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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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would i be the asshole for contacting my ex to ask them if they could stop talking about me online to a community that knows who i am? (🥐)

tw: kinda emotionally abusive relationship

bg info

me (24f) and my ex (28) were in a three month relationship three years ago following a whole year of friendship. they were my first partner and i came out as a lesbian to everyone during our relationship. when we were together, they were 24 and i was 20. i was very emotionally dependent on them when i was 20 due to mental health issues and so were they which is probably one of the reasons why our relationship was as explosive as it was. i looked up to them, my whole emotional world revolved around them, and our friendship/relationship was the only thing i had in my life at the time. they constantly asked me "hey is it even ethical that im dating you, im 4 years older, you tell me please, oh i feel like such a bad person", yet, they still continued dating me every time they would ask.

our fights were horrible and truly explosive as they broke their stuff in front of me out of anger, threw things at me and insulted me as stupid, amongst many other things. our fights usually ensued because i would ask them for reassurance and they would start panicking and screaming at me to shut up. to be fair, i would cry every time i was asking for reassurance which probably made them feel scared about losing me, so i consider myself 50% at fault for everything that happened in our relationship, i shouldve been able to talk to them in a secure manner that wouldnt trigger their abandonment issues. our fights were quite jarring and made me walk out on them several times out of fear. yet i always came back and apologized and took the whole accountability, even though i dont consider myself the only one at fault. walking out several times during fights was probably one of the worst things i could have done but at the same time i was simply scared. even when i walked out after our last fight, they begged me to come back, which i did, i apologized under tears, and yet, told them that i cant promise them to stay no matter what.. and left.

we met through tumblr and were in a medium distance relationship. after our relationship, i went to a clinic and had to learn a lot about myself, what i experienced and what i want from life. im in a very happy and healthy place now and since the end of 2021 im with my current partner whom i want to be the love of my life and whom ive started to build a life with.

context

i have my ex blocked on all social media because they used to do hour long deep dives into my blog, even as of recently (i have statcounter installed for my safety bc im paranoid about them sending me anonymous asks). at first i also used to visit their blog after our break up but stopped doing so after moving on with my life. one year after breaking up i temporarily unblocked them and explicitly asked them not to look at my social media (or at least to do it in a way in which i dont notice aka asked them not to watch my instagram stories).

while i dont visit their blog/social media because i dont want to know whats going on in their life, tumblr mutuals frequently dm me stuff like "hey i think you should know that your ex posted about you/shit talks about something that you posted". i havent asked my mutuals to tell me whenever this happens but i imagine they do so because within the tumblr space we exist, everyone kind of knows everyone (so my ex doesnt have to mention my name for people to know who theyre talking about). sometimes mutuals send screenshots of the posts so that i dont have to visit my ex's blog. last ive heard my ex joked about throwing jewelry at me and posted extensively about a tattoo that i got. my ex's behavior makes me uncomfortable and feel just as helpless as i did back then.

why i might be the asshole

im scared that they might be venting because i was more at fault in the relationship than them and that i am unconsciously deflecting. however, i talked about every detail of the relationship and this fear extensively with my therapist, friends, and partner who are of the opinion that i was young, scared, and intertwined in a relationship that was incredibly toxic. im still unsure though because my emotions frequently triggered theirs.

why they might be the asshole

i asked them once to stop visiting my social media and i feel like venting about our relationship that broke off 3 years ago to a tumblr community of friends and acquaintances is kind of unfair. however, i might be the asshole and they might just need the space for venting. i could just ignore the vents and let them heal in their own way from what ensued.

WIBTA if i confronted them again and told them that i want them to stop talking about me online? or would i be a party pooper because every person needs a space for venting?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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twistedwonderlandshenanigans · 2 months

Text

Pet Sitter AU

So anyways ummm I've had this locked and loaded for a while. It's not complete. Buuuut it's a comfort AU for me so I shall talk about it when I need it most! (Like rn) I have more I'll add eventually, but if you have any world-building questions lmk!!!

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The premise/the basis of all this is Cater needs to get away from home when he's finally at his breaking point and ends up leaving, no plans, nothing packed, just his wallet, his phone + charger, and the clothes on his back. He ends up calling in an old favour to Trey, a classmate he hasn't seen or spoken to in years, who comes to pick him up off the street and lets him stay in his apartment he shares with Che'nya until Cater can get back on his feet.

Cater recognizes he needs to get his shit together, but he's a depressed mess and has largely been isolated from other people besides his family, so when another person in the apartment needs a last minute pet sitter, he figures it's a small enough task he can handle.

this is based off of this comic

In which Idia has a skrunkly ass stray cat named Meat Spud (Cater does not want to touch it whatsoever bc it has. no fur. He's used to his sister's big fluffy spoiled cats)

The Apartment

So like. Idk, my brain liked the idea of each floor of an apartment building being more luxurious than the floor below it. Im by no means an architect or have any bg in this stuff, apologies if it like. Irks anyone sldkjfhlskdjf

it's a 15 story apartment building with roof access

- First Floor - Apartments are one bedroom, a kitchen and a living room, as well as a small "porch" area outside. There are communal bathrooms + laundry. Unfurnished Rent is ~$560 a month (about 20 apartments are available) There's also a communal deep freeze for anyone who needs more room for their food, but the apartment is not responsible for any losses that may occur.

- Second floor - Still one (larger) bedroom/kitchen/living area, but you get your own bathroom (woo), but the shower is like. the same design as a public shower, you know? like just the spout coming out from the wall. Tenants are still expected to use the laundry room on the first floor though. Small balcony/outdoor area. Comes with a bed + couch. Rent is ~$610 a month (about 15 apartments available)

- Third floor - options for two bedroom apartments become available, but the rooms are Very Small. Balcony is about the same size as the second floor. There is room for a small dining area. The bathroom has a free standing shower. Rent is ~$660 a month (Also about 15 apartments available) Rent has some variation depending on whether you get a furnished or partially furnished apartment

- Fourth floor - More spacious in general, better options for two bedroom spaces if needed, there is a gym on this floor which kinda cuts into how many apartments are available. Most are partially furnished, but there are options available/the lease is negotiable to a certain extent. Still just a free standing shower in the bathroom. Yes there's still a balcony. Rent is ~$700 a month (only about 7 apartments available because of the gym)

- Fifth floor - Tenants finally get their own laundry machines lkjshdfkjdf woo, more spacious, etc. they get a bath + shower combo in the bathroom + a decent sized balcony. They can opt in/out for once a month room service for an additional $50 a month (this increases by $10 the higher the floor but remains an option). Rent is ~$800 a month (about 10 apartments available)

- Sixth to eighth floor are all about the same, just getting slightly bigger (like by 1-3 square feet) as they go up, but they all become two bedroom options. Rent falls between ~$850-$870 with about 8 apartments available on each floor.

- ninth to twelveth floor are all about the same, they get a shower and a bath in their (2) bathrooms, like they're separate from each other, they have walk in closets in the master bedrooms, and they get a storage room. They still are 2 bedroom. Rent falls between $1100 - $1350 a month (only 6 available on each floor)

- there is a thirteenth floor, but it's not an option on the elevator. The owners of the apartment are superstitious and don't rent out any rooms on the thirteenth floor, but wanted to HAVE a thirteenth floor bc...in the event there are ghosts or something in their apartment they would be stuck on the floor with the most energy?? Idk man. Nothing is furnished. Just empty rooms. "Empty" Rooms. :)

- The fourteenth floor is like. luxury apartments. they get the whole shebang with walk in closets for every (3) bedroom, full bathrooms (2) huge livingroom, huge kitchen with up to date appliances, and once a month there's a full course meal that's just brought to the tenants for dinner. They're living the high life for the same price a lot of people are sharing a house with four people withs flkjshdlkjfsdf Rent is ~$2000-$2100 a month. There are only 4 of these apartments, the balcony wrapping around each one

- and of course, the fifteenth floor. Literally. It's like having an actual house to live in but you get a great view of the city from above. It's ridiculous. four bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, like it's just big and beautiful and bright. as for the food, it's "complimentary" (factored into rent) and happens every other week. Or it would if the people living up there didn't opt out of it lsdkjfhlksdjf the apartment owners don't care it saves them money. Rent is ~$2500 a month.

And you might be like. hey. that rent doesn't actually sound that bad.

I know.

