wearing thick grey sweatpants and a white cotton long sleeve shirt and looks so cosy my frustration leaves my body through my pores. He grins when he tilts his neck and looks at me.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

He keeps making breakfast. What is he doing? Is there no good morning kiss?

“I’m feeling like fruit and yoghurt. What do you want?”

“Fruit and yoghurt sounds good.”

“Guay.” He smiles.

Alright, so this is what we’re doing. Then I’m starting the conversation.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Very much so.” He smiles but his green eyes signal for me to have a seat. “And you?”

I nod.

“Take a seat, love.” He chuckles.

I walk towards my usual stool on his breakfast bar and sit down in front of him. I add some sugar to the coffee he gently prepared for me but my eyes don’t leave him. He frowns as he munches on his apple.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Okay, he doesn’t remember what he said last night. That or he’s messing with me. Or worse, he regrets it.

“Do you remember how you fell asleep?”

“With my eyes closed.”

“So you don’t.”

“You also asked me to help you put the cover over us” he says “and I did.”

“Right.”

I took a spoonful of yoghurt with pieces of kiwi and apple and fill my mouth. Either he doesn’t remember or he regrets saying it and now it’s playing dumb. Maybe the sex was so good he got confused or maybe I dreamt it. I guess it’s okay if I fell first… Even though maybe he doesn’t fall at all.

“What do you wanna do today?” He asks.

I look up at him and search for the lie on his green eyes. Did he not check his phone or does he not want to go to the Kings of Leon concert?

“What’s going on with you today? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I might have plans.”

“What do you mean you might? Do you or do you not?”

“I mean I might spend the day with my mum.”

“Oh, okay.”

We eat in silence. I might spend the day with my mum for real. I’m planning on going to my dad’s next week during the uni break to study for the finals so it’d be good to spend some quality time with my mum before I leave.

“I’m sure you can find something to do.”

He looks into my eyes.

“Alright, what is it?”

“What’s what?”

“Why are you mad?”

“I’m not mad.”

He sighs but his eyes don’t leave me.

“I just mean that you can… Go out with some friends or friend, if you want, and that’s fine.”

“I know it’s fine. Are you worried that I’m going to stay here crying if you leave or what? I can call Adam if that’d make you happy.”

“He’s got plans with Marie.”

“Right.” He has a sip of his coffee. “Well, it’s a good thing I don’t need a babysitter.”

“You could do something with another friend.”

“Yes, I could.”

“Guay.” I shrug.

He narrows his eyes at me.

“All I meant is I understand that people want you around, that they appreciate your presence, you know? It’s nice.”

“Why?”

I look up into his eyes again. His hands are intertwined before him as if he was waiting for my answer.

“Because you’re fun and a good person and a good friend. I think it makes sense that people from your environment want you around.”

“Is that what you think?”

I nod.

“Why?”

“I’ve told you. To me, being with you is… easy and nice.”

“Why?”

Again? He sounds like a three-years-old. I don’t know what he wants me to tell him.

“I guess because of the way you treat me. You’re gentle and caring and kind…”

He lets go of his own hands and covers his mouth with one of them but his eyes give him away. He’s trying to hide a smile. I don’t think I’m saying anything funny. He shuts his eyes and when he opens them, he takes his hand off his face and looks at me with affection and amusement.

“Am I your second boyfriend?” He asks.

My blood freezes on my veins. Please, God, don’t let him ask me about Dylan.

“No.”

He raises his eyebrows questioningly.

“What does it matter?”

“I’m just trying to understand something.”

“Third.”

He nods.

“What happened with the second?”

Thank, God. At least he knows Dylan is not a light conversation. I look down. I have never really told him about Javier and I don’t think I want to.

“He wasn’t a good guy.”

I see concern flashing on his eyes.

“What does that mean?”

What a silly guy.

“Did he hurt you?”

I look away from him and his hand rests over mine. He understood I don’t want to talk about him.

“I’m sorry, Blue. How old were you?”

“20.”

He nods.

“What about sex?”

“What about it?”

He rolls his eyes but smiles.

“Have you slept with many people before me?”

“Less than you, that’s for sure.”

His jaw clenches slightly but he doesn’t take his hand away from mine. Come on, Blue, remember you did not want to be harsh to him.

“Three.”

Harry’s eyebrows raise and his neck moves forward. He’s so silly, he’s making me embarrassed.

“Just us three?”

“Yes, is there a problem?”

“No, baby, three is fine.” His thumb caresses the back of my hand. “So I was the first guy you had casual sex with?”

“Yes.”

He hums.

“Are you done with your interrogation?”

“Yes.” He nods. “And, baby, whatever the second guy did to you, he’s crazy because you have to be insane to let you go.”

“It’s not easy to be with me.”

“Oh, I know.”

“No, you don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

I stop myself from shivering. Can I tell him? Can I fully ruin the morning by telling him I was in love when Dylan died and that’s not going to change? Because then he will feel like I’m only with him because Dylan is not here and that’s mostly true and then he’d leave me because he must know he deserves better.

“I…. I….” I love you, but Dylan will always have a place in my heart. “I can be very harsh.”

He smirks but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I know that.” He tilts his neck. “But when you’re not, you’re funny and smart and unique. You’re lovely here” he taps my forehead with his index finger “here” he taps my heart “and your whole body is fucking lovely too, baby. Just own it.”

“Do you really think that?”

“I don’t think that, I know so and it’s a little sad that it takes a random guy like me to tell you for you to see that.”

“You’re not a random guy.”

He smiles.

“Well, have fun with your mum today then. Next week-” He starts but I cut him short.

“I’m going to my dad’s next week.”

His expression changes and he uses the napkin to clean his mouth but he did it mindlessly for his mouth was already cleaned. That has me thinking.

“But what happens next week?”

“No, nothing.” He smirks.

I give him a look letting him know I am not buying it and he clears his throat.

“It’s just… I knew you were on holidays and I had some days off that I haven’t taken because of my addiction to work” he jokes “so I thought in order to show you that we are making progress and also to spend some time together, I could take some days off next week and… We could do something. But it’s okay, you’re going to visit your dad and I should have probably told you sooner.”

My heart swoons. He used his days off for me. He might not remember what he said last night or he might even want to take it back but this is what someone who really does love spending time with me would do. The next thing I say, I say it in a frenzy, in a love rage, even before I can process it.

“Come with me.”

His green eyes set on me as he considers my invitation. I feel embarrassment flooding my cheeks and my neck.

“To Capitol?”

“Yes, have you ever been?”

“I have not.”

I could have guess it.

“So you’ve travelled all around and you’ve never been to one of the most beautiful cities in the country?”

He smirks.

“Well, I should decide whether that’s true, don’t you think?”

“So you’re coming?”

He weights his options looking at me but suddenly his expression falls into one of disbelief.

“Don’t invite me out of pity, Blue.”

I frown and my eyes narrow. Is that really what he thinks of me?

“I didn’t invite you out of pity. I invited you because I want to spend those days with you. I’m so happy you finally decided to get holidays like the rest of people and the fact that you wanna spend them with me only makes my heart flutter so are you coming?”

My confession makes him smile again and I smile foolishly back at him. The way his dimple forms on his left cheek even before his teeth are shown sweetens my mood and my blood.

“Are you sure?”

I nod.

“What are you gonna tell your dad?”

“The truth. I don’t lie.”

He hums as he tilts his neck and raises an eyebrow, calling my statement into question and I shake my head weirdly amused.

“I got a train ticket for Wednesday morning, do I get another one? Or do I cancel mine and you drive us? It’s a little less than 4 hours away.”

He’s going to say yes, I can tell, I can see it on his face; how is eyes have a sparkle about them and his smile reaches them. He’s loving this. His expressions always give him away. He’s an opened book.

“I don’t mind. We can drive.”

We both grin.

We decide to spend the morning together before I go have lunch with my mum. I might invite him to that as well. Mum might get jealous if she knows Harry’s gonna be spending a few days at dad’s and she only got a dinner. Harry’s on his closest, picking his clothes for the day I guess when I call my dad.

“Hey, dad.”

“Hey, Berry. What’s up?”

“Hi, I was just calling to ask you… Would you mind if I bring someone along on Wednesday?”

“Not at all, honey. Is Jason coming back?”

“No, it’s not Jason.”

“Ollie then? Marie?”

“No, it’s a… It’s a guy.”

“Oh!” I shake my head at how thrilled my dad sounds and the way Harry looks at my with a side smirk. “A guy! That’s great, Berry. Is he a special guy?”

“Yes, dad, he is. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Your boyfriend.” He repeats.

“Yeah, okay, so you’re gonna pretend you didn’t figure that out after the wedding photos I sent you. You don’t go to a wedding with just anyone, dad.”

As Harry makes his way to the bathroom, he walks past me and slaps my ass cheek loud enough so that my dad can hear it and I jump.

“What was that, honey?”

“Uh… It was just… Uh… My notes. That fell. On the floor. Because I’m tidying up.”

Harry looks at me and silently chuckles and I shake my head and swat his arm playfully whilst he walks to the bathroom.

“Oh, okay, darling. Well, thanks for calling and don’t worry about anything, I’ll make sure everything’s ready. Why don’t you text me what food he likes so I keep that in mind when doing the groceries?”

“Well, he’s not picky, dad. I think he’d eat anything.”

“Good then I’ll cook my special rice. I can’t wait to see you!”

“Me neither.” I chuckle. “Bye, dad, love you.”

“Bye, Berry, love you too.”

While Harry’s in the shower, I pick up my clothes from last night and kept them on my overnight bag and make his bed. I try not to think about how crazy we both are. Last night he told me he loved me and this morning I found out that Hampstead is a girl and he acted like he didn’t say anything last night and interrogated me and then I invited him along to my dad’s. In Capitol. Where I met Dylan.

I think I’m going to faint.

I go on The Golden Girls group chat searching for counselling.

Indie: Are you guys awake????

Jason: Yes, everything okay?

Ollie: Awake and ready to listen.

I guess Marie’s busy. Well, these two would do.

Indie: Hampstead is a girl.

Jason: Who the fuck is Hampstead?

Ollie: She’s an anaesthesiologist who works with Mario and Harry.

Indie: Has Mario ever mentioned her to you?

Ollie: I don’t know. I guess he might have.

Jason: What happened with her???

Indie: I know this is bad guys

Indie: But this morning when I woke up she had texted Harry

Indie: And I didn’t purposefully read his texts but they just pop on his lock screen and I couldn’t help it

Indie: I mean I read them unintentionally

Jason: Just stop excusing yourself and tell us what happened

Indie: She invited him to a concert tonight

Indie: And she said “last week was fun!”

Ollie: Wasn’t Harry on that congress thing?

Jason: Shit

Ollie: Stop it. Don’t listen to JJ, he’s a jealous freak.

Ollie’s typing… And I try not to freak out at Jason’s assumption. She is right. Jason is the jealous type. That’s why I need Ollie’s point of view.

Ollie: I mean they work together. Probably they just went to the congress together too. It’s normal.

