#adhd masking

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Masking Hyperactive ADHD

Future ADHD

[adhdxxsdiary]

Source: @adhd-alien

[infiniteorangethethird]

fav kind of interaction is when a neurotypical comes up to me with "omg we are SO similar we're practically same" and then prove their point by listing off traits I only possess as a part of my masking

[crows-and-cookies]

Do you ever mask your ADHD so hard for 28 years straight that it comes back around and you’re considered a great and organized student and then get an education degree and become a private tutor to help kids with ADHD and it costs $110 an hour and people start requesting you by name and haha and you just identify with your students so hard and finally one day you’re in a car with your best friend who is a therapist and you say that it sure is weird how everyone else in your family has ADHD and you’re the only one who doesn’t wow that’s crazy and she’s tactfully is like yes that sure is weird hm yes what a coincidence have you not considered or realized that you are also ADHD and you say look they’re building up the river bank they sure have done a lot of construction on the bridge lately and she goes please pay attention to the road it concerns me when you get distracted while driving and you say when am I distracted did you see those sandbags and then 12 months later you’re in your bed looking up masking symptoms because tumblr as convinced you it’s mostly just avoiding eye contact with people (which you do but also you were trying to explain to your partner about it) but it turns out it’s every trait that’s been praised in you for 28 years and you don’t even know if this body is your own anymore

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Here’s why I don’t take “inattentive vs hyperactive” seriously…

Clinicians: after using my neurotypical brain to briefly observe you in a completely sedentary office setting I noticed that you did not scream or lose your mind or run laps around my office even once, and since adhd burnout/paralysis/executive dysfunction don’t exist, you must have inattentive type. That’s the only explanation for your composure while in my office. You’re welcome :)

Actual adults with adhd: HELP I’m TOO TIRED to MOVE (unless I’m presented with any adequate stimulation) (unless I feel safe enough to fidget) (unless I get adequate rest and nutrients) (unless by some miracle I can take care of myself properly) (unless I hear a song I like) (unless it’s 2am when I get the zoomies) (unless it’s something I find fun then I’ll be bouncing off the walls) (unless it’s a project that interests me then I’ll work for twelve hours straight) (unless I have to sit for more than two minutes) (unless you ask about my childhood when I was constantly yelled at to calm down and sit still) (unless by some miracle I can achieve proper self care so I’m not constantly trying to pour from an empty cup)

[notexactlyrocketscience]

Mini “Should I consider whether I may actually have ADHD?” masterpost:

“The lost girls: ‘Chaotic and curious, women with ADHD all have missed red flags that haunt us’ ” by Noelle Faulkner for The Guardian

“The Lost Girls of ADHD: Getting diagnosed as an adult hasn’t been the relief I thought it would be” by Kara Eva Schlegl for Human Thoughts

“ADHD Is Different for Women” by Maria Yagoda for The Atlantic

“Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story” by Jessica McCabe for TEDx

“Should You Be Assessed for ADHD?” by Dr Stephen Humphries for Harley Therapy

Bonus: “The Results of My Brain Scan” by Laura Clery

There are a growing number of similar articles and resources that you can easily look up now, but the above list, starting with the first article (shared by a woman of colour friend with ADHD), is how I dove headfirst into a rabbit hole in January 2021 that's become a years-long journey.

I grew out of my selective mutism and into an incredibly organised student as a teenager, but my productivity and focus quickly went downhill halfway through twelfth grade before I took my IALs.

The first time I considered having ADHD was in August 2019, during my freshman year in university. After a friend (who grew up with far more prominent mental health struggles, including depression and anxiety that affected her grades) shut me down saying I was probably just “demotivated” instead, I quickly dispelled the thought. I didn’t want to be yet another neurotypical person trying to use mental health issues as an excuse for my laziness. I grew up with crippling, alienating social anxiety, and it had gotten worse with my move to the US for university—I wondered if I might have autism; I had always been so different from other kids. But I didn’t get a high probability on the free quizzes on the internet, and that had been the end of that.

I didn’t know at the time what masking was, and how ADHD and autism symptoms can overlap—how the two are often mistaken for one another. I didn’t know that ADHD can present differently in women and people of colour because of the environment we grow up in, and because of how we have been excluded from medical research from the moment of its discovery.

In Bangladesh, we’re expected to grow out of our neurodivergence, which is euphemised as personality quirks. There is a great stigma around having children with disabilities, and around mental healthcare in general, so parents often live in denial about their neurodivergent children. There is a very stereotypical view of how a child or adult with autism is supposed to appear, and about the occasional “hyper little boys” that will usually grow up to become quiet, calm, mature and shy. Girls are raised in an extremely regulated, structured environment with high expectations. We begin developing masking skills from the moment we develop a sense of gender.

If you are struggling to understand yourself, look up your symptoms. Do a deep dive. Ask your friends—multiple friends. Trust your instincts. Be patient and forgiving of yourself. There is so much more dimension to mental health and neurodivergence that may not be well-known within your community. There is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.

[mhamory777]

I have had to heavily mask who I am for 20 years! Idk who tf I am idk if my disorders are even real, I’m tired of not knowing!!! I just want someone to tell me what the fuck is wrong with me!! What disorders do I have!!!

[aliyahgracedrawing]

I painted these a month or two ago, but I wanted to share them with y'all.

They're monsters that are meant to represent different mental health struggles. Such as anxiety and masking (like, pretending to be one way to appeal to other people, or make them like you more. Very common for neurodivergent people)

I hope y'all like them

[cometmothman]

Is it weird that I knew how to mask well as a child but now I can't? I used to be amazing at containing my hyperactivity and paying attention but around 5th grade it went down hill. Is this normal??

[nightshadereaper66]

I wrote a poem today. It was supposed to be happier, but sometimes writing just goes sideways, I guess.

My soul is like a song And when I play along I feel the music weave through my being I feel the hope; it feels so freeing Joy, that’s what this feeling is called

But then I see others look on, appalled Oh god, I did something wrong I’m trying, I just want to belong I was just reveling in my delight But their words burn me as they ignite

So I’m sorry! I’m sorry!  I’ll hold my soul back. I’ll muffle the song until I crack.  If it’s so wrong then I’ll hold back. 

But now I’m falling apart And I can’t breathe.

[random-fandom-lesbian]

Recently I have discovered the teenage girl version of the old “put PVA glue on your hands and peel it off” thing and that is dipping your fingers in hot wax and crumbling it off after it solidifies

[gingashiena]

My old AAC tablet. I don’t have it anymore due to… problems in real life. I miss it A LOT. But I will get a new one soon with the same color and strand holder!

[daftprettyface]

i love you friends who let me rant and ramble i love you friends who laugh at my corny jokes i love you friends who listen to me passionately talk about my hyperfixations i love you friends who match my energy when i’m excited i love you friends that make me comfortable being myself without having to mask any part of me <33

[that-dumbass-rabbit]

It's so crazy being diagnosed with adhd cuz I just learned about masking and OMG some of these are so obvious. Like not all of them but like:

• Writing lists for everything

• Mirroring people (remember that post when I said "you like my personality? Thanks it's yours"? Yeah I didn't know about masking yet)

• Checking my belongings to make sure I'm not forgetting everything

• REALLY intensely trying to focus when someone is telling you something verbally

• Being irritable when I need to focus on something boring to me

[adhdcognizant]

everyday… 🙂🙃

[djrusso-romance]

Any other ADHDers out there in an endless, frustrating cycle of masking, then unmasking for certain people, only to be met with aggression/hostility/disapproval and then putting the mask back on?

It's exhausting.