I know. Like I share Half a house with four other girls and the total rent per month is $3100. My rent alone is $575. But I wanted to be nice (I did not plan out the rent before this and I simply do not care enough to change it I think I'm being "reasonable" with it)

ONTO THE CHARACTERS

Okay:

Basement

- Jamil (22) – Yeeeah baby he gets the whole basement to himself. Almost. Like there’s a section for all the maintenance and storage stuff, but he gets to live at the hotel rent free because he’s friends with the owners (the Asim’s), and works for them at the front desk. He doesn’t even have to do the cleaning. It’s the freakin’ dream. In order to actually make money though, he does have side gigs so he can deck out the basement however he wants + do what he wants for fun. He has plans to keep snakes eventually, but he’s saving up for his dream enclosure as well as the extra heat lamps he would need for down there.

First Floor

- Ace (21)- Ace's mother divorced their dad she found out about some of the bad habits he had been up to. Just a little over a year ago, his mom became extremely ill and his big brother Jack became the main provider of the family, trying to take care of their mom and his little brother. Ace knew he wasn't outwardly being a burden, but he still felt like one and decided to save up and move out. Shortly after moving out, he lost his job, so he's desperately been searching for another one, but also been doing what he can as a little entrepreneur. Nothing's been super successful yet, which has been super discouraging but he has a couple repeat clients for his stickers that he makes. He also has 4 pet hamsters which he keeps on a live stream most of the time, (they're all named after card games). All he has for furniture is a desk, two rickety old chairs he probably found in an alley somewhere, his mattress and a dresser. His place is a bit of a mess with the stress he's under, and he's had to ask Jack for money a couple times which only makes him feel worse.

- Riddle (18)- Riddle has been playing violin since he was just A Baby (like 3) and had been on fairly good terms with his mother. She encouraged him to move to the city as a means of giving himself more opportunities, and she would pay for his rent. A few months in, Riddle realizes oh shit. I'm gay. And decides to come out to his mother because he has no reason to believe she wouldn't take it well. Well. she doesn't. She immediately disowns him and stops paying his rent for him. He can barely pay for one month on his own, and decides he needs a roommate. He did not really....do any digging into his roommate because he was just desperate to have one...(eventually, when things get better, he gets a pet hedgehog)

- Ruggie (21) - Riddle's Roommate :) He's the only reason Riddle's apartment is furnished, because he manages to find things on sale or on the street or whatever and clean it up. He thought Riddle was joking when he said he wanted to be a musician In This Economy. Ruggie doesn't mind one bit sleeping on the couch. He keeps himself sustained through whatever means necessary. (Doesn’t really want a pet because of the cost, but likes Riddle’s hedgehog a lot)

Second Floor

- Rook (24) – Rook is a blue collar worker, I think in construction? He owns a really old, well behaved golden lab and a brand new, very energetic bichon frisee puppy. They absolutely adore each other. He has no contact with any of his family.

- Deuce (19) – Moved out to be closer to work. He’s currently an apprentice as a mechanic, but on the side he offers blastcycle modifications (so long as they’re legal), and also babysits! He ends up adopting like 4 German Shepard mix (unknown, they’re not purebred) puppies with his roommate because they were both too much of bleeding hearts to give them away or sell them once they found them. It was already tight, (spaciously), because their one bedroom was already split in half with a paper divider, but they surrendered the livingroom to the puppies. Money wise, it is a little tight.

- Epel (19) – Deuce’s roomie. He was the one who found the puppies. He tried to leave them, he really did but Then He Couldn’t. Epel’s family supports him because their farm is successful, it’s not ‘a lot’ but they send him about $150 a month just to help out in the big city. Epel met Deuce at work, his lease was almost up and asked if he could move in because Deuce was venting a little bit about rent. Epel is apprenticing as a fabricator – he’s already a pretty good mechanic because of the upkeep he had to do on the farm, but fabrication seemed fun, profitable, and secure so he decided to try it out. Lowkey has a goal to get into all the trades as an apprentice eventually. He also has his own blastcycle and does late night delivery service as a side gig.

- Jack (19) – Moved to the city to go to school. He wrote home about how he felt really…lonely without his family, and his mom ended up gifting him a Samoyed puppy the next time he came home. She sends him money for all puppy related expenses, and he works part time at a fast food restaurant to help sustain his rent. He’s going to school on a scholarship for his athleticism, and could technically afford a nicer apartment, but he’s trying to be smart with his money. He’s also working to develop his own fitness trainer app because he wants to help people exercise to feel good, not necessarily to loose weight or anything.

- (Nameless OC) – She’s like a 75 year old widow who has a crush on her upstairs neighbour on floor 4. She’s adorable, she’s a little Korean grandma. Every now and then her daughter comes to visit. Her daughter is the one who ends up adopting (human) Grim + Gidel (both friends with Ortho) (Jack helps her bring up her groceries a lot)

Third Floor

- Jade + Floyd (21) – They actually live in a single room apartment, because they toured both a two bedroom and single room and found that they could make more use of bedroom space in a single room. They’ve never met Azul in this AU (I’ll explain this later in ‘relationships’) and are fairly new to land. Jade’s side of the room is all terrariums, his isopods and springtails are his baaaaabies. Floyd has a huge glass enclosure on his side of the room for his Albino Burmese Python. He thought it was a ball python when he first got it. Uh. Yeah. He puts in a lot of work and sourcing people who can teach him how to care for it properly, he’s a great snake dad. When it’s available, Jade will feed the shed skin of Floyd’s snake to his isopods. Floyd also retains some of his strength from having been a mer, so it’s not entirely uncommon for him to answer the door with a snake scarf. They’ve both got working Visas for now to be on land, and Jade is working towards figuring out all the paperwork to become land citizens for both of them. Jade works in a greenhouse, but also sells custom terrariums, Floyd works at a pizza place and LOVES it.

- Trey (23) – He works at his parents bakery basically for free, as they make sure he has enough to cover his rent, groceries and phone bills. He only moved out to escape the chaos that is his household of (hc) 11 children. He is a volunteer firefighter, and the apartment Loves him because he brings leftover treats the bakery can’t sell anymore and just gives them out. Also just. The third floor smells great, all the time because he’s always baking something or other.

- Che’nya (22) – A bit of a freelancer, Trey isn’t even entirely sure what Che’nya does for work, but he always pays his rent on time so he doesn’t really care. Most of the time though, Che’nya works at a coffeeshop. They don’t have a pet in the apartment, though Che’nya kinda wants one.

Fourth Floor

- (Nameless OC) – 76 year old Korean grandpa. Has a crush on the lady two floors below him. They’re adorable and will end up together eventually sldkjhlksdf

Fifth Floor

- Azul (22) – Also a musician, he plays piano and has mommy’s money sustaining him for the most part lmao He’s managed to land a few gigs here and there, but it’s not really enough to keep him going. He ends up getting work at a museum as the person at the front desk and really enjoys it. He gets a couple perks that really make the job worth it (free lunch + 2 museum passes a month so he can go in for free with a friend. If he had any friends) He has a rather impressive tropical fish aquarium.

I don’t have anyone I Want on the 6th floor

Seventh Floor

- Silver (23) – Was raised in the foster care system, but never adopted. He vaguely remembers being taken off the streets and somewhere warm by some black and pink long-haired Guy but that’s about it. He’s always been pretty resourceful, and runs his own, small pajama company, has been since he was 18. He mostly gets to work from home now which is really nice. He owns 2 bearded dragons. He only has a roommate because he didn’t see the point in having a wasted space of a bedroom. It’s kinda funny because it’s almost like there’s an invisible line in the apartment where you can tell which roommate decorated which side of the space sldjfhksdjf

- Sebek (18) – Silver’s roommate. It’s his first time living away from home and he doesn’t really know how to cope. He insists he knows what he’s doing, but Silver can tell he has a lot of life skills left to develop and tries to teach him in subtle ways. While this will be mentioned again later, Sebek is emo in this au LMAO. Sebek also insists that he doesn’t care about the bearded dragons, but he learns how to handle them and ends up loving them and helping Silver take care of them without being asked. Sebek’s dad helps him pay for half of his rent, but he’s responsible for his own groceries which…is where he finds it more difficult to be honest. Sebek was initially going to go into school to become a dental assistant, but he finds it. So boring. And kinda gross. So he ends up going to become a veterinarian. Is his ‘bedside manner’ the best with animals? No. But he’ll learn. Sebek currently works part-time as a parking attendant.