Jason: Yeah but why the fuck would she text him that it was fun on a Saturday morning? Like days after? She clearly was trying to initiate a conversation.

Ollie: Who cares about her intentions?

Indie: The thing is Harry’s never mentioned her to me

Indie: And he always picks up her calls even when she calls at like 11 pm on a Friday or worse like on AM on Saturday morning like what the fuck?

Indie: And we have even fought over her calls and he’s picked up.

Ollie’s typing… Jason’s typing…

Jason: I just searched her on Facebook. You’re prettier.

I smile at his attempt.

Ollie: Talk to him.

It’s Ollie’s words that have me thinking. Talk to him. So she thinks there’s something to talk about. And Ollie’s laidback and she is not one bit jealous but she also found it weird. Shit.

Harry’s phone rings and my eyes inevitably search the screen. It’s from the hospital.

“Baby!” Harry yells from the bathroom. “Can you see who’s calling?”

“It’s from the hospital.” I let him know.

“Fuck” the shower stops “can you pick up and tell them to hold on a sec?”

“Sure.”

I pick up the call and bring his phone to my ear.

“Hi, Harry will be with you in a second. He asked me to tell you to please hold on.”

“Uh…” A female voice answers. “Excuse me, who are you?”

“I’m…” I cover the microphone with my hand and talk to Harry “she asked me who I am.”

“Well, tell her.” He laughs. “Who is she?”

“I’m his girlfriend. He asks who are you?”

“His girlfriend?” She sounds surprised. “Oh, I… I didn’t know he…”

“He’s here.” I cut her short.

Harry is smiling when he brings the phone to his ear.

“Hi, sorry, I was in the shower.” He listens. “Oh, hi, Hampstead. What’s up?” He listens.

So Hampstead. What a surprise! And she didn’t know he had a girlfriend, of course.

“Uh… I think that was Danny. I didn’t work yesterday so I am not sure. You should probably ask him. I think he’s on call so send a message to his pager.” He nods as if Hampstead could see him. “Yeah, no problem. Bye, Hampstead. Have a nice day.”

I scroll senseless shit on Twitter so I don’t snap at him. I need to calm down. I need to control this fucking oppressive feeling on my chest but my mind is racing.

Why did he not tell me about her? I think they must be friends or at least friendly if she thinks it’s okay to call him when he’s off duty, especially when freaking professor Gibbins is on call and is the one signing that patients’ paperwork. And he even gives explanations on why he doesn’t pick up on the first tone when he’s off duty. I was in the shower… What do you care?

And why did he not tell her about me? I mean, even Jason could tell her intentions with a single text. I’m guessing it’s a lot more obvious on a day to day basis… And Harry didn’t catch up with that? Why did he never just casually mention he had a girlfriend? He doesn’t even have to tell her about me, just about the roll. Just to have her know that there’s someone sleeping in his bed already.

We haven’t talked much on our stroll along the park behind his apartment. It’s a nice park, with lots of green and trees and wide white stones path for people to stroll like us, or go for a run or walk the dogs. We’ve past some families too. Dads and Mums playing with their children on the grass and I’ve seen Harry staring at them with a hard expression.

I don’t know what’s going on through his mind but he seems to be as pensive as I am. Maybe he’s thinking about Hampstead too.

“Uh, I did tell doctor Hampstead I’m your girlfriend” I say out of the blue “just so you know.”

He tilts his neck to look at me with a confused expression.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” I frown too. “I mean I did tell you she asked me who I was and you said to tell her.”

“Yeah, no, I know what I said.”

I hum and look away.

“Wait, is that what you’ve been thinking about?”

I look at him.

“Is it not what you’ve been thinking about?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Hampstead called in the morning, she had a doubt about a patient I couldn’t answer and then I hang up. That’s all the thought I’ve given it.” He chuckles.

“She could have called Professor Gibbins… Specially if he was on call… And still she called you.”

Harry frowns as if he wasn’t following me. I sigh.

“She sounded surprised when I let her know I was your girlfriend.”

“Are you serious?” His tone sounds surprised at the realization.

Calm down, Indie. Don’t talk to him in a way you’ll regret, don’t talk in a way you’ll regret. I count to tent in my head. 1, 2, 3, 4…

“Are you jealous?”

I take a deep breath. 1, 2, 3, 4…

“Blue, talk to me.”

“I’m counting to ten.”

“Are you really that mad?”

“I’m not mad.” I stop him right there. “I just feel stupid.”

“Why?”

“Because”

I’m about to tell him last night he said he loved me and… For a second I thought it was true because I love him too but then… This fucking whole Hampstead thing, I just… I am embarrassed that I am more invested in this than he is and I don’t want him to know that.

“Listen, you just never mentioned her despite all the times you’ve talked to me about work and she calls you at very weird times to be work related and… I mean she’s… Pretty.”

“How do you know that?”

He’s not denying it. Sometimes his sincerity is too much. I guess it would have raged me if he had denied it but knowing he thinks she’s pretty doesn’t help my jealous fit.

“That’s what matters? Of everything I said.”

“It kind of does.” He tilts his neck.

“I saw her.” I lie. “On Facebook.” I decide not to.

“When?”

“This morning.” Later on, I will analyse this and realize I’m getting defensive but for now all I feel is my shoulders tensing up and my honour being harmed. “And I saw a picture of you two together having a drink on Tuesday night when you were supposed to be on that congress.”

“Supposed to be?” His eyebrows raised on his forehead. “Excuse me but can I not have a drink with whoever the fuck I want?”

“Yes, of course, that’s not what I’m saying!”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying you’ve kept this from me for no reason. I mean why didn’t you tell me?”

“So you think just because I didn’t tell you that means I- what? Cheated on you?”

I don’t answer him and his lips part.

“I can’t believe you.” He sighs. “The only reason I didn’t tell her about you is the same reason why I don’t tell anyone at work about you and it’s because you don’t want me to.”

My mouth shuts and my lips purse on a thin line.

“She’s a colleague, just like any other person working with me and I haven’t told you about her because well, there’s not much to tell. She’s just a first year Anaesthesia resident and she’s a bit lost likewise I was when I was a first-year resident and likewise you will be when you are on your first year of residency. So I remember what it was like to be scared, not to know what to do and… She reminded me of you and…  That’s why I help her.”  

My brain is working a mile per hour and it’s hard for me to catch any thought with how fast they just pass and go.

“So what you’re saying is I have no reason to be jealous.”

“Of course, you don’t.”

“Okay, then why didn’t you tell me that she invited you to a Kings of Leon’s concert tonight?”

Every sign of frustration is removed from his expression and instead he looks at me stern but expressionless or at least I don’t know how to read this.

“You read my texts?”

I shut my eyes.

“I didn’t purposefully read them, they just pop in your screen and don’t give me that because we both know you’ve stuck your nose on my texts before.”

“I have never gone through your phone.”

“Oh, no, I know, I wouldn’t be here if you had.”

“But you get to do it?”

“I didn’t! I didn’t even pick it up! It was just there! And it popped, I couldn’t.. I mean I had just woken up, I truly read them without thinking, I would never purposefully go through your phone.”

“Okay, okay” His hands move in the air to stop my rambling. I think he believes me. “And the fact that I don’t even have my messages hidden, doesn’t make you think that I have nothing to hide? I mean I could have them and, by the way, that would be perfectly legit and wouldn’t even mean anything but you’re saying it- they were right there. It’s not a secret.”

“Then why are you not going?” I challenge him. “Kings of Leon are awesome.”

“Would you like it if I went?” He challenges me back.

“This is not about what I want, what I want doesn’t matter here. This is about you. If she’s just a friend and I have no reason to be jealous, then why won’t you go?”

He takes a deep breath and rest his hand on his hip. Now it’s him who’s counting to ten.

“She is just someone I work with to me but-” He raises his eyebrows before he unlashes the beast “I am not an idiot and… I don’t want to give her the wrong impression.”

“Was it that hard to acknowledge that?” I ask him.

“Was it that hard for you not to assume the worst of me without even talking to me? You always do this, Blue. I mean I already knew you thought I was a junkie but now also a cheater?”

Wow, that was low. So he’s going to through that at my face. I already apologized and he knows how terrible I feel about that and now he’s using that against me? I feel a lump on my throat and try to swallow it so I can speak.

“I… You know how much I regret that.”

“Yeah, well, maybe other than regretting it you should stop doing it. Why can’t you just trust me?”

I frown and look down at his feet.

“Last night” I start “you… and I…”

“I knew you would do this.” He cuts me halfway. “I knew that you were going to pick a fight because you got scared last night but… I’m tired of you using me as your punching-ball, Blue. You unleash all your frustrations on me and I thought I could take it, you know, but… I don’t want to… I’m tired of waiting for you.”

“Waiting for what?”

His words hurt me. Deeply. But I try my best to hold my tears at bay. I don’t want him to see me crying, especially because I don’t want him to stay if he doesn’t want to but he just confirmed every fear I’ve had lately. I am toxic. I am bad for him. I am hurting him and he doesn’t want me.

“For you to open up and let me in and trust me but you don’t and… It hurts, Blue… Uh… I think it’s best if we take a little break…”

“No, Harry! I- I’m sorry.”

I wipe my tears as I keep trying not to cry but this is happening. He’s finally doing what he has to do and yet I don’t want him to. I knew this would happen but I thought… I was trying very hard to let him in.

“Please, don’t cry.” He sighs. “This is how you fix everything. You hurt me and then you cry and I forgive you and when I scare you, you do it again but I… Maybe I’m asking too much of you, I’m not saying this is all your fault. I just thought I didn’t need you to feel the same way I did, I thought I could just… Maybe you’re not ready and… I think you have to work on some things before you are.”

“Harry, please… I… I…” My eyes search his and I can tell then that he is indeed waiting, like he said he was and it’s out of respect that I don’t say it.

“What? You what?”

I know what he wants to hear. He’s been wanting to hear it since this morning. He remembers what he said last night, he was just looking for my reciprocation, but I won’t do this to him. I won’t tell him I love him because I’m afraid of losing him.

“I think you’re right.”

I see the air leaving his chest and I feel a punch on my throat when I see the pain in his eyes. If this is what he wants, then why does he not look happy? Oh, right, it’s because I am that toxic to him. I am no good for him but he doesn’t want to let me go because I have become that toxic person that gives him just enough for him to stick around but not what he deserves.

He wants all from me. He told me last night, but I can’t give it to him. I just can’t. Jason’s words swirl around inside my mind and laugh at me. D’you think any other person would have stick around long enough…? He doesn’t deserve this and I love him, I do. But that’s why I’m letting him go.

I don’t even remember how the goodbye was or when he left or if I was the one who did but after crying my eyes out like a dramatic widow sitting on one of the benches of the park, I manage to get my phone out to ask for the girls.

Coco: Dad told me Harry is going with you to Capitol this week so I’m going too :)

How can something happen so suddenly? He was happy to be going to my dad’s this morning and two hours later he just breaks up with me?

The Golden Girls group chat has also been active.