Eighth Floor

- Idia (23) + Ortho (9) (this is a lil. Depressy-espressy okay?) – A little over a year ago, Ortho was in a car crash with his parents. It ended up orphaning the Shrouds and left Ortho crippled from the waist down. Idia feels like he should carry some of the blame because he didn’t get there fast enough, he wasn’t there to protect his brother, etc. etc. but Ortho doesn’t blame him for anything. Idia did inherit the family home, but it felt too big and empty without his parents, and Ortho said he wanted a new space to try and reset. So they’re living off their parents will + business money still, Idia doesn’t really have to do much to keep it running so he can focus largely on Ortho. Ortho’s mobility is very limited early on, using only a wheel chair, but as he attends physiotherapy, he learns to use forearm crutches and he’s very optimistic about being able to walk again. Ortho attends online school, after having challenged a few grades, he’s working on grade 7 level homework/classes. Idia only takes in his cat, Meat Spud, about a month before Cater shows up. It’s a feral, horrifically mannered little gremlin but he Loves It and is the first thing in a long time that kinda shocked him out of his depression for a little bit. Ortho named it. He also refuses to touch it lsdjhlkjsdf but he finds it funny. Ortho deeeesperately wants a White’s Tree Frog because he’s done his research and knows he could handle it. He wants to name it. Cornelius. Also, the kid just generally. Loves frogs. Please let him info dump to you. Please. He knows So Much.

I got nobody in my mind until floor 13

- Lilia(???) – He’s the ‘ghost’ of the apartment. Not really. He is a squatter. Nobody knows how he got in. Nobody cares enough to shoo him out or complain about it because most people don’t even know he’s there. He’s got ‘pet’ rats. They’re city rats he’s befriended with food. It’s not that he doesn’t have money. Don’t ask me to explain him I don’t fully know how it works yet sldkjfhlskdjf

Jumping up to the 15th floor

- Vil (24) – A model, and actor and a successful fashion designer, Vil loved the concept of the apartment which was really the only reason he chose to move in rather than own his own place. He is trained as a falconer, and does have a ‘pet’ falcon. ‘Pet’ as in it is not captive bred, but it was a rescue. For the most part, it flies freely, and only comes back to the apartment for the sake of companionship or for a safe place to sleep. Vil mostly keeps tabs on it’s health. (I need to research this more but like it’s less of a pet and more just a wild animal Vil has favour with and he recognizes that.) He also has two Great Danes from the same litter named Iris and Poppy

- Vizzie (21) – She is a vtuber and Vil’s roommate (will go over this more in Relationships). In person, she is *largely* non-verbal. She’s more of a listener/observer. She has a ‘pet’ crow. Shortly after being friends with Vil she found an injured fledgling and followed instructions over the phone on how to care for it to transport it to a National Wildlife Rehabilitation Center, then decides she would like to actually like to become licensed as a wildlife rehab. Officer. When that crow was cleared to return to the wild, it ended up following her around anyways, so once she finished her certification she knew legally she *could* handle the crow if need be. She ended up getting permission to set up an ‘enrichment station’ on the roof, so ‘her’ crow can has a safe, man-made stimulation board basically and can bring any of it’s friends along, but it’s also not uncommon to see it sitting on her shoulder. It is trained well enough that she brings it into the apartment now and then, but most of it’s time is spent outside. It also loves delivering messages for her. It’s name is Ragnar.

- Neige (22) – You’ll never guess. Yeah. He’s a successful model, actor and fashion designer. He’s got permission from the owners to keep pigeons on the roof. You can imagine the commotion that happens when they see Vil’s falcon, even if Vil does stay on the opposite side of the roof when he interacts with it. He likes the apartment because it’s central so all the volunteer and charity opportunities are within walking distance. He ends up also bringing home a box of sopping wet kittens at one point, but gives all but one away because of his roommate.

- Leona (25) – Neige’s roommate. I think both his parents recently passed away, so the family business was passed onto his brother. Falena is concerned about Leona’s mental and physical health, so offered to pay his rent for him. Leona wasn’t going to say no. Currently doesn’t have a job. Doesn’t really plan to get a job. He will eventually become a lawyer (?). He ends up adopting the runt of the litter of kittens Neige brought home and named her Mgambo. She’s got a tortoise-shell coat.

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Others

- Kalim (22)– his parents own the apartment. He wanted to live there, but they ended up buying him his own place. It doesn’t matter, he’s in the lobby every day, (no job), chattering away to Jamil and trying to contain his six ferrets and an African Grey Parrot that he keeps mostly on his shoulder. He isn’t the most responsible pet owner, but he loves them and tries his best. Jamil often gives him pointers, and he listens to all of them (most are to make Jamil’s life easier but keeps Kalim’s pets safer anyways)

- Malleus (??)– Not quite sure where he lives in the city, but he knows Lilia lives at the apartment and goes to visit him often. He doesn’t understand why he chooses to live the way he does, but won’t comment on it. He has a pet raven but Idrk how he got it. If it’s even legal. It is a happy bird though and that’s what matters most.

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I'll elaborate on more ships later but for now

Azul + Riddle – The twins instigate this lmao, they’re right in between the two musicians and love just laying on their balcony after a long day and listening to both of them practice. Floyd ends up yelling down to Riddle that Azul – the pianist above them, said his music lacks emotion, and Jade tells Azul in passing that while *he* enjoys his music, the little redhead on the first floor said that his music sounds amateurish. This sparks a competition between the two. Keep in mind. They can’t really hear each other. They’re both just swayed by the twins words . It ends up helping both of them, as Riddle realizes he’s always played the violin for his mothers approval, it’s always been mechanical to him, so he slowly starts to really tune in (hehe) to his emotions, why he chooses to play the violin, the sense of loss he feels with his mother, but still wanting to make her proud, and a part of his mind thinking if he can ‘beat’ Azul, if his mother knew, she would be proud, but that slowly becomes less and less important as time goes on. Azul, on the other hand, knows that he’s had less time than the many musicians to perfect his craft, but he’s mostly been forcing himself to learn impressive sounding pieces rather than really learning the basics and practicing them. Eventually there will be a night where they can hear each other, maybe like all the electricity goes out and either out of boredom or to try and lift people’s spirits they both end up playing, but it’s the first time they really hear each other play and they manage to make something beautiful. The twins then ‘ruin’ the moment after a beat of silence from both of them to ask when they’ll finally go on a date. Both immediately deny wanting anything like that. By the next week Azul mentions something about having a free pass to the museum and Riddle doesn’t think it’s a date until he Gets There and realizes it is.

Idia, Cater, Viz are a polycule, but Viz dates Ace as well

Jade and Trey are a thing

Deuce and Epel, maybe?

Vil and Leona

Who knows

Not me

The rest is still being workshopped

I'll elaborate on ships later

And character aesthetics bc Vil and Viz being the resident Goths are soooo important to me.

Anyways

Taglist:

@fluffle-writes @my-cursed-brain

Lmk if you wanna be added ^^

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uninformedartist · 1 year

Text

So a review on Helluva boss So2 ep 6

Ok so gonna break this review down into positives and negatives with my additional thoughts.

Positives:

So always start off with this, big props and love to the animation team we know know and see your struggle working under Vivienne and animating her over-complicated designs. Props to the BG team really stunning backgrounds, was actually a bit over the top for me (Ozzie's palace and especially the dildo factory shit was moving way too fast) but did pause to have a look at the BGs it is really pretty, the shit pacing made everything a visual blur tho.

VA work stunning love always a joy to hear Alex and James in any VA work tho Fizz's song was eyyy not the best but don't blame Alex it was a shittly written song in general especially when it went to the heavy metal part, overstimulating af and again shit pacing during the song and the flashing visuals gave me a headache. Striker's new VA, Ed's voice really grew on me he should've been Striker in the 1st place because I know for a fact Norman couldn't reprise his role for future episodes.

I loved Ozzie and Fizz's relationship especially the end scene where you can see Ozzie development or got hold of the best technology to give Fizz functional limbs, was a tender scene their relationship and interactions made me smile. I'll give Viv 1 ty for not fucking up their relationship, ty Viv (I can be nice to her :). Tho 1 scene that bothered me... the 12 sec Ozzie dong scene 💀 my soul it was just so jarring especially with the fast pacing. Felt like a race car coming to an immediate stop then speeding off again. Would've like the scene replaced with Fizz telling Bliz something nice about Ozzie, why Fizz likes him. I'm tired of queer couples/pairings in this show describing their partner in 2 ways, 1. how good they are in bed or 2. they got x anatomy that's amazing. But its Viv writing this ep, sigh her and her damn middle school sex jokes I'll let it slide.