Marie: Let us know when you talk to him!

Ollie: How did it go?

Jason: Bet they’re fucking.

Marie: Jason!

Indie: Can we meet?

Jason’s calling me.

“Fuck, Indie, where are you? I’ll pick you up.”

“We broke up.” I cry.

“Fuck. Send me your location.”

I do and I wait. This reminds me of that time I picked him up in the middle of nowhere after David Dick abandoned him like a dog. Only this time, I’m the bad guy.

I am terrible person and I don’t know what else to do. Maybe I am destined to be alone and maybe that’s not a bad thing. After all, the whole problem was falling in love because then I will be leaving Dylan behind and I know people don’t understand but people haven’t lost the love of their lives. It’s not a fucking easy thing.

But still, Harry doesn’t deserve that I unleash all my frustrations on him like he said I do because he’s right, I do that. I do that all the time and I treat him like shit because I don’t want him to treat me as someone I’m not. I don’t want him to think I’m this lovely person who deserves to be loved because I’m not. I’m the girl who let her boyfriend died.

That’s yet another thing people don’t understand. But Dylan was begging for help. That’s why he kept smoking and that’s why he had thrown his entire life away. It was his way of letting us know he wasn’t okay and instead of supporting him or loving him I just… I kept fighting him and telling him he needed to stop and… I wasn’t what he needed me to be. I failed him. And then he died. And I will never live past that.

The emergency lights of Jason’s car attract my attention and I get on the car and rest my head on the back of the passenger seat. He drives to the girls’ apartment and we make our way inside in silence.

The girls are sitting on the couch with a worried expression on their faces.

“It’s not what you think.” I start. “It had nothing to do with her.”

“Then what the fuck happened?” Ollie frowns.

So I tell them. I tell them about my confrontation and I tell them what he said and I tell them I agree and Jason says then you didn’t break up and I just look into his eyes because we both know that’s not true.

“But what did you tell him?” Marie asks. “I mean when he said all those things about you not being ready and all that? What did you say?”

I shake my head.

“Nothing.”

“Why?”

“Because I think he’s right.”

“He’s not.” Olivia frowns.

I can tell she is angry. No, she’s furious. I’m not used to this reaction from her. Usually, she’s the one who keeps calm and manages to calm us down. Marie is the one who gets mad, she’s the protective one. So to see Ollie like this is new to me.

“He’s fucking not.” She almost yells. “I mean are you kidding me? He knows what happened to you! He knows and he still didn’t tell you he had had an accident himself! And he chose not to tell you that sometimes he smokes weed when he knew that’s why Dylan died.”

Jason’s mouth opens but he doesn’t have time to say anything for Olivia’s palm rests in the air before him as a sign of stop.

“I don’t think it takes a detective to imagine that Indie might have some issues with weed.” She says through clenched teeth. “And you still listened to him and you forgave him and he fucking decided to still break up with you and now you get jealous, once, and he throws all that at you? I seriously can’t believe him! He’s turning you into this monster and you’re believing it and you’re not!”

I frown concern and surprised when she starts crying. Marie’s hand rests on her shoulder as we all remain silent and she just wipes her tears away.

“No, this is not about me.” She sniffs. “It’s just… I’m tired of seeing you like this, Indie. I’m tired of having you thinking everything is your responsibility and I think you’ve had enough! Fuck! And I’m mad because… You… You lost your fucking boyfriend and you would think he would understand some shit is fucking hard for you and instead here I have my friend crying in my house because this fucking selfish idiot made her feel as if she was some cruel person… You’re not.”

Olivia rests her back against the cushions of the couch and takes a deep breath. She sobs a little more and I find myself pouting as I stare at her.

“When Jack left me for Dulce, you were there for me. When my parents got a divorce, you were there for me. When my brother had the accident, you were there for me.” Her voice croaks again. “And every time Marie’s been sad, you’ve just left everything to come be with her and when David dumped Jason in the fucking highway, who did he call?”

Now I’m crying too and so is Marie.

“So no, I won’t have the best person I know thinking she’s a monster.”

I hug her and we both cry and only when we’ve calmed down, I call my Mum and tell her I’m having lunch with the girls. I promise her tea and biscuits. Selfishly needing some Mum-daughter time too.

After lunch, Ollie falls asleep on the couch halfway through the movie and when it ends, I catch Jason staring at her with a tender smile on his lips.

“She’s fierce, that one.” He whispers.

“Thank God she didn’t have Harry at hands’ reach.” Marie adds.

I giggle softly.

“I know, I wasn’t expecting that.”

Jason’s eyes set on mine and I know he’s trying to read my mind. I let him.

“I think they’re both right.” Jason whispers.

I frown.

“She doesn’t know what we talked about just yesterday.” He reasons. “Maybe if she knew, she wouldn’t have been so hard on him.”

“What did you talk about yesterday?”

“I… I told Jason I felt terrible for the way I treated Harry sometimes. I know it’s just self-destructive shit. I hate doing it but I do and I’ve ended up hurting him. I mean he was right about that pattern he figured out. I do get scare and then push him away and then I regret it so he forgives me and we start all over again.”

“Do you really think you’re bad for him?” Marie whispers.

I look ahead. I think yes. We’ve fought a lot of times. Love is not supposed to be so hard. I think that’s the idea that’s been passed through generations because of Wuthering Heights or Pride and Prejudice but I don’t think that’s what love is. Love should be like loving a brother or a mother. It shouldn’t hurt, it shouldn’t bring more pain than happiness.

“Adam says he thinks you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to Harry.” She tells me. “He says he hasn’t seen Harry this happy since before the accident and that he can see the old Harry coming back. When he said that, I thought the same thing was true for you. I can see you, really, fully happy sometimes. So, as much as I was against you two at the beginning, I cannot agree with you on this.”

“We had a fight at your beach house. There I accused him of being an addict and he said he was an addict, but not to weed.” I nod my head. “Now, if this was some sort of toxic love movie, I would be thrilled that he said that but I’m not. I don’t want him to be addicted to me because addictions are not healthy.”

“I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean it like that.” Jason says.

“He did.” I assure him. “We fight too much.”

“You’re a girl who lost her boyfriend and who thinks she doesn’t deserve to fall in love again and he’s a guy who thinks he ruins his sister’s life and put her on a wheelchair so he also thinks he doesn’t deserve love. Why do you think you fight?”

“See? We’re not good for one another.”

“I beg to differ.”

“So if you don’t want that, what do you want?” Marie asks.

“I just want him to be happy.” I shrug. “He’s genuinely good and I don’t want to hurt him.”

Both Jason and Marie smile but I frown.

“He turns you into such a softie. You really like him.” Marie smiles.

“Of course, I do.”

She smiles.

“He told me he loved me last night.” I confess and both my friends grin and get closer to me. “This morning I thought he didn’t even remember but he just thought that it was going to scare me so he didn’t mention it. He did give me a lot of opportunities to tell him myself so I guess he was just finding out if I felt the same.”

“Well, do you?” Marie asks.

“What does it matter now? He doesn’t want me.”

“There’s no way he loves you on Friday night and doesn’t want you on Saturday morning. That’s not how love works.”

I shrug.

“It’s not the same, you can love someone and still don’t want them.”

“You’re head over heels in love with him like a bitch.” Jason states as if he had just realized that.

I sigh.

I don’t deny it.

Yes, I am.

I am head over heels in love with Harry.

[hoe-imaginess]

I require Tamaki headcanons about how he is in a relationship pre and post... I must know how this shy boy secures the bag!

yes!!! I turned this into more of a… like… scenario type of thing… long read… but my hungry boy deserves it

Tamaki Amajiki 

•Ok first off he has such a massive crush on you that it’s not even funny. Any time you walk into a room he has a mini heart attack 

•He’s probably had a crush on you for years but never pursued his feelings because he wouldn’t even know how to

•He’s such a dumb baby. If you sit near him in class (actually—EVEN IF YOU’RE IN THE VERY ASS BACK OF THE ROOM) he always looks straight ahead, never moves, like a literal statue. Because he knows if gets even a glimpse of you his face is going to burn until it melts off. He won’t even turn around to talk to Mirio or Nejire. His eyes are glued to the chalkboard all day

•He gets a little jealous of Mirio because obviously, Mirio is outgoing as hell, and probably chats with you often. Tamaki gets so anxious about it; watching Mirio make you laugh is like a knife in his gut because UGH he wishes he could work up the courage to even talk to you and Mirio is making it look easy

•OH yeah Mirio is a horrible wingman (not on purpose, we still love you Mirio). He thinks that by interacting with you, it’ll somehow encourage Tamaki to join in. But it does the exact opposite: how is Tamaki supposed to slide in and spark up a conversation when Mirio is so charismatically overpowering?? Like, how is he supposed to compete with that? 

•Oh shit Nejire is even worse she absolutely annihilates Tamaki on the daily

•Tamaki will be minding his damn business and then you walk into class and Nejire slaps him on the back of the head, points at you, and shouts, “LOOK WHO’S HERE TAMAKI!” And he dies a little on the inside 

•Despite this, you may actually struggle trying to decide if he likes you. Like, yeah, he blushes whenever you come around—but is he blushing because of you? Or because he has the social skills of wet cardboard and dreads interaction with literally the entire population? And it’s not like he’s going to tell you; whenever you two do get the chance to talk he’s either deathly silent, or makes up some excuse to run away

•One time you two were partnered up in class and before you could say ¼ of a word to him he stood up, asked to use the bathroom, and then never came back

•At one point Mirio and Nejire completely exhaust their patience. They corner you after class and not so inconspicuously invite you to hang out. Tamaki shortly afterwards gets a text from Mirio telling him the same thing (not mentioning that you’re going to be there ofc), and when he shows up and sees you his soul physically leaves his body, but Mirio and Nejire disallow him to run off

•He’s on edge the whole time. Anytime you even look his way he starts sweating bullets. But hanging out with you mitigates some of his anxiety, probably because he gets to spend personal time with you outside of school (especially when Mirio and Nejire suddenly disappear and leave the two of you alone) so it’s not exactly easy to slip away or go mute like he usually does; he actually finds that conversation with you gets easier 

•He’s still a bit awkward, but it’s a great improvement from the years he spent crushing on you from afar and having literally no outlet for his feelings. Now he at least gets to talk to you and omg he loves it… but then he hates it, because OMG he gets to TALK to you and HEARING you talk about LITERALLY ANYTHING makes him fall for you so much more and kajshdkajsh he played himself

•But okay! There’s been some progress! You exchange numbers because come on, you’re friends now, right? But he’s a total dweeb when he texts you. You send him one “Good morning! How are you?” text and see him typing for an hour straight because he has no goddamn idea how to reply. He ends up just replying “Yes.”

•Things get easier and Amajiki learns how to actually breathe in your presence without having an anxiety attack. You two get along well and of course, he’s so damn cute, how do you not start crushing on him too? It’s fairly obvious to everyone that you two have a little thang going on, but Amajiki is way too nervous to make a move, even though Mirio and Nejire have assured him countless times that you clearly like him back, so what’s the hold up?

•You probably have to make the first move, sorry boo. The next time you two hang out (ALONE, might I add, because Amajiki is at least comfortable enough now that Nejire and Mirio no longer have to be chaperones) you catch him off guard with a kiss. On the cheek? The lips? Doesn’t matter—either way this kills the man. He blushes so hard you swear he’s about to have an aneurism

•While he stutters through his surprise you get to confess your feelings. You probably know how he feels about you already, so if Amajiki doesn’t manage to reciprocate due to shock, that’s okay

•Mirio and Nejire hound him the next day for details but he’s too flustered to share (and honestly, he’s still trying to decide if it was all a dream)

•He eventually gets around to his confession, even if it’s a little unorganized and chaotic. You already knew that he liked you, so he didn’t really need to confess (but he felt bad about not not reciprocating when you did so he stood in front of the mirror all night and practiced his own confession) but he still gets an A for effort

•Nejire and Mirio lose their goddamn minds when you two walk down the hallway holding hands for the first time. They’re your biggest fans

•Post-relationship Amajiki is still a giant nervous dork baby. You could be five months into dating and when you smile at him, all that goes through his mind is “Omg are you smiling at me? At me? Is there someone behind me? IS IT ME? ARE YOU SMILING AT ME?”

•He’s so bad at planning dates, especially fancy dates when he wants to take you to a nice restaurant; clearly he’s thoughtful enough to even think of that, but it’s the technical stuff he can’t do. Mirio has to call the restaurant and make the reservation for him skskdjskjd poor Amajiki

•And when it’s time to buy a gift for you, Nejire has to take him shopping. Amajiki knows what you like (he’s actually really good at picking presents) but he’s convinced that it isn’t going to be enough, or that you’re going to hate it, that you’re going to break up with him because he’s such a bad gift-giver, etc. Nejire is there for emotional support… but mostly to force him to make a decision, otherwise he’s at the mall all day second-guessing himself

•It’s so funny because yeah he’s an anxious wreck, but he’s still Suneater and a member of the Big Three and one of the strongest heroes in the country who takes on perilous, life-threatening missions—but at the end of the day he’s curled up under his sheets, staring at his phone trying to decide if he should reply to your Snapchat with a regular selfie or if he should use a filter, or if he should reply at all because it’s kind of late and he’d hate to keep you awake ya know? But also what if you WANT him to respond and he doesn’t and THEN he hurts your feelings and then you break up with him over a Snapchat and—

•Oh god he saves all your voicemails so he can listen to them when he’s busy with hero work and needs a pick-me-up ksksjsksksk I love him

[btsfan15]

New Roommate (Part 2)

It’s been a few weeks ever since Jin moved into my dorm room, and I would say it was going pretty well. I enjoyed being alone, having peace and quiet to myself, but it did get lonely sometimes here and there. I’ve always thought of having another roommate, but I wasn’t expecting it to be my bias and bias wrecker. I thought I had hit the roommate jackpot. Not only was he kind, he did his fair share of the housework, and he could cook. And cook well. His good looks didn’t hurt either.

Except they did. And as the weeks went on and turned into months, I found myself growing increasingly frustrated. It doesn’t help that it was the first time either of us had a roommate of the opposite sex. It led to situations where I’d walk out of the bathroom in only a towel, hair dripping wet, and he’d be in the living room watching a show, trying to keep his jaw from dropping to the ground.

Or when he’d come back from a morning jog and be so sweaty that he’d strip his shirt off the moment he stepped in the apartment without thinking, just wanting to get the drenched fabric away from his body. And I’d be left in the kitchen trying not to have my breakfast dribbling down my chin. It was an automatic reaction, but both of us found your habits gradually changing as time went on.

Why couldn’t I have had an average looking roommate, or even a slightly above average one? I’ve started locking the door every time I change after an incident where Jin came in to ask me about groceries without knocking. Instead he found me with my shirt halfway off, my bra clad chest completely exposed.

Jin has started locking the bathroom when he’s taking a shower too, after I barged in on him once. To be fair though, I really had to go that time. The curtain was drawn anyways, so I didn’t see anything… Not that I wanted to see anything. Really, I swear. We’ve always slept away from each other. Me on the bed and Jin on the fold out couch. I know it would be weird if both of us were sleeping together cause that’s kinda like...you know.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed when Jin’s in my room. I don’t know why, but I’m controlling myself from saying something stupid. Also, I feel sort of...different in front of Jin. Like, whenever I see him or sit next to him, I get this weird feeling in me. When I’m alone, I feel fine. It just goes back and forth. And you know what’s really annoying and embarrassing? Not only do I feel different around Jin, but my brain gives me these pictures of me unbuttoning Jin’s shirt.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I control my brain?! Jin didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did I. It’s just this pesky thing called sexual tension. Curse my hormones. I don’t want to say I like Jin. I mean, I do, but not in a boyfriend type of way. I just like him. As a friend. I think he feels the same way, too. At least, I hope so. None of the other members know about this. I really don’t want them to know about this. But, they’re gonna find out one day. Can’t wait for that.

To be honest, I really wanted to have sometime to myself. I couldn’t keep up with all this. And if you think that’s not worse, the next thing I’m about to tell you is. The other members went on a trip and guess who’s stuck with Jin? Yep, that’s right. Me. I’m already going crazy with this sexual stuff in my brain and now Jin and I are alone in the house. Great. 

Thank god he went out of town. I can finally have some alone time, and I mean alone time. I settle in with a glass of wine and start my solo session of Netflix and chill. No really, I’m not kidding. I had my laptop and everything, the newest season of the Baby-Sitters Club came out. However, my session is interrupted when my phone vibrates halfway through my second episode.

[Jin]

I miss you, Navya.

The message is followed by a slightly blurry selfie of Jin, but it’s clear enough that I can see the ruddiness of his cheeks, hinting that he is probably not the most sober right now, and also the fact that his shirt. Is completely. Unbuttoned. Excuse me, what? From what else I can discern, it seems like he’s in a bathroom of some sort, probably the one at his friend Ken’s house, whom he’d been staying with. My cheeks flare up at the image on my phone.

Sure, I’ve seen him shirtless before, but that was an accident, and I was too shocked to actually get a good look at him. Now, I have an image of his bare chest and toned abs immortalized on my phone. Shit, am I drooling? I shake my head vigorously, trying to clear my mind of anything that shouldn’t be in there. And there is a lot that shouldn’t be there. I take a few deep breaths before replying to his message.

[Me]

Jin… Did you mean to send that?

I watch the pulsing three dots that show that he is typing, holding in a breath.

[Jin]

Wait, is this not Navya’s number?

[Me]

… Um, it is

So wait, he meant to send that?

[Me]

Why did you send that?

[Jin]

I said already~ I miss you~

I scream internally, my cheeks flushing with enough heat to set something on fire. In fact, I’m surprised that there aren’t little flames on my face already.

[Jin]

I tnihk I’m drukn

[Me]

You think?

[Jin]

Ya… I’m slepeyy toooo~ can you tuck me in?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. My hands shake as I type in my reply.

[Me]

You’re in the next city over. I can’t.

And thank god. If he was right in front of me don’t know if I’d be able to refuse him.

[Me]

Go to sleep Jin, you’re going to have a bad hangover in the morning.

[Jin]

If that’s what you want, I will~

I let out the breath I had been holding when I finish reading the last message, glad that it’s finally over, but are startled by one last message. Another photo, to be exact.

[Jin]

Good night~

In the picture, Jin is puckering up those plump lips of his, as if he is kissing my mouth. Maybe it’s the wine, but I can’t help but think where else I’d like him to—no. Shit. Shit. No. I can’t do this. I lock my phone and toss it beside me on the bed, lying back on the mattress. I should probably sleep now, that exchange tired me out. I momentarily get back up to put away my laptop then return to the bed, tucking myself under the covers.

However, as the night goes on and I toss and turn more, I keep on find the image of Jin with his shirt unbuttoned creeping into my mind once again, and a heat spiraling between my legs.

“Fuck it.” My hand starts smoothing down my body until it reaches the junction between my legs. Maybe an orgasm will tire me out enough to get me to sleep. And if Jin is what gets me off this time, well, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

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I’m a bit giddy when I wake up, perhaps because I had let out a little of the sexual frustration that had been building since moving in with Jin. However, that all comes to a halt when he walks in the door during my breakfast.

You see, when I made the choices I did last night, I didn’t really consider how it would affect how I would see Jin. I mean, I am already stupidly attracted to the guy, how much worse can it get?

A lot, apparently. Because imagining him in the way I did last night just makes me want him more. Fuck. I hate myself. I gotta distract myself.

“Jin! You’re back.” Wow, Navya. Smooth. Real smooth.

“Yeah, didn’t I tell you when I was coming back?” He asks. “You did, you did. I’m just tired.” All thanks to me. “Welcome back, Jin. How did your trip go? Did you have fun?” I flash him a smile and I hope it’s not too forward. “Oh, I had an amazing time! We all went out to party everyday and ate at different restaurants! You should’ve come, Navya! I think you would’ve have a blast with us!” Jin says. “T-that does sound really fun. M-maybe next time?” I say.

“Maybe.”

“Why don’t you get unpacked? You’re probably tired too.”

“Yeah, I’m still kinda nursing a hangover. I went out drinking last night,” he explains while rubbing his temples. “I’ll leave you to your breakfast. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.” He starts walking back to his room. I let my gaze linger after him, and as I scan my eyes over Jin’s broad shoulders, I realize that he hasn’t mentioned anything about last night’s text exchange.

Thank god, because I am not looking forward to that conversation. But I also wonder if he remembers at all? Oh well, he’s going to find out soon enough, since the messages are still on his phone. That’s going to be fun.

I sigh before taking another bite of my bagel. I’m almost finished with one half when Jin comes out of the bathroom, changed into new clothes. “Hey, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight?” He says as he slides into the chair across from me. My first instinct is to nod vigorously, because each time Jin has cooked dinner, it has been amazing, and I’d always gone to bed with my stomach full.

However, while I’m not going to take back my agreement to let him cook, because good food is good food, I can’t help but internally panic at his offer. I know it’s not a date, because we’ve done this countless times before, but recent events are making me anticipate tonight in a way I don’t think I should.

“S-sure, that sounds good. Do you need groceries? I can get them for you,” I offer, needing to get out of the apartment and put some space between me and Jin. “You don’t have to do that.” Jin says.

“It’s fine! I already have some errands to run, so it’s no problem.” It’s true, I was planning on making a grocery run anyway. “Why don’t you make a list of what you need, and I’ll buy it for you.” I think this is a pretty reasonable offer. Which is why I’m surprised when Jin shakes his head no.

“Why don’t I just come with you? It’ll be easier that way. Besides, wouldn’t you want help carrying all those groceries?”

“S-sure.” Well, there goes Operation Avoid Jin for as Long as Possible™.

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A few hours later, we were at the supermarket. “Um, you said we needed eggs, right?“ I ask as I scan the fridge shelves.