Now negatives:

I said it before I'll say it for all eternity, the pacing was dogshit bad oh my soul wtf... Viv, Adam whoever I know you guys don't listen to criticism but if any criticism you take fix your damn pacing 😑. I had to pause multiple times just to see what has happening, what was said, what this paper/sign etc said. It was bad, and that paired with the overdetailed BGs and character designs, for the 1st time ever I got overstimulted from a HB ep and had to take a 5 min break to rest my eyes (was by Fizz's song). Its a noisey spinning kaleidoscope this ep, so unpleasant and its all pacing. Stay on certain scenes a bit longer and allow the audience to take in the scene before them (that flackback scene) its makes a difference. If you get overwhelmed/overstimlated ect by such visuals I recommend watching the leaked episode its much better in terms of pacing since its mostly storyboards and there is no color, plus its just the VAs talking with no background music and zero to minimal sound effects.

I didn't care for Crimson in this episode, I know he became Viv's favorite 😒 but seeing this fucker back so soon, it wasn't enjoyable, especially since the only reason he's in this ep is for a "big score" 😑. Also I'm tired of this over convenient plots, Fizz so happened to be in the greed ring and so happened to run into Blitz and Striker so happened to be in greed meeting with Crim who need a man for a "big score" AND SO HAPPENED Striker sees Fizz/Blitz fighting outside the window 🙃. Its all too convenient for me it takes me out and I then think how the plot coming together is ridiculous.

Striker is so under utilized. Since Viv hates him (confirmed by sources I can't pull now apologies) and she wrote this episode, everything established of Striker in So1 is destroyed. He's a husk of his intended character, all talk no show, a misogynistic clown who you can see Viv has no care writing him properly because she doesn't like him which is fucking horrible, this woman will butcher an integral villian, one with a good motivation (he hates blue-bloods) all because "oh I don't like him he's not in my fav OC list", petty af.

Fizz's disability and how its handled, spoke about it in this post:

It still remains the same though now we see it wasn't Wally holding the cake just some other imp and the card Bliz made for Fizz was a love confession still doesn't justify his reaction shoving the imp and his still underlying jealousy of Fizz since they were young. Yes it was backing off from a love confession/ashamed he's not as good a performer as Fizz, Blitz was jealous of Fizz. Made another post saying how I like how Fizz sees his disability, he's content, happy, has Ozzie who understands him and even made/went out his way to get Fizz the best prosthetics to better his quality of life, I like that good on Fizzy :).

5. Going to be a separate long post on (ಠ_ಠ) Blitz, THE FUCKING BIRD IS BACK 💀💀💀 why your rotisserie chicken ass not in hospital or we just skipping past that and how Viv keeps I'm gonna say it, forcing her characters to have daddy issues by writing this fucking irritating basic fanfic trope of killing the mother offscreen/not having the mother in the picture/us seeing her face. A commenter pointed this out and it irritates me because its the 3rd time she does this, she show Tilla (Blitz's mom) in pictures, you think there would be an episode revolving around Blitz's childhood etc but no she's "in" a fast paced pitty party flashback. This woman really can't show an ounce of respect to any female characters.

This is all for now, will be making more posts the more this ep settles in.

Score: 4.7/10

#vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #my post #spindlehorse critical #helluva boss critique

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ianthoni · 1 month

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(Pls dont publish if not anon) I've got a question and i don't wana be mean or anything so i apologize if it sounds like it. you love ianthony very much and love watching content with them yeah? how is it that you're so ok with them potentially stepping back? how can you be emotionally ok/seemingly unfazed with that potentially happening? asking because I'm trying to be but am really really sad over the thought. and it's not like "oh if you love someone you gotta let them go and be happy" is super easy (especially since this is different, it's parasocial after all). Idk, I'm just a little surprised is all. You've been vocal about all things ianthony and love ianthony content, so why aren't you more sad over ianthony content being potentially (almost) gone soon? teach me pls. I miss them. (Not talking about them suddenly retiring btw, but slowly fading away into the bg).

It's my antidepressants i can't feel shit lmao.

Jokes aside, I love Ian and Anthony, I love ianthony, I love watching Smosh as Ian and Anthony.

First tbh with you i did cry and have lots of breakdowns before, you could ask my friends and bf how upset I was just to the possibility of them stepping away, even before they announced this. I'm feeling sad and upset yes but at first I'm gonna be very honest I didn't even realize that could mean they're stepping away(?) for me this was like oh yes this show is gonna be a replacement to FWS and the sketches are gonna keep coming. I didn't notice that they're like actually might be stepping away. I still don't know if they're doing it or not. They might appear in videos and they still have LWS.

Putting that aside, I am happy for them, like genuinely happy. Cause these boys spend half their lives on this. Ian worked 18 years for Smosh, Anthony 12, they carried Smosh for years and they had a vision for it. Obviously I'd love them to keep what they're doing, and I'm pretty positive while saying this I know they enjoy what they're doing, I have heard Ian saying how he enjoys doing videos, Anthony saying how much he loves sketches. So that is kinda why I still didn't lose hope. I think these two cannot retire even if they wanted to. Yeah Anthony has his own channel but I don't think Ian knows anything other than Smosh, he couldn't live without it. But again even if they're doing this. I am happy. Cause they had a vision, and they did succeed that at a very young age. That is amazing. They finally got what they wanted for years. Don't you think that is amazing? Wouldn't you like to reach your dreams? I am happy cause I heard them saying this is their dream months ago. Again Ian spent half of his life on Smosh, like literally half of his life, starting at 18 maybe they didn't have that dream at the time but they had a dream and he stayed true to that. He carried Smosh for years just to say I did success one day. So I'm happy for them. Because they did it! Isn't that amazing?

I love them. I miss them. I also have a parasocial relationship with them and I genuinely miss Ian, sometimes having dreams involving him. But I can't stop what's inevitable, I can only accept and be happy for them. Even if it makes me upset.

#fandom discourse #smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #asks and answers

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likesomanywrecksdo · 5 months

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OKAY SO HERE ME OUT....so the background suggests that this is Andrealphus' castle (the marble floor beneath them matches the floor in the scene where Andrealphus is likely transforming into his full demonic form). So what i think happens is; after the events of 'Full Moon", stolas probably isn't gonna call up blitzø and just ask him to come save him like in "Western Energy" but I do think he's going keep this hope in the back of his mind that he will come for him and just as it's fading...blitzø arrives (mirroring "Western Energy" in the way that Stolas was so hopeful that he would come to save him from Striker and he didn't).

So let's talk about timelines. This would have to happen at a point in time where the audience is rooting for Blitzø's self improvement arc, most likely after "Apology Tour" (where i assume he is going to try to mend his relationship with Verosika but fail) but also should be after "Ghostfuckers" (where i THINK Blitzø will have another fever dream + robot-eye Millie and have that emotional breakdown in front of actual Millie+ when Stolas sings onstage with Verosika and is all in his feelings based on the pumpkins in the bg and the October/Halloween vibe). So mostly likely this frame will be seen in the episode, "Mastermind". The wound will be raw enough to have those sad emotional moments but will also show them starting to move forward at a healthy pace.

The significance of this one frame drives my fucking crazy. Blitzø being at Andrealphus' castle means that he does or he will know about all the shit Stolas has to endure from his family (there's a scene where Stolas is crying/sad and we can see the signature blanket/hoodie (??) that Blitzø is wearing for most of the trailer so he might be next to him). Blitzø would probably find out about how the expectations of the Ars Goetia family and marriage and all that has driven Stolas to his current state of depression (maybe they'll bond over daddy issue idk). Just keep in mind i do not think Blitzø will tell Stolas about the fire until maybe S3 and definitely not in the next 5 episodes.

WHY IS HE HOLDING A KNIFE. Usually, Blitzø's fighting style consists of several guns and bombs and is very explosive also if Andrealphus is transforming into his full demonic form the why can't Stolas since he isn't being bound by angelic technology (that we know of) bc we can see his hands (AROUND BLITZØ'S WAIST OMG) so maybe Andrealphus' castle has some protection spell or something I'm genuinely not sure??

In conclusion, Blitzø is protecting/taking care of Stolas the same way he did for Loona, Moxxie and Millie in "Truth Seekers" and I will never be okay again.

#THEFUCKINGHANDPLACEMENTOMG #i cant with them #helluva boss #helluva boss stolitz

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f1shart · 3 months

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what do you mean by graveyards not being basegame? because there's basegame fake graves and graves when sims die? I mean there's more fake graves in the vampire pack but still? I'm not sure if I'm being wrong and they were added in an update but still I'm a tad confused. Also APOLOGIES sims 4 is (unfortunately) tied as my fav game even though ITS THE OBJECTIVELY SHIT ONE 😭😭

this is also one i got from the wiki that i was frankly a bit confused by but i put it anyway cuz im petty LMAO

when i look at the dedicated graveyard page, it seems to be referring to graveyards that come shipped with the game? you can see pre-built graveyards in ts2 basegame (fun fact: there is one lot in each bg hood that comes with a bunch of graves. a friend pointed this out eheh) but the only visitable ones in ts4 come with the mentioned packs.

so looking back at it, similarly to the "three basegame worlds" this is also a silly little addition, but i'll think about removing it

i have a strong animosity towards 4 but this is pretty fucking funny ngl

#asks

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brekkie-e · 1 year

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yo! i dunno if you've made a post on this before, but i'd be interested to hear details about epione (+ any other tavs)! what's her story? what's she like?