"Yep.”

“Uh, okay.” I stare up at the top shelf, where the last carton lies. Shit. It’s just out of my reach. Why do supermarkets even put things there? Don’t they want customers to actually be able to buy—

“Here.” While I was busy with my internal rant against supermarkets, Jin had taken it upon himself to use his height to his advantage and grab the carton for me. “If you wanted help, you could’ve just asked.” He says, a little smirk playing at the ends of his lips. “I-I was fine,” I stutter, and I hope he can’t see the way my cheeks heat up, because he was standing really close to me.

“Really? Then why were you staring at the top shelf for the past five minutes?” A little puff of air escapes from his mouth, hinting that he is trying to hold in a laugh.

“Oh my god, let me live.” I bat at his free arm, covering my mouth to stifle my own laugh. My chest swells with relief that Jin took it upon himself to break the tension.

“Don’t worry about it. It was cute.” And now the tension is back.

“Uh, let me put this in the cart—” I reach for the carton, when I’m interrupted by a shrill squeal.

“What an adorable couple,” says an lady on the far side of middle age as she waddles up to me and Jin, carrying a huge purse almost a quarter of her size. “You’re both so good looking! And isn’t he so sweet to help you out like that, I know my husband would never do something like that.”

“Oh, we’re not—”

“Thank you so much, ma'am. But we really need to get back to shopping. It’s date night you know, I’m making her dinner,” he says with a wink, and the lady swoons. I would be unamused at his antics, if he didn’t have a similar effect on me.

“A man who can cook! You’ve really found yourself a keeper.” The lady nudges me with her elbow, sending her own wink my way.

“Y-yeah. I sure have.” The smile on my face is abnormally tight and to anyone but this woman it would be obvious that it’s fake. Jin can sense my discomfort, and grabs my arm to lead you away from the lady.

“Come on, Navya, we still need to buy the vegetables.” He starts pushing the cart with one hand while he continues to lead me with the other one.

“Oh yes, I won’t keep you any longer. You guys seem busy.” She gives us both one last giddy wave before stalking down the next aisle.

“Thank god.” I let out the breath I had been holding in, letting go of Jin’s hand. “Come on, let’s finish shopping before she sees us again.”

“I don’t know, she was pretty nice,” Jin says with a teasing smile, the curve of his lips causing my heart to pound in a way that can’t be healthy.

“What has gotten into you lately? Why did you lie to her?” My voice lowers to a harsh whisper, just in case the lady is still lurking around.

“Well, I don’t know if you’re aware since I’m the one who usually buys the groceries,” he sounds a little bitter at that, I’m not going to lie. “But that’s the owner of the store.”

“… Oh.”

“And she also slipped me some coupons,” he smiles, mostly to himself, as he pulls out the little slips of paper from his pocket.

“When did you even get those?”

“Does it matter? Come on, lettuce is buy one, get half off!” He starts pushing the cart at a pace that makes me think that their should be shopping cart speed limits.

“Wait, Jin!” I groan before jogging after him, but I can’t help but smile as I catch up to him. Wouldn’t it be nice if it could always be like this, instead of always walking on eggshells around each other?

The rest of the shopping trip goes off without a hitch, with the store owner nowhere in sight. However, just when I think I’m out in the clear, with me and Jin walking back to his car, he grabs my hand. The action startles me so much that I almost drop the groceries I’m holding.

“Don’t turn around,” he whispers to me. “But she’s looking.” I want to groan, but I stay silent and let him intertwine his fingers through mine. He doesn’t let go until I’m loading the groceries into the trunk, even though he knows that the store owner had already gone back inside by now.

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“You sure you don’t need me to do anything?” I ask Jin as he works at the stove, an apron tied around his waist. I know it’s a bit pointless to ask at this point, he seems completely focused on his cooking, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. I feel a little bad to watch him do all this work by himself, but I know he can get caught in his own world when he cooks.

“I’m fine,” he says as he stirs something in one of the pots in front of me. “If you want, you can set the table,” he offers.

“Okay!” I immediately agree, having been looking for something to do to distract me. Because honestly, just sitting and watching Jin cook is stirring something within me. He just looks so… domestic. Would he do something like this for a girlfr—PLATES. I NEED PLATES.

I scramble over to the cupboard where we keep the plates. However, as I pull out the plates, I’m still distracted by my mental images of Jin that my grip slips on the plates, sending them hurtling to the ground. One, luckily, stays completely intact, but the other one lies shattered on the floor. “Shit!” I bend down and try to pick up the pieces of what had been the plate, but my frenzied mind doesn’t really register that touching the jagged pieces of ceramic with my bare hands, isn’t the best idea.

“Ow!”

“Navya?” Jin looks away from the food to see me crouched on the floor, holding one of my fingers to put pressure on where the skin has split open. “Oh my god!” Jin makes sure to shut off the stove before he walks over to me, making sure to avoid the shards of ceramic on the ground. “Are you alright?” He asks as he starts to lead me to the bathroom. He helps me up into the counter before looking under the sink and taking out the first aid kit.

“I’m fine, I think I just cut myself, ow.” I wince as he disinfects the wound. He seems completely focused as he bandages up my finger. “God, I’m such a fuck up,” I mutter to myself, but Jin picks up on my words and his head snaps up to look me straight in the eyes.

“What? Why do you say that?” I sigh.

“Well, you’re over there cooking a full dinner that is sure to taste amazing, while I can’t even hold a plate properly.” I laugh, trying to lighten my words.

“Nonsense. We all fuck up from time to time in fact,” Jin chuckles sheepishly as he ruffles the back of his hair. “This dinner was supposed to be an apology. Because apparently I sent a certain roommate of mine some drunken nudes.”

“Well, it’s not really a nude unless it’s below the waist,” I automatically repeat my friend Marjurie’s age old saying, immediately embarrassed by my words. Jin, doesn’t seem to mind though, laughing good-naturedly at my quip.

“I guess that’s true. I’ll keep that in mind next time I send you a picture.” Now it’s his turn to be flustered. “N-not that I was planning sending you any more.” Look at that, now we’re both flustered.

“Uh, so are we still going to have dinner? I’m sorry for interrupting your cooking, you seemed really focused.” Jin gives me a small smile.

“Don’t worry about it, I was done anyways. Come on, we don’t want the food to get cold.” He takes my hand to help you off the counter. I’m still so flustered that I don’t realize that he doesn’t let go until I get back to the kitchen.

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A week later, after the disaster dinner is almost completely forgotten, I receive a text from Jin while I’m out shopping.

[Jin]

Hey, so I got off work early and was wondering if you want to try this roommate dinner thing again, since last time went so well.

I start to think over his offer, when he sends another text.

[Jin]

Actually, you can’t say no because I’m already buying ingredients.

So that answers that.

[Me]

Well, since you were so kind to give me a choice, sure. I’ll see you later.

I slip my phone back into my pocket immediately because I know if I keep looking at the messages, I’ll start to freak out. But then I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I take it out as fast as I can, not able to keep myself away.

[Jin]

Okay, then :D Can’t wait!

I never thought a happy emoticon would make me want scream, but here I am. As I go through the rest of my shopping, my mind keeps returning to the upcoming dinner. Sure, we have had dinner before, but the most recent one has made me question what the both of us have between each other. I feel that it’s clear that there is some sort of attraction to each other, especially since my talk in the bathroom. But neither of us have taken the steps to voice out exactly how I feel. And I really don’t want to make assumptions on how he feels, but at the same time, I hope I haven’t been reading the signs all wrong.

My worried thoughts motivate me to shop quicker, and I finish an hour early. I bid the shop owners goodbye before shooting Jin a quick text that I’m going to be home early, not checking to see if he answered before heading home.

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“Hey, I’m back!” I call out as I walk into what seems to be an empty house. Hmmm, maybe Jin’s still buying groceries. I dismiss the thought as you walk to your bedroom, eager to change out of your work clothes. My ears perk up as I pass the bathroom door, picking up on the sound of a steady stream of water coming down, and I stop dead in my tracks outside the door.

So that’s where he is. My face turns red when I realize what he’s doing, and heats up even more when a sound besides water pouring down on the tile joins in. A moan, to be exact.

“Navya…”

Well then. That just fucks things up even more. My hand starts to wander towards the door knob, but I quickly snatch it back before I can do something I regret. I quickly to our dorm room, not caring if he can hear the door slam shut behind me. Besides, he’s probably a bit preoccupied.

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“So, how was work?” Jin asks as he pours me a glass of wine. Apparently, the store owner saw him again and gave him a discount, saying to share it with that lovely lady of his. While I couldn’t turn down free wine, I can’t help but feel a little frustrated with her. I wonder if the candles on the table were her doing too. I wouldn’t put it past her.

All these things contribute to me feeling like this dinner is different than all the others. Or maybe it’s the way Jin is looking at me—fuck, he’s looking at me.

“Uh, work was fine.” I say before taking a sip of the wine he poured me. "How about you? How was your day?”

“Same as you. Fine.” He shrugs before sipping some his own drink. I nod, taking in the few words he said.

“That’s good—”

“We need to talk.”

“—Okay then.” I wait for him to say something, he just ends up staring awkwardly at me, before darting his eyes to focus on his wine glass instead.

“I’m sorry,” he says with a sigh. “For all this. I feel as if I’ve been confusing—” Suddenly there’s a loading knocking at the front door. Both me and Jin get up from our seats to answer it, but Jin’s longer legs let him reach the door. The door is hardly halfway open when we’re both greeted by a loud voice yelling.

“Surprise!” At your door stands a tall man, as tall as, and admittedly almost as handsome as Jin himself. Well, almost, at least.

“…Oh, it’s you, Joong.” Oh, so this is Joong. Jin doesn’t sound the most excited to see his brother.

“That’s how you greet your brother? Come on, man.” Joong’s head turns as he suddenly spots me. “Oh, never mind, I can see you were busy.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, this is just my roommate.” Joong’s face completely changes when he hears who I am, but I don’t really notice because my heart is too busy falling into my stomach with the words just my roommate. But that can’t be it, right? After all I’ve been through, I would’ve thought—"Navya, introduce yourself.“ You snap out of your daze and hold out your hand for Joong to shake.

"Hi, I’m Navya, Jin’s… roommate.” I hope that neither of the men noticed how I hesitated on the last word.

“What are you doing here, Joong?” Jin sighs as he steps aside to let his friend in, and I follow suit.

“Well, when you came to visit me a few weeks ago, I realized I’ve never been to your new place.” Joong’s already slipping off his shoes, making himself right at home.

“Yeah, you always said you were busy. What does this have to do with anything?”

“Well, guess who got some time off this week!” Joong says with a bright grin on his face, one I reciprocate halfheartedly and doesn’t return at all. If Joong notices the less than pleased expression on Jin’s face, he doesn’t say anything. “So, have you guys eaten yet?” He rubs his hands together as he heads towards the kitchen, where me and Jin’s pseudo-romantic dinner is still set up. Me and Jin jog after him, only to find him already sat down in one of the chairs. Luckily, he is courteous enough to take one of the places that aren’t set yet, leaving Jin’s and my seat free.