Hey, yes, hi, hello! This is one of those questions that I crave to be asked constantly but also fear all who do will come to regret. I can not be normal about my kids. Especially Epi. She’s my little creature and I cry about her a lot. Thank you so much for asking, and I apologize for the wait!

I do plan on making a more in depth introduction post at some point, so if you like her that’s on the way.

Epione! Far more commonly known as Epi though.

She is a grown up urchin, still trying to find her place in the world. Life has been testing her from the day she was born. Started out in a orphanage that didn’t treat her kindly. Ran away when she was seven to the Lower City, where she promptly met what would become her Mol. Her and her bosom companion, Vestia, grew up alongside eachother in a pick pocket crew and when they hit their teens started a chaotic ride or die relationship. It ended in tragedy when Vestia’s ambition and selfishness found her doing jobs for the Zhentarim as Epi began trying to “go straight” and work her way to a normal life. Vestia agreed to make the attempt, but continued doing jobs behind Epi’s back. When she found out and tried to confront her, shit hit the fan at the wrong time. Flaming Fist made an appearance, and Epi took the fall for the job Vestia was running for the Zhent- spending the next 80 years in prison for it while Vestia climbed the ranks of the Zhentarim and ended up one of their top dogs by the time of the game.

Epi got out of prison about 6 months to a year before the game starts. She found a job as a carriage driver, and essentially plays the role of a chatty cab driver. I do not know for a fact if that is lore compliant due to the animal ban in BG, but we see carts around all parts of the city in the game and it’s an important headcanon for me that I’m too attached to so it stays. It’s one of the reasons she has 3 levels in bard. She has no training but she is a chronic story teller. She has a shitty apartment, few long term friends, and a burning desire to make something of herself that is more than what people see. Above all else, she is a survivor and a hard worker.

Oh and like. As a minor, only slightly important bit- she’s also a cambion. A long lost daughter of Mephistopholees to be exact. One of seven cambion children he had with divine soul sorcerers to aquire enough divine energy to usurp Azmodeus to be exact. Her older brother was sent to fetch her when she was born, and was pissed at his dad so conveniently misplaced her at the orphanage. They cropped her wings in a bit of anti-tiefling sentiment (tieflings can technically be born with wings too so nobody suspected she was a cambion from the start.) So Epi does not find out about her heritage until early Act 3 of BG3 because of Raphael. Yes, he found her alliance with Astarion incredibly humorous because neither knew they were the run away missing ingredient in a plot Mephistopholees was trying to pull. I want to note, this was a plot I came up with in 2020/2021 so finding out Astarion’s infernal pact info was INSANE playing it real time.

She will be getting her wings back courtesy of Raphael in Act 3, and it will be a bit of an ugly transition with a dash of identity crisis.

ALSO she’s supposed to be a lighter pink than shown in some screenshots. Her original colors were removed in the full release so sometimes she’s got a hot pink look to her when it’s really supposed to be a bit more pastel. She’s actually pretty insecure about being so pink, she feels like people don’t take her seriously because of it. It makes life difficult for Astarion when he wants to put her in nice clothes. She hates stuff that draw attention to her.

General info:

Age: 226

Class: 9 levels of wild magic sorcery (headcanoned to be infernal but unstable cause she’s got no training) and 3 of lore bard so CUTTING WORDS

Romance: slow burn rivals to lovers with Astarion

She has a mouse/rat companion named Todd that has had it’s lifespan unnaturally extended by her magic

Epione is technically a part of a custom party that has many more Tav’s in it which I will put much more briefly under the cut 💖

It says Brendan, but it’s a cover name. This is the human form of Jehvka, which is Epi’s older brother. He’s always kept an eye out for her where he could from a distance, and tries to infiltrate the Mindflayer ship to save her. Unfortunately he gets stuck in the same situation and has to play along. It’s nice for him though cause he actually gets to know her and befriend her, but it sucks cause he gets deeper and deeper into the lie about who he is. He’s a very witty devil may care type. Comes off like the big scary brooding guy, but does it intentionally to throw people off gaurd when he gives a big smile and hits them with a pun. Romances Gale. Winds him up by playing dumb during his info dumps and pretending he’s never heard of basic things like “the weave.”

Mizzyrm. She’s going to be the other half of Lae’zel’s evil cultish culture duo. Wizard from Menzoberazzan who channel’s her “evilness” in to extensive research. Which is so important she finds herself hardly leaving her lair, and thus is spared from having to attent soirée’s where no less than 3 murders will occur and everyone is mean to eachother. She is shaped by her culture, and definitely has a dark side because of it. Her research is primarily about how to magically hurt people faster. But she’s got a softness in her that makes her just kind of retreat from her peers when she can get away with it. Basically an evil introvert. When she get’s to the surface, it isn’t going to take her long to warm up to the idea that maybe there’s a different way to live. But she gravitates to Lae’zel because it’s familiar and a dynamic she understands. Also she thinks her mom would approve.

TYPHON. My head empty no thoughts but “do you think lifting this boulder over my head will impress the babes?” Dark Urge boy. He’s going to be the fun stabilizer of the group who encourages everyone to work together. Probably unironically makes people do group huddles and say “go team” before getting into battles. Invented the “bhaal-tap” locker room maneuver. Is sufficiently horrified by his dark urges, his mantra about it is “be cool, man just be cool.” He will likely get a little more serious on a narrative level, but he will not stray far from his Ken roots.

Anathema 2.0

Repressed Rich Virgin Syndrome has taken a devestating toll on her. She is the daughter of patriars who simply don’t have time to raise kids, so she was raised by a very religious nanny and then sent to a convent for a while. She’s only recently been brought home due to a politically advantageous betrothal. She doesn’t have much of an opinion about it because she doesn’t have a lot of opinions about anything. Other people tell her what to do and think. She’s insufferably naive and ignorant and rich. She’s going to turn red with embarrassment and mortification every time Karlach says fuck in her general viscinity, because she has literally never heard a swear word prior to meeting her. Yes, Karlach is going to teach her how to be her own person and be rebellious and think for herself. Yes they are going to elope. No it won’t be until after Gortash causes mayhem and drama.

BONUS PICTURE: VESTIA. My toxic queen. Stay awful, my love. She’s the kind of character that is there narratively to cause problems but you feel bad about it because you know she deserves growth and good things too, but her entire point is to be an example of what happens when you DON’T grow and just get worse. Astarion wants to see his reflection so bad, this is it. A warning sign not to ascend cause it will leave you lonely in the end.

#brekkie asks #oc: epione #oc: Jehvka #oc: anathema #oc: Mizzyrm #oc: vestia #oc: typhon #Bg3 tav #tav #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #not supposed to be this long but im a menace

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juliens-bakery · 5 months

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hi sorry this is so long ! this question may seem out of the blue, apologies, but why are so many boygenius fans on here, like, shameless liberals who won't tolerate any criticism of Biden? to be clear I'm not talking about your blog, I scanned it and it was so refreshing to see someone actually critical of the Dems and their instrumental role in the genocide. like, I see popular blogs in the fandom making aggressive posts that are basically “you HAVE to vote blue” and *yet, crucially*, they haven't reblogged anything actually critical of Biden? it seems the only time they talk about politics is to proselytise about how you HAVE to vote blue despite the *genocide*, and nothing negative about the actual policies, just scolding anyone to the left of them and saying hey biden's actually not that bad domestically !

i'm a POC boygenius fan from the global south and it's just something I've been observing keenly knowing that the external policies of that country will always hang over my head like a looming threat, whether blue or red is in power internally. and when young voters in that country do, for once, take cognizance of the devastation enacted on *our* countries by their govs, these liberals crawl out of the woodwork to scold them, then go back to posting about the latest julien-lucy sighting or whatever. it's surreal to see.

again, sorry for the unprompted rant, it's just been eating at me for so long and this blog just seems like one in the fandom that I can still trust. I just needed to get this off my chest. i fell in love with bg in 2020 I'll go back to streaming them now <3.

hi! thank you for this ask, it's been very thought-provoking for me, and i really do appreciate the trust. and no worries about the length, i'm about to one-up this shit.