“Uh, I’ll get another plate.” I start heading towards the cupboard, when Jin stops me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get the plate. He is my brother, after all.” I can only nod, a little flustered by the skin contact. I wordlessly take my seat, next to Joong and across from where Jin’s chair is. Jin quickly returns to the table balancing a plate, some utensils, and another wine glass. He sets everything in front of his brother, before taking his glass and filling it with wine. “Here, have something to drink.” I would have thought this to be a simple gesture of welcoming, but I catch a glint in Jin’s eye that suggests otherwise.

“Thanks, man.” Ken raises his and me and Jin take this as a cue to do the same. “Cheers!”

“Cheers!” Jin says with a smirk on his face, and I can’t help but wonder what he’s up to.

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“Nice call on the wine,” I say as I help load the plates into the dishwasher, Jin having already rinsed them in the sink.

“No problem, Joong has always been a sleepy drunk.” Jin glances over his shoulder to see where his brother is snoozing, head resting on the kitchen table.

“Still, I feel kinda bad. We should probably move him somewhere. The couch, maybe?” I dry off my hands before walking back to the kitchen table, inspecting Joong’s unconscious form.

“Well, since he’s my brother, technically, I don’t really want to leave him on the couch. He can take my bed.” My eyebrows raise at this, thinking about my  relatively cramped couch in the living room and Jin’s broad frame.

“You sure about that? The couch is tiny, I’ll sleep there.”

“N-no, it’s fine! I don’t want to kick you out of your room,” Jin’s response comes out a bit rushed. He hoists Joong up out of his chair. “I’m going to put this guy to bed. Good night, Navya.” With that he’s dragging his friend off to his room, leaving me no more room to protest.

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Later that night, I can’t sleep. Mostly because someone else can’t. I can hear the squeaks of the springs of the couch as Jin tosses and turns, unable to find a comfortable position. I sigh. He has been like that for the past hour. Taking pity on him, I roll out of bed and trudge out to the living room.

“Jin.” My voice startles my roommate to sit up, eyes flying open. “Jin, you have been tossing and turning for the past hour. Just take the damn bed,” I almost beg, wanting to be able to get some sleep myself. Jin shakes his head no.

“I told you, I don’t want to kick you out of your—”

“Fine then share with me.” I don’t really know how to describe the sound that comes out of Jin’s mouth. Maybe a strangled yodel? “Just come on. I’m tired.” I grab his arm and pull him away from the couch to my room. “Look, there’s plenty of room,” I say, gesturing to my spacious bed. I don’t wait for him to answer before climbing into bed. I look at him expectantly, and he takes a spot at the opposite end, almost falling off the edge. I roll your eyes but let him be. You settle back on the pillows. “Good night, Jin—”

“I never got to finish what I was saying earlier.” Oh. I assume he means before Joong arrived. However, I’m not sure if I’m ready to hear it.

“Can it wait? I’m kinda tired.” I punctuate my sentence with a yawn. Jin shakes his head.

“No, I want to do this while Joong is still asleep and can’t mess anything up.” Jin turns over slightly so he can face me. “What are we, Navya? Are we friends? Are we just two people who live with each other? Because honestly, I’m not sure anymore. And I’m not sure what exactly what I want us to be either.” I can see his hand twitch by his side, wanting to reach out for me, but holding himself back. “But I know I want more.”

“Jin…”

“I feel like I’ve been pretty obvious, but you deserve to hear it directly, Navya. I really like you.” I hear him let go of a breath he must been holding in for a long time, and I start to feel as if a weight has been lifted off my chest. I unconsciously move closer to him on the bed. “And being here with you in bed tonight, it’s so hard for me to control—” I cut him off by rolling over so that I’m straddling him. “—myself,” he almost squeaks out the last word.

“Mmmhmm, and what if I don’t want you to control yourself?” I say as I boldly roll my hips against his. “You know, you have really been working me up lately.” I lean down so that my arms are on either side of his head.

“… Oh, have I?” He smirks as he takes the opportunity to roll his hip back up into mine, letting me feel the steadily growing bulge in his sweatpants.

“You have no idea what those pictures did to me.” I nestle my head into the crook of his neck, starting to scatter kisses up the skin. God, I’ve been wanting to do this for ages. I start to nibble on his earlobe, coaxing him to groan, when he tugs at my hair.

“W-wait, but Joong—”

“You and I both know Joong is out for the rest of the night. Now kiss me.” I don’t wait for any more response from before crashing my lips onto his. Finally. Once my lips touch, Jin almost immediately relaxes. One of his hands tangles in my hair, while the other grasps my waist. I start to nibble on his bottom lip, coaxing him to groan, when he tugs at my hair.

“Wait, all my condoms are in my room. And Joong’s in there…” I roll my eyes before kissing him again.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m on the pill.” "Now, don’t you think we’re wearing too much clothes?” I ask while my hands start to play with the hem of his t-shirt. I slide my palms under his shirt, running up and down the toned muscle of his abdomen. Fuck, if it feels this good, he probably looks even better. I reluctantly separate my lips from him so I can pull his shirt over his head, and oh, are my suspicions correct. “Holy shit.” Jin takes advantage of my dazed state to flip me over so that I’m the one under him now.

“My turn.” He wastes no time in tugging my shirt off. He sucks in a breath when he finds out that I had not been wearing a bra underneath it. “Shit, were you really going to wear no bra with me in bed?”

“H-hey, it’s more comfortable.” He immediately swoops in to press his lips across the top of my chest, before traveling slightly lower to take one of my nipples between his lips. “Oh my god, Jin. That feels so good.” My fingers weave through his hair so I can hold him closer, while I press my hips up into his own. After a few moments, he switches which breast he’s working on, his hand coming up to massage the breast he left unattended. As he tugs on the bud lightly with his teeth, I can’t help but let out a moan. “Shit, Jin, I need more.”

I push him off me so I can reach for the waistband of his pants, pulling the sweats down easily along with his underwear. His hard length springs free from the fabric, and I have to keep yourself from drooling. I’ve always suspected that my roommate was well endowed, and seeing it in person very much confirms my suspicions.

“Holy shit, you’re huge,” I say as I start to pump his hard member in my hand. Jin tosses his head back at the contact, letting out an almost heavenly moan.

“Navya…” He almost pants as he bucks his hips into my hand.

“Do you like that, baby?” I smirk as my pace on him increases. Instead of answering, he just pushes my hand away, pushing me back to rest on the mattress.

“Why are these still on?” He asks as he easily slides off my pajama shorts, my panties soon following. His hand goes straight to my core, his palm massaging my clit. After a few moments, he slips in a finger. “You’re so wet, oh my god.” I can hear his breath hitch when he feels how aroused I am, how aroused he made me feel. He soon adds another finger, deeming me wet enough to be able to take it, and I grind my hips into his hand as he continues to pump into me.

“Jin…” My head lolls back against the pillows as I get lost in the feeling of his fingers inside me.

“Do you like that, baby?” He asks, repeating my own words from not too long ago.

“Shit, yes. Give me more, Jin.” I whine as he removes his fingers from me, momentarily popping them into his mouth to clean them off.

“Mmmm, I don’t know if I could ever make something this good.”

“Well, technically you did help make it.” I giggle as he rolls his eyes at my quip. I don’t stop laughing until I feel him position his tip at my entrance.

“Ready?” He asks, pressing a short kiss to my lips. I place a hand on the back of his neck to guide him to look me straight in the eyes.

“Fuck me, Jin.” He groans at my words, finally pushing himself in. A moan is muffled into my neck as he adjusts to feeling my tight wet walls envelope him. After a few moments, he starts a steady pace of thrusting into me, his hands coming up to hold my thighs.

“Navya, oh, you feel so good.” I wind my arms around his neck and pull his face closer in to me.

“God, I love feeling you inside me,” I moan as I start to roll my hips up to meet his. “Fuck, go faster, Jin,” I say with a buck of my hips.

“Shit, Navya.” He wraps my legs around his torso as he starts to quicken his pace inside. He crashed his lips onto mine while his hand makes its way in between my legs, starting to thumb at my clit. My breathing starts to pick up as I feel the coil in my stomach start to tighten.

“J-Jin, I’m close,” I gasp out as my nails press into the bare skin of his back.

“M-Me too,” he groans into my neck at feeling my walls start to tighten around him. He starts to massage my clit faster. “Let go, Navya, I want to feel you come around me.”

“Jin.” I toss my head back as I ride out my high. Jin manages a few more thrusts into my tight walls before succumbing to his own pleasure, releasing inside of me. His hips drive into me as he comes down from his own orgasm, his lips coming down to capture my own. After a few moments, he slows his pace, before stopping and pulling himself out. He rolls over beside me, letting out a big breath.

“Finally,” is all he can say.

“Finally,” I agree, before reaching over to my bedside table and grabbing some tissues to clean myself up. Once I finish, I snuggle up to Jin’s bare body. God, he’s just as warm as I thought he’d be. “So what does this mean?” I ask after a few quiet moments of just cuddling against him.

“Well, for one, it means we are kicking Joong out as soon as possible because I want to do that again.” I laugh at his response, leaning up to peck him on the lips.

“Sounds good.”

[alolanrain]

Thinking about soft domestic Fangshipping

Like Ash wearing one of Raihans shirt in the early morning and sitting on one of the kitchen counters. Fresh from the airport and still on Kanto time and quietly sipping on coffee as he watches the sunrise from a window. Bleary eyed and very tired still and he looks back to see Raihan shuffling into the kitchen. Only with pajama pants on and coming up to snuggle against Ash’s side. Humming a hello and sighing happily as Ash reaches up and rubs the back of his head. Both enjoying the last of the sunrise before Ash gets shooed off to bed for some more sleep while Raihan goes to work at his gym.

Or Raihan taking Ash to a sunflower festival in Turffeild, that is mainly ran by Milo’s family, because one of Ash’s favorite thing in the world are sunflowers and he just spends the time With a dopey smile like a love struck idiot as Ash gets all excited and dragging him along to all the cute stalls and doing his cute gasp and wiggle when he see’s that they have a sunflower maze. They’ll end the day by coming back home and Raihan making dinner while Ash cooes at all the sunflower themed stuff he bought and the fresh picked sunflower Bouquet with roses and other cute flowers Milo’s mom made just for them on the spot. Ash will spend the time hanging cute new curtains and or maybe pictures of them he printed out in some new cute flower themed frames.

Or Ash bringing take out for lunch to Raihan or a late dinner just to check up on him and make sure he’s doing okay at the least. Because he knows that paperwork can overwhelm anyone and Raihan is like a lot of his friends who forget to eat and sleep. So he always gets Raihans favorite from this one curry restaurant in Motostoke and Ash will heat it up in the back room for the other trainers before taking it to Raihan and quietly listen to him rant about all the paperwork he has to do.