it is a little hard for me to answer this question fairly. for one, the boygenius-sphere has changed a LOT since i started here (7 years! it's a long time!), and so a lot of my mutuals that i've had since are no longer here (shoutout @remembermydog though, we still here <3) and a bunch of new people have come through. so i'm really not as plugged in with the broader fandom space as i used to be, and i don't really follow a ton of new blogs these days, so i can't really say that i've seen everything that you've seen for myself.

that being said, even if i've had less ability to share your experiences, i do think what you're saying has a lot of truth to it. the obvious thought is that boygenius fans are disproportionately white, which naturally lends itself to that sort of optimism about the extant systems of power. fundamentally, i think, it is very difficult for a white person in that country to reconcile themselves with the idea that the extant systems of power were always bad to begin with and have never been fit for purpose, b/c they've always worked well enough for them. like, there's no innate moral value with being white or not, but it's not the most surprising correlation either. (and yes, i'm aware that boygenius fans are also disproportionately queer women, which counterbalances that optimism to a very real degree).

the frustrating thing is that there are so many people who refuse to even entertain the idea that some people have a moral line over which they will not cross. and i do think that there can be a moral obligation to do an unpleasant distasteful or "bad" thing in order to achieve better ends. but there's always balance between the depth of the wrong and the value of the ends. and everyone has to decide for themselves where that balance lies for them. if i was american, i don't think i would vote this year, for a bunch of reasons. i don't think i would begrudge anyone voting for biden, especially if they thought that trump would send even more bombs (although frankly i have no fucking idea what trump would do). i've voted for trudeau in years when i really didn't want to because of the voting patterns of my particular district. i am about to be an extension of the canadian legal system, which has inflicted incredible amounts of harm to indigenous people and many others.

voting for biden and not voting for biden are both moral compromises. the only question is: how much blood are you willing to get on your hands as you fight for a better world? everyone's line is different (and not everyone's line is acceptable). i think i'd be more comfortable with not voting, because i think joe biden is among the very guiltiest people for this genocide. so maybe i don't want to support and reinforce that guy! and fundamentally, a party that wins elections has much less incentive to change. and the thoughtless and condescending dismissal of these ideas that really infuriates me. so i am really sorry that your experiences of this space have been tainted in this way. there are lots of good and thoughtful people, and these years have been the most fulfilling period of my internet life. but it's a space full of people on the internet just like any other, and so i don't really think it's uniquely bad, but neither is it uniquely good. i've made a nice little space for myself, and i really hope you can find that too <3.

thanks for the ask. there were a lot of things i needed to get off my chest.

#nat.twenties #asks

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the-owl-tree · 8 months

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I think Shadowsight’s story was more of a tragedy with him living because he never got actual closure for the shit he went thru. A half-assed “apology” from pretty much the whole damn forest except for his parents who wanted him punished for being manipulated and abused and some (Lionblaze) even wanting him dead iirc?? And he just? Clocked in to work the next day like nothing happened and kept being a medicine cat? He got the bad ending actually imo. I don’t like Shadowsight bc I’m tired of “the most specialist uwu sad softboi #8763” being churned out in the series but at least he’s compelling unlike Alderheart, Rootspring and Nightheart and his story is one most people wanted to see end well after all the horrific abuse he faced. But it didn’t? It felt… empty and mean spirited? Which isn’t new for the Erins but usually they do it to women so nobody gaf. Idk I just felt like especially the other medicine cats should have done more to atone for their cruelty. They’re all comrades under the same oath yet they were so fucking awful and treated him at best like a useless nuisance and at worst an enemy. Shadowsight literally ate deathberries out of desperation for an answer that would appease everyone and it’s so obviously a suicide attempt but brushed out to fit the narrative. He deserved better and it was genuinely disappointing that nothing else was done. “Oh Shadowsight, you ARE useful!! Yes you’re allowed to sit with us again. Huh? Apologize? For what” <- Mothwing probably

I feel like him going onto become a bg character with no baring on the main plot and his only acknowledgements are characters going "there's that dumbass who released cat satan" is just. not the plot I think people would have wanted from the guy who played TBC's punching bag for six books straight lol side note....i miss when side characters/bg characters got to have stories and tidbits. Mousewhisker having a crush on Minnowpaw...Spiderleg and Daisy's whole thing....we used to have interesting casts :(

I quite like Shadowsight, I think he stands out from the other examples by actually being strange and offputting. He does weird things and characters comment on his appearance and intimidating looks, makes me actually understand and empathize with his "outsider" status, ya know? Also thanks to osmosis from my mutuals he's a girl to me so there's that lol I think him being so put down by others (facing actual adversity) makes him interesting and my irritation with that comes from the story trying to "both sides" it rather than acknowledge the wider array of issues at hand. I don't think an apology is necessarily needed, I just kind of like narrative acknowledgement. But I'd need to reread TBC for a more succinct argument (i wanna reread tbc anyways, i just need time lol maybe when im bored on campus i'll do it)

I wouldn't call the deathberry thing a suicide attempt, though you could arguably make the interpretation that it is a cry for help in some regards; I think that just wasn't the authorial intent. I do agree he deserved better, it's a bit disappointing how we haven't gotten to see him more :( where is my Shadow and Frost bonding moments :(

#suicide mention #i need to reread tbc i jst remember those middle books being a slog

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voidlandswest · 2 months

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If you're wondering what this blog is about, it's VOIDLANDS WEST. Here's the timeline of what I got so far. Press keep reading to view everything.

July 28, 2024 6:46 PM - Initial engine test for VOIDLANDS WEST. Got the player and shit working. Textboxes still based on CHIKNQUEST POST-MORTEM "game".

July 28, 2024 8:07 PM - Struggled to get NPCs working with POST-MORTEM text engine, switched to version of BIG KID Dialogue system tutorial by Peyton Burnham. Apologies! Also created first music track for the game at 11:05 PM.

July 30, 2024 3:34 PM - Tileset test. Quote: "why did i ever think to do shit like this." Note to self: find a way to hire actual BG artist.

youtube

July 31, 2024 2:38 AM - Created MINI-DEVLOG 1 for Youtube. Introduces camera system, and a "roaming NPC system".

August 1, 2024 - A bunch of procrastination.

August 4, 2024 10:47 PM - Coded up a way to prevent Roaming NPCs from wandering too far from their starting position a la Scuttlebug Mario 64.

And that's all I have so far. Please stay tuned for more devlogs.

#voidlands west #devlog #gamemaker #Youtube #long post

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queenharumiura · 5 months

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I would like to know your honest opinion on ship Xanxus x fem!Tsuna.

[My KHR ship game] ||Accepting|| @squaletta Reminder: This is me just talking. I'm not even talking about RP. ((Thank you for indulging me btw!))

Hate it | Am Neutral to it | Ship it | love it! |

Mandatory readmore

Let’s see… this one is a lil hard because this is a fem!Tsuna which is your portrayal specifically. I suppose the disclaimer is that this is entirely based off how I personally view your muse from what I’ve seen. I am liable to be incorrect about things, so apologies if I get some things wrong or understand things wrong of your portrayal of Fem!Tsuna.

NOW ONTO THE SHOW!

I said neutral and ship because well, it’s hard for me to ship something if I don’t know much about it or I don’t have a strong understanding of a character. I’m also in general very ehhhhh about (M)Tsuna and Xanxus. I don’t hate it, but I don’t like it either. Like we’ve discussed before, there are differences when it comes to gender altered characters, so tentatively, after thinking some things through, I think I could like the ship- though it would depend on how it was done.

In the previous one answered, I sorta mentioned it, but I write these based off how I think a ship could feasibly work and be developed. So this isn’t to say I know anything about canon events or know about BG of your Tsuna. This is more of a thought exercise, so do keep that in mind. The Xanxus is also possibly different from how some may portray him because again, this is based off how I think it could work—so some things may differ because that’s how I’m choosing to think of him to make a ship work. Kk. Disclaimers done.

So, some of this talk will make sense if I also preface with (M)Tsuna. The reason I don’t like the ship is because every time I see (M)Tsuna and Xanxus, they always make him the most uke to have ever uke. The megaladommed of ukes. I hate it. Tsuna is a fearful lil dude and pretty timid but he’s not like that. He has some back bone to him. He knows when to take a stand. Moreover, he would at least put up a bit of a fight. He’d ba panicking at the very LEAST not just crying through everything. Bruh.

That’s how every single person portrays the (M)Tsuna x Xanxus ship for some reason, however. Idk. It does sometimes involve funny art though, I’m not gonna lie lol.