Speaking of overworking, Ash trying his best to clean Raihans house while Raihan has to deal with the gym finals and even though Ash isn’t the best he’ll try and make something actually edible for Raihan to eat when he comes home and Raihan is so happy that he isn’t coming home to a pigsty of a house and he gets to get off his feet and eat with Ash and he doesn’t have to worry about dishes because Ash has got it covered. While he’s eating Ash goes around and checks up on all of Raihans tired team and gets them dinner as well and Raihan silently watches him with hearts in his eyes and he can’t really get over how loving Ash is and how far he’ll go for Raihan.

They go grocery shopping and they lightly bicker about what to get for the incoming two weeks and Raihan and Pikachu has to steer Ash away from the baking aisle after 10 minutes because Ash keeps piling in so much stuff to bake with and they need nutrients and not more sugar. At the end they’ll bicker about who’ll pay but it always ends with Ash paying because he and his team eats the most so it’s only right he pays and Raihan will grumble until Ash sighs dramatically with a smile and ask if they can go out for eat and let Raihan pay for their meals.

Sending each other small care packages every month or two even because their in different times zones and can’t always text and or call. Raihan at least always sends one or two shirts and an old hoodie he barely wears. Just something for Ash to wear or sleep in when he misses him. He’ll add in cute little nicknakes that he’ll see day to day that he thinks Ash might like or non perishable cookies his trainers like to make but always ends up making to many. Ash will send printed pictures of places he gets to see and maybe some polaroid selfie’s just for Raihan to look at without hurting his eyes from staring at his phone for so long. Also sending nicknacks and a plastic baggy filled with folded up notes about how his day went and all the fun facts he’s learned that day. 

My absolute favorite soft domestic Fangshipping moment is when there’s a steady storm outside and both Ash and Raihan can have a lazy day. They don’t really get out of bed unless to go to the bathroom and then that person has to go get snacks since their already up. Even their Pokémon come out of their Poké balls only to settle and snooze aroudn the house. Pikachu is always next to Ash though on his own personal pillow and little blanket Ash got for him up near the headboard. Ash and Raihan would mostly spoon but sometimes Ash will be laying on his back propped up with pillows against the headboard and Raihan is the one using Ash as a pillow. Listening to Ash singing Kanto songs, or any songs he picked, softly while rubbing his fingers through Raihans undercut and shoulders.

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Two

(Just an idea of the gifts I pictured)

Louis texts

Harry texts

Harry woke up on the tour bus feeling it move underneath him. He groaned burying his face in the pillows for a few minutes. The tour bus was the same as any other tour bus except the backroom was converted into a bedroom a few years back. The bunks were for his band and the bedroom was his. The original story when it got out was that it was for Harry's many women companions no matter how many times Harry denied it. Rolling over he grabbed his phone and saw he had a new message in the Anonymous app. He unlocked his phone and went to the app and saw it was from Louis.

Why volcano boarding?

Harry's lips twitched before he typed a reply.

Volcano ash stains are impossible to get out.

Harry watched the screen for a minute before locking the phone and rolling out of bed. He headed to the bathroom to shower and to get dressed for a day of traveling. When his phone went off he grabbed it and checked the message.

Why do it? Lost a bet didn't you?

No.

Maybe.

Okay so yes, but it looked like fun.

And paragliding?

Lost a bet.

Skydiving?

Lost a bet.

Bungee jump?

Got dared.

Double or triple?

...triple.

Brutal mates

Tell me about it. They didn't even do it with me!

Horrible mates, you've got. What about mountain climbing?

Unfortunately, that was my fault.

Figured why not...I now know why not.

Yeah? What's the biggest reason?

I'm scared of heights.

The harness digs into your balls.

Pretty sure I'm sterile now.

So what brought you to Anonymous?

An entire bottle of Wine.

I don't have many friends and haven't been able to properly date, and I'm currently traveling right now. I'll be back in England in six months and I don't know I guess I am a hopeless romantic who thought this was a good idea after a bottle of wine.

Yeah? Where are you traveling?

Different locations. Currently in Germany heading to Hamburg.

"Hey, Tommo your cereal is getting soggy." Louis jumped and looked away from his phone to look at Liam.

"What?"

"Your cereal. It'll get soggy."

"Oh. Right." Louis turned away and went back to texting Harold back but he made sure to shove a spoonful of coco pops into his mouth.

"Who are you talking to? New guy?" Louis hummed distractedly, "can I have some if your coco pops?" Louis hummed again as he slid his thumb over the keys before he realized what Liam just asked.

"What? No!" Louis looked to Liam, but it was too late as Liam was smirking and eating a spoonful of coco pops.

"Did hell freeze over or do we have a hidden box if coco pops?" Zayn asked walking into the kitchen

"Louis has a boy he's distracted by and I took advantage." Liam said feeding his fiance a spoonful of the cereal.

"Distracted enough to let you have coco pops? That's a good sign. Who is he?"

"No one. I'm hiding my coco pops again." Louis grabbed the box and held it to his chest then he looked at his phone again laughing at Harold's message.

"I have to head into work, but I'll see you, lads, later." Louis set his coco pops box down on the island and headed to the door slipping his Van's on grabbing his keys while replying to Harry.

Have to head into work. Keep me updated on that snack thief and I'll text when I can.

I'll send hourly updates.

***

Messaging Louis became one of his favorite things to do, he was often distracted by the sound of his phone going off. 8 out of 10 times it was Louis and the 2% it wasn't always made his excitement go down even if just for a moment. He hasn't told Louis he was Demisexual or a virgin yet, but not because he was scared he'd leave the conversation, but because it has never been brought up before. Truly.

He would send pictures of beautiful views to Louis and famous landmarks and Louis would return the favor with the picture of the Manchester sky. Either it is raining or sunny, Louis always had a sarcastic message to go with it. It was almost an unspoken agreement to not send selfies to one another. He doesn't know how it became a thing, but it was.

Louis would often send pictures of what he was doing like if he was doing the dishes or if he was at work then it was of the kids he watched at the daycare. The video game controller if he was playing with his housemates, or if they ordered pizza he'd send him a picture of a slice and ask if Harry wanted Louis to save him some. Harry would do the same and send him pictures of his own game he was playing with his mates on the tour bus, he'd send him a picture of his meals at restaurants. If he was playing the guitar he'd send him a picture of his Gibson.

For some reason it worked for them, it satisfied them in a way. Harry has been debating whether or not to give Louis his actual phone number so they didn't have to rely on the app, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it for some reason. He did however find himself buying Louis things from the local shops and gift shops. When his backroom got a bit too crowded in Japan, and because he was feeling bad about the time difference he went to the post office and got a box then paid for the fastest shipping to Manchester after buying a postal box for Louis Tomlinson. The security question was What is the color of Harold's Gibson guitar?

Louis arrived at the postal office still confused as to why Harry had asked him to get his mail for him. It took a few days for Harry to convince him, but eventually, he figured it couldn't hurt and he would just drop it off at the listed address anyway. He really liked Harry. He was funny and Louis had a distinct impression that he was extremely hot and he couldn't wait for them to share selfies. He couldn't wait to share phone numbers and calls and maybe even facetime.

"Name please?" The desk worker asked

"Louis Tomlinson. I'm picking up." Louis told the man who nodded and typed something into his computer

"There is a security question. What is the color of Harold's Gibson?" The man was just as confused as Louis had been at first until he heard the question

"It's a dark blue with a hummingbird." Louis told him

"He just said blue so here is the key."

"Thank you." Louis headed to the number on the key ring tag finding one of the larger boxes. He had half a mind to take back his agreement, but headed to the box and unlocked it. Sure enough, there sat a 20x20x20 box, but instead of Harry's name, it was actually addressed to Louis Tomlinson. He turned the box to read the label and his jaw dropped in shock when he realized Harry had sent it from Japan.

"That lying asshole." Louis said even though he was grinning and was kind of pleased in a way that Harry was so thoughtful. They hadn't talked about being exclusive to one another, but neither of them has talked to anyone else and they told the other one that. Louis had a feeling that Harry wasn't the type to just message five guys and Louis, after a week of talking to Harry stopped replying to the others. He headed to the desk with the box in his arms to return the key, but the man shook his head.

"It’s under a six-month rental. The key is for you to keep trying not to lose it." Louis nodded trying not to get too pleased that Harry was planning on sending him more things. He packed the box on his passenger seat then headed home eager to open his gift. When he got to the house he walked inside with the help of his ass and hips.

"Why do you have a box?" Liam asked curiously

"Because I do." Louis said as he set the box on the coffee table and opened his phone taking a picture of it and sending it to Harry. It was 9am in Manchester so in Japan, it was 5pm so Harry should be awake for another few hours. Some days he was busy though and hardly able to message which Louis understood if he was on a worldwide vacation. Louis wouldn't want to chat all that much either.

"Japan? From Harold?"

"Yeah, the little lying jerk." Louis locked his phone and tossed it to the couch before heading to the kitchen to grab a knife.

"Didn't he just arrive there though?"

"Yeah, about three days ago why?"

"You realize how much international shipping is? How much fast international shipping cost?" Louis paused and looked at Liam, "he must be well off."

"I bet it's daddy's credit card." Zayn said as he sat on the couch with Niall

"There's nothing wrong with having well off parents. Leave him alone. I actually like this one."

"Sorry Lou... you're right now open the box so we can see what he thought ya. Bet the insides are not as pricey as the shipping." Louis rolled his eyes at the gentle teasing before he cut the tape.

He opened the flaps and saw an envelope on top of the tissue paper that was hiding the contents of the box. Louis grabbed the envelope and opened it, pulling out a few pieces of paper that were folded together. Unfolding the letter he saw a messy, but somehow neat handwriting on the pages.

Louis,

I am so glad that my wine drunk mind led me through this really weird path of meeting you. You have brought a lot of joy in my life that I hadn’t completely realized I was missing. My friends and my family are all talking about how much I have changed since talking to you. You are hilarious, sarcastic, caring, and always seem to be one step ahead of me.

I'm sure the worker told you the box will be open for six months, I plan on sending a lot of things to you along my travels as long as we keep talking. I know we have exactly talked about exclusiveness and where this is heading despite both of us looking for settling down soon. I realize my situation makes it hard to meet and understand each other and I want you to understand more and more as I begin to trust you.

I hope you understand when I say I would like this to be between us. You see I am frequently in the public eye. Magazines, websites, articles, you name it. It's always been hard to meet people who are genuinely interested in me as a person either being friends or more. I don't have many close friends who I completely trust, I have a few and they're all very trustworthy, but a lot of people I have thought were my friends have used me in some way either for money or publicity.

I do not however believe you would do such a thing which is why I am telling you this. As much as I would like to completely trust you with everything, I can not and for that, I am truly sorry. I hope you understand because talking to you has been amazing and the highlight of this trip. Before I am home you will know the complete truth and hopefully, you will understand what being with me would entail in your normal lives.

Anyway, I bought you some things I have found around the local shops and gift shops. Some are cheesy crap that I thought was a good laugh while others were thought out and meaningful. I hope.