So, with that, we have the contrasting Tsu-chan as I like to call her. We’ve established before in a ‘how do I see your muse’ kinda meme that happened a while back. [x] Linked for reference. I enjoy the fact that she has more fight in her in the form of sass/sarcasm. She’s more willing to just take charge initially as opposed to Tsuna who normally takes a more nuanced neutral stance at first before he finally decides ‘okay I need to act’. I am going off on a limb to assume that some of this can come about due to the fact that Tsu-chan is a woman.

She likely had people who doubt her ability to take charge and to lead a massive famiglia like the Vongola. Not to forget that she was quite young when Reborn first came into her life to train her to become the 10th. Women in general are usually told to just be pretty and it is best to be subservient to a degree. Just let the men do all the work, or to simply listen to men as that’s their place. That is a mentality that a lot of places tend to have though things are better in more modern times and in some countries.

I think, Tsu-chan had to take the stand and had to prove herself time and time again to the point where she’s just so used to having to prove herself that it resulted in her faster and stronger response to altercations than Tsuna did. He has a more passive kind of attitude to things but she does not. She’s also seemingly more ambitious than (M)Tsuna likely was. That’s the vibe I get. She may be respectful towards others, but she can easily take it back. She will take shit from NO ONE. Honestly? DAS RIGHT GIRL, YOU DO THAT. GO AND KICK SOME ASS BECAUSE HE WAS A FUCKING DUMB ASS. DO IT. FOR ME.

It isn’t to say that (M)Tsuna doesn’t have fight in him. It isn’t to say that TYL him didn’t have ambitions either. However, canon him was always shown to be more gentle and passive until you went over a line and then he acts. Then everything he was holding in comes forth and he’s a force. Tsu-chan, I have the gut feeling, has a much lower threshold, than (M)Tsuna. Also possibly had less insecurity issues than that of (M)Tsuna. I cannot speak to all iterations of how you write her, but at least based off the premise of our interactions, Tsu-chan had a childhood friend and one she got along well with.

Haru is such a positive bean (THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!) and she’s such a caring and supportive person (THE BEST WAIFU OF MY LAIFU!!!!!!!!) and so I think that as opposed to (M)Tsuna who didn’t have friends, she would certainly have a bit less of the sociability issues that he had. From this, you could say that she has more emotional intelligence than he does. This may turn into her having a stronger sense of self, which then means that she’s more willing to assert herself. So from a younger age, she was PROBABLY (I’m just guessing) more willing to be honest and speak up than (M)Tsuna was.

Why am I saying all this and why is it relevant? It’s VERY relevant. Xanxus cares a lot about power and authority. He also cares about image. Something that I think some people often forget is that Xanxus may be ‘old’ comparatively to the others, but he’s also quite young too. He was frozen for many years in ice. He had lost many years that could’ve been used to experience more in life. When he was thawed, he was still in the heat of the anger of realizing he’s not of blood relation to Nono. He lived his life as a lie, almost. This wasn’t even something he was told in confidence by Nono. It was something he had to find out indirectly. That is such a huge blow to someone, especially someone as prideful as him.

People don’t realize just how much that kind of thing can mess with someone. You’ll feel a lot of anger, hurt, and even betrayal in many cases. It can be traumatic and this is things that I’ve been told from people who had such circumstances happen in their family. It is trauma, despite how little it may seen on the outside. It shapes the way you view the world and your familial dynamics. For Xanxus especially it also changed the political game. It changed his stance, it changed his ‘ranking’ in a sense because he NEVER had the placement of being the next heir to the Vongola like he thought.

Tsuna/Tsu-chan being the rightful heir (due to no other living relations surviving) is not only a thorn in his side but a painful reminder of himself. They are the opposite of him. They lived the majority of their lives not even knowing about the Vongola or about how they had right to the ‘throne’ so to speak. It directly contrasts himself. The thing about (M)Tsuna is that he’s timid, he shows a lot of fear. He’s very ‘soft’ in the way he goes about things. That is not something the Vongola needs- that’s how he’d see things. Sure, Nono is also a pretty tenderhearted person, but he is a mafia boss.

I’m very sure that he knew how to harden his heart and do what must be done. It’s evident in the way that he literally caged Xanxus in ice. He will ultimately do what must be done- but he’s also very tender in the sense that he only caged Xanxus in ice instead of revealing the truth and ousting him or getting rid of him. HOWEVER, it also shows how cruel he can be. To be caged in ice, to be trapped in that time of your immense anger and hurt? That’s truly cruel. To not even allow Xanxus the time to really process through his grief and hurt, to rob him of YEARS of his time, possibly condoning him to being a man-sicle for years until maybe Nono’s death. Hard to say whether the ice made from Nono’s flames won’t melt after his death.

If so, imagine how awful that is? Xanxus may wake up in a totally different time, everything is different, and the one person he may have wanted to get answers from—is dead. No chance to even get any form of closure! That, to me, is INSANELY cruel.

Sorry, back on topic. If I’m correct in thinking Tsu-chan had more back bone when younger holds true, then at least Xanxus would take that into account and hate her less on the account of perhaps acknowledging that she may be a fit for the role. That she could possibly lead the Vongola. She won’t just lead them into the shitter like he probably thought (M)Tsuna would do with how soft he is. He probably hates Tsuna so much because of who he stands for, what he has the privilege of (and doesn’t even WANT- HOW DARE. FK YOU. I WISH I HAD WHAT YOU HAVE), and for how weak he seems. It would be a bad image for the Vongola. HIS Vongola, the one that SHOULD’VE been his—entrusted to this lil baby boy fledgling. It makes him so mad.

Though I think he’d have a better impression on Tsu-chan which would help. With her stronger emotional intelligence (bc frankly, Tsuna is very emotionally dumb as hekk but it’s understandable due to his lack of socialization. That’s a common result of a lack of socialization) she’d be able to perhaps notice how much pain he’s in. How much inner turmoil he’s going through with the impact of the news of his real bloodline being not of the Vongola. He isn’t truly Nono’s son.

From here, I think Tsu-chan would have a better way of dealing with Xanxus. I strongly doubt he would want to be consoled directly, because of his pride and his great disdain of the reality. How he found out. The betrayal. If Tsu-chan can navigate that well, break down some of his walls, become a small pillar that helps him on that road to healing from his hurt. The damage is done already, for sure, but it can get better. I mean, think about it. Tsu-chan also was never told about her lineage. She was suddenly thrown into a new life, one that she wasn’t warned about. One that she literally has no choice in the matter of. It’s a direct opposition of his situation, but it’s still very vexing.

I think in some way if she’s able to talk to him, and he can learn about her situation and how it affected her, it can open him up to some things. Not pity her situation, because it is something he wanted (to be the boss), but he can sympathize with the fact that they were both in a sense victims of the circumstances of adults not telling them things. Not giving them the time to warn them of what was to come, and certainly not giving them the time to truly process things. Tsuna was quite literally told lol you’re the next boss, no you have no choice in the matter. Oh by the way all these people are after you because of who you are. Ye you gotta fight. You gotta watch your friends suffer.

OH!!!! Sending you off to the future. You could die. BRO. Tsuna had NO TIME TO REST. nO TIME TO REALLY HEAL. NO TIME TO PROCESS HIS LIFE. NO WONDER he was so adamant about wanting out. No wonder he gets so prickly with Reborn. It’s very reasonable! (Fite me world, it’s reasonable. I think the ending where he’s like nah I don’t want this was actually quite fitting. The WORLD can fite me on this. I don’t think that part was a bad ending. I hate the yakisoba scene and that’s what made the ending bad for me lol)

Depending on how things progressed between them, I can maybe… see Xanxus trying to offer some help to her. Give advices or help with resources if she needed it. She may be stuck in a situation she didn’t want to be in, but based off what I’ve seen of her, I think she is more accepting of it than Tsuna was. Assuming that to be true, that isn’t a demerit towards her. IF she is trying her best despite being so new to things and not having been born into the life like a lot of them were- he’d have to give her some credit for trying. He would ultimately decide that for the sake of HIS Vongola, he wants her to be the best and strongest boss that she could possibly be.

In doing so, they form a stronger sense of trust and respect for each other. It’s wayyy more subtle in canon because of how much he hates Tsuna lol. I think in Tsu-chan’s verse it may be more obvious, depending on how things played out.

If it plays out in this sort of way, I do think they could be a ship. It would need a lot of work and it may not be the most wholesome of ships because of there being differences in rank, his pain, and the fact that he probably will forever be angry about the fact he couldn’t be the boss. Though, what can you do? It’s the mafia. It won’t all be pretty rainbows.

If I had to say, the theme for this kind of ship is one where they see each other through an inverted mirror and see how the other is struggling through the reality they didn’t want. Seeing that, it makes them want to help each other in small ways and from that comes the respect and comfort.