Yours,

Harold

Louis was only a tad confused, but after a second read through it made more sense. Louis folded the letter up and slipped it into the envelope ignoring the looks he was receiving before he pulled back the tissue paper. Everything was neatly and carefully wrapped in bubble wrapping even what Louis thought was a stuffed teddy which was ridiculous but cute in a way. He pulled the first item out and undone the bubble wrap revealing a Teddy bear as he thought with the German flag on the white shirt. Louis grinned as he fixed the shirt.

"Wow, a five-pound teddy. Impressive." Niall said

"Oh stop there's more in here he said there's a mix of cheesy cliche things and meaningful things. I find it cute."

And Louis meant that as he set the Teddy on the couch to grab the next Teddy. All the teddys were on top of the other items so he went through Poland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Japan, and Russia teddy bears. All the same bear and after Louis had lined them up he took a picture of them and sent them to Harold.

"I already don't like you two together." Zayn said

"Oh let Louis get spoiled. It's cute." Liam said hitting his fiance, "what else did he get you? T-shirts?" Louis glared at him as he debated which item to grab next.

There were a few boxes that had the German flag sticker on the bubble wrap so he grabbed those. He knew when they started talking Harry was almost leaving Germany so he was a little surprised Harry bought something from the country. What he unwrapped was boxes of German chocolate and German teas. Then there were boxes of natural wooden toys safe for children and Louis grinned knowing those were for the daycare that Louis had told Harry he bought toys for regularly. He honestly couldn't wait to open those boxes with the kids and test them out so he set those off to the side making a new pile.

He then moved on to Denmark flag items which were a simple black striped vase with a note that said ''Kähler Ceramics-For Your Future Flowers''. Following the vase was a Nisse souvenir, a little mermaid figurine, Danish chocolates of course, and Danish knitted sweaters just big enough for him to snuggle into which he had told Harry he liked to do often on cold winter days.

Moving onto Norway there were more sweaters which Louis was not complaining about one bit. They were all warm and big and he knew he'd wear them often. There were some Norwegian books printed in English that fit what he liked to read. Then there was of course the Norwegian chocolate.

After Norway was Russia and the first thing Louis pulled out was a Matryoshka doll, a few beautiful Russian lacquer boxes, a few birch bark crafts, and a lot of Russian sweets and chocolate. There was a large item that had the Russian flag sticker, but Louis could get to it yet so he moved on to Japan.

The Japanese souvenirs and gifts were a beautiful set of chopsticks that looked more for display than actual eating, a few Kendama toys, a few Koma toys, a Maneki Neko, a Japanese folding fan, a few different Daruma dolls, a Wagasa, and last some sweats and chocolate.

Finally able to get the last item out which was the main reason the box had to be so big. Multiple sticky notes were saying to grab it from the bottom and to be GENTLE. Louis was grinning as he bent over and grabbed the little edges that had arrows pointing to them in sticky notes.

"Need help?" Niall asked

"He says to be gentle not that it's breakable so hopefully not." Louis very carefully pulled out the gift. Niall moved the box away letting Louis set it on the coffee table.

He gently began unwrapping the smallest piece revealing a beautiful teapot and immediately he knew. He knew exactly what this was and he was going to kill him, he was going to murder Harold as he unwrapped the matching tray moving on to what he now knew to be a Samovar.

When it was revealed it was gorgeous and Louis didn't know if he wanted to cry or scream or faint. He immediately grabbed the Samovar and headed into the kitchen pouring water into the kettle and putting tea leaves into the teapot. He then plugged the Samovar into the outlet and turned it to its highest setting letting the water boil. Once that was down he poured the boiling water into the teapot and then the tea into a mug all in the manner of 12 minutes. Louis moaned shamelessly after the first sip of hot strong tea.

"So..it makes tea?" Niall asked

"It keeps water simmering so I never run out of hot water for my tea. I've been wanting one for years, but they cost hundreds of- oh that bastard."

"LOUIS HAS A RICH BOYFRIEND!" Liam shouted teasingly, making Louis glare at him as he grabbed his phone off the couch seeing Harry had messaged him back after he sent him the two photos.

Thought they were cute and hoped you'd like the cheesiness of it.

We need to talk about that last gift Harold.

No, we don't.

Yes, we do.

Nope.

Yes.

No. Absolutely not. Not talking about it...do you like it?

It's beautiful and lovely and I've already made some tea.

Good. So there's nothing to talk about then.

No more gifts!

😳😳😟😟😦😦🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😨😨😰😰😥😥😢😢😭😭😭

Did you just send emojis explaining your sadness over my text?!?

Yes. I'm sending more for December. Your birthday is Christmas Eve Louis, I can't ignore that!

Well, how am I supposed to send you gifts if you're traveling?

Easily. You don't. 😁😁

😐🤨

😇😇

🤨🤨

(The story gets better after this chapter I promise.)

[ironwoman18]

We found love in a hopeless place part 6

Chapter 6: Arts, Phones and Deals

The next day Spencer and Max met in a coffee shop, they bought coffee and Spencer also got something for breakfast.

Then they took a seat after add cream and sugar to their coffees.

"So how was your day yesterday?" Asked Max as she took a sip of coffee.

"Amazing, I went to the zoo with my godsons and their mom" he told her and took a bite of his muffin "she is my co-worker"

"That's so sweet, how old are they?"

"Nine and two"

"Aww that's adorable" she said smiling "I would like to meet them"

He smiled and nodded "I'm sure you will love them" he ate more "how was your day yesterday?"

"Amazing, those kids are outstanding" she said drinking some more coffee "I'm sure you will love the paintings we have today" she smiled.

"I can't wait" he smiled back.

"By the way, Spencer. Yesterday I told you I will help you understand the benefits of a smartphone and the email" he rolled his eyes half joking half annoyed.

"Penelope, the technician analyst of my unit gave up on me and she stopped to give me tablets for work. I prefer paper"

"And that's adorable but you are a young man who can open up to new things. My dad, who is close to 65, has an smartphone" she smiled sweetly "I will help you with any question and I teach art to first grader who are stubborn. I think I can manage you"

He sighed and looked at her. Her excited expression melt his stubbornness but he did not want to give up so easily so he threw a counter offer "ok let's make a deal..."

"Oh Vegas boy is in the house" she teased.

"I will accept your offer..." Her smile grew wider "...but only if today we take lunch together and... I pay" he looked at her.

She was thinking about it. They had not talked about it, but when they were together, each pay for their food.

So accepting it, could make it more like a date where the gentleman pay, which could make it more official that they were getting serious.

Max looked at him and nodded "ok I accept it" they shook hands, closing the deal "today I will get you the phone" she winked and he sighed but nodded his head "ok Vegas boy, let's go"

He stood up with her and both walked out the coffee shop and straight to the gallery.

When they were inside, Max explained the dinamic. There were twenty artists that day. From seven to thirteen and she will show him the painting, talked about the artist and explained the technique he or she used. He will have to guess the age of the artists.

He nodded and the activity began. He struggled with this though because the little kids were so talent he could not tell their age.

After a few hours of watching and enjoying the art, he got the chance to meet some of her students and congratulated them for their work.

They left to a restaurant close by the gallery. On their way Max bought a phone for him. One of those Chinese phones that are not expensive but good.

Then they walked in the restaurant and he asked for a table, they waiter led them to one far from the door and handed the menu.

The restaurant was Italian so they ordered spaghetti with bologna for her and alfredo for him. He also accepted a cup of wine just to have a toast.

"I will drink just a cup of wine. I'm not into alcohol" she looked at him.

"It's ok. I'm not into it a lot. Of course I got drunk in the university once or twice but most of the time I just have a cup or two" she smiled "I would like to get to know what is in your mind. You are sometimes easy to read and suddenly it's hard"

"If you know them... I think you wouldn't want me around you" he looked down.

"Spencer... I like you and your personality. I know your work must be difficult you have to deal with bad people but it won't push me away"

"I will tell you when I'm ready" he looked at her and she could see he was not going to argue about it so she changed the subject.

They focused on the phone. Max explained the basics of the smartphone. She bit her lip watching him struggling with the phone.

"it's easy Spence" he laughed "You are smart and I know you will figure most of the things" she smiles at him.

"I'm glad you put so much faith in me Max but still it's weird to have a phone like this"

"Yeah you are talking like a man from the early twentieth century"

He laughed more and was happy when their food arrived. They switched themes and know she asked him about his family.

He was a little scary but decided to be honest and told her about his mother's condition, how his father left them. She held his hand and rubbed it gently.

She never thought he would have such a sad past. They continued talking and she was wondering if was his profession and was in shock when he told her every title he had.

"Wait... Three Ph.Ds and three BAs,?" He nodded drinking the last bit of his wine "are you some kind of genius?"

"Well I don't like to label myself but you can say, I'm a genius" he blushed softly after that "I like to learn things so every chance I get to study, I will take it. Sadly with my work is hard"

"Yeah the FBI must took a lot of your time"

"Yes but right now I'm free so I can learn how to use this" he pointed at the phone "oh by the way, this will be just for us right now because I need to keep my old one for work"

"It's ok. You don't have to worry" he smiled and they finished their meal with a dessert then Spencer called the waiter to ask for the bill "I will go to the bathroom"

He nodded and looked at her leaving. He cannot believe he just opened an email and had a smartphone in his pocket. Just because of her. You must like her very much was his thoughts.

The bill arrived and he gave his card to pay. The waiter nodded and left. While he waited he checked the phone. It was way bigger than his work phone and prettier. According to Max it had two camera modes one for selfies and one like his little phone, he read that men took more selfies that women.

Max returned and smiled at him "studying your new toy Doctor?" She asked with a little smirk "and can you believe we haven't said our last names yet?"

"We never need them" he said looking at her "but if you want to know... Mine is Reid"

"Spencer Reid..." She smiled "mine is Brenner, Max Brenner" he smiled and nodded.

"Well actually it's Maxine" he smirked softly and she punched him lightly "ouch..." He fake to be hurt.

"That's for call me Maxine" she laughed gently. The waiter arrived and handed him the card and left "are we ready?" He nodded.

"Yes let's go" he stood up and so did she. She took her purse and he his messenger bag and they walked out the restaurant. He walked with her to her car talking.

When they reached her red Volkswagen she watched him smiling "thanks for coming here today" she puts a hand on his chest "it was very nice of you"

He looked at her and smiled "I had fun and I loved to be here today with you. And I think my first guess was right" she looked confused "you are a great teacher and today I could see it" she blushed deeply.

"T... thank you but I just" he put his finger on her lips.

"You just nothing... Those kids may have talent but a good teacher can guide them to be better" she blushed more at that.

No one outside of her family said that to her and especially a man she was really liked.

They stayed in silence for a minute then he leaned in and kisses her cheek gently "see you" he smiled at her and left her touching her cheek where he kissed.

She smiled the rest of the day. This man was just wonderful and if this was a dream, she did not want to wake up.

OOooOOooOO

I don't know what got into me this week but I wasn't in the mood to write. I opened the app to write and got frustrated because I didn't want to do it.

I hope you liked this chapter and we will read in the next one.