Let’s see… I did promise some(?) cute(?) ideas perhaps for a ship.

Perhaps by TYL time or even after that, where Xanxus has processed a lot of his trauma and has seen Tsu-chan blossom into a respectable boss that she is, he has to (secretly begrudgingly) accept the fact that she’s a good boss, one fit for the Vongola. She is his boss. (In canon I think Nono will forever be his boss, fuck Tsuna. You aren’t my boss you lil fuck. That’s his energy, I feel) IMAGINE? Just a scene of him taking her hand kissing the back of it and ‘Though you aren’t the one I wanted at the mantle of the Vongola, you have proven yourself to be worthy. To the Boss, I pay respect.” JUST IMAGINE THAT. The prideful guy admitting that after years. I FOAM at the mouth.

So, a part of my HC is that because he is so full of rage that it morphed his flames, imagine that with prolonged exposure and association with Tsuna, he calms down some and his leadership skills are a lot less violent and angry. He calms down and is more of a vision of who he was before. The very Xanxus that Squalo wanted to support and follow. Just imagine others noticing how his rage flame is less and less prominent as he heals by her side and his sky flames eventually become purer and they all know that it is due in part to her influence. That is until something happens to Tsu-chan and then the full brunt force of the rage flame resurfaces again. Ahhhh YESSSSSS I LIVEEEEEEE for when guys just SNAAAP!!!! GO GET EM TIGER! THAT’S THE ENERGY I LIKE. The chaotic destruction. Ahhhhhhhhh Sorry that’s not cute, is it? (IT IS TO MEE!!!!!!!)

I don’t see Xanxus being the type to really fluster. I can see a scene where maybe she tries to flirt with him and doesn’t get much of a reaction from him because he doesn’t feel like reacting (lol) and so she maybe one day surprises him with a surprise lil kiss. He goes silent and stares at her—and it’s so disappointing bc like REACT, YOU FUCKING WALL OF A MAN!!!! GET FLUSTERED! But no. He just grabs her and kisses her as a response because he’s more retaliatory than reactionary. Yess… is what I want. I like. I want it.

So yeah, those are some of my thoughts. No idea if any of that made any sense but I tried!!!

#squaletta #Meme answered #Answered ask #Thanks for the ask!#Neo speaks #((Phew my arms are tired. My fingers are a cricking lol))#((I did my best with it. It's a lil different bc one is not a canon muse persay so it's a lot of --- assumptions))#((I did my best tho. =w= Hopefully it was okay and made some sense. I tried~))#Neo game answers

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oatmeal2321 · 2 years

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this is one i finished a few days ago! im pretty happy with the posing, its the first time ive properly drawn anything under the shoulders in a while(i suck at anatomy)

i dont actually know how fabric works either, i hope it looks ok

also, this is the first time ive done a proper bg in ages, so apologies about how shit it looks lol

#i dont know what's happening with her shadow #im pretty happy with the hair and shading and stuff other than that tho #i think shes kinda sitting on the edge of a road or something but i dont really know tbh #oh well #original art #art #drawings #digital art #illustration

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trickstarbrave · 1 year

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Asfkghjkl please please give the deets on Baldur (only if you wanna)

uhmmm sure i can hopefully it will be what u want

>uses he/him pronouns and mostly masculine terms so i guess i'd put him closer to the boy side of nb?? gender is hard i think if you asked him he'd say "i'm a guy??? i think??? i guess???? something like that. definitely not a woman"

>uses primarily one handed weapons. knows a bit of archery and also good with a shield. id apologize for giving so many of my skyrim ocs archery if archery wasnt such a useful fucking skill

>for his bg i didn't actually think it thru LMAO he is just on the streets most of his childhood so he learned to steal. this gets ppl to treat him like shit from an early age bc no one wants a scrappy thief running around your home or business potentially stealing from you

>very good looking. other characters are transphobic abt his appearance now but fuck them i love my pretty boys and will make pretty boy ocs until i die probably.

>has faced a lot of SA both pre and post transition and is pretty traumatized and thats mentioned a lot in the story early on esp disassociation from trauma so it might be triggering. i self projected a Little too hard. he learns to fight to defend himself and refuses to die

>obv not every single character was a horrible transphobe but baldur also like to keep to himself due to being burned before and theres also a lot of casual transphobia. he's a smaller guy rather than the typical buff nord warrior (a significant portion of that comes from malnutrition growing up though)

>he makes it all the way to sovngarde actually despite how frankly ill prepared he was

>like i need to stress even with the "blades" backing him and him doing active recruitment for them and getting them to higher numbers than the game allows (for more realism) he isn't taken seriously by most people and was super unprepared. they sent him to get the dragon stone and fight the dragon at the tower bc they were kinda just hoping he'd die. even the blades didn't rly take him seriously except for delphine and esbern and delphine wasn't happy this was their 'hero'. he was kinda scrawny due to not eating properly and not trained well enough. despite this he was a pretty terrifying warrior

>alduin acknowledges this and thinks if he treats THIS dragonborn like a dragon he shouldnt get a miraak situation this time. he gave miraak too much freedom as a priest as far as he is concerned. keep the dragonborn on a tight leash with proper discipline and rewards and he'll hopefully have a good champion on his hands instead.

>i made up some shit for this fic exclusively that is probably not lore friendly. which is dragon's CAN just make oaths they take seriously, but also alduin knows how to etch that oath onto their souls and claim them as his own. breaking the oath can have some dire consequences, but as a benefit you can get stronger and also be brought back from the dead by alduin because alduin is eternal and can't ever really die without seriously destroying time as we know it. normally its uncomfortable and dragons just put up with it but uhhhh baldur likes it a little Too Much

>did i mention this fic gets pretty bdsm? it kinda does. we have soul branding, soul sex i guess???, possessiveness, claiming, probably more im forgetting. alduin learns the joys of a very submissive and compliant sub i guess

>also added is like i said in another ask dragons in this au do just have sex. theyre pretty cautious, prideful creatures though. so usually there is some light combat/wrestling/debating over who is gonna bottom and 'submit'. dragons love dominating after all and who am i to take that from them. they'll do it to blow off steam reinforce hierarchy, for rewards, and also just for fun. dragons don't really need to reproduce and can choose if they get pregnant or not so it serves other functions socially for the most part

>in fact finding two dragons that ACTUALLY reproduce is weirder. they can in this fic but for the most part they don't. having kids with someone requires a level of trust and devotion that dragons seldom like to give up, but it does happen from time to time. those that do are usually mates for life and are pretty exclusive with one another. creation via reproduction is seen as inferior to just shaping the world however you want to (and THAT part is actually lore compliant with tes

>oh yeah and dragons are fucky with gender. they're literally dragons. demi gods to full on gods and cosmic forces of the natural world. what matters is if you're a drake or a jill (god i hate that term but its what we got) and that also informs your duties to time itself. theres drakes that lay eggs and jills with penises. also why dragons vary so much in appearance, they just pick how they wanna look. they don't give a shit. baldur having a vagina absolutely does not phase alduin, nor does his transition--its only right he change his body just as he changes the natural world with his thu'um, its his birthright by akatosh

>i know a lot of the above isnt abt baldur specifically but i hope it can inform you a lot on how his relationship with alduin goes and why it goes that way

>alduin names baldur his champion and doesn't hesitate to start taking care of him. he isn't aware mortals down in skyrim weren't treating him the best yet. he thought they should have been given he is their champion sent by the divines to defeat him according to prophecy yadda yadda so why wouldn't they treat him like a king and outfit him with the best gear they had at their disposal? but baldur well fed, well trained, and geared up is kinda Stupid OP, especially when backed by an army of fire breathing dragons and magic flinging undead. lol. this boy has no problems

>baldur starts conquering cities no problem. the wonders actually being well fed, geared up, and surrounded by colleagues that don't hate you can do

>alduin actually likes having sex with baldur just as much as baldur does with him. alduin theorizes it's because akatosh made baldur for him (to stop him, but same difference in the end), and the dragonborn is the most loyal of his followers so he doesn't really care

>the other dragons get jealous of it though. where is THEIR fun reward. why don't THEY get to fuck the champion. whatever alduin is being nice (by world eater standards) now so they can let it slide

>im actually thinking of alduin having baldur's armor designed after himself. walk up in armor that looks like the scales of akatosh's first born to show how much you belong to him. lol

>does alduin fuck him in a conquered city at one point? i can neither confirm nor deny.

#baldur #alduin #nsfwish???#yeah i guess it is #my ocs #if theres more questions i can answer but i just dumped a bunch of baldur information in hope it answers the question

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